#i no longer look like that anymore. it's very jarring. i feel so horrible but then i look and i see.

[therevengeoffrankenstein]

everything horrible but at least my id photo looks great

[its-not-a-phase-mom-i-d8-demons]

The Brother’s Reaction to MC having a Nightmare

bAby

this gif... holy SHIT 

Lucifer

Whether you started the evening snuggled up under his chin or all alone in your room, he’s an extremely light sleeper since he’s got to keep an ear out for Mammon being stupid at 2 am

So when you start to move restlessly and/or whimper and cry, naturally he’ll awaken and see what the issue is

Lucifer will sit up and gently rest a tentative hand on your trembling shoulder, so as not to startle you

His presence only seemed to make it worse! Your tears got bigger and your cries got louder, your breathing became more uneven until you woke with a start, your own shrill scream scaring you into a frightened, crying ball in front of him

Boi is at a loss…

Was this his fault?

“MC, darling, what has gotten into you? Are you alright?”

“L-Lucifer?” You whimper, watery eyes roving aimlessly in the darkness “L-L-Lucifer?! Where are-”

Wrapping his arms around you and pulling you close, he reassures you: “I’m here, right here princess,” “I’ve got you, it was just a dream MC... nothing to worry about.”

Strokes your head, smoothing your rumpled hair and supporting your back while you hide your puffy, tearstained face in his collar and cling to him for dear life until you calm down

You’re still shaking when the usually stiff demon presses a kiss to the crown of your head and begins to rock from side to side, murmuring gentle, reassuring words in your ear

“Nothing can hurt you as long as you’re in my arms, MC.” “Deep breaths my love, deep breaths…”

Mammon’s vivid scary stories before bed had obviously been a bad decision, Lucifer decided as he dabbed your cheeks with a kleenex

his poor, sweet human having nightmares about silly campfire tales…

How endearing, yet upsetting

He’ll carry you to the kitchen bridal style and hold you close after getting you a glass of water, then carry you back to bed and tuck you safely against his broad chest for the rest of the night making a mental note to hang Mammon upside down from the banister the following morning

Mammon

He woke up from his dream about goldie who had read “∞” on the ATM and opened his door in answer to the frantic knock to find his favorite human crying

You rushed into his arms, burying your face in his chest to hide your shuddering sobs, nearly sending the now blushing Avatar of Greed off balance in your haste

“Jeez, human! Wha… What happened? Why’re ya crying like that?”

No, like seriously, plz stop crying babie or he’s gonna cry too

Returns the hug, holding MC firmly as he regains his footing and manages to shut the door behind you

“MC, sssh, I’m right here! You don’t hafta worry, ok? Luckily you’ve got the best demon on the job to make ya feel better! Hug me as hard as ya need, ok?”

*forehead and cheek smooches*

Lets you curl up in his lap until you can talk to him without stuttering or choking on tears

Holds you the whole time, almost as if he’s afraid to let go for fear you’ll cry again

“Bad dream? What was it about?”

���Th-Those characters from Levi’s horror game w-were eating you alive and I c-couldn’t move!” You whimper tearfully, “You were begging me for help a-and I couldn’t do anything to save you from them because every time I moved th-these ropes got t-tighter around my neck a-an-”

First of all, he’s horrified that Levi showed you those games when he knew they gave you nightmares. Unfortunately, you had to if you didn’t want to be called a normie for the billionth time that week

Second, he, the great Mammon, begging a mere human for help? Yeah right

Even though he knew in his heart of hearts that that would definitely be the case

“They’re not real, remember that. And if you still think those freaks are lurking in the dark, come find me and the great Mammon will protect you!”

You can't help but giggle and hug him more tightly, knocking him back onto his pillow

Neither of you felt like moving, so Mammon pulls the sheets up over your shoulders and you snuggle together until the morning comes

At the breakfast table, Mammon doesn’t hesitate to screech at Levi for giving you nightmares while cradling your tired, sleep-deprived body against him

Leviathan

Doesn’t hear MC’s knock at first, he’s too absorbed in the 14th episode of I Was Eating Avocado Salmon Sushi at a Hundred-Yen Revolving Sushi Restaurant When Suddenly I Was Thrown Back in Time a Thousand Years to the Heian Era, Where I Was Selected to Be a Personal Chef for a Princess and Was Later Chosen as a Possible Candidate to Be Her Husband… Now someone Please Tell Me How That’s Even Possible

As the knocking gets louder and more frantic, the otaku finally notices and pauses the anime, goes to the door and opens it a tiny bit

Just enough to see the teary-eyed MC, hugging their waist in discomfort, shivering in fear, and looking left and right down the hall for danger

“... Yeah?”

“L-Levi? C-Can I come in? *sniff* I just had a really scary dream-”

“I-uh… Ummm I g-guess,”

He lets you in and on a whim, places a tentative hand on your back

He expected you to push him away, but when you choked and rushed into his half-open arms and buried your face in his chest, leviachan.exe has stopped working

EXIT

What was he supposed to do with his hands?!?!??

MC was crying and he was just standing there like a normie? Wh… WhAt wOULd HenRy dO?

“MC, h-hey, it cant’ve been that bad… here, um let’s s-sit down a-and you can talk to me. Sound good?”

He feels you nod and leads you to his large gaming beanbag chair and you get squooshed against his side, shivering and sniveling, but warm and safe

Levi dries your face with the edge of his shirt and after a few moments of comfortable silence, you begin to explain your dream

The slimy creatures scaling the walls of the House of Lamentation with their slimy entrails dripping whitish goo in their wake. Eight spindly legs to each monster, sixteen sinister red eyes, and countless rows of gleaming fangs ready to take a chunk out of anyone who came too close

They managed to get into the house and they chased you and the brothers, but the otaku had tripped over a fallen suit of armor and a spider creature made its move before he could get away

At that point, you’d woken up absolutely terrified and rushed to see if Levi was ok

“But you’ve played horror games with me and we watched My Sister and I Found a Spider and Took It Home, Realizing Soon After it Was a Demon Who Eventually Escaped From the Glass Jar We Used for a House and Ate Our Toes, Transporting Us To Hell Where We Were F-”

“Yeah… I know… B-But it wasn’t that bad. I was reading one of the books Satan recommended. It was a really well-written horror story and it had very realistic pictures. I just can’t seem to get those gross monsters out of my head:(”

Your voice slowly trailed off and Levi realized what he had accomplished

You… You weren’t crying anymore!!

Also, you weren’t breathing really hard or shaking too much! Had… had this yucky otaku really calmed the human down?

*gasp* he was rubbing your back too!? And you hadn’t slapped his icky hands away?

You… you were ok with this? B-Being all snuggled up together on the beanbag chair?

“L-Levi, I-I’m ok now. I’ll leave you alone… I hope I didn’t wake you up…”

“N-No!”

“Something wrong?”

“No… I-um,” (he couldn’t let you get away now! This was perfect! He had you all to himself!! No WAY was he gonna screw this up!!) “You c-can stay a little longer if you’d like… I-I was in the middle of I Was Eating Avocado Salmon Sushi at a Hundred-Yen Revolving Sushi Restaurant When Suddenly I Was Thrown Back in Time a Thousand Years to the Heian Era, Where I Was Selected to Be a Personal Chef for a Princess and Was Later Chosen as a Possible Candidate to Be Her Husband… Now someone Please Tell Me How That’s Even Possible… Do you maybe want to stay and watch?”

“You don’t mind? I don’t want to intrude-”

“No! It’s fine!”

And so he fumbled with the remote and hit the play button, but couldn’t focus on a single word the protagonists were saying

You. Fell. Asleep.

On. Him.

Uh

“Maybe… Maybe MC doesn’t think I’m a… ‘yucky otaku’ after all… But don’t get your hopes up, Levi.”

Satan

He fell asleep in his chair, book resting on his chest when he heard a short, quick (almost frantic) string of taps on his door

Being a light sleeper (just like his papa), he immediately woke up to hear your voice on the other side of the door

“Satan? Are… Are you awake? *sniffle*”

It was you

What could you possibly want at this hour?

Upon opening the door, your body crashed into his own, but not before impulsively throwing your arms around his neck and breaking down on his shoulder

“M-MC? Are you alright?”

No, you weren’t

Judging by your stormy sobs and trembling figure, something must have shaken you up horribly for you to act like this

The sweet MC he knew usually kept their cool

He leads you to his big armchair and sits you down, careful to keep a firm hand on your back for support, both emotional and physical

Your eyes were wide and glassy, pupils darting to each corner of the room looking for monsters, bad demons, giant bugs, etc.

Finding none, you finally make shy eye contact with the blonde demon who has kept his arms close about you and dabbed your endless tears away until you were calm enough to speak

“MC, did you have a night terror or something?”

“*sniffle* M-hm. I-I’m sorry S-Satan, I was just so scared I c-couldn’t stay in my room all alone and you were the first person I thought of. So… I ran here. Did I wake you?”

“I fell asleep in my chair again MC. So I would have awakened during the night anyway,” He replied, “Plus, I don’t mind at all. I’m… I’m happy you came. What was your dream about?”

“It was really twisted… are you sure you want to know?”

“You’ll feel better when you talk about it and I’m always up for a story.” He smiled.

He sat back in his chair tentatively resting your head on his chest as you began describing the terrors from only minutes before

“Asmodeus and I, we watched some of those cringey teen romance movies this afternoon and somehow they morphed into a really scary dream. You and I, the rest of your brothers, the angels, Solomon, Diavolo, and even Barbatos were playing spin the bottle for some reason and I landed on you, but when I kissed you, you turned to dust! Th-Then when I landed on Mammon and Beel, the s-same thing happened again, but no one seemed to notice! Th-”

Noticing you were getting worked up again, Satan rubbed soothing circles into your back, hushing you gently and assuring you that everything was fine and ‘innocent’ kissing games weren’t actually deadly

Unless they were

But he didn’t mention that to you at that moment

Instead, he cradled you in his lap and read to you until your eyelids began to droop once more for some much-needed sleep

Being the good boy he is, he tucked you into his bed

BUT

Before he could walk back to his chair

“Satan, aren’t… aren’t you gonna lay with me?” You ask, tired, sweet voice ringing in his ears, “I-If you don’t mind that is. I mean it is your bed, after all, I didn’t mean t-”

He’s blushing up to his ears at your request, but nonetheless rolls onto the mattress next to you and you snuggle up close and fall asleep almost instantly

“As long as you’re here with me, you’ll be safe MC.”

Asmodeus

Why… Why was he up so early? What was that noise? Wait… Where were you?

He could’ve sworn he fell asleep with you in his arms

Sitting up groggily he looked around after rubbing the crust of sleep from his eyes

Something was moving and whimpering next to him, caught in a snare of fluffy blankets

The fearful cries of “Asmodeus! Oh, Asmo please don’t die! No, no, no, NO!!” broke the sweet demon’s heart

Your ragged breathing turned to a blood-curdling scream and you shot upright, but the blankets blocking your vision increased your tearful unease tenfold and you began struggling even harder against them

Taking action, Asmo tugged at the sheets, doing everything he could to help you

When your face emerged from the heap, you took a great gasp of air and immediately began sobbing your heart out

Asmo paused, knowing it unwise to approach someone who’d just escaped the clutches of a nightmare, but he couldn’t just sit there and stare at you!

Luckily, you chose that moment to look around

Your eyes met his amber ones in the semi-darkness and you tackled him, wrapping him in an impossibly tight hug

“A-ASMO!”

“Darling, wh-”

“Oh my god! I thought I killed you! I r-ruined your pretty face! You just sh-shriveled up a-and-”

“Sweetheart, hey~” He murmured, closing his arms around your back and cradling the back of your head in his hand, “Don’t cry anymore, Asmo’s here…”

His gentle comforting coos as he rocked from side to side brought your tears to a halt and soon you were able to look him in the face

Your glassy, frightened eyes had almost a look of reverence when you ever so slightly cupped your palm over his cheek, afraid he would crumble away at your caress once more

When he didn’t, you let out a shaky sigh of relief and visibly relaxed; shoving your face in his shoulder and wrapping your legs and arms around him so he couldn’t escape

It was quiet for a moment

Asmodeus settled his forearms around your waist and said

“Dearest, are you alright?”

“I… I don’t know.”  You fisted his shirt in your palms and looked at him, “That was a really vivid one.”

“Tell me what it was about!” He smiled sympathetically and stroked your cheek, “I have bad dreams sometimes too, MC. If you tell me yours I’ll tell you a few of mii-iiine!”

You couldn’t help but crack a small grin as his sweet tone and nod

“Yesterday Beel told me about the one time he touched Satan’s favorite plant. He’d seen Satan pet the stalk and petals before and he wanted to do it too. (Satan is a plant dad, fight me) But when he touched it, it shriveled up and died on the spot. I… I had a dream where I touched you and you shriveled up! I tried to help you, but every time I touched you, you screamed in pain! Then… Then you died in my arms and I woke up.”

:(

You clung to the demon as he moved, lost in thought. Settling back into the abundant pillows and tugging a sheet over your shoulders, he began to speak

“That sounds absolutely terrifying! What would you do without me?”

“Asmo…”

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding!” He nuzzled your cheek and hugged you tighter, “Why don’t we find a way to help you forget about it? I have a couple of suggestions… if you’d like to hear them~”

Beelzebub

He’d only been gone for a minute… or four… maybe five…? Right?

Why were you writhing around like that? You sounded like a lost little puppy and… were those tears?

“MC? Are you awake?”

No reply, just your continued whines of discontent and a steady stream of tears soaking the pillow

He dropped his snacks on the floor and carefully knelt on the edge of the mattress, putting a gentle hand on your forehead

Lucifer used to do that when he was sick, long ago when they still lived in the celestial realm. Maybe it would help you? Somehow? Hopefully?

The strangled sob that fell from your lips as you forced his hand away broke his big heart in two

Hold on, your eyes were closed! Wait, you were having a bad dream!

Throwing all caution to the wind (and not knowing the consequences of waking someone in this state) and began shaking you rather roughly, scaring you awake and making you bonk heads when you sat up too quickly

Now you were crying for more reasons than one

Your head hurt, two big scary hands had your shoulders in a tight grip, there was a large figure looming over you in the dark, your dream was still raging and replaying in your head, and it was really dark and uncomfortably warm

Even in the dim light, Beel witnessed the look of pure terror that crossed your face

You thought his heart was broken? Well it just fucking shattered

You were scared? Of him?

“MC, it’s just me! Don’t be afraid!”

He’d woken you up, but apparently he’d only made things worse…

Beel is vewy sowwy :(

Those lovely amethyst eyes…

“B… Beeley?”

“MC? I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you, I didn-”

You silence the ginger demon by throwing yourself into his arms in unparalleled relief, afraid you hadn’t really woken up and the shadow of your favorite brother was just MC’s Nightmare, Continued

Happy you’re in his arms, he squeezes back with all his might and burying his face in your shoulder

“I just had the worst nightmare Beel. I’m so happy you’re here…” You murmur, wiping your nose on your sleeve.

“Is your head ok?”

“M-hm.”

The pair of you sit in comfortable silence for a few moments, Beel offers you a tissue to dry your face, but you can’t seem to stop crying

“MC, maybe if you told me about it, you’d feel better!”

His sweet, honest smile made you melt

But the contents of your dream… You looked guiltily toward the bed on the other side of the room where you knew the Avatar of Sloth was sleeping peacefully

“You… You promise not to tell Belphie?”

“What do you mean?”

“W-Well I dreamt about that time… you know… when he killed me? He gave me a hug before bed like he always does a-and I love Belphie’s hugs but I can’t help but think about... that. I feel bad, it’s the same as holding a grudge! I’m sorry Beel.”

*insert pikachu face meme* = beel

“Why are you apologizing? It’s not your fault you had the dream.”

“I know… I feel bad though. Did I wake you up?” You ask, changing the subject.

“Nuh-uh. I was already up grabbing snacks.” He pointed to the untidy pile a few feet away. “Maybe some TSL and food will bring your smile back. Don’t worry about your dream MC, the secret is safe with me. Plus, you’re only human and I guess being killed would be really scary for you. I didn’t protect you that time, but if anyone ever tries to hurt you again, I’ll be there before you can say Burgers from Akuzon, ok?”

The smile lifts your lips before he finishes his sentence warms his heart and puts a happy smile on his own as you give him a final squeeze and whisper

“Thanks a lot, Beeley.”

Belphegor

It is said the Avatar of Sloth could sleep through anything, even the loudest storm and the echoes of 4th of July from the human world

But when the precious human cuddled up in his arms every night begins to move around and/or whimper in fear, Belphegor is awake in minutes only to find you squirming away from him and begging to some invisible entity “Just… Just d-don’t hurt them! I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry, please don’t hurt me I-”

The seventh born is squeezing your hand and whispering encouragement in your ear, telling you you’re safe and that it’s just a dream

Slowly opening your eyes you look around, still terrified and jumpy from your vision, but the warm hand intertwined with yours and the comforting arm around your back, plus the familiar scents of the twins’ room slowly bring you back to reality

“MC?”

“Belphie? I-Is that you?”

“Who else would it be, dummy.”

You ignore the half hearted insult and bury your face in his chest, allowing your heart to reach a normal pace and his natural scent and warmth to wash over you

“Tell me about it. Sounded pretty scary.”

“I’m sorry for waking you up Belphie, I know how you hate losing sleep…”

“Just… Be quiet and tell me your dream!”

“S-Sorry… Um, so I didn’t know you too well yet and an angel came and took the precious grimoire, but me and Beel were caught up in it and there was this whole thing with Purgatory Hall and Luke and-”

“Your stories can put me right to bed you know that? Anyway, so what happened? Did Lucifer tear the angel’s head off?” He looked rather hopeful…

“Of course not! Lucifer was gonna make me choose who I wanted to save, either Beel or Luke and I didn’t want either of them to get hurt so I said ‘both’ and Lucifer got really mad and scary and in my dream he ended up hurting Luke and Beel and he would’ve gotten me if you hadn’t woken me up.”

“You’re welcome.”

“... *sigh* Thanks for listening Belphie.”

With a sigh of his own, he pulled you into his arms, resting his chin on your shoulder

“It was just a dream. You don’t have to be afraid, you know. I’m right here for you. Always.”

“Aww, than-”

“Forget I said that! Shut up and go to sleep!”

[cocoswriting]

lee wilbur, ler techno? maybe smth where wilbur’s being chaotic so techno takes him down a peg? you dont have to tho— /gen

Chaotic Mf

Summary; Basically what the ask says; Wilbur was being chaotic/creepy and needed to be taken down a peg. [PLATONIC. DO NOT TAG AS SHIP.]

Warning(s); This is a tickle fic! If you don’t like that kind of stuff, then I recommend you just scroll past.

“You put ecosystems in jars?..”

“Yeah,” Wilbur responded casually, laying upside-down on the couch opposite Techno. He had his legs curled over the back of the couch and his head was dangling off the edge—it was a wonder how he hadn’t gotten uncomfortable enough to shift positions yet. Wilbur seemed to have a strange habit of never sitting correctly when he was in one of his “chaotic” moods, always finding some weird way to rest instead. “I go out and collect mud, rocks, soil, and I put them inside the jar.” he explained, and Techno scrunched up his face both in confusion and mild disgust.

“And... this is a normal thing?” Techno asked disbelievingly, flipping a page in the book he had in his hands, though it wasn’t as if he was paying much attention to the text anymore. Wilbur nodded happily from across the room, grinning as he opened his mouth to continue explaining, only to get cut off by Techno. “Wil, I don’t really care. I’m tryn’ to read right now.”

Wilbur huffed and crossed his arms over his chest, pouting in fake dismay and staring at Techno almost expectantly, even though the piglin was very clearly no longer looking at him. “Well, you should care,” the brunet replied with a sassy tone of voice, sounding akin to an annoyed child. “I swear I’m not the only one who does this! Ranboo does it too, or at least he did...”

“Ranboo did that—?... No, Wilbur, really, just talk about literally anythin’ else. I do not care about your jar ecosystems,” Techno was already used to dealing with Wilbur’s chaotic moods. They’d come in at random times, last a couple hours, and then eventually he’d lose all the excess energy he had and go back to “normal.” So it wasn’t as if he actually expected Wil to stop when he was told to—Techno knew he wouldn’t—but he figured he might as well try to change the topic that Wilbur would ramble on about. Honestly, Techno just wanted to read his book. “Can’t you bother someone else? It isn’t that late, Phil and Tommy are still up.”

Wilbur let out a loud, dramatic sigh followed by a shake of his head and a couple tutting sounds. “You’re no fun,” his tone was playful, indicative of the grin that was on his face, despite his words suggesting otherwise. “But fine! I’ll talk about something else.” Wilbur rolled himself over on the couch, sitting upright and then standing up to make his way over to the man sitting across from him. Techno tore his eyes away from the book and glanced up when he realised Wilbur had approached, raising an eyebrow and glaring half-heartedly at the musician.

“What?” Techno’s voice sounded tired, more tired than usual, but bore no real malice as he impatiently awaited Wilbur’s response.

“Have you ever seen Doctor Who?”

