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haptureratch · 2 years ago

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Bitch, You Need Therapy

Pairing: Johnny Knoxville x Reader (afab)

Others: Chris Pontius, Steve-O

Word count: approx. 4.5k

Synopsis: You’re part of the crew, temporarily filling in and enjoying it immensely. You are filming something overseas. Knoxville finds out you have a crush on him and decides to fuck with your stressed little self until he gets carried away in the moment.

WARNINGS/tags: NC-17, minors DNI, adult language, alcohol (technical lack of consent), soft allusions to hard drugs, oral sex, genital penetration, THE DOUBLE MEANING OF LIPS, kinks galore (praise, rough, petnames, things I don’t have a word for)

Notes from the author: Yeah idk he just seems like a playful bastard that might be hiding a kinky streak. Not tied to any specific period of Jackass filming so reader can take some creative liberties (the least I can do when I am dictating reader’s entire personality lmao). Knoxville is single in this world; it’s all fun & fantasy. This work has not been officially reviewed apart from one of my best friends giving enthusiastic approval early on. But I’ve read over it a hundred times while writing it SO DAMN SLOWLY, so hopefully it is okay. There are purposeful tense changes and I hope they hit the way I'm intending. Is the whole thing cringe? Maybe; maybe not. Pls let loose & enjoy! I am a long time reader and I’ve had ideas here and there; finally decided it was time to fuck around and find out myself. It’s been way harder than I thought and I have even more respect for my fave fic authors out there. If you know me irl, no you don’t. WITHOUT FURTHER ADIEU~~

Night has been falling earlier and earlier as weeks peel away from Autumn toward the year’s end. It is 7 o’clock in the evening but feels more like 11. Outside the darkness is interrupted by numerous streetlamps along the sidewalk. The lights glow a golden orange, reminding you of the crackling fire in the pub, and you dig your hands into your coat pockets seeking warmth.

“HEY ASSHOLE, why did we leave that cozy fucking place?!” you shout over the wind at one of your walking companions with some frustration. Only some. You’ve had a couple drinks and your speech seems to come out in demanding exclamations regardless of any real anger at that point. And you’re fairly certain any frustration stems from unmet desires directed toward this man and his stupid glinty purple-tinted sunglasses. Sunglasses, which he wore inside the intimately lit pub and which he is still wearing outside at night. What a jackass.

A different, unsunglasses’d man answered. “Because adventure calls! Sure, it’s cold out. But not cold enough to get frostbite. The call to adventure must be heeded even in the face of Ice Queen Mother Nature. Like the Russian Police, she’s stern. Stern…but fair,” he announced with omnipotence. Everyone in the group seemed dead set on committing crimes this evening. This one was guilty of venturing out in 20-some degree weather without a coat or sweater or torso cover of any kind. Just a fluffy scarf and a Santa hat. Another jackass, you thought. But that’s why you jumped at the chance to work with these people. It was an invigorating break from the mundane. And the group oozed fun; to be in the same room as any of them was to know friendship and laughter.

You smiled genuinely at him. Despite the cold and questionable decisions, he still inspired affection. “Thanks, as always, Pontius, for the exceptional pep talk but I think I was asking—”

“DUDE WHERE IS MY SKATEBOARD?!?!!” screeched a third man’s voice. He’d definitely had the most to drink out of the group so far this evening and crime was written all over him. Good ol’ Steve-O. Nothing more to be said about him.

Sunglasses finally spoke up. “I decided against anything with wheels for this and threw it in the back of the van, Steve-O. We can come back in the daytime tomorrow for skate shots. There are a lot less lights the farther in the park we go.”

“Knox, you IDIOT, I’m planning on being so fucking hungover tomorrow! I’m on my GAME now, man, you shoulda brought it!” He bent down to gather up two fists of snow, mash them together, and hurl the mass toward Johnny.

“If you want it so bad, go back an’ get it!” He grinned while dodging the poorly aimed snowball and jumped over to rap Steve-O on the ass with the back of his hand. This garnered a slow, deep, huffy giggling from Pontius. It was less of a giggle, more of a devious huh-huh-huh. It sounded like something you’d hear in the boys’ locker room but if it came from the throat of a grown man.

The little spanking sparked a quick scuffle between Steve-O and Johnny. After nearly slipping and falling, he gave up on trying to fuck with the taller man and hardened his resolve to skate in the snow. “UGH! I’ll be back…” After a beat of wily consideration he added, “Or not!” Steve-O then darted off in the direction of the pub, almost slipped again, and slowed his stumbling gait. If he was headed toward booze he was probably going to get another round. A round of…something.

Chris and Johnny shared a look and the Santa-hatted one asked, “Who’s going with him? It’s law that we use the buddy system in all foreign lands, especially when we don’t want to get arrested. More arrested than we get when the cameras are rolling. Those times are okay.”

Johnny spoke first. “I’ll stay to map out where Jeff thinks we can get the money shots. Y/N probably needs to mess with the camera settings.”

“Actually, yeah,” you uttered, reviving from a slight stupor of quiet observation and remembering your role in all of this. “This would be our first night footage of the trip and I haven’t experimented with the exposure or what type of flash I can—”

“Okay nerd on, genius, I’ll go,” Chris interrupted. He smiled and bowed himself out in the direction of Steve-O and the pub.

“Better hurry, Pontius! Something tells me the board ain’t the priority now,” Johnny called out. You watched as the smoke from his breath dissipated into the cold and the two of you continued away from what seemed like the rest of civilization.

********

The other men gone from sight, your physical awareness of Johnny dialed up. Though he was lean, he seemed to exude heat through his black peacoat. Maybe you were imagining things. But you dared to draw a couple inches closer to assess. He slowed his gait and you veered right back over and even sped up a little. You thought you heard a quiet laugh come from his side of the path.

‘Dammit, Y/N, fucking stay focused,’ you thought to yourself. You can’t give them anything to get you on; it was more important to you than any legal trouble. You were here to relieve Lance after one too many trips involving vomit-on-the-camera incidents. You had a job to do, you had creative input to offer, and you didn’t have to let on that you found one of the guys so hot you couldn’t stand it. That fact could be kept firmly TO YOURSELF. The need to keep it a secret almost hyped it up to an obsession. You found yourself stealing photos during planning sessions, when you were 95% certain that no one would notice. Since you were such a dedicated crew member, the team assumed you were experimenting with angles or compiling a look-book or something.

Sure, you took candids of everyone. But the most recurring subject by far was Johnny Knoxville. There were the obvious features that caught your eye, mostly when he laughed, all white teeth and crow’s feet. After a while you noticed how he stood kind of funny, whether that was from past back injuries, weak glutes, or a touch of valgus knee deformity you weren’t sure. It didn’t at all detract from the beauty of those long legs or the defined torso they led up to. Certainly didn’t ruin his painfully (for you) deep iliac furrows smack dab in the middle of it all. And you weren’t going to get started on his arms or shoulders or jawline. He really took your love for anatomy and smacked you upside the head with it. He was art and you were insane.

Your stupid little fangirl crush even had you calling him ‘Johnny Knoxville’ in your head instead of PJ. It was like how you still called your teachers ‘Mr/Ms/Mx’ after graduating from school, even though they gave you permission to be on a first-name basis. It was hard to get comfortable with others like that. Another reason why you wanted this chance at a different work environment even if it was just temporary. You sorely needed to relax, Y/N. Unclench your jaw, take a breath, stop the shoulders from migrating upwards, and just keep walking. Sometimes the set of Jackass was not the ideal setting to work on those goals—all of those damn pranks—but…

“Lost in thought, puddin’?” you heard in your ear. You didn’t so much hear them as felt the words slap your skin from behind, the shock of wet heat in the cold air startling you. The streetlamps brightened in your peripheral vision.

You spun around and couldn’t help the nervous fake-laugh that escaped. “Oh, uh, yeah, you could say that. Just handling a lot of little things right now. Like the jet-lag, that European alcohol hitting a little stronger, the cold being colder here somehow, filming schedule, the list goes on, man." You hoped adding 'man’ would lend the illusion of you being chill, cool, totally not in fight-or-flight mode a moment ago.

It didn’t. There was an awkward silence as he stood facing you. Behind the shades you couldn’t see the mischief in his eyes as he planned out where he was going to take this. To you it just looked like staring. ‘Fucking dammit,’ you swore at yourself, ‘I don’t know if he KNOWS knows but he knows something is up. Agh, focus on work, FOCUS ON WORK.’

You cleared your throat, pulled namaste out of your ass, and shifted the power of the interaction back on your side with, “Hey, why don’t you stand over by that statue and help me with shot composition.”

“Yes, boss, on the double!” His tone was playfully condescending as he headed over to the metal figure, an unknown man outlined in snow. “Anything for you, sweetheart.” He let the last word drag out lower and slower than the rest. You had to fight your dead brain to let you breathe again. He was going to fuck with you, alright, and it was going to happen tonight. But for his own fun, no cameras in sight other than yours. There was always a chance of one of those goofy assholes hiding in a bush, but your gut told you there were none. No one else was going to be around for this, but you weren’t sure how thankful you were. You were flooded with several thoughts at once. How far would he go? How far did you want him to go? Did Jackass have HR? What was their policy on a creator/actor doing unspeakable things to a camera person with his mouth? Could the van be moved for about 90 minutes tonight without anyone knowing? Was he all dom or a switch? How easy would it be to get him to giggle during a blowjob?

Fuck. Focus.

‘FUCK,’ you thought as, for some ungodly reason, Knox put his tongue to the statue’s ear. The side of your neck began to tingle where his breath had been several minutes ago; memory is a powerful thing. You shook your head to regroup.

“Better pray you don’t end up like that kid in A Christmas Story,” you deadpanned.

He looked away and called out toward the woods at the edge of the park, “Nah, I’m too wet for that. That…that’s the secret.” You saw his back shuddering slightly, probably with laughter, and tried to see deeper into the trees. Not a soul was detected.

“You’ll be wetter when that statue comes to life and throws you in the river.”

He turned back toward you. “Naw, I think he likes it,” he grinned as wedged his body even closer to the metal and began to run a hand slowly down its torso. For the first time he made eye contact with you over his glasses and you dared not break it while his hand migrated further and further south. “And I think he’s not the only one, darlin’,” he drawled, his tone growing deeper and darker by the second. Two fingers began to lazily graze between the statue’s legs. And, as if that wasn’t enough, his hips ground into what had to be extremely cold and extremely hard metal. He let out a low sigh into the winter air.

This probably lasted just a moment but it felt like an eternity as you stood watching him, unable to do anything else, not quite believing what you were seeing. Your eyes were glued to where you thought his dick was, where you thought you saw an outline begin to show. He kept at it, grinding and sighing and caressing against that fucking statue, only averting his gaze to let his eyes roll back into his head and flutter shut. Which he made sure you could see with the shades slid all the way down the bridge of his nose. The whole thing was insane but you could not stop the cascade of heat and desire from building inside you. It’s like the more it shouldn’t be happening, the more you were into it. You wanted to look around and check for the crew for the umpteenth time but couldn’t tear your eyes from him. Johnny Knoxville was getting freaky on a statue to tease you and you were simmering in your own juices.

Like.

What the actual fuck?

Okay, case closed, he definitely knew.

Uhh… Just try to own it now?

“You know what, you whore?! It’s gonna be really fucking awkward when my underwear freezes out here!”

He finally broke, fell away from the statue, and dissolved into laughter on the ground. You hoped your boldness would recuperate a bit of your cred and he’d back off. (You hoped he wouldn’t back off.)

“The working conditions, here, honestly…” you said as your hands came to your hips.

His maniacal glee, normally adorable when it wasn’t tied up in such a stressful and sexy situation, died out and he regained upright footing. He didn’t bother to brush the snow off his coat or shake out what had peppered his hair. He took off his sunglasses and folded them into the inner pocket of his coat. He smiled down at you and you felt him gently grab your shoulders. “You’re so wound up, Y/N,” he remarked with genuine care in his voice.

