#i put it under the cut but im sorry if it doesnt work on mobile

[baby-yoda]

just a list of some things i loved about endgame (major spoilers):

carol saving tony and nebula literally within the first 10 minutes?? badass

the first thing tony said when he got off the ship was about how he couldnt save peter :( that just broke me

nat telling steve that she’d found her family

CAROL’S HAIRCUT

i love you 3000

joe russo playing a gay character in the support group

thor yelling at the guys over playstation for korg afdhsjdj

hulk DABBING

BATTLE! OF! NEW YORK!

hulk preteding to smash things at the battle of new york

tony commenting on how steve’s old suit didnt do his ass justice im sdfjdks

steve! swearing!!! “you’ve got to be shitting me”!!!

STEVE. FIGHTING. 2012 STEVE. i was falling out of my chair i couldnt breATHE this was the best part of the movie you cant change my mind

“i could do this all day” “yeah i knOW”

“BUCKY’S STILL ALIVE”

“that really is america’s ass”

STEVE GETTING INTO THE ELEVATOR WITH RUMLOW

“HAIL HYDRA” THE WHOLE THEATRE APPLAUDED

1970!!! and stan lee!

peggy having a photo of pre-serum steve on her desk

thor getting to see his mum again

tony getting to see his dad again

young michael douglas

the entirety of the clint and nat scene getting the soul stone and saying goodbye to each other

hulk falling to his knees and punching the floor when he realised nat didnt make it back :(

nebula shooting her past self !!!

STEVE AND TONY AND THOR ATTACKING THANOS TOGETHER

all the portals opening up at once!!! iconic

ON YOUR LEFT

AVENGERS.. ASSEMBLE

STEVE BEING WORTHY OF WIELDING MJOLNIR AND THOR NOT EVEN BEING SURPRISED

thanos: i dont even know who you are wanda: you WILL

the scene! where all the women!!! come together!!!! they really! did! THAT!

TONY AND PETER REUNITING

carol not even FLINCHING when thanos headbutted her in the face

“i am iron man”

peter crying when he realised tony was dying :(

happy with tony’s daughter at the funeral

“dont do anything stupid until i get back” “how can i, you’re taking all the stupid with you” THEY REALLY FUCKING DID THAT TO ME I HATE THEM

steve giving sam the shield!!!! and bucky just nodding and smiling

VALKYRIE QUEEN OF ASGARD

thor joining the guardians!

STEVE GOT TO LIVE A LONG AND HAPPY LIFE ITS WHAT! HE! DESERVES!

[cayennecrush]

in the whole PD/RQ thing has anybody talked about how Pearl/RQ left Jasper with a very tangible reason to hate them? Jasper's truth is they shattered her diamond. they put her on that horrible path of self-hate and expect...what, from her? to just 'know' it was a setup? i want her to come back and heal, know that PD/Pearl kinda betrayed her in a sense. but also, you cant be healed by the people that hurt you so im very conflicted.

hmmmmm… things will absolutely get messy with how jasper feels about PD/Rose for sure, but i dont think its fair to place any of that blame on pearl, necessarily.. 

pearl had no power to actually make the rebellion happen, even if she was instrumental to its success. in fact, she didnt even really want to do the fake-shattering plan! in A Single Pale Rose she says “why did i do it” and “there’s got to be another way”, and when we first hear rose talking to her shes trying to convince pearl to do it, despite her hesitations and the power imbalance between them

“There’s got to be another way… I mean… maybe-”

and of course after the fact, pearl didnt even have the power to tell anyone. she was stuck hiding a truth that could have helped so many gems (including steven!) so many times.and like… yes, PD/Rose did want pearl to be her own free rebellious gem and she didnt order her to play the part she did, but ultimately she took advantage of pearl’s love/infatuation with her, her instinct to serve, and the inherent power imbalance between them, even if she might not have realized it and thought pearl was making her choices completely independently. PD/Rose had a really hard time seeing that she meant anything to other gems, so i dont think she ever considered that pearl literally defined her existence around her and would follow her anywhere no matter what, even if it was detrimental to her own well-being. 

“Blue and Yellow don’t care, they never have.”

as for jasper’s feelings, to be perfectly honest i hope shes pissed at PD/Rose. i hope she comes to a point where she values herself enough to recognize that she never deserved that, and that it was completely unfair that her entire life was uprooted and destroyed because of an irresponsible, foolish plan. i want her to feel hurt and betrayed, because her whole identity revolved around the fact that she was a Pink Diamond Soldier, and pink betrayed the complete trust and loyalty she had in her. she lied to her, took away what jasper knew was supposed to be her purpose, and left her and her colony in pieces. 

(symbol jasper uses when talking about the diamond authority in earthlings vs current diamond authority symbol. she still sees pink as her diamond, even though she is no longer a part of the diamond authority)

while the entire point of the rebellion was to free gems from their “purpose”, jasper didnt have a choice like rebel gems did. she was ripped away from what she was told her purpose is and why she has worth, thrown back into the system without that purpose, and of course felt worthless as a result. thats one of the big reasons jasper struggles so much with self-hatred. her purpose was serving pink diamond, then pink was suddenly gone and she’s expected to have a new purpose… even though shes (probably literally) had it beaten into her that gems are made for ONE purpose, and that if you cannot serve that purpose, you should not be allowed to exist. so shes got her “new purpose” and is trying to convince herself she serves yellow now because shes “better”, but deep down shes still devoted to pink and feels her worth is dependent on what she can do as a soldier of pink’s. because thats her ONE, thats what she was MADE for, to fight for pink diamond. so she dedicates herself to getting retribution above all else as a way of holding onto her purpose as a pink diamond soldier. 

“I got out because I’m better than this place. I only came back to finish you off.”

she says she got out because she’s better, but still calls it her colony, her planet, her diamond. shes always holding them close and still feels like theyre what determine her worth. so finding out everything she’d been fighting for, everything she’d worked toward and built her life on was a lie? yeah, jasper absolutely has every right to hate her. she should be angry and hurt that pink betrayed her and left her behind as a part of failed colony. and honestly, i hope that anger rubs off on pearl a little, too. pearl needs to know she didnt deserve the treatment she got from rose either. just like jasper, she was used and then left behind. like jasper, she wraps her entire identity and self-worth around PD/Rose and feels worthless and lost without her. the difference is just that pearl’s loyalties were with “Rose” as the leader of a rebellion, and jasper’s were with “Pink Diamond” as the leader of her colony. if their positions were swapped and jasper had been rose’s confidante and pearl had been reassigned as an old asset of pink’s, i think they would have done and felt the exact same way the other did because of that same unhealthy, self-sacrificial loyalty to PD/Rose. 

(from this comic) 

so basically.. i hope jasper is rightfully angry at pink diamond. i hope that once steven helps her and she’s able to start processing, she can talk to pearl about their mutual experiences that no one else could understand, and that they can both learn valuable perspectives from each other. i want pearl to learn from jasper that it was wrong for rose to treat her the way she did and abandon her, and that she’s allowed to be angry at her for it. and i want jasper to learn from pearl that ultimately the point of everything was an effort towards all gems’ freedom, and that she deserves to exist outside of her “purpose” and be free, like rose showed so many others they could. 

as a side note, i dont hate PD/Rose, in fact i really love her! but she Fucked Up. big time. she was reckless, selfish, immature, and hurt countless gems with her actions, but i do honestly believe she was trying to do what she thought was right. shes a complicated character and we still dont know the full story (and we may never!), but i think thats part of whats so wonderful about her. she had great intentions but made some really questionable choices, and i think we’re allowed to love her for the good she wanted to do and be angry at her for the pain she caused, just like jasper and pearl should!  💕

[lesbianzouis]

do you think louis' kinky?

im going to put my answer under the cut bc its kind of a lot adsjss also i apologize immensely for the amount of times i say ‘like’ & ‘i feel like’ its so bad

okay, fictionally i can imagine him being super kinky, like depending on who he’s with or how he looks I can picture him being a certain type of way & being rly kinky, however, i feel like in real life hes not really that kinky?? I feel like he’s a normal amount. like he’s not vanilla, but he’s not into any hardcore shit. & i also feel like how kinky he is depends on who he’s with? if he’s with someone who really likes to dominate, i feel like he’s fine letting them do that. if he’s with someone who wants to be dominated, he’s fine doing that for them. so i feel like he really doesn’t care, and it all depends on who he’s with, but for him, ideally, he’d like to be the more submissive one & only kinky when he feels like it

so, i feel like louis does have certain kinks, but they aren’t a constant thing. like i feel like he has to be in a certain mood or in a certain situation (e.g. when things are hot and heavy, when he’s super horny, etc)  for him to want to act on the kinks? but when he is in the mood i feel like he’d be into getting held down? like getting his hips and wrists pinned down? as well as sometimes being tied up but 1) only his wrists and 2) only with like silk ribbon, i cant really see him liking rope or handcuffs. i can also see him liking getting marked? with hickeys, bruises from being held down, even like beard burn on his thighs. i can see him loving marking whoever he’s with but only rly with hickeys bc i cant really see him pinning someone down. i can see him liking being told what to do and kinda being bossed around. he’s super mischievous & at times looks and acts like such a minx so I can see him being really into exhibitionism? but not really because he thinks exhibitionism itself is hot, more in a way of like. hm. like. like he loves seeing the way his partner gets super flustered, worked up, embarrassed, and worried that they’re gonna get caught and thats what louis likes about it. i feel like he does think the thrill and sneakiness of it is hot, but he more does it because he’s really into his partners reaction to it & seeing them squirm & get all nervous. so i guess kind of a mild humiliation kink? but again, only in certain circumstances. this isn’t really a kink but i feel like he loves riding and feeling very.......full gsfsdsg. ummm, that’s really it i think? theres probably a few more things i can see him being into but i’m just forgetting them. 

