#i only listened to a couple only the poets songs today but they have at least one REALLY GOOD SONG! Louis' got that fucking ear i look

[weaselle]

let's talk racist algorithms

i have a weird relationship with music for reasons i won't get into, but as an example, despite loving music, i have not been able to make myself listen to music on purpose in about 6 months. Music is weird for me. BUT I DO LOVE IT

I'm a poet, if i'm really feeling myself i'd even say i'm a word-smith, so rap has a really special place in my heart

The first rap artists i heard and bought an album from them on tape cassette and would listen to all the time were Snoop Dogg, McHammer, DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince (that's Will Smith for you young ones) De La Soul, and Vanilla Ice

This was 7th and 8th grade. Rap was the new rock, the kids were going wild for it, and because my school let students select the lunchtime PA music, Vanilla Ice was played at lunch almost every day at school.

We had zero black students at that school.

(I still remember the exact day Vanilla Ice stopped being popular at school, but that's about the severe homophobia of the time and a different story)

Now let's come back to today. When I listen to music it's often on Youtube, or Pandora. And i noticed a problem with these platforms pretty early on.

See, I had taken a big break from rap. Like i said, i have a weird relationship to music i don't have time to get into, but i didn't pay much attention to what was happening in rap for a long time. I'd had a friend who was excited to get me to geek out over Eminem with her a few times, and i went through a phase where i was in love with Digable Planets (high key recommend if you like an indie feel with a smooth jazz sound and east coast vibes)... I had a secret love for that one verse by Left Eye in Don't Go Chasing Waterfalls, could sing every word of Shoop, and i adored every Missy Elliot song that i heard on the radio. And that was about it. As a lyricist myself, the one that stuck in my head the most from this time was eminem, because lyricism is his whole thing.

I don't go to concerts. I don't buy albums. I tend to like specific songs more than specific artists. I know, i know, but that's not the point. When i can listen to music without it fucking me up mentally, I listen to music on Youtube and Pandora

And lyricism is my main attraction to rap, so when i came back to it on Youtube I put in Eminem first.

And right away, Youtube started recommending other rappers to me. And very quickly, i discovered that i was being recommended mostly white rappers.

I really like Hopsin, I went through a Dumbfounddead phase, i was into Dax for a minute, i like Domo Wilson, the J. Cole songs i like I REALLY like, I'm obsessed with Snow tha Product, I love the first Janelle Monae album i heard, i still fangirl over Missy Elliot, it's no surprise i like Joyner Lucas...

All of these i discovered and listened to via Youtube.

But because i like eminem, because I had a phase where i enjoyed a couple indie artists like Watsky, Wax, and Dan Bull, and because my depressed ass was drawn to NF and now a little Ren, when Youtube recommends rap artists to me, 90% of the algorithm recommendations are white artists. White men, specifically.

I had a similar problem with Pandora.

I actually had to create a special Pandora station that i seeded with three black artists and then ONLY liked non-white artists AND disliked every white artists that came up, just to get a station that wouldn't turn itself into a white rap channel.

It makes me furious, because i don' want to care about who is a white artist and who is a black artist!!!! I just want to listen to music that i like!!! But these bullshit music platforms make me have to care a lot about who is white and who is black just to not be pushed into racist music tastes and i fucking hate it.

And, if i'm being super honest, one reason i really hate it is because i know i probably really do have some internal racist tendencies when it comes to music, because i was raised white in america, and i really resent having to fight these fucking algorithms instead of, idk, being helped by them. I need to be able to look at my feed and assess it for my own unacknowledged racism... like, if there was no algorithm, and i looked at my music history and saw all white artists, i could be like, OH. I need to look in the mirror about this. But instead i have to play this weird tug-a-war with the platform about it and i can't tell what's my own deficiency and what is being forced on me. But SOME of it is being forced on me.

I mean for fucks sake, Snow tha Product does half her lyrics in spanish and the algorithm sees me love her and STILL recommends mostly white men. Hundreds of hours of listening to her, and zero spanish artist recommendations. Its infuriating.

Anyway, if you're curating your music tastes mostly online, and you start with white artists at all, then you really really gotta work to not fall deep into the bias.

And if that's what's happening with the music, how much more insidious must the social commentary content bias be

[mrradmccoolman]

ELLIOTT'S ANDERPERRY SONG ANALYSIS

(part two)

hello again everyone!! brace yourself for our second song today, because oh boy does this one hurt!

song number two issssss....

The Wassay You by Shoe

gotta love shoe! this is one of my favorite bands, and one of my favorite songs by them. i'd definitely recommend giving them a listen just for the fun of it- but if youre a dps fan, maybe i can add to the experience!

i see this song in particular as part of todd's grieving after neil's death. i'm fortunate enough to not have lost a loved one to suicide, but i have been on the other side and had friends who have gone through similar experiences. reading the lyrics will make things clearer, but for now i want to preface that to me, this song is about the desperation and denial todd feels after losing neil to suicide. this isn't something i think about as often, mainly to protect my own wellbeing (i have to pretend they're happy SOMEhow) but it's actually a really important part of the movie and their relationship.

"well the weight i feel is coming down heavy upon me now" when todd is first told of neil's death, he's just woken up, still groggy with confusion. he even tries to go back to sleep at first when charlie tries to wake him up. this is not only indicative of the seeming suddenness of neil's death, but also, to me, a short-term example of how at first you can't accept that something this bad has really happened to you. it happens in the news, it happens in books, it happens in the stories told in hushed voices by your parents in the middle of the night that you aren't supposed to hear- it doesn't happen to you. todd is being forced to face the reality of a world without neil.

"and i start to see you crawling through branches and coming out" people who have experienced grief often describe thinking they're seeing the person they've lost out of the corner of their eye/forgetting they're no longer there. todd is dealing with that firsthand. neil has been such a fixture in his life that his subconscious can't grasp his absence. additionally, the "through branches" part could allude to both neil's crown as puck, which he was wearing the last time todd saw him, and/or the woods they walked through together to get to the cave. perhaps in the shadows of the trees, stumbling numbly to the cave as if neil's ghost haunts the stone, todd can't help but glimpse a familiar smile between the leaves.

"making plans to save you from all those monsters i heard about" todd meets neil's father a total of what, one time before neil's death? throughout the movie we see that the dead poets clearly see at least some of the detrimental effects neil's father has on his mental health, and have a level of understanding of how bad it is. however, coupled with the nature of the time (lack of openness about mental health, boys repressed emotions, etc) and neil's avoidance of the subject (as someone with depression, i can certainly relate to the blase ignorance of sore subjects like this, and i also firmly believe that as it is with me, neil would only get angry if pushed to talk about things more. depression isn't pretty) they wouldn't talk about it nor have a full grasp of the situation (charlie would probably be the one who understands the most about what's really going on). therefore, in a way, mr. perry is a man of myth for todd, a tall figure casting shadow over his roommate. a "monster (he's) heard about". the other monsters would be talk of mental health and depressive disorders, which at the time would not only have been taboo but also misunderstood and demonized. it's easier and safer to ignore those things when it's what everyone else does, but on top of that, i think that even when todd would try to mention it to neil he'd be brushed off. now that he sees the full extent of what neil was going through and it's consequences, he can't stop himself from uselessly making plans of how he could have "saved" neil.

"driving you home tonight, there's nothing i wouldn't like" i see this as todd thinking about neil's father driving him home, his devastating grief at the thought of neil being taken home in cold, angry silence instead of being around the people who supported and loved him. if todd had been the one to take him home, he thinks about how no matter how neil had done, he would've loved him unconditionally and been there for him no matter what.

"it's all in my ears, darling, i wanna feel alive again" all todd can think about, even in his dreams when he manages to exhaust himself enough into sleep, is neil. even though he isn't the one who's dead, he feels he might as well be without neil beside him. the world feels drained of something essential.

"and i start to imagine moments i couldn't have seen at all" todd obsesses over every second spent with neil, every second not spent with him, to the point where he's constantly thinking about whether there were signs, if he missed some crucial thing that would've somehow made things different.

"and you know i'm there, you know i'm there" did neil know? did he know todd would have done anything? it's useless to repeat it now, but he does anyways.

"something wrong with me, something wrong with you" i believe this is not only about the nature of their relationship and the idea that there was something "wrong" with them for having romantic feelings, but also about the parallels between their mental health struggles. it's pretty obvious to me that neil has depression and todd has general anxiety, but i wouldn't hesitate to say they share those diagnoses as well. another thing "wrong" with them.

"something broken, i want to pretend i can protect you" yet again, we have todd ruminating on what was, escaping to the safety of his mind in a world where he could have done something differently. in light of this, i feel it's important to clarify that when you love someone who has suicidal ideation/tendencies, things aren't so simple. there isnt one defining moment where you could have magically made them not make that decision most of the time. i do believe that todd certainly could have made a difference (i'm actually writing a fic about it) BUT even so need to remember the distinction. life and mental health are not so simple. however, the mind is rarely rational, and this along with todd's limited understanding of mental health would really amplify these thoughts for him.

"in this little town with all it's falling houses, i've been coming here looking for you, with you falling away" this "little town" could refer to many things- welton, the social circles impacted by neil's death, society as a whole..."falling houses" being the deconstruction of many peoples' ideas and perceptions of many things (mental health, neil as a person, his relationship with his father, welton, etc). todd was always looking at neil, to neil; he understood neil in a way few people did. maybe more than anyone else in many ways. "you falling away" can not only be a reference to neil's death, but also the helplessness you feel when you lose a loved one to depression and can't make things better for them.

woof, that was a ride...let me know your thoughts! this was a heavy one, so i'm thinking i'll do one a bit more light, next time. thank you for reading!!

(the playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3Fh97W8EItmoJHjQvjsBl4?si=RRzf_yZKRSC-rLIyz0XqxA&pi=SaFIdBdkQKO0L )

<- previous | next ->

[stumbleonhometomycats]

Hi! This may be a bit of a foolish question, but since we’re both tog girlies, what TTPD songs represent certain characters and couples/ships to you? You can choose any character or ship, but I kindly ask you to include Aelin and Rowan, and Rowaelin🥺.

My dear friend I am so sorry that this took me forever. I have been jotting down thoughts for weeks and finally today was able to really compile them. I ended up assigning every song to someone because I was having fun.

Would love any additions or suggestions from anyone who has read the series!

So with out further ado, TTPD songs as Throne of Glass Characters:

Fortnight Chaol pov during Heir of Fire and the beginning of Queen of Shadows 

The Tortured Poets Department This was quite literally the hardest one for me, like maaaaaybe a little bit giving me Chaol and Nesryn at the beginning of Tower of Dawn???? Maaaaaybe Kaltain in the first book

My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys Chaol is the boy who is always breaking his favorite toys  But also Maeve is the boy breaking all her favorite toys (The Cadre)

Down Bad Lorcan at the beginning of Kingdom of Ash

So Long, London I can see this a few ways, mainly Aelin shedding her Celaena skin and leaving Rifthold. Also, Nesryn and Chaol’s paths diverging when they are in Antica. A little more of a stretch, but The Cadre leaving Wendlyn to serve Aelin. 

But Daddy I Love Him Elide being in love with Lorcan against literally everyone’s wishes 

Fresh Out The Slammer Stay with me, “I’ll bleed whatever color you tell me to”. Essentially, Dorian being so in love with Manon he breaks his mind control 

Florida!!! Skull’s Bay is Florida, so I guess this is Captain Rolfe’s song 

Guilty As Sin? Aelin / Rowan in QoS while they were dancing around being fully in love with each other and while Rowan was trying to maintain his flimsy boundaries 

Who's Afraid Of Little Old Me? Aelin / Lysandra / Kaltain / Yrene / ABRAXOS

I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can) Dorian about Manon 

loml This can go a couple ways, if you focus on the loss of it all : Gavriel, The Thirteen, Asterin’s farmer and child, Sam Cortland, Sorscha, Nehemiah, Aelin’s parents, Rowan’s fake mate, etc.  But if you focus on how horrible the guy being song about is: Aelin about Arobynn 

I Can Do It With A Broken Heart This song sooooo specifically makes me think of the “I’m so tired, Rowan” scene in Kingdom of Ash

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived AROBYNN HAMEL 

The Alchemy Aelin and Rowan, obviously. Specifically the gold nightgown. 

Clara Bow Aelin / Lysandra / Evangeline / Elena

The Black Dog Stay with me….. Chaol and Dorian when they were nawt seeing eye to eye 

imgonnagetyouback Lorcan about Maeve? LOL 

The Albatross The Thirteen as a whole, but super specifically Manon. Also perhaps how Dorian views himself after the end of Heir of Fire and all of Queen of Shadows

Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus Sam about Celaena 

How Did It End? Could go Chapter 99 of Kingdom of Ash  Could go Sam Cortland 

So High School Fenrys 

I Hate It Here Yrene in Assassin’s Blade? 

thanK you aIMee I guess it could be about Arobynn??? The King of Adarlan??? Elena??? 

I Look in People's Windows Aelin in KOA knowing what she has to do and what she stands to lose  Also Lysandra before Queen of Shadows

The Prophecy Rowan, gods it is sooooo Rowan. And very Aelin as well. It is them separately and together. With a sprinkling of Elena having to spend an eternity watching the consequences of her actions unfold

Cassandra BABA YELLOWLEGS? Kind of Nehemiah and Elena??? And the general just not being believed or listened to is obviously Aelin

Peter Vaughan HAHAHAHAH  But also from the pov of the mortal man Asterin’s loved 

The Bolter I MEAN THE OPENING LINES….IT IS AELIN……. It’s kind of a beautiful combination of Aelin and Celaena 

Robin Gavriel for Aedion And then Evangeline 

The Manuscript Elena 

[disneybrandautism]

here are some taylor swift songs i think each of the sides would like! (with some explanation)

nobody asked for this but im doing this instead of my APUSH homework. i’m going to start with roman and go through all of them!

(some ships are mentioned but it’s only a couple times. i promise it’s not all the songs.)

(roman has the most because he would be the biggest swiftie leave me alone)

Roman

enchanted- you cannot tell me roman wouldn’t love the disney romcom vibes of this song. he would love how sweet it was. it’s like meeting your hero.

i bet you think about me - he’s so petty. he would eat this song up.

mirrorball - i feel like this is a given. he would relate an insane amount to this song.

hoax - “your faithless love is the only hoax i believe in” be so fr. this could apply to any of his friendships or relationships with the other sides. his blind faith in the other sides. yeah.

the archer - we all knew this was coming. he would sob listening to this song.

jump then fall - again with the hopeless romantic bit. he would just thing this song is really cute.

question…? - i just think he’d have fun with song. he’d like the beat and just how much of a bop it is.

tolerate it - do i really have to explain myself? come on. he tolerates all the insults. this is his like standing up for himself era.

king of my heart - king is literally in the title. he would again just have fun with this song. so disney prince of him.

champagne problems - feeling the bad guy and knowing you fucked up. it’s so him oh my god don’t even with me.

i could continue. i won’t. next up is logan!

Logan

say don’t go - i just feel like logan would really relate to needing to hear someone tell him not to leave when he gets into an argument.

innocent - i can’t explain this one i just feel like he would get it.

the lakes - he would love the lakes and just this idea of loving someone like this. “take me to the lakes where are all the poets went to die”. this is his song.

marjorie - i feel like he would appreciate that taylor used her grandmothers vocals for this. i feel like he’s more in it for the genius behind her lyrics.

delicate - he lacks understanding of social cues often. “i know that it’s delicate”. he would eat this song up.

glitch - he would get this song in ways i can’t even describe. he would love the beat. his vibes fr.

no body, no crime - a story based song. he would think about this all the time.

lover - idk a reason i just think he’d really enjoy this song.

Patton

never grow up - he’s like a dad. so. watching his kids grow up. it would destroy him.

invisible string - i feel like he would love the idea of the string of fate. he would like the idea that he was just supposed to know these people.

you’re on your own kid - he would feel the pressure of just being on his own and feeling the pressure of being the moral compass.

state of grace - he feels like everyone is the “worth while fight”. yeah you know what i’m saying.

ivy - “you pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand” THE CARETAKER AGAIN

Me! - listen i know it’s not everyone’s favorite but this makes so much sense. the bright colors. the message of the song. the whole thing screams patton.

long live - he would think it’s a really sweet song. he adores the whole message and just how sweet it is. the nostalgia aspect. yeah.

love story - if anyone was getting this song it would be patton. queue the scene of richie from the bear where he is singing this in the car. that’s pat.

