#i probably shouldn't tag him but fuck it lol

[golbrocklovely]

colby is a very contradicting human being. just when you think he has changed, hes gotten the hint, there is not more he can delete,he goes back and throws in a old snap question from Ms snapchat and we’re back to square 1. i think most of us have caught up to her game by now, how conniving she is, and deemed it pretty pathetic and sad, but he loves to be the second player whenever things are finally starting to settle down and get quiet. if he ruins this year with his shenanigans again i am officially done with all of them. i think twitter has calm down, more people have opened their eyes and then there he goes once again with mlp, and ms snap, and traitor taylor.

i might be giving some controversial yet brave opinions here in this ask lol jk

i'm not saying any of this to you, or that this whole answer is about you, anon. this is more a general, overall feeling i have towards some of the anons i get that mention being upset towards colby about stas or shea or whoever.

i get it can be annoying when he gives attention to these ppl. i understand that it sucks when things finally cool down and grow quiet only for them to start back up again bc he does something. but i think it's good to remember that not everything he does related to these girls is shit-stirring. sure, there are definitely times when he does lurk and likes to see what everyone is saying. but honestly, i don't think this past time (of him using stas' old question on snapchat) was him trying to start anything. highkey he probably just used it absentmindedly. he's used it multiple times in the past, why does now seem different?

also, i feel like just bc we have a problem with someone, and he might have had a problem with this same someone, doesn't mean he has to ignore them for eternity bc it pisses us off. look, i don't like stas, i've made that clear. but i also know that i can't control what he does. even if we all know giving her attention causes issues, it's his life at the end of the day. not to mention, that is his friend regardless of how we feel. sure, they had their problems, they had their kerfuffle; but clearly they moved on from it, even if slightly. she's probably gonna be in videos this year. they might even go on trips together. but that doesn't mean oh he's doing all of this for attention / to start drama back up in the the fandom. tbh i think some of yall give him a lot more credit than you should lol

but even if, for argument's sake, he is doing all of this to shit stir… why isn't he allowed to do that? i get it. it's annoying. but imagine how annoying it must be for him. he can't do anything without being shipped with stas or shea, or another girl if he dares to breathe near her. and even when he tells the fandom to not ship him with his friends, they don't listen. not to mention no girl will ever be good enough for him and this fandom. and then on top of that, he's told who he should and shouldn't hang out with. and while i know a lot of us warn him bc we care, he may not see it like that bc of past fandom bs. he has to walk on eggshells around us in fear of pissing us off which is why he's basically removed himself from almost all social media besides the one he made with sam. he can't even grow facial hair without getting emails sent to his business email telling him to shave it off.

so, is it really surprising that he does shit like this from time to time? if stas can get away with using him for every possible tiktok with a sappy song or poem, why can't he do the same back if he wanted to lol

HOWEVER, that doesn't change the fact that he doesn't want to be shipped with her. it doesn't negate all of the things he's outright said about being single or not liking being shipped with friends. he's made it clear that he doesn't like that. but him being petty doesn't take it back either.

if you're annoyed by it all, that's fine. but i think it's good to remember that it's his life and we're just observing it. we can't control what he does, and tbh there is so much more going on then we even know. also... don't let it piss you off so much. if you need to remove yourself from the situation, do that.

[artoodeetootired]

lowkey

📖 an f1 driver and a singer are both known for being beasts in their respective fields, but everyone knows they are ironically the shyest in reality- especially when it comes to attraction. they were hidden out of respect for their privacy, until they realised loving shouldn't be a secret.

💭 op!81 x fem!singer (smau)

🎧 lowkey - niki

🃏masterlist🃏

🫧“us in a king size, keep it a secret. say i’m ur queen, but i don’t wanna leave this lowkey.” 🫧

p.s (let's pretend the qatar and las vegas gp's are rounds 10 + 12 of 24 respectively hehe)

ynuser

Tagged: bsfuser

ynuser so... been kind of busy lately...

Liked by sabrinacarpenter, bsfuser, landonorris, and 715,069 others

View all 14,088 comments

forynln U DISAPPEAR FOR 5 MONTHS AFTER UR LAST ALBUM AND POST OUTTA NOWHERE... girl u cannot keep doing this to us...

-> user1 lol watch her

-> user2 Bruh stfu she literally gave us a god sent album made of unicorn shit she doesn't owe u anything

bsfuser i hate you for telling me what's boutta go down but not let me say shit to anyone 😞

-> user3 it's ok bestie u can tell me, i won't tell anyone :)

ynluv How she is so different irl compared to her stage self still baffles me to this day.

-> user4 FR like wdym u gonna be busting out moves that get u viral then act like the sweetest creature on earth when u out here?? 😭

-> user5 duality go prr. she's probably the shyest celebrity i've ever seen.

-> user6 I can't believe she's an '03 baby.

gracieabrams omg ur orange cat

-> user6 car*

-> user7 car*

-> user8 luv u gracie

user9 orange suits yn so well

user0 lando is such a fanboy 😂

-> user| him and half the grid have been so consistent with promoting her LMAO

oscarpiastri posted a story 5m

Liked by logansargeant, landonorris, ynuser, and others

Replies

landonorris: would've been right next to u if stroll hadn't crashed again

mclaren: 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

user_: being very calm compared to ur reaction after lance's fiasco today LOL

logansargeant: LET'S GOOO

user@: wow our pastry posts after a century

alexalbon: oi why didnt you take lily's and my advice to post with yn's music if u asked us in the first place...

Twitter

Instagram

f1

f1 Our special guest performer and new partner for the 16th round on our calendar, Las Vegas, has been confirmed; a little fun before the racing begins! We bet you guys will like this one... 🤭

Until then, round 11 in Netherlands next weekend 🇳🇱 Stay tuned!

Liked by rihanna, katyperry, ynuser, and 795,392

View all 6,204 comments

user! omg i have been waiting for this

f1forlife istg if they bring out the same performers as before...

fanacc the amount of singers liking this post is really fucking with us LOL

alexalbon hi f1 pls tell me u listened to us and booked the grid's voted fav 😸

-> charlesleclerc agreed.

-> maxverstappen1 agreed.

-> landonorris @oscarpiastri and i will boycott.

-> oscarpiastri mate i didn't even vote.

-> landonorris okay fine but u do like yn/ln right? ...right? 🔪

-> oscarpiastri ...

-> landonorris dw everyone osc's just shy no need to cancel him

-> danielricciardo 💃🏽

-> lance_stroll wait there was a vote?

Twitter

Instagram

ynuser

ynuser switch up

Liked by racerbia, selenagomez, bsfuser, and 865,744 others

View all 8,932 comments

forynln she's killing us and she knows it damn well

user pls just one hint 😭

user how do u feel about oscar piastri not liking u LMAO

arianagreenblatt gorg bestie 😩

user the aesthetic change is very sus

user ladies and gentlemen, the queen of singing, dancing, and gatekeeping

-> user the way we still pine after her and her whereabouts even though she is the most nonchalant pop girl out there

-> bsfuser she's cooking smth 🧐

-> frd2 yk smth dont u 🥸

2 weeks later...

Instagram

georgerussell63 posted a story 20sec

Liked by ynuser, f1, lewishamilton, and others

Replies

lewishamilton: why did i not see toto doing this????

ynuser: it was a pleasure meeting u too 🤠

f1: You boys are very welcome

totowolff: George...

-> georgerussell: please don't fire me

landonorris: ok but did u see the way she looked at me??

-> georgerussell lando, u know full well she was looking at someone else

-> landonorris shut up :(

-> georgerussell i will not allow u to ruin her with ur playboy antics

-> landonorris EXCUSE ME

landonorris and f1 🔁

Tagged: f1, ynuser, charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, georgerussell63, fernandoalo_official, maxverstappen1, and oscarpiastri

landonorris best. weekend. ever.

mini photo dump of the boys at the concert 'cause @ynuser actually performed for us 🤯🤯 we're such huge fans- it was epic meeting you!

Liked by racerbia, selenagomez, bsfuser, and 2,993,840 others

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landonorris p.s. oscar loves her, he's just shy

-> oscarpiastri lando u idiot

-> logansargeant i can confirm ahem

mclaren we advocated for this very hard, just so yk...

-> user0 the gods (you) have bestowed us simpletons (seriously) with such a blessing (yn and mclaren interactions)

-> userl for the whole grid? the fans? ...or a particular someone? 🤭

ynuser epic meeting me??? bro i almost fainted meeting u guys and drivers i've been a fan of since i was 10 😭😭😭

-> bsfuser how was it omg

-> ynuser LOL definitely an interesting experience...

-> landonorris omg she replied 😭

-> georgerussell bro she called u bro

user_ im convinced theyre music drunk and not substance drunk here 😮‍💨

ynuser

Tagged: f1

ynuser you all already know. this thread is as aesthetically chaotic as my mind rn.

thank you to my team for handling such a mess of me when since i got this invitation !! could not be here, or look this decent without any of u.

thank you to @f1 from the bottom of my heart. i've been such a fan since i was in nappies, nd you guys just made a dream of mine come true. from the races, new friends, to performing for such a crowd in vegas, it has been one of the most surreal weekends of my life. you all just know im gonna be clutching on to this partnership for as long as i breathe. nd congrats to @maxverstappen1, @oscarpiastri, nd @charlesleclerc on the podium ! until next time 🏎💋✨

(last slide is real footage of me meeting toto wolff)

Liked by racerbia, selenagomez, bsfuser, and 2,408,274 others

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redbullracing thank you for stopping by our pit!

-> mclaren ok but she went to ours first

-> scuderiaferrari yeah... she liked us most though. should've seen her face when she walked in.

-> mercedesamgf1 you guys know she was a long-time mercedes fan before this right??

-> landonorris what is going on? (she definitely liked hanging out with us more)

-> logansargeant lol you're so delulu (laughed way harder with my group)

oscarpiastri thank you too! we should hang out again sometime soon

-> landonorris 'hang out' pfft sure

-> user omg oscar commenting on a non-f1 person's post??? a FEMALE nonetheless????

-> oscarpiastri everyone has to chill fr

bsfuser that’s MY BESTIE

-> user she is GLOWING

-> ynimagine mommy??? sorry. mommy??? sorry.

-> user she is SNATCHED WTF

oscarpiastri

Tagged: danielricciardo, ynuser

oscarpiastri 2nd in vegas! amazing job to the team for this accomplishment, daniel for his dedication, nd yn, who we're all still star-struck by. cheers! 🍾

(credit to @pierregasly's story for second slide)

Liked by ynuser, f1, danielricciardo, and 1,329,866 others

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user guys istg i was in the paddock the whole time AND i know what i saw. so when i say they hit it off really well...

user omg oscar even picked up on her 'nd' habit 😭

ynuser 🧡🧡🧡

-> user u are actually an angel sent from the depths of hell in the best possible way. the setlist??? the body and face??? the personality???

landonorris oscar you... 😨 when did u even go to the front of the stage for that last pic????

lewishamilton cute, flirty, teenage stuff and all but are we not gonna talk about danny ric

-> danielricciardo i think we should just go back to gushing about oscar's crush

-> carlossainz55 his crush??? what am i missing????

-> charlesleclerc the baby has grown up

bsfuser 🤨

f1

Tagged: ynuser

f1 yn appreciation post 🤍🤍🤍

Could not have asked for a better performer and partner to grace us with her presence this weekend 👏🏼

Liked by ynuser, mclaren, oscarpiastri, and 3,071,008 others

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user my timeline is EXPLODING

user converting f1 fans into yn fans too

landonorris slay

-> danielricciardo slay

-> pierregasly slay

-> alexalbon slay

-> lewishamilton what is 'slay'?

-> charlesleclerc slay

-> maxverstappen1 slay

ynuser thank u thank uuu

-> user9 queen what were u on tonight??

-> {user} not even her debut was this hype 💀

ynworld STEP ON ME

f1__grid bruh this is so unecessary... she clearly just wants attention

-> user# stay pressed ur favs like her more than u <3

Twitter

3 weeks later...

oscarpiastri posted a story 10sec

Liked by ynuser, mclaren, maxverstappen1, and others

Replies

user: soooo wonder who took this photo 🧐

user: u guys got smth to tell us? ;)

alexalbon: why do u look depressed today

landonorris: where are u bro

user: what's ur fav yn song?

ynuser: im sorry i can't make it today osc :(

-> oscarpiastri: it's okay, best to let everyone cool down anyways. i'll see u next week?

-> ynuser: i promise :)

1 week later...

ynuser posted a story 30sec

Liked by bsfuser, f1, oscarpiastri, and others

Replies

lewishamilton: ayeee my fav coming over to the pit today?

-> ynuser: i wouldn't miss it for the world 😸 plus fans are dying to know how u pick ur fashion sense out

-> lewishamilton: oh lord

f1: 🤍

landonorris: pls be kind with the question this time :(

-> ynuser: aweeee

-> ynuser: no.

oscarpiastri: wya??

3 more weeks later...

oscarpiastri posted a story 16sec

Liked by nicolepiastri, mclaren, danielricciardo and others

Replies have been disabled

ynuser posted a story 37sec

Liked by bsfuser, f1, nicolepiastri, and others

Replies have been disabled

1 month, 3 races, and 2 performances later...

~3 months later...

oscarpiastri

Tagged: ynuser

oscarpiastri i can't take it anymore. since u guys have wanted to know, anyway.

you've been on my mind since the day i met you (nd yes, admittedly since lando showed me your music videos), nd then when i met you with the biggest crush, i quickly decided that you are one of the most talented, beautiful, kindest people ever. fuck all if i just got my first win, it wouldn't have meant anything without u. i can't have asked for a better partner in crime to wear my number at the races.

although we've been pretty great at keeping it low key these past few months to just family and friends, i wanna show you off, my love x

Liked by ynuser, landonorris, mclaren, and 5,329,866 others

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oscarpiastri also, ty to the grid for keeping it private, nd yes, i will be treating u all for dinner.

-> danielricciardo LFGGGGG

user oh my god.

jennaortega the question is if she beat him at karting

-> oscarpiastri she did...

carlossainz55 i never thought this day would come

landonorris cant put both my happiness and bewilderment that you actually hard launched into words

-> georgerussell character. development.

user ONE OF MY FAV SINGERS BECAME MY FAV WAG TOO AHHHHHHHH

arianagrande y'all cute asf 😭😭😭

user I CALLED IT

-> user nah dont u lie we all thought we were lying to ourselves LMAO

bsfuser one wrong move and i’ll send stroll to do more than just hit u on track 😺

-> oscarpiastri ;-;

-> maxverstappen1 u could send any one on the grid to do it, and they'd be happy to

user they're so in love im bawling

landonorris just so u guys know, his three sisters steal her away from him every week to hang out LOL

-> oscarpiastri that was totally unecessary

-> nicolepiastri give the ppl what they want ossie

Comments on this post have been limited.

ynuser

Tagged: oscarpiastri

ynuser sike.

'orange suits yn so well'... damn right for him 🧡

this man has inspired me in too many ways, that aside from teaching me how to love and be loved. it's been pretty hard having all these memories, but not being able to live them freely because of the pressure. but i wouldn't do it with anyone else. so im gonna be 'showing you off' in my latest single, agora hills, coming out tomorrow night for my love's first win x

(to clarify, f1 has allowed me to take ONE side ONCE, so im not jobless :) ... yet)

Liked by oscarpiastri, dojacat, bsfuser and 6,001,685 others

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frd1 about fucking time

oliviarodrigo this is so cute omg

alexalbon ahem i think i should get some credit for being the ultimate matchmaker here

-> f1 actually, i think it all goes to us.

-> user 💀

logansargeant THE LAST PHOTO PLS SEND IT TO ME LMAO

gracieabrams omg him with her cat 😭😭

-> user gracie, luv, it's car*

-> user car*

-> sabrinacarpenter dw babes i don't get this shit either

user oscar first win AND yn new music AND hard launches from the softest ppl ever??? has the universe finally decided to bless me???

user they were literally meant to be

user what happened to the shy versions of themselves oml

tatemcrae the hottest, most sincere, and talented celebrity couple rn

bsfuser and i was there to witness it all 😌

-> charlesleclerc so was i

-> bsfuser i was first tho

-> charlesleclerc fair enough

-> landonorris i was there the most

-> bsfuser i was their couple counsellor

-> landonorris i was their matchmaker

-> alexalbon NO YOU WERENT

-> bsfuser i was first to find out

-> landonorris no you werent

-> landonorris right? @oscarpiastri @ynuser

-> landonorris RIGHT????

Comments on this post have been limited.

ynuser

Tagged: oscarpiastri

ynuser for u, ur first win, and to many more.

as an extra for u all, 'lowkey' is also out to show my progression from wanting to keep it a secret to having him make me scream his name <3 hope u love us as much as i do.

Liked by oscarpiastri, dojacat, bsfuser and 6,581,921 others

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user the caption???????????????????

user holy shit mother is mothering and father is fathering because never have i ever heard her make a track with sm detail about her partner in it...

-> user FR like where did the two of them go?? almost 8 months but they come back like they've aged a decade

-> user NO CAUSE WTF is 'suck a little dick in the bathroom, who that man with the big strong hands'???? miss yn??? are the both of u feeling okay????

-> user you'd think introvert + introvert = coma, but ig double negatives still apply here

dojacat bitch these tracks SLAP

user okay but osc's guns 👀

sza god, when will this shi happen to me?

mclaren All ur songs on repeat in the paddock.

-> mercedesamgf1 It's true, all the teams agreed

-> redbullracing (the only time we all agree)

user how tf did we get bashful yn and blushing osc to... this??

-> ynuser life's full of mysteries.

landonorris i miss the person i was before hearing these two songs...

-> georgerussell it's true, as big of a fan i am of the two of u, some things are meant to stay between ppl...

-> charlesleclerc i am not saying anything, which means i can get invited to the wedding, yeah?

-> ynuser yes.

-> oscarpiastri yes.

Comments on this post have been limited.

a/n: as u can probably see, i lowkey gave up half way cause i never realised how much work this takes :,)

[satorusluver]

35 + Suguru for the smut prompt thing if there's still room? Pls and thank u 🙏

Suguru Geto + cockwarming

Minors DNI

Tags/warnings: fem reader, religion kink, unprotected sex, established relationship, cockwarming (obviously)

Word count: 1,050 ish (lil longer than a drabble but 🤷‍♀️)

A/N: Anon requested cockwarming but I threw in Priest!Geto as a bonus lol. I've heard certain types of Christians don't consider cockwarming actual sex (Mormons, I think?), bc they believe you have actually move for it to count. Dunno if it's actually true, and yes I know priests are Catholic and not Mormon, but it's smut, guys.

Priest Suguru Geto who's so desperate for your sweet little cunt, but he's also desperate to maintain some semblance of his purity. He loves you, even if he shouldn't. And he lusts for you, which he definitely shouldn't. But twenty-seven years without being intimate with anyone could drive any red-blooded man mad, even a man of God. He can't help but want to experience being inside of a woman -no, not just a woman, being inside of you.

It's his duty as a priest to save his virginity and keep his promise of purity to God, but it doesn't count if he doesn't move, right? Or at least that's how his wayward friend Satoru tried to justify it, saying that it doesn't really count as sex if there's no actual thrusting. If you just get to feel a woman's warmth around your cock without actually doing anything about it. Suguru didn't really buy that, at least not until he met you, fell in love, and became so hopelessly, helplessly, sinfully desperate to be intimate with you.

So it doesn't count if you just sit on his lap and slowly lower yourself onto his cock, his breath hitching in his throat at the feeling of your wet warmth enveloping him...

Or at least that's what he tells himself.

God, you're even tighter than he imagined you'd be. His eyes roll back in his head and a shiver runs through his entire body when he feels himself bottom out. His hands grip the arms of the chair he's sitting in so hard his knuckles turn white at the feeling of his swollen, needy tip pressing gently against the entrance to your womb and your gummy walls clinging to his hard length like you never want to let him go.

"Fuuuck," Suguru groans under his breath as he adjusts to this new, intoxicating feeling. "...sorry, that was unbecoming of a priest," he adds with an embarrassed chuckle.

"And this isn't?" you ask, raising an eyebrow as your inner muscles squeeze around him, and if he thought you were tight before, now you're gripping him like a vice.

"Fuck!" he swears again, his eyes screwing shut and his hands clenching and unclenching as he tries to bring himself back down from the high that's threatening to overtake him already. "D-don't do that, angel, or I m-might..."

Angel. He always calls you his angel. He swears you must be a gift from God, with your ethereal features and kind heart. So how can an angel be so tempting? How can an angel make him want to do the most unholy things, things only married couples should do?

"You're right though, we probably shouldn't be doing this. B-but I don't think I could pull out now if I tried. Does it feel good for you, angel?" Suguru asks sweetly, reaching up to brush your hair out your face with a shaky hand.

"So good, Sugu..." you whisper, meeting his dark eyes with your own. He really does fill you up just right, and you can feel the head of him rubbing up against that sweet spot deep inside of you. You want so badly to move, to grind against him and bring you both the pleasure that you crave. But you know your priest's limits, so your hips stay still. You do, however, lean your head down to kiss him, and you're taken aback when one of his long fingers meets your lips instead.

"If we start making out now, I'm gonna lose all self-control. Can we just stay like this?" Suguru asks in a low, pleading voice. "I just wanna be close to you like this..." he murmurs, burying his face in the crook of your neck with a soft groan.

So you sit there for what feels like an eternity, trying not to think too hard about the way his fat cock is plugging you up and stretching you out, trying not to think too hard about how much you want to move your hips and feel every ridge and vein of his member dragging along your walls, which ache with the need for more stimulation that this is giving you.

You're getting wetter by the minute too, coating his cock in your sticky arousal so much it's dripping down the part of it that can't fit inside you due to his generous length. Every now and then you shift on top of him, adjusting your position a bit and savoring the slight friction it causes. Suguru clearly loves it too, hissing out a strained moan through clenched teeth and squeezing your sides a tad harder at your every minor movement.

"You're gonna be the death of me," he chokes out when you tighten around him again, almost involuntarily as your body craves more of him.

"Sorry, can't help it...we can stop if you want?" you ask softly, your eyes taking in his almost pained expression as he tries to hold himself back. Your hands come up to run your fingers through his long, dark hair in a comforting way.

"N-no, I'm fine..." But he doesn't look fine. He looks like he's holding himself back with every fiber of his being, and he is. He's so close to saying fuck it all and thrusting up into you anyway. After all, this has gotta be at least a half-sin, just being inside you. But he's convinced himself that his self-restraint counts for something, so he keeps still no matter how much his cock throbs and his body screams at him to move inside of you.

"You're just so warm. I mean, I figured you would be, but...just this feeling, you around me. You feel so amazing, angel, and I'm not even moving. If this is what it's like to be with a woman....no wonder men give into temptation."

If Suguru is being honest with himself, eventually he probably will too. Maybe not this time. But he's not sure either of you could take this sweet torture forever. Sinners deserve nothing but an eternity in hell, it's true. And yet...your beautiful eyes gazing down at him, filled with love and lust for him? Every flutter of your tight pussy around his hard, throbbing cock? Every breathy whimper and sigh that slips from your pretty mouth at the slightest shift of your hips? It all has Suguru beginning to think you might just be worth eternal damnation after all.

[mouseymilkovich]

Speechless | Carmy x Reader | Chapter Six

previous chapter | masterlist | playlist | pinterest board | next chapter

Chapter Summary: Now that you've lost your best friend, what else is there to lose? Turns out there's more you could lose— a lot more. All because you liked Carmy. Is there any coming back from this? | Carmy Berzatto x fem/afab reader (using they/them pronouns)

Content Tags: We all remember s01e07, very mean angry Carmy, mentions of Richie's butt stabbing (lol), mean reader, reader is sad as fuck

Important Info: (texting) pink = reader, purple = Marcus

Chapter Six: All Because I Liked A Boy

Word Count: 2.1k

"Get the fuck off my expo, chef, now! Get the fuck off!"

The words rang out as you entered The Beef, it took you a second to realize... Carmy was yelling at Sydney. He had to be yelling at Sydney.

You rushed over to the kitchen and all you saw was chaos. You'd come to apologize, to maybe make up with Syd before The Beef opened for the day. You brought the bracelet, you had thought long and hard about what you'd say to her. Everything fell out of your brain the moment you heard her response to Carmy's tantrum.

"I quit."

When she rushed past you out, you almost chased her— but you decided you needed to confront Carmy first.

"What the fuck is going on back here?!" You yelled, trying to get anybody's attention.

"Sydney fuckin' stabbed me, son of a bitch—" You heard Richie grumble through all the chaos.

"What— she what?!" You were in disbelief. Sydney would never do anything like that... on purpose.

"Why are you fucking with me— why are you fucking with me?! Get the fuck back to work! Move!" More angry yelling came from Carmy.

You stopped him in his tracks, staring him down into his bright blue eyes. "Carmy, what in the fuck is going on?!"

Carmy took a frustrated breath, trying to move past you but you blocked him. "She fucking left on the option for pre-ordering! Everything is fucking ballistic, okay?! Get the fuck out of the way!"

