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Echoes Of Nebula - MYG
Summary: Some people say that soulmates are made of the same star, a part of each other, one and the same. Stars donāt live forever, Yoongi found, but they do burn forever.Ā Ā
Genre: Exes to lovers, angst, fluff
Word Count: 5.5k
Warning(s): I don't think there's any, but let me know if I've missed! Any mistakes are my own, I proofread this one (1) time š
Masterlist
Notes: Eep, hello! Here's this lil thing I've been working on! Also, Yoongi and Mc didn't end on bad terms, their separation was somewhat mutual and they're all good :)). Feedback is always appreciated and encouraged! Enjoy!
āMake sure to eat, okay?āĀ
Snow swirls along the train tracks, following a gust as a train pulls into the station.Ā Thereās the bustle of people getting on and some getting off, bundled up warmly against the winter air. Some are going to see their families, some are taking a break from theirs. Some of them are stepping onto the train to never step foot in this town again. Some of them are just starting the first day of their adult lives.Ā
Min Yoongi? Heās moving to Seoul.Ā Ā
Your hands tuck the ends of his scarf securely into his sweater, staring at him like youāre trying to memorize his face. Your tears make tracks against your cheeks and dry quickly in the cold.Ā Ā
Min Yoongi is breaking up with his girlfriend.Ā Ā
āEat on time. And I donāt mean ramyeon because youāre too lazy to cook.ā You sniffle, and Yoongi wipes under your eyes with his thumbs. His glove has a hole in it. Not that it matters much right now, heās trying to get you to stop crying. āSleep on time, not when the sunās coming up.āĀ Ā
Min Yoongi is trying not to cry.Ā Ā
āOkay.ā He holds you still because heās trying to memorize your face. Heās got pictures, even the silly ones that he took and promised to delete, but they wonāt compare. āIām sorry.āĀ
He mustāve apologised for the millionth time. He doesnāt know what else to say.Ā Ā
You nod, smile ā sadly, tears on your waterline ā and, āI understand.ā for the millionth time.Ā Ā
Heās moving to Seoul, a long way away from Daegu.Ā Ā
A mixtape he made for shits and giggles took off and pulled him with it, and he has no choice but to follow. Your life is in this little town like a ship in a bottle and like a captain youāll go down with it. You canāt follow.Ā Ā
You both talked about it for days, compromising, bargaining, but in the end, your lives are going separate ways.Ā Ā
Stars either explode or implode when they die, and Yoongi feel like the star youāre both made of has finally reached its end. Itās imploding, folding in on itself and pulling everything with it.Ā Ā
He has five minutes left to take you in, how the tears shine in your eyes despite his efforts, the string of the necklace he won you at a fair peeking from behind your scarf. The way you smile and your eyes squint, the way he could feel the chill of your hands through his gloves.Ā Ā
He wants to stay right here in this moment and never leave if it meant he could take you in for five minutes till eternity.Ā Ā
āRemember to...ā His throat feels raw, but itās because of the cold and definitely not because heās crying. The lump in his throat makes it hard to swallow. He looks somewhere above your head to give himself a second, things like these are always hard for him. āRemember to dress for the weather.āĀ Ā
He squeezes your hands, takes a breath that he almost chokes on, and looks back at you. āDonāt skip meals. Get warm when you feel cold. Always carry an umbrella in July.āĀ Ā
Sometime later, Yoongi will wonder if the things he reminded you to do made much sense, if they mattered at all. Wonders if youād actually remember. The umbrella one is really important; you always forget.Ā Ā
He sat where he could see you when his five minutes were up and eternity never came. Waving from behind a glass and missing the warmth of you and the sound of your voice. He watches you wipe your tears and smile big and you walk alongside the train when it pulls off and then you run, and then, Yoongi could no longer see you.Ā Ā
Min Yoongi broke up with his girlfriend and left her in the middle of winter chasing a train.Ā Ā
July is always rainy.Ā
And every time it rains, Min Yoongi remembers the love he left in winter. He wonders if you remember to carry an umbrella. Itās been five years; he wonders if you remember him at all.Ā
He watches the rain splash into puddles and listens to the patter against his umbrella. Seoul bustles on, indifferent to the weather, its crowds meandering through the mid-summer downpour. Despite the seasonās warmth, a stray breeze slips past his collar and reminds him of colder days. Heās grateful his gloves no longer have holes.Ā
He walks along the sidewalk, carried by the crowdās flow without much thought.Ā Ā
Thereās not much that he wishes for anymore, not much he can wish for when heās got everything. He lives in a high rise, works at the top music production company. Sometimes itās a bit hard being the most sought-after producer in Seoul. Life has been good; he canāt complain. That mixtape opened doors he thought heād be knocking on forever, and heās worked hard to keep them open.Ā
Min Yoongi doesnāt need much of anything else.Ā
But on days like this, when the wind is just a little chilly and the skyās opened up and crying, he misses you.Ā
Sometimes he looks back on that day and feel guilt. He knows it was just as hard for you as it was for him, the pain in your eyes that you smiled through.Ā
For a while, heād call you every night and update you, made sure that you were doing well. For a while, heād keep up with you and made sure that youāre doing well. For a while, heād call you every now and then, see if youāre doing well.Ā Ā
For a while, it had been a while and life, and then five years slinked on by.Ā Ā
Yoongi sighs, and thereās guilt in it. He got busy, as one gets being a producer in Seoul with a shit ton of expectations. Heās changed phones over the years, lost your contact, and he got busy.Ā
Of course, heās dated ā mostly blind dates his friends set him up on ā and heās tried his best to push forward. Thereās no point living in the past, heās sure youāve moved on and on by now. Sometimes heās fine, and sometimes heās back on that train station platform, wishing heād begged you to come with him.Ā
It wouldāve been the selfish thing. It wouldnāt have been fair to you had he done that. When he got to Seoul, heād buried himself so deep into his work he barely found himself. He wouldāve dragged you out here, made you give up everything just to sit on the side-lines.Ā Ā
He misses you sometimes, anyways. Heās forgotten the sound of your laugh, but he still remembers the way your nose scrunches when you do. Heās forgotten the scent of your favourite perfume, but he remembers the way you lit up when he saved up and bought you a bottle forever ago.Ā
Min Yoongi wonders if you remember him at all.Ā
As Yoongi turns the corner, his umbrella catches a gust of wind and flips inside out. He fights with it for a moment before giving up, letting the rain soak his hair and the front of his jacket and jeans. He canāt help but laugh at the irony, standing there drenched, remembering the countless times he reminded you to carry an umbrella.Ā
In the distance, he spots a small cafĆ© and decides to seek shelter. The bell above the door jingles as he enters, and the warm, cozy atmosphere wraps around him like a comforting hug. He shakes off his umbrella ā finally pulling it back down ā and steps up to the counter, ordering a hot coffee to chase away the chill.Ā
As he waits, his eyes wander around the cafĆ©, taking in the rustic dĆ©cor and the soft hum of conversation. A bulletin board on the wall catches his attention, filled with flyers and photos. His gaze lands on a familiar face, and his heart skips a beat.Ā
Itās you. Your photo, smiling brightly, pinned among various advertisements and announcements. Youāre standing next to a large canvas, looking proud. He steps closer, reading the caption beneath your picture: āLocal Artist Exhibition - Featuring Works by ________.āĀ
Yoongiās mind races as he takes in the information. Youāre here in Seoul, and youāve been showcasing your art. A mix of emotions floods through himārelief, excitement, and a twinge of nervousness. He jots down the address of the gallery from the flyer without much thought and leaves without his coffee.Ā
As Yoongi steps out into the rain, a million thoughts swirl through his mind, each one more turbulent than the last. He wonders why you never sought him out. Seoul is vast, but youād known he was here, making waves in the music scene. Did you ever think about him? Did you ever miss him?Ā
The realization hits him hard: he never knew you were doing art before he left. In all your conversations, all your late-night talks and shared dreams, you never mentioned a passion for painting. He feels a pang of guilt. Had he been so wrapped up in his own ambitions that he failed to notice yours? The thought stings, and he can't shake the feeling that he should have been there for your journey, supporting you the way you always supported him.Ā
The gallery isnāt far, and soon heās standing in front of it, his heart pounding in his chest. He takes a deep breath and pushes the door open, the sound of soft music and hushed voices greeting him. Thereās quite a bit of people mingling about in quiet discussion, taking photos of the art mounted on the walls under ambient lighting.Ā
Inside the gallery, he feels out of place. The walls, adorned with your art, are a testament to a part of your life he knows nothing about. Each piece is beautiful, but they also serve as a painful reminder of how much heās missed. He wonders how many late nights you spent creating these, how many times you might have needed someone to share your successes and frustrations with.Ā
Yoongi wanders through the gallery, the sound of soft music and hushed voices creating a backdrop to his thoughts. The rain outside has left him feeling introspective, and as he takes in the various pieces of art, he feels a strange mix of pride and sadness seeing how far youāve come.Ā
Each painting tells a story, each one a glimpse into your life over the past five years, a life he wasnāt a part of.Ā
His gaze is drawn to a large canvas on the far wall. The colours are bold and dramatic, the brushstrokes chaotic and full of emotion. As he steps closer, he realizes with a jolt that the scene depicted is achingly familiar: a train station, snow swirling in the air, and two figures standing close together, wrapped in scarves and winter coats.Ā
