#i read about eye part only after ive already made meme so ;-;

[noa-ciharu]

"you're and idiot"-"I'm your idiot FOREVER" meme with Watanuki and Doumeki(Shizuka) but instead of a ring it's Doumeki's right eye that they share

I took artist liberation with this meme. Funny thing with them is that they had both eye and ring wedding yet are somehow divorced.

Watanuki 'accidentally' brought him a ring, which unfortunately turned out to be too small. He told Doumeki to throw it away but Doumeki refused. He's been wearing that ring ever since

[ashistrashhh]

here are some fic recs!! including sakuatsu, bokuaka, kuroken and matsuhana bc i couldnt help myself

if you want, ask me about a certain ship and ill give you some recs!

-sakuatsu-

Marble and Sandstone by red_camellia

rating: G words: 12,937 chapters: 2/2 

author summary: Miya Atsumu only cares about volleyball and nothing else. That is, until he develops a strange obsession with the marble statue of a young man that seems vaguely familiar in his university's arts department. One day that statue comes alive as the very real Sakusa Kiyoomi, and they are left with the mystery of why Sakusa Kiyoomi was turned into a statue and only came back to life when Atsumu touched him. Their new-found connection and the strange mystery turns Atsumu's life upside down, not least because of his growing feelings for Sakusa.

my notes: this was a rlly cute fic!!! 11/10 would read again!!

let it go (paint my body gold) by lunarism

rating: T words: 3,272 chapters: 1/1

author summary: It becomes a routine for them. Sometimes they go grocery shopping and make dinner together, other times they end up talking until Sakusa feels like his own shower and bed is calling him. Every single time Sakusa gets home, shrugs his coat off, balls it up, and proceeds to scream profusely into the fabric for a few minutes.

my notes: pining!!! sakusa!!! also casual painter!atsumu!!! and they paint together!!!

craft a miracle with these hands, lips, (silence) by chrysanthe (sonderesque)

rating: T words: 4,252 chapters: 1/1

author summary: ‘Someone is here to ruin your night,’ his door tells him. ‘You should let them in.’ “I’M HOMELESS OMI-OMI. HOMELESS,” yells the one here to ruin his night. “LET ME IN.”

(What does Kiyoomi sell his sanctuary for?)

my notes: hnnn rlly fuckin cute,, and domestic,,,,

Clipped To You by littleboat

rating: T words: 8,174 chapters: 1/1

author summary: It starts with Hinata Natsu, of all people.

Well, if Atsumu’s being honest with himself, it started way before that, but he’s not, so that’s besides the point. And thankfully, he’s just petty enough to blame all of his problems on a thirteen year old girl.

or Sakusa starts wearing hair clips and Atsumu is more than a little obsessed

my notes: minor kagehina, bokuaka // god these fics rlly make me simp for fictional characters even more than i should. but!! sakusa!!! in hairclips!!! and a pining atsumu!!!

learn how to lay me down in something other than danger, other than fury by rosevtea 

words: 34,211 chapters: 1/1

author summary: All of the ways fellow college TA Miya Atsumu reinvents Kiyoomi's definition of normal.

my notes: god i loved this. it’s a fake dating au and like,, even though they’re “dating” sakusa keeps letting his guard down little by little around atsumu and it surprises everyone. komori and akaashi just know  that they’re were genuinely pining for eachother

among probabilities and a thousand fates by aalphard

rating: T words: 15,675 chapters: 1/1

author summary: prompt fill for “in a world where the red string of fate exists, person a’s finger always twitches when person b, who can see the string, tugs on their string” | or sakusa thought he had a tic and atsumu liked to see his confused expression when it started to happen exclusively when he was around.

my notes: i! loved! it!! so basically atsumu and osamu have the rare gift of seeing the red string of fate, so they know its real but sakusa, like most other people dont believe it exists. so atsumu gives sakusa a (kinda) hard time. rlly cute!! i love soulmate aus!

-bokuaka- 

love in the time of wifi by dalyeau

rating: G words: 4,177 chapters: 1/1

author summary: Akaashi is coming to terms with the fact that he might be romantically interested in his volleyball captain. Hence, doing what any sixteen year old with a problem should do. He asks about it online.

my notes: really cute fic about akaashi asking what he should do about his crush on a site similar to reddit. its kinda a “i didnt know it was you” kind of fic and it made me happy

steam by orphan_account

rating: E words: 8,474 chapters: 1/1

author summary:

 bokuto: why is he so hot bokuto: why am i so gay kuroo: LMAO you mean your vice captain right bokuto: yeah

The coach blew the whistle for practice to begin, and Bokuto drummed his fingers against the bleachers, awaiting Kuroo’s reply. He was about to walk away, when his phone buzzed in his hand.kuroo: i got this bro bokuto: what bokuto: wtf does that mean

Bokuto started to panic.

my notes: explicit!!! but really wholesome. kuroo is honestly the best wingman. i also think this is my favourite bokuaka smutfic?? 

just to miss the sun by rosevtea

rating: T words: 15,126 chapters:1/1

author summary: Everything begins to implode when MSBY Jackals outside hitter Bokuto Koutarou crashes Akaashi's livestream.

my notes: akaashi is a booktuber and bokuto crashes one of his streams. fans begin to speculate. rlly fluffy and can u tell i like bokuaka

brain fish by iceblinks

rating: T words: 12,026 chapters: 6/6

author summary: Akaashi wakes up to a string of texts from an unknown number. 

my notes: i love text fics and i love wrong number aus so u can tell how much i loved this. really fluffy and i come back to it time to time

-kuroken-

us three by honey_s

rating: T words: 5,137 chapters: 1/1

author summary: Kuroo’s gaze flits over to the utensil. His eyes bulge out of his skull. “Wh—is that a meat hammer? Put it back!” Akaashi’s head recoils back in confusion. “I don’t understand the problem here.” “Why on Earth have you got a fucking meat hammer? We aren’t going to kill somebody!” “Well,” Akaashi begins, clearly taken aback, “I apologise for assuming. I had heard Kenma-san had been hurt in school and after getting a message from both of you to meet late at night, I merely filled in the blanks and assumed we were going to beat someone up, for lack of a better term.” “Not literally! I meant metaphorically, or figuratively, or something!” “Idiomically?” “That isn’t a word, Bokuto-san.” “Jesus Christ,” Kuroo groans, dropping his head into his hands. “We're going to jail."

my notes: bokuaka and kuroo are ready to beat someone up for kenma!! and we stan!! 

Cherry Pits and Cat Tattoos by strawberryriver

rating: G words: 6,141 chapters: 1/1

author summary: 

Kuroo has been in communication with his soulmate ever since they were kids. They've known each other for so long that he never really worried about when or how he would meet them. At least, not until he meets the roommate of Bokuto's soulmate.Soulmate AU in which things written on your skin show up on your soulmate. Companion piece/same AU as Serendipty

--------------------

Kuroo Tetsurou liked to write on his arms. Despite his mother's half-serious warnings about “ink poisoning” or staining his skin, he insisted on marking his arms and legs wherever he could. Not like his best-friend-since-always Bokuto Koutaro, who had to write on his arms or he’d forget to breathe, but artfully. He’d draw designs, animals, the occasional chemical compound. The whole idea behind soulmates fascinated him: how one person could mark their arm and someone potentially thousands of miles away, would have that same mark appear. The amount of articles, studies, and books he’d read about the topic, even at a young age, could put an undergrad researcher to shame.

my notes: again with the soulmate au bc i cannot help myself. but really cute!!! probably gonna read this again later!

Boom, Toasted by protostar (hearthope)

rated: T words: 6,782 chapters: 1/1

author summary:

 FROM: yuuji any bets on who hes texting??

FROM: eita He's smiling at his phone. Kuroo, probably

FROM: kentarou Kuroo

TO: fake family Have any of you ever once considered not prying

FROM: eita You deserve it

FROM: yuuji how can we not when ur in love!!

Kenma gets a text from an unknown number. He'd be lying if he said the guy behind it wasn't kind of endearing.

my notes: again, i love wrong number texts. it focuses more on kenma’s friendship, but kenma’s pov with texting kuroo is more than him realizing feelings and stuff. really cute, ive read it multiple times. 

Japan's most subscribed by NeverNothing

rating: T words: 3,631 chapters: 1/1

author summary: Kuroo Tetsurou @blacktetsurou changed his bio : volleyball player, co-owner of Bouncing Ball Corp. and so much more ;)

my notes: i! love! social media! fics!!! really cute and basically people wondering who the mysterious kuroo is to applepi. 

MATSUHANA!!! the underrated gem

texting (with a capital S) by parenthetic

rating: M words: 2,119 chapters: 1/1

author summary: Hanamaki breaks his No Texting In Class rule, and it's all downhill from there.

my notes: honestly more funny than it suggests, but its matsuhana, they’re meme lords.

rated m for by orphan_account

rated: T words: 10,692 chapters: 1/1

author summary: He should have known that there was a Specific Reason™ why it was so absolutely vital that he and Matsukawa specifically meet for a reading of the script. He should have known that there had to be some evil catch beyond sitting in a tiny, cramped studio with his newly sworn enemy.

Hanamaki stares at the title of the script he’d so gracefully neglected the night before.

FORBIDDEN PARADISE

“Excuse me,” Hanamaki starts, raising a pen in the air while staring blankly at the packet in his free hand. “Just to clarify, you want me to record a boy's love CD with Matsukawa?”

my notes: a very good voice actor au. there is some misunderstanding on hanamaki’s part bc he didnt finish listening to matsukawa, and this is really cute and i love matsuhana. 

In A Quiet Night, All Sounds Carry by levyovochka

rating: E words: 4,794 chapters: 1/1

authors summary: “Ah, ah, Too—!”

Hanamaki hates his university dorm.

“—ru, let me cum, please!”

Hold up. That’s a fucking understatement. Let him rephrase it: Hanamaki loathes his university dorm with passion. Detest the damned abomination, abhors it—

“—ru! Coming, coming—”

It has only been a month and Hanamaki already wants to die.

my notes: as u can guess minor iwaoi // rlly well written and bottom hanamaki rights and maybe my favourite matsuhana smutfic??? and hooh boy i simp for matsukawa

call me maybe by totooru

rating: T words: 33,689 chapters: 14/14

author summary: Hanamaki texts the wrong number when trying to extort tips out of Oikawa in order to defeat Iwaizumi in arm wrestling, and then continues to text the witty stranger who had answered.

my notes: minor iwaoi, daisuga, bokuaka // god i think this is my favourite matsuhana fic overall, maybe in general, but my god is it great. this is probably a common rec, but its understandable as to why it is. basically au where makki texts matsun (who goes to karasuno) instead of oikawa for tips to beat iwaizumi at an arm wrestling match. but they keep messaging. and holy shit i love their conversations. please read this, it is 256/10

there we go!! i might go a part two with more ships (kagehina, tsukkiyama and iwaoi) but this took up way to much time lol. i have an essay due in a couple hours. but hope u like these fics as much as i do!!

[sukirichi]

[ BROKEN RECORDS ; asks ] 

💌 — love letter from @kyriaan​

from track 007. 

Okay okay im still kinda meh'ish' but i really wanted to answer you so 😭 ill try to compile both my answer to your answer on my love letter and my hyped review on track 7 <3 so yeah another long ass rant from me 😩💕Suki... Suki pls I totally forgot Tsumu had a crush on us Suki... And then poor Tsumu ir there sulking cause he still likes u- JFBFBDVDVSJCHDHSIA omfg i wanted so much to hug him my baby I like him so much 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 and he was trying so hard to behave while just sitting there sad fhfhfvbbshsjfhbdjaofhffhsoshd TSUMU YOU'RE STILL IN MY TOP 3 BABY 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂 

And then you throw the whole dancing scene with suna and I dont know whos on my top 3 anymore 🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃 SUKIIIIIIII THAT SCENE ALONE GJGJBFBSJCNFNKSOSNF OMFG IM FALLING SO HARD FOR SUNA I THINK? I think my top 3 had 4 dudes in it cause 3rd place has Suna and Atsumu tied?? Hfhfbfbfhdhsja I CANT PICK?? BUT BUT I WAS FEELING STUPIDLY DOWN WHEN READING THAT AND THAT SCENE ALONE MADE ME FEEL SO SOFT IT WAS SO CUTE AND OMG IF SUNA DID THAT TO ME I WOULD DROP ON MY KNEES AND ASK HIM TO MARRY ME CAUSE OMFGGGFFFF DUDE EVEN WENT AHEAD AND SAID THAT WHOLE 'HES GOING TO BE ONE LUCKY GUY'

Oh shit im crying again that scene lets me emotional 😭😭😭😭 someone get me a sunrin irl pls

Anyways the way that suna knows y/n is just.... FUCKING END UP TOGETHER ALREADY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JUST JBVSHSJBEHSISJ

Also how powerful are we?? HOW FUCKING POWERFUL ARE WE TO SCORE SUNA KITA AND TSUMU?? ARE YOU GONNA TELL. ME IF OIKAWA MOFO TOORU APPEARED HE WOULD ALSO BE ON HIS KNEES FOR US?? (okay no wait... No nooo i would legit drop anyones ass for tooru hes that powerful for me like sorry suna was fun but TOORU)

Yo nah but the whole Kita sex scene- let me breath bestie LET ME BREATH CAUSE I WAS HOT BUT AT SAME TIME I WAS FEELING GUILTY 😂😂😂😂 ESPECIALLY WHEN HE WAS FEELING DISAPPOINTED NEXT DAY LIKE KITA PLS BABY WHAT WERE YOU EXPECTING?? 😬😬😬😬 But at same time his 'ill fuck the thought of him out of you tonight' I ALMOST MOANED YASSSSS TELL ME DADDY HOLY SHITTTTT

👀👀👀👀 Still not a kita simp ✌️✌️🤏✌️

Okay Kita deserves the best tho I mean okay he went there as a y/n mom's plan but he did ended up helping alot... Especially cause he knows no matter what y/n heart will always be suna's and pls give Kita the best ending possible cause he deserves someone who will trully love him and show him the world cause mah boy deserves it

*breaths in breaths out* i hated this scene- not in a bad way but shit i hate rejections... To the point im kinda afraid of confessing now cause i despise the feeling of being rejected... The best i can descrive it it like this coldness in your chest that descends your whole body and then you feel frozen in place.. Thats how it feels for me I hate it I absolutely despise it- its also the feeling i have when in a really bad situation and ugh...

The suna part made. Me feel this no matter how many times i reread it the feeling doesnt lessen it keeps being there cause (okay you probably are tired already of me saying this but) Suki I feel like I cant put it in words how much of a fucking good of a writer you are. Ill go ahead and say you are by far my favorite writer the fact i always feel so engaged and the fact i always feel like im there its just- it blows my mind.

I felt like suna was personally rejecting me and i hated it- i swear the moment he said prove it I almost screamed HOW? My brain had to take a moment to just slap me and say: 'kya you reading this is not happening chill-' cause i was already sobbing uncontrollably... I even whimpered the dont leave me 😬 my sadass went to bed feeling so sad thanks to suna... Man i wanted so much to hug him and i swear i would give him as much love as he gave y/n cause well i kin suna alot in this series cause im like that im a giver i treat others the way i would like to be treated (reason why ive been down lately ✌️) and i cant blame suna for finally setting boundaries- his call tho 'do i not stand a chance with you anymore y/n? Are you really not capable of falling in love with me?".... Oh suna... We are in love with you.. We always were we're just fucking stupid 😩

Also mari pls go jump off a cliff <3 youre in need dear cause sleeping with other man just to separate suna and y/n <3 i want so much to punch her 🙂🙃

Now for the love letter part (im so sorry for this being so long ✌️)

You said that if we asked suna he woukd say that he genuinely loved mari okay... Ill go ahead and say yes he liked mari he even learned how to love her and he genuinely cared for her BUT and heres where my personal view comes in so maybe ill be biased here still for me that was just a he loves her as in he cares you also love your friends and care for them but he didnt love her- and by this I mean- he could never be fully committed for her. Yes he loved her and he felt happy with her but like track 7 proved everything he would do in the back of his mind was y/n he deeply wished Mari was her and for that he just loved Mari cause he learned how to care about her- but he never forgot who he trully was in love it. Also the happiness he experienced with Mari was pretty much the one I experienced the bliss of having someone there and that bliss also made suna turn a blind eye to all the red flags from Mari cause to him all the jealousy meant she cared and thats toxic but suna was so desperate for some sort of 'she cares' that even all the possessiveness was bliss for him... And that makes my heart clench for suna...

'suna had to put an effort for the relationship' and saddly i feel like mari didnt... Mari didnt care mari was there because she was a fangirl of suna and got lucky, the way she just discarded him so effortlessly that proved-screamed how much she loved him- she didnt. She was just possessive over him she liked the whole 'hes mine' dynamic and suna was the perfect boyfriend cause he was giving her the world... What he wanted someone to do for him.

Also yeah suna and y/n might have been spurred from them being fuck buddies but well love doesnt really have an agenda- they just clicked, understood each other and had chemistry yeah they had tons and tons of sex but feelings started not because of sex but thanks to their deep connection... Also that dsncing scene in track 7 that alone spoke for their whole relationship- that alone is enough to defend their feelings for each other- yes it might jave started just as fuck buddies but ended up in them loving each other deeply and that is enough love after all doesnt need a perfect start. It can start out of the most stupid ways.

You said life with excitement and fun wouldn't be permanent or real.. Honestly i think it could be.. Cause i mean when you love someone that deeply your life always feels exciting even with the littlest things and that the purest kind of love. Even just going for a walk at the beach would be fun for them or even staying up watching movies i believe suna and y/n would always find a way to make their lofe exciting without much effort.

Also it kinda makes me. Sad when i see some anon saying that y/n and suna relationship are toxic? It makes me. Confused maybe because I was in such extremely toxic one (girl i sweat if you search for toxic relationship my ex's face will be there as an example 🙄) that Mari to me screams toxic! Possessive, manipulative, jealous and a few more if I think closely about it while with y/n and suna they are just two idiots that are hurting each other cause they're just that: idiots one that is afraid to get hurt and the other that keeps hoping- dont get me wrong what they're doing is not healthy but i dont find it toxic honestly

Sorry for the extreme long rant 8D I tried to keep it short but you always make me so hyped to talk about your works 😩

Hfbfbfhfhfieia

[ from saeren ]

NAHHH CUZ I LOVE TSUMU SO MUCH HERE HE WAS SO PRECIOUS. I didn’t write too much about them in college but Atsumu was so cute when he crushed on YN. he was always sending her memes and cute texts like “have you eaten” “good morning” and she’d feel so awkward because she doesn’t know how to let him down easy without hurting him. either way tsumu would feel hurt. AND YES PLS HE WAS SO SAD I MEAN, HIS CRUSH AND HIS BEST FRIEND NEARLY HAD SEX RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM SO THAT’S GOING TO HURT

SUNA AND ATSUMU TIED?? tbh I loved that dancing scene bcos suna is one of my faves and I really wanna do that with him hehehhehe. NAHHH PLEASE SAME IF SUNA DANCED WITH ME AND MADE A WEDDING PLAYLIST I’D BE LIKE boy what’re u waiting for let’s get married now !! n yes he said whoever YN will choose in the future will be one lucky guy IM SOBBING RN

naur cuz. there’s something about dating your best friend. I’m not saying a boyfriend wouldn’t know you as well but there’s something different when you’re best friends first. they could literally share eye contact and have a long ass conversation just from that. their connection is different.

HAJKALA AS FOR THE POWER, BR! YN IS A VERY CHARISMATIC AND FRIENDLY PERSON !! she’s like one of those people you meet that not only are they attractive as hell, but they’re also super approachable and down to earth. that’s why she’s so popular + she’s flirty and can make a stranger feel welcome or comfortable in the first meeting. SGSHJAK I WAS ACTUALLY PLANNING TO ADD OIKAWA HERE BUT I WANNA MAKE IT MORE INARIZAKI CENTRED

the seggs scene with kita SOBSSSS he’s such a soft dom IDC he knows where the clit is, he knows how to hit it. he’s a “your pleasure first before mine” type of guy. kita is perfect, PERIODT. HE GIVES DADDY VIBES HUH AHSKAA HE’S SO SWEET YET SEXY IM IN LOVE WITH HIM ISTG IF SUNA WASN’T OUR BEST FRIEND THEN I’D RUN FOR KITA ALL THE TIME. and I agree, kita deserves the best !! and don’t worry, I actually plan on giving kita the best ending, I promise you he’ll be fine (slight spoiler there)

 YESSSSS OMG I’VE BEEN REJECTED BEFORE AND THAT’S EXACTLY HOW I FELT, MY BODY WAS SO COLD AND I WAS SO CONFUSED LIKE IT MAKES YOU THINK. am I not good enough, did I do something wrong, do you not wanna give me a chance or try it out but ofc I’d never say that out loud. AND KYAAA AAAH IM YOUR FAVORITE WRITER??? NO CUZ YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE ME CRY. I remember ur asks way back reckless era and you used to tell me that my writing made you picture the scenes easily and you felt you were there in that moment and I’m just so grateful thank you so much <33

NO BCOS WHEN SUNA SAID “prove it” I was like. this is it. that’s his hot boy shit moment. man’s has had enough of being thrown from one toxic relationship to another and he also deserves his good moments yknow. and you kin suna here?? BESTIE IM SORRY TO HEAR THAT, SUNA’S BEEN THROUGH A LOT HERE AHSJAKA. that’s true about suna tho !! he’s definitely affectionate + a giver. he’s happy being the one who gives most of the time but he’s a human as well, ofc he’d want to receive the same amount of love back. ALSO HIS PHONE CALLLLLL ugh tbh that part was the one that made me the saddest bcos he’s just. he wants to know if there’s really no more chance. all this time he never gave up. but he’s also tired so if yn says ‘no more’ then he’ll give up. its his way of respecting himself too ahsjaka

YOOOOO I AGREE WITH THAT. he cares for mari as a person but not 100% as a lover. but ofc he’s still thankful for how happy she made him because she was there at his worst. and that’s true, deep down suna still wishes that it was YN who’s right beside him. he will always ALWAYS want her back. he learned how to love mari in a way that was more out of mutual care but not in the way he loves YN. no that’s reserved only for YN – she will remain no 1 in his heart. AND YESSSSS the reason why suna overlooked the red flags was bcos to him, its something that was supposed to be “normal” like no perfect partner existed. he thought mari’s attitude of pushing YN away was normal, and its normal to want your partner’s best friend keep some distance but not to the point of mari’s place where she literally wants the two of them to cut each other out of their lives.

and aww I’m so happy that you realized how I wanted to portray suna and yn’s relationship. they’re….like the definition of youth in its freest form. they were fucking around and doing stupid things, but they had a connection. they had something deeper than just sexual intimacy. even if they never dated or even if YN never proposed the idea of it, they would’ve actually been still great friends. and oooh I actually don’t remember saying life with excitement and fun wouldn’t be real HAHAHAHA so I can’t comment further on that. but I think when I ‘said’ those I probably meant that it’s not always going to be all rainbows and unicorns in a relationship. there’s no such thing as a relationship that’s always happy and sweet 24/7, but ofc it can be sweet and it can be pure even with the little things <33 they just need to work on it.

hmmm tbhhhh… suna and yn are toxic in a way that they refuse to let each other go when they clearly can’t meet halfway. toxic doesn’t have to be limited in just being mari-like in which they are possessive or manipulative, because then if we’d drive deeper into yn’s personality, then she’d be stringing suna all along and that’s unfair of her. she knows suna wants more and yet she remained being friends with him, which totally isn’t a bad thing, but it’s because she keeps flirting with him and is so romantically comfortable with him that she doesn’t realize it’s hurting suna because he’ll give double meanings to that. their relationship is ‘toxic’ because they’re not entirely good for each other, they’re not that ready to be with one another yet and neither is the world letting them be in peace, so forcing their relationship to a point they’re hurting another is the toxic part.

[ from @kyriaan ]

Ah also not me feeling all proud and mushy cause my analysis made you mind blown fjfbdnsjdkpa 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 I guess its also because i see this story as a really big mirror of my own toxic relationship sonits extremely easy for me to get it... And oh boy the way i kin suna here

But dhdhfjdospdhfbsoa 🥺🥺🥺🥺 i feel happy now *huggles*

[ from saeren ] 

and aah yes ofc, I’m really happy whenever someone can see the underlying details I scatter throughout the story !! yeah omg same hahahaha broken records is also half inspired by the toxic people I’ve met. I kin kita here tho and I’m so glad you’re happier now !!

[lenniewip]

Unknown (A Sterek Wrong Number/Celebrity AU)

11.09 PM Unknown Number

>I’m writing songs about you again.

11.20 PM Unknown Number

>its stiles btw.

>in case you deleted my number

>I did.

>I mean I deleted yours.

>but I still remember it apparently

11:41 PM Unknown Number

>I only have 2 lines so far

11:57 PM Unknown Number

>I bleed you from my veins.

>I grieve you like I love you.

>alone.

>its better with the chords.

>u were always better at writing lyrics than me

12:34 AM Unknown Number

>u were better everything than me

2:00 AM Unknown Number

>I hate that I miss you

2:07 AM Unknown Number

>do u want to hook up?

>I promise not to propose again

2:15 AM Unknown Number

>im sorry.

>ignore me.

>im drinking

Derek blinked bleary eyes. His phone screen was the only source of light in his room, as he read through the flurry text messages.

What the hell is a Stiles?

2:17 AM Unknown Number

<I think you have the wrong number

>Lydia?

<no

>oh thank fuck

>I mean

>I’m sorry

>for disturbing ur sleep

>but im just glad I didn’t drunk text my ex all of this

>bullet dodged right?

>is this what near death experiences feel like?

<I wouldn’t know.

>of course

>hey

>seeming as I have you here can I ask you a quick q?

>all my friends are asleep

<probably because its 3am

<everyone’s asleep

>2.39

>and ur not

>asleep that is

>so?

>I’ll take your silence as a go ahead

>what do you think?

>of the lyrics

<im the wrong person to ask

>never experienced heartbreak?

<no

<all song lyrics just look like bad poetry to me

>oh

>yeah I guess it does

>not everyone can be Rupi Kaur tho right?

<do you want to be rupi kaur?

>sure

>not to be dramatic or anything

>but

>I want to be anyone but me

>think id rather be someone like regina spektor tho

<regina spektor?

>singer/song writer

>shes my fucking inspiration

>her lyrics are like poetry to me

>you should listen to her music

<I dont really listen to music

>what the fuck?

>are you an alien?

<no?

>nice fucking try ET

>thats exactly what an alien would say

<…you got me there

>akdjfen

>is this you admitting I was right?

<no

<but this is me going to bed

<because its now 4AM

>already?

>fuck

>ive got an early start tomorrow

>good night random stranger

>and thanks

>for listening

>or reading ig

<good night

//

“You’re late.” Laura frowned, arms crossed.

“Are you going to let me in?” Derek grumbled, still feeling the affects of having stayed up until 4AM the previous night.

Laura didn’t argue she just stepped aside to let him through into her flat. “You’re grumpier than usual.” She noted.

“Didn’t sleep well.”

Derek hated the look she gave him then.

The look that said he was broken. The look that said she wanted to fix him.

“Is…Is it the nightmares again?” Laura’s voice dipped to a whisper, like the question alone would be enough to send him over the edge.

“No.”

An awkward silence defended over the two of them, neither knowing what to say.

Derek clung to the silence like a blanket, wishing things could go back to how they used to be. Back to when they knew how to speak to one another.

But this was enough.

It was enough to know that they were both trying. Failing. But trying.

//

2:40 PM Laura

>I’m here if you need to talk.

//

Derek isn’t good at art, but sometimes it’s the only way he can express himself. Words had never been his forte.

So instead he doodles.

Shitty toddler level doodles that he never shows anyone.

Sometimes he thinks if he could bring himself to show Laura she would like it. Maybe she would even understand it.

But there was a bigger chance that she wouldn’t, and he would feel even more like a stranger to his own sister than he already was.

//

10:18 PM Unknown Number

>I don’t remember it anymore

<You have the wrong number again

>No

>This is ‘not Lydia’ right?

<right

>So here’s the thing.

>I always thought if I needed to text her I could

>And I thought maybe I got her number wrong because I was drunk

>But I can’t remember it anymore

<Oh.

>I have some of her things still

>I don’t think I’ll ever get to return it now

>Unless she messages me first

<When did you two break up?

>Last year

>and I know what you’re thinking

>’it’s October’

>and I should be over her by now

>Trust me I know

>So you don’t need to lecture me

<I wasn’t going to

>Oh

<Stiles?

>That’s weird

<what is?

>I forgot I told you my name

<You should throw away the stuff she left behind.

>you’re right

>I don’t like it.

>but you’re right

>…thanks

<What for?

>for listening

>reading**

>my friends are pretty sick of hearing me complain

>so this is nice

<sure

<anytime

>dope

>no take backsies

<am I going to regret this?

>for definite

>you’re stuck with me now

//

That night Derek saves Stiles’ number as ‘Bad Poet’.

//

Stiles keeps messaging after that.

Stiles messages like they’ve been friends for years, and Derek very determinedly does not analyse why it is he always responds.

