#i reaaaaaaally need sleep

[gallifreyanhotfive]

AU where the Seventh Doctor is played by Timothee Chalamet and people ask "is that Sylvester McCoy?"

[rogerzsteven]

i really reaaaaaaally need to go to sleep if don't want to be a zombie tomorrow

[flanklurker]

Valorant Protocol Roommate Headcanons

No-one fucken asked but I delivered. Cypher, Omen and Skye cause I love them, more coming probably. gn reader

Cypher

Tbh, something has to have gone very wrong for Cypher to have a roommate. Expect the first few weeks for him to be actively trying to drive you out.

Obnoxious tool noises, dark muttering and whirring at all hours, stink eyes across the room on the rare occasion he makes eye contact, you name it.

But what Brim says goes.

If by some miracle you’re on good terms to start with, you’re probably already familiar with some of his idiosyncrasies.

Once the initial shock has gone, Cypher is the kind of roommate that really depends on your lifestyle. He’s not one to have parties all the time, but you will have to be able to deal with lights and fidgeting into the small hours of the morning.

Would highly recommend learning Arabic, if only to enjoy the creativity of his cussing. “I hope you wake up before your alarm and all your toenails have been replaced with dollar store gemstones.” That shit hits different at 3am

Do not expect to see any of his work. You get the sense that the general vicinity is boobytrapped to the point of overkill

Any portraits you manage to glimpse are probably no longer a threat to the Protocol…

Sinister as Cypher can be, you can always rely on a poorly-timed quip to make you spit your drink

Memorise his coffee (milk and 1 according to fanon), and you are instantly bumped to the bottom of the ‘would kill if he had to’ list

You are also the first to know ALL the best gossip. Like, you know who’s got a thing for who before they do.

You catch a glimpse of him just once without the mask. Disarmingly handsome, with kind eyes that crinkle up at the corners. Maybe just maybe it wasn’t unintentional that you were shown something

Overall 9/10, very polite, know you would never be attacked in the dead of night unless you’d done something reaaaaaaally bad to piss your roommate off.

Omen

“I don’t need a room. Or a mate”

However bad Cypher is, this guy is worse. Luckily, he’s more of the type to ghost you than get you to leave. First couple of weeks, you don’t see this ghostly man AT ALL

Weirdly, the room has occasional signs of life, like folded laundry and bandages, and if you’re particularly observant, you might notice that the bed made slightly differently every morning

Eventually, you find his lurk on the roof. “Omen you have to stop doing this, I promise I won’t bite, and it can’t be comfortable spending all your time up here.

He disappears, but the next day you find him spending a little bit more time in the room.

Give it a couple of months, and the Renaissance of Omen is upon you. Expect baked goods, fresh flowers arranged on the table, freshly pressed linen and most importantly, the most elegant knitted scarves and blankets. Even for someone that physically doesn’t sleep, Omen is PROLIFIC man

Omen takes curating his space as a way of keeping him grounded. He moves noiselessly and doesn’t disturb the world around him, content to watch, and arrange, and chip away at his projects

How do you feel about cat hair?

“Omen, we can’t keep her. Phoenix is allergic” “Even better, he won’t snoop.” “Omen, we’re hardened killers-” “So is she.” “Where would we even… oh, you’ve already knitted her a bed” “Her name is Pyjama.” “Like, singular?” “Yes.”

It’s honestly like a wild sparrow landing on you the first time it happens—you have to hold your breath when you see Omen curled up on your shared couch, cat on lap gently batting the yarn as he knits a pastel blue beanie.

Legit? 11/10 roommate he’s a really pleasant ghostly man to be around, and you can sleep well knowing he’d never let anyone get close.

Skye

Speaking as an Aussie, fucken excellent. Like, god tier roommate

Day one, you know she’s a good find when she helps you move all your furniture.

“Mate, I can whack together a flatpack or two in no time, no wuckers.”

Three things guaranteed: -> A climber’s pull-up rig on the door -> The smell of eucalyptus and teatree and sweat, but not like unpleasant sweat -> Spiders

I hope you don’t mind spiders. “Mate, they’re just fucken daddy longlegs yeah? Harmless lil buggers, AND they keep the mosquitoes out. Pick one.”

Skye gets up EARLY for her runs. If you’re not careful, you’ll be roped in too. Don’t believe her when she says 20 minutes, she’s talking 20 minutes from when you reach the edge of known civilisation and not accounting for when you get lost bush-bashing

Gives good advice and is a great person to vent to. Always in your corner

Always signing up for those month fitness challenges. She’ll whack a yoga mat down and go into a plank while you’re on a briefing call, sweaty breathing and everything

Skye makes a MEAN plant-based steak burger. Like, whatever dark secrets she holds, probably better not to ask, but it tastes fucken amazing

She takes campfire duty SERIOUSLY. I’m talking blankets, marshmallows, beers, trivia games and a prize selection of novelty instruments and games

Always raring for an arm wrestle comp… I mean, with those guns can you blame her?

Okay, I say this with love, but she’s a screamer. If she’s bringing home a special someone and they get handsy, find another room for the night. Lowkey though, if she says ‘fucken join in then cvnt’, she means it

Will absolutely get into a Netflix series with you, no questions asked. WILL make you laugh at inappropriate times though fair warning.

I just love her so much I

10/10 daddy longlegs are great and so is Skye

[ohmoonbeam]

I’ve been engrossed in this at night before bed (just one more chapter and then I’ll sleep - okay, just another then) and first thing in the morning (look, I’ll get up eventually) for the last few days to get to this current chapter, because I’ve been that hopelessly in love and obsessed with this work.

This has been the perfect accompaniment to my current LOD rewatch, every time something happens on the show, I keep thinking back to how the writer wrote certain scenes and finishing off the dialogue in my head.

I love these characterisations, Liz’s relationships with everyone (she’s a precious soul who needs to be protected at all costs), the angst, heartache, love, and the bind she shares with Steve is the most wonderful things to read. Oh and I reaaaaaaally love slow burn so this is wonderful. Everything surrounding this is a dream to read for me.

Thank you for sharing this with us all, this is by far the best fic I’ve read in months, maybe years. I can’t wait to see where this goes from here.

[kumoriyami-xiuzhen]

Hakuoki SSL: Tell me! Secrets Q&A

Last post of the month! so I’ll once again end by asking you to please support me if you can either on ko-fi, through paypal or patreon for access to my blog post translations or just to support me. …. also let me know if you have any hakuoki drama cds that you’d be willing to share that are on my looking for list since i either do not have audio for those cds or do not have audio that i can share...

This is the thing that i left as ???? on my March update post... and the thing that i accidentally posted the title of back in may when i was planning out my queue (oops?). 

I think I should start by saying that I translated this for amusement.... though I won't deny how this is a fascinating piece of reference for writing hahaha......

Unfortunately since this is only limited to the main six, I really wish I had some of Yamazaki’s responses to these....

Favourites by character order: Hijikata's answer to Q4, Saito's to Q5, Harada's to Q7 and Kazama's to Q7.

Only for references purposes. LMAO. 

enjoy!

Hakuoki SSL: Tell me! Secrets Q&A

From 『B's-LOG別冊 オトメイトマガジン vol.9』

Translation by KumoriYami

Q1: What is the first thing you wash when bathing [text can be interpreted as either bath or shower]?

Q2: Where would you want to go for a date?

Q3: At Hakuo Gakuen, who do you have the best relationship with?

Q4: Where do you want to go most now?

Q5: What words and actions/behaviours from a woman make you feel a rush of excitement/moves you ["feel a rush of excitement" is an idiom. can be also interpreted more literally as 'move your heart']/excite you the most?

Q6: What are your favourite school activities [roughly says: fond of school activities]?

Q7: What do you wear while sleeping?

Q8: What are your best and worst subjects?

Q9 What happened recently that made you happy?

----------

Hijikata Toshizou

A1: Hands should be washed first.

A2: This...... How about going to a Buddhist shine that has snow in its surroundings. We can recite poetry [either that or songs]....... No, I didn't say anything.

A3: Kondou-san.

A4: I don't know why, [but], no matter what happens, I want to see Hokkaido [says reckless/regardless of everything].

A5: Rather than saying affecting the heart, perhaps it might be better to say that [I'm] not good at dealing with a woman staring into my eyes without fear [or something like that...?].

A6: Although it might cause misunderstandings, that would naturally be writing exams [conducting exams to be written...?].

A7: I sleep in Western style pyjamas.

A8: The subject I am good at is classical literature, [and] I'm not good at chemistry.

A9: Probably when I met with that guy who listened to listened to me without getting tired.

----------

Okita Souji

A1: Hey, after learning about this, what do you plan on doing?

A2: Of course, it needs to be a place where you can go have fun and be happy. That's How about an amusement park, or something like that?

A3:……This question is very difficult to answer. Who knows.

A4: Now? During winter? Oh...... somewhere that isn't cold.

A5: Heheh...... you're probably just wanting to secretly watch me while thinking I haven't found anything out, and of how surprised I'll look when I do.

A6: Club activities.

A7: What will you be wearing? If you want to tell me, I'll tell you after.

A8: I'm actually not particularly good at anything, [but] I dislike classical literature the most.

A9: I saved quite a few pictures of someone recently.

----------

Saito Hajime

A1: Ah, probably the feet.

A2: Da-date!? Then...... a place to go together with a woman? For me/As far as I'm concerned, as long as we're together, it doesn't mater where we go.

A3: Well, when it concerns time spent on school activities, that would be Yamazaki.

A4: I don't know why [but] I look forward to winter, and would like to see snow as soon as possible....... I want to go to a place where I can see snow. 

[Personally, i don't get why people like summer lol. I seriously hate summer. and the heat. Snow is soooo much better than the heat. i absolutely can't stand hot weather lol]

A5: Does this question have to be answered? Really...... then, when she shows/exposes her ear...... Ah.

A6: Probably school trips. It's nice to go learn and study new things in places you wouldn't normally go to.

A7: I personally feel that tight sweatshirts are very good.

A8: I'm good at classical literature, [but] I'm not good at math.

A9: When two equal partners people share their lives...... when you hold your other half's hand, you will immediately feel that you are not alone.

----------

Toudou Heisuke

A1: If taking a bath/shower....... of course it'd be the head, the head!

A2: Obviously going to the game centre! Eh...... ah, for a date? Then, is going to karaoke OK? [ok is ENG here]

A3:  The person that I have the best relationship with, that'd be Souji since we're constantly together. However let me say beforehand, that this doesn't mean I have a good relationship with him.

A4: This period [Right now]...... it'd be nice to participate in a snow festival? I'd like to go somewhere where I can play with snow.

A5: This....... Ah....... Is it that just that I'm defenceless, or was I just relieved..... [to be able to show her my] sleeping face like that? [I think??????????????]

A6: The cultural festival!

A7: Sleeping in a skintight sweatshirt/sports jersey?

A8: Subject that I'm good at, I can fill in the blanks for modern language [i'm assuming this means a version of Japanese characters but since I don't feel like looking it up right now, I'm just going to leave that translation as is for now.] during an exam, but I'm completely unable to understand stuff in English.

A9: Er...... Well...... after being going into that room again after many years...... I found that the inside arrangement/layout had changed a lot so I was surprised. However she was really happy to let me in.

----------

Harada Sanosuke

A1: Hey. Do you know the common sense of bathing before taking before taking a shower?

A2: Date...... as long as it's the two of us together, it doesn't matter where we go. After she turns 20, there are many places that I'd like to take her to.

A3: Rather than saying that it's a good relationship, it might be accurate to call the relationship with Shinpachi and ill-fated one/ It's not so much a good relationship as a bad one between myself and Shinpachi.

A4: It's rarely winter, I want to go with a country with lots of snow. During the day I'll ski and take a sled/sleigh/bobsled, and in evenings I'll go soak in a spa/hot spring, while also enjoying other foreign culture.

A5: This....... [Seeing] the view of your back while [you're] in the cooking for me in the kitchen.