Virgil

electric touch - this is so in your face obvious. of course virgil would love the song with fob on it.

clean - i feel like he would relate to this. he’s finally not an “other side” and he’s just virgil. but he sometimes still misses them.

today was a fairytale - i feel like he would be unapologetically a fearless fan. he’s more of a hopeless romantic than i’m willing to admit. it’s so prinxiety coded idk.

closure - idk just very like “other sides apologize” to virgil. (i believe firmly in sympathetic other sides but i think virgil would struggle for a bit to forgive them)

my tears ricochet - “an i can go anywhere i want, anywhere i want just not home.” home was confusing for a bit. where did he belong? yk?

afterglow - the bridge sounds like asking for reassurance during a panic attack. he would love this song.

the lucky one - he for a bit thought that he was the lucky one but realized that all the sides are messy and no one is perfect.

new year’s day - this is so analogince and it would remind him of his boyfriends. he would pick up bottles with them on new year’s day.

holy shit this is getting long. i’m sorry.

Janus

mastermind - he is so this song. he would love this song. he masterminds everything so i just know he would adore this song.

foolish one - i don’t know but i feel like he would love this song in a way no one can understand.

bigger than the whole sky - he probably feels remorse for all he did to roman. maybe he’s saying goodbye to the possibility of friendship? i don’t know but he would like this song.

you’re losing me - i really don’t have explanations for all these. i feel like janus angst always. he would like how this songs has a lot of self blaming.

bad blood - he has beef with a lot of people. i think he would enjoy this song ironically at first. then he didn’t.

so it goes - he is rocking out to this in his room. i just know it in my heart and soul and it makes me nuts.

dear reader - “if it feels like a trap, you’re already in one” this just feels like janus’ internal monologue. all the contradictions feels like deceit. yeah.

cowboy like me - he just wants someone to want the things he wants. he loves this song. it makes sense in his head.

Remus

cruel summer - he would love the beat. he could and would shake ass to this song.

getaway car - i think he’d endorse the message of this song and think it’s a lot of fun.

cardigan - he comes out when people are bored of roman. he definitely struggled being pushed aside so he likes cardigan a lot.

the way i loved you - he would love the idea that even after fighting with someone an insane amount you can still miss them.

i don’t have anything else for remus. i hope this makes sense. if not i apologize. if you think of anything else for remus let me know. i am just slightly nuts about taylor swift.

[someinstant]

I was tagged by @bright-thorn in a quick get-to-know-you game, and what the heck. I've got time before a meeting, so let's do this!

Tag nine (9) people you'd like to know better!

Last song: "Doo Wop (That Thing)," Ms. Lauryn Hill. Today was our first day back in the classroom for pre-planning, and I have a million things I need to do before I have kiddos in front of me on August 1st. And because one of the things I have to do is check transcripts for all of my rosters-- gotta make sure that my seniors aren't missing any graduation requirements, gotta keep an eye out for ELL and 504 and IEP and gifted services, gotta check that no new transfers have duplicate credits, or aren't placed correctly-- I was working my way through a lot of old favorites today as background music. Stuff that would keep me awake and focused so I wouldn't miss anything critical-- and that I knew well enough for it to not be distracting. So The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill fit the bill and was my last selection of the day.

Currently reading: Oh, like four different things. The City of Brass, by S.A. Chakraborty, which I started reading ages ago and then got distracted by life, so I've started over. A Memory Called Empire, by Arkady Martine, which I started reading during the early summer of 2020 and absolutely adored-- and then both my parents needed major surgeries within the same week, and a week later my gallbladder gave out on me-- and in the chaos and haze of am-I-dying-or-is-my-gallbladder-infected, I couldn't concentrate on it. So I've started it again as well, and it's so brilliant. I love it. But it does take me immediately back to that godawful summer in a very visceral way, which makes me somewhat uncomfortable. A couple of historical murder mysteries. And I've just started The Anarchy by William Dalrymple, which is about the role of the British East India company in South Asia.

Currently watching: Literally? I've got the replay of Stage 3 of the Tour de France Femmes on right now because I couldn't watch it live. (Stupid having to work for a living.) In the greater sense, I've just finished watching The Law According to Lidia Poet on Netflix, which hits all sorts of buttons for me, because I do love a good period mystery show-- especially if it's not set in the UK. Plus the costuming is fabulous. I'm two episodes into the second season of Shadow & Bone, but-- eh, I dunno. I really am only interested in one or two of the storylines, so I'm not sure I'm going to finish it.

Current obsession: I am so sorry to everyone who has suddenly been thrown into my rabid cycling fandom, especially if you started following me for, like, Andor stuff or whatever. I'll be somewhat normal again soon, I promise, and will only occasionally reblog GIFsets of Wout van Aert doing Wout van Aert-ish things until it's time for the Vuelta. What you have to understand is that this is not a new thing for me: I've been following men's pro cycling in the form of the Tour de France since I was... twelve? Thirteen? That's when I got seriously into long-distance cycling for a while, there. And while I'm nowhere near as fit as I used to be and the week-long cycling journeys my dad and I used to do are now well out of my reach, I still watch cycling obsessively. It used to be just the Tour de France, and then I started following riders and related folks on various social media platforms, and then started listening to podcasts, and then I started watching the other Grand Tours, and the past several years I've also gotten sucked into watching the spring Classics, and now I've also fallen down the rabbit hole of women's pro cycling, too. And as an obsession it is at its most all-consuming every year during July, which is when the Tour is on-- and I live blog the whole thing. (Not on this platform, although I've considered it.) Like, I do detailed narrative stage-by-stage write ups. The document for this year's total recap wound up being 46k words long, so. Yeah. Definitely an obsession, and it's one that everyone around me just has to kind of learn to live with during the summer every year.

And if you would like to answer these questions yourself, please consider yourself tagged! I love learning things about folks.

[thesinglesjukebox]

TAYLOR SWIFT FT. POST MALONE - "FORTNIGHT"

As you may have heard, it's been a big couple of weeks (dare we say... [ED. NOTE: WE DO NOT]), and today in particular is a very big day. What day, specifically? It's BEARDO FACETAT DAY! Today we cover music's greatest growlers (and also Taylor Swift).

[5.24]

Taylor Alatorre: Here is what it sounds like to sink fully into a warm bath of your own distilled hype. Many will naturally want to join in, others won't, and much like Post Malone, some of us won't be quite sure what we're doing here either way. Monoculture status: still dead. [5]

Isabel Cole: The one thing I liked about "Look What You Made Me Do" was the shock of hearing Taylor Swift, still possessed of a sweetheart persona despite the fact that she has never made much effort to hide the glint of something sharper in her eye, just come right out and say, unadorned: I don’t like you. After years of waiting, on "Fortnight" Taylor finally returns to a kind of disgust indifferent to its own justification, this time in a song that smartly avoids falling into its own metatextual abyss the way so much of reputation did. Your wife waters flowers, she drones; I want to kill her. The sentiment is shocking, made more so by the jarringness of the not-quite-rhyme (flowers/kill her). The opening verse’s even starker lack of a rhyme scheme suggests both the artist’s desire to discomfit and the narrator’s dissociation. She calls herself a functional alcoholic (well, a former one, although it’s entertainingly ambiguous whether she means formerly an alcoholic or formerly functional), but the track is giving mother’s little helper, a dark fantasia of suburban despair made more, not less, unbearable by the fact that the trap isn’t the picket fence so much as it is the ineradicable knowledge that once, long ago, she had proof that it didn’t have to be like this. At the end of reputation, she wrote, "Hold on to the memories / they will hold on to you." "Fortnight" turns that idea from promise to prophecy, wrenching its bitterness from the unavoidable fact that past joy can’t be outrun any more easily than past sorrow. The official lyrics give the first two lines of the chorus as for a fortnight there we were / forever running to you, indicating she’ll always be reaching for her lost love, but you can hear the line break differently when you listen: for a fortnight there we were forever. The setting is new, but this is classic Swift: happiness fades, but memory lives mercilessly on. By design or by accident, Antonoff’s much-derided featureless electronic wash is the perfect musical backdrop for this story, placing our antiheroine in a musical Levittown. [7]

Hannah Jocelyn: This feels like a non-entity at first: a chill background playlist song from someone whose personality, for better or worse, had always come through. Even something like “Ready for It?” has “Burton to this Taylor” and other wordplay that could only come from Swift. There’s not even the WTFery of other songs on the record, nor the tempo changes and orchestration that make “Smallest Man Who Ever Lived” captivating. Antonoff’s insistence on making everything sound 20 feet away means “it’s just there” is an overstatement. "I love you it's ruining my life" wouldn't pass a hundred notes on 2014 Tumblr. I feel more when Anna Indiana changes “we’ve lost it all” to “I’ve lost it all” than I do when Taylor goes “I wanna kill her.” So I was going to give this a [0], but this piece of shit genuinely grew on me. Taylor and Posty have surprising chemistry, and in its distance, the song finally recalls the '80s torch ballads Antonoff always tries to recreate. Unlike the rest of The Tortured Poets Department, "Fortnight" isn't bogged down in lore; it remembers to be catchy, not the superstar equivalent of someone venting on their Close Friends story. [6]

Alfred Soto: Apart from the novelty of a Yank sending thousands of listeners to Google "fortnight," this opening track is rather spongy as a single -- but then "Anti-Hero" became a genuine radio hit and gained resonance from being one. Maybe she's listening to Elvis Costello: "I was a functioning alcoholic/'Til nobody noticed my new aesthetic" is the sort of clanking couplet he'd cough up for Trust. [5]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: Reading lyrics as poetry is a fool's errand even when the artist is practically demanding you do so; all of the critiques of "bad lines" on this album fall into this trap. That being said, "I was a functional alcoholic until nobody noticed my new aesthetic" fails even within the conceit of Taylor's songwriting. It's not that it's incomprehensible per se, but as the second line of a lead single it hits leaden, a collection of perhaps evocative syllables that utterly fails the melodic math test. You can't help but furrow your brow and figure out if there was perhaps a less convoluted way of assembling that. It's inauspicious: given that the Antonoff-Swift production conglomerate seems more and more devoted to creating musical backdrops completely lacking in notable features, you simply must listen to "Fortnight" for the lyrics. Leave aside that I want to write it as "Fortnite" half the time; this is tedious work, a haphazardly set work of serious adult drama that sounds oddly bloodless – Swift has sounded far more unhinged (that's a compliment, to be clear!) on songs where she does not write of a desire to kill. Post Malone is, as he often has been, a saving grace. His harmonies, and especially that counterpoint outro, feel inspired in a way the rest does, helping Swift achieve the Tango in the Night white-collar decadence that she otherwise merely feints at.  [4]

Katherine St. Asaph: A demonstration in one single of the lyrical style of The Tortured Poets Department and why I often like it. (The curse continues!) "Your wife waters flowers / I want to kill her" is concise and striking. "I was a functioning alcoholic till no one noticed my new aesthetic" is deadpan and hilarious; it could do numbers online. "You're the reason ... quiet treason," meanwhile, is a self-consciously crafted Classic Taylor Swift couplet, and thus: not good! The arrangement is drowsy and ambivalent in a way that fits the subject matter -- residual feelings that are maybe mutual, maybe not, but drowned too deep beneath years of history to discern the exact angles. Post Malone's voice is extremely pretty in a way that shouldn't fit him.  [6]

Nortey Dowuona: Session drummer Sean Hutchinson doesn't appear at the beginning. Taylor's vocals take up so much space in the mix that the sub-Vangelis synths and the programmed kick-snare pattern laid down by Jack Antonoff have to become almost a support system to protect the lyrics. Despite Louis Bell's effors to properly mix both Taylor's soft soprano and Posty's far more powerful voice, they blend together in a detrimental way: Taylor too thin and dull to take hold, Post nearly spectral lest he upset the balance of the mix, the synths so rigid and locked in they can't spill out and swarm your ears -- a frustrating miasma of 1987 pablum. So when Hutchinson's more present, sharp contribution comes in at the second chorus, this time repeated twice, it barely makes a dent: Sean is following the pattern. Serban Ghenea and Bryce Bordone's mix doesn't provide him any glory but simply makes it clearer that this is played by a more present and steady hand. And since both voices have been squeezed tightly by Louis, the additional drum work is fruitless. It feels like a credit more to soak up the blood, not to crack the skull itself. [5]

Wayne Weizhen Zhang: So thoroughly bland that it makes me yearn for the days of Taylor Swift lead singles that were jarringly, appallingly terrible (We'll never forget you, "ME!"). Short aside: who is Post Malone's A&R? The fact that he's on Tortured Poets Department and Cowboy Carter is baffling given his fundamental blankness.  [4]

Oliver Maier: What's good about the Blue Nile is that you can't describe any of their songs as "plodding", or "featuring Post Malone". [3]

Andrew Karpan: Something is objectively funny about hiring Post Malone to approximate the idea of Mr. 1975. It’s not great, but it works well enough. On some level, one imagines that someone out there wishes his face could be also used as a prop to try and sell an Amazon remake of Road House. At any rate, Swift makes a remarkably similar use of Malone’s face. It lingers harmoniously in the backend when it finally comes in, humming pleasantly like an old car, or like the past made present again. While nowhere near the most interesting or even the most comic study of Swift’s last relationship contained on the ambient, floating morass of content that it kicks off, “Fortnight” nonetheless persists, ticking along in a kind of styled and graceful camp, toward the mediocrity of middle age.   [5]

Anna Suiter: Doing your gardening while your cheating husband watches you music. [7]

Brad Shoup: In a vacuum, “Fortnight” is, well, in a vacuum: suspended and inert. The phrase "in America" drops the ceiling significantly. When used by the workaday pop-rocker, it's lazy; when used by a superstar, it's cynical: a provincial way to give your emotional narrative fake heft. Swift’s so focused on tracing these thick thematic lines off of the story that she neglects to give anything interesting to Posty, who’s kind of a whiz at mixing alcohol and longing. He’s never been in her class as a songwriter, but he’s the better melodicist, and he could have contributed something wry and pining to match the tone of Taylor’s text. But resentful detachment is the move here, an inversion of Gwen Stefani’s “Cool”.  [4]

Ian Mathers: Well, this is now the Fortnite song (although they spelled it wrong? weird unforced error there) I'm second-most likely to get stuck in my head, after that one kid's "American Boy" rip.  [6]

Mark Sinker: As conscience requires I have a vast essay percolating, a full-on battle of the five armies between cultural historians & critics & reviewers & fans & bystanders, as the vast and ghastly dragon flitters once again above us all -- but before all that… FUNKO POPS LINE IN SWIFTIE EXES REAL AND MADE-UP WHEN [8]

Dave Moore: It hits a [6] easy just for "alcoholic/aesthetic" (I've started taking every criticism of this album and adding "...and that's why it's good!"), but the question is whether there's another point left in it. Pros: I can remember the melody, and Post Malone provides the anonymous duet vocals I haven't heard from Swift since Nathan Chapman was filling in. Cons: Annoying use of "fortnight" and [gestures at discourse]. But like a lot of lyrics on this album, "fortnight" sounds better than it looks, and I've learned to stop worrying and ignore the discourse.  [7]

Michael Hong: The best lines -- "I was a functioning alcoholic"; "I wanna kill her" -- are buried under cumbersome lore and clunky metaphors, but that's what makes "Fortnight" feel so real. It's diaristic in its desire to record every feeling, to chase every thought, no matter how lame. The disservice is that despite shattering her American dream, the music still sounds like she's content to live in its image. [4]

Leah Isobel: I guess I feel pity for Taylor, which means the song is doing its job. I'm also grieving a relationship that I loaded with more significance than it deserved, one whose obvious dysfunction was part of its gravitational pull. The narrow melodic and emotional range of "Fortnight" accurately articulates how the afterglow of such a relationship feels -- still intoxicating, maybe even more so because its failure leaves several eminently pullable loose threads. But it doesn't offer any path toward self-awareness or redemption, even as it reaches for the kind of twinkling pop climax her songs practically require. Instead, it promises that Taylor will live in this mythical (probably shitty-in-real-life) fortnight for the rest of her life, or at least the rest of the album cycle. She's doomed to an eternal significance that makes even her soupiest, mushiest songs cultural events. Sucks for her. And us. [3]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

[thisaintascenereviews]

Frank Carter & The Rattlesnakes - Dark Rainbow / Dead Poet Society - Fission

The beginning of any given year doesn’t have a lot of new music typically, and the first handful of new releases aren’t very good, or they’re from bands and artists that are relatively unknown. You can kind of say that with the two new releases I wanted to talk about today, as they are the new albums from rock bands Frank Carter & The Rattlesnakes and Dead Poet Society. Like with other reviews, I wanted to talk about these albums at once because I feel the same way about these records, so I don’t feel like writing two separate reviews when I could just say the same thing for both. These two bands, in case you’re not aware, are bands that are rooted in hard-rock, indie, garage-rock, and even post-grunge. Frank Carter & The Rattlesnakes, however, started off as a hardcore punk band, as the titular musician was in hardcore / hardcore-punk band Gallows, but they’ve morphed into an indie / garage-rock hand circa 2007, but Dead Poet Society has kept the same sound for the last decade or so, which is when they formed, but I’ve only heard their last album from 2021.

