#i read wlw as waluh btw

[tiredofthehumanlife]

Hater? I hardly know her

Barbies: Dorlene x you (more so Marlene and you dating and Dorcas lusting from afar)

Word: 1.6k

Summary: Dorcas hates you and your girlfriend but is it actually hatred or just misspelled horniness

Warnings: YOU WEAR A SKIRT AND GREEN LACE UNDERWEAR no genital or gendered pronouns or words used though, you flash a crowd and shake ass, Marlene is Marlene, Dorcas is pissed you guys are so hot, you and Marlene are very comfy with pda, tabletop dancing, broom closet shenanigans, I sleepy I think that's it, definitely not inspired by Lunch by Billie I don't even know where you would get that idea from you're crazy you're acting crazy rn

Dorcas hated you. And your stupid girlfriend, Marlene. At first, she just thought you were both pretty and then she realized how fucking annoying you both were. Was it truly necessary for Marlene to flirt with her during quidditch practice? Did you really have to wink at her every time you made eye contact? Not to mention the fact that you two were so far down each other’s throats all the time she was shocked either of you knew it was day. She hated that you were both so attractive and knew it. You both needed the strongest serving of humbling she has ever prescribed. Dorcas decided that’s exactly what she would do, humble y’all bitch asses.

Every time Marlene flirted, Dorcas insulted her. As harsh as she could. She snarled at you every time you looked at her. However, this seemed to backfire. Her rudeness seemed to make you both like her more. Marlene was even more flirtatious and you tried multiple times to start a conversation with her. She hated the both of you with a strong passion.

You and Marlene picked up on her bad vibes. You both just assumed that you had done something wrong. Your attempts to rectify the problem only seemed to make it worse. Marlene wasn’t a quitter. She decided you all would become friends or more if it was the last thing she did.

With the latest quidditch win under the Slytherin’s belt, Dorcas was excited for the following party. Barty had triple her excitement, he loved parties. The crowd gave him attention, unlike his father, and booze. Barty also liked kissing his boyfriend in the dim lighting. Evan enjoyed parties in the way someone might enjoy baking; it’s nice every once in a while, gets tiresome if frequent, and you get a treat at the end. While he didn’t get a cookie at the end of every party he did get an extra cuddily Barty. Pandora enjoyed them less. They were quite loud and she preferred to stare out the giant glass wall to watch the fish. If Pandora’s enjoyment of parties was in the basement then Regulus’ enjoyment of parties was in hell. He hated them. Too loud, too many people, too much B.O., terrible music, and stupid people became stupider with alcohol. Normally within the first hour Regulus and Pandora had snuck off to the Black Lake, party be damned.

Dorcas was enjoying her time at their party, glad her hard work in practice paid off. She danced with Evan and Barty. There was a massive grin across her face. Until she heard cheers on the other side of the room. Not an odd thing, usually means someone did a fancy trick with their dancing or someone fell, but something about these cheers made her uneasy. Dorcas scanned the crowd, snagging on the two heads over the others. You and fucking Marlene. Dorcas was a hater through and through. As a verified hater, she knows if you want to do it right you have to see your victims’ highest point so you can bully them as it happens.

Dorcas left Barty and Evan, weeding through the crowd. Eventually, she was standing right up against the coffee table you and your girlfriend were dancing on. It was sickening how good you both looked. People shouldn’t be more attractive just because they were standing on a piece of furniture. Marlene was standing behind you, her hands traveling more than they should in such a public space. Your arms were stretched over Marlene’s shoulders, your back pressed to her chest with your head thrown back. One of Marlene’s hands was resting just under your belly button while the other was on the side of your neck. Marlene’s head was turned to your neck. All the while both your hips were moving with the beat.

Your position reminded Dorcas of a vampire and their lover who is also into biting. She snarled at the thought of you both enjoying this. As if she sensed her hatred, Marlene's eyes shot open, meeting Dorcas’ immediately. Dorcas clenched her jaw and tilted her head up. Dorcas saw a flash of Marlene’s grin pressed to your neck before she pulled back. You pulled away from each other, somehow dancing apart was more attractive than together. Dorcas didn’t think much while watching the both of you prance on top of your lofty 16-inch tall coffee table. Well not much other than ‘fuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyou’.

With the new song, you both seemed to regain your lust for one another, meeting each other in the middle of the table. Your hands were grabbing and pulling each other, hitching the hems of clothing up just an inch. Dorcas wasn’t sure which one of you she hated more. Marlene with her band shirt and tight leather shorts. Or you with your stupid short skirt, and shirt that was very shirty. Dorcas was losing her vocabulary that’s how bad your dancing was, defentily wasn’t Marlene’s ass peaking out the bottom of her shorts.

