#i promise you it will probably happen again so sorry about that in advance

[bunnymcfoo]

Just for the record: JMac had 577 games under his belt before he had the stroke.

…. Oh, yeah, um. Soooo yeah, he had a TIA that ended his career. In case you’re new or new-ish, you may be interested to know the following lore about JMac:

He attended St John's Prep for high school which is “A Xaverian Brothers Sponsored School for young men in grades 6 through 12" (so yeah he's super Irish Diaspora Catholic) and was the captain of both the hockey and football teams his senior year. The school added him to their Hall of Fame in 2014 and there's a video of his speech accepting that honor HERE (skip to 1:08:00)

He played at Boston University for 4 years, graduating in 2009 with a degree in Economics and as a member of the Scarlet Key Honor Society. He also won the John B Simpson award, and was on the Hockey East All Academic Team for 3 years. He wore the C his senior year and led the Terriers to a victory in the Beanpot (photo with trophy) and winning the freaking Natty in the most epic and dramatic way possible - and seriously, go watch that it's an incredible 6 minues wtih an epic comeback and overtime win. (photo with trophy team photo with the trophy and photo at the parade please look at what a baby he was). Also, guys, he played with David Warsofsky who is, in fact, Ryan Warsofsky's younger brother.

Was drafted by the Sharks at the 2006 draft in the 7th round, 202nd overall. That was the same draft class as Brad Marchand, Claude Giroux, James Reimer, Phill Kessel, and Erik Johnson. Played 88 games with the Sharks between 2009 and 2015.

Played for Team USA at the 2018 Olympic Games in PyeongChang. They finished 4th behind the Russians, Germans, and losing Bronze to Canada. Fuckin' Canada, I swear to god. At least the US Women's team beat Canada and got gold that year (it was a fucking awesome game, you should go watch it.) Anyway, there's a cute lil article/interview about him going from his high school's newspaper over HERE.

Played 577 games in the AHL, all but 25 of them with the Sharks' affiliate. Wore the C in 2012-2013 for the Worcester Sharks and then for the San Jose Barracuda from 2016 to 2020 and had 233 penalty minutes. If you wanna see his fights you can find those HERE.

It's completely wild to me but he played on the same team as Timo Meier, Barclay Goodrow, Kevin Labanc, and Jake Middleton. Actually he played with Middsy for, like, 5 years. Like, he was their captain.

YOU GUYS, HE PLAYED WITH AARON DELL FOR NOT ONE BUT TWO SEASONS

Also, I cannot emphasize this enough: go look at the 19-20 roster. Yeah. It's so weird to look at the guys on that team and realize that he played with them and coached them that year BECAUSE:

He had a transient ischemic attack (aka a TIA, basically a stroke) on December 10th, 2019 at the age of 33. He played his last game on December somethingth, officially retired from hockey on December 27th, and was hired as an Assistant Coach the next day. HERE is an article/interview about it in (once again, his high school paper). HERE is the highlight video that the Cuda made for him. Oh, and he obviously won the Fred T Hunt Memorial Award that year.

also, he volunteered for an ALS fundraiser for, like, 6 years and I think that's nifty.

Thank you for coming to my presentation on John McCarthy, head coach of the San Jose Barracuda since May 18 2022 when he succeeded Roy Sommer to the throne i mean position (Le Roi Est Mort, Vive Le Roi!)

I appreciate your time as I may have gotten a little bit carried away. Whoops. >.>

nolly just said poturalski is after this game 5 games short of 500 games in the AHL which is. insane. can we all appreciate that, that's an insane number of games to play in the ahl and not had to have every tooth in your mouth replaced. anyway i got curious who has the most games played in the ahl as an active player and it's cal o'reilly of the milwaukee admirals with 976. NINE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY-SIX. i guess now with our beloathed flohockey i could see if the man still has kneecaps or teeth. 976 games in the ahl is unreal.

also in the top 100 list of games played is former barracuda captain andrew agozzino 🥰🥰 760 games! no wonder he was done with the cuda after one season. i wouldn't have any patience left for jmac if i'd played upwards of 600 ahl games at that point in my career either.

[potofsoup]

i love your fourth of july comics every year but this years feels extremely optimistic about biden’s abilities in the face of him letting roe get overturned and funding a gen*cide at worst or letting it happen at best by taking the bare minimum of regulatory action… i mean can he really be trusted at all anymore to do the right thing or act in line with the people’s demands? and how do we know the people behind project 2025 won’t just rig the election again to get in under false pretenses?

Hihi! Thank you for reading and enjoying my July 4th comics every year! I am in a non-US airport en route to a month-long trip in a place with sketchy internet, so sorry in advance for sloppiness in my response (and potentially going radio silent).

But:

I don't think he "let" Roe get overturned, since that was the Supreme Court's overwhelming conservative majority, which really started with Mitch McConnell refusing to approve Obama's appointee and forcing it into a 2016 election issue. The fact that Trump got to appoint 3 Supreme Court Justices is what got us here.

Re: Biden and the Israel/Hamas war ... on the one hand, there's definitely more that he could have done, but on the other hand, they are a whole other country over there. It's Hamas that initiated the Oct 7 attacks and took the hostages. It's Netanyahu and his right-wing government who decided to retaliate to such extreme extent. Biden can talk about how he would really like Netanyahu to stop fighting and step down, but at the end of the day that's not his call, any more than he can stop the Sudan fighting that is near-genocidal either.

So, to come to your question #1: "Can he really be trusted at all anymore to do the right thing or act in line with the people’s demands"?

For me, it's a resounding YES. Guyz, he has passed so much good domestic policies. My spouse works in green energy and the passing of the Inflation Reduction Act halved his anxiety and gave him legitimate hope. The tumblr post I linked to in my comic has links to many of the other great things that Biden has done. Tbh I voted for him in 2020 because "a moldy onion is still better than Trump", and I've been pleasantly surprised. Like how he tried to cancel student loans, the Supreme Court overturned it, and then he came back 6 months later with a different way to do it that didn't lead to a court challenge.

Is he perfect? Hell no. There's tons of stuff that I wish he did more about, or he went further on, but also he's just one guy heading one branch of government who is heading into an election year. (Just like FDR promising not joining WWII, while behind the scenes doing all the Lend-Lease Act stuff). And "the people" have lots of demands, many of them conflicting.

I'd also like to push at the unspoken part of your question... "Can he really be trusted to do the right thing..." compared to whom? Because right now the answer is "compared to Trump." And compared to Trump... I don't even trust Trump to respect the results of a legitimate election. Heck, he might just take his favorite state secrets, sell them to the highest bidder (or just show them off to someone for funzies), and then claim Presidential immunity. A decent Democrat who got stuff done vs someone who probably wants to pardon himself and all his friends and do Project 2025 stuff is not even on the same level. (Do I wish that there was a viable Democratic alternative to Biden? Sure! But who?) Heck, at this point -- imagine if it's Kamala Harris vs. Trump. Who would you vote for?

As for your question #2: "How do we know the people behind project 2025 won’t just rig the election again to get in under false pretenses?"

We don't. But also what can we do besides showing up to vote?

Actually, I need bullet points for this:

The 2022 midterm elections brought in fewer-than-expected election-deniers into crucial electoral offices at the state level, which means that hopefully most state electoral boards will continue to have integrity

Yes, voting is harder but at least we can still vote. So it's about getting out there and getting your vote counted. For some states, it involves waiting in 8 hour lines. For some states, it involves bringing 2 forms of ID. Document. Track. Make sure it's dropped off in a real ballot box and not a fake one. Don't believe messaging that the voting is happening on a different day or location, etc.

A 50.1% majority is easily challenged. A 55% majority, less so. Which means getting people out to vote.

The more people know about and think about the reality of a second Trump term (versus being disappointed by a Biden term), the more they will be motivated to vote against Trump.

Finally, let's be real here: I'm braced for a 2nd Trump term. That said:

I'm still going to go and vote for Biden, because the only way to prevent a 2nd Trump term is to vote.

A Trump term where either the House or Senate is controlled by the Democrats will be *very* different from a clean Republican sweep.

Even with a clean Republican sweep on the federal level, States have so much more power now, and voting the state level stuff will help shore up Democratic goals for the future. States get to draw voting districts however they want. States get to decide on abortion policies. If you live in a deep Red state, there still might be things to vote for that make it easier to live in now, and turn it purple a few elections down the line.

So at the end of the day, it's "Vote AND". Vote and keep living your best life. Vote and tell others about Project 2025. Vote and have hope. Even if Trump wins, at least you'll have voted against him. Vote and stay to build up a progressive wave for the next election.

[tired-teacher-blog]

On the off chance that Aizawa manages to get you mad at him for whatever reason, your initial reaction would be to let him know, because as quick witted as he is, things like that can easily go over his head if not pointed out clearly.

Surely he hates upsetting you, so when it happens it's usually no more than a misunderstanding, but it's also not in his nature to flat out apologize or ask for forgiveness, that's why he'd do his utmost to lighten the mood and win you back in other ways, and it's a sight to behold.

First he would simply invade your personal space, taking a seat by your side while making sure to bump his knee or shoulder against yours and see if you're willing to have him near.

Obviously you do not react to his advances, but wouldn't push him away either– too intrigued by your own curiosity to dismiss him just yet, so you sit back and enjoy the view of him struggling internally.

He then carefully leans some of his weight on you, will probably even rest his head against yours or place a hand on your thigh, depending on the mood, to which you still say and do nothing.

That's when his patience starts running thin, or rather, when he realizes that he has truly messed up and needs to swallow his pride and apologize properly, and so he does.

_ "I'm sorry I was out of line, but it won't happen again I promise." his voice would be small and anxious as he cautiously takes your hand in his big calloused ones, fiddling with your fingers while gazing at you with a tinge of worry, and that's the only thing he seems capable of doing at the moment.

You immediately give in to a smile that's been threatening to creep across your face this whole time, because in reality, you were never actually upset with him, you were just relishing a side of your boyfriend that you rarely get to witness, but maybe you should cut him some slack already?

_ "It's okay Shouta, let's just forget about it." and you jump in his arms without a warning, giving him no time to react while moving to straddle his waist and watch as his stunned expression slowly switches to an amused one.

_ "Done," he nods in agreement, wrapping his arms around you before nuzzling your cheek to whisper seductively, "now kiss me."

And it doesn't stop there, not with a kiss, never with just a kiss, and his greed for you starts to show when he shamelessly slides his hands lower and lower until reaching your butt cheeks, squeezing your flesh teasingly as a sign of what awaits you, and if that's not enough to tell his intentions, then the smirk curving his lips as they mold perfectly with yours, sure is.

[loveinhawkins]

It’s Dustin who saves Eddie.

He doesn’t try and carry him back to the trailer, nothing like that—if he could manage that on determination alone, then he would, but his throbbing leg has other ideas.

So he stays by Eddie’s side. Throws off his hoodie and starts to rip any piece of his clothing that he can, because he’s come a long way from when he once stuck bandaids on Steve’s beaten up face.

“What… what are you doing?” Eddie says in between gasping breaths.

Dustin would laugh if he wasn’t so scared. “Buying more time,” he echoes. Then he looks Eddie right in the eye and adds, voice wavering, “I’m really fucking sorry in advance.”

He takes a deep breath and presses the material to Eddie’s chest with force.

Eddie screams.

Dustin grits his teeth. Keeps going.

He creates makeshift tourniquets for Eddie’s arms, keeps tearing at his shirt, then takes it off entirely to use as a larger bandage, ignoring the shock of cold against his skin; the only thought in his head is that he has to stop the bleeding.

Eddie’s hand finds his bare shoulder. Squeezes weakly. “Tha’s enough,” he slurs. “D-Dustin, stop.”

And Dustin only does what he says because it doesn’t look like any more blood is soaking through the material. He keeps pressure on the worst of the wounds, tries to keep his elbows locked, as if that will stop his relentless shivering.

And when he looks up, he sees a tear fall from Eddie’s eye, down his temple, into his hair—and Dustin somehow knows that it’s not from pain alone, that Eddie’s crying just because he can see how cold he is.

“M’sorry,” Eddie whispers. “Never meant for… for you to—”

“Shut up,” Dustin says, then hastily amends, “Actually, don’t shut up, just—just stay awake. They’ll be back soon, okay, Steve and Robin and Nancy, and they’ll—”

“Steve,” Eddie agrees. His voice goes up and down, like a little song: “Steve, Steve, Steve.”

“Yeah, he’ll—hey, Eddie, eyes open.”

“Mm-hmm,” Eddie says faintly. “Eyes… oh, forgot to… you were right, H-Henderson, he’s… a badass. S’got pretty eyes, too, like wow. Pretty, pretty…”

And…

Well. That’s a development.

“You can tell me all about Steve’s pretty eyes if you keep yours open.”

And Eddie’s eyes do jolt open at that, like he’s received an electric shock. He groans in mortification.

“Jesus Christ. Didn’t mean to—fuck, feel like I’m drunk, man, I can’t… just kill me.”

Dustin thinks he probably would have found that request funny if Eddie wasn’t saying it through teeth flecked with blood.

Still, he does let out a strangled, hysterical giggle when he says, “I know how to keep you awake now.”

Eddie groans again. “Spare me the—”

“He sings in the shower, like, full blown Elvis impression, all that jazz. And he denies having lucky socks, but he wears the same pair whenever Lucas has a basketball game.”

“Huh?” Eddie says eloquently.

“Pay attention, dude, you need to know what you’re getting into! Oh, he said when he went to see The Fox and the Hound, he cried.”

Eddie chuckles. “That’s… oh, that’s sweet.” He smiles, eyes bright, and Dustin suddenly knows that they’re gonna be okay. “Keep going?”

Dustin does. He talks about how Steve always says, “Two for joy,” even when he sees a singular magpie, because he reasons that the second one is always just hiding. How he eats ice-cream too fast, does a comical hop in place when he inevitably gets brain freeze. That whenever he happens to pick up Dustin from school, he almost always has a Simon and Garfunkel tape playing, sings along to At the Zoo as he turns out of the parking lot.

