#i posted this on twitter when find a way out ended but i realized i never put it over here :0
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i just want to share my thoughts about akito and Death. because even nowâeven off the back of an event like burn my soulâpeople STILL talk about him like he's an explicitly depressed, suicidal character whose every action is cause for concern.
i think the idea that akito is suicidal has been floating around for a very long time. and while it's not entirely without merit (more on this in a bit), it's still a misconception. and it really feels like kashika exacerbated the issue. which is unfortunate! it's sad to see such a beautiful song be misinterpreted like this.
now don't get me wrong! kashika is about death. but two things:
1. kashika may have been written for akito, but it's not just for him. it's also deeply personal to ryo haruka. there are certainly similarities and haruryo undoubtedly understood everything akito felt during the events that led up to the crawl green incident, but i don't think it's entirely fair to equate his very real emotions and struggles to those of a fictional character. he and akito share kashika! you can interpret it through either lens, but trying to do so through both is where things start getting messy
2. whiiiiich leads me to my second point. who decided that the only way to interpret kashika and its themes of death is literally?
i think it's pretty common for people to automatically interpret any themes of death literallyâor at least very negatively. we're naturally conditioned to fear death, and then we're taught to fear it even more. it's the change. it's the unknown. it's the very idea of an "end." most people aren't very fond of these things! understandably so. but personally? i think the symbolism that can exist behind death is beautiful.
Death is the 13th card of the major arcana. above all else, it symbolizes change (positive change; it's always, always about what's ultimately best for you). Death tells you it's time to move forward; this part of your life is done. there is more waiting for youânew opportunities, new experiences, a brighter, more fulfilling futureâbut you must be prepared to let go.
the habits and routines you have now? the mindsets that have kept you alive? your current sense of self? whatever it is, whatever Death is asking for, you have to let it "die." it won't serve you anymore. it will only drag you down. and it might be terrifying and you might not be able to comprehend what lies ahead and you might want to kick and scream and struggle, but you can't cling forever. endings are never easy, and sometimes they hurt like hell, but with each end comes a new beginning.
and yes if you've read burn my soul this should all sound very familiar lol:
looking at death from this perspective, kashika and the entirety of find a way out should read a lot more like akito caught on the cusp of a monumental transformation. suspended between "life" (the old) and "death" (the new) so to speak.
up to this point he's been fueled by spite and desperation. two very intense, very negative emotionsâbut it's an intensity that worked. everyone else on vivid street had years of musical experience, and he had 0. he needed to catch up and he needed to catch up quickly because it's not like he could put the whole world on pause. he could take his time to learn the basics, sure, but every other vivid street musician would continue improving and growing while he did that. there would always be a gap between him and Them.
unless... he worked harderâWAY harderâthan all of them combined.
and maybe that wouldn't do it either. maybe he would be stuck in place forever, always playing catch-up, always struggling to stay afloat, always being left behind. he knew this. and he knew the amount of destruction he'd end up inflicting upon himself if he went down this path. but in his mind, it was okay. it was worth it. because he'd rather die endlessly pursuing what he loves most than live not trying at all.
but in find a way out, when facing off against his old bullies, he starts to realize that he was wrong. he's not just stuck in place. he bridged the gap a long time ago, and he almost didn't even notice. and where he's going now, spite and desperation are the wrong emotions to sing from. he needs to let the unhealthy, extreme mindsets die, but also it's hard to let go of something when you would have given up a long long long LONG time ago without it.
but with time, and enough poking and prodding from ken and luka, he does it. he lets go. he lets the old parts of him die, and he passes on to the next stage of his life.
akito's character arc has always been about growth. improvement. learning. Becoming Better. and not just in a musical sense although Yes That Is A Huge Part Of It. his arc is also about his growth as a person. it's about him becoming more confident, and learning how to be kinder and more patient with both himself and other people. it's about him learning how to let his walls down and let his loved ones in. and to trust that they won't start kicking him to death once they're in there.
it's about him learning to exchange the Spite and Desperation for Passion and Love.
it's about him becoming happier.
which is why it's so fucking startling when people talk about him like he's suicidal and on the verge of a breakdown. like, woah, what?
as i said though, kashika isn't the only source of this misconception and i find more merit in the other sources because they're actual aspects of his character and scenes in the story and not song lyrics that shouldn't have been read so literally in the first place. like, yeah. we've seen a ton of unhealthy behavior out of akito. he's had a very extreme perspective on his place in the world from a super early age, and while the severity frequently gets exaggerated in fanon spaces, the shinonome household isn't exactly sunshine and rainbows.
he's been moody, he's been prickly and abrasive, he's lashed out. he keeps most people at arm's length and builds walls so high not even toya can get through them at first. he had to! he wouldn't have survived if he didn't! like, he was targeted and bullied by a group of adults when he first started singing on vivid street. that is actually a genuinely traumatizing thing to happen to a kid!
so no, i'm not against the idea that akito has experienced depression and suicidal ideation in the past. kinda comes naturally with the territory he ended up in. but that's the key word: past.
i get confused when the idea is dragged into the present. because again! the whole point of his character arc is he's overcome all that PAST adversity! recovery isn't linear but we're not about to see him hit rock bottom any time soon. or ever, actually. you know why? because we've already seen his rock bottom. stray bad dog. that event was his big breakdown moment. that's what opened him up to try to start healing.
we're not getting another stray bad dog. stop expecting another stray bad dog.
he's alright, i promise. he's growing up. he's gotten better. he knows he belongs in vivid bad squad. he knows he's loved. he knows his friends will be there to catch him when he falls. he's always been strong, but now he's even stronger. he's excited for his future, and i think we should be too.
#i posted this on twitter when find a way out ended but i realized i never put it over here :0#project sekai#akito shinonome#vivid bad squad#long post#i love love love love when media isn't afraid to tackle Death as a positive theme#it's so rare. it's so refreshing#because like . i don't think we should be afraid of Death. i don't think Death should be seen as some horrible terrifying despicable End#it's as much a part of life as life itself. it's not a bogeyman out to get you. it's not a harbinger of misery and doom#it's life. it's okay to be a little scared - it's impossible to comprehend what lies beyond after all#but it's okay. Death is here to guide you. it's just time to move on. nothing more. nothing less.
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misunderstood hero with a heart of gold - mv1
summary: max verstappen has never been one to read books, but everything changes when he comes across a pretty booktuber who describes him better than anyone else did before
word count: 8.2k + social media posts
folkie radio: another one of my babies finally sees the light of day đ„č this fic is really special and i was lowkey gatekeeping it but i feel ready to share it, plss take care of it <3 i hope you like it
MASTERLIST | MY PATREON
Max Verstappen was bored.
It was late and he was alone in his hotel room. He had a race the following day and he knew better than staying up late. His team was already on his ass for sim racing at ungodly hours of the night when he had a race, but nevertheless, he was bored and not sleepy yet.
He scrolled through his phone, not really paying attention to what popped up on his Instagram feed, Tiktok for you page or Twitter timeline.
After a few minutes, his finger landed on the YouTube app, one that he barely used if he was completely honest, but for some reason he never deleted it.
A bunch of videos showed up on his main page, most of them about F1, gaming, fitness or cats. He scrolled through the thumbnails absentmindedly until one title caught his eye: "Formula 1 Drivers as Romance Book Character Tropes."
Max had no idea how that video ended up in his suggestions page. He wasn't much of a readerâhe had only read two books in his entire life, for crying out loudâ but curiosity got the better of him. He clicked on the video.
The screen shifted to a bright and lively setup, where a young woman with vibrant energy and a contagious smile greeted her viewers. "Hey everyone! Welcome back to my channel. Today, we have a fun video where I'll be pairing Formula 1 drivers with romance book tropes!"
Max found himself smiling for some reason, he thought she was really engaging and funny â and really prettyâ. He leaned back against his pillows, more intrigued by the second.
"As some of you might already know, books are not my only passion, I'm also a huge Formula 1 fan since I was a little kid thanks to my dad, so I thought it would be fun to do a little crossover of my two obsessions."
Max grinned again, finding himself oddly invested in this unexpected combination of romance literature and Formula 1. Or maybe just mesmerized by the pretty girl who was talking on his screen.
"Let's begin with Mercedes," she said, clapping her hands together, "Lewis Hamilton is definitely our 'Charming Prince Charming.' He's got the looks, the talent, and that air of royalty about him."
Max chuckled, thinking it was a fitting description for his rival.
"Now for George Russell," she continued, "I'm going with 'The Boy Next Door Who Grew Up Hot.' I mean, have you seen his glow-up?"
Max chuckled again, nodding in agreement. George had indeed transformed quite a bit since his Williams days.
"Moving on to Ferrari," she continued enthusiastically. Max wondered if that was her favorite team on the grid, "Charles Leclerc is our classic 'Childhood Best Friend You've Always Had a Crush On.' He's got that sweet, familiar charm, but with a spark that makes your heart race every time you see him."
Max raised an eyebrow, surprised by the change in description. He had to admit, it fit Charles quite well.
"And for Carlos Sainz," she paused dramatically, "he's either our 'Older Brother's Best Friend' or the 'Bad Guy Who's Mean to Everyone but His Sweetheart', just think about it, he's got that rugged exterior, but you just know he's a total sweetheart deep down."
Max laughed, realizing she had Carlos pegged perfectly. He watched with growing interest as she continued.
"Now, let's talk about McLaren," she said with a sparkle in her eye. "Lando Norris is our 'Adorkable Comedian Who Steals Your Heart.' He's funny, relatable, and has a way of making you fall for him before you even realize it," Max grinned at the description of his good friend, "And Oscar Piastri... he's 'The Shy Genius.' Quiet, reserved, but incredibly talented and intelligent. He might not be the loudest in the room, but he's someone you'd definitely want on your side."
Max nodded in agreement, thinking of how Oscar had impressed everyone since joining McLaren. She continued pairing each driver with a character trope, she described Daniel as the "Life of the Party with a Sensitive Soul," highlighting his infectious energy and hidden depths. Pierre was dubbed the "Resilient Underdog," emphasizing his ability to bounce back from setbacks. Yuki was described as the "Fiery Spitfire with a Soft Center" and Logan was labeled the "Rookie with Untapped Potential," suggesting a character arc of growth and discovery.
With each driver's description, Max's anticipation grew. He found himself eagerly awaiting his own characterization, both curious and slightly apprehensive about how the pretty girl with an obsession with books and Formula 1 would describe him.
When she finally got to Red Bull, he sat up a little straighter, his interest piqued.
"Now for Sergio Perez," she said, "he's our 'Loyal Wingman Who Deserves His Own Happy Ending.' Always there to support, but with a story of his own waiting to be told."
Max nodded, thinking it was a pretty accurate description of his teammate.
"And finally, saved the best for last," she said, her eyes twinkling, "we have Max Verstappen."
Max held his breath, oddly nervous about how this stranger would categorize him.
"Max is our 'Misunderstood Hero with a Heart of Gold,'" she said with a warm smile. "Often perceived as cold or distant, but actually deeply caring and protective of those close to him. He's the type who shows his love through actions rather than words."
Max felt his cheeks warm significantly. This description caught him completely off guard. It wasn't the usual 'aggressive driver' or 'arrogant champion' narrative he was used to hearing. Instead, it felt... true. Uncomfortably true. He wasn't sure how to feel about being seen so accurately by a stranger.
As the video ended after she said her goodbyes, Max found himself staring at his phone screen, replaying her words in his mind, his thumb hovering over the comment section. He had never left a comment on a YouTube video before, but something about this one compelled him to break that habit.
After a moment's hesitation, he tapped the comment box and began typing, Once he was done, he paused, reading over his words. It felt strange, almost vulnerable, to acknowledge her characterization of him. But there was also something liberating about it. He added a thumbs-up emoji at the end and hit 'Post' before he could second-guess himself.
As Max set his phone down and settled into bed, a small smile played on his lips. He had a important race the following day, but all he wanted to think and dream about was the pretty stranger who had somehow seen through his carefully crafted public persona.
âââââââââ ౚৠâââââââââ
liked by username1, username2 and 10,725 others
f1gossip âI went to bed early last night. Just listened to the teamâs orders, you know?â
Max Verstappen for media day today, however he left a comment on a YouTube video around 2:46 am đ
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username1 HES SOOOOO
username2 the fact that he left a comment on a BOOKTUBERâS channel MAX VERSTAPPEN YOU DONT EVEN READ BOOKS đ
username3 he looks so pretty tho
username4 MAX WE ALL SAW YOU
username5 max was actually checking which romance trope is him according to booktubers
username6 HES SO RANDOM
username7 maxâs search history: lestappen as fictional couples
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ynreadsbooks in honor of max verstappen x3 world champion commenting on my latest video (which is insane to say out loud wtf) should i do another f1 themed video?? any suggestions?
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username1 YES QUEEN
username2 that max comment was so random but so real
username3 max verstappen, the man who has read two books in 27 years watching booktubers was not on my bingo card
username4 @/maxverstappen1 you favorite youtuber will do another video about you
username5 BOOKS WITH RACING THEMES
username6 books inspired by f1 circuits would be fun
username7 @/maxverstappen drop a suggestion
maxverstappen1 started following ynreadsbooks
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f1gossip Max Verstappen was seen outside of a bookshop in Monaco today !
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username1 BABYYYY
username2 max ??? bookshop ????
username3 WHAT SHIFTED
username4 he thought it was jimmyz
username5 HEELPP what is he doing there
username6 hello i work there. he arrived with a list of books in hand that he wanted, he bought around 15 action and fantasy books
âł username1 FOR REAL???
âł username2 max said book girl summer
âł username3 this is so random
âââââââââ ౚৠâââââââââ
If someone had told Max that this year he would spend his summer break reading, he would've laughed at their faces. Yet here he was, lounging by the pool in his Monaco house, a book in his hands and a smile on his face.
As he turned the page of "The Martian," the latest sci-fi recommendation from YN, Max couldn't help but reflect on how different this summer break was.
Usually, his days off were filled with lavish yacht parties, exclusive clubs, or intense training sessions and hours of sim racing to stay sharp for the second half of the season. But now, he found himself eagerly devouring books and spending hours chatting with YN about plots, characters, and everything in between.
As the weeks passed, Max found himself growing increasingly close to YN, despite never having met her in person. Their text conversations flowed effortlessly, ranging from in-depth discussions about the books they were reading to playful banter about racing and life in general.
Max was surprised by how much he enjoyed her company, even in this digital form. Her wit, intelligence, and genuine interest in his thoughts beyond his racing persona were refreshing. He found himself sharing things he rarely discussed with others, and looking forward to her messages became a highlight of his day.
He also thought she was absolutely gorgeous.
As if on cue, his phone buzzed with a new message from her.
Max chuckled, about to reply when he heard the doorbell. He remembered Lando and Daniel were coming over for dinner. As he got up to let them in, he quickly typed a response, telling her that he would talk to her later.
"Well, well, well," Daniel's voice boomed as Max opened the door. "If it isn't the newly minted bookworm of Formula 1!"
Lando peered around Daniel's shoulder, "I half expected to find you wearing glasses and a sweater vest, mate."
"Very funny, guys. Come in," Max rolled his eyes as he stepped away from the door.
Ever since his friends noticed his brand new habit, they took it upon themselves to tease him whenever they could. As they made their way to the backyard, Daniel spotted the book on the lounger.
"The Martian?" he read, picking it up. "Isn't this a bit advanced for your reading level, Maxy?"
"Ha ha," Max deadpanned, snatching the book back. "It's actually really good. It's about this astronaut who gets stranded on Mars and has to use science and engineering to survive-"
"Whoa, whoa," Lando interrupted, holding up his hands. "Who are you and what have you done with Max Verstappen?"
Daniel draped an arm around Max's shoulders. "I think our boy here is trying to impress a certain bookish YouTuber. What was her name again? YN?"
Max felt his cheeks warm. "It's not like that. We just... talk about books and stuff."
"And stuff," Daniel repeated, wiggling his eyebrows. "Is that what the kids are calling it these days?"
Max rolled his eyes, trying to brush off their teasing. "Seriously, it's not like that. We just have a lot in common."
Daniel and Lando exchanged knowing glances before bursting into laughter.
"Sure, mate," Daniel said, patting Max on the back. "Whatever you say."
They settled by the pool, beers in hand, and started chatting about the upcoming races and their plans for the rest of the summer. Despite the playful ribbing, Max found himself genuinely enjoying their company. He hadnât realized how much heâd missed his friends.
As the evening wore on, the conversation eventually circled back to Max's books and his little friend on his phone.
"So, Max," Lando started, a mischievous glint in his eye, "have you color-coded your bookshelf yet? Or are you more of a chronological order kind of guy?"
"Nah, mate. I bet he organizes them by how many times YN has mentioned them," Daniel chimed in, "Top shelf is probably her favorites, right Maxy?"
Max felt his cheeks flush, but he couldn't help grinning. "You two are impossible."
"When are you finally going to meet her in person anyway?" Lando said, sipping from his beer.
Max shrugged nonchalantly, trying to hide the slight flutter in his chest. "I don't know. That's not something I've really thought about,"
He lied. In truth, the thought of meeting YN had crossed his mind countless times. The idea of finally seeing the girl who had captivated him with her intelligence, humor, and beauty made his heart race. He'd catch himself daydreaming about her smile, wondering if it was as warm and infectious in person as it seemed in her videos. But he wasn't ready to admit that to his friends just yet.
Lando and Daniel exchanged a look, clearly not buying Max's nonchalant act.
"Oh come on," Lando scoffed, rolling his eyes dramatically. "You expect us to believe that? You've been glued to your phone for weeks, mate."
"I bet he's already planned their first date," Daniel leaned in, "What'll it be, Max? A romantic book reading by candlelight? Or maybe a visit to the library?"
Max felt his cheeks heating up again. "It's not like that, guys. We're just friends."
"Friends who talk every day and have you blushing like a schoolgirl," Lando teased, nudging Max with his elbow.
"I do not blush like a schoolgirl," Max protested, knowing full well that his face was probably bright red by now.
"Sure, sure," Daniel said with a wink. "Just friends. So, have you at least thought about inviting her to a race? You know, show her what you do when you're not reading about Mars?"
"Why would I invite her to a race, that would be weird," Max protested again, "And she already knows what I do, she's a fan of the sport."
"Man, you're so stubborn sometimes," Lando rolled his eyes at him, "If you like this girl, why don't you invite her to a race? It could be a great way to finally meet in person."
"And who said that I liked her," once again, Max's defensive self came through.
Daniel and Lando shared an exasperated look before turning back to Max.
"Come on, mate," Daniel said, his tone gentler now. "It's pretty obvious. We've never seen you this invested in someone before. Not to mention, you're reading books voluntarily for the first time since... well, ever."
"It's written all over your face," Lando said, shaking his head. "You like her, and there's no shame in that. You light up every time your phone buzzes. It's kind of adorable, actually."
Max sighed, running a hand through his hair. He knew his friends were right, but admitting it out loud felt like a big step. "Okay, fine. Maybe I do like her. But it's complicated, you know? We've never even met in person."
"That's exactly why you should invite her to a race," Lando insisted. "It's the perfect opportunity. She gets to see you in your element, and you get to finally meet face-to-face."
"Plus," Daniel added with a mischievous grin, "if things go well, you can always show her your trophy collection. I hear that's a great way to impress the ladies."
Max couldn't help but laugh at that. "You're ridiculous, you know that?"
"Maybe," Daniel shrugged, "but I'm also right. What have you got to lose?"
Max pondered this for a moment. The idea of meeting YN in person both thrilled and terrified him. What if they didn't click in real life the way they did over text? But then again, what if they did?
"I'll think about it," Max finally conceded.
Lando and Daniel exchanged triumphant grins.
"That's our boy," Lando said, patting his back.
After a few more beers and food, Lando and Daniel left.
As the night deepened, Max found himself lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. The conversation with Lando and Daniel kept replaying in his mind. His phone sat on the nightstand, silent but somehow still demanding his attention.
Max's thoughts raced. Should he text YN? Invite her to Zandvoort? The idea made his heart beat faster. He imagined seeing her in person for the first time, wondering if her smile would be as pretty as it was in her videos. But doubt crept in too. What if things were awkward? What if the chemistry they had online didn't translate to real life?
He rolled onto his side, eyeing his phone. The urge to reach out to her was strong, as it always was. Max realized that Lando and Daniel were right - he did like her. A lot. The thought of meeting her filled him with equal parts excitement and nervousness.
Taking a deep breath, Max grabbed his phone. Before he could overthink it, he started typing.
Hey YN, hope I'm not messaging too late. I was wondering if you'd like to come to the Dutch GP at Zandvoort? It's the first race after the summer break, and my home race. Thought it might be fun if you could make it.
He hit send before he could second-guess himself. The wait for her response felt eternal. When his phone finally buzzed, Max's heart leapt.
âââââââââ ౚৠâââââââââ
liked by maxverstappen1, redbullracing and 286,375 others
ynreadsbooks this weekâs video will be delayed for some ~personal reasons âșïž
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username1 GIRL
username2 ARE YOU GOING WHERE I THINK YOUâRE GOING
username3 f1 x books this is literally me
username4 hot girls support max verstappen
username5 ahh if sheâs going to the gp iâll be so happy bc sheâs a huge fan
username6 the way roles reversed and now max is his fan đ
redbullracing We canât wait đ
âł username1 REDBULL???