of course tho, all of this is pure speculation i literally dont even have really any reasoning to back up any of these, just the part about us knowing how mischievous he is so yeah this is purely just based on how i can picture him being in real life! 🤷 also if anyone wants to #discuss in the replies feel free ahgsd 

[quank]

top surgery goals are to either get my tits augmented to look like meaty pecs or to actually gain meaty pecs so I can have a top squeeze and rub em while we're making out is that too much to ask

[jazajas]

okay so i finished love, victor a while ago and i saw some other reviews and thoughts about it here so now i've got a pretty good list on my thoughts and feelings.

tl;dr: it has some issues, yes, but im gonna hold out and hope it gets better later on because the same thing happened with the first few eps, i wasn't that into it but then it got good, and nothing is ever great with the first season, because at that point we're getting used to those characters.

⚠️caution: spoilers ahead (im on mobile, i cant get an under-the-cut)⚠️

1. while a leah on the offbeat movie would have been amazing movie sequel (even tho i havent read the book yet, im just here for the wlw content) i am kind of glad we got this instead. mostly because I've seen book series where one movie was good, so they decide to do the rest, turn out bad (hunger games? divergent? percy jackson? the hobbit?) because so much was cut from the book-to-first movie writing, that other scenes wouldn't make sense to future movies if they had those in while cutting others. however, i am sad that i didn't get to make the choice of deciding whether what was cut was wrong etc. about future movies, but i'll take what i can get.

2. LGBTQ+ POC as a lead! that's amazing! as a ace/bi lantina that's close to home (it also is great that victor's from texas and so is ya gorl) and even then it's a mixed latinx family! i think pilar mentioned that at least the grandmother left Colombia and i saw the Puerto Rican flag in victor's room. also the salazar's are definitely from small town texas, even without knowing the name. (church barbeques, the use of the words "such a diverse city" in regards to atlanta)

3. a lack of actual lgbtq+ main storylines (so far) is kind of sad for a show like this. i was getting serious bi/pan vibes (as a lot of other people) from victor from the beginning, and when it was implied that victor was actually gay (while great, not shaming) as it has been brought to my attention, there was a lot of looking at a lot of straight relationship problems (please let us know more about benji)- edit 6/18: upon further consideration, it very much is a show about questioning your sexuality, I'm speaking about the other straight relationship issues, not mia and Victor's, its just the first season.

4. let us talk about cheating for a sec. never okay, in any circumstance. i feel sorry for mia that she saw victor making out with benji and the fact that he was doing any of that in the first place. victor made a choice to lie about the espresso machine and then kissed benji at the hotel and then when benji was fighting with derek, basically confessed his love and mistakes, then proceeded to makeout with benji after he broke up with derek, he built that grave and now he must lie in it. i get having feelings for a guy when you are in a relationship with a girl, and not accepting yourself enough to end that relationship but you really want it to work so you can be "normal". really, he should have told mia after he got back from the trip tho. i get being in highschool and doing stupid stuff and making dumb decisions, but for a show aimed at teens i think we should also remind said teens to make good choices even if we have to lose some realism within the character choices.

4. pilar and her decisions based off her brother pissed me off. because i honestly think that if she'd kept her mouth shut about what she knew or confronted victor about it in the first place we could have avoided a LOT of mess. did she not learn from snooping around her mother's business about her relationships that going behind a person's back doesnt end well? i did, however, like the pilar/felix friendship and was really kind of hoping that they'd get together during their coffee hangout (although now im glad that didn't happen) because they had a deeper understanding of each other. same with wendy/felix, although they do seem to much alike to work out in the long run but i still feel bad for wendy.

5. i don't know how i feel about lake and andrew, as people separate from each other. both seem to be the way they are from their upbringing (not confirmed why andrew is such an ass, but if his comment about his dad is anything to go by i bet it's got something to do with attention) but andrew seems to be less, idk, superficial? like he turned down mia because he didn't want to be a rebound, he didn't out victor, he actually stood up to early teasing the other dudes in the lockerroom were doing at victor (with teasing of his own obviously but that interaction had him on my nice list until much later). lake? lake. i honestly don't have an opinion of her? not really. i mean after hanging out with pilar i was hoping felix wouldn't go back to lake. is her name laken? i feel like her full name is laken. but they also played the "im only like this because my mom is really superficial about stuff and i do like the geeky nice guy but appearances" to "actually screw the norms im gonna makeout with him infront of the whole student body". i honestly thought she was gonna be bi because she kept hitting on mia when she was helping set up for her "date" and "big night" and there was one point where i saw her face fall at something mia said in relation to her and idk i was hoping she'd be bi (i figured early on that victor/mia wasnt gonna work and was like "oh mia/lake would be cute" but now idk.

6. okay on to the "big night", i have one word. NO. i didn't like the peer pressure into having sex. i agreed with felix when he said "your body your choice" but im also disappointed that victor made out with mia and when lake was talking to felix after victor left he didn't try to stand up for victor.

7. on to age gaps because i hadn't really thought of this at first. we'll start with benji/derek: WHAT GRADE IS BENJI?! because that determines my thoughts. if he's a sophomore that meant that he and Derek started dating benji's freshman year and thats eugh, don't do that, don't care if its a gay couple that shouldn't be happening because the maturity of the two characters is DRASTICALLY different (this is also a reason i am not a fan of cmbyn) but that would explain why they were so rocky. hoping the event at the gay bar was open to anyone not just for drinking, but not liking that fact that not one of the adults with victor were like: hey, this is a 16 year old, that's kind of wack when that dude was hitting on victor. that made me question some stuff. although i figure it might be making up for the lack of a gay bar scene in love, simon. but even then, in svthsa it's a restaurant with a bar that some people go to just to drink at, it wasn't just a bar, simon could be there but should NOT have accepted drinks from college kids, not matter how attractive.

8. i loved how bram and simon and their friends helped victor out though. i like how bram was like: hey i know my friends are a lot so here's a gay basketball league becaue there's no one way to be gay. i like how Simon talked about needing help himself just to help victor and how he said his friends were cool with it because it's a community. i like of justin(?) mentioned how being what his parents wanted was putting on a mask and pretending, not him doing drag. my favorite lines from that ep are: "and before you ask my pronouns are they/them/theirs" "'they're all gay? even that guy? he's like [insert really tall number]' 'yeah. you should see him in heels'" "or in simon's case: really unathletic" "and also because bram said that if i wore [the jean jacket] one more time he'd burn it". also katya was there. and the group hug too!

9. the back hand homophobia in relation to family is sad, but realistic and i sincerely hope his parents are kind enough not to be too harsh on victor because of it. anything they say that isn't positive or supportive of victor is bad but i hope they realize that there is more to him than that and that they can come to terms with it because it's not always that hard to be a part of that community and super religious. i am biromantic and catholic. and while there are some things i wont agree on my mom with, i know that it's more of a strike against God for kicking out gay kids from families than it is to be gay, because those parents were given trust by GOD to love those kids no matter what, and be good parents. so in the end, the parents are wrong and harmful and in the case of christians against jesus's teachings to love everyone.

10. this is fan speculation but dont think simon/bram are going through a rough patch? i honestly think it'd be a little cruel to the characters to have on of their actors be producing but then not have that relationship stay. and while it's not set in stone and obviously things happen in the real world, we have no proof script wise about there being a rift. all we have are bad photoshopped ig photos and scenes where two characters are never standing next to each other probably beccaue schedules never link up correctly for minor characters. who knows, maybe nick robinson was filming for a movie where is does have an even more major role than victor's gay guru in a series about victor so his filming time was around that. im gonna keep hope that things are okay.