Even when there are messages dated from Laura from three days ago that he hasn’t even been able to bring himself to open yet.

He also ignores how when he’s messaging Stiles the gaping pit that had made residence in his chest feels just a little less inescapable.

//

Derek can’t bring himself to tell Stiles his name. He can’t bring himself open up, even though there’s a large part of him that wants to.

He’s not above admitting he’s scared.

//

Derek draws Stiles sometimes.

More accurately he draws a vague pair hands texting on a phone, because he has no idea what Stiles actually looks like.

Derek refuses to let himself dwell on that though, because they are happy drawings.

The pictures of Stiles are pretty much his only happy drawings right now.

//

They don’t always talk about Lydia.

Sometimes Stiles messages Derek song lyrics he’s working on.

Other times it’s memes, or just a bunch of emojis.

Once Stiles had just messaged him what Derek could only assume was a list of everything he had eaten that day.

Sometimes Stiles messages in rambles - and Derek can’t always keep up with the boy’s run away thoughts, but even then he never feels lost the way he does when he’s trying to interact with literally anyone else.

And sometimes it’s 2AM. Those are simultaneously Derek’s favourite and least favourite texts.

//

2:02 AM Bad Poet

>sometimes I feel like too much

>and too little

>at the same time

>u ever feel like that ET?

<not really

>its like I’m infinite, and meaningless

>like a never ending echo

>or a recurring decimal

>I just stretch on and on forever but theres no point to it

>I have no depth

<youre not meaningless

<you’re a rhythm.

<like breathing

>…

>was that a regina spektor reference?

<it might have been

>I thought you didn’t listen to music?

<well someone said her lyrics were like poetry

<so I thought I would check out a few songs

>well fuck

>what did you think?

<she’s good

>you spelt ‘amazing’ wrong

<I still prefer poetry

>of course you do

Derek stared at the texts an ache filling his chest.

Derek was the opposite of infinite. Everything he touched turned to flames.

//

10:30AM Bad Poet

<my sister bought me flower seeds

>I didn’t know you had a sister?

<she’s everything I have

>oh

<and I think she’s trying to trick me into therapy somehow

>…with flower seeds?

<yes

>you sound extremely paranoid

>maybe therapy wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world for you?

<shut up

>noted.

>keep me posted on how your gardening goes

>also

>as a side note

>you know you have me too right?

>if you ever need to talk or anything, I’m right here for you

<thanks

>anytime

//

On Derek’s birthday Laura insists the two of them spend the day together, and Derek knows better than to argue.

She buys him a cake and they spend hours sat next to one another silently. Two strangers desperately trying to keep hold of one another but with an ocean dividing them.

Once their family had been so alive.

And it was all Derek’s fault that was gone.

They both knew it.

Sometimes Derek wondered if Laura hated him as much as he did.

He was too scared to ask.

//

That night Derek chased the ache in his chest away with a drink.

And then several more followed.

//

1:14 AM Bad Poet

<seh haars me

>sorry bud, you’re going to have to try again

>try spell checking before hitting send

<she.hates mee

>who?

<larn

>are you drunk?

<yeh

<tyongs ndrf

*Out Going Call: Bad Poet*

The phone rings twice before being picked up. “Sorry. Stupid keyboard is so small. Impossible to type.” Derek mumbled, his words slightly muffled by his cheek being pressed into the sofa cushion.

“Wow. You’re really sloshed huh?”

“No.” Derek denied. “Just tipsy.”

“Right. So what was it you were trying to tell me? Someone hates you?”

“Laura.”

“Who’s Laura?”

“My sister.”

“Oh.”

“She looks at me like she wishes she could fix me.”

“That doesn’t sound like she hates you, bud.”

“She should. I can’t be fixed.”

“You’re right, because you’re not broken.”

Hearing Stiles say that Derek could almost believe it to be true.

“I mean it. You’re not broken. You’re just a different shape than you used to be. But the shape you are now is beautiful.”

Derek closes his eyes and lets the words wash over him. “Do you sing?” He finds himself asking.

“What?”

“I know you write songs, but do you ever sing?”

“Oh…” Stiles sounds uncomfortable. “I guess… Yeah. I do.”

Derek hummed in the back of his throat. “I bet you have a nice voice.”

“Th-thanks.”

Derek tried to say something else, but all that comes out is a yawn, which makes Stiles let out a jittery laugh.

Derek tries to memorise the sound of It, but it’s so fleeting, it’s already slipping away from him.

“I think you need to go sleep, ET.”

“Yeah.” Derek agrees.

“Goodnight bud.”

“Wait.”

“Yeah?”

“Could you stay on the phone? Just for a bit longer.” Derek clutched on to the phone like if he could grip tightly enough it would make Stiles stay.

I don’t want to be alone. The words die on Derek’s tongue.

“Sure.” Stiles didn’t hesitate. “Of course.”

“Thank you.”

Sleep pulled at Derek’s consciousness, unravelling his grip on reality.

“Stiles?”

Stiles hummed in answer.

“Your shape is beautiful too.”

A small whimper came from the other end of the phone. “Thanks.”

//

7:50 AM Bad Poet

>how are you feeling today?

<better

>good <3

Derek holds his phone tightly and wishes that he had more to say. Just to keep the conversation going.

He also wishes (not for the first time) that Stiles was more than a faceless entity on the other end of the phone.

But it’s the first time he feels the want like a physical ache in his chest.

Derek had never been good with words, but if Stiles was here in front of him Derek would probably give him a hug.

But everything Derek touches eventually dies, and a larger part of him is relieved for the distance.

//

Derek plants the seeds his sister got him that day.

//

9:48 PM Bad Poet

>would it totally weird you out if I wanted to do another phone call?

>don’t feel like you need to say yes

>I just enjoyed talking to you

>and hearing your voice

>ugh.

>why are words so hard?

<I wouldn’t be opposed to a phone call

*Incoming Call: Bad Poet*

“Hey.” Derek feels breathless as he answers the phone, anxious excitement clawing it’s way up his throat.

“Hey.” Stiles sounds equally out of breath, and that helps.

Derek chews on his lip, scrambling for something to say. “What did you want to talk about?”

“I don’t know.” Stiles admitted. “Anything.”

“Helpful.” Derek said sarcastically.

“I mean. There’s one thing. I didn’t want to ask when you were drunk because it felt a little like taking advantage. And I don’t want you to think you have to answer-”

“Stiles.” Derek interrupts before Stiles could break into a full blown ramble.

“Tell me your name.” Stiles breaks. “Please.”

Anxiety grips his heart. But… he couldn’t stay scared forever.

“It’s Derek.”

“Derek.” Stiles repeats his name in a reverent whisper, as if committing it to memory.

And hearing Stiles say his name makes everything worth it.

//

Phone calls become a regular thing between the two of them over the next month. Always between late in the evening and the early hours of the day.

//

The next time Derek spirals he doesn’t drink before he calls Stiles, but he does cry on the phone.

The next morning he wakes up to a text from Stiles.

6:42 AM Bad Poet

>you need to talk to your sister

And Derek knows he’s right.

//

It’s not easy confronting Laura. He has two separate anxiety attacks on the walk to her apartment alone.

But he forces himself to take the dive.

“It’s okay if you hate me.” He tells her, even though it’s not okay. Laura’s hate might be the only thing in the world that could break him beyond repair.

Laura looks horrified as she stares at him. “I don’t- Obviously I don’t hate you Derek.”

“It’s my fault that they’re gone.” Derek addresses the elephant in the room.

If he hadn’t fallen in love with Kate.

If he hadn’t broken up with her, just to try and prove a point when she refused to say ‘I love you’ back…

There never would have been a fire.

Their family would still be here if it wasn’t for him.

“Fuck that!” Laura let out a harsh noise. “Derek, none of this was ever your fault. You were a kid, and even if you weren’t… You never set the fire.”

“I might as well have.”

“No. If anyone… I was your big sister- am your big sister. But I was so fucking wrapped up in myself. I didn’t even know about Kate.”

The last time Derek had seen Laura cry it had been at the funeral, so it took a second to fully sink in what he was seeing.

He found himself crying to.

“I’m so sorry, Der.”

Derek stumbled forwards pulling Laura into a crushing hug. Laura hugs him back just as tight.

They spend hours refusing to let go of one another.

//

He realises he fell asleep on Laura’s sofa when he woke up to the sound of his phone ringing. But he had no idea where it was, and he was too tired to move.

He feels Laura moving and the sound of the phone ringing gets louder before cutting off abruptly.

“Hello?”

“No - Derek’s asleep.”

“Maybe call at a more reasonable time?”

“Who is this?”

“Your voice sounds familiar.”

“Right.”

“Okay. Bye.”

Derek let sleep over take him once more.

//

2:29 AM Bad Poet

>sorry for calling so late

>you’re asleep so I’ll just take to you tomorrow

//

9:07 AM Bad Poet

<sorry, I was really tried

>no worries man

>you’re allowed to have a life outside of me

<was something wrong?

>no I was just bored, and didn’t realise how late it had gotten

>im fine

>how are you?

<im good actually

<I spoke to Laura

>yeah?

>I’m proud of you

>how’d that go?

<we both cried

<a lot

<and I ended up falling asleep on her couch

>look at you, opening up and shit.

>think I might cry now

<shut up

>literally never

>better men have tried and failed to silence me

//

2:40 PM Laura

>Want to see a movie on Friday?

<sure

//

One night Stiles calls Derek just to say his name in stupid ways, and laugh himself stupid after each one.

“Duhreek.”

“Doreck.”

“Fuck. I’m getting a stitch from laughing.”

“You’re so fucking dumb.” Derek is smiling as he said it.

“Deeruk.” Stiles wheezes out.

Derek just closes hie eyes and listens.

“I’m so fucking glad I know you, Stiles.” The words fall out of Derek’s mouth without much thought.

He only realises the weight of his words when Stile’s laughter pulls to a stop.

“I uh-” Stiles stammered. “Me too. Fuck. You’re the best thing to happen to me in…so fucking long. I’m glad I know you too Derek.”

//

Derek finally admits to himself that night that he’d fallen at least a little in love with the stranger from the unknown number.

//

He keeps trying to draw Stiles, but he can’t. Vague shapes just don’t cut it anymore.

He wants to map Stiles out with his eyes and translate it onto the page.

He wants to be able to see the smile behind the laughter.

He wants.

//

1:58 AM Bad Poet

>do you think you day we’ll actually meet?

>maybe not intentionally

>maybe one day we’d pass each other in the streets and not even know

>maybe we already have

Derek couldn’t imagine a scenario where he wouldn’t notice Stiles.

<is there ever a moment when you’re not talking?

<I think id recognise your voice and know it was you

>maybe your face would make me speechless ;)

<I think id still know

<but if you want to be sure… I could send you a picture?

<of me

>dkfajd

>for reals?

>you would do that?

>you?

<well…not for free

>there’s always a catch

>what do you want?

>my soul?

>a blood debt?

>you can have whatever it is

<I meant you’d have to send me a picture too

<geez stiles

The next text takes an unnervingly long time to come through.

>I could do that

>a photo for a photo

>I kind of look like shit rn

>so no judging me

Derek spends the next two minutes fussing and fidgeting to take a good photo. No matter what angle he took it from the bags under his eyes were noticeable, and so was the week’s worth of stubble he had yet to shave off.

And maybe this was a terrible, awful, idea.

But Derek would send one hundred bad pictures if it meant getting to see one of Stiles.

He forced himself to press send on the last picture he took.

As he pressed send another photo came in.

Derek’s fingers shook as he hit the button to download the image.

His heart stopped.

Stiles was beautiful in every sense of the word, and Derek found himself unable to look away. Even when he heard the small dings of incoming messages.

But he couldn’t ignore them for long, because it was Stiles. And when ever Stiles messaged Derek had to answer.

>Fucking hell

>are you for real?

>you gave me a heart attack

>am I being catfished right now?

>when do you think you were going to tell me you’re the most fucking beautiful man to exist ever?

>how the hell to you look like that as 2AM!?

>Derek

>oh my god

>you gotta respond my dude because I’m freaking out a little bit

>still there?

>did my selfie scare you away?

>I would have tried harder for a nice photo if I knew I was talking to an adonis

>Derek?

<still here

>of thank fuck

>so…

<so?

>come on

>your going to give me a complex

>the selfie…was it okay?

>I know it’s not much

>but we can’t all be greek gods

<its beautiful

<you’re beautiful, stiles

>oh

>thanks

//

Derek is so far gone that he makes the picture of Stiles the home screen on his phone.

//

9:49 AM Bad Poet

<Laura wants me to meet her boyfriend

<this is all your fault

>how is this my fault?

<because she never wanted to introduce us before

<and then you got me to talk to my sister

<and now she wants me to meet him

>…and this is a bad thing?

<yes

>because?

<I don’t make good first impressions

<it’s going to be awkward

>yeah probably

<you’re not helpful

>I wasn’t trying to be ;)

>have fun, Derek!

//

Meeting Laura’s boyfriend wasn’t as awkward as Derek thought it was going to be. But it was strange.

Derek hadn’t been expecting to meet someone so soft and kind. He was nothing like any one that Laura had dated before.

But he also wasn’t used to seeing Laura smile as much as she did around him.

Maybe not all change was bad.

//

Derek tells Laura about Stiles by accident. Or more accurately he mentions Stiles once by accident (not even by name) and Laura had badgered him until he admitted that he had made a friend through a wrong number.

“There’s a lot of weirdos out there.”

“I know.”

God did Derek ever know.

But Stiles is different.

“Just…be careful.”

“I am being. I promise.”

Laura reluctantly lets it go after that. “So…what’s he like?”

“He’s…he’s like bad poetry.”

“Oh god. You’re in love with him aren’t you?”

Derek can’t bring himself to deny it, but he does tell Laura to shut up.

//

Derek fully embraces being in love with Stiles on the day he tells Stiles about his drawings. He’d never told anyone about them before - not even Laura. But telling Stiles had been easy.

‘It reminds me of line art’ Stiles had said when Derek had sent him a photo of the doodle he had been working on. “I love it’.

A warmth flutters through Derek’s veins.

//

It all goes sideways on the day Laura goes on Derek’s phone to check the time.

She’d raised one eyebrow at him looking amused.

“I thought you didn’t listen to music?” She said, a teasing note to her voice.

“I don’t.” Derek shrugged.

“A huh. So why do you have a picture of Stiles Stilinski as your wallpaper?” She asks.

It’s so startling to hear Stiles name coming out of Laura’s mouth that Derek’s brain refuses to function properly. “How do you know Stiles?” He asks weakly.

Laura laughs. “He’s not exactly a niche celebrity Der. He was a really famous YouTuber before he started selling albums.”

Derek doesn’t know what to say to that. He blinks as his world slowly unravels before him.

No.

She had to be wrong, because Derek couldn’t be in love with a celebrity. Stiles couldn’t be…

“Hey are you okay? You look really sick?”

“He’s famous?” His throat is dry.

“Yes? Are you okay? What’s wrong? You’ve got to speak to me Der. Use your words.”

Derek just shakes his head because he can’t.

“It’s him.” He manages to get out.

“What are you talking about?”

“Laura. It’s him.”

It takes a moment to click but Derek knows when it does because a look of thunderous wrath takes over Laura’s face.

“I’ll kill him.” She seethes, shaking with anger. “What kind of fucking punk thinks that this is a good prank to play?”

“What?”

“No one is getting away with catfishing you, Der. I’m going to hunt this fucker down, and then I’ll rip him so many new ones that he going to look like SpongeBob when I’m done with him.”

And god, Derek hadn’t even considered the thought that Stiles might not even be Stiles. The thought of Stiles being a liar…

The gape in his heart grows a little bit bigger.

And it all falls apart.

//

It takes hours before Derek can convince himself to confront Stiles.

11:08 PM Bad Poet

<you’re stiles stilinki

>fuck

(And yeah, it was really him).

>how did you find out?

<Laura

>I was going to tell you

<Were you?

>Yes

>I’ve wanted to for ages

>It just never felt like the right time to bring it up

<I wish you had decided on the right time was sooner

>Me too

>I’m sorry

>Please don’t hate me

Derek did not think it was possible for him to hate any part of Stiles.

<I don’t

>Thank fuck

>seriously

>can I call you?

<sure

Derek closed his eyes after sending the text and waited for Stiles to ring. A heartbeat later his ringtone sounded off.

“Hey.”

“You believe me right?” And Stiles sounds more frantic than Derek had ever heard him before.

“I believe you, Stiles.”

“Are you sure, because I can prove it if you want? I can do a video call? Or I can tweet literally anythi-”

“Stiles.”

“Yeah?”

“You don’t have to prove anything to me.”

Stiles lets out a small whine, that reaches through the phone line and yanks at Derek’s already tattered heart, unraveling him just a little more.

“Meet me.” Stiles said, taking Derek by surprise.

“What?”

“Please. I meant to throw a please in there, I’m just really fucking nervous right now. Meet me please. In real life. I uh- I was going to ask when I finally told you about the whole being a celebrity thing. It’s still weird to say that out loud. That’s part of why it was so hard to tell you. But the point was you beat me to the punch with the whole reveal thing, but I still wanted to ask.”

“Stiles…”

“And it’s not that I was trying to use my influence or fame to pressure you into meeting me. I just wanted to be in a space where we were one hundred per cent honest with one another before I asked you. You can still say no. Of course you can, I don’t know why I’m- my point is I hope you don’t say no.”

Derek feels his heart break in two.

“Stiles…I can’t.”

“Oh.”

He hadn’t fully realised just how many worlds apart the two of them were when he had fallen in love with Stiles. It felt even more impossible than it had before.

“I’m sorry.” The words leave him feeling hollow.

“No. Don’t apologise. This is just me getting carried away. It’s okay.”

I love you. The words never leave Derek. They can’t leave him.

There was no way this could work, and he was far too scared of breaking the tentative connection they had with his useless words.

It was better for him to just… fall out of love.

//

6:17AM Laura

<it’s really him

>are you sure

<I’m sure

>what are you going to do?

<nothing

>Derek you’re in love with him

<I’m aware

<it doesn’t matter

<it wouldn’t ever work

>I’m sorry

<don’t be

<I’m going to be fine

>Im coming over with wine

//

That night Derek fills pages and pages of his notebook with drawings of Stiles.

When he gets a message from Stiles at 11PM- for the first time since they started messaging- Derek leaves it unopened.

//

He never ignores a message again after that, and life moves on. Stiles still messages him all the time, but he never asks to call anymore.

Derek misses his voice so much that he goes onto youtube and listens to his music.

He buys all three albums Stiles released and it still doesn’t feel like enough.

//

He fills an entire notebook with doodles of Stiles.

It’s still not enough.

//

1:11 PM Bad Poet

>I wrote you a song

>I know you don’t listen to music

>but it felt weird to not a least send you a link

>bad poetry at 2:00am

The link leads Derek to a youtube video of Stiles holding a ukulele and staring with a soft smile at the camera.

“Hey guys. It’s been a while, huh? But I guess I finally found inspiration. So here we go.”

The song is beautiful, but even more beautiful than that was Stiles.

When the song reached the end Derek doesn’t hesitate to hit replay.

He listens to the song ten times before he realises he’s crying - and he knows that he’s never going to ‘get over’ Stiles because he doesn’t want to.

//

3:00 PM Laura

>have you seen the video?

<he sent me a link

<he wrote a song for me Laura

<I love him so fucking much and he wrote a song for me

>fuck

<what do I do?

>what do you want to do?

<I don’t know

>I think you should look at his twitter

<?

>I wasn’t going to say anything because you said you wanted to get over him

>but I think you need to see it

>@stilesstilinki

//

@stilesstilinski

I want to hug him

@stilesstilinski

Get you a guy that will stay up with you until 4AM talking about literally anything

@stilesstilinski

Why do I alway fall for people so far out of my league? rip me I guess.

@stilesstilinski

He makes me want to write poetry

Derek spends hours scrolling through Stiles’ twitter.

He scrolls far enough back that he gets to the part of his timeline where his twitter is littered with pictures of Lydia, which causes the ache in Derek’s chest to grow. But he can’t stop looking because Stiles looks so happy.

And Derek falls impossibly more in love.

He lets himself acknowledge for the first time that Stiles might love him back.

And everything else?

It’s worth it.

Because Stiles is worth everything to Derek.

//

2:00 AM Bad Poet

<so I looked at your twitter

>fuck.

>how much did you see?

<all of it

>tight

>please excuse me while I go die now

>bye

<don’t leave yet

<I had something I wanted to ask you

>did you want me to delete the tweets?

>I can do that

>I’ll just delete the whole account

>I am my own worst enemy so this won’t be a problem

>actually Jackson Whittemore is my worst enemy

>but I’m a close second

<stiles?

>yup?

<Will you go on a date with me?

>alkdjf

>yes?

>Ofc yes?

>are you being serious?

>because this would be a cruel prank if you’re not serious

<I’m serious

>yes.

>yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes.

>holy shit

>theres no fucking universe where I say ‘no’ to that question from you

>im so fucking in love with you

>is it too soon to say that?

>I don’t even care

>I’m speaking my truth

>you obviously don’t have to say it back

>im going to woo you so hard Derek

>you’ll have to love me back eventually

>I’m going to write you poetry

>hell I’ll even read poetry for you

>ill give the whole fucking moon to you

<why would I want the moon?

<im not gru?

>despicable me

>that was a despicable me reference.

>you don’t listen to music, but you watch despicable me?

>you’re such an enigma to me Derek

>god I love you so much

<stiles?

>too much?

<no

<I don’t think I could ever have too much of you

<I love you too stiles

<so much

<I just don’t want you to get your hopes up

<I might not be able to live up to it in real life

>impossible

<seriously stiles

>I am being serious

>I’m already in love with you Der

>you don’t have to do anything more than you’ve already done

>you could wear a potato sack, and spend the whole night not saying anything at all

>and I would still be in love with you

>all you have to do now is show up

<…I can do that

>perfect

//

TWO YEARS LATER

@stilesstilinski

Hey @JacksonWhittemore, remember when you told me I would die alone? Well I just got engaged to the love of my life. So checkmate fucker.

[theskyexists]

ive bought harrow the ninth and am now attempting to reread act 1 so that i may understand it better

ianthe clearly proposes that Harrow not get herself killed trying to bring Gideon back - reading it over again. instead to take the future and somehow?? be really powerful together and forget about their cavaliers. but harrow says no

im once again struck with how offhand this book introduces the concept that the empire goes out to deliberately kill planets over a couple of generations

now im not sure....there also seems to be an implication that there’s no aliens - because they say only humanity has a soul - but client planets were said to rebel - i guess the human colonisers rebel against central solar system command sometimes? but then what enemy does the Cohort fight? possibly it’s just bigotry that they think aliens dont have a soul

but like - they find LIVING PLANETS and then - kill them slowly. to the extent that they need to move the entire population. WHAT? why do they do that??? just so they can do some bone tricks???!

what the fuk

so how did the planets get murdered again? and which solar system planets could really have been said to have had enough life to have a soul?? cos like, only one of them is really known for that

why did God give Harrow the choice to go back home TWICE if he was never going to let her?

once again, why mess with the Hand candidates if God was always gonna come for Cytherea? just to mess with him more?

yeah - harrow keeps hearing and saying ortus ninegad but the rest of the world remembers gideon.

Harrow truly is totally mentally shattered AND time is totally fucked up

but sometimes in the fake-ish timeline Harrow remembers but doesn’t remember Gideon - like how she notes that there were two womb-bearing members of the Ninth who were the right age...but only elaborates on herself

for some reason - Harrowhark remembers Ianthe’s arm ripped from her by Cytherea - but now it’s whole. for some reason

that letter is still so what the fuck

‘like you did the last time’ - hm harrowhark sewed Ianthe’s lips shut? how did she come by the power?

is ianthe - calling Harrowhark God?

throughout the first act, they keep referring to time, having too much time, or not mastering time, or not having enough time, ‘this time’ etc.

the eggs you gave me all died - that’s DIRECTED at Harrow, is my theory

ok but the planet revenants come after Lyctors and also God (- God became God when? at the Resurrection) before the Lyctors happened - God was still at Canaan House - despite the Revenants already coming right...

is Teacher criticising god and lyctors for leaving Canaan House lol?

ok so yeah Canaan House WAS part of a ‘last sacrifice’

ok so - Harrowhark is a little resurrection miracle. This implies that God killed a lot to resurrect the Houses.

wow God is being a very dad to Harrow

Blood of Eden - BOE - they turned their back on the solar system. now they hate necromancy. in other words - when the solar system died, God resurrected it - but before that point some humans had fled - lived. and they can see what absolute fuckin horror necromancy is ACTUALLY

so what im getting is...maybe...god resurrected humanity by killing the planets...?

i just realised that Ianthe has taken Gideon’s place as the smartass in the room - the counterweight to Harrow’s portentousness

what the fuck do augustine’s comments to Mercy mean???? why is she unloveable? why would he say that God doesn’t need her? and why is it obscene that Augstine calls God John? What is the dangerous game she’s playing? What was the foul implication??

‘Then that is your downfall’ OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Harrow BURN!!!

what i don’t get is - the Cohort is an army - when they land they die because they’re being killed by an enemy at the front - NOT in pure sacrifice for thanergy. so why does only the death of humans and planets produce thanergy. why is the death of the enemy not good enough? they don’t have fuckin souls?? they MUST be complex life. and doesn’t a planet produce a constant stream of thanergy? but i guess it’s not dying enough - generally its life maintains itself in ecosystems.....unless a fuckin lyctor ‘makes the juice flow’ i guess!

sometime in the next book there IS gonna be a ‘are we the baddies’ meme. muir loves memes and she stuck skulls on absolutely EVERYTHIGN. Like WHY THE FUCK would you colonise planets if you gotta kill them for it? LOL????

huh? augustine just said that they can’t use necromancy when in the river - but mercy mocked harrow for having hypothermia ? implying her fundamental failure was not being able to necro while in the river? Harrow’s inability was what was wrong partly right?? oh no ok it’s how Harrow tried to compensate for her body going lights out while in the river. alright. that was written confusingly

how and why is this a completely different story???

The Sleeper.......is Harrowhark? the suit is too close to what she was wearing killing the asteroid. and the sleeper is lying on ‘something’. oh they just straight up say it lololol

ortus got into trouble 19 years ago...hhmmmmm wasn’t Gideon 19??? huh? which is why Mercy started at Harrow’s peculiar YELLOW eyes that Harrow can’t see herself i think

‘i do things face to face’ ortus says after stabbing harrow. HUH? why go for a stab if decapitating would have done the job? just to give her a small chance to fight back? (face to face?)

why not tell God that ‘his’ attack dog is trying to kill you?

why does Ortus the First want me dead? ‘who?’ ---uh. has she forgotten him completely (time shit) or is she saying the wrong name? mercy wouldnt reply like that then right?

she told him and he’s like - oh well guess you gotta just get through repeated almost-successful attacks on your life. ???? THANKS GOD!!!

‘you, with your unfortunate memory for poetry’ HA! i love how we are reminded that she knew all the fuckin damn books nearly by heart which is insane!

Teacher suggests his dying at least three times a day?? hahaha what?.........................is this purely a meme reference. is that meme the mental image im supposed to have of Teacher??????????? is this trying to say that this meme was preserved in the amalgamation of human life that is Teacher?? oh my god....

no.....palamedus and camilla....did old Harrow really kill them.....

seems like all the murders were consensual maybe?

it’s probably too straightforward that Harrow created and alternate timeline and made for a Harrow Lyctor without Gideon dying and kicked her to the original? maybe she took Ianthe and Coronabeth with her bc she needed Ianthe’s help

is this Cytherea or Dulcinea? Pro seems real this time. why does Dulcie call Pal and Cam strands and cords?

did muir put in a fuckin secondary school S - muir’s just like - im gonna put in all the memes as a nod to ancient human culture

still no idea what the messages are that Harrow is getting

This Harrow is so goddamn sick. I mean she was sick before, but at least she had Gideon. Really do feel that that helped her. now she didn’t have that -- AND she’s getting slapped with trauma another five times

if ortus can undo the thanergy of her own bone then why not simply crumble HARROW into dust? cos there’s a core of thanergy fusion in her that he can’t undo?

FLKJDFKLJSDLFSD fucking IANTHE ‘Wow! Not how I imagined this happening, at all.’  FUCKIN HELL

Harrow with her fucking fucked up dramatic inner monologues about weakness and Ianthe comes in with this shit. she really is doing Gideon proud here.

