#i never wanted it to be a thing in the first place it was supposed to be a one off

[yunjardi]

SIZE TRAINING WITH JAKE

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pairing: boyfriend!jake x girlfriend!reader

content warnings: smut [mdni], uprotected sex (wrap b4 u tap), size training, use of sex toys, dirty-talking, pet names (good girl, baby, princess, love), praise, fingering, spanking, oral (both receiving), lmk if i missed anything!

wc: 1.9k [short, i'm sorry guys :''( ]

a/n: another little drabble from me 2 u <3 ily my fellow jake sluts

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"i promise it won't hurt me," you pouted at your longtime boyfriend, jake, "we'll never know if we don't try."

you and jake had been together for quite some time now but have yet to have actual sex with one another.

sure, you've done things of sexual nature, but it pales in comparison to actually having 'real' sex. it's not like you were getting tired of getting eaten out and fingered by jake- you simply wanted to experience more of him.

and oh god did jake want to experience more of you.

the reason you two haven't gone as far as penetration was simply because of jake's size.

it seems cocky (no pun intended) for jake to say he's worried that he won't fit, but it's a genuine worry of his.

even you had to admit that his little fear was completely justified.

jake's dick really is huge.

even though you've seen his dick a million times, his size never fails to amaze you. he 100% gets an ego boost whenever he sees your eyes light up in surprise every time you see his dick.

"okay, love, we can try," jake agreed with a reassuring smile, taking you by surprise, "but that doesn't mean that i'm not terrified of hurting you, though." he managed to let out a chuckle despite his nervousness.

you never thought you'd see the day where he would finally succumb to your begging, but luckily, you were already a few steps ahead of him.

"don't worry, jakey, i've come prepared," you couldn't help but smirk, "wait here."

you got up from the bed and walked into your closet, soon walking out with a box containing three sex toys that you'd been meaning to show jake.

sitting back down on the bed, you opened the box to present the toys to him, each one getting progressively bigger than the last. jake was surprised at how dedicated you seemed to this whole process, and it turned him on to say the least.

"if you're so ready for this, you should hurry and take your panties off," jake smirked as he pulled you closer, now toying with the waistband of your panties. you let out a quiet whimper at his actions before obeying his orders, throwing your panties off to the side and crawling onto his lap, your bare cunt now on his sweatpants.

"that's more like it," jake chuckled sexily as he reached his hand down to your pussy, feeling how wet you've become, "look at you, you don't even have to be prepped. such a good girl for me." you nodded as you subconsciously began grinding your hips down onto his hand, craving his touch in the place where you needed it the most.

"aren't you supposed to be fucking the toys, baby? keep being a good girl and let me see how good you are at taking that puny sex toy," jake scolded you whilst pushing the box of sex toys toward you and urging you to pick one up to start using it.

you, of course, obeyed.

jake helped you get comfortable against the headboard before beginning to tease you once again, taking the first sex toy out of your hand and gliding it against your clit. jake couldn't help but get even more turned on at how sensitive you were despite the sex toy not even being inside you yet.

you let jake gently slide the sex toy inside you, your breath hitching slightly when it was fully inside you.

"you're doing so good, princess," jake cooed as he slowly pushed the toy in and out of your sensitive hole. you nodded with glossy eyes, trying to hold back your moans as jake picked up the pace.

suddenly, jake discarded the first toy, setting it off to the side before bringing his hand down to your entrance and swiftly inserting one of his long fingers, causing you to let out a soft moan at the unexpected sensation of his touch.

"jake-" you gasped out as he curved his finger upwards, grabbing onto his other hand for support as he added in another one of his digits. he couldn't help himself from lowering his head to get a taste of your cunt as he fingered you. come on, how could he possibly pass up an opportunity to tease you with both his fingers and his tongue?

your eyes rolled back as jake swirled his tongue on your sensitive clit while also still working his fingers in and out of you.

jake could fully get off by just simply doing this, but he had to remember the main objective at hand.

stopping suddenly, jake reached off to the side to fetch the second of the three sex toys, this one slightly bigger and wider than the previous. you held onto jake's hand as he slowly inched the new toy inside you, this one more of a struggle to take than the last.

"look at that, baby," jake flashed a pretty smirk, "you're getting better at this." he brought his gaze down to your stuffed entrance, the toy stretching you out just a bit more than the last. jake began to move the toy in and out of you gentler than last time, still worried that you may get hurt.

you couldn't help but squirm under his touch, becoming more and more eager to take him.

it hadn't even been 5 minutes with the new sex toy when you started to become desperate.

desperate for more.

desperate for jake's touch.

"babe, i need you," you managed to breathe out through the moans that escaped your lips, "now, please."

jake's ears turned red at your sudden begging, his pants somehow getting even tighter than they were before which he didn't think was possible.

"b-but we haven't even gotten to the last toy yet-"

"i need you to shut up and fuck me already; i can't take it anymore."

to say that jake took your statement and ran with it would be an understatement.

immediately, jake practically threw the sex toy to the side and took it upon himself to spread your legs further apart to get an even better view of your desperate hole. he could tell just by looking that fitting his entire cock in you would be a difficult feat.

"i'm worried about you, princess. i'm not sure if you can take it," jake teased as he slowly let his fingers glide up and down your soaking entrance which caused goosebumps to form all over your body.

"i can," you rebutted, growing impatient, "let me show you."

you scooted closer to jake and began to toy with the waistband of his sweatpants, causing his breath to get caught in his throat due to the suddenness of your actions. slowly, you pulled both his sweats and boxers down to reveal his throbbing cock. you couldn't help but moan at the sight before taking it into your hand and spitting on his tip, feeling the weight of it against your palm.

"fuck," jake breathed out with a deep groan, admiring you as you lowered your head down to his cock before finally connecting your tongue to it. jake tangled his fingers in your hair as you sucked on his sensitive tip, eventually letting more of his cock slide down your throat.

unexpectedly, jake motioned for you to sit back.

"i need to fuck you right know, baby; you have no idea."

you slowly leaned closer to jake before kissing him passionately.

"show me then."

at that, jake had you positioned on your back, readying you to take him.

butterflies erupted in your stomach as you watched jake line his tip up to your entrance before grabbing your hand. you nodded at him as a signal that you were ready.

jake ever so gently let his tip pass through your entrance, not being able to stop himself from letting out a groan at the sensation of finally feeling your tight walls squeeze around his cock. you were surprised at how quickly the soreness turned to pleasure although he was barely halfway inside you, beginning to moan at the feeling alongside him.

"does it feel good, jake?" you asked him shyly.

"so fucking good, princess," he responded before leaving a kiss on your neck.

before you knew it, jake bottomed out, his tip finding a resting place at your sweet spot which caused you to let out a whimper as you squeezed his hand.

his movements were painfully slow at first due to him not wanting to hurt you, but that only caused your desire to burn deeper.

"jake, i need more," you managed to whimper out between his thrusts.

"yeah? turn around then, princess," jake smirked, "fuck, i've been waiting for this." he couldn't help but suck in a breath once you turned around for him, your pretty ass on display for him and only him.

he left a harsh spank on your ass before gently sliding his cock back inside you, earning a moan from you. your eyes rolled back at almost every single on of jake's thrusts, almost rendering you silent at times as your brain and body struggled to process the copious amount of pleasure jake provided.

jake kept a tight grip on your hips as he thrusted deep inside you, feeding off your pleas for him to keep going though he was unsure of how much longer he'd last. your walls held onto every inch of his cock, desperately squeezing him with every movement no matter the velocity,

the feeling of finally having him inside you was euphoric to both yourself and him as you both kept a tight hold on whichever one of each other's body parts either of you could manage to grab a hold of.

it didn't take long for jake to feel a familiar sensation. that familiar sensation. the one he'd only ever been able to feel against his fingers until this very moment.

"can't hold on any longer, hm?" jake panted out as he used his strength to lift your upper body toward his, your back now flush against his toned chest, "do it, then. cum for me, princess." his words almost demanding and stern, or what you'd simply call hot if you weren't so dazed from his cock to the point that he has you thinking in shakespearean.

at that, you finally let the coil that was slowly building itself up in your core let itself loose.

the feeling of your arousal coating his length sent his mind into a frenzy, pushing him closer and closer to the edge. his strokes became sloppier as you ravished in his comforting yet arousing touch.

you didn't care that you could already feel your cunt becoming sore; you wanted more and jake was more than happy to please you to your absolute limit. that being said, you let him pound your pussy until he reached his climax. the two of you moaned in sync as a mix of his seed and your warm arousal wept from between your legs.

jake gently lowered your body back down onto the bed as he sexily brushed his hair back with his veiny hand. his unintentional sex-appeal drove you insane even immediately after you just let him fuck you silly - it almost gave you the confidence to ask for a second round if you were being completely honest, but alas, you were already sore enough and didn't want to push your luck.

"thank god we finally did that," jake looked up to the ceiling before turning over to give you a kiss, "i hope you're ready to do it even more because i'm afraid i can't get enough of you, baby."

"so does that mean..."

"round two?"

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a/n: I AM NOT AFRAID OF MONSTER COCK JAKE TRUTHING ‼️‼️

taglist: @axartia @jjhmk @valiantwastelanddelusion @jayroseyy @ayohahaha @asaheyow @lhsng @bunhoons @red-xherry @duolingofanaccount @leeis @jaeyunology @green-orangeade @imbaeksbae @sunghoonmybeloved @sh1mja4yun @leeheeheeseung @shjsnjkj

©yunjardi on tumblr 2025

[obito-in-disguise]

| Your company |

You want Choso's attention but he's too busy gaming.

So much for this sleepover. You fell asleep for one second, and the next thing you know, Choso was fused to that damn game, yelling obscenities and laughing with his friends.

He was supposed to be paying attention to you.

You’d worn cute pajamas for him, damn it.

You huff, rolling over for the umpteenth time before the pang of restlessness pushes you out of bed. If he won’t come to you, perhaps you should go to him.

The sound of his voice leads you to the gaming room. He’s on the edge of his seat, fingers punishing the controller buttons as the glow of the screen reflects in his eyes.

"Cho?…" you murmur, closing the door softly behind you.

His head immediately snaps over in your direction. He pauses the game, slipping his headset partially off his head before holding his arm out for you.

"Hey sleepyhead, you're finally awake now?"

You walk into his outstretched arm, carding your fingers through his hair as he grabs your hips, smiling up at you.

"Be for real, I fell asleep for like 10 seconds"

He chuckles sheepishly, brushing his thumbs over the skin of your hips gently. "Sorry, I thought you were out for the night...want me to turn off the game?"

His mouth is saying one thing but his eyes are basically pleading with you to say no. You fight the urge to roll your eyes at him, shaking your head.

"I'm bored, I just wanna hang out"

He grins, sliding a hand underneath your thighs while the other grips your waist as he scoops you up and situates you in his lap.

"Then hang out we shall. Comfortable?" He murmurs, watching you wiggle to get comfortable in his lap, smiling when you nod.

He removes the headset from his head, placing it on yours. "You ever played COD before?"

"No..." You murmur taking the controller he was handing you.

"I'll teach you then" he chuckles, watching you fumble with the controller.

He gently places one hand over yours, using the other to tug you into him more so he can rest his chin on your shoulder.

"let's try practice mode first, then you can play with the big dogs"

"With your friends?" You say, your eyes wide. He nods, laughing a little.

"No way cho, they're always mean to girls!"

He laughs again, his body shaking with the movement. "Don't be scared baby, no one will be mean to you while I'm here, I promise" he brushes his lips over your shoulder, rubbing your arms to reassure you.

Over the next 30 minutes, Choso teaches you the basics (I don't know shit about COD ya'll I'm sorry) till he feels confident enough in your crash course skills.

"You ready?" He asks as the game loads, placing a kiss of reassurance on your cheek.

"What if I lose?" He can't help but laugh at how petrified you look.

"It's ok, I'll carry us to victory if necessary"

Your eyes widen as the game connects "wait cho, I change my m-"

"Yo, Choso! Took you long enough -wait, who was that?"

Choso grins, squeezing you waist softly. "My girl. She's playing with us tonight."

"Hi Yuji" you giggle at his enthusiasm. As soon as you reply Yuji, the party chat floods with choruses of 'hi y/n!'s. Maybe his friends weren't so scary after all, you laugh trying your best to respond to all of them.

"Oh hi y/n!" You hear Yuji's voice through the speaker. He was Choso's younger brother after all, you'd hung out a couple of times.

"Damn Choso, you got a girl? we thought you were married to your controller, bro!"

Laughter erupts, and you feel your face heat up. Choso laughs along. "Ha ha. but she's about to smoke y’all. Be nice, or you're getting booted from the party."

"Wait, wait...she’s never played before, right?"

You're about to defend yourself when choso cuts in.

"Doesn't matter," he says confidently. "I taught her"

The game starts, and you're immediately overwhelmed by the chaos on the screen. People are yelling callouts, explosions rock the battlefield, and your character is spinning in circles.

"Baby" Choso says gently. "You're… staring at the sky."

"I knew it, I suck" you groan, trying to regain control.

"Don't sweat it" one of his friends says. "We've all been there. Hey, watch out for that-"

Too late. Your character gets shot, and you hear the death notification.

"I quit cho" you mutter with dramatic despair, collapsing back into him.

He chuckles, taking the controller from your hands and effortlessly covering for you.

"Good job y/n!" "Yeah you did great!"

You know they were lying out of their asses but you appreciated their encouragement. You thank them and settle on watching Choso play instead.

He shouts in victory, nearly tossing you off his lap as he and his friends cheer when they win the level.

He looks down, smiling softly when he sees you blinking up at him sleepily.

"You good, baby?"

"Yeah," you yawn. "You're pretty decent at this."

He chuckles, eyes gleaming. "Pretty decent? I carried the whole game!"

"Sure you did, pro gamer," you tease, leaning into him.

He knows he's kept you up too late so he bids his teammates goodnight and turns off the game. "Come on, sleepyhead."

He lifts you with practiced ease, holding your thighs securely as he heads toward the bedroom.

"Good job today, you played so well"

"Stop lying" you scoff, earning you a chuckle from him.

His laughter intensifies when he reaches the bed and tries to put you down, watching as you clung to him the whole way down till he eventually lays down himself.

You snuggle up to him, invading his personal space as best as you can. He doesn’t mind one bit, propping a hand up behind his head, using the other to hold you close.

"I'm sorry i ditched you for my game, but this wasn't a bad sleepover after all"

He frowns when he's met with silence. He looks down to find you already asleep, the speed with which you feel asleep never ceased to amaze him.

He was sure if he woke you up right now, you'd deny you were sleeping and insist 'you were resting your eyes' but he was content with having you in his arms either way. He pulls you closer, placing a kiss on your forehead.

"Goodnight baby"

This might be my favourite thing I've written this month. I live for soft Choso.

Feel free to check out more of my jjk fics and other stories!

tiny taglist: @catlover19282

[meadowfics]

movie setting

thanos x f!exactress!reader

you run into your ex boyfriend during the squid games

warnings: death (not thanos, its his bestie instead sorry), some changes in the original plot, angst, reader is a blacklisted actress, one use of "bro" towards reader, even though reader is intended to be female.

you were once one of the most promising actresses in korea, starring in a hit drama that still lingers in people's hearts.

your career was supposed to skyrocket, but a scandal ruined everything.

the scandal wasn’t even your fault. the media twisted the story, painting you as the villain.

companies cut ties, contracts were ripped apart, and soon, you found yourself blacklisted from the industry.

millions of won in debt piled up before you could recover.

with no way to earn money, since you did not need to go to college because of your acting career..your world crumbled around you.

to make things worse, you and your longtime boyfriend, thanos, broke up right before everything went to hell.

you loved him.

maybe you still do.

however, you couldn’t drag him down with you, not when his rap career was still holding on by a thread.

he wanted to fight for you, but you wouldn’t let him.

“i’m not going to be the reason you sink too.”

after that, you disappeared from his life.

thano's drug addiction got worse when you left, but that is something that you did not know about until later.

just three months after suffering, you sat at the subway station after missing the last train of the night.

someone finds you..

the salesman.

he offers you the game. an escape. a chance at redemption.

you hesitate, but when you see the money, you know you don’t have a choice.

that’s how you end up on the colorful, dystopian stairs, walking toward your first game just five days later...

you don’t see thanos first. he sees you.

his breath catches when he spots you a few steps below, dressed in the same green tracksuit, looking just as lost and desperate as the rest.

he almost doesn’t believe it.

his ex, the woman he once held at night, the woman he let go of but never truly moved on from, is here.

“no fucking way,” he mutters under his breath, eyes burning into your back.

you feel it...

the weight of someone staring

when you finally turn, your stomach drops.

thanos.

your ex-boyfriend, the man you broke your own heart over, is right there running up the stairs towards you.

for a second, you do not move, holding up the line.

when he comes closer, you turn away, gripping the railing tightly as you climb the stairs faster.

he’s not stupid. he knows you’re avoiding him.

outside on the field..people notice you.

“wait… is that—?”

“holy shit, it’s her! from (drama series)!”

players start murmuring, pointing, whispering excitedly.

some of them grew up watching you on tv, still nostalgic over your most famous role.

“i can’t believe it! i had the biggest crush on her when i was younger!”

you try to ignore the attention, but it’s hard when people are outright gawking at you.

some are obsessed, borderline unsettling.

“you’re even prettier in person…”

you feel their stares, their fascination.

it makes your skin crawl.

thanos notices too.

his jaw clenches as people circle around you like vultures, bombarding you with questions.

usually, this is outside of his personality quirks.

however, he does not like people messing with his girl.

“so, is the scandal real?”

“did you really do it?”

you keep your head down.

you don’t owe them an answer.

thanos watches, expression unreadable as he stands next to namgyu.

he doesn’t step in. not yet.

when the first gunshot goes off, everything changes.

you’re frozen in place, watching blood splatter as bodies drop like flies.

people scream, run, beg for help, but it’s useless.

panic surges inside you, but you force yourself to keep it together.

“green light.”

you move.

you don’t think, don’t breathe,

just follow the rules and survive.

somewhere behind you, thanos does the same.

he sees you up ahead, your body tense, hands trembling at your sides.

he wants to call your name. tell you to focus.

he doesn’t.

he keeps jumping around like a joke..

its the drugs.

he kind of has a feeling that you will be fine.

thanos watches you as he jumps around in joy, pushing people down as if their lives wouldn't be taken too.

“red light.”

after surviving the massacre, you’re still shaken.

everyone is.

you sit in a corner of the room, trying to calm your breathing, when a shadow falls over you.

you don’t need to look up to know who it is.

“señorita,” thanos says, voice lower than you remember.

“you’re really here.”

you keep your eyes on the ground.

“leave me alone.”

he scoffs.

“yeah? and how’s that been working out for you?”

you don’t answer.

“you should’ve told me,”

he mutters after a beat.

“it’s not like that,” you whisper.

he tilts his head.

“really? really bro? ‘cause it sure seems like you wanna be near me again.”

he’s smug. a little too smug.

his ego inflates when you don’t deny it.

you glare at him.

“i’d rather be near you than anyone else in this fucking place, su-bong.”

thano's smirk fades slightly.

nam gyu watches the whole thing unfold.

he sees the way you and thanos look at each other..

the tension, the unfinished business.

it makes him sick.

