#i posted it earlier on ig but didnt have time to post it here
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out 24/05/24
#btsnet#bts#rm#namjoon#kim namjoon#btsgif#uservans#btsedit#usermoonchild#kpopco#annietrack#usersun#usermaggie#tusercelia#bangtan network#kpopccc#kpopcc#i posted it earlier on ig but didnt have time to post it here#im really proud of it tho so here ya go#ania.creates
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Okay so there’s this ww artist on ig called like tooth lilys or something and he’s always causing drama in the ww fandom and he mouthed off about your art and now heaps of insta ww fans are like talking about you :| free publicity?
ahhhh so thats whats happening .. lmao thats crazy
i checked out their story, and i sure doooo love how they leave some things out when talking about both situations that they mentioned to make me look worse ..
ok so
warning, yap session incoming
the "will wood in a (miku) binder" thing happened back in fall 2023 when i was still semi new to the fandom and didnt know a lot of things. so tho i to this day i dont think it was that big of a deal, i wouldnt do it today
it was an artwork made for shits and giggles, the context of which i have explained here before. i never meant to imply that will wood is trans and i certainly dont "headcanon" him as that. my curse is that even when joking around i tend to try and make my art look good, so i get why people thought it was unironic. and i know that it sounds like a lame ass excuse, but it legit didnt cross my mind that people would think i drew will wood as a trans guy or smth. legit my only thought process was "funny haha internet thing" + "my favorite thing" = "good idea"
now the usage of his real name is something i am genuinely sorry for, but it was an accident and a genuine mistake on my part. i remember seeing someone mention it casually in some comment section, and assuming that it was ok, since i didnt know he was in any way against it. (i also thought that it was the same name that he used in "the real will wood" in that one section cus it sounded a bit similar).
when i was informed about the fact that he doesnt want it spread around i deleted the post right away and apologized, so bringing it up like something i did on purpose and out of malicious intent is a tad bit .. misfitting, if you can use that word
now the hot topic of the day: my waywood art
i have said this before and i will say this again, how i feel about rpf is solely based off how the people involved feel about it
to clarify: i never drew anything inappropriate or even suggestive with them, the "worst" thing is 2 simple sketches of them smoochin. or. this.
idk if this is what they were referring to when talking about me drawing will wood and gerard way "making out" (specifically. because i think "making out" implies to be more sexual stuff than small kisses). and if so, then it once again feels like blowing things out of proportion
and now the point i want you to get: will wood wouldnt give a flying fuck
like i said earlier, i never drew anything inappropriate, because that would actually cross will's existent and real boundaries. you know, the ones that he stated
im not making some conspiracy theories about him being gay, like some people seem to imply in their inbox messages to me
im not sending a whole ass smut fanfiction to litwtc gmail or something, i dont bother him in instagram dms asking if he wants to fuck gerard way, im not shipping him with people who he actually knows personally and has to look in the eyes of from time to time
im not doing anything that he would actually care about
him and chris have joked about him being attracted to gerard before, and though im not saying that you can joke about everything theyve ever joked about, i feel like in our case its clear that will clearly doesnt care about the implications ? (i generally believe that ww fans would get their panties twisted about less things if more of them listened to what these 2 talk about so calmly on litwtc but i digress)
if he saw that some random teenager on tumblr is drawing him and gerard way (gasp of horror) holding hands, he'd laugh at it max and then move on with his day
people are treating the whole situation like i posted pictures of him from when he was a kid or leaked patreon content or drew him fully naked or anything else that, you know, would actually affect him in one way or another
what im doing is innocent fun which isnt even likely to reach either of them. will wood very rarely checks tumblr and, once again, i genuinely dont believe he would care. and gerard way aint got no internet + he doesnt care x 2
it is weird but rn this is what brings me the most joy, even if its silly to say. both will wood and gerard way mean a lot to me and putting them in situations together makes me happy. i am but a child full of fun whimsy
i wont be posting any more explicitly romantic art to avoid more drama, and i also wont be responding to all the anon messages i received because there are like .. too many of them. an overwhelming amount i'd say. sorry about that
i really didnt mean to cause such a fuss, and i understand why some people might be uncomfortable with what i do
i fully understand why you would dislike my waywood hyperfixation shenanigans, and i dont have a problem w you over that, but treating me like pure evil because of a thing so insignificant is just.. overdoing it
once again, i will be toning it down, but it really isnt the end of the world if i dare to draw will wood and gerard way being a tad bit gay (which is, i apparently need to mention, not me actually saying that will wood the alternative musician is a homosexual gay who is in a genuine for real actual real gay homosexual relationship with gerard fucking way the lead singer of my chemical romance. i think speculating on other people's sexuality and gender identity is boooo tomato tomato tomato)
sorry for the rant and sorry to all who were disappointed by my lack of remorse. come back in a couple years when i turn 18 and stop having fun and artistic freedom
thank you for your attention and i hope i at least cleared some things up to those who werent w me throughout every event where i get involved in fandom drama
bye bye
#asmo goes blahblahblah#my chemical overreaction#idk should i tag this with the will wood tag#on one hand i probably should so more people understand my perspective but i also dont want this to be a better drama than it already is#bleh whatever#fun fact the will wood in a miku binder situation caused me to be anxious about every artwork i post#cus im afraid i didnt consider that people would see the obvious implications that arent actually there#im gonna close my inbox cus#once again#stressful#but yeah. i guess thats it
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Sorry actually its been long enough now I need you all to see the shit that made me have a breakdown earlier this month because it's so. Twitter furry drama is so insular and chronically online and america centric it drives me nuts. never ever draw supermarkets as furries guys its not worth it bc holy fuck
FOR THE MOST PART people were enjoying this esp british people but i genuinely lost mutuals & had people attack me for 'bootlicking corporations' and giving 'free advertising' for uh checks notes. drawing all the major british supermarkets as furries. Half the people didnt even know they were british supermarkets. so many people kept asking me to draw american supermarkets. NONE of the people like the person above were british or had any real sense of our comedy culture and how much we clown on this kind of thing anyway. it was possibly a poor choice of timing of me to coincide this with the drama around people drawing the target dog as a furry (because its...... supporting the company and free advertising, apparently.) anyway. british people on my tumblr im sure u understand how nuts this is. 'free advertising for some shitty company' im sorry ig ill just not shop anywhere for my food then lest i support a big evil company 🤷♂️ no food for me 😊 jesus christ. i cant think of a single person whod be swayed to shop at a different supermarket because some random on the internet gave it a slightly better fursona. except maybe m&s given how viscerally down bad everyone was for her.
god forbid british people joke about they supermarkets and the stereotypes surrounding them.. it was complete satire anyway in reference to all those anthro/personifications people used to do of products/companies, this isnt even my normal style!! oh but if you try to explain yourself it apparently makes it 1000x worse and makes people feel entitled to openly and directly attack you. the random ass hollow but disgusting rape and death threat i got in dms was nicer than the way people on twitter treat someone if their posts blows up. 0 compassion or thought that the person at the other end did not expect nor want this to happen.
+ the posts stats so u can see what i was up against 🧍♂️ (I locked my acc for a few days and turned off replies otherwise it would've kept going for sure) jeeesus christ
i cant even bring myself to keep reblogs on here for fear of this spreading further than this account 🧍♂️ LMAO
#i STILL dont feel the same as i used to on twitter. i cleared out as many followers who obviously just followed for that as i could#but i still feel like my landscape has irreversibly changed#the anxiety i have that people hate me & no one cares about my work anymore etc etc i dont know its. its still there#i had 400 followers when this started and gained about 500. purged about 300 of those#god. literally what is wrong with twitter#this is why i usually always stay well clear of the drama of the week bc its just so not worth it#ppl dont even gaf abt the target dog anymore its been like 2 weeks and theyve entirely moved on. what was even the point#but yeah erm. never have a post blow up on twitter dot com. its not worth it
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hey darling !! how are you ?!!!
hellooorrrr long time no seee i just sent u an ask but my internet was horrific so it may not have gone thru but im very good thank uuu. i want to tell u abt my boy drama so im just gonna copy and paste wht i posted earlier here 4 u to help me with. im so confused with boys.
