#i really can't stand headcanons that everyone decides is canon

[incorrectbatfam]

Types of obnoxious batfam stans

Written by an obnoxious batfam stan

Not really a rant but something I've noticed over the years interacting in different spaces and I've decided to make your problem now.

Please note that I'm not saying there's any "right" way to be a fan because we all suck by virtue of being comic nerds, but there are certain kinds of batfamily fans that stick out to be in particular.

Anywho, here are 12 kinds of annoying batfam stans that you've probably run into and you better get a laugh out of it *points gun to your head*.

1) The Newbies Who Never Heard of Google

There's no shame in being new to something. It's a phase that we're all guaranteed to go through, whether we're 11 or 101. However, in this day and age, so many things can be easily googled that you don't need to shout every question you have into the VVorld VVide VVoid. If you need comic recs or a reading list, google it. If you wanna know a character's origin story, google it. If you need to know the color of Batman's underpants in a particular issue in 1965... well that's probably too specific for Google but Reddit will definitely have an answer.

2) The Middle School Authors

Before the 13-year-olds get up in my notes, I'm not saying everyone that age writes like this. Middle school is a state of mind. These fanfic writers usually stand out in a few ways.

They're oftentimes first-person POV or reader-insert. Give Y/N a break, she's tired.

The grammar is stunningly atrocious. I get if you're inexperienced or if you're writing in a second language, but we are in the prime era of autocorrect. If you need help, it's right there. Also, fuck c*nsoring b*d w*rds and fuck "unalive."

The characters do things that are out-of-character because the author is projecting their own personality. Bruce Wayne is a lot of things but he does not listen to the fucking Mountain Goats.

There's a lack of experience or research when it comes to certain topics. That's not how physics works. He can't walk that injury off. And that's definitely NOT how you do the horizontal hokey pokey.

3) The Neckbeards

Unfortunately, these basement-dwelling mouth-breathers tainted the image of what a comic fan is, though that's been changing recently. Still, we've all seen them. They gatekeep via pop quizzes, 'cause obviously you're not a real fan unless you know what page 10 of Batman #138 smells like. They give unsolicited commentary on people's cosplays, nitpicking the guys and being gross toward women. And heaven forbid the comics add a little diversity.

4) The Moviegoers

Nothing inherently wrong with getting into the fandom via the movies, nor is there anything wrong with sticking to that. I just feel like we're two different species of Galapagos finches, you know?

5) The Christopher Nolans

Separate from casual fans of the Nolan movies. I'm calling them the Christopher Nolans because these people have a tendency to reach for the grimdarkest thing possible. It's like they cannot fathom Batman having any other emotions besides punching and gargoyle brooding.

6) The Canon Purists

Wanna share a fun headcanon? NO, because Stephanie Brown never used cherry lip balm in the comics so therefore that must be the absolute truth. These people are a stickler for comic accuracy to the point where it's like... why bother interacting with the fandom in the first place? The worst part is when they're adamant on following a single continuity and refuse to consider anything else. This is comics we're talking about. Everything either has been or will be canon at some point.

7) The Fanon Worshippers

On the opposite end of the spectrum, we have the people who base their entire perception of the characters on something either they pulled out of their ass or that their mutual with 16 followers came up with, despite evidence directly contradicting it. I love WFA, but I feel like that's partially responsible for further perpetuating certain popular myths. Also, these fans tend to focus solely on the batfam/their ships. It's one thing to have some people in the foreground vs. background, but put some respect to Bart Allen's name you goddamn cheesecakes.

8) The Golden Age Dads

These guys aren't really obnoxious. I actually find it kind of cute how they think Jason Todd is still dead.

9) The Chronically Online

I have a rule of thumb when it comes to discourse: if it's not something I'd hear about at a bar, it's not worth my mental energy. Some people haven't gotten the memo, though.

These are either the well-intentioned but misinformed teenagers or grown-ass adults beefing with children because they don't have a life. They have takes that are oversimplified, rage-inducing, TikTok algorithm attention-grabbers that no one cares about in real life.

Don't get me wrong, we've got a bunch of issues in comics and fandom that are worth discussing. However, there comes a point where you're splitting hairs and need to go the fuck outside. I'm not gonna link the post 'cause I don't wanna call them and their 7 notes out, but the other week I saw someone saying Stephcass was a racist ship because something something colonialism parallel. You gotta be Elastigirl to have that kind of reach.

10) The Corporate Simps

I love comics. I appreciate the writers and artists. However, you will find my carcass in a ditch before you catch me licking the boots of DC/Warner Bros. Basically, these fans, fewer as they are, can't seem to fathom that their favorite franchise can (and does) put out some steaming motherfucking garbage.

11) The Hot Cosplayers

Not actually annoyed, I'm just a little jealous. Stop being hotter than me, please and thank you.

12) The One With A Punchline For Everything

Wait–

[catacombbee]

school bus graveyard headcanons because im thinking about them

and because im projecting

just general / random headcanons

Tyler has arachnophobia and entomophobia. creepy crawlies are a HARD NO for Mr. Hernandez. Jackass bullies? No problem. Phantoms trying to eat him? Easy. Tree? Been there, done that. Fucking spiders? get it the FUCK away. mans has a visceral skin crawling reaction to even SEEING something creepy crawlie. it's one of the only things that makes him seriously panic other than yk someone being hurt

Ashlyn has autism yes this is basically canon i think. BUT Ashlyn has a lot of texture sensitivities both with clothes and with food. itchy scratchy clothes are a no. she cannot stand t-shirts keeping their tags they rub and scratch her neck and it makes her want to scream. she cuts the tags out before wearing anything. and food she can't have anything too squishy or tough or else she just loses her appetite entirely.

^^ to build on the clothing tags. everyone else in the group cuts the tags out of their jackets/hoodies and some shirts so if Ashlyn wants to borrow something she can be comfortable

Aiden is down bad for someone wearing his clothes. this can apply to any ship you want, i like him with Ashlyn Tyler or Logan (ive like never seen any talk abt Aidgan? Loden?) but regardless. whoever it is Aiden likes he gets so giddy butterflies giggly seeing someone wear his clothes. this is moreso for Ashlyn or maybe Logan because Ashlyn is so much smaller than Aiden that his sweatshirt would probably hang off her and Aiden would just abdjshfkefbns she's so cute!! this is mostly an Aidlyn hc for me but Logan would also be cute in anyone else's sweatshirt

uh if it's not clear by now im a multishipper ive said it before BUT i like Tyben a lot. they find calm and quiet in each other and bond through expressing themselves through something much healthier: music. i adore Tyben. AND because of Ben in the canvas webtoon: Tyler calls him ladybug. "Hey ladybug" "It's okay ladybug ive got you" "ladybug, you okay?"

kinda related to previous one but like blush hc. Ben does not blush. maybe a little pink on his cheeks. but his EARS. his ears get so RED when he's angry or when he's flustered. his face might be 😐 but you look at his ears and they're red you know he's flustered

ALSO everyone learned ASL for Ben so he didn't have to just use notes n stuff. Aiden was already learning but everyone else picked up on it

Logan likes compact spaces, they male him feel safe and secure. Like the tire! He feels very nice and snuggly in his tire. But also like. under beds. in closets (haha). one time they played hide and seek in Aiden's house and Logan won because he fell asleep curled up in an empty cabinet. Logan loves being little spoon because he just fits snugly in everyone's arms

it's been mentioned Tyler plays guitar, but i hc that he's also a really good artist. because he got into baseball for a scholarship he's kinda dropped both art and music, but in getting to know the others and especially Ben he gets back into playing music which leads to him drawing again. he doodles pictures of his friends and they realize what a good artist he is. that's how he realizes he actually has passion for creativity and decides he wants to be a tattoo artist.

(i was writing a tyden tattoo artist Tyler au on a reblog draft from a post @\the-killies made and like forgot abt it. someone peer pressure me if you think that sounds like snth you wanna read. it was probably over 1k words by the time i forgor)

Taylor likes mechanics (cus. the club) but she also knows some programming. this is solely because I think Taylor would like making little robots just for fun. Aiden would beg her to make him a little robot like that one companion toy robot Cosmo

in canvas sbg Logan brought a bunch of clothes for them to wear in the pictures/videos they took. so. Logan likes cosplay and renn faires. History is one of his favorite subjects (the other being science. english/literature is a very close third. he doesn't dislike math just isn't his favorite) so he has a lot of clothes from different time periods because of the renn faires he's been to.

This is a really unhinged headcanon and isn't something ive ever thought about before but thinking about Logan having outfits and stuff made me think who would be the most likely to be a furry. and no not Logan. it would be Aiden. hes rich enough to splurge on his fursuit. THIS IS A JOKE I DONT HC HIM AS A FURRY THIS IS A "WHOS MOST LIKELY TO" PLEAS

Aiden's favorite subject is history, he likes reading about wars but he also enjoys learning about other cultures and differences from how we live in modern day America. Aiden would probably study anthropology just for the fun of it. he and Logan bond over their love of history. Aiden can't remember what he had for lunch yesterday but he can tell you every little detail he knows about the Civil War start to finish, dates and names and locations and all.

this is a really weird hc but. Ashlyn is an amazing rapper. there was a karaoke night and one song someone did had a rap part coming up and they were like ahaha it's too fast for me and Ashlyn just stood up. took the mic. and fucking blew everyone's minds. and then she sat down like she didnt just rock their world

this last bit is self indulgent. assuming the phantom world things don't last forever, the kids get therapy eventually :D

^^ building on that, Ben specifically, he lives in my head rent free. i love him sm. Ben gets therapy for not just the phantom world things but everything beforehand. slowly and surely, starting with Aiden and Lily and maybe whichever person he's shipped with, he starts talking again. Some days are better than others, sometimes he gets quiet again, other times he goes for days talking as much as anyone (except aiden he yaps.) everyone almost cries when Ben is doing something and begins singing to himself because they realize he's better

im gonna do like gender & sexuality headcanons too,,, maybe later. might do silly ship hcs too cus i ship so many pairings here

[ermnmika]

Dating Dabi headcanons

Because I have a Dabi brainrot and you should too. Enjoy. dabi x villain!gn!reader.

warnings: mentions of smoking, wounds, scars and blood. mentions of dabi's true identity (no details, no spoilers).

a mix of fluff and angst. no NSFW. i tried to make him as canon as possible, but feel free to correct me. also this is fucking huge.

inspired by @chainelunaire's headcanons of dabi, especially the sewing and dealing with the smell parts.