The touch and proximity made you stiffen; your arms dropped to your sides. His breath smelled like booze and you wanted to drown in it.

His fingers laced together behind your shoulders and slid down to rest at the small of your back; you instinctively grabbed at his forearms. “Gotta learn how to relax, baby.” He jerked your lower half into him and you could feel that you had not, in fact, been imagining that dick. With that, you felt the last of your good sense rocket away, leaving a long-imprisoned whine in its wake.

He dipped his head down to your ear and growled, “How loud does that kitty purr?”

No words.

No thoughts.

Your head threatened to crack off of your spine but he caught the back of it with one hand, the other snaked firmly around the rest of you, as his lips made contact with your neck. Soft kisses were syncopated with nibbles, the heat of his mouth searing your skin in contrast to the chilly air. His tongue was so wet and so warm against your flesh. You all but dripped for him.

“Van,” you demand.

He takes your hand, grins, and leads you out of the park toward the town.

The two of you make it to the van and he takes space in the driver’s seat. The engine comes to life relatively quietly—thank god for hybrids—and he maneuvers it onto a darkened side street several blocks down. You seem to be surrounded by a bunch of businesses closed down for the night but you also don’t have a single fuck to give now. You slide a hand over the rod in his pants and his lips part with a groan.

Hunger takes hold and you lunge over the console to catch his mouth in a voracious kiss. Tongue and teeth everywhere. Even the smallest hints of pleasure out of this man are going to drive you wild tonight. But you want—you NEED—to savor the experience. The movements of your jaw slow and the space between your lips closes as you center yourself. His lips come together but his breath continues hard and deep through his nose. His eyes are shut tight as if he's exercising control as well. You pepper kisses across his cheek, down his neck, and back up to his ear where you sigh your contentment.

“Mmm, sweetheart, I’m gonna need to hear more of that,” he says low in your ear. Your belly flutters up into your chest and you think you might fall in love, like an idiot.

He kisses you deeply and pulls you with him into the back of the van. The heat of the exchange melts off both your coats. A sleeping bag is found, unzipped, and laid down. Not that the two of you notice the cold all that much, it just seems like the right thing to do in a van that carts around the Jackass crew. He is a bit more discerning than some of his co-stars.

He unzips your pants and slides them down your legs. You sit up to help kick them off along with your shoes. He takes off your shirt, leaving you just in your bra, socks, and panties. You love how exposed you must look and how vulnerable you feel. He looks you in the eye, smirks, looks down at your hips, licks his lips. Your thighs squeeze together with anticipation and your moan spells out your need.

He lowers himself down, still clothed, onto your nearly naked body and lays his lips all over your skin. He slides across you lazily and you can’t stand how good his clothes feel against you. You can’t wait for that dick to be out and in your mouth. It’s how you want to show him how good he’s making you feel. The way he takes the fabric of your panties in his fingertips tells you he has his own priorities.

“May I?”

“May you what?”

He smiles and toys with the bows stitched to the elastic around your hips. He takes the band in his teeth and looks you in the eye as he lets it snap against you.

“Eat out that pretty pussy of yours, doll. It’s all wrapped up for me like a present under the tree.”

You’re not able to make a joke about stealing Chris’s Santa hat. You can only reach down and start to wiggle the remaining cotton off, with which Knox happily helps. The bra and socks follow suit and a cheeky kiss to your foot garners a giggle.

Things get very serious again when he positions his face in front of your heat. He hugs your hips to him and rests his large hands down on you. You can’t help but buck up into the contact when his lips meet yours. His soft, wet tongue feels so fucking good. Your hands find his hair and you rake your nails through it. Every time you look down he’s either got his eyes closed, lids fluttering in the prettiest way, or he’s looking right back at you. Each moan from your mouth elicits self-assured hums from his and it drives you to desperately need more.

“Need you in me, Knox,” you demand.

He looks up at you again with those deep brown eyes and doesn’t say a word.

“Want you in my mouth first. I want to taste that dick.”

He pulls himself up and you all but tear the black and white KNOXVILLE belt through the loops of his Dickies. He frees his hard cock and you pause to take it in with your eyes first.

“It may not be the biggest but right now you got me harder than—aaughh..” The whole rest of him stiffens up and he bites into his knuckles as you take in the tip. He relaxes with a deep sigh as you try to swallow the shaft down and gag when your lips meet his hilt.

‘That’ll do just fine,’ you think to yourself.

You keep it slow to draw it out, slow but deliberate with licking and sucking. You work his cock with your mouth until you lose yourself in the act. You love every single sound this man is making and commit them to memory. And his taste, how the pre-cum doesn’t stop oozing. The way his head is thrown back with his mouth wide open, gasping. How he can’t touch you enough right now. Every few moments you turn your attention to his balls and thighs and that delicious V leading down to it all. The feel and scent of his skin is intoxicating and you’re biting light marks into his flesh. You get so far gone you stop murmuring his name and start to call him Daddy. His cock twitches every time.

He takes a deep, clarifying breath before taking your chin in his hand and speaking, “I’m so ready to slide right in, baby. Will you let Daddy fill you up?”

“Fuck me.”

The van space is tight but you lie down and he holds himself over you, cock at your entrance. You’re practically vibrating with anticipation.

Finally.

He drives the head of his cock slowly into your pussy and the feeling is so warm and sweet and intimate. Birth control be damned; you’ll get emergency contraception in the morning. Your arms and legs wrap around him possessively as he works into a rhythm. You rock your hips with his to catch his cock at the right angle. He finds your mouth in the dark and moans into you as he thrusts. He’s downright fucking you into the floor of the van and strangely you haven’t felt this whole and alive in a long time. Your orgasm is building and building but you want even more of him before you come.

“I wanna ride you, Johnny,” you gasp.

“Thought you’d never ask. Be my guest, doll,” he answers as he pulls out of you and arranges the sleeping bag across the van’s bench. He takes a seat and slaps his thighs with a grin, erection bobbing around invitingly.

You climb on top of him, legs quivering with eagerness, and take just a moment to pause before sinking slowly down onto his cock.

His answering groan draws you against his chest, sighing into him, as you get to work riding. It’s your turn to fuck him into the van.

You both wrap your arms around each other, but no one can get close enough. Thrusting, humping, clawing, kissing, biting, sucking, moaning—the two of you going at each other like animals. (His glutes are NOT, in fact, weak.) Your legs are tiring but you push yourself to keep going. Closer and closer your end nears. He knows it because his teeth are clenching as your pussy is tightening around him. He’s fighting to not cum before you.

“Don’t stop, baby, don’t stop. Keep on riding me. Keep grinding that sweet little thing on my cock.”

You pick up speed.

“Come for me, sweetheart.”

He squeezes your ass tighter.

“Good girl, I can feel it. Come for Daddy…”

That’s it. Your cunt squeezes up inside of you and smashes down around his dick in a primal, undulating frenzy. There’s an explosion of stars behind your eyelids. He’s yelling out your name and digging his fingers deeper into your hips as his orgasm spills hot inside you.

********

After unmeasured moments, breaths began to slow and a contented stillness fell over the van like snow upon the ground. The two of you wrapped each other up in an embrace and held on tight without a word. It wasn’t much longer until your brain woke back up and began to wander. You knew you were going to think back on this night many, many times when you were back home alone. You’d feel the ghost of his breath and his lips on your skin. You’d ache to hear him moan your name again. AND, FUCK, THE PLAN B--

Gentle laughter broke out, as if he could read your mind. He couldn’t, of course. But it was so very easy to tell when you were uneasy. And Knox was an excellent people reader.

“Just don’t think about anything right now, sweetheart,” he assured you.

“Johnny, I…” You began and trailed off, unsure of what to voice first.

“Call me PJ,” he smiled and placed a kiss on your head. “And don’t you worry about a thing. I’ll stop by a pharmacy soon as they open. The guys are gonna need some Tylenol, too, I bet. I’ll get us all sorted.” And he sealed his promise shut with a squeeze of your shoulders. Not a mind reader, but definitely thoughtful and at times very practical. Always aware of what’s going on around him.

You trusted him. Probably more than you should, but you did. And you gave whatever energy you had left over to the effort of not thinking. You had no idea how long it had been since you checked the time, when the sun was coming up, or what the two of you would do next. What this would mean for the rest of the shoot. But, if you’re gonna be dumb….

----------------------------------------------------------------

Several hours post-coupling in the van, after the sun came out for vengeance, you found yourself hanging with Pontius at a near-by café. You felt calmest around him out of all the crew and were happy to listen to his stories for distraction. Distraction from your anxiety and the various aches in your body. What you had really wanted was a diner that served greasy food and heinously strong coffee, but they didn’t have those here. Chris must share the need. He was still sporting the Santa hat and some serious bags under his eyes. There was what appeared to be lipstick smeared down his neck, but it was…stippled? From…the only idea that came to mind was another man’s stubble. But he never asked about the way you weren’t walking right, so you paid the favor forward.

His words drifted away from big cats and other wildlife, and he shifted conversation topics. “Crazy night last night, huh,” he said.

“Lord. You bet,” you answered. Oh, here we go.

“What time did you turn in last night? Or this morning?” He batted his lashes and played with the cotton puff at the end of his hat before flipping it to the other side. It invoked the atmosphere of girlies at a sleepover sharing the latest gossip.

“Oh, you know…” Your face reddened a little and you looked down into your steaming coffee mug.

He brought his up to his mouth for a sip and stared you down over it. “Do you happen to know where—"

Your phone buzzed in your back pocket and you pulled it out automatically.

“Hey, doll, where did you run off to?” Your heartbeat quickened and you smirked despite yourself. You didn’t need to look up at the sender to know who it was from.

“Know where what,” you offered with no doubt a dazed look in your eyes.

You were definitely going to need a therapist after this job was through.

#johnny knoxville x reader #afab reader #jackass fanfic #jackass smut #johnny knoxville fanfic #dude tumblr WILL NOT let me use the formatting that i want wtf

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blog-name-idk · 2 years ago

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Mold a Pretty Lie | 04

Banner by @persphonesorchid <3

Pairing: professor!Jin x Fem undergrad!Reader

Genre: College!AU, Unhealthy relationships, toxic relationships, virgin reader, eventual yandere, eventual smut

Summary: They say love is like a garden that requires regular care and attention. Kim Seokjin, your kind and handsome professor, is more than happy to cultivate the vines that bind his heart to yours.

