#i really and truly hope he had an incredible treat time

[iseetheisland]

Earlier I was at the shop to get myself a treat and this super friendly guy was chatterin toward me and another person and I really need to share the last part of this conversation as accurately as I can.

Guy: "we are all here in this place at this time for the same reason, you know?"

Me (squeeky): "yummy treat?"

Guy (serious tone): "my, my, my, yes. And in these times, we all need it. A reliable joy at the end of our troubled days."

Me (even squeekier): "it's treat time!"

Guy: "amen! Amen?"

Third person who seems tired and not into treats: (confused mumbling, clearly trying to not be included in this)

Me: "amen!"

[irndad]

don't date coworkers- s.r.

a/n: i literally wrote this very fast and also i hope you like it pls go easy on me!!! reader has a policy they don't date coworkers. spencer is so angsty abt that !! also sorry for dropping a new fic at 2am LOL wc: 1.7k

She’s really, really good at talking to people. 

It’s one of the many traits Spencer adores about her. She moves through crowds with ease, and she can charm her way into any piece of information from whatever city cop they need a favor from. She integrated into the team faster than anyone could’ve expected. This is a strength not all profilers have- they know what it takes to know what makes someone appealing, but rare is the ability to be as charismatic and charming as she is. 

She’s good at talking to him.

She’s worked at the BAU for about a year now. 13 months, 7 days and 8 hours since she walked through the doors of the bullpen for the first time, beaming at him for the very first time. Give or take. 

Spencer wouldn’t be surprised if everyone knew that he was in love with her. He’s halfway certain she does, and is being too polite to mention it. Normally, Spencer is incredibly regimented about boundaries. While the BAU is his family, and there’s no real way to deny that, he knows that he’s less than ideal to go out with. He’s stocky and he never cuts his hair (even though she swears it’s cute longer) and he’s an awkward guy- gangly and tall and just ill-fitting to be part of the scenery of her life. 

It’s a Friday, and a rainy one at that. It’s one of the blessed ones where they don’t really have a case, just paperwork to catch up on, reports and her desk faces a window. 

Normally, when Spencer gets his work done (a good four hours before everyone else on a paperwork-only day), he’d head out. Catch up on whatever Russian novel he’s been chipping away at- but she’s here, and he’s made her favorite tea. 

“I thought you could use a treat,” he says, walking over to her desk. She looks up at him, brushing overgrown bangs, “It’s not really a great one, but I’ll get you some scones on the way to mine, yeah?”

She looks up at him, dropping her pen and focusing entire energy on him. He feels a bit overwhelmed, like an ant under a magnifying glass. 

“Did you know that I adore you, Spence?” 

He is very much not aware. No amount of her saying it will ever make him know. She takes a long sip from the mug. He knows how much honey she likes in it. He studies how she looks, eyes closed serenely, completely invested in what he’s given her. 

“You’ll be taking her home, pretty boy?” Morgan snickers, in a not altogether unkind manner. 

“Fuck off,” she says kindly, not taking her eyes off of Spencer as she rebuffed Morgan’s teasing. 

“Easy, easy,” Morgan laughs, “I’ll leave your boyfriend alone.”

If she has anything to say to that, it doesn’t come out then. 

He’s still bright red, though. Morgan is amused, and Spencer knows that she really, truly adores Morgan. Spencer loves him too, but it would be nice if he laid off the jokes. 

She doesn’t date coworkers. 

He knows this because of the first time they’d met, when he’d been walking in carrying a croissant for Garcia and a coffee for JJ, and saw what can only be described as a truly ridiculously beautiful woman in the bullpen. 

She’d been leaned back, smiling openly as Morgan tossed some random pick-up line towards her. He remembers it now like he can still hear it, her lilting lovely voice carrying just the right amount of warmth to make this not sting, or at least sting as little as possible. 

“I’m sorry, Derek,” she had said, “I make it a point not to date coworkers.” 

Which of course is fine. She can date whoever she wants, and it’s a good policy to have personally. And Spencer’s never really be the kind of guy who excelled at getting dates. He knew from the first minute that he saw her that even if she didn’t think that way… well, it wouldn’t be him, who she picked. 

Now, they are very close. So close that she drives him home from work every Friday. Which usually includes staying at his shitty apartment and watching VHS tapes of documentaries and Doctor Who. 

He wants to kiss her every Friday. All, the time, really. It’s kind of plaguing him. Clearly, she likes hanging out with him. Something about him is appealing. It’s foolish to assume that it’s more than friends, especially for someone like him to be with someone like her. 

She doesn’t date coworkers. 

“I made sure the film tonight has subtitles!”

“Are you saying film because this film is foreign, Spence?”

“I promise it’s worth it!” He says excitedly, “And they’re really done well. You won’t have to have me whisper the translations to you in real time!”

“I didn’t mind that,” She laughs then, a real laugh, “but I’m glad we’re getting to hang out tonight.”

It’s funny- they’ve done this so, so many times, but he never stops being thrilled. 

___________________________________

Sometimes, when the summer air is forgiving enough, they walk home from the office. She takes the train in, and they walk back to his place. Tonight is one of these nights, and god- she looks lovely. She’s tied her blazer around her waist, and the sunset hits her face in that gorgeous baroque painting kind of way. 

“You’re very pretty,” he hears himself say before he can stop it. He’s endlessly pleased when she preens at the praise. 

“You’re not so bad yourself, Doctor,” she says, shoving her hands into her pockets, a nervous gesture. He wants to hold those hand, intertwine her lovely delicate fingers with his bony wispy fingers. 

“You’re being nice to me,” he says, looking down at his shoes. They’re stupid. He should wear loafers, or some other shoe that doesn’t make him like half-child half-geek. 

“I’m being accurate, actually,” she says she bumps his shoulder. 

She’d be a wonderful girlfriend. He lives in the world this can happen quite often, in his fantasy. She laughs at his jokes and tells him he’s kind, and good, and she means it. He’s lucky to have this much of her- more than anyone else on the team! Spencer knows he’s her favorite. The way she’s looking at him now, how she give-up her Fridays to spend with him, on his ratty couch, how she always listens. Whenever they're both on the jet and he falls asleep, he always wakes up with a blanket on him. She's so good at loving people.

Being her favorite on the team does not mean he’s in the running to be a boyfriend. But he’d fucking want to be. He’d be a good boyfriend. Spencer, he’s gone so far for her. He fantasizes about getting her flowers that have symbolic meaning.

“Are you okay, boy-genius?”

“I’m better than okay. Do you want popcorn?”

She wants popcorn. He sets the movie up, and she gets comfortable on his couch, curling up with his purple felt blanket, and his mind betrays him with unhelpful images of what it might look like if she was his, if this is what he came home to. 

Don't picture welcome home kisses, or movie nights or being wanted. Don't.

It’s very, very hard to focus on the movie.  

She’s touchy, with him. He’s not sure if it’s because she could never see him as her boyfriend, but he’s grateful as she leans her head on his. She smells like peonies. When the credits roll, they stay like that for minute- her head on his shoulder and one of her legs thrown over his. 

He wonders, not for the first time, if she feels the same way about him. If things were just..different, then they’d be kissing under the haze of his TV right now, if he’d know what that chapstick she carries with her every day tastes like. 

“Do you ever wonder what it’d be like if we met under different circumstances?” he says, once time passes and he speaks instead of thinking.

“Hmm?” She hummed, relaxed eyes flitting their gaze over to him.

“Like, at a bar or something.”

“But you hate bars.”

“That’s why I said or something!”

Her lip juts out adorably, “But then I wouldn’t get to see you in your element.”

“Yeah,” he sighs, resting his neck on the top of the cushion. The AC is a little too much in the room. He wonders if she’s cold. “But who knows. Maybe we’d date, or something.”

It’s the dumbest thing he’s ever fucking said. Both because it was a dumb way to say it, but because it was an advance. He feels white hot shame lick at his spine when he looks at her, and hears her laugh. 

“I don’t think so, Spence.” 

“No,” shitshitshit, “I didn’t mean-“

“I mean, if you don’t want to date me now, I don’t think meeting at like, Whole Foods would’ve been the difference maker.”

It’s then he hears it- the piece he couldn’t place in her voice, when she gets like this. It’s being resigned. 

“What are you talking about?”

“C’mon, Spence,” she says, another bitter chuckle coming through, “You know how I feel. I haven’t exactly beens subtle.”

“But you don’t date coworkers. You have a rule.”

She looks at him with no recognition of what he’s saying. 

“No, because you told Morgan that, it’s the first thing I ever heard you say.”

“Yeah, but-“

“And yes, okay, you’ve been my favorite person almost as long as I’ve known you and yes, I would fucking love for you to be my girlfriend, but that was your rule!”

“You want me to be your girlfriend?”

“Obviously!”

He doesn’t get the chance to say anything else before, well- before she’s kissing him. More aggressive than that, really. Crawled onto his lap, arms around his neck, and where she leads Spencer is all too happy to follow. His body is not great at moving on instinct, but his whole nervous system feels alive- the weight of her in his lap, the feel of her waist under his fingers, the way he’s allowed this. It feels like such a pleasure, hedonistic in a way he’s never, ever been allowed to experience.

“You had a rule,” he says dumbly when she pulls away. His lips are wet. He’d like to go back to kissing, thank you very much. 

“You’re the exception, to every rule, Spencer.”

When he kisses her again (which he’s allowed to do now, holy fuck) Spencer decides he’s going to spend the rest of all time earning that status. 

[thecapricunt1616]

Orchid - (c.b. one-shot)

𝓑𝓵𝓾𝓻𝓫 (𝓜𝓸𝓻𝓮 𝓑𝓣𝓒): “How many girlfriends did you have when you were gone?” You asked. His fingers stopped momentarily, before continuing “What is considered a girlfriend?” He asked, causing you to giggle and shake your head a bit in amusement. Carmy, ever the emotionally unintelligent.  “A girl, who you really like, that you hang out with a lot and go on dates with and like…have sex with” you said the last part a tad shy. You felt his chest rumble in a chuckle behind you and your head snaps to the side to look at him “why are you laughing!?” You asked and he shrugged a bit, twirling the ends of your curls around his fingers  “None- but I did have a few one night stands when it came about. Why? We havin’ a competition?” He teased. You felt your cheeks get hot and you shook your head, laughing a bit  “I’d lose every time. I’ve never done anything. Well- we kiss. Like- now. But I’ve only been on a few dates but like…the other night on your couch you’re the only person I’ve done that kissing with.. that’s the most intense thing I’ve done like - ever - my…y’know was like really…” you blushed  Really, really fucking wet.  Carmen’s heart begins to race in his chest oh. Oh-  You’d meant earlier in the week, after 2 glasses of wine, you told Carmen he was ‘pretty when he smokes even though you hate it cause it’s bad for his lungs’ and that ended up in a kiss that turned sloppy, then it turned in to two kisses, then three- then it ended up being an entire make out session where you were pathetically squirming and rubbing your thighs together to get some kind of friction.  He vividly remembered it, he didn’t know you were a fucking virgin. Fuck. This information was going to ruin him.  “So you- you’ve never made out with someone and fuckin’ humped their leg like that before?” He teased boldly, causing you to gasp and hit his bicep playfully.  “Carmy! Humped your leg?! What am I- a dog?” You laughed and he wrapped his strong arm around your waist, easily pinning you to the couch and holding your arms veheath you with little effort and one arm.  “Mm-‘mmm- like a cat in heat, you’re like a little horny kitten” he said huskily in your ear and chuckled when you squirmed finally letting go and you sat up, flustered and incredibly turned on, but still too stubborn to let him know he had such control over you.  “Stop it. Not fair you have all these girls running you down. Do French girls really walk around topless?” You asked and he laughed shaking his head  “I’d have stayed in France if I got to look out my window and see tits all day. No they do not, but the nude beach thing is real. I just didn’t go because you kinda have to participate” he chuckles and you laughed imagining him trying to hide a boner at a beach.  “So your one night stands…what is it like? Sex?”  He was going to go fucking insane.

♡ 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐈𝐧𝐬𝐩𝐨: In the spiritual world, orchids can symbolize the search for truth, the ability to appreciate life's beauty, and the courage to be different. They can also evoke a sense of tranquility and inner peace, and In Irish culture, orchids can symbolize beauty, luxury, honor, dignity, and spiritual grace. ♡ 𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: Carmy is your childhood best friend, after he comes home & opens 'The Bear' you both realize you may have been hiding mutual feelings for eachother. ♡ 𝐖/𝐂: 10.1k+ (of mostly smut) ♡ 𝐀/𝐍: Hello all! Firstly this is DC to my AMAZING, SMART, WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL FRIEND @carmenberzattosgf ohhh Olive, this is the first time i'm writing you one of my proper novellas & I hope it is a lovely treat after all of your hard work after your test! This is a slight Self Insert for miss Olive, but can still be read as an x reader fic! I truly am proud of this smut & hope you love it Olive!!! 'olive'you to the moon and to saturn hehehe xoxoxo - Capri ♡ 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐁𝐓𝐂:SMUT SMUT AND MORE SMUT, Childhood best friend trope, no use of y/n, r is called pet names like kitten, bunny, squish, size kink, squirting, overstim, dom!carmy, unprotected sex, p in v sex, AFAB reader, virgin!reader, corruption kink Carmy, aftercare, not edited (we die like bears. Pretend it’s perfect, ok?!)

♡ 𝐌𝐲 𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬 ♡ ➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡ ➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐲 𝐨𝐧𝐞-𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐚𝐠𝐞 ♡ ➵ 𝘊𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 / 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘵 ♡ ➵ 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 ♡

You and Carmy had known each other for quite a few years. You were one grade below him, and in middle school, you became close. Every student was forced to join a club for some stupid reason, and you chose ‘reading club’.

To be expected, When you walked in, it was just a room where kids sat for an hour every Monday, Wednesday, and  Friday last period and read books silently. Carmy was sat in the back corner desk reading a Deadpool Vol. 2 comic book, so you plopped in the desk next to him and took out out a The Walking Dead comic. 

He looked a bit surprised, at first, but after 2 weeks of this he cleared his throat and nodded towards your comic

“Those uh…those any good?” He asked. His voice was soft, a bit higher than other guys in his grade. Your friendship blossomed from there, and all the way through high school. 

After he graduated, though, and left you for your senior year- he ended up drifting apart from you. You weren’t sure if it was because you were busy with school during the day or what- but he stopped calling as often. 

After Mikey died, though, and he came back to Chicago - naturally he leaned on you once again for support since you were one of his closest friends growing up. So over the past year, you two had once again became two peas in a pod. 

You helped with the restaurant renovations when he needed, also made sure to be a shoulder to cry on for him. He appreciated you more than you knew, and was surprised when he came back after all of this time and you were even more beautiful then when he left - if that was even possible at all. He had a crush on you when you were younger, but had so much anxiety that he thought he’d be labeled a perv or a weirdo if he was known to date a girl younger than him. 

Today you were sat on his couch, watching some cheesy Halloween Disney movie that you had insisted on watching because you couldn’t stand horror movies yet ‘still wanted to feel the fall spirit bear!’ To which he groaned and said it was still only the end of August. 

You were comfortably sat between his legs on his old couch you’d asked a million times why he hadn’t gotten rid of as he carefully thread his fingers through your hair. Suddenly, a question started bouncing around your mind that you realized you’d never asked the question to. 

You hadn’t really asked Carmy much about his time away from Chicago, you’d figured that if he was so desperate to leave home and didn’t even tell you there had to be a reason why, so even touching the topic seemed strange feeling to you. But you asked anyways

“How many girlfriends did you have when you were gone?” You asked. His fingers stopped momentarily, before continuing

“What is considered a girlfriend?” He asked, causing you to giggle and shake your head a bit in amusement. Carmy, ever the emotionally unintelligent. 

“A girl, who you really like, that you hang out with a lot and go on dates with and like…have sex with” you said the last part a tad shy. You felt his chest rumble in a chuckle behind you and your head snaps to the side to look at him “why are you laughing!?” You asked and he shrugged a bit, twirling the ends of your curls around his fingers 

“None- but I did have a few one night stands when it came about. Why? We havin’ a competition?” He teased. You felt your cheeks get hot and you shook your head, laughing a bit 

“I’d lose every time. I’ve never done anything. Well- we kiss. Like- now. But I’ve only been on a few dates but like…the other night on your couch you’re the only person I’ve done that kissing with.. that’s the most intense thing I’ve done like - ever - my…y’know was like really…” you blushed 

Really, really fucking wet. 

Carmen’s heart begins to race in his chest oh. Oh- 

You’d meant earlier in the week, after 2 glasses of wine, you told Carmen he was ‘pretty when he smokes even though you hate it cause it’s bad for his lungs’ and that ended up in a kiss that turned sloppy, then it turned in to two kisses, then three- then it ended up being an entire make out session where you were pathetically squirming and rubbing your thighs together to get some kind of friction. 

He vividly remembered it, he didn’t know you were a fucking virgin. Fuck. This information was going to ruin him. 

“So you- you’ve never made out with someone and fuckin’ humped their leg like that before?” He teased boldly, causing you to gasp and hit his bicep playfully. 

“Carmy! Humped your leg?! What am I- a dog?” You laughed and he wrapped his strong arm around your waist, easily pinning you to the couch and holding your arms veheath you with little effort and one arm. 

“Mm-‘mmm- like a cat in heat, you’re like a little horny kitten” he said huskily in your ear and chuckled when you squirmed finally letting go and you sat up, flustered and incredibly turned on, but still too stubborn to let him know he had such control over you. 

“Stop it. Not fair you have all these girls running you down. Do French girls really walk around topless?” You asked and he laughed shaking his head 

“I’d have stayed in France if I got to look out my window and see tits all day. No they do not, but the nude beach thing is real. I just didn’t go because you kinda have to participate” he chuckles and you laughed imagining him trying to hide a boner at a beach. 

“So your one night stands…what is it like? Sex?” 

He was going to go fucking insane. 

“Uhhh-“ he feels blood rushing to his cock and casually rested his hand over his lap to conceal it “like- well f’me it’s different. But girls…well. Good- a lot of the girls I’ve been with say it feels good because it feels…complete. Like, full, like that’s how they wanna feel all the time. Which I mean when I’m fucking their pussy I could probably say the same but I guess that’s the best way to explain it. Full” he shrugged a bit, grabbing the throw pillow now and resting it over his lap as his explanation had his mind racing with each and every thing he wanted to show you. 

“Full” you repeated. Maybe that’s what you were missing. You had tried sticking your fingers inside once or twice but it never felt good, so you didn’t understand why other people would say it felt so good. The only thing that you found good oh, so good. Was rubbing your clit. 

Thinking about it being carmys hands other then your own made you get to this point where your toes would curl and legs would shake, it felt like fireworks. It always ended with your hips and said little twitching. Sometimes you realized if you went for too long, it would pulse. 

“Ye’ - have you ever tried anything yourself?” He asked, swallowing thickly after the question. He couldn’t lie, the only thing saving his dignity was the small throw pillow he had basically glued to his crotch with his hand. His cock was suffocating, painfully hard and throbbing against the confines of his vintage Levi jeans. 

“Oh yeah- yeah. It just… it’s never good I dunno maybe I don’t know how to do it right or something” you said, oblivious to the fact of what him holding that pillow even meant.  “Why don’t I show you so you can make yourself feel good, mmm? It’s a good thing to know, I’ll help you out ,  wouldn’t want you missin’ out, princess”

That’s how tonight started. Now, you were on your back on Carmy’s bed, completely bare, he was fucking coaching you on how to touch yourself. “So- show me how you start” he was sat in front of you, full view of your pussy. Your cheeks hadn’t ever felt hotter, but your mind was buzzing with excitement none the less. 

“Uh- like, well, whenever I try to put in a finger or something it hurts, so I just…” you spread your thighs wider, putting a bit of spit on your fingers before beginning to rub at your clit in slow, gentle circles. You took a deep breath at the pleasure it brought, meanwhile Carmy was watching your every move with a lustful gaze. His usually icy blue eyes were currently the blue of the midnight sky, lit with the dancing northern lights of being the first person to see you, to get the potential to deflower you. 

“How’s it feel?” he questioned. His voice was husky but soft, laced with honeyed desire. If he was any less than strictly disciplined, the sight of his childhood crush laying in front of him, spread out like something from a high school dream of his, touching herself - the prospect that she’d waited for him - he’d be mounting you like a fucking dog - but, the gentleman he was, he just watched, clutching the blankets at his sides to stop his trembling anticipatory hands.

“It- uh” you giggle nervously, “good - I um… I feel myself getting really wet I don’t wanna ruin your sheets did you wanna grab like…a towel-”

“No- no. That's fine, that's- that’s the fun of it. I love that, make a mess please make a mess, sweetheart. That's how I know you’re feeling good” he explained quickly. You swallowed thickly and nod, still feeling a bit weary on just allowing yourself to make a mess of his sheets, but if he really didn’t mind…

On the other hand Carmy literally had to squeeze his cock through the confines of his jeans so that he could ease the throb that was happening. As you nodded in agreement to his statement, moving your middle and ring finger around your clit a bit faster, adding a bit more pressure, he nearly groaned as your jaw fell slightly slack, letting out the prettiest little breathy whine he’d ever heard in his life. 

Your back arched in the most sensual way, your eyes fluttering shut and he took the opportunity to get his jeans unbuttoned and unzipped, sighing at the great relief of pressure that was imprisoning his cock and resting back on one hand as he watched you, biting his bottom lip as you reached your other hand up and grabbed at your breast, gently tugging at your nipple and whining gently. 

“And uh-  this- I like this - feels good” your eyes fluttered open as you explained and he nodded quickly, as if he was taking mental notes of every single thing you said and did, and storing it in a file folder of his brain. 

“Yeah? Has anyone ever sucked on y’tits before, princess?” he asked in that soft, low way. He knew the answer to the question, of course he knew the fucking answer - you’d admitted to him that you hadn’t as much as made out with a guy before now, but he loved to hear you say it. He wanted to hear over, and over, and over, that he was the first person to make you feel good, the only person. The way he said it made your core clench around nothing - and now he could see it clear as day. It made the edges of his lips curl into a slight smirk when he noticed, having the urge to lean forward and catch the drip of creamy white arousal that gushed out of your pretty tight hole with his finger and pull it into his mouth, he wondered if he could make you squirt. “N-no- No uh… no one” you admit, please, please offer you begged with your eyes to which thankfully he agreed since he said

“Would you mind if I try, so we see if you like it?” he sat up a bit when you nod, expecting a verbal answer. He continued sitting, and you stared at eachother for a moment until he finally said “One thing that won’t work w’me is not usin’ y’r words, angel” he said in that breathy way that made you shiver, his tone sweet but firm. 

“Please, yes please” you said, voice meek and shy, just above a whisper. You had gotten so lost in his eyes that your hand stopped moving and when he noticed this as he shifted to get comfortable next to you, he said

“You can keep touching yourself, pretty girl” He kissed down your neck with hot, open mouthed kisses, leaving a trail of saliva that gave you a chill as he moved down to your same breast that you were just paying attention to with your fingers, so you move your hand to your other breast. He kissed over the flesh of your breast, looking up at you and gauging your reaction as you continued making quick circles around your clit, the sound of your wetness causing a faint click to be heard throughout the room. 

“If you want me to stop at any point, just say stop - ok? It doesn’t matter why, if you aren’t enjoying something say stop” he told you truthfully. You nodded and smiled a bit, your belly swarming with butterflies at the way he was so focused on making sure you felt safe and heard during your first experience that was so intimate. 

“I’ll be sure” you promised and he continued kissing around your breast until he got to your nipple. He ran his lips over it lightly, teasing the bud with his lips gently before sticking out his tongue and flicking it over the sensitive bud in a way that made you shiver slightly. Once he’d gotten your sensitive bud perky he took it into his mouth, sucking on it lightly and swirling his tongue around it in a way that made you moan out, eyes fluttering shut and head dropping back. 

“Oh- mmhmm- yeah, feels nice” you breathe, causing him to smirk around your flesh, bringing his hand up to your other breast, gently nudging your hand out of the way and taking over. You gasped as he rolled your other nipple between his fingers, a small twinge of pain flicking through you - but mixed with the feeling of his lips and tongue on your breast, and you fingers now quickly working at your clit in tight up and down strokes, your stomach beginning to clench and tighten. Your breathing got quicker, turning into little pants as you got closer and closer to your peak. He removed himself from your nipple with a pop, looking up at you 

“Gettin’ there, huh baby?” he confirmed, he could tell by the way you were whimpering and your thigh was twitching every so often that you were about to fall over. In response you nod quickly, mind fuzzy and eyes still closed. “Lemme show y’somethin” he takes his hand away from your breast, returning his mouth to your other nipple and gently applying pressure to your lower abdomen right below your naval. The pleasure was simply mind numbing, you weren’t sure how just a simple palm under your bellybutton could make you gasp, but here you were. The noises you were making were sinful, whiney, hot, even to your own standards - you didn’t even know you could make noises like this. 

“Tha’s it kitten, such a good girl - make yourself cum” he increases the pressure and you cry out as you’re thrown over the edge, hips jerking and shivering. Your thighs quivered, and he released his palm from your stomach to hold it and rub it gently as you continued working yourself through your high. Once he saw you finally take your fingers away from your clit once you began to feel overstimulated he pulls away from your breast once again and takes your hand, looking at the sticky creamy strings dripping down your fingers. 

“Can I clean these up for you angel?” he asked and your mouth dropped a bit at the questioned, your already twitching clit feeling like it leapt. 

“Yes- please do” you said softly. You thought he was going to be so gentlemanly and take his t-shirt off and wipe them for you so you didn’t have to get up and wash your hands since your legs felt like jelly, but what he did was even better. He parted his lips, opening his mouth and taking your fingers all the way to the back of his tongue, before closing his lips around them and sucking them, swirling his tongue around them like he did your nipple and the sensation caused a moan to escape your throat, which in turn he huffed a chuckle through his nose. 

Once your fingers were cum free, he pulled off of them with a similar pop as earlier on your breast and looked at you with a hazy lust filled smile “You did so good, squish” he said and you blushed, the sound of your childhood nickname in such an intimate moment making you feel extra shy. You giggled a bit as he cupped your cheeks with his dry hand before squishing them and pulling you close to give you short sweet pecks all over your face and finally landing on your lips. 

“Thank you - I’ve never finished that fast I think” you said and he smirked, resting his forehead on yours 

“Yeah? Bet I could make you do it again, and faster” he mused softly, his breath fanning your lips and you could smell the taste of yourself on his tongue, causing your heart to flutter in your chest. You hadn’t even tasted that before, let alone anyone else. 

“I’d bet you can’t” you teased, ever egging on the forever running competition between you two. “Especially after I just finished, that’d take forever” you smirk and he snorts a laugh, sitting up a bit. 

“Is that a challenge, squish?” he asked and you shrug, 

“If you think you can handle it, sure” you spread your legs again as he sat up fully and got you situated between his thighs and comfortably sitting against his chest. 

You didn’t know what you were getting yourself into.