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i went to a concert about 2 days ago and there was this super cute 6'0 ft guy who was queuing for the concert behind me. after 30 minutes of hype from my friends i asked him for his ig and his name he gave me his ig and we had like a little chat and then after the concert he like waited at the exit doors to say goodbye to me. anyway he seemed so nice and a bit dorky so i assumed he wasn't an asshole. so the next day i texted him on ig and we talked about f1 cos i saw that he followed all the drivers etc and then i said, “it was nice to meet you yesterday, the concert was amazing!” and then he just liked my message and disappeared. it’s been nearly 2 days and i have no idea what happened and why he didnt respond. likeee he looked at all my stories and liked my recent post but he just won’t respond? i’m wondering if he has a gf or something… cos why didn he even bother giving me his ig if we didn't want to even have a conversation. helppppppp
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the mspa reread, pt 7
after finishing homestuck, ive been working my way progressively through the other content available on the unofficial collection. at this point, all thats left to reconsume is problem sleuth, so ill just recap my feelings about everything else in one singular post here to keep the flow going.
if youre new here, dont even worry about it. the previous parts dont matter, unless you want to read my homestuck recaps.
so heres the recap of the unofficial collection bonus material, ig
Skaianet
i was one of the few people who was there when this came out and managed to read the whole thing before it was shut down. i reread it. no further comments.
Sweet Bro & Hella Jeff, + Team Special Olympics
i am not reading either of these. ive glimpsed more than enough in passing.
The Vigil Prince
i read this but i genuinely have no idea what the fuck its supposed to be???
Ryanquest
probably the shortest thing on the site outside of the vigil prince. its pretty funny ig
Namco High
ive played a decent number of dating sims in my life, and this is my least favorite. i played through davesprites route and then resolutely decided i wouldnt bother playing any more. there are too many fucking characters, there arent really any choices, and the whole thing is just a drag. i tried looking up walkthroughs or playthroughs for the purpose of this recap, but i found nothing bc of how unpopular/how little time this game was available for. i was unfamiliar with all characters except the cousin, teh ship thing i GUESS? nad obviously the hs characters. this did not help anything. i think davesprites route was probably the most interesting one anyway.
Paradox Space
i owned this book, i think. i know when i first read the comic i read the physical version. its in storage now, so i just reread it thru the collection. its still really good. i didnt realize hussie had actually written some of the comics. its funny, and parts of it are really great bonus material or commentary on hs.
summerteen romance surprisingly enough holds up for me as both comedic genius and a surprisingly sincere commentary on hivebent and karkats feelings about it on the meteor trip. mister seven remains my favorite comic, but the last one with vriska and equius was particularly powerful, leaning into a chaotic art style that really emphasized vriskas desperation and incoherence as she lost more and more blood. it made me think of what arkham asylum by grant morrison wanted to be. in general though, there are a lot of genuinely really sweet and funny moments in the comic as a whole. i think i loved it more on my reread than i did on my first read.
Jailbreak
jailbreak is a short comic with one splitting track (with no real consequence) wherein a guy tries to escape from jail with some other guys. if i recall, this one is entirely based off of reader suggestions, so its really random and all over the place. its also very characteristic of hussies earlier era humor.
i remember loving it the first time i read it, but honestly? a lot of the jokes were just kind of distressing on my reread. the dark humor just really isnt my thing anymore i guess. its just kind of... gross now.
still, it has a lot of influence on jokes in homestuck. lord jack's entire jail sequence is like, a direct riff off of this comic. this is also where the what pumpkin joke comes from, and the porno sword. the elf saw a penis and began to cry meme is from this comic.
Bard Quest
hussies incomplete short comic. this is where she really experimented with splitting tracks. however, unlike in homestuck and jailbreak, none of them are resolved, which can result in a clunky narrative where you just have too many damn tabs open.
this is very obviously where the codpiece thing started.
Albums
once youve finished homestuck, hiveswap acts 1 and 2 ost unlock, as well as the friendsim ost, a "grubbles" album based off of the fictional hiveswap band, and the final "beyond canon" album.
Hiveswap OST
im a sucker for the hiveswap soundtrack, absolutely. act one especially is fantastic. but the real highlight of this album is toby and james's track commentary. they bicker back and forth and joke around in the notes, and honestly, its fucking hysterical. act 2 is also good, but it doesnt have any of the commentary.
The Grubbles
its good! it has a nice, consistent sound, and the tracks are pretty solid. its very short, though, and i dont have a ton to say about it.
Friendsim OST
the reality is that everything james roach makes is pretty fire. some of the commentary on this albums really interesting, also. i really like M O I S T and >tfw another james roach song, i think theyre some of the most powerful tracks in terms of atmosphere. however, service car is definitely my favorite. its just so funky.
Beyond Canon
something i think is interesting about beyond canon is that its largely new artists. in all of the previous hs albums, you got the sense that a lot of the musicians knew each other and worked together or listened to each others work, and as a result, you really see them build off of each other. there are so many repeating sounds and motifs, with people constantly remixing each others works, or sticking to similar themes in instruments or sounds- ie; favoring piano in songs about john, whatever. theres a distinct sound to those early albums where you listen and youre like, oh yeah, this is a homestuck album.
i dont get that with beyond canon. it doesnt reference any older stuff. these arent recognizable artists whove influenced homestuck for ages. its all new.
robert j, one of like four returning artists, says this in the track commentary:
about five months ago i was contacted to be a part of the homestuck 2 music team and was told the lowdown: it was a clean slate, and a chance to establish the musical rockbed for homestuck 2 going forward. no quotes of hs1 songs whatsoever, but we'd be making new songs TO quote
which pretty much backs up everything i said. and i get the purpose of something like this, but it does present a challenge for new musicians because theyre working without the same base for nostalgia. the fact that there isnt a ton of really distinct musical diversity in this album, with a lot of it relying on a very electronic sound to the point where i originally thought the album was themed, rather than a supposed new start for this new era of homestuck, also may be challenging when moving forward with new albums.
idk. its a fine album, the songs are fine, but nothing about it really sticks out to me.
Final Thoughts
anyway, all thats left now is to reread problem sleuth, and then i can uninstall this massive fucking thing. i might replay the games, or reread the post canon stuff eventually, but the light is shining at the end of the tunnel at last
#hs reread#recaps#this post is largely negative in retrospect i think whoops#wasnt really my intention but it does come off that way
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HAIII👋👋👋FELLOW PV ENJOYER I just wanna say I LOVE UR ART SM🥺🥺the way u draw pv is SOSOSOSOSO COOL N FUNKY I LOVE IT SMMM I usually don’t follow accounts that post purecacao not becauz i hate the ship it’s just not really my thing (also becauz my besties fav ancient is lily and we like making aus together a lot so it’s just easier 2 slam our faves together HSHSHD) but but BUT!! u are the EXEPCTION i just cannot resist ur pv art swagger. it is too pretty it is TOO MUCH OF. A LOT OF GOOD THINGS I DON’T WANNA MAKE A HUGE LIST RN BUTBUT ur gonna get spammed with notifs from me in a second becauz im going through ur pv tag and reblogging ur art of him. I actually saw ur art a lot earlier but. i didnt interact with it idk why I just didn’t feel like writing out a ton of tag compliment essays that day and then I just continued to put it off,, the wonders of having the disorder(s? I just recently got on meds for add but I’m not actually properly diagnosed yet) (also I’m autistic so disorders plural I think) I literallt have no other excuse for not interacting with ur art sooner other than. executive dysfunction sucks and also becauz I wasn’t sure if u were the type of real and TRUE!! purecacao shipper 2 still think lily is shippable or were one of the kinds of people to demonize lily insanely a lot. I had 2 unfollow some1 before becauz they made an extremely negative post about lily that made me kindof uncomfy but. seeing as u also ship hollylily(valid btw) I think it’s time I finally follow u becauz. I love ALL UR ART SM!!!! and I wanna eat it stuff it into my mouth like a chipmunk and run away with it forever it is so. ur style is soooososo unique but in such a visibly appealing way it boggles my MIND when people manage 2 make such unique art styles look SOSO GOOD especially since the only way I was able 2 make my art look okay was 2 make it look. less unique idk. no clue what spawned me 2 ramble on for this long idk I just. think ur art is cool okay. I see ur pv art and my eyes light up n go shiny like big sparkly anime eyes the way u draw is just so. sosososoososo. so. insert every compliment physically possible here I can’t possibly stress this enough just. art. pretty. and I’m envious that ur not even that much older than me I hope that. my improvement speeds up in the next 2-3 years it would b really cool if my art was just as cool as urs when I’m 19. idk. end of ask I’ve gone on for too long I’m sorry I hope u don’t mind. whatever this is ig
this means so much to me holy shit i’m so happy you like my art. and i’m very happy ur a lily enjoyer too!!! i totally agree with you, people demonize her way too much (probably because she “gets in the way” of ppls “gay ships” WHICH I HATE THAT EXCUSE). i still ship purelily, i like to imagine it as a relationship they had in the past. i’m not gonna ignore what they have in canon cuz it’s obvious they loved each other!!! (i’m not gonna freak out when i see other ships with the characters i like LOL). i still love lily and i want her to be happy, she has an incredible amount of depth to her character. she’s not heartless, but she’s not a shy damsel in distress like how other people depict her as well. she’s flawed and incredibly multidimensional, and i hope i have the opportunity to show that more often :D that makes me happy to hear you’re still open to other artists that ship different (normal) things, i hope you enjoy what i draw in the future as well!! i love the ancients a lot and i love other ancients-fans as well!!!
