#but i still feel like my landscape has irreversibly changed
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Sorry actually its been long enough now I need you all to see the shit that made me have a breakdown earlier this month because it's so. Twitter furry drama is so insular and chronically online and america centric it drives me nuts. never ever draw supermarkets as furries guys its not worth it bc holy fuck
FOR THE MOST PART people were enjoying this esp british people but i genuinely lost mutuals & had people attack me for 'bootlicking corporations' and giving 'free advertising' for uh checks notes. drawing all the major british supermarkets as furries. Half the people didnt even know they were british supermarkets. so many people kept asking me to draw american supermarkets. NONE of the people like the person above were british or had any real sense of our comedy culture and how much we clown on this kind of thing anyway. it was possibly a poor choice of timing of me to coincide this with the drama around people drawing the target dog as a furry (because its...... supporting the company and free advertising, apparently.) anyway. british people on my tumblr im sure u understand how nuts this is. 'free advertising for some shitty company' im sorry ig ill just not shop anywhere for my food then lest i support a big evil company 🤷♂️ no food for me 😊 jesus christ. i cant think of a single person whod be swayed to shop at a different supermarket because some random on the internet gave it a slightly better fursona. except maybe m&s given how viscerally down bad everyone was for her.
god forbid british people joke about they supermarkets and the stereotypes surrounding them.. it was complete satire anyway in reference to all those anthro/personifications people used to do of products/companies, this isnt even my normal style!! oh but if you try to explain yourself it apparently makes it 1000x worse and makes people feel entitled to openly and directly attack you. the random ass hollow but disgusting rape and death threat i got in dms was nicer than the way people on twitter treat someone if their posts blows up. 0 compassion or thought that the person at the other end did not expect nor want this to happen.
+ the posts stats so u can see what i was up against 🧍♂️ (I locked my acc for a few days and turned off replies otherwise it would've kept going for sure) jeeesus christ
i cant even bring myself to keep reblogs on here for fear of this spreading further than this account 🧍♂️ LMAO
#i STILL dont feel the same as i used to on twitter. i cleared out as many followers who obviously just followed for that as i could#but i still feel like my landscape has irreversibly changed#the anxiety i have that people hate me & no one cares about my work anymore etc etc i dont know its. its still there#i had 400 followers when this started and gained about 500. purged about 300 of those#god. literally what is wrong with twitter#this is why i usually always stay well clear of the drama of the week bc its just so not worth it#ppl dont even gaf abt the target dog anymore its been like 2 weeks and theyve entirely moved on. what was even the point#but yeah erm. never have a post blow up on twitter dot com. its not worth it
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Los Santos - Progress Report 2022 - Part 4a: General state of the world, R̶o̶a̶d̶s̶ and philosophy (somehow)
I love this title
Guarding the City of Los Santos from the safety of Mount Chiliad
During last years work on Los Santos (which was mainly september... Okay actually I think it was only september. But hey I haven’t made that much progress in any other year!) I replaced some road textures and reworked some road layouts that already existed. When a project is stretched out in such a long time window (2016-now) you not only work in one direction (from start to finish) but you also occasionally completely rework stuff from before. In all these years from 2016 this has been the only CAW project I’ve worked on. With every year I’m learning new quirks and tricks about the game and caw. When I started out I was 15! Now I am 22 and yet I still find fun in creating this very world.
I went from 15 year old boy with social anxiety who doesn’t go to school to play videogames all day to 22 year old young man (still boy to be honest) who had an extra in a tv show, moderated the local school charity art auction and who probably goes to university this year. Point is, I have changed so much in these 7 years you can’t even compare these two people and yet this project is somehow still going and it still feels like I only recently started it.
As I have said before Los Santos has never been a done in a year kind of thing for me. I mean I could do it but I don’t want to. I don’t have the time and the nerve for that. I like how I really sink into this project for one solid month and then don’t touch it for another 11. It sounds weird but it has always been about the journey for me. I find more fun in creating Los Santos than in actually playing the game and thus there is no pressure for me to get this world out by tomorrow. Hell I don’t even know what I should do with it when I’m done. Maybe doing a second version that corrects all the irreversible mstakes I made with this one? I hope not. I would probably play in it for a week and call it a day.
I don’t know why but I have always been fascinated by this world building aspect. When I play any Sims game I always start to create a world/neighborhood/city and plan out how people live there, what they do and what It’s like to live there. This ambitious playstyle makes It really hard though to just have fun in Sims games and actually get anything done. That may be a stereotypical german trait of me. Not allowed to have fun and even turning games into work.
But it isn’t just sims games. In Minecraft It’s always the goal to create an entire landscape full of villages, fields, forests. But then in other games that are story driven and have a heavy focus on worldbuilding like Mass Effect, Bioshock or Dying Light It’s always my goal to consume as much as I can about the game and its world. I want to know every detail and really “feel the vibe” of it. Now that I think about it that’s also my goal when watching movies. Creating a world and then feeling it has probably been my goal all along.
I don’t even know what to call all that. Am I a storyteller? A creator? What jobs are for these kinds of people? Urban planning? Architect? Director? What do you call these people that always dream of crafting cities/worlds/universes? God? Megalomaniac? Oh I hope not...
Ok the topic of roads is postponed to next part...
#ts3#caw#sims 3#sims 3 caw#create a world#the sims 3#Los Santos#sims 3 los santos#los angeles sims 3#progress report#personal
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Week 12
The continuation of the work which I might call “How do I release you?”
It’s being pieced together slowly, and is completely afraid of colour at the moment.... I never know what to do with such vibrant things, they seem to already be so formed and finding a way to access it and move it around is really challenging.
The dots and lines are trying to play their own way, but I do like the areas that harmonies with the background the most. There’s a strange push and pull to creating a landscape that looks one way, but is also something else. I didn’t want anything to be settled and ready to change at any moment.
Maybe that’s what I wanted to showcase... that state of change. Being someone that knows how to live in that space of things constantly moving. It’s definitely someone that I want to build towards
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Research:
I was given this recently from a friend and found it could be apt in some ways to somehow tie into my research.
I’m finding it very similar to other various philosophical texts on witchcraft.
This section in particular... the unifying and accepting of the inner and outer states is very much the nature of witchcraft - externalising and pairing external objects and recipes with emotions and finding some semblance of connection.
I read The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath last year and this reminds me of that novel, but with The Bell Jar I feel that I highlighted the inner entirely and was questing to find that external link but was never able to.
Artist Research:
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Semester overview:
I want to spend some time in this space just going over the work I did this semester and attempt to see it with a bit more clarity....
I started my falling into a minimal space with Fallen Aurora. I wanted to focus my attention on a simple landscape setting and attach as much of myself to that space. I kept the structure of building and the terrain as simple as possible, and instead focused my attention on the flow of gradient. Narratively I kept the scene relatively minimal as well, a depiction of a person watching an aurora fallen to earth. I enjoy creating scenes that asks questions rather than answers... I prefer to live in that state of exploration and want my work to hopefully elicit that reaction in the viewer.
This minimal scene continued with “Will I die before I figure it out” ... another graphite scene that depicts a figure lost in a maze and has now accepted their surroundings as their new home. I wanted the structure again to be minimal and the figure to be almost a shadow. This piece was intended to be placed in the middle of a much much larger circle, but I ended up making an irreversible mistake in the spray painting room and destroyed it completely. It was to appear as a focal point, as if looking at it through a telescope, somewhat voyeuristically.
My practice became excited with narrative/ creating a short story in a surrealist way and how I could go about doing that. It was a really confusing and experimental project and I still haven’t defined it to one thing. Initially I wanted to draw three pieces that linked in some way that I hadn’t decided on during the initial sketching. As I continued with it it kept speaking to me - are they sisters or is it the same character that’s changing. Behind the creature in the first image is a home, and I feel like it reflects my struggle to see myself outside of the family dynamic and then the journey of individual structuring, the sword in the head being a masculine battle energy - piercing the inner sanctum of the character. The last image is afloat and looking more serene, perhaps contemplative or now more content with having fought for personal understanding. the three spaces on the bottom reflect images found in the top three- the rock being found in the third picture up above, the string from the red, and the third in black I never found. A lot of this project is still a question in my head, but I found that keeping the initial space of containing the story in a triple sketch meant I could relax more to viewing how it wanted to grow.
I didn’t know how to access the previous piece anymore. I felt like there were too many parts that didn’t know how to connect to one another and I could sense a slipping pattern in me, so I jumped out of it and creating something more illogical and automatic. This is definitely in line with my love for surrealism... I just wanted to focus on creating a space to play in. I quickly did a layer of spray paint, but then focused most of my time applying lines and dots to the scene. The minimalisation I’ve been building on felt a bit empowered here. I felt less pressure in constructive a visual when I only had to think of applying one dot and line at a time and not the image as a whole. I didn’t know what was being made and I went along with that unknown element. The pairing of positive action gave me a feeling of desire to expand... away from logic I could just enjoy.
This piece showcases what I wish to delve deeper into with the continuation of my practice. Art is my way to finally be reactive, to not heavily judge a decision, to live without being plagued by heavy thoughts. I want to celebrate life and be in it and not spend all of my time contemplating it.
Lastly I wanted to end the semester with the hope of illuminating my main desire for my practice. To develop a space where I can feel and be connected to. I can’t find that anywhere else, so I need to appreciate and respect it. I wanted to express the basic space of lines and dots again as they seem like the beginnings of a much more detailed piece. I wasn’t concerning myself with creating it to look in one way, but allowed the unformed to be much apart of the scene as the formed. A shifting landscape is what I desired to capture, one that is ever changing but vibrate and alive.
Also, side note: experimenting in colour felt so uncomfortable and weirdly difficult to navigate, but it just meant that I had to fight harder to move out of that.
Conclusion:
I got stuck a lot this semester with my practice. I didn’t know how to attach and keep myself collected on it, and that has affected my ability to explore. Through it though I have developed an understanding that I prefer - questioning and analysing after the piece has revealed itself, as opposed to killing it with overthinking even before it has stepped out of my head. I want to strengthen this process more and feel confident that it’ll be enough for the viewer/audience. I still retain my graphite drawings as I need them whenever I’m feeling uncertain. I fall into their flow and allow myself rest in that space. Ultimately though I do want to just get better at making in an automatic way and build the ability to externalise more confidently. The minimalising has given me a small room to think about all of this.
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Adventures of Santal. Chapter 2: The first meeting.
Anything bad can happen will happen.
The changes begin! While the Sabur clan is enjoying a quiet life on Ryloth, something is about to happen in the galaxy that can change not only one planet, but the whole world. And in the life of young Santal Shan, irreversible metamorphosis will soon begin. As a result, she will have to change her lifestyle and take a new path. But for what, depends only on the girl herself.
Ryloth is a harsh, rocky planet, home to the Twi'lek. It is located in the outer Ring on the Corellian way and is the beginning of the death wind corridor. There is no day-night rotation on the planet, because the rotations around its axis and around the sun are synchronized, and the planet is constantly facing the sun with one side, while the other is in darkness. The illuminated side is called "Bright lands". However, the landscape also has jungles, plateaus, valleys, and volcanoes, and the atmosphere is breathable for both Twi'lek and humans. The equator covers a forest populated by dangerous predators. Given the diverse and dangerous landscape, Twi'leks live in underground caves.
Kala'uun is a large underground city on Ryloth, located among the Five lonely mountains, one of the two capitals of the planet. Like all cities on Ryloth, it is located on the twilight terminator that separates day from night. The city is home to a major spaceport, which is the center of interplanetary trade of the Twi'lek. To protect the city from heat storms and the Twi'leks who lived in the area, the only tunnel leading to the city is blocked by a massive stone block. It is there, between the upper and lowest levels, that the sabura clan resides. Nobi and Elina. For three years now, they have been raising their adopted child, Santal, who was very attached to them.
This family once lived in another settlement, which was very far from their current home. At the very edge of the Bright lands. But then, after saving up some money, they moved. And soon the daughter of Elina's friend, Adira Shan, appeared in their lives.
They met a long time ago, when Elina was still a very young girl. Then letanka studied at a dance school, and then wanted to get a job — to perform in the theater. But it so happened that she ran into scammers who decided to sell her to a familiar gangster-Hutt. As a result, Elina was trapped, forced to dance in a revealing outfit in front of criminals and other scum of society. It is inconceivable how humiliating it was for a letanka from a simple but decent family! Fortunately, it only lasted a few months. Then Adira and Bastian were on a mission for the Order, and by chance they crossed paths with that Hutt and saw Elina chained up. And then released, freeing the girl from slavery. So we became friends. After this incident, letanka became very careful, found a husband, Nobi, and started doing housework. I forgot about my career as a dancer.
When the sabura clan learned of their friends ' deaths, they were heartbroken. Young, talented and full of strength Jedi were defeated by some mercenaries. It's just not fair! That's why they were surprised when a newborn baby was found in the rescue capsule. By establishing the trajectory, they found out that this capsule was from the exploded ship "New hope". Elina realized that the Shang dynasty was not dead. And, fearing that the villains would find out, she and her husband moved to Kala'uun.
Santal grew up cheerful, curious and good-natured. By the time she was four years old, she was a pretty girl, with features more like her mother's than her father's. Her hair was a cold brown, and her eyes were brown and honey-colored. The future beauty is simple! Elina, looking at the growing up of the foster child, sometimes cried quietly in private, because she remembered.
***
Santal couldn't sleep. Every five minutes she would jump up and look out the window at the sky, then walk around the room and lie down again. I can't sleep. She had been dreaming for two weeks. Very unusual dreams. And all terrible.
For example, how different creatures brandishing swords of different colors, mostly green and blue, were shot by some soldiers in white uniforms. Or I dreamed of her house. There was a terrible fire. My aunt and uncle are screaming for help. She tries to help and... at this moment wakes up, pulling herself out of the nightmare, not wanting to see the ending.
Once Santal tried to tell Elina, but she said it was just a nightmare, no need to worry. But she was uneasy. What if this dream is a harbinger of trouble? Adira had once mentioned the Concept of Seeing the force to her. Maybe her girl had it. But she's only three years old. Isn't it early? How could she, insensitive to The force, know that? Letanka did not fool the girl and therefore asked not to be taken seriously.
Two weeks after the first nightmare, Santal was still looking out the window, thinking. About everything. About parents, dreams and dreams. And also about how beautiful the world is. When she was older, Santal wanted to leave Ryloth and explore other planets and even make a discovery. It doesn't matter which one. In short, the plans were colossal.
Suddenly, she saw a strange white light in the distance. Santal immediately wondered what it might be. A fallen star? An asteroid? A signal for help? Or does someone just have a light on? Oh, there are even two of them. And they are declining. What is it, after all?
The girl was bursting with curiosity. Maybe we should take a look. Nothing terrible will happen if she goes out of the window at night and looks at the street. Just look. And then go home. Without stopping anywhere.
Santal climbed up on the windowsill and dropped to the ground quietly. Looking around, the girl found the lights and ran in a straight line. Especially since the lights are still on and are about to land. It was impossible to miss the chance. What if she opens something?
The white lights turned out to be the ordinary lights of a starship. But Santal didn't know that was what it was called. Having satisfied her curiosity, the girl was about to run home, when the above feeling came with a vengeance. This time, the ship itself aroused Santal's interest.
A more cautious or older child would have turned and run. But the girl really wanted to know what kind of unusual ship it was. And he seemed to her simply huge for his small stature.
Then suddenly the door opened, and out came a creature of an inhuman race with long legs and arms. Having never seen anything like it before, Santal felt both surprise, delight, and fear at the menacing appearance of the creature with its red, creepy eyes and blue skin. The man calmly walked down the ramp and closed the door. Ads: Hide
The girl moaned softly. She didn't know what to do. Follow the man or wait for him to return and explore the ship on the sly. Santal planned to do this: if the first option, then by sneaking and hiding, she would look a little and run home before they missed her. The second option: wait, and when the mysterious stranger returns, together with him, while he does not see, explore the ship. The main thing is to remain unnoticed. After a moment's thought, Santal decided to follow the man until he was completely out of sight.
For about half an hour, the girl, hiding behind objects, watched the unusual creature. I must admit, Santal really enjoyed playing spy. It was very exciting! Finally, the man brought the curious woman to the warehouse. Then she could see him better. Her skin looked more blue than blue in the light. Red eyes without pupils looked creepy. And a big hat that really fit his head without ears and nose. But what really struck Santal was the small hoses attached to her cheeks. Or pipes, it is unclear. Why would he want them? Maybe he has health problems? And I wonder how he wears it? Does it hurt? Isn't it hard? Probably not. Otherwise, I wouldn't wear it. And how does everything fit on it?
another guy with a hood on his head came up to the man in the hat. It's not even clear if it's a man or a woman.
"You're late." "Sounds like a man after all."
"I wanted to make sure I wasn't followed." Or you didn't bring your friends.
— Intelligently. Oh, well. Show me what you brought. But not here.
Inside, the ship seemed even more exciting. Long corridors, lots of rooms. The Hatter led them both into a dim room. Santal carefully hid behind the crate. Fortunately, the darkness accompanied the disguise.
"You didn't open it, did you?" "what is it?" asked the cowl — man, when the Hatter provided him with a small chest, slightly shorter than the girl, and green in color.
"I don't open anything unless I've been warned." I'm a professional! the blue — skinned man snapped.
Santal shivered and lifted her head, hoping to see what was in the box. The two began to discuss something unknown to the girl.