âł username2 AHHH THEY PROBABLY INVITED HER
âââââââââ ౚৠâââââââââ
As Max headed to Zandvoort Circuit for the Dutch Grand Prix, he felt the familiar weight of expectations settling on his shoulders.
The second half of the season loomed ahead, and the pressure to maintain his championship lead was on. He knew the team was counting on him to deliver strong results, especially at his home race where the orange-clad fans would be out in full force.
But amidst the pressure and responsibility, there was another emotion bubbling up inside him - a giddy excitement that he couldn't quite contain.
The thought of finally meeting YN in person after months of texts, calls, and shared book recommendations made his heart race in a way that had nothing to do with driving at a car at a very fast speed.
As he drove to the track, Max found himself smiling at random moments, his mind drifting to imagine what it would be like to see her smile in person, to hear her laugh without the filter of a phone call.
Max realized that for the first time in a long while, he was looking forward to a race weekend for reasons that extended beyond the track.
Unfortunately, his busy schedule kept them from meeting right away. Media commitments, team briefings, and practice sessions consumed his time, leaving him feeling frustrated and guilty for not being able to see her sooner. He sent her a quick message apologizing for the delay, promising they'd meet after qualifying.
As he made his way to the garage, a familiar voice called out behind him.
"Oi, Max! Ready for the big day?"
Max turned to see Daniel jogging up to him, his trademark grin in place.
"Yeah, should be a good quali," Max replied, trying to sound nonchalant.
Daniel raised an eyebrow. "I wasn't talking about qualifying, mate. Your special guest arrives today, right?"
Max felt his cheeks warm. "How did you even remember that?"
"Please," Daniel scoffed. "It's all you've been talking about for weeks. So, have you met her yet?"
"No, my schedule's been packed. We're supposed to meet after quali."
"Ah, saving the best for last, eh?" Daniel's grin widened, "Smart move. Nothing like the adrenaline of a good qualifying session to make a great first impression."
"Or to completely mess it up," Max muttered.
"Hey, none of that," Daniel clapped him on the shoulder. "You'll be fine. Just be yourself. She already likes you for who you are, remember?"
Max nodded, feeling a bit reassured. "Thanks, Dan."
With a deep breath, Max headed into the garage, Daniel's words echoing in his mind.
Qualifying went smoothly, with Max securing a front row start to the delight of the Dutch fans. The cheers of the home crowd were deafening as he climbed out of the car, but his mind was elsewhere.
After the post-qualifying interviews, Max sent YN a quick text letting her know that he was free now and she let him know that she was around the hospitality area.
As he walked towards there, Max spotted YN standing near one of the motorhomes, looking around with wide eyes. She hadn't seen him yet, and for a moment, Max just watched her, taking in the sight of the girl who had been on his mind for months now.
She was even more gorgeous in person than he had imagined.
Her eyes sparkled with excitement as she took in the bustling paddock around her. The way the sunlight caught her hair, the gentle curve of her smile as she observed everything with wonder - it all took Max's breath away.
He noticed little details he couldn't have seen through a screen: the way her eyes sparkled, the subtle freckles across her nose, the graceful way she moved as she looked around.
Taking a deep breath, Max walked over, his heart pounding. "YN?"
She turned, her face lighting up with a radiant smile that made Max's breath catch. "Max! Finally!"
They moved toward each other, and without hesitation, Max pulled her into a hug. The embrace felt natural, as if they'd done this a hundred times before. He was aware of how perfectly she fit in his arms, the subtle scent of her perfume, and the warmth of her body against his.
"It's so good to finally meet you," he murmured into her hair. "I'm so sorry it took so long, this weekend's been crazy."
She pulled back slightly, looking up at him with understanding in her eyes. "It's okay, Max. That qualifying was amazing! I've never experienced anything like it."
"I'm glad you enjoyed it. Come on, let me show you around."
He took her hand and he was struck by how natural it felt. Her fingers intertwined with his perfectly, and a warm sensation spread from their joined hands throughout his body.
They strolled through the paddock, Max pointing out the various team motorhomes, the garages, and the media center. YN was all wide-eyed fascination, asking questions and soaking in every detail. As they walked, Max found himself relaxing more and more, his previous nerves about their chemistry being gone fading away.
As they rounded a corner, they nearly bumped into Lando Norris. Who couldn't help but smirk at the sight of their hands intertwined.
"You guys met already!" he cheerfully said, "You must be YN."
Her cheeks flushed, clearly surprised that Max had mentioned her to his friends. Max felt a warmth spread through his chest at her reaction.
"Yeah, this is YN," Max said, unable to keep the smile off his face, "Meet Lando, the perpetual pain in my ass."
"Nice to finally meet the girl who's got Max reading," YN laughed, and Lando extended his hand, "Quite the accomplishment."
"Nice to meet you too, Lando," YN said, shaking his hand. "I've enjoyed watching you race, I'm a big fan. Congrats on the pole position."
"Cheers," Lando replied, then turned to Max with a mischievous glint in his eye. "So, has he bored you with car talk yet, or has he actually remembered how to discuss books?"
Max rolled his eyes good-naturedly. "Shouldn't you be preparing for tomorrow, Lando?"
"Alright, alright, I can take a hint," Lando chuckled. "Enjoy your tour, lovebirds!"
As Lando walked away, Max felt a mix of embarrassment and pleasure. He glanced at YN, relieved to see her smiling.
"Sorry about him," Max said, shaking his head with a chuckle. "Lando has a way of making everything awkward."
YN laughed softly, her eyes twinkling. "It's fine. He seems like fun."
They continued their walk, finally making their way to the rooftop terrace of the Red Bull hospitality area. The view was stunning, offering a panoramic look at the circuit and the sea of orange-clad fans below.
"This is incredible," YN said, leaning against the railing and taking it all in. "Thank you for showing me around, Max."
"Of course," Max said, standing beside her. "I'm really glad you could come."
They stood there for a moment, enjoying the view and each other's company. Max felt a sense of contentment wash over him, the stress of the weekend melting away in her presence.
"Max," YN said softly, turning to face him. "I know this weekend is important for you, and I don't want to be a distraction. But I'm really happy to be here and to finally meet you."
"You're not a distraction," Max replied, reaching out to take her hand again. "You're the best part of this weekend, honestly."
They shared a smile, Max was well aware of the butterflies that fluttered on his stomach and the high school girl blush his friends teased him about, but he didn't care. He felt happy with the pretty girl who had been his source of comfort for months, finally face to face.
"You know," YN said softly, "when I made that video calling you a misunderstood hero with a heart of gold, I never imagined I'd get to see it firsthand. But being here, seeing how you are with your team, with the fans⊠I was right about you, Max Verstappen."
Max felt a warmth spread through his chest at her words. He had always been guarded about his public image, but hearing her perspective meant more than he could ever imagine.
"I'm glad you think so," he said softly, his voice filled with sincerity. "You know, that video... it changed things for me. Not just because it led to us talking, but because it made me reflect on a lot of things."
"Who would've thought," YN said with a smile, "When I recorded that video, I never thought you would ever see it, let alone have an impact on you and let alone lead us to talking and me being here."
"Everything happens for a reason, right?"
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username1 OMFGGGG
username2 no one deserved this more than her for real
username3 SHE MET MAX TOO?? DESERVED
redbullracing Come back soon! đ
username4 red bull finally inviting people who actually love the sport
username5 GIRL WE NEED A VLOGGGG
username6 omg how did this happen spiiiill
âł ynreadsbooks let's say i got invited by the world champion
âł username1 WTF
âł username2 so MAX invited her not redbull help he really did become a fan after that video
danielricciardo Hope to see you around soon, love ! đ
âł username3 how do i sign up for this
username7 THAT PIC OF MAX IS SO BOYFRIEND CODED
maxversteppen1 Thank you so much for coming and making this day special âșïž
âł username1 OMG MAX
âł username2 i'd be screaming if i was her
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maxverstappen1 Enjoyed every moment in Zandvoort with this amazing atmosphere and the best company đ§Ą
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username1 KIIING
username2 how can a man be so babygirl
username3 all smiles even tho he finished p2
danielricciardo đŠđŠ
landonorris Simply lovely
âł username1 menace
username4 bro who got you smiling like that
ynreadsbooks â€ïž
âł username2 biggest max girlie
âł username3 WE NEED THAT VLOG
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When it came time for YN to leave the Netherlands, Max insisted on driving her to the airport himself. The car ride was filled with comfortable silence and soft conversation, both of them trying to stretch out their remaining time together.
Despite their short time together, Max found himself completely smitten, captivated by YN's intelligence, humor, and the way her eyes lit up when she talked about books or reacted to the thrill of the race.
He didn't want to admit it to himself, but he was head over heels for her.
As they stood in the departure terminal, Max felt an overwhelming urge to kiss her. He hesitated, his heart racing, but ultimately settled for a long, warm hug, breathing in her scent and committing it to memory. As he watched her walk through security, he already found himself missing her presence.
Now, a week later, Max was in Monza for the Italian Grand Prix. The day had been busy with media commitments and team meetings. Finally back in the quiet of his motorhome, Max flopped onto the couch, feeling drained but content. Without thinking, he reached for his phone and hit the FaceTime button next to YN's name.
Her smiling face appeared on the screen, and Max felt an immediate surge of warmth.
"Hey, you," she said, her voice soft and welcoming even through the phone's speakers.
"Hey," Max replied, unable to keep the grin off his face. "How's your day been?"
"Oh, you know, the usual. Editing videos, reading, missing the excitement of the paddock," YN teased. "How about you? Surviving the media circus?"
"Barely," Max groaned dramatically, "I swear, if I have to answer one more question about RedBull and their big mess, I might go mad."
YN laughed, the sound making Max's heart skip a beat. "Poor Max. Whatever shall we do to take your mind off your beloved team?"
"Well," Max said, shifting to get more comfortable, "I've been reading that new sci-fi book you recommended. 'The Martian-like Odyssey to Titan,' or whatever it's called."
"'Project Hail Mary,'" she corrected, "And? What do you think so far?"
"It's incredible!" Max's eyes lit up, "I mean, the science is fascinating, and the way the main character problem-solves is just... I don't know, it reminds me a bit of what we do in racing, you know? Constantly adapting, finding solutions on the fly."
"That's exactly why I thought you'd like it! The way Andy Weir writes about scientific problem-solving is so engaging."
They dove into an animated discussion about the book, Max marveling at how easily conversation flowed between them, how YN's passion for books was infectious. As they talked, a thought that had been brewing in Max's mind for days suddenly surfaced.
"YN," Max said, his voice softer than before. "There's actually something I've been wanting to ask you."
"Oh? What is it, Max?" she tilted her head, curiosity evident in her expression.
Max took a deep breath, suddenly feeling like he was about to qualify for a crucial race. "Well, I was wondering... have you ever been to Monaco?"
"No, actually, I haven't," YN's eyebrows raised in surprise, "It's always been on my travel wish list, though. Why do you ask?"
Max felt his heart rate pick up. He'd rehearsed this moment in his head countless times over the past few days, but now that it was here, he found himself fumbling for words.
"Well, you see, I have a two-week break coming up before the Baku GP, and I was thinking... maybe... if you're free, of course, and if you'd like to... you could come visit me in Monaco?"
The words tumbled out faster than he intended, and Max felt a blush creeping up his neck. He watched YN's face carefully, trying to gauge her reaction. His mind raced with possibilities - what if she said no? What if this was too forward?
YN's eyes widened, and for a moment, she seemed at a loss for words. "Oh, Max, that's... wow. That's really sweet of you to offer."
Max, sensing a hint of hesitation, quickly added, "You could stay at my place. I have plenty of room, and it would be great to have you around. Plus I have two adorable cats that I'm sure you'd love."
YN's expression softened, a mix of excitement and uncertainty in her eyes. "That sounds amazing, Max. But⊠are you sure? I wouldn't want to impose on your personal space or your time off."
Truth was, Max wanted to spent every free moment he had with her, but he wasn't sure how to let her know without sounding too forward or like a creep, so he just pressed on.
"You wouldn't be imposing at all, I promise. I really want us to spend more time together, away from the craziness of the race weekends. And I'd love to show you around Monaco."
He watched as YN bit her lip, considering his offer. The silence stretched for a moment, and Max found himself holding his breath.
"If you're not comfortable staying at my place," he added quickly, "I could book you a hotel room, or there are some great Airbnbs with amazing views of the harbor. Whatever makes you feel most at ease. I just⊠I really want to see you again."
As he spoke, Max realized just how true his words were. The thought of having YN in his space, sharing meals, exploring the city together - it filled him with a warmth he couldn't quite describe. It was more than just attraction; there was a comfort in her presence that he craved.
YN smiled, a warm look in her eyes. "You really mean that, don't you?"
"I do. Look, I know it might seem like a big ask, but I just... I can't stop thinking about how much fun we have together. And Monaco is beautiful this time of year. We could go for drives along the coast, have dinner at some amazing restaurants, or just relax by the pool if you prefer. No pressure, just... us. And well, the cats."
Max held his breath, waiting for her response. The thought of having YN in Monaco, of being able to spend uninterrupted time with her away from the pressures of the race weekend, made his heart soar. He imagined showing her his favorite spots in the city, maybe taking her out on his boat, or just lounging by the pool and talking for hours.
"Alright, Verstappen, you've convinced me. But I have one condition."
"Name it." Max grinned, relief and excitement washing over him.
"If I'm staying at your place, you have to let me cook my infamous waffles for breakfast. They're a secret family recipe, and I guarantee they'll be the best you've ever tasted."
"Deal," Max's smile widened, a burst of joy exploding in his chest. "But I warn you, I take my waffles very seriously. They better live up to the hype."
"Oh, they will. And I can't wait to meet the cats."
As they continued to chat and make plans for YN's visit, Max felt a warmth spreading through his chest. The prospect of having YN in his home, of waking up and knowing she was just in the next room, of being able to spend lazy mornings together over homemade waffles - it all seemed almost too good to be true.
He found himself imagining what it would be like to have her there. Would she curl up on his couch with a book? Would they watch the sunset from his terrace? Would he finally get the courage to kiss her?
The thought made his heart race. He remembered the moment at the airport when he had wanted so badly to kiss her goodbye. This time, he promised himself, he wouldn't let the opportunity pass by.
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The day of YN's arrival in Monaco had finally come, and Max felt like a giddy teenager preparing for his first date.
In the days leading up to YN's visit, Max had found himself unusually preoccupied with preparations. He wanted everything to be perfect for YN's stay. He'd bought new sheets for the guest bedroom, making sure they were the softest he could find. He'd stocked the fridge with an array of foods, unsure of her preferences but making sure to have options. He'd even gone so far as to buy a small collection of books he thought she might enjoy, arranging them carefully on the nightstand in her room.
The morning of her arrival, Max woke up early, his stomach a knot of excitement and nerves. He double-checked everything one last time - fresh towels in the bathroom, extra toiletries in case she forgot anything, a vase of fresh flowers on the kitchen counter to brighten up the space. He felt almost silly with how much effort he was putting in, but he couldn't help himself. He wanted everything to be perfect for the girl he was smitten with.
As the time to leave for the airport approached, Max found himself pacing, checking his watch every few minutes. He'd planned the route to the airport meticulously, factoring in potential traffic to make sure he'd be there in plenty of time. Just as he was about to grab his keys and head out, the doorbell rang.
Confused, Max paused. He wasn't expecting anyone - he'd made sure to clear his schedule completely for YN's visit. Frowning slightly, he opened the door to find Lando standing there, a wide grin on his face.
"Lando? What are you doing here?" Max asked, glancing at his watch.
"What, can't a mate drop by for a visit?" Lando replied, trying to peer past Max into the apartment. "Thought we could hang out, maybe play some FIFA."
Max shifted awkwardly, blocking the doorway. "Lando, mate, I'm actually just about to head out. I can't hang out right now."
"Oh, come on," Lando's grin faltered slightly, "Just for a bit? We haven't had a proper catch-up in ages."
"I'm sorry, I really can't," Max insisted, glancing at his watch nervously. "I have to pick up a friend from the airport."
Lando's eyes narrowed suspiciously, a mischievous glint appearing. "A friend, huh? Is it that your book dream girl? You're flying her out over here?"
Max felt his face heat up, a blush creeping up his neck. He tried to deny it, but his reaction gave him away.
"It is! Oh man, this is brilliant," Lando's eyes widened in delight, "Max Verstappen, blushing like a schoolboy over a girl."
"Shut up," Max grumbled, but there was no real annoyance in his voice. He couldn't help but smile.
"So, YN is finally gracing Monaco with her presence," Lando teased. "No wonder you've been so distracted lately. When do I get to hang out with her?"
"You don't," Max rolled his eyes, "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go."
"Alright, alright," Lando stepped aside, still grinning. "But I want details later, yeah? And tell YN I said hi."
Max waved him off, hurrying to his car. Despite Lando's teasing, he couldn't wipe the smile off his face. The excitement was bubbling up inside him again as he drove to the airport.
As he parked and made his way to the arrivals area, Max felt his nerves almost making him want to throw up. He found himself fidgeting, alternating between pacing and sitting, his eyes glued to the arrivals board.
Finally, he saw that YN's flight had landed. His heart rate picked up as he watched the doors, scanning the crowd for her familiar face. And then, suddenly, there she was.
YN emerged from the arrivals gate, looking a bit tired from the journey but still radiant. Her eyes scanned the crowd, and when they landed on Max, her face lit up with a brilliant smile.
Max felt his breath catch in his throat. He raised his hand in a small wave, a grin spreading across his face as he walked towards her.
"Hey, Max," she said as she reached him, her voice warm and slightly breathless.
"Hey," he replied, suddenly feeling shy. "How was your flight?"
Without thinking, he pulled her into a hug. As he wrapped his arms around her, breathing in the scent of her hair, he felt a sense of rightness wash over him. It was as if all the pieces were falling into place.
"It was good, just long," she hugged him back tightly. "I'm so glad to be here though."
As they pulled apart, Max found himself reluctant to let go completely. He kept one hand on her back as he reached for her suitcase with the other. "Here, let me get that for you."
"Always the gentleman," YN teased, but her smile was soft and appreciative.
As they walked towards the exit, Max found himself stealing glances at her, still hardly believing she was really here. "So, um, I thought we could grab some lunch if you're hungry? Or if you're tired, we can head straight to my place so you can rest."
YN considered for a moment. "Lunch sounds great, actually. I'm starving, and I'm too excited to sleep just yet. I want to see Monaco."
Max chuckled, feeling a warmth spread through his chest at her enthusiasm. "Lunch it is then. I know just the place â it has a great view of the harbor."
As they made their way to Max's car, chatting easily about YN's flight and Max's plans for her visit, Max felt a sense of contentment he hadn't experienced in a long time. The nervousness from earlier had melted away, replaced by pure happiness.
Loading YN's suitcase into the trunk, Max caught her eye and smiled. "I'm really glad you're here, YN."
She returned his smile, her eyes sparkling. "Me too, Max. Me too."
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username1 AWEEE
username2 those are cute kittens
username3 those look like max verstappen's cats
username4 JIMMY AND SASSY VERSTAPPEN??
âł username1 how CRAZY would it be
danielricciardo Don't hesitate to shout if he's much trouble
âł username2 HOLD ON??
âł ynreadsbooks he's just fine don't worry đ
âł username3 IS SHE REALLY WITH MAX??
âł maxverstappen1 I'm not trouble...
âł username1 OMFGGG
âł username4 THIS PLOT TWIST
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Three days had passed since YN's arrival in Monaco, and Max couldn't remember a time when he'd been happier.
True to her word, YN had cooked her infamous waffles for breakfast on the second morning of her stay. As Max had taken his first bite, his eyes had widened in surprise and delight. The waffles were light and crispy on the outside, yet fluffy on the inside, with a perfect balance of sweetness and a hint of vanilla. He'd declared them the best he'd ever tasted, earning a proud smile from her.
The days that followed had been filled with laughter, conversation, and exploration. They'd spent hours by Max's pool, talking about everything and nothing. YN would often bring a book, reading aloud passages that she found particularly interesting or amusing, while Max listened, content to hear her voice and watch the way her eyes lit up when she spoke about something she loved.
They'd explored Monaco together, with Max showing YN his favorite spots and discovering new ones together. He'd taken her to the Monte Carlo Casino, where they'd marveled at the architecture and people-watched. They'd strolled through the streets of Monaco-Ville, the old town, where YN had been enchanted by the colorful buildings. They'd even spent an afternoon at the Oceanographic Museum, where YN's enthusiasm for learning had been infectious, and Max had found himself just as excited as she was about the marine life exhibits.
Throughout it all, Max felt himself falling deeper for her. It wasn't just her beauty or her intelligence that captivated him, but the way she saw the world. Her curiosity, her kindness, her ability to find joy in the smallest things - it all made Max see his surroundings through new eyes. He found himself noticing details he'd never paid attention to before, appreciating moments he might have otherwise overlooked.
