#i probably posted this exact same thing before

[prettycottonmouthlamia]

So I have seen this exact response before and I'm going to call this out very plainly as for what it is: this is moving the goalposts. I'm going to engage with it because I'm a very nice person and there needs to be a serious rebuttal against this, but my post is not about this and neither are the grand majority of the posts about egg jokes. If it were truly just interpersonal, I wouldn't have to bring up feminist principles.

When I was a kid, there was a pretty common joke based on my last name that I will not be repeating out of respect for my privacy. It was extremely simple, and entirely benign, word association, and it upset me at the time. The key thing here is there was nothing wrong with the joke inherently, it was that the kids saying it with ill intent. If it happened now, I wouldn't care really. I've grown up.

There's nuance to every social interaction when it comes to comedy, but something that is important to talk about here, is that making someone uncomfortable is not a fucking crime. It is, in fact, a normal part of human interaction. We will make each other uncomfortable. Making someone uncomfortable is not a sign anyone has done anything wrong. Truth be told, if I made a joke, and someone came to me afterwards and said "hey that joke bothered me" I would probably stop.

However. This doesn't mean that uncomfortable feelings around certain jokes can't be revealing. If I made a joke about how white someone was and they got upset over it, it might be worth interrogating why that was. I get cranky about jokes about cooking, because I actually use spices thank you very much, spices absolutely fuck. But I wouldn't get upset over it, I'd probably just make a snarky reply. Sometimes an uncomfortable feeling is not best suited for a sit down conversation either, sometimes the best way to let it out is a little bit of good natured sparring.

It really should be noted here as well as we're talking about this, that egg jokes used to be extremely popular until a very short while ago. So much so there was it's own counter humor. I like egg jokes, but jokes about the "Prime Directive" of transness are in fact, pretty great too. The entire concept of the egg is pretty unserious to begin with, and I can think of jokes revolving around eggs that are considerable meaner than the trans egg joke (like, I'm a fan of Northernlion. You know).

It hasn't been until very recently where people have taken the idea that someone might be uncomfortable as "oh god, someone has been harmed" and have started this very weird crusade against egg jokes. The idea that a person's uncomfortableness is sacrosanct is deeply poisoning to any sort of good faith discussion or debate. You should be willing to engage with it, but it's not all coming from a good place, and that's the kind of posts this post is in conversation with.

The posts insisting egg jokes cause legitimate harm and that they're actually signs that mean, awful trans women aren't really feminists. The point of this post is to point out that maybe someone who gets really upset with egg jokes has some unpacking to do regarding their feelings on their own masculinity. These jokes are harmless and said with good intent. When someone says they really like gender tf fiction, especially nonconsensual tf, when a trans woman says 🥚!?, they're not making fun of the person. They're going "hahaha, that was me too!"

I bring up mirroring too, because this conversation is not all encompassing. It is almost entirely focused on trans women and egg jokes made at men. But there are egg jokes made as cishet women too. There was an entire bit of posting from trans men about how we shouldn't be mean to fujoshi, because a lot of them actually aren't fetishizing gay men, they're closeted trans men! They're eggs! Sometimes said seriously, and sometimes said purely as the same kind of egg jokes. Were there going to be cis women who felt that their femininity was being threatened? Sure.

This mirroring brings up the actual issue people have with egg jokes: the idea that you, as a trans woman, could be suggesting a cis man could be a woman is offensive. A cis man's gender identity, perceived masculinity, and insistence on his "cis" nature are worth defending. Meanwhile, these are not true for a cis woman. A suggestion by a trans man that a cis woman might actually be a man is flattering. Her gender identity, femininity, and cisness are not worth defending. Why would they be? Masculinity is a compliment.

This is a perspective that is deeply, DEEPLY, anti-feminist. It aligns with current societies views on masculinity and femininity, about the perceived worth of men and women. The transgression of becoming feminine, of becoming a woman, is the main crime than trans women are saddled with by society.

So ultimately. No. This post is not about that, the posts this post is disagreeing with is not about that, and ultimately, this is all being talked about and discussed on a deeper level than you seem to care to be. I hope you have a wonderful day all things considered.

I'm beginning to think in the context of "haha you might be trans" and "wow all men suck" jokes being perceived on this website as deeply awful and offensive to the person being joked about that a lot of you have deeply shitty cis men friends who can't take a joke.

When a friend of mine recommended Gushing Over Magical Girls I literally went "have you tried estrogen???" because the only people I saw talking about this series were other trans women, but he's not a fucking baby and found it funny. He did not find it an attack on his fucking masculinity or whatever.

The idea that trans women are reinforcing awful gender stereotypes through egg jokes, that we're pressuring feminine men somehow into being trans women, is TERF rhetoric. It's the defining rhetoric of conversion therapy, that trans people and trans healthcare are taking feminine, gay men and turning them into trans women. Just admit that you fucking hate women and get away from us.

[arbitrarykiwi]

Hii!! It’s my birthday soon (feb 17th to be exact 🌝) so i was wondering if you could do a nam-gyu x reader x thanos imagine where it’s readers birthday and they go all out, wanting her to have a special birthday

The Happiest of Birthdays!