During the conversation, the customer opened it and fished out a rectangular object, poked with his fingers. There were some strange pictures, squiggles. The man with the big smile stared for a long time, and then laughed maliciously. Then, after examining the interior of the box, he said:
"You did a great job, bounty hunter. Any complications?
Santal did not understand: behind the heads? It turns out that someone lost their head, and this Hatter helped them find it. But this one's got a good head. And what does the pictures have to do with it? Anything else you want? Blue smiled helpfully.
— No. The money was transferred to your account. I'll contact you if I need you again. The hooded man turned and headed back.
Santal started to follow them, but suddenly she wanted to see what else was in the trunk. No time. The girl could barely keep up with the men on tiptoe. And then my eyes started to close. Sleep hunting. No! We must go home! She's already been up too long. Visiting is good, but at home is better. Wanting to get home as soon as possible, the girl revealed herself when the customer had already left. But she forgot about the Hatter! When I realized it, it was too late.
"You didn't know that, but when people spy on me, I take it personally.
Santal jumped in surprise. The blue man with the hat and the pipes was looking at her. The face might have shown some negative emotions, but the eyes... they made it seem like the man was always angry. The girl cringed in fright. Her gut told her not to look at him. The
Man sat down on his haunches, which made him seem smaller. Santal was a little emboldened and tried to justify herself:
— V-you… You are... from VIN-n-Ni-I-te. I won't tell anyone. I didn't understand him at all. The girl was on the point of bursting into tears, and she would have done so if it hadn't been for the stranger who had startled her with his appearance.
The Hunter reached out and lightly touched the girl's cheek.
She stood paralyzed with fear. I was afraid to move. A blue hand gently ran the pads of her fingers over the soft skin and lifted her chin slightly. After examining Santal, the man abruptly grabbed her by the scruff of the neck. The girl immediately began to struggle.
"What are you doing?" Let me go!
The Hatter did not react at first, but suddenly stopped abruptly and raised it at eye level.
"Did you think I was going to let you go, baby, after you found out something that didn't concern you?" You're a witness.
As the man dragged Santal down the corridor, She tried to bite him a couple of times. Going into a compartment, the hunter put the girl behind bars and locked her up. Santal tried to pull away, but where would she go? Exhausted, Santal slid to the floor and fell asleep.
She woke up, as it seemed to her, in half an hour. Then she found herself lying on a cold, hard floor. In some place in the shape of a rectangle with bars from the ceiling to the floor. The entire ceiling was streaked with the same long, cold lines. Well, she didn't know the words "cage" or "prison cell"at that time!
Santal began to slowly come to life. What happened to her? Oh Yes, she saw the lights, decided to look, the man in the hat, the conversation… Oh, my God! The girl raised her head and was horrified by what had happened overnight. This couldn't have happened! This is all unreal! She's only a three-year-old girl! She wouldn't have thought of that! This is a dream!
From fear, the girl even forgot for a while that she wanted to look at the lights. It seemed to her now that someone had been controlling her mind. But when the puzzle came together and the picture became clear, I was completely upset.
"Did you sleep well, child?" A familiar, deep, mechanical voice interrupted his thoughts.
Santal squinted in the dim light. That blue-skinned guy again.
— Not very. Look, uncle, I don't know why you brought me here, but this isn't a funny joke. Please let me go home.
The blueskin made a sympathetic face.
"I'm sorry, little girl, but you've been following me and my client. I don't like that. And you can easily tell your parents what you saw. And then they would quickly tell you where to go. He added to himself: "And I would have been put on the wanted list."
Santal shouted. "And I don't remember well!" I promise not to tell anyone! Forgive me and let me go. I won't tell anyone! There were tears in the girl's eyes.
"What's the difference?" the Hatter grinned. "You can tell it from memory, and the adults will understand.
— Yes, I... I'm a little girl! I still didn't understand. Please let me go! I want to go home! the Man took out a jar and opened it. An unpleasant smell reached the girl's nose. Santal grimaced. The man took a sip and only then answered:
— No problem. He smiled nastily. He moved closer to the girl, squatted down, and flicked her nose. "Now be a good boy and don't make any noise. It still won't help. He left, patting the child's cheek with a blue hand.
Santal was perplexed and upset at the same time. I even tried to take offense. Fail. Such an affectionate, but harmful uncle. But maybe he would let her go. I'm sure all his talk is just a joke. An adult uncle wanted to scare a little girl. But Santal sabura won't give in! She had exposed him! It won't be long before she's released. And if she gives the address, they'll take her home. Her aunt always told her to do this if she got lost: go to someone you thought you could trust and give her the address. That's it! And this blueskin didn't seem so scary to the girl anymore. Although the appearance of the baby was a little scary at first, but she quickly got used to it. The girl's spirits rose at the thought.
But at that moment, a slight shaking started. It was obvious that the ship was beginning to rise. Well, that's right! She's going home now! As soon as the uncle comes, she will give her address. And my aunt won't even know that her adopted niece was out at night. Although the girl was once warned not to go anywhere alone, not to talk to strangers, immediately run away. And don't turn your back. Except that Santal didn't remember exactly when it was. The words were somehow left in my memory. And anyway, when she saw the lights, she thought for a moment that nothing would happen if she just broke the rule once. So it happened.
And the ship rose higher and higher. Santal have sick feeling in my stomach. It became uneasy: a suspicion crept in that she would not get home. If it wasn't, the man would have already asked for her address or just dropped her off. Any minute now. And he hesitates. So... everything he said wasn't a joke! A terrible thought shot through the girl's mind. Oddly enough, in such situations, the brain of people begins to think smartly. Santal's brain was no exception: "What is it? What to do? What to do? We need to get out of here! Let me get hit, but only to get away! I'm the only one scared. Mom».
The girl curled up and wept bitterly. And why did she go? I'd be home and asleep right now. Sleeping? Sleeping?! Of course! What if she had managed to fall asleep at home and was having an amazing dream? But how do I check it? Idea! Santal closed her eyes tightly and froze for a few minutes. It is not known how much time passed, but when the girl opened her eyes, nothing changed. Same floor, iron bars.
He heard the steps. The girl started. The man with the hat came in.
"Aren't you hungry?" Almost morning.
Of course, the girl is used to having her aunt feed her Breakfast every morning. But in this situation, something told me that you can't take food from someone you just met. So she shook her head.
"I'd take another hour's NAP if I were you." We have a long way to go.
"Where to?"
The man didn't answer and started to leave. Santal felt very ill. A strange man is going to take her definitely not home, to a completely different place, and most importantly — it is unclear why.
— No! the girl screamed. "Don't! Bring me home! Please! — I wanted to cry, but for some reason I was afraid to become a laughing stock.
Her screams had no effect on her uncle, judging by the expression on his face. Instead he turned around and said with a smile:
"I'll sell it to the highest bidder, and good bye."
— No! Santal didn't know the meaning of the first word and wasn't going to find out. It was obvious that it was something evil.
And then something happened that had never happened to the girl before. Santal stretched out her arms, and some unknown force hurled the man against the wall. He slid to the floor. Sabura stared at her hands in shock. As she watched, either the blow was weak, or the blueskin was hardy, but he quickly stood up and looked at the girl strangely. She looked into his eyes and decided. Something's about to happen. Maybe he'll punish her.
"Looks like I'm getting more than I bargained for," the man said, more to himself than to Santal, who was terrified.
Three questions kept running through my mind: what would happen to her? What just happened? Suddenly , my vision began to blur, and the world around me began to turn into a mosaic. Santal felt stiff, unable to move. After a few seconds, everything was gone. The girl began to fall into an unknown abyss…
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In which the world’s balance is restored
First [ARC 1]: In which the human is transformed First [ARC 2]: In which a present is prepared Next: (N/A) Previous: In which there are three for balance
Deep within the cave that many of the torchic line called home in Scorched Plains, a crowd gathered. In the center of this room, was a large, glowing, orange crystal. Beside it, stood a blaziken and a torchic; Keahi. It was time for her, her who recently decided to be a she again instead of zie, to evolve into a combusken.
At the front of the crowd, among Keahi’s family, were her teammates and friends. Ceebee was currently absent from the group, as were the B Squadron of Team Galaxy, but Gardevoir and Damien, the latter with only slight complications getting in, were there. Keahi glanced back at them, and Nelvana waved back at her partner, everyone smiling at their friend before she turned back to look up at her father.
Within Keahi’s family, when a torchic was to become a combusken was treated as a very important moment. It was a time where a child matured, being strong enough in body and mind to decide to change forms. This was something that Keahi in particular had looked forward to immensely, but something that she had only had the chance to do now. While she listened attentively as her dad continued his speech for the ceremony, she teetered her weight from one foot to the other in brimming excitement.
When Team Galaxy had returned from their mission, evolution had been the first sign that the world’s balance had been restored. Lombre had become Ludicolo in the small gap of time between the restoration of balance and the group’s return, which was as clear a sign as any that their mission had been a success.
As they had later learned after their return, Lombre had evolved after the town had returned from an evacuation. Palkia going primal had caused a lot of destruction, and while the group had done their best in the fight to stall it, it had been quite the panicked time for those trying to live their day-to-day lives. The B Squadron had quickly made the decision as they were seeing some of the active damage and hearing word from others that Pokemon Square, being incredibly close to a cliff, was unsafe in the current disasters. They had returned once everything had settled, and when Lombre had gone to take out the water stone he had packed in his bag, he became Ludicolo, turning the previous stress of the townsfolk into a time of celebration.
Other damages had thankfully fixed either before or not long after Team Galaxy had returned themselves. There were some that were irreversible, new canyons, mountains, islands, and possibly even dungeons becoming permanent parts of the landscape, however the Trio of Creation had been able to fix most of the damage. Buildings were repaired either through manipulation of space or matter, of the slight reversal of time, and pokemon that had been teleported by random portals had been located and returned to their homes.
Which was why, now, two days after the group’s return, Team Galaxy and Keahi’s entire family were able to gather here together for Keahi’s evolution ceremony.
Blaziken still went on, however there was something about the importance of this speech, especially after everything that they had to go through to get to this moment, that captured everyone’s attention despite how long he was talking for. There was some restless movement from some of the young torchics in the crowd, but no one whispered to each other and if one were to glance at those who surrounded them, they wouldn’t find any bored faces. Though Team Galaxy had never been to a ceremony like this before, it was clear that this one was extra special.
Through Blazikens words, which were loudly projected to reach everyone, the sound of whispered “excuse me” quietly cut through what had been the silent crowd. Regardless, no one seemed to react too much to the mild interruption, at least until Ceebee flew right up beside her friends.
“How much did I miss?” Ceebee asked them quietly, respectfully not wanting to distract from the event any more than she may have already.
“Not too much, Blaziken is still giving his speech,” Alex answered, equally as quiet.
“It’s a good speech though,” Nelvana commented.
Alex nodded at his partner’s correction, silently agreeing with her. Ceebee nodded as well, letting out a sigh of relief to know that she had still arrived in time to catch the tail end of the ceremony. Keahi glanced back at the crowd again, her smile only growing bigger to see that Ceebee had arrived in time.
“How did the talk with Dialga go?” Edgar asked, unable to keep himself quiet through his curiosity.
Ceebee’s tardiness to this ceremony had come when Dialga, to everyone’s surprise, managed to get in contact with Ceebee and requested her presence. Fortunately, now for her there were plenty of shortcuts between teleporting and portals to get to Temporal Tower, so she ended up hesitantly accepting the invitation. She had missed breakfast though, unfortunately.
“It was… fine,” Ceebee answered, “I’ll talk more later; now isn’t the time,” she promised him.
Accepting this answer, Edgar nodded, turning back to watch the remainder of the ceremony.
Not long after Ceebee’s arrival, Blaziken’s speech finished. He smiled down at his daughter with immense pride, and allowed her to approach the evolution crystal. Smiling back at her father, Keahi nodded to him before looking to face the glowing gem. She paused momentarily, before stepping up to it. She leaned her forehead against it, and lifted her wings slightly to touch it as well, almost like a half-hug.
The crystal glowed even brighter, some of the glow moving across the surface of the rock and ending up where Keahi was touching it, and then moved to cover the torchic herself, enveloping her in a white glow. Under the light, her form shifted and grew, Keahi growing taller, her build shifted, wings changing into arms. After a few moments, the glow vanished from around Keahi altogether, leaving the crystal glowing just as much as before and a combusken where a torchic once stood.
The crowd burst into clapping and cheers, and Keahi smiled broadly back at everyone, tears pricking at her eyes as she smiled with giddy joy and glanced down at her hands, slowly moving her claw fingers. Turning to look back at her dad, Keahi hurried over to him. She stumbled slightly, not quite adjusted to how she moved slightly differently now, but caught herself mid-stumble with a giggle before wrapping her new arms around Blaziken in a hug, which he returned enthusiastically. When they eventually parted, Keahi looked back at the crowd again, and ran over to her team next, launching herself into a hug with her partner, who immediately returned the gesture and hugged the combusken firmly.
“How do you feel?” Nelvana asked, squeezing her partner tightly in their hug.
Keahi giggled again, “I feel great! I’m so happy!” she exclaimed.
Giving each other another tight squeeze before giving each other enough distance to look at each other but still easily be within arm’s reach, the pair looked at each other. Now as a combusken, Keahi was back to being closer to Nelvana’s height, but Nelvana still had a good extra foot in height; both because marowaks were naturally taller than combuskens, but also because Nelvana was taller than average. As Alex stepped closer as well, however, he was at equal height now to Keahi, though in this moment he appeared slightly sorted while he hunched, which he quickly corrected and stood up straighter as he saw how tall Keahi had become as a combusken.
“Do you still have my bracelet?” Keahi asked Nelvana.
“Of course, here you go!” Nelvana answered, passing over the requested item.
That morning, Keahi had requested that Nelvana bring the bracelet she had made for Keahi’s birthday with them to hold onto, so that Keahi could wear it properly as a combusken. As a torchic, she had wrapped it over her shoulder when she wanted to wear it, but now she could finally wear it around her wrist as bracelets intended.
Accepting her gift back, Keahi took the braided string bracelet and carefully tugged it over her hand to hang around her wrist. Smiling at the item, she shook her wrist around, giggling as she watched the accessory bounced slightly with the movement.
“It’s perfect!” Keahi chirped.
“I’m glad it fits,” Nelvana hummed, “I made it a bit big when you were a torchic, but I was still worried it would be too small for you as a combusken.”
“C’mon, give yourself some more credit Nel,” Alex chuckled, “you have a great eye for this sort of thing.”
“That’s some pretty good prediction skills though,” Damien pointed out, “looks great too; the cooler colors stand out well with your warm feathers.”
Keahi stuck her tongue out at the gengar playfully, “you act like you’ve never seen me wear this before!”
“I didn’t pay much attention then!” Damien retorted, but he smiled back.
From behind Keahi, the arm of Combusken, her step-brother, was slung over her shoulder as he poked his head into the group.
“Hey sis,” Combusken greeted, “and hey, Galaxy and co. Ceebee, glad you made it, we missed you at breakfast.”
“Hi Combusken!” Keahi replied, lifting her own arm to pat his. “That was a long ceremony, huh?”
“You’re the first evolution we’ve had around here in awhile,” Combusken pointed out, “I’m sure dad was really looking forward to it too; he looks super proud.”
Though already mildly aware of this, Keahi couldn’t help but beam at the latter part, “yeah?”
Combusken laughed, moving his hand to noogie his step-sister instead of leaning over her, “of course, you dork!” he teased.
Keahi laughed back at him, shoving him off of her and fixing her head feathers, which despite Combusken’s teasing actions, still only appeared mildly disturbed. Smiling back at her, Combusken stepped back to give some space, and then glanced around at the rest of the group before looking back at Keahi.
“So, I heard you all have places to be?” he questioned hesitantly, “or can we chat more?”
“Oh, right, we do…” Keahi murmured, her smile faltering ever so slightly.
Spinda had insisted on doing something for Team Galaxy to repay them, and thus the entirety of Team Galaxy, with Damien, Gardevoir, and Maurice, had made plans to stay there for the afternoon for some treats and catch up with each other more on what happened while the A Squadron had been out on their mission. Dusknoir had been, hesitantly, invited as well, but he turned down the offer. Apparently, there was something he wanted to tell them before that event though.
Keahi had been hasty to evolve after learning it was finally possible, and not wanting to shove either events to a later date, they had settled on the evolution ceremony in the morning and the team celebration in the afternoon. While this worked, it did limit the amount of time Keahi could spend just with her family. They had come earlier in the morning for breakfast to make up for the possible lost time, but that didn’t change the fact that they wouldn’t be able to linger for long after the ceremony itself.
“Yes, we already have plans to be elsewhere this afternoon, sorry about that,” Nelvana told him.
Combusken shrugged, “hey, just make sure to come back some other time, alright? I’m sure that everyone is looking for time to catch up; more than just the time we immediate family had for breakfast,” he responded, “speaking of though, if you want to head out in good time, you should probably leave before someone drags Keahi off for more conversation and congratulations,” he added.
Alex chuckled, “that is true. We should head off before someone here decides that if we’re lingering here long enough then we must have time to talk to them too,” he agreed, “it was nice chatting with you though, Combusken.”
“Yeah!” Edgar chirped, “it was really nice to see Keahi’s family.”
“Hopefully now we will have more free time, so we shall return sooner rather than later,” Tsuki added.
“Ha, we’ll see.” Combusken smirked slightly. “You guys are always super busy; we understand if you can’t come back in awhile. But hey, y’all are all always welcome. Yes, even you, Damien.”
