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gamerbunny1996 · 4 months

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Our Secret

Warning ⚠️: mention of abuse that's all. No it's not Schlatt doing it either.

You just started streaming on twitch in the last couple months and you already have a few thousand that watch you. It's probably because your brother was a famous YouTuber after all. Your brother was very hesitant to let you stream. With lots of begging and threatening you doing it anyway because you're a grown ass adult he let you. You already help him with his stuff anyway you film and edit for him and his friends,so you can only stream once in a while anyway.

You even just got invited to join a Minecraft server. So every Friday when you're not traveling you stream it. You decided to build your house away from everyone. Not many people came and visited you and you were okay with that. You would drag your brother in your room to show him all the work you have been working on in the world.

One day when you were doing a chill stream just building on the world a couple others on the server came over to your area. “So this is where you have been hiding '' one of the three guys said. “Um yes it is well I mean I didn't mean to hide away” you replied back. “Wow you have done a lot” you looked at the name tag of who said that. Mikasacus the name tag said. “Yeah I play off stream sometimes I don't have a lot of time to play so I do when I can” you told them. “Well let us introduce ourselves, I'm Mika,” he said to you. “I'm Aztro," the other one said. You walked up to them, punching them away. “Hey that was rude” they punched you back. I laughed at them.

Now you know the other one, he was the one that invited you, schlatt was his name. We haven't talked other than him sending you an email about joining the server. “You should show us around,” Mika asked. “Yeah sure follow me” you started to run off. Showing the three around your base. You would catch schlatt stealing something once in a while and yelling at him to put it back. After that Aztro and Mika left to go find their other friend. “How are you liking the server?” Schlatt asked you. “I'm liking it. I should go explore more and talk with the others here as well but I like staying in my area” you told him. “I'll have to come visit more often then” he said. “That would be wonderful” you got excited that someone wanted to play with you. “Alright but I gotta go finish filming for sleep deprived talk to you later” he started to run off.

Weeks have gone by and you have been talking to Schlatt everyday most of the time you're not even live on twitch. You guys just like talking just the two of you. You found out a lot about schlatt. One, he lives where two of your brother's friends are. So you have a chance to meet him one of the times you go over to Texas to film. He also owns two cats so you two show off your cats to each other all the time. Well yours isn't well yours she is your brother's cat but you still show the little cat off all the time.

It was time for you to travel again so streaming is going to have to go on hold for a while. You leave in a week to Texas. You really wanted to meet up with Schlatt but your brother is super protective of you and you don't know how to go off without him noticing. Plus you also won't have time. So you decided to just ask your brother to stay an extra day so you can meet up with schlatt. You just won't tell him who. Walking up the stairs you see your brother on his computer.

“Hey Gaege can I ask you a question”

“Yeah what is it?” he turned around in his chair to face you.

“Can we maybe stay an extra day in Texas”

“Why?”

“I have some twitch friends out there I want to meet”

“No” is all he said turning around

“Why not I'm a big girl I can take care of myself” you started to walk farther into his room.

“I said no and that's that”

“Please Gaege” you tried begging

“You know why I don't like you meeting up with people without me”

“Then you can come with”

“Still a no plus I don't even know who your meeting with”

“I knew I shouldn't have moved in with you” you yelled walking back down the stairs. Walking to your room slamming the door. You can hear Gaege yelling back at you. “You would have been on the streets then” crying in your pillow. You hated how protective your brother can be sometimes. He was right though, without him you would be on the streets with no job. You're 21 years old and can't even be left alone without him there. His girlfriend is the only one that's allowed to be left alone with you.

You text Schlatt that you won't have time to meet up with him when you're in Texas. Hugging your pillow to your chest. Soon your phone went off. Looking at it, it was Schlatt replying to you. “That's gay” he replied. Laughing a little you just typed yeah and sent it. You get why your brother is protective; he doesn't want anything repeating from your past. Soon a FaceTime call was coming through. Seeing the name you answered.

“Hello” schlatt said

“Hi”

“What wrong”

“My brother is just a jerk is all”

“Why you say that”

“i tried to get him to agree to stay one more day so we can meet up but he wasn't having any of it”

“That's okay will meet soon”

“That's the thing he doesn't want me meeting anyone I'm not even allowed to be left alone with his friends”

“What why that's a little bit protective don't you think”

“Yeah he has a good reason though”he gave a curious look.

“Long story”

“I got all day”

Rolling your eyes “I also rather not get into it. It's a hard thing for me to talk about”

“Gotcha we'll find a way to meet I promise”

Smiling you rolled out of bed. Going to your desk you sit down in your chair. Putting your phone up against your computer screen. “It's just heartbreaking that I can't do anything”

“Why don't you just move out you a big girl”

“I would but my brother has done so much for me and I don't want to lose him because I moved out”

“Why would he be mad at that”

“Like I said he is protective doesn't want me going out and meeting people and living life”

“I really want to know why he is so protective like it's bad y/n you got to have some freedom”

“I do I get to travel a lot and I hangout with all his friends all the time”

“His friends”

“Yeah I don't have any”

“Wonder why” Schlatt sarcastically said.

“Well I got online ones”

“It's more fun hanging out in person”

“Yeah I know”

“I think that's why all the friends I do make online stop talking to me”

“That's fucked up”

“Yeah it is. It's okay I get it”

Soon you heard your brother coming down the stairs. “I got to go,” you said, grabbing your phone. “Aw fine talk to you later toots” waving bye you hung up the phone. A knock came to your door. “Come in” your brother opens the door leaning on it. “I don't like you slamming doors in my house” rolling your eyes “okay dad” you said in a sarcastic tone. “Why do you want to meet this person or people so bad” turning to look at him. “Because I want friends too Gaege” you're getting upset again. “Last time that happened you got hurt”

“I was a dumb teenager, I'm not a kid anymore, I know how to get out of a bad situation now” you tried to argue.

“Do you. You tend to hide things from me alot”

You started to cry “why are you acting like this not everyone is asseholes”

“They are to me if it involves you. I seen you so broken and I don't want to see that again you lived in an abusive relationship for three years y/n, three years you didn't come to me when you need help”

“I was scared he threatened me so many times. I was 16, Gaege I didn't know what to do”

“Who”

“What?”

“Who do you want to meet”

Staying silent afraid he would flip if he found out it was Schlatt. “Who please tell me” he sounded so calm. “Schlatt” you said. “Fine” is all he said walking out. What did he mean by fine you thought. At this point you had so many emotions going through you. You just cried your eyes out. Moving to your bed you cried yourself to sleep.

It was the day of your trip. You have been down a lot lately just upset with your brother. You made sure all your equipment was packed and your clothes. Driving to the airport you just stayed looking out the window not wanting to talk with your brother.

Making it on the airplane you just played on your phone texts Schlatt once in a while to help distract you. The flight wasn't super long; it was just Florida to Texas. Once landed you go grab your bags. Gaege leads you through a crowd. Seeing your brother's friends you walk up to them.

You so badly just want to jump out of this car and run to Schlatt's place. You knew better though. A notification went off on your phone looking down, you saw Gabby texting you. Looking up because she was sitting in front of you. Confused, you looked back down and opened the message. “You okay. You seem really down then normal” smiling at the concern she had for you. Typing away, you replied back. “My brother is just annoying me like a lot” looking back out the window you just watch the car drive past different buildings. Your brother and his friend was talking about video ideas they could do while we are over.

Another ding went off. Looking at the message she sent you. “What happened?” Sighing, you replied back. “I just really want to meet a friend but he won't let me. It's annoying how he is so protective I just want a normal life” you are just getting frustrated all over again. “If I can convince Gaege to take you shopping I'll take you to meet your friend” your eyes lit up. “Really?” Gaege was now looking up at you. “What you are excited about” you tried to think of a lie. Soon Gabby buts in “I was telling her if I asked you for permission that I can take her shopping there this new clothing store nearby the house” you gave puppy eyes. “Please I'll stay by Gabby the whole time” he sighed. “Fine” you jumped in joy “yay I need so many new things” you tried to play along like you were actually going shopping. Look at your phone and you text Schlatt really quick. “Guess why we can meet up but it can't be for long and my brother can not know about this ever” you looked back out the window with a smile. “When can we go” you asked out loud. “How about once we get to the house the boys are just going to be playing drinking games plus once we come back I can bring them all dinner how does that sound” Gabby said looking at Gaege. “That would be perfect actually” you looked at your phone ready to text Schlatt where and what time to meet. “Bet” is all he said.

Once to the house you put your stuff in the spare room you're staying in and get ready to head out. Walking up to your brother you hugged him “thank you I needed this” he hugged you back “please stay near Gabby” looking him in the eyes you nodded in agreement.

You and Gabby walked out of the house and got into her car. “Thank you so much you don't understand how much I appreciate this” smiling at her “You know I need to know who your meeting” she wiggles her eye brows. Blushing a little”I just a friend I stream with” you try to dodge the question. “That not what I'm asking I'm asking for a name” you signed out “His name is Schlatt” she gives you a look “A boy ooooo. If it was a girl I feel like your brother wouldn't be as cautious but a boy he will kill him then me for taking you then you for lying” looking out the window”believe I know” well will do everything we can do he doesn't ever know about this so that means we got to actually buy some clothes” smiling at Gabby you nod your head in agreement.

Pulling up to the mall you both get out. “Okay once the two of you meet I'll just stay in the mall you can do whatever you want but message me once in a while and meet back here in two hours you hear me.” Gabby held onto your shoulders making sure you understand what she is staying. “Yes ma'am” rolling her eyes as you guys head into the store. You sent a quick text to Schlatt asking where he is. Soon you felt someone pick you up “right here” you heard the person say. You recognize that voice. Turning around once he puts you down, you hug him. “Alright you know the plan all is on my way” Gabby said heading off.

“How did you convince your brother?” asked, still hugging you. “believe me I'm just as shocked as you are but to be fair he thinks I'm shopping with Gabby and have no idea I'm meeting with you” you told him “well then let's make the best of the time we got” taking your hand into his he started to walk out of the mall. “I'll take you out to dinner then will come back and just chill in the mall until you have to leave” he told you, opening the car door for you. Getting in he closed the door and walked around getting in himself. You made it to a very nice restaurant.

Sitting at the table the two of you just talked away about different things. Ordering your food and eating. You guys just stayed and chatted for a while. Enjoying each other's company. “I told you we were going to meet one day” he said to you. Smiling you replied back “Didn't think so soon though” he ended up paying the bill to your dismay. Getting up you both left to get back to the mall. “Thanks for meeting up on such a short notice” he smiled at you still keeping an eye on the road “of course I dropped everything to come see you” you gasped “you shouldn't have done that” you looked worried now. “it's okay it wasn't that big of a deal” you smiled looking out the window soon you felt his hand grab yours.

Getting back to the mall you two just walked around and soon you saw a Build a bear. Gasping you started to drag Schlatt there. You picked out a black bunny. Schlatt picked out an orange cat. You smiled. Happy he was joining you in getting one. Once filed with the stuffing you picked out the outfits. Schlatt dressed his with a sweater and shorts with little light brown boots the bear even had a little baseball hat on. I dressed mine in a little black dress and tiny black shoes. Schlatt yet again paid for both the stuffed animals.

Walking out of the store you grabbed your bunny and handed his to you. Confused you looked at him “that one's mine” he gave you a smirk. “Well now you have something to have that reminds you of me and I have one that reminds me of you” with the biggest smile on your face you guys went to do some clothes shopping for you so you came back with stuff not to look suspicious. With a couple bags and a stuffed cat it was time to meet back up with Gabby and leave Schlatt.

You had a sad face not ready to stop spending time with Schlatt just yet. He grabbed your chin and made you look up at him. “It's okay we will meet again I promise” he gave your cheek a kiss. You started to blush crazy. Smiling at him not knowing what to say Gabby came up. “Alright time to go” nodding your head as you looked at Schlatt one last time. “Bye hope to see you again soon” he waved at you and you and Gabby left.

Once in the car Gabby looked at you “sooooo what did you guys dooooo” she said in a sing-song voice. “Um well we went out to eat then we went back to the mall and walked around we went to build a bear. Both of us got a stuffed animal and then I bought some clothes to not look suspicious and yeah. It was a lot of fun” you smiled through the whole thing. “Like the matching cat” she said looking at the road. Blushing hard, you hugged it tighter to your chest.

Picking up dinner for the boys you headed home. Walking in we set the pizzas down on the table calling the boys in. They rushed in grabbing slices. Your brother walked up to you. “How was the trip with Gabby” you looked at him “lots of fun Gabby even took me to build a bear see” you showed him the cat dressed just like Schlatt. “How nice of her, got any good clothes? '' nodding your head, you showed him the couple of bags you got. He hugged you from the side. “Glad you had a fun time” you smiled only if he knew.

#jschlatt #schlatt #jschlatt x reader #schlatt x reader #x reader

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ask-a-w · 11 months

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Baby Smooth

For Aeon Week Days 2 & 3 - Family & Domestic Life

Summary: Leon & Ada try to figure out what's bothering their son. A continuation of this fic.

AO3

FF.net

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Leon's car drove up into the garage and he thumbed a switch on the fob, closing the garage door behind him. He turned off the engine and stepped out of his Cadillac, sighing after a long day at bootcamp with the new trainees. At least he was officially off the field now and was able to come home daily, even though it was past sunset. The days of running away from biohazards were put behind him.

“Ada, I'm home,” Leon called out as he stepped into the house and slipped off his shoes at the entrance. “How's Arthur been?”

A black cat leapt off a nearby cabinet and onto Leon’s shoulder, giving him a pleasant surprise. “It’s nice to see you too, Ebony,” he petted the young feline and placed her onto the floor where she scampered away.

Ada was seated on the sofa, watching her son play in his playpen when Leon came home. She rose and beamed a smile at her husband as he got pounced on by Ebony. “Welcome back, handsome. Arthur's been a happy boy.”

Their one year old perked up at the sight of his father and waved his stuffed lion at him. “Daddy!”

“Hi Arthur,” Leon gave his son a warm grin, seeing his family at the end of the day always lifted his spirits. He walked over to them and knelt down to gently pat the little boy’s head. “Let me wash up first and I will come play with you.”

Leon leaned over to give his wife a quick kiss and Ada lightly squeezed his arm when he pulled away, “I'll heat up some food for you in the meantime.”

As the blonde entered the bedroom, a ginger cat trotted in, rubbing Leon’s legs in greeting. “Hey, Cobalt.” He reached down to give his pet some scritches on its chin and the feline purred loudly in response before jumping up on the bed, curling up on the blanket to wash his paws.

Leon swiftly undressed, throwing his clothes in the laundry hamper, and got in the bathroom for a quick, hot shower. He felt pretty sweaty and grimey after demonstrating fighting techniques to his recruits. It felt good to get himself nice and squeaky clean again.

Meanwhile, Ada affectionately ruffled Arthur’s blonde hair and kissed his forehead. “You can keep playing. Mommy and Daddy will be back soon.” She grabbed the baby monitor and headed into the kitchen.