OMG!!!! HAPPY (early when I’m posting this) BIRTHDAY!!! you've quite literally been with my lil page since the start so I had to quickly whip something up!!! I wanted to touch base on how they would go about the entire day of the readers birthday so I cooked up some various things to discuss!! I also had someone request a thangyu themed birthday smut sooooo that will also be coming down the line >:)

Warnings: sfw, mention of weed/smoking, probably definitely ooc nam-gyu and thanos

While Thanos and Nam-Gyu both have their own likes and dislikes about their own birthdays- one things for certain they LOVE your birthday. They both will coordinate, saving months in advance to pull money together to spoil you on your special day (one of the few times they can work together and not against each other).

Thanos and Nam-Gyu both have multiple reminders in their phones about your birthday, they plan weeks in advance to know what they’re going to do for you as a celebration, and they love spoiling you! Over the years they learned that working together as much as they can on your birthday is the best- the times that they didn’t work together led to many duplicate gifts and many double reservations at the same restaurant. It’s what happens when great minds think alike and you’re so easy to buy for!!!

Nam-gyu is the type of guy to have an alarm set at 12am the day of your birthday to be one of the first ones to text you or tell you ‘happy birthday’. Thanos tries to do it too- wanting to beat Nam-Gyu at being the first to text you, but he always sleeps through his alarms. Nam-gyu also remembers the time you were born so the initial 12am birthday wishes are always followed by a ‘even though it’s not technically your birthday yet’

Thanos definitely gets a little upset that Nam-Gyu always seems to text you or tell you happy birthday first. Thanos always falls asleep right before 12am or is asleep in your arms, drooling on your chest before 12am. He sets alarms like Nam-Gyu but he always sleeps through them, he swears that his phone alarms don’t work (even though they do, and you often suffer the consequences of the blaring ship horn and flashing light that he has programmed as his phone alarm)

Let’s be real- they never text you happy birthday anyway. They’re always with you the day before and the day of your birthday (and probably the day after too) The day before your birthday, you’ll probably all find yourself in bed smoking a blunt, watching TV. Thanos is half asleep curled up by your side, nodding off every so often-he can’t help it when your thighs are so comfy. You are also half asleep, eyes fluttering shut then snapping open when the show you three were watching got too loud. Nam-gyu has his arm around your shoulders, tucking you into his side where you belong, kissing your head every time he passes you the blunt- he’s gotta spoil the (soon to be) birthday girl as much as he can.

When 12am strikes, Nam-Gyu is waking you up suddenly from your moment dozing off with a kiss to your cheek, mumbling a “happy birthday, pretty” into your skin. You can’t help but to giggle and blink open your eyes sleepily, turning to him. Your hands reach up to cup his cheeks and pull him in for a proper kiss. It’s slow, sweet and lazy. The movement and rustling of the sheets would inevitably wake up Thanos who is whining and nipping at your thigh, annoyed Nam-Gyu yet again, got to wish you happy birthday before him. You giggle, pulling away from Nam-gyu, turning to meet Thanos who’s sitting up to meet your lips in a kiss, one hand coming to the back of your head to cradle you and deepen the kiss despite you giggling against his lips. When he pulls away, the purple haired male is mumbling a “happy birthday, my beautiful flower” against your lips.

They also make it a tradition to make sure flowers are the first thing you see when they wake up. You’re the birthday girl- you get to sleep in! And with it being such a special day, more often than not they’re out of bed before you. They always struggle to get out of the bed and crawl away from the warmth of your touch but they know it’s a sacrifice they must make to make their pretty girl happy!!

One thing about the both of them though- you’re not gonna get any cards from them. Little keepsakes with a small note written on it….maybe. They both have shit handwriting and are horrible when it comes to writing down what they want to say. They’d rather just say it to you. Thanos likes to say cards are far too expensive for what they are (he’s right), that card companies are a scam (again he’s kinda right). Nam-gyu just doesn’t understand the point of them, he thinks you’re gonna read it once then throw it in a drawer that will eventually pile up with other insignificant cards you receive (he’s wrong, you’d cherish anything they gave you).

Nam-gyu always bakes you a birthday cake. He asks you directly what flavor you want and asks you to send him ideas of what you want the design to be. Somehow he executes it perfectly. Whatever design or shape you want- magically makes it happen. You genuinely don’t know how he does it but he has a unique gift for cooking and baking although he adamantly denies he has a talent for either. The catch you have you deal with when Nam-gyu makes your cake (and that’s every year you’re with them) is that you never get to see it early and only see it when it’s brought to the table. As much as you try to fight it, wanting to catch sneak peaks of the inevitable masterpiece of a cake, both Nam-Gyu and Thanos never let you see it before the time of presenting it to you while singing happy birthday because they simply adore capturing the picture of your adorable first reaction to the cake.

