#i noticed the tank detail earlier while people were losing their minds about it on another post and i didn't know how to correct them

[nenoname]

Going through the backstory ep again and I noticed that Ford's "thinking parlour" (aka what's commonly known as Ford's room/the Carpet Diem room/Mullet Stan's depression room) was always portrayed in an optimistic light during his researcher days

(while initial journal shot seems more dubious if it's really that same room, there's a triangle prism that was stated to be a hint in Carpet Diem+Gideon Rises to the Author connection way back in Season 1. In the other two scenes you can see the couch and lamp. Also Ford's backpack which I find to be a cute detail)

But meanwhile, the future living room seemed like it was always kinda dreary even before Ford was tricked into building the portal

(Also in case people are gonna point at the tank and yell "FRILLIAM", this is before McGucket arrives to town, and an axolotl is shown in the cool panning shot earlier too. Maybe it got retconned, maybe not)

I find it interesting that the rooms basically swapped meanings after Stan made the house his own, with the living room becoming a cozy place for the Mystery Shack family, while Ford's room is sealed up for decades in stasis and then becomes messy after Ford returns (and even then Ford's room had its Soos' mancave era)

[rougebangtan]

pairing: jungkook | reader

genre: strangers to lovers, fluff

word count: 1.840

prompt: old rock + can fulfill the ghostie bingo prompt

warnings: there’s a little making out in the end, so if you don’t like that, please be warned.

You roll your eyes in annoyance at the man in front of you. It is the third consecutive week that he has come to the store without making any purchases. The young man always wore all-black outfits, and would come by in the afternoons, granting you the honor of his visits. He would browse the store, flicking obnoxiously through the CD’s and records for hours on end.

One thing you had to give credits where the credit was due, however, was his impeccable sense of style. He dressed himself in a very unique and pristine manner; even as he tried to look badass, he most certainly looked soft and innocent. The amount of detail he put on his looks was nothing short of admirable. You caught yourself more than once enthralled by the way his earrings would dangle on his lobes.

The shop you work in is in a rundown spot of the city’s downtown which, in turn, had caused you to see all kind of people. Not many where as pretty as the handsome boy that was showing up so often, but you weren’t going to allow yourself to be biased; his pretty privilege had already cut him a lot of slack. You’ve grown impatient with waiting. It’s already been close to a month and the guy hasn’t bought anything.

Sucking in a breath, you think about your options. You have two: you either ignore him or finally set him straight. The choice is clear to you since your mama didn’t raise you to be a quitter. You feel yourself marching towards him before your mind processes the closeness between the two of you. You have your resting bitch face on and that’s what you attribute his stunned expression to as he gets even more wide-eyed.

With a silent sigh, you observe how he shifts in his spot, his legs alternating which one sustains his weight. Oh, boy, now he’s anxious? If anything, it’s you who should be.

“Hi,” you utter with a blank expression plastered on your face, adopting the most authentic salesperson persona you can. “We usually rather to let your customers pick what they want themselves, but you seem kinda lost. I’ve noticed you come to the shop often… I was wondering if you need help?”

He shifts under your gaze, looking absolutely caught off-guard. “Hmm, yeah,” he agrees while his hand goes to scratch his nape in a deflective move. “I could use some help… sorry about always leaving empty-handed. I’m just a very indecisive person.”

You chuckle lightly at that. The boy is super cute. “What are you looking for, pretty boy?”

“A gift.” He answers, and something evil stirs inside of you. You’re going to hell for the thoughts that swirls in your mind.

“A gift? For who? A significant other? A friend?” You query, subtly gauging his relationship status, and he seems to pick it up quite fast.

“It’s for a friend. We’re in a band together, and this store has many LPs that he’d like to add to his collection.” He explains, but he doesn’t keep eye contact for too long.

His cheeks heat up at how intently you pay attention to him. You figured that if he’d just waltz inside your workplace during three weeks to buy something, you had the prerogative to make him squirm.

“I like this one better,” you say as you pick up the Queen LP. “Their music definitely tells a story… I’m not quite sure about the words to describe it, but it just makes you feel nostalgic. In a good way, though. Makes your heart beat a little faster.”

As he stays quiet, you continue to go off about your favorite music in order to give him some insight in what to buy.

“Whereas this one,” you lay the LP in your hands down to grab another. “is kind of a little chaotic. I won’t say it doesn’t grow on you, but it’s a hard one to wrap your head around. At least for me.” You admit with a shrug.

“It’s hard to really get into it every time I try to listen.” His eyes were wide when you said that, and the pink shade that tainted his cheeks had started to creep up to his ears.

“I will take that one, then. Jimin will probably like it. He’s a chaotic person, so the concept suits him.” The man nodded.

“You sure? Don’t you want to hear a few tracks before you make a decision?” You question him, not wanting to be the one to blame in case the LP turns out to be a bad choice.

When he nods again in reassurance, you comply and walk back to the cash register, so you can ring up his purchase. What you don’t expect, however, is when he mutters: “What’s your name?”

You grin at the sheepish manner that he asks for it, and you wish you could hold his face between the palm of your hands seeing as he looks adorable, even with the pretense badass look. “Y/n. And yours?”

“Jungkook,” he replies earnestly.

“Well, Jungkook, it’s nice to meet you. Here’s your LP,” you announce and hand him the record. “It retails for a total of $15,99.”

He reaches on his pockets after taking the LP from you, and drops a 20-dollar bill on the counter. “Keep the change,” he whispers once he watches you moving around the register.

You gape at him briefly before you watch as he begins shifting again, and you could drool when he bites his already very pink lips. It’s not difficult to notice he wants to say something, but he doesn’t know how to, which is why you wait for him, Jungkook, with an expectant expression gracing your features.

“Thanks,” he settles on saying. Lifting the bag in hand, he clarifies. “For the LP, I mean.”

“You’re welcome,” you respond, a smile never leaving your face. “Thank you for your purchase. Hope you make good use of it.”

He still looks uncertain, but he nods and moves to the door to leave. “Yea, thanks again… Catch you a next time?”

It’s your turn to nod at his words. “Sure. See ya next time, Jungkook.”

When you return his hopeful sentiment, he beams, and as he makes his exit, you swear you could see a skip to his step.

Today was insanely hot, not even your outfit was helping, and you had chosen a smaller tank top paired with some bike shorts because of the weather. It’s been two weeks since you’ve last seen Jungkook, and your days felt like clockwork. You hated that he spent weeks coming to the shop, but as soon as he was confronted about it (very nicely, you add), he stops passing by.

You weren’t sure if it was the sweltering heat, but what you knew for certain is that the day passed in an agonizingly slow pace. You could count in your two hands how many people had entered the stop, and for that reason, you decided to close earlier. It wasn’t super early to close, though; it was only 10 minutes before your actual schedule.

When you get to the door, however, you’re met with a pleasant surprise. A scarcely dressed Jungkook is sweating in front of you, gasping for air, and his eyes twinkle in street’s lighting. He looks delicious, and the neediness you often feel quickly rekindles at the glorious sight you were gifted with.

“Y/n, hi!” He greets you, but you can see he’s still a little breathless.

‘Hi,” you greet back, second-guessing what you should do. You cave to the needy part of you that wishes to eye the boy for a longer while. “I was just about to close up… but you’re sweating buckets. Do you want a glass of water?”

He only signals in consent, and you step out so he could enter. You close the shop regardless, since that way you’d spare yourself of the trouble of leaving it open and Jungkook stays behind, watching as you do so.

After you give him a huge glass of ice-cold water, you observe him suspiciously. Resting against the counter, you wonder what was he doing there? His eyes are mesmerizing, and even as he gulps the refreshing liquid down, they never stray from your figure. You smile smugly to yourself. Your tank top left your bountiful cleavage on display as well as your back tattoos, and you’ve been proved that such combo had an interesting effect in men.

“What are you doing here, Jungkook?” You finally speak up when he stays silent. He seems surprised because his eyes, which were glued to your chest, are suddenly looking back at yours.

“Like what you see?” You tease.

He blushes at your statement and his hand soon find his nape. You noticed his recurrent mannerisms relied a lot on body language, and you could sense how shy the boy actually is around you.

“I forgot…” He mumbles with uncertainty, then shakes his head. “I didn’t know how to… askforyournumber.”

“What?” You ask, your eyebrows furrowed.

“I didn’t know how to ask for your number.”

“Oh?” You gasp, then slowly stalk over to where he is. “Really? You should’ve told me… instead of coming to the show so many times, then vanishing.”

You watch in entertainment as his eyes widen so much, it looks like they could bulge out of their sockets. “Oh… I’m sorry about that.”

“How about this, Jungkook?” You say and your eyes flutter while staring at the beautiful boy, at the way his tongue moistens his lips. “You give me a kiss, and I give you my number. Would you like that?”

He nods repeatedly, eyeing your chest and tattoos wantonly. “Do you want to touch?”

Without saying anything, Jungkook touches the ink on your shoulders reverentially, his fingertips soon finding the crook of your boobs. You also put your hands on him, sneaking them underneath his shirt, and you swear you had to hold back a moan when you feel his pecs.

Needless of verbal communication, your lips brush against his, and he eagerly accepts the kiss. The pair of you kiss for minutes, his tongue brushes against yours sensually and you lose it when you feel Jungkook’s hard dick poke on your thigh. As you separate from one another, you realize you don’t want his manly hands to get off you.

Resting your hands on his chest while you gaze him through your lashes, you try to ask him out in the most nonchalant way. “Do you want to get out of here?”

His smile is blinding, and his hands grab your hips in reassurance. “I’d love to.”

The smile on your face is also uncontainable, so you rush to pick your stuff up and lock the backdoor. On your way out, you almost can’t believe you’re in fact walking hand-in-hand with the mysterious boy that thought dropping by at your work was a good flirting method.

If it was good, you didn’t know, but it was damn well effective.

a/n: Sammy !!! here it is, i envisioned the reader as you @breadoffoxy ily! Jester, @youarejesting, thank you for borrowing me your prompt. I hope to have done it justice. 🤍

[honnybunnie]

Of course! A event or party hosted by Diavolo is sure to be be grand. when you say their color, im hoping the color they usually wear or the colors they have on during their demon forms.

I apologize for how long it took, I can’t go in blind, I had to design some clothes to get a better picture of the fancy outfits<3 <3

Lucifer:

There were only 2 reasons you decided to work the party. Diavolo offered to pay for your service, and second once you saw Barbatos display your outfit it became motivation. Lucifer along with Diavolo was the talk of these parties. Even with all seven brothers you weren’t even able to attend a party with a date, so it didn’t hurt to work at a party.

This party was to celebrate Lucifer’s thousands of years of serving as Diavolo’s loyal friend.

You Stood there welcoming the guests with a bow. The guests smitten by the attire that draped your body. A white laced choker with a red bow, White corset in addition to a red blazer with stilted tails in the back, tight high waist black pants with a damark pattern. The last detail was the red peacock feathers embellished with black and gold eyes. Diavolo acknowledged that even his wait staff needed to be well suited for every occasion. You were at the command of every guest, still not having a sight of Lucifer. There was a slight touch felt on the lower back. Reacting with a full body turn, you didn’t see anyone. Sighing at the action, you resumed your duty of collecting empty champagne glasses, and handing out horderves. Barbatos sent you on a run to the kitchen to get more champagne. 

Pouring the champagne into empty glasses, you jolted at the sudden touch that was felt on your lower back. Swinging a hand to hit who the culprit, only to have it caught spinning you around to face them. Lucifer with a smirk pulled you closer by the lower back. “I apologize was this not what you wanted?,” he mumbled adjusting his lips to your ear, “Didn’t you wear this outfit to finally receive my attention. Don’t think I haven’t notice how great you look dressed as my animal, and in my color no less.”

Mammon:

You had told Diavolo about the hotels with gambling as a main attraction. Though gambling was illegal in devildom, he decided to make it into a little charity. As soon as Mammon had gotten wind of it and he needed his lady luck to attend with him. “Mc, as ya first demon, ya should know that you will be attending the gambling charity with me,” he demanded with a slight smirk, “Make sure to wear something that a lucky Lady would wear.” The night of the event you were running late, because Asmodeus kept making adjustments to your look. He said its no good looking like a cheap whore for an extravagant event.

Mammon was already at the event gambling... losing and acquiring more debt as time passed.

Emerging into the event hall multiple eyes turned to glance at your appearance, You wore a ruffled black shirt, tucked into a yellow skirt with a slit on each side of the skirt, topped with gold chandeliers earrings, and a crow pendant necklace. which Asmodeus claimed were both charmed to bring good luck. One demon already approaching them, “why Hello, you must be the hum-,” he was stopped by a knock to the teeth. “Hey they’re spoken for, don’t pursue just any human,” he growled, “this is my lucky charm.”

Walking away with arm around your shoulder, “gold really suits you,” he cooed. The night was mainly you plastered onto his lap, and when you weren’t directing touching him coincidentally he’d lose.

Leviathan:

Diavolo wanted to hold an event to help gather the otaku’s of devildom, and so he planned to host a cosplay cafe in a month, at rad. All the server’s were going to wear different outfits, and Barbatos had jolted down the measurements for the cosplay outfits that the seamstress to sew. Barbotos stated that the seamstress was going to make the outfits and design them. You were excited to see what the outfit was going be designed and sewed for you.

You were excited to tell Levi about the event, but he was always busy in the room, and when he left it was always to run to the craft store. He was definitely working on a big project. The day of the event Levi knocked on your door with a bag stretched out into your face. “th-this will look g-great on you,” he stuttered, “see you at the c-cosplay c-cafe.” Was he the one that made the cosplay, shrugging you stormed to rad.

As the cosplay Cafe was about to begin. You gazed at the cosplay in the mirror. Just wow. White collared purple tank top romper, a black tie, black bunny ears and tail. The top part of the romper was very revealing. Ready to work you picked up a plate and placed some starting treats.

You skimmed the cafe, hoping to find the purple haired otaku. Once in sight you rushed over with a skip. "Welcome back master, I hope these treats will find you well," you voiced. "M-mc!?!?! Huh.. h-huh," Levi panicking concealing his red tinted face with his arm, "t-thank YOU FOR THE TREATS... You LOOK GOOD IN THE OUTFIT I MADE." Your hunch earlier was right, you smiled and bowed, "thank you master, I hope you and I can put it to good use again." "Y-yes we will," he muttered.

Satan: 

They caught your attention at Cat Cafe. Diavolo wanted you and Satan to be at the event as helpers, because he was horrified at the thought of some of the demons would eat the cats. You both were instructed to wear a something formal with some cat ears that they will provide. Hearing this you constructed a outfit in your mind.

At the Cat Cafe you presented your self, in a green button shirt, black sailor high waist shorts, cat apron, and green cat ears to match. Satan was stealing glances at you often, and you wanted to confront him about him. “MC... you should wear those ears more often,” he whispered into your ear. He patted your butt, “Maybe next week to the library. lets make it a date while we are at it.”

You blushed at his comment. “I noticed that you choose carefully on the color too, you choose my demon color.” he added.

Asmodeus:

You knew that when ever their was a Diavolo hosted party at the fall, Asmo was always tailing someone to make them his that evening. You wanted to be the next pray, you observed his motions, and types he would pick up at every party whenever both of you attended. He prayed on the ones that covered up more. I guess he was the type to reveal what was kept to the imagination. He also really love people who showed some shoulder showing.

Arriving at the fall, with a long sleeve pink knitted shirt with the shoulders, burgundy leather pants, some caramel high knee boots, and a black scorpion brooch located on the heart. He was already prowling around, but when you swiftly swung the doors opened and strolled in, his eyes locked onto your hips. they swayed side to side, the confidence that build with ever stride.

He approached you. “Mc, what a breathtaking look,” he purred “who exactly are you trying to impress, so I can destroy them. You grin, “well then your gonna have to destroy you self,” replying calmly to his comment. Smitten by the comment he cupped your check, “Oh Mc, this color really bring out the color in your shoulders.”

Beelzebub:

You were to attend as a maid to Diavolo's tea and treat tasting party, he would compensate you for your time. Honestly all you cared about was being able to dress as a maid to impress the cute Gluttony demon. Barbatos prepared a puffy orange maid dress, that have a black leather apron, and gloves for the party. When the party was on its way, you were to offer tea to anyone who requested.

You weren't surprised to oversee the ginger take in every treat in sight. Of course wasn't there for the tea, so you walked passed him to pour some tea for someone who was asking. He must have not noticed you, continuing the duties tasked to you. There were already 2  times that Barbatos had to restock the food that Beelzebub had already consumed. Pouting that not once did he ask for tea. This time Barbatos wanted you to replenish the food that was to be laid out in front of him. 

“MC, thank you, I’ve been hoping you would serve me treats and tea,’ he smiled patting your head “you look very cute in orange. Please be my maid again soon.”

Belphegor:

A sleepover party was enough to make this cowboy excited. You could see it in his texts. Lately Belphie’s been urging you for more naps, although he thought that maybe you slept too little to begin with. He was always upset your sleep schedules clashed. If he was tired you’d be wide awake, and vise versa.

He knew that when ever Diavolo organized an event, You would always make time for it, sleepy or not. The best part was that pajama’s were a must, and you needed to make the final tug on the reel. Your attire was a satin cow patterned printed shirt, and satin navy blue shorts. though the type of fabric wasn’t as breathable, and was too nice for a sleepover. The night was spent wide awake lounging around on the bean bag chair. Closing your eyes, enjoying the rain and thunder sound a sudden weight sinked onto your lap. Glancing at a groggy Belphie, “you look adorable, so Im going to sleep here with you,” he demanded “maybe if you were my sweater you’d look cuter.” 

[godsofmonster]

Bangtan MC ≽ VI.

Reader x Bangtan- Motorcycle Club

Word Count- 7.1k

Warnings- sexual content, death, murder, guns, drugs, violence, betrayal,  mentions of suicide, mentions of rape, etc.

For as long as I can remember back, I always wanted to be in a motorcycle club. Since I was six years old, the only thing on my mind was getting my hands on a Harley and a cut. I was a wolf, a wild cur, cut from the pack with bloodstained on my fur. Every wrong has marked a debt because a beaten dog never forgets.

The sun was gone, but its light reached for the last bit of sky it could find. The road was practically deserted, I passed a total of four cars on my ride to 18th street. 

My father's motorcycle felt foreign under my touch, and as much as I wanted to make it mine, I couldn't find its compassion. At any minute, I felt it would flip on me, shutdown, or crash. I was riding with no helmet and prayed no police would pull me over. As much as I wanted to race down the road, I took the ride with ease. I could not act relentless, the world was not in my favor as of late. 

Coming up on Charming street, I spotted an old Chevy Impala that was tinted dark. It wasn't black, but it appeared that way in the moonlight. The extravagant ride stood out like a sore thumb in a small town like this.

Once he spotted me, as well, he proceeded to turn on his engine. I parked on the opposite side of the road, and his headlights flashed on as mine went out. My eyes scouted the environment, peering over both shoulders, as I unmounted the bike. Even while knowing that this road would be vacant at night, my paranoia was louder than any voice of reason. 

My feet paced quickly for the passenger seat. I pulled on the handle and almost had a slight heart attack to find that it was locked, I pulled it again, yanking it out of temporary distress. Upon closer observation, I noted his car was a deep moss color before finally hearing the click of the lock open. 

"What the hell is this?" I questioned, while plopping into the seat, and swiftly shutting the door. 

"What?" Romero asked, clueless.

"This," I gestured to the vehicle that encased us. He glanced about as if he could not see what I was suggesting. "This car- it's obnoxious!"

The seats were a custom leather, a soft cream color. Personal articles decorated the car’s interior space, novelty items, and religious emblems. "What? Are you infiltrating the cartel?"

Agent Romero stared at me with puzzled eyes, shortly before a chortle erupted from his lungs. He raised his hand at me as if to ask for a minute, while he allowed his giggles to run their course. However, I was not laughing.

"That’s racist,” He pointed out in the midst of his laughter. He leaned forth, stretching his hand to tenderly stroke the skin of his dashboard. "Don't hate the car,"

One would think that I would be more understanding given my choice of lifestyle. Except, for the fact, that my brain was screaming with anxiety and frustration.  

"You couldn't pick something more... appropriate?" I said trying to push my emotions away. Romero shifted the gear into drive, and pulled out of the parking space.

"What? Like a police car?" He joked.

I don’t know if it was just by comparison, but Romero seemed to be in a rather good mood tonight. I, on the other hand, was a panicking mess in the seat beside him. There was little to no tolerance for joy on my side. Any trace of it registered into further panic and uncertainty. It was apparent in the way my leg bounced in place, and it was noticeable enough for it to catch his attention. 

"Try to remain calm," He said in a tone of encouragement. 

I was in no place to accept guidance. The last thing I wanted to hear was the cliche crap that everyone knew how to spill. We were here to do a job, one that risked my life in every possible way. I didn’t want his encouragement, I wanted his understanding. If he was going to use me to his advantage, he needs to know that I had the most to lose. My life was on the line, in more ways than one. 

"Can you at least tell me where we are going?”

As much as I wanted to sit in silence, I had to fill him in on everything that had happened since our meeting this morning. 

"Down Riverside road," I tried to reduce the coldness in my voice. 

I rolled my head against the headrest, squeezing my eyes shut, and attempting to dismiss all of the tension and panic from my consciousness. It was seemingly coming from nowhere and yet, everything stressed me more. 