Before Dorcas’ mind could catch each of your movements you were bending over right in front of her. Marlene flicked your skirt up, though it was already very revealing. Marlene leaned foreward and rested her elbows on your back before dropping one hand to sit in front of one elbow while her other hand held up her face. Marlene made a bored face while she shook back and forth from your hip movements. Dorcas wanted to be better than the boys cheering and screaming behind her but your ass was fully in her face. She glanced, not stared, fine she glanced for a long time. Dorcas commited the image to her memory.

You had on green lacey underwear. It made her eye twitch. Even worse, it was a little difficult to see with all the shaking but she noticed a slightly faded hickey to the left, and on the right side avoiding the hem of your underwear was her jersey number. Drawn around it were tiny little hearts that looked eerily similar to the ones she saw Marlene doodle on her page.

Unfortuentually Fortuneally, it ended quickly. Marlene stood up. She slapped your ass. Dorcas noticed how for a split second she squeezed it. You took this less as an offense and more as a signal, standing up and spinning around. You glanced down at Dorcas, winking at her before pulling Marlene in to you. You must've gotten bored with dancing because you jumped off the table. You helped Marlene get off the table before you both dissapeared into the crowd.

Dorcas returned to where she left Barty and Evan, finding them making out next to a wall. Dorcas gripped the back of Barty’s shirt, pulling him back. Barty whined. Dorcas sighed, slipping between the two of them.

“I just got flashed.” Evan groaned.

“Someone I know?” Evan asked. Dorcas shook her head.

“It unfortunately was a little hot.” She muttered, hoping it got drowned out by the music. Barty sloppily patted her shoulder in sympathy.

“The worst kind of flashing,” Barty said, a little too loud in Dorcas’ ear.

With the party slowly dragging on, she started to notice the lack of you and Marlene. Dorcas wanted to judge you vocally to your face how could she do that with you not here? She assumed you both left, maybe flashing a whole crowd was enough for one night. Dorcas watched in disappointment as a rowdy student flung a glass vase at the wall. She sighed as she left the commonroom to get a dustpan, already envisioning someone weilding a shard as a weapon. Dorcas swung the broom closet door open. She froze when she saw you and Marlene.

Marlene had your back pressed against the wall. Her lipstick was smeared across your mouth and neck. Dorcas glanced down. Marlene’s hand was shoved down your green underwear, the fabric bunching around Marelene’s wrist. Dorcas let out a deep sigh, ignoring you both staring at her. She reached around Marlene pulling out the broom and dustpan.

“You can join.” you whispered. Dorcas paused, slowly flickering her eyes to you. She thought about it more than she should’ve. A quiet moment passed before she quickly spoke up.

“Ew, no.”

“You sure? We can go to not a broom closet.” Marlene offered, her hand slowly slipping up to your belly button. Dorcas stared at you both.

“Are you guys serious?” She made a snarl but the more she thought of her jersey number on your right ass cheek and Marlene’s hands traveling on her body the more she started to lose her strength.

“Deadly.”

“No, I’m Marlene.” You smacked Marlene’s shoulder. Dorcas shivered at Marlene’s bad joke.

“You’re absolutely insane if you think I’d ever sleep with you dickheads, I do have a few standards.” Dorcas said, rolling her eyes. Marlene grinned at her. You stared at her with those stupid convincing puppy eyes.

“Would you join if we said pretty please with sugar on top?” Marlene asked. Dorcas reached out and bonked her on the head with the dustpan.

“Pretty please with sugar on top?” You flashed Dorcas your pretty smile that made her give you the answers to a test months ago. Dorcas stared up at the ceiling letting out the groanest groan of all time before meeting eyes with you both again.

“I’ll consider it.” Marlene quickly raised her hand for a high five, your skirt falling back down. You shook your head. Marlene switched hands, and you happily high-fived her.

”Hey Cassy, why did you-“ Barty paused as his head popped over the edge of the door. He looked between you three. You awkwardly waved. Dorcas patted his shoulder, handing him the broom and dustpan.

“We’ll talk. Soon.” Dorcas said, winking at you on her way out the door. She shut it behind herself, pushing Barty back towards the commonroom. Dorcas most definitely did not hear Marlene squeal as she left and she was most definitely not cut out for the hating business.