You tried not to take offense, he was obviously very stressed. "It was probably an accident, Carmy, please, she would never—"

"I'm not giving her special fucking treatment for making a stupid fucking mistake just because you're her best friend and a good fuck—"

At those words, you struck Carmy with a slap. That, you definitely took offense to. You took a sharp breath, looking angrily at him. "Fuck you! I never asked you to give her special treatment, but a stupid mistake and being stressed doesn't give you the right to act like such a fucking dick!"

He touched the cheek you'd slapped, rubbing it gently where a harsh red mark appeared. Then, he snapped back. "Yeah? Well, maybe us having this little fuckin' fling doesn't give you the right to tell me what to do!"

You let out a spiteful laugh. "Wow. That's all I am now, huh? A little fling. Got it!"

Little fling... little fling?! After all of those little moments, stolen kisses, nights spent together, "I miss you" and "I'm thinking of you" texts, the genuine affection you were starting to feel every time you looked at him before now... there was more than just the sex, at least to you. But apparently, not to him.

"You know what I meant—"

"I never should've started this shit with you. You are a fucking asshole manchild, you only give a fuck about yourself! I need to go get my best friend back." Your tone showed the anger you felt, you were absolutely seething. You were letting it get the better of you, you knew you shouldn't, but you couldn't stop the next words that came. "Fuck you, Carmen Berzatto, from the very fucking bottom of my heart."

Tears rolled down your cheeks as you left the restaurant. In a matter of days you'd lost your best friend, and now you just lost the guy you really liked and wanted something more with. You also lost The Beef— how could you go back there ever again after this?

All because of a spun out lie— all because you fell for Carmen Berzatto.

The music you had in your headphones didn't help, as the lyric rang out— "God, I wish that you'd thought this through, before I went and fell in love with you."

All you wanted to do was hole up in your apartment and cry— but there was no time for that. You needed to get your best friend back.

You showed up at the Adamus front door, the bracelet, yours and Sydney's favourite childhood ice cream, and a stuffed animal all on your person. You knocked on the door, silently begging that she wouldn't just slam the door in your face.

When Sydney opened the door, your eyes welled with tears once more. So did Sydney's when she saw you, realizing the fact that you'd already been crying by the mascara running down your cheeks— it almost reminded you of the first ever fight you'd had as kids.

"I'm so sorry, Syd. I'm so, so sorry." You whispered as you shared a hug.

"Me too... I shouldn't have freaked out like that—" She started, but you quickly cut her off.

"No. No, you had every right to. I kept something from you for no good reason... I was scared you'd be mad, I was scared things I was doing would affect how Carmy treated you at work..." You sighed, then grabbed Sydney's hands. "It snowballed too far out of my control, everything else overcomplicated the very simple fact that I should've just told you. I should've told you my feelings right from the get go, and I should've told you the first time it happened."

"I guess I turned a blind eye, too. I mean, I should've known something was up when you were drunk and asked for his number." Sydney muttered with a little laugh.

"Yeah, okay, I guess that one is on you." You laughed, then rolled your eyes. "But... I mean it. I really am sorry."

"I forgive you, I promise." She replied, then pulled you in for a tight hug. "Just... no more secrets, okay?"

"No more secrets." You nodded. "I guess that means I should tell you... I ended things with Carmy. He was acting like a fucking bitch."

"What? You didn't have to do that— I hope you didn't do that just for me." Sydney frowned.

"No... after you left, we got into an argument. And, frankly, no guy will ever be more important to me than our friendship." You sighed, rubbing your face before you shook out of it. "Hoes before bros, right?"

Sydney smiled a little bit, and nodded. "Hoes before bros."

You went inside and to the living room together, where you cracked open the ice cream and held two spoons to dig in. One of your shared favourite movies played on a streaming service on the TV, and you settled in for a girls day.

"Oh! I almost forgot—" You started, then took out the bracelet, holding it to Sydney. You were wearing your own, hoping she'd wanna put it on.

She smiled in response, holding out her wrist for you to put it on her. "I'm sorry I gave it back to you... I did it out of anger and... I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Syd, I understand. I'm just glad I get to give it to you again."

You two stayed snuggled comfortably on the couch for a while, playing different movies and finishing your ice cream. You felt pretty upset still, Carmy calling you a little fling had cut like a fucking knife.

"You okay?" Sydney asked softly, nudging you gently.

"Well... no. Not really." You sighed, looking at her.

"Wanna talk about it?" She asked, gently putting her arm around you for comfort.

"Carmy... called us just a little fling. Maybe it sounds stupid, but... I thought it was more. I felt something. It was more than just the sex... to me, at least." You sighed. "But I guess it wasn't to him."

"Fucking prick." Sydney grumbled, then hugged you tightly. "I'm sorry."

After another moment of silence, you remembered something else amidst the chaos at The Beef, and you had to ask—

"Did you actually stab Richie?"

Sydney groaned, which turned into a laugh as she grabbed the bridge of her nose. "Yeah. It was an accident... but he thinks it was on purpose cus I kinda threatened to stab him earlier in the day... I think he's also mad cus I stabbed him in the ass."

You laughed loudly, covering your face. "The ass?! Fuck, man. That's brutal."

Sydney laughed along with you. At least she could laugh about it now that she wasn't thrown into the intensity of the moment when it happened.

You watched more movies through to the evening, then Sydney made you both dinner. You'd kept your phone on silent, but even when you checked it, nothing from Carmy. You did, however, decide to text Marcus.

hey, i made up with syd. i hope you're doing okay by the way

thanks. i'm holding up... also glad to hear you made up with syd

Unsurprisingly, you spent the night with Sydney. Partially because you wanted to make up for lost time for blowing her off while with Carmy, and the few days you spent not talking... and partially because you didn't want to be alone.

Of course, Carmy haunted your dreams all fucking night. You couldn't escape it— his blue eyes, the way he spoke to you, the way he sounded during sex, being called a little fling. It looped in your mind, like a never-ending roller-coaster around your brain— like some kid purposely built it up in RollerCoaster Tycoon to torment you. It was torture. You hardly got any sleep.

In the morning, you awoke to the smell of Sydney making breakfast. You padded to the kitchen, yawning and stretching.

"Morning." She muttered, flipping your omelet onto a plate.

"Morning..." You muttered back, rubbing your face. "Did you make coffee?"

"Way ahead of you." She said, sliding a mug over to you, made just the way you liked it.

"You're a saint." You sighed dramatically, then smiled. "Have I mentioned I love you?"

After you indulged in breakfast, you two sat back on the couch. Something tugged at your thoughts, something you needed to ask.

"So, we officially need a new restaurant to make memories in." You stated, then continued when Syd gave you a confused look. "We lost The Beef. There's no way we can go back there now."

"Right." Syd muttered with a little laugh. "Well, uh, I dunno... let's worry about that after I find a new job, okay?"

"Right. That." You sighed. "Want me to help you update your resume?"

"Let's just... have a girls day today—" Sydney was interrupted by a knock at the door.

You both answered, each half heartedly wondering if it was Carmy, maybe coming to apologize, but you doubted it. Instead, it was Marcus.

"Shouldn't you be at work?" You asked, tone slightly teasing.

"Very funny." Marcus laughed. "Can I hang out?"

"Guess it's a girls plus Marcus day." Syd muttered with a little laugh.

"You can still call it a girls day. I'll be one of the girls for the day." Marcus joked.

Spending the day with Marcus and Sydney was pretty nice. It didn't completely take your mind off things— but it helped, at least a little bit. All three of you had been hurt, even if it was in different ways, it was nice to take the time to be together and heal, at least somewhat.

Sydney had been continuously testing her recipe for cola-braised short ribs— you and Marcus were equally eager to try them. She'd been talking about them for a while, and you knew she was disappointed when Carmy told her they weren't ready.

"Okay, try!" She hummed, pushing the plate across the counter to you and Marcus with two forks.

You and Marcus each took a fork, then dug in. As usual, you thought your best friend's creation was absolutely delicious.

"Killed it, as usual." You commented, then went in for another bite.

"Seriously, Syd, it's delicious." Marcus agreed. "Carmy's full of shit for saying this wasn't ready."

"Well, Carmy's a Michelin star chef." Sydney replied with a sigh, leaning against the counter. "But I'm glad you guys like it."

"You could be a Michelin star chef and you know it." You scoffed with an eye roll.

Sydney just smiled at you, but returned your eye roll too.

You cooked together, baked together, danced to music in the kitchen, watched more movies while indulging in the baked goods you'd made. It was nice to unwind, all three of you. At least, out of everything, you gained Marcus as a close friend, that had to be worth something, at least.

"Dad wants to take everybody out to dinner. He wants us to meet him. How about it?" Sydney asked as the three of you tidied up the kitchen.

"I'd love that." You nodded. You owed it to him, at least, since last time you'd got that invitation was when you and Sydney fought. "Marcus?"

"I'm down." Marcus chimed in as he dried the last dish.

You could only hope that Sydney would either let you spend the night again tonight, or she'd come sleep at your place, because the thought of being alone tonight tormented you. You just couldn't do it yet.

⋆ ˚｡ ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡ ⋆

tags ; @maggiesarchives @carmenberzattosgf @buendiabebeta @turtle-cant-communicate

wanna be tagged in any future speechless trilogy updates? leave 🫢 + an @ to tag in my askbox !

[anundyingfidelity]

NO SECOND CHANCES — Brother Day/Cleon XVII

Summary: A lonely space traveler happens to save from a certain death the most annoying person of the entire galaxy, the Emperor.

Pairing: Cleon XVII x female reader.

Word count: 8.1k. (oooops).

Warnings: well, spoilers for whole season 2. Language, angst (the reader wants to die, really). Talks about suicide, talks about suicide attempts, reader having nightmares, PTSD, reader is suffering too. Some hurt/comfort, some fluff? Filthy smut (included but not limited to hand jobs, unprotected sex, oral from both parts, dirty language, etc. etc.), and end of the world sex (to Beki's arsehole bitches yay🥂). Also Cleon refers to the reader as "woman" a couple of times lol. Reader has pierced ears? (wait for it). Bittersweet ending tbh.

Notes: just trying to make slow burn in a one shot because I'm a lazy fucker who doesn't like to write stories with chapters, otherwise I don't finish shit. Uh probably OOC Cleon??? I don't know. Fully inspired by my favorite trope ever: saving the bad guy and making him humble. I don't care we're four people watching Foundation, I need to write about this little piece of shit I love him so much. Cleon XVII is a himbo I said it. Not beta, we die like bitches of the Gossamer court.

☕ if you like my writing, support me with a ko-fi !

Tagging: @curiouswildi hope you like it 🥺💘

GEN MASTERLIST!

I. BEYOND

The last thing wandering his mind was Bel Riose. Fucking Bel Riose. That idiot. They had won over him; over him, who was Empire and still meant to be for years ahead. Next, the cold feeling of space was embracing him. But he felt he was not floating around anymore.

Cleon was tied to a surface. It felt like harsh, uncomfortable metal under his back. He slowly forced his eyes open, moving his limbs and trying to escape whatever it was restraining him to do so. His wrists and ankles, as his waist, were tied by a light blue particle field preventing the patient to move at all. He was met with the roof of a ship and equipment, but it wasn't any Imperial one. In panic, he moved until he was able to shake the surface he was on, panting and grunting, feeling some pain and sting resurging all over him. The headache was becoming unbearable and the sounds coming from his dry mouth finally transformed into screams. The room doors opened and a strange voice catched his attention.

"Finally, you're awake."

Cleon obliged to follow the shadow moving around, his eyes focusing to try and see who was talking. He heard steps and the sounds of metal and glass clinking around, probably looking for medication and tools as he was know fully concius. The figure finally came to view by his side.

"I will inject this, so don't move," you said, grabbing his bicep. Cleon was about to protest, but the needle was faster and the medicine was welcomed on his vurnerable system, easing the pain and calming down the headache. "Welcome back, Eminence," you smirked to him.

"And just so, who are you?" he asked chuckling to himself, licking his lips. "What have you done to me?"

"First, I saved your life and cleaned all your bloody wounds. You should say thanks at least," you sat down dangerously close by his side, on the same surface he was on.

"I did not ask you for mercy."

"Oh, but I did," you replied, a smirk on your lips. "Perhaps I shouldn't have, right?" you took a small pencil-like device in your hand from the pocket of your pants and used it to scan his vital signs. You touched his face carefully with your fingers, examining his eyes, his heartbeat, and any anomaly that might be on his system from head to toe, but the scanner found none. Cleon watched you doing so until he asked again, his voice softer this time.

"Who are you?"

"Just no one as important as you are," you said, saving the scanner back.

"Where are we?" Cleon asked, looking around. He observed he was placed in a small medical bay.

"In space, in the middle of nowhere I suppose," you shrugged, getting on your feet again. "It seems you're recovering quite well and fast. At least that's what my scanner says. So first, I think you should want some water, which I am leaving right here," you put a flask on the small table next to him. "And before I give you this to drink, I want to make sure you will not restrain or fight back at me."

He laughed, that narcissistic smile on his face. You wanted to punch him.

"You're no match for me, woman."

"Really? Then I could just throw you out there again, you know, it's not difficult. I'm spending resources on you, surely I won't oppose to that idea," you snapped back.

His smile faded slowly, thinking. If it wasn't for you, he would be dead by now, it was true. But he was so used to be immortal and undefeteable that the situation was kind of new. He only had been vulnerable and exposed to his doctors in the palace, and you were a complete stranger. And still, you had the heart to take him in your ship and save his life. He sighed, rolling his eyes to the ceiling.

"Fuck, fine. What do you want me to do?"

So this was his way of cooperating, you thought.

"After I turn off the restraints, you will have to sit down on the stretcher. I will help you. Do not try to get up yet, you might feel dizzy."

With a nod he said to you the orders were clear. Next, the restraints disappeared in the air with a push on a button and Cleon felt a small relief. As you promised, you helped him to sit and he realized that the clothes he had before were replaced with a set of new pale grey robes that allowed him to move freely. You offered the flask to his lips, but he watched you with a questioning look on his face.

"Is only water, I swear. See?" you had a small sip from the bottle and he looked more at ease after you swallowed the liquid.

You offered the bottle again and helped him to slowly drink. Once he was done, you placed a small tray with fruits and dry seeds on top of the same table beside the stretcher.

"You might want to eat something," you said, breaking the silence under his fixed gaze. Even when he was sitting down and you on your feet it felt rather intimidating. "I'm still collecting supplies and food. You were certainly not part of the plan these days."

"So you travel alone," Cleon said, taking a small red fruit between his fingers and began to eat it.

"I do," you nodded. "Sorry if the taste of the fruit is not pleasant."

"You're doing your best," he said while eating, studying the room around him. You were not sure if he was mocking you or not. "What was your name again?"

You chuckled. "You're very interesting, Empire. Why don't you finish eating and rest before taking a bath?"

The next few hours, you left him to rest and escorted him to your quaters, the only place with a comfortable bed, so he could get proper sleep. Since there were no further questions from him, you got to your business and requested more provisions to the merchants. Traveling alone had made you some contacts and traders, from time to time you would request for food giving in exchange money or rare knick knacks, and within a day you had a small capsule with supplements heading to your coordinates with everything you needed. You just had to wait for now.

After checking the estate of your ship and confirming everything was working correctly, you went back to your quaters to see how the Emperor was doing. You were startled to see him sitting on your bed with a book between his hands. He looked like he just had a bath because his shirt was gone and his hair was wet, some droplets running down his skin. Quickly, you studied him. He was handsome, muscular, his skin had a beautiful tan, and he was tall and heavy as hell, something you noticed when cleaning his wounds and taking him inside your ship. The earring on his left ear was also interesting, you thought, for a member of the most important dinasty of the galaxy. Very rebellious for the emperor.

You also knew he heard you steping in but never looked up from the book because he was the first one to talk.

"Never I could imagine you would have books in here," he said, clearly interested on the pages.

"Yeah, not all of us are barbarians as you work so hard to convice yourself we are."

He chuckled to himself, looking at you for the first time since you entered the room.

"Are you from Korell?"

"The book gave it away, didn't it."

"This is very old," he said, closing the book. "You are for sure not allowed to have this in Korell."

"That is one of the reasons I left," you replied, looking around the place. It was obvious to you that he was pearing within your personal stuff because the old myth book was secured down your mattress. At least he didn't leave a mess and everything seemed in the right place. "I was a threat in my planet so Argo kept looking for me for some conspiracy shit and terrorism when all I did was oppose myself to his repression and freakshow," you continued, his eyes drew back to you. "They wanted me dead in Korell, but I am the only one to decide that, even when and where will it happen."

Cleon shifted on his seat, wondering why you were sharing a piece of your life to him when he didn't even know your name yet. Words and thoughts wandered his head on how would he answer to your words, compassion or empathy sometimes were difficult things to feel. But before he was able to speak, you interrupted his thoughts.

"I will leave you alone to rest for a while and will come back when it's around supper. I follow Kornell cycle of time, so you know... Just don't poke around my underwear, Empire," you dragged his title mockingly.

He laughed softly, going back to his reading.

"Thank you for the idea."

That was the first time you would hear him expressing gratitude.

II. GHOSTS FROM THE PAST

Around more than a week passed, and Cleon was healing and his wounds were not so visible now. You made sure to inject him every day and gave your quaters and bed for him to sleep and recover. He had took a pad you had in the room so he could count the cycle of days in Trantor. Hardly to admit, he found himself missing home rather than hatred. Sometimes the rage mixed with sorrow, but he forced himself to try and understand that it was a normal feeling due to the sudden lose of everything he once had.

Cleon had been up from some time now as he counted the end of the eighth day on the pad, and wondered why your daily visit was taking so long. It was a habit you had, to come in and wake him up with the medicine, and after it was done, you would tell him to eat some of the fruits and food on the tray you brought for him. He got on his feet and put a shirt on before leaving the room to search for you. On the pilot cabin, you had an improvised, small stickable mattress on the wall that had saved your life before, so you used it to sleep and rest the past few days while he cured. Cleon observed your figure lying down on the mattress, walking slowly and sensing something was not right. He found you shaking and trembling, eyes still closed and chest heavily breathing as your hand held onto dear life what he realised it was a gun.

He felt somehow frightened and confused. If you wanted to kill him, you would already have done it. You had made yourself clear on that. The tremor of your body seemed it was increasing and Cleon, with a gentless he did not know he possesed, tried to soothe you with his voice, removing the gun from your embrace.

"Shh... everything is fine," he mumbled, not sure of his words, his other hand touching your shoulder in soft circles. He was able to withdraw the gun from your hands and placed it on the floating shelf near by.

Your eyes squeezed and some tears flowed down your face as you sobbed still in your sleep. Cleon hesitated on what to do next to wake you up. He leaned again, his hand slowly tracing the skin of your arm, like he did when his brother Dawn was a child.

"Woman? Wake up," he whispered, shaking you a little bit and pating your arm softly, and when he talked again, his voice was a little bit louder. "You're having a nightmare, wake up."

And as he repeated his words over and over, your eyes opened wide, feeling your lungs able to breath again. But your senses still were coming to awareness, and automatically you slapped the face of whoever it was touching your arm. You heard him groan in pain and you rolled over the mattres, until you hit the floor, taking out a small blade from below the makeshift pillow of fabrics you used. The blade pointing at him as you looked around the cabin to find out it was only both of you.

"What- are you okay?!" Cleon questioned with a frown, rubbing his hurting cheek as he remained on the other side of your bed, the only thing separating you from him was the mattress.

"Yes, I'm perfectly fine!"

He rolled his eyes in annoyance. "Of course you are not."

"Then why the fuck would you ask that?! It's obvious I'm not fine!" you yelled. Your body was tense and ready to attack. You felt a knot on your throat, like if you were to cry again. Silence envolved you, trying to calm down. That inner voice in your head began saying it was just a dream, and you wanted to believe it. It was all in your head. It was not real...

"Do you want to kill me?" Cleon's gloomy voice echoed.

"What? No! I would never-"

"Then why are you sleeping with a damn blaster shot and a blade on your bed?!" he confronted, screaming at you, but not daring to move as you also remained standing in the same place.

"Because I wanted to kill myself!" you yelled back, pointing the sharp of the knife to you instead. His face became stern and you realised what you had said, and what was happening. Ashamed, you threw the blade back under the pillow. "Sorry, I don't want you to know that. Forget it."

You wiped the tears on your face under his piercing and concerning eyes. You forced your head to compose and burry your nightmares and memories deep inside before talking.

"I have to inject you," you said and walked back to the room, sure he would follow behind. Once you crossed the doors, you prepared the needle but Cleon remained standing near the exit of your room the whole time, arms crossed over his chest, observing you with utter worry on his face. Why? He really did not know. Probably because you were the only human and intelligent contact he had for days now, and you had the decency to keep him alive. Though he was not going to let that in his head - yet.

"Why don't you seat?" you most likely ordered. Cleon slowly made his way to you and remained standing, tall and kind of threatening. He was Emperor, after all.

"What is wrong with you?" he asked with a careful tone.

"Nothing, Empire. Just sit," you said, coldly, waiting for him to do as you requested.

"No, I need to know," he demanded, coming closer to you, jaw clenching. Anger started taking over your being and held his gaze as you replied.

"I have the right to decide whether or not speak about my personal life, I am not one of your subjects, so sit the fuck down so I can give you the last dosis of this shit."

"I need to know if I can fucking trust you after what I just heard coming from your mouth," his voice boomed around the place.

"You really want to know?! Fine, back in Korell I lost my family, my brother, my parents, my home - everything I had they took it from me! I was the last one alive and I escaped after they killed my brother in front of me and that day is still haunting me," you muttered and felt the tears forming on your eyes, but this time, of rage. "So if it concerns your own well being, like it always has been, no, I will not kill you. But you are no Emperor here, so stop that game. Some of us never gave a fuck about you or the Empire, or the Foundation and Hari Seldon, or the Church of the Galactic Spirit -I don't care! I'm tired, I just want to be free and live peacefully!"

You had not noticed you stepped closer to him, feeling the heat radiating from his body. His face was blank, as if he had been slapped again, but this time to reality. A reality he was not familiar with on his own bubble.

Quickly you grabbed his bicep and injected the dosis with him standing up. He whined in surprise. It was fast. So fast that you just removed the needle from his flesh and left the room.

III. WHAT YOU REALLY KNOW

According to the Trantor cycle, evening should be now. When you left him alone in the room, Cleon spent the next hours by himself, and since he watched you looking up for garments and food around the ship before, he made sure to get those without speaking to you. Not that you wanted to talk either. He noticed you sitting on the main pilot seat, looking at the stars and the void through the glass the whole day. He got concerned for a moment, but decided to let you be as he, also, understood that some time alone was necessary.

However, Cleon thought to talk to you finally and say something. Anything to get you back to reality and forget your bad dreams. So he found himself making his way to sit on the other chair of the ship. He prepared the words to say inside his head, but it was more difficult to speak out loud.

"I think I owe you an apology," he finally said, taking in the view of space. You nodded slowly your head. Nobody turned to see each other.

"It's nothing. But apology accepted I guess."

"It's not nothing. I rarely thought about what other citizens and planets are going through... I'm so sorry it happened to you."

"I would like to say that was not your fault, but since the Empire withdrawal from Korell, living there definitely became so much worse," you confessed, very aware of the genetic dinasty and some of the things previous emperors did, which did not change much. They were the same man after all. Cloning again and again...

"Probably should apologise for that as well," he said.

"Yeah, it's too late, but thank you."

Cleon could still sense a feeling of resentment in your voice. He thought you were right to feel that way, but he was also going to try and make you understand him.

"I never had a mother, or a father, and my brothers are the same man as me, so it's hard to understand that some people lose their family and loved ones. I was born with that loss already... That's why I wanted to end the genetic dinasty."

"You are the eighteenth?" you asked, not knowing exactly why he was opening to you.

"The seventeenth."

"That's a lot of you though. Do you remember anything from the past?"

"I do not. But our memories are always saved. Everything that happens in Trantor is recorded and kept as data. If I want to know something about a previous Cleon, I would just request it."

You turned your gaze to finally see him, he looked in awe with space as he spoke.

"So what was your motive to destroy a planet?"

He turned his eyes to you. "I believe you didn't care about Empire or the Foundation."

"That doesn't mean I want to see a genocide, your Eminence."

Cleon stirred on his seat, with a strange feeling of guilt, sadness and regret. For some reason, the title falling off your lips made everything worse.

"You saw it," he said. "How? You're no part of the Foundation, at least you're lying to me."

"No, I am not! I did a stupid space jump without course and I ended here, unfortunately." You were growing tired of the conversation. "I don't know why we keep talking. We're both shitty people anyway."

Cleon chuckled, not to mock you, but because of the whole situation you were in together.

"I know you are. Brave enough to kill yourself, taking another life is nothing compared to your own."

You locked your gaze with his, thinking if he was he judging you or flattering you.

"And have you, like, tried to end with your life at some point? You must feel lonely, under the shadow of a clone, not allowing you to be, well, you."

He let out a deep breath, avoiding your eyes.

"I have not, but my genes are already compromised and adultered. No surprise if any of us dared to commit suicide before," he replied, looking to the void. "In any case, if something out of the ordinary is to happen to my brothers or myself, we have another clone with our same memories, same age, everything; prepared to be woken up and take our place. Like if we never existed."

"That's fucked up," you scoffed. "We are never trully free, are we."

