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obislittleone · 2 years ago

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What One Was Mine

Chapter 10

Summary: Locked away in a house her entire life, she always dreamed of exploring the nearby kingdom for just a day, believing it could make the rest of her days in solitude bearable. What she was unaware of, was the real reason she’d been hidden away for so long. Changes comes swift like a flying dagger when a thieving bounty hunter seeks solace in the old home.

Din Djarin Royalty!AU / Tangled!AU

Pairing: Din Djarin x Princess Kryze!Reader

A/n: it’s been a hot minute but guys pedro is trending again and I’m legit so happy over it (i had one or two bad experiences with new fans trying to gatekeep or whatever) i’m just so happy he’s getting more recognition tho bc THATS OUR PRECIOUS DAD

Warnings: oh boy kinda a lot… mentions of death, having beatings take place, several scenes with blood… there’s a flogging in the courtyard?? References to sexual themes. Uncomfortable situations fr… imprisonment and degradation. I think that’s it but remind me if i’m wrong.

The way you parted from your new fiancé was bittersweet. Bitter, because it was all too early, but sweet, knowing you would see him again every day after for as long as you should live. You snuck back to your room together, but went separate ways after you entered your doorframe. It hadn’t been for your lack of trying, though.

“Stay with me tonight,” you pleaded with those glazed brown eyes, his stare was always intense, but there was a softness to it when directed upon you. “I know the time when my handmaiden comes, I can wake you before then.”

He pondered it, of course he did. Grogu was in the royal nursery for the time being, and you were standing with your hands against his chest in a dim hallway while asking him to remain by your side through the night. The look in your eyes told him you wanted something more from him, something not so innocent as you were. He couldn’t in good consciousness give you what you desired until you were married. Though he’d never cared before, or even heeded the tradition of waiting for intimacy till marriage, he knew that the terms had now changed. You were a princess, and he was undeserving of you anyways. To steal away your virtue and risk a scandal that could ruin your name in the large and well known kingdom was not likely on his to-do list. He was going to do everything he possibly could to make sure that this was done right, starting now.

“Not tonight, Mesh’la,” he pulled you closer to his chest, kissing the top of your head as a sweet ending to the night. He knew his refusal might make you sad, but his use of an endearment spared your heart and only made it flutter in response. “I will see you tomorrow, as long a you save me a dance.”

“I can’t even think of dancing with someone else.”

He gently brought you away from his chest, using his finger and thumb to raise your chin, eyes meeting once more. You were tired, but your sleepy gaze fell on his and did not want to leave. He understood the feeling, but decided on being the one to bring it to an end. He thought it responsible, though it felt wrong to leave you this way.

“Until then,” he gathered your hand in his, noting the comparable size difference before kissing your knuckles. He never looked away from you, and that was your detriment. His magic would not soon wear off, for even in many years to come, as long as he looked at you like that, like you hung stars, moon, and sun in the sky, you’d always be putty in his hands.

“Goodnight, Din.”

He backed away, fading into the hallway, as you went into your room and shut the door behind you. You slid down the wooden blockade, arms wrapped around yourself and a lovestruck smile adorning your face. You were to be married to the love of your life, and spend an eternity together, going on adventures, doing good in the kingdom, and raising baby Grogu. Already you had a family that you cherished above anything in the worlds, surely nothing could ever go wrong.

Din was elated as well, but keeping light of foot to avoid any attention as he snuck through the halls and back to his assigned suite. It was best to keep all of this quiet until after your coronation ball, because hopefully things would be settled more firmly into stone then, and a consort marriage could be announced.

He was turning the corner to his door when all of a sudden he was ripped away by several pairs of arms. He struggled in their grasp, trying to break free, unsure of why this was happening, but the men who were clearly meant to detain him came prepared, giving a sharp hit to the side of his head, knocking him completely unconscious for them to drag down the hall and out of the palace, heading straight for the dungeons.

The morning awoke you with a shivering chill, but you relaxed into it, pulling the comforter closer to you as you waited for the hand maiden to come and bring you out of the big and luxurious bed. You’d never tire of the sleeping accommodations, although you you would admit, if you could give it up to spend another night on the forest floor wrapped in your hunter’s arms, you most definitely would.

You waited several more minutes, unsure of why the girl named Elise did not come on time like she normally did. You were beginning to be concerned, had something happened to her? Was she alright?

You threw off the sheets, throwing your feet over the side of the bed and standing, trying to find the dressing gown you usually wore in the morning while your hair and face were being attended to. It was a long and dull process and often you hated sitting through it, but you would have rather endured it this morning than be running around the room frantically, nerves on high end that someone you know may be hurt or something.

You had just found your dressing gown when suddenly the doors opened and in came the girl that usually helped attend to you. You heaved a deep sigh, greeting her with a smile.

“Elise, you hadn’t come at the normal time, I was worried something happened to you,” you chuckled over your words, shaking your head and realizing you had been ridiculous to jump to such conclusions so quickly.

“My apologies, your highness… the entire staff has been distracted this morning,” she paused, immediately resuming her work of helping you pull on the dressing gown. “There was a flogging in the castle courtyard, a new prisoner.”

You hated hearing about the mistreatment of the men and women in this kingdom. You’d heard much about the so called ‘prisoners’ they kept. Poor and hungry people who may only had stolen a roll of bread to survive, now to be tortured and held against their will for it. This was what you had wanted to change, and so far you were disappointed, because right now you were powerless to do anything. The king was harsh and unforgiving, and you wanted to stay on his good side in order to achieve your goals, but it was taking so long.

“Poor soul,” you mumbled softly, but she heard it, and as she ushered you to the vanity chair that you were used to by now, she explained further.

“Poor indeed. The staff say he was a guest in the castle, you may even know him,” she rambled on, and you shot up to a straight stance only just as you were taking a seat. You turned to her and gave wide eyes. “I didn’t mean to upset you, your highness. I speak too plainly.”

You were upset, but her speaking plainly was not the reason. You began breathing quickly, and tried to have a single coherent thought.

“What did this man look like?” Your expression made her believe you were angry, and partly you were, but also completely mortified and worried for another.

“He was quite tall, had darkish features. I didn’t get a good look at him,” she tried her best to respond to your question, but in all honestly she couldn’t understand why you were so concerned. Even if you knew this man, shouldn’t you know that the castle laws come first? That if a rule is broken against the king that it is punishable?

“No,” you shook your head, racing for the doors. Elise cried out for you to come back, to calm yourself and not get worked into a frenzy because it was bad for your complexion.

You were half dressed, not even, and considered wildly inappropriate to be walking the halls of the castle, much less leaving it and rushing out to the courtyard, where the king and a few advisors stood, accompanied by some guards who had just carried out a horrible act.

It seems they were all ready to leave, and the prisoner had already been taken away. It was very clear, however, there was still his blood that dripped down and covered the cobblestones of the area, leading up to the whipping post. The sight made you sick, but you persisted, lacking all sense of decorum as you stood straight behind the king, tugging on his cape and making him face you.

“What did you do?” Your question was nothing short of venomous as it dripped from your mouth, and king Gideon was genuinely terrified, if only for a moment. He knew that he had the numbers, and the manly bravado to overpower you if needed, but it didn’t stop him from having a second of fear.

“I have found an enemy of the kingdom and brought him to justice. I’m afraid your… companion is a very notorious thief, my dear. Not to worry, I will dispose of him for you. He shall hang at first light tomorrow.”

His smug smile, and the play of his words. You knew he was taunting you. He must have known about yours and Din’s secret relationship, otherwise this behavior was completely out of the blue and unlikely to occur. It was him, after all, who agreed to the presence of said thief in the castle along with Grogu. The child was well liked by everyone, and Gideon could not deny he found the little green fellow charming… but the hunter. The one who’d stolen your heart and bent down on one knee to enact what the king could only view as a proposal. He was no longer welcome in the home of royalty.

“Let him go,” your eyes were turning dark, and your fists were clenched so tight they almost shook from the pressure. What would you do if he should not concede? Your power had nearly fully restored itself to you, though not as strong as before, it certainly still had enough power to drop him where he stood. You hated the thought of killing someone, of taking a life and becoming something you always swore you were not, but if it meant your hunter’s life was spared, then so be it.

“I’m afraid I can’t. Though I only wish to make you happy, my princess, the law still stands, and he has broken it one too many times to be left alive.”

It was hypocrisy, all of it. He made it sound like a righteous deed, to lock away someone who has done many wrongs, but he was the one who pushed so many to commit acts of crime every day, just by keeping them starving in the streets. He bred crime then persecuted it to become a hero. He was a wolf stalking his prey, the innocent people of Mandalore, who never did anything to deserve his reign of tyranny.

“If you don’t do as I ask, I will-“

“You’ll what?” He stopped you mid sentence, only making your anger to grow. He kept that horrid and demeaning smile on his face at all times, never letting it dwindle, for his pride held strong. “You forget who’s kingdom this is, you forget your place.”

What could you even do to respond to that? How could you keep your dignity in challenging him without it ending so poorly that his blood may be spilt onto the courtyard stones? You would never use your powers to hurt anyone, you swore from your childhood that you may never allow yourself to fall that low, and yet, you were so angry, fuming and red in the face as you glared to the man in front of you. He was no king, he did not govern his people his respect and care, he ruled over them as if they were mud under his boots. He made them to fear him, his only attribute as a king was intimidation. He wasn’t a king, he was a prison keeper.

Your silence had dragged on far too long, and for that he assumed he had put you in your place, made you see things from the right perspective.

“That’s what I thought,” he spoke, beginning to walk past you, curving around your body and smirking as you stood firm on your feet, bare to the ground like they had almost always been before. “Mayfeld, see to it that she is readied for tonight, the ball is in her honor, after all.”

You winced at the mere mention of the occasion. Sickness spread through your stomach at only the thought that you could be made to attend such an event, and with a smile on your face, while the love of your life is in pain, and rotting away his last night on this forsaken earth in a prison cell. Your anger was still red hot, and flaming to the touch. Anyone who neared you need beware, but also, they may need to prepare for the oncoming stream of tears that was fast approaching. You forced yourself to hold them in until the king had re-entered the castle. There was no point in giving him the satisfaction.