Word Count: 4,358

Rating: 18+

Warnings: Kissing, non-consensual kissing/assault, sneaker destruction

AN: A huge thanks to @eserethriddle for beta-ing this chapter for me. Also check their fics out, they're amazing. Hope y'all enjoy!

~~~~~

In the weeks that followed, there were no more incidents where you nodded off in Dr. Kim's class. You made sure of it. Your professor didn't mention it again, other than leaving a blue Powerade on your desk the next time you met him to work on your research project. It was objectively the best flavor, and you did your best not to read too much into his thoughtfulness.

However, your best wasn't good enough, and each one of his smiles and silly jokes added another bud to the flowers blooming in your chest.

You craved when he'd lean in close enough for your imagination to go wild, the way he would rest a distracting hand on your shoulder when he reviewed your work, the sparkle in his eyes when he was pleased. You didn't go chasing after more contact than that, but you did find yourself lingering longer than your allotted hours, chatting to your energetic professor about this or that.

At first you had been reticent, wary of taking up too much of his time, or god forbid, coming across like some of the students who stalked his office hours. But he was often the one to engage you, to ask about how your semester was going outside of his class. It was hard to believe he cared, but his face lit up in genuine interest when you spoke, and it was hard not to bask in the warm glow of his approval.

Why were you such an idiot? You were smitten, daydreaming about a man there was no hope of ever attaining. You knew it was a waste of time to keep pining after him the way you were, but how exactly could you prevent your stomach from flipping upside down with each smile?

You

Help

Phoebe

What's wrong, my pretty tulip?

You winced at the nickname, a joke at your expense Phoebe had "hilariously" come up with in high school. Because you were a virgin in both sets of lips. It was fucking weird and gross and she never let it go despite the fact that you hated it.

You

I have a stupid crush on someone I have objectively zero chance with

Phoebe

Oh????

Pix!!!

You

Lol

Yeah, no

Phoebe

Name!!!

You

Yeah, no

You were NOT going to open yourself to ridicule from your best friend by admitting you had enough of a crush on a professor for it to be a problem. That was just asking for her to make fun of you. If she kept pressing, you'd send her a picture of Jimin or Taehyung or something, but not if you could avoid it.

Phoebe

You're so boring

This is why it's unrequited

You

Omg rude

Phoebe

Lol you know I'm joking

Well you know what they say

You

If you say "the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else" I'm blocking you for being cliche as fuck

Phoebe

It's a cliche for a reason babe

It's not like you're in love with the guy right?

You just need a distraction that'll help redirect your thinking

Just start flirting with a new cutie, works for me every time

You

I guess that makes sense…

Wouldn't that be like, kinda rude to the other person though?

Phoebe

I said flirt not propose to lmao

And not just a rando, someone you actually could like

How are you of all people trying to question me, hmm little tulip?

You

Ugh yeah yeah fine whatever

… Thank you for the advice

Phoebe

Anytime

Miss you babe <3

You

Miss you too <3

You stared at your phone for a moment, lost in thought as you considered your friend's words. You could kind of see where she was coming from - you were probably just infatuated with your professor because you saw and interacted with him multiple times a week, and your wishful brain mistook his kindness for some sort of preference. Dr. Kim was so wonderful that it was just normal human nature for you to become enamored - maybe if you reframed your mindset and let yourself get swept up with someone else, your silly crush would fade.

"Sierra?" you asked one weekend, wondering if you had soured her desire to party with you. She hadn't tried to cajole you out since that not-so-fateful night, and you never asked why in the fear that you would hear that she now hated you. Your roommate perked up and looked at you from her bed, where she was laying on her back and scrolling through her phone. "What are you doing tonight?"

"Haven't decided yet, what's up?" she replied curiously. She didn't look apprehensive at your question, so that was probably a good sign.

"I just - I thought it might be fun to go out or something…" you said tentatively, studying her face for any flashes of annoyance. Instead, her eyes lit up.

"Really?" Sierra asked excitedly, sitting upright on her mattress. "I didn't put you off partying with me?"

"Really, I - wait what do you mean? I blacked out and spent half the night throwing up."

Her words made no sense, why would you not want to hang out with her anymore? Instead of rolling her eyes and agreeing with your assessment the way Phoebe might have, she laughed.

"I guess that means you don't remember when I tried to hug you and then threw up on your shoes instead."

"I thought that was my vomit," you exclaimed. "And I thought you were annoyed with me, and that's why we never went out again."

"I thought you didn't want to hang out with me!"

The two of you stared at each other for a moment before bursting into laughter.

"We're idiots," she said through giggles, looking just as relieved as you felt. "Alright, let's party tonight! Maybe minus the puking."

You laughed at her addendum, nodding in agreement. "I can work with that."

~~~~~

You weren't exactly sure how you had ended up here, shut in a bedroom with Sierra and a group of other strangers. The two of you were on the far side of tipsy, but nowhere near as drunk as you had been the last time. And now you were staring at the bottle some guy - Chad? Brad? - was holding up.

"Spin the bottle? Seriously?" scoffed Sierra, crossing her arms. You were inclined to agree - sure, people were inclined to play horny drinking games, but you didn't think anyone played spin the bottle specifically out of middle school, or bad teenage sitcoms. At least with Truth or Dare or Never Have I Ever, you sort of learned about the people around you.

Plus you could definitely say that you weren't particularly interested in locking lips with anyone in this room.

"Yeah, it was nice to meet you all but I think I'm gonna go back to the party," you said as diplomatically as you could.

"What, too much of a prude?" ChadBrad asked with a smirk, and you fought the urge to roll your eyes. He was attractive, sure, but arrogance clung to his shoulders like a bad smell and you were not into it.

"No, I just have standards," you retorted loftily, getting up from the floor and heading to the door. "I'm seeing too many frogs, and not enough princes."

Sierra laughed gleefully at ChadBrad's startled expression and followed you.

"Sorry buddy, no amount of Smirnoff Ice in your mini-fridge is gonna get either of us to hook up with you," she added, and the guy scowled as the others in the room began to snicker.

The closing door cut off the sound and the two of you giggled as you walked back to the main party.

"Dang girl, I thought you were this meek little mouse, but that was hilarious," Sierra said with a grin, making you laugh. You were so caught up in talking to your friend that you forgot to watch where you were going, and ended up colliding with a warm, solid body. The warmth was offset by a cold trickle down your shirt and you jumped back, realizing you had made whoever it was spill their drink.

"I'm so sorry, I - Tae?"

Your friend stood before you, eyes wide, hair tousled, wearing a loose white button-up that made him look like a medieval farmhand a heroine would run away with.

"[Y/n]?" he asked, surprise etched on his face as his eyes roved down your figure. Sierra had convinced you to wear another crop top, and you fought the urge to cover your stomach as his gaze fell on your bare skin.

"Now here's a prince," Sierra whispered in your ear, making heat rise up your neck as you realized what she was getting at. "Hey Tae. I'm gonna get a drink, you need a new one?"

He jumped as if surprised she was there, and she snorted as if unsurprised.

"That would be great, thanks Sierra."

She nudged you as she left.

"Get it, girl," she whispered in your ear wickedly, making you cough and splutter before she slapped your ass and left, cackling. God, your roommate was a menace.

"I didn't expect to see you here," Taehyung said with a smile, and you had to smile back, a little hypnotized by the stars in his eyes. He really was beautiful.

"I thought it was time to give partying another shot," you replied sheepishly, still a little embarrassed by how your previous night out had ended.

"I'm glad," he said softly, something in his eyes making your stomach flutter. "Sorry for spilling on you."

You had actually forgotten, but now that he brought it up you were all too aware of the stain on your shirt and the stickiness of beer on your skin.

"It's my fault, I wasn't looking where I was going," you assured him.

"Let me help you get cleaned up at least," he offered, grabbing your hand before you could protest and setting off to find a bathroom. Your fingers slotted perfectly into his, and he tugged you easily through the crowd. Phoebe's advice rang clear in your mind, but you silenced it as you followed. You were certainly attracted to Taehyung, but he was way out of your league… right?

He found a bathroom and ushered you inside, shutting the door behind him. It dulled the sound of merrymaking outside, and the sudden intimacy brought another slew of jittery panic into your chest. One that was clearly only one sided as Taehyung glanced around before finding a roll of paper towels.

He ripped off a sheet, running it under the faucet before handing it to you.

"Unless you want my help," he said with a wink, waggling his eyebrows. You laughed and slapped his shoulder before accepting his offering, too intent on cleaning yourself to notice the way his eyes watched you hungrily. You dabbed at the shirt as well, before deciding it was a lost cause and that the beer would probably come out in the wash.

"Thanks, Tae," you said with a smile, tossing the crumpled cloth in the trash and looking up to suddenly find him right in front of you. He was close enough that you had to look up to meet his eyes, and you stepped backwards with a surprised "eep" when your back hit the sink counter.

"How much have you had to drink tonight?" he asked intently, not moving from where he was standing. You were suddenly all too aware of your exposed skin, of how gorgeous he looked, of how his dark, mesmerizing eyes were locked on your own.

"N-not very much, we just got here a little while ago," you stammered, staring back at him as your pulse sped up. His lips curved into a devastating smirk and he stepped forward, closing the scant distance between your bodies.

"Good, then I can finally do this," he murmured, one warm, gentle hand coming up to cup your cheek as you felt your eyes go as wide as saucers. Then he was leaning in, and those plush lips of his were coming closer, and closer.

They were warm and soft, and you felt your eyelashes flutter shut as you leaned into the feeling. He backed away almost immediately, and your stomach dropped. Was he disappointed? Were you a bad kisser? But it had only lasted a couple seconds, were people really able to tell that quickly?

"Was that okay?" he whispered, cutting through your panic. He was gazing at you with an uncertainty that mirrored your own, and your heart sang with the realization that he was nervous. You felt your own lips twitch into a smile and you nodded, reaching up to wrap your arms around his neck.

"Yeah," you whispered, standing up on your tippy-toes and tilting your face up in an open invitation.

This time, the kiss was less tentative, and Taehyung's free arm snaked around your waist to pull you snugly into him. You gasped at the press of his warm, warm body against yours, and he took the opportunity to pull your lower lip between his teeth, nibbling slightly. Oh. That was… very pleasant.

"You're so pretty," Taehyung murmured, pulling away. You almost asked why he stopped, until his lips dragged across your jaw to press light, fluttery kisses against your skin that left hot embers in their wake. The new sensation made you whimper, and he froze as his grip on your waist tightened. Fuck, were you not supposed to do that? It was getting hard to think straight when he was holding you so close, whispering sweet words in your ear.

Then he latched onto the sensitive skin of your neck and he sucked, sending white hot shudders down your spine. A moan left your mouth before you could stop it, and Taehyung groaned before capturing your mouth again.

He took advantage of your parted lips to glide his tongue against yours, and another mortifying sound escaped your throat at the sensation. It was wet, hot, and slimy, and should have felt gross, but instead you found yourself clinging to his shirt as your legs turned to jelly.

"Fuck, you sound so good," Taehyung groaned, shifting from your mouth to run his tongue along the shell of your ear.

"T-Taehyung," you gasped breathily, not exactly wanting to stop but worried about him taking this further. His hands slid down to your butt to press your hips against his, and with a jolt you realized he was hard against your thigh. He felt your body stiffen, and immediately pulled back.

"Sorry, too much?" he asked, his voice a husky rasp.

"A little," you admitted, swallowing down the desire to find out what else he had to offer. As much as you were enjoying yourself, you were already starting to feel a little overwhelmed. And the way Taehyung was currently looking at you made you want to both kiss him forever and run away and hide. "Maybe we should get back to the party."

"I'm sorry," he said again, looking away. "I've wanted to do that forever, I got a little carried away."

Something warm glowed in your chest at his words, and impulsively you grabbed his shirt to pull him in for another kiss. The dazed way he grinned at you when you let him go was more than enough to bolster your confidence, and this time you were the one who intertwined your fingers with his.

"Let's go find Sierra."

Finding your roommate ended up being more difficult than you'd thought, and Taehyung reluctantly agreed that it would be easier for you two to split up to find her.

"Don't forget about me while you're gone," he said with a pout, brushing his lips against the knuckles of your hand before finally letting go. You watched him leave, stomach positively giddy with butterflies, before you turned around as well. A clammy hand gripped your wrist roughly, and you jumped, whirling to face the culprit.

"Saw you leave the bathroom with that guy," came the obnoxious, unwelcome voice of ChadBrad. He smirked at your frown, ignoring the way you tried to shake off his hand. What was he doing? Why was he looking at you like that?

"It's not really any of your business, is it?" you replied coldly, but to your alarm he just looked even more smug. His grip tightened, and you felt anxiety rise like bile in the back of your throat.

"So you're the type that likes to play hard to get, is it? I like that," he said with a leering grin, stepping into your personal space. You backed away as far as you could with your arm still captive, and gave him your best glare before scanning behind him to see if Taehyung was still around.

Please let him still be here, you begged silently. To no avail. You were alone, and no one else in the room was even looking in your direction. And the music was so loud you doubted even a scream would catch anyone's attention.

"Let go," you ordered through gritted teeth, trying to sound more confident than you felt. He merely matched each step you tried to take away from him, and when your back hit the wall you realized you were trapped.