Speaking of bringing the cake to you, that’s one of the odd things they trade off doing year to year. It’s one of the strange intricacies they have but you can’t complain. They both love having their own pictures them handing you the cake. They can never get enough of the still images they have of you looking up to them like they hung the moon, mouth hung open or hands covering your mouth in shock, more often than not there’s tears welling in your eyes as you get your first glimpse of the cake Nam-Gyu had expertly crafted and decorated for you. If you don’t go out to eat Nam-gyu will also cook you whatever dinner you want!

On the occasion that you guys do go out to eat. They’d want to take you somewhere super nice. They want to help you pick out the dress, the jewelry, and even take you to get brand new makeup to specifically match your dress. Of course, you don’t pay. They’d sit patiently on your bed and watch you like you hung the moon as you do your makeup. They honestly love watching the whole process from start to finish- they both find it so fascinating. When you’re done and y’all go out and hit the town- they’re showing you off so hard. They know going into the restaurant as the trio you were, you three would get some looks. They lean into it, flaunting you like the prize you are. Nam-gyu would keep one arm wrapped around your back, hand squeezing lightly at your waist and the other hand is palm up, holding your hand to keep you upright while Thanos is kneeling down on the floor of the restaurant lobby to put your heel on his thigh to adjust the strap you minimally complained about- they want the onlookers to know how special you are, so special that you need two men to tend to you, that you’re a goddess to be doted on.

If it’s a year where Nam-Gyu cooks, while Nam-gyu takes care of the cooking, Thanos takes care of the gifts. They spoil you, truly. But more often than not they stick to a larger ‘combined’ gift, a personalized gift from each of them, and a few other little things. Nam-Gyu and Thanos wait till you leave your apartment while they’re both there to discuss their plan of attack. Nam-gyu hates the mall with a vengeance, also hates shopping- that’s why you got Thanos! (Best of both worlds!)- so they will sit together and make a list that Thanos goes out and searches for.

They both prefer to gift you experiences rather than material items because they both say it makes more of a memory. And they’re right. They’ll definitely get you materialistic gifts! But that’s throughout the year! They take you on shopping sprees all the time! (Nam-Gyu doesn’t take you to the mall or in-person stores he takes you on online shopping sprees) Throughout the year they will both work to sneakily try and find out where you want to go. Places on instagram you favorited, posts of cute air bnbs you found online, or even a as far as a city / country you want to go to- they make it happen for your birthday.

They also both post you! Both different in how they do it as always. Thanos normally will compile all the photos he’s taken of you on your birthday and post something at night before the day ends. He always says it’s the perfect way to commemorate your birthday on his social medias. The photos all showcase you, you holding your cake, you sitting across from him at your birthday dinner and smiling all pretty, a picture of your hand in his to showcase the diamond bracelet he got you. He always ends the picture slide show with a photo of him and Nam-gyu kissing your cheek, one of them on either side of you. It’s cute- you can make a slide show of the same picture over the years. It’s a tradition Thanos holds dear. He also doesn’t tag you- he will make the caption the sweetest thing imaginable, post your face twelve times over- but he won’t tag you, he hates that the one time he did you got 200 extra followers, most of which were men who obviously thought you were hot. He already has to share you with Nam-Gyu! He doesn’t want to share with anyone else (besides when he’s posting to brag about his perfect girlfriend).

Nam-Gyu posts a collection of photos he has of you from over the year so he can post it in the morning so you see it on your feed first thing when you open the app. He likes ones where you’re caught off guard, when he comes over to find you asleep on the living room couch or when you’re cooking with him and you’re attention is elsewhere and you’re busy brushing off the flour that Thanos had wiped on the tip of your nose. He also, like Thanos, has a similar picture he posts in the group of photos every year on your birthday. He makes you sit in front of his camera, his free hand not holding your phone to squish your cheeks together. You always end up laughing and that’s his favorite part about it, he captures your wide smile mid laugh. Unlike Thanos though, he tags you in the post- he wants others to see exactly what he has and that no one else (besides Thanos) can have you. He loves going through your requests and denying random guys himself.

It’s all about you on your birthday and that means even late into the night!! When you’re done with the adventures for the day, they’re taking you home and setting up a bath for you- albeit clumsily. They have to have you supervise, making sure they don’t add too many bubbles or overflow the tub. But they add whatever you want into the tub, make sure it’s the perfect temperature and light candles; the whole nine yards. They sit with you in the bathroom so they can roll you a blunt and pass it to you. They hold it up for you so you don’t even have to worry about it getting wet. When you’re done Thanos is grabbing you a towel that they had warming in the dryer. When you step out of the tub, you’re stepping into Nam-Gyu’s arms and he’s wrapping you in the warm embrace of the towel.

Needless today they just adore you and take your birthday as a chance to really show you just how much they appreciate you for putting up with them- everyone knows they’re a handful. But they love their pretty girl so much that they just have to celebrate your birthday in the most over the top ways!!

Hi yall! Sorry for my brief absence I was sick for a bit! But now I’m back! I had to break up the request queue for this special request so hope yall don’t mind 🫶 I’m working on a few more requests at the moment and the next one posted will be the Babydaddy!Nam-gyu x reader smut.

Love yew all! - kiwi

[shalom-iamcominghome]

This is my g-d. There are many like Him, but this one is mine.

