#i put a lot of tags lol
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be-afraid-ofart · 1 year ago
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inkskinned · 1 year ago
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i got rickrolled today but it didn't work because i have adblocker installed, so youtube just told me i violated the terms of service. yesterday i was trying to edit a picture as a joke for my girlfriend, and google made me check a box to prove i'm human because i wasn't "searching normally".
it isn't just that capitalism is killing fun and whimsy, it is that any element of entertainment or joy is being fed upon by this mosquito body, one that will suck you dry at any vulnerability.
do you want to meet new friends in your city? download this app, visit our website, sign up for our email list. pay for this class on making a terrarium, on candlemaking, on cooking. it will be 90 dollars a session. you can go to group fitness, but only under our specific gym membership. solve the puzzle, sign up for our puzzle-of-the-month-club. what is a club if not just a paid opportunity - you are all paying for the same thing, which makes you a community.
but you're like me, i know it - you're careful, you try the library meetings and the stuff at the local school and all of that. the problem is that you kind of want really specific opportunities that used to exist. you are so grateful for libraries and the publicly-funded things: they are, however, an exception - and everything they have, they've fought tooth-and-nail to protect. you read a headline about how in many other states, libraries have virtually nothing left.
do you want to meet up with your friends afterwards? gift your friends the discord app. you can choose to go to a cafe (buy a coffee, at least), a bar (money, alcohol) or you can all stay in and catch a movie (streaming) or you can all stay in bed (rent. don't get me started) and scream (noise complaint. ticket at least).
you want to read a new book, but the book has to have 124 buzzwords from tiktok readers that are, like, weirdly horny. you can purchase this audiobook on audible! your podcast isn't on spotify, it's on its own server, pay for a different site. fuck, at least you're supporting artists you like. the art museum just raised their ticket price. once, they had a temporary exhibit that acknowledged that ~85% of their permanent art galleries were from cis white men, and that they had thousands of works by women (even famous women, like frida! georgia o'keefe!) just rotting in their basement. that exhibit lasted for 3 months and then they put everything away again.
walmart proudly supports this strip of land by the street! here are some flowers with wilting leaves. its employees have to pay out-of-pocket for their uniforms. my friend once got fined by the city because she organized a community pick-up of the riverfront, which was technically private property.
no, you cannot afford to take that dance class, neither can i. by the way - i'm a teacher. i'm absolutely not saying "educators shouldn't be paid fairly." i'm saying that when i taught classes, renting a studio went from 20 bucks an hour to 180 in the span of 6 months. no significant changes to the studio were made, except they now list the place as updated and friendly. the heat still doesn't work in the building. i have literally never seen the landlord who ignores my emails. recently they've been renting it out at night as an "unusual nightclub; a once-in-a-lifetime close-knit party." they spent some of those 180 dollars on LEDs and called it renovating. the high heels they invite in have been ruining the marley.
do you want to experience the old internet? do you want to play flash games or get back the temporary joy of club penguin? you can, you just need to pay for it. i have a weird, neurodivergent obsession with occasionally checking in to watch the downfall and NFT-ification of neopets. if i'm honest with you all - i never got into webkins, my family didn't have the money to buy me a pointless elephant. people forget that "being poor" can mean literally "if i buy you that toy, i can't afford rent."
you and i don't have time to make good food, and we don't have the budget for it. we are not gonna be able to host dinner parties, we're not made of money, kid. do you want some kind of 3rd space? a space that isn't home or work or school? you could try being online, but - what places actually exist for you? tiktok counts as social media because you see other people on it, not because they actually talk to you.
there was a local winter tradition of sledding down the hill at my school. kids would use pizza boxes and jackets and whatever worked, howling and laughing. back in september, they made a big announcement that this time, rules were changing, and everyone must pay 10 dollars to participate. when im not scared shitless, i kind of appreciate the environmental irony - it hasn't gone below 40. so much for snow & joyriding.
i saw a bulletin for a local dogwalking group and, nervous about making a good first impression, showed up early. the first guy there grimaced at me. "sorry," he said. "there's a 30-dollar buy-in fee." i thought he was joking. wait. for what? the group doesn't offer anything except friendship and people with whom to walk around the city.
he didn't know the answer. just shrugged at me. "you know," he said. "these days, everything costs money."
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girpgorp · 8 months ago
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decided my fetal kwamis deserved a little lore
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havi-fart · 10 months ago
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HAPPY PRIDE MONTH YAAYYYY
to fight my artblock i decided to redraw some gerard p donelan comics as ds9. but once i started i could not stop....
so heres all deep space 9 of them. lol. again the poses and captions are lifted straight from his comics all i did was put space guys on there! please enjoy
(id in alt text btw!)