His breath catches in his throat as he takes in the details. The style is unmistakably expressionist, the exaggerated forms and vibrant colours capturing the raw emotion of that day. The figures are abstract, but he knows them instantly: one is you, and the other is him.Ā
He remembers the way you tucked his scarf into his sweater, the tears that made tracks down your cheeks, and the way you both tried to memorize each other in those final moments. The painting captures all of it, the pain and the love, the sorrow and the hope.Ā
Yoongi feels a lump in his throat as he stares at the piece. Itās a testament to your skill as an artist. He wonders how long you carried the weight of that moment, how many times you revisited it in your mind to create this masterpiece. Heās overwhelmed by a wave of emotions: regret, longing, and a deep, unspoken connection.Ā
The title of the painting, written on a small plaque beside it, reads āDeparture.ā Itās fitting, he thinks, for the moment it captures, but also for the way it marks the beginning of your separate journeys.Ā
As he stands there, lost in thought, he hears your voice nearby, and for a moment, he simply stands there. Your words meld together and he isnāt hearing much of what youāre saying, just the sound.Ā His heart pounds against his ribs as your laugh ā it sparks a memory and adds sound to the ones that were muted ā bounces off the walls and around in his head.Ā Ā
He turns and sees you, in a corner, your back to him talking to a taller man, discussing a point of space where youāre standing. The sight of you, so vibrant and alive, sends a mixture of relief and nervousness fluttering around in Yoongiās tummy.Ā Ā Ā
Gathering his courage, he takes a step forward, then another, until heās standing just a few feet away. You turn and startle, staring at him like heās a ghost. Thereās a brief moment of surprise ā he gets it ā and then you blink.Ā
āYoongi,ā you breathe, and turning to the man next to you, you smile gently. āTaehyung...Can you give us a moment?āĀ Ā
The guy looks between you both for a second with a raised brow before heās gone, walking off to some other part of the gallery. Yoongiās mind is too occupied taking in the sight of you to wonder what that manās presence may mean.Ā
āHi,ā he replies, his voice soft and filled with all the words heās wanted to say for years. Despite this, he doesnāt actually know what to say, he didnāt actually think this far ahead. He glances back at the painting of the train station platform, then back at you. āI saw your painting.āĀ
You follow his gaze and nod, your smile tinged with a hint of sadness. āIt was a significant moment for me. For both of us, I think.āĀ
Itās a lot awkward, with him just standing there, not sure what to do with himself. You look the same, though now your hair is styled professionally and not the frizzy, wind swept mess it was when he last saw you.Ā Ā
Thereās so much he wants to say but he feel like he doesnāt have enough words, or the right ones, so he takes it easy. āI saw a flyer...in a cafĆ©. Um... Itās amazing...your work.āĀ Ā
āThank you,ā you say, your eyes reflecting a mixture of pride, nostalgia and a certain sadness. āI didnāt know youād be here. Itās... good to see you.āĀ
The conversation goes slowly, awkwardly. There are long pauses and nervous laughter, each of you trying to bridge the gap of five years with small talk about your art and his music.Ā
āYouāve done well,ā he says, gesturing to the paintings around you both. āI didnāt even know you were into art.āĀ
You smile, the same just barely there sad smile from earlier. āIt was something I started after you left. It helped me cope.āĀ
āOh...ā His heart aches at the thought of you turning to art just to fill the void he left behind. āIām sorry I wasnāt there,ā he says, his voice barely above a whisper.Ā
You shake your head and shrug. āWe both had our paths to follow. Itās just... life.āĀ
He nods, but the guilt lingers. Life had taken you both in different directions, but he canāt help but wonder what might have been different if he had stayed, or if he had at least tried to stay in touch better.Ā
Min Yoongi is an idiot and heās always told himself so. Heās an idiot and he sucks at this sort of thing.Ā
As the gallery starts to empty out, Yoongi looks at you, the rain pattering gently against the windows. Thereās a part of him that wants to apologize, to make up for all the lost time, but he knows itās not that simple.Ā
āDo you have time for a coffee?ā he asks, hope and uncertainty mingling in his eyes.Ā
Your smile is a little hesitant, but you nod, āSure.āĀ
You excuse yourself to grab your jacket and an umbrella ā you remembered, he smiles privately ā, and then you talk to the man from earlier for a minute before Yoongi follows you out of the gallery and onto the wet street.Ā Ā
The walk is quiet, filled with the awkwardness of five yearsā worth of missed everythingās, and Yoongi holds tight to the handle of his umbrella. Thereās a confidence to your step as you weave your way through the crowd, head straight forward and not looking down at your feet like he remembers.Ā
Youāre not the girl he left on that platform five years ago just as heās not the guy that left you there.Ā Ā
You walk back to the cafe heād come from, and he realises that youāre probably a regular here. The barista behind the counter greets you with a smile and asks if youāre having your usual. You order a coffee and Yoongi asks the girl behind the counter to reheat the one he bought earlier, and the baristaās eyes dart between you both.Ā
You lead him to a cozy corner table after the order was called, and as you settle in, the conversation starts up slowly again.Ā
āHow long have you been in Seoul?ā Yoongi asks first, his voice a little hesitant, not sure if heās allowed to ask.Ā Ā
āAlmost three years now,ā you reply, looking down at your coffee cup, the tiniest furrow between your brows. āIt took a while, but I got settled.āĀ
Yoongi takes a moment to observe you, trying to reconcile the person in front of him with the memories heās held onto for the past five years. You donāt look much different, your hairās in an up-do, your cheeks are a little fuller, but thatās as much as he notices.Ā Ā
The silence that rings between you both is louder than the other customers in the cafe. Yoongi can only imagine what this scene looks like to others; two people who are barely looking at each other, like awkward strangers forced to share a space.Ā Ā
His coffee is still hot, and it burns his tongue when he sips at it, but at least itās given him a distraction. He steals glances at you, watching the way your eyes comb the cafe and avoid his gaze.Ā Ā
Unfortunately, Yoongi is naught but a man, and thereās a nagging sound at the back of his brain. It grows louder until he fidgets, the nerves of his free hand feel like theyāre dancing and he takes a breath. He looks down at his coffee cup, glances at you and then back to the cup. Then, he asks a question that made him want to crawl out of his skin.Ā Ā
āSo...that guy back at your gallery seemed nice...āĀ Ā
He knows itās been five years, and a lot can change in that time.Ā As toxic as it may sound, the thought of you moving on with someone else stirs a mix of emotions in him.Ā
He knows he has no right to be upset if youāve found happiness with someone else. Itās not his business anymore, not after all this time.Ā Ā Ā
Still, the fear is there. He doesnāt want to admit how much it hurts to think of you with someone else. He canāt deny the pang of jealousy at the thought, but he tries his best to ignore it. He has no claim over you. You deserve to be happy, and if youāve found that with someone, then heās happy.Ā Ā
He sighs inwardly, pushing the thoughts aside. He wants to focus on the present, on the fact that youāre sitting in front of him right now. Whatever happens, heās happy to be here, he hopes he can be a part of your life again of you let him, even if itās only as a friend. He doesnāt want to ruin this, whatever it turns out to be.Ā
You stare at him for a moment and Yoongi canāt tell what youāre thinking, āHe is...heās got an eye for art.āĀ Ā
Yoongi nods slowly, his fingers tracing the rim of his coffee cup. He hums softly, and now itās his turn to pretend youāre not looking; he finds interest in the light fixtures above.Ā Ā Ā
His next question sits on his tongue trying to pry past his teeth. He feels like a kid trying to find the right moment to ask his parents if he could go play outside. Thereās a nervous churning in his tummy that isnāt at all pleasant. How does one ask their ex of five years if theyāre seeing someone?Ā Ā
Yoongi imagines theyād just ask, out of curiosity, and get it out of the way. He could play it well. Maybe lean back into his seat and appear more casual before he says the stupid words. Maybe he could stop staring at the lights like a damn moth, and act like a being with a fully developed frontal lobe.Ā Ā
āAre you two...close? Or...you know...ā He waves a hand and then lays it on the table. The sound of his ring knocking against it is kind of jarring, but it gives Yoongi an opportunity to look away again.Ā
You make a quiet sound, and Yoongi finally meets your gaze. Thereās amusement in your eyes, itās obvious youāve figured him out already ā he wasnāt exactly being subtle. Which is unfortunate, because now Yoongi could feel embarrassment tapping on his shoulder.Ā
You say nothing of it, even though he knows you want to. He could feel it.Ā Ā
āAs close as business partners can be, I suppose.ā You say, and Yoongi can see the beginning of a smile as you lift your coffee to hide it.Ā Ā
āRight...Sorry.ā Yoongi says sheepishly, though, a weight lifts off his chest. As he looks at you, he notices something that makes his heart skip a beat.Ā Ā
Youāre still wearing the necklace he got you all those years ago, the one he won for you at the fair. The twine that the little pendant hangs on looks worn, fraying a bit at some points, but youāre wearing it.Ā Ā
You kept it.Ā
He clears his throat, the words heās been holding back spilling out. āIām sorry I lost touch. I got so busy, and then it felt like too much time had passed to reconnect. I lost your contact, andā¦ I didnāt know how to find you again.āĀ
You nod, your fingers brushing over the necklace like you sensed his gaze on it. āItās okay. Life happened, for both of us.āĀ