Did love Harrow’s musings about how only a truly idiotically obedient Cavalier would be the only one to keep to a vow of silence. HAH! nice one muir

‘have you taken the time to rest lately?’ asks God, YOUR FUCKING SAINT IS TRYING TO KILL HER IN THE FUCKING BATH YOU IDIOT AHAHAHAHA

JEZUS FUCKING CHRIST - try and be normal Harrow! try and make some soup and read a book! Harrow: *does and then hyperventilates hidden under her bed after 86 hours of zero sleep*

she was trying to remember what cutlery did. why is this so goddamn funny hahahaa. this book has ONLY been Harrow being in extreme states of misery ALL THE TIME both mentally and physically to the point of death

GOD IS HAPPY THAT SHE MADE SOUP AND DOESNT EVEN FUCKIN NOTICE SHE’S NOT SLEPT FOR A WEEK SOMEHOW THIS IS THE MOST HILARIOUS SHIT

thats what you fucking GET you piece of shit god! you push a prodigy teen to the brink and she fuckin explodes your lyctor and feeds you her fuckin marrow. maybe you shouldn’t have ignored her goddamn fucking understandable distress

SHE FUCKIN HITS HIM WITH THE FUCKIN TRUTH what an IDIOT of a God. he truly doesn’t understand mortality anymore huh

I LOVE HOW MERCYMORN CONTINUES TO MAKE HARROW YOUNGER IN HER HEAD AHAHAHAHAHAHA she’s only nine years old!!!hahahaha

naturally God focuses on how - wait- actually harrow is truly an INSANE necromancer - INSANE

still no idea what the fuck is going on in the not-past

aww. ianthe’s scent soothes harrow now. begrudgingly of course.

i thought this was gonna be lovely angsty harrow/gideon but naturally that did not happen

harrow is comfortable! first time in the whole book! one moment of comfort!!!

‘love my twin, also murder’ tridentarius pffjlfjdljf

‘how i crave your honeyed words’ hah

wow this scene sure is weirdly sexual with these similes lol ‘as though she had shyly undressed for you’ ok there Harrow you about to chop her arm off calm it probably sex repulsed thirsty teen

i do love how....there is this theme again that’s everybody underestimating the main character - who is actually a prodigy. Gideon had that with the sword and Harrow also has it with being a Lyctor now

it’s so telling that these Saints would rather be shits to these babies than help Ianthe grow a new fuckin arm

i dont see why Ianthe can’t work off this bone construct which is her own stuff and put some flesh on it since SHES A FLESH NECRO?

Ianthe that’s super gay

wow muir really never delivers on full gay does she??? i dont mind but i think it’s so striking hahaa

how are Harrow and Ianthe still hung up on the Saint of Duty? i mean, if they dont have him against the RB they’re dead anyway

why is the First going through rain and ice?

Harrow haunted? naawwww

i cant help but like mercymorn though - she cares. it’s soured ages ago but she cares.

awww Harrow needs Ianthe to sleep

Ianthe constantly poking Harrow for her prudishness is so goddamn funny.

‘It’s the type of energy i wish to take into my future’ AHAHAHAHAHAAH IANTHE MY GOD

‘i always forget you were an honest to go nun ... and six years old to boot if you listen to mercymorn’ HAHAHAHAHAHA

‘you look good enough that im proud of my handiwork but not so good that i’ll be consumed with lust and ravish you over the nut bowl’ fpdfjsdfkjsd this is what harrow means with crude japery and yet....

mercymorn has started to call harrow three years old. i will NEVER tire of this gag

all of the blood of eden stuff happened in the past 25 years??? god was on the erebos, but he also remembers ortus kicking the commander out of an airlock? that was in the last 25 years??

Ianthe‘s carressing the nape of Harrow’s neck. hmmhm

its honestly super weird if you think about it for more than 10 seconds that theyre talking about their cavaliers whom they murdered (im still not sure if all consensually) ten thousand years ago (!) and how hot they were that just seems.....fucked up

Harrow is like WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! basically all the time but especially now. yep well that was to be expected i guess lololol

Harrow being painfully frozenly fascinated by (god having) sex and deeply repulsed is very Harrow

oh nooooo well that was a perfect kiss between them really

the funny thing about Harrow is that though she is so completely fucked up - just like Gideon - she is fundamentally a helper.

why wouldn’t Harrow have thought of blood wards! she knew he could only bleed thanergy! it;s the first thing i thought - just use not bone wards then!

ortus thinks anastasia is in Harrow - which makes me think - why does he think that’s possible?

mercymorn now calls Harrow a two-year-old. i am waiting for embryonic genius

so did they use the river to get to the planets theyre killing?

Harrow feels the peace and pleasure of a stroll through nature that she has come to kill

oh my god - Harrow somehow saved Cam and Pal is still attached to the mortal plane!!

Harrow helps Cam risking herself entirely just like that. yknow as she does

i wonder if Pal has realised that Harrow is not who he remembers

i think he realised once he realised haz mat suit was Harrow also...

ianthe xo’d harrow.....lol

im sad that original harrow is definitely dead.... :( loved her. guess gideon’s not coming back either. not sure how the second adept survived. she didn’t survive in the original timeline either. but she was ‘killed’ in the other - just like coronabeth..so that means soemthing

this whole ‘flashback’ stuff to Canaan House is Harrow being in the River the whole time. the cold temperatures, the blood, the creatures theyre fishing from the sea that apparently abominations

after all, we’ve just learned about river bubbles and a haz!harrow that can change their parameters.

all the people ‘dead’ she’d not spoken to much or at all beforehand. like they’re NOT real, in the River. the only one not like that is Dyas...

the fact that the narrative keeps calling Dulcie, Dulcie means she’s really Dulcie.

there’s giant organs falling from the ceiling. this is definitely the river

they talk about time AGAIN

the Body is the devil who let herself be used to complete the work of Teacher and the Lyctors in his mythology....hmm. and when they realised the price (AFTER? the work was done?) they wanted her dead but he buried her....SHE allowed them to become Lyctors?? I still don’t understand why the heck that was necessary

the king is dead, long live the king. hmmmm

Harrow comes onto a hallucination of the devil who was her first crush with the voice of her parental figures and the eyes of a love interest she can no longer remember - which is actually not precisely a hallucination probably - and gets summarily rejected lol OUCH (the Body didn’t mean it that way ofc)

Harrow is so repressed on every single front but definitely sexually

I love Mercy

so there is death beyond death. does everybody go into the river and become a mad horrid ghost? like - is that everybody’s fate? how awful

ok so God DID resurrect the planets also. ? but like. then why are there resurrection beasts?

what does resurrection mean? and who killed the planets in the first place?

BECOMING NONE HOUSE, LEFT GRIEF

oh.....my god.

ARE YOU AND IANTHE BEING SAFE!!?!?!?! HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA

HIS BODYGUARD IS THE DEVIL??

so the destruction of Earth somehow made God? as though it was something that simply followed from it

A.L. was destroyed in the first assault? Of an RB

so the RB’s were happily running off in the other direction until they decided to fuck around and kill their mates to become immortal and powerful - then the RB’s turned around and came towards them - which meant leaving the planets God had resurrected forever.

what the fuck god??? hahahahaa

God always seems so likeable goddamn.

Harrow is such a dramatic bitch. Affection??? JUST KILL ME!!! KILL ME!! LET ME SMASH THE GLASS SO I CAN KNEEL IN IT AND BLEED ALL OVER THE FLOOR!!!!

Harrow goes into her fun kid's game of not dying to traps.

But she instantly calls him father. OH MY GOD

HE DOESNT BELIEVE HER!!!

'then that will be your downfall' - is what Harrow said to Augustine AND IT WILL BECOME TRUE FOR THEM ALL

to be dismissed like that where it hurts most - to have God Dad dismiss her only slip of comfort her only pillar of truth in this crazy old world

'nobody had watched you leave'

SOMEBODY HAD - I love all the deliberate references to Gideon

Temporal lobe!!!! Again the temporal lobe!!!

So why was it again that Harrow refused to be locked in with the Emperor?

So isn't God gonna check out Harrow's temporal lobe? He's just gonna let that mystery go to its death?

WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKKKK

Muir what the fuck??!!!!!!!!

Oh it was.....a hallucination?

Always love how this dips into genuine horror sometimes

What's weird is that Lyctors seem made for the task of going into the river and killing Resurrection Beasts - instead of the other way around.

So say - that the sword somehow holds Gideon's soul (we've just learned that that's possible from Pal and also Ortus trying to get Pent to summon his grandma by his sword) - does it not make sense that Harrow 'for some reason' stabbing Cytherea's corpse with it transferred it to her? Or maybe it's SOMEHOW Anastasia if Ortus was macking on her. But Ortus thought HARROW had/was Anastasia.

IANTHE WANTS TO MARRY HARROW - HAHAHAHAAHAHAHA

Every fucking chapter doesn't make things any clearer. This is worse than Gideon the ninth

Hello???? Am I reading a canon alternate universe roleswap au??? What the FUCK is going on. This is like - if they hadn't gassed the 200 and her parents instead adopted Gideon for her clear necromantic gifts which nobody noticed somehow the other time round

I do love how Aiglamene was the sole source of slight comfort in Gideon's life. And Crux was Harrow's - apparently in any sequence of events.

Harrow is tumbling through timelines. But how can you do that just by messing with the lobe?

WHAT!! WHAT!!!

Is this...is this what I think it is??? Is thi

The fanfic roots are STRONG in this one. In fact I believe I've READ this fanfiction

Harrow's temporal fever dream (in the river?) HAD HER (Decidedly Not) VYING FOR 'HER DIVINE HIGHNESS' hand, which is either the Body or Gideon or both lololol. Seeing as the previous had Gideon as the main unnamed titled character - I bet it's Gideon ahahaaga

A fucking. COFFEESHOP AU. OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDD

We've had roleswap, 'ball' au, and coffee shop au populated by the ghosts of the dead LOLOL,

I knew it!! I knew that they were ghosts and that they were in the river!!

Ok so but when did Harrow shoddily create the bubble? When she adjusted her memories at the start? When is this. Ah Harrow has the same thought hahaa

So the stage is a - she was building her memories while sleeping?

Why is that she cannot access her lyctorhood like this...

I just realised that Harrow's mind made the party food taste like SALT based on Ianthe's cooking!!!! Hahahaha

THE NARRATOR IS GIDEON. But it doesn't sound like Gideon though

There's more to the work than simply preserving Gideon's soul though. There are next steps that Harrow prepared for that Harrow doesn't know about yet

Who was the sleeper and why was it in Harrows riverscape of memories that she ACCIDENTALLY??? made

Ok she sounds like Gideon NOW

Gideon no it's not because she didn't want you! It's because she wanted you to live!!!!!

And she succeeded....your soul is INTACT in her body!!!! You're protecting her with full consciousness!! How the fuck. And why didn't that happen before when she went to the bubble?

Are the ghosts of the contestants happy that they got pulled out of the River briefly? Or were they so briefly in there they couldn't remember?

She returned them to the RIVER???? is that really such a kind fate????

Something has gone wrong in the River - yeah because why r all these ghosts going insane and stoppering it up like slib

Do love how Muir has found a way to give these characters more screentime

I actually said 'oof' when Harrow screamed at Ortus - oof that really is embarrassing. GodDAMN Ortus you stepping up with the emotional support!

I've EVEN read the damn fanfic in which they switched bodies. My god.

A. L. apparently is thought to wander about still. I think she's the body....I do believe she's the body. That's why the Lyctors are scared of her

She thought - what. Mercy is talking about blood of Eden's commander. What is going onnnnn still!!!! Mercy is the traitor I guess. But how is blood of Eden connected to the ninth house and the body?

Why is Mercy awake on the mithraeum and not in the River anyways?

Gideon.... And the commander were in cahoots? So did A. L. and Anastasia an the body and the commander all have the same eyes?????

What the fuck is going on indeed.

Cytherea seems to have had a plan B for getting revenge on the Emperor. Or something had a plan B with her corpse as the main weapon.

If guns are so effective against people why aren't they still used.

The messages are from the commander. I.e. Gideon's mother. I.e. Anastasia? We never explicitly did learn how she met her end no? Gideon was convinced that Anastasia had taken the baby. It just seems incongruous how the Emperor spent like 80 years on the Erebos and the Lyctors were faffing about - meanwhile there was this drama going on in the last half century?

I love Abigail Pent. Love that I got to see more of her.

I'd honestly forgot that Judith was alive by the end of all of that shit

The sleeper is -the sleeper is Gideon's mother. Also. She's haunted by her mother. SOMEHOW. what the fuck? They couldn't drag her spirit back from the river they said!

'you wizards never learn' there's a whole modern regular sci fi world and culture out there! Or maybe it's just a. L.

Is it? Or is it Anastasia? Or is it the commander? Or are they the same thing?

The sleeper wants Harrow's body. Somehow invaded it - probably from the river? - which means its Anastasia or the commander. Which means that whatevers possessing Cytherea is someone else.

In retrospect - Harrow's coldness to Ianthe talking about - to what her - seemed nonsense at the time - in the very first part - doesn't quite fit.

Oh my fucking GOD Gideon is fighting Ianthe for messing around with her fucking girlfriend - who is HARROW, who actually, Ianthe wants to marry.

They just went from ramping up to a serious fight to Gideon dropping Corona's name and suddenly they're like - ah we got more important priorities actually.

Augustine's first thought at thinking a.l./the body (?) is in Harrow is John - and the Second is Joy!(mercy?)

'How I was gonna have to take showers with all your clothes on.' fuckin Gideon hahahaha

Wonder if Ianthe truly believes what she's saying - that Harrow was trying to rid hersel of Gideon. It's preposterous. It's just hurtful talk.

GIDEON REALLY THOUGHT THAT LOOK TO MEAN THAT HARROW DIDNT LOVE HER??? THIS IS A CONSTANT BARRAGE OF ALL THE ANGSTY DRAMATIC SHIT IVE BEEN YEARNING FOR

Oh my fucking god Gideon calling Ianthe out for being in love with Harrow in the most iconic way ufsojdjdodnd 'she wants the D - the D stands for dead'

Crazy brain-mutilated Harrow sure made it seem that way I can tell ya that!!

Hahahahahaha Ianthe remembering Harrows prudish Ortus/Cytherea shit. Amazing

Aw Gideon really went and fell right into the cavalier/bone mistress shit huh. And trying to shield Harrow - well as noted before - very necessary because harrow has been having a godawful miserable time - mostly because of herself.

Gideon appreciating Ianthe's pun xD

Love how neither of them position themselves as the love of Harrows life but instead as inexorably attached to her by the sheer role they play in her life - they don't dare aspire to what they think they can't get.

Muir realises this is gonna end up as a Gideon/Harrow(/theBody)/Ianthe ship right?

Oh WOW THIS IS AMAZING. nonius the legendary nonius!!! Come to protect Harrow!!!

For some reason the Sleeper can manipulate the rules of this River bubble and doesn't seem surprised about it

If all her cavaliers were this excited for death, she was definitely the problem.lololol. somehow Harrow, you inspired undying loyalty in even a person that you treated abominably

Yeah Harrow you slowpoke. If the Sleeper can adjust the rules - so can you

If the sleeper was not Harrow's invention - but planted itself - then they're very lucky it got to the ghosts that weren't actually there - first.

So it was the commander....a portrait in a shuttle of blood of eden - can only be the commander. And redhaired? There are too many red haired people in this book!!

It's nice how all these ghosts got to have lasting impact from beyond the grave

NONIUS KNEW ORTUS/GIDEON?

Ok so ....there's the bed of the River with stoma. But there might also be the other side.

Did Harrow really not account for steps beyond her plan to mutilate her brain?

Is this book really gonna go: fuck you Gideon will die anyway ?????

But.wait. the sleeper had a two-hander. Where did that go???

I don't get it. If they go into the river - won't they also go insane?

SO NYAH!!!!!???

Ok but - what? The Commander ALSO -somehow - took over Cytherea's body?

'did the ten billion give you that too' I KNEW CANAAN HOUSE HELD EVEN GRUESOMER EXPERIMENTS AND SACRIFICES THAN LYCTORHOOD. God is made of ten billion souls. I think they killed humanity on earth to spare it 'slow inexorable apocalypse' and used the power to make the Empire from the resurrected. There was an extremely vague implication by Teacher to the amount of souls violated in Canaan house in the first book.

So God knows the commander went for the ninth house? Firstly, how. I don't understand how Anastasia fits in here!!! It would explain though how the commander

So the commander found the ninth house - and she died right? They tried to call her spirit but couldn't. But she became a revenant?

Ah. God THREW the bomb.

A fuckin wake me up inside joke jskdjskdnd

So Mercy and Augustine ( not Gideon ?) had all turned against God? And they were working with the commander to -... Make a baby????? And then evacuate the houses???? (For when God dies - there being a risk that Dominicus would go out I guess)

Make a baby/body to lever the one who lies in the tomb into....?

Love how the book foreshadowed Mercy and Augustine manipulating and lying to God - and turns out they did that on much bigger scale

They....meant to kill the baby to break the blood ward?

'The woman who I was pretty sure was my mother, wearing the body of the woman I'd had a crush on, who in turn had been wearing the identity of a woman she'd murdered -' KSNFKDJDKFJJFC

So why did they want this consistently characterised as kindly and humane god dead?

GIDEON THOUGHT IT WAS HIS!!!! But he called Wake Anastasia then????

They really are the same???

Oh my god I know what they're gonna say. Gideon is the daughter of God. WHICH HARROWS FUCKIN ROYALTY AU FEVER RIVER DREAM FUCKING FORESHADOWED HAAHAHAHAHHAA

Isn't it fucking ironic that God told Harrow that - HE WANTED HER TO BE HIS??? WHILE GIDEON HIS ACTUAL DAUGHTER WAS SPINNING INSIDE HER CHEST LIKE A LITTLE NUCLEAR FUSION REACTOR

They've been trying to kill him for more than 500 years???? Did mercymorn actually genuinely learn the extremely fine knowledge of the body for THIS purpose? How many thousands of years ago did they decide to kill god?

A fucking DAD JOKE

GIDEON REMEMBERING HOW SHE USED TO TELL HARROW HOW HER OTHER PARENT MIGHT BE THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN THE WORLD SO STOP PICKING ON HER

I am fucking DELIGHTED I AM SO GODDAMN OVERJOYED

It segues into a reminder of how shit their childhoods were and how their suffering had them lash out at each other endlessly and how it made Harrow suicidal and shit though - which is great

ALECTO'S EYES. THE A. FOR A. L.

A. L. The cavalier of God....but she walked. She had a body.

Ohhhhh. That's why they betrayed him. That age-old hurt. Ten thousand years old but still the bane of their existence, the seed of their madnesses. The loss of their cavaliers. Oh how did they manage to keep that from him?

I honestly thought - is Mercy saying she knows he killed humanity? But that's not what she couldn't have forgiven?

But why did he hide it? Why did he hide the perfect way? ('it would be easier' why???)

Ah. Yes. The expansion, why would the Emperor do that?

Uhhhhh. Couldn't Mercy have done that all along??????????????????????? Couldn't Mercy have killed God all along? That was both a trick and utterly sincere.

Augustine and Mercy were trying to do the right thing..... Mercy.... :'( Augustine was right. God is much less sentimental than he seems.

'im not even mad that you failed to either fix or put down Harrow' hm guess the constant kill quest HAD come from God after all. What a goddamn bitch of a man

What was the original plan? Unleash a. L. ? And then what? How would that help with the whole Dominicus going out problem?

Had God ever really thought to make up for all the bullshit he put his Lyctors through. He seems so affable and human but he's caused so much suffering. He's as good at manipulation at them - better!

The resurrection beast can't kill him, but he let his Lyctors die to them one by one anyway. So why??

Why are they punching each other in the River? They can use theorems right? God could blast Augustine to pieces same he did mercy?

Yes! It's true! Pyrrha and Gideon both exist in the same body - foreshadowed by his cavaliers build. There was something so fishy about it.

I love how Gideon has exactly the same response as me: what the fuck. Pyrrha??? Gideon??? What the fuck??? Why did they BOTH have an affair with their enemy??? So ok. Pyrrha stayed underground from Everybody for the thousand years. SOMEHOW their compartmentalisation let her pop up in his body regularly and not just when Gideon remembered her - because the hadn't fucked up his brain. But then how did THEY do that.

This absolutely galactic balsiness

The stoma thinks John is a resurrection beast. Might it be.....because he's..... A revenant. A 10 billion souled kinda- revenant ? A bit like.....Harrow is? Which is why he felt kin to her? Which is why he compared her creation to Resurrection?????I've really gotta reread those messages from commander wake.

A fucking jail for mother meme. Jail for one thousand years. Gideon how do you know this one????

I KNEW Ianthe would do that. Knew it. She doesn't want the system to die. Coronabeth is still out there. Well guess what - she's on the opposite side babe. Ok I realised that Gideon's mum apparently stuck to Gideon and then the sword? But also did Harrow manage to break the blood ward because of of her proximity to Gideon? Did Harrow uhhhh get put into a pocket in the river? But the emperor wasn't murdered!!! Fuckin chapters kept lying. They're on a hold planet. Finally - we meet the people. Alecto and Camilla and Corona? And Judith.? Did Alecto somehow do a time twisty around to come save Gideon at that moment in the river? Once again nothing much more is clear.

[mousehole5000]

tgcf lb the third chapter 14 - 21

okay hit me with the lore

Xie Lian hadn’t spoken his next words before the teenager said, “He dug it out himself.” Startled, Xie Lian asked, “Why?” The teen replied, “He went mad.” -digging out your own eye okay worm

If there were demons in this world who would scam or entice the hearts of people, then there would also be humans who would fool demons. There would exist much ongoing exploitation and betrayal. He said, “If it was handed over in infatuation, yet only results in broken bones and scattered ashes, it would indeed render one’s heart to feel aggrieved.” okay also kind of dope i love it when humans and demons get some back and forth. also this feels like it could be foreshadowing

awwww xie lian giving away his only steamed bun what a sweetheart

everyone keeps telling me this book is also a tragedy but now im just laughing at the visual of headless ghosts carrying their heads around and bickering

chronic bad luck and chronic good luck meet... what will happen to our heroes...

Xie Lian raised his head, softly saying, “You are tenacious, extremely dedicated, and despite many bitter encounters with frustrations and dashed hopes, you’ve stayed true to your heart. More often than not, your misfortunes will turn into blessings, calamity to prosperity. You will continue to have good fortune, my friend, your future is radiant and will blossom spectacularly.” All the things he said were made up on the spot, so they were complete nonsense. - fhklasjksldfdfh i know this is a ploy but still this was funny. also why didnt xie lian try to pick up palm reading from another source when he fell? are they just not as good? is he pretentious like that? either way i hope we find out more about what he got up to during those 800 years

Xie Lian felt rather skeptical on how he only ate half a bun for the duration of the entire day. If young people took advantage on their good health like this, sooner or later they would surely end up passed out on the streets. - xie lian is directly calling me out for my quarantine eating habits im sorry king ill do better

Previously, it had always been Xie Lian telling other people ‘it’s alright, it’s okay’. Today was the first time he heard those words spoken back to him, leaving him with an indescribable feeling. - awww okay this got me

oh my god there was only one bed

again comedy of the year. “oh you’re putting up a curtain that repels evil thats so interesting. on an entirely unrelated note im going to make you a door”

Brushing past him, San Lang pulled out the bamboo chopstick. He swayed it twice in front of him before saying, “It got dirty. I’ll throw it out later.” - edgy bastard moments begin

Xie Lian could hear the deliberation win Ling Wen’s tone. One thing he could be sure of was that she must be in a difficult situation. He said, “Okay, I understand. Since this is inconvenient for you, then there’s no need for you to say more. In addition, the two of us never had this conversation in private.” - awwwww considerate crown prince xie lian

“What, do you guys know him?” Xie Lian said. “……” Fu Yao coldly replied, “No we don’t.” - all men do is lie. also love the petty little broom dispute. i know its actually quite intentional and that only makes it funnier. also guys stop wrecking xie lian’s home he just got it fixed up!! if anyone breaks the new door ill be highly disappointed in them

Xie Lian nodded his head. “That’s right. I wrote it. If you guys continued fighting in there, I would be pleading for reconstruction instead of renovation. Then, I would really have no dignity left.” - see xie lian said if youre not going to contribute to it then please dont fight in my monastery its been through enough

Earlier, when Fu Yao had entered, he hadn’t gotten to examine the interior furnishings. Now, after standing in this crooked, shabby house for quite a while, he was able to see it all. As if his entire body, from head to toe, was uncomfortable, he asked, “You live in a place like this?” Xie Lian handed him a chair and said, “I’ve always lived in these kinds of places.” - ive seen this quote before and it really is just that “damn bitch you live this like?” meme. amazing

Fu Yao did not sit, his expression also turning rigid for a second. It was hard to tell what the look on his face was. It seemed nine parts blank shock and one part schadenfreude. - THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE EXPRESSION I WOULD LOVE TO SEE IT

In the desert, the difference in temperature between night and day was drastic. During the night, the freezing temperature was cold enough to seep into one’s bones, yet it was still tolerable. But come daytime, it was a whole other experience. The sky here was incredibly clear and expansive with dashes of white clouds, but likewise, the blazing sun was just as fierce. The group continued to walk, but the more they walked, the more it felt as though they were going into an enormous steamer basket. The hot air emitted from deep within the earth felt as though a day’s worth of walking could steam a person alive. - YES DESERTS YES

okay xie lian is so kind and so generous? he keeps giving stuff away when he has almost nothing and making sure that others are taken care of first..... love him

Xie Lian watched them put on airs. But when such airs were discarded, they finally got physical. Separated by the space of the table, the three of them fought with the poor water bottle, pushing it back and forth. - if these three really are who i think they are this is even funnier. the very clear toying thats going on is truly delightful

Even before, Xie Lian had always thought that although this teenager was always smiling, his smile often made it hard for people to distinguish whether it was actually genuine, or whether it was mockery in the guise of compliments. However, this time, anyone would be able to tell that there wasn’t even half an ounce of goodwill in his smile. - yeah that about sums it up. not even half an ounce of goodwill damn that sure the hell is not a lot of goodwill

He had Ruoye go grab onto something sturdy and stable, but Ruoye ended up grabbing onto San Lang! - awwww thats kind of cute. also the mental image... im going to make this its own post too but

im waiting for xie lian to cough up all that sand hes eating and say something funny when we’re back on the ground. i hope we get more very literal decisions from ruoye

It should be noted that there was a common saying within the mortal realm—a powerful dragon cannot crush a snake in its old haunts. - oh i like this and the translators note This is an old Chinese adage that basically means, ‘even a powerful man cannot crush a local bully.’

“General.” Nan Feng and Fu Yao both spoke at the same time, “What?” - CONFIRMED I CALLED IT tbh it was kind of obvious now ig now im just waiting. also again hysterical. if youre gonna hide your identities boys fucking lkafjfjlkdaf; try harder to remember that youre hiding

To be demoted again and again, to the point one couldn’t be demoted any further…… this kind of experience honestly felt too familiar. Xie Lian felt two gazes collectively fall on his body, but he pretended not to notice and continued reading the text on the stone slate. - this is a funny little set up for what seems to be a parallel between xie lian and this central plains general. he tripped on his own bootlace??? this HAS to be xie lian parallel what does it mean. oooh the common people on both sides of the conflict were the ones who commemorated him? interesting..

San Lang faintly smiled before he whispered, “No, I made that up. Since they had laughed at him before, making them kowtow to him now wouldn’t be asking too much, right?” Xie Lian looked and saw that it was really true. There was already no more text left to translate on the stone slate. He had originally wanted to sigh, but now he just found it funny. Thus, he also whispered, “Why are you so cheeky?” San Lang stuck out his tongue. The two of them were laughing when suddenly, someone screamed, “What is this!!!???” - okay they are funny and i respect the deception. also oooh scorpion tailed snake. oooh a horde of them. a classic cave blunder

“Yeah! The results are relatively the same as worshipping that rubbish immortal! The more you worship, the unluckier you become! “ “……” For an arrow to hit the bullseye despite being in a place so distant and unrelated, Xie Lian was left with no words. - oh my god xie lian are you wearing a spiritual “kick me” sign because it really feels like you are

HE GOT STUNG XIE LIAN NO

[prorevenge]

My hippie math teacher was real garbage.

So some background: as a kid, I’ve always been pretty good at math. It was always my best subject, I’d catch onto concepts easily, but I hated it. Not because math was hard or anything, but because no matter how much I hoped, my math teacher would always be the type that would be like “Use the formula I gave you or it’s wrong.” Now, see, my mind works in what others call “a super weird way.” Every time I was taught a new concept in math, I wouldn’t use the formula that the teacher gave us because I’d have a hard time remembering it and I thought it was too time consuming and expanded. Instead, I’d come up with a more efficient, step skipping formula that worked just as well.

Other students would ask me how I do the math so fast, and when I shared the formula with them, they found it much easier and did it just as fast.

So rewind to 7th grade. I was like, 12 or something at the time. I had finally got a good teacher that allowed freedom for multiple formulas because “math is math.” We had her for about a few months, and I really liked her teaching. She got into a freak car accident and took her leave, and from what other staff members told me, she was “lucky to even survive.” I never knew how bad the crash really was, but from what I was told, she cheated death. Staff said she was supposed to come back in a few months, and until then, we would have a long-term substitute.

Before I knew about the accident, I walk to class over in the way corner of my school. At the time, I remember having a class right before that was on the opposite corner of school, so I’d often be late if I walked too slow. So, I turn the corner of the building and notice there’s no students waiting outside, meaning the teacher had already opened the door. Unusual, but I checked the time, and I was earlier than normal. So, I knocked on the door. I waited and waited for someone to open the door, because usually it’s the nearest student to the door who opens it. I knock. And knock. It’s about a few minutes of constant knocking until someone opens the door, but he’s looming above me.