These two albums sound very similar, and because of that, I feel the same way about them, too. These albums go for sounds that I normally like, and they’re not inherent bad albums, but both of these albums are very bland. If anything, I’m disappointed by Dark Rainbow, only because I really liked their last album, aw it was a very raw and intense hardcore album, but this is a sterilized garage-rock album. I mean, it’s fine, and Carter is a really good singer, but the album is either really generic or really slow-moving. There’s not much energy here, and despite having a couple of solid songs, it just doesn’t do anything for me. Dead Poet Society is the same way, as they throw indie rock sounds with hard-rock and garage-rock riffs, and aside from some cool moments, this album is kind of boring, too, and it just sounds pretty derivative.

This is one of those reviews where I don’t have a lot to say about these albums, aside from that they’re worth hearing, but they’re just okay. Hell, these albums may be better if I enjoyed these sounds and ideas a lot more. I’m not the hugest fan of garage-rock, minus a handful of bands, and while I can admit these bands have talent, and these albums are done well, I’m just not crazy about these. I wish I liked them more, but kind of like with the new Alkaline Trio album, it happens. I would listen to these if you do like indie, garage-rock, and hard-rock, but these records are just too boring and meandering for my liking, but they’ve got a few solid songs, and they’re both competent and welll-done, to say the least, so I don’t know, folks. I’m happy I checked these out, but I can’t say I want to go back to these albums. It is a bummer, because Frank Carter & The Rattlesnakes is a band I’ve liked for awhile, but this new album isn’t it, at least overall. Dead Poet Society is a band with a lot of potential, but their new LP has a lot of the same tricks that their last one did, and I remember not being too huge into that, either.

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

💞 Fri 14 Feb 💘

Harry was on the BBC! He showed up in a cute outfit- not an unusual look for him (stripey shirt, Bode jacket with a big ship on the back, flares), but the expensive purse and a candy red Valentine's Day themed manicure pushed it over a line into gender bending territory that made some people very uncomfortable. Good! Go away! He looks beautiful and you don't deserve him, leave us alone to meme him as various versions of "mom coming to pick me up," that was excellent! Eroda's 'Eroda in one gif' thread was also a good time, lots of laughs today. Anyway, he was in good form, cracking jokes and the music! Omg. He played soft gentle versions of Adore You, Watermelon Sugar, a beautiful acoustic rendition of Two Ghosts that was only slightly disrupted by a very funny lyric change, and a lively Joni Mitchell cover, and it was better than flowers and chocolates, a beautiful gift of a performance. And a gift to Harry: Joni Mitchell tweeted him about it! You know he was excited. He's added another secret location small NY show: March 1.

Chaotic larrie Olivia Jones asking Louis the important Qs on Total Access today: do you employ your mates who travel with you (A, obviously, is yes) and did your 'other half' like all the love songs, yes great, okay but like did they complain that there were parts that weren't literally true (A, well I have the excuse that they're part fictional.) Fascinating! Do tell!We learned that Louis' opening band last night (Only The Poets) are in the final stages of consideration to be his Europe/UK opener but first he wanted to see how the fans liked them. A whole bunch, is the answer! So we might be seeing a lot more of those guys. They seem really excited about it all, loved the crowd response, I'm excited to hear more from them and who all the openers Louis chooses are (and eyeing that band he followed on twitter the other day with interest... related??) Meanwhile PotNoodle twitter wins again with the #SendNoodsNotNudes on the picture of Louis being gifted pot noodle. They really get him!

Gigi posted a picture of Zayn ("December 19") and obviously there's a lot of baggage in her posting for Valentine's day and being like 'we were hanging out in Dec' but it's all still unspoken and deniable and anyway here's what matters: Zayn. Looking cozy. At the farm. Absolutely brilliant stuff right there!

And finally Liam was seen celebrating Edward Enninful's birthday with him (and lots of others) and Freddie is my Queen blessed us all with romantic new video content! Happy stupid fake romance day to you all.

[averagewriter-inthedark]

Lt. Natasha “Phoenix” Trace — Fluffy Headcanons ❤️‍🔥 | Top Gun Maverick Headcanon

Link to my TGM masterlist

Dancing is weekly occurrence when in a relationship w/ Phoenix. She loves dancing and its better when she gets to hold you in her arms or spin you around. You two are the main attraction when you go to dance clubs. Sometimes when you’re home Phoenix will play music just to sway you side to side.

Whenever Phoenix lets her hair down you automatically love to run your fingers through it. She’s always keeping it up per regulation but you relish when its down in its natural wave. You especially love when its hair washing day and she needs your assistance. “Babe, can you help me with—.” “YES!”

Phoenix loves to cook and is always trying new recipes. You’ll be her taste tester and when its your turn in the kitchen she can’t help but stand to the side and watch you. You are that couple who plan your week’s worth of meals and go to the commissary or grocery store together to get the stuff. But never go on an empty stomach—cause then you leave with your cart overflowing with shit you didn’t come for in the first place.

Y’all are the ones who would host a Friendsgiving w/ the other members of the Dagger Squad. It became a tradition with y’all having a specific theme each year. One year it was everyone had to make a dish that started with the first letter of their name, then another you all dressed up ad Maverick. This past year involved going around the table and unpacking celebrity scandals.

You and Nat are not just partners, but each other’s best friend & cheerleader. In the gym you are pushing each other to get another rep in. When it comes to your jobs you’re both there to listen when the other needs to rant about the rough day they had. “Today the Gs were just too much and it gave me a headache. I was off target by five seconds.” You two are always going out of your way to make sure the other knows they are loved. Even if it small & simple gestures. “I ran you a bath if you’re feeling up to it. I went out yesterday to get those bath salts you love.”

Date night is a weekly ritual. They mostly consist of walks on the beach, dinner and movie night, of going to the arcade since you two are competitive. You’ll go to the fair when its in town or splurge on a concert every once and a while. It’s something you always look forward to at the end of the week when you’re free from nights nose deep in work where you can enjoy time with your lover.

Phoenix is a total book worm, in fact, the reason y’all met was because she saw you reading a favorite book if hers in a cafe. She was on her lunch break and needed a quick coffee to keep her going when she spotted you in the corner table completely invested in the book you had. When she saw the title —and how absolutely gorgeous you were—Nat walked up to you saying, “that’s a great book you’ve got there. One of my favorite reads this year. What part are you at?” You, completely speechless by the beautiful woman in front of you, stuttered out a response. Before Nat knew it she was well over her lunch break after you two fell deep into discussion over the main character. Once y’all became official, you guys would have nights where you cuddled up to Nat just to listen to her read aloud.

If you’re an artist of some form—photographer, musician, painter, writer, poet, etc—Nat would be your muse. Anything that came to your creative mind often involved her in some way, shape, or form. Your memory card would be filled with images of her doing candid things like reading, cooking, working on her car, or simply walking down the street ahead of you. The song book with pages upon pages of lyrics referenced her doe eyes and gorgeous smile. The protagonist/love interest of your novel would be based around her personality. Paintings often depicted Nat or drew inspiration from your relationship.

Rooster and Bob are your closest friends in the squad. Bob because he wad Nats backseater and best friend, and Rooster because not only did he know Nat the longest but also was the first to welcome you to their little family. He’d be the first person you’d go to when asking for advice on what to get Nat for birthday, anniversary, promotion and what not. You and Bob often have deep discussions where he gives wonderful advice whenever you’re seeking a third party opinion.

Nat loved dogs so expect to have multiple in your home. You guys are always fostering to help the local animal shelter—which sometimes makes you regret it since you always cry when an animal you’ve attached to has to leave. You guys have adopted four fur babies and must live off base since on base residents are only required two pets. And there’s no way in hell you’re surrendering/re-homing your fur children. “Wait Nat, they’ve all bonded—we can’t separate them!!” “Then we’re gonna need a bigger house, baby….one with a giant yard.”

[iwannaholdyoutight-]

confessioni di sex shop (a sunlight little story)

This is a little piece I wrote after de Gucci short movie, it followes the story of Harry and Lavignia and her sexual descovery. You can read the one shot here .

It’s Italy Harry, with a dash of the 70s and a lot of sex. You don’t have to read the firsy piece to understand this! Also: pegging!h

Summary: Harry takes Lav to her first sex shop trip and there she descovers a new kink: pegging her boyfriend. 

Word count: 7k 

Preview:

Lavignia knew Harry for a little while but she already knew it was impossible to ever become accustomed to how direct and honest he was about everything. If Harry felt something, he was going to say. If he wants something he’s going to say. There is almost nothing that can make him blush, actually… 

“I think is unfair how you can make me dizzy and unsettled with just a few words and I can never even make you blush” 

“You make me blush all the time, my dear. Just by being being here with me you already make me blush with desire and burn with such a loving feeling” 

“The best part of dating a poet is that every word that leaves his mouth feels like a book that only I can read” 

“You can open me anytime you want, little darling” he said with a mischievous grin “and there is the blush I love so much… where is my kiss, love?” 

“And you can put the painting over there” said the demanding voice of Jesse Fire, one of the gallery owners. Lavignia could see from the corner of her eyesight that Lovelace was rolling her eyes 

“Lance, sweetheart” Lovelace started “you know nothing about art so can you let me and Lav decide?” 

He gave her a sarcastic laugh, oh how Lavignia wanted to hit him. 

“Well I pay for the stuff so I have a say in this”

“My darling I can’t wait for this painting to be here, for the journalist get your pictures next to it so you can finally go back to Rome”

“That’s the price you pay when you need a billionaire to support you little art gallery” he said walking away towards the office.

“Lovelace, I’m so jealous of Vanessa. I mean...” Lavignia started “She’s so lucky to be in honeymoon right now, she doesn’t have to deal with… him” she continued while looking around the books, doing research for the next exbithion “Right now she is in sunny California, going to concerts, fucking all the time… that’s the life”

“Oh wow… two months ago you couldn’t even say “sex” and now you are so freely talking about fucking all the time. What have we done to you” Lovelace said with a small laugh. 

“It’s the energy of this place if you want me to be honest”

“The energy of this place or a certain someone that is loving on you all the time”

“That someone is partly responsible, yeah. But I like to think the change   because of me, and because I wanted to”

“Of course, darling” said Lovelace “and speaking about Harry… how’s the book?”

“I don’t know, he said I can only read it when it’s done… but it’s unfair, how can he call me his muse and just not let me read what he’s writing about me?”

Just like Harry knew they were talking about him, he got into the gallery wearing the shortest jean shorts ever - an only pair of flare jeans that got so worn out that he decided to turn into shorts, but he cut it too short. Lav said for him to just wear the shorts at home, but of course he wouldn’t listen. And now here he was, walking inside his workplace looking out of a porn movie.

“You know I’m starting to think neither of you work, all you do is talk about me” he said getting closer, using his arms to pull Lovelace into a side hug and then walking towards Lavignia with a little plastic pag hanging between his long fingers “Little darling, I got you lunch” he said giving her a sweet kiss on the lips.

“Baby, you didn’t have to…” 

“Lav, the way I know him, he came here to check on Jesse”

“Look the guy is always treating everyone here like shit but …’ his voice got softer “I wanted to see you. I missed you on my bed this morning”

“I happen to own an apartment and I have to sleep there sometimes, Harry”

“I know, I know, darling. But I can’y help but miss you terribly”

Getting closer and closer he gave her a peck, by now Lovelace knew how lost inside their little word they could get when they were together, so she was no longer paying attention to the couple that was kissing sweetly and talking in whispers.

“So” Harry started “You think we can go today?”

“Yeah, I have done so much and Lovelace was talking about getting out early so we didn’t have to deal with Jesse”

“I’m so anxious to take you there, I think it’s going to be a good experience for you… and for me”

“Taking her where?” the obnoxious voice of Jesse sounded from a bit far but was there “You are taking my employee out during working hours”

“You know just Like you I own ¼ of this business and if there is someone that can complain of her leaving early is Lovelace that owns 2/4. So you can just shut the fuck up”

Lav was trying hard not to laugh at his response. She hated Jesse but she loved how much Harry didn’t even try to hide his dislike for the guy, always with the right answers.

“And she can go” Lovelace started “but… if I’m allowed the curiosity, where are you taking her, Harry?

They looked at each other and answered at the same time:

“Shopping” she said.

“A sex shop” he said.

“COME ONE, HARRY” he was laughing at her 

“Darling we are among friends” sparing a cold look towards Jesse Fire he continued “and somewhat people we have to endure. And it’s your first sex shop trip, it’s special”

He talked while helping her put together her stuff so they could leave

“Harry, I didn’t knew we can now work dressed like a little slut” Jesse was trying to get a rinse out of Harry, but today Harry was too happy with Lav to shallow his provocative words

“You are only jealous I look better with these little shorts than any woman you ever tried to fuck”

Lovelace was laughing while Lav was pinching his bum so he could shut up. She really wanted to leave.

“Lav” oh, no. Jesse was now coming for her “you are too beautiful to hang out with someone like Harry. You deserve a manly man”

“Jesse, sweetheart” she said while holding Harry’s hand and walking towards the door without even sparing a glance towards the blonde man “I like my manly man with jeans shorts and colorful skirts, haven’t you heard? It’s easier to fuck, by the way, you should give it a shot” looking up at Harry she could see his green eyes shinning with pride “or maybe…” turning around to look at Jesse, she wanted to humiliate him a little bit “don’t, you would never pull this style of. And by the way: you’re pathetic”.

Walking toward Harry’s yellow BMW she looked at him 

“What a miracle you’re with the car and not the harley”

“I wanted to piss Jesse off”

“I think we did a good job” she told him while getting inside the car with his hand on her back 

“I think we did” bending down he have her a sweet but longer kiss than the ones they shared inside  “now, shall we go to the sex shop, my lady?”

 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The sun was high in the sky, the august weather was nice. Lavignia was enjoying the sandwich and strawberry juice Harry had made her while he drove on the coast. From the window she could see kids and their family playing with them by the beach, beautiful girls wearing only a bikini and walking around with their colorful rollerblades. 

The radio was playing some romantic song in Italian, she could hear the faint voice of Harry humming along some of the words, with a hand on the steering wheel and the other holding her thigh. With his green eyes covered by yellow ray bans, Lavignia wanted to know what he was thinking. 