• this man is very unapproachable. he pushes people away, doesn't let anyone near him, doesn't even speak to people unless it's necessary. he has this cold and smug demeanor that pisses a lot of people off, but he doesn't really give a shit. all he has in his heart and head at this moment is revenge.

• let's be honest, when you join the league and you two meet, he doesn't think of it much. in his eyes you're just an ordinary bystander that may help him as an asset to achieve his goals. there's nothing of that love from the first sight shit, not from him, not from you.

• the thing that starts attracting you to him the most is curiosity. after getting acquainted with all the other members of the league, you notice something - dabi is different. he feels different. he’s so closed off that no one really knows much about him, and you never once believed that dabi even is his real name. he discusses the plans, does the job, and then he's gone. even if he is in the room with everyone, he doesn't participate in things, standing in the shadows. he's more like a ghost than a real person.

• it takes some time to notice the subtle signs of communication with other members not regarding villain work. when toga tries to have some fun with him, he only rolls his eyes, telling her to shut up and leave him alone. but, there was this one time that you remember to this day: when you entered the room you were met with toga, sitting on the couch and looking at her reflection from a piece of broken mirror in her hands, while dabi is standing behind her and doing her hair. she somehow managed to get him to give her a new hairstyle and not refuse. you guessed it was because she was a comfort kid in the league, the weak point of all the members, even the most distant ones. you observe him when he's listening to twice rant about something patiently, or him discussing what new design compress could use for his next mask. he’s mostly tense, sometimes smug and easily irritated, but you see the quick glances at members when something snaps and they start arguing, or the way his brows furrow when some of them come back injured from a mission. you know nothing about this man. his likes, dislikes, dreams and aspirations, not even his real name or age. but something about him makes you think there's something more inside his heart than just hate and resentment.

• so you decide to stick by his side. find something about him, anything. and you do. you find out that this man is a walking talking contradiction. his small smug smile, but his empty lifeless eyes - a contradiction. his careless attitude, but his desperate attempts to get rid of the smell of burnt flesh - another contradiction. him keeping his distance, telling everyone to fuck off and leave him alone, but not flinching a bit when the members touch him. another one. you can't keep your smile when you think about it. he isn't the type of person he tries to have the impression of.

• he notices it too - he's very observant since he doesn't talk a lot. notices you. notices your worried glances, your thoughtful gaze, your… staring. since you became a new member he didn't trust you much, because he obviously doesn't trust people that easily. you had to work to get his trust… and you did, not even trying to. you did your work efficiently, you treated other members well, hell, you even played those stupid videogames with shigaraki that he couldn't stand. and you looked at him, not averting your eyes. he had a feeling that sometimes you looked inside him, so deep inside, that it was hard to imagine.

• it slipped past him - the time when he begins to seek your eyes whenever you are together at the bar. when he begins to feel relieved when you come back uninjured, when he doesn't want to leave and keep his distance when you stand close to him. his head, once full of pure and aching rage, his only goal in life, starts to get filled with thoughts of you… and he's terrified. it fucks with his brain and he's so confused.

• he’s fucking dense when it comes to human relationships, but the signs are very clear. he knows that you care, he just doesn't understand why. why would you? he did everything to push people away, and, well… he's hideous. on the outside and on the inside. he’s a terrible human being who got wronged by life, and he didn't want to make yours even worse than it was. the confusion is too constant and irritating. he doesn't understand his own feelings, and he doesn't understand why you would want to be with someone like… him. so he decided to not do anything, not make any difference, and let you realize that he's not the type of person you want to get together with. and when you leave him alone, the feelings will disappear, too.

• but of course, life wronged him once again by not agreeing with his plans. every day it became more suffocating for him to exist in the same space as you. of course, you weren't a pure angel, you had your own cut of crimes, but you were too nice to him. he couldn't stand it. side note: you were actually nice to everyone, it's just that his heart dropped every time you did it to him. he felt stupid, so stupid, he wanted to bang his body against the wall to get rid of this… sappy shit.

• you saw it. you saw the difference, because you kept observing carefully. is this how he reacts when he realizes people can care about him? it was ridiculous, a tiny bit fun, but for the most part very upsetting. at some point you found yourself wanting to get closer, to understand him more, to be… near him. to not leave his side. to protect him. at that moment you realized you fell. you fell pretty hard for this dumb little arsonist.

• months pass, and he makes a stupid mistake of letting you get dangerously close to him and his life. it became a routine - smoking and talking with you on the balcony, even though you don't smoke, taking strolls with you around the bar at night, stealing shit and leaving it “accidentally” for you to take, letting only you treat his wounds after operations (and secretly holding his breath while watching you treat him), subconsciously protecting you on missions, and most of all, feeling almost completely safe in your presence. he hadn't felt safe with someone his whole life, he could confidently say it was the first time. months passed, but it was still terrifying.

• the league members knew too, of course. your mutual attraction was so obvious that no one even questioned it anymore. suddenly dabi starts coming to movie nights which he used to skip, just to sit next to you on the couch and shit on the movie afterwards. he doesn’t even pay attention to it. just thinks about you falling asleep on his shoulder. but it doesn’t happen because you’re worried you’d scare him off with sudden physical contact. since when did his comfort become your priority?

“So,” Mr. Compress calls him, while cleaning an empty glass after one of those nights. “When are you planning to confess?”

“What?” Thought Dabi out loud, dumbfounded. “The fuck do you mean, Compress?”

“I guess it’s still not the right time…”

• the right time arrived when you were almost fatally wounded in a battle against multiple pro-heroes. death was undoubtedly scary, but what was more terrifying was the absolute shock and panic written all over dabi’s face. you had never seen him like this before, and neither had anyone else, because he had forgotten what it feels like to care so much about another human being that he felt like dying inside. he pressed your weak and injured form to himself, not caring about the blood, and covered you with his whole body, carrying you in his arms. he was scared shitless, and you gave all your effort to not lose the grasp on life and survive. you didn't really have anything worth to live for, and after all th things you've done you probably deserved to die, but you loved the league, and you loved him. so you were not to give up.

• there were too many colors and sounds surrounding you, but you had no idea what was going on. you felt so, so exhausted. the world before you started to lose its brightness, and you just wanted to close your eyes for a moment…

He looked at you and his breath hitched. He had to get you to a safe place, now. “Hey, hey, fuck…” He pleaded as he touched your face, trying to wake you back up, voice filled with horror and immense worry. “No… Don’t you dare fucking die on me. You hear me?! If you die I’ll fucking kill you myself.”

• you woke up the next day, all patched up in your apartment and with Dabi by your side. he never left, you thought. you found out he can't cry. he found out he's in love.

“I never asked to be here at all,” he whispered, holding you close, having you in his grip like you're the last drag of air he had left. You buried your head in his neck, his heartbeat almost like a loud drum in your ears. You were so cold, and he was so warm. “So why do I have to face the fear of losing you?”*

• after that it just kind of happened on itself. his fear of losing you overcame his fear of being vulnerable. everyone knew you were together, and they were all glad that you came back to them alive. it felt very… different. things changed. you tried to be as open to him as you could, though it was difficult even for you. you only saw him being vulnerable once, on that day. after that, he still kept his distance, because he needed time to adjust to everything. it was new for you too, so you understood and waited patiently.

• he became very self-conscious since you two got in a relationship. before that he didn't really care what people thought of him, but now he had a person he somehow had to not lose. and he couldn't help not feeling hideous. you were looking, and you saw the scars, and you felt the smell, and you looked inside his burnt heart.

• he couldn't help feeling nervous when he met your curious and… loving gaze. he closed his eyes when you brought his hands to your face and placed gentle kisses every morning you were together because he couldn't handle it. he wasn't used to getting affection, at all. he felt like ripping his body apart, but it also somehow felt good, almost addicting. why couldn't he just crawl into your head to understand your thoughts?

• once he gets used to all the physical affection, it's over for you. he’s not letting you go. once he realizes you actually like feeling him on your skin too, you're stuck with him. this man is a touchstarved lonely loser that hasn't even realized it till now, so he's glued to your body and there's no way out. he basically lives in your apartment now because you didn't want him to stay on the streets, and that means constant hugs, cuddles, kisses and more. you want some time to relax on the couch and read, or watch something on your phone? his head is on your lap, nose sticking into your tummy. if it takes more time than he anticipated, his patience runs out and he falls onto you with his whole body, knocking whatever you held out, and caging you in his grip. if you're making something in the kitchen, he wraps his hands around your waist and kisses the nape of your neck. he also loves having you on his lap, tucked in under a blanket, and he kisses your forehead. makeout sessions on the floor, holding your hand when you're on a rooftop, looking at the stars, groaning and not letting you go in the mornings. you both feel heat rising to your faces in moments like this, because sure, you touched other people, but it was never this… open, vulnerable, genuine and gentle.

• every day he surprises you with how sincere he actually is. dabi the first time you met and dabi in your arms now are like two different people. you find his playful and childlike personality rise up to the surface, replacing the cold and smug one. the moments like these are rare, but very… memorable. you hear him banging on your bathroom door when you're taking a shit because he misses you, and when you yell back, he responds with “y’know babe, i don't mind the smell. you put up with mine, so i can do the same”. or when he keeps losing in a videogame and throws the phone at the corner of the room, and punches a pillow a hundred times. “i can't! how do you fucking do these things? is there a cheat or something?” and you laugh. you laugh, and you laugh, and he thinks it's the warmest feeling he ever felt. so he keeps making you laugh. you feel so loved, because it's only you who sees him like this. it's only you who he trusts this much.