“you two have history,” nam gyu states one night, arms crossed.

you shrug.

“so?”

“so,” he huffs,

“it’s fucking annoying.”

you raise a brow.

“why do you care?”

he doesn’t answer.

thanos, overhearing, just smirks.

“someone jealous?”

nam gyu scowls.

“shut up.”

despite your best efforts, you start gravitating toward your ex again.

you tell yourself it’s survival.

safety.

being where you are most familiar with..

deep down, you know it’s more than that.

every time you look at him, you remember what it felt like to love him.

you also remember why you left.

he notices the way you linger near him, even if you don’t say much.

“you’re not good at pretending for an actress señorita,” he says one night.

you glance at him.

“pretending what?”

“that you don’t want me back.”

your throat tightens.

you shake your head.

“it’s not like that.”

“sure,” he mutters. but he doesn’t look convinced.

the games are brutal. relentless.

you don’t know if you’ll make it out alive.

one thing is clear:

no matter how much you try to fight it, thanos is a part of you.

and in a place like this, maybe he’s the only thing keeping you sane.

when all of the men went to the bathroom, the dorms were eerily quiet. until the sound of chaos started coming from outside the doors. sounds of metal banding, fists colliding with flesh, grunts of pain, bodies slamming against the walls.

it was impossible to ignore. every player still in the dorm room heard it, heads turning toward the source of the violence, but no one dared to move.

you sat on your bed, your hands clenched into fists against your lap. your whole body was tense, your mind racing.

thanos was in there. so was nam-gyu. you didn’t know what the fights were about, but you knew it wasn’t good.

honestly, you would not have been surprised if your out-of-pocket ex started it all with his bestfriend.

se-mi sat beside you, watching the entrance anxiously. the minutes stretched on like hours, and with every second that passed, the pit in your stomach grew deeper.

one by one, men began filtering back into the dorms, beaten and bloodied. some limped, some had swollen faces, and some had fresh bruises forming under their eyes.

you scanned every face, searching for him.

no thanos.

you exhaled sharply, fingers tightening around the fabric of your pants. se-mi shifted beside you, glancing over with hesitation before asking,

"do you still love thanos?"

the question caught you off guard. your head snapped toward her, eyes wide in panic.

"do i love thanos?" you repeated, almost scoffing. then, without thinking, you blurted out, "no shit, se-mi!"

se-mi flinched at your sharp tone, and the realization hit you instantly. your expression softened as guilt settled in your chest.

"i'm sorry," you muttered, shaking your head.

"that was mean, you're one of my friends here and I shouldn't have spoken to you that way. I'm just stressed."

se-mi shrugged, offering a small, dismissive smile.

"it's fine." she glanced toward the entrance again before sighing.

"i wouldn’t care if something happened to nam-gyu though."

you huffed a quiet, amused breath.

despite the tension, you silently agreed.

then, finally, movement at the entrance.

your breath caught when you saw him...thanos, limping back into the dorms, looking bruised but very much alive.

"su-bong," you breathed, already on your feet before you could process it.

you didn’t care who was watching. didn’t care about the whispers, the eyes on you.

you ran straight to him, wrapping your arms tightly around his body, holding onto him like he might disappear if you let go.

the rapper's arms came around you just as fast, his grip firm, as if reassuring himself that you were real.

somewhere in the distance, you heard someone murmur, "that actress and the rapper are dating?" but it didn’t matter.

you buried your face against his shoulder, inhaling his scent, letting yourself feel the relief washing over you.

he is okay.

thanos pulled back slightly, just enough to press a lingering, warm kiss to your forehead.

you closed your eyes, savoring it.

"see," he mumbled against your forehead, his voice teasing but laced with something deeper, something more tender.

"i know you wanted me back, baby."

you giggled, shaking your head.

"shut up and go sit down."

you slipped an arm under his to help him walk back to the beds, your focus entirely on him...so much so that you didn’t process the absence of a certain someone.

not until the speakers crackled to life, and the robotic voice echoed through the dorms:

"player 124, eliminated."

silence fell over the room.

your body stiffened.

nam-gyu never came back with thanos.

masterlist

[impish-baby]

Did you get enough love, my little dove? - platonic yandere! Captor x reader - 🤍🩹 (cw: threats, injured reader)

"The fuck do you mean!?" Wren can tell Elijah is ready to pull his hair out if this deal doesn't go through, he's been pacing since the call started. "We already showed you the pictures of them all busted up, we're serious about killing the little shit!"

He feels bad. Normally he can will it away, convince himself that the rich families they exploit deserve it, but from the start you've said over and over and over again that your father wouldn't give them anything, that he didn't care. It seems like you weren't lying.

"Bastard-" the phone smashes against the wall, sending shards of glass and plastic scattering across the floor. "Dammit! What the hell are we supposed to do now?"

Wren doesn't get a chance to say anything before a gun is aimed at their latest victim's head.

They look so scared. He can feel his heart constricting in his chest when they start to sob again, God they're young.

"Elijah, wait a minute-" He doesn't know why, but he can't just let this kid die. "We can figure out a new plan, right? Don't do something without thinking it through."

"Like what?" Elijah scoffs, he's so pissed his hands are shaking, he can't even keep the gun straight. "You know what we should do? Send their corpse wrapped in a pretty bow to that asshole."

"The boss should have a say," Wren smiles nervously, desperation seizing his heart. "Yeah? Give it until he's back before we do decide." It's his best bet and it works, the other man storms out of the basement with a slam of the door.

"God.." He sighs, slumping against the wall before glancing over at them. They're still crying, he's going to have to get them to drink something. Wren can do that, a glass of water and some kind of snack.

"I- I'll be right back.." They don't acknowledge his departure, not that he expects them to.

Elijah must have gone off to smoke, the older man isn't around when he comes up the stairs. A good thing, Wren really doesn't really want to explain what he's doing.

The kid doesn't look up when he returns, nor when he kneels down in front of them. "Hey, sweetheart.." he feels so awkward, "I'm gonna untie you for a bit, ok? Don't try to get up though."

Their wrists have been rubbed completely raw, probably rope burn. He's seen much, much worse but he still winces. "Ow, kiddo..I'll get you patched in just a minute, you need to get something in your system first."

He delicately places his hands over theirs when they try to hold the cup, partly because he isn't just going to give them a potential weapon and partly because their hands shake so bad he's scared they'll drop it. "There you go, try for a few drinks, you can do it.." Wren has never thought about being a father, but he has the inexplicable urge to be gentle with them. "Good job, baby. Can you try to eat a little for me?"

The answer is no apparently. They get one tiny nibble of an apple slice before they look like they're about to puke, all the fear and adrenaline is probably making their stomach upset. A few sips of water is good enough for now, he'll try them again with some crackers later.

"Alright, alright, I'm going to bandage your wrists up now. I'll be careful, I promise." They've been shaking the entire time, but it hurts a little when they tremble more as he holds their arm delicately. "I know, I'm scary, huh? It'll be quick, just so you don't get a yucky infection or something." Their tearstained face is pitiful, Wren wants to wipe the dried lines of tears away and tell them it'll be ok. He doesn't want to be a liar, though.

(a/n: sorry for lack of posts!!! This week has been kicking my ass qwq I'll be back to posting regularly soon!!)

[fisherrprince]

friends, countrymen. if you feel the urge to go to the chiropractor because your body aches, you do not want a chiropractor, you want a massage.

“but fish” you may say. “that sounds. scary” it’s not. if you really have an aversion to people touching you, at all, ever, maybe this isn’t for you. but a chiropractor isn’t for you either, because they also touch you a lot. In the case that you think you’d be chill with it for an hour, im going to describe in detail more or less what to expect at a massage appointment.

-

why not a chiropractor?

we’re not going to get into it, but a chiropractor tries to put your bones back in alignment. This is functionally useless if your tight muscles are pulling on your bones in the first place! They’ll just go back to being achy and out of alignment within the week. You need to be addressing the root of the problem. a massage may not fix it (sorry. it takes work on your part), but it may help your muscles relax so you can train them to chill out and sit in their correct spots. plus it feels nice. if you feel like you need something more intense, go for a deep pressure therapy massage. it digs into your sore muscles without the danger of a chiropractor.

what does the room look like?

in most cases, when a massage parlor has an official building, the massage room is a small dim-ish room with one massage table, maybe a chair, and some cubbies or cabinets either for the masseuse's tools or for your clothes. there may be decorations, candles, fake candles, little speakers, a mirror, or pillows. the massage table looks like a little twin mattress with a donut pillow sticking out the top and blankets covering the mattress. The table is also usually heated, and you can adjust the heat by asking for it.

what stuff is also there?

smells there are smells in there, usually woody, floral, or natural scents like cedar, eucalyptus, lavender, chamomile, or peppermint. sometimes you get to choose your smells. if there's a smell you don't like (eg lavender, which makes me sneeze), politely ask not to use that one. very few massage parlors have no smells at all, but I've found that most places aren't nearly as overwhelming as, say, a bath and body works, which sucks to be in.

music or nature sounds. think stereotypical soft spa music. I've never encountered a situation where the music bothered me, but you can also request to change it.

lotions and/or oils they go on your body, because rubbing your hands against your skin for a long time without a buffer irritates your skin! they are where most of the smells comes from, if there's not a diffuser in the room. again, if a smell is bad, politely request to not use that smell. the oils may also get in your hair or on your underclothes, if you keep them on.

warm things sometimes the masseuse will use warm things, like warm towels or warm rocks, on you. they're usually nice in the same way a hot tub is nice - a little hot at first, and then warm. if they use a warm towel, it's probably going on your feet or back or neck. warm rocks will usually go on your back. I've never encountered warm rocks but they're in the promo pictures so, i suppose you'd need to do something other than a deep pressure therapy massage to get warm rocks.

some talking at the beginning, the masseuse may instruct you to take some deep breaths and relax, like the beginning of a meditation. she will usually not keep talking the entire time unless you're talkative. I often fall asleep.

what am I expected to do?

you'll enter the room, the masseuse will ask you what you want her to focus on, and she'll leave for a few minutes to let you undress. You can undress to your comfort level, but I usually at least decide to go topless, because it helps them reach my back better and my upper back hurts. once you're as comfortable as you can be, slide in under the blankets (both blankets if there's two) on the table and leave only your head poking out. if she doesn't tell you to start on your back or stomach, pick one, doesn't often matter.

you are fully expected to let her know at the beginning if there are areas you don't want her touching, and you're expected to let her know if she's going too hard or too gentle on your muscles. her goal is your comfort and relief!

then what happens?

chillax for a while. the masseuse will move around the table, addressing your muscles bit by bit. usually, they'll start with a scalp massage, and then move down. aside from massaging you, she will often move your limbs around, tuck the blanket around you, or put things like rolled towels or pillows under you at times. you are just supposed to lay there, relax, and let her do so.

good massage feels like anywhere from a nice backrub to that good sore you feel poking a bruise or moving after working out real hard. it should not actively hurt -- let him know it hurts if it does.

what do I do after?

when she leaves the room to let you redress, do that, and then go meet her in the lobby to pay her (if you haven't already) or for a brief touch base. if this is like, a fancy resort massage, they'll have a whole dressing room you're supposed to go back to, so you won't see your masseuse again. he's probably washing up.

drink water! often they'll give you some water afterwards. It's because loosening your tight muscles opens them up to water your body wants to give them anyways, so you might get a little dehydrated.

eat a snack with vitamins in it, like nuts or fruit. if you had a massage that really beat you up (I asked for this a few times while recovering from an injury), take an advil too. Normally, you won't need pain reliever even a little bit.

if it was nice, leave a little tip.

miscellaneous tips

if this is your first time, go for the shortest option so you can see if you like it or not. often, they'll have a first time client discount.

don't be afraid to fall asleep or snore or anything. they don't care.

they also shouldn't care about your body type. To be polite, take a shower at least the night before going in, but I guarantee they couldn't care less about what you look like, only that your muscles are stiff.

don't be too annoyed if you asked for neck and shoulders and the masseuse is hanging out at your feet. remember to specify exactly what you want at the beginning, but your muscles are all connected, and your legs are probably tight too.

try to find an independent company. massage envy might be good for a first attempt if you're worried about them pushing too hard, but they aren't as good or personalized as some guy who's been doing this for 40 years.

when you lay on your stomach, stick your face in the donut pillow in a way that lets your face stick out the hole, but try not to line the middle of your neck up with the edge of the bed. it's a little uncomfy.

you are fully within your rights to wear a mask during your massage.

please tell them your allergies! especially if it's to coconut oil!

[secriden]

It was so sad to see Style crying like that, but more than that I was initially so shocked? Style has been a ray of sunshine and see him completely break down down like that-my heart stopped for a few seconds! This is the third time we see Style cry (if we didn't count the near-crying throughout this episode cause my gosh he was putting on a brave face in front of Fadel) and I genuinely did not expect to see him cry so much. My heart just broke :(

I think something that really got to me about the context of Style's breakdown is knowing that Style has extensive experience with what it means to have to be "strong" for the sake of someone else. We know his dad broke down / potentially was emotionally and maybe even mentally absent after his mom died ("he lost his bearings for a bit" is vague, but it gives us an idea that it was both fairly severe and also prolonged enough to be concerning), we know that Style had to cope with that when he was "only a kid" and so much of this learned coping can be seen in this episode.

Even while the plan to turn Lily in is in motion, it's Style that ensures the practicalities of Fadel and Bison having fake passports and an idea of how to get out of the country. And it makes so much fucking sense for them not to trust the Captain, who has literally been nothing but shady and unreliable -- like we literally meet him going back on his word by blackmailing Kant with a record he was already supposed to have expunged.

As much as I appreciate Kant having his little revenge blackmail plotline (for the poetry of it all - also, Kant's expression in this scene is <3), it was purely happenstance that he stumbled on it in the first place. Kant didn't even realise that the Captain would be at Babe's school; his surprise when he sees him is a clear indication of that. So Kant's plan, as far as we know, really was to trust in the Captain's reliability (the disbelief, it's SO very suspended).

So I'm really grateful, not only for the good sense Style had to take these precautions, but also how it shows that Style's carefree and seemingly childish demeanour does not preclude him from being serious when something matters to him: Style is thinking, planning, and actively taking steps to ensure that Fadel and Bison somehow maintain their freedom.

And all of this is motivated by something so very simple: Style's love for Fadel is so complete, so fundamental to what he wants for his future, that Style has no reservations with uprooting his entire life, potentially leaving his dad and everything he's ever known, for years, as long as he gets to be with Fadel. The only thing Style is truly afraid of is not having this future. He can stomach anything else, but not an outcome that would deny him being by Fadel's side.

So when it all comes crashing down, when the brothers decide they're going to take the deal and Style is forced to accept Fadel's choice, Style is genuinely upset for himself. Fadel is resigned to this; if anything, as he says himself, 5 years is nothing compared to the life sentence or death he was expecting. But Fadel being on the run would have allowed Style to be with Fadel, while jail means a prolonged separation, and the whole point of all of Style's efforts at the start of the episode was to avoid precisely this outcome.

But Style's love is also inherently selfless. I've been saying this over and over again, and it was so clear to me in episode 7 and 8 that Style will set aside his own feelings, will deny his own immediate wants, if he knows it will benefit the one he loves. The day was never about what Style wanted or even Style's own feelings about missing Fadel. This last day was a gift to Fadel, a chance to make memories which may be all Fadel has to carry him through the next 5 years.

So Style takes one last moment for himself, one moment to allow the agony he feels to bleed through when Fadel cannot see it...

...before he commits himself to being nothing but cheerful and comforting and understanding and supportive to Fadel for the rest of the day. I know it was a small moment, but it broke me the way Style very clearly places his hand under Fadel's. The way he gives Fadel something to hold onto, to anchor himself to, as Fadel tries to find the words to promise Style's dad a future he knows he cannot guarantee. Style's entire fucking thing this episode is a harrowing lesson on putting on a front and being strong for someone else.

Because Fadel wants this so badly. He wants his last day with Style to be a happy one. He wants to take the time to show his affection and care and cling onto the pretence at normalcy, to spend the day being the kind of sweet boyfriend Fadel never really got the chance to be with Style because the last time he did this was when he was lying to Style and he thought Style didn't love him. And Style gives Fadel the relief of being strong enough to bear what Fadel wants; even in the face of Fadel's grave and a rather morbid conversation that fringes on suicidal ideation, Style finds a way to make Fadel smile.

So we get a do-over, a highlight reel of some of their most intense moments of either connection or fracturing, only this time, Fadel gets to be honest about what he feels for Style. He gets to accept Style's love without having to pretend that he doesn't want or need it. He gets to let Style know just how much Style means to him, why Fadel is so grateful that Style came into his life. And Style, selfless and true to his promise gives Fadel everything he needs to get through the day. Gives Fadel exactly what he asked for even if it carved out his own heart in the process.

And oh god, I'm so grateful for this acknowledgement that Fadel knows what is going on. He knows that Style is sad, he knows that Style feels things keenly, that the jokes and the flippant words are a mere coverup. But he also understands that this is how Style both deals with his grief and also that it's being done out of love, and so Fadel allows himself to be grateful and to love Style all the more for it.

And even when Fadel himself breaks, when the tears come at the end of the night, when Fadel has been forced to take Style's promise to remain true to him despite Fadel wanting better for him, Style gives Fadel the dignity of pretending all he's wiping away are the crumbs on his face and not the proof of Fadel's inability to be strong for himself.

Which is why I knew this was coming. I knew that Style could only go so long, could only be so strong, before he would crumble. Because this was the one thing Style didn't want to happen. This was the one fucking thing he asked Fadel for -- that they would get to be together, no matter what the cost was. And oh, he was so brave when he realised it wasn't going to happen, he was so strong even as he has to watch Fadel walk into handcuffs, right until the car disappeared into the darkness; and when Fadel can no longer see him, that's when Style shatters.

Because five years is still too fucking long when your heart's just been taken from you.

[beneathsilverstars]

I’m curious if you have any ideas about when/if bonnie finds out the complete truth about what happened to siffrin…

I know the Adult perspective is “bonnie is a kid let’s keep this very upsetting thing secret until they’re in a more stable place” but as an angst writer this feels like the biggest chekhov’s gun ready to go off lmao

I feel like it’d probably come out sometime after siffrin and loop reveal they’re the same person… my writer brain is saying Loop throws it at Siffrin during an argument not realizing Bonnie is present (or saying it too impulsively to check themself)

Siffrin: Oh, that’s rich coming from the person who tried to kill me

Loop: It’s not like you’ve got room to talk when you tried to kill yourself first!

(also speaking of which the parallel in this AU of trying to kill Siffrin being what leads to both Siffrin AND Loop staying with the party is very funny to me. poetic of course but also. fella where if you try to kill them you get a happy ending /j)

Okay, so. In canon, Bonnie is already upset with Siffrin for getting his eye hurt protecting them. They feel guilty because it was for their sake; worried about how Siffrin will heal and cope; betrayed because Siffrin is supposed to be cool and strong, but turns out he’s not strong enough to prevent tragedy; scared because what if something even worse happens next time. So they take it all out as anger at Siffrin. How dare he act like this thing that upsets Bonnie so much isn’t a big deal? How dare he not be concerned about his own health and safety? He shouldn’t care about Bonnie, that’s what got him hurt. And Bonnie shouldn’t care about him, that’s what’s hurting them.