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Hey Tumblr. I dont post much on here but if you follow me on my other socials you know my sweet Monkey!
Well, this week, something triggered him to go into anaphylactic shock and the only vet that would see him was an hour out.. i didnt think to grab a charger and got there with 1% and directions there and back written all over my hand. The whole way there i kept my hand in his carrier, and he would put his forehead in my palm and cry whenever i had to take it away. As i passed Florida and North Carolina tags, i just sobbed. I certainly had a right to be stressed with a dying cat in my passenger seat but i knew to count my lucky stars that there was a vet to go to, that the roads were there to drive on, and so many other factors.
They kept him overnight. My baby wasnt doing good at all. His face was so swollen, his body was trying to seize as they took him back, and he wasnt able to come off of oxygen at all overnight. He was still breathing fast when i picked him up, but once we got in the car headed home he slowly but surely leveled out. He takes medicine like a champ and so far he’s been doing great- swelling all the way down, breathing normal, sleepy from meds, and maybe a little anxious (he’s been sleeping closer to us and hanging out closer) but things are looking up in that regard.
But it’s just my boyfriend working. We were able to put the expense on his credit card this time, but this year we’ve also spent $15k in car repairs, and had just started to recover from that when this happened. By next wednesday 10/16, we’ll have spent $3000 and we still arent 100% sure if he will have to go on medication for life or not. Im not asking for donations without giving back in return so ive been brainstorming on how i could help build ourselves back up and keep an emergency vet fund on me in case this happens again. But as it stands right now, if it happens again too soon, i may not be so fortunate and will have to make a gut-wrenching decision.
I know cats don’t live forever, but Monkey is only a year old. He came to me last September as a 3 week old kitten, who had been lost from mom for so long he was starving, dehydrated, and so weak. I had lost my 9 year old, Pixel, earlier that year, and my cousin Andy was murdered the same weekend he was born. When i first held him, i said the same thing my granddaddy said about me as an infant; “just like a Monkey!” cause i had long little toes and Monkey is a Polydactyl. In many ways, it feels like all three of them hand picked this cat for me, so he is very special to me.
So here is some of my art! Ive been working on improving and growing my skillset so I’d love to tackle animals/pet portraits, classic cars, landscapes/skies, etc but my forte as of late has definitely been more anime/cartoon style. If you feel led to donate or support me in any way, put a prompt in the notes or message me and i will get back to you asap. I’ll post some more examples soon or you can follow my IG/FBpage; thefeathereddragonart and if you’d like to see some extremely cute videos of Monkey, go check out my tiktok TheFeatheredDragon
My cashapp/venmo is triangularbird ! Thank you so so much in advance. Even if you cant help monetarily, i genuinely appreciate if you share or reblog or even just follow in case you might be able to in the future or you just want to see Monkey. Thank you again. 🫶🏻☮️
#artists on tumblr#colored pencils#micron pens#fan art#polydactyl#orange cat#put an artist to work#for hire
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Casually going to be venting / ranting here, will include screenshots
Also, I will not be as active more than likely while I work on cleaning my room and preparing for the move. Initially I was going to talk to my therapist about it but I can't wait for the 22nd to get a second opinion from someone who knows my situation but doesn't have that personal connection to me
For anyone who does decide to read/look, get the popcorn cause you are getting context and screenshots of my in the moment ramblings too And also feel free to put your opinion as if this were an r/AITA or r/WIBTA post! I've always liked those idk why lmao
this is going to be the exact opposite of organized, but I will trY
First, the context:
since 2021-2022 i have babysat my niece when my sister was unable to afford her babysitter, however there started to be long periods where she was unable to pay the money (cheaper than what it is now, which is 10 USD an hour)
march/may of 2022 (don't remember exact month, but i do know it started with an M) i notified her i would be looking to start my GED soon, and months earlier in 2023, i still have not started it as babysitting has moved to full time, 5 days a week with little to no pay to compensate. she claims to have been looking for solutions/alternatives, while- to my knowledge- not having looked into or signed up for any aids/benefits a single mom could have
i have had to message a friend one day, when i made plans for them to come over and spend the next few days with me, and tell them 'so im babysitting my niece'. luckily they adore my niece, so they didn't care about helping me with watching her (note, i've also had plans change last second on days i was supposed to have off via the one watching her being her actual babysitter; i am neurodivergent - ADHD - and hate things changing last second especially when i have plans)
my therapist even agrees that my life is being put on hold so my sister can have a babysitter, and that i shouldn't have to do it. there is no progress so far for being able to say 'no' to babysitting (notice how it's not technical consent, as i have no room to say no without her getting upset?)
months ago, around May/June, i mentioned going down and living with my partner for a month or two in AUGUST, and she started panicking. not only talking bad about how my mom and i react and jump to extremes when i just notified her of the offer my partner ASKING if it would be okay
In general, my life is being put on hold since 17 and maybe even 16 turning 17, years old to accommodate for my sister's financial trouble without a sign I'll be able to further myself.
Let's add onto the fact that I make money where I can via my art, and I pay my own phone bill. That's it. That's the only bill I have to pay. And I can't even do that when I also want to help my mom out with the bills of where we live.
My last proper stretch of time off had been when my father died. Just 2 weeks of time off. Then back to the weekend being my only day off (except for today because I had to babysit today too ontop of watching her on my sister's day off to clean the house my dad lived in and the trailer i live in because of some spiritual culture stuff)
I'm also gonna point out that she had said 'tr@nny' and did not apologize, just stared at me, when I said 'that is a slur' - i'm trans and she has been transphobic to me before (i doubt her views have changed just because she is getting involved in her culture)
She's also the one who kept acknowledging what happened with the spiritual stuff, after tearing into me a lil bit about "after this is over don't talk about it, don't acknowledge it, etc" and now because of her acknowledging it and asking me about it bcuz IG IT DIDNT STOP, I think IM starting to feel whatever the fucker's effect on people is
Now the screenshots (names will be blurred):
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Tag game: Current
got tagged by @begaydoalchemy !! thank u !!
- Current time: 9:45 (AM for you US peeps smh)
- Current activity: finished up prefarming blades traces to 6/8/8/8. double calyx drops events is a godsend. was listening to a video essay on the bg but the favorite song section made me go listen to stiny on repeat again bc i love inflicting emotional damage on myself so i guess thats what.