My entire life, I only ever heard stories of things the club did. They always came from third, outside parties that were biased against them. I told myself a number of things to find reason in the terrible stories I heard. 

Bangtan wasn't full of doctors or lawyers, they were blue-collar guys. The way we saw it, they were out there risking everything to protect our way of life. Everyone knew they cut some corners, sold a few things on the side, and asked for their money in violent ways. It was all to get a few extra bucks and perks. When you lived in a community like that, everything seemed normal, even crime. There were never any outsiders with a different perspective, never.  It used to make me proud to have the kind of father I did. 

Though, now I was the outsider with a new perspective.

I was terrified of what I might see, the corrupt and brutal choices that they could make. I was afraid that Bangtan really had turned into the gang Romero mentioned. Comparing a group of individuals I always admired to some of the foulest scum I’ve learned about would be earth-shattering.

"Do you mind filling me in?" He asked after I failed to, myself. 

My eyes reopened, and found him focused on the road ahead. He held the steering wheel with a single arm at the twelve o'clock position. He was mostly a combination of darkness and a dim outline. The fake lights from inside the car did little to illuminate him.

"After our meeting, I ran into two of the club members," I began to explain, reliving the event like a movie in my mind. "We witnessed a deal go down, and they handled the situation as you would expect."

He wasn't looking in my direction but I could tell he was paying close attention to my words. Not only for information on the club but information on me. 

"What were you doing?" Romero was concerned about my behavior in the field. He had a right to be, but it still bothered me. 

"Babysitting some bimbo who was with us," I muttered annoyed at just the thought. I could have left it there but I knew I couldn't lie to him. "Until, I saw a PB member approaching them..."

He recognized the tone in my voice, and took his eyes off the road for a second to ask,

"What did you do?" He sounded like an angry parent, on the verge of lecturing.

"What was I supposed to do?” I attempted to remain calm. I thought he might see things from my point of view. “I had to interfere, or they could have been hurt." 

"You shot him?" He asked in disbelief and quick anger.

"Not dead!" I clarified, defensively. "I!- I just injured him."

I could see his demeanor change, that good mood I suspected earlier was gone. His fist tightened around the steering wheel, veins popping and outlined by the faint lighting.

"Are you insane?" His voice was rough, bossy, and cold. "You're an unauthorized federal agent and you fired rounds, on the street, in the middle of the day?"

I found myself, once again, being lectured about the same event. I was criticized for saving lives and doing my job. Neither of them were in a place to talk down on me.

"I did what I had to do!" I yelled. "If it wasn't for that- we would have no idea that the PB was cooking meth in Blackburn. We wouldn't have the exact address and time Bangtan was planning their retaliation."

I reminded him of the facts, what actually mattered at this moment. "If you wanted a traditional agent, then you should have gotten one!"

Romero didn't say anything in response. He didn't know what to expect from me. I was raised with a set of beliefs that were different than his own, but that was exactly why he needed me. 

I was here because of my connection and inside knowledge of the club. I knew how they thought and operated, I could speak their tongue. What I did today, established trust between me and them. One that I certainly needed,  after learning about Yoongi's suspicions. If he could doubt me, so could have the rest of them. Bangtan didn’t believe in coincidences and they left no loose ends. I could no longer raise any more suspicions.

"Take the next left," I sighed, after taking a moment to notice our surroundings. 

"Riverside road is still up ahead," He stated as if I didn't know.

"I know that," I said bitterly, wondering why he continued to question me. "This is another way there. If we go down that way, there is a chance we might run into the club."

That was the last thing we needed. The house was in a rural part of town, at the very edge of Blackburn by a lake. Not many people lived by that area, and with a car like this, we would be suspicious for sure.

-

The roads on this side of town were made of only dirt, they were bumpy and uneven. The night fell heavier, with the tension of the forest, it crept on a single side of the path. The lights beams were soft, we couldn't see more than three feet in front of us. Romero worried about the condition of his wheels and took the drive gently. 

"That's got to be it," I muttered, staring out the window. 

Romero drove the car slowly past a driveway that led to the house. It was small, red brick, and cabin-like. It was invisibly ordinary. 

To common folks, there was nothing about this residence that raised eyebrows. To the trained eye, however, a small detail stood out instantly. "Look at that- industrial filters,"

They were large black tanks that were attacked to the side of the home. By the looks of them, they were cooking deadly amounts of meth. 

"Any sign of life?" He asked as he was keeping his eye on the road in front of us. 

"The lights are on, but the blinds are shut," I informed him. There was only a blue pick-up truck beside the house. No other vehicles in sight. "The club will be in a black Nissan NV200." 

It wasn't long before some trees cut my line of sight from the property. I leaned back in my seat and looked at the surrounding area. "Turn into the field right here,"

The car bounced as we went off the trail. The left side of the house was blocked by a few oak trees and bushes. It wasn't dense enough to cover the house, but just enough to set the property boundaries. In the dark, it was the perfect place to hide behind. We were at least twenty yards from away. 

"Now, we wait," Romero muttered to himself with a sigh. 

He shut off the engine, the interior lights went dark, and we were hidden in the night. 

"Do you have the papers?" I said, turning to look at him. The only light source came from the nearly full moon in the sky. It was pale on his tan skin. 

"In the glove compartment," He instructed, keeping his eyes on the house.

I leaned over and popped open the chamber, where a stack of papers and a few CDs, was all I could feel with my hand. The contract was stapled together, but it was difficult to make out the small print in the dark.

"They agree with all your terms. None of the information you give us on the mc can be used against them in a court of law. However, any drug-related crime that may occur with the Camilo Cartel is still our jurisdiction."  

I planned to stop that before it could happen. If it got that far, then I have already failed them. 

"What are their conditions?" I asked, knowing very well that they would have a few. 

"That you don't withhold any information," His voice was skeptical of that happening. He turned my way but looked back forward before I could do the same. "You also can't take part in any illegal activity, or report yourself as a D.E.A agent." 

The D.E.A was very particular about their image, having someone like me on their team, had to be kept confidential. But I didn't care. I wasn't doing this for any kind of recognition on their part. 

"I'll also be administrating you a drug test every week for the remainder of the investigation," When considering my past, it was no wonder why Romero and the higher-ups were cautious. “If any of these rules are broken, the deal goes out the door.”

I was an agent who was never meant to see the light of day in this job. I was a gamble, and they desperately needed the odds to go in their favor. 

I was being observed on either side of this situation. My will had to be strong to voluntarily put myself in this position. Trusted by no one, and yet, needed by everyone- I was the help no one wanted to thank. 

I grabbed the pen that was sticking out of the cup holder between us. Turning to the very last page, where at the bottom, was a line waiting for my signature. 

When I scribbled my name onto that piece of paper, I felt as if I was sighing my own death certificate. 

"(Y/n)..."

His voice had shifted into a low pitch, steady and cautious. I turned to see what had triggered this behavior. I followed his gaze, out his window, to the dirt road we had just stirred out of. There was a black van stalking down the path, with its lights shut off in the middle of the darkness. 

"Oh shit," I whispered. Even from this far away, at night, I could make out Taehyung's familiar head through the passenger window. "What do we do?"

"Nothing." He was firm, eyes glued to the movement of the approaching vehicle. "Absolutely nothing,"

He looked back at me to ensure that what he spoke was understood thoroughly. "No matter what happens- we cannot interfere, (Y/n)."

That meant, even if someone got hurt. 

"Okay," I responded. 

Though, I worried that my emotions were still much out of my control. I wanted to do my job, but I was being asked to stand by and do nothing. 

"They're passing the house," Romero stated. 

It was getting more difficult to see through the thin patch of wilderness that protected us. The road, directly in front of the driveway was almost impossible to see. Especially, with such a dark vehicle and no headlights. 

"They aren't going to park in the driveway," I thought as I spoke. "The van would be right in the line of the crossfire." 

"But if they leave the driveway open, there is a chance for the PB to escape." He contradicted. 

They must have known that, so why would they do it anyway? Were they that confidante that they could take them out? 

Our eyes stared into the darkness of the driveway. The dirt leading up to the house was visible enough to see shapes and shadows the ground. We watched for any sudden movement on either part. I also tried to foresee the plan that Bangtan had in motion.

"Unless they want them to," I suggested.

"What are you talking about?" He wasn't very convinced. "This is supposed to be retaliation for the shooting at your house."

"But killing foot soldiers who run a small lab isn't much of a statement." I know the idea didn’t make any sense, and I didn't know what the right answer was but there was something we were missing. I was sure of it.

"A lab in Blackburn, (Y/n)." He sounded annoyed by my doubts. "That goes against their deal, of course, they are going to kill everyone in that building!"

Romero simply assumed that I was sugar-coating the events that were about to take place. That I didn't want to see Bangtan for the killers they were. But I knew that they were much more than that. 

Brains before bullets. 

That is what hung behind the table of their meeting room. They weren't some unorganized street gang. There was a reason they had made it so far in the arms dealing business. 

I wasn't known for holding my tongue during an argument, however, we both were quick to do so. 

There were four male figures quickly approaching the house. They were dressed from head to toe in black, shielding their face, and wearing ski masks. There was a large gap between where they stood and the red house. 

"Where are the other three?" Romero asked as we continued to watch. I wasn't sure, but I thought I could make out shadows in the bushes at the front of the driveway. 

Based solely on height and posture, I thought I could make out Jimin and Taehyung. The other two could have been Jungkook and Yoongi. Though, that didn't matter for long. The figure I deemed to be Taehyung, looked back to the bushes, where I had seen the shadows. He seemed to be making sure everything was set. 

Then he nodded to the others beside him.

All four figures brought a KG9 below their chests. Their aim was the building right in front of them, and the night seemed so calm before they pulled the trigger.

Fully automatic weapons ripped through the silence, the flashes coming from their muzzles were like the Fourth of July. 

Even this far, the sound surprised me. It illuminated the surrounding ground as if a lightning storm had formed on Earth's surface. The details of their black clothing were visible with every burst of light. I could make out each individual set of eyes glowing in the dark. 

The windows into the house were pierced and shattered by the ammunition. The boys began to step back, slowly, keeping their fingers tight around the trigger. It didn't take long to hear the response of those who were inside. 

The front door was kicked open, out came pouring about five or six PB members. All they had to buy them some time were a few FN-57s while they made a run for it. By that time, the four bodies were seeking cover behind a large stake severed tree trunks. The other three came out as their replacement, returning fire while the others reloaded. 

The PB made it into their truck, two in the front, and three in the exposed back. All of them continued shooting except for the one in the driver's seat; his shadow was frantically attempting to get the engine started. The wheels screeched dirt into the air, almost as loud are the gunshots.

The truck shot down the driveway, threatening to run over anything in its path. Though the blasts remained, I couldn't see any indication of injured bodies. 

"What the hell is this..." I heard Romero say as the scene unfolded right before our eyes. 

All of the seven boys gathered in front of the house. Three of them ran into the open residence, while the rest stayed on the lookout. 

"They aren't going after them," I stated. I felt relieved seeing that the dangerous part had passed. However, the question remained, what were they going to do now?

"This doesn't make any sense," Romero sounded irritated. 

My eyes remained on the outside figures, taking note of the tall man with long legs. The others seemed to be working around him. Namjoon was the only one who ever stood that way, with so much authority.

The other three members came out of the house shortly. It appeared to have exchanged some words as they walked down the porch. They didn't appear to be worried about any other unwanted company. They felt safe enough, that they removed their masks. 

Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook were the three that searched the house. They gathered around the rest of the guys in conversation. 

"What the hell are they doing?" Romero asked me directly. He looked at me as if I had all the answers. 

"I don't know, " I assured him.

In between the group, stood Hoseok, with a black box in the grip of his hand. We watched carefully as he handed the mysterious case to Jimin. Jungkook stood at his side and encouragingly patted his shoulder.

The group disbanded. Everyone began to make their way back down the driveway, their feet racing to the shelter behind the bushes. 

Everyone, except for Jimin. 

He, instead, returned into the house with the case in his hand. I thought about anything and everything in that house that could be valuable. Something that would be worth risking their lives to obtain. The only thing in there, that could be worth anything, was the methamphetamine they were manufacturing. 

"They're taking the drugs," Romero reached the same conclusion I had. But why would they? Bangtan did not need it.

"They're going to sell it themselves," He told me. The tone of his voice was almost positive as if he was happy for me to see them in a bad light.

"No," I replied, even though it wasn't a question. "That can't be it,"

When I looked at Romero, he was watching me with aggravation, my constant denial of all his claims were frustrating him. 

"(Y/n), look at them!" He raised his tone. "They didn't break into a drug lab to leave empty-handed!"

His words fell on deaf ears, there was nothing he could say to change my mind. I knew, in my gut, that it wasn't the case, but I couldn't escape the dreadful feeling beside it. 

"If you can't start to see them for what they are- we're going to have some serious-"

"Wait-" Just then, the idea clicked in my head. My heart began to race, like a drum line marching in my chest. The dread in my stomach was replaced with pure terror. His racing figure was running out the front door. I gasped, 

"Jimin!" 

It was as if daylight had emitted from the house. It was as blinding as the sun and powerful as a volcano. The explosion trembled the atmosphere, the ground rumbled and shook the vehicle. Romero's arm reached over me, instinctively, shielding me from any threatening shock-waves.

The house was set ablaze. It was an empty shell of stone, consumed by smoke and fire. There was so much smoke that it was difficult to see any details on the ground. It was a sight straight from the underworld. 

After the initial fright, a new one consumed me entirely. 

"Oh my god, Jimin..." 

I re-assembled in my seat and directly lunged for the door. My hand wrapped around the handle and it clicked open.

"(Y/n)!" 

Romero surged forward, grasping for the base of the window, and slamming the door shut. "You can't."

"B-but he-" I stuttered with panic.

"He made it out of the house, (Y/n)." He tried to soothe me, spoke to me calmly and reassuringly. 

"What the fuck is he thinking?!" My head spun with a muddle of fright and anger. "Why wouldn't he use a remote detonator?! Is he insane?!"

I yelled as if Romero would care about their well-being. He watched me panic and fear for the safety of Jimin. I continued to search for movement through the cloud of dust and smoke.

"Maybe... there was no time?" He suggested, trying to figure it out for profiling purposes. "This was just decided today."

I understood that they felt the need to act fast, but that didn't mean they had to act recklessly. Putting Jimin's life in danger like that was idiotic. The worst part was that it was probably his idea in the first place. I could imagine him declare that he had it perfectly under control. 

"Look," Romero called.

A strong wind had come toward the property, blowing the smoke toward the back of the home, and leaving the front clear for sight. I made out Taehyung's form running toward the house, where, getting up from the floor was Jimin. 

I sighed a deep relief in my chest that was almost overwhelming. Taehyung ran up to Jimin, placing his hands on his shoulders and checking on him. Once Jimin reassured him that he was alright, Taehyung assisted in getting away from the burning building as fast as possible. 

"Goddamn idiot..." I cursed him for scaring me. I never wanted to so badly hurt, and embrace, someone in the same breath. 

-

After that, the events that followed were rather simple. Bangtan gathered themselves and left the property as soon as Jimin was on his feet. Even in that rush of violence, it was nothing compared to what they could have done. All they left behind was a single drop of the rage that fueled them. That was the warning they were leaving for the PB.

Agent Romero and I didn't speak much on our return to 18th and Charming street. There was tension inside of the vehicle that made the silence appear like the best selection. 

I assumed we were both left with a confusing haze in the back of our heads. Nothing of what we expected had happened tonight. His knowledge of a field agent didn't assist him in this investigation. Neither did my connection with the members of the club. We were left to re-think everything we thought we knew. 

"How did you know?" He asked out of the blue. We were merely two blocks away from my drop-off point. 

My gaze turned away from the deserted stores that drifted away, as we passed them by. His exterior appeared unbothered as if he had continued our streak of silence. 

"Know what?" His question was unclear. 

He remained expressionless and without any new movement. I almost questioned if he said anything at all, but he was only hesitating. 

"How did you know Bangtan wouldn't kill them?" He asked more specifically. He asked as if I had some kind of psychic vision into the future. 

"I- I don't know," I replied, honestly. I could have explained it as some kind of outlaw intuition. "It just didn't feel like they would..."

I knew that wasn't helpful, nor something he wanted to hear. His distrust in me came from the connection I held with the club. Especially now, I've been home after so long. But it was the truth, they weren't as thoughtless as outsiders thought. 

It was easy for Romero to group Bangtan with every other organization he's dealt with before. That would be his downfall, though. Bangtan was different. 

"Why would they wear masks- if they planned on killing everyone?" 

Romero turned his head at my rhetorical question. That detail was the only thing I took notice of. However, I wasn't sure when I precisely figured it out. 

"So, why didn't they kill them?" He asked, actually looking for my opinion this time. "Why would they let everyone go and just blow up the place?"

That was the question we needed to figure out. I understood that it wasn't the typical response for a gang. Especially for Bangtan, who were capable of doing much more damage. 

"If they covered their identities, then it means they don't want the PB to know it was them," I stated the obvious. Romero nodded his head and agreed. 

"Who else could they blame it on?" He continued the train of thought. 

"The Camilo Cartel is the only significant group that is fighting against the PB," I mentioned, as they were the only ones that mattered. Was Bangtan trying to put the blame on them?

"Blowing up a lab and letting people escape in the process, isn't part of the cartel’s MO," Romero pointed out. "They are more 'cut off your limbs' type of organization."

The visual idea gave me chills. "Do you think the club would know that?"

"I don't know, maybe it could have slipped their mind," I thought to myself, recalling back to their brilliant idea of manually detonating the bomb from the inside, instead of having an outside detonator. 

When time had passed after my words, I figured he didn't need any more convincing of my observation. We continued our silent drive.

The street was exactly as we had left it hours ago. No cars in sight and the only light came from the street lamps that lined the sidewalk. His car came to a gentle stop and lazily pulled into the curb. 

"I apologize about before," He said before I made a move to the door. I watched him sigh in the seat. "I just thought that you-"

"I know," He didn't have to explain himself. It was easy to see that his trust in me was delicate. "You aren't the first person to question everything I do." 

I didn't mean for my exit to sound so dramatic, but there was nothing else he could say. I knew how to function under the opposition of those around me, it wouldn't stop me from doing what I had to do. 

I let the passenger door shut behind me. A cool breeze ran up my arms as I stepped onto the empty road. My father's Dyna sat, waiting for me, exactly where I had left it. 

The streetlight above illuminated the bike, like a sentence from God, its metallic structure reflected the luminosity. I mounted the machine, its seat feeling cold under my weight. 

"Hey," Romero had rolled down his window. His face was almost canceled by the shadow that his roof cast. I met his black eyes. 

"Next time, I'll listen to your judgment," He spoke with a bit of shame in his voice. "You did good work today... thank you." 

I rode off feeling satisfied that night.

-

The night had gone by quickly once I returned to the House of Cards. I arrived at the crowded bar but was vacant of any comforting life. There wasn't much left for me to do than to sleep for the night, in hopes, of being a different person in the morning.  

It didn't take long for daybreak to come by the sheer curtains of the two windows. The light illuminated my face, making my body stir within the sea of bed-sheets. I had forgotten the benefits of getting a good night's rest. 

I also underestimated the blessings of a warm hot shower. All the past tension and worries of the past few days were stripped away with the heat. After the events of yesterday, I was expecting today to be more on the ordinary side. I was praying for it. 

It was early in the morning, and the bar wouldn't be open until noon. Which meant I had until then to be alone and collect my settling thoughts. There were so many blurred lines I could not see the edges to, where I stood in certain situations. My job, the club, my worries, the doubts; they all seemed to merge into one. An unhealthy mixture of morals that contradict one another, they fought for the steering wheel that was my life.

When I stepped out of the room, feeling rejuvenated, I thought I would walk into a peaceful, empty space. However, I was met with a quite disturbing sight, instead. 

"Mornin, sweetheart." 

Jaeeun was seated at the edge of the bar. She wore a pair of reading glasses, resting low on the bridge of her nose, and a stack of papers in her hands. Even the terms of endearment that came from her mouth seemed to be demeaning. 

What had I done to deserve such misfortune?

"Morning," I replied shortly after the shock, walking toward the back of the bar, where the coffee machine had become enticing. 

There was a freshly brewed pot already made, the black liquid was threatening hot, and a third of the way full. I found a few empty mugs right beside the machine and poured a cup tentatively. 

"There's some food there," She spoke directly behind me. 

I looked over my shoulder and spotted the plastic bag not far beside her on the bar. The bag held no identifying writing, simply a 'thank you' printed in red. I was wary of accepting food from Jaeeun. I could not see her missing out on a chance to poison me. My suspicious eye was no secret. "Namjoon brought it,"

She rolled her eyes at me as if she would actually bother, but I was sure she would. The possibility of her lying crossed my mind. However, my stomach was rumbling for anything, even if it was poison. I would die happily for whatever smelled that good. 

I took a seat two stools from her, using a napkin as a coaster, and digging into the bag. It was a standard breakfast platter, barely at that point between warm and room temperature. My mouth watered at the sight.

While I stuffed food down my throat, Jaeeun remained silent and inspected her documents, and my mind began to wonder. 

"Namjoon's here?" I tried to remain casual as if Namjoon wasn't one of the topics raging through my mind. Jaeeun saw right through me, of course.

"He was," Her eyes remained glued on the paper. "He mentioned I would find you here,"

The bitter tone in her voice was a clear indication that she was not pleased with my new living arrangement. Hell, if it were up to her, I wouldn't be living at all. 