Dustin doesn’t mention the Farrah Fawcett spray; a promise is a promise.

Eddie seems pretty damn well entertained with what he’s been given, anyway. He keeps smiling, lets out breathy chuckles that give Dustin hope: that he still has enough energy to laugh.

“Okay, okay, I’m awake,” he says, “I’m so awake, jus’… you just relax.”

And it’s only when Dustin stops talking that he realises his teeth have been chattering the whole time.

Eddie gives an unhappy sounding hum, and his hand comes up to clumsily rub at Dustin’s forearm.

“Your lips are blue.”

“I’m f-fine.”

A sudden desperate yell splits through the air; Dustin didn’t know that Steve could sound quite like that.

“Here!” Dustin shouts as much as he can.

He hears three people running; Steve gets there first.

Eddie’s eyes go wide. “Steve,” he says, and Dustin’s seen enough movies to think that this could be it, the big moment, or at the very least that Eddie’s about to give another wandering speech on Steve’s eyes.

But instead—

“Steve, Steve,” Eddie repeats, “Dustin’s cold.”

“Jesus Christ,” Steve says; he’s already taking off his jacket, shoving Dustin into it with this frantic mixture of urgency and care.

Dustin’s shivers get even more pronounced as the jacket’s zipped up, as the warmth from Steve’s body heat hits him.

“Think E-Eddie’s—b-bleeding stopped,” he says, accidentally biting on his tongue thanks to his chattering teeth.

Steve looks over Dustin’s handiwork, eyes shining. “Yeah, you did good,” he says, choked, rubs his hands down Dustin’s forearms more effectually than Eddie had. “You did so good.”

“You must’ve been wearing your socks tonight, Harrington,” Eddie says.

Steve stares at him. It’s only when he starts to laugh that Dustin realises he’s crying at the same time. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Shh, s’okay,” Eddie says. “I cried at th’movie, too, don’ tell anyone. S’not fair what… s’posed to be a happy endin’…”

Steve catches Dustin’s eye, says, deadpan, even with a tear-streaked face, “Doc, I think we’re losing him.”

Dustin whacks him on the arm, because it’s so stupid, it’s so Steve, and, God, they're really gonna be okay.

“Dustin’s th’best doctor,” Eddie chants, “best, best, best…”

“Yeah, he’s a goddamn superhero,” Steve says sincerely.

There’s a look Steve has on his face while he lifts Eddie up, a fleeting softness right before he goes back into planning mode, scanning the trailer park in case of any more threats; where Eddie’s fingers curl around Steve’s neck, and Steve smiles down at him, and…

Dustin would put a bet on Steve thinking Eddie has pretty eyes, too.

At least, he would if he could stand up.

When Steve clocks his leg, his jaw works a couple of times before he speaks. “Hey, Robin, Nance?” He raises his voice, looking to some point in the distance. “Could you—help Dustin up, I’ve—uh, kinda got my hands full.”

His tone is light, but his chin trembles just a bit, like he might break down at the thought that he can’t carry Dustin out of here, too.

“Okay, c’mon superhero,” Robin says, suddenly by Dustin’s side; she counts down, and then Dustin’s being carefully lifted up, an arm flung around Nancy, too.

“I’m okay,” Dustin feels the need to say. Robin and Nancy are out of breath, and he can’t help noticing the vivid red marks around their necks.

“Yeah, you will be,” Robin corrects.

“Is—is Eddie—?”

“Look, he’s right in front,” Nancy says. “Steve’s got him.” She lowers her voice and when she says, “You were really brave, you know,” Dustin has to swallow a lump in his throat: for a moment feels thirteen years old, her hand in his at the Snow Ball.

And she’s right; Eddie is right in front. Dustin can see him trailing a hand up and down Steve’s arm, slow and soothing, and he’s talking, just too far away to be heard.

For a few steps, Dustin thinks that Eddie must be spilling more of what he’s learned, regurgitating the anecdotes.

But then Robin and Nancy pull him a little closer. And he can read Eddie’s lips.

He’s okay, Eddie is saying, looking away from Steve’s face to find where Dustin is. He’s right behind us, sweetheart. He’s okay.

[luvvixu]

mind over matter pt. 4

synopsis: witness how your marriage was bound to fall apart with you on the front seat and your husband gojo had missed the show—now, he gotta figure out the story on his own.

content: arrange marriage au, angst, husband!gojo, mean!gojo, mention of blood, strong languages, some unsettling scenarios, emotional trauma, read at your own risk

a/n: ok, im such a bad author now huhu, i always broke my promises about updating the new chapter :((( should've just wrote in advance but i'm afraid i don't have that enough free time oqsjjanswjaj anyways, here's the anticipated chapter!! THANK YOU FOR Y'ALL PATIENCE <3 MWUHEHEHHEEHHE

previous / masterlist / next

the next day comes and you've got yourself some visitors. megumi, yuuji, nobara, maki, and inumaki was in your room and they were all seated around you as you talk.

panda and your two third years were not around at the moment because this is a non-sorcerer hospital and people would freak out to see a big ‘talking’ panda. during your two third years, they were out of town and were on a mission but they still text you to get well and even send you some fresh flowers.

“wait, i still can't believe that he's your husband.” nobara couldn't explain his shock at the revelation. out of all, she didn't think that her goofy teacher was someone's husband.

you chuckled at her reactions as you turned your gaze on megumi, who's still his mouth hanging. “megumi, i thought you're getting a hint?” you tease the boy. although it was true, you actually thought he already had an idea because you've known him for almost his entire life and even once lived with you as a kid.

“no…” was only his answer.

“so, gojo-sensei was the one you're talking about when you said that he was a busy man. most of his job requires being out of town. but he never fails to shower you with love and he is making sure that you two would still communicate despite his busy schedule?” your eyes widened when yuuji literally just said what you had said from before, word-by-word!

“i—i supposed he is.” everyone in the room sweat dropped at your answer.

what do you mean you supposed?!

“y/n-sensei, is it okay if we ask your baby?” maki chooses the gentlest approach because she heard that post-pregnancy can make the mother quite crikey, sensitive, and is prone to depression. but to her relief, you respond to her warmly.

“oh, the baby is being treated since they're premature. i really can't wait to meet them once i get better. but right now, shoko was the only one who had seen my baby.” you smiled softly at the thought of your baby.

“gojo-sensei still hadn't seen the baby?” maki’s eyes went wide.

you nodded. “yeah, he said we should go together so i must heal quickly for that to happen.”

the door suddenly opened and it revealed your husband with food in his hand. you smiled at the packages not because you're hungry, but because you had finally persuaded satoru to go out and leave you even for just a few minutes.

how did you do it? well, you just give him an earful after what he did yesterday night and he's like;

“i don't know how you did it but you should've just gone to the convenience store or the hospital canteen just for an oatmeal and eggs. and look, i'm not upset over the fact that you just had the ‘very easy to get’ food delivered on this doorstep. what concerns me is you seem not to trust me very well to handle myself— well in fact i've been doing it since i was a kid and blah, blah, blah, blah…” it was your turn to yap but a little longer than he did. you even probably bought up some of his minor mistakes like not taking out the trash on random sunday night.

and he was like, “i'm sorry. i won’t do it again ( •̯́ ^ •̯̀)”

“y'all done backstabbing me?” satoru teasingly smiled at you all.

“oh, we're just getting started. so why don't you take a seat and hear us out?” you patted the empty space of your bed beside you.

satoru playfully huffed and gave the foods to his students and let them distribute it themselves. sitting beside you, he gave you the separate plastic with food and helped you feed yourself. the two of you had your moment with you telling satoru to just let you be and stop feeding you like a kid, but satoru was like nuh uh—and it goes on and on.

meanwhile, the students watch you two with surprise in their eyes. they still couldn't digest the fact that you two had managed to hide your marriage for like five years or so. and out of all spouses out there, they couldn't believe their eyes that you married a guy that is a total opposite of you.

“i still cannot really believe that you're married and have a baddie wife.” nobara almost never tears her gaze towards you two.

“yeah, much more is that they look so in love!” yuuji agrees to what nobara said as his words made you two stop bickering instantly.

like a cold water being poured, you two were suddenly experiencing a reality check that this so-called in love was very far from the two of you actually is. coughing slightly to hide his awkwardness and nervousness, he just let himself chuckle. while you? you're an expert at this, you maintain a smiley expression and wordlessly (and also forcefully) agrees to what the boy said.

“oh my, do we?” putting a hand on your cheek, you smiled with your eyes closed. your act looks so legit but satoru has seen this multiple side—he knew this facade was all fake.

maki suddenly puts herself into attention by calling your name. “anyway y/n-sensei, i've noticed you two don't have a ring—” before she could even finish her sentence, you already beat her to it.

“that's because the two of us, mostly him, are constantly fighting curses and both involve using our hands when we use our techniques. it would be risky to wear it and we're scared that we might get it lost or damaged.” you explain meticulously.

you watch the students agree to your explanation, while satoru is looking at you with meaning. you stared back at him too, hoping that he would get your telepathic message.

“alright guys, your y/n-sensei needs to rest now. we'll just see you guys soon or you can all just drop by tomorrow after your training.” satoru called everyone's attention by clapping his hands then started to playfully shoo the students.

you watch them pack their things and wave you a happy goodbye, in which you return their enthusiasm as well. when they all left, you let out a sigh and started to gently lie your body on the bed. satoru, who was done cleaning just now, sit at the end of your bed and carefully massage your legs.

“did you have fun with them?” you just lazily hum at his question and proceed to rest your eyes.

“i…i'm surprised you managed to convince them about our marriage.” satoru continued quietly.

opening one of your eyes and looking at him, you said, “of course, i've been doing it to a lot of people for the past five years.”

that alone made him shut up.

satoru looked down to his hands, which were still busy massaging your legs. you've noticed that his eyes were casted down and his behavior was somewhat familiar to you, he's feeling something that is related to guilt and regret.

clicking your tongue, you're in no mood to deal with his behavior today. so to find a solution to this problem, you just put yourself to sleep and let all of this just go on without a single care.

it has been two days and you're getting better day by day. today was probably the bestest day so far because you're about to finally see your own baby!

“calm down, mama. do you want your stitches to open again?” shoko holds your knees to stop it from shaking anxiously as you were currently sitting just right outside the neonatal intensive care unit (nicu) where your baby was.

you understand that the doctors need to prepare the room first before you all come in, but you wished that they speed it up.

“but sho, i'm finally seeing my baby!” you squeal at your friend who just ruffles your hair and tells you to be patient—in which you definitely can't.

meanwhile, satoru, who was standing beside you while you and shoko were sitting together, has been eyeing you since this whole waiting. he understands that you're excited about seeing the baby because he is too, he is excited. but he couldn't help but to feel a sensation that you would rather share your excitement with others than him.

he knows that he sounds ridiculous and undeserving to say that in the first place after what he did to put you through, but he still couldn't help it and he wouldn't even dare to say it to you.

the door of the nicu just opened and it revealed the doctor who was wearing protective gear to keep bacterias and viruses from entering the room and harm the baby. before he lets you all in, he first instructs you all to change the same gear as him and then proceeds to give you all some explanation in which you actively listen and take notes.

and after that, he finally lets you go inside.

the moment your eyes traveled on a crib, you saw your child laying down there with some breathing apparatus that is connected to their little body. you could feel your eyes swell with hot tears as you inch yourself towards the bundle of joy who's their crib was also protected with glass and only small holes on both sides were there.

satoru and shoko watched you with pure warmth at your sight—it was a nice scene of mother's love. finally, a tear escapes your eyes the moment you get a whole view of your child.

“isn't he pretty?” shoko said beside you, someone who you didn't notice had come near you.

you gasp, “he? m-my baby is a boy?” your cries go even harder, but it was just pure happiness. you couldn't bring yourself to tear your gaze away from your child even though he looks fragile for being premature but you love him dearly.

“can i touch him?” you look at the doctor who assisted you earlier without caring that you might look like a crying mess. you're far more thrilled to be with your child than to be pretty at this moment.

the doctor smiled at you and he agreed. he pointed out the small hole on the side, telling you to stick your hands out to feel your baby. you do what he said with your shaky hands, and when your fingertips touch his warm skin—you feel like you could die from the burst of euphoria.

“my b-baby, my baby is n-now here!” you really can't hold your emotions back as you keep on passing your fingers through your baby's arm until it reaches his closed hands where you slightly and gently open it for him to grab index finger. and when he does, your smile becomes even wider.

“hi baby~ this is me, your mommy. it's so nice to finally see you.” you whispered softly, hoping that despite the glass, he could hear your words.

this is the bestest day of your life. your baby was here and that's all you need.

the scene continues to unfold with you still getting emotional and shoko was just watching you with a smile on her face. while satoru, the father of the child, the husband of the mother, was a little distant but he could still see the baby. he was all quiet and couldn't bring himself to utter a word but he's not speechless.

his eyes behind those glasses were trailed on the child, but most of his gazes were on you. satoru watches you become all smiley—this is probably the happiest smile he had seen on your lips for the past years of your marriage.

and he would absolutely never forgive himself if he breaks it—but he already did.

shoko notices his odd behavior and promptly leaves your side for a while (but you're busy having a baby talk with your baby to notice her leaving) to go talk to him.

“what? you're just gonna stand there and watch y/n?” yup. still the same as before, hostile towards the man. satoru let out a sigh and didn't give her attention. instead, he walked towards y/n and just focused on his family.

“you’re so tiny!” you continue to cooed at your son who keeps on moving slightly which is a good sign that your son is responsive and fighting. you also noticed that satoru was now right beside you and is looking at your son too with adoration tinted in his eyes.

