#i only have $20 for emergencies and i have to get my cat some food

[quiverwingquack]

Please help two queer people and their cats out!!!

Hi again. I hate to be making another post like this, but we're really struggling right now.

The big hitters right now are that we have no rent money, or food. We've been skirting by by the skin of our teeth for awhile, watching out for the next emergency that would throw us back into the red. And here we are.

Last month, we had a big, pricy surprise: our oldest cat gained multiple diagnoses in a single visit. His bills are paid up for now, but he's due back in about 3 more weeks for more x-rays and tests, and he's been placed on medication permanently. The monthly cost of pet supplies has essentially doubled, just to care for him.

Meanwhile, we're behind on every bill. Our phones have been off more often than not in the last two months. We're out of food, laundry detergent, soap. We're in danger of losing heat, electric, internet. Because management at my job is pretty unreliable, I can never predict how many hours I'm gonna get, but it often doesn't reach 20, when I'm meant to be full time. It's been impossible to stay on top of things due to this. We're both applying and interviewing everywhere we can, but we haven't had any luck getting any other source of income. And we could really, really use some help right now.

We've been getting by on as little as we possibly can, for years now. We don't have hot water, or a working stove/oven, or proper flooring and insulation to keep the cold out. Often, the cats eat and we don't. Neither of us can drive, so we can't go anywhere without paying for a ride, and we don't have anyone supportive living in the area. Asking for help like this is basically all we have left. It's shaping up to be a pretty miserable holiday season, but we're both very grateful for anything.

Reblogs are very, very appreciated. Tumblr is only making it harder to circulate posts like this, so every reblog is important. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts to anyone who donates or reblogs.

Paypal // Venmo // Kofi

[timeoverload]

Today felt like it was never going to end. It didn't start very well. I woke up at 2:30 again this morning because I was having another coughing fit. I drank too much water before bed last night and I didn't prop myself up. I should know better by now but laying flat is a lot more comfortable. It's so hard to get comfortable in this bed as it is. I really need to get my acid reflux under control but that's probably not going to happen until I start eating a more balanced diet. It took me 45 minutes to stop coughing so that was annoying. I was so mad because I was sleeping really well until that happened. I think I fell back asleep around 3:30. I had some weird dreams about being at work in the dark again. I woke up at 5:30 which is later than I like to get up. I only had 20 minutes to lay in bed before I had to start moving so that sucked. I don't like having to move right away so that made me grumpy.

Unfortunately I felt like a zombie all day. I wanted to go home so bad. I felt disoriented and hungover but I haven't had alcohol in a long time. Caffeine didn't help at all. I was trying to avoid having lengthy conversations with people because my brain wasn't working. I am still feeling out of it but I feel better than I did this morning.

I also wanted to go home because my rib is bothering me and my back hurts. I have nothing to relieve my pain and I should be used to it by now. My rib was clicking more today and I think I irritated it when I was coughing this morning. It is feeling more tender in that area. It's hard to tell exactly where the popping sensation is coming from. I know it is most likely somewhere between my 8th and 12th rib. Ribs 8-10 are more susceptible to damage because they aren't connected to the sternum. They are connected to each other by cartilage. I don't think my rib got messed up initially by coughing because I don't remember having this issue after my last asthma attack. I think it's from lifting heavy pans and pushing and pulling carts all day. I also remember I was carrying a pan in decontam one day and accidentally running into the sink with it and jabbing myself in the side of my gut so maybe that has something to with it. I felt like I got the wind knocked out of me when I did that. I also have arthritis and I probably have vitamin deficiencies and that's taking a toll on my body so I'm more prone to injury. I just feel so beat up and sometimes I feel like I am rotting. I am glad I'm not having any other breathing issues so I don't feel like this is an emergency. I know that it's not dislocated completely otherwise I would be in a lot more pain. I don't notice it as much when I am resting. I am still planning on getting it checked out and I hope I can wait until Friday.

I still don't think I should be working but I am afraid to call in for some reason. I might tomorrow if I feel bad still. I always feel so guilty about it and I'm afraid I am going to get in trouble or something. I hate that I have more health issues than everyone else because it's embarrassing. I don't want to use my PTO. I know that I won't have enough left to cover my day off on the 25th if I do that because I would want to take more than 1 sick day. I don't want to use FMLA because it makes me feel trapped there. I don't know what to do. I just want to take care of myself. I don't want to be tough anymore.

It was a really busy day for me as usual. I don't even remember how many cases I had. I haven't been paying attention to that as much because I just expect there to be a lot to do all the time now. The days just blend together. Nothing too crazy happened. I had to stay 20 minutes late so I wasn't thrilled about that.

I ate breakfast but I didn't eat lunch because the cafeteria smelled like cat food since they were serving salmon. I picked up food on my way home but I got way more than I should have and I couldn't finish it. I feel so gross now.

The heat is also unbearable. My car didn't start to cool down until I was almost home. I hate this weather and I don't want to be outside at all.

I don't have much else to talk about. I am so sleepy and I need to relax now. I already got ready for bed so I don't have anything else I need to do so that's good. I'm going to try not to stay up late. I hope I feel more alive tomorrow and that it's a better day.

I hope everyone else has a good day tomorrow. Thanks for listening. 💖💖💖

[sarasa-cat]

A minor update on vagueblogged crisis-at-home mentioned last week:

One of my two cats has a habit of fucking around.

He has never been the most athletic creature but he likes to climb on things which is sometimes a cause for concern especially now as he grows older.

A week ago he climbed on top of some stuff that toppled over and he injured one of his back legs and was NOT willing to place weight on it which made it very difficult for him to walk or do much of anything.

(Note: neither of us saw the accident happen -- just the aftermath)

There was a long wait to get him seen at his vet (much less at any emergency hospital for animals) but I had assessed the best I could (sometimes my anatomy knowledge is useful) and felt no obvious breaks or dislocations, no joint destabilization (nothing was wobbly when manipulated or moved incorrectly -- he just didn't want to move any of it on his own), no severe swelling (requiring immediate ER attention), etc. My guess was that he had seriously pulled one or more muscles in his upper leg.

So we waited out the wait while physically carrying him to and from the litterbox, his food area, etc., every few hours.

Doc finally saw him 20 hours later (ugh, I know) and she came to all of the same conclusions I had come to but with far more medical certainty/knowledge. She him sent for x-rays on his leg and gave him pain meds. Radiologist took a day to get back to doc to confirm zero fractures but arthritis in knees (which we were already aware of but now had confirmed on x-rays).

Muscle strains and pulled muscles take a few days to calm down and then a few weeks or a month to heal. Torn ligaments are a different matter and take longer to heal (or require surgery).

Last week we needed to carry this cranky cat around for a few days while slowly coaxing him to try a few steps. Each day he got a little more confident and pain meds definitely helped.

Over the weekend we worked on stairs with him. Up was good. Down was .... nervous. Not sure if that was a physiological issue or psychological issue.

Yesterday he walked down an entire flight of stairs without prompting -- all on his own time for his own reasons -- which makes me further suspect this was only a muscular injury.

He had a ... constipation problem ... for a few days thanks to the sedative used during the x-rays but that finally cleared up yesterday.

Throughout all of this, he has been extremely affectionate and attention-wanting. He required a bit of baby-sitting for five days/nights.

Right now he's getting closer to normal but he still limits (for good reasons) what he will attempt to jump onto. That said, he has NEVER been a good jumper -- that just isn't who he is. He's never been the most agile of cats. But he likes to climb. Thus, it's a bad combination felt destined for an eventual injury. :(

...

Meanwhile, I have been a bit grumpy for the past 3 weeks dealing with an old (and once extremely severe/serious) injury that has flared up. Life has been ...uncomfortable...

So, given all of this, I am more exhausted than usual despite wanting to be outside enjoying late spring weather.

(limps off to make more tea)

I'm tired.

[nolanhattrick]

For the ask game, every multiple of 5.

bestie that's so many

5: what does your latest text from someone else say?

"This robot is trying so hard" in response to a youtube shorts link i sent

10: when is the last time you played the air guitar?

people actually do this??

15: do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

behind. always. i fucking hate getting my picture taken. froggie can attest to this after she made me get after i got BeReal

20: what is your greatest weakness; greatest strength?

damn we're going with the serious ones tonight aren't we? i like to think that, in face-to-face irl situations, i'm a good listener. i just fucking suck at responding. especially after my covid infection, i can't brain-to-mouth words anymore. the edit feature on imessage has helped this significantly since 99% of my interactions happen over that text platform but hooooooly shit i'm so bad at speaking

25: do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

i really like facetime but i fucking HATE looking at myself in the little window so i'll usually point it directly at my ceiling unless it's with One Specific Friend, mostly bc she's already seen me naked so her seeing me at Not My Best isn't a big deal and also like. idk i just fucking Hate My Face lol

30: stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? do the same with your left.

since i'm in bed and the only thing to my right is... the air. pumpkin is directly in FRONT of my right arm so i'll go with that. my phone is in front of my left arm.

35: to you, what is the meaning of life?

dude i don't even know. fuck around and find out. see more than twelve thousand trees. don't tell your friends they do too much yoga. own a cat. have at least one sex-induced medical emergency. confuse a seagull for an eagle when you're high as shit and get laughed at for it. drink a truly on the beach and watch the tide come in. eat so many cherries you shit yourself forty five minutes later and don't regret a single second of it. buy all of the notebooks you see in the bookstore and don't write in any of them. sleep outside when it's warm enough. take care of a houseplant. go far enough away from the city to actually SEE the stars. work with children. cry because of a dumb movie. breathe.