Then, in this AU, the half-truth that Bonnie is told can actually sort of fold into that same narrative! So it’s not a new upset so much as it is more of the same. The first hour or two of waiting was horrible of course, but since Bonnie didn’t see or know how bad it really was, once they hear that Siffrin is all healed up they can assume it wasn’t a big deal and they were all worried for nothing. So they’re relieved, and mad at him for scaring them. Then they get the story, and ughg of course Siffrin wasn’t being careful, he never is!! Siffrin you crab you have to care about yourself too!!

While everyone else is feeling guilty about not noticing or saying something sooner, I think to Bonnie this would be a much clearer case of being Siffrin’s fault (vs the eye thing that they feel personally guilty about), which ironically makes them less upset at him. Less complicated situation, less bad feelings, less need to take it out on someone.

And they’ve been given clear instructions on how to help, in a way that’s very straightforward and positive? With the eye, Siffrin would’ve been trying so hard to avoid help in order to prove themself still strong and useful. Any help directly related to the loss of vision just reminds everyone involved that hey, Siffrin is disabled now, which Siffrin and Bonnie both hate to think about. But with this AU's incident there’s not the same kind of issue! Reminding Siffrin that their friends care about them and want to stay with them is pleasant for everyone! Especially from Bonnie — Siffrin feels guilty for "misleading" everyone else, but Bonnie doesn't know the full story and they're a kid, of course they're being genuine.

And with the eye, everyone else would’ve agreed that Siffrin did the right thing by protecting Bonnie. Oh, if only we'd avoided the situation altogether, etc, but once the situation was there? Everyone else thinks it was tragic, but it was worth it, of course Bonnie's life is the most important. Which feels awful for Bonnie, like they’re the only who truly wishes it hadn't happened. But with this AU, everyone agrees that Siffrin shouldn’t have done that and everyone is addressing Siffrin’s disregard for his own safety. Vindication!! Of course the adults' reactions are more complicated then Bonnie's "Stop being stupid, stupid," but close enough in this way, especially since they don't discuss the more complicated bits around Bonnie.

So, even though the crisis itself was scary, and overall it’s another stressor, and the other adults are very worried which is worrying…. This incident is actually easier for Bonnie to process, in a way that helps settle their feelings about the eye, too!

But, that’s just with the half truth. Despite the careful attempt to tell Bonnie nearly everything, that last bit that was omitted would change the situation entirely.

To know that Siffrin would've died if Odile had arrived three seconds later? And to know that Siffrin did it on purpose? That's a level of betrayal that I don't know if they could come back from. That's one of Bonnie's favorite people that Siffrin was trying to kill!! For no reason!!! Worse, for a reason that could've been fixed in ten seconds of conversation! I think Bonnie knows a bit about mental health because there's no way Nille isn't dealing with some shit, and I think maybe they could understand a level of passive suicidal ideation as being a feeling caused by mental illness and circumstance rather than choice, but a suicide attempt is an action. It's Siffrin making a choice to take themself out of Bonnie's life in the most violent and upsetting way possible, and I don't know if they could forgive them for that, not for a long while at least.

So I was going to say I just couldn't let them find out the full truth. It's too much on top of too much.

Except... that's not actually the full truth, is it?

Siffrin feels guilty enough about letting everyone else "mistakenly" believe that he's suicidal. This whole journey, based on a lie, turned sour in his stomach but stars if he won't savor every drop anyway. It's better than the truth, right? Better than letting them know how many times he actually died, how many times he failed them? Definitely better than revealing the deception and being abandoned.

Better... until it isn't. Until Bonnie overhears a conversation between Mirabelle, Isabeau, and Odile — because Siffrin has learned the hard way that you can't be sure Bonnie isn't listening unless you're SURE, but no one else did because that snack break didn't happen like that in the last loop. And y'know what, let's throw Nille in too. Because this would definitely be at least a couple months post-Dormont. Maybe the conversation is even the others explaining the full story to Nille for the first time. Maybe Bonnie caught an "Okay, okay, we'll explain, but later," and resolved to be there for the later.

So Bonnie overhears, and they stay silent as they keep listening, hoping to hear an alternate theory, a haha just kidding, anything that would mean this might not be true. Until they finally can't take it anymore and they back away from the doorway, quiet and slow, until they're far enough that they can go faster, let their tears turn into sobs, let their sobs turn into rage, at Siffrin for betraying them like this, at everyone else for keeping it a secret. Siffrin is away from camp a bit, fishing or something, so Bonnie runs to find him and— and something— scream at him, hit him, say they'll never be friends again, do something with all this horror and fear, make Siffrin hurt instead since he's willing to hurt Bonnie so much, since he wants to be hurt so bad—

Once Bonnie has found them, it takes Siffrin a moment to figure out what's going on. Bonnie shouting through their sobs and weak, flailing punches, "I hate you," and "You did it on purpose, we were so worried but it was on purpose," and "You said you didn't want us to leave but you were going to leave, without even saying goodbye, before we even beat the king, you wanted to leave bad enough to DIE, you were going to LEAVE ME!!!"

And Siffrin deserves it, they know. They did let everyone worry on purpose. They trapped Bonnie in a time loop and let them die horribly in it, they should hate Siffrin. But Siffrin cannot let Bonnie believe that they would leave them like that. Nothing else matters — not how badly they don't want to talk about the loops, not how much everyone will hate them — anything else would be better than this. Siffrin has done so many things wrong, but they were all for love of their family, greedy, selfish, suffocating love, so if Bonnie's going to hate them either way, so be it, but Siffrin cannot let them think they don't love them.

So Siffrin tells Bonnie the truth. The true truth. It's difficult with both of them so upset, Bonnie not wanting to listen and not trusting anything he says, but Siffrin desperately explains that everyone else is wrong. Siffrin let them believe that's what happened, because he's selfish and terrible and he did want them to be worried about him, but they're wrong!! He wasn't trying to leave, he was trying to stay with them! Because— what he did— it wasn't going to kill him, it was just going to reset him— (never mind that he does die each time, that's not what matters right now)— because he made a wish to stay with everyone and it meant he couldn't die, it meant he could redo the House as many times as he needed to so everyone would get through safely! And any time something— something bad happened— if someone was.. going to get hurt— or if everyone was going to leave, it would just reset! And he would wake up in the meadow again, and try again! He was just trying to reset, so he could stay with them, he just wanted to stay with them, he trapped them all so he could stay with them, trapped them going through the House again, and again, and again—

And Siffrin kinda dissolves into incoherency at some point, because this is the first time they've talked about it with anyone other than Loop, and with Loop neither of them had to actually say what they were talking about. Not to mention this is them admitting the loops to their family. On top of, Bonnie hates them again. So! Siffrin's not doing too great.

And even given a calm and careful explanation, the time loop was canonically a little hard for Bonnie to wrap their head around, and this explanation was not calm and careful. However, it's enough. "They're wrong, I didn't do that, I let them think that but they're wrong" is easy enough to understand. And Bonnie doesn't need the full explanation in order to believe him, because they've wanted to believe the others were wrong since the moment they put together what they were overhearing.

So, okay. If Siffrin didn't try to kill themself, then Bonnie doesn't have to be mad at them right now. Obviously, in this case, their anger should go towards the people who got it wrong and made Bonnie all worried over nothing, again! Plus, Siffrin is freaking out, and Bonnie knows what to do when that happens: get Loop, because Loop usually knows the best way to help, along with someone else, because sometimes Loop makes it worse instead.

But Bonnie's got a bone to pick with everyone else (except Nille, but they selfishly want Nille with them), so Loop will have to manage on their own this time. Bonnie finds them, says Siffrin's freaking out really bad, Loop's like sighhh okay I'm on my way. Siffrin taken care of, Bonnie storms onwards to where the other adults were talking. They all freeze at the sight of them — still awake when they should've been sleeping, and frazzled and tear-streaked to boot.

And Bonnie announces, "You're WRONG. I talked to Siffrin and they said you're wrong, they weren't trying to kill themself, they were trying to stay! He just let you believe that because he wanted you to be worried!"

And, well. First of all, oh no, Bonnie heard. But second of all, Siffrin definitely just blatantly lied to Bonnie in an attempt to reassure them. Which... is understandable, but really just prolonging the painful inevitable at this point. Nille says "Bonnie," in that breaking-bad-news tone of voice, but Bonnie stomps their foot and says, "No! You're all wrong! Talk to them yourself, they said you're wrong!!!" and refuses to hear another word on it. So everyone's like well. I guess we're talking to Siffrin. The adults don't want to bring Bonnie, but Bonnie is adamant, and this topic does unfortunately involve them now. So they finally relent and say Bonnie can come with them for the beginning IF they promise to leave when asked; Bonnie agrees because it's better than nothing, and maybe they can pretend to leave but then eavesdrop some more, if it comes to that.

So they all set out to where Siffrin is. Aaand Siffrin is having a panic attack and Loop is not helping. At least they're not making it worse either...? They're just sitting there ignoring them. Everyone asks Loop what's up and Loop is like "Stardust is the one who decided to tell you, I'm not going to just steal their show <3" which. at least confirms that there is something major to be told...?

Soo the mystery is gonna have to wait a bit. Crowding him won't help so Mirabelle and Odile clear out, while Isabeau stays to help him calm down. It's kind of a toss-up whose presence will be most helpful, because depending on why Siffrin is panicking, sometimes one or the other being there will stress them out more, but it can be hard to predict because he won't explain why... But Isabeau's usually the safest bet and he's good at it, besides. Nille wants to bring Bonnie somewhere to talk but they refuse to talk about it until everyone else understands, and Nille admits it's not going to be very productive until they know what actually happened. But she does convince them to go make some tea and a snack. Loop stays, sitting a little bit away but glancing over at Siffrin every now and then, worried or annoyed or guilty or impatient or a lot of other things. Carefully not freaking out as well by reassuring themself that this is Siffrin's problem with Siffrin's party regarding Siffrin's loops and has nothing to do with Loop, really.

Eventually Siffrin calms down, still feeling guilty and miserable. They did something that upset Bonnie that much, and they lied to their family for months, and now they're gonna hate them. But at least they can breathe and think now and Isabeau is holding them for one more moment. Isabeau gently explains what Bonnie said, and that it makes sense to want to shield them but that ship has sailed, and they need to get this cleared up in order to help them. And Siffrin shakes their head and says, "I told Bonnie the truth."

Isabeau says, "Sif... Madame was very clear about what she saw. If she hadn't intervened, you would have died before Mira could get there. What else could it possibly be? If— Even if you did it hoping we'd stop you and worry about you and stay with you, it was still a suicide attempt." Siffrin protests, "No, I wouldn't, I wouldn't do that to you, even just letting you believe it was so— so selfish, I just didn't want you to hate me—" and Isabeau says "Okay, if you wouldn't do that to us, then what was it? What were you trying to do?"

Siffrin softly admits, "I was trying to loop back. If Odile hadn't stopped me, I— I wouldn't die die, I'd just loop. To... I don't remember. To the... Somewhere in the House..? I was... trying to loop forward to somewhere in the House..." At the word "loop" Isabeau glances to Loop, but they'd left, at some point. Siffrin's eyes start to go vague at the end, as they try to remember the House, and Isabeau rubs their arms to try and pull their attention back. He's halfway convinced at this point that Siffrin was having some kind of psychotic break that had them convinced that killing themself would result in something other than dying — which would make sense, as far as explanations go, but with how strange things have been with Siffrin, who knows? The answer could be something that makes much less sense. Whatever it is, he'll only know if Siffrin tells him about it, so he asks, "What do you mean, loop..?"

Stopping myself here from writing out the whole conversation lmao but it's slow and quiet and Siffrin has a hard time talking about it but they manage to get the basics across. They were in a time loop and one of the ways to reset it was dying and that's all they were trying to do, just reset. No one was supposed to see and even if they did it shouldn't have mattered, it would reset again sooner or later anyway. But they broke the loop, that time. So it stayed. And Odile saw it and Mirabelle had to heal them and Bonnie was so worried and they shouldn't have stayed in that loop they should've reset as soon as they got to the House but they didn't want to, they wanted to stay, it was so selfish, they wanted to stay in that horrible loop just because everyone agreed to travel together that time and it turns out that was it. That's what they needed to get out, because it's their fault they were trapped, they made the wish, they trapped everyone and wouldn't let them leave, and even after it was over they still wouldn't let go, they let everyone worry even though it wasn't true, and now— and now—

s. Stopping myself here for real this time. ANYWAYS Siffrin cries some but Isabeau manages to help them not go full panic again, and he says he'll talk to everyone else about it, and he brings them back to camp. Siffrin has a little tea and then falls asleep, so Isabeau gets him settled in his tent and then reconvenes with the others. He lets Bonnie stay as he explains what Siffrin said, and it sounds outlandish but so is Loop's existence and it does kind of explain some of the strange things they've noticed...? Odile is like oh, yeah. No yeah that explains most of it perfectly. Time travel was one of my leading theories for sure. Mirabelle's like ?? And you didn't tell us??? And Odile's like look I have a lot of theories. I can't tell everyone every theory I have. But she goes over her evidence and everyone is like wow. Yeah okay.

Bonnie is majorly flagging by now — though feeling quite vindicated — so Nille takes them to bed. Then Isabeau, Odile, and Mirabelle talk about the whole "looping by dying" part, because it's one thing for Bonnie who didn't see it to accept that whatever Siffrin did was simply meant to reset the loops, but everyone else can't forget exactly what it was. But there's not much to say, really... How many times did he die? How many times did he die that way? They don't know. Too many times, that's for sure. And there's... not really anything they can do about that that they haven't already been doing.

So! That's how everyone finds out the complete truth!

[rawrrr121]

Would you write a fic, maybe about reader and Steven grant and Marc Spector and Jake lockley and how she meets the different alters and how she loves them all equally

Summary: Reader meets all the three different alters but loves them all the same.

Pairing: Steven Grant x Reader, Marc Spector x Reader, Jake Lockley x Reader

Contains: Fluff, romance, a little angst

A/n: Thank you so much to Louise for the request 🫶🫶

You met Steven first.

It was in a small bookstore near your apartment, tucked between dusty old shelves. He was staring at a book on Egyptian mythology with an almost reverent awe, mumbling facts under his breath. You noticed how gentle he was, how his eyes sparkled when he talked about gods and history.

"Are you a historian?" you had asked playfully, making him jump.

"Oh! Blimey, sorry, I didn’t see you there," he chuckled nervously, adjusting his scarf. "Uh, no, not a historian, just... really into all this. It’s fascinating, innit?"

From that moment, you were hooked. You started seeing him often, long conversations over tea, museum dates, and walks along the Thames. He was sweet, tender, and kind—so utterly Steven.

But then, one night, things changed.

You were supposed to meet Steven at his place, but when he opened the door, something was… different. His posture was stronger, more confident. His eyes, usually filled with curiosity, were sharp, calculating.

"You must be Y/N," he said. The British accent was gone.

"Steven…?" you asked hesitantly.

His jaw clenched. "Not exactly. Name’s Marc."

Marc was a storm. Where Steven was gentle, Marc was intense. He carried the weight of a past he barely spoke about, but you saw it in his eyes. Yet, beneath his hardened exterior, he was fiercely protective. He would pull you into his arms like he was afraid to let go.

You loved him too.

You learned to tell when Steven was present and when Marc took over. You learned to navigate their differences, to love them as they were.

And then you met Jake.

You had noticed subtle changes before—bruises neither Steven nor Marc could explain, nights when neither of them remembered coming home. But you never pushed, knowing they would tell you when they were ready.

It happened one evening. You were waiting for Marc at a café, but when he arrived, his usual cautious confidence was replaced by something else—something darker.

His eyes scanned the room as if expecting danger, his fingers twitching near his jacket pocket. When he sat across from you, he smirked.

"Hola, cariño," he said smoothly, his voice laced with a Spanish accent.

Your breath hitched. "You’re not Steven. Or Marc."

He chuckled. "Smart girl. Name’s Jake."

Jake was different. He carried a quiet danger, an edge neither Steven nor Marc had. But there was something about him—something tragic, something you wanted to understand. He was the one who stayed in the shadows, the one who carried the burdens neither of them could.

And yet, as he looked at you, his walls crumbled, just a little.

"You’re afraid I won’t love you," you whispered.

Jake tensed. "Wouldn't blame you if you didn’t."

But you reached across the table, taking his hand in yours.

"I love all of you," you said softly. "Steven, Marc… and you, Jake. You’re not alone."

For the first time, his smirk faded. His fingers tightened around yours.

"You’re crazy, cariño."

You smiled. "Maybe."

From that moment, you loved them all—Steven, Marc, and Jake. Different souls, but the same heart. And no matter who was fronting, they were yours.

And you were theirs.

×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

A/n: Thank you so much to Louise again 🫶

Requests and feedback are highly appreciated.

I take MCU and Harry Potter. I write smut, fluff and angst.

[dreaminguponlilypads]

PRETTY LIAR, UGLY CRIER.

female!reader x Simon “Ghost” Riley

kinda hate this one lol

You were good at pretending.

Good at lying through your teeth, at smiling when your heart ached, at making everyone believe you were fine. It was second nature by now—playing the part of someone who wasn’t breaking, who wasn’t falling apart piece by piece.

And Simon let you.

He wasn’t stupid. He could see the cracks, the fractures running deep beneath the surface. But he never pushed, never forced you to spill your demons. He just watched—quiet, observant, waiting for the day you’d finally tell the truth.

But you never did.

Because you were a pretty liar. And he let you lie.

Until tonight.

Tonight, the weight of it all finally came crashing down, and for the first time, you couldn’t hold it in. It was ugly. It was raw. It was real.

You were curled up in the corner of the room, knees pulled to your chest, fists clenched in your lap as sobs wracked your body. Your entire frame shook, each breath sharp and ragged, your face streaked with hot, messy tears.

Your lips trembled violently, and no matter how hard you tried to quiet yourself, you couldn’t stop.

You were falling apart.

And Simon was there to see it.

He didn’t say anything at first. Didn’t demand an explanation or scold you for keeping it all bottled up for so long. He just watched—watched as the girl who always smiled, who always pretended to be fine, shattered right in front of him.

And then, he moved.

Slow, careful. He sank to his knees in front of you, hands resting on his thighs as he studied your crumpled form. “C’mere, love.” His voice was low, rough with something you couldn’t quite place.

You shook your head violently, trying to wipe your face, trying to hide the mess. He wasn’t supposed to see you like this. No one was.

But Simon wasn’t having it.

He reached forward, prying your hands away gently, his fingers curling around your wrists. His grip was warm, solid, grounding. “No more lyin’.” His thumb traced slow circles against your pulse point, steady and unyielding. “Not with me.”

You choked on a sob, your resolve crumbling further.

Simon exhaled, tilting his head slightly. “You always put on a good show. Smilin’ when you don’t mean it. Laughin’ when you wanna scream.” He shifted closer, voice dropping to a whisper. “But you don’t have to do that with me.”

You squeezed your eyes shut, more tears slipping free. “I don’t—” Your voice cracked. “I don’t know how to stop.”

Simon hummed quietly, pulling you forward. He let you collapse against him, let you bury your face in his chest as your fingers twisted into his hoodie. His arms wrapped around you, firm and unshakable, one hand cradling the back of your head.