“i don't think i could let myself be away from him anymore.” you said. your cheeks were now hurting from constant smiling but you don't mind.

satoru only looks at you briefly because his attention was now on his son, fully. “hello, it was nice finally meeting you.” his eyes trailed on his own flesh and blood with the most care of all.

on the other hand, you're not dumb to not notice that satoru was acting hesitant towards this scene and you knew what his reason was. you think that satoru thinks that he was undeserving to be here, and you're correct about his assumption.

but as a woman who grew up with an experience of being inside a shattered family, you absolutely would not want that to happen to your own child. and as much as you would also like to satoru be away at least for now because you're still that sensitive about what he had said during those conversations in the clinic and hallway, you respect his role as a father.

you'd give him a chance to prove his worth as a father to your child, but he's far worse to have a chance to prove his worth as a husband to you. if he messes this up real bad and without any proper explanation, this will be all over—satoru would no longer have you and your child as his own family.

“stick your hand on his hole, that way you could feel him.” you guided his hand towards the hole that you had said before and watched his hands turn shakey as he reached for the baby.

once satoru had finally experienced a skin-to-skin touch with his baby, he wanted to cry so badly but he didn't allow himself to, at least not yet. he felt like this was one of the best moments in his existence.

satoru would like to punch himself for questioning the baby for his plans as he seemingly thinks it would affect him. but just when he look and touch his baby, all of his recollection about the mixed emotions he felt when the baby is on the board has suddenly vanished and it was replaced with gratefulness and adoration for both of you.

it was like a full 360 degrees turn was done after the early birth of his first born. plus, he had seen you be ever so happy that you are with him. and deep inside him, satoru deniably hopes that this kid, this child, can at least help him save this marriage that was destined to fail and doomed.

because he now finally realizes that you're slowly wrapping him around your tiny fingers.

your tears had made him be a better person, your recent experience had made him behave. it almost cost you and your baby's wife just for him to realize the importance of your five years of marriage, and he's planning to tell you that soon.

“have you finally decided what name we should give him?” shoko asked you and she didn't fail to see your eyes sparkle at the mention of name.

ah yes, baby names.

that was something that a mother and father should decide together because it comes very crucial because the name that your baby will get is a symbol of you two's relationship. but the thing is, you and your husband hadn't talked about a single thing or just anything related to this matter.

that's probably why you're still embarrassed whenever you think about nanami accidentally seeing you open a website into one of the school's computers about unique baby names with its meaning.

you're four months pregnant at that time and you're spending your free time in a teacher's lounge. you're very invested in your mini research to the point that you didn't notice an old friend peeking at your screen. you actually only notice his presence when you're about to stretch but accidentally bump his torso, and to your surprise, he was there.

and then the rest becomes a story and history. nanami helped you pick baby names for both genders or even unisex until you came out with…

“kazuki. let's name him that.” a soft smile was decorated on your lips as you watched satoru, who's looking at you, plays with the hands of your son.

“kazuki…that's a nice name, y/n.” satoru said happily. however, you can see his disappointment behind those words and you know why. you didn't even invite him to search for your baby's name because why would you?

“does it have any special meaning?” shoko asked you.

you nodded and said, “of course, kazuki means hope of peace—and i really need that.”

taglists: @mistymuii @kalopsia-flaneur @sherryuki-callmeyuki @aish777 @tttttttf @slyhersophia @rirk-ke @labelt-san @shinruo @testrella @sad-darksoul @kurookinnie @mountvesuvu @chwesuh-imnida @cole-silas @elernity @maddie-jayne @yozora7154 @kawaiivillainess98 @forourpoets @aishies-stuff @numblytemporary @souyasplushie @catarinemirandax @aerithsthingss @h1gh4ru @ssetsuka @jskodn @khoiyyu @the2ndl @vebbiewuzhere @kouyoumarryme @dreamyescapesfromreality @local-mr-frog @haesify @blkmystery @bleppt @leavem3al0n3 @arminloverlol @megumisthirdog @shirabane @sheismaryy @tragicgirl444 @vampsins @miizuzu @kurobo @anxious-chick @p1nkliquor @mshitachin @chxrv @lolsasuke @username23345 @netyxms @lvstru @roscpctals99 @buttermilktea11 @berenevenstarzetaestelar @jiupark @hotsauce247 @veryverysadauthor @skepticalleo @opentheyoor01 @slowlyshycomputer @babybarbs12 @thickemadame @yaninnaacu @foggypostshark

[part 5 will be just there right around the corner — ©luvvixu2024]

[dreamerinthemoonlight]

Genshin Cuddles HCs (Cyno, Tighnari, Xiao)

I am having a huge burst of creative energy. I should be going to bed but NO! I will think of cuddling with the genshin boys. This is going to be weird. Awake me takes no responsibility for what sleep deprived me does. Reader is assumed to be short because I am and this is a self insert, hehe;  slight angst in Xiao's (I mean, it's Xiao)

A/N: Good gods, I really was tired when I did this. I had next to no formatting, a childish Authors note. To anyone who read this on my other blog, I am really, really sorry. I won't promise it won't happen again, so I'll apologize in advance for any future instances of sleepy posting.

I did my best to extent Tighnari's a little. Our fox-boy deserves more than a few sentences

Cyno x gn!reader, Tighnari x gn!reader, Xiao x gn!reader

Cyno

Mr. Serious Mahamatra is actually an amazing cuddler

He's a settled person so he's not going to fidget and squirm. He could probably cuddle for hours if you both had time.

Spooning is very much a favorite. Especially if you've had a long day, the two of you will lay in bed. He'll press himself against you back, wrapping his arms around you and pressing his lips into your hair. Even though he's one of the smaller Genshin guys, he's warm and radiates this steady, grounded energy. Being the little spoon makes you feel safe and cared for. More often than not you fall asleep when spooning.

On the other hand, when Cyno gets home after a long mission, you'll curl up on the couch with his head on your chest

After the darkness that permeates his job, your heartbeat represents light and life and goodness. He values the time spent listening to your heartbeat just as much as he values rules and justice. It's a balance he needs and he knows it.

Tighnari

You know how kittens will curl up in little piles, facing each other and all and it is really, really cute?

Yea, that's you and Tighnari

You'll kinda burrow into each other and he'll wrap his tail around your legs

He'll even yet you scratch his ears while he pets your hair. No sleeping really ever happens like this, but it's so relaxing you might as well have taken a nap

If you're cuddling because you had a really bad day, you two might spoon, or you'll sit on his lap while he holds you and lets you pet his tail.

If you happen to fall asleep while cuddling his tail like a stuffed animal, he's fine with it, but is glad there's no one around to take a picture because that would just be embarrassing.

Xiao

Xiao is probably so touch starved it's stupid

Once he starts getting physical affection and serious cuddles, he realizes that he actually really needs it not that you mind

Like Cyno the type of cuddles depends on the situation

He's not as into spooning, though it does happen especially late night when you're tired and ready to sleep. I think he really wants to be able to see your face and even in Teyvat physics don't really allow for that when spooning

Instead, when you're the one who needs comfort and touch, you snuggle up to his side and he wraps his arm around you. As usual he doesn't say much,  but with Xiao, he really lets his actions speak for him

When he needs the comfort, he tends to want you on his lap where his can bury his face in the crook of your neck. He wraps his arms tight around you like he's scared to let you go.

It's all you can you to stroke his hair or gently rub his back. Just like his actions speak louder than words, your actions are more likely to reach him than platitudes, though you make sure to use your words as well. He really could use them

And sometimes you're just in the mood to cuddle at which point it depends on when and where. His head in your lap, yours in his, honestly, all he cares about is being able to see your face and be in contact with you

[aihaitahm]

Hello! Do you mind doing headcanons of dan heng, blade and jing yuan with a reincarnated s/o?? Like their s/o died in the past long ago in a war or something but got reincarnated again, the s/o doesn't remember them right away, thank you so much in advance ❤❤❤

hsr men and how they react to reuniting with reincarnated! s/o!

cw death, ooc? gn! reader, more in depth abt blade’s lore so i hope its correct !! been looking into it. kinda angst —> comfort.

sorry for the wait!! been busy but hope u like it:3

characters: dan heng, blade, jing yuan

dan heng

up to this day, he remembers the promises you both made, what you liked, disliked and everything about you. although reminiscing does not hurt him like it used to, it still makes him long for your presence.

the type to get dreams of you and when you tell him in his dreams that you will most certainly meet again, he is patient enough to wait. maybe it was foolish to rely on dreams but his desire to meet you and love you again is immeasurable.

time passed by and dan heng was still waiting, wearing the bracelet you always wore. he would always fiddle on it when he is worried. maybe he should stop waiting? but what if you appear when you stop waiting?

when himeko and welt came back from an expedition, they brought in a new member of the astral express. their name happened to be (name) and they happen to have similar features to the one dan heng has always remembered.

dan heng’s eyes widened as he realized his dreams were correct. you were correct. he continued to stare at you while doing your introduction. you looked ethereal, you looked timeless as if youve never aged the last time hes seen you and it was like youve always been alive.

you caught up on his staring after you introduced yourself to the astral express and vice versa. you somehow cant put a finger on why he does look familiar but you felt at ease just being with him.

“um… dan heng correct? we have the same bracelet, can i ask where did you get it from? also do i know you?”

“i got this from someone who i used to know and their name was also (name). they made it for me.”

blade

after sacrificing himself to become a blade, his memory of you was not the best however he still felt the same intensity of emotions he held whenever he remembers your name. he doesnt know if its a blessing or a curse.

despite being blade, some parts of him is still ren. and ren has intense feelings for you. blade for some reason remembers the last argument you both had before you died. you were concerned about him possessing and delving into more power which lead to him being defensive and arguing with you.

as much as blade likes remembering you, your touch, your love and you in general, he cant help but harbour some guilt and sadness. he’d prefer if he left your name alone in peace. even though he wants to get to know you again and apologize, what was the point if you were dead. if your lives werent meant to meet each other again in any universe? it would be best if he just forgets about you.

fast forward and his bad luck struck him or this is probably in elios’ script but he was now arrested by the cloud knights of xianzhou alliance. it wasnt much of big of a deal to be honest but while in his cell, one of the cloud knights didnt have a helmet on, guarding his room.

he caught a glimpse of your face and this unlocks a lot of his memories as ren. how… timely, ironic it was to be held captive by your own reincarnation. its as if the heavens really planned it from the start.

you felt him staring at your face and which you snarled asking if theres something wrong. he just continously stared and smirked. you couldnt shake a feeling of familiarity with blade but aeons its an unbearable feeling but why would you say this to the general or other cloud knights… they might just interrogate you.

“you know if youre not going to answer my question well so be it. i know ive seen you in my dreams. i know we’ve met before. i know you know me from somewhere. but who are you?”

“you are bold as ever… but you should maybe figure out things on your own? its no fun giving you all the answers is it not? my new appearance is a clue, i’ll give you that.”

jing yuan

you knew jing yuan as your sparring mate whenever he was under jingliu and you under a different master. you both trained to becoming the strongest and maybe compete for the highest title of the alliance.

you sparred almost everyday with him. he enjoyed every moment he has with you. whether it was going for walks or eating food with you, it is a cherishable moment for him and you too. as you both grew into your teen years, you both happened to confess at the same time and became official.

unfortunately, your death caught up with you quickly. jing yuan was still quite young to experience grief but it didnt hinder him to train the hardest. jingliu wasnt in particular fond of you in the first place since you were distacting him.

without letting his master know, jing yuan would write letters to you everyday about what hes doing and how much he loves you. wherever you are he knows you both are in the same world or universe one way or another. he keeps most of your possessions because he believes it is his goodluck charm.

when he became general, he still wrote letters to you and even ask some of his servants to make a mini statue of your weapon to be displayed, in exchange for great amounts of money. he deeply misses you and he knows he carries a great amount of responsibility now that he is a leader. he secretly prays he gets to meet you again, even for one last time.

one faithful morning, he stumbled across a familiar face while shopping miscellaneous stuff for his cute mimi because he accidentally bumped into you pretty hard.

“ouch! be mindful of where you’re…. i-i apologize! i didnt mean to.”

“oh its alright it is actually my fault, i apologize. sorry to ask you this question but is your name (name)?”

“yes it is… why do you ask?

… on second thought i think you look familiar asides from the fact youre the general, i feel like i’ve known you before.”

[milkywaygalaxygurl]

In Another Life - Finnick Odair

oh lord i did not mean for this fic to end so sadly and turn out so angsty, but i simply don’t think they’d ever truly get a happy ending in this situation no matter how much i wish they could:’) i really hope y’all like this

Pairing: Finnick Odair x Female!Reader

Warnings: finnick is possibly ooc?, talk of sexual trauma, talk of finnick’s past, y/n also has a bad past, probably cursing, so much angst and there is not a happy ending

Word Count: 2.37k

Description: (i suck at descriptions i’m sorry if this sucks lol) Finnick meets Y/N and thinks she’ll be just like everyone else, vying to get her hands on him and use him just like all the others. So, he puts on his ever charming smile and flirtatious personality. Y/N isn’t into his advances and walks away. They eventually discover that they’re more similar than they think, forming a friendship and eventually falling in love.

Being a young girl from the Capitol, you were no stranger to the evil that lived within the rooms of fancy homes and danced at extravagant parties. You weren’t clueless about the hands that never seemed to know boundaries, about the voices that spoke far too loudly and confidently about vile things. You had always seen it, always known about it. It wasn’t until the age of 14 when you became acutely aware of it. It was a memory you didn’t like to dwell on, but it did haunt you.

Finnick was a stranger to these “secrets” that lived within the Capitol walls before he won his games. He naively believed that all burdens, all hardships, were left behind the moment he left the districts and won his games. It wasn’t until the first time it happened that he realized he was wrong. In that moment, Finnick promised himself that he’d never be so naive again. He learned to realize who wanted to use him, taught himself to plaster on a fake smile and offer himself up on a silver platter because it made him feel as if he had some semblance of a choice about the things being done to him.

