#i ran into that term once online

[theback-rooms]

Ask your neighbors if they've seen this too! If the stairs make any kind of architectural sense, they'd presumably also connect to the closets of the people directly below you.

I don't really know any of my neighbors. I just moved here in 2021 and everybody was still pretty holed up from the pandemic. I moved here to be close to a friend, and then she got a new job and moved away. I like my apartment, so I haven't wanted to move, but I don't have a lot of people I know here, and most of them are just friends of my friend, so I'm not particularly close to them. That's why I had so much trouble deciding who to talk to about this staircase thing, because I'm not really close to anybody here. I even work remotely, so most of my co-workers are in a different state!

I eventually decided on talking to Katie about it. She's someone I met at a local swing dancing event a few months ago (Yes, I know: crochet? swing dancing? I'm a nerd.) We hit it off and we've hung out a few times since then. Anyway, I messaged her and we arranged to go out for breakfast tomorrow morning (she was busy tonight--a date, lucky bum!). I'll tell her about it then and see if she'll believe me.

Meanwhile, I took people's advice and talked to the maintenance guys. Specifically, I talked to one maintenance guy, Carter, who has apparently worked here for decades. I asked him a bit about the history of the building. He said it was built in the 60s and it was originally a hotel.

Here's the lobby:

(sorry about the smeary camera lens)

Interesting fact: it turns out that the 7th floor, where I live, was not original to the building! It was added on later. You can kind of tell when you look at the photo from the outside:

There's that ledge between the top (seventh) floor and the next floor down.

But there's still no possible way for those stairs to be there. When you look at them through the stairway door, they go straight out the wall before curving around. That means that there would be an externally visible stairwell sticking out from the wall, and you can see that there isn't one.

I tried asking Carter about it anyway. I'm sure my face was bright red, but I started telling him about "a friend of mine who found an old boarded-up stairway in her apartment building" and asked him if anybody had ever found something like that here. He laughed and said no, and added that he knew every nook and cranny of the building, including the elevator shafts, the attics, the roof, and the little cubbies in the hall that open up so they can access the bathroom plumbing in the rooms when something breaks. If there was anything resembling a secret stair, he'd know about it.

I guess he just doesn't know anything about a stair that according to the laws of physics, couldn't actually be there.

[embv]

anyway if anyone is curious about where i’m at with the dsmp lore, i’m at that awkward stage where my initial hyperfixation for a character has died down and i sit back and think about their actions and their behaviors and i look back at how i justified/rationalized those as being better (or done with good intentions) than they were, and at how i would have characterized this character in the height of my hyperfixation, and i realize: wow, this character is more of an asshole than i was willing to admit, and i think part of me even knew that but was just too protective of my idea of them to admit that, maybe, despite already knowing they were an asshole, they were a Lot meaner than i treated them as, and i’m going to have to adjust my characterization of them and their subsequent dynamics with other characters (while still remaining in line with canon content and canon themes) because of it.

[starastrologyy]

Composite Chart Notes 🪐

Hi everyone, please do not copy or repost anything I write on other social media platforms :) I recently became aware of a Pinterest page reposting all my posts from TikTok/tumblr! I don’t have a Pinterest for my astrology blog :)

A composite Aries Rising, can often indicate a very active couple. They may enjoy partaking in various sports or various forms of physical activities together. However, they can appear to be a very argumentative couple, this is especially true of mars, mercury, or pluto squares the composite ascendant. Their conflicts can often be made public.

This is interesting because in terms of long-distance couples, I often see Uranus conjunct the descendent or Uranus in the 3rd house in their composite charts. A composite Sag or Aqua rising is also common in the charts of couples who are long distance.

The North Node in the composite 5th house can indicate a couple who have children together.

Another indication of a “hidden” or private relationship, is if the composite chart ruler is in the 12th house.

This is more of a personal anecdote, but I once had a man slide in my DMs on Instagram. We had mutual followers but I didn’t personally know him. Long story short, he just began offering to buy me things/send me money with nothing in return. Obviously I found that kind of suspicious as there’s usually a catch! He didn’t even push meeting me in person! We just kinda spoke online for a bit. I got his birth details and ran a synastry chart between us. We had no 2nd or 8th house overlays. However, his Jupiter did aspect my Sun (which explains why he was so generous towards me). I then took a look into our composite chart, and our composite Sun & Moon are both in the composite 2nd house! Additionally , the ruler of our composite ascendant is in the 8th. Which explains why our relationship is literally based on him sharing his resources with me, giving me money, and buying me things. Obviously not all relationships with this kind of configuration will play out like this, I just thought this was so interesting.

There can be elements of sexual idealizations in relationships where there are hard Mars-Neptune aspects in the composite chart. One or both people may feel as if they have met their “dream” sexual partner if the orb is particularly tight. However, once the illusion or initial “high” fades. This aspect can prove to be problematic in many ways. There can be deceptions and disappointments that start to manifest. Mars square Neptune is common to see in the charts of *affairs* or short lived sexual relationships. However, please remember the entire chart needs to be taken into consideration.

Couples who travel a lot together usually have significant 3rd and 9th house placements in the composite. Jupiter in the composite 9th, 3rd, or conjunct the composite Mercury can also indicate a couple that travels frequently.

A couple with Jupiter or Venus in the composite 7th house, can make very good business partners. Couples who have the ruler of their composite midheaven, in the 7th house, may also decide to go into business together.

My readings are still open for those interested ! The link is in my bio :)

[olderthannetfic]

History of blogging

I wonder how many people here actually know much about when blogs started. There were a few outliers early in the 90s that inspired a few mid-90s online diarists like Justin Hall (at my alma mater! though I only ran into him once when he came back to visit some friends). These were a few people—and I do mean like single digits—who put a diary on their personal website in date order and got popular enough that others started noticing.

Then, in 1999, a few sites tried to run with the idea. Livejournal and Blogger were founded then. So were a few others, some successful and some quickly forgotten.

Blogs qua blogs are really a 2000s phenomenon.

Of course we've always been interested in diaries. The Pillow Book isn't exactly recent. But the term 'blog' got popularized in the 2000s. The modern formats of blog, from the standalone, major "Look, Ma, I'm a journalist" blog to the personal diary social media site, are very 2000s.

Irrelevant to our new favorite copypasta, but I thought it was interesting to reflect on how recent these are.

[doberbutts]

You mentioned in response to another ask that you don't use "transandrophobia" because the trans theory you were taught by trans women told you that "transmisogyny" covered those things and that is a total revelation to me. I've been thinking for a long time that it seemed to me that the idea of transmisogyny *does* cover transandrophobia, it just impacts trans femmes and trans mascs differently a lot of the time. But I had no idea that there has been theory/discussion that says this. I'm more used to the idea of "TMA" with the implication that only trans women are affected by transmisogyny. Is that more of a new thing and transmisogyny used to be considered as a more broad term? And would you trace that change to the same issue you're talking about with a lot of current feminism forgetting how feminism is also a "men's issue"?

Idk if I would call it "new" per say. The word trans-misogyny was coined in 2007 and did not include trans men, but the book in which it was coined did mention that language was likely needed to describe the trans man experience as well. There have been a number of different attempts, but none have really stuck.

I went to college starting in 2010, so roughly 3 years after Serrano coined the word. While in college, my school's GSA wanted LGBT elders to come and talk to all the scared freshly-minted adults who were trying to figure out this being gay thing. The woman who ran my GSA found a Trans woman who was willing to be my mentor and sponsor, she wrote my letters for me back when that was still necessary for medical transition, and we met frequently for her to teach me more or less how to be trans safely. Some things she did not know- how to bind safely, how to attach a semi-permenant packer, etc. But others she knew very well, because she herself dealt with both being seen as a man by society as well as the effects of testosterone on her body for decades before she transitioned.

Anyway. This woman was great, and is a significant portion of the reason I'm still alive to this day. And she is who taught me the word transmisogyny, and that it should really cover all trans people because all trans people experience an intersection of transphobia and misogyny. Whether that was popular theory at the time or not, that is what us young kids learned directly from the mouths of trans women at my college, which to me means that others were also learning this particular version of transfeminist theory.

Unfortunately by the time I dropped out of college in 2013/2014, online trans spaces were having stupid arguments such as "transtrenders are bad" and "neopronouns are bad" and "nonbinary people are cis people who want to feel special" and "trans men should be hunted for sport" and "trans women are incel nazis" and. Well. I went "wow this place is a cesspit and I feel like no one here has actually talked to another transgender person face to face" and then did not engage with the online community. So I don't really know how common or popular the understanding I was taught was at the time, though it certainly seems quite rare now.

(As a caveat I don't really think trans people of any gender have anything that isn't similar with each other when it comes to oppression, outside of certain bodily things that can't be helped because that's literally the thing we're transgender about, and I think we all experience very similar oppression but sometimes with a different hat)

As for what caused this particular defining to fall into obscurity? I really can't say. I don't know how popular the transfeminist theory the trans women who spoke at my GSA meetings taught us actually was in the broader world. Every once in a while I meet someone who lived through that same time who remembers that theory, which tells me it had gained at least some traction if it was being discussed in multiple parts of the country, but... that's really it. And it's pretty unpopular theory nowadays, I get people calling me a scumbag and claiming that I say transmisogyny doesn't exist just for mentioning that the theory I was taught includes trans men in the discussion.

But I don't think it's specifically the whole TMA/TME thing. I think it's a lack of understanding of what oppression and what intersectionality are, how they operate, how they work, how we define things through them. There are many people who believe that men do not experience misogyny. But, they do, that's why it's an insult to a boy to call him a girl during a moment of femininity or vulnerability, as a means of calling him weak because girls are believed to be weak. There are many people who think intersectionality turns oppression into additives, as though stacking marginalizations like dnd buffs. This also falls apart because oppression is not like quick math where you add a +5 to every roll if any part of your identity is privileged and a -7 if any part is oppressed.

I've had people get mad at me for saying that straight people experience homophobia while we also have sitting politicians that make jokes on live TV about how they'd drown their (presumably straight) children if they found out their kids were gay. For saying that GNC cis people experience transphobia when butches are getting kicked out of bathrooms and drag queens are getting jumped in bars. For reminding people that when Sikhs are killed due to being mistaken for Muslim in this country that hates Muslims over a national tragedy our Muslim population did not cause, it's still considered and called Islamophobia, because just because Americans are too stupid to tell a Sikh from a Muslim doesn't mean they weren't spurred into that hate crime by their rampant hatred of Muslims and the sight of a turban and long beard.