What struck Max most was how easy and right it all felt. There was no pressure, no awkwardness. Being with YN was as natural as breathing. They could talk for hours without running out of things to say, but they were also comfortable in silence, simply enjoying each other's presence.
As they returned from another long day of exploring the city, both Max and YN retreated to their respective rooms to change into more comfortable clothing. Max opted for a soft t-shirt and sweatpants, relishing the feeling of being relaxed and at ease in his own home.
When he emerged from his room, he found YN already settled on his couch, her legs tucked under her, a book in her hands and one of his cats curling beside her. She was wearing one the t-shirt she picked the night she arrived when she realized she forgot to pack pajamas. It was too big for her frame but Max felt like melting knowing she was wearing his shirt.
The sight made Max's heart skip a beat. There was something so intimate and domestic about the scene - YN looking completely at home in his space, in his clothes, absorbed in a book as if she'd always been there.
Max couldn't help but smile, a warmth spreading through his chest. He found himself wanting this view in his life every day - coming home to find YN there, comfortable and content. The thought both thrilled and terrified him. He'd never felt this way about anyone before, never wanted to intertwine his life so completely with another person's.
YN looked up from her book, catching Max's gaze. Her lips curved into a soft smile. "Hey. Want to join me?"
Without hesitation, Max crossed the room. Instead of sitting next to her, he surprised both of them by lying down on the couch and resting his head in her lap. He looked up at her, his eyes vulnerable. "Would you read to me?"
YN's expression softened, her eyes twinkling with affection. "Of course," she said, her free hand moving to gently run her fingers through his hair.
Max closed his eyes, reveling in the sensation. He felt her shift slightly, getting comfortable, and then her voice filled the air, soft and melodious as she began to read.
Max's lips curved into a smile. "Emma," he murmured. "I remember you mentioning it was one of your favorites."
YN paused her reading, looking down at him with surprise and pleasure. "You remembered that?"
"Of course," Max opened his eyes, meeting her gaze. "I remember everything you tell me."
A huge grin appeared in YN's face, and she bent down to press a soft kiss to Max's forehead. The gesture was so natural, so tender, that it made Max's heart flutter.
As she continued to read, her fingers still combing through his hair, Max found himself only half-listening to the words. Instead, he was acutely aware of every point of contact between them - the warmth of her lap under his head, the gentle touch of her fingers, the soft cadence of her voice washing over him.
In that moment, Max realized with startling clarity that this was what he wanted for the rest of his life. Not just the glamour of racing or the thrill of victory, but this - quiet moments of intimacy, the comfort of being with someone who understood him, who made him want to be better.
He reached up, gently taking YN's free hand in his own, intertwining their fingers. She paused in her reading, looking down at him with a question in her eyes.
"YN," Max said softly, his voice filled with emotion. "I'm really glad you're here."
She squeezed his hand, her smile radiant. "So am I, Max. So am I."
As she resumed reading, her voice mixing with the soft sound of the Mediterranean breeze outside, Max closed his eyes again, a sense of peace settling over him. Whatever the future held, he knew that this moment, this feeling, was something he'd cherish forever.
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username1 GIRL
username2 THIS ESCALATED QUICKLY
username3 how do you go from max randomly commenting one of your videos to this
username4 girl we can tell that's max dw đđ
username5 YOU OWE US A TWO HOUR STORYTIME VIDEO
username6 anything you want to tell us best friend?
username7 she just had a book and a dream fr
landonorris Has he bored you yet?
âł username1 IM DYING
âł username2 she really masterminded her way into the f1 circle
âł ynreadsbooks he's nice, makes good smoothies đ
âł maxverstappen1 Good to know that â€ïž
âł landonorris I'm disgusted
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As the final day of YN's stay in Monaco dawned, Max found himself feeling so many bittersweet emotions. The past week had been nothing short of magical, and the thought of it coming to an end left a hollow feeling in his chest. She hadn't even left yet, and already he missed her.
For their final day, Max had decided to take YN out on his yacht. He wanted their last hours together to be special, just the two of them away from the bustling streets of Monaco. As they prepared for the day, packing a picnic and gathering sunscreen and towels, Max couldn't help but reflect on the past week.
Daniel and Lando had teased him mercilessly about his sudden disappearance from their usual hangouts. They'd made jokes about Max being "whipped" and how he'd fallen hard for his "YouTube dream girl." But Max didn't care. He was too happy, too caught up in the bubble of joy that surrounded him and YN.
As they boarded the yacht, the Mediterranean stretching out before them in shades of turquoise, Max felt a pang in his chest. This perfect week was coming to an end, and he wasn't sure he was ready to face reality again.
Once they were out on the open water. YN leaned over the railing, a look of wonder on her face.
"This is incredible, Max," she said, turning to him with a dazzling smile. "I can't believe I'm here, experiencing all of this."
Max moved to stand beside her, their shoulders brushing. "I'm going to miss you," he said softly, "This week has been⊠I don't even have words for it."
"I'm going to miss you too, Max. So much. But you know I have to go back home. I have videos to make for my channel, work stuff to catch up onâŠ"
Max nodded, understanding but not liking it. "Maybe you could make a video about 'A Week with an F1 Driver'? I'm sure your subscribers would love that."
YN laughed, playfully shoving his shoulder. "Oh yes, I'm sure that would go over well. 'Day 3: Watched Max eat his bodyweight in pasta. Day 5: Learned that F1 drivers are actually big babies when they lose at Mario Kart.'"
"I am not a baby!" Max gasped in mock offense. "I'm just⊠competitive."
"Uh-huh, sure," she teased, her eyes twinkling. "Is that why you pouted for an hour after I beat you?"
"I did not pout," Max protested, but he was grinning.
"You know, it's still surreal to me that a random video I published got us here. If someone had told me a year ago that I'd be spending a week in Monaco with Max Verstappen, I would have laughed in their face."
Max reached out, caressing her cheek softly. "I'm glad you made that video," he said softly. "I'm glad I stumbled across it. I can't imagine not knowing you now."
As they stood together on the boat, the gentle rocking of the waves mirroring the tumultuous emotions within them, Max found his gaze drawn to YN's lips. They were slightly parted, soft and inviting. His heart raced as he lifted his eyes to meet hers, a silent question in his gaze.
YN's eyes, warm and full of affection, met his. A small, knowing smile played at the corners of her mouth, and in that moment, it was all the permission Max needed.
With a gentle tug, he pulled her closer, one hand coming to rest on the small of her back while the other cupped her cheek. Time seemed to slow as he leaned in, their breaths mingling in the space between them. And then, finally, their lips met.
The kiss was tender at first, a soft exploration. But as YN's arms wrapped around his neck, her fingers threading through his hair, it deepened into something more passionate. Max poured all of his pent-up emotions into the kiss - his joy, his longing, his hope for what they could be.
When they finally parted, YN's eyes were sparkling. "You know," she said, a playful tone to her voice, "I've been waiting for you to do that all week."
Max couldn't help but laugh, a mixture of relief and happiness bubbling up inside him. "Really? All week, huh?"
"Mmhmm," she nodded, her smile widening. "I was starting to think I'd have to make the first move myself."
"Well," Max said, his voice low and teasing, "allow me to make up for lost time."
With that, he pulled her in for another kiss. This one was different from the first - more confident, more passionate. His hands roamed her back, pulling her flush against him as her fingers tangled in his hair. The world around them faded away until there was nothing but the two of them, the taste of salt on their lips, and the warmth of the setting sun on their skin.
When they broke apart this time, both were slightly dazed. Max rested his forehead against YN's, unwilling to put any distance between them.
"I really like you," he said softly, his voice thick with emotion. "More than I've ever liked anyone before. This week with you⊠it's been incredible. I don't want it to end."
YN's hand came up to cup his cheek, her thumb gently stroking his skin. "I really like you too, Max," she replied, her voice equally soft. "These past few days have been like a dream."
Max pulled back slightly, just enough to meet her eyes. "I know you have to go back, but⊠I want to make this work. Us, I mean. If that's something you want too."
"I do want that. Very much. It might not be easy with our schedules and the distance, but I think you're worth it."
"We'll figure it out," he said, determination clear in his voice. "I'll come visit you when I can, and you can come to some of my races. We'll make time for video calls, and I'll text you so much you'll get sick of me."
YN laughed, the sound like music to Max's ears. "I don't think I could ever get sick of you," she said, her eyes twinkling. "But I'm holding you to that promise about the races. I expect VIP treatment, Mr. Verstappen."
Max grinned, pulling her close again. "For you? Always," he murmured, before capturing her lips in another kiss.
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The month following YN's stay in Monaco had been blissful happiness for both YN and Max. Their parting at the airport had been bittersweet, filled with lingering kisses and tight embraces. They had spent a good hour cuddling in Max's car in the airport parking lot, neither wanting to let go.
"I'm going to miss you so much," YN had whispered, her face buried in the crook of Max's neck.
Max had tightened his arms around her, breathing in her scent. "I'll miss you too. But we'll see each other soon, I promise."
When they finally managed to separate, their goodbye kiss had been passionate and filled with promise. As Max watched her disappear into the airport, he already felt a piece of his heart leaving with her.
In the weeks that followed, they took every opportunity to be together. Max would fly to YN's home during his breaks between races, often arriving exhausted but immediately revitalized by her presence.
Their reunions were always intense, filled with desperate kisses and roaming hands as they made up for lost time. But it was the quiet moments that Max treasured most - waking up with YN in his arms, her sleepy smile the first thing he saw; cooking breakfast together, stealing kisses between flipping pancakes; or simply sitting in comfortable silence, each lost in their own tasks but finding comfort in the other's presence.
Now, as they walked hand in hand through the paddock in Austin for the USA Grand Prix, Max felt a sense of pride and joy unlike anything he'd experienced before. Having YN by his side at a race weekend, this time as more than just a friend, felt right in a way he couldn't fully express.
"This is incredible, Max," YN breathed, squeezing his hand. "I don't think I'll ever get used to it."
Max grinned, his heart swelling with affection. He loved seeing the paddock through her eyes, rediscovering the magic that he sometimes took for granted.
"Wait until you see the track," he said, pulling her closer. "And the sound when all the cars start up⊠there's nothing like it."
They paused for a moment, watching as a group of mechanics wheeled a set of tires past them. Max took the opportunity to really look at his girl. She was radiant in the sunlight, her hair catching the light and her eyes sparkling with excitement. He couldn't resist leaning in to place a soft kiss on her cheek.
YN turned to him, a playful smile on her lips. "What was that for?"
"Do I need a reason to kiss my girl?" Max replied, his voice low and teasing.
She laughed, the sound music to his ears. "I suppose not. But maybe save some for later? We are in public, after all."
"You're killing me," Max groaned dramatically. "How am I supposed to focus on racing when you look like that?"
"Oh, I'm sure you'll manage," YN teased, patting his chest. "After all, I hear you're quite good at this driving thing."
Their playful banter was interrupted by a familiar voice calling out. "Oi, Verstappen! Finally decided to grace us with your presence?"
Max turned to see Daniel approaching, his trademark grin in place. Lando was close behind, an equally mischievous look on his face.
"Hey guys," Max greeted, unconsciously pulling YN closer. "You remember YN, right?"
"Ah yes," Daniel's grin widened. "Nice to see you again, love."
"It's great to see you too, Daniel," she smiled warmly. "And you, Lando."
Lando's eyes darted between Max and YN, a knowing smirk playing on his lips. "So, Max, finally managed to seal the deal, huh?"
Max felt his cheeks heat up, but before he could respond, YN jumped in.
"Oh, he did more than that," she said, her tone light but with a hint of something that made Max's pulse quicken. "He's been quite⊠impressive."
Daniel let out a low whistle while Lando burst into laughter. Max couldn't help but join in, marveling at how effortlessly YN fit into his world.
As they chatted, Max couldn't keep his hands off YN. He found himself constantly touching her - a hand on the small of her back, playing with her fingers, rubbing her arm softly. Each touch was like a spark, reminding him of their passionate reunions over the past month.
He thought back to their last meeting, just a week ago. He had flown to her place straight after he was done with some meetings in Monaco, exhausted but desperate to see her. The moment he stepped through her door, all fatigue had vanished. They had barely made it to the bedroom, leaving a trail of clothes in their wake. The memory of her skin against his, the taste of her lips, the sound of her gasps and moans⊠it was enough to make him want to whisk her away to his motorhome right now.
Max was pulled from his thoughts by the approach of another familiar face. Charles Leclerc was walking towards them, his trademark charming smile in place.
"Max! Good to see you, man," Charles said, clapping Max on the shoulder before turning his attention to YN. "And who might this lovely lady be?"
Without hesitation, the words tumbled from Max's lips: "This is YN, my girlfriend."
He felt the girl stiffen slightly beside him, and for a moment, panic flared in his chest. Had he overstepped? They hadn't explicitly discussed labels yet. But when he glanced at YN, she was smiling warmly at Charles, her hand still firmly in Max's.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Charles," YN said, shaking his hand.
Charles raised an eyebrow at Max, a hint of surprise in his expression. "The pleasure is all mine. I hope you're enjoying your time in the paddock."
After exchanging a few more pleasantries, they parted ways. Max led YN towards his driver's room. Once inside the relative privacy of the small space, YN turned to him, a playful glint in her eye.
"Girlfriend, huh?" she said, her tone light but with an undercurrent of something Max couldn't quite identify.
Max felt a flutter of nervousness in his stomach. "I⊠yeah. I mean, if that's okay? I know we haven't really talked about it, butâŠ"
YN stepped closer, her fingers playing with the collar of his shirt. "It's more than okay, Max. I was just surprised. We've been in this beautiful bubble, and hearing you say it out loud⊠it made it feel real in a way it hasn't before."
Max let out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. His hands found their way to YN's waist, pulling her closer. "It is real," he said softly. "I've never felt this way about anyone before. Feels like you're everything."
Her eyes softened, her hand coming up to cup his cheek. "You're everything to me too, Max. I love you."
The words hung in the air between them for a moment, both realizing it was the first time either had said it. Then Max surged forward, capturing YN's lips in a kiss that was equal parts tender and passionate.
When they broke apart. Max rested his forehead against YN's, his eyes closed as he savored the moment.
"I love you too," he whispered. "God, YN, I love you so much."
YN's answering smile was radiant and she pulled him in for another kiss.
"So," he said, his voice husky, "ready to watch your boyfriend win a race?"
YN laughed, the sound filling the small space and Max's heart. "Always," she replied. "My misunderstood hero with a heart of gold."
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Something you paid for
Fernando Alonso x Reader
Summary: Two years into the best relationship of your life, you find out that Fernando thinks you don't love him. But it get worse and you realize the whole world think of you as gold digger.
Word count: 5.7k
Tags: female!reader, established relationship, slut shaming, reader is confused, fernando is even more confused, miscommunication, cursing, a bit angsty, hurt/comfort, soft smut (almost not there), happy ending, not beta read
Relationship: Fernando Alonso x Reader
Note: I'm honestly not 100% sure about this story, a had another ending planned but I wanted it to be HEA. I don't know. :(
I'm sorry if it's rushed or full of mistakes. Feedback and opinions are appreciated xx
Find me on Twitter!
It was supposed to be just a pause in your studies. Something quick since your brain was already mushy from studying and writing your research for too long.
So when you picked up your phone, to aimlessly scroll through social media, you didnât expect to see a new, sudden rush of comments on your instagram page. There were thousands of comments in your last post, calling you a gold digger, and much, much worse. Ever since you started dating Fernando, you had been getting these comments, and in the beginning they were worse but slowed down with time. Now they were on a new high again. Confused more than anything, you went on to try and find out what happened for this to happen all of a sudden. You and Fernando hadnât gone out together for more than two weeks and you hadnât been to a race week for a month.
After digging you eventually found out what happened. Deuxmoi posted something that made everyone quickly think it was you.
A lady whoâs 12 years younger than her famous Spanish Formula One driver boyfriend, is known for being with him for his money. Many tried to warn him, but it seems like he doesnât believe or doesnât care.
Confused, you stared at the post, scrolling through hundreds of nasty, poisonous comments. That wasnât true. Fernando did give you lots of presents and spoiled you a lot but he did this out of his own want, not because you asked for or demanded it. He was constantly giving you things, especially clothes, shoes and bags, and loved seeing you wearing them. He also gave you an Aston Martin car on your last birthday. He even went as far as getting you a credit card attached to his, for whenever you needed to buy books or go on a shopping spree. You never minded it because you knew he liked it, instead of refusing you were just grateful for his generosity.
You wondered if you should talk about it with him, but deep down you knew Fernando was never one to care for gossip of any kind. And this probably wasnât even true to begin with, just someone trying to stir the pot. So you just limited the comments in your posts and went on about your day.
A week later you went to the race, it was Silverstone, and the last before summer break. You decided to dress your best, wearing clothes that were pretty and elegant and had been given to you by Fernando.
He always treated you like a princess, he was kind and patient, and always found a way to align your schedules to spend time together. He liked taking you on trips during summer break and to ski trips during winter break. Fernando adored having you around in race weeks, you could see in his face that he was radiant with your presence. And you loved all the gifts and the trips but you especially loved staying home with him, lazing around, making love on the sofa and taking walks hand in hand in his hometown. You loved helping him cook, trying your best to follow his orders and not mess up his recipes.Â
You walked into the paddock hand in hand, and you kept him company whenever you could. He would keep you around the most, only letting you go when he had meetings or media duties. During that time, you would go back to his room and do a little more of your research, writing your thesis.
You left his room so you could grab a snack and a coffee at the hospitality, but as you passed by a hallway, you heard someone saying your name in conversation. You stopped, leaning against the wall to hear, with a glance, you saw two mechanics talking.
âSeems like everyone tried to warn him, man. But itâs like he doesnât mind dating a gold digger.â
âIs she a gold digger, really?â
âMan, she doesnât do anything! She doesn't even work.â
âHas anyone warned Fernando?â
âEveryone.â
You went back inside his driverâs room, sitting down, completely shocked. So thatâs what people thought of you? You knew people on the internet talked about it, but they were strangers so you wouldnât allow yourself to mind because those people didnât know you. But the people in the garage? Theyâve known you for almost two years now, you were always kind and polite to them, even going as far as bringing them cookies and donuts as thank you for welcoming you so well.
You avoided crying, it would ruin your makeup, and Fernando would notice it very quickly. So you just sat there, numb. Thinking about how everyone believed you were with Fernando because of his money and nothing else.
When Fernando found you again, before he had to go get ready for the race, he noticed you were a little down.
âYou should not study so hard on the weekends, princesa.â He muttered, hugging you from behind and leaving a gentle kiss to your neck. Of course, he would think you were just tired.
âYou are absolutely right, mi amor,â you smiled a little, turning around so you could hug him properly, âdo you have time for a little kiss?â
âEven two,â he joked.
You ended up sitting on his lap, making out like two teenagers, until someone knocked on the door, calling Fernando to go get ready.
âHey, good luck, yeah?â You said, kissing him one more time then kissing the back of his hand, âI love you.â
You watched the race from the garage, feeling self conscious now that it seemed like everyone thought you were leeching off of Fernando.
In the end, Fernando got P3 which was a great result and you celebrated wildly, proudly watching him get on the podium.
After his post race meetings, you met him in his room.
âLetâs go out to celebrate! Dinner is on me!â You hugged him, mood better now than before.
You and him ended up going out for dinner, at a high end restaurant, dressed to the nines. It was fun, you listened to Fernando talking about the race, then he asked you what you thought about the race.
Before dessert, you went into the bathroom to retouch your makeup and freshen up. When you came back, your tiramisu was already there. You and Fernando shared the dessert, laughing to each other.
When the waitress came, you picked the opportunity.
âDear, can we get the tab please?â
âItâs already taken care of, Madam.â
Your smile faltered, and you looked at Fernando as she left. He was smiling like he couldnât hold it in.
âFernando! I said dinner was on me!â
âWhy would I let you pay, princesa?â
âBecause you got a podium today! As a celebration!â You whined, upset. Fernando pulled your chair, until you were right beside him and he kissed your cheek.
âI like paying for you, Hermosa,â Fernando stood up, offering you a hand, âcome on, you can treat me right in our hotel room, what about that?â
You smiled as he pulled you away, but something still nagged at your brain.
You and Fernando took the private plane back to Madrid after the date, because he had sponsor meetings over the week, and you honestly wanted to sleep in your bed. The trip was quick, and while Fernando took a nap, you tried studying, but your mind kept going back to being called a gold digger.
Deep down, you really wanted to talk to Fernando about it, but you were unsure if he could fix this in any way. What could he do? Make a post on instagram saying hey, my girlfriend isnât leeching off of me as most you think!? You did live with Fernando, for six months now, and he paid all the bills and the house was his. But he also gave you many many gifts.
When you got home, putting your bags inside the closet, you two just changed into sleepwear, ready to doze off.
Then Fernando opened his bag and grabbed a small box.
âOh, I had forgotten! Got you a present last week in Austria!â
He handed you the box, and with your heart beating fast, you opened it to a beautiful vintage watch. It was gold, delicate with a beautiful bracelet. There was a lump in your throat as you stared at the piece.