40: do you drive? if so, have you ever crashed?

yes: coming home from the seattle/tacoma metro area i got hit by someone going 90mph (145 kph) on the interstate. genuinely thought i was fish food that day.

45: what's the worst injury you've ever had?

probably the time i attempted rifle and caught it w/ my skull instead of my hands.

50: do you believe in magic?

eh

55: love or lust?

insert "why not both" gif

60: is there anything pink within ten feet of you?

yes, a couple things. a couple of bowls, a bag of potting soil, my sharps containers, some animal shaped erasers, a solid 50% of my sex toys are pink for some reason.

65: top five favorite blogs on tumblr?

peach, froggie, lou, steph, and vati

70: are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend?

i would choke me out without hesitation i do not understand how froggie tolerates me to be honest with you

75: what are the last four digits of your phone #

what are you a cop???

80: what size shoes do you wear

i don't know bc it's changed since i've started t and now none of my shoes fit

85: what's the last song you listened to?

i wanna get better by bleachers (title of my current wip comes from this song!)

90: you wake up to find that you're surrounded by mummies. they aren't doing anything, just standing around your bed. what do you do?

assume i'm dreaming and try to go back to bed

95: you just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. you have to depart right now. where are you going to go?

do i HAVE to??? i don't have a passport and i don't like airports :(

[saleintothe90s]

478. 93 things about 1993, part 4

(part 3)

(source)

18. ValuJet flies for the first time (October 26)

ValuJet's first flight was from Atlanta to Tampa on October 26, 1993. By 1994, the planes with their silly mascot on them had made 15 emergency landings! 1 On June 8, 1995 one of their ancient planes had an engine fire on the tarmac in Atlanta.

We all know what happened to ValuJet just 2 1/2 years later.

19. Kenneth Junior French kills 4 because of "gays in the military". (August 7th)

He got four life terms + an extra 35 years tacked onto his sentence.

Newsweek, February 8, 1993

20. Socks Mania

People went absolutely feral over Bill Clinton's cat, Socks. There was merch:

Such as this Socks cat food container (eBay seller passalong)

This Socks watch that I still remember seeing at my local Kmart in 1996. Yes, the battery was dead. (eBay seller ha-340226)

This socks doll I also remember seeing at Kmart on a family vacation in Ohio that I desperately wanted. (eBay seller 13navybeans)

I don't have the date on it, but here is a clip of kids petting Socks at Christmas.

21. Julia Roberts and Lyle Lovett get married (June)

When Roberts returned to the set of The Pelican Brief following her wedding, the cast and crew (including co-star Denzel Washington) threw her a party in which they all wore shirts that read: "He’s A Lovely Boy … But You Really Must Do Something About His Hair" on the back. 2

They only lasted til 1995, but they were cute together.

22. Base Closings (March)

Growing up, I thought this was the first time bases closed in the U.S., ever. No, a whole bunch closed just a couple of years prior!

(source)

23. Florida tourists killed

The state government ordered that all company logos be removed from rental cars, and it abolished special license tags for such vehicles. Rental car agencies now give customers detailed safety brochures in English, Spanish, German and other languages, and they play tape recordings with similar messages over the public address systems in their rental offices every five minutes. 3

There was even a bit in the SNL episode (hosted by Shannen Doherty) where Phil Hartman played Disney's Michael Eisner, alerting tourists that you'll won't get murdered in northern Florida where Disney is:

Hi, I’m Michael Eisner, speaking to you from the Magic Kingdom here in Orlando. You know, for the last few months, Florida has been victim to a terrible tragedy: the horrific murder of nine foreign tourists in Southern Florida. We here in Northern Florida express our sympathies.. to the families of those murdered hundreds of miles away.. in Miami, the capitol of Southern Florida.

8 tourists were killed in 1993. 4

24. Miller Clear

Faced with lackluster sales, the Miller Brewing Company has ended its market test of Miller Clear, the brewing industry's first clear beer. "We're not manufacturing it any longer for the near term," Eric Kraus, a spokesman for the Milwaukee-based brewer, said on Tuesday. "We had a tremendous initial trial, but repeat business was not necessarily as good." The beer that has been made will be sold, but no more will be brewed, Mr. Kraus said. In April, Miller began test-marketing its clear beer in Richmond, Minneapolis and Austin, Tex. 4

(there's some more about it on Weird Universe)

25. Tonya Harding's dress pops (January)

Earlier this year, a snap on her costume broke at the United States championships. At the 1992 Olympic trials, her blades were mounted slightly out of position, leaving her stranded with a broken axel. Skate problems also delayed her arrival at the 1992 Winter Games in Albertville, France, where she finished a disappointing fourth. By 1993, fourth was the best she could do at the United States championships. 5

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“ValuJet - Airlinefiles.” n.d. Accessed October 13, 2023. https://airlinefiles.com/valujet?showall=1.

“TBT: Lyle Lovett and Julia Roberts Got Married After Dating for Just a Few Weeks.” n.d. InStyle. Accessed October 14, 2023. https://www.instyle.com/news/tbt-julia-roberts-lyle-lovett-relationship.

Rohter, Larry. “Tourist Is Killed in Florida Despite Taking Precautions.” The New York Times, September 9, 1993, sec. U.S. https://www.nytimes.com/1993/09/09/us/tourist-is-killed-in-florida-despite-taking-precautions.html.

Clary, Mike. “Woman Confesses to Killing German Tourist, Police Say : Crime: She Reports Being Angered When the Couple Targeted for Robbery Would Not Stop Their Rental Car. A Third Suspect Is Held.” Los Angeles Times. September 11, 1993. https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1993-09-11-mn-34072-story.html.

Longman, Jere. “FIGURE SKATING; For Harding, Not All Sequins and Music.” The New York Times, October 26, 1993, sec. Sports. https://www.nytimes.com/1993/10/26/sports/figure-skating-for-harding-not-all-sequins-and-music.html. https://archive.ph/G5T63

[ellies-cycling-notes]

Day 11: Jordan Junction to Evitts Creek

Distance Covered: 76.72 miles

Total Time (including rests): 9:38 (7:51am-5:29pm)

Time spent riding: 6:34

Average Speed: 11.7 mph

Apples Eaten: 3 (jazz - 7.5/10, jazz - 6.5/10, jazz - 7/10)

Today's ride was a mix of good and bad. The riding itself went pretty well, staying on the C&O trail for almost the entire time. The C&O trail is a gravel path, so that's annoying, but it's still better than hilly paved roads. On the other hand, I did get a flat near the end of my ride, which kinda sucked, and even worse, I had to walk my bike for about 2.5 miles on a hilly hiking path because part of the C&O was closed off, and this was the only feasible detour. That detour is a large reason why my total time is 3 hours longer than my time spent riding.

There were almost no other bicyclists or joggers/hikers on the path today, so that was more relaxing. I spent a lot of the ride not thinking about anything and just enjoying the scenery. I am really tired out today, and am glad that tomorrow's ride is only ~68 miles. I did yoga, but I'm still going to do some more stretching, cause my legs are really hurting.

Notes on the Ride:

Counting sheep - I've started to count sheep as a way to fall asleep more quickly at campsites because I'd rather not just be laying in bed doing nothing for too long

More deer - I mentioned on previous days seeing deer once or twice crossing the path. Today, I lost count how many times there were deer right in front of me

Lots of wildlife - in addition to deer, I saw turtles, herons, ducks, frogs, cardinals, and even what looked like a wild cat. There're also a lot of bugs, but they're not the kind of wildlife I want to see.

Faulty pumps - I used my water filter multiple times today at pumps along the ride. However, some of the pumps didn't seem to want to work. I'd give them 20 or so pushes, and still no water would come out. Luckily, there's a pump every 3-5 miles on average, so when that happened I could just continue on to the next pump.

Bug in Mouth - I almost swallowed a fly that flew into my mouth as I was riding. Luckily, it got stuck on the outside of my teeth, and I was able to remove it.

Design Notes

Time loop

Possible Character roles (each player gets one, it influences what actions they can perform and what items they start with): captain, scientist, medical officer, engineer, security officer, navigator

Map: the map is a 3x5 grid of squares. The center square is the sleeping area, where all players start. Each room can have a player cap, which is the maximum number of people that can be in that room. The sleeping area has no player cap, but most rooms have a player cap. Here are some possible other rooms and possible player caps:

Cockpit - 2

Storage - 3

Escape Hatch - 1

Defense Controls - 1

Main Power Source - 3

Supplementary Power - 2

Emergency Power - 1

Food Hall - 4

Communications Room - 2/3

Meeting Room - no limit

Medical Bay - 3

Research room - 2

Brig - 2/3

Arms Supply - 2

Time events are what truly make this a legacy game, as they are the main part of the game which changes things from loop to loop. They are likely going to be necessary, despite the risks, in order to finally escape the time loop.

How serious do I want the game to be? If more comical, I can include more references, both to sci-fi in general and time travel specifically. For example: "time bandits" - a time event that steals an item; "it's bigger on the inside" - an event that removes the player cap for a room.