[doetic]

anything. (TEASER) - dom!experienced!Jschlatt x smaller!sub!inexperienced!F!reader (18+)

Plot: Inexperienced reader finds herself in the bedroom of a man she had only met online that morning in an attempt to be more spontaneous and adventurous following a breakup. Warnings: BDSM (very light hitting and choking but no established safe word), smut, hookup culture, size kink (reader is described as shorter, thin, small and fragile compared to schlatt), female reader with female parts (not many gendered terms besides occasional things like good girl) Word Count (for this snippet): 456 A/n: Based on a Jordan Romano self insert smut I wrote in a notebook during a boring uni lecture

“So fuckin’ tiny,”

Schlatt’s voice came out as a low, near-growl as he looked you up and down with a slow, predatory gaze. His large hands tightly gripped your waist with a possessive firmness to them.

“I could do anything to you, and I’d bet you’d love it all.” He wet his lips. “Wouldn’t you?”

Shyly you let out a hum of confirmation, looking down at his hands on your waist rather than up into his eyes. Sex in general wasn’t something you were clueless of, but definitely not your area of expertise. However, he was handsome, and you were feeling spontaneous following the end of a long term relationship.

“C’mon toots, use your words,” he let out an amused chuckle, moving his left hand from your waist to your cheek. His thumb was placed under your jaw and turned your face up to look him in the eyes. “You’ll love any way I decide to use you, won’t you?”

“Y-yeah,” a warmth filled your cheeks as you spoke “Please use me…”

If you could purr, a low rumble would have filled your chest at the electric feeling of his touch. The intensity of his gaze could almost be physically felt as he searched your eyes for any sign of wanting to back out, but despite the nervous energy wafting off of you, there was none to be found.

His oh-so-tempting lips parted into a cocky grin, his thumb gently rubbing the skin of your jaw. “So shy… don’t worry, I can be gentle.”

You felt cold as he removed his touch from you and sat down on the bed behind him, gesturing for you to straddle him.

“It’s okay,” you spoke as you obeyed his silent command. “It’s just been a while.”

You ran a hand cautiously and shyly along his chest, looking down at your hand instead of his face again. His hand gently grabbed your wrist and guided it underneath his shirt with the careful patience one would give to a frightened animal.

“I won’t hurt you baby, I promise.” He spoke, leaning into your neck. You almost gasped at the feeling of his breath against your sensitive skin alone, and once his lips pressed against it you felt as if you were dissolving into his touch.

You believed his words, but knew at the same time that the man before you was a wolf in sheep’s clothing. The large man before you certainly had the capability to bruise and harm you in the most heavenly ways at his will, and a part of you craved for his gentle touch to become the harsh and animalistic one you knew he was capable of.

“I know,” you replied sincerely. “Please don’t make me wait.”

[the-witch-of-one-piece]

Secrets Kept From Him 18+ Chapter 6: Keep It To Yourself Ran x F!reader x Draken WC:6.9k Resident: @enchantedforest-network Synopsis: The aftermath of Draken confessing his true feelings to you, leads to you both being in your bed. Ran appearing late with a surprise you d/n and you the following day. The surprise would end in a tense discussion and bringing out a side of Ran you had never seen before. Draken facing his own challenges regarding his ex-wife. Ms. Yamaguchi doing her own little research into Ran's life. Ran and Rindou preparing for a risky move with a powerful family that ended on bad terms years back. Tw: drinking, smoking, oral sex, vaginal penetration, masturbation, pet names (good girl), reverse cowgirls position, creampie, orgasm, clit stimulation, making out, possessive behavior, suggestive theme, argument, divorce Draken, mention of death, weapons, criminal affairs, bribery, (unedited) MINORS DNI

You looked at Draken. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt.. right? He is single and I’m single and what we did last night. You could honestly tell he was serious about the question he asked you just moments ago. He wanted a fair shot to show you how he cared for you. giving him a soft nod you agreed to the date “I will go on a date with you Draken.” 

You could see Draken's shoulders relax a bit, the small smile on his lips.  The more you both looked at each other your lips gravitated towards one another. Something about his kisses was intoxicating; it drew you more with each passing second.

Your arms draped around his neck, and he pulled you closer to him. The soft moans escaped from your lips His hand reaching for your back side as he gave it a squeeze. He was tempted to place you on the counter and give you another taste of last night. The intimacy was something you definitely missed. Getting lost in this moment it was becoming hard to control the urge to be fucked right there and now.

The moment you heard footsteps upstairs you both separated not before he stole a quick kiss. You tried to compose yourself quickly. Your D/n greeted you both “Good morning Mommy and Kenny.” 

“Good morning sweetie.” You smiled

“Morning kiddo.”

“Kenny you're here early,” she wasn’t used to seeing him this early.

You looked over at Draken waiting for him to respond. “I want to have breakfast with you both, sooo I came over. ” 

You walked to your room and grabbed your phone. You hadn’t looked at your phone since you put d/n to bed. You had a voicemail from Ran. You finally managed to listen to the voicemail.  Sitting on the edge of the bed you could hear the bothersome tone in his voice. He seemed to really mean his words as he left the voicemail...A deep sigh came from your lips. Coming from downstairs you could hear d/n laughing. Going downstairs once again you began to prepare breakfast with Draken helping you out.

~~~~~~~~~~

Ran was on his way home, he hadn’t heard from you. He was contemplating calling you again but knowing you may not answer again. Rin was going through his email on his phone. An email that he didn’t expect to receive at all, after a bad business deal a few years back “Interesting… The Nishimura family  wants to set up a meeting.” 

The Nishimura family was known for the connections of illegal weapons along with connections to the black market. The Haitani brothers were one of their transporters. Even running them in the club preparing them for the black market auctions. When they weren’t getting their fair cut of profits, it became a conflict. The bitterness of back and forth for the past few years, even them keeping a hidden stash of weapons from a truck that went missing. It became suspicious of the sudden meeting, when deals go south with the Nishimura the people would end up dead. It was odd that I wanted this meeting.

Ran wasn’t convinced that it was a business they wanted to talk about. But he was rather curious about what they wanted. “No meeting in person. Set it up online….I get the feeling that it's just more than wanting to make a deal.” Ran responded with his eyes on the road. 

“I was thinking the same thing.” He responded. “Still are you going to be alright with doing this if they mean business.” 

“Of course if they don’t fuck us over like the last time…by all means.I bet they were having issues with there other transporters.” Ran responded.

“That’s not what I’m asking…What if they find out about ______ and D/n. You didn’t have to worry about it back then now that they are both here.” He didn't answer right away “If it comes to that point where they threaten them… I will for sure put a bullet in each head.” Rin responded to the email and now just waiting for them to respond.

~~~~~~~~~~~

“I will pick you up tomorrow around 7.” Draken was getting ready to leave. 

“Yeah that sounds great.” You responded with a small smile walking him to the door. “D/n come say bye,” you called out. 

D/n came over to the front door, Draken kneeled down. “Bye Kenny! Thank you for yesterday.” 

He gave her a hug “anytime. We can do something else soon, okay?” He rubbed the top of her hair. “Be good for your mom okay?”  she nodded as she ran back to the living room.  

Draken looked at you, his finger going under your chin. Both of you leaned for your lips touching. “I will see you tomorrow.” 

“See you tomorrow.” you smiled.

As soon as he left, you decided to get dressed. Checking in on d/n before you went upstairs. Getting undressed, as you were walking to your dresser you noticed the marks on your chest they turned purple. You remembered Draken's words from last night lingered in your thoughts. You couldn’t get over the way he touched your body. Snapping out of your thoughts you need something to cover your chest. Grabbing a crew neck fitted shirt that covered the indecent marks.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Draken was pulling up to his home when he saw a familiar car parked in his driveway already. Letting out a sigh. He was already dreading the encounter with his ex-wife.  Parking his car he proceeded into his home. Opening the door he saw Emma sitting at the dining room table. She instantly turned her gaze towards her ex-husband. “Emma, what are you doing here?” he asked.  

“I’ve been trying to get a hold of you. Do you not know how to answer your phone?” Emma looked over at her ex husband. 

“We haven’t spoken since the divorce you expect me to answer right away? I was busy.” he crossed his arms across his chest wondering how she got in. “How did you even get in here?” “I had a spare key, remember I used to live here?” she answered. “So where were you?” 

Raising his brow “Don’t worry about it… You don’t need to know where I’m going anymore.”

She rolled her eyes, shaking her head. “You were with ________ weren’t you..”  Draken stood quietly “I heard she was back in town... she even came by the shop and then you left with her...”

“And if I was? Is that a problem of yours?” Draken was becoming bothered. “It's really none of your business what I do.” he sighed  

She was hurt by his response. “So now that she isn't with Ran anymore you're trying to date her now or what?” 

“Emma, you need to leave.” He wasn't going to answer the question. “I need the key.” 

“Just answer the questions, Draken. It’s obvious you still have something for her…Even when we were together, I never really had your full love or we wouldn’t be divorced now…” 

“We are divorced because we couldn’t see eye to eye on stuff even the littlest things would blow up into an argument... I don't wanna argue anymore Emma.” Draken now seeing why she came over. He knew it was bound to happen sooner or later. Even when they were all younger he saw how Emma would act around you. Even if you were blinded by her action at this time it was clear to some of the mutual friends. 

When you first disappeared Emma witnessed the altercation with Draken and Ran. She could see once he found out you were gone he was trying to avoid his feelings about it. Shortly after getting engaged to Emma, they were married. It was great the first year then it started to take a turn. The disagreements would escalate and Draken would spend more time at the shop to avoid going home. 

“Of course, you're done…. Some things never change… I hope you enjoy playing daddy to her daughter.” Draken ignored the comment. Emma goes into her bag pulls the key out placing it on the table. “You know if that is Ran’s daughter he is not going to enjoy you trying to take his role...If you're doing it to please her…. I don’t know what to say but good luck.” 

She walked to the front door. He heard her car start and take off. The home was quiet as he walked to his couch laying down. Draken knew the issues that would arise if he were to start going out with you. In the end, all that mattered was him making you and d/n happy, that's all that mattered to him. Just because you had a baby with Ran didn’t mean he wasn’t gonna treat your daughter any differently. He took it as a sign things were going downhill with his marriage with Emma and now you're here. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I could have come another day…” Rin sighed trying to balance all the items in his hands. “Why the hell am I carrying the most?”

“I think it would be nice for you to see your niece since we missed her birthday yesterday…” Ran fixing his shirt “ I’m gonna knock on the door, hands can't be full.” The comment Ran spoke made Rin roll his eyes.