• he tells you he likes sewing. no one really did it for him obviously, and he liked holding onto his clothes, so he had to do it himself, and he actually found it soothing. so whenever you needed something patched up, he picks it up immediately. if you get a hole in your sock, he's on his knees and doing the job. he also loves dancing. he was secretly doing it his whole life, it felt freeing, in a way. and he's become good at it. on some nights he grabs your hand and pulls you into a slow dance, in a dark kitchen with the only lighting source being a lightbulb in the fridge. he doesn't think of this as romance, he never knows what romance actually is, he just does what he thinks you might like. and you like it a lot.

• there are tough times in many relationships, and yours wasn't an exception. we all know dabi isn't the most mentally healthy and stable one. there were times when he regressed back to distancing himself, when the guilt and doubts would eat him alive, and he was gone for days, if not weeks, only coming to your apartment at night through your window, and lying beside you on the bed, bringing you close. you asked him what's wrong, you tried to be there for him, but sometimes it was just unbearable. he can't. he can't tell you. he trusts you, he truly does, but not fully. he doesn't trust anyone fully. so you argue. again, and again, and again. he comes home with bruises and injuries, that you have to tend to, and you find out that his “metabolism issues” that he mentioned in the league was a lie to cover his overheating. you ask him to be careful over and over, but he can't. he has to prepare and achieve his goals. and it's dangerous. he doesn't want to involve you in that shit.

• give him time. it's all that he needs. it hurts both of you, and he hates to see you upset. he thinks that you would leave him because of it, and it scares him to his core. for the first time in his life he allowed himself to let someone get so close, and if you left, he couldn't even imagine what kind of person he would become. if you left, you’d rip out a part of him and leave him completely empty. but he always expected it. always expected you to leave him. because who would want to stay with someone like him? someone so stubborn and selfish, secretive, irritable, cold and… disgusting. so he would understand if you left, but it would hurt worse than the depths of hell he resided in.

• but you don't. you stay. it keeps hurting you, but you still stay. it irritates him, he's confused again, but he holds you close at night, he kisses your fingers, and you stroke his hair, while he's listening to your heartbeat. and then it all spills like blood from his burnt skin. he tells you everything, slowly and carefully, and you feel like you passed some kind of test. it’s ironic for some reason. he tells you about who he actually is, his childhood, everything that got up to this point, his crimes and his plans and goals. you listen attentively, and he looks so… small. open. weak and vulnerable. he looks up at you and waits for a strike. he expects you to get disgusted, to curse him and regret ever falling in love with him, to blame him for all his sins, and finally leave. it's like he went back to being a child that is about to get irreparably broken. but you only sigh, kiss the crown of his head and tell him he should’ve told you earlier. you say that you will go through all of this together, that you won't leave him, not now, not ever.

• he can't believe this. what is wrong with you? it wasn't supposed to be like this. after everything he did you still chose to stay with him. it was ridiculous. you ruined his whole perception of people. that night he kissed you until you were both suffocating. it hurt like a bitch, it ripped your insides. but you decided not to cry. you decided to learn.*

• and so, you kept smoking on the balcony together. you kept taking strolls around the bar at night. you kept coming to movie nights with the league and snuggle under the shared blanket. you kept protecting each other, treating each other's wounds, healing together. you trusted him with your life. he trusted you with his soul and beyond. you were now the most precious thing in this world for him. he even decided to try and not die for your sake. did he forget his initial goals? obviously not. has he obtained a new dream? yes. will he burn this world to ashes for you? yes. will he do anything for you? probably. if you ask well enough.

* a lyric from "the fear of losing this" by florist

* a lyric from "devour" by mr. kitty

in conclusion: he's a touch starved little babygirl that needs attention. not proofread, so i apologize for any mistakes in advance. also, eng is not my first language, so there's that.

[neverchecking]

I have a brain rot for sage, hes challenging the chain for their time with player/reader, he basically wants all His/Her/Them's attention, of course none of the chain and sage are going to "play" fair their going to cheat no matter what. the only ones he might not win against is time, FD and maybe twilight. wind, four, Hyrule, and sky would do sad puppy eyes to get cuddle time, twilight and legend turn into their animal form to get pettings, sage and wild would cook food to get points for being delicious. (etc.etc.) just some yandere shenanigans for attention. the challenges he did were sword fighting, bow and arrow targeting, sparing, arm wrestling, and so forth.

-Eevee

Okay, last one for the night! I figured since this isn't really a request, I could spitball some more of my headcanons for our beloved Sage.

Jk it delted itself so I gave up and went to bed bc last time I tried to push through I wasn't happy with the end product, so sorry for the delay!

For those of you who don't know, Sage is another name for the Tears of the Kingdom Link--dubbed Hero of the Zonai-- should we decide he is not in fact Wild.

For the Wild and Facesitting request, it's in progress I promise! I try to go in order with my requests, but like I said, this is more headcanons versus a scenario. It should be out tomorrow later today so look out for that ;)

ANYWAY-

Y'all. The amount of Sage requests in my inbox right now? You guys are feral for this man and I love it. So I'm here to feed you guys.

TotK spoilers below!

���❥・Okay, so lemme start this off by saying. I have done you all wrong. And for that I apologize.

・❥・Because our wonderful @wayfayrr has opened my eyes to new possibilities that I would've never even thought of. So everyone say thank you rn >:(

・❥・So let's make some amendments!

・❥・First off, let's talk about nicknames. I love the idea that Reader, and only Reader, can call him anything other than Sage. And calling him other herb-related nicknames? Kills me. He is a flushing red mess the first time it happens. You had deemed him worthy of a nickname? You considered him person enough to have a moniker that wasn't also a title? If he was down bad before, it's so much worse now. Because you see him as a person. He's sure the others just see him as a means to the end. The second one of them, maybe save Wind, try it, he's shooting them daggers and snarling at them for even daring to try and impeach your privilege. (I also love the Calm, Wild and Feral thing, I thought that was so freaking clever.)

・❥・And you know how each of the hero's have their own 'sword' right? Well, what if Sage's was the Master Sword Remastered? Like Sky's (Like most of their Master Swords actually) but now it's been boosted by ten thousand years worth of direct light magic. (Does the Zonai time fall before Skyward Sword or after? I have no idea where they fall on the timeline tbh.). Just a thought. It could also be a gloom sword which probably wouldn't effect him as hard in other timelines because there's no demon king to power it, but it probably does hurt the others if they try to touch it.

・❥・Now, the juicy part. Let's retouch on Wild's and Sage's relationship. I originally said that Sage was okay with him? I lied. Wayfayrr has opened my eyes.

・❥・Sage probably can't fucking stand Wild. As they said, this is a version of him that didn't have this second adventure. Got to rest and distant himself from the Hero Title. And that just pisses him off. Why did he get the shittier hand? Why did he have to do it all over again? Why when this failure got to get off easy? Why couldn't he have the same grace, huh? What made them so different?

・❥・And if we're using the past oneshot (Here!) as they're 'canon' meeting, this filth let you get hurt. You were hurt before meeting him, which means that they can't be trusted with you. Especially Wild. So Sage cannot stand you being near Wild. At all. It eats at him and he doesn't last long before splitting the two of you up.

・❥・Calamity is even worse. There is probably an active hate towards Calamity (In this Yandere world, in a normal, not toxic world? They probably work out their differences a little better). This was a version of him who didn't even have to die to complete his quest. And this just shows that Fraud has favorites and it's not him.

・❥・You know who else he probably doesn't like? Twilight. Now, hear me out. This is purely me just spitting this out, but Sage has to be aware. He listens when they don't think he does, he's awake when they think he's not, he's watching when they don't even know he's there.

・❥・So he probably picks up on all of their little secrets. Meaning he knows Twilight is Wolfie. And (I think this is Canon is LU but I'm not sure) Wild had Wolfie as a guide. Which means Sage had Wolfie as a guide. The difference? When he needed him the second time, left stumbling around like a newborn fawn crawling out of the shrine all over again, he was left alone. He was fighting robots with a fucking Stick. He fused a mushroom to a shield just to buy himself more time. At one point, he was fusing a long stick to another long stick just to fight from a distance to save his battered body. Rauru did as much as he could, but there were some times he wished he was left for dead.

・❥・Not anymore as that means he would've never met you, but then? different story.

・❥・They also brought up that Sage probably doesn't stop at just cooking your food and I agree. When on the road, he for sure goes straight to the source. If he doesn't know exactly where it came from, it's not going anywhere near his Goddess. Nope. Not a chance in the gloomy depths from hell.

・❥・He's going to farmers themselves rather than merchants for produce, hunting any protein himself, climbing trees for eggs, he probably even makes his own butter. Now, because he's also cooking savy this for sure makes the rivalry between him and Wild widen. Wild is set in his cook for the chain, not you. Sage can't trust them to not hurt you again. Whose to say they don't over spice the food? Or undercook the fish? Or drop shells into the egg?

・❥・He can't trust them and may force you to pick one of the other. Depending on who you chose, he'll either hold his victory up high or work even harder to separate you from the chain. Can't you see, Reader? They aren't good for you.

・❥・When it comes to the Gloom, he for sure uses to his advantage. You know he's been infected, but you don't know how much light he's gathered to dispel it. At this point, he's probably gotten most, if not all of it, out, but you don't know that. And he preys on that fact.

・❥・Oh, the Traveler wants to down to the river with you? But, Reader, there's something rotten in his chest and he's stumbling against trees, exaggerating his steady steps just in case to really sell it. He needs you by his side, can't you see?

・❥・Oh, the captain is trying to get you to settle with him for the night? But, Reader, he's tossing and turning, feigning sleep and acting just enough to catch your attention. He's listening, ears pricked, just to hear you swiftly apologize before your gently hands are laying on his shoulders and he's won again.

・❥・And because his Hyrule is one of, if not the most dangerous Hyrules, he's given so much ammo to keep you tethered to him. You can't trust anyone, don't you know? The Yiga uptake has skyrocketed and they are everywhere, along with Ganon's new ability to make puppets? Can't you see how you can't trust any of them?

・❥・He even entertains you when you come up with the idea to have a secret saying between just the two of you as a fail safe. (It's probably something like 'Deforestation Enthusiast' because of how the two of you met.) Anything to have you pulling further away from the Chain and into his arms.