Arthur merely cooed in response and waddled over to his toys that made animal sounds, entertaining himself while he waited for his parents. His favourite was the cat as it reminded him of Cobalt and Ebony who frequently rested in the playpen with him. He pressed the button in the middle of the cat’s tummy and it let out a ‘meow’. Arthur laughed and proceeded to press the rest of the animals in rapid succession, the cacophony of creature noises filled the room soon after.

Ada’s smile could only grow wider as she observed her son through the monitor. The child-like wonder he possessed as he discovered new things everyday through his bright brown eyes made her see things from a whole new perspective. Oftentimes, she found herself just watching her son experience the world on his own terms.

Upstairs, Leon turned off the water and dried himself off with a towel before returning to the bedroom. That was when he noticed Ebony and Cobalt cuddling and grooming each other on the bed. He was glad both cats got along. The blonde put on some fresh clothes and headed back into the living room. Seeing Arthur playing alone, Leon went over to his son and picked him up. Little Arthur let out a small giggle as he grabbed his father’s shirt.

“Hey buddy,” Leon cooed. He sniffed Arthur's soft baby hair, gave him a kiss on his cheek, and nuzzled him. However, instead of the usual laughter, Arthur let out a small whine of discomfort.

“Huh, what is it?” Leon looked at Arthur's face and saw that his son was frowning uncomfortably. How was it that he could look so adorable and sad at the same time?

“Oh, are you hungry?” He asked, glancing at the clock on the mantle and remembering the feeding schedule that Ada had set up. Arthur would have been fed an hour ago and shouldn’t be hungry so soon…

The blonde also sniffed the air. “I don't think you need a diaper change... What's wrong huh?” Leon brought his son close to nuzzle him again, but when his face touched Arthur's cheek, the baby shrieked even louder. “Whoa, what's gotten into you?”

“Everything okay in there?” Ada called out from the kitchen where she was stirring a pot of pasta on the stove. She was listening to Leon talk to Arthur on the baby monitor when she heard her son whimper.

Arthur stuck his little hands out and pressed it against his father's chin. “No!” The little boy cried out.

Leon felt a pang in his heart as his son rejected him, surprised by how forceful his small hands were. “I don't know, Arthur doesn't like me all of a sudden…”

“No, no, no!” Little Arthur repeated and slapped his tiny palms against Leon's skin.

“Alright alright, I'll give you to Mama,” Leon patted Arthur’s back soothingly and headed into the kitchen to hand their son to his wife. “He was fine just a minute ago when I picked him up.”

Ada raised an eyebrow as she took Arthur into her arms and she gestured to her husband to look after the pasta on the stove.

“That's odd. Do you remember what you were doing when he cried out? I'm carrying him just fine.” She rubbed her son’s back and kissed his cheek to comfort him. Arthur was bracing himself for discomfort again but relaxed when his mother's smooth skin brushed up against his.

Leon sighed and went to tend to the stove, giving the pasta a few more stirs. “I was just nuzzling him. I've done that plenty of times before.” He looked over to his wife and son and was glad to see Arthur feeling better, yet still disappointed in himself that he made his baby cry.

Ada glanced at her husband and felt his sadness. She would do anything to make things right. It was then she noticed the five o'clock shadow on his face. “I see why he cried when you nuzzled him…” She reached out and fingered his stubble. “He probably found this rough and wasn’t comfortable with it.”

A small smirk appeared on her lips and she kissed his cheek. “I still find you ruggedly good looking though.”

Leon blinked when his spouse stroked his jawline, and he realised his face was covered in short, stiff hair. “Oh. Ohh…” He rubbed his chin and felt how coarse it was, like sandpaper. “I'm sorry Arthur. I guess I forgot to shave.”

Arthur was fast asleep this morning and did not stir after Leon gave him a goodbye kiss on the temple when he left for work. Leon could not have known then.

The blonde gently stroked Arthur's hair, which the little boy did appreciate. “I'll go remove it right now, while my face's still a little damp.” Leon went back upstairs once more.

Ada turned off the fire on the stove and placed the lid on so Cobalt won't mess with it. With her son in her arms, she followed Leon all the way to the bedroom, knowing how much he wanted to nuzzle Arthur after he got done shaving.

Leon was already in the bathroom, gliding the razor over his cheeks and jawline until his face was nice and smooth. Their little boy watched with curiosity as the tiny hairs on his daddy's face disappeared.

He cleaned the razor, wiped down the sink, and towel dried his face before turning to see his beautiful Ada with their cherubic Arthur.

“Ok, let's try this again,” Leon said as he leaned over to his son. He gently pressed his cheek against Arthur's, and their baby chuckled happily that papa’s face was now nice and smooth. “There now, all better isn’t it?”

Arthur kept giggling and his tiny fingers reached out to touch Leon's strong jawline. “Here, you can hold him to your heart's content,” Ada said and handed their son into her husband's loving arms before heading downstairs to finish prepping Leon’s dinner.

“Hey Arthur…” Leon whispered as he nuzzled his son without protest. Arthur gurgled happily at his father, rubbing his chubby cheek back against him. Leon responded by bouncing him lightly in his arms and the sound of happy coos filled the bathroom. Cobalt let out a little chirp followed by Ebony who mewed at them and Leon brought his son to their cats, sharing their joy with the creatures.

“Food's ready, lao gong,” Ada called out after she was done ladling the pasta into one bowl since she already had her dinner. Leon had insisted that she eat first as training could end at unpredictable hours. They could still spend time at the dining table while he ate.

“We'll be right down, lao po.” Leon replied and carried his son down to the kitchen, placing him down in the high chair by the dining table. “It smells good, dear. I could really go for a hearty meal after all the training today.”

Ada laid out glasses of water and took a seat beside her husband, feeling pleased when he complimented her cooking.

Being a stay-at-home mother still took some getting used to since she did not trust anyone else to care for their son, given their very colourful past and enemies could still be lurking in the shadows. But seeing Arthur’s face light up at her every time she entered the room made her choice worth it. Leon agreed with her decision too. They wouldn’t trade his safety for anything.

#Ada stories #Aeon Week 2023 #Ada Wong #Leon Kennedy #aeonweek

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dankusner · 6 months

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Now that Cat Marnell has left her post as beauty editor at xoJane—where, as the site's "beauty and health director" she infamously chronicled the intimate and more fucked-up details of her life like her drug abuse, mental health, and strained relationships—readers are wondering: What Will Happen Next?

After all, the bread and butter of Jane Pratt's site has been first-person, experienced-based essays, with interoffice activities and conversations between staffers providing fodder for posts that read like reality TV (one source told us that Pratt has been pitching a show about the office).

The more compelling, dramatic episodes revolved around Marnell's addiction and her brief absence due to employer-mandated rehab—sometimes written by Marnell's coworkers.

But weren't those her stories to tell? She seems to think so.

youtube

I spoke to Marnell the day her departure from xoJane appeared in Page Six. It quoted her as saying:

Look, I couldn't spend another summer meeting deadlines behind a computer at night when I could be on the rooftop of Le Bain looking for shooting stars and smoking angel dust with my friends and writing a book, which is what I'm doing next.

While Marnell doesn't deny her drug use, she attributes her exit to "creative unhappiness."

Having honed her editing skills at Condé Nast—as an intern at Teen Vogue and later, a beauty editor at Lucky—Marnell seems to prefer print to online media.

"I love magazines," she gushes.

In the spirit of her professional pedigree, Marnell firmly believes in some diehard women's magazine conventions, telling me, "Beauty is supposed to be aspirational."

It's a philosophy by which she lives her life.

"I threw up everyday because I was afraid of getting fat," she declares, without any hint of shame, referring to when she took a break from stimulants during her recent stint in outpatient rehab.

Even if she recognized how aspirational beauty has fucked her up, she wouldn't care.

She hated being referred to as a "lady blogger," and she's made no bones about vocalizing her distaste for the genre's earnestness or its body-positivity focus, nor is she a fan of the "gross out" stories that have become the hallmark of many women's interests' sites.

I'm not some girly blogger that's part of a sugar and spice and everything nice community, okay? I hate that. I hate that on principle.

That last quote was from one of her beauty columns for xoJane that was ostensibly about perfume, but was actually an essay outlining her aforementioned "creative unhappiness" and how it, coupled with her drug use, was affecting her behavior in the office.

She illustrated her self-proclaimed "bitchiness" by detailing a fight she got in with the site's managing editor Emily McCombs, whom she made cry.

It lifted the curtain and gave readers that inclusive feel for which Jane Pratt's publications have always strived, but have never achieved so effectively.

Watching—or rather, reading—events unfold became irresistible.

About six weeks later, a New York profile on Marnell revealed that SAY Media, xoJane's parent company, mandated that she take disability leave to attend outpatient rehab.

Her absence from the site was noticeable.

(According to SAY, she was the most-read writer on staff.)

Technically, Marnell's choice—or coercion—to seek treatment was nobody's business.

But the personal nature of the workplace at xoJane had become the business.

It seemed like it made sense to address the matter on the site.

In a piece titled, "On Dealing with Active Addicts," posted 11 days after the New York profile came out, McCombs name-checked Marnell in the dek ("This is only a little bit about Cat"), but wrote mostly about her own experience of working with an addict.

But she also shared a private phone conversation she'd had with Marnell just before she'd decided to accept the offer of treatment.

One source told us that Marnell was furious and had not given her permission for such a post.

When I pressed her about the issue, Marnell only said, "I wanted it to be completely quiet."

She's full of contradictions, though.

McCombs told me that it was Marnell's idea.

"When Cat's New York magazine feature came out, she suggested that we might want to capitalize on its traffic by having a staff member write a 'brutally honest' article about what it's like to work with an addict.

In response to that request, I wrote a draft that was more explicitly about Cat and the difficulties of working with her when she was using.

She was hurt when she read it and so we didn't run it."

I read some of the unpublished piece.

It was nasty—shockingly so.

An entire paragraph was dedicated to describing, in great detail, Marnell's physical unattractiveness and smeared makeup.

It was undoubtedly mortifying for a beauty editor to read.

McCombs reworked it, made it less about Marnell and published it.

"I didn't ask her permission to run the 'Dealing with Active Addicts' piece, but she didn't ask my permission to write about events in the office either."

Therein lies the problem with creating a group narrative amongst writers.

Who owns the material?

McCombs often writes about her own sobriety for xoJane.

When I questioned her about the ethics of being in AA and publicly discussing another person's addiction she said, "I would never, ever have told anyone about Cat going to rehab, but once she had already announced it in New York and on her Twitter, I didn't see any problem referencing it."

The back and forth made for some compelling reading, but the danger in relying so heavily on a cult of personality for material is that the lines become blurred on what's fair game for personal show-and-tell.

In an email, Marnell told me, "'Fair game' is not really how one would expect a managing editor would view an employee on disability for addiction but I had been behaving badly and I do respect her honesty—disconcerting as it is to this day."

Because Marnell's exploits had become almost synonymous with xoJane, it appeared that Pratt was forced to address the end of Marnell's employment in what came off as her own version of the site's popular feature "It Happened to Me", and was at once self-aware and self-absorbed:

I know there has been some radio silence on my end with regard to the whole issue ever since she got back from her time off. I wrote a draft for you of what happened in the last week at xoJane and it was roundly and rightfully trashed here internally.

It had heavy paragraphs in it like this:

Right now, Cat is tweeting from Soho House and I am feeling the sadness of everyone I've ever known whose use of drugs/food/sex/whatever habit limited their abilities (or desires) to fulfill their potential. From my dad, who was left on the side of the road to die and left my step-mom to clear out the s and m equipment (should s & m always have an ampersand? seems so) from under his bed and the box of wine from the shelf in the artists' colony room where he was staying, to so many others I've believed and believed in.

Oy, said my publicist.

Oy, indeed. At this point, the business model is not unlike a snake eating its own tail.

Not that I'm saying that Pratt is a snake.

In fact, Marnell only had lovely things to say about how much she respects her former boss.

"I love Jane. We have a special Duke parents blond prep school magazine-y bond and we are both very skinny naturally."

It will be interesting to see where xoJane goes from here.

With the identity of the site wrapped up so tightly in the identity of its staffers and their relationships with one another, there is clearly an endless font of stories to tell. Who has the right to tell them, however, is much murkier.

Drugs more fun than work [Page Six] Cat's Gone [xoJane] Cat Marnell on Jane Pratt, Her Book, and Splitting From xoJane.com [New York]

"Between you and me," writes Cat Marnell in the book proposal which netted her a $500,000 advance from Simon & Schuster, "half the time I feel very little remorse. AND I have a massive ego, if I really think about it."

In her proposal, which was leaked to us, Marnell details her life so far.

In case you haven't been keeping up with New York, the , the Wall Street Journal, Page Six, or any of the other media outlets that enjoy a good young-woman-in-peril story, Cat Marnell is an ex-Lucky staffer, an ex-XOJane.com health editor, an ex-Vice columnist, and a self-described glamorous drug addict. Spoiler alert: she came from an unhappy home.

The proposal is divided into two sections: a 35-page "outline" of the book, which tells the story of Marnell's life so far, and a 38-page essay that appears to be a sample chapter. ("Appears to be" because it has no title, no clear relationship to the outline, and begins with an epigraph from the poet Chard DeNiord, whose name Marnell misspells. Organization, like proofreading, is hardly Marnell's strong suit.)

Marnell begins the outline with a section called, appropriately, "Beginnings."

It details her childhood in Bethesda, Maryland, and her relationship with her psychiatrist dad ("a rage-filled narcissist to us but an upstanding conservative Republican and Washingtonian magazine 'Best Psychiatrist' to everyone else") and therapist mom ("a diabetic, anorexic…an emotional vacant lot, 95 lbs. all the time with dead eyes.")

Her childhood sounds like a monied, WASP-y kind of hell: domestic violence, a father screaming "Real silver doesn't go in the dishwasher," and filet mignon in a Frank Lloyd Wright-designed house.

Marnell mentions the family dining table cost $5,000.

"All I've ever wanted my whole life," she says, "was a way to escape and get numb."

At 15, Marnell is sent away to boarding school in Massachusetts:

I went right for the hottest, richest, most popular senior and was blowing him in his car in three weeks flat.

Social climbing through sex has always been one of my specialties.

I don't fuck for love, I fuck to put my name on any given particular New York map.

I lost my virginity to a hockey player on a bathmat during a weekend hotel party at the Royal Sonesta Hotel in Boston.

Then I slept squished on a bed with three dudes.

The next day I caught a ride to Cape Cod from school acquaintances and slept alone on the beach.

Prep school is insane!

So insane, in fact, that Marnell ends up getting kicked out:

Senior year was more of the same.

I bought ecstasy in bulk from legendary teen drug lord Sketchy Ralph, and sold it to underclassmen at an AIDS Day Awareness dance.

I was kicked out — "asked to leave," as they say — a month before graduation, over three months pregnant with the student government president's baby.

At the time of my dismissal, I had the top GPA in the class (tied with the German genius Marcus, natch) and was Tatania [sic] in "A Midsummer Night's Dream." […]

Oh yes, and that pregnancy?

Turns out I'd let it go to the second trimester and had to have a violent, no-anesthesia abortion in a ghetto clinic somewhere in the District, where I shook, wept, and sobbed in agony on a table.