You got on your feet to look up for something to eat and forget your small talk. You knew he had searched for fruits and dry food because you heard him moving around and then leaving a couple of times, but you had nothing through the whole day. Cleon followed your steps, leaving enough space between you both as you took a couple of apples, giving one to him.

"The jump, how did you do that?" he asked, taking a bite of the fruit. "You don't have spacers."

"The rebels are smart people. A lot of members of the Foundation replicated your technology."

"I thought you were not involved with them," he insisted.

"I am not, but I would never deny any help. That my support doesn't rely on them doesn't mean I will let a chance slide."

"You're not answering my question."

You pulled the sleeve of your shirt up to show your bare wrist to him. There was the same device Hober Mallow and the Clerics had, inserted on your skin.

"I use this.”

"This is a whisper ship," he mumbled.

"Smart. Yes, sort of."

Cleon scoffed. "So that means we can land somewhere."

"About that, uh, we can't."

He moved to throw the remainings of his fruit with a confused look. "Why?"

He heard your sigh as you covered your wrist again, looking away from his deep eyes.

"I- I threw myself to space because I wanted to kill myself," you started, avoiding his gaze. "I didn't care how long would take me, I just wanted to blow up my ship. Just end everything. But then I saw you, floating, dying... and for some reason I couldn't let you die. I didn't know who you were but I saved you. There's no energy or fuel to make another jump. I don't have that. We are far from what Terminus was now. From any planet, form of life or civilization... plus you are unarmed. You still are weak and anyone could kill you," you finished, and waiting for some reason that he could forgive you for giving him any sort of hope. "I'm sorry, Empire."

Beyond madness, Cleon felt you were worried for him. Not the kind of sentiment his brothers or palace workers would do, but a real one. Because you knew saving him was condemn him to death anyway. But this felt much better than dying alone. He had sins, past despiteful decisions and ghosts hunting him, as so were you. You just addressed your feelings and your life together in less than a day. And you were right, none of you were never trully free, but as crazy as it might be, being lost in space with you felt like freedom to him. Finally, he was far away from everything that was keeping chained to a life and responsibilities he never asked for, living under the shadow of an egotistical emperor.

There was a strong impulse growing inside him and before his rational voice began to scream it was a bad idea to continue, he had cupped your cheeks between his hands and his lips pressing hungrily against yours. You whined, surprised of the warm feeling of his mouth, his tongue hurriedly asking for permission to taste you. When oxygen was not enough you pulled away, shocked and panting. You barely noticed your hand around his forearm, recovering yourself from the best kiss you had in some time.

"Cleon," he whispered, kissing your lips one more time.

"What?"

"Just call me Cleon. I'm not Empire anymore."

You kissed him in response with the same eagerness he had before, heart beating strongly in your chest. His hands caressed every inch of your body, from your neck, breasts, your hips, your soft thighs, your ass... he touched you with desperate fire while you moaned against his mouth, liking where was this leading you, more than you wanted to admit.

That was the first time you gave in to him completely.

IV. TO LOVE AND TO BE LOVED

You moaned against his lips, those that forcefuly broke the heated kiss you shared as he ruts into you desperately to reach his own climax. His flesh hitting against yours made an obscene harmony that echoed the confines the ship, far from civil and coherent noises fell from his lips as he sucked into the skin of your neck.

"Fuck, yes, right there," a broken whimper escaped your throat, your nails scratching his back, your walls clenching around his cock. "Cleon..."

The sound of his name being moaned by your sweet, raspy voice, caused him to slow down his thrusts just a bit.

"I still don't know your name," he whispered, bitting your bottom lip only to kiss you wet again.

"And yet you're fucking me, isn't that enough?" you teased, rolling your hips to meet his own.

He gave you a smirk, that fucking handsome smirk you hated so much. He took you with his strong arms, flipping you around so he was now on his back and you got control on top of him. You sinked down his dick setting a reckless rhythm, his thrusts matching yours every time you went down, his grip hard on your waist, marking and bruising your skin. One of his hands massaged your bouncing breasts, one after the other, pinching and then, you felt his mouth biting your nipples and chest, as he leaned your body to him for easy access, with slow grunts and groans that didn't sound human anymore.

His cock repeatedly hit that sweet spot from the position you were taking him, increasing the tension inside you. The sensation of his hands coming back to your sides and making its way to your ass cheeks to guide your bouncing hips became too much so soon. You cried as you felt drunk and high, muscles tense as you finally came. Cleon held you tight, fucking into you as you reached sweet release. His tongue traveled down your collarbone and breasts.

"Cleon," you moaned, your hands on his chest to support your body better. You felt him twitch inside you, knowing he was dangerously close too. Quickly, you slid off him, taking his girth, slick with your own wetness, between your hand you pumped him hard, easing his own release. His seed coated your palm, sprinkling on his abdomen.

"Shit, you're great," he praised, voice dark from lust. His fingers tangled into your hair, his forehead against yours as you recovered from the intense sex session you had for the second time that day. He kissed you sweetly, like a sweetness he only had discovered in the short time with you. "I wish I could know your name."

"You can call me your savior," you gave him a playful smile.

After a shared lazy kiss, you got on your feet, legs still shaking, and left the bed to clean yourself in the small place you called bathroom right next to the only room of the ship. Once finished, you threw the cloth away, and looked directly the mirror, or poor attempt of it. In the damp glass, you watched Cleon appear to embrace your body against his, your back touching his chest muscles and his hands roamed your abdomen while he left butterfly kisses on your shoulder. His big arms around you, pressing your figure to his own, huge in comparison entrusting protection.

The nineteenth day it was, and you spent it exploring your pleassures, talking nonsense and overall for Cleon, thinking he might love you. The confinement had flourished different kinds of feelings and sentiments inside his heart. He finally learned to feel something else besides hatred, power, or selfishness. The more you spoke to him, the more he grew to like you. You were far from perfect and so was he, and the way you opened your heart to him - the man who was to wed a powerful queen, govern thrillions of people around the galaxy and kill a few others - caused him to feel unworthy of anything coming from you. The man he grew up to be slowly disappeared as long as you had him under your light and spirit; his old self was fading away. And it scared him, but excited him at the same time. Even when he was very aware you were near the end together, he had nothing to ask for but to perish with you.

"What's in your head?" you whispered.

Cleon had no longer been tasting the skin of your neck, his chin pressed on your shoulder instead with his mind running a million thoughts by now. He took a glance at the damp and dirty mirror of how perfect you looked, bare and exposed in body and soul, only for his eyes to witness the true beauty of being alive. Of being human.

"You."

A loving smile curled up on your lips, looking directly into his enamoured gaze through the mirror. He decided he wanted to remember you like this in the afterlife.

You finished marking the last spot with an 'x', a wide grin over your face.

"I won."

"Yet again," Cleon chuckled. His laugh had grew sincere with you as he settled on the floor on the cold floor of the pilot cabin, just giving enough space for the board between you and him. "And what is your question, person-I-not-know-the-name-of?"

You just had finished playing another round of a silly game. It was an old Terran game, and you were surprised it made it this far across the galaxy. It was good to pass the time though. It kept you and Cleon thinking about other things besides dying. The fuel and energy, along with the water, were lowering on their levels. Food on the other hand was not a worry, you knew you could request to the traders as long as energy was functioning to make communication with them. However, the energy of your ship had to be loaded in land, just like fuel. And you had no place to go now to do that.

Being together as long as you had the resources was the main goal now. So many things crossed your mind as you talked about everything and nothing at the same time the past days.

"Have you ever been in love?" you asked after some time thinking.

You thought maybe it was the first time in Cleon's life that he was finally able to think and behave on his own, with no burdens about a dinasty to protect or pleasing his council.

He was taken by surprise as you spoke. He immediately remembered Demerzel, his loyal advisor. His relationship was merely sexual, but there were no feelings that would assimilate to what love is in reality. For sure, his own clone should have been woken up by now with no further consequences. For Cleon, it felt like he was actually erased from existence forever. He was disposable, just like his brothers. But thinking about your question, his answer was no. He never knew what love was. Not from Demerzel, certainly not from Dusk, Dawn was slightly different though, he did love Dawn but not the way you were referring to. He never knew the love from a mother or a father, nor family. Sareth hated him, so even if they got to marry he knew there would be no space for such sentiment. His own future children with the Queen of Cloud Dominion would have grown up without an essential part of being human.

"No," Cleon finally gave an answer, his gaze went soft as he realised what you just became to him in a matter of days. "However I sense something different when I am with you. And I don't recall to know what that is."

You smiled. "Isolation tends to create adjustments in those who suffer it."

"And have you?" Cleon asked back. "Have you ever felt it before?"

"I did... With my parents, my brother, my best friends, and a couple of assholes who broke my heart."

He chuckled, admiring the charm you had to brush off the hardships in your life. You smiled back at him. Gods you loved seeing him like this, like if he was happy and nothing had happened.

"And how is it?" he said.

"It's affection, it's addictive, not everyone can escape from it. You feel like you belong somewhere, that your life is strangely complete," you mumbled, locking your gaze with his own. "And it hurts a lot. But as you go through that path, you get to know the most beautiful kind of pain."

"Does it hurt now?"

You swallowed hard, that familiar knot on your throat. You were not expecting to feel this way. Not for the Emperor, not for the clone, not for Cleon. Yet one does not control love. You don't decide to love someone without a reason. And what else could two lost souls do in the middle of the galaxy with no purpose but to wait and die? You had opened your deepest fears and secrets to him, not expecting Cleon doing exactly the same. He trusted you and you trusted him. You slept in the same bed, ate the same food and fruits, fucked like animals everyday and yet there was an emotional connection in between you thought would never know again after so many years. How could you not fall for him when everything was crumbling? Finally, you nodded your head, feeling the tears burning in your eyes.

"I always have been alone, Cleon, but my soul seems to have a little love to give. In the end, love is what makes us human."

Cleon put the board of the game away and leaned closer to you, his hand caressed your cheek, cleaning the tears falling down your face as he pressed his forehead with yours. He kissed you softly, swallowing your pain, as a way to say he was hurting too.

V. VOYAGE

It was the thirtieth day on the ship.

Your last try to get and land in any planet failed. As much as Cleon told you to stop, that everything was fine, you felt you had to keep trying until your last day. But the ship was basically to zero fuel and soon energy will follow. You used the control panel of the ship, hopefuly to find a near by land, but luck was not on your side. There was nothing. You don't know exactly how many miles you traveled with no course for a month. It was getting beyond bearing.

Frustrated, you pulled away the holo of the map and the calculations you did in the air, throwing a lose screw of your seat directly to the glass. It did nothing, but you were starting to hate the view of the stars and nothingness sorrounding.

"I told you to stop that," you listened to Cleon, who seemed just arrived to the pilot cabin.

"I had to try," you stood up, walking towards him. Your arms embraced his waist and he took you in with the same warmth.

"You're worried."

"I am not," you whined. "I should have sent for help with the merchants."

Cleon broke your hug and cupped your face between his hands, leaning closer to you.

"No, we should end this now," he whispered, his brows furrowed.

"No!"

"Why not? You wanted to do it even before you found me."

"Because now ending me is ending you too!"

Cleon felt your pain, but there was no other option to make than to blow up the ship anyway. Even if you were to land somewhere, what was for him? You were not able to go back home, and Cleon was discarded at this point. The throne could not have two of the same in the middle. Hiding and running away sounded like a good choice, but still, where? There was nothing left, but he found comfort with you.

"I am okay with this," he said. "I told you. You have to do it."

"Cleon-" you plea was cut by his voice.

"How much time do we have?"

"I don't know, a couple of days at last."

"Then do it. You said you were to decide when and how you would die, this is the time," he remembered with a stern voice. "Take it."

You let out a shaky breath and pushed him to press your lips to his own, like saying goodbye. But you still would not accept this fate. Not like this. You kissed him with hunger and need, your tongues tangled up as your mouths danced together.

"I just have- I can't yet," you mumbled once the kiss was over, leaving you both seeking for air. "Can we just fuck each others brains again and pretend none of this happened for a moment?" you asked against his lips, your hand now on his cheek, caressing the stubble on his face. You always remembered to help him shave and that was one of the most normal things you had to do since you found yourself confined with him. The most casual and mundane things to do became

He nodded. "Yes, my love.”

Cleon kissed your lips with the same hunger and desire, his hands caressing every inch of you until he lifted you up, your legs quickly went around his waist. With eyes closed, you let him guide you to the bar fixed against the wall of your ship.

He made sure to throw everything that was on the surface to the ground to place you in there. Once you were sitting, he pulled your legs apart to stand in the middle of them, and full with lust, his lips and teeth marked your neck and collarbone. You moaned sweetly, palming his groin still covered with the fabric of his pants. He traveled down your breasts, kissing over your shirt until he took it off. He was lucky you decided not to wear bra anymore. He sucked on your tits and nipples, grinding his hips against your hand.

You tried to pull his pants away, but he finished the job first, pulling away from your chest. After his pants were discarded, his shirt followed. He also got used to no underwear so he stood exposed all for you. A true god he was, looking perfect and like if every inch of his body was created for you to worship completely.

Cleon hurried in getting you out of your clothes, and in minutes you were naked and feeling his tongue dancing on your belly. His fingers and massive hands teasing your thighs, avoiding the place where you needed them the most. You moaned when he finally used a single digit to rub your slit, collecting your wetness. He rubbed your clit, mouth going slow and dangerously close to your pussy.

You laid your back on the bar and Cleon grabbed your thighs to have you exactly at the edge of the surface, ready to eat from your heat.

"Cleon," you cried out his name, your fingers tangled on his hair as his tongue licked your most sensitive parts.

He kept your hips in place, fucking you with his tongue and licking your folds, going to your clit. You couldn't help but whimper and moan, removing his hair to see just how much he yearned your cunt.

You tried to roll your hips but his grip was too strong. He looked up to lock his dark gaze with you, his humming creating strong vibrations down your core. He played some more, using a finger to tease your entrance. You were about to cum just by watching him.

"Cleon, please-" you gasped when he inserted a finger inside you, thrusting slowly. "Please, I want to taste you too."

He stopped, looking your flushed face for a moment. Your eyes were begging to suck him right now. He released your pussy with an obscene sound, pulling his tongue and hand away, but your wetness still shined on him. You got on the ground with his help and started to kneel down, kissing his skin, from his chest and then abdomen, licking and biting to leave your marks on his sculptured muscles. You made sure to adore and suck the skin of his navel, knowing he was insecure with not having a belly button. Still without it, he was more human than he could ever get to accept because you have seen that on him.

Cleon grunted once your hand wrapped around him, his hand on your scalp. You gave him a far from innocent look from your position before licking the head, rolling your tongue around it, lubing it with your saliva. His desperate groans led you to wrap your lips around him, pumping with your hand what you couldn't reach with your throat yet. You had to learn he was big for you, so a little of warm up for your mouth was a good start.

He cursed under his breath, thrusting his hips a little to go further, slowly, and you welcomed his cock with a small gag once he reached the back of your throat. He moaned darkly, your rubbed your thighs together when he started to fuck your mouth. Both his hands taking the sides of your head as you choked and gagged around his lenght. You felt him throbbing but he quickly pulled out, and left you empty and with drool falling from your lips, your pussy now aching and clenching around nothing.

"So beautiful," he purred, the touch on your scalp soft now. "But I want to finish inside you."

You nodded, obedient. Cleon helped you to sit down on the bar again, he stayed between your legs, spreading them wide, you held onto him, arms around his neck. He entered slowly, the warmth of your walls swallowing his cock, inch by inch, until it disappeared completely inside your dripping cunt.

You shivered, broken moans falling from your lips. Cleon muffled your low cries with kisses, waiting for you to get used to him.

"Fuck me, Cleon," you mumbled against his swollen lips.

He complied happily, thrusting and pounding into your heat, with a frenetic and brutal pace you had learn to love. You hid your face in the crook of his neck, yor nails scratching his arms and back. His cock touched all the right places inside you and he whispered sweet nothings into your skin, fucking you right under the light of the stars and the void of space.

He moaned along with you, wishing heaven or whatever it was after felt exactly like this. Like you, with your arms around him, your sweet voice calling his name lovingly and whimpering for more, giving your soul to him and only him. Your walls started to clench and his hips stuttered, aproaching a craving release. But in between, he heard a word against his ear you never mumbled before, turning his lustful eyes to you and slowing down his thrusts.

You repeated it again, he was visibly confused but kept ruting into you.

"My name," you said, fingers now caressing his hair.

He smiled. He knew it now. The stranger who saved him had a name after all. Cleon kissed you fiercely, repeating your name again and again between wet kisses. You were close to release, feeling one of his digits rubbing your clit as you moaned together. The wave of electricity took your body first, clenching your pussy around his cock. Cleon followed soon after, rhythm slow and tense muscles, until he spilled inside you, coating your sensitive cunt with his seed.

Catching your breath, you remained together. He sucked on your neck softly, your name was the only thought inside his mind. And as much as you loved his touch on you, you remembered there was something to do still.

"Cleon," you called, getting his attention and feeling he was pulling out of you with a low groan. He looked at you with loving eyes and you smiled. You brushed his hair with your fingers pulling him to yet another smooth kiss. "It's time."

He knew it was. In silence his fingers found his earring, twitsting it and pulling it apart. He took it from his ear and placed it on yours carefully. You were always amazed at his touch, how rough and yet soft and gentle he could be.

"So you can remember me," he smiled when he was over. You let out a laugh and curved your llps in a grin. "It suits you."

"Thanks, Cleon."

Cleon leaned down to kiss you one more time before cleaning both of you. You dressed together as if you were not about to meet finally death. For some reason, you saved everything that was not on their cabinets or initial positions, packing all you could, like if you could take those belongings with you, most of which were from your family. One day Cleon asked why you had clothes that could meet his height, being taller than a lot of people around. You told him it was from your best friend. You thought every piece of clothes or souvenirs would help someday, but it never crossed your mind that it was going to be this way.

When everything was was done, you and Cleon settled in front of the control panel, however, before you could start the holo, a loud explosion could be heard. You frowned, turning to Cleon.

"Did you-? Ah!"

The ship almost overturned as something heavy hit the side, making you trip and fall over with Cleon on the ground. Again, an explosion was heard, far from the ship but clear enough to say it was getting closer, and seconds later, the ship got hit but this time on the glass, almost breaking it over. Quickly, you both stood up and saw what was happening.

"A black hole..."

"Look, there are debris around," you pointed a huge piece that looked the size of your ship, but that definitely was part of a much bigger one. You saw the debris and metal being swallowed and destroyed by the black hole. It wasn't pacing fast, but wasn't slow either. It looked like it was talking its time for much bigger things to eat, such as your ship. Cleon called you, taking your hands and pressing his forehead to yours. You could feel he was shaking, and your skin grew cold. You realised it was really happening now.

"Do it," he said. "Destroy the ship."

After a moment of hesitation, you gave a nod. He kissed you deeply again. You turned the holo to activate the ship and program its own destruction.

"Self-destruction mechanism activated," the computer confirmed.

"We have sixty seconds," you mumbled, tears already forming in your eyes. He cut you off with a kiss. You would miss those warm lips on yours.

"That's enough for me," he said. You smiled and he did the same.

"I love you, Cleon," you embraced his body with a hug. "I am happy I met this kind of pain with you."

He cupped your cheeks, pecking your lips, smiling down at you, saying I love you too. You, the one who saved him and gave him a second chance. Or at least a moment of relief. A place and a person who allowed him to be himself and find things he never knew would have.

"We have more in common now," he whispered. "We are both alone and hurting somewhere in the galaxy.”

[daydreamsandcrashingwaves]

Keeping It Close To The Chest Pt. 3

TW/CW: Medical Trauma/ torture, medical experimentation, ptsd and flashback type stuff, vivisection wound, Brief suicide attempt with a blade, (If you wanna skip that part it's bordered by '~~'), child abuse, emotional distress, more Danny whump, hurt/comfort- just a lil comfort at the end lol

As always if I missed a tag please let me know! I want anyone who wants to read my writing be informed so they can make the best decisions for themselves. Be kind to yourselves and be safe.

Hey! Here's part three! I'm considering posting this to Ao3! If I do I'll probably edit each part a bit. I hope you all enjoy my humble offering! I'll let ya all know if I do! If you missed them, Part one Part Two

Much love to you all

~Ren

Danny didn't recognize where he woke up. He could smell antiseptic in the air in combination with the white walls and sheets made him uneasy. Last time he could bare to look they hadn't bothered to clean up his splattered ectoplasm, all the white was abnormal. Bandages, sheets, walls, floor, ceiling they all looked eerily familiar. He could still feel their hands digging inside him. Panic thrummed through his core- the lab, they have him back in the lab-he wrenches at the restraints the scientists had put on him, only for them to be missing.

With no resistance his body crashes to the ground next to the bed he was on with his legs twisted into the sheets. Danny flails his legs to free himself. The deep ache of his wounds pulls him forcefully from the swirling green noxious clouds that fill his head. His parents had never left him without something holding him exactly as they left him. Ready and waiting for their next experiment. His core sinks somewhere around his guts from the thought. Unrestrained. They left him unrestrained; he looks at his bare arms in reluctant wonder.

The knowledge doesn't soothe him at all, they'd return soon. One look at him would make it obvious to them that he was in no shape to run again. Run he has to run. Anxiety and uncertainty made his powers spike and the lights blow above him. The temperature drops around him and he settles for a moment. At least he had access to his powers even if he feels like he'd have to use far much more energy than normal to use even his invisibility.

His par- Maddie and Jack had made the table out of antighost material that kept him from phasing out of the straps, but it was the dried blood blossoms in the vents that had weakened him, his powers slipped through his fingers, out of reach until the hail Mary last ditch effort explosion from his core that had frozen them where they stood. Danny swung his head to look at the.. simple comfy looking bed he had been resting on. Why would they-

Footsteps pound towards where he is, a shadow in the doorway. Fuck, they were back. Whenever they visited it hurt. Jack and Maddie were creative in their experiments, each one brought Danny more agony. Brought Danny closer to a full death. If he couldn't keep them from finding his core again, he really would be dead. His core pulsed, memories pushed themselves to the forefront of his mind.

They touched it, a glove shouldn't hurt like it did, what did they do what did they do to him did they not see they were killing him. He's alive, he's here, he's their son whywhywhy. Jack's comforting bulk turned to cheerful aggression and brute strength used to hurt him; Danny misses his firm embrace, the hate on Maddie's face tore Danny up inside, to see how her face went from deep love to the equally strong opposite was heartbreaking. She once threw herself at Vlad's experiments in that damned forest, her marital arts training had amazed him. She frightens him now, they frighten him now. To use such brutality against their son, she had broken bones, flung him so easily once she had gotten ahold of him. How awful it was to have not one reaction to his pleas- mom please you're hurting me, please it hurtsithurtsyourehurtingmeYOUREGONNAKILLME!

Danny can still hear his own screams playing in his head.

Tension fills Danny's frame sending more shockwaves across his injuries, the brain fog making it harder to figure out who was on the doorstep. He struggled to get to his knees in preparation. If the Drs Fenton were gonna do Frog Dissection 2: Ghostboy Edition he wasn't going to be compliant, even if Danny felt like he wouldn't be able to fight them off for very long at all. Hope that they would come to their senses would cost him dearly. A light flicked on outside the doorway, illuminating... his older brother. Damian Al Ghul, stared back at him.

Danny jolted, he vaguely remembered he popped out of a portal basically on top of his twin, right? His memories are all jumbled. Danny raised a shaky hand to his head, the beginnings of a migraine building. Did he lose his bags? His dagger? Danny didn't dare turn away from the predator in front of him to look. That was how many foolish people during the twin's training lost their lives. How weak was he that he let himself be caught when he could've at least tried to fly away? In some ways this was worse than being caught by his adoptive parents again. Damian was an unknown after all these years, even if part of him wants to cling to his cape and beg for just a days rest before they send him wherever they were planning to.

Damian may be here on a mission, or if he truly did escape the League maybe he wanted to send Danny back in his place so he could remain away from Grandfather's clutches. Danny knows just how persistent the Demon Head could be. Damian had always been the superior heir, but if Mother had been sending... clones? That's what he had said earlier, if Danny could remember correctly. Clones sent to Damian. It was a last resort to claim him and bring him home. Or replace him with the clone that won, he shivers thinking of Vlad.

Would Vlad go for the superior twin if he knew of Damian? That was a meeting Danny wanted to avoid, not that Damian would comply with any of the Fruitloop's plans. Danny paled at the thought, Damian surely would kill Vlad if he tried, then only Plasimus would remain. As of now his human half was the only reason the older halfa wasn't more than a nuisance. What a nightmare a fully ghost Vlad would be. Danny never would've stayed in Amity if he knew the trouble he'd get himself into. Danny was always just the spare. There to take orders, nothing more. His life and death was up to Grandfather. Not even lazarus water was allowed to someone worthless. No need for him beyond the worst case scenario, but held onto until the heir could claim his place.

The domino mask was gone revealing those emerald eyes he's missed for so long, but he still was wearing what he was earlier, Danny can see his blood smears from here. Danny tried to guess what Damian was thinking so hard about but other than his furrowed brows, his twin gave nothing away. In a sick way it made him proud his elder brother hadn't lost his edge.