“Then let me do it for you.”

You cried until your throat was raw, until your body ached with exhaustion. And through it all, Simon held you.

Because he wasn’t going anywhere.

You didn’t know how long you stayed like that, folded into him, fingers clutching his hoodie like it was the only thing keeping you tethered to reality. Your sobs had quieted, leaving only shaky breaths and the occasional hiccup that made your body jolt against his.

Simon didn’t speak. Didn’t rush you. He just held you—his warmth bleeding into your skin, his slow, steady breaths coaxing you toward something resembling calm. His grip was firm but not suffocating, like he was afraid you might disappear if he let go.

You felt… exposed.

Raw.

Like the girl who always had a perfect mask had finally cracked, and now all that was left was this messy, shaking, broken thing in his arms.

You hated it.

“I look like shit.” The words rasped out before you could stop them, your voice hoarse from crying. You tried to pull back, to put some space between you, but Simon didn’t let you go far.

He exhaled sharply—something like a half-scoff, half-laugh—as he tilted his head down, his masked face inches from yours. “Yeah, you do.”

You froze. “You’re not supposed to agree, asshole.”

“What, you want me to lie to you?” His arms tightened slightly, keeping you close. “I thought we were done with that.”

Your face burned, and you dropped your forehead against his chest again, groaning. “You’re the worst.”

“Never said I wasn’t.”

There was something almost gentle in the way he said it, the words carrying none of his usual teasing edge. It made something in your chest tighten—something deep, something fragile.

For a long moment, neither of you spoke.

Then, Simon shifted, his gloved fingers brushing against your wrist, where the skin was still tender from how tightly you’d been clenching your fists. “You always do this?” His voice was quieter now, careful.

You hesitated, your stomach twisting. You didn’t want to talk about it. Didn’t want to admit that this wasn’t the first time you’d broken like this. That it was a pattern—burying everything until it clawed its way back to the surface, suffocating you.

Simon must’ve seen the answer in your silence.

His grip tightened ever so slightly. “Love.” The word was soft. Rough. It scraped against something raw inside you.

You swallowed hard. “I don’t—” You hesitated, voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t know how else to deal with it.”

Simon was quiet for a long moment. His fingers traced slow, absentminded patterns along the inside of your wrist, grounding you.

Then—“Alright.”

You blinked, confused. “Alright?”

He nodded. “You don’t know how to stop. Fine. But you don’t have to do it alone.” His voice was steady, unwavering. “Next time you feel like this? You come to me.”

You stared at him, trying to find some hint of doubt, some crack in the promise. There was none.

“You don’t have to fix it. You just have to let me stay.”

Your throat tightened. “That easy, huh?”

A dry chuckle. “Nah. Not easy at all.” His gloved fingers lifted, brushing against your cheek, wiping away the remnants of your tears. “But I don’t mind hard things.”

Something in you cracked wide open.

Something you thought was sealed off.

But it never felt more refreshing.

[for-a-longlongtime]

Good lord what is the young Joel and Marcus wip 😏

ANON come here and let me kiss you on the forehead!! This one is special to me 😍

First of all... young!Joel Miller x young!MarcusMoreno is not a pairing that comes completely out of nowhere. As a matter of fact, they're lurking in my masterlist, tucked into a story, but I don't want to spoiler it for other people who may not have read some of the fics I wrote last year.

However, if you know - you know. 😏

Let's get into it:

This is probably one of the heftiest WIPs that I haven't posted anything from yet, as the doc clocks in at about 5K so far - and it's actually going to be a series! I'd say a tentative 9 to 10 (not super long, hopefully LOL) chapters at this point. And I'm actually going to try to have most of this written, or at the very least have half of it done before I post the first chapter, just to make things a little more manageable for myself.

We meet Joel and Marcus in Austin, TX when they're about 20 and 21 years old, and the series will span a period of approximately twenty five years actually, so I'm very excited about that! They meet in a bar - that Joel isn't supposed to be at, because he's not of legal drinking age - when they're trying to break up a fight among their friends, which results into the two of them getting kicked out.

Joel has been working long, long days in construction for a few years in order to support himself and Tommy, as their parents died when Joel was 16/17 years old. One of the reasons why he rolled into that line of work - besides the money - is because the childhood house that they still live in needs so much work done, and the only way he could think about being able to afford that somehow is by learning how to do all the work himself because he'd never be able to afford a contractor.

His life couldn't be any more different than Marcus', who is busy with college and who tries to hide a part of his life for most people - namely that his father is the leader of the Heroics and his mother is a Heroics trainer. There is the expectation that he's going to follow in their footsteps, but his powers haven't shown up yet, so he's trying to focus on blazing his own path.

They end up becoming friends, and music plays an important role in that; the series takes place in the (early/mid) nineties, so get ready for a good amount of grunge / rock / etc. There are a lot of twists and turns in their story (apparantly Little Beast was only the beginning of a whole lot of angst/drama pouring into my fics), so I don't want to reveal too much it, but let's just say that it's a tough ass road and things don't go the way they've planned.

But! I do have enough written so far that I can show you a little snippet of a very rough outline from chapter 2:

Joel and Marcus listening to grunge music and smoking so much pot at Joel's place. Careful first kisses. Giggling about it as they’re so stoned and kind of nervous. (They only smoke pot when Tommy isn’t around/going to be home that night, also to help manage Joels aches as he tends to be sore after a long day at the construction site - that's half of the reason why Marcus brings over weed). They’re both too high to do anything that requires much coordination but Marcus starts grinding against Joel’s dick and they eventually get eachother off that way, clothes still on, sitting on the couch. There are more kisses while they're both still panting, now with a giggle in between breaths every now and then, and the weed just makes them lose track of time - and it's not all that long before Joel finds himself grinding his hips up against Marcus again. "Fuck. Fuck, I…." He can't find the words, especially not when Marcus rocks back against him, just a little slower on his refractory period. "I want…. Fuck. 'm too high. I can't…" Marcus hushing him with another kiss and Joel moans, grabbing Marcus' hips and shifting on the couch, until Marcus is on his back and Joel on top of him. Nudging his hips into Marcus until they line up, still fully dressed, and the little “oh my god” once he gets it right. "Take it, take it, take it," Marcus panting under him, holding onto Joel's broad shoulders, which makes Joel moan against him, and when Marcus' hands grab Joel's ass, something just clicks inside of Joel's brain. And despite that everything is still slow and soft, he just goes feral because he wants it - wants Marcus - so goddamn bad "Wish I was inside you," against Marcus' ear, and Marcus cries out at that, imagining it, and because it feels so good that Joel is fucking his cock against him. "I wish I…" And not all of it is coherent, it's a string of words that fall from his lips, but he kind of talks Marcus through it, what he wants to do to him, and Marcus just loses his shit because holy fuck, Joel's voice is so deep when he's been smoking like this, and nobody has ever talked to him like this while getting off, and he loves it.

Thanks again for asking, Anon!! I honestly can't wait to write more on them and to eventually share these boys with all of you.

Want to know more about fics in my WIP folder? Check out the original post!

pssst, this is me looking innocent and tagging y'all for no reason whatsoever except for that you might be interested to see this WIP that's in the making 😇😘 thank you all so much for the support you gave to GP! @oliveksmoked @ohforficsake @wannab-urs @baronessvonglitter @angiewatson

@iknowisoundcrazyreads @gruaig-rua @thebeldroramscal @milla-frenchy @reallyrallyauthor

@jessthebaker @littleredpandanaps @bitchesuntitled @avastrasposts @almostempty

@almostfoxglove @rebel-held @magpiepills @legendary-pink-dot @mysterious-moonstruck-musings

@din-cognito @penvisions @alltheglitterandtheroar

[enhanextdoor]

𓂃۶ৎ 𝐍𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐈𝐍 𝐀 𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐒 ━━━ 𝖿𝗈𝗋𝖻𝗂𝖽𝖽𝖾𝗇 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾.

이희승 (l.hs). ─────⠀ㅤ 1,568 (in total) ―୨୧⋆ ˚ 𝗳!𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝗑 𝗰𝗿𝗶𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗮𝗹!𝗵𝗲𝗲𝘀𝗲𝘂𝗻𝗴 𓈒 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬. ⠀

부인 성명 (disclaimer) : read at your own risk. there is going to be fluff and angst themes. NOT PROOFREAD

taglist: @choisanswife. @leehsngs.

everyone knows the story of romeo and juliet. star crossed lovers that had their relationship end in tragedy, so why did you think that you had a chance to make it? they couldn’t. you should always learn your lessons from the books, that is what we are supposed to do. the thing is that lee heeseung was the exception, or so you thought. you didn’t think it would hurt to date the one person you are not supposed to. you were off limits to him and he was off limits to you but that only drew the both of you in. the fact that you weren’t allowed to be together made it all the more thrilling. at first it was just lingering gazes, then it turned into something more. you don’t even remember the moment you let yourself get completely engrossed in him, but it happened. now there you were laying on the ground with a bullet in your stomach as he held you in his arms. you never thought something this extreme would happen, neither of you did. bleeding out in lee heeseung’s arms seemed like quite the way to go. “just hold on y/n…” he cried as he applied pressure to the wound, his hands trembling. 

we should start from a week ago shouldn’t we? that’s why your relationship with heeseung came to light. heeseung was a member of one of the most notorious crime rings and you? the daughter of the competition. heeseung and you had been sneaking around for a little over a year now, you both were getting sloppy with trying to hide the relationship. “you know how much i missed you?” heeseung muttered as he hugged your waist from behind and you leaned back into him. “not enough.” you joked lightly which made him poke at your side. “oh whatever, you don’t even know the half of it.” he retorted and placed a quick kiss to your cheek. you two usually met up at a hotel right outside of town. you joked with him at first that it didn’t feel all that classy, but it’s become a bit of a safe haven for the both of you. somewhere you can both go and just be heeseung and y/n, not who the world needs you to be. 

“want to go get some food?” you questioned while looking the mini bar over, tired of the same options that are always offered. “are you reading my mind? get outtt.” he pouted just a little as he headed over to the door, grabbing the keys to his car. that pout of his was dangerous, you would give him whatever he wanted if he gave you the doe eye pout combo. the both of you walked out of the room and headed to the elevator. you pressed the button and he stood at your side, taking your hand in his own. you loved when he held your hand or was just near you in general. 

“y/n? what are you doing here?” you heard from behind the both of you which caused you to freeze. you recognized the voice almost immediately it was one of the lackeys that work for your family. you know that he knows exactly who is standing beside you and holding your hand, but you turn to look at him arching an eyebrow. “it’s none of your concern.” you straightened up a bit and you saw heeseung watching the guy too. “right, forgive me.” he said and gave a respectful nod as the elevator doors opened. you stepped on and tugged heeseung along with you and he happily followed. he leaned in to place a little peck to your lips. the doors shut and he snickered just a little, “it’s none of your concern” he mimicked you and you elbowed him. “shut up.” 

that was the first mistake, trusting that the lackey wouldn’t go back and report to your family that they saw you engaging with the enemy. that’s exactly what he did, went running right back and reported exactly what he saw, the hand holding. the leaning in as the elevator doors closed. your family was pissed to say the least. that’s why the hit on heeseung was put out in the first place. flashback to today, an hour before you were shot. you both were out on a date of course. you were both so wrapped up in each other that you didn’t notice you were being followed. you were eating some ramyeon since it was his favorite and you both found a place that has the best flavors. “we should just run away together.” he said randomly between bites which caught you a little off guard. “what? you are joking right? we can’t just run away together heeseung, what about your friends and your life?” you questioned and took another bite of your food. “i mean once we get settled down somewhere i’ll reach out and have them come to us. i just want to be somewhere where we can do more things like this. just go out and get ramyeon and be in love.” he admitted. it did sound nice if you were being honest with yourself. somewhere for just you and heeseung to be happy. 

the both of you walked away after you finished your food and cleaned up your area. you were holding hands with him again as you saw someone from the corner of your eye, one of your family’s workers and then you saw the gun. it took only a second for you to process before you pushed yourself in front of heeseung at just the right moment and the bullet that was meant for heeseung went right into you. heeseung didn’t even process it until you were crumpling and he was moving to try and catch you before you hit the ground. “no, no, no, no.” he panicked slightly as his hand moved right over the wound and he started to apply pressure. “someone call an ambulance now!” he screamed out at the onlookers. the gunman ran of course but the second he finds them it isn’t going to be pretty. right now though his main focus is you. 

“hey look at me, it’s going to be okay. the ambulance is going to be here soon.” he assured even though is trembling hands held the wound and the blood coated his hands and the ground. “heeseung..” you lifted your hand to caress his cheek gently, the pain was so unbearable and you were crying. “i love you.” his face filled with worry because that i love you seemed like more of a goodbye. “i love you too. just hold on y/n…” he cried as he applied pressure to the wound, his hands trembling worse than before. he leaned his forehead down to rest on yours as tears streamed down his face as well. “i can’t lose you. i can’t.” he cried softly as he held you. your eyes started to shut and the last thing you remember was the cries from heeseung, begging you to keep your eyes open. 

whatever prayers he said must have worked because you woke up in a hospital bed, hooked up to a few different things. your eyes scanned the room fearfully but the second you saw heeseung curled up in the chair at your bedside, hands still bloodied as well as his clothes, you felt a sense of comfort. his eyes opened slowly feeling the weight of your gaze and as soon as he saw your eyes open he was fully awake sitting up. “y/n. you’re awake.” his voice was gentle, his eyes filled with concern. you gave a weak smile, “yeah it’s going to take more than that to take me out.” you teased a little but he gave you a little unamused expression. “oh haha you are so funny. you really are cracking me up.” he said with a blank expression. his hand gently caressed your cheek and it’s when you realized the blood was still there and he simply didn’t care because you were okay and that was all that mattered. “if you ever do something like that again…” he was talking about jumping in front of a literal bullet for him of course. you just gave him a knowing look. “i get it hee, i promise i won’t do it again.” he took a deep breath and placed the softest kiss on your forehead. 

he had ended up in the hospital bed with you after you forced him to let the nurses bring him some scrubs to change into and he got cleaned up. you both were laying there and your hand was in his. you were playing with his fingers as you relaxed into him as much as you could in a hospital bed after all. “so now can we run away together?” he said, watching as you continued to play with his fingers. “you know i think it’s a great idea, as soon as i’m out of here we can leave and never look back.” you smiled and glanced at him. he returned the smile and placed a little kiss to the tip of your nose causing it to scrunch. “i can’t believe you took a literal bullet for me. never in a million years would i have expected that” he smirked just a little with a cocky little tone. “that’s it, get out of my hospital bed.”

c. enhanextdoor ; do not copy, repost, or translate my works.

a/n: this goes out to all the girlies that love that criminal romance shit. alexa, play criminal.

[crucifyjonnie]

♡ Assassin!Mattheo - First meeting

Summary: Mattheo got assigned the mission to end you, and he would find you at every price. But what he didn’t know was that you already knew about him.

Warnings: mentions of violence, dark themes, blood, stalking

Mattheo held the photo of you in his hand, studying your features thoroughly. Your coffee-colored locks falling down your shoulders, crystal clear eyes that could make any man drown. Sharp jaw, plump lips, and a small button nose. A beautiful creature, but he had been taught they were the most dangerous. Charming with their looks, devil in their soul.

For weeks he had been studying you, tracing your every step during the day. Keeping himself in the shadows to not be seen, keeping a distance between the two of you. He made sure to know your exact locations during the day, tracking down where you lived, where you worked, what gym you went to. Keeping the time of when you woke up in the morning, when you went to work, when you had lunch, when you got off work. He followed you to the gym, kept tracking what you trained. He had it all written down and made sure he wouldn’t miss a single damn detail.

Tonight was the night. The night where he was supposed to take your life, the night where he would see your blood pool around your feet, the night when he was going to witness life leaving your eyes. 

Mattheo pulled on his black cargo pants, together with his black leather holster. A pitch-black, tight t-shirt clothing his tense torso. He pulled on a black zip hoodie, pulling up the hood to cover his head. 

He looked at himself in the mirror, running his hand through his locks. Adjusting his holster, he placed a gun with a silencer  together with five throwing knives. His eyes still locked with his reflection, he picked up a throwing knife and spun it around his finger before putting it back in the holster together with the other four. 

Somehow, a strange feeling pooled in Mattheo’s stomach this night. Usually, he was never nervous going on his missions. But this time, it felt different. It was something with you, something with the picture of you, something with the way you were. Somehow, it didn’t feel right. He shook the feeling quickly and went out the front door. 

Walking down the pavement, Mattheo kept his mind on the one thing he had to do tonight, and then he saw you. And you saw him. Eyes locking for the shortest of seconds before you disappeared into the shadows. Mattheo followed shortly after, trying to comprehend the small and first interaction the two of you had ever had. You couldn’t know about him, could you?

Mattheo found himself in a dark, old, abandoned warehouse. He looked around but couldn’t see you. Only your footsteps echoing in the dirt of the empty warehouse walls. Mattheo looked around but couldn’t see even a glimpse of you in the shadows. 

“Mattheo… Riddle? Correct?” 

Mattheo’s eyes widened, twisting and turning his head. He could still hear your footsteps on the dirty floor, circling around him in the shadows. 

“You didn’t think I knew, did you? To be fair, you’re not so subtle when you stalk people. I’ve known your presence for the last few weeks.” 

Exasperation grew like a knot in Mattheo’s stomach. The thought of you knowing he had kept track of you all this time was damn near bewildering. It felt almost like a bad joke, and he couldn’t understand how he could’ve missed something like this.

“And if you have known all this time, why haven’t you done anything to prevent it?” Mattheo’s voice was firm. He felt calm, though the uncomfortable feeling of you knowing about him still lingered.

“Because… Where would the fun in that be?” Your voice was still echoing between the walls. You stood in the shadows, having Mattheo right where you wanted him. You aimed your gun towards him; the bullet would hit right in the middle of his forehead. But then he spoke again, and you lowered your gun.

“Yeah, you’re right. Where would the fun in that be? Bet you love the thrill, don’t you?” Mattheo’s voice took on a taunting tone. “Like you wanted to be followed.”

You furrowed your brows, shaking your head. Not in his wildest dreams could he believe in his own words. But right then and there, a throwing knife flew right beside your head, cutting your cheek, if only so slightly. With the tips of your fingers, you wiped away the blood. But when you looked up again, Mattheo was gone. Your blood ran cold in your veins because now you knew he had turned the tables, and with a sudden pull, he dragged you out of the shadows and into the middle of the room. 

“If we’re going to play this kind of game, we’ll play it fair.” Mattheo’s eyes bore into yours. You had only seen him from a distance before, except for the photos you had of him. But his features? Oh, he was handsome; his chestnut hair, his deep dark eyes, sharp jawline. You two weren’t so different from each other––both had experience in the same field, assassins. But it didn’t seem like Mattheo knew about that. 

You stood in the middle, and Mattheo circled around you like a wolf ready to eat its prey. His eyes roamed up and down your body, but his eyes were glued to the cut on your cheek. He reached his fingers to the cut, tracing it with his fingertips. “Such a shame…” he said with a low and husky voice, though a smirk tugged on his lips. “What is?”

Mattheo leaned into your ear, moving a strand of hair before whispering, “That I have to kill you.”