"Trusting your safety to two college boys you don't know very well… well, I'm glad the night ended alright, but it would break my heart if anything happened to you."

Your professor's words echoed in your head as you tried to think of a way out of this situation, wishing you had listened better to his advice.

"Good girls say please," ChadBrad taunted, caging you between his arms. "But you're a bad girl, huh?"

Fucking ew. Despite the obvious disgust on your face, he still seemed to think it was going well, and you caught a whiff of gross beer breath before his clammy lips were on yours.

It was revolting, and you felt your skin crawl as you tried to push him off frantically. You kept your lips sealed tightly shut against the nauseating prod of his tongue, but the asshole wouldn't fucking move. Your heart was pounding for completely different reasons than with Taehyung, and it was getting harder to breathe through your nose as you pushed and pushed to no avail. Finally, you did the only thing you could think of, and kneed him as hard as you could between his legs.

That worked, and he leaped away with a yelp.

"What the fuck, you bitch," he spat at you, doubling over as you scrambled away from him, massaging your wrist and breathing hard. You could breathe through your mouth now, why didn't it feel like you were getting any air?

You didn't bother to gift him with a response, too focused on getting the fuck away for something as trivial as a final word. You stumbled through the house, desperate for Sierra or Taehyung or fucking anyone familiar at this point.

To your relief, you spotted a familiar head of hair near the kitchen and almost tackled Sierra in your haste to get to her.

"Whoa there, cowboy!" she said with a giggle as she righted herself, though her smile slid off when she saw your expression. "What's wrong?"

Your heart settled at her reassuring face, and as the adrenaline ebbed away you suddenly felt a lump in your throat. You opened your mouth to respond, then closed it when you realized frustration and anxiety were welling up behind your eyes.

You swallowed and took a deep breath, but all you could do was sniffle to try to keep back the disgusting feeling clawing your throat. Sierra's eyes widened and she wrapped a protective arm around you. You obeyed blindly as she steered you through the throngs of people, focused solely on not freaking out in front of a huge audience.

"Babe, talk to me, what happened?"

With a start you realized you were on the lawn outside and looking into Sierra's warm, worried brown eyes.

"I - that guy - "

To your utter mortification, that was all you got out before the tears came in earnest. Your face was immediately pressed into a perfumed, ample chest as your roommate hugged you and rubbed soothing circles into your back.

"It's okay, you're okay. Just take your time," Sierra said comfortingly as you whimpered and hiccuped into her shirt. Fuck, why were you crying so much? Nothing bad had really even happened, you were fine! Why were you being such a crybaby? First Dr. Kim, now here?

Finally, you calmed down enough to tell Sierra what happened, and her expression went from concerned to livid.

"And where the fuck was Taehyung?" she asked calmly, making your eyes widen. Her voice was even, but her eyes flashed with what could only be described as castrative fury.

"We only split up for a second to look for you!" you explained hastily, and suddenly you were the one rubbing soothing circles into her back. "We were gonna meet back up in the kitchen."

Sierra relaxed slightly, but tension still thrummed under her skin. You wracked your brain for something to calm her down, but crying had made your head irritatingly foggy.

"Oh hey, you found her!"

You both looked to see Taehyung smiling, though it faded when he saw the anger on Sierra's face and the tear stains on yours. He took a step forward, only to stop immediately when Sierra stepped in front of you. Despite it being unnecessary, you felt a surge of affection for your roommate.

"What happened?" he asked softly as Sierra crossed her arms and tapped her foot at him, clearly unimpressed.

"Some asshole assaulted her, that's what happened," she snapped, her words cracking through the air like a whip. You winced and tugged at her arm.

Taehyung's eyes went wide with shock and he looked at you with worry.

"I'm so sorry, [y/n], did I - " he began, looking horrified and guilty. You realized he thought Sierra was talking about himself, and you shook your head frantically.

"No! It wasn't you!" you protested immediately, stepping past Sierra's protection to grab Taehyung's hand. "It was someone else." He only looked mildly relieved, and his eyes were still filled with concern.

"I shouldn't have left you alone," he said quietly, rubbing his thumb over your knuckles. Embarrassment threatened to drag you under and you winced. It wasn't his fault at all. You were just the one who was so pathetic that you apparently couldn't handle five minutes alone, and then cried like an idiot even though you weren't even hurt.

You felt Sierra's hand on your shoulder, and you looked at her questioningly.

"Will you be okay with him for a second?" she whispered in your ear, so quietly you knew Taehyung wouldn't catch it. "I forgot something inside."

You nodded, giving her a wobbly smile you hoped was reassuring. Apparently it was good enough, though she shot Taehyung a very stern glare.

"Behave, I know where you live," she said with deadly seriousness. The tension was broken by your chuckle, and both of your friends relaxed a hair. "Okay, I'll be right back."

The two of you were left alone, and suddenly you found yourself unable to look at anything but your feet.

"I'm s-sorry," you hiccuped, sniffing as you tried to keep a fresh wave of tears at bay. You hated yourself for crying so easily. You swiped at your cheeks and remembered the way Dr. Kim had dabbed your face so gently in his office. You should have listened to him. "I ruined another night out for you guys."

"What are you talking about?" asked Taehyung gently, squeezing your hand. "I always have a great time with you."

You shook your head in disbelief, still not able to meet his eyes. He was sweet to try to make you feel better, but you couldn't find it in yourself to believe him. Had it really been just a few minutes ago that you had been giddily thinking about his lips against yours?

"Hey."

Taehyung put his forehead against yours, but you didn't look up to face him. You couldn't.

"Getting to kiss you already made this the best night of the year so far," he murmured in your ear, and you wanted to believe him despite yourself. He pulled you into his chest and you took a deep breath, letting the warm, spicy smell of his cologne wash over you. "And getting to spend time with you out here makes it even better."

"Even though I'm being a buzzkill?" you asked hesitantly, voice muffled as you timidly wrapped your arms around his waist.

"Nothing can kill my buzz unless it's Jimin having a hair meltdown," Taehyung announced confidently, and you found yourself smiling into his chest.

"Thanks, Tae," you whispered, finally tilting your face up to look at him properly. He grinned happily back at you, squeezing you tight.

"There you are!" he exclaimed goofily, then shocked you into laughter by tickling your exposed sides.

"Don't do that, you jerk!" you scolded, swatting at his hands before he could get more than a few giggles out of you. He smiled and put his hands up in surrender and opened his mouth to say something, when rapid footfalls distracted you.

"Let's go!" said Sierra urgently, grabbing both you and Taehyung's hands and dragging you stumbling behind her.

"W-what?" you spluttered, suddenly very grateful the two of you had worn sneakers to this party. Why the hell was Sierra walking so fast?

"I poured all the Smirnoff Ices into that dipshit’s sneaker collection," your roommate revealed, turning back to you with a devious grin. Her eyes were alight with tipsy misbehavior and justice. "I want to be well clear before he finds out."

Sierra's admission startled a snort of laughter out of you, and Taehyung looked at her in outright awe. Perhaps this night hadn't ended so badly, after all.