“A kiss for your thoughts?” Asked the woman 

“You could have just asked me” he said looking at her briefly “but who am I to refuse a kiss from you, specially when I know it’s going to taste like strawberries” smiling he continued to drive while looking at her every few seconds “I was thinking about only a few months ago when we met and I thought you weren’t going to last inside that gallery and now here I am, taking you to your first sex shop trip, writing a book about my beautiful dark haired Venus, who I happen to be able to call ‘my girlfriend’ and I’m just so so so fond of you. Sometimes I can’t believe I actually have found you because… you’re perfect. You’re everything I wanted and I didn’t even knew that till I laid my eyes on that shy creature that was blushing while I talked about acid trips and ménage but managed to overcome her prejudice and allowed me to love on her” 

Lavignia knew Harry for a little while but she already knew it was impossible to ever become accustomed to how direct and honest he was about everything. If Harry felt something, he was going to say. If he wants something he’s going to say. There is almost nothing that can make him blush, actually… 

“I think is unfair how you can make me dizzy and unsettled with just a few words and I can never even make you blush” 

“You make me blush all the time, my dear. Just by being being here with me you already make me blush with desire and burn with such a loving feeling” 

“The best part of dating a poet is that every word that leaves his mouth feels like a book that only I can read” 

“You can open me anytime you want, little darling” he said with a mischievous grin “and there is the blush I love so much… where is my kiss, love?” 

Raising from her seat she got closer to the man and gave him a peck on the cheek 

“Heey, I want a real one” 

“You are driving” 

After that they continued with a comfortable silence till they came to a stop at the traffic light. Lav was distracted by the way the sunlight was reflecting on the opal ring Harry gave her last week when she felt his hands on the back for her neck, pulling her close, demanding attention. 

She looked at him and felt his lips on her at the same moment. A fervent kiss. 

Harry was a lover. He had all the love languages inside of him. He was a words of affirmation type of guy in the morning when he was making her breakfast, with her eyes looking like she was a little panda from all the fucking the night before, and he looks at her and says “so beautiful with last night all over you”. 

Harry also was an acts of service type of man, from bringing her lunch to fixing her house cleaning when she was too busy with the gallery. He also liked to receive as much as he loved giving gifs: he was so thankful when he got home from a meeting with his editor and there was a pair of fluffy handmade pants she left for him since she couldn’t be there but at the same time, Harry would drive all the way through Rome just to find the perfect opal ring to give to her. 

A quality time together was also one of his ways of expressing love: from the way he holds her tight everyday to how he liked hanging out late at the gallery just watching her work. They didn’t have to do anything and he would still love every second he was with her. 

At last but not least, Harry was a firm believer in physical touch, of course, always with a hand on her. Not only to be sexual, but in a casual intention: it was a way of reminding both of them they weren’t alone anymore. They had each other. 

Harry was made out of love from head to toe and Lavignia just wanted for him to feel just as loved. Emotionally and sexually. She was his at the same pace he was hers. 

She was good with words but not very good with the sexual part. But she was getting better. She no longer was that same judgmental girl that came running during a sunny Monday morning inside the gallery. 

This sex shop travel came in handy: she was going to find something to make him quiver just like he did to her. Even if she is blushing the whole time. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was a small street almost on the way out of the villa they lived in. There were little houses everywhere, all colorful. Harry was holding Lav's hand and looking around. She was always impressed with how much he didn’t care what people thought of him, walking around with his tiny shorts, showing his long legs and pretty bum. 

“You know it’s unfair that you have such a pretty little but” 

 His loud laugh made everybody look at them. 

“What are you complaining about? I mean… you quite enjoy holding onto this pretty ass when I’m deep inside of you” 

“I’m not complaining I just said it’s not fair, you get to be all perfect and I just live in wonder that I get to be with you and see this pretty butt almost everyday” 

“You can do more than just see” Lav was in shock but Harry already knew that. After those few months together he knew all the buttons to push, partly thankfully for her sexual inexperience once they first met because he always melted at the same time parts of him got even harder from the way she would react to every new thing they did “I love when you make that face but you know what I love even more?” 

Making her walk backwards towards the wall of a very blue house he used his left arm to raise her a little bit so he could look inside her eyes. 

“I love when I show you something new during sex and for 2 seconds you look at me curious and then your eyes go darker because this thing you didn’t even knew it could happen makes you feel all hot” Lavignia was feeling hypnotized, that was Harry’s biggest power: to make her melt under his spell “and that’s why I’m so excited because I’m gonna spend a few minutes watching your reactions to everything and I can’t wait to see how you’ll react… by the way, we’re here”. He said with his head pointing towards the blue house she was resting her back. 

Okay. Lavignia could do this. 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She never saw so many dicks in her life. 

Of course they were plastic. 

But the moment she got inside the store she was shocked. Still holding Harry’s hand she walked towards a pink wall full of dildos in every size. 

“If you see anything you like, let me know” she heard his voice from behind her “it’s my gift to you” 

“Harry… I don’t know what I want out of tonight so I can go and buy what I want” 

“Well, I can always give you a tour” she heard a slow and sensual female voice from her side. 

When Lavignia turned around she was met with two large breasts covered by a simple black and white dress, the woman was tall. With big blonde curls and blue eyes, Lavignia had to raise her head to be able to look at the goddess that was waiting for her to say anything. 

“Harry, per quanto tempo, mi amore. Come stai” the blonde woman continued to talk, now in Italian.

“Screvivendo il mio nuovo libro” he said while giving her a kiss on the cheek “Nadine, let me introduce you to Lavignia, my girlfriend. Lav, this is an old friend of mine” 

“Oh, it’s so lovely to finally meet the one to take this man out of his misery, last time I saw him one the weekend before that last showing, the first one you were in, I think” she said while giving Lav a kiss on the cheek, she smelled like roses and champagne. A rich smell of such a classy young lady. “anyway, how can I help you guys? Looking for a new dildo, H? Isn’t your collection already big enough?” 

“Of course not and if Lav wants another one… I’ll give her, for sure” 

“Sure… and Lav ” the tall woman turned to look at the shorter from the trio “do you know what you’re looking for?” 

She wanted to buy something that could make Harry blush. But she didn’t want to say this with him next to her. 

“Baby, you don’t have to be shy. No one is going to judge you” Harry said to her in a soft tone. 

“I don’t know what to look for” 

“Darling, think of all our conversations, every movie I’ve shown you, every book I have borrowed, even everything we have done sexually… is there anything you liked and want to try?” 

“I liked when you held me down with the help of the handcuffs” 

“That’s my girl. Do you want to get a new pair?” Yeah, she wanted one. Lavignia didn’t know exactly why but she wanted to use it on him. 

“You already have that sex swing, right?” Nadine asked “I remember from your last party” Harry widened his eyes trying to get her to shup up. It worked, but now Lavignia had a few things you ask him

“Nadine would you mind that I stay alone with Harry for a little while?” 

“Of course not. I’m going to tend to some people inside the costumes area. It’s a good spot, by the way, if you even want to dress like a kinky school girl” 

“Oh god” she heard Harry whisper to himself. Part of him was always afraid that she started questioning his past. He was already so in love with her that the idea of her leaving him because she can’t accept everything he is, makes him sad. Especially because it has happened before. 

“Darling” she said in a calm voice “what kind of parties do you happen to throw?” 

Here goes nothing 

“A normal one but… with a few sexual elements in the middle?” 

“So what everybody fucks everybody?” 

“No, you don’t have to fuck anyone to be at my party. But you can fuck anyone that is willing to fuck you at my party. The rule is that it has to be consensual” 

“I have to be honest” she started with a tremble “I worry that someday you’ll think that I’m not what you want” 

Harry couldn’t help but leave out breath in sign of relief. But knowing that, after everything they went through, she was still insecure about it. It made him sad. He wanted to be a synonym of peace, happiness and pleasure for her. Not insecurity.  

“Darling, you are everything to me. And I have so much fun with you” he needed to say the right thing “sex is important but isn’t the foundation of a relationship. If sex was everything a relationship needed I wouldn’t  be so lonely till I met you. I love being in between your legs as much as I love watching you drinking your coffee during breakfast with a big book about an art movement while I make you pancakes. I love when I visit you at the gallery when you’re not expecting me and your eyes shine like the brightest little stars. So don’t ever doubt my feelings for you” 

“But like you don’t miss those things that I can’t give you?” 

“But you give me everything, little darling” 

“But like… you also like men” 

Harry didn’t like the way this conversation was turning” 

“You know I do. I thought you didn’t care about this?” 

“NO, I don't, it's just….” Lavignia used her hand to hold onto his shorts, bringing him closer to her, creating s little bubble to give the impression they no one at that sex shop could hear them “don’t you miss it?” 

“Men?” 

“I was thinking more like… a dick, you know” Harry couldn’t help but let out a small laugh. 

“Don’t laugh at me! I was thinking when you went to England for a week to meet with your editor and I missed so much but I don’t only mean by missing you YOU. I was missing…” she was blushing so much and Harry was starting to figure it out. 

“Darling you mean you missed my dick?” Harry asked while pulling him towards his body, using his hand to light her head so he could kiss her temple. 

“Yeah” almost a whisper 

“Don’t get shy on me now, you are telling me you miss my cock when I’m not around. Come one, tell me more. Fill my ego” 

“Stop it” she said smiling but suddenly getting shy at him again “it’s just… do you even miss being filled?” 

“It’s a nice feeling but I don’t want anyone else, I want you. Okay?” 

“Okay. I’m sorry for being insecure, everything is so new to me” 

“It’s fine, darling. I promise you” 

She smiled. Harry looked at the wall of dildos, seeing the types that could be put into a harness. 

“You know… there is a way you can fill me up too” 

“How?” 

“Do you see this?” Harry said using his hand to hold the harness “it’s for someone without a cock. We can fit a dildo or even a vibrator here” he said indicating the spot “and you can fuck me all you want, we can even get one that it’s without a strap, we call it strapless, that goes inside of you too, so we can come together.” 

She had her eyes opened like a panda. 

“We don’t have to do it today. If you don’t feel comfortable with the idea we don’t ever have to do it” 

“But what if I did?” 

“I'm going to buy a movie with a strap scene in it and also a nice kit of new plugs, like the ones you like wearing for work when we feel adventurous, and I’ll get the strap you want with the dildo you want, with a few candles, lube, a new lingerie for my princess. And then… I’ll let you fuck me” 

“I want to make you blush like you do to me” she finally had the courage to say it 

“Then let’s pick our toys. Do you want to be a strapless dildo or one with a strap?” 

Their weekend just got even more fun than Harry thought it would be. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They couldn’t wait to be inside. The moment Harry parked his car, she was going for a kiss. One that he’s giving back with as much fervor. With her small sundress and Harry’s jean shorts, she could feel all of him. 

“You little devil” he said after she started to move her hips, putting pressure on the ever growing budge between his legs. 

“What? Should I stop?” She asked faking innocence 

“Look at you being all so confident. Just wait till we’re watching one of those movies. I’m sure you’ll go back to be my blushy beauty. 

“Don’t you believe me” she asked, using her hand to travel down his covered chest, till his pants. Feeling him hot all over, hard and pulsing. Waiting. Desiring her “when I say I’ll be the one to make you blush today?” 

“Darling… fuck” he said moving his hips to make her slow hand movements stronger “if you don’t want this to be over before it has even started, i sugest you lead us inside the house. We have a movie to watch. Plugs to wear. And you… have an ass to fuck” 

If Lavignia thought she had him by the collar, she just thought wrong. Because when he finished talking she was the one breathing heavily, needing relief. Any type of relief. 

“Come on, let's take our stuff inside” he said nodding towards the shopping bags full of sexy goods for them. The night was young and Lavignia couldn’t wait to live through the night. 

So, as if he was taking the bags from a trip to the grocery store, he got out of the yellow vehicle, whistling, opening the back door that leads to the very black and white tiles kitchen. 

“So… she said helping him take the toys out so they could clean everything” 

“Why don’t you go get dolled up for me with this new lingerie and I’ll go set the movie for us?”

“Do you remember where the projector is?” 

“Yeah darling. Where do you want us?” 

“I can be cliche but I want it in your bedroom” 

“And in my bedroom will be. See you in 15, little darling. Go get ready” 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The pink lace looked pretty when Lavignia looked at her reflection in the golden border mirror. It was a baby doll, completely see through. With little glitters everywhere. 

Underneath there was a barely there  pink lace panties. She felt like Botticelli’s Venus. Using her free hand she put her hair an elegant bun - keying sooner or later it would all come off during their activities. 

She could hear Harry moving from the other side of the door. Making so they could watch the tape he had bought back at the sex shop. He told her he would get everything ready for her and she knew he would. Harry was always doing everything to make her feel comfortable. 

Taking small steps she opened the door: rose wine and strawberries covered in rich chocolate could be seen sitting on the small table closer to the desk. The white panel was already up and Harry was messing with the wire of the projector. 

“Hey, doll” he said, still not looking at her. He was already without his shirt, and Lavignia could see the dark patch of his pubes appearing from the shorts. He had a concentrated look on his face, trying to connects all the right wires. Finally he smiled, the job was done, raising his head to look at the smaller girl. 

“You look like an angel”

“Well I’m pretty sure no angel would do what I’m about to do to you” 

“A few months ago you wouldn’t either” 

“Touché” she said walking towards him, letting Harry bring her close to his chest, looking closer at the ornaments on her baby doll “so, we have a movie to watch, right?” 

“Yeah, but, I wanna get ready for you. Drink your wine, I’m gonna get one of the new plugs and get myself a bit stretched for you” 

Giving her a kiss on the lips and a little slap on the ass, he got the bags that were resting on the bed and went to the bathroom. 

Laying down on the bed with a flute between her fingers, Lavignia was lost in thoughts of desire and love. 

When she first came to Italy she had no idea she would find herself and find not only love but a family. And Harry wound never fully understand how deeply her feelings for him could go. 

Her body was feverish, longing for Harry to come back to bed. She wanted to touch his tummy, memorize all the little freckles across his body. Just like he does to her when he’s on top of her. Sometimes he would just look inside her eyes, capturing the moment they were in inside his brain like a photograph to later be turned into another form of art: his poetry. 

She was so deeply in love with him. All the desire they felt for one another ran so much deeper than what she expected. Who knew that the kooky young man walking across the room those months ago, burning inside of her each step he took would have her whole heart at his mercy. 

She was hopeless in love. And she loved every second. But now… now was time to make him blush and shiver. 

She wanted to watch the way his eyes could turn when he was close to coming but she would not let him feel the relief. Not for a while. 

Those months working at the gallery, having friends that were so free when it comes to sexuality and dating someone like Harry was tearing up Lavignia shields and she wanted to try and show it to him, the man who never once judged her, what she was capable of. 

In that moment Harry walked out of the bathroom, looking flustered, using only one clear blue boxers. Lavignia could spot the budge he was sporting, his chest slightly red from arousal and his hair slightly damp. He gave her a soft smile walking towards the bed and sitting down. 

“Fuck” he hissed 

“Did the plug hit a nice spot?” She asked petting his wet curls 

“It hit the spot, doll” he said, pulling her to his lap, caressing her side while giving her a small kiss to her temple “shall I turn on the projector?” 

Giving him a nod she rested her back on his chest while he raised his arm to the small table next to the bed where the projector rested. 

Movie time has begun.

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The dark skinned woman was fucking the blonde rentlessly on the screen with a big and purple strap on and Lavignia has lost the count of the amount of time Harry has made her come just with his fingers, because, as he said so himself “I won’t be inside of you today so you need to come has many times as I can make you come”. 

The first time she came was when the woman and the guy were just dry humping and Harry used his hand to put pressure between her legs and over her panties. The second was when the woman started to slowly use her fingers to ease the man’s hole in preparation for the huge dildo. Harry started to slowly fuck his fingers inside of her while whispering in her ear all the things he wants her to do it on him. 

The third time was when the girl had the beautiful man on his fours and she was fucking him with such force that his eyes were turning. And now her body was shaking, completely sweating and anxious to touch him. 

“Baby…l she started looking at the projector and noticing that the rolling film was still halfway through “the movie is too long… I need to have you now” 

“Are you sure you want to do this?” He asked, always concerned with her wellbeing “I can just fuck you with the plug on” 

“No… I wanna make you weak in the knees” 

“But you already make me weak in the knees” 

“I want to see you in every type of stage of desire. I want to see you in every angle and position, I want to fuck you and be fucked by you till I’m the only thing in your mind and everybody is nothing to compare to me and what I make you feel” in that moment it clicked inside Harry’s brain: she was insecure. 