"I'm not staying here for free," I felt the need to explain myself. 

"Believe me, I don't want to know how you'll be repaying him." She said suggestively. 

Heat rose to my face immediately, as I had trouble swallowing my food at her words. I imagined, in her head, I was doing all I could do to be close to Namjoon. Though it was not completely wrong, it was not for the reason she thought.

"It's not like that," I muttered, embarrassed that the words embarrassed me in the first place. "I'm going to be helping him with the bar."

The scoff from her lips seemed unconvinced by my statement. She simply thought I was lusting to ruin her life. Explaining that it was not all about her would be a mission impossible. Her narcissistic behavior would not allow her to believe anything else, even if it was the truth.

"What are you even still doing here?" She spat, finally blessing me with her piercing eyes. "Do you really have nothing to go back to?"

One would think I would have grown accustomed to Jaeeun’s spiteful words. But there was always something about her that just struck a nerve. It was a never-ending argument with her, and I had even lost my appetite.

"You know, you seem to be spending a lot of energy worrying about my life." I wished I was as composed as her, but my anger was rising to the surface, and she loved to see it. 

"I don't care about your life," Jaeeun smirked and removed her glasses, making sure nothing would distort the resentment emanating from her eyes. "Just the people you dare to touch." 

She settled her feet on the floor underneath, her leather heel boots clicking on the tile surface. Her body followed in walking toward me, wanting me to squirm in my seat, with each step. She granted herself the open seat beside me, giving our conversation the attention I didn't want.

"Namjoon has enough going on," She warned me. "He just lost a father for the second time." 

She pulled out a single cigarette from behind her ear, holding it between her fingers and looked at me like I was nothing. "He already inherited his responsibilities- he doesn't need his burden too." 

Sometimes I underestimated just how terrible she could be. Her lips painted dark stained the foot of the cigarette. A lighter flickered a heat source for her to enjoy her taunting with an extra kick. 

I swallowed my temper and dared to remind her,

"I'm not the one looking for him." 

 She continued to hold her poker face as if she already knew. Her porcelain cheeks hollowed in with a smooth drag, nicotine was like oxygen for her lungs.

"His head is twisted, he doesn't know what he wants." She justified him, smoke escaping passed her lips, unworried. 

"And you do?" I asked her to see the absurdity that I did. "You can't dictate his life forever, Jaeeun."

I was gravely mistaken. Jaeeun believed, wholeheartedly, that she could. Namjoon might not have known but his mother's influence was always there. In her eyes that was not about to change. My very doubt meant challenging her. 

"I’m his mother, and until I am dead and cold, I'm going to do anything I have to do to protect him." Her voice went from taunting to threatening. The words practically hissed out of her mouth, then I remembered what Jimin told me.

"I must really scare you, huh?"

I found a smile sneaking onto my lips at the thought. Jaeeun was much less frightening when she let her emotions seep through, it reminded me that she was human as well. 

"You're a greedy whore," Her black eyes leaned in, her poisonous tongue whispered like an empty threat. "And bad shit happens to greedy whores."

Her aggressiveness only confirmed my suspicions. 

She flicked her young cigarette into my mug of coffee, tainting the drink with its ash, before rising from her spot. While watching her walk back to her stack of papers, I realized I was not left with the same drained feeling that our conversations had in the past.

In the stillness of our talk, I began to see us for what we truly were, just two little girls fighting for the attention of a man. Even with her age, it never stopped being that, and I was going down the same path. 

In a normal relationship, two people entrust each other to respect the love that they share. That meant listening, understanding, and being faithful. That, however, was not the deal when it came to an mc like Bangtan. Women were objects to share, possessions to show off, comfort to lean on when times got hard. If you were able to marry one of them, you got the title of old lady, which just meant you belonged to one specific member. But even as with an old lady, their picking of women did not stop, if anything, it increased. Groupies that hung around the club wanted nothing more than to get that title. The security that a relationship was supposed to give you was nonexistent.

Jaeeun had been the president's old lady, that came with a lot of respect and constant threats. It was a fight for your place, or someone might take it, which is why she was so defensive. I don't think she was ready to give that up just yet.

"How did you handle it?" I was curious about how someone could live like this for so many years. If I had never left, I probably wouldn't have noticed. "This life is intoxicating- it kills you from the inside out while giving you the best high of your life."

Jaeeun didn't respond aggressively to the question. In fact, it appeared to cause a deep stage of nostalgia, taking her back to the struggles that this life brought her. True wisdom conceived by the most painful teacher- experience.

"There are only two ways an old lady makes it in this life," She answered quietly. When her eyes locked with mine, I found a different kind of hate within them. "You tell her nothing or you tell her everything."

I imagined neither option was comfortable to live with. But I knew that if you loved the man, then you learned to love the life. Then there was no truth you couldn't handle. 

"You have no idea what it takes- what it will cost you to be his old lady."

Jaeeun looked at me with pity, with actual pity from a place of true understanding. 

"Old ladies can make or break a club, (Y/n)." She shook her head. When she spoke, it was no longer an attempt to scare me away. For the first time, I felt that she was being sincere, even if it isn't what I wanted to hear. "You'll ruin him."

"You don't know that," But neither did I. 

I had always been so disinterested in love. This way of life dissolved any chance for trust. The choices seemed to be, live as a fool or be doomed to die alone. Jaeeun had made her choice a long time ago.

"I know that you need someone to tell you the truth," She once again approached me. This time, as if she wanted to comfort me from her own words. "Namjoon and you, together, are a recipe for disaster." 

The silence that followed had never been so tormenting, the notion of not even knowing why was alarming. Why? Why when I wasn't even supposed to care? Namjoon represented everything I hated about this life; the secrets, the lies, the sexism, the violence. He was forbidden, just like my rightful place in the club. 

Why did I only want what I could not have?

Then, like the sick joke that was my life, the doors to the bar opened, and his presence came into the room. I didn’t have to even turn around to know, for certain, that it was him. I only ever felt this way when he was around.

"You should get out while you have the chance, sweetheart." Jaeeun whispered as she walked past me.

In a tunnel-like hearing, I could make out Namjoon and her greeting each other. She informed him that she was on her way out. The words they spoke faded in and out as I realized Jaeeun was giving me no time to contemplate. She would be leaving us alone, forcing me to make a decision right here, right now.

The doors closed, and I could feel it was just the two of us now.

Masterlist ≽

[bluepenguinstories]

Remoras Full Chapter IX: Poppy Fields Forever

It had been such a long journey. Constant doubts in my mind that I would ever find the place again. That with everything stacked against me, I would collapse, starve to death, or succumb to the elements, long before I would manage to make it back. My phone didn’t have power for days. Although there were lucky breaks that mitigated the distance, I didn’t find the chance to use it.

At first, I was relieved when I finally saw them. Saw her. But that all diminished once I caught wind of what they were doing.

“Fuck y’all!” I cupped my hands and yelled with as much strength as I could muster. It wasn’t much, but I did what I could.

They thought I was dead. For what’s worth, I should have been. I almost was. But even still, it pissed me off. They were all gathered around, so quick to call me a goner.

My movements were slow, but I was determined to make it to them. They were just a few steps away, and most of all, Remora was there. But to my surprise, the first one to approach me was the kid. She ran up and hugged me tight.

“You came back!” She shouted, relieved. At least, she sounded relieved. But I didn’t get it. Didn’t she just think of me as something to torment?

“Ow, ow, ow! What gives?” She just about knocked me off my feet. I already ached as it was, but her hug just made it worse. “I said I would, wouldn’t I?”

“I know! But nobody listened!” She whined.

Well, of course not, you’re a kid. But thanks. At least someone believed in me.

Someone else approached me. Some lady with dark brown hair in a long ponytail.

“There was a fire. I thought for sure…”

“Yeah!” I looked up at her, pointed at myself with my thumb. Someone had to set the record straight. “Because I set the fire!”

She looked taken aback. For whatever reason, the next thing she said was, “you’re alive…”

The mystery lady and Ray looked at each other in confusion. Why? Was it really so surprising? I didn’t have much time to ponder that, as the one I had kept in my thoughts approached me next. My heart skipped a beat.

“Good job,” she praised me. I couldn’t believe it. She actually praised me! I blinked, then my eyes went wide.

“That’s right. I’m really back, aren’t I?” I smiled, my hand on my chest. Oh gods, how it hurt to move, but the pain was enough proof.

Luckily for me, Remora hadn’t strayed far. I called out to her. My voice wasn’t as chipper as I intended it to be.

“Thank you,” I told her. Then I looked away. Down at the white soil. “But I took longer than a week, didn’t I?”

I vowed that I would return. That much was true. But I thought it would have been such an easy task. How wrong I was.

She walked back up to me. Still as beautiful as ever, she towered over me in such a marvelous way. Just as I remembered.

“You were the one who imposed such a deadline. I don’t think anyone else was concerned over that.”

“Maybe not, but you were also right. It was a trap. You were also right that you would have considered it a chore. I shouldn’t have gone.”

“Did you cleanse the house as the request stated?”

I blinked. “Er...yeah. In the sense that there’s no house left to cleanse. It was a hollow victory. So, as much as I want you to be proud of me, I have to face the facts.”

“It doesn’t matter. You could have told me you failed.”

“What?” I felt like I was getting mixed signals.

“The fact you have to face is this: people were worried about you. You made it back alive. So by that merit alone, good job.”

I wiped my eye. It itched. Or rather, I thought there were tears, but I felt none.

“Thank you,” I replied. I didn’t know why I couldn’t muster up many emotions. Maybe it had always been that way with me.

She started to walk away again, but I had one last thing to say.

“Even if the results weren’t great, I don’t regret it!”

“Oh?” She turned around.

“Even if it meant facing death, I would do it all over again! And I would make sure to do a better job!”

“That’s foolish,” she remarked.

“Maybe so, but I’m serious! More serious than last time! I’d risk my life several times over, all so I could see you again! And...And in hopes of being a better person in the process!”

I took a deep breath. Then, I asked her:

“Maybe this won’t mean much to you, but...can I tell you what happened?”

“Very well. I can do that much.” She returned. I was a little nervous to have her close to me, but I wouldn’t let it get to me.

The lady with the ponytail and tank-top (seriously, who would wear such a thing in the arctic?) came forward. “I think we would all like to hear about it.” Ray nodded to that. Even Tigershark huddled in.

Great. Now I have second thoughts about saying anything what with the kid and all.

But I did. I kept it short. I left out many details, both for their sake and mine. There were some things that were better left unknown. That said, I still remembered every little detail.

Our way out. The basement. I was so confident that the three of us would go through and make it out, even if it would be a tight squeeze.

However, those two had other ideas. They refused to budge, only shook their heads in frantic motions.

“Come on, we’re not going to get anywhere if we don’t at least try, right?”

“Um…” One of the Mel’s spoke up. The man Mel, I think. Goddamn, it was more confusing than I thought. It didn’t help that they were so identical and their voices were so similar.

“How about this?” I bargained. “I’ll go down and make sure it’s safe, then I’ll come back and let you guys know, okay?”

“But what if you don’t come back up?”

“You mean, like, if something bad happens to me?” My heart sank. I didn’t even want to consider the possibility.

“Or, what if nothing bad happens to you, but something bad happens to us while you’re down there?”

I put my hand on my chest. “I, Demetria, will do all in my power to keep the both of you safe. You have to trust me. I’m a professional.”

Again, professional at what, I didn’t have a clue. That was one detail I hoped they wouldn’t pry into.

Without further ado, I opened the basement door. In hindsight, I should have closed the door behind me. At the time, I thought it would be a good idea, since it was so dark down there, and the light from the house would help illuminate my way. I wasn’t thinking, big surprise.

Endless stairs, endless darkness. It soon became clear that I was in no simple basement. All around me was darkness. I looked back, but could no longer see the light of the house. In fact, the stairs under my feet seemed to disappear beneath me. It seemed like I was about to lose myself once again.

Just like in that dream.

In fact, although there was no light, the atmosphere changed. There was still no source of light, no way to tell if there was anything around me. That made no sense, since I couldn’t just walk on nothing, but at the same time, I couldn’t feel anything. Not even my own movements.

Remember. I am Demetria Root. I am here to impress Remora. Remora...Remora...Remember...I am Remora...no. That’s not right.

My eyesight was already poor as it was, and sure, I was wearing contacts, but being unable to see messed with me. Eventually, however, I caught a faint light off in the distance.

What should have come as a comfort offered no such thing. The ‘light’ in question was a series of small candles, lit in a row. But other than the glow, there was nothing to be seen.

This doesn’t bode well. I should have brought something with me to defend myself. I could have gone into the kitchen and grabbed a kitchen knife at the least. Oh well. No use crying over spoiled milk.

I followed the line of candles until the glow grew brighter, little by little, and off in the distance, the shadow of a figure emerged. That same cloaked figure that spoke to me in my dream.

I took a step back. “You!” I shouted. So, it seemed that mysterious dream figure existed after all.

Although still dark, I began to make out the walls that surrounded me, which resembled more of an underground cavern than basement walls. At the same time, a pungent stench filled the air. Just like the dream. The scent of rotting flesh. I pinched my nose.

“To think, I was so close to collecting you for the harvest, but you regained your sense of self.” The figure’s voice echoed.

So it wasn’t a dream. If that’s the case, then I really did avoid a fatal blow.

“Actually!” I pointed toward the one who identified as Cronus. “I didn’t! You just had really bad aim!”

“No matter. Your death could have been painless, but that can no longer happen.”

“Fine by me! I prefer a painful life over a painless death, anyway!”

The figure stepped forward. Rather than back away, I held my stance.

“Anemonefish, otherwise known as Clownfish, are a subfamily of the Pomacentridae family. Another subfamily in the Pomacentridae family are the damselfish,” I began to recite. “Ocellaris Clownfish, or Amphiprion Ocellaris, share a mutualistic relationship with sea anemone. The clownfish feeds off of bacteria that would otherwise harm the anemone and in turn, the anemone protects the clownfish by stinging potential predators.”

“What are you doing?” The figure interrupted.

“I’m! Uh! Intimidating you!”

“The only thing you’re doing is denying your own fear.”

“Wrong! The only thing I fear is tall, strong ladies who could lift me up! Crush me between their thighs! Tear me apart with their gaze alone!”

“Is that your weakness?”

“Yes! They make me weak!” I cried out with a passion. “But all pale in comparison to one in particular! She is the one who I keep in my heart! In my mind! And that is why...I will survive!”

Cronus continued to approach, but stopped midway, and crouched down. Once Cronus stood back up, the sickle I saw earlier came back into view.

I took a step back, only to trip over something on the floor. After I felt around and held up what had tripped me, I threw it aside and flinched. My heart raced. Beside me were a pile of bones. In a panic, I got to my feet and began to take short, heavy breaths.

“What...what the hell?”

I glanced back down. My eyes didn’t deceive me. But how? I didn’t notice them before. True, I couldn’t see much of anything a moment ago, but it was more than that. It wasn’t as if I had stepped over them before. So why?

As if to answer, a strong gust blew in front of me. I turned my head forward to see Cronus much closer than before. Bad news. Worse, there were vine-like things that shot forward behind Cronus. Tentacles were the first thing to come to mind, as if a giant octopus inhabited the space behind my pursuer, but that wasn’t quite it. The more I focused, the more it seemed like a sort of creature, or mechanism, that sought to imitate sea creatures.

Not like that of a squid or an octopus. Nor an anemone. Not vines. Not seaweed. Eels?

It seemed like a series of limbs which grew off of each other, creating endless multitudes with mouths at each end which fed off of each other.

“What is going on?” I asked the void once again.

Cronus turned to the left to pet whatever the thing was. Cronus’ head turned to me and stared with that same featureless mask.

“It will feast upon your mind. All the things that make up who you are, every little detail, will be integrated within it. Once you are empty, then it shall be my turn.”

“What are you talking about?”

“It is thanks to the lord before you that I am able to stand. Without it, I would have been a dead man. As thanks for its services, I have brought it to dwell here, where it feasts upon its surroundings. You mentioned sea anemone? We too share such a bond: It feasts upon one’s identity, and in turn, I am allowed to feast upon one’s physical being for sustenance.”

“You’re disgusting! Why would you do such a thing? For power? To feed some sick habit?”

Where do I get off being high and mighty? I don’t know, maybe because if I was overpowered and outmatched, I had nothing to lose by calling some sick fuck out.

“It is not for pleasure, but necessity. If I do not feed, I cease to be. Besides, I find great displeasure in doing this to you, as you were not the intended meal. No,” he corrected himself. “The intended target.”

“Then who was? Who could have been worth all this? And what did those others do to deserve such a thing? Huh?”

“Someone you wouldn’t know. Rhea Flection.”

That name. Why did everyone seem to know that mystery woman?

He continued. “She took my job from me. Took my very reason for being away from me. Murdered my co-workers in front of me and left me for dead. For that very reason, I wish to take her very being from her, and then devour every last bit of her. I will dive into the depths of depravity in order to achieve such a thing.”

“I get that you’re mad, but she’s not worth it! Besides, she’s already dead!”

Remora warned me about her. Saying how she wasn’t someone I’d want to associate myself with. I think I can see that, now.

“Is that so?” He asked.

“Yeah! I heard about her! Someone who worked with her said she’s dead, so she must be dead!”

“Interesting, here I thought I could lure her here, but instead, you took the bait.”

“That’s right.”

Could I actually reason with this guy? I wasn’t sure. He was already willing to kill and eat others. Innocent lives, at that. What made me any different?

“I may have taken the bait, but I’m no easy catch!” I declared.

He laughed a most hollow laughed. It didn’t even seem to come from him, but instead an outside source. But the head bobbed up and down, as if to signify that it was him.

“Such confidence. Even if she is gone, the lord will not disappear. You will be taken.”

The multiples of limbs shot out and wrapped themselves around my waist. More and more formed and tangled. I tried to struggle and break free, but felt myself being dragged.

“What do you hope to accomplish with this?”

“Nothing anymore. If what you say is true, then there is nothing to accomplish. This is its will now.”

As I was dragged, I noticed the candles still on the ground. One was close enough to me that I managed to reach over to it with my leg and kick it Cronus’ way. Sure enough, his cloak caught fire. He tried to stamp it out, to no avail. It continued to spread. Even still, the creature (if it could even be called that) didn’t loosen its grip. I drew ever closer to it, with no hope of breaking free.

There is nothing to fear, a voice pervaded my thoughts. I could tell it wasn’t one of my own. You will continue to live on, inside me. I can grant you all the knowledge you desire. All you have to do is become a part of me. Anything you desire, I can give to you.

Ha. How wrong such a monstrosity could be. For as great of a power as it had, it couldn’t understand me one bit.

But I can. You desire knowledge of marine life. Every last bit, until you know all there is on the subject. More than that. I can bestow upon you all the secrets of the universe.

“I don’t want to know everything! I only want to know what I’m interested in and that is something you can’t give me!”

I continued to kick about. Its mouth, more like a maw, was in full view, a giant pit of teeth, glass, various metals, and other unidentifiable things. As I drew closer, I felt my shoes collide with some of the bones on the floor. That gave me an idea: I clasped my legs together and managed to catch one. Then, I kicked both legs upward, and released. Sure enough, the bone launched into the air.

I’m about to do something disgusting, I thought, but without any other options, I went ahead with it: I leaned my head forward and with a stroke of luck, bit down on the bone. Once I managed to catch it in my mouth, I felt like gagging.

Nothing new. The stench of death has been making me want to gag this whole time.

I slammed my head down and the bone, with a jagged edge at its end, tore through parts of the things that had its grip on me. Cries of pain shot out.

Its grip loosened and I tore my arms free and ran off.

My victory seemed short lived. The stairs were still nowhere to be seen.

There is nothing you can do. You will lose yourself within me.

“Even if that’s the case, that’s all you can do! You can take my sense of self, my identity, everything about me, but you can’t take my passion! You can give me all the knowledge in the world, but it won’t mean anything to me if I don’t want to know it!”

Then you will lose that passion.

“Maybe, but if I do, then you get nothing! And even if you were to give me knowledge on the things I was passionate about, I wouldn’t accept it because I’m not interested in being given knowledge. I want to learn for myself! That’s what I desire! I threw away my passion for marine life in favor of something, no, someone I know nothing about! But that someone is who I’m passionate about and I want to know more about her! I want to know whether there’s a chance with her, and even if there isn’t, I would rather know that on my own than just being given her!”

You would take such a risk.

“Damn right! Even if it hurts me, I don’t want to know the answer unless I can experience it for myself!”

You will eat those words.

“And you will eat this candle!” I picked one up and threw the lit candle its way. I knew it would do little, but I needed some kind of distraction. As soon as I did so, I ran for it.

Soon, the stairs came back into view.

But leave it to clumsy me to trip over nothing. Not even a rock.

Just as I was about to get back up, I felt the same myriad of things wrap around my ankle. When I looked behind me, I saw the Cronus in the distance. He must have taken quick care of the flame. In a desperate attempt, I grabbed onto the wooden planks that held up the railing and dragged myself up.

Likewise, I managed to kick myself free. For having such a grip, the thing itself was quite fragile. Either that, or the distance was too much pressure for the being to exert itself. In any case, I crawled up the stairs like a dog and once I made it up, slammed the door shut.

Both Mel twins stared at me. We both stared at each other for a solid minute until I broke the silence.

“We’re not going down there.”

“What? Why not?”

