#i promise they will be conscious
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Henry is the type of dad who falls asleep looking like he's reading. Who wouldn't tho when the book is about sediments.
---
Anyway, surprise surprise another artwork of them sleeping. I have a problem haha.
This was fun to explore light a bit, and clothes are a pain as always, I bullshit most of the folds tbh.
#dungeons and daddies#darryl wilson#dndads#glenn close#dndaddies#glenn close dndads#henry oak#my art#henry oak garcia#polydads#i promise i will branch out#maybe#next artwork#i promise they will be conscious#or maype i will draw ron sleeping#i bet he has weird sleeping positions or habits#maybe he counts buisness cards to fall asleep#haha love that buisness man#anyway suggestions are welcome haha#who reads the tags? if u do send me the codeword#the codeword is pyramid#firstone gets a free artwork from any character in season one of dndads#;)
209 notes
·
View notes
Text
i love that hickey's immediate defense mechanism to anything bad happening to him ever is to break out in the most scuffed patrick bateman type smile imaginable while he stalls for time to come up with a more sane response than either spitting vitriol or taking a chunk out of someone with his teeth.
his bitch wife having the gall to divorce HIM (god's greatest gift to bottoms and a known catch)? sniles. being unjustly flogged bloody in front of the crew after his genius 1000 iq plan doesn't pan out and land him an irish dilf? sniles so sneetly. telling goodsir to butcher billy, getting called out for killing his miserable ex-wife himself for din-din but reasonably drawing the line at meat processing, being clocked as growing up BROKE, and hearing "no" from a man he thought was a doormat?? i know in my heart that when he's sitting there for a moment with his rictus grin, his internal monologue is just incoherent violence like
#len speaks#amc the terror#the terror#cornelius hickey#he does this a LOT more these are just the ones off the top of my head#i love his false smiles while experiencing conflict. he's trying so hard to appear in control but fake recognizes fake <3 👁👄👁#i've smiled in arguments before and when it happens i know i'm .2 seconds away from screaming#if he's conscious of it i think he tells himself his smiles are disarming but to me they ring warning bells.#it's like if a dog or a chimp bares its teeth. if u don't know much abt them it seems cute but if u do then u KNOW it's a promise of harm
563 notes
·
View notes
Text
Welp, I talked with my doctor and we've decided that it's about time to admit my family's strong history of genetic cardiovascular disease is starting to catch up with me. I've known it was coming since I was a kid but I'd been hoping I could at least make it to 30 first!
I'm in my late 20s, and I know that sounds young for this kind of thing, and to clarify I'm absolutely 100% fine right now, but literally not a single man on my dad's side of the family has reached 40 without at least one heart attack. My grandpa had his first one at 26, a few years younger than I am. We've just got a very very strong genetic history of heart disease and I knew it would find me eventually. I get my blood work checked often because of this, especially knowing that being on testosterone would raise me to the risk levels of a cis guy, and we've finally decided my cholesterol is just too high.
It's just a little scary, to be on a statin to lower cholesterol at my age, and I can't help but wonder how long it's going to be until it gets more serious. My blood pressure is absolutely fine and my levels aren't even at the point where they'd usually start medicating for, they're just going ahead and doing it now given my family's history, so I'm not, like, at risk of imminent death or anything, but it's just really freaky.
#and before anyone tries to be a doctor at me: i promise i've been conscious about a heart-healthy diet and exercise my entire life#it's genuinely just genetic#personal
36 notes
·
View notes
Text
Several Sentence Sunday
Hi, I'm back with a (large) snippet of Frostpunk AU, this one set before the last one because I cannot write chronologically it seems. Also I've had beans for the smut at the end of this so who knows, the next snip might be some seggs!