Still, you decided you'd heed your professor's advice and steer clear of parties in the future.

~~~~~

Next | Masterlist

Tags: @moonleeai @random-and-out-of-context @amenjiminsan @innebulae @lonewolfsinclair @seoqity @lilacdreams-00 @chowb @shescharlie @mazmaz30 @definetlythinkimanalien @seokjins-luigi @lucci-girl @xicanacorpse @bighitbabie @8loominghell @jung-nika-hoseok @staradorned @zealouslightcookiebasketball @kissme-ornot

#bts imagines #bts fanfiction #bts fanfic #bts jin #bts x reader #bts x you #kim seokjin x reader #bts x y/n #jin x reader #bts yandere #yandere seokjin

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straykats · 1 year ago

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I did a whole album review again may I… pass it across the table to you 👀👏🏼 (aka can we exchange thoughts)

hehe hi izzy here is my lil review (that isnt much of a review and more a reaction/commentary thingy, as all my stuff always is HAHA) BUT !! imma read ur review now and kinda make comments in relation to yours? like a really bad one way email discussion hm AHAHA i avoided reading ur review until i did mine so i don't go into the album with other thoughts (although??? i've listened to all the songs on the album at least once before doing the 'review' so?? idk man HAHA) anyways relistening to the album as i read through yours/reply below HAHA sorry to make this kind of a two-part thing heh (with the review post and then this as well) (dont feel pressured to read both 😭😭)

hall of fame // i agree, it's such a good intro to the album with it's message // yeah the bass is so COOL AND OMGOMG YOUR SCI-FI COMMENT RIGHTTTTTTT RIGHHHHHHHHHTTTTTT i thought i was a weirdo for comenting on the alien-esque sounds (thats what i called that recurring riff in the background AHHA)

s-class// your comment about it showing a bit of everything? so true.

item // yes @ having changbin and lix do the 'item' lines // omg i didnt mention this in my post but i love the vocal pre-chorus thing // oh!! you mentioned the mix of happy and aggressive and it reminds me of one of my first thoughts on the song: okay hear me out idk how to explain this but i feel like if anyone can get me its you HAHAHA so this song gives me like. hacker vibes. BUT LIKE but like the happy go-lucky hacker that acts kinda childish and takes risks and is really. tricksy. like they hack in a way that annoys people and they leave little messages on their targets screen or smth idk man HAHA but like on this relisten of the song and ur mention of the aggressiveness, i'm seeing less of an individual and more of a group? like, a.. rebel kinda group but not rebel. i forgot the word. but like you have ur happy go lucky hacker, you have ur aggressive gunsmen or weaponsmaster and your sniper and the cool leader that always smirks (like think kuroo tetsurou but the Cool part of him not the annoying or dorky part HAHAHAHAH i miss him <//3) and like this song gives me a SUPER specific vibe that i want to write as a fic ARGH

super bowl // yeah i love the chanting/group lines !! it kind of really fits the vibe of this song? cant explain it properly. but haha i applaud u for loving the whispers w headphones; im gently cringeing JNVDJSKNVJDSK HAAHAHA

topline // this song would be so funny at concerts bc everyone will say fuck and then chan will have another meltdown // YES the transition to jisung's verse from tiger jk's is so uGH AND THEN TO HYUNJIN THAT WAS SO SMOOOOOTH // yes this is such a concert song i just hope its one of the songs where they can run around the stage freely bc for the final chorus i can see them hyping up the crowd w them and it would be so fun

get lit // YES THE LIL TRILL THING AFTER 'dance like crazy' right theyre so fun theyre so nice they're so--- wait i though i was typing in caps this whole time (i was reading ur comments while typing and just looked over LMAO) im having so much fun w that part on the piano. its stressing me a little but in a really good way like its so fun // really interesting (that sounds really rude/like online forced politeness and i dont mean it that way okay ily i mean genuinely interesting) how ur seeing this as such a happy cute song and in my thing i was like 'god this song is so bittersweet and sad' HAHAHAHA like YES it does have a lot of happy fun vibes to it (i called it a 'tropical' vibe LOL) but smth is also like. hm. // by little vocals at the end, did you mean the lalalalas? bc yeah same hehe

get lit // ur comment about the bass FJDKD UR RIGHT but im sorry idk why im laughing ur comment just made me laugh // yeah that verse really is harsh, i didn;t notice before // YEAHH THE CHORUS SYNTHHHHHH it kinda gives me like. i can see a girl group going nuts to this but in a really good way idk how to explain it haha // WAIT THATS HYUNJIN W THE SLURRED LINES????? // yes the little sound at the end hehehe

collision // RIGHT RIGHT THE TRUMPETSSSSSS // dont mind quickly editting my post to include collision as one of my favs. i forgot 💀 // i see you are having a lot of verse 2 > 1 moments hehe // yeah the phone ringing !!!!! its so cool i HBVJDSBVHJSVHSJ

fnf // yeah felix vocals :(((((((( love sm and then followed by hyunjin too i ahhbvdsjbvhsjbvhs // oh i only just paid attention to the lyrics bc of ur comment and now im feelin a lil sad HAHA // oh omg hyes it does give tmt vibes // ohoho??? gotta find out what chan said about 'catching up'

youtiful // smth about channo opening it feels so comforting, right? like, the whole song is comforting and feels like sitting on a rooftop swaddled in blankets with them (all of them, one of them, some of them) but opening it w chan specifically was the cherry on top. // omg yeah the disney vibes >>> // (re: one of ur comments) that was the saddest 'woohoo love that for me' ive read in my life

and i'll stop here. sorry again if this was such a long response ahhh heehfhshjs but it was really fun to make my own comments and then listen to the album again and read ur comments.

#decembermoonskz #kat answers #sorry it took me like almost a whole week to get around to this 😭😭

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rrxnjun · 2 years ago

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well idk what kind of url u want but tbh jihoon reminds me of daisies cuz one time he posted them so the only thing i could think of is juhoonsdaisies or sumn like it's kind of cute but it's definitely not like ur other usernames so i don't think i helped;-; but I hope you have already managed to kind of like the url u came up with;-;

aaa don't worry exams suck so i understand so take ur time with it💕💕but very excited about the review🥹

THOSE SLAP SO HARD I HAVE BEEN LISTENING TO THEM SO MUCH!!! yessss i love noise music but u can only listen to it so much;-; and i will deff check out more of their songs once i'm not in a music overload🥸 THAT PERFORMANCE WAS🤌�� THE FITS THE VOCALS EVERYTHING WAS SO GREAT🤌🤌 and without you definitely became one of my fav songs rn it's so great and idk what kind of songs it reminds me but i love iiittt

yeahhh i would hope its easier but i know it won't be;-; i'm used to studying a lot but idk if only i feel it as a lot and it actually isn't so we will see😬 and thank u for praying i did really bad lmao so i'm hoping to just get a 45% and i will be good so we shall see in june🥸

EXAMS SUCK SO MUCH ACTUALLY WAHHH;-; my hungarian lit, grammar and history i did surprisingly well i think but i will only know the actual results of them on the 5th of june soooo😬 IM MANIFESTING FOR U AS WELL!!! I HOPE ALL WENT WELL AND WILL GO WELL IF U HAVE LEFT!!!! i hope u are doing well and are taking care of urself as well!!! ahhh it will be only easier in like july so🥲 BUT I HOPE U DID/WILL DO WELL ON THEM!! GOOD LUCK!!!! AND RELAX A LOT AFTER U ARE DONE AS WELL!!!!

AND TODAY OR TOMORROW EXPECT A REVIEW OF UR NEW FIC AND I READ THE SUMMARY AND IM SJHDNFJGKG AND VERY GLAD U HAD THE TIME AND WERE IN THE MOOD TO WRITE🥳🥳🥳🥳(liebestraum anon💓💞)

omg thats def very cute but im more of a cool url kind of girlie 😔😔💔 with how things are going with my writing we'll see if i even use the blog tho but maybe its just my current poor mental health speaking AHAHA also still no review because i SUCK im so sorry 😭😭😭

you can only listen to so much noise music before it gets old imo SJSJAJ i had my strong noise music phase back with stray kids and then nct and the 4th gen but i grew to appreciate calmer songs now ig 😭 like noise music has to be done well to be listenable and thats why i hardly stan 4th gen noise music bgs 💔 nct will forever be the best noise. but im so glad u agree the fits in that perf were so so good the all white ?? magnificent. especially jinyoung. u probably dont know which one he is but thats not important rn HAHA. i think without you will definitely be in my top tracks on spotify for this year ive become so obsessed with the song 😭😭

no i think if u assume youre studying a lot then it actually IS alot bc even now i can say im not studying THAT much but maybe thats bc im a fast learner ??? idk idk. omg is 45% enough to pass there?? 😭 i have to have 65% at least and when i heard that literal med school students only need 50% i almost threw a fit bc how is that possible. how can a psych major need more to pass than a literal ASPIRING DOCTOR. (law majors need 75% tho so that calmed me down really quickly). however i am manifesting for you !!!! im sure u did well and will continue to do well if u have any more exams🤞🤞🤞 i failed one of mine 💀💀💀 but i retook it yesterday and i think i passed this time. i have 2 left and both are kinda difficult but. lets manifest.

#also i took so long to reply im so sorry #didnt ackowledge the last part bc u already sent in another ask abt it 💀#once again hope youre taking care of yourself !!! youre doing amazing ily #💌ask #liebestraum anon

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mnoaeiu · 3 years ago

Text

“challenge.”

pairing: streamer!childe x gn!reader

tags: streamer au, modern au, use of pet names (baby and babe), fluff, establised relationship

notes: im sorry for the different formats i use on my fics lmao i want to experiment. lowercase intended! not proofread :(

━━━━━━━━━━━━━

you knocked on the door before coming in as childe was setting up his camera for his stream. he has a scheduled stream today so he has to be with his computer for hours.

“hey baby,” you said while approaching him on his gaming chair.

“hey, what's up?” he asked, eyes focusing on his appearance on the camera. he tried to flatten out the hair that's sticking on top of his head but it keeps on spring back up, making you laugh in the process.

“just let that hair be. right now, i need your attention.” he laughed at your response and quickly encircled his arms around your waist, looking at you softly. you placed your thighs on both side of his, straddling him, and planted a quick kiss on his lips before burrying your face on the crook of his neck.

“'m tired. can i take a nap here for a while?” you whispered, hugging him tightly.

“of course. i still have 30 minutes before the stream.” he then placed a kiss on your temple and adjusted himself to make yourself more comfy. childe wants nothing but to sleep on your shared bed and cuddle all night, but he promised to go live today, and we all know that childe never breaks his promise.

“just wake me up if you need to start your stream, okay? i don't want to bother you but i really want to be with you right now,” you murmured, slowly falling out of consciousness.

“of course, babe.”

he didn't.

as soon as his time for his stream is nearing, he can't bring himself to wake you up from your peaceful slumber. he knows you must be so tired from today and he doesn't want to disturb you, so he thought that he'd just include you on the stream. he knows you will smack him as soon as you wake hp but he doesn't really care, all he wants to do now is be with you and show you off.

“this live will end after y/n wakes up” read the title.

the little light from the camera lit up, signaling that he is now live. he waited a few minutes for his viewers to join in and his chat was already bombarded with questions on why you're on top of him and compliments about how you two look so sweet together.

“hey guys,” childe whispered on his mic, keeping his voice as low as possible to avoid waking you up.

“as promised, i will be reviewing the new horror game that came out.”

childe is always so loud whenever he is playing games with jumpscares on them. not because he is scared of them, (a little, but he would never admit that) but because it thrills him and his adrenaline would pump.

this time, however, he made a twist.

“as you can see, my baby's sleeping on top of me.” childe swung his chair to the side to prove to his chat that you were in fact sleeping peacefully. your cheeks were smooshed on his shoulders, lips pouted slightly and arms wrapped around his waist loosely. his chat immediately sent hearts and comments about how cute you were, and childe can't help but chuckle at the compliments you were receiving. what can he do? you're just too adorable.

“and you all know how loud i can get when i play horror games. but, now, since y/n's sleeping, i'm gonna try to be as quiet as possible.”

his chat immediately went wild, saying stuff like he'll scream at the first part of the game or he'll wake you up as soon as the game starts. childe raised his right eyebrow slightly, a sly smirk forming on his lips.

��oh? is that a challenge? well, i'm very much up for it.” he said with his challenging tone, although lowering his voice down. his livestream already feels like an impromptu asmr. “if i lose, i'll pick three winners for a guaranteed character on a gacha game. sounds good?”

everyone agreed on the chat and then started the challenge.

he opened the game on his pc and started playing the game, going over the tutorials and controls. he tried to make as little movements as possible to avoid stirring you awake. he admits that it's hard to muffle his own voice but he's very much excited on winning this bet with his chat.

whenever he encounters something that almost made him scream, he will take a deep breath and press a kiss on the top of your head or your temple. you stirred quite a few times but still remained asleep. the tension he feels when he played the game eases everytime he kisses your face, your presence alone soothes him. his leg starts to hurt but that doesn't bother him as long as you're there with him.

childe flashes on a victory smile just as soon as he finishes the game without waking you up. he puts down his controller while he pumped his fist up to the air, letting out a silent scream, unable to contain his excitement. unfortunately, that startled you and pulled you right out of your sleep.

“oh, crap. i'm sorry,” you blinked a few times, looking at him with his apologetic look.

“is it time already? i'm gonna go now. have fun with your stream.” you let out a pout, not wanting to be away from his warmth. as you attempted to stand up, he wrapped his arms around you while pulling you back into him.

“it's fine now. i'm almost done with the stream.” his smile grew wider when he saw you with wide eyes and parted lips, shock written on your face.