“You know that you already are the best I ever had, right” it was funny because they could be so soft even when there was skin clapping and moans as a background music and Harry had a hard on and a plug deep inside of him “I bared my soul to you and you accepted with everything that was inside of you” he said caressing her face, looking inside her beautiful chocolate orbs “it was delicious to learn you and I love you so much, doll. And haven’t you heard? Sex is good. Fucking is good. Making love is good. But you know what is even better?” She shook her head in a negative and he smirked because this gorgeous venus like woman was all his to love and desire “knowing how to fuck with love, and my honey, we are amazing at it” she pulled him and kissed him deeply. 

The best type of kiss, if you asked Harry, was the one that was slightly imperfect and a bit rushed with desire. There was a gorgeous intensity when two people felt such hunger for each other that made them both feel like cats in heat, unleashing the knots of the soul in desire with the want to ravish each other like two animals. 

It was a mysterious desire that he loved it so much and he loved that he only learned that when he was with her and that was what his new book was about. That’s why he couldn’t say that right now, that’s why he won’t show her the book till he’s finished. He wants her to find out the intensity and eternity of his feelings for her in each prose and poetry inside the book he was written with his favorite pink pen. 

“Can I try and fuck you now, pretty please?” She asked him and how can he say no to the keeper of his heart? 

He smiled and nodded 

“How do you want me?” He asked 

“I want to be able to look at you so take off your underwear and lay down with you back on the mattress” while he was getting ready she walked towards the harness that held the strap he picked: 8 inch and pink with a bit of glitter. She was nervous but so so ready to make him shake. “But first, I thing I want you on your fours” she said while putting the strap on over her barely covered pussy, feeling it thigh over her clit that was swollen from all the fingering Harry managed to give to her. 

When she looked at him, he was a vision of duality: tall, muscly, with tattoos and a mustache but in his position that gave away all the control, with the piece of rosé gold coming from the hole between his ass cheeks and his ever shivery body, trying to rotate his hips to relieve his hard cock. 

“Baby” she said in a sweet voice while taking the bottle of strawberry lube that was laying on the bed “I’m gonna take this, okay?” 

He gave her a nod but Lavignia needed a voice answer. Just like he always did to her. 

“I need to hear your voice, baby boy” 

“Yes, Lav. I’m okay with it” 

Moving behind him she started to twist the plug, feeling it hit against his prostate stimulating him in a way he hasn't felt in so long. Slowly she took the plug out, going for the lube, using two fingers to enter his hole without any hesitation from his warm skin. He was moaning lightly, words of affirmation and little horney thoughts 

“You are treating me so so so well” he said, enjoying the feeling of her fingers inside of him. Harry loved this young woman with all of his heart and he desired her with every fiber of his being. 

“Im always good to you, my darling” she said, enjoying the way he was responding to her, finally figuring it out why he loved to spoil her sexually: it was divine to know someone was melting because of all the pleasure you were giving. 

“Darling, I’m gonna take my finger and get the strap ready, okay?” She said already going for the lube but he stopped her, making Lavignia scarred she had already hurted him “do you want me to play more with your pretty hole?” 

“No” he said, turning only his face to look at her, without getting out of his position “ I just…” 

“You just…?” She questioned but she saw the beginning of a blush form on his cheeks and she loved it, she was making him blush. 

Without saying anything he moved to his knees, right in front of her, pulled her by the ass and capturing the toy with his mouth, making the strap humid with is own spit, moaning against, almost sloppy because of the fever he was feeling for this girl. 

Playing the part she decided to stroke his cheeks and pull his hair from his eyes, exactly how he always does when she is the one between his legs. She was loving this dynamic, she could feel her juice melt their way down her tight and the little pression the harness pressed on her clit was making her moan a little, always getting lost in her own pleasure but Lavignia still had a mission: today was his day to melt, today was her day to take care of him. 

“Baby” she said pulling his head but he didn’t listen to it, continuing to bob his head down the 8 inch dildo “baby, be good” 

He stopped looking at her and whispering a little “sorry”. With her head she pointed towards her bed, making him lay down there. 

She slowly walked towards him, enjoying the vision of his dick hard, full and proud against his tummy. With his spread legs she could see all the moisture from the lube. 

Now, staying over the bed, she got one of the big pillows, putting behind his back for support, looking at hue eyes for any sign of resistance. She didn’t find any, so, with her hand holding the plastic toy, she started to rub slowly over the hole, watching it sink, letting itself be swallowed by his desire. 

“Fuck” he said when she hit just the right place “so good to me, so so good to me” he said while she sank all the way in, then getting out, just to go back inside again. 

Slowly to be careful with him but hard enough for him to feel in the morning. She was making him her little plaything, using his body like a map of his pleasure. Knowing what he liked by the little twitch on his dick, if he liked they all she was hitting by the way his breath was completely out of rhythm. 

“You’ve got me so worked up” he said going to hold his cock but her hand stopped him “why not?” He said with a frown. He has so much cum in him dying to get out of his body. 

“Let me play with you a little bit more” Lavignia said holding his hips and going faster, enjoying the way his skin was, by now, pink with desire and his cock always purple in despair. 

“Please, please, please” he said 

“Please what?” Lavignia demanded to know 

“Let me ride you” and who was she to say no to that. Changing positions she waited for him to climb over her body, getting the fake dick and slowly sinking himself “thank you, thank you” he started to repeat like a prayer. 

And she decided to help him in his prayers. 

Using her hand she started to pump his hard member, making Harry move his hips out of sync. 

“I’m gonna cum” he said and that’s when she attacked, sitting up a little bit and getting his dick in her mouth. She heard him saying something but she couldn’t know why because in that moment he was filling her mouth with the salty liquid she got used to those last few months. 

Minutes passed and Harry still had his eyes closed, enjoying the bliss that the orgasm gave him. Slowly opening his arms he got up, helping Lavignia take the harness off and catching the wet spot on her panties. 

Laying down on the bed beside her, he looked inside her eyes with a mischievous glint: 

“What are you waiting for come and sit on my face?” 

I hope you guys liked this little dirty piece <3 You can come to my ask to talk to me about it!

[themusedump]

emilie autumn + opheliac (2006) sentence memes because I’ve been listening to it a lot since it was put back onto spotify. contains a lot of triggers regarding violence, sexual assault, and other sorts of things. so please read at your own risk

opheliac

“I've been so disillusioned.” “I know you'd take me back but still I feigned confusion.” “I couldn't be your friend, my world was too unstable.” “You know the games I play and the words I say when I want my own way.” “You know the lies I tell.” “You know how hard it can be to keep believing in me when everything and everyone becomes my enemy.” “There's nothing more you can do. I'm gonna blame it on you.” “It's not the way I want to be.” “I'm open to attack.” “But I don't want to hurt you.” “That's no concern of yours now.” “You know how hard it can be to keep believing in me.” “There's nothing more you can do.” “I'm gonna blame it on you.” “Intelligent girls are more depressed because they know what the world is really like.” “A devil or an angel with no in between.”

swallow

“But I'll come back to haunt you if I drown.” “If I had a chance to change my mind, I wouldn't for the world.” “Can I trust you?” “I don't want to be a legend.” “Oh well that's a god-damned lie.” “To say I do this for the people, I admit is hardly true.” “You think this torment is romantic?” “But would that do any good?” “Then what am I so afraid of?” “The brighter the light, the darker the shadow.” “I've made up my mind.” “Go away“

liar

“I want to be your faithful one.” “I want to show you all the beauty you don't even know you hold.” “I'm hurting you for your own good.” “I'd die for you, you know I would.” “I want to mix our blood and put it in the ground so you can never leave.” “I want to earn your trust.” “You'll never be deceived.” “Liar, liar, liar, liar.” “I want to heal you pretty sweet.” “I'll spend eternity comparing all my poetry to yours.” “I want to see love through your eyes.” “You'll never have to compromise.” “I'd give up all my fame to fight your demons and your bloody wars.” “Are you suffering?“ “I want your suffering.” “I want your beautiful suffering.” “I want to see your pain.”

the art of suicide

“The pain too pure to hide.” “Why live a life that's painted with pity and sadness and strife?” “Why dream a dream that's tainted with trouble and less than it seems?” “Why bother bothering just for a poem or another sad song to sing?” “Why live a life?” “Why bother bothering?” “Well they should be disturbed.” “Because there's a story that ought to be heard.” “The world is full of poets. We don't need anymore.” “The world is full of singers. We don't need anymore.” “The world is full of lovers. We don't need anymore”

i want my innocence back

“I will cut you down.” “I want my innocence back.” “And if you can't pacify me I will break your bones.” “You think I'm bluffing just try me.” “I will never forget the words you used to ensnare me.” “You'll suffer for this I swear.” “And I demand you put my heart back in my hand.”

misery loves company

“I'm just another pretty face.” “You're not the first.” “You're not the last.” “Don't even ask.” “Do I need you? Yes and no.” “Do I want you? Maybe so.” “Did you plan this all along?” “Did you care if it was wrong?” “I'm not for you.” “You're not for me.” “I'll kill you first.” “You wait and see.” “You're one more selfish lover.” “You're so easy to read but the book is boring me.” “Pray for me if you want to.” “Pray for me if you care.” “Pray for me you fucker if you fucking dare.”

god help me

“I don't see how I can live this way.” “Won't you shine in my direction and help me?” “Won't you lend me your protection and help me?” “Believe me, this wasn't what I wanted.” “Am I guilty or am I just waiting around for the tide to come in so the truth can come out?” “And if I had a dollar for every time I repented the sin and commit the same crime, I'd be sitting on top of the world today.” “Just maybe I'll learn to help myself.” “Places, everyone, this is a test.” “Throw you stones, do your damage, your worst.” “But that doesn't compare to what I do to myself when you're not there.” “Don't make me choose, I've got too much to lose.” “I've got to much to fucking lose.”

shallot

“This room's gonna be my grave.” "There is no one who can save me.” “How long can I live this way?” “Is there no one I can pay to let me go?” “'Cause I'm half sick of shadows.” “I wanna see the sky.” “Everyone else can watch as the sun goes down.” “So why can't I?” “I've been waiting for the day I will surely die.” “I've been told that I'll die before I'm old.” “And the wind I know it's cold...” “But still I've got to get out of this place.”

gothic lolita 

“How old are you?“ “My life was ended by your hand, the kind of murder where nobody dies.” “The law won't arrest you.” “The world won't detest you.” “You never did anything any man wouldn't do.” “I'm just a dead little girl.” “So it's my fault?“ “You made me what I am today.” “A bundle of broken nerves. A mouthful of words I'm still afraid to say.” “Now that I'm old enough to love I couldn't begin to.”

dead is the new alive

“Despair's the new survival.” “You play the game. You'll never win.” “So take me now or take me never.” “I won't wait.” “You're already late.” “Choose your fate.” “How else can we survive?” “What is day without a blessed night?“ “What is peace without a blessed fight?”

i know where you sleep

“I know, the sickening thoughts that slither around your head.” “Manipulate me if you can, go on and fool me like your biggest fan.” “I know, the arrogant pride that poisons the truth you hear.” “Go on and show them who you really are.” “I know the secrets that you keep.” “I know, the tedious need to turn all your love into hate.” “You poor pathetic paranoid, is it just me or do you secretly enjoy it?“ “You play the victim very well.” “You build your self-indulgent hell.”

let the record show

“Why did I turn to you?“ “I only gave you the chance to prove the rumours true.” “I'm paying with my life.” “Don't think no one understands.” “It happens every day.” “Get them off and they'll let you go.” “You're jealous.” “Why it's a simple excuse for a complex crime.” “So write this on your soul or don't waste my time.” “I've got no evidence to prove my end and so you'll walk away.” “Nope, wrong again!”

306

“If it was a game why couldn't I play?” “Like the story I heard a lifetime ago.” “My reasons to live were my reasons to die. But at least they were mine.”

thank god i’m pretty

“Every skill I ever have will be in question.” “Every ill that I must suffer merely brought on by myself.” “t's lucky I hate to be taken seriously.” “I think my ego would fall right through the cracks in the floor if I couldn't count on men to slap my ass anymore.” “Thank God I'm pretty.”

marry me

“I'll hide my behavior with wine as my savior.” “But, oh, what beautiful things I'll wear!” “So I'll fuck who I choose for I've nothing to lose.” “We're coupled together through hell, hurt, and hunger.” “So why do I wish I was...“

[onestowatch]

The Top 21 Artists to Watch in 2021

In a world where the only universal certainty seems to be opening every email with “hope you’re doing well,” the only other surefire guarantee is that there will continue to be new music worth discovering. And, we figured with the start of a new year, what better way to say to spend the waking hours of 2021 than introduce you to a few of the artists we currently have a close eye on. Often genreless and belonging to Gen Z, these are the 21 artists we are watching in 2021. 

spill tab

Where to Start: “Calvaire” 

In her breakout single “Calvaire,” spill tab sings in French over an intoxicating backbeat. The effect is akin to a spell, ushering into existence something inherently danceable and transfixing, like an Angèle B-side finding new life as a Billie Eilish cut. It is a standout moment that would be followed by similar standout moments in the form of a series of varied singles, culminating in spill tab’s debut EP, Oatmilk. Short and sweet, the four-song collection holds all the promise of a 2021 artist to watch.

Joesef

Where to Start: “The Sun Is Up Forever”

Emerging from the fog of Glasgow, Scotland, Joesef’s marriage of heartbreak, desire, regret, hope, and sublime joy is nothing short of intoxicating. Immediately making an impression with his tender, heartfelt croon, the Glasgow artist’s songs soon give way to emotionally rife personal recollections–some beautiful in their understated minimalism, some breathtaking in their expansive scope. Whatever the setting, the result is always the same–a passionate, shared moment you will not be forgetting anytime soon.

brakence

Where to Start: “dropout”

Self-described as “self-care punk,” brakence effortlessly pairs the unmatched energy of punk with an impressive showing of vulnerability. While the past few years saw the Ohio native experiment over a range of singles and on his debut album, 2020 was without a doubt the year he found his sound in the noteworthy punk2. Blending Midwest emo, trap production, hip-hop, and alternative, brakence’s sophomore effort is a masterclass in infectious emotional catharsis.

Mustafa

Where to Start: “Stay Alive”

Few artists embody the sentiment of music as poetry as emphatically as Mustafa. First leaving a mark with 2020’s “Stay Alive,” Mustafa introduced himself to the world with a breathtaking, earth-shattering ballad rife with impassioned emotional imagery. Soft-spoken but never lacking for impact, the poet, activist, filmmaker, and songwriter brings to life the lived realities of Toronto’s Regent Park, a public housing project that shaped Mustafa into the once in a lifetime artist he is today.

Holly Humberstone

Where to Start: “Falling Asleep At The Wheel”

In her 2020 debut EP, Falling Asleep at the Wheel, Holly Humberstone proves herself a master at crafting a palpable atmosphere. Rife with emotional highs and cathartic lows, all backed by Humberstone’s magnetic and graceful songwriting, the British artist lays her heart on her sleeve and in turn lays the groundwork for a debut offering poised to stand the test of time. It is no mere hyperbole to say that Humberstone is an artist to watch out for not only in 2021 but in the years to come.

AG Club

Where to Start: “Memphis”

The initial comparison of AG Club to collectives like BROCKHAMPTON and A$AP may be an easy one to draw, but a single listen tells another story. While the genreless Bay Area collective may radiate the same rapturous energy of the aforementioned groups, AG Club is clearly riding high on their own wavelength. Aiming to make hip-hop but not as you know it, the idiosyncratic collective made their vision clear with the release of 2020’s Halfway Off the Porch, an electrifying amalgamation of disparate genres, sights, sounds, and moods.

347aidan

Where to Start: “Dancing in My Room”

Euphoric, difficult to perfectly define, and haphazardly brilliant, aidan347 embodies the adventurousness and inventiveness of Gen Z. The project of 17-year-old Aidan Fuller, the Cambridge, Ontario native has spent the past five years making music. Yet at the beginning of 2020, the Cambridge artist had less than three thousand monthly listeners; now, that number sits well above five million. A testament to 347aidan’s tenacity, his devoted fanbase, and the power of a TikTok-fueled viral hit–arriving in the form of “Dancing in My Room”–it really feels we are only witnessing the prologue of what’s to come.