You didn’t meet Finnick until you were nearly 20 years old. By then you had learned to spot the eyes that seemed to linger for too long and hands that were eager to grab. You had also learned to fight back, you didn’t care of the repercussions and the way you were ostracized because of it. You were finally untouchable, even if it was at the cost of your reputation. You were standing along the wall at yet another fancy dinner party, one your parents had dragged you to because “You need to at least try to salvage your reputation, Y/N!”

Finnick had stumbled out of a hallway, fixing his hair and straightening his clothes, when you first saw him. You knew of Finnick, knew of his lovers that he’d seemed to have an abundance of every single time he visited the Capitol. You didn’t mean to stare at him for so long, you truly hadn’t, but even you could admit that it was hard to look away from him. You understood why everyone called him the Capitol’s pretty boy. Your staring had caused him to notice you, to plaster on a grin as he approached where you stood.

Finnick thought you were beautiful, breathtaking even, but the second he saw the way your eyes lingered he knew you would be just like the rest of the twisted people inside this house. Maybe you were interested in getting your hands on him tonight and though you couldn’t offer any valuable secrets like the woman he left in the other room, at least you were prettier than most of the women he’d allowed to use him. He made his way to you, ready to put on the show everyone loved to watch.

“I don’t believe we’ve ever met.” His voice is sultry, his eyes raking your body. As he looks into your eyes, he feels a split second of familiarity before your expression switches to one of disgust. He can’t quite seem to place why your eyes seem familiar, maybe he had seen you before and just doesn’t remember.

“Don’t act like you weren’t staring at me from across the room, pretty girl. Don’t be shy, what’s your name?” His next sentence causes you to physically recoil from him, stepping away as you ball your hands into fists.

“My name is Y/N and I am walking away from this conversation, do not follow me.” Your voice is harsh as you step back once again, swiftly turning to escape out of the nearest exit. Finnick is taken aback as he watches you leave the party, the smile wiped off of his face as his mouth hangs open slightly.

“Don’t take it to heart, that girl is practically off limits with how vehemently she hates men. I’ve been trying for years, believe me.” An old man chuckles and claps Finnick on the shoulder, causing him to turn and look at the man. He raises an eyebrow, encouraging the man to explain further.

“Only a few people have ever gotten their hands on her, whether she was willing or not.” The man laughs heartily, in a way that only someone purely evil at heart could after saying something like that. Finnick forces himself to laugh before excusing himself from the interaction, suddenly feeling sick to his stomach.

It wasn’t until months later that Finnick saw you again. You look just as breathtaking as you did the last time, though he couldn’t help but notice the way you surveyed the room and shied away from any man in your vicinity. He suddenly understood why your eyes seemed so distinctly familiar, they held the same look as his own when he was on the lookout for people who wished to get their hands on him. For a split second, he was jealous that you had the privilege to fight back and say no.

He never had that choice, the ever present threat of what Snow would do haunting his every decision. Without realizing it, Finnick had began to walk towards you. By the time he stood in front of you, all jealousy of your privilege had dissipated. He simply was angry at the Capitol for making either of you go through these things. It takes you a second to realize he’s standing in front of you, but the second you do your body goes rigid.

Finnick is quickly spitting out a sentence before you have the chance to walk away, not wanting you to be scared of him. “I’m sorry for our last interaction, I shouldn’t have acted like that. Can we have a do-over, one where I don’t make a complete ass of myself?”

You look shocked by his apology, something that causes a harsh pain to stab through Finnick’s heart. Though he can tell your guard is still up, you seem willing to listen to him.

“My name is Finnick, it’s nice to meet you.” He holds his hand out to you, hoping with everything in him that you’d take it. You stare at him for a second before sighing, reaching out to shake his hand.

“I’m Y/N, it’s nice to meet you as well.” Your smile is timid, almost scared, as you take your hand away from his. You didn’t know what this man’s intentions were, but he seemed to be kinder than most about his evil intentions if he had any.

“I apologize again for our last interaction, I’m a little too used to everyone wanting me.” He smiles sheepishly, almost sadly, as he looks at you. Everything clicks in your head when you see that smile, suddenly understanding the boy who stands before you. Your heart aches, your stomach turning as you are forced to wonder the horrors they put him through after he won the games.

You realize suddenly that you are simply two different examples of what sexual abuse does to a person. Finnick sees it all click in your head, the way your eyes become sad with understanding and seeing the walls you built so high crumble. He’s scared for a moment that you’ll turn away again, repulsed by him.

“Would you like to go for a walk with me, Finnick?” Your voice is soft as you speak, as if you’re scared to speak too loudly and scare him away. He nods instead of answering verbally, simply holding his arm out for you to take. Other partygoers watch the exchange, whispering amongst themselves as they watch you leave with Finnick.

The walk begins with the exchange of traumas, things neither of you have ever talked about to another living soul. You both shed tears, offer words of comfort, do anything to hold each other together as you stroll along the dark streets of the Capitol. Eventually, you find yourself walking him to your home. When you’ve both settled into the couch, you suddenly take in the fact that you have never felt so safe with anyone before. Your heart leaps, your eyes welling with tears again.

Finnick notices, reaching a hand out to grab your own. You are struck with the realization that he is the only man to have touched you without the intention to hurt you, to abuse you. This only brings on more tears as you chuckle.

“These aren’t sad tears, I don’t quite understand why I’m crying.” You sniffle, giggling again as you wipe your nose with the sleeve of your dress.

“You’re the first person who’s ever treated me like a human being and it’s causing me to feel a lot of things.” You laugh again and Finnick chuckles sadly beside you, rubbing the back of your hand softly with his thumb.

“If it’s any consolation, you’re the first Capitol citizen to make me feel like I matter for more than what I can do in bed.” You both giggle, neither of you quite understanding why it is funny but laughing nonetheless. You’d learned over the years that laughing about the pain made it slightly more bearable.

“Gosh, look at us.” You guys fall into a fit of laughter again, both of you wiping away tears when you finally calm down. After a beat of silence, the conversation picks back up. You move on to lighter subjects, talking about interests and hobbies. By the time the sun is rising outside your window, you consider Finnick one of your best friends.

“I go back to District 4 today.” He says softly, watching as the sun slowly peaks over a tall building.

“I’d say I can’t wait for you to visit again but I’d feel bad saying that.” Your comment makes Finnick smile, shaking his head.

“I’ll say it then, I can’t wait to come back and visit you. Even if it means I have to play into Snow’s games, at least I’ll see you at the end of it all.” You lunge at him in that moment, holding him tightly.

“Thank you, for seeing me as a human and letting me know I’m not alone in this awful place. I wish I could help you.” You say it softly as you embrace him, trying not to cry before you finish speaking.

“You don’t have to thank me for being a decent human being, sweetheart.” His hold on you tightens, his heart fluttering in his chest.

After arranging to keep in touch through calls, he kisses your forehead and leaves to go back to his home in District 4. You spend months calling and seeing each other in person when possible, the love between you growing with every conversation and every visit. It was nearly a year now since you’d met Finnick and you could confidently say that you were in love with him. He was unlike anyone you’d ever met before, his charm and humor making it hard to not fall for him. He was so intelligent, so loving despite the horrors he’d witnessed and experienced.

Finnick had known since the first night that he was going to fall in love with you, but he had never expected it to be so deeply. You were a beautiful soul inside and out, he admired your resilience and your strength to stay true to yourself no matter the expectations the Capitol pushed on you. You never failed to amaze him with the way you carried yourself so confidently and how you fought to stay pure hearted amongst the evil that festered within the Capitol. Finnick found himself wishing even more that he could escape the clutches of Snow, to be able to be with you properly and to love you without having to continue to exploit himself for secrets.

It was a visit just like any other when you had confessed to Finnick, your hands fidgety and your face red as you told him how deeply you love every single part of him. He swore he had never felt happier in that moment, but it only lasted as long as he let himself live within the delusion that he could properly be with you.

“I love you with every single part of my being, but this just wouldn’t work. Snow would never let me be with you, he’ll never let me out of his grasp. If I’m tied down then it will be harder for me to gain secrets for him, to get some of these women to sleep with me. I want this, I want us, I really really do. It’s just not possible.” His eyes well with tears as he speaks, his voice wobbly and his hands shaking as he reaches out to hold your own.

“My dad is a high ranking official, he knows all of these people you get secrets from. What if..What if we were able to convince President Snow that you could still gather secrets without having to sleep with these women? You’d be marrying into a high ranking family, you’d have access to these people’s home and their whole lives. I would even help you. I would do anything to be with you Finnick.” You squeeze his hands, trying not to cry as you see a tear streak down his cheek.

“I don’t know, Y/N. Snow isn’t exactly the bargaining type and I don’t want him to hurt you or your family.” He looks at you sadly, his heart breaking into pieces at the thought that he may never escape and get to love you like he wants. A sob escapes your throat, the sound strangled and painful, as you accept that this will never end the way you want.

“I wish we could have met in a different time and place, as different people,” Your voice is strained, another painful noise escaping your throat as you shake with the force of it. “I think I’d fall in love with you in every lifetime, if there are others after this one.”

A sob escapes Finnick’s own throat as he pulls you into his lap, holding you tightly. “I hope there are, Y/N. I hope in at least one we get our happy ending.”

[goddessxeffect]

MAKE PEACE WITH THE EGO AND YOU MAKE PEACE WITH THE PAST

Disclaimer: This post is not entirely written by me, I credited all the sources I remembered but if something seems very familiar, it is probably out of 4dbarbie's asks or from one or two of @iamthat-iam, sorry in advance to the original source.

" The past gives you an identity and the future holds the promise of 'salvation', of fulfillment in whatever form. Both are illusions... As soon as you honor the present moment, all unhappiness and struggle dissolve, and life begins to flow with joy and ease. "- Eckhart Tolle

Now that you know who you really are you are fast to scapegoat the ego for everything. It is in the way of you getting to that blissful state of peace. It understands nothing, it fights you. It is the reason you suffer - or isn't it? First of all, you wanting to be different is a urge coming from ego, not you. You are already that, everything, want nothing. It's not you suffering, it's ego suffering. Secondly, you are missing the mark by far. Ego is perfectly created the way it is. It's conditioned to be that way and behaves acordingly. It's perfect, so let it be. You are choosing to identify with it. You are giving this role importance or rather life. It is again you choosing to give your power away to a dream, an illusion.

Yes, in a different way now but still: you don't have power, you are it. Already. Nothing is standing in your way but yourself or you clinging unto this false sense of self. How can an illusion be an obstacle for its creator? Only "I am" is true and your real self is love, so anything aligned with love is true. Anything aligned with fear is an illusion by the ego that You fall for.

How to get rid of an illusion you might ask then? By knowing it's not real. What do you not understand about you already being realized? By knowing who you are, you know that Ego cannot be you nor "real".

Even if she [Vanesse = ego] wasn't the greatest, what's so wrong with her? She is just somebody, she just lives a life. Things are only so serious when you're identified with her, you get scared, you get hurt, you feel stuck. But when you know that she can't hinder you? That she was never you? Don't you just want to laugh and hug her? @4dbarbie-backup

To understand Ego is to understand time (x)

Time is not experienced. You only ever experience now, the past is imaginary or as some say "a shadow, ghost town, dead", it is not experienced at all. What you experience is (a persons) memories in the present, but you give them life now and just because you identify with the person for whom this all happened this way.

This is also your answer for why you don't have to care for what will happen to a character and its life. You exist now, for example as Vanessa, with all of her memories, which make her up as we already cleared. The next moment, or let's say the next morning, you "wake up" as Lara, with all of her memories. Would you, experiencing only now and identified with Lara, as her, know that Vanessa even existed? I'm kinda quoting 4dbarbie on this.

"The past is dead. What you see is dead. Until you realize your Self, Present will always be past (something you were prior conscious of)" @4dbarbie-backup

What is the ego's reference point? The past, not the present. What is ego essentially? A "bundle" of past experiences (memories), expectations, habits and traits, that developed because of those experiences. The ego only "exists" as its mind, it IS its mind. But the mind is imagined by You (awareness) since in the present moment there cannot be past experiences.

"Now, all ego knows is illusory, because it's the past, it no longer exists. You see life through the past, you aren't really in the now, so really what does ego know? How can ego be helpful in the now if it only operates based on something that does not exist? If you realize all is now, ego becomes useless" @napolonio

Everything is imaginary, nothing is real in the sense you were taught growing up. You have to imagine the past, which makes it not real. A memory coming up is no different than you imagining "yourself" with a million dollars. Both of those things are imaginary and experienced in the now."

Reality, or the "world" Ego experiences, is real because of our (awareness) experience of it. WE make it real. It’s not like the reality the person was born into is the ultimate one true reality. Every reality is real as long as you are conscious of it being so. You have to re-realize that you are reality itself. "Things" or "objects" are dead (have no independent or own beingness) but only become "alive and real" through our occupancy in it, by borrowing our beingness temporaly. That’s why consciousness is the only reality!

On the topic of "Revision". Before realizing all of this I (person) was like “But it won’t be the same because I didn’t actually get to have the experience” but “Hold up; all that exists of the past IS the memory of it! Its not like I’m vividly physically experiencing my memories every moment. I only accept my past as true because I feel like it happened and I’m attached to it. Who’s to say I actually experienced all those things?”

All the memories that the person/ ego has, good or bad, are only kept in place by the love or rather attachment that we are giving to them. And why wouldn’t I love my own deliberate lovingly created memories even more?

[poppitron360]

*Rummages through my fanfiction folders*

*Pulls this dusty artefact out and holds it up to the light*

————————————————————————————————

“WELL AT LEAST YOUR MOM’S IN ELYSIUM!!!”

“…What?” Frank said, after a few seconds of stunned silence.

Leo wiped his eyes with the back of his sleeve.

“I talked to Nico. Your mom. She’s in Elysium because she sacrificed her life to save others. My mom…”

He turned away from Frank, and leaned against the railing of the ship, staring out at the sunset. “It’s not fair,” he said, “She gave up everything so she could raise me. She made so many sacrifices in order to keep me safe. But they were small sacrifices- not big ones. She’s in Asphodel, suffering eternal torment, only half-remembering who she was… who I was…”

Frank remembered the time he had spent in Asphodel during Hazel’s flashback. How the half-formed souls wandered aimlessly, crying out for lives they only partially recalled. Hazel had spent an eternity down there and never found her mom.