However, a more serious version would likely entice players who want to play the game more seriously, and take maximum advantage of things. In other words, I think it would be easier to apply a comical theme, but a more serious theme would better showcase what type of game it is.

Grid Delver

I also have a quick overview of the existing tiles in Grid Delver. Each tile is written out like this:

Tile Name - properties of tile; what level they first appear at; how common they are when they first appear; how much more common they become as you advance floors; whether they would be able to have points/gold on them in the new version; restrictions on how they might appead on the guaranteed path from start to finish

Tiles:

Floor - basic tile; level 0; high weight at start; low weight increase; can have points, can be on main path

Wall - block tile; level 0; high weight at first; grows slowly; no points; can't be on main path

Pit - deathtrap tile; level 0; medium weight at first; grows slowly; no points; can't be on main path

Mud - when you step on it, your next movement is skipped; level 1; medium weight at first; grows slowly; can have points; can be on main path

Ice - slide to the next tile after it when you step on it; level 2; low weight at first; increases quickly; can have points; can be on main path, but not on corners

Breaking Tile - a basic floor tile, but once you step on it, it turns into a pit on the next action; level 3; medium weight at first; medium growth; can have points; can be on main path

Jump - when you step on this tile, your next movement jumps forward, skipping a tile; level 4; low weight at first; slow growth; can have points; can be on the main path; but only if the next tile is not a corner

Quicksand - when stepped on, your next input must be "SPACE", if not, you die; level 5; low weight at first; fast growth; can have points; can be on main path

That's all for design notes. I know they might make a little less sense than usual, I just wanted to write down whatever was on my mind. I also didn't actually have much time to think about stuff, being too busy paying attention to scenery and then getting really tired.

I'm really looking forward to tomorrow, as I start the Great Allegheny Passage trail, which is much more of a dedicated bike path than the C&O trail. I've looked up a few bike shops so I should be able to replenish my supplies (mainly bike tube patches), and will probably also try to find a time to go grocery shopping, as I'm running low on bread, apples, and peanut butter.

Til next time!

Previous -- Today's Pics -- Next

[lastoneout]

To put it into perspective $65K a year before taxes is about $5k a month and if you know anything about how bad the cost of living is at the moment you can do the math and figure out that that's comfortable but still not really enough in some places or barely scraping by in others.

Like if you just want to have a semi-decent apartment with a bedroom or two that isn't infested with cockroaches, offering AC so garbage it's deadly and will force you to drop even more money on your own portable/window unites which cost hundreds of dollars and skyrocket your electric bill(you cannot forgo AC in a place where it hits 110F in the summer), and run by a landlord that couldn't care less about helping you with anything at all, you are going to be forking over $2.5-3K AT LEAST and that's BEFORE utilities, most places do not include water/trash/electricity/gas. If you want internet here that sucks slightly less but still genuinely sucks you're dropping over $100 at least every month(we drop more than that and have been having so many grey/black outs I can't even stream half the time which is literally my job, and we cannot upgrade to fiber without moving). A family plan for two people with phones that are falling apart is $250 a month and that will go up when our phones finally break since we can't repair them on our own. A small grocery trip will still run you into the $100s and my food stamps covering my stuff specifically only goes so far to cushion the impact. We put off fixing his car as long as we can unless it's something actually serious(hello giant crack in the windshield and cracked tail-light casing and squeaky break pads please don't cause any sudden problems T_T). And if the vet bill is over $1k well...guess we go into debt or pray the cat will be okay without the really expensive tests!

My fiance makes $64K and he and I are VERY lucky to live in a relatively cheap city in an apartment we found through a friend where we don't have to pay rent, just utilities and some minor maintenance, and we STILL cannot even afford to get married because I would lose my state insurance if we did(our combined income would put us *just* far enough over the poverty line to disqualify me) and have to switch to the one he gets through his work, and I had 15 ER and doctor's visits this month on top of two surgical procedures and I take like 20 medications, so like, we would go fucking bankrupt on the co-pays alone. Hell I had to give up on a medication that was life-changing because it's over $400 a month and since I'm on Medicaid I don't qualify for the coupon program and we just cannot fucking afford meds that expensive. I also don't qualify for disability because he can cover my needs more or less, which is insulting and degrading and fucking ridiculous. And that's not even taking into account HIS medical needs. He hasn't seen a primary care doctor in years, only just got diagnosed with ADHD after years of me pushing him to see a doctor, and every time he has an emergency he has to go to urgent care which charges him like $200 even when it turns out nothing was wrong. I really pray he never needs to go to the ER. We mask everywhere not just because we believe it's the right thing to do, but because we literally cannot afford for him to get sick.

Unless he starts making more money or I miraculously recover from the things keeping me from getting a traditional job we will never be able to afford a house. Idk if we'll ever even be able to move. His income being that high does mean I don't have to work and we can still live relatively comfortably as long as nothing serious happens, but most of that money is going towards bills and keeping me alive, and the month he lost his old job was the scariest month of our lives. We had ONE MONTH to get him a new one and we did, one that initially paid a little less but still enough, but if we hadn't? We'd be fucked.

As an additional tid-bit, he was making a little under that when we met living in Flagstaff, a MUCH more expensive area(if you want anything better than a studio you're forking over $5k+ on JUST rent at least) and I was still getting a smidge under $2k a month at my job or or less(hourly wages at a movie theater as a team lead), and we moved to Tucson specifically because that combined amount was nowhere NEAR enough to exist in Flagstaff. In Tucson it's a comfortable but not really enough income if you're lucky like we are. In Flagstaff it's fucking poverty wages.

$65K a year sounds like a lot and I won't pretend it doesn't give me some privileges other people don't have access to, I"m more financially stable than I've ever been in my entire life, and while I try to keep my purchases to things I want that also serve a purpose, I can afford nice things sometimes like a playstation or concert tickets, I can buy gifts for my friends and family for special occasions, but it is FAR from being rich, and depending on your area you're way closer to the people scraping by making $17 an hour than being even within the same fucking zipcode as a truly rich person.

I've met rich people(though usually not the family members actually making the money), and tbh the hallmark they share is def making huge purchases and wild life choices without a second thought because they don't have to give a single shit and acting really weird if you suggest that it isn't normal to do stuff like that. If you have a comfortable income but can't switch to a more expensive apartment for funsies or quit your job bcs you just don't feel like working there anymore money be dammed or idk take a month long vacation overseas without considering the cost at all you're probably rich. Rich people don't give a fuck about spending money, they don't think about it at all. If you have to think about what you buy even if you do have the money to buy it just to make sure you still have enough for your needs and a small savings on the chance things go south you are not rich. If you cannot survive more than three months without a job you are not rich. $65k a year is barely enough to survive ONE MONTH without a job, it is NOT rich.

People on tumblr please get some real class consciousness challenge, you're not attacking your enemy, you're attacking someone else in the muddy trenches with you who just happens to own a nicer rain jacket while the actual rich people eat snacks from their covered, heated patio wondering why you're all making such a big deal about money.

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

[pauljonelouns]

Baxter and Carol's School of Witch-Doctering

At the end of the third hour, all whiskey was ordered sour, that night, the game went on, going to the mornings wee hour; two pairs of the same kind became four of kind, no one laid down a flush; another said they saw a black cat but when the truth came out..... ….. … .. .it was only Madame Gwen who pulled the rabbit out of her hat.

This is where the nightmares come from.

At the third throw the air was humid and putrid at its toss, but it was made. The last bone in slow-motion came to a screeching halt, a final resting. Sitting in its own inertial reference frame so perfect, as if it was done somewhere else before, with someone else; but for me, this was brand new.

Only then, surprisingly, pulling my hands back and quickly away from the board did the third pylon emerge with strength, all the others showing no resistance at its becoming... .. .even with one bone missing it dominated the board.... .. ..something of the atmosphere appeared, moreover everything went sour.

At its discontent bringing forth a disturbing sound, gently, the tapping, the jingling together of what appeared to be beads dangling on strings; it all growing in a loudness, complementing itself from opposite sides of the room at the same time.

The standing shard of cement, maybe marble, what ever it was, as a tag along brought with it out of nowhere; immediately I keeled over clenching my stomach heaving up everything it contained,... ... also what it didn't. Blacking out, coming to, gasping for air, barely able to breath. A powdered stench of death generously filled my mouth and lungs desperately trying to get air.

The louder the beads got, the more I gasped, the more I fought, escaping into the crawl spaces in my mind as I laid helplessly crippled. Maggie appeared to be sitting on a chair next to the bed. Where did she come from I thought, how did I know her name was Maggie, I'd never seen her before this day or knew she ever existed.

She went to say something, did she want something from under the bed; all the other times she did. At the opening of her mouth to speak her teeth dropped out, they were all dangling on hair that looked as if it was growing out of her gums; it joining in quickly with all the other frictions in the air to produce the sounds ringing in my ears.

With the last of my strength I asked, "what is it honey? Glancing to underside of the bed trying to pull myself over, "what is it baby?" Slowly a head emerged from behind, over her shoulder, it quickly ripping her head off at the neck, furthermore it tearing her jawbone away in the opposite direction; what was coming through, filling the air, it was its breath.

Throwing her jawbone at me, I knew it was because I was short, the one bone disappeared... .. . It could have stolen or something. Protecting the other part of her, wrapped in its one arm so tight, listening to the bones break, crushing them at its will. I could only lay there in a silence to account for my end of the deficit hoping it wouldn't throw that at me also.