The king’s advisor, Miggs Mayfeld, had spoken to you on a few occasions. He was a yes-man in anyone’s book, but you saw people differently than they were, and you could tell that there was a certain kindness in his eyes, hidden beneath hardened layers that no one could see straight away unless they were willing to take the time to peel said layers away. Even now, as he came to your side, he seemed conflicted. He stood a few feet away, not wanting to upset you further than you had been already. He seemed, for lack of a better word, afraid. But you had no intention of hurting him, nay anyone else.

“You should come with me,” he said it with his eyes to the ground, his head parallel to his feet. He sounded very empathetic, as if he’d grown used to the way the king had treated people, and was now just a bystander to anyone he dealt to, feeling their pain the same way he had all those year ago.

“No,” you stood firm, and though you understood he was just doing his job, he now seemed like the enemy. Doing the king’s bidding made him an extension of your foe, in spite of the fact that he seemed to dislike the king as much as you do, now. “Take me to the hunter.”

Your demand was left into the air, and Mayfeld nearly choked on his saliva at how boldly you delivered it. You clearly weren’t playing games, but he couldn’t afford to surpass his own orders for ones given by you. Even if you did outrank him, you had not been crowned a member of the royal family as of yet, making your commands null and void.

“I can’t, and I think you know that,” he didn’t beat around this bush anymore. He wasn’t going to waste his pleasantries on you, knowing you understood the maniacal situation at hand. “But I can take you to someone who can help. By no means are you to mention this to anyone. If you do, my head is on the line.”

He was speaking quite literally. A traitor to the king would be instantly dealt with, and would probably not make it till sunrise to see the thief and hunter hung at the gallows. You couldn’t tell why he was doing this, if maybe he’d just had enough of the mistreatment, or maybe he simply wanted someone to stand up to the king, either way, you knew his help would be vital.

You followed him in the direction of the far off east wing of the castle, which had been completely separated by a wall of pillars and turrets. If you remember correctly, this wing was home to a few lords and ladies of the kingdom, and sat right between the gates and the castle gardens. As you walked passed, you remembered the hour of the night before, the moonlit white roses, and sparkling daisies that sprung up from the earth. Beauty turned to anger and suffering since then, and you shook off the nasty feeling you had as you finally entered a doorway of the luxurious homestead.

The walls were ornate like the interior of the castle, though the ceilings were lower, and the decor was not as precise and detailed. It looked like some of the things you saw in the village, the building structures that have probably been standing for ages. This looked like true mandalorian culture, and you wondered if the king had changed the castle to look a certain way from perhaps being like this before he began his rule.

Mayfeld whispered to the guard in the hallway, whom looked at you suspiciously before returning his eyes to the man before him. He seemed like he was trying to make a decision, and waited a second or two before letting out a sigh and a nod. He rounded the corner to another room, and returned with a woman you were quite familiar with. She had been at every afternoon tea you were made to attend. She was the one with fiery red hair, and eyes that almost reminded you of your own, though hers were worn with years of sights she did not wish to see.

“Lady Bo Katan,” Mayfeld bowed shortly before closely approaching her and speaking lowly at a volume you could not hear. You waited patiently, and eventually, they both came forward. “She knows the hunter.”

Bo Katan, as formal as she may be, only took a once over of your attire, deeming it unnecessary to call any attention to the fact that you were only covered by a silk nightgown and a sheer dressing robe. You must have been in a hurry.

“If you wish to see him, you will have to wait till nightfall, after the celebration os over,” she told you, and you were about to protest, opening your mouth to argue before she held her hand up. “I’m not finished. You must also attend the party to seem as though you have forgotten the matter.”

“I can’t put on that dress and walk those floors knowing how he’s being kept. I don’t just want to see him, I want him to be free. I refuse to watch him die tomorrow.”

“I understand your haste, but may I offer you some wisdom?” The tilt of her head and slight narrowing of her eyes gave you a view into her mind for only a second, and you could tell she knew what she was saying. You nodded for her to continue. “The king has eyes and ears everywhere. If you ever want to see the hunter again, it will need to be done with discretion and planning. I have been in this court since King Gideon took over, and I plan to see him taken from his throne, but I cannot do so by rushing through and wreaking havoc. You understand?”

Something didn’t add up, something about her seemed off… in a familiar way.

“Why would you be willing to wait so long for something that may never happen?” Your question gave her a look of sheer confusion. Were you missing something? Had you somehow dozed off in one of the days before when they were explaining anything about everything to you?

“You really don’t know…” her voice seemed to pity you, but only for your lack of information. She turned to Mayfeld, who was partially listening by now, then back to you, still stunned. “I am Bo Katan Kryze. I’m your sister.”

No…

You weren’t eager to quickly accept this fact, as you had certainly forgotten you even had a remaining sister left alive. Satine Kryze, and the younger, Bo Katan Kryze. Your flesh and blood, never known to you until this very moment.

“You…” the words were short from your mouth, as you failed to gather them as you started to speak. You couldn’t gather a single coherent thought, and though it made sense as to why, you tried to reason with your own mind and say something. “You’re the rightful heir.”

“I was once, but I squandered my chances. I was too young to understand the consequences of my actions, and I lost the throne in a foolish match with a stranger to Mandalore. My decisions were my own, and it is because of them that Gideon is King,” she explained it to you, and you began to understand the weight and severity of this rule’s history. It was… won? How can you win the throne? “I cannot challenge him again on terms of a deal I made in my surrender.”

The air in the room was thick as her words came to an end, and she turned to the King’s advisor to make sure he knew his place, and would not spill any of this to the King to earn favor. Of course, the history of the battle was to remain a hushed topic, and everyone new this, but the one person who could oversee any punishment in the rules being broken was not present, so speak of it they would, right in front of you no doubt. You thought about it for a minute. Surely you were powerful enough to defeat Gideon in a battle. Your powers could possibly end him on sight if it was necessary. The only obstacle would be the challenge itself.

“I could challenge the King,” you spoke assuredly of yourself, earning two heads snapped with immediate haste upon hearing something they deemed so halfwitted.

“You are no warrior, believe me, the King is more spry and capable than he looks.”

You should not blame either of them for seeing you as a stupid girl, only an innocent child of which knew nothing she spoke of, and shook off their complete and utter disapproval of your idea at first.

“I am capable as well,” you told them, and with the audacity and nerve that he had, Advisor Mayfeld scoffed at you, shaking his head and placing his hands on his hips. He was not having any of your foolish notions. “I can prove it.”

You rose your hand from your side, eyes finding the perfect subject for your demonstration. There was quite an ugly looking vase that caught your vision when you were walking in. It did not match the rest of the authentic Mandalorian decor surrounding, it looked like something that would probably be kept in the main castle, along with all the other gaudy and dramatic looking objects. You lifted it high into the air, bringing it towards you while their backs were still turned, but they spun around quickly when sensing some sort of energy passing between them from you and something behind.

You didn’t get to see their looks of astonishment when they realized just exactly what you were doing, but the gasps followed by long silence was enough for you to know that they had been captivated by your show of power. You flung your wrist, sending the vase into the opposite wall across the room, the shattering sound of the glass echoed, and Mayfeld jumped slightly on impact.

“I know it’s not going to be a conventional fight, but I believe that-“ the wind was swiftly knocked out of you as you were pushed harshly against the wall by Mayfeld, a dagger to your throat as your stared at him with wide eyes.

“She’s a witch!” Mayfeld was not letting up, and though the powers bestowed upon her little sister were momentarily frightening, Bo Katan saw this act as madness, pulling him from you as fast as she could.

“You will do well to keep your hands off of her,” she demanded, and you realized now that this had been yet your second encounter with someone claiming you were a witch.

“Her powers are like that of the shadow keepers, she doesn’t belong here, in a castle,” he glared back at you, but the effect didn’t travel as far as it should have since you were still gasping for your breath. “She must be from the dark forrest.”

“That’s enough,” Bo was sick of hearing the miscreant speak any further. “You are still under my authority, or do you forget?”

His stern eyeline had finally shifted away from you and onto her, but you still felt the adrenaline of his stare weighing from when it had been firmly on your being.

“You will not speak a word of any of this to the King, or anyone else for that matter. What you have seen stays inside these walls, do you understand?”

He didn’t like the king, hated him even. He never had a problem with going behind his back before, but now? Well, this had gone farther than what he had known. The girl who claimed to be the rightful heir, but does not overtake the king for his throne, shown up after being missing and assumed dead for eighteen years, now suddenly reveals the power she has been hiding all along. It was something out of a fairytale and he could hardly believe it. Surely, the king would praise him, reward him even, for letting him in on the little secret that could pose a threat to him remaining the ruler of this kingdom…. But he didn’t care about the rewards, and he didn’t care about being praised, not by Gideon at least. You were the first real contender to dethrone him in years, and he would not pass up the opportunity to see that two-faced dictator get what he deserved, not even if it meant siding with a witch.

“I do.”

His nod and heave of a long, deep sigh meant he was not only in agreement with her commands, but he was approving of the plan to let you challenge the king.

“It’s settled, then,” Bo turned back to you, looking you up and down once again, now seeing something far different from that of when you entered her home. “Gideon will be challenged at the ball tonight, but we have to make sure nothing is out of place or suspected until then.”

You looked at your apparel, and knew instantly that it was not in your best interest to remain in this dressing gown until tonight’s event.

“I suppose I should start getting ready.”

You put on a brave face, though it was hard, and your mind kept traveling back to the plan. The very reason it was being enacted still held against his will in a prison cell amongst the other poor thieves and said ‘criminals’ in the dungeon. He was not innocent, perse, but he was not a bad man, and did not deserve to be killed at morning light like everyone was planning. You wanted so badly to sit with him, to hold him close to you and let him know that you weren’t going to stand for this, that you would save him at any cost. You wanted to take his hands in your own and convey to him all the love you held that would not so easily be diminished by simple threats.