“What’s the point? What’s the point in all this,” Leo gestured to the ship around them, “What’s the point in doing any of this if I’m never gonna see her again? Why bother even trying to go to Elysium if I can’t reunite with her? If I can’t make things right?”

Frank wanted to comfort Leo, reassure him, tell him everything was going to be alright, but he couldn’t find the words. His mind was still reeling from the conformation about his own mom. She was in Elysium. He could see her again. But he felt guilty for the thoughts. Leo was suffering.

“Anyway, I’m sorry for lashing out, I just… I guess I envy you. And I’m bitter. And I’m angry.”

He gripped the railing tighter, and Frank thought he saw slight heat waves coming from it.

“You have a right to be angry,” Frank said, “It’s not fair that the gods won’t let you get closure.”

“The Gods…” Leo muttered, and then chuckled, “When are they ever fair? When is life ever fair?”

Frank nodded, “The fates are cruel.”

Leo sighed in agreement.

“But there could be a chance, I mean, you might…” Frank began, but he trailed off when he saw Leo shaking his head.

“I don’t wanna torture myself with the “what if”s and the “if only”s. My mom’s gone, those are the consequences I have to face.”

“But it wasn’t your fault, what happened to her.”

“That’s what Jason keeps telling me.”

“And he’s right.”

Frank moved towards him, exasperated, “Look, Leo. It’s crappy. I can’t even begin to imagine how crappy this is for you. I’d like to tell you that it will get better, but it might not. But you shouldn’t beat yourself up about it, okay?”

Leo looked down, blinking back tears.

“That probably didn’t help,” Frank admitted, “I’m sorry. Jason’s way better at comforting you. I’ll go get him-“

“No, you can stay,” Leo said.

Frank walked back over to the railing and leaned on it next to him.

“Just… when you see your mom in Elysium…” Leo said, “Give ‘er a big Frank bear hug, and don’t let her go, okay? Make the most of the gifts you’ve been given. I mean… at least my mom was there for me when she was alive.”

Frank nodded, “I will. I promise.”

————————————————————————————————

VALZHANG NATION FORM RANKS AND ADVANCE!!!!

@lokiwiiiiiii @lavenderfairiez @yoshuko-ew @keefessketchbook @frankzhang-appreciation-posts

Also, can’t find the post, but this was inspired by someone writing a short fic about Leo’s mom being in asphodel and it sent Valzhang brain going.

Also also, if you want to be tagged in my Valzhang posts lmk- I am forming an army.

JOIN US!!!!

[arielstruggles]

Late Nights, Stolen Kisses

a/n: I'm in the midst of a Javier P brainrot and i can't stop thinking about him. So here is a little drabble. (mostly for myself ) sorry in advance for any possible mistakes. Enjoy!

Pairing: Javi p x reader

warnings: none, pure fluff, no use of y/n.

He works hard, he works too much. He never promised you that he’ll be around all the time and you never once picked up a fight about this. But when he comes back from work late at night and sees you fell asleep on the couch, a book in your hand dangling and food on the table waiting for him he felt like a total dick. He was not a good husband. Not at all. You fixed the table around usual time but he was late, again. Food gone cold, yet still you refused to eat without him. He gives out an exasperated breath. He had no right to put you through to this life but he was too in love with you to let you go, since the day you have met. He crouches down by the couch and grabs the book by your hand, kisses your temple and thinks how pretty you looked. “cariño, wake up.” He murmurs. He was conflicted to wake you up or carry you to bed. A part of him wanted you to wake up because he had a shitty day and needs your comfort but a part of him knows it’s selfish to do so. “Baby, wake up.” He murmurs one more time. He could have woken you up if he raised his voice slightly instead of whispering or he could nudge you but you were like an angel, he couldn’t bear. He lifts you up in his arms and takes you to the bed, puts you carefully under the covers, steals a kiss from you. He sits on the edge of the bed, gets lost in his thoughts, so lost that when you woke up and sneakily crawled towards him and wrapped your arms around his back, he gets startled. “hi there handsome.” You whisper, burrowing your face on his back. “hello hermosa.” He replies, “you were sleeping, didn’t want to wake you up.” “it’s alright, you know you can wake me up. I prepare the table on purpose.” “I know, and it makes me feel like a dick.” You giggle. “Did not mean to.” “I know.” You enjoy each other’s company for a bit. These rare moments with him are your favorites, probably his too. For a split second, you are the only people on this planet. Though he hates to reflect his work issues on you, you know him all too well. “Rough day?” you ask. He simply nods. “Go get changed baby, I’ll wait for you to sleep.” You assure. Though he is reluctant to leave your arms he obeys your request. He quickly changes and slides under the covers right next to you, takes you in his arms. It’s a silent assurance, he promises you that whatever happens, he will be sleeping next to you at the end of the day. “Javi?” “Yeah?” “Can you tell me a bedtime story.” “How old are you again? 3?” he mocks, you laugh. Gives you a quick kiss on the lips when you get comfortable in his arms and rest your head on his chest then he starts to tell you a stupid, made up tale. You know he never refuses your requests. You fall asleep in each other’s arms.

[lifeiskentastic]

Ken flirts (albeit not very successfully) with a officer gn!Reader

Gif by jokerous

A/n: I want to say in advance that if I don't respond to your replies, it's only because this is my side blog and I still haven't figured out how to make it the main blog ;( and English is still my second language so be sure to let me know about my mistakes!

Summary: Ken shows up at the police station again, but this time he has a much more complicated reason for being there;

Song I recommended: Santa Monica by Everclear (although it's not really suitable for fanfic, the song and lyrics were just made for Ken);

Word count: 1,107 words;

Hope you like it!

You've interrogated all sorts of weirdos during your long career as a police investigator. But such a case was certainly the first of its kind. And probably the only one. In front of you sat a not at all embarrassed man in the uniform of a horse rider, that is, in a ridiculous oval hat, a black suit, only horse was. What was the main problem. After all, walking in such clothes in public places and even without a horse is not to everyone's liking. In addition, if it is stolen. Although most of the townspeople have already managed to get used to it since this same man and his companion appeared here for the first time. However, this case was different, as today he came alone. That's why they didn't let him home right away, but sent you to deal with it.

"So Mr. Ken…" You looked at the man who wasn't the least bit concerned about being in the police station, not knowing what you were going to do with him.

"Oh yeah, it's me."

"Um, why did you steal that suit?" You mentally slapped yourself on the forehead for asking such a stupid and obvious question. It's like asking a criminal why he committed a crime... Damn.

Ken was smiling brightly, only making you despair even more. "You see, I just don't have anything to pay yet… But I'll pay it all back very soon! Yes…" But you wouldn't tell that from his unsure and guilty face.

"I'm sorry, mister, but in our town promises aren't enough." For some reason it was difficult for you to say this. Maybe you just couldn't resist the person's naive sincerity in front of you.

"Okay, I'll give you one last warning in hopes that I won't find you in a stolen suit in the middle of a police station again, okay?" Ken shook his head.

"Well, officer, I promise, it won't happen again!"

"Eh, I hope so…"

To tell the truth, this was not the first such "last" warning, but... But sometimes it is worth making exceptions to the rules and protocols for the sake of a good cause.

"Um, officer?" You were about to walk out of the interrogation room and just pretend you didn't see the criminal leaving the police station without punishment. But Ken stopped you with his strangely needy look. "Actually, I just wanted to meet you again."

You were once again surprised by the frankness of this man. And ignorance.

"You could just walk in here, you don't have to commit a robbery."

"Oh."

For a moment you stared into each other's eyes in inexplicable silence until you remembered in time that Ken was a little out of this world. But you didn't know yet whether in a physical or mental sense.

Ken's expression lost its former fervor for a moment, causing you to feel a sharp pang of guilt. So you decided to somehow cheer him up.

"Anyway, I'm very flattered that you went through such troubles for me." You pointed out Ken's appearance, and he immediately melted with pride. "Good job."

You chuckled amicably, but immediately after that you suddenly remembered that you were still wearing your police badge and had some responsibilities, so you improved to add:

"But anyway, don't do that again!"

"Haha, not going to anymore, don't worry officer."

And silence reigned again, although this time it was filled with your mutual smiles. Incredible, but even criminals can be cute.

Ken began to glare at you, to which you could only respond with confusion. This careful look confused you a little, so you decided to find out the reason for it directly.

"Is something wrong Ken?" Ken squinted and something in his sly expression seemed to warn you of danger...

"You are beautiful."

You blinked, slightly not expecting such an answer to the question about feelings.

"Um, thanks… You're in good shape too." Ken assumed a very strange pose that you could describe as flirtatious if he wasn't the weird stranger. After all, how could he flirt with you? It seemed as if the roles of the policeman and the culprit were somehow unfairly reversed between you...

Ken folded his arms on the table, looking at you with all possible attention. Because of which you imperceptibly shuddered. A very strange feeling welled up as you stared into those crystal blue eyes in return. And Ken's smile might seem innocent and naive, but as an experienced police officer you couldn't afford to be fooled by that…

Your palms also rested safely on the table, and the undisguised slyness with which Ken was looking at them could not be ignored... After that, Ken lightly touched his soft fingers to yours, as if by accident, but you could definitely tell from his satisfied face that this was exactly what he intended. But you have not removed your hands in any way. Even if these touches did not seem only friendly.

Ken's whole look (minus the costume ) was like... Head over heels in love? You tried to drive away these insolent thoughts, but the affectionate look fixed on you as if he was completely devoted only to you, the barely noticeable movements of his fingers on your palms and the atmosphere of privacy created by him did not give you peace. And when did everything get so fast?

"You know, I've always wanted to try on an officer's uniform, although I'm pretty sure it looks better on you."

Well, even if it was a sincere and deliberate flirtation, it was so incredibly unfussy and simple that it couldn't help but be touching. If everyone in Ken's world is so nice and unassuming, then this place is clearly Heaven.

"Hmm, thanks again and… And I'm also pretty sure that the uniform will fit you."

You didn't know what Ken was playing, but you decided to keep up with him. It seems that a real battle was brewing here...

"Are you busy tonight?"

It confused you a little. Somehow unexpectedly, too sharply and in general, such purely friendly invitations are not made with such a flirtatious tone!..

"No. Not at all. Do you want to meet?..."

But your tongue had already given away all your innermost thoughts before you had time to really think them through.

Ken looked as if he had already expected a refusal, but when he heard the unequivocal agreement... Well, sparks flew from him. Literally. However, you were sure that this only seemed to you.

"So, at the beach today?"

"I will wait for you!"

[jadecantcreate]

curse of strahdanya has officially taken over my brain! alongside arcane…season two is SO GOOD SO FARR please go watch it if you haven’t. holy shit yall it does not disappoint

spoilers for up to and the entirety of episode 7 of cos — ill mainly be talking about character dynamics (mostly shepnax) but major events and plot developments will be explicitly discussed as well, so, if you’re not there yet, please don’t keep reading (getting spoilered for this stuff is not worth it i promise)

im sorry in advance. im not even done writing everything yet and its already very long

the way i see it, episode 7 is a major turning point for not only the whole story but inter-party relationships as well. i’ll be organizing this a little bit so it’s less text-wall-y (hopefully)

shepherd

there’s the raven mother they find nailed to the wall — the culprit being strahdanya. this definitely fueled the hate that all of the party had for her, but especially shepherd. he literally screams out in anguish and, later, calls strahdanya a coward and bitch — something we’ve never seen shepherd do before.* i think the events in the beginning of ep 7 is what really cemented his and the party’s objective: destroy strahdanya. before, i sensed some kind of ‘wiggle room’: the party would be willing to work with her a bit, though only for a very short amount of time and would probably backstab her. but after witnessing all that? strahdanya is irredeemably evil, not worthy of consideration / sympathy / courtesy, and i think it finally fully dawned on them all

*i also love how much raw emotion shepherd expresses throughout the campaign. the rest of the party has their moments too (i can immediately think of kana and victoria, but im not remembering any significant ones for clayton or sarnax though i know they exist), but shepherd consistently reacts to the hellhole that is barovia in such a genuine way that it grounds the whole narrative and, to me, makes barovia that much more horrifying. in other stories or discussions of stories ive seen like this (and even in the cos party itself), the characters are largely untouched by the horrors that occur in such a setting. which, fit the characters/purpose as it might, distances the audience at least a tiny bit from the happenings of the narrative. but when you have an otherwise grounded, calm, capable individual like shepherd crack? that’s when it really hits you i think. like, the whole thing with sarnax reviving the mother? shepherd being so relieved and overcome with a multitude of feelings that his voice cracks as he holds back tears, begging the mother to rest and not do any work? it made me feel the same way, and it really drove home how wonderful this act is and how dire their situation is. shepherd (and andy by extension!) have drawn the most emotion out of me in my watch, and its possibly the main reason i enjoy his character so much

him being seemingly chosen by the silver dragon (which, again, another turning point) is very compelling in a narrative sense too because shepherd doesnt want power, he doesn’t seem to even like the idea of leading (or at least being pushed into a position of leadership). i’ll touch on it later in the shepherd and sarnax segment (if i dont forget lol, my mind is running wild while i write this)

victoria

i think strahd’s infatuation with her and the physical effects it has (kana’s cleansing ritual failing because the water becomes blood as it touches victoria) is so interesting, especially her inner conflict with her heritage and wickedness (and the distrust it sows between her and the party, at least initially)

i really enjoyed how victoria was vulnerable with kana, and how kana handled it with such care and compassion. this is also a turning point, i think, when it comes their relationship: kana promises to protect victoria, and victoria promises to fight the darkness within her; they definitely got closer after that, and their bond was deepened. i dont imagine strahd would be very happy about victoria not being enamored by her and being helped by her party, though it’s very possible that she enjoys ‘the chase’ (for the lack of a better term)

when they came across the dusk elf in the order of the silver dragon estate-thing, it’s a pretty clear parallel to victoria given her appearance, heritage, and reason for being in barovia. i could be very very wrong about this but its heavily implied victoria’s elf half is a dusk elf, which makes sense considering, again, that she’s in barovia to learn about her lineage and that dusk elves are the only elves mentioned so far. i think this is the first time she’s genuinely made progress in her goal

sarnax

sarnax’s identity revolves around gherix: his whole life is devoted to the fire lord; he’s used to communing with and praying to his god. it’s likely what kept him going in such a terrible place with such terrible odds of survival, let alone returning (which he’s convinced he will not). so when strahdanya intercepted the augury spell he was so clearly shaken. it was one of the few moments, if not the only one, where sarnax was in genuine, utter panic — the whole time shepherd repeatedly asked him if he was alright and he didn’t seem to hear those words at all. suddenly he learned that strahdanya could damage or possibly sever his connection to his god, the being his life is centered around. (kana’s comment certainly didn’t help)

but what happens after — the augury spell reading ‘weal’ and sarnax being able to revive the mother — strengthens his faith. it was tested, but he prevailed. i think he was also filled with a newfound sense of purpose, knowing that, no matter what strahd does, his god considers him worthy enough

about him and kana: episode 7 is the culmination of their slow development towards not only tolerating each other’s beliefs but to understand and embrace them, specifically with kana saying that she trusts in sarnax and his god

sarnax and shepherd

the conversation between them was my favorite moment in this episode by far. there are so many layers,

shepherd so clearly doesnt want to embody his namesake and be a leader, but the silver dragon and someone he trusts so much — sarnax — and fate itself push him in that direction, so he just does. shepherd says:

“sarnax don’t”

“no why would you-“

“why- why- why would you put this on me, why?”