âYou didnât like it? Itâs ok, princesa, Iâll get you another one,â he said, with a gentle smile.
âI donât need another watch, Nando. You gave me this one not even a month ago,â you raised your wrist, showing him the brand new one he gave you.
âI want to give it to you. It doesnât matter,â he shrugged.
âAnd I donât want it,â god, you didnât want to sound so ungrateful, but how could you tell him that his presents felt like something else now? âYou have to stop giving me so many presents,â you said, trying to put into words what you were feeling.
âBut thatâs how I won you over, why would you refuse my presents now?â
Something about the nonchalance in his voice made you stop, stomach dropping. Thatâs how I won you over? Thatâs how he believed your relationship came to be? Thatâs why he thought you were together?
âWhat did you say?â You paused, suddenly turning to him, it felt like a punch to the throat, âYou- you believe Iâm a gold digger? You believe it?â
Fernando walked up to you, putting both hands on your waist, a soft smile gracing his face.
âAmor, you know I donât mind spending my money on you. Quite the opposite, I love to spoil you.â
You stood there, speechless for a couple of seconds. Then you snapped out of it, pushing his hands off you.
âThatâs not what I asked!â Your voice sounded louder, you tried to regain your composure, âpeople talk a lot, the press too, but you know the truth, right?!â
âIâm a rich man, I like providing you with the luxurious lifestyle you lead. I donât care that you enjoy my money.â
His words made it so much worse. It made you nauseous, the idea that all this time, heâs been thinking of you as a gold digger, as someone whoâs only with him for his money and for what he could provide for you.
âNo, Fernando- no!â Your voice wavered, âthatâs not true! I love you, you know that right?â
âWhy are you so caught up in some silly rumor?
âYou know right? You know I love you.â You pressed further waiting for an answer. Hoping against hope that he knew it deep down, that he could acknowledge that you harbored love for him.
âAmor, we have such a great dynamic like this. I donât need your love, just your loyalty and for you to be my pretty girl.â
He was so calm and reassuring, like he had made peace with the fact that you didnât love him. Like he wasnât bothered at all by the fact that you were supposedly a gold digger. His dismissal broke something inside you.
âSo you donât- you donât believe I love you?â
You felt pathetic and helpless, repeating the same words again and again, hoping and praying for a different answer from Fernando.
âCome on, Iâm really tired, can we go to sleep?
âFernando.â
âIâm going to wait for you in bed,â was all he said, dismissing you completely.
You walked out of the room at the same time he went into the bathroom, you held your head up until you softly closed the door behind you, then finally the tears spilled. You went to the bathroom downstairs, the farthest you could go away from him as the sobs broke from your throat violently.
Sliding down on the floor you wondered if everything was lie. You knew it wasnât but the fact that he thought you were only there for the money was completely wrong. How long had he been thinking that? How many times had he heard you say âI love youâ and thought it wasnât true? You didnât even know what to do or what to feel. How could you feel if this whole time while you were pouring your heart into this relationship he thought you were just leeching off of him? How can you love someone so deeply and still live with the fact they think of you as a freeloader? Did he joke with his friends like yeah, sheâs a gold digger but at least sheâs loyal and fucks me well?Â
Your chest hurt and you felt repulsive, making your way to the living room, opening a bottle of his whiskey, not bothering with a glass, just sipping it straight from the bottle.
What could you do now? Talk to him? Tell him youâre not with him for his money? After two whole years accepting his every gift with open arms? After getting a fortune worth of presents? After letting him pay for your books, textbooks, new laptop? After letting him pay for dates, trips, clothes, accessories, shoes and jewelry?
You hated yourself for it now. For taking it just because you thought it was his love language, not because deep down he was trying to keep you, buying your affection.
After spending the whole night awake, nursing a bottle and with only your repulsive thoughts as company, you watched as the sun rose from the big living room window.
It was time to fix it.
Fernando was an early riser almost every morning, so after the sun fully rose in the sky, you went in the kitchen and prepared coffee, to cut the effect of the alcohol. You werenât drunk, really.
âMorning, bebĂ©! You woke up earlier than me today?â He said, passing you with a kiss to your cheek, then going to the cabinet for a mug. He was so unbothered by your argument last night it was pissing you off.
âI didnât sleep.â
He paused, looking at your face.
âWe should talk.â You readied yourself. Fernando stopped in front of you, attentive. âIâve been hearing a lot this past week that Iâm a gold digger, this has been making me feel some kind of way, and I wanted to address this with you. Last night you were tired and we probably misunderstood each otherâŠâ
âWhere are you going with this, corazĂłn?â He asked, confused.
âIâm not with you for your money, Fernando. Do you understand that?â
He stood silent, which only made you feel worse.
âI want you to stop giving me presents without a proper occasion. And I want you to stop paying stuff for me. And weâre going to share house bills.â You laid it all out, after thinking hard all throughout the night.
âWhat are you talking about? No, I donât accept it.â He frowned, âthat wasnât the deal when we moved in together.â
âBecause I didnât know everything back then. I donât want to feel like Iâm taking advantage of you, and I donât live at your cost like this.â
âNo, Y/N.â He took a step back, shaking his head as if you had said the most stupid thing he had ever heard.
âIâm serious, Fernando.â
âNo, Iâm not negotiating this. I pay for everything. Thatâs how itâs been and thatâs how it will be.â
âI just want to show you that Iâm not with you for the money! Iâm not what theyâre calling me! No more presents, Fernando.â
âYou took them.â
âBecause I thought you wanted me to have them!â
âI wanted you to have them so you would want to stay with me!â
You gasped, hearing it from his mouth finally. The tears finally started flowing, and you swallowed, trying to keep your voice steady even with the tempest happening inside your chest, staining the beautiful story of your relationship. Well, what you thought was a beautiful relationship.
âYouâre just like them, right?â You said, defeated, âyou think of me as a gold digging whore. You probably never defended me when they called me that.â
âI gave you all this stuff because I didnât want you to leave!â
âIt was never about the fucking money! And guess what? You lost me anyway!â You marched to the bedroom, Fernando hot on your heels.
âDonât. Donât leave.â He said, following you. âI did everything for you to never leave!â
âEverything but loving me! I donât fucking care!â You unlatched your necklace, putting it on the table, âI donât care about your money and the jewelry and the clothes and the bags!â You put down your watch and earrings too. Everything he had given you not because he wanted you or loved you, but because he thought they were the price to pay to keep you around.
âFuck, I love you!â You shouted, feeling desperate and lost, âAnd all you see me as is something you paid for. A toy you can parade around and look pretty in your arm! You donât even love me, Fernando. I could write a list about everything I love about you, and none of it would be your stupid money!â
In the closet, you picked a bag, and started putting your clothes inside. Then you noticed how most of them were gifts from him. So you put it back, taking only what you had bought yourself. Fernando stood there, helpless as you packed, putting clothes and a few shoes in a couple of baggage. You also took your study material and laptop, which he had gifted you, but you knew youâd refund him.
âStop, no,â Fernando tried to stop you as went into the garage, âI do, I love you.â
âYou donât, Fernando. Youâre not even sure of that.â You shook your head, putting the bags inside the car. The Aston Martin he had given you, âyou have to think. If you really love me as you say, then why do you love me? Because Iâm eye candy you can take to galas? Because Iâm a good fuck? Because I stand there and look pretty when you have to kiss those old menâs asses?â
You didnât give him a second, getting in the car and starting the engine.
âThis is so messed up, oh my god, how could I let myself believe this for two entire years?â You whispered to yourself, accelerating the car and driving off.Â
Through the rear view, you could see Fernando standing there, doing nothing.
You drove and wiped the tears away, breathing in. When you moved in with Fernando, you hadnât been able to get out of the lease of your flat because you still had a few months on your renting contract. Now it felt like luck that you had a place to stay. Despite getting your doctorate degree, you didnât have any friends in the city, only a few acquaintances here and there.
You got to the apartament, not bothering to unpack your bags, only leaving it on the bedroom floor. You took your study material and with your phone in hand, you sent Fernando via transfer a total 4000 euros, for what you hoped covered the âlaptop and books expensesâ as you wrote in the little note.
Then you laid on the bed, crying yourself to sleep.
You woke up and it was getting dark, the sun setting outside. Checking your phone, there were fourteen missed calls from Fernando, and a notification, showing that he had returned the money to you, with additional 30000 euros and only ânoâ written on the little note. Huffing, you sent the whole amount back and blocked him, so he couldnât transfer any more money to you.
He still had not realized what was wrong, he was still thinking money was your motivation.
The next few days felt like a haze, you were barely getting any sleep, only eating and writing your research, which ultimately reminded you of Fernando, since it was a study on aerodynamics. You couldnât lie to yourself, thinking of how many times you stared at the door, waiting and hoping he would understand and come after you.
-
Fernando had work commitments in England, and going back to Madrid, he ended up giving George and his girlfriend a lift. Fernando was visibly not himself as soon as George saw him.
âHowâs Y/N doing?â George asked, casually. But from the way Fernandoâs face dropped, he could tell something was wrong, âtrouble with the missus?â He joked, tried to lighten the mood.
âShe- uh, she left.â Fernando muttered.
âWhat do you mean, she left?â Carmen joined the conversation, âSheâs traveling?â
âNo- no- I guess we broke up.â
âYou guess?!â Georgeâs voice went a little high pitched out of nervousness.
âFernando, what happened?â Carmen tried to understand.Â
Despite not being exactly best friends, you and her were pretty close, always spending time together whenever both of you were on race weekends. The fact that youâre both engaged academics was also a common topic between you.
âYou know about the rumors, right?â Fernando started, hesitating.
âWhat rumors?â George paused.
âThat sheâs only with me for the money,â Fernando muttered.
âAll girlfriends of drivers are accused of that at some point, whatâs new?â George pushed.
âI might have implied that I agree with that.â
âOh, my god,â Carmen covered her mouth, absolutely shocked, âWhat?â
âFernando, respectfully- Are you fucking insane?!â George exclaimed, jaw slack, âshe looks at you all lovey-dovey, like- like- youâre the only person in the entire earth and you think sheâs with you for the money?â
âShe would never be like that! Sheâs so smart and kind,â Carmen added.
âI know- I just- I donât know! Maybe I let the rumors get to my head!â he ran both hands over his face, exasperated, âAnd she always lets me pay, and she always takes the presents, I donât know!â
Then, Fernando explained about how you tried to pay for dinner, and you refused his gift, he told them about the argument and how you wanted to set boundaries about money and gifts.
âShe was trying to prove to you that sheâs not a freeloader. She was trying to show that the money didnât matter, and what did you do? You pushed more money on her!â George practically spat the words in Fernandoâs face.
âEres muy estĂșpido, Fernando. Te lo digo como tu amiga.â Carmen muttered.
âI donât know what she said but I heard the word stupid, and I agree.â George backed her up, âGo talk to her, apologize and fix it.â
âThat is,â Carmen interrupted, face serious, âIf you really love her. Otherwise, better let her go find someone who can really love her, itâs what she deserves. Love and happiness.â
Fernando swallowed, his chest constricting with the mere thought of you moving on, of someone else having you in their arms.
Getting back home without you there felt like a thick fog day, cold and empty and he missed you, he missed his sun. He missed you jumping into his arms as soon as he opened the door. He missed the smell of the candles you always lit while studying. He even missed the little mess of textbooks, colorful highlighters and notes scattered around.
Home didnât feel like home without you.
In the middle of the living room, there were big cardboard boxes, as he opened, he noticed they were full of clothes, shoes and bags he had gifted you throughout your relationship. In a smaller box, all the jewelry he had given you, even anniversary gifts. Even the beauty products he had given you like perfumes, makeup products, and face creams.
You had returned every single thing.
And on the coffee table, your keys to the house and the keys of your Aston Martin DB12.
It seemed like you had returned everything that could tie you to him, everything that made him wrongly call you a gold digger. And it felt painfully like a goodbye.
-
While mixing your homemade coffee, your eyes flicked to the door, then to your phone on the table, facing up. Despite the searing pain in your chest, and the sorrowful hole in your heart, maybe it was time to start to move on. It had been more than a week, if he wanted to come back to you, he wouldâve come by now.
You got ready to meet with your advisor, and she brought up a topic that had been common now, about you taking a position as a professor for a couple of Engineering subjects. She said itâd be good for you to work in your area while on the last few months before getting your doctorate degree. You had mostly denied the other times she offered the position, because you wanted more time with Fernando, because you wanted the freedom to fly around the world following him to his races.
Now- now you had more bills to pay and no boyfriend to follow. You also had more free time, a broken heart and a vacant mind.Â
âIâm considering the position. I believe it could do me good right now.â You said to her, thoughtful, âcan I confirm with you tomorrow?â
After going through the meeting and getting a review on your thesis, you went back to your flat, taking a long shower. You had just dressed in pajamas when the doorbell rang. With long strides, you were faced with Carmen, and not Fernando as you expected.
âFrom your face I take it he hasnât spoken to you, yes?â Carmen muttered, seeing the visible disappointment in your face.
âIâm sorry, please come in,â you opened the door wider, forcing a smile. Carmen had a couple of bags that she set on a nearby table.
âHe told us what happened, Iâm so sorry,â Carmen hugged you and you immediately started crying, since you had no one to talk about the past few days, âI brought chocolates and wine, so we can talk.â
Over chocolates and a bottle of Merlot, you told her everything, starting at the deuxmoi rumor. She looked horrified when you said word for word what had transpired the last time you spoke with him.
âI just donât understand why he didnât come talk to you yet,â Carmen added, at some point.
âBecause he wonât, at all.â You say with your voice shaky from crying so much the past hour.
âDonât say that. He loves you.â Carmen said.
âIâm not entirely sure about that,â you shrugged, pretending it didnât hurt as much as it did, âHeâll find another one, someone who can enjoy his money since it seems like itâs all that matters to him.â
Carmen didnât say anything to that and you knew she couldnât argue with the facts. Later, George dropped by to get her, going up to your flat so he could hug you quickly and mutter âIâm sorryâ.
With a heavy heart, you slowly rebuild a healthy routine again, doing grocery shopping, cooking meals, going to the gym, studying and everything.
One day, you went back home after going on a shopping spree, and as you got into the hall, Fernando was there, standing in your hall, waiting by the door. You stopped, almost losing the timing to leave the elevator. When you walked closer, he noticed you. Meeting his eyes was different this time, uncertain and a little distant.
âWhat do you want?â You asked, you hoped your voice would come out harsh, but it only sounded defeated.
âCan we talk?â He asked, and you nodded, opening the door and letting him in.
There was a moment of awkward silence as you put the shopping bags down. After doing that, you crossed your arms and stood against a side table, waiting quietly.
âIâm sorry. Iâm really sorry, for not fully believing your love, I guess I was so focused in protecting myself, that I ended up hurting you, and it was never my intention,â Fernando stood just two steps away from you, his eyes holding such pain and fear, that it made you crumble, he didnât look like heâd been sleeping well, âI love you, I really do. For who you are and nothing else.â
You wanted to give in so bad, you wanted to run into his arms and never let go, but you also didnât want to suffer again.
âHow do you know? You never knew that for two years, how would you know it now?â You shook your head, tears starting to fill your eyes again.
âBecause it is hard being without you,â he said, like he was trying to find the right words, âI canât sleep without you. My life is miserable without you around.â
You only nodded, covering your lips with a hand. You wanted to tell him that you had not gotten proper sleep without him, that your life feels empty, that not knowing about him everyday was painful. But you needed more. You needed something you could hold onto, and maybe, just maybe take another chance at the two of you.
âI- I made a list. Like you said,â his voice failed, and you noticed his hand was shaking a little as he held the paper, âI love you. I love coming home to you every time and feel our house so lived in. I love how you always hug me first thing after Iâm back home. I love the silly texts you send me randomly throughout the day talking about your day. I love the selfies with your tongue out too,â that made you two chuckle, and the movement made your tears fall, so you wiped them, staring at him intently, âI love that youâre always the smartest person in any room weâre in. I love that youâre humble, never showing off or being a smartass. I love how cheeky and witty you are. I love that you talk in your sleep. I love that scar in your knee, because it shows you were always a little naughty, even as a kid. I love that thereâs always fresh flowers at home. I love that you love kids. I love that you get along well with my family. I love that you-â
He didnât finish, as you closed the distance and launched yourself at him, hugging him tight. Fernando held you close, pressing you into him, inhaling your perfume, feeling like he was at home again.
âIâm so sorry, princesa. So so sorry. I missed you so much,â he whispered against your cheek, kissing it softly.
âI missed you too, Nandoâ you said, eyes closed and allowing yourself to just feel him again, âI love you so much.â
You let go, holding his face with both hands, looking into his eyes before kissing him softly. He, on the other hand, held the back of your neck firmly, licking your mouth open, until he had tasted your mouth, leaving you breathless.
âCome back home with me, princesa.â
At that, you took a step back.
âI- I canât, Nando. I got a new job at the university.â
âWhat?â
âI thought you werenât coming back to me,â you muttered, and your words made him wince, âI needed something to hold on to.â
âIâm sorry, Iâm so sorryâ he ran a hand over his face, looking embarrassed for taking so long to come after you.
âI believe we should- we should take a step back, rethink a bit about our dynamic,â you told him, hesitant of his reaction.
âAre you unsure about us?â He asked, visibly worried.
âNo, no- I love you- I do-â You started, taking his hand, holding it firmly against yours, âI just think we should rewind a bit. Have my own place and pay my own bills, I just donât want to feel like that again, I need to regain my dignity in this.â
He kept quiet, because he knew deep down you were right. He felt awful about all the misunderstandings, but he knew you probably felt much, much worse. He should just get on his knees and be thankful you still loved him and still wanted him. Heâd take all your conditions to get back with him.
And deep down both of you knew it was for the best. Moving out and living alone, working and seeing him occasionally as a boyfriend.Â
Holding your face, he kissed you, leaving little pecks on your lips, your cheeks, your chin, your forehead. You closed your eyes, letting him kiss you, and he muttered how much loved you and how much he missed you, kissing down the side of your neck. He walked you inside and let him, feeling his hands quickly peeling your clothes off, leaving a trail of clothes from the living room to your bedroom.
You parted so you could undress him, pulling at his jacket and the t-shirt.
âI love you, I love you so much,â he mumbled into a kiss, laying you down in bed.
You laid on the bed and he hugged him, making space for him between your legs. He held you, touching your nose with his gently.
âI missed you, princesa,â he kissed your cheek, âI promise Iâll do better from now on.â
âI know you will, baby.â You kissed him again, running your hand down his back, âmake love to me now.â
He filled you up at once, and you groaned into his mouth, scratching your nails down his back as you cunt welcomed him. As he fucked into you, slowly at first then picking up pace, he muttered how much he loved you and how sorry he was, over and over.
As you cuddled after, quietly enjoying each otherâs company.Â
âWhat do we do about all your gifts?â
âGive them away,â you shrugged.
âCan I convince you to take it back?â
âNot if you still want me in your life,â you muttered. He nodded, placing a gentle kiss on your shoulder.
âYou know how I know I love you?â Fernando asked, drawing invisible patterns on your back, âthereâs an engagement ring in the third drawer of my bedside table.â
You hesitated for a second, but he knew you well. Better than anyone else.
âI know what you said, I just wanted to let you know. I bought it a week after you moved in with me. I know weâre rewinding a little bit for now, but youâll be my wife one day.â
âAnd what if I refuse when you propose?â You smirked, and he pulled your leg over his waist.
âYou wonât.â
Note: UGH IDK GUYS :(
#f1 fanfic#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 fic#f1#formula 1#fernando alonso x you#fernando alonso x reader#fernando alonso#Spotify
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Donât ask how I thought of this⊠itâs trans male reader, no set characterïżœïżœimagine whoever you want. Bottom reader. Use of pussy, and other âfeminineâ words. This lowkey just self indulgent, so the reader isnât fully transitioned đ«¶đŒ donât read if you get dysphoric easily.
You knew your friend did âsex workâ on the side. And the reason why it wasnât true âsex workâ was because it was just him and his girlfriend recording themselves having sex and posting it onto Twitter.
It was just a kink for them, really, he never said anything about getting paid for it. But you remember them thinking about putting a paywall to see the full videos.
More power to them, or whatever. When you became roommates with said friend, him and his girlfriend made sure to record any videos when you were gone. Which was great.
It wasnât until the two broke up, amicably actually, she just found out she was a lesbianâyou thought his Twitter porn days were over now he didnât have a partner. Since he didnât like doing solo content
What you didnât think was that heâd ask you to do something with him
âItâs just until I find someone else,â he said, nonchalantly.
âBut it doesnât give you money.â
âOh we did make money off it. Not a lot, but decent money. Julie was gonna keep doing it with me just to keep some money but now sheâs making lesbian content.â
âBut girls! Wasnât it straight porn?â
He shrugged. âItâs not like Iâm straight⊠the viewers wonât care, pussyâs pussy!â He laughed until he saw your face. âOh well if it makes you uncomfortable you donât gotta do it. It is a strange request.â He moved to get up until you grabbed his hand.