- Currently thinking about: so theres this person in the hsr leaks subreddit megathread doing daily renheng insanity ponderings since blades trailer dropped and ive been just losing my mind ever since reading them. anyway i wanted everyone here to get to see them too but didnt wanna repost em bc its just kinda ehhhh to do so. here u go!! suffer with me!!! click the links theres all 3!!! (spoilery warning tho. idr how many leaks refs there are in there exactly but expect some at least)
- Current favorite song: spotify most listened to top5 currently looking like NEON by raon, kissaki by reol, wildfire, cha cha cha (we will never forgive xx swedes watch out) and stiny from KALUSH & jerry heil.
but like let me be clear the only reason reol isnt number 1 is bc the full version of the song only came out like 2 weeks ago and the earlier released shorter anime ver of kissaki is literally 7th on the list.
- Currently reading: ...i mean mostly just renheng fanfic but uhhh. i did read where the crawdads sing from delia owens (just plucked it out from the bookshelf randomly bc i was bored) a month or so back. it was neat but no like particular strong feelings abt it. it was very well written and i liked the flow of the prose a lot. also waiting for crooked kingdom to get a finnish translation bc i got six of crows in finnish and i dont do book series as mixed language sets generally. (also the translation work itself was just like an absolute fucking banger with the imagery and metaphors used like chef kiss)
- Currently watching: no particular show (last thing was when i rewatched fmab a couple months ago) going on but like. random video essays or informative stuff on yt honestly and its mostly for bg noise.
- Current favorite character: gee i wonder. dan heng (past editions included), blade, (big gap here bc i tunnel vision on characters), bailu, luocha, jing yuan i think for specific ones from hsr for now. am looking out for jingliu and fu xuan too i need to study them. in genshin its like. yeah its mr childe ajax tartaglia all the way but i kinda just havent been feeling it for the game much so eh. tighnari, kazuha up there too n arlecchino obvi.
- Current WIPS: what kind of productive person do you take me for??? ig i like. opened word this week to type out some random passage drafts for a ficlet type thing relating to the post i made a while back abt belobogs temperatures wrt dan hengs potential terrible, horrible, no good, very bad scalie time with it but do Not expect any results from that or anything i s2g. ive finished one fic in my life and that was half poetry half madness full one sitting and be done with it type deal
im sorry i have no idea who to tag so like. anyone who wants to do it feel free, mutuals or followers!!! :]
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05/28/16 ENTRY: ig post
This was taken at a resort in our hometown, Lemlunay Resort. I was here for two times to unwind because of the same person. First was way back 2015, when my classmate approached me and asked how I was doing. That time, I was feeling sad and all cus I think my first gf and I at that time had a fight. I dont remember exactly the reason behind the fight. So, I told her what happened and she offered to take me out to the beach for the next hour. Amused and happy, I asked her how we’d dry ourselves. She then told me to go home, pick up some clothes since she’ll have to go home too and get her dad’s car. I agreed and so when our current class ended, I went straight home. I packed some bikini, small towels and got some money from my piggy bank for extra. After and hour, we met at Robinsons Mall where she parked the car. We went grocery shopping first to buy some snacks and went straight to the resort. Our travel took 30-40mins and when we arrived at the resort, it was empty. Well obviously, it was weekday and in the afternoon. The resort had two options for the entrance fee. You can either pay more to have access to the infinity pool or you can just pay around P300 and enjoy food in their resto which has free access to the ocean. Ah, yes. The resort’s located in a clif. So the view from the infinity pool and resto was the ocean. Such an amazing view.
We ordered food and I got the potato salad. I dont know what the hell was a potato salad before but that’s what’s familiar for me at that time LOL and I ended up liking it so every time we went there, Id order the exact same thing. After we ate our food, I changed my clothes and went to the stairs that leads to the ocean. (Did I mention that we went there wearing our uniforms?! HAHA!) It was low tide that day so the waves were just calm and I enjoyed floating around. There was a rope tied from the staircase to idk where in the bottom of the ocean. I held on the rope while floating so I wouldnt go any further. I loved every second I spent with the ocean that day.
That in the photo was my second time going there with my former classmate, now closest friend. This time, she didnt took me here to unwind alone but all of us in our circle of friends went here to chill. This time, we had beer. All of us went to swim in the ocean and that day was high tide. The waves were a bit strong at that time and it made our stay there so much fun than we expected. We would all cling unto the ropes and laugh our asses out cus the waves were strong that we couldnt control our bodies from moving with the waves HAHA! That time also, I had my first tattoo. So I was kinda flexing it as well. I mentioned earlier that I came in this resort for the same reason and yes, she’s one of the reasons why I was there. To have fun and try to forget about her.
That day was one of the happiest moments in my life. I didnt care about anything. I let myself be who I am and be free from worries.
I feel like I no longer need to explain the quote in the photo.
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I DIDNT SEE IT AT FIRST but @youdontgotoparties tagged me to share my top albums from last year ok here we go. Also I meant to post this to @tran5rightsos oops
Like half of these came out last year, but a few are recent discoveries
1) 5 Seconds Of Summer - 5SOS5
So good. They can’t keep getting away with it, they’re just so much at all time ykwim? These songs FUCKED live. This is the only non-metal album on this list lmao it was just that kinda year. Complete Mess has some vibes for sure.
2) Lorna Shore - Pain Remains
GIRL I should not be allowed to listen to this like what the fuck? I found out about LS last year from watching the throat cam interview and then listening to Sun//Eater like damn this guy’s got some noises. But it’s also the instrumentals, Adam just doesn’t know when to stop. They’ve got this epic vibe, like Dark Souls boss fight music or some shit, Cursed To Die gets me hyped every time.
3) Wage War - Pressure
This is an older one that I found last year, I’ve really been sleeping on this band. They’re a Fearless band so I’ve known of them for ages I just never gave them a solid listen before. Top recommendation would be Grave.
4) Motionless In White - Scoring The End Of The World
I’ve been trying to get into MIW for years and ig last year was finally the right time. I got to see them live with I Prevail and that had me like damn I should give them another shot. Cyberhex is pretty.
5) I Prevail - Trauma
This album got a lot of hype when it came out but I didn’t give it a listen until last year. The show I saw was the one where Eric had been in the hospital earlier that day. Glad he’s okay but ngl it would have been pretty metal if he’d died from playing BB at soundcheck. 10/10 would cry to Let Me Be Sad.
6) I Prevail - True Power
GOD. You can really hear how Brian and Eric have developed their vocals in this one. I get some Linkin Park vibes from it and that fucks. They do really good sad songs so even though TP is just bangers from start to finish I’m gonna single out Deep End as one of my favs.
7) Bad Omens - The Death Of Peace Of Mind
So I’ve heard some of their material before? Which is why Concrete Jungle had me like ??? when I first heard it. Very unexpected but the vibes do fuck. This is the only album on this list I don’t physically own :c
8) Dream On, Dreamer - It Comes And Goes
Fucks. Cannot believe they broke up and I’ll never know how these songs sound live, the vibes are just off the charts. So pretty, they truly went off with Don’t Lose Your Heart.
Anyway everyone share your favourite albums from last year it’s fun
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i saw you wanted yoohyeon requests so here you go ig! yoohyeon and 8th member gf have been dating for a while and the members know about it, but they rarely see them being affectionate with each other. One day, yoohyeon has to go out for a schedule or something so she kisses her gf on the lips without realizing the members are here lol. I hope i’m not overwhelming you with my request tho. Have a great day<3
MISSING YOU : yoohyeon x (fem!reader)
a/n: sorry it took long for me to answer ur request anon, i have so many writings ive been doing so i can post them if i dont have time to write :( i hope you understand and ty for requesting!
-
you and yoohyeon have been together for awhile now. the other members know you two are together ever since yoohyeon asked you out but they've never seen you both show affection infront of them. it's not that you dont want the other members to see but you guys like showing eachother love more when its just the two of you.
earlier on in the dorm, you and the members were off schedule except yoohyeon since she had to work on her upcoming solo.