The ball had already begun, and your ladies in waiting were surrounding you, putting the final touches onto your dress and hair, lacing your feet with the most glorious shoes that you’d rather do without. You watched out of the window, looking down at all the people arriving to the grand hall of the castle, seeming like Lords and Ladies and Dukes and Duchesses. Only those of high importance and stature, you could imagine.

“It will be time, soon,” Bo Katan was dressed very elegantly, in the classic Kryze family colors of blue and white. She came around your seat to stand in front of you, hoping to see a face of determination, but instead she found one of worry and nerve. “You won’t back out?”

You couldn’t lie, it scared you to think that in front of all these people, pouring into the ballroom right this minute, you would humiliate the King by offering a duel that could dethrone him. It was a bad move, but he was a coward, and if done in secrecy, he would decline, and have you and your hunter killed. If done in front of a multitude, with many eyes to not only hear of the duel, but to possibly see it with their own eyes? He may have been a coward, but he was far more prideful than he was filled with fear. It was risky, it was practically insane, but you would go through with it.

“I won’t, I swear it. I can’t leave him there,” you had revealed your motivation to her quite early, of course you had… and she understood. She once had a love that she would do anything for, but unfortunately death was an untimely thing, and it happened to like picking and choosing it’s victims. You though? You had the ability to play a hand against death, and you would take the opportunity every single time.

“This hunter of yours, what has he done to be imprisoned?”

“Other than being caught with me?” You spewed that part with annoyance, sure that she understood the weight of responsibility you felt for part of this. “He was the thief who stole the darksaber. I’ve heard some strange stories circulate around since I’ve lived here, but the truth of the matter is that it was in his possession for the entire duration of it being missing, or rather… mine. I would know, that’s how I met him.”

“You were his accomplice?” Her eyebrows furrowed, and she tried to stop from cracking a smile, because the sound of it was utter nonsense. You were a little ray of sunshine, a rainbow in the dark, and a silver moon amongst dark skies. You who giggled like a sweet child in the halls after tea with the king and advisors, and read fantasy books with happy endings that were unreal to life… There was no way you were in on a job with a notorious thief and hunter.

“Not precisely, no. He stumbled into my home after stealing it, and I hid it from him to make a trade. I didn’t know what it was, though it felt oddly familiar.”

“It’s apart of your bloodline, it belongs to you.” She placed a hand on your shoulder, turning you away from the window to look into the mirror. You wouldn’t deny you looked rather beautiful. You fit the role of a princess, and now you could play the part with confidence. The emerald green was adorning you so well, and you doubted there was a spot on you that was out of place. It came together so well, but there was only one person you wished to see you looking like this. Perhaps he would, by the end of the night when this all was over.

“It will be mine again, whatever the cost.”

The ball was so elegant, the decorations were stunning and the aura around the halls was nearly perfect, with lit candles near every sconce and nook there was. The beautiful dark green drapes and vines around the scene matched your dress perfectly, and though you hadn’t yet made your first appearance, everyone was having a wonderful time. All except you it would seem.

Your small band of secret alliances was hidden in the upstairs sitting room nearest to the grand staircase, which would have to be ascended any moment.

“Can you see him?” You were sat on a chair, looking to Mayfeld who had been overseeing the actions of the King as he strutted around, greeting his guests and the nobility as they entered the elaborate ballroom.

“He’s still moving, he hasn’t stopped.”

Lady Bo Katan was already in the shuffle, as she was trying to make sure there were no other intercepting forces on the ground that could possibly interfere with the plan. It would be madly simple as long as everything went correctly, and it had thus far.

You were to enter the ball, being welcomed as the Lost Princess of Mandalore. After any greetings with surrounding comers you would be expected to dance with the King as per his request. Once the King felt secure in your actions, then the switch would flip, and you would command the attention of everyone in the hall to your announcement. The challenge to the throne would be set in stone, and there would be too many witnesses for him to deny it. If all went well, the duel would take place at first light, and the hanging of your hunter would be postponed until the battle was over. You would win against the King, of that you were sure. He may have known about your powers, but not to the extent of what they are really capable of. The people who’d hidden you away as a baby were right to fear your power, but not because of the harm it may bring. Instead they should have ben more aware of your will to save whom you love through that power.

“When is he going to call me down?” You wondered, muttering it halfway under your breath as a thought spoken aloud.

“Now,” he said, taking two steps towards you to give you a hand up from your seat. What a contrast to his earlier behavior of slamming you against a wall in accusation. “He’s just signaled for you.”

“Now?”

Though you’d waited almost an hour, it felt too fast all of a sudden. If only you’d been focussing on calming your nerves rather than thinking about the plan, for it had been completely engraved into your mind by now, and there was no chance you would forget it.

“C’mon, your highness,” he guided you to the top of the stairs, and immediately every head was turned and gasps could be heard from below. The whispers were rowdy, yet still discrete, and the soft string music playing gave a small sense of safety when you looked out over the crowd. “Knock em’ dead.”

You pulled your shoulders back, pasting a fake smile to your face that spread across your cheeks and made you look happy to anyone who couldn’t see the pain in your eyes, for having to act this way under the circumstances being what they were. Ascending the steps was the least of your worries, and yet your heart raced over the possibility of falling. R

“The Princess Kryze has returned!” And the moment it was announced, you reached the bottom, bowing nearly to the floor in order to impress the many guests. Given the eruption of applause when you stood, you deemed your performance rather well done.

King Gideon met you in the center of the room, where a circle had formed to surround you both. His smug smile made you want to hurl out whatever contents were left in your stomach. It wouldn’t be much, considering you nearly refused to eat while thinking about the conditions Din was probably having to survive under.

“You are absolutely ravishing, my dear princess.”

“It took a while to achieve, but I’m glad my appearance is to your liking,” though it was said with as much enthusiasm as you could muster, the words held much disdain in your mind. You were truly only a trophy to him, a prize to look upon and enjoy when he means to. Had anything else never occurred, you’d still hate his being more than anything. He held nothing but darkness in his heart, and would never have been a partner worth even settling for. You’d rather spend the rest of your days as a poor town’s maiden with Din, as opposed to living a life full of luxury and riches with Gideon.

“Since you look so angelic in this splendid work of a dress, it would be a shame if the guests were unable to see it move how it was designed to,” a horrid way of asking you to dance, but you supposed you weren’t expecting anything from him at this point. You only smiled wide when he stuck his hand out to you. “Shall we?”

“Of course,” you responded, taking the outstretched appendage and allowing him to pull you closer. The discomfort ran through your veins, it was so thick and made your heart race and stomach turn. The second his hand fell to your mid back, you nearly felt ill, but kept on in knowing who all of this was for.

The music got louder, and other instruments joined in to form the smooth melody of a waltz. A dance you were expected to fail at by many of the King’s friends. He was the one who had told them so, but he knew better, now. He’d seen you dance with your thief, and you were quite the artist of movement. You flowed like a river through a forrest in the spring. Every movement was well done and meticulously thought out. You’d been practicing with Mayfeld earlier under the scrutiny of Bo Katan, and though it was helpful to rehearse some actual steps, it was much more premeditated than your midnight waltz with Din. With him it was so natural, it was so easy.

Your form was impeccable, even the onlookers thought so. You looked heavenly, quite like a dream. All an act, and it was moving along perfectly.

You had expected to finish the dance without another interaction, however, the King Gideon had other plans.

“You seem to be in a far better mood than this morning,” he said in a mocking tone. He must have felt you tense up for a moment, as his grip on you tightened.

“I suppose I was delirious from the early hours,” your lie was told poorly, and though he might have been swayed by your earlier attempts to make him believe you were in fact happy, your tone drove him to think you were only acting a part. “But you mustn’t mind my behavior.”

He chuckled, looking back at you and spinning you around once before continuing his antics.

“If we’re done playing pretend, I have a deal to offer you.”

Your eyes widened momentarily, and you had to compose yourself as to not give anything else away. This wasn’t part of the plan. He wasn’t supposed to offer you anything… but what if this deal is the difference between winning and losing a battle?

“I’m listening,” you encouraged, keeping up with the rhythm of the steady music that droned on still. You looked out to the crowd and caught Bo Katan’s face, staring on in hope that whatever you spoke of would not hinder anything.

“I believe it comes as no surprise to you that I wish to seek your hand in marriage, for both the good of the Kingdom and myself,” he spoke so assuredly. Whatever he had in mind for this so called deal wasn’t looking to be the better option so far. “But knowing what I do about yourself and the thief, I understand you would always resent me and perhaps look for ways to sabotage my rule if I simply took you as my bride.”

“Get to the point,” you spoke with no aggression, nor any emotion, as you couldn’t let it show on your face what you were feeling.

“If you shall agree to be my Queen, and unite all of Mandalore… I shall set free the prisoner Din Djarin and allow him an exile from the kingdom.”

You froze, your entire body refusing to finish the dance as it backed away from him. He in turn did the same, making it look as though the dance was over, and bowing to you. You thought quickly on your feet and did the same. The crowd again erupted into a fit of clapping and cheering, not rambunctiously, but just as the sort who have been entertained well. Unneeded to say they were well on their way to adoring the Princess Kryze, just as they always have while you were missing.

“Think about it. You have until midnight to decide,” he finished, grabbing your hand once more and placing a kiss to your knuckles before disappearing back into the crowd among his invited guests. They had all taken the dance floor by now, and you had to take several deep breaths before emerging from the scene to find your accomplices.

You spotted the lovely mane of firey hair, going straight to her and getting her attention. She turned around and saw your fearsome expression and spoke no words before pulling you by the hand to a crevice that no one could find you.

“What happened?” She rushed out. Looking over you, every limb shaking like a leaf yet nearly sweating profusely, it wasn’t hard to tell something went wrong.

“He offered me a deal.”

“No, whatever it is, you cannot accept,” she cut off any other words you may have about the matter, as apparently the contents of said deal were of no priority. “Anything he has to offer you will soon be yours anyway.”