“Not only can I handle it, I can do it without touching your clit if you trust me” he said cockily and you look back at him 

“Always trust you bear” you said sweetly. He felt butterflies in his stomach, bending his head down and giving you a long, gentle kiss, the kind of kiss that made the hair on the back of your neck stand up. It felt like the kiss of a summer breeze, sweet and relaxing

“Ok, I know you said that you’ve tried fingering yourself and it didn’t feel good, but I wanna try- Like I said before, just say stop any time, ye’?” he assured and remembering what he said about needing to use your words you nod and added a soft ‘yes’  to confirm your understanding. “Good girl” he purred, kissing your forehead and nudging his thigh under yours, pries your legs a bit further open. 

“So usually you’re gonna wanna do what you just did before you start fingering yourself, kitten - gotta get yourself nice and wet, if you can make yourself cum before you start that’s even better. But you wanna start with just one knuckle, middle finger is best usually” he explained, his lips pressed to the shell of your ear and hot breath tickling your neck as he whispered low and soft. 

“Uh- uh-huh” you said, swallowing thickly as you watched his finger slowly swirl around your hole, collecting creamy white arousal and slowly pulling it away so there would be a string as he held it up to show. 

“See that, all that sweet shit? That’s what you need for it to feel good baby” he rubbed his thumb with his middle finger, spreading them apart to show you the sticky stringy mess when he had barely touched you yet. “You’ve tasted yourself, right angel?” he nipped at your earlobe gently, pulling it with his teeth and you whimper softly. 

“No- I- I haven’t” you admitted, breath hitching when he tuts, disappointed, 

“You have to, you have the sweetest pussy I’ve ever tasted, squish, go ahead- s’like fuckin candy” he swipes his middle and forefinger over your hole all the way up to your sensitive clit, making your hips twitch a bit as he collected the fingerfull of white cream and brought it up to your lips. You opened without a second thought, and he thrusts his fingers in your mouth in such a way that made you groan a bit at the heavy feeling of his fingers on your tongue. He was right, you did taste sweet. Heady, but wonderful. He hummed as your eyes fluttered shut and you enjoyed the taste. 

“See? Thank you for letting me be the first person to taste you babygirl” he kissed your temple as he gently eased his tattooed fingers out of your mouth after you licked them clean. The statement leaving his lips made his cock twitch, fuck, no one had ever had such a effect on him before, as if there was fireworks popping in his veins. 

You looked up at him, leaning up and connecting your lips in another one of those kisses that made your heart skip a beat or two. He gently squeezed at the plush of your thigh, his nails creating light half moon shaped indents in the flesh which caused a sweet whimper to leave your throat “Carmy please touch me” you begged, before trying to bring your lips back to his and he inched his face away teasingly. 

“Use your words, pretty girl” he purred, gently grazing his teeth over your jaw and nipping gently. You arched your hips, trying to get him to rub at your clit again, kissing his lips with a passionate open mouthed kiss and taking his hand, putting it over your heat and grinding over his fingers, huffing a breath of relief when you felt his strong fingers brushing over your clit. He huffed a chuckle into your lips, dipping his fingers down and swirling the tip of his middle finger over your entrance after spreading you out with his fingers, gently prodding just the tip of it in. You bit down on his lip gently, pulling away and letting it snap back into place. 

“I wanna try that with you…maybe it’ll feel better when someone else does it” you admit shyly, hand moving to cover your breast when you realized that it was still just you sprawled out and naked on his bed, he had only unbuttoned his jeans at this point. “An’ I want you to take this off” you said just above a whisper, voice honeyed with innocence as you tugged at the hem of his shirt. 

“M’sorry baby I didn’t mean to strip you down an’not join you, I just had t’get a fuckin’ taste been wantin’it f’so long” he admitted, sitting up and pulling his shirt off with one tug, his curls becoming even more ruffled in the process before settling back against the headboard, your back now warmed by the feeling of his chest pressed against it. He pulled your thigh open again wider this time, and went back to rubbing your clit in gentle, slow circles that had your head dropping back on his shoulder. 

“Like we said you tell me if s’too much yea?” he said gently in your ear before kissing the base of your neck and you hum, muttering a yes, that turned into a gasp as he picked up the speed of his fingers.

“Yes- god- please, yes Carmy” you weren’t sure what exactly you were begging for, but knew if it was anything like up to this point- 

You were going to enjoy yourself just fine.

You felt so hot, You had lost track of how many times Carmy had made you cum on his fingers at this point, your brain had turned to mush after number 5 and you just became a pathetic moaning mess beneath him only knowing ‘yes’ and ‘no’. The sheets beneath you felt soaked with your arousal, and you could barely keep your eyes open. You felt another one coming as your thighs had began to shake and you were squirming in Carmys lap as he held your thighs open with his knees hooked over yours to keep them from closing. 

“Awww y’gonna cum f’me again bunny? Mmm? You sound so fuckin’ pretty when you cum, beggin’ me to keep goin- fucked you stupid and you havent even had my cock yet” he edged you on in that soft husky voice you loved right in the shell of your ear. Your jaw had come slack, and hips rutted up beyond your control to meet his fingers and draw them deeper - how he’d stretched you open to accommodate 3 was still baffling to you 

“Yes- yesyesyesyesyes” you babbled, feeling him chuckle at your eagerness. He had never been so fucking hard in his life, but being the disciplined partner in the bedroom he was, he wanted to be sure that you were essentially in tears begging for his cock by the time he gave it to you and he was well on his way there. 

“Yeah? Yeah you wanna cum angel? What if I do this, mmm? On that spot we found” he purrs in  your ear, finding that spot that made you nearly stop breathing and stars of white to form behind your lids and continued to pump his fingers in that come hither motion you knew would get you to your peak faster, but what you didn’t know was he was going to rub the pad of his palm right over your clit that was aching for attention in such a way you felt a pit at the base of your stomach so white hot with pleasure that all you could do was quickly look down to see what on earth could feel so good just as a gush of creamy white covers his fingers and drips down his wrist, going as far as to drop to the crook of his arm and the most mind-melting orgasm washed over you after that. 

He worked you through it, of course, purring filthy praises in your ear about creaming so pretty on his fingers, and how the noises you made were something close to angelic. He kissed over the side of your face, down to your jaw, and neck, nibbling over the little marks that he’d left on your collarbones as he slowed down the thrusting of his fingers. 

“Let’s see what kinda mess you made, babygirl” he eased his fingers out, the empty feeling causing you to whine a bit that he caught quickly in a kiss, sucking on your already plump and kiss-bitten bottom lip, by the time he pulled away to look your mind was hazy and kiss drunk. “Wow” he mutters, utterly amazed with your release, holding up his sticky right hand and spreading his fingers apart to demonstrate the sweet stringy white cream covering his digits.

“You want some baby?” he sucked the tips of his fingers sensually, moaning hotly at the taste, enjoying it so much that his lust blown blue eyes fluttered shut for a moment. You took his hand, taking his fingers and opening wide, sucking them clean. You hum softly at the satly sweet taste, definitely different then just your slick from earlier. 

“Good girl- always so good f’me mm?” he braised, cupping your cheek with his other hand and you didnt take your eyes off him as you began to slowly bob your head back and forth, causing his jaw to fall slack watching as your eyes got friskier, he knew you knew what you were doing. “Are you a good girl?” he mocked “That isn’t good girl behavior” he teased, causing you to pull off his fingers with a satisfying pop, licking your lips of the additional release that coated them.

“What if I said no, would I be in trouble” you muse, a frisky smile dancing on your lips. You giggled how you did when he knew you were up to something. 

“Ohhh do you want to be punished?” He grabs your face, “open up this filthy fuckin mouth mm?” He said and you stuck your tongue out teasingly. “Noooo, I said open” he tapped your cheek lightly and you relented, opening your mouth for him and sticking your tongue out wide just to tease. 

“Aaahhh” you said teasingly until you heard and felt him spit a hot glob of saliva into your mouth that tasted like your arousal coating your tongue. You opened your eyes to see him smirking down at you cockily. 

“Now swallow since you wanna act like such a little slut mmm?” He pushed your jaw closed and you swallow right away, looking up at him stunned but impossibly turned on, not quite sure how to even respond as you never thought it was an option. 

“Can you do it again please” you open your mouth and rest your head back. He chuckled, shaking his head a bit as he collected a generous glob in the front of his mouth before connecting his lips to yours, letting it fall over your tongue and you moan softly drinking it down like a magical elixir while you kiss over his lips. He pulled away just enough to speak 

“Already turned you into a little fuckin’ whore f’me, mm?” He strokes your cheek gently with his now dry but slightly sticky hand from your cum and you turned your face to the side, capturing your lips around his thumb and sucking lightly as you look into his eyes, bobbing your head slowly and his breath hitched a bit. 

“Have you ever sucked cock?” He asked, his voice soft and husky. You get your cheeks heat at the bluntness of the question. 

“N-no,” you managed, your voice sheepish. 

“Y’wanna try, you can say no, of course, but you seem to have…” he pried your mouth open with his thumb again, brushing the pad of it over your tongue and as if it was a routine you closed your lips around it and swirled your tongue, bobbing your head slightly and he squished your cheeks with his hand “an oral fixation. So let’s put it to better use then cleanin’ the cum offa’ my fingers, mm?” He said in such a way that made a shiver go down your spine. 

“Yea- I might not be good-“ you start to apologize and he put his finger to your lips, stopping you 

“I can teach you.” He promised and you nodded gently, holding onto his forearm and gently taking the finger into your mouth all the way to the base and humming softly when you felt him pressing on the back of your tongue more, and more until you gagged and coughed into his hand. “Good girl, first thing is you need some spit” he pushed his boxers and jeans down enough to free his throbbingly hard cock, it coming up and slapping his stomach with a small fleshy sound that made your mouth water as you looked at it. 

Veiny, thick, adorned with a little bush of dark curls at the base, balls that looked like the perfect handful- he was prettier then you’d though. “You’ve seen a dick before, right?” He teased as he grabbed it, twisting his wrist as he covered it with the slick and tightening his jaw a bit as he got used to the sensation. 

Carmen was used to being pent up weeks at a time, of not having barely 10 minutes to sit and jack off without the sound of an email coming in and completely killing his boner - when he was quite literally almost there. So he was an expert at edging himself by this point, getting to cum for him was well- a luxury. And he knew if he was gonna cum anywhere tonight, he wanted it to be your pussy obviously or your mouth- or face, depending on the mood but he knew for your first time covering your face in cum and taking a picture of it may be a little nerve wracking, so that was more just a fantasy - but mouth or pussy would please him greatly. 

“Yes- ive seen a dick… not like…in real life. But I’ve seen them In like…I saw porn a few times.” You admit shyly and his cock twitched in the confines of his hand at your admission. 

Shiiiiiiit he thought to himself in his head, resisting the urge to just choke the fuck out of his cock and get this over with, finally get that release that his stomach was starting to hurt for. But he didn’t, he couldn’t. He’d been waiting for so long for this, that the thought of wasting the opportunity instead of having your mouth on his cock and he would rather get back with Claire then miss this opportunity. 

“Yeah- mm tell me what kinda porn did you watch princess-“ he grunted a bit as he continued lightly stroking himself. You decided to take it upon yourself to straddle his thighs, and gently grab his wrist. 

“I’ll tell you, but can I do this part?” You asked. Carmy was convinced he could cum right there so he grabbed the base of his cock, squeezing tight thinking of anything he could to not just bust and have it spurt all the way onto your tits like a loaded fucking gun. 

“Yeah- course baby” he let go of it, guiding your hand to the base and wrapping his hand around yours, stomach muscles tightening when he felt the sheer size and softness of your hand. “Jesus Christ-“ he muttered to himself as he slowly started working your hands up and down his length, his abs contracting with each twist of your wrist over his sensitive tip. “Tell me- was it, fuck was it like this? Er was it rough?” He asked, and you found yourself easing over onto his Jean clad thigh and rubbing your pussy back and forth over the denim to ease the throb that began to build there. You let out a soft wanton moan before responding 

“Uh- mmm- I- I think that uh- it was pretty rough” you admit, grinding yourself a bit harder when he tightens his hand around yours and moves your hands in tandem faster 

“Yeah? Was she screamin’? Did she cream all over his cock like I made you do?” He asked and your cheeks go pink at the reminder, not like the milky creamy stain sitting a few inches to your left didn’t remind you enough of just the mess he can have you making. 

“Uh- hnngg” your thoughts practically melt as you brought yourself closer to the edge moving your hips in tandem with his hand and jaw falling slack 

“Awwww are you makin’ y’self cum on my leg? You’re humping my leg princess mmm?” He cooed, moving his hand slower and watched as you slowed your hips “y’wanna cum on my leg? Mmm?” He asked and you nodded fervently, brain feeling fuzzy and lower stomach wound tight with that need, every pass of his strong thigh covered by roughly starched denim over your twitching sensitive nub causing that coil to wrap tighter, and tighter getting ready to snap at any moment. “Yeah? You wanna cum on my leg- er come on my cock” he asked and your eyes shot open -

not having realized for whatever reason that was definitely an option.

After a quick begging session of telling Carmy it would be okay to not use a condom since you had a birth control insert - it was making it harder and harder for Carmy to maintain his composure with every word passed from your pretty plump lips. 

You were on your back, legs spread impossibly wide- Carmy brought out a flexibility in you you didn’t know existed, even though you guessed you’d likely be sore tomorrow. He grabbed lube from his nightstand, a dark purple bottle that read astroglide : water based lubricant on the side and opened the cap, squirting a decent glob in his hand. 

“S’gonna be cold but it’s ok, everythings gonna get real hot in here in a second” he mused, stroking himself a few times to get himself coated before rubbing the rest over your already dripping hole and clit. He just wanted to be sure. He was right though, the feeling of the icy gel made goosebumps appear on your lower stomach that he began to kiss away as he rubbed at your clit gently 

“Y’need me T’stretch you again just say the word, ok?” He confirmed, lining himself up with your entrance. You nodded reaching out for his hand and he took it in his, lacing your fingers together and kissing it sweetly “nervous, baby?” He asked in that soft sweet way that made your heart melt into a puddle in your chest. 

Well, not anymore you thought. 

“No- i promise ill tell you if it hurts” you assured him. He supported the leg that was curled around his waist with his strong arm, hoisting it up onto his shoulder 

“It’ll feel good this way, trust” he gently nudged his tip in, causing you both to moan out a bit. “Holy fucking shit squish” he grunted out. Just the tip and he was already gritting his teeth to hold it together and not cream pie you before he even thrusted once.  

“Wow- wow” you said breathlessly and when he rubbed your clit your toes curled and spine arched off the bed slightly. “Fuck- yes- oh yes, yesyesyes” you babble as he sinks in deeper. Your eyes were shut in bliss, but his were wide as an owl, taking in your everything. 

Every breath, every moan, every twitch and arch and curve - it was like watching art. “God- so fuckin beautiful” he said as he sunk in another inch, rubbing your clit in tighter circles and he began to feel that tight pulsing he knew meant you were right on the edge he had felt on his fingers so many times tonight, but now that it was around his cock- his mind went blank. Completely fucking blank. He wasn’t sure if he was asked what his name was in that moment he’d have an answer, like every single bit of information he’d ever learned had vanished into an abyss. The only thing he could do was let out a series of whiney moans and grunts that hurled you into an orgasm that has tears pricking in the corners of your eyes. 

“Oh fuck- yessss babygirl cum on my fuckin cock- god- such a good fuckin girl” he praised once he finally found his tongue, using the oppertunity to sink in fully to the hilt and you cry out, grabbing at his arm and gripping it with your nails causing him to grunt “fuck- gonna scratch me up kitten? Mmm? Let everyone at work know I rocked your shit?” He thrust just a bit harder and you dragged your nails down his arm, gasping at the sensation when he threw your other leg on his shoulder and you felt him impossibly deep. 

It was all consuming how full you felt, quite frankly it was addicting. The mushroom shaped tip of his cock was massaging over that incredible spot deep inside you that made you see stars in your vision. You didn’t even notice that he was staring at the bulge showing up in your belly with each deep thrust of his cock. 

“Jesus fuckin hell - look a’this, bunny” he taps your cheek lightly for your attention and rubs his hand over that little bulge and he groans as he can feel the tips of his fingers pressing over his cock as he thrusts up. The sight is incredible, unimaginably hot. You brushed his hand out of the way and gently press, causing you both to moan out in pure ecstasy. 

“Oh- oh fuck fuck” he rambled, sweat dripping down his toned muscle and chain swinging against his glistening chest. You had the bright idea many times before but were never given the golden opportunity (pun intended)  to suck on the little gold pendant no matter how many times it ever so teasingly dangled in front of your face. Since it was now or never, you hook your finger around the necklace and pull him closer and closer until you could pull it into your mouth and he groans hotly as you suck on it, wrapping it around your tongue. 

“I always catch you starin’ at that, y’know that sweetheart?” He smirked down at you, continuing his slow deep strokes and putting his hand back over that little Carmen shaped swell he was leaving just below your naval. You felt your cheeks run hot never realizing that you had made it so obvious the appreciation you had for his chain. What could you say? The man wore it well. 

“S’not my fault you look so good in your white shirts and chains. You drive me crazy” you admit, letting the necklace fall from your lips. He hummed softly at your admission, tilting your face up and capturing your lips in a kiss, cupping your cheek to hold you to his mouth and continue kissing you, quicker, more fervent as he sped up the snapping of his hips causing you to mewl into his mouth, and for his breath to fan out of his nose against your upper lip in hot short pants as he trailed his hands down over your neck, lingering there for a moment which for whatever reason sent fireworks shooting off in your belly, before sliding down and finding the swell of your breasts that were bouncing with each rough snap of his hips. 

The sound throughout the room was the lewd wet slapping of skin, as well as whiney little moans tearing from your throat with each time his hips bounced off the meat of your ass from the intensity of his thrusts. He grabbed your breasts, one in each hand and thrummed over your nipples with the pads of his thumbs, squeezing them in his palms, pushing them together, just utterly enjoying himself kneading the balls of flesh. 

The boyishness of it caused you to pull away so you wouldn’t laugh into his mouth and look down at his large tattooed hands massaging and squishing your breasts. “Havin’ fun, Bear?” You teased and he pinched your nipples playfully causing you to gasp at the mix of pain and pleasure. 

“I am havin’ fun- aren’t you havin’ fun?” He confirmed, letting go of the sensitive buds of flesh so you could find the mind to reply you nod quickly and he cupped your jaw, slowing his thrusts “words” he reminded 

“The most fun I’ve ever fucking had now keep touching my tits” you giggled, taking his palm and bringing it back to your breast and he snorts a laugh. 

“I’ve created a monster, mmm?” He teased, quickening his thrusts again and you nod with a hot mewl as he buries himself to the hilt and grinds his hips in such a way that his cock was rutting against your special spot, in turn causing you to gush around his cock how you did earlier and your legs shake as another one of those intense orgasms washed over you, your eyes nearly rolling back as your lids flutter shut and jaw dropped. There was the roaring of blood in your ears, your back arching off the bed as your jaw fell slack and you let something out between a scream and a cry, “fuuuckfuckfuck Carmy fuckkkk” you cry out, the warmth flooding the sheets below you to the point you could hear the trickle of it. 

“So fuckin hot Jesus Christ you’re so fuckin hot baby- soakin my fuckin cock like this I’m gonna fuckin fill up this pussy” he grunts, his thrusts becoming spurratic and he took his thumb, massaging it over your clit and laying his 4 fingers in such a way he could press in and feel himself fuck you as he did before. 

The pleasure was so mind numbing you felt like jelly, the only thing in your brain currently was how if he kept doing this you were surely going to soak his mattress and have to buy him a new one, but for whatever reason your brain couldn’t connect with your mouth and the thought left as quick as it came. “You still want that kitten? Mm? Want me to cum in y’r tight pussy, yea? Make you mine?” He kissed over your ankle and down your calf as he waited for an answer. When he didn’t get one he spanks you lightly causing you to squeak in surprise “I said. Do you want me to cum inside you still? Mm? You fuckincockdrunk over there?” He said teasingly and you nodded quickly 

“Yes - t’both, probably” you admit and he chuckled, bending over and giving you a chaste kiss to the temple 

“Such a good girl” he praised, rubbing your clit quicker so you would clench around him. You squirmed beneath him, sensitive from your last orgasm but not able to tell him to stop- it felt too fucking good. “I know Angel- I know, almost there fuck jus’ a minute” he grunted, thrusting harder and groaning out hotly. “Thaaaas’ it - fuck so fuckin close bunny gonna fill up this pretty pussy- so fuckin tight god” he moaned out hotly, head dropping back in bliss as he absolutely wrecked you. 

But you couldn’t help but look at him with half lidded blissed out eyes thinking that he looked like the incarnate of a Greek fucking statue that has an enormous cock. “Fuckin need it- need it- make me yours Carmy” you begged out, finally finding your voice again when you felt him twitch inside of you. He had helped you over the edge tonight - showed you what it meant to feel good - so you figured the least you could do is help him get there once. 

“Yeah? Tell me again baby, what do you need?” He rasps, finding it harder to hold back, but he had to hear you say it. 

“Cum inside of me, Bear. Make me yours, mark me.” You said between gasps and mewls, and he couldn’t hold back anymore. His eyes squeeze shut as he thrusts a few more times before setting himself inside you to the hilt and moaning hotly as he releases a huge hot string of cum inside of you, groaning as he thrusts slowly, releasing spurt after spurt of white cream that felt so warm, so right. 

“Thank you- thank you squish, thank you” he rambled, cum gushing down the curve of your ass onto the sheets as he milked himself of every last drop with the help of your tight cunt. “God you are so fucking perfect” he said, his voice honeyed with lust and admiration. You pulled him to lay on top of you, his cock still deep inside. “I can pull out whenever-“

You interrupt him with a sweet, gentle, open mouthed kiss running your tongue over his and nudging your noses together gently before whispering  “Let’s just stay like this for a while”

You stayed like that for about 15 minutes, until Carmy told you that he had to get you cleaned up and make sure that you used the restroom since you had gone so many rounds. By that time though, you had gotten all too comfortable with your leg around his waist and nuzzled into his neck, starting to fall asleep. 

“But I don’t even haveee to peee” you whined, causing him to huff a chuckle, rubbing your side encouragingly. 

“You have to do a few things before we nap, ok? I’ll even carry you cmon, let me up little monkey” he teased, picking up your arm and dropping it. You pretended it was dead weight, mushing your cheek into his chest more, enjoying the smell of his sweat mixed with his cologne. 

“Mm comfy here” you mused and he gently brushed your sweaty auburn hair from your forehead. 

“I can tell you’re comfy cause you sound like you’re about t’fall asleep, squish. I was gonna make you a grilled cheese- if you listen” he mused and your head perked up. 

“The one with the Parmesan on the outside so it’s all crunchy?” You asked hopefully and he smiled adoringly, brushing his thumb over your cheekbone 

“And creamy tomato soup” he added and you peeled your arm from around him, sweaty skin sticking together as you pulled your bodies apart. You stretched, wincing a bit at the feeling in your lower back. 

“Mm- we went hard” you said, and he gently helped hoist you so you were sitting up 

“We did- sorry - was it too much?” He slipped on his boxers and came over to your side of the bed, scooping you up bridal style and kissing your forehead sweetly as he padded over to his en suite bathroom, gently setting you on the toilet and pulling out a good amount of toilet paper, folding it for you as you went. 

“It wasn’t- ew why is my pee like…hot” you laughed causing him to chuckle as well as he handed over the toilet paper, before turning to the sink to wash his hands to give you privacy while you cleaned yourself up. 

“Uh- kinda stupid but I read in this book that f’girls it like… is a defense thing for bacteria er’ some shit?” He chuckled and you giggle as you flush the toilet 

“You read a sex book- woah-“ you attempted getting up but your thighs felt impossibly weak, and if it wasn’t for Carmy quickly noticing and dropping the hand towel to quickly grab your arms and steady you, you’d have fallen. 

“Woahh there, Bambi, lemme help you, yeah? S’what I’m here for” he assured you and carefully helped you over to the counter, holding you up by your waist so you could wash your hands. 

“Thanks- sorry. Dunno why I feel like I just ran 15 miles I barely did anything” you said shyly as you rinsed your hands with soap and water. 

“S’just your first time, baby. It’s all normal don’ worry” he said, planting gentle kisses along your neck down to your shoulder where he’d left little purple marks. 

“Oh-“ you said a bit worriedly as you saw the scratch marks in the mirror that you’d left on his bicep, so deep they looked nearly bruised,  touching over them with your finger lightly “I hurt you- I’m so sorry” you whisper, looking down at them and he shook his head. 

“Don’t worry kitten, loved it, felt good” he kissed your cheek gently and scooped you back up with ease, carrying you to his laundry room and sitting you on top of the dryer 

“What are we in here for?” You questioned and he grabbed a pair of clean boxers from his hamper as well as one of his old the beef t-shirts that had been freshly washed as well. 

“T’get you dressed so you don’t freeze to death” he said as if it was obvious, forgetting that your clothes that laid beneath you both in the bed that you had worn here were likely soaking wet which made you scrunch your nose. 

“And get new sheets” he said with a smirk as if he could read your mind, it always felt like he could. He gently eased your ankles into each leg hole, pulling them up to your thighs and slipping the shirt over your head, helping your arms through before helping you down and pulling the boxer briefs up the rest of the way. 

“Alright you can chill on the couch while I get all that shit in the wash, yea?” He picked you up, lifting you onto his shoulder like a sack of flour and you gasp and squeal laugh when he spanks you playfully 

“Oh my god! Carmy!” You laugh, holding onto his shoulder as he carried you to his living room and gently dumped you on his couch where all of this started, and HalloweenTown was now back at the beginning screen asking if you wanted to replay the movie. 

“I have to transport you somehow when these legs are useless” he teased and rested his knee on the couch, bending over and giving you a quick kiss on the head. “Lemme go change those sheets and I’ll be right out to make you your food, in the meantime though I want you drinkin’ this” he sets your yeti cup that was still full of ice water next to you on the side table and you smile a bit. 

“Do you act this nice with all the girls you sleep with or am I just special” you said jokingly. His smile faltered for a moment as he thought about what he was going to say. 

No, I’m pretty sure I would only ever act this way the first time I slept with someone if it was the person I’d been desperately in love with since middle school - 

But he’d never say that out loud, the boldness from all the adrenaline and testosterone he’d been flooded with in the throes of passion have came and went. So he settled on,

“No, squish. You’re just special” he kissed the top of your head before heading back into his bedroom to deal with the waterlogged sheets you two had left. You nibbled on the inside of your lip, deep in thought as to what this meant for your relationship going forward, his words ringing around in your mind, until he came out- carrying a bundle of sheets in his arms, his biceps flexing as he carried them all to the laundry room. 

“How’s that water comin’ squish?” He called from the laundry room as he loaded up the washing machine, shit- you had one job while he was gone and failed to do it. 

“Good!” You lied, grabbing the cup and quickly chugging down a good 5 gulps, the icy feeling chasing all the way down to your stomach that grumbled at the contact making you realize it had been a while since you ate. 

“I didn’t hear that cup move once before I asked. I was listening” he said amused, returning out of the laundry room in gray sweatpants that hung low on his hips and he padded into the kitchen, getting out a pan to heat. 