âHow much?â
âHuh?â
âHow much do you earn from the videos?â
âDepends. The viewers love oral sex and teasing videos. Those usually get over⊠2kââ
ââIâm in.â
âSeriously?â
âCash is cash. They wonât be seeing my face right?â
âNo. The focus,â he kneeled down close to you, âwill be on down here.â His hand trailed against your crotch. âYou just gotta lay there and be pretty, baby.â
No wonder the girls who ever dated him cried when they broke up. Who would willingly leave someone with a tongue like this?
You had told him there was no way youâd allow him to call you baby girl or anything of the sort which he happily agreed.
âDonât worry. It wonât take long.â
âWouldnât want it to.â You muttered, feeling a bit embarrassed to be nude from the waist down in front of your friend. He smirked slightly grabbed his phone as he aimed it to film your crotch area.
âDonât say thatânot when youâll end up begging for more.â
You didnât even get to retort that as you felt his finger rub against your clit. Your breathing hitched as he was slow with his touch, teasing your outer lips. Down and up, small strokes, and a light push.
You could see why these videos got viewersâit was driving you crazy each time he teased your clit before pulling away. Your hips began flinching slightly, subconsciously trying to rub your pussy against the palm of his hand.
âDid I say you could do that?â
You instantly froze, dropping your hips right back down on the bed.
âGood boy.â He whispered, making sure the phone didnât pick it up.
What the fuck?! That⊠that was for you alone, right? While you were reeling at how easily he could command you, you cried out feeling two fingers shove itself inside your hole.
His fingers moved fast, spreading you open. You didnât even realize you werenât hiding your whimpers as you tried to calm down from the sudden pleasure. Your legs twitched and spasmed, fingers digging into the bedsheets for some sort of stability.
But then he stopped. Just as fast as he started.
He ended the video and wiped his fingers against your thigh, smirking. âAlright, last video, then thatâs it. You doing alright?â
âHâŠhuhâŠ?â You could only sputter out, reeling in shock.
âStarting video now.â
You glanced down, watching as he pulled out his cock from his sweatpants. Oh, he was.. a bit big. His cock flopped right against your pussy, causing you to shudder in response.
It wasnât that you were a virgin⊠but fuck, you were embarrassingly excited to have his cock so close, just inches away from your hole.
âCondom?â You whispered
He didnât answer, subtly shaking his head. You watched as he started the new video and placed his cock right against your pussy. You couldnât look away, wanting to see if you could really take in something so thick and long.
But he didnât.. push in?
With his free hand gripped tightly on your hips, he began rubbing his cock right against your pussy. You whimpered, biting your lip to try and keep your voice down.
You tried to rub against him but he held you down easily with his hand on your hips. It surprised you that he could do that with just one hand but you werenât complaining.
âYou want it, huh? Just look at it,â he moved the phone down to get a good look at your soaked pussy. âNever seen someone this wet for me. Iâm flattered, baby.â
His hand released your hips and he suddenly stopped moving. You looked over to him, wondering why in godâs name he would stop. But all you saw was a shit eating grin. He wanted you to do the rest.
Any sort of self respect you had was gone. You just wanted to cum already.
You began to move your hips, rubbing your pussy against his cock. A few times, by pure luck, his cock threatened to push insideâbut each time heâd fix his cock. Why would he let you get fucked?!
No matter, you reached down to begin rubbing your clit, needing some form of stimulation when he grabbed your wrist.
âI thought you were a good boy?â He asked, a false sense of sadness in his tone. âCâmon, be good for the camera.â
Once again, he made sure only you heard that. Whyâd he keep doing? To rile you up? Youâre already close anyway.
But then he stopped� Again?!
âAll done. Thanks again, man.â He patted your tummy and got up, pulling his pants over his cock. You wouldnât deny that you felt your word shatter seeing it being covered by those stupid excuse of pants.
âThatâsâŠ?â
âIâll send you your cut by the end of the week!â
He was leaving? After all that? He was just going to leave without fucking you? You quickly sat up on the bed and grabbed his arm, stopping him from leaving. He didnât turn over to face you, keeping his gaze on his phone.
âWait⊠thatâs it..? N..nothing else?â You whispered breathlessly, needing release, quickly. And you didnât want to rely on some plastic dildo when there was a real thing just a few inches away.
âYeah. I just needed two videos for this month. Why?â
âI⊠IâŠâ
âBegging for me?â He asked, cheekily, looking up to finally look at you. âCâmon, use your words. What do you want?â
âYou know what I want.â
âDo I? Because if you donât say it, Iâll do what I want with you.â
It didnât take long for him to make you cum. As soon as his cock entered your pussy, you came. And then he really did what he wanted with you. You were too far gone to really think as it happened, but you were sure he took many pictures after, enjoying the sight of your cream filled pussy.
You certainly helped him again, and a few times after thatâŠ
Though⊠youâre starting to wonderâŠ
You canât find his and Julieâs twitter accountâŠ
And when you, embarrassingly, asked Julieâ
She said they deleted the account when they broke up
Ooh. Spooky lol, what can I say? I love manipulative menâŠ
Tag list: @flurrina @chill-guy-but-cooler @mello-life69 @remdayz @kiiyoooo @ofclyde @iwishtobeacrow @smellwell @tomoeroi @tehyunnie @love-kha1 @star-3214 @rhetorical-conscience
#bottom male reader#x male reader#uke male reader#oc x reader#smut drabble#mlm ns/fw#smut ideas#trans nsft#trans mlm#mlm nsft#ftm mlm
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Skully J. Graves and a personal reflection about what respect should be really about:
(And also a not-so-small slightly anthropological analysis about the importance of the work of cultural promotors)
This person was here long before I came to NRC...
A graduate of hundreds of years ago.
Before, Halloween was a minor event, but now it's known all over...
Hes said to have laid the foundation for today's Halloween
His name is Scully J. Graves.
Known as... "King of Halloween"!
(Translated by: @MostroLoungeVIP on twitter - X)
I was wrong. Since the very beginning when i thought Skully was neurodivergent, and also when i wrote about a possible traumatic event. Nothing of it was depicted in the event story and even if my expectations were very high, i am not disappointed. I would like to share my thoughts with you:
Hundreds of years ago, before all of us were born, there was this person known as Skully J. Graves. A young man with a unique perspective, one that no one knew where it was originated.
But a valid perspective nonetheless.
You see, sometimes we don't really know why a person thinks and acts in certain ways. We don't know why people do what they do.
This is what happens with Skully. The truth is that we don't know what happened to him or where his opinions came from. Certainly we can make theories and imagine everything we want. Was it that he was raised in a secluded and conservative enviroment? Was he neurodivergent? Did he lost someone by his own hand on Halloween's day?
Every point of view is valid and we don't really need to know the whole truth to acknowledge how valid his feelings are. Personally, I didn't understand him very well at first and that's why i wanted to justify his actions so badly. Skully was feeling alone, left out and rejected for his different opinion, and my only question was "Where this opinion originated from?" instead of "How can I understand what he stands for?" and ultimately, of course, accept him as he is.
I realized I was trying to make him fit into the reasons I would use to explain myself if I had that opinion.
And Skully himself has (had) a similar conflict. To his eyes, things had certain purpose and that purpose had to remain unchanged. Halloween was about fear, thinking about oneself's actions in silence. There was a post here on tumblr that explained how his idea of a perfect Halloween coincided with different festivities.
But all this was not about Skully only. It was also about every single NRC student that couldn't respect Skully's opinion. About a bunch of people that the first question they asked themselves was "What is wrong with him?"
The same question i was asking myself before, trying to find a source for his "quirkiness" as if there had to be an explanation for his different opinions. Even the act of calling him "quirky" was a mistake itself because i labeled as such based on my own judgment.
This was a story about a kid that learned to see beyond his own judgment and teached others to do the same. Skully teached me a valuable lesson that will be useful to me for the rest of my life. I learned how easy it is to dismiss others even if I think I'm being respectful.
Respect should be about understanding, not about justifying.
Otherwise, I'm just being condescending.
And that's the reason why I was not disappointed in the end, even if i was waiting for things to end differently.
...
When I saw Skully's portrait in the end, I noticed his glasses were missing. I read that they fell after Sebek and him fought. Skully himself was upset about the tainted glasses broke, as anyone would be when their opinions are being judged. But we were able to see his eyes and he was able to see beyond his nose. I mean, it was the moment he snapped, but also what I think it is a very subtle metaphor on changing oneself's point of view.
And this was the Skully that was known years later, hundreds of years later. When there was nothing left of him to remember but the fact that he was the one responsible for making Halloween a world-wide known celebration.
Yes, a celebration.
Another valuable lesson this event taught me, was how crucial are those people with different points of view, historically and culturally speaking. Skully's beliefs were different, yes, but he was also extremely passionate. And that passion was what impulsed him to dedicate his life entirely to promote Halloween culture everywhere he went.
He traveled and learned and shared and ultimately popularized Halloween. If he hadn't, Halloween would be a forgotten celebration, like many others. This happens even in real life. Different cultures, small cultures often struggle as the time passes to keep their traditions alive because there is no one there to pass the knowledge to the next generations. There is no one to promote them outside of the small town where they were originated.
In Twisted Wonderland, is safe to assume Halloween Town was the origin of Halloween. And it was a small town. So small, even the name Jack Skellington dissolved in the modern world.
But Skully's name remained, and was even known as "King of Halloween"! And even if his ideas were a bit (a lot) different from modernity, you can't deny the impact he had on the popularization of Halloween.
Twst managed to explain a very complex historical process that involves not only cultural promotion, but also appropriation. As Halloween is celebrated in many many forms depending on the time and place. A lively halloween or a quiet halloween or a Samahin, they're all valid and unique! And they were all possible thanks to the work of Skully J. Graves, as well as the work of Jack Skellington before him, and many others before and after them both.
It is heritage, cultural heritage.
And seeing this event from that perspective, it is clear the amount of respect we owe to historical figures. Even if their thoughts seem a bit...archaic (or barbaric!!! as Jamil refered).
Revolutionary ideas in the past are often considered normal and "the obvious" in the present, as well as many "barbarics" (yes, Jamil, i'm looking at you) acts in the past are now considered well...just that.
And the reason why modernity is able to see some points of view as archaic /obvious is because those were thoughts that evolved by being constantly analyzed, criticized, modified and/or teached to newer generations.
So, yeah, thank you Skully J. Graves.
There was something breathtaking about his portrait: A young man with a unique perspective, one that no one knew where it was originated. But one that impulsed him to preserve and spread a celebration...
...hundreds of years ago, before all of us were born.
#this took me longer than it should've#Definitely this is my favorite twst character#And this is why#skully j. graves#twisted wonderland#twst#skully j graves#skullyjgraves#disney twisted wonderland#twst skully#disney twst
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How do you rank the prosecutors on order of homophobia
forgot about this in my drafts for literally months oops. Anyway. Finished now!!!!
So I made this post a while ago that has some of the prosecutors and antagonists, but if you want a ranking of EVERY prosecutor (not including DGS bc i haven't finished yet) huzzah!!
Simon Blackquill: Not actually homophobic but he gets points docked for siccing Taka (known homophobe) at Klavier (known bisexual) for stealing his pretzels from the office pantry that one time. 3/10
Blaise Debeste: I think he's gay but he made me look at that ugly ass beard for far too long and I consider that disrespectful. out of principle? 8/10
Sebastian Debeste: Just look at him. 0/10
Miles Edgeworth: Bratworth was simultaneously gay, homophobic, and a misogynist, and eventually develops into a man who is only like 1.5 of those things. he's getting better. 5/10
Byrne Faraday: I don't really think he cares much about gay people he's busy being a single father and stealing shit. For the apathy? 2/10
Klavier Gavin: He's extremely gay and does a lot of work for the gay community but making Ema Skye deal with him is explicitly lesbophobic so 4/10
Godot: He has a lovely wife but whatever he was doing with Ron DeLite was probably not osha-compliant. I don't know what that means for his sexuality or stance on gay people and neither does he. ?/10
Ga'ran: I think she has a lot of other problems she should deal with first but considered she's bigoted to defense attorneys I don't think her being homophobic would be that out of pocket. Not sure I want to find out. 7/10
Neil Marshall: Have you ever been a gay bar? This guy would do NUMBERS. Also, real cowboys support gay rights. 0/10
Gaspen Payne: Being homophobic is actually why he got fired by the prosecutor's office and Winston is really fucking embarrassed about it. 10/10
Winston Payne: You'd think he'd be homophobic but you can't work for the Japanifornia Prosecutor's Office and hate gay people or you would actually go insane. He's like that one suburban guy who uses terms from the 60s but has the spirit. However, his ally lapel pin is really ugly so 3/10
Jaques Portman: He was calling Edgeworth slurs even before realizing he was gay. 9/10
Lana Skye: Dated Mia in college but refused to explain that to Ema because she has a lot of internalized homophobia and other weird issues of self. Repressed yuri personified. 1/10
Nahyuta Sahdmadhi: He supports gay people but gets all his talking points from the internet so even though he's supportive he's also incredibly fucking annoying about it and no one wants to invite him to brunch because of it. Stop using twitter for fact-checking you jackass. 2/10
Franziska Von Karma: Despite the fact that her lesbianism is so strong it borders on misandry, I think she has a lot of internalized homophobia so she spends the first 25 years of her life being a judgmental little shit. She'll get better dw about it. I believe she can bring that number down with time. 6/10
Manfred Von Karma: I think when he finds out Edgeworth is gay he starts going to gay bars and picking up dudes just to show Edgeworth he has way more rizz than him. Considering how people in my notes have told me on numerous occasions how much they want him carnally, I think he could actually pull it off. In that respect I think he's done a lot for the gay community. It ends up cancelling out somewhat because I think he'd be kind of an ass about it. 4/10
#ace attorney#simon blackquill#blaise debeste#sebastian debeste#franziska von karma#manfred von karma#nahyuta sadhmadhi#godot#garan#lana skye#winston payne#gaspen payne#neil marshall#miles edgeworth#byrne faraday#klavier gavin#jaques portsman#ask#mod vex#headcanons
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this started as a twitter post but it got way too long
i feel. INSANE. ABOUT FIDDLESTAN YOU GUYS. iâll admit i didnât get it at first, like the original concept seems kinda bonkers, they never interact! what a silly rarepair! BUT NO. I SAW A SINGLE PIECE OF FANART AND IT WAS OVER FOR ME. IM HOOKED. im sorry i need to talk about them
my favorite set-up for fiddlestan, and the one i see most people going with, is the idea that fiddleford comes back to fordâs house after fordâs already been sucked through the portal, so he finds stan instead. and thats like such perfect/devastating (depending on how you look at it) timing because their wounds from ford are both so raw.
i feel like this is gonna get long so. gay rambling under the cut
on the one hand, they get from each other what they never got from ford. or at least, what they lost from ford. fiddleford wants love, he wants his unwavering devotion to ford to be reciprocated. and stan, being such a deeply lonely person, can give him that! what he wants is companionship. he wants a friend, like what he had in his brother. he wants forgiveness. and god, fiddleford is one of the kindest, most forgiving characters in the show. if anyone will see where stan is coming from, if anyone can extend forgiveness and understanding where ford fell flat, itâs fiddleford.
and while this exemplifies just how deeply they would need each other in this scenario, when you think about how tightly they both clung to ford, there presents a very real possibility that one or both of them would feel like fordâs replacement.
stan is fordâs twin. people have played with the idea that fiddleford would see a lot ford in stan, even though they may not be very similar in demeanor. they look the same. and deep down, they do have similarities. alex hirsch said in a dvd commentary that there is more of ford in stan than he even realizes, and fiddleford would probably see that. not to mention just how deeply he would miss him.
and when stan has always felt like a worse version of ford, you can imagine he might feel like a stand-in, especially as him and fiddleford get closer. fiddleford, whether he means to or not, would definitely see his best friend in stan. he has his face for godâs sake!! and would stan just accept it? would he be upset to be seen in this light, to act as a replacement, or would he accept that heâll always be second to ford? either way is just. DEVASTATING. for fiddleford to unintentionally confirm all of stanâs deepest fears and insecuritiesâŠ
and then thereâs what fiddleford is to stan. while i donât think fiddleford would feel as deeply a replacement as stan does, he IS a big fucking nerd. and stan probably begged him for help getting ford back when he found out that fiddleford is not only a scientist, but worked on the portal in the first place. and he of course wants ford back too, but it wouldnât surprise me if fiddleford ends up feeling like stan only keeps him around for that purpose and that purpose alone. to learn more about ford, to live vicariously through him as fordâs best friend. because stan is desperate to know more about him, to satiate this need, this wound of missing his brother for over a decade.
god and all the little things too⊠fiddleford being riddled with anxiety and stan being able to ground him, to knock some much-needed sense into him the next time he wants to pick up that memory gun. stan struggling to take care of himself, to see his own self worth, and fiddleford being there to make sure he eats enough food, reminds him to shower, helps wash or cut his unkempt hair. falling asleep holding each other, because they need that comfort, that warmth, that heartbeat, to feel okay enough to rest.
ugh you could do sooo much with these bitches it drives me up the wall. i feel so unwell just thinking about them. i could yap even more but iâll keep that for another post
#they make me want to bash my head into a wall#thanks for reading i have so much to say about them#also iâm shipping fiddlestan here but none of this is meant to suggest stancest implications ew#the point is just that fidds and ford fulfill similar emotional needs for stan yk#gravity falls#fiddleford mcgucket#stanley pines#stan pines#fiddlestan#fiddleford x stanley#stanley x fiddleford#rambling#so much rambling#stanford pines
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I'm not scared! Colby Brock x MotoGPDriver! Reader Part 2
Plot: You made a tweet about Sam and Colby and were in a podcast and they brought up Sam and Colby where you talked about the paranormal and how it doesn't really scare you because you drive motorcycles at over 200mph.
"Sam?" you ask seeing the blonde man behind you.
"Hey!" he exclaims coming forward and pulling you into a hug. You stood there in shock that you were actually meeting these boys and that they were coming to watch you race.
"Hey!" Another voice says from behind Sam, he was taller with dark hair and you knew it was Colby.
"Hey, Colby?" you ask looking over him and he nods.
"Can we post some pictures off us all together?" Sam asks seeing as you guys were all at the airport.
"Yeah sure! I'll drive you guys to the hotel then yeah?" you ask looking over them. You all take a selfie, you stood in the middle of the two of them with a big smile on your face. After taking some more photos you take a rucksack from what was at Sam's feet and he tried to protest but upon seeing how easily you picked up the heavy equipment filled back he let you help out.
"Are you guys doing any filming while you are here, or is this strictly vacationing?" you ask looking over at them while you all clamber into the lift.
"We haven't planned on doing any big filming, just TikTok's at the race and stuff! We want to come back here though as there's so many more places..." Colbly answers glancing over at you.
"Okay, well let's get you guys set up in the hotel and then my treat and I'll take you both out for food" you grin and they both nod eagerly.
You take them to the carpark and they look around trying to find out which car is yours.
As you start to walk all the way towards the back Colby starts to complain as to why you'd park so far away when there's so many available spaces towards the front.
When they walk up to your New Model Ferrari, your question is answered.
"Holy shit, that's a nice car!" Sam exclaims looking over it, not evening daring to touch it. You whip the key out your pocket opening the boot where you strategically place their bags. One of them would have to have a bag or two in the second back seat because of the sport aspect to the car.
"I really should have brought the Audi" you sigh, looking at the bags in the back before you slowly close the boot. Sam and Colby sharing a look with each other.
"I call Shot Gun!" Sam cries going to the front driver's side door.
"You aren't driving my car, Sam!" you giggle knowing he hasn't realized where he's stood.
"Right, yeah I forgot we're in the UK" Sam laughs but see's Colby getting in the passenger side door.
"Snooze you loose buddy!" he exclaims making you laugh.
The drive to the hotel wasn't too long, you guys spoke about anything that came up in conversation. It was all so natural as if you'd known them for years and you felt so comfortable in their presence.
You helped them into their hotel room, while Colby made a little video to put on his Instagram story.
"Hey guys, it's Colby. I'm of course here with Sam and we're here in England again" he shows the camera the outside of the hotel that was in the Hilton on the edge of the Silverstone Race Track. "But we have a very special guest that we are being shown round by today. Y/N Y/L/N!" he says panning the camera to you and showing them you.
"Hey!" you grin before Colby switches the camera back on him and Sam.
"We're going to go live here later, so go comment under my latest twitter post all the questions you guys want to ask and we'll answer any questions you guys have an discuss what is up and coming for the three of us!" he grins before ending it with a little peace out sign.
"That gives us time to discuss over dinner yeah?" Sam asks and you nod.
You guys all head on a train into London to get some food from the city rather than staying around Silverstone.
"So, have you guys thought of any locations you want to investigate?" you ask, knowing there was definitely some in the UK that they hadn't done here in the UK, but you travelled round so much that you were pretty much willing to go anywhere.
"We were thinking of going back to Australia, we did it at the start of the year and we got some really interesting footage while we were there" Sam offers.
"I don't think we've done enough in the UK either, there's some great places in Wales, and Scotland we haven't done too!" Colby suggests, he loved when they visit here, it always had some of the best energy whenever they came here.