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off-mozzarella · 1 month ago
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If you saw me posting this 30 times no you didn't ♡
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dreamsy990 · 1 month ago
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drew some of my fav ody designs! wasnt originally meant to be also replicating the styles but thats sort of just how my brain works. except i didnt copy the lineart styles of anyone here so its DEFINITELY a bit uncanny for a couple of these (LOOKING AT YOU QINNY IM SO SORRY) but whatever
the designs featured here (from left to right) belong to: me, @gigizetz, @neal-illustrator, @irunaki, @bigidiotenergytm, @qinnyanimation, and @foopsie-daisy
#WAUGHHH IM SO NERVOUS TAGGING PEOPLE COOLER THAN ME#HEAD IN HANDS HEAD IN HANDS I NEED TO STOP PANICKING OVER STUFF LIKE THIS#bc like I KNOW THEYRE JUST PEOPLE. I WOULD BE SO HYPE IF SOMEONE DREW MY ODY ID LOVE TO BE TAGGED IN THAT.#BUT WHAT IF I AM SHOT. WITH A GUN. gfrdfvb vfrdedrf#i am a very normal non anxiety having person i swear guys#worst thing i did here was have odys hands very visible for the qinny one. because i didnt realize the way they draw hands is very realisti#BUT THEIR WHOLE STYLE HAS REALLY REALISTIC ANATOMY I SHOULVE KNOWN#irunakis style is SO fun to draw in bc its a lot like some of my older art so its very familiar yk yk i wasnt worrying too much about makin#-things accurate. but i think that accidentally made me too comfortable and so i ended up straying a bit too much#i think a lot of irunaki and qinnys styles specifically is in the lineart. so me using my normal style of lines makes them less recognizabl#anyways. neals odysseus i have shit talked in private (its a good design it just feels uncanny w/ jorges voice to me) but hes really-#-interesting to draw. i wanna do style studies on neal their characters have a very. idk animated feels like the wrong word but like.#something like animated. feeling to them. theyre very distinct in shape i wanna do studies thats it#bigidiotenergy i found this morning while FINALLY looking at cloudysseus art and instantly fell in love w their design#i need to ruffle his hair. hes so silly. absolutely incredible design. but GOD was the style a nightmare#it was too late id already comitted to trying to replicate the styles. but ohhh my god its so far from my own it was so hard#theres so much detail in places i dont normally put any at all#and its like. WAUGH its scary i need to do anatomy studies in general maybe#uhh havent commented on the gigi one. he was really easy to draw though lol. weirdly enough gigis style was close enough to my current one-#-that i didnt have any trouble whatsoever? and i think its the most accurate too but only because of the lineart styles being similar lol#ALSO NOT TO PLAY FAVORITES BUT FOOP ODYSSEUS IS MY FAVORITE#I LOVE HIMMM I LOVE HIS SILLY SHAPES HE LOOKS LIKE A WEIRD CAT KINDA. HE INTRIGUES ME.#my ody feels kinda lame next to all these guys gbfdefgbf#but oh well. hes ingrained into my mind now i cant change him at this point /silly i am actually happy w him but i might make changes#thaats thoughts on all of the odys here. anyways art tags time#doodles#odysseus#epic the musical#OH MY GOD EDIT I FORGOT TO DRAW FOOP ODYS SHOES. HEAD IN HANDS. IM SO SORRY
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bacchuschucklefuck · 9 months ago
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class swap design masterpost for convenience (from top to bottom: bard!riz, cleric!gorgug, sorcerer!kristen, barbarian!fig, artificer!adaine, and rogue!fabian)
#dimension 20#fantasy high#fhfy#fhsy#fhjy#riz gukgak#gorgug thistlespring#kristen applebees#figueroth faeth#adaine abernant#fabian seacaster#my class swap stuff! oh yeah I think I got a tag for that I'll call that#fh class quangle#gna slowly go back and get that tag on relevant posts too. for organization's sake#even tho I didnt really intend this blog to be that kinda blog lmao. we were all just gonna be out here dealin with that at our own pace#anyways uh! they! u know all the lore for the designs already I put em in tags. but otherwise this also collects like the#color keys kind of for these. mostly the things that change between designs#doing this did make me realise half of these are a Lot more consistent in color keys than the other half lol#like kristen's palette stays pretty much the same. and fabian's. the hit's mostly in the construction#a lot of this is overall like an exercise in remembering what high schoolers would actually wear and how to work in Costume pieces#on this point at least I straight up have No relevant recollection lmao all the basic education establishments I went to have uniforms#and outside of school I was. well kind of a shorts and tee guy. so#on that topic I feel like fabian's is the furthest stretch lmao. like if a guy in high school wears the same bright yellow raincoat#to school every day that's like. people would Not like that guy. fabian really is saved by being cute and a rogue#he will still have stans when he's deep in his fishing arc in junior year he's the manic pixie dream bf#anyways uh. things to do! stuff to get done. sleep first tho. have a good night lads#I have not caught new nsbu yet! seems I mostly catch them like two to three days late nowadays.#so please uhh. don't reply on my posts with nsbu spoilers? we are all excited and having fun but that's rude#ok thank u. signing off for the day have a good night#!!
