#i really am so obsessed with their situation back then. how fucking terrifying. tell me more.

[lesbiangiratina]

Testament whyd you haveto say that. :(

[offside-the-lines]

MattDrai Fic Recs

So @irrelevanttous and @puckthisshift sent me the ask meme prompt for "what my favorite Mattdrai fic is" and I went on a JOURNEY lemme tell ya. I ended up figuring out how to download my AO3 history (in which I discovered that in the last year, I've read like literally 50% of all the MattDrai fics ever written) to help me figure out what my faves were. So here are some (most? I hope?), split into categories.

General Faves:

head above water by yourblues (@msmargaretmurry) 🔒 (E, 91.1k) This might be one of the best pieces of RPF ever written; it's a classic. I have visited this fic literally 21 times. It has everything: stupidity, pining, incredible sex, falling for each other, also more stupidity. Chapter 6 literally rips my entire soul out every time. I think this fic permanently altered my brain chemistry. It's a perennial re-read.

only fools rush in by @bropunzeling 🔒 (E, 94.9k) This is another fic that is a Must Read for HRPF as a whole. The entire time, I just want to reach through the screen and wring both of their necks for being so incredibly dense. And I love everything about this, especially just the way it's written is so incredible.

Growing Into Someone by @blaahaj 🔒 (E, 46.5k) God, I love this fic so much, I come back to it all the time. I think this must've been one of the first Mattdrai works I read. But I just love how natural the initial tension is, and how inevitable their falling in love is, and how the climax happens and resolves is just so incredible.

Undo Falling for You by crookedsilence (@csblogs) 🔒 (T, 16.1k) This is an AU I guess? I put it in this section because it's Hanahaki, so like only kinda AU. Either way, I am obsessed with this! It is just emotionally perfect. Highly recommend.

rough dream? by reticent 🔒 (M, 7.2k) So, this fic is probably the most "out there" suggestion because of the warning (I'll get to that part) but this fic is literally the most perfect microcosm of what Mattdrai fics tend to have: pining, lack of communication, falling in love while being terrified of falling in love, etc. This is a time loop fic where Matthew is stuck in the time loop but it's told from the perspective of Leon. It is absolutely incredible. I think about this fic ALL THE TIME. The warning is for a suicide, but no "actual" character death because the time loop resets.

i'll tell you when to stop by dogjuice 🔒 (E, 39.6k) (McMattDrai) This is the real answer to 'what fic do you send people if they want to get into MattDrai'. I have sent this to so many people because it is perfect. Everything about this is perfect. Matthew's internal dialogue and his anxiety, and his perception of what's happening. The second half of the fic is so well-written and suspenseful. Something I feel it will give me a heart attack even though I've read it like 10 times.

Future Fics

Saving the Best for Last by @puckingtrash 🔒 (E, 100.1k) This is the fic that made me obsessed with Future Fics of current rivals. There's just a level of camaraderie and understanding that happens after that many years in the same league; it doesn't matter how much beef you had. And this fic is just so incredible. I love thinking about what these guys do after retirement. A must read IMO.

home by now by daisysusan (@hopetorun) 🔒 (E, 102.3k) Probably one of the best fics. I love the way this builds up and keeps you on edge. It really mirrors how Matty feels, just this general unease of knowing something is wrong but not knowing what. The laying of the pining with the hurt and confusion is just so well done.

back to where we lasted by @ohtemporas 🔒 (E, 34.4k) Trade fics are always so interesting with these two. Especially in the situation where they are exes. And one of them (Leon in this case) has fucked up greatly, and they need to figure out how to get past it because neither of them are over it. Or in this case, figure out how to do it again, but properly.

Old Flames Burn Brighter by @cisumox (E, 25k) I love this fic so much because of the way they are both clearly affected by what happened and how much they still want to love each other. I think about this one al the time. Warning: this does involve a career ending injury.

settle down in the Sunshine State by @puckthisshift 🔒 (E, 14.7k) This has my fave Mattdrai trope where one of them is a fucking idiot, and is so in their head about it. And they have absolutely no idea what literally every single other person knows. In this case, it's Matthew. I absolutely love this fic. I read it all the time.

gather your broken lessons and move by rumandwhine 🔒 (E, 30.5k) This one is super interesting because it doesn't involve a trade, or them in the same place. It is the same as it was before, but different. How are they doing to figure out what went wrong and how are they going to make sure they don't make the same mistakes? They are older now, but are they any less stupid. Keep reading to find out. (Also featuring an absolutely hilarious situation with Drai and his rookie).

AUs

linger by @bropunzeling 🔒 (E, 65.5k) (Omegaverse) This is another all timer. It is so incredible: the way they are just so inexplicably drawn to each other, and obsessed but so worried about their obsession. And the way Leon treats Matthew as something really special from the beginning (and how Matthew just doesn't seem to pick up on that). The way that things build towards the climax, with the ASG 2023 moment (which makes me want to rip my eyeballs out every time; it HURTS). It has all the best parts of omegaverse and explores their relationships with their dynamics so thoughtfully.

whatever promises I made by @puckthisshift 🔒 (E, 360k) (Omegaverse) Yet another all timer for the genre as a whole. The way that omegaverse is explored here is so interesting. It was the fic that really got me on board with the AU. It is so core to the way the characters interact with each other and the world, and the inherent traumas it brings really parallels some of the experiences of populations in the real world (e.g. women).

so is the longing by dogjuice 🔒 (E, 44.7k) (Omegaverse) When I tell you I have read this fic sooooo many times. It is so so good (and so hot). Matthew is so incredibly oblivious and Leon is pining so hard and down soooooo bad. I think Leon's love for Matthew can be seen from like Alpha centauri and yet Matthew totally misses it (among other things). This is SO good.

Egos and Eligibility by @puckthisshift 🔒 (E, 91.1k) (Regency & Omegaverse) I will continue to suck up to my good friend Iris LOL. But seriously, I read this before I even knew it was her and I love it so much. I adore Regency Matthew and the way Leon is literally ever MMC from the era (Mr Darcy) is so funny to me (why so pissy Leon). Regency is such a perfect setting for the Omegaverse tropes of courting and, also again, exploring the societal impact of having these dynamics in play. I think the part where Matthew goes into heat is SO funny and well written. Bridgerton wishes.

Royal Pain by lavender_hazyy 🔒 (E, 48.9k) + Sequel Rules of Engagement (E, 37.8k) (Medieval/Royalty/Bridgerton/Robin Hood) That sounds like the most bonkers combination of things, but it's truly so so so good. I recommend this one SO much. It's so much fun to read, and their interactions are so funny. Poor Connor is always experiencing the Horrors in the background. Everything about this is perfection. THE FUCKING LOVE LETTERS OMG.

bittersweet and strange by @puckthisshift 🔒 (E, 53.4k) (Fairytale Curses) Will I ever stop thinking about this? Probably not. :) I think so much of this is a metaphor for the "beast" that Matthew portrays himself to be (maybe believes himself to be) irl. Also, I will never get enough of Taryn as a character; she is just incredible. I will literally never forget the reveal at the end (and ever villain I ever write will be henceforth inspired by you). (Also, curly haired tiger Matthew, you will always be real to me. Leon + me *handshake emoji* wanting to tough Matthew's fur).

I honestly don't even think this is ALL of the Mattdrai fics I think about regularly/reread regularly. But these are at least a lot of them. There are also so many good recommendation lists on this website when you search for "mattdrai fic recs" that will include even more fics than the ones I've selected.

Legitimately, thank you to all Mattdrai writers out there for being the fucking GOATs. I don't know what I would be reading if not this.

[waitingonthewind]

Out of all your characters (from games or otherwise), which one do you think is the most like you? In what ways? Was it intentional, or was it an accident you only noticed after the fact?

(Feel free to delete if it feels too personal 🙈)

@undead-potatoes aaaaaa thanks so much for the ask!!! i don't love doing self reflection (i have a hard time in identifying things about myself and often rely on other people to Tell Me Who I Am) but i love talkin about my ocs so this ended up really big

ill pop the majority of this under the cut but here take an unfinished doodle of my first attempt at a fursona in this the year 2023 bc i finally had some insight into What That Might Be for me its a leafy sea dragon bc as a kid i loved dragons and also leafy sea dragons specifically and as an adult i love fish and plants and the colour green ok basics covered here we go

its a really tough one, especially since all my characters have huge parts of me in them (u point to one of my guys and there's a 99% chance they're queer and a 95% chance they're autistic), and the majority of my characters infect me with Their personalities and traits (speech mannerisms especially... i went about 3 years peppering the word gotcha into every other sentence bc of ollwyn. in terms of it being intentional, usually only one or two bits with each character. i try my best to give characters personality traits and interests that differ from my own, or at the very least mix and match bits and pieces.

sometimes i'll try and make characters that are so so different from me but then it backfires because it means that im far more likely to pick up that character's traits (i didn't swear at All in my whole life until i tried making a character outside my comfort zone who Did swear a lot and now fucking look at me). i also don't like doing my Research so going for interests that i don't know a lot about means i don't. know anything about them lmao.

i think it's impossible to have a character that isn't at least Somewhat like you, we draw from our own experiences and ways of seeing the world, after all. i know i put little pieces of myself into every character and it's hard to say if there's any One character that embodies me most.

almost none of my characters really look like me tho

all that being said i've narrowed down my entire list to three of note. all three are dnd or other ttrpg characters bc they're the ones that i find myself having to think most about in terms of how they Think and Feel in any given situation and over time would notice stuff about myself or about them that i didn't realise were related.

i think these days ollwyn wins out personality wise goofy, indignant, lonely, desperate for approval, and loud. they're stubborn and enthusiastic, needs to be centre of attention but doesn't want to take the lead. they don't have many friends but latch onto those they do make. i re-realised my rat dreams because of them. i made em a bard bc i was obsessed with music as an aesthetic.

i made em a half-elf because i didn't wanna be Too out there with character creation (back when i was a terrified lil new rp-er who hadn't touched dnd before and felt i hadn't Earned anything more interesting yet). then magic and stuff happened and they got all the over-the-top design elements i was too nervous to implement initially and even that feels representative of my Own growth in being more Out There with my aesthetics and personality (i.e. completely shutting off my social filter, not toning shit down so much anymore)

oh i know i said none of my characters really look like me but i almost never draw ollwyn with their mouth fully closed and i only realised like years later that it may have been just a mild lil projection of a habit. i got big front teeth and breathing issues and i find it uncomfortable to close my lips Most of the time lmao

my poor unfortunately named aasimar (it was 2018........ i promise...............) takes the cake when it comes to suffering the brunt of my neurodivergence and sensory issues, and represents a significant portion of the judgy parts of myself that i try not to let myself be. strong opinions, blunt, tone issues, big issues with food and touch. comes across as, and often is, very critical. the biggest difference between me and them is that they don't feel bad about those aspects of themself lol

where i spend every moment of my life either desperately concentrating on my wording so as not to come across as rude, or feeling shitty for coming across as blunt/aggressive in tone or phrasing (where 99% of the time i absolutely don't mean it that way im autistic pls im autistic if i wanna be able to get the Right words out the tone doesn't match and vice versa), corona just says what they want or what they think, and if people get offended, that's People's fault for not trying to make more of an effort to understand the way they talk.

sal is my Top Oc Of All Time and as such takes on a lot of random aspects of myself (skin picking, fidgeting, latent anxiety, All of the visual aesthetics i Wish i could pull off, my love of birds, my tendency to Mr Burns Posture my way through life. she's also very very australian), while also inflicting things on me lmao ive learned more about my gender from the years of playing her in her rp campaign than in the rest of my entire life. a lot of her experiences and dynamics with her friends and family reflect a lot of aspects of my own

i only want good things for her and constantly put her through fucking hell

anyway they're all So Much Weirder as people than I can really put on paper and in (relatively) different ways but i just know it all stems from the Who I Am of it all

bonus shout out to beki:

she was my homestuck fankid and first proper oc, which also meant that she was only about two steps away from a self insert. because i made her as a teenager, i feel the distance between us more each year, but im still very fond of her, in the same way i am for my teenage self. i wanna pat her head and tell her she's cool and not annoying and that her friends don't hate her and that things will be okay

i think it says a lot about me that all four of these guys fall somewhere on the aro/ace spectrum (almost in order of least to most aggressively aro/ace. ollwyn's a demiromantic greysexual, corona is demi + grey on both romantic & sexual orientations, sal's pretty much only interested in the One Guy Ever, and beki is sex repulsed, 100% aro/ace) lmao

[dollmoth-productions]

MY CHILD

⚠️TW OBSESSIVE BEHAVIOR STALKING POSSESSIVE BEHAVIOR STOCKHOLM SYNDROME MANIPULATION ABUSIVE BEHAVIOR AND DRUGGING DO NOT DO ANY OF THIS ITS NOT HEALTHY yet again another one shot no Corrections or pre-read ⚠️

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Moth began to stir awake feeling the heaviness of the sleeping powder go away. They couldn't help but still feel so sleepy as their eyes adjusted to the dimly lit room everything became clear including their vision. Once their Vision fully came back they were terrified this wasn't their outfit. It looked like a traditional Japanese outfit. It was beautiful but what was the name again Yutaka right? Why would they be wearing this?

Something wasn't right and it showed they had to get the tension of someone this wasn't their house. As they attempted to scream something quickly was shoved in their mouth it tasted like porridge rice porch to be exact. Before they can even react they choke on the substance spitting it out" WHAT THE HELL " they continue to cough and gag. Hondo felt displeased with this " you have eaten my porridge before I don't get what's the big deal" he said with a Sinister smirk appearing on his face they slowly turned to the man that was meant to be one of their friends " Hondo thank God you're here you can help me get out of here right I don't know where I am and I'm terrified!"

Of course there was a long pause before they heard something; it sounded like a chuckle before it turned into a gut-wrenching laugh. He continued to laugh. It was awful they didn't understand why they were tied up to a chair. " I'm sorry my dear but you just make me laugh so hard sometimes I guess that's why you're perfect" his smile never faded it was awful Moth was hoping it was some sick twisted joke but it wasn't this was real.

Moth looked shocked; they were still confused about what was going on. Honda yet again forced another spoonful of porridge in their mouth and before they can spit it out Hondo held their jaw shut " s w a l l o w i t " moth was visibly shaking at this moment finally swallowing the porridge they were shaking at this point. Stood up and set the porch down on top of a dresser before he pulled up a chair and sat down across from them " you might be wondering why you were here well you know how me and the misses have been wanting to you know adopt a kid we both agreed that..YOU will be our child now now I know that sounds crazy but you'll get to enjoy it you'll get everything you wanted and needed" he said was such a happy expression even though the situation was anything but "WHAT THE FUCK HONDO?!?" Moth was completely cut off again by Hondo slapping them across the face" now now do not swear at your father" he looked them up and down noticing how frightened they were putting on a sickly sweet voice and gently caressed their cheek. 

" Now I know this is a little strange but you'll meet your mom in a few minutes and I know you'll find her lovely. I believe you two met before you were even friends!" Hondo said as he got up again " and you must thank her she makes the most delicious rice porridge!" He said smiling tilting his head he always had such a way of expressing his emotions it would have been endearing if it wouldn't be for the situation.

Moth looked at Hondo following them with their eyes as he walked around the room " I'm going out to get some stuff to decorate your room. You can't have a boring room like this, you need something perfect! …. Don't worry you'll meet your mother and your sister will babysit you since well you're still so little" he said smiling tilting his head as he got up and walked out of the room. Mom tried their best to break out of the chair but nothing was working they were tied down with chains. They started hearing someone walk close to the room and they were preparing for an attack before they met a familiar person. It was almost like a ghost they could almost tell it was her by her feather inspired Yutaka ".....L Leonora is …..is it really you" there was a long pause before moth can even realize" but you've been missing since July…… how are you here are you WHY are you here" moth was desperately trying to get her attention just to talk to speak to do anything.

" he's gone could listen I don't have much time to even do this but here" Adarna worked as fast as she could trying to unlock their chains " Beatrix is going to be on the lookout for you you have to run as fast as you can especially since Honda will be here anytime in the next few hours" Moth paused s for a few seconds before they could even react " did you not hear me run!" Shouted the bird themed boxer and before  moth could even react they ran out as fast as they could trying to find the front door. Once they did they ran out they started running as fast as they could with no hesitation. They felt the wind in their face. It was getting colder here, they could tell. All they had to do was run, run , run. Adarna took a sigh of relief ".......please please run" she said it gently held in her hands close to her chest

Beatrix stuck behind her tilting her eyebrow up slightly, smiling before she pulled out her phone and took a picture. As she took the picture she got ready to dial her father " hey my sibling got out" Beatrix sat down and looked out the window waiting for the chaos to start.