[icewindandboringhorror]

Pages from trying to keep a little sketchbook-scrapbook type thing going for two weeks lol. I gave myself specific rules in hopes they might all end up more cohesive/consistent seeming, but alas, scribbly chaos reigns, it seems

[kimtaegis]

I’m feeling quite sad about how much the active bts fandom on tumblr has shrunk and/ or how selective the community has become regarding content interaction. I’ve heard people pointing out a clique-building here lately, and while I’m well aware of closer mutual circles existing – and I can only speak on behalf of my friend group here – these pretty much develop naturally when there’s just no one else who reacts, reblogs from and talks to you anymore except for these handful of people. I don’t like that some people perceive these “cliques” as “exclusive”, for example to content creators only. that’s bullshit; it’s certainly not great to have only other cc’s support your work because they personally know how much time and effort it takes. also, knowing how lovely most of these people are, you’d get immediately followed back and showered with love too as soon as you’d even show a speckle of kindness on a regular basis, regardless of whether you make gifs yourself or not. ccs dedicating sets to each other isn’t a sign of exclusivity, but rather us holding onto and appreciating people who still give us at least some motivation to create and post in the first place anymore, because there’s quite literally no one else left by now.

[orangeearlgray]

Me when I think my dad is cool and admirable

[alchemiclee]

every time someone dislikes a character I consider autistic because they seem highly autistic coded, especially if it's "for no reason/just a feeling" I get so incredibly sad and offended because I just know it's because they have autistic traits. I know these people would do the same to me and other irl autistic people. and that's always such a shitty reason to dislike/hate someone.

I just know they would hate us autistic for "no reason" and it would be because people for some reason dislike autistic people based on some obscure random feeling and they can't even tell you why. they often see us as "broken neurotypicals" or we give them that "uncanny valley robot" feeling (especially for high masking autistic people) or whatever it is. they often think we appear "normal" in every way, except something is "off" to them, they they dislike and bully us for it. it's not our fault we were born with these traits/disability so it's not fair to hate us for it!

at least that's how it always seems to go for me and everyone autistic person i've personally know. especially ones better at masking. (I personally was never good at masking and was seen as a "weird freak" who deserves bullying no matter what I did, especially since i was unable to talk 95% of the time as a kid) the mask still never truly hides that "off feeling" people get. i'm sure other autistic people experience this too, but people always dislike me or even hate me and usually can't ever seem to give me a reason. friends will suddenly turn on me and not give me a reason. (especially if we always had text based communication online and then we meet irl the first time. they suddenly turn on or abandon me after that). if I can get a reason out of someone, it's always because *insert random autistic trait here* so I assume it's the same with every case

if this happens irl, it has to be the same for fictional characters, right? it's the only explanation I can think of. I see stuff like this all the time. the autistic coded characters are always getting hate for seemingly no reason like this:

meanwhile, the autistic coded characters always become my favorites because I understand them better and relate

[star-max]

Hate when something is somewhat associated with a character and the character themselves show no interest or even acknowledge it in it in canon, but in fanon that's what everyone makes their favorite thing ever/only personality trait

[wookgerine]

Love that they take Bella with the gym with them all the time

[medicinemane]

One issue I have is there's a whole lot of things where it's like "I'm actually nearly on your side, I'm very sympathetic to this, I just need one or two issues addressed and then I'd be with you on this... you just have to kinda... walk me through how this thing that feels like a kinda big problem isn't a problem"

And pretty much always it's just kinda like "oh, well it's not a problem, so don't worry about it"

...mhh... yeah... but I need some actual proof. I want to trust you, but I need something that actually deals with it, not to just basically be told to have faith... I have no faith, I'm a faithless person

And it's such a shame cause... instead of being able to work along side people I tend to hover off to the side trying to support it in my own small ineffective ways cause... I just have serious issues no one's ever bothered to address

Just sucks, you know?

[ms-demeanor]

Sometimes college professors like to hop on my posts lamenting the sorry state of syllabi these days and joke about how they haven't thought that far ahead in the course themselves, or talk about how they struggle to complete a schedule for their students.

With all due respect, that's your job. If you can't do your job, you should have a different job. If you need help, ask your colleagues or your department chair or *someone* because I know that professors aren't given a hell of a lot of education on how to educate, so you probably *need* help.

But every single time I make one of those posts I get anywhere from ten to thirty messages, replies, reblogs, and asks say "oh man, that's exactly why I had to drop out of school; I couldn't keep up with the assignments because I didn't know when they were due until the week they were due."

I have been a college student in three separate decades, and "not having a schedule of assignments in the syllabus" is new to my experience. That shit didn't fly in the 2000s or 2010s and I think it likely has to do with professors being overly reliant on apps.

AT A MINIMUM your syllabus should have:

Contact information (including preferred method of contact) for the professor

Office Hours

Grading Policy

Assignment schedule.