[the wording in this sentence reaaaaaaally threw me off since it kinda (more literally) reads as "in the kitchen as I cook from behind" ]

A6: All the activities conducted by the school, they're unbelievably exhausting. However, being able to watch how all the students grow and mature, is something to enjoy.

A7: Regardless of what is said...... pyjamas will ultimately become an obstruction. [ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) pfft...]

A8: This, since it's my specialty [referring to subject taught], I'm fast[? and?] good at using my body. Subsequently, I'm not good at every subject that requires lots of thinking.

A9: How can I say this, there's a line that absolutely must not be crossed when I'm together with her...... If I'm not resolute, this line would easily be crossed...... I've been thinking about this lately.

----------

Kazama Chikage

A1: Bathing......? The first thing to do, shouldn't that be immersing oneself in the bathtub?

A2:  First tell me where you want to go. I will bring you there.

A3: This way of describing the relationship is very literal [??? well something like that. either that or something along the lines of: That is a good adjective that literally describes the relationship]. It goes without saying, that would naturally be my wife.

A4: Where my wife and I get married.

A.5 Hesitating while wanting to say something with beautiful and delicate eyes while gazing at my appearance, hahaha......

A6: Of course that would be student council [activities].

[it's either that or student assemblies depending on how the words after ‘student' are interpreted, since if they are translated as verbs instead of noun/adjectives, it can mean something to the effect of 'complete gathering of students'... which is also why im kinda leaning towards 'assemblies' though.]

A7: What is meant by this question? Isn't it common sense to sleep while naked?

A8: I'm an expert at every subject. No subject exists that I am not an expert in.

A9: Fufu....... This year I will surely be able to graduate. I've been waiting for so long...... waiting for far too long!

----------

this probably felt longer to translate than it actually did lol... too many questions and answers.... also i don’t know if this was reprinted in one of the ssl books. maybe when i’m bored i’ll mtl the jp to double check some of this lol.... or not.

[favvnsongs]

I’m just so glad catra has perfuma in her life I’m 🥺

god anon me too I get really fucking emotional about it. like scorpia is almost overwhelmingly intense and overbearing in her insistence in becoming catra's friend? in Being There(tm) for catra? it very much mirrors scorpia's vibes in canon? and catra is just like "hooooooly fuck back off?!?!?!?"

scorpia just kinda, smothers and suffocates catra with love and support and friendship? she surrounds her from all sides and backs her into a corner? catra with nowhere to go and nowhere to hide and scorpia is just so M U C H all the time???? and like she gets it she does she gets what she's trying do to she gets the thought process behind it like scorpia is cool people and she has a good heart and good intentions and she means well. catra just really really reaaaaaaally fucking wishes she would pump the brakes the leave her the fuck alone before she snaps and throws something at her.

but as much as scorpia is All Of That, she still... like. okay so idk how to phrase what perfuma does in a way that doesnt misconstrue it and put her in the same camp as SW? (and I do actually need to come up with a modern trof-esque name for her still lmfao)

but perfuma's just sort of. content to cohabitate with catra and share space with her without making it a Thing? perfuma doesn't push? even once she and catra are the sort of Close Friends that they eventually become, she still doesn't push or patronize or condescend or whatever the fuck catra into doing things?

catra will ask catra Once if she's gonna come down and have dinner with her and scorpia on the two or three nights a week that their schedules actually do manage to line up in a way that they can sit on the couch and watch their shows? and while scorpia will "oh but catra come onnnnn. it'll be funnn. perfuma made blahblahblah. you cant stay in your room forever ;__;" which makes catra, as knife emoji as a person can possibly get, perfuma just shrugs and "alright then" and as far as she's concerned the issue is closed?

and perfuma's sort of.... not pushing or insisting and such, that makes catra all 🗡🗡 even more than scorpia being scorpia? like who does perfuma think she is????

and like my dudes I am on a ... bunch of antihistamines rn so I can't really get into it but I really do think that like. perfuma letting catra know that she has room and safety and freedom to make choices about what she's going to do and how she's going to do it and whether or not she's going to say no when people ask her a thing? that her no is going to be respected?

and like obviously perfuma isnt gonna be cool with catra deciding to shatter all of her nice plates and coffee mugs and junk and not have something to say about it.

but if catra wants to stay up in her room and sleep all day for days on end and not eat and stuff like that, then perfuma is gonna let her? she isnt her parent or her keeper or whatever. she isnt going to march in there and drag her from under her covers and tell her how to live her life. she isnt going to demand that catra let her into her life and to let her be her friend and to be vulnerable towards her? those are choices catra needs to make on her own?

(and I was talking to @nataliving about perfuma and catra and homemade soup and bread and heavy raw vulnerable kitchen table convos bc angst lmfao)

no but I mean. i really really really like those two.

[soveryanon]

Reviewing time for MAG182!

- I concur with Martin: the return to the Fearscape was pretty brutal with this episode, although Martin hilariously/bittersweetly provided us listeners with the warm-up he was himself missing:

(MAG182) MARTIN: … Seriously? ARCHIVIST: Yup! MARTIN: Not an hour from an oasis, and we’re already at “sinister hospitals”? ARCHIVIST: It’s the next stop on our journey. MARTIN: Of course it is, and, of course, there’s no chance for a warm-up? [SILENCE] ARCHIVIST: [INCREDULOUS] A… “warm-up”? MARTIN: Yeah, you know. Something a bit more… manageable, a, a chance to get our bearings a bit first. ARCHIVIST: What exactly did you have in mind? MARTIN: I dunno…! You know like a, like a creepy… bus stop, or something?

The little bits of Martin humour helped, in their own ways? I like how Martin was unable to find good convincing examples of not-too-creepy fears (he’s worked at the Institute for at least nine years, and we know that most statements they receive are fake claims, he probably had to deal with a lot of creepypastas!); I dislike how Martin suggested a “creepy bus stop” because the only thing I can think of is “Totoro gone wrong”. Plus, considering Martin “and you know what? If we were all happy that wouldn’t actually be the end of the world!” Blackwood’s knack for dooming things… we might get a creepy bus stop before the end of the series in the worst possible way, or Martin’s last scene taking place at a bus stop.

Martin was right with his trope-savviness, creepy hospital felt overused as a concept… on the paper. And then, surprise-surprise, this episode was still incredibly brutal, viscerally concrete and violent, and had elements which could come for Jon’s and Martin’s throats specifically: I so wonder why Martin (whose mom had health issues, who had to live the six months of s3-s4 timeskip with Jon in a coma) might dislike hospitals! Meanwhile: Jon got to tell the fate of a victim who was born in BOURNEMOUTH (where he grew up), and pseudo-gave birth to something and was then feeling abandoned by the creature-doctors… given how his own mother died from “complications during routine surgery” (MAG081), aouch? These slight echoes were enough for me to feel super uncomfortable for them, personally…

- Nothing new about the fact that Jon is better in the domains rather than inside of the no-Fears oasis, but the reminder still hurts ;;

(MAG181) MARTIN: You’re sure we can’t stay longer? ARCHIVIST: Yes, I–I–I’ve been, hum… Uh, these last few days I–I’ve been… getting weaker. Dizzy spells, vagueness, you’ve seen it. Being cut off from the Eye, i–it’s not good for me. MARTIN: Yeah, but if… [INHALE] If you’re that connected, that… dependent, what happens if we actually, y’know, do manage to– ARCHIVIST: We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. For now, I just need us to be moving on. […] MARTIN: Feeling better? ARCHIVIST: Uh… Yeah. I’m afraid I am…! MARTIN: All right.

(MAG182) ARCHIVIST: [INHALE] Truth be told, I’m actually feeling… pretty great! [PAUSE] Which… isn’t necessarily a good thing, I suppose. MARTIN: Yeah, I know. [SIGH] We stayed in Salesa’s as long as you could. ARCHIVIST: … A bit longer, actually, I was, uh… not really holding it together by the end. MARTIN: Why didn’t you say something? ARCHIVIST: It’s fine, I’m fine. MARTIN: Yeah, now. ARCHIVIST: I just thought… what with Daisy and Basira, and… You needed a break. Some time to process.

I’m glad and proud that Jon admitted that he had actually made them stay longer than he should have, and only precipitated their departure when he couldn’t hold on anymore. Ideally, of course, it would have been better to explain to Martin what was happening as soon as Jon connected the dots; but it’s also absolutely understandable that Jon… wanted to give that fragment of peace to Martin (since Jon was better amongst the Fears, while Martin hated it), and knew perfectly well that Martin wouldn’t have been able to enjoy it and/or would have pushed for them to leave quickly if he had learned that it was taxing on Jon. I’m a bit more anxious, however, over the fact that it still feels like Jon understands a few things about this world and his own condition which he hasn’t shared with Martin yet…

And likewise, it’s good that Martin isn’t bitter about having had to leave, and has his priorities straight (HA.) about himself – that he deserves to feel good, but not at the extent of sacrificing Jon or letting the whole world rot:

(MAG181) ARCHIVIST: I’m sorry, I… It would have been nice to stay. MARTIN: [WISTFULLY] Yeah… I’d almost forgotten what it was like, you know? A bit of peace, eh! ARCHIVIST: I mean, you could have… MARTIN: No, don’t say it, Jon. You know I never would. I–I can’t just “forget” about all the people out here!

(MAG182) ARCHIVIST: Was I wrong? To hold off? [SILENCE] MARTIN: … No. No you weren’t. [SCOFF] Just getting the chance to sleep again was…! [PAUSE] Ah well. Good while it lasted! Come on then. [BAG JOSTLING] “Nightmare hospital” it is…!

Extra-glad for Martin having been able to appreciate the ability to sleep since… he technically could sleep back in the cabin (but it was something bad, to torment him further), while Jon was unable to:

(MAG161) MARTIN: You should get some sleep. [CREAKING SOUND] ARCHIVIST: I… [SIGH] can’t. I–I–I can’t, I–I don’t think I do anymore… “Sleep”. [EXHALE] How long’s it been, now? MARTIN: I don’t know. It’s not like there are days to count anymore. All the clocks have stopped, and… [DISTANT HOWL] ARCHIVIST: Well, I haven’t yet. I get… tired, but it doesn’t feel the same. [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] Probably for the best. Sleep doesn’t look… pleasant. MARTIN: Nnno, it’s… it’s not. ARCHIVIST: I couldn’t wake you.

(MAG162) ARCHIVIST: “The screams may linger on the distant breeze, and your eye may wander beyond the curtains from time to time, but you and the one you love are, it seems… safe. [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] If you had need to eat, no doubt there would be food; if you had need to sleep, no doubt the beds would be welcoming. [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] But you have need of neither; and so you sit in your meagre comfort and belief of security with nothing to do, nothing to distract your mind from the agonies that lie just beyond your window.”

(MAG180) SALESA: The one and only! I must say I have been, uh… [THE ARCHIVIST AND MARTIN COLLAPSE WITH A SMALL SNORE, FAST ASLEEP] [PIANO CEASES] SALESA: [SAD SIGH] [SILENCE BUT FOR CLOCK TICKING IN THE BACKGROUND] ANNABELLE: I did say this might happen. SALESA: You did, you diiid. Well… so much for my big reveal… Shame. Ah, well. We can talk after they’ve slept, I suppose. Urgh! And had a bath. And some food.

(MAG181) SALESA: Come in! Did you sleep well? Have you had something to eat? Annabelle said she’d shown you the pantry? [SALESA CEASES THE MUSIC] ARCHIVIST: [UNCOMFORTABLE] I, er… We… slept. I, I don’t know… H–how long’s it been? SALESA: About seventy-one hours by my clock. How’re you feeling?

It’s even truer for Jon: he was able to sleep back then, and it was the first time… since the beginning of the apocalypse (MAG160). Did he even dream in Upton House? If he was absolutely cut from The Eye, it’s possible that he didn’t witness the Eye nightmare zoo… which would mean this was the first peaceful sleep he had got since season 1 and the first live-statements he had taken.

(I’m still curious about Jon’s victims, though I feel like we’re likely to hear about them once they reach the Panopticon, so I wonder if they noticed a difference?)