© cvrcingjonnie 2025. Please do not copy, translate or repost any of my works. Reblogs, likes and comments are welcomed though ♡ you are accountable for your own media consumption.

[animasola86]

LOST & FOUND 🫂 CH4

After agreeing to become their little girl, you are woken up by Mommy, who has special plans to ease you into your first day of your new life.

soft!Daddy!dom x Mommy!domme x little girl!reader

WARNINGS: F!Reader insert. Explicit sexual content. Mommy/Daddy kink. Dd/Md/lg dynamics. Pet names. Dom/sub undertones. Shared shower. Nudity. Vaginal fingering/assisted masturbation. “Self” care/makeover/waxing. Angst/humiliation. Hurt/comfort. (More notes under the cut!)

WORDS: 8k 🔷️ READ ON AO3

A/N: This chapter is a direct continuation of Chapter 2 and keeps focusing on Reader's new life as the Little Girl of Mommy and Daddy. All following chapters (unless stated otherwise) will follow the past-timeline and show how Reader ended up like she did in chapters 1 and 3. (For more info on Reader, check out the Notes in Chapter 1.) ❗ Please read THIS if you're confused about the tags I listed this under!

Chapter 3 🔷️ Chapter 4 🔷️ Chapter 5

Several months earlier

You woke up after that first night, completely knocked out and overwhelmed, to someone gently shaking you, lips pressing to your pillow-wrinkled cheek, a soft voice cooing for you to wake up. Mommy was there, and while your first instinct was to groan and turn back around and ask for five more minutes, not quite realizing where you were, she basically dragged you out of bed and into the bathroom.

While she certainly meant well, you felt very uncomfortable as she helped you out of the clothes you slept in and into the shower. You wanted to protest, against the fact that you were naked in front of a stranger, and also, didn't you just shower last night? With your mind still hazy with sleep, you wondered if rich people did it like this, showering every night and every morning, possibly several times a day? They definitely didn't have to worry about too much water consumption, apparently. But then the strangest thing happened: the woman you were supposed to call Mommy stripped down as well and stepped in after you, and your muddled mind was silenced immediately.

You were so surprised and more than taken aback by it that you just stood there, with your back to her, not even daring to take another look at her beautiful body. She was a bit taller than you and had all the right curves in all the right places, perfect skin, not a single hair anywhere on her body, except for her long black locks that she wore in a messy bun atop her head, and when she stepped behind you, her hands found your shoulders before she wrapped your unruly tresses around her fingers and brought them up in the same fashion, then slipped a hair tie over the mess to keep it in place.

Then she leaned past you (her perfect breasts pressing against your shoulder blades) and turned the shower on, and while you expected to be hit by either ice cold or scorching hot water, the temperature was perfect right away. That alone was a luxury you'd never experienced before. She angled the shower head to spray down below your chin to keep your head and hair dry.

You were still just standing there, baffled and embarrassed to be this close to such a gorgeous woman (though your main concern was how you felt like a literal child whose Mommy had to help them showering, but you figured that was part of her wanting to take care of you). As you woke up more and more, you became more and more aware and self-conscious of your neglected body. For months, self-care hadn't been an option for you, too much hassle, and for what? But now you wished you could have prepared yourself for this experience in some way, shaved maybe? Made yourself more presentable?

The question remained: what did this woman see in you to treat you like this?

Your anxiety spiked when you felt her soap-covered hands on your body, first on your arms, then she went straight to your breasts, cupping them, squeezing them lightly, rubbing the suds into your skin. You froze, holding your breath, clenching your hands into fists. It was such an intimate gesture, you weren't ready for it. A little sob escaped you, and you felt her pausing, before she leaned closer again, pressing her body against your backside.

“Are you okay, honey?” she asked directly into your ear, her velvety voice causing you to shiver deeply. “You gotta tell me if you don't like what I do, okay? This is for you. If you don't want it, I'll stop.”

You took a shuddering breath. “N-no,” you urged out. “I... I mean... it's okay... it's just... all so new...”

Her laugh echoed through the steam-filled room. “Never been touched by a woman before, sweet girl?”

“N-never had somebody... take care of me like this...” you whispered breathlessly, the thick air and her closeness making you dizzy.

You felt her lips on your cheek, the touch lingering as she spoke softly: “You better get used to this. We have so much love and care to give, you have no idea.”

It could have sounded like a threat, but you closed your eyes and nodded, leaning against her when she continued the gentle groping of your boobs. She chuckled again, bringing her lips down to your shoulder. Her hands moved lower eventually, rubbing over your stomach and down your hips, and you still couldn't move, you just endured (or silently enjoyed it?), but when you could feel her stepping around you, one of her hands slipping down your front while the other curved around your rear, you flinched badly.

Your feet squeaked on the tiled floor, and you almost lost your footing, but instead of getting away from her, she grabbed you a little harder, her hands on your waist, pulling you back, gently but firmly. Your chest was rising and falling faster, your heart nearly exploding behind your ribs. She shushed you, kissing along your neck as she returned her hands where she initially wanted to bring them.

“It's okay, sweetheart, let Mommy see, yes?” she cooed into your ear, and you stiffened, inhaling deeply and holding your breath as her hand brushed down your tense belly and directly between your legs.

You felt so embarrassed. You were not as spotless as she was, some would say natural, and while you let everything grow because you couldn't care about it anymore in the months of your slow downfall, you wished you could go back to not caring now. But you cared, you didn't want this woman to touch you in places nobody had touched in a very long time, yourself included, at least not this intimately.

You tried to squirm away, but she grabbed your ass in response, holding you in place. You let out a quiet yelp. “It's alright,” she said calmly, her lips back at your ear, the touch scorching hot. “I will not hurt you. I will not judge you. You are a beautiful girl, sweetheart, and nothing will ever hide that.” As she spoke, she started rubbing her fingers along your slit, a gentle touch, just a caress, every stroke of her hand accentuated by more soothing words. “You deserve to be loved, my sweet thing. Loved and touched and pampered. Do not be shy, do not be embarrassed. There's no need. You are beautiful. So beautiful...”

Her voice lulled you, made you relax into her ministrations, and as she finished her soothing pep talk, her fingers dipped between your labia, a little gasp escaped you, your lips parting, and before you knew it, she had caught it by pressing her mouth to yours, kissing you softly as she rubbed her fingertip slowly up and down until it prodded your entrance, and while her tongue pushed into your mouth, her digit pushed into your clenching cunt.

Your moan was swallowed by her own little inhale. Her other hand slid up your back until her palm was pressed to your neck, holding you steady as she continued to kiss and finger you, and all you could do was melt into her caresses, meeting her tongue with your own, gliding your lips against hers, even grinding your hips into her hand. Your head was spinning, breathless and overwhelmed as you were, and the more she touched you, the less vulnerable you felt.

The way she moved her fingers (she seemed to have added another one) inside you, slow and careful, pressing as deep as her knuckles allowed, fingernails scraping gently along your tight walls, it all felt very good very quickly. Your eyes fluttered shut, your breaths rasping out of you, new air barely able to reach your lungs as she kept plunging her tongue into your mouth. You felt like floating, surrounded by warm water and even warmer steam, pressed against a soft body, her hand closing around your nape, and all those touches sent more tingles down your spine, shivers and shudders, that all gathered low in your stomach, and lower, making your clit throb.

And it was when she suddenly pressed her thumb against that sensitive bundle of nerves that you yelped against her mouth, eyes flying open, a strange assortment of white and black spots dancing at the edge of your vision. Your legs trembled badly the more she rubbed at your clit, her fingers still plunging in and out, a little curl to them now, hitting different spots deep inside you. You stared at her, or tried to, she looked blurry, and you tried to blink your eyes back into focus, but instead a loud moan was ripped from your throat when she moved her fingers and her thumb in a clawing motion, pressing directly against your clit and g-spot.

You shook, your limbs twitching, and your hands found her waist for support as you gasped for air like a fish out of water, your eyes rolling back, your head reeling, and for a moment you felt as if you'd left your own body, floating away, without a care in the world...

You came back when she pulled her fingers out and kept caressing your sensitive labia, and every brush against your hood gave you another deep shudder. You clung to her, your forehead resting on her shoulder, your breaths labored and raw, your heart thundering in your chest. She rubbed your back with her free hand, soothing you with words you couldn't understand. The first that did make it through the cotton in your head, dug themselves deep into your soul:

“Good girl.”

A smile appeared on your trembling lips, the praise like an additional caress down your spine. You found yourself hugging the woman you barely knew and somehow trusted a lot more now, your arms snaking around her waist as you pressed yourself into her. She embraced you gently, holding you as the water sprayed against your shoulder. You felt her lips on your forehead, her exhale warm against your skin.

The rest of the shower was a blur. She kept washing you, rubbing her hands over your warm skin, and she even nudged you to touch her as well, which was yet another overwhelming experience as you weighed her big breasts in your small hands.

She continued to be gentle and patient with you, giving you time when you needed it, but also pushed you a little to get you out of your old habits. As embarrassing as it should have been, it was also refreshing and comforting to know that even if you might fall back into your dark hole whenever new and old doubts would resurface, Mommy was there to pull you back out.

By the time you were out of the shower and wrapped in a large, fluffy towel, a knock sounded on the door. You froze, but the other woman just huffed a sigh and walked to open it, still as naked as before, no shame whatsoever. Your eyes widened when you saw the tall man appearing in the door frame, his eyes first grazing the woman before they wandered to you. He smiled softly.

“Good morning,” Daddy said, his smile widening when he saw you blushing deeply, pulling the towel tighter around your body. He looked back at Mommy then, raising an eyebrow. “You beat me to it, huh?” he mused.

The woman laughed, nudging his bearded chin with her index finger. “Gotta be faster, old man,” she teased with a soft laugh.

You watched the two silently, frozen to the spot, acutely aware of just wearing a towel, your exposed skin warming up badly as your eyes wandered from Mommy's naked backside to Daddy's tall frame behind her. He wasn't wearing a suit today, but a tight shirt and formfitting sweatpants, and his hair was tousled, cheeks a little flushed. Had he been running? Probably, with a body like that –

“How are you feeling today, darling?” he addressed you, ripping you from your thoughts. Your face heated up even more.

“Really good,” you whispered shyly, chewing on your bottom lip as you met his gaze.

“I'm glad,” he replied, tilting his head slightly, his eyes crinkling.

“And she'll feel even better today. I'm taking her to the salon,” Mommy interrupted the moment by pressing a hand to Daddy's chest. “You can have her tomorrow.”

He sighed, bringing his gaze back to the woman in front of him. “Don't do anything she doesn't want to do, okay?” he told her quietly. “Don't scare her away on her first day...”

She laughed, turning back to you. Your heart skipped a beat. “Don't worry, we already established our bond, didn't we, honey?”

You lowered your eyes, your blush spreading all over your shoulders. “Yes, Mommy,” you whispered. It still felt a little weird to call her that, but seeing her reaction to it made up for the awkwardness. She mewled softly and turned around fully, extending her arms until she could pull you into a tight hug.

“My sweet girl,” she cooed, kissing your hairline. You leaned against her warm body, meeting Daddy's curious gaze over her shoulder.

“You'll be okay,” he told you with a gentle smile. “But remember: you can say no, we will not force you to do anything you don't feel comfortable with. Won't we?” he added pointedly, making Mommy turn her head to him. She gave him a smirk and a wink, and he sighed.

She let go of you then, taking a step back to him. “Go take your own shower now,” she told him, poking his chest. He grabbed her wrist and pulled her a little closer, eyeing her darkly.

“Don't tell me what to do,” he whispered.

“Make me,” she replied with a chuckle.

You watched them with growing curiosity, still wondering what kind of relationship these two actually had. For a moment they just stared at each other, before Mommy leaned up on her toes and pressed her full lips against his.

“Let us have our Girls Day, okay, papito?”

“Fine,” he said with an exhale, his other hand moving along her bare shoulders up to her nape before he grabbed the messy bun on top of her head and pulled her back a little. “But I mean it: I still want to recognize her later.”

Her turn to sigh. “Of course, don't worry,” she replied, putting her hand on his cheek, giving it a soft pat. “Unless she wants a complete makeover. This is about her,” she added, turning her head back to you. “Isn't it, sweet thing?”

You blushed when the attention was back on you.

“We'll do whatever makes you happy, okay, honey?”

“Okay,” you mouthed a little breathlessly. Your eyes wandered between the two adults (the longer you stood watching them, the smaller and younger you felt, no matter the fact that you were technically an adult yourself). You weren't used to all this attention, but it grew on you. It made you feel warm and seen (even if you'd prefer to wear more clothes while being looked at).

Daddy let go of Mommy then, taking a half-step into the bathroom. “Can I get a hug before I leave you in Mommy's care, sweetheart?” he asked quietly, extending a hand towards you.

Your body's immediate reaction was a sudden jerk, a clear indication that you wanted to sink into his strong arms and never emerge from them again, but your mind was still a little timid, and then there was Mommy, stepping between you and the tall man.

“Get away, you're all gross and sweaty. I just cleaned her!” she said, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

He lowered his hand slowly, his eyes still on you. There was a darkness within them, a strange look that made your stomach twist in a weird way, warm and tense, like a throb, a clench, an itch. “I... I don't mind,” you heard yourself stammering. Before you knew it, you took a step forward, your bare feet padding on the tiles, and when his smile widened, you extended a hand to put it onto his big palm. At the same time as he pulled you closer, you heard Mommy sighing. She stepped away, and you hoped she wouldn't be too mad, but you couldn't resist him – and the urge growing inside your own body.

He wrapped his big arms around your shoulders, and you found yourself pressed to his chest. It was warm, his scent filling your nostrils, filling your head, a mixture of body wash and sweat, a masculine smell that made you dizzy, but in a good way. You carefully snaked your arms around his waist and held onto him, closing your eyes for a moment.

“My sweet girl,” he whispered, pressing his lips to the top of your head. “Have a good time today, okay?”

“Okay, Daddy,” you murmured into him.

He squeezed you a little more at that, his inhale loud and almost surprised. As he embraced you, you suddenly felt another presence behind you. Mommy's arms joined yours in encircling the tall man as she pressed herself into you. His arms loosened, leaving you, pulling her closer against your back. You gasped a little as they hugged you tightly, and you would have never expected to feel this comfortable in a Mommy-and-Daddy-sandwich.

It was certainly strange to go from nobody caring about you, to having these two people taking such an interest in you. And they weren't lying. They had a lot of love and care to give, you could feel it in the way they held you and spoke to you. And you'd only met them yesterday! How was this possible?

But you didn't want to question it, you just wanted to melt into their warmth and strength, enjoy the moment, neither look back nor ahead. It felt good. Good enough to bring tears into your eyes. A little sob escaped you, and you buried your face firmer into Daddy's chest. Mommy let go first, and before you knew it, Daddy's hands were on your shoulders, leaning you back a little.

Looking up, you realized your vision was blurry. As you tried to blink your eyes into focus, you felt his fingers wiping at your wet cheeks, a concerned look on his handsome face.

“I... I'm fine,” you murmured quickly, sniffling quietly. “These are... happy tears...”

His relieved exhale hit your forehead before he leaned in and pressed his lips to the corner of your mouth. Meeting his gaze, you couldn't help it, you turned your head a little bit and used his closeness to brush your lips fully against his. His hands held you still for a moment, the kiss, if you could call it that, a lingering press, before he leaned back with a deep sigh.

“Sorry, darling, today's Mommy's day,” he whispered, giving you a wink. “We can expand on this tomorrow, okay?” As his fingers curled around your ear, his thumb rubbed over your bottom lip. “Trust me, I can't wait...”

You gave him a shy smile, your face properly burning now. He eventually let go of you fully and stepped back. Mommy put her hands on your shoulders. “See you later, Daddy,” she cooed.

“Bye, ladies, have fun,” he said with a little wave, his eyes fixed on you.

“Bye, Daddy,” you whispered, watching how his eyes sparkled when he winked at you, before he turned around and left the room.

You were still buzzing, basically floating, so when Mommy told you to wash your face and brush your teeth and use the toilet, you did as she told you, ignoring how degrading this should have felt, being told to do the most basic things, things a person your age should be able to do on her own. But it also felt good, having someone push you to do so, and she didn't sound condescending or mocking, but caring and sweet now that you were alone again.

Once you were all ready for the day, you stood, still in your towel, in the middle of the room (your room) while she pulled out various clothes, watching you as she did so, assessing your build and size, and in the end she chose a pair of pink panties for you and a matching bra that was a little loose but she assured you to buy better fitting things for you soon. You wondered then who all those clothes belonged to, they looked too girly to have been hers, and the wide array of different sizes also made you curious.

She looked at you as she held a knee-length pink dress to your chest. “We bought these for our old subs,” she said nonchalantly as if reading your mind. “I told you we've been looking for the right girl for a while. And we tried, tested a few, but none of them would really fit our needs, you know? You, however,” she added, putting the dress down to place her hands on your shoulders as she looked down at you with a soft smile, “you are what we're looking for. I can already tell. You belong here, and soon we'll fill this closet with your own things, and only yours, okay?”

You stared at her, your throat tight. Knowing that other girls had spent their time in this room, with these people, with your Mommy and Daddy, made you feel strangely small and insignificant. Like one of many. And you wondered when they would realize that you might not fit their needs either so they could move to the next girl. But you still hoped beyond hope that what she said was true. “So... so you won't... send me away again?”

“Oh, sweet thing, of course not, unless you want to leave, but I really hope you'll stay with us. We can give you anything you need, and you'd make us so happy too!” She pulled you against her bare chest (she still hadn't bothered putting on any clothes and you really envied her confidence), her arms tight around your shoulders as you gingerly hugged her back, feeling the soft slope of her spine under your clammy palms.

She kissed your forehead and let go again, smiling down at you. You felt the need to reassure her. “I'll... stay, I want to stay,” you whispered, biting your lip as a little smile played around the corner of your mouth.

Her hands found your face. “I'm glad,” she breathed, her lips brushing against yours, and then she really kissed you, a hard press, a confident lick against the seam of your mouth before you indulged her and kissed her back, timidly moving your tongue and lips against hers. “You taste so sweet,” she muttered, sighing deeply as she moved her lips down your jaw to your neck, giving your pulse a little suck that made you flinch a little. “I can't wait to taste more of you...”

Her words sent another deep shudder down your spine that ultimately gathered right in your throbbing clit. You had no idea what it was about this woman, about this whole situation, but anything she did to you, any touch, any word, made you feel like you never felt before. It was all warm and cozy, but it could turn hot and overwhelming in the blink of an eye. You slipped from feeling comfortable to completely aroused, back and forth, and it should be weird, but it wasn't. It felt right.

Mommy gave you another press of her lips to your neck before she leaned away, letting go of you to pick up the pink dress. “Alright, let's get ready for our Girls Day, shall we?” she said happily, shoving the dress into your hands. “Get dressed, I'll do the same, and I'll meet you here soon, okay?”

“Yes, Mommy,” you whispered, enduring/savoring another tight hug and a squeal from her, before she did what she told you and left the room, as naked as she was, her hips swaying as she went.

Later, you sat next to her in the back of the car again. She had put on a dark blue blouse and wide-legged pants, the pointy tips of her high heels poking out from the wide hem as she crossed her legs and leaned back into her seat, her hand on your thigh as she smiled at you. You smiled back shyly, feeling rather small next to her, in your soft pink dress, your magenta tights and those white little sneakers she gave you.