“how can you say that?”

“this was just a job. i mean this was just to make sure we all got here and back safely…how did this happen?”

then, later…

“alright, alright i…okay. i…dont know what to say”

“alright…alright…okay, understood”

“sure, sure. lead the way” and, after sarnax says “no, shepherd. you lead the way, i will light the path,” “…fine.”

essentially, he sucks it up. and that’s interesting to me since shepherd shows so much emotion, so it’s clearly not a ‘men dont cry’-type ideology thing. i think it’s probably related to his desire to do good, and as well as the good doc. after all, the doc gave him his virtue name: shepherd. it only makes sense that he would be written by fate as one: a person who guides the lost through the darkness. so that’s my guess as to why he so readily accepts this burden

i think sarnax being the one to say this also played a role in it^. shepherd witnessed firsthand the power of gherix and sarnax’s wisdom, so much so that he prayed to gherix. shepherd, who was originally averse to anything religious, prayed. and i also think sarnax is shepherd’s only true friend in the party. his relationship with clayton, victoria, and kana feels like professional acquaintances — they’re comfortable with each other and certainly growing closer, but he seeks out sarnax (and sarnax does too) and both have called the other a friend or good friend, on more than one occasion for shepherd and at least one for sarnax. it’s obvious that shepherd values what sarnax has to say and cares for him.

because of that, sarnax saying that he will die in barovia (specifically that he doesn’t “believe [he has] a place back in avantris” and that “whatever it is that [they] achieve here will be [his] end” because he has “seen it in the flames”) and shepherd’s reaction hits even harder for me.

shepherd says “i’m not gonna leave you. i’m not gonna leave anyone.”

and sarnax replies “then it will be i that leaves you.”

it’s the shortest exchange, but it holds so much weight. sarnax has accepted his fate, possibly long before this. but when before sarnax took charge and led the group, shining his light, he steps back, realizing shepherd is the one who (he thinks) fits that role. he still guides, but he doesn’t lead, and he believes shepherd should. but shepherd doesn’t. shepherd’s used to following orders, as we see so many times with him and clayton (but also him and sarnax), and struggles to make decisions for the group — when they ask him where they should go, shepherd seemingly blanks and he just picks whatever as fast as he can (to get the pressure off him, i assume). and despite this, shepherd’s line reinforces what sarnax thinks: a good shepherd doesn’t leave his sheep behind, he goes after and, well, shepherds them.

and honestly the whole relationship between shepherd and sarnax. them being regarded as monsters by others, being dehumanized by, for example, vascha [?] thinking shepherd is a devil and esmeralda calling sarnax shepherd’s pet ->

shepherd answers, understably upset, “he’s not my pet, he’s a person!” i figured sarnax felt the same way, but when he was praying to gherix, he referred to shepherd as “a vessel for [gherix’s] wrath.” so that raised a question to me: does sarnax truly care for shepherd (in the way shepherd does), or does he view him as a tool? it’s interesting to think about. it could be him truly caring about shepherd and seeing him as a capable person who will have a great role in his god’s plans which, i imagine, is among the highest of honors — the first possibility in the question, but filtered through the lens of sarnax’s religious perspective (which i think is the most likely and most compelling)

and there’s the parallel with them being connected to gold and silver dragons: different, but the same. (unrelated tangent but there’s also a very interesting parallel between shepherd being chosen by the silver dragon [‘good’] and victoria being chosen by strahdanya [‘bad’])

sarnax saying “silver will unite with gold” is, on the surface, about the two dragon-gods involved in the story. but i think, on a deeper and probably unintended level, it also applies to shepherd and sarnax growing closer (as they have been since the prologue, following in the footsteps of their respective dragons, and shepherd connecting the two dragons by his faith in gherix and affinity to the silver dragon.

i think that’s everything! hopefully i wont post this and immediately remember something i didn’t mention

thank you for reading all of this <33

[lovethetasteofnothing]

Hi I seen ur requests are open so I wondering if you could possibly write sugar mommy hcs for Farah and/or valeria plz!😋

this is so good I just had to do it asap. i need drabbles for this too

Sugar mommy dynamics (HCs) - Valeria, Farah, Laswell

includes: kate laswell, farah karim, valeria garza (this is for the gay girls)

fem!reader, female anatomy, fem terms of endearment

warnings: nsfw content, dirty talk, spanking, use of straps/toys, fingering, degradation, consumption of alcohol,

word count: 1.8k, aprox. 600 words/ character

Valeria Garza (smut + fluff)

sugar mommy supreme

this woman is richer than god and her love language is gift giving

i don't see a better combo for a sugar baby

and she's a busy woman, she doesn't have time for relationships so this is right up her alley

i feel like it happened a little more or less by chance

like she was just talking about it one day to one of her men or he overheard her

and he subtly mentioned you because you were actively looking for a sugar mommy

neither of you knew what to expect at first, but after meeting her...

you went home and masturbated to a scenario about her

you were both on board with it being sexual from the get go so that worked out

makes you update a wishlist regularly and buys everything you put on it

sometimes you'd put an item there at night and wake up with the package at your door the next day

her card? black like her soul

and she just handed it to you one day like?

made you do a little runway show with all of the stuff you got with it

goes shopping with you to de-stress

she likes it more than you do, like this woman is making you try everything in the store if she wants to

makes you twirl so she can see the full outfit before smirking and nodding approvingly

holds the clothes for you while you're inside the store so you can browse easily

her guard carries the bags afterwards

this woman buys you designer on the regular

even though she doesn't wear it herself because it gets ruined on the job, she loves it on you

she took you to a fancy dinner with her business partners once

put you in a dress that costs more than your whole apartment (and a set of really nice lingerie underneath)

she made you cum all over the expensive fabric, squirming while she fingered you in the backseat of her car

"you're being so filthy, muñequita. por Dios, you even ruined your dress"

spanked you for being so "inconsiderate" even though it was her fault that you had a pool of cum dripping down your thighs

talking about spanking, she definitely spanks you with designer belts

like this woman does not care how much it costs

that piece of leather can pay off your rent for months

she'd probably pay off your student loans/ pay in advance for your rent and utilities

gives you a weekly allowance, sometimes buys you extra stuff if you've been good

her favorite thing to buy for you? lingerie and sex toys

makes you send her videos of you wearing them/using them on yourself

talking about texting, I think she'd leave you be most of the time since she's so busy

also enjoys the fact that you're a bare minimum engagement type of deal

she's just happy someone isn't pestering her 24/7, while she gets the advantages of making a girl squirt happy

she's constantly traveling and you don't see her for weeks sometimes

you asked her what she does because you got curious

"don't worry your pretty little head with useless details, cariño"

but she expects you to show up when she tells you to

on time, god forbid you're late

she had to wait for five minutes, you had to listen to her complain for hours

while her favorite strap stretched you out so good

makes you apologize and beg for forgiveness, promise you won't be late again

while bullying her strap into your already sensitive pussy, crying from the overstimulation as you whimper out promises and pathetic 'sorrys'

Farah Karim (fluff, i love Farah fluff okay?)

you still don't understand how it happened

like one day she was the cute regular customer at the coffee shop you worked at

and the next she was taking care of your rent and restocking your fridge

she just wanted to help you out since she had more than enough for herself

you didn't expect her to be that rich? because when she was a customer she was always dressed normal

don't get me wrong, she looked bomb, but she never gave off that 'i'm rich, look at me' energy

and she still doesn't, literally buys you the cutest stuff out of the kindness of her heart

keeps it casual, doesn't expect you to pay her back in any way

she can't help but smile when you kiss her cheek as a thank you after she hands you your allowance

doesn't want to pressure you into anything, she just likes the idea of taking care of someone

doordashes groceries for you because she knows you're too lazy to do them yourself

checks up on you every once in a while, mostly asks you to come over to keep her company and just chat

but you were renovating your apartament for a few days and you decided to stay with her

made sure you were nice and comfortable in the guest room and got everything you needed

also made sure to leave a few little gifts on your bed on your first day

got you some books and your favorite treats to keep you company while she's gone to work

and you realized you actually liked spending time with her and that her attention made you happy

so when she got home from work, two days before you were meant to leave you decided to speed things up a little

so surprised when you straddled her lap while she was talking

she thought you felt pressured to do it

she tried to start one of her monologues before you stopped her

you got so bold??? like just telling her you like her and it's not because she practically is your main source of income but because she's so nice as a person

baby got so touched she had to go smoke a cig to calm down

and now she's your girlfriend and sugar mommy

weekly dates (as long as she's not gone with work, makes up for it when she's back tho) to your favorite restaurants/locations in general

hates physical shopping but will power through for you

grabs whatever she thinks you'd look cute in and makes you try it

you got so so flustered when she gave you a revealing outfit to try on

she had already bought it in her head before you even tried it on

also loves to spoil you with little things

like getting you gorgeous flowers every week, making sure they're replaced before they wilt

ordering your favorite food for you when she works long nights

buying you the nicest skincare/makeup because she sees how your face lights up from it

i feel like she'd always bring a trinket home (uhaul lesbian things)

something that melts your heart too because she really pays attention to everything you say

like getting a box of pastries from that really luxurious bakery that's close to her office

buying you a new pair of sneakers because they match the outfit she got you last week

literally bought you a stunning outfit for your one year anniversary

dress, heels, jewelery everything designer because fuck it she loves spoiling you rotten

money comes on her card and leaves it, but you're a forever type of investment

Kate Laswell (fluff + smut)

canon mommy

also a sugar baby's dream

she paid for your drink (TF 141 went wild when they saw her)

so she pulled you to the side and paid for the rest of your consumption too and for your taxi back home

a bit sad when you told her you weren't looking for a relationship

so she did what's best and spoke to your capitalism rotten brain and asked to be your sugar mommy

you had shit to pay off okay? and she was hot and spoke to your mommy issues...

takes it slow until she doesn't anymore (with consent ofc!)

when she asked you to hang out at her place and drink some wine, you didn't think anything of it

that was until you were bent over the couch, hands pinned down as she scissored your pussy open

made a little bet with you, every minute you could last without having an orgasm, she'd give you your allowance's worth in cold hard cash

you were cocky until she stuck that fucking vibrator inside of you

she pushed it in so deep and made sure it was hitting that sweet spot that made your whole body weak

didn't even need to wait too long before you squirted on her expensive couch

you didn't get a lot of money that night....

and you lost some of your dignity too

made sure to send over a bouquet of flowers to your workplace to remind you of how expensive house cleaning got these days

so fucking cocky and flirty when she feels like it

but also a sweetheart

would regularly ask you if you were doing well and eating properly

has food delivered to your door everyday so she knows you have a balanced diet

makes you take so many days off from work until you just decide to quit

she's way too happy knowing that you're now so much more available for her use

entertains the idea of being your only source of income for a bit

"you can just relax, take it easy. i'll take care of things for you"

busy woman no. 2

but she'd never forget to take you out on a fancy date somewhere really expensive to remind you how nice she treats you

made sure you had everything you'd ever need and then fed into your little whims and fantasies

doesn't have enough time to spare for you to show her what you got but she'd be happy inside knowing you were entertained and pleased

offers to send you on your dream vacation since she can't go

you beg her for so long until she finds a way to take a short break and enjoy her time with you there

this woman is literally working in the hotel while you go out shopping

you give her a nice massage after she finishes most of it because she deserves it <3

gets room service the next day for the both of you and spends the rest of the day cuddling you and visiting places

she definitely didn't develop feelings and neither did you, no not at all

she's upfront about it because really, what's the point?

she's too old to play the whole 'chase' thing

so while you're enjoying the jacuzzi in your room and sipping on some wine, she decides that's the best moment

you nearly choke on the wine

but she looks so...<3 and you know she'd treat you so well...

[hollirae2]

TSAMS THEORY RANT

Ok it’s 430 am rn and I had a thought process that probably won’t make much sense. Sorry in advance for the many many many words.