Your assignment schedule doesn't necessarily need to have the exact page numbers of every reading or a full assignment sheet for each project, but it should have things like:

December 1st - Major Project 3 second draft due December 9th - Quiz 10 December 12th - Major Project 3 final draft due December 15th - Final Exam

If you end up presenting a more thorough schedule with readings and homework later, that is acceptable to present a week or two into the semester but it is absolutely insane to me that students these days don't know what homework they're going to have to get done over Thanksgiving break during the first couple weeks of class.

If I had three professors at once who didn't give me a schedule, how on earth would I know if I was going to have to read three chapters of a novel, take a midterm and turn in two stats homework assignments, and complete a history research paper the same week that I'm planning to travel to see family? If I'm aware of this from the beginning of the semester I can make sure not to pick up extra shifts, or I can plan to leave a day later to accommodate the midterm, or I can start working on the paper early to complete it before the due date but if I don't know what's going to be due when, I'm going to have a big problem.

If you don't give your students a schedule you are communicating that you don't care about their schedule, and that you think it's their responsibility to contort their life (and their job, and their other classes) around your class, and honestly my advice to students in that situation is "drop in the first week and pick up another class". That's actually part of why I recommend signing up for one more class than you can really manage - if you get a professor whose class looks like it's going to be a disaster because they don't have a schedule, you can bail before the withdrawal period and get a refund for the class.

I'm only in one class this semester but the professor's response has fully dropped me into "Fuck it, I guess I'll fail" mode and I don't even know if I can pull myself out of my current D grade because I don't know how many assignments we have left in the semester.

This is a shitty way to run a class. If you can't do better than this, you shouldn't be running a class.

[running-in-the-dark]

-

[icewindandboringhorror]

I know this is just a silly bad quality random screencap of a screencap that I found on facebook lol, BUT it's a succinct enough image to easily describe the concept in a quick/accessible way hopefully :

-

(and of course, feel free to elaborate in tags, etc.! (especially elaborating about other senses as well.. can you "hear" in your mind just as well as you can "see"? taste? etc.) It's an interesting topic to me, as someone who's like a 4.5 at MOST lol. I'm curious what option will be the most common :0c )

[replicantdeviancy]

“Commandeering - that’s a name for it.” The little quip came complete with a cheerful laugh from the younger male. There was no harm to it, as the both of them well knew, as it was a dig towards a shared ancestry. The detective was certain that his own family hadn’t ventured across the pond for centuries, but the longer James spent with him, the greater the desire to be the first to change that. He wanted to take that leap, excited over the pleasant imagery running through his mind which represented a possible & desired future. Connor wasn’t one for bars or particularly lively spaces, but that all consuming want to let loose & allow somebody else to take complete control lingered, magnified as their conversation continued. He imagined unanticipated little thrills provided by a man who held surprisingly firm to his youth in spite of the grey creeping into his hairline, destinations which were both blessedly mundane & exotic at once, & late nights spent filled with pleasures of the body & hushed exchanges of intellectualism.

All of it, every bit sounded marvelous to the detective. He wondered if he might have a chance to meet James’ family, if the man were so inclined, or if the priest might introduce his younger companion to his friends. He must have had some that still remained in his hometown, those whom had never left. Much like Connor, himself. True, he was technically from a suburb just north of the city proper, but he & his brothers had been born in Detroit. Most people didn’t usually leave the place they were from, often choosing employment & taking up residence close to family. He supposed James was the exception, though Connor had yet to broach the question of why. What made the priest choose to devote himself to the church? To become an exorcist, whatever that specifically meant in this modern age.

He might have asked, but the naughty old priest had him easily distracted with culinary chatter & conjuring up delectable visuals of making the pretty detective into a savory meal of his own. As it was, if James kept looking at him that way, with those charmingly beautiful eyes staring into his soul, Connor would have happily let him put that smirking mouth of his anywhere he liked. The enthusiasm towards a private liaison in a confessional seemed to be a mutual one, though Connor wondered if it would have been James’ first time trying something so brazen. Intuition told the detective that it was, & that made it all the more exciting. Already a little flustered in the best of ways, the small instances of playful chastising had Connor smiling that sweet, shy smile of his as color bloomed against his cheekbones. The priest certainly knew just how to get to him, draw elation & intrigue from the younger man so perfectly, one might have again played with that musing of soulmates. As though they had always known one another, that interest was uncompromising, desire unwavering. Connor felt himself tugged towards James, his every thought beginning & ending with the priest since the two of them had met.

It was a little frightening, wanting someone this badly, wanting to be with them, in their presence, after only such a short amount of time. It was something more powerful than himself & Connor wanted to see where it took him. It was the reason he questioned his date on his intentions for the future, as he worried this might be something fleeting. That fear threatened to crush him, & a slow realization overcame that warned this was all too fast. But when James’ sultry manner shifted into somber sincerity & that hand reached to touch, resting upon his forearm, Connor couldn’t force himself to fight that subtle yet powerful gravitational pull. He saw the change in James as those simple questions sunk in like a lead weight, forcing him to confront something in himself that had yet to come to light. He saw guilt, perhaps even regret. But regret for what? Had his assumptions been accurate after all? The priest said that his continued presence ‘depended’, but not on what. There were speculations of further spiritual unrest within the congregation, something else pertaining to the Moore case that hadn’t been addressed. Things outside of the detective’s usual wheelhouse, likely something he wouldn’t understand.