āBut why didnāt you seek me out when you got to Seoul?ā Yoongi asks, his voice soft, devoid of accusation; genuinely curious.Ā
āI thought it would be for the best,ā you say, equally as soft, staring into your coffee as though it would give you the words youāre looking for. āSo much time had passed, and I didnāt want to disrupt your life. You were doing well.āĀ Ā
You look so sad when you say it that it almost breaks Yoongiās heart.Ā Ā
āYou know I wouldnāt have...ā He wouldnāt have turned you away.Ā Ā
āI know, I just...ā You sigh, your eyes dart somewhere to his left, and then back at him, ā...I really missed you.āĀ Ā
Yoongi wants to reach out and take your hand so he does. Your fingers are warm from the coffee, squeezing his own, and tears beads at your waterline.Ā Ā
āI missed you too.ā His gaze is soft and he knows it, but he doesnāt care because its you. Youāre still you and heās still him, and he misses you and the girl he left on that platform.Ā Ā
Youāre both still made of the same star. Itās imploded but still glowing, and your necklace pendant catches the above head light.Ā Ā
His finger brushes over your knuckles, he stares at them, the shape and colour and all the little things about them that makes them a part of you. All that with his heart in his throat because he wants to ask something.Ā Ā
āDo you thinkā¦ā His voice is barely a whisper, as if heās afraid the wrong volume might shatter whatever delicate thread holds this moment together. āDo you think thereās a chanceā¦ that we could try again?āĀ
You stare at him, your eyes wide, and he feels the subtle pressure of your fingers in his. He knows itās a lot to ask,Ā but the longing, the sense that maybe something beautiful can still be salvaged from the pieces, presses him to keep going.Ā
Hope catches on the glint of your necklace pendant, and he clings to it.Ā
āI donāt expect anything to happen right away. I justā¦ I want to be in your life again, even if we start slow. No pressure, justā¦ what feels right.āĀ
Youāre quiet for a moment, and then a soft smile curves your lips, almost as if youāve been waiting for him to say something like this.Ā Ā
āWe could try,ā you murmur, the words tentative but filled with the same cautious hope Yoongi feels.Ā
And from there, the pace is unhurried. You both ease into each otherās lives like rivers that find their way back to the same stream.Ā Ā
Some days Yoongi feels like heās been whacked on the head with a giant stick. Anyone could tell by looking at him, when heās got that stupid look on his face. Like heās seen a goddess and she spared him a glance. He feels like heās dreaming, and the last five years without you seem to blur.Ā Ā
He starts small, a text here and there; good morning and good night. Even if heās busy heād keep up with you, except when his work demands his focus. There are some days when youād disappear, and Yoongi understands when you explain youāve been in your studio for hours.Ā Ā
Your gallery isnāt far from his work, and as much as he could heād go see you. He finds himself drawn to small gesturesābringing you lunch or a cup of coffee, or sometimes a sweet he thinks you might like. Each time he steps into the gallery with something for you, he feels a warmth settle in his chest.Ā
Itās an excuse, he knows, to see you smile, to watch you light up at the thoughtfulness of it. And each time you look at him with that gentle, appreciative gaze, he feels his hope grow a little stronger.Ā
Youād tell him all about your creative process, how youād spin and weave whatās in your head onto a canvas. Heād listen attentively because heās interested and he owes it to you. All those nights spent burning the midnight oil, steeping in his frustrations; you were there. Youād listen to him rant and cry when things werenāt working out the way he wanted.Ā
He owed you much more than that.Ā Ā
He feels like he has to learn you all over again, which, in a sense, he does. Even if the bases of you are the same, thereās new facets. Little shards that fit into the mirror that reflects you, some pieces are a little dusty and worn with time and others are new and shiny. Yoongi has to take his time cleaning the old ones to see them again, and get used to the new ones that twinkle his eyes.Ā Ā
He invites you to his place for dinner, something simple and easy, and the conversation flows a lot better than it had a month before.Ā Ā
Thereās no awkward sentences that cut off somewhere in the middle. Yoongi knows what to do with his hands and he has a better time looking you in the eye now. He feels a lot like he did back then, like a school boy taking his crush to meet his parents. His hands are a little sweaty, but the food is good and your eyes sparkle like they did back then, too.Ā Ā
You seem so sure, like youāre not worried one bit. Like you knew youād meet him again and youād be here in this moment; sipping on white wine ā something new heās learned ā and chucking over stories set in the past.Ā Ā
The day he let a pet name slip was the day Yoongi wished a chasm would open up and swallow him. He had his excuse ready; the clockās pushing one in the morning; heās tired. The truth? Itās so easy to slip back into old ways, like nothing changed at all.Ā Ā
Like a smouldering fire in a hearth. Itās not quite out yet, and if you throw some sticks in there, theyāll catch.Ā Ā
After a while, on some sunny evening, Yoongi invited you to his studio.Ā
āThis is where I spend most of my time.ā And he means that, letting you into his studio. Thereās a blanket tossed haphazardly on the black couch that lines the wall near the door.Ā Ā
Thereās day old take away coffee cups that never made it to the bin, cluttered in a designated spot. The bin he meant to empty is overflowing with scraps of paper and crushed takeout containers. Thatās as far as the clutter goes. Though, Yoongiās embarrassed now ā he prides himself on keeping tidy. He wasnāt thinking when he asked you over, didnāt expect you to agree either.Ā Ā
So now heās clearing up his desk and tying a knot on the waste bag. You make yourself comfortable on his couch like youāve been there before, throwing the blanket over your lap as your eyes dart about to take everything in.Ā Ā
Youāre impressed, he could tell by the gleam in your eyes and your little down turned smile. Heās come a long way from his old computer and MIDI.Ā Ā
āIts nice, cosy. Beats camping out in your bedroom.ā You smile and Yoongi chuckles, nodding.Ā Ā
āDamn right.ā He agrees, but he wouldnāt trade in those days for anything. Truthfully, heās been here for three days, only going home to shower. Inspiration on an all time high and heās just been riding the wave, youāve been his muse for the past month. It isnāt the first time, at moments over the years gone youād float into his mind like a mirage, and heād get stuck on you.Ā Ā
Heās grateful for the break, though, thereās nothing much to do and he doesnāt want to bore you with rambling about what heās working on. So he orders something, and lets a movie play on his laptop.Ā Ā
The clock ticks softly in the corner, its sound nearly drowned out by the hum of the desk lamp ā he should really get that replaced. Youāre still curled up on his couch despite the hour, the blanket pooled around your legs, your eyes scanning a painting on the wall he doesnāt remember hanging.Ā
āItās peaceful here,ā you say, your voice quiet but steady, like youāre speaking directly to the heart of the roomāand to him.Ā
Yoongi glances up from the cluttered desk heād been half-heartedly straightening; resorting his things because he canāt sit still. He watches the way you seem to belong in his space, your presence settling into the corners he never realized were empty. The faintest smile tugs at the corner of his mouth.Ā
āYou think so?ā he asks, moving to lean against the edge of the desk. He crosses his arms, the soft light from the lamp catching on the fine lines of his face. āI always thought it was too chaotic.āĀ
You turn your head, your gaze locking onto his. āChaos can be beautiful. It just takes the right eyes to see it.āĀ
The words settle between you, their weight both gentle and profound. Yoongi feels something inside him shiftāa small piece of armour finally cracking and falling away.Ā
He takes a step toward you, his hands slipping into his pockets, his expression tentative. āThereās something Iāve been meaning to ask you.āĀ
You sit up a little straighter, tilting your head. āWhat is it?āĀ
āWould youā¦ā He hesitates, his fingers brushing against the edge of a USB drive in his pocketāthe same drive that holds the tracks heās been working on for weeks. āWould you let me write something for you? About you?āĀ
Your surprise shows in the slight widening of your eyes, followed quickly by a soft, warm smile. āYou already do that, donāt you?āĀ
Yoongi chuckles under his breath, his gaze dropping to the floor for a moment. āMaybe,ā he admits, with a small smile that meant more than he could say. āBut this time, I want you to know itās for you. No hiding it in metaphors or beats no one else understands. Justā¦you.āĀ
You rise from the couch, the blanket slipping to the side as you close the small distance between you. Standing so close, Yoongi count all the things that make you you.Ā Ā
āOkay,ā you say softly, your fingers brushing against his. āBut only if you let me paint something for you, too.āĀ
Yoongi takes your hand because he wants to, and his fingers make home in the spaces between yours. It feels like dĆ©jĆ vu and an epiphany all at once: five years ago you were this close and he was saying goodbye. His gloves had holes. Today...heās saying hello again, and it feels like no time had gone by. And he kisses you now because he didnāt kiss you then, and you sigh into it like youāve been waiting a lifetime.Ā Ā
Some people say that soulmates are made of the same star, apart of each other, one in the same. Stars donāt live forever, Yoongi found, but they do burn forever.Ā Ā
Tagging: @hoseoksluna @xpeachesncream @amon-rei @allhobbitstoisengard @euphoricfilter @madbutgloriouspond
#Persphonesorchid#Fic: Echoes of nebula#Min Yoongi#Yoongi x reader#exes to lovers#bts x reader#bts fanfiction#bts fanfic#bts suga#suga x reader#agust d#agust d x reader#min yoongi x reader#yoongi x you#yoongi x reader#bts#bts fic recs#bts fic rec#yoongi fluff#yoongi angst#suga fluff#suga angst#AHHHH I LOVE THESE TWO š
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dragon riding equipment | aethergarde academy dr
date: november 23, 2024
it's been a sec since i've done a longer post (like a little over a week or smth.. right?)