My mother accompanied me and in the "recovery room" said very little — she is not a nurturer, that one! — but did hand me a bottle of Xanax prescribed to me by my father, a prescription written in advance that I didn't ask for.

And that, my friends, was how I was introduced to my good friend benzodiazepines, a family of pills I have taken daily nearly every day of my life since.

When she moves to New York to attend the New School, Marnell's parents pay her rent and give her "about $1000 bucks in the bank every month to spend on whatever I pleased," which naturally allows her drug problems to worsen.

"I was doing Adderall and coke and a little heroin still of course, but I was in the city, the great love of my life, and I was part of it, and I spent many years like this fantastically in love with myself," Marnell writes. "I used sex, drugs, nightlife and men, and I let them use me. We were all together, snorting up life like a line."

Marnell does everything she can to get drugs.

Though her father stops prescribing her Adderall when she turns 24, she had no trouble "doctor-shopping" for new scripts.

Scripts for everything: amphetamines, benzos, sleeping pills, anti-narcolepsy medications.

I started visiting plastic surgeons to book fake nose jobs and things, because when you book a surgery you get your painkiller scripts written in advance to fill pre-surgery.

Then I would cancel the nose jobs. Easy!

The proposal is also stuffed with blind items.

A particularly compelling one is regarding "the son of one of the most famous living Democrats," who was an acquaintance of Marnell's from the period after she left prep school and was finishing high school in D.C. Allow Marnell to explain:

I sat with the politician's son in a parked Oldsmobile crushing beers and taking mushrooms with him and my boyfriend on dark secluded streets with the Secret Service parked behind us, watching, watching.

Later, at her 18th birthday party:

The son of the famous unnameable politician was there too; the secret service camped outside out hotel suite door. We binged on every drug and no one cared; no one got in any trouble.

Any guesses?

Marnell brags about her dishonesty in college — "I was a non-fiction writing major, and I turned in the same pieces over and over again to all my different professors and never got caught" — and her ease in finding a job as an assistant beauty editor at Lucky after graduation.

Marnell outlines how she manipulates coworkers, doctors, and friends into enabling her addictions.

At Condé Nast, she has her interns fill her prescriptions for her.

She goes to rehab ($1000/day for 30 days; dad pays), relapses, dates a heroin addict, goes to a mental hospital.

Throughout the proposal, Marnell displays an obsession with weight.

She sizes up and catalogs the body size of virtually every woman mentioned, and chronicles her own dwindling weight with something like pride.

Marnell's interest in drugs is broad and catholic.

Here's Marnell on taking anti-psychotics, which are "easy to score from psychiatrists" because they're not narcotics:

"I always welcomed any feeling that legitimate mental illness was finally overtaking me (it's never stuck, alas), for this would explain my bad states and also protect my pills, my pills, my pills."

Marnell seems to want very badly to be seen as a victim — of her parents' emotional distance, of their preference for expressing care in the form of pharmaceutical prescriptions, of her user boyfriends.

But her proposal describes her being afforded the kinds of second, third, and fourth chances that most people don't get.

Coworkers cover for her when she can't even bring herself to write "200 words, say, on the new spring lipstick shades."

Frankly, Marnell gets the kinds of first chances people not of her background are rarely offered.

Her bosses defend her to higher-ups.

Media companies she works for — Condé Nast, Say Media, and Vice — pay for her stints in rehab and hospital care.

Even as Marnell remains the type of person who stops to apply "some sort of gooey red raspberry mask" to her face when she wakes at 9:37 on the morning of a very important 10 AM meeting, for which she is completely unprepared.

Drug abuse, says Marnell, starts to turn her skin "no-joke Nixon-vs.-Kennedy green."

"To be clear," writes Marnell at the end of her outline, "this book is not a recovery memoir."

She intends to write about her "ambivalence" about drugs, which she still uses.

"Addiction is a glittering disease as much as it is a devastating one. Rehabs and healthy daylight life have bored me to death every time I've tried them. I've spent the last fifteen years feeling, alternately, like I was drowning in addiction or that the black magic of drugs and being high was literally my life force, making me perform better than everybody else. And so I keep using (or do I? — stay tuned; I don't even know myself)."

The proposal closes with a glamour shot of Marnell and the words:

I will write a New York Times #1 Bestseller. Swag!

#Youtube

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creativebrainrot · 1 year

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I want to write up a little open journal entry about yesterday, and well. Life, lately.

Content Warning for the death of a pet. mentions of abuse. mentions of my abuser.

Today was the day of my childhood pet's vet appointment. BK had been off her thyroid medication since late January / early February this year. I didn't realize how long that was, my dad had been trying and failing to save up for her healthcare. Yesterday, she was panting, didn't want to be touched, on top of other health issues we noticed this/last week, and we knew she was dying. One day off of her appointment, after we finally had managed to save up. When we set the appointment it was a 17 day long wait, and I knew she wouldn't make it. She was put to rest yesterday, I asked my dad to take her to vet to be put to sleep. I've watched too many animals die slowly in this house because we couldn't take care of them. We had saved up just enough for her euthanasia.

The night of the 25th I thought she was already dying, so I pet her and laid my head on her body like one last goodbye but she woke up. I tried to sleep but I had to check on her one more time before I could and when I looked where she usually was, she was still staring at my bedroom door.

When I woke up she was already in a bad state.

I got one last goodbye and goodmorning from her.

she was a really cute cat, I had her since I was 4 or 5. She died at 17 or 16 years old and she was so so so happy and sweet and cute for every single one of those years.

I couldn't go to the vet's with my dad. I had just woken up and I despise crying infront of other people. I don't like it. (I don't like it because I don't look how I should. no other reason. people see a "short little girl" and I hate it.)

We tried to work a bit yesterday, the day she left. But our car's engine light came on, and that was just too much to deal with.

I have no reason to stay in this house anymore. Neither does my dad. Today, 27th of April, 2023, we're going to seriously start moving. Selling things we don't want, packing up what we do want.

We spent this whole year so far trying to just save up enough to move smoothly but honestly? I think it will feel smooth even if we have to buy a car that's definitely a one-way ticket. Even if it's the worst used-lemon of a car we've ever driven before, we'll be somewhere that's finally our's.

This house was the very last bargaining chip our abuser used against us. I cannot emphasize enough that everything was rigged against us from the very start. The mortgage company won't talk to my dad. When our abuser was alive they didn't talk to my dad either- none of the companies did. My dad wasn't the sole owner so he never got to apply for any of the housing aid he wanted to. and then desantis. who doesn't exactly "like" poor people. like us. or anyone remotely like us at all, actually.

If we can just get to somewhere new- be it a mobile home, two apartments, a house in a state like this one, it will STILL be an upgrade. Because the system, including our own personal abuser, never let this be our house. This is just "where we're stuck living," and it's been that my entire life.

my dad wanted so badly to fix this house up and love it but everyday it gets a bit harder to stay here. Everyday a new issue crops up that makes us ask, "why are we still trying to live here?"

even if we did like the house, we're still in a state that get's too hot for us to live comfortably, we're still in a state that wants us dead. we're still cut off from care we need and in a state where everything is too expensive for us.

So it's time to say goodbye and move. I'm only 21 and I don't want to watch my dad die in this house- he's in good health. And we want it to stay that way. We're hoping Maine has clinics that we can afford care from easier. DoorDash usually gets us 20$ an hour, so if we can get a car that can keep driving or maybe fix our current one, we'll be right back on our feet. My dad was looking into DoorDash's e-bike program, he really loves working for DoorDash.

My personal dream is an apartment all to myself that's just the right size for my cat and I, that I can make money off of vocal work & art from. I want to work from home so that I'm never forced outside when I don't want to be or can't handle it. I want to work from home because all my friends right now are online. I want a nice apartment within walking distance of nice places.

I want true freedom for myself and my dad. and I think, we'll get that.

no matter what.

#death of a pet #animal death #and thank you to every single one of you who boosted the donation post or donated to us #you have no idea how much that means to me #i spent 20 years convinced id never be more than a footnote in other people's lives #convinced i was the single exception to human kindess #all because of the poison my abuser fed into my mind #but no #the child i kept alive in my heart was right this entire time #that little kid who feared nothing and no one #always knew he was fucking lying to us #so thank you. for caring. for proving my demons wrong. and for proving that prick wrong.#I knew other people were not as heartless as him.#The one thing I will never regret is keeping hope alive in my heart all these years through any means necessary.#rottingjournals #rotthoughts

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supercorp-exile · 2 years

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Supercorptober Day 2 - Swift

The first thing Kara noticed, after the commotion had subdued and she was finally settled in the Kent’s living room, was the thin golden thread tied to her wrist that seemed to extend infinitely, never touching a thing. She also noticed Clark was the only one who seemed to have one; his parent’s wrists were bare, and Kara couldn't see anything on the people on TV either.

Before bed, when Clark was showing her where she would sleep until they figured out what to do with this situation, as he had put it, she asked him about it.

“Oh, I’ve just always had it, for as long as I can remember. Honestly, I have no idea what it is. No one else has it, my parents don’t know anything about it.”

“Have you ever tried following it?”

Kara wonders where the string of fate will lead her.

[Read it on Ao3]

Before bed, when Clark was showing her where she would sleep until they figured out what to do with this situation, as he had put it, she asked him about it.

“Oh, I’ve just always had it, for as long as I can remember. Honestly, I have no idea what it is. No one else has it, my parents don’t know anything about it.”

“Have you ever tried following it?”

“I did, a few times when I was younger. Never got anywhere, just seemed to stretch on and on forever. And I ran after it, at superspeed. Nothing. Then I met someone and it actually ends with her. I don’t know what it means, though. But it’s certainly useful when I need her.”

They wouldn’t talk about it again for a long time.

Earth was a lot and Kara missed home. It was beautiful and so many things were new and different and made her so curious to know more. But it was also a reminder that this was home now and she would never see Krypton or her family again.

Her developing powers weren’t exactly fun either. She was afraid to touch anything, to run, even to open her eyes in the morning, too scared they would manifest at any time and she’d hurt someone or out herself.

The cat helped. There was a stray one day on her way to school, hiding behind a tree, seemingly alone, so she shared a little of her packed lunch and the kitten had rubbed himself on her legs with a full belly. Kara called him Streaky. He was her only friend, and still Kara was too afraid to pet him in fear of hurting the poor thing. So she started training, everyday, to control her powers.

The day she finally felt confident enough to run her hands through his fur and rub his belly would be etched into her memory forever.

On the year Kara turned 16 Earth years, she finally got the okay from Eliza to work a part-time job. Alex had gotten her license the year before, after saving up for it herself and Kara, supported by her adoptive mother under the fostering responsibility speech, wanted to do the same. Alex remained skeptical.

“You’re already a disaster on your own two feet, you’re gonna suck at driving.”

Despite her teasing, her sister obliged and tried her best to teach Kara how to drive Eliza’s car.

So, one week after her 16th birthday party, Kara Danvers started her new job at the yogurt shop near the park. Every Tuesday to Saturday after school, Kara would entertain the throngs of parents taking out their kids, teenagers with friends and on dates, and old retired people who liked to sit down with a healthy snack and read a book or people-watch.

When she had finally amassed enough money for her license and passed her test with flying colors, Kara decided she’d keep the job for as long as she could. Turns out it felt good being surrounded by happy people for four hours a day, and she got discounts on her yogurt. Win-win.

“Have you not saved enough to buy your own shitty car yet?” Alex asked after the third night in a row they went out in her van.

“I have, but I don’t want one.” Kara said, humming happily to the song on the radio. “I just wanted to do something normal.”

Kara tried to follow it once. She had long acquiesced to the golden thread on her wrist. She barely even noticed it anymore. But every now and then, she would get the curiosity bug and think back to that conversation with Clark on her first day on this planet.

Her first couple years on Earth she didn’t have much time to really dwell on it, she was too busy trying to acclimate, to fit in, to feel like she belonged. Then she started getting an itch about it every now and then, and she’d often lie in bed at night staring at it, feeling the ethereal thread under her fingertips, wondering what it meant. It was clear to her that this was something only she and Clark could see, but she wondered if everyone had it and it just wasn’t visible. She certainly didn't have it on Krypton and she was pretty sure Clark’s wouldn’t either.

But in the morning she would forget all about it, get busy with her day, and try to live as a normal human would. Humans, in Kara’s opinion, were very complicated. And to make matters worse, teenagers seemed to be even more. Her popularity didn’t improve by much in high school. She made a few more friends as the years went by, had her first crushes, but never acted on them, too afraid of what that might entail.

Her passion for journalism grew every year, and she yearned to make a difference in a way that was acceptable, that wouldn’t get her told off by everyone in her life. She joined the school newspaper, did her best to forget about her powers, and tried not to worry too much about Alex’s impending move to university. Soon, it would be just Eliza and her, and as much as Kara loved her adoptive mother, she knew she’d miss her sister like hell.

On Alex’s last weekend home, in the midst of packing up her things and reminiscing and drying Eliza’s tears, her sister snuck out a bottle of gin that was hidden in Jeremiah’s old office into her car. Kara had been fidgety all week, and the slowly changing landscape of their room had her playing with her wrist way more often than usual. Despite the warm air and the excitement around them in the car, Kara felt uneasy. By the time they stretched their legs on the sand by the sea, taking a gulp of gin each, Alex had picked up on it.

“What’s up with you today? You’ve been nervous all week, but if you weren't invulnerable you’d have turned the skin on your wrist upside down by now. Spill.”

Kara had never told anyone about it. She didn’t even intend to. But, in that moment, she felt trapped, imaginary walls tightening around her like one of the panic attacks she used to have when she got here, and she felt like Alex should now. It’s not like she would be leaving forever, she’d be just a few miles away in National City, right? But Kara’s heart wouldn’t settle, wouldn’t help but feel alone and abandoned. What if something happened to Alex and she wasn’t there to help? What if Alex made other friends, better friends, and decided having a little sister wasn’t so great after all? What if she lost her family again?

Kara smiled nervously. Sitting on the sand on their favorite strip of beach, she told Alex all of her worries, all her insecurities, all of the feelings plaguing her mind about being left behind again. She didn’t want there to be any secrets between them. And when they hugged it out, dried their tears and downed half the bottle, Kara spilled the last secret she had kept from her sister.

“Shut up… You’re joking right? Stop pulling my leg, Kara.” Alex looked at her, unbelieving.

“I’m not. I swear by the light of Rao, Alex, it’s real. I can see it right now. That’s why I pull on my wrist all the time. I’m playing with it. I swear. Clark and I are the only ones who have it.”

Kara could see Alex was skeptical. But she also saw softness in her sister’s eyes (behind the onset of drunkenness), and she knew Alex was trying to believe her.

“Okay, well. It must be a kryptonian thing then. Clark really has no idea?”

“He didn’t four years ago. I doubt he does now.”

Alex sighed, took another sip and handed her the bottle. Kara took a healthy swig, sat the bottle on the sand in between her feet.

“Have you tried it?” Alex asks.

“Tried what?”

“Following it, you dummy. ”

“Well, no.”

“Why not?”

Kara shrugged. Looked out into the sea.

“What if it really is nothing?”

“Then nothing will change, and you will know. You live your life. None of us know shit about life, anyways.”

“Okay.”