He wanted to ask, but that touch compelled him in another direction & suddenly he was brushing all of his theories aside to give James all of his attention. Only passively interested in food in the moment, he set his fork down & reached for his hand, taking it into a gentle yet firm grasp. That sorely missed connection restored, Connor felt a little bit better. Still, the promise not to disappear on him like a ghost in the darkness failed to quell the ache centering in his chest when Connor could see that his companion was holding back. James was keeping something from him, protecting him with ignorance, as if to know would be such a burden upon him. Things the detective ought to leave alone, contradictory to his eager & curious mind. There was a brief contemplation, a moment of eyes locked in which the younger man wanted to press James for more information, coax a confession out of him as he had before. But pushing him wasn’t going to accomplish anything. This wasn’t an interrogation. The end goal wasn’t to ascertain a guilty party. He just wanted to keep this man close, keep James all to himself.

Was that desire childish when it was so obvious that James wanted him just the same?

“You better not,” he teased, a smile finally cracking his fretfully stoic exterior. “I wasn’t promoted this young because I’m just a pretty face. They don’t call me ‘deviant hunter’ for nothing.” A sly nod to his own impressive capabilities, as well as a hint of intention implied, served up with a cheeky wink. Still just a little somber, as that smile slowly grew wan, difficult to maintain. Connor wasn’t above doing a little detective work to track the man down if he did end up ghosting him. Absolutely deplorable, never something he had envisioned himself doing before, but this was different. This thing between them felt real - Connor longed so deeply for something true, for someone all his own. He wasn’t going to let go that easily.

His gaze fell towards their joined hands, lean digits moved to caress at knuckles, a warm palm, finally lacing their fingers once more. This felt better. It felt right. He stared a long moment in pensive introspection, & his visage reflected his inner thoughts. He could picture spending a few months gallivanting around Europe with this man, hopelessly & sublimely lost in a foreign culture with this single point of familiarity to ground & guide him. In equal measure, he could have spent forever at James’ side, or however long he would have him. He didn’t care if it was selfish. He had spent most of his life selflessly devoted to others; to strangers, family. It wasn’t out of the question to want something for himself. Pearly teeth worried the edge of his bottom lip, free hand softly drumming fingertips against the table’s surface beside his plate. 

Contemplative. Finally, he looked at James with shy, wanting eyes. “When we finish here… can I show you something?” A location that held meaning to him, one that he hoped might help cement a fondness for the city in James, & in turn, the boy who resided there. Somebody who would wait for him, who would crave his company & yearn for his return. “There’s a place we could go for a walk by the water, if you don’t mind the cold. I promise that it’s worth it.” By evening the view would be spectacular, though admittedly, there was an ulterior motive. Between the specifics of the case & the mild emotional anxiety that came with dating & the revelations therein, the detective needed a cigarette. He hoped that his date wouldn’t mind.

He knew the man was curious. How could he not be? Given his line of work and everything else that the priest had come to learn about him in the hours that they'd known one another, it seemed obvious that the younger male was a curious one, that he wouldn't let go until he had answers. Then again, he'd practically told him as much every time he'd tried to press the Brit for more information, trying to take that first step into his world rather than settle in one he'd been born into and grown up in. Now his foot was in the door, the veil lifted but there was still so much once he took his first step inside. Did he know that he'd barely even grazed the surface? That there was a whole mountain waiting for him if he didn't turn back. Would he even want to? Why did James get the feeling that the brunette would likely stay true to his word, he'd see everything through with the same resilience as he carried throughout his work. It wasn't a common trait these days, maybe it never had been, but that certain stubbornness for never giving in was certainly preferable when it came to James' world.

But for now, he was happy to just let the truth simmer, let Connor process it, let it truly sink in before he started to pile any more on top of him. People reacted differently, his own introduction had been less choice and more of a regrettable accident, having no idea what he'd been about to walk into, what it would open him up to for the rest of his life. That was when his fate had been sealed, a similar determination to Connor's that had made him want to keep going, follow in his father's work and do everything within his power to protect others from enduring the same horror for themselves. He wouldn't be able to save everyone, as much as he might wish it, but it was better than sitting back and doing nothing, pretending that he hadn't seen it, trying to go about his life desperate to forget every second of it.

No, he had to remember, he needed to remember. For his parents, for other people and maybe even for himself. It reminded him why he was on that path in the first place, a necessary goal that would see him through even the darkest of times.

In the end, how much would he tell Connor? Everything? Bit by bit, piece by piece, let him into a side of the Brit that few others had ever been privy to aside from his old mentor? And would the American offer the same in return? Speak openly about himself? About the things he'd seen? The position his mind had cast him into when he closed his eyes? He'd already been given a glimpse and hadn't faltered, hadn't flinched, he wanted to see more, wanted to understand the man right down to his core and he'd offer the same in return if it was wanted.