“Because…” I didn’t want to tell them what I encountered. “It’s so musty and I think I saw black mold covering the walls. Total safety hazard. Plus, there were, like, hermit crabs.”

“Hermit crabs?”

“Err...well…”

“Is that what’s got you so scared?”

“I’m not scared!”

“Then why are you hyperventilating?”

I put my hands over my chest. All that time, I didn’t realize how frightened I really was.

“Never mind that right now. I’m the adult here and I say we find some other means of escape.”

“We’re adults too!”

Tch. They had a point.

Just as we were about to turn the corner, the door to the basement burst open and I watched the cloaked figure lunge at one of them. One of the Mel twins was right beside me. “Go,” I whispered.

That proved useless. Every action proved useless.

“No!” I yelled.

“Brother!” The Mel beside me cried out.

“Get away from him!” I ran forward, and I tried to pry Cronus off, but I could only manage a couple steps forward before he held one arm up. From his sleeve, vines shot forward and sent me flying back outside of the hallway until I crashed into a wooden chair.

Pain meant nothing in the moment; I picked myself back up and ran toward Melvin. Once I got closer, however, I stopped in my tracks.

Cronus’ mask had been lifted up and chunks of flesh were being ripped and bitten off of. Already I could tell that it was too late for Melvin; his neck had been sliced open, presumably with the sickle. I watched Cronus lean up and suck the blood from his severed neck.

It’s already too late. I told both of them that I would keep them safe and one has already been killed. I can’t bring him back. I can’t.

No matter the case, I tried. I kicked the kneeling Cronus, but all my effort proved futile. He remained fixed on the corpse.

Where is the other Mel? Melissa?

She turned out to be at the end of the hall, near the chair where I had landed against. While the cloaked cannibal remained fixated on his prey, I took the opportunity to run toward her and found that she was in tears.

“I get it. I failed. You were probably close with your brother, and now he’s gone. I told you I would do all in my power to protect the both of you, but it hasn’t worked out that way. I can’t promise anything, I’m not even a professional, but I’m telling you now, if there’s even a chance that we can make it out, we have to take it.”

“But –”

“I know! As it stands, we’re almost certainly going to die, but neither of us are dead yet! Even if it’s hopeless, I’ll do whatever I can to keep us safe! Now run!”

She ran out into the main hall, toward the kitchen. As I looked up, I noticed Cronus start to get up and he lifted his sickle.

I don’t know if I can outrun you. I know you can overpower me. But, even with all that in mind…

I took the chair and threw it his way, then ran toward the main hall. Next to the staircase was the suit of armor, its pieces all lying on the floor. Beside it, the sword.

That thing will still be too heavy to pick up. But it’s the only idea I have at the moment.

“Won’t you come play?” That voice echoed, but I knew it wasn’t Melissa’s. No, Cronus came into view, one hand raised, rotted, and shaped like a mouth. Such a farce, either to strike fear or to mock that which he killed.

“Being eaten alive is not my kind of fun,” I rasped, then spit on the ground beside me.

Chunk after chunk of the broken armor, I took and threw at him. All to no avail. None of them halted his movements. But even still, thanks to that, I was able to slow him down, keep him from running toward me. With that extra little bit of time, I took the sword and put all my might into just lifting it up at all.

It floated over my head, but still proved too heavy. Without a good center of balance, it was left to fall back down, even with me holding tight to it. At least I caught a lucky break and the swing down happened just as he approached and was about to swing his sickle.

The gap was too wide: neither he nor I got hit with the others’ weapon, but I still managed to take advantage of the situation by letting go of the sword, then grabbed onto his sickle.

His grip was still tight, and he stood at least a foot taller than me, but none of those facts seemed to matter. I pulled myself up with my own grip, then headbutted him. That took him by surprise and sent him back. Likewise, I fell back in great pain.

“Ow, ow, ow.” I rubbed my head. Between us was the dropped sickle. He tried to grab it first, but I ducked under him, then grabbed it for myself. Adrenaline rushed through me. I took the shaft between my hands and broke off a piece with my knee, something which I knew would hurt later, if I managed to make it out alive.

“There. Lighter to use. More my size.”

He shot forth vines from his hands, but I slice through them.

“You know what? I can’t make any excuses for what she did, but if I knew you were going to turn out this way, I’d have killed you as well.” Those words startled me, but I was too horrified and filled with anger to take any of it back.

He growled.

From his hands, vines, tentacles, what even looked to be snakes, grew and formed together to make a new sickle.

“I am the harvester. I will harvest all life within these confines. That is my duty,” his voice remained calm.

“You may call yourself the harvester, but I am Demetria. I was named after the goddess of the harvest. Which means, if I so choose, all your crops, all your efforts, will spoil.”

Such a stupid line. But oh, so badass. If I die, at least let me have that one line. Please.

“I see. Then I will remember that name.”

He sliced forward, but I managed to block it with the one I had acquired. I held on as tight as I could, but it was clear he still held more power. In fact, he boasted as such.

“You spoke with such confidence, but you are still so weak.”

“That may be true…” I struggled.

Vines grew out from the makeshift sickle, as if to show me that there was no escape. That it would take me by any means. I freed up one hand, and took a step back. Still, it cut through one of my hands. Not enough to tear it off, but enough to make me bleed out.

It stung, but in the heat of the moment, I did not falter. Instead, I grabbed the matchbook from out of my pocket and struck a match.

“...But you are flammable,” I shot back, then applied the match to the myriad of plant life and other organisms.

At once, the flame spread and reached up his arm, soon surrounding his entire cloak. He tried to brush it off, to no avail.

Although acting in self-defense, it still horrified me to watch as the flames engulfed him, then, he dropped to the floor.

I can’t believe I did that.

Such a short-lived victory. At once, I was relieved, until I remembered that I let one person get killed, and there was still another that I vowed to protect. More than that, the two of us were still stuck in the mansion, with that creature down in the basement.

Broken from the spell of the flame, I hurried into the kitchen.

“Mel!” I called. “Melissa!”

Out from one of the cupboards under the sink, she poked her head out.

“Is it safe?” She asked.

“No,” I shook my head. “As long as we’re in here, it’s not going to be safe. But he’s gone now. That’s one less problem to worry about.”

“So is my brother…”

“I’m sorry. I –”

“No one believed that we would survive into adulthood. Our parents left us behind. We had to find jobs, but few would hire us. We took jobs at haunted houses in amusement parks, but it felt so degrading. Despite all that, we persisted, and managed to save enough money to find a home. We lived together. Ate together. Watched TV together. We did everything together. Without him, I feel so lost. Like I lost who I am.”

The floor beneath us shook.

“No,” I pleaded. “You’re still someone. It may take some time to move on, but you can! We just have to make it out alive!”

Those words felt so hollow. There I was, someone who had abandoned an identity I had built up my whole life in order to experience something new. It was frightening, awful, but at the same time, amazing. With every word I could muster, I wanted her to experience that as well.

She crawled out and stood next to me.

I let out a sigh of relief. Such relief didn’t last.

“Who am I?” She asked, and the moment she did so, she collapsed onto the floor.

“Please! Get up! We still have a chance!”

Before I could utter another word, the floor collapsed underneath her. I reached out my hand as she fell and caught her, but just as I did so, thousands of little wires wrapped themselves around her and dragged her down. Instead of dragging me along with her, the wires instead pulled her away and loosened the grip that I had on her. Once she fell, the floor closed back up.

I screamed out in frustration, stomped my foot, all to no avail. Right when things began to turn around, I lost her. Both of them, gone. Just like that. It was as if the whole house was toying with me. As if it held up a treat, and as soon as I reached for it, the treat was yanked away.

Right. The whole house. It’s just a part of that creature. As long as I remain in here, I’m as good as food to it.

Then, that familiar voice, appeared once more in my head. Look at you, it spoke. On the brink of despair. Losing everything. Your sense of purpose. Those you care about. Your reason for living. You may see none of those again. It was the same for him. As he lay on the brink of death, with hate in his mind for the one who left him and his colleagues for dead, he reached out, and I gave him all the knowledge he would need. In exchange, I made him a part of me. Thus, the same will happen with you. What will be left, once you have become digested?

My breaths grew shorter, louder, once more. I recognized them. Anger. Frustration. Loss. Confusion. All of those were tools to chisel away at me.

“You don’t learn, do you?” I yelled out. “What will be left of me? I’ll tell you: just try. I’ll give you indigestion.”

As I was about to leave the kitchen in search of a means of escape, I spotted something out of the corner of my eye: the cupboard door, still open and something red inside. I crouched down and found a container of gasoline.

“Well, if I can’t find an exit, I’ll have to make one.”

I made my way across each room, dousing the carpet, the curtains, every piece of furniture with gasoline. Soon trails were made, all leading to the hallway where the door to the basement lay.

Just to be safe, I shook the container. Liquid sloshed around.

Good. I’ll need every last drop.

Hesitant, I struck a match. It took me a few tries, but once it produced a flame, I knew what I was going to do.

“I hope this works. What better way to cleanse a place than to set it ablaze?” Whatever levity I meant by such a statement, it didn’t bring me any joy. No matter how I looked at it, others still lost their lives over the course of the night. If I knew better on what to do, if I had come more prepared, I could have tried to defeat such an unknown threat through other means. As far as I knew, the mansion had once belonged to someone. Whether said someone was good or bad, I couldn’t say, but it could have been repurposed. There were an infinite amount of possibilities.

But as things stood, there was only one known option available. So, I let go; opened the door and let the match do the rest of the work for me.

Down the stairs once more. Whether I would lose myself to the entity or not, I couldn’t say. But, if by some chance, I could spare others from such a fate, I would take that risk.

What are you doing? It spoke to me once more.

Giving you heartburn. What does it look like?

You will burn yourself along with it, was its reply.

I shook my head. I know. I was warned. Burns can heal. The dead can’t.

Once I made my way down the stairs, I tossed a bit more of the sinister liquid at the wooden planks.

Are you so willing to prevent your own escape? It asked. The voice was louder, more pronounced. In pain.

If I cannot escape, I’d at least like to see you survive.

Rather than an endless expanse of darkness, I was instead in a rather small room. There was a faint glow behind me, an orange glow produced from what I could only presume to be the house being burnt down. Not far from me, I could view a hatch. There was just the issue of the creature in front of me: much smaller in scale than the previous incomprehensible incarnation. The one before me just looked like a pile of garbage.

Got anything to say?

Rather than some ungodly remark, all I got in response were gasps and wheezes which played out in my mind. They could have been mine. But I could still think. I let out a breath. Maybe a little hoarse, but still mine.

More coughs. Like its mouth was covered in smoke.

Well, of course it is.

I climbed on top of some boxes and pushed the hatch open, then crawled out. Just as I could taste the crisp night air, I felt myself being pulled back in.

Don’t leave me, it wheezed.

One more match. That was all I had. I wasn’t about to wait for the flames when I needed to get a move on. So I struck the match, then dropped it down.

“Sorry. I’m not interested in you.”

Screams erupted in my mind and I could feel blood drip out of my ears. It was such a painful, awful scream. But my actions could not be undone. Nor would I have wanted them to be. It released its grip, as if it had any choice, and I stood up, then walked away from the scene and into the forest.

Once I passed through the opening in the barbed wire fence, I felt well and truly outside.

I gave a last look back at the house as it burned away. Stacks of smoke filled the night air. At last, the job was complete.

“Consider this place cleansed,” I muttered.

If only the path forward was more clear. My phone still had no signal. Worse for wear, I never knew the exact location of the diner which I had lived for the past few months. Luck would have to be on my side, and I just wasn’t sure if it would be.

The next morning, I found myself in that same city which I had arrived in when Cybele had dropped me off. Likewise, I found the same church. I crept inside and found the robed priest who greeted me just a few nights ago.

“Hi, it’s me,” I greeted. My voice as weak as the night before. Blame it on the lack of sleep.

“Oh, why hello.”

I sat at one of the pews and leaned my head back.

“You were right. You were also wrong.”

“Oh?”

“It was a horrible thing, but ‘spirit’ doesn’t really fit what was there. Likewise, it was more than evil. But it still wasn’t something I could consider less than evil at the same time.”

“So, you went?”

“Uh-huh.”

“And you lived. Amazing.”

“Yeah. Amazing,” that statement felt like such a farce.

“You don’t look so good,” he pointed out. I turned my head and let slip a smile.

“Have I ever?” Burn marks and bruises. Cuts. Sore all over. Yeah. I’ve had better days.

“What do you plan to do now?”

I closed my eyes. “I don’t know. I want to make it back home, but I don’t know how to get there...and yes, before you say anything, I’m not talking metaphorically.”

“You don’t know your own address?”

“I never bothered to check. Rather funny, now that I think of it.”

“So tell me: was it worth the risk?”

I thought it over. I didn’t have the same energy I did when I first arrived. But all things considered, if I had to give an answer…

“We’ll see,” I replied. “It wasn’t as great of a success as I thought it would be, but all the same, it’s done. The place is cleansed.”

My thoughts slipped past me as I drifted off to sleep. After I took my nap, I departed.

Fast-forward several days and I stood next to my grave, among the ones I lived with.

Much of the details I had decided to leave out. For one, I stopped the story as soon as I exited the house. I also left out any mention of the twins who I failed to save. Basically, I told them that the whole request was a ruse in order to lure people there and once there, a strange monster would cause those people to lose their sense of self and a cannibal man would come out and devour them.

“But it didn’t get me,” I concluded. “It said that my head was empty. That must mean that I was too smart for it.”

Yeah. Okay. That may have been an embellishment.

“How did you figure out how to get back here?” The woman in the ponytail asked.

I shrugged. “That was actually the easy part. I just went around each motel in the area and asked if someone named ‘Cybele’ had checked in a few days ago. Finally, when I found a match, I did some digging online, and found the address to the airport. Still, it was a damn long walk. I thought I’d die on the way up here.”

“You walked all the way here?!” She sounded shocked.

“What else was I supposed to do?” I retorted.

Ray laughed. “In any case, we’re glad to have you back.”

The woman beside him nodded. “And I’m glad to finally meet you!” She held out her hand. “My name is Sunny!”

Oh. It clicked.

“Ray’s wife,” I came to the sudden realization. “He always tries to show me pictures of you, but I refuse, so that’s why I never knew what you looked like.”

Sunny blinked before bursting out in laughter. Ray joined her and the two held each other. I thought I was going to be sick.

“That was a weird story!” Tigershark shared her input. Because of course she did. “You should have at least included one penguin!”

“Sure,” I shrugged. “There was a penguin in the house and it helped me escape.”

“Much better!”

Why does everything need to be penguins?

“Hey,” I turned to Sunny. “Can I see the stone you used to write my name on that grave?”

“Oh. Sure thing.”

She handed it to me. I walked up to the grave and crouched down, then crossed down my name. In its place, I wrote down “Mel + Mel”.

There were no matches left. But I found some poppy flowers along my journey home. I took them out and placed them next to the grave.

“Mel and Mel?” Sunny asked.

“Just a couple of people I met on the way here. As for the flowers, I hear they’re a symbol of remembrance. Best I can do.”

“That’s rather sweet,” she remarked. I shrugged in response.

“Seems pointless to let the gravestone go to waste, that’s all.”

We were all about to head back inside, but I was stopped in my tracks. Remora turned around, holding a small gun.

“Answer me: are you who you claim to be?”

I gulped. “I’m not gonna lie, this is kinda turning me on right now.”

“Remora, what is this about?” Ray asked, shocked.

“What she just described was a cosmic entity. There are no true ways to kill them and once they are introduced somewhere, it’s almost impossible to get them to leave. Not only that, but considering she had been exposed to it, she could be infected.”

“Eep!” I panicked. “The only thing I want infecting me are the thoughts of you!”

In the background, I could hear Sunny whisper, “aww.”

Remora pulled out a device. “This should tell me whether or not you have been infected.”

I closed my eyes. “Do what you gotta do. If I die here, I’m at least glad I got to see you one last time.”

The seconds ticked by. Then, she spoke:

“Clear.”

I opened my eyes. “So...I’m not dead?”

“There are no signs of the entity. Still, it bothers me.”

“Why?”

“That someone would face a cosmic entity and live, it’s unheard of.”

“Heh,” I smirked. “Looks like I’m more badass than you thought.”

“Unheard of. Not impossible.”

Well, that didn’t matter. I was still going to bring up that feat any chance I got. After I gave one last look back at the stone, I followed everyone back in the diner. It was too early to say if I was glad to be back, seeing as the general vibe was too high energy for me, but maybe now that Remora saw how cool I could be, she’d at least let me fall asleep in her lap once or twice.

It took a few days to settle back in. I had to be slow in my meal intake, seeing as I went so long on so little food. Showers felt like the best thing in the world and I never wanted to leave once in. All the running around that both Tigershark and Sunny did was...a lot. But after a while, things returned to normal. As normal as they could get around there, anyway.

Speaking of Tigershark, she tried her usual antics. I was prepared that time. At about six in the morning, she came running down the halls, she tried opening my door. Of course, it was locked. Also, of course, she made a lockpick out of someone’s stolen hair clips. So, of course, she got in. But right as she was about to slam her hands down on my bed, I jumped up and roared. She yelled and ran out of the room. Then, I went back to sleep.

Once I woke up proper, I ate a nice bowl of oatmeal and sliced strawberries. Sunny came by and used my shoulder as a prop to lean over.

“Good morning!” She greeted.

“Please get off of me,” I groaned.

“Aw, you’re no fun.” She took to the seat next to me. “Say, I had a great idea. Since it turns out you can actually hold your own pretty well, I wanted to see you in action.”

I gulped. “I...uh...don’t really have anything to show…”

“Well, indulge me. Even though we decided to continue on with the requests, we’re also all taking a bit of a break from them. Besides, I’m still not sure if you’re ready. So let’s say you and I go on an adventure, huh?”

I waved my hand away. “No thanks. I only do things like that if Remora’s going to notice me.”

She perked up. That just made me more nervous. “Even better! We can talk about all these feelings you have. It’ll be like a girl’s night out!”

Oh, come on! Was I that obvious?

“I don’t know...I’m more of an introvert.”

“I’ll get you anything you want if you’ll go with me.”

I thought about it between bites of oatmeal. Then, something clicked.

“How about a field guide book of the fish in the area?”

“Deal.”

Only a few days of respite, and I was already about to go off again. At least I was confident that I could take on anything, so long as I thought of big muscled women.

[themasterofcider]

Reasons to Ship Markus & North (Marth/Norkus) 03.2

They’re Attached at the Hip (CONT)

The aftermath of the march sees the Jericho advisors giving council to Markus about what happened. When Robo Jesus makes his decision on their next move two of the four leave the room. North and Markus are once again alone. This gives him a chance to let his guard down and confess what's really on his mind. Something he doesn't do when the whole squad is in the room. He's more leader-like when they're together. With North, he is less so. In relaxing himself he becomes more ordinary, more human. He has to really feel safe around her to do this. North gives him comfort and validation by attesting that it didn't matter what he did or what the outcome was. It gave everyone - including her - hope. We know this woman isn't one to mince her words or say things just to appease people. She believes in him with everything she has. There's some talk about a bomb, but that quickly shifts into another tender moment between the two. North admits that she's happy they met. It's not surprising. She's been by his side since he got to Jericho, and she's still there. If that wasn't enough they do their memory sharing hand touch. Notice this time North doesn't seem anxious and stays right with him. She's obviously liked him for a while, but this is a testament to how much more comfortable she is around Markus now. She trusts him and is okay with trusting him. As well as him knowing her most intimate memories. This is relationship growth. He goes in to kiss her, (IF YOU DIDN'T KISS MY QUEEN YOU ARE A HERETIC) and she stays there perfectly content with him. Given her background this is really important. Especially if you had kissed her earlier and pissed her off. She goes from not wanting you to touch her again to forgiving you and being comfortable kissing you. I'm pointing this out for the sake of people who say this relationship was static and forced. Those opinions are inaccurate. Somehow North manages to pull herself away from Markus to let him do leader things, but not before turning back and letting him know she doesn't want to lose him. Based on body language it seems like she doesn't really want to leave his side. She's worried about what could happen if she's not there with him, but she tears away to get back to doing whatever being a war leader entails.

Then the ship gets attacked. During the chaos Markus runs into (of course) North first. He gives his commands, tells everyone his plan, and the group breaks apart. Markus goes his own way, while North and Connor go the other. Not without North hesitating, clearly worried about what may happen to Markus. When the five (Markus, Connor, North, Simon, and Josh) regroup North gets shot and falls. Markus rushes in to save her, and the two take out the soldiers immediately behind them. Then he uses himself as a crutch to get her away from danger while Connor protects them. After this everyone jumps to safety.

Now we're in the church. It's not a particularly long scene, but it's very sweet. Markus goes around to check on all of his friends, who agree to support him no matter what. When he approaches North he asks if she's okay. Like he's done before. They talk about everything from why he saved her to the situation with the rest of their people, and North admits that she loves him. He doesn't verbalize it, but he holds her hand and uses their connection to (what I believe) express to same thing. There's a lot of good body language between the two in the latter half of the game. It may seem weird to examine people that don't technically exist, but you have to think of the devs. They didn't make these characters stand or turn for no reason. There has to have been a purpose to it. That's why I think it's worth mentioning.

From here on is the conclusion of the game. There are so many ways this can go, and forgetting to push a button can totally change the outcome. I'm going to do my best to cover the ending and get all the major points. I'll probably miss some details, since I've never been truly pacifist and never screwed up bad enough to botch the revolution entirely. Let's get to it.