Whatever that fiasco was. Now on the rug face down, I managed to turn over onto my side. Staring in to space paralyzed, Oscar my cat came over, knowing none the better, he went on to eat some undigested food stuck to the side of my face. Stomach acids, blood and whatever was in me, a bound prisoner to the puddle of the whole stinking mess. Only after Oscar left did the roaches start, they were eating off the edge of the puddle, there was still quite a distance between them and me.

I was to due toss again, now, in less than 20 hours, maybe I'll give them a tooth out of Maggie's jaw or a little chunk, a sliver of the bone itself. Feeling lightheaded, drifting in and out of little naps; my strength will return saying to myself, all, in that I'm supposed to be at the board in less than a day for the next toss; I know they know right where I am and what state I'm in. I'd never seen Maggie before today; the feeling of knowing the unknown baffled me, and the feeling of her knowing my heart scared me that much more.

The light in the room, my vision was now hazy, fighting to keep my eyes open, they're gonna be here, this time they're coming in. I'll just rest them for a quick minute, no more than a few seconds, staying on my guard. Who knows, I have to find it, when I can walk though.. .. . I know I'll find it, I just need to look, maybe at the baseboard in between it and the carpet or maybe Oscar has it, it looked, for some odd reason like the femur bone of a mouse, .. .. .yeah, that's it, Oscar has it, if it's there I'll be home free on the next toss; as a consequence I'll opt out and hide for a while.

On guard, also vigilant, the haze of everything, Maggie, the day, it all drifting into one confusing pile to me. Finding myself looking down an dark, what appeared to be an alley or walkway, .. .I don't know. The sound from where I was seemed to be some type of industrial production taking place; wait, that looks, it is, it's a woman walking toward the fence, she's coming my way... . I'll ask her, she'll know where I'm at.

Getting closer, it was a secretary, she looked like Carol, now she was no more than 10 feet away, “hello Murry, we're so glad you decided to stop by.” Her face pale, dead, emotionless, moving closer now with a smile kissing me on the corner of the mouth, “it's been awhile stranger.” Whispering close to me, a sultry voice “I've got a small reward for all the deposits you made at the bank but we'll have to go inside though, I have a little place in there we can go to be alone.” Out of nowhere at the flip of switch she was of the human race and how in the hell did she get into all this, the mild mannered little Miss Portola.

Upon opening the door to the large warehouse, like breaking a great vacuum seal, standing behind Carol, we were hit with a wall, it was the smell of raw sewage, black sewage. Further in, Carol holding my hand as I walked with her, out of the blue her hand dissolved, turning to nothing as if it was never there at all. Being alone, the screams of those in the tubs got louder, bear-claw bathtubs.. .. .for as far as the eyes could see. Each row diagonally placed, the next row opposite to it, the zigzagged rows went on, appearing to be endless.

In each tub was a woman on her back with her legs draped up and over the edge like she was waiting for something, all of them bathing, wading in about 6 inches of sloshing raw black sewage. Some of their faces looked as if they were in the throws of passion, others in anguish and torment, some screaming, some trying to converse, thousands crying for help; listening to ones-self think would never enter the question.

In the sewage, near the drain part of the tub, it looked as if large worms where in a bitter match, the war with each other, all to gain access to the alimentary canal of their host. The worms no more than a foot long, some of their hosts laying back, incredible jostling in their abdominal-pelvic region, one woman stood up, looking my way, softly she says casually “Baxter.... .. . Baxter honey, I want this one to be special.” At that very moment her stomach ripped open, giving birth to a hundred or so smaller worms, collapsing into muck she was seen no more .

Puzzled at why she referred to me as Baxter, turning to my left, a well dressed man in suit and tie “Mr. Flowers, .. .. hello, my is Baxter.” Walking over, ice cold, more emotionless than Carol. Baxter comes to address me in a solid manner, “you are in quite of a dilemma Mr. Flowers, how do you suppose it will, or even more so, how will it be taken care of?” Carol quiet, right beside him like she was me, it was like she was some entity, an apparition, coming and going as nothing but particulates of atmosphere at her moments decision; mystified at the way she strummed my heart, I could be getting weak from all of this.

“Trailer Fuego was there, I don't know, maybe my cat took it.” Baxter looking over, in the distance, it was Maggie in the tub, .. .. .with her jaw-bone attached, she looked dead from all the dry blood around her mouth.

Boldly “We both know that our dogs never eat our homework Mr. Flowers; you're too simple of a mortal; find the bone or your next toss will be your last.”

“What's the cost for substitution?

“The same Mr. Flowers, there's no getting around us, it's our way or no way.. .. We thought by now the concept of that would be ingrained in the relationship of both our interactions; is there any part of us we didn't put forth plain and simple about what and who we are... .. .it was you who sought us not the other way around.”

Carol steps over to me, grabbing my hand once more, standing in front facing me, with her other hand, its backside caressing the side of my face. This time for sure I would take it all up on those bedroom eyes of hers, the way she touched, and it just the side of my face.. .and yet this place was suppose to be Hell.

“If it's any consolation to you Mr. Flowers, and we hope it would be, the warmth of Carols hand is actually a fresh puddle of bile and blood you just turned over into in your dream of this as you lie on the floor next to your desk waiting for your strength to return.”

Nervously “What is this place?”

“Are you referring to the thought of the first time you tossed? Is it you're still thinking of Cleopatra and a harem of eastern women to fan you both during your sexual escapades into the sunset? What kind of place did you want it to be Mr. Flowers?

Carol trying to drag me by the tips of my fingers, forward and off with her. Looking at her again, her face lost its middle-aged look, pulling me, “the room is right over there, come on, let's go!”

In less than a thousandth of second, be it a swirl of thought she carried me away with her in the same manner in which she showed up. It was board room though where executives meet and a bed being out of the question for us.

On the other side of the room though was a woman, a well dressed woman, an executive secretary of some type. A man walked in, he looked like a CEO, the woman standing there motioned him over with her finger. My heart started to pound, looking over to Carol, oh shit!... . .she was no where to be found.

After the two kissed for some, him unbuttoning her blouse, with her hand on the top of his head, slowly pushing him down onto his knees. Kissing the lower front of her skirt, with both hands he pushed it all up around her waist, her fingers combing through his thinned hair driving his hunger even more.

The front his face pushed up against the high waist of her panties, his lips now firmly planted around the shot-gun barrel clutched deep between her thighs; reaching around to the back of her legs with both hands, hugging her, his lips buried, tightly nestled down in the V her legs pressing, holding tight the barrel, with both of his thumbs pushing down on the trigger; all in a days work..... ….. … .simply without thought, …......he blew his head clean off.

Standing in a cold sweat freaked, I was now covered in a fine mist of blood, looking around once more for Carol; it was Baxter though, “Mr. Flowers,.. . .I can see you can use a little rest before going back; we can all tell you truthfully, Carol, well, she's led the highest of intellect to the most eternal of damnation, she's what one of you might refer to as the bread and butter type.

Finally, something other, nothing related to our interactions; just a comment about a woman, maybe we're getting somewhere.

“No, your thoughts are off Mr. Flowers, find the bone, toss and let the next time come about. Just follow me, we have an old storage room … … .. and get some rest will you.”

After a series of hallways and through a few rooms, opening a door, it was exactly what he said it was, just a storage room. Something in me was waiting for Carol to reappear; maybe she would stalk my dreams in a real sexy ghostly way. “Is that the only way or was there something else you had in mind?” invitingly she whispers.

Sitting up, not surprised though, “I never know where or when you'll pop-up, like now; should I keep a watchful eye to make sure I catch you when decide to come around,” gently and quiet,…...”but if I catch you, .. .. ...do we get to make love?”

“Love making isn't part of your being.. …. .we can more than both say, maybe fucking the shit out of me, wouldn't that be more like it?... . ..Does that sound about right? .. .. what is it, oh yeah, … … .Mr. Flowers.”

“What about floating around up top?” Deep inside my thoughts, she was deadly, her outer exterior nothing, just a facade compared to the Trailer Feugo she is. They don't expect me to find it, if they did, she wouldn't be here.

Again, with those bedroom eyes, “I'll set your heart at ease,” staring right through my heart, “how does this sound... … ...if you catch me.. .you get to fuck me,... ..are those okay apples or what?”

Looking at her, watching her particulate and leave before I could smile at what she said. I laid back down exhausted, my eyes closed fast, for how long I don't know. Abruptly waking though to board sliding up, touching my back, I was now laying on something silk, a pillow under my head, there were sounds of people crying, three more boards slid up around me, one at my head and feet and the other, to my front side; I was now in a box with a lid closing over me.

Listing to someone say, “he's in a much better place now,” the lid to the box I was in, it being cranked down tight. Feeling myself being spun around on some wheels in a different direction, I heard the igniting of large oven, the gas appeared to be on high, it was loud, like being fortified with oxygen.

“Charlie, my card reads 0925 on the oven, what's yours on the box?”

“Roger that, it's the same.”