Frances Forever

Where to Start: “Space Girl”

When thinking of music’s future stars, what better place to look than to the galactic, lovelorn musings of Frances Forever. Making less of a splash and more of a tidal wave with the release of “Space Girl” late last year, the Boston bedroom artist’s ode to intergalactic love has been rapidly climbing the TikTok and indie charts. Now signed to Mom+Pop records, Frances Forever is more than ready to shoot for the stars and beyond in 2021.

Hope Tala

Where to Start: “Lovestained”

Hope Tala is impossible to ignore. A West Londoner to her core, the UK singer-songwriter finds inspiration in everything from ‘90s movies, classic literature, to the constantly changing world around her. Transforming what feels like a lifetime, and some, of inspiration into an undeniably spellbinding fusion of R&B and bossa nova, Hope Tala’s musings of daydreams, heartache, and fear are the sort ready to define a generation’s ails, joys, and mundane triumphs and anxieties. Universal in scope yet deeply personal, Hope Tala is without doubt an artist to keep your eye on in 2021. 

Q

Where to Start: “Take Me Your Heart Is”

Q, much like his name, is an anomaly. Releasing one album a year since 2018, the ineffable soul and R&B artist has somehow coasted under the radar in spite of releasing some of the most breathtaking music out there. And with the release of 2020’s The Shave Experiment, Q feels like he’s finally stepping into the much-deserved limelight. Leading with the striking “Take Me Your Heart Is,” Q brought to life a nostalgic, hyper-emotive track sure to stop you in your tracks. Hopefully, it’s one of many to come. 

Claire Rosinkranz

Where to Start: “Backyard Boy”

16-year-old Claire Rosinkranz has been making music for the better part of her life, and 2020 was the year that scribbling down lyrics and helping her father compose music for TV shows and ad jingles paid off in a major way. The California native’s single, “Backyard Boy,” taken from her debut EP, BeVerly Hills BoYfRiEnd, soon became a TikTok hit, racking up over 80 million streams to date, on Spotify alone. If there are two things to look out for in 2021, make sure it’s your mental wellbeing and Claire’s euphoric self-dubbed “alternative-blues-pop.”

KennyHoopla

Where to Start: “how will i rest in peace if i'm buried by a highway?//”

KennyHoopla is nothing if not electrifying. The alternative, punk, and ‘80s new wave-evoking artist moves through each track with a sense of world-ending hunger, jumping from one ensuing mosh pit to the next. It is a balancing act of new wave nostalgia and genuine inventive alternative that results in a maelstrom of palpable excitement. To best experience this cathartic form of self-expression firsthand, look no further than his debut EP, last year’s how will i rest in peace if i'm buried by a highway?//. No one is quite making music like KennyHoopla, in 2021 or beyond.

MICHELLE

Where to Start: “THE BOTTOM”

New York collective MICHELLE deftly imbues the sincerity of soul and R&B into a uniquely tender pop outlook, and the result is nothing short of infectious. The project of six predominantly queer POC individuals, the group originally earned widespread critical acclaim for their 2018 album HEATWAVE, but it was arguably their subsequent signing with Atlantic Records last year that has them set to be one of 2021’s most promising acts. Quickly making the most of their newfound major label status, MICHELLE released “Sunrise,” the sonic equivalent of the first rays of light breaking through the clouds, signaling the end of a rainy day. It’s safe to say the future is looking bright for MICHELLE.

glaive

Where to Start: “eyesore”

Few artists define and defy the label of hyperpop as readily as glaive. Falling somewhere between 100 gecs and the second coming of mid-2000s pop punk, the newly-signed Interscope artist released his major debut label EP, cypress grove, earlier this year. Yet before finding a home at Interscope, glaive’s official discography only stretched back as far as 2020. Making the most of a year we all would rather soon forget, the 15-year-old wunderkind showcased to the world a continual musical evolution that is looking to only further pick up steam in the coming year.

Claud

Where to Start: “Wish You Were Gay”

From opening for Clairo to releasing a steady stream of resonant singles, Claud has spent the last couple of years making a name for themselves in the indie music world, but 2020 saw arguably their biggest breakthrough moment yet. With the release of “Gold,” Claud became the first artist signed to Phoebe Bridgers’ Saddest Factory Records. Arriving as the first taste of their upcoming debut album, Super Monster, 2021 is looking absolutely golden for Claud. And not to mention the fact they recently started a band with Clairo and friends.

María Isabel

Where to Start: “The 1”

Where has María Isabel been all our lives? First making herself known with the release of “The 1,” an ode to long-distance relationships, which soon became more prophetic than we ever could have imagined, the debut single served as lovely an introduction as they come. Thankfully, we would not have to wait too long to hear more dreamlike R&B from María, who graced us with her debut EP, Stuck in the Sky shortly thereafter. Uniquely heartfelt and velvety smooth, María’s voice is just the thing to carry you through 2021.

Remi Wolf

Where to Start: “Photo ID”

The past couple of years have seen avant-garde pop wunderkind Remi Wolf test the waters with one out of this world single after another, and 2020 felt like the year everything finally fell into place. Arriving on the Bay Area native’s sophomore album, I’m Allergic To Dogs!, “Photo ID,” and its unafraid, in your face anti pop mentality cemented itself as a surefire hit, and TikTok soon took notice. Serving as a testament to Remi Wolf’s mainstream appeal in spite of her outsider approach, “Photo ID” merely set the stage for what is to come.  

PawPaw Rod

Where to Start: “HIT EM WHERE IT HURTS”

PawPaw Rod may be the only artist on this list with only one single to their name, but in no way does that disqualify him from being an artist to watch in 2021. Releasing his debut single, “HIT EM WHERE IT HURTS,” out into the ether, the Los Angeles artist immediately landed on something special. Blending elements of hip-hop, funk, and alternative under a mellow, syrupy flow, PawPaw Rod wasted no time in setting himself apart from the pack. And with godmode–the same development company that brought us Yaeji, Channel Tres, LoveLeo, and more–it is safe to say that this is only the beginning.

Evann Mcintosh

Where to Start: “WIYULD”

In her dreamlike take on alternative R&B, Evann Mcintosh attempts to capture the turbulent act of coming-of-age. At times delicate to the touch and at times emanating a self-assured confidence well beyond her 16 years of age, Evann Mcintosh’s 2019 debut album, MOJO, laid the groundwork for an act whose promise knows no bounds. It was a promise she made good on during the tail end of 2020, with the release of singles “WIYULD” and “BULL$HIT.” Showing off two different sides of her continued musical growth, 2021 has us all the more excited for what Evann has in store.

Serena Isioma

Where to Start: “Sensitive”

In her breakout single, “Sensitive,” Serena Isioma fuses modern-day R&B and woozy indie pop with reckless abandon. The outcome is a song that not only sounds quite unlike anything else out there, but one whose own vibe seems to shift and evolve from one moment to the next. It is an electrifying opening moment that begins to define the Isioma’s artistry and her debut EP, Sensitive. The first of two EPs the Chicago-based artist would release in 2020, it is hard not to feel like Isioma is already in the process of creating a one-of-a-kind discography.

Blu DeTiger

Where to Start: “Figure It Out”

Whether you know her as the touring bassist for acts like FLETCHER and Caroline Polachek or as the TikTok famous bassist, the fact of the matter is that Blu DeTiger is an artist you need to know. A bassist since age seven and crowned the “coolest DJ around” by Vogue, the New York native’s music skirts the realms of funk, indie, and dance. Unmistakable, nonchalantly cool, and unsurprisingly bass-heavy, you deserve doing yourself the favor of diving headfirst into Blu DeTiger’s music. Just be sure to come up for air, when you’re ready.

[wikipediafag]

re-listening 2 the tøp songs i have saved from 2016 emo days:

its saved in like reverse order so... BLURRYFACE! i'll add a break w reactions

Heavydirtysoul: ...what. firstly, best rap verse they ever did. actually, let me say. this is their only song i consider rap. secondly... what u meant by "gangsters"... thirdly, that death/me//dog/rabbit really aint even good bye its like a 7/10 overall

Stressed Out: ngl this shit goes off its like... cheugy. idk 8/10

Ride: USGK WHAT IS THIS BEAT- "on my enemies I wouldn't wish who i was" ...bars. actually this song has a couple good Quotables. might make a compilation of the ones i hear. the "ooOooOooooO"s are killing me. 6/10

Fairly Local: what did i find likable about this band. "the few the proud and the emotional" IM SCREAMING this is torture to sit thru no joke 0/10 delete it

Tear in my Heart: SOMETIMES YOU GOTTA BLEED TO KNOW yeah they ate THE SONGS ON THE RADIO R OK.. BUT MY TASTE IN MUSIC IS YOUR FACE classic 2nd wave emo love song mumbo jumbo i love it i eat this shit like yall breathe "shes a butcher with a smile, cut me father than I've ever been" 10/10, would listen now

okay yeah we'll make 10/10 mean i'd listen to it on a normal day rn

Lane Boy: (dark eyebags smoking wojac) "i wasn't raised in the hood" we know, tyler. anyway glad to see they caved LMFAO sorry Christian rap wasn't lucrative 2/10 I'm only 1/2 way thru i cant stand this bs

The Judge: 10/10 i still play it on the ukulele most ppl who've heard me play hear this song i love it so much its such a good campfire-y lil shanty (and its easy as balls to play)

Doubt: imagine me crying and screaming in pain while tyler joseph holds a gun to my head and forces me to hear his mixtape and compliment it. that's how i feel right now. its so corny. 4/10

Polarize: this man Cannot sing oh my holy fuck. I'm just skipping it corny corny corny bad production 1/10

We Don't Believe What's on TV: another AMAZING ukulele bop. love this one as a campfire-y song. again. he cant sing. but its a cute song and the lyrics are frivolous and fun and sweet. 10/10, would play not listen

Message Man: i used to adore this song okay lets go. good drum! josh dunn always held the talent tbh. trumpet & drums divine. tyler's a Christian poet. i actually kinda like this song. i wouldn't abandon it. maybe 8/10? would potentially include in a hyperspecific-emotion-in-a-playlist playlist. OH MY GOD THE RAP STARTED nvm. 6/10 no joke that shit is bad now. it literally got bad. this shit is so off.

Hometown: i think I'll like this one actually. i remember not liking it until i was almost out of my TOP phase, so i might like it now. oh! "be the one, be the one" its this one! yeah this is a pop song 100% i can get behind this. let's hope he doesn't rap. so far, 7/10. would play in the car with a friend who likes pop.

Not Today: wait...is this...good? might use this for a coffeehouse or smth it seems like a fun song to sing. actually i think i even have the tab from this phase bye. 9/10. funny little lyrics. quirky.

Goner: honestly? cringe. the build-up & screaming is satisfying emotionally but the beginning is ew. 6/10

insane. 4/10 overall. would not listen again.

[enamoured-x]

so it goes

Word count: 2.1k

Chapter 9

Rio was ever the gentleman as he opened the car door for Alex and grabbed her hand to help her down. He was quick to slide a hand around her waist once he shut the door, and neither of them could get over how comfortable the action was. The restaurant was already a bit crowded and the music could be heard from outside. Once they walked in they were met with the upbeat music and dim lights. Alex couldn’t help but get excited as she watched couples on the dance floor. 

Rio led her to the podium and told the lady his name. 

“You made a reservation?” Alex asked, a little stunned. 

“Of course. Come on.” Rio said as the lady was already motioning for you both to follow her. Alex followed her through rows of tables and to a table a bit further away from the others but close enough to the dance floor. She placed menus down and left them both to it. 

Alex couldn’t help but admire the place. Bright colors and beautiful vibrant murals on the wall. The atmosphere was fun and the music spoke to her as it played for the people dancing about. 

“After we eat.” Rio promised and Alex smiled at that. He was really going to dance with her. She nodded her head and then looked down at the menu. The menu was a mix of mexican infusion and although nothing compared to the real thing, Alex was excited to try out the new food. 

But throughout looking at the menu, she kept taking peeks at Rio. Looking away every time he’d look at her and vice versa. It was fun, and new, and exciting. Alex hadn’t been on a proper date in a year but her nerves simmered down when Rio sent her a smile. He had this calming effect over her, she was comfortable with him even with all the butterflies.

When the waiter came back, both of them placed their food and drink orders in. And then she had all of Rio’s attention. He had his chin on his closed fist like always, his eyes glued to Alex. She did the same and smiled at him. He smiled back. 

“How was your day, mama?” 

“Boring, better now.” Rio was pleasantly surprised. Although he knew she was a flirt, she had seemed to get bolder with him. He liked it.

The waiter came back with their drinks and Alex took a sip of the cold liquor. 

“Tell me about it anyway.” Rio said. Alex was happy to comply, happy that he still wanted to know. Still cared even if it wasn’t exciting. And wasn’t that a good sign? That he would be so attentive through the boring stuff?

So Alex talked about a few of her regulars who came in, about who they were and what they did. And although it wasn’t much, Rio listened to her like he was hooked on every word. He asked questions about a few of them when he was curious and he loved that she cared so much about these people and knew so much about them. He loved that she wasn't money hungry, that she wasn't just after a sale, Alex genuinely appreciated her customers and their lives. People like her were hard to come by these days. Rio enjoyed the breath of fresh air she was. He imagined that if he ever found himself in a field of flowers, this is what it would feel like. Open air, sweet smells, and just all around joy. That’s what he felt when he was with Alex. Like she was a field of flowers that could entangle him in their vines and he’d be fine with it. 

Their food eventually came out and they continued to talk. Alex was able to get more out of Rio and he told her enough without giving up too much. Soon. He’d tell her soon. He at least wanted to know what it was like to taste those lips before she ultimately found out and ran far away from him. He tried to shake the thought away, not wanting to get into that when the night was going perfectly. 

Alex was having a great time with Rio. They were all smiles and laughs as she recalled stories about the girls from their college years or when Rio even shared some stories from when he was little. She was slowly finding out what made him who he was with each story he’d give her. She wanted to know everything about him, his fears, his secrets, his heart. She wanted to delve in deeper but she knew he was telling her what he could. He wasn’t the kind of guy to lay out everything at someone’s feet but he was trying and that was enough for her, she could be patient. 

“Ahora si, bailamos?” Rio stands up and holds out his hand. Alex smiled so big she was sure her cheeks would be aching later. But Rio had the same goofy grin.

“Por fin.” Alex said and took his hand and he led her to the dance floor. Alex was thrilled to see Rio on an actual dance floor about to actually dance with her. They chose to stay to the outer edges of the dance floor, away from the other people who filled up the floor. 

Alex swallowed hard as they faced each other when they found their spot. The music was loud but it was background noise in her head, all she was focused on was Rio. That charming smile and the way he looked at her. She didn’t think anyone had ever looked at her like that. Her heart swelled. He placed one hand at her hip and took her other hand in his. He pulled her closer to him, their smiles still in full force.

Rio started to move first and she followed his lead. After a few steps she was pleasantly surprised to see that he actually knew how to salsa. 

“Surprised, mama?” He said and then made her spin and come back into his chest. 

“Very.” He smirked as they continued to move. Rio loved how she fell into rhythm so easily, like it was second nature. He loved how her hips moved in her dress and how she had that pretty smile still on her face. He loved that she seemed to enjoy this as much as he was. He was surprising himself more and more every time he was with Alex. How easily he let her become a factor in his life, how he was fine being patient with her, how he felt every time he was with her. Rio was dancing. He hadn’t danced in years. No one had ever made him want to dance, he never found someone who he wanted to dance with. Until Alex. Until Alex had made that call today and wanted to ask him if he wanted to go out dancing with her. And he didn’t even have to think twice. Didn’t care that if any of the people he did business with, saw him dancing, they’d mock him for it. He didn’t care. He didn’t care about anything else when he was with Alex. Hell, even if he didn’t want to dance or couldn’t he’d still gladly say yes if only to hear that beautiful laugh of hers. 

Minutes passed, hours passed, days passed, Alex wasn’t sure when she was with Rio. They had been on the dance floor for a while, working up a slight sweat at the nonstop dancing. He never once asked to take a break, never once messed up their steps and flow. He kept his eyes locked on hers and didn’t dare look away. And when the song bled into something slow, Rio didn’t hesitate to pull her closer and wrap both arms around her waist. 