Giving their farewells to Combusken, as well as some other family members on the group’s way out of the cave, they headed outside. The midday sun beamed down on them as they exited, still nice and warm despite them getting later into autumn by now.
Beside the mouth of the cave, Dusknoir was leaning on the outside wall where they had left him; he didn’t want to be inside with the crowds, but still came out for this trip regardless for reasons that were currently unclear to the others. As they exited the cave, however, he straightened up, moving away from the wall and facing the others. His eye scanned the group quickly, landing on Keahi. He gave her a nod.
“The evolution went well, I see. Congratulations,” he told her.
“Thank you!” Keahi hummed, eagerly accepting the comment.
A pause of silence seemed about to grow, but recognizing this, Dusknoir spoke up again.
“How did your meeting with Dialga go, Ceebee?” he asked, making eye contact with the celebi.
“Oh. It was fine,” Ceebee answered, pausing before going on. “They invited me to work with them, like how Celebi did. I turned them down. I don’t think they were too surprised though; they know I’ll always be with you guys.”
“They invited you to work with them?” Dusknoir repeated, raising a brow.
“Yeah, I think they’re still mourning. Plus, it’s… kinda supposed to be my role. So, I guess they figured they could try asking and maybe get some company,” Ceebee explained, “at least they won’t really be lonely though, they have their siblings.”
After the trio had worked together to restore the world’s balance together, there were choices to be made together, how to adjust to working together more. They had agreed to visit at least monthly, to catch up with each other and work through any problems together. Though, for the first while they had plans to meet more frequently than monthly, due to wanting to make sure they got through their adjustment period. For these early meetings as well, the trio had decided to bring along the Lake Guardians as well, as those three would have things to work through after everything as well.
Until their next meeting, however, each legendary had gone back to their own homes. Dialga went to rest, and Palkia still had more cleaning up to do in the Spacial Rift. Giratina, however, did not have a home. They had spent most of their life in the Distortion Realm, which they were in no way eager to return to anytime soon, and thus any home they had prior to their banishment was long gone.
In the end though, Giratina only had one place to go back to, to call home; Murky Cave. They had flown out to Remains Island, and while Team Galaxy had not been out there again themselves recently, they had heard that Giratina had manage to settle in alright with the village there. Not that there was terribly much doubt for them, it was clear by the tribute room that most of the townsfolk there respected the deity.
Dusknoir blinked, “I see.”
“Well, we’re glad to still have you here!” Edgar hummed, circling around the celebi a couple times. “You’re our friend and our teammate!”
Ceebee giggled, a smile returning to her face, “thank you, Edgar.”
“So, Dusknoir, what was it you wished to speak to us about before heading back?” Tsuki asked, shifting the topic of conversation with her question. “You mentioned having something you wanted to tell us here,” she added, in case he or anyone else had forgotten.
“Ah, yes, of course…” Dusknoir sighed, “I have a request to make to you all. I have done a lot of thinking, during our mission and after it, and I have come to… a lot of realizations. And I believe it would be best for me now to go off on my own. I would like to… discover myself, and I cannot do that here. There is so much more of this world to see, and much more I need to learn about it and myself. So, if I may, I would like go to out on my own.”
Alex frowned, “why are you asking us for permission?” he questioned, “won’t you just go regardless of what we say?”
“Because it is your team that placed me under house arrest. With good reason, of course. In hindsight, you acted well to handle your reasonable suspicions of me,” Dusknoir answered, “I will not leave if you do not trust me to. I understand that I have not done much to prove myself to you all. At least, not personally.”
Slowly, eyes turned towards the time travelling trio; Nelvana, Alex, and Ceebee. As the ones most directly affected by Dusknoir in their pasts, their opinions mattered the most in a case like this. Without a word from the others, it was clear that they trusted whatever verdict their three friends would give to him about this. It took a moment for any of the three of them to speak up, however, hesitating under the breath and mulling over the options. Eventually though, Ceebee exhaled and then spoke up.
“It may be best for all of us if we let you go,” she decided, “I still can’t really forgive or trust you, but I have sensed honesty in your apologies, so I’ll have to give you the benefit of the doubt that you would like to become better. And if that is true, then I think it would save all of us stress by not having you here,” she continued, “besides, and though I hate to use them to back up any of my points, this seems to be what Dialga wanted when bringing you here, for you to get a chance to live a normal life. So, I guess I’ll let you give that a go. But that’s just me. The other two, which you have certainly had more of a negative effect on, may think otherwise.”
After another small pause, Nelvana spoke next.
“I’ve already said that I’m willing to see you become better. I’m fine with that happening without me being there to witness it; frankly I think we’d all do better separated anyway. Again, I don’t forgive you either, but it causes me more trouble than anything to hate you forever,” she told Dusknoir courtly.
Alex scrunched up his muzzle, “I still hate you, but I’ve done some thinking… I think what Nel has been saying is right. You’re not worth wasting all my energy on, making me stressed all the time. I’ll never forgive you, but I’ll let you go,” he hissed, “but know that if the next time we see you it’s your face on an outlaw poster, we will be the first team going to hunt you down.”
Dusknoir’s gaze softened, “I would hope that, if I do something to warrant my face on an outlaw poster, that you would be the ones there to stop me.”
There was almost some resignation to his statement, as if he almost didn’t trust himself for that hypothetical to be a possibility. And that if it did happen… he knew that Team Galaxy would be the best ones to be able to stop him from doing anything worse.
Realizing that no one else was about to speak, and that these three statements were the complete verdict from the group, Dusknoir went on.
“Thank you all for giving me another chance. I hope that if we do meet again, it will be under more favorable circumstances than our previous encounters,” he said, “and thank you, Edgar and Damien, for listening to me and helping show me the errors of my ways,” he added.
Attention momentarily drawn to the other two ghost-types, Damien froze up, his ears flattening and his face darkening slightly, and while Edgar didn’t give off such an obvious reaction like the gengar, the light in his eye flickered momentarily, before he nodded.
“We’re glad we could help,” Edgar responded, speaking for the both of them while Damien was still too caught off guard to say much.
Dusknoir nodded back, a smile in his eye. There was another pause, uncertainty hanging over them. Eventually, with one final goodbye, Dusknoir turned around and floated away across the fields. There were no big goodbyes for him, and oddity for the team, but he was an odd case. Regardless, the tension faded as he did into the horizon, leaving only the small and very faint worry that this could have been the wrong choice in the back of everyone’s minds.
“Well, he’s gone,” Tsuki finally spoke up, letting out a sigh after her words.
Ceebee patted Alex on his shoulder, “I think we made the right choice,” she said to both him and Nelvana.
“I hope so,” Nelvana murmured, “either way, I guess we won’t know for awhile, so we’ll just hope for the best. I think… it’ll be better for us in the long run though.”
“Yeah,” Ceebee agreed, “we need some time to heal, dammit!”
Alex smiled back up at his friends, before stepping away from Ceebee’s touch, turning around to face her and Nelvana.
“Actually, speaking of… before we go home, there’s something I wanted to show Nel here, is everyone cool with that?” he asked, glancing around at the others as well.
“How long should it take?” Damien asked, answering the question with another question.
“Not too long, I don’t think. Maybe enough for if you really wanted, you could poke your heads back inside here and get some proper goodbyes from family,” Alex responded, making eye contact with Keahi directly for the second sentence.
“Oh, yeah! That sounds fine. I haven’t gotten to talk to my mom since evolving yet, I should go find her. You two go on ahead!” Keahi chirped.
Alex nodded back to her, “thanks, we’ll be back in a few.”
He looked over at Nelvana with a small smile, and she, though not knowing at all what her partner wanted to show her, nodded back to him and followed him as he led her back around the cave.
“It shouldn’t be far back here,” Alex told her.
By the vagueness to this sentence, Nelvana could tell that this was meant to be a surprise, and prying wouldn’t get her too far. However, that didn’t mean she could ask something equally vague to what she was actually about to be shown.
“Is this where you disappeared off to this morning?” she asked, referring to some time during breakfast where Alex wandered out from the cave.
Alex grinned slightly, nodding again, “yeah, this is where I went.”
Though he promised it wouldn’t take long, there still seemed to be enough distance between where they had started walking to get here, and Nelvana figured that this walk would either be silent, or she could ask something unrelated that had been on her mind and hope that they had enough time to talk about it before getting to where he wanted to take her.
“How do you feel, about letting Dusknoir go like that?”
“Oh, well…” Alex let in a sharp inhale, hissing as the air went through his gritted teeth. “I dunno. I still worry that he’ll go out there and do horrible things again. He hasn’t shown signs of lying in his apologies, but I can’t bring myself to believe him,” he said, “however… I wasn’t lying when I said that I thought you, and Ceebee, raised good points about not stressing over him forever. And…”
Alex trailed off, taking in another deep breath. Nelvana silently prompted him to go on.
“I also did some more thinking that I didn’t mention back there. I know he’s capable of showing mercy. He has never done it for us, but he did for me. Once,” Alex continued, voice growing quieter. “After he killed my parents, he left me this scar on my nose, and I fled. You already know that. But I’ve realized… there was no reason for him to do that. He very easily could have aimed for my throat instead and killed me there too. Or he could have chased me further in that forest; I was fast, but I was panicked, he easily could have snuck through the shadows and caught me. I still don’t know why he let me go like that; it went against what he worked for; he probably knew that I would vow vengeance on him. But he let me go, as a small, strange and unknown act of mercy,” he explained, “so, in a way, I guess this is my one mercy to him. He gave me a chance back then; I’ll give him a chance now. But just one.”
Nelvana nodded along to this explanation, but before she could say anything, Alex stopped walking and then spoke again.
“Here we are.”
Stopping alongside the grovyle, Nelvana took a moment to glance around at her surroundings and locate what it was that Alex wanted to show her. They were in a graveyard now, tombstones solidly stuck into the ground through the long grass that was everywhere in Scorched Plains. Just at a glimpse, Nelvana could see that most of the rocks were marked with pokemon of the torchic line; from Keahi’s family. Though squinting further back, there were some graves for other fire-type pokemon. It seemed that this was a graveyard for any families living around Scorched Plains; Keahi had mentioned before that her family weren’t the only ones in the area.
However, Alex crouched down in front of two specific gravestones, and when Nelvana crouched beside him, she found that these two were not of fire-types at all, and one was not even of pokemon. On the right, were two names, and she recognized them as being the names of Alex’s parents. He had told her them once during a moment of vulnerability and grieving; she was his sister, and he wanted her to know and remember the names of his parents too, so that their memory would live in the both of them, even if she had never met them. On the left, were five names, the names of each of Nelvana’s family members, including Achta, the purloin.
Nelvana stared at the two stones for many long moments, reading over the names over and over before eventually turning to Alex. She didn’t need to speak to ask her questions, he understood why she would be surprised.
“Blaziken set this up,” he told her, and she knew right away that he was referring to Keahi’s father. “He asked me about our families, before he knew that you no longer have amnesia and could have asked you. Still, I told him, I know it’s something he had… worried about before. And then he offered to make grave markers for them,” he explained, “I told him that he didn’t have to do that, but he insisted upon it, said we were family here too and our family deserved to be remembered. And well… I had been planning on suggesting to you that we make graves elsewhere anyway, so eventually I caved and let Blaziken set them up here.”
“That was nice of him,” Nelvana responded quietly.
“Yeah,” Alex agreed, “so… you’re okay with it then? I probably should have asked, but I hope it could make a good surprise.”
Nelvana smiled softly, “yeah, I… I’m okay with it. This is a good surprise. Thanks.”
The pair stayed there for a few more minutes, but knowing that they promised that they wouldn’t be gone long and that they could always come back here if they really wanted prompted them to get up and start heading back. The return trip was quieter than the one there, silent aside from the mention that they should bring flowers next time, but they both felt a bit lighter than when they had arrived.
As they returned to the others, they found most of them sitting and chatting right outside the cave where the pair had left them. Keahi was absent, but it seemed that everyone else thought it better to allow her some family time on her own while they waited for the other two to return. The others glanced up as the two returned, whatever they were talking about shoved aside in favor of greeting the return of their friends.
“We’re back,” Alex told them, despite everyone being well aware of this by now.
“How was your little trip?” Damien asked, twisting a handful of grass in his hands.
“It was good, thanks,” Nelvana answered.
Though there was some evident curiosity ebbing from the group, wondering what it was Alex had shown Nelvana, they figured that if the pair wanted to tell them, they would, and there was no point in asking right now.
“Should we go get Keahi then?” Tsuki asked, “she went inside to talk to family.”
“Well, unless anyone else had anything that they wanted to do here, we’re ready to head back,” Alex told her.
“I’ll go get her then!” Edgar readily offered.
Barely waiting long enough to hear approval to his offer, Edgar zoomed back inside the cave to locate their missing friend. Before long, he returned outside, Keahi right behind him.
“That didn’t take long,” Damien commented to Edgar.
“She wasn’t too hard to find!” Edgar replied.
“I stayed fairly close to the entrance so you guys would be able to find me more easily when you were ready,” Keahi added, “so, we ready to go now?”
“Sounds like it,” Gardevoir answered, nodding.
“Alright!” Keahi exclaimed, “hey, we should race home! I want to see how fast I am as a combusken now! Ready? Three, two, one, go!”
Without waiting for any confirmation to the idea of a race, Keahi sprinted off on the path towards home. Everyone else froze momentarily, caught off guard from the suddenness of it all. But despite most recovering from any surprise quickly, no one still moved right away, exchanging glances with each other instead.
“I am not running all the way back home,” Damien said, “it’s a half hour walk.”
Nelvana chuckled at him, “I’ll get her; I doubt any of us could run for that long, and some of us have an unfair flying advantage,” she said, then turning back towards the combusken and beginning to run after her. “Keahi, wait!”
At first, Keahi did not slow at the call, but she did glance back, and when seeing that Nelvana was the only one running to catch up, she slowed slightly to allow the marowak to stand beside her.
“Kea, it’s a half hour walk back to the base. No one is going to run that far, not even you,” Nelvana told her once they were close enough to carry a conversation together.
Keahi blinked, “oh, right. Sorry, I’m just really excited! And also, I feel really energetic! But yeah, a half hour race sounds a bit much. Maybe we could race once we get within eyesight of the base…?”
“Maybe. But I don’t know how much energy you’ll have by then. Remember what Alex mentioned when I evolved? You feel really full of energy now, but you also burned a lot of energy evolving. You’re going to need to rest later,” Nelvana reminded her.
“You didn’t need rest right after evolving,” Keahi pointed out.
“Yeah, but there was that moment we were all forced asleep by Ditto-Darkrai. Also, I basically fell asleep right after getting to my nest.”
“So did most of us.”
“Yeah, but it usually takes me forever to fall sleep, even if the day’s events have been exhausting. You know that.”
Keahi blinked, and then laughed, “you’re right! I can’t believe I forgot.”
Nelvana smiled, “it’s alright, you’re just excited. Besides, as you said, everyone else fell asleep pretty quickly too. You probably didn’t notice at the time.”
“Yeah…” Keahi trailed off, smile fading slightly. “Will I be awake enough for the celebration this afternoon?”
“You should be fine,” Nelvana assured her, “there will be lots of food anyway, we can reenergize you.”
“Okay! That’s good, I’d hate to be all energetic now and then fall asleep when I need to be awake!” Keahi replied, smile returning to her face. “Well, if we aren’t going to race then… there is something else I wanted to do, now that I have hands.”
Nelvana stared back at Keahi, silent questioning in her eyes at the combusken’s comment. Giggling to herself, Keahi acted instead of answering out loud, reaching out with her right hand, and grabbing Nelvana’s left hand in it, then moving her hand to intertwine their fingers.
“There!” Keahi hummed, “we can hold hands now!”
“Oh.” Nelvana smiled softly, her face feeling warm. “That was… sweeter than I expected.”
Keahi laughed again, “what were you expecting?” she questioned, only receiving a shrug in response. “Well, for other things I want to try out now that I’ve evolved… I should be able to learn more fighting-type moves, but we’ll probably have to do that tomorrow. For now, I guess we had better start actually heading back!”
Nelvana chuckled, “yeah, we should,” she said, squeezing Keahi’s hand.
The pair glanced back to where the others were, who still hadn’t moved from where they were before, staying back to allow the two to enjoy their conversation on their own. Keahi stuck her tongue out at them, and Nelvana gestured with her other hand for them to follow.
“Come on! Let’s go home!”
First [ARC 1]: In which the human is transformed First [ARC 2]: In which a present is prepared Next: (N/A) Previous: In which there are three for balance
#galaxies above#pokemon#pokemon mystery dungeon#pmd#writing#my writing#fanfiction#drawing#art#my art#digital art#team galaxy#nelvana#marowak#keahi#torchic#combusken#alex#grovyle#tsuki#absol#ceebee#celebi#edgar#duskull#damien#gengar#gardevoir#dusknoir#blaziken
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A Lasting Song
Word Count - 3,503
The Great Gem War comes to a final and brutal conclusion.
They were Winning.
They had to be.
The battle had endured for over a month at this point, Quartz and Topaz soldiers spilling out of Home World to aid the grand take over that the Diamond Authority had planned. A final Gambit to squelch the rebellious faction, and drag the Earth back under Diamond Rule. Diamond Genocide. If they did not win this game, it was all over.
Spinel tracked every Gem that was poofed, and with a small volley of units gathered up comrades before the unthinkable could happen. Pink Diamond, or just Rose Quartz now, had a firm policy against shattering foe Gems. After all, they didn’t understand what was happening, that the rebellion was a façade to relinquish destruction of a world their Diamond fell in love with. To a fault Spinel agreed, and Pearl as well – with unrestrained devotion – understood more than their comrades would, of their kind and benevolent commander. The rage and onslaught of foe Gems was understandable, though the retaliation with such an aggressive backing came as a bit of... surprise. Rose Quartz was certain. She was always so certain about these things.