I was busy with my finals... I still am, but like... I miss posting šš
Equipment will be outlined in aethergarde's student handbook too!
ANYWAY-- enjoy this incredibly long post! I'm sorry if there are any typos, I don't feel like looking over everything (T-T)
how to get your equipment (kinda)
It's pretty easy to find shops that sell dragon riding equipment in cities-- but in rural towns and villages, this kind of equipment can be almost impossible to find near you.
If you are not starting off as a noble like me, buy your equipment within the first week of school-- actually, no, get it ASAP. You should, ideally, start looking for equipment after you retrieve your egg (you need to get your egg as soon as you get to campus).
What if you don't have the equipment by the time you need to start using it? You'll be left out of lessons, standing off to the side while your peers fight or fly, which will absolutely tank your grades.
You should have your equipment before the first month of school ends.
If I have a month to get said equipment, why not wait?
There are lots of dragon riding equipment shops, but not all of them are of good quality. Rough half of the students attending Aethergarde will not be nobles, on top of that, nobles will commission the best shops-- especially luxury brand shops-- to custom make their armory, saddles, etc.
This makes the dragon equipment market rather busy around this time of year.
BUT
I'll help ya'll out, though, I can't promise you'll be the only commissioning things from these places.
school supplies list
let's start with the obvious, you'll need either an enchanted fountain pen, a regular fountain pen + ink, or some quills and ink. Quills and ink are cheaper, they're the equivalent to like, wooden pencils. Fountain pens have the same reputation as mechanical pencils. Enchanted fountain pens are really trendy! Definitely also get a set of gum wax, aka waxers (erasers); kids like to call them gummies (fruit gummy resembling snacks are called jellies here!)
You should get basic stuff like loose parchment (loose leaf paper), an academy bag (a backpack, highly recommend a messenger type bag), and writing books (notebooks to take notes in)
dragon mounting gear: includes such things like a saddle and reins, very similar to horse gear
wind-breaking charm OR riding goggles OR a riding visor: Wind-breaking charms are pretty hard to find-- I mean it's not impossible, but it's just not cheap. Riding goggles are an old rider thing, they aren't used much anymore. Riding goggles look like your typical steampunk-esque goggles. If you want a physical facial wind breaker, get a riding visor. Riding visors look similar to ski visors, but the glass lookin part tends to be tinted orange due to a strong sunglasses effect.
kinda like this ^^^^ but w/o the gas mask; if anyone's got a better idea for this btw, plz let me know!
I'm still in the works with this aspect.. mostly bc I feel like the visors don't fit the fantastical aesthetic-- but I didn't want to immediately default to using magic and charms because I want the rider uniforms to be more unique than the typical 'fighting leathers', yk? Idk, maybe the dƩcolletage cover is unique enough.
Other sight wind-breaking options:
wind-protectant eyedrops: these are rather new (has been released to the market a year before you shift here) the liquid is runny like normal eyedrops when you put them in your eyes, but the substance begins to form a film over your eyes. The film feels exactly like contacts, so it's easy to forget the substance is still on your eye. The film only lasts for a few hours (the film will eventually dissolve), and does not do any damage to the eye. To manually remove it, use the 'antidote' eye drops (wind protectant eyedrops and antidote eyedrops are sold in a set) to lubricate your eyes, then after blinking a few times, remove the film by softly pinching it out of the eye (NOT WITH UR NAILS, USE THE PADS OF YOUR FINGERTIPS!!!). The downside to these eyedrops is that they do not protect against the sun; though, sun-resistance eyedrops are starting to come to the market. You must make sure the sun eyedrops are wind-protectant friendly, or the sun eyedrops won't stick to the film, causing the sun eyedrops to leave your eyes too quickly. These eyedrops are also pretty expensive, but it's still less expensive than rider grade wind-breaker charms.
rider grade sun-resistance charm: A lot of people carry these around just in general, especially during summer, but the one's you should buy should be rider grade. Rider sun charms are stronger and are made to be used when you're flying in the sky for long periods of time. Sun charms need to be replaced every few months; all sun-resistance charms have to (legally) have a label that gradually changes to black-- the darker it is, the less it works. It typically starts to darken after two months of use.
moving on--
fighting attire: Unfortunately, it's not ideal to fight in aethergarde's uniform-- But, it's not like it's impossible if you take the outer coat off. Speaking of uniforms, Aethergarde provides a fighting garment set that comes with the formal uniform (the pretty one). You're required to wear it for fighting lessons, including outside missions; in your third, fourth, and fifth years, you can start replacing elements of your uniform with better material. Why not simply allow students to get their own fighting garments from the start? Students need to know how to fight wearing armor made for higher ranking riders-- the material is different from lower ranking riders' uniform.
you'd be wearing smth like this but w/o all the stringy bits! consists of a lot of wild dragon hide.
a weapon: you'll need to have chosen a weapon before the end of the second month!
optional riding supplies
dƩcolletage cover: Main purpose is to provide warmth for the face and neck area without compromising movement. It's highly recommended-- plus, you'll look cool. Many dƩcolletage covers are charmed to always be warm and protect against harmful gases.
often looks like this but less kinky looking and the bottom part is fitted to the chest-- also not all of them have this same design, but they all do cover the same areas.
it'd fit like this ^^^^ to the body!
riding gloves: helps you have a better grip with weapons or to your saddle. If you're planning to sleep on your dragon while it flies, there's a little belt mechanism that you can loop through the front of the dragon saddle that attaches your hands to the saddle. This helps keep your body from sliding off the dragon during flight. If the front of your saddle isn't comfortable, you can loop the belt through any belt buckle on the dragon; the most common place is around the bottom of the dragon's neck (pictured in the 2nd pic). It's best to get black gloves, but brown can also work.
the highlighted yellow area is, relatively, where the most popular glove attachment is (for napping). There'd be more belts and stuff around the dragon btw, I just didn't feel like doing all that shit.
belt vial holder: you can place travel sized containers of potion bottles in the best + you can attach charms to the belt too
flight bag(s): This bag can be easily attached to your dragon's saddle, most saddles can hold up to 2-4 bags. Bags in general can be tailored to become flight bags, but it's best if the bag has some sort of tight buckle-- you don't want your bag to fall open when you're flying around!
these kinds of bags are common riding bag designs! if you have a smaller satchel you like bringing around, you can put it inside of one of these bags
how to get your equipment (actually) pt.2
Like I mentioned earlier, it's better to buy rider equipment in cities rather than villages and small towns. During rider season, it won't be uncommon to see a bunch of stalls along the streets selling rider stuff.
Getting stuff like academy bags, belt vial holders, and travel bottles from stalls isn't a bad idea, but it's always best to get your most important equipment from an expert with a good reputation.
Unless you know the crafter is great at making everything-- extremely durable saddles, reins, weapons, and fighting attire, you should go to shops that specialize in each part.
recommended shops:
Since common street shops will be busy this time of year, I'm going to recommend you some underground shops.
I cannot guarantee that these places will be completely empty, as they're all well-known in their own right, but they all will be able to cater to you before all of your deadlines.
Make sure you bring the actual school supplies list with you!
middle steed
Name: Aadam El-Hussein
Specialization: dragon saddles, belts, and flight bags
Summary: After his father's arthritis in the hands started becoming worse, Aadam took over Middle Stead. His dad still helps around at the tannery though! As with all the shopkeepers, Aadam and his father are extremely passionate about their jobs. Don't be afraid to ask for any innovative features; like if you think you'd sleep a lot on dragonback, you can ask Aadam to make the saddle more comfortable for you to lay in a certain position. If you're extremely worried about safety, you can always ask to have other safety features implemented in the design.
To get here:
Find the Dragonmead Brewery in Itresal (the city Aethergarde Academy is located in) the alehouse is located on Millmount Street.