Alex looked at her. “Okay?”

“Yeah, you’re right. I should try at least once.”

“Do it now then, before you chicken out. I’ll wait here.”

“You sure?”

“Be quick or I’ll finish this by myself” Alex said, holding up the booze to illustrate her point.

“Okay...” Kara gets up, brushes the sand off her clothes. “Here goes nothing.”

Then a blur. Looking out at the sea and the stars, Alex hears the ruckus of a few kids partying out in the distance. Takes another swig. Looks at her watch.

By the time she feels the swoosh beside her and Kara’s dropping back down on the sand, the gin is almost gone.

“So?” She asks, but she already knows the answer. Kara’s shoulders are sagged and her pout is visible on her face. She passes her sister the bottle again.

“Nothing. Just goes on and on.” Kara finishes the gin in one long drink, and sets the bottle back down. “I don’t know why I drink this anyway, it does nothing for me.”

“At least you tried, sis.”

Alex was the first person Kara called when she got accepted into NCU. Eliza insisted on celebrating and made Kara a chocolate pecan pie and they ate in the kitchen with Alex on FaceTime and, that day, she felt truly loved. That was also when they first came up with the idea of a road trip. “To celebrate your last summer of freedom, trust me, I know!”, her sister had said, and they settled on going to Los Angeles.

It was the most fun they’d had in years. Sleeping in cheap motels by the road, eating at roadside diners, singing along to the songs on the radio. It was so good, Kara didn’t notice anything strange about her sister until they got to LA.

It was still good. They did all the touristy activities, hung around the celebrity spots expecting a glimpse of someone they recognized, went to indie movie festivals, ate at spots that cost more than they could afford, and spent their nights in the hotel room watching old movies on TV. But every day Alex would drink a little too much, and eat too little, and Kara started to worry. But no matter how many times she asked, Alex would always change the subject or say it was all on her mind. Kara didn’t buy it. But really, what else could she do besides enjoy the time with her sister?

Months later, when things got rough and Alex’s drinking problem got out of hand, Kara would ask herself if she could’ve done more.

Clark and Lois got married on a sunny afternoon during Kara's second year of college. It was an intimate, but beautiful, ceremony, only a handful of their closest friends and family. Kara couldn’t take her eyes off his wrist.

Sitting there clear as day was the golden thread, as shrunk as Kara had ever seen, ending straight around Lois’ own wrist. It stretched when they parted, a push and pull of invisible fabric no one but her could see. She tried to enjoy the night, keep her thoughts stored in a box and celebrate her only living kin, but her eyes betrayed her every time.

It wasn’t until everything was done and they were leaving to catch a plane back to National City that her cousin pulled her aside.

“I need to tell you something.” Clark’s voice was low, almost a whisper, like he was about to tell her a secret. “It’s about the thread. You know.” He pointed to their wrists with his eyes. Kara’s breath hitched.

“What about it?”

“I think I know what it is. Kara, I think it’s a soulmate bond.”

Clark was smiling at her, bright and infectious. Kara felt sick.

“I know it sounds insane, trust me. But it never led anywhere before I met Lois and, well…” he opened his arms, gesturing around him. “I know she’s the one, cuz.”

“But why didn’t you find her before? If that’s what it is, shouldn’t you have found her when you first followed it?”

“I know, I’ve been thinking about it. My guess is, it only leads soulmates together when it’s the right time. When they’re both ready.”

“Have you talked to her about it?” Kara asked, and she felt her throat dry.

“Yeah, but she thinks I’m crazy, that it’s just some kryptonian thing that we never knew about. I’m pretty sure though. I guess time will tell.” He shrugged. “Just. Pay attention, okay? Trust me, you’ll want to.”

Clark patted her shoulder a couple times and gave her a hug, leading her back to the car where Alex and Eliza sat waiting for her. Kara fidgeted with her wrist the whole way home.

It was the shittiest, dirtiest, most disgusting dive bar Kara had ever laid eyes on. But her friends wanted to drink to celebrate her promotion and Alex thought it might do her good, so they went. They sat, drank and played pool and Winn even sang a few songs with her before they were told to shut up (“he’s drunk, Kara, what’s your excuse?”).

All things considered, it was a fun night, filled with laughter and love. So when she stumbled out of the bar at around midnight holding up a drunken Alex, a big smile plastered around her face, she expected anything but to finally - finally - see the end of her golden thread.

She almost missed it too. But Alex’s feet were unsteady and she tripped, and when Kara lurched to catch her and she looked up again, her eyes followed the thread almost casually, like she’d done so many times before. Except now, there was someone else at the end of it. A woman standing on a corner, waiting for a car to pull up.

The golden thread wrapped around her wrist, a lasso of bright yellow on her right hand that was currently holding up her phone. And Kara was so shocked, so utterly dismayed by the improbability in front of her, she didn’t register the woman’s face until it was too late and she was getting into the back seat of a black SUV, rapidly disappearing into traffic.

Her heart was heavy when she got to Alex's apartment, eyes watery and stinging. She put her sister to bed and the next day, when Alex had sobered up, Kara let her tears fall and the weight on her chest be shared.

"You really didn't see her face? Or her license plate or anything?"

"No, and no, I'm not a stalker. Also I think it was a cab or something, it probably wouldn't help." She let her head fall to her sister's shoulder and sighed. "I don't know what to do. I've been waiting for this for years, and now I feel I let it slip away."

"I'm so sorry sis. I really wish you'd had a chance to figure it out. Maybe this woman would know something. Maybe she's an alien too?"

"Yeah, about that… I need to tell you something. Kal talked to me about it. You remember he pulled me aside after his wedding when we were leaving?" Alex nodded. "Well, he has a theory. He thinks it's a soulmate bond. His thread leads to Lois."

Alex turned to her, confused, dislodging Kara from her shoulder.

"You're joking. That's ridiculous."

Kara knew her sister would be skeptical. She knew because it sounds insane, even to her own ears, and Alex had always been so much less of a believer than her.

"Lois agrees." She shrugged. "But I don't know, Alex. What else could it be? Don't you think it makes at least a little bit of sense?"

"Well, no. I get your cousin thinks that because his ends with his wife, but yours also leads to a woman. So you can tell your cousin his theory is a bust." Alex finished with a flourish of her finger on Kara's chest.

"Yeah, so? She could be my soulmate." Kara felt anxiety bubble up in her when Alex's eyes shot straight to hers, her expression changing from a playful to a serious one.

"Stop messing around, you're not gay. There was Kenny and those other two guys after him."

"Well, I'm not, but that doesn't mean I don't like girls too"

Kara's eyes were down, and she knew. Alex could tell she was nervous.

"Oh. I didn't know that."

"It's okay. I never told you. It's just, it wasn't really a thing on Krypton and when I found out it was a problem here on Earth I guess I got scared to say anything, so. There it is. I'm saying it now."

Alex let out a breath, took her sister's hands on hers. Kara looked up.

"Hey, it's okay. There's nothing wrong with that. I'm sorry you felt you couldn't tell me something about yourself."

By the end of the night, there were three discarded pizza boxes on the floor and lots of shared hugs. Kara felt lighter, but something still tugged strongly in the back of her mind, pulling her thoughts every now and then.

What if I never find her again?

The next few days after that, she was a mess. She was sloppy and forgetful and couldn't focus, her work paying the price, and she kept getting reprimanded by Ms. Grant.

Kara tried following it again multiple times in the days to come, but to no avail, every time coming up empty, the thread extending infinitely again. She had never felt so frustrated about it and for so long.

It was worse now that she actually knew that there was someone on the other side, another soul that was somehow connected to her in some mysterious way. Before that night, there was only hope, a promise in the unknown of some sort of destiny Kara unconsciously clung to, even when she tried her hardest to let it go. But now she felt a sense of certainty, a sureness she had never known before about her future. She finally had something (someone) to look forward to.

Revealing herself to the world had not been expected, let alone planned. It also hadn't gone exactly well.

Sure it felt that way the first few times, but with her and Alex at odds every now and then, the people questioning her ability to be an effective superhero, and finding out that not only her aunt Astra was alive and on Earth but that her parents had lied to her and had been responsible for her planet's destruction, Kara felt a little off balance.

Scratch that, she felt a lot off balance. The high from finally being able to be herself (if not fully, at least partially) and doing what had always wanted to do wore off quicker than she wished for. In its wake, there was doubt for herself and resentment for her family.

Nevertheless, she carried on. She lived her life, she was the best superhero she could be, she learned from her mistakes and tried to learn from the mistakes of those around her. To deal with the added trauma of finding out the truth about her family and feeling responsible for the death of one of the people she loved the most after just having gotten her back.

On those worst days when rage and guilt shot through her mind like a knife, when it was hardest not to wish she'd died with her homeworld and even the warmth of her sister's embrace couldn't bring her enough comfort, Kara would try to push through the pain by pushing her body. And in the dark of night, when no one could hear her, she would fly far out of the atmosphere, where no one could hear her scream.

On those nights, she used to dream of her. Of a thin wrist covered by golden thread, manicured fingernails on long, slender fingers gripping a phone. Of a dark blue trench coat and high, expensive heels on the sidewalk. Of the fine line extending from her own wrist like a cobblestone path, leading to the promised land. Kara could never see her face.

Clark was the first one to see it. Kara only noticed once she was already inside the office, traipsing behind him without a clear idea of what she was supposed to be doing. But Ms. Luthor raised her hand to put away her bag and when she turned around, Kara could see nothing else. Clear gold tangled up over a golden watch, ending on Kara’s own wrist. She almost missed it when a question was directed at her.

“And who are you, exactly?”

Kara almost forgot her own name. Her heart was pounding away in her chest, threatening to break through its cage. She wanted to scream. Her hands were sweating, clutching tight to her notepad, adjusting her glasses when they were perfectly fine.

It felt like she was hearing everything inside an echo chamber, the voices far away and too close at the same time. She felt her brain and her body were incapable of deciding what to do, a constant whiplash between looking at Lena and trying to catalog every single detail of the face she had been chasing for so long and looking away, afraid that it was all an illusion and she would disappear at any moment.

And then it was over. Clark was leading her out of the office, a hand firmly wrapped on her shoulder, and when she looked back for a second, her eyes met Lena’s. When Kara came to, her cousin was shoving her inside an empty elevator.

“Clark did you se-”

“Not here, Kara.”

The look she got was severe, closer to the one he’d shot her that first day on Earth and didn’t know what to do with her.

When they were finally on the street, walking away from the Luthorcorp building and into a busy sidewalk, Kal shoved her to the side.

“So you did see it.” Kara’s voice was small and frail, like a child about to get reprimanded by an adult.

“Yeah, I did. Did you know?”

“Did I know what?”

“Did you know your thread led to a Luthor?!” He said the name like he was spitting poison. Kara flinched.

“No. I didn’t.”

Sighing, her cousin closed his eyes and swiped his hand on his forehead. “I can’t believe this. This is the worst possible scenario.”

Kara let go of the breath she’d been holding, willing her heartbeat to slow a little. She was shaking. She finally had an answer to the one question she had since she came to this planet, and she felt like crying. Kal wasn’t helping.

“Look. I know you and the Luthors have a complicated history and I know I’m not a reporter or anything but… I kinda believed her.”

“Yeah… just. Look, I won’t tell you what to do Kara, but just be careful. I know what they’re capable of and I don’t want you to get hurt.”

Kara gave him a weak smile, held his hand.

“I know. Can you be happy for me, though, just today? That I finally found her?”

“Okay, yeah, you’re right. We’ll have to deal with this later but for now I’ll let it go.”

They walked the rest of the way with his arm around her shoulders, and she kept the rest to herself.

Kara didn’t tell anyone. Not even Alex. No matter how much she wanted to, her cousin’s words clung to her head, like a stain she couldn’t get rid of.

A Luthor.

The worst possible scenario.

I don’t want you to get hurt.

She tried to let it go. She really did.

But then Lena was there, sitting alone at a table and Kara couldn’t help herself. She had to try. So she sat. They talked.

After that, Kara never tried again.

Okay. This is it, Kara. It’s now or never, she thought to herself.

Sitting at a table on her sister's happiest day, watching her play with her daughter and begin a new future with her own family, Kara had yearned. She had felt and mused and, at last, she had decided. Not today, but soon.

Not too long ago, she told her sister she didn’t want to be alone anymore, but Alex didn’t get it. How could she? She’d just gotten Kara back from the Phantom Zone and everything was chaos. Kara wasn’t even sure her sister remembered about the thread, let alone to whom it led. It had been so long since they last discussed it.

But since coming back, Kara couldn’t think of anything else. She and Lena had been through so much since that first encounter. So much had been said and done, and worse, so much had been left unsaid. And she almost died back in the same hell she thought she’d escaped as a child. But Lena had saved her.

And Kara wasn’t even talking the sun bomb. No, Kara’s psyche had almost been destroyed in the Phantom Zone, succumbing to the worst of her fears. Only two things had pushed her through: the ghost of her father, and Lena. Lena and that damned golden thread she didn’t know about, and Kara knew she had to tell her. She couldn’t die there, because Lena had to know. She had to know herself. To put an end to all the what if’s she’d build for herself throughout so many years of loneliness and guilt. She wanted to live, and more than anything, now she had someone she wanted to share her life with. She wanted what Alex and Kelly had. What Nia and Brainy had, what J’onn and M’gann had. Most of all, she wanted what Kal and Lois had. She wanted her soulmate.

But the wedding had passed and Kara held her tongue because she didn’t want the day to be about anything else other than her sister’s happiness. And she and Lena had settled into the most beautiful, delightful routine, a life as domestic as she could’ve dreamed of. Still, Kara said nothing, afraid to break the spell. Afraid she had misread the signs. Afraid to have her hopes crushed. Afraid of a life doomed to be lived alone, with the love of her life just out of touch.

And she was content, she really was, to have Lena as a friend, to have her in her life in whatever capacity the woman could afford her. Except a weight kept growing in her chest every time Lena got close, everytime their eyes met, their hands touched. Everytime Lena’s heartbeat picked up with no apparent reason. Until the day came when Kara couldn’t think of any good reasons not to live by her own words. Be brave. Stronger together. I don’t wanna be alone anymore.

So she took a deep breath and knocked on Lena’s door, her eyes fixed on the thread around her racing pulse.

“Kara! What a sur-”

“I’m sorry.” Kara blurted out before Lena could finish. Confused, Lena frowned. “I need to tell you something. Many things actually. But first I need to apologize. Please just let me do this before I lose my nerve.”

Lena’s expression changed, grasping the urgency in her friend's voice, and she stood to the side to let Kara in.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I was a complete jerk to you during the whole Reign thing. I was scared and I let it get the best of me. I was a horrible, condescending jerk when I should’ve been your friend - no, let me finish”, Kara held up a hand when she saw Lena gearing up to talk. “I should’ve told you who I was back then. I tried, and I was a selfish coward and then everything went to hell. And I should never, never have violated your trust the way I did. I’m sorry for that. I did you wrong in so many ways Lena, but most of all, I’m sorry that I called you a villain. I’ll never forgive myself for that, but I did it and I never apologized. So here it is. I’m sorry.”

“I never told you, but something happened that day, and you need to know. Do you remember what we told you about Mxy?”