So, Spinel assured that each confirmed enemy stone was bubbled, and sent back to camp. They would sort out who was who later, soldiers fell right and left. The foe Gems were in such a frenzy that they shattered first, didn’t question later – she had seen more shards produced from Jasper’s allied to the same faction than she was comfortable with.
Which was why it was important to secure Gems before the irreversible was done!
Spinel herself was poofed four or five times, but thankfully her cut was so specific that she was easily recognized by friendlies and sent off field to recover. It became more than a process of reforming and catching a Bismuth for a new weapon, Gems needed time to reconnect with their fresh form. Adjust to the violence and cycle of poof and fight. Most of the Crystal Gems were not warriors by class, but common builders, Smithers, assistants, and some like herself, entertainers. They learned to fight, to use abilities and inherit strength, and dug deep down within the light of their Gem to tap into forbidden powers. Forbidden by Home World and class restrictions.
The dust and conflict steadily shifted across the field, they were forcing units into a preferred destination. Some even about faced and retreated, the enemy’s barrage began to thin out and more pure Gem fusions crumbled. Spinel kept busy, coordinating with Gems better suited with agility, speed, and courier as opposed to brute force.
But something… felt off.
“Where is Rose Quartz!” she snapped, at any Gem carrying a star that streaked by on the field, covering distance rather than defending fellow friendlies. She was given a variety of snarky responses.
“Over there!” “Are you kidding?” “See the blitz!” “You can’t miss her!”
And it was true. How could she miss the cloud, the ravaged landscape, the direction that every other foe soldier moved in when they caught an inch on the combatants.
She had to check in with Pearl, insure that she was still intact. There was one Gem in all the battle, she knew with absolute certainty, who could not be poofed. Or more accurately, who should never be poofed.
They would lose the game.
A quad-fuzed Topaz snared a Crystal Gem fusion and wrestled the muilti-limbed warrior, the formers focus outmatching the combined attributes of a new Crystal Gem. Spinel averted her course, her weapon twirling ‘round and around her body while she built up momentum. One arm lashed out, catching a large axe buried in the soil, her arm wrenched and tightened while her fingers dug into the metal. She circled around the side of the titans brawl, tracking movement and thinking up a good one-liner.
The Cystal Gem fusion went airborne and the Topaz drew back, winding up for a devastating punch.
“HEY!” Spinel stopped and dug her heels into the soil. The Topaz snapped her head around, and smirked upon spying her. “Why don’t pick on someone YOUR OWN SIZE!”
She retracted her heels and let herself launch. Utterly flabbergasted, the Topaz spun around and put out her arms – that expression changed when Spinel barrel-rolled her body, her duel bladed staff cycling around her arrow-esque shape faster and faster, until she was a blazing drill. The real plot twist came when her zipping shape shot between the Topaz’s feet, Spinel skid across the hard soil tearing up smoke. It was a cool pose nonetheless, and the Topaz looked around, searching for the miniscule adversary.
“Syke!” Spinel indicated upward with her free arm.
The Topaz glanced up, in time to receive the full impact of the Crystal Gem fusion that plummeted earthward.
“I wasn’t the right size! See?” She stuck her thumb to her nose and wriggled her fingers, in the direction of the popped and divided Topaz soldiers. The Crystal Gem poofed each one, and dropped into her respective pieces.
One of the friendly Gems poofed, without provocation. “Jade!” The Carnelian barked, and grabbed up the green stone.
Spinel was primed to shoot off, but this trio looked far from warrior class. They all were in the same ship on the matter, but the group appeared less experienced and shook by coming undone in the midst of chaos.
“You guys better get off field. This isn’t your time to contribute to the fight, it’s your time to survive.” The Nephrite looked offended. “Look, your friend is overwhelmed. We all are, in fact. You need to take care of her, because today, I’ve seen a lot of shards.” She spun away and began a sprint, weapon slung over her shoulders. Quietly, under her breath, she added, “And I’ll probably see a lot more.”
Rose was still in the fray, somewhere. Spinel had a vague sense of where but finding the axis was the key. Was Rose at all able to abandon the battle for recuperation? Not poof and reform, but to take time out of the constant blade clashing and shield bashing. The units took turns, everyone played a part. Fusions formed and fell within hours, pure Gem fusions couldn’t grasp the concept of multilingual conversations manifesting and shrieking amid the dust. Passion for the new overcame the droned on same-old-same-old routine of pure fusions with sharp focus.
She can’t poof. She can’t poof.
Did she mean herself, Spinel? Or Rose Quartz?
“Hey you!” she bounded down a clutch of rocks, racing toward a lumbering Crystal Gem fusion she couldn’t recognize. It’s shape made no sense, but she looked sentient, and clever enough. “Launch me!”
The fusion put out a hand and Spinel plopped herself on the palm, the moment her weight settled she was flying into the stratosphere! She swept the dual blade above her head and swung it, twirled it like a blade of light on a spool of thread. Below, the shape and movement of battle took on refined focus, though it was apparent she was miles off course. Flashes of pink and brilliant sparks glint through the thick haze, the contrasting wisps unmistakable. Ah-ha!
“Now to – ” Something collided with her backside, and before she could check herself the weight dragged them down. She squealed, nearly loosing her weapon in the process. Above her arms a Morning Glory shot through the airspace and careened out of sight.
“You’re like a star in the dark sky! What were you thinking?” a familiar voice spat. Now Spinel recognized the arms laced around her middle.
“Not much, to be honest. I’m a little on a one-track mind, if you catch my drift.” They were too high up to land safely, she decided, and wound up her legs like springs to compress the fall. Garnet released her and darted away, immediately meeting fists with a Quartz soldier.
The Quartz wasn’t alone, three large Amethyst came barreling from a cloud of dust.
“Ooh, you brought friends,” Spinel cracked. She swung her blade, doing some flashy maneuvers before whipping around to meet the line-backing head on.
Poof. Poof. Poof. And POOF! Four Gems clinked to the ground. Spinel was still poised, or frozen, while Garnet dusted her gauntlets.
“Ah… need any help?”
“Bubbling them would be a good start. Spinel, I can’t help but notice you seem a bit distracted.”
“Distracted? Me!” She hurried to bubble the Gems. “Pfft, we’re in the middle of an ongoing and endless battle. How can someone be distracted? I can’t see the soldiers past the dust.” To emphasize, she coughed.
“Something on your mind?” Garnet crossed her arms.
Don’t let Saphire trace your design. Don’t let Garnet see the pathways.
“I’m worried,” she admitted.
“I know.”
“You do.” She kicked the blunt side of her blade and flipped it over her shoulder. “Home World Gems look a lot perplexed and a lot more lost. Like, I don’t know. They have a goal, but no one’s given them a word on how to achieve it.”
“As if…” Spinel hung onto Garnet’s next words, “commanders ceased relaying orders?” She whipped around, absolutely clobbering a tri-Topaz fusion. The dismayed individual Gems took mild hits, Poofed out, and bubbled out of the field. Garnet didn’t turn back, but tracked another dropship that slipped across the far fringe of the strafe.
“You put into words the feeling.” She chuckled, but the sound was void of mirth. “Yeah, we should probably check in with Rose.”
Garnet moved, and Spinel hastened to match the pace. The fuzion had a direct and simplistic method to her strategy in conflict and battle, she concluded confrontations as quick and efficiently as possible. A perfect mesh of Saphire’s calculations and Ruby’s combat prowess. If one watched from afar not knowing who Garnet was, a short-sighted evaluation might view the method as single-minded brutality. But no, it was fluid motion, and it always impressed Spinel how precise the fusion was.
On Home World, Garnet had garnered a reputation. A blasphemous fuzion and blatant insult to the court of Blue Diamond. Other foe Gems that recognized her were drawn in, eager for bragging rights of separating the first mix fusion. It would give Home World Gems no greater joy than to see the insolent Ruby and Saphire separated, permanently.
Having to confront more and more Gems in the heart of battle was such a kill joy, too.
Another dropship careened down from the atmosphere, appearing from a blip in the blackhole that preceded its sudden appearance. However, rather dump out a buttload of generic Gems, it landed. All the Home World ships that managed to evade ground fire would land, and load up with a bulk of fighters prepared – willing – to withdraw. A tactical retreat?
Spinel spent some of her energy to propel herself high enough to get a good look, but only a glimpse before she descended – and sliced out the Jasper’s that went fist to fist with Garnet.
“I don’t like this,” Spinel voiced. “I like this even less than when they’re bombarding us with weapons.”
Garnet was about to reply, but swung around knocking down a duel Ruby fusion. The soldiers were losing numbers and retreating. But it seemed too good to be true.
“I can’t see— Where did you see Rose Quartz?”
Spinel pointed her staff and watched Garnet take off. At first she didn’t follow, a few foe Gems galloped by hunting for the one that took out their friends. Spinel helped. A little. She bubbled the two Ruby’s.
“Take a rest,” she murmured, lost in thought. “When this is all over, maybe, just maybe, we’ll all be friends.”
She tore off in the direction she sent Garnet, hastily bubbling the Gems she tangled with, getting sloppy with her tactics. Once or twice, foe Gems tore past her as if afraid of something. Not Garnet, but it amused her that Gems twice the fusions size were spooked off after seeing a duel-fused Jasper pop.
Something was wrong.
Spinel stalled and turned her face skyward, peering through the clogged air unable to make heads or tales if it was dawn or dusk. The days meshed together, the fighting was never ending. And something was amiss.
“Argh!” That yelp sounded familiar, followed by the clash of weapons. It was Pearl, which meant—
“Rose!”
Where was she? “Where is she?” Spinel hollered. And where exactly was Pearl? She spun in place, searching, dashing in short sprints. This was the axis of the spinning wheel, the eye of the storm.
The unmistakable clang of a weapon hitting the resonating point of an impenetrable shield was an incriminating factor. Its sound carried, rebounding back through the clatter and barks of combat. A large helmet went whizzing by, nearly colliding with the small Gem.
“Rose!” Spinel called. The noises were moving around. As she searched the smog, she spied Pearl at last! – their Pearl – on her knees, blocking another blow from an enemy Jade. Spinel swung her body around and shot out with a long kick, knocking the foe Gem backwards.
Pearl looked battered and absolutely spent to her limits, but held her ground. She glanced over her shoulder, an expression Spinel couldn’t read in her eyes.
“Do you hear that?” she whispered. “Do you?”
Confused, Spinel squinted her eyes. She heard nothing, aside from the shouts of fellow and foe Gems meeting weapon to weapon. She did feel something was… missing, some creeping uncertainty coiling inside the core of her Gem. A resonation. An oncoming storm.
It was bright. The dust thinned out, or was it an intense ray of heat breaking through the atmosphere? She chanced another gaze upward, despite an imposing foe Gem bulldozing from the choked vapor.
No. Oh no. No-no-no. No, it couldn’t—
“Spinel!” Garnet dove from somewhere and tackled her, rolling aside as the foe Gem plowed into the soil where she stood mere moments before. “Where is she?!”
A shadow swept in from the side and caught Garnet by the shoulder, it swung around holding the fusion close.
“Pearl!” Spinel wailed. Wordlessly, Garnet aimed an arm into the murk. There was Pearl, on her back and blocking the sword that descended for her forehead. Spinel dropped her weapons and zipped her arms out, catching Pearl by the plush of her shoulders and reeled her in with enough force it nearly knocked Rose down.
Everything was so bright, so intense. Cutting through the stark haze without contest, with absolutely no mercy.
“Stay DOWN! EVERYONE!”
There was only four of them, Spinel reflected. Garnet tightened her arms around her and Pearl, and Spinel coiled her body tighter around Pearl. Looking back around Garnet’s side, she beheld Rose Quartz summoning her shield and brace it to the ground, their commander pressed herself into the concaved center. In the same instant, a radiating blaze shredded the clouds, obliterating the fog clinging tight across the brutalized landscape. It was unlike anything Spinel had ever witnessed, capable of blinding and painful to view directly. The shield hummed a strange melody of agony, as the song from the sky thrummed from beyond the charted galaxy of Pink Diamond’s doomed colony.
Rose hissed through her teeth, pressing back into Garnet. Garnet could do no better than to push back, and keep their leader from toppling as the shield pressed and buckled under the intensity. It would crack, Spinel was certain. It would crumble and they would all vaporize into stardust.
She poofed and all was silent. Dark. And the world was Gone.
What felt like ages later, she managed to reform. It wasn’t easy, but she succeeded in straightening out into a shape, and draw in something worth solidifying into. She slammed hands and knees into the dirt, a scream belting from her core. The landscape stretched as far as the eye could perceive, and was barren, void of sound and movement. Colors across the horizon slated in dreary reds and blacks, and weapons lay trapped in the soil where they fell. Abandoned and lost.
She dragged a hand to her chest and sat back, wincing with each movement. Tears dripped from her eyes. Why was she crying?
“I thought you were too.”
She looked to the one that spoke, Pearl, curled up beside a rock with her face in her hands. “They’re all gone,” she whispered.
“Who?” Spinel croaked. Though it was obvious. “What happened?”
Pearl shook her head and sat up straight. “Retaliation. We felt it. Rose… er, Rose. Felt it, I mean.” She hugged herself and shuddered.
“My Gem. It feels weird. Hurts.” Hurt was a human made term. Gems couldn’t get hurt, not really, only the Gem stone could be cracked. Humans learned the Gems language, but made new terms to describe new sensations. The best way she could describe the unsettling tingling was hurt. It buzzed and didn’t feel right at all.
“I know. We all feel it. We were safe though.” There was such emptiness in her tone.
Spinel jumped to her feet. “Rose! Garnet! Carnelian! The others! Where are—” She gaped at Pearl. “No!”
“Rose and Garnet are fine. The others, though... the others.” Her tone became soft, almost inaudible. “All gone. They’re all gone.” Pearl pressed a hand to her forehead and at last, began crying. “I thought, you too. Not Spinel, please my stars. Not her too.”
“NO! It…. That’s not fair! It’s impossible! IMPOSSIBLE! They can’t all be…. Not. Them….” She glared at Pearl, as her co-conspirator stood and walked over. Pearl looped her arms around her shoulders and tugged Spinel in close. Spinel accepted the embrace, and set her head against Pearl’s chest. “They can’t be,” she murmured. “Not everyone…. Our friends. It’s not fair. We were winning. We should have won.”
“It was Retaliation from the Diamonds,” Pearl hummed.
“What have we done?” She brought her arms up.
And shoved Pearl away. Hard. “Just WHAT have we DONE? WHAT was the point! We have nothing now! NOTHING! We’ve LOST the GAME! It was rigged against us!”
Pearl gawked, wide-eyed. “It was never a game, Spinel.”
“I KNOW!” She grabbed at her pigtails, her words cracked. “But how was I supposed to get through every minute of every single day, if I didn’t have some way to keep grounded? HOW! And now we’ve lost! We lost EVERYTHING! And for WHAT!?” She buckled to her knees, body falling into a ropey mess. She hiccupped and sobbed, like the broken toy she was.
“What was the point of fighting so hard, if this was all we were gonna get? What… why did I have to fight? I wanna go home. I just… wanna go home.”
After a few minutes, Pearl inched in closer. Spinel was still bawling, quivering, and wouldn’t look up. Pearl knelt low and, tentatively, set a hand on the Spinel’s head. “We still have each other.” Spinel flinched, and Pearl hesitated. “We have each other. And… Rose and Garnet are searching for survivors. Maybe in the caves, or the underground.”
“That’s stupid.”
“They need to check, nonetheless. Garnet… she doesn’t see if we find anyone, but we have to explore the scenarios. Maybe someone found the best hiding place.”
“I could find them,” she muttered, but it was bitter. She dragged her head up and checked their surroundings once more. “How long?”
Pearl pursed her lips. “Two. Weeks. Nearly thr—” Her arms snapped up when Spinel dropped onto her lap.
“I want to go home.”
“I think Home World believes we’re gone. Completely.”
“No,” Spinel sighed. She observed the strange patterns in the sky, as the atmosphere stitched molecules back together. “I want to go back to my Garden, with 𝐻𝑒𝓇. I want to play real games. Not this stupid war business. This was so stupid. We’re so dumb. Stars, I’m such an idiot.”
“You’re not an idiot. None of us could have predicted this. Even Garnet— ”
“Yeah, sure,” Spinel hissed. She rolled over and coiled her limbs under her body, struggling to push off the ground.
“You need more rest.” Pearl tried to pull her back down, but Spinel brushed her off.
“I’ve done enough rest. I need to be someplace less destroyed.” She scrubbed at her eyes and cheeks, but the tears still came. There was nothing to be seen across the horizon, but the derelict and orphaned weapons of once proud rebels, intermixed with armament of terrible foes avenging a fallen Leader. “What do we do now? What’s the point?”
“We start by looking for survivors. Catalog the damage done.”
“How exciting.” She was better off in her Gem. “If the rest of the planet is this level of destroyed, I’ll shoot myself into the nearest star.”
Pearl straightened up from the ground and began walking, in no particular hurry, and Spinel followed without complaint or quip. She kept her eyes set on Pearl’s heels, ignoring all the half-buried Gem stones they passed across the wasteland. It was the longest walk back to the nearest base of operations, done in excruciating silence, but they had all the time in the world. They only had time, and each other.