・❥・If it begins to take longer than expected, Sage is not above letting you wander just enough in his Hyrule. Maybe you set off a bit of Gloom hands (Or maybe he nudges them in your direction, hard to tell, really) and they go charging at you. The others don't know how to deal with them, but he does. He saves your life before the others even know what hit them. He's cooing into your ear, reassuring that where the others fail, he would never dream of it. He's whispering that he knows how scary the feeling of those hands are. He knows how freezing the feeling of sudden restriction, only accompanied by the burning sizzle of malice, is. He knows and he understands, but he's right here. He'd never let anything happen to you. Not like the other frauds.

・❥・Now, all that being said, Sage for sure does not play fair. Oh no. He does challenge them in his own ways, but does it in a way that can only reflect badly on them should they call him out on it.

・❥・He's fighting (Picking apart) with Wars and Calamity on their sparring routines, angling it in just a way that should they snap back he can turn on the innocent little look with a 'But I'm just trying to protect you. I don't know how any of you fight, I'm still learning.' Just in time for you to catch them barking at him to 'Learn faster' and it just falls perfectly into place.

・❥・He's calling out Twi and Four every time they try to wander off (Probably to bring out Wolfie or split to relieve a headache of sorts) because 'The woods are dangerous, what are they doing going off alone?' and now they can't leave because all eyes are on them and he's restricting their movement without even really trying. They wanna go foraging? But he and ...Wild were their best foragers and they were busy with dinner (That was something bitter to get out).

・❥・And wow, Time, Legend and Fierce have so many secrets, can you really trust them? Sage has laid down his entire adventure to you, and regardless if Reader is a LoZ player and knows of them regardless, Sage told you. Those two are trying to hide from you. He would never.

・❥・Wind, Hyrule and that filthy disgrace want to drag you along to go Shield surfing? Reader, do you know how dangerous that is? Especially with someone's track record. Here, you wanna go riding on this motorized wagon he just happens to have on hand? (Between the Zonite in his Purah pad, he can build any component necessary.)

・❥・Not even Sky and First are safe as he uses carefully laid words to sully their once golden image towards you. Afterall, they're so close to Hylia, whose to say they aren't behind all of this?

・❥・Now, you said that the only ones he may not win against are Time, Fierce and Twilight, but like I said, I can imagine him loathing Twilight, so instead, may I suggest First.

・❥・Time and Fierce are both pretty burly dudes that demand some semblance of respect and while Sage has muscles, he's not overly tall. So while he doesn't bow, he may just back off from their forefront for a while.

・❥・Now, First. He's probably the only one who can put Sage back in his place of the hierarchy. It's the first in the timeline, versus the last (As of right now). And it's not pretty. They probably go to blows a few times when you're out of ear shot.

・❥・The problem is that First can only push him back when you're out of ear shot and Sage makes it a point to keep you as close as humanly possible.

・❥・And while yes, some of them may use puppy eyes, Sage is not above using pity to get what he wants because he just hurts so badly don't you know?

・❥・He unfortunately can't do anything about wolves or rabbits. If they manage to disappear before he can call them out on it, he's left bitterly sulking as Wolfie laps at your cheeks or dumb rabbits nose at your hand. He may know who they are, but not even he's cruel enough to call them out (Yet) because that would just pit you against him. They weren't his secrets to tell, you would scold, and he just couldn't handle that possibility.

・❥・The biggest difference between Sage and Wild, one that the chain will fail to realize right away, is that Sage is much more experienced. He is on his second, THIRD if you count the pre-calamity, adventure. He knows everything Wild does, and more. Wild knows how to improvise and adapt, Sage can do it faster. Wild knows how to forage and concoct incredibly potent elixirs? Sage can do it tenfold with half the ingredients. He knows all the little tips and tricks and is not only backed up by the champion's gifts-- should they have remained-- but now he has the sages with him.

・❥・Like imagine their mid-battle, they had forced you away from Sage just to create some distance (At long last) and mans comes rolling in a giant fucking robot. He's using Sidon's sage to shield you over and over again and decimating a battle field using nothing but Riju and an arrow. Hell, the bigger enemies are struck down by Yunobo crashing into them. Sage alone is enough to cut the enemy hordes in half through recall and sending their own attacks back at them or fusing together weapons they wouldn't have ever dreamed of with new abilities. Even his outfits give him benefits far beyond anything they could think.

・❥・You saw him as someone more than just Link. He wasn't just the Swordsman to you when that was who he was to everyone else. You dubbed him something far beyond what a damned sword made him.

・❥・And he would have to be four days dead before letting you go.

・❥・And as he's proven before, Not even death could truly kill him.

I am so glad I waited bc I like this one so much more than the one that was deleted.

[leiflitter]

gimme ur farliegh headcanons my boy deserves a little love

Farleigh stuff! Keeping this vaguely charactery stuff vs any particular canon.

Under the cut as per for anything vaguely NSFW.

He makes snap judgements about people. He's always had to; it's a survival skill for him. He will admit when he was wrong, but he doesn't like doing it unless he can be all smug about it. "I thought you were interesting... Seems I was wrong."

He is also a fucking pro at Making Friends, but he considers friendships as temporary. He will be moving on at Some Point and he cannot care about that.

The only permanent friendships are Felix and Venetia, but he also can't stand them 90% of the time because they do not understand how easy they have it. That first year was the first time it ever actually came up properly- the begging bowl conversation- and Felix's reaction was really, really painful for him.

He waited for Felix or Venetia to text him after The Email Incident. When they didn't, he decided that they didn't need to know what Oliver had done. They could keep that weird little psycho.

He actually really liked Pamela, but he would never actually say anything about it.

He is openly and clearly pansexual. Felix tells everyone he's gay. "Felix, I have told you, I'm pan." "Isn't that just gay with, y'know, some tits added in, Farls?"

He only sucked off ONE teacher and actually he was a student teacher and Farleigh was in his final year so it wasn't even that bad.

Farleigh's actual explusion reasons include (but are not limited to) plagiarism, lewd behaviour, making the headmaster have a nervous breakdown, and drugs.

He is very protective over his mother, who is more like a sister to him. She's honestly useless, but Farleigh's been off Being Educated so he's only been parentified from a distance.

Clothes are his armour as much as his snark.

He and Oliver didn't actually have sex; the spit was because Farleigh is circumcised and ngl that's not super common in England. Oliver did do some between the thighs stuff, but look. Oliver Quick is many things, but he's a 19 year old repressed weirdo. The dude is not getting anything up there.

[thevagabondexpress]

an alternate take on why it's forbidden for parabatai to fall in love:

so, y'know, I like the idea of there being some actual threat behind the taboo, that it's not just a thing the Clave decided on for arbitrary reasons but no, there's a good solid reason why this shouldn't happen. However, the "you turn into primordial angel beings and destroy shit and die" really didn't do it for me. Because guaranteed there would be some unhinged parabatai somewhere that'd think, "Yo, that'd be a pretty dope way to go out actually let's try and make it happen" (cough, Emma and Julian, cough) and so it doesn't really have much punch. So I started casting about for other reasons for the taboo and stumbled across one that would not only have severe complications for parabatai who fall in love but also for some parabatai who don't. And I happen to think it's pretty badass, so I'm sharing it here.

The idea is this: it's stated canonically that parabatai feel each others' emotions and pain. Being in love works the same way, and when the person you're in love with is your parabatai, that emotional bond begins to act as an echo chamber, bouncing that state back and forth and back and forth between you and growing louder and louder and louder—until it drowns everything else out.

It's taboo for parabatai to fall in love because you can't do it without becoming unhealthily obsessive with each other. It's not possible. The love echoes in the bond until it grows unhealthily strong, eclipsing love for everyone and anything else, until you start to closed-circuit and isolate yourselves from the rest of the world, because you're trapped in an echo chamber that can't be turned off.

And that's why this headcanon can have consequences for parabatai who don't fall in love, too. Other all-consuming emotions, like hatred (imagine a world where falling out with your parabatai is equally as bad, if not worse, than falling in love with them), obsessive guilt, and spiraling depression, can drag your parabatai down with you through the same kind of echo-chamber effect in the bond. Maybe that's why some of the parabatai we've seen in canon have that weird, awkwardly too-close feeling to them. Not because they're in love with each other. Because one of them is standing at the edge of a cliff and the bond is dragging the other one inexhorably toward it no matter how hard they fight.

[the-trinket-witch]

Trinket's TWST OCs x Reader Headcanons

(I blame @thehollowwriter for inspiring this one XD)

These Headcanons are a mix of platonic/romantic, ignoring any 'canon' pairings they might already have (Lookin' at you, Al)

His love language is Acts of Service, so when he starts trying to do stuff for you? Keep an eye out. The problem is he's usually friendly to everyone so it's the subtleties to look out for.

To this point he's one to pine after someone. He hopes his actions might speak louder than words, so there might not be an outright 'I fancy you'. The only reason he actively pursued/told Azul outright was because subtlety can be easily dismissed by a guarded heart.

He will insist on public transit if going anywhere if a car is a viable option. Likewise he could come off as obnoxious when it comes to driver/passenger safety. Seatbelt before keys, music isn't too loud, put the phone down, etc.

Oddly, if you really want to know the biggest tell you are In With Him? The mask starts coming off. His chipper, stiff upper lip attitude gives way to a more calm, almost melancholy air. He's gotten comfortable enough with you to open up about certain things, things he hasn't so much 'lied' about so much as 'omitted details to let you make your own truth'.

For as much as they give airs of 'being more mature' than their peers, there's still a 16yr old there. If they start trying to show you some of their art/music tastes, that's def a path of at the very least friendship.

If you find yourselves having a good whinge over something to drink? You're DEFINITELY friends. Being a Prefect is difficult, they gotta let things out somtime and there's only so many suggestions of 'Just Burn them to a Crisp' from Grim that they can take.

If comes a crisis and they feel need to give Grim to YOU? Congrats you now have a relationship with a Prefect.