“He offered Din’s freedom in exchange for my hand,” you told her, and she felt she needed to slow down and assess more of this interaction before making anymore rash decisions on your behalf. “If I challenge him tonight, he still has the authority to kill Din by sunrise. If I take the deal, I can challenge him once I know my hunter is safe.”

It was risky. The plan as it were had no flaws in Bo Katan’s eyes. All she wanted to see was the King Gideon slain and his rule to end… but she knew how love could complicate things. To you, the life of a thief was more important than the details of overthrowing the King. She once knew love like that, and it had been lost. Though bitter in her feelings over the subject, she couldn’t stop you from saving the one you love, because she wishes she could have done the same if she had been given that chance.

“You’re sure you want to do this? You know what it will cost you if anything goes wrong?”

“I want him safe, I don’t care what it costs me,” you assured her. With a heavy sigh, she nodded, understanding your fervor for protecting that which is close to you.

“Alright,” she agreed, but stopped you from turning and leaving just yet. “Do not let the King know of your decision until we’ve made new plans. Find a way to meet me out in the gardens, make sure no one sees you leave.”

“Are you going to tell Mayfeld?”

“I will, but for now, just do as I’ve said.”

And with that she was off, vanishing into the pool of bodies that was the dance floor. She was not one or dancing, or anything romantic like that, but she would admit it often gave a good distraction to those she did not want aware of her schemes.

You had found a way to sneak through a hall, and around to a hidden staircase that was usually only used for staff. There, you made your way to your room, and once you felt you could let your guard down, you finally let go of the deep breath you’d been holding. You wrapped a thick black cloak oar your shoulders, making sure the hood was flipped up before you left the room. There was no one in the upper rooms right now as it were, for the entirety of the castle’s population could be found in the ballroom.

It was much easier to get to the courtyard in the disguise you donned, as the black fabric made you near invisible to the guards watching from the towers. You crossed the rough gravel into the gardens, hidden now by the large trees and voluminous plant life around you. You only waited for about two minutes before Bo Katan and Mayfeld snuck into the shadows along with you. All the under cover activity should have felt exciting to you, as it was new and daring… but there was too much on the line. A life you could not afford to lose hung in the balance.

“What’s the plan?” You whispered to Bo, but she held her hand out. Your eagerness was sometimes your downfall, but it was a lucky thing you didn’t have to depend on yourself in this mess.

“Come with us,” she said in a hushed tone, but still commanding enough for you not to question where you were about to follow them to.

Mayfeld held a set of keys upon his belt that you didn’t recognize from earlier, and since you were still on the subject of accepting Gideon’s proposal, your mind did not put the pieces together as to what your mystery destination might be.

When you entered the cavernous looking establishment, the smell of old moss and water build up were rather strong, and you wondered what kind of place this might be that it could be infested with the things it was scented with.

Mayfeld lit a lantern on the wall once you were far enough inside not to be seen. It was only now that you saw your surroundings. You were in the castle dungeon. The other inmates looked to be fast asleep by now, some lounging on top of one another is a haze of exhaustion. You passed by a cell that held two familiar faces, though they were also unconscious in the corner of the area. Ran and Xi’an, Din’s old partners, the ones who tried to betray him and take you. Serves them right for ending up where they were.

You followed Mayfeld to the end of the row, where a rough wooden blockading door stood closed. Mayfeld took the keys from his belt and unlocked the door, entering first and holding his hand out for you both to wait. You understood who was inside, and you wanted nothing more than to go in, but for the sake of any plans that would be hatched, you remained standing as you were.

Mayfeld emerged from the room with a solemn look on his face, but he nodded to you anyways, and stepped aside.

You wasted no time in trampling over your skirt layers to get through the doorway. You could barely see by the lantern light from the hallway, but you felt around until you collided with a familiar body.

“Din?” You reached out and placed a hand on his chest, feeling the tattered shirt beneath your fingertips. He took you in his arms in a moment, hugging you close to his body and tucking himself around your form like a sheet to a mattress.

“It’s me, mesh’la.”

You nearly cried, just feeling him around you gave you an overwhelming sense of peace that you hadn’t possessed for the entirety of the day until now.

You tried snaking your arms around to his back, but his harsh wince along with a jolt of his body away made you uneasy again. You barely found his face in the dark, seeing those dark brown irises staring you down under the soft orange glow.

“What have they done to you?” Your tear filled eyes were about to overflow. What horrible treatment had he endured while you were embraced with luxuries the whole day through?

“Nothing I can’t handle,” he tried to calm your worries over him, for they were trivial in comparison to his worries over you. The king could break every bone in his body, make him writhe in pain and peel the skin from his bones and he would endure it all with a sly look upon his face… but if anyone dared touch you or the child, he became a danger to all forces opposed.

“I can help,” you pleaded with furrowed brows and teary eyes. You hand’t yet tested this aspect of your powers since the incident, but you’d like to bet the need for his healing would be enough motivation to instantly muster your strength again.

You reached for the bottom of his shirt and pulled it off with his help, feeling the torn edges from when he’d been tossed around and likely beaten senseless. It was the first time you’d seen his bare skin like this before, and given that the light continued to get brighter the longer your eyes adjusted, you could see the expanse of his broad chest and torso in it’s entirety. You blinked twice to refocus and snap back to reality, seeing over his shoulder the red lines of broken skin.

Coming closer to him again, you wrapped your arms around his body gently, placing your palms on his back. His wince was the last bit of incentive you needed to concentrate your energy on healing him. He sunk into your hold, reciprocating it while he felt the warm spread of your powers beginning to take his pain away. This was perhaps the worst wound you had ever healed, and it was going to take a toll on you physically, but you pushed that thought to the back of your mind. You would do whatever it took to bear his pain for him, especially since he carried it because of you in the first place. Your knees grew weak, and he had to catch you before you fell to the ground. He held you steady, whispering his thanks in your ear until you were able to stand on your own.

“I hate to interrupt, but we’re running out of time,” Mayfeld came through the doorway again, a full lit torch in his hand to shine more light on the scene. Once Bo entered the cell, all were now congregated, and the planning could commence. “I suspect the King has already noticed your absence, it won’t be long before he’s unable to find us as well.”

“She’s come to tell you something, hunter,” Bo gestured to you and him, barely broken apart since they both came into the room. She wanted the plan to resume as they originally hoped it would, and she had a feeling it might, if the man they came to see had anything to say about it.

“Come to tell me what?” He looked to you with confusion, surely you hadn’t found him a way out so fast. Tonight was the night of the grand ball, and if your appearance was any indication, you’d been attending until now.

You didn’t want to tell him, because it would be too hard to actually say goodbye. You’d much rather had just accepted the deal and let him go knowing you saved him. Now, he stood before you, looking so deeply into your eyes you could cry. How were you supposed to send him away knowing you’d never get to see those eyes again.

“The king has offered me a deal,” you tried to avoid his stare as you prepared to let him in on the contents. “The terms being that, if I marry him, you go free.”

His expression dropped, and he shook his head rapidly a took another step closer to you.

“No, you can’t do this,” he protested, and you wanted to interject, but he was far from done speaking. He took your face in his hands, ensuring that you were truly listening to every word. “I would rather die tomorrow knowing you had the freedom to leave than live, and always know you’d have signed yourself away for my sake.”

Bo Katan wanted you to listen to him, to understand that he hated the terms and wouldn’t want you to go through with it. She needed you to know there were no other options.

“Din, you’d be safe. I can’t let you die.”

His heart broke when your voice did, the last of your words falling off into a sad whisper that matched the tears in your eyes.

“I love you,” he said, touching his forehead to yours for a moment and then looking to Bo Katan, whom stood behind you in waiting for the interaction to close. “And I can’t let you do this.”

“What do you suggest she does?” Bo hoped that his answer could coincide with the plan, but even if it didn’t, she was happy to know that his reaction to the news had been what she was anticipating.

He took a deep breath in and focused again on your features, the way they were softly lit by the fire light. They had painted your face like they’d been doing for weeks, but with the softer elements and colors to match your aura for the evening, he couldn’t help but admit you were enchanting. His beautiful girl, the one he’d done all of this for in the first place. No doubt about it, you were the cause for the mess… but he’d do it over and again, one hundred times.

“Run.” It was said with a lonesome sadness, but he meant it. “Take the kid, and get far away from here.”

You shook your head, but he wasn’t going to stop. He only wanted you to be free, after all your years of being kept prisoner, you deserved to be uncaged. Marrying the King would only make you his slave.

“We’re out of time,” Mayfeld said, he and Bo Katan trying to usher you away from the cell. You let yourself be pulled away, seeing Din stand still in the middle of the stone floor. He didn’t want you to go, but if the King found out you were gone with his biggest conspirators, you would be in more trouble than he currently was.

Once the door was closed and locked, the three of you began to book it through the long cell block. You dropped your head to hide from them your tears, knowing that they were probably far stronger with hiding their emotions, and might think you to be weak should you expose them.

Din wouldn’t leave you even if they forced him to. There was only one other option that prevented him from being hanged. You froze in your tracks and closed your eyes, feeling the energy around you, making you gain a courage that you wouldn’t have had before. Seeing Din, in the position he was in, under the roof of the castle dungeon and skin split by violence… it angered you, it lit a flame in your spirit, a passion to do right by him whatever means necessary. More than anything, you wanted him to be free, and free by your side. He’d asked you to marry him, and you intended to keep to your word of doing so.

“Are you alright?” Bo asked, upon noticing you fell behind a few steps.

“I’m fine,” you spoke with a newfound tone, one that was straight forward and firm. It was so different from the unsure voice you’d held only moments ago.

You marched on past them and into the staff entrance of the castle. You used a window reflection to remake your appearance, to hide the fact you’d been crying and to fix the disheveled hair that had sat under your cloak, which was the next thing you ride yourself of.

You gathered your skirt, running through the marble halls and finding the ballroom to be completely full of people dancing, laughing, and having a ball. You spotted him in the crowd, King Gideon. He was talking amongst some allies until he caught your gaze from across the floor. He quickly excused himself and made a beeline to where you stood, straight and tall like a firmly planted tree.