They were both walking up to your home. He needed to make it up to d/n and to you. You didn’t return his call. He decided to show up but not empty-handed. Ran rang the doorbell waiting to see you answer. Opening the door you saw both Haitani brothers on your front porch. “Hey beautiful” Rin looked over at his Ran smiled at you then at your serious expression. Just your stare alone at Ran. ‘I know that look,’ he thought to himself. “Hey ______ can you let us in this stuff is heavy.” 

Opening the door for them as they both enter the home. Rin made his way towards the living room. While Ran stood in front of you, he placed the items in his hand on the side table. “______ can we talk.” You didn’t want to hear anything about what you heard on the phone.“Ran… go see d/n… I don’t wanna discuss it.” you placed your hand on your hips. You were avoiding eye contact with him. “Please go see her.” 

He let out a low sigh, picking up the items on the table he walked towards the living room. The moment he saw d/n a smile appeared on his face. “Happy belated birthday princess.” He caught her attention. Bringing the rest of the presents to where Rin placed them. He scooped her up in his arms giving her a big hug. She hugged him back tightly. Still holding her “I’m sorry I missed your birthday.”

“It’s okay!” She looked at all the presents. “Are all those for me?” she asked. “Of course.” he went all out for his little one. Rin had to calm his brother down at the store because he would have bought everything there. Walking to the living room you saw him holding her  “But there is one for your mommy.” he spoke as he looked at you. 

“Ran.” you looked at him. The gift comes from guilt and a form of apology. He knew you wouldn’t refuse it as your daughter was in the same room even if you were mad at him.

He placed down the d/n and grabbed the large box. ”This is for you.” 

“Mommy opened it!” she excitedly said. 

Feeling pressure to do so you removed the lavender ribbon from the white box. Removing the top of the lid. You saw the neatly black dress. Pulling it out of the box, it was a beautiful dress. “Oh my...” 

“D/n do you think it is okay if I could take your mom to dinner so we could talk later on? Rin wants to hang out with you.” He looked over at your d/n ‘Dammit Ran.’ you squinted at him. Rin was just as surprised as you were, his brother didn’t talk about this to him at all. Just threw him in the mix. Another reason why he brought Rin along with him. You would have turned him down if you didn’t have a babysitter. “Oh yeah! Mommy you're gonna look so pretty!” d/n smiled You placed the dress back in the box. You notice the cut of the dress was deep in the front. “Shit….” you were going to have to try and cover up the dark hickeys on your breast. 

Ran returned his attention d/n “Alright let's open up your presents.” A few hours would pass, and you started to get ready. Trying to cover love marks was going to be a challenge. Ran being infamous for leaving his mark on you whenever you had to attend something you would have to cover it up. Adding the color corrector to the marks you began trying to conceal with your foundation to match your skin tone.  

 Ran and Rin were  with D/n as she was playing with the new items she gotten. Ran noticed a new stuffed animal addition that was on the couch. As he reached for it “D/n I’ve seen this one before.” “Kenny won it for me!” she smiled

Ran looked at the stuffed animal “He did now? Was it from yesterday?” “Yeah me, mommy and Kenny went to the Carnival yesterday.” Ran wouldn’t express it right now but it would be a bit bothersome hearing about Draken taking d/n and you to the carnival yesterday. Wondering if this was going to cause any problems with him trying to rebuild his life with you. ‘Isn’t he married?’  Ran thought to himself. He never paid attention to his love life. Because you were already Rans nothing else matters.  He was curious if anything else happened while at the carnival. “I’m glad you had fun.” He put a smile on.  He was going to end up asking you later on tonight. “Hey princess, why don’t you check on your mommy and see if she is finished getting ready.” 

D/n nodded and Ran to the stairs to check on you.  “Isn’t Draken married?” He looked over at Rin.

“He and what’s her name got divorced a few months back, that's what I heard from Izana.” Rindou responded. “You think he is going to try and make a move?” 

“I wouldn’t doubt it. If he knows ______ and I are not  together I wouldn’t put it past him…I will see what's going on for sure.”  Ran said with the thought of Draken even touching you was boiling him on the inside. 

The moment they both heard the sounds of heels, caught both of the Haitani brothers' attention. It’s been a moment you fully were put together having your hair and make up done. Anything he was thinking disappeared at that moment. He stood up still, eyes on you. “Mommy looks so pretty!” 

“Thank you sweetheart.” You smiled at you. 

“She does.” Ran looked at you up and down. “We should head out for the chat.”

“Right…” you said. Bending down slightly, you held onto your daughter's hands “mommy will be back soon okay?” 

“Okay mommy.” D/n smiled

“Rin, are you sure you can watch her?” You asked. Other than school and the one time your aunt watched her you hadn’t been apart from her let alone anyone watching her… 

“Yeah it’s fine…” Rin said. “I will get an understanding on why she likes watching  weird things on tv…”  looking at the program she was watching.

Ran and you got into his car and began driving to the destination. It was a quiet part of the ride when he stopped at a red light. “You still take my breath away.”

“Ran flattery is not going to work this time.” You looked at him and then out the window. He was up to something you weren’t sure what it was. Your patience for him was not this short before.

“I’m just stating a fact.” he knew you were still bothered by him missing her birthday. He felt your demeanor change a bit from normal. The charming flatters seem to go over your head. The more serious look on your face planted there.

He was hoping the place he was taking you to would ease some of the anger towards him. A place where it held special memories for you both. Following him to the familiar restaurant. You looked around ‘it still looks the same.’  A place where you celebrate your anniversary every year. Taking a seat Ran began or the same wine you always had. 

You felt your phone vibrate in your lap. Looking down you saw it was a notification from Draken, confirming if your aunt was gonna care for d/n while you both went out tomorrow. Trying to keep a poker face as much as possible.  Ran saw your eyes looking down as he asked. “Who texted you?” He asked, wondering if it was Draken.

 “It’s nothing.” You responded back before locking your phone .

“That little friend of yours I presume.” Ran spoke and didn't want to beat the bush around it. “D/n told me the three of you went to the carnival yesterday for her birthday.” 

“We did. Our plans originally got canceled, remember .”  Adjusting your posture. 

“It’s interesting she picked up the nickname Kenny for him too… how often does he come over?”

You could see where this was going by his comments. “She calls him Kenny because he didn’t like Mr. Ken, so he told her to call him Kenny .” 

“Answer the question how often is he coming over?” 

“Why do you want to know?” Asking him 

“Dammit ________, answer the question. It’s rather annoying I have to repeat myself a third time.,” he spoke in a low discreet tone. 

“He comes over every now and then. Are you happy?” You narrowed your eyes at him. “I honestly shouldn’t be answering that. Whoever I allow in my house is not a concern to you. I mean have I questioned you about who you bring to your home?” “I want to make sure and see who you're bringing around my daughter.”

“Wow okay.” You spoke in a low sardonic tone reaching for the glass of wine “I think I’m a good judge of character,” 

“Sure you are.” 

“Your sounding pretty jealous right now,”

“Well when someone tries to interfere with things I’m working on it becomes a problem to me” 

“Oh really now?” Placing the glass of wine down   “Ran darling.. don’t keep me waiting too long…want to explain that?”  Mimicking the voice of the woman you heard on the phone. “Was that a problem that needed to be handled, Ran darling?” 

He let out an annoyed sigh “it was a business meeting I had to attend too..” After that call the amount of anger he had built inside of him. Staining one of  his most expensive suits. After that phone call with you.

“Right right business meeting you tend to mix it with pleasure.” 

“You don’t know what happened, it was  just business nothing more…” 

“You're right I don’t know but hearing another woman on the other side paints a different picture.” you crossed your legs along with your arm “Whether it was business or not, you could have put it off if you wanted to. You told me how important her birthday was to you and wanted to be there to spend it with us.”

“It was important to me… you don’t understand ________ ,but Draken was there to save the day.”  he responded. “Always seemingly there.” you ignored the comment he made about him. “Did anything else happen?” 

You weren’t going to mention you and Draken sleeping together, even the confession, or the date that was tomorrow it would send Ran into this unpleasant mood along with actions he may do.  “Other than enjoying d/n birthday” you wanted this conversation to be over with. You found yourself frustrated as the conversation continued on. “Ran, I don’t wanna discuss this anymore, it's done and over with. At the end of the day, our main priority is d/n. Not the issues between you and me…Whoever you see is your business, not mine because we are not together.”

He let out a sarcastic low chuckle and he slightly shook his head. “I’m assuming you think that will apply to me as well…________  even if we are not together right now, we have a daughter. I'd be damned if I hear my daughter call someone else dad or see you with someone else.”  His tone was more possessive than his normal calmer tone. He felt like Draken would try something with you. How his gut feeling would be spot on. Unknowingly the boundaries were more different between you and Draken. “I would love to see someone try and steal you away.” Ran locked eyes with you. 

It was evident it was becoming much more than you can handle. Scooting your chair back “I’m done.. I… I can’t do this with you right now…”  Leaving the table as you made your way towards the front of the restaurant.

‘Son of a bitch...’ He thought to himself, flexing his jaw, the conversation did go overboard. Out of jealousy, he felt he could have made things worse between you both.  Getting up from his chair he followed you. “_______..” he called out to you but you didn't turn around as you made your way to the entrance. He grabbed your hand. “Ran let go”

“Look, things got a bit carried away….” the low sigh coming from him. “I’m sorry I don’t wanna fight with you, it wasn't the intention I had for tonight.” As Ran was trying to smooth things over with you. Rin caved into his niece, the counter had every condiment for a sundae out. Bags opened, jar lids opened, ice cream cartons open. He swirled the can whipped cream on the pile of ice cream. Just looking at it was giving him a toothache. When he placed the can down “is this enough?” he asked

“More please.” she pointed to a can of whip cream. “Okay then tell me when to stop okay?” He shook the can.

He proceeded to add more. It was a while before she “stop!” The majority of the ice cream was covered in whip cream.  He brought it to the dining room table. She ran to the kitchen drawer pulling two spoons out. “Here!” she handed him one. 

“Thanks.” taking a seat he watched her dig into the ice cream.  

D/n began to remember some of the small stories Ran would tell her about him and you dating.  “Mr. Rin, Mr. Ran said he knows my dad. Have you met him?” she asked. 

He had the spoon in his mouth a bit thrown off in the question. “Oh uhhh yeah I know him.”