11. that being said: we need more mainstream wlw content, because someone said it earlier and it really does seem to be catering to straight girls. i'll admit i did freak out when benji played call me maybe which is something i associated with him and victor but then kissed a guy because who wouldn't? we get that serenade and sweetness and then it'a ripped from us. but i did mellow out. if i flipped later it was because victor was making dumb decisions and i had to give myself a moment of compsure before i continued.

in the end, i'd say that there is a lot of growth this series needs to go through, but i also know that some people just aren't going to like it and i get that. but i also know that sometimes the best of stories have rocky starts, nothing is ever perfect from the beginning. and besides, further seasons are on hold until we figure out this covid thing, which means that you bet they're gonna be looking at our feedback. they saw what we thought before, they can do it again

i really did like it but we need more ACTUAL lgbtq+ relationship stuff from this series and better decisions on what we are teaching the younger generations, as well as what we want to focus on and realism within characters. i'm giving it an 8/10, because there is always room for growth and i really hope we get better things out of this than what we have been given in season 2.

edit: someone mentioned it really seeming like it was meant for Disney+ and i felt that. also to anyone who reaches the tags agter reading ALL OF THIS: i am sorry

[iapislazuli]

Hey can you infodump on me on how you think Azula redemption would go? Seems interesting

well i know that one of the show’s writers has somewhat elaborated on it already... but since it never canonically happened i can go hogwild 

the comic series which takes place post-ATLA shows azula was put in a mental institution rather than in jail like ozai, which makes sense since shes, yknow, a 14 year old who’s been abused by her parents, so i think a redemption arc would start there (note: i am aware the comics continue to well on 3 years after the cartoon, but im going to pretend all this happens p much immediately after the series as if it were in season 4) 

also dis got real long so im puttin it under a cut i dont know if cuts still dont work on mobile if they dont im so sorry but anyways... da redemption ....  this is mostly just me dumping thoughts and ideas and not super intricate or well worded just roll with it. OK 

well the entire concept of her redemption i think would be, that things get worse before they can get better. azula is institutionalized. initially, she has to be restrained and sedated most of the time and i think zuko would realize this is .... a terrible way to live, he doesnt want his sister to have to spend the rest of her life locked up and drugged just to protect her from herself. i dont know how easy it would be for aang to energy bend again.... but SOMEHOW he does it and azula wakes up, unrestrained and completely sober for the first time in AGES and shes like YES time to escape but then she tries to bend and she CANT 

i dont know how long itd take for her to be willing to go out and about, though. she certainly wouldnt be trusting zuko or any of the gaang any time soon though, it would take... a lot of coaxing and slow progress for her to want to do anything. because like i said in my other post, bending shaped azula’s entire life. her power and her mind were the two things she valued most and now she’s lost both of those. like how zuko felt during his redemption arc, she would feel as though she’s been stripped of everything she knows, it would be terrifying for her. 

and not to be like “my favorite characters should be friends” BUT i think toph would be the first (besides zuko ofc) to offer azula some kind of metaphorical hand. the two of them would work really well together. toph’s brutal honesty could shut down azula’s catastrophizing real quick whenever it pops up. and i think azula would appreciate that toph wouldnt be trying to hold her hand or belittle her. with toph, azula learns respect in a new way, respect based in trust and genuine appreciation, as opposed to the respect she learned from fear (and in turn inflicted on others) from ozai. and toph appreciates that respect. like azula, she’s not looking for people who will treat her like she’s weak or incapable of things. they can also both relate about having parents with very specific expectations who didn’t really love them. 

thats pretty much as far as i got in terms of super intricate detail. ui just want... my favorites to be friends. Dats all. Azula redemption pls 

[kurainburdened]

POKEMON AU pls.... bc i know ur passionate abt pokemon and honestly Me Too

III LOVE YOU!!! I WAS PLANNING ON MAKING THIS A THING WHERE I ADD IN THE SENDERS MUSE INTO THE HCS BUT MAYA AND YOUR MUSE NEVER INTERACTED WHICH IS A CRIME!!! Dont tell edgeworth or she might get arrested lol. But anway!! I want to do stuff with you!!

ALSO THANK YOU FOR SENIDNG THIS BECAUSE THATS REALLY SWEET OF YOU AND IM REALLY TOUCHED YOU REMEMERED I LOVE POKEMON

Number 1

Mayas first pokemon, funny enough isnt a ghost type, but a normal type. See, in the pokemon verse Mayas background is basically the same. The Fey village is basically unchanged in this worly except for one thing. On a certain part of the mountainside is a forest that travellers tend to get lost in for ages. Many report hallucinations as being the main cause for this so it’s kind of cut off. Maya, being the rebel she is, of course wanders it in hopes of conquering it. Her sister is usually the voice of reason and really it would only take her being like. what if youre lost forever or something to scare her into staying but shes not ther so into the forest she goes! It’s there that she finds a waterfall and goes there to train constantly. She tries and tries to channel spirits and one day, she succeeds! Or so she thinks. The first time she thinks she’s channeled another spirit, she sees herself as the spirit she’s been trying to channel, sees her now-possessed body moving and acting on it’s own. When she runs back to the village to tell her story, she’s told that she couldn’t have channeled a spirit because if she did she would’ve been unconscious. 

Confused Maya goes back and tries again only to get the same result. After a bit of investigating Maya realizes the source of travelers getting lost and the hallucinations is due to a stantler. This Stantler saw Maya, this little girl training so hard that it took pity on her, and wanting to help in the only way it could let her see herself channeling a spirit. At first Maya is crushed and upset at the pokemon for giving her false hope but quickly forgives it and thanks it for wanting to help. The pokemon soon takes on this kind of caring role for Maya, along with also being her only playmate seeing as the other girls in the village are kind of distant with her. Her being the heir to the Master title and Morgan instructing them to listen to her and listen to all her selfish desires, leading to them being resentful of her. Anyway, also to build off of that. Once Mayas sister dies, she asks the Stantler to let her see her Sister again. And thats like a thing she did for awhile before telling it to stop because it became this painful reminder of something she could never do which is channel her sister. Actually fun fact she asked the stantler to show her her mother but was heartbroken when it basically gave her the answer that it couldnt because Maya didn’t have the memory of her mothers face anymore. Anyway. One time when shes particularly heartbroken and hopeless she laments in the forest to herself how shes so useless and cant do anything right. How she hates herself for being this way. Hates herself for not being able to compare to Mia or her mother. At this point she sees the image of her sister saying shes proud of her. Maya is angry at Stantler for showing her such a horrible lie and runs away. Only to later be told by the pokemon that it wasn;t trying to make her see her sister say that, rather it was the only way of communicating that even if no one else appreciated her, it was proud of her. 

ANYWAY ENOUGH OF STANTLER ON TO NUMBER 2

That’s right another in depth backstory for another pokemon hopefully not as long lol

The next on the list is a primeape that lives in the forest, training with sawk and throh. It kind of ended up getting abandonned by it’s trainer in a place where this breed of pokemon aren’t really found but it’s found it’s place with the sawk and throh so it doesn’t mind too much. It ended up earning it’s respect with good old fashioned fighting and is kind of in a ‘king of the forest’ position. Scary and intimidating and bent on establishing its dominance to all that challenge it! Anyway, while Maya is exploring the mountainside of her village she finds out about it and it’s plain to see that Primeape has a certain amount of respect among the other fighting types. After having seen a cool tv episode where the hero challenges the strongest of the strong a really young Maya decides to do the same, announcing loudly when the pokemon is alone that she’s here to challenge the pokemon to a duel to the death! She runs up throws her small fist at the might and strong pokemon!

To which, not wanting to hurt this strange small child, primeape falls over dramatically, clutching the side which she hit and lets its tongue flop out all goofy in the hopes of appeasing her. Maya, not really sure what to do, honestly not even having thought this far ahead starts getting worried for the pokemon and starts crying to which it quickly gets up in a panic to reassure her its ok. From there it kind of takes on this older brother position with her. Also playing with her, letting her grab onto it as she swings throughout the trees. 

Goodness this Maya is turning out to be much more of a wild child than her aa counterpart. She’s not exactly strong, but she’s more athletic I’d imagine in this version. More nimble but can definitely have her clumsy moments on occasion. 

putting last three under cut cause THIS IS LONG. IF YOURE ON MOBILE IM SO SORRY

Number three!

Goodness I stuffed way too much into those other HCs but onto Phoenix! Anyway this also remains for the most part unchanged. What you think the pokemon world doesn’t need lawyers? Anyway, quick tanget but trainers arent really…it’s not a sustainable lifestyle, most people do it as a way of coming of age before moving into the respective field they took interest in during their travels. So no, if you have a pokemon au you don’t have to be some professional trainer. Professional battles are like a sport and trainers are athletes. Sure people enjoy it on the side but it’s NOT the norm to make it a living off of it. You have to be smart and strategic in a very complicatedf sport that takes a LOT  of training and it’s not like in the game where if you spam tackle after walking around for 5 seconds you gain XP. its more like you’re a coach training 6 athletes in how to train their bodies in the best way possible while coming up with tons of game plans. 

anyway tangent over. Phoenix is a lawyer and this taking place in the pokemon world only lends itself towards there being much more factors to consider when thinking of how murders occured. Her life with Phoenix for the most part remains unchanged but as a side note Maya encounters a lot of pokemon along the way during her travels with phoenix. She thinks strong heroic looking pokemon are cool so she tends towards pokemon like sawk and throh or conkeldurr. OH AND IVE BEEN SETTING THIS IN SPECIFICALLY UNOVA AND ONLY RESEARCHING THE UNOVA DEX FOR MAYA ND THE POKEMON THAT SURROUND HER. 