"hi baby! what are you up to right now?"
"hi love, im just reading this book! you look beautiful, why are you all dreased up?"
"i have to get back on schedule a little bit early for my solo. i'll be back in a couple of hours and maybe you can tell me more about this book you've been reading, yeah?"
you pouted at the fact you wouldn't be able to spend half the day with your girlfriend but she lightened you up by hugging you tightly.
"im sorry, i wish i wasnt on schedule right now. i'll make it up to you later on when im back, we can do anything you like!" she saw you still frowning, knowing what you want whenever you pout, she kissed you while hugging you.
it was a long lasting kiss to make you feel better before she left. when yoohyeon pulled out of it and smiled warmly at you, you stared blankly past her. confused at your look she turned behind her to see all the members gathered up in awe.
"guys stop looking really you're gonna get us all caught. oh uhm... yoohyeon, y/n! uh we were just..."
"we were looking at the beautiful view behind you guys! yeah uh, we're sorry we didnt mean to walk in on you guys"
they all laughed after a few moments of silence, "it's okay guys, dont be embarrassed. i was just gonna head out for work soon, right honey?" she looked back to turn to you to see you covering your face as a hot blush settled on your cheeks.
#dreamcatcher imagines#dreamcatcher scenarios#dreamcatcher#dreamcatcher x reader#yoohyeon#yoohyeon imagines#yoohyeon scenarios
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heartbreak avenue (3) || albedo x reader
heartbreak avenue (1) heartbreak avenue (2) -- tell me how, do you do this thing called living? when theres nothing more to gain. gn reader -- ignore the link below idk how tf to hyperlink on mobile but that’s ur part 4 ig
damn. imagine missing mond so much that you visit just for the vibes and accidentally become a one time vigilante for dominating over a couple abyss mages
how oddly specific!
you moment.
TO BE FAIR, you didn't mean to and also ur just strong with that 245% crit damage ugh yeah yeah get it ig
it was night time, like, idk 1am and you were in this cloak because idk look swaggy and comfortable
abyss mage went ŏ̸̡̡̹̘͉̫̬̬̭̘̙̝͐͒̆̈́̒̿̄́͠͝ǒ̸̧̺͕̣̬̝̱͈̭̭̻̮̈̏̔͆̑̀̍ǫ̵̡̜̲̭̠̤̰̹͍̣͎̤̈́̓̍͠ḩ̴̡͍̣̹̯̭̩̮̣̩̭́̔̀̍͊̂͒́̆͘͜͝͝ȃ̷̧̡̢̡̨̛̪͓̤̜͕̳̦̼͊̏̃͆̓̈́̈́̽̈́͌͐̋̚ͅh̸̡̩͍̟͕̥͚̰̰̟̮̖̪̉̈́͛͂̍̾a̸̧̢͕̙̞̳̩͈̲͉͕̒̆̎̐̎̍̀͊͘̚͝h̸̡̼͓̝͕̫̤̰̱̬̣̗͚̙̀͜ and you were like "lmao shut up"
and like it did! because you made it shut up and also mans diluc was watching in his dark knight hero thingy
of course you noticed his presence from the beginning, you just wanted to piss him off and act like he wasn't there at all
you walked. straight past him like he was actually on the bridge in the middle and you just w al ked .
i mean ofc he gonna say something. and he did. dude said "who r u"
stared at him directly in the eye and said "the embryo made of chewed bubblegum."
he stared. sh o ck ed . what were you even saying
"jk im a resident of mondstadt, visiting from my liyue trip."
"and how do i know you arent lying?"
you sighed and grabbed your dendro vision, letting him look at the frame. "its incased in a mondstadt styled frame." after a few seconds, you put it back. "if that is all, i'll be going."
"k"
"literally fuck off" you responded and walked inside.
sometimes you forget how rude mondstadt people are lmao loser.
ok so like this donna girl really went up to you like "JFKLSJFLKSDJFL NUMBER ??? HELLO ?? UMM THE WAY YOU SAVED MONDSTADT RLKDFFC" and you resisted every urge to flip her off on the spot.
you just stayed and let her talk, smiling through all of it. your hood was still on but it was quite windy s ooo
its been ten minutes. girl please let us go. you were literally begging for anyone to cut in because ur too nice (or unbothered) to tell her to shut up even though you totally went off on diluc aadahahhshdf
and someone did! not the one you expected though.
"good evening donna, and... oh? who would you be?"
ALBEDO LMAO GET STICKBUGGED? ? ? ?? AH a hjfkahfjah . im so funny .
guys i meant that ironically please
anyway
you got even more uncomfortable lmao and you just looked at him and smiled. what do you respond? "no one of importance."
he heard your voice, saw your eyes and it registered. it was you...
or was that what he wanted to believe?
cause this whole time hes been waiting for you, only using experiments as a thing to pass time. it got... a little more lonelier, because nothing could replace you.
he decided to not believe it. because 1) you knew well they welcomed you with open arms, so there would be no need to hide yourself
(which is also proof of how much the whole situation fucked up your thinking)
a second of silence before he continues on the conversation with normal evening meeting stuff things idk
then ur like "ahhshaaajk i must be taking my leave now for matters i will not disclose ahaha skidoosh"
skidoosh
so you go to the big venti statue next to the cathedral and just stand. stare. yikes
no ones out right now and theres nothing to do. but you remember this place because its where the both of yall would eat together whenever he had free time (which wasnt that often, but he still made the effort)
you look up to the sky, counting all the stars like you used to.
no ones gonna know that you're here, you decided on that. you only visited because you simply missed it, but after this, you were going back to liyue.
no ones gonna know. because no one needs to know. no one needs to know that you were here. that would only cause more trouble to the situation you tried to avoid
albedo ends up catching up to you later, still having some spark of hope left that it really was you
i mean lowkey there isnt really anything saying it wasnt. he wanted to believe that he was just overthinking when he thought it really wasnt you
like you look the same. sound the same. its just the reasoning of you coming here, but he can push that aside
"(y/n)."
you flinch but didnt react with anything else. he doesnt need to know that its you.
"(y/n)?"
you turn around to meet his eyes as he was approaching you. slightly distancing yourself another inch away as you were not used to the proximity, you responded, "i'm afraid i'm not the one you're looking for."
albedo stops for a moment, and was about to apologize,, but then
yknow that wind i mentioned earlier? like right after donna started bothering you
yeah that same wind blew ur hood off! lmao L
okay time to get serious !
you stay composed and sighed, your breath visible in the cold air.
so your features are exposed, and its so obviously you, like theres literally no way it cannot be you
"it really is you..." he doesnt understand why youre not admitting to it. "(y/n), please.."
you shake your head and walk away but mans grabs your wrist gently
"(y/n), whats wr-" he starts, but youre quick to respond
"im not (y/n)." you flat out said it and looked right into his eyes. and you swear there were small tears even if he was deemed nonchalant.
he doesnt understand, its your physical features, and your same energy, there is no other person that completely matches it.
he pulls you closer to examine this black smudge on your hand, a small yelp of surprise coming from you.
"this is... ink," he studied the properties of the substance. "you responded to my letter a day ago. (y/n)... i know by now. there's no reason to hide it."
you step away, freeing your hand from his grasp. your voice broke, tears forming in the corners of your eyes. "i'm not... i'm not (y/n). i never will be. i'll never be so vulnerable again, i'll never be so naive again, i'll never be so lonely again, i will never ever be anything like they were again."
your vision blurred, but you werent oblivious to the tears streaming down his face as well. reaching to brush them away, you paused and let it drop to his shoulder instead.
"albedo. i... the (y/n) you knew... they're gone now. and if i could revert back to them any time, i would, i swear, but... i'm al-... they..." you buried your head in your hands. "i'm broken. to the point that i refuse to identify as the (y/n) you know me by."
doesnt know what to say, so he almost pulls you into a hug before you move out of the way. something you never did.