Danny remained silent as his brother panted into the dark between them. He had to wait to be acknowledged. If he broke this tentative peace there is no telling when the orders would start. Slipping so easily into his League training made Danny bite his cheek to avoid the frown that would take place. Emotion will do him no favors here, even if truly hiding what he was feeling was next to impossible under Damian's gaze. Danny watched as Damian watched him. Damian telegraphed his movements slowly so Danny could see his hands and what they were doing. He had started palming his hidden blades and dropping them carelessly to the floor. Danny's eyes grew wide at the sight.

Damian... he didn't do careless, his every move deliberate and well thought out. This must be something meant to throw him off, make him lower his guard. His elder brother would also never just throw his weapons around unless it was at a target. Perhaps he doesn't need them. Perhaps he wants to kill Danny with his own hands or perhaps he thinks Danny won't resist his order to return. (In this moment Danny couldn't resist anything Damian wanted to do to him, even if he wanted to. He could be shipped back to Grandfather in Damian's stead.) Danny clenched the disheveled sheets in his hands, if he had to take on his twin every advantage he could get. Danny would need.

Looking back to the door, Damian has a small but impressive pile scattered behind him, one last dagger is carefully held in his hands. They're trembling slightly, Danny would have missed it, should have missed it, but he remembered far much more of his past than he ever let on with the Fentons. Danny figured amnesia is a great excuse to not answer their questions on how he got to be alone in Amity Park or where his family was, how he got left behind. The Damian here confused him. Disarming himself, openly trembling- nothing like the brother he remembers.

(They were the same size, but Damian always seemed bigger, his shoulders meant to hold more, the League, Grandfather's expectations and Mother's indifference, Danny and his string of failures, he only ended up holding the heir back. Damian's arms always open to curl up in after Danyal's frequent punishments. A weakness, Mother had said when she caught them, she had ripped Danny from his brother's arms and had mercilessly beaten him until he couldn't move for his audacity, all while Damian watched blank faced. When they were once again alone Damian had whispered apologies while helping the younger clean and bandage himself. Danny had insisted on doing the same for Damian- he had clenched his hands so tightly into fights behind his back that he had a perfect set of bloody nail marks from holding himself back from intervening as he stood at attention nearby- before they slipped into their beds. There would be no sharing tonight, not when Mother would surely check on them to make sure Danny didn't continue to tear Dami down. His elder brother had hummed a soft tune though that Danny fell asleep to. But no, Danny can't be sure that part of Damian still exists, he can't risk the world for his selfish desire to stay by his brother's side. Ra's Al Ghul could never find out just what kind of power Danyal gained via the portal and Phantom in his absence from Ra's watchful eye.)

Damian looks awfully small to Danny now, curled into himself by the door. He sheaths the dagger and gently sets this one on the ground in front of him before he sends it straight to Danny with a perfect kick. Danny snatches it up quickly, he won't look a gift horse in the mouth.

"Danyal..." Damian seems to crumple under the weight of his name, he looks... lost. He clears his throat, goes to say something but clears it again instead. His brother has always been confident. This uncertainty Danny feels zipping between them keeps him on edge. "Ahki please you are hurt, can I help you back to bed?"

Tears. Those are tears falling down his brother's face. Danyal can only stare. Damian had only cried with Danyal a few times in the League, on that rooftop with the stars. Something about how since Damian was older he had to be strong, strong for Danyal, strong in the face of Grandfather.

"I won't go back." Danny rasps painfully slipping into their mother tongue, "I'm sorry Dami I won't go back. Not even for you." Danny thinks he popped some of the stitches holding his chest together under the bandages when he dove to the floor. His shirt feels wet, his blood would quickly eat at the stitches now that he's actively bleeding again. Better to die here, this way, then go back to-

Danny raises his hand.

~~

"Ahki! No!" Damian cries out desperately, he feels his face twist in horror as dim lights blink into existence under the cabinets. Damian had thought a blade in hand would make Danny feel safer, less vulnerable for their second meeting if he had something to defend himself with. The image his brother makes on the floor was something he never could've imagined happening.

Damian was going to be sick. Danny had always been a joyful and stubborn presence by his side. Not even in the throws of their harsh childhood did he ever give up, ever give in.

Fear almost stops his heart from beating before it stubbornly restarts hard enough for his chest to ache. The dagger Damian had relinquished to Danny was pressed lightly to his own throat by a shaky hand. Damian's exclamation caused Danyal's hand to press a bit too hard, red blood dripped down the side of his neck. Danny looked at him almost hypnotized by Damian's extreme distress at what the light revealed, he didn't recognize the blur of movement towards him in time to react. Damian's hand covers his own wrenching the blade away.

When he found out who broke down his baby brother to such a degree that he felt he had to turn his blade on himself, well, Father's rules be damned, Damian would make them beg for death before claiming their pathetic life. It would be good to remind others of what the Demon Heir was capable of if he deemed it worth his time. Worth crossing Batman and his no killing rule. Danyal was worth everything to Damian.

~~

Danyal is shaking like a leaf in front of him and Damian aches to reach out to his baby brother, yet he doesn't want to force contact. If Danny felt cornered he could spook and hurt himself more trying to get away from Damian and that is the last thing he wants. "There is no need for that here Danyal. I'm sorry Danny, I'm so sorry you've been alone," He chokes out, the Arabic heavy in his mouth, "it will be alright you're- you're Ahki won't let anyone force you to do anything. I'll protect you, I promise."

Damian can see comprehension spread across that scary blank face his twin had been making. It trembles and breaks as tears gather in the corner of Danny's eyes. Danny's hands grip his arm harshly, Damian doesn't correct him. A bruise is a small price to pay for his twin's comfort. Even back in the League Damian never lied to Danny, had always, always, kept his promises. Those tears fall.

Danny wails as Damian pulls him tightly to his chest, he can't hide how he pats Danyal down to check for more weapons. Richard hovers outside the room but Damian knows he's hesitant to insert himself into the situation and have the potential for Danny to act unpredictably again. How astute of him, Damian is relieved at his brother's emotional intelligence. Damian keeps repeating his words over and over while rocking them. Danny obviously doesn't want to settle into it but can't seem to help it. Twins together for the first time in almost a decade, Damian doesn't hide his hitching breaths as they cry together. Damain never wants him to let go.

"I can't stay Ahki, I can't!" Danny sobs, pulling back until his brother can see his face, "Grandfather will- he'll- I'm a walking weapon!" Danny blubbers and tries to get a breath to explain because his brother had always at least let Danny say his argument in the past but ends up coughing until it turns into a whine. His body hurts. His Y incision burns like his- Maddie and Jack- are freshly cutting into him and he just wants this moment to last but knowing they're on borrowed time makes Danny curl closer. His face is pressed to Damian's chest, somehow Damian had moved them, Damian's back rested against the bed while Danny was cradled in his lap. Soothing circles were traced onto his back, something had changed in Damian's demeaner but without looking at his face Danny could only guess what that meant.

His cries slowly petered out in the face of his brother's steady comfort and Danny could feel his body go boneless in Dami's hold. His elder brother's murmurs weren't hidden by his cries so he could finally hear what was being said,

"I've been with Father for five years, I, too will never go back to the League. Ra's is dead, I promise you. Dead and locked away so he can not get revived in the Pits. He will never darken our doorstep, he's dead and Talia knows if she comes here, she will meet a similar fate, Danyal it's going to be okay. We're okay now. We have family who will help. I won't leave you alone again."

Over and over again, Damian's voice full of confidence and vitriol but he keeps his hold loose. Damian had always respected Grandfather and his influence, Danny wasn't sure what to think hearing his brother speak Grandfather's name. Danny had known that awful day the twins were pitted against each other that once the spare died there would be no escape from the League for Damian. If what he says is true... Damian did escape, has been safe with their Father for years.

Exhaustion slams into him, Danny feels... safe. The safety he so desperately needed is here in his grasp and he's terrified of it disappearing, being false. "Dami-"

"Hush Ahki, just breathe, we will talk later." Damian uses his sleeve to clean Danny's face, the gentle swipes make more tears sprint to his eyes, but his brother is patient, content to clean him up. Danny opens his mouth to protest, but Damian gently shushes him. Damian shifts their bodies to move them back to the bed, but Danny reacts like Damian is getting ready to leave, leave him here in this strange new place, scared and alone. (Some part of Danny snaps back at the thought, Damian never had gone back on his word before. Not once, that was a miracle considering their childhood.) Danny's hand snaps out to grab his twin's wrist on instinct. Don't go please. Don't go, I don't want to be alone.

Damian's face softens out of it's natural neutrality, his mouth twisting into a small smile. His real smile, the one reserved only for Danny. "The floor is dirty Danyal and I need to check your stitches, let's get you back in bed." Damian chuckles quietly at the apprehensive look shot his way. Danny was always an open book, at least to Damian. "I'll stay with you, come."

Damian shifts them as carefully as he can only to abruptly stop when Danyal's hand flies to his chest on a gasp. Danny can see Damian biting his cheek and glancing from him to the door out of the corner of his eye before he straightens a bit decision made.

"Richard, I know you are still there," It's said with a sigh but he knows that tone, his brother is grateful. A black-haired man pokes his head warily into the room to look at them.

"Little D! Can I help with anything?" Despite his caution Richard is beaming at them from his spot by the door. Danny grew tense in Damian's arms at the new arrival, but thankfully, luckily, he didn't try to run.

"Tt. Tell Pennyworth I may need his assistance, Danyal potentially pulled his stitches." Richard's face rapidly paled, his gaze swinging to his youngest brother trying to see if blood was leaking through his bandages. Damian was certain Richard would be grateful for Superman's x-ray vision right now by how hard he was staring at Danyal.

Though Richard meant well Damian felt his irritation rise when he feels Danyal curl further into him, trembling hands gripping the life out of his suit. As he resumes rubbing Danyal's back he starts whispering again in Arabic, careful to keep his words between them. Damian is sure an audience isn't helping Danny relax. Damian draws his focus the best he can away from their buffoon of an eldest brother.

Richard lingers in the doorway so without turning to look Damian flicks his wrist and the blade Danyal was ready to use against himself sails true, embedding itself a hair's width away from Richard's hand on the doorframe. "Now Grayson." He growls. Then they are alone. Damian hides a smirk in his twin's hair, before frowning. Danyal would feel better if he was clean, if his hair is anything to go by Danyal hasn't had a bath in a long time. That is where Damian could start. Until he could have a talk with his twin and figure out what he was so terrified of he'd threaten his own life... this would have to do. He's sure that Alfred has some supplies stored in the recovery room. Damian put a tub in the sink to fill with warm water while he grabbed what he needed.

With a brief explanation Danny pouted but hesitantly let Damian lower him so his head was mostly hanging off the foot of the bed. He pulled a chair over and got to work. The first wash was to get the majority of the dirt, blood, and sweat out. After he rinsed the first shampoo out Damian took his time with the rest. Fingers worked through knots and a bit of pressure here and there had Danyal melting in his hands. Truly relaxing for the first time in what was probably a long time. Damian smiled softly. The boy looked to be dozing now, both content to remain like this for a while longer.

From the door Alfred waved Dick off, it had been a long night and Bruce's eldest certainly needed rest. Looking back at the two blood siblings Alfred was sure the immediate danger had passed. He was content to leave them to bask in eachother's presence for a little while longer before he checked on the youngest master's stitches.

Part four

[diazsdimples]

WIP Wednesday

Look at me posting two days in a row! The beans are slowly returning from their disappearance, I can feel it!

This snippet of Frostpunk AU is a little longer and I probably shouldn't be sharing all of it because remaining mysterious and all that, but fuck it. I'm just proud of myself for having written something lol.

There’s a slight rustle as his tent flaps are pulled back, and Buck’s legs jostle as a weight sinks onto the end his bed, a firm hand curling around his shin. “Hey Bobby,” Buck croaks, his voice rough and frayed, like a well worn piece of material. “Hey kid. You doing okay?” Buck opens his eyes and is met with the warm, brown eyes of his adopted father, full of care and concern. Bobby cocks his head, waiting for a response. “No,” Buck says quietly, and he rolls onto his side, curling his legs up towards his body. He wraps his arms around his knees and lets out a shaky sigh. “No, I’m not, but I don’t know why. I can’t get them out of my head, Bobby! Why can’t I let them go?” He angles his head up towards Bobby, looking at him with pleading eyes, and Bobby sighs, moving to stretch himself beside Buck. It’s reminiscent of when he was younger and was plagued with nightmares. Bobby would bring Buck into his and Athena’s bed and the small boy would cling to Bobby’s chest as he whispered stories into Buck’s hair, until the trembling stopped, and his breathing evened out. “I never did tell you how I found you and Maddie, did I? You were so young, I wasn’t sure if you remembered…” Bobby says, shifting beside Buck as he gets into a comfortable position. His muscles must be in a similar state to Buck’s if not worse, so it’s any wonder it takes him a moment to settle. “C’mere.” Buck turns, his body relaxing as he sees Bobby’s outstretched arm, and he settles into his father’s side, head resting against his chest, just like the old days. “I understand how you’re feeling,” Bobby begins, his hand skimming up Buck’s arm as he squeezes him closer. “We never meant to find you and Maddie. I was out on a scouting mission with Athena, and we were looking for my fa– for some people who were lost in a storm. We’d barely made it a day out of the city before we found you two.” Bobby shivers, as though the memory were transporting him back in time. For Buck, he has flashes of his childhood before Sector 118, small moments of discomfort as he remembers harsh words, cold looks, and lonely nights. He nods, signalling for Bobby to continue. “We found you two wrapped up together. Maddie had tried to dig you into a drift to conserve heat but had gotten too tired, so she’d stopped. If we hadn’t found you –“ Bobby’s voice breaks and his grip on Buck’s shoulders tighten, pulling him in closer. Buck lets out a small noise in the back of his throat and allows Bobby to pull him in, chin digging into the top of Buck’s head. They lie there, both shaking slightly as Bobby relives the past and Buck fears for the future. Bobby takes a deep breath before he finally continues. “I didn’t leave your bedside for a week. Athena had to drag me away to eat. I barely slept. You were just some kid I’d rescued, but for some reason I couldn’t leave you. Either of you”   Bobby hums out a small laugh and Buck feels it reverberate through his chest, reminding him of how Bobby used to laugh as Buck would try and tickle him after he’d calmed down from his nightmares. It’s oddly comforting. “So I know exactly what you’re going through. There’s no rhyme or reason for it, Buck. You just have to let yourself feel it. Be there for them. We’ll all support you.”

No pressure tagging @theotherbuckley @hippolotamus @watchyourbuck @puppyboybuckley @daffi-990 @exhuastedpigeon @disasterbuckdiaz @spotsandsocks @rainbow-nerdss @wildlife4life @buckbuckgoose @bucksbackwardcap @evanbegins @cal-daisies-and-briars @fortheloveofbuddie @spagheddiediaz @steadfastsaturnsrings @loserdiaz @giddyupbuck @aroeddiediaz @jesuisici33 @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @kitteneddiediaz @elvensorceress @thekristen999 @actuallyitsellie @wikiangela @smilingbuckley @epicbuddieficrecs @underwater-ninja-13 @shortsighted-owl @loveyouanyway

[good-beans]

I think one of my favorite Fuuta moments is in Braze You when Es reads right fucking through him and spells out the very core of his character:

That's such a precise observation!! Any normal person would be annoyed/amazed/ashamed in response! You would expect the fiery type character to start yelling out denials and insisting Es isn't some psychologist or anything. But Fuuta. Fuuta my beloved. After someone points out that he jumps to violence as a coping mechanism, he proceeds to drop his voice real low and threatening, and say

Just completely ignores every word they said and proves them right in a single instant...

And lol wait I was gonna leave this in the tags but genuinely this is a major reference point for characterizing him to me. of course the irony is hilarious and he says it so seriously it cracks me up. But also, this is exactly how simple and flawed his emotional reactions are. He really only has one go-to when he feels threatened, and it's to lash out with violence. The threat doesn't even have to be physical danger -- in this case the threat was just an emotional one. Es' comments made him feel exposed and brought to light something that he's ashamed of. Instead of processing these feelings and countering Es' point, he immediately attempts to prove his physical strength, which was never called into question. But to him physical strength/taking action is The Way to show courage and righteousness.

And this isn't just a selfish way of protecting himself -- this is how he protects others, too. He said he wanted to be everyone's representative after Es was violent with Yuno, so to avenge her he tried to take action. In his timeline with Kazui they talk about whether you should wait and observe a dangerous situation before jumping in, or charging in guns blazing without knowing the full situation. At first, Fuuta's response seems blatantly stupid, because of COURSE you shouldn't just charge into danger like that. But the way he describes it, he says, "Everyone's life is on the line. those who can fight should." He probably knows it's not the super intelligent method, but he still thinks its the only option to save those people! To him, action is the only way heroes save lives. Action is how justice gets done. Action is courage. And that's just so central to his character and explains a lot about all his behaviors in and out of Milgram...

[ginnsbaker]

In Losing Grip On Sinking Ships (19/23)

Chapter summary: "A person can love you with all their heart and not be any good at it."

Chapter word count: 7.5k+ | Tags: Angst, Therapy, Healing, Comfort, Fluff | Ship: Wanda x Female Reader

Author's note: Heavy on therapy. Some deep seated resentment surfacing. Kinda filler (lol 7k filler) but necessary :D Enjoy!

Masterlist 

Next part : Twenty

--

Nineteen

You storm out of Calliope's office, slamming the door behind you.

Behind that door, you can hear Wanda’s sharp, erratic breaths.

You can hear your heart pounding loudly in your chest.

Gradually, you regain control, your hand subconsciously moving up to wipe the saliva that had gathered at the corner of your mouth during the intense altercation you had just walked out of.

The frustration continues to boil within you, and you rest your forehead against the cool wall. You feel the irrational urge to bang your head against something hard, maybe even induce amnesia, if only to escape the memory of the details that sent you out here in the hallway.

This first session is leaving you as winded as a boxer who's just fought through all twelve grueling rounds. You'd assumed that first sessions would be gentle, akin to cautiously dipping a toe in to test the water. But when it comes to Wanda, it's never that simple. You both have a tendency to plunge headlong into the deep end. 

To be fair, Calliope was steering the conversation, posing questions and guiding the discourse. Since Wanda's infidelity and your struggle to rebuild trust form the core of your issues, it's almost expected that Calliope would probe into the beginnings of Wanda's affair with Vision.

Wanda dutifully chronicled her indiscretions with a man that’s nearly a decade younger than her, with most of the narrative making your ears burn with new information. Before you could rein in your emotions, you found yourself hurling intimate questions such as, “Did you enjoy sleeping with him?” and “Was he a better fuck?” Wanda appeared too taken aback to respond to your interrogations as Calliope merely observed quietly, gauging whether Wanda was ready to answer your questions honestly.

Her growing silence at your pointed questions only stoked your jealousy and rage, to the point that you almost called her a whore. 

And that's how you ended up here, leaning against the wall, thumping your forehead against the rough concrete, chiding yourself for almost crossing a line with the woman you're supposed to be reconciling with.

Slowly, you push yourself off the wall, the chill of the concrete replaced by a hot surge of shame and regret. You clench and unclench your fists, trying to expel the energy that had driven you to the edge just minutes before. You need to find your balance again. You need to breathe. 

Most of all, you need to apologize.

Despite the gnawing pit in your stomach, you drag your feet back to Calliope’s office.

You exhale a shaky breath before knocking softly on the door. “May I... May I come in?" you ask, your hand hovering over the knob.

The response comes from Calliope, a simple “Come in,” that is gentle–probably something you don’t deserve at this moment. You open the door to find Wanda huddled at the far end of the couch, looking terrified. Her eyes are red-rimmed, and her fingers clutch a tissue to her face. 

Guilt, fear, and anxiety, all clearly visible in her demeanor. The sight of her in such a state increases your shame tenfold.

Regret has your gaze anchored to your shoes as you utter your apology. You're not yet ready to claim your previous seat on the couch, not without knowing if it's okay. “I'm sorry,” you whisper to Wanda. “I didn't mean to...I shouldn't have...I lost control, and that's on me. I had no right to speak to you like that.”

Calliope offers you a small smile and gestures for you to take your previous seat. Then, she signals towards the spot you previously occupied, an unspoken invitation for you to rejoin them.

However, you remain rooted to your spot, waiting for Wanda's permission before making a move.

With eyes bloodshot and voice hoarse, Wanda looks at you and softly pleads, “Please, Y/N.”

At last, you gather the strength to meet her gaze and offer a nod of gratitude as you make your way back to your seat.

After you settle back into the couch, Calliope speaks up. 

“What happened here was intense, but it's also a part of the process. Confronting our emotions and learning to manage them is essential. But, we should always strive to communicate in a respectful manner," Her voice holds a hint of emphasis, and it's the closest thing to a reprimand that Wanda has heard from her. “But it’s a good thing that you returned here willingly, realizing your mistake and having the determination to face the consequences of your actions and apologize for it.”

Calliope continues, “Y/N, if I may, what led you to ask those particular questions?”

The question quickly brings a raw admission out of you–something you’ve buried at the back of your mind and never thought would come to the surface.

“I always wondered if Wanda strayed because I was lacking in some way. If there was something missing in me that Vision was able to offer her,” you confess, feeling a sudden wave of insecurity wash over you.

You are so engrossed in your thoughts that you don't see Wanda softly shaking her head in response to your words. 

You push forward, “If I were the one lacking, it would at least be something tangible I could fix. A clear problem with a clear solution. And perhaps that solution could serve as a sort of assurance for me, a guarantee that Wanda won’t do it again.”

“Honestly, it would've been easier if she answered yes to all those questions…” you chuckle softly, seeing the irony in the situation.

“It wasn’t anything you lacked, Y/N,” Wanda bites her lower lip nervously. “It wasn't about you being less or Vision being more… Frankly, being drawn to him then feels like… like a depersonalization. When I look back, I don’t recognize who I am at that moment.”

The term she used sounds unfamiliar in your ears. You look to Calliope, brows furrowed, trying to make sense of what Wanda was trying to say.

“Depersonalization is a state where a person feels detached or disconnected from themselves,” Calliope explains mildly. “They might feel like they're observing their own body from an outside perspective, or like they're in a dream or a movie. It's a form of dissociation, a mental process which produces a lack of connection in a person's thoughts, memories, feelings, actions, or sense of identity.”

“Depersonalization is often triggered by severe stress or trauma,” Calliope continues, looking at Wanda. “People experiencing it may make decisions that are out of character or do things that they normally wouldn't, as if they're on autopilot or being controlled by some external force.”

Wanda's nod comes slowly, her gaze on her folded hands. 

“During a moment when I... I felt so detached, I did something that I wouldn't normally do. I cheated,” She hesitates, swallowing hard. “But it wasn't because you lacked anything or because Vision was better. It was a reflection of my own personal problems and not about you or our relationship.”

For a long moment, you remain quiet, digesting her words, wrestling with yourself over whether you really want to believe this reasoning.

“Why didn't you come to me, Wanda?” you ask with a mournful realization that all of this could have been avoided if Wanda had simply come to you suddenly. “If you were struggling, I would've wanted to help.”

“I know,” Wanda mutters ruefully. “But at the time, I had just left my job at the gallery, and you were doing so well in your career. I–I didn't want to seem helpless, like a burden. I was battling self-pity, not to mention the grief from our failed pregnancy. I felt like I'd already failed you as a wife... I didn't want to seem even more of a failure.”

“I've never seen your struggles with pregnancy as a failure, Wanda, and certainly not your failure,” you gently interject.

“I'm aware of that, Y/N,” Wanda replies, her voice soft and almost bashful, as if she's just now coming to terms with how embarrassingly poorly she handled the whole situation. 

“But I couldn’t help but blame myself because I knew how much you wanted children. You wanted it even before you asked me to marry you. The reality of not being able to provide you the family you wanted... It felt like my heart was being torn apart. I was drowning in my grief and frustration. And just when I was starting to regain my footing, I lost a job that I was proud of. Moving to Westview seemed to rob me of my last sense of purpose. I felt lost, angry even.”

“Wanda, you're the person I wanted to raise a family with,” you say.

Wanda's lower lip trembles at that, and she reaches out, pulling another tissue from the box that Calliope had thoughtfully placed in front of her earlier.

After a long pause, you ask softly, “You were angry at me?”

“I wasn't angry with you per se,” Wanda admits, glancing towards Calliope automatically. It’s a topic that they extensively covered in the past. “It was only through my sessions with Calliope that I understood that my anger was not directed at anyone in particular, but at everything that was happening around me. I was lashing out at the world, and sadly, you were part of that world.”

That's a feeling you realize you can relate to. In hindsight, you recognize that you lashed out at the world for what Wanda did to you, and in doing so, hurt the people around you as well.

“I'm not here to provide excuses for my actions because there's nothing that could ever justify what I did,” Wanda says, her voice trembling slightly. “I know you’re–I know you’re still deciding if you want to be with me–”

“Wanda–”

“Please, Y/N, let me finish,” she interrupts, swallowing the lump in her throat as she braces herself for what comes next. “I know you’re still deciding if you want to be with me, which is why I want you to know everything—my thoughts, my feelings…to help with your decision.”