I feel like.. Audino might enter theyre little group at one point? Like Stantler comes with her when she leaves the mountain cause Stantler is a worrywart and Maya is a mess and has never been down to the big city, but Primeape is more trusting in Maya and her abilities and knows shes much stronger than a lot of people give her credit for. He doesn’t come down the mountain to be with her until much later just cause he has a pack to guide. Actually the pokemon it leaves in charge is like another pokemon Maya is close with since it was primeapes apprentice and maya and this pokemon were kids together and kind of were the babies of the pack ANYWAY SORRY TANGENT. 

aNYWAY AUDINO. A while back Audino were attempted to be integrated into crime fighting in some way since the way theyre psychic powers work they’d be able to sense overwhelming…i guess malevolence or evil or bad intentions but like. It’s just REALLY unhealthy for them and it really signifigantly lessens their lifespans just cuase all the negativity eats away at them emotionally and one of the pokemon, it’s really old honestly like it was one of the pokemon that originally was part of this attempt to integrate these pokemon with the police force and was luckily enough like it survived long enough for them to end the program and it just…can’t endure being around negativity anymore like it’s really stressful so it enjoys being around Maya just cause she is really kindhearted and senstive and good and the Wright office is filled with kind hearted people so it just takes comfort being there. It doesn’t really leave the office though and while it’s there for everyone it really does belong to Maya for the most part. 

THATS JUST AN IDEA I HAVE THOUGH IDK IF ILL MAKE THAT PART OF HER CANON

Im kind of just going off on differen points in this one huh. Like the other wre a story here im just like SO MANY DIFFERENT THINGS. 

Number 4 (where diana tries to stop being ADHD and hopefully doesnt fail miserably)

Honestly you’d think being part of a back of fighting types would make her more suited towards groups and make her less selfish. Spoiler alert. It didn’t  If you think Maya is good at making people do what she wants now you shouldve seen her when she was a kid. Though it also means shes got a entire pack of fighting types who will die for her and if you make her cry you better be sorry. and if youre not you’re going to be.  

Oh and also dont think that just cause Maya is a forest girl that oh shes strong and knows how to fight cause like. She really doesn’t. Honestly the pokemon around her kind of coddled her and outside of her gaining enough stamina to hold up against running around with her pokemon friends she’s not really….all that much stronger. She doesn’t know how to fight either. She can jsut run really fast and is more likely to attempt more dangerous things that she’s seen other pokemon do cause WHY NOT. She basically just has more dangerous influences lol

Number 5 cause i want to wrap this up a bit

Oh boy now what can i do for a fifth one lets see… see the thing is Maya is basically the same between the two versions of her except for certain like physical differents that I just listed. 

I guess here’s one but she doesn’t….she’s not a good trainer. Like her team, right now, is an old man of an Audino. A Stantler that can only do hallucinations and is kind of bad at fighting and then this powerhouse of a Primeape. 

The Primeape is a GREAT fgighter but tends to keep to the mountains unless it starts missing her and comes downt o visit real quick. Her other two are just…weak. Maya though is really good at thinking on her feet so she can use what her pokemon do have to come up with some great strategies. Thought his doesnt reall come out unless shes backed up against the wall. See the reason why everyone percieves Maya as stupid and useless is because that’s how she percieves herself. Maya for the most part does what she can in what she think she can do but doesn’t really let her true intellect show because shes convinced shes an idiot. She kind of jokes around with bad ideas but she really is quick on her feet and good in a clutch.

So the only time you see her good skills with her pokemon and coming up with inventive ways for these basically powerless pokemon to get her out of tight situations is when literally shes by herself, there’s no one else to rely on and lives are on the line.

[katthedemonslayer]

hey this is a tmi question for fellow people with vaginas, question under the cut for obvious reasons

EDIT: if youre on mobile and this doesnt do the Read More properly, im.. sorry and feel free to not read

so i went swimming on friday and i think i'm having a reaction to the chlorine from the pool. for the past couple days, the vulva area has been really itchy and sore. i haven't noticed any unusual discharge (which would actually help according to literally every site i've read where the discharge would help distinguish what is up) and i'm wondering if anyone has any ideas on products/remedies to help this? i put a cold pad on last night and that helped (i literally put a pad in the freezer for a bit so it would be cold but not frozen to help with the soreness. i heard about doing this for after giving birth to help with pain/swelling and figured it would help. and it did. but it's not an effective thing for say, while i'm at work)

i just wanna not be itchy anymore, screams

[loriinae]

talking abt my prescription & other mental illness stuff under the cut (hopefully... im on mobile /: ).. don/t re-blog, thank u

ive beeen on bupropion for like. a year ish? im rly bad at keeping track of these things. but its meant to make me have more energy thru the day, since i feel physically exhausted from my depression sometimes. it doesnt really make me motivated to do shit cus productivity (as in... activities, not in a work sense) is learned and theres not a pill for it, but it puts me in a place where i /can/ do shit

my psychiatrist upped my dose a bit a while ago (sometime in january, i think), and since then ive been having a normal sleep schedule - not taking long naps in the middle of the day, waking up early, not sleeping 12-14 hrs... really good since my work/school sched has me doing things 8am-10pm . im still not great at managing my time (im on tumblr lol) but hopefully ill get there someday.

on the negative tho, i think it makes me more irritable than usual. ive always been irritable but nowadays itll hit me out of nowhere and i get irrationally mad at tiny things... when im throwing a fit i dont think rationally (even if i tell myself 'this isnt worth getting worked up about') and take it out on the people around me and myself . when i come back to my senses i feel dumb and regretful, but not always sorry. if i care enough ill try to mend the damage and apologize, but sometimes i dont care enough to do that or ill give a ingenuine apology...

it gets rly bad cus ill usually be angry with myself for not doing things i need to do, and that anger leaks out into my interactions with others. that feels especially bad bc im taking my self-anger out on others... i have taken it out on myself but it doesnt achieve anything (lucky ive got bird scratches all over my arm, hides the human nail scratches)

and i still have a problem with actually Doing the things i set out to do. ill set a time to start smth i should be doing / stop doing whatever it is im not supposed to be doing, but i dont stick to it. other ppl are motivated thru deadline pressure or incentives but i think ive numbed myself to that kind of pressure from missing so many deadlines. dont get me wrong, i still panic abt deadlines but that doesnt encourage me to actually work on shit.

all in all, i think i need to practice self discipline and anger management. i was going to try to get back into talk therapy, but with my shitty insurance the copay (IF i were to find a therapist covered by my insurance) would be $50 a session so, thats not really an option. so i just need to buckle down and work on it myself

[haonqq]

30 Day Yinro Challenge: Day 1-9

All of this ended up longer than intended so its 9 days under the cut lmao

1. the basics: introduce us to your watcher!

You enter the walls of Caed Nua, met with the sight of milling guests and locals alike, small market stalls lined up. It almost appears akin to a small village, people going about their business, be it building, shopping, watching the speech in the foyer you can’t quite hear from your distance, or perhaps attending worship in the small, homely church. It certainly wasn’t what you’d expected from all of the ghastly descriptions of the place from merely a year ago. You peel your eyes from the sight and make your way towards the Great Hall, but as you approach, looking like one to proposition the local thayn, a guard stops you. “You won’t be findin’ him in there.” She gestures behind her at the large door, cracked slightly but seemingly empty. “This time a’day he’s usually out by Brighthollow, working in the garden or cookin’. If he hasn’t been stolen off to help out with some other chore.” What she’s saying doesn’t quite make sense, and you aren’t inclined to believe her, but follow her directions back towards this ‘Brighthollow’. Passing through a few groups of gossiping locals, you find the building matching her description and look around. Nobody seems to be in the garden, though it does seem recently tended. The kitchen seems to be your next stop, but as you make your way towards the door, you hear something like a curse above you. Squinting up into the afternoon sky, you manage to spot a shingle as it slides off the edge of the roof, managing to move out of the way just in time to avoid it landing on you. You look up again to see an elf. You blink again, having not believed the rumors of a pale elf being the new thayn and owner of Caed Nua. “Oh, gods, sorry! Did it hit you? I should have been more careful, slipped right between my hands!” He looks as apologetic as he sounds, wiping a wrist along his forehead, thin locks of strawberry dusted pale hair sticking to the sweat on his face and neck. “Here, let me just-” And within a moment he’s down the ladder and in front of you, checking you over carefully before wiping a fleck of dirt off your shoulder, then clapping his hand there. “There we go, good as new!” It was harder to hear from above, but its clear he isn’t from the Dyrwood. Rauatain, if your memory is to be trusted, but he speaks Aedyran clearly enough. He smiles as he looks you over, crow’s feet wrinkling at the corner of his eyes and it’s only now you notice their striking pink color. “Ah, my apologies, Yinro Manaaki, Thayn and Lord of Caed Nua at your service. I take it you’re here to speak with me?” He starts out maintaining eye contact with you, but as he continues on he squats down to pick up the bits of broken shingle from the ground before standing again. You nod your affirmation, though you’re not sure what to make of him. He seems genuine enough, and the name matches. He smiles again, so genuinely you can tell everything he’s telling you is the truth. “You have excellent timing, I was just finishing up fixing the roof.” He disposes of the shingle pieces and wipes his hands on his pants, already dirty from previous wear. Then he gestures forward and takes a step towards the Great Hall, waiting on your before moving along, keeping at your pace. “So, what is it I can do for you?”