“You do?!” “Yeah he is a pain in the ass but I know him…” 

“He is?!” her eyes widened. “Does he have a lot of pain in his butt?” she blinked in her eyes assuming her father suffered from butt pain. 

‘Shit’ he said to himself  “no not really it's just a saying…I should say your dad doesn’t like to listen to anyone. Once his mind is made up he sticks to it until he reaches his goal.”

“Oh…Did he stop when he met mommy?”

“When he met your mom it was unexpected.” he began to think back to the day both her parents met “They met at a party, your mom is known to not pay attention when walking and would bump into people. That night she bumped into your dad, and your dad ironically didn’t want to go to the party but I dragged him there. They spent the entire time at the party talking.  When it was time to go, he drove her home and eventually asked her out on a date. He told me a few years back it was the best thing that happened to him.” Rindou leaned against the table with his arms folded. “One thing about your dad, when he met your mom I never saw him truly care for anyone else the way he did with her.” He could see the smile on her face. She had a smile that resembled a Haitani. ‘You definitely are your father's daughter, that's for sure the same smile as his.’

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After agreeing to sit back down with him, the dinner was mainly quiet. Knowing tonight was just a mess for you both. Emotions were running a bit high on both ends of the table. You put your phone on silent not wanting to pick it up to have to question you more. Ran began to think about how to fix this because a part of him never wanted to show you how possessive he could be. 

Getting to your home both of you entered your home. It was quiet and the living room tv was still on but no Rin or D/n. Walking up the stairs you find Rin on the floor using some of her stuffed animals as pillows. D/n was fast asleep. “She wore him out…” you quietly said. 

“That’s my girl,” he smirked. Ran walked to the other side of her bed picking up the white stuffed rabbit that fell on the floor. He placed it next to her, covering her a bit more, kissing her forehead “Sweet dreams princess.”  He walked over to the other side of the bed, slightly kicking his brother's foot, walking him up.

Both Ran and Rin walk down the stairs to the exit. “Rin thanks for watching her”

“It's fine even if it was without my consent… But she is a good kid” Rin spoke, when he noticed there was some tension between you both. “I'm gonna wait in the car.”

Both you and Ran stood there in silence. The silence was finally broken from Ran. “I’m sorry for tonight again ____.” 

“It’s fine…” you didn’t want to leave on a bad note with him. It would just make things awkward when he comes over “Thank you for tonight I forgot how beautiful it was to be in there.” 

“I’m glad you enjoyed it to a certain extent.” “Message me tomorrow and we will set up another day for you to come over.”

He nodded that maybe a day or two apart would be the best for you both. “Of course… get some rest.” 

“You too..”  giving him a half smile.

Ran had his back towards you before he took a step, he turned back around facing you. “I almost forgot something.”

“What?” raising your brow at him. With three fingers slightly grasping your chin he brought you slightly forward. In a quick motion you felt his lips press against yours. The sudden connection of your lips connecting to one another felt like time stopped for a moment. The brief kiss only lasted a few seconds. Ran pulling back seeing the hues of pink on your cheeks he slightly smirked, “Sweet dreams to you are beautiful.” 

Closing the door quickly your back pressed against the door. Your heart was fluttering. It was like kissing him for the first time all over again. Taking off your heels you walked to turn off the tv when you noticed your kitchen light on. You realize the mess in the kitchen.

Ran walking to the car, a small grin on his lips as he hopped into the car. Rin was on his phone “We got a response.” Starting the car as he began to back up “What do they wanna do?” “Meeting online tomorrow…” 

He nodded, “we will see what happens.” still on his mind was the kiss just moments ago.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The following day,  you were at your aunt's house still thinking about the recent events with Draken and now Ran. You made your head spin slightly, you felt happy yet nervous going out with Draken today but also guilty because you were thinking about Ran. “You know if you keep making that worried face you will start aging quicker than you need.” your aunt took a seat next to you.

“Hmmm? Oh right…” it was hard not to think about it. “You think it's a good idea for me to go out with Draken?” you asked her.

“_____ that is not my call to tell you if it’s a good idea or not. If you have any doubt then you shouldn't. If not then you should.” she knew Draken since you both were younger. “Draken from what I remember he was a good kid even with the whole tattoo on the side of his head at his age. I myself don’t see any issue with going on the date.” You nodded “No harm in trying...Maybe I should try... I mean maybe I’m nervous I haven’t been on a date in years…” This felt like a whole new thing to you dating as a single mom. It makes it more interesting when you're going out on a date with an old friend that you were being fucked by a few days ago. Then you started to think about the discussion with Ran last night that made you feel like he would do something to Draken if he found out about the date. “It could be. Look I’m not too familiar with d/n father now but I know Draken. For him to take d/n out and you for her birthday was something he didn’t have to do but he chose to. If d/n likes him then I say enjoy the date.” Giving a relieved smile. d/n did enjoy hanging out with Ken too. “What time did you want me to pick up d/n?” “Let her stay the night with me, it would be like watching you all over again as a little girl.” your aunt smiled. “Enjoy your life while you are still young to do so. You never know, what if Draken was meant to be with you. You will never know unless you try.” 

Your aunt's words encouraged you throughout the day as you began to get ready for the date. Your car was being serviced at the garage earlier today and it wouldn’t be ready till tomorrow. With the doorbell ringing you felt your heart racing like you just ran a mile. Opening the door Draken was stunned by your look. Both of you getting one another he helped you into the car opening the door and closing it. During the car drive, he felt his hand rest on your inner thigh, his thumb swiping your thigh. The date consisted of places you both enjoyed growing up from your favorite place to eat to going to the beach. It was hitting you both with so much nostalgia as you both reminisced about the good old days. You found yourself holding onto his arm. It was becoming late as you agreed to go back to his home for a drink. ~~~~~~~~~~

Mrs. Yamaguchi was doing her own little digging into Ran’s personal life even having some connections in the past. With the right amount of money, someone's lips (kokonoi) would spill your full name to her.“ Excuse me, Miss. Yamaguchi, we got the information on the woman you inquired about.” 

“Thank you.” She received the paperwork from her assistant. As she was flipping through the paperwork her eyes widened. “What?!?!?” seeing a copy of a birth certificate. “A child?”  but remembered she heard the child's name before when he was on the phone. Things were starting to come to light pieces were clicking together.  “Interesting now, well it's starting to make sense.” Ms. Yamaguchi looked down at the photo of you and d/n. She began to compare herself to you, seemingly trying to find every flaw in the photo. She questioned what Ran saw in you? If she couldn’t see it then what did he actually see?  “We can confirm it's his actual daughter. It looks like they just moved here a few weeks ago… She may look like him but Ran does have a brother now they both look similar as well...” “We are just going off the birth certificate.” her assistant responded “I see… Well, she will know who I am very soon.” She smirked.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Entering his home he flicked the lights on. This was the first time you were in his home. your heart was beating so rapidly.  “You don’t have to stand by the doorway, come on in.” he was walking to the kitchen. You walked into his home more seeing his decor. It did change slightly from the last time you saw his room in the brothel where he used to live. You saw a photo of him and Mikey on the wall from when they were younger. ‘How young they were..’ you smiled 

Draken appeared from the kitchen in his hands were two beers walking towards you. “Here.” 

“Oh, thanks. I was just looking and seeing how young you and Mikey were in this photo. How is Mikey doing?” handing a beer to you. 

“He is okay, living his life. He is at the shop every other day.” 

You nodded “Even after the divorce with Emma you both are friends?” asking him

“We are, I think he knew when things weren't working out but he didn’t say anything. Mikey caught onto a lot of things.”

Both of you sat down on the couch. You leaned on his shoulder “Hey Ken…”

“Yea?” he asked. 

“You know we hung out everyday even had moments of being alone together when we were younger. Why didn’t you tell me?” asking him. 

“It wasn’t that easy ya know.  After being friends for so long, I didn’t want to mess anything up between us back then. I was close a few times…. If I could be perfectly honest with you this time?.”  

“Sure.” tilting your head up and looking at him. “I didn’t expect you to date Ran for so long. I knew Ran's reputation with the women back then and I did worry about what it might do to you if he broke your heart. I would be there to pick up the pieces. Time kept going till that day you just disappeared…”  Draken stood quiet for a moment.

“I remember hearing the stories about the girls he was with… It wasn’t always easy to digest some of the things I heard or mentioned I was just a number like the rest…He would tell me to ignore them but it was hard not to listen to them and their experiences with him. Even when he wasn’t around, in the beginning, I was referred to as his new little toy... I honestly was waiting for him to tell me early in the relationship it wasn’t working out…” you looked down at your beer. “Since we were being honest with one another back then when Emma told me she was in love with you I kinda stepped aside maybe because it was Mikey’s little sister and I didn’t want issues to happen since you and Mikey were close… the feelings were mutual back then not just one side… I just thought whenever Emma was around you seemed happier. You just saw me as a friend or like a sister. I thought she really made you happy.” 

“Funny how life works doesn’t it? Just being with you makes my day.”

You chuckled at his comment, leaning off his shoulder you gave him a light push on his arm. He reached for your hand before you could return it back to you. He brought you closer to him and he placed his beer down. In the instant when we locked eyes, you could see the mischievous look in his eyes. His hand traveling to your hip pulling you closer he began to lean back bringing you on top of him. 

“Do you have to pick up d/n soon?” he asked in a hushed tone. 

“My aunt wanted to keep her tonight. She said, " I have to learn to socialize with other adults better, that’s what she told me...” 

“So you're available then?” flashing a small grin on his lips. “A whole night to yourself? I wonder what you will do?” the slight taunting as his hand slides  underneath the back of your shirt slightly. 

Softly chuckling as you leaned in, pressing your lips against his lightly “I think we can figure something.”

Letting out a content sigh. It would be evident you would be staying the night at his home. It started to get hot and heavy. The clothing trail that leads to the bedroom. Draken sitting on the edge of the bed. His cock was already stiff, he was trying to hold his composure in but having your lips wrapped around his cock drove him wild. “Hnnghnngg~.. Fuckk~.. Ahhhh~" Behind your long thick lashes you look up at him. “You're sucking me off so good.” grunting as he continued to watch you. No one ever sucked his cock this good before, his mind becoming hazy. He never knew hunger until he got a taste of you the first time.  “_________.” You slowed down your lips still around his cock. “I’m not gonna last much longer the way you keep sucking me off.” As your lips unwrapped around his cock “Lay back Ken.” He didn’t argue laying on the middle of the bed, his hand reaching for his cock stroking it until you straddled on top of him. You were in the reverse cowgirl position. Deciding to tease him slightly you began to grind against his cock. His cock goes between your folds as you slide back and forth. You teasing him this way was also giving you pleasure. You slightly moaned, your hands were behind you against his abs. “I'm gonna cum just by doing this~~~~~.” biting your lower lip.  You heard a groan coming from Draken, his cock is coated with your saliva and juices, lifting yourself up slightly with your hand wrapped around his cock you slowly slid yourself inside of you just like the first time you had to adjust to his tumescent size cock in your tight cunt. Both of your feet were on the outer side of Draken's thighs  You began to move up and down slightly doing a circular motion, tossing your head back slightly. 