- … Jon has been raising a few alarms since Daisy died:

(MAG179) ARCHIVIST: Is it… Is it awful that I wish she’d recognised me? MARTIN: Daisy? ARCHIVIST: Yeah. I mean, she was… We were friends there, sort of, near the end. We went through so much and it just… I wish I could have actually said goodbye. MARTIN: Would it have made you feel any better about any of it? ARCHIVIST: I don’t know. Maybe? It’s hard to know how I feel about… anything these days. [SILENCE] MARTIN: We said our goodbyes to Daisy after the institute. This was just… This was just dealing with all the stuff she left behind. ARCHIVIST: … I suppose.

(MAG180) ARCHIVIST: How are you doing? About… MARTIN: Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I’m… I don’t know. I’m–I’m not sure how to feel; just… pressing on, you know? ARCHIVIST: I do. [SILENCE] MARTIN: Do you think she’ll be okay without us? ARCHIVIST: Oh, she’s made it this far. MARTIN: … Yeah. I just worry. ARCHIVIST: Yeah, me too. But I’m… uh, “keeping an eye on her”, so…

(MAG181) MARTIN: You’re sure we can’t stay longer? ARCHIVIST: Yes, I–I–I’ve been, hum… Uh, these last few days I–I’ve been… getting weaker. Dizzy spells, vagueness, you’ve seen it. Being cut off from the Eye, i–it’s not good for me. MARTIN: Yeah, but if… [INHALE] If you’re that connected, that… dependent, what happens if we actually, y’know, do manage to– ARCHIVIST: We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. For now, I just need us to be moving on.

(MAG182) ARCHIVIST: I just thought… what with Daisy and Basira, and… You needed a break. Some time to process. [BAG JOSTLING] MARTIN: We both did. But apparently I’m the only one who got to. ARCHIVIST: It’s okay. I deal with things differently these days. I just wanted to make sure that you were doing okay.

Reaaaaaaally Jon? Really? He’s been mostly focusing on Martin’s feelings, while not really processing his own, not allowing himself to sort them out. Is he really dealing with them? Jon had been Daisy’s friend (unlike Martin, who had one (1) nice exchange with her during season 4), and had collaborated with Basira during season 2 and more or less cohabited with her (although on patchy terms) during season 4, when Martin was making himself scarce. Amongst them, it’s mostly Jon who would have reason to want to stop and breathe, to think about what he has lost and what he could further lose… and on the contrary, he sounds like someone who keeps going while aware that he’s on limited time, thinking that it’s not even worth it to try to process things because there is nothing long-term for him anymore – unlike Martin, who might have a future…? I wonder if they will talk about the implications they can make out of their stay at Upton House: Jon had it bad, cut from The Eye, while he’s prospering in the apocalypse – would there be a way to cut him definitely from The Eye without killing him? What would happen to him, if they do manage to turn the world back? Is Martin ready to save the world if it means seeing Jon fade and die?

(- I’m a bit *squint* at the fact that the oasis happened right after Martin had it particularly bad, since he wanted Basira to stay with them:

(MAG180) ARCHIVIST: No, obviously. This place is a manifestation of– MARTIN: No. Nope. ARCHIVIST: … I understand. Of course. MARTIN: Sorry, I’ve just… [INHALE] I’ve been hearing altogether too many of your statements lately, and– ARCHIVIST: Yeah, no, no, I– MARTIN: –yeah. ARCHIVIST: I, I get it. MARTIN: Just… a little break. ARCHIVIST: That’s fair enough.

(MAG182) ARCHIVIST: I just thought… what with Daisy and Basira, and… You needed a break. Some time to process. [BAG JOSTLING] MARTIN: We both did. But apparently I’m the only one who got to.

Was there some dream-logic at work, the oasis and the rest happening because Martin needed it? Annabelle had also implied that she was expecting Martin to get into better dispositions (MAG181: “Don’t worry, Martin. We’ll meet again. Hopefully when you’re feeling a little bit more… open-minded…!”), so is part of Jon&Martin’s journey currently conditioned by Martin’s state of mind, rather than Jon’s?)

- Aaaah, they’re back to using (some) spatiotemporal markers:

(MAG182) MARTIN: Not an hour from an oasis, and we’re already at “sinister hospitals”? ARCHIVIST: It’s the next stop on our journey. […] Would it help if I told you we were actually… starting to get a bit closer to London? Well. What was “London”. MARTIN: … Actually yes! That does help a bit. How many more? ARCHIVIST: Depends on, uh… A few, at least.

Well, no way for Martin to know for sure that it had been “an hour”, but I’m surprised that Jon acknowledged that they were getting close-ish to London! And delighted that Martin understands how things work a bit better, and didn’t ask about physical rational distances, but about the amount of domains they would have to go through! He’s learned!

… A bit curious about Jon’s answer: what is it depending on? Is it about the (metaphorical, emotional, dream-logical) nature of their journey? Or is something/someone coming and Jon knows about it? … Or was Jon considering a potential detour through Oxford and Hill Top Road…?

(“A few” means that the Panopticon might be the thing closing Act II, since we have seven episodes left… Whether they reach it during MAG189 or ends up leaving it at this point.)

- What happened to London, exactly? We got a few mentions that things seemed a bit stranger than the succession of wasteland and domains that we’ve witnessed during Jon and Martin’s journey:

(MAG164) ARCHIVIST: At least with Georgie and Melanie, I have a vague sense they’re still alive, i–in London, and, or– Well, what was London.

(MAG165) MARTIN: Fine – by – me, eh! Never really liked merry-go-rounds anyway. ARCHIVIST: No? You… gone on any recently? MARTIN: What? Uh… No, I don’t think so, not since I was a kid. ARCHIVIST: Hm! I actually, uh… There’s one at London Zoo – uh, was one at London Zoo. Big old thing.

(MAG177) BASIRA: I was still in the Institute when everything went to hell outside, so I guess that protected me from the first wave. … Once I saw what’d happened… that we’d… lost… [INHALE] Didn’t feel like there was anything left worth doing, except keeping my promise to Daisy – so I went looking. […] MARTIN: Hm… Kind of? Scotland’s not really a thing anymore. BASIRA: Huh. London’s still there. Sort of. MARTIN: Yeah, that’s where we’re heading. Eventually. He’s been destroying other avatars on the way.

(MAG182) ARCHIVIST: Would it help if I told you we were actually… starting to get a bit closer to London? Well. What was “London”.

Seems like London is a bit recognisable as something which-used-to-be-London, though gone very wrong? Is it because this is the centre of the new world due to the Panopticon? Jon sounds like he knows a bit about it already, I’m reaaally curious to discover the place alongside Martin (and how it will be conveyed through sounds)!

- Ooooh Martin… Stop dooming everything:

(MAG182) MARTIN: Right. [FORTIFYING DEEP BREATH] Right! Let’s get on with it then. [BAG JOSTLING] [FOOTSTEPS AND THE BACKGROUND NOISES GET SLIGHTLY LOUDER] MARTIN: … Okay… could be worse… [THE SOUND OF BLADES, LIKE KNIVES BEING SHARPENED OR UNOILED SCISSORS WORKING] DR DOE: Good! MARTIN: [SHRIEKS] HAHHH! … HMMM, worse! It got worse! Worse, worse! ARCHIVIST: Martin– MARTIN: Ah, much worse…! ARCHIVIST: –be polite. MARTIN: Hah, hah…!

I mean, Martin, you kinda tempted fate here.

I’m snickering so hard about Jon telling him to be polite, since it echoed Martin’s snide remark from last episode:

(MAG181) MARTIN: Uh, I… already had some, thank you, uh! Some of us know how to be polite guests. ARCHIVIST: [SHARPLY] I don’t intend to accept anything offered by Annabelle Cane. MARTIN: [SIGH]

Martin could master the social cues in the no-Fear territory; meanwhile, Jon holds them in the Fearscape.

- So, if we’re still using Smirke’s categories, that was clearly a Stranger domain but I guessed thanks to the familiar elements rather than the statements themselves!

(MAG182) ARCHIVIST: Hello! [THE BLADE SOUNDS ACCOMPANY DR DOE’S MOVEMENTS] DR DOE: A pleasure, yes, hello! I am Doctor Doe, Jane. Welcome into my hospital, Inspector! ARCHIVIST: In… “inspector”? DR DOE: You have come here to over-observe, yes? To inspector? ARCHIVIST: I… hum… I–I suppose so, y–yes. DR DOE: Then follow! Let us tour our wellbeing centre; keep your screams inside, if you want to be polite. ARCHIVIST: R… right.

Dr Doe’s way of speaking reminded me of Nikola; her name was evoking the Anatomy Students (there was a John Doe in the batch described by Dr Elliott, though I think Jon would have commented if Jane was meant to be specially from that one, like with Mustermann); Breekon was there… But by itself, the hospital felt like it also had bits of Spiral, Flesh, Corruption and Web to me? With, as often, the Beholding touch of feeling watched/examined/stared at.

- Jon being identified as an “inspector” surprisingly makes a lot of sense! He’s identified on sight as an agent of The Eye, and he’s having an overview of the domains, how they operate; it makes sense that he would be perceived as someone who is ensuring that other avatars perform adequately for Beholding? We now know that the domains don’t require a ruler to work fine, since eliminating the avatars in charge didn’t change much (MAG174: “The tenement fire is still burning; the mortal garden is growing wild; the carousel i–”), but the avatars/monsters in place didn’t have that knowledge. The fact that Dr Doe was concerned about performing well reminded me of what Arthur and Simon had said of their connection to their patron:

(MAG145) ARTHUR: You’ve never really had to bother with it, have you? You got him upstairs to point the way as often as not, and the rest of the time you’re just figuring out people – or things that used to be people. You never try to talk with that Eye of yours. You never had to second-guess a god. ‘Cause that’s what it comes down to, isn’t it? We feel Its joy and Its… anger; It warps us, and changes us, and feeds on us, though not in the ways we expect. The one thing It never does is just… tell us what to do. It seeds us with this… aching, impossible desire to change the world, to bring It to us. Then, It leaves us to guess and bicker and fight over how the hell you can actually do it. … If it’s possible. Sometimes, I think They understand us as… little as we understand Them. We don’t think like They do.

(MAG151) MARTIN: You make it sound like the… the Entities don’t even know that they’re doing. SIMON: I have no idea if they’re doing anything at all – if they’re even capable of “doing” things. I know that most of their servants are simply doing their best to interpret and serve something that is almost definitively inconceivable. […] MARTIN: So– [EXHALE] So if no one’s ever actually communicated with their patron, how do you know they even want rituals? H–h–how does anyone know if they could ever even work?! SIMON: We don’t. MARTIN: [INCREDULOUS SCOFF] SIMON: And honestly, the idea that this is all some… “grand cosmic joke”, thousands of us running around spreading horror and sabotaging each other pointlessly while these impossible, unknowable things just lurk out there, feeding off the misery we cause… [INHALE] I find that interpretation quite appealing…! MARTIN: … “But”? SIMON: I still hear the music in my dreams.

(MAG182) DR DOE: It is a thing to look at, isn’t it? How much do they suffer, Inspector? ARCHIVIST: I… What? DR DOE: I help to cure them of their wellbeing but… I cannot know if my work is appreciated. I can only guess at fear, you know. Does it work? Do they… [GIGGLE] hurt? ARCHIVIST: Yes. Yes, they hurt. DR DOE: [NOISE OF CONTENTMENT] This pleases me.

And yikes ;; Jon was sincere here (and he was sad about it); Dr Doe’s contented reaction was to be expected but it was still chilling.