“Okay creepy, listening to my water habits- I’m gonna watch my movie now that you so filthily interrupted with your… your…” you try to find the word and he laughs, getting out what he needed for the soup and your sandwiches 

“Myyyyyy….” He teased 

“Sluttiness!!! Your masculine- pull” you said and you both cracked up, shaking his head 

“You’re a fuckin dork” he mused and you smiled, shrugging as you hit play on your movie once again. 

“You love dorks. It’s why we’re best friends”  

It wasn’t long until Carmy came over with a steaming bowl of soup, and 4 squares of amazing grilled cheese on a plate and sat It down at the coffee table. “Careful the soup is hot” he warned and you grabbed one of the little triangles right away, taking a bite and moaning 

“Mm best grilled cheese In the world” you rest your head on his shoulder, chewing happily and your eyes fluttering shut in bliss. 

He chuckled a bit, having a bite of his own that of course wasn’t as beautifully plated and prepared as yours was (and had gone a bit cold since he always made yours last so it would be hot and melty for you) “really? You think that could be an award I could get, should we call Guinness?” He joked, causing you to laugh a bit. 

People often thought Carmy wasn’t funny, or that he didn’t have the ability to make conversation  - he was simply very shy, and observant. When you were in public too, he didn’t have a problem joking around with you - but with people he doesn’t know, he prefers to sit back for quite a while and observe the way they react to other people before he tries to interact himself. It made you two a great pair, because you always trusted his judgment. 

“We really should. Hey- why do you always make mine all pretty?” You asked, realizing that you always noticed it but had never brought it up before. He hummed in contemplation, swallowing before saying 

“I dunno. Cause you deserve nice things” he said simply before taking another bite. You scrunched your brows together, doing the same as you thought. 

“You deserve nice things” you said and he nodded 

“Already got em’ got all the nice things I need” he said and finished off his first half before having a sip of water from the glass he’d brought for himself. You weren’t sure what he was saying, Carmy didn’t allow himself to have like…anything. 

“What are those?” You asked and he looked at you 

“Well, you’re my best friend. S’all I need, I realized after I came back from New York I’d rather be your friend and stay here then be anyone else, I love being your friend, squish. You’re a great friend” he said earnestly. Your cheeks suddenly felt hot, and you felt a lump in your throat like you could cry 

“Bear I love being your friend” you put your sandwich on the plate and wrap your arms around him. He held you, kissing your cheek gently as he rubbed your back, enveloping you in one of those deep warm hugs you knew him for. He always gave Bear Hug a new meaning to you. “But-“ you pulled away and look at him, biting your lip gently. “We can keep being friends… after what we did- right?” You asked and his eyes widened before nodding like it was the craziest question in the world. 

“Are you- yes- yes squish. That wouldn’t ever change me wanting to be your friend - nothing could change that.” He cupped your cheek gently “you- y’re everything t’me” he said softly, stroking your cheek with his thumb lightly. 

“So are you…are you doing this kinda thing with other girls still?” You asked meekly, eyes drifting to your lap. He took his other hand, bringing it to your other cheek and angling your face up to look at him once again. 

“Do you want me to stop seeing other women?” He asked, his voice low, soft, honest. You swallowed thickly in contemplation, looking into his eyes. You wanted to say yes, but you didn’t want to feel selfish in case he didn’t feel the same, but if he didn’t feel the same you didn’t want to do that with him again. 

“Yes- b-but…but if you don’t want to…that’s ok, carm. I just- I only want it to be us…” you said softly. He eased you into his lap, stroking your auburn hair gently and kissing your jaw up to your cheek and over to your lips, giving you a deep affectionate kiss, one that made your heart feel like it was going to burst with butterflies. After a few moments he pulled away and muttered against your lips, “It’s just us from now on” 

Tagging bestie boops: @gallaghersgal @mouseymilkovich @daysofyellowroses @l4long-winded @carmybrainworms

[ratioaven]

spoilers for 2.1 !!!!!!!

aventurine rant, please keep in my mind that these are my own thoughts and interpretations. im extremely sleep deprived lol so im sorry if i got anything wrong

something thats been on my mind since yesterday are these lines.

from the start to me, it was very clear aventurine had self esteem/worth issues because of how he treats his own life, but the line that says “the other hand is below the table, clutching your chips for dear life” stuck out to me.

i always assumed aventurine was so incredibly confident in his luck but in reality he is afraid. he’s terrified that he’ll lose. it’s an act. he convinces himself, he fools himself, he forces himself to act like he’s confident he’ll win, when in reality even if he does win, he’s still clutching his chips under the table for dear life because of how terrified he is of losing.

that really messed with me to be honest. i feel tricked and what’s ironic is that he tricks his opponents into thinking he’s confident, and he also tricked ME the player but really, this made my heart break in two because i had absolutely no clue up until now.

so why does he act this way

all throughout his life, aventurine has had his pride stripped away. just try to imagine being in his shoes. i myself do not think i could deal with the situations he was put in. i cannot stress this enough, aventurine has a mark on his neck that screams to him that he has once belonged to someone. he has had his pride stripped away from him countless times. but it’s ironic because aventurine is introduced as a very prideful and flashy man. you start to realize the front aventurine puts on is his own way of protecting himself. it’s how he’s able to live basically. i wanna go into more detail but i will later.

as it was said before, aventurine is an uptight person who worries. he is extremely afraid of losing and he has a massive inferiority complex. aventurine may seem like a go lucky person on the outside, but in actuality he is not. he is not happy. he has no self worth, he believes he has nothing to live for, and he has no problem with throwing his life away. aventurine believes the only good thing he brings to the table is his luck.

but this brings me to my next point.

aventurine may not realize it, but he is so much more than his luck. he has so many good qualities and he doesn’t seem to realize it. even if some of it may be an act, he’s still able to pull it off. he’s still an intelligent business man who is both charming and cunning EVEN if it may be an act, those are still amazing qualities to have in his line of work.

but more importantly, aventurine chose to live. despite witnessing his family die, being a slave, and tortured, he chose to live. he chooses to. i cannot stress this enough. this man has gone through hell and back. he truly has had an incredibly difficult life to the point where my heart hurts so so badly for him. he made the decision to stay alive.

that says more than enough about his character.

and last but not least, aventurine wants one thing, and that is to be with his family. he’s witnessed horrible things in his life that no one should ever go through. he lost everyone close to him, he lost his people. he has nothing to live for and he values his life so little to the point where he has no problem with dying. the only real thing that he wants is just to see his family.

and he will one day, but in the meantime, i genuinely hope this man can find a reason to live, and ratio already gave him one just by that note. i just truly wish aventurine happiness while he lives the rest of his life.

i guess this is a topic that really hits me hard because i know all too well that choosing to live life isn’t easy sometimes and i just love aventurine.

let’s all appreciate how truly amazing his character is.

[jinnie-ret]

take a chance with me

lee know x reader

genre: mostly fluff, teeny angst

content warnings: one mention of a stroke (it's not an actual one just Minho malfunctioning lol)

word count: 1.8k

summary: lee know was too scared to express his feelings - lucky you were there to convince him his feelings were mutual

a/n: Umm... hi, lol. It's been a while since I've posted. Hopefully this is a nice surprise hehe

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Waking up early each morning and leaving your home at 06:30am would seem like a chore to most people. For you? It was incredibly rewarding to enter the workplace, opening up the front office for the day. Your friends had questioned you wondering how you did it, but helping your parents manage a cat rescue home soothed a part of your soul you didn't know you needed healing, particularly when dreaming of becoming an astronaut, a bus driver or a world famous actor as a child.

Though the biting winds sent a chill through your bones, the sun shone down upon you, rays reflecting off of the icy pavements on your route to work. The weather really couldn't make it's mind up recently. It reminded you of someone.

"Minho, hi! You're early!" you grinned, poking your head out of your scarf that you had wrapped securely around your neck. He seemed to brighten your day even further, as cheesy as it sounded. It was the way he bantered with you, back and forth, exciting you for what witty statement he'd come out with next.

"Visitor's Day, remember?" Minho simply commented, a cloud of air escaping his mouth as his teeth chattered, hands shoved deeply into his coat pockets.

"Oh, I nearly forgot!" your eyebrows furrowed in concern, your own hands digging around your pockets for the schedule of the day. It was a fortnightly occurrence in which you'd accept visitors looking around, hoping to re-home the cats that deserved a place to feel safe, loved and looked after. In fact, it was how you met Minho.

Two years ago was when he first set foot into the establishment, quiet, demure and unfazed. That was, until he was led to the small huts outside where the cats resided. Sneaking out some treats from his pocket, he fed a gorgeous boy he soon named Dori, feeling an instant attachment (the two of them). He tried to find his way back inside, ready to sign some adoption papers, when he stumbled into what he thought was merely a stack of boxes, not initially realising that you were behind them and trying to haul them inside on your own.

"I'm so sorry!" you had gasped apologetically, immediately grabbing a broom to the side and sweeping the rogue pieces of kibble that had escaped it's confines.

"Eh, don't worry," Minho shrugged, trying to play it cool although he couldn't stop himself from giving you a quick scan from head to toe in case he had hurt you, "at least they're not being starved, it's reassuring," he added on, laughing through his nose as he straightened up the boxes of cat food.

"You should see Gingy, he's a chonky boy," you jokes, brushing your hair out of your face and glancing up at him. All you could think was, and later you berated yourself for it, but the cat that got to go home with this one was certainly lucky.

"Oh? What if he heard that?" Minho teases, wondering if you'd feign the dramatics, or even get flustered at the idea.

"He knows," you shake your head and chuckle, making a smarter decision now in only grabbing one box.

"Oh, sorry did you need any-"

"Did you want some help with-"

Comically, you both fell silent simultaneously, feeling awkward that you had spoken over and cut off each other at the same time.

"I'll grab a box," Minho speaks up, moving to stand beside you.

"Oh thank you! That's a great help, truly. I was just going to ask if you wanted those adoption papers," you practically beamed.

"How could you tell?"

"You've got some blue fluff on you. That's from Lilo's hut."

"Actually, his name is Dori."

And when you found out Minho had two other cats and the reasoning behind the name 'Dori', you melted instantly. On the spot. Like, literally on the floor had it not been for the rational part of your brain telling you to stop falling for a man you had just met. Minho's sweet Dori completed his little cat family, the soft, gentle trio of boys.

To say you were Minho's biggest advocate when he admitted to wanting to help out and work alongside you at the Cat Rescue, would be completely right. You had brought him straight to your parents, informing them of how knowledgeable and tender he was in interacting with the cats and the rest was history.

Although, that wasn't where this story ended.

"Did you also forget the key?" Minho snapped you out of your reverie.

"Huh? What- no, here," you grasped the key and eagerly gave it to Minho, unsure if your fingers would have the strength to unlock the door, locking up from the inhumanely cold temperatures.

"Ah, she did remember," Minho smirked, soon having to catch his balance after you impulsively shoved his shoulder a bit too hard with your own.

"Unlock the door, pudding boy," you joked, Minho rolling his eyes in response. He could never let you have the upper hand for too long, however.

"I prefer jagi," he batted his eyelashes at you in an over the top way, making you groan and cover your eyes as a form of protection. You loved it really, you just weren't sure on if you should show it.

Minho had told you many times before that you wore your heart on your sleeve. Whether it was you recklessly running into the middle of the road to save a kitten from being hit, or spending your savings on allowing a family the chance to adopt a cat into their lives, you acted upon your love for others. On the other hand, he knew he was too scared to show you how he really felt. Banter, jokes, 'fake' flirting was the perfect cover up to distract him from his feelings, as well as the ones he hadn't yet recognised you shared.

Oddly, there was an awkwardness in the air between the two of you by the end of the day. Perhaps it was the elderly pair who commented on your selflessness as a couple, or seeing many young partners enter and adopt their first pet together. It triggered emotions within you both that had remained hidden for too long. You weren't just good friends, but you were made for each other. The love of cats; the gentleness you exuded and he let slip more often than he'd like to admit and the ease in which you both took in pushing the others' buttons.

Minho always thought you were bolder than him.

"Do you ever think we'll find love, Minho?" you yawned, sweeping up the remnants of dirt that had escaped the many pairs of shoes that entered the home today.

"We?" Minho paused, his grip on the mop slipping ever so slightly before he regained his composure, "I'm not really searching."

Of course he wasn't, not when-

"But is that because you’ve already found it? I don’t want to be bold but-" you nearly scolded yourself for daring to speak when your mind was all over the place.

"That would shock me if you weren’t," Minho snorted, easily falling back into his natural self.

"I'm being real, right now, Min," you squeezed your eyes shuts, back facing him and not wanting to face rejection.

"That's good, here's me thinking you were an illusion all along-"

"Just take a chance, Minho! With me. I-if it doesn’t work out, then we’ll still be friends, we’ll figure it out," you glanced over at him cautiously. Whilst your words were rushed and fumbly, your actions were timid.

Minho's brain malfunctioned. Is this what it felt like to have a stroke? Did you just confess your love for him? Wasn't it just another bit of banter?

"We're friends?" he teased, in that tone he always used. It now felt like a painful reminder, that you'd never truly get through to him. Really, he was testing the waters, and masking it as usual.

"I wish you would just be honest with me," you sighed quietly, your posture slightly hunched. Minho didn't like that. He liked when you stood tall, confident, proud.

"About what? I haven’t lied about anything," Minho busied himself with mopping the floor in order to distract himself from you. As long as he could see the shine in the wooden flooring panning across the entrance of the home, it was enough to put the aside the guilt he felt when the sparkle in your eye dimmed ever so slightly.

The days seemed to drag on endlessly after the unspoken rejection from the guy you had been crushing on for years, now. He hadn't opened up with you in a while - that's the shop we're talking about, not Minho and his thoughts and feelings. He hadn't ever really done that with you, minus a couple of short, rare occasions. Your parents had noticed the slight dullness that seemed to tie the two of you together, it taking a lot of convincing from them to you to lead another Visitor's Day with Minho. The only convincing factor for you in that moment had been when you drifted off into your own thoughts, fading away from the lecture you were receiving and instead finding comfort in the fact that it would be a busy day. There would be no time to think when you were working.

But when it came to the end of both of your shifts? Too much time to think, to dwell, to ponder.

"Well, umm, bye," you nodded politely at him and robotically waved with how stiff you felt in looking at him. Yet it seemed to give ample opportunity for Minho to grab your hand and pull you back towards him before you could rush away, just like he had regrettably done all those evenings ago.

"Oh, what's this about?" you questioned, praying that your hands didn't start getting clammy simply from being so close to him in this way.

"We're going on a date," Minho firmly stated, but his words didn't match his actions, his eyes shyly trailing off to the side and the tops of his ears turning red. How endearing.

"No."

"No?!"

"You can look me in the eyes and say it."

Oh, yes, he had definitely gotten lucky with you. Even though his heart pounded in worry that you would reject him too and he would have been too late, he was able to look you in the eyes and throw a one liner right back at you.

"Hmm, maybe I change my mind," Minho shrugged, feigning a carelessness and dropping his hand from yours.

"Hey! Come on!" you pulled him back towards you, chest to chest, an intense amount of love pouring from both of your souls as you gazed into each others' eyes.

"I'm taking you on a date," Minho affirmed, poking your nose to startle you before you realised he too had been on another planet.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

tagged: @skz-streamer @kiraisastay @katzline @kiwihrt @arloo00 @dunno-wut-to-do @splat00z @his-angell @2minstan @skzoologist @lovingchan @atinyniki @writingforstraykids @minholing @lilmisssona @astraysimp @lixie-phoria @theo4eve @linoalwaysknows @royal-shinigami @jolly04 @turtledove824 @yangbbokari @thisrandomgoofy15 @lieslab @hannamoon143 @arumlilyeclipse

[minkiverse]

PARK SEONGHWA FIC RECS

Poly!Ateez Pt. 1 - Pt. 2 - Kim Hongjoong - Jeong Yunho - Kang Yeosang - Choi San - Song Mingi - Jung Wooyoung - Choi Jongho

HWA TIME!! A man who is so earth shatteringly gorgeous of course gets written incredibly by atiny 😩 like this man is just art!! As always, I hope you enjoy and support these authors!!

Dividers by @iluvpooks

DISCLAIMER none of these works are mine and majority are MATURE 18+, please read all warnings before reading!!!

Key:

✨ - My Favs

🔥 - Smut (MINORS DNI)

⛈️ - Angst

💗 - Fluff

🍑 - Humor

SERIES

New Horizons - @fivestar-outlaw 🔥⛈️💗 Idol AU

this is just the cutest series!! like meeting him through animal crossing is the most adorable meet cute i want to cry 😭😭 we all deserve a lil bit of delusion as a treat asfgdssfgdf

The Way to His Heart - @edenesth ⛈️💗Joseon Period ✧ Arranged Marriage AU

im a big BIG fan of historical au's and i just loved reading hwa falling for the mc and then doing everything he can to destroy the people that hurt her 😩😩 that kind of devotion is just soooooooo attractive😍😍 it kinda reminds me of the anime My Happy Marriage (which i did not finish OTL) but if you enjoyed that i think you will love this~~

Wallflower pt. 2 pt. 3 pt. 4 - @tenelkadjowrites 🔥⛈️💗 Office AU

seonghwa is mc's nerdy coworker but boy can he fuck 😩😩😩 the smut in this is 🤌🤌 but honestly this fic is so much more than that and how the mc changes and grows as a person because of hwa's influence is so enjoyable to read i just love them 🥹🥹

Sans - @songmingisthighs ⛈️💗🍑 SMAU ✧ Childhood Friends AU

this author really knows how to break my heart 😭😭😭 definitely be aware of trigger warnings for some chapters!!! but this fic was also so wholesome?? like i just love the mc and how they grow from the events of the story 🥹🥹 SPECIAL SHOUTOUT TO SAN AND WOO!!!!

ONE SHOTS/DRABBLES/ETC

sycophant - @ncteez ✨🔥 Business AU

there will always be boss x employee fics BUT this take on it 🤌🤌🤌 hwa is just so attractively straight forward and him teaching the mc on how to dom him is truly just so fucking hot i could scream 😩😩

Untitled - @thetypingpup 🔥 Hybrid AU

The Thing About Pretty Boys - @wonusite ✨🔥 Friends to Lovers AU

never say seonghwa can't fuck.... or maybe do bcs this man goes fucking feral 😵‍💫😵‍💫 i had like a full body physical reaction to how hwa is written in this fic 😩😩 like this is so filthy in the hottest way possible

Dune - @hongism 🔥 Outlaw AU ✧ Biker AU

Untitled - @orgverse 🔥 Sci-fi AU

Warning Signs EP. 1: The Showman - @mphountitled 🔥Rebellion AU

Everyday at the Bus Stop - @tenelkadjowrites 🔥💗

persistent desire - @bro-atz 🔥 College AU

Untitled - @k-hotchoisan 🔥

Red Dress - @wooyoungiewritings ✨🔥⛈️💗 Enemies to Lovers AU

i love a holiday/winter themed fic ok sue me 🫵🫵 its just COZY and this hwa drives me up the wall 😩😩 he's such a charming lil shit and the banter is soooooo good 🫠🫠 i looooooooove this couple!!!!!!!

Scattered bunny!seonghwa thoughts - @thetypingpup 🔥 Hybrid AU

Morning sex with Seonghwa - @k-hotchoisan 🔥

Untitled - @sxcret-garden 🔥

realistic sex with seonghwa - @byuntrash101 🔥

VIP Access - @hwashotcheeto 🔥 Idol AU

multiple??? - @lomlhwa 🔥 Hybrid AU

I Can See You - @daemour 🔥⛈️💗 Single Father!Hwa

Untitled - @thetypingpup 🔥 Hybrid AU

heavy and sticky - @k-hotchoisan 🔥

Untitled - @cheollipop 🔥

Untitled - @thetypingpup 🔥

belong to me - @ateezscupid 🔥⛈️ Idol AU

Untiled - @thetypingpup 🔥 Dragon!Teez ✧ Sugar Mommy AU

Untitled - @bombuni 💗

Honest (But Happy) Accident - @ad0rechuu 💗College AU

amazing grace - @yoongiseesawmp3 🔥⛈️💗 Church Boy!Hwa

Untitled - @thetypingpup 🔥 Bad Boy!Hwa

paradigm - @yoongiseesawmp3 ✨🔥 Bartender AU

switch!hwa nuff said 🤤🤤🤤 no but how this author does banter is just so good like idk even know how explain it because it feels so natural and charming and the smut is so fucking good like im in love with hwa and the mc ?????

The Heart's Filthy Lesson - @tenelkadjowrites 🔥⛈️ Toxic BFF!Hwa

Untitled - @hee0soo 🔥

Damnation of a Saint - @byuntrash101 🔥 7 Deadly Sins AU

My Little Empress - @holybibly 🔥 Historical AU ✧ Arranged Marriage AU

the lamb and the wolf - @seonghwaddict 🔥💗 Hades!Hwa

Make Me Water - @bangtanintotheroom 🔥 Friends to Lovers AU

Untitled - @thetypingpup 🔥 Cyberpunk AU

mirror mirror on the wall, who's the filthiest of them all - @almightyddeonghwa 🔥 Idol AU

boyfriend texts - @beenbaanbuun 🍑

[flopsxii]

the real world — haitani rindou

in which rindou harbours feelings for his favourite nurse in the juvenile detention centre.

note: reader and rindou are 18 <3 just a lil short one cause i got bored on the train xoxo

“this is your fourth visit this week.” you mumbled, eyes grazing over each and every new wound he’d been given. “it’s only wednesday, rindou.” you reminded him but his face remained nonchalant as ever, blank eyes boring into yours but you could read him like no one else; he missed you.

“you can’t keep picking fights in the rec yard… one day you’re going to end up on a stretcher.” you spoke gently, hoping not cause offence. he laughed at that, “are you underestimating me, y/n-chan?”

you furiously shook your head in response, reminding him that it was your job to care about his wellbeing, in case he just so happened to forget. “that may be true, but you take care of me the most out of anyone else. i’d say you’re doing a lot more than your job.” his hands gently intertwined with your own as sultry words fell from his lips.

he was correct, of course he was. you had begun your job almost four months ago now, a recently turned 18 year old and now working in a juvenile detention centre under your step fathers supervision. you had caught rindou’s eye ever since your first encounter; no one had ever treated him as gently as you did. not only did you clean him up, you also asked questions about him. he was sure that you didn’t know that nurses and inmates didn’t communicate that much outside of health related topics.

seeing you was refreshing and had become somewhat of a safe space for rindou. even if he did have to get battered by several other juveniles just to be able to see you. in any other circumstance, getting purposefully wounded would definitely deflate his ego but he had incentive; seeing your gorgeous face after his royal beating in the yard.

you squeezed his hands before speaking, “i don’t like seeing you hurt…”, rindou knew he probably shouldn’t be provoking other inmates to beat him up just to see you but really, what other choice did he have?

“‘m not hurt.” he grumbled back before flashing you a grin, and kissing your lips gently to ease your nerves. before you could pull away and retort, rindou had snaked his hands to the base of your neck, pulling on the silky strands of hair making it impossible to pull away. he snuck a few more kisses in before allowing you to speak.

“do you think…” you paused, swallowing nervously, “if we had met out in the real world, would you have liked me?”

rindou’s mouth gaped wide open, surely he should be asking you that! you were perfect in every way and on top of that, you found space in your heart to accommodate rindou and all his darkness. you were truly incredible.

he kissed your lips once more, this time lingering as he did so; “id have loved you no matter when or where we met, y/n-chan. i love you too much for any of that to matter.”

[ahsxual]

Hi! Your writing is wonderful, and I wanted to wish you the best of luck on your exams in advance 🥰 could you imagine the stoic Sang-woo proposing to his girlfriend? Idk the idea of him being in a relationship and coming to terms with his emotions fascinates me. Thanks!

Sweet Proposal

Pairing: Cho Sang-woo x GN!Reader

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 2,2k

A/N: Awww thank you, dear anon! I truly appreciate your kind words, it means the world to me 🥺💓 I have to say that I agree with you and I absolutely loved your idea for this request! I hope you enjoy my writing and I wish you the best <33 I wrote this request a long time ago and never posted it idk why, but here goes (my apologies🥺)

You and Sang-woo have been dating a few years now: you met him through his mother, the woman who you visited everytime you passed by her store and who you always bought something fresh to eat. Her products were of great quality, besides the fact that she was the kindest woman you have ever met in your entire life. She treated you like her own daughter/son, and since you lived by yourself in south korea, you really appreciated having someone who you could count on. Whenever you had a bad day, you would tell her and she would help you by giving you the best advices from her life experience, so your relationship was pretty close. Until one day, her son visited her, and that's when you met the love of your life.

"Good morning, miss Cho!" you greeted your second mother as you liked to call her, only for her to turn to you with the biggest smile and bright eyes on her face, as always. However, this time she had company.

"Oh, my sweet Y/N! Come here sweetie, please let me introduce you my wonderful son, Cho Sang-woo!" she seemed so excited, in contrast to her son who seemed pretty serious and uncomfortable with the whole situation.

"Hey." he simply said with a low, yet neutral tone, making you realize that he was quite the opposite from his mother: she shined even in the darkest days, while he somehow brings darkness wherever he goes to. But the fact that he had such a hard personality to deal with and understand, instead of pushing you away, only made you even more curious about that mysterious man. Besides the fact that he is incredibly handsome, but that's another story.

"Hey there! I'm L/N Y/N, nice to meet you." you put your hand in front of him so you wouldn't be just standing there looking awkwardly at each other. He looked at it for a second, before taking it and shaking it gently, like he was afraid to break your way smaller hand.

"I'm so happy you finally met my son! I'm sure you two will get along just perfectly!" her joy was contagious, yet her own son didn't seem to let his mother's charm get to him. You heard her talking about her amazing son so many times, saying how he was a kind man, and extremely intelligent and responsible. Yet, here he is, looking like his life was a complete chaos.

"Yeah, I'm sure we will." you answered shyly, only for him to look at you with a surprised expression. You simply smiled at him, making him blush slightly at your cuteness.

Now you are in bed with your soulmate by your side, watching him sleep peacefully: who would have known you two would get here? Together?? You didn't know the right answer for that as well, but the truth is that life can really surprise you.

You were Sang-woo’s first love: the only person who stood with him no matter how many problems he had, both professionally and psychologically. You would never give up on him, and that's what made him realize you were the love of his life, the soulmate he was unconsciously looking for so desperately. No one would ever guessed, but one of Sang-woo’s main goals in his life is creating a family who loved and supported him until the end, to feel the happiness and comfort of waking up every day next to his significant other. However, before meeting you, his problem was that he never had the patience or motivation to find love or to continue to please his possible partner until they fell for him. No, he wanted to focus on his professional career first, the rest just being mere details. What made him fall for you, was your dedication to be with him and build a promising life by his side, supporting him and helping him whenever he needed: you were also the first and only person who he told about his fears, insecurities and feelings about certain topics, but only after a few, long months of building trust and courage. And you did the same: you considered him your best friend, because he always helped you with the most racional advices, which were the best in your opinion.

After a few minutes of analyzing lovingly every feature that you knew so well of your loved one, you noticed him moving slightly and groaning from waking up from his precious sleep.

"Good morning, tough guy." you joked, only to receive a confused expression from him just before he rolled his reddish eyes and laugh at the nickname.