“Oh my god,” Techno looked down and rubbed his temples, dropping the book beside him and running one of his hands through his hair, groaning loudly. He heard Wilbur’s shrill laugh at his reaction, which was shortly followed by the sound of shuffling as he sat down next to the piglin and crossed his legs, seemingly prepping himself to start telling whatever story he wanted to tell Techno about. “Please.”

“I already told Phil about this one,” Wilbur began, biting back another laugh at Techno’s long sigh which came straight after. “So, there are these things called ‘weeping angels—!” Wil was quickly cut off by a rough jab to his side. He managed to force back any verbal reactions he might have given to the sudden electric tingly feeling that spread all throughout his side, but he couldn’t conceal the very obvious flinch and curling of his lips.

“You good?” Techno asked, having removed his hands from his face to shoot his brother a concerned glance. Wilbur felt heat rush to his face, but he couldn’t tell whether he’d paled, or gone red. “Did you...” He shifted closer to the brunet, cocking his head to one side. “You flinched,” The elder stated quite obviously, expression a mixture of curiosity and interest.

“You caught me off-guard,” Wilbur quickly stammered out, a sheepish half-smile spreading over his face. Techno frowned—and it was clear from just that gesture that he wasn’t buying it.

Techno placed one hand on his side and left it there, unmoving. Wilbur didn’t flinch that time, but he wanted to, his flustered state having raised his hypersensitivity to the point where he wanted to squirm even just imagining that Techno might find out. “I was just tryin’ to shut you up, you needa’ tell me what happened or I’ll assume that you’re hurt,” Techno said, beginning to slowly rub two(2) fingers in small circles on Wilbur’s side. The last part of his sentence came off as more of a threat to his brother—he didn’t want to worry Techno, but at the same time, getting found out like this would be so embarrassing.

“I-I’m not—“ Wilbur was cut off by a quiet gasp, but not quiet enough for Techno to let slip. One of Techno’s ears twitched at the sound and he made a gruff huffing noise, now reaching down to tug up the hem of his brother��s sweater, exposing the bottom half of his side. “Hey, I’m not hurt, okAY—!” Techno, being the oblivious bastard he was, began to rub gentle circles on Wilbur’s bare side, which elicited a comical noise sounding like a mix between a squeal and a yelp from the man. As Wil managed to squirm away from the tingles, butterflies erupted in his belly when he thought; there’s no getting out of this now.

Silence filled the room for a couple seconds, the gears turning in Techno’s head before it finally clicked, and he couldn’t help the smug expression that formed on his face when he realised what Wilbur had been trying to hide. “You’re ticklish,” he emphasised the ‘T-word’, causing Wilbur’s face to heat up even more, and the fact that Techno’s hand still remained hovering just ever-so-slightly above his side, was not helping. “How come I didn’t know this before? You keepin’ secrets from me, hm?” Techno shoved both of his hands up Wilbur’s shirt and gently ran his nails up and down his skin, eliciting a few snickers along with squeaks and he tried to muffle his giggles.

Wilbur frantically shook his head ‘no’ and looked down, his hair falling in front of his face and (thankfully) hiding his bright pink cheeks. Tingles and shockwaves of tickly sensations shot up his sides, the feeling only increasing the longer Techno’s fingers lingered in the same spot. “Well— you’re definitely much quieter now,” Techno remarked, and Wilbur opened his mouth to give a sassy response, only for a loud squeak to come out instead as the gliding nails began to gently scratch at each side of his back. He arched forward but shifted backwards, resting his back against the armrest and laying down. Wil had hoped this would quell the sensations at least a little, but it only made them worse, the little scratches becoming rougher as Techno’s fingers got trapped. “This seems like a good way to take you down a peg whenever you’re in one of your ‘chaotic’ moods.”

“N-no—hohahahaa!” As Techno moved his hands up to Wilbur’s ribs, he couldn’t hold it back anymore. High-pitched giggles flooded from Wilbur’s lips as he wriggled and squirmed, throwing his head back as his hands switched between trying to protect the targeted spots and trying to push Techno away. It wasn’t exactly working out for him, and eventually he just curled up, hoping to drown out the tickles somehow. It only got worse once he felt Techno begin to drill his thumbs into the spaces between each of the bones. “NOHO! DOHohon’t dohoho thahahat, plehehehahase!”

As Techno gazed down at the giggling boy, he’d be lying if he said his heart didn’t melt at the sight of his bright, carefree smile. “Why not?~” His tone of voice was still deadpan, but it had a sing-songy edge to it this time. If Wilbur had the guts to muster up insults at the time, he would’ve called him every name in the book just as revenge for the horrible teases. “Does it tickle too much? Surely you can’t be that ticklish, right?~” Every time the T-word was mentioned Wilbur felt the pit in his stomach fill with more butterflies, and his blush began to slowly spread out to his neck and ears. “It’s your own fault for bein’ annoyin’.”

“Ihihihi wahahasn’t beheheing ahahannoying!” Wilbur insisted, his giggles slowly increasing as Techno’s fingers danced their way up his ribs, heading for his armpits. But before they could reach the spot, he instinctively slammed his arms down to protect himself, blocking the offending hands just in time. It seemed that Techno took this defensive action as provoking, because his immediate response to that was to sigh disappointedly and start skittering around Wil’s neck and shoulders, causing him to scrunch up like a turtle and begin to wriggle side-to-side in a weak attempt at escaping the tickles. “Nohohoho! Fuhuhuahahack ohohoff— yohohou’re sohoho mehehehehahan!”

“Mean? This isn’t mean,” Wilbur could hardly make out Techno’s words anymore, considering he was much more focused on the shocks of tickles and his own embarrassment. But once he heard those words leave his brother’s lips, he couldn’t help but start squirming even harder on top of squeezing his eyes shut. He couldn’t process what the words meant in his state—but he’s heard that tone before. And that tone means ‘you fucked up’. “You wanna see mean?” Techno asked rhetorically and Wilbur began frantically shaking his head, letting out giggly little “nononono”s as he tensed, prepping himself for the inevitable attack that would come next.

“AAAHAA!” Wilbur shrieked as he felt Techno’s lips make contact with his tummy, quickly followed by an explosion of tickles as he blew a raspberry, shaking his head during it to make it even worse. Wil bucked, cackled and squealed, only for his hips to get held down and mercilessly drilled into by two(2) of Techno’s fingers. All of his nerves felt like they were on fire, and he felt everything—every last pinch to his hips, every raspberry that was blown, and it was almost too much for him to handle. But he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t loving it. “NAHAHAHAAA! TEHEHEHAHAHAHA—!”

Even after Techno ceased the raspberries, he still seemed fully intent on being as merciless as possible. He continued to drill right into the dip of Wilbur’s hipbone, using his other hand to rapidly squeeze his tummy, never letting up and never slowing down. Wilbur had completely given up on trying to fight back, his arms were too tired for that now and he knew it was no use, so instead he began using his hands to cover his bright pink face with. “Oh, poor Wilbur,” Techno began, a very obviously feigned sympathetic tone in his voice. “Being tickled is just such a hard job.”

“SHUHUAHAHAT UHUHUHUP!” Wilbur forced out through his hysterics, helplessly rolling his torso back and forth, attempting to focus his attention on literally anything else other than the tickles he was receiving. He couldn’t decide if he loved or hated it—it was unbearable and maddening, he felt like he was being driven up a wall, but at the same time he had to admit that he was having fun. He was soaking up all the attention like a sponge. It didn’t take much longer before his laughter became wheezy and strained, though, and he’d decided he had enough. “O-OHOHOKAHAY! STOHOHAHAHAHAP, THAHAHAHAT’S ENOHOHOHOUGH—!”

Techno listened straight away, ceasing the tickles and backing away as Wilbur curled in on himself, hugging his midsection while trying to rid of the after-tingles that still remained. “You alright?.. was it too much?” Techno asked, reaching over to deliver a couple, comforting pats to Wilbur’s head. He would’ve leaned away if it weren’t for how exhausted he was from all his laughter. “...sorry,”

“N-noho, noho... it,” Wilbur knew he should be careful with his choice of words there. He didn’t want to give away how much he’d actually enjoyed himself, but at the same time, he was well aware he’d likely given that fact away while being tickled. He supposed there was no point in lying—especially if it would risk making Techno worry over nothing. “...wahas nice.”

There was no response for a couple seconds, but then the silence was interrupted by a snort coming from Techno, and Wilbur instantly knew what he would have found amusing. But as Techno gently ran his fingers through his hair, practically soothing Wilbur to sleep, he found he didn’t care as much as he did before.

They should do this again sometime.

[le0watch]

langa grimaces as he steps out of his carriage, shoes chuffing against the pavement ground. the sounds of downtown london fills his ears, ranging from the chitchat of workers and civilians to the clomping of horse's hooves on the streets. it's raining today- of course it has to be raining. why wouldn't it be on his already least favorite day of the week?

his servant steadily holds an umbrella over his and his mother's heads to keep the raindrops from drenching them. he, of course, isnt saved from getting wet, but this is his job. langa will just make sure to pay him extra for his work this month, and make sure that he doesn't catch a cold from the cool breezes brushing by.

today, he and his mother are visiting the busy streets of london per her request. since langa's father died and the large erikson heritage was passed down to langa, shes been asking him for numerous favors, including this weekly walk through the busy, muggy streets of london.

now, langa doesn't hate the people or the peasants or whatever you want to call them. he's just not a fan of the constant rain and loud chatter of said people around him. they're all incredibly loud and irritating, and sometimes he'd like them to be quiet while he and his mother are there. but that's not the point of their trips. his mother came from poverty before langa's father had found her and fallen for her, before he'd proposed to her. moving from japan to england during this time had given his mother a horrible disadvantage against any of the nobility or even white people of the lower classes.

but his father had been infatuated with her, and she became infatuated by him. they married for love, a rare occurence these days. then, they'd had him, and he loved his large home and the days he spent with his mother in the garden or the days he went with his father to the various horse stables they owned.

he can't visit the stables with his father anymore, however. because his father died a year ago, leaving their large fortune on the shoulders of langa, barely old enough to chose what happens with that wealth.

he insists in private that his mother make mistakes of the financial decisions, since he's still in the process of learning his family's buisness. she agreed to do it, in exchange for trips to the busy streets of london, where they could make donations to small charities or poor families that need the help.

honestly, it's a win win situation for langa. he doesn't have to fully handle the responsibilities of his family's fortune, and he has always wanted to help the poor, like his father. because when his father was living, he would hold monthly giveaways of some of their stables' foals to the poorest of the city.

other families of nobility often turned their noses up at what langa's father did for the poor, not that his father ever cared.

that's what probably got him killed.

"where shall we visit first, mother?" langa asks, holding his arm out for her take. she loops her arm through his, smiling up at him for his manners.

"i was thinking the orphanage down the road," she replies as they begin to walk. their servant- kaoru, langa's favorite servant and teacher- follows close behind to keep the umbrella over their heads the entire time. he wants to tell kaoru that he could cover himself with his own umbrella, but he already knows that he would be denied. kaoru has always been very serious about his job.

"as you wish," he says with a small smile.

their visit to the orphanage is longer than they'd originally intended. the owner of the orphanage needed help moving some heavier objects and boxes, and so langa had stepped in. she was instantly grateful to him, and only became moreso when he handed her a large wad of cash.

"thank you so much, mister erikson," she said, bowing low to him. his mother was in the background, entertaining the children. "are you sure there's no way we can repay you?"

"you can by taking care of the sick children here," langa replied, and she nodded eagerly.

they'd left soon afterwards, kaoru waiting outside for them. his long, pink hair is pulled back in a ponytail today, and he's wearing his favorite kamino. he was also born in japan, like his mother, and had been a friend of hers before she'd moved here. he moved not long after her, and she hired him as their servant and langa's tutor. he's been around for as long as langa could remember.

suddenly, there's a flash of red ahead of them, and a kid- not of the orphanage- rams into his side, knocking them both over in the process. langa hits the muddy ground with a grunt, before the kid is apologizing profusely, bowing his head continuously. he's in scrappy clothes, and is soaked to the bone.

"it's fine," langa tells him, and the kid relaxes. "don't worry about it." he wipes the mud from his shirt as kaoru helps him stand, and his mother hurries over to look him over. they're all soaked at this point.

"sorry again!" the kid exclaims, before running off.

with langa's donation wallet in hand.

normally, langa wouldnt bat an eye at stolen money. his family's wealth is nearly endless. but that's the money he's using for his trip with his mom today- and he doesn't have anything extra. he doesn't want to cut this trip short- his mom loves it too much.

he takes off after the kid without much thought, ignoring the calls from his mother and servant. the kid lets out a loud laugh once he notices he's being chased, before two more kids that look identical to him fall in step behind him. langa's eyes widen- they have this thought out.

they end up running through twisting alleyways, and langa is hardly keeping up. every time he gets close, they duck away or slide around another corner, throwing him off. he grits his teeth together, lungs beginning to burn from the exertion.

the kids run across a crowded street, easily weaving through its crowded traffick. langa skids you a stop just before crossing, before giving chase once more. he reaches a hand out, about to grab one of the buggers- when they suddenly leap at a building's front, scaling its side like a ladder. he stops in his tracks, gaping as they reach the roof, pointing at his with laughter.

he's so busy gaping, he doesn't even notice he's still standing in the middle of busy traffick until a coachman is shouting at him to move, with the horses screeching with terror. his heart stops beating- oh god, he's about to die like his father had, leaving his mom all alone. he already knows he won't be able to move in time.

but then something- or rather, someone- crashes into his back, knocking him to safer ground instantly. the horses and carriage roar past where he'd just been, and he pants on the ground, the person who'd saved his life still over him.

"wow- you nearly died," the person- man- above him says between pants, finally peeling away from him. langa pushes up with shaking arms, bruises and scrapes burning at his skin. geez, kaoru is going to kill him- he ripped his pants. he then looks up at his savior, and all thoughts leave his mind.

the most gorgeous man he's ever seen sits in front of him, soaked curly hair still a brilliant shade of bright red, poking out from the under side of a grey ball cap. his eyes are a beautiful honey amber, shining with mischief and a kind soul. his tan skin is peppered with freckles, along the cheeks on his face and his shoulders and forearms. he has a crooked grin as bright as the sun- making langa almost believe that it had stopped raining and the clouds had opened up. he's wearing a thin and torn short sleeved shirt, a pair of suspenders over his shoulders keeping his pair of black pants up.

lord have mercy on langa's soul. he's already fallen for the stranger that had saved his life. it didn't even matter that he was a man. langa could feel his heart thudding in his chest, and heat gathering in his cheeks. he can't even respond. luckily, the man- around his age- does it for him.

"lucky i was there to save your ass, huh?" he says with a bright chuckle. he has the same accent as his mother's and kaoru's, with a similar facial structure to both. he must be from japan too, then. langa opens and closes his mouth like a fish out of water, and the redhead's grin only widens. he reaches a hand out, wiping a splotch of mud from langa's paper white cheek. the heat in langa's cheeks worsens. the redhead then looks up at the roof where the kids are still perched at, watching with wide eyes. "they took something of yours, huh?"

"y- yeah," langa replies shakily, wanting to hit himself for sounding so pathetically like a schoolgirl with a crush. the guy doesnt seem to take notice- either that, or he doesn't point it out.

"right. be right back," the redhead says, before slipping past langa and leaping onto the side of the building. the kids at the top screech with surprise, before disappearing just as the redhead reaches the top, leaping over while calling, "tom, rick, toby- get your asses back here!"

horrifyingly, the kids leap from one rooftop to the next, somehow not slipping and falling off the edge. and even more horrifyingly, the redhead follows with amazing grace, landing perfectly, grabbing to of the kid's by their shoudlers. the third stops, dropping his head like a kid caught with their hand in the cookie jar.

"right. which of you have it," the redhead asks, loud enough for langa to hear. langa is surprised by the strength the redhead has- he's able to lift two children clear off the ground without much effort. his arms aren't shaking or wavering at all! the kids don't answer, pouting. "don't make me talk to your mum about this-"

"toby has it!" two of the kids cry out at the same time, and the third glares at them both with betrayal.

the redhead sets the two kids he's holding back down, and holds his hand out expectantly. the kid- toby- pouts some more before relunctantly dropping langa's wallet into the redhead's hand.

"thank you very much," the redhead says, pocketing langa's wallet. he points at each kid individually. "i catch you three stealing from nice men like him again, and i'll stop bringing home candy for you after work."

"no!" all three kids cry at once. the redhead tuts.

"right. don't do it again," he says firmly, before shooing the triplets away.

the redhead then slides down the side of the building, hit the wet ground with a splash. langa watches with disbelief as he casually saunters over, handing him his wallet back once he's reached him.

"sorry about them," the redhead says. "they live with just their mother, so they take to stealing to help her out occasionally. they shouldn't bug you again." he chuckles. "but if you ever need eyes and ears around london- hire those three. they're amazing at snooping."

langa clears his throat, forcing himself to stop staring at the redhead's pretty face as if he was in a trance. he slides his wallet into his suit pocket yo make sure it's not stolen again.

"thank you," he says, gratefully bowing his head. "i appreciate your help- what was your name?"

"reki kyan," the redhead replies with pride. "i work on the train tracks and take care of the kids around these parts best i can."

"well, mister kyan, you're amazing," langa tells him, surprising himself with his boldness. reki's eyes widen, and his eyes dart away quickly. langa then holds a hand out to him, the other behind his back. "my name is langa erikson. it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance."

reki chuckles awkwardly, scratching at the back of his head. "pleasure's all mine," he replied, and shakes langa's offered hand. "you can call me reki, by the way."

"then you may call me langa, reki," he responds graciously. reki averts his eyes again as they release each other's hands. "is there some way i can repay you?"

"don't worry about it!" reki says quickly, throwing his hands up. oh, he's wearing a pair of thick, black gloves, langa has just realized. and his biceps are absolutely huge with muscles- probably from working on tracks all day. "just don't get those boys in trouble. they mean well for their mum."

"wouldnt even dream of getting them in trouble," langa replies lightly. then he frowns. he doesn't want to go home and never see this sunny man ever again. he's a delight to look at- ruby red hair and honey amber eyes with a sunshine smile. it would be a shame to never seen him again. "though, i must insist on repaying you." he has a brilliant idea of doing just that, too.

reki shakes his head again, desperatly. "no, really, there's no need-"

"why don't you come and stay at my home, so that i may repay you with dinner?" langa says smoothly, once more surprising himself with his boldness. he's basically asking this man to live with him and have multiple dates with him. hopefully, the redhead doesn't realize that, yet, since gay relationships are frowned upon. but perhaps- later on. "you may stay in one of my rooms, take off from your job, and have warm and fresh meals everyday."

reki's eyes widen significantly, his jaws snapping shut. oh no, maybe langa was laying too much on him at once. "i- uh-"

"please, it would mean the world to me in repaying you this way," langa says, to further convince him. "and it would be a small exchange to you after saving my life."

the redhead scratches at the back of his head again, and langa can't help but stare at the way his bicep moves to complete the action. lord have mercy, reki was good looking. he's always tried to repress his gay feelings and desires, but this ripped train track worker with burning red hair is destroying all of his effort in one foul swoop.

finally, reki lets out a heavy sigh of defeat, lowering both of his arms. "you won't be happy unless i accept?" he asks, and when langa nods eagerly, he lets out another sigh, shutting his eyes. "okay, i will. i'll try not to be too much of an issue while i stay-"

langa cuts him off by catching one of his gloved hands in his, holding it up between them. he offers the redhead a small smile, excitement rolling in his gut. "you could be no trouble at all," langa insists, and reki draws back a little, and is that a tin of red coloring his freckled cheeks. langa sure hopes it is.

and that's how langa takes home a gorgeous redhead, who had in fact, saved his life.

[lillotte17]

Bird Nest

Continuation of my post-canon drabble things!! Who is ready for some Emotional Whiplash?!

~

Domesticity is not something that Zhou Zishu has much experience with.

Even before becoming the Four Seasons’ Manor Lord and the Leader of the Window of Heaven, his family had always kept servants. He has never been like Jing BeiYuan, who seems to like nothing more than luxuriating amidst finery, but he has never had to concern himself with the everyday tasks of cooking and cleaning and doing laundry, either. He knows how to look after himself well enough, when he has to, but his standards of ‘well enough’ are not especially high. He was always content to make do with the things on hand, and wait for his fortunes to shift towards something better. Or to simply drown himself in wine until the state of his surroundings and his body no longer mattered.

It has never bothered him before, but in these last few days spent in the cold dusty ruin of the World’s Armory with Lao Wen, he is beginning to notice the gaping holes of his inadequacies.

He does not know how to take care of someone.

He knows how to protect someone, how to fight off enemies and hide from pursuit and outmaneuver any opposition. He knows how to treat a simple wound or a fever when someone is suffering. He knows how to care about someone, but after words of affirmation and patience and physical intimacy, he is at something of a loss.