When I look up, it’s a new teacher, long hair and a beard, kind of looks like Jesus. Yes, he was a hipster. He opened the door right after the late bell and said “you’re late.” I explained to him I had been knocking the past few minutes and nobody answered the door, to which he responds “That’s because I told them not to. You should have been here when I opened the door to begin with.” I wanted to explain I had a far away class and I couldn’t be considered late since the late bell didn’t ring, but he didn’t take any of it. I had to go to detention that day.

So, let’s call this teacher Mr. Hippie for convenience. I sat next to my friend, lets nick him Bro, and ask what’s the deal with this guy. Bro tells me that I’ve already made a bad impression, told him to elaborate, to which he explains the whole accident long term sub thing.

So to summarize the first part of his teaching, he didn’t actually teach us anything. Instead, we did completely pointless activities that have nothing to do with math. One of these activities was a class game where we had to tell each other a list of jokes and whoever got the most laughs got the most points and won the game.

So we read these jokes that we’ve been given, and it’s a list of inappropriate jokes. They were all pretty racist, sexist, etc which we already knew he was extremely prejudiced based on his everyday, passing language towards us (some include “girls have good handwriting because they waste their time practicing their letters” and “the only guys that climb mount everest are white dudes because they’re the dumbest people out there” and “girls wouldn’t get raped if they just stop overestimating their strength” whatever that one even means). I can’t think of all the jokes off the top of my head, but here’s some I remember:

Why are religious Jamaicans obese? Because at church they chant “Praise the Lard.” What’s Miley Cyrus’ favorite food? Roast twerky. Why can’t the Kardashian’s swim? Because they have more plastic in their butts than in the whole ocean.

I objected against playing this stupid game because of all the offensive jokes in it, some of which I related to and was offended by. He sent me out of class that day. Bro got sent out eventually as well, because instead of using the offensive jokes, he said a stupid knock knock joke that made the class laugh out of pure stupidity. “Knock knock.” “Who’s there?” “Pizza delivery guy. I burned your pizza because it had pineapple on it. Bad move, cuz.”

At some point when we actually started learning math, Hippie was a douche, He did the same old same old docking me points for not using his formula thing. We were doing white board problems, to which he forced me to do the most complex ones. When I did them correctly and showed my work, he’d think I was wrong until he checked his calculator. Bad move. So, instead, he erases my work off the board in front of literally the whole class, and says to me dead in the eye: “You didn’t show your work.” So, I said, “Alright, I’ll show my work.” So I did. Again. And he erased it. By that point, I was fed up with his bull, so I just left it at that.

When we took tests, we would grade the papers as a class. He would tell us the answers, to which he’d screw up on middle school level questions. Every time I got a different answer, I would ask him to do it on the board, and that would prove he was wrong and I was right. He hated me more for asking questions.

Every time I “technically” got a question wrong, he would call me an idiot, slow, stupid, etc. etc. and even passed a few “maybe if you were a guy you’d be more useful.” I tried telling this to the teachers, but they weren’t having it. I tried waiting until he would finally leave, but info came out that our teacher wasn’t coming back, so we’d have him even longer. So naturally, I did some digging.

Bro and I searched his full name up online and found an admittedly hidden link to his Instagram account, which I won’t leak, but it was golden. He posed himself literally as Jesus, with several sexual and racial posts and memes. He had solid evidence of smoking weed and vaping off campus too, and it looked like he was also becoming the path to an antivaxxer at some point. Some posts included things like “You can’t cure cancer, yet you take away our medicine?” Followed by a picture of weed or something of that sort.

Though it wasn’t exactly what I wanted him fired for, I brought it up with the counselor. She said they’d look into it. While it was followed up by several other students, I was walking home one day when I saw Hippie with a big bag of what looked like posters as he threw it in his trunk and drove off. We came back one day to a brand new, female teacher. Posters that Hippie put up were gone, just like the ones he threw in his trunk the other day. She explained to us the old teacher had been fired for suspicious online activities, and will likely have a hard time ever getting a new job. Since then, the Hippie’s name had been removed from the account, but it’s still up and running by him.

We had that new teacher for the rest of the school year, which wasn’t exactly long, but she did teach us math and threw us a big party on the last day of school, though she still didn’t approve of alternate formulas. Sorry this was quite a long one, fellas, but I thought it was worth sharing.

TL;DR: Got a math teacher fired for his inappropriate Insta after he made sexual jokes and racial slurs and straight up insulted me for months.

(source) story by (/u/TheAcidicFire)

[fauzhee10069]

Caato Higashikata, the case of a character getting overhyped

aka. Caato Higashikata, the most overhyped part 8 character or Caato and Jobin, the perfect mother & son duo.

Warning: This contains JoJolion (part 8) spoilers, if you are a fan of JJBA but haven’t caught up yet, I suggest to ignore this post (and/or save it from later). This was written when chapter 92 is the latest chapter in JoJolion. I’m not responsible for future errors and contradictions in this post caused by the retcon from the chapters onwards.

Yeah, currently she is one of the potential main villains nominated by the fans, besides Jobin and The Head Doctor.

However, lately Caato hasn't made any new appearance, but the hype from her fans is still raging. She is pretty cool character but sometimes her hype is getting annoying lately. It’s similar case with Suiryuu from One-Punch Man back during the Super Fight arc, when his fans were hyping him to be one of Saitama’s greatest threat, even as strong as Boros. Now, what is left is only the meme (“Suiryuu’s leg band is his limiter LOL”) and I don’t want Caato to be left as a meme.

This post is not about bashing Caato, it explains the problem in overhyping her. It contains about my thought about her, how I view her current role, the character study  and how we should take her character at this moment.

Read carefully because if you’re speed-reading, you likely miss my points and accuse that I’m bashing her.

Contents:

What do you think about Caato?

Why don't you think that she will be the main villain?

What are the common reasons for Caato’s fans who want her to be the main villain and what are your thoughts?

What does Caato really need to be a proper main villain?

How about the other main villain candidates, Head Doctor and Jobin?

So how do you see Caato’s role currently?

How shall we consider Caato’s role right now?

<TL;DR is available at the end of the post>

What do you think about Caato?

Like what I said before, she is pretty cool character. Her first appearance is pretty iconic, when she was just released from prison and she coolly called her son. The way she threw away her wedding ring, symbolizes that she has left the past behind.

Then when she casually slipped into the Higashikata house, shocking her children and especially her ex-husband, owning Joshu for humiliating her. It’s pretty fun, reminds me of Joseph and Lisa Lisa’s interaction before he realized that she is his mother.

Then came the flashback, about her and Jobin. Her desire to save her son but on the other hand she also had the desire to live a long life. Resulted in her success in saving Jobin and staying alive by sacrificing the lives of stranger’s son, but at the expense of going to prison and becoming a criminal. Thus, sacrificing 15 years of her life, away from her family and freedom. And instead of lamenting, she casually returned to her normal life without considering her ex-husband’s objection while still supporting her son by providing information.

Her design is quite unique and attractive, though I don’t consider her being that hot and enchanting (not on Lisa Lisa and Lucy’s level). Her style and the way she dresses tends to be more eccentric (like any other Higashikatas).

Yeah, I ended up liking her character. She is normal as a character in JoJo standard but very fun as a mom character in every anime/manga. She is already a fine character, her portrayal is solid. She is already perfect as she is. Therefore, she does not have to be the main villain.

Why don't you think that she will be the main villain?

I have written my reasons before, why I won't like it if she becomes the Main Villain. To be honest, I don’t think her character concept and designation role are suitable for a main villain.

Introduction

First, her cool introduction. I like how Araki drew the angle and prespective in the day of Caato’s release scene. Her face that partially hidden then the angle trick that only reveal a little hint of how she looks. This surely gives us the vibe of major character, that she would be important in the future. Who is she and what is her role? Not only that, he also drew her fairly attractive in contrast to those ugly extras. The chapter also implied that there is something dangerous will be brought by this character.

Then does this mean that she is main villain? Nope. Araki’s introduction of how the main villain (and other major characters) appears is pretty unpredictable. Remember Lucy Steel? Her first appearance is “she was just there” besides Stephen Steel with no dialogue, her design (and face) also looked pretty generic (with that Steely Dan’s hairstyle). I didn’t expect her to be important, she was just a random girl happened to be Stephen’s eye candy (like Yuuya’s girlfriends). But then, fast forward later, she becomes the best girl in Steel Ball Run with prominent roles. Once she becomes important, Araki also draws her later as the hottest JoJo chick since Lisa Lisa.

Then, there is Sandman. We started the Steel Ball Run chapter with him. We saw his POV, he was greatly misunderstood by his fellow Indians from reading the white men’s books. If you are not familiar with JJBA and just happened to read this chapter as your first introduction to the series, you likely would misunderstand Sandman as the main protagonist. As we all know, the main protagonist must belong to the Joestar’s bloodline.

Then what about Caato and her cool intro? I can guarantee that she is important as a character. That’s all. I think between Caato and Lucy’s introductions, it’s only a matter of when Araki decides the role for his characters.

Conclusion: Caato might be a character with important role, full stop.

Character Background

What is Caato’s background? She is introduced as the mother of four Higashikata children, ex-wife of Higashikata Norisuke IV, the current patriarch of the family and the head of its family business (The Fruit Company). An ex-convict as her interesting background. Kinda weak character background for a main villain imo, but this does not automatically debunk her to be the main villain. Some JoJo main villains have very flashy backgrounds, we got non-human entity like The Pillar Men and that flashy vampire, mafia boss, the priest and U.S president. But we also got a mere salary man who wants a quiet life. Jobin himself is just an heir to his family (and business).

However, let’s compare their respective settings, especially in part 4. Kira Yoshikage is just a salary man with his hand fetish who wants a quiet life. Let’s focus on his salary man part first. While Kira only held such ordinary occupation as a main villain, the setting of part 4 in JoJo doesn't have anyone else in more glorious positions. Okay wrong, there are grandpa Joseph as a real estate tycoon and Jotaro as marine biologist. But what do their careers have to do with the plot and main goal in part 4? Nothing. Those career are not required to chase a serial murderer, it requires Stand users.

What about part 8? At least there are currently two people who hold more prominent occupations than the Higashikata mother and son duo. They are The Head Doctor and Holy Joestar-Kira. There was also Damo as the head of the smuggling cartel in the Locacaca Organization but he was already ruled out from the main villain candidate. Is there any correlation between their occupations and the main theme in part 8? Of course, because the main focus in this part is The Locacaca fruit. Both Head Doctor and Holy have conducted research on the fruit as scientists. Just like Caato and Jobin, all of them need (and are fighting over) that fruit. But Head Doctor and Holy were few steps closer in utilizing the fruit for greater purpose. Not only that, the Head Doctor is also the presumed mastermind of the Locacaca Organization and its members are extremely knowledgeable in the nature of the Locacaca.

Besides come from the rich family who can buy that worth hundreds of billions fruit, the lack of prominent position held by Caato and Jobin weakens their potential as the main villain, but that doesn't mean I eliminate them as candidates.

On the other hand, if I really want a female to be the main villain, surely I would prefer Holy over Caato. Sadly but fortunately (and just as I thought), chapter 92 seems to have debunked Holy as the potential villain.

Conclusion: Caato’s character background got challenged.

Objective and Motivation

What is Caato’s objectives likely? What I know so far are: she wanted to save her son’s life, freeing him from the Rock Disease. But it had been solved in the past. After she got released from prison, she wants the Higashikata’s fortune, to take back what she thinks her right. She holds revenge on her ex-husband due to him abandoned her. Her other possibly objective is helping Jobin to get the New Locacaca fruit to save her grandson, maybe… but so far she is still MIA.

Okay, let’s compare her objective with the other main villain’s candidates. What about The Head Doctor? What exactly is his goal? His goal is not very clear yet, but being the presumed mastermind of the Locacaca organization makes me feel that he has grand plan. We can guess that among of them is to gain the power of the New Locacaca's equivalent exchange along with the refinement of Locacaca fruit for medical applications. Also, his current objective is to secure the New Locacaca for its medicinal properties along with the benefit of at the very least the members of his organization and possibly the Rock Human race at large (implied by Urban Guerrilla).

With this, Caato’s motive becomes very personal and ordinarily plain but also more humane and relatable to us whereas the Head Doctor’s motive sounds more grandiose and idealistic. Though personally, I’m more interested in the Head Doctor’s objective because it sounds more interesting to be challenged by our protagonists. Besides that, I'm also not interested in the Higashikata family drama that Caato will bring likely. To get the family’s fortune and take over its business (by controlling her son ala queen mother?). Why would I bother to read a seinen battle manga with a conflict like this if I could just watch some TV dramas with similar plot? Not that I completely reject this plot, but for me this kind of conflict should not be the main focus (and goal) in this story.

Then, what about Jobin’s objective? He finally got the grafted branch and betrayed the Locacaca group. His priority right now is to save Tsurugi and cure him of the rock disease. He is also motivated to improve his family's business with innovation (with this, he often at odds with his father).

Caato might shares similar goal with Jobin, but for me her motivation to achieve one of her goals (in saving Tsurugi) sounds rather weak. I'm not saying that she doesn't care, of course she cares about her family. But I do not feel that her will to save her grandchild would be as strong as her will to save her son years ago. Because for me the family bond between mother and child is definitely stronger than grandmother and her grandchild.

Unless when she has lost all her children and her grandchild is the only offspring left for her (coughErinacough). Of course at this time Caato does not experience that, all of her children are still well and there. Moreover, we haven't seen her interaction with her grandchild yet, how could she develop a strong bond with him? But for Jobin, he was feeling a great urge to save Tsurugi, a feeling similar to what Caato has felt in “Mother & Child” flashback.

So, Caato’s motivation in fulfilling the objective to save her family is more likely for the sake of Jobin than for Tsurugi. Chances are, she will help Jobin due to her empathy. She might just do anything for her son Jobin, including saving her grandchild Tsurugi. But that is because it started from Jobin who really wanted to save his son. Because her motivation is not based on her own will, but from her son’s urge, this motivation is not suitable for a main villain but perfect for a supportive character (either for villain or protagonist).

But what about Pucci? Isn't his motivation and objective largely due to DIO’s influence? Yeah, that’s true. But in my opinion it is also because Pucci and DIO are already match-made-in-heaven (beginning with their friendship). I mean, they are perfect as friends. Before Pucci met DIO, he was already the person who would do anything he can to accomplish his goals, even kill and manipulate others, because he really believes it is for a greater good for everyone. After DIO influenced his belief, Pucci aspires to implement a plan long formulated by DIO to "achieve heaven" to obtain the true happiness. So, from the beginning they have the same goal and when Pucci can fulfill it (with DIO’s help posthumously), why not?

Even if you are not satisfied by this explanation, let’s say that Pucci and Caato's motivations are equally weak, the role of the main villain still favors Pucci more since DIO is posthumous character in part 6 (which is already dead and only appeared in flashbacks), unlike Caato and Jobin which are both still alive and exist in the storyline. Pucci’s objective also sounds grandiose and idealistic just like The Head Doctor. This is fit for the main villain. He achieved heaven by speeding up the time until the universe reset itself. Then the souls of the living would be transferred over to the 'new' universe. Everyone in the new universe gained a sort of clairvoyance, predicting the events just before they happen, something which Pucci believes is true happiness. Pucci’s desire is to make sure everyone knows about their destiny and have them accept it. Demanding alimony and divorce settlements or saving her family member is relatively small goal compared to attaining heaven.

If so, how about part 4 Kira? He doesn’t have any motivation besides wanting a quiet life with his girlfriend. Again, the theme in part 4 and part 8 is completely different. The main objective of part 4 is to pursue a serial murderer who cleverly manages to hide his identity and crime. That serial murderer is Kira Yoshikage, he is the main target in the story. Prior to become a target, he was casually committing his crime. Only when he realized that people began to hunt for him, he developed his new motivation to protect himself. Then, what is the main focus in part 8? It’s about breaking the curse and the Locacaca fruit. The target is not an individual, but rather an object. If so, how will we get the main villain? Either we get none or it will be someone in a high position and has a very big influence, someone that is closest to take the advantage of that fruit, the biggest mastermind or… character that we’re already very familiar with, Jobin. So, comparing part 4 and part 8 wouldn’t work (besides they took in the same setting).

Conclusion: Caato either needs motivation that will affect many characters or a high ground. It doesn't have to be grandiose, but her motivation must be independent from anyone especially Jobin.

What are the common reasons for Caato’s fans who want her to be the main villain and what are your thoughts?

”Her Stand had space-themed ability, just like D4C.”

Caato's Stand appears to take the form of a simple deck of playing cards. However, by placing an object between two cards of the deck, she can store that object in the deck itself as if nothing was there. She can store objects that are considerably larger than the deck, as seen when she brings forth a chair. Currently, its name is still unknown. “Placing an object between two cards” part kinda reminds of D4C in application. Many people also consider Caato's Stand to be space-themed like D4C. Considering that the main villains’ Stands were time-based on the original verse, many fans assume that the main villain’s Stand in the rebooted SBR verse will be space-themed. Thus, the hype of Caato's Stand and conspiracy theory of Kaato as part 8 main villain began.

Not only that, Caato also successfully surprised her family when she managed to sneak into his residence suddenly. How can it possible? Did she use her Stand? It's possible, but this is not always the case. Instead of Stand ability, it could just be a simple comedy scene. You can’t really judge the character’s power from a comical scene, do you think that Nami is physically stronger than Luffy just because she can punch him occasionally? Seriously. Judging a character’s power would be more accurate if that happens in a tense/menacing moment. This is just another fun dynamic of The Higashikata family, but this time also featured the mom/grandma. Come on, she just wanted to be reunited with her family.

If you still demand in-universe explanation, well... JJBA has a rule that Stand users with the same bloodline are be able to feel each other's presence. Since all members of the Higashikata family are Stand users, they should be able to sense each other's presence. But as Joseph from part 3 had said that they are unable to tell exactly whom and how many they sense.

SC chapter 138: DIO’s World - Part 5

if this rule still applies, it would make sense that those Higashikata did not even realize that someone (who is related by blood) had sneaked in their home and they were not aware that their numbers were increasing.

The D4C-alike theory sounds nice but let's look at the facts we have currently: has it been confirmed that Araki will use space as the new theme for his main villain’s Stand? Or will he try out new creative ways by not sticking to the theme? Time-based Stand started in part 3 and we could only see the pattern after at least two villains onwards have the same type of ability. But what about part 1 and part 2? The main villains did not use Stand at that time didn’t have time-based ability, are we going to ignore this possibility in the future?

What I see so far in Caato's Stand is that it works similar to Enigma but limited to her 52 deck of cards, of course it’s still early to judge that its ability is only limited to that, given that the first time we saw D4C, it wasn't very impressive either. But it’s also too soon in hyping that she will demonstrate OP ability. It’s hard to predict whether we will see further into her Stand again or not, but we need to if we really want her to be the main villain. However, problem is that we are getting closer to the climax and end-game. Is there still enough time to hype Caato? Speaking of further abilities, do you remember when Jobin said that there is hidden ability from Speed King that he had not demonstrated yet? Flash forward, we finally have seen more of Speed King ability in his fight with Ojiro.

In addition, there are also those who say that Caato uses cards as medium for her Stand, her French playing cards are used to symbolize the game and she likely holds the trump card, meaning that she would be the master of the game and likely would be the winner. What is the game? The main plot in part 8: the race of the Locacaca fruit. This also related to her name being named after “Card”. But wait, doesn’t Daiya’s Stand also use a game namely chess as a medium? Even compared to playing cards, chess game is closer to symbolizing strategy and mastermind. Moreover, California King Bed’s ability deals on memory, it's more fitting for mastermind.

Read further: Caato’s Stand and its mechanism so far

”Her eyes look split, she could be rock human, or fusion human like Josuke.”

Due to her strange eyes close up in her first introduction chapter coupled with her youthful look, a quite popular theory emerged that Caato’s having the split eyes like Josuke due to the strange dark shadow in the middle of her iris. Speculation that she is a rock human or fusion human of two individuals like Josuke had sprung up (and it still continues among her fans).

However when the official colored JoJolion chapters got released, the coloring team didn't color Caato’s eyes in two different colors. Why did they decide that?

I had tried to break down it and this is the result:

For further explanation, please click here.

”She looks young and the reproduction between human male and rock-human female is possible now, she could be rock human.”

What about her youthful look? Sure, she indeed looks young for a 52 years old gilf compared to Holy who’s also 52. But unlike Lisa Lisa who is indeed considered to be ageless in the story (being a hamon user, Joseph estimated her being around 20s and was shocked when he discovered that she was actually 50), Caato’s sudden appearance in front of her family only surprised them and made them wonder who she is? No comment about her supposedly youthful look, Hato even immediately mentioned her age correctly.

Not only that, her youthful look seemed to have been debunked once Holy made her new appearance in recent chapter and she is no less young looking than her. In the end, this is just a matter of Araki’s new art style. In short, Caato’s youthful looking ended up being irrelevant to the plot.

Read further: Caato Higashikata, is she Lisa Lisa 2.0?

Apart from those matters, chapter 81 also stated that rock humans are able to have sex with humans, but they’re always incompatible (相容れない) with them. It’s still not known whether it means “they can’t reproduce” or “conflict will be inevitable”. But chapter 46 actually said in the pages about Rock Humans that they can’t have children with humans. Unfortunatelly, I could not check whether there is a translation error or not because I can’t find the Japanese raw with the size large enough to be able to read the kanji.

However, recent chapter of JoJolion (99) updated the information regarding the rock-human that only rock-women and humans can have children, but it also showed us how rock-women give birth to their children. If Caato was a rock-human, then that would've meant everyone except Norisuke and Mitsuba were rock-humans, and Tsurugi wouldn't have existed.

Read further: Is Caato a Rock-Woman?

”She got that menacing Aura and she might has hidden agenda, what if she is the mastermind behind all this?”

Based on the theory above, it develops into conspiracy that she becomes the mastermind behind The Locacaca Organization, even she is allegedly the Head Doctor’s superior. I don’t know what basis could have produced this theory other than the assumption that she is a rock human. Could it be due to her menacing aura and being full of mystery? Or how Jobin is being respectful to her? Or maybe is it because her little charm as the officers in the prison like her, because main villain always needs charisma (but Kira and Diavolo). But, of course when you’re leading something, you need charisma (except Diavolo).

We all know that menacing aura, especially among JoJo females, is not limited to villains or people with very high positions. Remember Lisa Lisa’s cold glare to Joseph during his pillar training?

Or Yukako’s horror aura to Koichi in that window scene which is so iconic till it becomes a meme?

Even though menacing Caato looks the best thanks for Araki’s evolving art style, her simple cold glare and menacing aura do not guarantee her to be the main villain… just not enough yet. Yeah sure, her family were wary of her, but it's more because Hato heard the little info about her mother that she was in prison for a murder that she doesn’t recall the full story, Joshu was wary of this unknown woman and Norisuke IV was surprised to her sudden arrival as she did not notify him first. Nothing about her being ultra dangerous.

What about Jobin’s respect for her? Isn't it nice to have a main villain who is well respected… by one person? Why is being respected by Jobin making her potential main villain? Most likely because after all this time the fans predicted Jobin as the main villain, they saw at him as he is subject to her. I think the train of thought like this is still too hasty. For me what's wrong with a child respecting his mother? Of course Caato deserves his respect, she is a loving mother, wanting to save her son’s life from the rock disease. It might sound selfish since she didn't want to sacrifice her life but it’s also very humane. Perhaps she thought that Jobin shouldn’t lose his mother figure too young. Moreover, Jobin is not the only child she had. What about his younger siblings if they have to live without their mother. Although this very ironic, because despite being alive, she eventually left her children and made them grow up without mother figure. Jobin’s respect to his mother is exactly the same as Joseph’s respect to his grandma Erina.

Then, since Jobin shows his respect to Caato, there is also emerging rumor that Caato is controlling Jobin as the mastermind. Does this mean that all this time Jobin's actions have been under her control? How is that possible? Since Jobin might had been the only child who had ever visited her in prison, do you think she often instructed him to do something at that time? So far, have we really seen Caato give any instructions to him? I do not remember. What I can remember the most is when she called and warned Jobin that:

“There is something fishy between Norisuke IV and Josuke but actually I don't really know what. I was married with him for years so I know his habits. There must be something your father is hiding now, you must be careful!” (JJL ch 59 "Dolomite's Blue Lagoon - part 1")

What I really take in her character based on this scene is that she is very supportive mom, taking her time to help Jobin while she also has her own business with Norisuke IV, not controlling him. This reminds me of Yoshihiro’s role in part 4. She even caught their suspicious behavior from them based on her spending time with Norisuke IV as his wife. This kind of intuition commonly can be felt by any married women, no need to be the mastermind to be able to do it.

Is it possible that Caato is the true mastermind? How does she take care of her organization? If indeed she is secretly managing a secret organization, since when? If it's been a long time and she was very busy with it, why did she married a human who is fruit parlor owner, wasting her life for around 17 years and produced 4 children with him? For what purpose? How does she manage of her organization while hiding this fact from her family?

”Surely she was very busy managing the organization.”

If it's been since she was being incarcerated, how was it done? More importantly, does Jobin know? If Caato is indeed leading a secret organization, there's still a lot we need to see: what kind of organization is that? How does Caato run it? What is its main goal? Who are the members? When will they begin to act?

I also hate when they treat Caato as if she is omniscient. One thing that is certain is that she did not know about Mamezuku Rai, the plant appraiser employed by Norisuke IV a year after she was incarcerated (unless Jobin tells her later). Then:

This could have double meaning as well, either she really just learned that the house has been renovated or simply commented about the renovation (I still bet the former). Take a note that the renovation was done 2 years ago (she was still incarcerated atm). But if Caato already knew about renovation (and that shaddy business), how could she not figure out the details of Norisuke IV and Josuke’s secret plans?

As for Locacaca, we still don’t know whether Caato knows about it or not. However, Holy is already ahead of her as Holy even tried to do scientific analysis of it.

Lastly, I also don't think that Caato is really that powerful (as in influence/not Stand) as she was unable to get out of prison earlier (unless you argue that she did it on purpose). Even being a model prisoner didn’t grant her remission. In fact, I become suspicious, is there anyone who intentionally keep her in prison?

”Caato is the true mastermind who led/works with Damokan group as Jobin is just a gofer.”

There is also theory that Caato is the true mastermind from Higashikata family who works with Damokan group in money-laundering and smuggling the Locacaca, instead of Jobin. How so? I bet the theory was born because of this little panel:

They said the timeline with Jobin does not match, I don’t know it doesn’t match with what? I guess it’s about the time between “when Jobin first met Damokan group” and when “Kira discovered Rock Humans’ existence and their illegal fruit business”. Regarding the timeline, actually I've just compiled the timeline of JoJolion events. The thing is that Jobin met Damokan group around 2008 whereas Kira discovered the Rock Humans & it’s shady business in 2009. The key panels here:

JJL chapter 30: King Nothing

JJL chapter 72: The Northern Higashikata Estate, The Orchard

JJL chapter 49: Hato-chan Brought a Boyfriend Over – part 3

So, the time is still match if Jobin is the one who started cooperating with Damokan group. Even if Caato was the actual perpetrator, shouldn't she was still in prison at the time? Can you guarantee that she can act in the outside world while incarcerated? If we look at her backstory, we don't see her using her Stand at all, so we can assume that she didn't have Stand yet at the time (or that her Stand was useless).

They said that this could be a hint:

I think she just meant: “I was helping your business too, how dare you ignore my merits just because I went to prison?”

Her claim that she also helped the family business running smoothly for 15 years is a hint that relates to smuggling, perhaps because the 15 years she said happened to coincide with the length of time she was in prison. However, this word still have double meaning, it’s still possible that 15 years she meant is the time during her marriage with Norisuke IV prior to her incarceration and divorce. When she got arrested, Jobin was a teenager who was around 15 or older (hm… actually he was 17 at the time).

Even if her 15 years of contribution was done during her time in prison, how is that automatically related to the smuggling of Locacaca? I don’t think that Damokan group started operating as long as 15 years ago, at least there is no hint yet that the Rock Humans (and Locacaca) had been invading Morioh 15 years ago.

Read further: 

JoJolion Cardspiracy: Caato and Damokan group

What actually happened in Mamezuku Rai’s past? (chapter 99 spoilers)

”She already got her flashback.”

First, what is the purpose of flashback? Flashback is a literary device in a story that provides some background information on events, situations or a character's past history; flashback’s often used to reveal some important truth about a character's past. Have we ever seen Kaato on a flashback? Yes, on JoJolion chapter 64 “Mother & Child”. What did we get from that chapter? The reason why Caato went to prison. She wanted to cure Jobin of his Rock Disease through Equivalent Exchange without sacrificing her life. When a random boy (who bullied Jobin) was dying (due to Speed King’s attack), that's when the opportunity arrived. Jobin successfully cured and Caato was still alive. Alas a few years later the boy's body was found and Caato became the only suspect (and went to prison).

The question is: who is this flashback about? Certainly Jobin and Caato. But who does this flashback actually belong to? If we look at whose point of view was being used in this flashback, this actually used Jobin’s point of view. How so? Surely this flashback have been told by Tsurugi’s POV. But let's think of it, where did he hear this story from? Certainly from his father who is none other than Jobin. It makes no sense if Tsurugi got this story directly from Caato, Tsurugi is currently 10 years old whereas Caato was incarcerated 15 years ago.