- Oh Martin…

(MAG182) MARTIN: [CLEARS THROAT] [NERVOUSLY] It’s a… It’s a beautiful building…! DR DOE: Do not insult me. MARTIN: I, uh… Okay. [LOUDER SCREAM IN THE BACKGROUND] W–what’s it called? DR DOE: Called? MARTIN: The hospital. DR DOE: Ah! St Bleedings Centre for Wellbeing. MARTIN: Riiight… ARCHIVIST: [HUSHED] Martin, keep your eyes forward. On the doctor. MARTIN: [HUSHED] Seriously? She’s all– ARCHIVIST: Better– MARTIN: –kinds of horrible… ARCHIVIST: –than what’s in the rooms. Trust me. MARTIN: Ah. Right. [THE BLADE SOUNDS STOP] [A DOOR IS OPENED] [HIGH-PITCHED METALLIC SOUND, AND WHIMPERS] DR DOE: You must look in here to see one of our four hundred operating theatres, where we ensure any wellbeing is swiftly and awfully dispatched. MARTIN: [HURRIEDLY] Right, right…! DR DOE: Sometimes is an anatomical wellness. Sometimes, the wellbeing they possess is mental. In both cases we have grinding machines and anti-trained doctors on nails to deal with it. Nobody who comes into the hospital leaves right. Or at all! [DOOR IS CLOSED] MARTIN: Oh. Heh! Gooooood… ARCHIVIST: Good lord… […] MARTIN: Any, uh… wards? Beds, maybe? DR DOE: Sometimes rooms. Sometimes we throw them in a pit. MARTIN: A pit, right, yeah… DR DOE: We have a canteen! ARCHIVIST: [HUSHED] Don’t ask about the canteen MARTIN: [HUSHED] I wasn’t going to ask about the canteen!

(Same as the Web theatre, some of those domains really are big ;;)

I’m so grateful for Martin’s constant “FML” reactions in the midst of the horror, he was clearly alleviating the atmosphere a bit – SOB about the idea that they’re organised to clinically prevent any “wellness” and that “being well” has no place in this world. It was also pretty interesting to see the contrast between Martin’s exchanges with Salesa (where he managed to get the answers they wanted, where Salesa was interested in him and paying attention to him) and this situation, where he was lacking the codes (unlike Jon), threatened and pretty much unaccounted for.

(… And I’m glad we didn’t hear about the canteen, but I can’t help but be pretty curious about the canteen now, woops.)

- Aww that Jon tried to put a stop to the visit ;w;

(MAG182) ARCHIVIST: Hum, Dr Doe, thank you so much for the tour. DR DOE: There is more! ARCHIVIST: Uh… Oh… “Good”. MARTIN: … J–Jon. Jon, over there, is–is that, hum…? DR DOE: He is a janitor. You are allowed to ignore him. MARTIN: Right…! ARCHIVIST: [DISCOMFITED SOUNDS] MARTIN: Jon…? J–Jon, do you… Right. Uh, uh, Doctor! Is there an empty room he can use, please? [THE BLADE SOUNDS STOP] DR DOE: What is he doing? MARTIN: He needs to… talk about all the horrible things this place does…! DR DOE: Oh, wonderful! This way.

* First Breekon cameo sneaking in! (And Jon got hit by the statement-saturation, so didn’t answer Martin’s call about it.)

* Martin immediately putting himself in charge of the situation when he noticed Jon wasn’t well! And recognising what is happening! … And he reacted fast and urgently, and that came shortly after Jon had admitted that he had pushed past his limits to make them stay at Upton House: it feels like Martin had understood that Jon actually showing discomfort over something could mean that he had felt it for a while but was trying to hide it to buy time? Since MAG163 and Martin refusing to hear about Jon’s statement, Jon had mentioned multiple times that he was trying to hold off and bottle it up, until he couldn’t anymore; so there, it was good to see Martin actually taking care that Jon got his privacy and could give the “statements” a bit more on his terms…

* Crying a bit that Martin was absolutely honest, too, about Jon giving the statements (“talk[ing] about all the horrible things this place does”), and that once again, Dr Doe’s reaction was predictable, and still yikes.

- Thaaat was quite a gruesome series of statements. What got me the most was the scale (amount of operations, just like with Francis’s acts, the fact they were counted and so… big… and never-ending…) and the mix of personal distress and “labels” of their medical forms?

(MAG182) ARCHIVIST: [INHALE] “Patient: Jeremy W. […] Date and place of last contentment: 8th July 2013, sunrise, on Arthur’s Seat hilltop, Edinburgh. Complaint: Generalised pain and creeping ennui. Surgical procedures thus far: 802. Prognosis: Delightful. […] Patient: Renee T. […] Date and place of last contentment: 27th November 2015, birthday party prior to father’s stroke. Complaint: Facial paralysis. Surgical procedures thus far: 560. Prognosis: Exciting. […] Patient: Kelly M. Date and place of birth: 1st April 1982, Bournemouth Hospital. Date and place of last contentment: Not recalled. Complaint: Headaches. Surgical procedures thus far: 220. Prognosis: Unwise.”

“Date and place of last contentment” as an identifiable piece of data (and the fact that they were waaay anterior to the beginning of the apocalypse, which happened in October 2018), and the different “Prognoses”… Also! The fact that the cities mentioned went from “Edinburgh” to “Bournemouth”: a bit reminiscent of Jon&Martin’s journey from Scotland (or Jonah’s roots: he was initially located in Edinburgh) to the South of England, Jon’s own roots?

From Jeremy’s, I mostly got spooked by the mumbling sounds exchanged between the creatures, the overall feeling of being trapped and objectified, the otherness of the doctors, the awareness that he would almost always make the wrong choice… but not ���always”, so preserving the hope of sometimes playing the game right (while the answer provided… never has anything to do with Jeremy’s actual state, is just what could potentially make it hurt less):

(MAG182) ARCHIVIST: “This was it, the moment of truth, the point at which all Jeremy’s anxiety came to a head. They all leaned in, hidden faces focused on him, as though drinking in his desperation. He had to make an answer, a simple yes or no. He’d learned the hard way that nuanced answers or stoic silence only made it worse. So he picked one. A roll of the dice. In many ways it didn’t matter which he chose, as there was no way to determine if the doctor of the day considered his wellness an aim to be achieved, or a condition, that required curing. “Yes,” he might say. “I am well.” And if he had chosen right, the mask would widen as though the face behind it extended in a smile. [HISSES-LIKE SOUNDS] “Wonderful!” would come the response, “keep it up!” And the crowd would file out and lock the door behind them, leaving Jeremy to wait for his next assessment. But he rarely seemed to choose right. The rest of the time a shudder of anticipation would pass through the medical things around him. [HISSES-LIKE SOUNDS] “Well! Let’s see what we can do about treating that,” the doctor would say. [THE BLEEP OF THE MONITOR ACCELERATES] And they would descend upon him, and drag him away for treatment.”

The hisses, like snakes, heard when the words were spoken, were absolutely awful, THANKS. (And the rising anxiety through the bleep accelerating…)

From Renee, the worst for me was the creatures takings bits and pieces of her, the fact that it was not about the pain (“It dulled the pain, but the pain was never the problem. Regardless, they always strapped the anaesthetic mask tight to her face before they began to cut.”), but about being manipulated and used by creatures who didn’t know what they were doing, the otherness and strangeness of what was put into her, the skinning, the biggest fear still being that she has a problem (“[The pills] might have done nothing, been naught but dust and sugar, but she could never be sure. The sickness, the seizures, the spasms, the sadness… If it wasn’t the medicine, then it was inside her. And it had always been inside her. And she just… didn’t know.”), and:

(MAG182) ARCHIVIST: “An organ diagnosis was simple: open her up, dig around inside her until they could remove something that could conceivably be a liver or a pancreas or a gallbladder…?, then put something back in its place.”

THAT HESITATION WITH “GALLBLADDER”…

Kelly put Jon’s mother to my mind, since she was born in Bournemouth, her misadventures evoked a child delivery, and Jon’s mother had died from complications during a surgery. So. Aouch. There might have been a bit of Lonely creeping in that one?

(MAG182) ARCHIVIST: “How long has it been? There is no way to tell, not here, but they will come back. They must come back, they always do, they must swap out this cold and hollow emptiness for some fresh pain an–and torture. She longs to feel the pain, as it is at least a feeling. But the fear has grown inside her now. What if the doctors are finished? What if she is treated, and this is all there is now? What if she is well? Kelly looks to the door, and waits.”

The fact that Kelly ultimately was waiting for her torturers because having to remain like this would be worse than experiencing another operation? Was awful D:

- The post-statement cut very fast for once; we only heard the static rising, indicating the end of the statement… and the tape recorder turned off even before we heard the static fade, or Jon landing back to earth.

The succession of recordings was curious! Because there were two tape recorders involved (Jon’s, and Martin’s): was Martin’s encounter with Breekon happening right after Jon’s statement (implying that Jon took a small break by himself before finding Martin back)? Or did Martin’s recording begin while Jon was still giving the statements, implying that what we’re listening to is definitely a compilation put together after the events?

Jon had reminded us that Martin had a tape recorder with him:

(MAG181) MARTIN: They sort of just … follow us round? SALESA: Hmmmm. Interesting. Did you carry it in? Things shouldn’t be able to manifest in here like that. ARCHIVIST: … You had one in your… bag, I–I think, Martin, did, did you drop it here? MARTIN: Uh… I, I don’t think so…!

And there were many options as to when Martin picked it up: MAG163, when he spotted one in the water(…ish river)? MAG166, when he had taken Annabelle’s call? MAG170, when he was alone in the Lonely house? It’s interesting that the tape recorder chose to turn on when he was alone, near Breekon, as if sensing that there would be an interaction soon (while, except for MAG166, Martin is usually left in his corner while Jon gives his statements…).

- Breeeeeeekoooon!!

(MAG182) [CLICK–] [BACK TO THE GENERAL SOUNDS OF THE HOSPITAL, THIS TIME WITH ACCOMPANIED SCREAMS] [FOOTSTEPS AND MOPPING SOUNDS APPROACH] BREEKON: ‘scuse me, Doctor. Just cleanin’ up. MARTIN: … Oh, I’m, uh, not a doctor, eh! BREEKON: Whatever. I got work to do. [MOPPING SOUNDS]

* Same VA as Dr Elliott, so… he kinda was there in spirit in an episode with what potentially used to be an Anatomy Student (through not necessarily from his batch; it seemed to be a repeat performance).

* So Breekon hadn’t died in/after MAG128! It wasn’t clear, since we had heard Jon hurt him badly, and Jon had mentioned that Breekon wasn’t… going well afterwards:

(MAG128) ARCHIVIST: Stop. [HIGH-PITCHED BUZZING SOUND OVER STATIC] BREEKON: What’re you doing? BASIRA: … Jon…? What are you doing? BREEKON: What’re you– Stop it… Stop it! ARCHIVIST: [ECHOING] No. BREEKON: [STRUGGLING, BUZZING INCREASES] Enough! Stop… looking at me! [SCREAMS] [DOOR SLAMMED OPEN, FLEEING FOOTSTEPS WHILE BREEKON IS STILL SCREAMING, DOOR SLAMMING SHUT] ARCHIVIST: [PANTS] […] “I am without him, now. I. am. I can feel myself fading. Weak. No reason to move. Nothing to deliver.” […] ARCHIVIST: I, I saw that… thing’s mind, i–it’s lost on its own. No partner, no… purpose, I… I honestly think it just wanted to do another delivery.

Jon hadn’t killed him back then, but I had wondered if the experience of being known to the core had been traumatising enough to make him slowly disappear (since Gertrude had also mentioned how avatars tended to wither away after a failed ritual, two episodes afterwards). Impressed that Breekon kept going all this time!

* Oh, Martin… honest in the wrong places… He really didn’t need to point out that he wasn’t a doctor…

- OF COURSE, MARTIN WOULD REMEMBER HOPE’S NAME FIRST…

(MAG182) MARTIN: Hang on… Hang on, are you– Wait, which one are you? H–Hope, or, hum… BREEKON: Breekon. Hope’s dead. Do I know you? MARTIN: Hm! “Hope’s dead”. Bit on the nose, isn’t it? BREEKON: Glad losing half my existence has given you a funny little metaphor. MARTIN: Oh. Well, I mean, eh, that’s not actually a metaphor per se, so…! BREEKON: [WEARY] Piss off. MARTIN: Oh, I’m… sorry, am I, am I supposed to be sympathising? After everything you two did to people? BREEKON: … Guess not

Aouch Martin.