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hydrossity-zone · 3 months ago
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abbul
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shroomerr · 3 months ago
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Finally, my design for Mysterion!! this boy gave me so much heartache in the process of making this but its ok its all worth it for him <3
I also couldn't choose between the version with hair or without hair, so here's the one without under the cut (+ my initial drafts for his design):
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#south park#south park fanart#south park the fractured but whole#tfbw#south park tfbw#mysterion#kenny mccormick#shroomer's archives: south park#shroomer's art !#shroomer's finished art !#time for me to yap about my design process in the tags again#so yea. MYSTERION!!! just another different flavor of kenny#are you sick of seeing me draw him yet#anyways. i made the poncho follow the shape of an M to recreate the M on his original design on his chest#but i also have green lines on his undershirt that travel up his arms and onto his chest to recreate the shape of an M#if the hood were to ever be ripped off#gave him the sort of police utility belts because he was close to the police in his first episode#and also just because theyre cool lol#ALSO I STOLE THE SPRAY PAINTED QUESTION MARK ON HIS HOOD i really like how it looks i think it was vicchaosz here on tumblr who inspired me#made the poncho ragged because. yknow. he dies a lot. that thing is not gonna walk away in tip top shape.#kept most of the colors the same with only a few changes like his boots and his underpants (which i changed to shorts)#OH AND MY FAVORITE HAPPY ACCIDENT!!! the underside of his hood was too dark in contrast to his shorts so i added some lilac to lighten it u#and it ended up looking like when mysterion goes into his ghost form in the game AND ITS JUST. UGH. SUCH A COOL HAPPY ACCIDENT.#so yea: not only did it help with the contrast its also THEMATIC!!#i swear he's not shorter in the lineup hes just slouching#i love this feral ass pose i put him in#ok i think thats it if you read this far ily and i smooch you#mwah#i hope this post does well lol i put so much effort into this
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tomahachi12 · 5 months ago
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Meet the Doormans!
see I'm working on AU stuff lol
still no name for it though, but I'll figure that out eventually
Info about them down belooooow
Cyn "Cynthia" Swapped with - Uzi Age - 18 She was 6 years old when her mom died and the trauma from the event caused her to shut down and stop talking. She learned sign language from Noah so she could communicate. For anyone else that doesn't understand her, she'll either use text on her visor or a projected text box. She doesn't interact with anyone and prefers to keep to herself, the only one she really opens up to is her brother. He's the only one who can call her by her actual name, she'll ignore everyone else. Inherited her solver from her mom, which activated after her mom's passing. She's scared of Khan.
Noah Swapped with - No one! Rewritten for story Age 25 7 years older than Cyn. He was 13 when his mom died. No one knows why he's so tall. He took care of Cyn after their mother died. He learned sign language and taught it to Cyn. He's a member of the Worker Defense Force. Loves doing anything! boi stop hiding your pain and get help He wants his dad's approval, not only for himself, but for his sister as well. Does not have the Solver at least not yet
Khan Swapped with - No one! Rewritten for story. Leader of the Worker Defense Force and Outpost 3. Very stoic and closed off, especially after Alice died. After his wife died, he completely threw himself into his work, neglecting nearly everything else (including his kids ): ) Because of Cyn's strong resemblance to Alice, he can't bear to even look at her. He killed his wife.
Alice Swapped with - Nori Huge fukin nerd. Western movies were her favorite. Her pet-name for Khan was "Sheriff" She loved to play "dress up" especially with her kids. She was still part of the Solver Experiments, but did not cause the implosion, that was still Nori's doing. She had pretty bad Solver Moment when it took her over and she slaughtered an entire apartment block. She couldn't stop herself and begged Khan to kill her. She was 33 when she died.
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elsecrytt · 8 months ago
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okay but jjk somnophilia is like
gojo "please please pleaaaaase let me put it in while you're sleeping PLEASE i swear i'll make you cum i proooomise please let's try it once pleeaaase. YOU can put it in ME whenever you want!!! any time any place anything you want in any of my holes!! wake me up with it!! it'll be soooo hot" satoru
vs
nanami "i have kink charts for both of us and they have sliding scales and notes section for each one. we can mark hard boundaries for what state of consciousness we want for ourselves or our partners, giving or receiving, what sex acts, etc. we'll set up a safe word and a safe gesture and then we can start trying things out" kento
vs
geto "sorry i fell asleep while eating you out, it will happen again. no, i won't stop eating you out when i fall unconscious. just tear me off your pussy if you don't like it" suguru
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nevertheless-moving · 3 months ago
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So You Just Killed Palpatine
In Which, Much To Obi-Wan Kenobi's Surprise, While Dealing With The Consequences of One's Own Action's Can Be A Lot, It Isn't Always Entirely A Bad Thing
originally inspired by this and this from anon and husborth Part One, Part Two, Part Three ... Part Fo ... uh ... there's memes somewhere... Anyway Here's Part Five:
Obi-Wan blinked awake, head cloudy and body heavy, as if under unusually high gravity. But no, there was the all-too-recognizable ceiling of the temple healing halls, its mosaic ceiling drifting in lazy, clockwise circles.
What did I do this time? Wait, there was something I had to tell the rest of the Jedi...something important...
Oh dear, he was on the good painkillers, wasn't he?
“Obi-Wan?” someone familiar asked, voice and force presence ringing with a startling jab of hope.
“Bant?” he tried to reply, only to be met with burning pain in his throat. The only thing he managed to get out was an unintelligible coughing fit which pulled sharply at his gut.
“Take it easy!” she urged, moving into his blurry line of sight. “You’ve had extensive abdominal surgery, and your throat was — was crushed rather severely — it’s going to take more time for the grafts to heal.”
Obi-Wan nodded, chastened, before cautiously starting the process of pushing himself up in bed, Bant hovering nervously all the while. The effort made his muscles ache and the room spin faster, but things settled down once he was sitting up.