Lena looked even more confused now.

“The 5th dimension imp?”

“Yes, well, that day, he had come to me and offered a favor. He offered to take me back in time so I could see how things would’ve turned out if I had told you about Supergirl sooner. So I took it and I went back and every time things looked good something bad happened. I saw things crash and burn in a dozen different ways for you and me and everyone around us and it seemed that there was no good choice. I saw you die. No matter how far back I went, I couldn’t make it work. I was convinced there was no saving us. And it broke my heart. So I broke yours, again.”

“Why are you telling me all this now, Kara?”

Okay. This is it, Kara. It’s now or never, she thought to herself.

“You saved me, Lena. More times than I can count. You saved us all. But me? I never thought I’d miss someone, want for someone, the way I want you. Not after I lost my whole world. I didn’t think I’d ever feel that kind of pain again.” Taking a step closer, Kara reached for Lena’s right hand. It was sweating and cold at the same time, her body rigid and breathing almost at a halt. As if put on wait. Intertwining their fingers, she watched the two threads that had connected them her whole life dance together and took a deep breath. “There’s an invisible string on my wrist. It’s gold and it’s beautiful and no one can see it but me and Kal. His’ leads to Lois.”

Lifting her eyes up to look at Lena’s, she said, “Mine leads to you.”

Kara’s body was still, her mind calm, as if putting it out there gave her clarity. She could hear Lena’s racing heart like thunder in her ears.

“I saw you once on the street, just after I first got promoted at CatCo. I didn’t see your face and I didn’t know who you were, but it was the first time I knew there was someone at the end of it. After that, I dreamed of you for months, a faceless woman whom I had searched for for half of my life. That day I walked into your office was terrifying and exhilarating at the same time. But I didn’t really know what it meant. The thread, or you, what you would mean to me. I do now.”

Holding Lena’s hand between hers, she placed it over her own.

“I love you, Lena. I’ve loved you for a long time. And I think you love me too. Please tell me I haven't read this wrong.”

Lena didn’t move at first. She just stood there, eyes locked to hers, one hand over her heart, another holding her bicep. But then her body shifted and, as if in slow motion, Lena’s body urged up, and their lips were touching and Kara felt like flying even though her body was still firmly planted on the ground.

“No. You haven’t.”

“Here you go, miss.”

The waitress settled the bottle of champagne on the table between them with care, placing a glass in front of each of them. When she motioned to serve, Kara stopped her, motioning she would do it herself. The woman was about to leave when she looked curiously at Kara, who waited patiently for her to say:

“Has anyone ever told you look a lot like that American singer, ma’am? What’s her name again, I can’t recall right now…”

“I don’t think I’ve even heard this one before, no. Sorry to disappoint, but no, I’m not a singer.” Kara answered, amused.

Looking quizzically at her, the woman tried to pull a memory from her mind, and failed.

“Nevermind, it’ll come to me later. Enjoy your champagne!”

“Thank you!” She called out to the retreating waitress before turning back to her girlfriend. “What??”

“Nothing!” Lena said, “I’m just… it amazes me how much people don’t want to see sometimes. I still can’t believe you don’t get recognized so often.”

Kara shrugged.

“I guess people just don’t expect me to behave, you know, like a normal person. I don’t mind though, it’s better this way.”

A moment after, she was pouring champagne into their glasses and holding it up to a toast.

“To us. To three more amazing years.” Their glasses clinked, and the light reflected on them shone down on the golden thread connected to Lena’s pulse, catching Kara’s eye. “I love you, Lena Luthor.”

“Well, I still can’t believe I let you talk me into drinking this terrible champagne, so I clearly love you more.”

Kara chuckled.

“I didn’t realize this was a competition, babe.”

“It’s not. I’m just stating a fact.”

Taking a sip of her glass, Kara held her hand out for her girlfriend to take and watched the small crowds outside by the lake. They had decided to come to the Lake District for their third anniversary, to have some quiet time. A romantic getaway of sorts. Kara had suggested a trip, and Lena had suggested the place, since she’s always meant to visit but didn’t want to come alone. So here they were.

Almost two years ago, after over a year of hiding her and Lena’s relationship from the rest of the world, Kara had felt it was time to come out. Not only with her relationship, but with who she was. Being Supergirl while being in love had always been a struggle, and they both agreed that Kara’s life would be freer if she could live fully as herself. So soon after their one year anniversary, she sat down for an exclusive interview with Cat Grant herself and came out as Kara Zor-el to the world. After that, she and Lena didn’t bother hiding their relationship anymore, and the world quickly picked up on it .

Now, watching the love of her like sip bad champagne with a frown on her face and a warm hand on hers, Kara felt whole. She looked at the invisible string connecting their wrists, one single thread of gold tying her to Lena, and thanked Rao for whatever luck had led her to the joy of true love.

The grounding weight of the wedding band on her breast pocket was heavy on her mind. Now all Lena needed to do was say yes.

#supercorp #supergirl #supercorptober2022 #supercorptober #kara danvers #kara zor el #my writing #lena luthor

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anicekidlikeme · 5 months

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I wake up next to you, and also our lovely morning mess!

It's been a few weeks now that Drew has been sleeping over in my tiny (tiny) dorm room with me, and while I have no straight explaination for why this has been happening, I can't deny myself the happiness of our little living arrangement for the time being.

We have a pretty solid routine: We both spend our days getting all our work done, and he drives here after work. We both take our end-of-day showers, watch a stupid show on my tiny computer, eat dining hall food, and then fall asleep talking in my twinXL bed. I know in writing none of this sounds very appealing, and if the universe magically were to hand us a nice apartment to live in we would both pounce at the opportunity, but for now, there is nothing I would change about our little love-bubble.

Maybe this is a symptom of the honeymoon phase, but it makes me wonder how life would be if we could keep doing this every day, long after I graduate, long after I have a mid-life crisis, and long after my visa expires. Because of our shared messiness, every night we go to bed amidst a pretty substantial pile of trash. I am looking around now, and I see my makeup everywhere, his shirt on the floor, a whiskey glass full of pistachio shells, a single lonely sock wondering where his friend went, and a whole bunch of tissues from my boyfriend's very very snotty nose. My floors are so dirty, and there are pizza-crumbs everywhere I turn. I wake up to some vague arrangement of this clutter everyday, and God do I love it. I would never admit this out loud in fear that germophobia will quickly be discredited, but looking at last-nights mess every morning reminds me also of all the last nights we've had. It doesn't take too long into knowing Drew to reallize why a girl could be so happy to have so many last-nights with him.

I get accused often of gushing about him too much, and admittedly I am always guilty, the part that scares me so much about this with our recent arrangement, is that I have noticed myself growing fonder of Drew with each day. We often talk in hypotheticals about moving to South Carolina once I graduate. He's visited a few times and has been gushing about how I would love it there ever since we first started dating. In my head, there rests a big beautiful box with a collection of my dreams. This one is the sweetest (maybe in part because it is one we share). I have a few other dreams too, and they've all changed shapes to fit into my life with him. That is something else I have noticed. I've been trying to think more about how life would be if those hypotheticals did one day work out. What if we actually moved, got a shitty apartment, and raised cats instead of breaking up in a year like everybody in their 20's does. We could have so many plants, and a nice big couch. What if he proposed and we got married? Gosh, we've only been dating 6 months. How did I get so ballsy?

You know when you date somebody for so long you convince yourself that this may be the luck of your draw? I have known that feeling for so long, without even really liking any of the people I've been with. After I broke up with Peter, I had a long honest conversation with my friends about why I only date men I don't like: it always felt easier that way. You just get through it, and on occasion share a nice cuddle or two. Dating was just something I did because the idea of attachment and emotional intimacy and all of that shit feels so amazing. It's harder to like somebody, and it is so much harder to love them. You have to really let them get to know you, trust them, share your interests with them, be vulnerable with them, think about them, be with them, and worst of all, have meaningful sex. Although pretending I was in love and having meaningless sex with long term boyfriends was very easy, the real deal sounded like the hardest thing in the world. I realized I had thrown away even the most remote possibility of loving Peter after one specific fight. His friend was rude to me, alarmingly fucking so by the way, and I was mad. Boy did I let him know. I remember all his exact words. He said, "Vaibhavi, although I trust that this is your version of the truth, it's not mine so I dont feel comfortable standing up for you. I think it's fine". I know, what kind of fucking liberal bullshit was that? We dated for two years. I loved his family, I loved his cat, and I loved how spending the summers with them satisfied my craving for a perfect nuclear family. They ate together, had movie nights, and kept each other updated through an adorably full shared-calendar. I think that was reason enough to stay. I would sit and think to myself, I've already gone so deep, backing out now would be crazy. What will his parents think? How will they react? I asked those same questions to Peter the eventful morning of our breakup, and he told me not to worry because the truth was, they did not care. He was awfully good at honesty, and I guess he just couldn't understand why someone he thought existed only in the context of him could matter to other people. That was the part that hurt the most, and then 5 minutes later it was fine. I called Atharva, then I called Fawwaz, then I called Will. I cried and I cried (they were tears of joy, actually). I finally got out. I had finally done it. An hour later, I downloaded Tinder.

It turns out, love is the easiest thing in the fucking world. As much as I was dreading it, I have been flipped into a sappy sucker now. With Drew, I feel like I have so much space. He makes space for me to be 100% Vaibhavi. I am allowed to feel shitty, to cry, to laugh too loudly, to eat whatever I want, to be tired. It's amazing. Sometimes I feel as though when I am with Drew, there is a huge big sky that has newly opened up around my heart. It turns out the emotional intimacy thing is not so hard either. Rather naturally, Drew and I quickly fell into a comfortable pattern of being each other's first people whenever there's a story worth telling, or a bad day worth talking about. Love is very very different from anything I have ever felt before. It exists in abundance, and you just kind of do it. As far as meaningful sex is concerned, that shit is the real deal.

This is not to say my relationship is perfect (although I do believe it is perfect for me, I know better than to make bold claims of objectivity). I would never want to minimize the complicated-messy-dirty-ugly parts of our relationship, because they make us so whole that sometimes it is important to sit with them for just a minute. Once Drew and I broke up. I understand why we did, I understand what caused it, I understand why we are back together, and I understand what we must work on. Despite my new-found maturity about that situation, it did still suck, and I almost never really talk about it (although I will make one or two foul jokes about it to Drew). It's like one of those glass jars on the top shelf that you put there because it's not of that much use to you. As time passes, you never do take it out, probably because of a new, more dire fear that it may break if you don't do it just right. Gotta be careful when dealing with glass. But here I am, taking the jar out.

The night it happened, I was wearing his green sweatshirt (that I can no longer even look at), and some stupid leggings situation. I stayed in those clothes for the three days that we were broken up. Atharva told me it was so important for me to shower, but I was scared that if I took the sweatshirt off, then it would mark some definite end to our relationship. Our lovely warm love. The first thing I did after Drew left that night was call him. And I cried. Then I called my friends, and I cried and I cried. I had never felt such pain in my whole life, and I was so confused by why it was that I cared so much? I have been through endless breakups without a scratch, and for some reason my little tinder fling had my heart shattered like I have never witnessed before. I got no sleep, I couldnt eat. I was just so confused by how a person I had no reason to believe would ever leave my life would leave. I had no reason to believe we would not move to South Carolina, and get two cats, and do all this white people shit that we had planned on. And then it was gone, and I couldn't understand. On Valentines day, Drew had given me a card that I treasure more than anything. I had stuck the card to my wall, and saved the envelope it came in, tucking it neatly under my textbooks.

Without disrupting the secrecy of Drew's feelings, the sparknotes version of the card said I love you way more than I have shown, and we have all the time in the world. One day, when I am king of all the lumber, I will give you that same world. The night we broke up, I took the card off the wall, and read it over and over again. I was thinking about how we actually might not have had all the time in the world. Infact, everything around me had started to feel un-ignorable and worryingly finite. Then I cried some more. I was angry, hurt, and understanding what it means to really care about someone. I wasn't perfect about this break up at all, but he was always there for me. I texted him, a lot. Please lets just forget about all this, I am sorry. I cant bear it any longer. I love you. It hurt just to send it. The whole time in my mind I was begging him to please run into me, please come over, please change his mind, please spontaneously decide to make some grand-gesture and come right back. What about the cats we were going to get? I often wonder how it would go down if I was ever the break-upper. Would he stop me? I am too scared to ask him, but a girl can hope.

Unfortunately, I am not wise enough to admit yet hey, this breakup was actually good for us. It helped us realize we need to communicate, and then all our problems seemed silly. It hurt a very deep attachment of mine, and I think it is actually important to respect that. Turns out you are allowed to be hurt, both of us are. I will say though that shit like this happens. We figured it out, and we found our rhythm, and its okay. It hurt, it sucked, it worked out. Talking about it feels like a huge relief. Kurt Vonnegut is my favorite author, and I like to revisit Slaughterhouse-Five every once in a while. “All moments, past, present and future, always have existed, always will exist.” All this happened, and here I am now, picking up used tissues from my floor. Loving every moment of it. I wish I was able to vocalize my love more. I wish there was a way to say out loud, I am so in love with you, you bring me back to life. But there isn't, not without being entirely embarassing atleast.

Here's what I will say, I actually do not know what is going to happen, but if we occasionally have to find ourselves out of a dirty, gross, complicated, achy feeling mess, I am more than happy to do it with you Drew. It is nice to sometimes float in a pool of my dreams. It is warm and the water feels good on my skin as I think about us being flabby-fourty year olds, or an annoyingly sloppy couple of 20-year-olds who desperately need to get a room. Whatever time we have left, I deeply cherish it. It completes me, it makes me feel like old Vaibhavi. A pre-daniel version I'd say.

It has been six months. I can hope for 6 million more.

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takecareluv · 2 years

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could you write something with vinnie maybe using this trend :) https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRRRSQC3/?k=1

a.n. hi!! :) sorry this took so long for me to put out. i hope this okay! i don't really use tiktok too often anymore so im not up to date with all the trends lol (im basically a grandma at this point with it) im not sure if you wanted it to be them recreating the tiktok or a situation based on it buttt this is what i came up with..! <3

crushin’ || vinnie hacker x reader

you and liza had been best friends since you moved to a l.a. a couple years back. you hung out basically everyday, which meant you would occasionally have to go with her to run errands for her boss, vinnie hacker.

you didn't know much about the famous tiktoker until liza began working for him.

you couldn't deny that he was extremely cute though, maybe even the cutest, and from the times you'd met him, you noticed his personality was just as amazing.

you developed a small crush on him that only got worse each time you were in his presence. he was always so kind to you, made you laugh more than anyone, and not to mention was a sight for sore eyes. and he had an adorable cat! you swore you were falling in love.

you would slyly attempt to bring him up whenever you were with liza, and even started to ask her to hang out when you knew she had to go over to vinnie's.

you felt bad because you didn't want liza to think you were using her to get closer to vinnie, but you couldn't help wanting to get to know him more. you honestly never thought you had a chance with him anyway, he was a total catch and you were just liza's annoying friend.

liza picked up on you flirtatious behavior around vinnie. she noticed the way you would bat your eyelashes at him and stare like he was the only boy in the world. it was then she realized her best friend was down bad for her other best friend.

anyone else might have been upset that you didn't disclose your feelings with your closest friend, but liza couldn't help but immediately love the idea of you two together. she thought you would be perfect for vinnie. plus it would get him to stop whining over not having a girlfriend, which would benefit everyone.

she then intentionally started asking you to hang when she had to go do something for the boy. you of course agreed every time, like she knew you would.

whenever you were all together, she would take note of how you both interacted with each other. she started to notice vinnie looking at you the same way you looked at him, how he would always sit next to you even when there were plenty of other seats open. and how he began asking for her to pick up your favorite snacks to keep in his room.

she couldn’t believe how oblivious you and vinnie were to how madly you both were crushing on each other. part of her just wanted to lock you in a room together until you confessed your feelings, but the other part of her wanted you to figure it out on your own. if it was meant to be, it'll be.

one day you and liza were out to lunch together, enjoying some quality one-on-one time after spending most of the week with the boys.