… I feel personally called out because, when MAG128 aired, I immediately revelled in the “Breekon is Hope-less” jokes (AND STILL DO.), listen, if you two steal the name of a man’s company, be ready for the consequences.

… It hurts how technically, both sides were a bit right: Breekon couldn’t expect sympathy from Martin (they did awful things! To so many people! They brought the Not!Them via the table inside of the Institute, and it killed Sasha! They kidnapped Jon! Breekon trapped Daisy into the Coffin!), but it’s true that Martin was absolutely heartless and lacking empathy (twisting the knife in the wound).

- zesidojker about Martin confidentTM that his boyfriend could kick Breekon’s arse:

(MAG182) BREEKON: Who you waiting for? Maybe I can rip them away from you, see how you like it. MARTIN: You’re welcome to try…! BREEKON: Wait… No, I do know you. We gave you a delivery, didn’t we? Years back. You’re one of Magnus’s lot, right? MARTIN: … I was, yes. BREEKON: Wait… So does that mean, in there… The Archivist? MARTIN: That’s right.

* Sob about Martin saying he’s not from Magnus anymore. He really wants to have nothing to do with Jonah anymore, uh. (At first, I feared it was a nod towards his allegiance to The Lonely…)

* A REMINDER!! ABOUT THE DELIVERY!! Back in season 1, Martin had received the Web lighter on Jon’s behalf!

(MAG035) BREEKON: Won’t take up your time. HOPE: Just got a delivery. MARTIN: Look, you really can’t actually– BREEKON: Package for Jonathan Sims. HOPE: Says right here. MARTIN: Well, I don’t really know where he– HOPE: We’ll just leave it with you. BREEKON: Be sure he gets it. MARTIN: Okay, I will, but you really have to actually– BREEKON: ‘course. Much obliged. HOPE: Stay safe. MARTIN: … I’ll… try?

(MAG036) TIM: Oh, ah, nothing urgent, um, it’s just Elias was asking a couple questions about the delivery. ARCHIVIST: Delivery? What delivery? TIM: Ah well, that’s actually what he was asking, huh! Um, apparently Martin, uh, took delivery of a couple of items last week addressed to you. Did he not mention it? ARCHIVIST: No, he… Oh, yes, actually. I completely forgot. He said he put it in my desk draw, hold on. [SOUND OF PACKAGE BEING RETRIEVED AND OPENED] TIM: Er, what is it? ARCHIVIST: A lighter. An old Zippo. TIM: You smoke? ARCHIVIST: No. And I don’t allow ignition sources in my archive! TIM: Okay. Is there anything unusual about it? ARCHIVIST: Not really. Just a sort of spider web design on the front.

(MAG037) MARTIN: Okay, fine. There were two delivery men. They were big, and they spoke with cockney accents that might have been fake, and they delivered a package for you. I don’t remember anything else about what they looked like. ARCHIVIST: Nothing at all? MARTIN: [EXASPERATED] They looked normal. Like you’d expect. They looked like two, huge, cockney delivery men. I don’t know what else you want? ARCHIVIST: What about the table? MARTIN: I didn’t see the table. I guess Rosie must have signed for it. I mean, it’s her office on the way to Artefact Storage, that makes sense.

Well. Presumably received. Martin signed for something, and Jon remembered later that Martin had left the package for him, and Martin confirmed that the item he had received for Jon wasn’t the table (since Rosie took care of that one). A bit “damn!” that we didn’t get any new information about who had sent the lighter, since Breekon would have been the last person to know about it aside from the sender, but… well, we haven’t heard everything about the lighter anyway, so the sender might explain why they had done it at some point. (Annabelle being the ideal culprit, but mmm… I don’t want to exclude that it can’t be something/someone else?)

- Elevator music:

(MAG182) BREEKON: … I’ll wait with you. MARTIN: I… thought you had work to do…! BREEKON: Just spreading the smell around. Doesn’t matter. None of it matters. MARTIN: … Right… [SILENCE BUT FOR HOSPITAL SOUNDS] [DOOR OPENS] ARCHIVIST: Hello again, Breekon. [DOOR CLOSES] BREEKON: Yeah… ARCHIVIST: He hasn’t been bothering you, has he Martin? MARTIN: Well… BREEKON: Nah. Just been chattin’.

* So Jon had probably recognised Breekon already when Dr Doe commented about the “janitor” in the first part of the episode (or Jon already knew Breekon was somewhere in the domain before entering it), given his absence of surprise. And he implied right after that he already knew what was on Breekon’s mind, what he wanted from him…

* … I love that Martin was ready to snitch. You petty thing, Martin, you.

- Breekon joining the long list of avatars/monsters who could just feel or know that Jon was closely tied to this apocalypse:

(MAG164) HELEN: What would I have to gloat about? Much as I am delighted by this brave new world in which we find ourselves, I can take no credit for it. This was all… you!

(MAG165) ARCHIVIST: She’s just like everything else here, rules by The Eye. [CHUCKLING] And she hates it…! NOT!SASHA: Well, of course you want to wallow in my shame like your voyeur master!

(MAG168) ARCHIVIST: “Report to prevent future deaths. This report is being sent to: [STATIC FADES] The Great Eye, that watches all who linger in terror, and gorges itself on the sufferings of those under its unrelenting, stuporous gaze! And its Archive, which draws knowledge of this suffering unto itself.”

(MAG169) JUDE: Fancy seeing you both here. To what, exactly, do I owe the pleasure, the honour, of being graced by the great and powerful Archivist, harbinger of this new world, and his, uh… valet…?

(MAG171) JARED: Mm. … So, is there any way this doesn’t end in me dead? I’m guessing that’s on the docket if you’re here. Unless you’re just here to smell the flowers.

(MAG173) ARCHIVIST: … Do you know who I am? CALLUM: … You’re the Eye guy, right? ARCHIVIST: That’s right. CALLUM: So you’re like… real important.

(MAG174) SIMON: Good to see you again, Martin! And you must be the famous Archivist, Herald of the Ceaseless Watcher, Harbinger of the New Age, etcetera. Lovely to meet you at last. […] I imagine you know pretty much everything by this point. How is it? How does it feel? [SHUFFLING] ARCHIVIST: … Strange. SIMON: Yes! I can imagine. These gifts can feel very disconcerting at times. I’m sure you’ll get used to it eventually.

(MAG182) ARCHIVIST: So you’ve come to me? BREEKON: Didn’t mean to. ARCHIVIST: No, but you have. Because there’s something you want, isn’t there? BREEKON: … Yeah. ARCHIVIST: Say it. BREEKON: … Kill me. MARTIN: Wait, what? BREEKON: The way I figure, you’re the one who made all this. So if anyone can end it, you can. Can you do it?

* Which makes it even more significant that Salesa didn’t know about it “naturally” (Annabelle had told him about Jon’s patron), and that Basira didn’t have that knowledge either. In the same way, Melanie&Georgie might not know about it, unless they’ve been working with someone in the meantime…

* Big “YIKES” about the implications of “you’re the one who made all this. So if anyone can end it, you can.”: Breekon was spot-on on that specific situation involving him, since Jon could end him personally, but on a larger scale… can Jon put an end to all this, personally, since he was used as the lynchpin for this apocalypse?

- Why am I crying again about Breekon, I thought MAG128 had been enough…

(MAG128) BREEKON: Dunno. ‘t’s not right… on my own… not right… No point in doing it on my own. Don’t know what happens now… Thought I might kill you. Missed my chance. Thought I might just… deliver something. So here’s a coffin. [RATTLING SOUND] In case you want… to join your friend. […] ARCHIVIST: “I have never known hate before. I have never known loss. But now, they are with me always, and I desire nothing but to share them with you.”

(MAG182) BREEKON: Glad losing half my existence has given you a funny little metaphor. […] We arrive somewhere, deliver terror and death, then leave, never to be seen again. Not much call for that now everyone’s in their little “kingdoms”. Maybe if we were complete, we could’ve done something, but as is… No. Can’t say I want this to be my forever.

The fact that through Hope’s death, he learned loss… that he felt quite clearly depressed (“Doesn’t matter. None of it matters.”)… His obsession with fracturing pairs:

(MAG128) BREEKON: In here. [KNOCKS ON SOMETHING] Realised that I’m not tied… to it anymore. Not on my own. Thought you could have it. Pay your respects, lik– BASIRA: [BROKEN VOICE] Daisy’s in there? BREEKON: … That’s ‘s name? Then sure. ‘t’s in there. Whatever’s left. Find out if you like. […] ARCHIVIST: “When that Hunter killed him, when she took her violence of mindless instinct and unleashed it on us… it was there. It was waiting. I fed her to it. She took him from me. Made us a me, and she doesn’t get to die for that. She gets to live, trapped, and helpless, and entombed forever. No prey, no hunt, no movement. We failed, but I have at least that comfort. I am without him, now. I. am. I can feel myself fading. Weak. No reason to move. Nothing to deliver. But I am no longer tied to the casket; so you can have it. You can stare at it, knowing how your feral friend suffers, knowing how powerless you are to help. And when you can’t bear it any longer, knowing that you can climb in and join her…”

(MAG182) BREEKON: Who you waiting for? Maybe I can rip them away from you, see how you like it.

His old habit of saying “we” instead of “I” resurfacing again and again:

(MAG128) BREEKON: [HUFF] Yeah. Just like when we… when I… fed the copper to the pit. […] ARCHIVIST: “She took him from me. Made us a me, and she doesn’t get to die for that.”

(MAG182) BREEKON: You think I dream of mopping floors? No. We’re… I’m a delivery man. […] It isn’t great for an anonymous thing like us… [SNIFF] Like me.

The fact that unlike avatars, he had apparently just popped up like this, hadn’t had any choice or options in his “career”, was bound to that nature as a monster… (and that he was unable to reinvent himself after Hope’s death)….

- Elias had pointed out that The Stranger was “antithetical” to Beholding (MAG092), we had seen Jon hurt Breekon when he extracted his statement (MAG128), and it sure looks like Stranger creatures have a harder time than others in the fearscape:

(MAG165) NOT!SASHA: Do you know how it feels? To be… anonymous, and yet known? To have all the sweetest dread I can create tainted by the relentless gaze of that damned Eye! I’ve suffered enough!

(MAG182) BREEKON: Besides, it hurts all the time. The Eye won’t ever stop watching, and… [SIGH] It isn’t great for an anonymous thing like us… [SNIFF] Like me.

Meanwhile: The Dark was given the task of the grooming babysitter, and Jon mentioned that going through the Distortion’s corridor would destroy Helen. There is still some Beholding-favouritism in that new order.

- CRIES about Jon honestly laying the cards on the table:

(MAG182) ARCHIVIST: … Very well. I warn you, though: it will hurt. BREEKON: Only until it doesn’t though, right? [STATIC RISES] ARCHIVIST: Right. MARTIN: Good luck…! BREEKON: Whatever.

… since yeah. It will “hurt”, but unlike everything else in this world, the pain will also stop pretty fast, and depending on people’s opinion and on the hope (or absence thereof) of finding a way of fixing things, it might represent a better option for a lot of people…

(SCREAMING about Martin’s “Good luck!”. Martin, please.)