2. appearance: what race is your watcher? what do they look like? any scars, tattoos, or markings?

(photo by @riessene because its just,,, so good im cry)

I touched on a few things in the fancy dancy intro but! He’s a pale elf with strawberry blonde hair(though its on the lighter side) and of the lighter blue skin variety. Naturally, he’s covered in those white freckles because i love them He has two prominent scars, both on his face

The first is the scar on his mouth, which crosses both lips. While in a,, disagreement fight with his older adopted brother Branwen, there was always some shoving and punching and the like, but Branwen got a solid hit on him and Yinro managed to catch his face on something sharp and it just sliced through his lip and its healed but never really gone away,, The other is on his cheek, down to his jaw and he actually got this one when he met Aloth! Unable to talk the drunks down, Yinro assisted Aloth with taking them out for their safety and managed to catch one of the weapons on his cheek since he’s an idiot and doesnt use weapons when he fights and with everything going on with lack of sleep and all its unlikely it healed to full capacity and so it will remain for all his days

(im debating on one over his eyebrow at the beginning of Deadfire but that depends on how That starts exactly also debated on a tattoo but lbr i forget his scars all the time im good lmao)

3. personality & alignment: give us a look into your watcher’s personality! you can use theirmyers briggs type, d&d morality alignment, or just describe their motives and quirks.

As a start, Yinro is bordering the Neutral/Chaotic Good alignment, sticking closer to the Trying to keep lawful, but also following his own moral compass as to whether the Law is truly Good. He is however a supremely good person and tries to remain as honest as possible without putting someone in danger that doesnt need to be. While he is, as Eder put it, the type to “get involved”, in cases where the punishment seems deserved he won’t step in. However, while he does genuinely try to be good and make good decisions, part of it is attempting to make up for past wrongs and trying not to dip back into bad habits. He also has problems, because of that and misunderstanding teachings, avoids his anger. He used to let his anger pretty much control him, back when he was first adopted, and made a lot of trouble for people who didnt deserve it. He was supposed to be learning to control his anger and work with it and not let it control him, but ended up suppressing it in the long run. (which is going to be a primary Personal Conflict in Deadfire cause BOY is he pissed). But ultimately he’s a benevolent person and believes the best of everyone and believes that anyone can make up for their mistakes in the long run if they’re willing to try.

4. sexuality & gender: how does your watcher identify? is this important to them, or have they never given it much thought?

Gender hasn’t really been much of a focus for Yinro and he’s never really given it much thought. He probably thought about it a bit when literally soul searching provided his previous life was a woman, and if he didn’t already view gender as more of a biological thing than a soul bound thing or important at all, he’d probably be more fluid but he’s comfortable identifying as a man in this life.

Yinro is strictly attracted to men, both romantically and sexually, and is pretty important to him. While I dont think Rauatai in particular is against same-sex relationships, I think in his mind considering before being moved there he only lived with his mother and didn’t really interact with much anyone else he probably heard a lot about het relationships moreso thank gay ones and so when he got to a romantically interested age, he had that barrier of ‘but I SHOULD like women’ when realistically he was repulsed at the idea. It was a big part of realizing who he is and is much more important to him than gender.

This being said, he is a very touchy person (touchy being like. Physically touching peple, he enjoys physical contact) and isn’t opposed to being as touchy with female friends as long as they’re aware theres no romantic inclination there.

5. background: what’s your watcher’s culture and background? tell us a bit about their life before traveling to the dyrwood!

Yinro spent the first 20 years of his life in The White That Wends living a nomadic life with his biological mother. His father was still alive, but the relationship with his mother was purely to produce a child for her. She was a hunter, and decided clan life wasn’t for her, and so that was where Yinro grew up. An unfortunate accident after being ambushed by slavers hampered her mobility, and ultimately resulted in her death in an avalanche. This left Yinro travelling alone with no hint as to where a clan may be or really anyone at all. He lasted alright, knowing how to hunt and survive there, but that didn’t prepare him for the slavers catching up, trapping him and ‘escorting’ him to Rauatai for selling. He didn’t spend long in servitude but it was enough to twist his sorrow from losing his mother into an anger that would permeate the next 10 years of his life. Naturally when he managed to escape servitude, he was a scourge of the streets. Petty theft, shakedowns, anything to get by. After he was picked up by a kind dwarven woman with a knack for picking up troubled youth and adopting them named Vianna Manaaki, this behavior continued until he met his mentor. His mentor really kicked him a new one, but became almost like a father figure to him, even if he was temporary. After that, Yinro began to shape up and make amends for his previous wrongs and becoming a role model for his younger siblings and gaining some semblance of a normal siblinghood with Branwen, though the resentment for the trouble Yinro caused his mother was still there. He began making amends to a local tavern owner by washing his dishes, steadily becoming more and more interested in cooking while watching him in the kitchens. Over time, the owner began working with him to the point that Yinro was a full fledged assistant chef. Once the management changed, Yinro decided that was his time to set out and find somewhere he could really call his, always feeling a bit outcast. He set out for the Dyrwood after hearing about cheap land, hoping to find an inexpensive place to live and settle down and make a living off cooking. Then we find him with the caravan and WELL,, chefing didn’t work out.

Due to him spending a majority of his life in Rauatai, I went with the Rauatain Laborer background, though he does still follow some TWTW culturally, he’s more in tune with Rauatain (initially he was a drifter but ultimately didn’t fit with his bg)

6. family: who does your watcher consider family? do they place more importance on blood relatives or found family? do they keep in touch after traveling to the dyrwood?

Yinro always considers his birth mother family, but considers his adopted family (even Branwen) just as much family as she was. (guess who’s got nine fucking adoptive siblings, though two are older than Yinro) And while he does consider his companions family as well, there’s a different context, familial but definitely more on the ‘found family’ variety, whereas adoptive family are basically blood relatives in his his eyes. He was doing well keeping in contact with them on his way and at the beginning of the trip, but as things got more hectic and he got more tired, he didn’t want to worry them so he sent one final letter reassuring them that he was just getting busy and wouldn’t be in contact for a while. He has since resumed regular contact post-game.

7. stats & class: give us a rundown of those sweet, sweet base stats. do they line up with how you envision your watcher from a roleplay standpoint, or are they more gameplay based? do they line up with your watcher’s race and class? how did they begin training in their chosen class? (bonus! will they be multi-classing in deadfire?)

Not technically the stats i used in game, since these are from one of the replays with the laborer bg and more context to what the stats actually do. I try to stick closer to a roleplaying form rather than gameplay, but try to keep a clooose balance between the two, making it possible to do the things I want Yinro to be able to do as well as keep close to how he actually is. I think he is not nearly as perceptive or smart as the average elf assumedly is, he’s a lil bumpkin with no formal education but he’s not stupid either. I thinkkk its pretty good Monk stats though (okay he DOES have perception but he’s too much of a dingus to do anything about what he sees) I briefly touched on it in the bg question, but! (okay im changing how they met right now because i just came up with a better idea here we go lmao) Yinro was shaking some people down late at night, when his master(monk master/teacher is what i mean by master in this story) walks by. Of course, being in this part of town for a while he’s heard of Yinro, little shits got a rep. He waps Yinro over the back of the head with a his staff, knocking him down and dazing him, letting the two he was shaking down go but turning back to Yinro is able to recognize the pain and and anger behind his actions. Gives him two options: get turned over to the guard(again), or become his pupil and move past this. Yinro, conflicted but also WANTING to change and grow, took him up on the offer. And so for the next couple years he trained him in both combat and discipline, and Yinro stopped being so much of a little shit.

The plan IS for him to multiclass, but I’m not sure if I want him to be a Shadowdancer or a Brawler,,

8. fighting style & gear: what weapons and armor does your watcher use? are there any talents/abilities that they favor in combat? are there any that they refrain from using, for moral reasons or otherwise? (bonus! will they choose a sub-class in deadfire?)

A good portion of the game I had him in medium armor, but realistically he’s more likely to wear light armor(aka basically,, regular clothes,, with maybe a leather vest, MAYBE) He also didn’t use any weapons, depending purely on his little gay hands, though come Deadfire he’s realised that,, maybe he should,, use weapons and right now I have him using a sword/sabre in his main hand and dagger/stiletto in his off hand but thats subject to change depending on subclass and how viable monk is Debating on the Shattered Pillar subclass for monk, but Im not sure about a multiclass subclass (maybe avoid a subclass for one for simplicity’s sake)

9. reputations: what are your watcher’s dispositions? do they line up with how you envision your watcher? what are your watcher’s reputations? do they work to maintain any reputations, either good or bad?