“I’m pretty sure this isn't salsa.” Alex teased but placed her hands on his shoulders anyways. 

“No, but I don’t care.” He said and she couldn’t argue with him. Being this close to him was what she had been craving for weeks now. The smell of his cologne infiltrated her senses, making her mind foggy with all that was Rio. His chest pressed against hers had her worried for a minute that he might hear her heart thumping fast in her chest. They swayed as the couples around them continued the usual steps of salsa. 

“You’re so damn gorgeous.” Rio said as he cupped her cheek, not being able to help himself. Something about Alex made him so comfortable, so much so that he was ready and willing to go on and on about how beautiful she was. Rio was no damn poet but he was sure he could conjure up something just by looking at her, just from Alex looking at him. 

“I’ve been waiting for weeks.” Alex said, feeling emboldened by the way Rio was looking at her. From how this night was going. From her feelings that were begging to be set free. 

Rio tilted his head slightly in confusion, amusement in his eyes. 

“For what?”

“For you to finally kiss me.”And that was all he needed. Rio didn’t hesitate as he smashed his lips against hers. Alex felt like she was falling or flying or possibly drowning. Drowning in everything that was Rio. His lips worked over hers smoothly and when he slid his tongue across her bottom lip, she let him in. He tasted like the beer he just had and something minty, and of course, something that she could only pinpoint as Rio. She was hooked. 

Rio was sure he was tasting heaven, or he was in heaven. All those weeks just wanting this, just wanting to taste her and here he was. He didn’t hold back as he let his tongue slip through her lips and she let him. Rio groaned as their tongues gilded against each other, as she put more force into the kiss. He was addicted, her smell, her taste, her soft lips on his. 

They melted into each other as they took a few seconds to breathe and then went right back in for more, not caring about the other patrons in the restaurant. Eventually they slowed the kiss down, just soft pecks every few seconds as they held each other. 

Alex finally had enough sense to stop the onslaught of kisses as the world came back to her. Rio leaned his forehead against hers and then took one of her hands off his neck and into his own, interlocking them. They continued to sway like that. Despite the music picking up the tempo, despite the other people around them, they couldn’t hear it, couldn’t see it. All they felt was each other. And damn was it bliss for Alex as much as it was Rio. 

“Worth the wait, mama?” Rio asked. 

“So worth it.” And she leaned in for another sweet kiss. She didn’t think she was ever going to stop wanting to kiss him. 

They stayed like that a little longer until they realized how late it was getting and that the restaurant was closing. 

When they got back to their table Alex tried to take out her wallet but Rio shook his head. 

“I snuck the waitress my card when you went to the bathroom.” Alex’s jaw dropped and she lightly hit him in the shoulder with her wallet. 

“Rio!” She was smiling though. Leave it to him to be that sneaky. 

“I told you it wasn’t going to be easy.” He said. Rio was dead set on picking up the bill for anywhere they would go. He wanted to take care of Alex. He wanted to give her nice things and good meals because she deserved it. Rio knew this wasn’t a simple little crush, no, it was bigger than that. It felt bigger and stronger than something so measly as an infatuation. 

Rio took her hand in his and led her out of the restaurant. 

“You’re going to be a pain.” Alex teased, Rio laughed and kissed her cheek. 

“So are you.” Alex laughed as they neared his car. She had an amazing night and kissing Rio, well it was all she wanted to do now. So when they got to his car she didn’t let him open the door yet. Instead she leaned against it and pulled him closer by his shirt. Rio got the idea and placed one hand at her waist and one up against the car, right by her head. 

“Kiss me.” Is all she said. Rio was eager to comply again as his lips met hers. He was sure kissing Alex would never get old. He would never tire of it. And now that he had tasted her, he didn’t want to stop. He wouldn’t stop. He was going to fight for her. Fuck everything else, he was going to make Alex his. 

Taglist: @thickemadame @fairywriter-oracle @joalsglasses @naysianaee @gemini0410 @enamouravecleslivresetlechocolat @helloosilver @scuzmunkie @xstylishmileage @starrynite7114 @wanhedavaliquette @laricebabe

[eyecache]

@prinita.thevarajah on @southasia.art, 11/11/2019 to 11/19/2019

“Hello, Prinita @prinita.thevarajah here. This week I’ll be sharing my thoughts about Eelam cultural identity formation through Tamil cinema (Kollywood) and the Eelam diaspora.

Eelam Tamils are native to Sri Lanka and constitute the largest diasporic Tamil community outside of India. Not all diasporic Tamils share a collective sense of Tamil identity, though Kollywood has been crucial in marking  and maintaining one’s Tamil identity in the diaspora, especially where Tamil communities often hold minority status. As an Eelam kid in Australia, I often looked towards Kollywood to shape my understanding of what it meant to be Tamil. The child of Eelam refugees who fled Sri Lanka in the 80s as war between the government and Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam (LTTE) erupted, ongoing violence carried out against Eelam Tamils halted our community's capacity in developing a 'popular culture’ of it’s own. To be an Eelam Tamil is to be part of a community whose territorial, cultural and ethno-linguistic identity have been so heavily discriminated against to the point of genocide. The trauma of war seeped into our identity formation, and our fragmented diaspora while incredibly resilient, had not one single cultural representation to rely on. So, despite a lack of representation, Kollywood became the pillar that Tamilness sat upon. And while the articulation of Dravidian identity and Tamil nationalism is profound in Kollywood, the struggles of Eelam Tamils fit well within the profound self proclamations of Tamil language, culture and tradition propagated by Kollywood, but solidarity failed to materialize on the screens.

This week I want to explore representations of Eelamness in Kollywood, highlight artists in the diaspora contributing to an Eelam cultural renaissance and ask - what does it mean to re-imagine Eelam popular culture and how can we reclaim our Eelmaness by de-centering Indian ideals of Tamilness?

Despite yearning for a Eelam identity that is whole, I cannot discount the profound impact Kollywood has had on molding me into a proud Tamil. As a child in Sydney, my Appa contributed to Inbathamil Oli (Sweet Sound of Tamil) - a 24 hour Tamil radio station.

He would take me along to spend overnight shifts at the station, and I would listen on fondly to his musings over the air. The theme song for the station was Mettu Podu from the film 1994 Tamil film, Duet. 20 years on, the song still sticks with me as an anthem for the strength, resilience and beauty of the Tamil community.

ஆண் : தங்கமே தமிழுக்கில்லை தட்டுப்பாடு ஒரு சரக்கிருக்குது முறுக்கி��ுக்குது மெட்டுப் போடு Tamil will never be lacking & I will make music to proclaim it! எத்தனை சபைகள் கண்டோம் எத்தனை எத்தனை பகையும் கண்டோம் அத்தனையும் சூடங்காட்டிச் சுட்டுப் போடு We have seen many fights We have been through many wars Forget them all and be free of them! மெட்டுப் போடு மெட்டுப் போடு என் தாய் கொடுத்த தமிழுக்கில்லை தட்டுப்பாடு Make music, make sound With the tongue of Tamil my mother gave me Tamil will never be lacking

MATERIALIZED AS TRAUMATIZED// Today I want to focus on the representation of Eelam Tamils in Kollywood as one that is flattened without nuance: a people in constant agony and despair, solidifying us in our state of trauma. It is certainly necessary to provide an understanding of the ramifications of genocide for Eelam Tamils. Where historically, our struggle has been erased: the denial of genocide and failure by the international community to intervene or hold the Sri Lankan state accountable for war crimes, the depiction of the plight of Eelam people in Kollywood is assumed to be informative. But I ask, why all trauma and no strength? If Kollywood could make room for us as broken people, why not also portray our vigor and irepressibility? How do we see ourselves as Eelam people when the only representation of us in popular culture is a community that is defeated?

Historically, Kollywood has been uninterested in Tamil diasporic subjects. It's preoccupation has been in the entrenched ideas of Tamil culture, tradition, modernity and ethno-linguistic nationalism. The praxis of Tamil cinema is guided by the everyday practices of Tamil lives in Tamil Nadu and fails to incorporate the question of identity that the diaspora grapples with. Consider that the political struggle of Eelam Tamils heralded a new phase of militant Tamil nationalism, created a society that reformers and poets of Tamil Nadu could only imagine, and waged a war for liberation that was of epic proportions in both triumph and tragedy. It is a grievance that a culture industry in the ‘heart of Tamil civilization’ did not give adequate artistic due in its mainstream medium to an achievement that is claimed by many a Tamil nationalist to have been the ‘height of Tamil civilization’

It’s clear that diasporic Tamil identities are shored up as an anomaly to normative Tamil cinematic identity. Looking closer at the 2000 film Thenali shows the vexed and complex relationship between the Eelam Tamils and those from Tamil Nadu.

Thenali (Kamal Hassan) is an Eelam man from Jaffna. He is a hyper anxious neurotic used by his psychiatrist to derail the career of Dr Kailash. Thenali falls in love with Dr Kailash’s sister, Janaki. The film follows an enraged Dr Kailash’s attempt to eliminate Thenali despite Thenali’s naive quest to please the Dr. Subtle distinctions portray the disparate identity of Eelam Tamils. From the Dr Kailash questioning why Thenali speaks Tamil differently, to Thenali painted as a miserable jest juggling irrational fears as a result of having his home raided by soldiers, his father attacked and mother raped. The film seeks to other Thenali, the traumatized Eelam man who just can’t seem to get it right. Towards the end of the film Dr Kailaish adopts words from the Jaffna dialect, but immediately corrects himself upon realization. If Thenali is the oppressed Eelam Tamil, Dr Kailash is a metonymy for India, whose help Thenali seeks again and again, refusing to see anything wrong in the doctor or his intentions, elevating him to the position of a divine being.

The political history of Tamil Nadu is riddled with moments when the people of Tamil Nadu and the state have been sympathetic to the cause of the Eelam Tamils, resulting in policies allowing Eelam Tamils to stay as refugees and also in offering us financial aid. Much like the fluctuation between compulsions that drive its foreign policy and the sympathy for Tamils expressed in Tamil Nadu, Dr Kailash declares his predicament that he is unable to disclose the thoughts he harbours. At the point when he thinks he is close to eliminating Thenali, he declares, ‘there is no joy in living as in watching destruction’, a statement that resonates deeply with the oft-repeated criticism of the Government of India and Tamil Nadu’s silence in the wake of the Sri Lankan army action in 2009 that resulted in the deaths of 100 000 Eelam Tamils

The film features the song "Injerungo" (slide 5&6) which supposedly includes Jaffna slang - but ask anyone actually from Eelam and they’ll tell you that Kamal Hassan missed the mark almost completely - Eelam kids, what do y’all think

Kannathil Muthamittaal (2002) is probably Kollywood’s most comprehensive take on the human cost and emotional toll endured by Eelam Tamils, complete with visceral descriptions and images of war torn Sri Lanka. The film tells the story of an Eelam girl, Amudha who is adopted by an Indian Tamil couple, and the family’s journey back to Sri Lanka to reacquaint mother and daughter. Her biological parents abandon Amudha to join the ‘rebel cause’ who we can assume is the LTTE. Rather predictably, considering the labeling of the LTTE as a terrorist organization, there is no overt reference made to the group. The rebels are depicted as armed men who speak Jaffna Tamil and the audience are left to form their own interpretation. Much like Thenali remains silent about the cause of Thenali’s oppression, Kannathil Muthamittaal resists making explicit reference to the cause of conflict or parties involved. Expectedly, the film holds arms traffickers responsible for the plight of Eelam Tamils, as opposed to the Sinhalese government, erasing actual genocidal intent since 1948. After visiting the island and witnessing the helplessness of the Eelam people, Amudha and her family return to Tamil Nadu. The underlying message is that the Indian Tamil is both politically and culturally superior and more empowered than the Eelam Tamil.

A common thread in both Kannathil Muthamittall and Thenali is that in the traumatized portrayal of Eelam subjects, Kollywood domesticates Eelam Tamils for an Indian Tamil public. Eelam Tamils are removed of their political agency and are presented as an object of pity. Rather than demanding concrete political solidarity, an abstract humanitarian sentiment is requested. As if to say, “ooh, look how they suffer. Let’s marry them. Or adopt them. Assimilate them into our safe lives. Let us be their providers.” Charity is the gesture appealed for, but there is always something fundamentally depraving in charity.

Tonight I want to make space to think about what it looks like to reimagine and reconstruct an Eelam Tamil cultural identity, away from Indian Tamil ideals.

An accurate portrayal of the political, social and existential condition of the Eelam Tamils is yet to be found in Kollywood. And as Eelam Tamils, we reject being labeled as Sri Lankan as to do so means aligning with the very state that attempted to erase our existence. What does this then mean for our capacity to develop as a people within the island? The North-East of Sri Lanka, the Tamil homeland, is one of the most heavily-militarized regions in the world. Currently, according to the Adayalaam Centre for Policy Research, in the Mullaitivu District - where the last phase of armed conflict was fought - at least 60 000 Sri Lankan army troops are stationed. That’s 25% of the 243 000 military personnel of the whole country. Our people in Eelam are under constant surveillance and control, the military's presence in Eelam facilitates displacement and land grabbing that consequently destabilizes and disrupts the day to day activities of our community. Survival becomes the goal with the preservation and development of culture an understandable after thought.

Considering the impossibility of any free Eelam Tamil cinema developing under the Sri Lankan state, we turn to the diaspora. This year marks the 10th anniversary of the genocide against Eelam people, and as we move into the new decade, it's vital to reflect and consider deeply the history we pave forward as a community. How are we creating stories for ourselves away from the narrow narrative that has been bolstered by Kollywood? How are we reclaiming the identities that the state of Sri Lanka tries to squash daily? At what point do we move away from memorializing genocide to depicting our resilience and expansiveness?

In the pursuit of an Eelam identity that is total, fragmented identities of caste, kinship, class, and region are devalued, uniting diasporic Tamils and strengthening our affinity to ūr. I want to spend the next few days exploring what it looks like to embrace our Eelamness fully as a diasporic people. I believe that in doing the work to understand and articulate ourselves wholly, we as diaspora Eelam Tamils begin to heal the trauma that has trickled down through our bloodlines. Our narrative has a destiny that is full of autonomy, solidarity and collaboration.

HIGHLY EXPLOSIVE/READY/RAW

I begin my imagination on the embodiment of diasporic Eelamness by exploring the legacy of Mathangi/Maya Arulpragasm, M.I.A. Not to revere or glorify, instead to honor and applaud her immense strides to give us visibility while fully embracing the multifaceted and radical notion of being an Eelam Tamil. Maya remains one of the only widely known representations of our community, from our community. That she is as revolutionary, innovative & resilient as she is is a reflection of the immense talent, ingenuity and pure force of Eelam people. Through her art, she amplifies the placelessness and the cultural and political contradictions that come with being an Eelam Tamil in a hyper-globalized world. The fact that she is so often dismissed, ridiculed and as of late ‘cancelled’, is clarification of her power in undermining and challenging unequal systems of control. From flipping off the Super Bowl to being banned from Sri Lanka, Maya is an unapologetic weapon of freedom.

Maya is a DIY artist guided by her trajectory from refugee to icon. Her strength in bringing bits and pieces together: beats, words, images, ideas - to create something new while centering her narrative as an Eelam woman, epitomizes the journey of an Eelam Tamil. Against a culture that glamorizes reality & equates beauty to consumption, Maya provokes a discussion about how the minority live, closing the distance between here and everywhere else. To be a diasporic Eelam Tamil means to be gaslighted by an entire nation, and yet moving uncompromisingly forward in being deeply inspired in our current contexts to bring change, revolutionize & decolonize. And while M.I.A. cannot go back home, we can.

Sunshowers came out when I was 9 years old. One Saturday morning, I crawled out of bed to watch music videos and inhale cereal and suddenly become entranced when Maya appeared, the hypnotic jungle beats blowing my mind. Up until then, the most representation I had as an Eelam kid was my reflection on a blank TV screen.