The coals lying in the firepit in the middle of the cabin are still warm, indicating another scouting team had been here not too long ago. Tommy starts up the fire as Eli gives Edmundo a once over, and then helps Buck to release Christopher from his burrow in Buck’s clothes. Both Edmundo and Christopher’s temperatures are up a couple of degrees, giving Buck hope that they might make it back in time. Edmundo’s heart is still racing, and his breathing is still shallow. Buck watches as Eli’s face goes tight when he reads the amount of oxygen in Edmundo’s blood, and he pulls Bobby aside for a hushed conversation. “10 bucks says the kid makes it, but the dad doesn’t,” Sal says as he settles himself between Buck and Tommy on the floor. Immediately, Buck’s blood boils. That’s someone’s life Sal’s talking about, betting on an outcome that would make Christopher an orphan (Buck assumes, he has no idea what happened to the boy’s mother) and would turn the kid’s life upside down. Sal’s usually a decent enough guy but sometimes, he can be a total prick. “Twenty says they make it back to the city and both survive,” Buck replies fiercely. “They’re going to make it. They’ve got to.” “Buck, man, don’t get too attached,” Tommy says placatingly, resting his hand on Buck’s shoulder. “We can’t save everyone.” Buck shrugs it off, annoyed. “I’m not getting attached,” he insists, though as the words leave his mouth, he knows they’re not entirely true. He’s spent four hours holding this kid close to him, sharing his warmth and energy so the boy might survive. It’s hard not to feel some kind of responsibility towards him. Not helped by the fact that as he walked behind Tommy, Eli, and the stretcher, he couldn’t help but catalogue Edmundo’s features, too. The way his eyelashes stood out against his cheeks, long and brown against the olive of his skin. The way his lips were slightly parted as he breathed, full and pink and just a little bit chapped from the wind. The way the wind would rustle through his hair, making it fluffy and pillow-like, with the occasional wavy strand falling over his forehead. Buck’s not blind, he can appreciate beauty when he sees it, but there’s something more to Edmundo. Something in the way he waited to know his son was safe before he let himself succumb to the exhaustion, as though he valued his son’s life more than his own. Or perhaps the way he’d sought out Buck’s hand, clinging to him the way a small child clings to their father in the face of fear. Edmundo may seem like a tough, no-nonsense man on paper, with his credentials from the military, but Buck can tell that deep down, he’s a lost boy, trying to find his way home. It makes Buck want to protect him and Christopher all the more.
tagging @theotherbuckley @hippolotamus @watchyourbuck @thewolvesof1998 @disasterbuckdiaz @puppyboybuckley @bucksbackwardcap @fortheloveofbuddie @spotsandsocks @aroeddiediaz @pirrusstuff @housewifebuck @daffi-990 @jesuisici33 @tizniz @wikiangela @steadfastsaturnsrings @buckbuckgoose @exhuastedpigeon @cal-daisies-and-briars @wildlife4life @slightlyobsessedwitheverything @evanbegins @nmcggg @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @rainbow-nerdss @kitteneddiediaz @elvensorceress @babytrapperdiaz @ci5mates @hermscat @thekristen999 @epicbuddieficrecs
#and the pining begins#prepare yourself for a whole forest of this#also I promise he won't be edmundo for the whole fic#it's just bc eddie hasn't been conscious to correct him yet#frostpunk au#buddie#eddie diaz#evan buckley#911 abc#911 buddie#911verse#911 fanfic#911#eddie x buck#usercam
85 notes
·
View notes
Note
nick is so bad tell him i want him (i have short black hair so im basically sunny)
Nick says thanks! :D
#hehehehe i loved making that#i LOVE IT when people ask questions to these guys......#if i thought an ask blog would work for 'em i'd make one#thank you so much for the ask anon that was very very fun.#drawing#art#digital#gif#animation#(somewhat)#omori#arsenic#ask#anon#omori basil#omori sunny#omori au#omori sunflower#sunnflower#i set this pre-incident so they don't have the eyepatches I PROMISE I DIDNT JUST FORGET IT WAS A CONSCIOUS DECISION
45 notes
·
View notes
Text
Junelezen 3: Breakfast
Dusk is an insomniac, which means mornings are usually terrible.
Farron tries to make them a little better by making sure he has a ton of food to eat in the mornings - and Dusk does really like pancakes - but it doesn't always work.
#ffxiv#gpose#junelezen 2024#junelezen#dusk and farron#he's not hungover i promise#he just resents being conscious
42 notes
·
View notes
Text
My deepest apologies in advance to the Princess Tutu fandom for not only having created, but posted this as my first art under the P.Tutu tag. I blame that one official art of Max with ballet shoes (but no tutu bc Steve Purcell is a c o w a r d/jk) and the many instances of Max wearing dresses throughout the extended canon.