When they had been staying at the Four Seasons Manor with Chengling, he could wave off the fact that he was not doing most of the mundane work of keeping them all fed and healthy because he had a disciple to train and poison burning through his veins, and later, an injured shoulder to contend with. He had focused more on their defenses, and taking stock of their food and medical stores. Making sure that the secrets of the Manor had remained hidden and safe, so that Chengling could inherit them once he was ready.

But now the Manor is gone, and there is only the mountain and the armory and Lao Wen, and Zhou Zishu…is not entirely sure what to do with himself.

The first three or four days had been lost to fear and grief, clinging to Wen Kexing’s limp body and pouring as much of his internal force into him as he could before slumping over in exhaustion. Once he had come back to him from the brink of death, the two days following had been surrendered to hands and mouths and ravenous devotions. They had spent most of their time in various stages of undress, lounging about on the random assortments of tattered mats and blankets they had made into their bed, neither one willing to venture far from the other’s line of sight.

The fifth or sixth day finally had Lao Wen declaring that he felt grimy past the point of endurance, and sent him puttering about the maze of bookshelves and farming equipment in search of the tools to shape the armory into a livable space. Rong Xuan and his friends had come here to train, so there were still some useful things here and there. A few chipped bowls and a dusty teapot. A moldering wash basin that is not yet beyond salvation and a small stew pot with a rusting handle. He had swept and bustled and rearranged things in nearly a frenzy, and Zhou Zishu had not done much more than keep him company and carry and few things when he was bidden.

It had taken the better part of the day, but now they have a dining area, a cozy nook in a well-lit corner for reading and writing, and even a few battered screens set up for privacy while bathing or changing clothes, if they feel so inclined. It nearly feels like a home, even if everything they have is in some state of disrepair. They heat enough water to wash themselves, tend to their outer robes as best they can, and sit down to their first meal of ice and snow in nothing but blankets. It is not especially filling, but then again, their bodies do not seem to feel hunger as they did before, either.

Wen Kexing seems buoyant with his successes, his damp snowy hair glistening in the soft light of their little table lamp.

“How long do you suppose it will take the others to come dig us out?” he asks.

“It is hard to say just how bad the avalanche was from in here,” Zishu hums thoughtfully, “Even if they find the markers you left and follow you here, I am afraid it will take a few weeks at the very least. Transporting large amounts of men and equipment through the mountains is slow going even in good weather.”

He smirks at him.

“Why? Are you sick of me already?”

“Impossible,” Wen Kexing laughs with a dismissive wave of his hand, grinning from ear to ear. “It was more of a practical concern. If we are trapped in here for months, we might survive it well enough, but there is no telling what state we will be in without access to any sort of grooming tools. The old monster did not exactly tell me what to expect if the technique succeeded. Will our hair keep growing? What about our fingernails? Are we going to look like horrible mountain beasts by the time they finally come for us? Your poor dumb disciple will start crying in fear again.”

“Chengling will cry when he sees us no matter what we look like,” Zhou Zishu sighs, exasperated yet fond. “But I would assume that since our bodies are no longer using food to fuel themselves in the typical sense, that our metabolisms have slowed, or possibly even stopped. Even if our hair and nails keep growing, it will likely be some time before we become terrifying.”

“Hm,” Lao Wen nods in acceptance, “What will we do about keeping clean, though? Luckily, we do not have to concern ourselves too much with dirty dishes, but what about our clothes? What about ourselves? Water can only do so much on its own.”

“I did not expect you to be this squeamish about a little dirt,” Zishu chuckles.

“Ah Xu,” Wen Kexing says flatly, “It is hardly going to be ‘a little dirt’ after several weeks. You should know by now that to touch and be touched by you is one of my life’s dearest delights, but if you truly intend to forego soap and cleanliness for an entire month or more, I am not sharing a bed with you. For sleeping, or anything else.”

Zhou Zishu arches a brow at him in disbelief.

“Would you care to know how long it had been since I had a bath when we first met?”

“Just because I could tell you were beautiful beneath all of that filth does not mean I was willing to bed you before you got a chance to wash yourself,” Lao Wen huffs, “I do have standards.”

Zishu makes a noncommittal noise in the back of his throat, but his expression is still doubtful.

“Ah well,” Wen Kexing sighs, deciding to sidestep the obvious but unspoken opinion about what his standards are, or lack thereof, “There must be something in here we can use. Maybe there are stores of rice in with the grain and farming supplies. I doubt it would be safe to eat, but if we cook it, the water leftover might still be good for washing… And Rong Xuan was married. Perhaps his wife left something behind.”

“Perhaps you mother did.”

Lao Wen tenses in reflexive discomfort, as he still does at any mention of his past, but then the moment passes and he smiles.

“I doubt my parents would have come here very often,” he tells him softly. “They supported the idea of the armory, but neither of them were that invested in becoming martial masters themselves. They wanted to heal people. But…it would be nice, if we found something of them here. If they left something behind that we could use to make a life together.”

“You are good at this,” Zhou Zishu compliments him sincerely, gesturing to the living space they have already arranged, “I never would have thought this place could feel even half this hospitable. You did a good job with our manor too, before it was destroyed. Chengling barely knows how to boil water, so I know you must have helped him with more than you claimed. The Valley Master is truly a man of many hidden talents.”

“I was only the leader of the ghosts for eight years,” Wen Kexing reminds him, bitterness seeping into his smile, “Even if the old chief favored me for my ruthlessness, I was still more of a servant or a slave than a ward. If I am good at building a life from ruins now, it is because I was never given an option to do otherwise.”

“Lao Wen, I-”

He holds up a hand to halt his apology.

“You do not have to be sorry,” he says, “Not for what happened, and not for making me talk about it either. We have eternity to share together, so I imagine all of our old wounds will eventually be dragged out into the sunlight at some point. It is not the easiest thing to discuss, but…I want to tell you. I want to tell you everything.”

Zhou Zishu puts his hand over his on the tabletop, squeezing his fingers in reassurance.

“There is no rush,” he reminds him, “As you said; we have time. I will be here, and I will listen when you are ready.”

He chuckles softly.

“Of course, those things are easier to talk about while enjoying a jar of wine together, like we used to,” Zishu sighs wistfully, “Of all the things we are going to give up for this life, that might be the most difficult for me to part with.”

“But Ah Xu, we brought the sweetest wine with us!” Wen Kexing grins, leaning towards him over the table.

“…You mean in your flask?” Zhou Zishu blinks at him frowningly, “We cannot drink it anymore, even if you brought some.”

“I have been drinking this wine every day,” Lao Wen insists, eyes curving upwards as his smile deepens, mischievous and extremely self-satisfied. “This is a taste I would not sacrifice for anything.”

Zishu’s brows furrow in consternation, sensing a ruse, but not certain what the endgame could be yet.

“…Do you not want to know where the wine is?” Wen Kexing asks sweetly.

“If I ask, will it end this silly game any faster?”

“Hm, perhaps. That is entirely up to you.”

“…Where is it?” Zhou Zishu huffs out with a grumble, looking terribly put-upon.

“Here!” Lao Wen exclaims happily, placing one long finger directly against Zishu’s lips.

Zhou Zishu catches his hand on instinct, fighting a losing battle with the urge to roll his eyes.

“You are utterly preposterous.” He informs him evenly.

“I am also hopelessly charming and completely inescapable,” Wen Kexing agrees without the slightest hint of shame. He moves his finger to lightly trace one corner of Zhou Zishu’s mouth. “You, on the other hand, are both delicious and intoxicating. If were not trapped inside, I would whisk you out beneath the moonlight and drink you in until both of us were dizzy with sensation.”

“Do these types of brazen declarations actually work on people?” Zishu wonders.

“They worked on you,” Wen Kexing points out with a shrug, still smiling like a fool.

Zhou Zishu lets out long-suffering sigh, seemingly defeated, but he meets Lao Wen’s gaze without hesitation. A few heartbeats pass, and he turns his head slightly, just enough to brush the barest whisper of a kiss across the tip of the finger still hovering near his cheek. He smiles at the surprised silence that follows, pulling the hand in his grip closer to him, deciding to press a kiss into its palm as well.

Wen Kexing’s eyes on him are molten.

Zhou Zishu laughs.

“Well, I think we both know what works on you.”

“Ah Xu,” Wen Kexing exhales his name with a stuttering breath, a thread of supplication weaving through his voice.

Zishu’s expression softens exponentially.

“Alright.”

~

Zhou Zishu wakes up the next morning with a mild soreness that is becoming typical. His freshly rinsed clothes from the day before are folded neatly near the bed, along with their battered little washbasin and a damp handkerchief so he can wipe himself down before dressing. Wen Kexing is sitting at the narrow table in their reading nook, the sun sifting in through the high windows painting him with sweeps of warm golden light. His hair is still unbound, softening the angles of his face as he pours over the open book in front of him. A comb is loosely clasped within his left hand, seemingly forgotten.

Zishu takes the time to admire the scene in silence. He thinks again about what it means to take care of someone. To make a life from the ground up with nothing but your bare hands and your sincerity. To build a home within the walls of someone else’s heart.

He is still not certain he knows how to go about it, but no one said that the first step had to be the largest one.

It takes him a few minutes to quietly sweep away the traces of sweat and other things from the night before and pull his robe on. He is certain that Wen Kexing must have noticed, but he seems to be engrossed with his reading. Without waiting for acknowledgment or invitation, he pads across the room to pluck the wooden comb from Lao Wen’s elegant fingers.

“You won’t be able to read properly with your hair falling in your eyes like that.” He says it more brusquely than he meant to. His mouth twitches downward briefly in discontentment. That was not how he wanted to begin this.

For his own part, Wen Kexing simply turns his head slightly to blink up at him, a mix of warmth and mild surprise on his face.

“Are you offering to help me look pretty, Ah Xu?”

“You hardly need my help with that.”

Lao Wen shifts in his seat a little, as though he is so pleased with the compliment that he cannot quite hold it in.

“By all means,” he tells him, trying and failing to hold back a wide curling smile, “If you want to touch me anywhere, I would be that last person to stop you.”

Zhou Zihsu laughs.

“This I already know,” he says, leaning over to poke at one of the round mouth-shaped bruises along the side of Lao Wen’s throat.

Wen Kexing hisses and pulls a face as Zishu moves to sit behind him.

“And here I thought you were going to be tender with me,” he quips lightly.

Zhou Zishu stills for a moment, a portion of Lao Wen’s silvery hair already gathered in his left hand. He fiddles with the comb and stares and the shoulders of the man in front of him. His expression slides back towards uncertainty.

“I am.” He says finally. Wen Kexing reaches back and pats his knee. He can tell that he is smiling by the tilt of his head, and somehow it seems to ease the tension back out of his shoulders.

Without another word between them, he beings carefully running the comb through Lao Wen’s hair. He does his best to be gentle, but there are a few places with some especially stubborn tangles. Wen Kexing makes a low pained sound as he tries to pull the teeth of the comb through them, and Zhou Zishu pauses once again.

“Have you ever combed someone else’s hair before?” Wen Kexing wonders.

“…No,” Zhou Zishu confesses.

“Not even your shidi’s?” Wen Kexing presses, sounding surprised, “Didn’t you raise him once our master passed? Qin Jiuxiao was still too young to look after himself at the time, was he not?”

“We had servants at the Four Seasons Manor,” Zishu reminds him, “I was the new leader of a struggling sect. I was not going to spend time doing something that could easily be allocated to a maid. I helped him with his studies and I trained him in martial arts. He came to me with his troubles, but the more mundane chores of childrearing were handled by other people. I had too many other things to look after to go out of my way to make sure he was groomed every morning.”

“It was not a condemnation,” Wen Kexing says softly.

“I know.” He sighs.

“Do you wish you could have done more for him, now?”

“I…don’t know,” Zhou Zishu admits, “I don’t know if there was any more I could have done for him even if I wanted to. I was only sixteen when I became responsible for him. I barely knew how to run our sect, let alone how to be someone’s father figure. As his older brother, it was my job to keep him out of trouble, so that is what I tried to do. He had a good heart. A pure heart -like Chengling- and he was just as silly. I tried to make sure he never got his hands dirty the way I had to. We used to dream of the day the Window of Heaven would no longer be needed, and we would wander the jianghu together. Maybe, if that had happened, we might have had the chance for more moments like this.”

His hand trembles slightly and he tugs the comb harder than intended.

“Ai,” Wen Kexing winces, “Start closer to the bottom. It will be easier to get rid of the knots higher up once the ends are free of tangles.”

“Mn,” he acknowledges. “Sorry.”

He glances down at the comb in his hand. A crisp bouquet of carved wooden flowers in a dark cherry lacquer. Almost violet. He runs his thumb over it thoughtfully.

“Did you find this in the armory?” he asks, “It’s a woman’s comb, isn’t it?”

“Ah, no, I brought it with me,” Lao Wen says. His tone is casual, but almost abnormally so. Zishu squints down at the comb again to see if there is anything peculiar about it. But it just looks like a comb.

“Did it belong to your mother?” Zhou Zishu hazards a guess. “I thought the only thing you managed to take with you when the ghosts came was the hairpin.”

“…It belongs to Ah Xiang.”

Oh.

“When she was little, I would help her get dressed and do her hair up in the ugliest little buns you ever saw,” Wen Kexing continues in something of a daze, “I am sure I pulled her hair so many times, but she never complained. She was too scared I would throw her out. When she got a bit older, she would scold me when her braids were sloppy, but she wouldn’t let any of the girls from the department of the unfaithful do them, either. She only wanted me, and to this day I don’t know why.”

By this time Zhou Zishu has managed to tie back a portion of Lao Wen’s hair so it is no longer falling in his eyes. He thinks about attempting the usual little twist he wears it in, but it is already a bit crooked as it is and he suspects that would be beyond his abilities. He smooths the hair back from his forehead one last time, gently pulling a few strands loose at the sides to frame his face the way he likes it.

“She loved you.” He tells him quietly.

“I loved her, too.”

“I know.” He squeezes his shoulder.

“I found the comb in with my things when I woke up after…after…” Wen Kexing’s breathing becomes erratic, and Zhou Zishu wraps him up in his arms, pulling him back against his chest. Kexing refuses to meet his eyes, but he eventually seems to calm himself, reaching up and holding onto Zishu’s wrists for dear life. “I don’t know if there was some sort of mix up in the rush to leave Ghost Valley, or if Ah Xiang left it for me on purpose. Maybe she thought it would give her an excuse to come back, if she wanted. Maybe she just wanted me to remember all those early mornings when I used to do her hair for her. Or maybe… Maybe she thought I would forget her if she didn’t leave something behind.”

“She knew that she was going to miss you,” Zhou Zishu says, pressing a kiss into the crown of his head, “She wanted to make sure that you would miss her, too.”

A child takes after their parent, after all.

“I…was not as nice to her as I could have been,” Wen Kexing says thickly, “At first, it was because it was too dangerous. If the other ghosts knew she was precious to me, they would go after her as soon as it looked like I might be any sort of threat to them. I had to keep her at a distance to keep her safe. But later… Later on, I think I just forgot how to be kind to someone. And so, I was always making her worried that I would throw her away…”

“She knew,” Zhou Zishu soothes, “She knew your intentions. Who else could know you better?”

“You know me better,” Lao Wen sighs. “She was a bit too silly to understand me completely. Her heart was better than mine. She deserved better than me.”

“You raised her well.”

“Not well enough.”

They sit together in silence for a while, each lost in the memories of the children they could not save. There is grief, but there is understanding, too. The wordless empathy of touch. Zhou Zishu holds Wen Kexing in his arms and sees the ways their hurts fit together in perfect likeness. How just to know someone who knows him, someone with whom he freely shares his words and his space and his time without resentment or restraint, has allowed them both to become more of the people they had always wanted to be. And that…is a kind of caring, too.

Perhaps the most important kind.

The rest will come later.

“Lao Wen, I am afraid if you don’t get up, your hair will need combing again,” Zhou Zishu says after a long time has passed. He makes no move to relinquish his embrace, however.

“I’m not getting up,” Wen Kexing says stubbornly, “You can just comb my hair again for me later.”

“Oh?” Zhou Zishu laughs softly, “I thought I wasn’t very good at it.”

“You are not,” Lao Wen tells him bluntly, “But I’m spoiled now. You have to brush my hair for me every day.”

“Forever?”

“Forever.”

Zhou Zishu smiles, and holds him that much tighter.

“Alright.”

[dakotacrisis]

Cherry Blossoms (3)

Kagami straight up having a not good time

Read on AO3

---

“Kagami,” her mother called through her door, “Are you awake? You haven’t heard a peep out of you all morning?”

“I’m awake,” Kagami answered in a shaky voice. In truth she had not fallen asleep at all last night. Not after those three flower petals popped out of her mouth. She had spent almost a full minute just staring at them, willing them to disappear. But they did not move, the tickle in her throat did not cease, it was all still very real.

Kagami had heard of Hanahaki disease. A strange phenomenon where people coughed up flower petals but she had never imagined it could happen to her. She had spent the rest of the night researching at her computer while also trying to convince herself that she really hadn’t contracted the disease. It couldn’t be. It simply couldn’t be happening.

No one knows why Hanahaki disease happens. It seemed to be such a magical and bizarre affliction that it couldn’t be real. There was no scientific backing to it. Really, why would someone’s body start growing flowers just because they were experiencing an unrequited love? It was absurd and altogether frightening. But as the years since its emergence it had become common knowledge.

Thankfully they had discovered a way to remove the flowers so they couldn’t hurt anyone anymore but even that came at a price. You could have the flowers removed with a simple surgery but when the flowers were removed the romantic feelings that the patient had for their unrequited love disappeared as well. For some it was a mercy but for others they saw it as a twisted and sick fate.

Many of the articles Kagami read on the subject ranged from WebMD’s symptoms and treatment options to articles about how to get your unrequited love to love you back, and forums for others that had contracted Hanahaki. She had scoured them all hoping one of them would tell her that she was wrong. But the signs were all there. The deep dive she went into when she accepted she must have contracted Hanahaki disease had only made her fear worse.

Detailed accounts of how the surgery to remove the flowers and the aftereffects of such a procedure. People talking about how in love with the person that held their affections was and the day after about how all those feelings didn’t exist anymore. Statistics of people who had died suffocating on flowers instead of getting the surgery that could have saved their lives. They would live but at the risk of losing the feelings for someone they held dear to their hearts.

To cheer herself up from all the gloom and death and bloody pictures of flowers removed from people’s lungs she read success stories. Couples who had fallen in love and how the flowers disappeared. It made her feel a bit better seeing that not everyone was subject to surgery or possible death on account of their feelings.

The tickle came back in her throat when she thought about being one of those lucky pairs that got the love they craved. This was all Kagami’s fault. She just had to fall in love with Marinette. She should have been stronger than that. She barely knew this girl and yet she felt it deep inside that her heart was irrevocably hers. A girl who smelled like sweet vanilla and whose soft blue eyes anyone would be lucky to drown in. A girl who made Kagami feel warm and fluttery and turned her whole world bubbly and pink.

Kagami sighed and held up the small jar she had dropped the flower petals into. She knew she would probably be better off just throwing them away but for some reason it didn’t seem right.

At least she was lucky enough to have cherry blossoms. They were fairly small. She felt bad for people who coughed up things like lilies and sunflowers. They were decidedly more painful and harder to get out of one’s throat due to how big they could get. The thought alone made Kagami shudder.

Her phone went off with a reminder that she needed to get going to school. How was she supposed to attend school now knowing that she had flowers growing in her lungs? No. It’s fine. She’s a brave and resilient girl. She’ll be fine. Besides, it was only three little flower petals. It just started so she was nowhere near the stage where she would start coughing up whole flowers or be able to see and feel the stems and roots growing up her esophagus.

She covered her mouth, certain that if she thought on it anymore she would puke. Worse comes to worse she can just schedule a surgery and have it over with. Everything will be fine.

While content in her ability to not die from the flowers growing in her lungs Kagami found herself preoccupied with the fact that she now had to face her feelings. She hadn’t even admitted to herself that she was in love with Marinette until those flower petals came out of her. Now it was all she could think about. How long had this been building? When did her feelings for Marinette go from a simple little crush to full blown love? Was it at the pool? Was it before that? Had she just been falling deeper and deeper in love with Marinette since the moment she met her?

How pathetic was this? She fell in love with Marinette within only a short time of knowing her but Marinette probably only thought of her as a good friend. Oh screw it, that’s all Marinette saw her as. The proof was literally rooted inside her. If Marinette loved her back as she wanted her to none of this would be happening.

School was arduous and long. The tickle in her throat returned every time she thought of Marinette. She didn’t cough up any more petals but that stupid tickle wouldn’t let her have a moment of peace. By the end of the day she was ready to go home and wallow in her misery. That was until she got another reminder that she had fencing practice with Adrien after school. She could have screamed.

“Hey Kagami,” Adrien waved her over when she got to their lesson, “How was your day?”

“Fine,” she nodded, “Feeling a little under the weather but that won’t stop me from beating you into the dirt.”

“Allergies still bothering you?” he asked, “We don’t have to practice outside if that makes it worse. We can head inside if that’ll help.”

“No,” Kagami cleared her throat, “I’ll be fine.”