He looked around, sagging in relief at a small oily handprint on one of the otherwise sterile visitor chairs. Anakin had been here recently, and was in good enough health to be tinkering. Good, that was good. That was important.
He suddenly realized half his vision was obscured and sluggishly raised a hand to his face, only to find heavy cloth.
“I’m sorry, we weren’t able to save your eye,” Bant said softly. “Once you’re a little more healed we can discuss artificial or bioengineered replacement options.”
She plucked a cup off a counter overcrowded with a dizzying array of flowers. “Here, drink some of this if you’re feeling up to it, it’ll make talking a little easier.”
Obi-Wan accepted the drink, only to feel it slide out of numb hands. Bant gently closed her hands around his, helping to guide the drink to his lips. He grimaced at the taste.
“Bacta infused water,” she apologized. “You’re going to be drinking bacta infused liquids for some time, I’m afraid.”
A wave of exhaustion swept over him and Bant set the cup down as Obi-Wan sagged.
“Anakin?” he managed to rasp out.
“Anakin’s fine, he’s completely safe,” Bant said with a comforting squeeze of his shoulder. “He’ll be annoyed to know he missed you waking up, he very much wanted to be there.”
Obi-Wan was going to say something else, but sleep dragged him under first.
//
Obi-Wan opened his eyes — his eye — to the sight of Quinlan Vos scowling over a datapad. The dark spot on the left side of his vision was more noticeable than before. What the kriff did I do to myself?
He shifted, irritated at how lethargically his body responded. The pad fell to the ground with a clatter as Quinlan lurched towards the bed.
“Obi-Wan! Hold on, let me — you’re supposed to have the water before you try to talk.”
Quinlan helped hold up a cup and straw so Obi-Wan could take several short sips of the unpleasantly viscous and vaguely pineapple flavored water.
“How are you feeling?” Quinlan asked, hovering with uncharacteristic anxiousness.
Obi-Wan paused to think. “Weak,” he replied in a hoarse whisper. “How long have I been...”
Guilt flashed over Vos’s face. “You were in and out of Bacta tanks and surgery for a full two weeks. And then another week in an induced coma. And then another week in a self-healing trance. You had...a lot of internal injuries. I’m so sorry Obi-Wan—this is all my fault.”
Obi-Wan stared at Quinlan blankly for a moment. His face helped the memories to start trickling in.
"Yes..." he said slowly. "Yes — you knocked on my door... you said... Vos... please just... just tell me if I hallucinated anything — did I try to assassinate the Chancellor of the Republic?"
"I'd say you succeeded," Quinlan replied, half-smiling, half-grimacing.
"Did I — did we think he was a pedophile, only—”
He had to pause, throat burning as he fought a coughing fit. He swallowed more disgustingly flavored water before finishing the thought.
“—only to discover that he was in fact not sexually grooming Anakin, but was doing a number of other terrible things? And did he... did he — did he electrocute me...”
Obi-Wan’s voice trailed off and he took several more sips, throat filled with an uncomfortable fizzing sensation.
Quinlan nodded, wincing. “I mean parts of that you know better than me but yeah, that matches with what I understand.”
“Hm.” Obi-Wan finished the cup, mulling it over.
Quinlan Vos muttered something under his breath that Obi-Wan couldn't quite make out, but the word "dramatic" almost definitely featured.
Grey crept in around the corners of his vision, then black.
//
When he opened his eyes — his eye, he'd have to get used to that — next, he was greeted by a convenient and increasingly familiar cup at his bedside, as well as Master Windu. Obi-Wan quickly reached for the water, clutching it in both hands and taking a long drink.
Spurred on by the sight of the Master of the Order, he also reached for the urgent thought from earlier, wanting to get it out before he slipped back under —
“Chancellor Palpatine’s a Sith Lord!!”
The corners of Mace’s eyes crinkled. “Yes, Knight Kenobi," he said. "We’re aware of that now. You’ve proved it to be the case quite publicly. And ended the threat with remarkable... thoroughness.”
Obi-Wan head fell back. “A Sith Lord... the Chancellor!” he said in amazement. He was relieved to find his throat only barely twinging at his outburst.
“It truly stretches the imagination,” Mace agreed tolerantly.
“You’re telling me!” Obi-Wan took another long drink, head spinning.
Master Windu smoothed a crease from his robe before saying, with extreme delicacy, “I don't wish to pressure you into speaking before you've healed... but I admit, we’ve all been wondering how exactly you knew.”
"He force choked me and electrocuted me with Sith Lightning. Lighting! I thought that was a myth!” He drained the cup, hands shaking slightly.
“Yes,” Mace said quietly. “The healers were amazed you survived so long... let alone had the strength to fight back with such strength. We’re all extremely grateful to the Force for keeping you alive long enough for us to reach you.”
Obi-Wan made a mental note to feel grateful later, but his mental space was a bit of a mess at the moment, and he wasn't entirely certain he had filed it away correctly.
Master Windu sighed. “We would have been there sooner but I’m afraid none of us had any idea that you were going to confront a Sith.” A twinge of reproach crept into Windu's voice, but Obi-Wan set it aside along with the gratitude, to be examined at some later date. Ideally when his head felt less full of bantha wool.
“I had no idea,” Obi-Wan said numbly.
“Well you figured it out before the Council at least,” Mace replied, not without humor.