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ART SCHOOL | INTERVIEW WITH BUNNIE REISS
A combination of folk art, psychedelia, nature, magic, stars and animals, the artworks by LA based artist Bunnie Reiss imagines a visual language and beauty that is both narrative and full of storytelling. Bunnie’s large scale murals have been and are still popping up all over Los Angeles, so we wanted to catch up with this talented lady to find out more about how she got interested in art, the subjects and themes of her work, and what she’s got coming up the rest of the year!
Photographs courtesy of the artist | Portrait by Tod Seelie
Could you introduce yourself to everybody? I’m Bunnie Reiss, muralist, installation artist and painter, living and working in Los Angeles. My work is a combination of folk art from my eastern European background, places I’ve traveled around the world, psychedelic dreams, strange imaginary worlds, nature, magic, the stars and animals.
I’ve worked really hard to create a fairly diverse career that includes painting huge 9-story buildings, designing custom patterns for fashion icons like Isabel Marant, building large space boats that float on imaginary clouds, and writing/illustrating children’s books. It keeps me crazy busy, and I am grateful to be living such a full life.
I own a 5 acre property in Landers, just outside of Joshua Tree, where we go for breaks from crazy city life and often gather with many of my artist friends. It’s super magical and I love it out there. I also have a very small Maine Coone kitty named Robert Plant that I treat like a dog and comes everywhere with me ;)
How did you first find yourself creating art or being interested in art? I was a tiny rebel with a large imagination, and I kinda knew from the beginning that I didn’t fit in. There are no other artists in my family, and I was definitely the odd ball. Art was, like most misunderstood kids, the only thing that felt really good to me. I loved museums, fashion, weird books and storytelling. There seemed to be huge worlds that were out there, and I had zero fear in discovering them. Recently a family friend sent a package with tons of drawings and art I did for her when I was a child, and it’s amazing to see the same imagery I use now in many of the funny things I drew as a kid.
How would you describe your work to someone who perhaps is just coming across it for the very first time? What would you want that person to maybe take away from it? As I mentioned above, my work is crazy combo of different things: Eastern European folk art, nature, imaginary worlds, psychedelic landscapes, animals. I have worked hard on my own visual language, my own dictionary, and continue to do so. It is an ever expanding vocabulary that I hope will keep growing until the day I die. I always want people to feel like they have a sense of place, that they can feel good, even for just a brief moment in the day (which is actually a tall order for most people). I want people’s imagination to go crazy when they see one of my murals!
What are your favorite things to paint or draw in your works? I absolutely love painting animals. They are my top. And hands are right below that.
In your various works you often paint portraits of animals, hands, mythical creatures and the natural world. Tell us about your subjects and themes you explore in your works? I have fairly consistent imagery, but the conversations are always different. For instance, the children’s book I wrote and illustrated a few years ago, The Cosmic Child, was actually about Plato’s Cosmology and the idea that we have a twin star in the universe. It was a book about never feeling alone. I like taking my simple imagery and combining it with complicated stories. It adds a layer of honesty and vulnerability. I am currently working on a new book about climate change, that will consist of 50 animal portraits. I decided that instead of trying to explain why climate change is such an important issue, I am using the idea of irreversible loss to describe what is might feel like to loose entire species. Visual art is so interesting because you don’t often get the back-story about why someone has made what they have made, but you can usually feel the emotion behind it. That to me is really successful, thoughtful work.
When your working developing a new painting or piece, how does it begin - take us from sketchbook, to color choices, to finished painting? I an an avid sketchbook user, and I tend to try and do as many drawings as possible, with no specific direction. It take the pressure off of things having to be ‘something’ and keeps things really interesting. When I’m ready to work on a body, I look back over the sketchbooks to see if there is a connection to any of the drawings. Sometimes I go back to sketchbooks from 5 years ago! Sometimes entire sketchbooks become dedicated to one idea. This process allows for a very organic build of my paintings. I am almost always looking at animal references, old quilts and folk art, and reading about magic symbols and the universe. All of my paintings and murals come from my sketchbooks, and are often repainted over and over again in different ways or patterns. I like exploring how many times I can do a single image and make it look unique. My color palette is fairly consistent, and I will push on darker or lighter themes (navy blues vs pastels), depending on what the mood I’m working with is. I like painting on antique papers and things that already have energy living in them, and my colors will be based off of the color of the papers. Mural walls are treated similarly, where I’m often trying to preserve and enhance the architecture of the building. I generally try and tie in my murals with something local, like an animal that is native, a myth about the city, the state flower, etc. It’s really fun and usually feels like some kind of treasure map where I’m unearthing weird facts about the places I paint.
What’s a typical day in the studio for you like? And what are you currently working on in or out of the studio? I try and keep regular day hours as often as possible in my studio, because if I don’t I sorta become a vampire who stays up all night and sleeps all day. I bring Robert Plant, my kitty, with me and he’s always around when I’m working. Sometimes I have to ‘clean’ all day long in order to actually get to painting. Sometimes I have to organize and move things around, or do other weird stuff, in order to get things going. It all depends on my mood. I just wrapped a bunch of paintings for my last show at KP Projects in Los Angeles, and that particular body of work will continue for a while. It’s mostly portraits of animals that are extinct or close to extinction, and ties into my book as well. I am always working on mural concepts, and there are tons of drawings and sketches on my walls that may or may not turn into murals. I also quilt sometimes and love to sew, especially when I am not feeling very inspired to paint. Murals and other public work can be fairly demanding, and quilting helps me to recoup when I have wrapped a big project and need to take a little break from painting.
How do you unplug yourself so to speak? What do you do to center or re-focus yourself if you find yourself stressed out about deadlines, art shows, and the sort? It’s definitely challenging, especially when you live in such a wild city like Los Angeles. I am so grateful to have a property in the desert, and I will often go out there for a few days to unplug and just be in the quiet. The stars are amazing, and laying on my deck and staring up at the sky does wonders for my brain. I also love to ride my bike and will sometimes go out on night rides, which tends to help me refocus and feel like I’m back in my body. When I have time, surfing is the absolute best! Painting, especially big things, takes you out of your physical body and puts you in a deep space of meditation. You are usually on a large lift, far away from anyone, concentrating but also kinda in a trance. You don’t really feel much of anything. When you finish a large project, you feel everything come back into you, and it can be overwhelming and exhausting. It’s imparitive that you find outlets that really help you to keep going at a healthy pace without getting to rundown.
What inspires you and your art? What are things that influence what you do and what you make? My imagination keeps me really busy, but reading Popular Science, going to libraries and book stores, walking in neighborhoods that I’m unfamiliar with, and traveling to countries where I do not speak the language keep me filled with information. I love architecture and looking at buildings, I get obsessed with walls I want to paint and will sometimes drive by to visit them. Going out in nature and just listening to the trees speaking to each other is pretty amazing.
Not only do you create painting, but you have been doing large scale mural works for quite a bit. How did that start and how different is it for you compared to works on paper or canvas? What do you like about muraling and what do you find to be the most challenging part of it? I lived in the Bay Area for a long time (well over a decade) and space was always an issue. I loved painting big, but hated trying to store anything after I was finished. I would also get fairly lonely working in my studio for long hours, and liked interaction, but a very specific kinds. Public art and mural painting solved a lot of these problems. I could paint HUGE and leave it, walk away, never look at it again. It was a freedom that I loved, and the very special was to interact with people and neighborhoods. At the time, it was so unique and didn’t compare to anything I had ever done. This was a long time ago, and I still feel exactly the same way. There is no better way to understand a community, a city, a neighborhood, then painting outside and really being a part of it. And people are so happy and grateful that you are adding something beautiful to their neighborhood. I also love that murals are free for people to look at, and so many demographics are affected by the work. You never know who will see it and be inspired. It’s powerful and humbling at the same time, mostly because the work is incredibly physical. It sometimes feels like you are running a marathon, painting for 12-15 hours a day, dealing with weather and trouble-shooting all kinds of strange things that can happen with different kinds of walls. I love big boom lifts, dancing and singing when I am way up high with my headphones on. I have such a great time when I am painting a monster wall in the sun! I can’t stand painting in the cold ;)
What’s been one of your most rewarding projects? And what kind of challenges did you face and how did you overcome them? This past year I was invited by the United Nations to paint a mural in Mexico City on climate change. It was amazing! I painted at the largest market in Mexico, and it was nuts. So much going on around me, so much pollution mixed with sun blasting a huge wall for more than half the day. I loved it, but it was also pretty crazy.
Since we call this feature, Art School, what tip do you have for artists and folks interested in becoming an artist? Work hard, harder than you ever thought you could work, but also work smart. You have a very long career, and lots of time to develop your own style and really build your craft. There is no rush, and your work will be that much better if you take the time to really develop who you are as an artist. Also, ask for help. Reach out to other artists and see if they need help. Be an active community member and don’t isolate yourself too much in the studio. Have fun! Travel the world ;)
Who are some important artists, past or present, you are inspired by? Remedios Varo Johannes Vermeer Louise Bourgeois Antoni Gaudi Shel Silverstein
So we gotta ask what are your FAVORITE Vans? The Era.
What do you have planned for the coming up? What are you looking forward to starting? Mural season is in full-swing, and it’s going to get really busy, with murals everything month until the end of the year. I am working super hard on my climate change book, and putting together a few projects that will tie in with that project. (and maybe a book��tour). I continue to build up my desert property, and love that I can put energy into it slowly and really make it a life-long art project. I am working on expanding my mural practice into 3D objects, mosaics tiles, furniture and playgrounds. My murals are only one part of a much larger puzzle that I am putting together, and soon you will get to see entire worlds built by me. It’s an exciting time!!
FOLLOW BUNNIE | WEBSITE | INSTAGRAM
#Art#Vans#Vans Art#Art School#Interview#Bunnie Reiss#painting#muralist#mural#female artist#creativity#inspiration
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Reopening
a contemplation on geography.
This past Friday, Ontario entered into its initial stage of reopening. After two months of lockdown and over a year of quarantine, cities began to reawaken from their slumbers. As I took a walk prior to the sundown, the uptown buzzed with activity and patios brimmed with visitors. For a split second, a sense of Deja Vu surged within me and I stood disoriented amidst the lively street.
Without a surprise, many people were delighted at the opportunity to visit places again. Like many others, I have felt somewhat stagnant and disoriented over the past year. The limitation of physical geography felt like a metaphor for all that were imperceptible, as I grew increasingly claustrophobic in the the perimeter of activity that that confined me. //
On the day of the reopening, I found myself spontaneously in the city of Toronto, meandering through bustling streets pulsed while rushing by countless passengers. After intimacy with the suburban quietude, the magnificent architectures and the variety of individuals passing through them reawakened something in me. I remember thinking out loud while walking with someone through a familiar park lane - "When was the last time you have felt inspired and reinvigorated while standing amidst a new place?", I asked.
For me, I recall moving out from home and into my current student apartment at the beginning of May. The few kilometers of distance transported me to an entirely different part of the town. Upon embarking on a new term, I cherished the renewed momentum gathered from this change in environment.
The second most recent time occurred in March, when lockdown was temporarily lifted and in-person classes became restored for a brief while. Sitting in the spacious lecture hall for the first time since university began, I suddenly felt an almost euphoric sense of joy, touched by this glimpse of the campus lifestyle that I have often daydreamed about while still in high school.
Rewinding even further back to the previous October, I remember feeling vividly inspired by the suburban landscape upon returning to the Canadian city-town after numerous flight cancellations. I stared mesmerized into the cerulean sky, half a world away from the technicolored cityscapes that I have been immersed in for the past year.
In some ways, the shifting in my physical geography often symbolized an inhalation of fresh air for my soul. Time and time again, I am reshaped by an dimension of possibilities outside of the routines and perspectives I have been accustomed to, in the most subtle of ways. Despite how many things seemed to have stayed stationary, I could nevertheless recall quite a number of times from my recent past when that sense of reinvigoration has washed over me.
Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago on a particularly humid day, I walked along that same path when I had thought aloud. Countless cotton-like clouds adorned the spacious canvas above and the leaves gently glistened underneath the daylight. Individuals scattered across the landscape, headed in various directions and engrossed in their own worlds. Animals pranced around and laughter-filled chatters were occasionally heard. Each glance I took captured for polaroid image to be kept in one's journal, or a faded scene from an indie film. Everything appeared vivid and enlivened, the sense of renewal pulsed within me even as I treaded along my typical route. My feet were anchored upon the ground underneath me, yet my head was in the cloud, mesmerized and elsewhere. //
Upon reopening, I am looking forward to the shifting of my surrounding environment and to physically showing up to spaces again. For many, the interruption of the pandemic resembled a discontinuity in how one expected life to unfold. In subtle and irreversible ways, we have each grown from who we were before the lockdown has happened. As the world gradually reopens, I attempt to re-anchor myself upon where I currently stand, in light of the miscellaneous changes that have occurred.
I am grateful for the shifting of things in this season, for the inhalation of new hopes and potentiality for new beginnings. There are things that I am in the beginning of, things that I am in the middle of, as well as things that I have let go. There have been new strength gathered and there have been hopes that I am attempting to rediscover. As I look ahead, I will nevertheless reencounter all the strength I need along the way, tracing my way back to precisely where I need to arrive at.
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OC intro: Physicker Nicodemus Mariangely Godefroy
Nico is my Aasimar aberrant mind sorcerer whose angel’s mind was shattered by contact with the Far Realms. They currently work as a gleefully unhinged mortician.
(Piccrew link here).
I wrote this down for my own reference originally, but given my plans for this blog to be a personal creative outlet I’ll probably talk about characters a lot so if you’ve found your way to this page and you are curious about this batshit un-doctor I keep mentioning, I give you their Deal.
This is definitely a character that would be at home in an eldritch horror story. CW for gore, compulsions, and self surgery.
Once upon a time...
Nico was an accomplished physician, sought after not just for their talent with brewing innovative medicines and tinctures but also as a surgeon, as much as surgery can exist in the time period. Thanks to their inherent healing touch granted to them by their celestial blood, they were able to perform operations that would normally be far too invasive for the level of technology available. They took on two promising apprentices who they trained in basic alchemy.
The descent...
Nico had received occasional guidance via dreams from their angel since they were a child. The dreams had led them to many novel discoveries in the medical field; new applications of herbs, imaginative procedures that cured the uncurable, and more. In the winter of their 25th year, the dreams began to take on an odd flavor. Nico was guided towards invasive surgeries more and more often, even when their waking medical knowledge would make them believe there were other safer options. These urges grew, and soon the dreams shifted from rare single images or ideas to nightly vivid scenes of wild visceral possibilities. It didn’t take long before Nico struggled to perform even the most simple procedures without being tempted by the beautiful and nightmarish possibilities of their dreams. They struggled to ignore the voice in their head begging them to find out what would happen if they made various “improvements” to a patient’s natural anatomy. Waking from a particularly visceral night of dreams, Nico was forced to accept that they were not well enough to operate that day. They went to the scheduled patient’s home in the morning, intending to tell them from a distance that they had contracted an illness from a previous patient and would need to recover away from others to prevent spreading it. This was the plan; however when the patient opened his door, Nico saw the seeping, swollen wound in his abdomen. They remember pushing the injured man onto the table before eagerly digging into the wound to see what was on the other side, and felt their conscious awareness fading while they ignored his panicked and pained protests and begging for some sort of anesthetic. When they came to, it was dark outside. The man was cold and dead on the table with his entrails, bones, and muscles hideously rearranged and neatly stitched together. Half out of their mind with fear and horror, Nico set the man’s cottage ablaze and stumbled home through the dark. They quickly changed out of their bloodied clothes and stuffed a traveling pack full of essentials before fleeing the town. They’ve never returned, and their dreams continued to grow more vivid and more grotesque.
Something broke...
After fleeing the town, their dreams from their angel continued to grow more and more intensely disturbed. They soon completely lost grip on reality. Visions of nightmarish creatures, worlds with impossible physics and truths, and phantasmagorical possibility overwhelmed their previously starkly logical mind. Nico has very few memories of the years following their initial flight from their home, and what little they can remember makes them grateful for the amnesia. Their dark hair turned starkly white during this period, their skin unnaturally pale, and their eyes, always an unusually intense green, took on an unsettling yellowy lime tint that ever so slightly reflects light like a cat’s on occasion with a subtle vertically elongated pupil. They avoided looking at their reflection as much as possible, partly because these changes disturbed them when they were lucid enough to notice, and partly because seeing any twitches or movements of their muscles gave them powerful, often irresistible craving to open up their skin to watch the muscular action responsible. They performed a large amount of experimental and exploratory self surgery during this time and bear a number of scars from it, including one prominently crossing their entire face. Luckily, they kept their skilled touch with the scalpel and just enough sense to avoid doing any major or irreversible damage.
Ten years later, present day...
A decade after their initial mental break, Nico has managed to adjust to their new mental landscape. They are conscious and in control of their actions outside of occasional episodes, and no longer dread sleeping, welcoming the mind bending visions their dreams bring. Their new understanding of the nature of reality combined with their scientific mind has produced a unique form of madness- and one that they can manifest. Whether it’s through sheer power of will and belief, some sort of science or magic from beyond, or twisted channeling of their angel’s warped influence, they now have the powers to bring some of the reality of their dreams to their waking world. They didn’t recognize their powers for a while, initially assuming the phenomena they created were purely hallucinatory. They still aren’t always sure what’s real and on the material plane and what exists solely in their mind or elsewhere, but they have started to experiment with controlling this newfound power.