"don't... please. it never works out in the end." you shake your head, facing the other way. "for me at least."
"..we could work together, no?" he tried, still oblivious about your feelings towards him.
"only if you're willing to cross your moral boundaries," you looked back and tilted your head. taking a deep breath, you continued, "but you know that neither of us are willing to do that."
he couldn't say anything, because as much as he hated to admit something for once, you were right about that. at this point, he would've thought that literally any extent would've been fine to reach to bring you back.
yet in multiple situations where he's doubted himself before, theres always a line he will never cross.
"...i wish you the best. treat her well because i worked hard." you walked away without him stopping you this time. i worked hard. not we worked hard.
even if you had honestly felt that way, there was no chance the old you wouldve actually voiced that.
and so he watched you slip from his grasp again, only this time, he stopped himself from holding you back from his own will.
yet he swears- the next time he meets you again, he will bring you back.
#albedo x reader#genshin impact x reader#albedo#genshin albedo#genshin angst#albedo angst#sucrose#genshin impact fanfiction#genshin impact#genshin x reader#genshin headcanons
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ngc ramblings part 3- chapter 5
here we are at part 3!!! sorry this one took so long, i originally was gonna make this post include entropy and extus (along with finally talking about face in depth) but it was so fuckin long that im splitting it into 2 different posts! the next part isnt done yet but im like almost halfway done so it shouldnt be too much longer until its out! also before we get into this one:
tw for: death, animal death, and suicide. pls take care of urself and don't read this if those things are triggering for u <3
ok lets get on with the post
at the start of entropy zach doesnt waste any time getting right to the point. this place is bigger than the other planets so far, and zach says the music this time around is a melody that “started out normal but then got distorted” played by a violin sounding instrument. even tho i do sometimes forget that this is supposed to be a creepypasta im not surprised that he said it made him feel depressed and unnerved lmao. anyways, this planet has all new level types in it!! no reused ones!! ok now this is epic. the bosses this time around are megalon, battra, and mechagodzilla, but itll be a good while before we get to those guys because this chapter is long as hell holy shit?? buckle up babez <33 now, before i get into the meat of things as usual im gonna talk abt the planet name! entropy basically means “a lack of order/predictability or a gradual decline into disorder” and that's very accurate to this part of the story. at this point, red is pissed off and is getting desperate, which means from here on out things are going to be getting more intense and more unstable. this world is the turning point in the overall story, basically.
now with that out of the way, zach first goes to the worlds quiz level as usual! this time something was different. usually, in the quiz levels there would be goofy ass music playin in the bg (specifically the GH1D0RA cheat music, if you wanna like listen to it ig?) but from here on out its been replaced by the music from the games password screen, which zach called creepy earlier on in the pasta. im gonna glaze over the quiz again this time, but when we get to the next planet ill talk about all of the quizzes in depth all at once. basically all you need to know for now abt what happens here is face asks “do you like mothra?” and when zach picks no (after going on a tangent abt how mothra sucks lmao,, bro i swear im good at the game my controllers just messed up /s), face enters bastard mode and goes “TOO BAD!” and boom now zach cant play as anyone but mothra. zach is pissed for now but little does he know this is just going to become an even more epic gamer bc of this,, youll never get better at something if you never try and all that.
after that, zach moves on to the first level type- the forest. immediately zach gets an eerie feeling from this level bc he has some kinda fear involving forests at night (i can think of a reason why but ill have to talk abt that later just to be sure). hes also not feelin great about being forced to play as mothra, so the pressure of it all is def starting to get to him by now. the music in the forest is woodwinds followed by slow, rhythmic drums and chiming bells. must have been some ominous woodwinds and bells bc it made him feel like he was intruding somewhere he shouldnt be (oh rlly?? u dont say,, everything up until now has been fine /s). getting into the level itself, eventually zach comes across some weird deer-like monsters just vibing and scares them away when he gets close. later in the level he finds more of these weird deer along with a sloth-like creature on some of the trees and some raptor dudes killing some of the deer. zach shoots one of the raptors but thats about it. nothing really happened in this level but zach noted that he didnt feel like he was playing a video game, but instead it felt more like he was exploring a forest in another dimension. thats interesting for reasons ill ~get to later~ (yall must be so tired of hearing that by now omg,, i know im tired of saying it at least. i was gonna wait until after replay to talk about things but i severely underestimated how long this whole project would be, so i might make a post for the “more on that later” stuff before i get into replay. let me know what u think i should do).
anyways, the next thing zach checks out is the first tv screen level so far. these levels just play an animation with some music in the background, and theres a different animation per level. this time around the animation is of a kid with a beaver(?) head licking a lollipop and the music is the GH1D0RA music that the quiz levels used to use. the only thing of note here is that zach says he had a shirt that looked just like that when he was a kid. after that, were off to some of the weirdest fuckin levels in this whole thing imo- the hourglass levels. these levels have an entirely brown color palette, with grandfather clocks standing in the background (the level appears to be in like a hallway or something) and various time measuring things floating in the air. the music is the same as the board (ig cosby just didnt feel like thinking of what theme this place would have lol). after a little bit zach was rlly happy to see actual enemies from the normal game show up! these are basically like aircraft, tanks, etc. thats not the main attraction here tho, bc this level has its own unique mechanic! this mechanic is the colored hourglass items you can pick up. there are three of them, a blue one that slows time down and makes enemies from the past appear, a red one that speeds up time and makes enemies from the future appear, and a green one that made the time flow normally and spawned enemies from the normal game. zach found the blue one first, which caused a bunch of prehistoric enemies based on real animals to show up. after that he found a green one and fought normal enemies again, and then he found a red hourglass. the future enemies here look like aliens to me, and zach says that one enemy reminds him of something he saw in a book once. eventually, a special future creature showed up and zach was suddenly in a boss battle! or a mini boss battle? that description is probably more accurate. this guy doesnt have a face, and he can only attack by shooting a beam from his face, it sure does look cool! after zach beat it tho, he was off to the next level type, which is basically a toxic waste dump.
zach called it grungy and inhospitable, with the music being a synth ambient loop that made him feel dizzy while he listened to it. this is important because this is the first instance of the game making zach feel something *physically*, not just psychologically. all of the enemies here are mutated to some degree, with him first seeing green mummies with bird skulls coming out from vats of toxic slutch and a brownish cow skeleton monster with spider legs. later zach comes across a deer from the woods, drinking some toxic slutch (delinchous). zach got close to it to try making it stopped but suddenly some enemies came out of nowhere and scared it into running right off a ledge and into the slutch. rip :pensive:. after that zach found more mutated enemies (i.e some things with tentacles and some other deformed thing with human teeth) before he finally gets to the end of the level, where theres another miniboss waiting for him!! this ones a toxic sludge monster with a whale skull who attacks with a mouth projectile and by charging into you. the monster sank into the slutch and thats all for this level babeyy!
the next level is another forest, but this time its winter! its still at night, but this time zach doesnt feel off put, which he mostly attributes to the music. he describes it as a gentle, calm song that almost sounded romantic. the entire first segment of this level had no enemies in it, but dw this level is interesting i swear. the next segment starts out just as empty as the last one, but this time its silent. that is, until the music from “unforgiving cold” starts playing. yaa you remember that place!! i think i said it was less interesting than i remembered but its interesting again now bc it was foreshadowing these levels!! anyways soon after the music started up, zach started to come across tons of frozen bodies of the deer from earlier. some were mutilated, some werent, but they were all frozen and covered in snow. eventually zach does come across something living though, a sloth creature from earlier! its just vibing when suddenly the winter versions of the raptors from earlier rush in and fuckin obliterate the sloth thing. those things just blindly try killing everything in sight, and even start fighting themselves before zach finally gets to the last part of the level.
now this is where shit starts to get crayzay. this part opens up to a big empty field with a full moon and the nice music from earlier back. despite the nice music tho, zach immediately starts feeling dread and eventually he finds a lake. the lake comes down from the sky and starts to crack like an egg, a humanoid figure curled up in the fetus position dropping into the lake below and the moon halves disintegrated. this spawned the moon beast, the hardest challenge zachs had to deal with so far. after he finally defeats it, the screen goes to black and the name “melissa” is on screen, written in red. after that, the screen then says kys. the word kill then fills up the screen, layering over itself until it forms a picture of reds face. its now that we finally get to hear abt the whole melissa thing (which makes it sound like shes been mentioned in the pasta before this but thats not what i mean lmao). to summarize, zach had a middle school gf named melissa (also bro middle school?? wadda hell) who often went into “episodes” where she would stare off, expressionless, before trembling and putting her face in her hands. she and zach hung out in a field at night a lot but one night she just stared at the moon the whole time before running into traffic and dying.