There should be a space between that brewery and the bakery next to it-- go down that alleyway and pass two wooden doors. When you get to that third door, knock; either an old man (Aadam's dad) or Aadam himself will open the door
From there, you can order a saddle and all the appropriate equipment you need
Some tips:
Get another saddle commissioned by him every two years; dragons grow relatively fast, so simple tailoring won't always suffice
You can put off getting saddles until your dragon near rider flight age
Instead of bringing your dragon to Middle Stead, bring him into Aethergarde. He'll need measurements to make a proper saddle
Any metal (like in the buckles) should be plated with a matte coat or cold black iron
storm forage
Name: Reynard Ulysses
Specialization: Dragon rider armor and rider fighting attire
Summary: Reynard was born into a rural farmer family, but after his older brother ended up being a rider, Reynard moved to Itresal with his brother. Since Reynard was often tasked with preparing hide, he decided to work at a local butcher shop to help his brother financially. Oftentimes, his brother would come home and complain that he needed to replace his fighting garments. The two of them couldn't afford to keep buying cheap fighting attire, so Reynard started learning how to make it himself. Eventually, he started selling his products to other people-- over the years, he's honed his skills, and became known in underground spaces for having great fighting attire.
To get here:
Located in the southern part of Itresal in Ranger's Way
Go down the alleyway between Steel Whim (blacksmith) and the Loving Fowl Inn
Walk straight until you reach a fork; walk through the rightmost path, then go left at the end of the path
There should be a wooden sign that says Storm Forage on a door; knock on that door, you can order from there
Some tips:
You may see Callisto here
Everything you wear has to be matte; tell Reynard to plate any metal on your fighting attire with cold black iron
waning moon burrows (face wear)
Name: Yessuf Yohannes Tarik
Specialization: rider goggles, rider visors, cloaks, aerodynamic magitech
Summary: Yessuf is the only one out of all the merchants so far who was born of noble status; however, he left home to escape from the classic noble lifestyle in his early 20s. He no longer wants to be a noble, and simply identifies as a commoner. Yessuf was particularly driven to escape his luxurious life to pursue his passions and sell his products at a more reasonable price. Ever since he was young, he had a strong affinity for engineering, but when magitech came around, he took his passion to a whole different level. Though is not a dragon rider, he was always fascinated by dragons, this spurred him on to make technology that would aid riders. Yessuf is an innovative prodigy; Yessuf's shop is most likely to be busier than the all of the ones I've mentioned so far.
To get here:
Located in the central part of Itresal in Quarry Avenue
Find The Pioneer Brewery and ask for a "vermond tea served with a stick of sweetbark"
The bartender will ask you to come to the back to see the new selection of sweetbark; follow the bartender, they will take you to Waning Moon
Some tips:
Literally every single product this guy sells is amazing. Not a single one is bad, he puts in a lot of effort to make everything he sells as good as he can make it
Only sells wind-resistance charms on the weekend, but sells wind an sun-resistance eyedrops Monday, Wednesday, and Friday
His wind-sun resistance eyedrops and his wind-resistance charms sell really quick
if there's something you want that he doesn't actively sell, like, perhaps... a flying ship.. you can commission him to make one, but you will prob need to provide him with a lot of the materials
You should get wind-sun resistance charms here; they're cheaper because Yessuf does not base the price on existing market value
the dew drop: potion's shop
Name: Katherine Dowenstein (Blonde lady), Lorelai Dowenstein (Brown hair)
Specialization: Potions, tonics, elixirs, balms, herbs
Summary: Katherine Dowenstein grew up in an orphanage. Despite that, her life was rather peaceful growing up. Since she loved going outdoors, cooking, and baking, her caregivers often remarked that she'd be a great apocathary when she's older. Determined to meet their expectations, she began learning all about different plants and potions through both books and experience. When she was older, she decided to work in a potions' shop, but hated the restrictions placed on her. Kathie grew to hate her job, and her love for potions waned, but it wasn't until she healed a child who was thought to have an incurable disease secretly by giving the child tonics Kathie believed had a chance at helping her through her illness. That child was Lorelai; after she recovered, Lorelai begged to become Kathie's apprentice. By Kathie's request, Lorelai lied and told her parents and everyone else that her body simply fought the virus on its own. Kathie didn't want a lot of people knowing about her skills, as she didn't want to be confined by strict regulations any longer. Kathie started her own potion's shop; Lorelai helps her out.
To get here:
There's two different ways
One way is to find Lorelai; she frequents a bread shop called Crumb Hours at 8AM-10AM to read a book and eat before she goes to work (Mon-Fri)
Ask her if she's reading Time of Barbury by Guinevere Roth; she'll say yes, and she'll ask you to join her on her walk back to The Dew Drop at 10AM
Another way is to find the way to the shop yourself
To do this, go to the same bakery that Lorelai likes to go to, Crumb Hours, and go down the alleyway located between the bakery and Utred's Lenses
Go straight down until you reach the area where the path deviates; go left, continue down the path until you come across a fork
Go down the middle path; then knock on a door labelled The Dew Drop
Notice that the area is not the shop is not selling any potions-- only herbs
Lorelai will answer; tell her if she's selling the book Time of Barbury
She'll nod, and she'll take you down a trapdoor, which you lead you to the actual store
Once you see Kathie, you know you're in the right place
Some tips:
Katherine prefers to go by Kathie!
Ok so do note that the regulations placed on potions and tonics are there to (obviously) make sure that potions and stuff are safe to consume, but since it's so strict, it's hard to be innovative, and use different kinds of ingredients and recipes to make potions
"but what about weapons?"
You'll need to go to a shop that specifically caters to your weapon type; if the store sells weapons that aren't closely related to each other (like swords, bows, and scythes), it's unlikely that to shop is of the best quality. if a shop sells only daggers and swords, that means that the people making the equipment are actually specialized in making those weapons. Since there are so many weapon types, I don't think I can make shopkeepers for each!
#shiftblr#reality shifting#shifting community#lalalian#desired reality#shifting blog#shifters#shifting diary#shifttok#scripting#aethergarde academy dr
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10 First Lines Tag Game
Rules: share the first lines of ten of your most recent fanfics and tag ten people. If you have written less than ten, donāt be shy and share anyway.
Thank you for the tags @bunny-hoodlum @dayseternal-blog @arunikas!! ššš
mine are under the cut bc i talk/write too much š
Ghost of You (she's new here)
Himawari woke up tired.
She woke up feeling gross and sticky and more than a little hungry, but mostly she felt tired.
So when she was greeted with large dark circles under her eyes from the lack of sleep as she looked in the mirror, she wasnāt all that surprised. A little amused perhaps because of her almostĀ exactĀ resemblance to a raccoon (andĀ her friend Shukaku) but not surprised.
baby pardon my french (but can you speak in tongues?)
Hinata took in her cheeky-looking kids with weary eyes, analyzing the trio as they stood in a line in front of her, purposefully, she knew, blocking the end of the hallway. There they stood with large grins, sparkling eyes, and their hands behind their backs, thatĀ plusĀ the combination of their pajamas effectively made the three look adorable and suspicious all at the same time.
(And as much as she loved her kids, she didnāt feel like dealing with whatever horrific thing they managed to pull off that made them look like the kittens that ate the canaries at eight in the morning.) So, willing to give them the benefit of the doubt, Hinata gave them each a morning kiss on the forehead (which made their wicked grins turn to soft smiles) and went to the bathroom.
Burn The House Down
āI canāt believeĀ thisĀ is what youāre worried about,ā Naruto chuckled, his voice filling the room as he watched his wife pace back and forth in their living room that wasnāt actually,Ā not really,Ā their living room.
Hinata didnāt look up from her spot in the middle of the room as she tried her hardest to think, bringing her hands together to play with her wedding ring in a worried yet contemplative way.
Naruto watched her, her long dress following her gracefully as she went about the room. He stared at her face, finding the way her eyebrows came together as her nose would scrunch up like a curious little field mouseĀ so adorableĀ that he couldnāt help but smile despite theĀ not houseĀ situation they had found themselves in.
A Few Bumps In The Road
"Himawari, don't get any closer," the voice was soft yet stern, cutting through the tense, thick air with its presence and she wanted nothing more than to be able to listen to its instructions. But she couldn't, not this time.
Not when she wasĀ so closeĀ to everything going back to normal.
With every part of her wishing she was somewhere else, she turned to her not-quite uncle with a humorless grin -- so reminiscent of her father in that moment that he took a step back -- she said, "Sorry Uncle Sasuke." She took a step forward, her eyes never moving from its targets.
"This is a sibling thing."
Do, do, do do do do!
"Sometimes I forget that we don't have triplets," Naruto starts, nonchalantly bringing his coffee cup to his lips as Hinata turned to him a brow raised and her nose scrunched in confusion.
Blinking at her dead-serious husband, Hinata decided to indulge in his craziness. (Even if she complained about it sometimes, they both knew that she loved it.) "And how's that?" she asked, taking a seat in front of him at the dinner table.
Did Someone Say Karaoke?
"Nothing better than a karaoke date to start the week, don't cha think, hime?" Naruto asked his wife with a smirk and a slight wiggle of his brows as they made their way to the karaoke place.
Hinata, who was walking beside the off-the-clock Hokage with her hand in his, responded with a playful roll of her eyes, trying to distract from the upcoming blush on her cheeks. Even after all these years together, Naruto could still find ways to make her blush like a school girl...