During the successful revolution route we begin with Markus leading the charge to liberate his people from a concentration camp. Taking out the first few soldiers, he jabs his flag down before making a brief pause. We see him steal a glance back at North, who is just a few steps from flanking him. Bear in mind, Simon and Josh are both still alive at this point, and neither of them are chosen to stand near Markus. It's North and some random android. They do join his side later, but the obvious intention is to give his relationship with North priority. She's also the only one of the three advisors to speak before the second attack. A line that Markus parrots back, mind you. The big four lead the charge, then swiftly duck behind a barrier to protect themselves from a flurry of gunfire. North is naturally to Markus' left. It's cute, but kinda funny at this point. They're in the middle of battle and they have to be near each other. If they weren't such good leaders I'd hope someone reminded them that they can't always keep fighting like they're glued together. Not that I'd mind as a shipper, but this is a war now. The battle wages on, and I unfortunately lose Simon and Josh at this point. (As a side note is there any way to not get the shit shot out of Josh in the revolution ending? I feel like I saved Simon my first playthrough, but Josh always dies.) Meaning he has no choice but to regroup with North now. I'm hoping this doesn't weaken any future points. Using a (I think) rocket launcher Markus ends the clash, and North approaches him happy that her people are free. In the meantime, Connor has liberated the androids from the Cyberlife tower and rejoined Markus. North is standing behind him. Our lord and android savior steps forward to examine his new charges, and North walks closer once again talking about freedom. She then says that the others want him to speak to them, but he doesn't do that right away. In one of those rare moments where he prioritizes his own emotional needs first, he focuses on North. He connects their hands, takes his lady in his arms, kisses her, and doesn't let her go. He then makes a speech with North standing behind him smiling brighter than she ever has before.

 I know the next few pictures aren't from the scenes I'm talking about, but I don't have gameplay of those. Enjoy the random Marth/Norkus moments!

The successful protest ending sees the androids marching towards the camp. Markus is once again in the lead with his advisors flanking him. North is directly at his side again. Even when the humans surround them with tanks she refuses to move. The humans shoot as they  approach, but Markus persuades them to hold off for a moment. During this respite North talks to him about what to do. This is a conversation that could've been given to one of the other generals, but the writers saw fit to have North be the one to talk about it with him. As I've mentioned before, we really need to look closer at these moments where the devs could have chosen someone else but stuck with North. It's pretty telling who they were trying to get you to want him to be with. Going on, team Markus has built a barricade to protect themselves from the humans. Once they're done he confides in North about the hollowness of the situation, and she is right there to lend her support once again. North tells him she - and everyone else - trust him, because he's their hope. This is a really nice moment as we know North would rather be fighting instead of marching. She doesn't jeer at him for not doing it her way as he wonders if this was the best choice. She wants him to stick to his convictions even if they're different from hers, because she believes in him and wants to give him confidence. How many times have you seen either friends or couples argue with each other because one of the parties didn't do something the way the other wanted when they (1) voiced their doubts about it or (2) it didn't turn out well. North doesn't go "well this wouldn't have happened if you did it my way." She, as the selfless, good girlfriend she is would never do that to him. She's completely supportive and totally on his side. Briefly touching back on trust, North has to trust this man completely to even attempt this. She is helping her people in a way that definitely isn't her first choice with a high chance that the humans (the species that assaulted her) will kill her without her truly fighting back. Knowing where she came from, this is a major deal. She trusts that under Markus' leadership the androids will win. From behind the barricade North sees Perkins approach, and she calls Markus over. Stepping forward he (yet again) is beside North to see what's going on. He offers a chance at negotiation. Should you accept, Perkins and Markus talk about what will happen to his people. Seeing his initial offer not working, Perkins sweetens the deal. He uses North as leverage. Not Simon, not Josh, not even Markus himself. This man, who doesn't believe androids are equal to humans and who probably doubts that they have feelings is able to pick up on the fact that Marth/Norkus have a connection. That's impressive. When I first saw North I thought she was pretty and jokingly hoped that Markus could get with her, but never expected it to actually happen. The point is what took me several scenes to imagine the possibility of took Perkins two. In the game's universe these two must be even more painfully obvious than even us shippers assume. The special agent uses North's life and her safety as a way to goad the android leader into surrendering. We all know North wouldn't want him to take that deal, and I don't think Markus would take it either. That being said I believe Jesus Bot would at least consider it, and it's pretty obvious he does. From the way he looks down, to the camera focusing on North gazing worriedly, to getting the option in the first place. Even when we look back to earlier in the game such as the vandalism in the park and during the Jericho attack we see instances of Markus prioritizing North above some of his people. There's a lot of emphasis in the fandom on how Markus' death influences the revolution, but not about the power of North's life. To steal a quote from Outlast 2 "they always hurt women to punish men." It's very fitting here. I'll be honest when I say the ending of this game isn't really my favorite thing in the world, but I'll give it some credit after writing this. There's pretty good character depth here as well as plenty of motivation to ponder. Should you deny the offer, or refuse to speak the agent orders the humans to  attack and back the androids into a corner. You have several options here. They are to kiss North (the correct one), use the dirty bomb, sacrifice yourself, or sing. I'm going to omit two of them as I don't count sacrifice as a success (also since Markus is dead he can't be in the same scene as North), and that I don't believe the nuclear Ending has any moments between them, but I could be wrong. If you sing, North (who is beside you AGAIN) is the first to join in. Markus turns and gives her a little smile, and she looks at him hopefully as the other androids add their voices to the night. Finally we have the kiss. With death staring them in the face, Markus decides to take the chance to kiss North for what may be the last time. If God Droid is to die he's gonna get some love from his woman before he goes, and I'd do the same thing. They even do their signature hand touch. It's so damn adorable. The last thing they want to do in their life is share memories of their pasts and each other. Luckily this is the successful route, and they get to live on for their people. The ending to this and the revolution are very similar, just some different words.

If you are unsuccessful the outcomes are extremely painful. Should you accept Perkins' offer of surrender, you get to see the other androids rounded up while Marth/Norkus watch on. North is clearly experiencing disappointment, fury, sadness, and confusion. So much so that she won't even let Markus touch her. From what she says I don't think she even knew why he made that choice. If she found out I can imagine she'd be even more enraged than she was. We know she doesn't value herself more than her people. She wouldn't ever forgive Markus for doing something like this. Thinking about it now, this is as much a break up scene as it is a defeat. The reason this is important is that it goes back to the previous paragraph about the weight of North's life to Markus and the fact that the devs put so much importance on this relationship that we don't even get to see a reaction from Markus' other friends beyond their relationship meters tanking. Of course Perkins was a lying shithead and kills them. Meaning they died as angry, purposeless casualties. For the failed revolution, Markus gets wounded. Seeing this, North's first reaction is to offer her heart. We have to decide if we want to let him die, or if we want to sacrifice North to save him. If you, the player choose to die they press their palms together, Markus tells North he loves her, and they have a final kiss. She cries and closes his eyes. I've said it before, but I think it'd be extremely out of character for him to ask her to die, thus enabling him to live. The game even proves this, since he gets killed immediately after. I like that. The narrative itself is telling you not to be a selfish coward, and that North is an important character. Likewise I see the reverse being true as well. Though if you do choose to sacrifice North, they do their memory sharing touch, North says her heart is beating inside his chest, they kiss, and she shuts down. Like she does to him, he closes her eyes and lays her body down. It sucks to see our heroes fall, but in a weird way it's beautiful too. These characters love each other so much they'll die for each without a second thought. Even the script is perfectly written here to make you feel every single emotion. I know Simon gets this scene too, but only if North is dead. That in itself is pretty telling.

Whew! It's finally done. That took me a while, but I'm pretty happy with it. This post deviated (heh heh) in some spots from just mentioning the moments they were together to analyzing them, though I don't think that's a bad thing. Doing this reaffirmed my opinion that they are the best romantic options for each other, but you don't have to agree. I just found it fascinating how many moments they actually had. Not just that, but the sheer amount you can actually talk about insane. It's crazy how much time and subtlety this couple actually had. At some points I dare say I wished they had less, because there was so much to write. I was also left wondering how they weren't tired of being around each other. I know it had only been a few days, but they spent damn near every minute together. These two have to be beyond close (which they are) to not be sick of all the interaction. I know I would be, but I'm definitely a person who likes their alone time. Unless it's just an android thing, but I highly doubt that. The writing for these two isn't perfect, but it's not as bad as a lot of people make it out to be. I do think all the Jericho advisors should've been romance options as Markus was the only character to have an arc this focused on that type of relationship. I even wish some parts about Marth/Norkus were smoothed out, and more discussions had before they became an actual couple, but they're not the worst written pairing in existence. Far from it. Ship who you want, but don't act like this couple got no substance or time, as that's blatantly untrue.

[littledarlinwrites]

My Redemption Chapter 3

JokerxReader Word count: 1778 Author’s Note: I think I kept ya’ll waiting long enough. Reminder this is a not a beta’d ficlet so bare with me on mistakes, I’m tired, sleep deprived, and haven’t wrote in a while so I’m shaking the dust off. Enjoy!

Previously on: Ch 1 Ch 2

“All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy. That is how far the world is from where I am. One. Bad. Day.”

When I awoke the next day, I was well rested physically but my mind was more tired than when I fell asleep. I still couldn’t grasp how J and Joker were the same person, and I wasn’t quite sure I wanted to find out. I came to Gotham to get away from my screwed-up life and start anew, not get twisted up with a psychotic clown who obviously has a past. It was way too early for all this before coffee I thought to myself and decided to get up. I lazily made my way to the kitchen to make my morning brew, the aroma filling every inch of space in my relatively empty apartment. I grab my coffee cup and fill it before walking towards the window and waiting for the scalding liquid to cool so I could drink it and wake up more. I could see the late afternoon traffic making its way through downtown Gotham and all the people making their way to their next destination. I stared out my window without particularly looking at anything. Eventually my coffee became lukewarm, I shook my mind out of the fog it seemed to be lost in and began to drink it. Thoughts of J were tangled within my mind, unfortunately thoughts of this Joker character were also.

Frustrated, I decided that maybe a shower would wake me up a bit and hopefully calm my thoughts. Either way it was needed in order to get ready for work tonight. I sang along to some of my favorite songs of the nineties as I showered, my thoughts never calmed though. I got ready for work pulling on some ripped jeans, a tank top, and an old faded band t-shirt. I laced up my converse, pulled on my leather jacket, and said a silent prayer for work to go by uneventfully fast as I walked out the door.

Barely an hour into my shift and I can already tell it’s going to be a long night. The bar is more busy than usual and filled with demanding customers. The bar hasn’t been this loud or filled in the three months I’ve worked here. It also hasn’t been filled with such rude, skeevy guys either. I’m used to the awkward but harmless flirting, but the guys here tonight made me feel like I was constantly being undressed by someone’s stare.

Closer to closing time I shouted for last call and after waiting on the last guy I started wiping down the bar.

“Long night?” I heard called out from the other end of the bar.

“You could say that.” I replied while taking a glimpse at the time, “if you want anything to drink speak now or forever hold your peace for the night.” I add before making my way down to him.

“I’ll take glass of scotch if you have it, Doll.”

I started pouring the drink absent mindedly until the nickname made me look up at who I was serving. I was taken aback when I didn’t see what I was expecting. In that moment, I thought I was losing it and couldn’t wait to be home.

“Here ya go.” I say as I pass the glass to the man, our fingers brush each other and my eyes instantly flick to his. His chocolate brown orbs gaze into mine and it’s like time stops for a moment before the connection breaks from the clatter of a spilled drink on the section I was about to clean and I have to go back to wiping down the bar. I turn back around once I finish and the stranger is gone, his money under his empty glass. I take another look at the clock and kill the music to give people the hint to start filing out the door.

I lock the door to the bar and begin to turn around when two cats chasing each other yowling and hissing. The cats, taking me off guard, make me jump. I held my hand against my chest as it slowly calms down to a normal rhythm. I begin the familiar trek home after I’m not so startled. As I approach my familiar alley, the one that keeps me more occupied than a weekly tv show, I hear a man, hos breath labored. I cautiously approached the alley, ready to bolt at the first sign of trouble. When my eyes fall upon a sight I wasn’t expecting.

I was shocked still as I absorbed the details of the scene in front of me. Two men occupied the dark alley, one was dead sprawled across the ground, the other was leaning against the brick wall, grasping his side. As my mind processed the information I noticed the man that was leaning against the building was familiar. I’ll take a glass of scotch if you have it, Doll. The image of him earlier compared to what my eyes were staring at was a stark difference.

“J?” The solitary word escaped my mouth without permission from my stunned brain. Those warm brown eyes looked up at me with only little surprise and as soon as they did I dropped to my knees beside him.

“What happened?” I asked him concerned. Once again, his head tilts to the side and he looks at me inquisitively for a second before a grunt falls from his lips and he doubles over in an obvious wave of pain.

“Let’s get you out of here.” I say aloud to myself as I get to my feet and warp my arm around him to help him to his. He goes to push away from me as if he didn’t need my help and as soon as he does he begins to fall back down. I catch him before much of any progress is lost and keep a firm grip on him. I look up to him and he stares down into my eyes, a hardness that was in them for a moment melting away and being replaced by a wave of pain. I take a step and gently pull him forward, thanking my lucky stars that my apartment is close by.

We make our way to my apartment building, through my apartment, and into my bathroom. J grips onto the door frame taking a moment of pause and I get a good look at his face since I found him in the alley. His face is white as a sheet, as though he was wearing his white make up, but I know he isn’t. He leans his back against the door frame and slowly slides down it. I move passed him and fully into my bathroom quickly grabbing two towels one that I drench in water and the other I left dry, I also grab the first aid kit I kept stashed under the sink.

I dropped down next to him once again, this time wiping his face with the wet wash cloth. His once heavy, labored breathing is now coming in short, almost quiet breaths.

“Maybe I should get you to a hospital…” I thought out loud, but quietly to myself. Lightning fast after my thought, his hand gripped m wrist with strength I didn’t think he was capable of in this condition. I had glanced down when his bloody hand gripped my wrist, and just as quickly my eyes flashed back to his.

“No hospital.” He rasped out the two words. I nodded my head in agreement to him and his hand gripped my wrist tighter as another wave of pain rocked through his body. I could tell he was trying not to crush my wrist with his grip, although he tried the pain in my wrist begged him to let go but I focused on the blood coming out of his side more freely without pressure on it anymore. The dry towel in my hand immediately reached to his side and put pressure on it. I pulled the wrist he still had a hold of towards the side and used that hand to hold the towel onto his side, I then coaxed his hand to let go and help hold the towel there.

I crouch in front of him and opened the first aid kit pulling out iodine, rubbing alcohol, and stitches kit from when I was interested in the medical field. I held the side of his face in hand for a second to get his attention and his eyes opened and drifted towards me.

“This is probably gonna hurt, a lot, but I’m gonna get you fixed up.” I warn and reassure him. He smirks before replying, “I don’t feel pain Angel, just chaos” trails off as his eyes close, and I take that as a sign to move quickly. I open his shirt and pour the iodine and rubbing alcohol on his wound. A wound that was a slash that was concerning but it didn’t seem as if anything fatal like an artery was harmed, but also a shallow puncture, as if someone had attempted to stab him but for whatever reason, wasn’t successful. I tear apart the stitches kit and set to work on closing the most concerning of the two wounds. About twenty to thirty minutes later I struggle on wrapping his mid-section with gauze, but manage to accomplish the slightly difficult task. I stand up and stretch my back and arms and walk to the sink and lean against it to soak in everything that just happened. I turn around and begin to wash my arms and hands of their red stains. I walk into my bedroom and look for a baggy shirt that might work for him. After finding one I set it on the night stand, then I face my next challenge of moving him to my bed. This endeavor was a lot tougher without his cooperation of consciousness last time, and after a bit of struggling, I manage to get him to my bed. I peeked under the gauze to bed sure I didn’t rip a stitch in the process, and breathed a sigh of relief when I see that they all remained intact. Exhausted, I stripped off my t-shirt and threw it across the room and did the same with my jeans. I pulled on a pair of shorts and wrapped a throw I kept on the couch and sat up against my head board as comfily as I could in my bed beside him. So exhausted in fact that it seemed like I didn’t even close my eyes before I fell asleep, with the final though running thought my head, how did he get all those scars?

[ajuimaginary]

Spy Universe - Hoshi

Anon asked for the Hoshi part of the Spy Universe. So here’s the start of the story of the combat expert meeting the reader.

There’s a guy at your gym you can’t help but notice. 

The whole “going to the gym” thing had never been your idea in the first place, but your friend dragged you along with her, and despite yourself, you kept on returning. Maybe it was partly because of the guy that you kept on returning.

You still remember the first time you saw him. Right at the end of a long workout, when wisps of your hair were curled by sweat around your face, your cheeks were pink, and your plain tee felt like it was clinging to your back. You followed your friend away from the equipment, panting more than talking, on your way to get smoothies.

And then he appeared, walking in as you walked out. He hadn’t started his work out yet. There was a towel swung loose across his shoulders, nicely muscled arms under a loose black tank top, and a determined look in his dark eyes.

You held the door for him automatically, and the second you made eye contact, his face transformed. That serious focus was edged out by a beaming smile, making his cheeks round beautifully, and his eyes nearly vanish. You managed to smile back, heart stuttering a little. 

He ducked his head politely, thanked you, and you caught his eyes flicker briefly over you before he vanished through the door, letting it swung shut behind him. You were still frozen.

“Um, Y/N, hello? You still alive?” you friend asked.

“Huh? Oh. Yeah. Of course.” you jerked back to life, following after her, avoiding her penetrating gaze which seemed to understand exactly what was in your mind.

“He was cute.” she said teasingly.

You were glad your cheeks where already flaming from your workout. You refused to acknowledge how flustered you suddenly were.

“Sure, I guess.” you admitted. “Come on. I want to get there before they run out of my favorite flavor again.”

And you stalked off ahead while she laughed at you, and tried to insist he had seemed to think you were cute too.

You kept seeing the boy after that. He always had that bright sunshine smile to offer, and you always managed one of your own. Whenever you saw him work out, it was impressive. There was a dedication- a spark he had beyond what you saw in anyone else.

You even spotted him talking to the most feared instructor in the gym one day, who was actually smiling while chatting to him. 

“I’ll see you next week, Soonyoung.” the instructor said. “Good job today.”

“Thanks,” the cute boy, who you now knew was called Soonyoung, bowed in gratitude, and then turned to go on his way. As he passed you, he suddenly grinned. “Hello! Nice day, right?”

“Hi,” you replied, heart stuttering as always. “Yeah, it is.”

Soonyoung, still smiling, kept walking. But it felt significant anyway. It was the first time you’d actually talked since him thanking you for holding the door. You hoped it was only the beginning of getting to know each other better.

-

Since Mingyu messed up the mansion break in mission by opening the fridge and setting off the alarms, and then Jihoon messed it up even further by colliding with his coffee shop crush, the Seventeen spy team had to change plans.

They missed their window, and now the item they wanted to steal has been moved from the house to a vault in the basement of one of the enemy’s office buildings. The whole of the team has since been working on a new mission which has to take place exactly two weeks after the messed up mission. 

On that night, there’s a big party all their enemies are gathering at, leaving their vaults without their authority, only watched by simple guards who aren’t prepared to face the unexpected without guidance. So the team is going to try breaking into the vault then. The whole plan is laid out. They just have to finish preparing.

One of those vital preparation weeks has already passed. Soonyoung is getting stressed. He knows how important it is to make sure everyone perfects the complicated group fighting pattern he’s teaching them. It calls for ten of the team members (excluding Woozi, Vernon, and DK who are working behind the scenes on this one) to be able to perfectly coordinate each and every move to take out several guards who will be coming at them from doorways on all sides of the vault.

But the team just isn’t getting it right. They’ve been at it for hours. 

“For God’s sake Seungkwan, are you kidding?” he snaps at last. He doesn’t lose his temper often, but today...

The younger boy picks himself up from the floor where the practice attackers have managed to unbalance him every time so far. He looked embarrassed, and annoyed with himself.

“You can do better!” Soonyoung continues, volume raising, waving a frustrated hand. “Come on! Even Joshua has this down by now!”

“Hey!” Joshua protests, offended by the unnecessary jab.

“I can’t stretch my legs the right way!” Seungkwan spits at the same time, fists clenching. “You know I can’t! Get off my back!”

“Fucking try!” Soonyoung yells.

Tension crackles through the training room. Everyone is staring at Soonyoung either angry or shocked at how grumpy he’s getting. He knows he’s already offended multiple people- not least Joshua and Seungkwan. Seungcheol had his mouth hanging open, but something in his eyes shows he’s preparing a reprimand. 

Then Soonyoung sees a protective frown has risen even on Vernon’s face (the boy is usually hard to make angry) and finally, it shakes him out of the worst of his mood. 

He runs a hand through his hair, sending in standing on end, and takes a deep breath. 

“I’m sorry,” he manages. “I’m being too harsh. I just- it’s worrying, guys. You know how dangerous this could be.” he sighs. “Seungkwan... you could get yourself killed.”

Seungkwan sobers up. 

“Yeah, I know,” he sighs too. The anger melts away at the sincerity in Soonyoung’s voice. “I would do stretches to get used to the movement, but there’s no time right now. The mission is a week away and I can’t improve that fast. Do you think I could switch places with someone? I could do a different part that doesn’t require me to hold any weight from that positioning-”

“Oh,” Soonyoung snaps his fingers, realization upon him. “Actually, I have an idea! You know I’m learning the street fighting thing from the gym. I think we can incorporate it...”