- Jon’s invocation was a bit more developed and specific this time around:

(MAG165) [STATIC INCREASES] ARCHIVIST: Feel it now. Understand it. You have drawn out so much despair, and now finally, it’s your turn [STATIC INCREASES] [DIGITAL GLITCHING SOUNDS] Ceaseless Watcher, turn your gaze upon this wretched thing! [STATIC INCREASES, WITH MORE PRESSURE] NOT!SASHA: No! No… Please, no…! [DIGITAL BURSTING, RIPPING SOUNDS] NOT!SASHA: [FADING] No…! [STATIC DECREASES AND FADES]

(MAG169) [STATIC RISES] ARCHIVIST: I’d have thought that was a mindset you would appreciate. [STATIC INCREASES] Now, feel it! All the terror and pain you’ve inflicted. JUDE: Oh, piss off– [PAINED GASP] … [STRAINED] Look, look. Wait, right? I’m sorry, okay? I… shouldn’t have burned your hand. […] [STATIC RISES: LOW AND SPIRALLING, PRESSURING] JUDE: Uh! Listen… Listen… [BREATHLESS CHUCKLING] You’re enjoying this, right? ‘Course you are! You want to use those powers of yours to hurt people, you want to murder everybody who can’t fight back at you now? I can help you…! [DIGITAL GLITCHING SOUNDS] MARTIN: Just DIE already!! JUDE: You’re… not… better… than… me! [SCREAMS] [DIGITAL BURSTING, RIPPING SOUNDS] [STATIC DECREASES AND FADES]

(MAG171) [STATIC INCREASES: LOW AND SPIRALLING, PRESSURING] ARCHIVIST: Feel it. JARED: [MEATY HISS] ARCHIVIST: Feel all the terror and despair as your garden grows. Let it flow through you, and blossom! [MEATY SOUNDS] JARED: [GROANS] ARCHIVIST: Just people, using each other up! [DIGITAL GLITCHING SOUNDS] Ceaseless Watcher, turn your gaze upon this thing and drink – your – fill! JARED: [GROANS] [MEATY SOUNDS] [DIGITAL BURSTING, RIPPING SOUNDS] [STATIC DECREASES AND FADES]

(MAG182) [STATIC INCREASES] ARCHIVIST: [INTONING] Ceaseless Watcher, gaze upon this thing. BREEKON: [GRUNTS] [STATIC INCREASES: LOW AND SPIRALLING, PRESSURING] ARCHIVIST: This lost and broken splinter of fear. BREEKON: [PAINED SOUND] [DIGITAL GLITCHING SOUNDS] ARCHIVIST: Take what is left of it as your own, and leave no trace of it behind! BREEKON: [PAINED GRUNTS] ARCHIVIST: It. Is. Yours! [DIGITAL BURSTING, RIPPING SOUNDS] BREEKON: [GRUNTS IN PAIN AND THEN DISCORPORATES IN AGONY] [STATIC DECREASES AND FADES]

With Breekon, it really felt like an offering to Beholding ;;

- Oh, the end of the episode felt so… tired and empty. Jon had done everything he had to (doing a favour to someone “very bad”), and it was basically an assisted suicide; plus, Breekon had been around since the beginning of season 1, he had been recurring (through statements and in person) during the whole Stranger arc and beyond. It felt like a bit of a book ends, although… done in misery and exhaustion. Even Martin was feeling a bit awkward about the whole situation:

(MAG182) [SHUFFLING] MARTIN: … Right. ARCHIVIST: I suppose we should find Doctor Doe. Finish our tour. MARTIN: Do we have to? ARCHIVIST: [HUFF] Probably not. MARTIN: … I don’t really know how to feel about that. ARCHIVIST: About Breekon? MARTIN: Yeah. ARCHIVIST: … Me neither.

;; And Jon is definitely not processing at all.

(MAG182) ARCHIVIST: I didn’t enjoy it, but… I don’t know, almost felt like doing a favour for an old friend…! MARTIN: [HUFF] An old friend who hated us. ARCHIVIST: I guess. Maybe we don’t have to feel any way at all. MARTIN: [NONCOMMITTAL SOUND] [BAG JOSTLING] [FOOSTEPS] ARCHIVIST: Come on, this place is starting to get to me.

There is the added sadness that Jon technically did something good (granting a wish!), but to someone really bad, and it was to kill him. Jon had mentioned that he felt like smiting avatars was making him worse:

(MAG174) ARCHIVIST: I–I just–! … This whole… “avenging angel” thing, I–I’m not… It doesn’t feel right. MARTIN: … It seemed to feel right when we were avenging all the wrongs done against you! ARCHIVIST: I know. I–I–I know, all right? But, well, th–… [SIGH] That’s kind of the problem, I have all this… power and, and I, I want to use it to try and help, but I… I don’t know, I mean, I do. Uh… I’ve done so much damage, an–and anything that might help to balance that is–! [SOFT SIGH] … But killing other avatars, it, it’s not… I, I don’t think it makes anything better. I think it just makes me worse. MARTIN: … You’re removing evil from the world! ARCHIVIST: I, I’m not, though, am I? [STATIC RISES] The tenement fire is still burning; the mortal garden is growing wild; the carousel i– HELEN: Urgh!

And he clearly did not do it out of revenge or anger, here… but it was still something he wanted to avoid because he felt that it was negatively impacting him. (Extra-sob over how like with Salesa, death was presented as a relief, because there is nothing good or better to hope for in this new world… Right now, the overall situation feels so depressing, like nothing good can be created ever again and the most anyone can hope for is just for things to end?)

I wonder if part of the final awkwardness had to do with the fact that Breekon was unable to go on after losing Breekon, which obviously puts Jon&Martin’s own relationship to mind: would Martin manage, if he were to be the only one left?

Alrighty, so they’re coming close-ish to London. I’m surprised that Helen didn’t pop by to pester Jon&Martin as soon as they came out of Salesa’s domain (since they might have been off the radar from her too, and she had kept tabs on them until now, even when she wasn’t revealing herself?), but that might be coming up: she had visited them right after Jon had smote Not!Sasha (his first kill Ceaseless Watching someone), and she had been quite cross when Jon had finally officialised that he didn’t want to do it anymore with Simon… so she could come back to comment on Breekon’s death. (And mmmmmmmmm… Helen, do you actually have a death wish just like Breekon, except it would be against your nature to be straightforward about it…?)

Them getting closer to London could mean Georgie&Melanie soon, too (since Jon had conjectured that they could be in London)? Hill Top Road might still happen on the way if they go a bit more South, too (especially with the reminder of Breekon’s delivery: lighter with a spiderweb is a thematic reminder of a certain Desolation&Web(&Co) house), and Annabelle had pointed out that they would see her again soon-ish… So, mm! Are they meant to be reaching the Panopticon in MAG188/MAG189, to close Act II? Or will they do something else before?

MAG183’s title makes me think of Smirke a lot, potentially Jonah, but the connection seems a bit unlikely given the overall, uh, state of the world. Vast or Buried? Lonely domain?

[all-might-blog]

I've always loved you and always will

Summary:

I always had eyes for her. The silent green-haired girl from the Support course. Even after all these years, I've never forgotten her…

Notes:

For DrikaVeras.

I honestly have no idea about what prompted me to write this. I suppose that it's due to Tumblr's influence.... Aaaaaanyways, enjoy the read! Let me know your thoughts about it ^^ (Gifted to DrikaVeras because their work, Alpha and Omega, inspired some things over here. Also because their writing is reaaaaaaally good) (written in Toshinori's perspective)

I always had eyes for her. Ever since my school days. Her green hair, roundish face, emerald green eyes stayed with me all throughout these years. I would be able to pick her out from a large crowd. I knew every smile she put on by heart; the happy ones, the sad ones, the tired ones... And yet I was a coward. I never had the nerve to step up to her, maybe invite her somewhere. Perhaps things could have gone well, but I already knew that I didn't stand a chance, seeing the way her eyes lit up whenever Hisashi smiled or did something to make her smile. I had let her slip right through my grasp. I didn't listen to Yamada or Oboro when they told me that I still had a chance, that I could still try. Nana also tried to convince me that not all hope was lost, but I would able slip away from her whenever she tried bringing it up. No matter what others told me, I just had to acept the fact that she was already beyond my grasp.

Years passed. Oboro's death hit us all hard, Shouta the most. Nothing Yamada or I did could get our turtured friend to speak. For a while I believed that we had also lost him, but soon he moved on. He missed Oboro, he said, but there was no point over crying over spilled milk. Then All for One attacked. I didn't think I would ever heal from the wound that Nana's death had made. It didn't, at least not completely. I knew she had made a sacrifice, a huge one that hadn't only been for me, but also for the entire world. I adopted a smile to hide the pain. Her smile, that is. Traveling to U.S was hard, since I was leaving behind what life I had lived and was heading down a path with an ending I had to see for myself when it came. I trained hard like master had told me to. And I met her. The green haired girl, who was now a young woman and whose name turned out to be Inko. I thought I had lost her, but it didn't seem to be that way. Hisashi was with her too, looking for a hero agency the two could join. That's when we begun to work toguether. David Shield was added to the group soon after I rescued him, becoming one of my closest friends. The years passed by and soon enough we were growing to be one of the top ten agencies in America. And Inko and I were growing closer and closer together. First as friends. She was one I trusted, I would tell her anything, being there if I needed help and vice versa. And then, well...

Then she and Hisashi left US. It was not long when I received an email containing the two of them standing side by side. Inko was a beautiful bride. And not long later, her son was born. No, not their. Hers. When Hisashi found that he was not the father, that I was, he left them. No matter how many texts I sent to my beloved, she wouldn't reply. I couldn't blame her if she was angry at me. She could have had a bright future with Hisashi, and yet I had been there to ruin it. I never forgot her, but I didn't bother her. Years passed, and even when I returned to Japan, the only memories I could hold were those of our past. I would see her once or twice every few months, sometimes alone, simetimes hand in sand with her beautiful son. Yet I never stepped forward. Never dared to shatter more than I had already.

Looking for my next successor lead me to applying for a post at U.A to teach. Of course, that was changed when I suddenly ran into a strangely familiar boy who reminded me very much of the woman I had once loved and still did. I just knew that he was the successor, the one who could bring peace to this world. Years passed before I saw my beloved once more. She remembered me, but she didn't show it. We kept it a parent-teacher meeting in front of Izuku (well, that ended with me swearing protection for her son). She called me for the first time in years when I returned to my appartment, a few hours into the night. We spoke. We spoke for a long, long time. Listening to her voice, which did not sound too nervous at all, brought back memories I had almost forgotten about. We spoke until she excused herself to go to sleep.

After that, we spoke more frequently. I texted her daily on updates of her son, and she would reply with shorter messages. Once or twice, she would invite me over to tea or dinner. We avoided what had happened between us all those years ago for a while, until it screamed at us to not be ignored any longer. There was a great deal of tears, a little bit of shouting... but in the end, all it took was to confess. Because I had eyes only for her and hear alone. No matter what, I would love her. I would... and always will.

[shikitsune]

50 Questions You’ve Never Been Asked

I was tagged by @yuiaka Thank you so much! 💕

1. What is the color of your hairbrush?: Pink

2. Name a food you never eat?: This one’s difficult cause I’m really not picky. There are certain foods like paprika and raisins that I avoid eating but I usually don’t go out of my way to pick them out if they’re in my food

3. Are you typically too warm or too cold?: Recently, COLD

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago?: I was probably.. Either on discord or studying for exams.

5. What is your favorite candy bar?: Hmmmmm.. I’d say Geisha or Kismet (both Finnish chocolate bars)

6. Have you ever been to a professional sports event?: Yeah, I’ve been in a few ice hockey matches.

7. What is the last thing you said out loud?: "Mee pusu syömää~” to my dog, trying to encourage her to eat.

8. What is your favorite ice cream?: Ben&Jerry’s no doubt. The ones with lots of caramel are the best!

9. What was the last thing you had to drink?: Uhhh probably water

10. Do you like your wallet?: Yeah, I do. It’s a bootleg Michael Kors wallet I got as a gift lol

11. What was the last thing you ate?: Rice and spicy sauce with chicken! Home made, I was kinda proud of it lol

12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend?: Nope

13. The last sporting event you watched?: I don’t really watch them.. Maybe when ice hockey world championships were going on I watched some of Finland’s matches?