“If you’re sure,” they took their positions and began practice. All was going well and for a few brief minutes Kagami was able to forget about everything as she laid waste to Adrien.

She had just claimed victory again when she heard a familiar voice ring out through the courtyard. “Wow, and here I thought Adrien was the best fencer I knew but Kagami is kicking your butt.”

Oh goodness why? Why was Marinette here? She was dressed in warm yellows and soft whites, a single hair clip with a daisy on it holding her bangs away from her face. “Hey Marinette,” Adrien stood up, pushing his mask up to greet her, “What brings you to practice today?”

“I finished copying the notes you lent me.” she handed him a notebook, “I also wanted to see how you faired against Kagami since I haven’t had the chance to watch her fence yet. Does she always beat you so easily?”

“Pretty much,” Adrien sighed with a good natured smile, “But I still think I give her a run for her money. Right Kagami?”

Kagami was frozen. She hadn’t prepared herself to see Marinette yet. The tickle in her throat became more insistent. Why did seeing her have to be such a wonderful and horrible thing at the same time?

“Yeah,” she managed to say in between tiny coughs, “Nice to see you again.”

“Oh, poor Kagami, allergies still bugging you?” Marinette looked at her with pity, “I think I have some allergy meds in my bag. I bought a bottle just in case of emergencies like this.”

“Oh no,” Kagami coughed harder, “That’s fine. I already took some. I’m just waiting for it to kick in.”

“Oh, that’s good,” Marinette beamed. “Would you guys mind it I watch you duel for a bit?”

“Sure,” Adrien shrugged, “Maybe an audience is just the kind of encouragement I need to finally win one of these matches.”

Marinette took a seat nearby to watch. They began the duel but Kagami couldn’t focus on fencing with Marinette watching her so intently. She pressed her lips tightly together to muffle the cough that tried to escape. Her eyes watered and there was a tight pain in her chest the longer she tried to keep from coughing. Not now! Please not now!

Finally she couldn’t take it anymore, the need to breathe and clear her lungs to great. She coughed into her mask. She felt the tickle of wet petals slide past her lips and tongue and settle at the bottom of her mask near her chin. Adrien took the moment she was disoriented and knocked her back onto her butt. At least it was over and she was breathing a bit easier.

“I win! Woo!” Adrien cheered, “Doesn’t feel as good since you had a coughing fit in the middle of it but I will still take the win.”

“Yep, great, congratulations,” Kagami stood up, “Don’t apologize for taking advantage of your opponent’s weakness. Every great fighter does it.”

“That was a great fight,” Marinette said, “Kagami, do you need some water? You sounded pretty bad at the end there. I have a water bottle.”

Goodness this girl came prepared for anything.

“No. I’m fine,” she assured her. She desperately wanted something to drink but she couldn’t risk taking her mask off since it was the only thing keeping the flower petals from falling out. “I think I’m going to cut practice short today though. Go home and get some rest.”

“Yeah, I should probably be heading back too.” Adrien agreed.

“Alrighty then, I’ll talk to you guys later.” Marinette waved before heading off again.

Kagami immediately ran to the locker room and tore the mask off her head. Three more pink petals fell from her mask and settled on the ground. She scooped them up and sighed. Why was this happening? Why couldn’t she just have her crush in peace?

“Kagami, are you alright? You ran in here so fast I thought--” Adrien stopped when he saw her and the petals in her hand.

Crap.

Her mind scrambled for an explanation. Adrien’s expression shifted from concern to shock then a deep sadness. He sat down next to Kagami and silently held out his hand. With a sigh she dropped the petals into palm.

“How long?” Adrien asked, studying the petals with delicate interest.

“Last night, was able to choke it back all day but the second she showed up here I couldn’t hold them in anymore.” Kagami dropped her head into her hands.

“I’m sorry,” Adrien wrapped his free arm around her, “I’d be more surprised if you had been able to resist her.”

He closed his hands around the petals. “Do yourself a favor and schedule yourself for a surgery now. Don’t drag it out. It’ll only hurt more.”

Kagami looked up at him bewildered and almost offended, “What?”

“You think you’re the first person that has fallen victim to the entity of warmth and kindness that is Marinette Dupain-Cheng? There’s been a whole slew of people that have contracted Hanahaki disease because of her.” Adrien shook his head with a small scoff, “Nino, Nathaneal, Alya, Luka...me…”

“All of you?” She couldn’t believe this. They were all such good friends though. All of them had fallen in love with Marinette and contracted Hanahaki disease? How was that even possible? Besides, most of them were already in happy loving relationships when Kagami met them.

“Is that really so shocking?” Adrien asked, there was something wistful in his gaze, “She makes it so easy to fall for her. When you’re around her you don’t perceive anything else. It’s just her and everything around you is gone. You’re in a void of sweet sugar candy. You look at her and everything turns…”

“Everything goes pink.” Kagami finished. “So you fell in love with her?”

“Yep. I was latest before you. I was coughing up red rose petals for months and months. I tried everything in my power to get her to return my feelings. I straight up confessed to her that I was in love with her and wanted to know if she could love me back. When she told me she didn’t I...it kind of broke me. It hurt so much but I didn’t want to let go of the feeling of loving her. In the end she had to beg me to go and get the surgery to save my life.”

She would have never guessed that Adrien and so many of her other friends had also fallen for Marinette. Then again, if they all got the surgery and had their feelings removed then she wouldn’t have been able to tell.

“You wanna know something all those articles online don’t tell you?” Adrien said, “Once the surgery is over and the flowers and the feelings are gone you feel hollow. Not for a long time but at least the first week you can just feel that hole where your love was. It’s not even like you lost any attraction you just lose everything for a bit.”

“And you think that speech is going to convince me to want to get the surgery? It sounds pretty bad.”

“For the first week, after that everything eases. You can’t love her romantically anymore so you love her the only other way you can. That’s why we’re all such good friends. We love her as much as we can platonically. It fills that hole and while the world may no longer be pink when you look at her, it is still the happiest place you know.”

Kagami sniffed. It sounded nice. To love someone so much in a way that assured you wouldn’t lose them. She could still be happy. She could still be in Marinette’s life. She could still have happy days full of that warmth and sweetness that radiated off of her. But at the cost of losing something that felt even better.

“All my life I’ve waited to meet someone that makes me feel the way I do when I’m around Marinette. I started to think that it would never happen. Then she showed up.” she reached into her bag and took out the butterfly barrette that Marinette gave her. “I know that I am probably causing myself more pain but I don’t want to give this up so easily. I can’t give her up without a fight, Adrien. You of all people understand that, don’t you?”

Adrien sighed and dropped the petals back into her hand. He reached into his own bag and withdrew a paper bookmark. A pressed red rose petal laminated to the paper. He smiled, “Maybe you’ll be the lucky one that wins her heart this time.”

She hugged him tight. “Thank you,” she whispered.

“You have to promise me though,” Adrien pulled back, “You have to promise that if this goes on too long and your disease gets really bad that you will schedule a surgery. I know that you are not going to want to but I will not see your stubbornness kill you, Kagami. You will have to yield if it goes on for too long, do you understand?”

“I do. I promise.” Kagami hated the idea but it could always be worse.

“Good.” Adrien stood up, “Get dressed and go home to get some rest. Tomorrow we start operation...what kind of petals are you coughing up again?”

“Cherry blossoms.”

“Tomorrow we begin Operation Cherry Blossoms!”

---

(First) (Previous) (Next)

[obeyme-kaidii]

Lesson 46 Summary

The adventures continue as MC learns more about Beel.

**SPOILERS BEYOND THIS POINT**

In the morning, everyone meets Little D Number 2 outside, and he agrees to show them the way to the Casino where Mammon is supposed to be. Number 2 teases Beel about how tired he is, suggesting he had “quite a fun night”, which annoys Lucifer.

Once at the Casino, the group immediately runs into Mammon (who is wearing his Arabian outfit). He seems to thoroughly be enjoying himself within the video game and playing his role, and moves to snatch Lucifer. Just like in a video game, a message pops up announcing his entrance, and then Mammon proceeds to cast a spell.

As Lucifer gets taken, MC remembers Beel and uses their powers to cast a spell that strengthens Beel, causing him to shift into his demon form. Beel comments that his body seems to be moving on its own, and soon he’s canceled out Mammon’s spell. A powerful blast of wind then knocks Mammon backwards.

Beel then returns to his regular form, and asks MC if they did that. Solomon explains that yes, that was a result of MC learning to control Beel’s power. But he also explains that MC hasn’t figured out all of Beel’s power, so the test continues.

Lucifer thanks MC for rescuing him, and then turns his sights on Mammon. Mammon starts to panic a little, and begs for mercy.

The group returns to Number 2, and he thanks them for their help getting his money back from the “Greedy Monster”. As a reward, he gives them Beel’s Lord of Flies armor set at a discounted price. After Beel equips the new armor, Number 2 informs them that there’s a rumor “Demon Lord Satan” has attacked a nearby town.

As they journey towards Satan’s rumored location, Lucifer mentions he’s looking forward to returning to his normal size just so he can punish Mammon. Beel comments that Lucifer used to be nicer to Mammon back when they were in the Celestial Realm, but Lucifer insists he doesn’t remember what he’s talking about. Beel doesn’t believe him though, and brings up that Lucifer and Mammon often used to work together to argue with Raphael (who it seems to be being positioned as the Big Bad for this Season, IMO).

Solomon asks if it was Diavolo’s influence that caused Lucifer to become more rigid. He also points out that since they started as angels, becoming demons of such high status had to be hard. (Which is actually pretty interesting because up until now we’ve mostly been operating on the assumption that Diavolo immediately gave them their positions as Avatars after the fall. But it now sounds like they had to earn the right for those titles.) Beel however seems surprised to hear that that might be the case, and Lucifer once again pretends he’s forgotten.

Solomon then hears a noise that everyone first assumes might be Beel’s stomach, but they soon realize it’s a group of ghosts. At which point Solomon recalls overhearing some towns folk talking about these woods, and he just forgot to mention it, which annoys both Beel and Lucifer.

After running from the ghosts, the group takes safety next to a lake that seems to be protected by some sort of guardian spirit. The decision is then made that they should camp there for the night.

Some time later, MC wakes up and finds Beel already awake. MC is given the opportunity to join him and the two talk, careful not to wake Solomon or Lucifer. Beel tells MC he was thinking about what was discussed earlier - and how Lucifer isn’t the only one who is different. He admits that as an angel he didn’t use to constantly eat back then. He says that he doesn’t remember exactly what triggered the change, but one day he just stopped resisting. (which is pretty interesting, if you think about it, and opens up a whole host of theories and possibilities lore wise 🧐)

Beel also mentions that there are some things that are the same, such as the fact his brothers have always been part of his life and will continue to be. ❤️🥺❤️ Beel then admits to MC that he’s worried about fighting Belphie in the game, and doesn’t think that he’ll be able to protect them and Lucifer if that’s the case. MC is given the option of comforting Beel, who admits that he’s pretty lucky, all things considered, to have a “problem” like not knowing who to protect first because he loves so many people.

The following morning, everyone wakes up and prepares to leave. Beel mentions that he’s glad they weren’t attacked while they slept, and Solomon teases him about his late night “activities” which makes poor Beel blush, and annoys Lucifer.

Once the group starts traveling again, Lucifer points out that it’s been over 24hrs now so Solomon should turn him back. But Solomon is quick to point out since they are in a video game, it’s actually only been a couple hours in the real world, so Lucifer has to continue to stay as he is.

Beel then notices a treasure chest in the road and Solomon immediately suggests opening it. Even if MC urges him to be cautious and warns it might be a trap, he still insists that opening it is the best course of action (how is this man not dead yet???). While Solomon, MC, and Lucifer are discussing what to do about the chest, Beel opens it hoping to find food. Instead, there are 3 objects inside - a magical jar that protects the contents, healing herbs, and a pair of cat ears. (lolololol) Beel suggests putting Lucifer in the bottle and Lucifer glares at him. Beel then looks like a kicked puppy. 🥺

The sky suddenly darkens and Satan appears, explaining that opening the chest triggered the battle. Like Mammon, he too is very much enjoying himself and his time in the video game. Beel and Solomon are both quick to recognize that Satan’s appearance isn’t good, because when things like this happen in video games, you’re almost always forced to lose the battle for the sake of story progression.

Lucifer then turns to MC and tells them to use one of the items from the treasure chest. (Using the Cat Ears I think generates the most entertaining response.) Regardless of what option you choose, Lucifer still ends up in the enchanted bottle and Satan captures him, leaving Belphie behind to deal with everyone else. (yes, Belphie just pops up out of nowhere)

Belphie, however, isn’t too thrilled by this whole thing and complains about Satan. When Beel hesitates to fight Belphie, it’s Belphie who encourages him that it’ll be alright. Because 1) it’s a video game and 2) he’s much stronger now and doesn’t need to be protected. Beel has a moment of realization and turns to MC, letting them know he is confident he can protect them now and won’t hold back anymore, choosing instead to trust them completely.

MC then casts a spell to empower Beel, causing him to once again shift into his demon form, and Belphie is quickly defeated. Impressed by MC’s power, Belphie is eager to switch sides and join their party. All he wants is a chance to poke mini Lucifer, to which MC agrees. Beel and Solomon also admit to wanting to poke Lucifer. 😂 Solomon then suggests they spend the night at a nearby inn.

Meanwhile, Mammon and Levi are talking at Demon Lord Satan’s Castle. Levi is saying Mammon is no longer part of the game because he was too easily defeated, which makes Mammon sad. (Because he’s a geek and just wants to be included 🥺)

As the two bicker, Satan arrives with mini Lucifer, still trapped in the bottle. Both are very excited about seeing mini Lucifer, with Levi even calling him cute. Mammon then suggests that now is the perfect time to get revenge for all the evil stuff Lucifer has done to him over the centuries.

Like the time that he tied him up and tickled him until he cried while he hung from the ceiling.

(wait, what? THATS the worst he’s ever done?)

Levi also chimes in with a memory of one time Lucifer was truly horrible to him and refused to sign for a package that was being delivered by Akuzon, instead returning the item for a refund. 😱

(...may I present to you the Demon Lords of Hell...the most powerful beings in all the Devildom…)

Lucifer reminds Levi, Mammon, and Satan that he is going to punish them for whatever they do to him when he’s small, once he returns to his normal size. Satan then moves to take Lucifer out of the bottle, but the spell on the bottle prevents him from doing so. Levi makes an offhand remark about Lucifer essentially being a collectible figure, which gives Satan an idea.

Satan then proceeds to dress Lucifer up in various outfits using his magic (all his outfits from the events), and Mammon and Levi are both surprised that that is his idea of fun. But Levi points out that Satan is clearly enjoying this and it’s actually like his way of bonding with Lucifer (because clearly admitting to his true feelings would be the worst possible thing).

That evening, Beel, Belphie, Solomon, and MC enjoy dinner at the inn before retiring to their rooms. Solomon has managed to book two separate rooms tonight, which Belphie points out he did just so he could share a room with MC all by himself.

Later that night, MC wakes up to find that Solomon is still awake. When MC asks him what’s wrong, he admits that he was watching the twins earlier and was jealous about the deep relationship they had with one another. He laments the fact that even though he’s lived for centuries he doesn’t have someone like that in his life. If MC asks him about it, he admits that he thought he once had such a person but perhaps the feeling wasn’t mutual. 🥺 (my theory is this is the apprentice mentioned in Lesson 45, the one that founded the Sorcerer’s Society)

After thinking for a moment, Solomon then looks at MC and points out that this scene is another common one in RPG games, where important story points are told. He asks MC if they think that’s what’s going to happen tonight, and MC is given the option of kissing him. (which OMG was the sweetest most heartbreaking kiss scene and goddammit I think I’m now a simp for Solomon) Solomon admits that he didn’t think he ever had a chance with MC since the Brothers are always around them. He then asks MC to come a little closer (and presumably kisses them again).

The next day, Solomon is in a very good mood (I guess finally kissing the person you’ve spent over 2 years pining for will do that to a guy). Belphie is quick to realize why Solomon is in such a good mood, and starts to make the same joke that was made before (about having “fun”), but gives up, leaving Beel slightly confused. Solomon then asks Belphie how they are supposed to get to Satan’s castle, and Belphie says that’s easy - he just uses a spell to summon a portal and BAM they are there.

Beel points out if they had just used the portal last night, they wouldn’t have had to stay at the inn. And Belphie explains that yeah that’s true, but then “fun things” wouldn’t have been able to happen. The comment makes Solomon laugh as he agrees that that wouldn’t have been good at all if they had used the portal and avoided the inn. Poor Beel is still confused. (and is it just me or is Belphie acting like Solomon’s wingman…?)

The group then hears raised voices, and finds Satan taunting Lucifer, who is still in the bottle and now dressed in his wolf outfit. Satan gives the bottle containing Lucifer a little shake, making Lucifer feel nauseated.

MC then is given the opportunity to tell Satan to stop, and Lucifer is embarrassed at being seen as he is (and probably relieved too). Satan asks MC if they are sure they’re ready to battle him, since they skipped a lot of the game by using Belphie’s portal, and might not be strong enough to defeat him.

MC is able to talk to Satan, explaining to him that they value his relationship with his own brothers more than the test, and convincing Satan to let Lucifer go. Beel also chimes in, telling Satan that he knows how much he cares for Lucifer, even if he’s afraid to say it. He also turns to Lucifer and tells him that he needs to be more honest with Satan. Satan is a bit embarrassed by everything being said, but Lucifer lets him know that he never said Satan wasn’t his own demon, or that he wasn't great, so he isn’t sure why he seems to think that’s how Lucifer feels. (which is as close to an apology and compliment as we are probably going to get with this emotionally constipated lot)

Satan decides to accept Lucifer’s “olive branch” and returns Lucifer to MC (by tossing him lol). Once Lucifer is again safe, Beel asks if that means they have beat the game, and wonders what the point of it all was. Solomon then reveals himself to be the true Final Boss, and the one behind the entire thing.

Solomon explains that while he is very impressed with MC and how well they did defeating their opponents thus far, that the test was actually about unlocking Beel’s full potential, which they have not yet done. So, he’s going to give his “adorable apprentice” one last chance to prove themselves.

He then summons Asmo, who complains about how bored he’s been waiting for his turn to join everyone in the game. Solomon uses his powers to strengthen Asmo, who then turns to Beel and the battle begins. Asmo uses his “Charm” to paralyze Beel, but when MC calls for him, Beel breaks the charm. MC casts their own spell, empowering Beel, and he attacks Asmo in return. Asmo is absolutely shocked at how powerful Beel is now. Solomon, even though he’s losing, is very impressed by MC and the power they’ve been able to draw out of Beel. He ignores Asmo’s pleas for help, and MC wins the battle.

(NOTE - in the previous Summary, I blamed Simeon for alerting the brothers. Since it’s actually Solomon that planned the whole thing from the beginning, I guess I kinda have to make a note of that to be fair. But like...I still don’t like Simeon anymore soooo...)

Finally back in the real world, Lucifer (now his normal size), MC, and Beel are enjoying a quiet moment on the back patio near the pool. MC shows Lucifer and Beel their star that they earned from the test.

Screams are then heard coming from inside (presumably Levi and Mammon), and Beel asks if anyone hears anything, which Lucifer denies (he totally hears them). As Lucifer continues to relax, enjoying his wonderful evening, a flashback is shown to dinner time -

Mammon is sobbing, when Solomon comments on how wonderful it is that he must be enjoying his cooking so much that it’s moved him to tears. Solomon encourages Levi to have some more, but it seems he’s passed out already, so he offers the extra portion to Satan instead. Asmo complains about why he has to be there, and when Satan realizes that Belphie is missing, Asmo is impressed with him for having managed to escape. Solomon then makes a comment that he thinks Lucifer is a really nice guy because he didn’t punish him like he thought he would, but instead invited him to stay for dinner and let him do the cooking. (which...damn Luci 😂)

Back in the present, Beel and MC take a walk while Lucifer enjoys the distant sounds of his brother's “screams of agony”.

Beel tells MC that he’s glad he had the opportunity to go through that experience and strengthen his bond with MC. He says the star MC earned is proof of how close they are, and then asks MC if they remember when he gave them his own star at the end of Season 2. He promises to treasure the star, and shares a kiss with MC, telling them once again that he loves them.

Beel then mentions that he feels like he’s forgetting about someone, but decides it’s not important. (hint: it’s Diavolo. They’ve forgotten about Diavolo.)

Favorite Scenes -

It’s a trap!

The power of cats

Geeky Mammon

True evil

Lonely Solomon

Solomon kisses

Emotional manipulation

Lucifer’s revenge

Aren’t we forgetting something...?

[yoditorian]

lacuna- part 6

din/reader

once again i left my writing down to the wire and did the bulk of this today so that’s why its Like That, as always a huge thank you to my wonderful @brothersdrxke for being my favourite sounding board and reminding me i am capable 

MASTERLIST

word count: 3.2k

warnings: swears, violence/death/murder, reader has a panic attack if you squint (not specifically mentioned and only referred to in one sentence), angst and arguments, we got a little more explicit with the smut this time (with added biting), 18+ no babies thanks

Nevarro’s cantina is always dusty. Something that’s struck Din as odd for as long as he’s been meeting Guild reps there, since the planet itself is all humidity and sulfur.