Wanda is laying it all on the line, placing the sole decision in your hands, baring her soul to see if you still want what you both had. Without the nostalgia of your old room in Montauk, the place where you two reconciled that night, you now see clearly both sides of the choice to try again with Wanda.

“I… I think I need some time to absorb all of these, Wanda. But I hear you,” you say. “And right now, I just want to say one thing: you're not a failure. You never were,” you say softly, reaching out to squeeze her hand. 

For years you’ve looked at your relationship with Wanda through rose-colored lenses. But it becomes apparent now that there had been problems, deep-seated issues in your previous marriage that you had failed to see.

Wanda squeezes your hand back, your fingers tightening around yours, as if trying to hold on to you. “Thank you. I’m still struggling to believe that, but thank you.”

Calliope, who has been quietly observing the exchange, finally breaks the silence.

“These sessions are not meant to be easy, and this one certainly was heavy. But you are here, facing the truth, confronting the past, and expressing yourselves honestly and vulnerably. That takes courage.

“I'm proud of both of you,” she continues with a smile, giving each of you an encouraging nod. “I can see that today's revelations are a lot to take in. Spend some time reflecting on what we've discussed today–together and individually. But, before I let you go, there’s one more thing.”

You and Wanda look at her expectantly.

“I have a task in mind for both of you. However, I want to ensure that you only undertake it once you feel at ease with it and have fully absorbed the discussions from today's session.

“Write a letter to each other,” Calliope suggests. “Put down everything you want to say. There are no rules. It can be long or short. The only condition is to be honest with each other.”

She pauses to let her instructions sink in. “This is not something you have to share with me or anyone else. But when you're ready, I suggest that you share it with each other.”

A little while later, you and Wanda step out of the room, feeling as though you've both just endured the toughest battle of your lives. But as the door closes behind you, Wanda reaches out and gently takes your hand in hers.

“Don't worry about earlier,” Wanda whispers, looking up at you with a small smile. “We're here to learn and grow, right?”

You nod, but the guilt still lingers. “I need to work on controlling my anger,” you confess. Today's outburst was a startling wake-up call, a side of yourself you hadn't recognized. You'd never really thought of yourself as someone with anger issues, but not only did you scare Wanda, you were also fearful of what you might be capable of if it happens again. “I can't always resort to yelling when I'm upset. It's not fair to you or to me.”

Wanda gives your hand a comforting squeeze. “We're in this together, okay?” she says. “We can talk to Calliope about it, work on it. We're learning, Y/N. Remember that.”

You stop in your tracks to face her fully, and then tug on her hand until she's stepping into your embrace. You wrap your arms around her, holding her tightly to your chest, feeling the warmth of her against you. Your lips find her hair, and you kiss it gently.

“Yeah,” you reply, the knot in your chest loosening just a bit. “We're learning.”

***

Agatha twiddles her thumbs, anxiety practically radiating from her. She hasn't felt this nervous since her first job interview decades ago, and the words she needs to say now are sticking in her throat.

Wanda, in the midst of cooking, hears the silence and turns to face her business partner. She drops the spatula on the counter and heaves an exasperated sigh. “What is it?” 

“I've got something to tell you,” Agatha finally says, avoiding Wanda's gaze.

Wanda tilts her head, studying her. “Alright, shoot,” she prompts, crossing her arms over her chest.

Agatha gulps, finding an interesting spot on the floor to focus on. She’s been rehearsing this for a while now but words just refuse to come out.

“I signed us up for the annual NYC Holiday Cup-Off,” Agatha announces.

Wanda's eyebrows shoot up, her face twisting into a bewildered expression. “The what now?”

“It's an annual coffee showdown that takes place every year on December 30th. A member of the organizing committee stopped by yesterday and required an immediate response. I agreed,” Agatha explains. “I mean, it’s a good exposure for us, right?”

“But the holidays are going to be hectic,” Wanda argues and resumes her cooking. “Also, Y/N and I are currently in the middle of fixing our issues. I don't want to add more to our plate.”

Before Agatha could reply, Peter interjects, “Hey, I'm totally up for helping out! And MJ will be on break from school soon, so she'll have some free time to pitch in too.”

Agatha turns to Wanda with a pleased look. “So, what do you say?”

It’s undeniably a huge opportunity to showcase their craft. Investors will be at the event, and many coffee enthusiasts will be looking to try something new. Their humble store in Queens would definitely benefit from the attention.

Wanda sighs, the corners of her mouth turning up in a small, resigned smile. “Okay,” she relents. “Let's do it.”

Just then, the bell over the door chimes and Peter immediately springs to action, leaving Agatha and Wanda alone at the counter.

“So,” Agatha starts, a curious glint in her eyes, “You and Y/N, huh? ‘In the middle of fixing issues’?”

Wanda's actions seem distracted as she avoids direct eye contact with Agatha, her hands busy with fidgeting in the utensils drawer. Finally, she retrieves a spoon to sample the marinara sauce she's been perfecting, an action that seems more about giving herself something to do than genuine interest in the sauce.  “Yes. We've started attending therapy together.”

Agatha's teasing grin quickly fades, replaced by genuine interest. Her voice softens as she asks, “Really? And how's that going?”

Wanda's response is accompanied by a small, nervous laugh, more a reflex than a sign of amusement. She continues to stir the sauce, using the motion to mask her unease. “We've had just one session till now,” she reveals, her voice catching slightly. “And, well, it was quite, uhm, heated.”

“Heated?” Agatha echoes, growing more curious than ever. “How so?”

Wanda's gaze falls, and she takes a moment to gather herself, her hands clasping the counter tightly. Finally, she looks up, meeting Agatha's concerned eyes.

“Our therapist wanted us to start from the beginning, you know? How I found myself attracted to my former student and such,” she explains, her voice cracking slightly. She takes a deep breath, attempting to steady herself. “And, uh, there were things Y/N had never heard before.”

She swallows, a look of discomfort crossing her face. “And then Y/N started asking questions, comparing herself to Vision. Asking if... if he was better than her.”

Agatha's eyes narrow in confusion for a split second, and then they widen comically as the realization hits her. “You mean... in bed?” she exclaims, surprised.

Wanda clears her throat before nodding, her face turning a shade redder. Agatha's eyes widen further, shock and concern evident in her expression. “Wanda!” she gasps, a hand flying to her chest in disbelief. “That's... That's quite the question to ask. What did you say to Y/N?”

“I didn’t say anything,” Wanda replies, her voice soft and reflective.

“Why didn't you just tell her she's better?” Agatha asks, puzzled.

Wanda shakes her head, her eyes downcast. “She wouldn't have believed me. It would've just turned into me lying to make her feel better and then me trying to convince her it's not a lie,” She pauses, her voice dropping further. “But, honestly, I don't think that's what she was really trying to find out.”

“I think she was trying to find a reason to blame herself... maybe thinking she was lacking something. Like if she figured out what she was missing, she could just fix it, right? But that’s now how it works, is it? It’s not that simple.” Wanda says.

Agatha nods slowly, absorbing Wanda's words. “That's a heavy conversation to have.”

“Tell me about it,” Wanda agrees, a weary sigh escaping her lips. Her hand reaches absently for the spoon again, but she sets it down, realizing that the sauce no longer holds her attention. 

Agatha sighs, rubbing her forehead before giving Wanda a perturbed look. “But, Wanda,” she continues, “Do you think dredging up the past is the best way to regain Y/N's trust? Therapy is supposed to help, not make things more complicated.”

Wanda's eyes wander for a moment, seeking an answer in the empty space before her. “I... I don't know, Agatha,” she admits helplessly. “But these issues, they've been hiding there, just out of sight. They were bound to emerge eventually.”

Wanda continues, “I think if we want to rebuild our relationship, we have to face these issues head-on, don't we? We can't just pretend they don't exist.”

Agatha studies her in silence for a beat, before asking, “But what if this pushes her further away? What if, instead of helping Y/N realize what she wants, it sends her running in the other direction?”

Wanda shakes her head. “We're not in therapy to convince Y/N to be with me. She's already made it clear that she wants that.”

“Then why go down this painful path?” Agatha argues. “It seems like you're digging your own grave.”

“Because I need her to be sure,” Wanda says. “I need her to believe in us again.”

She recognizes the steadfast glint in Wanda's eye. It's a look she's seen before, one that comes to the fore when Wanda is unmovable, unwilling to change her mind.

“I can see that,” Agatha says quietly. “But it's a fine line you're walking, Wanda. Healing is important, but so is self-preservation. Don't destroy yourself in the process.”

Wanda's eyes meet Agatha's, determination burning in them. “I know it's a risk," she says. “But it's one I have to take. Y/N deserves to know everything, to understand why things happened the way they did. If that leads to us being stronger together, then it's worth it. If it drives her away... well, at least I'll know I was honest.”

Agatha sighs, but it is later on followed by a knowing grin. “You really do love her, don't you?”

Wanda smiles, a sad but resolute one. “More than anything. And that's why I can't hide from the past. I have to face it, no matter how painful it is. For her. For us.”

They stand side by side in silence for a moment, each lost in thought. 

“I hope it works, Wanda. I really do.”

“Me too,” Wanda whispers, her voice full of hope and a touch of fear. “Me too.”

***

“A person can love you with all their heart and not be any good at it. But remember, you don't have to tolerate anything you don't like, no matter how much they love you.”

You shift in your seat, restless and unsure. Your foot taps a rhythm on the carpeted floor of Calliope's office as her words swirl in your mind, the temperature in the room seeming to rise with your anxiety.

“It doesn't sound like you're encouraging me to stick with Wanda,” you point out.

Calliope leans back in her chair, a good-natured smile playing on her lips. “I'm not here to encourage or discourage any particular course of action,” she says calmly. “What I am here for is to help you explore your feelings and understand what you truly want. Sometimes love isn't enough, and that's okay. It's up to you to decide what you can and can't accept in a relationship.”

As you chew on Calliope's words, trying to reconcile your love for Wanda with the reality of the situation, you find comfort in Calliope's lack of judgment, a space to think without pressure.

“You're right,” you mumble. “I just need to figure out what I can live with and what I can't.”

It's your first official solo session with Calliope after a tumultuous joint session with Wanda earlier in the week. Interaction with Wanda since then has been muted and bittersweet. Interaction with Wanda since then has been muted and bittersweet, marked only by a quiet dinner at her place and a walk with Sparky outside afterward. The dinner was sweet, filled with affectionate glances and gentle touches, but it lacked the spark that once ignited between you two in Montauk and the passionate days that followed.

Frankly, you're desperate to return to how things were before your outburst, but you have no idea how.

The subsequent days that followed haven't been any better. You remember the way Wanda would sometimes look at you with a silent question in her eyes. It could have been a simple, “Are we going to make it?” or as heart-wrenching as, “Have you changed your mind about giving us another chance?”

“So, tell me more about how you're feeling,” Calliope prompts, bringing you back to the present moment. “What are some of the emotions that have been coming up for you lately?”

“Uh, they come at different times in the day,” you say, chuckling softly. “In the morning there’s longing. Now that I’m no longer in denial of the fact that I’m still very much in love with my ex-wife, I miss her more terribly than the months we were estranged. I miss Wanda and I miss our old life together. I miss the routine I have with her. Just… being married to her. Then in the afternoon, I miss another relationship in my life–my friendship with Nat. She’s like a sister to me–well, I consider her one. I grew up without siblings and the only other familial love I knew in my life was my mother’s until she came along. Losing her hurt as much if not more than Wanda’s betrayal, to be honest.”

As you pause, feeling as though you're oversharing, Calliope gifts you a reassuring smile. “Just continue, Y/N. I'm here to listen,” she encourages.

You shyly return her smile before continuing, “Nights, well, they're a combination of guilt, anger, and a kind of despair that sometimes makes me wish I wouldn't wake up if everything remains the same. I'm not... I don't think I'm suicidal, but at times, it feels as though an abrupt end would be easier to deal with.”

Calliope takes a moment to process your words, her eyes softening with empathy. “It sounds like you're carrying a lot of pain,” she says. “But let's clarify something important–while it might feel overwhelming at times, it doesn't mean it's unmanageable. When you have thoughts about not wanting to wake up, it's a sign that you're longing for relief, not necessarily the end. It's vital to differentiate between the two. Now, let me ask. Has there been anything recently that's caused you pain? Something you believe you're still grappling with?”

You make it appear as if you have to think about it for a moment even though the response comes to you almost instantly.

“Uhm, there is actually…” you start. “Wanda and I haven’t talked about this because all conversations that have something to do with Vision are just painful to have basically. I don’t know if Wanda’s mentioned it to you before but, uh, Wanda told me herself that Vision filmed them having sex.”

“I see,” Calliope responds. “Wanda did mention that. We mainly focused on her experience though–how it was a direct violation of her privacy.”

You draw a deep breath, releasing it slowly as you prepare to delve into the matter further.

“Right. And as for me, knowing about the existence of such a video, it just... It haunts me. It's not like I've seen it or anything. But–but just the idea... It feels like an additional layer of betrayal. And on top of that, I’m livid that someone easily violated Wanda like that.”

“So, it's not just the affair itself, but the tangible evidence of it that exacerbates the hurt. Is that correct?”

You nod, the tension in your shoulders easing slightly.

“I understand,” Calliope says, giving you a sympathetic nod. “It's like an open wound that keeps getting poked. And every time it does, it becomes more difficult to heal.”

“Right,” you agree, your voice catching a bit as you swallow. The way Calliope has just articulated your feelings is validating, like she's reading your thoughts. “I deleted that video without seeing it. I knew it would just make me hate Wanda all over again. But, you know, sometimes I wonder if I should've seen it.”

Calliope nods, her hands resting comfortably in her lap. “It's totally natural to feel that way,” she says. “Curiosity, the need for closure, or just the urge to understand... These feelings can push us to do things like that. But it's worth remembering, not all answers make things better. Sometimes, they just hurt more.”

“Do you think I’d still be here, trying to make things work if I had seen it?” you wonder out loud.

Calliope takes a moment, her eyes thoughtful as she considers your question. “That's a tough one, Y/N. So many things could influence a decision like that. But you know, despite everything else, we often end up following our heart, even if it doesn't make logical sense.”

Her words seem to settle something inside you. 

You find your thoughts drifting, reflecting on the choices you've made and the paths you've chosen not to take. The video was a potential Pandora's box, one you knew you needed to avoid. The thought of violating Wanda's privacy, even after everything, feels wrong. 

You recognize your own responsibility of ensuring you don't place yourself in situations that might jeopardize what you and Wanda are rebuilding. For too long, you've felt as if you're just waiting for the next slip-up from Wanda, and you yearn to free yourself from that cycle.

“Nothing about love is logical, then?” you ask. 

“Love often doesn't follow the rules of logic,” she begins, her voice soft but clear. “It's a deeply emotional and sometimes irrational force. But that doesn't mean it's without structure or patterns.”

She pauses, studying your face to gauge your reaction. “In therapy, we often look at love through the lens of attachment and connection. How we express love, how we receive it, what we need from a relationship, and how we cope when those needs are not met. All of these aspects can be explored and understood.”

You take a deep breath, trying to wrap your mind around Calliope's words. “So, what you're saying is that while love itself might not be logical, understanding our own patterns and reactions in love can bring clarity?”

Calliope smiles, nodding. “Exactly. Recognizing your own needs, your triggers, and your boundaries can help you navigate the complexities of love. It can provide you with the tools to build a healthier relationship, not just with Wanda but with yourself.”

As the session starts to wind down, Calliope looks at you with a kind yet inquisitive expression. “Is there anything specific you'd like to talk about before we end today? Any thoughts or feelings you’d like to explore further?”

“Actually, there's something I've been wanting to ask, but it feels a bit awkward–especially with Wanda around,” you say, looking a bit sheepish.

Calliope leans forward, her eyes warm and attentive. “This is a safe space. Whatever you need to ask or discuss, feel free to do so. Remember, our conversations here are confidential.”

“Okay,” you say, wetting your lips. “Do you think...Do you think it's possible for someone to change? I mean, truly change? Wanda has hurt me in the past, and she's said it… it won’t happen again. She's working hard to prove it, but how can I be sure? How can I trust that it's not just an act, that she won't hurt me again?”

Calliope takes her time, carefully considering her words before speaking.

“I believe people can change,” she tells you squarely. “But change is a process. It's slow, and it's hard. And it's something that the person has to genuinely want for themselves. Change cannot be forced or faked.”

She pauses, looking deep into your eyes. “The question here isn't just whether Wanda can change, but whether you believe she can. Trust is a delicate thing, and it takes time to rebuild. It's normal to have doubts, to have fears. What's important is how you address those feelings and how you communicate with Wanda about them.”

You nod, her words sinking in. It’s a terrifying leap of faith, a gamble with your heart and your happiness.

“What if I make the wrong choice?” you ask, failing to keep the tremor out of your voice. “What if I trust her, and she betrays me again?”

“Deciding to trust someone will never not be a risk, Y/N,” Calliope says, placing a comforting hand on your arm.

“You're right,” you reply, taking a deep breath and feeling a bit more centered. “I need to focus on the now and communicate openly with Wanda.”

Calliope's smile is warm and understanding. “You’ve taken brave steps today, Y/N.”

The future is unwritten, and it's yours to shape. 

***

The enticing aroma of steak cooking fills your kitchen as you busy yourself with the final touches of the evening meal. As you fuss over the table preparation and positioning the scented candles you spread around the dining room, you're conscious of the nerves prickling at your skin. It's not like this is your first date with Wanda, but the anticipation of her arrival makes it feel as if it is.

Freshly bathed, you've even gone through the effort of applying a touch of makeup, just enough to give you that extra glow. You're wearing a nice shirt that subtly showcases your lean arms and compliments your figure. 

Maybe part of you is expecting, or at least hoping, for more than just dinner tonight.

The doorbell rings, sending a shiver of anticipation down your spine. Quickly, you wipe your hands on a kitchen towel and hurry to the door.

Wanda stands there, her beauty as stunning as ever. Her cheeks are lightly flushed from the winter chill, and she's bundled up in a thick, cozy puffer jacket. Nestled in her arms is Sparky, his tail wagging wildly in sheer joy at the sight of you. Seeing your little family at your doorstep, a jolt of affection sweeps over you, momentarily stealing your words, but you manage to find your footing, leaning in to greet her with a tender kiss. Sparky lets out a surprised yelp, sandwiched between you and Wanda.

When you release her bottom lip with a wet pop, Wanda peers up at you with a dazed smile on her face as she asks, “What was that for?”

With a nonchalant shrug, you answer, “I couldn’t resist, you're just too beautiful.”

She looks surprised as she takes in the romantically set table, the flickering candles, and the open bottle of merlot. “What's all this for?” she asks, her eyes meeting yours.

Trying to keep your voice steady, you shrug, offering her a casual grin. “No special reason,” you respond, gesturing to the lovingly prepared meal. “Just felt like making you dinner. Sparky can have ⅓ of my steak since I didn’t know he’s coming too.”

She turns to you with a wide grin on her face and says, “Oh, Y/N, you didn’t have to…”

“I wanted to,” you tell her sheepishly. “Is that alright?”

Wanda pulls you close, the fabric of your shirt gathered in her hand, and captures your lips in another searing kiss. “It’s more than alright,” she whispers, her breath warm against your skin.

Her hand releases your shirt, and she follows you into the dining room where the dinner you worked very hard on is waiting. You clink your glasses in a toast, and then you both tuck into your dinner. Conversation flows easily between you two, just like old times. 

Wanda shares anecdotes about her day, each story making you smile or laugh. When it's your turn, you talk about your first solo therapy session with Calliope. Wanda immediately reassures you that you don't need to share anything you're not comfortable with, but you shake your head, insisting that you want to be open with her.

The conversation takes a more serious turn when you mention Vision's illicit video of their affair. You see Wanda's eyes widen in surprise, but she remains silent, waiting for you to continue.

You take a deep breath, meeting Wanda's eyes. “It... It's been bothering me, Wanda. The idea of it. The violation of your privacy... and just the very existence of it. I didn’t know how to bring it up but talking to Calliope earlier helped me come to terms with it.”

Wanda's face pales slightly, her fork pausing in mid-air. “Oh,” she murmurs, the word barely audible. She sets her utensils down and takes a sip of wine, her gaze distant. “I... I see.”

“I want you to know,” you continue, reaching across the table to place your hand over hers, “I deleted it. I didn't watch it. Not because I was scared of what I might see, but because it was the right thing to do. For both of us.”

Wanda's eyes widen slightly, and something in her expression shifts. Her face is open and unguarded, and tears well in her eyes, not spilling over, but making them shine with an intensity that grips your heart. 

She opens her mouth to speak, but it takes her a moment to find her voice, a subtle tremble in her words as she finally says, “Thank you.”

Wanda's throat moves as she struggles to reel in her emotions. “Thank you for respecting me, even when I didn't deserve it.”

You smile and lean forward to place a gentle kiss on the back of her hand. “You’re welcome.”

As the last remnants of the Merlot are savored and the dishes are cleared away, a new energy envelops the room. The candlelight dances in Wanda's eyes and the warmth of the evening gives way to a different kind of heat.

The conversation slows to comfortable silence. Neither of you makes a move, but the air between you is taut with expectation as you regard her with an aching gaze. After a lingering moment, you both get up from the table, your movements mirroring each other's. The distance between you diminishes as Wanda steps closer, her hands finding their way to your waist.

You tilt your head upwards, meeting her gaze, and what you see makes your heart race. Her eyes are dark, pupils blown wide with desire. Her lips part slightly as her breath hitches, the slight tremble betraying her nervousness. You both want this, need this. And tonight, there's nothing holding you back. The past is behind you, and the future is waiting. For now, you have this moment, and it's more than enough.

As your lips meet in a passionate kiss, you can't help but think that this isn't just another step towards gaining back some semblance of what you two used to have. It's a leap of faith–being this close to her isn’t something you still need to be afraid of. This night isn't just about seeking physical comfort; it's about rediscovering each other in the most personal way possible. 

More than just dinner, indeed.

“No, don’t go,” Wanda’s arm swiftly wraps around your exposed waist, anchoring you to the bed–the very bed where you've spent hours making love to her. A soft chuckle bubbles from your lips as your fingers trace the hand splayed across your stomach, a gentle prison keeping you bound to the mattress alongside her.

“I just need to grab something, love, I’ll be right back,” you assure her, pressing a tender kiss to her forehead before carefully disentangling from her insistent grasp. 

Wanda releases you reluctantly, an adorable pout gracing her lips that sends a pang of regret through you, making you momentarily second-guess your decision to leave the inviting cocoon of her warmth. You smirk as you watch Sparky take your place beside Wanda and start licking at her face, making your ex-wife squirm and giggle from his attention.

Slowly, you make your way to the desk situated not too far from the bed. Over your shoulder, you can see Wanda propping herself up, the sheet falling haphazardly over her bare form, her modesty barely preserved by the silken material. The sight of her is momentarily distracting, but you manage to shake the thoughts away, focusing on the task at hand.

On the desk lies the letter you’ve penned for her. Calliope had recommended this as an exercise–writing down everything you wanted to say to each other in the form of a letter. At first, you found it a little odd. You've always been more of a face-to-face person when it comes to expressing yourself.

With the letter in hand, you make your way back to the bed, the anticipation causing your heart to hammer erratically against your chest. It's just Wanda. You've known each other for years, yet somehow, this moment feels as nerve-wracking as a first date.

As you climb back into bed, you hand the letter over to Wanda, looking into her eyes, now filled with curiosity and a hint of nervousness reflecting your own. 

“This... is for you,” you say softly, the letter in her hands feeling like a piece of your soul, bare and exposed for her to see.

Wanda looks genuinely taken aback, her fingers running over the sealed envelope lightly. “Oh, Y/N,” she says, sounding surprised and a touch guilty. “I didn't know we were exchanging letters tonight. I left mine for you back at my apartment.”

Her eyes flicker to you, apologetic, as she makes a mental note to herself to retrieve the letter as soon as she can. You reassure her, saying, “That's alright, Wanda. You can read mine without having to give yours. There's no rush.”

You watch as Wanda slowly unfolds it. She scans the contents of your letter, her eyes tracing the loops and lines of your handwriting. In that quiet, you can practically hear your own heartbeat, and the wait feels agonizing as you watch Wanda's reactions to your words—her brows furrow in concentration, her lips part in surprise, and her eyes, unsteady at first, gradually soften in understanding.

Wanda,

I need to begin with an apology. I've lashed out at you many times, and even though people say I have every right to be angry, I never want to hurt you with my actions or words. I'm sorry for that, truly.

I've loved you for a long time, Wanda, and even in the depths of all the hurt and pain, that love never stopped. Not even once. That, I think, was the hardest part.

Here's the truth: loving you is like breathing for me. It's this natural, innate thing that hasn't been shaken by everything we've gone through. I can't assure you that we'll end up with rings on our fingers again, but I want you to know what I hope for us. I hope for us to grow individually as people, to overcome our own demons, and to find our way back to each other, stronger than before.

I walked away before because I was lost, Wanda. I felt like I was drowning, and the person who should've been my lifeline was the one pushing me further under. It wasn't easy, stepping away from you, from us. But I was scared, and I felt like I had no other choice.