"Good morning, babe." his voice was so deep that it made you have inappropriate thoughts, however you knew he was too tired for it right now. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yes, I actually did. As for you, I think I don't even have to ask." you laughed at his still sleepy state, before putting your legs over him and hug his long torso. He pulled you closer, closing the space that separated your hungry lips before kissing you slowly, yet with the perfect amount of passion and love.

"Yeah, I really needed to rest my mind and body from yesterday." you shyly laughed at him before hitting his arm when he reminded you from your passionate love session from the night before.

"You silly!" the moment you called him that, he rolled you over so he could be on top.

"Call me that again and see what happens." he warned you with a serious face, yet you knew him better. He was obviously messing with you, and you would be lying if you said you didn't like his demanding behavior.

"Can you join me in the shower, babe? Please?" you decided to change the subject, giving him the pleading look that you knew he couldn't resist.

"Yeah, sure." he smiled before giving you a quick kiss on the lips. "Just wait for me, I'll be right back."

"Ok, I'll wait for you." you gave him a last peck on his lips, before making your way to the bathroom, unconscious of what was coming for you.

That day your boyfriend invited you to dinner at a fancy restaurant, so you thought it would be a simple date like the many you've had before. But this time, he had promising plans for you and your future together, something you weren't expecting to happen so soon. It was already 7:30 pm, so he called you to hurry so you could be on time at the restaurant.

"I'm coming!" you warned your handsome boyfriend, before you appeared in front of him dressing your favorite date outfit that he bought you a few days ago.

"You look gorgeous, sweetheart." his eyes were full of love, admiration and pride for you, making your heart melt with happiness. You felt so loved at that moment... you still couldn't believe you were dating that man.

"Thank you, love. Let's go." you thanked him, before leaving your house and walk to get into his expensive black car.

You and Sang-woo arrived at the restaurant 15 minutes earlier, so you took your time to sit at your reserved table. The restaurant was outstanding: everyone was dressed nicely and the environment was peaceful and romantic; it was an expensive and well known restaurant from your city, which made you feel important. You also felt really happy to know that your boyfriend took you on a date at a very welcoming and beautiful place: it meant that he really loved you and makes a real effort to build up your relationship by changing your routine from time to time, which was healthy for both of you.

A few hours passed and you talked about everything and anything: your plans for your future together, funny stories that happened in your childhood that you didn't know about, how work was going and who are the people you like or dislike... it was a really nice, yet nostalgic and interesting conversation. After that, he insisted to pay your dinner. You felt bad, so he promised next time you could pay, which you knew he was lying.

When you left the restaurant, hand in hand, he told you that his plans for that night weren't done yet.

"I need you to do something for me, honey." your future husband said as soon as you entered the car. You looked at him suspiciously, waiting for whatever was coming. "Close your eyes." he simply said.

"What? Why would you-"

"Just trust me, ok? It's not like I'll kidnap you or something." he made sure to use his sarcasm to relax you a little bit, indirectly telling you that he wasn't going to do anything bad.

"I wouldn't mind if you did so." your sassy comment made him laugh quietly, before you closed your eyes and heard his car running.

Minutes passed and you were starting to get bored with having your eyes closed for so long. At least his strong grip on your inner thigh kept you entertained during the car trip. Suddenly, you felt the car stop slowly, and that's when you realized you had finally arrived at your destination. You were about to open your eyes, when you felt a smack on your thigh.

"Ah! I didn't say you could open your eyes already, did I?" his demanding tone made you internally scream and blush hard, but you needed to remain calm to not lead things to another way, since you didn't want to ruin the plans he made for you.

He helped you getting out of the car, before putting his hand on your waist to guide you to the place where he would make the big proposal.

"Open your eyes, love." he whispered into your ear. The moment you opened your eyes, tears instantly made their way to your warm cheeks: you could watch and admire each star on the sky, shining in your direction; it was full moon night, which made you think that Sang-woo chose this specific night for that reason; in front of you, you could also see and hear the calm and relaxing dark-blue sea moving at a slow and therapeutical pace. It was the most romantic moment you ever had and even imagined. You were too focus on the ocean and the brilliant stars above you, that you didn't even notice what was written on the sand: "Will you marry me, Y/N?" was written in huge and well marked letters. This made your heart beat at an incredibly fast pace and your vision to go blurry due to the emotional warm tears that wanted to escape from your eyes.

"Baby, what's all of thi-" when you turned around in hope that the man of your life would explain what was happening at that moment, even tho you knew already, you saw him kneeling instead, looking at you nervously with a small black box on his hands which contained a shining ring inside.

"L/n Y/n, I know I'm not the best lover sometimes due to my emotionless personality, however you liberate a more loving, caring and passionate side of me that I never knew I could have until I met you. I never thought I could be so in love with someone... and to be honest, I didn't even know what was love before I kissed you for the first time. I'm sorry for all the times I made you upset, but I promise I'll be a better person for you. So... will you marry me, my love?" you never saw your boyfriend being so open with his feelings, not even towards you, so you knew this was extremely hard for him and that all what he was saying was the pure truth. Also for the first time you noticed Sang-woo cry in front of you, even though he remained with a neutral facial expression.

Deep inside, you knew he feels a lot, he just used this "mask" to hide his vulnerability and pretend he is emotionless. But with you, he doesn't feel the need to pretend to be strong all the time. And that's when he realized it was you who he was going to marry and spend the rest of his life with.

You couldn't help but cry in front of him, his action caughting you by surprise, in a good sense.

"Of course my love, of course I will marry you!! There is nothing I desire more than to have you as my husband." he smiled until his cheeks started to get sore: this moment was unique and special for both of you. You always made him forget any pain he might feel. He quickly stood up and picked up into his arms, spinning you over and over again until you both felt almost dizzy.

That night was unforgettable for both of you, and now that you had a wedding ring on your finger, you couldn't think about anything else than stepping onto the altar and marry the man of your dreams.

[toomiieimagiines]

hihihi

uhm so am i allowed to request again (i don’t wanna spam) 😭😭🙏

and if i am can u pls do a rui x hopeless romantic best friend reader (i’m totally normal about best friends to lovers lmfao)

so like the reader is always yapping about hot guys and it’s a little angsty at first because rui is thinking to himself ‘why did i have to fall inlove with someone that won’t ever choose me’ and then one day a hot guy comes up to reader and asks her out, reader is about to say yes but then she realises that she barely knew him and there was someone (rui) who had been by her side since day one and she figures out who she really loves (RUIII) so she rejects him and when rui asks why she just hugs him and says ‘because your the one i really want’ mwah mwah i feel like such a genius (i really hope this made sense lmao be prepared for a million bestie-> lovers and angst-> fluff rui requests 😼)

thank youyoyoyoyoyuuu!!

hi guys! i’m so so incredibly sorry for how inactive i have been! unfortunately, the fanfic writer curse caught up to me, and i’ve had considerably bad things happen to me! ToT

i had developed a really bad addiction after a recent episode - which may be why i’ve loved to write my characters so miserable, but they get a happy ending in the end - and have recently relapsed after a couple months. i’ve also been struggling with a lot of things, like being bullied again, pressure from theater, classes, autism, parental issues, memory of past trauma, having no friends, things like that. i’ve just been having a really hard time, so writing has been super difficult for me. i’m currently having some of the worst mental health in my life, and am un-recovering from other things i’ve had in the past too, after seeing the results of my recovery. sorry if this triggered anybody, i just needed to get this off my chest, and felt also that i should explain where i have been. you all supporting me has kept me going, and i hope you enjoy this one too! LETS END THE PITY PARTY!!!

in other - not so depressing news - here you guys go!! sorry for OOCness, obviously this is a more dramatic approach to a story! happy ending, j tried to write the inner narration differently for how you two were feeling at the time.. and ty once again for such a great idea, mama ^3^

“I don’t think I could stand to be where you don’t see me.”

If he has to sit here and listen to this one more time, he thinks he’ll go insane.

Rui Kamishiro loves you. He truly does. You’re his best friend, his partner in crime, his-

Never mind.

Rui loves you, but he absolutely HATES your taste in guys, and it’s driving him nuts. Nodding and agreeing can only get him so far before he wants to rip his own hair out, and tonight is no exception.

“I give up! All boys are dumb, I don’t need them!” You lament, resting your chin in your hands. It’s the same song and dance over and over. You swear off boys, you get attention, you get sucked in, and he has to pick up the pieces when it inevitably fails. How many times has he thought about how much better he would treat you now? He doesn’t know. He’d be a classical lover, he’d never speak to you the way those stupid unprincipled high school boys do.

Gross. That’s his best friend, why’d he think that? And when did he start being so self confident? He really outta look at himself in the mirror. What an egomaniac he’s turning out to be.

He shakes his head.

“You do know I’m still a boy, right?” He prods, trying to cheer you up. He knows this situation well, and he knows exactly how to make you feel better. Again he’d pull you out of this, and again he’d watch you fall in love.

He wishes you could be happy. He wishes you weren’t in love with being in love. You’re too pure for true love, love is disgusting, depraved, and unkind. You’re not anything like that.

“I know, I know, but you’re the only good one!” You point, words self-assured. “I don’t need a boyfriend, you do everything boyfriendy for me anyway!”

Ouch. Thanks a lot, that’s exactly what he needed to hear right now. He’s not gonna dwell on that last bit for now, he’ll wait until he’s home. Then he can- he doesn’t know. Cry, or something juvenile like that.

“So I’m back-up-boyfriend?” He masks himself in jest, smiling teasingly at you.

“Eh, maybe,” you snicker, “you’d definitely be cute if you weren’t my friend.”

He turns to his school work sharply, trying to mask his complete and utter despair. Ugh, why does he have to be so dramatic? His own personality makes his skin crawl with disgust and hatred, and that only makes him cringe more. He could think about how obnoxious he is all day. Maybe he should use that go home and cry pass early. He pretends to check the time, as if that isn’t all he’s been doing.

“It’s getting late, after this problem I should get going.” He mutters, scribbling some random numbers into his notebook. You yawn in response, being broken out of absentmindedly scrolling through your phone.

“Ugh, I wish you didn’t have to go!” You drape an arm over his torso, trying to hold him in. He smiles fondly, wrestling to get you off of him.

“I’d have to walk home in the dark then, do you want that?” He knows you’d never let him, and he sees it immediately.

Your face looks knowing, and you let him go right away. It amuses him at first, but quickly fills him with overwhelming pity. You’re so kindhearted it makes him sick. You shouldn’t worry about someone like him, it’s bad for your health.

“Would you like me to walk home with you?!” You shoot up, the idea of him not being safe running through your head. Maybe he should’ve kept his mouth shut. How emasculating! He’s not a helpless young girl! He’s just as manly as those boys who you long for, he’s not a puppy to be walked!

God, is jealously turning him into a bigot? He shakes his head once again, this time not just to clear his thoughts. He’s absolutely not letting you walk him home, it’d be mortifying. He takes your attention belly up, you should have a break. Maybe some time to yourself for a change? God, Rui, get a grip.

“I’m fine, I don’t want you out late by yourself either,” he assures, looking at you in haste.

“Ah. You have a point.”

“I always do.” He means more to that, and he wishes he could tell you. He wants you to see that even he knows what he’s talking about. He needs you to see him, just for once. Not as a best friend, or backup boyfriend, just as a regular one. As a lover who dances in the rain, or ties your shoes

He needs to stop. He shouldn’t think about you like that. It’s lecherous.

You two exchange goodbyes, giving him a long hug (much to his horror). He hates how feverish it is it hold you like this, it makes him feel guilty. His body gets hot, his cheeks flare up, his throat feels tight- it makes him feel like a pervert, even if his thoughts are the farthest thing from lewd.

He feels that everything he thinks about you is repulsive, though.

“Be safe”’s and “See you later”’s are passed between you two, and he walks down your front steps, now completely alone. His eyes scan the damp pavement, seeing the golden hues from the sky light the boring rock. That’s how he feels about you, he decides. You’re the sun, and he’s the pavement. He humors himself by thinking that your suitors are the clouds, stopping you from shining your light for him so he can grow weeds in the cracks of his soul. That’s what these feelings are. Weeds.

He wants to live life beautifully with you, he decides. He wants to tie your shoes, he wants to twirl you as you dance.

He wishes he could be the moon. Something of consequence- of importance, but he’s just the pavement. Not the earth, not the stars, not the clouds, or rain, he’s just a man made monster who destroys nature - you - and is walked over by people who do matter.

He should quit being this way, he grumbles, it doesn’t do anybody any good to be so flowery. He’s too girly- too weak. Maybe that’s why you don’t like him. If you’re willing to date anything that moves other than him, that must mean he’s on a completely new level, huh?

That’s what dreaming gets you, Rui. Crushed dreams and embarrassment.

He lets out a pitiful sigh, kicking a pebble with his shoe. He sees a worm in a lawn which reminds him of himself, he sees a couple shopping for a new game which reminds him of you, he sees a convenience store which reminds him that he’s hungry-

His life can be so mundane sometimes, what a drag.

He’s about to reach his front door, when he steps into a puddle. It feels like an appropriate representation of his life right now. A sense of disgraceful hilarity washes over him, and he begins to laugh. He laughs a while, he laughs as he takes his shoes off, he laughs as he peels his button up down, and he laughs as he lays in his bed. How dramatic he could be some times!

He falls asleep quickly. He has a dream about being on stage and forgetting his lines.

He wakes up with a thud, he fell out of bed. How embarrassing. He decides to check his phone.

Weirdo: RUII

Weirdo: wanna hang w me 2day?? u don’t have dance time right??

Weirdo: gonna kill you. WAKE UP

Me: I’m awake, sorry!

Weirdo: finally sleeping beauty

Weirdo: wanna get a snack? i’m simply starved…

Me: When?

Weirdo: an hr maybe…

Me: Okay :) I’ll tell you when I leave.

Weirdo: kay!!

He really doesn’t feel like being social today, but he’d never pass up an opportunity to see you. He’s an obscene degenerate when it comes to you, pouncing on your attention like a sick dog. It’s mortifyingly pathetic.

He gets dressed, throwing on a boring striped sweater. It’s getting colder outside recently, and he’s always ran cold anyway. His hands are shaky and nervous as he brushes his teeth, the anxiousness to see you making his body jittery. He considers breakfast, but quickly shuts the idea down. He doesn’t want to be stressed out - at least more than he already is - when he sees you. Twitchy hands lock his door, and he gets a few feet away before he double checks that he did, in fact, lock it. Pull yourself together, Rui! He screams at himself.

The walk is just as unexciting as he expected, albeit a bit chilly. He’s feeling thankful for the sweater. The breeze runs its hands through his hair, and he’s reminded that winter is coming. He always liked Autumn flowers the best, hibiscus flowers are pretty too, he supposes. It’s nice to have the warmth of the sun soothing his cold hands during summer, for sure.

He trips over a rock on the way, and his pants get wet on the knees. Khaki blends into an ugly brown, and he sighs. How unlucky, would anything go right for him today?

Turns out it will, you look really good today.

You great him at the door, practically buzzing with eagerness. It makes him smile, knowing that you do, in fact, want to see him. Or at least are acting like it. You’re a good friend to him, he’s lucky to have you.

“Rui!” You hug him as a greeting, wrapping your arms tightly around his waist. His heart soothes, eyes closing in relaxation. Problems feel obscure and distant when you two are like this, despite his reluctance last night. He can forget about corrupt feelings - or misguided love- and he can just be your best friend. Despite his apprehension to be cared for, he is flattered that you, at least, seem to like him.

“Hey.” He breaths you in, his voice soft. He hopes you don’t notice, it’s embarrassing.

“Hey!” You reply, pulling away. “Big things planned, Rui!”

“What big things?” He asks, amused. “Big things” for you were junk food and shopping.

“Big things! It’s a surprise!” You put your shoes on, and he can’t help but feel jealous as he watches your hands tie them dutifully. He sighs, stretching. He decides to make it a challenge to act normal the whole day. No weird thoughts are going to beguile his mind, he promises himself.

You lock your front door, twisting the knob to make sure that it did, in fact, lock. This fills him with a child-like sense of delight, maybe you two really were similar.

Nah, not possible. You’re too pure - too perfect. Ugh, Rui, no more stupid thoughts.

He watches you check the time, make a face at a nearby bird, and cover your cheeks with your hands. You suddenly perk up, wrapping your arms around him.

“Warm me up, will ya?” You scowl at the cool air, grip tightening. He gulps. It’s weird he reacts like this, considering you two have done things like this all the time. It’s normal, so why does he have to be such a creep? His arms wrap around yours, running his hands up and down to create heat.

“Should’ve worn a jacket,” he chides, “wouldn’t be cold, y’know?” His voice is so casual, like everything is totally fine. It is fine. Fine, fine, fine.

“Gotta look good. I’m on the hunt, obviously,” you joke. It isn’t funny to him, but he lets out a laugh.

“You’re hopeless.”

You two stop at a convenience store first, and you all but sprint to the drinks. He had this ritual down to a science. You grab two different color slushies, and he grabs whatever odd snack catches your collective stomachs eye today. Today the two of you decide to split a cookie, and walk to the counter. The cashier gives you a smirk, and he averts his eyes.

“This it?” The boy cocks his head, and you get the memo. You immediately jump on the opportunity.

“Mhm!” You wink, resting your chin in your hands while leaning against the counter. In all honestly, he wasn’t even that cute. At least, that’s what Rui kept telling himself.

“Don’t worry about it, than. I got you guys,” he waves you off. Score! You think, but he adds. “If I can get your number.” Rui feels like falling into the floor, how awkward! You just scribble it onto a stray receipt, winking.

“Thank you! You’re the sweetest!!” You singsong, skipping along with Rui following suite. You immediately burst into laughter, throwing a fake punch at Rui. “What a weirdo! Like I’d call him over what, 1000 yen?! I don’t even know him, yuck!”

So you did have some sense, he feels like letting out a sigh of relief. You hold your hands out.

“Which one do you want? I got your favorite!!” You look so proud, and he wants to laugh. His “favorite” isn’t actually his favorite, but he’d never tell you that.

The lie started one day in middle school, when the two of you suddenly had a weird craving for slushies. When you picked them out, you had gotten a red one and a blue one, and asked him what he wanted. While he really didn’t like red, he knew you liked blue, so he said red. Now for the past four years, you’ve always ended up getting him a red one, thinking it was his favorite. He’ll deal with it for you. Seeing your blue tongue stick out with brain freeze is better than any sugary drink anyway.

“Red, duh.” He scoffs playfully, taking a sip of it. The taste doesn’t really bother him all that much anymore. It reminds him of you.

You always let him divide the snacks, thinking he gives himself the bigger half. He never does, but he eats slower so you think he did. You skip along, enjoying it.

“Y’know, this isn’t bad. Wish they had the brownie, though. That never does us wrong.” God, don’t make him think of the ‘crack brownies’ - as you two call them. Those are great, and he likes them, so you never miss an opportunity to shove them down his throat.

“Don’t complain. Remember the egg roll incident?” He points, laughing at the memory. You two steer clear of that section now, having gotten sick.

“Ugh, I haven’t thought about that in a while! I’m never eating an egg roll again after that day! Ugh,” you gag.

Moments of silly memories like this make him feel like he’s known you forever. He can’t even remember a moment where he hasn’t loved you.

“Where’re we going now, commander?” He salutes, following the trail of sunshine you left behind.

“Where ever the wind blows us, kind sir!” You salute back, pushing him along. Your constant checks of your phone don’t go unnoticed by him, and he fights the urge to roll his eyes.

“Who’re you texting? Don’t tell me it’s that guy.” He tries to sound casual, knocking his shoulder against yours playfully.

“‘M not a total idiot, I’ll have you know!” You huff, holding your phone to your chest. “It’s just somebody we went to school with a while back, ‘m seeing if I can pull the moves.”

“Do I know him?”

“Dunno, never saw you two talking, so maybe not. He was in my english class, remember, the only class we didn’t have together?”

“Ah.”

You two walk in silence, except for when he yanks you back from the collar so you don’t walk into oncoming traffic, which amuses you greatly. You two soon arrive at the small mall, and he tails you as you run with excitement. You two browse everything, constantly pointing out cute plushies, or interesting keychains.

“Rui, look! Look!” You shake him, pointing to the back of somebody’s head inconspicuously. “Wait don’t yet- Okay, now! He’s turning around! That’s the guy! What a coincidence we see him here, right? Do you recognize him?”

Ha. Yeah, he knows this guy. He definitely knows him. He’s the one who would trip him during passing periods, he’s the one who left flowers on his desk. They make eye contact, and it’s like all of his growth left his body. He’s just the same freak from middle school, he’s still thirteen.

He shudders at the guys smirk, sensing that he definitely knows that Rui knows him. He jogs over to the two of you, and Rui already knows what’s about to happen, due to the lopsided smile on your face.

Damnit, this is the first time he doesn’t think he can act like it’s okay.

“Oh wow, what a coincidence! Must be fate we run into each other like this, ehe…” You giggle awkwardly, a dumb expression gracing your face. It’s painful seeing you that way for anybody other than him, and he looks away awkwardly.

“Must be.” He answers, swaggering closer towards you. Rui thanks whatever God above because - despite his current situation - at least this asshole didn’t go to highschool with you guys.

He looks down at his shoes, and tries to shuffle away, knowing this jackass is about to say something. He’s quickly stopped.

“Who’s this, huh? Feel like a recognize him from somewhere…” He trails off, smirking through his nose as he turns his attention to him. “Have we met before?”

“This is Kamishiro Rui, he’s my friend! He went to middle school with us, remember?” You happily answer for him.

Ha, friend? What happened to back-up boyfriend? He’s a little hurt, to be honest.

He feels bitter, it’s unbecoming- God, he doesn’t care. He should feel bad for getting so angry over it, it’s not like you belong to him. He’s such a freak, getting attached to you like this.

He starts to pick at his fingers, then he plays with a loose string on his sweater. You two continue to chat like nothings wrong, and he keeps thinking. It’s something he’s gotten good at recently.

He stops feeling bad about himself for a second- a split second where he resents you, and wishes his pain upon you. Wants you to know what it’s like to be so disgustingly, guiltily, revoltingly obsessed with someone. In this split second, he can’t even find it in himself to feel guilty about it, which is unlike him. He wishes you felt love like this, that you were as psychotic about it.

But this doesn’t last long, because he remembers that he loves you more than anything. He’s lucky to be your friend. You’re a great friend, you’re an amazing person, you’re the sun, the sun, the sun.

He’s the pavement, he has to remember.

“I’m- I’ll leave you to it, y’know? Fabric store.” He stutters, choking on his voice. You don’t even notice, waving him off.

You do, however, remember to press his shoulder, uttering an absentminded “Okay, Rui, bye,” and he remembers again how perfect you are for doing it subconsciously. He lets himself feel the touch, long after he’s walked away. He deserves it after the trouble he’s reliving.

When he makes it to the fabric store - which he really didn’t need anything from, Nene had gotten some the other day - he can’t help himself from wishing he could just go home. Malls were always overwhelming already, and now his saving grace has the attention of another man. He walks through aisles, but realizes that he now has to buy something.

‘Least he knows that social cue, he laughs bitterly, running his hands across his face in frustration. He’s so ridiculous.

Meanwhile, you were chatting up a storm. It was your first time talking in person since middle school, after all! You feel giddy for a while, but it cuts abruptly. You feel a strange sense of urgency, something’s missing.

Oh, your best friend.

But where had he gone? You’re sure he was just here. You smile apologetically at the cute boy, putting on your best performance.

“Oh, I better go get my friend now. I don’t like walking home when it’s late. Was nice seein’ you, let’s hang out soon, ‘kay?” You singsong, stepping closer. You want to give yourself a pat on the back, you’re so cute.

He rolls his eyes, and you’re hit with a wave of uneasiness. That noise he made sounds strangely dismissive, he’s not the kind of guy to be a jerk though, you must be hearing things-

“Leave ‘im. Between you and me, he was a total freak in middle school. Probably is now, too. Probably likes you or somethin’, total nutcase.” His voice sounds so casual, like it’s not the douchiest thing you’ve heard all day.

You let other men walk all over you, sure. You let them cheat on you, lie, whatever. But you’re not about to stand here and insult Rui. He’s the only untouched thing in your life - the only person who isn’t cruel. He’s so gangly and awkward, but in the best way. You could live a million times and not be able to deserve him, at least you think so. He’s so unusual, and that’s what you love most about him. Little things like not liking loud lights, or liking the red slushies the best, make your heart buzzy with familiarity. He’s the one constant in your life.

You’ve been awfully worried about him recently, though. His particularly (as you like to call it) has gone to the an extreme, and it’s been a battle getting him to eat real food. You’re not blind, you see the way he’s been spacing out, or tapping a little too much. You just thought he’d been overwhelmed. He worries you to death sometimes, but despite all of his own struggles, he always seems to not care about it, deciding to always be there for you instead. Ah, he’s just such an amazing guy - no, not guy, he’s not anything like those other boys you talk to. He’d never insult someone like that. He’s not just a guy, he’s like your person.

Yeah, he’s definitely your person.

Your heart sputters at the thought, and you feel something you’ve never really felt before - save for hugs between the two of you that lasted just a second too long, or words a little too romantic. The feeling makes your mind fuzzy, and your heart hurt terribly with something you could only place as homesickness.

Oh.

“I,” you begin, backing away. “Yeah, I’m sorry but I’ll really be going now-“

“What? C’mon I was just messing with you, even though having guy friend’s kinda weird.” He rolls his eyes.

“Yeah whatever, I’ll call you back,” you say dismissively.

You’re totally lying, you laugh, you’re not calling him back.

He didn’t seem to like that.

“Damn, can’t even joke around with you people. Whatever, weirdo, sorry I insulted your little boyfriend.” The change in tone amuses you.

Yeah, good riddance, pal.

You turn away, walking through the mall with pace. It takes a while, but you spot him watching a pet stores aquarium.

He’s a funny one.

You wave your hands, trying to get his attention. He swallows, knowing that it’s probably to ask him if it’s cool to walk home by himself. Emotions are stupid, and ironically, you both think that at the same time.

“Rui! Rui! Hey c’mon, let’s go home, yeah?” You smile, face feeling warm. It’s a different feeling from when you usually talk to him. He looks at you, a little shocked. He had assumed you were smiling wide because you set up a date, so he turns his head.

“Where is he, huh?” He looks away, back to the fish tank. You shift in place, was he mad at you? You’re a little irritated at the mention of the guy, though, and huff.

“Don’t worry about that. Seems like I only attract douchebags, so I decided to go.” You explain, poking his shoulder. “Hey,” you start, “let’s just walk home, I wanna talk to you about something.” The idea makes you feel dizzy, but you’ll have to illustrate your feelings one day.

You can leave out the “I think I’m in love with you” part, you think.

The two of you walk in an excruciating silence, staring down at the reflection of the setting sun in the puddles. His heart tightens, remembering his earlier comparison. Even now, you’re so perfect. Even if he’s frustrated with you - despite you turning down the guy in the end (he doesn’t know why, he wanted to ask) - even if he’s ready to scream, and cry, and ask you what it is he did for you to be so turned off by him, he still thinks you’re the most heavenly, divine person to ever grace his view. He wants to be where you see him, he wants to be in your orbit.