“i- what?” you asked, confused. he just chuckled before kissing your cheeks, waving at the camera behind you.

“say hi to them!”

you tilted your head to the side to get a view on what the hell is happening and surely enough, you see yourself on the computer screen with the chat blowing up with “hi” and “you look cute” comments. you shyly waved your hand before burrying your face on childe's neck once more out of embarassment, slapping his arm while he laughed to himself.

“i told you to wake me up!” you groaned.

“i know, i'm sorry!” he's still laughing as he said those words, but he quickly placed another kiss on your cheeks as an apology.

“well, that concludes today's stream. i really hope you enjoyed it because, well, i had fun with it. bye, guys!” he waved at the camera and you mirrored him yet still not lifting your face on his neck. as soon as he shuts his computer down, he stood up from his chair while carrying you. his leg feels numb but he tried his best to walk the two of you twards your shared bedroom.

“they loved you on the stream, think you'd like to show up more?”

“as long as i'm awake.”

“sorry, baby.”

you let the corners of your lips tugged into a smile as you gaze lovingly at your dorky boyfriend. “i know, i love you.”

he pecked your lips softly, still holding you while walking, “i love you too.”

#genshin childe #childe x reader #tartaglia x reader #ajax x reader #childe x you #genshin fics #genshin fanfic #x reader #genshin x you #childe fics #genshin comfort #genshin impact fluff #genshin impact #childe fluff #childe fic

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greyeyedmonster-18 · 3 years ago

Note

Grey! Trauma anon or something, back again - this time with a finished not-really-a-review but a bunch of words from the heart:

First and foremostly, Mrs. Potter knowing how Sirius takes his tea and that he prefers peppermint.

The way Sirius “misses” his parents, still, because it’s complicated and there’s no such thing as a clean break. His stance towards Regulus and how he said Remus could never beat him in a duel, yes. The painting.

The way he’s always trying so hard and still gets knocked down sometimes. I distinctly remember writing in my journal one day that I always felt like I didn’t just take a couple steps backwards every once in a while, but that I plummet down, I hit rock bottom and go right back to where I don’t want to be and have to make my way back up again. And again and again. So you can imagine how I felt when he expressed that.

(Babe I just now realised there’s no possible way for me to make this review chronologically, I’ll just hope my best it doesn’t give you whiplash).

It is actually so cute that Peter reads with his hands covering his ears??

When Sirius lit Remus’s blunt with his own cigarette, that did something.

I just want you to know this entire fic felt like a love song to Sirius, I adore him so much. Sirius with a grin, bargaining with a professor for 5 minutes at the Ravenclaw table. Sirius with spirit, giving James a pep talk before quidditch matches and holding him by his scruff whenever Lily’s around - and how he empathises later on, when he realises he wants to do with Remus what James does when he’s around Lily.

The way Sirius thinks he’s inherently insane because of some Black family madness, like they’re the Targaryens or something. I wonder that way too often too. Whether I’m wired or I was just brought up that way doesn’t really matter, because it is a part of me now anyway. And I try everyday to do better, but all of the darkness, it is still me, too. So I actually liked Porter but I hated the way he only wanted the filtered version of Sirius and how he claimed the bits he didn’t like weren’t really him anymore. I love that he realised he wanted someone who loved him unconditionally. I love how all of this makes him hold on to stability and how much Remus appreciates that, especially in the mornings after the full moon.

Sirius beating Mulciber’s fucking face in was just what he (Sirius) deserved, really. Good for him. The flashback to his conversation with McGonagall did hurt though, but in a good way. “We’re just gonna sit here and you’ll have my attention, shall you want it” plEASE i literally teared up and i’m not someone who cries, ever. If someone had said that to me, I would have.

I love that it was Mr. Potter who reached out to him first, about the incident and about the watch. I love that Mrs. Potter grounded him and that that was his something good of the day. And I love that he was able to write with his left hand lmao. And Lily’s pipeline from “man who does tables” to “show me how you set up your tables”.

Polyglot Sirius is canon! English, French, Greek, Latin and Italian and YES!! And James speaking Urdu, so true, bestie.

Actually, make that polymath Sirius. He’s so perceptive and clever and I love the idea of him being knowledgeable in multiple fields (languages, music, arithmancy, etc). The fact he has a red quill for revising James’s papers. Your honOUR i love this mess of a man!!

Also the way Sirius evidently struggles to converse with parental figures and the way he makes himself scarce when he doesn’t know how to communicate and/or emote. How the poshness sometimes comes out and how James and Remus tease him for it (and, on that note, all of Lily’s impressions, I love her dearly). The way he always straightens his posture before taking on anything - from answering a question in class to approaching a serious conversation. It is so dear the way he’s conscious about it too and makes sure to let himself relax when he’s alone with Remus on their ledge.

James and Sirius calling each other “love”. James hating that Sirius smokes and sometimes actively removing a cigarette from his mouth. When the Potters got him the piano for Christmas I was so touched. The flashback from the night he showed up on their doorstep and James being absolutely feral - if you don’t want two sons i’ll go! but he stays! and he gets all the blankets!! Also the marauders’s party for Sirius on his birthday. Being known really is being loved!!

The way Sirius is just so blatantly beautiful that it is nothing but a fact to everyone and nothing to brag about. Yeah, the sky is blue and Sirius is handsome. I love that his attractiveness is not perceived as his greatest attribute, barely as an attribute at all. That he’s aware it draws people in superficially and how he struggles with intimacy because he wants to be more than just a pretty face. I love that his friends use his good looks to make fun of him, rather than placing it on a pedestal. Remus is allowed to gush, though.

Ok, back up, I just recalled they don’t heal all of their injuries after the full moon (and that Remus is not the only one that gets hurt! please!) because some make them look cool. They’re such boys, bless them.

My body spasmed every single time Remus called Sirius a good boy.

All of Sirius’s trauma dumping and using humour as a coping mechanism… yes. That is realistic. Also his hair growing as the story progresses and the way Remus blames the heat in their compartment on Sirius’s shampoo. Oh! AND! Sirius was uninterested in smoking if Remus wasn’t there. Remus and his hand-rolled cigarettes, the pretentious hipster (this is a self call-out). He gets a pass for teaching (albeit not so successfully) Sirius how to roll them. That’s how I flirt too, Remus. And I know he was flirting because no one who wasn’t flirting would just let someone ruin like three rolling papers.

Marlene!! Is precious. I love how much she cares, I love that she bet on “idiot” only once and I love that she reassures Sirius he won’t fuck things up. I wish he’d gotten to see more of them. Strip quidditch and setting firewhisky shots on fire and stuff.

The fact he distinguished his mother’s footsteps from every other sound in the castle is just. spot on. “Mother didn’t ask me a question” walked so “There’s no need to call me sir, Professor” could run.

By the point they share a bed and he-who-never-shares Remus is like take my hand, wreck my plans, that’s my man – and Sirius fucking does!!! takes his hand and rests it on the underside of his cheek. For safekeeping. And Remus not showering in the morning for the chance that he might smell Sirius on him throughout the day?? I love Remus and his mismatched socks and I love that he keeps extra hair ties on his wrist for Sirius.

Sirius organises his sock drawer and shoves people’s faces into walls!! The rANGE! And yeah, this is my mess of a review that is more of me yelling at you about things you already know (cause you wrote the damn thing) but I just wanted to show my appreciation and to tell you how much I’ve enjoyed reading every single word of it! Thank you so much for choosing to share it with us <3

I will be leaving you alone now, mwah!!

....anon. it is blurry, it is misty, a tree landed in both my eyes.

I--

have no words to express how...lovely this review is and how delighted i am that you picked up on every single thing i was trying to articulate (trouble with parental figures, his mothers footsteps, this inherent question of "am i born to be cruel or do i actually have a choice?", posture and mannerisms and the way he speaks, sirius's fluidity--charming,broken,excited,brilliant--all of these things and attempting to reconcile). I just--from the bottom of my heart thank you for reading. Thank you for taking the time to express this. I read this ask like 8x because i was so astounded

(and i also thought literally no one on this earth was going to like or understand this fic and would HATE the writing of sirius and i am...so...relieved? Flattered? Surprised?? That hasnt been the case).

So much love.

#asks #grey answers #no matter the wreckage

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spencersstrawberryjello · 3 years ago

Text

Treat People With Kindness (The BAU)

Summary: Garcia gets Reid into Harry Styles and everyone subsequently loses their minds over it.

Content: Honestly just funny I’m not sure what to call it

MC’s name/pronouns: No alternate main character, just Spencer.

Word Count: 1706

A/N: This whole fic was inspired by the fact that a fan gave Matthew Gray Gubler a Treat People With Kindness pin, which then sparked my friend Emily and I to theorize that Spencer Reid would absolutely be a Harry Styles stan. So yeah, this is literally just the product of one fan interaction lmao

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“I got a good feelin’.”

“... What’s he doing?” Emily leaned over and whispered to JJ, who just shook her head.

“I’m just takin’ it all in.”

“Ok, what happened to Reid?” Morgan joined them, and they both shrugged, watching Spencer walk through the doors of the office.

“Floatin’ up and dreamin’.”

“You know, maybe I need to add him to my drug test list too.” Hotch had stepped out of his office, trying to hide his grin as they saw Spencer making his way to his desk, headphones in and practically dancing over to his seat, mouthing every word of the song he was listening to. He plopped down in it with a little spin, opening a file on his desk without ever taking his headphones out.

“Try ‘Dancing with the Stars,’” Emily laughed, and JJ broke away from their group, heading over to his desk.

“Hey Spence,” She rested her arms on the divide between his desk and Emily’s, tapping on it to get his attention.

“Maybe we can find a place to feel good.”

“Spence!” She tapped his arm this time, and he practically jumped out of his skin, turning to face her.

“And we can treat -”

He quickly tore the headphones out of his ears, setting them down on his desk and looking up at her, clearing his throat.

“Sorry. I was listening to something.” He gestured to the headphones still connected to his phone, as if that wasn’t already obvious.

“Yeah, I noticed,” JJ laughed.

“Do we have a case?”

“Nothing yet, you’re good.” She tried fruitlessly to hide her grin, and he gave her a strange look.

“Ok…”

“So,” She plopped down in Emily’s chair, rolling it over to sit near him, “What were you listening to?”

“Oh!” His face lit up, and he grabbed his phone, holding it out for her to see. She put the headphones in her ears, hearing the final moments of the song he’d been jamming to.

“And we can treat people with kindness, find a place to feel good.”

“Harry Styles?” JJ laughed incredulously, handing him back his phone.

“You’ve heard of him?” He asked, taking the phone and sitting it back on his desk and turning back to her.

“I’m pretty sure most people have heard of him, Spence.”

“Ok, well, I hadn’t. But on Saturday I was speaking at the University of Mary Washington with Rossi, and one of the girls gave me this, after the lecture,” He grabbed his bag off the back of the chair, pointing to a round pin clipped on the strap. It was enamel, with light pink on the inside and a red rose in the center, encircled by the phrase “Treat People With Kindness” in black lettering. “And you know, naturally I thought it was a good message so I put it on my bag and I thought that was all it was. But then I ran into Garcia.”

“Oh god.”

“I was walking in yesterday and she saw it and kind of freaked out a little bit, and pulled me into her office and played me the song - the one you just listened to - and it was amazing and so I told her I thought it was amazing, which made her freak out even more and then you called with a case so I left, only to receive a a YouTube playlist a few hours later that she told me I had to watch every video on or she’d stop printing the case files for me.”

“You know she loves you too much to actually do that, right?”

“I mean, the odds were low, but I wasn’t going to risk it. Either way, I sort of listened to every single song on Fine Line and Self-Titled in one night and also a whole bunch of interviews that she sent me and he’s really funny and his music is great and the moral of the story is I kind of love him.”

JJ sent back in her chair, dumbfounded. “Dude… you mean to tell me Garcia made you a Harry Styles fan?”

“Pretty much, yeah.”

“I - Penelope!” JJ left without another word, making her way into Garcia’s office. Spencer just shrugged, returning to the file he was looking at - and his music - as Garcia spun to face JJ.

“Jennifer, my love, to what do I owe the pleasure? New case?” She asked. JJ just shook her head.

“You broke Reid.”

“I did not break Reid!” She defended with a grin. “I merely helped him reach his true form.”

“He willingly used technology, and he came into the office today practically dancing to Treat People With Kindness. So yes, you did break Reid.”

“JJ, dear,” Garcia got up from her chair, taking JJ’s hands in the doorway, “Do you remember when Reid got that adorable little shaggy haircut?”

“Despite the fact that he changes his hair like every month, yes, I do.”

“And do you remember what Hotch said?”

She thought for a moment, then her eyes widened in shock. “You did all of this… because of the boyband joke?”

“Like I said: true form.” Garcia returned to her chair, spinning around with a laugh. “In my defense, I didn’t know he was going to get a Harry Styles pin. I just took advantage of the opportunity when it presented itself. I already failed at teaching him to worship Lady Gaga, I could not miss another chance to try and pull him out of the dark ages.”

“You are ridiculous, you know that?”