They’ve found employment as a mortician, applying their anatomical knowledge in a way that they can’t cause any harm to the living. They rarely get the urge to tamper with cold bodies, and when they do, they’ve developed mental strength enough that they are usually able to resist the impulse. They do their best to avoid exposing themselves to visibly ill or injured people, and generally keep their cravings for self surgery in check with piercings and other relatively harmless body modifications.
Their internal experience is incredibly intense, riddled with hallucinations that turn out to be glimpses at things beyond this plane just often enough to make them question the truth of them all. Compared to their mental state, the world tends to feel incredibly dull. Because of this, they tend to seek extreme forms of stimulation or mental numbing including substance use, risk taking, and intense sensory experiences. They also try to “spice up” the natural world and bring it closer to their own visions of reality on occasion and enjoy confusing and unsettling people, though it’s never truly malicious.
On occasion, when suddenly presented with an unwell person, Nico slips back into a fully lucid mental state, as clearheaded and logical as they were before their angel was corrupted and the nightmares began. As long as they don’t realize it’s happening and there isn’t a concentrated location of visible injury or illness, they can often successfully treat the patient. They lapse back into their post-break state afterward and don’t usually remember their moment of clarity, or if they do, they pretend that they don’t. They are aware that they weren’t always like this, and while they generally seem to revel in their condition, there are times (such as when they’re intensely sedated by intoxicants or severely wounded) that they sometimes drift into intense melancholy or clearheaded introspection.
Gameplay and other player thoughts
I’m really hoping to implement some sort of wisdom save for this character in game when they’re confronted with heavy gore or other things that would activate their obsession with looking at and “fixing” The Inside Parts. I’m not sure how I’d balance it in a way that didn’t make literally every situation involving an attack that broke skin by a player or enemy a roll, but it’s something I’d be hype to work on with the DM.
I can tell I’m going to put myself in a tight spot using spell slots out of combat/for RP for spells like spider climb and dimension door/misty step to just... walk up and down walls and go behind one tree and walk out from behind another lol. I’ve made characters before that I adore from an RP standpoint but I don’t think I’ve had one I’ve loved so much from both a gameplay and RP standpoint. I was really dreading actually making them a playable character since I tend to develop characters extensively narrative and then when the time comes to give them a class and stats it’s never a great fit. I actually hadn’t read about aberrant mind sorc until I went to pick a class for this guy, I was assuming I’d go for a Great Old One warlock for flavor even though I didn’t like the actual mechanics of locs for them. I absolutely lost my mind when I discovered it! Tasha’s couldn’t have come at a better time.
I plan on keeping the fact that they’re an aasimar a secret until a good time presents itself. Not a dramatic or heroic time, a suitably “wtf” moment. Like they pop out their wings for a silly reason very shortly after everyone topples off a cliff and Nico takes a bunch of fall damage that could have been prevented if they remembered they had wings. And yes, their middle name “Mariangely” is absolutely an on the nose “angel” pointer. I’m going to play them as a scourge subtype, and if the DM allows it, I might tweak the scourge AOE effect to be psychic damage rather than radiant or emitting darkness rather than light for Flavor since their angel is doing an absolutely piss poor job being angelic and radiant.
Anyway, that’s Nico! If someone other than me or a potential play group member read this, uh, damn, hope you enjoyed a stroll through my eldritch garden or whatever, thanks for coming by.
Bonus playlist since I was getting into Will Wood right as this character was solidifying in my head which was DEFINITELY integral to how they came out, particularly the song Dr. Sunshine is Dead.
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7fBrMVFovQhDf8AD9QMbLg?si=CManfyxCTqmGrzw8jIQxwg
#original characters#ttrpg character#dnd oc#ttrpg oc#aberrant mind sorcerer#nicodemus mariangely godefroy
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This segment features artists who have submitted their tracks/videos to She Makes Music. If you would like to be featured here then please send an e-mail to [email protected]. We look forward to hearing from you!
Zoe Blaire
Zoe Blaire is a singer-songwriter, model and teen boss. The triple-threat just released her debut single ‘Days Like These’ produced by a Grammy Award Winner and inspired by the pandemic and the new darkness that it created: Love, loss, loneliness, depression and self-image. Besides her new music launch, the 14-year old has been busy shooting national commercials and running her own beauty line. She is definitely one to watch! Listen to ‘Days Like These’ below.
Joules Rio
Joules Rio is a singer-songwriter based on the beautiful coast of Florida at Cocoa Beach. Her eclectic style has been called "retro music from the future". She creates her unique sound on bass guitar, keyboards, and with a strong but sensual vocal style. Joules Rio’s limitless style is not bound to one genre or category. Each song tells its own story. Some are rocking hard, others are dancing and shimmering. Latest single ‘I Love My Body’, is “a trap/pop/rock hybrid about the joyous human experience!” Listen below.
Joules Rio · I LOVE MY BODY
CHAMIE
Brand new Los Angeles based CHAMIE, the collaboration of husband and wife team Jes Marie and Joe Sobalo Jr, are hot out of the studio with their single, ‘Attitude’. An electropop anthem featuring driving beats, funky synthesizers, and ultra confident female vocals, ‘Attitude’ is a fresh new sound on the dance/pop music scene. CHAMIE is versatile and can shift their vibe from everything from indie pop to tropical reggae with ease and confidence. Electronic beats, fuzz bass, and rhythmic guitars are the bedrock of their music, combining with unique, eclectic synths that provide the ‘ear candy’ CHAMIE is quickly becoming known for. Listen to ‘Attitude’ below.
Stephanie Heitz
Stephanie Heitz is a singer-songwriter from the Midwest US. She released her debut EP, Dark to Light in 2019 after traveling through a very difficult season. She's been consistently releasing singles ever since as an independent artist. Stephanie has an unmistakable R&B style. Her music tells the story of personal life experiences with lyrics that are vulnerable, raw, and relatable. She's been enjoying collaborating with musicians from around the globe, and has plans to release lots of new music in 2021. Stephanie's latest single, ‘Grace’ challenges the listener to ponder a very important question. Her greatest goal with songwriting is to encourage others to know they're not alone in their struggles. Listen below.
Jamythyst
Jamythyst is a new DIY ElectroPop artist. Her music is '90s-inspired pop infused with R&B, Freestyle, and House. She is the sole writer, producer, and performer — spending days and nights creating alone in her basement studio. She has been described as "Paula Abdul meets Nine Inch Nails”. Her new single ‘Melt My Face’ is an ode to '90s dance pop — and that feeling you get when the DJ plays a song that melts your face no matter what kinda mood you're in. Listen below.
Moodbay
Moodbay are an electro-pop duo that likes to explore various sonic landscapes from vintage disco grooves, lo-fi hip-hop textures to moody layers of analogue synth. They are vocalist-songwriter Anna Stephens and producer-songwriter Alfie Cattell. Latest single ‘Psycho’ is “a tug of war between two people,”explain the duo. “It's a love-hate situation, and each feels misunderstood by the other. The theme of good and evil is apparent throughout. Yet though actions are irreversible, there's always hope for change. Someone can turn those actions around by becoming a better version of themselves. And the last thing they want is to be called 'crazy' because that would be discouraging! As the lyric goes: ‘just call me by my name’... “This is a dreamy layered synth-pop track that doesn't mess about and is brimming with emotion. The delicate piano in the verses contrast well with the thick powerful choruses that soar with interweaving vocals and synth lines. The production is warm and full-bodied but never over-bearing. Listen below.
Moodbay · Psycho
Elizabeth Karly
Elizabeth Karly has been writing poetry since she was 15 years old. When she was young she would sing constantly and dream about putting on big concerts with crowds singing back to her. During the pandemic, she finally began to work on music. “I started out with no equipment at all; just my phone and a cheap pair of earbuds,” she says. “It took me months, but I finally completed my first song: ‘Your Party’! It was recorded in the back of my car, still just using a phone and earbuds. She continues: "’Your Party’ It is a fun, indie pop song about pressures felt when confronted by toxic people, and just the lies and secrecy within unhealthy relationships.” Listen below.
Jess McAllister
The music of Exeter-based Jess McAllister spans from free-spirited, nostalgic folk, through to rhythmic, gutsy blues, rock and pop. Switching effortlessly on stage between electric guitar, banjo and piano, she blends her honey-dipped vocals and her craft of songwriting with live performances filled with spontaneity, passion and pure heart. Her new single 'The Bushiest of Beards' is a fun revenge story, stemming from when a man with a beard bullied her for a prolonged period of her life, stripping her of all self esteem. It is a song for anyone who had been made to feel unworthy, and although the anti-bullying nature of the track is deadly serious though, the song uplifts with humour and joy. Listen below.
Jess McAllister · The Bushiest Of Beards - Explicit Version
Gabrielle Ornate
Gabrielle Ornate crafts bohemian pop/rock tracks for the modern world. Ethereal lyrics with an empowered edge meet walls of epic synthesisers, adorned with riffing guitar and bass, in a kaleidoscopic sound world. Think Imogen Heap and Bat For Lashes meet Kate Bush and Joni Mitchell. Gabrielle’s debut single, ‘The March of the Caterpillars’, mastered by John Davis at Metropolis Studios, is a fable about respecting one’s roots; blossoming the connection between worlds. As life continually evolves, like how a caterpillar transitions into a butterfly, one must not forget the genesis of their journey. Listen below.
Gabrielle Ornate · The March of the Caterpillars
Pretty Preachers Club
Pretty Preachers Club are a bedroom-pop-style emerging duo from Glasgow. Their debut EP Going Nowhere Fast was well received. Their second EP Romance and Adolescence is an experimental step up from their previous releases, a compilation of classical, indie pop, folk and 80s synth. The pair have previously stated in a number of interviews that their main influences are indie artists such as Pheobe Bridgers, Beabadoobee, LANY, Pale Waves, The 1975 and Sports Team. ‘Just Tell People How You Feel’ is their new single. Hannah says of the release: “The lyrics in this song are almost a dream-like scenario of ideal love. It’s a reminder to myself to try and not hold your feelings back, cause what’s the point? It’s almost a goal to myself to fully be able to relate to every lyric in this song... not quite there yet.” Listen below.
#submission saturday#zoe blaire#joules rio#chamie#stephanie heitz#jamythyst#moodbay#elizabeth karly#jess mcallister#gabrielle ornate#pretty preachers club
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Dispatches From Food Service Workers Across the U.S.: ‘I’m Trying Not to Panic’
Shutterstock/Kondor83
Restaurant employees from Kentucky, North Dakota, New York, Oregon, and Minnesota share their stories
Last week, President Trump formed the Economic Revival Industry Group, a collection of 200 experts and industry leaders to inform the (possibly ill-advised) campaign to re-open the economy. The group, focused on restaurants, included numerous chain CEOs and celebrity chef-owners like Wolfgang Puck and Thomas Keller. And though the latter could hardly be expected to advocate for the needs of restaurant owners whose restaurants don’t have Michelin stars, there is another group notably absent from the committee: restaurant workers.
Independent restaurant owners are struggling with the realities and uncertainties of life in a pandemic, whether it’s having to lay off employees or trying to keep people paid as the business pivots to take-out only. But for your average food service worker — servers, bartenders, line cooks, and baristas — there is even less support. Restaurant employees made up 60 percent of the jobs lost in March. Twenty-two million people filed for unemployment in the past four weeks, leaving unemployment websites overwhelmed. The Paycheck Protection Program, which offers federal loans in exchange for keeping employees on payroll, is out of money. All this adds up to millions of food service workers being left without a paycheck.
Despite Trump’s plans, no one knows what the restaurant industry is going to look like on the other side of the pandemic. And so workers wait, hoping their restaurants will reopen, hoping they or their coworkers will be rehired, hoping there will be a workplace to come back to. As chains and fine-dining chefs are the only ones with access to the White House, it’s important to remember their experiences do not represent the restaurant industry as a whole. Whether or not restaurant workers, not merely restaurateurs, feel supported will be the true test of any government program’s success. With that in mind, we spoke to five restaurant workers across the country on what they’re experiencing right now. These are stories in their own words, edited lightly for clarity.
Gregg Adams, line cook at J Harrods, Louisville, Kentucky
The chef and I are the only kitchen staff left of four full-time and two part-timers. He takes a salary, I am on reduced hours, which means less money to repair the house and cars, much less save anything. Since this began we have been steadily losing customers. Our food isn’t geared for takeout, though we changed the menu some. Also, we made a lot of our money through drinks. Initially, the state only allowed the sale of closed alcohol containers, and some restaurants started selling flight bottles and half pints with soda or cup mixer on the side. Within a week, open alcohol sales were allowed rather than just packaged liquor, but it was too late for those who followed the rules.
I’m hanging in there, but I’m lucky. Not much has changed for me and my family. My wife is on medical disability with fixed income and doesn’t leave the house much. My teenager already practiced social distancing. My 26-year-old is working 60 hours a week at a local coffee chain. My 25-year-old works for UPS. I’m blessed to have employment. I know three other cooks and two chefs who are unemployed. But I can’t plan anything for anything now. I’m wondering about my concert tickets and my child’s education if my older children will get sick, and what my options are in general. I’m trying to not panic.
Massoud Violette-Sheikh, sous chef at the Heights, Ithaca, New York
I am 23 years old and have been working in the industry for five years, starting as a dishwasher at the Heights. My start in the industry was mainly out of necessity — dishwashing offered good hours and the possibility of upward mobility in the restaurant. But the work ethic and our local food community was contagious; I wouldn’t want to be in any other industry, even in these times. I rose to sous this past year. In an area where we are financially dependent on Ithaca College and Cornell as our main contributors to economic stimulation, this has train-wrecked the local economy.
At the Heights, all staff with the exception of our chef de cuisine have been temporarily let go. I think the post-pandemic dining landscape is going to be entirely different — staff cuts, wage cuts, and mandatory seating reduction will absolutely affect how we are able to eat. Even the most luxurious restaurants will have to cut back on menus, garnishes, and available reservations. I’m hopeful that diners will come out in droves after restaurants open up, but realistically that’s not likely. The social habits that we develop will linger. I spend a lot of time talking with my close friends and coworkers. Everyone just wants to be back in the kitchen — to be back home. As an individual I’m grateful for private grants such as the Restaurant Employee Relief Fund — programs like that are going to be our saviors. But our primary concern is how long our local independent restaurants, farms, and purveyors will be able to stay open. The debt to equity ratio in our industry is very high, and I expect to see places sink into irreversible debt. I hope customers will be patient as we get back on our feet; without their support, all that will be left is Chili’s and McDonald’s.
Marlena Chaboudy, cook at A Frame Bar & Grill, Westhope, North Dakota
Busy season is the beginning of spring through the end of summer. We are situated on Lake Metigoshe, and when the snow melts people start moving in their boats and readying their docks to enjoy their summer. We were all gearing up for that when the spread of the virus hit hard and hours were cut. Our place was then shut down for dine-in service and we tried to stay positive. I found out the secret was really not to make eye contact, because if I saw one of us start to tear up, it opened the floodgates for me.
I’m behind in rent, my vehicle is in need of a few repairs. I had planned on moving closer to work — I live about 40 miles away — and found a place, but will have to come by money for the utility and house deposits and rent in order to do so. My fiancé and I live together, and he also works at the A-Frame as a dishwasher. He has filed for unemployment but has a limited work history and hasn’t paid in enough in the quarters to draw unemployment. And he won’t get the one-sum stimulus check either, and that’s going to hurt. Living in a rural community, you can’t count on anything for relief. You can’t count on the small town store to get a delivery truck, or go to the store the same day and be able to buy a roll of toilet paper or a dozen eggs. I can’t guarantee that my internet will be functional much less my phone service, and trying to even access the unemployment website can take all day. You go to the gas station for a treat and you never know if they are open because if they haven’t had enough business that day to justify keeping the lights on, or paying an employee to sit there, they close early.
I don’t think the aid the government is giving is enough. Not at all! It’s getting bad everywhere. The people in the foodservice industry are the “blue collar” workers that everyone forgets about. We are not paid as much as the blue collar norm and making ends meet isn’t looking possible for most.
Rae Bullinger, former front of house at Rise Bagels, Minneapolis
We closed our dining room around March 16th, but kept our online and takeout phone ordering systems the same. After closing the dining room, it was fairly slow that first week, but we kept advertising the online and pick-up ordering and by the weekend our system just couldn’t keep up. On my weekend shift, we were so overwhelmed with online orders overnight that we actually had to turn the first customers away, because we were still trying to catch up with the online orders. The next day is when the owners decided to temporarily close. Before coronavirus, we had a good sense of how many bagels we needed each day of the week to fill our normal amount of orders. Once we started advertising more about online and phone ordering mid-March, our demand shifted to a point we couldn’t have predicted.
Before I started my job at Rise Bagel, I was a graduate student in the psychology field. I had to take a leave of absence in October due to an inpatient stay for my mental health, and decided to put school on pause and pursue a new career in food sustainability. I thought getting my foot in the door at a local restaurant that focuses on local, organic ingredients and sustainable practices would provide me with some great insight. The job finally gave me a sense of purpose and control when I hadn’t had that in a long time. However, when we suddenly had to close, it was like my sense of purpose also disappeared. My job was the one thing that kept me feeling certain about my future. Uncertainty about my future at Rise has led to an increase in my anxiety around leaving school and my future career. I have many fears of having to start all over again, and it’s hard to stay motivated when I can’t gain restaurant experience from my home.