I can't promise that everything will be smooth sailing from here on out. I can't promise that I'll suddenly trust you like I used to. Honestly, I have no idea what's coming our way. But I can promise that I'll try. 

I'm still in love with you, Wanda, and I'm still here. I’ll keep trying as long as it takes.

Yours always,

Y/N

When she's done reading, she clutches the letter to her chest, her eyes closing for a moment, as if absorbing the words into her very being. Then slowly, she places it gently on the nightstand, her hand lingering on the paper as if reluctant to let go.

There's a vulnerability in her eyes that you haven't seen in a while. It takes your breath away, the rawness of it, the absolute trust she's putting in you in this moment. It's what you've been working towards, what you've been fighting for. And it's beautiful.

“What you wrote...” she pauses, her eyes glistening as she fights back tears, a smile playing at the corners of her mouth, “It means everything to me. Thank you.”

You reach across, brushing a stray tear from her cheek, your touch gentle. “I love you,” you tell her, your voice thick with emotion.

Her hand covers yours, her fingers squeezing reassuringly. “I love you too,” she whispers, the words a sacred promise, a reaffirmation of everything that you are to each other. Her smile deepens, her eyes sparkling with a love that's both old and new, and in that moment, everything feels right in the world.

Sometime in the middle of the night, you're pulled from the comfort of sleep by a relentless buzzing noise. In the dim light, you can make out Wanda's phone vibrating on her nightstand. Carefully, so as not to awaken her, you reach across her slumbering form to silence the persistent vibration.

Squinting at the bright screen, you find a flurry of unread messages and missed calls from unknown numbers and names you don't recognize. A feeling of unease begins to creep in as you fumble to unlock the phone, trying Wanda's birthday first, then yours, both to no avail. Your frustration mounts, and with a sigh of resignation, you power off the phone to quell its incessant buzzing.

But as you settle back into bed, your mind begins to wander into dangerous territory, forming connections and scenarios that you'd rather not contemplate. Who has been trying to reach her? Could there be others, aside from Valkyrie, who had vied for her attention? 

The seed of doubt sown, jealousy begins to sprout within you before you can stop it. You turn to your side, facing away from her, trying to shake off the unwelcome emotions. You close your eyes, willing sleep to come to you. The sheets feel cool against your skin, and you pull the covers closer. 

It’s not a war waged anymore with Wanda or what she did in the past.

It’s a war you’re now waging with yourself.

Taglist: @canvascoloredin | @justgotlizzied , @casquinhaa | @marvelwomen-simp | @sunsol-22 | @wandanatlov3r | @kyaraderuwez | @justyourwritter69 | @stanolsevans | @aliherreraaa | @diaryoflife| @justagurlwholikes | @lizziesplant | @cowxpoke | @sokovianbaby| @swiftie1-0-1 | @scarlettbitchx | @tercerspirit-22

[measuredingold]

safety net: part one

authors note: a fun little thing i wrote up (yes, another discord idea) and am finally posting! this will be in two parts because it got to be pretty long, and the next part will be posted tomorrow night. i hope you all enjoy and feedback is appreciated! (p.s. please be kind :) don't like it, don't read it!)

pairing: nicholas ruffilo x reader (previous noah sebastian x reader)

cross-posted on ao3

part two

word count: 5.6k

cw/tags: fake dating/pretend relationship, past relationship (with noah), angstish, all around fluff, kissing lol, 18+ minors do not interact

The buzz of your phone broke you out of your trance, eyes darting from the computer down to your cell phone. You were so caught up in your work that you barely even paid attention to it, but these days you weren't getting many messages from anyone besides your friends.

everything alright? 

You freeze, eyes scanning over your screen. You looked up from your desk and around the room, seeing your coworkers in their own world, before reaching for your phone. You stared at the text from Nicholas.

Why was he texting you? You're sure Noah's already told him what happened. There wasn't a reason for him to be texting you, anyways. Sure, you had gotten along whenever you'd come over to see Noah, and maybe you'd consider him a friend at one point, seeing as he has your number, but he was Noah's friend first. Best friend. Shouldn't it be a part of Bro Code or something to not reach out to your best friends ex?

You frown as another text comes through.

haven't heard from you in awhile.

has he not told you we broke up lol?

Just the thought of Noah made your stomach turn and you sat your phone back down on your desk, a sigh leaving you. It's been about two months since you and Noah had broken up. It was a 6 month situationship at best, according to Noah, but you had figured it was moving towards something more serious. Especially when you both stopped seeing other people. Guess you thought wrong.

You peer over at your phone as it buzzes again.

no, he told me. just wanted to check in because we haven't spoken lol 

i thought we were friends 😭

...that was a joke, by the way. you're not obligated to tell me anything ofc but i did think we were friends. lol

Your brows raise at that and you quickly reach for your phone again, thumbs moving across the screen.

you still consider us friends?

The typing bubble pops up immediately.

of course? 

even after your best friend broke up with me?

...are we supposed to stop being friends just because of noah?

idk

isn't it like bro code or something?

LMFAO i don't think so? 

i mean. you guys weren't that serious, right? i think this is different.

Ouch, you think, brows furrowing.

i thought we were getting serious but. lol. guess not.

really? 

yeah. i wasn't seeing anyone else, and neither was he. i thought it was *exclusive* or whatever.

noah obviously didn't think so lmfao

it was just fucking frustrating because i really liked him. and thought it could be something, you know?

You press send without thinking, heart thudding against your chest once you realize it went through. Complaining to Nicholas about his own best friend is probably not the best thing to do, you realize, and you text him again.

sorry. You‘re literally his friend, i should not be complaining to you lol.

don’t apologize. i don’t mind you talking about it.

tbh i figured he did something along those lines. it’s not at all surprising.

You stare at your phone, brows furrowing at Nicholas' text. What did he mean by that? And… Was he agreeing with you? That was odd, and something inside of you turned, but before you could type out what you wanted to say your boss' voice filled the room.

"Don't forget our meeting in 10, guys!"

Your eyes snap up from your desk to your boss' office and your shoulders slouched. The meeting hadn't been on your mind at all, and you knew you had to cut this conversation with Nicholas short in order to prepare for it. You sigh, thumbs moving across your screen.

i'm at work and have a meeting soon, but do you care to talk later? i haven't really talked to anyone about this and... it's kind of nice letting it out not gonna lie lol

His reply comes a few minutes later.

if you want, i can call you around 6 tonight if that's alright? i have some things to finish today but i should be free by then.

Call? For some reason that makes you nervous, your fingers twitching and stomach turning. You hadn't spoken to Nicholas in a few months, and the thought of hearing his voice has your skin buzzing. Weird. You don't have time to reply, instead reacting to his message with a thumbs up and gathering your things for the meeting.

...

A shower, a set of comfy clothes, your favorite blanket, and a bowl of ramen later, you had almost forgotten about your expected phone call with Nicholas by the time you rested on the couch after work. Too engrossed in your shows, you nearly jump out of your seat when you hear your phone rang from beside you. Your quickened heartbeat relaxes for a split second when you see it's just Nicholas, but speeds up again when you realize he actually called you.

You stare at your phone as you let it ring once, twice, and then a third time before finally pressing answer.

"Hello?"

"Hey." Nicholas' soft voice fills your ears. "Sorry it took me a while to get back to you, I got distracted."

"It's fine," You say from around your thumb, it somehow finding its way to your mouth as you nervously chew on it. "I kind of didn't really expect you to call."

"Seriously?" He sounds shocked, like it doesn't make sense why you would think that. "I told you I would."

"I know, just..." You shrug, then blush when you remember he can't see you. "This is weird, right? You calling your best friend's ex to listen to them complain about said best friend."

He's silent on the other end before saying, "Listen. We're still friends, correct? Friends check in on each other. Plus... I'm kind of on your side. What he did was fucked up. I told him that."

"You told him?"

"Mhm." Nicholas hums, and you hear the sound of a door shutting in the background. You hear some shuffling and the sound of him groaning quietly, and you suspect he's in his bedroom, lying down. "I called him an idiot for you, don't worry."

You laugh, surprised, pulling your blanket further up your body.

"You didn't have to do that."

"No, I did." He's laughing now. "He needed to be told that what he did was wrong.”

"He probably didn't like that."

Nicholas sighs on the other end. "He sure fucking didn't."

"Is he mad at you?" You say after a few beats of silence, your lips slowly tugging down into a frown.

"For what?"

"For talking to me?" You grumble, pulling a string of fabric out of your blanket. "And for agreeing that what he did was fucked up?"

"Uh..." Nicholas clears his throat. "He doesn't really know that I reached out to you. Yet. This was weeks ago when I called him out on his shit." He pauses. "But yeah, he was pissed that I told him it was fucked up."

You go silent, not sure how to respond. You feel odd, like there's a weight on your chest, almost like... sadness. You knew how hard-headed Noah could be and how it was hard for him to get over his pride, so having one of his best friend's call him out on how he treated you was sure to piss him off. Though, a part of you was hoping maybe he'd tell Nicholas he regretted it all, regretted the way he treated you, but there was none of that. 

"Still there?"

Too lost in your thoughts you don't realize how long you've gone silent, and your cheeks flush out of embarrassment.

"Oh, yeah. Sorry. Just thinking."

"About?"

"I don't know..." You sigh. "Just how stupid I feel being upset over a guy who's angrier that someone called him out than what he actually did to me. It's embarrassing."

"No, it's not-"

You cut him off. "Yes, it is. It's really fucking embarrassing. I thought we were serious, fucking exclusive, only to find out he looked at our entire relationship the complete opposite." You have to catch your breath, shoulders deflating. "He called me a situationship, Nicholas. Like it was just some fucking fling to keep him occupied because he was bored."

Nicholas doesn't say anything, and to be honest, you don't blame him. If you were on the other end you're not sure what you would say either. It just angered you, this whole thing. You thought you had found someone, maybe not exactly the one, but maybe someone you wouldn't mind getting serious with.

"I just," You continue on, filter long gone. "Sometimes I wanna get back at him, you know? Hurt him like he hurt me."

Nicholas is quiet on the other end and bringing your hand up to chew on your thumb again, nerves growing even more. Maybe you had said too much, complained too much, and he's probably annoyed. He probably regrets telling you that you could complain and that he didn't mind.

"Listen..." Nicholas starts and you're fully expecting him to be upset with you. "This might sound crazy, and tell me if it is, but I think I know how you can get back at him."

You freeze.

"What?" 

"Noah's my best friend, and I love him, but we grew up together. I know how he is." You hear him sigh on the other end. "It was shitty to lead you on and to make you think it was more than it actually was. I'm not going to sugar coat it."

"Well, we already know that but what's so crazy about it?"

"You didn't let me finish." He huffs out a laugh, and something inside your belly flutters. "The more I think about it the crazier it sounds but... it might not make him hurt like you are, but it'll definitely make him mad."

This interests you, and you find yourself sitting up on the couch. "Oh? Go on."

"Um..." He clears his throat. "Noah gets incredibly jealous and I know he wouldn't know what to do if he saw you with someone else."

"But I'm not." You say with a pout. He laughs again.

"Right." He pauses. "But what if he thought you were?"

"Okay..." You say slowly. It does sound like a good idea, but how would you pull it off? You had nobody to fill in for you. "How would I go about that? There's not exactly anyone jumping at the chance to fake date me."

"That's where the crazy part comes in," He sounds nervous and you can't help but find it almost adorable, the way his voice gets softer as his nerves settle in. "He'd lose his fucking mind if the person you were seeing was someone he knew. A friend of his." Another pause. "...Maybe even a best friend."

Realization dawns on you and you can't help the way your lips part, a gasp slipping from your lips. "Nicholas Ryan."

"Hear me out!” You close your mouth. "Just imagine how pissed he'd get. He wouldn't know what to do. It'd eat at him forever."

You let his words finally sink in, the proposition closeting around your mind. It was crazy, absolutely fucking insane but… it didn’t sound so bad. It actually sounded kind of genius. What bet way could you get back at him if not… fake-date his best friend? You knew Noah and you knew just how bad he’d handle this, and the thought made your body shake in excitement.

“Alright.” You say finally, lips stretching into a smile. “Exactly how would we do this?”

“Well…” Nicholas pauses on the other end, letting out a nervous chuckle. “We’d just try to make him believe we were actually together.”

“Like… hang out at the house and act like we’re going on dates?”

“If you want. Whatever you’re comfortable with.”

You go silent for a moment. “And you think it’ll work?”

“I know it’ll work.” Nicholas says matter-of-factly.

You lean back against the couch and think over your option for a moment. You really had nothing to lose, either Noah will get upset or you’ll get no reaction at all.

“Fuck it. Let’s do it.”

You could practically hear the smile in Nicholas’ voice when he replied with a “Hell yeah,” and your belly fluttered, flipping and turning at the thought of you doing this. It was childish, sure, but you didn’t care. You wanted to get Noah riled up and you knew this was the only way to do it.

You and Nicholas talked over some details before you settled on coming over later that week and then you’d go from there. Later that night when you settled into bed, you felt lighter than you had in weeks, sleep finding you easily.

...

You took a deep breath as you put your car in park and leaned your forehead against your steering wheel. You had been nervous the entire drive over and even drove in complete silence, trying to gather your thoughts. They were too jumbled, you could barely even think straight. Was this a good idea? You turn your head to stare at the house, one you had grown used to months ago, and you feel the pit in your stomach growing. 

This was a terrible idea, you think. You should just put your car in reverse and get the hell out of here, because you're sure your plan wouldn't work. How would it? There's no way Noah would believe you and Nicholas were a thing, you were a terrible actor. Could you really convince Noah that you were actually with Nicholas?

Your phone buzzes in the seat beside you and you huff out a sigh, reaching for it.

let me know when you're here. he's just watching a movie with bryan and jolly right now.

is it too late to back out? idk if i can do this.

You press send before even thinking, pressing your forehead back against the steering wheel. Another text comes through.

it's your choice. i'm cool with whatever, as long as you're comfortable.

i got your back.

For some reason that has your chest blooming in heat. Your eyes flutter shut as you think over your choices, Nicholas' words looming in your mind, and you let out a sigh. I got your back.

meet me at the door? i'm coming up now.

All you get in a response is Nicholas reacting to your message with a heart, but that's enough to calm your nerves and even bring a small smile to your face. You pull the mirror down one last second to give yourself a once over, fixing your hair, and then you're opening the door. You take your time walking up to their house, eyes scanning over your surroundings to see if anything has changed. Nothing has, and it brings some sort of comfort to you.

Before you can even raise a hand to knock at the door, the handle is twisting and you're met with soft eyes and a smile.

"Hey."

You stand there, dumbfounded for a moment, as your eyes scan over Nicholas' face. You can hear someone speaking in the background, along with a movie playing, and you have to swallow down the nerves that are threatening to come back. 

"Hi." You say quietly and give Nicholas a shy smile. He looks behind him before stepping out, closing the door.

"Are you sure you're okay with this?" He asks, face clouded with concern. His lips purse into a pout as he looks down at you. "I don't want you doing this if you're having second thoughts."

You shake your head. "I'm okay. I would've left already if I was that scared."

His frown only deepens. 

"I don't want you feeling like you have to do this. It's a crazy idea. I can understand why you'd be afraid."

His concern for you only makes the heat in your chest expand, feeling it all the way down to the tips of your fingers. He was so worried about how you felt about all of this, wanting to make sure you were comfortable... it was all new to you. It's not like Noah never cared about how you felt, but this was a different feeling. Nicholas was different. You swallow again, reaching out to place a hand on Nicholas' arm.

"This is a crazy idea, but it's one I agreed to." You see him look down at your hand on his arm before looking at you again, and you give him another smile. "I want to do this. Plus, you got my back. Remember?"

This makes him smile, albeit small, and he nods. "Hell yeah I do." 

You stare at him for a beat, smile never wavering before clapping your hands together. “Alright. Let’s do this.”

He opens the door and lets you in first, and you hear Noah before you see him. His voice has you pausing in the hallway, lips dipping into a frown, and you barely notice Nicholas behind you. You jump slightly at the feel of Nicholas' hand against your back as he guides the two of you to the living room. Your stomach turns reveling in the fact Noah has to see you, with Nicholas, because this was the only way to his room.

"Just follow my lead." Nicholas murmurs against your ear and you try to ignore the way your body shivers, heat exploding throughout you. 

You nod.

The second you enter the living room all eyes are on you, and you don't miss the way all the boys do a double take. Both Jolly and Bryan stare at you in enjoyment, lips curled, and you can't help but smile back, sending them a wave. Noah’s face is blank, but you don’t miss the way his eyes narrow at the sight of you and Nicholas together.

"Well, well, well." Bryan's grin only grows and his eyes dart between you, Nicholas, and Noah. "Long time no see."

"Where the hell have you been?" Jolly asks and Bryan chuckles beside him.

They know exactly where you've been, but the fact they still asked with Noah in the room has your smile widening. Especially with how his face is now turned into a scowl.

"Oh, you know." You shrug. "Around."

“With Ruffilo?” Jolly questions, his brows raising. You give another shrug, your cheeks heating up.

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” Nicholas teases, the hand that was on your back now sliding down to rest on your hip. Noah’s eyes follow the movement. You notice, and so does Nicholas, and his hand drops from your hip to circle around your own.  “We’re gonna be upstairs if you need me.”

Jolly whistles. “With everyone home? That’s brave, Nick.”

You can’t help but blush, head dipping down to hide it and Nicholas laughs out, “Fuck you.”

“Dude, shut up.” Noah snaps at Jolly. You look up at that, brows furrowing to find Noah already staring at you. “Since when are you guys friends?”

You frown as the anger begins to build inside of you, his tone immediately setting something off. It was so… accusatory. As if you had done something wrong – which you hadn’t.

“Dude-“ Nicholas starts, but you cut him off.

“We’ve always been friends.” You bite out. “Maybe if you’d paid attention before, you would’ve known that already.”

The room goes silent after that and you take a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down. You look up at Nicholas.

“Can we go now?” You ask quietly, but just loud enough for everyone to hear. He gives you a small smile and nods, facing his friends again.

“Text me if you need me,” He says while starting to tug you towards the stairs, “but don’t need me.”

Jolly and Bryan laugh but Noah remains silent, lips pressed together as he fumes in his seat. Nicholas' hand in yours feels heavy, especially now with the way you m know Noah's staring at your intertwined fingers. Nicholas gives you a supportive squeeze and gently pulls you with him, making his way up the stairs.

"When did this happen?" Noah follows after the two of you and you press your lips together, eyes rolling. 

"Like it matters?" You mumble, turning to look back at him. "We weren't serious. I can see whoever I want to."

"So, you chose my best friend?"

"I didn't choose anyone, Noah." You groan and stop at the top of the stairs, Nicholas still tugging at your hand. You don’t miss the way Noah is glaring at his best friend behind you. "Not everything is about you."

This has him stopping on the bottom step, looking at you as if you’ve just wounded him before turning into anger at the sound of Jolly and Bryan erupting into ooooh’s. You know a few months ago you would’ve doubled down and apologized, but right now all you want to do is laugh. It felt good making him feel bad, as crazy as it sounded, and the second you reach Nicholas’ room you feel as if you’ve finally made it to the end of the race.

The hard part is over.

You finally let out the breath you had been holding when Nicholas shut the door. He leans forward, pressing his ear to the door for a moment before taking a step back and looking over at you, his lips tugging up into a smirk.

"He's still out there." He whispered, just loud enough for you to hear. "He looked so fucking pissed, dude."

You have to press your hand against your mouth, trying to muffle the giggles that threaten to spill. You feel like a kid, pulling a stupid prank on your friend on the playground, but you can't help how exciting it feels. You wonder just how pissed Noah is, thinking that his ex or whatever you were to him moved on... to his best friend. 

"Did you see the look on his face when you grabbed my hand?" You press your lips together and let your eyes shut, taking a deep breath to stop your laughter. "Holy shit. That was priceless."

“I’m definitely gonna get chewed out for this but it’s so worth it.”

Nicholas makes his way over to his bed and flops down onto it, laughing to himself and he doesn't bother holding it back. You follow his lead, sitting down beside him as you finally let your own giggle release, falling onto your back. The two of you lay there, giggling like children, and you hadn't even realized all the tension that was once in your body has fully vanished. 

Call yourself hateful, but it felt good to see the look on Noah's face. To see him so upset. You're not sure if he was exactly hurt in the same way that you were, but you knew he was pissed. That's enough for you. It also felt good to just laugh, something you haven't done in a while, and you turn your head to look at Nicholas. He's still laughing, face scrunched in amusement and that same warm feeling in your chest comes back. 

"Thank you." You hum quietly, and Nicholas' laughter dies out. He turns his head to look at you and he smiles, bright and big.

"Of course." He mumbles. "I got your back. Remember?"

He echoes your words back to you and this makes you smile, hand reaching out for his own that laid on the bed. You find that it feels easy to intertwine your fingers with his and you give his hand a squeeze. He returns it back.

"What do we do now?" You question after a moment, hand slipping from his. You swear you see his face fall for a split second.

He sits up then, running a hand through his hair. "Well. We let him believe whatever he wants about what we're doing in here and..." He gives you a shrug, grinning down at you. "We hang out, I guess. Watch a movie or something."

You nod at his words, resting your hands against your stomach,

“Sounds good to me.”

And so, you do. He puts on a show he'd been watching recently, an anime that you didn't know the name of, and the two of you laid side by side as the episode played. You had watched a few anime’s with Noah when you two were together, but you never really found yourself getting into them. You're not sure what's different this time around, but you find yourself asking Nicholas questions every so often. You ask about the plot which he happily obliged, going into great detail about them.

It was nice, you think. You quickly realized you liked hearing him talk. His voice was soft, but low. It had a very calming tone to it, one that always put you at ease. You think you could sit and listen to Nicholas talk for hours and never get bored.

One episode turned into two, and two episodes turn into four, and before you know it, it’s already dark outside.

“Shit. What time is it?” Nicholas says beside you, reaching for his phone. You turned to look at him, eyes widening when you realized just how close the two of you had gotten in the few hours you’d spent here.

A part of you felt the need to be even closer. You shake it off, sitting up on his bed and stretching out your limbs as Nicholas spoke again.

“Dude, it’s literally nine o’clock.”

“It didn’t even feel that long.” You watch as he rolls off his bed, stretching, before looking down at you. “Sorry I kept you here so long. Once I get started on a show I can’t stop.”

“It’s okay. I actually really liked it.” You say earnestly, standing up from the bed. He smiles.

“Yeah?”

“Of course.”

“We’ll have to finish the next episode the next time you come over then, if you want.”

For some reason the words next time has your body heating up, skin buzzing with something you can’t exactly place. You smile up at him.

“I’m down.”

He waits for as you grab your things and the two of you make your way back downstairs. It’s much quieter than it had been earlier, but Noah and Jolly were still on the couch, but they had switched places at some point. You don’t bother glancing at Noah, though you feel his glare, and send a wave to Jolly.

“Leaving already?” Jolly says, a playful pout slipping onto his lips.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be back.” You hear Noah snort, and you take a chance to glance at him, seeing the boy roll his eyes. You have to stop yourself from smirking.

You got him.

“You better.” Jolly’s eyes move to Nicholas. “Next time don’t hog her, man. Let her come out and say hi or something.”

“I make no promises.” Nicholas teases, placing his hand against the small of your back. Your skin prickles in goosebumps at the feeling and you find yourself leaning into his touch.

Jolly laughs but sends you both off with a wave, Noah’s eyes following you until you’re out of sight and by the door.

You let out the breath you had been holding.

“Doing alright?” Nicholas mumbles. You nod and try to give him a reassuring smile.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” You speak. “Thank you for doing this again, you really didn’t have to.”

"Hey, what are friends for? Also, it was literally my idea.” Nicholas murmurs, smiling down at you. “… Text me when you get home?”

You've already forgotten about Noah in the living room, most likely trying to eavesdrop on your conversation, too busy finding yourself getting lost in Nicholas' eyes. You nod. 

"Of course."

His smile widens, which you didn't think was possible, and he leans forward to brush his lips against your forehead. You freeze, eyes widening at the action. You had talked about making it believable on the phone, but you didn't expect him to go this far. You also didn't expect to like the feeling of his lips against your skin as much as you did.

You both whisper your goodbyes, and you find yourself back in your car, hands gripping the steering wheel. 

That went a lot easier than you thought.

...

This goes on for a few weeks.

You come over a few times a week to hang out, sometimes in Nicholas' room and sometimes in the living room when Jolly begs you two to join him and Noah for a movie. The first time was awkward, and you knew Jolly only did it to be an ass, but after a while it stopped being so awkward and started to become... normal. 

Noah didn’t speak to you, and according to Nicholas he didn’t speak to him either for a good two weeks. He’d only ever glare at the two of you during your movie nights or when you both made your way upstairs, and at first you loved it. You loved that you got under his skin so much that every time you were around, he was seething. It made you feel good, as crazy as it sounds.

Eventually, though, you stopped caring.

You don’t know when it happened, or when you stopped coming over to piss off Noah, but it happened. You and Nicholas started hanging out more, even outside of the house, and you found yourself enjoying his company more than you ever thought you would.  You were starting to anticipate his texts, and even his calls, your belly erupting in butterflies every time you saw his name flash across your screen.

Some crazy part of you thinks that maybe Nicholas had stopped caring too.