That sounds possible, but are you sure? Unless Tsurugi ever visited her grandma in prison so that Caato got a chance to tell him this story in her version. But I can tell that chapter “Mother & Child” uses Jobin’s perspective. At the beginning of the flashback we saw Jobin and Caato in one location. They were still in the same place until Jobin finally joined the scout group. After that we see how Jobin was bullied by the Boy-scout Bully.

Until finally the bully got attacked by Speed King and Jobin rushed to his house and went to see Caato in a panic. Jobin who was deeply scared and did not know what to do really needed his mother’s help. That's when we see Caato took an action and made her decision to do equivalent exchange for Jobin. Jobin had constantly been seen in this flashback whereas there was moment where we didn't see Caato. We have never seen what she was doing when Jobin was away.

The flashback tells us nothing about Caato or Jobin’s motivations, but it serves well in showing the growth of a certain character. Who is it? Of course it’s Jobin. What we got from Caato is that she wanted to save her son but also wanted to stay alive, she succeeded but had to pay for her action by going to prison, full stop. What we got from Jobin is that this incident and what his mother had done have evoked his ambition, he aspires to do innovation for his family business, expanding the trade, getting rid of his competitors and elevating his family’s social standing, to be on top. Despite her absent for 15 years, Caato is the parent who had the biggest influence on Jobin, becoming what he is today.

If to be a main villain requires flashback, sadly this is not her flashback, this one belong to Jobin. Most people focus on the theme of Stand ability as the main villain pattern. If we really rely on pattern to determine the main villain, we shouldn’t forget the flashback that shows the growth of main villain, aka childhood flashback.

Then, whose childhood flashback did we get in part 8? Of course it’s Jobin, again.

Read further: Caato Higashikata, 34 chapters (8 volumes) MIA and still overhyped

What does Caato really need to be a proper main villain?

Her own motivation which does not depend on anyone and will affect all players on the game

In her case, a motivation that is not shared with Jobin and the motivation/objective that will interconnect with other characters, affecting their actions and in this part 8, it shall be related to the Locacaca.

The Higashikata alimony dispute can’t be the main villain’s objective because that objective will only have an internal impact on the Higashikata family, not on the Head Doctor, Holy’s side and Locacaca Organization. The desire to cure her grandchild Tsurugi which requires Locacaca is also not good enough to be her main villain’s motivation because it more belongs to Jobin. Caato requires motivation that comes from her individually and that is not the kind of motivation "to help muh family."

However, those two motivations/objectives do not devalue Caato as a character, the alimony dispute makes her stand out as a character that has her own motivation and doesn’t depend on other characters. Helping Jobin will make her a very supportive character that's a solid role.

Flashback that really tells about her, preferably her childhood (or at least her origin that is outside the Higashikata)

We still need to know more about her a lot, where was she born from and where was her social standing prior to her married life with the Higashikata? How was her childhood life? Her origin? Why did she marry Norisuke IV? And most importantly what past events caused her to be the individual we know today?

How her current position can work to achieve her goals

Will being an ex-convict and Higashikata widow really help her achieve her goals? If not, is there any other status/position that she is currently hiding?

Further ability of her Stand

We need to know the name of her Stand and what else it can do? Of course she also needs ability that must be very difficult to be challenged to by most Stand users.

How about the other main villain candidates, Head Doctor and Jobin?

Head Doctor Akefu (Tooru?)

The head doctor (which his real identity might be Tooru) already seemingly has a grand objective that sounds grandiose and idealistic. A rock human being, allegedly he was the leader of the Locacaca Organization and the mastermind. Even if it’s false, as The Head Doctor working in T.G. University Hospital, it was clear that he’s holding a high position. His Stand, 「Wonder of U」 is already considered dangerous, seeing how our protagonists are struggling with it.

However, his real identity and his origin as an individual is still unknown, his personal motive is also still in the dark. How about his personality? What things he likes? What is his hobby? His relationship with other characters? Daily habits outside his role as villain? 

Even so, slowly but surely, his identity is being revealed. Chapter after chapter increasingly assures us that Tooru will be the actual “Head Doctor” that is undercover. Chapter 99 confirmed that he is a rock-human and also the perpetrator who ruined Rai's family & his life in the past. It's clear that Tooru also wants New Locacaca. It’s also implied that being a rock-human, he is older than he looks, which means that there is still a possibility that we will see his connection with the pasts that have not been revealed yet. We need to see more about him and I’m sure we will, because Araki is putting his focus on Tooru’s character arc right now.

Jobin Higashikata

We already know who he is and are pretty familiar with him, we know what thing he likes, his relationship with his family, and his background is pretty clear. We have seen his flashback, we also have seen plenty enough about Speed King. The motivation is not grandiose and idealistic but very humane, he only cares to his family and it’s always about his family. He has a pretty good standing but his position making his relation with the Locacaca less direct compared to Head Doctor. Although he is my best main villain candidate, he is still a wild card in reality. He is closer to be a villain but there is also possibility that he would be reluctant ally for Josuke.

So how do you see Caato’s role currently?

Despite her relatively small appearance, Araki really wrote her character pretty well. We can see a little of her personality, her little background and her relationship with her family. I’ve seen her own motivation as stand-alone individual. Her character is humane and relatable, wanting to save her son while wanting to stay alive as well. Her character is established based on the mother’s role. Like all mothers, she was willing to sacrifice her life for her son. However, her action makes an interesting contrast to Norisuke IV and his mother, both of them chose to sacrifice their own lives. By sacrificing other people's lives, she might be seen as a selfish person. But perhaps because she had more than one child, she needed to stay alive so that they won’t lose their mother figure too young. Eventually she had to pay for her action by going to prison as another form of her sacrifice. Ironically, her selfish way in saving Jobin made her lose 15 years of mother role for her children. Nevertheless, she readily accepted that consequence.

Caato is the parent who earned Jobin’s respect more than Norisuke IV. Her sacrifice (which Norisuke IV did not do) had a huge influence on Jobin and his growth, her action had shaped him, making him the man we know today. Even at this present time, as a mother, she remains supportive for Jobin by trying to warn him and provide him information as best as she could. Jobin often mentions her positively.

Caato’s portrayal might be largely based on the mother’s role, but her characterization doesn’t always revolve around her being a mother. This is shown by her personal intention who wants half of the Higashikata fortune as the payback for her sacrifice. She wants to take back what's rightfully hers.

Only appeared in a few chapters, Araki successfully wrote Caato as a solid character. As a character with "the mom" role, she is already in relatively high tier compared to the other JoJo moms. Regarding her role against the protagonists, she is still the wild card. We do not know yet whether she will fight them or help them later, what's clear is that she's on Jobin’s side.  However, I agree with JoJo wikia which compares her role to Yoshihiro (part 4 Kira’s dad).

How shall we consider Caato’s role right now?

I think we should just wait and see, surely she is an interesting character. There is nothing wrong in wanting a female gets a major role, especially as the main villain. Because so far we have never gotten a female as the main villain in JJBA and this is the era where a lot of entertainment media become "woke" and sided with feminism. However in Caato’s character, her potential to be main villain is still weak and not visible yet, although I feel there is already the potential of her to be a villain. My suggestion is we should treat her as a wild card character for the moment.

So for those of you who want Caato to be the main villain, please shut up, just wait and see! Stop overhyping her in every JoJo thread that she will be the main villain, at least don't treat her like she already is, especially when JoJolion's focus is on the Head Doctor right now. Sure, I still want to see more of Caato again as I believe that her role is not finished yet.

To be honest, I also want a JoJo main villain to be female, but with how Caato was created and established, I don’t think that she is set to be the main villain. Sure, it's still too early to say, if indeed Araki would make her the main villain, hopefully he could play it correctly. I also want to see a female main villain in JJBA, but I won’t be disappointed if the main villain we get in this part 8 is another man. Because honestly, I don’t want JJBA becomes woke just for the sake being woke by putting political correctness and feminist agenda over the quality of storyline.

Caato are you ok?

So, Caato are you ok?

Are you ok Caato?

They don’t want you

They don’t think you

Will be main villain

”I’m okay, so what?”

TL;DR: Caato is already a well written character, she doesn’t have to be the main villain to make her standing out and be a prominent character, not being the main villain doesn't make her lack of anything. It’s fine if you hype her as the main villain but we still need to see her further. So please don't tell us that she will definitely become the one as if it becomes a fact.  There is still long way to go and we need to see more of her.

See also:

The legit hype Caatofags once had

JoJolion: The Main Villain and The Red Herrings

JoJolion timeline LOG

[oofurixmas]

This time (it will be alright)

From: @ichikonohakko

To: @the-bug-witch

Soulmates and reincarnations are a given-thing, but skeptic Abe Takaya would never be a sappy believer… until he met a certain Mihashi Ren.

Merry Xmas and Happy New Year! I’m really sorry if this is a bit messy, I hit a writer’s block and this piece was pretty much my try-to-start-again piece. Your request stated you wanted AbeMiha snuggly fluff (or memes) and you like AUs… so here’s an AU with a fine spice of fluff and angst (sorry again, I’m just way better at writing angst). Please enjoy your gift!

i.

Abe Takaya knew that the universe wasn’t so simple.

Soulmates are not predetermined, reincarnations are not real, and people around him were just screwing around with him and someday they would finally tell him that it was just one big fat joke. Shinooka wasn’t the reincarnation of some princess and Mizutani wasn’t a ronin samurai who had fallen in love with her. They didn’t ‘find each other again after so long in a destined fate’ or anything. They were just a sappy couple who loved sappy tropes.

Even his mother and father had thought that the reincarnation thing was a load of croak, but they do believe in soulmates. After all, Takaya could see the beautiful lilies blooming on his mother’s shoulder every time she and Dad were close to one another. And those lilies should have looked ridiculous on his Dad, but it wasn’t. And people are all proud to show their marks to the world or flaunting to the magazines about the previous lives they remembered. Takaya hated it and he swore that he would never ever be a sap. This world also had plenty of people who didn’t meet their soulmate and yet still got married and functions as normal members of society. Takaya expected to be one of those people.

“Oh you shouldn’t be so negative, Taka,” Shun said lightly as he stared at the small dot on his hip. “Who knows that you’re going to find someone who’s not only your soulmate, but also your lover from the past. Mom and Dad happened to not remember their past lives, but they found each other again just fine. Don’t you think that’s amazing?”

“Not really.” Takaya rolled his eyes as he got around the room, trying to prepare for morning lecture he would probably be late for if he didn’t finish up soon. “Well, whatever floats your boat, I guess. But I am going to find my soulmate someday. Just you see.” Takaya sighed as he stood up and ruffled Shun’s hair. “Sure you will. See you later, kiddo.”

Yeah, right.

ii.

Takaya’s skepticism was sort of a running joke in his current circle of friends.

And he really couldn’t blame them, because they were all already going out with their soulmates. Shinooka and Mizutani, Sakaeguchi and Suyama, even Izumi had been converted the first week of university when he was ran over by an excited Hamada, who yelled at the entire campus that he had finally found his soulmate. The only sane man in Takaya’s circle of friends was one Hanai Azusa.

The former captain of Nishiura baseball club had a healthy amount of skepticism, which was the only reason why Takaya genuinely liked the guy, but he was also open to the concept of finding his own soulmate. Unlike Takaya who actively tried to shut down any arguments regarding his own past life or soulmate, Hanai very much knew that he was a cook somewhere in Spain in his past life.

Takaya genuinely thought that their circle of friends would stay like that forever, with his friends being fools and him and Hanai being the straight-men of the world. But it all changed when a certain Tajima Yuuichirou from the veterinarian faculty came crashing down on Hanai after the other slipped off the stairs in their favorite café.

It was the first time Takaya saw it with his own eyes. The way those sunflowers bloomed on Hanai’s wrists and all the way until it covered his right arm, feverish and warm and magical as the guy who fell on him groaned and scrambled away from Hanai with identical sunflowers wrapping his left arm. “Whoa!” The stranger said loudly as he eyed Hanai from head to toe. “Are you Mariana?! You’re bald!” Hanai exploded into red when he screamed ‘SHUT UP ANTONIO’ and dragged the other to have a private conversation.

That had been three months ago, and now Tajima Yuuichirou is a part of their group and Takaya had never cursed his life more than he does right now when Tajima was the only person waiting for the others in their favorite booth by the café.

“You know, Abe,” Tajima started as he leaned towards the wall next to him. “Are you really not interested about your soulmate? Or at least what your soul-mark looks like?”

“No.”

“How about your past life? I can remember up to three lives ago perfectly, others kinda blur. But I know that I’ve only been a girl once and Hanai’s been the girl twice.”

Which was hilariously fitting and has been the topic of the group’s running joke for the two months since Tajima told them the story of Mariana the Spanish cook and Caroline the church organist. But really… “I’m not really interested at it, no.”

And unlike Hanai and Tajima, Takaya never had a dream about his own past life. He couldn’t remember them and didn’t really care to remember. He knew that sometimes people would go to hypno-therapist to find out more about themselves but Takaya was not some people.

“Well, suit yourself then,” Tajima said as he took a comic from the table and began reading. Takaya was thankful for the silence between them.

iii.

Takaya woke up feeling terribly hot and feverish, but he had a pop quiz worth forty percent of his grade today and he would not miss them.

His mother was worried and fussed over him and it made him feel nostalgic. She didn’t really fuss over him all these years, but there was someone who… would…?

What?

Takaya shook his head, dismissing his unreasonable déjà vu on his feverish state. The soul-mark on his collarbone was particularly hot, but he slapped it with some cold patch and he was out running to the nearest bus stop.

That day was a particularly blurry day for Takaya when he told the story years after, but there was always one part he could remember clearly more than any other part.

He remembered that it was a spring, and flower petals were falling around campus, and Takaya woke up to a stranger’s crying face.

“-ou o-okay?”

Nowadays when Takaya told the story, he would say that there were two things that caught his attention at that time. The first one was how beautiful the stranger was and the second one was the scattering baby breath flowers on the stranger’s neck.

But really, the first thing Takaya did was knock the stranger’s forehead with his own as he abruptly tried to sit up from the stranger’s lap.

“You’re… Mihashi Ren, right? Best pitcher of Gunma and Tajima’s former pitcher…?”

He was dressed like a typical university student, with a varsity jacket and baseball cap that seemed to hide his eyes. But he was unmistakably Tajima’s best friend, the other half of Gunma’s star-battery of Mihoshi Academy. Takaya knew him from both TV and Tajima, and yet…

It didn’t prepare him for the scattered baby breaths blooming on his collarbone and all the way to his cheek.

Mihashi Ren kept his eyes on the ground, fingers fiddling on his shirt as he struggled to give Takaya the answer to his question. His eyes flitted from the ground and to Takaya’s neck and then to the ground and anywhere but his eyes. “Well?” Takaya pushed, earning a startled garble from Mihashi Ren, who then leaped back on an instant.

“Y-y-yeah! I-I’m Mihashi… Ren…”

Takaya had a really high fever, and he also had a pop quiz worth forty percent of his grade today and he would probably miss them if he didn’t run soon. But…

But that day, Abe Takaya ended up not running to the classroom.

He ran to Mihashi instead.

iv.

When Abe Takaya woke up, he didn’t know why he felt angry that Mihashi Ren was not the first person he saw after he opened his eyes.

It was stupid and ridiculous, and horribly irrational and Takaya hated it and…!

“A-are you… awake…?”

Mihashi Ren was standing behind the curtain that separated Takaya’s bed with the other bed in the infirmary. His fingers curled at the edge of the curtain and only his face was visible. Takaya breathed in relief. He’s okay. He’s safe.

…what?

“Sorry I scared you, Mihashi…” Takaya began as he tried to calm the weird gnawing worry that just won’t leave him alone. Mihashi nodded then shook his head (it was really confusing, but Takaya figured that he just didn’t understand Mihashi) before sitting down on a chair on Takaya’s left. “You… collapsed all of a sudden…” Mihashi mumbled, eyes not meeting Takaya’s own. “I was. Worried. About you.”

“I’m sor-“

“But I always. Worry. Last time, you… didn’t make it…”

Takaya snapped his head at Mihashi, who was still staring at his own lap. His heart was ramming onto his chest, probably because of the fever, but also because of what Mihashi just said. Was this… his past life…?

“Do you remember… your past life?”

There was a nod, and for the first time since their really bizarre encounter, Mihashi stared at him with undeterred determination. Takaya noticed just how… pretty Mihashi looked. Hazel eyes, orange-ish brown hair, furrowed brows and all Takaya could think of was he was home.

“I-I should probably get going. It’s. Weird. I mean, you clearly don’t remember? So…”

Somehow, the notion of Mihashi not being with him ticked him very much. So Takaya grabbed the other’s wrist so hard he could have left a bruise if Mihashi wasn’t wearing a jacket. “Please, stay. I don’t really get it but I don’t like the feeling of you not being with me.” Mihashi stared at him, shocked and scared and relieved all at the same time. It confused Takaya, but he just knew that he had to make Mihashi stay.

“S-sorry…” Mihashi said as he sat on Takaya’s bed, his eyes glued on the baby breath scattered on Takaya’s neck. “I-I don’t think I’ve caught your name…?”

“I’m Abe. Abe Takaya,” now Takaya didn’t know why he cried or why he went on to hug the star baseball player of Gunma whom he knew nothing about, but it felt right and it didn’t feel sappy.

It felt just right.

v.

Tajima Yuuichirou was the first person to scream when Takaya brought Mihashi to his favorite booth at the café.

“SEE?! I TOLD YOU THAT ABE IS PROBABLY YOUR SOULMATE!”

It was deafeningly loud, but Mihashi laughed and it was all that mattered.

(And yes, Takaya knew that he sounded like a lovestruck sap. But it was for Mihashi, so…)

Bonus

Mihashi Ren always loved to sleep in.

It reminded him—grounded him—to the fact that he was not living in his past life when things could go wrong at any time anymore. He was not sleeping in the barracks, where he had to be extra careful not to let anyone knew that they were sharing a blanket together. He was… here.

“Ren… stop wiggling…”

He stilled at the sound, reflexes from his previous life still somehow there. Unlike most people who remembered their past life as something like a dull memory, everything felt too real to him to the point that he had trouble differentiating between his memories and reality. He lost count of the time he broke down and cried whenever the explosion happened and ripped them both apart, only to have his mother and doctor calming and reminding him that nothing was happening to him…

But here he was, Mihashi Ren, sleeping in the arms of Abe Takaya on a lazy Sunday morning. He ran his fingers on Abe-kun’s cheek, slowly noting the peaceful look on his usually-grumpy face, down to the baby breaths scattered around his neck and chest only to converge on a spot on his collarbone…

“Are your perving on me, Ren?”

Ren startled, but Abe-kun pulled his waist until they were even closer than before. “I don’t mind though. You should perv on me some more.” Abe-kun put his face on the crook of Ren’s shoulder and slept.

It was alright. Everything was fine.

This time, they are together.

[dreammutual-remade]

high school!donghyuck

request: idk if you’re taking reqs but i really like ur highscool aus so if u want to write one abt hyuck ill be :^))))))) - anonymous

word count: 5.1k

a/n: oof its been awhile unnies!!!! ive had exams for the past two weeks and I still have exams now so im sorry for not posting anything but reblogs with headassery in the tags!!! we are continuing the high school series n renjun is next!! since I got like 3 requests for him !!!!! hhehhehehheheh its gonna b cute <3 anyways hope u enjoy this I love my lil duckie baby

masterlist

mark, renjun, jeno, donghyuck, jaemin, chenle, jisung

big oof i’m gonna cry while writing this

i’m running out of creative ways to say let’s dive in

let us take the plunge

okay!!!!!!!!!! so you’ve been an editor/writer for the school paper for pretty much all of your high school career

you’re not super well known though because you don’t try to take any credit for anything and always sign your pieces like “- the daily newspaper team” or smth 

anywhom you’ve always loved writing about the stuff around you or making up little short stories

one of your hobbies is just going people watching and trying to write down a brief description of people you see and what you think they’re on the way to do

you’ve befriended the baristas at your favorite spot, lucas and mark, and they always beg to read them but you never let them because mark is too nice to tell you it’s shit and lucas is too dumb to at least say it nicely

you’ve got at least 6 notebooks FULL of these little stories but you’ve never really ? showed anyone because wow showing others your work is Scary

criticism ???/$&/&:&:&:

it’s midway through the first semester of the school year and you’ve been super busy since it’s football season and you gotta write about all the games

and you haven’t had much time to write your cute little stories for yourself and you miss it a lot :/

this weekend though the chance of rain is SUPER high so the football game is cancelled and you have plenty of time to yourself !! :D

there is, a setback tho

THUNDER!!!!! IS SO SCARY !!!!!!

u fckin softie

you decide to tough it out though and get suited up in some polka dot rain boots and a rain jacket and set off to find somewhere to chill

as you’re walking to the nearest lil greenhouse/cafe thing it starts raining ,, ,,, hARDER

when you started it wasn’t rlly raining it was just like that weird tension in the air right before the air pressure drops and it starts to rain and you were already on edge OOF

but then it’s raining so you clutch your notebook to your chest and dash

usain bolt had nothing on you girly you were ZOOM ZOOM

broom broom- doyoung

unfortunately you don’t make it though because with you head down to keep the rain out of your eyes you run RIGHT into someone’s CHEST !!!!!!

hehe u know i’m a sucker for these god damn TROPES

your notebook goes flying and and the arms attached to the Chest That Caused Your Grief come up to catch you by the arms

“oh gOD sorry are you okay ??? i wasn’t looking and i was trying to keep my journal dr- MY JOURNALSDJDDD”

you fling yourself out of this boys arms and pick up your soaking wet journal sadly

:((((((( you had so many stories in there wtf

“oh shit i’m sorry do you uh want me to buy you another one ???”

“no that’s okay it wasn’t your fault :( and it’s just a journal i’m only sad because all my stories are gone :(((((“

you finally look up from your Ruined journal to see , the prettiest boy

you can’t tell for sure cause his hair is soaking wet but it’s a bright red that looks a bit faded and his skin is tanned and golden like HONEY OOF

he meets your eyes and awkwardly smiles and he looks so GUILTY AW

“no really it’s fine don’t feel bad!!”

“okay but i feel bad what can i do to make it up to you?”

“hMMM you could come help me think of wacky stories about people who walk past”

“well if you INSIST m’lady”

“aw, never mind”

“IM JUST KIDDING SJDJJD”

so in the pouring rain you both walk to cafe and find a little corner to people-watch in

on the way there he tells you his name is donghyuck but his friends call him hyuck

“dude that’s the sound goofy makes when he laughs your friends are terrible”

“oh my god i don’t even think they know what they’re saying HsjdjHEHHS”

after a couple minutes of bad goofy impressions you decide to call him duckie instead because ,,,, GARSH MICKEY 🤠🤠🤠

also because it’s cute

you didn’t hear this from me but he uwued so hard rip his street cred with the Boys

anyways right before you settle in you’re like hey uh did you have somewhere to be like weren’t you heading places

and he was like nah i like the rain it’s nice to just walk around feels GOOD

your eyes widen so big and he snorts because what’s so ridiculous about that

and you’re like uh UH NO NOPE NO SIR I DONT FUCK WITH DEMONS

your dramatic ass tries to get up and LEAVE but he grabs your wrist and is like noooo we haven’t even written any stories yet why do you hate rain so much ??

you explain how thunder is the work of the devil and that lightning could strike you down where you stand at any moment and storms are EVIL

he chuckles and side eyes you

“aW you big wimp you’re afraid of thunderstorms aren’t you”

“yES. like any sane person would be”

“you know a lot of people actually like storms”

“like i said, SANE people do not”

and then you change the subject right quick because your face is getting RED with embarrassment

you n donghyuck spend like 2 hours just sitting in the corner and writing little scenarios on napkins

“oh shit that girl over there with the french braids is TOTALLY gonna marry hipster beanie guy in two years. mark my words”

“idk y/n she lowkey has the hots for the barista”

“ ew you mean mark??”

“yeah. now THAT man is a work of art”

MARKHYUCK RISE

“god what is wrong with you maybe you should buy me another book”

“too late now we’re FRIENDS and i don’t owe you ANYTHING”

“being friends doesn’t work like that at all but, okay”

at the end of the day you’ve got a stack of napkins with scribbled notes on them

(one of them has donghyuck’s number on it skdkkfjd)

he leaves you with a bright smile and you’re in awe this boy is so golden and lovely

oof and when you were still in the cafe his hair had dried to the unnatural red color that he ? somehow made look good ugh not fAIR

and it was a lil curly and fluffy and looked very soft :(((((

as you walk home you drift along the sidewalk with a stupid smile on your face wow please get a little less obvious hunty

when you get home the sun is setting and the rain has cleared and you are so Happy that was the best day !!!

you weren’t even scared of the thunder because whenever the sky would fckin CRACK OPEN hyuck would subtly try to keep your attention and distract you with questions

the sky: AAAAAAAAAAA

duckie: oH Hey uhhh so hOW do you even come up these stories ?):$:$ theyre so good

such a sweet boy uwu

when you get home your mom eyes you suspiciously as you drift down the hall towards your room but doesn’t comment

she didn’t need to though because you immediately return and tell her everything !!!

she encourages you to befriend him at school and see where it goes from there ;))) or just TEXT HIM

so you do

both of those things !!!

you: hey!! it’s y/n btw

duckie: hey! u make it home alive without the sky cracking open and killing u

you: stOP MAKING FUN OF ME

you send him memes and he sends , even better ones back this boy is Husband Material

the next couple weeks you realize that hyuck is actually in like a lot of your classes

and he’s like yeah i don’t blame you for not noticing since your nose is always in one of those Damn Journals

can’t believe u smh

anywhom

you start actually interacting with people in class

and by people i mean donghyuck and any of his friends who happen to be there

you literally get thrown into their friendgroup like one day you know donghyuck and have vaguely heard of jeno since he’s on the soccer team

and then the next you’re a part of the group message and jaemin begs for your math homework during lunch ????

“jaemin just dO YOUR OWN HOMEWORK FOR ONCE ???”

“ugh but i don’t know how”

“hey you know what maybe if you didn’t sleep in class you WOULD”

“IM TIRED GOD DAMN IT”

this is usually when duckie interjects with

“hey now girls, you’re both smart <3”

“i know im smart but , jaemin , i don’t know about him 😔😔”

poor jaemin leave him alone :(

jisung is , extREMELY awkward around you because he’s a Baby Freshman and you’re a Female Senior hsjdjf it’s so cute

and chenle is the complete opposite he IMMEDIATELY latches onto you and is always like

“y/n !!!! wanna watch this video of me singing and playing the piano when i was thirteen on live national television !!!!”

“y/N !!!!!!! can you drive me n jisung to get ice cream plEASE !!! we won’t even play PSY this time”

“okay,,,,, pinky promise?”

his pinky hooks around yours at an incredible speed as he jumps up and down with excitement

“pinky promise !!!!!!!!!!”

hyuck overhears and insists upon coming with for , unknown reasons

renjun and jeno keep snickering to each other across the lunch table too uGH

sneaky bastards !

after school you wait in the parking lot for the Babies with hyuck who looks rather flushed considering his skin is pretty tan and it takes a lot for him to visibly blush ??

“hey duckie boy you good?”