“That’s why you love me!”

JJ laughed, leaving Garcia’s office and heading up to hers, ruffling Spencer’s hair on her way by.

“You should grow your hair out again.”

“You think so?” He reached up and fussed with his hair, just as Garcia emerged into the main room.

“Spencer Reid, my beautiful boy genius, did you do what I asked?”

“Garcia, I figured out how to download music to my phone because of you. So yes, I did what you asked.”

“You are officially my new favorite person.”

“Hang on, what is this all about?” Emily asked. Garcia grinned, hardly able to contain her excitement.

“I’m finally bringing the lovely Dr. Reid here into the 21st Century.”

“Penelope,” Emily raised an eyebrow at her, “What did you do?”

“Garcia thinks she did something revolutionary by getting me into Harry Styles’ music,” Spencer clarified. Emily immediately clapped her hand over her mouth, about to respond before Derek piped up from his desk.

“Oh, she converted you too?”

“‘Too’ - you mean to tell me that you, Derek Morgan, are a Harry Styles fan?” Emily was looking between the three of them now, practically in shock. Derek just laughed, holding up his hands.

“What can I say, the guy’s got an incredible voice.”

“And the make up of his songs is so interesting as well; I mean, when you look at the music he’s produced in the last few years in comparison to what he performed while he was a part of One Direction -”

“Oh my god please tell me you’ve also listened to One Direction,” Emily said, laughing when Spencer nodded.

“I don’t understand why you guys are making such a big deal out of this. He’s a singer, it’s not like he doesn’t have fans,” He defended.

“Reid, two months ago you didn’t even know who Lady Gaga was. This is kind of a big deal.”

“Conference room in five,” JJ walked through the group, heading upstairs as everyone else got up to follow her.

“Do not think I am dropping this,” Emily pointed at Derek and Spencer before jogging to catch up with JJ. Derek laughed, falling in step with Reid.

“So, what all did Garcia make you watch?”

“Oh, just a bunch of interviews. I did some of my own reading though -”

“Of course you did.”

“- and what I found really interesting was One Direction’s actual rise to fame. Because the thing is, they didn’t even win X-Factor. They came in third, and yet they became the most famous group to come from that season of the show. In Forever Young - their book - they talked about their time on X-Factor, but it was so strange to me because their first album - Up All Night, that came out not even a full year after they finished the X-Factor live tour - sold 4.5 million copies within the first year. And they just kept growing… Morgan why are you laughing?”

“I’m sorry,” They’d walked into the conference room by now, sitting down next to each other at the table while Derek tried to stop himself from laughing, looking at Reid in disbelief, “You read their book?”

“And their Wikipedia page - I told you I did my own reading!”

“You said you did some of your own reading, you didn’t say you’d memorized everything about their career!”

“Eidetic memory, remember?” He tapped his forehead, and Derek rolled his eyes.

“You never let me forget. I’m assuming you know everything about their solo careers as well?”

“Well I got into Harry’s stuff first, but I ended up reading all of theirs since I didn’t have anything else to do last night. It’s just so interesting to think about what One Direction’s situation reveals about human nature and celebrity culture. I mean, a lot of their fans are dictionary definition erotomaniacs, and yet -”

“I shouldn’t even be surprised that you read this all in one night.”

“Like I said: didn’t have anything else to do.”

“As much as I’m glad you boys are bonding, we have more important things to worry about than Reid’s newfound love for a British boy band,” JJ interrupted.

“Niall Horan’s actually Irish -”

“Spence. The case.” She pulled up the photos on the screen, and Spencer nodded, opening the case file in front of him as JJ began to review everything they needed to know. She finally closed out, and Hotch grabbed his tablet and rose from the table.

“Alright, wheels up in thirty.”

Everyone nodded, gathering up their things and vacating the room. Spencer and Derek trailed out after everyone, Spencer picking up the conversation as soon as JJ finished.

“You know, I’m considering learning how to knit - there’s this cardigan that Harry wore...”

#criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #bau #bau headcanon #spencer reid headcanon #criminal minds headcanon #bau fanfiction #fanfiction #reid #dr reid #dr spencer reid #writing #harry styles #treat people with kindness #hs #styles

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whoa-its-dani · 3 years ago

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How to recover from listening to Everywhere at the End of Time

From a person currently still trying to lmao, here are some tips on how to recover if you chose to listen to Everywhere at the End of Time (EATEOT).

Here are some tips to help you recover:

- Watch / read reviews / essays about EATEOT, and/or learn more about dementia and Alzheimer’s.

Education is a good way to dismantle and weaken fear. Watching videos about elderly people being re-exposed to their favorite music helped me a lot.

Also, you can sort of desensitize yourself to it because of repeated exposure, though I don’t recommend re-listening to it or it’s fan projects (or it’s prequel) if you were heavily impacted by it.

If you are exposing yourself to it again, make sure it’s during the day, a bright day, and that you have people around you that you can contact if things get bad.

- Practice self care and create a comforting environment.

A weighted blanket, a shower, sleeping with the light on... whatever you need to feel comfortable.

I did laundry, showered, put on nice smelling lotion, lit a candle, got comfy in bed under the weighted blanket, played comforting / familiar music (Skyrim soundtrack) and watched comforting shows/videos (mainly related to upbeat happy things or media), and snuggled with some of my plushes.

I know it sounds stupid and childish, but it does help.

- EAT SOMETHING AND GET SOME SLEEP.

Preferably in that order. Holy hell does a meal and some sleep (even just a nap) help. Again, make sure it’s a comforting environment, nap during the day if you have to. But damn, it makes a difference.

- Meme about it. Joke about it.

I know a lot of assholes get upset that people are making jokes about or memeing about EATEOT / dementia, but honestly fuck them. Humor is a very good coping mechanism and those holier-than-thou shit stains can go fuck themselves.

- Make art!

Seriously! Write an AU of your favorite characters developing dementia. Explore it in a safe way! Like I said in tip one, education dismantles fear. In a fic or piece of art, YOU’RE the one in control.

Make your own EATEOT album! There’s lots of fan-made ones out there. How would you represent dementia? Or maybe another disease or hardship?

How about creating humanizations / creatures out of the album covers? Lots of people do that, too!

- Talk to someone.

Whether it’s a friend, parent, therapist... talking about how you’re feeling can help a lot. Even writing about it online or in a journal can be helpful.

- Cuddle a pet and/or experience nature.

If you have a cat or dog or something, by all means, cuddle them. Going for a walk outside can also help!

- Figure out what exactly is fucking you up.

This sounds weird but I didn’t know how else to word it. Are you depressed because of it? Anxious? Paranoid? Figure out what you’re dealing with so you can better figure out how to deal with it.

Anxious? Try exercising. Go for a run. Paranoid? Try talking to someone, or generally being around other people.

- If things are getting really bad for you because of EATEOT, and you’re thinking about hurting yourself or others, please contact a professional or emergency services. I know you’re strong enough to ask for help!

You can easily look up hotlines in your country online. I know with COVID that things are a little weird right now, but if you feel like you need help, please try to get some.

Please feel free to reblog and add your own tips, if you like. I hope this could help someone!

I’m not a professional or anything, but these are the tips that helped me the most. My inbox is open if you want to scream into it. I can’t say I’ll have any good advice or any answers you need, but it is there. I wish you the best in your healing!

#PSA #EATEOT #Everywhere at the End of Time #Long Post #The Caretaker #Leyland Kirby #Ivan Seal #Ask to Tag #Whoa's Posts

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chitsangenthusiast · 3 years ago

Note

Hey kath 🖤(am I late to this?)

14,21(I like reading everyone losing their mind over mallrat shenanigans lol),28 for the end of the year fic ask !!

p.s. all the best for all your 24 w.i.ps hehe!!

hello sree!! i apologize for the late answer i spent all day out with my roommate lol BUT

14. a fic you didn’t expect to write i'm gonna do the best i can for SURE. mostly bc it was 90% an attempt at procrastinating and 10% wanting to see my writing improvement from an older fic with the same premise lmaooo

21. most memorable comment/review YOU <333 lit the day/s you decided to leave a slew of comments in my inbox for each fic and then basically went "i was going to wait to read mallrat but nope doing it anyway!!" left me gobsmacked????? like??? YOU 🧡🧡🧡🧡

follow ups are every single person who p much just screamed the word 'TENDER' at me for hmlyd lmfaoo i cackle every time at this point lol

28. longest fic you read this year HA so uh when i tell you i desperately missed my beloved acreed this year i mean it bc a lot of the longest fics i've (started) reading were alt.mal ones lmao

have i finished any of them? no <3 i am a slow reader <33

do i hold onto the one mountain hiking fic i found like it's gold for when i finally have the chance to read it? yes <333

#stg alt.mals are WORDYYYYY #they've always been like that too lmfao the Sheer Number of pages i've gone through when once reading alt.mal fics on deviantart lmaooooo #HASN'T CHANGED #which is exactly why i don't think i could ever try my hand at alt.mal fic bc farr too daunting lmao #but yeah anything mega long has been held in my 'mark for later' box bc i have simply never once learned how to do anything fast lol </3 #thank you sree!!!#ask

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ri-boo · 4 years ago

Note

2. Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to?

17. Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

18. Do you use any tools, like worksheets or outlines?

28. Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

38. Talk about a review that made your day.

39. Do you ever get rude reviews and how do you deal with them?

-Lit

2. I Answered this one on the last ask so I am copying and pasting it here. "YES! The one currently that I can't get out of my head is the whole "one character gets injured and has to show their scars to their enemy who is helping for some reason and asks the 'who did this to you line' but make it so they reply with 'you did, remember?' and then shit could go multiple ways fam" LIKE BRO it won't get out of my head lmao. HeLP"

17. Generally I write the whole story in chronological order and will write short snippets down for future chapters if I think of it and don't think I'll remember later.

18. I write out a general and vague timeline/outline for most of my stories. But that's about it.

28. @kirishimas-manly-eyeliner or SeraStars on Ao3 because their MiriTama story is currently one of my favs, DeathBelle on Ao3 because HOLY SHIT I live for their SakuAtsu fics, and Steamedbun on Ao3 because their WIP fic, Burned Out is FUCKING PAINFUL AND AWESOME at the same time. There's more but I am shit with names so I may add them later lol.

38. It's impossible to choose just one because every single review and comment has made all my days and weeks and months and I love you all so much for them.

39. I have gotten a few. They've all been comments about my OC's, character portrayals, or about some of the serious subject matter I cover in a couple of my fics. Generally I either don't reply because confrontation is something I avoid like the plague or I reply with something along the lines of, "I can see and definitely understand what you're saying. (insert my reply to their specific comment subject with why I've portrayed something a certain way or with the fact that lots of people experience and view certain things differently so I can understand where they're coming from or something like that, etc.) and then I thank them for giving my fic a try and for leaving input I can keep in mind for the future. Because everyone has different preferences for fics and everyone can relate or not relate to things differently. The fact that they chose to read however far in my fic till then makes me happy and I can always learn from most comments. <3

#riboo's asks #answered asks #thank you Lit anon for the asks! I love these. <3

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capricornus-rex · 5 years ago

Note

Hiii!💖 I hope that you are doing well! I just wanted to request a little something with Cal if you don’t mind or aren’t busy. I just failed an exam and I’m feeling really bad an dumb so uh I guess I would want something to make me feel better. This request sucks lmao I’m sorry, I am in crisis🥺 i’ll stop crying now hahaha you can ignore this ily

Oh no sweetie, I hope you’re doing okay! Sorry if the fic is a day overdue and I couldn’t help but consider this as an emergency—no one gets sad on my watch! ÙωÚ I hope this fic can make you feel better. And no, sweetie, you’re not dumb—YOU’RE ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL!! 💖💖💖

I know I’m knee-deep with requests but if someone is sad and relies on me to cheer them up, I can’t simply ignore that~ :”) I hope sooner or later, I’ll hear from you smiling already~ :3

Oh and little fun fact, I took inspiration from your previous profile icon—the one with Rapunzel—and listened to I See The Light while writing this for an extra personal touch *finger guns* 😉 I also referenced a festival that we usually celebrate here in my country UwU

“Festival of Flowers” | Cal Kestis x Reader

Tags: Flower Festival, Inspired by Tangled

Also posted in AO3

Masterlist

Cal noticed that you have been awfully quiet the whole day ever since you two got back from Dathomir. You couldn’t help but keep recalling the moment where you flunked a move that allowed the Nightbrother to strike you with his mace. You feared that you’ve lost your touch, your skill, and grace and lost to someone with a crude fighting style.

Asking you if you’re okay didn’t exactly do much, whenever Cal looked away, you’d go back to skulking; now, you’re whiling away your time reading BD-1’s databank entries uploaded to your datapad at the couch. He pretended to go to the galley, fixed himself a glass of water, and peered over your shoulder and found you reviewing lightsaber combat forms.

He didn’t say anything, he finished his glass and marched back to the cockpit, leaving you in the solace of your privacy. Cal went to the holotable and typed the coordinates of a planet. It was a planet that he had heard from Master Tapal as a child.