“Haah... Uugh.. Aaah~~” Draken was muttering, as you continued to ride his cock. You felt your orgasm coming in as you began to grind against him, stimulating your clit against him. Your painting was becoming more known to him. “Cum for me ______. I want you to cum all over my cock like a good girl. You're a good girl aren’t you?” 

“Y-yes I’m a good girl Draken~~” you whimper. His hands reaching around his fingers coated with his saliva as he began to play with your clit more. “I’m coming.” you squeezed your eyes shut. “Draken, I’m coming~~~!” And with that sudden exclamation, your body tensed up, he could feel your clenching around his cock, your back arching from your sudden release, and your body felt light then grew heavy.  

Draken brings your bare back against his chest, the back of your knees draped over his. His cock began to thrust upwards into your cunt as you were still coming down from your high. He could feel your juices seeping from your cunt as his larger fingers still toying with your sensitive clit. Your head leaned against his shoulder you could hear his groan mixture of curse words spilling from his mouth. “You are so fucking wet ______. You feel so good clenching on my cock.” His free hand turns your head towards him. His lips latched onto yours before his lips met with your neck leaving a little gift behind.

“You're gonna make me cum again~~,” you whined as the climax was already brewing inside of you once. Your legs began to close on his hands which were still stimulating your clit. Panting a bit hard the tension of your body was taking over. “I want you to cum for me again,” he spoke in a husky voice looking at you as he was picking up the pack and how slippery your cunt was only sending him over the edge. “Cum for me ______.” he groaned.  A set of moans escapes your lips as you're close to an orgasm. Squirming, your cunt clenches as your hips and thighs shake, you struggle to keep my eyes open. Just the sight of you sent Draken into a frenzy thrusting motion. The sudden release inside your pussy sent you both into an orgasmic bliss.

~~~~~~~~

Ran drove to your home at about 11:30 pm. He couldn’t stop thinking about you. Just the kiss he stole yesterday was on his mind all day. He wanted you and he needed to show you how much he missed you. When getting to your home he didn’t see your car. “Where is she?” he said out loud. 

Staying in his car, he called your phone. No pick up….Ran began to wonder where you left and where you took his daughter. As it went to your voicemail “Hey doll, I just pulled up to the house and you're not home? Where are you and D/n at? Give me a call when you get this.” he hung up the phone. He waited for about 30 mins thinking you were going to come home anytime with a sleeping d/n in the back seat but your car didn’t appear. Ran was already starting to get something off now. Ran drove back to the club; his demeanor was more serious. When Rin saw him he wasn’t good. Thinking that he and you may have had an argument. His brother is going into the office. A few seconds later, Ran lit a cigarette walking to the small bar they had in their office. Pouring a drink Rin saw a cloud of smoke then his brother spoke “He is a dead man…I’m gonna kill that son of a bitch.”

To be continued.....

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[green-eyedfirework]

The first key to successful undercover work is to believe you aren’t undercover.  To truly inhabit the persona you came up with, to reach for that instead of anything else when scared or angry.  To think of real life as a particularly lucid dream instead of reality.

After half a year undercover, Dick thinks he’s pretty much got the hang of it.  It helps that the cover is so close to a reality that-could've-been--sent to juvie after his parents were murdered, ran away from his foster family after presenting as omega, on the fringes of society, wandered to Bludhaven and ended up getting in after Wilson's First Son spotted him while bartending and offered him a better job.

Also helpful that the circus never kept actual records, Dick was marked down as 'John Doe' in juvie because he refused to speak to them, and Bruce created his legal identity practically out of thin air, so there are only a handful of people that know the name Dick Grayson in the first place.  A combination of boarding school out-of-state and distance from his rich, reclusive foster father meant that he has very little of an online social presence, which of course, makes Detective Richie Wayne a great candidate for a long-term undercover job with the Wilson Mob.

The other key to successful undercover work is to develop a finely honed sense of paranoia, and right now, all of Dick's detectors are on screaming alert.

"What?" he said, staring at Wintergreen's unsmiling face.  Usually he didn't question his orders, but usually he wasn't ordered to accompany Slade Wilson to an unspecified meeting.

Every time he was in touch with his handlers, he had to tell them that Wilson was both suspicious and not stupid, it was going to take time for Dick to get close to him, but Bludhaven PD was not known for its patience.

"I said, your job tonight will be accompanying Slade as his personal guard to a dinner meeting," Wintergreen repeated, looking annoyed.

"Why me?" Dick asked, unable to fully suppress the anxiety.  Luckily, he was expected to be anxious--Dick hadn't made himself out to be ambitious and he hadn't interacted much with the elder Wilson at all.

"He requested you personally.  I didn't care enough to ask why."

"Calm down, Dickie, my dad doesn't bite," Grant snickered, his arm casually looped around Dick's shoulders.  "I've told him how well you performed on the Bulgari job, maybe he just wants to see for himself."

Dick turned to give Grant a tremulous smile and wished it was that simple.  But Dick had felt Slade Wilson's eye following him around on more than one occasion, lingering on him when Grant made his reports, and giving him casual once-overs that Dick had no trouble recognizing.

The real reason Detective Richie Wayne was sent for this undercover mission--the department had few omega police officers, and fewer that corresponded to Slade Wilson's reported tastes.  Of course, they couldn't outright come out and tell him to prostitute himself to the East Coast's biggest mob boss to get them intel, but Dick wasn't naive.  The 'hints' had starting becoming more explicit as his handler got increasingly impatient.

And now the opportunity had landed in Dick's lap.

"That makes sense," Dick said, suppressing the tight ball of dread and shoving it down.  "I won't disappoint Mr. Wilson."

Grant scoffed at the thought and dragged Dick out to head to dinner.  Wintergreen didn't say anything, just continued to stare at Dick with that unnerving gaze until Dick was out of his office.

Dick, for his part, tried to remember how to breathe.

[wlntrsldler]

dare i ask what lukes reaction would be to five star trying to break up with him because of the hate from his fans 😆 i love angst

well.... the angst monster got all of us in a chokehold i guess because i ran to my laptop to answer this ask!

i think five star would try to break up with luke a few months after luke told the world about their relationship (after that ellen-esque interview i referenced in this ask). i imagine it's over summer break and five star and clar are spending the break touring with the band. and luke notices that five star is acting strangely distant with him.

like i'm talking you kissed him (a peck which left luke pretty sad) once when he picked you up from the airport and gave him a side hug and chose to sit in the backseat with clarisse instead of sitting shotgun next to him (which also ticked chris off a little bit because he wanted to spend time with his girlfriend, but you didn't want to leave clar's side)

and when you get to the hotel that they're staying at, luke is trying to talk to you and kiss you because he just missed you so much. but you keep saying that the flight got you so tired and you just want to sleep. and luke doesn't wanna push you so he lets you sleep. he tries to keep himself busy, watching videos on his phone while he's sitting on the couch (with his airpods in of course, he didn't want to wake you) but then his airpods die and he hears this weird notification on your phone. so he looks just because he's curious and he sees that you had notifications on for google flight trackers and you're looking up one way flights to go home two days from today...?

his heart sinks to his stomach because why were you already looking at flights to leave? you just got here. did you not want to spend summer with him anymore? he was really looking forward to spending his days with you, like how it used to be back at camp. and he just kind of spirals a little bit.

he leaves the hotel room and marches over to chris' room because he really needed to talk to his best friend. he would ask you and talk to you but he didn't want to wake you because what if he was just in his head and you really were just tired? so he knocks on chris' door and chris (annoyed) tells him to go away and luke cringes because he realizes that clarisse is there and if you and him were on better terms, he would probably also not open the door for anyone.

so he goes back to his room only to realize that he locked himself out. he sits outside and keeps watching his little videos until his phone dies to try to distract himself from going crazy and he dozes off leaning on the door. when you wake up in the middle of the night to go use the bathroom and you realize you're alone in the room, you're immediately grabbing your wallet and keys to look for luke because it's not like him to disappear without telling you.

turns out, you didn't have to look too far because the minute you open the door, luke falls to the ground with a soft 'ow' and he looks at you apologetically for waking you. and it makes your heart crumble because he was so cute and sweet and you've been such a bitch to him since you got there.

you tell him to get up and let him in the room and he's timid and worried and anxious because it feels like the other shoe is about to drop. and when it does, you're sitting on the foot of the bed you're supposed to share and you're crying and luke feels torn because he wants to kiss your tears away but you're literally breaking up with him.

and by the time you finish your sentence, it feels like luke's heart was pierced by an arrow and all he can say is "what did i do?"

goddamn luke castellan. of course his first instinct is to assume that he wasn't enough and your heart constricts in your chest and then you're sobbing about how much it hurts seeing what people said about you online and it's starting to feel like you'll never be enough for him.

the minute those words leave your lips, luke's eyes are all watery and he's kinda laughing, not because he doesn't think the situation wasn't serious but because he just can't believe that you still don't get how much he loves you. when you hear him laughing, you're looking at him all confused (and a little hurt that he's joking about this) and he instantly grabs your face in your hands and kisses you the way he's been wanting to kiss you since you got here.

the kiss is messy and there's so much tears involved but when he finally pulls away, he's mumbling things you can't comprehend because the kiss left you breathless and dizzy and cursing at yourself for even thinking about letting this go.

and luke is calling you five star like he always does and makes some dramatic declaration about how if you tried to break up with him again, he'd probably die of heartbreak and you'd tell him he's being dramatic but he's soooo serious.

he'll kiss you over and over and just sigh in your mouth about how much he missed you and all you can do is cling to him (but he's not complaining because if he had it his way, he would stay glued to you forever) and you spend the night in luke's arms telling him about everything that's been building up and he listens until you're out of words.

at their next show, the band debuts an unreleased song (which gets pirated and uploaded as a podcast episode on spotify) called 17 (by pink sweat$) and while the crowd is cheering for them, he looks to the side of the stage and blows you a kiss.

[djarins-cyare]

So it’s been a year…

One year since Disney released episode 1 season 3 of The Mandalorian

One year since I published chapter 1 of Be-All And Endor