The people were crying much louder than before. I felt myself move again on the wheels, listening to the oven door opened, it felt as if I was shoved around on some rollers, hearing the door once more, they closed it, the sounds of the people disappeared; all the sudden it was fiery sounds as the gas went on high, the box I was in, it quickly filled with smoke: …. … .I WAS BEING BURNED ALIVE!! Banging, yelling as loud as I could, there was no one to listen through the flames; opening my eyes once more, one last look at life,.... …. ..and there was Oscar, I felt him licking something off of my forehead, I was banging my forearm against t he desk, the roaches were scattering. Panicked, jumping up and went right to Oscar's pillow and rummaged around but it wasn't there.

The Search:

On my way to the kitchen, thirsty, I started to hyperventilate uncontrollably, falling down twice before being able to grab the counter, when I did, falling back down, I don't know how long I was out. Upon waking, trying to straiten my body, it cramping, my stomach hurts so bad. Looking to the clock on the wall, there's 16 hours left till the next toss... .. ..It doesn't look to positive.

Finally, standing, being able to get on my feet but for no more than a few seconds, grabbing a tube crackers out of the cupboard, crawling to refrigerator, at opening the door, my heart surprisingly rose to all time contentment at almost a whole 2 liter of 7-up at eye level right at the bottom, I didn't have to reach far. After eating the crackers, holding down them and the soda, listening closely for the sound Trailer Fuego's dangling teeth, but nothing.

Once I was able to walk, nervously digging through everything visible, looking between the pages of every and all stray pieces of paper. All the way to looking in the over-hang of the zippers on the couch cushion covers; still nothing, it's now 10pm, I now have a 12 hour shelf life to my expiration.

Right now, less than half a day left. Feeling the gradualism, the onset of a metaphoric white hallway with only one door all the way at the end of a 50 ft stroll. Only then does a person see it leads to a sealed air-tight chamber and the distance of its location is for the safety of those who drop the pellets. They see my fears, Trailer Feugo set me on fire in a cremation, letting me listen to every inch of journey while promising me rest.... .. .I am so fucked.

Stopping by the bar, maybe just a double or two, Whoa, Kerry's on, that's cool, I wonder where Tim's at, the both, the dynamic duo of bartenders at my service, and boy do I need them right about now.

“What'll it be stranger? LOL, wait, let me guess, it looks like you had a rough day,... .. .so.. . .we'll skip the formalities moreover the pitcher of martini's taking you strait to the Manhattan's... .. ..does that sound about right?” All in the usual of her giggling hospitality for those who happen to show up on a regular basis.

Too tired to match her enthusiasm, “you bet-cha kiddo, I couldn't have said it better.”

“That bad huh?” Along with the fattest Manhattan I'd ever slurped down real fast, she backed it up with a double of back bar gin.

“Oh my good woman, you really know how to set a man strait.. .. or well,.. .. .at least get him drunk in a flash.”

Paying her, I went to sit over near the juke-box waiting for someone to put something on; wait!! I heard something rattle, it's them; and then a cup slammed down on the bar, it was just the bartender was playing some liars dice with a customer for the jukebox.

Finishing my drink, it was just after midnight, being frayed right now in every way shape and form on all edges, stepping through one threshold, blocked off and pushed down to cross another, it's become one big maze I'm having trouble seeing my way through; finding my way has never been in the equation.... …. I should watch the sun rise just in case; deciding at the moment, I better get Amy to watch Oscar.

Back at the apartment, putting Oscar in an old cardboard box, grabbing a bunch of cat-food; and in my heart giving him one last, “so long old buddy, its been nice,” Amy only lived a few doors down.

It was about 3:30 in the morning. Knock-knock, “who is it?”

“It's Murry, I need to speak with you.” It sounded as if she was already awake for how fast she got the door.

“Murry.. . . of all times of the day,.. .. .do you know what time it is?”

“It's kind of an emergency, I wouldn't ask but, check this out... .. .I need you to watch Oscar for me, … .. .until I get back?”

Having pity on me, “Get in here,” she took Oscar out of the box, in a mother-ease voice speaking to him, he was right at home.

“What's going on Murry?” The first place Oscar headed to was the kitchen so I knew he wasn't stressed.

“I would be the first to tell you, sincerely, It's personal... . .I really fucked up this time and there's no way out.”

“I know what it is.. .. .you've been play with that witch-doctor game and it's got your mind all messed up.”

“Truthfully, .. . I lost one of the bones and they're out to get me, you really have to be there Amy. It would blow your mind 6 ways from Sunday about what goes on, it's a whole different realm, I don't have the words to explain it.”

Changing the subject, softly she asked, “what do you think of my new night-gown?”

Looking at it, my head down some, “you really make the lace nice,.. . really nice you know.”

Sitting closer to me, seductively, “is that all Murry, .. . . do you mean to tell me that pervo-sicko mind of yours has kicked a spring?” Oscar hopped up on the arm of the couch to be petted, but she was right in commenting about the game. “I don't have to be to work until 9, lets cuddle for a while” her face leaning over to kiss me.

“If I get back tonight, right now, .. .. .I am so dumb-founded about.. . . who knows. When I get through this, how about dinner and .. . . .what-ever, we'll come right back here, then I'll pour on the affection with even extra, but not tonight.... . . . Is that alright?”

Sarcastically in a down voice, “spoil-sport.”

“I have to go,... . . .your really gonna love Oscar. At the door, “thanks again Amy.”

Outside, the false dawn was clearly visible, out of everything Oscar was the only priority to take care of. It was starting to darken back up some, the skirt in the distance of whoever getting in their car reminded me of Carol; it would be light in about an hour.

In the apartment, the carpet was ruined, the whole place smelled of rotting vomit; the one shard on the board, the main one, it was the largest, having the look and feel of fire red heated steel. Bagging up, a couple bags went to the trash with personal information in them. I was preparing to die.

The toss was at 10am. I wasn't about to re-look, besides half of it was thrown out. Wait! .. . .I didn't check the vacuum bag, maybe it was picked up! My heart sank, nothing, .. .. .Oscars littler box was tossed also; I know beyond a shadow of a doubt its not under or in the couch.

Again, sitting back, doing my best to keep my eyes open, the lids, heavy, feeling my vision starting to blur, night-fall, I'm drifting. “Oh Mr. Flowers... . . .I sure can't believe my eyes, you know why,” Carol seductively asks.

Humbly, “no, why is that?”

“Because I don't have any to see with!” A claw or maybe two of them, swiping at me, she cut my face; snapping me back out of entering sleep. The time was 9:45.

At the chime sound for 10am, not only was the one bone missing, another one was gone also; the toss was made. I couldn't help but wait, anticipating my fate to Trailer Feugo, but nothing and no-one showed up, this time wasn't like last. Thinking, before all goes bad, I know, I'll go visit mom one last time.

Walking through the gates of Ever Resting Memorial Lawn was way fucking eerie, it'll never be the same ever again. They really took care of the place here, moms little plot was always had a thick plushweed free grass,... .. . the stuff prize lawns are made of.

Sitting back against her stone just thinking, there was the woman again. Getting up, walking closer, so close I introduced myself, “hello, my name is Murry.”

“So it is.” she responded. Going to her trunk she got out a blanket and a coupleof pillows.

“Aren't you going to tell me your name?” she said nothing, her arms were full, “you can make one up if you want, how does that sound, hey, get this, I think I saw you this morning at about, what, about 4 or so.

“You were you were tired and mis-perceived, here take these,” making me carry her things, well I suppose it's not all that bad. “My name is Jennifer.” she finally shared.

After a bit of walking around, “where are we going with these?”

Giggling, “I thought you might know, where were you sitting when you saw me at the car?” -

“Hey!, I'll show you where my mom is.” Taking the blankets and pillows back from me at her stone, “so this is it huh?” The woman spreading the blankets out over my moms plot, propping the pillows up against the stone, she lays down motioning me beside her.

The blood in my veins circulated on tilt crawling up close to her, laying with her on top of a grave, my mothers grave. One kiss led to another, getting in, real informally close, thinking about the zipper to her skirt, she gets up. Up at the front of the grave, she went into a little dance routine as I laid back on the pillows taking in a birds eye view of her rolling her hips, teasing me, making it all fire hot.

In the center of the blanket, laying back wanting her, maybe, it looked as if she would come back over laying down, wanting her on top straddling my hips as we kissed. My arms opened for her on the blanket, surprising!! something right then clamped my wrists and hands down to the grass, I can't move!! Before I could move my legs, they were clamped down also!!

She was still dancing, her facial features rolling in and out of the looks of different women in an unexplainable tormentive evilness .. .. furthermore there she was in the darkness that was upon me form before, it was Carol all along.

In less than a split second, 4 spaced out large bowed sickle blades came up from out of the ground arching over my body from the side. The first came down to quickly cut my feet off at the ankles, the second sliced me in half at mid stomach, another chopping my legs off at the knees, the final, decapitating my head at the neck. From the last of my sight, my mothers grave, two double doors opened inward dumping my body, welcoming it through one of the many gates of Hell one might never think about.

At the lifting, the closing of the doors; DING-DONG, and then again, DING-DONG, rolling over in bed, “babe.. .. are you expecting someone?” she groggily asked

Ella, jumping up out of bed lightning fast, “Oh Shit! ..” putting on her robe, “Dave and Katherine! We're setting up for the barbecue.” Taking off to get the door, no one was there, but a delivery person left a package for me. Honey.. .. .Honey!, hey, there's package here for you!, I'm gonna open it to see what it is alright?” Giggling, surprised when she saw what it was, “when did you order this?”