 

Finally once Moth started running their feet started to hurt the shoes that they were wearing were hurting their feet but they had to run they started hearing someone behind them it obviously couldn't be Hondo he went to the store right. But they just ran as fast as they could. This would be a fun challenge if it wasn't for the situation.

Finally once mom's got to the end of the forest they started walking before finally someone stepped in front of them.

Hondo when he took one step closer moth took one step back " now I know things are different but this is no way a child should act. I'll bring you home and you won't be punished come home darling" moth had such an angry expression. Hondo's expression was still full of love. Truly he never really went to the store he just acted like he did to trick them he had to test their loyalty and obviously they needed some work

" now come home to Papa"

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Adarna belongs to the wonderful @nesssblog

Beatrix lovegoon belongs to the wonderful @enitysworld

[mypoisonedvine]

Seeing Red | bodyguard!Bucky Barnes x actress!reader (part 9 - FINALE)

(part 1) (part 2) (part 3) (part 4) (part 5) (part 6) (part 7) (part 8)

series summary: bucky used to brag that he didn’t have a celebrity crush, or really care about famous people at all, which is what made him the perfect person to start working for a celebrity like yourself.  except, of course, it’s just his luck that he’d fall for you.

word count: 7.2k

warnings: smut (oral f receiving), semi-public sex (in a parked car) angst, arguments, implied smut, sappiness, time skips, some alcohol consumption here and there, lots of talking about issues including bucky's ptsd, I really have no idea how to warn for this but IT’S THE END SO STRAP IN FOLKS

Since that night, it had been like a stand-off in a Western movie, none of you saying anything because you had no idea what to say. Whenever he tried to start the conversation, you brushed him off.

You took a cab home from the event. He slept in his own room for the first time in months.

Finally, suddenly, you were ready to talk about it nearly 30 hours later, knocking on the guest room door and entering to find Bucky on his bed, re-reading Flowers for Algernon. He sat up quickly and shut it, setting it aside. “Hey,” he greeted softly, hesitant like you were a deer in a clearing and he was extending a handful of grain in his palm.

“Hey,” you returned, already fighting back your emotions. “I think I’m ready to talk.”

“Okay,” he nodded. “I’m ready to listen.”

“I just… I want to make sure that you understand this is a really big deal.”

He nodded again.

“I had to do a lot of damage control to prevent being banned from all HFPA events— that includes the Golden Globes, you know, I can’t exactly skip those just because my boyfriend went fucking nuts at a party.” And there was the anger again— you had tried to wait until you could be neutral about this but it barely lasted, mainly because you were still embarrassed about the way you’d handled yourself that night. “You’re lucky not many people saw; you’re lucky no reporters were there! Can you imagine if someone had a fucking picture of this? There were cameras everywhere, what the fuck were you thinking?”

“I wasn’t thinking!” he defended. “I saw you with him and he was touching you and I just… I saw red.”

You sighed slowly. “That’s not a good thing. That’s really, really concerning.”

“I know, I agree— you’re right. I need…” he trailed off, taking a breath before starting over. “I need to work on that.”

“Yeah,” you agreed. “I just… I can’t really be a part of that. You need to work on that on your own.”

He stood up instantly, almost looking… afraid? Terrified, really, and heartbroken. “On my own, like what? What does that mean?”

“It means that I think maybe you should go back to your own apartment for a while. I just… need to be alone for a bit.”

“You need to be alone?” he repeated. “Or you need to be away from me?’

“Both.”

His head fell into his hands instantly. "Please don't tell me I fucked this up," he whimpered. "Please don't tell me I ruined this."

"I— I don't know."

"Please, please, please," he sighed, just louder than a whisper, suddenly stepping forward, grabbing your hand and clutching it to his chest. "Look at me," he begged.

You did, hesitantly, fighting everything in you that wanted to cry (and not doing so good of a job at it).

"Please, I lo—"

"Don't," you grimaced. "Don't say that."

"But it's true."

"It doesn't matter!" you yelped, surprising both of you with your volume.

“Are we going to have a chance to talk about this again? Am I going to get a chance to make it up to you?”

“You don’t make it up to me, you fix it. And that takes time.”

He shook his head, looking shocked and confused and completely blindsided which made you feel sick to your stomach. “How long?”

“I don’t know…” you mumbled.

“Am I not going to see you at all, for however long it takes?” he pressed.

“I… that’s sort of the idea.”

He shivered and pulled you into a hug. “Please don’t hate me forever,” he whispered against the top of your head.

“I don’t hate you,” you promised, doing your best not to hug him back even though all you wanted was to wrap yourself around him and feel safe in his arms again.

“Then don’t make me go,” he pleaded as he pulled back, clutching your face. “Let me stay and we can work through this together.”

“That’s not how this works,” you reminded him

“But I don’t know how to be without you,” he explained shakily.

“That’s not really my problem!” you yelped, and he turned away like he’d been slapped, dropping his hands from your face. A long, heavy silence fell between you as you watched him stand there, contemplating.

“If this is my last chance,” he finally spoke softly, barely breaking the silence, “to say everything I want to say…”

“It’s not,” you assured. “We’re going to talk about this again, but you need to go now.”

He nodded, his adam’s apple bobbing with a swallow of nothing. When he looked at you again, you hated how much bluer his eyes looked when they were bloodshot and filled with tears. “Can I kiss you?”

You shook your head. He bit his lip and turned to walk away; you stared at your feet because you couldn’t watch him go.

You heard him grab his backpack, shoving a few things from the drawers into it; he set his key on the table, walked into the open hall, and as soon as you heard the front door open and shut you were plunged into solitude and silence. With a whimper, you crumpled to the floor and cried, the look of betrayal on his face burned into your mind.

It was obvious, to your horror, that he really hadn’t seen it coming; he hadn’t packed his things, or prepared in any way for the conversation going like that. He had been waiting for an olive branch and got a switch to the face instead. You didn’t know anything about working on relationships, repairing broken things… when something went wrong, all you knew how to do was bail.

You knew how to do a new take and say the line right this time. You knew how to take off your eyeliner and start over. You knew how to kick unsuspecting C-listers out of cars because you already got yours. But you didn’t know how to stay, and work, and frankly you were just too scared to try. Last time you tried to make it work, you got burned. And as much as a logical part of you knew that wasn’t Bucky’s fault or responsibility, your heart just couldn’t survive another relationship where you put everything into putting the pieces back together while the other person stood there and watched you just to pull them apart again.

It had to end at some point, right? It was you, it was him… and that’s just how these things go.

//

He knew it was too good to be true. He knew you were too good for him. Anybody with at least one eyeball and half a brain could see that. But still, he hadn’t been ready to let you go.

Being in his apartment felt like stopping in a ghost town; there might as well have been a tumbleweed rolling through the living room. It was beyond a bachelor pad: it was more like an unfinished work site, considering his ‘couch’ was cinderblocks and a few two-by-fours, and his bed was a mattress on the floor.

One toothbrush. No books. A half-empty shampoo bottle in the shower and some hard water stains he needed to scrub away at some point.

This place didn’t feel like a home, it barely felt like a livable space. It was a three-dimensional homage to how empty his life had been before you, and he realized that was only his own fault.

Then again, this was all his fault.

But still, he had let himself obsess over you, turn you into his whole world and it made him into somebody he didn’t want to be. He had been working so hard to keep you happy, inspired more than anything by his fear to lose you, that he’d forgotten to give you space and now here he was… giving you so much more space than he ever wanted to, or knew how to deal with.

But he wanted to use this, if he could. As much as it was tempting to binge on junk food, drink too much and watch porn for an hour, as much as he wanted to run away from everything he was feeling, he owed it to you and to himself to face it all and learn from it. He wanted to be the man you deserved, if that was even humanly possible; he wanted to be who you used to think he was.

//

The next week went by in a blur: a blur filled with shitty romcoms, Ben & Jerry’s straight from the carton, and phone calls ignored.

It would all be fine with time, you knew that, but god, it fucking hurt now. It made you want to call him and at least apologize for having sex with him when you knew he wouldn’t have wanted to if he knew you were upset. More time and distance from the situation made you appreciate that it was manipulative, even if it by no means justified the way he grabbed you, or shoving anybody in the first place.

Truth was, you were scared of Bucky long before that happened. You were scared of how strong your feelings were for him; and, in turn, you were scared of how strong his feelings were for you. You felt loved by him, and you didn’t know what to do with that. So you self-destructed.

Just in time to tear you out of your spiralling thoughts, the intercom buzzed from the front gate. You furrowed your brow, wondering who it could be, and got up to check the camera feed.

You couldn’t see the face of the driver, just his arm, but you’d recognize that Rolex on his wrist anywhere.

“What do you want?” you asked coldly, holding down the intercom talk button.

"Let me in," Sam instructed.

"And why should I?"

"Cause if you don't, I'll press charges against your boyfriend."

BEEP BEEP BEEP! the gate announced its opening.

You took the time while he parked his car and walked to the door to throw out the wrappers from all your questionable “meals” (i.e., candy and ramen), change into slightly nicer sweats and splash your face so you looked slightly less dead. Just as you came downstairs from your rushed primping, Sam knocked on the door and you turned off the TV, tossing the remote aside. “It’s open!” you called out.

He turned the knob and stepped in with just one foot, peering around.

“Is the Terminator home?” he asked coyly. “Cause I actually think I’ve been assaulted enough for one week.”

“No, he’s gone. And don’t call him that.”

“What?” he shrugged, finally coming all the way in and letting the door swing shut on its own, taking his shades off and sliding them into the collar of his v-neck shirt. “It’s a compliment, and you really invite the killer robot comparisons when you’re part robot, look like a killer, and act like a thug.”

“He’s sensitive about the arm, okay? It’s one of the reasons he… it’s part of why we waited so long to go public.”

Sam glanced down to beside the door, where three pairs of your shoes were haphazardly lined up while his boots were noticeably absent. “And the fact that he’s moved out? When’s that gonna go public?” He always had an eye for these things, the bastard.

“I… I don’t know,” you sighed. “What do you want, exactly? Because honestly, I really can’t handle you right now.”

“I’m just trying to be a friend,” he explained, stepping closer again as you leaned against the breakfast bar.

“You seemed a lot more than friendly on Saturday,” you reminded him. “God, Sam, why did you have to do that?”

“So it’s my fault, then?” he rolled his eyes.

“No, of course not,” you assured, “but you knew I wasn’t single. I was actually happy… did you even want me back? Or did you just want to fuck with my life?”

“I did want you back, really.” He paused for a moment, more serious than he almost ever got. “I still do.”

You scoffed, looking away. “What happened to just being a friend?”

“That’s not why I’m here, this time. I’m just here to tell you that I’m worried about you.”

You took your weight off the bar and circled it into the kitchen, Sam mirroring you by following around the other side. “Do you want something to drink?” you asked, opening the fridge. He opened his mouth to answer but then leaned in as he stared at your hand where it was right in front of his face gripping the refrigerator’s door handle.

"He did that to you?" Sam pointed to the bruise on your wrist. You let go of the fridge and pulled your sleeve down to cover it again but that was answer enough. "Jesus, babe, this guy's fucking crazy."

"He's not crazy, and don't call me that," you frowned. "I don't think he meant to, really— his prosthetic is powerful and it was in need of a recalibration. He shouldn’t have grabbed me, but, he probably didn’t mean to do it so hard.”

Sam didn’t seem too convinced by that explanation, but didn’t say anything.

“Believe it or don’t, Sam, but either way it’s none of your business,” you frowned.

“Right, I know,” he nodded. “I just want what’s best for you.”

“And that’s you?” you pressed with an incredulous raised brow, opening the fridge again to grab yourself a green juice (because you were, again, trying to look like you had your shit together) and starting to walk away.

“I’ve changed, believe it or not,” he explained as he followed you out of the kitchen again. “Occasionally, people are capable of that.”

“If that’s true, then I owe it to Bucky to wait for him like I said I would,” you shot back. “I told him to leave so we could work on things separately. Not so I could entertain your come-to-Jesus moment.”

“It’s not a ‘come-to-Jesus’ moment, it’s just a ‘give me another chance’ moment,” he corrected as you took a long sip of the juice, “it’s a ‘maybe we ended things too soon’ moment.”

You looked at him in silent judgment as you kept drinking, and the way he was looking at you made you glad the glass bottle was keeping your lips occupied.

“It’s an ‘I’m still in love with you’ moment.”

Before you could stop yourself, you spit the juice right onto him, covering your mouth in shock just a moment too late.

For one of those indefinite moments, you were just staring at each other while you both contemplated that you had said he loved you and you had spat juice onto him.

“Okay, I was prepared to get shot down,” he admitted. “This is… worse.”

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” you rushed, trying not to laugh, “I… I’ll get some paper towels, I can get you a new shirt, but it’ll have to be one of the ones Bucky left behind…”

“Oh god, it’s sticky,�� he grimaced, as he tried to peel his shirt from his skin, “can I just use your shower maybe?”

“Yeah, that’s fine,” you nodded, “upstairs and down—”

“I remember where it is,” he reminded you as he stepped past you to make his way to the bathroom. “I knew I should’ve waited to say it until she was done drinking…” you heard him mumble to himself before he disappeared and you heard the bathroom door shut.

But truthfully, it wasn’t really the fact that he said it, or the concept of Sam loving you at all that made you spit out your drink. It was that when he said it, you realized you were in love with Bucky. Which, yes, would’ve been obvious to anyone else but it came as quite a shock to you.

It made you realize that you wanted to make this work. You wanted to be vulnerable, you wanted to try, even if it ended just as badly as it nearly had last week; even if it meant dealing with all the shit that you’d pushed down for so long.

You wanted to have another chance, this time knowing how hard it would be to be without him.

Just as you pondered what to do with that realization, a knock at the door startled you. Who could have made it to the door without buzzing the intercom?

Somebody who has the gate code already, you realized, and your heart sank. You weren’t ready to see him again— specifically, you weren’t ready to be seen by him again. Sure, cleaning up the trash and splashing your face was enough for a guest like Sam, but you had been imagining that when you saw Bucky again you’d be all dolled up looking like you were doing better than ever, like you were thriving without him just to rub it in that you were the best he ever had.

Couldn’t he have just waited a few hours after your realization so you could go to him on your own terms, with your whole speech prepared and everything? As an actress, you were much more comfortable reading lines than improvising.

Another knock made you sigh and set down the half-empty bottle of green juice, running up to the door to answer it.

“Hi,” he greeted soberly when you opened the door.

“Hey,” you nodded back, “listen, now’s not a great time…”

“Listen, I’m not here to cause any problems, or ask you for anything, I just need some of my stuff back,” he explained.

“Okay, it would’ve been better if you had come at another time—”

“I know, I’m not trying to invade your space,” he sighed. “I shouldn’t have used the gate code, I didn’t mean to surprise you, honestly it was just second nature but I realize now I should’ve called first— well, I don’t think you’re taking my calls right now—”

“Bucky, please, we can talk later,” you assured, trying to shut the door.

“Can we?” he sighed. “I mean, will we?”

“Yes, but I’m busy right now,” you explained.

“When?” he asked, voice full of hope. “Soon?”

“I— I don’t know, sure,” you shrugged.

“You’re just saying that to get me to leave,” he realized flatly. “I understand, I don’t blame you— god, I just hate how scared you are of me. I’m everything I never wanted to be. I just wanted to keep you safe and now I can’t even do that, now you think of me as a threat. You should have the gate code changed, if it’ll make you sleep better—”

“I sleep fine, just go and we’ll deal with all of this soon— really, I promise!”

“You promised before and this week without you has been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do!” he returned, getting more emotional as he gestured with his hands. “I’m not saying this should all go away in a week, there’s so much more I have to do, but… but not being able to see you at all is killing me. And it’s not like I don’t see you, your movies are on every fucking channel, but you know, I don’t get to really see you, talk to you— that’s what I miss, I miss when we would talk for hours.”

“I miss that too,” you agreed, “it’s all going to happen, it’s just that I need you to go right now—”

And of course, Sam picked just the right time to come running down your staircase with only a towel around his waist.

Bucky tensed up as he saw Sam, jaw tightening. "Oh."

You had no idea what would happen. Was Bucky going to attack him again? Would Sam try to hit Bucky? Were you going to drop dead from sheer embarrassment?