“You know, I’ve never met a hunter quite as efficient as you are.” Karga smiles warmly, but there’s something about his tone that makes Din’s skin crawl. The way he drawls out ‘efficient’ makes him wonder if he means something else. He hopes he doesn’t get asked anymore questions.

A set of new pucks slide across the table towards him, and Din pockets all five of them without even really looking. An amateur move, one he knows better than, but the longer he stays under the new Guild rep’s piercing stare the more he feels like he’s being studied.

“They’re of your usual calibre.” Karga reassures him as he stands to leave, not fool enough to try and palm off any jobs that nobody else will do.

Though the pucks are heavy in his pocket, you’re the only thing on Din’s mind when he steps into the shadow of the Razor Crest. You always are. He sees you everywhere, welding the outer panels together, meticulously painting the orange stripes “because they’ll look cool, Mando.” He sees you every time he has to rewire the internal electrics, that smudge of engine grease that seemed to be a permanent resident on your cheekbone back at the space station, or with the top half of your body wedged in a wall panel and your ass in the air.

The memories of you building the ship used to make him smile even after the worst jobs. Now they just make his hands shake.

You’ve been haunting him more than usual. Every time he turns around in the ship he calls his home, it’s like he expects to see you tinkering with something in the hull or staring up at the stars from the pilot seat with your feet up on the console. Something the others in the crew used to scold you for, but never him. It was endearing, to see you so at home in control of a ship. Any ship. Like you could speak their language.

Din knows it’s because he hasn’t heard from you since you told him you survived. Not that he really expected you to after he didn’t respond.

He almost did, he wanted to. He stares at the comm for hours at night, turning the stupid little thing over in his hands like it holds the secrets to the universe. Maybe it does. Maybe if he had the guts to say something, to say anything, to you. Or maybe he already knows the secrets of the universe, the one that matters to him anyway, and he’s just too afraid to think about it. He doesn’t contact you, he can’t contact you. Not when he knows exactly what it is he wants to say. It’s unfair to the both of you to speak it out loud.

He’s pretty sure you already know anyway. He doesn’t need to say it, maybe he never did. Maybe you’ve always known. How could you not? He’s never been soft like this with anyone the way he has with you. He’s never made so much space in his heart for somebody else. There’s no way you can’t tell. He feels so much for you, so much, there’s hardly any room inside left for him. It must be so obvious. And if he had any control when it comes to you, he could pretend like you don’t make him want to claw out his own heart and hand it to you. It’s yours anyway.

But Din compartmentalises, the way he always has. He takes a deep breath and packs every thought of you back into the box and stows it firmly away in the back of his mind. There will be time to miss you later.

It’s the worst job he’s ever had. By far. This is one bounty he’s not sure he can bring in.

Cork Gyll’s smile is sickening when he sees Din standing in the doorway of his home. If you could even call it that. It’s more of a cave, with an improvised door of thin sheet metal and a badly constructed bed against the far wall. A small metal crate is tucked just underneath the bed frame, half concealed by a threadbare blanket. Not much else, not that Din was expecting much of anything. The dar’manda sits and regards him for a long moment.

“You were there, Beroya.” He spits the title out like it’s a dirty word. It probably is, in his mind. Din only nods.

He should stun him and cuff him and drag him back to the Crest to freeze. That’s what he should do. But it’s too intriguing. Their situations are too similar. Din can’t help himself.

“Why did you do it?” 

Cork perks up at that. Like he wasn’t expecting to be spoken to at all, like he thought he’d just be dragged back to the noble family that ordered the bounty to atone for his crimes. Crimes Din doesn’t even know the extent of.

He loved her, is the first thing he recounts. A dreamy look in his eyes replaces the amusement at fate’s cruel blow. Is that the same look Din gets when he thinks of you?

He’d loved her to the point of removing his helmet, breaking the creed he’d followed all his life, for this daughter of some Outer Rim noble family he was running security for. Cork reddened at the memories of her fingers tracing his face when he bared himself to her the first time, the second time, and every time after that.

But his eyes grow dark suddenly, an odd coldness sweeps the room, and Din finds his hand inching ever closer to the blaster strapped to his hip. Just in case.

He’d proposed. Of course he had. She’d seen his face so many times and they loved each other and he couldn’t hold himself back anymore, the guilt of breaking the creed had been at war with the space he’d made for her in his heart. But she’d said no. She had responsibilities to her family, to the son of another powerful family on the planet whom she’d been promised to before either of them were even born. She loved him, she loved him so much, but her answer was no.

Cork had panicked for his creed, her answer struck him so terribly in the chest that he hadn’t even registered that he’d drawn his blaster until there was a smoking hole between her eyes. Her beautiful eyes. But that was the way. No one alive had seen his face, and he’d been declared dar’manda anyway. He’d lost his love and his creed by his own foolish hand in the space of a few hours. And now? He’d likely be killed for it too.

The raw pain in Cork’s voice as he recalls what he did to his love is enough to make Din accept what he has known all this time to be true. He could never, would never, hurt you for anything. Not even the creed, he was a fool to think otherwise. No matter what it came down to. He’d take dar’manda over being responsible for your death. He’d take exile and disgrace and whatever else they dealt him if it meant he got to feel your skin on his. Your lips on his. No creed or vow or religion could ever bring him the solace that you do. Duty be damned.

Din moves silently across the room with the cuffs, something tells him Cork will go willingly.

He is so very, very wrong.

Part of his mind is still so absorbed in the story, in thoughts of you, that he notices Cork grabbing a heavy wrench just a second too late. It collides with the side of his helmet, taking out one of his auditory sensors and leaving his ears ringing. Cork takes the opportunity to strike once, twice, three times, at his chestplate in a vain attempt to wind him. He winds up for the helmet again, but Din throws himself onto his attacker before he gets the chance. While not graceful or calculated, it does the trick.

Cork laughs as he’s tackled to the floor, a horrible grating sound in his throat. Din doesn’t hesitate to pull his blaster and fire. The other man flops, lifeless, beneath him. The puck said taking him alive was preferable, but somehow Din’s not sure they’ll mind.

The wrench is still clasped in Cork’s hand, old and rusted but oddly familiar. A Mythosaur skull is carved into the base of the handle, and he knows. He must have taken it from the forge at the covert and stashed it before his exile, suspecting a bounty would be set on him. It’s no wonder the thing almost caved his helmet in. Din rips it off in the privacy of the room to inspect the damage, a dent the size of his fist in the right hand side and the auditory sensor is sparking. He’ll need a whole new one.

It’s as though the Armourer is expecting him, she never seems to be surprised by the state of some of the warriors who walk through her door. She simply directs him to a small curtained alcove and asks that he deposit his helmet on the shelf in the wall when he’s hidden.

“You should not regret it.” She speaks clearly, certainly, after he tells her how he sustained such damage. Din’s not sure he can agree with her this time around.

“He was a vod.”

“He was dar’manda. His crimes could never be forgiven. The vows you spoke for your creed no longer applied to him.” She places his new helmet, forged from the remains of his broken one, on the shelf for him to take. It’s been so long since he got a new piece, Din has forgotten how shiny beskar can be. His face stares back at him, distorted by the curve of the metal, for a moment before he finally puts it on. A perfect fit.

Green Squadron, you’re making your final approach.

It’s still kind of jarring to hear a droid coordinate the drop instead of one of the officers back on one of the rebel cruisers. Just something you’ll have to get used to, you suppose.

Three loud beeps sound from your dashboard and you flick the correct switches to drop out of hyperspace in perfect synchronisation with the rest of the team. The two cadets on this particular training session are a little shaky, but they come back into formation once they’ve reoriented. Until another ship appears out of nowhere, uncomfortably close to your left hand side. The squadron scatters, cadets panicking over the comms as your commander demands to know why it wasn’t caught on the sensors. You’re about to echo the sentiment, until you realise exactly why it’s not running a beacon.

“Green Leader, I know that ship. Request a line.” Your heart is in your throat the moment you spot the mismatched panels, the orange stripes you’d spent hours making sure were even.

“You know it? You’re sure, Four?”

“I built it! Put me on the line!” You don’t mean to snap the way you do, but the longer he stays in range the more danger everybody’s in.

Part of you expects a fight, expects your commander to doubt you, but it only takes another second for your comm light to flicker to life on the dash. You can only pray you can convince him to haul ass before the commander gets antsy and calls you to fire.

“Razor Crest, this is a New Republic drill. Please proceed to a safe distance from the training zone.” You want to tell him it’s good to see him, that he’s alive, but you’re all too aware that every one of the team can hear you. Best to stay professional.

The way your name echoes around the cockpit makes your stomach flip. His voice is soft, like he’s surprised it’s you, the tone barely appropriate for the kind of company you’re in. You don’t look forward to the questions you know will follow this session.

“Razor Crest,” You can’t keep the urgency at bay, “Please proceed to a safe distance or we will use force.”

Stars, you don’t want it to come to that. But the Crest is pre-empire, something you’ve noticed leaves any senior officer more than a little on edge. Hell, you would be too if you didn’t know who was at the helm.

“You’d shoot me down for the rebellion?”

“I would.” You answer immediately, because yes, yes you would. There’s no question. The same way that you’re sure, if it came to it, he’d kill you for his creed. Duty is a far more powerful thing than either of you.

Din sits on the comm silently for a long moment, as if he doesn’t believe you. Or maybe he’s- no. You stop that train of thought before it can even leave the station. He’s not shocked at your admission. He would do the same.

Green Squadron remains steady in formation, but a low order from your commander comes over the team system.

“Lock s-foils. Prepare to fire.”

“Mando!”

Din flies out of reach and on his way the second he registers the blind panic in your voice. It would be beautiful to watch the Crest arc through the stars if you weren’t so fucking terrified you were about to be ordered to pursue. But the order doesn’t come. Instead, Green Leader starts leading the cadets through drills, designating you and Shara to keep guard.

A private comm request appears on your display, and you accept without hesitation.

“So, Mando?” Shara doesn’t sound amused, or excited like she might have in any other situation. She sounds worried. Maybe she’s right to be, you’re still trying to remember how to breathe.

“Mando.” You confirm, but you leave it at that. She doesn’t pry. You’re thankful she doesn’t ask any more questions before you can do something really stupid like cry, or fly off after him.

You find yourself at the inn at Mos Espa as soon as the training run is over. Your commander can reprimand you for taking the A-Wing when you get back to base, a vague excuse about staying on top of your patrol duties has been ready on the tip of your tongue since the moment you decide on the detour. They could handle a few hours without you and your ship.

It’s unspoken, but somehow you know he’ll be there. And he is.

Perched awkwardly on the edge of the bed in your usual room, elbows on his knees and his chin resting on his fists. Just watching the door and waiting for you. There’s deep scratches in the red paint of his armour, chunks missing where it was intact before. He’s got a whole new helmet.

“Fuck, Din, what happened?” You wonder about the injuries underneath the metal. Whether there’ll be new scars to trace, freshly healed wounds to run your lips over in the moments after-

“Don’t call me that.”

“What?”

“Don't use my name again. Ever.” Even with the modulator, you can hear him force the words through gritted teeth. He doesn’t sound angry, he sounds in pain. You’re only more confused as he stands and starts to shed the battered armour, giving way to sheer, blinding rage at the way he sets the pieces down on the table so reverently. Not unlike the way he handles you.

“So I can’t say your name but you’ll still fuck me. You’re gonna make me call you ‘Mando’, but you’ll still take off the helmet and kiss me?” Your hands shake at your sides. You’re so angry. You want him to reassure you, to backtrack and tell you he doesn’t mean it. Maybe you’re too used to the way he’s always been so ready to comfort you, to hold you and fit himself into the empty space in your ribs that you know is meant for him. Instead of the gentle words you’ve come to know from him, he only presents you with silence. Silence and anger on both sides, maybe misdirected, maybe not.

You’ve always respected his creed, his Way. But you’ve never had to like it.

In only his flight suit and helmet, Din stalks over to the doorway with one hand on the side of his helmet and plunges the room into darkness. You don’t hear him approach you, don’t even feel the air move until he’s standing chest to chest with you, lungs heaving. The Hunter. 

Your forehead bumps into the lifted lip of the helmet when his empty hand creeps up your back and pulls you by the neck into a bruising kiss, although he’s quick to send the thing crashing to the floor and free up his other hand to grab at you.

“You don't,” He lifts your shirt over your head, “Know me.”

“No?” You reply, sinking your hand into his suit to squeeze him through his underwear. He growls, like he always does when you do that, and his mouth is hot on yours again. He has always known you, just as you have always known him. However reluctantly.

It’s a power struggle like you’ve never experienced with him. He’s pushing as you’re pulling and every touch is burning and biting, each determined to get your way. Somehow you don’t think there will be any winners tonight.

His every touch cuts you down to your bones, every drag of his fingers as he exposes more and more of you to the night threatens to tear you apart. You revel in the way he’s grabbing you, twisting and turning you just to his liking, and find you don’t miss the softness one bit. Not right now. Your blood still boils at how he’s stepped back from you, revoked the one thing of his you thought you had. Although maybe you never really had it in the first place. 

You don’t give in, you can’t. He’s got you pinned against the bed, smug smile pressed into your neck at your breathlessness, and you sink your teeth into his shoulder. He tastes like salt and metal and you lose yourself in the deep groan that rumbles through him.

Din’s sure you’re trying to break him and, honestly, you’re well on your way to succeeding. Taking him apart piece by piece and leaving him shattered for treating you the way he has. He deserves it. Although he’d argue this is certainly a humane way to exact your revenge. Every touch, every moan and squeal and bite, sends another crack spider webbing through his guard. He’s done pretending every time is the last time, you’ve settled so deep in his heart he’s not sure he could ever dig you out. 

It’s later, in the dark and quiet, when the anger and desperation has faded that you whisper.

“I know you better than I know myself.”

And for a moment, he can pretend that you’re right.

-

TAGLIST (add yourself here):

@brothersdrxke @rebloogggs @keeper0fthestars @remmysbounty @sirianisrock @thevoiceinyourheadx @firstofficerwiggles @1800-fight-me​

[rainywritingsx]

scenario: Beelzebub & Asmodeus trying to get reader back

Request: wOAH your cheater head cannons were AMAZING dude!! if you want, could you write the rest of the brothers? or if that's too much could you do beel and asmo trying their hardest to get MC to forgive them but it just doesn't work and MC gets with someone else and it's super a n g s t y ?

ahh thank you so so much!! Seriously, to everyone who read that, I was so surprised by the response it received. I’m not very experienced with writing angst which is why I was actually terrified of posting it at all since I was worried I might’ve been too dramatic. But all of the positive feedback made me feel at ease, so thank you all so much for giving the scenarios this much love!

I only write for a maximum of 3 characters per request, I’m sorry :/ buuttt this means I will write part 2 for Asmo and Beel! Also you didn’t specify who this other person would be so,,, I decided to use one of the undateables, since I’ve been playing the game for a longer time now and kinda figured out their characters. Also,,,, the thought of MC ending up with one of the other brothers hurts me oof

++ I just noticed that I kinda went somewhere else with your request, I’m so sorry. I only realised this afterwards and well, throwing this away completely isn’t really what I want to do ;-; my dearest apologies, I’ll make sure to be more careful nex time. Now, have fun reading, I hope you’re still able to enjoy it despite the fact that I kind of changed it up a bit!

Total word count: 2498

Beelzebub

To say the demon was absolutely devastated, would be an understatement. His sadness had gotten to the point where his appetite was way less than usual, which did not go unnoticed by the other brothers. They all got worried about him.

It got to the point where Belphegor was fed up with it, which he made clear to his twin brother. They were now in their room, Beel was just staring at the wall without saying anything. His eyes were teary and his cheeks were puffy. The sight was heartbreaking, but Belphie was tired of this and worried, because it’s been at least a week since you two broke up and he hadn’t gotten any better. So he knew something had to change now.

“Beel, listen up,” Belphegor said, his voice low but sharp. Beelzebub looked at Belphegor, indicating that he could go on. “You can’t keep being like this. I get that you’re sad but this won’t get you anywhere. You miss y/n and want her back? Then you have to work for it. She’s not going to come back to you if you don’t even put effort into showing how sorry you are. Stupid humans aren’t that smart.”

Beel didn’t reply for a while, taking in his brother’s words. Belphegor let out an annoyed sigh before mumbling quietly “I’m gonna take a nap.” He didn’t wait for his twin brother to reply and soon dozed off into a deep slumber.

Beelzebub tried his best to concentrate, but his never-ending hunger seemed to be unbearable right now. He made the decision to go to the kitchen and find some food in the fridge to eat. However, even on his way to the kitchen Beel couldn’t stop thinking about Y/n. Since they had broken up with him, he had barely seem them. It seemed they either ate breakfast early as a way to avoid him and at school he barely had any chances to talk to them either. So how was he going to be able to apologise to them? He had to find a way to be with them alone. But what was he even going to do? What was he going to say? A small pout had formed on his face at this point as he looked through the fridge for something tasty.

Upon seeing his custard, his face lit up. And that was also the moment he realised what he could do for y/n. When they were still together, the two would hang out very often and there were so many times where they’d eat custard together, to the point where Beel did not eat it alone anymore. It showed how much he cared about them, as he didn’t share his custard that easily. It also felt like a thing the two of them had at this point. So when Beel grabbed the custard and devoured it, he felt empty. It was different now that he was eating it on his own.

He knew it. He was going to buy the two of them custard, ask y/n to hang out with him and if they don’t want to he will give them space. If they do want to however, he will give them the little surprise and talk to them. He just had to find the right moment. And while on one hand Beel wanted to wait, his heart told him to do it as soon as possible.

“Tomorrow it is, then.” he mumbled to himself.

The next day Beelzebub felt nervous. It had been a while since he talked to y/n and he had no idea how they were feeling right now. But he wouldn’t know unless he tried to find out, right?

So, after their classes, during lunch, he couldn’t take it anymore and tried looking for y/n. He was thinking they were maybe with Mammon, so he tried to find him. Though, when he did find his brother, he noticed he was alone.

“Lookin’ for Y/n?” Mammon asked. Beel almost slightly flinched at how sharp his tone was. It was clear that Mammon was angry at him for what he had done. Without saying a word he nodded.

“I think I saw them walkin’ somewhere with Asmo, towards his locker.” Beel nodded and quickly thanked his brother before leaving to find Y/n. He knew where Asmodeus’ locker was, or at least the area it was at so it wasn’t very difficult to find. When he found them a small smile played on his lips. However, as he took more and more steps forward, he saw that Asmo wasn’t the only one accompanying them. Solomon was there too. He had an arm wrapped around Y/n’s shoulder and laughed as he pressed a kiss to their cheek. Beel could feel his heart drop at the sight. He wasn’t expecting this at all and felt incredibly hurt.

Asmodeus somehow caught sight of his brother, and his eyes widened slightly when he saw his heartbroken standing there like a sad puppy who had just been kicked. Y/n and Solomon noticed their friend looking at something, so they turned their gaze into the direction he was facing. But before the two could see him, Beel quickly walked back.

“Asmo, is something wrong?” Y/n asked, their voice laced with concern. The demon was caught off guard by the question, not even realising he was staring but then smiled and nodded.

“Oh yes! I just suddenly remembered I forgot to close my purple nail polish jar in my room, I’m sure it’s all dried up now.”

“Oh that’s okay! How about we buy a new one after school? I have to get some stuff anyway. Solomon does too, right babe?” Y/n said and looked up at their boyfriend with a small smile. The boy nodded in agreement.

“Alright, sounds great!” Asmo nodded and smiled at the two. Soon his thoughts drifted back to his brother. While Asmodeus definitely did not think what he did was okay, he couldn’t help but feel bad for him. He was still his brother. Part of him wanted to check up on him but he felt like Beel probably needed time alone to process what he had seen.

In the meantime, Beelzebub was walking towards the cafeteria, shoulders hung low, gaze towards the ground and eyes filled with tears. Y/n had the right to move on, of course they did. He just wasn’t prepared to see it happening already. He felt like now there was no way of getting them back.

Of course Y/n would rather be with Solomon. He was a human just like them, they’d be able to live their regular life in their own world while also having a boyfriend. Of course they wouldn’t want a sinful demon like him. He decided to just give up. Maybe it was best for them both, or it was just best for Y/n. He wasn’t sure. But he knew they were happier with Solomon than with him. He saw a sparkle in their eyes, the one that had left when Y/n caught him cheating on them. Anyone that could make them that happy was worthy of being with them to Beel.

But if it was the right thing, why did it still hurt this much? The emptiness that he felt was bigger than any hunger he had felt in his entire life. But he had to accept it because at the end of the day, it was his own fault for making that horrible mistake.

Asmodeus

To any outsider, Asmo seemed completely fine, as if he wasn’t sad at all. But his brothers all knew it was the exact opposite. Asmodeus tried doing even more self care, went shopping even more than usual and spent an extra amount of times around succubi and witches. It was all to get Y/n off of his mind because as soon as soon as he would get to the house of Lamentation and had nothing to do, thoughts about them filled his head. Something in him wanted to find them and almost beg them to take him back, but there’s this other part of him that’s incredibly ashamed of himself.