"Part of the job, I'm afraid. You never know when someone might need a passage or two to get them through the day." Mostly, he'd used the knowledge to reassure himself, keep himself focused, if not a light tug to keep him on the right path if ever he strayed too far. Clearly, he wasn't quite as blindly devout as many of his peers, he didn't mind committing a few sins here and there, some lust in the bedroom, a little greed on his plate, he supposed it all added up, but as he always said to both himself and others, he just did what he thought was right, everything else was more akin to guidelines than actual rules in his eyes. Maybe he'd be higher up if he had stuck to the rules more sternly, if he really was a paragon of virtue like he was apparently meant to be -- - but where was the fun in that?

"Not the most engrossing read in the world, but some of it isn't half bad." He couldn't help but tease, imagining his mentor standing across from him and giving him a warning look as though he was about to get a sandal against the back of his head. Not that he really did that, but times had been different back then, a little slap to the ear wasn't entirely outside the realm of possibility and it was never with genuine malice, but more of a mocking startle than anything. Admittedly, he'd always found it rather amusing, like a naughty child who'd been caught trying to take a peek at their presents before Christmas morning. Something James had definitely done more than a few times in his youth. Though was that any real surprise given how he was now? The man's effortless cheek knew no bounds.

"Mm., late-night pub food and debauchery? Sounds like my idea of perfection." Why did that ring more true than it should? Although he really did like the thought of it. The two of them running off together for a while, James getting to take him back home, show him where he'd grown up, the city that had moulded him into the man he was now. What about introducing him to his old friends? Taking him along to their local pub whose walls the northerner could still perfectly describe from memory. Mainly because the dents were still there from his youth, a few scratches here and there from the more merry nights that would end with the group stumbling down the street singing to their heart's content. Were they too old for that now? Or would Connor simply laugh at the side of a group of middle-aged people regressing back to their youths once they were all together again in an all too familiar place? Would he get a taste of what it had been like?

A part of James wanted that for him. He could see that it hadn't been the life that the detective had for himself, it couldn't hurt to let him take a sneak peek at it, right? Perhaps he was getting a little too ahead of himself.

"Well, there's that. We Brits are known for commandeering a few dishes here and there." That was an understatement, but one that the Briton could utter with a genuine sense of amusement. For the most part, he found that they tended to borrow things and put their own British spin on it, the likes of local Chinese takeaways being the perfect example. It hadn't been until he'd eaten real Chinese food that he'd realised that the stuff that was served in the UK was practically alien to authentic stuff. That, Connor would likely discover for himself if he did join the other man back to England, though perhaps more with the likes of McDonald's or KFC, and whatever other places that had started in the USA and found their way over to Britain. Countries always had their own ways of doing things, whether by the population's wants or to get by certain regulations. He really did have so many ideas for what he'd do with Connor, some more PG than others, yet the list was getting longer and longer by the minute.

"Although... can't say I've ever tried avocado toast or a pumpkin spice latte." He found that he was a rather simple man when it came to his toast or coffee, aside from when he was back in Rome where he'd treat himself on a regular basis with someone genuine Italian coffee. It wasn't quite the same as the kinds that places like Starbucks made, but he had a soft spot for them nonetheless. "Might have to try them sometime... next time I'm around for Halloween, maybe I'll grab myself a pumpkin spice latte like the rest of you hip young things." Yes, he was well aware of how old the last comment made him sound, deliberately uttering it that way as a wide smile swept across his face and he couldn't quite hold back a warm round of laughter, trying his best not to choke on his food in the meantime. "Either way... I'm pretty sure you're anything but simple, Connor." His voice lowered, deepening like a low hum that vibrated against his chest.

In those few moments, it was like they were completely alone, the whole world around them didn't matter, it wasn't even there as those sparkling blue eyes honed in on the man opposite. "Yeah?" Had James ever thought about what it would be like to be naughtily -- - intimate, with someone in the confessional? The proper thing to say was no, but the truth was definitely yes. Surprisingly, it was one of the few places where he'd never actually managed to score himself another few dozen sins. He didn't mind rectifying that with the right person though. "Tempting a priest, are we? For shame..." He purred with that devilish twinkle in his eyes. "No matter, you, me, the confessional... I'm sure we'll work something out." His mentor was definitely going to feel a disturbance after that remark, he was amusingly sure of it.

But then came a rather grounding question, one that the Englishman tended to keep away from. Mainly because most of his little dalliances had been just that, brief encounters to satiate his and someone's else desires for an evening of fun, but never daring to let them into his life, into his soul, into his heart. But for once the reality of it hit him, the thought of having to leave the US and return to Rome, seeing the back of Connor's head as he walked away, or even the crushing notion of the last time he'd see him before disappearing entirely. He was good at that, vanishing without a trace, but did he really want to do that with Connor? "Depends..." It was an honest answer, he never really knew how long he'd be somewhere, could be anything from a few days to a month or two. "This whole thing with our dearly departed Mr. Moore... there's more to it. It won't end just here and I'm not going anywhere until it's resolved." He didn't give much away, but it was an answer. Pausing, he put down his knife, settling it by his plate as a hand reached over, gentle long fingers wrapping around the American's lower arm. "I won't disappear on you. I promise."