Highly doubt there's lotta overlap between Sam&Max and P.Tutu fans. At least I hope with this I can get more people either at the bare minimum by having people check out the other fandom out of morbid curiosity, both fandoms are well loved yet niche....
This is just Max wearing the eponymous magical girl's fit btw! I can see myself maybe making both a magical girl and a ballet/dancer Sam&Max AU in the future, but I'm not deranged enough as to make a P.tutu AU!......I think.
...at least I hope so.
#sam & max fanart#sam & max#sam and max#Sam&Max#Princess Tutu#P.Tutu#feels a lil' bit. idk. sacrilegious??? to put Sam&Max and P.Tutu tags under the same post#i feel like i just did unintentionally did something that was foretold on a forbidden text or another.#anyway. pls don't say anything about the lineart I'm begging you. i promise you any mistakes you are able to see??? I'm fully aware of them#they haunt me as i type these tags. close my eyes and i can see them. have mercy of me i drew the lineart with my fatahh fingers#drawing with fingers alone and being cursed to constantly be overly conscious about my own mistakes is punishment enough bahayauIIIaj#NA.S art
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
A himbo, as promised
This look is what happens when you try to be Y2K but youve only ever seen Earth in vintage tourism brochures
#i thought that one CAS challenge with harajuku fashion was hard...#girl i do not understand y2k at ALL i am looking at all these refs trying to connect the dots and not finding a single fucking dot#some of its grunge. some of its techwear. some of its just random shit#HOW are people categorizing this stuff how does it all fit together i dont understand...#so anyway all that to say i leaned hard on some staples and then felt self conscious and tacked accessories on#which i KNOW makes it further from the Look but it covers up the insecurity 👍#i might go back and re-style him one day bc he looked good in a LOT of stuff#and id love to explore what i mightve put him in if not doing a challenge.#hes lovely!#and his eyes are grey i PROMISE hes just got those swag shades on so you cant really tell :/#simoleon#my kiddos
34 notes
·
View notes
Text
is there ever gonna be a more tender and profoundly adoring way to let go of someone than "your love will be safe with me"
#i should honestly start a tag about this song cause i think about it so often..........#i'm walking away making the conscious choice of leaving with the best of you. the love that you had for me#i'll carry it and cradle it in my heart. it's a promise it's an inevitability it's as natural as it can be#there will be effort put into taking care of it. i wont let myself forget you loved me. i wont let the truth that you once did it fade away#bon iver#re: stacks#and there's the tag...........
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
sosoooomgmh. i likeeeee..characters. want to finish. some character sheets. do NOT want to write personality traits.
#is me#GOUAHGH#I AWLAYS GE TSO SILLY AND SELF CONSCIOUS LIKE....every one i have roleplayed with has told me i make Good characters.#and ALSO. and also and also i want to show it i want to show that look i know my characters are hypocritical. inconsistent.#but i PROMISE theres a reason behind it. they have a mind and it's flawed and stupid.#i ALSO want to do literature roleplay again.#it's been aWhile since i've !!! been able to stretch my writing muscles. (<- this guy sucks at just sitting down 2 write)#but ALSO writing humans has me floundering.#what are Human tells and ticks and gestures. man.