Remember how i said Yinro was a good boy? When have I EVER lied to you?? I will say I didn’t play with dispositions on so a lot of the stoic options (esp the Hiravias one with the raw meat. Also Yinro would eat raw meat just not That Part) I was playing off for comedic effect which is. Really funny if you consider Yinro just being bad at jokes

Reputation wise he didn’t explicitly try for anyone to like him besides the Crucible Knights and that was so he could get into the peace talks since they seemed the closest Law without consorting with criminals or,, u know the Dozens,,, neither of which he was a fan of (he had some drawbacks with the knights ofc but less than the others) Which is probably why he ended up with some places only seeing him as a hero rather than a champion And some places,, not liking him much at all

[jynandor]

tlj spoilers under cut

WARNING: IF YOU’RE ON MOBILE AND YOU HAVENT SEEN THE MOVIE PLEASE DON’T SCROLL DOWN MY BLOG BECAUSE "READ MORE" DOESNT WORK!!!

-----------

this is very messy okay? i just came back

i don’t even know where to begin honestly. i think overall it was a good movie, but i personally failed to connect with some storylines and some characters’ actions. btw, this has absolutely nothing to do with rey’s parentage; i left that whole discourse a long time ago so i stopped caring. 

so to put some highlights first

- LEIA ORGANA USING THE FORCE. LEIA ORGANA DOING ANYTHING, WHAT A LEGEND

- MY LORD AND SAVIOR GARETH EDWARDS that little cameo made me smile 

- final scene between luke and kylo even though i knew luke wasnt actually present, it was aesthetically pleasing

- binary sunset :(

- LUKE AND LEIA REUNITING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

- connix <3

- i liked crait wolves and those creatures from canto bight (man, i cant remember what they are called…um… damn), caretakers were very cute

things that made go what the hell am i watching

- luke milking that space cow, why (even though i laughed)

- porgs in general, they were cute but slightly annoying

- some of the humor was a bit dull but then again i liked few scenes

aaaaaaand things that got me completely underwhelmed (sadly, plenty of things)

- paige tico dying after like 5 minutes, a big disappointment but i knew this would happen. maybe storywise it made sense because it was something that drove rose’s story later on. still i wish she didnt die so quickly (but she was also a hero ♥)

- i expected a lot more from kylo’s turn :/ so the whole thing didn’t work for me. that being said...

- luke deciding to kill ben was OOC for him (i hope someone asks mark about this soon because i am 99,99% sure he agrees)

- kylo’s shirtless scene was unnecessary

- rey and kylo’s connection, so many of their scenes genuinely made me cringe. i also felt like rey’s own development got slightly sidelined and the movie focused more on her relationship with kylo.

- snoke’s death and  everything about him. i just went …..THAT’S IT? okay… 

- i said i didnt care about rey’s parentage and, while that’s true, i dont see how addressing who her parents were “payed off emotionally” but okay rian, you do you. im saying this bc most fans (me too, at some point last year but not anymore) had a lot of expectations set from TFA, interviews etc…. you know what i mean by this. let me clear it up right away: her parents being some random dead people doesnt make me love rey less, she’s amazing no matter who she is. i just wish things were handled way differently before this movie. i didnt see the point in so much mystery rather than having your audience guess and speculate for two whole years. also the way kylo spoke to her in that scene was a clear example of emotional abuse (”your parents are dead, they never cared, you have nothing and no one left but me”)

- DJ’s “turn” again finn and rose was predictable. his character wasn’t even necessary for the plot

- i wasn’t a big fan of how poe’s character was handled

- finn/rose forced romance

- phasma, oh my god… do i need to say this? DO I NEED TO SAY THIS?  gwen baby i am so sorry :/ she deserved a lot better

- hux took too much screentime again, why is he still around? who the fuck cares?  

and…. finally (doesnt fit in any “category”)

- luke’s death.  BECAUSE sadly i was indirectly spoiled about it earlier.... but even if i wasnt, it wouldn’t have surprised me :(

…

so uh, 7/10 from me… or 7.5/10? 

EDIT: 3/10 it’s what she deserves. 

i will probably watch another time, hopefully i will change my mind about some stuff. idk this “review” (again, incoherent MESS of a post) might seem a little harsh but i expected a lot more. yes, that’s it. nope didnt change my mind, it’s even worse.

EDIT 2: so a lot of people seem to think kylo must’ve lied to rey about her parents. which is plausible, it could be that he did. but you know what? even though i am not a fan of the way they resolved this in TLJ, i’d  be pretty annoyed if they went “HAH! GOTCHA! KYLO LIED” two years from now. it would be redundant and even worse than what we got. i dont even want to talk about this issue again, but this is how i feel right now.

[franruto]

sasuke + the mountain goats songs

if this read more doesnt work on mobile im so sorry

so i was thinking about how many tmg songs could be applied to sasuke and i decided to make a list. tmg has an absurd number of songs and im doing this just from my fave albuns + a quick check so this list very probably isnt even complete. also, some of these songs are more sns than just sasuke but o well. if u have suggestions to add lmk

- no children: this might be the most sasuke song ever made. im going to put just the last part here but please listen to the whole song

I am drowning, there is no sign of land You are coming down with me, hand in unlovable hand And I hope you die I hope we both die

- autoclave: i lov this one and all of it is sasuke too so listen to the whole thing

When I try to open up to you, I get completely lost Houses swallowed by the earth, windows thick with frost And I reach deep down within but the pathways twist and turn And there's no light anymore and nothing left to burn I am this great, unstable mass of blood and foam And no emotion that's worth having could call my heart its home

- heel turn 2:

Get stomped like a snake Lie down in the dirt Cling to my convictions Even when I get hurt

(...)

Spend too much of my life Now trying to play fair Throw my better self overboard Shoot at him when he comes up for air Come unhinged Get revenge (...) Let all the trash rain down From way up in the rafters I’m walking out of here in one piece Don’t care what comes after Drive the wedge Torch the bridge

- game shows touch our lives: gives me sad sns feelings

Shadows crawled across the living room's length I held onto you with a desperate strength With everything With everything in me And I handed you a drink of the lovely little thing On which our survival depends People say friends don't destroy one another What do they know about friends? Thunderclouds forming, cream white moon Everything's going to be okay soon Maybe tomorrow Maybe the next day 

- oceanographer’s choice: this is one so fucking sad, it makes me think about sasuke trying to break his bond with naruto 

I don't know why it's gotten harder to keep myself away Thought I'd finally beat the feeling back, it all came back today And then we fell down and we locked arms, we knocked the dresser over as we rolled across the floor I don't mean it when I tell you that I don't love you anymore Look at that, would you look at that? The way the ceiling starts to swerve What will I do when I don't have you? When I finally get what I deserve

- up the wolves: i really like this one for sasuke & i love john darnielle’s comment on it too so i’m going to include it here. “Part of me wants to say look it's about revenge, but as soon as I say that... no, that's not quite it. Part of me wants to say it's about the satisfaction of not needing revenge... and I say no, thats some new age stuff. I think it's a song about the moment in your quest for revenge when you learn to embrace the futility of it. The moment when you know that the thing you want is ridiculous and pompous and a terrible thing to want anyway. The direction in which you're headed is not the direction in which you want to go, yet you're going to head that way a while longer anyway cause that's just the kind of person you are.”

There's bound to be a ghost at the back of your closet No matter where you live There'll always be a few things, maybe several things That you're going to find really difficult to forgive

(...)

I'm going to get myself in fighting trim Scope out every angle of unfair advantage I'm going to bribe the officials, I'm going to kill all the judges It's going to take you people years to recover from all of the damage

- cry for judas: listen............

Some things you do just to see How bad they'll make you feel Sometimes you try to freeze time 'Til the slots are a blur of spinning wheels But I am just a broken machine And I do things that I don't really mean Long black night, morning frost I'm still here, but all is lost

(...)

Sad and angry, can't learn how to behave Still won't know how in the darkness of the grave

- outer scorpion squadron: ok this is darnielle’s comment on it again and he says it better than i could: “This is a song (...) for people like me, who have a strong indwelling evidently permanent urge to damage themselves or cut themselves off prior to some accomplishment or arrival at a place of comfort and happiness. I didn't succeed in my goal to not bum everyone out, but... In short, this is a song about trauma, and surviving it”.