“You’re like the sun-“ He blurts out, immediately regretting it. He didn’t mean to say that, God, he’s so fucking stupid. He sees you stop walking, smiling that same stupid, dopey, lopsided smile that he’s always so jealous of-

Oh. It’s for him.

He chokes, stopping to meet you eye-to-eye. You look up at him too, laughing giddily.

“What does that mean?”

He sputters, stepping away. “N-no it’s nothing- It was stupid anyway so-“

“No, tell me!” You urge, laughing a little harder. “What if it was something bad, ‘nd you were making fun of me? That’s not nice, Rui!”

“I- Hey-“ His voice goes a touch higher, a defensive tone rising. “That’s not-“

“Then tell me.”

“It’s just,” he breaths, trying to word it in the least creepy way possible. How does convey the fact that he sees you as a divine presence, that he sees himself as a worthless creature compared to you, without sounding like he’s hopelessly possessed by love for you? “I just- you’re so amazing,” he starts, “I thought of this stupid thing the other day when I was walking home - you know how I am - and well, I just thought of you when the sun reflected off the pavement - since it rained, y’know? - and well, it just- Sorry, it was dumb-“ He rambles, covering his face in anguish.

Nobody’s ever put that much thought into you. Sure, you’ve received a few ‘You’re so gorgeous’’s, where you’ve had to wonder where they learnt such a “big word”, but never something as poetic as that. The usual Rui-ratic explanation endeared you to him even more. You look at him, the smile never leaving. He’s just… so Rui. His stupid striped sweater, his half up hair - that you’d begged him to grow out - his eyes, whatever. Everything about him you treasure, and little do you know he cherished you even that more intensely.

“I think you’re the moon, Rui. Or maybe the earth, since I take care of you, hah!” You snicker, stepping closer to him. He takes a step back in return, and you grab his hands to make him stay put. His heart throbs, and he almost goes crashing down.

“I.. I don’t-“

You yank his hands, making him look back up at you. “Hey, Rui, I,” you look at him assuringly, “I wanna say something, and you can’t laugh okay?”

He holds his breath, so do you.

Fuck it, just tell him.

“I think I’m in love with you, Rui.” You gaze at him, the words shooting out faster than you can second guess them.

“I don’t-“ He breaks away, his fists balling up. You messed up, you think, you really, really messed up. “I’m not- I’m not going to- You can’t just say that because you got rejected. I- It wouldn’t be nice to- You don’t love me-“

“Rui,” you beg, grabbing his arm again, “holding hands on the way to school, cuddling while doing homework, knowing everything about eachother, these aren’t-“ You breath, “I’ve wanted somebody to love me for so long, Rui, and I was so blind to the fact that I was loved. But the love that I felt for you, - that I feel for you - Rui, isn’t the kind where I can be- where I can just be so- so normal about those things!” You monologue, saying whatever’s on your mind. You’re the rambling one now.

“I found myself comparing you to these piece-of-garbage dude’s I’m always with, wishing I could just date somebody like you instead! But now I realize that it is you-“

His heart falls into his gut, and he breaks free from you again. His hands move to his face, covering his eyes. His voice is broken and cracky as he begins to cry. “That was- you-“ He pulls you into a desperate embrace, arms holding you like you’ll disappear. “You shouldn’t, you’re wrong.” He sobs, “I’m- the way I love you is- You don’t understand, the way I feel isn’t normal I- My love is disgusting, and horrible, and depraved-“ He shakes, you rub his back. “You are so perfect compared to me, I’d never be able to- I love you so much, more than friends are supposed to, more than anyone’s supposed to at our age-“

“Rui, hey Rui please don’t cry.” You beg, smoothing out the ridges in his sweater. “I don’t- I don’t agree with that, and I can scream that at you, but I’m sure you won’t believe me. You’re not disgusting for feeling emotions different, Rui that’s what I love about you.”

“Stop- stop saying my name like that. It’s too hard to-“

“Rui, I love you. You don’t need to accept it, but I love you. More than being in love, more than being loved-“

“I love you, too,” his voice cracks, “that’s why I’m so scared. I don’t want to ruin a friendship that’s all I have, if this is just- I’m scared I’d lose you in any way, and I can’t live in a world where you don’t see me. I won’t. It’s sounds horrible but-“ He stops as you pull away from the hug, and wipes his face hastily. You put your pinky out, and his stomach drops again.

“C’mon, just like when we were kids. Pinky promise that no matter what, we’ll always see each other. That way you don’t need to worry anymore, y’know? I never break my kissy pinky promises, ever.”

Just like when you two were little.

He locks his with yours, just like you taught him all those years ago. He remembers your shared handshake for theater, he remembers your shared handshake for testing, and he remembers the song you two had to duet for choir - when you have forced him into it for a year. He holds everything of you so dear to his heart, you endear everything about him to you as well.

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

“I see you.”

“I see you, too.”

You two kiss your hands, then bring them down, still interlinked. You stare at him, and he stares back at you. In a moment of profound sincerity, you lean forward, and kiss him. It’s slow and gentle, and you unlock your hands half way through to hold his face, which he mirrors. His heart settles for the first time. You see him. He’s your moon, your earth, you’re his sun, his stars.

He’s suddenly alarmed by a quick pushing off of him, gasping out a “Rui!”

“I-“ he pants, wiping his mouth. “Hm?”

“we’re in the middle of a park!”

[verspia]

Hi I saw you’re Arda angst ff and I fucking loved it!! I wanted to request a Kenan Yildiz angst fanfic where the reader and Kenan had to get arrange married. But he hated her. He always brought other woman home and she really got sad because she never had the chance to experience real love. Not even from her parents.

He always kept her hidden from social media because he was embarrassed of her. She always went alone and done things alone. The reader is a quite person she an introvert she doesn’t really talk that much or express feelings so she always stays quiet. And she had a really bad childhood, got be@ten up and ignored. She never had a normal childhood. By the time Kenan never knew he starts to see her alone at restaurant or pic nics alone and started to feel guilty but never brought it up.

So one day the reader thought she’s alone at home and Kenan told her that he’ll be away.

So she wanted to sleep without a shirt. And that night Kenan appears there because the game got cancelled and when he approached her he saw her scars on her back that were caused by her parents. He starts to regret treating you like that and starts treating you better and spends time with you.

You can make a fluff or bad ending doesn’t really matter but I always prefer bad endings hehe I would really love for you to make this a story !!

💓💓💓

SAD GIRL • KENAN YILDIZ

( pairing ) kenan yıldız x reader

warnings - trigger warning, violence and abuse, a lot of angst. I tried my best and i hope this meets your expectations 💞

In your eyes, the marriage had been perhaps the best thing to have ever happened to you. It provided you with the opportunity to escape the clutches of your dysfunctional family, and finally find some semblance of normalcy in your life.

Knowing that it had been Kenan had made you feel exhilarated, a feeling that you weren’t quite used to.

Kenan had been reputable for being a rather charismatic gentleman, and his polite, sweet demeanour had been all the talk on your wedding day. You hadn’t met him yet, but the idea of him had made you fall in love.

You couldn’t be blamed, because to you this concept of genuity was so foreign to you, that daydreaming about it had made you feel as if you were on cloud nine.

That was until you truly got to know Kenan behind closed doors. Except you never truly got to know him.

Unlike you, Kenan found this marriage an unappealing burden that had chained him down to a person he could not care less for.

He was incredibly indifferent to your presence, and continued on about as if your marriage had never happened. After the ceremony had occurred and you’d been driven off to a fancy villa, Kenan had behaved as if you didn’t exist.

He never acknowledged your presence until absolutely necessary, and it felt as if you were a ghost living inside this empty house, begging, yearning to be noticed, but never spared a single glance.

For you this marriage had ignited a flicker of hope, of learning to love, and for building a meaningful relationship, a turnabout from the life your parents had imposed on you. You hadn’t imagined anything would hurt more than the scathing words and harsh treatment that they had inflicted upon you, until you were faced with the brutal rejection from Kenan. Atleast, at your parents house, you were never ignored, but with Kenan, you didn’t feel like a person, you felt like a soul in purgatory, suffering endlessly and without anyone to turn to.

This marriage with Kenan broke you in ways that you hadn’t thought possible. How could a rejection from the man you had been promised to have hurt so agonisingly when you didn’t even truly know him?

You couldn’t explain the stark difference in his behaviour from what you’d heard to what you’d experienced, and thus, the only person you had to blame was yourself.

Some nights, when the house is quiet and Kenan’s side of the bed is cold and empty, you lie awake and wonder what it is about you that makes you so unlovable. It’s a question that haunts you, clawing at the edges of your mind until it’s the only thing you can hear. You think back to your childhood, to the years spent trying and failing to earn your parents' love. You tried to be good, to be perfect, to be everything they wanted, but nothing was ever enough. Every cruel word, every slap, every moment of their disdain etched itself into your soul, carving out the belief that you were broken, unworthy, fundamentally flawed. You remember having gone through lengths, making sure you were academically on top, and when that wasn’t enough, pushing yourself towards sports to prove that you were capable, but despite these achievements, your parents refused to acknowledge any of it. You remember once, sitting at the edge of your room, if the tiny space could even be called that, your cheeks red from the stinging slaps and your arms littered with bruises, and not a single tear in your eyes. You felt hollow, the one question rotating over in your head, again and again and again.

“What is wrong with me?”

Your marriage with Kenan has only made this thought return full force, from when it just lingered to the back of your mind, to now always on the forefront of your thoughts, on the tip of your tongue, as if any moment you’d ask the question, say it out loud, but no matter.

Kenan never hears you anyway.

You sit in the spacious lounge of this house, Kenan is home, but you are alone. He’s with someone, another girl who doesn’t share the misfortune as you do, who’s laugh echoes around the house and to you, feels like nails on a chalkboard, pinching at your ears and leaving the heart you have in your chest aching worse as the clock ticks by.

Once again, you sit there and contemplate for perhaps the umpteenth time, the same question that oppresses you.

You see the same disappointment in Kenan’s eyes, the same coldness, the same quiet contempt that tells you what you’ve always feared, there’s something wrong with you. You’ve begun to believe it must be true because why else would Kenan treat you this way? Why else would he refuse to look at you, to touch you, to acknowledge that you’re anything more than an inconvenience he’s forced to endure? Why else would he parade other women in front of you, each of them more beautiful, more captivating, more everything than you’ll ever be?

The more Kenan pulls away, the deeper you sink into yourself, convinced that his indifference is a reflection of your worth. You’ve searched for answers in every mirror, scrutinizing your face, your body, every part of yourself that feels inadequate. You pick apart every flaw, every imperfection, as if solving the puzzle of your own ugliness might finally explain why you are so impossible to love. You try to change, to smile more, to be kinder, quieter, less of whatever it is that pushes people away. But no matter how much you give, no matter how much of yourself you twist and bend and break to fit into the shape of someone deserving, it’s never enough.

The rejection feels like a knife to the heart, twisting deeper each time Kenan walks past you as if you’re nothing. You wonder what it would feel like to be touched by him in kindness, to have him hold you like you mattered, just once. You’ve replayed it in your mind a thousand times, trying to imagine the warmth of his hand in yours, the weight of his arm around your shoulders, the sound of your name spoken with something other than disdain. But that warmth never comes. All you get is the chill of his absence, the searing pain of knowing that you are invisible, unwanted, unloved, and that’s all that you’ll ever be.

Despite all this endless questioning, you never get any closer to understanding why you’re in this predicament.

It hurts, like you’re drowning in a sea of sorrow, and every breath is a struggle against the relentless waves of the ruthless ocean. It’s the taste of salt on your lips—the bitter residue of tears that never seem to end—and the weight in your chest that sits like a stone, heavy and immovable, pressing down with a quiet, unyielding ache.

You have long since given up on hope, that maybe one day it will get better, the pain will decrease, but it never does.

Today, you don’t stay inside, the chattering of the girl twists a little deeper into your poor heart than usual, and you decide to step out.

You somehow make it to a cafe and settle down, in a spot. You’re so attuned to the feeling of loneliness that it doesn’t bother you as people glance at you, some with curiosity and most with pity, preoccupied with your heartache.

You realise just how pathetic, pitiful you must appear. Your face permanently stained with tear marks and eyes so red, your figure frail from negligence on everyone you’ve known, including yourself.

You don’t realise however, that it is enough to warrant headlines.

The next morning you’re going viral on the internet,

“Kenan Yildiz���s wife spotted, lonely and sombre. What could be the cause?”

You can’t help yourself as you look through the comments.

“lol how do we even know if she’s his wife, we’ve never seen a single photo of them together”

“oh please, she’s probably a lying attention seeking white trying to get Kenan’s attention, bet she’s never met the guy. Yawn.”

“Who the fuck is this?”

“Kenan is not married what in the fake news”

You’re not surprised by it, but still it stings. You knew Kenan never made it known that he had been married, the night of your wedding day had become news to the world, but it had been buried away by Kenan’s refusal to acknowledge it.

It wasn’t as if you ever accompanied Kenan anywhere either, you went out alone, he never invited you to his games or any award ceremonies, he ignored you just as much on the outside as he did at home.

The only people who actually acknowledge this news are your parents, they come knocking on your door while Kenan is out, not at all pleased by your act that had so perfectly tarnished their reputation, and then the very night they make it very abundantly clear to you just how much displeasure you bring to them.

The pain is sharp and jagged, like shards of glass lodged deep inside, cutting with every thought, and every word your mother hisses at you, and every hit your father directs at you tears you down further.

When they leave, you’re all by yourself on the floor, like broken china that no one cares about or ever will bother picking up.

That night you cry yourself to sleep, so incredibly tired, and you think to yourself about how much of an abomination you are, if only you didn’t ever exist at all.

You’re mentally exhausted to the point that you fall asleep right there on the floor in your mess. And for the first time, Kenan takes notice of you.

He has always been aware of your presence, but had blatantly rejected it, even though guilt had begun to seep into this facade of pretending that he was indifferent to you.

He had noticed how you were always alone, no friends to tag along with when you went out to a restaurant, and barely anyone to talk to. He noticed how you tried your very hardest to make yourself as small as you could in the home that was supposed to be both his and yours. You never spared any expense on yourself from his money, to the point that all the groceries in the house went untouched by you, never eating the food that was there, as if you felt unworthy of sharing the same stuff he did.

His conscience had fought with him a lot, but then his pertinacity had won out.

Kenan comes home late that night, the weight of his usual indifference wrapped around him like a heavy coat. The house is quiet, too quiet, but it doesn’t feel unfamiliar, because that is how you are, yet as he steps inside, he feels a strange sense of unease. The lights are dim, casting long, flickering shadows across the walls, and for a moment, he almost calls out for you, but stops himself—old habits of pride and detachment still holding him back. As he walks through the hallway, his footsteps echo softly on the wooden floor, and that’s when he sees you, crumpled in the corner, lying there as if the world itself had thrown you away.

He freezes, staring at the scene that steals the breath from his lungs. You’re curled up on the cold, hard floor, your fragile frame barely shielded by the thin shadow that frames you. The soft glow of the lamplight reveals a tapestry of dark, angry bruises spreading across your arms and face, fresh and vicious, like cruel brushstrokes on pale canvas. Your cheeks are stained with dried tears, and your breaths come in shallow, ragged bursts, as if each inhale is a battle against the pain you carry. The sight of you, so small, so vulnerable, hits him like a punch to the gut, and for the first time in a long time, something shifts in him.

Guilt seeps in, thick and suffocating, wrapping around his heart like a vice. He kneels beside you, his hands trembling as he reaches out, hesitant and unsure. He touches your shoulder, lightly at first, afraid of causing you more pain, and when you stir, blinking up at him through swollen eyes, he feels the weight of his neglect crash down on him. He’s been blind to your suffering, wrapped up in his own resentments, his own desires, never once considering the cost of his actions—or inactions—on the person he promised to protect, however unwillingly.

Your own eyes widen a little, surprised at seeing him so close to you, for the first time since your wedding, and you aim to move away, but an egregious amount of pain has you stopping, and you try to keep the groan from escaping out your mouth.

"Who did this to you?" His voice is low, and there’s a vulnerability there, breaking, a far cry from the coldness you’ve grown accustomed to. You don’t answer, still in shock from seeing him so close. That is when you notice the freckles of golden in his green eyes, or perhaps you have a concussion that’s making you see things.

Kenan’s eyes run over your body, the bruises tell a story he can’t ignore, and for the first time, he sees you—not as the burden he’s resented, but as someone who’s been hurt far too many times, someone he’s failed in the worst possible way.

Kenan helps you up, his touch gentler than it has ever been. He wraps his arms around you, careful not to press against your bruises, and for the first time, you feel his warmth—real, unguarded, like he’s trying to shield you from the world that’s been so unkind. He guides you to the bedroom, the one he’s kept so meticulously separate from you, and tucks you into the bed as if you’re something precious. He sits beside you that night, eyes never leaving your face, and vows silently to himself that he will be different, that he will be better. For you, it all feels as if you’re on an alien planet, an alternative reality where everything feels so foreign, unaccustomed to having anyone, not just Kenan, actually look at you beyond the same gaze of disdain that you’ve known your whole life.

In the days that follow, Kenan is not the man you remember. He wakes early to make you breakfast, though he’s clumsy in the kitchen, burning toast and fumbling with the coffee machine. You watch him from the table, wrapped in a blanket, still wary, but there’s something different in his eyes—softer, almost pleading. He sits with you as you eat, quiet but present, as if his mere company might patch over the wounds he’s spent so long ignoring.

He starts to notice the little things—the way you flinch when someone speaks too loudly, the way you keep your head down as if expecting another blow. He learns how sometimes you don’t answer, assuming that he isn’t speaking to you, and it fills him with regret. He learns to be gentle, careful with his words, speaking to you with a softness that feels foreign on his tongue. He doesn’t bring anyone home anymore; the house is yours, a sanctuary he’s determined to protect. Slowly, he starts to open up, telling you about his own struggles, his own fears, the reasons he’s built walls so high around his heart. It’s not an excuse, but it’s a start, and you find yourself listening, inching closer with each shared truth.

Kenan begins to take you out on walks in the park, away from the stifling walls of the house that holds too many memories. He holds your hand, tentatively at first, but when you don’t pull away, he squeezes a little tighter, as if to say he’s here now, and he’s not going anywhere. He surprises you with small gestures—your favorite flowers on the table, a book you mentioned once, a soft touch on your shoulder when you seem lost in thought. It’s awkward and unsure, but it’s real, and each day, the distance between you shrinks just a little more.

One evening, as the sun sets and paints the room in hues of gold, Kenan sits beside you on the couch, holding your hand. He’s nervous, you can tell, but his eyes are earnest. “I’m sorry,” he says, his voice cracking under the weight of everything he’s kept buried. “For all of it. For not seeing you, for not being what you needed. I know I’ve hurt you, and I can’t take that back, but I want to try. I want to be better—for you.”

For a moment, you say nothing, the words catching in your throat. But when you look at him, really look at him, you see someone trying, someone who’s finally willing to let you in. You nod, squeezing his hand back, and though the road ahead is uncertain, for the first time, it feels like it’s yours to walk together.

fin

[httpsleclerc]

the story of us: chapter four

pairing: Charles Leclerc x Verstappen!Reader

summary: yours and Charles first date

c/w: none!

word count: 900 words

a/n: lowkey rushed but I think it turned out okay!! mainly just a filler chapter before I get back into the swing of writing

series masterlist // main masterlist

your stomach turned as you sat in the front seat of Charles' Ferrari, the bright lights of Monaco passing you by in a blur. A comfortable silence had settled between you and Charles, with his free hand resting on top of your thigh, gently rubbing small circles on the skin as if he could sense how nervous you were. 

Pulling up to the red light, Charles turned his head to look at you, a smile gracing his features as he took in how beautiful you truly were. He could and probably never would understand how Lukas could have treated you the way that he did, but he had saw that you were an easy target, you had so much love to give, and throughout your childhood, had never received any back, at least not from anyone other than Max. The thought of you as a little girl broke Charles' heart, how you loved everyone around you so much, yet you were consistently hurt by the ones who were meant to make you feel loved and wanted - He wondered if Romy looked like you did as a baby, not like he would ever really know; By the time you were born, your parents relationship was all but in ruin, so no one was ever particularly concerned with capturing your innocence and early years.

"What?" You asked him, noticing how deep in thought that Charles had become, tilting your head as you pouted - It made him notice how Romy had probably picked the habit up from you, he had seen it when you would take something from her, and the two of you would laugh, your daughter not realising that the thing you had taken from her was something dangerous. He chuckled as he shook his head, pulling away from the red light.

"Nothing, Cherie, just realising how similar you and Romy are," He smiled, making you screw up your face. "Like that. She picks up a lot from you, clearly." He grinned, gently pinching your thigh to try and take the pout off of your face, making you wince and then giggle.

"Hey! Stop that," You giggled, gently nudging him, a wide smile on your face as you blushed. Charles smiled as he pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant - It was quiet, but busy enough to not overwhelm you. He had picked out the place with the help of Lorenzo, who had heard everything but the end of his younger brothers adoration for you. "Charles, this place...it looks, incredible." You smiled, looking over at him as he blushed. You made him feel like a teenager again, head over heels for his first girlfriend.

"I thought you would like it, it's not too busy but it has your favourite pasta on the menu," He said, helping you out of his Ferrari, linking arms with you as you made your way into the boutique restaurant, lit dimly yet enough by the yellow candlelight. You tucked a stray strand of your hair behind your ear as you and Charles were showed to your table, him pulling the chair out for you before his own, his hand lingering on your back as you sat down. "You look beautiful, tonight, Ma Cherie, as beautiful as always."

You hoped that in the dim light of the restaurant that Charles couldn't see the intense blush creeping over your cheeks. You knew that you were beautiful, both Max and Kelly made sure that you knew it. However, in recent times after having Romy, you found that you were bloated, broken out, and in general, not feeling great about yourself. Yet somehow, being with Charles made you feel more confident in yourself, even when you didn't feel it, he had a way of making you feel like you were the most beautiful girl in the world.

"Thank you, Charles, you look so handsome," You smiled, trying your best to avoid any eye contact with him. Meanwhile, his stomach was doing somersaults, his brain running a mile a minute as he reached over to hold your hand. "What is it?" You tilted your head, your eyes studying Charles' nervous expression. He gulped, swallowing the anxiety in his throat.

"Y/N. Well, um...well..I hope that you know that the past couple of months I've spent with you and Romy have been great, I really...really, love Romy, she is an amazing little girl. You're also the most beautiful, thoughtful, and caring person that I have ever met, you're such a good mum and I-"

"Charles?"

"Will you be my girlfriend?"

He blurted it out before he could think.

Your breath caught in the back of your throat, causing you to choke on your water. Panicking, Charles reached over to you, fear and panic in his eyes as he looked at you, nervously awaiting your answer. The air hung heavy, each minute dragging on as you coughed and sputtered. Either way, Charles knew that he would stick around, he loved you and Romy too much.

"...Yes, Charles."

TAGLIST CLOSED!!

[giannan04]

Hiii, can you please write a Yandere San X reader fanfic? Maybe where he’s her therapist and he gets her to break up with her bf because he’s been obsessed with her? 🙏🏽make it dark pleaseee? Tyy in advance

Thanks for the request!💕🫶🏻I hope you like it, I tried to fit everything in the best I could 🥹🫶🏻I hope it’s dark enough for you 👀

-

Pairing: Therapist Yandere! Choi San x afab! Reader, Mention of Jung Wooyoung X afab! Reader

Genre: Yandere; thriller

Warnings: Manipulation, mentions of a toxic relationship, slight smut, character death, very slight gore.

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT! 🔞

-

Dr. San Choi's reputation preceded him. He was the therapist everyone seemed to swear by. Patients praised his ability to get results where others failed, and he was known for treating some of the most complex mental health cases in the city. When your relationship with Wooyoung started having problems, your best friend Mingi suggested therapy. You were hesitant at first, but when he specifically recommended Dr. Choi, someone who had worked wonders for him, you decided to give it a try.

“Trust me, San’s the real deal,” Mingi said, leaning in with that serious look he gets when he really means something. “He helped me when I was going through one of the darkest periods in my life. If anyone’s gonna help you figure out what’s going on, it’s him.”

That’s how you found yourself meeting with San in his warmly lit office multiple times a week. From the start, Dr.Choi had a way of making you feel truly heard, like every word you said mattered. He never rushed through sessions and even went as far as canceling other appointments just so you could have more time when you needed it. He never told you that you were wrong, no matter how messy or complicated your relationship issues sounded. Instead, he listened with that same calm, reassuring expression that made you feel understood and validated. Over time, he even gave you his home address, offering to meet there if you ever needed to talk outside of office hours. You didn’t think much of it—you just figured he was incredibly dedicated to his work and to helping you through this tough time.

Over the weeks, San subtly guided you into believing that your relationship was toxic, that Wooyoung was holding you back. He never said it outright; instead, he asked questions that made you second-guess everything. "Do you feel like you're truly happy?" he'd ask, his voice gentle but insistent. "Sometimes, we stay in situations because we're afraid of being alone, not because they're right for us." Little by little, you found yourself reexamining your relationship with Wooyoung.

San’s advice seemed to play on repeat whenever you fought with Wooyoung. The tension between you two had been getting worse for months, with minor disagreements escalating into major arguments. Every time you argued with Wooyoung, you couldn’t shake the feeling that San’s words were right there with you. Even though part of you still hoped things could improve, the truth was hard to ignore: deep down, you knew San was right, there was no saving your relationship. It felt like there was no way to fix what had become broken, despite your hopes that things could somehow get better.

One night, after another argument left you in tears, you found yourself at San's apartment instead of your own. You needed someone to talk to, and San was the first person you could think of. You had caught Wooyoung with another girl, and you didn’t want to be alone. You needed to let everything out. Your heart was broken, and you know the only person you could talk to was San. You hadn't planned on it, but he'd always offered you to come to his place,and before you knew it, there you were, standing outside his front door.

When San opened the door, pleasantly surprised to see you. His brows furrowed as he glanced at his watch. “Y/N? What happened? It’s almost midnight,” he asked, concern replacing the confusion in his eyes as he noticed that you were sobbing. Tears covered your face, and you were so hurt and anxious that you were shaking. San’s heart broke seeing you like that. Without hesitation, his expression softened, and he gently took your trembling hand. “Come in,” he said, his voice soothing as he pulled you into the safety of his home.

You sat on his couch, trying to hold back more tears as you told him everything—how you found Wooyoung with another girl, how you felt like your relationship was falling apart. San listened intently, never taking his eyes off you, nodding with genuine empathy. When you finished, San leaned in closer, brushing a tear off your cheek with his thumb. “You deserve so much better than this, Y/N,” he whispered, his voice low and comforting. “You deserve someone who would never even think of hurting you like that. Someone who truly values you.”

You felt a blush rise to your cheeks at his words and the way his hand lingered on your face, the soft caress sending a warmth through you that you hadn’t felt in a long time. His touch was tender yet firm, making you feel safe; cared for. You haven’t felt that way in a while. You caught your breath as he leaned in just a bit closer, his other hand gently resting on your thigh, as if waiting for your permission. “I can show you what it feels like to be treated right,” he murmured, his gaze darkening with desire. Despite the hesitation you felt at the back of your mind, you couldn’t deny the lust and attraction you felt in that moment. You leaned into his touch, your body responding before your thoughts could catch up.