Held in anticipation, now, wide awake, “well,.. . .what is it babe?”

The box reads, “Baxter-Carol's School of Witch-Doctoring: Throw Bones With The Best Of Us And See What Trailer Feugo Has In Store For You.” Laughing, she set the game on the nightstand and went over to the dresser, “Oh babe, did you know you were yelling loudly in your sleep last night?”.... . . Kindly looking over from the mirror, untangling her hair with a brush at the same time. “Um.. .Uh... .. . honey, who's Amy?”

“Baby, this is all I know, moreover I'm telling the absolute truth. .. . .In my dream I was having her watch a cat named Oscar that we don't own, and I've never met an Amy ever at all in real life, never ever babe; last night I don't dare try to explain, those dreams were horrible and nightmarish.” Walking over, kissing her on the back of the head “you know I love you so much, I would never hold back something like that to you,” locking my eyes to hers in the mirror, one more kiss and I took off for the shower.

On the drive to work Monday morning, discretely disposing of the game in a drive-by donation box for a Beta-Thrift. At home that evening as I walked in the door a little cute kitten came running up to my feet.

Looking over to Ella in the dinning room she excitingly asks “guess what I named him?”

The End

Disclaimer: All persons portrayed are fictional characters also portrayed as legal adults, any resemblance to anything or person in this fictional story is merely coincidence.

Inspired by Mr. Edgar Allen Poe and his short story “The Tell-Tale Heart.” Furthermore, the Grandfather of Hades himself, Mr. Clive Barker also the Fascinating H.R. Giger

[egodeatth69]

i hope nobody follows me and is active. i dont know where to say things so i am now sad posting on my old tumblr account

i am now 21 years old and i am now living in my 3rd apartment. every time i move i move in with strangers my age. i have had terrible terrible luck every time i move somewhere. in my first apartment, my roommates dog wanted to slaughter my kitten so i was stuck in my room 24/7. my second apartment, my roommate sent both of my cats to the emergency room in a 9 month period, which resulted in me being out 4k which she will not give me any money for. i am now in my 3rd apartment and i just sit here and wonder what it will be this time.

my bedroom door is right next to a girl's bedroom door and i feel as if she doesnt like me already. ive only been here for 6 days at this point and she has been very short with me. she goes to bed at 10pm and waits until ive left the kitchen to leave her room. i havent been mean to her and i dont think ive done anything wrong. i have two cats and i told her i did, (i got matched with them because they said they were okay with living with pets) and she said that shouldnt be Too much of a problem. i do not know what i have done wrong so far, but i feel trapped. i feel trapped in my room again and i feel as if she is hostile.

is she actually hostile? or am i letting my trauma take hold of the situation too soon?

there is no space in the kitchen and i am too scared to ask if they can make some. there are two toasters sitting on the counter and a baking mixer. am i just scared for no reason? should i become hostile too? im worried if i say something she'll get upset with me. or should i just take it?

i got a storage unit 20 minutes away because there is genuinely no space for anything. the things i usually cook with (crockpot, big pot, etc) are being stored away because there is no space. im frustrated because i recently found a love for cooking. am i making myself small because somebody here is deemed, to me, to be big?

i feel as if i cant stay up past 10pm and talk to my friends online. or have people over to spend the night. or do things that i often do that make me happy. and i understand she wakes up early and goes to bed early, and that there's physically nothing she can do, but i feel as if. i am just. stuck. my cats are going crazy being cooped up in my room and i want to let them roam around the apartment but she shuts my door while im gone and my cats lose access to their litter box and food. after thought, it wouldnt be rude of me to ask them to not shut my door. that is a normal thing to ask.

i havent used tumblr in years but i just wanted to put this somewhere so i could get it out of me because i feel frustrated and alone. so so frustrated and alone. and trapped. i hate feeling trapped.

but. all i can do is sit here and work on my own things.

maybe i wont modify my lifestyle to try to appease to her the way i want to. maybe i will continue to do my things, and be respectful of course, but i am a roommate and this is my apartment too.

needless to say though, this is my last time having a roommate. i cannot keep doing this. these are the 6th and 7th roommates ive had and i just . am coming to find out i perhaps was not built to have roommates.

[bogleech]

I got this one in the early 90's when I was still in public school, and they took us to the Natural History museum in DC. I saw it in the gift shop and was ECSTATIC because I thought fleas were the coolest looking animals ever and I still do. It's specifically supposed to be a cat flea and is accurately detailed! I've seen from photos that a smaller version was produced, but I've never seen it. This would be the only lifelike plastic flea I'd see for many years.

This simple, solid black one was part of a set that included lice, ticks and a bedbug! The set was also the first thing in my life I ever ordered from the internet, with my mom's help, when I was about 12 or 13ish and computers were a new thing to both of us. I still have them all but we're talking about fleas now. It's cute, though it's also fat and round which isn't quite how a flea is. Fleas are flat like skinny fish!

I never saw another plastic flea until over 20 something years later(!!!) even though I was always on the lookout for them, and finally found this cheap veterinary reference model only a few years ago. It's a block of model skin with a fairly crude rubber dog flea glued to it, which I left as-is. The translucent yellow glob represents an infected flea bite. Oh no! The rascal.

Now early this very year I found another really accurate one, originally from gachapon machines! It's such a lovely red, and the front legs for whatever reason are articulated to raise up and down as one piece.

A few months later I got another gacha machine flea, now the most "real" looking that I own, which is owed heavily to its beautiful translucency. This is specifically a "human flea," actually a fairly rare pest in the modern world, but adapted enough to human hosts that they aren't as spiny and bristly as the fleas adapted to furrier mammals!

Now finally LAST WEEK I got this odd one for a few dollars on eBay, which was probably a promotional item for flea medication. It's pretty decent, though the body is lacking a lot of detail, a single middle leg is missing and the nubby antennae are mistakenly painted like a second set of eyes. It has a little metal loop so you can hang it up!

Here are some flea facts:

They are related to scorpionflies, which aren't related to much else. A whole insect group is pretty much just these two completely different types of weird guy!

Fleas have no trace of wings left, not even nubs, but are one of nature's most powerful jumpers. Why didn't they just keep wings then? Because wings would easily break off in the fur of a host! Leaping is the next best way to get on and off their food source.

Most fleas don't live directly on the host but reproduce on the ground, where they even deposit excess blood to feed their scavenging larvae!

Only a few fleas will really readily bite humans, and most can't reproduce long term on human blood. This is also true of other bloodsucking arthropods, they all lean a little host-specific

Fleas are among the insect groups that make silk! The larvae spin a cocoon, and its sticky surface collects bits of sand and dirt for protection and camouflage.

Once a flea pupates, it can wait for months until it detects a host and then instantly emerge from its cocoon.

Fleas are completely unrelated to and nothing like lice, which are a different insect group, or ticks, which are arachnids. None of these have wings either, but lice and ticks never learned to jump! Dummies!

Cat and dog fleas are used by tapeworms as vectors. The tapeworm larvae emerge when the flea is accidentally swallowed by the animal's grooming behavior. Dog tapeworms are exceptionally dangerous to humans, do not eat dog fleas without cooking them to a safe temperature as recommended by the FDA

Why was there a 20 year gap in my collection, which suddenly doubled in only this year alone? Did interest in artificial fleas surge in 2024?? Well it should keep surging. I don't want to wait until I'm 60 to find another one.

I'll also be pretty pissed if I'm 60 before there's a flea in Pokemon 😞

All the realistic plastic fleas I now own. There's one more variety out there but it's part of a veterinary model set that costs over $100 😡

Do you want me to tell you about every single one individually

[noro-noro-noro]

had dreams

1. some really wack version of lobotony corporation that was more like a platformer rpg. it was mostly dark green and black.

1.5. I'm PRETTY sure my ex was there, or SOMEBODY I'd had romantic relations with in the past. it might even have been just a shifting person. it was really really sweaty & I meant to change into my tank top to chill but I couldn't find it, only increasingly weird articles of clothing that didn't fit, & I think whoever it was was getting impatient. when I finallu just put my pajamas shirt back on and went back inside the main room he was gone. this is a 1.5 bc I think it did somehow transition from dream 1 to dream 2, like I left the room & my mom & sister were planning.

2. my mom and sister randomly proposed a one week trip to Japan startong do k next Monday. when I got there we were meeting up with our other siblings. and also my friend para for some reason. there was torrential downpour but I was wearinging some kind of black long sleeve long skirt velvet dress, so it was heavy and felt bad to wear. our othwr siblings included 2 brothers both older, like late 20s early 30s.vonw of them looked like my oc mires if you fused him with Henri Iruma. without the cat ears. there was another sister too but she didn't show up yet. I didn't know my older brothers at ALL so I introduced myself hoping they would do it back and they didn't. things were kind of awkward. we were eating in this cavernous church area split into 5 mini restaurants all under the same hat but where you sat dictated what food you were eating off which of the 5 menus. the tables were also spaced very far apart. one corner was an emergency shelter from the bad storms. anyway our original seat there was a skylight way way up there above us that like had too much water so it wobbled back and forth and water splashed down all the way on us. we got drenched but when it did it again we dodged it. the soggy velvet dress fept terrible so we moved to a new seat, but rhey didn't compensate us. I also didn't understand the orderin process . then i woke up

[ecodweeb]

Dudley the Cat: An Electric Rescue Transport Tale

People who do transports for rescue pets are a special kind of people. We are gritty, resourceful, resilient, and above all patient. What we thought would be a fun day that started with an IKEA trip and ended with a happy adopter turned into an experience that I won’t soon forget. Buckle up, this story’s about one of the more mentally challenging transports I’ve done, but let me preface with: none of my stress came from locating or using charging stations, at least not until the home stretch...