He couldn't help but snort. “Yes, because he shot lightning at me. I mean the force choking happened first but... lightning. Lightning!”
Lines formed between Master Windu's brows as he looked down at him. “As much as it pains me, I understand the risk assessment in not telling the High Council about a Sith Chancellor of the Republic, and goading a public fight was probably the best political move possible. But why start the confrontation so privately? It seemed rather — apologies, we can debrief on that when you're rested. I presume you were trying to get a confession about the droid and clone armies?”
Obi-Wan stared at Mace Windu wide-eyed.
“The what.”
The lines on Master Windu’s face deepened. “The... Kamonian clone army — the clones of Jango Fett...”
Obi-Wan’s eyes got wider. “Jango Fett—you mean Galidrean Jango Fett? The Jedi Killer? Palpatine made a clone army of him?”
Mace was silent for a long while, staring at Obi-Wan as though he were a particularly concerning puzzle. Obi-Wan chewed on the straw, mind wandering to whether or not it would be appropriate to ask Master Windu for a refill. As unpleasant as the flavor was, the fizzing did make his throat feel better.
“Knight Kenobi...” Mace finally said, speaking very slowly. “Do you remember why Chancellor Palpatine attacked you? The soul healers were quite certain the Sith Lord didn’t breach your inner shields but I think you might be suffering from some memory loss...”
His left eye itched; he resisted the urge to reach for it. Obi-Wan sank further into the cushions behind him, trying to think. Were there gaps in his memory? No, as usual, it all seemed a fairly clear path from Quinlan Vos knocking on his door to Obi-Wan ending up unconscious in the healing halls.
“Why Palpatine starting attacking?" he mused. "I suppose he wasn't going to just dance around forever — force, when he dodged my blaster shot, I simply could not understand how — it all happened so fast, but the next thing I knew I was pinned against the wall by a Dark —”
“Stop,” Master Windu ordered, raising his hand. He took a deep breath, radiating calm into the force.
“Do you remember what Palpatine said immediately before you shot him?” he asked patiently.
Obi-Wan shifted, feeling a pang of awkwardness as he muttered the answer guiltily under his breath.
“I’m sorry, Knight Kenobi, I didn’t quite catch that.”
“He said, ah, ‘you’re a Jedi’ and ‘you can’t kill an unarmed man.’”
Mace Windu stared at Obi-Wan.
There was a long pause while Obi-Wan fidgeted with the straw. He was starting to feel that perhaps his thoughts were even less clear than he had assumed them to be, and he was not handling this conversation particularly well.
Windu took another deep breath, radiating slightly less calm then before.
“Knight Kenobi. Why did you shoot the Chancellor of the Republic?”
“...I was trying to kill him,” Obi-Wan said, looking down.
“Why?”
Obi-Wan mumbled.
“Kenobi, speak clearly.”
“Well—ah—it actually turns out that I had misunderstood...I mean it had certainly seemed like...but he wasn’t actually...doing exactly what I thought...”
Windu stared at the recumbent Knight, who flushed.
It occurred to Obi-Wan for the first time, that, considering his plan of running away and becoming a bounty hunter was no longer possible nor, perhaps necessary, he could have misrepresented some of the timeline of events vis a vis sith slaying. Or better yet, pretended to have memory loss.
In his defense, the whole experience had been extremely unnerving! For all that weeks had clearly elapsed for everyone else, Obi-Wan was still processing Chancellor Palpatine shooting lightning out of his fingers.
A wave of exhaustion flooded over him, and he sank into it with relief, recognizing now the sickly sweet painkillers pulsing through his blood, clouding his thoughts and pulling him under.
//
Unfortunately, Mace Windu was still there when he woke up. Kriff.
He opened his mouth to try and backtrack, but Windu raised his hand, cutting off any poorly thought out explanations.
Master Windu took a deep breath, radiating very little calm by this point.
“Let me get this clear. Nod if yes, shake your head if no, did you go into the Chancellor’s office with the intent to assassinate the Chancellor of the Republic?”
Obi-Wan nodded.
“Did you know he was a Sith before you went into his office?”
Obi-Wan shook his head.
“Did you suspect he was a Sith?" Mace asked, slightly desperate.
Obi-Wan shook his head, cringing in apology.
“Before you went into the Chancellor’s office, were you aware that he was working with the Kaminoians to commission a clone army?”
Obi-Wan shook his head, biting back questions.
“Did you know he was working with the trade federation to commission a droid army?”
Another no.
“Did you suspect anything about these armies? Anything about a larger plot to destabilize the Republic? Destroy the Jedi? Become Emperor?”
Obi-Wan shook his head at each question, eyes widening with shock.
Mace Windu was radiating absolutely no calm at this point.
“Knight Kenobi...” he asked with a pained expression. “Did you... attempt to assassinate the Chancellor of the republic for personal reasons born out of some sort of misunderstanding? Only to inadvertently save the Republic?”
“I mean once I found out that he was a Sith... I of course changed tactics... and personal is a bit... but... that... Well. More or less sums the situation up, yes.”
Mace WIndu stared at Obi-Wan Kenobi, who wasn’t sure if he should keep talking or not. He didn't entirely trust his ability to explain things well at the moment, and ultimately decided to err on the side of silence.