Instead, Bucky just sighed a little and looked to the ground, almost laughing though he seemed anything but amused. “You’ve got a funny idea of what ‘being alone’ means,” he sneered.

“Sam was just—” you began to defend.

"No, it’s okay, I see how it is," Bucky informed you quietly, coldly. He didn’t even seem angry anymore, just defeated. "I'll leave. I'm sorry that I… I'm sorry."

And he turned to leave, you reached out and grabbed his arm. "Wait, it's not—"

He shrugged your hand away as he kept walking, forcing you to chase him.

"Don't leave, please— Bucky, I love you too."

He stopped, but didn't turn around yet; you just stood behind him, staring at his back as it rose and fell with a slow breath. When he looked back at you, his eyes were red, brimming with tears and heartbreak. "Don't say things you don't mean."

"I mean it," you promised.

“And what does that mean for us?”

“I… I don’t know,” you admitted.

“I don’t think I’m ready to come back yet. As much as I miss living with you— and as much as my apartment is so gross—”

You giggled a little, glad you could laugh with him again even if just for a second.

“I need more time. I’m not going to subject you to me until I know I can be… stable, again.”

“Okay,” you smiled. “Whatever you need.”

“But maybe we could… go out sometime? Somewhere where there aren’t paparazzi, ideally?”

“Uh, Vermont?” you offered jokingly. “I’ll find somewhere, though. We’ll talk this all out.”

He nodded slowly, swallowing a little. “Okay.”

With obvious hesitance, he leaned in slightly and gave you a kiss on the forehead. You wanted more than anything to get up on your tiptoes and kiss his lips, but it was probably too soon. He smiled down at you slightly before he turned to walk away, and you did the same as you made it back into the house.

“Hey, listen,” you began as you found Sam still waiting in a towel looking completely lost.

“That doesn’t sound like the beginning of good news,” he sighed.

“I’m so glad you were honest with me and I’m still really sorry for spitting on you, and for Bucky shoving you, and for everything awful that went down between us. And some part of me is always gonna love you, but—”

“I know,” he nodded, clearly disappointed but resigned in a peaceful way. “It’s okay. I had my chance, I blew it, and if this Bucky guy has his then I just hope he isn’t taking it for granted.”

You smiled a little. “He’s not.”

“Then I’ll get dressed and go. Please direct me to his favorite shirt, so that I may steal it,” he requested formally, making you laugh, but you weren’t ready to let it go just yet; instead, you stepped forward and pulled him into a hug.

“You’re a good friend, Sam,” you mumbled against his bare chest.

“Yeah, kinda wish I wasn’t though,” he sighed as he hugged you back.

“Kinda wish I’d made you get dressed before hugging you,” you admitted, the awkwardness of his nudity finally catching up with you.

“Yeah…” he agreed in a whispered sigh.

//

His palms were actually sweaty; well, at least one of them was. He hadn’t been this worked up about a date since high school.

But there was so much more riding on that now than there was then. If he blew this, you probably would dump him for good, and he’d become ‘that guy Y/N Y/L/N dated for a minute’ to the rest of the world.

And there was so much more to him than that— he was learning to really let that shine after three weeks of therapy on Mondays and Thursdays— and so much more to his relationship with you, but it would still be pretty humiliating. More importantly, he would be heartbroken if he never got a chance to hold you again, kiss you again, tell you he loved you not during a fight…

His eyes glanced to the door instinctively when someone stepped in, but it still wasn’t you. He checked his watch and closed his eyes: it was still a few minutes early, you probably wouldn’t be here until 6:30, since that was when you’d agreed to meet when you discussed all this over text. But the length of time between 6:27 and 6:30 just seemed to keep getting longer and longer.

When you finally walked in, it was like one of those movie moments where everything slowed down, the ambient noise and background music faded away, and all he could see was you. If this was it, at least he got to see you like this one last time.

He waved you over, watching you walk closer and feeling his heart race as you pulled him into a hug.

“I missed you,” he blurted out right away.

“Missed you too,” you mumbled back, pulling from the embrace as he moved to pull out your chair for you.

“So,” he began as he sat down, “do you… want me to go first? Or do you want to go first?”

“I love you,” you said instantly, and he couldn’t fight a wide smile.

“I love you too,” he whispered back.

“Now that that’s out of the way,” you grinned, “I think you should go first.”

“Well, now that you say that suddenly I forget everything I’ve been practicing in the mirror all day,” he chuckled. “I already told you I’ve been in therapy, and they finally got me on stuff for my PTSD… it feels weird to say it, to talk about it like I really have it… but I do, and I’m working on not being ashamed of that. What I am ashamed of is the way I treated you that day, how I let my anger get the best of me and how I hurt you when you’re the most important person in my life. You didn’t deserve that. And if I haven’t said it enough, I’m truly sorry.”

“I know,” you nodded, “thank you. I’m glad you’re getting help… I don’t want to see you like that for your own sake, too.”

“Just because you don’t hate me doesn’t mean you have to forgive me. And just because you forgive me doesn’t mean you have to take me back,” he reminded you softly.

“But I do forgive you, and I do want you back,” you promised. “And I want to apologize, too, for the things I did wrong… obviously it’s basically impossible for me to hurt you physically, you’re so much stronger than I am, but I hurt you with how I handled some things and I regret that.”

“It did hurt, but I still reacted poorly at basically every turn. I shouldn’t have gotten jealous of Sam in the first place, if you and him have something going on then that’s none of my business—”

“Of course it’s your business, Bucky, you’re my boyfriend!” you laughed. “You don’t need to be jumping for joy when I talk to my ex, you just need to not be that aggressive about it.”

“Am I your boyfriend?” he asked sheepishly. “Is he your ex?”

"When you came over the other day, and he was there… nothing happened, really. He came over, I told him I didn't want to be anything more than friends, he asked to use my shower… I don't know how to prove it to you—"

"You don't have to," he shook his head. "If you say nothing happened, then nothing happened."

“I mean, we hugged,” you remembered. “And he took your Fleetwood Mac shirt.”

“He what?” Bucky yelped, but then calmed himself down immediately. “Whatever, it’s fine, the point is that I have a lot of shit I still need to work on. Because the truth is, you’re not mine—”

“No, I—”

“Really, you’re not. You’re your own person. That’s what made me fall in love with you in the first place, I love that you’re independent and strong and… maybe a little crazy, but you’re exactly who you need to be. You don’t belong to me.”

“I don’t mind belonging to you as long as it’s fair, Bucky; as long as we belong to each other.”

“Sweetheart, you always had me,” he laughed. “From day one.”

“Then let’s figure your shit out. Believe it or not, I’ve got shit too… commitment issues, abandonment issues, daddy issues—”

“Ooh, I have that one too!” he beamed, making you laugh. “You know, when I was talking to my therapist, she had me do this thing where I talked about my hopes and stuff and, I don’t know, maybe it’s dumb but I wanted us to do that. I want to know what you’re hoping for for this.”

“Okay,” you nodded, “well, I’m hoping that you’ll move back in soon but not right away, maybe in a few months? I want us to get better at being apart, it’ll come in handy when I have to go to far off places for filming and stuff.”

“Totally with you,” he agreed, “might have to start buying some real furniture for my place though.”

“What about you?” you prompted.

“I’m hoping that you still think I'm cute enough to put up with some of my crap," he smirked, "if not all of it."

"Definitely," you grinned.

“I’m hoping that in the future, if you’re upset, you’ll tell me and we can work it out, and then have make-up sex," he added.

“Deal,” you chuckled.

“And, if I’m being honest,” he continued, leaning in closer and lowering his voice, “I’m hoping that I can take you home tonight.”

It was so simple, but it made a shiver run down your spine. This distance had caused more than just your heart to grow fonder, and you were craving his touch more than ever. “Where’s home?” you asked coyly.

“It’s wherever you wanna go,” he purred. “Your place, my place, the back of your car—”

“That one,” you nodded eagerly, “definitely that one.”

//

You wanted to go right then and there but he made you sit through the whole dinner, with all the trappings of wining and dining, though for you it sometimes felt more like whining and dying because you needed him so bad you couldn't think. But he stayed patient, keeping up the conversation, asking more about a new project you were tentatively linked with, telling you more about the newest improvements to his prosthetic.

He picked up the check, which was absurd to you but he insisted, and escorted you to your car as if his intentions were just gentlemanliness even though you knew it was far worse than that.

He (gently) pinned you up against the side of the car, kissing you slowly, making you melt like it was no effort for him at all. As his lips made their way to your ear, he whispered to you darkly, "get in the back and spread your legs for me."

You were sure you'd never obeyed an instruction so fast, hopping in and happily watching him climb in behind you. He instantly knelt down between your spread legs, holding you by your thighs as he pushed your dress up, and you were already lifting your hips up to let him pull your panties down to your ankles.

"So eager," he whispered happily, kissing his way up one of your legs and never breaking his gaze away from yours. Your mouth fell slack as you watched him get higher and higher, closer to where you were already dripping with need. "Been wanting to do this since that night, however many months ago, where I had to watch somebody else do this to you," he admitted with a grin that nipped at your inner thighs. "I know I've tasted you a thousand times since then, but I wanted to do it here."

There was a lot you could say to that, but it was all lost to a gasp as he licked one long, thin stripe right across your entrance and over your clit. Already you were shaking and grabbing his hair— he'd grown it out just enough that you could really dig your fingers into it, but even so he kept his teasing pace.

He kept going, that slow and torturous cycle where just as your clit got some much-needed attention, he started back over at your leaking opening again.

"The fuck are you doing down there, trying to figure how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop?" you finally groaned, making him chuckle at how demanding you'd become.

"I'm just making sure I do this right," he dismissed. "Want more, baby?"

"Please," you shuddered. "Need your tongue inside me."

He grinned and put you out of your misery, really latching his lips onto you now as he pushed his tongue inside and curled it against your g-spot. It was enough to make your back arch dramatically and your fingers clench on his hair, a little growl echoing out of his mouth and into your body in response.

Your legs were accidentally clamping down on his head each time he sucked on your clit, but he didn't seem to mind, if anything it egged him on.

"C-close, so close," you chanted our warning as his hands tightened on your thighs he gave wide laps to your throbbing button.

"Say you love me baby," he mumbled his demand against your skin.

"Bucky, yes, I love you," you whimpered. "Love you so much, fuck, I'm gonna come…"

He nodded as he wrapped his lips around your clit and kept sucking, harder than ever, until your whole body was literally quaking and you weren't sure if you had closed your eyes or if your vision just went black for a second. As if that weren't enough, he kept going until you had to push him off of you by his forehead, shivering and catching your breath as aftershocks rocked your body.

"You're so amazing," he groaned huskily as he sat up and pulled you into a rough kiss, the taste of your pleasure coating your tongue as it tangled with his. Just as you were about to reach down and attempt to operate his belt buckle with your tingling fingers, he pulled back from the kiss a moment too soon. "And now you get to drive yourself home," he grinned, patting you on the cheek reassuringly.

"What? That's it?!" you squawked.

"You just came so hard you nearly blacked out and you're asking me if that's it?" he smirked incredulously.

"I just thought you would want to, you know… go all the way," you explained, cringing at the immature phrase.

"Hey, I'm a gentleman, and this is still our first date," he reminded you.

"But aren't you, you know…?"

"Oh, I am," he nodded quickly, leaning in to bite at your neck. "Don't worry about me, princess, I can take care of myself." He chuckled at your whimper and pulled back to look right into your eyes. "But it's not about me, is it? You want my cock all for yourself, don't you?"

You nodded, making him giggle sweetly.

"Well, you're just gonna have to wait," he cooed, poking the tip of your nose with his finger and laughing harder at your needy whine. "We'll go out again next weekend and maybe if it goes well, it'll lead to something more, alright?"

"Okay," you sighed, "I can wait a week. I think."

He smiled and kissed you again, helping you pull your panties back up and rubbing your thigh appreciatively. "Goodnight," he whispered against your lips, slipping out of the car and shutting the door behind him.

You sighed and let your head fall back against the seat, watching out the window as he walked back to his bike. You hated to see him go, but you did love watching him walk away.

//

two years later…

“Will the Six Million Dollar Man be joining us?” Sam asked with a smirk as he glanced to the door of the bowling alley, checking to see if anyone had walked in.

“When he gets off of work,” you promised.

“Why do you call him that?” Natasha asked Sam innocently.

“You’ll see,” Sam promised, kissing his girlfriend on the cheek, but you figured there was a pretty good chance she wouldn't get the reference anyway.

Right on cue, Bucky appeared in the doorway and you and Sam waved him to the correct lane. “Hey guys,” he greeted, “hey babe,” he pulled you into a quick kiss. “And happy birthday, Sam.”

“Shh, keep it down, we don’t want any Hollywood people to find out that I’m aging,” Sam joked. “Are you gonna join the game or just observe?”

“I’ll join, if it’s not too late,” Bucky decided.

“Since when do you bowl?” you asked him, raising an eyebrow.

“Since I got the prosthetic recalibrated to throw the perfect strike every time,” he winked.

Beers and turns went pretty quickly after that, light conversation interspersed in between, until the more raucous parts of the evening died down and you left Bucky for a moment to join Sam at the bar.

Sam nodded to acknowledge you as you leaned beside him, and you ordered yourself one more drink before you called it a night.

“So, Natasha,” you started the conversation, watching the way Sam couldn’t hide his smile. “She’s great.”

“Yeah, she’s really something,” he agreed. “I wanted you guys to meet her sooner, but you were gone filming for so long and all.”

“Don’t fuck this one up, Sam,” you threatened.

“I’m trying not to!” he defended, before looking around like he was trying to make sure no one was looking. As you furrowed your brow and wondered what he was up to, he pulled out his phone from his jacket pocket and showed you a picture: a ring, with a massive diamond and accents of citrine.

“Holy shit…” you sighed, pulling the phone closer to get a better look.

“Had it custom made, I’m gonna pick it up tomorrow,” he explained, putting the phone away. “I don’t even know how I’m gonna ask her yet… I just know I need to snag this one before she slips through my fingers.”

“You’re really like a whole new man,” you realized aloud.

“I’m telling you, this girl… she really changed everything for me,” he sighed wistfully, and you nodded because you knew what that was like.

“I knew you just needed a good woman to straighten you out, Wilson,” you joked, patting him on the shoulder, “my only mistake was ever thinking it was me.”

“If it makes you feel any better, I thought it was you, too,” he smiled softly. “I really loved you, even when I was stepping out on you… and I think I needed to love you, and to lose you, to be here now.   So, thank you.”

“Uh, you’re welcome, I guess,” you laughed a little, taking a slow sip of your drink.

“And if she says yes, I’m gonna need all the marriage advice you have to offer,” he bargained.

“I mean, we’ve only been married for a month,” you chuckled, “I don’t think we’re far enough into it to really provide significant guidance.”

“And you’ve already gone through so much together.  Is he doing alright?  You know, his nightmares and stuff…”

You glanced over and where Bucky and Natasha were chatting, admiring how at ease he looked; he usually had a harder time with new people.  “Yeah, it’s been a lot better, he’s on new meds… how did you know about that?”

“He talks to me sometimes,” Sam admitted.  “And as someone who has played a PTSD-striken veteran in not one, but two major motion pictures, I’m sort of an expert,” he winked, but then got serious again.  “I would’ve asked him how he was doing myself but he wouldn’t let me ask him personal stuff on my birthday.”

“I bet he’d let you ask him for his opinion on the ring you just showed me.”

“Um, why would I want his opinion when he bought you that?” he grimaced, pointing at the ring on your finger.  “I mean, sapphires?  Really?”

“Cut it out,” you laughed, shoving him on the shoulder.

“Okay, fine,” he relented. 

“Are you coming to my premiere tomorrow, by the way?” you asked.  “I have it on good authority you were invited, since I demanded it.”

“Yeah, I’ll be there,” he nodded, “Nat really wants to go, too.  She’s a big fan of your work.”

“Well, tell her she was great in that one about the missing girl,” you replied.  

“I’ll be sure to tell her exactly that.”

“We should head home, you know how early premiere prep starts,” you sighed with an exhausted roll of your eyes, finishing the last of your drink before grabbing Sam on the shoulder.  “Good luck with however you decide to pop the question with Nat.  Let me know if you need anything.”

He nodded and let you go, and once you got Bucky’s attention and said goodbye to Nat, the two of you made your way out back to the car.

“I’m glad you and Sam get along,” you reminded him as you squeezed his hand.

“What gives you that impression?” he scoffed.

You shook your head and smiled, letting him walk you to the car in silence.