“haha yEAH uh just wondering where the boys are hhhh”

“oh yeah ! they should’ve been here like 10 mins ago”

your phone buzzes in your pocket and you go to check it to see a text in the group message

lele: hey y/n~ me n jisung can’t come we totally forgot we joined a frisbee team and there’s practice today !!!

blueberry: yeah ! have fun w/ hyuckie tho

moominluvr96: sjdjd i’m so proud of them

jenomunomunomu: absolute legends have fun at ur frisbee practice my sons

you: 🅱️ro i wanted to go home and SLEEP

blueberry: sorry ! xoxo :*

duckie: chenle my son ? how could you 🅱️etray me this way???

you: ur dead to me

you: literally what’s a chenle ?? sounds like a poisonous fruit

lele: NO IM SORRY

but tbh you’re just being Silly you don’t mind just going with Sunshine Boy

hyuck has only gotten redder as the texting went on though what’s his deal 0.0

you agree to take his car !

actually you insist because you don’t wanna drive but, let’s say you agreed

you find out that hyuck exclusively listens to hipster bands and the occasional troye sivan song because we love a gay legend

actually his music taste is ALL OVER THE PLACE but we r still boppin ladies

you roll the windows down even tho it’s Chilly and let your hand float in the breeze until your fingers start getting numb and you pull your hand back in and roll up the window

okay maybe that was a Bad Idea your fingers almost hurt they’re so cold and you’re rubbing the feeling back into them when hyuck clears his throat

you look up at him and he tilts his chin toward the hand he stretched toward you

you’re confused bc like ? i don’t have anything to give u duckie

he sighs anxiously

“just. give me your hand. mine are warm because i didn’t try to be cool and stick my hand out the window like this is a teen coming of age movie”

“have you ever just been nice and not followed it up with a weirdly specific insult”

“nope. now gimme”

you cautiously placed your hand in his and felt heat bloom all over your cheeks and trail up to your ears and down your neck

he gulps and interlocks your fingers and tucks them in the pocket of his hoodie

you have to lean against the console in between you a little so that your arm isn’t strained but it’s,,,,, Warm and Nice

you’re quick to continue the conversation like normal but your voice sometimes goes in and out since he is subconsciously rubbing his thumb over the back of your hand or tapping his fingers against yours

when you arrive you awkwardly pull your hand from his grip to get out of the car and he cringes a lil :(

you decide to be bold for once in your life and run around the car to catch up with him and shove your other hand into his

“this one’s cold too”

he ducks his head and smiles but gives your hand a lil squeeze :3 uwu

eventually though you do have to let go and enjoy your ice cream

you just make small talk with him about the newspaper and whatever homework is due the next day when a man walks in wearing BRIGHT RED CLOWN SHOES

the weirdest part though is the fact that other than the clown shoes the man is dressed like a body builder and has the hulking mass of one

and also there is a PARROT ON HIS SHOULDER ???

you and hyuck whip to face each other and then look back at the man

without looking away you slide your notebook to the middle of the table and flip open to where you’ve bookmarked the next available page

needless to say you both have a field day making up storylines for this man

“hey hyuckie i missed this it’s been forever since it’s been just the two of us and my journal”

“me too, sunshine”

“heY now you’re the sunshine in this relationship”

both of you choke at your use of the term “relationship” but continue with the conversation JSKSK

“alright but then you have to be the rain”

“aw you know i don’t like the rain”

“yes i know that’s why YOU are sunshine”

“kay but you are so much more like sunshine than i, an Emo”

“how bout i be sunshine since you like sunshine and me, and you be rain since i like rain and you”

OOF ????????

you blush for the Millionth Time and nod shyly and duckie is about to turn purple YIKES

you leave the ice cream shop and climb back in the car and the whole atmosphere is very Tense

you sigh because you miss holding his hand and then turn up the song on the radio which just happens to be, Walkin On Sunshine

THE !!! IRONY !!!

you giggle into your hand and he snorts and you both break into laughter

you plug your phone into the aux

“alright time for some Real Tunes”

“i swear to GOD if you play Bad Boy one more time i’m gonna LOSE IT”

“fuck you red velvet are LEGENDS”

“the only reason you know who they are is because mark tells everyone with a pulse that one of them is from canada just like him”

“okay and ??? i can still appreciate that they produce iconic songs only”

“LISTEN I LOVE RED VELVET TOO BUT ENOUGH IS ENOUGH”

you playfully bicker the whole way back and when you get back to the school to pick up your car you realize you never even got to play your song

“for your information, i was in fact NOT going to play bad boy i was going to play the bop of the century, what is love by twice”

and then, with heavy sarcasm

“well gee why didn’t you just sAY SO”

“IM SICK OF YOUR GIRL GROUP SLANDER LEE DONGHYUCK”

then he giggles and grabs your hand to keep you from getting more than halfway out of the car

“okay okay you know i’m just messing with you”

“yes but leave my gorls out of it”

he releases your hand with fake disgust and wipes it on the passenger seat headrest

“ugh go home, gru”

“it’s a good meme and you can’t even deny it duckie boy”

you blow him a half serious half playful kiss as you bounce over to your car and climb in

you play bad boy and roll the windows down as you drive by his car just to spite him and he laughs good naturedly

it’s only when you get home that you’re like heyyyy nOW

WAS THAT A DATE ??????

you tell your mom about it and she’s like uHHH sounds like a DATE to me ???

but you’re Unsure so you don’t say anything to the others or hyuck just the usual goodnight texts and whatnot

although it could be argued ,, that goodnight texts are a little, relationship-y

it could also be argued , that you do have his contact name as , duckie☼♥

but those can be discussed another time

you continue to hang out with the boys although you refuse to allow them to sit with you at football games because they’re so DISTRACTING

jeno and jisung just fckin yell the whole time while you try to jot notes down to turn it into a story later for the paper

but you can’t concentrate or even figure out wtf is goin on because they’re scREAMING and jumping and messing you uP !

so you sent them elsewhere although,,, hyuck stayed with you

he always does “just in case you get cold or smth”

ur not fooling anyone hyuckie baby

and would you look at that time has FLOWN and it’s time for homecoming !!!!

you plan on going in a big group with hyuck and all The Boys and jaemin has even scored a date !!!

it was highkey through trickery but that’s okay

chenle and jisung are gonna wear matching shirts because they’re headass like that

you’ve already bought a dress and you haven’t ….. shown hyuckie……. just in case……… he asks you

since he…… hasn’t …… YET

renjun keeps assuring you that you don’t need to find a date and that everything is covered but ???? inch resting how duckie has done nOT ONE THING

alright the day of the dance you wake up feeling a little off but go through your normal saturday routine of eating a waffle and absentmindedly watching old gossip girl reruns

but later in the day you feel SHITTY

you’re flushed and your head hurts and it takes so much EFFORT just to get up and get a glass of water

you , comrade, are sick :-(

you text in the gm to let your boys know you can’t come

chenle thinks you’re faking until he calls and hears you sniffling and how rough your voice sounds

“hEY THOT I KNOW UR FAKING BC U DONT HAVE A DATE”

“chenle if it didn’t hurt to speak i would yell at u but my eyes are watering please just text me”

“oh,,,,sorry love u”

and then he hangs up real fast lmao

so you decide to just wallow in despair in your bed and rent overpriced movies on demand

there’s a half drank mug of tea that has long gone cold that contains the medicine you’re supposed to be taking but,, you can’t be bothered tbh lifting your hand is so hard

after a few movies and the sun setting there’s knock at the door ???

you barely hear it since you’re in your room with the door closed but /sigh/ you gotta go answer

you drag yourself out of bed and stumble to the front door and open it, immediately slumping against the frame

this whole time you have still not opened your eyes because light hurts a lil and you know your house well enough

in hindsight that was probably dumb considering you don’t know who’s at the door

you try to open your eyes but they only turn half lidded and droopy so you can just barely make out donghyuck looking Concerned on your front porch

“duckie? what are u doing here?”

“uhhh i uh came to take you to homecoming ??”

he then holds up some flowers and smiles awkwardly

“duckie. baby. sunshine. did u not read the texts i sent ? also it is VERY late to be asking me to homecoming. also, i am a little high on cold medication”

“srry princess, can i come in? you look like you need company and soup and possibly some Sarcastic Banter”

“sounds good duck”

“okay duckie was already incorrect please don’t shorten it to duck”

“you know i didn’t have to let you in”

“so what kind of soup do you want? :-)”

he busies himself attempting to make soup while you have melted into a chair at the dining table with one eye cracked open to watch him

he is very obviously Struggling so you wobble to your feet to stand behind him at the stove and maybe lean a little too much into his back to prop your chin up on his shoulder and reach a hand around him to turn the heat down on the stove

you’ve reached the point of I Don’t Give A Shit and have given up on trying not to be affectionate with him you’re too tired and sickly to restrain yourself and his heart is just steadily beating faster and faster

after your soup you drag him into your bedroom to force him to provide you warmth while watching another movie

but he digs his heels into the floor and tugs on your hand to turn you around

“since you’re missing homecoming….. wanna dance?”

“in my bedroom. while i’m dying. with no music.”

“i’ll take care of the music. cmon don’t be difficult”

“i’m not being difficult i’m just-

you’re cut off by him pressing a finger to your lips and going shhhhhh

you open your mouth to curse him out bc hOW DARE HE

but then he gently pulls you by the waist into his chest and does his best to tuck you under his chin

you’re too comfortable like this so you don’t bother admonishing him for earlier and just settle into his embrace

you loop your arms around his neck as he starts to sway you back and forth

after a couple seconds he starts humming, quietly at first and then louder

and then he starts singing and it’s so sO SWEET AND SOFT

you can feel each breath he takes under your hands and the vibrating of his vocal chords against your forehead and you just close your eyes and press closer to him

you’ve literally never been this content in your whole life binch

he is so warm and ever so often smooths a hand up and down your spine whenever you shiver a little or shift in his arms

when the song finishes you keep swaying with him a little while longer

you’re leaning against him so hard that like the majority of your weight is on him yikes

“babe are you asleep”

“mm”

“no?”

“mmm”

“pretty close though?”

“hm”

“alright”

he chuckles and presses a barely there kiss to the top of your head and sort of waddles the two of you over to the bed

you don’t even have to ask him to climb in with you that was The Plan, Stan

(that’s a saying and also i’m calling u a stan wow queen of puns)

as soon as he settles in you tuck yourself under his arm and throw an arm over him to play with the fingers of his other hand

you’ve got the breakfast club on and it’s Real Nap Hours

hyuck’s arm falls asleep pretty soon tho so instead you switch to laying on your sides facing each other with your face pressed into his neck and your arms draped over each other

right before you fade into unconciousness, he tilts his chin down and nudges his nose against yours to get your attention

your eyes flutter open and you look up at him while he smiles gently down at your sleepy expression aWE ???

“hey wanna be my date when you’re not on your death bed?”

“god, what a romantic. is that a shakespeare quote?”

“shut up and say yes”

“alright fine”

“with more enthusiasm!”

“YES!! GOD DAMN IT”

he shakes his head but then leans down to press a lingering kiss against your cheek before tucking you back against him and evening out his breathing

you fall asleep and dream of boys with beautiful voices who love to dance in the rain

a couple hours later you wake up to a forehead smooch and your Boy whispering bye angel

you sit up and whine and he’s like bby i have to go it’s like midnight n my momma wants me home :(((

you pout and he giggles and taps your lips with his index finger

“go back to sleep and i’ll text you something nice to wake up to yeah?”

you nod and grab his hand to kiss it before flopping back down and passing The Fuck Out

the next morning you wake up still feeling a bit shitty but smiling anyways bc you’ve scored the cutest boy in the universe uwu

he even kept his promise and left you a cute message to wake up to ;((((

duckie☼♥: good morning bbg i hope ur feeling better today and that the sun shines all day for u !!!

you: JEKDKDJ DUCKIE IM STILL SICK BUT TAKE ME ON A DATE RN

you: 💗💗💗💕💌💞💞💗😤💖🤧😔💗😔🤧😔🌺💐🌺🌺🌸💐😔💛😔💛💐🤧💐💐💖💖

duckie☼♥: noooo ur gross

you: you ruined it :(((

duckie☼♥: i mean noooo u gotta get better

you: okay :)))

you finally get over your cold like 4 days later and insist you’re fine to be Taken Out And Treated Like A Princess

he tells you to dress warm except gloves bc he wants to hold youR HAND CAN YOU BELIEVE

you’re weirdly not nervous ? like you thought you would be but you’re just excited and very happy !!!! uwu

he picks you up about an hour after school and reveals that he’s gonna take you to all the cafes in town to people watch and write stories which is !!! your favorite activity !!!!!!

“is it lame??? oh god you think it’s lame i’m so sORRY”

“nO!!! no i love it you did good”

“are you sure?”

“yes duckie”

“okay good i mean i knew you’d like it”

“but you just-“

“hm?”

“,,,,, nevermind”

you both hike around town until it gets late and you’re tired and you end up on a bench in the local park with his head in your lap and your fingers in his hair

you lightly scratch his scalp and hum and he practically PURRS like a cat

(furry ????? it’s more likely than you think)

his eyes are closed and you trace your fingers over his features lightly until it tickles and he scrunches up his nose aw bABY !!!!!

then, without opening his eyes

“so when are you gonna man up and kiss me?”

“first of all, i will never man up i prefer being female thanks. sECOND WHY DO I GOTTA DO IT”

“i asked you on the date !!! you gotta do something!!!”

“i held your hand first!!”

“after i literally offered my hand to you”

“uGH fine come here”

“no i’m not gonna ‘come here’ you literally just made a disgusted noise at the thought of kissing me”

“it wasn’t at the thought of kissing you it was just at you”

“this isn’t helping at all”

you roll your eyes playfully and then yank him up by the collar of his shirt to press your forehead against his

“does this help?”

aND THEN YOU LAY ONE ON HIM ??????:$&:&;&;

QUEEN OF CONFIDENCE

he sighs against your lips and sits up a little more so he can reach you better, smoothing a hand up to cup the side of your jaw and neck

you pull away and his eyes are still closed

“hmmm,,, yeah”

you scoff and drop him back to half laying on your lap

“you’re such a dork”

“yeah but i’m your dork now so it’s embarrassing for both of us”

“aw i wouldn’t have it any other way <333”

“is it just me or was that sarcasm”

“just you <3333”

renjun, who has been rOOTING FOR YOU GUYS THIS ENTIRE TIME

screams when you call him that night lol

literally SCREECHES

chenle happens to be with him and screeches eVEN LOUDER

basically the whole group screams simultaneously they’ve been shipping it since day one

hyuck is a bit prideful so when you guys are out in public he’s not super affectionate but ,, when you’re not out

he’s wrapped around you like a koala and will never let go

you have to go pee? hold it

you’re dehydrated and dying? you can live off of his Love

your favorite activity to do together is BAKING because it never goes well no matter how hard you try

and although it usually ends in DISASTER it’s also a good time and afterwards duckie lets you curl up between his legs on the couch and nap uwu !

dating really didn’t change the dynamic between you two other than affection you still read each other to DUST on the regular  lmao

no one gets too harsh tho bc you love each other and whatnot

ugh love ruins all the FUN doesnt it :/

donghyuck makes it his business to know exactly when it will rain and makes sure to be with you when it does

at the first sight of clouds he is in your house with board games and movies and snuggles to distract you !!! what a sweetheart

on days when it’s really bad you just climb into bed and bury your face in his chest while he talks about whatever comes to mind and distracts you

he also takes to slumping down and falling asleep on your shoulder whenever you have movie nights together and it’s so CUTE

his little heart shaped lips and his cheeks always end up smushed and he just looks adorable wow rip you

he’s obsessed with your cheeks he loves to cup your face while he talks to you and press gentle kisses to them during Sleepy Time or when you part ways in the school hallways

if he’s excited he’ll bound up behind you and wrap his arms around you and kiss your cheek real hard and then start babbling about whatever’s got him so worked up

basically, hyuckie is a boy full of sunshine and passion and sarcasm and he’s the best boyfriend you could ever ask for :’-)

[midnight-circus]

another bullshit meme

from sidebloggable

answered for logan and lucius bc i dont talk about my big dumb idiot enough

and im actually gonna answer for their original Fable timeline bc ive been feelin nostalgic recently

Their physical weak spots

Logan - depends on his age and/or stress-levels. He has a fair amount of upper body strength from swinging twin swords around all the fucking time, but it wouldn’t be ridiculously hard to overpower him if you could disarm and get hold of him - however, he’s fast, agile and extremely skilled, and it’s getting hold of him in the first place that’s the issue. In the middle of his reign, on the other hand, his body condition takes a dramatic dive - he’s pretty severely underweight and loses a lot of his muscle tone, and it really wouldn’t take much at all to best him. 

Lucius - Lucius is a big, heavy mercenary who fights with a broadsword, so it’s hard to get the best of him in a one-to-one melee fight. However, he’s missing his left eye and is deaf in his left ear - subsequently if you use a little bit of stealth and come at him hard and fast from the left, you’ve got a pretty good chance of getting the jump on him. He’s also into middle-age and despite having decent reactions, a younger man of the same build as him might just pip him to the post.

Their emotional/moral weak spots

Logan - oh god lmao. Logan’s a mess, but his primary emotional weak spot is his siblings - be they his original two (hey queenie and dorian) or Morgan. I think he feels a bond that’s closer to paternal than fraternal, and I think the only way he can really justify to himself the pain he puts them through is telling himself he’s doing it for them. ok honestly, he will do fucking anything for them. at the climax of the revolution, the primary thought running through his head is how fucking proud he is. be nice if he said it out loud every once a while - hell, itd be nice if he’d just asked for some fuckin help before causing the literal death of hundreds of people - but yknow. thats just going one step too far i guess

Lucius - he’s a bleeding heart. when Morgan and his little band of rebels rock up in the Dweller village, Lucius is already there running supplies up and down the mountain to them; he watches way too many kids starve to death, and joins up with the rebels in order to lead them through Mourningwood. then he gets a crush on morgan’s little bitch face and just like. never leaves lmao. He’s easily blinded by injustice and gets worked up really quickly when he sees wrong being done - it can lead him to act recklessly or thoughtlessly at times.

Scars or painful spots

Logan - asides from the obvious scars across his lips (fencing wounds when he was a boy), he took some nasty damage from the Crawler during the three days he was trapped in the Auroran cave - he’s got a network of scars on his back that look a little like lashmarks. they hurt when they’re touched and he Does Not talk about them. he’s also got a few other scars here and there on his arms and chest from miscellaneous scraps and scuffles, and he has a deep puncture scar on his abdomen from an assassination attempt, but the less said about those the better.

Lucius - lmao Lucius is literally missing half his face to scar-tissue. he was attacked by a dog as a boy and it left him heavily messed-up. he’s also a merc, as i said, so he’s got a lot of miscellaneous old wounds but nothing quite as obvious as the ones his face. 

Best places to kiss on their body

Logan - oh, the neck, bitch. he’s also kind of a slut for being kissed on the insides of his wrists; anywhere vulnerable, basically. if you could kill him there, kiss him there. freak-ass bitch.

Lucius - dude just likes a nice traditional french kiss man nothing crazy. but also definitely give him a blowjob. i know this question said kissing but lets be real thats kind of a kiss.

Guilty pleasures

Logan - he reads really terrible novels. like…really terrible. he pretends he’s reading something highbrow and intellectual but its actually a shitty romance recovered with something suitably acceptable and nobody can know

Lucius - he doesnt have any ‘guilty’ pleasures tbh, he just enjoys stuff unashamedly. he’s too thick to feel guilty

Their vices (physical or emotional)

Logan - lets be real, he’s probably done, like. an impressive amount of coke. i guess the terrible sleeping and eating habits are probably also a vice but like. it’s mainly the coke

Lucius - he smokes like a fuckin chimney

Their tickle spots

Logan - not only does he not have any, but you would also die for trying. Elrick disagrees.

Lucius - his ribs, but he is uncontrollably violent when he’s tickled so its a real good way to get a broken nose. he doesn’t mean to do it, he just spasms. 

Bad memories/experiences

Logan - lmao. I’ll skip the most obvious (the 3-Day Auroran Extravaganza) because i think that goes without saying - it left him with crippling PTSD and damaged his mind heavily and insidiously. he was already pretty traumatised by his childhood and i think being forced into so many responsibilities so young also messed him up a little. it’s more like….rather one one or two specific experiences, its more just a general feeling of Bad that has stuck with him throughout his life. It was worsened by his later experiences, and essentially primed him for failure.

Lucius - yknow i was thinking about how to word the answer to this question and i realised that i accidentally made Lucius into Batman. His family farm was attacked and burnt to the ground by bandits when he was about 12; his parents and siblings were killed, and he only escaped by hiding in the coal-cellar. Later, he joined up with the mercenaries to try and track down the group that targeted them. fuck hes batman. i didnt mean to batman

Humiliating memories

Logan - oh man his father was a pro at humiliation. mistakes or oversights werent just punished, they were fuckin learned from, and he figured the best way to do this was humiliation - generally through public displays of What You Did Wrong and repeated recitations of the mistake in front of the people whose opinions Logan valued. It was kind of the catalyst for his inferiority complex and intense desire to succeed without input from others. 

Lucius - again, Lucius doesn’t really experience embarrassment - he’s kind of too laid-back for it. yes, it was embarrassing the one time he fell over carrying two milk buckets and threw them all over himself in front of the handsome boy from the next farm over and the guy started laughing at him but like. you live and learn and the dude turned out to have a really ugly laugh anyway so who cares

Fears/phobias

Logan - he’s always had claustrophobia, but after the Auroran Experience this intensifies to a whole new level, and he also develops crippling nyctophobia. part of this is due to his hallucinatory psychosis - he sees things pretty much constantly, but it worsens in low lighting - but it’s also due to the fact that there may very well be actual Things in the dark and he struggles to tell reality from hallucination

Lucius - dogs. fuckin dogs. he hates dogs theyre literally so scary even the small ones bc the small ones move so quick and you never know when theyre gonna come at you

Bad or petty habits

Logan - oh, he’s just a petty bitch. he’s also outwardly arrogant, even if his internal feelings don’t match up to that. drily sarcastic, too, tho a person only really sees that when they get past the walls he throws up - Elrick is very familiar with it. 

Lucius - he’s constantly standing to the right-hand side of people and then he wonders why he cant hear them properly

Grudges and vendettas

Logan - he’d hold a grudge against his father if he wasnt dead. he also holds a pretty heavy grudge against Theresa for not just fucking telling him.

Lucius - at first, only against the bandits that killed his family, but once he deals with them hes kind of at a loss as to where to go next. fortunately Logan starts starving people shortly afterwards, so if nothing else it gives him a kickstart into the rest of his life. Subsequently, Lucius will hold a vendetta against Logan for the rest of his life, even after he has been in a relationship with Morgan for years - he will never forgive him for the shit he put the common people through, and he doesnt really give a shit about the ~pressures~ Logan was under at the time. fuckin excuses, man. 

Ingrained habits/forces of habit

Logan - his terrible sleeping/eating patterns. even before trauma and night-terrors made it almost impossible for him to sleep peacefully, he didn’t get more than 5 or 6 hours a night, if that.

Lucius - if something is smaller than him, he’ll protect it. he’ll also protect things bigger than him, if given half the chance. hes basically a golden retriever in human form, which is ironic considering his feelings about dogs.

What it takes to make them cry

Logan - would rather die than cry, quite literally.

Lucius - his heart is softer than butter, he’ll cry at anything. he’ll cry at an injured pigeon on the street. 

Dark secrets/’skeletons in the closet’

Logan - never, ever, ever talks about what happened in Aurora. The details die with him.

Lucius - he doesn’t really have any - he’s not ashamed of much in his life, and he’s never done anything terrible enough to render it a skeleton. 

People they’ve hurt or indirectly killed, and how it affected them

Logan - L M A O. yes, it affected him terribly, but tbqh however much its affected him kind of plays second fiddle to how much his actions affected other people.

Lucius - has killed a lot of people who deserved it during his mercenary years, and justifies it to himself by being absolutely certain that they did deserve it. sometimes he doubts this, though, and that doubt plays a big part in his eventually getting out of the game entirely

People who’ve influenced them greatly

Logan - Walter, tho he’ll never admit it in a million years and he still definitely kneecapped him right at the start of the game so idk what that says about him

Lucius - Morgan. it’s real gay, i know, but there it is.

[atmilliways]

👻 Nathan!

Okay, so I started with this non-human prompt meme, picked up most of Part I of this from a random prompt that passed by on my dash somewhere to get me started, and drew some ideas for Part III from @spys-art-blog‘s thoughts about godklok stuff. It DOES include Nathan talking to a ghost. It’s also a little like that thing that happened in fourth season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer when suddenly Dawn is there, and always has been, and technically that’s new but she’s been retconned into everyone’s memories so no one questions it. 

~

I. Because One Day You May Be Called

It would forever baffle Charles as to how quickly things could go wrong. One minute he was driving along the familiar route between the office and home. The next, he was spinning out of control towards the concrete barrier at the end of the bridge, barely able to glimpse the truck that had decimated the right side of his car. In the short time it took for his hands to let go of the wheel and his car to reach the barrier, he’d managed to bang his head on something and gain a nice little cut along the side of his face. 

Then the car hit the barrier. The sudden stop made him imagine the entire world halting on its axis, his stomach lurching and his head spinning even faster now that he was no longer in motion with it. Groaning, he blindly reached out for some kind of surface, only then realizing his glasses had been flung from his face. The blurry interior of the car made him more disoriented, but he managed to locate the window and look up.

A dark shape was rushing towards him, too large to be a person. The truck, his mind supplied simply. The implications of what that rapidly approaching shape meant only clicked when it was a few feet away and he only had enough time to take a sharp breath in understanding.

II. To Meet The Mighty Gods

At first, it came as a shock when he regained consciousness. Okay, Charles thought, so I’m not dead. He felt as though he was floating, which he supposed meant he was safe in a hospital bed, wrapped in a soothing cocoon of pain medication, with medical attention only a call button press away. The second and far more lasting shock came when he opened his eyes. 

He actually was floating, cushioned by thin air about ten feet above the scene of the crash. What little he could see of the passenger car left little hope that the body inside was still intact, and yet, when he touched the numb skin of his cheek, there was red on his apparently solid fingertips. How could he bleed if he was already dead?

Everything was eerily silent. 

And he felt watched. The clusterfuck of snarled traffic rapidly lost his interest as the feeling intensified, as though eyes were boring into him from several different directions at once, pinning him in place. 

Charles whipped his head around, half expecting to see… what? There was nothing. Just a sweeping view of ocean, glittering and blue and deep. The freeway had been built atop steep cliffs, and from where he hovered it seemed that one impatient shrug of the earth was all it would take to tumble the entire ribbon of asphalt and cars into the churning water. Golds, oranges, and reds bled into everything from the setting sun, painting everything but the pale sliver of rising moon with brilliant light. There was no wind, at least where Charles was. 

He’d driven home this way hundreds of times. Thousands. Yet, as he hung in the air above his mortal remains, he couldn’t remember ever taking a single moment to appreciate the view. 

“It’s beautiful,” he whispered. 

IT IS. 

He hadn’t realized that he hadn’t been breathing before. Funny what the lack of breath catching in sudden terror could tell you. And had he been straining his eyes looking for whatever was watching him, or did the glints of reddish light catching on the ocean waves form the vague shape of a man? 

A man that seemed more real and more imaginary the longer he stared, far away and right there at the same time. Not a man — there was no way, it was too impossible. Whatever it was, it looked down at the wrecked vehicles below with an air of passive satisfaction. 

Then it turned it’s terrible gaze upon Charles with decidedly less passivity. Shadows fell across its face like long dark hair, or long strings of seaweed swaying in the current below the water’s surface, and that, Charles knew, was what had been watching him. 

It bared it’s shark teeth at him and asked, WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? 

Charles opened his mouth, closed it, looked down at the rapidly drying blood on his fingers. “I, ah… I used to be someone,” he mumbled. “Now I’m dead.“ 

YOU ARE NOTHING. 

He found himself nodding. No family. No wife or kids, not even a girlfriend. Not even a pet. Riding a desk in a dead-end job that he’d had since graduating college with a degree in law that he’d never bothered to use, and was too apathetic to leave for anything better. There was no one to miss him, no way to claim that he’d made any sort of positive impression on the world before leaving it. Or even a negative one, for that matter. Nothing. 

“Yes,” he agreed quietly. 

WOULD YOU CHOSE TO BE MORE? 

Charles felt his heart leap at the suggestion, and that seemed to be answer enough. The apparition narrowed its glowing red eyes. It seemed pleased. 

SO BE IT. 

And suddenly there was wind, twisting and writhing around him like a bed of snakes, as though it had always been there but had been holding still, awaiting orders. The earth flew towards him and the sea rose up, the sun and moon grew huge in the sky, and Charles passed unto utter blackness as reality reknitted itself around him. 

III. Deep Within The Ocean

The ghost stood in the center of a cavernous office. Somewhere in the gloom above there were elaborate chandeliers, but most of the lightbulbs were broken and the only light of the setting sun came in weak streams between the boards nailed up over broken windows. It was deathly still, and the air tasted of ash and dust. 

He wasn’t sure what he was doing there, or how he knew he was a ghost. The longer he stood there the more he felt as though it was where he belonged. It was a nagging, annoying feeling, as though he had just been about to do something very important but forgotten what it was. Or… hadn’t been told yet?

A sudden crash behind him made him flinch, but just barely. 

“CHARLES,” someone roared. A man, very gravelly-voiced and very, very drunk. The ghost was distantly impressed that amidst all that stumbling he was still managing to keep his feet. “CHARLES, it’s me, NATHAN. Where… where the fuck…!” 

His dark green eyes fell on the ghost, who felt the impact as a full body jolt because he hadn’t expected to be seen. Apparently the man, Nathan, hadn’t exactly expected to see him either because he swayed to a stop. With one hand — the other still had a tight grip on a bottle of tequila — Nathan pushed long hair out of his face and squinted uncertainly. 

“Charles. Is that… You’re here?” Nathan looked up at the ceiling as though the broken chandeliers could offer some sort of explanation, then at his feet, then at his bottle, which he took a swig from. That seemed to strengthen his grasp on the situation. “I mean… You. Are here. Good.” He swayed. “I’ve got… There’s… fuckin’ problems.” 

“I see,” the ghost replied, and cleared his throat. “Please, have a seat.” The hand gesture toward the big dust felt perfectly natural, though the ghost hadn’t previously paid much mind to the furniture before that moment. So did walking around the dominating piece of furniture and taking a seat, ignoring, for the moment, that there was a dust cover on the large wingback chair and he sank into it slightly without so much as a crinkle or rustle of fabric. 

Nathan trailed after him. Both of the chairs in front of the desks were on their sides, as though the same impact of whatever had blown the now shuttered windows in had knocked them over as well. He gamely put his bottle down and spent a minute clumsily righting one, then dropped into it with a huff and squinted again. 

“What was I talking about?” 

The ghost folded his hands before him on the dusty wooden surface. “I believe you mentioned having problems.” 