Obi-Wan vaguely wished he could slip into sleep, but was fairly sure that it would be rude and possibly obvious to do twice in one conversation. His throat itched and he considered once again asking for more water, ultimately deciding against it.
Minutes passed, Master Windu staring blankly at the wall above Obi-Wan’s shoulders, while Obi-Wan's mind started to wander.
Who on earth had been paying to feed a clone army? How was Quinlan doing at getting Anakin to brush his teeth? Am I going to prison? Ohh that’s why the force was so insistent on killing Palpatine. Maybe that would help explain things to Master Windu? Though 'the force told me to' is  generally not considered a good excuse, in of itself, for acts of violence...though this is a rather unique situation...
Eventually Master Plo walked in, letting out a pleased noise.
“There he is! The Hero of the Republic!”
Mace Windu closed his eyes.
“Is that what they’re calling me?” Obi-Wan asked weakly, when it became clear Master Windu wasn’t ready to address everything wrong with that.
“Oh! Your drink is empty! Mace, Vokara was very clear with her instructions!” Master Plo scolded.
Mace Windu didn’t reply.
Plo-Koon snatched the cup, filling it up from a pitcher across the room and talking boisterously. “Well, the public is throwing around a lot of titles, but since you already had Sith Slayer...”
“Oh dear,” Obi-Wan said faintly, accepting the terrible water and drinking it for lack of anything better to do.
Plo-Koon patted him on the shoulder reassuringly. “I’m afraid to tell you it’s going to be very difficult for you to dodge commendations for your actions. Now that you’re awake you’re going to be faced with quite a backlog of requests for ceremonies and interviews—”
Obi-Wan choked. “Ceremonies?” he repeated in a higher pitch. He snuck a look at Master Windu. His eyes were closed, though he didn't appear to be meditating.
That probably wasn't a good sign.
"Yes, ceremonies," Plo-Koon said with far too much relish. "Turns out there are quite a lot of old traditions on the books regarding —"
Master Healer Vokara Che entered the room at brisk pace. “I thought I heard voices — I will remind you that before he is the ‘Sith Slayer Returned’ or ‘The True Chosen One’ or any such nonsense he is first and foremost my patient.”
She gave a sharp look to both Council Members. Plo-Koon nodded contritely while Master Windu continued to not say or do anything.
“The — no, no Anakin’s the chosen one —" Obi-Wan sputtered. "Anakin’s the reason — people aren’t actually calling me that, right?” he asked, drugs doing an admirable job at suppressing the panic he was fairly sure he was going to feel later. The device in Master Che's hand beeped faintly in answer.
“That and more, young Kenobi,” another familiar voice suddenly added, below his field of vision. “To collect your honors, expect to survive, you did not, mmn?”
“Master Yoda! No, I—I really didn’t expect... any honors... at most I was hoping that people would understand...” Obi-Wan protested weakly, shooting Windu a beseeching look which yet again failed to garner a response.
Che rolled her eyes, flipping a lek behind her somewhat sarcastically as she attached a glowing device to his chest. "Of course you didn't."
He barely refrained from wincing as several needles bit into him.
“Perhaps we would have had a better chance of understanding had you left us any of your evidence,” Master Koon chided gently.
“Put together the pieces we did, in our time,” Yoda added, hopping up on the nightstand to affectionately poke his shoulder.
Obi-Wan leaned back, feeling increasingly light-headed.
“Your vitals look good, all things considered,” Master Che said, sounding smug. “You should be back to getting into trouble in a year or so.”
Obi-Wan jerked his head in her direction, aghast. “A year?!”
“Busy, you will be, if work you wish. A seat, open there is for you. Comfortable chair, good company, important duties.”
Master Windu’s eyes squeezed further closed.
“What?” Obi-Wan asked, bewildered.
The healer scowled. “You were bleeding heavily into more or less all your major organs, including your brain. Really, it would be faster for me to list organs that weren't damaged. The fact that you recovered at all is only because Master Gallia conducted ill-advised on-scene amateur healing—"
"Is she alright?" Obi-Wan asked.
"—ill-advised, but successfully non-self-detrimental amateur healing, and I’m a miracle worker, and, credit where credit is due, you’re a stubborn bastard; not to mention your padawan has far too much energy to throw around — you really should consider enrolling him some healer’s courses—”
“Is he alright?” Obi-Wan asked, more urgently.
“He’s fine,” Master Plo reassured him with a gentle hand on the shoulder. “Everyone is fine except for you. He just tired himself out a few times, but Knight Vos has been keeping a close eye on him, and Anakin understands that the best thing at this point is to let you heal under your own power."
“Can I see him?” he asked. His voice was growing hoarse despite the dutifully refilled cup.
Vokara’s face softened. “Of course. He’ll be stopping by after class, in another hour or so. He’s been very punctual.”
“Master Windu? Alright are you? Silent, you have been.” Mace flinched upon being prodded with a stick. He opened his eyes, pinning Knight Kenobi with a steely gaze. Obi-Wan shrunk back, but Windu just sighed.
“You...” he trailed off. He stood up slowly, as if the movement pained him.
"I —" he said authoritatively, quieting the room. "—am taking a sabbatical. Call me when—” Windu gestured vaguely. “—you all sort out this mess.”
He walked out.