(And with all those years together came Naruto's beloved ability of being able to spot Hinata blushing from a mile away so, unfortunately, her troubles were for naught.)
i don't know who loves us more, me or the stars
Everything was perfect.
The sky was clear with not a single cloud in sight and the moon and the stars were shining brightly although there had been a light rain that afternoon, the grass and thus their picnic blanket was completely dry. The most important (and perfect) thing though was that Hinata lookedĀ incrediblyĀ kissable.
Unfortunately,Ā MenmaĀ didnāt seem to think so because the perfectness of the night seemed to make him think that she wanted to discuss constellations and anything and everything about them instead of rolling around in the grass on their blanket together for some reason.
when i see your face (i can't think straight)
Sasuke rolled his eyes while Sakura giggled into her hand, their reactions to their best friendās stupidity completely different as they watched Naruto slide down his locker onto the floor with a loving sigh, very much like a lovestruck schoolgirl.
āSo,ā Sakura started, sitting down in the space next to him. āWhat color was it this time?ā she teased, already having a clue as to what color made him react this way.
Letting out another sigh, Naruto clutched his textbook to his chest (causing Sasuke to roll his eyes yet again), before he looked at Sakura with sparkling eyes. āOrange,ā he said, dreamily, closing his eyes to think about the stunning smile that was flashed in his direction not even a minute ago.
i'd rather die than admit this (but i love you)
Hinata gently straightened the papers in her lap, making sure everything was in its place before she set them down on her lap once more. She held the folder close to her as she decided that she wanted to cross her legs, only to uncross them the second she placed her folder down. Ignoring the weird stares that she was getting from the person seated two chairs away from her, she picked up her papers to straighten them up again.
She paused in her tidying as the most aggravating voice in the world ā and probably the universe ā broke her concentration. āPretty sure that they're not getting any straighter, Hyuuga,ā the voice said with a sneer.
i want you and you don't want me (and that's okay)
Naruto stared deeply into his bowl of ramen as he stirred it around lazily, trying his best to tune out the whispered conversation his friends were trying to keep him from hearing. All in all, they were doing a great job, except for the fact that they wereĀ so clearlyĀ discussing the fact that Sai had found his soulmate during his first period that all it did was make Naruto sick.
Something that Shikamaru seemed to notice as he effectively shushed the group with a loud clear of his throat, successfully making them shut up and Naruto look up from his ramen cyclone in the same second.
secret stop starting fics with dialogue challenge šš
i'm sure everyone's been tagged already but pls join in if you want to share first lines with us!!! and make sure to tag us pretty please š
#i'm not sure why two of my links are broken lol#i promise you that they're all there š#thank you again for the tags ladies!!! ššš#naruhina#sunshine family#naruhina fic#tag game
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book rec by me
so you want to get back into reading books but have no idea where to start and disdain booktok (if you get me started on this however i will become an unskippable cutscene so that's for another day). understandable. there is so much out there and it is all so overwhelming and you don't even know what you like now that you've been a decade out of the game. again, understandable. it does not have to be scary. i will help you. below i have created some categories that can get you started.
i want to read Literature
literary fiction, with crossover from historical fiction and magical realism
PEACH BLOSSOM SPRING by melissa fu
THE VASTER WILDS by lauren groff
THE FAMILY CHAO by lan samantha chang
OUTER DARK by cormac mccarthy
SEVERANCE by ling ma
LIGHT FROM UNCOMMON STARS by ryka aoki
IDENTITTI by mithu m. sanyal
PIRANESI by susanna clarke
i want to read sci-fi/fantasy that won't break my brain
sci-fi and fantasy that is gentler on the brain cells. easier to grasp magic systems with multiple but not an overwhelming number of overlapping plotlines
EMILY WILDE'S ENCYCLOPAEDIA OF FAERIES by heather fawcett
KINGS OF THE WYLD by nicholas eames
THE JASMINE THRONE by tasha suri
THE CITY OF BRASS by s.a. chakraborty
A RIVER ENCHANTED by rebecca ross
JUNIPER AND THORN by ava reid
BLACK SUN by rebecca roanhorse
THE FINAL STRIFE by saara el-arifi
THE BONE SHARD DAUGHTER by andrea stewart
i want to read sci-fi/fantasy that forces me to lock the fuck in
i would not recommend picking these up as your first foray back into books after many years of not reading recreationally, but i'm not your mom.
THE SPEAR CUTS THROUGH WATER by simon jimenez
JADE CITY by fonda lee
THE FIFTH SEASON by n.k. jemisin
THE RAGE OF DRAGONS by evan winter
A MEMORY CALLED EMPIRE by arkady martine
GIDEON THE NINTH by tamsyn muir
THE ART OF PROPHECY by wesley chu
THE GRACE OF KINGS by ken liu
horrify me!
there is far more to the horror literary canon than stephen king and dean koontz, i promise. consider looking up warnings for these.
TENDER IS THE FLESH by agustina bazterrica
THE RUINS by scott smith
CONFESSIONS by kanae minato
EPISODE THIRTEEN by craig dilouie
REPRIEVE by james han mattson
MARY by nat cassidy
DEAD SILENCE by s.a. barnes
AUDITION by ryu murakami
THE SALT GROWS HEAVY by cassandra khaw
don't care, i want romance
some of these feature crossover genres, like fantasy and horror.
VAMPIRES OF EL NORTE by isabel caƱas
DAUGHTER OF THE MOON GODDESS by sue lynn tan
SEVEN DAYS IN JUNE by tia williams
HAPPY PLACE by emily henry
ONE DARK WINDOW by rachel gillig
i want QUEER romance
again, a mix of historical, fantasy, and contemporary crossover genres.
WE COULD BE SO GOOD by cat sebastian
IN MEMORIAM by alice winn
MOST ARDENTLY by gabe cole novoa
A STRANGE AND STUBBORN ENDURANCE by foz meadows
A MARVELLOUS LIGHT by freya marske
THE EMPEROR AND THE ENDLESS PALACE by justinian huang
SPELL BOUND by f.t. lukens
SORRY, BRO by taleen voskuni
ONE LAST STOP by casey mcquiston
DELILAH GREEN DOESN'T CARE by ashley herring blake
i haven't felt anything since i read percy jackson/the hunger games in middle school/high school
adventure is still out there.
SCYTHE by neil shusterman
WE HUNT THE FLAME by hafsah faizal
SIX OF CROWS by leigh bardugo
GEARBREAKERS by zoe hana mikuta
i'll read anything that's not straight or white
many books in the above categories fit this, but here's even more, across a variety of genres.
LAST NIGHT AT THE TELEGRAPH CLUB by malinda lo
BABEL by r.f. kuang
WHEN THE RECKONING COMES by latanya mcqueen
THE UNBROKEN by c.l. clark
IF YOU'LL HAVE ME (graphic novel) by eunnie
LEGEND OF THE WHITE SNAKE by sher lee
THIS IS HOW YOU LOSE THE TIME WAR by amal el-mohtar and max gladstone
SHE WHO BECAME THE SUN by shelley parker-chan
"all ya books suck"
like any other genre or book age group, there are duds and there are standouts. ya is not special in this regard. try some of these!
DIVINE RIVALS by rebecca ross
STRIKE THE ZITHER by joan he
THE RED PALACE by june hur
A STUDY IN DROWNING by ava reid
EMPIRE OF SAND by tasha suri
LEGENDBORN by tracy deonn
i check out and read a lot of these books for free via my local library by using the libby app (you can even add your friends' library cards to gain access to libraries in places you don't live). when i'm feeling like reading via audiobook, i use libro fm!
look, no one HAS TO read diversely. no one is going to be reverse fahrenheit 451'd and locked in a room with no fanfic and only books and not let out until they work their way through the entire literary canon. but reading, and reading widely, and reading diversely, is what teaches people to form their own opinions and question the things they are told. it's why they hang up stuff like "READ READ READ!!" in grade school classrooms.
we live under systems that increasingly benefit from going unquestioned. no, of course reading ASSASSIN'S APPRENTICE by robin hobb is not going to dismantle these systems tomorrow, nor probably even in our lifetimes. but doing it will help set up a world capable of doing it in the future. and until further notice, we are all part of this wretched world. might as well read a good story while we're here.
anyway, i'm reading THE WEST PASSAGE by jared pechaÄek and the new cmq book this week.
#read books! i promise it's not 'all colleen hoover' THERE IS SO MUCH OUT THERE.#and the more attention that nonwhite noncishet narratives get the more this signals to the market that audiences are interested!#inb4 'why did fanfic catch strays š fanfic is still reading' it absolutely is! and is integral to the fannish ecosystem!#they're not worse or better - but they're fundamentally different and serve a different purpose#my credentials are that i've read/written fanfic for 15 years and have written 2 million words of it through my life LIKE I'M ONE OF YOU.#anyway. i expect this will get like 12 notes but i had to know i did my part.