Reflecting on the music video now and it's images of brown women organizing, I draw parallels to the ideals and aims of the Women's Front of the LTTE. While it is not productive to linger on what could've been, I do believe that a radical imagination will set us free - and perhaps, this was Maya's intention, to provoke profound fantasies to revive the legacy of our ancestors.The aims of the Women’s Front were to: secure the right of self-determination of Tamil Eelam, to abolish oppressive caste discrimination and feudal customs such as the dowry system; and to eliminate all discrimination, secure social, political, and economic equality.

At the end of verse 1, Maya chants 'like PLO, I don't surrendo', making reference to the Palestinian Liberation Organization, emphasizing the interconnectedness of struggles throughout the world and the need to collaborate with and show solidarity with groups of people who experience similar discrimination under colonization. How can transnational, decolonial solidarity allow evolution to our identity as Eelam people? What does it mean to maintain the radical, non-violent goals Eelam within the diaspora?

BIRD FLU

2006/The track draws on the sonics of urumi/gaana that most Eelam kids will recognize. You know the sound cos when you hear it you can’t stop moving: it’s an infectious outbreak/dance break. Maya swims in a sea of folks who look like they could be my Anna or Thangachi - the visuals look like the homeland. It’s the noise of freedom, the resistance of dominant interpretation. Within the sonic dance break of Bird Flu, Maya cultivates themes of militarized warfare and global dispossession spins them into a collective resource for imagining the alternate for Eelam Tamils.

Running with this idea of ‘flu’ and ‘contagion’, with the sound and it’s accompanying visuals, Maya emphasizes the need to spread ideas of alternative utopian possibilities, collectivity, belonging, and pleasure in the midst of & despite devastation by warfare. For me, Bird Flu provides a refreshing moment of criticality—an opportunity to reactivate our political imaginations and reconceptualize eelam community.

SRI LANKA JUST ELECTED A WAR CRIMINAL AS PRESIDENT and I continue my attempt to unravel Eelamness. With the ache in my heart and rage in my chest I ask: how do we move forward?

When Sri Lanka repeatedly assigns power to murderers and thieves, Kollywood tries to cement us as wounded and the rest of the world exclaims ‘oh Sri Lanka! That’s near India right!!???!!?' how are we as a community dealing? Where our experiences of genocide are dismissed transnationally, how do we divert fury and desire for validation of our struggle to healing? How are we to heal when the scab keeps being torn open? What are our responsibilities, as artists, to bring rejuvenation and radical change?

As we grieve for the homeland, I encourage you to think about the privilege that comes with being in the diaspora. Our access to resources expands our capacity to strategize and organize: we cannot limit ourselves. Christopher Kulendran Thomas is an Eelam artist based in London & Berlin. Thomas’s 'New Eelam’ disregards the boundaries of the white cube to project an alternate reality of citizenship and ownership. Provoking the art world itself, Thomas is interested in how his work as an artist can bring structural and social change. New Eelam is presented as a real estate start up of sorts with a housing model grounded in collective international co-ownership: subscribers pay the same amount to access different houses across the world. Working alongside an architect and team of real estate, finance, law and tech folks, Thomas seeks to provoke conversations around property and migration. Our identity as a people is one that is marked by consistent displacement and disruption. We are dispersed but profoundly connected. New Eelam imagines a future that brings autonomy in migration and allows us to maintain the idea of an Eelam the transcends borders. Freedom of movement increases opportunities to collaborate, and our collaboration as a diaspora is essential in the liberation and legacy of Eelam.

When the riots began, My Thatha was the principal at Jaffna College in Killinochi. His school shut down immediately and when I was 6 months, he moved to Sydney and into our home on Burlington Road. Being in a war affected refugee household brings with it a plethora of traumas & my relationship with my grandfather was my safe space. He is an artist - and his idea of child minding was reciting Thirukurral to me as I listened at his feet, entranced: my fingers often swirling in acrylic paints or homemade clay. When I was scared, he would serenade me with sangitham, gamakas cartwheeling from his belly through his chest. Sometimes at night I would tip toe out of the bedroom I shared with my parents and older siblings into Thatha’s room. More often than not, he would be in a state of hypnosis, brushing away at a canvas with images that usually resembled home. Reflecting on this time in my life, I understand that creative expression was Thatha’s device for healing. Not only did his art allow him to reconnect with Eelam, but it also allows him to rewrite and reimagine his narrative.

My attempt to dissect our Eelam Tamil identity has been perplexing yet empowering. As a community heavily persecuted against within the island, distressingly traumatized within the diaspora and yet profoundly capable and irrepressible, I wonder - how can we as a community of diasporic artists begin to shift our narrative? They burnt down the Jaffna library for a reason, they saw our vision and were threatened by it. How can we harness the collective rage we feel productively in a way that not only allows for the liberation of our own people but inspires expansive radical change?

My fellow Eelam people, I challenge you to think large - move away from the commodified and the curated, the white cube and other structures and systems that attempt to contain our ideas. I encourage you to think about art as a a movement for change as opposed to an aesthetic. Organizing is a form of art, protest is a form of art and so is survival. We must use our creativity as an imaginative space that provokes discussion, dialogue and education across struggles. How, through our art, can we make the invisible, visible while listening and working alongside our Eelam community at home?”

Original posts available here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here. Wanted to repost this from @southasia.art on Instagram because of how informative it was. 

[365days365movies]

March 9, 2021: Orpheus (1950) (Part One)

Greek mythology was my first mythological love.

And yes, that is ironically a very cliché thing to say about Greek mythology, since it’s by FAR the most popular and well-known mythology in the Western world, but...what can I say, I’m a sucker for the classics.

When I was 6, my mom got me a copy of the Odyssey, followed by D’Aulaire’s Book of Greek Myths, and that book was my SHIIIIIIIIIIT. From the Titanomachy to the Trojan War, from Decaulion to Daedalus, from the Lernaean Hydra to Ladon, and from Zeus to Dionysus (my second favorite Olympian), I LOVE Greek mythology.

There have been countless adaptations of these stories over the last century of so, some better and more faithful than others. We got Blood of Zeus (which I...genuinely dislike) on Netflix last year, Lore Olympus is a fantastic webcomic and modernized retelling of the universe of stories in general (fuck Apollo, that’s all I have to say), Hercules by Disney is fun (though extraordinarily inaccurate), and who doesn’t like some Percy Jackson (the books, not the movies)?

Today’s entry won’t be the first of the Greek mythology stories this month; after all, it’s DEFINITELY fantasy, so there were going to be a few entries in here. Some will come pretty close to each other later this month, but for this one, we’re jumping forward 10 years from The Thief of Bagdad to 1950. Let’s get back to France, shall we?

Famous for his adaptation of Beauty and the Beast is Jean Cocteau, legendary French surrealist filmmaker. His stylings definitely capture a sort of practical magic, compounded with clever angles and fascinating visual and practical effects. It’s evident with the classic fairy tale, which I would’ve done this month had I not already seen it. So, instead, we’ll be looking at the middle film in a trilogy known as Cocteau’s Orphic trilogy. This is, apparently, the most important one. And that makes sense, since it’s focused upon...

Is Hadestown good? I’m real tempted to find a way to watch it, and it sounds like it’s just up my alley. I’ll probably check it out one of these days.

Orpheus was (maybe) the son of Calliope, the muse of poetry, and Apollo, god of music. Maybe. Parentage differs based on the retelling. No matter the parents, he was renowned for his charm and grace, as well as his voice and music. He was loved by animals, nymphs, and maidens alike. He was invited to be the Bard of Jason’s DnD group (AKA the Argonauts), and used Bardic Performance to inspire his comrades (and also helped them overcome the sirens by singing EVEN LOUDER).

But the one whom he loved most was his wife, Eurydice. Unfortunately, a satyr (AKA horny horned half-goat man) chased her right into a viper’s nest, where she was bitten and died. Orpheus was CRUSHED, and his song was so depressing that even the gods cried. They said, “Dude, go to the Underworld, get back your lady from Hades, please!” And he did.

Hades, the old romantic that he secretly is, agrees to let Eurydice’s soul, on one condition. That he doesn’t look back at her as she follows him out. Orpheus agrees, but the man can’t stop himself from looking back to make sure that she’s there. And she was...and then she wasn’t. So, our sad boi fucked up, and then...well, it’s spotty. 

See, some people say that he stopped worshipping Dionysus (his previous patron), and the wine boi’s female followers tore Orpheus to pieces as punishment. Some say that these same women got a liiiiiiiiiittle too into the Bacchanalia (think orgies, but religious and violent), and ripped him apart in a frenzy. And some say that he only took male lover from then on, and women tore him to pieces for not paying attention to them (also, possible homophobia). You know, it varies. Still, we can agree on the ripped apart by women thing. His head could still sing, and as the women threw his body parts into a river, it sang a song so beautiful that the rocks and branches in the river refused to strike it. His instrument of choice, a lyre, was eventually interred amongst the stars as the constellation Lyra.

The story of a pained artist searching for a lost love and losing her is all over the goddamn place, with the crazy-ass Moulin Rouge being a solid example of it.

But OK, let’s finally begin Orpheus, or Orphée to be more accurate. Gonna be a weird ride, I guarantee it. SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap (1/2)

The story starts with a recap of the original myth, and notes that it doesn’t need to be limited  by time and place. This sort of story, after all, could happen anywhere and at any time. And in this case, that time and place are 1950s-era France, where we quickly meet famous poet Orpheus (Jean Marais).

At a café, he meets a friend, the Editor (Henri Crémieux), where they speak on Orpheus’ fame, which is not well-liked in a cafe frequented by poets. Also arriving there is a young drunken poet, Jacques Cégeste (Édouard Dermit), who is accompanied by his patron, known only as...the Princess (María Casares). Come on, guys, can we give our female characters names, please?

Anyway, Jacques quickly gets into a drunken brawl with other patrons, which leads to the arrival of the police at the café. They forcefully arrest him, but before they can, he’s hit by a couple of motorcycles, and potentially killed. The police bring Jacques back to the Princess’ car, with the help of her driver Heurtebise (François Périer). For unknown reasons, she summons Orpheus to help them. He agrees, and goes with them to the hospital.

Or he would be, if they were going there. Instead, as they drive off, Orpheus discovers that Jacques is dead already. They aren’t going to the hospital. Instead, they head to a mysterious mansion, as ominous and oblique poetry plays on the radio. They’re soon accompanied by the men on the motorcycles that killed Jacques, who work for the Princess. The plot fuckin’ THICKENS.

Back at her mansion, they bring the body of Jacques upstairs, much to the confusion of Orpheus, whom the Princess keeps calling stupid whenever he asks questions. However, he’s not proving her wrong, as she immediately convinces him that she’s actually dreaming at the moment. Although...maybe he is?

She sits in front of a mirror, which breaks...somehow. Frustrated, she commands Orpheus to wait there for her to return, as she goes to check on Jacques and her men. Like me, Orpheus is confused. This gets worse for me, though, as the Princess goes to the other room and tells the dead Jacques to get up. AND HE DOES. Well, Jacques’ a zombie, I guess. He identifies the Princess as “his Death”, which she agrees to. She tells him to hold on to her coat, and then...

...I got questions. I GOT QUESTIONS HERE.

They go through the mirror, and the Princess’ henchmen follow, just as Orpheus walks in. He also has questions, and he tries to go through the mirror, to no avail. Completely confused at this point, he passes out against the mirror, alone in the mansion. And then...he’s outside.

Yeah, he’s just outside now, and waiting there is Heurtebise, the chauffeur! Orpheus is freakin’ out, and Heurtebise has no answers for him, but has been told to take him back to town once he...arrived. OK. Still questions.

In town, the disappearance of Orpheus is being discussed by a police inspector, his wife Eurydice (Marie Déa), and her friend Aglaonice (Juliette Gréco). Aglaonice doesn’t seem to like Orpheus very much, as she’s trying to convince Eurydice that he’s cheating on her. And that’s hard to argue, since he was last seen with the Princess. However, just as there’s about to be a scandal reported by a spontaneously appearing journalist, Heurtebise and Orpheus arrive home.

After a rough encounter with the journalist, he arrives home to a relieved Eurydice, and an enraged Aglaonice, whom Orpheus also dislikes heavily. He’s apparently forbidden her from entering his house, and tells her off. The Inspector leaves too, and asks Orpheus to come to his office to discuss the matter of the missing Jacques.

Eurydice reminds Orpheus that Aglaonice is dangerous, as she runs...the League of Women. Well...I think we know what role Aglaonice is going to play by the end of this. Her and her League of Bacchanalian Women, get me? Yikes. Anyway, the conversation turns into an argument, when the EXTREMELY ornery Orpheus basically just storms off, being a DICK to his poor wife. And when he goes upstairs to his room, he actually sneaks out of the window.

Meanwhile, Heurtebise comes into the house to offer an alibi to the pained Eurydice. While she doesn’t quite believe it, the two share some time together and seem to bond. However, when he smells gas from the stove, Heurtebise lets it slip that he committed suicide by using a gas stove. He covers it up before Eurydice notices the slip-up, but...OK. So, “the Princess” is death. Going by the traditional Greek myth, she’s some form of psychopomp, and the world beyond the mirror is the Underworld, I can only assume. OK...I can dig it.

Orpheus, meanwhile, is at the car, listening to the strange radio poetry and writing it down. The, uh, “Princess” is busy as well. Like a ghost, she walks into the household and watches Orpheus as he sleeps. A narration refers to her as Orpheus’ death. Funny, I’m pretty sure that’s going to be Aglaonice’s role.

Two days later, Orpheus is increasingly obsessed with the poetry from the mysterious radio and its odd messages. While Eurydice seems to mock this obsession, Orpheus also seems to be far too enraptured in it. But, interestingly, the messages seem to be coming from nowhere known. However, it’s all beginning to affect their marriage greatly.

On the phone, the Inspector comes calling, and Eurydice asks Heurtebise to answer the phone. He does so, and soon after, we see the phone float into place, as if placed there by a ghost. That’s confirmed as Heurtebise phases to the outside from nothing, where he meets Orpheus and informs him of the message. The two decide to head to the Inspector in his car, rather than the mysterious talking car.

While Orpheus goes through town, looking for the Princess rather than the Inspector, there’s something that I wanted to mention here. Call it an interpretation. Apparently, Heurtebise is often considered an angel by critics and interpreters. However, I’m gonna suggest that he’s actually supposed to be a representation of Hermes, the messenger god and a psychopomp who escorted souls to the Underworld. Not sure about the Princess yet, but Cocteau apparently never meant for her to be portrayed as actual death. Interesting.

Meanwhile, at the Inspector’s office, both Aglaonice and Orpheus’ poet friends (supposedly) are accusing Orpheus of being involved in Jacques’ disappearance. The Inspector turns them away, just as Heurtebise and Orpheus reconvene in town. While Orpheus didn’t find the Princess, Heurtebise says that she came by, saying that he could stay with the married couple for now.

Speaking of the Princess, we see her at night, staring over Orpheus. And her eyes are...strange. They seem artificial, and it bothers the EVER-LOVING SHIT out of me. And the whole affair isn’t helping Eurydice either, as she’s tired of Orpheus’ obsession with the car, and is planning on going to Aglaonice for advice. Heurtebise tries to stop her from doing so, but she insists. But when she goes...the motorcyclists come for her. And she’s dead. As proven when the Princess arrives through the mirror.

Alongside her comes Jacques, acting as the Princess’ servant. She notes to him that their work isn’t easy, and couldn’t be done if she were dressed in the way the humans portray her. So, she is seemingly Death, or at least an aspect of Death. Obviously, as we’re talking about the Greek story, we can assume that she’s meant to be Hades in particular. But, we’ll see. It’s also confirmed, by the way, that the mysterious messages are indeed Jacques’ poetry, recited by him on the radio waves from beyond the grave. Neat.

Heurtebise is clearly upset with what’s just happened to Eurydice. He asks if the Princess actually had orders to kill Eurydice. She avoids the question, and guesses correctly that Heurtebise has fallen in love with Eurydice. He confirms this, and counters with the fact that the Princess has seemingly fallen in love with ORPHEUS. The plot fucking THICKENS.

Good place to pause, I think. Halfway mark and all. See you in Part Two!