I don’t really remember much of the first 20 weeks of that year, just that it was a flurry of proofreading and finalising and uploading (the hard parts) and comment reading and new friend making and massively appreciating (the wonderful parts).

Proofing and publishing 2 chapters a week with average lengths of around 10k words was exhausting. But for the first 8 of those weeks I had Din Djarin on the screen (intermittently *ahem* but this isn’t a post about the quality of s3) and for the rest of the year I had my readers leaving comments and sending messages, and it was… overwhelmingly the best year of my life.

I mean that. The best year. Ever. Because of you. Any of you, all of you, if you’ve ever even just clicked on my fic and given it chance, you’ve raised the hits on it. Even seeing that metric tick up has made me so thankful.

Because I didn’t think I could write. I always wanted to be an author but never believed in myself.

I did an English degree with writing in mind, but told myself nobody ever does anything with an English degree. I took creative writing modules, and when the published author who ran the class gave me scathing feedback, my dream fully died. I got an okay grade, hardly anything to be proud of, and I graduated and went to work in another industry.

I suffered from clinical depression.

One day many years later, I found a favourite author online and messaged him to ask when his fourth novel in a series was being published, and (emboldened by the anonymity of being online) cheekily offered to proofread it for him. Except he took me seriously and sent me the prologue to see what I could do. Like, for a real book you can buy on Amazon. After feeling sick for two whole days I went all Autistic Obsession on it and sent him back the most thoroughly proofed bit of writing anyone had ever seen. And I got the job. (I say ‘job’, I’d volunteered for free in exchange for the privilege of reading it in advance, so I can only ever call it semi-professional since I didn’t earn from it).

This, amongst other things, lifted me from my depression. I came off the pills and felt happier, more creative. Once the proofing was completed, the author encouraged me to write my own stuff, but whilst I’d gained some confidence… my brain was empty. I had no clamouring stories to get down on the page, no gems ready to polish.

Then in summer 2021, a friend sat me down and showed me the first 3 episodes of the Mandalorian. And my brain chemistry was instantly altered. I binge-watched the first two seasons, by the end of which I was unequivocally in love with Din Djarin, and then I binge-watched them again.

Around that time, I moved to a different country. Well, Wales is still the UK, but it’s a different country to England, and I was now 170 miles away from my friends. I went because as a single woman on a middling salary, London is too expensive to live in and having rid myself of an overbearing long term relationship, I was NOT keen to get into another one just to pay the bills. The pandemic meant I could work remotely, so I upped sticks and moved to Cardiff, resolving to visit my office in London (and my friends) once a month. It’s 2 hours by train, totally doable.

So what to do with all the spare time I suddenly had?

By Easter 2022 I’d started writing. 9 months later (yes, it’s my actual baby), Be-All And Endor was complete and I began publishing alongside season 3’s release.

Now… it has over 62.k views and 1.2k kudos 🥹🤯

Did I think it would be this popular? No way. I can’t even believe it now. I still see SO much wrong with it, which is why I’m still proofreading and editing it.

A professional proofread/edit takes a long time, and if you’re wondering what I’m doing to it, it involves the following:

Checking for things like clichés, non-inclusive language

Checking all adverbs to see if a better word can be used (e.g. ‘bellows’ instead of ‘shouts loudly’… adverbs usually end in -ly and it’s not good to overuse them)

Rephrasing any passive sentences (simply put: ‘the ship is flown by Din’ is passive; ‘Din flies the ship’ is active)

Reducing average sentence length (shorter sentences are easier to read)

Going through every single damn polysyllabic word (e.g. anything that has more than 3-syllables) and seeing if a shorter synonym can be found (this helps the rhythm, as too many long words slows things down and can make readers stumble… and I use them a lot 😖)

Checking the 50 most frequently used words and seeing if I can find synonyms for those (helps give more variety in the language)

Ensuring Din’s name isn’t overused or underused, and adding epithets (e.g. ‘the hunter’ or ‘your Mandalorian’) where it’s overused but it’s too confusing to just say ‘he’/‘him’

These are the big things, but there’s more too - I’m streamlining decisions I made to use certain phrasings throughout; tweaking Din’s word choice here and there to ensure his voice is captured the best way possible; revamping some of the photos. And with all the tiny tweaks, it’s slowly padding things out too… when publishing was done it was 393k, now it’s 403k, although it’s not extra content as such, just better described.

I’m up to chapter 13 so far, and I’ll probably be doing this for another 2 years to get through all 40, because (a) I want to write other things too so that slows down the proofing, and (b) I so badly want to be proud of this project… everyone’s telling me I should be, and I am in a way… but it’s more gratitude to others than pride in myself… and I feel like if I get this proofing done and finally have a story I’m truly happy with, I can at last let myself be proud of what I achieved here.

I confess, I’m so envious of those who can post something without obsessing over it. I know it’s a facet of my autism, and I’ve long since accepted that my neurodivergent brain will not let me be cool about things other people are cool about. If I’ve learned anything, it’s that I should turn it to my advantage, so okay… I’m gonna make this fic the same quality as a published book on your bookshelf. And meanwhile I’m gonna enjoy and love all the fics that people can write and publish with far greater speed than I can, because the greatest thing about this fandom is that every contribution is worthy of appreciation, no matter the author’s experience or writing method. Quality fic isn’t synonymous with proofreading, and I hope it’s clear that I’m describing my obsession with perfecting my own writing, not other people’s. I’ve read so many amazing authors on here, and I want them all to know how much I love their work (any recs are from the bottom of my heart).

So anyway, this long and rambling post has turned into something unintended… I guess you now have some insight into my mind and the origins of Be-All And Endor and the future of it. Not what I meant to do, but I’ll leave it in for context.

Because the real reason I started writing this diatribe was because I wanted to express my true and undying gratitude to everyone who has ever read, commented, or left kudos on my fic over on AO3, and/or messaged me, followed me, interacted with me, or reblogged my masterlist here on tumblr 🧡💚

I know I am insanely lucky to have received the level of support I have, and I don’t take that for granted at all. I want to give back to this fandom, and I love reading and reccing other people’s fics, meeting new moots, and hopefully soon I’ll be publishing new fics for you all to read too. Fresh material is percolating, so it won’t be too long now.

So thank you to everyone who reads this post, you’re the absolute best and I love you more than I have the vocabulary to describe. Please accept a grateful forehead kiss instead 💋

[ranposgirlboss]

~late night car drives with bsd charas~

this is an idea i got while listening to depressing vocaliod songs, SO HERE WE ARE!!! these are just some hc i have about how it would go, some charas are COMPLETELY platonic!! (this is mostly platonic in the 1st place tbh) this is my first time writing on this app, and i haven't written anything online in a few years, so if the formatting is weird, PLEASE TELL ME IDK WHAT IM DOIMNHG

chara list: dazai, chuuya, poe, ranpo, and yosano

GENRE: fluff fluff fluff and sillies

enjoy!!

-----------------------------

DAZAI

-HESSS DEEEEEFFF THE TYPE TO BRING YOU ON LATE-NIGHT DRIVES!!!!!

-he would probably be going to some weird ass convenience store with you at ungodly hours in the morning 💀

-HE EITHER SINGS THE MOST DEPRESSING SONGS OR THE MOST UPBEAT SILLY SONGS THERE IS LITERALLY NO IN BETWEEN

-i feel like he would mess with you and fucking drift the car when yall turn

-lets just say you get close to dying more then once 😁

-one time when yall tried to sneak out, kunikida caught yalls asses (your ears still hurt to this day from the mouthing off you got from kunikida)

-all in all, VERY FUN TO GO OUT WITH!!! WOULD RECOMMEND IF YOU WANT CHAOS!!!! OR IF YOU LIKE ALMOST DYING 10 TIMES IN 30 MINS <3333

CHUUYA

-ok so i know i said late night CAR rides BUT CMON WHO DOESNT WANNA RIDE A COOL ASS MOTORCYCLE WITH CHUUYA!??!?!?/1

-mf has HORRIBLE ROAD RAGE!!!

-i hc that when chuuya gets really pissed and the person is super rude to him, he fucking makes their car float...LIKE FULL ON 😭

-AND THEN HELL MAKE THEM SAY SORRY

-but other then his road rage, its honestly pretty chill

-i know that he has a BANGER playlist, I JUST KNOW IT

-i fell like he'd also play around on the motorcycle a bit, BUT AT LEAST HE WOULDNT NEARLY KILL YOU UNLIKE DAZAI (눈‸눈)

-id say its pretty nice and balanced, with enough calmness to make it enjoyable for the most part, but enough thrill to keep asking him to take you out <33

RANPO

-just gonna let you know right off the bat, his ass is NOT driving 😂

-there is a high chance that he JUST woke up and started banging on your door because he had cravings and well, he ran out of his snacks...so OBVIOUSLY he had to bang on your door, its important!!!

-and even if he was completely awake...he would get yall lost so fast

-so you were driving him

-honestly? its kinda funny to see groggy ranpo walk around and try to grab what snack he wants at the convenience store when he's barely awake

-bro literally drops the bag like 5 times (you picked it up all 5 bc you kinda pitied him rn 😭)

-he basically ends up sleep walking his ass outta there

-the ride is mostly quiet, mainly because ranpo falls asleep on the way back

-imagine if you played heavy metal and woke him up

POE

-HE WOULD DRIVE WITH YOU FREQUENTLY, DUE TO HIM BEING A NIGHT OWL

-these car rides would be so peaceful

-ngl he would probably sometimes take you out just to drive with you (its not like gas is a problem for him anyways 😭)

-HE HAS SUCH A GOOD PLAYLIST OF SONGS TO JUST SIT THERE AND DAYDREAM TO

-doesnt seem like a talker tbh, he might ask you if you want to go anywhere specific, but you guys mostly just listen to music together (he saves the story telling for another time <3)

-I FEEL LIKE HE WOULD MAKE A PLAYLIST THAT LIKE KIND OF HAS A STORY LINE SO IT WOULD BE SO FUN TO DAYDREAM TO THE SONGS CUZ YOU COULD CREATE YOUR OWN STORY TO THEM

-you hold karl in your lap and pet him like you're an evil villain (cannon)

-very calming and relaxing drive <33

YOSANO

-UGH IM SO GAY FOR HER

-ngl she kinda gives dazai vibes, in terms of playlist

-there has been more than one occasion when she just drunk-drove you

-LUCKILY YALL DONT DIE??!?!?!??! HOLY FUCK

-shes a small talker, OR A GOSSIPER WHILE YALL DRIVE

-yall just have so much fun talking about the ada and everything that's going on there <333

-would scream the lyrics to any 2010's throwback song, while having a (hopefully) safe dance party

-very fun to be around, and even though she drunk drives, shes def safer then dazai

-----------------------

THANK YOU FOR READING THIS!!!! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*.✧

PLEASE SEND ME REQS I BEG OF YOU

[partywithgyu]

SHE HAS A HORNY DOLL AT HOME.

Choi Soobin Smut.

dom!reader x sub!soobin.

content signs: dollification, mommy kink, very horny, slight public I guess, use of term malewife.

requested / idea by: @whatudowhennooneseesyou

☆

"Soobin you're my fucking malewife."

You had returned home with something on your mind, Soobin could tell.

You pushed the main door shut behind you before taking a seat right in the middle of the couch. Placing your bag and a shopping bag beside you, you leaned back. "Hi hun. I thought you would be a late. You'll have to wait for food. I just ordered it. Any guess what it is?," said the pretty boy who was rearranging the book shelf for some reason.