So he and Seungkwan end up taking a trip to the gym together. 

They turn up a little earlier than Soonyoung’s usual time, and he knows instinctively that it’s probably around the time that you arrive, since you’re usually there before him. He takes a glance through the gym as they walk through, looking out for you.

It’s actually the first time he’s ever brought one of the team with him, but they’ve all heard certain stories about the place. Certain stories relating to...

“Seungkwan, look, that’s the one I mentioned.” he whispers, nodding his head in your direction where he’s finally spotted you, talking to your friend, stretching before you begin. “I told you they’re cute.”

Seungkwan smirks, but looks, eager to finally put a face to the person he’s heard so much about

“They are cute,” he agrees with a shrug. “Very much your type.”

Soonyoung feels a blush rise to his face.

“Why have you still not said anything to them?” Seungkwan continues.

“Ah, you know. We’re way too busy with this whole mission right now. I don’t need to draw anyone into our kind of lifestyle.” Soonyoung looks back dreamily at you. “And besides, you saw the drama last week when Jihoon ran into that girl he liked from the coffee shop and she got caught up in our mission. I don’t want that to happen here.”

So Seungkwan lets it go, though he has half a mind to tell Seokmin and the others about it later, and maybe try to talk Soonyoung out of his worries. They all want to see him happy, after all. Even though the mission has been intense lately, one date wouldn’t mean pulling the girl into their difficult lives. And Seungkwan is perceptive enough to know that Soonyoung has been tearing himself apart dreaming about his crush. He thinks it’s one of the things adding to the burden of stress on his shoulders- one of the things that makes him extra grumpy in the training room lately.

They get to work practicing in Soonyoung’s favorite room of the gym, the one booked out for him by his favorite grumpy instructor (the guy doesn’t know all the details of Soonyoung’s life, but seems aware there’s something serious going on. He’s always willing to help.)

Soonyoung shows Seungkwan the moves he’s been thinking of, which are much easier than relying on Seungkwan carrying any weight with his legs at angles they can’t bend. Soonyoung questions why he even made the old plan the plan in the first place (after all, they all know Seungkwan can’t even cross his legs). Something has really been throwing him off lately, and he feels bad, as the team’s main combat instructor.

But things are going well now. The new style seems to work for Seungkwan.

And then, suddenly, everything goes wrong.

It starts with Soonyoung’s phone ringing. He tells Seungkwan to practice the next bit against the beam and digs it out of his bag, eyebrows raising when he sees Jihoon’s contact lighting up the screen.

“Hey Woozi?” he answers.

“Soonyoung, oh god, they found out which gym you use!” Jihoon jabbers from the other end. Soonyoung freezes. “You know I monitor their computer systems, and they just added the detail to your files. Then the sent the info to some of their agents. I don’t know if they’re on their way now, but-”

Soonyoung is already at the door, listening, and he realizes he can hear footsteps approaching down the hallway.

“We’ll get out of here ASAP.” he promises Jihoon. “Thanks for the head’s up!”

Jihoon hangs up, leaving him to it.

“Seungkwan!” Soonyoung yells. “Jihoon called. We have to leave before-”

And then the door swings open. 

He whirls on his heel, already in a defensive stance, ready to swing the first punch before anything can go wrong. 

And freezes.

Because it’s only you- you, with wide eyes and a nervous smile- you, looking at his fisted hands.

“Oh, sorry,” you stammer, face to face with your crush. “I d-din’t realize anyone was in here right now. I was just checking if the room was free to use.”

Soonyoung takes in your shy stance, your yoga mat tucked under your arm. You babble on, embarrassed, wanting to explain yourself.

“Some guys came in and were sort of leering and I didn’t really feel comfortable stretching in front of them, so my friend thought we should split and try to find a private room. I can check next door-”

“No, no.” Soonyoung says, shaking his head, mustering a smile. “It’s okay. You can take this room. We were just leaving.”

“Are you sure?” you ask, looking between him and his friend, who’s gathering their drink bottles and hoodies from the floor.

“Yeah, it’s fine,” his friend says. “Um, weird question, but what did the guys you saw look like?”

“I don’t know.” you scrunch your nose, thinking. “Big? Both bald. One had really bright red hair. And the other had a scar-”

“Running up the right side of his neck?” Soonyoung asked.

“Yeah. How did you know?” you say, surprised. You see Soonyoung exchange a look with his friend.

“We should really get go-”

And then a commotion erupts in the hallway.

Soonyoung swears under his breath, suddenly grabs you by the hand and yanks you toward him, pushing you behind himself, and slipping the yoga mat from your hands. 

You don’t have much time to register what’s going on when the two men from the other room burst into this one, both tense, looking ready to fight. They take in the sight before them, smirking when they see Soonyoung in front of you, weight borne in a careful expert fighting stance, but still seeming absurdly small beside them. 

You even have time to glance at Soonyoung’s friend. Seungkwan is tying both hoodies at his waist, not taking his eyes off the intruding figures ahead.

“So, it’s true, S.Coups favorite little dancing monkey frequents the local gym with the vegans and wannabe weight lifters.” The red-head says, mean smile on his face.

“Yah, Hoshi, I thought you would know better than to be caught with citizens nearby,” the other man says, nodding at you. You feel some bewilderment past your fear. You thought his name was Soonyoung. But he responds to Hoshi, jaw tightening. “Or did you not learn from your mother all those years ago.”

“Seungkwan,” Hoshi says quietly. “Are you ready?”

“Yeah,” Seungkwan answers. He looks more angry at the sight of his friend being taunted than his friend does. “Just let me know which one to do, Hosh.”

“Let’s keep it simple.” Hoshi says. “We have what we need for emergency exit plan three, so...”

Responding to Hoshi’s words before anyone else can move, Seungkwan flings one water bottle toward the men in the doorway. They both reach to catch it before it can hit them, reflexes fast, which you realize is their fatal mistake. Seungkwan must have found the time to twist off the cap of the second bottle, because he hurls it on in quick succession while the first is still in the air. With both men reaching for that, they don’t have time to jump and stop the passage of the second bottle, or shield their eyes, and the bottle smacks hard into the door frame above, exploding over them.

You’ve hardly taken in the sight of them sputtering, water in their eyes, before Hoshi shoves you. Hard. Out of the way. He glances over for long enough to make sure you land in the safety mattresses around the edges of the gym walls rather than the hard floor.

Then he unfurls your yoga mat in a quick curl, yanks it taught in his hands, and bends to hold it at a careful angle. Seungkwan runs and leaps against it, using the momentum to launch himself over the heads of the men as they scream out in pain and scrub at their eyes. 

There was more than water in that bottle, you realize. And with the rest of the conversation between these boys and the men who are attacking, you’re sure this is something very serious.

Hoshi turns to you then, eyes bright with adrenaline, but worried. 

“Head out that door.” he instructs quickly, nodding his head to a door at the end of the room. “They’re doing hot yoga next door, but you can slip into the room. They won’t mind. And it’s better for you to be around people anyone. Call gym security and these guy won’t bother coming after you. Keep yourself safe, okay?”

“Okay,” you stammer, bewildered. 

Hoshi shoots you a half-watt version of his usual bright smile, and then, effortlessly, he tucks his knees, rocks on his heels, and springs forward. He leaps right over the men in his way, using their shoulders to push off and land neatly in the hallway, sprinting off as soon as his feet hit the ground.

The men are still writhing in pain, reaching blindly after him and trying to follow, and you know, for now, they’ve forgotten about you, obsessed with chasing down their target: the man named Hoshi: the man named Soonyoung.

You turn, and manage to stumble on shaky legs out of the room- through the fear and shock, the only solid thing left in your mind is the need to follow the instructions given in his sweet, concerned voice.

[anime-imagines-galore]

Jotaro Aquarium Date (Part 4 Time)

((I wrote this based on a trip I took to the aquarium and I tried to make this fairly detailed given it’s Ocean Man lol. But yea, I based it off the Baltimore Aquarium and the Dallas Aquarium if you guys wanted to know and the relationship is up to interpretation. Also, dedicated to @jotarohasadirtysecret, a new friend!!!!))