Nathan’s dower expression brightened a fraction as he remembered. “Fuck, yeah…” Then his face fell. “It’s all fucked up. All the… money, and… You… We’re broke.” 

He retrieved his bottle and sipped from it, shoulders slumped and looking older than the ghost thought he should — not that the ghost knew what his age actually was. But there was a dawning familiarity building up in the back of his mind, like a favorite, nearly forgotten tune just in the edge of hearing. 

“It’s hard,” Nathan confided, slumping further towards the desk. “It’s really… hard without you. I don’t know how to do this shit. Press releases and financial… fuckin’… bullshit…” 

Yes, the ghost thought, I remember this. Did he, though? Or had the information just arrived his head? He couldn’t remember. Absently, he adjusted his glasses and rubbed his fingertips against the side of his face, tracing a scar that ran from cheekbone to jaw. 

It didn’t matter. There was a job to do, and he was the best man for it. 

“I’m sure we can sort this out,” Charles said firmly. “Walk me through it.” 

IV. And If You’re Not Prepared

Air slammed into his lungs, accompanied by the sting of pins and needles in… well, everything. 

Charles remembered reading once that many bodily functions — digestion, for example — were quite painful, but the human nervous system was wired to tell the conscious mind to ignore it. For a moment, he felt every cubic inch of his body, and could ignore none of it. 

When the feeling passed and the echoes of his hoarse screams died away, Charles tried to sit up and was gently pushed back down. 

“Be still,” a soothing, age-worn voice told him. “The Gods of the Klok have restored you, but at great cost. It will be some time before you are truly whole again.” 

Charles allowed himself to fall back into the soft bed, secretly relieved. “What happened,” he croaked. 

“They have chosen you to be their champion, and made it so that it has always been so,” the old man told him solemnly. 

He remembered the ocean and broken glass. 

“You are the Dead Man.” 

He remembered talking to something that looked like Nathan, and then remembering who Nathan was after the fact, because… because…

“In time, you will forget that it was any other way.” 

V. Your Soul Will Not Be Spared

Thousands of leagues away, in a dragon-shaped mansion hovering miles above sea level, Nathan Explosion woke with his cheek resting on a puddle of tequila-drool. He lifted his head and immediately regretted it. 

“Dood, wake up!” Pickles was shaking his shoulder. “Don’t know what you’re doin’ in’ere anyway, it’s still a disaster area in this wing…” 

“Wha…?” Nathan squeezed his eyes shut, feeling like they were about two sizes to large for his head, and tried to focus on where ‘in here’ was. 

He had been… What had he been doing? 

There had been drinking, obviously. And then he’d wandered around, pacing down up and down the halls until he’d arrived at their manager’s office. 

“I was. Uh. Talking to Charles about… money?” he guessed. As he said it, the memory solidified somewhat in his head. “Yeah. Money.” 

Pickles’ stopped shaking his arm and frowned. “Nat’n, that’s impossible. Ofdensen’s d… He hamburger timed. Remember?” 

“But I…” Nathan froze halfway towards wiping the gross spit off his face. He’d just gotten so used to Charles being there all those years that he’d stormed in blind drunk and… passed out and dreamed the whole thing, apparently, because the man was dead. They’d had a funeral pyre and everything; there was no way what he remembered could have actually happened. 

Unless it was a ghost, Nathan thought despondently. But what were the chances of that? 

While he was still mulling that over, Pickles sighed and shook his head. “Dood, ya really gotta lay off the tequila. Now c’mon, this place ain’t gonna remodel itself. I think I’ve almost got the hang of that circular saw thing…”

[warmau]

{Special} College!AU Youngk

major: business administration - concentration in marketing 

minor: korean language & literature 

clubs: got begged to join mathletes, but was like that’s in my past, finance club, and he’s a writing editor in the library for people in the korean language department 

sports: basketball team 

really smart, really talented, really funny but,,,,,,,bad at reading people and situations

like there’s a time and place to be aloof and non-responsive, but not in the middle of a conversation 

people assume he does it because he’s “cool”, looking out the window during study hall 

or walking with the most apathetic face into class 30 minutes late

but truth is - youngk’s probably thinking about lunch - like what to eat or what he already ate

smiles to himself sometimes and sungjin is like it’s nice to see you thinking of good memories!

and youngk’s head is just like: mmmm korean lunch special today in the canteen mmmmm

to be blunt, youngk has not real filter or need to impress, most people in college are trying to appeal to make more friends

but youngk is totally content with who he has around him,,,,,,and plus there’s nothing wrong with being a private person

when jae goes around randomly introducing himself to people at clubs, or wonpil just lets people he’s known for 5 seconds kiss his cheek,,,,,,,,

youngk just doesn’t get it - him and sungjin are just looking at each other at the other three members of their group in disbelief 

well sungjin in disbelief,,,,,,youngk is probably making a judging joke internally (or out loud if he’s had enough to drink)

his roommate is jae and,,,,,,youngk doesn’t know how he gets any sleep at night

because jae is either practicing at odd hours of the night, asking him questions about memes, or on the phone with someone youngk doesn’t even know

it’s a nightmare - but also ,,,, they’re best friends so youngk lives with it

because even though jae might not catch him in a trust fall,,,,he’s there when youngk needs him most

youngk put a sticker that says ‘don’t touch’ on his bass in the dorm and jae is always like “i could touch it when you’re gone dofus.”

but youngk’s like “you won’t.”

and,,,,,,,for some reason jae doesn’t dare. he thinks youngk put a hex on it.

he lets his bangs grow out, at one point he had hair long enough to pull back into a ponytail

he was gonna keep it till jae said it reminded him on the vocalist for nickelback and youngk was like,,,,,,,,,it has to go. now. dowoon get the scissors. 

he’s popular with the campus body, especially freshman who think he’s super hot and literally fight each other to get into the venues night6 plays just to take pics of him

jae pretends to be annoyed by it (well,,,he might actually be) but sungjin is just like youngk. date someone. please. 

jamie on the other hand is like YOUNGK THIS IS GREAT PUBLICITY. do you think you could take your shirt off for the likes on instagram???

it’s always wild at their shows,,,,,,

but no matter how late youngk stay up with his friends or bandmates, or how many basketball games he has this week, or if he has to help a drunk wonpil off the roof of the theater building

he is super committed to schoolwork - because even if people think he’s level-headed and got everything figured out

youngk can be a mess too,,,,,,,,,,

and he tries to avoid that at all costs. so graduating with a high GPA is a lot to him 

so much so, that they day you meet him you’re surprised to not see the stoic youngk everyone is always gossiping about

with his long legs leaning against the wall, drinking coffee and not batting an eyelash toward the giggling underclassman that eyeball him from a couple feet away

nope, you see a nervous wreck in a suit

fidgting with the tie around his neck, mumbling to himself and building up a thick sweat on his forehead

for a second you just raise an eyebrow and pass by in the hall, but you notice that no matter how hard he tries

he can’t,,,,,,,,tie the damn tie

and so with a sigh, you walk over and you’re like “dude, you’ve got it ALL wrong.”

he stops, looking at you funny until you push his hands away

“ive done this before. it’s super easy.”

with a precision you learned at some young age, you get the tie to knot perfectly

grinning to yourself you pat it down and flash the guy a smile

he stares at you, dark eyebrows furrowed

“hey- you could at least thank me-”

he huffs “do you usually touch strangers?”

“you’re in college and you don’t know how to tie a tie,,,,,,,,are you really trying to get sassy with me?”

the guy seems to back down a bit at that one, shrugging his shoulders

“fine, thank you. i guess i should learn it by now but it’s so hard,,,,,,,knots make no sense.”

“you know how to tie your shoes though, right?”

“ok. now YOU’RE the one pushing it.”

you both stare at one and another before breaking into laughter

“are you a business major?” you ask, suddenly curious why he’s all fancy in the hallway

“yeah, it’s presentation day and my teacher has a stick up his ass about dressing the part.”

he pretends to gag as he says this and you stifle another giggle

“well, good luck um -”

“youngk.”

“good luck youngk.”

you grin, and wave as you set back on your journey to the library

youngk watches you, suddenly in a better mood than before. until of course,,,,half his group shows up unprepared and he’s reverted back into a nervous wreck LOL

of course,,,,jae nearly dies when you tell him the story about the guy named youngk in the hall who didn’t know how to tie a tie

you wonder why it makes him laugh so hard and jae tells you that it’s nothing,,,,,,,but he needs you to come with him after class

so, you find yourself being dragged somewhere

and that’s how you meet youngk - again

“i heard they dissed you and said you couldn’t tie shoelaces - bro that’s a GOOD ONE”

jae starts cackling again, slapping his knee as wonpil gives him a curious look

youngk’s eyes waver on you and he’s like “you told him???”

and you’re like “i didn’t know he knew you??? we have on class together???”

and even though youngk’s lack of tying knots is the butt end of jae’s jokes for a week,,,this faithful meeting brings you into the group of friends easily

because one) jae thinks you’re the funniest person now and two) youngk kinda likes meeting people who aren’t immediately either scared of him or trying to get his number 

wonpil, sungjin, and dowoon take a liking to you too - mostly piggybacking off of jae’s praise of your humor and youngk’s good judgment

he may not be able to read situations and people, but youngk has a good taste in friends

it’s not long before you’re always at night6′s shows, you’re hanging out with the guys during breaks, and even doing tipsy karaoke in the college town bar

you just,,,get close to them but there is no denying that the closest you get to is youngk

and it’s all normal, fun and games

you get called over by youngk to his dorm because guess what - he’s got another business presentation and this time there’s a bowtie involved

“you could have just bought a clip on” you tell him over the phone, but you can physically hear him pout

and you’re already on your way to the dorm, teasing him continuously as he tells you that it’s not dumb that he can’t do it himself - ok he looked up wikihows and it just got so confusing

you show up, the room to the dorm is open and you can see jae’s side of the room all unkempt and covered in books

while youngk’s bed is made and his precious bass is on display beside it

“where is it?” you ask for the bowtie and youngk gestures to his dresser 

you walk over, but suddenly something makes the smile on your face wavier 

on the dresser is a bottle of opened lipstick, a pair of pretty golden earrings and keys that have charms on it that you know are not youngk’s

you don’t say anything, just grab the bowtie and walk back over to him

“c’mon - lean down”

he moves so you can better get to his neck and suddenly being this close to him

makes your head spin

you shake it off, concentrating your hands on the bowtie 

when you see it

a vivid, greedy red mark right above the collar of his white shirt

the bowtie will cover it, you’re sure of that but for some reason you feel uncomfortable for looking

for some odd reason, it’s like the hickie is staring at you

you swallow, and try not to think about it

i mean, you’ve never,,,,,,worried about youngk’s romantic life

and you’re sure he hasn’t even cared for yours

but then why is it,,,,like a prickling fear is creeping up through your veins?

“is it almost done?” youngk asks, suddenly his dark eyes look so beautiful to you

like onyx stones ,,,, and the lack of light in the room makes everything a little more close,,,,,intimate

your hands drop from the finished bowtie and youngk grins, rushing over to the mirror to check it out

he turns to you, thanking you and grabbing his briefcase from the leg of his bed

“i gotta go meet up with my group, but thanks again.”

he’s gone before you can even answer and you must have been stuck in that spot for some time because jae shows up a short while later

adjusting his glasses and asking you why in the world you’re standing in his room like an idiot

you flick your eyes one last time to the dresser

but jae doesn’t say anything 

“i,,,,,was helping youngk. i,,,,,,have class im gonna go.”

jae flops down on his bed and shrugs 

with that you’re rushing out of the room and down the hall - your mind clouded with answers to “why were those things there?”

dowoon unknowingly answers that

when he texts in the groupchat that his hangover is still around and sungjin worriedly tells him to see the campus nurse

you ask curiously if they’d all went out and dowoon answers with ‘yeaaaah except wonpil was supposed to text you and then LOST his phone in the uber’

you stare at the text, fingers hovering over a reply

when suddenly jae adds ‘it was boring. the only person who got shitfaced was dowoon and the only person who got lucky was youngk. i had to spend the night with sungjin’

your phone slides from your hands onto your bed

the message alerts buzz again and again but you don’t even look at them,,,,,

something feels painful in the pit of your stomach - with the realization why those items were on youngk’s dresser comes another searing stab to the gut

and the worst thing is that ,,,, you don’t know why

you fall back against your pillow and try to clear your mind

you,,,,,have never thought of youngk in a romantic way - he was just your friend, just like jae was. just like sungjin was.

to be honest, some of the things he does you find,,,childish like when he hides his whole head under a table if he’s embarrassed

or how how he always manages to be asleep in YOUR favorite place in study hall

or how when he wakes up,,,hair messy and voice deeper than usual you can barely make out what he’s saying,,,,,,you suddenly sit back up in bed

his deep voice,,,,,,,is nice,,,,,,,it’s not childish

you stop yourself - “what are you saying? it’s youngk”

you mumble aloud and your roommate turns over in their bed

“what’s youngk? the love of your life?”

your face turns hot and you chuck your pillow at them “wh-what are you talking about?”

they shrugs, taking the pillow and propping it up under their head as they ignore your question

you sigh, lying on your back and staring at the ceiling

it’s,,,,,,,not like you’re suddenly smitten or anything. no, definitely not but now there’s just thoughts in your head you hadn’t had before

picking up your phone only makes it worse because you see youngk has responded to both your texts and the groupchat

you groan, turn your phone off and pull the blanket over your head

but,,,,,,the dream you have of kissing youngk that night doesn’t support your idea before,,,

someone just might be smitten

you’re in class when jamie excitedly alerts you to night6′s concert a couple days later

you contemplate making up an excuse to flake,,,, but you’re also like maybe this will give you a chance to go out and meet someone

their concerts are usually packed with undergrads looking for a good time 

so you show up that night, slightly more dressed up than usual and jamie picks up on it like no other

“ohoho, looking for someone cute tonight?” she cooes and your crinkle your nose

“i don’t know, probably not but,,,,,,it’s been a while so”

you run a hand through your hair and feel your fingers shake a little with the anxiety of jamie catching you

if anyone - she’s the person who’d figure out you were now harboring a crush on youngk

and speak of the devil, just as she opens her mouth to say something else, all five of the members pile in

youngk looks ,,,,,, nothing short of handsome in ripped jeans and his black hair slicked back 

he’s wearing a plain shirt under a denim jacket that shows off the broadness of his shoulders

and for some reason your eyes are drawn to the angle of his jaw as he turns to tell wonpil something before greeting you

“i might stage dive today~” jae’s voice sounds optimistic and loud as it breaks you from looking over at youngk

“oh yeah? you might break your neck too.” jamie snorts and everyone gets a rise out of the image

suddenly, before you even notice it happening youngk is sliding in to stand beside you

it’s nothing new, nothing out of the ordinary, before you wouldn’t have thought twice about it

but now? it’s like your skin is on fire

every time the elbow of his jacket brushes against the fabric of your own shirt you feel a shock run through you

he’s close enough that you can smell the faint, familiar cologne he uses

and see the outline of the necklace he’s wearing under his shirt

it takes wonpil three times of saying your name to snag your attention and when he does everyone in the group is staring at you

youngk included

and it’s too much, you lose your train of thought and stutter out a basic answer for whatever wonpil asks

you excuse yourself, push past them and head up toward the bar to get a drink and sort out your emotions

what is happening to me? why can’t i calm down around him?

your head pounds, even before you get any alcohol in you and it’s almost saddening 

almost pathetic

“hey, you look like you’re in the dumps?”

the sound of an unfamiliar voice makes you cringe, but you turn to look at the poor soul whose decided they could /try/ to make a move on you,,,

surprisingly - he’s cute. much too on the thin side, but his eyes are a deep set brown and he looks less creepy than most of the people in this place right now

he slips into the seat beside you as you nod, just a little

“i feel it, but it’s like they say - when one door closes another door opens.”

you’re not even sure what that means, is youngk the door? is liking him the door? what’s the goddamn door? 

the guy laughs though and drinks some of whatevers in his glass

“yeah, but i think people tend to forget that the door that’s  closed is the door that holds what we really want.”

you swallow, eyes moving toward the stage where night6 is setting up. where youngk is adjusting the mic stand and laughing at jae

“exactly,,,” your voice quivers but you cover it up as you bring your own drink up to your lips

the first song they play, you’re sort of phasing in and out from answering the guy at the bar to stealing glances at youngk

by the fifth, you’ve had three drinks and you’re more into the conversation

half because the guys decent and half because you keep thinking about that lipstick and the earrings

and for some reason the thought of youngk being able to hookup fuels your own fire to find someone

even if it’s for a night, even if it’s totally not something you ever do, even if it’s this skinny guy at the bar

even if it’s not with youngk

as the set inches to a close, you hear jae do a stage dive and as everyone’s attention is gone

you lean over and kiss the random guy, whose name you learn in bambam

funny name, funny guy - whatever you guess you’re in this for the time being

but your mind isn’t meeting with your heart, because your chest feels tight and horrible for doing this

you feel his nervous hand on your waist and you want to back out of it, coil away from the touch

and it’s not his fault - he doesn’t know that inside you wish this was someone else

your eyes are closed so tight because you’re focusing so hard on telling yourself

those hands are youngk’s, those lips are youngk’s 

but they’re not. and when you’re out of the bar and he tries to kiss you again you push him weakly away

“im,,,,,,,,,,im sorry i can’t”

you mumble and you hear his hands drop to the side 

he doesn’t push you into it, but he does step closer to ask if you’re ok

when suddenly he’s being jerked back by the shoulder and youngk is standing in front of you

“just go.”

he commands in a tone you’ve never quite heard before from him

bambam stares at him, and youngk repeats himself - says something like “ill take care of them”

and then you feel him turning around, his eyes searing holes into you

“what are you doing? what were you thinking?”

you feel something like a fog in your mind from the drinks, something that gives you the power to glare back up at youngk

“what am i doing? im just trying to have a good time.”

“you’re not a one-night stand person”

you scoff 

“and you are? j-jae told me about you getting lucky and i saw the lipstick on your dresser.i saw the hickie. all of a sudden you’re allowed to hookup and i can’t?”

youngk winces, looking at you with a stoned expresson

“jae’s an idiot, the girl i took home is an old friend of mine. we caught up, she tried to do some stuff but i told her i wasnt feeling it and she did her makeup before going back out.”

you stumble as a little as you lean forward to poke youngk’s chest like some kind of child

“uhuh, what a likely story,,,,”

youngk takes a hold of your hand and pushes it away from him

you shiver in the night air, trying to seem pissed off when in reality the drinks and all of this just makes you tired

he shrugs off his jacket and drapes it around you, you open your mouth to protest - but youngk doesn’t let you

“let’s get you to the dorms.” he says, almost quietly

you want to argue more, you want to ask him who the hell he thinks he is, making decisions for you like the hotshit people on campus assume he is

but you don’t have the energy

and you pull his jacket tighter around you as you let him lead you back to campus

you wake up in youngk’s bed,,,,,,,,you pat yourself down and find that you’re fully clothed so you breathe a sigh of relief and then sit up only to feel your feet hit something on the floor

looking down you see youngk, spread out on some sheets, sleeping soundly with his knees slightly bent and his head on his arm

jae’s already gone for the morning and you yawn a little

there’s a small headache, but nothing you can’t cure with some food 

carefully, you try to slip past youngk and to the door - hoping you can make a clean getaway

but just as you reach for the knob -

“where do you think you’re going?”

the voice is deep, almost baritone and you gulp as you turn to face youngk

whose sitting up, staring at you with half-awake eyes

“breakfast,,,,,,,um,,,,,thanks for getting me home! i must have been such a mess last night, oops!”

you playfully slap the side of your head with your hand and try to laugh, but youngk isn’t buying it

he waits a bit and you sigh, shoulders drooping as you go over and sit on the bed as he faces you

“why were you trying to hookup with bambam last night?”

“bambam?”

“the biochem major at the bar.”

you stare at youngk and then shrug “i don’t know, ive been lonely,,,,”

he puts a hand on your knee to stop you, but it feels so much more than that

“no, tell me what’s really going on.”

you stare at his fingers there, and for some reason it’s like you’ve lost the ability to lie

it’s now or never and you clench your teeth because you feel like what you’re about to say is going to make you lose a good, dear friend

but you do it anway

“you want to know what’s really going on? well, one day i woke up and for some reason the first thing i thought of wasn’t ‘the suns blaring in my eyes’ or ‘i have a test today’ it was you. i thought about you.”

youngk’s eyes widen but he doesn’t move his hand, doesn’t say anything

“it was the day after i did that bow tie for you. id reached out for it and saw the lipstick and it hurt for some reason? i didn’t know why, but then the next morning - it was clear. crystal clear. everything i did that day, i kept thinking ‘i would rather be doing this with him’,,,,,i kept tripping and falling over them - those thoughts kept invading my brain.”

you take a breath and realize tears are prickling at the corners of your eyes

“one day ago i had seen you as my friend, and then it was like something snapped. and my heart was suddenly all in for you. all in love for you. and now,,,,,now i am one-hundred percent, purely in fucking love with you-”

youngk gets up, the warmth of his hand disappears from your knee and you’re sure your heart stops in your chest

when suddenly his lips are on yours and you’re falling with his weight ontop of yours against the sheets

the kiss is filled with urgency and something unleashed,,,something despearte

and some tears have escaped your eyes and stain your cheeks but youngk doesn’t seem to mind

he kisses you till your dizzy again

and when he pulls back, his face hovering over yours 

he whispers, “you think you have it bad? you said you’ve only been feeling that for a little while - ive been feeling that since we met.”

he kisses you again, more gently - more aware

“hey, you never said anything how was i supposed to know?”

you whimper, feeling his lips trail down to your neck

“well now you know, and now im going to show it.”

you and youngk manage to get breakfast a little while later, although some of the students are looking at his dishelved hair and your constant need to bring a hand up over your neck

but it’s whatever, because you guys sit next to each other and youngk steals food of your plate like he’s done a million times before

except now, you throw your legs over his lap and you keep feeling his hand try to sneak it’s way up your shirt

and you’re like youngk no not in public

and he’s like what? huh? im just drinking my coffee and being innocent idk what you mean

when jae comes back to the dorm to find you and youngk cuddling and youngk reading aloud some of his korean homework to you because you looooove the way his voice sounds in his language

he just grins and is like “WELL I knew this day would come and yall better be planning to name one of your kids after me”

youngk: “yeah, i wouldn’t do that for all the money in the world.”

you: “agreed”

jae: “WOW fake friends”

when you guys finally tell the group it’s so funny because you’re like “we’re together,,”

and sungjin and dowoon are like AWWW and wonpil is like “im glad you’re dating jae! i always knew you liked him!”

and you’re like wonpil,,,,,,,,im holding hands with youngk,,,,,,

and wonpil is like OH SORRY and jae is like “i know, they’re missing out by picking youngk over all this ~”

you about to say something about his skinny butt but keeping it to yourself

and even though you’re FINALLY dating - you guys still keep the sarcastic, jabby humor

like you’ll be trying to study and youngk will be pestering you for some attention and to take a nap together

and you’ll turn around and be like “im trying to graduate, if you haven’t noticed”

and he’s like “i have noticed,,,,noticed that your face looks better when it’s kissing my face and hey if you kiss me enough maybe my genius will rub off on you?”

ok but can you imagine you’re just,,,like,,,in a cafe somewhere, on a mini date and youngk is like talking to the barista about what you guys want

and you see him, with all his perfect facial features and smooth skin

and you just lean over when he’s done to kiss him and be like “you’re so handsome it’s almost most stupid”

youngk chuckling but also being like hEY my good looks aren’t stupid LOL

you kissing his face all over “stupid handsome forehead, stupid handsome cheekbones, stupid hanDSOME LIPS”

you go to night6 rehearsal and take pics of youngk and jae is like hey, take photos of the whole group or you will be kicked out of practice

and youngk is like if you kick the out, im going with them

and jae is like YOU WOULDNT DARE

and youngk just takes off his bass, walks over and lifts you over his shoulder and is like peace we’re gonna go makeout

dowoon: have fun!

jae: DOWOON SHUT UP

youngk getting flustered when you call him cute nicknames in public and you’re like why are you blushing i called you this last night- 

and sungjin is covering dowoon’s ears glaring at you like AHEM THEIR ARE CHILDREN

while youngk just melts into a puddle

i feel like he’d probably buy you guys couple rings or something,,,but then get too shy to give them to you

and you’d find them accidentally like on his desk and be like oooo~ and he’d be like “oh,,,i just,,,thought they were cute or whatever,,,,we can wear them if you want,,,cough,,,,pleasesayyouwanttowearthem,,,,”

it’s cute, you wear yours on your index finger and he wears his on his thumb

and like legit never takes it off,,,,,,,youngk is a committed man

everything is like ‘cool youngk’ is gone because now he’s just corny for you

you guys share drinks, share scarves in the cold, you literally are attached by the hip 

and everyone is like,,,,i thought he was nonchalant and self-centered but he’s literally the ‘i love my s/o’ meme isn’t he

youngk singing while he studies is one of the CUTEST things ever,,,you love it,,,

you still play pranks on him with jae though,,,like that time you drew hearts all over his face while he was sleeping

and put pink hairclips in his hair when he woke p

and he chases you around after, catching you and tickling you as revenge

the only person allowed to touch his bass is you

jae thinks s/o privilage is REAL and should be STOPPED

sometimes, at night6 shows, you’ll become easily distracted by this habit of his

which is he throws his head back while playing, and it shows off his gorgeous neck

and ,,,,, you’re just like,,,,in the crowd waiting for the show to end

so you can push him up against the wall outside the club or whatever and litter that pretty neck with kisses

isn’t like a candlelight and roses person, but more like a studio ghilbi and pop-rings person

you’re ideal date is chilling inside with your head on chest while he reads webtoons on his phone and complains about the plot

you love the feeling of his strong hands on your lower back, his tesing fingertips on the bits of your skin that your shirt doesn’t cover

and it’s like,,,youngk can be intense and needy

and can make your whole body shake 

but then,,,,in the morning,,,,he’s so slow and careful

and you barely move or make noises, it’s really just the aspect of closeness 

and youngk’s nose in your hair as he mumbles your name

and ,,,,,,, every kind of love - is a love you get to experience with him

he never learns how to tie a tie or anything

even though you’ve shown him limitless amounts of times

and when you ask him why can’t he just do it

he puts a hand on your cheek and lifts your face up

and he’s like 

“because i want an excuse to have you here, to have you so close”

and you blush but you’re also playfully shoving him like

“we’re dating, you don’t need an excuse. im yours.”

day6: jae  | wonpil  by group: bangtan | vixx | got7 | nct | kard | monsta x | seventeen gg specials: amber | momo | irene