Then you called him a malewife.

Soobin was dumbfounded. Was it an insult? Did you mean that you were blessed to have him? Did it mean that you want to fuck him? He looked at you. It was hot the way your shirt wrapped your body and you formal skirt was ridding up your thigh. He had the urges to glance at whatever is under. The hottest thing at the moment was how you were eye fucking him already.

"Drop that book and come here. Don't you want to get fucked by mommy?"

Desperately he came and sat beside you. Your hand ran over his face. His eyes to your lips. Kiss him already. Not so soon though. "I gotta make my doll pretty first, right?"

Pulling out a lipstick from the MAC bag next to you, you straddled his lap. The feeling of you moving against clothed bulge made his eyes close and a hushed sound of pleasure leave his parted lips. "no no. We have to stay still," you said while completely failing to do so. You were grinding on him and your fingers tapped over his cheekbones, spreading the blush.

"Ca- Can I touch you?" he asked as if his hands weren't already heading to your boobs.

"Yes. Fuck. I spoil you too much."

"Put in my mouth. Please. Mommy."

"Not until we get that gloss on your lips."

The swaying stopped and pretty boy whined. He was unable to form a proper sentence even. His mind was fuzzy. He was desperate. He was so deep into the subspace. You still took your time to apply the gloss on his lips and highlighter on his face. Tonight he had to be a doll.

"Soobin you are so fucking pretty."

"Just fuck me then. I mean. Please fuck me. I want to-mommy use me."

You pressed your lips against his. "Dont whine baby. What does my baby want? I am going to ride my pretty doll now, okay? Lay down."

Soobin moaned when your hand ran up and down his free dick. It was already sticky. "So hot. ah. Mommy. Start riding," whines the doll as you sat on his dick. It was quick and desperate the way both of you moved next. Like a race to pleasure. Both of you were on the same team. The huge doll moved his hips up and down and whined as if you two were the only ones in the world. Until the doorbell rang.

"Fuck the food," you said. "Soobin let go, Ill go get it." Could he even hear you? A few more strokes and his fluids were already coating your insides. You had to get up and pull your skirt down, adjust your bra,close you buttons and rush to the door.

"Hi. Sorry to keep you waiting."

"Not a problem, miss."

Was that mid twenties guy looking you up and down or were you overthinking? You took the bag from his hands. "How much do I pay?," you asked, already feeling white fluid making its way down your inner thigh.

"Its paid for online already," the guy said.

"Of course it is," you said not having it in you to make eye contact. Especially when the sound of Soobin's moan reached your ears.

"Thank you for the food. Have the good night."

"You too, miss."

Oh. You were going to. Door was closed, food on table and Soobin was coming once again. White fluid was running down your leg.

Soobin knew what was coming when he saw you strip like you did. Was it even normal how horny you made him?

"What was that?"

"I was just letting him know that you are fucking me. You already have a doll. I am your doll. Touch me again."

"Lets put your shameless mouth to some good use. Get ready to have that lipstick all over your face."

[bitchslapblastoids]

"i definitely don't think someone is morally reprehensible because they....posted about sex on their....own twitter account? "

i dont either! :) i do it all the time. maybe if you actually looked into what i told u and u saw the multiple teens who showed proof of berry talking about smut with them one on one we'd be on the same page? or are all of us here incapable of hearing something that challenges a topic we feel personally touched by for some reason??

rps spaces should never be safe spaces for people who cannot act appropriately to minors. i feel like we should all know this by now? but i'm "salty" for believing what has been shown and admitted to. why are we defending someone like that hm?

I really don’t feel great about having this conversation about a specific user on such a public platform, so I do wish you would just dm me tbh. But I also don’t want you to feel like I’m dodging or cherry picking your points.

I have made it clear every time I’ve spoken on this that I do not think it is okay for adults to be directly engaging with teens about sexual content. In everything I have seen about this specific situation, I haven’t once seen anything about this user directly talking to minors about smut. If true, that is certainly not okay. But I did just go scan through twitter again, because obviously this isn’t something I want to be talking out of my ass about, and I couldn’t find anything that aligns with what you are describing. If I’m mistaken, I will eat my words for mischaracterizing this situation and I sincerely apologize.

I will maintain that how I saw the situation play out, it was first a mad rush to “protect Dan and Phil and don’t scare them off again by talking about sex” with all the typical rhetoric of that argument, which, okay. And then it seemed like people tried to retroactively up the stakes, which is when what I saw as a bad-faith argument was introduced, which was the implication that this user was deliberately putting explicit content in front of young people, behaving as a groomer, etc. And then people ran with that.

I agree that rps spaces shouldn’t be safe spaces for people to act inappropriately towards minors. I would hope nothing I have said implies that I think that kind of direct interaction would be okay. But I don’t think a person online should be held responsible for tracking their own audience’s age demographics nor tailoring their content for an all-ages audience.

And to be frank at the risk of being misconstrued, I don’t think minors simply following accounts that talk about sex is actually all that scary? Many teens engage with sex irl, and they engage with sexual content online. That’s just a fact. I don’t think they should be encountering sexual content unknowingly, and I don’t think adults should be engaging with them sexually, obviously. But I don’t think them reading it on their own terms (which I’d say following an 18+ account is) is particularly problematic. If I were to find that problematic, I think it’d be hypocritical of me to support d&p, for reasons I’ve already explained. Hopefully I articulated that well enough, as I know that can be a controversial opinion. I hope we can put this to rest and that if you’d like to continue talking, you message me?

[ericdeggans]

When your job is explaining race and media, what happens when you find a situation you don't want to explain?

That moment came for me this week, as memes were rocketing around social media connected to the brawl in Montgomery, Ala., where a crowd of mostly-Black bystanders ran to help a Black ferry co-captain who was being assaulted by a group of white men.

Video filmed by a group of mostly-Black bystanders on a nearby boat captured it all: The co-captain throwing his hat in the air, once a white man pushed him harshly; an older Black man whaling on people with a folding chair, including a white woman who was just sitting on the ground by then; a young Black man on a boat close by who jumped into the water and swam with amazing speed to the scene, jumping up to throw hands.

And, in moments, Black Twitter jumped to life (I know he’s renamed it X, but we ain’t recognizing that, and the term refers to people being Black across social media anyway. Harrumph).

There was the quiz asking which folding chair are you? There was the graphic pointing out that an early version of the folding chair was invented by a Black man (seems to be true). The photoshopped picture showing glowing rings around Black folks rushing into the fight, mimicking the climax of Avengers Endgame, where superheroes rushed in to save the day. Images dubbing the young swimmer Black Aquaman, Aquamayne and Blaquaman.

And two of my personal faves: A photoshopped image of the Martin Luther King Jr. statue holding a folding chair. And a version of the brawl video remade as the opening to classic Black sitcom Good Times, with acerbic credits noting the show was “created by Consequences and Repercussions.”

I was blown away by how quickly Black folks across social media were converting horror over a narrowly averted, racialized beat down into funny memes celebrating the reflex of Black folks to stand up for one another, especially when we’re faced with danger from white people.

But when I posted the photo of MLK’s status with the folding chair on my social media feeds, I just added one word: Wow.

I wanted the image to speak for itself. And I wanted people who had questions about what it meant to jump into social media and find out for themselves. I felt the image and its implied humor – that the nation’s most revered civil rights leader might be hoisting a folding chair to defend Black folks in the modern age – was most powerful when not explained.

Unfortunately, some people on my social media platforms insisted on an explanation. One was pretty persistent about it. And I realized I just didn’t want to explain the image, for some reason I couldn’t quite put my finger on.

Yeah, it’s sometimes tiring to always be asked to explain your cultural nuances to the world. But that’s the gig I signed up for, many years ago. And yes, the joking was hiding a fear that today’s climate has left racists emboldened enough to attack a Black man in broad daylight for doing his job. So explaining only resurfaces those darker feelings in ways I wasn’t quite ready to process.

Still, something else was also at play. I always say social media is often like a giant dinner party, where people forget they are sometimes listening in on conversations between other people. In this case, being asked to explain the folding chair memes felt like having someone barge into an ongoing conversation to ask for an explanation. This was a moment where Black folks could be hilariously Black online and we could all share that moment together, laughing and consoling each other in one viral, social media moment.

Sometimes, in situations like that, understanding comes best by sitting back, listening widely and learning. Even for me.

I don’t know if this reaction is fair – especially given how much I’ve encouraged discussion about race over the years. But its all I have left, in a world where I increasingly feel like a frog in pot of steadily heating water, wondering when the heat will begin to burn me, my loved ones, my family, my friends and my people.

[banamine-bananime]

the forum werewolf game ever. of all time.

do you remember playing werewolf/mafia in school or at a party? the game where a few people are secretly assigned werewolf roles, each night they kill someone from the village, and each day everyone lets the mob mentality accusations fly as village tries to vote out the wolves? well, you can find communities online playing absolutely wild tricked-out role-madness elaborately-themed-with-long-writeups-and-plots versions and it's wonderful.

so a few years ago some friends and i ran a Red vs Blue theme game, mostly with friends who were not familiar with the series. we knew it was going to be a wild time but there was nothing that could have prepared us for exactly how it went down.

you see, no one knows each others' roles (the character, their affiliation, and any special abilities) in werewolf except for the wolves knowing each other. somehow, despite this and most of the players not knowing the source material, they were fucking possessed by the spirits of their roles - this is the only explanation i can find for what happened - and things got Immensely Silly. we were watching in mod chat going INSANE.

please, join me as i try to recount our crowdsourced improvisational RvB fanfiction.

so, to set the scene: the introduction

and a basic recount of the rules and mechanics of werewolf in general and this game in particular:

Each player gets assigned a role and are either village or a wolf (or sometimes, a third party). Villagers do not know each other, but wolves all share a group private message to strategize together (thus this is a game of a side with numbers advantage versus a side with information advantage)