A long moment passed. “What did you tell him?” Master Plo finally asked in a hushed whisper.
"Ah..." Obi-Wan paused, limbs heavy with fatigue. "Well — you see— " He closed his eyes, feeling slightly cowardly as he did so.
//
When he opened them again, the light hadn't shifted nearly as much as other inbetweens, and his bandages hadn't been changed. Master Plo was still there, speaking quietly with Yoda.
Shit.
"Not too long that time," Vokara said, pleased. "I've lowered the dose on some of your medications, it should make it easier to stay awake."
"Oh. Good," Obi-Wan replied.
"Young Kenobi." Plo-Koon moved closer. "I dislike pressuring you in your current state, but... Master Windu appears to have left the temple. We were wondering..."
Obi-Wan opened his mouth, then closed it again, considering. His mind was, at last, starting to catch up with mouth. “He asked me... some questions. About how I came to suspect Palpatine," Obi-Wan said carefully. "It would appear I may have forgotten some details. About the evidence...Master Windu was — distressed regarding what I did and did not recall."
Vokara nodded. "Memory loss is completely understandable with the type of injuries you recieved."
"Alright, it is, if remember everything, you cannot," Yoda added kindly. "Our own investigations, ongoing are."
"So if I, ah, can't quite remember everything that led up to our fight," Obi-Wan asked, feeling guilty, but force, that blank look in Master Windu's eyes. "I mean I definitely remember the force willing me to decisively seek his end — really it was unusually loud about it," he added hastily. "If that helps."
Yoda nodded slowly. "This reason, understand we do. But, present to the public, perhaps not a good idea would be."
"Yes," Obi-Wan said. "I think — I'm not certain but I believe Quinlan Vos may have helped me collect some evidence..."
"Said as much, he did. Wait to confer with you, he wanted."
Obi-Wan sagged backwards with relief. "Yes. Yes! We had security concerns... Palpatine was so highly placed..." he trailed off.
"Considering Sifo-Dyas's and Count Dooku's entanglement in all this I can hardly blame you for hesitating to reach out to the council," Plo-Koon said, exhaustion audible even through his vocoder.
Obi-Wan choked on his spit; the following coughing fit was soon rewarded with a fresh bacta drink from Vokara.
Dooku?? Sifo-Dyas??
"Perhaps after I speak with him I'll be able to better assist with the current investigations," he offered hoarsely after recovering.
"Of course," Plo-Koon said gently. "Again, we apologize for interrogating you so early into your recovery but you really can't imagine the public and political scrutiny we've all been under —" He hesitated. "Master Windu was joking about taking a sabbatical right now, was he not?" he asked, sounding strained. "I know he's been under a lot of pressure, but surely you having memory issues couldn't—"
He was thankfully interrupted by the sound of small feet moving rapidly and a gangly body launching itself at highspeeds through the doorway.
Vokara just managed to snag the back of Anakin's robes before he crashed into Obi-Wan's medbed.
"Padawan Skywalker," she said, voice tight. "I believe I have mentioned the numerous injuries your master is recovering from and the need for —"
"Care in my movements," he said sheepishly. "Apologies, master, thank you."
"Anakin," Obi-Wan said, something in his chest relaxing at the sight of his dangling student.
"Obi-Wan." His padawan's eyes immediately started filling with tears.
Obi-Wan reached out instinctively. "Oh, Anakin."
"Give you a moment, we will," Yoda said, hobbling out, as Vokara sighed, then gently placed his pupil on the floor.
"Of course," Plo-Koon agreed. "Take all the time you need." He hurried to catch up with Yoda. Obi-Wan heard him begin to say, "Mace can't actually be leaving us to deal with this clusterfu—'' Then the door closed, and Anakin was weeping at his bedside.
"Shh," Obi-Wan said, tugging his padawan up, ignoring the protestations of his abdomen. "There, there, it will be alright."
Anakin crawled up, movements ginger and uncertain around Obi-Wan's numerous injuries. Together, they somehow managed to shift Obi-Wan enough for Anakin to fit beside him. His padawan shook with suppressed sobs, and parts of him were almost certainly hanging awkwardly off the edge of the bed.
Obi-Wan ran one hand through Anakin's hair, the other hand gently resting where he could reach without twisting too much, probably an elbow, though the boy was pointy enough these days that he couldn't be sure. If Obi-Wan was also shaking, well. There was reason enough.
"Sheev," Anakin finally said, oozing misery and an overwhelming tangle of other unpleasant emotions into the force.
"...I know he was your friend—" Obi-Wan said, after what was hopefully not too long a pause. This was another conversation that probably wouldn't be helped by painkillers.
"But he wasn't, really." Anakin curled up, even more miserable. "I know. I should let go."
The side of Obi-Wan's head throbbed. On second thought, painkillers were the way to go here. "That's not what I meant," he said. "He was a friend to you. He's gone now. Because of me, your master. And... I'm sure you've found out a lot while I've been asleep. I can't imagine a single padawan learner who wouldn't be struggling with their emotions right now. I'm struggling."
"I'm angry," Anakin said into his side. "Master, I'm so full of anger."
"You think I wasn't?" Obi-Wan asked dryly.
Anakin hiccuped a sob. "I'm angry at everyone."