Dudley’s original route had me picking him up in Charlotte (164mi from home), which is where our local IKEA is. We are in need of a Lack floating shelf, and I’m always slowly replacing all the plastic food containers with IKEA glassware ones. My bestie Brad decided to tag along, and he was considering a small desk if it’d fit in the car with the carrier. Unfortunately, as we rolled out the door just after 9:30 in the morning on Saturday the 11th, we had no idea that we were not going to go anywhere near IKEA today...

About 20 minutes before we reached the Siler City Smithfield Chicken-n-BBQ, a location with a ChargePoint 62kW Charging station, my phone rang. I answered and it was Joan, the transporter ahead of the guy I was to meet in Charlotte. She tells me that the transport is already running a half hour late because the shelter staff were late opening up today and that the driver who was meeting her in Hickory to drive the cat to Charlotte has had a family emergency and cannot continue the trip. She asks me if we could meet somewhere between Asheville and Charlotte, and she happened to suggest Statesville. I said let me do some gameplanning and I’ll call you back.

I cancelled the nav and told Google to take me to the Electrify America in Statesville. We were just under 2 hours away from there, with ample range. We glanced at the EA app, all 4 stations show as working and available (being a Saturday, I worried about stations filling up - what a silly worry that was in retrospect). I called Joan and told her we were headed to Statesville and that I’d text her an address and the name of the restaurant we were headed to. We arrived to one station in use, and a Polestar plugging into the other 150kW station. A 350kW it is, and I said a small prayer that no eGMP platform Hyundai or Kia shows up and wants to say something about a slow car using their charger... The Polestar was either unhappy with the charging speed, or maybe they had a problem, but they got out of the car as I pulled up and moved to the other 350kW stall to charge.

We placed a to-go order online with the restaurant, it was ready and waiting when we arrived. We had about a half hour between our arrival and when Joan would arrive with Dudley - which was about the time the car said it’d take to reach 80%. The cat hit 80% right as Joan pulled up, we got Dudley situated in my car and she asked a few questions about my car. She said that when I told her we were plugged in an eating, she expected to see a Tesla, and the all-to-commonly heard “I didn’t even know Hyundai made a fully electric car.” I told her they make three, but only two are actively available as the third just started production, and that Kia sells three models, and Genesis has one model. She was very surprised to find this out, and I suspect she might have gone home to go some Googling about the cars after she got home.

We chatted long enough to add 3% more to the battery, and I said we needed to get going as we knew we had rain we were going to encounter, and I didn’t want to add to my already super-long day by getting caught in an accident backup. Did I mention that I was wearing shorts and flip flops? I didn’t catch that the temp was going to be dropping with the rain in the forecast, and this was going to prove to be my biggest mistake yet.

The drive to Columbia was painless with the Lane Keep Assist and Active Cruise Control. Dudley was rather quiet, he’d wake up and chatter for a few minutes and then settle back down and sleep. We called Joan, and Kim who arranged this whole thing, to let them know what’s going on. We made it to Columbia right on time and charged for 35m to 80% and took off. It had started to rain when we arrived in Columbia, and the dark skies were a mere omen of what was to come. This was the only stop where my tried-and-true start the charger from Android Auto didn’t work. I had to plug in first, then the station responded to the app request to start a charge. Usually it will switch to a “Plug in here” screen, but today it wasn’t wanting to cooperate that way.

Dudley was, in hindsight, a good luck charm. By the time we reached Pooler - which the GPS took me to the middle of town and not the Walmart where the chargers are like I’d asked it - we were below 10% state of charge. It’s only 160-miles from Columbia to Pooler, but our efficiency had dropped from 4.1mi/kWh to 3.8mi/kWh. We plugged in and handed Dudley off to Ronda, who was taking him on the next leg to his adopters. Brad decided this was the stop that he was going to go into the Walmart and walk around because we had a solid 45 minutes before we would be charged up enough to go to Lumberton. Inside we bought a car towel (a towel that stays in the car), a hot dog for me, some waters, and he bought a hoodie. Neither of us had brought cold weather clothes because... it was 72F yesterday. We forgot it was false spring in the south!

Once we hit 80% we unplugged and headed north. It was between Pooler and Florence that I realized we had a very strong headwind (15-20mph sustained based on Windy app’s historical data, with gusts up to 40mph). We were not going to make it to Lumberton, as our efficiency had further dropped to 3.5 since we’d left Pooler. Ok, no worries, we’ll stop in Florence and top off and then make it home -- it’s only 155 miles. Yeah, well, best laid plans...

We left with a 31 mile buffer and by the time we’d passed our last exit with a charging station on I-95, we had a 5 mile or less buffer. Once we hit I-40 I killed the climate control to add 3 more miles and re-routed from home to the EVgo off Highway 64 that’s about 4 miles from my house. Plugshare showed it was in use, but I figured by the time we got there in an hour it would be free. Unless it’s broken and reporting in use, so I asked Google to show me charging stations neaby and that was less than helpful as I hadn’t picked the plugs in my preferences so it was showing me lots of Tesla stuff that I can’t use.

As the range estimate drops to within 1 mile of the miles to destination counter, I opened EVgos app to see the status of that station. Much to my surprise, despite having written about it in the state of charge report,  the app showed two stations in Garner as available. Fantastic, they���re only 18 miles away vs the 28 miles to the other one and we’re at 27 miles of range left. As soon as I exited I-40 and got onto 70, I defrosted the windows and then turned the heat back off. At 8% we got the low battery warning (which, to me, is really really really low to be giving a first warning), but the cruise control didn’t disengage. At 5% the car went into turtle mode, and I was being very gentle with the throttle. Did I mention the temp had plunged from 41F to 36F? Oh, and the rain had picked up too. It was miserable outside -- and I’ve got flipflops on, remember.

I pulled into the parking lot, I can’t find the chargers. I pulled up plugshare and tapped the pin to get GPS coordinates. We go to the other side of the parking lot. I still see no chargers. This parking lot is also exceptionally dark with no lightning whatsoever. It was about this time that Brad woke up, he’d been asleep since 10pm and it was now almost 2am, and he assisted me in trying to figure out where in the parking lot these chargers were before the car ran out of charge entirely. Keep in mind, first long trip with this car so while I expected something like this, I didn’t expect these exact circumstances.

Thankfully Plugshare users took lots of photos and I was able to see the stores in the background of the stations. I asked google to take me to Sally Beauty, it wanted to send me to one 7 miles away. I asked about another business, again it was 4 miles away. Finally I said “where is gamestop?” and it said 300ft away! YES. Ok. Turns out the stations were on the other side of the Ford we’d stopped next to. The lot was so dark, the rain was so intense, that we couldn’t see them. I pulled up and plugged in, having taken my keys with me so I can use my ChargePoint RFID card to start the machine. Except this is a new Delta charger I’ve never seen before, and none of the locations that look like they’d accept a phone or card tap are working. I open the EVgo app, I don’t have a payment method attached to my account and the only option is a credit card - no Google Pay, No PayPal, just manually enter a credit card. At this point I cursed outloud and the guy who was smoking leaning against the door of one of the stores in this strip mall looked up then went back to his deadscrolling.

I opened the ChargePoint app, and it immediately had the named charger I was plugged into pulled up. I tap start charge, and I hear the machine make a thunk sound as a relay opened. The screen moved from how to pay to initializing. I said a thank you prayer, hopped back in the car, and cranked the heat to 78 to thaw my poor feet. I wasn’t taking any chances, even though we were only 9.6 miles from my driveway I charged until it estimated 40 miles and then we left. We pulled into the driveway at 2:32am. Exhausted. Frustrated. But also thankful that we didn’t have a flat tire, we didn’t end up needing a tow truck, and that really everything worked out -- I also know what the limitations of the car are in some of the worst possible conditions. 

After sleeping a solid 8 hours, and eating some food and watching Transport Evolved’s News Roundup program, and lamenting the EVgo experience ... my husband pointed out all the good things about this trip. We were not one of the many vehicles we saw spin off the road and need a tow truck. We didn’t get a flat. We didn’t end up getting stranded, and honestly 4% isn’t as low as I’ve rolled up to a charger before. So all in all, a win. Especially when I got this photo of Dudley with his new dad.

Final Thoughts

I think about what could I have done different to have made this better. One of the thing is letting the car take the additional 20 minutes to get to 90%. If we’d waited to 90% in Florence, the storm would have been a little farther ahead of us and perhaps the wind wouldn’t have been as bad. At a minimum the panic of finding a last minute charging station (and, hey, what a miracle one was there that I needed that wasn’t there 6 months ago) would have been avoided. So I will now rethink my trip strategy with the Kona, and I also realized that because it’s “so slow” to charge that I’m not limited to Electrify America’s network -- we’d intended to start this trip off using a ChargePoint. However, I partake in a lot of consumer surveys and put all the visa gift card balances into my Electrify America wallet. I haven’t actually paid for a charge with them since October of 2022, and I have over $50 left in my account wallet after this trip.