Less than 24 hours later, you held his hand in just the same way as you sat beside each other in the screening auditorium, watching your latest film fade to black and hearing the crowd at the premiere— mostly cast, crew, and critics— erupt into applause.

"I have a little surprise for you," you whispered in his ear as the credits began to flash.

"I am not gonna let you blow me in this crowded theater," he instantly scolded.

"No, not that," you giggled, although you secretly wondered how much less crowded the theater would have to be for him to let you try it.  "Just wait until my name comes up."

Written and Directed by Hope Van Dyne

A Paramount Pictures Film

In Association with Europa

And then there it was, in big white letters, just as much of a trip to see as the first time you saw your name on the big screen.  But something very important had changed.

Y/N Y/L/N-Barnes

Everyone at the screening was clapping and cheering, but you were so focused on him that his whisper was the only thing you heard.  "Sweetheart," he gasped, and you smiled wide.  "You didn't have to—"

"I wanted to."

"It's just a stage name, if you want to keep it the same—"

"Buck, really.  I want your name there with mine."

"But your credits…" he protested, though the break in his voice made it clear he was tearing up.  "You're an actress and you've established your career already and it's so important to you—"

"Hey," you soothed, reaching up to brush your hand over his cheek, forcing him to look at you.  "Your wife is the most important thing I've ever been."

[serenawitchwriter]

BNHA Fusion (LOV/Deku)

shigideku

oh boy

both have been deeply wronged by society

unstable but also instantly aware that they’re more compatible than either is comfortable with

insane, muttering, constantly arguing with them-self

black curls that’s longer the deku’s hair normally is. scarred so badly. but decent skin. eye bags, big green eyes. Mikumo vibes

twitchy hands, will scratch anywhere, plays with lip, constantly writing. hands are never still

wears one fingered gloved so he doesn’t decay everything constantly

a genius, master of planning and deconstruction. take the moral limiters of izuku and he could end any hero quirkless

has a level of morality but it’s hard to define. totally down for crime most of the time, loves fighting, but doesn’t target kids or civilians. has a lot clearer motives than shigaraki did alone

they are gonna take down the government probably

daddy issues x2

laughs like a crazy person, wide scary smile

traumatized, ptsd, anxiety, dissociates, ocd. babe has a lot of mental illnesses

plays video games to calm down

loves homemade food

a loner

paranoid

quirk is just... oof. like a nuke going off basically. so fucking destructive, and you know they know how to use it

hates everyone including them-self

self aware of their situation. recognized that they’re being used and targeted and manipulated. on both ends. Shigi sees how he’s being used by afo, Izu sees how the adults in his life have failed him

honestly kinda baby, they need fucking love

hero students and lov members would put aside differences to help them honestly. the world wouldn’t be okay with it, but their friends are loyal

not quite a villain anymore, but definitely not a hero. constantly has internal conflict over this. like they don’t want to give up on hero dreams times 2 but also recognize how utterly fucked society is and wants to tear it down. they’re so full of hate, but want to maintain hope just out of spite at this point

whatever the hell they’re doing they’re not giving up on it

has the power to reshape society and is going to fucking use it

i don’t need to tell you that they’re fucking terrifying

togodeku

obsessive x2

love heroes x2

long curly green hair worn in twin pony tails,��

short, decent sized chest, big red eyes, and a smile that’s too big. fangs. freckles. 

muscular but in a compact way

more stable than they should be

loves themselves.

in love with uraraka, but gets crushes on everyone else extremely easily. ura is their forever girl though

loves making and consuming fan content. a fangirl to a scary degree

an all might stan

naturally, also loves k-pop

no fashion sense, they wish they had it, but they don’t. probably just wearing t-shirts and jeans most of the time. is still kinda hot, but isn’t doing anything to play it up

will hunt you for sport

incredibly fast, loves running and chasing in general

bunny themed outfit still

changing into others is one of their passions. izu lowkey loves this quirk. they’re experts at mimicking others. izuku’s analysis skills makes them too good at this

feral x2

honestly just here for the lols

still wants to be a hero, but isn’t doing a good job of it

easily distracted

probably knits for some reason?

makes gifts for friends and crushes

way more dangerous than they’re letting on. too many people are underestimating them

cute as a button

dabideku

daddy issue x2

bitter as hell

black and white hair, curly. darker at the roots. 

keeps dabi’s scars. green eyes. tall and muscular, lots of piercings. most of Izuku’s details are lost in the scaring

coffee addict

self centered, has a lot of enemies. including endeavor and bakugou, and every middle school bully.

more empathetic though, can have friends and value them, just don’t piss him off because he will hold lifelong grudges

very good at switching back and forth between scary and threatening to cute and innocent. usually the innocence is mocking but it can read as genuine

a good actor in general, but a terrible liar

quirk is not doing him any favors, still has the feedback, but flaming tentacles gives him more control over the fire itself

reads a lot of comic books

a hypocrite

likes to dramatically point at things while shouting

loves solving mysteries and kinda wants to go down a sherlock holmes or batman route

is not pulling that off, maybe jason todd vibes at best

high key just a dramatic dork that’s too good at murder

chaotic neutral to chaotic good

talks too much

good at pissing people off

kinda deserves to get the shit beaten out of him, and i feel like bakugou can pull it off

twicedeku

neurotic

they love their friends so much though

oblivious as hell

like a genius in observation and knowing stuff, but a dumbass at applying that knowledge

would make a good information broker if they could learn to shut the hell up

are they basically deadpool? kinda.

short green hair, cut close to their head

long face, covered in scars, tallish, looks like an adult

pouts and cries easily

smartass

talks to himself x2 god help us

overpowered with his quirk. god help us

laughs at his own jokes

always hungry

winks at the fourth wall

has many stims and hobbies, hands are litterally never not doing something. he’s the kind of person you’ll glance away from, turn back, and find juggling.

we’re talking cat’s craddle, rubix cubes, instruments, puzzles, tearing up candy wrappers, painting his nails, braiding friendship bracelets. he is never still

directionless. lacks motivation

internalizes criticism really easily, to the point that he gets depressed and struggles to act

indecisive to a clinical degree

probably has and anxiety disorder but refuses to acknowledge it

is pretty fucking baby. protect him

spindeku

lol what a nerd

fanboy x2

cries easily. izuku’s habit of crying does not decrease

ultimate ride or die

still a lizard, mohawk is green instead of pink

mixed feelings on stain

searching for the ultimate person to stan. all might stays in their heart, but they want to be edgier

absolutely uses a sword. not the dumb one that spinner uses but it is still a buster sword that’s too large for them. they’re strong enough to swing it around like nothing, i’m picturing cloud from final fantasy’s sword. again they’re really nerdy

disillusioned with society and heroes. both are marked by discrimination and have recognized the failure of heroes and government. aren’t as bitter but determined to do something

sassy but not quite sarcastic

gives really good advice. the friend you go to to have an emotional breakdown

considering pursuing psychology more for this reason. realizes he can use the skill to help a lot of people

isn’t willing to give up fighting or using his sword though. he has an aesthetic

would get along fantastically with tokoyami

also the friend that feeds you. can’t cook very well but always has something on him to give you when he notices you haven’t eaten in a long time.

loves bubble tea

social anxiety, if it weren’t for the fact that he already had friends and a mission, he probably wouldn’t leave the house

surprisingly close to shigaraki, enough of a gamer to play with him, and even gets away with calling him out

(i’m debating how comfortable i am with fusing kids with adults. it seems weird to me, especially the bigger the age difference)

(masterlist)

[daimonhalos]

Appreciation post for the eggpire and more during the red banquet cause I'm not seeing enough love for how well they organized and delivered and because I'm so proud of cc!Bad for how far the Bloodvines arc has gone ♥ (this stuff is from Bad's vod btw)

Also something to cheer people up a bit in case the lore got u hard like it got me cause I'm still not okay bestie <3

The starting soon screen being an animation (with glitches to show another frame!!) plus the jazzy electro-swing soundtrack underneath. Just such a good intro, I felt like I was actually in the waiting line for an event, just awesome.

Ponk. Just Ponk, dapper man, handsome Ponk just standing there. Gorgeous, thank you, standing ovation, I love him.

Just everything Bad and Ant did with the building of the room, the stairs!! The coat room!!! The statues right in front of the table, everything looked SO pretty.

ANT MY BELOVED LOOKING HANDSOME AS ALWAYS I just loved all their outfits. The banquet's skins just SLAPPED HARD.

The little moment where Bad changed view of his character and we could see him, Ant and Ponk cwc

Bad singing >>>>>>>>>>

Everyone getting lost despite the oak signs

THE ARC ABOVE THE DANCEFLOOR, WHAT THE HELL YOO

Bad complimenting everyone on their outfits and giving out some gapples here and there

Bad also always repeating the same catchphrases

Sam just drinking copiously and the dumpy situation

People actually dancing + HBomb being the dj

Puffy walking around Bad to see his outfit and complimenting him, just felt like their old friendship cwc

FOOLISH GAVE BAD A FLOWER <3

Bad scolding George for not wearing an outfit (Sam's "his name is Gogy and he is beautiful")

"It's almost time for the feast. It's gonna be delicious." the foreshadowing

Everyone dancing together cwc

"minecraft dancing is speed squats" eret ilu

Bad and Ant complimenting moment ♥

The eggpire all on the same side of the table. Them

Ponk's little "Hello!" after Bad said he made the soup, plus everyone going "good job!!" just twt

When Bad started asking if anyone wanted to give a toast, I realized eventually that this was more of a disguised "Want to say your last words before death?" and it now sounds s o freaking cool. ye s

P O N K 'S S P E E C H

"you look beautiful right now" sam i will cry

When in the middle of his speech, Bad turns to Ant who's already looking at him, nods, Ant nods back, and as Bad turns around again we can see Ant walking away from his seat. I am OBSESSED with this scene, like you already know something is about to go down and oh gosh it was delivered so good

THE LAVA COMING DOWN FROM THE CEILING AS BAD KEPT TALKING, NONE NOTICING, HIM TALKING ABOUT HOW THE BANQUET WILL BE UNFORGETTABLE. SO HOT

"And yeah! Thank you for coming everybody" the little mischievous giggles right after "And prepare uh ... yep. Prepare to die." AND THEN HE FUCKIGN DRINKS FROM HIS GLASS LIKE COME ON YOU CANT BE ANY COOLER THAN THAT YOOO

"The leaf is staying the way it is" you can hear the laughter in his voice like HAH GOTTEM that's so good

Bad still giving Hbomb gapples cwc

"Where you looking for this perchance?" AND THEN EQUIPS THE ENTIRE ARMOR AND WEAPONS E Y E when the twists started dude. this si where the twists started and never ended

HANNAH CROSSING SIDES AND SIDING WITH THE EGGPIRE. QUEEN SHIT that was such a cool moment for her i'm so glad she's getting her moment

The eggpire laughing, just pure villainy, love them

"Time to get on the main event" the nonchalance. The way they equipped the crossbows and readied the arrows at the same time. B r u h fucking awesome they are

The eggpire faking being afraid when Sam was talking about blowing the egg up. Sad that we already knew about the obsidian thing, but still made it a very cool scene. Especially right after when they started laughing at them again. I don't know what it is about it but I love them being so sassy.

FREAKING EXECUTIONS THEY WORKED FOR MASS EXECUTIONS they were able to trap all those freaking people!! And trick them and counter attack all the time! what the fuck, I'm so impressed

Thank you Fundy for sounding super terrified /gen ♥

Wait ahah they really said EGGSECUTION-

THE EGG HATCHES THE EGG HATCHES THE EGG HATCHES im not saying IT but im saing Velvet

"Follow me! Follow me!" HANNAH SOUNDED SO ENTHUSIASTIC i love

"We trusted you!" "Well, that was your first mistake-" THE WAY BAD WAS ABOUT TO LAUGH. DUDE they definitely had so much fucking fun making this

sassyboyhalo

Foolish acting thank u ily. Also the thunder not working what the heck i wanna know what was going on inside his mind right then he sounded so lost. THE ACTING

"Sacrifice!" Hannah idk how to say this but I love you

ANT MOMENTTTT

When puffy called them selfish i was expecting bad to just do a huge double take. I wanted him to snap immediately PLEASE SNAP-

BAD DELIVERING AGAIN WITH THE AMAZING ACTING

"Not just for the egg but for what the egg is going to give us" he's so desperately trying to make them udnerstand it promised him his friend back he literally mentions it every single time but everyone calls him selfish because they think he wants power when he just wants skeppy's friendship back in this essay I will- Anyway yes I love that he never explicitly says it because it kills us viewers with pain cause we KNOW and then the reveal will be 100 times more powerful. This is so awesome

"I can't stop Quackity and you know why I can't stop. If I stop I can't get what I need." his voice grew so much lower like he's just holding back MAN I HH IT WAS SO GOOD

SECRET RETREAT ROOM YOOO

Ponk giving Bad some food and telling him to stay safe, Bad telling both Hannah and Ponk to stay safe too. My tears

And now the solo Bad lore part, where we actually see the true part of him that's absolutely devastated and makes me cry, the way he acted all confident and then saw everything crumble in a few seconds and now he's destroyed again because what if they find a way to destroy the egg what then? what if he never gets skeppy back? dude, you can just read his emotions it's so sad and i love how it was portrayed

"I know where I can go. I know who I can see!" BDI REF BDI REF FOR SURE I have a feeling that's going to be explained in the next lore stream with Skeppy and I'm so hype. I love the little crumbs of references here and there.

"But now they have it.." he sounded so broken??? bad your acting please ill cry

"I didn't really want to hurt anybody" his true self trying to get back cwc especially because he's farther away from the egg. I just love the transition between the guy Bad portrays who's so sure about the egg when it's in front of others and the doubts and anxiety he actually has when he's alone. Just so cool

"Did I screw up?" im just pointing out everything that moves me emotionally cause these people's acting is so cool

Ending the stream with simple black background my beloved

Okay but really I'm so so so proud of the ccs for making this happen and it's only going upwards, I'm literally so in awe, they really said go big or go home

Free space for Ant's villain speech I wasn't able to hear yet, but they said it was v cool, so I'm trusting people on this

Thank you for listening, stan Bloodvines arc /hj

If I made typos no I didn't

[msookyspooky]

Random Headcanon's for the Scream Character's

Billy really was a normal sweet kid and a good boyfriend before his mom left. Everyone paints him as always being crazy and his mom just triggered him but I honestly don't think that's true. Sidney and her parents would not have been okay with her dating a bad boy from Sophomore year onward. Sure it happens and maybe she saw past it but If Sidney would have seen how Billy acted with Randy in the videostore; instant break up imo. He could not have hid that side of himself for two years straight. Remember, they were dating a whole year prior to Maureen cheating. My theory is he may or may not have had a 'side' to him or other undiagnosed disorder in his gene pool (Mrs Loomis snapping too.) but Billy's psychotic breakdown was mostly situational + groomed by Roman and there were other things in his life that probably were boiling over and Debbie leaving him completely broke him. So, he was in an extremely vulnerable state when Roman came around and molded him. THAT is why Sidney trusted him so much in Scream before the phone incident and even somewhat after. Because Billy was a good boyfriend before her mom's murder and she would have never suspected it. Now how her or no one else could see him tumbling into madness or at least deep depression before Roman sank his talons in is beyond me. Maybe she did and he shrugged her off? Either way, the situation made him shut down all empathy towards other people and changed him. His empathy is towards his mom, possibly his dad since Hank never died and that is it. He has symptoms of a psychopath and even though that is usually genetic I 100% think a psychotic breakdown could do it as well.(Don't come for me bitch I'm not trained in any of this just using what I know from research 🧍‍♀️) If his mom never left and Roman didn't come along; Billy would have never been a killer

Contrary to Billy's situational psychological crazyness. Stu was always going to kill. I don't even think it's is he a sociopath vs a psychopath argument as much as he is just disconnected from reality. (Though he would most likely be a Sociopath if he was bc of his lack of boundaries as well impulsive behavior. Thinking killing was a game.) Stu possibly suffered abuse as a child. He was terrified of his parents more than the law. Either A. They abused him and permanently terrified him. Or B. He really has a stunted mentality and thinks of killing as a game and fears his parents more than the law bc the consequences are just not clicking LIKE A KID. He's like a giant little kid with no sense of how things work. He still could have been abused and that is what stunted his growth mentally. However, his violent tendacies were always there. Never preplanned just urgent anger or sadistic glee he couldn't control. Billy just suggested the killings and he was instantly down. Like, hell yeah cool. Most ppl no matter what mental illness they have or how severe are not that easy to convince. Whose to say he hadn't killed before or was planning to? My theory is he is so disconnected from reality that killing really is a giant fun game to him and he would have eventually murdered someone even without Billy.