Here in Minnesota, individual unemployment benefits are only given if you had made $3,000 or more before unemployment. Because I was in graduate school and had only been at my job at Rise for a few months, I did not meet this requirement and will not be receiving any unemployment benefits. For those making minimum wage (aka many of those in the food service industry), prerequisites like this may have some major impacts. I’m incredibly thankful to be living at home during this time with great support, but I couldn’t imagine being in a more dire situation and then denied benefits based on something I may not have had control over. I’m really glad something is being done for small business owners, but what really matters is what happens after this. A restaurant will only survive if better legislation is passed and people continue to visit even after social distancing orders are lifted. The attention and support food service employees and places are getting right now is amazing, but systematic change needs to occur for them to continue to survive.
Ashton Long, bartender, Portland, Oregon
We were all in an especially odd situation because we had just all been through training and had opened the restaurant, Bar King, to the public Monday, March 9th. Our restaurant closed down to the public on March 15th and began only providing takeout orders. Luckily, right now it is looking like we’ll be opening back up and all have our jobs back, but when? I don’t think anyone has even a clue. And that is terrifying.
My partner and I moved here in early January of this year. Luckily, he works from home, but I set out to find a job as soon as I got here, and even with my experience and my resume, it took me nearly two months to find something because of how competitive the service industry staffing is in Portland. I exhausted nearly all of my savings and threw all of my faith into the fact that I’d find a job when I got here, and then I worked for literally two weeks and then lost my job. I don’t remember a time in my life where I didn’t have two jobs and work anywhere from 40 to 70 hours a week, so having this much free time, and on such an incredibly STRICT budget of one income, has been extremely challenging to fill.
While I think the stimulus money is great, and quite literally a life saver for many — including me — unemployment has been a literal shit show and a nightmare to deal with. I still have yet to see any benefits or correspondence from either Michigan or Oregon to figure out what I need to do in this situation where I lived and worked in Michigan last year and Oregon now. While I do understand that having 2.2 MILLION people sign up for unemployment in the last month is overwhelming, if it weren’t for the stimulus check and my partner, I could very well be on my way back to Michigan right now to live with family. And as a 25-year-old who has never had to consider an option like that because I’ve always had work and savings, that is a horrifying and scary scenario.
If you’re a food service worker, Eater wants to hear your story. Please fill out this survey.
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Restaurant employees from Kentucky, North Dakota, New York, Oregon, and Minnesota share their stories
Last week, President Trump formed the Economic Revival Industry Group, a collection of 200 experts and industry leaders to inform the (possibly ill-advised) campaign to re-open the economy. The group, focused on restaurants, included numerous chain CEOs and celebrity chef-owners like Wolfgang Puck and Thomas Keller. And though the latter could hardly be expected to advocate for the needs of restaurant owners whose restaurants don’t have Michelin stars, there is another group notably absent from the committee: restaurant workers.
Independent restaurant owners are struggling with the realities and uncertainties of life in a pandemic, whether it’s having to lay off employees or trying to keep people paid as the business pivots to take-out only. But for your average food service worker — servers, bartenders, line cooks, and baristas — there is even less support. Restaurant employees made up 60 percent of the jobs lost in March. Twenty-two million people filed for unemployment in the past four weeks, leaving unemployment websites overwhelmed. The Paycheck Protection Program, which offers federal loans in exchange for keeping employees on payroll, is out of money. All this adds up to millions of food service workers being left without a paycheck.
Despite Trump’s plans, no one knows what the restaurant industry is going to look like on the other side of the pandemic. And so workers wait, hoping their restaurants will reopen, hoping they or their coworkers will be rehired, hoping there will be a workplace to come back to. As chains and fine-dining chefs are the only ones with access to the White House, it’s important to remember their experiences do not represent the restaurant industry as a whole. Whether or not restaurant workers, not merely restaurateurs, feel supported will be the true test of any government program’s success. With that in mind, we spoke to five restaurant workers across the country on what they’re experiencing right now. These are stories in their own words, edited lightly for clarity.
Gregg Adams, line cook at J Harrods, Louisville, Kentucky
The chef and I are the only kitchen staff left of four full-time and two part-timers. He takes a salary, I am on reduced hours, which means less money to repair the house and cars, much less save anything. Since this began we have been steadily losing customers. Our food isn’t geared for takeout, though we changed the menu some. Also, we made a lot of our money through drinks. Initially, the state only allowed the sale of closed alcohol containers, and some restaurants started selling flight bottles and half pints with soda or cup mixer on the side. Within a week, open alcohol sales were allowed rather than just packaged liquor, but it was too late for those who followed the rules.
I’m hanging in there, but I’m lucky. Not much has changed for me and my family. My wife is on medical disability with fixed income and doesn’t leave the house much. My teenager already practiced social distancing. My 26-year-old is working 60 hours a week at a local coffee chain. My 25-year-old works for UPS. I’m blessed to have employment. I know three other cooks and two chefs who are unemployed. But I can’t plan anything for anything now. I’m wondering about my concert tickets and my child’s education if my older children will get sick, and what my options are in general. I’m trying to not panic.
Massoud Violette-Sheikh, sous chef at the Heights, Ithaca, New York
I am 23 years old and have been working in the industry for five years, starting as a dishwasher at the Heights. My start in the industry was mainly out of necessity — dishwashing offered good hours and the possibility of upward mobility in the restaurant. But the work ethic and our local food community was contagious; I wouldn’t want to be in any other industry, even in these times. I rose to sous this past year. In an area where we are financially dependent on Ithaca College and Cornell as our main contributors to economic stimulation, this has train-wrecked the local economy.
At the Heights, all staff with the exception of our chef de cuisine have been temporarily let go. I think the post-pandemic dining landscape is going to be entirely different — staff cuts, wage cuts, and mandatory seating reduction will absolutely affect how we are able to eat. Even the most luxurious restaurants will have to cut back on menus, garnishes, and available reservations. I’m hopeful that diners will come out in droves after restaurants open up, but realistically that’s not likely. The social habits that we develop will linger. I spend a lot of time talking with my close friends and coworkers. Everyone just wants to be back in the kitchen — to be back home. As an individual I’m grateful for private grants such as the Restaurant Employee Relief Fund — programs like that are going to be our saviors. But our primary concern is how long our local independent restaurants, farms, and purveyors will be able to stay open. The debt to equity ratio in our industry is very high, and I expect to see places sink into irreversible debt. I hope customers will be patient as we get back on our feet; without their support, all that will be left is Chili’s and McDonald’s.
Marlena Chaboudy, cook at A Frame Bar & Grill, Westhope, North Dakota
Busy season is the beginning of spring through the end of summer. We are situated on Lake Metigoshe, and when the snow melts people start moving in their boats and readying their docks to enjoy their summer. We were all gearing up for that when the spread of the virus hit hard and hours were cut. Our place was then shut down for dine-in service and we tried to stay positive. I found out the secret was really not to make eye contact, because if I saw one of us start to tear up, it opened the floodgates for me.
I’m behind in rent, my vehicle is in need of a few repairs. I had planned on moving closer to work — I live about 40 miles away — and found a place, but will have to come by money for the utility and house deposits and rent in order to do so. My fiancé and I live together, and he also works at the A-Frame as a dishwasher. He has filed for unemployment but has a limited work history and hasn’t paid in enough in the quarters to draw unemployment. And he won’t get the one-sum stimulus check either, and that’s going to hurt. Living in a rural community, you can’t count on anything for relief. You can’t count on the small town store to get a delivery truck, or go to the store the same day and be able to buy a roll of toilet paper or a dozen eggs. I can’t guarantee that my internet will be functional much less my phone service, and trying to even access the unemployment website can take all day. You go to the gas station for a treat and you never know if they are open because if they haven’t had enough business that day to justify keeping the lights on, or paying an employee to sit there, they close early.
I don’t think the aid the government is giving is enough. Not at all! It’s getting bad everywhere. The people in the foodservice industry are the “blue collar” workers that everyone forgets about. We are not paid as much as the blue collar norm and making ends meet isn’t looking possible for most.
Rae Bullinger, former front of house at Rise Bagels, Minneapolis
We closed our dining room around March 16th, but kept our online and takeout phone ordering systems the same. After closing the dining room, it was fairly slow that first week, but we kept advertising the online and pick-up ordering and by the weekend our system just couldn’t keep up. On my weekend shift, we were so overwhelmed with online orders overnight that we actually had to turn the first customers away, because we were still trying to catch up with the online orders. The next day is when the owners decided to temporarily close. Before coronavirus, we had a good sense of how many bagels we needed each day of the week to fill our normal amount of orders. Once we started advertising more about online and phone ordering mid-March, our demand shifted to a point we couldn’t have predicted.
Before I started my job at Rise Bagel, I was a graduate student in the psychology field. I had to take a leave of absence in October due to an inpatient stay for my mental health, and decided to put school on pause and pursue a new career in food sustainability. I thought getting my foot in the door at a local restaurant that focuses on local, organic ingredients and sustainable practices would provide me with some great insight. The job finally gave me a sense of purpose and control when I hadn’t had that in a long time. However, when we suddenly had to close, it was like my sense of purpose also disappeared. My job was the one thing that kept me feeling certain about my future. Uncertainty about my future at Rise has led to an increase in my anxiety around leaving school and my future career. I have many fears of having to start all over again, and it’s hard to stay motivated when I can’t gain restaurant experience from my home.
Here in Minnesota, individual unemployment benefits are only given if you had made $3,000 or more before unemployment. Because I was in graduate school and had only been at my job at Rise for a few months, I did not meet this requirement and will not be receiving any unemployment benefits. For those making minimum wage (aka many of those in the food service industry), prerequisites like this may have some major impacts. I’m incredibly thankful to be living at home during this time with great support, but I couldn’t imagine being in a more dire situation and then denied benefits based on something I may not have had control over. I’m really glad something is being done for small business owners, but what really matters is what happens after this. A restaurant will only survive if better legislation is passed and people continue to visit even after social distancing orders are lifted. The attention and support food service employees and places are getting right now is amazing, but systematic change needs to occur for them to continue to survive.
Ashton Long, bartender, Portland, Oregon
We were all in an especially odd situation because we had just all been through training and had opened the restaurant, Bar King, to the public Monday, March 9th. Our restaurant closed down to the public on March 15th and began only providing takeout orders. Luckily, right now it is looking like we’ll be opening back up and all have our jobs back, but when? I don’t think anyone has even a clue. And that is terrifying.
My partner and I moved here in early January of this year. Luckily, he works from home, but I set out to find a job as soon as I got here, and even with my experience and my resume, it took me nearly two months to find something because of how competitive the service industry staffing is in Portland. I exhausted nearly all of my savings and threw all of my faith into the fact that I’d find a job when I got here, and then I worked for literally two weeks and then lost my job. I don’t remember a time in my life where I didn’t have two jobs and work anywhere from 40 to 70 hours a week, so having this much free time, and on such an incredibly STRICT budget of one income, has been extremely challenging to fill.
While I think the stimulus money is great, and quite literally a life saver for many — including me — unemployment has been a literal shit show and a nightmare to deal with. I still have yet to see any benefits or correspondence from either Michigan or Oregon to figure out what I need to do in this situation where I lived and worked in Michigan last year and Oregon now. While I do understand that having 2.2 MILLION people sign up for unemployment in the last month is overwhelming, if it weren’t for the stimulus check and my partner, I could very well be on my way back to Michigan right now to live with family. And as a 25-year-old who has never had to consider an option like that because I’ve always had work and savings, that is a horrifying and scary scenario.
If you’re a food service worker, Eater wants to hear your story. Please fill out this survey.
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Proposal
My work is landscape based usually, focusing on nature and wildlife in ways to try and raise awareness of the environmental issues caused by humans. This is something that is very important to me, and I feel should be important to everyone considering the current state of climate change, with it reaching the point of being irreversible. Throughout my lifetime, pollution and climate change have continued to increase to dangerous levels and I personally fear not enough is being done by humans on a single person basis. Bigger companies have, in recent years, made changes towards improving their environmental impact, such as supermarkets rules regarding plastic shopping bags, and produce companies with reducing the amount of unnecessary packaging on their products. I also try to produce work that shows off the landscape around us, as a way of trying to raise awareness of what we risk losing if we don’t make changes and make a stronger effort to preserve the beauty of the world around us.
This project will show the beauty of the Mendip Hills (Image left) and surrounding areas, to raise awareness of the need for conservation of such areas for the future so they can still be enjoyed in years to come. This is an area that is particularly meaningful to me as it is a place I have been going to since I was a child as it is local to my home in the Chew Valley. I will be taking photographs that have an emotional impact, that make the viewer feel something from the sense of grandeur that these locations have. As I want these images to have the feeling of being in the landscape they show, they will only be lightly edited in photoshop to enhance the colours etc to make it feel more real. I have been and will continue to investigate landscape work produced by photographers that makes you feel as if you are within the landscape pictured, not just looking at it in a photograph. To do this I will continue looking at the Landscape Photographer of the Year awards back catalogue, as well as the work of photographers such as Robert Darch who is able to really bring the world within his images to life and make you feel like you’re part of it.
I will be producing a series of large-scale prints, that are big enough to make it feel as if you are standing in the image, not just looking into it through a photograph. To do this I will have to use equipment from the ERC within college to allow me to blow up my images to this size with out losing resolution quality as there is a risk of my images becoming pixelated if they are over enlarged. I will probably use a full frame camera to allow for a better resolution of the images, or perhaps use the Hasselblad Phase One camera as it has a very high resolution that would enable me to produce the large sized prints I am hoping to have as part of my end result.
I will also be looking into the various ways I would be able to print these images, as ideally, I would want them to be as flush to the wall as possible with out any form of framing, with them being as close to life sized as possible. To achieve this, I am planning to look into wallpaper style printing methods that I can then paste onto the boards to get the effect of being within the image. I do not yet know how much this is likely to cost as I am unsure of exactly what method I will be using, so this is something that is important for me to find out early on in the projects schedule to allow for budgeting to ensure I will be able to afford to print and display in the way I am wanting to.
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THE CULT TO PERFORM SELECT DATES IN NORTH AMERICA AND THE UK IN RECOGNITION OF THE FORTHCOMING REISSUE OF THE BAND'S PIVOTAL ALBUM 'SONIC TEMPLE'
In recognition of the forthcoming re-issue of THE CULT's multi-platinum-selling Sonic Temple album on Beggars Banquet Records, the British group that's led by Ian Astbury and guitarist Billy Duffy will embark on select dates in North America and the UK starting May 2 in Houston, TX (itinerary below). Tickets are on sale now for the "A Sonic Temple" tour and available here.
Meanwhile, the band expects to announce another block of dates very soon for2019/2020. The set list will draw from THE CULT's 10 studio albums with the centerpiece being a superset that's focused on the core songs from Sonic Temple; some of these songs have not been performed since the album (their fourth) was originally released in 1989. Sonic Temple--a pivotal, game-changing album that brought together the alternative and hard rock audiences--will be reissued in a 30th-anniversary edition by Beggars Banquet Records (exact release date TBA). Sonic Temple features the singles "Fire Woman," "Edie (Ciao Baby)," "Sweet Soul Sister" and "Sun King." Read a new Q&A with Astbury and Duffy below. Each show will be a gathering and celebration for Cult fans--an opportunity to come together for one night--an event that will be memorable for all who attend. In Los Angeles only, where Astbury and Duffy live, the band has created something extra special. The Greek Theatre will become "A Sonic Temple" on June 15 with a diverse multi-act bill that has roots in THE CULTlead singer Ian Astbury's pioneering pre-Lollapalooza festival "A Gathering of the Tribes" (1990).Prayers, Zola Jesus and Vowws will join headliners THE CULT. Read the press release here. Q&A WITH IAN ASTBURY AND BILLY DUFFY(April 2019)
Q&A WITH IAN ASTBURY AND BILLY DUFFY: IAN ASTBURY: What was your mindset as a musician and as a person when you began to write the songs for the album? IA: We decamped from London to Los Angeles for a break in early '88, 87 had been particularly intense with The Electric album being released and touring. London had become difficult to live in for various reasons even walking the streets was challenging at times, I was receiving unwelcome attention from the way I looked I received a lot of unwanted attention. L.A. was a mystical paradise. I was drawn by myths that surrounded the canyons and hills of the city and the vibrant music film and art scene. Eventually, we began to feel more comfortable during this extended stay and soon fell into writing songs. We then went to Vancouver to spend time with Bob Rock in pre-production. He was the anchor and had a vision of what the band should sound like. I was traveling further inward. My instinct was to create a cinematic album that contained visceral landscapes, nuanced and textured. We certainly felt it was time for the next evolutionary step. 'Sonic Temple' is one of the few albums that brought together the divergent hard rock and alternative audiences. Can you reflect on this and how the band navigated this terrain? IA: We certainly didn't want to repeat ourselves. We wanted to retain our core DNA as we went deeper into psych and hard rock influences. It was a complete immersion for me into art, film, music, poetry, and literature, weaving those influences into what was to become Sonic Temple. The band was becoming more popular. We were in uncharted waters. Most of the bands we had come up with had split up or fallen off. We were accelerating. There was no real time to breathe. We were forming new allegiances and breaking the glass ceiling of "the indie outsider." How did 'Sonic Temple' change the band as you found success all over the world and toured relentlessly? IA: The lifestyle pressures were intense before 'Sonic Temple.' In 1987 we had already completed a sold-out tour of the UK, immediately jumping into a tour opening for Billy Idol that was total chaos. We then opened for Iggy Pop (who later appeared as a guest vocalist on the song NYC) and David Bowie in Europe and then went on a headline tour of the US and Canada with GNR opening. That was also chaotic as one could imagine. Expectations were high and we had a lot riding on ST being an artistic and commercial success. We blazed the trail in some way. Later that year we had to cancel a tour of Japan due to nervous exhaustion but were given the go ahead to play Wembley Arena and Brixton Academy needless to mention an infamous Australian tour. It's impossible to quantify the experience unless you've lived through it. Several critics made judgments during that time without any real experience or insight into what it was like to be that young inside of a whirlwind. The subsequent touring for 'Sonic Temple' picked up where we left off in '87. Our lives where irreversibly changed as we began to soar the platinum skies. In some ways the success of the biggest songs and videos from the album dwarfed other songs from the album that were illuminating so many subjects and the chaos of the times. What are your thoughts about this? IA: Certainly, MTV amplified the commercial success of, say, Fire Woman but for me the heart of the album was really in songs like Edie, NYC and American Horse and Soul Asylum. We pushed to create tension drama and vibrant layers I was trying to create a soundtrack for an imagined film. As you tour this year with 'Sonic Temple' as the centerpiece of your set, what do you want audiences to take away from it? IA: I hope people coming to the concerts take away a sense of love and optimism, connection and communion.