Ya boi is awkward. He's acutely aware of his size and strength so his attempts to make friends usually has him trying to seem as unimposing as possible. But if he can't, he'll content do just stand off to the side for you

He's not writing or drawing anything lewd, he swears! Catching him sketching you or writing observations is a bit of a tightrope. Either you can make him clam up about how much of a muse you are to him, or you can open the floodgates to more information about human culture (whether you're human or otherwise) that you would have any idea what to do with.

Dates may be sparse at first, as he'd want to go to a local cultural or holiday event with you. Him burying his nose in another journal isn't him ignoring you or his way to call you boring, he's just really invested in the atmosphere (and maybe observing how you're enjoying things to note for later)

Laz is kind of a flirt, so off the bat it'll be hard to tell if he's just being him or if there's anything more.

Like a lot of guys, if he's inviting you to band practice, it's to show off. 'Mira, any requests?'

He loves the idea of being on the road for shows, but deep down he wants someone who is willing to wait for him at homebase, cheering him on. He just needs to prove it's just his music and not his heart that likes to rove.

It should be first and foremost stated that no matter what he says, he has no interest in friends or romantic partners. Less people to share his success with.

However, one can find themselves more often at his side with a few points of navigation.

How gullible are you? How willing are you to ignore the progression in things he asks of you? How much do you need to see a therapist? How well connected are you? These are a few deciding factors in how close the Python will allow you to get.

Depending on what you can give him, he has the means to pull out quite a few stops. Gifts, travel, physical intimacy, it's all in the name of dividends.

Of course, when it comes to wits and intelligence, is where you can genuinely start to 'charm' him instead of the other way around. If you can out-psychology him or evade all his attempts to crack you, while also showing off what you know but aren't willing to divulge, will make him utterly writhe.

He's a king looking for a ruling partner (that isn't going to threaten his status)

Friendships (or 'alliances') are mutually beneficial. He knows just the right balance of give and take.

He can smell a gold-digger a mile off. It's happened enough times he knows all the steps. Because of how often younger folks tend to shoot their shot that way, he tends to go romantically for those 30+.

While he doesn't want a leech on his arm, he doesn't want someone overly codependent either. He's a busy man, so someone with hobbies and a general maturity of independence would be ideal.

Friendly gatherings tend to be part of public events, but he's a busy man so compile your stories into elevator pitches.

'Dates' on the same hand, are typically in those same spaces. hearkening back to a need for maturity, he isn't going to bring someone who's going to get him in the paper for all the wrong reasons.

[ENTRY REDACTED. CANDIDATE NOT AVAILABLE FOR ROMANCE]

TAGLIST: (lemme know if you want added/removed)

@ceruleancattail @squidwen @thecosmicjackalope @vaporvipermedia@writing-heiress

@oya-oya-okay @k-looking-glass-house @thehollowwriter @rainesol @cyn-write

@heartscrypt @honey-milk-depresso @br3adtoasty @jackiecronefield @ruggiethethuggie

@hoboyherewego @achy-boo @oreoskys @oseathepebble @oathofoaks

@tunabesimpin @hamstergal @fumikomiyasaki@valse-a-mille-temps

@hallowed-delights @kimikitti @plutos-hell @thetwstwildcard @atwstedstory

@comingyourlugubriousness @ice-cweam-sod4 @twst-the-night-away @nammanarin

[queen0fm0nsterz]

Kinda random, but if the characters are supposed to abstract while the series is running, I believe Kinger or will be last, or won't and will try to protect the others.

He is a king after all, the king is the last piece to be captured in chess. I think every character kinda fits a chess piece, but I don't have enough brain power to assign everyone.

I really enjoy this idea in a vacuum, but I think that in the context of the plot as we know it now it might be a bit of a reach. We will have to wait and see. However I am very happy you compared Kinger to the actual king in chess because I think his behaviour somewhat reflects what a king in a game of chess actually does.

((For those who don't know: I'm an aspiring chess nerd, and I have been learning how to play the game to the best of my abilities. Prepare for an infodump.))

A king in chess is the most important piece of the board when it comes to protection: losing your king means checkmate, a.k.a losing the game. At the beginning of the game, the king is surrounded by the rest of the chess pieces which act as his defensors. This reminded me a bit of how Kinger tries to constantly keep himself in a pillow fort in an attempt to self preservate.

When it comes to moves, the king is a bit peculiar. In spite of being so important, the king can only move a single square per turn; however, unlike most other pieces, it can move in all directions. Ironically, it has the same mobility of a pawn, but the ability to go everywhere of the queen.

Kinger himself is a bit of a nutcase. He is wildly unpredicatble (can move on all directions), sprewing out words of genius and genuinely insightful information while also acting completely nonsensical. Two sides of a guy... but the thing here is that he rarely takes action himself. The only instance of him truly deciding to do something besides keeping his fort was when he played rock paper scissors with Gangle. He moves with... caution is not the right words as I doubt he even is able of being cautios, but that's the sentiment; he can only "move" once, so he has to make it count.

An interesting detail about the chess piece is that it usually remains unmoved until the chess game enters its endgame stage. That would be when few pieces are on the board. Looking at the members of the current gang vs the many previous players seen on the crossed out doors, we can infer that at this current moment in time in the timeline the metaphorical endgame is taking place right now. And now, according to Jax, is when Kinger decides to start spewing out information about the digital world which he had never disclosed before. We don't know for certain if it was even a conscious decision, but it's certainly peculiar.

Concluding this with a bit of a sad thought: we all know that between those who have (presumably) Abstracted, there was another chess character by the name of "Queenie".

Due to her name and appearence, many have assumed that she and Kinger were formerly in close ties with one another possibly even prior to them entering the Digital Circus.

I think this headcanon has merit: they share a theme, appearence and the title of royalty, so why not assume a relation between the two? It'd be terribly sweet and tragic considering how she ends up...

However, I must point out something here that I haven't seen anyone bring up: Queenie is the black queen. Kinger is the white king. On the chessboard, they would be enemies, playing on opposite sides. With this in mind, I remember that the creator of the series said that there won't be any canonical ships in the show; with this knowledge, let's take this a step forward... what if the reason there won't be any relationship from an in-universe stand point is because the circus itself does not allow any deep interpersonal relationships?

Even if they were together prior to getting into the circus, Kinger and Queenie can't be together -- and this is reflected on their designs: king and queen on opposing teams.

And the Queen is a very active piece on the chessboard. I have no doubt that Queenie tried to figure out a way to escape and ended up Abstracted because of it. Mh... Since the queen is usually the one who targets the opposing king due to how powerful she is in chess... I wonder if Kinger got attacked by her when she abstracted, leaving him scarred - not so much physically, but definitely mentally.

[ladykailitha]

I saw a post earlier that I want to address, because while it was the most recent (and dumbest) take, it was not the only time I had seen this "problem" crop up.

But before I get there, as always headcanon and let headcanon.

And note to the OP and those who think like them: nothing in a fanfic HAS to be rooted in canon. We all know that Eddie would never work retail, but we do love making him a record store employee/owner, florist, barista. It's called FAN fiction.

You also don't get to decide if Eddie coming back or not until the last credit rolls on the final episode and it fades to black. We all thought Hopper was a goner, and he came back for season 4.

Now, do I have things that take me out of a story, sure. See post here for an example of those things. Or really anything under my #ladykailitha rants tag. But this topic is not one of them.

The topic for today:

Steve staying at Eddie's bedside and "ignoring" Max. Also OP what the fuck do you mean that Steve and Eddie didn't earn devotion for each other? That scene RIGHT before they go after Vecna is FILLED with devotion for each other.

Right, right, breathe. This isn't about whether or not Eddie and Steve had a connection or not. Although...

Maybe, in a way, it does. Maybe that's these people's problem. They didn't see how close two got in such a short time. Their conversation in the forest is very indicative how close they got in the span of less than a week.

But as close as they get, the reason that Steve would be at Eddie's bedside and not Max's boils down to good ole fashion guilt (and that Max would have literally EVERYONE else watching over her.)

Guilt that he didn't have an adult or older kid stay with Max and the Sinclair siblings. Guilt he told Eddie not be a hero when all Eddie had talked about was how he felt like a coward and how shitty it made him feel. Guilt that he let Max be bait. Guilt that he didn't push harder for that one hour! Just think of the things that could have been avoided if they had waited ONE HOUR.

Jason and his goons would found the house, saw it was empty and left. The bats would have dropped dead, leaving Dustin and Eddie safe. El would have been better prepared for Vecna. The cascade of things that would have been better if only they had waited that one hour.

So he can't look at her because he sees his greatest failure. She DIED. El brought her back. But she died. And maybe Eddie died too, but he was brought back through CPR and other medical means. El had bring her back. How can he even be in her presence when it was his fault she was there in the first place?

Conversely with Eddie, he's by his bedside with a nail bat and a mission to keep him safe. He may have been cleared of the murders, but people don't care. They'll try to hurt him. So Steve stands guard. To make sure nothing more happens to the sweet boy who was only trying to help a scared teenager get some relief and got dragged into the Upside Down stuff.

So yeah, there is plenty of reasons for Steve to stay at Eddie's side, but the biggest one? Guilt.