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
I think online mutual culture is killing some of you
#it has been for a long time#you don't owe anyone a follow#and people don't owe you that either... and regardless if you're friendly with them ie interacting constantly or not#these are real people you don't know very well and that is FINE!#if someone doesn't follow back that doesn't mean they hate you... and you shouldn't be self conscious about it#it's ok! you don't have to be scared of embarrassing yourself by reblogging something you like#you shouldn't be terrified of getting unfollowed or vagued or anything at all. and most people aren't mean about it#and you can interact with someone positively without following them or vice versa#like at the end of the day none of this is real#again it's different when you are actually friends and even if you aren't it's nice to just follow and interact i know! i agree#but there's this obsession with mutual followings that used to be even more prevalent on here#it's moved to twitter for the most part i feel but it'll still be here forever.#unfortunately for some people being online is just playing a game of Not Getting Unfollowed#and in case anyone gets scared this isn't a vague post this is just something i notice a little more every day#kinblr was obsessed with this especially and now that it's dying out i see this substantially less but its presence is still overwhelming#and i'm not saying DON'T care about people. it's fun to have mutuals you're just chill with but you know#don't get in over your head about it! you shouldn't be obsessed with cultivating the ultimate online persona just to appease everybody#but also go dm that mutual. make friends. talk to people. shyness and paranoia will steal your life away#and if you don't click it's no big deal. there's always someone out there for you. i promise this is true. +you can still follow each other#nobody makes follow forevers anymore. free yourself#and if we're mutuals i care about you! but that goes for everyone else too#once again this isn't me trying to diss anyone i just think some people take the follow button too seriously
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
-
#hey like. not to be really annoying i shouldn't be doing this aged 32 but i'm really struggling#every time the weather gets cold i feel like i am entering winter with more and more despair#i am really struggling this time#every day is a struggle to get through#i'm losing my hair#i'm losing my reasons to live#i keep putting on a full face of makeup and clothes in my room at like 2am just to desperately try to feel human#i keep saying i don't know if I'll survive the winter and people keep laughing but I don't mean it as a joke#i'm sadder than i've ever been and everything feels like it's falling apart#whenever i get the chance to confide this in people i get told that i'm strong and i'm a survivor#and that i should do some shit to make me happy#and yea i can stave it all off for a few minutes with like a trip out or some makeup or something but it all feels like bandaids#for a serious wound that's going to go septic soon#like this isn't a way to live a life#i don't want to 'be strong' or a 'survivor' anymore i want to be fucking happy#i'm tired and promises of brief happiness between ever worsening pain feel almost patronizing at this point#i woke up the other day in the middle of the night and as soon as conscious thoughts hit my brain i almost doubled over#if i had been not on the first floor i think i might have jumped then and there#i want to be loved and feel like my love is worth something#i want a clean apartment of my own and a career that doesn't feel like it's designed to kill me#i'm 32 and still essentially feel like i'm living my life like a teenager#i want sun and suncatchers and healthy plants and a wardrobe that fits my clothes#and i want the will to actually get up in the morning#i endured all of this for so long on a delusional belief that things were going to magically get better#but i realize now they won't#i became aware of the bounds of my cage with no means of escaping them#i'm sick of living each day oscillating between numbness and grief i can barely eat i can barely work i can barely laugh#and no one's coming to save me#i'm agonized by the idea that this is maybe what life always is for everybody#is this how it's supposed to be
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
Metal Sonic. He was also created to be a weapon but unlike Shadow as a robot he’s not raised with love at all. He has 1 purpose and it’s to kill Sonic, he’s the "superior Sonic", his identity is Sonic his purpose is Sonic killing his original is where his life starts and stops. But even being a robot, he has soo much anger. He’s reckless and does irrational things out of wrath and impatience.
Push him the wrong way and he does a takeover, gets delusional enough — desperate enough that being the ‘superior’ Sonic has failed him, that it may be untrue — to think he’s the original Sonic, and ultimately when Sonic defeats him then again in his last effort he transforms into a huge monster and it’s such a striking visual of just how he has such little sense of self beyond the goal that he thinks will make him worthy of existing and how much he’s willing to self-destruct for it. He finally gets a mouth and he screams. What comes after proving he’s the better Sonic, after crushing him? Then what? What? Even at his highest level of power and social hierarchy and closest to his goal he’s miserable.
Like he hates Sonic he hates him for who he is, for what he represents and for being all that Metal isn’t, but also he wants to be him so so bad. If he could just defeat Sonic, everything in the world will fall into place and everything will be crystal clear, he knows it.
No but truly, the way time and time again he throws himself into death if it means having even a shot of beating Sonic in any way. He’s always like "being a robot makes me superior, organics are pathetic" but in Reflections he wishes he was as weak as one if it made him closer to being Sonic. He’s not Sonic he can never be Sonic and he knows it but he can’t do anything about it and he can’t handle it. He’d rather die to feel like he’s closer to being Sonic than be superior and apart.