“I had wondered where you disappeared to,” he spoke everything with a smile, whether it was genuine or fake, you didn’t care enough to know, but it was spread across his smug face nonetheless.

“I took some time to think about your offer… and I know what I have to do,” you said sincerely. He smirked, feeling as though he had won. His nod of approval meant you had him where you wanted him. “If you’d allow me to, I’d like to make the announcement myself.”

The dark chuckle he responded with sent chills down your spine, and the shiver that glided over your skin was another unwelcome reaction to the man’s devilish grin. He held his hand to the small of your back, seemingly guiding you towards the elevated platform by the stairs.

“I would love nothing more, my queen,” he raised your hand to his lips and did as he had done earlier, pressing a sloppy kiss to your knuckles. It felt dirty, to let him keep doing that.

Now standing where everyone could see, Gideon commanded the attention of the room, allowing them to face you for your announcement of what he presumed to be your engagement to him. The man was too prideful for his own good, which is why this plan would work so perfectly.

“As the princess of Mandalore, I’d like to thank you all for celebrating with me this evening,” a few glasses were raised as if this were to be a toast in someone’s honor. You heaved a breath before continuing. “This Kingdom has known division for too long, and I believe it is up to me to change the way things have been.” Even King Gideon was pleased with your choice of words. He was almost happy to be standing beside you while making this announcement, but he was about to turn a one eighty in only a moment. “The time has come for Mandalore to begin a new chapter, under a new rule.”

The applause was loud, and the King was impressed, but the final words had not yet been spoken…

“I hereby challenge the faux King Gideon to a duel,” and right then, the gasps of the crowd were all around. The audience had been involved. There were too many witnesses for him to refuse, too many to simply kill you behind closed doors. He froze in place beside you, unsure what to do or where to go. “As per tradition of this nation, the battle will be to the death, and the victor will claim the throne of Mandalore once and for all.”

Your speech was spoken at a volume you’d never dared to speak before. This confidence running through your veins was not yet done, and with it you turned to face Gideon, a smirk on your face now, and a fearsome look on his. Oh, how the tables have turned.

“I shall see you at dawn, my king.”

The mockery was lear in your voice, but he had nothing to say in response. As a last stitch effort to make a fool out of him, you bowed low to the ground in his honor. You turned and left up the stairway, and that was the last he’d seen of you for the night.

Tags: @i-ameri-cant @littlemisspascal @fanfics-toread @icanbeyourjedi@castleallherown @mysticalgalaxysalad @princess-prettyy @67impalagirl13 @agingerindenial @childrenofthewatch@insomniac-nerd-posts-things @marjoherbo @juletheghoul-main@tiredbuthappy @themand0lorian @janebby @goldielocks2004@yuiopiklmn @oh-no-who-am-i @appleejuice @luxmundee @belovedadam @seninjakitey @harriedandharassed

#din djarin #din djarin x princess!reader #din djarin x jedi!reader #din djarin x reader #din djarin smut #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal #the mandalorian x reader #the mandalorian au #din djarin royalty!au #the mandalorian

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terrence-silver · 1 year ago

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Terry Silver taking Beloved to meet his parents?

---

-”Tell me again — how do I get them to like me, Terry? Really like me?”-

You inquire, worried, scooting closer to Terry on the backseat of the Rolls Royce headed north, out to the country, on a long drive from Beverly Hills, LA, to seemingly nowhere, until you felt like you were trapped in the opening scene of The Shining, on a winding road expanding endlessly into the vista, obscured only by the chauffeur’s head manning the vehicle endlessly forward on what seemed like a five hour drive. Terry chuckles, from beside you, giving you a smile veiled in smoke as he set down his cigar, crushing it in the ashtray filled with residue. -”The very fact they want to see you — you think the old Methuselahs invite just anyone out here, huh?”- He cocks his head to one side, giving you a long, lingering look that offered no comfort given the situation. Yeah. But, why you? Somehow, the very fact these supposedly unbelievably rich and equally reclusive individuals wanted to meet you, of all people posed more questions than it offered answers. Truth of the matter was, it frightened you a little. You legitimately thought Terry’s parents were long since dead until he mentioned they’re very much alive and wanted — no — ordered the two of you up here. It was like receiving an invitation from the nether realm, even though you tried very hard to be, as they say, a good sport about it all. For Terry’s sake. And yours. You just couldn’t wrap your head around the idea of what type of people Terry’s parents would be. -”Last time they came down from the estate was in 1965.”- He remarks, snorting, and you realized it was meant to be a joke to portray just how exclusive this visit was, but still. You couldn’t help but comment back, almost stuttering. It was 1981 now. With some basic math involved, that meant that —

-”That’s…almost twenty years ago.”-

You manage, confused and feeling a bit lost. That couldn’t be right. Was it?

Terry gives you an unblinking look, confirming that in fact, it was.

You understood they were richer than god, probably fully retired and had no need to go out because they had an army of staff doing and procuring everything for them, but did these people simply never leave their mansion? Never? To the degree it was easy to write them off as dead? You’d almost prefer if they were simply the ordinary manner of wealthy people you saw around Los Angeles on the daily. At least that way, you probably wouldn’t feel the anxiety pushing down on your spine to the point you the shiver running up and down your back was turning into the slightest tremor of shaking. Terry’s hand is on your shoulder, caressing you there, soothing you. A proverb slips across his lips like an antidote to your concerns and you sigh, melting into his touch. -”Action expresses priorities.”- Terry coos. You nod, trying to reassure yourself, staring ahead, towards the highway, telling yourself that maybe Terry’s family didn’t like socializing with just anyone merely for the sake of socializing. Maybe they liked being very specific. Yeah, specific. That they hand picked their company very exactly precisely because they could afford to be picky and to gatekeep. Perhaps you’d do the same if you had as much money as they did. Or maybe it was merely the fact that you felt the pressure of the whole world on your shoulders due to the fact that you were picked by them when they’re so exclusive and worry washes over you once more with the ever lingering question; What if I can’t impress them? Terry’s words come slithering back into your headspace like a shadow.

They don’t invite just anyone out here.

So, what on earth did he tell them about you?

For them to issue an invitation your way in the first place?

Terry smiles, all full lips and certainty and you feel the road ahead drift into the skyline.

The estate the car pulls up in front of is massive — with something positively old world to its style of architecture and if you didn’t know any better, you’d imagine you just stepped out in front of some manor in the south of France somewhere, its size undoubtedly rivaling that of Terry’s Mayan temple of a mansion back in Los Angeles, perhaps the only difference being is that Terry’s adobe overlooked everything, standing there, atop of Beverly Hills like the crown jewel of the city itself. This place stood alone, with nothing around it for miles and miles except tracts of wood, land and lawns. A massive iron gate encircling all of it and a fence that stretched unto infinity, the main entrance adorned with a singular decorative and rather ornate S that parts into two halves as the colossal turnstile barrier opened automatically, letting the vehicle pass through, heading towards the vast, empty grassy plateau. You sat there, looking around, through the windows, mouth slightly agape. There was nobody here, except a single figure in the distance, standing in front of the white marble steps of the behemoth of a house. -”Ma!”- Terry perks up from his seat, gripping your hand and vehemently tapping the veneer separating the chauffeur’s booth from the backseat, signaling for him to halt. Once he does, out the door it is, Terry ushering you forward, briskly, wide stride and all, towards the house. His mother? Was that his mother? Your heart starts thumping wildly. Her figure becomes clearer, all elegant lines and good posture as she extends her arms to receive him in a hug. Becomes apparent she was just as tall as him, even at what seemed like an advanced age.

You understood where he got it from now.

She smiles with immaculately white teeth once she’s done fussing him, turning her attention to you instead and she immediately reminds you of an aged, statuesque Hedi Lamar. Before you even have a chance to say anything, she already eclipses you, speaking first. So happens, her eyes were also blue. Just like his. Just as poignant and sharp. The way she gripped your wrist was just like Terry’s grip too. -”Terrence hasn’t brought anyone out here since John. But then again, we only ever ask he bring the really important ones.”- She laughs and you feel your brows perk up. Terry brought nobody here since John Kreese? When? Post-war? Years after the war? Has nobody qualified for a visit since? -”Which means, it’s safe to say you’re our in-law to be.”- She grabs both of your arms and gives them a good, affectionate squeeze, her words eliciting a doubt of laughter out of Terry. In-Law? Funny how in your gut, you thought the very opposite would happen; that they’d summon you out here to tell you how quite unworthy you were, but the acceptance doesn’t relieve any pressure. They wanted you to marry Terry? Well, you wanted to yourself, of course you did. More than anything in the world, but you never figured his parents would be quite so — what’s the word — vehement? Willing? You chuckle, awkwardly, feeling you have to say something. Anything. Finding yourself stumbling over your own tongue. -”I mean, there’s time for that. I’d love to, but there’s time.”- You shake your head, feeling bashful as you smiled, feeling your cheeks burn up with anxiety, deciding to water it all down and extinguish it with some common courtesy.

-”Lovely to meet you.”-

You manage and Terry’s mother and Terry give you a joint, matching smile, pointing towards the massive, imposing steps leading up to the house while the chauffeur parked behind you made himself busy with the vehicle. The entrance to the gothic looking structure that was the house still far enough to where it seemed that there was quite a bit of walking left to reach it. How big was this place. A man stood at the entrance, grim and as tall as a stick, smoking and smartly dressed, hair lined with silver. He seemed in a proper foul mood, even from afar. You gulp. -”You see that over there?”- She points to him, cheekily, with a discreet little finger of her long, elegant index finger, the Stepford smile never leaving her of Terry’s face. That’s about Terry’s own cue to separate from you, let go of your arm and go and greet the individual with a leisurely stride. An internal part of you almost begs not to be left alone, hoping he’d hear it.

-”That’s Terrence’s father.”-

She explains rather jovially and you feel yourself blink rapidly.

Why hasn’t he come over to say hello?