Idk why this isn't more thought of throughout the fandom. Billy and Stu did not rape Maureen bc the evidence would have pointed to someone other than the guy they were framing. Cotton Weary had sex with Maureen, left, Billy and Stu taunted her on the phone and lured her away, they killed her, police suspected rape bc A. they didn't know about the affairs. B. Cotton's semen or her discharge or bruising being there. They naturally assumed it was rape but in actuality no one raped her. Cotton's dna from their affair incriminated him even more. Not saying that Billy and Stu would think of rape as morally wrong enough not to do in their book BUT it would have been stupid on their part and made it obvious there were other suspects besides Cotton.

Stu isn't a lapdog. Stu literally revealed on the phone he was going to throw Billy under the bus. He hesitated giving him the knife. Stu is like a kid. He most likely suffered trauma that regressed his mental age. He's eager to please, desperate for attention and most likely fawns over people he feels close to in an obsessive way. He could have even been in love with Billy and vice versa which is why he was so eager to please him. However, he was not nearly as stupid or a lapdog as much as the fandom makes him out to be. I think Randy saying it in the videostore sealed the deal for people even though he was only acting like that bc he was helping Billy too and covering their tracks. Billy was the one with the plan. Stu just tagged along out of the urge to kill. But he 100% had his own plan to kill and bail if needed. My mind is made up on that.

There was a third killer in Scream and it wasn't a teen or Roman. You're telling me two 17-18 yr old guys could come up with every detail? Roman only told Billy the basics. How did they get tactical police shoes? How did they get to the houses so fast and leave just as quickly? How did they both take down and restrain Steve or Neil by themselves enough to tie them up? Sure, Stu was deranged and tall but these two lanky teens were able to take on a football player with muscles and a grown man? Possible but stil meh to me. Their plan was too thorough for two teen boys to come up with on their own. Both crazy. One completely unhinged and disconnected from reality and the other so blinded by revenge he was stupid at times. (Fucking stabbing yourselves before killing Neil and Sidney. Not even thinking to AT LEAST tie Sidney up as well...Really? Jill was smarter in 4 in that respect tbh.) I truly think their was an adult involved in Scream helping them or guiding them. I would say Roman if it wasn't for him going back to Hollywood. But Billy and Stu had help DURING the killings 100%.

Randy is not this mecha survival final boy like the fandom thinks. The kid watched one too many horror movies and based them on real life. Scream itself is making fun of slasher movies and Randy was supposed to be the narrator setting most of the dumb rules up into play. Everyone is like "omg that's so out of character how he died in 2" no its not. If the rules work then him losing his virginity did him in. He was drinking, he was pissed off and not thinking. Plus Mrs. Loomis attacked in broad daylight, something no one thought of. (And the whole debate how a middle aged woman could pull him in. LOOK. Randy is a fucking small guy and she grabbed him backwards, using momentum to haul him back into the van. PLUS she was enraged at what he said about Billy. Adrenaline is a hell of a super drug as far as testing the bodies limits. I have seen tiny girls become the hulk when they are pissed I'm jus sayin) Point is, Randy was just a teen boy that loved horror movies. He was not some survival guide especially since it showed him even on the couch not aware of Ghostface behind him. He was a giant satire showing how even he didn't always follow the rules of slasher movies and how dumb the rules are.

Tatum loved Sidney and had more chemistry with her than Billy. I am not saying they weren't just BFF's and I don't want to ruin female friendship with constantly thinking "omg they are gay together" any time two women are close. BUT it is strange that it was only those two as friends especially since Sidney didn't fit into Tatum's popular social circle. It's like Tatum went out of her way to be friends with Sidney. Maybe they were childhood friends and that's why? But I think it's entirely possible that just like it's speculated that Stu and Billy were secretly in love; Tatum possibly was at least bi and in love with Sidney.

[roonilwazlibimagines]

What are some of your scenarios to fall asleep to? 👀

Ahhhh I’m glad you asked !! Also please feel free to share some of yours they can be specific or vague idc I’m in desperate need

I will be going into heavy detail because I can’t help myself I’m sorry and I will put in both normal ones and Harry Potter ones

Also this is just like one big ramble I’m sorry I got too excited I literally turned into that Tik tok sound where it’s like ‘you’re asking me about my theories? I’ve waited years for someone to ask me about my theories’

Update - I think I’m just going to keep updating this as well when I think of new ones because I keep forgetting some

My most recent one is a royalty one where they’re like royalty but in their really prestigious and royal school they were academic rivals and did not get along and after school they like try to go their separate ways until a couple years later their parents force them into an arranged marriage for like the good of the country or whatever I don’t really care!! You can take it wherever you want from there but in case you were interested in mine he fell for her first and kinda gave up on the enemies thing pretty early on but she still made it clear he wasn’t her favourite person and she despised the situation and there is still constant teasing until she meets his sister or friend or whoever who says that they can’t believe how happy he is with them and she feels so bad because she thinks he deserves better and ends up being much meaner to him because she’s an idiot who can’t express her emotions and he gets angry at her because she’s being super mean after they were just starting to get along and they have a big argument and are forced to talk about their feelings and then I can never decide whether they actually like each other when they get married, I feel like either way is fun

I have a thing for royalty so my other one is literally just princess x stable boy and you can honestly take that wherever you want but I will tell you where I took it for some ✨inspiration✨ so I don’t have my drivers license and get really bad driving anxiety so I self projected and made her terrified of riding horses right (I’m so smart I know) and he is like trying to help her ride the horse and feel comfortable and like obviously they end up in love but I created drama because she sneaks out to his birthday party (!!) but his friends don’t like her because they just think she’ll be a snob but he obviously defends her but like it’s a perfect opportunity for a bit of an innocent princess as well

My personal favourite is the two co stars falling in love and like thinking about doing all those stupid interviews from like buzzfeed and all that and I personally love the trying foods from different places thing (like making them try fairy bread - because I’m from Australia and we aren’t that cultured and being mad when they don’t like it because it is my favourite food) and it’s great because i can make the guy any actor I am currently obsessed with 😭 but also like the red carpet opportunities and interviews and fan reactions and it’s very fun also this keeps my brain very busy because I like making it as realistic as possible and figuring out the actors timeline so I can match the story up with it, it’s always really intense, also if you want inspiration for what moving they’re staring in I always go for the live action version of tangled even if I don’t look anything like rapunzel

Another fun one is where one of them is in a band and you have a friend who is dating one of the other members but you don’t like the band and you’re not shy in letting the other members know that and it turns into an enemies to lovers thing but I haven’t really developed it because halfway through I ended up changing it with the fact that they befriend one of the members and like fall for them but the band member like ‘gets around’ and it makes them jealous until they drunkingly confess it made them jealous this one’s a bit of a mess and is tipping into a 2012 wattpad story but it was how I got back into my 5sos phase two years ago because I felt icky about them but I’m still a slut for Calum 😭

Another one I love is moving abroad to study or whatever (idk I just always need a reason to be in America/Uk because there’s no one here in australia) and you make friends with someone who turns out to be related to someone really famous (insert whoever you want) and you meet them and you think they’re the hottest person you’ve ever seen and you get drunk to gain confidence to talk to them and you’re like unashamedly flirting with them and they think it’s cute and you’re funny but the whole little plot twist is that you don’t know they’re famous (famous people love that, trust me, I have about 10 wattpad stories in my library that can prove this) !! And the don’t believe you don’t know they’re famous !! Anyways I took it in a sugar daddy direction but each to their own!

Specifically for Harry Potter though, you ask?

Currently I am obsessed with Regulus Black and for about the past two weeks I’ve been obsessed with the idea of James potter sibling x regulus black enemies to lovers story and then about a week ago I found an actually good wattpad story about it?!?! (I have recommended it here with warnings but I really encourage you to read it if you’re not a minor) but you can also do your own version because I am still doing my own version and will continue to do my own version tonight even if I am obsessed with the wattpad one !! Currently I am up to post Hogwarts and her and regulus are trying to defeat Voldemort and regulus tells her that Peter is going to betray James and so ofc she tells James but James is like ‘how to do you even know this??’ And he is so afraid and gets angry at her and it’s really dramatic and she tells him she’s dating regulus and then he gets super mad at her because she’s dating like one of the most well known and loyal death eaters (even if regulus is sneakily trying to destroy Voldemort) and because he didn’t tell her and it’s very dramatic

My favourite Sirius black idea is also a James potters sibling one, but I never have any good ideas for it and just end up self projecting so if anyone has any ideas, I am begging you, please tell me !!!

My other Sirius black one is one I’ve been working on for like the last 4 years of my life and I probably should write it but who knows, but basically it’s a 10 things I hate about you x Harry Potter story where reader is about a year or so older than the marauders and she is like Kat Stratford (for people who haven’t watched it the best way to describe her is just an angry early 2000s feminist who is like anti dating and fun (kinda)) but she is Lily Evans sister!! And so Lily gets fed up of James constantly asking her out and makes an offhand comment that she’ll date him when her sister goes on a date with someone and James is like really?!? And Lily is like ‘sure’ because she knows her sister will never date anyone at Hogwarts so James tells the marauders and Remus is like ‘if anyone can take her on a date, it’s Sirius’ and Sirius is like ‘no, I’m stupid but not that stupid’ and James is like ‘please I’ll pay you’ and Sirius is easily bribed so he tries to get her to go on a date with him and like she doesn’t until she does and then finds out he only did it because James paid him but then they fall in love? Basically just 10 things I hate about you lol

My next one is with Draco Malfoy and all it is is that reader comes from a pure blood family and they’ve known each other since they were babies and it’s like basically destined they get married but she gets like really upset when he gets the mark which makes for a good cuddling and crying scene and like idk people are probably more creative than me but I just like reimagining scenes from hp but with this new character so like Poa when she gets angry at him about buckbeak or the bathroom scene (maybe she duels Harry?) and she’s so upset about Draco and comforts him, or helping him in sixth year and comforting him or the quidditch scene in the fifth book (weird note, but I’ve always headcannoned that my original character finds out about dumbledores army but doesn’t say anything and like the da knows she knows but she doesn’t tell Draco or maybe Draco finds out and gets angry at her?)

My other one is another Draco malfoy one where James and Lily live and she’s Harry’s younger sister (and Voldemort isn’t a thing) but like there’s still stereotypes and beliefs and such and like it’s obviously enemies to lovers and maybe they get prefect duties together ? (I am a sucker for this trope in Harry Potter) but then when they do date they try to hide it but Harry finds out but doesn’t say anything until they get into a fight at home and he is like ‘well at least I’m not fucking Draco malfoy behind everyone’s back) (in my head they aren’t fucking because they’re still in Hogwarts but you get the idea) and James and Lily are just like ‘WHAT?!’ Like idk I just think it’s funny imagining James and Lily finding out their kid is dating Draco and Lucius and narcissus finding out Draco is dating a potter - so many possibilities!

Update 6.10.21

I also have one for Charlie Weasley !! And basically you’re friends with the twins and like you go your whole Hogwarts life with the biggest crush on Charlie but like he low key doesn’t even know who you are and you want to become a healer and then after Hogwarts there is a position in Romania and you take it because you know Charlie’s there and at first he is like hmmm I think I know you and you explain you’re friends with the twins and obviously he falls in love with you I also took it in a nsfw direction where it’s like major innocence kink because Charlie is just such a dom to me and he like teaches you everything but he makes sure you’re happy and safe and it’s not really like serious sex you’re both just having fun and he kinda introduces you to dom/sub dynamics but you can do whatever is most comfortable

[zv5x]

HHH i’m imagining spirit angst like “i love you so” “please let me go” cause s/o didn’t expect him to stay that long and spirit is WAYYY too attached.

Spirit angst!!! I went slightly yan with this, hope u don't mind anon! Remember to take care of yourself today and remember my inbox is always open!

(I feel like this came out so bad and I'm so sorry ughh)

( :̲̅:̲̅:̲̅[̲̅:♡:]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅)

"(Y-Y/N)..."

His voice pearced your ears, but still you didn't budge. In fact, you weren't even facing him. You couldn't. Not after how he's been acting towards you, towards everyone.

"It's okay to love me...." His voice quivered, bordering on weak whimpers fuled by quickly forming tears. Spirit tried reaching out to you, but you didn't do a single thing other than immediately tense your body. It hurt. It truly did. Seeing you in any way scared of him tore his heart to pieces. "Please love me."

You shook your head. You loved him, but not in the way that he wanted you to love him. He wanted you to belong to him, he wanted to belong to you. All you wanted to do was free a trapped soul and call it a day. You just wanted to help him, you didn't want the lifelong commitment that he was expecting to come with it.

"No, Spirit. You need to let me go."

You said flatly, taking a deep breath in as you heard him choke back a sob. You didn't want to be this direct and cold with him, but it seemed that with everything else he heard from you, he found some way to twist it to where it fit his own views about the situation. You couldn't handle it, not now and not ever.

"But why?!" He stomped in annoyance, grabbing your hand and looking into your eyes as you snapped your head in his direction. "We were supposed to be together forever! You promised you'd help me, (Y/N), and you're all the help I could ever need..." You looked at him with slight distain, and he sniffled pathetically. It's strange, a demon would be the last entity you'd expect to show this level of emotion, and yet here you are watching this trainwreck.

"I did my part. You're free. And now I'm telling you you're free to go. I've given you all I said I'd give you, you need to let us move on." You parted your lips. "Please, Spirit."

For a second, there was silence. You stared at the silent demon for a minute before looking back to the side. Maybe he finally got it. Maybe he'd finally leave you alone.

"But we-"

You stopped him immediately.

"There is no 'we', Spirit. There's me and you, but there isn't a we. There's nothing left for you here. I can't love you as much as you love me."

Spirit let go of your hand, letting it stop to the bedsheet you sat on before watching you place it nonchalantly in your lap. Slowly, he moved his arms up to his face to dry his tears. You wondered what was taking him so long to leave, you told him he was completely free from not only the Hating Simulator but also your house.

"(Y/N)...?"

Spirit asked your name, drawing out the last syllable ever so slightly. You did nothing but hum in response.

"Why are you humans so selfish?" He asked, a slight amount of disgustingly innocent undertones in his voice. You sat stunned for a minute, before laughing slightly. What else could you do? That was by far the stupidest thing he's ever said, on top of it being offensively untrue.

"Oh so humans are the selfish ones, now?" You got up from your seat, almost matching Spirit in height at this point. "Says the guy who won't leave my fucking house!" You almost yelled, silently agreeing with yourself that this was the moment you lose your cool. You were getting sick and tired of Spirit's drawn out mind games, and you'll be damned if you'll let his own delusions excuse insulting an entire species.

"This is what I'm talking about, (Y/N). Humans are selfish. You're not worried about our love, or what we've been through. You're just worried about your house." Spirit criticized, staying shockingly calm. Not nearly as calm as you however.

"How many times do I have to tell you, Spirit? I don't love you! I never asked you to grow this creepy obsession with me, you did that all on your own, man!"

Spirit sighed, before clicking his tongue in the roof of his mouth. "Why did you change, (Y/N)? You said you'd be there for me....is there someone in our wa-"

Refusing to let Spirit ramble on about this deluded bullshit for any longer, you raised your palm up and roughly struck it across his cheek as hard as you possibly could. He stumbled back slightly, holding his cheek and looking at you with a shocked but slightly angered expression.

Taking a deep breath, Spirit took a minute to regain his composure. When he did, he locked eyes with you, who was now realizing exactly what you've just done. Bitch slapping him, while most definitely satisfying, would only really work well if you were planning on sprinting to a church right afterwards. Since you decided to stand there, you were forced to watch helplessly as you tried to figure out what insane response Spirit would have to the assault upon his form.

"I'm sorry for whatever I let slip by me that turned you against me, (Y/N). I truly am. But I will not and cannot sit here and allow myself to be treated as less than I am."

"Then fucking leave, Spirit."

Spirit let out a soft laugh of pity, shaking his head once more.

"No, that would involve leaving you. Leaving us. And we've both already established that's not on the table. Now, about that little stunt..."

You looked down, and widened your eyes as you saw Spirit physically prepare for something. You didn't know what, but the possibilities terrified you.

He smiled at you lovingly, and with great empathy.

"This'll hurt me far more than it hurts you, darling. Please, hold still for me."