[cartoonrival]

3 15 16 22 smirks

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

ok if im being honest im STILL thinking about ytp/exploding hotdogs inthe micrwave-amy. NO SHE WOULD FUCKING NOTTTTT you guys just think that any girl liking traditionally feminine things automatically = no personality so the only way you can wrap your head around "fixing her" is making her less "girly". im still going to war over what ppl are doing to amy. literally no one on the planet understands amy like i do and shes not even one of my faves. i dont even enjoy understanding her like she's my own daughter i do it like its an obligation like im legally required. i also recently learned that "does naruto having blonde hair and blue eyes mean he's white-coded" is legitimate discourse and i fr think you all need serious help

15. that one thing you see in fanart all the time

ok this is my biggest hater opinion and i KNOWWWW its like unnecessarily pissy so i havent said antyhing abt it until now but i think you might understand me. I DONT LIKE IT WHEN PEOPLE GIVE SHADOW SOME LITTLE THING TO TAKE CARE OF. I DONT LIKE HIS CHAO AND I DONT LIKE [expunged for my and others' safety] AND I DONT LIKE WHEN PEOPLE JUST GIVE HIM CATS. HE CANT TAKE CARE OF LITTLE CREATURES HE DOESNT CARE TO DO THAT HE DOESNT WANT TO HE JUST DOES NOT HAVE THE CARETAKERS SOUL LIKE HES NOT DOING THAT. HES NOT DOING THAT. BUT PPL DRAW IT ALLLLL THE TIMEE.......... IS THERE NO OTHER WAY WE CAN SHOW HIS SOFT SIDE THEN GIVING HIM SOME LITTLE CREATURE. HES NOT DOING THAT SHIT!!!!!!!!!! its so stupid bc its not even like ooc NECESSARILY i mean his chao exists in at least some canons and theres nothing really saying it COULDNT happen and its such a harmless thing to be a hater about BUT I HATE ITTTTTT also when ppl make the hedgehogs wag their tails BE SO SERIOUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

literally every ship with amy. i think you guys just are desperate to ship her w someone. AROACE AMY SWEEP. ASK ME ABOUT MY AROACE AMY AGENDA!!! also i know youve talked about this 1 million times but i cannot fucking stand how the greater fandom talks about scourge bc none of them even KNOW HIM AT ALL and miss literally EVERYTHING that makes his character interesting and fun bc you didnt even READ ARCHIE you just decided to take this one dude out and sand him of everything of note so you can make him a sad little meow meow ToT SONIC HAS PLENTY OF SAD LITTLE MEOW MEOWS CANT A GUY JTSU SUCK??? CANT HE JUST BE A TERRIBLE LOSER? COME ONNNNNNN but ofc you wouldnt understand bc you didnt even READ ARCHIEEEEEE.

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

JULIE SU. JULIE SU. JULIE SU ALWAYS. theres literally so much that could be said and expanded upon w her family and background and not even in the way that canon didnt give her anything at all and you gotta diy everything, shes SUCH A FUN CHARACTER shes so funny and such a jerk and everyone writes her off as "girl knuckles" so fast that they wont even LOOK at how much unique personality she has and how UNIQUE her relationship w knuckles is LIKE.... ken penders actually gave js a fun and unique and dope personality, the FANS are the ones writing her off as girl knuckles. ummmmm its not looking good for you people! and theres the assumption ig that all the romances in archie just suck bc theres sort of a lot of them, obviously i dont like every one COUGHken and sallyCOUGH but like ToT KNUXSU IS SO SO SO GOOD.... THE WAY THEY TALK TO EACH OTHER IS SO GOOD like you guys wipe every characters personality to put them in a ship, then talk about knuxsu as if thats the issue with it and why you dont like it, but. ITS NOT EVEN LIKE THAT. AND IF IT WAS SHOULDNT YOU LIKE THAT SORT OF SLOPim sounding like lorillee rn. QPR KNUXSU AGENDA WILL NEVER DIE

and in the same vein as js, lien da also. ppl just in passing say that either shes hot or shes ugly and no one talks about that creepy as fuck issue where eggman surgically put her back together. that issue was so fucking dope. shes so awesome. i love you lien da you are terrible and i love you.

obviously literally just all of archie. nobody talks about archie. i fucking love archie but everyones too scared. i wish i could make that au

[cringelordofchaos]

Tolkien Black headcanons !!!!!!

Tw for multiple mentions of getting shot

Non-binary + romantically attracted to girls (based on Tupperware character description), pronouns - he/they

A bit of a Math+physics nerd + one of the best students in class (Cartman canonically cheats off of them on tests sometimes)

Has a really healthy and wholesome relationship with their parents + they sometimes either intentionally or unintentionally embarrass him in front of his friends but all in good fun (think of Ninjago Jay's relationship with Ed and Edna for reference)

Bit of a complicated relationship with Nichole (canon but i forgot in which episode it was said, but Nichole told Cartman that she and Tolkien are having some issues in their relationship? But it's not any of Cartmans business) (though he loves her and they even canonically have a picture of them together in his room)

Best friends with Craig, Clyde's a close second

Already mentioned it in my Craig headcanons posts but before Craig got with Tweek he would joke about proposing to Tolkien in the future so he could live off of their and their parents wealth lmao

Most serious/realistic??? out of Craig's gang

Has a bit more goofy / derpy side but is mostly embarrassed by it

Voice cracks in the future come to be the death of him

TW TRAUMA + POLICE BRUTALITY - is still quite distraught from being shot in the arm by a cop (in South ParQ Vaccination Special? Or was it on The Pandemic Special?) and is still distraught from that time his parents were arrested for no reason (in TFBW, where they also constantly targeted him and treated him (a ten year old child) like a threat), especially since most their childhood, like all the other kids, they were told that cops are their friends they can trust! But now he knows he can't trust them and avoids them whenever possible

Friendly

Canonically likes basketball (I like to imagine they sometimes play with Kyle!)

Favorite colour is purple (NO WAYYYY WHO WOULD'VE THOUGHTTTTTT /s)

Canonically feels out of place sometimes because of their family being rich

Sometimes takes the role of "the mom friend" (idk why. based on vibes. screw me)

Cringe TikTok user (canon 😞)

Not too much of a nerd like his dad

Since they actually hate that their name is Tolkien (cuz they don't like JRR Tolkien's books) maybe they change it in the future? I don't know what to though (but sometimes likes Token better)

Kind of understandably tired of everyone's shit

Wendy once said "I've dated him before, he's really nice!" or something like that sooo I take it as canon

Hates Cartman and has every single right to do so (he threw a rock at their head, shot them, and is just a racist asshole all the fucking time to them 😭😭)

But wait - what I don't understand is that they said "all that dungeons and dragons shit is lame" but in the stick of truth (haven't played it, only saw like 2 scenes in it) they were fully on board with playing fantasy? Like -

"THANK YOU FOR THY MESSAGE, TRAVELER! I SHALL MAKE HASTE TO KUPA KEEP!" - that sounds pretty nerdy to me Tolkien. Maybe they DO like nerdy shit but are just embarrassed to be associated with it???????? Idk I'm starting to get confused. Tolkien hyper fans / analysts if you're out there please help me

Canonically plays bass and still has his bass guitar in his room as shown in TFBW

Good person that usually puts others before themselves (like when Cartman told him to "be the bigger person" and tricked him into going over to him and getting shot by him)(still stands his ground and doesn't let people walk over him)

On southparkstudios.com it was said they're good friends with kenny and share struggles related to income (opposite sides of the same coin) so maybe they hang out sometimes. that'd be kinda cool.

Cat person I've decided though I don't think he cares too much abt the dogs vs cats debate

Gifted + talented kid but sometimes might be a perfectionist with overtly high expectations for themselves???????? Idfk what I'm on dude

Good memory

Likes to roleplay

Can't tell if he prefers fiction or nonfiction cuz of stick of truth but also because of the whole hating his name thing Eufhfhfuufnceucb

Ermmmm i think that's it for now Byeeeee god im so cringe

[just-someone-online]

Monster High Headcanons

I haven't finished the diaries yet so some of the G1 headcanons might not fit with them.

G1 Twyla (And maybe G2 and G3? I haven't decided yet) is the Sandman's niece. He's really cool with her, but the last time he saw her dad a fight nearly broke out.

All three versions of Frankie are all trans in some way. Of course, G3 is canonically nonbinary, but G1 is trans and G2 is still figuring things out. What G2 knows for sure though is that she uses she/they pronouns.

All three versions of Clawdeen are gay. G1 Clawdeen specifically is an arospec lesbian.

The only reason Moanica wasn't expelled after Welcome to Monster High is because everyone thought it best to keep her where they could keep an eye on her.

G1 Frankie still has the electrical marks she got towards the end of Freaky Fusion. Likewise, G2 Frankie has their own after the events of Electrified, though they're mostly around her neck. Only time will tell if G3 Frankie ends up with their own.

G1 Twyla has to make a conscious effort not to daydream. If she isn't being careful, her mind will literally wander into someone else's daydream.

Alivia is the president of Monster High's new fearbook committee. Currently, the only other members are Fangelica, Cleo, and Spectra.

G3 Cleo loves human monster movies. They're hardly ever accurate to real life, but that's what makes them fun!

On the other hand, G1 Draculaura can't stand human vampire movies. They almost make the monster made ones look historically accurate.

G2 Spectra is Ari's cousin. Like Ari, she was initially masquerading as a human nearby a news office, then later joined Monster High to start a school newspaper.

G2 Twyla and Frankie are dating! They were all blushy and awkward around each other for weeks until Alivia bluntly told Twyla about how often Frankie said they liked her. Frankie was initially mortified but was thankful that Alivia at least had the sense not to say it in front of the whole school.

After finding out about Halloween, the G2 ghouls absolutely went out into town for the holiday.

Speaking of G2, monsters are kind of an open secret to Normie Town after Electrified. But since the monsters haven't said anything about the zombie attack and they clearly aren't all like Moanica, the humans all pretend they don't know. Well, most of them.

After Werewolf Weekend, Clawdeen ended up giving all of her friends a crash course on humans in case they ever needed to go into human territory.

G3 Twyla and Howleen are dormmates. They're not as close as their G1 counterparts, but they'll get there eventually.

Vampires can use their echolocation in their... I hesitate to say human forms. Anyway, Draculaura once had to use hers during a blackout. It was hell on Clawdeen's ears.

This one is more of a retcon than a headcanon, but G2 Clawdeen only has three younger siblings; Clawd, Howleen, and Pawla. They didn't live in a cave either because what the fuck were the writers thinking with that?

Draculaura was Moanica's gay awakening (And maybe vice versa? It was either Moanica or Ari/Tash), though she would live before she ever admitted it. Like seriously? Of all the ghouls it had to be, why her?

I wouldn't go so far as to say that G1 Draculaura is a neat freak or a germaphobe, but she goes to a lot of trouble keeping her space clean (Y'know, aside from the decade's worth of clothes crammed inside her locker). After nearly dying from the plague before being turned, she really isn't keen on getting sick.