NOW its finally later!!! were not done with entropy yet, but this is the end of part one of entropy so i wanna just take a little break to talk about things so far. this planet is FULL of symbolism and foreshadowing. to start off, i think a lot of the questions face asks at the beginning foreshadow things that happen. some examples are “is time slipping though your fingers?” which could allude to the time levels, “do you have any regrets?” which i think obviously foreshadows the whole melissa thing, “is it safe to go out at night?” and “do you find it hard to sleep at night?” both follow the same kinda theme, which i think relates to how the melissa incident happened at night, specifically out at night. i dont think the forest levels have anything too important in them, other than to introduce the presence of an innocent, harmless creature that doesnt deserve what happens to it later (aka the deer things) which might symbolize melissa. more evidence for this symbolizing melissa comes from the encounter with the deer in the toxic dump and the winter forest, where in the former zach tries to stop it from hurting itself but is too late, being forced to watch it die, and in the latter the same innocent thing from earlier is found dead close to where the real incident took place. the two big themes to keep in mind here are death and time, more specifically the past. most of the enemies here are either made from bones or kill other enemies, there's a dedicated time level referencing things that zach remembers seeing at one point (aka that one alien zach recognized), the beaver head had the same shirt as child zach did, it all connects to zachs past and the death of melissa. as for the moon beast, its the most obvious reference for reasons ive already explained. i dont really know what the moon cracking open and dropping a curled up human into the lake could mean other than some other thing melissa related, but i *do* think that the fact that the moon beast is the most difficult thing zach has faced so far is symbolic of the fact that the trauma from this event has followed him throughout his entire life, and its something he struggles with daily. it could even be the reason why he said no when face asked if he could sleep easily at night. the moon beast also has some black fur around its neck, which i think is meant to represent a tire track, referencing and/or mocking the way melissa died.
its so cool how this entire part of the story builds up to and foreshadows the bomb it drops at the end of the part, giving people something to look back on. a lot of ppl say that as soon as the melissa stuff gets introduced the story goes down in quality, and i do somewhat agree with that sentiment, especially if they want the story to actually be scary, but i think the direction the story goes from this point on is so unique and cool. it does follow the whole “theres a ghost in the game” troupe (even tho it was probably seen as a spin on that originally) but it doesnt do the same cliches as so many other gaming creepypastas do and it really takes the concept and makes it its own. i just think its neat,,,
anyways im done gushing abt this story, lets get on with part 2 of extus!! basically zach has a fuckin panic attack and, after taking a few minutes to calm himself down when its over, he decides that he has to finish the game now because if he doesnt its just going to haunt him for the rest of his life. zach has now realized that the game is “alive” and can somehow see his thoughts and memories, so understandably hes pretty freaked out by it at this point. when he keeps playing, the first thing he does is check out another tv screen level. this time, the animation is of a fish dude just kinda standing there with his mouth flapping open and closed and the music is the neptune board music from the original game. the only reason i can think of for why this is here is maybe the game is mocking zach for the panic attack he just had (bc when u have a panic attack you feel like you can barely breathe, if ur lucky enough to have never had one before and u dont know) but thats abt it. its probably just a random goofy thing cosby threw in there.
anyways, the next actual level is the first labyrinth level. this time around, its a gold labyrinth specifically. the music in these levels is a slow, ominous drum beat with female vocals occasionally coming in and (basically from here on out) the monster zach plays as is now half the size it used to be. i think this shows how zachs feeling at this point, like this whole thing isnt just being a big strong monster and beating up enemies any more, he feels small and scared and helpless in the face of something potentially dangerous that he doesnt understand maybe his confusion about the game is the reason *why* theres so many labyrinth levels here in the first place. anyways im getting ahead of myself. personally, i think the aesthetic of the gold labyrinth is very similar to the green temples back on trance. while trance had a more circular and soft theme to it's architecture and sculpture, entropys is much more square or rectangle oriented. despite this, i think that the golden mazes at least are another religious kind of building, and the architecture is just different because theyre two different cultures who just happen to worship the same spiritual figure (aka melissa. did i say that earlier? i think i did,, if i didnt well the religions worship melissa, not knowing she's a dead human or anything. probably).
moving on, zach notes how the gold labyrinth would probably have been impossible to navigate as any of the other monsters, so turns out face being an asshole was a blessing in disguise after all huh? anyways this place is full of weird gold monsters, lava/fire traps, and stone faces (both in more of an easter island head style and in the regular feminine headshot weve seen so far). zach comes across two feminine heads, one that is more adult looking and pure gold, and another one that looks much younger and whos eyes have red irises and blue scleras. this statue apparently looks a lot like melissa did on the night she died, so zach leaves it pretty quickly. i *think* this is the first time we see the color blue associated with melissa? if it isnt sorry abt that, its been a couple days since i worked on ngcr so ive forgotten some of the smaller or more subtle things by now. GOD i keep getting side tracked ANYWAYS eventually zach finds a non-gold enemy and sees it get picked up by like an arcade crane claw. hes curious so he follows the claw, only to see the monster be put in a big gold cauldron and walk out the side of it as a gold monster.
gonna be honest, no idea what the hell this could mean. like? theres been no themes of corruption or good things becoming evil so far so this just kinda. exists,, yea idk lol. im not part of like any discord servers or anything so all this theorizing and analysis has just been me, maybe getting some small ideas from like random youtube comments or something, so if something ive said so far has been unanimously disagreed with somewhere i dont know about it. thats also why this isnt really a definitive or comprehensive analysis (even tho im trying to be as comprehensive as i can).
anyways zach finds the exit soon after and hes on to the next level type (there's so fucking many of them ik dont worry weve almost gotten to all of them now), the indigo cliffs. the background of these levels is similar to the blue mountains from trance, but now the moon and clouds from the toxic dump background is also here (and colored indigo to match). the music here is just a deep rumbling noise. the first “enemies” he sees here are just a bunch of multicolored little guys coming out of a hole in the ground and jumping off a cliff. were continuing the death theme yall!! anyways zach continues, flying over some more weird creatures (tho some of them just look like dinosaurs lol) before he sees a bunch more of the multicolored guys out and about but this time theyre getting grabbed by birds!! wadda heel!!! zach comments on how the multicolored dudes seem eager to die and thinks maybe the moon has something to do with it (like melissa dude wat!!!! that's crazy /s). at the end of the level there were some more multicolored dudes just walking into a creatures mouth so zach attacked the thing and killed it and the levels over yay!
now its time for the bosses babeyy!!! first zach fights battra (basically an evil moth kaiju), the music is varans theme. battra starts off in his larvae form, where he basically just fought by running into you and shooting stuff at you. while fighting this form, zach noticed that the game buffed mothra because his gamer skillz were too cringe lmaoo. he beats the larvae form and battra goes into his second form, where hes basically a stronger clone of mothra (misogyny). zach fights battra and has fun doing it (for once,, good for him) and he wins yay! next hes fighting megalon (a big beetle/bug kaiju), whos music was gigans theme. im tired when im writing this so ill just give you zachs description of how he fought: “strong, persistent, but dumb”. after this, zach checks out the last tv screen of entropy. this time, it shows a big buff guy with a sack over his head hit a womans head with a sledgehammer while shes tied to a table or something. the music for it was the password theme. i think this is probably here because red is getting angrier? like this guy is still here after i triggered his ptsd?? what the hell!!!