In a split second, you felt your entire body go numb, to the point where not a single muscle could be moved. However, your brain could still function perfectly, and panic ensued.

Spirit giggled sadistically as he watched the panic show up in your pretty bright eyes. What he was about to do was only fair for everything you've done to him within the past few minutes, so he couldn't feel too guilty. You had to learn a lesson. He had to help you unlearn that normalized human selfishness and greed.

Caressing your face, he spoke for the last time before he began:

"Remember to tell me you love me after I'm done, okay?~"

[dameronology]

love in the time of p.t.a. meetings {marcus moreno} - 4/5

summary: after a few months of slightly chaotic bliss, you & marcus start to think about the next steps in your relationship. {series masterlist}

warnings: swearing 

this is up a little later than i wanted & i do apologise, i once again stayed up all night and i cannot recount a single thing i’ve done. enjoy!

- jazz

Things between you and Marcus quickly fell into a routine.

You kind of had to when you both had kids; their lives needed structure. Depended on it, in fact. It wasn’t long before both of your lives were entangled in more ways than one, mostly for the sake of Missy and Jack having security around them but also because things between you were so good. Neither of you were trying to rush by any means, but when it worked, it worked. You were both good at communicating with each other - not that many issues really cropped up - and you both understood that your children came first. Things progressed easily and naturally, and he made you feel secure enough that you didn’t have to question whether or not it was too good to be true. 

Five months had quickly passed and you were both comfortable. Marcus Moreno was your boyfriend and it wasn’t a big deal. Okay, it had been at first - especially the first time he planted a kiss on your lips in front of the minivan brigade - but now? It was normal. It felt like he’d always been there, and you took it as a good sign. You got on well with Missy, especially since she’d witnessed your spat with Carol and started to think the world of you, and Jack...well, he was obsessed with Marcus. You couldn’t blame the kid. 

‘Jack! Put the soup down!’ 

It was another one of those mornings. It was a Sunday, so you didn’t have to worry about getting up early for school or work but you’d been at Marcus’ till late the night before. You and Jack ended up spending a lot of time at his; there was a swimming pool and a big garden for Optimus Prime to run around in, so it tired both of your tiny spawns out, which worked in your favour.

 Even when the kid had spent four hours swimming last night, he’d still risen that morning at 6AM like Jesus Christ on the third day. You’d woken to find the kitchen covered in smashed eggs and ham, then your oven had broken and the toilet was blocked again. 

You’d been halfway through reversing the problem when you’d heard Jack shuffling in the kitchen. You were stood in the hallway, still in your pyjamas, with a toilet brush in one hand and the other balled up into a fist. 

‘Jack, the soup is about to-’

You paused mid-sentence, watching as the bowl he was trying to reach for toppled straight off of the counter. You’d only washed his hair ten minutes ago, and you might as well have not fucking bothered because it was now covered in chunky vegetable soup. And the Chewbacca onesie he loved so much? Trying to peel that off him for the next few hours to wash the Heinz out of it was going to be a whole task in itself. You’d only just been to the laundrette the day before, and you’d gotten to the point in life where having a place with its own washing machine was a sign of success. 

‘Mum, there’s soup in my hair.’

‘It’s okay.’ You took a moment to breath. ‘We are not going to cry.’

‘I’m not crying.’

‘Wasn’t talking to you, buddy.’ You rubbed your temples for a moment. ‘C’mon, let’s go hop in the bath.’

So much of parenting was just...stopping to breath. Stopping to take a moment to remind yourself that although your love for your child was unwavering and unconditional, you sometimes felt like screaming. All you’d done for the last five hours was go in circles, cleaning and lecturing and cleaning some more. It made you wish you were at work that day, because at least then you could have conversations with people that weren’t about what cheese they wanted for lunch or what cartoon they wanted to watch. 

‘I just had a bath.’ Jack muttered. 

‘Yeah well, you need another one.’ You took another deep breath. ‘I’ll be there in a minute-’

‘- I don’t want a bath!’

‘And I don’t want a kid that’s covered in soup!’ You shot back. ‘C’mon, buddy. Just do as I say, please?’

Your conversation was interrupted by a knock at the door. You frowned for a moment - you weren’t expecting anyone. There was no post on Sundays and you hadn’t seen your landlord since the day you’d moved in. Your nosey neighbour knocked sometimes, usually asking about the noise (he didn’t have kids, clearly) and you were this close to telling him to mind his own fucking business. 

‘I swear to god, if that’s David again, I am going to shove this can of soup up his - Marcus!’ You almost did a double take when you saw your boyfriend stood at the door - he really chose his times, didn’t he? You hadn’t even had time to put the fucking toilet brush down. ‘Hey.’ 

‘Hey, baby.’ He greeted you slowly, eyes slowly taking in your appearance (and not in a sexy way). ‘Were you not expecting me?’

‘Shit, did we have plans?’ Your eyes widened. 

‘No, but Jack called. He said you’d asked him to ask me to come over, but I realise half way through that sentence that starting with Jack called probably means you had no idea.’ He offered you a goofy smile. ‘He said that the sofa had exploded and that you needed help.’

There was a lot to unpack there. When had Jack done that? More to the point, when had he learnt to use the phone? How had he worked out your phone password? The kid couldn’t do up his own velcro and now he was a Russian hacker, apparently. 

‘Oh my god.’ You groaned. ‘I am so sorry. Things have been batshit here this morning and I’m sure he had my best interests in his weird little heart, but he made you come all this way-’

‘- Marcus!’ Speaking of the devil.

Jack pushed past you, wrapping his arms around Marcus’ waist. He leant down to pick him up, lifting him off the ground - albeit at a distance, due to Soupgate. 

‘Hey, buddy.’ He greeted him. ‘You been causing trouble again?’

‘Not on purpose.’ Jack replied. ‘Mum says I need another bath.’

‘I think she’s right.’ Marcus said. ‘Why don’t you go pick out some clothes and come back in a minute, yeah?’

‘Okay!’ Seemingly impressed by the newfound trust in him to choose an outfit, Jack wriggled himself back down to the floor, trotting towards his bedroom. Seriously, how did Marcus do that? Perhaps his ability to have authority over your archaic child was another hidden power of his. 

‘You look like you need a break, baby.’ He reached out, gently running a hand down your arm.

‘I’m fine, he’s just been a lot today.’ You sighed.

‘You have soup on your shirt and fluff in your hair.’

‘Couch stuffing.’

‘Huh?’

‘It’s couch stuffing. Except that was Optimus Prime and not Jack, which makes a nice change.’ You muttered.

‘Look, Missy is at her abuela’s today and she’s been begging for ages to see Jack again.’ He said. ‘What d’you say I drive him over there, you clean up and we hang out? Just us, no kids, no dogs, no stress.’

‘That sounds like a fucking dream.’ You couldn’t help but smile. ‘But Optimus has consumed half the couch and I gotta keep an eye on him-’

‘-we can bring him with us!’ Marcus grinned. ‘He loves the garden.’

‘Are you sure? Because I remember you saying you had work plans today and I don’t want you to cancel them on account for the fact I can’t control my own kid. Or life.’

‘You two come first.’ He said it as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. ‘Three, including Optimus Prime.’

--

In the time it took Marcus to drive Jack to his mum’s and get back to yours, you were able to clean up. The apartment was still a state, but it hadn’t been properly tidy in...how many days had it been since Jack was born? Because it hadn’t been clean in exactly that many days. You felt a little bad dumping him on Anita when he was still covered in soup, but if anyone was able to wrestle him into the bath and some clean clothes, it was her. You’d met her a few times and she was absolutely lovely, but you had no doubt she could be terrifying when need be. She was the sort of woman you aspired to be.

By midday, you were driving out the city. There was music playing quietly over the radio and you were watching the houses go by; even though it was cold out, you had the heater on and you were bundled up in a leather jacket, Marcus’ scarf snugly around your neck. It smelt faintly of his aftershave, which had become one of your favourite scents over the last five months. The time had gone so quickly. You’d seen each other practically every day since then, and having the kids meant you’d been fallen into being domestic pretty quickly. The simplicity of it all - him and you and getting to this point so easily - was overwhelming in itself. 

Your first relationship had been so complicated - so finicky and filled with unnecessary arguments. That should have been a sign early on, but then you’d gotten pregnant with Jack and getting married had seemed like the obvious thing to do. His presence meant you wouldn’t have changed anything, not for the entire fucking world, but it made you a little sad to think about how long you’d wasted on what had clearly been the wrong person. Meanwhile, Marcus’ situation had been entirely different; he’d had the right person the first time around and then he’d lost them. You never felt like a replacement to his wife, or even thought about the notion, really. That had been another part of his life. You were a new part and it didn’t mean he was forgetting the past. The two could co-exist without taking away from each other. 

‘You’re deep in thought.’ Marcus observed. He moved one of his hands to rest on your leg, giving it a light squeeze. He did that a lot, usually whenever you were sat beside him at the table or on the sofa. It was just a him thing. 

‘Yeah, sorry.’ You tore your gaze away from the window. ‘My brain always goes a little into overdrive when things are quiet.’

He chuckled. ‘What’s on your mind?’

‘You, actually.’ You tangled your fingers with his, thumb brushing over the back of his hand. ‘I was just thinking about lucky I am and how good things are, and how it almost feels too good to be true.’

‘Better believe it, baby.’ He replied. ‘Because it is true.’

‘I know.’ You peered over at him with a smile. ‘It’s just...my only perceptions of relationships were based on the single one I’ve had. Everything was so complicated and exhausting. This is completely different and it’s so nice. And normal. And I don’t know, that sounds stupid-’

‘- it’s not stupid at all.’ Marcus peered over at you, shaking his head. ‘It’s natural to be a little apprehensive after a bad relationship and if there’s anything I can do to help, you just have to tell me. You know that, right?’

Maybe it was the way he said it, or maybe it was just him, but you knew for certain that he meant that. There was sort of a silent agreement now that you were both in this for the long haul. Your mum had always said that you’ll know when you know but you’d always written that off. Mostly because you hadn’t known the first time round. But, now you did. You did know and though you weren’t going to admit that to Marcus, you never doubted him for a second. 

‘I do.’ You said. ‘But he’s in the past now - and hopefully it’s where he fucking stays.’

‘I have contacts. I can find him and set Miracle Guy on him.’ Marcus’ grin had returned. ‘Just say the word.’

‘You make a tempting offer.’ You smiled back at him. ‘But the past is the past and I’m ready to...slam the lid on that dumpster.’

‘Do you think he’ll ever want to come back into Jack’s life?’

You pondered for a moment. ‘I don’t think so, but if he did, I dunno if I’d let him. I never wanna be the person who stops someone from seeing their kids but what he did was...it was unforgivable.’

‘You don’t have to make that decision until it actually happens.’ Marcus gently said. ‘And I’ll support whatever you choose.’

He pulled into the drive way of his house - his nice, clean, sofa-stuffing-and-soup free house. Optimus Prime leapt out the car as soon as the door was open, practically tearing past the two of you and down towards the yard. There was a moment of silence and then a splash!

‘Guess he found the pool.’ Marcus commented. ‘At least it’s heated, I s’pose.’

Truth be told, he loved having the three of you at his house. It felt like whatever had been missing before was slowly making an appearance as your relationship progressed. The irony was that you brought nothing but chaos and clutter with you, but that was exactly what made it feel like a home. It was small things; the painting that Jack had done for him at after school club was now hung up up on the fridge, and there was a photo of him and Missy on the fireplace with Optimus Prime. Half of the thousands of blankets of pillows that had been at your place had ended up on his sofa, thanks to the countless sleepovers. 

If he could have it his way, Marcus would have you live with here all the time. The energy that you and Jack brought made everything feel complete. He loved the evenings where Missy and Jack would play out in the pool, and you two would sit back inside, complaining about the cold. Then there were the nights where you’d take both the kids back here when he was working late, and he’d come home to find you piled on the couch watching an old movie, with your burnt cooking abandoned on the stove, surrounded by boxes of left over take out. It was the kind of thing that was so simple and so domestic, but it was everything he wanted. 

That was probably the flashpoint moment when Marcus Moreno realised he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you. He already knew he loved you - he’d worked that out about three months in, when you’d fallen asleep in one of his shirts whilst trying to wait up for him - but he hadn’t said it. He’d hinted at it and made back-handed comments but he’d barely admitted it to himself, let alone to anyone else. He knew what you and Jack had gone through before and it broke his entire fucking heart. You both deserved someone who stand by you and support you, someone who would embrace you both for the craziness and warm energy you brought everywhere with you. More than ever, he was realising he wanted to be that person who gave it you. After all, you’d made his life so much brighter without even trying.

Snapping out of his trance, Marcus looked over at you. You’d already ditched your shoes and dropped onto the sofa, pulling one of the blankets with you. This was exactly what you needed. A quiet house, your favourite person and a cable knit blanket. 

‘Hey, baby?’ 

You looked over at him, smiling at the name. ‘Yeah?’

‘You know I love you, right?’

You blinked in surprise, sitting up. ‘I know.’

‘You do?’

‘You’ve never said it, but I can tell.’ You nodded, before offering a smile. ‘And I love you too.’

‘I’m sorry I didn’t say it sooner.’ He slowly approached you, dropping onto the sofa beside you and taking your hands in his. ‘I think I just got so caught up in everything and feeling everything that I forgot.’

‘Why are you apologising?’ You couldn’t help but scoff at him, leaning forward to press a kiss to his lips. ‘It’s your actions that say it, Marc. Hearing it is good but you showed it a long time ago.’

‘I know, but really you deserve to hear it everyday.’ He smiled against you, helping you move onto his lap. 

‘You do tell me everyday, with the things you do.’ You reminded him. ‘Like meeting me in the parking lot with coffee, or bribing Jack into going to bed early with video messages from your superheroes, or doing my grocery shopping when you know money is short.’

‘Why wouldn’t I do those things?’ Marcus seemed genuinely confused. ‘It’s you.’

‘I love you.’ You repeated the phrase. 

‘And I love you.’

He pulled you into another kiss - this time it was a little firmer, not unlike your second declaration of love. Marcus did all those things without thinking, simply out of his intense want for you to just be happy. He was the same with Missy, always doing little things to make her life easier just because. It was just part of who he was, and it made him happy to see his loved ones happy. 

With your body pressed against his and your hands tangled in your hair, Marcus realised he didn’t want you to ever leave again. He didn’t want you to have to drive home in the dark at ten because all of your stuff was on the other side of town. You did stay over sometimes, but then you’d have to creep out at 6AM with a sleeping Jack in your arms to get home in time to get ready. He wanted you here all the time. You should have been here all the time. 

‘Move in with me?’ 

He both did and didn’t mean to say it out loud. He did because he wanted you so badly to be a permanent fixture in the house, but he also didn’t because the idea might have been a little absurd. Was it too soon? What if you didn’t want to leave your place? He knew you loved your apartment. It was your home and had been for a long time.

‘What?!’ You suddenly pulled back from the kiss, eyes wide. 

‘I mean...if you want to.’ Marcus slowly said. ‘Hell, Missy and I can move to your place if that’s what you want. It might be tight but she loves the dog and I just want to be with you-’

‘- hey!’ You cut him off, planting your hands on his shoulders. ‘You’re rambling again, but that’s besides the point. I would love to live here.’

‘You would?’

‘I would.’ You smiled. 

It made sense. Aside from the glaringly obvious fact you wanted to, it was also practical. It was closer to the school, closer to your work and it had a fucking swimming pool. Marcus was already clearly financially secure and moving in wouldn’t mean relying on him, but it would have meant that things for Jack were a lot more stable. Missy loved the company of you both, and it meant she would finally have the dog she wanted so bad. 

‘Missy would be okay with it, right?’ You asked.

‘She was the one who put the idea in my head, actually.’ Marcus admitted. ‘I’d thought about it but then she kind of asked in passing why you don’t live here, and I couldn’t give her an answer.’

‘Your kid is smart.’

‘D’you think Jack will-’

‘- I’m going to stop you there.’ You cut him off.

‘Right, I probably don’t need to ask that question.’ He chuckled.

‘Exactly.’ You pressed a kiss to his nose. ‘Don’t forget the dog, either.’

‘How could I? I can literally see him peeing on my lawn right now.’

‘Our lawn.’

--

Exactly three weeks later - and after a hefty amount of paperwork and hours of sorting through Jack’s endless amounts of crap that he insisted on hoarding - moving day came. 