"Yeah I feel like you guys don't want to rinse America of its haunted spots, so either of those would be cool! There's so many like haunted places worldwide, I guess it's just an issue of asking permission of whether or not you can get to view it like solo and be able to have the place to yourself!" you admit, understanding why they probably hadn't done the Paris Catacombs or Bangarth Fort in India or Proveglia Island in Italy.
"Well, it's up to you maybe we can ask what the fans think tonight. We have time, I cant imagine Y/N will be free for filming for a while anyway right?" Colby asks, again. He was fully aware of your driving schedule but he knew it was a lot of exhausting travel.
After lots of talking and getting to know them you all went back to the hotel, you set up Colby's phone in their room and started and insta live while you and Sam had the Tweet up that Colby posted earlier in the replies.
"Hey guys!" Colby smiles as he watches fans flood into the chat already starting to ask questions in the chat.
"Okay guys, we'll only be answering questions from the tweet we sent out on the shared account earlier okay?" Sam laughs seeing people asking who you were and what you were doing there.
You were laughing when you saw fans asking if you were Colby's new girlfriend. They were the ones that were obviously Sam and Colby fans and didn't venture into motorsport.
There was others in the live defending you, trying to explain who you were.
"Y/N you wanna introduce yourself?" Sam asks seeing the majority of comments be asking who you were and what you were doing with the boys.
"Okay, so for the Sam and Colby fans I'm a MotoGP driver, so I drive motorbikes around race tracks all over the world, really really quickly! I made a silly drunk tweet saying I wouldn't be scared to collab with these two and here we are!" you grin, as people start flooding the comments.
"Yes, guys she is very fast! We'll be cheering for her at Silverstone!" Sam says looking at the more comments flooding in.
"Okay guys, we are moving onto your twitter questions now. No more answering from here!"
"Okay the first one I found is, is Y/N good at what she does?" Sam says before raising and eyebrow.
"Well, Sam and Colby haven't watched me yet. But you can see all of my races of YouTube!" you smile politely.
"She's a better driver than the both of us, I'll give her that!" Colby exclaims looking at him phone seeing the emoji spam.
"Where are you thinking of investigating next and will it be with Y/N?" you read out, scrolling through the twitter thread trying to find good ones.
"Next one coming out wont be Y/N because we haven't even filmed with her yet, and I think we might be filming with one other person before her depending on schedules. so maybe Y/N can be a hell week guest if the timings right? But... again not sure if we'll want to do something with her before then, incase that's too much for her to ...yano handle!" Colby explains while smirking as you turn to hit him in shock.
"I would be fine on hell week! I'll smash anything, any challenge let me rephrase that you give me and I will do it!" you grin.
"Mmmmm, we'll see!" Sam teases.
"I mean, while we are here in the UK, would you have time to do something. We've got some contacts we could whip something up?" Colby asks reading the instagram chat seeing that everyone's wondering why you aren't doing anything soon as you don't have to be in Austria until August the 16th.
"I mean, I'm down..." you grin, wondering where they could possibly take you.
"Okay, guys you heard Y/N if we can get something sorted we may be filming in the next few days after the race!" Sam exclaims happier.
Once you'd sifted through most of the questions about who you were and why you were with the boys you got onto the more random questions that were just sort of get to know you.
"When do you prefer to work out, morning or evening?" Sam asks, looking from Colby to you.
"I'm definitely an evening guy, I tend to be more proactive around that time and I've never been one to wake up early with a lot of motivation for the day" Colby explains before Sam nods and agrees that he prefers the evening.
"As and athlete I have a set plan and that means I work out in both the morning and the evenings but I honestly prefer the morning because it feels to me like I've got it out the way!" you giggle and Colby looks over at you shocked.
"You work out twice a day?" he asks with a raised brow.
"Yeah, I have to have really good core strength for on the bike" you nod.
"What's your go-to comfort food?" you ask looking between them while they have a thoughtful expression.
"Mmmm probably like my mum's cooking something like her mashed potato or her lasagna" Colby offers when thinking about it for a little bit.
"Oh! I didn't even think of my parents cooking, I went for more of a guilty pleasure and went for Taco Bell Burrito!" Sam nods and then they turn to you.
"Well, comfort food for me has to be healthy so I actually learnt from good friend of mine and F1 driver Lando Norris about this chicken and pineapple wrap that he has and once i tried it ... just stuck in my head 24/7 on a loop" you laugh, before finding a picture of you and Lando eating them.
"Chicken and Pineapple?" Sam asks with a frown on his face and you just chuckle.
"Don't knock it until you try it!" you exclaim.
"Suppose you enjoy pineapple on pizza too!" Colby jokes.
"On cheat day i do yes!" you grin.
You guys answer a few more questions before you agree that you need to go to bed as it's media day tomorrow and you'll have to be up early.
Taglist:
@richardsamboramylove55
#sam and colby x reader#sam and colby#sam and colby imagine#sam golbach#colby brock imagine#colby brock#colby x reader#colby brock x reader#sam golbach x reader#motogp#lando norris#sam and colby fluff#sam and colby fanfiction#25x25#xplr#paranormal investigation
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some details that i loved in la chimera (spoiler heavy) :
i posted this on twitter as well but i wanted to include it here too. i love this little moment here where italia rests her head on arthur's shoulder and for a brief moment, he's anchored to the present by that touch, but him being the orpheus that he is, just HAD to turn back and find himself gravitating towards the tombs, the past and his eurydice.
the fact that italia's name is literally italy in italian and by the end of the movie she creates a community of her own where she's looking out for those that are outcasted by society, in an abandoned train station named riparbella which literally means "to start again".
arthur's eye always being blocked by shadow throughout the movie until he sees the light at the very end
according to wiki, the goddess the statue is based on is cybele, goddess of nature, animals, wild places and represents the "creative and destructive force of nature." her phrygian name matar (mother) alludes to the fact that she was a "mediator between the boundaries of the known and unknown, the civilized and the wild, the worlds of the living and the dead." i love that this goddess' presence in the movie symbolizes arthur traversing between the living and the dead worlds and getting closer to beniamina. i love that by the end of the movie, the statue itself becomes unknown to human eyes and returns to the wild, far away from civilization, which is arguably the same fate that arthur meets as he dies.
the red string that's following arthur around is very reminiscent of the red string ariadne gives theseus to find his way through the maze. it's beautiful how this red string seems to appear only in his dreams at first but slowly starts crossing the boundaries of dreams and reality as the movie goes on until he is able to tug at it by the end and cross over into beniamina's world.
arthur, at the beginning of the movie, says "so it's you. my last woman's face." how cool is it that beniamina's face resembles cybele's?
arthur goes back to flora's house after being injured and her daughter finds him in the bathroom. spooked, she says "i thought it was a ghost" which arthur might as well be considering how he's essentially been a walking corpse this entire movie.
also a special shout out from the bottom of my heart to the sped up sequences, didn't even realize how badly i needed them until i saw them. the chaos in these sequences is everything to me. this is REAL cinema!
in general, one of the themes that i've come to love about this movie is how objects can have different meanings to everyone. an object like the bell arthur found was just "a thing that rings" whereas italia interprets it as a gift until she comes to realize it's been excavated from a grave. the statue was part of a shrine back when it was made, but to the tombaroli and the sellers, this is only a means to make more money. the train station started off as a place that symbolizes movement of people from the city to the countryside but has now become a home for the outcasts of society. the apotropaic phallus would've have warded off evil and bad luck back in the day, but is now used as a means of escape from the law. a simple red string is the literal lifeline for arthur as he tries to find his way back to his lover.
also want to give another shout out to the inclusion of the italian troubadours (our greek chorus) who beautifully spell out the tragedy of our protagonist and his gang.
speaking of music, i really liked this particular song italia was singing as she was practicing. the lyrics go "i'd like to explain to you, o god/ where my suffering lies/ but fate condemns me to weep/ to weep" and that's exactly when arthur finds her crying son. at least italia finds a way for her suffering to end by the end of the movie. maybe we can say the same about arthur too?
i'll probably add more as i keep rewatching the movie lol and make a thread of this on twitter too (x) thanks for sticking around and let me know what other cool details y'all noticed!
#la chimera#alice rohrwacher#josh o'connor#i clearly still have a LOT of thoughts about this movie#wasn't expecting this brainrot when i first watched it but here we are :))))
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Iâd love to hear your thoughts on the final MHA chapter because the internet seems to be very divided
I waited till MHA officially ended! Long post ahead!! People being divided on the ending makes sense. Different people come to watch shows and read comics for very different reasons and with very different expectations for an ending in mind. Especially for a series like MHA which is a battle manga that seeks to subvert shonen genre tropes.
I think part of the reason why people are so divided on it right now is because of leak culture and reaction culture. People have to remember that comic books and manga are a storytelling medium. The author actually thinks about the arrangement of the panels, whatâs in the panels, and how the combination of these things can form a narrative. Reading it from twitter thread/discords from people in a rush to translate to get the information to you as fast as possible is NOT the intended way to experience the story.
The âleak formatâ kind of encourages people to put too much focus on certain panels and roughly translated text that would otherwise feel very different when you are reading the story through the intended medium, and when you pair that with the highly reactive way people âconsume contentâ nowadays, the result is a snowball of very volatile emotions being thrown around without a moment for people to breathe, think, and wonder for themselves âWhy did the author write it like this? Was there something I missed? How does this re-contextualize story? Have I actually missed the point this whole time?â etc.
That being said, I sort of have a philosophical way of approaching MHA?? When I got back to it again, I was hyper-critical of it especially because I just came back from reading One Piece (and the writing styles and messages are VERY different). I slowly learned to judge the writing for what it is rather than keep comparing it to other series and I learned it was more enjoyable to experience the story like that.
The ending is a very hard pill to swallow for a lot of people which is understandable, but it didnât come out of nowhere. I mean, just look at the ending lines of "Do Not Be Defeated by Rain", the poem that inspired Dekuâs character:
I am also a stubbornly optimistic person, and my number one rule is never to engage with anything in bad faith. I CHOOSE to see hope through the margins and the final chapter being so open to potential encourages that thinking of mine.
So even though I think there are some things that could be handled better (the villains) and storylines I WISH were explored (OFA vestiges my beloved) thereâs no reason why it couldnât be fixed.
There is this openness to it that leaves so much room for hope and imagination that I canât truly be mad at it.
I might find MHA lacking as an entertainment piece, but I will defend it to the end as an artistic piece.
Horikoshi has said before that he doesnât care if his manga is popular or not, MHA is basically a culmination of the stuff he enjoys, and I KNOW drawing whatever the hell you want despite knowing not everyone will like it takes a lot of guts and itâs what makes MHA so human.
All the traces of him are in there, flaws and everything, so you can endlessly turn it around, flip back and forth and there will be always something new to unpack, learn, and realize and the thought of what could've been will always haunt people (just like Star Wars, a series he also likes kajdbaldnlk)
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Where is this Baby Death AU I'm hearing so much about? I'm dumb and don't know how to do things on the internet, help! XD
Nah, you're a smart cookie! This website is just tough to navigate sometimes.
All you need to do is go to my blog.
From there hit that cool little magnifying glass button.
Then search 'Baby Death AU'
That should pull up everything I've posted for it! (not a whole lot, I'll admit)
But if you don't feel like rummaging through those posts, I'll give you a quick summary:
When Voldemort hits Harry with the killing cure in the forest, the spell backfires (again). Only this time, it creates a life instead of taking one. This leaves the once prophesied enemies with a baby that holds quite a resemblance to the two of them. Confused and curious as to how this accrued, Harry and Voldemort agree to a truce and are now stuck Co-Parenting their 'happy little accident'.
However, what they don't realize is that this sweet buddle of joy is actually Death!
You see, Death wasn't very happy with Voldemort running around making horcruxes, so he seizes the opportunity to take mortal form in hopes of foiling any future plans the 'Dark Lord' may have for immortality.
What follows is a bunch of goofy hijinks as Death, Harry and Voldemort navigate their new life as a ...somewhat functional family.
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Other things to note in this AU(so far):
-Harry is the 'Master of Death' in this AU (though he doesn't know this and still doesn't). Death even tried to call him 'Master', at first, but as a baby, the word proved to be too difficult to get out. This resulted in Harry being referred to as 'Ma' or 'Ma-Ma' (much to everyone's confusion, but hey! it stuck *shrugs*)
-Baby Death was given the name Thomas Sirius Potter. (this was the result of a twitter poll I took to help me pick out a name. personally i find it hilarious and very on brand for how harry would name his kid.)
-Thomas is a Hufflepuff! (also the result of a twitter pole.)
-Nagini is the only one who knows Thomas is Death.
-Voldemort and Bella used to be an item, but he broke it off after Thomas was...'born?'. Now she's constantly scheming up ways to win him back. Sadly for her, they never work.
-Harry and Voldemort do eventually end up 'together' but not until Thomas leaves for his first year at Hogwarts.
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I think that should about cover it...OH! Hold on!
Here are some awesome fics that were written base on the original prompt 'When Voldemort hits Harry with the killing cure in the forest, it creates a life instead of taking one':
The Heir de la Mort by @rowena-rain
Bloody Gorgeous by @laserswordtraining
(be sure to mind the tags!)
--
Okay, now I'm done rambling. Thanks for the ask, and I hope you enjoy this silly little AU!
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Izzy Discourse Masterpost
Hey all, given the amount of awful splintering and wank happening in ofmd fandom rn regarding Izzy's death, including the flat-out immature and unacceptable harassment of David Jenkins and Co, I wanted to just make this one all-encompassing post to address the various grievances and complaints I've seen (almost entirely on Twitter). If I've missed anything, please feel free to add on. I'm putting most of this under a read-more for length.
Please be aware, I say all of this as an Izzy fan. I've loved his character since season 1, and while I was sad to see him go, I completely understand and support David & Co's reasons for concluding his arc, and I think it was done respectfully in a way fitting to his character. So let's break down some of the takes I've seen. I am not referencing specific posts or people here, I just want to address the general themes that I keep seeing about why some people are upset.
Izzy's death served no narrative purpose.
Look, this is one that I'm sure fans will debate for the rest of the hiatus. It's completely within your right to disagree with this writing choice, but Izzy's death did serve a narrative purpose in the story that David Jenkins is telling - and he has spoken to this end in several interviews already. I can only summarize here, and fans may find other perspectives in time as well. What we need to remember is that Our Flag Means Death is, at the end of the day, Ed and Stede's love story. That has been made abundantly, explicitly clear. The show has been fantastic at fleshing out the other supporting characters, but that's what they are - supporting characters. They often have their own subplots but ultimately the narrative seeks to move Ed and Stede's story forward and they are tools to spur Ed and Stede's growth or mirror their struggles. Izzy has been a wonderfully complex, multifaceted character but we must remember that all characters are vessels through which stories are told, lessons are imparted, and metaphors are established. He's not a real person who 'deserves' any particular fate. David said he's always intended for Izzy to die at the end of his arc.
Firstly, Izzy (now canonically, through his own dying words) represents part of Blackbeard. He enabled and encouraged Ed's darker side, they were mutually toxic forces to each other. Ed is attempting to cope with and move on from this phase of his life, and like Stede in season 1, set out a free man, unshackled by expectations and loose ends of those he's hurt and been hurt by (though we realize this is an ongoing process that takes time). This lovely gifset sums it up nicely, with Izzy being the Mary parallel, and making s2 mirror s1. Blackbeard is both Ed and Izzy; Ed cannot be free of Blackbeard while Izzy is in his life, and when Izzy is gone he will never truly be Blackbeard again. They are each other's rotting leg!! Yet, they love each other - and David has said that for Ed, this has developed into a mentor and father relationship, and where Ed has previously despised his father figures (his actual father, Hornigold) he does not want to lose Izzy. This time, Izzy brings out Ed, not Blackbeard - and that's where we get the callback to 'there he is', bringing their impact on each other full circle, freeing Ed, getting approval of sorts that he never had, to be soft, to be loved (and there are parallels to Zheng and Auntie here as well that others have made) from that force that drove him to stay in line all this time. David has said in multiple interviews now that he was going for the idea of the mentor/father figure dying and the hero living on and trying to do justice to them.
From Izzy's side, Izzy cannot be free while Edward remains either (Mary cannot find peace while Stede remains). The scar never truly healed, the leg will always be a reminder. At this point the argument becomes 'yes, but why did he have to die? Why not just sail off with the crew of the Revenge?' David has stated that he feels they've done everything they can with, and for, Izzy; he's come leagues from season 1, he's found community, he's found hope, he's found new parts of himself, and he's made good memories. He's found worth outside of what he can be to others. That's more than most pirates could hope for. Where would his character go from there, when the Golden Age of Piracy he belongs to has burned to the ground? Would he stay around and whittle on the Revenge? If he were a real person, yes, that would be lovely, and he'd deserve all the quiet peaceful happiness in the world. But as I explain several points below, he's not interested in being a captain. He's not up for the hard physical labor of regular crew, and he's extremely overqualified for that besides. He has served his narrative purpose, and symbolically, to enter a new age, everything must go. He's connected to the old age of piracy, to the Republic of Pirates, that is now demolished. To him, fighting for what he believes in, for the family he's found, bringing down an army of British twats in the process, is how he should go. It's a pirate's death, and as Izzy's said, he's a pirate - unlike Blackbeard who's succeeding in breaking away from piracy, Izzy never wanted to stop being a pirate, throughout his arc. To me, that's why Izzy remains trapped in the narrative, trapped in history, whereas Ed and Stede will escape history. They leave piracy, and canon, behind, while Izzy was content to remain a pirate and face a pirate's fate.
Burying him on land, right next to Ed and Stede's beach house, shows that his sacrifice was not in vain - they start this new life together, thanks to Izzy's mentorship, his role in their lives that sometimes for worse, sometimes for better, made their love what it was and made their breakaway possible. The new age is built on the foundations of the old age, and is stronger for it.
As we're well aware by now, David tweeted that there's no version of ofmd without Izzy. Whether that's literal or not, symbolically it's true. Izzy's arc of growth affected everyone on the Revenge. Jim fondly remembered fighting for a time when life meant something on that ship; the crew helped give Izzy new meaning in life, and he helped them in return. When he dies, they mourn and have a funeral; that wouldn't have happened under Blackbeard's watch in episode 2. His life meant something to them. He influenced Ed and Stede immensely, and they will take that with them. As David's said, they're all a family, and Izzy was a part of that family, and his loss unites them and brings them closer to continue to fight for that family they've built. It's a tragic, sudden death of someone they've all grown to care for, and that steels their reserve to keep the torch lit. They literally sail off into the sunset to hunt down Ricky to avenge Izzy; he will always be a part of this show. And, of course, with the brief appearance of seagull Buttons, the door is left open for anything.
If this was The Izzy Show, then sure, we'd be content to see him simply engaged in shenanigans every episode. But the plot, and therefore the characters, need to keep moving forward, and Izzy got his growth and development. He got what he needed for his character to have closure, and he served his symbolic narrative purpose in Ed's (and Stede's) story. You may have your own ideas and perspectives, and that's great - that's what fandom is for. But we cannot say his death was pointless when David Jenkins and the writers clearly had a well-defined motive for pushing the narrative in this direction. I actually think the narrative around Ed and Izzy is the most well-developed in the entire show. I for one am so happy we got such an interesting and complex character, and had the brilliant Con O'Neill to portray him.
Izzy's growth & healing arc was rendered pointless by his death.
As this post so eloquently puts it, it's pretty bleak to have the outlook that taking steps to heal and find meaning in life is worthless if it's later lost. Seeking happiness and self-actualization is worthwhile for its own sake; no one knows what's down the road, and we all die eventually. Find meaning in life now. Would you rather have had Izzy not miss with his bullet in ep2? He was given the chance to experience joy, freedom, and hope for the first time in potentially a long time, and when he died he did so with those happy memories. As mentioned, Izzy's death was decided long beforehand given the narrative, and the point of storytelling is to make you feel emotions. We were given impetus to connect and relate to Izzy's character through his process of healing, so when he did die, we felt it keenly. That's how stories work actually! We felt what Ed felt. It moved us. It's not a bad thing that Izzy's arc made him more likeable to fans before his death. It's not a bad thing to lose a beloved character - guess what, it happens constantly in stories - and it's not bad to grieve over it either, but to say that it made his journey pointless is just not true. People saying that Con must be upset that they snatched his character away from him after getting to develop him so much - again I say, would you rather him have died in ep 2 before he had the chance to grow? Or how about in s1, when the crew tried to mutiny? How'd you feel when Stede killed him in his dream, in the very first scene of the season? I think Con's probably glad for the opportunity to have explored this character so much in season 2. Ask him if he thinks it was pointless.