Ok so Atlas. We don’t know much about them. With everything they have and know, it makes me think they’ve been around a very long time. Probably has an unnaturally long life and based on what we’ve seen of their house, knows alot of different types of magic. It makes me wonder if they know some type of necromancy magic. Like they’re very secluded where they live, so they probably don’t get to close or attached to many people as much. Makes me wonder if maybe they had someone before Sun that died and they couldn’t bring them back so learned necromancy and other various magic types to make sure that would never happen again. Atlas is probably a very powerful mage that we haven’t seen yet because the story hasn’t brought that up yet or whatever reason.

We also know Sun is the only family member that hasn’t died. Like got an upgraded body, yes, but never died like everyone in his family has other than Jack and molten (yes im counting them as well). Atlas and Sun clearly have a close relationship that has built up over time off screen. Atlas probably never thought they would get close to someone again, then they found Sun. Im sure (and we’re all dreading it) that one of these days, Sun will join in the family death count and die in some way. Whether it’s by an enemy we’ve met already, a future one that may get introduced, or maybe something from Atlas’ past will kill Sun (either on accident or on purpose). It makes me wonder if Atlas does have that magic but doesn’t use it because of it being dangerous or something like that but seeing the one person they care for after so long of not getting close to people. I wonder if they’ll bring him back. Revive him. Use the magic, they studied to bring the one person they let get close after swearing not to do that again. And also imagine the reactions the celestial family will have. Whether they see him die, or seeing atlas bring suns corpse back before being able to revive him or even afterward, where atlas revives them then brings sun back home, both of them so drained and hurt from whatever happened.

Like maybe Atlas using that magic cause sun to have some differences to him. Like physical stuff such as looking paler, or having some physical disability. Maybe even mental stuff, like getting phantom pains or having really bad flashbacks and dreams from what killed him. Like would sun run away again, fearing he would put his family in danger. When he was having the nexus flashback, he unknowingly used his magic and almost hurt moon. When moon mentioned it, saying they’re lucky dazzle didn’t find them first, sun sounded so scared. Scared of the possibility that the magic he picked up to be able to protect his family, ends up hurting them. Like Sun already feels like a terrible brother for everything that ended up happening to nexus. He’d probably think he broke his promise with earth. Thinks he’s a danger to the people he cares about. Probably thinks he could hurt them like lunar hurt earth.

LIKE BRO I NEED MORE LORE ON ATLAS PLZ I NEED NORE SCREEN TIME WITH THEN AND SUN

thanks for reading the rant if you got this far lmao

[pascalscoffin]

L'informateur

-The informant-

Warning: Minors Go Away I Will Kick You In The Forehead. Smut: oral (f receiving); unprotected p in v sex (participate at your own risk, heathens); light choking; His dirty talk is in Spanish cause hot damn; reader calls Javi papi; “biting”. Based after season 3. The DEA goes to France. Reader is French but no real descriptions of what she looks like (she is carried by Javi at one point so do with that what you will). Reader is trilingual. (English, French, and Spanish). I only speak English so yes I’m using translators but I promise I’m like triple checking this shit. Might become a whole series but that depends. Reader used to live in Colombia. Reader is a burlesque show girl. We got Steve here to torment Javi.  One use of y/n. Everything will be translated in the paragraph. Pink will be the reader’s translations and purple will be Javi’s. Javi knows a little French. Javi’s so soft on Reader.

Word count: it’s so long idk but this is your warning.

I’m so sorry to anyone that already read this if they went looking for it again

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In hindsight… moving to Colombia for a boy you’d just met was definitely a bad idea. Of course, you loved your time in Colombian, you met interesting people and attended fun parties. Then again… they were Pablo Escobar’s parties and you were less of a guest and more of accessory for men to gawk at and grab on when they were bored.

That was how you met Javier Peña, of course, not through one of these parties, as if a DEA agent could attend a drug traffickers party and not crash it, not that you blamed them or cared much. You could admit you were a bit materialistic, you were showered in gifts and taken to lavish parties with high-end drugs and expensive alcohol and you were soaking that shit in like sunlight, so who were you to judge?

Now, Javier Peña… he was one hell of a DEA agent. You’d seen him in action a couple times when you were in Colombia and you could understand why, despite his escapades with his informants that all seemed to be female, and usually hookers. Javier got his information however he could get it.

Not that it ever took you much convincing, you were hooked the second you laid eyes on him in that Smokey bar. In Colombia, you sang songs at whatever little bar would let you after you swore it was free. You just wanted to sing. Of course, Javier knew you’d be there, he knew who you were and who your “boyfriend” was, you weren’t sure he was ever really your boyfriend.. more like a carrier.

He had you hooked the second he opened his mouth. You were in his bed that night, chanting his name with a litany of French curses blending with his Spanish ones. After that you eavesdropped whenever you could, gave Javier as much information as you could. You gave Javi everything he wanted when he wanted it.

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You trip back home to France had been incredibly impromptu, your “boyfriend” Hector had started to get paranoid that you were talking behind his back, going to police. Which was completely true and you panicked and rushed back home. You sent Javier a letter about two weeks explaining why you disappeared and that you were sorry for skipping out on your deal, but that your safety came first and France was where you would be safe.

When you heard about Pablo Escobar you were relieved for Javi, knowing he’d been struggling when you left Colombia you couldn’t imagine how much worse it must’ve gotten for him. He never talked about it to you, but considering it was your job to be nosey for him (that’s what all the money and orgasms were for, after all) you knew what happened between them, what Javier no doubt had been forced to see. You were glad he didn’t have to see it anymore… for the time being, anyway.

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When you found out there was a new drug circulating around, some kind of advanced form of ecstasy called 3X-5(street name Threx), which was probably the most childish name for a drug in your opinion. Who names a drug so it spells sex when it’s rearranged properly? You just knew that soon he would be here.. you’d see him again and you need to have information for him when he got here. 

It turns out, you like the extravagant life a little too much and when you got back to France and met Pierre, who promised you a life of luxury as long as you came to sing and dance at his lounge, claiming he’d seen you in Colombia and just had to have you, you figured he was at one of Pablo’s parties and just never got around to interacting with you.

Pierre was the fancy kind of gangster, the old fashioned kind that wore fancy suits and made sure his workers were treated fairly. At least, it seemed that way on the outside, Pierre had a nickname amongst his workers, whispered only once he’s out of the building for fear he might hear. 

le croque-mitaine. The boogeyman

He was ruthless if you made him unhappy, there’s a story that he killed a guy just for putting the wrong amount of ice cubes in his drink. He likes four. No more, no less. You weren’t sure how true it was, but everyone knew how many ice cubes he liked and no one was going to fuck it up.

It makes sense Pierre would name it that, you could barely breathe around him without him making some kind of remark or grabbing you somewhere. He wasn’t a bad looking guy but his cocky “I’m gods gift to earth” attitude (in the worst way) made him absolutely hideous.

Thankfully, Pierre was often at meetings during the night, preferring to hide away in the dark to do his dirty deeds. So most nights you got peace from him and could just enjoy your fancy make up and flowey outfits. 

That was when you finally saw him. For the first time in almost 5 years. Javier Peña. You could tell that face from any distance. That prominent nose, dark eyebrows that raised up when he saw you, that god-forsaken mustache you loved so much, and then of course the way he stood, knee popped out with his hands on his hips before he was sitting down. 

You guessed that was his partner Steve beside him. You’d never really met Steve, Javier kept you separated from the DEA as much as he could, not wanting to risk you being seen with them and then wind up in a hole somewhere, you’d teased him at the time that he must like you, to which he’d grunted, put his cigarette out, and then he was on you and devouring you like some kind of starved animal.

God, you wanted him to do it again.

Javi was sitting in the smoking section of the lounge and it didn’t take long for him to take up that offer, sliding a cigarette from his pack and watching you as he lit it, his lips moved and his hand waved but it was obvious he was talking to Steve, regardless of how much he was staring at you.

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After your performance was over you gave a final spin and bow as you made your way to the backstage curtain, kissing your hand and blowing the kiss towards the audience as your left leg popped up, and then you were back behind the curtain, the sound of men hollering for your return and praising your performance making your skin hum.

You went to the dressing area fast, straightening out your hair and then adding a little silk bra underneath the pink tie top you had on. Once you tied the two pieces of fabric together you double checked your make up, just because you just sang four songs in a row with four outfit changes doesn’t mean it has to look that way. 

As you made your way to Javi, finding him pretty quickly with the way that deep voice of his carried through the room, a smile started to stretch on your features, when Javi finally saw you he got his own cocky grin and put his cigarette out as he stood to greet you.

“Ay, papi! Te he extrañado!” I’ve missed you! You exclaimed. “Mi Tesoro, how have you been?” My treasure Javier purred wrapping you in a hug in those big warm arms you missed. Jesus Christ down, kitty! Down! “Oh, I’m well.” “I can see that, look at this outfit mi tesoro.” Javier held one of your hands up so you could do a little spin in your outfit. Oh he was going to get a kick out of France. Your outfit was a sheer pink set with white flowers, accessorized with a silk bra and high waisted panties that lined up with the skirt perfectly, and finally a simple pair of baby pink kitten heels with white feather balls to match the pale pink of the feathers on the hems of your skirt and sleeves. 

“Thank you, thank you.” You laughed softly and looked over when Steve cleared his throat. “Preciosa, this is my partner Steve. Steve this is y/n. She’s gonna help us out a little bit. Isn’t that right, Preciosa?” God with the terms of endearment. You wanted to suck that stupid fucking smile off his face so bad. Precious

You smiled and nodded. “Of course, papi.” You looked around a bit. “Though- we’re in France now, Mon loup. You’re going to have to brush up on your French if you plan to get anywhere.” My wolf You hummed. “We don’t exactly.. mm what’s the word in English?” You snapped a few times before waving your hand with a grumble. “We don’t amorcer un puits spew Spanish here. Or even much English. I’m surpris they sent you here, en fait.” actually

You looked at Steve when you heard him chuckle and raised a brow at him. “What?” Javier glared at Murphy and you laughed a little. “Now I have to know.” You looked at Steve again. “Well- after Colombia, son of a bitch swore he’d go back to Laredo and lay low, join the sheriff’s department. Then we hear about uh… what’s it called?” “3X-5.” “Exactly. Anyway. We hear about it, it’s startin' to make its way to the states, when he found out it was here he practically begged ‘em to let us come.” “I did not.” “Seemed like beggin’ to me.”

You looked at Javi and laughed softly. “C’est bon, papi. I’ve missed you very, very much.” It’s okay You patted his shoulder as you sighed, smiling at a waitress when she brought you a water. “Merci.” You said softly before turning back to Javi and Steve, who were looking at you expectantly.

“Okay… I don’t have much for you yet. I know whose idea it was, I just… haven’t managed to get all the way in the door, yet.” You sighed. “French men are a lot more careful about what they say around women. But, Pierre is starting to trust me more.” Javi hummed. “Pierre Chevalier.” You nodded.

“So- how long exactly before you… get in the door?” Steve was leaning forward on his elbows and it had you laughing a bit. “Garçon boy this one is all Travail work, no jouer play.” You pouted a bit before sighing. “It won’t be long. Pierre is a lonely, desperate, and tired man. He’ll slip up soon enough.” “You’ll call me first.” “Of course, Javi.” You looked at him with a smile. 

“Now-“ you glanced towards the door when you saw Pierre stepping in and no doubt trying to find you. “You boys should go because unfortunately I can’t keep you company anymore.” Javi’s eyes followed yours and he hummed before the three of you were standing.

“I’ll see you later, Preciosa.” You hummed, kissing Javi’s cheek as he kissed yours. “Of course, Mon Loup. Now go.” You waved them away before making your way over to Pierre, who greeted you by taking your hand, kissing your knuckles, and then pulling you close to plant one on your lips. Javi watching with a small glare before he walked out with Steve. 

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Pierre wanted what he usually wanted: a private show with a happy ending massage afterwards. Massages had been one of your specialities for the men of Colombia, and Javier particularly enjoyed them after a long stressful day. You wondered if he missed receiving them as much as you missed giving them.

Pierre had his moments where you guessed he could be charming, fancy dinners where you could get what you wanted. But it didn’t matter how charming he was, it didn’t hide his ruthlessness. Almost everyone in Marseille was terrified of him, and if you weren’t terrified you despised him. Either way, there was a chance that somehow you were working for him. You fell in the despise category.

Your walk home was quiet, show outfit switched for jeans, a turtle neck, and a trench coat with some boots. You were mostly safe with people knowing you came from Pierre’s place, and unless you had permission you didn’t fuck with Pierre’s girls. You were one lucky enough to get your own place, it took a lot of convincing and even a tantrum or two but he agreed.

When you walked in you thought maybe the smell of cigarettes smoke was in your head, perhaps egged on by Javier showing up. But then you turned the light on and saw him sitting there in the stiff, uncomfortable chair in your corner. You jumped ten feet in the air and screamed. 

“oh mon Dieu! tu m'as fait peur, Javier !” You put a hand to your chest and glared at him as he chuckled and stood up. “What are you doing here?” You hung your keys and purse up. “I figured by now you’d be sleeping off that plane ride.” Oh my god! You scared me, Javier!

You looked over to see him standing directly in front of you now, running his eyes over you. “I tried.” He hummed softly. “Mm.. well I would ask how you knew where I lived but,” You put a hand on your hip. “You’re DEA, so I don’t really have to ask, do I?”

Javier smirked and reached his hands out, gripping your hips tightly and pulling you close. “Mm… tu m'as vraiment manqué, précieux.” He whispered, pressing his forehead against yours. I really missed you, precious

Hearing Javi speak French, and good French at that, had you coming apart at the seams. “Javi..” you whined softly, and then he was lifting you up and pressing you against the wall, molding his mouth with yours harshly as you moaned, wrapping your arms around his neck loosely and sliding your fingers into his hair. God, you missed this.

His lips were soft like they were back in Colombia, though rather than smelling like a mixture of sweat, his cigarettes, and his cologne, which by all means was never a bad smell, in fact you loved it. But the smell of France smelled very good on his skin, you could still smell his cigarettes, his cologne, a hint of whiskey and the lightest scent of sweat. But he smelled cleaner here.