“Setting course for…” Cal shushed Greez before he could say the name of the planet out loud. The captain got the hint. “Aggio? Never heard of it.”

“It’s a planet my master told me about, I’ve never been there myself,”

“And we’re going here because?”

“It’s a surprise,” Cal smirked. “For her.”

Cere and the captain exchanged glances as soon as Cal stepped out of the cockpit to join you at the couch. He casually settled himself next to you on the sofa, propping his foot over his knee and slouching his back against the backrest.

“Hey,”

You turned to face him and parroted his greeting.

“What are you up to?”

You stammered, “Oh, um, studying… reading…”

“That’s a new thing I’ve heard from you,”

“I was a bit of a study bug when I was a Padawan whenever Master and I are back at the temple,”

You heard the humming of the ship and saw the flash of blue light through the windshield.

“Where are we headed?”

“Oh, you’ll find out soon enough,” he cooed.

Now that he has piqued your interest, the first phase of his plan is proceeding accordingly. You took his statement with a grain of salt and continued studying. Hours later, you have completed the learning modules of the lightsaber forms from Form I to Form IV—all that time you spent studying and figuring out if one form is compatible to mix with the other was the exact travel time the Mantis needed to get to Cal’s secret planet.

When you felt the suspension bounce against the surface, you put the datapad away and joined Cal by the cockpit. The Mantis landed in a high forest clearing, in the north, a town can be reached with just a short trek. Cal abruptly grabbed you by the hand and dragged you out of the ship, clearly, he was excited to show you everything there is to see about the planet.

You stand at the edge of the small rise of land that overlooks the town. Even in broad daylight, the town radiated a certain kind of brightness around it—as if its aura pooled and then burst for everyone to see.

“Where are we?”

“This is Aggio, it’s a planet that I’ve only heard from Master Tapal, the stories he used to tell me about this planet was something straight out of a fairy tale,”

“Oh?” you cooed, your curiosity obviously more piqued than earlier.

Not once did Cal ever let go of your hand as he brought you into the town. Left and right, colors flooded your vision—the sparkling blue of its lake, the vibrant colors of the flowers that are too many to name, even the most neutral of colors like white and beige pop out just right in the spectrum! All the townsfolk—diverse as they are—were in all sorts of cheer, it was the contagious kind and you can’t help but smile as well.

All of a sudden, you forgot all of your worries drowned by the colors and the music.

Street musicians filled with the air with their instruments, artists joined by children color the streets with paint and chalk, and vendors offered you their trinkets. For each and every thing the two of you pass by, BD-1 was there to scan everything he could get his lenses on.

“Slow down with the scanning, buddy! I don’t want you overworking your processor!”

“Boo! Bee, trill woop!”

“This place is so beautiful,” you gasped. “I’ve never seen anything like it!”

The two of you came across what ought to be the town’s main plaza, you were separated when a group of children tugged you by the hem of your shirt and asked you to join them in painting the road. You drew the Shyyyo Bird and told its story to the children, enamored with the fantastic beast, they decided to draw their own versions of the bird in different sizes and colors.

Meanwhile, an elderly vendor has been noticing Cal fawning over you as you play with the children; he then offered Cal a bright-colored flower and spoke in his native dialect, it was a foreign one that Cal wasn’t fluent in. Luckily, BD-1 was there to translate it word-for-word.

“Give it to the person with whom you share a deep, special connection to,” Cal repeated. “Since when did you have a translator?”

“Bee, woop!”

“[y/n] did that, huh?”

He stared at the flower and then spotted you sitting with the children, continuing to draw pictures on the street, this time you were drawing BD-1 for them and then explained to them what it is. He smiled to himself and the elderly vendor spoke to him again adding more bits to the lore, shortly after, a woman approached the two of them.

“My apologies, my father is not used to Galactic Basic,” said the young woman. “He said that it is in Aggio’s culture, especially during the Pabena Festival, for a lover to give a flower to their beloved. It’s what makes the celebration all the more special—it deepens the lovers’ relationship.”

“I see, I’ve only heard much from someone. I didn’t know about this one until now,”

“I see that you are a traveler, this is my first time seeing you,”

“Frankly, I didn’t know there’d be a festival. I only decided to bring her over,” he returned his attention to you. “Though, I do know that this place was very festive. Please, let me pay for this.”

“No, no need. It’s a gift. My father likes giving them often. Besides, we have enough from this month’s harvest!”

One child walked up to you and tied a ribbon strewn with flowers on your hair. The woman spotted you as she glanced past Cal’s shoulder and she got the hint.

When the parents from the crowd began waving their hands at their children, beckoning them to come to them, they towed you along. The children were so small that you had to lean a bit lower so you could understand them when you’re spoken to.

“It’s time for the parade!” the little boy chirped as his tiny hand held onto your three fingers together, but his mother snatched him up and settled her boy on top of his father’s shoulders.

“I’ll watch it, don’t worry!” you cooed.

You found Cal in the crowd. He showed you the flower that he had been hiding behind his back. It was a pleasant surprise to you, Cal’s heart fluttered when he saw your smile.

Your eyes lit up as you held the flower close to you, “I’ve seen this flower before, but only in pictures at the Jedi Archives. It’s so much more beautiful in person.”

“They said it’s part of their culture to give flowers to their beloved. It gets extra special when they do it during the Pabena Festival,”

“Really? That’s such a beautiful tradition, perhaps the best one I’ve heard by far!”

The entrance of the parade began with a rhapsody of trumpets, drums, and whistles. A chorus of singers marching in the frontline of the band. A column of dancers brandished their colorful costumes and lithe movements on both sides of the marchers.

You held onto the flower as you hooked your arm around Cal’s, the two of you continued to watch the parade until its last segment. When the energy from the town subsided after the performance, Cal decided to be your tour guide and strolled along the town. BD-1 is still having his fill of scanning everything you pass by in the town. The three of you came across a mosaic mural depicting the first dwellers of the planet, possibly hinting how the festival came to be.

You were enjoying your time in Aggio so much that you didn’t realize that it was already dusk. Although the sky was still so clear, hints of golden sunlight began to deepen in color as the sun sank.

Cal leaned closer to your ear, “Come on, there’s another thing I want to show you.”

He led you to the docks by the town’s vast lake and bought a candle fixed in front of a water lily on a pad.

“They said these candles and flowers are offerings to keep the land fertile so they can still grow more crops and flowers,” Cal explained as he inched it closer so he and you hold it on both sides. “And we have to make a wish before we set it out to the water. Ready?”

The glow danced about in your faces as the candlelight flickered.

“Yeah,” you beamed, even in a whisper.

There was brief moment of silence between you and him. He peeped his one eye open and watched you solemnly saying your wish in your mind. It was only a few seconds’ worth and then you’re ready to sail it to the lake. Carefully setting down the lily pad on the water, you and Cal gently push it at the same time so it flows along the current with the others.

You and Cal sat down by the shore, he wrapped his arm around you as the sky began to darken and the candles illuminated the lake. You snuggled close to him with a smile that you can’t seem to take off of your face even if you wanted to.

“This has been the best evening I’ve ever had, Cal,”

“Really?”

“Yes, really. Thank you,”

He inched closer to you until your lips met, he shifted in his seat and caressed your face as he locked lips with you. He’s certain that he felt your smile in between kisses, your heart fluttered, goosebumps pelted your skin, and your hand wandered to his cheek. When you pulled away, you kept your gentle hands on his face, nose-to-nose with each other, the two of you exchanged smiles while watching the night drift by the sea of candlelight with your fingers intertwined.

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yeoldontknow · 4 years ago

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🖊️writers tag game🖊️

tagged by *deep breath* @ditzymax @red-exo @kyungseokie @j-pping @blackberrykai and...someone else im pretty sure for this sweet little tag game. thank you so much angels!

1. what is your ideal setting for focusing on your writing?

this confused me for a moment...because shouldn’t it be where? im so sorry. ok honestly...my ideal setting is in my bathroom in the tub with no water. this is ideal but i rarely do it. primarily this is because i do my best thinking by water - lakes, oceans, nature - which has resulted in tubs and sinks. i once wrote a midterm paper in my dorm bathroom in the nook under the tall sink. but because its uncomfortable and impractical, and i am not pressured to finish a paper under a time crunch, im kind of...all over the place? sometimes i write in bed with a few candles lit. other times im on the couch in my living room. i have a desk and i did all of chanvember last year at this desk, but since ive been working from home the writing space has become the work space and im still struggling to get the balance right. in all scenarios, i need a good snack (usually hummus + chips/veggies), water, and music playing is an absolute must. if the music is wrong, i simply cant write. thats how its always been.

2. what is your favorite genre to write?

angst, horror, mafia, historical, science fiction. i love love love writing these genres. romance falls thematically into these, but writing strictly a romantic drama is incredibly difficult for me.

3. do you prefer to write on paper, or digitally?

these days im all digital but when i was working in the office i was a mix of both. id scribble ideas on a piece of paper and rip it out to take it home; if i was on the train, id write ideas quickly into my notes app. several paragraphs of hero, replay, currents, and bloodletting exist on paper which i eventually transcribed into docs. but if im sitting down to write a fic, its generally digital.

4. it’s the middle of the night and you suddenly wake up with an idea. what do you do?

i have to flesh out the idea before i transcribe it. it depends on its its a plot idea or a line. if its a line that hits me or feels important, it immediately goes into the planning doc for whatever fic it relates to or suits best. i will then think about this line over and over until it becomes nonsensical an, hopefully though it is highly unlikely, fall back asleep and dream up something inspired by this line.

if its a story idea, i generally dont forget those so i dont need to immediately write them. those kinds of ideas arise out of dreams (assuming it woke me up, in this scenario) and i rarely forget what i dream. in that situation, i will not be able to fall back asleep. anyone who knows me knows that i struggle getting sleep. at best i will average 3-4 hours a night, simply because im thinking too much. so if this woke me up, ill spend the rest of the night thinking about how i want it to go, who it will suit, making a playlist or thinking about songs, gathering inspiration from my fiction fodder blogs, and only when the sun comes up will i consider perhaps its time for sleep. once i officially begin the day, ill review the vague planning doc ill likely have formed in my brain and actually compile it into a tangible document.

5. who is your favorite person to write about?

i mean....hello lmaooo park chanyeol. hes my muse. i do all my best writing for him, even if its unintentional. in other groups, i adore writing for taehyung and namjoon. their minds compel me. ive recently been thinking about writing some pieces for got7 and i do have an unfinished WIP for @red-exo and in all instances writing for JB excites me.

6. do you like making your own characters, or do you usually write about real people?

i mean...its RPS fic on this blog, so its real people but its a face claim. theyre kind of like my barbie dolls i insert into worlds in my head. so in a sense...theyre my own characters but they happen to look like idols lmao conversely, writing original characters (as in wyrm tamer, asas, theoretically TQIS) scares me. ive written rps fanfic for so long its as though ive lost confidence in writing my own characters. this is why many of my stories have started to see the introduction of other characters to practice it.

7. have you ever written a book, or a story with more than 15 chapters (or 100k words)?

ok the answer is yes but its not published. its 30 chapters, 200k words. it was originally a fanfic and ive toyed with editing it over the years in the advent that maybe one day i would publish it if i liked it enough.

fun fact: hero is about 15K away from 100K words. i will be celebrating when it gets there.

8. how often do you get ideas?

like...constantly. all the time. every time i hear music, or watch a film, or read something in a book, my mind commences the ‘would you like to go to another dimension’ quest and i always, without fail, hit the yes button.

9. do you ever get an idea that you really like, but just can’t seem to finish?

*glances sidelong at my masterlist and my 17 unpublished wips* you must be new here

10. what is your least favorite plot?

like...genre? as i said before, idol!verse is something i refrain from reading. i struggle profoundly writing fluff/romantic fluff which is why i try to practice it. plots, in general, in which someone has to go through a makeover of some kind (appearance wise) to suddenly be categorically enough (this isnt just fic...its how i feel in any media). rape/dub-con is a hard pass. otherwise, im down for pretty much anything.

11. tag 5 or more people

@dark-muse-iris @yehet-me-up @jiminiethot @iq-biased @yoonia @jamaisjoons @jenmyeons @fairyyeols @readyplayerhobi @johobi @yixingminseokjongdae @imdifferentshadesofpurple yall i think everyone and their brother has done this tag. if ive tagged you and youve already done it im real sorry :( as always please only do this if you wish

#about me #writers tag game #its absolutely comical how far behind on little tags i am #heavens to betsy

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