“hey do you mind if we take a quick picture?” she randomly asked.

“yeah, what for?”

“it’s for vinnie. he keeps bothering me to do stuff for him but i told him i couldn’t until later, and now he wants to know what has me so busy,” she explained slightly annoyed.

“oh, yeah. that's fine.” she watched as you sat up straight, fixing your hair and checking to make sure there was nothing on your face through your phone screen.

she giggled at the fact you wanted to look good for him, even if it was just for one silly little photo.

“okay, i’m ready.”

liza held up the camera and snapped the photo as you put on your best smile.

a few minutes had gone by and you were curious as to if he saw the picture yet. every time liza’s phone would buzz you would look over to see if it displayed vinnie’s name.

you wanted to know if he said anything about you, or if he even noticed you at all. after ten minutes it was bothering you so much you shyly asked, “has he responded yet?”

liza shook her head, but as if on cue, her phone dinged with a text from the man himself.

liza read the message in her head.

so when are you going to give me your friend’s number?

she smirked. it was finally happening.

“he asked when he’s going to get your number”

you blushed so hard. liza swore she’d never see you smile so big.

#vinnie hacker #vinnie hacker blurb #vinnie hacker imagine #vinnie hacker fanfic #vinnie hacker fluff #vinnie hacker x reader #vinnie hacker x y/n #vinnie hacker x you

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somebodynotimportant · 2 years

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Through the window~

Y/n lives alone in a two story house on a quiet street with a cat. They like to stream in their free time and attend University while at uni they have seen a guy looking at them a lot and through out the week they have noticed that their window has been slightly open and their sheets slightly ruffled so after they came home they went straight to their room and got changed

“Fuck they are perfect” Wilbur said to himself sitting in a tree next to their window as he watched them changed and once they left the room thats when he snuck in once again and grabbed one of their pillows but little did he know y/n didn’t leave their room. They have had a suspicion that this creep has been stalking them so now was the time to confront him as they entered their room silently and closed and locked the door so he couldn’t escape they watched this mans moves. He held their pillow to his face

“Fuck this pillow is so damn lucky i wish i could see y/n everyday and night~”

As he gave the pillow a sniff to get their sent he looked to his side and noticed y/n

“AH-AH- umm- ah-er he-he Y/n?” He suddenly shivering

“Hi Wilbur darling~” They said making their way over to him as they pulled the collar of his shirt down to make his face meet theirs

“Is this a dream?” Wilbur thought to himself

“Stalking me huh?” Y/n spoke calmly

“Y-ye-ahh” Wilbur surprisingly got out

“tsk tsk tsk if you wanted me you could of just asked” Y/n said pulling Wilbur into a kiss

“You like that huh?” They said pulling away as Wilbur said chasing their lips back

“Desperate huh? lay on the bed” Y/n said pointing to the bed

#simpbur #simpbur smut #idk

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nikrangdan · 3 years

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lovestruck!enhypen x reader

pairing: lovestruck!enhypen x reader

genre: FLUFF fluff Fluff

description: how enhypen would be if they became lovestruck by the reader ☹️☹️ this is such an adorable request!!!! itll vary for each member ur relationships so you’ll either be strangers or already dating etc.

a/n: idk if all of them are lovestruck exactly bc i just got carried away with the fluff for some of them and idky maknae line revolves around sleeping BUT IDC sleepy!enhypen is the best 😁

———————

HEESEUNG

u worked at a pretty popular clothing store

and well well well heeseung had shown up dressed very much your style so u were like

Wow who is this guy....

he was alone just looking around

and there were like 10 other people in the store but u wanted to talk to him so bad so u went up like

“hi, welcome! are u finding everything okay?”

he was looking through a rack of shirts and turned around when he heard u but WOW

when this man turned around he looked even better in person u couldnt believe it 😫

BUT IT SEEMS HE FELT THE SAME BC U SWEAR HE BECAME SO FLUSTERED WHEN HE TURNED AROUND

his eyes got so wide u almost laughed it was so cute ☹️

he stuttered and was like “oh um im okay”

Aw man

but u said “okay then! let me know if you need any help finding anything or if u wanna use a dressing room!” and u sent him ur nicest smile u could give

his eyes were still kinda wide open and u gave him one last look before turning around😢😢

BUT THEN HE SAID SOMETHING

“w-wait! actually.. um....uh.. do u.. do u guys have sweatpants..?”

u giggled to urself on the inside bc u knew he just made that up on the spot

“we do! here, follow me”

while u were showing him the clothes u guys had exchanged names and had some small talk

and that was the start of something very Beautiful

and since then he has been coming almost everyday to visit u at work 🤗🤗

JAY

jay swore he found new things about u to love every single day

and today wasnt an exception!!!!

u knew jay had been really tired and just worn out from work recently so u had decided to make him his favorite meal for dinner

a nice little surprise for when he got home ❤️

and also the anime he was watching ready on the tv for u two to watch together :(

u had literally been preparing all day and u even decided to go out and buy dessert too

AWESOMEST PERSON EVER U ARE!

it was 8pm already and jay should be getting home now

u set the table all neatly and put on one of his sweaters

AND WOULD U LOOK AT THAT HE GOT HOME AS SOON AS U WERE DONE

Fate 🔥🔥

romantic stuff like this wasnt really ur forte so this was out of the normal for u

but u wanted to do something for jay because he did stuff like this for u alot

the table isnt in view when u walk into the apartment so he wasnt able to see his dinner yet

“hi” you smile brightly and go up to hug him and give him a little kiss

he had his bad slung over one of his shoulders and he was taking his shoes off in the doorway after he closed it

“hey.. it smells pretty good in here” he gave you a tired smile while one of his arms was wrapped around your waist

“really? it smells normal to me” you giggled before walking to the kitchen area together

he stopped and looked at u with LITERAL HEARTS IN HIS EYES when he saw the table

jay: ❤️_❤️

“y/n..”

“surprise!!! you know im not good with words but i wanted to show you that i can cook” you laugh “and that i love you very much and im so proud of you”

jay doesnt say anything but instead drops his bag on the couch and gives u the Biggest Hug Ever

ur face is practically smushed in his chest and his hand is resting lovingly on ur hair :(((

he loves u so much im so sad

JAKE

“layla!!! layla where are you?” jake was yelling quite loudly in the massive park he was in the middle of

yeah jake lost layla.. uh oh

quite a coincidence you found the cutest dog you’d ever laid eyes on

and she seemed to love u very much

the dog had made u topple over and now she was excitedly playing with you while you were sat on the ground laughing to your hearts content

after a minute of playing you had got up because you knew she was somebodys lost dog and her owner was probably looking all over the park for her

“okay.. lets go find your owner before they have a heart attack” you giggle

just as you said that though, you heard a boys voice yell “LAYLA!!!!”

the dog next to you looked in his direction, tail wagging and tongue out, but she didnt move an inch from her spot next to you

it made me you laugh out loud

as you were watching the boy run up to you, you noticed how cute he actually was

Omg..... ur heart started beating a little faster

“hi..” the boy hunched over with his hands on his knees breathing very heavily “you have my dog”

“uh yeah” you laugh “sorry about that, she ran over to me a couple minutes ago and i was just about to go find her owner”

“its okay, thank you..” he trailed off to find out your name and finally looked up to meet your eyes

“y/n” you told him

“y/n” he repeated with a small grin on his face “im jake”

“hi jake” you lightheartedly give him your hand to shake and he chuckles before taking the offer

“and it was nice meeting you layla” you crouch down to meet her level and she licks your face making you fall on your butt

you laugh and jakes quick to help you up

“layla! thats not very nice” he jokingly scolds her and pets her head

after u got up u bid goodbye to the two before jake invited u to continue walking around the park AND HE EVEN BOUGHT U AN ICE CREAM

Is This A Date, Jake? 😫😫❤️❤️❤️❤️😳😛😛

SUNGHOON

“you should be more careful” you scold the boy sitting with you standing between his legs

sunghoon had apparently gotten elbowed in the face by his friend and scratched by his friends cat on accident????

“it wasn’t my fault! he turned around and i just happened to be in the way. and i didnt even do anything to the cat!” he whined

“i didnt say it was your fault. i said to be more careful.” you tried to sound stern

u knew ur logic was making no sense but u just thought it was so fun to mess with him

he let out a sigh and gave up, slouching over again

you were stood between his legs, wiping the blood away and applying ointment

“im just kidding, you’re so cute” one of your free hands comes up to rub his hair

a small grin pops up on his face and his arms come to rest on your waist

he looks up at you while you focus on tending to his wounds

and u guessed it WITH LITERAL HEARTS IN HIS EYES

❤️_❤️

“you know y/n” he begins

you hum in response, letting him know you’re listening

“im gonna marry you one day”

you freeze in your place

it took you a minute to collect yourself because you felt like your heart almost leaped out of your chest

“who says?” you joke

he leans up to give you a quick kiss on the lips before sitting back down

“me.”

SUNOO

you noticed sunoo had been really tired lately and u just wanted to make him feel better :((

the boys were going out and invited you two obviously but you could tell sunoo was iffy about going

“uhh..” you trail off and look over at sunoo who was laying on the couch

“you know what guys? i think me and sunoo are gonna stay home today.. you guys have fun though!” you bid goodbye to the other boys and they all understood and left

you dont even know if sunoo knew they had left already because when you walked over to him his tired eyes were glued on the tv

“hey” you leaned against the couch and looked down at him

“y/n? are we going soon?” his eyes move to the top of his head to look up at you

you start laughing and he literally goes 🤨???

“silly, they already left! so what do you wanna do?” you plop down next to him and he was in the process of sitting up

“what? when did they leave...” his mouth drops open

“like 2 minutes ago” you giggle, leaning back to rest your head

sunoo had sat still, pondering for a moment

“why did they leave us?” he turned to look at you

your eyes met his “well i figured you didnt wanna go... you didnt, right?”

he slowly shakes his head “how did you know?”

you give him a sneaky smile and jokingly push his arm “because i know you so well”

he laughs at this and leans his head on your shoulder

“wow y/n.. im impressed” he grins, snuggling into your arm

your other arm crosses over to pat him on the head, leaning your head to rest on top of his

“but thank you y/n..” his eyes slowly close to rest “im thankful for all the little things you notice about me”

u literally go 🥺

your hand goes down to squeeze his and he falls asleep peacefully on ur shoulder ☹️☹️☹️❤️

JUNGWON

“y/n..what is that” jungwons eyes can barely open as he tries to comprehend whats going on while hes waking up

you haphazardly tap around the bedside table trying to turn off the new alarm you set last night

and that new alarm was jungwon singing 🤗

“its you, dummy” your eyes were still closed but you turned to face jungwon and snuggled closer to him

“wha- where did you even get that???” he was almost fully awake now, staring down at your half asleep figure

you yawned before answering in your i-just-woke-up-and-i-should-probably-drink-some-water voice “remember when you sang me to sleep last week? yeah i was secretly recording you. no biggie” you pat his chest twice and leave your hand there, content with life at the moment Lol

“y/nnnn” he whines “change ittt i dont like it”

“you’re kidding.” you deadpan, shocked he would say such a thing!!! “jungwon you sound like an angel threw up on a field of flowers full of puppies and kittens! okay thats kinda weird maybe not that”

jungwon giggles a little and sits up so he can sit against the headboard while your head rests on his lap

“you like my singing that much?” you can hear the smile in his voice as he asks you

you finally pop one eye open to look up at him, a goofy grin in your face

“i love your singing”

his hands run through your hair and you let out a sigh at the feeling

jungwon doesnt say anything

all he does is admire you

you can feel his eyes on you so you open your eyes again (both this time🙏🏼) and meet his eyes

“i can feel you staring straight into the depths of my soul, jungwon”

he laughs at this, bring his other hand up to pinch your cheek

“i’ll sing for you whenever you want me to y/n”

NI-KI

“shut up sunghoon, hes sleeping” you whisper-scolded the boy

ni-ki was currently asleep on you

literally SPRAWLED all over your body and you were basically mummified

by nishimura riki

his legs were tangled in yours, his head shoved into your neck, and his arms were bent around you in ways you didnt know were humanly possible

“you literally have an alien taking a nap on you y/n” sunghoon deadpans before walking out the room

“when you’re asleep sunghoon i will send you into a spacecraft for the rest of your life so you can go see aliens for yourself”

“wowww im so scared y/n” the boy remarks and shuts the door

you half laugh and half scoff before turning your attention back to the ipad screen sitting on the bed infront of you

well

kind of infront of you because ni-ki’s acrobatic position was basically blocking the view

you were having a decent time watching the show playing, definitely not the most comfortable person on the planet at the moment

until you felt the body on top of you.. rumble?

you knew that feeling

ni-ki was laughing

HOW and WHY the hell was he laughing ?!!?!!?!

“what the hell?” you look down at him and his face is shoved near your shoulder but you caught a glimpse of his big smile

his laughter gets louder and you still dont have answers yet

“why are you laughing???? i thought you were sleeping?????” you try to push him off you but he was persistent in laughing in your shoulder (??)

after a couple minutes of you just letting this happen

ni-ki finally speaks!

“you’re so funny y/n” he finally pulls away from you and wipes his tears

“what are you even talking about... and how long were you awake, you sneaky kid” you poke his chest

he leans down again to hug your waist and start cuddling you again

“10 minutes”

“so you’re telling me i could’ve freed myself from that god awful demon EMBRACE you had me in 10 minutes ago???!!”

ni-ki starts laughing again and looks up at you

“thank you for threatening to send sunghoon to aliens for me y/n” he grins

you laugh, finally understanding what the boy had been going on about

“sunghoon deserved it”

#enhypenwriters #enhypen imagines #enhypen #enhypen scenarios #enhypen reactions #enhypen x reader #enhypen drabbles #enhypen fluff #enhypen fic #enhypen headcanons #jungwon imagines #heeseung imagines #sunghoon imagines #ni ki imagines #sunoo imagines #enhypen timestamps #enhypen imagine

3K notes · View notes

randynova · 3 years

Note

Poor Petal, she must have had a panic attack when she found out she was pregnant for the first time.

She was downright terrified.

She broke down crying, screaming into her pillow, refusing to let Doma hold or console her. Surprisingly, he left her alone, letting her deal with her emotions on her own.