His lips were dangerously close now, and there was no more space between you. All the tension, all the confusion, all the heartbreak you were feeling—everything faded away as his hands slid further up your skirt, placing his hands on your ass, pulling you into him with a gentle firmness that felt intoxicating. “Let me take care of you, Y/N,” San whispered, his words making your body tingle and heart flutter. And before you could even think to resist, you found yourself nodding, your body betraying you. In your head, you knew this was wrong, but your body felt so right. And you needed, no, deserved to be loved and cared for. It was about damn time.

“I want you, San… I need you. Please, take care of me,” you told him softly, never looking away from his brown almond-shaped eyes. That was all San needed to hear-the very words he had been waiting for since the moment you stepped into his office. San smirked, as he began undressing you with a deliberate slowness, savoring every second. He took in each sight of your beautiful body, pleased that it belonged to him.Before you knew it, he was fucking you right there in his living room, each touch, each kiss, each thrust leaving you wanting more. For the first time in months, Wooyoung and your relationship problems vanished from your mind, replaced by the warm sensation of San's hands on your body, the way he whispered your name like a prayer. The way his dick filled you up, the way he kissed your body was he made love to you.

The only things you were thinking about was how you never wanted San to stop making love to you. And San knew, finally… you belonged to him. San's hands rested possessively on your waist as he thrusted deeper and deeper inside you, your ass slapping against his thighs. You moaned uncontrollably, never wanting him to stop. You wanted to show him he had complete control over you. San’s eyes never left the sight of you, he loved seeing what a slut you could be for him, and how only he could make you feel this way. Smirking, he bent down close to your ear, whispered sweetly to you. "See? You feel it, don't you? How good we are together. You don't need him, Y/N. I'm the one who understands you, who can give you everything you’ve ever wanted, and more. Only I can make you feel this way. You belong to me, and I’m never letting you go."

The next morning, sunlight peeked through the curtains, but the warmth in the living room felt oddly suffocating. You noticed a heavy blanket was draped over your naked body. You must have fallen asleep after what happened last night, so San must’ve brought a blanket out for you. You glanced over and San was still lying beside you, sleeping peacefully. His arm was wrapped tightly around your waist. Yawning, you reached for your phone which was on the floor next to you. You unlocked your phone, and your heart nearly skipped a beat when you saw a text from Wooyoung: I know I fucked up. But I love you. And I want us to work on things. I don’t want to lose you. Let me know when you’re ready to talk.

Your heart fluttered with a sense of hope, but before you could respond to the text, you felt San's eyes boring into you. You looked up at him, not realizing how closely he was watching your every move. You didn’t even hear him wake up. His expression remained calm, but the slight clenching of his jaw told you everything. He was furious. He must’ve seen you open the message on your phone when he woke up.

"Oh. Wooyoung texted me. He wants to fix things," you said, a little too eagerly, not noticing the anger settling into San's expression.

San's smile didn't quite reach his eyes as he leaned in to kiss your forehead.

"That's... nice," he murmured, though his voice didn’t reflect that. He actually sounded pissed, but you could tell he wasn’t trying to show it. San stood up, wrapping the blanket around him as he walked towards his bedroom. “I have to get dressed. You can stay here as long as you need, Y/N. I actually have to head out for another appointment, but make yourself at home, alright?"

You nodded. “Okay, thank you,” you said sweetly, ignoring the tension.

San drove in silence, his knuckles white as he gripped the steering wheel. He replayed your excitement over Wooyoung's text in his mind, a bitter taste settling on his tongue. How could you be so blind? After everything he had done to get you away from Wooyoung, after showing you what real love felt like, you still had the nerve to be excited about that cheating scumbag reaching out! Pissed off didn’t even begin to describe how San felt. He was so angry his eyes twitched and his hands shook as he drove. He had to do something, he was about to have you all to himself until that mother fucker sent you that text.

His thoughts darkened further as he arrived at the home you shared with Wooyoung. His plan formed in his mind, making him feel only a little better. He knocked on the door, his face wearing the mask of a friendly, concerned therapist. Really, he was the furious therapist who wanted to fuck somebody up.

Wooyoung opened the door, blinking in surprise. "San? Aren't you YIN's therapist?"

San let out a cheerful laugh. "Yeah, I am! My office is getting renovated, so I thought I'd stop by and see how things are going. I know Y/ N's been having a tough time, and I wanted to touch base."

Wooyoung relaxed slightly, shrugging. "She's not here right now, but come in. We can talk about how she's been doing. Ive been wanting to talk to you, anyway. Maybe you can give me some insight."

San stepped inside, carefully observing every detail of the house, the place where you once tried to build a future with someone who never deserved you. They moved throughout the home and as Wooyoung started talking, San could feel his blood boiling but he knew he had to remain calm. Wooyoung would get what he deserved shortly.

Wooyoung led San into the kitchen and pulled out a bottle of bourbon. “Want some?” he asked, holding the bottle up. “No, thank you. I’m just here under professional circumstances” San smiled, watching as Wooyoung shrugged and opened the bottle. “Suit yourself,” he said, taking a sip. San and Wooyoung sat at the table, ready to discuss sessions. Which was what San wanted Wooyoung to think, anyway.

"Ever since she started therapy, it's like she's blowing everything out of proportion.

She's been acting like our problems are way bigger than they actually are, like she's ooking for an excuse to leave. I don't know, man... it feels like she's being pushed into seeing the worst in me." Wooyoung stared long and hard at San.

San's eyes darkened, his smile slipping for just a moment as he watched Wooyoung ramble on. How dare he accuse him of manipulating you? Wooyoung was the one who had been lying to you, hurting you, cheating on you, and who knows what else. Hell, this dick was the whole reason you needed therapy in the first place! And yet here he was, acting like the victim.

"You really think so?" San's voice was low, dangerous. He took a step closer to Wooyoung, who didn't seem to notice the shift in San's tone.

"Yeah, it's like she's-" Wooyoung was cut off by the sudden pressure of San's hand around his neck. Panic flashed in Wooyoung's eyes as he struggled against San’s grip.

“San, what…what the hell are you doing?" Wooyoung croaked, trying to break himself free. He managed to break out of the hold, shoving San back with surprising strength, but San's fury was beyond reason now. The therapist quickly regained control, his movements turning brutal as he rained down punches, each one fueled by the sickening memories of everything Wooyoung had done to hurt you.

"This is for Y/N," San hissed between clenched teeth, his eyes wild as he struck Wooyoung with relentless force. San began to stop on Wooyoung, not caring that his blood was getting thrown into the air.

"For every tear she shed because of you."

Wooyoung's resistance weakened as blood dripped from his split lips and broken nose. San's breaths were ragged as he lifted Wooyoung's head by his hair, glaring into his fading eyes. “Pl-please, man…don’t do this. I love Y/n. I never hurt her that much. Believe me”, Wooyoung tears mixed with the blood covering his face satisfied San beyond reason. “Sorry, but with you gone, Y/n will be happier. If you really loved her, you wouldn’t mind dying.” With a final surge of strength, San twisted his hand, the sickening crack of Wooyoung's neck snapping echoing in the room as he tore his head clean off.

The lifeless expression on Wooyoung's face was frozen in terror as San calmly wiped his hands on a towel he found in the kitchen. The sight of Wooyoung's head dangling by his fingers didn't faze him-in fact, he was feeling a sense of satisfaction

San returned to his apartment, already mentally preparing to tell you to ignore Wooyoung’s text, that he didn’t deserve you. But when he entered his home, he found you pacing the living room, your phone clutched tightly in your hand.

"San, I've been thinking... maybe I should give Wooyoung another chance," you blurted out. You didn't notice how San's entire demeanor shifted, his smile growing unnervingly cold.

"Why would you even consider that, Y/N?" San's voice was sharper than you expected, laced with barely-contained fury. You thought your therapist would’ve been happy for you, that you were ready to work things out. “After everything he's put you through, why would you care? Especially after what we did last night."

His words cut through you like ice. You hadn't anticipated such a strong reaction from him. Your face turned bright red and you avoided his gaze. "I... I don't know. I guess I was just confused. I just wanted to feel loved but I’m in love with Wooyoung, and it’s hard to let go of someone you cared about for so long."

San's eyes narrowed, his patience thinning. "You shouldn't have even cared when he texted you. Do you think that was fair to me? Letting me be the one to comfort you, only to get excited over him? And then you let me fuck you-" His words dripped with venom as his eyes blazed with barely-restrained anger. “You’re a worthless whore. Disgusting… I don’t know how I’m even looking at you right now. I shouldn’t have felt bad for you all of those times you came to my office, crying about him. You deserve to be treated like shit!”, his words dripped with venom, his face turning red as he screamed in your face. Your ears throbbed and you broke down in tears. San was scaring you, and the things he was saying to you hurt.

You took a step back, sobs shaking your body. San... I didn't mean for things to get so complicated… please stop yelling at me, you’re scaring me!,” you put your hands in front of your face, just in case he was going to starting hitting you.

San's expression hardened, and without another word, he grabbed your hand, pulling you toward the living room. "I think it's time I show you something, Y/n.

You nodded, unsure of what he had to show you. For some reason, there was a feeling in your stomach, a gut feeling. Something was off. The unease grew as he led you to a trash bag that was sitting in front of the front door. “What’s that?,” you asked, confused. Why on earth was he showing you a trash bag? Did he want you to take the garbage out?

San laughed, but it wasn’t humorous. With a single swift motion, San tore the trash bag open, revealing the gruesome sight inside.

Wooyoung's severed head stared back at you, lifeless eyes wide open in horror. His olive skin had turn a sickly gray color, and a stench burned your nose. Your breath caught in your throat as you stumbled back, terror freezing you in place. You screamed, your hands covering your eyes as you dropped to the floor. “Why… why would you do this?”, you covered your face, as you choked on snot and tears. Your body shook and between the crying, the smell of rotting flesh, and the sight of the love of your life’s body-less head was all too much. You stared up at San. Someone you trusted with your problems, someone you felt safe with, was a monster. San looked at you, a twisted grin on his face.

"Now, Y/N, tell me... are you still confused about who really cares about you?"

-

I’m still taking requests everyone, I’ll write anything🫶🏻❤️

[speed-world]

Hey can I request a headcannon of the ancient Heroes feelings towards a new hero with the powers of All Might

(HELL YEAH!! Please pretty please send more MHA x Cookie Run asks, I’d love more!! Also I’m real sorry this took forever-)

The Symbol Of Peace! (Ancient Cookies x All Might! Reader)

In the wake of the massive explosion, the heroes and Dark Enchantress Cookie vanished. The Cookies, having lost their five greatest heroes, struggled to hold back the terrifying forces of the Darkness. It was in these times where one Cookie, flashing the shiniest of smiles and bearing the heartiest yet heroic laugh, rose up and pushed against the Darkness. This Cookie, recognized as a Symbol of Peace and a True Hero, had captivated the hearts of Cookies in kingdoms all over Earthbread. This is Y/N Cookie, but to every Cookie they are truly known….as All Might Cookie!

Pure Vanilla Cookie is really captivated by your presence and incredible heroism!

He’s so happy that there was a Cookie who chose to step up against the Darkness when the Ancients first failed against Dark Enchantress Cookie. Had it not been for you, who knows how bad things would be for Crispia?

You also inspire Pure Vanilla to believe in himself more.

He felt so guilty after failing in the Dark Flour War, and even more that the burden of his failure was carried by you for so long. Yet, in spite of everything you face, you continue to smile through it and bring hope to Cookies everywhere! And it makes him smile more too (not as big and bright as you thought, but almost!!)

Whether it’s your smile, your loud presence whenever you declare YOU ARE HERE for any type of occasion, it never fails to lighten up Pure Vanilla and makes his heart skip a beat in joy!

When he tells Gingerbrave and the others about you - because how can he not tell them about how amazing you are - you’re suddenly surrounded by a bunch of excited and happy kids who might’ve just found their favorite hero!

Then….it happens

One moment, you’re chilling with Pure Vanilla without a care in the world and then P O O F, you’re a slim, frail looking Cookie instead of the strong crispy muscular hero you were a second ago

Pure Vanilla Cookie is incredibly shocked that this is the real you, but by no means does he condemn or disrespect you about it.

He’s saddened to know that your sacrifices for Earthbread lead to such a tragic condition, and his first reaction is to try to heal you to your full health and strength.

He doesn’t tell Gingerbrave and his friends about your condition unless you’re comfortable with sharing that. Which by then, he’ll help you get it out if you’re afraid of what they’d say to you

No matter what, he’s incredibly grateful for you, and to him, you’re an amazing Cookie to look up and aspire to!

Dark Cacao Cookie has a lot of respect for you, and always treats you with high regard.

He apologizes for leaving you to take the responsibility the Ancients failed to do, but is glad that a Cookie had the courage and power to fight back against the darkness for all of Earthbread

When you tell him that Cookies needed a symbol to aspire to, he finds it odd at first, but he eventually finds sense and reasoning in your idea

Ultimately, Dark Cacao realizes that you aren’t too different from the Ancients: Guardians of peace that fight against chaos and evil.

He’s also fine with your loud and booming presence. It’s as if the light of Pure Vanilla and the exciting energy of Hollyberry was there in you, so he’s alright with it.

And then…..P O O F

He’s incredibly confused when you suddenly go from being twice his size to turn frail and about as small, potentially smaller, than Pure Vanilla Cookie (no offense PV)

When you tell him about your injury, he’s hurt to know that you had to pay an unnecessary price for doing the job that he and the other Ancients were supposed to do

He’ll keep your secret safe from Cookies that can’t be trusted and any other Cookie that you don’t personally trust or tell yourself.

For transparency, however, Caramel Arrow Cookie and Crunchy Chip Cookie might need to know. If you really don’t want them to know, then he’ll agree to keep it from them too. If you allow the two to know your secret, Dark Cacao will make sure they don’t share this truth with anyone else, so don’t worry.

He trusts you and respects you, and he’ll make sure that other Cookies have the same courtesy.

You and Hollyberry Cookie are the greatest of friends. She’s absolutely amazed by you and admires all you do!

She’s initially a little upset that you had to solely fight against Dark Enchantress Cookie’s forces when she couldn’t even do it herself, but she quickly is overjoyed that you inspired other Cookies across Earthbread to be brave like you!

She likes your idea of being a “Symbol of Peace” that all Cookies can look up to, but she’ll be the first to tell you that you shouldn’t carry that burden alone and that herself and the Ancients will always have your back when needed

She loves how loud and passionate you are to declare wherever you are and whatever you’re doing. She finds it adorable and a little funny, and she’s more than happy with a Cookie that can light up a room with only a big bright smile!!

And then…well….P O O F

She’s absolutely lost on what’s before her eyes: the mighty strong Cookie that was before her is all of a sudden gone?!?

When you tell her about your injury, she’s heartbroken. She had no idea you went through this much trouble in the Ancients absence

Your secret is safe with her, that’s what good friends are for!! And she knows a certain dragon that is better off not knowing about this; Witches know what they’ll do with this info.

Even though Hollyberry Cookie can’t share a drink with you, she’ll raise a glass for you in your honor and always share hugs with you. (The hugs will be soft, she’s a bit scared of literally crushing you with a proper hug)

Golden Cheese Cookie finds you really interesting, in a comical but also serious way.

She’s surprised that there was a Cookie who fought back against Dark Enchantress Cookie and her forces, but is also stumped that she couldn’t get the job done herself. She is happy that you’re strong and capable though!

Your idea of a “Symbol of Peace” that Cookies need to look up to is….hilarious to her at first. To be honest, almost everything about you she finds so funny she can’t help but laugh a little.

From your loud and booming voice whenever you arrive somewhere to your quirky smile and antics, it’s kinda adorable to her.

She also enjoys challenging you to see who’s got the more radiant presence. It’s something you two bond over and it’s really cute and fun!!

One thing she doesn’t laugh at though is when your truth is revealed to her

Out of nowhere, P O O F, the burly flashy Cookie that she saw a second ago became a small, malnourished looking Cookie right in front of her eyes. And she’s just so freaking lost

When she hears of your injury, her smile immediately vanishes and she almost chokes up. She actually sympathizes with you, knowing what it’s like to lose something so valuable and important to your life and it feels like it’s just out of reach….it hurts knowing you had to pay such a heavy consequence for her failure all those years ago.

She’s not only keeping your secret safe, but she’s also willing to try and help you regain your prime glory. She’s done so much for her own kingdom and subjects, so she’s more than willing to do the same to a very amazing Cookie like yourself.

To Golden Cheese Cookie, you’re the most priceless treasure to all of Earthbread, and a well trusted and respected friend. She wants you to always feel welcome with her, and she’s always in the mood to share a good laugh with you!

White Lily Cookie thinks you’re incredible!! …and a little crazy at first-

She’s somewhat happy that you didn’t give up after the Dark Flour War and acknowledges the great deeds you accomplished while the Ancients were away, but she feels immensely guilty that a brave Cookie felt the need to step up to the job she failed….and caused in the first place.

Thankfully, you’re there to reassure her and she’s really grateful for you.

When she heard about your reasoning for Cookies needing a “symbol” to have hope in and live in a time of peace, she wasn’t sure how to react and thought you were in over your head a little.

Such a job is far too taxing for one Cookie…but then again, she’s not to different from you as she solely wanted to seek out the truth of Cookiekind for the sake of Cookies.

This realization is what makes you two become best friends, and she’s more than happy to know more about you.

You’re boisterous personality whenever you do literally anything is kinda cute. And the ways you seem to always be glowing and smiling no matter what is inspiring to her.

It’s weird to her at first, but she eventually comes to laugh and smile with you!

Then, of course….P O O F

She’s so incredibly scared when you become frail right in front of her and has so many questions. Are you sick? Did you have a curse put on you?? Is this even you?!?

You have to calm her down first and then tell her about your injury. She’s heartbroken all over again knowing that you had to suffer so much because of her and she apologizes so much.

You can comfort and reassure her that it’s not her fault, but somewhere in the back of her mind, she’s wondering your pain could’ve been avoided had it not been for her actions

She doesn’t see any reason to share your secret unless it’s Cookies that she absolutely trusts, like the fellow Ancients and Elder Faerie Cookie. It’s up to you if you want to share this knowledge, so she won’t infringe on your privacy.

Overall, you and White Lily Cookie connect on a lot of things, and the both of you do your best to help each other out with any problem.

[five-bi-five-mind]

Instead

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Pairing: Jennifer Jareau x fem!reader

Genre: Angst-ish, Hurt & Comfort, Smut

Words: 9.4k+

Summary: JJ had been in love with you from the very moment she met you. The only problem is, you've been with someone else this whole time. Not only that, but he treats you like shit and you keep running back to him. Is there more to it than she knows or do you truly love him the way she wished you loved her?

Warnings: Mentions of stalking, cheating, and unhealthy relationships. Smut, fingering (r receiving), marking (r receiving), top!JJ, bottom!r, smut with a lot of feelings okay

A/N: I was really into this concept and then I really wasn't... but it's finished and now I can move on to other fics. Hope y'all enjoy it though!

(gif not mine, credit to greencways)

This happened way too often, but JJ was there every single time. She knew the signs, knew what was going on. You didn’t have to say a word and she would immediately understand what was going on with you. It was the look in your eyes, even when you smiled. Those eyes always said the opposite of whatever you tried to tell her. Or even what you tried to tell yourself. 

He was always bad for you, from the moment JJ met him, she knew he wasn’t ever going to be what you deserved. And, boy, was she completely right. She lost count of the amount of times she would catch you bawling your eyes out over something stupid he said or did. You’d often try to appear unbothered, but the minute she would approach you and ask if you were okay, you’d utterly fall apart. And every single time, she would open her arms for you to fall into. She would stroke your hair and wipe your tears and tell you all about how he’s not good enough for you and that you deserve someone who would never treat you nearly as bad as he did. There was always the silent sentence she never said, though. The one that ends with something along the lines of someone like me or I would never treat you that way. But she always held her tongue, feeling selfish everytime she was tempted to say it.

Without fail, whenever there was a fight, your horrible boyfriend would come back with some excuse, some way of apologizing, and you’d rip yourself from her arms and fall right back into his. Not that you even knew that JJ wanted you to stay in her arms, but it still hurt like hell every single time. She tried to tell herself for a while that it hurt so much because she knew he would hurt you so much. You were her closest friend, so of course it was just that she cared deeply for you like a friend should. Right? That lie only lasted so long. A year went by and she was stuck with this horrible crushing feeling in her chest. Finally, JJ couldn’t deny it at all anymore. It was incredibly obvious to everyone except for you, it seemed, that she was completely in love with you. 

So then she went through these phases each time you took him back. It would start with the painful feeling of rejection, even if you were completely unaware that you were rejecting her. Then she would get angry. Go, be in love, JJ would think, I don’t care. But that was a complete lie, because she would remember all the times you’d smile at her. Really smile. A smile she swore you’d never give that man. She saw the two of you together, she saw the forced smile you gave him in the rare moments he’d hold your hand, kiss your cheek, and be a semi-decent partner. It’s what confused her the most about this situation. It also, unfortunately, gave her this false sense of hope that maybe you didn’t feel the way you said you felt. 

But then again, why did you fall apart every time he left? Why did you run back into his arms every time he came back? JJ found herself laying awake in bed at night way too often, just mulling over these questions for hours. She didn’t get her answer, but this time… This time was the last straw. 

She knew what was going on within seconds of seeing your face. It was the way your eyes were just slightly puffy and how you’d let out a small sigh before throwing on a forced smile. To your credit, you were really good at selling that smile, but JJ just knew. You walked around the office, your eyes never really focusing on any one thing. Your mind was obviously elsewhere than whatever task was at hand. The team didn’t seem to pay much mind, too busy closing up a case, while you did your own duties alone in your little corner of the BAU. JJ knew exactly what all of this meant and she felt herself get angry this time. It was a new feeling for her; a break in the routine. She usually was just concerned for you and angry at him, but this time it was just the whole situation. 

So, when she got you alone in her office, the back and forth was a little different. It started out the same, though. You did that avoidance thing. The thing where you gave her a pained smile and swore up and down you were fine, while she pursed her lips and crossed her arms. JJ wasn’t buying it at all. She never did.

“Really,” you sighed, “I don’t want to get into it.” 

“Of course you don’t.” JJ rolled her eyes and your own widened. She had never been even remotely snappy with you. “Because it's probably the same shit it always is. God,” she scoffed, “Why do you let him jerk you around like this?” 

You stood there, your eyes filled with disbelief, and you both just stared. If JJ were being honest, she wasn’t proud of that. She was a little shocked all of it came out of her mouth and even more shocked at how harsh her tone was. 

“You don’t get it.” Your tone wasn’t exactly harsh like JJ’s, but she could tell she struck a nerve. 

“What’s there to get?” JJ threw her hands up, obviously letting her frustration boil over. She got this far, might as well keep pushing. Did JJ think it was a good idea? No, maybe not, but she wanted you to finally get a grip on the reality of this relationship. It was clearly not good for you. “He’s not reliable. He doesn't consider your feelings. He clearly hurts you every single time he goes off and fucks up. And god, he has fucked up so often.”

“You have no idea what you’re talking about.” Your tone was a warning. “You don’t know everything.” 

“What then?” JJ knew she was pressing. She knew she was pissing you off, but frankly she didn’t care. She couldn’t watch you fall apart again only to go back to the very person who kept mistreating you. She couldn’t handle you choosing him again instead of her. “Jesus, what is his hold on you? Why do you let him treat you like shit? You run back to him every damn time too! It’s— fuck, it’s ridiculous! Why don’t you have more self worth when it comes to him?” 

You definitely did not look pleased right now. Your face was twisted into a tight lipped frown and JJ didn’t think she’s ever seen you look at her like that. Her eyes flicked down to your hands and saw the way they were balled into fists, before looking back up, finally into your eyes. That’s when the anger fled her body and was immediately placed with crushing guilt. Your face told her you were pissed, but your eyes… Always those god damn eyes of yours. They were so expressive and JJ could read them better than anyone. She saw, hidden behind this anger, the pain and, to her confusion, the fear. 

An uncomfortable tension filled the room and finally you took a slow, deep breath. Your eyes closed for a minute and JJ noticed the way your hands squeezed for a second before you relaxed them. When your eyes reopened and met hers, she realized you were trying to calm yourself down. It was like you had that routine down, like it was a factory reset of your own emotions, and she wondered how often you had to do that. Her gut twisted when she realized you needed to because of her. 

“I said I was fine,” you said in the most monotone voice. “So, if you don’t need anything else, I have files I need to get back to.” 

JJ’s jaw clenched as she realized that you, for the first time, were shutting down in front of her— because of her. She gave a short nod and turned her eyes to the floor as you walked right out of her office. 

Fuck, she thought. JJ had fucked up with you. She pushed when you warned her not to and now she has some apologizing to do. Then again, she still was curious about the look in your eyes. What exactly weren’t you telling her? You said she didn’t know everything, so what else was there? Something told JJ whatever it was would just make her even more angry about this whole situation. 

———————————-

This might look bad. That’s what JJ was worried about as she stood in front of your door with a bag full of takeout boxes of your favorite foods. It might look like she was pushing, and she absolutely was. That was her goal anyways. She needed to know whatever it was you weren’t telling her. 

It took a couple of minutes of pacing in front of your door before she finally took a deep breath, squared her shoulders, and knocked. Her grip tightened on the bag of food, and she took a few more slow breathes as she waited for you to answer.

Thank god you lived alone. For whatever reason the two of you had never moved in together and as far as she knew, you had no intentions of doing that. That was something at least. That you understood a little that if he treated you so badly when you spent time together, living with him 24/7 would make your situation even worse. 

JJ’s foot tapped on the ground as she waited outside your apartment. She couldn’t hear if you were coming to the door or not, but she knew you were home. When you finally did rip the door open, there was absolutely no surprise in your eyes when you saw that it was her on the other side. Was she really that predictable? JJ fully understood that to everyone else who knew about her feelings for you, it looked like she was some lovesick puppy, following you around until you finally opened your eyes. The fact that you weren’t surprised she was standing at your door stung a little. 

“I came bearing gifts.” JJ held up the bag of food. “And to apologize. Can I come in?”

You didn’t reply, but you didn’t have to. All you did was step out of the way so she could enter and she knew all was forgiven. 

JJ knew your apartment well at this point. There were too many nights she spent just sitting next to you in your living room, sleeping next to you on your bed, taking in everything about your space that felt very you. Of course, all of this time she spent there with you, you were none the wiser about the fact that it made her heart go crazy. How could you know that sharing a bed made her ache to reach out for you? Or know that spending so much time in your personal space felt almost like a domestic bliss JJ so badly wanted to share with you? You had no idea and it tugged at her heart in the most uncomfortable way each time. 

She knew your apartment so well that, as she walked into the kitchen, she didn’t even wait for you to get anything. JJ already started rummaging through your cabinets for plates and your drawers for silverware, knowing exactly where to find them. You just stood back and watched as JJ plated the food, never saying a word. Not a lot of things unsettled JJ, but your silence was always one of them. When you were silent, it meant you were really hurting or stressed. She could imagine, right now you might be feeling both or— she thought back to that look of fear in your eyes— perhaps it meant something worse? Was your mind preoccupied with something scaring you? 