And as mentioned before, his brothers could notice his change in mood. Though they condemned his actions, he was still their brother and they couldn’t  just ignore him. Of course Asmo was going to make some very stupid mistakes with heavy consequences, but he would learn from those.

So at one point Satan made the decision to talk to his brother about the problem that hadn’t been talked about just yet. Satan knew Asmo regretted what he did and wanted Y/n back and he also knew that his brother was stuck on what to do now.

“How have you been, Asmo?” Satan asked as he entered his brother’s room after having knocked on the door. The younger demon quickly forced a smile as he looked at his brother, hoping that he would fall for his trick. But knowing Satan, it wouldn’t be long before he noticed Asmo’s facade. Still, he wanted to try.

“I’ve been doing great Satan! Oh, I bought some new makeup and accessories today and some would look lovely on you! Wanna try them on?”

“That does sound nice, but I need to talk to you about something right now.” Asmodeus could feel himself sulking as he knew where this conversation was heading. He also was aware of the fact that avoiding it would be pointless, so he decided not to protest and just nodded.

“We’ve all been worried about you Asmo. Of course I do know how you are, but we can all tell that something is off.” Asmodeus bit his lip as he averted his gaze, his eyes falling on a shirt that seemed to have fallon the ground. And of course, it was Y/n’s… They had probably left it here once and forgot to bring it back.

His brother’s eyes followed the direction in which he was looking, and he quickly realised what the piece of clothing was.

“Hey, how about you bring it back to them and talk about what happened?” Satan proposed. Asmo shook his head immediately, not wanting to be confronted with his disgusting actions again. He was already ashamed of what he had done.

“Satan, they will never forgive me. I hurt them so badly even though I never meant to. There is no way that this will be fixed.” Satan sighed softly and shook his head at his brother's words.

“But hey, you’re Asmodeus, aren’t you? Who can resist you? Who can not love you? Has anyone truly hated you for a long time?” He edged on, knowing that Asmo needed little confidence boosts like this. He knew these would cheer him up eventually, it just took some time and patience.

“Well there was a witch one time…. no nevermind she forgave me after 100 years so it ended up totally fine.” His brother chuckled and nodded.

“See? And on top of that, humans have a shorter lifespan, so I think everything will be okay soon. Y/n definitely loved you while you two were together and I find it hard to imagine that they have lost all of their feelings for you by now.”  Satan could be right… After all, he was very smart, so he would not say something if he hadn’t thought about it or hadn’t put some logic to it. Perhaps he was right. Maybe trying to talk it out was a good idea. If they wouldn’t take him back, maybe they could still be at least friends. But first he had to find them of course.

“Do you happen to know if Y/n is here?” Asmo asked Satan, who pondered for a moment before replying.

“I think they went somewhere with Luke, Simeon and Mammon. They said they’d be back soon though.” Mammon too? That was an interesting combination. “Mammon went along because ‘a weak human and two angels aren’t safe here’” Asmo chuckled, yeah that does sound like Mammon and explains a lot.

“Well, I will be taking my leave now then. Tell me how it went later, okay?”

While Asmo waited for Y/n, he could slowly feel a slight feeling of anxiety creeping in. He hadn’t felt this way in a very long time. It scared him a little even. He always felt like he was in control in some way, since it was always people fawning over him, being nervous around him, but now it seemed to be the other way around. How could a mortal human have this influence on him? Maybe it was their presence, their uniqueness, he didn’t know. He couldn’t pinpoint what exactly it was.

However, he didn’t have more time to think about it now, because he heard the sound of a few voices in a conversation. Immediately his head perked up and he couldn’t help but smile when his eyes caught Y/n walking in his direction. That smile fell soon though, because then his gaze fell on the angel walking next to them. He was holding their hand as his eyes looked lovingly into theirs. He knew exactly what that look meant, and the fact that Y/n had a similar sparkle in their eyes said a lot.

Asmodeus felt defeated. He wasn’t expecting this and maybe that was why it hurt so much. The two radiated so much joy. It seemed like Y/n was completely healed from the pain Asmo had caused them. Soon his throat felt dry and his eyes quickly filled with tears. Before anyone noticed, Asmo quickly went to his room and locked the door before plopping down on his bed. He finally let out sobs which he tried to muffle by covering his hand with his mouth.

Why was he even crying? He was the one who hurt them. This was his fault, not theirs. He was the last person who was allowed to cry over this. But still, he couldn’t help but feel his heart crumble when he tried to process what he saw. They moved on. He messed up and now there was definitely no way that they were going to take him back. And he only had himself to blame for this mess.

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans are Space Orcs, “Heroic Incompetence.”

Wrote this at the suggestion of an anonymous reader :) Hope you all like it and have a great day :)

He sat next to her on the bed, legs crossed and a book in his lap. Wearing only shorts and a T- shirt, he looked significantly smaller than he usually did, either in his uniform or in his trademark jacket and jeans. It also made him look significantly younger with his scruffy blond hair sticking up in all directions. And now that he had finally shaved and gotten some sleep, he was looking even better than he had when he found her.

Her perception probably wasn’t helped by the stack of graphic novels he had sitting beside his right knee, most of them star wars themed all of them sci-fi. He had taken the day off to sit with her since the drugs were still not cleared from her system, and krill had demanded that she rest.

She had only been a little surprised when he insisted that she take his bed, which he argued was much bigger and more comfortable than the crew quarters. Also he had a TV.

She was surprised he would be so brash about something like that, but she supposed after almost losing her he would be a little more lax on their secret. She sighed deeply half napping half awake as he flipped through his books. She had a sneaking suspicion that he also wanted to be close by her to monitor her mental state after what had happened. She didn’t blame him, though at this point it was all just seeming like some sort of horrible dream.

She felt disconnected, far away, and her only reminder that it had actually happened came from the silver vambrace on her am  covering the spot where her carapace would never grow again 

Eventually she cracked an eye and glanced down at him.

He was looking at her with a concerned expression.

She sighed, “I’m fine.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“I know what you were thinking.”

“Well stop trying to read my mind then.”

The two of them grew quiet, “So what did I miss while I was gone…. How did you find me, what happened?”

He sat up, puffing out his chest rather proudly, “Well I have you know I was a stoic badass the entire time. After I clawed my way out of the sand, I marched across the desert with single minded determination not an ounce of hopelessness or self pity ever entering my mind.”

***

One month prior

-

It was Hopeless!

He had never felt self pity this profound in his entire life! He had lost her1 He had been so close to finding her and he had gone and lost her! He was hopeless and pathetic. If he had only just held on for a little longer than maybe he would have been able to save her. His feet burned in the scorching desert sand and he staggered aimlessly from one side to the next burning up in the scorching heat. His was so tired, and his throat was so dry, like sand. He felt like choking, a few times he staggered to his knees and screamed at the yellow green sky in anger and frustration,but no one ever hard him.

He had to get her back, somehow he had to get her back.

The desert sand was awash with light blue, like the sky and it seemed to be the same in all directions he looked, every dune and hill just like the last, yet the implant in his arm told him he was heading in the right direction. How long had he chased her before he had fallen into the sand. He just wanted to lay down for a minute, lay down for a minute and scream, but he had to keep going.

He pushed himself up the nearest sand dune hoping beyond hope that he would see the city over the next rise.

That is when he heard it, just from behind him.

The roaring of shuttle engines.

He turned on the spot down to stare at the shuttles. He wanted to yell  and wave his arms, to run to them and beg them to help find Sunny, but NO, he couldn’t, he couldnt be like this.

Kicking himself internally for his weakness, he straightened up and forced himself to focus as the shuttles landed. He was going to find Sunny, he was going to find her and bring her back no matter the cost. There was nothing, not in this universe, not in heaven nor hell that could stop him.

Even if he had to fight angels and shake hands with the devil.

The shuttles landed, and he marched forward head down brows furrowed downward like thunderheads brushing past the marines and onto the shuttle. He was going to to find whoever had one this and they were going to pay.

***

Sunny snorted and raised a brow over one eye, “Oh really.”

“Damn straight.” He said, setting down his book and turning to look at her. He had a shallow cut across one cheek given to him during a fight in some not so distant past, but his smile was as bright as ever.

He leaned forward, crawling over on hands and knees to lay next to her resting his hands behind his head.

“So after your stoic badassery in the desert, what happened.”

He rolled onto his side to look at her, the corner of his mouth twitching up in a jaunty smile. “Well, I admit that I was a little bit down, obviously. I mean what does someone do without the best part of their life.” He waved a hand dismissively, “But I persevered. I kept my emotions in check sure not a tear would escape past me until I found you, and even then, only if I was too late.” he looked at herein that moment very seriously, “You know, because real men don’t cry.”

Sunny just smirked.

***

One month Prior

-

He couldn't stop crying. While he could suppress the racking sobs that threatened to tear him in half, nothing he tried could prevent the tears from rolling down his face on hot and heavy streams. Where was it all coming from! He was positive that by now his entire body should be nothing more than a mummified corpse with all of the tears he had shed, yet they just would not stop, likely draining down through his sinuses and reabsorbing back into his body for another go.

Still, the collar of his shirt was soaked, and his face was sticky with tears eyelashes crusted with salt.

His head pounded.

Ever since she had vanished, he just couldn’t keep his emotions in check. He admitted to himself that he often played fast and loose with his own feelings, but this was just ridiculous. Holding himself together for the crew was all he could do though beyond that he was a quivering mess, hiding on the bridge in the observation room, or in his own room where no one could see him.

Now he was standing on the observation deck, the tears rolling down his face and into the scruffy five o clock shadow just sprouting on his cheeks and chin.

Light filtered in from behind him, and in that light, he could detect the movement of shadows, two tall shadows and one very short shadow. He knew that the were watching him, and so kept his back straight and hands clasped behind his back so as to seem hard and contemplative.

Inside, he was forcing himself to calm, forbidding the tears to fall anymore and, hopefully, dry on his face before anyone could come and speak with him. He needed to remain calm and professional. He needed to convince the others that he was in charge, and that everything would be ok.

The moment they saw him believing otherwise was the moment that it would be true. As their commanding officer…. As their admiral, he was what stood between them and hopeless defeat at the hands of their own morale.”

***

She shifted a little in her place, and he helped to adjust the pillow behind her. He sat up against the headboard, and she made the executive decision, leaning her head down to rest on his lap. He wrapped an arm around her, resting his hand on her back, while the other was leaned up against the top of the headboard where a jar of moon rocks and mars dirt sat

He stroked his fingers over the side of her cheek and she hummed softly, “So You were an emotionless badass superhero out for revenge against those who had wronged you, and in the shadows you brooded and waited as you scoured the universe for me?”

He smirked, “PRretty much.”

She hummed again deep in her throat adjusting her head against the warmth of his body, “Right…. A righteous warrior of justice. And I assume during all of this you remained in tortuous silence of our secret, unable to tell anyone of your private pain for fear of what might happen if you let something slip.”

He was quiet for a moment, and she cracked an eye to look up at him.

His one eye was very wide, like a deer caught in the headlights.

She shut her eyes and hummed.

“Yes of course, I wallowed heroically in silence my emotions bottled up, locked like a vault inside my heart with the key tossed into the darkest abyss of the ocean where no one migh find it. I couldn’t tell anyone.”

***

One Month prior

-

He had to tell someone. He had to, it was just too much to keep a secret. It was just too much for someone not to know what he was feeling. Just one person, if he could just share with one person maybe he would feel better. 

Keeping himself…. Like this was just torture…. No one could expect…

He had to do it.

Standing behind him in the darkness, he could sense Ramirez’s eyes on him, watching him.

So he turned, his eyes clear but the words heavy as lead on his tongue. The other man stared at him, his expression hard to read in the darkness.

He felt as if he was slipping out of his body, seeing himself from the outsider rather than viewing the next words he spoke from the inside as he normally should, “I...Love her Ramirez… I don’t know what I’ll do without her.”

The words rolled from his tongue and spilled onto reality…. He had finally admitted it, finally admitted it to his best friend.

What would he do.

How would he react?

Staring at the man’s face, he was surprised to find that he didn't appear to be phased in the slightest. It was as if he had just told him that the earth turns, and some birds fly south for the winter. He acted as if it was the most natural predictable phenomena in the universe.

There was only a slight pressure as Ramirez squeezed his shoulder, “I know… I know.”

Adam stepped back in near surprise.

Ramirez almost rolled his eyes, “Adam you have all but SAID those words. I think everyone on the ship, or at least everyone from the original Harbinger knows by now. You guys aren’t exactly discreet about your feelings towards each other. This shouldn’t surprise you.

He sat there mouth opening and closing with surprise.

But he supposed the more he thought about it the more he had to admit Ramirez was right.

There were signs.

And he had always been bad at keeping secrets.

It made complete sense.

He dropped his head, “that obvious huh.”

“Does the moon orbit the earth?”

He took a seat dropping his head into his hands, “You must think I’m nuts.”

Ramirez sat next to him placing a hand on his shoulder, “Seriously, ‘me’ think ‘you’ crazy. Adam, c’mon, I have dated people way crazier than Sunny, and that’s a fact. No one can beat me when it comes to psycho exes.

When he didn’t respond, Ramirez placed a hand on his shoulder, “We are going to find her Adam. I promise. If anyone in this galaxy has the connections, or the know how to find her, it is you.”

He nodded.

He had to believe it, he just had to.

***

Sunny reached up wrapping her fingers through his, five to four, “A tragic hero indeed.”

He shrugged nonchalantly, “You know, that's me.”

“How did you eventually find me anyway, after all, it is a big universe, and even with all your resources, it couldn’t have been easy.”

He shook his head, “No, it wasn’t. For the first few weeks we had no leads at all, but it was actually your brother who came up with the final lead that led me to you. Turns out your big brother has connections that I didn’t know about, and they led us to a fence hiding out in some grimy hotel downtown in noctropolis.”

“Oh, and how did you manage to swing all that? You and my brother went in guns blazing did you?”

A smile twitched at the corner of his mouth. “We were a well oiled machine, a precision instrument of stealth and intimidation. No one has even been more synchronized than us. The operation could not have gone more smoothly.” 

***

About a week and a half earlier

-

They were a fucking wreck.

And this night was a wreck to go right along with it.

They were stuck in the seedy elevator of an even seedier hotel jammed up together against Kanan’s immense bulk as he was crunched against the ceiling above in the tiny elevator.

Adam grunted, his face pressed against the elevator’s interior mirror, the metal of the iron eye suit jammed into his back.

“Your fat ass broke the elevator.”

“I didn’t break it.” Kanan complained, “the Weight limit says 800 lbs.”

“They are Tesraki Kanan they LIED.”

“Well why didn’t you think of this before we got in the damn elevator. I’m not from somewhere where we have an elevator.”

Kanan shifted and he was squished further into the wall choking and gasping, “Just pry the damn door open you big lug.”

“I can’t reach.”

“Uh Fine, I’ll do it just let me….”

What followed was a very uncoordinated hustle of grumbling pushing flailing and grunting as the two maneuvered around each other in the most horrible game of twister that ever existed, with entirely to many arms, and pointy bits, until Adam was in the right position to jam the fingers of the iron-eye suit into the cracks and then pull.

The elevator groaned and the metal screeched in protest, but at some point the locking mechanism gave way and he was able to shove the elevator doors open. It was just then when Kanan could no longer hold his position and stumbled forward, knocking into Adam who, in turn burst from the elevator and flew headfirst into an unsuspecting Tesraki, who only had a moment to let off the first notes of a scream before being slammed into the wall and completely knocked out.

An explosion of towels fell to the floor around them as Adam sat up on his knees staring down at the Tesraki, completely knocked out, their tongue hanging out of their mouth.

“Shit.”

He patted the Tesraki on the cheek, “Uh wake up.” The Tesraki’s head fell to the side, tongue still lolling.

“Shit.” He said again as Kanan pried himself from the elevator nearly tripping over a towel and landing on top of the two of them for a second time. He did manage to avoid falling on them, but in his haste, to avoid doing just that, he tripped over Adam and went pitching into the floor sending up another wave of towels.

Adam glowered at him, “Are you serious right now.”

Kanan sat up rubbing his head.

“Help me fold these towels.” Adam snarled, awkwardly propping the unconscious Tesraki against the wall before grabbing a pile of fallen towels.

Kanan took one of the towels and stared at it, fiddling around for a moment.

Adam stared at him again, “You have four arms, Kanan, seriously.’

The Drev flipped him a rude gesture.

After a while they had one unconscious Tesraki, and a stack of poorly folded towels leaning heavily against the wall in an uneven pile.

Adam stood and brushed off his hands, staring down at the floppy Tesraki and their shoddy work.

“Er…. hm.” Then a grim smile split his face, “I have an idea.”

A few moments later the two of them waddled down the hall carrying stacks of towels, leaving the Tesraki to slowly slump to the floor skidding slowly down the wall with the soft brushing noise of fur.

“Are you sure this is going to work?” Kanan muttered from behind his stack of towels, “I wouldn’t believe it.”

‘It’ll be fine, I promise”, he said as he raised his hand to knock on the waiting door.

***

Sunny couldn’t stop from snorting. And he stared down at her with his brows furrowed as she began to laugh, “You jest, but its true.”

She continued to laugh, and eventually he joined in with her.”

“So how about the boarding party, how did that go.”

He shrugged, “it was pretty straightforward. We found where their ship was located, deployed the gravity grapples, and then had our AI hack their airlock to open it for us. When we got inside kanan and I did a quick sweep with the marines covering us from behind. Of course you know the rest.’

She smiled a bit, “I kind of like you when your angry. That part where you smashed the saw into his foot….well I have never found you so attractive.”

The two of them laughed again.

And he leaned further back against his pillows.

The room went quiet for a moment.

She looked up at him.

“That was all a lie wasn’t it.”

“Yep.”

“You crawled out of that sand hopeless and miserable didn’t you?”

“yeah , I have to admit that I wasn’t doing too good. Kind of hard not to be hopeless in the scorching desert heat. But I did mange to pull myself together when we got back on the shuttles.”

“You cried like a baby didn’t you.”

“You would think after like an entire day of on and off tears, at some point the body wouldn’t be able to produce any more water.” He shook his head, “But no, as it turns out it just squeezes out more water while simultaneously giving you the more horrible headache you can possibly imagine. Even Waffles got tired of it after some point, and she has the patience of a saint.”

Sunny couldn’t help but laugh. Of course the thought of Adam so upset was horrible but, but there was just something so funny about it all, about him, about the way he had bounced back from all of that.”

“Let me guess, Ramirez knows?”

Adam sighed, “yeah, he knows, but he told me that the entire ship pretty much knows and to stop deluding ourselves into thinking we are good at keeping secrets.”

Sunny turned her head to look at him, “And he is just fine with this?”

“This IS Ramirez we are talking about Sunny. I could be dating the tentacle monster and he wouldn't bat an eye, probably say something about how he’s seen weirder, or talk about some guy he dated that might as well have had tentacles.”

“How about that thing with you and my brother?”

Adam snorted, “it wasn’t funny at the time, but looking back on it, the sheer incompetence that the two of us managed to pull off and STILL rescue you is absolutely astounding.”

She continued to laugh, pulling him closer in the process.

He laughed with her, and she decided once and for all that that washer favorite sound. No matter what, It was a sound she would never get tired of, and spent a few moments basking in the glow.

After a moment, she paused and sat up to lean against him nuzzling the hair on his head lightly with her cheek, “Adam?

“Yes.”

“Not to make this too serious or anything, but I just… well I need you to know you aret incompetent.”

He looked up at her eyebrow slanted slightly up, seeming surprised.

“You aren’t incompitent, you’re a hero and a warrior, and you should remember that.”

A small smile flickered at the corner of his mouth, “Well how could I possibly disagree with you”

“You can’t.” She rested a hand on his, “Like you always say, It’s not stupid if it works.”

[queerhannibal]

How do you deal with the abusive aspect of Hannigram relationship ? Despite everything, Hannibal is cold manipulative killer who gaslighted, brutalised Will more than once. Let his encephalitis almost kill him off, sent killers for him. Stole his lover (Alana. He attacked his wife and child. After the attack on Molly it would be very jarring if the producers show a cordial relationship between Hannibal and Will. I still find it hard that the show romanticises violence and abusive relationship

hmm well I mean I feel like while I agree with the statements you made about what happened in the show I disagree with every piece of analysis you’ve made except that hannigram is abusive: Hannibal is not cold, he did not steal Will’s lover (Will had absolutely no claim to Alana, who had specifically said she did not want to date him), and the show does not romanticize abuse

Hannibal has definitely done a lot of extremely fucked up stuff to Will, and I have no interest in suggesting otherwise. It’s definitely an abusive relationship that’s unhealthy for both of them. But the show doesn’t present this like it’s a good thing? The show in no way indicates that that’s desirable or even acceptable??