BILLY DUFFY: 'Sonic Temple' is one of the few albums that brought together the divergent hard rock and alternative audiences. Can you reflect on this and how the band navigated this terrain? BD: I believe in retrospect the album was basically the culmination of all the work the band had put in since our inception in 1983 as the Death Cult. It was an evolution of the partnership as writers and performers of Ian and me. At the time in that decade, we basically put one foot after the other as you do when starting out and followed our gut instincts as how best to develop as a team and always look to move forward. In simpler terms maybe we tried specifically on ST to take elements of our sound from the Love album and from Electric--both sonically quite different--and make a cohesive third album having the best of both all the while still moving forward and being of our time. I'd agree that perhaps it was one of the few albums that did indeed marry hard and indie rock and that was simply how things evolved with the Cult--not really part of any master plan. However, we have always tried to avoid being pigeonholed since the very early days so it's just how we operated. I think the greater shock to the Cult's early fan base was from Love to Electric, so by ST we felt we had established ourselves as more a rock n roll band than an indie one, even though of course that was our background. What was your mindset when writing the music for the album? BD: I think as always we were reflecting as honestly as we could our lives and environment at that time. I do feel we did manage to put together some great songs, which can be a challenge when your life is mostly spent on the road. Personally I was proud to have gotten the band so far and wanted to enjoy and experience making a truly full-sounding rock album like the ones that had so inspired me back in Manchester in the early 70s. How did Sonic Temple change the band as you found success all over the world and toured relentlessly? BD: I think we had gotten used to touring with Electric a fair bit by then but did embark on a serious year-long tour for ST. I'm not exactly sure we felt successful, but it was reassuring for me to see the band get to another level of recognition. The momentum was always forward and upward. We never looked back too much and never second guessed ourselves. We did have to grow into a 'arena' band and present a somewhat larger than life stage show but that was what was required of us at the time and we did it as best we could. And in the end, I had a lot of fun doing it. As you tour this year with Sonic Temple as the centerpiece of your set, what do you want audiences to take away from it? BD: I think as time has passed our music has endured fairly well. I'd like fans to not only allow themselves a little indulgence into maybe simpler happier times of the late 80s for a few hours at a ST 19 show but also be happy that the music is now really their possession, not ours, and to do with it what they will. For the most part, once an album is done, Ian and I never look back too much and let it go out there with few regrets. Let them celebrate those good times back then but not dwell in them and even more so look forward to new and different experiences in the future.
THE CULT 2019 Initial Tour Dates
DATE LOCATION VENUE THU5/2Houston, TXHouse of Blues FRI5/3New Orleans, LAThe Fillmore SAT5/4Jacksonville, FLWelcome To Rockville Festival THU5/9Dallas, TXHouse of Blues FRI5/10Atlanta, GATabernacle SAT5/11Marston, NC (Charlotte)Epicenter Festival SUN5/17Grand Rapids, MI20 Monroe Live MON5/18Columbus, OHSonic Temple Festival TUE5/19Chicago, ILChicago Open Air Festival WED5/25Catton, United KingdomBearded Theory Festival THU5/26Gateshead, United KingdomThe Sage FRI5/28St. John's, NL CanadaMile One Center SAT5/30Moncton, NB CanadaCasino New Brunswick SUN6/1Montreal, QC CanadaMTELUS MON6/2Rama, ON CanadaCasino Rama TUE6/5Winnipeg, MB CanadaClub Regent Casino - Event Centre WED6/7Enoch, AB CanadaRiver Cree Resort & Casino THU6/9Vancouver, BCCanada Vogue Theatre FRI6/10Seattle, WAMoore Theatre SAT6/12San Francisco, CAThe Regency Ballroom SUN6/14Reno, NVGrand Sierra Resort Casino - Grand Theatre MON6/15Los Angeles, CAGreek Theatre SAT6/22Vitoria, SpainAzkena Rock Festival FRI9/13San Diego, CAKaaboo Festival
The Cult by Tim Cadiente Visit THE CULT's social platforms for all tour dates, news and updates: WebsiteFacebookTwitterInstagram
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“But it was especially by speaking of my inclinations as no longer liable to change and of what was destined to make my life a happy one that he awakened in me two terrible suspicions. The first was that (at a time when, every day, I regarded myself as standing on the threshold of a life that was still intact and would not enter on its course until the following morning) my existence was already begun, and that, furthermore, what was yet to follow would not be very different from what had preceded. The second suspicion, which was nothing more, really, than a variant of the first, was that I was not situated somewhere outside the realm of Time, but was subject to its laws, just like the people in novels who, for that reason, used to plunge me into such depression when I read about their lives, down at Combray, in the back of my wicker sentry box. In theory we know that the earth turns, but in fact we do not perceive it; the ground on which we tread seems not to move and we live undisturbed. So it is with Time in our life. And to make its flight perceptible novelists are obliged, by wildly accelerating the beat of the pendulum, to transport the reader in a couple of minutes over ten, twenty, or thirty years. At the top of one page we have left a lover full of hope; at the foot of the next we meet him again, an octogenarian, painfully dragging himself on his daily walk about the courtyard of a nursing home, scarcely replying to what is said to him, oblivious of the past. In saying of me, “He is no longer a child; his tastes will not change now, etc.,” my father had suddenly made me see myself in my position in Time, and caused me the same kind of depression as if I had been, not yet the demented old nursing home patient, but one of those heroes of whom the author, in a tone of indifference that is particularly cruel, says to us at the end of a book: “He very seldom comes up now from the country. He has finally decided to end his days there, etc.”” Μarcel Proust, In the Shadow of Young Girls in Flower, In Search of Lost Time “There comes a time (and this is a problem of consciousness) when "our days are numbered": there begins a backwards count, vague yet irreversible. You knew you were mortal (everyone has told you so, ever since you had ears to hear); suddenly you feel mortal (this is not a natural feeling; the natural one is to believe yourself immortal; whence so many accidents due to carelessness).This evidence, once it is experienced, transforms the landscape: I must, imperatively, lodge my work in a compartment which has uncertain contours but which I know (new consciousness) are finite: the last compartment. Or rather, because the compartment is designated, because there are no longer any "outside-instances," the work I am going to lodge there assumes a kind of formality, a solemn instance. Like Proust, ill, threatened by death (or believing himself so), we come back to the phrase of St. John quoted, approximately, in Contre SainteBeuve: "Work, while you still have the light." And then a time also comes (the same time) when what you have done, worked, written, appears doomed to repetition: What! Until my death, to be writing articles, giving courses, lectures, on "subjects" which alone will vary, and so little! (It's that "on" which bothers me.) This feeling is a cruel one; for it confronts me with the foreclosure of anything New or even of any Adventure (that which "advenes" which befalls me); I see my future, until death, as a series: when I've finished this text, this lecture, I'll have nothing else to do but start again with another ... Can this be all? No, Sisyphus is not happy: he is alienated, not by the effort of his labor, or even by its vanity, but by its repetition.” Roland Barthes, Longtemps, je me suis couche de bonne heure . . ., The Rustle of Language
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“Living Out of Water” Part IV
Pisces woke up. She found herself sleeping on a canvas. The night before she had been very determined to finish her art work. But at some point she got so terribly exhausted that she let go of the control over her body and fell asleep wherever gravitation found suitable to place her. She got her head up and looked around. The girl was used to seeing chaos that pervaded the house. The current order and the fact that she could actually see the floor felt strange. She got the sudden need of looking at her reflection. It had been long since the last time she had seen her face even in a puddle. She was always too busy admiring the things and people around her, seldom remembering about her own external and internal beauty. But where had she put the mirror? Oh, yes – right next to the bed. It was on the floor, so she crawled towards it. And there she stood. Her skin was rough because of how poorly she treated it. That didn’t matter, anyways. Her hair was as messy as ever, but finding a comb was too much trouble. Half of her face was covered with paint due to her extremely unusual pillow from the previous night. Washing her face would have to wait, though, because the most important thing at that moment was to check if the painting was irreversibly damaged. She headed for it so hastily, she almost stumbled upon the paint container. Fortunately, her precious work was not completely ruined. More paint would have to be added in order to compensate for the one that ended up on Pisces’ face, but other than that everything was fine. Instead of immediately trying to fix it, the girl just stayed there and contemplated the canvas, wondering if it wasn’t actually even better after the small ‘accident’. Someone knocked on the door. That was very strange, considering the fact that she never had visitors. No one really knew where she lived. Could the visit be ill-intentioned ? Or could it be something life-changing in a most wonderful way? While Pisces was yet again overthinking, a second knock occurred. She finally decided to go for it, no matter what could happen - she opened the door directly, without even asking about name or intentions… “Hi! I am a traveler and while I was walking around I saw this cute little cottage and I wondered if you’d be so kind to put me up for the night. Also I saw you the other day at the river, but I didn’t know that this was your house. It’s really nice around here. Your house is nice as well… I mean – it needs a little bit of refreshment, but it has potential,” it turned out that there had been nothing to fear indeed. At her door was one completely safe-looking slender youngster with quiet long legs, arms and neck but at the same time a short trunk. His eyes were blue, with a childish spark; the features of his face - sharp, but eye-pleasing. “Nice to meet you, sir,” Pisces said with a warm smile, “What is your name? Forgive me if you have already mentioned it, but it is hard to keep up with the speed of your speaking.” “Oh, no… forgive me for not introducing myself. I am Gemini. And you are…?” “I am Pisces, and I would be glad to help you. Here, come,” the girl stepped aside and let her guest in. “Thank you so much!” As soon as the boy entered the house, he started curiously looking around, “Oh, are these paintings yours?” “Yes. I recently finished some of them. Last night in fact.” “They are very beautiful and interesting. A perfect reflection of their creator,” was he flattering her? Whatever he was doing, it felt nice. Pisces hardly ever received any compliments. It probably had to do with the fact that she spent most of her time alone. “Um, thank you,” said the girl, with her cheeks slightly blushing. “Once I was at an art festival and there were many incredible works, like yours. All of them had a very specific and exciting backstory. I remember one of the artists saying how his masterpiece had been inspired by a young beautiful lady that had left a huge imprint on his life. The image illustrated was not of the lady herself. He had painted a thin stream winding about some white stones. Around the water delicate flowers graced the landscape but behind all of that the sky was depressingly grey. The man said that the image represented the scene that would remain in his memory forever – the way his lady had cried when she had found out they would have to be separated due to some reasons that I don’t remember… anyways, what inspired you?” There was so much to say, but where to start? She had always wanted to talk about that and felt unusually excited about having to explain something. “Well, I don’t have such a specific story like the artist that you mentioned but I always have so many emotions inside of me and so I just let my hand pour them out using a brush or a pencil or anything that I could possibly use. Sometimes I am sad, and I am not exactly sure why, so I don’t have a particular image in my mind that I want to draw; I just use colors and shades that resonate with my emotions. Same goes when I am happy. There was once…” “Very interesting, very interesting. Oh, you write poetry as well?” –the boy interrupted and grabbed the poem which he saw on the shelf nearby, “May I read it?” “Oh, yes, of course.” “Absolutely incredible! I have a friend who writes poetry too. He has told me so much about various famous poets and their pieces. Come to think about it, I don’t remember much about their work but I remember every single one of their names. You want me to tell you some of them?” – said Gemini after reading 4 lines from a 34-line poem. “No need, thank you. I know a few but I hardly go to the library.” –finally having someone to share her art with was amazing, and Gemini seemed to know a lot of things. Nonetheless, Pisces felt like he didn’t really understand the concept of art and the emotions behind it, “Do you want to go on a walk in the forest?” Pisces enjoyed the new look of her house but she had been there for far too long already. After all it was nearly noon… “Yes, I’d do with a forest walk. Especially in such company.” That made Pisces smile bashfully. They sauntered for hours on the way to the groove. Not because they couldn’t walk fast if they wanted but Gemini would stop every other minute, point at something and begin yet another story. Pisces took interest in his words, but at times did not pay attention to them because he was changing the subject much too rapidly. She needed time to think on the new information. When they finally reached their destination Pisces lay down on the ground and breathed in deeply. She was utterly exhausted. Physical exhaustion had nothing to do with it though… it was due to the longest and most energetic conversation she had ever had in her life. After only two minutes of rest her companion broke the silence again. “Oh, look a squirrel! Did you know that squirrels tend to run in erratic patterns in order to deceive their potential pursuers…” “I love squirrels, they are so lovely!” Pisces had faced Gemini and so the squirrel which was apparently in the opposite direction was out of her sight. The girl hadn’t intended to move any time soon but seeing a sweet little squirrel was always worth abandoning her comfortable position. “Sometimes they only pretend to bury nuts in order to mislead the…” “Don’t you see it is trapped under a branch?!” In a blink of an eye Pisces was already halfway to the suffering animal. “Oh. That’s right. Poor thing. How is it that I didn’t notice?” Was he feigning? Pisces didn’t care much about that now. She had to release the squirrel. When she was about 3 meters away, she stopped and started approaching more slowly so as not to stress it. She squatted carefully, lifted the branch, and put it away. The squirrel lay in the grass, confused. It seemed as though it wanted to stand up but could not due to lack of energy. It might have been under the pressure of the branch, struggling with the racking weight for a day or even two without any food and water. Surprisingly no predators had noticed the defenseless potential meal. “There, there sweetie, I shall bring you home and everything will be okay.” Pisces took the squirrel gently in her arms. A tear streamed down her cheek. She wasn’t sure if her rescue would turn out to be in vain or not. The girl could almost feel the pain of the squirrel. Or at least it seemed so to her. Gemini came closer too, “Oh, our little fellow is male. Don’t worry, he will be fine in no time.” “What if it is too late?” – asked Pisces with her tears still not wiped. “Life goes on,” he paused, “Come on now, let’s…” “What do you mean “life goes on”?! This animal has been lying there in agony for god knows how long under that branch and you don’t even care? Have you no pity for the suffering?” Why did she scream? She knew it would not make things any better but the fact that some people could be so careless pained her. It just didn’t make any sense to her how one could possibly see a suffering creature, and remain untouched. “I am sorry for not choosing my words more wisely. I…” For the first time he was speechless. They walked in silence. This time with a considerably higher speed. All of a sudden, Gemini swerved away of the established path and started running towards something. He got back carrying some sort of a herb which was not familiar to Pisces. “This must help heal the injuries on the back. I saw there is a little bit of blood. Once my grandma used this herb to heal me when I was a child. As soon as we reach your house I will take care of it.” Pisces smiled slightly. Perhaps he wasn’t so hopelessly apathetical. And indeed when they finally arrived, he placed the herbs over the wounds and wrapped a cloth around the body. He then petted the animal on the head. Even though she was still sad, Pisces couldn’t help enjoying this beautiful moment of care. They had a humble dinner. Pisces found nuts, stored some time long ago under the cupboard, and fed them to the squirrel. Every bite was given and received with love. When it was finally time for bed they realized there was only one in fact. Pisces insisted that she should sleep on the ground and Gemini, as her guest, should take the more ‘luxurious’ option, but he didn’t approve of that plan. Eventually, they agreed upon putting a blanket as a border and sleeping on the bed together… or separated, depending on where you look at it. Their new little fellow would sleep on the soft symbolic border. In the morning, as soon as Pisces’ eyes opened, they sought for the squirrel. Not for fear that he had run away of course. The dreadful thought that had haunted Pisces’ dreams was that the little fur-covered belly would no longer move lifted by breathed in air. But the more Pisces stared at the animal, the more she realized that for the first time, her dreams had been realistic. Tears were already at her eyes. But they were not tears of grief. Nor of joy. They were simply tears of emotion. She had really hoped that time would spare a few more minutes for her to have that fluffy thing running about the house, creating a mess along with her, and making her laugh. But the important thing was that he hadn’t died hungry, agonized by pain, with misery as a sole terrific companion. He had left this world sleeping on a soft blanket, belly full of nuts and most of all – surrounded by love. She took her never domesticated pet in her arms, stood up and headed for the door. “Are you alright?” Gemini asked with a sorrowful voice. Pisces wondered if he had been awake all this time. “I am. He is now too.”
~So that is perhaps the longest chapter yet. I hope you’ll enjoy it. I would like to mention that this book is full of symbolism and hidden messeges so look out for those. If you want to read the previous chapters use the “livingoutofwater” hashtag(don’t forget to switch to “most recent” because otherwise you won’t find anything). Unfortunately the hashtag does not work for chapter 1 so if you want to read that scroll down on my Tumblr account or even messege me and I will send it to you. Have a nice day! :)
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