Anita had insisted on having the kids again. They were both excited, but perhaps a little too much. They were probably more likely to get in the way of things if anything. Children, a dog and large boxes? It seemed like a match made in hell. Plus, she had a whole ass training course in her back garden and if that didn’t wear the kid out, then you were definitely going to take him to the Heroics to get tested. The thought alone was enough to tire you out. 

You didn’t have too much stuff to move. You’d been half-moved into the damn place before Marcus had even made the formal proposal, so that made things a lot easier. You were keeping your sofa for Jack’s room, but the rest was going to Goodwill. Most of it had come from there in the first place.

‘I think that’s the last box.’ Marcus announced, exiting the bedroom. ‘I didn’t realise that a five year could own so many variations of storm-trooper toys.’

‘Oh, yeah.’ You replied. ‘There’s the original trilogy ones, sequel trilogy ones, dark troopers, shock troopers, clone troopers - and I realise half way through listing them that you don’t care.’

‘I never said that!’ He placed his hands on your waist, pressing a kiss to your forehead. ‘I’m excited to learn.’

‘I’m sure Jack is excited to tell you.’ You grinned. 

Then, it faltered slightly with the realisation you were actually leaving this place. You’d never intended for it to be your permanent home, but it had still been the centre of your entire universe for half a decade. Every room told a story; the crayon marks on the bathroom wall, the dents behind the TV from, the crack in the living room mirror. All caused by Jack, naturally. The last five years was contained entirely within these four walls and you got bleary eyed at the idea of it becoming someone else’s. 

‘Hey, don’t cry.’ Marcus gently wiped away a tear from your cheek. 

‘You know, the rent is still paid till the end of the month so we could revisit the idea of you and Missy living here instead.’ You tearfully smiled. 

‘You’re kidding but you know I’ll do it.’ He pressed another kiss to your nose, grip on your arms tightening. 

‘It’s okay.’ You moved so that the kiss landed on your mouth instead, capturing his lips in a brief kiss. ‘I knew we were gonna outgrow this place. I just didn’t expect it to be so soon.’

‘I know. Still kinda feels like it all came out of no-where, huh?’ He replied. ‘In the best way.’

‘You’re right. In the best way.’ You firmly nodded. ‘Can you believe I was 23 when I moved into this place? I found it on Craiglist within ten minutes of finding out I was pregnant.’

‘Do you wanna take a minute before we go?’

‘No, it’s fine.’ You shook your head. ‘We should get going.’

The apartment was just that: an apartment. And the house you were going to was just that: a house. But the people you were with? That’s what made it count. It wasn’t about the four walls or the roof over your head, or whether or not it had a big yard and a jacuzzi bath tub (though, that did help). It was about the laughter and warmth inside; the faces in the photos on the wall and the people you came home to after a long day. It was the smell of your burnt cooking and the pizza you’d ordered in place. It was Jack’s toys left in the exact place where someone could trip and it was Missy using all the hot water in the morning so that Marcus’ showers were practically arctic. It was everyday things that reminded you of the people around you; the people that made it home, and how lucky you were to have them.

That was home. And you’d found yours. 

taglist: @naivara-duneimith @1-2-3-4-5metalfingers @likeshootingstarsinthenightsky�� @lyanna-the-giantsbane @phoenixhalliwell @crazycookiecrumbles​ @bitchin-beskar​ @comphersjost

[kitkatpancakestack]

In response to this. I am replying in a new post bc I have the "no sense of brevity" flavor of ADHD so I know this is gonna get long.

@yramesoruniverse thank you so much for asking, as a matter of fact I do have some thoughts *cracks knuckles*

Let me preface this by saying I am not going to sit here and pretend I don't spend 90% of my waking hours ruminating on this. We all know what we're doing here. That being said, I have considered several variations on how I would love the 9-1-1 team to deliver this:

1. Let's call it the "Two Trapped Dads" scenario:

I implore you to consider the ANGST and POETRY of Buck and Eddie getting trapped somewhere, as civilians, and being forced to depend on each other in order to survive. The serve of this hypothetical scenario would be made more rich set in the context of them having had an argument, or just there being some kind of withstanding tension between the two that has been ignored and left to build to a nauseating degree.

(Side note: I love Buck and Eddie because when they fight it's never with any real animosity. It always stems from the terrifying magnitude of their Love for each other. It's not arguing, it's just them caring about each other very aggressively. Absolutely iconic.)

ANYWAY, in this scenario they careen into disaster over Christopher, as I see it playing out that for some reason they believe only one of them will be able to 100% make it out alive. I imagine the tension has been building since the guardianship bomb and Buck regresses to what he believes he does best, which is being a sacrificial lamb, which shoves their moment from 4x14 back into the forefront. It would force Eddie to not only seismically double down on what he said, but literally spell out to Buck what he means to Eddie, not just Christopher.

Example:

Buck: Obviously you're the one that's getting out, you have a son waiting for you.

Eddie: Screw that, you mean just as much to him as I do.

Buck: I'm irrelevant unless you're dead, Eddie, and there is no way I'm letting you die here today.

Eddie: You're such an idiot, Buck. How can you still not get it?

Buck: Get what?

Eddie: We're a family. All three of us. What did you think that whole will thing was about, anyway? Christopher and I . . . there's no us without you.

jfc someone stop me before I write an entire script, but I think you get the gist of this one.

2. Next we have the "Just-Tell-Me-What-You-WANT" scenario:

The Drama Queen in me is obsessed with this one. It would, unfortunately, require a significantly laid foundation between Buck and a love interest (Taylor ig? It's not important, tbh). Originally, I had this scenario flipped, but since we as a fandom have collectively established Eddie as the Pining Idiot in Love, we're gonna switch it up.

So, again, Buck would be progressing significantly in his relationship with [insert intentionally poorly-defined love interest here]. In the fallout of the guardianship scene, I can still see him struggling with how to untangle his Feelings about what Eddie said to him, and losing himself in the disingenuous familiarity of "Buck 1.0" (I am with Eddie in that I hate his software updates but it's canon material so there you go). The escalation of this hypothesis results in Buck contemplating taking the next step with Taylor or, more realistically, contemplating moving out of the city with her as she's been recruited for a promotion elsewhere. I could see Eddie coming over to Buck's place and them discussing this, because they discuss everything, and Eddie just getting more and more exasperated because Buck doesn't look happy but he won't stop and think, he's just barreling ahead as usual. And so Eddie calls him out.

I think it would be something like Eddie going, "What are you even doing? You obviously don't want this."

And Buck being like, "I'm not discussing what I want with you."

and Eddie just exploding, "What? What do you want, Buck? You never express what you really feel so just . . . what do you really want?"

And Buck just going fuck it and grabbing him and pressing years of want and need and love into Eddie's mouth and yeah *fans face* I'm FINE.

3. Finally, the "Wait-For-Me-To-Come-Home" scenario:

Ideally a season finale moment, paralleled to the other couples on the show. The episode would feature a series of calls relating to couples/families experiencing some degree of separation but always finding their way back to each other. At the end there's a montage of Bathena, Madney, Mavid, Henren etc. reuniting after some sort of contention and then it would stop on Buck alone in his apartment, sitting at his table identical to what we saw in Tsunami Pt. 2, completely overwhelmed by how quiet it is and how alone he feels. And maybe Buck is considering something he heard on one of the calls. Whatever the situation, it ends with him heading to Eddie's house and it's late, like two in the morning late, and the final scene is Buck knocking on Eddie's door looking wild-eyed and desperate and there's no dialogue, just them. And Eddie opens the door wider and steps back as Buck steps in and they just stand a breath's distance away, just staring at each other, and then Eddie closes the door and everything fades to black and *flings myself off a cliff*

Bonus: I call this the "Fever Dream" scenario because I dreamt it when I was, in fact, feverish and hallucinating after my second COVID vaccine:

Buck is out running an errand before going into work and ends up in a robbery situation where he obviously intervenes and ends up getting hurt. The episode would open with the 118 being unable to reach Buck and ragging on him, and the first call they respond to is, indeed, Buck on the verge of death. The rest of the episode would then show the sequence of events leading up to that moment and finish with Buck and Eddie in the back of the ambulance, and Buck just touches Eddie's face, or wraps his fist around the St. Christopher necklace hanging around Eddie's neck, and Eddie is Not Handling Things and then Buck flatlines in the back of the ambulance and jfjdsaldflja somebody stop me before I write a fic *flings myself off another cliff*

As you can see I haven't thought about this much at all. Also, you deserve a fucking award if you made it to the end of this.

I have buddie brainrot! They're actually ruining my life! I have lost control! I'm doing GREAT!!!

[millenialfanfictionaddiction]

just realised that despite being the resident meme maker, the only other contribution I have made to your page is the time I sent in pictures of my lil knitted bee (a small but necessary interaction) so I am seeking to rectify that by sending in a live action headcanon that I have. (this is probably gonna be a long post) I have severe brainrot for the haikyuu boys as dads and I am now making it your problem.

Option 1 - Stepfather edition using bokuto as an example

You are yn (you are incredibly lucky) and you have a son who is OBSESSED with volleyball. You know very little about it but as a good parent, you obviously support his interests 😊👍. So when he asks you if he can go to a volleyball match you agree happily. Cut to you and your son watching an MSBY game. Your son is thrilled, you're thrilled that he's thrilled, everything is fine. Until its not.

The game is finished and your son is nowhere to be seen and you are in the lobby panicking. Your son has decided that he really wants to meet his idols, so he runs over to the area where they are meeting people. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people trying to talk to them as well and with all the pushing and shoving, he gets knocked to the floor. (which is no joke, terrifying to me. The idea of getting trampled on by a crowd is scary as fuck) Luckily, Bokuto notices, because of course he does, and parts the crowd to pick him up before any damage is done (we all breathe a deep sigh a relief).

Now is your son shaken up? Yes. But is he super worried about the fact he nearly just got trampled to death? Not as much as he should be. However he is your son and he knows how to work a situation to his advantage. Cue him crying and whining so he gets special attention from the volleyball players. It works and Bokuto is now doing everything in his power to cheer your son up. Honestly just try to tell me that he isn't good with kids. Is he responsible? No. Is he fun? Absolutely!

You have now located your son by his high pitched sobs and have shoved your way through the crowds to get to your son (because you are just that strong and badass). After confirming that your son is okay (his crying has mysteriously stopped) you turn to thank the person who saved your son and ... Suddenly you are a lot more interested in volleyball 😏. Bokuto is trying not to to stare at you and failing and trying not to to call you a MILF and succeeding (oikawa could take some lessons from that). Akaashi always told him good rewards come from good deeds and it seems he was right (as always). In this case the reward comes in being thanked by a beautiful woman.

Now you leave soon after (and very nearly trigger an emo mood from Bokuto) but on the car ride home, you did agree to take your son back for the next game, as long as he doesn't leave your side. He agrees and you two are first in line for the next meet and greet, which Bokuto is very happy about. As you are about to leave, he hands you a piece of paper with his number on it. (i want to cry, i wish i was yn) Cut to like 8 years or so in the future and your son is playing in his first volleyball match at Fukurodani and Bokuto is alternating between sobbing onto your shoulder and yelling 'thats my son!' at the top of his lungs every time he spikes a ball.

Uhh so that was longer then I was planning on. I'll do the second part in a separate ask but I hoped that was ok :)

Ok back up 🤚🏻 this is ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE 😍🥺 seriously! I laughed and was like "awe Bokuto 🥺" the entire time!

I 1000% agree with this Bokuto! He's so amazing with kids because essentially, he is a child 🤣 He's going to try and be the "cool dad" and he very much succeeds at it!

And the fact that you in Oikawa slander killed me 😭 and our lovely Bokuto remember advice his junior gave him! Please tell Bokuto wouldn't put that in his wedding vows because he would 🤣

I think everyone can agree Bokuto would be one of the best parents in the HQ world. He would be at every sport event, recital, spelling bee, you name it! And if he couldn't make it, he would make his partner record it. Also tell me he wouldn't make a stuffed doll of himself for his kids to cuddle with every night 🤚🏻 he also would FaceTime everybedtime to read stories.

I cam also picture Bokuto being a high school volleyball coach 🤣 like imagine that for just a second if you will

AHEM

"Bokuto what did you do when you couldn't hit spikes?"- random child asking for Bokutos advice

"Well, I just kept trying and eventually the trying paid off"- Bokuto

"You have got to be kidding me!"- Akaashi, assistant coach but really actually the real head coach 😅

Also those bees were the absolute most adorable things ever 🥺

[emiefaunwrites]

Not sure if this would cause angst or just some funny shenanigans, but I’m curious…

Has Taka and Leon ever been on a date that just… went horribly wrong?

Heyyy!!

So yes. Yes there is one particular date that I can think of that went horribly wrong. And I think it's about time that a certain member of Leon's family turns up at this point...

So just before I continue, I want to clarify my opinion on Kanon. I don't know all that much about her, but the things that are BEYOND obvious is that she is young and that she is obsessed with her older cousin Leon. Obsessed to the point of stalking, manipulative behaviour and attempted assault.

Now as someone who has, unforunately, had an obsession with an ex of mine, I know how difficult it is to shake those feelings. They make you act in ridiculous ways and turn you into a person that you honestly are not. Thankfully I never hurt anyone physically nor did I stalk, but I was manipulative and controlling and became a person I am ashamed to remember today. And once that obsession fades (which it thankfully did for me), the guilt and the embarrassment is crippling and I live with it daily.

Now I'm not at all saying she is right in what she's doing - it's absolutely wrong. It is NOT an excuse to stalk, or harrass, or assault the 'object of your affection' in the slightest and I do not condone Kanon's behaviour or actions at all. But I would like to try and portray Kanon as a girl who cannot control her emotions and all the ways that it manifests - the two sides of obsession. I think it's important to show what obsession looks like as well as the affect it has on everyone around them - including the person they are obsessed with so if you aren't comfortable with obsessive behaviour or just with Kanon's character in general, please don't read this.

Okay. So enough on that. Here is the disaster date! Thank you for your ask and I hope you enjoy!!

**********************

• Leon hasn't told Taka about his cousin, Kanon.

• It isn't really an easy topic to bring up - how your cousin is obsessed with you.

• It'a always made Leon uncomfortable and he's tried to rebuff the attention in many different ways.

• He tried telling her that cousins shouldn't date - but she ignored it.

• He tried to steer her towards boys her own age, suggesting he help hook her up with someone - but she was adamant the HE was the only one for her.

• He tried grossing her out, not washing for a few days before she visited - but she took no notice.

• Eventually, in his 'asshole' phase, he took drastic measures.

• After years of torment and feeling uncomfortable, he announced to her, in front of his 'friends', that she was ugly and he only liked 'sexy' girls.

• He would NEVER consider dating her, not unless she threw a pitch at 100km - something he knew would be impossible.

• And until that day, she wasn't to talk to him anymore.

• A part of him felt guilty - she's his cousin after all, and the last thing he wants is to hurt her.

• But he's tired of it all, and he's already under so much social pressure, and he pretty much hates himself anyway - so he stood his ground and shut her down.

• Since then, he's barely thought about her.

• But about eight months into his relationship with Taka, he encounters her again.

• Because what Leon doesn't know is Kanon's obsession has only grown stronger.

• And because she's been blocked from his social media, she's resorted to a fake profile to follow him.

• And she happens to know that Leon will be on a date with someone in the city.

• And not just anyone. A date with A BOY.

• And she can't deal with that so she oh so conveniently happened to have caught two trains and a bus just to be in there too.

• So Leon and Taka are sat in their favourite cafe, enjoying each other's company.

• When Leon sees a familiar face on the other side of the street. Heading this way.

• 'Oh fuck.'

• Taka's super confused as his boyfriend ducks down, covering his face with his jacket, looking intensely uncomfortable.

• 'Are you okay?'

• 'My cousin's here.'

• 'Your cousin?'

• Glancing out the window, Leon sees that Kanon is heading straight for the cafe and tries to shrink further down under the table.

• Why is she here?! What is he supposed to do?! And what about Taka?! What will she do to him?!

• The cafe door jingles open and he KNOWS it's her so he grabs the menu and tries to cover his face...

• Not knowing that Kanon knows JUST who to look for and bounds right over with a big smile.

• 'Hi Lee!!'

• He pries his face away from the menu, barely able to look her in the eye as he smiles uncomfortably.

• 'H-hey, Kanon...'

• 'I'm just meeting a friend and she's a BIG fan of yours and wanted to see if I could introduce you...'

• 'S-sure...'

• 'And she told me you'd be here today so I thought we'd meet here! She said you'd be on a date! So...where is she?'