They both have repeatedly tried to leave each other and to kill each other mostly because they know the relationship they have is bad for them and they wanted out of it. Even at the very end of the show when Will accepted that he enjoyed killing with Hannibal, he tried to kill the both of them so he wouldn’t have to face actually Being With the man who had tortured him and killed (and tried to kill) people he loved

The show goes out of its way to show us that Will finds the abusive parts about being with Hannibal horrible and exhausting and generally Not Desirable, and I think based on Hannibal’s actions it seems he’s also no longer interested in having an abusive relationship with Will, and perhaps even regrets some of the abuse he’s caused Will (if only bc he regrets that it’s distanced Will from him). It’s not romanticizing abuse to show two people in an abusive relationship?? It would only be romanticizing it if the narrative suggested that they were somehow a relationship to aspire to, which they are plainly not by any means

When I imagine what their relationship looks like going forward, I imagine that there are a lot of very difficult conversations that they’ll have to have if they have any hope of being anything like happy with each other, and I imagine that they will continue to hurt each other in various ways despite no longer particularly wanting to

I think it is an inherently abusive and violent relationship and that it will continue to be such, no matter how hard they try to be good to each other. They’ve both hurt each other too much for either of them to be able to simply set that aside and move on without psychological ramifications, and they are violent people—I imagine that most of the intent behind the violence against each other will become more friendly, but I do imagine that they will continue to be violent with each other forever. I don’t think either of them wants to actually abuse the other anymore, though: I’m sure they’ll still play their games, but they’ll just be games for the sake of playing, not intended to cause actual distress or harm

How do I deal with the abusive part? Well I mean I enjoy playing around with a couple that’s allowed to be pretty messy and horrible with each other, and I also enjoy writing them trying to work through the worst of the knots they’ve tied themselves in. There’s something I find particularly compelling about two people in an abusive relationship who are trying really hard to make the relationship as healthy as it can be, while still being incapable of pulling it entirely out of its abusive roots. That’s usually how I prefer to write them bc it’s neat to explore

The relationship is shitty. It sucks. They both know that it’s shitty and founded on even shittier foundations. They both also know that no matter how hard they try, they’re both going to keep coming back to this relationship until they die, and they might as well try to make it as not-shitty as they can since they’re stuck here and neither of them really wants to live without the other. It’s all they have, their only shot at anything approaching happiness, and they’re going to give it the best shot they can bc they’re both too tired to keep fighting it

[siennahrobek]

Two months after the Temple Siege and Evacuation

It was a risk.

Being who she was and sneaking around the Senate was not a good idea, but she always was so good at blending in, being unnoticeable, even by some of the best force-sensitives. She had little choice. She had to meet up with her contact and he was completely unable to be anywhere else.

Things had been difficult since the end of the war and the attempted genocide of the jedi; of her people. The new emperor already had such an iron fist on the people, on the government, but she supposed that was to be expected. Palpatine had already a grip on everything and everyone before he completely turned over the Republic, remolding it into an Empire.

He had done a lot.

She had learned a lot.

Hopefully, she would be able to eventually get off this stupid planet to help them.

She had learned of the Siege too late; had been much too far away from her home to do anything about it. Too far away to make it too the ships that left by the evacuation. She had been too deep into the underbelly of Coruscant to know anything until it was too late. It was alright, though. She could gather information. She could survive, even with a Sith Master on the planet. She burned warm but not bright and strong. Blending in was not hard.

Sneaking through the halls after the meeting with her contact, she should have known she would be caught.

She just was not expecting who would catch her.

He looked rather disgusting, disfigured in a way that she wasn’t entirely sure. His presence was sick and oily, something so dark into an abyss. She wondered, for a brief moment, how no one had felt him, so strong and evil and dark. But then she figured he wasn’t shielding anymore; he didn’t have to. He smiled at her, teeth cracked and yellowed, sitting in a seat like he knew he would come across her.

“Ah,” he chuckled. “I remember you.”

A beast of a man was in the shadows, not quite within her sightlines, as the area was rather murky and dark, and he wasn’t nearly as disgusting but still greasy and shadowy. He took a step forward, anger spiking and menacing radiating but Palpatine made a move and he stopped, hesitating barely. For some reason, he hated her.

She didn’t dare reach out for his presence.

“Emperor Palpatine,” she greeted curtly.

“It is good to see that you survived.”

“Why is that?”

“Because I thought it may be prudent to offer you a place in my new order,” Palpatine –the Sith – replied and she could practically feel the oily darkness dripping off of him. “I’ve always liked you and I could very well use someone of your…talents.”

She paused, as if she was considering it.

Of course, she was, it was an undercover opportunity practically handed to her by the enemy.

“I, however, would advise subterfuge,” he pointed out and she nearly cursed. He sighed, as if expecting such a thing and nearly shrugged, although she was not entirely sure if he could, considering the physical state he was in. “It is unfortunate that you have such loyalty. All is well, I suppose. You will just have to die like dogs with the rest of them.”

There was a pause.

“Perhaps it would be prudent for Lord Vader here to hunt you down like one,” he chuckled, thinking about this new option. She felt sick to her stomach as something of glee and anticipation projected from the beast behind him. “It rather would be poetic and ironic,” he murmured.

“What does that mean?”

“I have been told that there is a jedi that cares rather much for you,” he pointed out.

“The Jedi are a people of compassion and kindness. They care very much about people,” she replied, stiff and flat.

He just kept grinning. She wanted to punch him in the face.

“This one has taken someone very close to Lord Vader, I think he would rather relish in the chance to take someone Obi-Wan Kenobi loves in return,” Palpatine suggested.

She didn’t react. She could not afford to. Obi-Wan loved freely and in large quantities. You couldn’t throw a rock in a crowd and not hit a person that he loved. It was something that she admired about him. “I don’t think we are on the same page here.”

“Whether or not you feel the same, rather irrelevant I suppose.” Palpatine sighed, dramatically. She felt like any moment he would spin around in his chair like a child. The thought was jarring. “But it is more for Lord Vader’s benefit than anyone else, as Master Kenobi wouldn’t feel anything. He cannot longer feel anything. Not anymore.”

She knew the implication. She couldn’t believe it. Obi-Wan was a survivor, more than anyone she had ever known. “You’re lying.”

He almost sounded offended when he spoke and something was still rolling around the man behind him, the Sith apprentice. Something that made her more on edge than ever before. There was something to him that made her feel real fear. She tried to squish it down the best she could. Palpatine seemed to rather enjoy this. “Oh, but why, my girl, would I lie to you about such a thing? What do I have to gain?”

She didn’t say anything.

The apprentice stepped forward. It was still dark; she could barely make out anything about him aside from his shiny cybernetic limbs and the horrible burning yellow of his eyes. He was fury, she realized.

There was only one thing left to do.

She fled.

*

She had many contacts on Coruscant. She had many contacts in general. But she ended up hiding with a kindly nurse as far from the Senate as she could get on the planet, a nurse that lived decently deep into the planet, where she could hide.

He takes her in with bare a second thought. He feeds her and is so pleasantly nice. They don’t talk a lot about the news and propaganda on the jedi, the new emperor turning the citizens against them like never before. He knows it is bull but even if he didn’t, he knew her and he would help her. It is dark outside and nearly anyone on the planet would be asleep when he tells her about one of his current patients.

The patient, a young man, was saved from a devastating blaster wound and somehow, along the way, partially lost his mind. His memory was coming back slowly, but for some reason, he is obsessed with the jedi. In the capacity he is able, however. He tells her about this man and his condition; how they have absolutely no idea how this person had lost so much from a wound that had nothing to do with his head. There was no cause for it and his reaction to their medicine had not been poor.

He told her about a lot of different patients, many of them funnier stories, but she locks onto this one.

He tells her of that patient and how he keeps repeating virtually the same thing.

“I have to warn the jedi.”

She blinks when he tells her this and quietly asks if she can see him. He thinks it is odd, but she has always had odd requests. She is odd herself. But she is his friend, and he trusts her. She has done miracles, he knows, he remembers. Perhaps she wants to help. Perhaps she could.

They go very early in the morning, before anyone is up, when there is just the skeleton crew. No one gives them a second glance as he leads her down the halls to the residency halls for their longer-term patients.

He is awake when the two of them enter his room and the patient nearly starts crying at the sight of her. Like he knows. Like he sees straight through her disguise. It should be impossible. No one should be able to see through her disguise. She is a master of it, it is her job. He is on his knees in an instant, sobbing and begging for help, for her to believe him. He is hesitant but desperate to reach for her. She barely brushed against his mind. There was so much there, all tangled and jumbled. No wonder everyone thought he was crazy.

“I have to warn you! I have to warn you!”

She doesn’t know him. She’s never seen him before. But she knows his face.

She kind of understands his relief. She knows she can help him.

He is a clone.

[thearcana-junkie]

He Doesnt Get Mad. He Gets Even.

Pairing; Asra X MC

Type; Funny//Angsty

WARNINGS; Angry Asra. Revenge. Name calling.

Authors Notes(?);

* Valerian root is known to have sedative effects, which is one reason it's used for insomnia. However, using valerian may lead to vivid dreams or even nightmares in some people.

Long-ish fic under the cut.

--------------------------------

Asra doesn't get angry, or at least you've never seen him get angry— actually, that's not true. You've seen him mad, agitated, annoyed. But this Asra, The one standing in front of your that was absolutely fuming to the point you could feel it in his magic aura. You were absolutely shocked to the point you weren't even paying attention to the person his anger was directed at. It all happened so fast too.

Today was one of those days— The ones where you kinda had your head in the clouds and didn't really pay attention which was fine since it was a very slow day with customers. Most just wanted a certain herb or pre-made potion you had on the shelves.

One guy though, this guy who already seemed in a bad mood, he came in. "I need a potion." He asserted as soon as he came in, his voice jarring you from your thoughts. "Hm? Yeah, sure what kind?" You asked in a rather bored tone. "A sleeping potion." He replied that would explain why he seemed to grouchy. You could tell by his aura, his tone of voice, the way he stood so stiff and crouched like he was a snake ready to strike at the first dumb comment.

Luckily you knew exactly where these were so he would be out of your head, You turn and skim over the cabinet your eyes landing where the potion should have been.

That right, you'd sold the last one earlier to a girl with bags under her eyes.

You sighed through your nose, you'd have to make a new one meaning the longer he was here. Just his presence turned your mood. "I'll have to make a new one." You stated, "Well get on with it you don't need to ask permission." He retorted with a snarl like a dog. You just rolled your eyes at the comment giving him the benefit of the doubt, he was tired.

You had made these potions all the time since Julian was a regular when he wasn't at Mezlinka's house and didn't have her special soup he came here to get a potion. You could make this potion with your eyes closed— or so you thought.

You began adding ingredients needed, halfway through you got lost in thought again. You finished it quicker than normal and handed it to the man who paid and left.

That was that, you wouldn't have to deal with him anymore.

The next day your head was firmly on your shoulders unlike the day before. You were more grounded and paid more attention. Today Asra was upstairs asleep since he and you had stayed up last night rolling around in the sheets, you didn't blame him for sleeping in since he worked really hard.

While you were restocking some potions that had run out. You heard the bell ring and turned around to see a familiar grouchy face from the day before. "You lying witch!" He snapped as he slammed the door behind him. You grabbed one of the potions that had fallen off the shelf from the jarring slam. Your eyebrow raised and you gave a confused expression along with a "Huh?".

"That potion you gave me yesterday made me have nightmares all night! Some sleeping potion! You shouldn't be allowed to sell fake potions!!" He all but yelled as he put the empty potion bottle on the counter. You reached over and grabbed it, you took a whiff and you were instantly hit the strong smell of Valerian root*. That would explain a lot. You stuck your finger in and scooped up some of the liquid left and tasted it, you cringed. That's now how it's supposed to taste. It was missing ingredients.

"Ah, Sorry I made it wrong yesterday." You hummed with a happy expression, you not faltering to his aggressiveness made his blood boil more so than before.

Soft thumps came from the stairs as a tired Asra walked down to see al the commotion.

"Here you can have some of the new ones I made this morning. On the hous-" you were cut off by the man knocking the potion out of your hand. It shattered on the ground, Now this had Asra's attention. What's with this guy?

"I don't want anything from you! If you can't even make a simple potion that is apparently so sought after you had none yesterday then why would I trust any other potions you had. For all I know that could be poison." He raised his voice as he chewed you out for your minor error. This didn't sit well with Asra. "Hey, it was a mistake!" Asra stepped in.

"I suppose you're their boss? How do you manage to hire someone so incompetent and dumb!?" He snapped. Asra narrowed his eyes, the man was insulting you! Who does he think he is to insult someone he loved, someone he adored, someone who he saw as a god among mortals.

Asra's blood boiled in aggression as he stood in front of you. "Oh, I'm so sorry MR perfect! Here have a potion on the house." Asra growled as he grabbed a potion any potion and opened it, he dumped the continents on the man who gasped in shock. "How dare you!?" The man yelled. "How dare me? How dare you! You come in yelling at someone you don't even know over some minor inconvenience, calling them dumb!" Asra snapped with such anger is honestly surprised him.

You'd never seen him so angry, even when fighting Lucio he never got so angry. He was mad sure, and when you first started hanging out with Julian is was annoyed and jealous but this was so much more. His eyes dilated, showing so much aggression they threatened the kill the man with only a glare. His hands in a fist as he held back the urge to just hit the man, just once, he wanted to just once.

"Oh! And if they're the dumb one then maybe you should know that the word Incompetence and DUMB mean the same damn thing, you moron!" Asra added with a snarl. "Get out!!" He snapped as he pushed the man with so much force out the door that seemed to open on it own onto the street. Asra slammed the door shut, not as hard as the man did when he walked in.

Asra was panting softly from all the adrenaline. Your soft touch on his shoulder made him look at you, his expression changing from aggression to a soft one instantly. "Hey." You smiled as if announcing that you there for the first time, and to Asra you were. He hadn't even realized you were in the room when he was yelling. His body swiveled around as he hugged you tightly as if to tell you that everything the man had said was a lie silently.

His hug was also an unspoken promise.

A promise that he'd always protect you whether from a goat demon or from an angry customer.

The rest of the day he closed the shop so he could just lay with you and whisper how much you meant to him. Honestly what the man said didn't even bother you but if this meant Asra would baby you so much you'd gladly be chewed out by any and every customer.

———————————————————————

A few weeks later.

You were in the shop, Asra was reading on the couch. The door opened and the man from a few weeks ago stumbled in. Upon seeing him again you'd expect Asra to be angry but he wasn't, in fact, Asra only looked up from his book momentarily.

The man was stumbling, his eyes had horrible bags under his eyes. "Please! I'm sorry! I'm really sorry!!! Please I need sleep!!!" The man all but cried as he laid on the counter staring at you with eyes full of sorrow. "Please take off whatever curse you put on me." He begged.

You raised an eyebrow as you eyed the man. "I didn't..." you mumbled, you noised the necklace around the man's neck that looked familiar, you narrowed you eyes as you reached over and pulled it until the string snapped. You eyed the necklace knowing exactly what was going on. "There, your good to go." You said as you waved the man off. The man quickly left to go home and finally get some sleep.

You walked over to Asra and stood in front of him. "Asraaaa." You scolded. He looked up from his book and at the necklace in your hand with one big Shit-eating grin. "Asra did you have Muriel make a hex charm!" You scudded, he laid his book down and pulled you into his lap laying his head on your shoulder as he pulled your back to his chest. "I assure you I have no idea what you're talking about My love." He said as he smirked softly.

Like I said before, Asra doesn't get mad— He gets even.

———————————————————————

[justjessame]

Starting Over Chapter 20

While I waited for more pineapples, which came here and there, I got refamiliarized with the feel of a camera in my hand.  Not a cellphone, but a real camera.  Connie had been right, there was a list of names, in Mom’s handwriting because clearly Dad had asked her to write them out so I wouldn’t have to decipher his chicken scratch, with notes and contact information.  

I didn’t watch the news.  Call me a coward, but honestly, I was afraid I’d see Bucky’s face - marked as a terrorist or worse - and my anxiety would ratchet beyond anything a tiny pineapple would ever hope to diffuse. 

I read the notes Mom had made next to each contact Dad had made - what each person had wanted from me before I called or emailed, the likelihood they would be helpful in the path my Dad seemed more certain of than me.  Some wanted a portfolio to grade, or judge, before they would speak to me by phone - digital would be fine.  Others wanted actual prints, and a list of the sizes, finishes, and subjects they expected were included along with how they expected those prints to be presented.  There were a few that wanted to speak to me first, an appointment and a face to face meeting to see if I was a good fit to apprentice with them or if I would even work well with the image the gallery they worked with expected.  

It was overwhelming, but I felt excited by it.  More excited than I had felt during the resume padding and the multiple visits to the similar, yet slightly different job search sites online where I was ONLY that resume among thousands of other resumes.  

I decided that I would contact the names that wanted nothing more than a call or an appointment first, since those required nothing more than my person and my voice.  The options that required portfolios and prints I could work on while I waited for the face to face appointment times.  I started making a list of all the places and subjects that I wanted to shoot.  Wishing that Bucky was home, because those sharp angles of his face would look amazing in any light.

I guess I got caught up in pineapples and picture taking.  I had Bryn at the park - she was chasing bubbles that were being blown by a machine I found in my closet and I was snapping pictures when I heard the first gasp.  At first I assumed that one of the other little kids had fallen off a swing or took a nose dive into the sandbox, but then more followed and I called Bryn to me and looked up to see adults holding their cell phones up with their hands over their mouths.  

I looked up, checking the sky to be sure that we weren’t about to have a giant purple asshole situation again, but the blue sky was ringed with fluffy white clouds and nothing else.  Smiling down at Bryn I told her that we should gather our stuff and go see if her mommy wanted to have lunch.  She was in a giggly mood, and since my car was parked close by, the top up and the doors locked - just in case - we gathered up our things, alright I gathered the and she ‘helped’, and she was strapped into her seat while I was trying very hard to NOT look at my cell phone.  

The salon was silent when we walked in, and Bryn seemed to pick up on it, running to Connie with a loud, “MOMMY!”

I felt more self conscious than I had since the first time, since no one seemed to be willing to meet my gaze, not even Connie.  By the time I got to her station, my arm weighed down with Bryn’s bag full of stuff, I was terrified.  “What’s going on?”  My lips were numb and I still hadn’t looked at my phone.  

“Let’s go to the breakroom and get something to drink!” Connie’s voice was strained, too perky, too upbeat.  “You two look like you had fun at the park.”  I followed her, my feet like lead, but I had to know, and she wanted us to be alone.

“Connie?”  It wasn’t loud, but we were finally alone, so it didn’t have to be.  Not that the salon was exactly hopping.  

“I’m guessing you haven’t seen the news?”  She was getting a juice box for Bryn out of the fridge, but she didn’t wait to hear me answer.  “The new Captain America?”  My stomach was knotting the longer she took to spit whatever horrible news it was out.  “He murdered someone with the shield in full view of God and everyone -” I waited, there had to be more.  “Including Bucky and Sam.”  Shit.

I sat down in the chair closest to me, but I don’t know how I managed it.  Every part of me felt numb.  Captain America murdered someone - with the shield - in public.  

“Here,” Connie put a soda in front of me.  “Drink.  You look like a sheet.”  I sipped at the can, but couldn’t taste anything.  “Check your phone, it’s ringing.”  Was it?

I pulled it out, almost dropping it, but she took it from me and swiped it so it answered the ringing and then hit the speaker button.  “Hello?”  Was that my voice?  Shit.  “Hello.”  

“Brooke?”  I let out a breath.  Bucky.  “Brooke, are you ok?”  I nearly laughed, was I ok?  

“Are you?”  I shook my head.  “I’m alright, Bucky.”  I could almost feel my lips again.  “ Where are you?”  

He sighed and I knew he wasn’t in Brooklyn.  “Not home.  Not yet.”  He told me that he had a few more things to do before he could come back to New York, but that he wasn’t ‘off the grid’ anymore.  “No more pineapples,” I could hear the smile on his lips.  

“Good, I hate pineapples.”  I exhaled.  “I miss you.”  

“I miss you.”  And I wondered how we could miss one another already, but we did.  So strange.  “I have to go -”

“I really hate those four words,” I murmured.  “Come home soon, would you?”  

“Gold star, right?”  Bucky reminded me, and I smiled.  

“Damn straight, Bucky.”  And then Connie’s mini me reminded me that little pitchers have big ears.  

“Damn trait, Buck!” Bryn yelled and my eyes went wide and Connie slapped her hand over her own mouth.  

“Um, Brooke?”  Bucky sounded confused and I bit my lip as a chuckle hit me hard and fast.  “Do you have an echo?”  

“Yeah, her name is Bryn.”  I managed.  “Say bye, Bryn!”  She did and then I echoed her.  “Bye, Buck.” 

“Bye, Brooke and Bryn.”  He offered, chuckling.  

I looked at Connie when the call ended with wide eyes.  “I’m so sorry -” but her shoulders were shaking with laughter.   

“That was TOTALLY worth it.”  She got out.  “But you owe the swear jar fifty cents.” 