The only words he left her was, "Oh, [Name], I'm so happy. Soon, we're going to be parents, my sweet pretty petal!"

[Name] just couldn't understand how this happened. She was careful, so diligent in taking the tea every night. She began racking her mind, trying to make sense of it all, and search for a possibility why this small mistake occurred.

Until she recalled two months prior, where Doma's insatiable hunger for his wife consumed him. Like an animal in heat, he forced himself on her, ignoring her pleas to stop, releasing his fertile seed deep into her womb. Over and over again, he made sure every night she was filled with his cum, having the sole mission to make her bear his children.

✦✦✦ ✦✦✦

Doma had to travel southward for demon duties and he felt this was the perfect opportunity for you both to get closer. A whole week together, all alone while he was free from his duties, a chance to finally have some quality bonding time without his cult. It was a dream come true.

However, this place was in the middle of nowhere, hardly any villages, let alone stores, around. All the sources you used to protect yourself from Doma were gone, the foods and teas you consumed to prevent a pregnancy out of reach.

The only people around were fellow upper moons, who stayed far away from your husband, especially you.

Thus, you were forced to endure his doting behavior, forced to play his dangerous games, and forced to let him breed you.

✦✦✦ ✦✦✦

"Pretty petal. So pretty, so beautiful. You're taking me so well, hah," Doma laughs, snapping his hips harshly, thick balls slapping against your skin. You bounced with every thrust, mewling and whimpering, begging him to slow down. It only stirred him on to go faster. "No, no, no, this is the best way to ensure maximum success with fertilizing you. I have to make sure my seed is as deep as possible inside you, my petal!"

The aching between your legs grew, arching your back as an orgasm washes over you once again. Your juices release over his thick cock, eyes rolling to the back of your head as your velvet walls constrict around him. "Ah! Ah, D-Doma!"

"Mm, hngh! P-petal! Petal! Petal! " Doma whines out, biting his bottom lip, grinning like a madman as the sweet relief of climax fast approaches him. His thrusts turn sloppy and his hips stutter. Quickly, he pulls out and leaves you feeling empty for a few seconds. He grabs your legs, hooking his arms around your knees, and pushes your thighs to your chest, claws digging into your plush skin as he starts to hammer into you. "So-so good! Such a good girl! You'll be such a good mother, sweet petal! Just you wait! I'll make you a mommy, ok? Just- fuck!"

He releases long, thick ropes of cum, painting your womb white with his fertile seed once more. He thrusts weakly, head falling back as he gasps. "Mm, ah-ah, [N-Name]...!" You squeeze your eyes shut, looking to the side, swallowing bitterly as he fills you to the brim, cum leaking out as he slides in and out. It drips onto the bed, staining the pristine, red cotton sheets.

"Oh, petal, please don't look away. I want to see you," Doma croons, pulling out with a shaky breath and looking down at the mess between your legs with a grin. White painted the sheets below like a puddle. He pulls out with a groan. Seeing the way your pussy gushes out his cum, flexing around nothing, it makes him want to take you all over again. He slides two fingers up across your folds, gathering his seed, and pushing it back into your sopping hole with his fingertips. He hums whilsts you whine, rocking your hips at the weird sensation. "Such a pretty sight, you took me so well, petal. I'm so proud of you!"

He's met with silence. Though, it doesn't bother him as he already fulfilled his task for the night. After five long rounds, he believes its enough for the day and he'll repeat the process tomorrow. For now, both of you need rest, we'll, mainly you if you're going to stay awake during the whole ordeal.

You were in a daze as Doma cleaned both you and himself up, changing the sheets into soft clean ones, and covering your body with the blankets, tucking it in.

"Good night, my pretty wife," Doma whispers, taking his spot beside you, his arms slithering around your frame and pulling you close. His chest pressed against your nude back, his legs tangling in yours, and he buried his face in your hair, taking a deep breath of your sweet aroma. "I love you..."

✦✦✦ ✦✦✦

Immediately after coming back from your journey, Doma became busy, his schedule packed to the brim with orders from his master. It irritated him, saddened him even, that he would be apart from you for a while.

As much as he loved ravishing your body every night, he had to focus on completing every task with precise accuracy. He doesn't want to disappoint his master after all.

But before he left you alone the first night back, he replaced your assigned follower with a different one. One that reported back to him and carried out his orders, their loyalty to the demon overriding their morals to protect you.

He wasn't stupid. It didn't take long for him to figure out the tea you drank prevented you from becoming pregnant, a huge change to the tea he got to make you fertile. The news did upset him, but he hid the discovery and played along with your little antics. It made him try to come up with a solution, where he disguised the tea you drank to better fit his wishes.

Like an unsuspecting mouse, you walked right into the cat's claws.

Anyone who tried helping you was either eaten by Doma or killed by him in another manner. If the actions of a stupid, disloyal follower was keeping him away from his dream of having a family, the demon won't hesitate to get rid of them. They should know better.

Doma's dreams are his followers' orders.

If he says he dreamt of eating a hundred virgins, his followers should offer him the bountiful feast of meat from a hundred virgins.

If he says he dreamt of growing his cult, his followers should go out and recruit people to join them.

Now, if he says he dreams of a child with his wife, his followers should offer their help and make sure he gets his child.

By god, did they live up to his expectations for once. Everyone - from the ones who prepared your meals to the new members who brought you gifts - made sure every small action built up to the final wish of their leader's plan.

Every food and drink you consumed had been carefully chosen to help make you plump and help the baby grow. Every bath had been filled with excotic herbs to soothe your changing body. Every offering had slowly been gearing towards a human smaller than you. Yet, you never really paid attention to the small differences.

Doma noticed how tired you seem lately, how you complained to the follower assigned to you about the tenderness of your breast and the pain of your abdominal and pelvis area, and even how different you looked, almost glowing.

At first, he didn't put the pieces together. Surely all women were like this, right? Yet, that wasn't the case.

He found himself always wondering why your emotions were easily more unhinged, why you ate the foods he hand-fed you more easily, or why you were napping in the afternoon. Yes, he liked these changes and welcomed them eagerly, believing you were finally warming up to him. But why?

After nearly six weeks, you were worried why your period didn't come. You speculated the stress could have been a prominent factor in causing your late cycle, sometimes occurring in your youth. You seem bloated lately as well, you note, or it could've been weight gain due to the food you have been eating lately. Thus you brushed it off.

It'll come soon, you just know it. Afterall, you're still a human and change is a part of life.

In another area of the temple, a different situation was unfolding. When the trusted follower reported to Doma about your very late menstrual cycle, he clapped with joy like a child being entertained. Of course! How slow can he be?! You finally are carrying his child! The hormonal changes affected how you behaved with him and the sudden weight gain explained it all.

Oh, he just couldn't wait for the day to come!

However...

He had to make sure you did nothing irresponsible to push back his dream.

Doma became more strict and possessive with you. He didn't let you go anywhere alone. Even if you were in the privacy of your room, someone had to be there.

The days where you spent waiting for him in your bedroom were now spent at his side. He forced you to sit on his lap like before, feeding you more than you're used to. Any question concerning his increase of doting behavior was met with a laugh and a kiss to your cheek. "I just love you so much, I want you to be healthy!"

Doma isn't stupid. He knew the moment he mentioned, or even insinuated, you were pregnant, you would break down and possibly affect the baby negatively. He didn't know if you were capable of taking drastic measures of getting rid of it this far along, but he didn't want to find out.

With careful, watchful eyes, Doma made sure everyday you were fed well, that you were always protected, and made sure nothing upset you. He went the extra mile to find medicine and herbs incase you ever fell ill. The demon made sure your attention was always occupied to keep from noticing your changing body.

To say it worked was an understatement.

By the fifth month, you realized despite your growing stomach, you weren't gaining weight anywhere else. Most of your clothes fit like a glove except around your abdomen.

Your heart began to race as you wracked your mind of the events for the past few months.

When was the last time you had gotten your period?

You don't recall changing your sheets every month because you stained it, nor do you recall dealing with the hassle of keeping yourself clean. Come to think of it, you felt at ease these past few months, the usual cramps and cravings you felt no longer bothering you like before.

Ridding yourself of your clothes, slipping your kimono off until you're left in your undergarments of hadajyuban and susuyoke. You undid your sash and revealed your stomach. You're met with the sight of your bulging tummy and tender breasts. Pressing a finger pad to the skin of your stomach, it seemed firm instead of soft and plush. With a shaky breath, you pressed your palms against your stomach and...

Kick. Kick.

You removed your hands immediately, face falling. No...

No. No! No! No!

How didn't you notice it before!?

Your chest fell and rose quickly with every breath you took, hyperventilating as the situation dawned on you. You were pregnant. Actually pregnant with that damn demon's child. A bellowing scream ripped from your throat, the high-pitch intensity resonating like shattering glass throughout the temple.

Doma raced to your bedroom, fearing the worse as he heard his wife scream. He ran into the bedroom, only to be met with your form bawling on the floor, hunched over as sobs wracked your body. Followers tried to console you, yet you ignored them.

Doma approached you carefully and crouched down, but the moment he put a hand on your back, you whipped your head and cracked your hand across his face like a whip. He fell back, catching himself, shock etched into his features. You... You hit him? He paid no mind to the followers who raced to his side, asking him if he was okay. He was more surprised you dared slap him.

The stinging of his cheek didn't hurt , but it caught him off guard. He looked up and leered at you with wide eyes. Yet he clashed with the burning, sorrowful gaze you held.

"Fuck you! Goddamnit, leave me alone, you monster! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!!" You screech, standing up and burying your face in your hands. Tears slipped through your fingers and dripped to the floor.

Doma smiled, finally understanding why you were reacting the way you were. He began chuckling, then giggling, and then he broke into a fit of laughter. He stood up and held a hand to his face, looking at you with a crazed, delighted expression on his face. Gleefully, he spoke, "Oh, petal! You finally caught on!"

You shake your head and begin crying louder, turning your back to the demon. "No, no, no...," you whimper.

"We're going to be parents...," Doma croons, taking small, quiet steps towards you. Like before, he tries pulling you close but you brush him off.

"Please... Please, just leave me alone...!"

"Oh, [Name], you'll see. Once our baby is here, you'll love being a mommy. Just like I'll love being a papa...!"

"No... I didn't want this...."

"But I did! I told you for so long...," Doma whispers, uncomfortably close to you. He lets out a breathy laugh. "And now that you're finally with child, I'm going to make sure I see my baby no matter what."

You could only stand in horror, listening to his voice. The panic crawled up your throat, fear taking hold of you as you froze up. With bated breath, you wait for him to leave. But his next words made your heart drop and blood run cold.

"I'm willing to do anything for our child, [Name]. Even if it means I may have to hurt you to guarantee their safe arrival."

✦✦✦ ✦✦✦

Doma is not submissive and breedable. He is dominant and fertile.

He finally has his wish of having a family with the woman he loves.

And he'll do anything to make it come true.

Even if it means he has to become the monster and hurt you to get it.

✦✦✦ ✦✦✦

407 notes · View notes

waitimcomingtoo · 4 years

Text

Honey, I’m Home

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Synopsis: You’re not a normally an affectionate person but when Tom comes home from filming, you can’t keep your hands off him. He happily accepts your cuddles and fluff ensues

thank you to the anon who requested this! I deleted it on accident

Masterlist

“Honey, I’m home.”

“Honey, you’re home.” You ran into the room when you heard Tom’s announcement and threw your arms around Him. He stumbled back in surprise as he dropped his suitcase, not used to you showing affection. He wrapping his arms around your waist as you coiled your legs around his torso to keep yourself up, all while pressing kisses along his cheek. You pulled away briefly before grinning and pulling him into a long, well awaited kiss. It lingered much longer than usual before you pulled away, staying in his arms as your feet touched the ground again.

“Hi, darling.” He spoke softly as he rubbed your back. “I missed you.”

“I missed you more.” You said as you took in his scent. “Never leave again.”

“I missed you most.” He smiled fondly, cupping your face in his hands and rubbing your cheeks with his thumbs.

“I seriously doubt it.” You chuckled out of the corner of your mouth. Tom noticed you were still holding on to him and flushed a little. You’d hadn’t been dating very long, just a few months, but he was already well aware that you were not a very affectionate person. You were never cold to him, you just weren’t as into cuddling and touching as he was.

“What have you done today?” He asked you, keeping his arms firmly around your body.

“I’ve waited for you to come home.” You laughed. “And that’s about it.”

“Aw.” He grinned. “I’ve been counting down the minutes until I got to see you again.”

“Me too.” You leaned up on your tip toes to rub your nose against his. “Take me with you next time, okay?”

“I was thinking the same thing.” He smiled and pulled you in to a kiss. “I’ll be right back.”

“Where are you going?” You pouted as Tom began to walk away, feeling the urge to follow after him.

“The bathroom.” He told you, and you relaxed. “I’ve been in the car for four hours.”

“Oh.” You laughed lightly. “Right.”

“I’ll be right back.” He kissed your forehead before going to the bathroom. You sighed once he left and wheeled his suitcase into the bedroom, finding him washing his hands at the kitchen sink when you returned.

“There you are.” You came behind him and kissed his shoulder. “Are you hungry?”

“Starving.” He touched a hand to his stomach. “Do we have any food in the refrigerator?”

“I don’t know.” You shrugged coyly. “Take a look.”

Tom gave you a knowing look before opening the refrigerator.

“Oh My God.” He looked at you over his shoulder. “You angel. You got the ingredients for a roast chicken.”

“Not just any roast chicken.” You came up behind him and wrapped your arms around his waist. “It’s that weird one you like with the apples on it. I was gonna make it for when you got home but I figured we could do it together.”

“You’re a genius.” He turned around and kisses both your cheeks. That’s why I love you.”

“I aim to please.” You giggled as you wrapped your arms around his neck to kiss him. You let it linger longer than usual, but he wasn’t complaining.

“This is going to be so good.” Tom grinned once he pulled away. “I’ll start peeling the apples. Could you get started on the seasoning?”

“You got it.” You kissed him again before getting the chicken out of the refrigerator.

Tom went to the kitchen counter and began to wash and peel a few apples. After a few minutes, he felt your arms around his waist as your head rested on his shoulder.

“Hi.” You greeted as you kissed his shoulder a few times. Tom smiled to himself as he looked at you.

“Hey.” He said softly. “How’s the seasoning going?”

“All done. The chicken is marinating in it now.” You told him before peppering kisses along his shoulders and up his neck.

“Feels good, baby.” He mumbled as he stopped peeling the apples. He wiped his hands off on a paper towel and rested them on on top of yours.

“Well you’re doing such a wonderful job peeling those apples.” You giggled before kissing behind his ear.

“They’re almost done.” He told you. “What’s next?”

“We have to make the rice.” You said as you walked over to the cabinet.

“But we don’t eat rice.” He smiled, knowing what was coming.

“We eat quinoa.” You finished his thought as you handed him the quinoa. Tom chuckled as he took the quinoa and poured it into a pot.

“Hey.” You said suddenly, walking over to him and wrapped your arms around his neck. “I missed you. I missed seeing your face everyday.”

“I missed you too, love. It’s not a good day for me unless my eyes meet yours.” He rested his forehead against yours as you scratched his scalp with your nails.