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Han's bubble was hilarious today. He accidentally started a movement of stays quitting their jobs because of the weatherš
240614 šæš«§:
-when I woke up this morning, the sun has already risen and I was melting
-i wonder if it's because it's morning that it felt like I was melting in the bed or if it's because it's hot so i opened the window refreshingly and just breathed in the air but I was shocked. Please just stay at home for today
-because I think it's a good amount of exercise/movement even if you just live today by moving enough to warm up the brain cells, I feel like moving more than that is a luxury
-those who commute to work or school today, please state it firmly that if the weather's this hot then, to let you watch movies and rest at home at least for a day
-say that rather than thinking of it as getting off work/school because it's hot to please think of as a temporary escape in order to find the beauty/romance in this weather for a day
-ah there're maknaes* too then please show them how you're the maknae on top like jeonginnie (*people who are the youngest in the workplace so they can't demand days off)
-who made maknaes not being able to say a thing
-what to do if you get fired? then I'll try to make a place for you in JYP as an honorary STAY employee. Don't worry.
-Payment terms are not in my control so I'll try negotiating it.
-no wait but that doesn't mean that you should just voluntarily leave the company/workplace that you're in
-pls stop for a bit
-what's with this (fast) execution
-no but when did I even lead/encourage you to resign your job, no wait y/n let's think of it again for a bit
-no but those who are students, you can't just come out, you have to listen to the lessons/lectures
-oh
-seems like the ball I shot scattered across everywhere like starlight and spread around
-well since I can't just make it as something that didn't happen
-I'll be escaping
-Fighting for today, i love you and fighting
Messages translated by skzwithstay8
Stays reaction on twt:
#i think all stays subscribed to him had the same idea when he said he'll get them a job at jype if they get fired for asking for a day off#and went yes king so true im quitting my shitty job and showing up to jype tomorrow to get employed :D#and he panicked lmfaoo#even on twitter in qrts everyone was saying how they're quitting because han promised them a job LMFAO#mfs he just said take a day off!! ššš#and then the way he dipped after making everyone unemployed š#come back sir we're jobless because of you#his starlight message was way too poetic for this situation haha#stray kids#skz#bubble#skz bubble#han jisung#han#kpop
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Josie Pinup for @thedeafprophet ;) (full nudity below the cut)
i think october wants her cloak back josie ļæ½ļæ½ļæ½ļæ½
(based on this:)
#(yes i can draw legs properly HOWEVER josie has EDS so i wanted to have her hyper-extending the one knee because. she deserves to be#seen as pretty Including her bendy joints damnit!!!!!!!)#anyways#phantom of the opera moments much josie? my my#you guys would not BELIEVE how my phone has SLAUGHTERED this piece in particular!!! i can't even do my normal little photo app editing trick#(telling my phone to use the 'enhance' or 'contrast' settings :( )#like. in person josie is super super smeared and washed out in her reflection! but october is actually only a tiny bit smeared and not#washed out at all! so she Sticks Out a lot!!! because she's a parabolan ghost with a lot of parabolan power mastery and i wanted her to seem#... Disturbingly Tangible#but my phone picks up on fucking NONE of that#and yet somehow it's picking up and EMPHASIZING all this white texture and spotting that is legitimately Barely Visible in person#and like. her stretch marks are nowhere near as bright!! they're nice and natural looking i prommy#and it's over-emphasizing the lightness of her palms too aaaaaaaa#anyways. I'm crying over how my phone just. murders my art for funsies. waugh#please please please i promise it looks a thousand times better in person ššš#her face too :(#alas alas.#dye stained art#suggestive#also tmblr don't kill me this is a fuckung pinup. artistic nudity. aaa#sometimes i will just draw ocs naked for stress relief!!! because i like how bodies are shaped#hnnnnnng gold ink <3#mirrors#ask to tag#others ocs#josie
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"it was an effort to look good" Innie, buddy, you look good always without having to do all of that stuff, i promise.
#i.n does bring out some kind of older sister instinct within me like boy youre fine dont starve dont do excessive work outs#dont only eat chicken breast fried rice i promise youre lovely how you are#its why i cant compliment his cheekbones bc i know they're probably born from worrying behaviour and i'd prefer a lil round face#thats healthy but yk omg my idol has visible cheekbones and abs so lets all pretend he doesnt talk worryingly about his dieting on bbl š¤©#like i cant do it. cant give virtual pats on the back for it#like little mate you got off a long flight go chill and eat some italian food š#he even said he got dizzy :(
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[fic: double-blind] what might it look like if Peter had taken Extremis? What sort of personality traits, morals, abilities would be respectively amplified or suppressed? What might SIM!Tony and Extremis!Peter's relationship have looked like (would there be mutual attraction or would they hate each other, or something else)? What might non-Extremis Tony (meaning, he had never taken Extremis) and Extremis!Peter's relationship have looked like? And what would the relationship between post-Extremis Tony and Extremis!Peter look like, meaning that Tony has the knowledge and memory of what he/SIM Tony is capable of but no longer the capacity?
This is such a long and complicated meta question, so thank you for your time, whenever you get the chance to answer this!
[[š»ursa interludeš»
Extremis!Peter: hmmm well, like Tony's megalomania still filtered itself through the self-serving excuse of an "altruistic" desire to ~take care of people~ I think Peter would still want to be Spider-man and "help" people! But his intentions would become a lot more wrathful, with more focus on hunting down and "punishing" criminals than genuinely being about preventing/mitigating harm.
Basically, if faced with the classic "nyeheheh spider-man, you can either save allll these people and let me get away, or let them die and catch me!" situation, he would catch the villain rather than save the people, lmao. He would also be a lot more confident/self-assured as Peter as well as Spider-manā I think the outward changes would be a lot more obvious for him than Tony, just because Peter suddenly being a confident-to-the-point-of-arrogance live-out-loud type would be a much bigger shift!
SIM!Tony and Extremis!Peter: oh this is the ideal for SIM, haha. (And was his actual plan, though he wouldn't have anticipated the changes to Peter's personalityā until he found out that Peter already had a healing factor as Spider-man, he was going to inject Peter with Extremis to keep him safe from the compound released into the water supply.)
Peter would have the same "everyone else is inferior šexcept my dadš" mental loophole that Tony does about Peter, and he would totally buy the "short-term crime for long-term utopia" plan once they knew each other's identities! (I'd say that things would get potentially very nasty before that point, but honestly egotistical Extremis!Peter would probably not be nearly as careful about safeguarding his identity, so Tony would figure it out before they had the chance to fuck each other up too bad lmao.)
So following thatā¦ their mutual obsession with each other would dovetail very nicely, haha. SIM would 100% get his "ruling the world from the shadows with my son-lover-queen at my side" fantasy and they would have a great time. There might be some bumps in the beginning when Peter's own ego rankled under Tony's paternalism but if anything I think Tony would come around to seeing this version of Peter as a legitimate equal, so they would get it sorted out pretty quickly. Happily ever after in awful toxic tooth-rotting villainous love!
Extremis!Peter and normal Tony: WOOF. Well, again, I think Tony would figure out Spider-man's identity pretty quickly, since even as non-Iron Man he would have reason to be curious about the vigilante causing just as much collateral damage as he was fixing, and he would have already noticed the changes in Peter's behavior.
Their interactions would be a mess. Peter would initially be enthusiastic about Tony knowing (because he wouldn't think he was doing anything wrong, obvs!) and would be disappointed and put out when Tony was horrified instead. I could see things going a couple different waysā Peter begrudgingly agreeing to be more careful if it would smooth things over with his dad, Peter forcing the point by challenging Tony on what he was actually going to do to stop Peter if Peter refused to change his ways (I don't know the answer to that question and neither would Tony lmao,) Tony cottoning on quickly that something had to have changed Peter for him to be acting like this and essentially deciding to play nice/supportive while he investigated what it wasā¦
It would be a whole THING. And yes, I do think Peter's obsessive feelings towards Tony would take that sexual/romantic bent even without Extremis!Tony there to put the thought in his head just because, well, when you only accept one other person on the planet as being your near-equalā¦!! Which would be its own fucked-up dynamic that Tony would have to navigate once he caught on. Yikes!
Extremis!Peter and cured!Tony: if anything this would probably be easier for Tony to manage on the Peter side of things if not on his own "coping with what he did under the influence of Extremis" side of things! He would be able to better anticipate how Peter thought/worked to be able to manipulate him into a position where he could administer some kind of cure. But then, you know, he would have to contend with all the original consequences of SIM!Tony's actions on top of the new horrors of what he and Peter would've gotten up to as a team, soā¦ still yikes!!
(A THOUGHT: I don't know that Tony would allow things to happen this way but it's hot to think about: reverse of the original fic where Extremis!Peter comes on to either normal or somehow-cured Tony, Tony plays along as a ploy to get into a position where he could inject Peter with a cure, butā¦ Peter's enhanced and Tony's not, so Tony is too slow for Peter not to catch him in the act, Peter gets rid of the cure, and then he keeps right on going with the sex. š„°)
tl;dr: yikes all around]]
#fic: double blind#meta#ursa interlude:#thank you for all the questions friendssss šššš#and I promise I am still thinking about all the multiverse questions haha!#they're easy to do as meta questions but not if I want to do a skit so I'm thinkin' on 'em
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#watched the full dome tour vod finally and 90% of the time all i could focus on was hyunjin not being able to finish all the moves#LIKE THEY'RE AMAZING AS ALWAYS! LOVE THEM SM! it was great but#someone please make my guy rest when he hurts himself i am so serious i am so sad legitimately#and the fact that i didn't even know he was hurt until i asked li like sfsgsdfgsdfhdfh#hyunjin just sit down no one will be mad at u i promise š i WILL be mad if you hurt yourself more#((no i won't i'll just cry))#waaagshdfhdghdggjd i feel so sadddd#carly.txt#i will be making gifs anyway i have a bunch of timestamps finally but. grgggergrjeghjghjh
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Recently developed such a bad platonic/friendship crush (idk the word for it... I think there's a word??) on this one person I've barely spoken to š Idk what is is... I just want to be their buddy... I want to do silly activities............ Send me memes and read my fanfics............................