[thebeautifullydamnedone]

Mess Is Mine

It was early. Too early. My head was pounding and all I wanted to do was to lie down and shut my eyes for a few hours. The likelihood of that happening now though was impossible. I could already hear the birds chirping outside; the coffee maker down the hall was whirring noisily doing its only job. I rubbed my temples as I glanced up, my tear soaked cheeks flushed from the crying. He was staring across the room at something, or maybe nothing.

His hair was disheveled and he looked just as upset as you. This had been building up for a while now. He was away all the time, and every time he left and came back he seemed more and more preoccupied, more and more changed by his job. You could understand, his entire job meant seeing horrible things and trying to stop them. Sometimes he was able to succeed, but the times a victim couldn’t be saved were the worst.

Lately, he’d been taking the losses so personally, and nothing could change his mind. He was the single-handed most stubborn person you’d ever come across. You shook your head and glanced away from him right as his beautiful eyes landed on you. You desperately tried to swallow the lump in your throat.

This was it right? This was where it ended…

More tears welled up and spilled over and you angrily wiped them away. I didn’t want to cry anymore. I’d cried all night. Honestly, I couldn’t even remember what had started the fight. Only that it had brought up so much shit it was hard to tell what we were even fighting about anymore.

“What can I do?”

His voice from across the bed jarred you from your memory of screaming in each other’s faces. The first emotion you’d seen from him in a week or so. The first emotion that wasn’t a depressed sigh or prolonged staring. The first real attention he’d given you besides quick pecks on the cheek or an ‘I love you’ before bed as he stared at the pages of a book. “What?”

You shifted slightly on the bed, enough to turn and see him. He was staring right at you, and it caught you completely off guard. He hadn’t been big on making eye contact lately. Right now, with tears still in them his usually hazel eyes looked almost a beautiful brownish green. You swallowed harshly again. He looked so helpless, so utterly confused, but even more he looked scared. And you knew why he was scared, because God you were scared too.

“What can I do…...to fix this?”

The question struck a chord, and not a good one. You gritted your teeth. “What can you do?” You repeated the question back to him and instantly he registered the angry undertone in your voice. You shook your head and looked away. He was by all normal definitions a genius, yet when it came to relationships he was as dumb as any other guy. “You know…. I really thought I was pretty clear about what I needed you to do, what you could do.”

I looked back over at him and watched as his mouth opened and then closed quickly. Good, he was choosing his words carefully. “Spencer,” I licked my lips and racked my brain for how to word it. “I don’t know what I can do anymore. I’ve been trying so hard, but it’s like you’re not.” You looked down at the balled-up fists in your lap and sighed.

“Is it my job? Do you want me to leave the BAU?”

Standing up angrily you began pacing the room. “No, Jesus, Spencer! I want you to be here. I want you to be able to come home and be with me!” He looked up at you and the confusion was ever apparent on his face. He had no idea, truly, what you were talking about. And that somehow made it that much worse.

“You walk around this house like a God damn ghost lately! You come home, but you don’t really, because your mind is still there. I try talking to you, try talking about what’s bothering you but you don’t want to. I don’t want you to leave your job, you love your job. I just want you to be able to come home to this beautiful house we have, home to me, and actually enjoy your life.”

You had stopped pacing somewhere in that entire one-breath rant and just stared at him. He swallowed and glanced away from you. “Listen, Spencer,” You walked over and grabbed his hands tightly. “I love you. I love you so much. But I can’t do this anymore.” You shook your head as his eyes met yours again. “It’s like you don’t want to be here anymore. Like your mind is just somewhere else all the time and no matter how hard I try to get you back you’re just gone. You’re struggling and you constantly refuse my help. And I just don’t know if I can do it anymore.”

The alarm clock on the bedside table started blaring its loud alarm but neither of you made a move to turn it off. You were both locked in this moment, locked in each other, realizing this could be it. You could be over. You’d built this beautiful life together. You had been with each other since two years after he finished high school. You’d met so young this was all either of you had ever known. You shared a house together and half the time you just carpooled because you loved spending time together. Lately, it hadn’t been like that, but before you couldn’t get enough of each other.

Finally, after a few minutes of silence I released his hands and stood up. “I have to get ready for work.” I walked over to the night stand and shut off the alarm before sulking to the bathroom and shutting the door. I quickly shed my nightgown and turned on the hot water. During the shower. I let it all go, the tears that I’d held back as I told Spence I couldn’t keep this up. Everything. And it felt good, but only fleetingly.

When I stepped out of the shower it was like my whole body ached. All I wanted to do was crawl back into bed and sleep the day away. But work wouldn’t allow me to call in so late. Wrapping a towel around my body I walked to the bathroom door and hesitated before opening it. We were both tired, and maybe I’d overreacted last night. I loved Spencer with every single fiber of my being, could I really walk away from him? Shuddering at the thought I opened the bathroom door and walked back into the bedroom “Spence?”

You glanced around but he wasn’t in the bedroom anymore. Sighing I walked down the hallway to the kitchen. “Spencer?” Something my mom had said popped into my head.

Never go to bed angry, but never go to work angry either, it just ruins your whole day for nothing.

When you got to the kitchen nothing had been moved. There were still two coffee mugs next to the coffee maker just waiting. But he wasn’t here. My eyes shifted around the room and came across a piece of paper by my keys that hadn’t been there before. I walked over quickly and yanked it up.

Left for work. I’ll leave, if that’s what you want.

I love you forever,

Spence

My eyes welled up with tears again. My heart was now physically aching. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. How could something so absolutely perfect turn out this way. How could the best thing to ever happen to you end up like this? I held the towel tightly to my body and leaned against the counter.

The sobs racked my entire body. This was really it. This perfect love of ours was really over if things couldn’t change. I don’t know how long I sat there, leaning on the counter for support. But the sound of my cell ringing from the next room pulled me out of it. I walked quickly down the hallway, wiping at my tears once more. I yanked my cell off the charger and realized it was my boss calling me. I cleared my throat a few times and then answered. “Hello?”

“Hey Kate! You okay, you sound off?” I swallowed the growing lump in my throat again and sighed.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just feel a little off today.”

“Oh…well, that makes my news even better then! Listen, we’re a bit over-staffed today, I was wondering if you’d want to just take the day off?”

It was the best thing I could have heard, especially after finding Spencer’s note. “Um, yeah! That actually works out! Thanks Sherri.” She told me to have a good day and hung up. I placed my phone back on the nightstand and sat down on the edge of the bed. I shook my head and rubbed my temples once more.

After a few moments, I stood up and walked to the dresser. I grabbed out a t-shirt of Spencer’s and a pair of sweats and tugged them on. I walked back over to the bed and laid down. The tears came again and I let them as I laid there tightly wrapped in the blankets that smelled like a combination of myself and Spencer.

At some point, I drifted off but I woke up to my cell ringing once more. I groaned and rolled over, groping the night stand for it until my hand found it. I pulled it closer to my face, my eyes aching from all the crying. Garcia. I really wasn’t in the mood to talk to her right now. I ignored the call with a promise to myself I’d call her later. Knowing her she’d gotten it out of Spence and wanted to talk to me too.

Rolling back over I closed my eyes but they flung open wildly when the house phone rang. The house phone was used for one thing and one thing only, for the BAU to get into contact with Spencer, and it was usually only for emergencies. “Shit.”

I flung the covers off of me and ran down the hallway to the kitchen. I half skidded across the floor and yanked the phone off the receiver. “Hello?”

“Kate….” My eyes instantly welled up with tears when she spoke. It was Garcia, except it wasn’t because her usually bubbly demeanor was hesitant and it was obvious she was distressed.

“He’s okay. Tell me that he’s okay.”

She took a deep breath and I held my hand over my mouth. “He’s going to be okay. He was shot.” I cried out, unable to hold it in any longer. It couldn’t end like this. Not like that. “Listen to me, okay? He’s on his way to Saint Ann’s Medical Center. He’s in pretty bad shape, the bullet very narrowly missed his heart. They’re working on him now.”

I hated to do it but I hung up. I couldn’t hear any more. I flung myself back down the hallway. Throwing on a bra and some shoes I grabbed my phone, purse, and keys and was out the door. The drive there was a blur. I was sobbing and speeding but I finally made it there. I barely had the car in park before I was out. I didn’t bother to lock it because absolutely nothing mattered more than getting to him.

Running in I glanced around wildly, reading the signs to get to the emergency room. I found Morgan and Emily pacing back and forth. “Morgan!” I ran over so quickly I could have flown and he grabbed me up and hugged me as I sobbed. “W-What happened?!”

He held on tightly as he explained that they’d been talking an unsub down from a hostage situation when he’d turned his gun on Reid. Morgan tried to talk the gun out of his hand but the unsub had lost his temper and shot Spencer. “The doctors are working really hard to get him back, okay? Just don’t worry too much until we have to, alright?” I nodded and let him release me from the hug. We all sat down and waited.

It was a few hours with very few updates, at one point he was very touch and go and I realized I could honestly lose him. Forever. Suddenly, none of it made sense. The fight. Even the thought of breaking up with the man I loved more than anything in this world seemed so ridiculous. Finally, a doctor came through the doors and glanced around before finding my eyes. He walked over and I quickly stood up. “How is he?”

“He’s stable. We were able to stop the bleeding and get the bullet out. It very narrowly missed his heart...” His eyes turned to the rest of the team. “He’ll be out for a while, this was an extremely close call.” He turned back to me and gave me a small smile. “He was coming out of anesthesia when I left, he said your name. I’m assuming you want to see him?”

I nodded quickly and he glanced back at the rest of the team. “I’ll let the rest of you back when he’s a little stronger.” They all nodded and gave me quick hugs before the doctor pulled me back through the doors and down a series of complex hallways. Finally, we ended up outside of a room with a bunch of beeping, whirring machines. “He’ll be very weak, so try not to push him. He might need to rest soon.”

Nodding I gripped the door handle tightly and pushed opened the door. When I saw him, the tears rushed down my cheeks again. He was so damn pale it was scary. The bandages over his chest were a reminder that I almost lost him today. I walked over slowly and pulled up a chair. I sat down and quickly grabbed his hand so tightly in mine. “Spence…. oh my God…” His eyes were closed and I wasn’t sure he could even hear me.

Staring at his face I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe he’d ended up here. I couldn’t believe I let him walk out of the house thinking we were breaking up. Almost died thinking that I didn’t love him and want him with everything. “You can’t ever do this again, okay? Never. Spencer, I don’t know what I’d do without you. I love you so much baby, I am so sorry for last night and this morning. I didn’t mean any of it. I cannot imagine my life without you.”

His eyelids fluttered a little but his eyes remained closed. “Spencer,” I waited for a second, willing his eyes to open for me. I wasn’t sure if he could hear me but I couldn’t hold it in any longer. “Spence, I’m pregnant….” I squeezed his hand as I said the news I’d been holding in all week. I’d been waiting for the perfect time to tell him but then we just kept fighting and I’d push it off. “S-So, you can’t leave, okay? You can’t ever leave because I can’t do this by myself. I need you.”

I began crying and buried my face in the covers right next to his hand. He had to be okay, because I would be utterly lost without him. I felt his hand squeeze mine before I heard his raspy voice speak to me. “You’re pregnant?” My head lifted so fast when I heard his voice. The crying started right back up as his eyes met mine, and they were filled with tears. I was so overjoyed to see him awake I lost the ability to speak momentarily so I merely nodded. He gave me the absolute biggest smile and released my hand for a moment. “That’s so amazing, come here.”

He opened his arms and I scurried to climb into the bed with him. I was so careful to lay beside him and I squeezed him just a little bit. “I’m so sorry, Spence. I didn’t mean it, okay? I love you so much and I will never ever leave. And I don’t ever want you to leave either.” I looked up at him and he gently wiped the tears from my eyes.

He nodded and smiled. “I know. It’s okay. All is forgiven.” I nodded and grasped his hand tightly in mind. He cleared his throat and nodded behind me. “Well, you’ve shared some news with me so it’s my turn. Will you grab my jacket?” My eyebrows furrowed together as I swung my legs over the bed and stood up. He saw my confusion and smiled. “I promise, it’ll be worth it. Just hand me my jacket, woman.”

Smiling slightly, I turned around and found the plastic bag with his belongings in it. I reached in and grabbed his jacket. I turned around and handed it to him. He smiled and then patted the bed beside him as he struggled to sit up. “Be careful!” I scolded him as I watched him wince in pain. I walked over dutifully and sat down on the edge of the bed. I watched curiously as he reached into his jacket pocket but instantly my eyes widened when he pulled out a beautiful little box. “Spence…”

My hand flew over my mouth as he opened the box and the most beautiful diamond ring sat waiting for me. “Katherine Elizabeth Johnson, will you make me the happiest man in the world and marry me?” As if I hadn’t had enough I began crying again as I nodded so quickly my neck hurt.

“Of course, I will, Spencer!” He reached over and grabbed my left hand and put the diamond on my finger. I admired it for minutes as I hugged him and cried and realized that I was the absolute luckiest girl in the entire world.

I couldn’t possibly ask for anything more.

We were a mess. Me. Him.

But together we were a beautiful mess.

[purplesurveys]

1167

surveys by emptyliketheocean

Brand of cigarettes you smoke? I don’t smoke cigarettes, or at least I never buy my own packs.

Should you be trusted with a person's life? Idk, that’s for them to decide.

How's your life in general? I lost two relatives from Covid this week alone. So, not very dandy. Still in shock. Waiting for it to all finally crash down so I can grieve and mourn properly. Scared of more losses and hoping there aren’t any more to come.

Have you ever put lipstick on anything besides lips? I don’t wear makeup, but when my friends have put some on me in the past there were a couple of times they dabbed lipsticks on my cheeks.

Have you ever picked a fight you knew you would lose? Metaphorically speaking, yeah. I don’t get into physical fights.

What's something you think is crazy about the world? The concept of centibillionaires and the fact that there are multiple ones who exist.

What do you think about religion? I think the only upside to it is how it has helped save lives for some and how it serves as a guide for others to spread good in the world. Like if your religion has given you purpose and strength, that’s great. But ultimately, I’m not a fan and I most definitely don’t think religion is necessary to be a kind person. In fact, I think it works the opposite...most of the homophobes, misogynists, pro-lifers, and sexists I know are from the Christian faith. Cringe.

What about when religion causes violence? Well I definitely have a bone to pick with this lol. The only reason the Philippines is predominantly Catholic today is precisely that when the Spanish arrived, they used violence to forcingly convert Filipinos - who were then living in peace with their own culture, government, and religion system - to Christianity. And now we’re ‘celebrating’ 500 years of Christianity in the country this year, which was always so off to me because why are we celebrating colonization lol????????????? But anyway, yeah, that is another issue I have with religion. I want nothing to do with it.

What color is one of your hats? I have an off-white summer hat but I have literally never used it in public because it’s huge and it’s 100% going to draw attention.

How do you feel? My shoulders are sore and I’m feeling slightly irritated because of them. I’m also starting to get a bit hungry.

Have you ever gotten in trouble for laughing? A few times.

Something that makes you smile: Free food.

What do you think about surveys with lyrics as the title? Surveys with random lyrics usually end up being the ones with interesting questions, so I actually am more likely to check it out.

Do you have any clothes with small holes in them? Maybe one or two.

Do you think the way you live is really okay? I think I am already quite fortunate with what I have considering what others don’t, so it’s definitely been a while since I have complained about anything during this whole Covid situation, living-situation-wise. Even though we’ve lost a few things, like having to sell one of our cars and with my mom being retrenched, we still get by and have a roof over our heads with working water and electricity and a stocked pantry; and I make enough money to hand a portion of it to my parents twice a month and still treat myself with things I want. There is nothing to bitch about.

Do you know anyone other than a cop who has ever owned a cop car? No.

Have you ever felt fire? No, but electricity, yes. I’ve been shocked before but that was also my own fault lol.

Have you ever seen a person light themselves on fire? Jesus no.

Have you ever used crutches when you didn't need them? Yes. I used to horse around with Katreen’s crutches when she injured her legs in 3rd grade, when she wasn’t using them.

If you had 15 beers you would be: Dead.

Are you as bored as I am? No, I’m good.

Why are you taking this survey? I feel like it.

What would you say if a person asked you why your face was so messed up? “How do you want me to react?” Easiest way to shut a person up and passive aggressively tell them to watch what they say.

What would you do if your first love asked you back out? Be very confused and ask why the sudden decision.

What's your home life like? It’s very routine, due to having to stay at home. I work a 9–6 on weekdays, follow that up with dinner, and use a few hours to scroll through social media until it’s time to sleep. Then on weekends I use the free time to recharge by taking surveys and watch videos of whoever and whatever I’m interested in at the moment. Just waiting for all of this to blow over so I can finally do the things I’m meant to be doing.

Do you have a talent that you don't do anything with? I don’t write a lot for myself these days. I do write frequently for work, which is great - press releases, event scripts, all your PR essentials - but I don’t get stimulated enough since everything is written in the same tone. I really should pick up a notebook and pen soon...

Do you know anyone that is a lesbian? Yes. Not that she’s in my life anymore.

What do you think about your mom? I think she tries her best. But I wish she were more emotionally in touch. And that she starts being politically correct.

What do you think about your dad? He’s worked hard and continues to, and I appreciate all his efforts; and I can’t wait to be able to buy him all the things he wants.

Which parent do you respect the most? Who do you think? Hahahaha.

Is there anything someone could lie to you about that you couldn't forgive? I suppose, like cheating.

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Who do you love unconditionally? My two best friends.

Pick an element. Oooookay? Zirconium.

Have you ever wasted a great amount of time and felt horrible about it? It always feels that way on weekends these days because there’s only so much that can be done while stuck at home because of Covid. But I do try to justify it by telling myself I already work too hard during weekdays so it’s ok to bum around at home and do nothing, because using the time to recharge is still productive. 

What is something that's been said about you that isn't true? My mom has said a lot of hurtful things directed towards me that I internalized for a very long time, but I’ve since gained the strength to no longer let those words get to me.

Who do you want with you when you're scared? Anyone who can be calm while I’m not.

Know any bands that not many people have heard of? Many of the punk bands I listen to are virtually unknown on this side of the planet.

Do you have any advice for people in general? Don’t be racist.

What's something you like to do in the summer? Complain about the heat.

What's something you like to do in the winter? We don’t get winter here, but I’ve always thought I would love snow if I ever saw it, and that I would probably make a lot of snow angels and play snowball fights.

What do you think about marijuana? I don’t have a strong opinion on it as it’s still a very taboo topic where I’m from and I’ve also been lacking on research. I do know people who use it for recreational purposes and I’ve never been against that.

Do you wish anyone death? Just politicians.

Have you ever felt like you weren't getting anywhere with a person? Yes, it felt that way for a long time. I just was too afraid of confrontation to do anything about it.

What do you feel for the person you first fell in love with? Resentment and a whole lot of nothing.

Where are you? I’m in my bedroom.

Are you waiting for something? Hmm, not necessarily.

Who is someone you just think has a hole in their brain? People who still think Covid is a hoax.

A candy you like? Gummy anything.

Does any part of your body hurt at the moment? My shoulders and neck, hence the neck pillow I’ve since put on while taking this.

Explain how you got the last bruise you had. I honestly have no clue. I currently have a big black circle on my right thigh that just suddenly showed up, and I can’t recall a time I must’ve hit it somewhere.

Are you tired? A little bit because I got up as soon as I woke up, but I wanted to maximize my free time this Sunday before another work week starts. Last Friday would be our last non-working holiday in a while and we’re not getting another one until August. :(

Explain how you got a scar you have. A distant cousin hurled a glass jar towards me when I was 3, during a family reunion. He initially went for my eye because I guess he wanted to blind me, but he missed and ended up hitting my eyebrow instead. My mom has since banned him from talking to me ever since, and I don’t think I’ve ever even seen him since the incident.

Have you ever owned anything illegal? Illegal copies of movies I’ve torrented, sure.

What do you dream about? The most random scenarios. I’ll get the occasional nightmare, but those only happen when I’m going through a period of depression.

Do you ever daydream? Not anymore these days.

How do you feel about vegetarians? I don’t really think anything of them. There are days I’ll particularly feel for them because there aren’t a lot of restaurants with good vegetarian options where I live, though.

A fruit you like: Avocado, in very limited options.

Have you ever seen a person eat a bug? Only bugs that were already prepared a certain way and meant to be eaten; but I’ve never seen a person that just picked up a bug off the ground and went straight to chewing. I imagine I would freak out and gag.

Something you worry about too much: How much is in my bank account.

How do you feel about smoking? I hate how the smell clings to your clothes and all your things when you’ve been smoking or when you’ve been around people who smoke. I also wince when people pose with their cigarettes just to look badass and cool; but as someone who’s since picked up vaping as a habit, my once-intense hatred for smoking and smokers has since changed lol.

If you had to move out of state, where would you go? I would move to a big city. Somewhere noisier and with a lot of lights and foot traffic and general activity.

What is your favorite vampire-related movie? The Twilight Saga hahahahahaha

Is there a person you keep coming back to? My best friends, I guess?

If you're listening to music...Give me a lyric from the song you're listening to. I’m not listening to anything.