“So…” JJ broke the silence herself, handing you the plate as she spoke. “I stopped by that place you like on 4th street.”

“Thanks,” you mumbled, taking the plate and turning to go to your couch. She followed after you. You owned a dining table. Granted, it was small, but plenty of room for you two and all the food JJ over-ordered. But JJ liked to think you chose to sit on the couch and eat there because of how close you two could be. Hopeful thinking again, she realized that, but damn… she had it bad. 

“Listen,” JJ started as she sat down next to you. “I’m sorry about my outburst today.” She paused for a moment, reading your face. Your expression was neutral, but she knew you were listening and receptive. You were always so kind, too kind for your boyfriend, so she wasn’t worried you would be angry for long. “I just hate seeing when you hurt. And I worry that you’re not okay… That something is really bothering you.”

“I’m fine,” you said in a very unconvincing tone as you absentmindedly pushed your food around on the plate. 

“You say that but…” JJ trailed off and didn’t continue that thought when she saw the warning glance you gave her. She dropped it for a moment, but she was going to bring it back up. Just not yet. 

As you both ate, conversation turned to unimportant things. It was obvious that you were both avoiding the pressing subject— your shitty boyfriend. Or maybe ex-boyfriend if JJ was lucky this time. When you two were done JJ took both your plates without waiting for you to get up and made her way to the kitchen. She was entirely too aware of the way your eyes stayed glued to her as she washed the dishes, dried them, and put them back in their rightful place.

You would do that sometimes. Just stare at her when you thought she wasn’t looking or wasn’t aware. But she always knew. JJ was always aware of you, even if you weren’t aware of her. It was like she had finely tuned herself to notice every little thing about you, whether she meant to or not. She just had to be and at first she didn’t understand why. Then, when she realized it was because she was in love with you, it all made sense. It was blatantly obvious that the man you kept running back to wasn’t taking care of you in the slightest, so JJ did it instead. Deep down, she hoped you would notice; hoped you would understand that she would treat you better than he ever would. But it’s been a year of her pining and your constant heartbreak and still things between you and JJ haven’t changed. 

When she was done with everything she sat down next to you again and, to her relief, you scooted closer. Her eyes studied you and she wondered if now was the time to press again. However, this time she was going to be more gentle. 

“Listen,” she started. “I know it’s a touchy subject, but I really want to talk about-”

“Can we just not please?” Your eyes left hers and she watched the way your body shifted uncomfortably on the couch. At least you didn’t scoot away from her. That was one small relief for JJ. 

“I think we need to.” JJ was trying to keep her tone as gentle as possible this time. Patience, she must have patience with you. Clearly, there were some details she was unaware of. You hinted at as much, anyway. “I just don’t understand why this keeps happening. You do know you deserve far better than him right? That you don’t deserve all the pain he puts you through.”

You nodded slowly, your shoulders slumping as your eyes fell to your fidgeting hands. It was absolutely clear in that moment, to JJ, that you did know you deserved better. A spark of irritation filled her chest, but she tried to take a couple of deep breaths. She didn’t know the full story, she was trying to convince herself that maybe what you said next would be a good reason for why you still stayed.

“It’s complicated, JJ,” you breathed a shaky sigh. “I know he treats me like crap, but there’s a reason I stay. He takes care of me…” 

“Are you sure about that?” JJ’s jaw clenched as she thought of all the times he’d fuck up. “Because it looks like he could care less about your feelings or your wellbeing for that matter.”

“No.”  You shook your head hard. “No, not in that way. It’s…” Your eyes closed tightly and you took another deep breath. It was at that moment that something clicked for JJ. It was a face you made every once in a while when you brought your boyfriend around and he said something stupid. It was a look of shame that had washed over you and whatever irritation JJ had felt a moment ago was replaced with a feeling of worry. “It’s that with him around I feel… protected, I guess.”

“Protected?” JJ’s brows furrowed as she tried to understand. You worked at the BAU, so of course you saw some scary stuff. You weren’t one of the members who would go out in the field, sure, which meant you didn’t have all the training of an agent, but you had the basics. She didn’t think even for a second you’d be afraid of anything coming back on you from the job. It wasn’t like your face was even known to anyone involved in any one of the cases. 

“Not– It’s not from the job,” you quickly corrected, reading exactly where JJ’s confusion was coming from. “I had this boyfriend back in undergrad. Things didn’t exactly end the way he wanted it to.”

JJ felt like her stomach was dropping as she watched you fidget even more. She knew, whatever you were about to say would tie everything together for her, but it still made her feel sick. The idea of you being scared of anyone made her feel unimaginably uncomfortable for you. 

“Ever since, he’s just kind of been around,” you shut your eyes tight for a moment before continuing. “I could move and then, somehow, I’d just bump into him. He would always be there when I met someone new. He just– He hovers. He’s never hurt me, but then again I don’t ever want to let my guard down.” 

“So with your boyfriend then…?” She was still trying to put the pieces together of where your current boyfriend fit in. It didn’t quite make sense that you would leave one shitty guy and then find another.

“My boyfriend scares him. It wasn’t always bad between us, not at the very beginning. He was protective and I felt safe. There was this one time when he caught on that we were being followed– He made this big show of how protective he was. Ever since then, I’ve felt a little less like I need to keep looking over my shoulder.” 

JJ was nodding patiently as you explained. Suddenly, she understood just about everything. It wasn’t that you were so heartbroken that he was treating you so badly, that he would cheat on you, that he would disregard your feelings, it was that he provided something important for you. Something that helped you just exist without having to be terrified all the time. It made sense now to JJ. She knew how important it was to feel safe, to feel protected. It broke her heart that you thought you needed to put up with poor treatment just to be safe. Didn’t you know she could protect you so much better than your boyfriend ever could?

“Why are you just telling me this now?” JJ’s voice was gentle, barely a whisper. She felt like if she were to push anymore you’d break in front of her. 

“I don’t know, I was ashamed. Maybe? But I know you’re tired of seeing me go through the same routine with him. He always does this thing where he’ll run off with someone else and I’ll be scared, but it’s not– I’m not scared of losing him, just of being alone. I was so tired of looking over my shoulder, but when he showed up it was better… He always comes back though. Always.” 

It was like you were trying to convince yourself of that fact. The way you gulped right after you said that, your eyes looking anywhere but at JJ. You knew she could read you, that she could tell when you had doubts or were lying. JJ wondered if you really thought he would come back this time? She knew it might be selfish, after all the things you just told her, but she hoped he never would come back. If he made a show of protecting you to your stalker, then she could make a better one if she needed to.

“And if he doesn’t?” JJ knew this question was going to be a hard one for you to answer, but she needed you to see that he wasn’t the answer to your problem.

“He will.” You said that almost as if it were a bad thing. Or maybe JJ was reading into it.

“You don’t need him to,” JJ urged. Okay, so now maybe she was being a bit more selfish, but she also wanted you to know that even if he didn’t come back you’d be safe. JJ would protect you with her life, she thought you understood that already. Even if you didn’t know what feelings she had for you exactly, she thought you knew how important you were to her in general. “You don’t need his protection.”

You let out a bitter chuckle at that and rolled your eyes. “Yeah, okay,” you snorted. “JJ, I’m not a field agent like you. It’s not that easy for me to protect myself when I’ve only got the bare basics of self-defense down. By the time I have more skill in that, my ex will have already made an appearance or worse.”

“That’s not what I meant.” JJ was trying to give you the most determined look she could give you and you looked back at her, clearly confused. 

Realization dawned on you as you understood what she was implying. “I can’t expect you to always be there.”

“I would.” She didn’t miss a beat. Her tone was almost pleading. “I’d protect you and– I don’t know, I can teach you to protect yourself in the meantime. Just–” She was getting desperate as she watched the way you shook your head in protest with every word she said. “Please, just let me. Please.” 

“JJ, shh,” you cooed, your arms suddenly coming up to pull her into an embrace. For a moment, JJ felt pathetic. It was her job right now to console you, but here you were holding her and trying to calm her. She didn’t realize how upset she was about this whole situation. She hated that you were allowing yourself to be mistreated just so you could have some sense of protection from another bad relationship of your past. She hated that you felt scared at all, she never wanted you to feel that way. More than anything, she hated that you didn’t think she would protect you, that you even needed your horrible boyfriend in the first place, when she was right here practically screaming choose me, pick me! 

“I’ll be okay,” you murmured, your hand running up and down her back in a way to comfort her. Only, instead it made her heart race. Her arms wrapped around you now, holding you close for a moment. “You don’t need to take this on, okay? I can handle this.”

It wasn’t like that for JJ. It wasn’t a burden for her to take on, it was something she’d do for the rest of her life happily if you let her. It was something that she already was doing, even if you weren’t aware of it. Whether you felt the same as her or not, she would protect you with her life for as long as you would have her around. She had to make you understand that.

So she pulled back a little from the embrace. “It doesn’t have to be like this,” she whispered as her eyes searched yours. You looked back at her with a soft, wistful gaze, but you let her continue. “Let me be here for you instead…” She trailed off and started to lean in. It was now or never, and her eyes closed just as yours widened. But still, you didn’t move, you didn’t pull away, clearly knowing exactly what JJ’s intentions were. Instead, you held perfectly still until finally, for the first time, JJ’s lips met yours.

The kiss was gentle and earth shattering all at the same time. JJ was scared you’d pull away, but you didn’t. Instead, your lips parted for a brief moment, a slow exhale fell from your lips onto hers and she shuttered. She expected you to pull back, but instead you waited and she kissed you again. When she kissed you this time, you instantly melted into her. It was like every nerve ending in JJ had finally woken up. The moment she had waited for so long was happening and it was better than she ever imagined it to be. 

Her hands tightened around your waist and the small sound you let out, as you were pressed closer to her chest, made her heart skip a beat. Your hands were holding onto her for dear life. She could feel a slight tremble from your body, but when she thought she should pull away, you kissed her harder. 

One of JJ’s hands left your waist, only to reach up and cup your cheek. You had never been kissed so lovingly, so deeply in your entire life. JJ, on her part, was trying to pour every ounce of love she’s ever had for you into the way she was kissing you. It was intoxicating for both of you. For a moment, everything melted away. There was no tension between you two, there was no shitty boyfriend that JJ was desperate to get you away from, there were no unspoken feelings that plagued JJ’s mind every waking minute. There was only you and her and this moment. A moment that meant everything to JJ. 

But it was fleeting. Maybe JJ had pushed it a little too much. One second she was brushing her tongue lightly along your bottom lip, a small gasp escaping from you as she did. The next, you were pushing her back and she was blinking at you in confusion over the abrupt change. 

“What are you doing?” You said breathlessly. Your eyes were shining and JJ realized they were rimmed with tears that had yet to fall. JJ was kicking herself. Obviously, she had rushed this way too much. 

“I’m sorry, maybe I shouldn’t have–” 

“I don’t need you to do this, JJ,” you interrupted. “You don’t have to. Just because I’m scared of being alone doesn’t mean– you don’t have to make this sacrifice just so I can feel safe.”

“What?” JJ was trying as hard as she could to understand what you meant. Sacrifice what? Her own safety? Surely, that couldn’t be what you meant. JJ’s own job put her safety at risk constantly, so you had to understand that she wasn’t worried about that when it came to being with you. She would be safe and she’d keep you safe, it wasn’t a problem. So what were you talking about?

“I don’t want you to think you have to be with me in order to fix all my problems. That’s not fair to you. Or to us.” You were squeezing your eyes shut so tight as you spoke and JJ realized the hands still pressed to her shoulders were trembling even harder now. 

“I don’t think that,” JJ put her hands over yours, trying to calm you. She was starting to understand now and her heart ached for you yet again. Of course, you’re so used to being treated badly that you didn’t even realize how genuine JJ was trying to be. “Just…” she let go of one of your hands to brush away a tear that had fallen down your cheek, “be with me instead.”

“Oh.” That was all you said. Things were clicking for you now too. The word instead rang through your ears and suddenly it all made sense. “Oh,” you repeated, this time with more shock in your voice. JJ was putting it all out there for you now and nerves were getting the best of her. But what would it look like if she backed out now? If she couldn’t handle the fear of being vulnerable in front of you, how could she show you that she could protect you from the things you feared most? 

“JJ,” your voice was barely above a whisper, “Have you always had feelings for me?”

She swallowed hard. It was a question she knew was coming, but still, that didn’t make this moment any easier. If she was going to put herself out there, then she might as well bare it all. Yet, words escaped her. Her heart pounded in her chest so loud, she could hear its beat ringing through her ears. All she could manage was a nod. 

You sat back a little and it looked like you got the wind kicked out of you. It was very clear to JJ now that you really had absolutely no clue about how she felt. In all fairness, that wasn’t a surprise for JJ. She was probably a little too good at keeping a poker face around you, even if she didn’t mean to. Although, with you, for so long she was terrified of you finding her out and losing you all together. She warred with herself for so long on telling you about her feelings, but the idea of ruining your friendship and losing you forever felt worse than never having you in the way that she wanted. But here it all was, out in the open. 

“For how long?” Your question wasn’t harsh, just genuinely confused. 

“I don’t know,” JJ admitted. “Maybe they’ve always been here. It took me a while to realize it, but then you…” She didn’t need to continue for you to understand. There was always your boyfriend, so JJ thought there was never a good time. It was your turn for your heart to break for her. All the instances where you’d question her actions, her looks that she shot your way, all of it hit you. The realization was shocking in some ways, but made complete sense in others. And, for the first time, you realized just how much it pained her to watch you stay with someone who treated you with very little disregard. You thought back now to all the times you had run back into his arms and all the times she was just forced to watch. The hurt that must’ve caused her, you couldn’t even begin to imagine. 

“I had no idea,” you mumbled. But then again, maybe you did? In the entire time you knew her, she had one relationship. It was a relationship she was already in when the two of you met, and it lasted maybe three or four months after you’d gotten to know each other. When it ended, JJ didn’t say much about why, just that it was for the best. Now you understood; it was because of you. “Or… I think I didn’t. I– I don’t really know either.”

JJ’s eyes stayed on you. She could tell you were going in circles in your own mind, trying to better understand this new development. Guilt was washing over her as she realized she’d put something complicated onto you, on top of all the other complicated factors you had just told her you were juggling. The kiss was a mistake. JJ knew the timing was horrible, but would she take it back? Absolutely not. Not even when you were looking at her in a way that told her she was about to get her heart ripped out. Her whole body tensed as she waited for the rejection she thought was coming, but still you just… sat there and stared. 

You kept opening your mouth for a second, seeming like you had something to say, but then backing out a moment later. JJ knew whatever you were going to say wasn’t going to be easy for either of you, but she also knew you definitely had something you wanted to get out. She didn’t say anything in response to you, she just kept waiting for you to resume talking. Part of her hoped that whatever you said, it would be a good thing. Another part of her, a bigger part, worried that you were struggling so much because you were trying to tell her she made you uncomfortable and you didn’t quite know how to best reject her. Little did you know, it didn’t matter how hard you were going to reject her. JJ was going to stay by your side. Now more than ever, she understood how important that was for you. 

Still, the silence was getting deafening for JJ. You stopped trying to talk and just looked down at your lap. JJ was about to finally break it when you did eventually decide to look back up at her.

“I think,” you began, “Maybe, I need a little time to wrap my head around this.”

JJ nodded hard, her heart thudding in her chest. It wasn’t what she expected you to say. It wasn’t even necessarily a good thing, but it wasn’t a rejection. She’d settle for that. “Of course,” she rapidly replied. “I know, it’s a lot. Today was a lot.” She stood up for a moment, anxiously looking around the room, trying to figure out her next move. “I’ll– I can give you space for the night. I should– Yeah, I should go.”

When your shining eyes looked up at her, it was like JJ’s world stood still. You had such sadness in them, such exhaustion. It was hard for her to see when she knew she caused even the smallest portion of it. You didn’t deserve everything you were dealing with. And to deal with it in silence for so long? It crushed her that you were just telling her all of this now.  

You didn’t say anything for a moment as you stared up at her. Your head nodded the slightest bit, but JJ saw it. “Just for tonight,” you said in the smallest voice. JJ gave you a pained smile, one that she hoped would read to you that she understood completely. 

JJ did as she said and found herself back home in her empty apartment before she could even realize how she managed to get there. The minute she stepped out of your place, all throughout the drive, and even as she laid in bed there was only one thing on her mind. Would things be different if she had known sooner?

She fell asleep with what if scenarios running through her head. Ideas of the two of you being happy somewhere far away from anything you feared. Far away from the shitty boyfriend you thought you had to be stuck with. 

———————————-

JJ wanted to give you all the space she could possibly give you, but it wasn’t that easy. Now that she knew what she knew, it was hard for her to take her eyes off you for even a second. Not that it wasn’t already hard for her to do so without the information she now had, but now there was an extra layer to it. She felt more protective than ever, but she also knew you needed some space from her to process. So, she was constantly internally debating with herself.

You had told her you wanted space just for the night, but then you didn’t really talk to her the next day or the next or even the rest of the week after that. She kept her eye on you still, even if your eyes would never meet hers or you’d shift and squirm when she was near. It was killing her inside. A lot sooner than was probably healthy, a horrible thought popped into JJ’s head that had her spiraling. What if she had messed everything up? What if she ruined her friendship with you because she brought up her feelings?

The kiss kept replaying in JJ’s mind though, and she swore up and down that you kissed her back that night. Yes, you were the one to pull away, but before then, it felt like everything JJ was trying to give, you wanted to reciprocate. Maybe that was just all in JJ’s head, but she really didn’t think so. Then again, maybe she shouldn’t have kissed you at all. Maybe in her mind, everything seemed so different than it actually was. She just kept going on and on spiraling further into this thought process with each passing minute that she hadn’t heard from you.

Finally, after over a week of work, JJ had a day off coming up. Nothing had changed between you and her, you were still very much avoiding her. It was exhausting JJ, how worried she was about your wellbeing, how worried she was about the state of your friendship with her, how  worried in general she was about all of it. JJ didn’t even have a minute to really sit down and take in the fact that it was also hurting her, knowing that she was probably rejected by you and her wishful thinking was just that– wishful thinking. But now she has a day off. A day to process. JJ didn’t know if that was a good thing or a bad thing for her. For one, she got space away from seeing how uncomfortable you were, but then she couldn’t keep an eye on you to make sure you were safe. On the other hand, she could actually sit and think about how she was feeling and how to approach the silence you were giving her. However, she knew the minute she really started to think about it her heart would ache. JJ liked to think she was strong, but even she had her limits. 

So how did she spend her day off then? By wallowing in her apartment and nursing her expected heartbreak ahead of time. At one point she did get dressed to go work out, but she never made it out of her apartment. She just stayed in her clean gym clothes and sat back on the couch, the idea of possibly running into you in the gym (even if she knew you’d probably be busy elsewhere) was too much of a risk. 

When evening came and she finished checking her texts, missed calls, emails, and everything else you might message her on, she decided maybe she should get food. Before she even decided what she wanted to get delivered— there was still no way she was leaving her apartment at this point —she heard a knock on her door. Her eyebrows furrowed, there was no package she was expecting, no conversation with anyone else about coming over, nothing that warranted this knock. 

With an exasperated sigh, she hoisted herself off the couch to go see who it was. It hadn’t been that long since the first knock that she heard another, more frantic tapping at her door. She huffed again, frustrated that whoever was on the other end was both impatient and interrupted her night of self loathing. A third knock came and she was getting a little pissed at this point.

Usually, being an agent at the BAU, she has a strict habit of checking the peephole before swinging a door open to an unexpected guest. But JJ hadn’t really been thinking clearly lately, so why start now when she could tell off the irritating person on the other side? Except, when she swung open the door she utterly froze.

She didn’t expect you to show up tonight, not when you had been actively avoiding her for days. Not to mention, you had never really needed to knock on her door. You had a key and both of you had a habit of just waltzing into each other’s places. So, you were definitely her last guess for who was waiting on the other side.

When JJ’s shocked eyes fell on you, you looked back up at her with the look of a deer caught in the headlights. JJ’s first reaction was to ask you why you seemed so scared if you were the one avoiding her for days and then showing up at her doorstep, but she held her tongue.

“Listen, okay here’s the thing…” you started suddenly. “I thought about the night, about what happened. Okay— so I took longer than I said and I’m sorry about that, but I have a good reason. I think, maybe.” You were rambling. JJ’s eyes were still filled with shock but she still had the sense to step out of the way when you pushed yourself into her apartment. “It’s just that,” you kept talking as you let yourself in, “this isn’t just something you do quickly, you know? I was with him for a while, and you and I… I’ve never connected with someone on the level I have with you. So if there was ever an inkling that I might lose our connection, even if it’s the smallest chance—“

“(Y/N), you would never lose me.” JJ had the sense to butt in with that, but your hand came up immediately after to signal her to stop whatever explanation she was ready to give you. 

“Even then… The idea is terrifying,” you looked back at her with pleading eyes. Her heart sank as she began to realize where this conversation might be going. You were still pacing and she so desperately wanted to stop you and tell you not to worry about it. You didn’t have to say them to her tonight. She didn’t know if she could manage to hear the words you might say, but she didn’t dare move from the doorway. 

“This isn’t coming out how I planned.” You pressed your hands to your eyes for a second and took a deep breath. “But…” you dropped your hands and gave JJ an intense look. “Then I thought about that night and all the other nights I’ve spent with you and I thought about… that kiss.” You both gulped as you said the word. “It was,” you paused, struggling to find the right words. “It was eye opening. It made me realize something…”

JJ was holding her breath. She really wasn’t sure where this conversation was going, but she really was internally begging for you to rip off the bandage. 

You took a deep breath and tried to center yourself for what you wanted to say next. JJ was on edge where she stood, trying not to let you see the way her hands trembled as she waited.

“JJ, I want to be with you.” The words were out there and JJ’s eyes widened the second she took that in.

“What?” It wasn’t that JJ didn’t hear you, it was that she was in a state of mild shock.

“I have feelings for you too. I think I’ve always known how you felt, how I felt even. I just wasn’t sure how to face it…” Your eyes fell to the floor, suddenly feeling more vulnerable than you perhaps ever had been. “But then when you left that night it was all so clear to me.” 

JJ took a few steps towards you, her heart beating like a jackhammer in her chest. “Then why did you ignore me for days?”

“I wasn’t trying to.” You looked back up at her with apologetic eyes. “I said I wanted to do things right and I do. So, I wanted to make sure I put a permanent end to my relationship. All his stuff needed to be out, I needed to tell him that— You know, that this was really it. Which I did, last night. And then it took me all day to figure out what to say to you.” You let out a soft laugh and shook your head. “I had this whole script planned out. I didn’t use any of it. This has to be the messiest way to tell someone you want to be with them.��� 

Finally, JJ’s face shifted from shock to a soft smile. She took another step and then another until she was right in front of you. “I think it still worked out well.” 

You took a step towards her and whispered, “yeah?”

“Yeah,” she nodded before reaching for your waist. She leaned in and her lips pressed against yours for the first time since that night. And just like that first time, you melted into it. 

———————————-

When you made up your mind to finally tell her that you wanted to be with her, you had also told yourself that you would do things right, take things slow. However, when your back hit her mattress and you looked down at the foot of the bed to see JJ crawling up your body… Well, that ship had long sailed. Even JJ had a similar thought when you finally admitted that you wanted to be with her, but that idea quickly went out the window the minute she felt your whole body press into hers as she kissed you. Her resolve only broke further the more the two of you pulled at each other’s clothes as you made it to her bedroom.

There was still a part of both of your minds that told you two that maybe things should slow down, but then when you looked at her, pupils blown, a slight blush across your face, that idea left her mind entirely. And when she looked back at you, nothing but adoration in her eyes as her hands ran up and down your half-naked body, any worry about going too fast was erased from yours too. This was JJ after all. It wasn’t like you didn’t know her. You did, you truly knew her. Perhaps deeper than most people can know one another. 

So there you both were. JJ was hovering over your body at this point and you couldn’t stop yourself from taking in the beautiful tone of her bare stomach as she waited above you in nothing but a sports bra. Without even thinking, your hands made their way to her stomach and your nails, ever so softly, raked down her skin. You watched in awe as JJ shivered and her eyes filled with lust; a look entirely new for you to see. 

JJ cupped your chin and dipped her head down. The way she kissed you, slow and deep, had your chest heaving and your heart racing. Your nails dragged across her stomach until they reached around her back and you pressed her down. Now her barely clothed form was pressed against your matching half naked body. Her hand didn’t leave your chin as her tongue traced around your own. You, for the most part, could only grip at her closer as you continued to kiss her. All of these feelings, of her pressed against you, the way she kissed  and touched you, everything was just overwhelming your senses in the best way. Finally, when you felt JJ’s other hand start to brush down your stomach until she pressed the palm of her hand to your bare thigh, did you start to ground yourself in the feeling of her touch. Her fingers gently traced circles on your inner thigh as she kept kissing you, with each passing second getting closer and closer to where you wanted her most. 

JJ pulled back just a little, her lips still barely ghosting over yours. Her fingers were playing with the edge of your panties and you realized she was trying to get your consent. Your heart swelled for the care she was giving you. It was something that might just be considered the bare minimum, but when JJ did it, it showed just how much she respected and felt for you. All of this felt new to you tonight, not just the fact that you were about to be with JJ for the first time in a way that you had never expected before, but everything else about the encounter. Never had you felt someone cherish you as much as she did and that feeling intensified with each little touch.

You gave her a small nod, your arms moving up her back to wrap around her neck and pull her lips back down to meet yours. As you resumed the kiss, you let a small gasp out against her lips the moment you felt her fingertips dip into your panties and brush against your clit.

Her fingers stroked slowly across it once and then twice and you couldn’t stop the small sounds that escaped from you. JJ wanted to take this slow, to soak in every single sound you made and how good you felt, but it wasn’t easy. Part of her wanted to just let go of everything, to let go of the long time she spent bottling things up, but she knew you needed to feel the love and adoration she had for you before she could dive in and finally indulge in what she’s wanted for so long. 

Her fingers started to trace small circles around your clit and her lips left yours to kiss across your jaw. Your eyes were screwed shut again and your hips were moving ever so slightly with the way her fingers were working on your clit. JJ’s eyes were fixated on the way your face looked, flushed and twisted in the pleasure she was giving you. Your lips parted slightly to let out a small whimper and that was when JJ knew she needed to pick up the pace. Her fingers pressed more firmly on your clit and the way they moved against it sped up. Your hips kept moving in time with her hand, trying to get more friction. JJ’s other hand went to your breast, pushing your bra up so that she could have access to your nipples. Her fingers traced around each one as her lips made their way down your neck. Neither of you seemed to notice or care that the way she started nipping and kissing at the skin there was surely going to leave visible marks. 

The feelings she was building up in you was starting to become too much, but you still wanted more. The way she focused on your clit felt amazing, but you wanted to feel her– to really have her. Without hesitation, one of your hands untangled itself from around JJ to reach down and grab her wrist. Both of you were shocked by the bold move, but neither of you minded, when you pushed her hand down further into your panties. JJ knew exactly what you wanted and let her fingers circle your entrance. 