Under the cut because it’s 2K+ words

Given that this is Jotaro we’re talking about and aquariums are usually crowded with people, most of them being children, the request to join him really caught you off guard. Before your thoughtful silence could be taken as rejection, you quickly agree to his request, not missing the small blush that he As much as Jotaro loves sea life, it was still surprising to know that he wanted to go to the aquarium. tried to cover with his hat.

~~~~~~

Getting to the aquarium wasn’t too bad. Sure, it was hot but the train ride there was pleasantly cool and surprisingly empty for a Saturday. You even managed to get more than a one word answer out of the quiet man by commenting on the skyline of Downtown. Reaching the stop, the two of you made your way to the aquarium. When the two of you arrived to the aquarium, both of you were relieved it was only a ten minute walk away from your stop. Thankfully, the line was fairly short, it being a 30 minute wait instead of the usual 45.

Surrounding the trail to get inside and near the admissions booth were a few exhibits holding exotic birds mostly from South America and Africa. Gawking at the sheer size of the birds, some the size of farm pigs and one that was nearly four feet tall, while Jotaro purchased the tickets. Nudging you away from a band of penguins, the two of you climbed up a flight of stairs into a seemingly different world.

You heard Jotaro inhale sharply and your eyes widen as a beautiful blue waterfall thundered beside an enormous tree was presented before you. Small monkeys jumped from branch to branch in the thick canopy while ducks by the shore of the island swan in the equally blue stingray filled waters below. Upon further inspection, aka leaning over the rail, you saw the water was much deeper than it let on, seeing dark shadows moving under the surface.

The mist from the waterfall must have made the rail slick because you soon felt yourself tipping over. An arm around your waist pulled you back to the ground and away from the rail before moving itself to your shoulder.

“Yare yare. I know you like fish but you don’t have to swim with them.” looking up at Jotaro, his gaze was trained on the water below but you saw the end of his mouth was slightly -almost unnoticeable- turned upward. You guess the aquarium made the stoic male a bit soft.

Even though there weren’t many people outside, the aquarium was packed. The hand on your shoulder pushed lightly, leading you around the walkway as it gave different angles to the sight before you. A tiny monkey looked down from the leaves arching over the walkway, giving a curious head tilt to the people below. You gawked up at the small creatures as Jotaro led you to the next exhibit. The two of you passed by all types of tropical birds, a crocodile, bats, and even a sloth that was sleeping in a low tree.

Just past the crocodile the slope of the rail became more defined and the viewing windows of the open-ended tanks you looked down on earlier were in sight. Stingrays seemed to fly by in their own tank as ducks dived down with them. The biggest tank and the one with the most crowing housed the-

“Otters!”

“They’re sooooo cute~.”

“They’re a lot bigger than in the videos.”

And that last person was right. The Giant Otter -and it lived up to its name- was stretched out on a log above the water. From nose to tail tip, it reached almost six feet long.

“Have you ever worked with otters before?” You looked up to see that his teal eyes were slightly widened, just as surprised by the size of the creatures as everyone else. “I have but not the giant ones.” You could hear the note of longing in his deep baritone and stifled a giggle as he took an album’s worth of pictures of the otter before it dived in the water.

The trail continued to slope down until the room it led to was much darker than the exhibits before it. You could feel Jotaro start to practically vibrate at what this could mean; you were finally going to see the fish tanks. The tank was no less than 30 feet long and maybe a foot or two taller than your companion, making the viewing window take up most of the wall. Inside were some of the biggest and friendliest catfish you’d ever seen. Unlike its other tank mates, the catfish were very interested in the people and stayed very close to the glass as though they were saying hello. Stingrays, softshell turtles, and an arapaima lazily swam around, letting the catfish have all the fun and… was that a manatee in the back? Jotaro stood fairly far from the tank given that people crowded around the benches in front of it but you could tell he wished to be closer. You, on the other hand, had no problem with coming face to face with the tank and was greeted by one of the catfish. It looked at you with curiosity and even followed a bit as you started to walk away.

“Those fish are ridiculously huge! What do they feed those things?!” you wonder out loud, looking back at the tank. It was then you noticed that Jotaro wasn’t walking with you even though you were on the other side of the room. He stood in front of the tank, writing furiously in a pocket notebook. He looked up and you saw his shoulders slightly jump in panic when he realized you weren’t standing next to him. It wasn’t until his eyes landed on your frame did he snap his notebook close and made his way over, releasing a soft ‘yare yare daze’ when he stopped before you.

“Don’t walk away like that. This place is too crowded.”

“Yea, okay.” you snorted and laughed as he pulled his hat down, knowing that he was probably covering a blush since it was his fault you got separated. A very mischievous idea crossed your mind and you just hoped that this wouldn’t make Jotaro too uncomfortable. You wrapped your arms around his left arm, careful to keep to that side in case he wanted to write something else in his notebook. He looked down at you in mild bewilderment at the sudden contact. Flashing a brilliant smile, you responded with a, “So we don’t lose each other again.” and didn’t even bother trying to hold in the laugh at his ‘yare yare’.

Now that you think about it, you were glad that you decided to latch onto his arm. The lower half of the building seemed to be exclusively for deeper sea life as there were tanks after tanks of the deep-sea creatures. Fresh water, salt water, cold or warm water; you name it, it was there. You had to lengthen your strides as Jotaro darted from one tank to the other and giving the small children around a run for their money in terms of energy. You even watched as he found a tank titled the Waters of Japan and became engrossed with a particularly friendly fish. You heard the children’s laughter as they watched the fish flip to follow whatever finger was dragged on the glass.

There was one tank, though, that got Jotaro to finally stay still long enough for you to catch your breath. Not much to your surprise, once the two of you entered the Shark Tunnel, Jotaro didn’t want to leave. Honestly, you didn’t really want to leave, either. The tunnel was bathed in a soft blue light, the water around you a cool aquamarine. Even the shadows softened to a sapphire and Jotaro’s already deep blue eyes darkened to match the water around him. Your breath hitched as his white attire glowed, making it seem like he would look more at home with the creatures in the water than the people on land. With how enthusiastically he talked about his work, you felt that he thought the same way sometimes. Turning your attention back to tank around you, you failed to notice him watching you out of the corner of his eye, taking you in with as much vigor as you were to him just moments earlier. Watching the smaller and more passive sharks -bull sharks and sawfish, Jotaro informed you- swim right beside and above you was mystical. The real spectacle, though, were the bigger fish. Candy colored tropical fish sped away as a whale shark seemingly moved in slow motion behind them. The crowd let out a collective ‘ahhhh’ as the gentle giant twisted over the tunnel to swim to the other side.

Looking up at Jotaro, you were surprised to see that he was smiling. Smiling. In public. Well, a Jotaro smile. Okay, surprised wasn’t the right word given that his normal stoic facade wasn’t as strong today as it normally is but it wasn’t a normal sight and it was kind of…..nice. You’d daresay he was having fun today and this side of him was worth being swarmed by obnoxious children and even worse parents to see it again. Neither of you bothered trying to rush the other out of the tunnel, enjoying the peaceful nature of the whale sharks. After standing there for what felt like forever, Jotaro lightly tugged his arm in your grasp and started making his way to the exit. Walking slowly, the two of you watched as a pair of manta rays back flipped slowly in the water before gracefully gliding away to a deeper part of the tank as of saying goodbye.

Continuing your slow gait, the two of you passed by tall wide columns willed with long tentacled jellyfish. The tanks changed colors, giving some life to the dark room and giving the unworldly creatures an ethereal feel. After the jellyfish, the hallway started to lighten and you had to let go of Jotaro’s arm as he suddenly ran to the next tank. Practically pushing past the children gathered at the glass, you watched as he started to furiously write in his notebook again. You laughed, knowing that if any animal was going to provoke this reaction, it was going to be the dolphins. They corkscrewed, flipped, and spun around and around in the water; just having a good time. Given that he had a dolphin pin on his hat and coat, you concluded that they were his favorite aquatic mammals and watched the dolphins in wonder as they performed tricks before the growing crowd.

You had to literally drag the tall male away from the tank and to the next exhibit, which would be some of the last animals in the aquarium.

“Come on….” you huffed trying to pull him by the arm. He’s six foot too tall of pure muscle, making him stupid amounts of heavy. “You’re too tall to be standing in front of the tank forever and you need to move because you’re heavy~!”

“Just a few more notes.” he grunted. You could’ve swore he’d been writing something down for five minutes straight by this point about an animal he works with every day.

“You work with them all the time. Come on, just a few more animals.” a sigh and a ‘yare yare’ made you nearly stumble as Jotaro started walking away from the tank.

Holding his arm again, you nearly rolled your eyes at how stiff he seemed to have gotten but still dragged him to the small petting area in the sunlit room.

“Welcome to the horseshoe crab exhibit! Would you like to touch them?” the woman behind the waist tall open tank asked. “These crustaceans haven’t changed much at all from millions of years ago, given that they don’t look much like any other creature in their family.” she was right, with its appropriately horseshoe shaped body, eight legs, and tail made it look like a mix of a stingray and a crab. Its black eyes were nearly lost in its dark brown/gray body and you were careful to softly run a finger down its spine. It hopped a little in the water at the touch and the sudden movement made you quickly pull back your hand. The woman laughed at your surprise and started to pet a particularly antsy crab. “I’m sorry. I should’ve warned you about that.” To your left, around six crabs were crowded around Jotaro, who looked concerned at the crabs climbing on top of each other as they tried to get affection from the man. Seemingly feeling your gaze, he looked up and seemed to flush a bit when your eyes met. Nodding his head in a thank you to the woman, he gave the crabs one final pat before joining your side again.

Walking around a busy and sometimes cramp building all day left the two of you exhausted and you were both glad the ancient crabs were the last creatures in the aquarium. The walk back to the train station was quiet and relaxed, neither too eager to move fast but also not too eager to miss the upcoming train. The train ride was equally quiet and, thankfully, pleasantly cool and mostly empty. A tired contentment rolled off Jotaro in waves, making you want to lean closer to the man. There was a moment’s hesitation before you felt an arm wrap itself around your shoulders and bring you closer to its host. In response, you leaned you head on his shoulder and closed your eyes to rest a bit for the remainder of the ride.

A gentle but firm nudge prompted you out of your seat from your groggy state. The arm around your shoulders led you out the train and to your destination. The walk back slowly but surely woke you up and it wasn’t until the two of you were a street or two from your house did you realize that you were going home. Jotaro led you to the front of your house and stopped in front of the door. He slightly rocked on his feet as though he was going to say something but was too nervous to do so. A smile tugged your lips upwards as you thought of another mischievous idea that you hoped would go in your favor. Standing on the top of your toes, you grabbed the collar of Jotaro’s coat and pressed a kiss to his cheek. Despite pulling his hat down to cover his eyes, his blush had spread across his entire face and he didn’t bother trying to hide his smile as he turned away to go home.

[traveldiar]

8th July: 

I just moved out from Filaretai hostel and heading towards the station with all my bags. It is a big day today. Sun was shining and gently tickling my skin. Not even one dark cloud in the sky. That's the day when I suppose submit all my paperwork for Japanese visa and then head home to the deep countryside. I was bloody nervous. There was so many what if’s running in my head. That was a day where everything or nothing could go wrong.

Lucky me, Vilnius train station has a storage place, so I don't have to drag all my luggage to the embassy.

After dropping off my luggage, I was going with public transport towards the embassy… 2 hours earlier than I suppose to. First thing after I got off the bus, I went straight to the embassy. It started to get cloudy, and cold.

I am standing in front of the embassy gate, is raining. I am looking at it, and getting myself mentally ready. Meanwhile calming myself down, by claiming "There is no reason to decline me, my papers are spotless”, at least that’s what I thought.

After staring at the gate for a while, I realized that there is still 1,5 hour to kill. What now? On the way here I saw a supermarket. So then, let's go shopping.

I was strolling around a shop for 10 minutes. I could not decide what to buy. What I end up buying was a local pastry and pack of cigarettes. The strange choice isn't?

When I looked at the clock there was still more than an hour. Waiting was driving me crazy! I was so restless! But I need to do something… Should I get some coffee? probably… The nearest coffee place was 500 meter away. Well, I do have time.

So I went to the coffee place, I got some locally brewed fancy cappuccino, and tried enjoying myself, but the anxiety was killing me. I had a lot to lose! All the flights are booked, all the arrangements in Japan were made. I did spend a lot of money! I even quit my job for that!

After spending some time in the cafe, It was almost time to go. When I get to the embassy, it was still minutes too early for my appointment. Well, fuck it, let's go in. What happens, that happens! There is the only way, and that's forward.

So, I rang the doorbell on the gate, and the gate opened! I went to the front gate. The security guard opened. In front of me, there was a full-body scanner. I stepped through, and it started beeping! The first thought in my head " I don't have any guns!" I was so glad, that I didn't say out loud…

The secretary through the glass-covered counter asked me to step forward. The first question she asked:

Secretary: - Do I have all my papers?

With trembling voice I answered:

Me: - yes!

Awkwardly, I started to unload all the papers. She stopped me because I had to fill up some other forms first. At that moment I was very confused. It was just a paper with my name and purpose of visit. But I couldn't find out where to even write my name.

Her voice softened, and she started to point with the finger, where and what to fill up. I felt like the first-grader, who just learned how to write. It was quite embarrassing when I think about it.

Then she asked for my papers. I gave her all had from my yellow transparent envelope. With a confused look,  started to go through my flight details. She got even more confused when she looked at other papers, such as the list of activities  ( a paper I had to fill up, to show what I am going to in Japan ). She started to ask questions, such:

Secretary: -  Where is written means of transport in Japan? Where is the date of entry?,  Where is the port of exit?. 

In my head “Did I completely misunderstood, a whole form?”, “Do I have re-do everything, as kindly ask for another appointment?”. My anxiety was pilling up, and my hands were trembling. 

The secretary, with a kind voice, asked me to sit down and wait until she will go through all the papers. 5 minutes later, she came back and asked to come to the counter. In my head " It definitely gets declined". The secretary started to go through the papers and gave me a pen at the same time.

Secretary: - If you can correct, this and this point, and write down the entry and exit dates, and will be fine. But I don't understand your bank statement! I am not sure if the ambassador will accept it. Now sit down and wait for Ambassador.

A few minutes later, short, timid Japanese guy came out and called out my name.

Ambassador: -  Miss Janina, I understand you want to apply for one year visa to Japan".

Me: -  Yes sir.

He pointed to the door which led to a semi office sitting area. He apologized for his English, and there is no assistant today, who can help to interpret. He asked for my reasons why I want to go to Japan. We had a very nice chat for 10 minutes.  he said, that all my papers are in order, but he can't accept my bank statement. It has to be written by the bank officials, that I have enough money, and stamped. Otherwise, he has no problem to issue by this Friday.

I left the office and started googling for the nearest office of my bank branch, here In Vilnius. I asked the secretary, yo get my passport, so I can go to the bank to get a statement. She agreed, but she was in doubt if I will ever come back.

I left the embassy and started heading towards Danske bank office I saw on google maps. It was raining, but I didn't care, I had to get that statement. It was around 3 km, but I never walked that fast, I didn't even have time to look up If any buses were going that direction. I kept walking. At the same time, I was so happy, because I almost have a visa! Almost there!

The first Danske bank office I reached, it turned out to be a headquarters. Damm… I saw on the map, there was another office 700 meters away. Rushed over there! Damm it looks like another strange office. I didn't resemble a bank at all. Well, let's ask. I went to the first person I noticed at the counter, and I asked with a desperate voice:

Me: - Hello, do you serve the customers here? Right?

Receptionist:- yes.  

Me: - Is there is anyone who can print an official bank statement regarding my account balance?

Receptionist:- Yes, wait a moment over there.

She pointed to the furthest cover in the room, with few chairs. A few moments later she made a call. 

Receptionist:- Hello, there is someone to meet you. Can you come down for a moment?

Meanwhile, I was staring in empty space, calming my self down, that everything is going to be ok. Time was going slower with every second. Waiting was becoming unbearable... All I wanted was to get it done and return to the embassy and get it over with. My head different questions were running through with no answers. „ Will get the statement? Will I return on time? Will I get visa!!?“At that moment it seemed hours have passed since I sit down. I am about to look at my phone to check the time. At that exact moment, I hear steps, coming down the stairs. It was a blond message woman, coming towards me.

Women: - Are you waiting for me?

Me: - Yes.

Women: - Let's go to my office.

We started going towards stairs, and small relief inside me, "Just, maybe I will get this over finally!" I started to explain my situation. Immediately she cut me short in my speech.

Secretary: - I am sorry, I can¨t help you, since your account is in Denmark, I am not allowed to look at foreign bank accounts, even it is the same branch.

At that moment I felt even more desperate. I tanked for her effort and wished her a  good day. In my mind, I was trying not to panic and calmly asses the situation. The more I thought the more I came to the conclusion that I have the only option was left. I NEED TO CALL, TO MY BANK IN DENMARK!

I went to nearby shopping centre, so I can sit down somewhere. Before entering the building I started calling my bank in Denmark. It took at least 20 minutes maybe even more to reach them. The line was busy. Probably a lot of people were trying to solve their issues with the bank too. After endless waiting finally, someone end of the line picked up. I managed to talk with customer service, they agreed to write a statement for me. I would get the next morning.   That's when I was finally relieved… I contacted the embassy and agreed to bring the bank statement the next morning. Great!

Finally, I can be at ease! But wait... where I am going to sleep tonight? I have checked out from the hostel already... Ummm, YEAH...

[honnybunnie]

Can I request MC dressing up fancy in the brothers specific colour (maybe even an access of their animal or something close to it) at an event that Lord Diavolo was throwing Whether they already set with the brothers as a date or doing this to get their attention is up to you

Of course! A event or party hosted by Diavolo is sure to be be grand. when you say their color, im hoping the color they usually wear or the colors they have on during their demon forms.

I apologize for how long it took, I can’t go in blind, I had to design some clothes to get a better picture of the fancy outfits<3 <3

Lucifer:

There were only 2 reasons you decided to work the party. Diavolo offered to pay for your service, and second once you saw Barbatos display your outfit it became motivation. Lucifer along with Diavolo was the talk of these parties. Even with all seven brothers you weren’t even able to attend a party with a date, so it didn’t hurt to work at a party.

This party was to celebrate Lucifer’s thousands of years of serving as Diavolo’s loyal friend.

You Stood there welcoming the guests with a bow. The guests smitten by the attire that draped your body. A white laced choker with a red bow, White corset in addition to a red blazer with stilted tails in the back, tight high waist black pants with a damark pattern. The last detail was the red peacock feathers embellished with black and gold eyes. Diavolo acknowledged that even his wait staff needed to be well suited for every occasion. You were at the command of every guest, still not having a sight of Lucifer. There was a slight touch felt on the lower back. Reacting with a full body turn, you didn’t see anyone. Sighing at the action, you resumed your duty of collecting empty champagne glasses, and handing out horderves. Barbatos sent you on a run to the kitchen to get more champagne.

Pouring the champagne into empty glasses, you jolted at the sudden touch that was felt on your lower back. Swinging a hand to hit who the culprit, only to have it caught spinning you around to face them. Lucifer with a smirk pulled you closer by the lower back. “I apologize was this not what you wanted?,” he mumbled adjusting his lips to your ear, “Didn’t you wear this outfit to finally receive my attention. Don’t think I haven’t notice how great you look dressed as my animal, and in my color no less.”

Mammon:

You had told Diavolo about the hotels with gambling as a main attraction. Though gambling was illegal in devildom, he decided to make it into a little charity. As soon as Mammon had gotten wind of it and he needed his lady luck to attend with him. “Mc, as ya first demon, ya should know that you will be attending the gambling charity with me,” he demanded with a slight smirk, “Make sure to wear something that a lucky Lady would wear.” The night of the event you were running late, because Asmodeus kept making adjustments to your look. He said its no good looking like a cheap whore for an extravagant event.

Mammon was already at the event gambling... losing and acquiring more debt as time passed.

Emerging into the event hall multiple eyes turned to glance at your appearance, You wore a ruffled black shirt, tucked into a yellow skirt with a slit on each side of the skirt, topped with gold chandeliers earrings, and a crow pendant necklace. which Asmodeus claimed were both charmed to bring good luck. One demon already approaching them, “why Hello, you must be the hum-,” he was stopped by a knock to the teeth. “Hey they’re spoken for, don’t pursue just any human,” he growled, “this is my lucky charm.”

Walking away with arm around your shoulder, “gold really suits you,” he cooed. The night was mainly you plastered onto his lap, and when you weren’t directing touching him coincidentally he’d lose.

Leviathan:

Diavolo wanted to hold an event to help gather the otaku’s of devildom, and so he planned to host a cosplay cafe in a month, at rad. All the server’s were going to wear different outfits, and Barbatos had jolted down the measurements for the cosplay outfits that the seamstress to sew. Barbotos stated that the seamstress was going to make the outfits and design them. You were excited to see what the outfit was going be designed and sewed for you.

You were excited to tell Levi about the event, but he was always busy in the room, and when he left it was always to run to the craft store. He was definitely working on a big project. The day of the event Levi knocked on your door with a bag stretched out into your face. “th-this will look g-great on you,” he stuttered, “see you at the c-cosplay c-cafe.” Was he the one that made the cosplay, shrugging you stormed to rad.

As the cosplay Cafe was about to begin. You gazed at the cosplay in the mirror. Just wow. White collared purple tank top romper, a black tie, black bunny ears and tail. The top part of the romper was very revealing. Ready to work you picked up a plate and placed some starting treats.

You skimmed the cafe, hoping to find the purple haired otaku. Once in sight you rushed over with a skip. "Welcome back master, I hope these treats will find you well," you voiced. "M-mc!?!?! Huh.. h-huh," Levi panicking concealing his red tinted face with his arm, "t-thank YOU FOR THE TREATS... You LOOK GOOD IN THE OUTFIT I MADE." Your hunch earlier was right, you smiled and bowed, "thank you master, I hope you and I can put it to good use again." "Y-yes we will," he muttered.

Satan:

They caught your attention at Cat Cafe. Diavolo wanted you and Satan to be at the event as helpers, because he was horrified at the thought of some of the demons would eat the cats. You both were instructed to wear a something formal with some cat ears that they will provide. Hearing this you constructed a outfit in your mind.

At the Cat Cafe you presented your self, in a green button shirt, black sailor high waist shorts, cat apron, and green cat ears to match. Satan was stealing glances at you often, and you wanted to confront him about him. “MC... you should wear those ears more often,” he whispered into your ear. He patted your butt, “Maybe next week to the library. lets make it a date while we are at it.”

You blushed at his comment. “I noticed that you choose carefully on the color too, you choose my demon color.” he added.

Asmodeus:

You knew that when ever their was a Diavolo hosted party at the fall, Asmo was always tailing someone to make them his that evening. You wanted to be the next pray, you observed his motions, and types he would pick up at every party whenever both of you attended. He prayed on the ones that covered up more. I guess he was the type to reveal what was kept to the imagination. He also really love people who showed some shoulder showing.

Arriving at the fall, with a long sleeve pink knitted shirt with the shoulders, burgundy leather pants, some caramel high knee boots, and a black scorpion brooch located on the heart. He was already prowling around, but when you swiftly swung the doors opened and strolled in, his eyes locked onto your hips. they swayed side to side, the confidence that build with ever stride.

He approached you. “Mc, what a breathtaking look,” he purred “who exactly are you trying to impress, so I can destroy them. You grin, “well then your gonna have to destroy you self,” replying calmly to his comment. Smitten by the comment he cupped your check, “Oh Mc, this color really bring out the color in your shoulders.”

Beelzebub:

You were to attend as a maid to Diavolo's tea and treat tasting party, he would compensate you for your time. Honestly all you cared about was being able to dress as a maid to impress the cute Gluttony demon. Barbatos prepared a puffy orange maid dress, that have a black leather apron, and gloves for the party. When the party was on its way, you were to offer tea to anyone who requested.

You weren't surprised to oversee the ginger take in every treat in sight. Of course wasn't there for the tea, so you walked passed him to pour some tea for someone who was asking. He must have not noticed you, continuing the duties tasked to you. There were already 2  times that Barbatos had to restock the food that Beelzebub had already consumed. Pouting that not once did he ask for tea. This time Barbatos wanted you to replenish the food that was to be laid out in front of him.

“MC, thank you, I’ve been hoping you would serve me treats and tea,’ he smiled patting your head “you look very cute in orange. Please be my maid again soon.”

Belphegor:

A sleepover party was enough to make this cowboy excited. You could see it in his texts. Lately Belphie’s been urging you for more naps, although he thought that maybe you slept too little to begin with. He was always upset your sleep schedules clashed. If he was tired you’d be wide awake, and vise versa.

He knew that when ever Diavolo organized an event, You would always make time for it, sleepy or not. The best part was that pajama’s were a must, and you needed to make the final tug on the reel. Your attire was a satin cow patterned printed shirt, and satin navy blue shorts. though the type of fabric wasn’t as breathable, and was too nice for a sleepover. The night was spent wide awake lounging around on the bean bag chair. Closing your eyes, enjoying the rain and thunder sound a sudden weight sinked onto your lap. Glancing at a groggy Belphie, “you look adorable, so Im going to sleep here with you,” he demanded “maybe if you were my sweater you’d look cuter.”

[lavila27]

Richonne “Say Yes” Review by Lauren Avila

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING POST CONTAINS SPOILERS TO TWD'S 7.12 "SAY YES"..... AND IT'S ALSO YVETTE NICOLE BROWN'S NOTEBOOK LONG!

I'm the queen of the world! Woo-hoo! I feel like I'm flying at the front of the most magnificent ship on television. Rick and Michonne Grimes are honestly one of the strongest, healthiest, and inspiring couples I've ever seen in any media form. I know it sounds cliche, and they are anything but cliche, but they complete each other. It's remarkable really because independently they are already capable warriors who don't NEED anyone but that's essentially what makes this pair so amazing. Rick and Michonne on their own are survivors, but together they are an unstoppable force. This episode really was a beautiful tribute to each character but a undeniable display of their impressive teamwork. I loved this episode so much I can hardly express why. It was the little things that made me the happiest. I truly appreciate the hardwork that goes into The Walking Dead. The whole cast, crew, writers, and producers are in a caliber quite different from any other tv show out there. It's such a gift to be able to pick up on new things each time you see an episode. As some fans might have noticed. There was a lot more to the episode than just what was at the surface, as often there is in any episode. Okay, so let's dive in. There were parts of the episode that I was swooning over as a fangirl but other parts that I found I was completely fascinated by as a regular viewer. I found there was a lot of symbolism and signs going on especially regarding callbacks to other episodes and possible foreshadowing to the future. Let's first discuss all the callbacks. As a whole, I feel like this episode sort of embodied their journey so far, individually and together. If you look enough into it (as a fangirl), you might even say this was like going down an AISLE of memory lane. ;)

There were Claimed references like Michonne's past, staying put in one safe place for awhile, scavenging, and Michonne's love of cheese. Sitting around a campfire and "You okay?" was an A reference. Even saying "Clear" very distinctly during their dinner felt like a throwback moment. Going after the deer didn't actually make me think of a few episodes prior like they talk about, but rather Carl. He went after the deer just before being shot. Obviously we've now learned that Grimes boys and deers aren't a safe combination. However, I've now heard people talk about a deer being a symbol of fertility... and Rick owes Michonne a deer? Hmm. Time will tell on that one. The roof caving has happened before in Season 4 when Michonne comes back from going after a past villain, the Governor. It's also in that episode that Rick wants her "to stay awhile" just like in this episode. I could go into a lot more detail about the parallels between "Say Yes" and "30 Days Without an Accident" but it might have to be another post. Let's just keep it at: characters struggling with inner demons, establishing a new life for Carl, fighting for a chance, etc. While I'm on the subject of the prison though, I felt like the whole carnival setting was reminiscent of that with the walkers roaming inside gated areas and taking down barriers. I'm sure if you look deep enough you will find all sorts of little things, but the final callback I want to acknowledge is the car from this episode and the tank from the pilot. Rick was once again stuck in a car, surrounded by walkers. Only this time, he didn't have Glenn to navigate him out. :( By the way, I love that Richonne even have chemistry while separated by an entire car backseat.