Dying would have been the preferable outcome, just for a confirmation he can die the way Sonic does. Something that by all accounts should seem meaningless to a machine, but cognitive dissonance is the only way things make sense anymore. He just wants to go off in fireworks. He craves attention, he craves recognition, he craves an identity and for people to acknowledge it, for it to feel if only a little more real.
He’s tired of failing and failing and failing and failing but it’s his fault if he always fails, it’s his hubris, it’s his temper, it’s the choices he actually makes. Or is it his fault? Can we blame him for failing, can we blame him for not being able to best Sonic, the undefeated, the cosmic hero? Or was he just born without the power to best Sonic? Was he just made too weak, his body not strong enough and his program too unwise and dysfunctional. By all accounts if there was a healing arc for him it should be about accepting his limitations, but how crushing it is to even consider that he truly could have been born Not Enough for what was literally his reason to live. Being Sonic is an impossible goal, of course, but beating him is just as hopeless, but a hope he clings onto nonetheless. What else does he have?
He’s mute he’s so so angry he has literally no way to externalize anything. After all he’s a robot and robots don’t need to talk! Robots only have to fulfill their tasks and that’s it! And Metal has been failing his one task for years and years and forever since his first moment of life.
It drives me crazy how much and how often the symbol of Sonic is weaponized. Sonic, The Hero, the virtuous compassionate saint, the fastest thing alive. Victory seems effortless for him. He simply is, as fast as the wind and a living hurricane. He’s even cocky. He rubs it in. By being such a force of nature that so many misguided villains have to overcome as an obstacle on their own personal journey, he becomes the Great Power to defeat to achieve happiness, our protagonist’s triumph feels like fate and it feels cruel.
It’s him, it’s his story, he always triumphs and whatever failures that means for others they’re theirs to deal with. How can you possibly grow past him when he’s everywhere winning everything and all you know is losing. Did he ever have any shot? Just once. Just once let him prove himself. Sonic is a plague on Metal Sonic’s life. It’s not his fault, it’s never been his fault, but he is, things just are, it’s fate, maybe, and it’s cruel, surely.
Except it’s not inevitable, because several times he gets offered an olive branch and always he agressively refuses it.
He has some degree of free will, we know it, and he does get opportunities, and yet. He has the key but chooses to shackle himself. He cannot be saved he won’t be saved he’ll never let it
It’s the curse of comics needing a status quo that he doesn’t never redemption arcs except Shard I guess, of course, but tragically it also just… Fits Metal’s character so well, it makes perfect sense. He’s the one doing this all to himself, in a way. The circumstances of his creation and his environment molded him to a degree so existentially intense that the right to exist is achievement-based, what else is there for him? Failure is painful, but escaping the mold you were made for can be so much scarier. The pain, at least, is something you know, have learned to handle.
So he gets comic issues and games showing slivers of him, having an identity crisis and suicidal ideation and breakdowns, but that’s it. He’s a robot so his body doesn’t really matter so he can die all the time, and he does! He usually ends up dying in lava and whatnot, pushed foward and never letting go, always clinging onto his purpose with claws and fraying engines, trying to kamikaze enough for the explosion blast to do what he never achieved in life. Even if he wasn’t desensitized to his own death and didn’t have an infinite amount of bodies because of the AI situation, I don’t think he’d act one bit different tbh. He’s reckless because he’s replaceable, but would he feel any less if there weren’t other copies of him, himself a flawed copy?
He always just… Chooses to not grow, because it’s too painful to acknowledge that your life has been a lie and meaningless and you’re wrong about everything. He chooses to go back to his abusive creator, he always stagnates in evil and does it again and again every day and keeps the rage burning because that’s the only thing keeping him going.
It’s the only thing he has, the rage is the only thing that’s actually his. It’s the thing that fuels him whenever he disobeys orders, it fuels every action he initiates. The only thing he has is rage and he has to keep it this way because otherwise it’d be fear instead.
"See me as I am! No longer afraid of anything!"