-”He’s not really vocal, you’ll excuse him. Hasn’t been since Terrence decided to up and leave for the whole Vietnam thing.”-

She adds as she entwined her arms with yours, almost as if reading the doubts etched on your face, leading you and locking you in place, walking at a relaxed slow pace. Your eyes shoot up towards the man whose face was comprised of all hard lines, joints and high cheekbones, dressed in black and as Terry stood there, greeting him, you imagined that in twenty years time, he might look like that too. Not vocal, though? What did that even mean? Did it mean he simply never forgave Terry for going off to war, leaving his family and obligations behind to the point he just…didn’t really speak anymore? Oh. The old man’s cold blue eyes meet yours for a second in the midst of Terry acknowledging him and you manage a tiny smile the well dressed, aging patriarch’s way, before looking away as quickly as possible. You really felt you were out of your depth here. -”But, I’ve been tasked to be his mouthpiece in greeting and welcoming you today. He told me to relay a special message your way.”- You perked up, meeting the eyes of Mrs. Terry Silver as you strolled together, managing a small grin. Suddenly, she halts in front of the looming house, giving you a very direct and poignant look, her roughed up, flawlessly, sharply drawn out red lips moving to speak with great distinction and emphasis.

-”You won’t sign a prenuptial because we don’t do divorce.”-

Wait? What?

Before your mind could ever process that, you’re interrupted by Terry’s cackle emanating from where he was standing with a grim looking Silver Sr. on the marble porch. What did that even mean? ‘They don’t do divorce’? You feel your legs stiffen.

-”Ma! You’re a sweetheart!”-

He chortles at her, his hands clapping at what you could only assume was a bit of dark humor, even though your gut instinct was telling you neither of them were joking, involving the non vocal senior head of the house. They really didn’t practice divorce. And they were letting you know. Long before you ever even married to the son. Terry’s mother’s arm ushers you forward, not unkindly, but with a grip that insinuated she had no intention of letting you go. The uniformed butler appears on the doorway and that’s your collective signal to move on inside, into the foyer. Mrs. Silver speaks, all charm, irregardless of how faint you felt.

-”Ah! That means the entree is ready! Come inside, please.”-

#terry silver #kk3 #cobra kai #halloween #80's terry silver #terry silver's parents #silver family #spooky #eerie #terry silver x reader #terry silver x beloved #yeah that image is from 'a cure for wellness' i know #written as per a private commission

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high-quality-assorted-chaos · 9 months ago

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tbh i never understood gatekeeping until djo started going viral on tiktok and let me tell you. i definitely Get It now. i am gatekeeping so hard

#none of you guys know djo like i know djo ok #greyposting #music #djo

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lunazera · 1 year ago

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So I was diagnosed with inattentive ADHD this week

It's something I've had a growing suspicion for over the last few years, accepting I was struggling and then noticing how I was struggling. And learning to reach out for help.

I don't think it's sunk in yet.

The diagnosis is not really important to me honestly, my experiences would be here with or without it. But it does help me now get access to help in different forms.

I've always been hesitant to openly relate to ADHD, some fear of labelling myself with something that I might not be. As if it's so wrong to question your experiences. It shouldn't be wrong, but it's been so hard to break past that with many things in my life.

It really took advocating for myself and trusting my experiences (and my partner who sees me a lot). Nobody else was going to tell me this. Most people likely don't see how much I struggle, not unless I'm open about it. And generally, I'm not open. So who would know but myself?

Seeing hate and vitriol against self-dxing made me afraid to speak about my own experiences. But I never understood it. Your experiences are yours, others cant know them unless you share. A diagnosis is an external observation, but those experiences are real with or without it. Your internal experience shouldn't be gatekept. Experiences should be listened to, first and foremost. Maybe sometimes a different diagnosis makes more sense, but the experiences of the person shouldn't be invalidated. If someone relates to something, enough to question about experiences, there's probably a reason why.

Diagnoses are often gatekept behind walls of access, especially with cost. I could only look into ADHD because it became affordable and accessible. Until recently it was not possible, wanting report cards I have no access to and report about 20 years ago from a mom I'm mostly no contact with. My childhood was very irregular and disruptive, and it seemed for a while that it was just not possible to have a diagnosis done. Glad I found another route I could afford, but I can imagine many cannot. That doesn't mean their experiences aren't real. It always comes back to trusting yourself, trusting your experiences, trusting when you relate to someone others experiences. It took me 13 years from having the thought that I was trans to come out as a transwoman. And most of that time was spent not trusting myself. Not trusting that I was relating to trans experiences, and being afraid to label myself with something unless I was absolutely certain. In the end, nobody else could tell me I was trans. I had to trust myself and what I was experiencing.

Gatekeeping only ever hurt me, made me distrust myself, invalidate and deny what I was experiencing, and silenced me from speaking or reaching out for help.

Anyways, I'll leave off with this.

I'm also suspecting some level of autism. I'll likely never pursue a diagnosis (its also very expensive), and even identifying as such is not too important to me. But, that question is there, and with or without a dx my experiences are there.

#adhd #neurodivergent #queer #transgender

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sooahlizzy · 1 year ago

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Being the new servant of the scarlet devil mansion

What would it be like to be part of the scarlet devil staff? be the servant of Remilia and Flandre? work with Sakuya and Meiling?

Meiling

To be honest, either you get along very well with her or she drives you crazy until you can't (like a certain maid)

Whatever the situation, this woman likes you

As a new servant of the mansion, the first few days she tried to surprise you by showing you her "good job as a gatekeeper"

But after 1 week she went back to doing the same thing she always does. sleep

Of course, if this happens you will always wake her up calmly

She really appreciates this, now she can wake up calm without fear of having a knife stuck in her forehead

Once you were talking about whether chinese tea was better than japanese tea, however, you did not realize that some "intruders" broke through the door and by the time you realized it was already too late

Consequence: a scolding from Sakuya

Whether you are doing your job well or decide to slack off, you will always have something to tell each other

Patchouli

You expected that she would not speak to you, and you were not so wrong, because for a while she did not speak to you

Until you entered the library

At that moment, you saw her reading some books, you had entered and she gave you a simple greeting

The books she was reading were in Esperanto so you didn't really understand much of what she was saying, however they seemed interesting, you asked her what they were about

Patiently, she'd tell you what those books were about, although to you she sounded natural, you noticed how her tone of voice was very low, and, in general, you had the impression that she seemed to be a very quiet person

Her mastery in the Wu Xung was something that caught your attention a lot in her

You asked her if she could use her fire ability to which she told you (for prevention) no

With the passage of time you understood why; her state of health was very poor, even some days you saw her very pale or coughing even when she didn't speak

That made you start giving her green leafy vegetables and other green, orange and yellow vegetables, and now the library is full of all of that

Every once in a while, you go to the bookstore to borrow a book from her (considering the true definition, not that of a certain blonde magician) or just hang out with her

Sakuya

If with Patchouli you thought you would never talk to her, with Sakuya you even thought that I would not even be able to be close to her physically

The head maid was known for being a very cold girl, concentrating a lot on her work, and being a very snobbish person in general

You had heard about her, generally mixed opinions, the "negative" ones from Meiling and other fairy servants and the positive ones, obviously, from her mistress

So the first time you met her, you didn't know how to act, technically she was your equal, however, she made you feel inferior just with her presence

Despite being the most servant servant, she did not treat you any differently, unlike Meiling, she simply gave you instructions as if you had been working for years

Seeing her work like that, you understood why Remilia assigned her as the head of the servants, she was the one who stood out the most in doing her job, in general, she was the one who took her job the most seriously

When you got to know her more and the first time you were able to interact outside of work, you realized that her "serious" personality was totally different

In fact, talking about what oxygen was or why a broken teapot didn't work was actually relaxing

From that moment you viewed her like this: Very disciplined in her work, but absurd for other things

You helped her with chores, because although at the time it seemed very rude of her, she was right; the servant fairies really helped very little. Although she told you that you don't have to do what she should do, she allows you to do it (unlike Meiling)

The times that she woke up Meiling by throwing knives at her has reduced thanks to you (and Meiling thanks you)

In her eyes, you're the only decent person in the mansion

Remilia

Your mistress, the youkai you worked for, your superior, she was someone you couldn't talk to informally

Although she tries to maintain the image of a mysterious and fearsome aristocratic vampire, her appearance and personality is very childish

With her reputation at Gensokyou, the first few days you tried to be as "perfect" as possible to make a good impression on her

And it must have worked, since every time she looked at you she just smiled giggly, approving your work

That was enough for you to secretly decrease in performance, but not to make it so obvious

The other residents of the mansion spend a lot of time catering to her whims, which include numerous parties, but you knew that inside she was dying of boredom

So, using the abilities of your spellcards, you entertained her for a while

It was funny to see how she pretended to be a very serious person, but in reality she was very silly

You did it, you had managed to become one of her favorite servants, not in performance or at the level of Sakuya, however, with a distinction among the other servants

And it was common for you to sit down to talk drinking tea served by Sakuya

Your relationship with her was quite curious. You felt like you were spending time with a little girl and at the same time a wise woman

Now you understood why Sakuya was so faithful to her

Flandre

It wasn't until several years working at the mansion that you had the chance to meet her

You had previously heard about her from Remilia and Meiling

Did the mistress have a little sister?

You didn't dare to ask the mistress, so you asked Sakuya, but she didn't answer you on that topic

So you made the decision to go to the basement to see for yourself if there really was someone in there

You hoped no one was around to do it, and you confirmed your suspicions

There was a little girl hugging a teddy bear

Seeing you, she got very excited, so much so that it caused the other residents to go see what was happening

At that moment you thought that your mistress would send you away, but she just sighed a little annoyed and told you who she was

That girl was so cute that you played with her, quite a lot

Thanks to you Flandre is not locked up for so long anymore, normally Remilia asks you to take care of her

Although sometimes she have to lock her up again because she tends to get too out of control

To Flandre, you are like her big sibling

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cyberfunsupporter · 4 months ago

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i never understood the whole “gatekeeping biases” thing (until purki but this isn’t about that LOLZ) bc i Always need people to look at y/ermseul. i am holding them out. please look at yeri look at seulgi Now or i’ll blow this whole building up

#🧸#luckily they’re r/ed v/elvet so people do look at them and love them #thank god #they are everything. i need everyone to like them #esp yeri😣#also tiny text debut #it’s nugu for now but soon it’ll chart 🩷#(<- sentences that are indecipherable)

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kisuminight · 5 months ago

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Right. So this is the one that I've been trying to avoid posting, but it's important to the AU, so--c!Tommy. Mind the tags.