Even in the quiet of his room where no one else was around, he was always touching you. Arm wrapped around you as you curled into his side, fingers twisting and twirling in your hair as you two finished another episode of his – and yours – current favorite anime. Sometimes he’d be the one curled up against you, his head resting against your stomach as you laid out on his bed, listening to him talk about why Episode 3 was the best out of the prequels.

It didn’t shock you too much when you finally sat down with your thoughts about everything – Nicholas, Noah, yourself – and with the help of your friends, you came to the conclusion that you weren’t pretending anymore. You had feelings for Nicholas, and the thought was equally terrifying and exciting in every way.

You find yourself back at the front door after spending a few hours there and Nicholas is already leaning down to press a kiss to your forehead, like he always does when you leave. Your eyes flutter shut and you lean into the feeling, letting yourself enjoy it for once, and you lift your head up. He pulls back, briefly, and your eyes open to stare into his. 

You can feel Noah's eyes on you both, the first time he has in weeks, but for some reason you can’t find it in yourself to care all that much. Nicholas gives you a gentle smile and you can't help but let your eyes drop to his lips, before gazing back up. He catches it, brows furrowing and head tilting, and you lean up again.

"You should kiss me." You whisper, eyes darting back to his lips.

He swallows. "What?"

"Noah's watching." You whisper again. "We gotta make it believable, right?"

You watch as he blinks from your eyes down to your lips. He does it a few times, staring at you in silence, and you know that he knows. Noah doesn’t care anymore, even though he’s watching. Nicholas knows you’ve already made it as believable as you could, but he still goes along with it. Your breath catches in your throat when you feel him reach up and tuck a piece of hair behind your ear before leaning down, forehead pressing against yours.

"...Yeah. You're right. We do." He breathes out and you physically shake at the feeling of his breath ghosting your lips. 

You don't move at first, and neither does he, and you let your eyes flutter shut as your fingers come to circle around the flannel that hung off of him. Your fingers curl around the material the second he leans forward, capturing your lips with his. Both hands come up now to cup your face, Nicholas' thumbs brushing over your cheeks, and you'd have half a mind to be embarrassed by the sound that escapes you, but you're too caught up in him. 

Nicholas is the first to pull away, but you don't move, you don't even open your eyes. You can hear your heart thudding against your chest, and you have to take a deep breath to try and calm yourself down. His hands still cup your cheeks, and he tilts your head forward slightly, pressing yet another tender kiss to your forehead.

"Text me when you get home." 

You don't miss the waver in his voice, and you finally open your eyes to look up at him. You see something in his eyes shift, something much softer than you've ever seen, and it makes your heart flutter. You give him a small nod and try not to frown when his hands fall from your face. You drop your hands from his flannel, and he gives you a smile, but there's something behind it.

You think about it (and his lips) the entire drive home.

[rulerzreachf4n7]

I'm sorry but I fucking hate proshippers so much so here's a whole post dedicated to shitting on them

also disclaimer YES I will be tagging the proship and anti proship tags so I can piss off the chronically online basement dwelling idiots :) and idgaf if proshippers have trauma cause it's not an excuse for their shitty and problematic actions!!!! Sincerely if you are a proshipper please consider jumping off a bridge!! Or at the bare minimum take a shower cause ew

And this whole post is literally just bullying the FUCK outta them so idk stanky people come at your own risk lol

AND AGAIN to clear up this isn't like rage bait or smth cause I fell like some people will accuse me this is all my genuine hate into a long ass post so yeah

Okay...LETS GET INTO THE FUCKING RANT NOW HEHEHE HEHE HEHEHE!!!!

I FUCKING HATE PROSHIPPERS!!!! I HOPE ALL OF YOU STANKY ASS BITCHESS GET THROWN OFF A FUCKING CLIFF AND GET A SAW STYLE EXECUTION CAUSE Y'ALL ARE FUCKING DISGUSTING I HATE YOU ALL

YOU ARE MENTALLY ILL IF YOU ARE A PROSHIPPER, END OF CONVERSATION

I COULDN'T GIVE A SHIT IF YOU HIT ME THE "B-But I have trauma 🥺🥺🥺" TOO BAD THAT'S NOT A FUCKING EXCUSE FOR UR SHITTY ONLINE ACTIONS

IMAGINE YOU PULL UP TO A FUCKING INTERVIEW AND THEY SHOW YOUR PATHETIC ACCOUNTS SAYING TO NORMALIZE A 30 YEAR OLD DATING A 13 YEAR OLD, THAT SHIT IS GENUINELY PATHETIC

I KNOW IT'S CRINGEY BUT WOMP WOMP IF UR A PROSHIPPER Y'ALL ARE UGLY AND STINKY

But now on a serious not hehe, the reason I'm making this isn't JUST soley to yknow shit on people who are mentally ill like people who think a MINOR and a LEGAL ADULT are allowed to date, which comes into another thing before I get genuine so bare with me lol

I DONT GIVE A FLYING FUCK IF IT'S FICTIONAL, FOR THE LOVE GOD PLEASE SEARCH UP THE SLENDERMAN CASE WHERE THESE TWO GIRLS KILLED THEIR FRIEND CAUSE THEY THOUGHT SLENDERMAN WAS REAL AND THOUGHT THEY WOULD ENTER HIS KINGDOM AND BE WITH HIM, AND HE'S FICTIONAL, THAT CASE IS ALL Y'ALL NEED TO REALIZE FICTION CAN AFFECT REALITY AND I HAVE SM MORE REASON TO BACK THIS UP BUT I'M TOO LAZY TO TYPE IT OUT 😭

Okay! Back to seriousness I just thought I'd add that in as a little addition hehe >_<

So, like I said before, I lowkey just added this as an extra part cause I couldn't shit on proshippers FOREVER (lowkey bcuz I was running out of insults n threats lol)

Nonetheless I have a reason for shitting on them, although not being a proshipper EXACTLY I have been through I guess, similar paths as they have? Best way I could describe it ig, ofc not sharing what I mean since it's private but let's just say I was an unfortunate child looking at inappropriate comics 🙁

The reason for this part of the post...ITS NOT THAT FUCKING HARD TO STOP WHAT YOUR DOING

Like I said, I was never a proshipper, but I have been in similar situations as they have been, although I've never made an account glorifying rape, SA, grooming, pedophilia, I can just assume what I would do in their places

Dear proshippers,

Your probably complaining and not knowing why your getting so much death threats and harassment along with a side of hate (rightfully so you deserve them) and your mental health might be low

Please know it is your fault for making your accounts in the first place, you are a terrible person for saying all of these things such as rape, sexual assault, grooming, and incest are okay and you are not mentally well

And your probably wondering,

"How do I stop the hate, harassment, and probably death threats with even getting your address leaked?"

It's simple, DELETE YOUR FUCKING ACCOUNT, or even worse just turn off ur comments but that won't help with people slipping in a few people wishing death up in you through DMS

IT IS GENUINELY NOT THAT FUCKING HARD

I don't know what trauma you have but it shouldn't (and never in the first place) be SO BAD to the point where you physically CANNOT deactivate your account, IT IS SO FUCKING EASY AND YOU'LL SAVE YOURSELF A FEW SUICIDAL THOUGHTS

I know everyone one is different, but if you are a proshipper that has trauma, you shouldn't have a fucking account to begin with, and you ARE THE PROBLEM if you acknowledge the trauma, noticing you keep supporting and glorifying problematic actions, complain that you keep getting harassed and wonder why, and you just don't give a shit, not like in a "oh I don't know what to do anymore!!! 🥺🥺🥺" way, in a "oh, I don't give a shit I live for incest and adults grooming children!!!" Way, and ur also probably a pedo if ur an adult proshipper too

So, what else? Yeah, there's a shit more, but onto a better side, ones with actually good coping mechanisms!!

And a bit of a disclaimer, if your rage bait is proshipping, genuinely fuck you, and if ur a proshipper who acknowledges everything bad about it and just doesn't give a fuck, fuck you too and seek a rope to hang around your neck you fucking pedophile

Okay, coping mechanisms! I know this is probably not the best option due to most trauma which I'm guessing is probably from a family member, if it's not a good way to cope is some clean to your family, ofc under some circumstances it's NOT the best option, but if you can you definitely should try!

Also google is free yk...literally search up healthy coping mechanisms and it'll give you a huge ass list, and yet YOU STILL chose to ship a minor and adult together...how unfortunate...

Another way to cope is, and genuinely sounds pathetic as hell but bare with me...CHARACTER FUCKING AI, I mean, there are therapist bots so maybe they can help you??? And in all honesty they're really good at comforting and giving advice despite being ai, and I've tried it before...yeah embarrassed to say I've shed a tear every once in a while

And the last one IF you have the money, time, and generally the courage, book a threapy session, I cannot stress it enough, but I won't be surprised cause every proshipper is probably under the age of 16 years old

Yuhhh anyways that's all I gotta say, I know it's cringey asf but womp womp to proshippers I hate y'all despite giving some coping mechanisms and ACTUAL ways to like, stop the rightful hate you deserve lol

[snowblossomreads]

Day 3: The Snowball Effect

Pairing: Eli Michaelson x StudentFem!Reader

Summary: [Y/n] goes to her professor in need of a lesson of how chemical reactions work. They opt for a more practical demonstration.

Tag(s)/Warning(s): age gap, student/professor. dubious moral, oral (male receiving) and a wild usage of the prompt (throws holy water at myself)

Word Count: 2.1K

A/N: @deepperplexity I want to apologize for the way I used this prompt. 🤣It's a reflection of me as a person and I am flawed LOL. Thank you for understanding. Now lets get to the story while I go get some help 🤣🤣

MDNI

A different way to describe a chain reaction as he told [Y/n] was to imagine a snowball going down a hill and accumulating more snow as it went down before finally accumulating enough to cause an avalanche.

He explained to her that she should focus on how the snowball rolling down hill was the initiation of the reaction, followed by propagation - it accumulating more snow as it rolled down the hill becoming an avalanche at the end and finally, the termination of the reaction. When the avalanche finally comes to a stop and loses all its momentum and forward energy. That's how he said she should think about it.

After the explanation, he asked her if she had any more questions as she had stared at him with a bit of a confused twinkle in her eye. And something more.

"Dr. Michaelson-."

"Eli dear call me Eli."

"Eli I've never seen snow before. I think I might need a more practical example of this."

Who was he to not oblige his pretty little undergrad who had come to him for help?

"A practical demonstration you say? Well you're in luck," he drawled, a hungry grin on his lips as he eyed the woman sitting across from him who was shamelessly rubbing her thighs together already, excited for what was to come. "It just so happens that I was going to add one of those practical demonstrations to my syllabus. Mind helping me see how effective it is in teaching?"

She didn't even have to think about her answer as she popped up from her seat quickly and walked around the desk to his side only to find him rubbing his already freed cock that had an angry red looking head that seemed ready to burst.

When had he had time to do that?

Never mind that she was more interested in the demonstration as he had so called it as she dropped to her knees in front of him. Maybe she shouldn't have worn the skirt considering how seasonally cold the floor was. She should ask him to turn on the heat next time knowing he would probably continue to insist on her wearing something well…accessible.

Turning his chair so that he was facing her and she was facing his cock, Eli removed his hand from himself before directing the kneeling woman to wrap her hand around him firmly but not too tightly.

"That's right wrap your fingers around it and feel free to squeeze oh that's it," he hissed as her cooler digits did as he commanded causing his hips bucking up at the temperature contrast. The contrast of temperatures brought an interesting sensation that was not at all unpleasurable as his cock twitched at the feeling.

"Good girl that's right, now go ahead and move your hand up and down and keep that grip of yours," he directed in a low grunt as she did as he told her.

"Like this sir?" She asked with a tone of innocence as she began to pump the thick member with a practiced paced that he wondered if she had been practicing with any of the boys in her class.

No no, he kept her occupied enough.

"Exactly ah fuck you learn quick don't you," he praised letting out a loud sigh of pleasure to let her know how much he was enjoying the hand job.

"Now open that mouth of yours and lick all around the tip, don't forget the slit ugh fuck yes that's my girl…then I want you to fuck your mouth with my cock can you do that?"

"Yes sir," she answered with no hesitation as she bowed her head, fingers still pumping his pulsing member before she was flicking her tongue around his tip and tasting the warm velvet flesh.

She tested the waters with light kitten licks around the head and small kisses before dipping her tongue in the sensitive slit that had Eli grabbing the arms of his chair and thrusting upwards involuntarily.

"Ugh Uhhn!"

Someone was sensitive today she thought briefly but she had no qualms about that as she continued doing as he had told her. She did enjoy hearing his grunts and groans as she alternated between rubbing his slit with her thumb, smearing him arousal and licking him clean. The salty tang of him was addicting as she swallowed the liquid each time it touched the tip of her tongue and soon enough she was sucking him off with her cheeks hollowed and noisy moans leaving her.

She bobbed her head up and down on his shaft while her hands grabbed at his thighs for purchase as she took more of him down her throat with each pass of her lips. Over and over wet gags filled the room along with expletives coming from Eli who was letting her do all the work of demonstrating his practical explanation of what a snowball effect looked like.

Though she wasn't sure if they were quite there yet.

"Fuck that's it use that little greedy mouth, fuck naughty little thing," he praised as she moaned and gagged on him yet went to take more until she was burying her face in his lap at one point.

It drew out a loud elongated raspy groan from the older man as he sat upright suddenly from the shock of pleasure that filled his veins. His sudden action caused his cock to slide deeper down her throat than she was prepared for causing her to almost choke. Yet she held her composure only letting out a loud whimper as he began to lift his hips up slowly thrusting into her already stuffed mouth.

"Oh god I'm enjoying this, ugh so much fuck gonna come in that little mouth of yours," he loudly grunted as his hand found the back of her head and began to push it down in tandem with his thrusts. "Don't swallow do you fuck understand? It's essential you keep all my semen in you mouth when I come!"

"Mhmmh mhmm!" She could only hum her understanding which only caused his cock to feel like it had hardened even more in her mouth at the vibrations.

That only meant one thing, and within in a few more moments of thrusting he came with a noisy shout of her name as as his sticky salty seed began to coat the inside of her mouth.

It was so much that she was scared he might drown her with it as he had told her not to swallow and she was keen on obeying. Thankfully he must have known how much she could take as he was pushing her off his cock only to have a few spurts paint her face causing her to let out a garbled whine.

She held her mouth closed though as she watched him lean back on his chair. Hair and shirt disheveled, face red and sweat beading on his forehead from the exertion of well...having her give him a blowjob for the sake of education.

"Now come sit here," he panted out pointing at his lap. "Open your mouth and let's see if we've collected enough of our test sample."

Scrambling up from the floor, she quickly planted herself on the knee of his spread legs before opening her mouth showing the pearly liquid that she held in her mouth.

Humming in approval at the sight, Eli ran his hand up her body before giving her tit a nice firm squeeze causing her to shut her mouth and groan at his touch.

"Excellent, with that we can do the actual demonstration, all you need to do is kiss me to start the reaction, oh you like the sound of that don't you?" He teased when she let out a low whine at his direction that was accompanied by him squeezing her side causing her to make another squeak.

"After that you just need to deposit our sample into my mouth, and then I'll give it back to you, and we'll do it oh about five times should be enough to get the point across. We can redo it later if we need to try again. Now come on let's get to work."

Hand cupping the back of her head and pushing it forward without warning, Eli pressed his lips against the woman's harshly licking at the seams of it before she was opening them and letting his cum slip into his mouth.

He groaned at the taste as it was now mixed with her saliva making it even sticker as he added his own before swapping it with her again. It was a messy process and [Y/n] was sure there was a bit running down her chin but it didn't stop her from letting him spit the substance in her open and waiting mouth before she was adding more to the mess.

They did this five times as he instructed, each time the ball of saliva and cum mixing before it was back in [Y/n]'s mouth causing her to puff her cheeks as the volume of liquid had indeed increased with them swapping it back and forth.

Taking a pleased look at her, Eli swooped down and gave her one last kiss before commanding her to.

"Swallow."

She did with a barely audible 'gulp' as he watched with a devious smirk plastered on his face.

"And that's what we call a snowball effect, I think it's a great way to teach don't you think?"

"Mhmm, but I think we may need to retry it.”

"Really and why's that?"

"Well Eli I think the sample loss some of it's volume due to human error," she pointed out, though her voice took on a teasing tone as she swiped some of the cum that had landed on her cheek and proceeded to suck it off her digits. His eyes followed her movements and he let out a soft groan, shifting in his seat as he felt his cock twitch at her salacious action.

"And I want to make sure I have a concrete understanding. Can't let my professor down now can I?"

Smirking at her 'reasoning' the older man could only let out a amused laugh before his hand trailed down and squeezed her ass causing her to moan and push herself closer to him.

"Such a studious student Ms. [Y/n], well then, let's repeat the expriment and see if we can improve our sample collection technique."

A/N: I just I'm so sorry LOLOLOL. No actually I'm not 🤣I hope u guys enjoyed this unhinged mess.

[iamnmbr3]

you know what's sooo stupid to me that it's almost bound to drive me crazy?!

The fact that whenever i see you sharing tom riddle metas about how traumatized he was and trying to look from his pov, i think that FUCKING MAIN VILLAIN, lunatic voldemort who was a reason for so many deaths and did everything to achieve his end is vastly understood. bellatrix, the cruelest witch(after umbridge lol), who knows nothing but voldemort has a not lil fandom

BUT jkr says Draco doesn't deserve fans' love & THERE IS NO GOOD INSIDE HIM (says about the guy who despite his environment and his own desire couldn't be bad & cruel..even if coward, still he didn't do several things in spite of his fears) so we shouldn't be that attached to him!!!!

And many people agree!!!! Like is Draco the only bad guy here? Is he actually a bad guy?

Like🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯

(i don't have any problem with you guys talking about tom riddle or bellatrix having fans, just the injustice of it makes me insane)

First off, thanks for your patience in waiting for an answer to this ask! Second of all, I think two things are going on here. On the one hand, we have the fandom response to the series. On the other hand we've got JKR's response. While it's true that Tom Riddle and Bellatrix both have their fans (most of whom acknowledge the problematic things their faves have done - and indeed find their flawed actions and complexity to be part of their appeal) within fandom spaces the same is very much true of Draco. He is an extremely popular character within fandom. On AO3 he is the third most tagged character (after Harry and Hermione), drarry is the number one most written about ship, and dramione comes in at number 3. So I think in fandom spaces Draco gets a lot of attention and there's generally an interest in and understanding of the fact that he's a complex and grey character and not by any means a one-note bad guy.

However, JK Rowling does not seem to share that view at all. She's been very dismissive of his character and of fans who like him on a number of occasions and indeed seems irritated by his popularity - even though it is driven by writing choices SHE made. She claims Draco never got a redemption arc even though she herself wrote that he ultimately changed his opinions and behaviors...aka had a redemption arc. She seems to be someone who has a great deal of trouble admitting she was wrong and who is also very threatened by anyone having a different interpretation or view of something that what she wants. So I think she's especially bothered by people responding to Draco - particularly because she's on such shaky ground. Most Bellatrix fans admit she was a die-hard Death Eater - and indeed that's something they embrace about her character - so that's probably not as threatening to JKR as people pointing out that Draco changed his mind is. I think she also hates drarry.

And yeah it strikes me as really unfair that she singles out Draco fans and claims anyone who likes him is just a girl who is confused due to being attracted to the actor (wow. way to be heteronormative, misogynist, and a misandrist all in one go). Which is bizarre and problematic on so many levels and also especially weird when she has no problem with Snape fans or Regulus fans and doesn't seem to think that a similar problem could occur with people thinking Tom Riddle had a redemption arc just bc the character is canonically attractive and played by an actor generally considered to be attractive in the second film for example.

[crimson-calligraphyx]

Tag List: @cheyfi @kingdomof-omens @daylightlvrs @blade-in-red @ladyveronikawrites @jay02bo @itsmrsfuentes @cncohshit @catj422 @lma1986 @chels3a-smile @kiwi475

A/N: sexual content. Sorry the chapter is lengthy lol.

Even though I was glad that Noah convinced me to see the guys last night, getting up this morning absolutely sucked. I stayed up much longer than I should have, and I was exceptionally fatigued rolling out of bed because of it, but it was worth it. It had been a long time since I've laughed as hard as I had.

I really need it, and it made me realize how much I missed them. It's been what? Two or three months? And they still welcomed me in with open arms, Folio especially, literally picking me up and spinning me around.

That dumbass. I swear his goal in life is to give Noah a brain aneurysm, always getting a rise out of him from his actions, even though it was all in good fun.

I chuckled to myself at the thought as I continued making my way around the bakery, tallying what items were in stock and making notes of what needed to be ordered. Both the flour and sugar were getting low, and I dreaded lifting each 50 lb bag to refill the bins, but it had to be done. With a huff, I put my checklist on the counter and squatted down, positioning the bag in a way it would be easiest for me to lift.

"Excuse me, what do you think you're doing?" "Jesus fucking Christ!" I about jumped out of my skin hearing Noah's disapproving voice cut through the silence. Straightening up, I placed a hand over my erratic heart and turned to see him standing there with his arms folded over his chest. "No, it's your husband, Noah," he deadpans. I rolled my eyes. "Ha ha, very funny," I puffed out a breath, combing a hand through my bangs. "Seriously though, what are you doing here?"

A smirk breaks through his unusual scowl as he uncrosses his arms and closes the gap between us. "Stopping you from doing what you're not supposed to be doing," he scolds playfully before squatting and lifting the bag of flour with ease. "You know you're not supposed to lift more than 20 pounds, Liv." "It was only for a second—" "I don't care," he laughs incredulously. "Doc said no heavy lifting, so no heavy lifting. Where's this going?" I sighed, motioning my hand towards the bin behind him. "You probably shouldn't be either," I grumbled.

He lays the bag over the bin, shooting me a pointed look. I put my hands up in surrender, knowing the next words out of his mouth were going to be something about how he's not carrying a tiny human, and stepped around him to retrieve a knife. I hand it over to him and he quickly cuts open the bag and empties the contents, crumpling it before tossing it in the trash. He then moves onto the next bag.

"Thank you," I say once he's finished. "I'm sorry, I'm just used to doing this by myself." He gives me a light smile, brushing my bangs back before kissing my forehead. "I know, love, I know. But you gotta let me help you, especially now." I slip my arms around his torso and look up at him with a bashful smile, a blush crawling over my cheeks. "I know. I didn't want to bother you, with your breathing and all." He shakes his head, disregarding me. "Don't. I know my limits, and I'm more than happy to help." He cups my cheek, delicately running his thumb across my still-flushed skin. "Let's finish this up and head back home to relax." "I'm here until noon, though."

He places both hands on my hips and scrunches his mouth to the side, mulling over my statement. "Okay, so we finish this, you finish your shift, and I'll have lunch ready for you. Anything you want. Then we'll relax. How's that sound?" His thumb slides under my shirt and delicately rubs against my side, causing me to wriggle in his grasp from the sensation. "Sounds like a date," I giggled. His dark eyes glistened, crinkling in the outer corners as he smiles at my words, and my heart flutters at the sight. "It's a date," he reiterates, giving my hips a light squeeze. I stand on my toes and give him a quick kiss before returning to the task on hand, trying to fight the warmth swirling in my stomach and the giddy smile from spreading across my face.

Though I hadn't been expecting his help today, I was more than grateful for it as he took care of the freezer, which also involved some heavy lifting. However, my heart sank with concern when he emerged from the walk-in; he was having a full-blown coughing fit, having to brace himself over the 3-base sink. And as usual, he insisted he was fine, but with a heavy eye roll I forced him to sit down and catch his breath while I brewed him a cup of tea.

He took the steaming cup with a sheepish smile, holding it up to his nose and breathing deep. "Thanks, love," he exhales, taking a hesitant sip. He winces when he burns his tongue, swallowing harshly. "Watch out, it's hot," I tease with a wink. "Why don't you head on home after you finish that? We're about done with inventory, and Juliana and Holly will be here any minute now to set up shop." "You sure you don't need anything else from me?" he questions, running a comforting hand down my arm and taking hold of my hand with a squeeze. I squeezed his hand in return with a polite shake of my head, just as the girls make their way in.

"Morning, Liv!" Jules chimes, stopping short when she sees I'm not alone. "Oh, and good morning to you, too, Noah." She grins and puts her belongings on a hook, walking by us to preheat the oven. "Wasn't expecting to see you here. How've you been?" "Not so bad, just helping Liv with inventory. She's a little sluggish this morning," he muses, winking at me, which earns him a light smack on his shoulder from me. "How are you? And Holly?" He leans forward to peer behind me.

Holly quietly greets us, hanging her things up and slipping her apron on, immediately engaging into work mode.

"Don't mind her, she's not a morning person, as ironic as it is for someone who works at a bakery. Especially on inventory day," Juliana murmurs when Noah quirks an eyebrow. "Anyway, I'm good. Keeping busy here." She pulls the muffin trays from under the oven, setting them on the counter with a loud clatter. "You wanna help with some baking?" she jokes. "I already did," Noah says quiet enough so that only I could hear, wagging his brows at me before glancing down at my belly. He snickers when I once again hit him lightly on the shoulder.