[masterturner]

long drawn out personal post

this is a bit stream of consciousness, so if you’re reading this and trying to make sense of it, im sorry. its okay if youd rather not. its a lot and its emotional labour to even read it probably. it’s been almost a year since the breakup now. every day closer to the anniversary of it, i feel a little more broken. i’ve had two suicide attempts since then, a prolonged IOP thing, and i no longer see a therapist (though i really should start again). im not crying about borderline personality disorder though. this is all breakup shit. still.  im still holding together somehow. i dont really know how, some days. ive gone through the whole cycle of grieving multiple times now, cycling again and again through denial and bargaining and all that, ‘til i reach acceptance and think the hurricane is at its end. then i find i’m just in the eye of the storm, and it’ll soon pass as i get caught up in the winds again. then i do the whole cycle over and over again. thats what the therapists in the IOP said it was. a grieving process. you can grieve the terminus of a relationship the same way you grieve a dead person. it sounds so silly when i make that comparison. they also said that progress and healing are nonlinear and that it’s not really necessarily going to be as simple as passing through the grieving process a single time.  i said it sounds silly. its not silly though. its real, and i have to remind myself of that from time to time. i dont usually talk about anything personal on here, and its a little weird that im doing it now. but i guess im doing it because i dont know where else to do it. i could do it on facebook, but it feels attention-grabby, needy in a way i always feel weird being. doing it here under a little ‘read more’ thing feels less obtrusive and private, but not so private that im completely trapped in my own skull again. i hate feeling trapped in my own skull.  the anxiety bubbled up and got bad again pretty constantly. it got that way tonight. i felt my heart race while i tried to sleep. usually the worst points stemmed from me looking my ex up and seeing how their life was progressing along without me. unlike me, my ex has a drive and interest in the performance of social media that i generally lack. my social media experience begins and ends in shallow ways: i look at cute butts on tumblr, reblog dumb memes and get vague impressions of things going on in the world and such through the sometimes nonsensical things other people reblog. thats about it. my ex, though, shes the kind of person that does things like update her facebook profile picture at least once in a 6 month period, unlike yours truly.  i dont even follow her or have her friended anymore on facebook. heaven forbid i had an instagram to see what kind of stuff was going on there. it always got the worst when i saw her with her new SO. now i get to look at that every time i get the nerve to message her. its literally painful to even look to the extent i have to archive or delete every stray line of text we send to one another afterward.  i was seriously in denial - i talked myself into believing the SO wasnt an obstacle, wasnt a big deal, he was just a rebound and it didnt invalidate me. it didnt make me lesser, and it didnt mean that i was being replaced. after all, what stranger can replace 5 years of memories and experiences together? but i was a rebound too, and that led to a deep and intense relationship. why couldnt it this time too?  i was naive, i think. hopeful and naive, and i really wanted to believe this and that. ‘i know her’ i’d tell myself. ‘i know her, and i know she wouldn’t think this’ or ‘she wouldn’t do this’. but it’s wishful thinking.  maybe a part of me always did know better. maybe i stopped listening to that part of my own psyche because i started to recognize how harmful it was.  it’s kind of messed up how that works though? like... you can be happy with someone, but also be terrified of that day when they realize they can do better. and then it becomes a sort of twisted, fucked-up self-fulfilling prophecy because that thought sucks the life and passion out of you. it’s insidious and slow.  and it’s tempting to look at it like ‘i was right all along, everyone will leave me’, but that’s not really how it necessarily is. thats just the trauma talking, the fear, the part of my mind that’s lazy and resigned to suffering and collapse. it was that fear that made it real. maybe if i’d learned to manage that fear, though, things could have been different. would have been different.  it’s pointless to speculate on that though. the reason i say it isnt to speculate though, it’s because im trying to remind myself that it can apply to right now. the friendships and relationships i have now - few and far between as they may be, stretched thin as they may be, damaged and in dire need of repair as they may be - aren’t doomed to failure just because i’m afraid of loss and abandonment. the collapse doesnt have to be inevitable.  maybe talking like i’ve learned and figured something out from all this will make me feel better. maybe believing it all had a purpose will make it feel like it was worth it. eventually. right now, though, it doesnt.  i’m still so upset. i’m still miserable and i still long for things i can’t have. i miss affection. i miss being touched, even in a plain and nonsexual way. i miss being kissed and i miss being hugged. i miss being wanted, and every day i wonder if ill ever feel that again. and then i get to thinking, would it be enough to feel that from just anyone again? why do i feel so starved for... any kind of affection at all? why do i feel so desperate for something - anything like this? could anyone ever love me the way my ex did? i guess the cynical and plain answer to that is no, but thats okay. and maybe someone else can love me better. and maybe that desperate longing to be loved, cherished, cared about, touched, anything is just a symptom of an addiction that’s yet to pass. kind of a cold and clinical way to put it though, and i dont know if thats really me. yet i dont want someone else because its not enough to just have anyone. my ex left me, and now i still have that feeling of being invalidated, devalued, abandoned, and ultimately replaced. even if someone else came along and professed undying love for me, no matter how i welcomed it, that feeling of being tossed aside would remain. and i dont know how to come back from it.  i hate how much my mind... fixates on it. like... everything makes me think of it. i cant make a status on facebook without wondering if my ex will see it, what she might think. i cant leave my house and go somewhere without wondering, what if my ex sees me? what would she think of what im doing? would she approve, or be proud of me? would it impress her? or would it disappoint her? it saps the joy out of almost everything i do. i cant watch an old show without feeling bad im watching it without her. i cant help but wonder if she feels the same, or if shes gotten over it. and a part of me doesnt want to know the answer to that wonder. does she still listen to mili? coheed? does she listen to ‘old flames’ on repeat like i do? when ‘sweater weather’ comes on, does she think of me or someone else?  even now as i write this, i wonder if my ex still stops to peer at my dumb blog from time to time for a hint of how im doing and what im thinking. and i dont even know if id want to know, because seeing this message in that light casts a pall over it that makes me feel sick. i didnt want my ex to see how not okay i am. i didnt want her to see the part of me that feels so sick still. and i dont want to know that she doesn’t look at this either. so here i am at an impasse, writing words and tossing them into the void of the internet, hoping for and expecting only silence, while also hating and fearing the very same. id like to think that maybe this is a sign i dont care anymore, but i think i know better than to really believe that.  i force myself every day to just... not reach out. not say anything to her thats real or vulnerable - the few times ive talked to her it feels forced and fake. and it feels like ive cut off a limb, because im so used to leaning and relying on her. but i feel like i have to, because expecting that level of emotional labour from someone that has cut those ties with me seems silly and foolish... not to mention selfish.  why? maybe a part of me thinks that by hiding it, i’d win her back someday. or maybe im just afraid of being burdensome and difficult. or maybe i just... genuinely do want her to be happy without me. i wish it was that last one. i wish i could just back off and be happy that shes with someone else that maybe will treat her good in a way that i couldnt, or didnt.  i dont know what i want, though. i know what i dont want though. i know i hate feeling like this and i wish i could make it stop, but i cant. its not really getting easier. i had the borderline shit before this, and i could end up meeting the criteria my whole life for all i know. the breakup is just a massive complication in that whole mess, but i dont know if id even know what was wrong with me if i didnt have that relationship in the first place.  there was a day a few days ago, or maybe a week or two ago (i dont remember) where i wanted to hurt myself (not physically though for whatever reason), and in order to do it, i made myself do something i was starting to break the habit of doing. i browsed her facebook profile and scoured it for anything that’d make it sting again. i succeeded - it didnt take much. a few pictures, a relationship status change, that was pretty much it. my mind filled in the blanks after that because of course it did. it snowballed into full blown catastrophizing. they’re probably madly in love. they’re probably moving in together, if they havent’ already done so. they’re probably making plans to get married. they’re probably this and that and this and that - like it matters. like it affects me somehow.  but it doesnt. not really, not physically anyway. i dont have to look, and its like i hope not looking will make it hurt less. but not looking makes me hope, and hope has bred more hurt than anything else in the past year.  since i last looked her up in that fog of need to hurt myself emotionally, a lot of that dreadful hope i had that i could win her back drained away, and i want to believe that the pain will go away now. i havent talked to her since then. i still think about her. i still dream. i still fear and i still wonder and reflect. but i havent talked to her. is that good? is it bad? is it anything other than what it is? does it matter? maybe someday ill be over this. a part of me yearns for that. and a part of me is afraid to ever let go, because what if love wins in the end and all the time we had together meant something after all?  did it not mean anything if it didnt end up taking the shape i wanted it to take? no, it still meant something, but does that matter now?  i dont know. all i know is that to this day it hurts and... that’s all. thats all i know.  eleven months later and it still hurts. but i guess expecting it to be all better after 5 years of dating is a little unrealistic. i thought we were gonna be together forever. forever is a long time, though, i guess.  she makes it look easy, but maybe it isnt for her either, even if she’s better at making it look a certain way. i have no way of knowing and thats maddening in its own way. if i had the ability to close that distance... hear her out, be there for her, could i do it? could i get over my own fear and hurt to build a connection again? id love to find out. but i cant seem to get that far.  it doesnt matter though. its her life, and she has every right to move on without me. its easy to say ‘poor me’, but theres two sides to every story. a lot of pain that led up to the end. questions i still have that will never go answered, and closure i might not ever obtain.  ctrl+a, delete, backspace. that’s all it’ll take, tyler. then maybe you can sleep.  but no, instead you’re going to post this. for what? why? is it a cry for help? complaining for the sake of complaining?  i dont know. i cant leave it all in my own head though.  but the silence that i get back in response is liable to be deafening all the same  

[insarations]

these are actually hella fucking cute y’all

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? more cereal

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? oh yes :) but gotta  get me some hot chocolate or blanket

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? usually just a scrap of paper or whatevers close

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? i put soy milk and sugar in my coffee....just sugar in tea

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? ya :/ well at least if my mouth is open...I have terrible teeth

6: do you keep plants? no

7: do you name your plants? noo lol

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? painting/drawing/crafting..sometimes writing or poetry

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? very much

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? usually side, sometimes back

11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends? too many to name

12: what's your favorite planet? hmm...never thought about it strangely. saturn for looks. but mars cause idk..it holds the most possibility

13: what's something that made you smile today? my cats

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? uhhh....idk

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! A day on Venus is actually longer than a year on Venus... wrap your head around that ;)

16: what's your favorite pasta dish? ooooh all of them lol but probably lasagna... ooh or alfredo

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? just darker...dark brown or black

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up when i made us play hide n seek in a hotel room and i hid behind a curtain. or when i peed on my friends foot cause she got stung by a jellyfish XD

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? I used to :/ I dont' really anymore..probably should

20: what's your favorite eye color? um idk really it depends on the person..I usually like brown or blue. not that green isn't nice but again depends on the person lol

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. ugh I really don't use bags or purses or anything like that much. currently my black vans drawstring

22: are you a morning person? nah, never will be. i'm used to getting up early but still hate it

23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? SLEEP

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? yes..a few people

25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into? umm i dont think ive broken into anywhere

26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit? i got rid of all my own shoes but the ones ive had a while i wear the most are my black slipon vans

27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor? mint

28: sunrise or sunset? sunset

29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? only she could do it, cant even explain lol

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? more than a few times

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. I LOVE SOCKS lol absolutely not all white socks. I like fun patterned socks..especially my vans no shows... sometimes sleep with them on

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. oh gosh dont let me start

33: what's your fave pastry? uggghh too many. recently something amazing I tried... lobster tails from carlos bakery. but really..any pastry lol

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? lots of them. the main one I can think of is a small little grungy horse named Wickee lol...got him at this amusement park called Wickee Watchee... idk where he is atm :/

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? ooooooh yesssss...from time to time

36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now? 21 pilots

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? I mean I like it clean.... but it's messy most the time anyways lol

38: tell us about your pet peeves! ugh so many. the #1 thing probably is when I'm walking like in a store and someone just stops right in front of me..like i'm tryna get somewhere please move haha but otherwise I just had selfish spoiled people and attitudes and people who think they're better than everyone else

39: what color do you wear the most? black and gray

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you? um honestly I don't have any jewelry besides my liprings. There is this necklace that was my grandmas but I don't really wear it anymore

41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving? It's called Pawn by Robin Roseau

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! Starbucks. it's amazing. it's life. that is all.

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? this girl

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? um hmm on and off lately and I think i'm getting there again...but probably really completely like...last spring

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? as much and often as I can

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. oh you don't want me to do that

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? donald trump. oh food. hahahahah omg. i thought it said thing. hahahaha. i cant even answer now.

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? roaches. yes still same. I HATE THEM

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? eh neither like or dislike..rarely ever buy cds never records. But I did recently buy the Gwen Stefani Christmas album ;)

50: what's an odd thing you collect? nothing really odd. oh well.... unique boxes. I guess thats strange lol

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? so many songs.

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? uh hmm.. probably the spongebob mocking one lol

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? honestly..dont kill me...no

54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? myself XD

55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point? gotten out of the car and walked a mile home XD

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? just being genuine and truthful and sweet and trying to be funny even if you're not really

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? BEAUTIFUL. I didnt actually listen but I did in my head. BEAUTIFUL SONG

58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? uhhhh..... dont really have a group of friends XD

59: what's your favorite myth? hmm too much thinking

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? depends, most the time...the Footprints poem

61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received? given um...idk I used to get a buncha stuff from the dollar store for my fam every year lol received? a rock from my ex bf -_-

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? nah not really a juice person

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? yes organized

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? black

65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with? yesss....

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? uhhh eh..not for me

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? either calm or sad or sleepy or a combo

68: what's winter like where you live? it's florida. not usually cold. this week is as cold as it gets...low is like 38 but usually it doesnt even get there

69: what are your favorite board games? clue, monopoly is alright too

70: have you ever used a ouija board? no

71: what's your favorite kind of tea? not huge on tea but I like mint, or something fruity like berry or lemon or peach

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it? with certain things

73: what are some of your worst habits? leaving drinks or bottles half finished out or like letting my room get messy

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. funny. sarcastic. sometimes an asshole. good time. gorgeous. fun.

75: tell us about your pets! They're two cats, sister, Lamb and Rue...they're 2 and 1/2 years old..and sweet and mischevious and fluffy and soft and cuteeee  and I love them more than anything

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't? not really

77: pink or yellow lemonade? dont really like lemonade much but they dont make much a difference to me

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? fanclub :)

79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? wrote a song for me

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? white..nah I didnt choose

81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. honestly my minds going black lol im tired

82: are/were you good in school? yes for the most part..had my moments but overall good

83: what's some of your favorite album art? so many I could name. coldplays is always really colorful and abstracty. and imagine dragons.

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? already have two. want a lot more..too much to name and i dont even know still what all i want

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? nah

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? YAS. many. but first came to mind, Skillets Rise

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? Silver Linings Playbook. Paper Towns. Shrek. All the disney movies. Avatar. Wizard of Oz. many more

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? all of them haha... pop art, impressionism, renaissance..just all of it all special in they're own way

89: are you close to your parents? eh idk i cant explain..neither close nor distant. like we live together and talk alot but not really the close relationship as some do..im very different from them

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. Knoxville. the city I went to college in... interesting place with lots to do..best of both worlds. beautiful mountains and hills and views. but also the downtown areas are cool..lots of fun stuff

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? going to savannah ga for my bday. not sure where else yet but i'm sure there will be other places. i'd really like to go to phoenix..boston..new orleans..california..portland ugh so many places

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? CHEESE AF

93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most? just up in a bun which is boring but its too messy and long to put up with lol

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? my dad

95: what are your plans for this weekend? nothing really so far. probably will go to lunch or something with my friend

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? procrastinate

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? myer briggs- INFJ (advocate) sign- aquarius house- ravenclaw

98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? legitimately...like 3 years ago...hated it...too much walking and pain XD

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. ugh sooooooooooo many. pretty much any song by skillet or gwen stefani/no doubt recently..dusk till dawn by sia, new rules by dua lipa... also songs by ben howard..lots of indie stuff

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? 5 into the future... i've already lived my past, and i've made a lot of progress...wanna jump to even more progress hopefully

[stephicness]

Damage -- FFXV Boys vs Suicide

Not sure how to title this one. D: But I hope you’re okay, @yoitssabrinee! I wish I got these done sooner, but work stiiiiiinks. That, and my internet didn’t allow me to do research at home for sometime. lseklres Excuses excuses!

But I hope you’re okay. Sometimes it can rough trying to make it one day at a time. But you’re doing well as it is, since you made it this far! One good thing little by little will help may things a little brighter, so just keep on doing your best, because you’re doing great, okay? C: I’m here with angsty writings and memes just in case too~

For now, I hope this is okay! I skilled Cor and Ravus for this since I was encroaching on almost 4000 words on these headcanons/fics. D: Perhaps another time! But for now, I hope you enjoy the angst stuff to help cope with angst!

WARNINGS: Suicide Attempts, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Negative Thoughts, Blood -- Be careful when reading below!

Noctis Lucis Caelum

Noctis was never a stranger to the feeling of loneliness and depression. Growing up with a sensation of loneliness and emptiness was something he gradually had to learn to cope with during his time growing up as the crowned prince of Lucis. After all, why do you think he spends so much time napping? He probably understands where you’re coming from when you say that it’s sometimes hard to just get out of bed sometimes. Mostly because he sometimes finds himself with those thoughts too. The idea of staying in bed and wasting away with worry or motivation was always a tempting idea, and you two often bonded over what you thought it would be like to ‘just sleep and never wake up.’

You two were never short of depressing subject matter to talk about. Well, others would find it depressing at least – especially Ignis, whom would often walk in as you suddenly murmur, ‘I just wanna fucking kill myself sometimes…’ Noctis would reply with a simple ‘Same,’ and Ignis would slowly exit the room.

But even with you two having your cynical sense of humor sometimes, he began to worry about you when you spent your days becoming increasingly less active or motivated, never smiling like you used to and never really showing much enthusiasm in anything. The witty dark humor was only met with silence, and Noctis found that perhaps there was something really bothering you.

To be honest, there never really seemed to be a reason for why you were so quiet of recent. You never really understood it yourself but nothing was wrong in your life, things seemed tolerable for the most part. And yet, the world just never really seemed that bright anymore. Whatever light you saw before was just gray. Bland. Perhaps it was even selfish, you thought, as you pondered on if the world would be a better place without you – especially with how distant from it you already were. But you were still there though, right? You weren’t just a waste of space?

And to be honest, it frightened you just how passive you were to your own existence. Like, would someone miss you if you were gone? You know you wouldn’t. But would someone at all? You grew more and more bothered by these thoughts of your own personal existentialism, until you finally had the courage to speak to someone whom you knew would understand you regarding your chaotic thoughts.

“You ever wonder what it’d be like if you just didn’t exist anymore?” The prince seemed to look at you as if you had said something odd, for the look on his face showed bewilderment and surprise. “Like, we’re here on the balcony. Just one hop and whoo! Ignis doesn’t have to make pancakes, I guess.” You gave a grim chuckle as you rested your head down against your arms, staring out at the vista. “You think the world would miss me if I was gone…?”

Noctis grew quiet, watching you carefully before he nodded. “I know I’d miss you.”

“Of course, you would, Noct. Obligatory friend reassurances and all~” You assumed he was saying that just because he was obligated to as your friend. But when you turned towards him to joke about it in your usual cynical tone, your smile faded when he returned a stern look towards you.

“I’d miss you. Every single day. You have a reason for existing, I think. You may not know why you do exist, and someone else probably can’t tell you why either… But I guess if you really want to know, then you should try to take it one day at a time to see. I mean… You’re not a waste of space, or just there to be there. You definitely aren’t. You’re great, you’re you, and you’re my friend. If you were gone and something happened to you, I…” He had to trail off, his voice a little strained as the thought haunted his mind and his knuckles turned white from how hard he gripped the railing. “I don’t know what I would do.”

You seemed almost heartbroken to hear such a strong response from the prince, saddened to have caused him such worry with what you thought was an innocent question. But soon, his gaze softened as he reached out to wrap his arms around you and pull you into an awkward yet comforting side-hug.

“I’m not sure if it means that much, but if you’re ever lonely or feeling sad, then just call me, and we can be lonely together, alright?”

You gave a small nod, feeling your eyes sting as they began to tear-up while your arms secured themselves around the prince.

 Prompto Argentum

“Room 321, where is it?!”

He was out of breath by the time he got to the front desk, pushing past the crowd of people in the ER to ask- No, demand where the room was. The nurse noticed the urgency, but seemed to only take her sweet time in checking the map before she pointed him down to the west wing, third floor and four doors after the first left. He would have been in a full-sprint if he wasn’t trying to be polite to the nursing staff trying to make it by to their intended locations, but he was hardly slacking off either as he quickly approached the silver door and quickly pushed the door open.

There you were. Well, barely it seemed. Dazed and confused by the light that shined at your face, you had to bring your hand up to block out the light, finding yourself tangled up in the IV that was injected into your forearm. Your eyes squinted at the brightness before the door shut behind the blond-haired boy. Ah… That was better.

“Hey, Prom. What brings you-“ You found yourself cut-off as arms threw themselves around you, nearly crushing you in such a powerful embrace that you had to grunt and pat your hand quickly on the boy’s bicep. “Hey! Let go! I’m fragile!”

“How can you be joking when you’re in the hospital?!” You winced at such a tone from the famed sunshine boy, heart sinking to the pit of your stomach as you noticed how tired his face was, how exhausted he looked – as if his worry had aged him ten years. He quickly reached out, gripping onto your hands as he brought them up to his forehead. It was as if he was begging – praying to the Astrals for your safety. “I ran all this way when I heard you were in the hospital. What the hell happened?!”

You felt your stomach twist, a pain willing up in you that forced you to hold onto your stomach while fingers gripped at the bedsheets over you. It was kind of hazy, to be honest, and you told him what you knew. You remembered coming home, work full of stress and chaos to where you were left in tears. You felt like everything was crashing around you, the world coming to an end. Heart racing, it being hard to breathe – until you just wanted the noise to stop. You had grabbed your anxiety medication on moment, and then the next, you found yourself surrounded by fluorescent white with doctors saying something about… A pump.

You felt your chest tighten, a sensation so painful that you had to grit your teeth from the feeling as you hunched forward. “Today was just such an awful day. And my anxiety was crazy, and I thought that if I took more, it’d go away, but I just-! Gods, Prom… I’m so sorry…”

The blond-haired boy was heartbroken not by what had happened, but more rather that he had to witness your tears like this. He knew you had bad anxiety and sometimes got overwhelmed easily, but you always tried to smile and be happy. So, seeing you like this now, in tears and shaking… Instinct kicked in as he reached forward and pulled you into his arms again, making sure not to let go as you wept into his shoulder and hugged him as tight as you could.

“It’s okay. I got ya. I’m just glad you’re okay.”

“I-I nearly overdosed though, Prom!” You could feel your grip weaken as you felt your fingers turn numb – or perhaps a sensation that was so painful that you felt paralyzed with the feeling. You had to let go of him as you reached up, pushing the palms of your hands against your eyes. You shook your head as your breath shook just as much as your body did. “I-I didn’t mean to, but it’s just that I… I felt like I couldn’t breathe, and I-I just couldn’t handle it all. I thought I could, but I just couldn’t, and I-“

“Hey. It’s okay.” He carefully placed his hands over yours, not trying to grab onto them like you had thought he would, but merely keeping them with yours to comfort you in the slightest of ways. His touch would be there with you, even if you couldn’t see him. The quiet that fell over him made you suddenly want to scream to break the silence, but he beat you to it with a short and simple comment. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. Do you want to talk about... How about those characters you were working on before? I saw your Jojo parody, so I’ve been dying to know!” He paused. “Oh, crap. W-Wrong wording!”

You were almost in disbelief about how suddenly enthusiastic he was being, but you understood what he was doing. You were already so upset about what was going on that he just wanted to pull your mind from it all to lighten up the situation. You may not have wanted to talk about the characters you’ve been drawing, but still... The thought was enough to cause a small smile to crack through your broken expression. “I... It’s okay, Prom. I can tell you about them again.” You hesitated a small moment before you leaned forward and placed a small kiss against his temple. “Thanks, Prom...”

He smiled and returned the kiss to your forehead.

 Ignis Scientia

It was a strange instance, he had thought. Usually he was used to seeing you sitting about in the living room of the apartment, reading a book, drawing, or doing something of the like by the time he got home from his duties to the royal family. To see you not in your usual place after the quite common and almost systematic routine that you two shared was quite odd for certain.

He set aside his keys and slipped off his shoes as per usual, going to the kitchen to set down the bag of groceries that he hoped to use for dinner. But still, no sign of you at all. His eyes narrowed suspiciously before he went down the hallway towards the bedroom. Perhaps you were asleep? No. The sound of rushing sink water seemed to show him otherwise. He gave a small nod, turning to leave before he noticed a sniffle come from you. He listened more carefully. The faint sound of sobbing coming from that was a noise that only alerted Ignis to where he quickly pushed through the room to go to your side.

And the sight itself was something he had hoped not to see. Crimson was everywhere, blood across the white countertops as you hunched over the sink. You scrubbed, washing away whatever was left over your wrists with your hand clenching the wound there to stop the bleeding. But dammit, it wouldn’t stop! It stung. It hurt. But it kept bleeding and bleeding until the water only looked redder and redder with each passing minute as you murmured to yourself over and over ‘No, no no! Stop it…! Just stop already!’

You yelped in surprise, jolting at the hot water’s sting when you pulled your hand away from the gash over your wrist. You looked at Ignis, blood dripping from your hand and wrist, eyes widened and burning from the residual sting from your breakdown earlier. You tried to fight it off, the thoughts that overwhelmed your mind, but it just seemed like too much. The world was against you, your own mind against you, uninspired, unmotivated, unfeeling. You thought that maybe just a little bit would help. Help do something. Anything. But you only felt afraid, scared that you felt that way. And there was so much blood. I thought you were going to die. You didn’t want to do that! But it was just so much and the injury was so deep-

And none of what you wanted to say to Ignis could escape from you. You could only stare, tears welling in your eyes as you latched onto your arm again in hopes that maybe he would just turn and walk away from seeing you in such a state.

But no. He quickly rushed towards you, taking your wrist and raising it to a level above your heart. He didn’t say a word to you, only making the air tenser as he held onto your injured wrist and reached quickly through the medicine cabinet for a potion, gauze, and bandages. You noticed how he was barely able to secure his hold on each product, dropping them onto the counter away from the blood with his hand fastened around the potion. You were shaken, but you noticed the small shaking in his hand as well. Eyes looked up, finally able to meet Ignis’s gaze and seeing the gentle and worried expression over his face that made your heart race.

“This may sting. Please bear with it.”

You gave a small nod in response, teeth gritting tight as he poured the potion over your arm. Gods, did it sting. He wasn’t kidding. But once it was applied and the burning began to fade, the injury already looked a lot less severe than before. The only thing left was the deep scars over your wrist that the two of you stared at.

“Are you alright…?” You still couldn’t muster up the words in response to Ignis. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t figure out way to say. What happened. Why you did what you did. Because you just couldn’t find the courage to tell him what was going through your mind. Ignis gently reached out, trying not to get the remains of your blood on your face as he stroked your cheek with the back of his hand. If you hadn’t felt weak before, his touch alone was nearly enough to make you collapse. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here sooner…”

Your eyes wandered towards the ground as you leaned against him, his arms instinctively wrapping around you as you clenched your eyes shut and shook. “It’s okay… You got here just in time.”

 Gladiolus Amicitia

“Get down from there right now!”

The wind that drifted past your ears was deafening to the shouting behind you, the lights of the cityscape blinding. It felt surreal – as if you were standing on top of the world, looking down at the people below you like a god marveling from the Astral Realm above. Like a child gazing down at the insects beneath their feet. So high up. And even higher as you stood on top of the building’s edge, fists clenched, body trembling from the autumnal air that only grew colder at night continued to fall deeper to the darkness.

It was a different world up here. A beautiful sight before you would take that leap of faith – a leap to the afterlife.

“Whatever you’re thinking of doing, don’t think about it!”

“Hard to do, you know, when that’s all you can ever think about.” You let out a heavy sigh. At this rate, your muscles might just lock up from the cold, but you tried to turn around. Amber eyes watched you with urgency, locked in his place, too scared to approach you in fear that it would only prompt you to jump sooner. You can see that he was frightened, but what did it matter? You made your decision, tried to make your peace. You were ready to go. “Gladio, I’m sorry, but… I just can’t do this anymore. I’m so tired that I just…” You hung your gaze and clenched your eyes shut. “I’m just so sick of living right now!”

“What are you even saying?” He gritted his teeth at your words, slowly taking a step closer to you. When you retreated closer to the edge, he stopped. “I know how tired of everything you’ve been lately, but-“

“Don’t ‘but’ me!” You screamed back. “You don’t know anything about me, Gladio! You don’t know how I feel. How lonely it’s been. How hard it is to function even! It’s so hard, Gladio. It’s so hard to wake up in the morning knowing that no matter what you do, how happy you try to act, or how hard you try to keep everyone from worrying about you – it’s so hard that maybe things will be better if I just don’t anymore.” You could feel the tears stinging your eyes, rolling down your face and hazing your vision to where lights turned to diamonds in your gaze. You reached up, pressing your sleeves into your eyes as you forced yourself to put on your strong façade once again. Strange… Even when you felt so vulnerable, you still tried to act tough in front of Gladiolus. “I give up, Glads… It’s hard to want to find a reason to stay when all life is just makes you want to leave even more.”

The escaping the silence alone was something that almost made you want to jump even more. But Gladiolus’s voice returned the ease to you. Even if he was angry, just hearing something other than your own thoughts was almost relieving.

Even if the words got stuck in his throat too.

“I don’t know… Yeah, I really don’t.” Gladiolus clenched his fist tight, enough for the definition in his muscles to show more from how intense his grip was. “I can’t relate to you because I don’t know how hard it is. I don’t know what it’s like to feel lonely. I don’t know how hard it is to act, or to wake up, or to make it by day-by-day. I don’t know because I have a reason to stay here.”

The words themselves were something that made you roll your eyes and turn away to step off the edge, but a hand shot up and catch onto your wrist. You turned around, hand raising up to smack the man away. And yet, it lowered itself as amber eyes watched you with a look of melancholy and sorrow.

“I have you. Bag on me all you want for sounding dumb, but it’s true. I get to wake up and go see you. I laugh at how great you are – even if your puns aren’t. I go through the day wondering if you’re okay, and the best part is going to bed knowing that tomorrow you’re going to be there to make the day better. Day-by-day, I can move on with you here helping make things better.

“But if you jump – if you give up now – then what do you think it’ll be like? The Astrals don’t forgive a person who gives up. The people you leave behind will remember you, but not the way you want them to. All they’ll remember is just how broken you were and how weak you were to give up on life.”

“I am not weak!” You shouted in response. You wanted to tear your hand free of him, but his grip adjusted itself to a firmer hold, other hand reaching out and grabbing your other to keep you there. “It-It takes a lot of courage to want to die, because do you know how scary it is to feel like dying and feel like the whole world is just there to make your life hell?!”

“If it’s scary, then let me help make it less scary for you!” You looked up at Gladiolus and his gaze. “I’m not going to let you be afraid ever again, okay? I’m not going to let you be alone, because I want to help give you a reason to keep going. I promise I’m not going to give up on you, got it?” His tone and expression calmed down a bit as yours began to soften at such an expression on his face – like a fire of determination burned through him and melted into your core as tears began to flow even more so than before. “Even if you feel like the world’s given up on you… Don’t give up on me trying to help you, promise?”

You gave a slow nod, head dropping again as you squeezed his hands in return and stepped down from the ledge. “I promise… As long as you keep your promise too.”