anyways before we get to the last boss we have one last level type to get through- the shadow labyrinth. at this point, zach starts to feel drained because no shit sherlock you just had a panic attack and youve been playing this game for fuckin several hours at this point of course youre fuckin drained. anyways zach enters the shadow labyrinth, which is a black recolor of the gold labyrinth. the music is “evil ambience” similar to unforgiving colds music but distinctly different apparently. there werent any enemies so zach just kinda wandered for a while until the lights turned off, darkening the whole screen and (secretly) spawning tons of spooky enemies thatll chase and hit mothra in the dark. eventually the lights came back on and zach started scrambling to the exit. when the lights turned back off, zach was able to find one of the melissa looking statues and stood next to it. it warded off the monsters while the lights were off, so zach was safe. i think this shows 2 things: 1) its a little more validation for my “religion in this world worships melissa” theory and 2) it foreshadows the way melissa wants to protect zach at the end of the game. zach beat the shadow labyrinth a lot faster than the gold one so were done with all the stages now!! now theres only the last boss and red and were done with entropy!
the last boss is mechagodzilla, but when zach starts the level, normal godzilla is there instead!! its whatever tho bc soon the disguise is gone and its just pretty much the normal mechagodzilla fight (but now hes got a gay beam). at about half health tho, mechagodzillas sprite breaks into pieces like gezoras did way back on earth and reforms into not-mechagodzilla. even tho it looks uncanny (and the usage of the face statue on the front is probably there to further mock zach bc melissa) zach beats it p easily and now its time for the chase. ba dum ba dum thats the sound of a chase.
as usual tho, before i get to the red chase its time to talk about entropy as a planet!! i think the best way to describe the layout is “a big forest with a toxic waste dump in it takes up half the planet while the other half is a large religious temple/labyrinth with a dangerous underbelly”. there doesnt seem to be any intelligent life there now (its all dead by now probably) but there was at some point at least because imean the huge labyrinth is there dude!!! i dont have much to say for this section tbh bc i feel like i've already said everything i wanted to, so its time for the chase ig!!
basically the chase with red here takes place in a labyrinth level bc of course it does. this labyrinth, however, seems to be made of some kind of organic matter. is it flesh? organs? nondescript viscera? idk but it's pulsating and bloody. also this time red has wings too!! anyways, basically zach avoids red throughout the maze, red breaks through one of the walls with his big alien tongue, and zach gets to the end of the maze. nothing crazy happens at the end of this chapter (i think it was crazy enough as is) so thats the end of that and now its time for the penultimate planet- extus.
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@arcann YEAH SO... lol i didnt even touch on this bc honestly it deserves its own post... it’s not my place as a white person to cast judgment on the racism but
it’s just um. Unfortunate bc even tho she apologized she just disappeared without a trace after that?? i cant judge the sincerity of the apology but she did do a portrait of disney pocahontas soon after that which in context u could say is Uhhhh. Problematique
the above is one of the last posts on her blog and tbf it does sound like she had been struggling as you can see in this earlier post, but i mean yikes.. she legit disappeared without a trace and afaik she left MANY people hanging after they paid her quite a lot of actual money
these posts have since been deleted but this was NOT the first time it had happened if you look through the notes this was a pattern
but it seems the whole thing wasn’t very well known in fandom afaik which
is just Unfortunate bc again... the least she could do here would be to hand out refunds but afaik that never happened
funny thing is even before that she talked about deleting for different reasons so ig she just got fed up and said to heck with everything n bailed
#dragon age#pheberoni#bioware#mass effect#callout#ig#arcann#i mean i really hope she is not dead lol but it is REALLY not ok to do this as a big name fan#and like#if u calculate out all the money she had to have been raking in#from commissions and brushsets and whatnot#she probably could have bought herself a house by now lmfao#ghhhh again just i dont feel its my place to judge#but i do raise my eyebrows at her behavior#and her friends which i still see very visibly#the type in fandom now#idk any personally but#its a very particular brand of Smells Fetishy irt poc#the whole cliche of being constantly like Zomgggg this person is soooooo hot#and meanwhile its the same ten zillion models or celebrities#witht the same exact features#and the same exact body types#aka acceptably '''curvy''' but Never actually fat lol#and the same acceptably eurocentric features#or the same acceptably light skin tone#etc etc#shrug emoji#pheberoni if youre reading this i hope youre okay but u really need to address this
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Okay, with KnightsEnd and the second huntress mini under my belt, let's recap on 90s Gotham so far! (also absolutely FLOORED that i'm already up to '94 at this point ;-; the 90s are flyin by)
Jean-Paul
I know i mentioned it rlly briefly, but it really rubbed me the wrong way how Jean-Paul clearly having DID was being... handled not well in terms of the narrative. There was KIND of a last minute turnaround with the last issue for the KnightsEnd arc (that i guess was supposed to absolve Jean in Bruce/the narrative's eyes? Kind of?) it just... left me feeling very hollow ig
again, mostly I stuck to Knightfall and KnightsEnd, not a whole lot of Bat!Jean in btwn except for the ones that already crossed over with some of the other characters. I dont think I'll be revisiting this period of time for Jean and I've heard it gets better for him in his upcoming solo. i was rlly endeared to his character earlier on, so im holding out hope that this was.... just an odd phase for DC editorial (which seems to be mostly the case from what I've gathered)
Renee & Steph
just stepping in very briefly here to say that Renee is getting pretty regular page time right alongside Bullock. after knightfall its made especially clear and that she's def on Team Batman™, so thats a fun seed to see planted
steph had a very very short team-up again with tim, still spurred by her dad breaking out of prison briefly. dixon is def planting those timsteph seeds and im not super thrilled by how he's choosing to go about it. but i did know that this was going to happen in advance so
clearly i am boo boo the fool *clown emoji*
Helena
uhh, she cameo'd rlly briefly in knightfall! which was cool to see!
team-up with Black Canary was nice to see, but the plot was *screams internally* (yikes). general content warning for a blatantly racist portrayal of arabian people/culture. (considering this was post-desert storm tho, i cant even say that im surprised. just tired and disappointed)
the Huntress mini was a pretty quick read, and i did kind of vibe with the art. it was mostly lineless, had a lot of style, and the shading/shadows for a lot of the scenes were really dynamic and added quite a bit to the overall tone. a nitpick that i have for it tho, is that its pretty clear that dixon didnt do his homework bc the man from helena's past who assaulted her was killed by the same man who helped train her initially. it was major point in the first solo like fjdakl;fld
otherwise, it also... feels pretty obvious to me that dixon isnt comfortable with writing for the character. her emotional state feels a little all over the place/turns on a dime, and i'll give him a LITTLE benefit of the doubt that maybe it could be the limited time that he had for the run... but something about this just... didn't quite feel like Helena to me. idk, isn't gonna be one that i see myself ever revisiting
Tim
Starting off Tim's Robin run right in the middle of the fallout of Knightfall was... an interesting choice. but one that i wont begrudge them too much.
finishing up to issue 9, tho, it feels like a pretty solid start for an on-going. Tim's voice is certainly starting to come clearer & what I def think is helping with that is having one writer mostly focused on him now.
whether or not he'll grow on me tho, remains to be seen, but I can still see why others latch onto him. he's very much still finding his footing with Bruce & with the Robin role. and ultimately, he's wish-fulfillment for the 90s comic nerd teen at this point in his character. he's trying to have it all, being the hero and getting the girl, and so far he's def falling behind in one of those regards (it seems pretty definitive that he and Ariana broke up oof), and scraping by in the other (but after the month/year he's had, i can hardly blame him on that front)
it'll be interesting to see where Tim & Jean's relationship goes now that Jean will be going back to Azrael, and while im sure there will be plenty more bumps in my reading to come, it's nice to have a slightly clearer path now that so many solos will be comprising the majority of my reading
#randy reads#90s gotham#there's like no kids here this morning fjdkals; so have my Catch-Up Thots on the readings so far
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