"It's alright, Anakin," Obi-Wan soothed. "You'll work through it in time. I'll be here to help, whenever you want. Even when I'm the one you're angry with."
Anakin sobbed another minute, force presence roiling, before finally pulling himself in with a deep breath, and wiping his nose on the sheets. "You looked so cool when you were angry," he mumbled into Obi-Wan's side.
"Oh force," Obi-Wan groaned. "Of course there was holofootage. Of course you watched."
"Are you... still angry?" Anakin asked.
Fuck.
Obi-Wan tried to think of the right answer for a padawan learner. His head throbbed again.
"Honestly? Right now I'm mostly just tired. I feel like I was run over by a pack of bantha. It's never a good idea to try and deal with large emotional gnarls while you're this exhausted, remember that my young padawan."
"You've been asleep for years," Anakin whined. "How are you still tired?"
"Years?" he asked, amused.
"At least three," Anakin huffed, curling up against him.
Obi-Wan stroked his hair in peaceful silence for a moment.
"...Did you really smash in his skull with a metal chair to protect me?"
"I would do a lot of things to protect you," he confessed. "I'm sorry Anakin — I should have talked with you when I grew concerned with his behavior. I felt at the time I had to act swiftly, but I worry I only caused you more pain."
"It was a really cool fight."
"...Thank you, padawan."
"Can you teach me how to choke people with my ankles like that?" he sniffled.
Obi-Wan groaned internally. "Of course, as a Jedi, violence—" 
"Violence is our last resort," Anakin interrupted. "Right, yeah —but if it is needed—"
"—Such as when someone," Obi-Wan said over him. "After careful consideration, is found to be both politically insulated and positioned to commit great further harm—"
"Actually, I think you, the person who killed my trusted friend, lecturing me on why he was ultra especially irredeemably evil is traumatizing, even more traumatizing than all those holo compilations of you —"
"Oh force above, of course there's — oh. Oh no — please don't tell me—"
"The latest Jizz music," Anakin said, far too gleeful.
Obi-Wan groaned. Unfortunately, the extra movement in his chest triggered an admittedly ghastly sounding coughing fit and Anakin immediately lost the small edge of grace he had managed to cultivate during their back and forth.
"Master?" he asked urgently. "Master — hold on — I'll go get—"
"I'm fine," Obi-Wan rasped. "Any more of that —"
Anakin was already scrambling to fetch the pitcher.
Such a good boy, he thought affectionately, watching him pour and carry over a glass with the same care others might have when handling molten gold.
Obi-Wan drank with a reciprocal amount of delicacy, knowing his padawan was watching falcon-eyed for any wasted drops.
"Perhaps we should finish this conversation a little later," Obi-Wan said, once his airways calmed down.
Coughing should not be this exhausting.
"Of course," Anakin said, subdued, but he crawled back into bed readily enough when Obi-Wan patted it.
“Really, though —” Obi-Wan started to say, feeling it was duty to try and wrap up the lesson, but he was fortunately cut off before he was forced to figure out exactly what that lesson was.
“It’s alright,” Anakin chimed comfortingly. “We have time to talk about it, master. Can’t you tell?”
“Hm?” Obi-Wan replied, fighting the droop of his eyelids. 
“The force clears,” Anakin said, voice sonorous. “The dark retreats.”
“Oh.” Obi-Wan’s eyes started falling closed. “That’s nice.”
“So we have time. To figure out the rest.”
 “Very nice,” Obi-Wan murmured.
His padawan curled against him, force presence like ocean waves rocking him to sleep.
“The force says it’s going to be alright,” Anakin whispered, wonderingly. “It’s going to be alright.”
Obi-Wan smiled, then once again slipped back to sleep.
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vampiresinthedaylight · 18 days ago
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fake poster for It Gets Dark Too Early :-)
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deadtower · 2 years ago
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SO YOU WANT TO GET HIRED IS NOW LIVE ON ITCHIO! :D
This thirty-page guide is specifically written to help you navigate the world of working-class jobs. In it, I break down what to put in your resume (even if you have no experience at all!), how to dress for the interview, how to play the very confusing and nonsensical world of the working-class interview, and what happens after you drag yourself out of the crucible of the interview on your hands and knees.
It's helpful! It's for those of us who want to know how to get hired for something as menial as a food runner! It's not that long, so you don't need to carve out several hours to in-depth research! It's got jokes — and Brian David Gilbert references!
Please reblog to help reach as many people as possible, because sometimes we all need a little help adulting, and I'm here to share what I know with you, no judgment.
(If you want to make sure I am not forced to be victim to website fees, you can always just send me $3 on Ca$h@pp/V3nm0 (deadtower) or P@yp@l (paypal.me/deadtower) and email me at [email protected] with your username/when you sent the money, and I can send you the PDF that way! Also, if you can't afford it, no worries! Just shoot me an email and I'll send it to you discounted to as low as $1, or for free, depending on your financial situation. I want everyone to have access to the resources they deserve. <3)
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wtfforged · 7 months ago
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reattempt at some kind of sona/oc thing
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shaadowmilkcookie · 7 months ago
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One of Shadow Milk’s many prop replicas of himself, left behind. Even though the eyes are forever staring straight into the distance… Oddly enough, you still feel like you’re being watched.
But surely, though, it won’t hurt to take it home and touch up the colours, right? :)
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