Killing off Izzy was bad for queer rep/burying your gays/"Izzy was the queer heart of the show"
I'm putting 'bury your gays' on the top shelf so people can't use it when it doesn't actually apply. Most of the main cast of characters in this show are queer, and it's a show about pirates with a good amount of violence. Ergo, chances are a queer character will die in the course of Things Happening In Stories. Izzy didn't die because he was queer, and he wasn't the token queer rep. Please turn your attention to the boatloads (literally) of queer characters that are happy and thriving (how about the LuPete wedding immediately afterwards??). As for Izzy being the "queer heart of the show," this is literally the Ed and Stede show. You know, the two queer leads whose queer love the show revolves around, per David Jenkins himself. I'm glad folks connected with and derived joy from Izzy's growth and especially his performance in Calypso's birthday, but he is not the main character of the show. The queer heart of the show is in fact, the entire show, all of their characters and the community & found family they create aboard the Revenge. Not to mention the fan community as well. Izzy was never carrying the show's representation on his back, and frankly that's an absurdly wild take to have (esp when he spent most of s1 actively working against the main queer relationships in the show, attempting to maintain the oppressive status quo of pirate society).
It was bad and irresponsible to have a suicidal character die
Are we forgetting the entire first half of the season where Ed, who was suicidal, kept trying to passively kill himself because he felt he was an unlovable monster, only to be shown that he is in fact loved unconditionally and it gives him the strength to fight for life and triumph against his own self-doubt? The show has spent quite a lot of effort telling viewers that despite feeling damaged or broken you are worthy of love and that you are loved even if it may be hard to see it when you're in a bad place. That you don't need to be fully healed to deserve love and care, and that love and support will help you along your journey. It's incredibly wild to disregard this major plot point and fundamental message of s2 to try and spin this the opposite way for Izzy's character.
Secondly, where are people getting 'Izzy is suicidal' from? Are we going back all the way to episode 2, when he's at his lowest point and fails at his suicide attempt, only to be figuratively reborn after removing the metaphorical rotten leg? By the time of the finale he's shown to be in a good place, thanks to the arc of healing and growth he's gotten, through the support of the Revenge crew and his 'breakup' with Blackbeard allowing him to find his own way in life, realizing he doesn't need a purpose to have value and enjoying his time on the Revenge and the bonds he's made with Stede and the crew. He is, in the words of Ivan, "the most open and available I've ever seen him" by the finale. To take episode 2 as evidence he's suicidal is to erase his whole season of growth, which is an ironic thing to do in the context of these arguments. There's no canon evidence Izzy Hands was suicidal post-'Fun and Games'.
As for 'irresponsible,' once again I say, David Jenkins is not your therapist, he's not 'Dad,' and has no responsibility to tell his story any other way than he intended to tell it. Please find media that gives you what you want or need, and if the death of a fictional character causes you this much distress please seek help. I mean this kindly but seriously.
Killing off Izzy was ableist/bad for disability rep.
I point once again to the rest of the characters, several of which are disabled in varied ways. There are literally multiple other amputee characters specifically. It's not good storytelling to wholly avoid killing off any character that is disabled/queer/poc/female or [insert marginalized group here], especially when a) it makes sense narratively, and b) there's plenty of representation of these groups in the media in question. The answer isn't making such characters invincible and immortal, it's increasing the number of these characters in shows so it's not devastating when some do die in the course of natural storytelling.
OFMD was my comfort show/safe space show, now it's ruined for me
I am not trying to be insensitive here when I say that's a problem that is yours and nobody else's. David Jenkins created this show with a three-season vision and a story in mind, and he is telling that story to the best of his ability the way he wants to. It's already been said that he and the crew did not anticipate the fandom becoming as large and passionate as it has. The plot of the show was never intended to be 'fan service,' and it's ironic that there were people complaining this season that there's been too many fanservice tropes, up until David and the rest of the writers room made a narrative decision they did not like, then the complaints changed to not coddling the fans enough.
We as viewers can derive joy from this show, it can be a comfort to us, it can be important to us. But it was not designed specifically for that purpose, therefore it cannot fail in that respect. We do not have the right to harass writers for not steering the ship in the direction we want - it's their work of art, and we can choose to either come along for the ride or not. It's rare to see creators actually given the chance to tell their story the way they intend (budget cuts aside), so let him do that. He should not cater to fans, or cave and change the story to appease us. Respect his right to create his art, and remember you have the right to create your own. That's what fanfiction is for - write fix-its to your heart's content, but keep these realms separate. David Jenkins and Co hold zero, and I mean zero, responsibility to you. He could not please everyone no matter what he did, it would be fruitless to try, and it would certainly compromise the quality of the story he set out to tell.
You are absolutely allowed to dislike choices made in any show. Curate your media experience. If this show no longer brings you joy, stop watching. But it was never David's purpose nor responsibility to juggle the mental health of millions of fans. Trying to put that on him will only make him less enthusiastic about interacting with fans or continuing to make this show. This isn't rocket science. You're responsible for yourself, not this guy you call 'Dad' that you've developed a parasocial-therapist relationship with.
Izzy should have become captain of the Revenge.
Really?? Firstly, we did actually get that already in s1. He was tyrannical and the crew mutinied. But even if you think 'well after his character arc he'd be better suited to it,' it goes against the point of this arc. He's found value in not having a distinct role or purpose on the ship, decoupling his worth from the job he's expected to perform. He's found his place amongst the crew, not commanding it. There's no narrative reason to put him in charge when he's expressed no further interest in slotting himself back into a role full of pressure and expectations.
Con O'Neill was only told halfway through filming, it's cruel to just kill off the character he loves so much.
Guys, he's an actor. More than that, an actor with a theater background. I think he's used to characters dying. You don't need to look out for him. Con and David spoke one on one about it at length so they were on the same page, and David even said that Con took it well. I'm sure Con had input, just as other members of the cast have influenced their characters' stories, costumes, backstories, etc. Do you really think David Jenkins hurt Con's feelings or something? The writers (remember, it's not just David, it's a whole team of hard-working people coming up with these ideas) gave Con such a chance to shine this season, really developing Izzy beyond what he was given in s1 and letting Con show off his full acting range. Why are you only focusing on the destination rather than the journey? Sure, Con's probably sad to see Izzy go, but please do not project your distress onto him or try and accuse David & Co of being 'cruel' to their cast. That's really ridiculous. It's constantly evident how close they all are.
More importantly, do you actually, seriously think that Con O'Neill would want fans to harass each other or the writers over his character? The man who preaches being kind above all? There is no better way to make an actor uncomfortable about a show and its fanbase than to start treating fictional characters like they're more important than real people. He would not want you to bully people over Izzy Hands, and it's mind-boggling that some of you have convinced yourself otherwise.
Lastly, I just want to talk about the fact that some people are holding OFMD to absurdly high expectations.
Our Flag Means Death has been a pioneer series for its diverse representation, earnest storytelling, and themes of hope, community, and love. It's fine to discuss aspects of the show with a critical eye, but so much of the discourse has truly felt like folks are trying to find fault in a show that is leagues ahead of the average tv series that we still enjoy. How many fan favorites are killed off all the time? How many plotlines are scrapped, or drawn out without closure, or contradicted the very next season? How many shows are indifferent or actively hostile towards their fanbase? How many have any queer characters, or actually do bury them? The bar's so low, and OFMD has risen above to give us so much. Some are holding the show to astronomical expectations, waiting for it to fall from the pedestal it's been placed on. If something you don't like happens in the show, it's not suddenly ruined or demoted to being ~just as bad as those other shows~. Give them some breathing room, have some perspective on how progressive the show is, and that perfection is impossible, especially meeting every single viewer's idea of it. This is basically a repeat of the recent Good Omens drama, with an absurd number of people harassing Neil Gaiman for breaking up Aziraphale and Crowley and leaving the second of three acts on a very predictable cliffhanger. Let stories be told, let them unfold as they may, and you are free to leave anytime. It's so wonderful that more queer love stories are becoming popular and even mainstream, but let's not shoot ourselves in the foot by tearing them down when they don't go exactly the way you want it, which often seems to mean no drama, no character deaths, and therefore no conflict or even plot!
Just, please be civil human beings, and while this seems to be a difficult thing for so many fandoms to do, just keep your fan opinions in the fan space. Never bring your grievances to the writers, never bully them and persecute them for telling a story that you opted into viewing. That's something that goes entirely against everything this show, and this cast and crew, have imparted onto us - the importance of kindness, support, community, and love. I'll say it again because it bears repeating: the fate of a fictional character is never more important than how you treat real people. Just be kind in real life, which includes the internet. Thanks.
Now please, let's work together to ensure we get a season 3. There's so much more story to be told, and if you want to see Izzy back, whether that's as flashbacks, as a ghost haunting the inn, or in the gravy basket, we'll need more episodes! #RenewAsACrew
#our flag means death#ofmd#ofmd s2#ofmd s2 spoilers#and after this i will speak of it no more ok#now once we're all calmed down i am really looking forward to meta about izzy's role in the narrative#i truly think izzy's one of the most well written characters on not just this show but on tv lately in general#suicide mention tw#I tried to put a read more under the first bullet point but tumblr's formatting basically deleted it#by automatically overriding it with an Expand#so sorry about the length and such
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Who would be the first to confess? Or the first to realize their feelings?
Iâm of two minds on this. In my experience, the more common concept is âShadow falls first, Amy falls harder.â This Twitter thread sums up the trope very well:
[Image ID: a screenshot of a tweet by user absolutesilly on April 17th, 2023 that reads, âitâs important to me that the âA fell first, B fell harderâ trope ISNâT about B loving A more. itâs about A spending a long time just getting used to having this (seemingly) hopeless pining going on in the background 24/7, while B is just. hit by a truck with it all of a sudden.
fell first: been suppressing their emotions for so long that itâs like white noise to them. always there but mostly manageable. a bruise that only hurts when you press on it
fell harder: if We Donât Get Married Tomorrow Iâm Gonna Start Biting Peopleâ /.End ID]
And I donât think I even have to clarify which oneâs which. Shadowâs love is quiet and intense. Heâs loyal and devoted. His affection is usually of the slow-burn variety. He hasnât had any canonical crushes so far, but you can see it in his familial/platonic love for those he cares about. Itâs natural to assume romance would be the same way.
And falling hard and fast is what Amy does. Need I mention Sonic? And her desire for marriage?
âShadow has a crush on Amy for months/years until he suddenly sweeps her off her feetâ is common for a reason. Iâve written plenty of it myself, including multiple WIPs. It was how I saw these two for a very long time, and thereâs no denying that itâs compelling and in-character. If I were writing a shadamy-esque relationship in a movie, Iâd write them that way.
HOWEVER...
I donât think game canon is following that trajectory.
Under the cut: lots of ranting and images/hints, both old and new. Youâll recognize a lot of this if youâve read my meta analysis posts, particularly why I ship them, how theyâd resolve their arguments, and my feelings on TMOSTH. Thereâs a tl;dr and relevant headcanon at the end.
In my opinion, âAmy falls for Shadow laterâ doesnât quite jive with canon because I think thereâs ample evidence to suggest she already has a crush on him. Itâs not as strong or obvious as the one she has on Sonic yet, but itâs there, just a little. To make a long story short:
She doesnât look at someone like this...
[Shadow the Hedgehog 2005]
unless she has a crush on them:
[Sonic CD]
She doesnât go out of her way to seek someone out this fervently...
[Sonic Battle]
...unless she has a crush on them:
[Sonic X]
She doesnât insist on bringing someone along like this...
[The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog]
unless she has a crush on them:
Wallpaper posted on Sonic Channel 2/22/21. Art by Yuji Uekawa
One fun aspect of all of this is that the social media team seems to agree with me and keeps noticeably leaning into it. The Twitter Takeovers obviously arenât canon and Iâm not putting those in the âevidenceâ pile, but itâs cute how they keep having Amy act flustered about her feelings regarding him, and itâs definitely not something Iâm imagining this time. Itâs most obvious at 18:14 here:
youtube
The gushing, the stuttering...itâs obvious what theyâre implying. Cindy Robinsonâs very convincing at sounding smitten with him, which isnât surprising considering her feelings on shadamy:
The question before that one in the Takeover arguably counts, too, and the social media team was primarily in charge of The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog, after all. This is consistent for them. There are plenty of other bits and pieces from them and the not-so-subtle marketing team these days, but Iâd be ranting like a conspiracist and hunting down links all day if I got started on those.
^ Me at 2am.
I bring this up not just because itâs fun, but also to prove Iâm not the only one who sees it. Itâs definitely there, and it always makes me wonder what wouldâve happened if sheâd met Shadow first instead of Sonic. Would her little crush on Shadow have become the primary one if heâd entered her life first? Would we see this kind of thing all the time if Shadow were the protagonist?
[IDW issue 59]
Yes
Weâll never know, I guess! đ
Regardless, she met Sonic first, so her attention is...divided. Sheâs usually in-tune with her emotions, so even though her outlook on love is tinted somewhat by hero worship, I do think sheâd figure out she had feelings for Shadow if her crush on Sonic were sidelined. As she got to know him better, sheâd find even more things to love about him, and before long, sheâd be hooked.
For Shadowâs part, itâs pretty clear to anyone whoâs paying attention that he has a soft spot for her of some kind. In my experience, even non-shadamy fans will usually agree with this if asked. And why wouldnât they?
1. He let her hug him and see him cry in SA2, then saved the world because she asked him to. Thereâs a reason fans hate it whenever Amyâs elevator speech at the end of SA2 is put in someone elseâs mouth. Itâs just not believable that heâd save the world for anyone else--not Sonic, not Chris Thorndyke--because the gentleness isnât there for anyone but her. That had to be built and proven.
2. She inspired yet another heel-turn of his in the conspicuously-named âMiracle of Loveâ route in ShTH where âbad boyâ Shadow ditches Black Doom to help her, resulting in a hero classification.
I think we undersell how big of a deal this is. For those who arenât too familiar with Shadow the Hedgehog (2005), that story route starts out with Shadow ignoring Sonic and...*checks notes*...defeating fifty G.U.N. soldiers? The mission says âdefeat,â not âkill.â But Black Doom says âfinish off those soldiers,â âdestroy them all,â âexterminate,â and âannihilate.â In a game where youâre explicitly encouraged to use firearms. On human soldiers. So this Shadow quite possibly has a significant body count by the end of the level, and then he immediately snubs Rouge to destroy Earthâs digital highway system. Thereâs a reason he canât get a hero ending past that point if he doesnât help Amy. Just like in SA2, sheâs the only one left who can turn him into a hero. She speedruns his redemption with one jaunt through a haunted castle. This is the sequence:
[Source]
The way he trails off at, âI didnât have any reason to help her, but since I was looking for the doctor anyway, I figured...â stands out, like heâd forgotten how good of a person he can be.
This brief Twitter thread summarizes the events in a much funnier way than I can:
3. The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog is the most recent and blatant example. Goes to a party. Dresses up in a silly outfit. Embarrasses himself to get her a thoughtful gift. Agrees to go to a concert for a band he canât stand just to make her happy. I donât think I even need to explain this one, but if you want to see me do so anyway, hereâs that link again.
4. In Team Sonic Racing, heâs sweet to her when theyâre on the same team...
...and heâs borderline flirtatious when theyâre on opposing teams. ;)
His lines are delivered in a snarky, teasing way, especially when he calls her cute, and sheâs matching that competitive banter.
[Source: this Twitter thread by MeliCross22:
Absolutely worth a read, and it includes links to the lines so you can actually hear them.]
The question is whether his soft spot is romantic in nature, and as biased as I am...I donât buy it. In the first two, sheâs just reminding him of who he is by calling to mind his memories of Maria, and âMiracle of Loveâ isnât meant in a romantic way. Likewise, in TMOSTH, itâs extremely sweet of him and he wouldnât do that for anyone else, but itâs still not inherently romantic. TSR is less cut-and-dried. It could be flirtation, but it could also just be the race stoking their competitive spirits. Itâs also just a side game, and while itâs still canon, I donât know if Sega would put that kind of dynamic between them in the main series. It could be a case of the TSR writers being secret shadamy fans who are tossing us crumbs, but it could also just be them mixing it up so there isnât yet another instance of Amy saying variations of âSorry, but Iâm in it to win it!â every time she hits someone with an item. Trust me, it gets old.
Canonically, I donât see Shadow as being romantically interested in anyone to a significant extent at the moment, Amy included. Heâs been too focused on his past, his identity crisis, the alien invasion, etc. I donât think thereâll really be room for romance in his life until he fully makes peace with his trauma. This moment at the end of his game...
...just doesnât do that. Shadow Dark Beginnings has made it abundantly clear that he hasnât moved on.
And this is where Amy comes in, because I think sheâs the ideal person for the job.
Sega seems to pivot back and forth between âShadow has no friendsâ and âShadow has two friends, but he even keeps them at a distance sometimes.â Without people in his life who are willing to reach out, he withdraws, and itâs really not good for him. A lot of fans feel heâs hesitant to bond with others because no one else is immortal and he knows how painful loss is. Itâs not explicitly stated, but itâs consistent with his behavior. Isolating himself is easy. Itâs safe. Itâs something he can control.
But itâs not sustainable.
He needs love. He needs it so much. Itâs his very purpose, in the most literal sense. Maria said it best in episode 2 of Dark Beginnings:
âYou have a big heart! It may be difficult for you to express it, but I know that deep down you really do care. About me. About everyone! What you do is what defines you. I know youâre having a hard time finding answers, but Iâm certain you will one day. Then, youâll find even more people you can trust.â
^ This is what I mean when I say Maria would love Amy. Amyâs the only other character who feels love as deeply as Shadow does, the only one who could fully understand, and she just so happens to be a clingy girl whoâll reach out to anyone, even people who think they want to be left alone. Itâs baffling that Sega basically hasnât let them interact for two decades because she absolutely would insist on befriending him.
Shadow hides, but Amy chases. She loves a challenge and doesnât shy away if she feels she belongs with someone, even if that person runs. If she decided Sonic wasnât right for her, I think itâs only natural that sheâd pursue Shadow given her obvious fondness for him. The only difference is that when someone chases Shadow, he doesnât run. He clings. He clung to Maria, he clung to Team Dark, and heâd cling to her, too, and I donât think heâd stand a chance against her charm from there. Heâs a romantic in his own way, and that soft spot of his would turn rose-tinted in a heartbeat. If thereâs anyone who could convince him that love is worth it, itâd be her; I highly doubt sheâd regret her past love of Sonic, and if he thought about it, I donât think heâd regret his attachment to Maria, either. Amy told him the people of Earth deserved a chance to be happy. Now he lives on Earth with her. Couldnât she convince him that he deserves that chance, too?
And if he hesitated and tried to ignore his feelings for Amy, I could see Rouge stepping in to kick him in the right direction. It wouldnât be the first time she talked some sense into him for the sake of his own happiness:
[IDW issue 36]
tl;dr: Amy already likes Shadow. If she spent more time with him, those feelings would grow, and it wouldnât be long before sheâd be pursuing him in earnest. With her talent for breaking down barriers and his existing soft spot for her, it wouldnât be a very long chase.
This headcanon is the one that I think portrays it best. I donât think Iâll ever fully stop writing Shadow Falls First, Amy Falls Harder because itâs so damn compelling, but I love this interpretation, too, and it lines up too well with canon to ignore.
#shadamy#amy rose#shadow the hedgehog#sonic the hedgehog#meta analysis#not a headcanon#i mean technically you could call it a headcanon#but for the sake of categorization & tag blacklisting...y'know#long post
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Random thought popped into my head but it's about vampire Kate x reader. What if reader was a witch of some sort who got her heart broken because Kate is an fboy and became terrified and left when she realized how much she loved the reader but came crawling back a year later because she needed reader's witchy help and they ended up casually flirting because they clearly still have feelings for each other and stuff
ain't that the kicker [K.Bishop]
pairing: vampire!kate x reader
summary: the morning after your late-night encounter with kate doesn't go quite as planned...and neither does the day after that or the day after that. [aka you and kate have way more issues than you thought]
warnings: none, i think?; did somebody order angst?; so much tension, you need more than one knife; i rob you of a longer wanda scene; cliffhanger ending because this got too long; weird vampire powers that are badly explained; very long dream sequences; a surprising lack of actual vampire stuff [i badly need to rewatch first kill]; idiots in love but emphasis on the idiots!
wodcount: 3.2k
a/n: hey everyone, my motivation was pretty dead for a while but, unsurprisingly, vampire kate brought it back! and before you all freak out, YES! THERE WILL BE ANOTHER PART! and maybe it'll be less sad and more spicy, who knows? anyway, thank you so much for sticking with me and my constant disappearing act. my second year at university is wrapping up so hopefully youâll see more of me this summer ;) that's all i have to say, hope you enjoy <3
part one | part three | part four
* * * * * * *
Saying going home with Kate Bishop had been a bad idea would be a massive understatement.
You knew being alone with the heir of Bishop Security would come with problems but the problems all seemed relatively small compared to the continuous waves of pleasure you had been under all night.
To be fair, though, you never expected a grainy picture of you on Kate's lap to be part of that list of problems. You had expected some awkwardness from the charming brunette, the usual "we can't do this again" speech while actively making out in some random storage closet, maybe even some weird looks from your co-workers to further complicate things.
Your original plan had featured everything except you going viral overnight and waking up to the biggest PR disaster to ever hit Bishop Security. (Which is saying a lot considering the many one-night stand scandals Kate always finds herself wrapped up in)
You had so many ideas of what the morning after would be like but none of them included you waking up to an empty bed and a large pit in your stomach that tells you you fucked up big time.