Alivia has a habit of charging her cameras with her head bolts, despite Frankie telling her not to waste her energy on them and just plug them into outlets.

After her parents found out about Alivia, Frankie wasn't allowed in a lab alone for a while. They're happy to have a new daughter, don't get them wrong, but they'd have liked it if Frankie hadn't gone off and made her on their own.

Ghoulia and Elle are Robecca's unofficial guides to the modern world. She's a quick study and currently knows about as much as Frankie or Hoodude, though iCoffins are still a mystery to her.

There's a knockoff brand of iCoffins going around known as iCaskets. They're awful, even worse than normie cell phones. They're expensive as hell and very few monsters have kept theirs intact for longer than three days.

[goldenglock-preacher]

So who, if anyone, is Grisha paired with romantically in the show? Let’s see gifs of those people!

(I don’t know character names yet I’m sorry 😭)

No worries! As you don't really know any of the characters, I will also give like a small synopsis of who they are as people and their relationship dynamic with Grisha, which, hopefully, helps!

I'll put them in order of when they start a canon romantic relationship in the show.

That's gonna be a lot of people so buckle up!

TW: Some sexual topics in general but nothing graphic

Лиля / Lilya

Actress: Анастасия Стежко / Anastasia Stezhko First Appearance: S1 E1 Relationship Start: S1 E1 Occupation: Staff in a sports betting center

This is the first established relationship we see him in. Their relationship seems to be exclusively sexual and Grisha doesn't feel moral obligation to stay loyal (Which is show with characters that just appear for Grisha to have a one night stand with and then never brought up again). Lilya obviously catches deeper feelings that Grisha just doesn't reciprocate. They break-up after Grisha has a breakdown and basically yells that he loves a different woman. There's...not much else sadly, she's pretty surfice-level and exists just to be pretty and show that Grisha is a womanizer. I still like her tho.

Кристина / Kristina

Actress: Софья Каштанова/Sofia Kashtanova First Appearance: S1 E1 Relationship Start: S1 E8 Occupation: Sex worker -> Café co-owner -> Sexologist

I love this woman so much oh my god. Leave Grisha and come with me queen I'll give you everything you want I swear I'll kill for youuuuu.

She's straight up a girlboss. Even as a sex worker, she's established to work without a "pimp" which is, apparently, rare. She's like, canonically beautiful as nearly every guy tried to hit on her or is at least staring at her when she walks into the room. Kristina, of course, pushes these advances away with unwavering confidence.

Her relationship with Grisha is basically one-sided. She has a crush on him and he only considers her a friend. They decide to try being together as something pretty drastic happens to Grisha in the last episode of season 1 and he rethinks his relationships a bit. It doesn't work out though and they stay as friends in the end.

In the context of goldenglock I headcanon that she and John would end up being besties. I can't really explain why...they're just both really confident and attentive. I can see Kristina asking John to act as her man for like a night just so that guys wouldn't bother her. Inviting John to go to spa's together and stuff. Also she will absolutely be the first person to learn about his and Grisha's relationship.

Алёна / Alyona

Actress: Татьяна Бабенкова/Tatyana Babenkova First Appearance: S1 E1 Relationship Start: S2 E8 Occupation: Sports club chain owner -> Café owner

Alyona is often described as sweet and naive which she kinda is at the start but then gets a bit more assertive as time goes by. She still stays as probably the most obviously kind character on the show though. Although they don't end up in a canon relationship for a while, she's his main love interest from the start and they're just pining for each other as she's married for the whole first season. They know each other since university and it seems like Grisha tried to get with her even back then but couldn't get anywhere. Their pining is so obvious, basically everyone around them is like "Wtf are you two doing, you're obviously in love" until they finally decide to go for it.

They have some sexual issues for a bit (Alyona described it as "it's like we're too embarrassed") and then some other drama but it gets resolved.

Grisha stays with Alyona till the end. Even once Grisha left the project, in the canon explanation for him being gone, they're still together. Also Alyona and Kristina end up being really close friends despite their start as, basically, competition for Grisha's heart. Which I think is really sweet.

I ship them so much god help me

Алиса / Alisa

Actress: Рина Гришина / Rina Grishina First Appearance: S3 E4 Relationship Start: S3 E8 Occupation: Police captain

She's quiet unique, honestly. She's his only love interest that is not as feminine as the others and is basically his co-worker. She's commanding, ruthless and knows how to use her delicate appearance to her advantage. She doesn't listen to authority and hits on Grisha openly. She's kind of his mirror, a female embodiment of what he used to be like in season 1 compared to how he "matured" in season 3, which Grisha absolutely hates at first.

Also her father is connected to Grisha's childhood trauma which brings an interesting dynamic to the table.

Their relationship doesn't really last. They fuck after Grisha and Alyona split for a bit and then Grisha regrets it immediately. Alisa kinda tries to hold onto their relationship for a bit longer but Grisha cuts her off as he still loves Alyona.

Honorable mentions:

Women that appeared for like one scene...maybe the writers didn't care about you but I do

[giantchasm]

Hello. May you like to share any recent Susie-isms on your brain 👁👁

(Or any Kirby blorbo honestly. I just like your character vibes)

OUUUGHHHH. SUSIE MY FRIEND SUSIE. SHE'S EVERYTHING TO ME.

(Sorry this answer is a few days late, but I really do have a lot of thoughts about her)

Recently I've been thinking abt her relationship w mechanization a lot recently. I know it's left ambiguous in canon whether or not she's actually part machine, but she's suuuuch a robotgirl to me.

This bitch has a microchip in her brain and mechanical hands and big scary LED eyes. But also they're kinda cute and when she's choosing how to get dressed up every day she can decide on different colors and even symbols like hearts in her eyes to match whatever cute and/or unhinged vibe she's going for.

She's only part robot, but sometimes she wishes she were all robot. Life would be easier if she was perfect and unfeeling and cold and didn't make mistakes. But sadly she can't fully mechanize herself because then "She'd effectively die," and while she sometimes wonders if that would be for the best (Replacing herself with a better version of herself and all), she knows it would unfortunately make her friends sad.

Even though she's not a real robot she uses it/its pronouns sometimes and has an acronym picked out for what S.U.S.I.E allegedly stands for because she likes feeling like a machine anyways.

She has a complicated relationship with her robotics sometimes because for a long time she was convinced they made her superior to everyone else, but now that she's learning that's not true and that mechanization was apparently "a horrific thing to do to people," she occasionally wonders if people see her as some kind of freak.

But she tries not to think about it! She's better than everyone else, OK? She has to believe that. Or else she'll spiral.

Although most of her is mechanical and because of that she can't feel super well, one of her hands is still flesh and secretly she likes it when people hold it.

She thinks about her dad a lot. Her relationship with him is soooo complicated. Sometimes she hates him, but she misses him just as much. There's so much anger mixed in with crushing sadness. She wonders if he'd despise her for everything she did. She can't really blame him. She despises him too. Doesn't make it any easier, though. And so she just. Tries not to think about it. And fails.

Taranza (He's her best friend, ok?) tells her it's okay to let herself grieve and process those complicated feelings, but that's not always easy for her. She doesn't even know where to begin.

She's a loser. An unhinged, emotionally damaged wreck of a woman. Someone in the fandom as of late has taken to referring to her as 'Losie' and they're so right. I need less content of Susie actually being a girlboss and more content of Susie desperately trying to pretend to be a girlboss while actually just barely pretending to cling to her sanity with her fingernails.

Susie's interesting to me in that she like. Wears a mask on top of a mask. She pretends to be this honestly pretty nice silly cutesy unbothered chick to people she doesn't know well, but in 'reality,' she sees herself as this realistic, unbothered, cynical and strong person. But she's not that either. She's fooling even herself. Deep down, what Susie is is a scared, angry, sad little girl. Like she's not a little girl anymore-- she's a grown woman, but she'll always be the same scared little girl who got lost in Another Dimension. And she hates that fact. So she won't acknowledge it.

Funfact: in my headcanons when she first started going by 'Susie' it was when she initially got back from Another Dimension. After being forced to confront the fact that her dad didn't recognize her and being mechanized to join the company, she decided that the old Susanna was dead and she was someone new. Someone who would never cry again. She's not, but it's nice to pretend.

I also like to think she literally can't cry anymore-- LED eyes and all. Doesn't mean she doesn't want to sometimes, though.

She hates it when anyone calls her Susanna. Except Taranza. He can get away with it occasionally.

He, Magolor, Kirby and the Mage Sisters are her closest friends. She doesn't really like to admit it, but they're her buddies... even if there was some strife between her and the Mage Sisters at one point (I wrote a whole fic about this. I'm working on making it presentable to upload)

She pretends she doesn't like Magolor, but she does. See: this idea I came up with the other night and still can't get off my mind.

But then after that they pretend they didn't have a moment. NO, Kirby. You DIDN'T find them quivering and holding hands. Shut up.

Susie is weirdly liked amongst her employees. She's not even that good of a boss. Like she's a cold, calculating bitch. But after Star Dream shut down a lot of the technology that kept mechanized people functioning and alive started shutting down and she fixed all of the Haltworkers one by one. She didn't think anything of it-- she was just trying not to lose valuable workers, which would be a stupid waste of money, but now they love her. I think more than anything she just seems like an okay boss in comparison because Haltmann was so hilariously mean to his employees when in reality she's still pretty draconian.

She's trying to do better now, though! She's learning to care about 'ethics.'

When she was 7 years old and before she experienced the horrors she read Space Warrior Cats. Space Warrior Cats is exactly like real Warrior Cats except every character has 'Space' in front of their name (I.E. "Space Firestar.)

I love this hot pink bitch named breakfast.

[a-wynterwonderland]

Since Bungou Stray Dogs season 4 is right around the corner and as a manga reader, the heights of the Hunting Dogs weighs heavier on my mind. Without official profiles of them it's hard to tell, and we can only infer based on panels we've seen.

This post has probably been done by others before but hey - let me have a crack at it.