"Actually, he was just leaving," I answered for him, pulling him to his feet. "But I haven't finished my tea," he feigns a whine, only to laugh when I shot daggers at him. "Alright, alright, I'm going. I'll see you at home for lunch. Be good." My cheeks burn hot, hoping they wouldn't question what he meant by 'be good'. "Noah," I hiss his name, beginning to push him towards the exit. "That's enough out of you." He snorts, finally walking towards the back door with me in tow. "What? I just want you to have a good day, that's all." There's a tone in his voice, and I know he's trying not to laugh.

I fold my arms over my chest when we're out of sight, glowering at him, unamused. "Not funny. You know I don't want anyone to know yet." "Relax, they're not gonna know you're pregnant just because I told you to be good," he rolls his eyes. "Anyways," he sighs, "I'll see you at home. Relax and try to have a good day, okay?" I mutter a quick 'okay', and he flashes me a small smile after kissing me goodbye.

When I returned to the kitchen, Juliana was working away at getting the muffins baked, pouring the batter that Holly had prepared into the tins. She glances up at me when she senses my presence and smirks—my stomach churns uncomfortably. She knows.

She doesn't say anything though, just carries on with baking, that devious curl never leaving her lips, and I wasn’t sure if that made me feel better or worse. I shake my head at myself and take a deep breath, picking up the checklist, hoping to settle my nerves by distracting myself with finishing inventory.

"It's nice to see you happy," Juliana says as I hear her open the oven doors, the whoosh of the fans blowing out a gust of heat. "Hm?" I quirk a brow, peeling my eyes away from my list. My heart jumps to my throat when I see that smug grin on her face again. "I said it's nice to see you happy. It's been a while since I've seen you smile like that." She states, placing one of the muffin tins on a rack. I furrow my brows. "Like what?" "He teases you and you get flustered, then you have this goofy smile on your face that I know you're trying to hide. It's cute; you guys are cute."

Scarlet crosses over my cheeks once again and I breathe out a quick 'Oh'—that's what that smirk was about earlier.

"Like that," she laughs, putting the last muffin tin in and shutting the oven doors. I hadn't even noticed I had been grinning at her words. "Yeah, well..." Clearing my throat, I avert my eyes to my checklist with a bashful chuckle. "Honestly, things weren't great between me and Noah for a while there, and I thought I lost him." I admit, having never told the girls why I hadn't been quite myself the last few months. "Recently, things have been getting better, and as silly as it sounds, I feel like I'm crushing on my husband all over again." "It's not silly, Liv." She turns to me after setting the timer on the oven, a genuine smile on her face. "It's a good thing. Whatever you thought you had lost was never really lost, it just got a little buried. You just had to do some digging, is all."

There's a warmth that swirls in my stomach, and spreads to my chest as I think about how much things have turned around as of late; how much effort Noah has put into mending what had been damaged.

I pushed him away, and I was the reason he developed that godforsaken disease, yet he still came running to my side when I needed him—after a fucking month of not speaking to one another. He was suffering, barely able to breathe, but he still did what he could to support me no matter how hard it was for him.

Coming to my appointments, running to the store to get me necessities when I asked him not to, showing up here at the bakery to make sure I wasn't doing anything over strenuous, and helping me because he knew that I would.

Now, every time I lay eyes on him, there's this pang of remorse knowing what I've been putting him through—but it always gets swarmed and consumed by the butterflies coming to life inside of me as soon as I see that grin on his face. His dark irises seem to light up with adoration as he smiles down at me, and I swear there's a surge of electricity between us whenever he places a gentle hand on me.

This was how it was when this all began; we're so close to getting back to what we were—I can almost taste it.

-

Rushing through the front door due to the unexpected rain, I cursed at myself for not having at least a hooded jacket for my walk home from the bakery. That, and never thinking to check the damn weather before going into work.

With a huff, I placed my belongings down just as Noah makes his way around the corner to meet me at the entryway. "What happened to you?" he chuckles, turning to head down the hall and returning with a towel. "I didn't know it was supposed to rain," I whined, starting to walk towards our bedroom and stopping when I took note of the living room.

The sectional was set up in a way where we could comfortably lie down with the back and armrests bordering us, a large blanket fanned out over the cushions. The lights were set low, the LEDs casting an amber glow against the far wall behind the TV—which was displaying a view of a sunrise at the beach, turquoise waves slowly rolling over the sand and back.

Noah drapes the towel over my shoulders and I turn towards him as he wraps it over the front of me. I take hold of it and clutch it to my chest, smiling up at him. "What is all this?" He shrugs, fighting back a proud smile while rubbing my upper arms to spread some warmth across my chilled skin. "Well, I wanted to take you down to the beach but as you can see, it's raining." He humors with a light laugh, and I roll my eyes. "So, I did what I could to bring the beach to you."

My heart swells at the thoughtfulness, tears immediately springing to my eyes. "You're too much," I say as my lips tremble, and he doesn't waste a second to stop them by kissing me. I melt into him, warmth radiating through my whole body as our lips sync together, practically leaving me breathless. We break apart slightly, our mouths open, both of us breathing in to get an ample amount of air before crashing together again.

I can taste the salt from my tears against his lips while his hand cups my cheek, brushing them away with his thumb. He smiles into our kiss, a chuckle vibrating against my lips. "Stop crying," he whispers. I giggle and pull away, sniffling while wiping the remaining tears away. "I'm sorry, I just wasn't expecting this." "All I did was move the couch and put a YouTube video of the ocean up," he laughs. "It's really not all that much." "Maybe to you, but you know the sunrise holds a special meaning to me."

He brandishes a gentle smile, eyelids hooded as he stares down at me with candor heavy in his eyes. "I know," he runs a hand down the length of my damp hair. "Let's get you changed into some dry clothes and have some lunch. I had sushi delivered right before you got home—" "I can't have sushi, Noah," I frowned. "Raw sushi. I did a little research; everything I got is cooked and low in mercury content." I sighed, grinning. "You are the best."

I trotted to our bedroom and stripped of my damp clothes, draping them over the side of the tub to dry, and stepped into some sweats and one of Noah's hoodies. Knowing my hair would dry in a frizzy mess, I quickly blow-dried it before meeting him back in the living room where he set the sushi and an arrangement of snacks out on the coffee table.

We each grabbed a plate and a pair of chopsticks, choosing what we wanted before settling onto the sectional, sitting with our legs folded in. There was a comfortable silence between us as we ate, the only sounds being the gentle waves and the occasional call of a seagull playing through the surround sound.

I finished my plate first and put it off to the side, resting my head against Noah's shoulder with a smile of contentment. He finishes his food shortly after and wrapped his arm over my shoulders, hugging me close to him. We instinctively unfold our legs and lay back; my head was now on his chest, my leg and arm draped over his body as I snuggled up close to the heat radiating from him.

My eyes flutter shut as he rubs my shoulder, and I couldn't help the grin from spreading across my face. I haven't felt so comfortable, so peaceful and at home, so...complete in far too long, and I owed it all to Noah.

As I laid here in his arms, listening to the calming sounds of the ocean and his deep breathing, I was brought back to the very first time I saw the sunrise. Hues of pink, orange, and yellow erupting from the horizon of cobalt, cascading skyward into baby blue. So beautiful, so mesmerizing, and I knew it would be devastating if I couldn't witness it anymore.

I picked my head up from Noah's shoulder, gazing at the peaceful expression on his face—eyes closed, his lips curled in the tiniest smile as he ever-so-slightly moved his head side to side, most likely to a tune in his head. His expression changes, turning to that of surprise when the next three words flew out of my mouth: "I love you."

He slowly opens his eyes, chocolate irises locking with my blues while his lips part to say something, but nothing comes out. He reaches out and delicately trails his fingertips down my face and to my chin, his thumb brushing over my lips. He still doesn't say anything, just caresses my face as if he expected me to dissolve into thin air at any second.

"What?" I whispered, my stomach churning anxiously. He shakes his head lightly, and my nerves melt away when I watched a smile break across his face. "I just... I didn't think I'd ever hear you say that again." "Oh," I mumbled with shame, dropping my gaze from him. He shifts so he's on his side now, and picks my head up by my chin. "I love you too, Olivia." I can see the tears glossing over his eyes, but he blinks them away and crashes his lips to mine. "So much," he says against them, never fully breaking our kiss.

Desire quickly flares inside of me; he suddenly wasn't close enough. I fist his shirt and roll onto my back, pulling him down with me as one of my legs settle over his hip. Our teeth clack together, and he pulls away slightly to laugh. "Guess these pregnancy hormones give you super strength, huh?" I breathed out a laugh. "I guess so. Now shut up and kiss me." He shakes his head with a snort, "Yes, ma'am."

I lace my fingers into his hair as we reconnect, holding him close to me, and in that moment, I'm flooded in all the ways I missed him. I felt starved. As if he could sense it, his tongue lashes out, gliding against my bottom lip, and I meet his with mine—tongues twisting and turning, relishing the familiarity of each other that we both had been longing for.

He ground his hips into me, and I can feel his growing erection through my sweats, pressing against my inner thigh. Heat begins to pool low within me, just thinking about the way his cock would feel gradually filling me, stretching me in the way my body so desperately needed.

More. I needed more.

He groans when I give his hair a light tug and roll my hips up towards him, wanting to satisfy the dull ache between my legs. I do it again when he doesn't quite get the hint; this time he moves, and a chill runs down my spine when his lips reach my jaw, the stubble that he had growing in rubbing against my skin. He peppers my neck with feather-light kisses, his teeth grazing along the way, and stopping to nip right below my ear. His breath cascades across my neck in a quiet laugh when he hears the mewl I let out.

"Is this what you want, love?" His voice was so low, I almost moaned simply from the seduction laced in his tone. "Yes," I whispered, clawing my nails against his scalp once more. He hums, slipping his large hand underneath the hoodie I was wearing and trailing his fingertips up my side. My skin prickles and my nipples harden just before he palms my breast, rolling his thumb over the pert bud. "No bra?" "They're sore; figured I'd be staying in, so why wear one?" "Makes sense," he concurs, running the tip of his nose up the side of my neck and to my jaw, promptly giving me a quick kiss. "Maybe I can help with that?"

His dark eyes glimmer with lust, and there's a smirk spreading across his lips that makes my core throb, wishing his face were between my legs instead. All I do is nod, both of us shifting to remove my top. He throws it behind the couch before he cups my breasts with hesitancy, delicately kneading the tender area, waiting to see if I'll stop him. I allow him to massage them for a brief moment, but he stops when he senses my discomfort. They were just too sore right now.

He whispers an apology, laying gentle kisses on the swell of my breasts before making his way down my belly. My stomach swirls with arousal and my chest heaves, anticipating his touch; all I could do was stare down at him as he halts at my waistband, peering up at me with hunger. His fingers grasp the top of my sweats, eyes begging me for access as he reluctantly waits for the go-ahead.

I lift my hips and assist him with shimmying my bottoms down my legs; he takes his time removing them, palming my right thigh with a firm squeeze. He continues caressing down my leg with both his hands and lips before doing the same to my left. "No panties either?" he muses while still holding my leg and places a kiss to the inside of my ankle. I bite my lip with a giggle, shaking my head 'no'. "Just the way I like it," he winks, beginning to trail his lips up my calf.

The further up my leg he went, the more he lowered himself against the couch until he was nearly flat, face level with the apex of my thighs. I see the hunger in his eyes when they flicker to my slick folds and back up, a smirk tugging at his mouth. He doesn't break eye contact as he slowly lowers his face down and teases me by kissing over my mound, up and across to each hip bone, and settling his mouth against my tiny bump.

"You're so beautiful, in every way,” he whispers, kissing my belly again. "Every bit of you. Your smile, your laugh." Kiss. "Your bubbly personality." Kiss. "Your soft skin, your growing bump." Kiss. "The way you say my name. The sounds you make." Kiss. "And even the way you taste," he licks his lips, and I clench around nothing, dying for him to touch me. "Noah," I breathed out. "Please." "Mmm, like that," he hums, placing his hands on the back of my thighs, holding me to him as he finally reaches where I needed him to be.

I take a sharp breath in when he licks a stripe through my folds, my hips bucking forward when his tongue lands on my clit. He hums—I can’t tell if it was in amusement of my reactions, or a groan of satisfaction as he damn near devours me like this was his last meal on earth—and the vibration coasts through my core, forcing a moan out of me.

I fist his hair; his fingertips dig into my thighs as he groans again, his tongue methodically running through my folds. He was so meticulous with his actions, knowing the way my body would respond to each and every flick of his tongue, and he had me chasing that high. My hips roll towards his face, and he takes my clit into his mouth, my stomach tightening as he sucks.

My senses are so heightened, I come undone within seconds, stars shooting behind my eyelids as I squeeze them shut and moan out his name. My body trembles and my back arches, my nails dig deeper into his scalp as his tongue relentlessly pulls me through my climax.

“Wow, I didn’t even need to use my fingers,” he muses with a smirk plastered on his face, his lips glistening with my slick. I try to think of a witty comeback, but I can’t. All I can do is shake my head at him, focusing on coming back down to earth, and trying to regain the breath he knocked out of me.

He clambers on top of me, and my hands instinctively find their way under the back of his shirt as he plants his mouth on mine in a heated kiss—I can taste myself when I take hold of his bottom lip with my teeth. He moans and I chuckle, now scratching my nails down his toned back.

“Christ, Olivia,” he mumbles, pulling away to look down at me; his breathing is labored, his lips now plump. “You have no idea what you’re doing to me.” “I don’t?” I quirked an eyebrow, digging my nails further into his back. His muscles flex under my fingertips, and I giggle when he bites back a groan as his dick twitches against my leg. He shakes his head incredulously, his dark bangs shifting and blanketing his face. “Maybe you do.” “Maybe I do,” I shrug, watching his eyes grow dark with desire. “I want to fuck you so badly, Olivia,” he growls. “Then do it,” I say, removing my hands from under his shirt.

He sits up, pulling his shirt over his head, and tosses it to the floor. I watch his chest heave as his hands clumsily unfasten his belt and unzip his fly—was he nervous, or overly eager? He slowly pulls his jeans down, along with his boxers, and his cock springs loose, slapping against his belly. He takes hold of himself, gliding his hand up his shaft, and I swear my mouth watered when I saw the precum glistening as he rolled his palm over the tip, spreading it back down his length.

Christ, Olivia. What has gotten into you?

He settles himself between my legs but hesitates, his eyes searching mine as he places a delicate hand on my cheek. He swallows harshly, “I don’t… am I going to hurt you or—” I giggled at his concern. “You’re not gonna hurt me or the baby, I promise,” I reassured him, combing his bangs back with my hand and giving his head a light scratch. “Are you sure?” I rolled my eyes. “I’m sure. The baby’s not gonna come out with a dent in its head from your dick, Noah,” I chuckled. “What if—” “So help me God, Noah, if you don’t put your dick in me in the next ten seconds, you’re gonna have a dent in your head.” I hooked my leg over his hip, hoping to urge him on. He shakes his head and laughs lightly. “So assertive.”

In one swift movement, he slowly enters me, and we both moan out in unison. He rests his forehead against my collarbone, a staggering breath caressing my skin as he rolls his hips away. “Fuck,” he sighs, “I almost forgot how good you feel.” My hands smooth up his back, one hand tangling into his hair, and he picks his head up to look at me with a sheepish grin. “Me too,” I breathed a laugh, pushing my hips towards him. “Keep going. Please.” “As you wish.” He ruts his hips into me, an impish smile on his face. He was still hesitant; I could tell with each attentive thrust into me, and as good as it felt, I needed more.

My heel presses into the small of his back, and I began to run my nails against his tattooed skin. His eyes flutter shut, a light moan slipping past his lips as he continued his languid pace. “Noah,” he looks at me when I say his name. “Don’t hold back. Show me what you forgot, show me how much you missed me.” He chuckles, and it’s like a switch flipped inside of his head, his eyes burning into mine with a sudden darkness. “Fuck, Olivia. You’re really going to be the death of me.”

I don’t have time to say anything or even laugh; his lips are on mine in an instant, his hips snapping into mine with fervor. My fingers tighten, digging into him further as a moan escapes me, and he takes that to his advantage, shoving his tongue in my mouth. Our kiss was sloppy, influenced by desire, hunger, need. But I didn’t care, everything in this moment felt so right, so satisfying as his cock hit me in all the right ways. My body was buzzing with euphoria as I drank him in and savored the feeling of him encasing me, breathing in his intoxicating scent.

He suddenly pulls away from me, and I whimper from the emptiness. With a growl, he sits up and repositions me with my legs resting on his shoulders. I cry out when he thrusts back into me, hitting me at a different angle that would undeniably tip me over the edge. My back arches when there’s pressure on my clit—it took me a second to realize his thumb was rubbing against me.

Sweat was beading across his forehead as his eyes locked with mine, and the fire burning behind his irises was my downfall. My walls clenched around his length, and I swear I was levitating as my chest rose under his control, my body quaking while he coaxed the orgasm out of me.

My legs slip off his shoulders, and once again he repositions me so that I’m on his lap. He holds me close to him, his large hand supporting me at the small of my back as he continues to thrust deep inside of me. I can’t move; my head lols back and I feel his lips against my throat, peppering sloppy kisses until he bites down below my jaw. His moan vibrates down my jugular, and I feel the warmth of his breath as he pants through his nose.

He gently lies me back down against the couch, his body collapsing on top of mine while he slips out of me. We're panting together in fucked out bliss and my hands find his hair again, raking my fingers through his sweat stained locks. He hums, pressing a kiss on my collarbone before rolling off me. He scoops me on top of him, my leg settling over his torso and my hand lands on his cheek. I run my thumb over his flushed skin and he once again hums and presses a kiss into my hair.

“Did we just have sex on the beach?” I mumbled, a tiny grin on my face. He snorts, and I know he’s shaking his head at me without having to look at him. “If that’s what you want to believe, then sure, love.” I giggled, picking my head up to look at him. He looks at me with adoration, a tired smile gracing his lips as he ran his hand through my hair. “You’re cute. Lie back down, let’s take a nap. It’s been a long morning.” I do as he says after giving him a kiss, settling against his chest.

His chest rising and falling slowly relaxes me, and I notice one thing as his steady heartbeat begins to lull me to sleep: he wasn’t wheezing. Not even in the slightest.

|Chapter 20|

[cherry1sblog]

I don't understand why people are Soo butt hurt about asking for Ni-ki smut yeah it's a little weird cuz he's JUST turning 18 but they don't have a problem with making stories like that about anyone else's in the group and we basically watched them grow up too just cuz they weren't AS young as Niki doesn't mean they weren't young not only that but some of the smuts they write about the legal line is even more disturbing and disgusting then just simply asking for a slightly suggestive story for Niki seeing as teenagers (not me tho lol) are doing way more and nasty stuff at even younger. And about that thing with the older members like people literally ask for disgusting smut stories all the time like the members watching you and one of them do stuff or I EVEN SAW A NON CON REQUEST THAT SOMEONE ACTUALLY WROTE AND WAS PROUD OF BUT THEN WHEN SOMEONE ASKED THEM TO WRITE ABOUT NIKI NIT EVEN SOMETHING THAT BAD THEY SUDDENLY HAD A PROBLEM WITH IT and someone had asked Ni-ki to be included in the non con thing and I understand being uncomfortable with that but why even write it about that situation in the first place coming from someone who's been sexually assaulted and abused and harassed and taken advantage of multiple time even before I was 8 by people I thought I could trust like multiple of my one of my brothers (I have 3 brothers so one of my brothers) friends and my cousin and someone who was walking me home a classmate and even my brother who let his friends do that to me THAT is disgusting teenagers do nasty inappropriate stuff all the time and none bats an eye but suddenly it's a famous person and there's a problem not saying people sexualizing him is good or ok or not bad I'm just saying there's a double standard it shouldn't be OK for them to write about the other members just cause they are legal it still kind of weird to sexualize them the way people do . Like I can't eleven open tumblr without seeing MDNI and some inappropriate content about them that I don't want to see JUST because I follow enhypen tags or tags like enhypen x reader (even though I mainly only read Niki x reader) AND I'm one year younger than Ni-ki and my bday is the month after his but that's not important what I'm trying to say is that I have like a huuuuugggggeeee crush on Niki like I'm in love with him I swear (not literally I just have like an enormous humongous crush on him) and I don't think that it's that wrong to have feelings that normal teenagers feel (I'm a virgin so I've never done anything) but what I'm saying is it's WWWWASAAAYYYYYYY more weird to ask tobbe non con by the legal line than it is forbme to ask for something like a story where the reader and Ni-ki make out or some (I'm not the one who asked for you to write after he turns 18 just defending you from the people who have been dogging you for no reason when they probably read TONSS ON THOUSANDS Of WWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY WORSE AND MORE DEMEANING AND DISTURBING DISGUSTING THINGS ABOUT THE OTHER MEMBERS AND JUSTIFY IT BY SAYING THAT THEY ARE LEGAL? LIKE COME ON NOW AND THEN THEY HAVE THE NERVE TO MAKE IT SEEM LIKE THEY'RE SAINTS WHEN THEY ARE DOING THE SAME ABD EVEN WORSE TO THE ITHER MEMBERS JUST CAUSE THEY'RE "OF AGE" like seriously a A NON CON REQUEST AND THEY ACTUALLY WROTE IT? that's like not ok especially considering people actually struggle and go through that the double standard is CRAZY LIKE INSANE they don't have the right to look at you when they write and read stuff like non con or sleep stuff that basically just r*pe fics

I know I went on but it's crazy how people will dig you and make you out to be the bad guy when they're doing the same if not worse stuff

You ate all of this up I’m so sorry about what happened to you but your a really strong person and I appreciate what you wrote you couldn’t have said anything more fucking true people are so blinded it’s actually fucking crazy literally everything I wanted to say you summed it up

[daddypriceugh]

Dog tags

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It's currently 11:40 pm and my brain is still working lol.

This will be the last fic for today, but i hope that i'll be able to post again tomorrow or on tuesday :)

Tw: character death

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The day began quite normal.

It was Saturday, which meant that you didn't have work. You spent the day cleaning the house and buying groceries. It was the same routine that happened every Saturday. But this time there was an exception.

You loving husband was supposed to come home today. He's been gone for 3 months now and you two weren't able to phone each other, because of him being busy.

You hated to admit it but it was hard without him. The house felt empty. It was only you and your thoughts. His pillow has stopped smelling like him a month ago. You cried yourself to sleep every night, without someone telling you that everything would be ok.

John and you had fought a lot about his job. Him saying that you shouldn't be so dramatic about him having to leave. Moments like these made you realise that he's just a man. A man that sometimes -more often than you wished- loved his job more than anything else. Tho of course he would never say that out loud. His team was like a second family, so it wasn't hard for him to leave. But it was for you.

You had met his team before, in a pub to be more specific. John had asked you to meet them and you obviously couldn't say no to his puppy eyes.

You trusted his team to bring him back home. Alive. That had always worked, at least until now.

You were now standing in the kitchen preparing John's favourite meal. It was a receipt from his mother. A simple, yet delicious dish.

You stirred the bacon in the pan while listening to a song that was on the radio. The atmosphere was calming down your nerves, as you were excited to see your husband again.

While humming the song, you heard the door bell ringing. You turned off the stove and half sprinted towards the door.

You opened it with a smile, but you weren't greeted with John. No, his team was standing on the porch, faces formed into frowns.

Your smile faltered a bit, but you recovered quickly. "Hey nice to see you again! I didn't know we will have dinner guests over" you laughed slightly. Seeing them not returning the gesture made you nervous. And only then did you realise, that John wasn't there.

You looked around confused only to see something metallic laying in Gaz's hand. Dog tags.

"W-what...?"

Your weary smile fell. A shiver ran down your spine. No, that couldn't be his.

A feeling of hurt engulfed your body, and you could hear your heart beating in your ears.

It seemed that Gaz saw the change of demeanour, because he stepped forward and handed you the dog tags.

His hand took a hold of your shaky one as you examined the object.

Your eyes were glossy as you read the gravure. Captain John Price.

That was the moment your world fell apart. You let out a sob as your knees buckled, making you fall to the ground.

Gaz caught you and sank to the floor with you in his arms. He clinged onto you as if he was afraid to let go.

Your body went hysterical as you cried into his shoulder, clutching the dog tags. Your husbands dog tags.

"H-he promised! He fucking promised to come back" you cried out. Sadness mixing with anger directed at your husband for breaking his promise.

Soap and Ghost were still standing on the same spot, watching the scene unfold. Sadness was still a prominent feeling in their body.

They knew that Price wanted them to tell you that he died. To tell you that he loved you more than anything.

But that didn't make the situation easier as they felt your pain. Your usual bubbly personality was gone and grief took over.

Minutes went by with you still crying for your dead husband, while hugging the dear life out of Gaz.

Soap watched them with sympathy as something caught his eyes. It was the small but prominent bump of your stomach. His heart dropped when he realised that you were pregnant. You probably wanted to tell Price the good news after he came home.

Soap took a deep breath and starred up to the sky, wishing that it had been him dying instead of his Captain.

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Critique and tips for improvements are always welcome <3

I really have to stop posting angsty fics haha.

Have a nice day/ evening :)

(English isn't my first language so please excuse minor grammar mistakes <3)