For a general overview of all the minors on the server--we have c!Tubbo, c!Tommy, c!Purpled, and c!Ranboo. How much they know about Blades influences a lot of things in this AU. Purpled is c!Punz's Driver, obviously. Ranboo used to know about Blades. Now he's unaware that he even needs to ask. ew!Ranboo still remembers, obviously, and is gatekeeping the knowledge a bit.

Tommy and Tubbo, they don't know. They don't find out until Staged Finale, when Dream is revealed to be a Blade and everyone (badly) explains the system to them. Prior to the explanation, they know a little bit about Aegis Blades, and generally assume that the standards of an Aegis Blade (ie, never forgetting) can be applied to any other Blade.

Theoretically, info about Blades was supposed to be covered in school. But given that they're server-hopping at 16, they clearly haven't had regular schooling. In that case, their parents should have told them, but.... Yeah. So then it should be the adult who is technically in charge of them. That's c!Wilbur. Who grew up with a Blade for his only parent and another Blade as kind-of family and doesn't realize that normal people have to be told about Blade stuff. So yeah.

Tommy's ideology is unfortunately incompatible with Blades. It's normal server etiquette that you avoid from killing anyone when you're new on a server (for about a week), to give the local Blades time to adjust to you and identify themselves (or not). This is generally understood to be a unstated rule, one designed to prevent tragedies. Tommy doesn't know it, and probably wouldn't acknowledge it if he did.

The thing about Tommy is that he doesn't really take responsibility-- not for his actions, and not for the consequences of the actions--unless it benefits him. We can see this in one of the first streams that cc!Tommy did on the dsmp. Yes, I am aware that the roleplay hadn't started at that point, but I think it is a good example of the ideology that eventually kind of got baked into c!Tommy.

See, cc!Tommy was talking about the rules of the server. Don't grief, don't steal, and don't go to the End. Starting with the second one, don't steal, Tommy basically makes up an excuse to do this. At a later point in the stream, cc!Dream does tell cc!Tommy that the resources in the community house are communal. But before that, cc!Tommy is making up an excuses to take supplies from the chests. cc!Tommy reasons that if he fixes parts of the path that got destroyed by creepers, that is enough to take several emeralds from the chests. So he is taking responsibility of a minor/easily accomplished task as an excuse to receive a large reward.

That's fine, and people do that all the time. While c!Dream in this AU would probably find it a bit irritating, it's not an irreconcilable difference. The issue c!Dream would take is when c!Tommy doesn't take responsibility for his actions. And we can see that in the same stream, when cc!Tommy talks about griefing. cc!Tommy states that if he did arson (on Ponk's tree), it would not be considered griefing. Because he is not griefing anything. He is setting a fire, and the fire is doing the griefing.

Taking this for a c!Tommy characterization, this shows that Tommy is not going to take responsibility for his actions (the griefing) and he is not going to take responsibility for the consequences of his actions (Ponk getting upset that his lemon tree was set on fire). This type of mindset would drive c!Dream up the wall, because if you're not taking responsibility, it means you're not learning from what happened, and it means that you'll do it again (or maybe worse).

From c!Dream's perspective, c!Tommy turned up and tried to kill the people on his server for fun (he nearly killed Dream, nearly erased him from existence), tried to burn down things for fun, and eventually escalated into helping c!Wilbur start a nation for fun (which caused a war/people being hurt), burning down someone's (George, Dream's Driver, what if he was hurt) house for fun when he didn't even know if they were inside or not, and culminated, pre-exile, in Tommy deciding it was a good idea to get what he wants by threatening Dream and what he cares about directly via Spirit's leather (what if Sapnap is next what if George is next everybody I love is going to die). And even if you get him on your side, he may change his mind on a whim (why did he betray Techno? Dream would never be so stupid).

So yeah. Long term, Tommy is not very compatible with Dream or his worldview, or even the Blade System in general. And even once Tommy does know about the Blade System, that knowledge doesn't initially cause his actions and how he justifies/thinks about his actions to change.

See, another thing about Tommy, in this AU, is that he and Dream both take the philosophical question about what it means when a Blade dies in completely different ways. After all, when a Blade dies and is Reawakened, they:

Lose all (emotional) memory

Have all their achievements reset

Retain their physical skills

Retain their base personality

Looks the same

Keep the same nametag/Player ID/comm account

Can access the same enderchest as their previous life

Dream comes at this from the idea that the memory is what makes the person. Even if the base personality is the same, the fact that the Blade is in a new Resonance (even if it is with the same Driver) and is starting over with zero experience of the world makes the Blade a fundamentally different person in their new life. The previous-life Blade may look or act similar to the current-life Blade, but they are not the same person and cannot be treated as such.

Tommy, when Blades are finally explained to him during Staged Finale, would choose to say that Blades are the same person every time. The fact that a Blade can put something in an enderchest, die and Resonate with a new Driver, and open an enderchest to see the exact same dimension of the previous life shows that the universe is treating all incarnations of a Blade as the same person. And that's not even getting into the fact that a Blade will have the same base personality in each life. This is a common opinion to have for people who have never Awakened a Blade (and sometimes for people who have, but rarely).

The thing is that Tommy is basing this position off of his experiences with Dream. If he had a Blade of his own, and experienced the trauma of the Blade dying and coming back without their memories, he'd probably change his answer. But he's got bad experiences with Dream and doesn't know any other Blade, so his knee-jerk reaction is to assume that every incarnation of a Blade will always be the same (Dream will always be dangerous).

But people aren't static. Tommy does eventually mature and change and grow. This is already getting long (I'll probably do another post on it), but Tommy runs into c!Niki and Dream during Dream's Syndicate Arc. And then he has to face the consequences of his actions, featuring

a Niki that still kind of hates Tommy and has been stewing over enough things to also be sympathetic to early-server!Dream

a Dream who is pretending for all he is worth that he has lost all his memories and has no goddam clue who Tommy is or what he's screaming about

Tommy's own perception of Dream the faceless, scary warrior smashing headfirst in the Syndicate!Dream who is soft spoken, spends most of the conversations trying to hide behind Niki, is stupidly expressive, and is a healer who isn't armored or carrying a weapon

#dsmp #dsmp au #c!tommy #c!tommy critical #c!dream #DSMP Blade System AU

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mari-reads · 7 months ago

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I’ve been kinda curious on asexuality being an online kid since like 2014. I think I even said to a friend once, “I might be asexual but idk” as far back as freshman year of high school. I never had many crushes, never cared to persue anyone, only experimented in college when guys persued me, only one was sex I really enjoyed, and since lockdown have been willfully disengaged. Recently I’ve been REALLY frustrated with friends across the sexual spectrum continuing to question my own experiences of disinterest in dating and sex, prescribing me with “ girl you need some dick”, “get on the apps”, “ put yourself out there it’s good for you”, etc. etc. For the straight women in my life I understood it, they’re lost in fucking the sauce reallll bad with centering men. But I’m so disappointed with some of the queer folks who I’ve always found community in not reciprocating an understanding of a non normative experience. Now at 25 and reading this book has been such an eye opening experience.

If you question asexuality but are frustrated with the white-centric experience this book is amazing. As a Latina the dichotomy of stereotypes and pressure between hypersexuaity or marianismo is such a frustrating thing to go through. Your body and conscious is policed all your life to “prevent” you from being one of those women until your time to be a dutiful childbearer comes and everyone is like, “You good??”. There’s not space for anything else. The book references it but I’ve seen how being in spaces where allosexuality, whiteness and the Race To Innocence can and does gatekeep and push people away from their questioning and curiosity. After the first couple of chapters it was so clear, I was like duh… I’m on the ace spectrum :) in a romanticized way I think I’ve always envisioned myself and the enigma auntie who thrives in her selfhood, takes care of her community, adventures in life, and maybe take on the infrequent lover IF the need arises 🤭

(A bit of a spoiler but the section of Octavia Butler made me tear up I loved it so much, I don’t think I’ve seen such a kindred spirit to my experience 🥹)

#ace spec #asexuality #book recommendations #acearo #ace spectrum #I write stream of consciousness don’t @ me

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sneakytoons · 2 days ago

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Speaking of which I don't think I'm supposed to click as well with this man as much as I do. It must be Gods greatest joke to give a clown, a fool such as myself deprivation of him for so long until now. He's changed so much, in such a short bandwidth of time. In an..amazing way. He's my walking, loving proof that sometimes all broken people need is a little love. And I gave that to him time after time again, patience, loyalty. And when we came around to loving one another we still had things we needed to fix. So a break, and a comeback later after a while and he realizes that I was right, as much as he resented the space, and I'll be true I wasnt the kindest when I told him we needed it, but after a long talk and apology we both learned we needed it badly. And sometimes, and old part of me gets scared that he or I will always be broken. But then I also have to remember nobody is perfect, and we will always need to fix something but the beauty is we do it together, and pick up our pieces. Sometimes we pick them up on our own, without the other and sometimes we need to do it for one another cos we can't do it alone. It's pretty, in a way.

Sometimes I feel bad, because I'm healthier now. I know to communicate, to not be so down on myself, and with his help I loved myself more than I ever have before. But if i was this healthy in the past my relationships, it wouldn't have ended the way that they did, and I could've given them what I give him now. But then again. Without them I wouldn't have him, so I guess it's a "you can't have your cake and eat it too" kinda situation. I'm just glad I know what love is now, or..have a better grasp on it. I love him with a renewed sense of love I have never ever been graced with because I want him in everything and I think because I love me he can love me more. Because now that I love me, I'll let myself be me in front of him, and he..loves it. He's so honest with me. He tells me what's wrong, he doesn't hide himself and the way he sticks up for himself is something I rarely see others do, it makes me so warm. Hes so stupid and ditzy and..loving.