You took a few deep breaths, your hand leaving her wrist to go back to pressing her body closer to yours. JJ’s lips moved down to your chest and the moment you felt her fingers start to push into you, you also felt her take one of your nipples into her mouth.

“Oh!” You did not mean to gasp as loudly as you did, but after that gasp came a moan as you felt JJ’s two fingers sink deeper into you before pulling out almost completely and pushing back in. She wasn’t going fast, but she wasn’t necessarily going slow either. The angle was a little awkward with your lower half still partially clothed, but you desperately wanted her to keep going. Eventually, your legs fell open wider to give her more space and your arms left JJ again only for a moment to frustratingly pull your panties down and kick them off. With those off, and JJ’s fingers back inside you, your head rolled back again. You couldn’t stop the constant, desperate moans and gasps that left your lips. 

JJ, in the meantime, had been busy switching between your breasts, marking up each of them and running her tongue across both nipples. When she started to feel your legs shake, she knew she needed to speed up. Her lips moved back to your neck, kissing over the marks she had left behind previously. Her fingers curled and your nails pressed into her skin. The sting of it didn’t even bother her, she was too lost in this moment with you. You were practically crying out her name with each pump of her fingers inside you. She wasn’t aware of much else other than the way you felt around her fingers. 

“I love you.” Her voice was muffled into your neck, barely above a whisper. “I love you…” she breathed again, her fingers pumping faster inside you while your nails dug harder into her back.

It took a moment for those words to sink in. Words you didn’t expect to hear so soon. Especially not now, not during your first night together like this. But they were out there, whether JJ meant for you to hear or not. 

Your body tensed for just a moment, even if you didn’t mean to. You had hoped JJ wouldn’t notice, but like always she did. Her head pulled back, her fingers slowed to a stop but never pulled out. Immediately when she met your eyes hers filled with panic. Probably because you looked back up at her with shock.

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean for–” She started to pull away. “I know this isn’t the best time to say–”

Your hands clenched harder onto her back, trying your best to get her to stop pulling away from you. “I love you too,” you whispered. It wasn’t something you expected to say, but suddenly as you looked up at her, you realized it was the truest feeling you’ve ever had. 

Her eyes searched yours for a moment. “Yeah?” 

“Yeah.” You nodded hard, your hand pressed to the nape of her neck to encourage her to lean down and kiss you once again. As she did, her fingers resumed from the pace that they had left off. 

One of JJ’s hands came down to your thigh, grabbing it to hook across her waist. Her fingers hit just the right spot deep inside you and you broke the kiss to moan out a breathy, “I love you.” JJ’s pace sped up even more and that was all it seemed like you knew how to say. You kept saying it until finally, finally you came hard on her fingers.

JJ slowed her pace, letting you ride out your orgasm until you finally took a deep breath. Your eyes stayed closed and JJ, ever so slowly, pulled her fingers out of you.

“Wow,” you panted. 

“Yeah,” JJ let out a breathless chuckle. “Wow.” Her hands came up to cup your face again and you pressed a kiss to her palm. 

“I do really love you,” you whispered. “I don’t know how it took me this long to see that…”

She shook her head before pressing a kiss to your forehead. “We’re here now and that’s what matters.”

Your arms pulled JJ tighter into you and you knew she was right. Despite how long it took you to put up with the bad treatment and accept the fact that she was there this whole time, you two were here now. Together and in love. This was just the beginning of it, and you knew that not only were you finally able to feel truly safe, but that feeling would never go. As long as you had JJ, you felt no fear.

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[vampykween]

@suimon got me thinking about simon reacting to you thirsting over a fictional character hehe

simon doesn’t get it really. you’ve had your head buried in that book since he’s been back on leave. not that he’s jealous or anything… but didn’t you want to spend time with him? okay so maybe he’s a little jealous.

after a few more days of watching you hide coy smiles behind your hand and giggle and kick your feet at every turn of a page, he had truly had enough. he stalks over to your spot on the couch and plucks the book right from your hands.

“hey! si- oh my god…” your words die in your throat as you watch your boyfriend’s eyes skim over the pages of your book. your incredibly smutty romance book.

“jesus christ. this what’s got ya so worked up? i could fuck you far better than these words could ever describe love.”

you’re still reeling from the fact that simon caught a glimpse of what you’re reading, but the feeling of shock is slowly being overtaken by desire growing hot in you. the muscular man must tell by the look on your face because he cocks an eyebrow and leans down closer to your face.

“oh i see, is that what you want pet? poor girl, been alone so long. bet yer cunt is absolutely desperate for my cock,” simon’s husky voice floods your ears and it takes all your strength not to purr like a cat in heat at his words. you nod meekly hoping your wordless answer is enough for him to take you, but he clicks his tongue at you instead.

“c’mon i wanna hear ya beg for it baby.”

you swallow slowly and try to compose yourself, “please si, i need you so badly. missed the feeling of you fucking me so well.”

simon must feel sufficed by your answer because he lets out a guttural groan, scoops you up, and tosses you over his shoulder. he chuckles darkly at your protests and simply smacks the fat of your ass in warning. you ceased only because you knew what he would say anyway ‘behave. be a good girl, and i’ll treat ya like a good girl’

when the tall blond man throws you onto the bed and crawls up the length of your body, leaving hot wet kisses in his wake, you know you’re in for the night of your life.

[saintslewis]

❝ 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐃 ❞

𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐀𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄: 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 | 𝐋𝐇𝟒𝟒

pairing: sir lewis hamilton x fem!oc; Nadia

summary: in which Nadia doesn’t play about her man.

warnings: cussing, outfit descriptions, fighting, slight aggression towards nadia.

saint’s team radio 🪩: let me tell you guys something. this is one of my favourite chapters i’ve written. can’t believe we’re on chapter 11! Hope you enjoy!

and happy birthday mntase! (hopefully you’ll see this!)

dividers by @cafekitsune

pictures from pinterest and instagram!

faceclaim: @/unclewaffles_ on ig!

-

The glow of the Eiffel Tower shining through the hotel window was all Nadia could stare at, her eyes behind her glasses gazing back and forth at the sparkles from the metal structure.

Four seasons welcomed the two in their suite with decadent chocolates and overly luxurious desserts, a treat for their short plane ride from London.

Evening had begun and the two had spent the past few hours that they had been in Paris just lounging around. Lewis working on some emails with Nadia styling her wig to perfection for the next evening, Pharrell’s latest Louis Vuitton collection as the new creative director. An event she could not wait to attend, a dream come true for her and what she wanted to do for herself in the future if she decides to stop teaching.

The sun had long gone down and the Eiffel Tower was an incredible sight, Nadia’s emotions all over the place because she truly thought she wouldn’t be here, that she was dreaming too big but she was here with someone she knew she had feelings for. “Lewis! Are you ready yet?” Nadia spoke out, adjusting her glasses with her finger as she plopped herself on the couch.

“Yeah, we can start.” He said, walking into the living room of the suite. His hair was blown out, ready to be braided again. Lewis found his seat on the floor with a cushion underneath him, in between Nadia’s legs as she sat ready. “Are those new frames?” He asked, twisting his head to look up at her, examining a face he loved seeing.

“Yeah actually. I wanted bigger frames and the optometrist said my left eye’s slowly getting its vision back.” She responded. “You went during Spain?” “Mhm.”

Nadia’s attention turned towards his head full of hair, short extensions sitting next to her to braid into his hair. “Can you hand me the gel?” She softly asked, beginning to feel at the soft hair in front of her, running her manicured fingers through it as it sent shivers down Lewis’ spine.

Not much time had passed for them to start talking on anything random, the current topic being Nadia’s school years. “Oh yeah, Cambridge was a bit odd because there weren’t a lot of us there. Most professors doubted that I’d graduated but then I showed those motherfuckers.” She laughed, working on a braid.

“It was a fun experience and I was more than grateful to leave. Oxford though, was me just experimenting and seeing if I could get in for my honours in History and here I am.” Nadia continued, Lewis humming in response. “What did you really want to do though? I saw you displayed your degrees back at home.” He spoke, using his hands to speak.

“I’ve always wanted to do something in fashion but my mom straight up said that it wouldn’t get me anywhere so it was either Cambridge or sitting around with her all day.” She expressed. This made Lewis turn around with his face fully confused. “I thought you were good with your mom.”

“So did I, Lew. She’s a very complex person so most of my time was spent away from her. Until we eventually mended things then boom! I got married to you.” Nadia spoke, deciding to let out a little chuckle at the little joke.

The last sentence made Lewis’ mind work overtime. He didn’t want to come up with a theory just yet, not when they’ve come so close together in such little time. “My team worked with my family for this, as my stepmum said. Said it’ll make me look good.” Lewis confessed. Just like that, Nadia’s hands stopped working.

“What the hell were you doing for them to do that?” She asked, head tilted to look at him while her hand was entangled in his hair. All he could do was shrug, he was just told he was getting married a week prior to meeting Nadia. “Damn, this fame thing is weird as shit.” She said out loud and they laughed.

After telling each other their backstories and feeling like they know each other a little better, Lewis hair was eventually done. “Look at you looking all handsome.” She complimented him, washing her hands in the bathroom then coming back out to look at him. He already felt like he looked good but hearing it from Nadia felt so much better. “Thank you. Got gentle hands on you, maybe I should get you to do my hair.” He smirked at her.

Rolling her eyes with a smile, she cleaned everything up and began walking towards the bedroom. “And who’s supposed to be your super smart, talented, beautiful wife?” She winked at him as she walked and he couldn’t help but shake his head with the biggest smile on his face.

-

A Maybach van was the vehicle of choice to head to the show at the Pont Neuf bridge, the drive shorter than she initially thought.

“It’s not as cold as I thought it’d be.” Nadia softly spoke, playing with her skirt, her nerves eating at her. Looking over at her, Lewis held his hand out and she took it without a second thought. “Everyone who meets you will fall in love with you, I swear.” Just like I did was what he wanted to finish his sentence with.

“This isn’t as out of the box as I can go but what if it’s like super packed?” She stressed. This wasn’t a mediocre event, this was a place she always saw herself being one day and out of her mother’s shadow. Making a name for herself.

“Nads, you’re with me. We’ll be more than okay and you look good as fuck. Don’t forget who you are.” Lewis spoke with pure confidence and that last part made her turn to him with curiosity etched on her face.

“Now you’re losing me.” She spoke. “Remember how you told me after Canada that I’m ‘Lewis fucking Hamilton?’” The memory came back and she couldn’t help but giggle at it, her grillz showing.

“I was being your hype woman, man. Of course I’m gonna say shit like that.” Nadia smiled at that, her hand still holding Lewis’.

He then put on a smug expression. “Exactly, now it’s my turn. You’re Nadia fucking Hamilton. Never doubt yourself.” He spoke in his relaxed voice, knowing that it would get to her easily. Like clockwork, she adjusted herself in her seat and sat up right as if she was manually accepting the words spoken to her.

Her confidence truly grew as they got to the entrance. Doing promo for LV was the last thing she expected but Lewis cheered her on to do it. Everything felt so surreal, from meeting her celebrity friends who immediately took a liking to her to watching the amazing show front row, taking everything in. Replaying her husband’s words in her head, she interacted with everyone who was itching to meet her and Nadia felt like the world’s biggest star.

Partying with people she admired from afar was something she would cherish forever. She truly didn’t want this to end. “Lewis, Nadia! Thank you guys so much for attending.” Pharrell called out to the couple who were all smiles. The conversation went on merrily with Lewis even promoting Nadia’s styling career. “Oh I would love to work on something. Lewis has been going on about how good you are. So, while I send through some pieces of you guys, I’ll also send you my details so we can work something out?” The older man suggested.

“That sounds amazing! Yeah, I love that!” She beamed from ear to ear, grillz flashing ever so beautifully. After saying goodbyes, Nadia turned to Lewis who had been admiring her the entire time. Throwing her arms around him, the two hugged with cameras panning over to them. “Thank you, my love.” She said to him, leaning to kiss him on the cheek.

“I lo-”

“Nadia! Bae! Come over here!” Megan thee stallion’s voice boomed as her and Zendaya beckoned Nadia over to them. The woman looked to her husband who just gave her a closed smile. “Go have fun, I’ll be with Jay and Bey.” Lewis spoke, patting the side of her ass.

“Okay cool, see you later!” Squeezing him once more, she let go of the hug and ran to her new friends.

Lewis knew that it wasn’t the right time to admit such. He just wanted to blurt it out so that she knows how he feels, how he feels a pull every time she walked away, how he wants to give her the universe just to see her smile.

-

BROMLEY, SOUTH LONDON

The bass of a mixture of reggae and amapiano songs hit through the speakers of the range rover, the long drive from their house enjoyable with both their voices singing over the music at times.

Nadia being the designated driver this time, she carefully drove as the two reached Nicola’s house. The two got the invite shortly after the chaos that was Austria to have a pre-Silverstone celebration with everyone as Nicola called it. An awkward Tuesday to host a lunch/dinner but a great gesture nonetheless. It was more of a surprise that everyone was actually available to do such a thing.

Eventually finding parking behind Mile’s car, it was clear that they were most certainly late. Hopping out of the car, her LV trainers landed on the pebbles underneath her with a bit of a limp to her step. Nadia prayed it was less visible than what it was the day before. Opening the back car door to get the plastic containers filled with everything she brought for this lunch, baked goods prepared with love and excitement.

“You look so good today, baby.” She heard his voice as she closed the door to the car. “I look like a walking ad but thank you, love.” Nadia responded, handing the containers for him to hold as they made their way to the door.

Not even bothering to knock, Lewis walked into the busy house and the scent of different foods filled the air and you could hear loud laughter from the background. The place was huge, perfect for a big family.

Before they could take another step into the welcoming foyer, two familiar screams echoed through. “Auntie Nadia! Sir Uncle!” Willow and Kaiden came rushing towards the pair, Nadia already crouching on the floor with open arms to hug the two eager children. “We missed you so much, Auntie Nadia!” Willow smiled brightly, unable to contain her excitement.

“Wooow, what about your uncle?” Lewis joked as the kids embraced his legs since his arms were pre-occupied with the containers.

On the way to the kitchen to greet whoever was in there, she admired the homey feeling of it all and she was also just guessing where everything was, following the aroma of the food like the cartoons. “Nadia, oh my god! You guys are finally here!” The host herself exclaimed as she hurried to the confused girl. “I’m so glad you guys are here! It’s so good seeing you again and might I say, you’re glowing!”

The two women had gotten quite used to each other over the course of the few months, the kids growing obsessed with Nadia and wanted to see her every so often. Rather being scared of doing anything with Lewis’ family without him being there, Nadia kept a distance but kept a huge smile on for the kids whenever Nicola would randomly facetime.

“I use this one cleanser, maybe that’s why.” The girl grinned, kinda nervous that anyone could see her slight limp. “Sure, a cleanser. You look amazing, though. The kids were happy to see you on screen on Sunday, they were buzzing.” The older woman spoke.

“I missed them a lot. Austria was insane, it was cold and nothing was going right but at least we’re here for Silverstone.” Nadia shrugged, not wanting to talk about the previous grand prix that gave her stress. “I’ve never really liked that track so I understand you fully.” Nicola nodded after responding.

Nadia looked behind Nicola for a bit and unbeknownst to her, her eyes smiled with a lingering feeling within them. Lewis approached the two woman standing in the hallway but Nicola could already tell as she watched her sister in law fall in love in front of her.

The siblings greeted each other with hugs before Lewis turned to Nadia. “There’s someone I want you to meet.” He told her, a soft expression on his face as he saw become slightly nervous. “Oh, do I look okay?” She asked the siblings and they nodded simultaneously. “I’ll be right here so I show you around the house.” Nicola said, giving her a thumbs up before walking away.

“You seem to know the house well.” Nadia commented as her hand fit snug into Lewis’ hand to wherever he was leading her. “Willow and Kaiden dragged me around the house while you were chatting.” He responded. His hands led her by the shoulders towards the kitchen of the house, a large well lit space that felt like home with a modern touch.

A short woman with white hair was standing by the island, talking to the ever positive Miles. Upon hearing the new footsteps entering the kitchen, the woman turned around and gasped at the sight before her before a smile took over her face. “Hi mum.” Lewis chuckled and in that moment, Nadia’s stomach dropped.

Snapping her head to look at Lewis then his mom, she eventually saw the resemblance between the two and her heart fluttered. She moved to greet Miles with a hug before turning to the older woman. “Mum, I’d like you to meet my wife, Nadia.” He introduced her. The girl took a quick breath before greeting. “Hello, it’s so nice to meet you.” She said softly, being at eye level with the older woman.

Carmen didn’t have to say anything, she quickly embraced Nadia in a hug with a chuckle in between. “My dear, the pleasure’s all mine. Aren’t you the stunner.” His mother smiled, gently placing her hand on Nadia’s cheek. “Is he treating you well?” Carmen continued.

“Like a queen.” Nadia smiled, her attention never moving away from his mom. The two women were so caught up in their conversation that they hadn’t realised that the boys had left the kitchen. “Oh and I brought cinnamon rolls along with other desserts!” Nadia expressed excitedly, walking around the kitchen after offering her help to make charcuterie boards to bring to the set up in the backyard.

“He had mentioned that you made him Macarons, I’d love the recipe or even a baking session one day.” Carmen spoke, adjusting her glasses and in that moment, Nadia felt right at home.

Several hours later, everyone had gotten comfortable in the backyard adorned with fairy lights with the table set up in the garden. Miles and Daniel played basketball in the tennis court tucked behind the garden, their cheers and laughter heard from quite far. Amara, who landed in London a week early for Silverstone was helping Nicola with the music playlist and Nadia was entertaining the kids with giant jenga.

Lewis and his father overlooked the backyard with glasses of juice in their hands, Lewis particularly admiring Nadia with the kids.

“What are you thinking there, son?” Anthony asked. “I love her so much, Dad. It clicked quite some time ago but I don’t know how she feels and that…scares me.” Lewis confessed.

Anthony wasn’t surprised at his son’s words. “Was it Oxford that clicked for you?” He asked Lewis. Releasing a deep breath, Lewis tightened his grip on his glass. “She was telling me about her graduation and I wanted to just tell her that I was there supporting her and cheering for her but I knew I couldn’t tell her.” He sighed.

“You made a good choice, Lewis. That girl does love you and this family. It just took a couple of years.” Anthony chuckled before taking a sip of juice. “Her mother however…She’s got issues and it’s not easy being in-laws with her.” His father revealed.

“Dad, what do you mean?” Lewis raised an eyebrow and his dad let out a sigh. “Thembi hates her daughter and it’s so sad. She sent her back home so that she wouldn’t come back but Nadia being the intelligent girl she is, came back to the uk to be in Oxford and Cambridge. She only really has a relationship with her mom because of her stepdad.”

In that moment, Lewis felt his heart break for Nadia. This entire situation was quite complicated but to hear the dislike between mother and daughter was very hard. “She was gunning for Nadia to get married so that she could make money off of her. Tia, your pr manager, was a genius for taking Nadia before her mother got to her.” He added.

All this information made Lewis’ admiration for her grow even further. He could see that her side of the family wasn’t really there for her but put an excuse that they were just busy with their own lives. Being shaken out of his thoughts by someone tapping on his shoulder, he looked to see Nicola on his right. “Dinner’s ready.” She smiled.

Chatter scattered around the outdoor dinner table as different things were passed around and jokes were flying around. Many different varieties of food were dished out, making sure there was something for everyone. Nicolas arrived a bit later to the dinner, already claiming a soft spot in Nadia’s heart before everyone sat down.

Her manicured hand held her champagne flute as she laughed loudly at Amara’s story telling skills. Flashes would go off from Miles’ camera who wanted to capture every moment of this picturesque dinner. Nadia’s seat was so close to Lewis’ that there was barely any space left, their legs constantly touching and his arm leaning over her chair. Engaged in two different conversations, the couple remained close throughout.

“Aunty Dia! Can we have the cinnamon rolls?” Willow and Kaiden ran up to her seat, escaping their seats from their parents. Immediately scooting her seat back, Nadia gave her attention to the kids who eagerly held paper plates with serviettes on them. “Of course! Do you want them warm or cold?” She asked the kids, tucking her hair behind her ear.

“Warm!” Willow shouted out and Kaiden just nodded along. “Okay let me take off my jacket then we’ll go.” She smiled. Turning to Lewis, she spoke. “Baby, can you take my jacket? I’m going to the kitchen with the kids.” She asked, already taking the Louis Vuitton jacket off.

The surprised expression on Lewis was quickly replaced with a smirk. “What’d you call me?” He asked with a teasing tone. Catching on to his antics, Nadia rolled her eyes with a smile. “Baby, thank you for taking my jacket.” She said, leaning in to peck to his lips which he happily took. Finally standing up, she held both the children’s hands to go to the well lit kitchen.

“So. When’s the wedding?” Miles spoke, shoving a macaron into his mouth. “Miles, I’m already married.” Lewis said, adjusting his seating. “The actual wedding, bruv. It’s just heart eyes everytime she does anything.” His friend joked, the whole table joining in and laughing.

“I still have to tell her how I feel.” Lewis chuckled and like clockwork, Amara’s hand smacked the back of his head. “If you don’t tell that woman that you love her, I’ll do it for you.” The woman threatened which garnered even more laughter.

“I wanna do it in the perfect moment. She deserves the world and I want to give that to her, even more later in life. It’s like there’s much more light in my life now that she’s in it, y’know?” Lewis spoke, the whole table admiring the way he spoke about Nadia.

“Well then. We’ll have to make sure this marriage stays protected from the public.” Anthony nodded to his son. Willow’s giggles came closer and closer to the table, her brother and Nadia following suite. “What did I miss?” The woman asked as soon as she plopped down in her seat.

“We were just about to talk about Silverstone, my dear.” Carmen responded, smiling at her daughter in law. “Oh lovely!” Nadia chirped up, scooting her chair closer to Lewis’ with his hand comfortably falling on her thigh.

-

SILVERSTONE

Admittedly so, this track was by far Nadia’s favourite. The paddock was alive, spotting countless people who looked like her (finally) and they donned their Lewis merch. Cameras surrounding her as she walked with her furry companion who seemed to lead the way.

She welcomed everyone who wanted to greet Roscoe and was more surprised at people who wanted to meet her. Race day was undeniably the most busy, people who’ve flown in from different countries just to support her husband. Nadia made sure to update everyone on her instagram throughout her day.

The fan stage was going on and when she heard the loud screams, she knew Lewis stepped on with his giggles through the mic following after. Finally stopping at the Mercedes hospitality, she decided to sit outside to let Roscoe rest from the walk they shared. The family was in their own paddock club suite, patiently waiting for the race. She’d join everyone for the first half of the race then spend the rest of it in the garage.

It all seemed like a good weekend. Seemed.

She really tried her best to be distracted by her phone but her hearing skills were working hard and listened in to the conversation from the group of 4 who were standing right beside the hospitality suite.

“I hate his confidence, he thinks he owns the place!” The one exclaimed.

“Right? It’s all too annoying. He sucks but he doesn’t see that because of his fame. Stupid guy.” Another spoke up.

‘Okay, this could be about any driver.’ Nadia thought.

“Then he comes in her wearing dirty clothes, bringing in his ratchet wife who can’t even dress for the occasion. This isn’t the hood!” There it was. Calmly standing, she called Roscoe and handed him to a worker, making her way to the group. She held her pants, thankfully wearing sneakers.

Nadia hadn’t noticed that Lewis and his teammate were on their way back to the hospitality suite, only one thing was on her mind. She ran her teeth over her grillz before sniffing, making her appearance known to the group.

“Hi, not too sure if you were aware but you’re making an awful lot of noise.” Nadia spoke, a stoic expression on her face. One of them turned to look at Nadia then scoffed.

“What are you going to do about it?” They asked, looking at her up and down with a scowl on her face.

“I’m here to tell you to shut up if you have nothing better to do with your life other than stand here talking about a driver and his wife.” She spoke, tilting her head slightly. “Well, the words write themselves. You look like a thug.” They smirked.

Another chimed in. “If you loved yourself, you wouldn’t look like a clown. Tell that husband of yours to clean up his act on track, there’s a reason why he’s behind all the great.”

“You need to shut the fuck up. Who do you think you guys are?” Nadia began pointing her fingers at them. Unaware of her surroundings, people were recording the whole thing and Lewis was drawing closer to the scene and saw his wife through it all. Miles even came down from the paddock club to see what was going on.

“You will not speak on my husband as if he’s one of your inferiors. I’m not scared of you so you standing here trying your best to intimidate me won’t work.” She continued, her hands clasped in front of her.

“Your mum-“ The main guy couldn’t even finish whatever bullshit he was about to spew before his shirt was grabbed backwards by a security guard, specifically one of Lewis’.

Pointing to his forehead with her nail on her pointer finger. “You better watch your steps after this. You speak on my mom again, you won’t like what happens next.” She lowered her voice to speak to him specifically. “Take your little friend and get the fuck out of here, you pathetic piece of shit.” Nadia clicked her tongue in annoyance.

The security guard dragged him away but his friend still stood there frozen. She stared at him then gave him a fright by stepping forward, the expression on her face never faltering. Nadia turned her heels to walk back to where she was seated, ignoring the eyes on her. Roscoe sat right by her feet again as she picked up her phone.

“Nadia.” She lifted her head up to see her husband standing in front of her, Miles stood behind him doubling over in laughter. “Hi Lewis.” She smiled, an innocent smile taking over her face.

He couldn’t keep the smile off his face as he leaned in to kiss her forehead. “That was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.” He spoke. Lewis knew that she had a fighting spirit that he never wanted to cross but seeing it being used on other people evoked something else in him.

“Tia will call in a few and talk my ear off but I don’t give a fuck. If anyone thinks they can talk shit about you, I’ll deal with it.” Nadia smiled, showing off her grillz once again. Kissing her once again on the lips, Lewis smiled, incredibly proud of her.

The race was nothing short of exhilarating, nothing could compare to the feeling that she felt watching the screens in the garage. She chose to not have headphones on as she stood next to Anthony, Linda and Nicolas, the camera panning over to her focused gaze on her husband’s car.

Silverstone had an insane atmosphere, the support for Lewis was so strong that she knew it fueled him throughout the race. With five laps left, she knew he had the podium in the bag. Once he crossed the finish line, she screamed and cheered with her in laws, hugs being exchanged with the cheers from Merc employees also filling the atmosphere.

The post race interview after he got out of the car had featured her and his family watching him from the side, all wearing the proud expression on their faces. Nadia’s ‘44’ necklace shining from the little sunshine that Silverstone had to offer. The podium celebration was one for the books, fans surrounding with cheers mainly for the British drivers on the podium.

Even going out of her way to congratulate Lando, her husband followed after with a big grin on his face. Hugging his family first, his touch lingered on Nadia for much longer. “You’re full of sweat, Lew.” She laughed when he wouldn’t let go of her.

All he did was shrug and kiss her forehead. “I gotta go for interviews, see you later?” He spoke, his hand on his hip still quite breathless.

“No problem.” She smiled. “I lo-“ He was interrupted by Miles running to give him a bone crushing hug. Nadia thought she was hearing things but shrug it off watching Lewis celebrate with everyone around him.

imessage!

Rea! <3

saint’s notes 🪩: hope you enjoyed! it also looks a bit odd because it was written in google docs lol

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