So out of the Hunting Dogs, the height we know for a fact is Tachihara, at 176 cm (5'9). When he's standing in front of Jouno, we can clearly see Jouno is a few inches taller than him

Chapter 71

So that would have to make Jouno 6'0, right? The hats make things a little difficult.

Well... earlier in the manga, we saw Jouno standing next to Dazai -

Chapter 57

Knowing that Dazai is canonically 5'11" (181 cm), Jouno seems to be shorter. This would complicate the theory that Jouno is 6'0", because if he were, he should be taller than Dazai. It would be barely noticeable, sure, but if we add a simple red line we could see the difference.

Unless Jouno is standing somewhat away from Dazai, that could probably explain it.

The anime also complicates matters

I know I know Bones changes shit a lot - but I'm going to use this screenshot anyway

Jouno looks 5'11", or 5'10 ½.

So... continuity issue? Or perhaps, since chapter 57 was Jouno's debut, Harukawa could have simply had trouble depicting a new character. No shame in that - as an artist myself, I too change my characters when I decide I like something better. If I were to compare my first ever drawing of one of my OCs vs my latest, there would be a staggering difference.

If Jouno actually is 6'0" tall, that would mean Tecchou would have to be over 6 feet. Again, if Jouno is 6'0", that would mean that Tecchou is probably around 6'3"? When he's standing next to Jouno, we can clearly see a difference in height

Chapters 60 & 71

So Tecchou is definitely over 6'0".

Also that would have to make Fukuchi over 7'0" tall and Teruko (in her child form) at around 4'5", in my opinion. I mean look how tiny she is compared to everyone else above, and Jouno here:

Chapter 71

So yeah. Really small, but honestly what did you expect from her "child form"?

As for Teruko's adult form... I honestly have no idea. We didn't see it for long and she didn't stand next to anyone, if I'm remembering correctly. Hard to say - I'll leave that one up to personal headcanons until we get an actual confirmation. I can't really imagine her being suuuper tall, though.

With all that, my rough estimate and headcanons for the Hunting Dogs' heights (minus Tachihara, as he's canonically 5'9") would be: Teruko at 4'5" in child form (maybe even shorter?) Jouno at 6'0" Tecchou at 6'3" And, Fukuchi at over 7'0"

But hey, we won't know until Asagiri and Harukawa give us their profiles. ... Which I hope is soon, because the curiosity is killing me.

Also the shipper in me demands Suegiku height difference because IT'S CUTE. Asagiri PLEASE give them a canonical height difference, that's all I ask. Please.

... This may or may not have been a rehash of what others have said, but whatever. This is mostly for my little writer/artist brain.

Anyway, thus ends my ramble. If you have anything else to add or maybe your headcanons, don't hesitate to tell me! I would love to see it and discuss. ♡♡

[singswan-springswan]

Batfam brainrot said imagine a Hunger Games AU for them and I have little self control so now I'm thinking about it. Which is tricky. Because I'm not very familiar with the DC cast at large. Things I headcanon:

Tim is the tribute of interest. He's reaped despite his name only being entered once, and it's kind of a quiet political scandal, but no one really makes a fuss because his parents suck.

Bruce is Tim's mentor. Can't decide if he's from the Capital or not and serves as a mentor after volunteering to go to the districts or something something administrative bs maybe he actually is from the districts and is a victor

Dick is definitely a past victor in the same district---I'm thinking District 1 because aren't they supposed to be fancy and stuff? Fits with both the glamor of the circus for Dick and the wealth of people like Bruce and the Drakes (full disclosure my knowledge of the Panem verse is limited to stuff from fics and the movies and personal curiosity research) Dick is highly desired by Capital Folk for his physical beauty and alluring charm and yet very exclusive as far as prostitution goes because Dick resists tooth and nail as much as he dares behind the scenes. Also Bruce does everything in his power to help, which sadly isn't much since the system is rigged but it's better than the alternative

Don't let Dick's pretty face and sunshine smile fool you; he won his games through unconventional brutality. He's a lethal fighter and one kriff of a detective, while we're at it. Definitely a huge asset to the rebellion

Of course Tim knows that Dick Grayson and his famous father Bruce Wayne are part of some rebellion against the Capital. He's not snitching. He thinks it's cool. He asks to be part of it when he's reaped, and the predatory tension in Grayson's toothy grin would mean less beside Bruce's stormy scowl if the rebellion hadn't gotten Jason killed two years ago. Tim knows about that too. He knows it's a big deal, but he's probably going to die anyway so he might as well help out in the few weeks before then.

The Joker was gamemaker the year of Jason's death. Idk exactly why he ended up being a tribute because surely at that point Bruce has adopted him. Maybe he volunteers for a kid who's like twelve and has no one, and Jason figures he stands a solid chance because he's been training for years and also his family is the Waynes, but the Joker ends up killing him violently and horrifically and a lot of people grieve across the country. No one expected Jason to be killed. Die, maybe, but not be killed. The Joker's the only one who finds the whole thing entertaining. He disappears soon thereafter without a trace (Dick and Friends commit murder).

What no one knows, however, is that Talia saves Jason's body from the arena and resurrects it with the help of her father by the time Tim's game rolls around. Jason is broken and beaten and lost and confused and full of rage. His only comfort is knowing his family avenged his death. Under Talia's guidance, he continues training, though he must keep his identity secret from everyone, including his dad and brother. This version of Jason isn't as antagonistic as canon and actually works to help the rebellion as a secret agent/informant once his time with Talia is over. He's ruthless. Does lots of crimes. His combatant training, calloused mind, and the freak detective skills instilled by his father make for a deadly combination, and he begins to operate as an urban legend within the Capital, collecting every dirty secret every political corruption and the long list of quiet atrocities to use against those in charge later on, leaving a bloody trail of bodies in his wake. Talia couldn't be more proud. As part of the rebellion, Bruce is grateful for the intel this anonymous source provides, but a little unnerved by the methods everyone knows (but can't prove) he's using to get it.

The Al Ghul's and the League of Assasins can just be the government's enforcers. Talia specifically is in charge of training the tributes before the games, so it makes sense for her and Bruce to cross paths occassionally. They're tentative allies. She's not necessarily a rebel, but she is a little bit in the loop and is content to see where the chips fall either way. Damian is raised in semi-secret. Obviously no one knows he's the son of the reknowned Bruce Wayne, but he does publicly exist, if barely. Talia would have sent him to the career academy if she wanted her son anywhere near the games. She doesn't. She and her father can train him just as well without the dead end that path leads down. Besides, he's the child of her beloved as well, and she wants Bruce to know the kid past eighteen.

Steph might be one of the other tributes in the same game as Tim. They become fast friends and she almost instantly worms her way into the rebellion. It gives Bruce a bajillion gray hairs because now he only has two weeks to figure out how to get them both out alive and the star crossed lovers thing hasn't worked ever but faking someone's death is twice as complicated and he's pretty sure Tim could only sit still long enough if he passed out from caffeine overdose. Then Duke is there too with them big ole eyes and sometimes the lights glow brighter in the room when he walks in and Bruce is getting too old for this.

Cass is a mutt created by the Capital. She's originally used as a weapon to eliminate perceived enemies of the state, etc etc and honed into a living weapon. Somewhere along the way she finds Bruce when he's doing Spy Stuff or something and he survives her assassination attempt and decides yeah okay always down for another kid, disregarding the fact that she may or may not be human exactly and doesn't appear to have any experience actually being human. It's okay though. Dick's teaching her how to dance. She might not know what language is yet, but she's learning to dance and that might be better anyway.

Tim's game very nearly goes to kriff because Bruce almost can't fake everyone's death in time, and if he wasn't able to pull it off, he and Clark and Selina and Diana and a bunch of other people were fully prepared to storm the arena and shut it down themselves to save the kiddos. But it's okay they made it to the end. Tim enjoys being legally dead a lot more than might be healthy and everyone is grateful he's on their side. Who "wins" that year's game? Maybe Kon. Bart's fake death was really dramatic and Dick laughed the whole time he was watching. Duke is convinced the leaked radiation from his faked death gave him super powers. It's all Bruce can do to make him not test that theory in the most unhinged dangerous chaotic way possible.

It isn't until the quarter quell or whatever that the rebellion breaks containment. Previous victors are reaped so Dick is thrown back into the wringer despite public outrage hehe. Barbara can be there too. I'm thinking she's from district 3 because tek and she and Tim can be hacker buddies. She was paralyzed by her game. Maybe sprinkle in some Roy, possibly Titans and a token Slade for goofs and giggles. Naturally, half these people are part of the rebellion. The rest definitely know about it. There are riots. They blow up the arena. Whoopsies, started a war.

It isn't until the batfam relocates to district 13 that Jason is revealed to be alive. I'm imagining them narrowly escaping the chaos in the Capital, bruised and battered, bunkering down in this secret forgotton part of their country and then Jason's just sitting in the cafeteria sipping coffee reading Hamlet. He looks just as startled to see them there as they are to find him. His boots are muddy on the table. No one else in for military rations seems to pay that any mind. Tim's pulling out his mobile blood toxicity test kit to check for hallucinagens in their systems by the time Jason works up the brain function to sip his coffee again. "Sup Dad" He says casually, because he's a little piece of crap.

I think Bruce faints.

the funniest part is that Jason's been keeping tabs on his family ever since etering the field full time, so he knows them all very intimately but keeps forgetting he's never actually met some of his new siblings so sometimes they go really still staring at him like they're talking to a ghost and he gets snippy about it before he remembers. Damian's the only one who knew Jason was alive and doing his own rebel thing because Jason taught him how to read when he was still training with Talia but Damian never mentioned it because "no one ever asked" (read: he's also a little piece of crap)

not really sure who the president would be. Idk if there are any villains down to earth enough that could reasonably fit the bill but also be general enough to account for all the other heroes not included in the batfam ie the supers and wonders and lanterns martians and everyone in between. Anyway the point is that that loser (or maybe group of losers; i wouldn't be opposed to an oligarchy dictatorship) is going down by the power of family and friendship. The rebels win because they have more fun. Good for them we stan some quality shenanigans

No one we like dies

Alfred makes everyone cookies