You had never cared much about being girly or wearing bright colors before, but it felt okay when somebody else told you to do so. The way she looked at you, so proud and happy, made it all worth it, even if you didn't quite feel like yourself anymore. But that was the point of this, wasn't it? To get you out of your old habits and show you something new, a new side of yourself. It could only get better from here, right?

Well.

Before it got better, it got a lot worse when you found yourself in a small room with a woman telling you to strip for her. Mommy was there too, but the stranger made you feel very uncomfortable. You were in one of those beauty salons you'd never seen the inside of. The woman seemed nice enough, or rather passive more likely, because it was her job to groom and take care of other people and she probably saw many different kinds of women each day, but you couldn't shake the feeling of a deep-rooted shame as you pulled your dress over your head, exposing yourself, feeling vulnerable and embarrassed and very insecure to show this stranger your neglected body.

Mommy helped you, her eager hands pulling down your tights (and panties) in one swift move, and you gasped and squirmed, trying to cover yourself, but she shushed you quietly. “It's okay, no need to be shy. I'm right here, you can do this.” You inhaled sharply, trying to focus on her as you stepped out of your tights, watching her put your clothes onto a nearby chair before she snaked her hands around your torso and unclasped your bra, adding it to the pile.

“Sit down please,” the other woman told you. When you looked at her, you noticed her almost bored looking gaze, as if she indeed did this several times a day. Nevertheless, you didn't, never had done this before, and when you scooted up on the reclined chair covered in a soft towel, you felt close to tears.

Clamping your thighs together, you put your hands on your breasts (wondering why you had to expose them in the first place when this was about trimming your body hair), when you felt Mommy's hands on yours as she leaned over you from behind. “Relax, baby girl,” she told you, turning her head to kiss your cheek. “Just relax. Lean back, close your eyes, and let the nice lady do her job, okay?”

And you tried. She kept her hands on your chest to ground you, giving your boobs gentle squeezes whenever you flinched or winced or squirmed as the nice lady began working on you. She started on your legs, and while you thought she might shave them as you would have done, she waxed them, and it felt strange when she applied the warm wax, but even worse when she suddenly ripped the sheets she pressed down onto your leg away again, causing you to squeak and almost kick her in the face.

Mommy kept close to you, hugging you, soothing you, her fingers drawing distracting circles around your nipples. You turned your head to her, your face flushed, watching her soft smile, the twinkle in her eyes, and somehow you made it through the torture of having your legs waxed. But then you felt a nudge against your thigh.

Looking back to the woman, you noticed her adding something to the chair you were resting on. Some sort of stirrups, and you realized you'd have to spread your legs and put them on there, because she –

– was about to wax your sex next. Oh dear God.

A whimper escaped you, your thighs pressing even tighter together, and you looked back at Mommy, pleading with her. She shook her head and caressed your cheek. “It's okay, honey, it won't hurt for long.” But it will hurt, you wanted to tell her, your eyes widening. “You're a big girl, aren't you? You can take it.”

And somehow her well-meant words made you feel even worse. Shame flooded your entire body, your blush spreading down to your chest. Your legs were still burning and irritated, the skin tight, and to imagine the same procedure between your thighs? But being treated like a little girl in front of this stranger gave you a weird boost of confidence, reverse-psychology-style. Because you were not a little girl, you were a grown ass woman, you should be able to deal with this! Clenching your jaw, you inhaled deeply, looking up at the ceiling as you lifted your legs and put them into the contraptions of the chair.

You forced yourself to ignore the cold breeze against your pussy lips, the way the woman stepped closer, the way her gloved fingers applied the wax over the coarse hairs of your mound. Your own hands clamped down on the edge of the seat, your breaths labored as you waited for the inevitable pain to shoot through your body. But when it came, you still jerked, a scream escaping your tight throat that was quickly silenced as you felt Mommy's hands on your face, making you look at her.

You felt tears burning in your eyes, the throbbing pain between your legs only part of the sudden waterworks. Her gaze was stern and hard, and you couldn't look away. You kept chewing on your bottom lip, wondering if you'd disappointed her by being so squeamish about this. If she'd change her mind about you being the perfect one. As the first tear rolled down your cheek, her gaze softened, her thumb tracing the path it took to your jaw.

She leaned in then, pressing her lips against your forehead, while another jolt of pain ripped through you as more of your hair was pulled out. You flinched, but you also forced yourself not to scream again. You did bite your tongue and tasted blood, but you didn't want to show her how much you suffered. She had brought you here, probably spent quite a sum to give you this treatment (and you were in dire need of it too, even if you couldn't really handle the pain and shame it brought with it), and you knew you should be grateful. And you were, you would be, afterwards, when the pain was gone and your skin smooth again, but right now all you could do was cry quietly and endure.

You felt dizzy by the end of it, barely able to move your limbs. So you let the woman arrange you how she needed you, noticing that Mommy had shifted behind the chair, looking down at you, holding your hands above your head as your arms were being lifted, more wax came down and more pain throbbed through you, your armpits burning like they'd never done before. Through bleary eyes you watched her, squeezing her hands back, feeling lightheaded and disoriented.

And then it was over, finally. Someone pulled you off the chair and onto trembling legs, Mommy helped you get dressed again. Your skin was warm and tight, but as smooth as it had ever been. The shame of the procedure was just a little flame in the back of your mind now, somehow you felt too numb to care anymore.

Once you were in your tights and dress again, you were guided into another room, onto another chair, and while Mommy sat down on a stool next to you, grabbing your hand and holding it tightly, you felt a new pair of hands on your head, fingers loosening the messy bun on top before slipping through the wild strands. You inhaled deeply and leaned into the chair, letting them do their thing. It hurt when they brushed through the unruly mess that was your hair, it hurt when they plugged your eyebrows into shape, it hurt and stung and the shame flared up from time to time, but you tried to focus on Mommy and her beautiful face, as she watched you closely, never not paying attention to you.

That might have been the weirdest thing. The way she always watched you, so attentively. Nobody had ever looked at you like this, not even your own mother, who had always been busy with other things, your siblings, one of her husbands, her phone, the TV, anything else, while you tried to tell her about that drawing you made in preschool that day. You remember that you eventually gave up telling her anything, and the older you got, the more you distanced yourself from her, because it wasn't worth it anymore. She just didn't seem to care, and she did a very bad job at hiding it also.

But this woman, the one you met yesterday, looked at you with so much care in her pretty eyes, held your hand between hers, warm and gentle but firm, showing you she was there. She cared, she barely knew you, but she cared, and it brought another tear into your eye that you quickly wiped with your free hand, before giving her a brave smile as your head was jerked back a little again. And because she cared, you cared too, you wanted to show her that you were indeed a big girl, that this didn't hurt, that it wasn't uncomfortable, that you could endure.

This was for your own good anyway (even if it felt like torture). She was trying to make you your own person again, bring you back into the world that had spat you out so ruthlessly.

Eventually, you relaxed into whatever was happening around you. Your eyes fluttered closed, your hand gave hers the occasional squeeze, and you just lay there, thinking about your new life, thinking back to the tall man waiting his turn back home (your home... what a twist), and you wondered how he would spend the day with you. Would he do Dad-things with you? Take you to some sports event? Watch TV with you? Go fishing, maybe? You realized you had no idea what a father would even do with his kid, because neither your biological father nor any of your various step-fathers had ever shown any interest in you.

Then again, maybe you shouldn't focus on the Dad-things, but the Daddy-things. Because quite frankly, you didn't want this man to be your father, you wanted him to be there for you, hold you and kiss you, be something more to you, you wanted to sit on his lap again, lean against him, feel his warmth and strength, and his hands all over you...

A little gasp escaped you as you felt your core clenching around nothing, a little throb, then a little drip into your underwear. It had been a long while since you were attracted to anyone in any way, and somehow, after just a few moments with that man you knew practically nothing about, you felt your heart beating faster just thinking about him. But when you opened your eyes, coming back from your mind to notice the woman still holding your hand, you realized it wasn't just him.

You also liked her, the way she touched you, kissed you, how confident she was, how she made you feel both small and comfortable at the same time. You had never questioned your sexuality, never really considered yourself one or the other or anything else for that matter (you had a boyfriend in high school, and girlfriends you'd play around with, but it was never as intense and eye-opening as whatever you were experiencing right now).

It was all new and exciting, and knowing you had the attention of a beautiful woman and a handsome man was just mind-boggling to you. It felt like a dream, and not even the throbbing pain still coursing through your body seemed to be able to wake you up from it.

At the end of it all, you sat in the car again, next to Mommy, who still held your hand. After getting a new haircut (only a little trim), she'd taken you to the nail salon, and together you chose a subtle pink for your nails. They remained short and natural, but it felt so much better knowing they added to the overall transformation of your once neglected body. You did feel like a new person, a new girl, a young woman, ready to begin a new chapter of her life.

The trunk of the car was full of bags, filled with dresses and skirts, blouses and shirts, sweaters and cardigans, socks and tights and a variety of shoes, all of it girly, elegant, but also comfortable and chic, a whole closet full of things that only fit you. Buying underwear was another ordeal with Mommy, but in the end she found you beautiful pieces, ranging from cute and modest to really extravagant and barely covering anything.

And you felt good seeing yourself in them, confident despite all those areas you didn't particularly like – because apparently there was underwear that didn't have to be too loose or too tight, like the ones you'd bought before, the cheap ones. These new ones hugged your body like a second skin, accentuated the good parts and hid the bad ones, making you feel so much better about yourself.

During your shopping trip, Mommy bought you lunch and later a milkshake, walking with her hand around yours. While she did most of the talking, small talk mostly that you appreciated very much, you felt more and more at ease with her. Yesterday she'd been a stranger, and now, she was your Mommy, someone who took care of you, who laughed with you, who made you feel comfortable.

When the car returned to the mansion, the adventures of the day weighed you down more than you thought. You were tired, still a little sore from the waxing, but overall you were happier than you'd been in ages. Mommy helped you out of the car and pulled you towards the entrance door, while the driver started carrying all those bags into the house. In the kitchen, you were met by a delicious smell, and a large frame that made your heart beat faster.

“You've returned,” Daddy greeted you (looking so incredibly handsome in a white button-up with the sleeves rolled up over his strong forearms), putting down a dish towel before he approached you. Mommy let go of your hand and gave you a gentle nudge that you didn't really need, because in the next second you had fallen against the tall man's chest, your arms tight around his waist. “Aww, did you miss Daddy, baby girl?” he cooed, embracing you just as tightly.

You mumbled your confirmation against him, closing your eyes as you just leaned into him, no longer wondering why it felt so easy to be this close to these people. It just felt right. The way they looked at you, treated you, paid attention to you, all the trouble they went through for you. It was special, and you embraced it by embracing them, knowing how easy it was to please them with just a few words and a few simple displays of affection.

Eventually, he leaned you back by holding your shoulders, his eyes wandering over your flushed face and your bouncy new hair. His fingers stroked along your tresses, twirling the ends playfully. “Looks really good on you,” he told you, and you smiled shyly. “You're even more beautiful now, sweet girl,” he added quietly as he bent down to press his lips against your cheek.

You squirmed away with a soft giggle when he nuzzled your jaw, his hands roaming down your body to tease at your ribs. You fell into a full-on laughing fit when he continued tickling you, digging his fingers into your sides, while his teeth grazed along your pulse, your own hands grasping helplessly at his forearms.

“What a sweet sound,” he breathed against you before he stopped and grabbed your waist, lifting you effortlessly until his arms rested just beneath your rear, holding you up. You put your hands on his shoulders, looking down at him with your cheeks aflame and tears burning in your eyes, still smiling at him. “My sweet little pumpkin.”

You scrunched your nose at the nickname, making him grin even wider at you.

“Can I call you pumpkin, sweet girl?” he asked quietly, shifting you on his arms.

You considered it, wondering how he even got to calling you that, but then couldn't find a reason for him not to call you so. It did sound rather nice. “You can call me anything you want, Daddy,” you whispered breathlessly, your heart beating even faster.

“Yeah?”

You nodded, biting your lip. He turned you both around then and sat you down on the counter, leaning on his arms as he caged you in. His face was inches away from yours, his hot breath ghosting your lips. You watched him with growing anticipation, that tension in your stomach intensifying with every rapid heartbeat. He leaned closer, his nose brushing against yours, his eyes boring into your own, so intense, so hungry, and he tilted his head, your lips parted in preparation –

“So what's for dinner?” cut Mommy's voice through your special moment.

Daddy closed his eyes and leaned back slowly, exhaling loudly. You watched him, still holding your breath, your hands curled tight around the edge of the counter, your knees pressed together so hard your legs were trembling. He brushed his hands over your thighs, fingers teasing between them only for a second before he was gone, stepping away to the other side of the kitchen island, while Mommy took his place in front of you.

You saw them exchanging a long gaze, something dark glinting in Mommy's eyes. Her hands found your knees, and without looking at you, she forced them apart with a strength you hadn't expected from her. Gasping softly, you stared at her, and when her hands disappeared under the skirt of your dress, you stiffened. She looked back at you then, her eyes as intense as Daddy's had been.

“Girls Day isn't over yet, sweetheart,” she whispered, tilting her head before she leaned closer, brushing her full lips against yours. Her fingers moved around your rear before they slipped under the waistband of your tights. Your heart skipped several beats as she started pulling them down, and you squirmed on the counter, struggling between allowing her the motion and fighting it.

“You should give her a break,” sounded Daddy's voice from behind her, and when you looked past her as she lowered her head with a deep sigh, you saw concern and something else in his dark eyes.

“Don't tell me what to do,” Mommy whispered quietly, slowly turning around enough to look at him. Her hands were still halfway down your tights, her body wedged between your spread legs.

He stared at her, narrowing his eyes. “It's her first day, babe,” he said, the muscle in his jaw twitching.

She gritted her teeth, looking away until her suddenly cold eyes found yours. Your breath hitched in your throat. “But Mommy's hungry,” she muttered, licking her upper lip. You swallowed thickly, watching the exchange with bated breath, not quite understanding what was going on.

“Have dinner then,” he replied from behind her. “Greta made ravioli.”

Slowly, she slipped her hands from inside your tights and grabbed the waistband, shifting you back into them with a jerk. You gasped softly, scooting back on the counter. Then she gripped your chin and made you look at her. “Fine,” she said quietly. “Let's have dinner. I'll have you for dessert then, hm, sweet cheeks?”

She pulled you closer to her and smashed her lips against yours, inhaling deeply before leaning back again, letting go of you abruptly and stepping away, her heels clicking over the hardwood floor. And you sat there, on the counter, with your lips parted and trembling, confusion washing over you as you followed her with wide eyes.

Daddy extended a hand to you and, once you grabbed it hesitantly, helped you off the counter. Still holding your hand, he bent down to whisper softly: “Don't mind her, she gets cranky when she's hungry.” He winked at you then, squeezing your fingers.

You blinked up at him in even bigger confusion, but eventually you let it slide and let him pull you through the kitchen and into the dining room.

“By the way, I haven't asked before, so I told our chef to make something vegan. Do you eat meat, pumpkin? Do you have any allergies?” Daddy asked quietly as he pulled out a chair and motioned you to sit down.

“I, uh, I do, eat meat, I mean. And no allergies I know of,” you replied with a stammer, your legs still shaking a little.

“Good, that's perfect,” he mused and walked around you, sitting down at the head of the long table, while Mommy sat across from you, studying her nails.

Between you was a large plate covered by one of those fancy metal hoods, and when Daddy lifted it, a heavenly smell distracted you from the strange tension around you. There were three different types of handmade ravioli, big ones, not those tiny ones you'd eat straight out of the can, they looked so fancy and professional and delicious of all things, and when you listened to his explanation of which was which, you couldn't decide which one to choose, so you took one of each, earning you a little laugh from Daddy.

“That's a good appetite,” he praised, taking one for himself before he held out the prongs to Mommy. She turned her head to him, her eyes narrowed, and when she closed her fingers around his, you could see her knuckles blanching.

“Shopping makes hungry, you know?” she said pointedly, snatching the prongs out of his grip to put two ravioli onto her own plate.

He just sighed and lifted his fork. “Well, dig in, and again, welcome to your new home, pumpkin,” he added with a nod towards you.

You smiled shyly, nodding back. “Thank you,” you mumbled timidly, before you inhaled deeply, looking over the table to Mommy who seemed to poke at her food with quite the disinterest. “Really, thank you for everything, Mommy,” you said a little louder. “I had a great time today.”

She looked up then, her hard gaze softening immediately. Her hand reached across the table to brush against yours, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Me too, cariño,” she whispered, a small smile grazing her lips.

Seeing her relax again made your heart beat a little faster.

“Aren't you two the sweetest,” Daddy mused, his fork halfway up to his mouth. “Eat up now before it gets cold.”

Mommy pulled her hand away and focused back on her plate, ignoring Daddy's comment. You looked at him, feeling your cheeks burning up when he gave you another wink, before you turned back to your food as well.

Your mind was reeling from all the impressions of this single day. It was still something of a blur, a dreamlike experience, and occasionally a few doubts would poke through the cotton in your head, making you wonder when you'd wake up again. But you didn't. It seemed real enough. A real dinner, with real food, and real people. People who watched you, who offered you more, who reached out to scrape sauce off your cheek.

It had been twenty-four hours, and yet it felt as if you'd known these people way longer. The way they cared for you made it all so much easier. It was a dream, but a dream come true. And somehow you knew that there was a lot more on the horizon.

Chapter 3 🔷️ Chapter 4 🔷️ Chapter 5

End notes: Probably should have mentioned it earlier, but the whole waxing/makeover scene is only to show how Reader's depression made it impossible for her to take care of herself, it's not to shame anyone choosing to have body hair, because that is of course a choice. Please do not take offense in Mommy's ideals, she just wants to make Reader feel pretty in her own, slightly controlling way (that could be considered a bit dubcon if you squint, but really, Reader just isn't in a state of mind where she knows what she wants yet, so this is all some good-natured nudging).

Thank you for reading! New chapter every Saturday!

Up next: You are back in Daddy's arms, and he has his own special plans for you...

MASTERLIST 🔷️ AO3 🔷️ ORIGINAL WORKS

[heesngirl]

Preview : Heeseung and you happened to end up staying at the same hotel, and given the circumstances, the time without seeing each other, and the emotions of the moment, your intention was to finally make love, but in the middle of foreplay, you were interrupted.

— Heeseung x MC reader. Established relationship, light smut, mention of confidentiality contract (just a joke from the protagonist), pussy eating, face sitting, body worship, emotional and intimate connection. MDNI

Count : 6K

Note : This would be the prequel to "Be Continued". Only the third part remains to be published, which is Heeseung getting a blowjob.

It was enough to get into the back seat of the car for you to finally collapse just as you had been longing for. Whoever dared to say that your job was not hard at all was definitely nothing more than an ignorant, ill-informed person. Although, you also had to take into account the fact that when they invited you to participate in this event, they made it very clear that you would only cover a certain amount of time; however, a certain girl who was going to take over for you in the end could never arrive and did not notify you until the last moment.

You understood that her job was just as demanding or even more demanding than yours, but you mentally reproached her for having offered to participate, and not taking into consideration the fact that her current acting project could take more time than she planned. Later you would have the opportunity to personally unload on her.