Villagers win by eliminating all wolves, wolves win by eliminating/killing all villagers (although the game ends at the point when villagers wouldn't be able to prevent this, i.e. when there are fewer villagers than wolves). Third parties with unique win conditions may also be in a game.

During day phases, each player votes for who to eliminate, and the "winner" dies (note: in this community we use "yeet" for eliminate because it's silly and because the traditional forum werewolf term is "lynch" which like. we're not gonna say that.)

During night phases, wolves choose someone to kill, and any players that were given "powers roles/PRs" with actions they can perform at night can act (e.g. protecting someone so they will not die if wolves target them)

(specific to this game) Each player is assigned to red team or blue team. Reds can only vote to eliminate blues and vice versa (no teamkilling during the day!)

(specific to this game) The first day of the game will be Team Captain selection instead of an elimination. You may only vote for players on your own team.

(specific to this game) Unless otherwise noted, night actions can only be used on members of your team.

(specific to this game) You are each allowed to open one private message thread with a player of your choice on your team.

along with this introduction to the public thread where people try to convince each other of who to eliminate, each player gets their private role message thread. these roles were:

Village:

Church, blue team treestump ("Your main motivation has been to save Tex because of your history, but deep down you know that you'd lay down your life for any of the Blood Gulch Crew. Upon your death, rather than joining the rest of the dead, you will still be allowed to converse with the living on the game thread.")

Sarge, red team tinkerer ("On odd nights, you can create an item and send it to a member of your team. Item functions are subject to mod approval, so get creative! Just remember, violence is always the answer!")

Tex, blue team tracker/oneshot vigilante ("On even nights you can track a player on either team. Once during the game, you can choose to shoot first and ask questions later, killing your target instead of tracking them.")

Simmons, red team back-up ("Enthusiasm is not unrewarded in the military and you've worked your way up Sarge's colon and are the Red Team's second in command. Its clear that this job is not for you because you tend to lose your cool and break down at the slightest psychological provocation. You have no assigned ability at this time, and will inherit the ability of whoever is elected Red Team Captain.")

Tucker, blue team back-up ("If anyone can pick up chicks in a tank, its you! The war itself doesn't bother you, because you'll find any opportunity to shirk duties and spend time at your…..ahem special…rock. This is unfortunate because you seem to be the only one who has any combat ability (besides the "freelancer" mercenaries). You have no assigned ability at this time, and will inherit the ability of whomever is elected Blue Team Captain.")

Caboose, blue team wildcard ("Repeated head injuries, firefights inside your consciousness, and having an A.I. ripped out of your head have progressively deteriorated your mental state to the point where you're pretty much divorced from reality. All you know is that your friends need you! On even nights, you can pick any ability to use on any player, but the chances of failure are high.")

Grif, red team commuter ("After dropping out of Ithaca College, you decided to join up with the USNC. Flailing your way through basic, you've ended the self proclaimed "good-for-nothing-slacker" of the Red Team. Being cynical and selfish has earned you no big fans amongst your squad. Your bottom of the totem pole social status, and constantly being the butt of Sarge's jokes, doesn't stop you from laying down some lead to help your friends (but 48 snack cakes might distract you). Once during the game, you can go take a nap in the supply closet, effectively removing yourself from the game for a night. No one, including Sarge, will be able to find you.")

Sheila, blue team bulletproof ("Despite your big size, treads, and heavy weaponry, you are a kind, calm, and caring A.I. But a tank is a tank and you enjoy blowing stuff up, even if its your own teammates. It can be lonely in deep space stuck in a canyon with a bunch of idiots, but you've managed to strike up a romance with the red team robot, Lopez. You are immune to night kills.")

Donut, red team armour-colour-seer ("The red team rookie. In deep space. In the middle of a war. Surrounded by death and destruction. SOMEONE has to remind everyone what you're fighting for. Someone has to remind people of the finer things in life wine, cheese, wearing colors that match, and waxing codpieces. Growing up in rural Iowa has made you a little…..naive, but friendly. Generally bumbling and incompetent like Caboose (the blue team rookie), your geniality makes everyone tolerate your screw ups. Your armor is lightish red, not pink! On odd nights you can seer a player to find out their armor color. You must alternate teams when choosing your targets."). Donut's response to his role:

Doc, blue team protector ("Too bad you're the WORST medic there is. I mean really? CPR for a bullet wound? What happens if someone gets shot in the foot? You rub aloe vera on their neck? Damn right! You arrive months late and your patient is already dead, but because of budget cuts you are on loan to both the red team and blue team and get caught up in their antics. You take your do no harm vow seriously and are a pacifist....unless there's a murderous rage filled A.I. possessing you. On even nights you can protect a member of your team from being killed.")

Lopez, red team blocker ("You are the closest thing Sarge has to a son and he treats as such. You think Sarge is an annoying pompous jerk. Ever since Sarge damaged your speech unit while installing it you've only been able to speak in spanish and so you can only post in spanish. The blood gulch gang typically use and abuse you, which you resent but can't do anything about. You passive aggressively make comments in spanish that no one can understand. However, the language barrier hasn't stopped you from striking up a passionate romance with the blue team's tank, Sheila. On odd nights, you can block a player of your choice.")

Andy, bomb, as one would expect. ("Despite not having a mouth, you sure as hell like to run yours. The only reason anyone takes your crap is the constant threat of explosion. However, no matter how foul-mouthed, vulgar, and sometimes creative you get, Tex can get you under control. If you are attacked, you will explode, killing yourself and anyone else in the immediate vicinity.") (i also want to note this role was randomly assigned to the sweetest, cutest player possible lmfao)

Wolves:

The Meta, red team reflexive ability seer ("If anyone performs any actions on you, you will find out who they are and what they did.")

Wyoming, red team ninja/bombproof ("Ruthless, cunning, and not afraid to manipulate others to your will, you've always known what its going to take to reach your goals and nothing will stop you. This disregard for regulations and laws extend to the laws of time. Using equipment stolen from the military, you set people in time loops, and overpower them while they're confused. Time travel baffles even the smartest minds, wonder what it does to a bunch of idiots in a box canyon. On even nights you can't be tracked, and on odd nights you can diffuse the bomb - if you correctly target them, you can kill them without killing yourself.") Wyoming's response to this role assignment:

O'Malley, blue team redirector/force-kill/result-thief ("When implanted in other people, you serve to accentuate their own rage and internal desires. On even nights, you can redirect a player on the Blue team to perform their action on someone else. Once during the game you can force them to kill. Once during the game you can steal your target's night results in addition to the redirection.")

Third parties:

Vic, red team treestump jester. ("As is custom for all thing Blood Gulch, you are terrible at your job. Acting as a glorified tech support guy, you offer unhelpful advice and end up complicating things far more than necessary. You answer all calls with "hey dude" or "whats going on dude" which makes everyone question the legitimacy of the operation at hand. You are an independent third party, and will win the game if you are voted out AND the game makes it to the point that the final day has only 3 or 4 players)") [this means Vic wants to keep things even between wolves and villagers, so one side doesn't eliminate the other too quick]

Each player has a role PM that's just them and the mods.

Each player can also open a PM between themself and one person on their team. This can be opened any time and continues for the rest of the game.

Doc PMs Sheila (starting day 1)

Andy PMs Doc (starting day 1)

Caboose PMs Sheila (starting day 2) (oh god. oh god the happenings as a result of this PM. it's. well. you'll see.)

Tucker PMs Caboose (starting day 3) (Tucker immediately regrets it:)

Simmons PMs Grif (starting day 3)

Lopez PMs The Meta (starting day 3)

Church PMs O'Malley (starting day 3)

Sheila PMs Tucker after Tucker bugs her for one incessantly (starting day 4) (it's really cute. I won't include snippets because they're irrelevant but they talk about DnD. blue team DnD nights when.)

The Meta PMs Grif (starting day 5)

Grif PMs Donut, on Donut's request (starting day 5)

Next: day 1

[our-aplatonic-experience]

i'm so tired of people treating friendship as THE human experience.

that's why i've never felt comfortable in school, where if asked i needed to lie about being friends with people i never truly knew or cared about. yes they were cool and i value time we spent together, but i never wanted them outside of my school life. i didn't know how to avoid these interactions, like how could i have possibly refused people wanting to be my friends? i've never wanted them to feel hurt, so i lied, and continued to participate in actions that brought me no joy, just because i had this need to conform. then i felt guilty because i didn't feel something i was supposed to. i felt broken. i was confused, why i asked myself it had to me?

i was so deeply uncomfortable with all of this, i thought it would be better if i just ran away, disappeared from the lives of people who considered me their friend. and i did, eventually. i studied online for a year. i completely isolated myself because i was convinced that every social interaction i may have needed to result in friendship. i had no one to talk to about this because i was scared anyone might find out how i really felt.

then i changed schools. things became a bit better, i found my clique. i was learning to accept myself, even though i still didn't think of this as something other people might experience.

as i grew older it became more and more obvious that i'm not actually attracted to anyone, be it romantically or sexually. i had little to no difficulties accepting this because i knew it was fine, that sex and romance might just not be for everyone*. but i took me much longer to understand that basically the same appplies to friendship, because platonic relationships are thought of as shared, common and universal human experience. i can't even imagine how much my life could've been better if i knew that there are, in fact, no relationships i must have to be a normal™ human.

and now, when i finally came to terms with my feelings and embraced being loveless apl, i can absolutely say it changed the way i view life. i have learnt to not be ashamed of who i am. it felt like i found a missing piece and, for once, finally felt complete. and i wanted to thank all of you, those who contribute to the apl and loveless community because if it wasn't for you, i don't think i could've ever been able to accept myself fully.

also, thanks for reading the brief history of my life lol

*for clarification purposes: the environment i was in at the time was very supportive of aro and/or ace people & i personally had known a few before coming out myself. i understand this might not be every person's experience and i didn't want this to sound dissmisive of other people's struggles to accept their aro and/or ace identity <2

– 8

sorry this was rotting in my inbox for so long, just now got energy to read it

jm glad you got to accept your identity:D