Maybe it had been your fault, maybe you had been too naive for thinking you could really have it all.
Or maybe Kate was right. Maybe she had a longer list of enemies than you had been willing to entertain.
There were far too many âmaybeâsâ in your mind, an overwhelming amount of notifications on your phone, and you had no idea where Kate had gone.
Youâre not sure how long you spend scrolling through Twitter and avoiding all the texts filled with unanswerable questions from your co-workers but eventually, you manage to regain control of yourself and get up from the archerâs ridiculously comfortable bed. You do your best to ignore how shaky your legs are as you get dressed, your mind unfortunately drifting to the night before.
You manage to find your way to the kitchen where there's a full spread of, slightly burnt, breakfast waiting for you. Your heart swells as you read the messy handwriting on the post-it note next to the biggest stack of pancakes youâve ever seen.
Morning, sunshine. I didnât know what you were in the mood for so I made a bit of everything. Eat as much as you can, youâll need a lot of food and water to recover from last night ;) - Kate
Itâs impossible to stop the wave of relief that crashes into you after reading that.
As impossible as it feels, you allow yourself to believe things will be fine. That Kate will stick by your side after opening up to you about her supernatural abilities.
But the fantasy doesnât last long.
Youâre halfway through your breakfast when you hear the front door slam shut with so much force you briefly wonder if the hinges came off. It takes no more than fifteen seconds for the archer to appear in front of you, her shoulders tense and an unreadable storm in her eyes.
Her posture already tells you the answer to the question forming on your lips but you ask anyway. âEverything okay?â
She seems almost startled by the sound of your voice as if hearing you makes you real.
It makes the mess youâre both in real.
âNo,â she sighs. âI have some shitty news.â
âShittier than being called a slut by all of New York?â You reply, unable to stop the urge to make her smile.
Kate doesnât fully smile but she does let out a small chuckle, her shoulders dropping into a less tense position as the sound escapes her. âYeahâŠshittier than that.â
You shouldâve known where the conversation was headed. Shouldâve realized there was no way youâd be able to have it all. No way for you to continue with your life as if nothing had happened.
Maybe you are too naive because you truly didnât see her next sentence coming.
ây/nâŠI have to fire you and we...we canât do this again. This has to be goodbye.â
Everything crashes into you at once.
The realization of what youâve actually done, the stupid ease with which Kate is cutting you out of her life, the betrayal of her practically kicking you out onto the streets. Youâre not an idiot, you know thereâs no way youâll be able to keep your apartment, your humble yet expensive life in New York, without your job.
Without her.
âYouâŠyouâre serious? Youâre throwing me out just like that?â
âItâs not easy for me either-â
âIt looks pretty damn easy, Kate.â You scoff.
âYouâre not the one who spent her whole morning getting chewed out by her mom.â Her words come out like an afterthought, like she knows just how badly sheâll fuck up if you hear the annoyance behind them.
Unfortunately for her, you hear her loud and clear.
âOh, come on. Thatâs your excuse? You had one bad conversation with your mom and suddenly I donât mean anything?â
She doesnât reply and her silence only serves to stoke the flames of fury and resentment rising within your chest.
âDo you know how many death threats Iâve gotten in the last hour? How many coworkers have tried to blackmail me already? Do you understand just how much of my life this has ruined? And you have the audacity to act like you have it hard?â
âDonât pretend like you know anything about my life,â she spits back. âYou donât know anything about me.â
âThatâs bullshit and you know it, Katherine. If I didnât know you, if you didnât care, why the hell did you tell me your dirty little secret?â
She blinks, taken aback by the hard-hitting truth you throw her way.
If you didnât know her, you wouldnât notice the way she nervously fidgets with her fingers or the way she bites down on her lower lip while she tries to come up with something to say. If you didnât know her, you wouldnât know sheâs hurting underneath.
You do know her, though, but knowing her isnât enough if sheâs not willing to let you stay.
So, because you do know herâŠyou walk away.
It feels like giving up in the most infuriating of ways but itâs the only thing you can do. If Kateâs mind is made up, thereâs no amount of reason that will get her to change. Thatâs another thing about her youâve learned the hard way.
So you swallow your pride and walk away with no plan, no job, no way of supporting yourself. If you were a more spiteful person, you would have applied for a job at Stark Industries but instead, you do the second hardest thing youâve ever done.
You restart.
Itâs a bitter defeat and still, you pack up your things and pay an old friend a visit.
You had left Wanda behind after the Westview fiasco but sheâs the only person you can think of running to after your entire life went up in flames. All it takes is one quick spell and the realization that a life without dark magic isnât one you can live before youâre standing on the porch of her small cabin in the middle of nowhere.
Saying sheâs disappointed would be an understatement, especially since she explicitly warned you not to fall in love with Kate Bishop. Itâs hard to believe the witch knew about Kateâs vampire secret but you also wouldnât be surprised if she knew what awaited you the second you left for New York.
Unfortunately, you had to learn things the hard way.
You could write multiple books on everything youâve learned the hard way.
At the top of that list, though, is the true extent of a certain archerâs vampire powers.
It takes less than a month for Kate to reach you againâŠthrough your dreams. Dreams that feel far too real and leave you a tad bit more breathless than youâll ever be willing to admit.
The first time it happens, you assume itâs one of Wandaâs new tricks, maybe itâs her way of helping you cope with what (or rather who) youâve left behind. You think itâs weird but maybe a tad bit sweet and you make a mental note to ask her about it in the morning.
Itâs not until you realize that youâre actively thinking that you start to worry.
To make matters worse, youâre inside Kateâs apartmentâŠand she quite literally stumbles out of her bedroom to see you standing in the middle of her living room.
âOh, shit.â She groans.
Your heart skips a beat at the sound of her voice. You know youâre just dreaming and yet it all feels so real. Itâs like you can feel her eyes on you, hear the way your heart wonât stop pounding in your ears.
Your confusion must be written all over your face because she answers your question before you can even ask it.
âYes, you are dreaming but this isnât like a normal dream.â
âWhat the fuck happened to you not being a mind reader?â You blurt out.
You wait for that stupid smirk of hers to appear, maybe with a half-assed shrug and a semi-charming joke, but it never comes. âMy dream, my rules, I guess.â
âThat still doesnât explain whatâs going on.â
A beat of silence goes by before she sort of gives you an answer. âI can explain but you might hate me afterwards.â
The look in her eyes says more than you can possibly handle right now. Youâve never known Kate to be particularly insecure but all you can see in those blue depths is fear and insecurity. Fear that your feelings for her have changed, that you already hate her and never want to hear from her again.
Too bad youâve never been good at lying.
âTry me.â
The corners of her mouth quirk up into a small smile. âLong story short, weâre bonded. Thatâs why weâre in each otherâs dreams.â
Thereâs a bigger question to be asked but youâre still a little freaked out by how real this all feels. By how intense your feelings for her still are.
âBut this isnât like a normal dream, is it?â
âNope, perks of having vampire powers.â
âSo, you can do everything except read minds?â You canât help but tease her like all the times before. âThat sucks.â
âShut up,â she says with an over-dramatic roll of her eyes.
A calm silence falls over both of you and you hate how normal it feels. How just like that, you forget your anger and the betrayal youâve felt every minute since the day you left New York in favor of falling for her stupidly enchanting self all over again.
It doesnât help that with every second, the distance between you gets smaller and smaller.
You donât know who takes the first step, all you know is you blink and suddenly sheâs standing right in front of you, those soft blue eyes of hers searching for the truth you canât hide.
ây/n,â she murmurs, her hand tentatively reaching out to tuck a stray piece of hair behind your ear. âIâm sorry, I know this isnât what you wanted.â
Sheâs technically not wrong, leaving because of her incapability to deal with her feelings was the last thing you wanted, but itâs not like you had any other choice.
She didnât give you any other choice.
And now sheâs here, staring at you with that wounded puppy look she so effortlessly embodies.
âI wanted you,â you whisper in response. âWhen are you going to get that through your thick skull?â
She chuckles, the sound warm but nervous. Her hand moves to cup your face and her touch is so soft, it leaves you breathless for a moment. âNever, Iâm too stubborn for that, remember?â
You canât help but tease her as the atmosphere shifts into something more affectionate than youâd like. âHow could I forget? Itâs your worst trait.â
âOuch. Is that how you treat your favorite vampire?â
âAw, poor little vampire baby.â
You wait for her to make one of her usual jokes but she doesnât.
Instead, her eyes drift down to your lips and your mind instantly goes blank.
Thereâs an endless list of reasons why you shouldnât do it. Just because itâs a dream doesnât mean it isnât a bad idea. Then againâŠwhen has that ever stopped you from being with Kate Bishop?
Itâs subtle but you lean forward just enough to give her the invitation sheâs too much of a gentleman to ask for. Her eyes widen the slightest bit before she meets you in the middle, the space between your lips becoming nonexistent in the span of a few seconds.
You try your hardest to hold on to your self control, to not seem as desperate as youâve felt since that first night, but itâs useless. Your hands grip the front of her shirt in an attempt to pull her closer despite how insane everything is.
Youâre simply dreaming and yet you can feel every touch, every breath, every desperate effort to make your desires a reality. You would feel embarrassed if Kate wasnât acting the same way.
Her lips leave yours only to trail down to your neck, her fangs instantly teasing the sensitive skin she finds. The anticipation builds inside your chest as she toys with you and itâs all you can do not to beg for more.
âKate.â Her name leaves your lips in the form of a whisper that disappears just as fast as it formed.
All you hear is her sharp intake of breath before it all fades to black.
Your eyes snap open and youâre greeted with the absolute silence youâre starting to associate with Wandaâs cabin. All you can do is lay there in the darkness, your heart pounding in your ears while your fingers trace the spot Kateâs lips had just been on.
It had all felt so real and now youâre all alone again. It shouldnât be surprising at this point and yet you still hold on to the hope Kate will come looking for you.
But she doesnât.
All she does is haunt your dreams in the most literal way possible. She doesnât come to find you and fix your many, many issues, instead, she simply appears in your dreams long enough to send your mind reeling without offering any solutions.
You wish you could hate her for doing this to you but you canât.
You love her.
Worse than that, you love her more and more each night. Even though itâs not nearly enough to heal any of your wounds, and maybe it only serves to hurt you more, itâs definitely addicting.
Wanda offers to help you sever the connection between you and Kate, something about a spell she read in the Darkhold being her only assurance that she knows what sheâs doing. You donât fully trust her on that but you do consider the option for longer than you want to admit.
You reason with yourself that there are much worse things to deal with on a daily basis than highly realistic dreams, though. That being bonded to a vampire isn't the worst thing in the world.
And maybe that would be trueâŠif the vampire in question wasn't Kate Bishop.
You don't know what possesses you to ask but the question slips out in the middle of another midnight rendezvous. Itâs been a little over two month since you moved away from New York, a little over two months since you've shared these weird dreams with Kate, when you finally ask.
âWhat exactly did you do for us to be bonded to each other?â
The question must catch her off guard given the way her eyes widen in panic. âWhat?â
âYou said these weird dreams happen because weâre bonded or something but you never explained how that happened.â You watch the brunette from your spot on the couch and impatiently wait for a response, for something that will help you make sense of everything.
She swallows back her nervousness but gives herself away due to the way she fidgets with the rings on her hand. âOh, yeah, thatâŠitâs because I bit you that night in my apartmentâŠremember?â
Her awkwardness would be endearing if her response wasn't so damn suspicious.
âYeah but you're a vampire, biting people is kind of your thing. You're not automatically bonded to every person you bite, right?â
A beat of silence passes before she answers, her voice shaking the slightest bit. âNo thatâŠthat only happens when there areâŠcertain feelings involved.â
It takes a second for her answer to click in your brain. For her sudden nervousness to hold real meaning.
The answer hits you like a train and it makes your blood boil like nothing else.
âKate, tell me that doesn't mean what I think it means. Tell me you didn't fire me because you were too afraid of having feelings for me.â
ây/n-â
âFor fuckâs sake, Kate!â
The sudden frustration in your voice makes her jump, hundreds of meaningless explanations forming on the tip of her tongue.
You don't hear a word she says.
You can't hear anything besides the pounding in your heart and the devastation that threatens to swallow you whole.
You always knew being with Kate would be impossible but this was something else entirely. This wasn't a lack of feelings between you two, this was too many feelings and too many miles of distance and not one ounce of regret from her.
You're not sure when you stood up from your spot or when she approached you, you simply feel her hand on your waist and the unmistakable sound of her breathing.
ây/n,â she tries again. âIâm sorry.â
âIâm so tired of hearing you say that.â
âI know.â
The last thing you feel is her lips on the back of your neck before you wake up. Alone. Again.
Wanda must catch on to your desperation because she brings up the idea of cutting your connection with Kate that same morning.
âItâll only be temporary,â she assures you. âNo offense but you need sleep more than you need Kate Bishop.â
âIâm a little offended,â you grumble in response.
Despite your reservations, and the voice in the back of your head that tells you running away again is a bad idea, you go along with her plan. She's right, after all. You definitely need some time away from Kate Bishop and her never-ending messes.
The spell is simpler than you expect and it, thankfully, requires pretty much no effort on your part and no weird liquids.
It does also bring the best sleep youâve had in months so you canât complainâŠeven when you wake up missing the sound of the archerâs voice.
You still miss her every day and you're sure that won't change any time soon but you welcome the peace with open arms.
Wanda spends her time teaching you random spells while you help her build a nice flower garden in the backyard. It's weird butâŠcomforting.
You could even get used to life out here someday.
At least, that's what you keep telling yourself as the weeks go by.
Until Kate shows up unannounced and flips your world upside down again with those same soft eyes you fell on love with all those months ago.
#kate bishop x reader#kate bishop x female reader#kate bishop x y/n#kate bishop x you#kate bishop fic#kate bishop fanfiction#series: vampire#kate bishop#hawkeye#hawkeye fanfiction#char: vampire kate#hailee steinfeld#marvel fanfiction#marvel fic#marvel#mcu#mcu imagine#mcu fanfiction#wlw#wlw fic#writing
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Masterlist
Requests are CLOSED!
Who I have written for: Natasha Romanoff x Reader, Regina George x Reader, WandaNat x Reader
Who I will write for: most of MCU women per request, mean girls women, I would write for some Criminal Minds women if I got a request. (I usually do not write for men but if requested I might try it)
-I use she/her most of the time but I am gonna try and write a few with they/them pronouns or I just wonât specify gender
-I am probably not going to be writing for a long while. Between my mental health and school, it is a lot that I can't really handle. If I post it is a huge surprise for the both of us :(
-works with lines through them are not published yet
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Tag List <<<< Comment on any post if you want to be added to the Taglist :)
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Fake Twitter Posts
Agatha All Along: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4
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Natasha Romanoff x Reader
One shots
More than youâll ever know
Natasha comes home from a long mission to find y/n curled up in her hoodie.
Her pt 1. pt 2
Pt. 1: Natasha meets y/n while undercover at a soup kitchen. What happens when hydra gets mixed in? Pt. 2: After y/n gets rescued what is in store in the next chapter of her life with Natasha?
I would die happyđ¶
What happens when âgood girlâ y/n breaks it off with âbad girlâ Natasha, and Natasha realizes she needs y/n more than she thought?
Karmaâs a Bitch đ„ž
Natasha pranks reader without knowing r is petty and will double back on the prank war with much more force
Are you mad?
Natasha is jealous and y/n is a bit sensitive. Y/n overthinks wayyyy too much.
Iâll cut your f****** balls off!đ„
Y/n gets mad when Bruce âaccidentallyâ ends up with his face in Natashaâs boobs đ€š
NatâŠâïžđ„
Natasha and y/n like each other but are two dumb idiots that wonât ever confess their love. Or will they? (You know they will) both are about 17-18
Absolutely not! (nsfw)
Natasha and y/n decide to switch up their typical styles for a stark party. What if they switch up something else afterwards?
Country Girl đ¶
One night a drunken Tony forgets y/nâs Texan roots and dares her to sing something different.
Breaking up with you pt. 1 pt. 2
Y/n is already having a bad day, what happens when she overhears Natasha and Clintâs conversation?
Iâm sure you could pt. 1 pt. 2
Pt. 1: Y/n follows Natasha to Norway. What happens when they go out? (Loosely based off of black widow events) Pt. 2: Y/n goes with Nat as she navigates her way around the red room. (based off of black widow)
Are you f****** kidding me?! đ„ž
Y/n has very bad trauma with alcoholism in her family, so she never drinks. Natasha never pushes it and is always protective of her decisions but what happens when the boys play a little âprankâ on y/n?
Always remember the things she said đ¶
Natasha Romanoff x reader | Wanda Maximoff x reader!platonic/older sister vibes | Wanda Maximoff x Natasha Romanoff!platonic/older sister vibes again
Love you!
Highschool!au where Nat has a fat crush on Yelena's best friend and needs a little help with what to do. Nat also has ADHD :)
Admiring
Sweet Natasha x reader (Tooth Rotting fluff)
Think about sex!
Y/n has a crush on Natasha and Nat says something during a car ride with her and Wanda. Secrets are uncovered.
Want to want me đ¶
Nat canât stay away from y/n in the night. Y/n wants something more than some midnight mayhem. Maybe Nat needs a push.
Holy Shit! (nsfw)
During the ceremony for Y/n and Natashaâs wedding, all of Y/nâs and Natahsa's bridesmaids/men slip Polaroids of Y/n's boudoir shoots throughout the night which leads to a hard time for Natasha.
Embarrassed (nsfw)
Reader's best friend Wanda informs reader about this new thing she learned with Agatha that amped up their sex life. Reader decides to try it out with Nat, and the outcome is better than expected.
You Like Me?
I decided to pair this prompt and this prompt together to create one big mess :)
Baby No!
Reader finds a mug identical to Natasha's favorite mug and starts plotting...
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Drabbles
Where did you learn that?! Pt.1đ„ Pt.2đ„” Pt.3đ„
Pt. 1: Itâs a casual day when Tony brings the team to a new area to show them something. And Y/n surprises everyone. Pt. 2: The three things Natasha wants from y/n. (nsfw) Pt. 3: A few instances when y/n danced on the pole :)
Um⊠sure! đ„ž
Nat makes y/nâs favorite food and y/n wants Natashaâs food instead.
Move! đ„ž
Nat decides she's going to call her sweet, soft-hearted Y/n a word that Y/n doesn't take lightly to see how she reacts.
Clean
Y/n is ten months clean!!!
Very Funny
Natasha and Y/n spar together, but Y/n can't handle Nat's flirty quips even as girlfriends.
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Incorrect quotes
Tis but a flesh wound
She is my purpose
Sleepy Doug
Go. To. Bed.
MY EYES.đ„ Pt.2đ„” (nsfw)
Oh lord
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Series Masterlist
Avengers Team Night Masterlist (I may or may not have said if write all of these and I may or may not have lied) (hint: if you want me to write them. Make a request and Iâll do it :))
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Disclaimer : I do not own any of the characters I write about. You do not have permission to copy my works. (Although Iâd love it if you took inspiration from it and credited me)
Also a disclaimer: most if not all of the gifs, pictures, and videos I use are not mine and I do not own them.
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Regina George x Reader
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One shots
I threw it away
Weight had never been a tricky thing for y/n. Until she started dating Regina.
She knows
Regina comforts r as they battle their ed and work through generational trauma.
Gina?
Reader helps Regina when her life falls apart
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Drabbles/ incorrect quotes
Family time
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I wonder sometimes if these super blunt rude astrologers write about their personal placements as harshly as they do the ones of people they happen to dislike. If so, then cool. I can respect that.
But I read some posts and it's like.... girl. It's so obvious which sign/element/planet combos or aspects you personally hate, lol.
Maybe this is my Libra mercury talking. But sometimes I take really long to write observations because I'm proofreading them for signs of unfairness. When I can, I'll look at my previous posts to see if I was harsh on a placement last time so I can focus on something positive for them in the next one. And vice versa.
I literally feel bad if I reread my old stuff and realize I dragged a particular placement twice in a row without something nice in between. I don't understand people who can't really seem to separate placements from specific people they dislike. And I don't want to understand them tbh. Coming from someone who usually asks "why" for every damn thing, even against my better judgement.
The worst treatment I've ever received in my life was from Scorpio + Cancer men and Pisces + Gemini women. Yet, you will never catch me writing post after post villainizing those placements. Some of my sweetest friendship moments were also with people having sun, moon or other major placements in those same 4 signs.
To get up every day and go on and on negatively about the same placement over and over just tells me that someone can't distinguish where their personal dynamic with specific people ends and the more generally applicable aspects of astrology begin.
I wish I could invent some kind of mind scanner that could instantly display anyone's big 5 and give the prototype to these kinds of people. Just so they could go around and find out how many people they're getting along with JUST fine right now who have all the placements they hate. I know I've said this before but it's something that really rubs me the wrong way and I usually end up unfollowing if I notice a pattern of that in someone's posts. Yeah no. Especially if I get the impression someone is a mean girl astrologer. Nah. Take that energy to Twitter.
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