Speaking of cost, the total cost in DC charging on this trip came to $55.46 with an additional $6.97 to refill the battery from my home charger. Over 793 miles we had 6 charging stops: Statesville (43m, 33kWh, $10.39), Columbia (36m, 32kWh, $10.61), Pooler (51m, 53kWh, $6.61 - this location billed by time), Walterboro (33m, 27kWh, $9.04), Florence (43m, 40kWh, $13.39), and Garner (EVgo, 14m, 13kWh, $5.42). Every single station we plugged into worked on the first plug in attempt, and only two (Columbia and Garner) deviated from the normal/quick procedure to start a charge - but they started nonetheless.

It was a long day for a good cause, and even with the headaches at the end of the route I was smiling about having been part of another rescue effort. I have greatly missed doing this as most of the groups I worked with folded during Covid, and this is probably the first transport I’ve done in over two years. Here’s hoping the next one is a lot shorter, something more like 400 miles round trip...

Someone is going to read this and think “man this would have been much faster in a gas car,” and that’s probably true. It also would have cost a lot more, and frankly I needed a day with my best friend cracking jokes and smiling as only we can do on a long road trip. Despite the panic towards the end, for the most part this trip was enjoyable and rejuvenated my soul. I’ve come to expect that nothing in my life is going to go smooth or according to plan, being a Memphian I was born with the grit, tenacity, and agility to see these situations through. Besides, this was a transport for a cat -- taking it from North Carolina to Georgia  -- nothing about this would seem right, normal, or sane to anyone who considers themselves any of those adjectives.

[shygryf]

I posted 2,101 times in 2022

That's 271 more posts than 2021!

78 posts created (4%)

2,023 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@parvuls

@27dragons

@knottahooker

@zim-tits

@tisfan

I tagged 389 of my posts in 2022

#omgcp - 189 posts

#meme - 35 posts

#shygryf memes too much - 34 posts

#cats - 29 posts

#quiz - 25 posts

#art - 22 posts

#ask me stuff - 21 posts

#shygryf cooks things - 14 posts

#it's what's for dinner - 9 posts

#mermay - 8 posts

Longest Tag: 113 characters

#1)lots of characters of color and various gender presentation including but not limited to extras and minor roles

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Quote for the mini fic ask!!

"We are such stuff as dreams are made on, and our little life is rounded with a sleep.”

The Tempest, William Shakespeare

Ooh nice one!

This brings to mind a domestic zimbits fic, something fluffy and slice of life wether them just starting out together or looking back at how far they have come. Because if you told 13 year old Jack or Bitty what their lives would be neither of them would dare to dream it was possible.

5 notes - Posted May 27, 2022

#4

Pass the happy! 🌻🌈 When you receive this list 5 things that make you happy and send this to 10 of the last people in your notifications! 💚 - WrathoftheStag :)

I tried to do a whole year of things that make me happy at

But I only made it to the middle of April. I'll try again next year . Hopefully without so much food

But some happy stuff:

A friend made this amazing quit and brought it last weekend

See the full post

5 notes - Posted June 1, 2022

#3

See the full post

6 notes - Posted August 16, 2022

#2

Please reblog or comment with how often you post to tumblr and if you queue, what you set your time as.

I rarely post anything outside of the queue, important posts just jump to the top. I currently have it set to 6 posts a day between 4 AM and 12 AM which spits things out at 6:51, 9:42, 12:34pm, 3:25PM, 6:17PM, and 9:08PM all Arizona time which is Pacific time right now .

My queue system is overly elaborate and I only keep about a week in the actual queue, the rest in bookmark folders .

10 notes - Posted September 4, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Donate what you can to Women’s Reproductive Rights Assistance Project (WRRAP) and receive a Tamora Pierce short-story introducing an exciting new universe as your thank-you!

'To say I was enraged and heartbroken with SCOTUS decision to overturn Roe vs Wade ...would be an understatement.

I grew up during our fight and win for abortion care. I knew women who had been hurt by their attempts to get illegal abortions. In one case, the woman was so terrified by pregnancy with a married man that she attempted to abort herself. She failed, and she and her little boy were pariahs in their small, religious community. I had my own close calls over the years, but by then, abortion was legal.

Abortion was one of the most challenging and complex choices anyone could ever make, but it was something that would save your future and that of those who cared for you, and it was your choice.

And now this . . . betrayal. Bigotry. Lack of care or mercy for human beings caught in traps. Outsiders are taking it upon themselves to govern the lives of those who should be the only ones to make these vital choices. Those who try to rule others must be stopped--but until they are, let us help those who need abortion care NOW.

'Women’s Reproductive Rights Assistance Project (WRRAP) is the largest national, independent, nonprofit abortion fund. We provide urgently-needed financial assistance nationwide to individuals seeking abortion services or emergency contraception.'

I hope you will contribute--if not to receive this tale, to donate to an organization who helps those and need, and agrees that abortion care is purely the right and business of individuals in need of abortions.' - Tamora Pierce

17 notes - Posted July 1, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

My most popular post was made last year and blazed a few months ago so it isn't on here

[uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhxd]

BIG STRESS!!! Ahh!!!

[definitelynotsiffrin]

Emergency comissions open!

I don't have a price sheet for normal comms, but the prices go very similar to my ref sheet:

Sketch: Headshot 3€, bust/hip up 5€, full body 10€ No color: Headshot 8€, bust/hip up 12€, full body 15€ Flat color: Headshot 10€, bust/hip up 15€, full body 20€ Shadowed: Bust/hip up 20€, full body 30€ Props +5€ Complex characters +5€ to the base prices (only +3€ if sketch)

Examples at the very bottom!

I can attempt drawing humans now, both in refs and normal art comissions.

So, what happened?

My cat is having some pretty bad liver issues. He's on medication at the moment (and we have to give him food and water since he won't take it by himself and we need to avoid pancreatitis bc of fat buildup). We don't know how bad it is YET, treatment today and tomorrow will open up to either it getting cured or needing further testing.

Since pills are not cheap AND if we do need to test more (and maybe leave him there) the prices rank up a lot (every day of stay is about 50€ + the test which are are blood work and ecography being another 60€ each one) I will be opening emergency comissions!

I've been on a bit of artblock lately so I might be a bit slower delivering, but right now I will do whatever is necessary for him, especially with him being one of my two emotional support animals that keep tabs on my mental health (our other cat is a good boy, he's just wasn't fit for emotional support).

I am also open for translation work! I can translate to and from spanish as it is my first language.

You can always donate to my kofi as well.

Art examples (Bellow the cut)

(These three up top belong to @capeta )

[poisonarium]

Emergency considerations with herps

Well, now that my neighborhood street is on fire and under mandatory evacuation, it seems like a good time to remind people that you should always have at least one carrier per pet- including your exotics- and these carriers should always be easy to grab quickly in an emergency, not stashed away hidden under a thousand pounds of junk in the attic or something. Fortunately, I was ready and I have everything my animals need close at hand.

Many herps can go for a while without food, especially amphibians and larger reptiles. No, it's not ideal and should be avoided under normal circumstances, but many species evolved to deal with going long periods without a meal. So food is not necessarily as urgent to for them as it would be for a mammal or bird (though you should find out what's necessary for your specific species).

So, in an emergency, the most important things would be making sure you have secure transportation for them that they can't escape from, which can hold adequate humidity and heat for their species, and which they can breathe in. Since it's mid-spring here right now, I don't presently need to worry about maintaining enough heat for them, but that should also be at the top of one's mind when considering evacuating with exotic pets. It's worth keeping extra vivarium-building and/or shipping supplies around so that you can quickly put together a humidity-stable, easy-to-transport container.

For the dart frogs and small geckos, I got empty/still-unused cups that I would usually use for fruit fly cultures and stuffed the bottom of those with coconut coir and dried moss, then soaked that in distilled water before putting the lid on. The lid for these cups have tiny holes that allow breathing, but which prevents the interior from drying out too quickly. For Sunny, it's a similar setup, but in a medium-sized 'kritter keeper' instead of a fruit fly cup. Since I live in a very arid climate, I was concerned that wet paper towels wouldn't be enough to maintain humidity.

If I didn't also have to worry about lugging around my mammal pets (one of which is an extremely irritable cat that weighs roughly 20 pounds) and my own essentials, I would be more concerned with bringing their food with me, too. Instead, I fed my darts and geckos a particularly hearty meal while waiting for news updates- just in case they won't get another meal for a few days. Since this is just a local fire and not the collapse of civilization or something, I can be reasonably confident that I can buy food for them later if I end up unable to return to my home. Otherwise, I'd be starting a new fruit fly culture right now and bringing that with me, too. Packages of Pangea/other powdered gecko food is easy to stick in one's pocket if you can.

Since I have a stupid-anxious personality, I'm always prepared for disaster anyway- but I know a lot of people think it'll never happen to them. Since climate change is only going to get worse at this point, you should realize it CAN happen to you (and to be honest, if you live in the southwest, either coast, or south in the US... there's actually a pretty decent chance of it happening to you at some point). If you haven't thought yet about what you'd do with your pets in an emergency, take some time to prepare right now. Evacuating with dogs and/or cats is one thing, but there's a lot more to consider with herps and other uncommon pets. If you're prepared ahead of time, you can save yourself and them, too!