Speaking of Glenn, I think that Rick's grief over Glenn's death is also a big reason why he doesn't want to lead anymore. Even though Michonne has been encouraging to him with her confidence in his ability to lead, I think he's scared. She has told him before that it's not his fault when people die but I think that every loss is going to weigh on him for a very long time. He can't forgive himself for some things which is why I think it terrifies him to be responsible for anyone. This brings me to the most official unofficial proposal/marriage on tv. It seems that Rick only truly believes in himself because of Michonne's faith in him. He says later "You led me here." That's why he will only consider leading with her beside him. These are the facts as far as I'm concerned: Rick asked her if she would be willing to lead a life with him. She said yeah. They sealed it with a kiss. They are married, folks. They are Chilli and Mac&Cheese together.

Shoutout to @siancore for noticing something I noticed too. I wondered if I was reaching a bit far with it but I guess I'm not totally fangirl crazy because someone else hears it too. They sound different when talking to each other. I'm so in love with this acting decision! I assume that Andy and Danai do this purposely, that is. They have a soft, playfulness in their voices that they really only use with Carl and that's about it. It's like you can hear them letting their emotional guard down. I heard it A LOT in this episode. Whether it was during their comedic relief, their lovey-dovey giddiness, or even in their vulnerable heart-to-hearts. The only time I heard Rick sound like the Rick we're used to was when he was talking about the upcoming war. It was the natural and serious protector coming out in him. I could talk about their subtle voice changes throughout the episode in an entire post like their old-married couple tones, their smitten teenager tones, and their warrior lover tones but I'll leave it at that for now. You get what I'm saying though. The flirting... the love... the softness... it was all on point!!

Let's talk about Michonne's post-traumatic stress. First of all, I wonder if this abandoned school reminded Michonne of the camp she lost Andre to. The way she immediately identified the place as somewhere something serious has happened. It seem to not settle well with her. I also found it interesting how fast she went back to that dark place that Rick and Carl pulled her out of. When she thought Rick was lost to walkers, like Andre, she emptied right before our eyes. She became the shadowy creature she once was because her whole world collapsed in that moment. Yes, she's a strong woman, but Rick gives her life meaning. Without him, she would be lost. She later says, "I can't lose you." We've seen how Rick and Michonne react to extreme grief and trauma, but they both have survived it. Of course, I think that they helped each other find joy and hope again in each other, but they have others who were part of that too. When Rick told her "You can lose me. I can lose you," it surprised me at first. Right away I thought he meant that they were capable of bearing that loss because they've done it before. I thought that he should at least say it more gently like, "Yeah, it would be difficult but we can survive. We're the ones that live." Then I realized, no he's not talking about the ability to lose each other, rather the possibility. He's telling her that it's entirely likely that he can lose her in this war they're about to start and vice versa. He's telling her that there's a chance that they might not come out of this alive but it's still a battle worth fighting because the future is worth fighting for. He wants a life that's worth having for the kids but also for each other. I think it was really important for them to have this talk. I think something that really crushed Rick when it came to Negan was how far he fell. He was basically getting cocky over the world being theirs. This new mentality will probably be a lot more useful to them though. They know what they are fighting for, who they're fighting for, and what they're willing to sacrifice to win. They are both putting the greater good above themselves.

While I'm on the topic of future, let's talk about something a little happier. There seems to be a lot of signs of a potential future pregnancy for Richonne. The baby blanket they found in a drawer, kissing Michonne's belly, and then that whole deer thing that I talked about earlier. Based on Michonne's mood swings from devastation to joy and her growing hunger for those ready-to-eat meals, I might even guess she's already expecting. In all seriousness, I think it's a very real possibility that we'll see a little Richonne baby one day.

That leads me to my fangirl list of episode highlights: - I loved that in a series where the characters rarely get to smile, this episode was nothing but smiles and laughs! Their joy brought me joy. I had a big smile on my face the whole night. - Their epic embrace when Michonne knew Rick was alive and ok. It was emotional and so real. They held each other so tight like they were literally each other's whole world. - Rick's negotiation to keep the cat. I'm thinking that this was the line that Nicotero had in mind as the funniest line of the season. It's hard to figure out because there were a lot of good ones but the idea that Ricky-Dicky Grimes (who has ripped out throats, dissected walkers, survived herds, murdered Terminites and Negan's crew in cold-blood, and has beast-mode against anything to live) is negotiating with a dumpster diva for a cat statue is hilarious. - All their physical contact: kissing, hand-holding, hugging, other stuff ;) - All their non-physical contact: watching/staring at each other - Favorite lines: (also contenders for funniest line)   "We found the only way in, so..."   "It's Chilli and Mac & Cheese... Together. C'mon."   "This is about doing it quiet, with the sword... You can handle 8."   "You got your 8 walkers. I can push."   "Or we could just go." "You wanna go?" "Nah, we can do this." "Yeah, I know we can."

One more thing I want to touch on before wrapping up. Did you guys notice them kissing each other's hands/wrists? Personally I've got a thing for character's holding hands. I sometimes think it's even more sexy than kissing. So them kissing each other like that already had me fangirling but then I thought about the symbolism. Had it been their left hands, I would've freaked out and said that it was a metaphor for them exchanging rings. It would've furthered my argument that they are married now. However it was their right, dominant hands. These are their stronger hands that they rely on to do everything and to survive by. They are each other's right-hand people. "And having one of those is important." Without them you would be left, to an extent, helpless in this world. They are each other's strength. Think about that for a minute...

[Update: Upon further review, I noticed it is actually Michonne’s left hand. Therefore both metaphors apply. Carry on.]

Even though I think I could discuss this episode until the season ends, I've already gone on for awhile. As a proud Richonner, I give this episode a 5 star rating and highly recommend it for constant rewatch. I really enjoyed the Talking Dead episode too! I loved YNB and Denise Huth’s commentary! Congrats to Jill & Brandan on winning the Ultimate Fan Search! I'll post again some day about how I met Brandan and his mom at the S7 premiere in the Hollywood Forever Cemetery. Until then, that's all I have for you.

Sidenote: I really enjoyed Tara and Judith's scene. I'm a fan of both characters so this scene was really cute to me.

[bothsandneithers]

Day 2318

To experience totality, I took a drive through Kansas, and landed on the couch of my sister, her husband, and their two cats. 

It’s true what they say -- that, unlike a lot of scales ranging from 1 - 100, the difference between a 95% eclipse and a total eclipse is not an arbitrary difference in experience, but rather: everything.  And, even if those two minutes, when the sun was perfectly occluded by the moon, was the most phenomenal thing I saw that week -- there were a number of runner-up phenomena, of acute instances of humanity that could probably be found all over, but are more easily detected in small towns, when the pretenses that fill a larger city are not obscuring the image.

Middle of Kansas

The huge ornate egg stood tall in the town center, with almost enough poise to make one not question why the twenty-two-foot object was even there. The placard said it signified that the small town was the Czech-capital of Kansas. Even though the 2010 census added up all of its inhabitants to be a few shy of 800 people, the town did have a train-station-turned hotel that was in plain sight, once you turned left for a few miles from the freeway, and then right onto a dirt road, littered with skeletons of farms and mercantile buildings.  

In the basement of the hotel was a restaurant, and in the restaurant, everything was a dilemma. I sat at the bar. The glass used for a vodka and lemonade was first too small, and then re-poured into something entirely too large by the bartender. The components of this vodka and lemonade needed to be clarified with the customer by two different servers. The older woman, probably new on the job but maybe not, had a question about every order, every button on the register, and every action that took place between the bar and the small section of three tables she was serving, which was then discussed in depth with either other server, the bartender, or the busboy. 

It looks like you are learning, said the manager, who momentarily stepped into the basement, either not detecting or, more likely, not being distressed by the slow motion movements of all of her earnest employees. 

The busboy busied himself on the other side of the bar. What book are your reading? he asked, with his adolescently long hair, acne, and dirty black baseball cap. He was holding a stack of ten or so pint glasses. It’s turtles all the way down, I thought, even though the imagery didn’t align with any present metaphor. His lower hand firmly gripped the entire rim of the first glass -- making me wonder and hope that he was taking them to be washed. His hand palpitated around the rim as he anxiously talked to me. 

I showed him the cover. It’s called Plainsong. What is it about? he asked. 

I’m not quite sure yet, I just started. I do know that it’s set in a small town, because all of his books are about the same small town near here, in eastern Colorado. I like small towns because there is no posturing. The sky is big, the streets are wide, and people are people. I didn’t say any of this to him, because it sounded as if I were describing a scene in a snow globe. 

I read a lot, he says. Whenever we get a new book in the library, the librarian gives it to me. I’ve read over 300 books. I can’t pronounce the name of the book I’m reading now. There are a lot of words in it that I don’t know. I’m not sure how much longer I’ll be reading it. 

I think it’s always a good idea to walk away from a book you don’t like, I advised him. 

He shrugged and continued on about his school: We share our school with both the middle and elementary school. It’s just so cute to see all of the little kids walk around. It is just so cute. 

The repetition of that phrase seemed out of the ordinary for someone like him, but it’s as if he knew that it would take at least two times before I realized that he was talking to me, an apparent full-fledged adult, who was not only well-versed in the cuteness of small children, but also had enough authority to validate his perception of the little ones in his community. 

His glow subsided a bit when I asked him how many students were in the high school. About 20, he said. We keep losing students to the next town over. We lost four this year. He said with some amount of loss, wrapping up the conversation and his hand tightly engulfed the bottom glass. 

Then he turned away from me to take the stack of glasses where they needed to go; I’m not sure of their final destiny, and I’m not sure if it really matters. 

Middle of Missouri It didn’t have the painstaking detail of the small-town large-egg, but someone had painted a twelve foot pink strawberry on the shed behind us. We sat on a blanket in the field, and behind us was the crop of vegetables that the urban farm that would soon donate to the local food shelters. The sky grew darker, as the moon further eclipsed the sun, and the cicadas started to lose their minds in the rush of cool air. 

The car, that must have noticed the change in light, had turned its lights on. It drove, under the sun and moon, and past us onlookers. To add to the disorientation of feeling as if we were in a time-lapsed version of reality, with the darkness presenting itself in record time, the car gave off the impression of an anachronistic event. It pulled up to a stop sign, turned left away from us and the eclipse, and onward to something else entirely. 

Quarter of Kansas

After making my own journey a few hours west and back into Kansas, I learned of the nearby park and its facilities.

The swimming pool is empty, said the Inn-keeper upon my arrival -- but it doesn’t have to be, she said with some amount of disappointment that extended beyond the pool and on to a systematic misuse of labor and resources in the town. It’s hot for another month -- but all the student employees have already gone back to school. 

The drained swimming pool, which consisted of both laps and a tube slide  -- that, if measured in height was small, but if measured by the number of turns, was moderate in size -- and the large park were divided by a minimally used road and a handful of diagonally painted parking spaces. 

The park contained all sorts of things: A playground, an equestrian arena, old World War II tanks, a rose garden, a gazebo, and a fountain. The air was perfectly warm, and the sun was slanted to remind you that summer nights last a while. To be an outsider, it was refreshing; to be a resident I imagine it could feel a little stifling, though I couldn’t tell you why. 

Within the handful of the diagonally marked parking spaces between the park and the pool, a white Buick was parked. In the next parking spot over, a man and a woman sat in folding chairs. They were old -- probably great-grandparent old. They faced the metal fence, which retained the drained swimming pool. She was crocheting, and he was reading a magazine. He brought a wooden footstool with him, because he had done this before. 

To be deliberately outside; to be faced with systematic mis-handling of a summer that was coming to an end earlier than it had to. I wanted to ask them what they thought of everything, if they knew how unique they were. I’m sure they had regrets. I didn’t care about those. But I wish that I could have asked them what they thought that they would regret, but never did. 

Up-and-Over in Kansas

Mrs. Pratt said that if she could do over, then she would never have moved here from England. 

The house historian reflected on these words that he had found written in a letter to her daughter, as he stared at her travel chest, which had crossed the Atlantic Ocean and arrived at the house in the middle of Kansas over 100 years ago.

We were standing in one of the oldest, and definitely the most carefully restored houses in Kansas, that was built and lived in by Mr. and Mrs. Pratt who had moved here from England. I was standing inside, but a few minutes before that, I was standing outside, thinking I was alone and reading a placard in front of the house. 

You can come in, you know. I heard a man’s voice from inside the  house — over the hedges and behind the screen door. 

Where are you from? He asked. Denver, I said. Oh, I think I’ve heard of that place, he said. Without further ado, he dived into the history of the Pratt’s and the house. It wasn’t intentionally scripted, but he had lived and breathed their life for so long, that none of the words that came out of his mouth hadn’t been recited before. 

He had a deep appreciation for Mr. Pratt, who had impeccable record keeping. He recorded every penny he spent (he was a tightwad, the historian repeatedly said), and even documented the size and sex of every cow that was hit by the train that used to run through this area. The historian owed Mr. Pratt a great deal. It’s anthropologists all the way down, I thought, only partially appreciating the sacredness of one person carefully documenting their life, and the care of someone else, one hundred years later, piecing all of the pieces back together to continue telling the story. 

This chair here broke, and so they took off the back, and used it to practice their needle work, he pointed to a vibrant cross-stitched flowers that looked newer than old.

The house looked old yet maintained. He did all the work himself, of both physically restoring the place, and triangulating information that he had received from his various data sources (and tracking down the original bathtub that had made its way to the farmyard of a neighbor down the street).  

We walked through each of the five rooms, and he described in detail the fixtures, the tin paneling, including how much everything cost. He knew the precise cost of everything, because Mr. Pratt had told him. 

We went into a final room, which doubled as his messy office. This is what the wall paper looked like during different  years, he said, pointing to five 8x8 inch squares, each square going one layer deeper back time. I’m a trained archaeologist, he said. 

We walked around the property and across the pasture, in a manner as if I were interviewing him for a filming of a PBS documentary that nobody would ever see.

Did you watch the eclipse? I asked him. He had mentioned that the last week had been pretty busy because of travelers passing through. 

No, he said. I was out here working. I liked the blueness of the sky, and the softness of the shadows. But, I didn’t watch it.

love,

amy

[remedialmassage]

The Diet That Changed My Life

I was always an obese kid.

One that would eat and drink the same things as my friends, but gain 10 lbs while they somehow stayed young and slim.

Things were this way for many years, then one day I’d finally had enough – I was going to start eating healthy and lose weight.

I thought I’d do this with the typical diet and exercise that everybody was preaching, but no matter how much I ran or how little I ate – the scale would never budge.

Okay, I shouldn’t say never, because there were some times where it’d go down a little bit…

But like every other crash diet, it’d find its way back within a matter of weeks.

This cycle continued until my early 20’s and right when I was about to give up, I came across a new diet.

One that didn’t force me to starve myself or run a marathon to lose a few pounds, and 4 years later… I can say this diet has honestly changed my life.

How This Diet Changed My Life

I’ll get into the details throughout this article, but I like to start with the good stuff first.

The first thing I really noticed was how much fat I was losing. Within 4 weeks I could see a noticeable difference in my body, and it wasn’t just in my face, arms, or legs – I was starting to lose belly fat as well.

That was huge for me as no matter what I did, this was an area that would never budge – even when I was crash dieting.

And on top of that, I was actually working out less. I knew this diet was going to cause some energy issues in the first few weeks, so instead of doing my daily jog or gym workout – I was just walking for an hour a day.

In other words, things were going great…but I was still skeptical.

I’d had a lot of quick success with every other diet I’d tried, but as I mentioned earlier, the weight always found its way back…so I was just waiting for this diet to do the same.

So I waited, and waited, and waited…

Until finally after 12 months, 50 lbs, and a complete body transformation later – I realized there was something different about this diet.

And not just because I was losing weight and could keep it off, but also because I felt amazing.

Every other diet I’d tried had my feeling groggy and hangry after the first couple of weeks, but not this one…this one actually had me feeling energetic, both physically and mentally.

I noticed an immediate boost in my productivity, and after a few weeks of starting this diet – I was actually able to stop taking adderall… AND boost my output while doing so.

In other words, yes – I’m saying a diet helped me overcome my ADHD…something I battled for many years.

And after I started to notice these initial results, the benefits just kept piling in.

I was losing weight, I felt great, I was getting more done…

All things that led to me overcoming the depression and anxiety of being an entrepreneur, and that’s really the main reason why I can say this diet has changed my life for the better.

 Why It Worked Better Than Other Diets

I’m sure you’re somewhat skeptical already, don’t worry…I was too.

I didn’t know how a simple change of diet could lead to amazing results like this, so that’s when I decided I was going to dig in deeper.

Not because I needed to improve it for my own life, but I knew if I was going to start explaining this to family and friends, then I’d need some science to back it up.

So I started out by reading everything I could and documenting my own results, then months later…I had the key benefits of this diet boiled down to 3 main reasons.

1. I was always full

I’ll explain more on this in a second, but the main focus of this diet is to put your body in fat burning mode.

This mode helps hunger in a few different ways, but to keep things simple right now – fat is a longer source of energy and that helps you stay full for a longer period of time. This a much better option than the alternative, glycogen burning mode (carbs), because that burns like jet fuel and makes us constantly wanting more energy.

If you want to get technical, a primary reason for this is because it helps regulate “ghrelin”, the “hunger hormone”, but in layman’s terms – your energy lasts longer and you don’t need as much food.

Then on top of this, once you do hit fat burning mode your body can easily access stored body fat for energy, if needed.

2. Fat burning = making weight loss easy

So I just touched on this a little bit, but when you’re in fat burning mode – it’s pretty easy to burn fat….without starving yourself or strenuous exercise.

Sure exercise is still good and I’d never advise against it, but the main problem with most diets now is that they keep your body in glycogen burning mode and force you to do long workouts to hit fat burning mode.

This diet is different and helps you constantly stay in this state – meaning you don’t really have to workout…it’s just extra brownie points.

This is obviously helpful from a practical standpoint, but I think it also helps with momentum.

It’s hard to keep working out hard every day when you’re not seeing results, but when you don’t have to put a lot of work in and still see results – then well, that makes it pretty easy to keep going.

3. The ketones provide a better source of energy

When we’re in fat burning mode, our body is running off ketones (source of energy created when fat is broken down).

When we’re in glycogen burning mode, our body is running off glucose (source of energy created when carbs, or excess protein, are broken down).

Now either source is fine and we can live either way, but as I mentioned earlier – the source of energy does make a big difference.

There’s a lot that goes into it, but glucose is sugar – and our bodies can only have so much sugar in the blood stream at one time.

So when we exceed that limit, then insulin comes flying in and converts the excess sugar into stored body fat.

Now, this probably doesn’t sound like a big deal, but here’s the problem. Since we can only have so much glucose in the bloodstream, that means we have a limited source of energy that we can survive off of.

In other words, you could eat a day’s worth of carbs in the morning and still be hungry 3 hours later.

Why?

Because all the excess energy has been converted to fat, and since you’re in glycogen burning mode…then well, your body quickly burns the energy that was left and needs more to keep going.

It’s kind of like putting 10 gallons of gas in a 2-gallon tank. The remaining 8 gallons is just going to spill on the ground and once we use up 2 gallons of gas, we need a way to find more.

Then you have ketones, on the other hand, a source of energy that can be derived from dietary and body fat.

I’m sure you’re starting to catch on why this is helpful, but going back to my gas tank analogy…

It’d be like putting 10 gallons of gas in a 2-gallon tank, but having a bucket on the ground to collect the remaining gas that was spilling out.

Then once we ran out of the 2 gallons, all we’d simply have to do is pull out our bucket, fill up again, and continue on the way…without wasting any fuel.

Now, this is obviously a simple way of explaining it, but that’s really how it works. Then on top of that, fat burns slower and that gives you a steady source of energy…

Which is also the main reason why I felt increased productivity throughout my day. In other words, it’s a lot easier to get things done when you can work at a constant pace as opposed to having the roller coaster ride that comes with carbs.

Why Isn’t Everybody Using This Diet?

So even though I had the results to prove it and the science to back it up, I kept getting the same question over and over again…

Why doesn’t everybody use this then?

And that’s a great question, one that’s crossed my mind plenty of times as well.

To be honest, I think this is the part I could talk about in the most detail as it’s the one I’ve had to answer the most…

But out of respect for brevity, the main reason due to misunderstanding.

What I mean by that is that guidelines and rules are great, but the only problem is that they take a long time to change…

And since our dietary guidelines are still based off outdated studies from 40+ years ago, even though they’ve been proven wrong many different times, I think it’s just a matter of time.

Which really is unfortunate, because there’s a lot of great doctors and dieticians out there that think they’re doing the right thing by teaching this outdated advice, and even more people suffering from this outdated advice, but the good news is that there are many doctors starting to see the dangers of this – and I’m thankful to those, because without them…I wouldn’t be in this position today.

So, what is this diet then?

Okay, enough of the tease – this diet is the ketogenic diet.

If you’ve never heard of this diet before, it’s a diet that stresses high amounts of fat, moderate amounts of protein, and low amounts of carbs…

Pretty much the exact opposite of everything we’ve been taught, well – what I was taught anyway.

I grew up thinking that eating fat clogged arteries, made me fat, gave me a heart attack…etc.

But then I started reading real results that showed the exact opposite. In fact, high fat diets were actually raising HDL (the “good” cholesterol) and making LDL (the “bad” cholesterol) go from small and dense, to big and fluffy.

What does that mean?

Well HDL is the cholesterol that comes through and picks up excess LDL, the kind that many think creates clogged arteries.

And since you have more HDL coming through and cleaning house…then well, that actually creates less clogged arteries.

Then on top of that, the LDL is big and fluffy (as opposed to small and dense), meaning you have more good cholesterol coming through and taking care of “easy-to-remove” bad cholesterol…

A win-win all around.

A lot to take in? Don’t worry, I understand. There’s a lot of information out there, but here’s a great article that breaks it down in more detail.

Okay, and the last thing I wanted to mention with this is that it is not the Atkins diet.

Many people associate this with the Atkins diet, and even though they’re very similar…there are a few slight differences that create big results.

And that’s not saying the Atkins diet is wrong, it’s just that he didn’t quite have all the information we have today.

The Atkins diet knew low carb was helpful to people, but the major confusion that most have with this diet is that they think they should eat low carb AND low fat.

I know it makes sense on the surface, but there are a few problems with that.

First, you’ll be starving and nobody survives diets that force you to starve (trust me, I’ve been there many times).

Second, it’ll take longer for your body to get into fat burning mode. Eating high amounts of fat is essential because it tells your body that a new source of fuel is in town, and that’s what will help you reach the ultimate goal – fat burning mode.

How you can take advantage of this diet

So we’ve covered a lot of ground today and it’s impossible for me to pack all this information into one article, but if you wanted to look into this diet more – I wanted to leave you with 5 things that I think everybody should know.

1. In the beginning, it is difficult.

You’re completely changing the primary source of fuel that your body is running on, and any time there’s a major change in the body…it’s going to create some discomfort.

To give you some comparison, I quit smoking cold turkey 4 years ago and when I first transferred over to fat burning mode, it felt very similar to when I quit smoking.

Which I guess makes sense if you think about it, because you really do have to detox from carbs before switching over…

But don’t let that discourage you, once you reach fat burning mode – it’s well worth it.

The most common way people make the switch is nutritionally, meaning they change their diet to eat 80% fat, 15% protein, and 5% carbs.

There are also a few ways to expedite the keto-adaptation phase (transferring to fat burning mode) and skipping over most of the negatives, but those techniques require a lot more detail and can be dangerous if not applied properly – so I don’t want to try and explain them in an article.

2. Try and go for a walk every day

If you do decide to start making the switch, I highly advise going for a walk every day.

And please don’t try and be an overachiever by jogging or running, because in this case – a walk is the best exercise.

Walking is great for turning on your fat burn and you don’t want to put your body through too much stress while making the switch. Intensive exercise like jogging or running has been fueled by glucose in the past, and if there’s no glucose to burn…then well – this can do more harm than good in the initial weeks.

BUT, after those initial weeks are over…feel free to resume your regular activities. Ketones are actually a better source of energy as they require less oxygen, meaning you’ll probably notice an immediate improvement in your performance after making the switch.

3. Consume salt, magnesium, and potassium

A carb heavy diet means there’s always higher insulin levels, and higher insulin levels tells your body to retain more salt and water.

So when you lower your carbs, that lowers your insulin levels and in turn –  your body starts to drain a lot of salt and water.

This is a good thing in the long run, but when you’re making the initial drain you lose a lot of electrolytes, and that creates side effects – like headaches.

These headaches are never fun, but at the same time, they’re easy to take care of.

Just make sure you’re getting a fair amount of sodium, potassium, and magnesium in your diet…and that should take care of most headaches right away.

Personally, I like to add salt in my water and eat avocados, but I’ve heard of some people taking care of this with supplements.

Either way is fine, just remember to look at the entire picture. Most people think of bananas when they hear potassium, and that’s true, but bananas also have a lot of carbs…so eating them will be counterintuitive to your main goal.

The same goes with Gatorade. Gatorade IS full of electrolytes, but it’s also full of sugar, and that will also keep you away from fat burning mode.

4. Eat less meals

Over the recent years, we’ve been told to eat smaller meals more frequently.

This is supposed to help with metabolism and help us achieve our goal of fat burn.

Okay, so there are a few reasons why this mentality will hurt you on your way to becoming keto-adapted…but just remember, we’re trying to increase our fat metabolism – not glucose metabolism.

As we talked about earlier, our body can only handle so much glucose at once, so if you’re in glycogen burning mode…then yeah, I can see how smaller meals are important.

But fat burning mode is a little different. In this mode, it’s important to eat bigger meals less frequently and allow our body to use body fat for fuel if it needs extra.

There’s no specific strategy to follow, but if you want the best route to start – I’d say eat a big breakfast and a big dinner.

And by big, I mean eat enough to where you’re full, but not in a food coma.

5. Look at your daily macros AND your macros by meal

The last common thing that trip up most people are following keto guidelines by day, not meal.

Don’t get me wrong, daily macros are important, but at the same time – if you don’t portion them out correctly…then this can cause some trouble as well.

Remember, ketosis (fat burning mode) stops once your body gets a lot of glucose in the bloodstream. Your muscles use some glucose and that’s why a little bit is okay, but if you eat a carb heavy meal in the morning without much fat…then well, that can easily trick your body into thinking it’s supposed to be in glycogen burning mode.

The usual recommendation for carbs is 20g a day, and if you’re sticking to that amount then you probably won’t run into this problem too often…but the true culprit is almost always protein.

Protein is good for your body and something that you need, but at the same time – if you eat too much protein, your body will convert the excess into glucose…forcing your body to go into glycogen burning mode.

So how do you avoid this then?

The easiest way is to make sure you’re eating at least 1 gram of fat for every gram of protein.

If you can do that with every meal, there’s a good chance your body will help you stay away from eating too much protein.

And if you’re ever in doubt, just add (real) butter. I’ll catch myself doing this a lot when I’m having a meat heavy meal (i.e. steak).

Steak is a great source of protein, but the protein usually outweighs the fat. So to offset this, I’ll simply melt a bunch of butter and dip each bite of steak into this butter…problem solved!

Additional Resources

The last piece of advice that I have, don’t be afraid to read more into this diet.

It’s pretty simple once you get the hang of it, but like everything else…it can be confusing at first.

There’s plenty of forums out there that have a lot of good information (i.e. Reddit)…but if you’re just starting, I highly recommend reading the book Keto Clarity by Jimmy Moore. He does a great job of breaking everything down and explaining it in a way that’s easy to understand.

I’ve also put together a free 5-day video course to help anybody that’s just starting out, so if you’re interested in that – you can find the link in my bio below.

Other than that, if you have any thoughts, questions, or comments – please let me know in the comments section below!

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