Metal only you can fix yourself and you won’t, but know that at your funeral I’ll be there and sobbing
Sonic as an unattainable symbol of excellence and love and goodness and strength and power. Sonic as a reminder that you’ll never live up to what you wish you could be. Sonic as the identity reference point to overcome. The Hero to beat to step out of the shadows and become your own person. The hero to defeat to stop being the villain. Losing my mind
It feels like he kicks them while they’re down and it’s just not true, but I think it’s crazy good that they manage to make us feel it from the villain’s angle even just from composition sometimes.
#Metal sonic#fumi rambles#Meta#i have to exorcise how he invades my brain once in a while#Sonic#This is character exploration i’m not writing a paper and not a comic purist feel free to go ‘um actually’ if i said anything wrong but idc#Eggman will literally leave a broken but alive Metal out all winter until a character out of pity drags him back to him#his body’s broken he can’t move but his mind’s still working. He’s immobile but conscious for SEASONS#The Sage daughter favoritism of it all. Crying. Metal about to go joker mode. Kill your dad Metal it’s a rite of passage#The way Sonic eggs him on. I’m gonna kill him hold me back#Screaming into the void. Ok maybe i’m finishing my 2yo Metal fanfic this month…… maybe….#He’s a screwup……. My babygirl……… he’ll outgrow the murderous impulses I promise can we adopt him from the shelter
18 notes
·
View notes
Note
It's not quite dark yet but I can already see the moon :)
- hero-of-the-wolf
Dodkxjkdndjt lucky! I am exhausted, so I can't even walk outside right now. But I'm at my parents for the summer (out of the city) so I can actually see the stars and stuff :DD Light pollution is my mortal enemy.
The moon cycle's heading towards more full right now so I'll be looking out up? for it!
#I love the moon so much#personal#a wolf friend#the moon!!#response times are gonna be slow rn#sleepy time#any conversations are on hold until I am conscious again#no promises on when that is sleep has been a struggle and I might go into a coma soon (<<uhh literally)#im so tired can I just be healthy already? the answer is no. and I am also getting my wisdom teeth out soon soooo#which is totally off topic but just a little warning response times might be longer *shrug*#can still send me stuff though!#anyways#<333#thanks for sharing I love the moon and as proved lose my senses at the mere mention of her#I always know where we are on the cycle lol
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
You know when you're reading something and it's like "Oh this poor soul took one of those 'words to use instead of 'said'' posts too seriously"
#'SAID' IS A NEUTRAL SPEECH INDICATOR THAT BARELY REGISTERS CONSCIOUSLY WITH A READER#YOU USE DIFFERENT THINGS WHEN TRYING TO DRAW THEIR CONSCIOUS ATTENTION TO EXACTLY HOW A CHARACTER IS SAYING SOMETHING#OR WHEN YOU WANT TO CHANGE THE MEANING OF THE DIALOGUE#OTHERWISE YOU CAN USE 'SAID' YOU CAN USE IT A LOT IT'S OKAY. IT'S OKAY I PROMISE
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
My sincerest apologies to all of my AO3 subscribers for flooding your inbox recently. I'm posting 3x a week (Sun/Tues/Fri) on the Piarles Omegaverse fic Take A Chance On My Love and 3x a week (Mon/Wed/Sat) on the Piarles Dragonrider/Witch collab fic By the Grace of Magic and Flames.
This will be the last week of Magic and Flames because there's only 3 chapters remaining (‼️) and then I'll be back to only 3x a week for the rest of the month to finish out the omegaverse fic. Then I promise I'm done with regular upload longfics for a while!
(I've lost like 5-6 subscribers on AO3 in the last week and, while I'm a firm believer in read what brings you joy, it's still a shitty feeling.)
All of this to say thank you to those that are reading & leaving kudos & commenting on either of those fics! Your support makes me want to keep writing these silly little stories. 💚
#espi writes stuff!#f1 rpf fic#piarles#constantly torn between saying “fuck it” and being unapologetic for the insanity#and being embarrassed over my generalized existence#(I still have *over* 100 subscribers on AO3 which is just crazy)#(and I feel so self-conscious about flooding everyone's inboxes recently)#(I will crawl back under my rock soon I promise)
10 notes
·
View notes