If you really want to conjure up a ghost Cultivate a space for the things that hurt you most Rake the sands until they surface Bind their tiny eyes Stake out your position, let your armor fall Stay put 'till they find you, it won't take long at all Rake the sands until they surface Up they come, gone translucent They're coming up no matter what Fools rush in and the doors slam shut Ghosts of my childhood, stay with me, if you will Find a place where there's water, hold you under 'till you're still Rake the sands until they surface Don't let anybody call them ugly 

- the young thousands: ok this one makes me think of pre timeskip sasuke who continues to live in his parents house and also has a lot coming in his future

Boats ease into the harbor bearing real suspicious cargo And the sunlight on the water sets a switch off in your brain The things that you've got coming will consume you There's someone waiting out there in an alley with a chain The ghosts that haunt your building are prepared to take on substance And the dull pain that you live with isn't getting any duller There's a closet full of almost-pristine videotape Documenting sordid little scenes in living color (...) The things that you've got coming will do things that you're afraid to There is someone waiting out there with a mouthful of surprises The ghosts that haunt your building have been learning how to breathe They scan the hallways nightly vainly searching for a sign

- hebrews 11:40: this is one of my faves tmg lyrics. think sasuke w/ orochimaru period

Bright candles in the manor Where the curse takes hold Bodies reassembling down where the worms crawl Make your own friends when the world's gone cold It gets dark and then I feel certain I am going to rise again If not by faith, then by the sword I'm going to be restored Build fires to keep the beacon flashing where the earth lies flat Blood calls to blood as the hours draw down, invent my own family if it comes to that Hold them close, hold them near Tell them no one's ever going to hurt them here

- deuteronomy 2:10: this one is esp relevant bc of The Last Uchiha stuff

Feel in my bones just what the future has in store

I pace in circles So the camera will see Look hard at my stripes There'll be no more after me

I have no fear of anyone I'm dumb and wild and free I am a flightless bird And there'll be no more after me

I sang all night The moon shone on me through the trees No brothers left And there'll be no more after me

- absolute lithops effect: i like to think of this one as sasuke healing

After one long season of waiting After one long season of wanting I am breaking open My insides are pink and raw And it hurts me when I move my jaw But I am taking tiny steps forward

After one blind season alone in here After one long, sweltering summer I'm going to find the exit And I will go to the house of a friend I know And I will let myself forget With a little water and a little bit of sunlight And a little bit of tender mercy, tender mercy

- rain in soho: i might just be indulging here because i listen to this song 10 times a day and its overall feel reminds me of sasuke

No promise sweeter than a blood pact Nothing harder to go through with than a vanishing act No morning colder than the first frost No friends closer than the ones we've lost Nothing sharper than a serpent's tooth Nothing harder than the gospel truth Though you repent and don sackcloth and try to make nice You can't cross the same river twice

(...)

No town more barren than our town No haven safer than the one they tore down No greater love than to lay my life down for a friend No sweeter pleasure than to see the credits clear through to the end

ok so this is the moment where i give up because holy shit. some honorable mentions that im too lazy to go into detail (keep in mind some of those have just like one line that reminds me sasuke): this year, the house that dripped blood, old college try, choked out (i SWEAR no double meaning intended), prowl great cain, magpie, heretic pride, all up the seething coast

@yondaiime hello im tagging u here 

[creion]

no one asked but heres some more show choir au (under the cut. sorry mobile users lol tumblr needs to update the mobile app)

also these are messages sent to @illbeursafety​ *finger guns*

---

now imagine that they make it to #NATIONALS like dallons impressed with himself cuz he wasnt taking the club seriously AT ALL like he was only doing it just so brendon would crawl out of his ass but he makes friends in there and its like a big ol' family and hes like

hes emo because he just never like

he found something that he didnt know was missing, as corny as that sounds

like he didnt know he was lonely didnt really get that he didnt have friends and didnt understand  what it felt like to belong

like sure he kind of had that in band because hey hes good at his instrument whatever that is but it felt too like. not that fun to him. he didnt LOVE it

and he walks into show choir expecting to fucking HATE it like "lol this is what all the queers do isnt it" but he doesnt like he doesnt immediately hate it

and after hes #chosen to be next to brendon in competitions like singing duets with him and being the other lead hes like. for one thing he isnt used to the attention he isnt used to so many people believing in him and looking up to him and he isnt used to actually being able to show everyone that, hey, hes talented

like ok sure objectively brendons still wildly more talented than he is but damn [[side note: i dont mean irl i am staying out of that mess i love urie and weekes both they are my daddies but thats how this au is going ok]]

over time he starts CARING about it

like at first he just half assed it and that got them through the state competition and BRENDON crawls up his ass like NO you have to put your ALL into this like a chain is only as strong as its weakest link

so when the like. i think nevada is in the pacific southwest region so when that specific region's competition comes up he actually goes for it and when they win hes like. gobsmacked because it ust?? feels so good to finally win ? like he actually worked for it this time instead of coasting by on his looks and talent

its so satisfying to him and hes like GOD DAMN IT I LOVE SHOW CHOIR like its just one of those things that he neer thought he'd love so much u know

anyways like

nationals

imagine after their last number theyre on stage and dallon and brendon are standing next to each other in the front of the group bc the last number was one of those PHENOMENAL show stopper sort of numbers like they had wicked choreography urie and dallon both belted out a bunch of gr8 notes

//You have to take a minute to close your eyes.

It's actually more like thirty seconds, since there’s, like, three other choirs that need to perform this evening, but that thirty seconds feels more like an eternity to you.

You can sense that Brendon's nearby, and, really, it's not so much as you're sensing that, but more like you know he's there, because that's where he's supposed to be. The number finishes with you and Brendon doing some sort of Superman pose next to each other, looking powerful and dynamic. 

The cheering of the crowd, which isn't a big one, by the way, sounds like white noise. If you weren't having a moment you'd probably have to be putting in earplugs, since they're just so loud, but, like you said, it's white noise. You're overwhelmed.

You're drenched in sweat, your hair is sticking to your forehead in the most uncomfortable way, and you're pretty sure that if your briefs were any further ridden up your butt crack right now, you'd be split in half. You can already feel the soreness in your throat from all the high notes you've been belting out for the past fifteen minutes, you can feel the way your muscles are aching from the rigorous dance routines, the way your brain is overloading from trying to sing while moving--which, even after nine months, you still ind difficult--and the real kicker to all of this is that you're pretty sure that this, right here, is the best moment of your life.//

WHAT FUCKING HURTS DALLON THOUGH IS THAT ITS OVER

FOR THE YEAR AT LEAST

like the competition season is over and theres only a few weeks until the school year is over and he literally like. spends a lot of the summer wondering if hes gonna be bale to do all of that over again the next year

but he can like after he auditions again and after he walks into the choir room for the first time the next year hes like yeah. this is it. until i graduate this is what im doing.

then scatter in brallon throughout that and bam u got it

[furiousharmonykryptonite-blog1]

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An elderly man stopped in the middle of the street with his car. I couldn't stop in time not to hit him. So we collided. Now my insurance company refuses to pay for storing the car while their adjustor and the other insurance adjuster come to look at the car. I think it is totalled, but not positive. My apartment building has an ordinance against putting crashed cars in the parking lot. I live in West Los Angeles, which is highly populated, and I will get a ticket if I leave it on the street. It is not driveable. The storage places here cost $100 per day. I don't know what to do. Is there a car storage facility in West Los Angeles that can charge me a small amount until the adjusters come to look at it?""

""How much does Motorcycle Insurance cost in Ontario, Canada or in your area?""

Hi, I'm planning to get either a Motorcycle License or a Private Aircraft License. I know for a fact that the minimum cost of a Private Aircraft License is around $10,000 CND for ground school, 40 hours in an airplane and your examination. From then on its around $120 CND for an hour in a Cessna. My question is, How much is a Motorcycle insurance? I heard its a lot and that is the reason why i'm choosing between these two licenses. - I am 16 (17 in December) - Grade 11 (86% avg) - Toronto, ONtario - I have my g1 and so far no tickets or accidents -Planning to get either a 2008 Ninja 250R or Honda CBR125R Thanks So how much will insurance will cost me?""

Best Insurance policy for children?

Pls help me in selecting the best insurance policy for children. Should I go with LIC or private insurances like HDFC Life, Aviva, Max Newyork ?? Is unit linked policy reliable ?""

How much would insurance be for a '69 mustang for a 17 year old with a 3.6 gpa?

Yeah, I really want a mustang but my parents are killing me about the insurance. So i want to find out how much it really is so I can tell them if i can pay for it or not. I really want this car, I know alot about cars so i'm not an idiot , i know what i'm doing. I just need to know. Thanks alot.""

Can auto insurance company refuse to pay claims if Company Vehicle?

I have a company vehicle for 5 years now and ok to use for personal needs. Now they have come out with new company policy. It states if in an accident on weekends or whenever it is used for personal reasons and I am in an at fault accident all damages and claims will be denied. Another words if I get in a wreck and do damages to vehicles, bodily injury or whatever while driving after work hours or weekends their insurance company will not pay any claims. It states I am responsible for all damages if using for personal use in an at fault accident. Question is can they actually do that. Can their insurance legally deny all claims due to the fact the I was using the vehicle outside of normal hours and for personal use.""

Insurance for my baby?

I am researching insurance options for my baby. The baby will be born in few months. I know that the baby will be insured 30 days after he is born. This is my question. Should I find an individual plan for the baby or should I add the baby to my insurance? I did not even know one can add the baby to an existing insurance. I am just trying to find the best deal. If I have to have an individual plan for the baby, I am looking only for Blue Cross or Blue Shield of California (PPO only). If you have any suggestions, please share. Thank you""

Car insurance for teens !! Help?