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?: Butter

15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to?: I’m currently texting with my friend on Discord

16. Ever go camping?: I mean I have been at a summer camp? But I haven’t gone into the woods with like a tent and stuff. We once did that in my friend’s backyard tho grhdthetd

17. Do you take vitamins?: I try to remember take vitamin D every day but I... usually forget

18. Do you go to church every Sunday?: Nah

19. Do you have a tan?: Nope

20. Do you prefer Chinese food or pizza?: Both are good but right now I’m craving... Pizza!

21. Do you drink your soda with a straw?: Only if I have lipstick on

22. What color socks do you usually wear?: It varies so much lol

23. Do you ever drive above the speed limit?: I don’t have a driver’s license lol But I have been in the car when my stepdad is speeding countless times so that’s nice :)

24. What terrifies you?: uhhhhh it’s actually something very personal and deep rooted that I would rather not talk about as of now at least

25. Look to your left, what do you see?: My phone and a remote control

26. What chore do you hate?: dusting

27. What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent?: ahhhh I’m sorry if it offends anybody but when I hear an Australian accent I can only think of kangaroos 🙈

28. What’s your favorite soda?: Probably.. Coca Cola or Moomin soda!

29. Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thrus?: I prefer going in but I’m not against going to a drive through either

30. Who’s the last person you talked to?: On the internet, my friend. In real life, my dog lol

31. Favorite cut of beef?: The what now?

32. Last song you listened to?: It was some Hatsune Miku song that I came across on Tumblr today

33. Last book you read?: I think it was... The magicians by Lev Grossman

34. Favorite day of the week?: Saturdayyyyy

35. Can you say the alphabet backwards?: I think I could if I concentrated?

36. How do you like your coffee?: Oversweetened and preferably caramelized

37. Favorite pair of shoes?: Uhhhh I guess my high heeled boots

38. The time you normally go to sleep?: ........2am nowadays.... gosh

39. The time you normally get up?: 10am usually

40. What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets?: Sunsets

41. How many blankets on your bed?: Two

42. Describe your kitchen plates: Most of them are pink and belong to the same series

43. Do you have a favorite alcoholic beverage?: I like cocktailssss and vodka shots

44. Do you play cards?: Sometimes with certain people

45. What color is your car?: I don’t have a car but my stepdad’s is white

46. Can you change a tire?: Nope

47. Your favorite province?: I honestly don’t know lol I live in Uusimaa but I haven’t had any experience living elsewhere so I can’t really compare

48. Favorite job you’ve ever had?: Hmmmmmm.. Maybe when I was at a subway car maintenance station? That was pretty chill

49. How did you get your biggest scar?: I don’t have many scars and the ones I do have are small. But I guess the biggest incident that left a scar was when I was little and this boy threw a branch at my face and it struck my eye really hard. At first I just thought I had a black eye but when I looked at my hands they were all bloody and I realized my eye was bleeding. The wound on my eyelid looked really nasty for a while and I had to wear an eyepatch but it healed completely and only left a small mark that you don’t see unless you inspect reaaaaaaally closely.

50. What did you do today that made someone else happy?: I told my friend how much he means to me and that made him really happy!

I tag: @yukinyaminyato @stealthgrass @mbejus @beananium @wicked-game-black-butler @rednite-dork

As always, no need to do this if you don’t feel like it! And if you’d like me to stop tagging you, tell me and I won’t tag you ^^ Peace 💖✌

[mav-exe]

It's Thursday! I'm a bit bummed that I wasn't able to go out to karaoke last night, but I reaaaaaaally needed the sleep... 😅 Well, since I'm all rested up, I'll be ready for karaoke tomorrow night! 😁

[marlcasters]

Get To Know Me Tag

oof i got tagged by the precious Oreo @sabinascourtesan  and I couldn’t just ignore it. :) ok here goes:

Name: Anastasia

Nicknames: Ana,  Stage (lmao you don’t wanna know) , Stacy

Star Sign: Aquarius

Height: lmao umm I haven’t checked in a while

Sexuality: Bisexual kind of leaning more into guys though.

Hogwarts House: Slytherin

Dream Trip: I reaaaaaaally wanna go to Italy

AVG hours of sleep: 8

Why I made Tumblr: I went down the rabbit hole of wanting to make a bunch of aesthetics and it kept saying “mAkE aN aCcOuNt LoOk aT mOrE pICtuReS” some strange shit like that so I did.

Dog or cat person: I’m not really either? I genuinely feel like I ruin the lives of animals just as I do to humans. My cat died and I had to give my dog away so I don’t really go near animals anymore

Reasons for URL: I’m the unicorn Briar Daly and Edmund Marlcaster would ride into the sunset on. Obviously. I’m here to make my baby’s dream come true.

5 things you’ll find in my room:

- A BED (ik shocking)

- Desk

-Bookcase

-A freaking wardrobe(gasp again)

-Probs my laptop

5 things that make me happy:

- Oreo ice cream cheesecake (it’s a thing I invented and omg perhaps my life matters)

- Honestly? This fandom, I know it’s cheesy but you’re all so precious and ily.

- People actually respecting my personal space bubble

- B99 (god tier show with a god tier cast)

-  Watching Shane (I watch those food tasting videos everyday, I miss those days)

5 Things I’m currently into:

- Choices (duh)

- Legacies

- B99

- IT for some reason

- French (except the fact where I have to speak to the people next to me)

5 things on my to-do list:

- Find inspiration to actually post Love Letters & Threats

- Find a way to get rid of the teacher in training from Science so I can actually get decent grades once the end of year exams come up

- Catch up on Legacies.

- Convince my mum it’s OK for me to go to prom with my friends and without a boyfriend . ( It’s in like 2 years and she needs to chill but that’s a whole other thing)

- Somehow finish highschool and sixth form. Successfully get a job.

Tagging :  @mebro1174 @melodyofgraves @elementalistshoe

[hyungkyun]

(^:

HENLO!!! this is ur actual bday present, not that Gross thing i sent earlier lol. again, do whatever u want with it!! u dont have to post it or anything. it’s just easier to submit stuff like this than to, idk, send u an email like a señora lol.

ok so im doing this in bullet point format bc the last time I wrote a coherent, well-written paragraph was like 5 years ago or smth. anyway!! since u hated soooo much my beautiful, amazing, unique goths au im going with the loser couple au… which was also a college au of sorts?? dskjhksjdf this isn’t even an au, since y’all are already losers tbh (^: this also got out of hand…. this shit is eight pages long. idk enjoy bithc.

first of all, ck the kind of dude everyone’s lowkey scared of bc he’s silent and serious af. also he does seem kind of a weirdo, tbh?

youve seen him around, maybe you’re in the same dorms but u have absolutely no idea what he’s majoring in :o and u ask around but no one has any idea either!! oh wow a mystery~~

BUT he’s kinda cute hmmm (^: and u probably find the weirdo vibe interesting

however it’s so hard to get to talk to him. u always run into him when you’re out with friends or in a hurry to get to class so :///

but destiny works in mysterious ways~~~ and once u meet it’s rly. so unexpected.

actually, it’s awful since u get locked out of ur dorm sound familiar?? during winter break, rly late at night after a long study session at the library yes, the library, fight me. so u kinda just. sit down miserably outside ur room, since ur roommates are gone, cursing everything and everyone. u will eventually go looking for someone to help u out or smth but right now u need to Whine.

but oh my!! enter mister im changkyun!!! that weirdo who actually lives a couple of doors away from u (how come you never found out wtf???)

he sees u basking in ur misery and actually. finds u rly cute??? bc you’re pouting, cursing a little under ur breath, fumbling with ur phone. but u also look angry as fuck, ready to kill a man??? and yet you’re really fucking cute what the hell!!!!

so he comes up to u and asks u what’s wrong, to which u answer not so nicely without even looking up from ur phone, bc you’re rly so done with this situation ://

but then u look up and u See who it is fuck fuck fuck fuckfucbicvufkhkcfj

but since ck’s Nice and he understands that u must be having an awful time (and also bc he thinks youre cute) he offers to help u. you’re kind of skeptical since he’s just another student, what could he do???

until he tells u he knows how to pick locks lmaoaoaoaoa. that lil weirdo (‘:

anyway he saves ur night. but since he’s an annoying lil shit he’ll tease u abt it every time he runs into u for the rest of winter break.

since that day y'all basiclly become an old, bickering, married couple fnsdjdj

u never stop annoying each other…. you’re wearing a hoodie? he’ll probably pull the hood all the way down until it covers ur eyes, and u get him back by messing up his hair which, by the way,is so soft….. hmmmm

u call each other nerd and loser and dumbass all the time lmao. he’ll constantly bring up the way u met just to jokingly say that you’d be lost without him :/// he rly is a lil shit.

it’s funny bc everyone figures out u are falling for each other… except u two. and i rly do mean everyone. ur friends. his friends. ur roommates. ur cat. the janitor, too, probably. it’s so obvious it hurts.

one time someone implies u would be a cute couple and y'all literally go all ‘no???? haha me??? liking that loser??? pfft not in a million years’

it’s the biggest lie, of course (: and ever since that person suggested u would look good together, both of u kind of realize it’d be… nice. more than nice. actually, super nice.

but since both of u are dumb tsunderes,  as ive said before, u will literally be the embodiment of this scene… except it goes both ways. honestly u are so gone for each other it’s GROSS.

but we need some angst up in here so y'all dont get together for a reaaaaaaally long time :/ smh. the pining is Real. ppl come and go in ur lives, and each person u go out with sees that u already fell for someone else—and that’s why all potential relationships don’t last much–, but sdjkfhksjdhk!!! neither of u want to openly admit it.

it’s A Mess bc u are actually good friends and u tell each other abt ur dates and stuff—secretly hoping the other will do something—but y'all looove being dumb so u act like it’s all cool and be like ‘o rly!! good for u, i hope it works out’. right. :/

y’all keep dancing around each other for several months until one Merciful Soul gets tired of ur shit and forces u to sort things out. im talking abt locking u up in some room and not letting u out until u stop pretending u aren’t disgustingly in love with each other. or smthequally cheesy (: u know ilove cheese

((obviously everyone eavesdrops through the door bc cmon, theyve been waiting for this for sooooo long))

at first u two are just annoyed at the Merciful Soul betchait was minhyuk, and u spend ur time yelling and cursing them for doing this (all while claiming that this is pointless, since u have NO feelings for each other. none. nada!)

after a very long time, it’s ck the one that confesses first lmao. youve been whining and being grumpy the whole time youve been locked up together and it kinda reminded him of the way u met… damn. here come The Feelings.

he’s tired, and there’s nothing left to lose. so he tells u The Truth.

[suspenseful pause….. what’s going to happen next?? :OOOOO]……… tune in next year to find out, in the continuation of Cristina’s Cheesy Birthday Present!!!

jk, proceed to the next bullet point pls.

obviously u tell him u feel the same way [insert ppl crying in the background] and he’s actually shocked when u say u like him back…. and gosh, he does look cute when he’s surprised…

so yeah!!! it’s until then that u FINALLY go on a date during the weekend!!. hallelujah. thanks minhyuk,u beautiful soul.

so!!! ok!! first date!!! a rly cute fairground in the evening!!!

u try to be fake mean to each other like u used to but everything feels different~~~ (^:

so instead y’all act bashful as hell, and blush at everything jjdfghjfhd. hands brushing accidentally?? BLUSH. eyes meeting? BLUSH. BLUSH BLUSH BLUSH!!! u also laugh at everything bc both of u are so nervous oh gmhg fdknjjkdsfjoidf this is gross.

he’ll tell bad jokes to make u laugh and they’re rly so so so bad that he actually keeps u in stitches. if u look rly closely you’ll see his huge ass heart eyes bc !!!! he made u laugh!!!! and u look so pretty when u laugh omg!!!! dis-gos-tinnnnn

it’d be such a cute date tbh im crying just thinking abt it (‘’’’: obviously he’s a gentleman and he lets u choose what to eat, which ride to go to first, etc. u could literally tell him ‘hey let’s just sit down and do nothing’ and he’d say yes. he’s so gONe, ifmgfjdmf.

he’s kinda quiet and a lot shier than u wouldve expected but youre literally melting bc that’s a new side to him that you’d never thought you’d see.

u end up having so much fun (‘: u gross lil idiots, u.

oh and he’s def the type to ask if he can kiss u at the end of the night EYYYYYY

even if u find that incredibly endearing you’ll probably roll ur eyes with a huge ass smile on urlips lmaoaoaoao and call him a dummy for even asking when you’ve literally be in cloud nine since ur date started kjkhwjeqdkwjlk  