• The mood has DEFINITELY changed now. The glint in her eye at the mention of date was one of jealousy.

• 'C'mon, Lee! I wanna meet the girl that stole your heart! I bet she's SUUUUUPER sexy, right?'

• Her words are like knives, sickly sweet and dangerous...

• But Taka reads the situation and chimes in.

• 'He's meeting her later. He wanted a pep talk first so asked me here before he meets her.'

• LIES! Kanon KNOWS that filthy boy is LYING and the glare she sends his way is completely opposite to the personality she's shown so far.

• But in a flash, she smiles back at Leon and slides into the seat next to him.

• 'Great! Let's hang out then, Lee! It's been wayyyy too long!'

• Taka REALLY isn't comfortable with what's happening.

• This girl, who must still be about 15, is pressed up far too much to her cousin - touching his arm VERY inappropriately and with her face FAR too close to be innocent.

• And Leon looks terrified - pressed right up against the window to try and be as far as possible but is quite obviously trapped.

• 'I think Leon needs a bit of space...'

• 'No this is how we ALWAYS are! We're SUPER close, aren't we Lee?'

• 'Leon doesn't look comfortable.'

• 'I said we're close. I don't need to listen to you.'

• 'I really think you should back off a bit.'

• 'And I think you should go to HELL!'

• Aha. Here we go. The act has dropped and there's a possessive, dangerous look in her eye as she snarls towards Taka.

• 'What do YOU know about my Lee?'

• 'He's not 'your Lee'...'

• 'YES HE IS! HE'S MINE! And YOU can't have him!'

• Leon looks absolutely powerless as Kanon crushes herself against him - begging Taka to help him with tearful eyes as he shrinks into himself in shame.

• Yeah. Enough is enough.

• Taka stands up and grabs Leon by the hand - using his entire strength to pull him (and therefore Kanon) out of the stall and towards the door.

• 'GET OFF MY LEE!'

• The girl goes crazy, punching and kicking Taka in an attempt to stop him until she's held back by other concerned patrons of the cafe.

• 'I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL KILL YOU FOR STEALING HIM! I HATE YOU!'

• Taka makes sure to push Leon out of the cafe before heading back abd he glares down at the girl in front of him.

• 'If you truly give a damn about Leon, then you will realise just what damage you've done today. You've humilated him in public, you have degraded him and you have shown a side to yourself that I'm sure you'll be ashamed of. Your feelings are obsessive and you need to get some help.'

• All the rage and emotion floods out of Kanon as she sees Leon sobbing outside, guilt and embarrassment taking over as she truly sees what she has become.

• Oh but Taka isn't done.

• With an ice cold looks, he offers one final warning.

• 'If you EVER pull this kind of shit again, I will not hesitate to involve the police. I don't care who you are or how young you are. I will NOT tolerate MY boyfriend being abused by anyone - especially his own family. So stay the fuck away from him.'

• Of course, the date is over so the rest of the day is spent comforting Leon in the solitude of Taka's dorm.

• Leon tells Taka everything right from the beginning and Taka vows to himself that he will keep Leon safe.

• And who knows? Maybe one day Kanon will realise what she's done and bridges can be built once again.

• But that's not for now.

• For now, Taka needs to remind this beautiful boy in his arms just how much he means to him in every single way he can.

[bratz-kitten]

(long rant/story time ahead, you’re warned) // tw near panic attack and older men

okay so. i had my first official drivers license class. and im feeling so complicated. like... first of all, why do i need the attention of this 40 year old man so bad? and second of all, why do i get so triggered by his presence? the first time we met i got so obsessed with him because he was flirting with me and today, i entered the class and i was going to sit in the back, he immediately told me to go sit in the one place that was closest to him, and i immediately thought to myself fuck because that meant he was going to use me for all his examples (which he did, btw). anyways. when i tell you i was gonna vomit and faint and have a panic attack. bro.

he started triggering me so much because he talked so loudly and made very sudden movements and constantly cursed and that just immediately made me start to feel sick, and then he touched my shoulder while talking to the class and i literally flinched and that was so embarrassing. every time he tried to make eye contact with me i’d just stare at the ground, and sit there stiff like a statue while scratching my hands so that i wouldn’t lose focus. he kept asking me if i was okay which made me feel really good but then he called me hot in front of the whole class which made me so fucking embarrassed i couldn’t even reply, and then he kept telling me that i looked scared and that i had to breathe and let loose which embarrassed me EVEN MORE LIKE WHY ARE YOU SAYING THAT IN FRONT OF EVERYONE ELSE???

first of all, it’s insane to me how i can be so confident and bright sometimes but then when it comes to being around someone i genuinely like i can’t even look them in the eyes or talk because i feel a lump in my throat. like, bro. i am all that. i KNOW THAT I’M ALL THAT. why do i get so insecure when the attention is on me then?

second of all, he triggered my issues with authority issues so bad... tell me why i feel so attracted to him but get so anxious at the fact that he was being bossy and harsh? it made me feel so special that he kept paying attention to me in class, while also making me feel so stressed bc he was constantly putting me on the spot and i felt everyone’s eyes and judgment on me.

third of all, i hate how visibly people can notice that there’s something wrong with me... it just sucks being so transparent with my emotions. and i hate how intensely i feel about this whole situation, ten minutes ago i was feeling so disgusted at him and now im back to being obsessed. and now im terrified that just bc i was more reserved and didn’t match his playful energy, he’s gonna reject me and start ignoring me and choose another favorite. im already so attached to this random man bro i feel like im gonna die rn i need to get my shit together

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

𝙰𝚝𝚎𝚎𝚣 𝚈𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝙿𝚛𝚘𝚏𝚒𝚕𝚎𝚜: 𝙲𝚑𝚘𝚒 𝙹𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚑𝚘

Disclaimer: In no way am I trying to condone, justify, encourage, promote nor romanticize Yandere behavior or lifestyle. This is all a work of fiction and not meant to represent real life scenarios.

Warnings: Mentions of toxic relationships, possessive/obsessive behavior, stalking, kidnapping, physical aggression, sexual harassment (not from reader/member's side), domestic violence, sexual scenes, brief mention of contemplated abortion, hints of post-partum depression, attempted murder, actual murder, death.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

𝐁𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐜 𝐈𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧:

𝙽𝚊𝚖𝚎: 𝙲𝚑𝚘𝚒 𝙹𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚑𝚘

𝙳.𝙾.𝙱: 𝙾𝚌𝚝𝚘𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝟷𝟸𝚝𝚑, 𝟸𝟶𝟶𝟶

𝙷𝚎𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝: 𝟷𝟽𝟼 𝙲𝙼/ 𝟻'𝟿 𝙵𝚃

𝙰𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝙻𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚕: ■■■■□80%

𝙾𝚋𝚜𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝙻𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚕: ■■■■□90%

𝙼𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚊𝚕 𝙸𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚋𝚒𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚢: ■■■■□80%

𝙾𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚃𝚑𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝 𝙻𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚕: 𝙸𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚖𝚎𝚍𝚒𝚊𝚝𝚎

𝚈𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝙲𝚕𝚊𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚏𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗: 𝙾𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚟𝚎

𝙱𝚎𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚛𝚊𝚕 𝙰𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚢𝚜𝚒𝚜:

𝙾𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚋𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚠𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚑 𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚝.

𝙿𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚜𝚎 𝚛𝚊𝚐𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚓𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚢.

𝚁𝚎𝚏𝚞𝚜𝚊𝚕 𝚝𝚘 𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚘𝚠 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚊𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚜.

𝙴𝚡𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚊𝚛𝚢 𝚑𝚞𝚖𝚊𝚗 𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚐𝚝𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚐𝚎𝚝𝚜 𝚛𝚎𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚟𝚘𝚔𝚎𝚍.

𝚄𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚕 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚜𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚙𝚑𝚢𝚜𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚕 𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚖 𝚍𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚝.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

You were such a small and fragile thing....of course it was his duty to protect you.

From the very day he watched you walk down the stairs from the university.

You were carrying so many books and folders, you failed to notice the skateboard some idiot left there.

Jongho was there just in time to prevent you from falling and hitting your head.

As he looked into your eyes, he felt a strange feeling rising in his chest.

"Are you ok?" He looked you all over, making sure you weren't hurt.

Your face was no doubt red, both at being flustered by Jongho's handsome face and his strong arms holding you.

And from embarrassment cause you're a clumsy fool.

"Yeah... thanks."

Jongho was sweet enough to gather all of your things, handing them back to you with the most adorable gummy smile that had you melting.

"See you around." He sent you a wink and picked up the skateboard, knowing fully well who it belonged to.

He came in class and made his way over to his desk, but not before bonking the person next to him with the skateboard.

"What the fuck man?!" The guy took off his beanie and soothed the hurt spot.

"Stop leaving your trash at random places Yeosang."

He grumbled as he took his seat, but for the rest of the day, he couldn't concentrate on anything that wasn't you.

And it was like that for the rest of the semester .

Jongho was constantly checking up on you whenever he could.

Making sure you were ok and not getting hurt.

Of course.....you never knew about this.

Never noticed him lurking around in the shadows whenever you went home nor when you were doing the most ordinary things in life.

You just kept going on with your daily routine, not noticing the pair of eyes following you, or as he liked to call it:

Watch over you.

Jongho made it his personal mission to protect you, and he did that in several ways.

Whenever someone would trip you in the hallways, he'd end up slamming them onto their lockers.

If any guy decided to try and cat call you or flirt with you, they were met with a punch to their gut.

But the worse? The worse came during the middle of the year.

One of your professors started creeping you out.

He would often pat your back, telling you how well you did on your test or presentations.

But his hand would be too low than what you felt comfortable with.

You often just shimmied out of his touch and just smiled awkwardly, while walking out of there as fast as you could.

Or he'd often leave notes on your returned homework and offer you candy, which you adamantly refused.

It all culminated when your professors overstepped all boundaries when he asked to speak to you one day after class.

You were of course already nervous.

Jongho on the other hand, was clenching his fist so tightly, blood was slightly drawn from his nails digging into his palm.

He had to watch as the professor practically pressed you up against the wall.

You shoved him away and got out of there as fast as you could, with all intention of telling the school board what happened.

Until the professor threatened to purposefully fail you if you didn't accept his advances.

Jongho merely scoffed.

He stayed long enough to make sure you made it home safely.

Then he decided to go hunting for a certain bastard.

Taking advantage of the dark of night, he covered his face with a mask and wore dark clothing.

Easily breaking into the man's house, he took him by surprise before proceeding to use his bare fists to beat the shit out of him.

Jongho really wanted to kill him at the moment, but held himself back.

He wanted to get his point across and he was going to get it.

Leaving him bleeding profusely, his breathing raspy, Jongho gave him one warning:

"Y/N is mine. Stay the fuck away from her or I'll really kill you next time."

It worked because the professor soon left his resignation letter, not wanting to face of whoever it was that was watching over you.

Jongho felt proud of himself for getting him away from you.

But then guilt started to eat him alive.

If only he'd taken better care of you, this would have never happened.

Out there, all alone in the world........you were so vulnerable and defenseless.

He had to do something about it.

One night while you were fast asleep, he came inside your house.

He thank the heavens you were a heavy sleeper, otherwise he'd have a lot of trouble.

But he managed to transport you back to his house.

He gently laid you down on the bed, admiring your sleeping figure.

He felt giddy at the thought of finally having you all to himself that he hardly got any sleep.

You on the other hand woke up terrified when you found yourself in a strange room.

Jongho came inside, completely calm, fully expecting you to freak out at first.

"Shh. It's ok love. You're safe now."

He tried to caress your face, but it just startled you more and it annoyed him.

"Baby....I'm not going to hurt you." He said, his voice had a stern tone to it underneath.

You tried to make a dash for the door, but he quickly got ahold of you.

He trapped you in his large arms but still you tried to get away.

"Let me go! Let go of me!" You tried kicking your feet.

But Jongho was not budging at all.

"No! You can't go back out there again! You'll be hurt by other people."

He turned you so you were now facing him.

"I'm here to protect you..." He slowly leaned in, trying to kiss you.

Instead he was met with you kneeing him on his crotch. He doubled over in pain, but managed to compose himself quickly.

He rushed over to you before you reached the front door, pulling you by the hair and shoving you against the wall.

You hit your head pretty hard and felt something trickling down.

"Oh no babygirl." Jongho suddenly turned all loving again, like he wasn't just going ballistic seconds ago.

"See? This is what I mean. Out there.....you could get hurt even more."

You couldn't understand his reasoning.

And you couldn't understand why he wouldn't let you go out at all.

"You don't need to go out. You're safe here with me."

He kept trying to be affectionate with you, but you always refused, not wanting him near you.

He tried being nice to you all the time, but more often than not, you lashed out at him, absolutely despising him.

Jongho would usually have patience with you, but when you crossed the line and tested his patience......

You ended up with a bruise on your face or a bloody nose.

Of course, he'd always seem shocked with himself, immediately attending to your wounds and apologizing over and over again.

You were getting so sick of it. You actually felt like you were going insane.

You missed your parents, family, your friends, you were craving warmth and affection so badly you started freaking out and nearly had an anxiety attack.

You felt so out of mind you actually let Jongho hold you, caress you, comfort you while you sobbed in his chest.

"Baby. It's ok. I'm here. You're safe."

You don't know what came over you, you just knew you wanted to feel something, anything other than the emptiness and pain you were feeling.

Even Jongho was surprised when you kissed him desperately, but he didn't mind. He finally got to kiss you.

He had enough conscience to pull away though when you began getting more handsy and straddling him.

"Are you sure about this?"

When you simply whined and pulled him on top of you, he got the hint.

You didn't care if it was wrong, you just let Jongho take your pain away and replace it with immense pleasure.

You loved how strong he was, loved the way his thick cock kept pushing inside of you and enjoyed those blissful moments his body offered you.

Jongho was in heaven as well. He had waiting for the day to finally make love to you and it came.

Jongho swore it was love, you just thought of it as a distraction.

A distraction you needed to stop when you skipped not 1, but 2 months, which you were scared of.

Jongho however was happy. "You mean we're going to have a baby?"

The color drained from your face as you sternly said. "No! We're not having a baby Jongho! We can't! We have to get rid of it!

He wasn't having it though. Jongho couldn't let you get rid of the product of your guys' love.

So as cruel as it was, he kept you chained to the bed, refusing to let you get out in fear of you harming yourself or the baby, his baby.

Your pregnancy months were hell to you and during childbirth you were almost dying.

It was the only time Jongho got you out of the house in over a year but you had no strength to say anything about your situation.

You were in too much pain and fear at the thought of getting a c-section because the baby came 2 months earlier than expected.

You woke up and still felt weak, had no will to do anything but allow the nurses to take care of you and have Jongho by your side, praising you and your guys' baby, which you honestly did not really care for.

You felt so detached from your own child, even though you knew it wasn't her fault.

You two went home after the doctors deemed your baby healthy enough.

Jongho was ecstatic about starting a family life with you and was even more attentive to you and the baby.

You on the other hand came to resent her crying at night, hated having to feed her and detested hearing Jongho speak so fondly of her.

There were times you did feel bad, and you actually held her, feeling something warm for the tiny girl.

But then it would all vanish when you saw Jongho hovering over you and fixing what he deemed was your 'bad way of holding her.'

He was still as overprotective as ever and you were reaching your breaking point.

One day, while he was gone for a minute, the baby started crying.

You covered your head with the pillow, trying to muffle out her sounds but you couldn't.

You snapped and had no control over yourself as you went to the bathroom and began filling the tub with water.

Once it was filled, you mindlessly brought the baby over and held her over it, but before you could drop her:

"Y/N what are you doing?!"

Jongho took the baby away from you, calming her down and putting her back in her crib.

When he turned his attention back to you, you were nowhere to be found and he started panicking.

He was walking down the hallway when you lunged at you, finally hitting your breaking point as you stabbed his arm with a knife, that although stunned him, didn't really cause much damage.

"Y/N! Have you gone insane?!" He tried to calm you down, but it was in vain.

You looked at him with such wrath and resentment as you stated "I hate you!"

It hurt Jongho so much to hear you say that, but nonetheless he wasn't going to back down even if you were currently clawing at him and trying to end him.

Jongho tried not to use much of his strength but you were going to far, he had to subdue you somehow and he was already angry that you tried to murder your own child.

His hands ended up griping your neck very harshly, forcing you to let go off him as you now struggled to pry his hands off you.

Jongho didn't mean to take things too far, he just wanted to control you for a brief moment......

But it did go too far and now he was a sobbing and heartbroken mess.

"911, what's your emergency?"

"I just killed my soulmate... ....."

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