#I cannot express how much I know literally nothing about them#and yet. I must be pals#>:3 !!!#I have SO many mutuals from the dndads fandom that I want to be friends with tbh#like I can count like at least 5 who I've semi-Tumblr stalked for a little while over the past year or so#just bc I think they are cool....#like even before I started being active on Tumblr#or even FOLLOWING THEM on Tumblr#I would check their blogs#I'm sure this sounds insane I just really like making buddies. okay#but it's usually bc I think they're cool and I'm slightly intimidated by them#for this person.. idk they're just kinda easy to talk to! which is fun!!!#it's always hard for me to talk to people online š I'm so much better at holding convos irl or at least over calls/voice memos#even out of my irls I only have a couple who are easy to text..... bc I overthink my messages before I send them lol#so it's always nice to find someone who is easy to talk to ^_^#not that I have really talked to them much at all#anyway sorry for the vaguepost lol#at least it's positive! and hopefully not too weird. I promise I just think you are interesting and cool šš#okay I'm still procrastinating on schoolwork so I should probably go. byee#ellyposting#I will also say NOBODY HERE (about the main subject of this post)#/NBH !!#but I love you all dearly mwah
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okay time to go bother an actual eye doctor because I wanna be the dead secretary so bad. this feels so unhinged and extra. i feel like they're going to laugh me out of the building. but. life is sooooo fucking short man
#this is a weird one for me for some reason#i just want white contacts bro#that feels like a very very silly and not-good-enough reason to bother an actual eye doctor#but i want white contacts that won't be dangerous and cause me problems later š#sooooooo#this is the route i guess#gonna be soooooooo hard to walk up to these people and not feel like i need to apologize repeatedly and self-depreciate#hi i need white contacts for a cosplay i know that sounds silly and dumb to you and i'm wasting your time i'm so sorry#but that's not very fair to myself is it#so i'm going to try and NOT do that#WHY IS THIS SO HARD. THIS IS NOTHING. THIS IS A NOTHINGNESS. WHY AM I SO UPSET ABOUT IT.#they're gonna hate me š#okay fuck it. onwards and upwards#only way out is through etc#promise me you guys won't judge me for making a big deal about nothing#when this is inevitably indeed a nothingness and turns out to not be worth all this upset#promise?#okay love you#muwah
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Is cmi going to continue?š„¹
hi there!! i really want it to, but it depends a lot on you guys, too š„ŗ so far it's not going too bad or super great, but i also don't wanna say or decide anything yet ā i'll wait a lil, since it's a long chapter and it might take people some time to get through it!! will see how things are in a week or so. in any case, support it a lot, loves. i do mean it when i say you can absolutely spam me.. definitely don't wanna abandon them <3
#and i promise i usually don't do this but this time i had to bc life just got SO busy š so there's barely any time left to write#so just wanna make sure i use that time for wips that we truly DO want yk!! yall send so many sweet messages every day š„ŗ#about anything!! only the fic ones lessened a lil somehow but yeah i appreciate all you have to say hehe questions or praise or anything#also nobody has to do it ofc but i also appreciate it so much when some of you drop by and lmk they'll still read later bc they're busy#shows me that you really care and do want to support it and yeah š„ŗ#don't be shy keep giving it love <3 meaning reblogs feedback asks.. makes me so happy mwah#also š cmi11 is fkn awesome and cmi12 even more just saying hehehehehe š#notes for rid š¹#anon#fic: colour me in
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I. I think I have a decent finished draft for the first day of the upcoming Our Flag fan event with those drag based prompts that's coming up later in the month but. Oh. I made myself sad for Izzy in the process š„ŗ
#text post#it's sad in like. a bittersweet way#Izzy's had Ed break up with him again along with Stede (they're a package deal and a package break up too)#and it's implied he's been doing shows for a bit now with John and the rest of the crew at Jackie's in this modern au version of things#and inviting them every time but the two of them often don't show or are late#the day one prompt is roses so i had it be that the show theme is flowers with izzy set to sing la vie en rose BUT#after stede and ed show they aren't paying attention/really caring abt the show or making it to it#he switches his song to Roses by Adam Lambert (read the lyrics and you'll see why i chose it)#and has Archie and Jim help him rig up one of those fake vomit kits you can hide in your sleeve and control with a button#because he's also adding the hanahaki trope to the performance to essentially force himself to vomit out his feelings#abt ed and stede and their lack of care onstage. the 'vomit' is just rose water and crushed v tiny rose petal fragments#and he performs beautifully and the crowd Gets It even if they don't obviously know all the details#and then as he staggers backstage in that post dramatic performance haze#he sees a huge arrangement of roses left on his spot in the dressing area that are clearly so expensive as to be from ed and stede#implying that even after they promised again really this time to make it#they didn't. and all that he got was roses. to quote the song lol#i desperately want to publish it now but i think i should wait until the day of the prompt even if they allow early publishing#It could probably use another edit first anyway that i can do in the meantime but. yeah.#went in to write something fun and Oops All Sad instead š
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HMMMMMM i wna read more books again soon ehe
#š.rambles#sm books to read but i wna prepare for the future by reading in general stuff on like#idk sorry abt rambling this here i promise i'll fix that spam account soon#thinking abt what i wna pursue in the future n hmmm#i'm not rlly sure if i'd like to be a doctor in like. IDK rn i'm not rlly interested in medicine#but. if i learn more abt it i may#enjoy it more or wtvr#astronomy.. i rlly love astronomy i'd love to be an astronomer but. then again i'm not rlly sure#bcs i'd also be good w molecular biology n biotechnology. i'm fond of biology after all#n then cries i also v much love psychology!!!! n i think i'd be good at related careers too#apollo says hi 'listen to linkin park' oh my god help me they're singing that one line of 'in the end' again n again#wait back to earlier though there's also. i'm fond of writing v fond of creative writing.. but being an author is v likely a side thing ofc#n then hdfklasjfd i'm v fond of programming too n compsci in general n Eventually i wna delve into some uhhh game dev yh#but ngl ever since i was young seeing myself as a doctor. i cld always see myself as a doctor#i think neurology is interesting.#BUT THE THING IS ARGHHH EVERYTHING I LIKE IS DIFFICULT TO PURSUE?#i'm g with data science too but it's not as interesting to me as the aforementioned#generally though i guess most of these stuff r for 'smart people' n oh my god no way in fucking hell will i stay in this goddamn country#you See i am very ambitious n maybe i overestimate myself but šš i really really want to succeed big#work is definitely an incredibly important aspect of my life. yk fuck i'm not as strict w acads anymore bcs that fucked me up but#fuck hs it's just burnout for me š„¹ esp w my school w this shitton of assignments. it should be balanced w exams but we don't have nymore#i need. balance. too much of one thing n the complete lack of another is bad for me.#hs bcs of the pandemic has been just assignments n assignments. no lab stuff bcs onsite just resumed n no exams n i hate it honestly#i really really hate how they've handled academics n all for the past few years. it fucked me up too so much#:c i'm so angry at the school system here there's rlly just so much problems. it also fucked some more things in my childhood too#IM RANTING NOW I'M SO SORRY so much is just. weighing me down rn n hdfaksdfjsdlkfj ://#there's more important things than acads. a bit funny for me to say growing up as. yeah.. but more than that i'm an emotional person.#anyways back to books though i genuinely just want to learn so much! learning seeking knowledge gaining wisdom. my curiosity is insatiable
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one thing about me is that i WILL forget about an ask until i get a new one and check my inbox
#sorry ššššš#you guys are very funny and me-pilled We Are The Same#i read all of them even if i don't answer most of them ok i promise i just don't post them if they're like . controversial or mean or somet#hing :/ also if it's been too long ifl it's weird to answer it so there's that
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i cannot explain how much you need to run when you tell someone they're being bad to you and they go like "oh you haven't met the REAL bad yet" mf ur not the joker from the movie joker i promise u š
#it's such a telltale sign that someone is just waiting to be worse to you than they already are#that or they think you're an idiot and should be grateful to the majesty for their bare minimum which is already a warning for you#but also i can't explain how cringe that is jejtfnsj#āoh you think i'm cruel you haven't seen REAL cruelty thenā ur not all that i promise u#i mean yeah ofc ur gonna jump at every opportunity to be a shithead that doesn't surprise me#but these ppl legit think they're antiheroes or something mf go outsideeee you get scared ordering a burger please be fr#ššš
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