[hello, brief break to clarify that from this point i forgot this was actually a college au lmao, so the rest of the bullet points are literally just. random facts abt u two dating hhhhhh. We dont even know what ck’s major is odjfngnfdj]  

at first things are a lil awkward in ur relationship tbh

catch ck googling ‘how to relationship’ on a daily basis dnfndkfjdncn he is sort of clueless abt how to handle The Feelings. mostly bc this is Important and the last thing he wants is to mess it up )^:

that goes away eventually, tho!! he’ll start being his weird little self real fucking soon, so Get Ready

u still call each other nerd and all that stuff, but ur voices are dripping with fondness when u say it… literally everyone around u gets cavities from it, ew.

he’s not that big on planning dates but from time to time he’ll take u to rly cool, unexpected, interesting places :o  and eventually he’ll show u his favorite secret spots ((’:

study dates are a thing. i bet he’s that type of person that enjoys reading in weird ass positions… his legs are like, halfway off the couch and his arm is bent in a way that looks almost painful… what the hell….?? but it’s fine (: it goes so well with ur study methods, those that are Too Weird for the library, yeah?? (:

he will also stare at u a lot bc u look cute when you’re rly focused on smth that is, when u stop  whining abtstudying…

every time u catch him doing that you’ll go all ‘stop staring at me!!! wtf are u looking at u weirdo’ and he’ll answer ‘you’re so pretty~~~ ♥️♥️♥️’. you’ll blush like a lil idiot, naturally (^: hmmmm

and yea, yea. nap dates are a thing too :/// with sleepy forehead kisses and raspy voices and tangled limbs. all that sappy stuff. he’s a lil shit tho, so he’ll sometimes poke ur ribs to tickle u lmao.

buuuut he’ll also take a lot of pics of u sleeping bc he thinks youre cute )))): his faves always end up being his wallpaper for months.

he’ll get strange gifts for u, like rly bizarre plushies and rare books on topics he thinks u will like,  tacky anime memorabilia, etc. he’ll always give them to u at random times bc he just saw them and reminded him of u ♥️  

he makes a lot of playlists for u too!!! pls listen closely, he puts a lot more thought into them than he lets on.

u like his selfies??? well he’ll send u a lot of those. unfortunately, bc he’s a lil shit, he’ll mostly send double chins and weird ass faces from equally weird angles  

from time to time he’ll send u a Nice One tho ((((^: and u know, tongue selfies since youreSO fond of his(and I quote) “5ft tongue”. and oh gosh! is that a tongue piercing…??? eyyyyyy

if u want to take couple selfies then you’re gonna have a real hard time bc he’ll always be making weird faces and poses just to be annoying. eventually u will make dumb faces too tho (’: what a couple of losers

expect weird random texts: he loves telling u abt whatever is on his mind—probably aliens. he thinks a lot abt aliens and the universe. throw some conspiracy theories in there, too—. he’ll also send obscure memes. and a lot of russian cats!!

he’ll love ur cosplay hobbie. he thinks it’s super cool. he’ll call u a nerd but don’t be fooled! he totally brags abt it with his friends (^:

oh! and this is unrelated but at some point y'all will look like an emo goth couple. u won’t even realize that you’re both wearing black and looking Edgy, it’ll just happen spontaneously. tragic 😔

there are a lot of comfortable silences when u hang out, but late night deep convos are also fundamental :o!!! bc y'all are Smort.

he’ll act like f*cboi from time to time tbh?? he’ll tell lots of dirty jokes LMAO. u roll ur eyes at him a lot bc they’re rly. so bad.

if he winks or does Eyebrow Things then u can’t rly roll ur eyes and act like you’re annoyed bc (: u like it (: and u think it suits him (: and he knows it (: (: (:

u get back at him by telling him he’s cute tho, and he’ll get all shy and he’ll stutter and saying “noooooo” while also fighting back a smile

he will also howl or bark at u to annoy u jdfhkjdf. damn f*rry ://

on that note, he loves to embarrass u in front of ur friends bc he’s a lil shit :DD

But he’s also the sweetest??? whenever he sees you’re feeling down he’ll start doing weird shit to make u laugh. if that doesn’t work then he’ll hug u real tight without saying anything else, bc that’s Enough, u know?? (’:

ok time to get Domestic lads!!!

Idk who the hell is going to cook bc y'all are a damn mess in the kitchen. u two try to cook Nice Meals sometimes. seven times out of ten u end up ordering takeout lmao.

be prepared: he sings in the shower, and he does so terribly. (he might do it a little louder and a little more off-key sometimes bc he knows it makes u laugh)

random kisses are a thing!!! he kisses ur cheek or ur shoulder or ur nape or literally. any body part he can get his lips on when u two are just hanging out, watching movies or smth. it’s so soft and cute )^: wtf im crying

but also stolen kisses!! he’ll kiss u at the most unexpected of times and it alwaysleaves u breathless

he’ll constantly put his head on ur shoulder and make this face at u (^:  

can’t sleep??? don’t worry!!! he’ll sing to u with that pretty, soothing voice of his

anyway. what I meant is that y’all would be such cute little idiots together this was long af. wow. im so sorry. happy birthday??? lmao

I HAD TO PUT THIS UNDER A READ MORE BC ITS SO FUCKING LONG NAT U DUMBASS ICB U DID THIS KFJSKFJSLKDJFLKJ THIS IS SO CHEESY AND GROSS and it also made me realize that u know too much shit abt me. what was that t*ngue part. im not talking to u ever again. aNYWAY U RLY ARE AN IDIOT I WAS SMILING SO BIG THRU THIS WHOLE THING MAYBE I SCREAMED A LITTLE?????????? FUCK U!!!!!!!! WHATS WITH ‘The Feelings’ PART I HATE THAT I ALMOST DIED FUCK OFF IM NOT LIKE THIS!!!!!!! I DONT HAVE FEELINGS!!!!!! U CANT DO THIS TO ME SKJFHSKJDHFKSLDJFH 

icb u rly did the fairground first date i rly fucking hate u why did i even tell u these things i knew it was gonna fire back im fjjgjkknknnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn ur ‘tragic 😔’ when we become a goth couple :/ u dont understand goth love

why the fuck did u make him howl. i wanna fucking die rn. what the fuck. he fucking would. fuck off.

i dont wanna talk abt all that domestic shit how did u even write all of that without dying i literally wanna rip all my limbs off i wont make any comment. i didnt need to know what that would be like but u looooove ruining my life so :)

i rly hate u ksdjfhskdjhfksjh icb u did this thank u i wanna die??????????? wtf nat !!!!! no but rly thank u :( u took the time to write this long ass college au (is it????? whats cks major tho rly :/ ) and just skdfjsjk u remembered all the weird shit i told u thats cute and also Really Bad what else do u know that i forgot i told u skdfksjh im literally always screaming at u abt this shit how did u !!! remember all of this!!!!! dldskfjshljhlakjsh this is so cute and horrible nat wtf how could u :( now im gonna cry :(

[tswoondere]

This is a mutuals mention game! u need to mention one or more mutuals that come to your mind at first when you read the following words (per word): flower, angel, love, smile, laugh, chocolate, sweet, cute, gorgeous, fun, sun, moon and stars 💓

okay this is difficult i wanted to tag mutuals on multiple words but here goes…

flower: @wonnmoo even if ate audrey’s not active here anymore she always reminds me of flowers because she’s so beautiful.

angel: @mvpgyu my angel, no further explanations. ♡

love: @manzeonfai my wife, my love ♡

smile: @rappershua i don’t really have a reason for this but yeah 

laugh: @cheolshu i laugh 90% of the time when i talk to this woman i swear 

chocolate: @hanwooz because kellie is the sweetest 

sweet: @wonhuis i haven’t talked to paula that much but she’s one of the sweetest people i’ve talked to on this website

cute: @minigum gumi is the cutest person i reaaaaaaally think that she is

gorgeous: @wonnhao i haven’t really seen gen personally, but whenever she speaks it actually just sounds like it’s how a gorgeous person talks (THIS IS SUCH A BAD EXPLANATION)

fun: @amemericans the meme duo who stans the meme duo i love these two so much it’s always fun whenever i talk to either of them

sun: @xmhs solely because her old url was sunkissedhao lmao jk it’s really because she’s one of the brightest and funniest people i’ve ever met

moon: @jeonwoooo i don’t have a particularly long explanation, but mostly because we live on different sides of the world and 80% of the time we tell each other to go to sleep 

stars: @forgetjunnot because her old url was spasticstars lmaaaaao okay but really because she’s there to guide me when i feel lost (CHEESY, DON’T DISOWN ME LOVE YOU)

[99chidis]

let’s chat about this whole...thing... this hellish scene that haunts me at night because it’s just so. well. done!!!

well first we get to witness how jonah cradles amy in his arms so she doesn’t get hurt, which is.......a Blessing

then the air shifts, shit just got very real and death is on the table. you can see jonah’s thinking about kissing amy, obviously he’s thinking about it, he’s stuck with a woman he’s probably (most definitely) in love with in a possibly lethal situation. but he doesn’t do it! jonah wouldn’t initiate it because he knows she’s still married and no matter the counselling and the talk they had at cheyenne’s wedding, no matter THE FREAKING TORNADO THAT’S GOING TO KILL THEM BOTH, she is MARRIED and for some reason hasn’t filed for divorce yet. maybe it’s because of emma, maybe she still loves adam and wants to try and ‘fight for their marriage’. whichever it is, it’s not jonah’s place to decide, or to inflict any of his feelings on her and somehow affect her decision. he also will not be That Guy who warps a married woman into cheating on her husband!! no way!! so if there is still even the slightest chance, that amy is, or could be, happy with adam again, he will not do it. even if he really, reaaaaaaally wants to

because then it would be either: they die and both go to the bad place hell for being horrible people OR they live and both are haunted by the fact that amy cheated on adam

and then,,,,there’s amy? who is like… well frick, my divorce papers are on my nightstand, adam sleeps in the basement, I’m literally about to DIE, so maybe I can do this one self-indulgent thing, for once, in my entire life and kiss this big dumb nerd?? so she does. she grabs his dorky face and kisses him like there’s no tomorrow (which isn’t that far from the truth at the time). and it’s so ground-breaking that it stops the tornado. damn. if this ain’t a sign for her,,,,,HECK

a big bonus is jonah’s expression right after, poor guy is SHOOKETH

that’s it. i’m sorry, i needed to get this out of my system, i just l o v e everything about this except maybe how they cut in the middle of the kiss to show cheyenne freaking out just like before and glenn praying JUST LIKE BEFORE

[donatellotmnt]

My bed is reaaaaaaally comfy, the temperature is perfect right now(even if i had to take my shirt off) I do have a story in my head like always when I'm going to bed but today it doesn't work... I don't read books in bed because i know I'd like to finish it already so i won't sleep till I finish it and for the light i can't sleep with any light like at all hehe... Thank you for the advices, but i think i just need someone to hit me hard enough at the head so i get unconsious XD

When I need to sleep I read dilbert comic strips.

I hear you. If you get into a good book you want to finish it. Suddenly it’s 3am. 

[ppeachygf-archive]

i was tagged by the @harderchanyeol ( i love that bih w all my heart 💖💞💕✨💫☄💖💞💫☄ )

nicknames - ana, anyuta, yuta,  .. . anal lmao i h8 my friends gender - yes star sign - capricorn, the god tier earth sign height - 5′2″ // 161cm sexuality - bisexual hogwarts house - slytherin  favourite animal - i reaaaaaaally like snails average hours spent sleeping - 5 - 6hrs dogs or cats - this question is one of the worst questions u can ask me i love both ok number of blankets i sleep with - two dream trip - a trip tht takes me to all the countries of the world dream job - scientist, astronaut, those jobs where u game for a living when i made this account - a few weeks ago  why i made this account - so i can keep up w all my kpop groups o and memes # of followers - 69 i need a promo. okk imma tag : @gfhoney , @bbhyvns , @burubery , @11pristin + anyone else who wants to do it 😗