So I live in Benton Louisiana and I'm 15. I'm about to turn 16 and my mon said that she won't let me drive or get me a car because insurance is expensive. How much is insurance for 16 year olds?! It just really makes me mad because at first she was all for it and said that she would get me a car since she ruined my 15th birthday. Now, she just let my hopes down once again. That's why I want to know like about how much is car insurance for teens. Thank you!!""

Cheapest car to insure?

Hi Everyone, im 21 male from ontario canada and im looking at getting my frist car, I've been driving my parents mini van for the last few years as I am a college student and live with then when him home, which isnt very often because im in school all year round. So im wondering, what are some cheaper cars to insure, both new and used? Thanks""

Will my auto insurance rates increase if I put a claim in for the theft of my keys?

My purse (along with car keys) was stolen a few weeks ago. I called Toyota to get an approximation as to how much it would cost to replace the keys (just over $350 for a remote and transmitter key). My mom (I'm still under my parent's insurance) contacted our insurance agency and they said they would cover it and our rates would not increase. I figured the car should be rekeyed too since the thieves had my address. I went to Toyota to get a written estimate - they were having trouble printing off a written estimate and wrote it on a card - rekeying would be just over $350 so keys+rekeying = just over $700. My mom sent my dad today to get it written on company letterhead, etc. and he came back with an over $2,000 estimate - it looks like they actually want to pull the locks out and replace a computer??? So my mom is saying we're not putting in a claim because our insurance rates will increase (even though no one has said they would increase) in the meantime I have to worry about my car being stolen (I have a club on it), people going into it, etc. So, typically, would one's auto insurance rates increase after putting in a claim for theft? Does it make a difference if it's $700 or $2,000? I would just figure the insurance company wants your car to be as safe as you do so you don't have to claim even more for a stolen car.""

Insurance on small cars example punto ?

hey everyone iv just passed my theory test today and i want to buy a punto for my fist car i need advice on de price off tax and insurance like for example i would probably purchase any punto from 1997 -2001 and im 19 does anyone av any advice for me cause i don wanna be ripped off thanks for readin you guys xxxxxxxxxxx

NO Car insurance! Will i get 6 points?

I was a named driver on my Dad's insurance, he had not paid one of the instalments for the insurance but did know! I was driving the car when i got pulled over. I did not no i had no insurance as i did not deal with the payments. Will i still get 6 points as i need my licence to get to university :(""

In what company can I buy cheap car insurance.everybody are very expensive.?

In what company can I buy cheap car insurance.everybody are very expensive.?

Can my dad by a motorcycle and put it under his insurance for me to drive?

ok im conused about this whole thing i know for a 16 year old motorcycle insurance is crazy. So how would this work my dads been driving all his life(Harley-Davidson) and his insurance is cheap, now for me its gonna be alot of money so can he buy the bike and put it under his name then i just drive it so then it wont be so much $ on me? can this work or is that illegal for me to be driving someone elses bike? is there anyway like i stated above to make my insurance cheaper if this doesnt work?""

Insurance Price for a teen driving a Toyota Celica?

I'm 14 about to turn 15 and get my restricted. I've been looking for a car and I found a 2000 Toyota Celica GT for $5,000 list price which is well within my price range. The car is a manual which I'm fine with, The only thing I'm worried about is the insurance cost for a teen driving a sports car and wanted your opinion on the price of insurance and on how good of a first car a Toyota Celica would be. Thanks for any and all help, Grant""

What kind of vehicle would have the cheapest insurance?

I need to buy a new car, and have pretty high insurance. I was wondering what types of vehicles would have the cheapest insurance for a newer car (2000+)

Health insurance info?

I'm trying find my boyfriend affordable health insurance that also covers his want/need for counseling. We live in Georgia and I need some advice since I'm still currently considered a dependent for the time being. Thanks!

Can you buy Insurance to cover accidental injury only?

My kids have no health Insurance. Can i buy an Insurance which can cover them only for accidental injury caused by fall or skate boarding?

Is my credit card insurance enough for car rental?

I do not live in the US and do not have a car insurance policy in the US. I will rent a car when I visit and use my credit card to do so, but is the coverage that comes with the credit card use enough? Should I also purchase the rental company's policy?""

How can insurance companies offer zero premium medicare insurance?

Trying to help my mom sort out medicare vs medicare plan vs medicare gap insurance. Just got a post card from an insurance company that says there is zero premium. How is that possible? She still has to pay the premium for the Part B medicare, so does that simply go to the insurance company instead? Thanks""

What is the cheapest car and year range to insure for 18 year old?

My wife is 18 and got her license a few months back. What would be the cheapest car and of what year range, if insured in the USA? Which insurance companies insure 18 year olds, as I am aware most dont.""

WHAT COMPANY PROVIDE THE MOST AFFORDABLE CAR INSURANCE?

IM PAYING ABOUT 350 EVERY 6 MONTH I WAS WONDERING IF THERE MIGHT BE MORE AFFORDABLE CAR INSURANCE OUT THERE.

The best insurance for juniors?

i just turned 18 and i need to get new insurance any ideas????

What insurance group?

I'm interested in the Mazda RX8 but would like to know the insurance group without having to go for a quote. I'm not looking at a specific car just love the cars and am interested.

What kind of car insurances exist?

I know there is the one required by law, the liability, in which you'll cover another car's damage, and one where you ensure your own car (I don't know the specific name of it). What other kind of car insurances exist, and what are they called?""

Where can i find cheap moped insurance?

i have just applied for my license and i am going to get a 50cc moped (WK Wasp 50). i was looking around for the price of full comprehensive insurance and the cheapest is around 650... is this cheap? please advise me on any cheap firms thanks!

How to find free medical insurance?

i m cheap person who work partime and i can t afford to pay alot money so do u guys know any free medical insurance or dental ?

Would insurance be high on a 1999 pontiac firebird ws6 v8?

I am 19 years old and am currently paying about $130.00 a month for insurance. I am looking in to buying the car listed above, how much more would I be paying on insurance? I do believe it is considered a sport, but its a 1999. Maybe age makes a difference? I am curently driving a truck.""

How much is a low rate car insurance cost? how much would it be ??? ?

How much is a low rate car insurance cost? how much would it be ??? ?

What is insurance quote?

What is insurance quote?

Affordable car insurance?

Hi; I recently bought a 2002 Pontiac Grand Am from a used car dealership and need to find some insurance on the cheap side for it. What I'm really looking for is something that simply makes the car legal, as I can't really afford anything over $40. I'm 23 and living in Harrisburg Pennsylvania so any insurance you guys know of that fall into my parameters would be great; really need this car for work.""

Insurance price for a 16 year old?

I'm 16 live in Minnesota and i want to get a car maybe around $5000 just wanted to know how much a month it would cost for insurance with and without my parents

""Found a Cheaper Car Insurance, What to do?""

Dear Mate, My car insurance is just started 5 days ago. I have paid them around 300 as deposit. I have found somewhere more cheaper then recent one. If I want to finish my policy with them, How much do they Refund me. Please help me if you knows. Thanks""

How much does insurance range to for motorcycles?

How much does insurance range to for motorcycles?

Car insurance car location?

Hi, im looking to buy a car that i would occassionally use. i work in birmingham and live in the city centre but need a car for oncall. when im not oncall i get the train. when i dont need the car i would leave it in nottingham with my parents where my dad would occassionally use it. the car would be kept more at the nottingham address than my birmingham one. insurance is cheaper at nottingham so can i put that as the car location even though it would sometimes be in birmingham. it sounds obvious but an insurance company has really confused me saying it must be in birmingham which makes no sense as the car would be kept more in nottz. ive been told insurance companies will try there hardness to avoid paying out say for example if the car was stolen. please help!""

Average cost of car insurance for 18yr old?

never been in an accident, driving a car over 10 years old and has good grades?""

What color cars are cheaper to insure?

its bugging me lol. i would like to know what colors are considered aggressive like red,black ect. and what colors they wont rape you over. so a list of aggressive colors and a list of calm colors. thank you for your help!""

Good classic car insurance proposers?

i have a Ford Fiesta L 1979 and l would like to know some cheep classic car insurence

What is the cheapest & best health insurance plan in the state of New York.?

I live in Great Neck. Need insurance for a family of four two adults around their 30's, and two young boys. -Dental Insurance -Health Insurance -Eye Insurance""

Auto insurance quotes?

Auto insurance quotes?

What is the best kind of health insurance for fertility treatment?

Shopping for insurance and would like an honest answer from the people. I know I will be seeing a fertility specialist and doing lots of lab tests. Does anyone know which kind of insurance would best fit my needs? fyi, I live in northern California. Would a health savings account work?""

What kind of vehicle would have the cheapest insurance?

I need to buy a new car, and have pretty high insurance. I was wondering what types of vehicles would have the cheapest insurance for a newer car (2000+)

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/cheaper-put-your-parents-car-insurance-get-own-daryl-preisentanz"