For now you had to deal with your energy drop, since at that point you were more tired than a person; Your social battery was exhausted almost at the end of the day, so you were counting the hours to get out of there and go lie down in your hotel bed.

Although, now lying in the backseat of the vehicle you were tempted to sleep, at least during the minutes that would pass on the way to the hotel.

— Hey! Hey! Hey! Don't even think about falling asleep now. Let me remind you that you have an empty stomach and you should eat something first. So you better wait until we get there. — Joo Han scolds, observing your almost unconscious being through the rearview mirror.

— Oppa~ I'm dying, my little feet hurt like hell and I swear I'm more over there than over here, sleep is overcoming me — your protests sound strangled due to the way your cheek is crushed against your arm, and also because you could barely speak. You weren't lying, you were about to fall deeply asleep. — I don't think I can hold out until we get there, let me get some sleep please~ — you say, putting some emphasis on the last two letters.

Being aware of how noticeably exhausted you looked, Joo Han had no other choice but to let you sleep as you begged so much. It was obvious that he would end up giving in.

— Okay, you win, miss. You can sleep for a while, but I don't want to hear you complaining later when I have to interrupt your rest because we arrived at our destination. — he warns with supposed severity, but both of you knew that as soon as you arrived he would let you sleep a little longer before waking you up to get out of the car.

After having received the green light from your esteemed manager, you settle as much as you can in the seat and prepare to fall asleep. Unfortunately, you don't manage it.

At the exact moment you're about to fall asleep, your cell phone ringtone resounds, the sudden noise causing you to jump in place and abandon the task of going to dreamland.

A string of profanities was about to come out of your mouth, each and every one dedicated especially to whoever dared to bother you at that moment. However, all the bad mood along with the sleep and tiredness went to hell in a matter of seconds, and all after having read the name of the sender who requested to have a facetime with you.

— Oh god, my girl is so gorgeous — is the first thing you hear him say as soon as you agree to start the video call. Heeseung looks radiant from the other side of the screen smiling only for and at you. There was no way you could be upset with him, and even less so after hearing that. — How have you been, babe? I'm sorry for not contacting you sooner, but the concert hasn't been over for long and now we're heading to the hotel to rest. — although you were probably aware of it, he still took the trouble to explain since it didn't leave you any material to overthink.

Well, the truth is that since early in the morning you had been leaving him messages hoping that he would read them at some point, something he couldn't do because he was so busy with his responsibilities.

The concert he mentioned was the same one you had planned to sneak into incognito once you were free, but as mentioned before, the lack of organization and time of Jake's actress girlfriend as special guest and second MC in command, did nothing but disrupt and frustrate your plans.

Obviously, Heeseung didn't have that detail in mind, because you assured him that your itinerary didn't even leave a small space to go see him. Your karma for lying to your boyfriend, who was dying to see you in person after what would be two months.

— Hee, you don't have to give me explanations, I understand and take into account your reasons. — you answer simultaneously, getting up so you can give your beloved boy a close-up view of your face. You can notice how he stares at you in a daze for a few seconds. — I had been looking forward to attending the concert. I was right and I was going to surprise you by sneaking into the audience. But, it turns out that Jake’s boo seems to have an altered perception of time and he miscalculated, his recordings were extended and she couldn’t show up at the event. In the end I couldn’t get a replacement and I had to extend my day. — you confess with weariness and a frown, causing Heeseung to laugh at the seriousness with which you approached your tantrum.

— It’s a shame you couldn’t come to the concert. But leaving that aside, wasn’t it too exhausting for you? — the boy was aware of how precarious your social battery was, and even more so after a long day.

— Yes, yes it was. In fact, I was about to fall asleep, but your call came in and well, you know I just couldn't ignore it even if I'm dying — you confess, your boyfriend on the other side of the screen smiles, moved by the honesty of your words and by having that kind of privilege on your part. — Most likely, once I get to the hotel, I'll just have to get in touch with the bed to fall into a coma until the next day. — both laugh at that last comment, because they knew you were very serious.

— You don't deserve less, baby. Make sure you rest well. Just don't even think about going to sleep on an empty stomach — you perceive the severe tone in his voice and you do nothing but look at him ironically. — Don't look at me like that, the last time we slept together you made me get up in the middle of the night because you were hungry and then you had a hard time falling asleep again. I'm worried that you don't sleep your hours straight or that you skip meals. — he had a point in his favor that was simply difficult for you to refute, so you had no choice but to accept it.

— I'll make sure to have dinner before I go to bed. Don't worry too much now, besides, you should eat well and rest too — you remind him back. You're about to add something else but from the driver's seat Joo Han signals you to end the call. — Baby, I have to leave you. It seems it's time for me to get out of the car. I'll talk to you before I go to sleep.

— It's okay, baby girl, in fact, it's time for us to get out now too — you found that kind of coincidence a little strange, but you chose not to give it importance. — I love you, we'll talk later. — and without anything else to say he cut off the video call.

You put away your cell phone and took the bag you were carrying with you. You saw Joo Han get out first so he could go around the vehicle and open the door for you.

As soon as you got out of the car you noticed the slight gathering of people lying at a certain distance from the facilities; something quite strange in your opinion, since information about where you would stay during your stays outside of Korea was never leaked. Even stranger was how suddenly that small crowd seemed to get upset.

As much as your fame was rising, you found it impossible to believe that their uproar was due to your presence.

— That's how small the world is. — Joo Han's voice resonates behind you and you immediately

turn to face him, but he seems to be looking at something or rather someone who is beyond where you both lie standing.

You look away in the direction where your manager has his eyes fixed, and just that action is enough for you to understand the meaning behind his previous words.

You are perplexed, and the boy on the other end is no better than you, since he also seems to not finish processing what is happening at that precise moment. Both of you are there, looking at each other carefully, trying to make sure that what your respective eyes see is nothing more than reality.

Your minds connect… you feel your surroundings stop and suddenly it's just you two in the world, in the same place and time. If it weren't for the people who were hanging around those same places, you would have surely run towards him and even jumped into his arms. At that moment you thanked the universe, destiny and any other omnipotent force for conspiring in your favor.

— Hey come on, we can't stay out here for so long — Joo Han murmurs, making you leave the dream plane in which you seemed to be immersed. — You can talk to him later — he says as he urges you to start walking and enter the hotel once and for all.

You followed your manager's steps walking through the reception area, in the process feeling the weight of a gaze on you, you didn't even have to turn around because you knew perfectly well who it was. Only Lee Heeseung could have that kind of effect.

While you went with Joo Han to request the rooms to stay in, you managed to see how your boyfriend and his group headed towards the elevator. They made eye contact for a few seconds until the doors closed and he disappeared from your line of vision.

His presence in that place definitely altered your entire system, the level of your neurotransmitters increased drastically, you could feel the excitement bubbling and running through your entire body.

— Come on, I'll leave you in your bedroom to rest. — you look at Joo Han for a few seconds, thinking that at this point rest was the last thing relevant to you, the only thing you wanted was to be able to go to your boyfriend and throw yourself on him to kiss him and then both of you catch up.

After a while of boarding the elevator, you finally found yourself on your corresponding floor. Your manager dropped you off right in front of the door, and after giving you some instructions to avoid unwanted intruders in your room, he went to his own.

After a long, tiring day, you finally arrived at your hotel room. You closed the door with a sigh of relief and headed straight to the bathroom, eager for a moment of relaxation. Of course, not before giving your boyfriend the room number via text.

As the cold water fell on your tired skin, you felt the stress and fatigue slowly fade away. The comforting sound of the water enveloped you, and for a moment you allowed yourself to disconnect from everything. Even the disgust against Jake's girl became a non-existent plane.

After a time that seemed eternal to you, you got out of the bathtub wrapped in a soft bathrobe. As you dried your hair with a towel, you heard a soft knock on your room door. You paused for a moment, getting an idea of who it could be, and the excitement rose in you once more. As you approached the door, the knocking was repeated, this time more insistently.

As you opened the door, you were met by the figure of your boyfriend, standing in front of you, with that mix of urgency and devotion etched in his eyes. Before you could say a word, he had already crossed the threshold, closing the door firmly behind him. His arms wrapped around you tightly, lifting you off the ground as his lips sought yours, leaving no room for surprise. His kiss was voracious, hungry, as if time and distance had been a punishment that could finally redeem him.

You didn't have the chance to react at first, but you didn't need to either. Everything in you responded to that intensity, returning with equal vehemence the way his lips moved against yours. The time apart had been torture, and now every caress and kiss seemed like an affirmation that all of that was over.

The whirlwind of emotions stretched on for minutes that felt like a blink of an eye. The labored breathing, restless hands, and the accelerated beating of their hearts filled the small space of the room, as if the rest of the world had vanished. When their lips finally separated, they both looked at each other with a mixture of need and relief, smiling almost at the same time.

Heeseung took a few steps forward, taking you with him to the bed. He dropped down with an uncommon softness on it, dragging you with him to keep you close. One of his hands went up to your face, outlining your cheek with a tenderness that contrasted with the fervor of his first gestures. His eyes looked at you as if he wanted to memorize every detail, every shadow and every light of your face.

— Baby girl, I've missed you so much — he whispered tenderly, letting his words fill the intimate space you shared. — Every second away from you felt like an eternity. You don't know how much I've longed for this moment.

You were touched by the honesty of his words and the intensity of his emotions. In that special moment, despite your reserved nature, you allowed your own feelings to be freely expressed.

— I've missed you too, baby — you answered in a soft voice, allowing yourself to be more vulnerable than usual. — It hasn't been easy being away from you for so long, but now that we're together again, I feel like everything is in its place.

Time seemed to stop as you lost yourself in the mutual glow of your gazes. You threw yourself

against his lips once more, kissing him more calmly but with so much love in between. Lee smiled so pleased by your action, also because after you separated you didn't last long before planting another kiss on him, and another, and another... and a few more. He was melting internally, he loved this side of you that only he could bring out.

— Yes, you definitely missed me as much as I missed you — he jokes with a lively tone. — Which surprises me. Hadn't you boasted that you wouldn't miss me and could be at peace without me?

At his words, you lowered your head, hiding your face against his chest to hide the embarrassment you felt. Despite your attempt to hide your emotions, Heeseung put his arms around you and caressed your back softly.

— As expected, it was nothing more than a joke, and I ended up swallowing my words — you admit, simultaneously raising your face to look him straight in the eyes. — It hasn't been easy being away from you, Hee. I was aware of how much I need you by my side, even in the busiest of times.

Your words comforted him, and you couldn't even imagine how much, so his way of letting you know was to hold you closer to his body and lean in to leave a kiss on your forehead.

— Now you understand how I've been feeling these past few days. not being with you even for a measly second. It's not easy being away from you, babe, but that just made me realize that we're getting more and more in tune. — his words were so unfiltered, you felt touched by his sincerity.

— You know? This makes me realize how much I needed a moment like this with you. Besides, I just discovered that I can be as cheesy as Jake's girlfriend or Hoon's little sunshine. — both laugh because of such a statement.

— Don't compare yourself, never do, you are you and that's what makes you so wonderful. I'm aware of how loving you really are, when it comes to the affection that comes from your heart, which makes me feel loved. — he declares, his eyes never leaving yours as he pronounces each word. — Also, remember that there's Jay's girlfriend. — he adds, and ignoring a little of the romanticism you give him a little punch in the chest for that last thing he said. But he shrugged it off and just laughed.

— Yeah yeah, you're all so lucky to have gotten such wonderful girls like us to notice you. — you mocked with great pride.

Heeseung laughed ironically, a mocking smile playing on his lips. Then, he turned gracefully, leaving you cornered against the mattress while he hovered over you.

— I can't deny what you say, — he admitted with a mischievous glint in his eyes. — I really was lucky enough to get the wonderful girl that I boast of admiring and loving so much today. — with shining eyes and a pounding heart, you reacted completely touched by Heeseung's words.

Your lips met in a fiery kiss once again, a whirlwind of emotions enveloping you, dragging you into an exclusive world where time faded away and only the two of you existed. Your hands, driven by an overwhelming desire, gripped his shirt tightly. Your trembling fingers sank into the fabric, crumpling it in your fists as you pulled him towards you with an urgent, almost desperate need that demanded the immediate union of your bodies. That demanding attitude, charged with unbridled passion, further ignited the spark in Heeseung, who responded by intensifying the kiss. His tongue made its way between your lips, invading your mouth with a voracious warmth that seemed to devour you from within.

The soft murmur of their sighs mixed with the echo of their racing hearts, creating an intimate symphony that reverberated in the room. Every second that passed increased the intensity. His lips, skillful and demanding, explored yours as if he were seeking to memorize every texture, every flavor. The touch of your bodies generated an almost tangible electricity. Every movement, every touch between you, amplified the connection, the mutual heat enveloping you in a frenzy that gave no respite.

Heeseung's hands found your waist, his long, firm fingers holding you with a strength that, far from intimidating you, ignited your senses. When his lips began to slide from yours to your jaw, his warm breath caressed your skin, sending shivers along your spine. The kisses slowly descended to your neck, where his mouth stopped, leaving a trail of delicate bites that drew barely contained moans from your lips.

Your hands, now bolder, slid down his chest. Each caress was a message, a silent call that Heeseung interpreted perfectly. Slowly, your fingers sought the edge of the garment, pulling it up with clumsy movements, but loaded with intention. Noticing your intentions, he moved away just enough, raising his arms to make your job easier. With a swift movement, you slid the shirt over his head, letting it fall to the floor without caring where it ended up. Now, with his torso exposed, your fingers traced the contours of his body. Every muscle beneath your hands seemed to tense at your touch, and the heat emanating from him enveloped you like a flare.

Heeseung let one of his hands venture past your waist. His fingers traced a downward path, caressing the curve of your hip until they found your bare thigh. The fabric of your bathrobe was barely an obstacle to his touch. His hand, warm and firm, rested on your skin, his fingers brushing over it in slow but determined movements. That caress sent a shiver through your body, a shudder you couldn’t hide and that he instantly sensed.

With his lips busy exploring the delicate curve of your neck and collarbones, Heeseung left small bites and wet kisses, tracing a path that made you arch your back, seeking more of him. His mouth was like fire against your skin, a searing heat that contrasted with the trembling that ran through your limbs. Each kiss of his was a mark of possession, as if he wanted to claim every part of you, but at the same time an act of Adoration, laden with reverent desire.

Your hands left his chest to run down his back, your nails barely grazing his bare skin, causing him to shudder a little, drawing a low growl from his lips. His reactions, so raw and genuine, fueled the frenzy that burned between the two of you, leading you to lose yourself even more in that moment.

Heeseung lifted his head, his dark, lust-filled eyes meeting yours, which shone with a mix of longing and vulnerability. His breathing, heavy and ragged, barely allowed him to utter his next words. As much pleasure as you both felt, Heeseung knew he needed your consent. He didn’t want to take anything for granted.

— Will you grant me this night? — he asked in a hoarse voice, desire permeating every syllable. His gaze lowered to your swollen lips, then back to your eyes, searching in them for the answer he so craved. You could tell how needy he was, the internal struggle to maintain his sanity evidenced by the turgidity of his erect member beneath his leather pants. — I don't want this to be just an impulse, I want it to be our moment.

— Honestly, I don't know what you're waiting for to tear this robe off my body and take me once and for all. — you reproached him, your tone suggestive and defiant, each word a whisper full of promise.

You loosened the knot, but left the garment barely closed, as if you wanted to prolong his torment a little longer. His gaze lowered to the small space that opened in the fabric, revealing the softness of your skin, and his jaw tensed. Seeing the flash of desire in your eyes, he lowered his face to capture your lips in a shorter kiss this time, creating a path that would explore every inch of your body, opening the robe further in the process.

His lips left a chaste kiss on your chest, before he pulled away, taking a moment to admire the naked splendor before him.

— I have no words to explain how much I love what I’m looking at right now. My baby is beautiful, so, so fucking beautiful. — he murmured huskily, his words laden with adoration. Then, leaning forward, he began to sprinkle kisses over your bare skin, each contact of his lips sending a shiver that raised goosebumps across your skin.

His mouth moved in a deliberate rhythm, leaving a trail of heat from the curve of your collarbone to your ribs. He continued down with devotion, stopping at your thighs. His warm breath contrasted with the coolness of the room, and the brush of his lips over the smoothness of your skin made you arch your back slightly.

When he reached your knee, he planted a deeper kiss, as if to mark the moment, before repeating his action on the other leg. But just as his mouth began to approach the heat pooling between your thighs, you stopped him, squeezing his face between your legs. Your thighs instinctively closed around his head, trapping him in a gesture that was both one of vulnerability and power.

Heeseung's reaction was immediate; a low, guttural growl escaped his throat. He couldn't hide how much he enjoyed that contact. The pressure of your thick thighs against his face seemed to unleash something wild inside him, an overwhelming satisfaction that was reflected in the dark glint of his eyes.

— Wait, Lee Heeseung, where's my confidentiality agreement? — you teased disdainfully, momentarily breaking the tension with a bit of humor.

He closed his eyes and let out a light laugh, the vibration of his chest resonating against your legs. The joke wasn't new; you'd mentioned it before, but he hadn't expected you to bring it up at that moment. However, he seemed to love that even in the midst of passion you maintained that playful spark that fascinated him so much.

When he opened his eyes, he did so slowly, as if he wanted to make sure you caught every second of his gaze. From his position between your legs, he watched you intensely. His pupils, dilated with desire, seemed to devour you, and the mischievous curve of his smile was as confident as it was dangerous.

— Why would I make you sign that shit if this won’t be the only time I have you like this? — he replied rhetorically while his voice took on a serious and almost mocking tone. The arrogance in his expression disarmed you, but it also ignited something inside you.

Without warning, Heeseung slid his large, warm hands over your thighs, holding them firmly. His fingers pressed against your skin with a mix of possessiveness and tenderness, sending a wave of heat straight to your belly. Slowly, he opened your legs, creating a space that seemed insufficient for the desperation that was drawn on his features.

The moisture between your legs seemed to invite him, and his face was at the exact level, so close that you could feel his breath caressing your skin. His lips delicately brushed the most intimate area of your body, but he didn’t move immediately. Instead, his eyes searched yours, waiting, connecting, as if he needed to make sure you were with him on every level: physical, emotional, and beyond.

From your position, you watch as he licks his lips eagerly, a provocative dance that awakens every fiber of your being. You move a little closer, and close your eyes, letting the anticipation envelop you, yearning for that contact that seems like a distant whisper. However, instead of what you wanted, his lips slide down to the inside of your left thigh. Surprise and a slight flash of annoyance lead you to tap your fingers against his forehead, but he only laughs, a sound full of complicity that lights the fire inside you even more.

— Stop torturing me, you don’t know how much I need you right now. — you whimper, giving him a reproachful look as your mouth turns into a small pout, a mix of helplessness and desire.

But Heeseung, far from taking pity, takes his time, enjoying every moment. His lips alternate kisses between the soft skin of both thighs, a game that heightens your frustration. Just when you think he will finally give in to your pleas, he stops, leaving a kiss on your mound of venery before dropping down beside you on the bed.

You turn to him, confusion and disappointment reflected on your face, while he remains serene, staring at the ceiling as if he were not the architect of your longing. The need to reproach him for his actions bubbles up inside you, but before you can articulate a word, he makes a gesture with his hand, pointing to his face.