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After quick mumbles of where your bedroom was Javi pulled you away from the wall and wrapped your legs around his waist as he followed your directions, mumbling praises you couldn’t really care much about at the moment about your different decor around your apartment.

As he walked pieces of clothes fell behind him, first your coat, and then his shirt, his badge and gun likely placed on your coffee table since you couldn’t feel either of them poking you on his belt. By the time he tossed you down onto your bed you were in your bra and panties and Javier was in his boxers, clothes making a trail from the front door to your room.

He just looked at you, though, knelt on the foot of your bed as he gazed down at you, hand rubbing your propped up knee. “Estás absolutamente preciosa con esta luz. Como un tesoro codiciado con el que puedo hacer lo que quiera.” He groaned before leaning down and pressing his lips tightly against yours again. You look absolutely gorgeous in this light. Like a coveted treasure that I can do whatever I want with.

Javi was always a little mouthy with you if he was having a decent enough day. There were times where he’d be silent aside from his moans and grunts while he fucked into you, holding you close when he’d cum. You could tell those were rough days, he’d come in and not say a single thing before he’d be all over you, swallowing up any questions or hesitations that quickly melted away with each tug of your clothes.

He didn’t want to talk about it afterward, either, not that you needed him to tell you what was happening, there was no one protecting you from what was happening like most of the other women Pablo and his men kept close to them. There was just a part of you that wanted to see more of him than what he let you, but you never got that.

You were just glad he was having a good day. Good day Javi meant close and personal and in your face. Of course, you loved when he shoved you against a wall or over a dresser or even over the back of your couch after a rough day. But Javi was the absolute fucking master at eye-contact sex, which was never something you really craved with the men you’d been with before.

You remembered when you look away from the Javi the first, and last, time. He’d slammed into you one hard time, fingers clenching your jaw and jerking your head to him. “Quiero mirar esos bonitos ojos mientras te follo, preciosa. No apartes la vista de mí.” He’d all but growled. I want to look into those pretty eyes while I fuck you, precious. Don't look away from me.

You didn’t dare look away from after that. “Preciosa~” Javier snapped in your face a couple times. You blinked rapidly and looked from his chest to his face. “Now where did you run off to that could’ve been more attention catching?” He raised a brow, leaned down so you were face to face. 

You shook your head. “Nothing could be more attention grabbing than the sight in front of me, Mon loup.” You purred, leaning up to gently tug him down into another kiss, sighing happily and laughing happily as he hugged you up into his lap, sitting back on his heels, his lips moving with yours lazily as he guided your legs around his waist. 

“Can’t think of anything I missed more than this.” Javi hummed, guiding your clothed crotch against his slowly. “Except maybe those… orgasmic massages.” He gripped your hips tightly, already knowing he couldn’t really leave marks on your like that pit in his stomach was screaming at him to. “Aww you did miss them.” You kissed along his neck, rocking down against him as he groaned next to your ear.

“Of course I did, Preciosa.” He nipped at your earlobe lightly before unhooking your bra and groaning as he kissed along your chest. “God damn I missed these gorgeous tits.” He muttered, taking one into his mouth, his tongue massaging your nipple as he sucked lightly, pulling off with a soft pop before doing the same to the other one.

“Javi~ cmon it’s been too long, papi. I need you.” You pressed against him, scratching lightly at his shoulder. Javier let out a low growl before separating the two of you just enough to get you both stripped down before he pushed you back on the bed, a giggle leaving your throat as he pressed you into the bed with a hand pressing very lightly at the sides of your neck.

“Pequeña zorra. Llamándome papi sólo para excitarme, y delante de mi compañero. ¿Tratando de meterme en problemas? ¿Eh?” You little slut. Calling me papi just to turn me on, and in front of my partner. Trying to get me in trouble? huh?

You loved when Javi spoke Spanish… okay sure you loved when Javi spoke any time, but Spanish always flowed so quickly off his tongue, sounded so good when his accent came out nice and thick. You could eat him alive. “No, papi. Would never get you in trouble.” You bit your lip and watched as he kissed his way down your body. Oh praise be to every sex god and goddess out there that has anything to do with Javier Peña and his absolutely sinful mouth.

“No?” He hummed, looking up at you as he nudged his nose ever so slightly at your clit, just barely catching it as a shudder ran through you. You shook your head quickly. “No. Wouldn’t wanna get you in trouble- get you sent home. What would I do without you here, Mon loup?” You pouted. 

Javi groaned and with that he was diving in like he was starving, sucking and licking my at your clit eagerly, his hips pressing down into the silk sheets that adorned your mattress. Your eyes were glued to Javi, who was peering up at you before finally closing his eyes, moaning and pushing his tongue into you as he buried his face in your pussy. “Fuck… Javi.” You moaned happily and dropped your head back, your fingers tangling in his hair as you rocked your hips up against his mouth.

Now, the men in France were very good in bed, the covered all the bases. But there was something about Javi.. about the way he grabbed you, kissed you, fucked you… no one could compare to him or even wipe the memory of his hands, his voice, out of your head, no matter how hard you’d tried over the years.

After Pablo Escobar and the Cali Cartel, you figured Javier would’ve stopped, just been a detective in some police department somewhere, but he was here, between your legs with two of his fingers replacing his tongue while he sucked and licked eagerly at your clit. 

“Putain, Javi... tu es si bon. Je vais jouir, putain.” You moaned loudly, gripping his hair tightly as that string in your stomach snapped and you were cumming with a loud cry of Javier’s name, your back arching off the bed as your hips rocked up into his mouth eagerly. Fuck, Javi... you're so good. I'm gonna fucking come

Javi worked you through it, fingers thrusting and curling inside you as he sucked on your clit, working you down from your high before he slowly came to a stop and lifted his heady with a grin. “You did so good, mi tesoro.” He hummed, wiping his mouth with his hand before leaning up to kiss you. 

When he pulled his fingers out you let out a soft whine and shifted a little before he chuckled and kissed your neck. “Patience, Mi pequeña zorra.” He hummed. “You’ll get what you’ve been needin’.” My little slut

Your arms and legs wrapped around him eagerly, pulling him closer to you while you muttered “por favor, papi, fóllame. Fóllame. Fóllame.” Please, papi, fuck me. Fuck me. Fuck me. 

Javier chuckled lowly and pulled you up against him, kissing you deeply as he massaged his tip along your slit, finally pushing into where you needed him most. “Oh, bebesita. You’ve been waiting so long for this, huh?” You nodded eagerly and looked up into his big brows eyes, swallowing thickly. “Missed how you felt inside me, Javi. So big- fuck it feels so fucking good.” You shuddered.

Javi sat there for a while, grinding his hips but not really thrusting, not yet. He wanted to drink in the feeling as much as he could before it got too much and he had to move.

Of course, that didn’t take long and just a moment later he was sliding all the way out and then right back in, his head pressed into your neck as he let out the best noises you ever heard a man make. Breathy but gravelly moans and praises filled your ears how good you were for him, how your wetness and tightness was just Tan jodidamente buena. so fucking good

It wasn’t long before you felt a second orgasm rip through you, Javier’s angle pushing his tip right into that spongey bundle of nerves deep inside you. You came with a soft cry of his name, your nails digging into his shoulders as you pushed your face into his neck, moaning happily, babbling French expletives into his ear.

And, just like when you heard Javi speak Spanish, that coil in his stomach snapped and his hips were fucking into you sloppy and ragged, chasing his own orgasm. Which finally came with a low groan against your shoulder, his teeth pressing into the skin of your shoulder but not necessarily biting down. 

You never made Javi pull out, the first few times he’d asked where you wanted it, but with every time bring a rushed ‘inside. Please, inside’ it became an understanding between the two of you that Javi didn’t have to pull out if he didn’t want to.. and it never seemed liked he wanted to. Not that you minded or expected anything different.

Javier stayed there, breathing heavily as he nuzzled his face into your neck before slowly sliding out and falling next to you with a grunt. “Fuck, Chiquita.” He hummed and leaned over the edge of the bed the grab his cigarettes from his jeans and pop one between his lips. He laid back beside you again, lighting his cigarette and putting his arm behind his head.

You laughed softly and laid your head on his chest. Javier wasn’t much of a cuddler, not that you expected him to cuddle with someone who was a step down from a prostitute. But he always let you rest on him, and he never left you immediately, of course he’d never spent the night, but that was dangerous and you understood why.

“So, it must be nice working with Steve again.” You turned your head and pressed your chin against his chest as he chuckled. “.. yeah I guess so.” He looked down at you. “.. so you begged to come here, huh?” You teased. 

Javier groaned and rubbed his eye with the palm of his hand as you pulled the cigarette from between his fingers. “I’m gonna kill him.” He muttered with a heavy sigh as you took a long drag from the cigarette.

“Why?” You kissed his neck lightly before resting your head on his chest as you exhaled the smoke in your lungs. “I didn’t actually think you’d wanna see me again.” “Why not?” Javier looked down at you as he took the cigarette from you. “Well… for one I ditched you. I was supposed to be helping and I just ran.” Javier shook his head. “Safest option for you.” He sighed heavily, pushing all the smoke from his lungs as he scratched his nose. “Sin resentimientos, Princesa.” He kissed the top of your head. No hard feelings, Princess

You sighed and nodded hesitantly as you kissed his chest and nuzzled his neck, arms wrapped around him. “… since.. it’s your first night.. do you think you could stay?” You looked up at him hesitantly, prepared for him to say no but hoping he would say yes just this one time.

Javier was quiet for a while, looking at the cigarette between his fingers with his brows furrowed. “Preciosa…” you looked away and chewed nervously on your lip, waiting for him to say he can’t, that it’s just too dangerous and that he should really leave after a while.

But then, he sighed and took a long drag from his cigarette before putting it out and turning on his side so that you had no choice but to look at him as his hand up to your cheek, sliding his thumb across it, his puppy dog eyes boring into you. God you loved his eyes. “… Sólo esta noche. Después de esto es demasiado peligroso.” He whispered. Tonight only. After this it is too dangerous

You nodded quickly and took a deep breath. “Missed you, Javi.” You whispered softly, nuzzling into his hand a little before hesitantly scooting closer and curling yourself into him. The only time you were actually held by Javier, as depressing as this is about to sound, is when he’s holding you against him, fucking into you, or when he’s greeting you and you get to feel what it’s like to be casually intimate with him for just a second.

Not that you didn’t enjoy when he held you against him, you loved it. But he didn’t cuddle. At some point it started to bother you, you weren’t sure when, maybe somewhere in between the third or fourth time you met with him in his apartment, the second time you had to leave immediately after, maybe? Both times it was because they got something in Escobar, thanks to your information, and both times Javier had kissed you and told you to get home safe and he’d make it up to you. And he always did. 

Slowly, though, you felt Javier’s arms slowly wrap around you and pull you close, one arm around your shoulders while the other rubbed along the line of your spine. You let out a happy hum and nuzzled a little closer to him as you quickly drifted off.

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The next morning you got up early, you weren’t really sure when Javi was supposed to be at work but you figured, since he mentioned your massages, you’d wake him up that way. So, as slowly and as quietly as you could you climbed onto his legs, stopping when he shifted and closed your eyes before peeking one open and nodding victoriously when he settled back down.

You started at the bottom of his back, working your fingers into the muscle, it was looser than Colombia but still tense and straining against your fingertips. As you worked your way around his back, sliding your hands up the curve up his spine and working them into his shoulders, groans and hums spilled from his mouth, his hips pressing into your mattress a few times before you saw his eyes fluttering and his head turning.

“¿Precioso? ¿Qué estás haciendo? What time is it?” Precious? What are you doing? He lifted and turned his head to look back at you. “What does it look like, Mon loup?” You leaned down and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Need to give you one of my massages. It’s still early. You have time.” You massaged his shoulders with a soft hum. “So.. I’m guessing Steve is going to pick you up from here?” Javier groaned happily when you pressed into his muscles.

“Mhm. Called him last night. He’s got a big fuckin’ mouth.” You laughed softly and rolled your eyes a little. “I imagine it’s a shock, Javier Peña staying the night with a girl.” You tsked. “It’s like a fairytale.” You pressed kisses in the wake of your hands, moving them from his back to his arms, working on the flesh there. “Yeah yeah he said something like that.” He huffed a little and shook his head.

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For the next thirty minutes you worked on Javier’s back, getting out every knot and kink you could find, pulling out some whimper-like noises that he refused to admit were whimpers. He didn’t really let you get to the happy ending part before he pushing you down onto your bed and pounding the ever loving daylight out of you for just a little too long.

He rushed out the door shouting Spanish expletives, Steve laughing his ass off down on the street, standing outside the car. You laughed when you noticed why Steve was laughing. You grabbed Javier’s shoe off the floor and ran to the window, pushing it open and leaning out.

“¡Oh, Papi, creo que olvidaste algo!” I think you forgot something! You leaned out the window, waving his shoe back and forth as he looked up. Steve was laughing harder now as you held your silk robe closed. 

Javi looked up and shook his head a little, motioning for you to bring the shoe down to him. You laughed softly and grabbed your keys before rushing out of your apartment to give Javi his shoe, laughing at how neither of you noticed he was hopping out of your apartment putting his only shoe on. 

You opened the main door to your apartment building and held his shoe out to him with him a smile. “Que tengas un buen día, papi. ¿Atrapas a los malos por mí?” Have a good day, papi. Catch the bad guys for me?

Javi chuckled and shook his head. “He’ll never shut up about that.” You hummed and shrugged. “Maybe not. All the more reason for you to come back for a massage.” You teased before tugging him just inside the door for a deep kiss as you handed him his shoe.

And then Steve was whistling. “Hey! Papi! Let’s get a move on!” Javier groaned. “That’s gonna get annoying fast. I’m comin’!” He pulled away and shoved his foot into his shoe. You leaned on the door to your building, waving to the two of them as they got into their jeep and drove off, and then you started to get ready for your day. You needed information for Javi.

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