“Who knew you were such a poet?”

“Being away from you really put me in touch with my inner tortured artist. In other words, I cried every night.” He joked, making you laugh.

“Never leave me again.” You sighed as you rested your head in the crook of his neck. You swayed together in the kitchen for a moment, just staying in each other’s embrace.

“Not planning on it. I think you’re stuck with me forever, actually.” Tom told you as he kissed the top of your head.

“Sounds good to me.” You pressed a kiss to his neck just as your timer went off.

“Chickens ready to go in the oven.” You sighed and reluctantly pulled out of his embrace.

“I’ll put it in.” He offered. “How long?”

“30 minutes.” You answered.

“Okay.” Tom slid the chicken in the oven and shut the door. “I’m gonna unpack a little.”

“By unpack do you mean throw all your clothes in the hamper?” You raised on eyebrow at him as you squeezed his hand.

“Yes I do.” He pulled you by the hand into his body and gave you another kiss before retreating to the bedroom. You watched him leave before going to set the table, smiling widely when he came back into the kitchen.

“Hi honey.” You greeted as you set two plates on the table. “Did you unpack?”

“Yes. I’ll help you with the laundry tomorrow.” Tom promised, going to the oven to get the chicken out.

“Thank you.” You said as you set the drinks out. “I just want to sleep in and have a lazy day.”

“Trust me. Once I get in that bed with you I’m not leaving for a week.” Tom clicked his tongue as he pulled your chair out for you.

“Dirty boy.” You gasped as you sat down. Once you were both seated, you rubbed your foot against his leg just to keep contact.

“I meant for cuddles.” He whined, face flushing. “You’re very cuddly today.”

“Why thank you.” You gave him a poised smile while serving him some chicken.

“I’m not used to it.” He continued, trying to get an answer as to why you were especially clingy. “I know I’m a lover of snuggles and whatnot but you usually react like a cat being touched.”

“Aw. Just what every girl likes to hear.” You replied sarcastically as you held his hand on the table.

“I’m sorry.” He squeezed your hand apologetically. “It’s a nice change.”

“Well I missed you.” You shrugged. “I didn’t get to touch you for two weeks. I’ve been building it up, you know?”

“I know the feeling. And the chicken was amazing.” Tom said as he wiped his face with his napkin. “Thank you so much for getting the stuff.”

“Of course. You work so hard. I wanted you to have a nice meal.” Your told him as you collected your plates. You kissed the top of his head before putting the dishes in the sink.

“I appreciate it.” He said as he turned around in his seat. “And I appreciate you putting my favorite sheets on the bed. Don’t think I didn’t notice.”

You walked over to him and draped your arms around his shoulder as you bent over.

“I’ll put the comforter in the dryer before we go to bed so it’s nice and toasty.” You whispered into his ear before kissing his cheek several times.

“How did I get so lucky?” He craned his neck to look at you fondly.

“I ask myself that everyday.” You kissed his neck and patted his shoulder before continuing to clean off the table.

“I’m gonna shower real quick.” Tom told you as he put the cups in the sink. “I feel gross form traveling all day.”

“Okay.” You frowned a little upon hearing he was going to be leaving again. Before he walked away, you tugged on his shirt and kissed him. He chuckled against your lips when he pulled away and let out a sigh.

“You really missed me, huh?” He teased.

“You have no idea.” You sighed. “Don’t take too long.”

“I won’t.” He promised as he left for the bathroom. He showered quickly, also feeling the tug at his heartstrings from being away from you. He dried off and got dressed as fast as he could before taking a seat in the living room.

“Hey.” Tom smiled up at you when you padded into the room. You climbed into his lap and curled up against his body, wrapping your arms around his shoulders to stay in place.

“Hey.” You snuggled into his chest and took in a whiff. “You smell good.”

“Thank you.” He chuckled and rubbed your back in circles.

“Did you clean behind your ears?” You teased as you looked up at him.

“I did.”

“Good.” You looked down again and held him tighter. “They’re kinda hard to miss.”

“Hey.” He pretended to be offended, smiling when he felt your body shake with laughter.

“Sorry.” You mumbled as you toyed with the strings of his sweat pants. “Just teasing.”

“Are you okay?” Tom asked finally. As much as he appreciated all your affection, it was very out of character for you.

“Yeah.” You assured him. “Just missed you, is all.”

“You’re never this affectionate.” He pointed out. “Is something bothering you?”

“No.” You said and took your head off his shoulder. “Sorry. I’ll stop.”

“No!” Tom practically shouted and pulled you right back. “I like it. I love it, actually.”

He bent down to press kisses all over your face, a giggle emitted from your lips each time he did. Once your laughter died down, you looked up at him and stroked his cheek.

“Does it bother you that I’m not an affectionate person?” You whispered as you traces his freckles with your fingernail.

“I mean, I’d love to be doing this all day every day, but I want you to be comfortable. That’s more important to me than anything else.” He told you. “My love language is touch but yours isn’t, and I’m okay with that.”

You smiled fondly at him and sat up a little so your faces were close.

“Tommy?” You asked softly.

“Yes?” He matched your tone.

“This was the first time you were away, and it made me realize something.”

“What’s that?” He tilted his head as the setting sun lit up his eyes.

“I love you.” You smiled shyly as you told him. “And I don’t like being apart from you.”

“Aw, darling.” He put his hand on your cheek and rubbed his thumb softly against your face. “I love you too.”

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kuroos-babie · 3 years

Text

falling in love with a single mom hcs

INCLUDES: nishinoya, tsukishima, yaku

you spent a good part of your childhood with nishinoya, chasing away the dogs that had a penchant of scaring your best friend shitless, climbing trees and playing treasure hunt

it was funny, to say the least, seeing how he grew from such a scaredy-cat to the energetic and confident noya everyone knows

throughout highschool you watched him chase girl after girl and he watched you turn down guy after guy

the dynamic you two had was that of a feral gremlin child and its chill owner holding the leash and everyone, including you two, thought you would always be together

everyday was fun with nishinoya's energy hanging around you, no doubt

but when he asked you to travel the world with him right after graduation, he was met with a hesitant refusal

"i'm planning to go to college, yuu"

"it'll be fun, y/n! like going on an adventure!!"

"visit me once in a while"

his heart clenched at the way you smiled at him with teary eyes, "i can't change your mind can i?"

with a soft shake of your head, he sighed

he leaves in three days

the first few months of him being away were filled with calls and pictures of his trips, smile seemingly wider and brighter than before and a part of you regretted not coming with him

but college starts in a week, and with that came missed calls and ignored messages

at some point, neither of you just remembered to hit the other up, caught up with the stresses of your own life and before either of you knew it, 5 years have passed

he came to visit home for the first time in years, no longer the boyish noya you knew but he still had that warm aura around him

you were the first thought to come to mind the moment he step foot in town, his whole body buzzing with excitement at the mere thought of seeing you again

so of course he went straight to your house, feet taking step after memorized step and hands clutching bags of things he got from his travels

"Y/N!!!!!", he calls out as he enters your house which was answered with a harsh shushing

turning a corner he saw you in the living room, lovely as ever-- he thought, and with a baby sleeping soundly in your arms, "the baby's sleeping, yuu"

"whose...?"

you laughed at the cracking in his voice, "mine, who else's?"

man, he looked like he was about to cry

he quietly approached you, careful as to not wake the baby

"for you", he mumbled while handing you the bag of snacks and stuff

the room was filled with silence after you hummed a short thanks

he was looking at the child's face, it looked like you, he thinks

he asked when you got married, "you didn't tell me, didn't even invite your best friend to your wedding", he whined

"i didn't, i'm not married"

his eyes were wide as they looked at you

you told him about getting pregnant shortly after college graduation and getting ditched

he thought of himself selfish as he heaved a sigh of relief

"it's fine though, my parents are helping me a lot", he notes how you looked at your baby with such fond eyes and his heart swelled, he felt like crying

you chuckled at the look on his face, "hey don't look so sorry for me, can't be happier to have her"

"what's her name?"

you looked at your daughter's face and pet at her cheek with a finger, "yui"

nishinoya couldn't hold it in anymore and so he let himself cry and pulled you close

and for the nth time since the day of your college graduation he asked you again, "come with me, y/n, let's travel the world" but you have a child "i'll stay with you here until she's old enough", he said while kissing the tears that slipped down your cheeks

"then we can all go travel the world together"

he liked working at the museum, he really does

at least that's what he tries to tell himself as he led the group of preschoolers through the sendai museum

they were cute, yeah, but also very chatty

especially this one little boy with the frog hat

"what's this called?"

"it's a fossilized remain of--"

"how about this one?"

"it's--", and before he could answer, the child was already running to the other side of the exhibit

he just sighs

the tour ended and he was getting ready for his lunch break, proceeding to the cafe by the entrance as he always does

his eyes almost caught the flurry of green that passed beside him but he chose to ignore it

but of course it wasn't long after he sat down with his order when he heard a familiar bubbly voice

"mama that's the dinosaur guy!", he heard the little boy whisper loudly, "he's so tall, like a brachiosaurus!"

he couldn't supress the chuckle at the child's remark and he turned in his seat, "so you were listening, i thought you were just bouncing all around the place"

"oh sorry, did he give you a hard time?"

your voice drew his attention and he smiled at the sight of your worried face, something that surprised even him, "not really, no"

he invited you two to sit and eat with him and he listened to your son ramble all about dinosaurs and prehistoric animals

"a smart one, i like him"

your son really liked him too and asked you to take him to the museum again and see tsukishima

and so it became a habit for you to visit the museum every friday with the little boy, waiting for the tall blonde to get off work so you three could grab something to eat

and every time he sees you in the little cafe by the entrancne with your son, tsukishima couldn't help but smile a little and pat at his chest to calm the subtle fluttering as he push the door open

it was a weird feeling he never knew would come so naturally at the mere sight of you two

he bought your son picture books and and figurines and copies of the "walking with dinosaurs" documentary

"we should watch it this weekend..." his eyebrows shot up for a moment at your meek suggestion

of course the little boy was elated, excited to have him over at your house "yes! let's go now! i wanna watch it with tsukki now!!!"

tsukishima returned his gaze on you, "if it's not too much trouble then i'd love to go now"

and so the rest of the friday night was spent on your couch with all the lights turned off and a narration of al the allosaurus' life

you looked over at the other side of the couch to see your son laying on tsukishima, eyes fluttering shut with the man passed out and lightly snoring

he must've been tired

you draped a blanket over the two of them and waited for sleep to visit you too and it soon did

morning came and you woke up to the smell of coffee

"i borrowed your coffee maker, i hope you don't mind", his voice was still low, trying not to wake the little boy

"yeah, sorry i didn't wake you up last night... you looked tired"

he chuckled as you walked over to the kitchen to take out two mugs and prepared some toast, "i don't mind, it was the best sleep i've gotten in a while. i hope it wasn't too much of a bother for you though"

you leaned on the kitchen counter as you took in his appearance; hair ruffled and eyes puffy with sleep, "i don't mind it one bit"

he huffed a laugh and looked over to the sofa where your son still laid

"he likes you a lot"

"so it seems, i hope you do too", his face was smug but you didn't miss the red that tinted his cheeks when you told him "of course i do, in fact i was thinking maybe we should do this more often"

his smirk grew, "just say you want to wake up everyday to the sight of me and leave it at that"

you rolled your eyes at his comment but smiled nonetheless, "oh shut up"

he had just come back from the nekoma volleyball team reunion, head lightly buzzing from the few bottles of alcohol kuroo forced down his throat

making his way through the carpeted hotel hall, he could barely make out the sound of little feet hurriedly padding on the floor and quiet sniffles

taking out the keycard to his room with the blissful thoughts of finally sinking into the soft mattress was interrupted by a soft bump on his thigh, a muffled thud and a small "ow..."

it took a few moments before the sight of the little boy on the hotel floor registered properly in his brain

it was well past 2 am... why the hell is there a child running around the halls

"uh... hi?"

big bright eyes looked up at him and he can't help but sigh at the sniffles increasingly growing louder

"where's your mama, little guy?", yaku crouched to the little boy's level, careful to keep his balance as the booze and exhaustion was catching up to him

however, at the mention of his mother, the little boy's eye filled up with more tears and was ready to burst anytime, "mama..."

"oh no no no no"

yaku's too tired for this

so with a sigh and a groan, he took the boy in his arms and entered his room

"let's look for her in the morning, okay? i think i still have some cookies in my room, would like some?"

the little boy nods his head, earning a relieved sigh from yaku

the rest of the night was spent with cartoons playing on the large hotel room tv, yaku leaning against the headboard with the little boy snoozing away while being tucked in his arm, cookie on his hand and crumbs all around

morning came and panic surged through your body the moment you realized your 3 year-old son was nowhere inside your hotel room

your hurried to the security desk to report and hopefully make an announcement, head reeling and aching with the sudden rush of adrenaline first thing in the morning

with your head in your hands, you let out a groan while trying not to cry at all the possibilites flashing through your mind

your wallowing was cut short with an "excuse me, i found this child last night"

turning your head back to the security desk, you see a man in his pajamas and slippers, hair ruffled from sleep and a sleepy little boy laying on his shoulder

"oh my god"

the whole conlict ended when you came up to them and introduced yourself, the little boy quickly recognizing your voice and whipped his head over to you, "mama!"

your son reached out for you and yaku couldn't help but notice how pretty your glossy eyes were despite how disheveled you looked

"mama, yakkun gave me cookies and we watched cartoons aaaaall night!"

yaku's eyes widened at the little boy's words and let out a nervous chuckle, "you make me sound so suspicious"

he turned to you and explained how your son bumped into him at 2 am and he was just too tired to bring him down to the security desk

"my tired tipsy brain thought it was a better idea to just let him sleep in my room and look for mama in the morning", he ended with the tips of his ears tinged red

you laughed at his nervousness, "well we can talk more about it over breakfast, what do you say yakkun? my treat"

with the way you were smiling at him, how could he even refuse?

the rest of the morning was spent with coffee and waffles, juice and fruits and chatter

he learned you and your son were in town for a few days, "i wanted to go see the fishies in the aquarium!", the little boy quips

with the new volleyball season just around the corner, yaku knew he'd have practices but he offered to tour you two around tokyo

he wanted to see you two again

briefly taking care of the toddler last night and having breakfast with you, he realized, were very much a welcomed change of pace in his hectic pro volleyball life

"are you my dad? mama told me daddy was working in tokyo" he remembered your son quietly mumbling last night, "i haven't seen him though, not ever"

the rest of your stay in tokyo was spent hanging out with yaku, your son growing more and more attached to him and slept over at his room every night

as promised, he took you and your son on a tokyo tour and even brought you to practice, introducing you to the national team and teaching your child receives

of course your trip eventually reached its end, promises of meeting again drowned in the little boy's tears as he tried to reach out to yaku

"we'll meet again, little guy", he says while ruffling the boy's hair, "i'll even go visit you and we'll play lots, okay?

of course he made a point of contacting you frequently, often video chatting during meal times and bedtime and a few more hours after, relishing in the time he could spend talking alone with you

"i can't wait to see you two again", he always says right after "good night"

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