— Baby, don’t just stand there doing nothing. Come and sit on my face. I long to eat you in that position. — he orders you with a voice full of raw desire, a mix of authority and lust that makes every corner of your body vibrate.

You don't need him to repeat it. In an instinctive movement, you stand up and let the bathrobe fall, the cool air brushing against your bare skin. Your body reacts to the contrast, your nipples hardening as your breathing quickens. You know what's coming and the anticipation is already raging inside you.

With a determination you barely recognize as your own, you approach him. His eyes, dark and bright, follow each step you take, devouring you with their gaze, and you feel his desire pierce the space between you. You climb astride his body, your knees sinking into the mattress on either side of his torso. The fabric of his pants brushes against your wet lips, and the contact sends shivers down your spine. His erection, hard and prominent, presses against your center with a delicious insistence, drawing a low, guttural gasp from your mouth.

That sound, that sign of how much he wants you, becomes an incentive for you. Slowly, you begin to rub against him, seeking that friction that further ignites the fire already burning in your belly. His hands move up your thighs, his long, firm fingers leaving a trail of heat that makes your legs shiver.

— Fuck... You have no idea how much I love you. — he growls, his voice barely a whisper muffled by arousal.

Your movements become more desperate, your hips undulating against him in a rhythmic dance that steals your breath. But his urgency overwhelms yours. In one determined move, his hands move up to your hips, holding you firmly and guiding you towards his face. Your breath hitches as you feel the warmth of his breath caressing your most sensitive skin.

You carefully settle yourself over his mouth, but he’s not about to wait. His arms wrap around you tightly, his fingers digging into your thighs with an almost primal need. He opens you wider, making sure every part of you is exposed to him, vulnerable and within reach of his tongue.

The first contact is an electric shock that makes you arch your back and moan, your hands instinctively seeking support on the headboard of the bed. His tongue slides with precision, tracing slow, deep circles before zeroing in on the exact spot that makes you shudder. His technique is a mix of mastery and desperation, as if he can’t get enough of you.

— You’re so good to me. — you sigh, your voice cracking under the weight of ecstasy.

Every movement of his brings you closer to the edge. The way his tongue alternates between gentle caresses and intense thrusts makes you lose any trace of control. His hands don’t stay still; his fingers run over your hips, moving down to caress your buttocks, squeezing them hard to force you to move more rhythmically on his mouth.

Your moans fill the room, mixing with the wet, obscene sounds of his mouth working tirelessly on you. Your body shakes, your thighs trembling as the pleasure builds in ever more intense spirals.

He doesn’t stop. With every moan you let out, his movements become more fervent, more demanding. You can feel the pride emanating from him, the delight in your every reaction. He watches you from below, his eyes darkened with lust, enjoying the sight of your face contorting in ecstasy.

— You’re mine… All mine, baby. — he whispers against your pussy before sucking you with an intensity that leaves you breathless, a bolt of pure pleasure coursing through every nerve in your body.

Your breathing is a mess; words aren’t enough to express what you’re feeling at that moment. You grip the headboard tighter, your hips moving on instinct, seeking to prolong those sensations that have you on the brink of madness.

— Hee, I’m close. — you whimper desperately, at the same time as you begin to move around in search of more friction. Just as you’re about to come undone in his mouth, a knock on your door brings you both out of the moment.

Both you and he freeze, not knowing exactly what to do, as your minds remained clouded and it was difficult for you to process quickly. Another knock sounds, but this time more insistently.

— Has she fallen asleep already? — you heard someone question from outside and you immediately recognize that voice as Sunoo's.

— It's possible, but I don't think so. Let me call her to check. — the other voice that resonates you also recognize instantly, it was Jungwon. Instantly a call comes into your cell phone, that's when you finally react and get off Hee's body.

You take the robe and cover your body again. You help Heeseung get out of bed and quickly lead them to the bathroom, you leave him locked in there. You arrange the robe and your hair well, then finally open the door.

— Wonie! — you exclaim happily but nervously as soon as you see the boy in front of you. Yang smiles in response.

— I'm here too. — Sunoo points out indignantly at being overlooked because of Jungwon's presence.

— Yeah, hello to you too — you greet in an effort to get out of the way, causing Sunoo to look at you with contempt. Jungwon and you laugh at Kim's expression. — What brings you here? — you ask, continuing a normal conversation.

— We brought a surprise for you. — Won answers and simultaneously he and Sunoo step aside, revealing the female presence that accompanied them.

— Surprise! — the young actress sings, doing jazz hands and smiling widely.

You wanted to throw yourself at her, because the truth is that you hadn't been able to see her for a while either. However, the memory of you working overtime made the love fade away and instead you did the bitter thing of closing the door in her face. However, three hands push, preventing you from completing your action.

— Why aren't you with Jaeyun? — your question wasn't meant to be mean, it was simply the first thing you managed to ask. The actress's face twisted into a grimace of discontent, as she hoped that her presence would really excite you.

— Why do you say it as if I couldn't be away from him? — she counterattacked, somewhat offended.

— Because that's actually how it is — Sunoo confirmed, earning a punch on the arm from the other girl. They both looked at each other in disgust after that. — And do you intend to leave us standing here all night? — Sunoo reproaches you and you do nothing but roll your eyes.

— Don't you have your own rooms? — you reply, crossing your arms and looking at him mockingly, provoking the other girl. At that moment Jungwon had to intervene before the worst happened.

— Come on, let's all hang out together! Look, I bought these snacks and sweets that you might like — you appreciated her intervention and her innate ability to persuade you with food. — Also, she hired a skincare service and the person should be arriving soon.

— Okay, let's all hang out together. But let me inform you that I will not be lending my room for this sleepover attempt — you notice how the expressions of Sunoo and Jaeyun's girlfriend go from excitement to disappointment in just a second, and yes, it was because of your refusal in the end. They were already making themselves comfortable in your bed that undoubtedly had to be well-ordered... according to them.

— But why not?! — the two aforementioned complain in unison.

— I don't have enough energy to have to clean everything after you leave here, in fact, I was about to get dressed and go to sleep and you interrupted me. — you had to lie for the sake of the boy who was still locked in your bathroom.

— Okay, I guess we'll take my room since Won and Jongseong's room is occupied by the latter, Jaeyun and Riki watching a soccer game. In Sunoo's room is Hoon doing FaceTime with his little sun and you don't want to lend yours. We have no other option. — the actress admits. — Go get dressed, we'll be waiting for you over there, it's number 23. Please don't take too long — and without further ado, the three of you prepare to leave.

You're about to close and enter your room but a doubt invades you and that's why you make them stop halfway down the hallway.

— How did you know my room number? — the truth is you didn't remember having exposed your location to someone else.

— Oh that, your boyfriend spilled the beans on Won and he told us. — Sunoo clarified causing you to give yourself a mental blow.

Without making any noise, you entered your room again, got dressed in silence, and then left to meet up with your friends.

And Heeseung? Well, he had to reflect on his actions, since they were practically interrupted because of him.

— I do not allow copies or translations! This content was originally created in Spanish and published on Wattpad.

[rrezshifts]

𝓼𝙝𝙞𝖋𝙩𝙞n𝙜 𝙚x𝙚𝙧𝙘i𝙨𝙚

ꜱɪɴɢᴇʀ ʀᴇᴀʟɪᴛʏ

this is a shifting exercise by zaddizu. i’m doing this because i wanted to post something, but my brain is being weird and won’t let me do shit, especially anything creative. read more about my singer reality for a bit more context for this post.

my name is theodore solano.

my favorite food would probably be greek or italian cuisine. but like fast food wise? i love nearly any place with good chicken tenders and fries 😫🙏

if i could choose one movie to watch for the rest of my life, i’d choose pitch perfect. which is kinda crazy, even i can admit. but that movie was a staple of my childhood and what made me fall in love with singing at a young age, and i’ve never gotten tired of it.

my birthday is august 14, 1998

a song that will always have a place in my heart… probably dark days by PUP. they’re not a too well known band. but i’ve loved them for 7-8 years now, and that song is so optimistic.

my favorite color is… probably green? but i love blue too. i genuinely don’t know. green is the gayest color though, as i’ve heard, so i feel that adequately describes my soul 😭😭

the most important thing to me is probably my spirituality and religion. it helps me keep track of my self care and keeps my responsibilities on track for some reason. but i also just find that part of my life very important to me.

favorite memory? you’re asking someone with shit fucking memory of recent events… good lord. umm probably one of my first shows. i was always hella fucking nervous but everyone who was there was so excited to see me and that was just really endearing.

least favorite memory would probably be literally any of my break ups. and then after those break ups, any memories of my ex-partners 😭 that’s an over exaggeration i suppose, because i’m on good-ish terms with some of my exs.

someone i dislike? my best friends exes!

in a crowded room, i would look for my best friend, yoloxochitl first fs! we’ve been friends since middle school, and she’s been a pivotal part of my success in the music industry 🙏

best music genre is HARD to answer bro… ummm, see i sing mainly indie and shit but listening wise i love rap, mainly rage rap. but i also still love alternative and indie as well. i don’t think i could choose just one as the best because of how different certain artists can be under each genre too.

a topic i’d defend with my life would probably be pineapple belongs on pizza, and no one can say “fruit doesn’t belong on pizza” when the tomato sauce is right there!

a character i relate to would definitely be wallace wells from scott pilgrim vs the world . . . bc gay ✊😫

i have so much shit in my room that of course it’s messy. i’ll organize the mess though, so it’s in the eye of the beholder lolol

god no. i am not funny. i wish i was funny. but gun to my head, am i? nooopeee!!

if i had to choose between a fruit platter and a candy platter, i would choose fruit. as long as it’s fresh fruit and not like the cheap platter from the grocery store.

between sugar, sour, or spice i would say sugar. neither of the three is my ideal flavor profile though. i loooove savory foods so much. but for these options it’s just the process of elimination, so sugar.

my aesthetic is any men’s style that looks good to me. i’ve had so many years where i either had no style or had to wear women’s style, so like anything i can afford enough to look good i will. definitely will say it’s more of a basic aesthetic though.

my hogwarts house is gryffindor fs

and i’m an ambivert.

best school subject was english, was a struggle when we got to older literature though in high school.

if i’m sad someone could find me in either my room or my living room. i live alone so anywhere in my apartment i’ll probably be. i try to hang out with friends when i’m sad too, but there’s no constant location and it’s not a guaranteed occurrence.

who am i? i am a indie music artist? idk, i don’t like this question

someone who’s music i don’t enjoy would probably be taylor swift. the instrumental can be good, but her voice is just not for me.

i have not had a near death experience, and i would love to never have one 😭🙏

who was my first love? it was a friend who i gained a crush on, and then they moved away, and i kinda just have that lingering love for them. i kinda do regret it, nothing happened, but like i wish i didn’t still feel this way about them… if that makes sense.

has there been someone famous i didn’t like? yes! a lot of people. some because they’re terrible people, others because we don’t mesh well. it happens, that’s all i’ll say.

i do enjoy my fanbase! they’re very respectful and also bring the right energy to my performances. i appreciate their adoration for me.

i’m famous for certain songs that went viral, and i hope also for being a good singer and musician.

least favorite interview was probably genius because i felt so stupid doing it, i’m not gonna lie. but like it helped push my songs out there a bit i suppose. there was also an interview where the interviewer got too brave and tried asking a question i didn’t appreciate. but overall that interview was fine outside of that.

a song i made that is my favorite out of all of them is very hard to choose. but i love the ones i got to collaborate with people on, especially my friend yolo who has helped produce a number of my songs but also people i’ve got to sing with. it’s very fun to get to work with people like that.

i’m honestly not feeling this reality anymore because i fear the parasocial like relationship i’m forming on bbno$ and it scares me and now i’m just a lil uncomfortable with this reality existing. but i wrote this like a week ago and haven’t gotten around to posting it

─── ⋆⋅ ♰ ⋅⋆ ───

─── ⋆⋅ ♰ ⋅⋆ ───

[kwamiwayzz]

Convenient Contract

Sometimes when I think about Jecka and Nicole both moving away from their hometown, and towards LA, they think their lives would somewhat automatically be better now that they’re away from all the stuff that held them down.

For Jecka, she no longer has to face the looming threat of getting beaten by her dad every other day. She’s out of that house, out of Virginia. She’s graduated high school, and far away from the shallow social circles that she forced herself to be in to avoid being alone. The only friends she considers are real enough to her are Nicole and (probably) Emily. College is the next step now, Jecka just needs to focus on securing a good future for herself. And she can do it without her family’s financial help. They just saw her as nothing but an asset, anyway. Something to prop up their image of the wealthy, white, suburban family that happens to donate to charity from time to time. But she doesn’t want that. She fucking hated it. She has no idea what she’ll be doing in college, or what career she’ll be going for. But at least she’s far away from the things that suffocated her.

For Nicole, she’s not living with her mom and brother anymore. That’s already a major upgrade. There’s also the bonus that she can live rent free with Jecka as she’s going to school in LA. Jecka was just meant to be a temporary person. A friendship of convenience for her to last through high school, After that, the contract was over. Or at least it was supposed to be over after graduation. Nicole was surprised to hear of Jecka’s request to come with her. She thought she was high when she came up to her that day, asking if she would want to live with her in a brand new state, free of charge. But in way, this is probably just an extension of that friendship of convenience contract. Jecka doesn't want to be alone, and who else would be a better option to come with her, than her proclaimed best friend?

Once Jecka graduates college, she won’t need Nicole around anymore. That’s what Nicole keeps telling herself. It’s why she’s never sober when they happen to have nights where they’re spilling their guts out about their respective traumas. She doesn’t even know how it gets to that point, where they’re actually being…vulnerable about themselves to each other. Where they’re pouring out each other’s hearts or whatever other cliche statement there is to describe that experience.

During one of those nights, Jecka finds out the full story of Nicole’s dad. How he blamed her for his suicide. How she was the first to find him when she tried to seek refuge at his house. Pieces would start to fall into place for Jecka, and fully made her understand why Nicole is the way she is. She knows it’s not healthy, but in Jecka’s mind, sometimes all she can think about is how she can save Nicole. Or at least try to make her not want to off herself again.

Oh yeah. Jecka forgot to mention to Nicole that she was the first to find her trying to hang herself in her room on that one day. It doesn’t matter. Because it slips out during one of their drunk nights that she still deals with the nightmares of finding her hanging when it’s too late.

Nicole doesn’t really know what to say to that. She barely remembers much of what happened, and the events that led up to, the day she actually wanted to join wherever her dad is. Most of that memory feels like a hazy dream locked within the confines of her fucked up brain. But now it’s out in the open. Jecka was there when she tried to end it all.

At least one person cared. One person cared…

Nicole doesn’t know how to process that. So she just brushes it off with more quips and jokes, in typical Nicole fashion. Jecka just expects that. She knows Nicole won’t bear her heart out like that overnight. At least, not when she’s sober.

The years continue to pass, and the two get closer. Nicole still tries to tell herself this friendship is just for convenience. Once Jecka has her bearings from college, she’ll toss her out, and Nicole will be left to fend for herself in a state she barely knows much of.

But everything in between seems to paint a different picture of this friendship of convenience.

Sometimes, when Jecka comes back from a long day of classes, she’ll find Nicole in the bathroom, razor blade in hand, ready to make more lines that will break skin. Nicole expects to get a scolding from her. She’s heard it all before. The fake cries of sympathy from her mom. The pitied looks from her classmates whenever they see her scars. Jecka always knew they were there, but she never actually saw her doing the act itself in real time. But instead of getting a scolding, Jecka just sits with her, and lets her do her thing. Once Nicole finishes, Jecka gets the bandages and antiseptic to help clean up the cuts and wrap them.

"Wow, maybe going for med school will be pretty useful after all," Nicole laughs.

Jecka just smiles as she continues to wrap the gauze around Nicole’s arm. It ends up becoming a routine at some point--either finding her in the bathroom bleeding all over the floor, or knocked out on the bed with pills strewn across the sheets. She tries to steer her away from all that. Outsiders think she should just leave Nicole behind.

Dump the deadweight and focus on yourself!

You don't owe anyone anything!

But Jecka doesn't want to listen to them. She knows it's a load of bullshit. But she knows she doesn't want that because it's what Nicole would want. And this is one thing from her best friend Jecka would actively go against.

More years pass and Jecka has graduated college, graduated med school. The blonde bitch actually did it and became a doctor. But Nicole is still around. Still living with Jecka. Still living rent free. She hasn't stopped thinking about the inevitable day where they'll have to part ways and end their contract.

"If I wanted to kick you out, I would've done it awhile ago," Jecka once told her. This was only a few days ago, yet it replays like a broken record in Nicole's brain. Jecka says one thing, but her brain says another.

Jecka might've graduated college and has a fancy doctor job, but wait until she finds a rich husband. Then that'll be the day she slowly fades from Jecka's life. That's how it always was. That's how it always is. Her mom already proved it to her time and time again.

Nicoleism. She tries to remind herself. Keep using Jecka as long as possible until the day comes. Don't share anything. Don't get attached. Don't let her seep into parts of your life.

But Nicole already knows it's too late. It's already long been too late when Jecka told her how she spilled her whole emo backstory like some tragic emo video-game/TV character.

So when Jecka is out, Nicole thinks of one thing she can do to "fix" this problem. Just make one cut, and it's all over. Nicole won't have to worry anymore about the inevitable. And Jecka? Jecka can be free from the dead weight.

When Nicole wakes up, she's in the hospital. Jecka is there, face down, with her usual smooth hair looking like a rat's nest. She's upset, furious even, but most of all, glad that her friend is still alive. Nicole doesn't know what to say. All she knows is that she fucked up in trying to off herself...again.

"You're an actual dumbass, you know that?" Jecka tells her as she tries to hold more tears from streaming.

Jecka cares, she always has. Nicole knows this. She always has. But no matter what, it won't stop the looming dread in the back of her mind from eating her alive. Trauma is a bitch. And it turns out, leaving the place and people that caused it in the first place doesn't mean it goes away. It doesn't go away no matter how much Nicole stops thinking about it.

Drugs don't make trauma disappear, it just puts a blanket over it, ready to be pulled away the moment the Percs, Vicodin, whatever, stop doing their magic.

This is a contract. The friendship is a contract. It's all Nicole knows. She hates that she thinks this way, but she'll destroy it first before everything good about it gets pulled away from her.

Jecka won't let her.

If Nicole sees their friendship as a convenience, then fine. Let her.

"Let's get married," Jecka brings up one day.

Nicole doesn't oppose. Gay marriage had been legal in America for a few years by now. And thank goodness. Finding a man that won't subject either of them to domestic violence would've been hell.

They go on a random Tuesday morning. The papers get signed, and they find the process surprisingly easy.

"So, will you change my contact name from 'hawt bitch' to 'hawt wife' then?" Nicole teases.

Jecka just laughs. Everything between them is still normal. There's no ceremony, no formal announcement to their friends, and no rings. Just each other. It's all they need.

If Nicole saw everything between them as a friendship of convenience, then why not turn it into a marriage of convenience? She knows it's not healthy. She knows Nicole is fucked up to even consider marrying someone like her. But then again, isn't Jecka the same? It's why they're together in the first place.

If turning an imaginary contract between them into an official one enough to keep Nicole alive for as long as she can, then so be it.