[phagodyke]

lol just realised that last post is in response to fresh news that this site is dying.....

[marsmaximoff]

🦑 hwang jun-ho; headcanons 〇△□

content warning: gn!reader. fluff. mentions of death, coma and jealousy. pet names. no season 2 spoilers. let me know if i missed anything.

word count: 941

author’s note: well, my man is back, and i had to write some headcanons for him. the OBSESSION that i had back in 2021 needs to be studied, omg. anyway, as always, constructive criticism is welcomed, english is my third language, so i apologize for any mistakes. in case i don’t post anything else this year, happy 2025 everybody!! enjoy! 🩷

divider by @k1ssyoursister

〇 pre-games

best. boyfriend. ever.

that’s it, thank you for coming to my Ted Talk

🙃🙃🙃

his love languages are:

1) quality time

he may be a police detective, but he ALWAYS tries to make time for you 

and see you every day, and if he can’t, he’ll save some minutes to call you

loves to hear about your day

big on communication, that’s key on your relationship 

type of boyfriend that picks you up after work, or anything really

he just wants to see your cute face :3

takes you out on cool dates

to the park, to eat, to cute animal cafés

he’s okay with staying in too, just cuddling, talking, watching something….

and 2) acts of service 

will drive you anywhere you need

you get ‘good morning/night’ texts every single day you’re not together

makes you breakfast 

and has no problem with cooking for you

opens doors for you 

pulls out the chair at the restaurant ☝🏻

he’ll simply do anything you need

loves coming home to you, it doesn't matter how shitty or overwhelming his day was, you just put a smile on his face

his favorite thing to do with you is eating

it may sound boring, but he loves to see you taking care of yourself, well-fed and happy

takes you to meet his family

his mom loves you

even his brother likes you

he’s a tease and enjoys seeing you all flustered

i feel like he’d be the type to have many pics of you on his phone that he goes back to whenever he misses you

you’re probably his wallpaper, perhaps even on his wallet too 🤭

some pet names like: “honey”, “love”, “beautiful”, “cutie”

would never cheat

a guard dog

not super jealous -a bit tho- but won't hesitate to step up if someone acts stupid 

(picture that one scene in season 2 when that man mocked him and didn’t believe he was an actual police detective hehe)

shows you off 🤩

checks you out :p

his hand is on you in some way when you’re out

has good emotional intelligence

big spoon

reminds you to take your make up off before bed if you wear any -he may even do it himself if you're too tired

or to take meds

he is just really caring and supportive

doesn't like seeing you worried or anxious because of his job

absolutely hates to see you suffer

doesn’t mind that you may be struggling financially, it won’t change what he feels

will help you with whatever it is

just don’t hide it, he hates secrets and lies

i hate doing it, but there always has to be some 🚩 

he’s the first one that would do it (lying and hiding stuff) to ensure you’re okay and don’t get worried

on a particularly overwhelming day, he will raise his voice at you

can get really overprotective 

some days you may not hear from him, or at least not much

will sometimes struggle to open up about his issues or what’s upsetting him

△ during the games

after your sudden disappearance, worry and fear ate him up

while checking your house he found a weird card

and once he discovered the exact same one at his brother’s, he knew something was going on

heard gi-hun at the police station rambling about some weird symbols and immediately recognized the design

interrogated him about you, desperate to know about your whereabouts 

as soon as he successfully infiltrated the games, he began your search

almost had a heart attack when he spotted you

had to make the effort of his life to stay calm and not run to you

would somehow manage to get you two alone so he can get you out of there (i wrote about this)

almost gets caught

feels betrayed you didn’t tell him and quite angry you’d risk your own life like this

but mostly relieved you’re okay (and still alive)

watches you like a hawk from the distance, ensuring your safety

constantly around, you continuously sense his presence close by 

□ post-games (you died)

had to see your death and practically went numb

blurry vision, ringing in his ears, shortness of breath, sting in his throat

the worst thing tho, was finding out his brother had been behind everything

how could he have done this to you? you trusted him! 

feels completely disgusted

after his coma, he blames himself for everything

your name was his first word after waking up

dreams about you 

gets you a cenotaph given that your body will forever remain strayed

nevertheless, he still talks to you like you’re there

tells you about his recovery and his progress finding the island

you are his strongest motivation

he’s doing this for you, to provide the love of his life a much deserving peaceful rest

gets you new flowers every few days

he’ll never stop feeling guilty

〇 post-games (you survived)

has nightmares he failed and left you to meet your demise on those cursed games

always there when you have them, and so is his shoulder if you need to cry

reassurance king

hides the identity of his attacker from you

becomes even more overprotective

shared location on at all times

gets paranoid if you don’t text him all day

he swore to never miss a single detail of your possible struggles. not again

you can still tell he holds himself responsible for your time on that island

stays awake at night just watching you sleep safe and sound (will never say it tho)

babies you

bigger spoon

doesn’t let you go out on your own if it’s late, afraid that something may happen and those psychopaths will reach you again