When my friendship fell through- well I'm still taking it rough but it's settling down a bit- but in the beginning he gave me all the space I needed with the comfort of knowing when I was ready, I could come back and he'd be with open arms. It didn't take me long. Usually I go dark for a few days but we usually talk around night and sleep together and suddenly he sends me a video he saw about losing and gaining things, and it made me almost cry a bit worse cos it was so stupid and it was some Mario thing I've still gotta watch cos it made me really sad and I told him that and this idiot says "you don't have to watch it right now, it just made me think of you" and that hurt worse because he saw something, knew I was sad, watched the video, said it made HIM tear up and sent it to me. SENT IT TO ME!! Like kys whateverrr

Usually, when someone did something nice for me, they'd keep it under wraps and I never understood that. If you watch something for me, why wouldn't you tell me? If you got me something, why are you hiding it? We could appreciate it together. But with him he's so. Open about it all. I sent him a clip from a stupid Kurtis Conner video I like and he said for me to give him the video and I say no im gatekeeping and being silly- but he watches the video, comes back to me and starts QUOTING IT WITH ME. AND NOW ITS AN INSIDE JOKE WITH US!! LIKE WAHT@@ And it never feels one sided cos that was an issue for me too, is that I couldn't get into someone else's thing cos they'd never let me in, but he sends me things in turn and we watch them for one another

ALLLL I'm saying is that for once in my life, as out of my hands as my heart was, I don't feel lost or confused. At least- not with him. Knowing that he doesn't need me for every little thing (smth we had to work on in the past) is freeing because now I know that I can have my space and not feel guilty. And even though he doesn't ever really need space from me, but is willing and accepting to let me have mine when I need it, is..smth I can't put into words..because when I'm anxious or sad all I do is think "What would he say to me?" And I'm calmn again. I've never done that with a s/o. "What would they say?" And I know what he would say, and it's a balm to my anxieties and I'm alright again.

This is long winded..I just need this off my mind wtfff...js me n my void..sits down

But he means alot to me. I feel broken right now more than ever before cos I feel I lost my other half. A half of me that was bad for me, but even now I can't fully call toxic because it never felt like she was that. I loved her to the ends of the earth and back. I always will. But I'm a dog, a mutt, with my head bowed down to the earth. A slight tug on my collar though and it's. A reminder he's right there to pet and love me, as I lay by the grave of a friendship I fought so hard to spare, to save and dig out. I'm a dog, with an owner. And it makes me feel alot less alone without her.

#inky thoughts #him⭐️

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where-the-wind-travels · 6 months ago

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adding to the list but to clarify this is literally ALL dpr ian. he just has a lot of title worthy lyrics lmao. decided to do this because i can't take all the titles for myself, no matter how much i want to, i still have way too little ideas/mind capacity for that. plus getting people into dpr ian is one of my fave pastimes

if any of these are already fic titles pls let me know!

moodswings in this order (2021) —

i love it when the skies can't sleep - so beautiful

let's take a trip down a dark place, baby - so beautiful

you don't think we don't know love - dope lovers

when you smile, she smiles (you tried to build fires) - dope lovers

tell me what's in your eyes, baby (red, green or blue) - no blueberries

i heard you seem to be happy now - nerves (unfortunately my favorite lyric from this song, "and now he's looking for something meaningless" is already a fic title 😭)

don't ever leave me alone at night - scaredy cat

i scream out loud just to see if i'm alive - scaredy cat

your head is high (so don't look so down) - welcome to the show

so can you stay a little longer? - welcome to the show

moodswings in to order (2022) —

i'm lost in the sea of lust - 1 shot

i've gotten sentimental, swimming with the devil - 1 shot

you were burning me, not setting me free - mood

bring down the sirens (i'll give you all of me) - mood

(dear diary) oh, i'm no buttercup - miss understood

do you know her? nobody loves her - miss understood

play me through the stereo - avalon

where you wanna land? - avalon

my hands are out, so take me now - avalon

night drives, session one, part two - merry go

i'm still fumbling with your memories - merry go

perfection hidden in the moonlight - ribbon

tell me why you're blushing, are we onto something? - ribbon

set my wings ablaze (cause i thought you would barely notice) - winterfall

you lit my cigarette up in the thunderstorm - calico

you're so addicted to my bad decisions - calico (i wanted to gatekeep this one SO BAD but i still haven't come up with a good fic idea for this and i probably never will)

darling, i shot myself in the foot again - mister insanity

do you see the lights pouring out my eyes? - mister insanity

how does it feel to be alive again? - ballroom extravaganza

i'm running out of things to love - sometimes i'm

dear insanity... (2023) —

forget my nightmares (that climb through your shadows) - welcome to the other side

two minutes left till midnight - welcome to the other side

i spent my nights on melting snow - don't go insane

the lights turned on (and you were just a lie) - don't go insane

take me down to the coast on sunday morning - bad cold

what, you like them struggles? - so i danced

oh, why the sad face, dear? - peanut butter & tears

soaked in glitter, never been so better - peanut butter & tears

a thousand voices shattered through the night - violet crazy

we'll dance until we say goodbye - violet crazy

Fic Titles: Song Edition

Part V

Baby you gave me bad ideas - This is the last time, The National

All of your demons will wither away - Demons, Fatboy Slim feat. Macy Gray

His love is my favourite - Kill this love, Blackpink

Three points where two lines meet - Tessellate, alt-J

Kings of imagining things - The long haul, NO

Swallow all our pride - Fairytale gone bad, Sunrise Avenue

Keep your hand in mine - So cold, Breaking Benjamin

Take this veil from off my eyes - Doin' time, Lana del Rey

Unforgiven, I'm a villain - Unforgiven, Le Sserafim

Let me sleep in your arms - In your arms, Stanfour

All of my thoughts of you - Graceless, The National

Stay cool (it's just a kiss) - Talk too much, COIN

There was nothing to fear and nothing to doubt - Pyramid Song, Radiohead

I know it's pain (but I really want it so bad) - Want so bad, Lee Know + HAN

We could leave in the morning (and go all night) - They own this town, Flora Cash

You'll be the saddest part of me - The Loneliest, Måneskin

Don't need to say goodbye - The Call, Regina Spektor

When I'm alone, I'd rather be with you - 3005, Childish Gambino

It's just me and your ghost - me & ur ghost, blackbear

Tell ′em all I said hi - I said hi, Amy Shark

We don't gotta be in love - One of your girls, The Weeknd feat. Jennie, Lily-Rose Depp

The distance between you and me (it never seems to disappear) - Maybe if, BIBI

Say what you want (I'll keep it a secret) - One of your girls, Troye Sivan

I'm surrendering tonight - Collide, Rachel Platten

That's what you get when you let your heart win - That's what you get, Paramore

Give me a sign, I want to believe - The Ballad of Mona Lisa, Panic! at the Disco

Just a game that can't be won - Always on the run, Isaak Guderian

Your lips should be saying the same thing - Really, Blackpink

Still, I'm under your control now - Number 1, Nico Santos

Embracing all my scars and imperfections - Comflex, Stray Kids

More titles!

#writeblr #writeblogging #writers on tumblr #writers on ao3 #writer things #creative writing #fan fic writing #fic titles #writing prompts #writing inspiration #dpr ian

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haywire-hetfield · 8 months ago

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I mean, for the time period and context Occultus makes the most sense.

But Stian - nowadays Culto Prietsu - was one of three founders of the record shop helvete. Though by most accounts Stain understood it was Euronymus’s baby but he helped find music for the store including offering up part of his own music collection. They just got unlimited access to the building / inner circle shit and limited say in what the record shop did.

He was featured on 1 mayhem recording doing vocals and allegedly bass (but that’s one of those things that’s hard to 100% confirm ) and was for a few months after Dead’s Death the singer and bassist for mayhem.

He and Euro were very close until the financial aspect drove them apart abit and then before they could make up, the man passed.

For his music I recommend his band Thyabhorrent ( though he’s do so so much more) specifically the complication album Occultus Brujeria. But only if you like 2nd wave black metal. Don’t worry I’m not a gatekeeper, I know black metal doesn’t sit well with everyone and no one has to listen to all of it. -🐈‍⬛

Yeah, I definitely prefer using Occultus now. It's funny because I have some people where I prefer using their real name and some where I prefer using their stage name (I use Kristian when I want to add some spice)

Aww, that's actually really cute/sweet. Funnily, I didn't really ship or care for Euronymous x Occultus in LOC, but that's swaying me a bit.

And I did actually know he was in Mayhem for a little bit

And I checked it out! Sounds good. (I listen to/like all genres of music, at least some songs, so that's never really a concern)

#asks #rpf

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cubedmango · 10 months ago

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hi it's kr anon again - first off, happy holidays (if you celebrate/d any of them) and happy new year! (with the bonus of 2024 being the year of the dragon after 2023 was the year of the rabbit, just like with build's two leads 🐇🐉❤️)

and aw it's fine, i'm just happy to know you've continued watching the show, regardless of the gap in time, and well, better late than never right dkwjfnks

and ofc i understand getting sucked into other media interests too, i'm glad you seem to be having fun with your pokemon stuff as well so no worries there <3 but yeah "what the fuck is going on???" truly is the build experience once the plot twists and reveals really hit the ground and get going 😭 [1/?]

(rest below)

ah okay that's what i thought the spoiler you saw was about too (which is why i said to watch eps. 13-16 asap bc i knew you'd be in for a treat, if an angsty one), but i'm glad to see it didn't ruin the whole thing for you in the end jgjdfknvs. that was in fact one of the first things i got spoiled for as well getting into build (thanks wikipedia character descriptions), but i also didn't realize until later on that it would get revealed that early, but from what i now know and have seen of the later plot, it makes sense that they wouldn't drag that part out for too long, and in time you'll see for yourself too 👁️👁️ but yeah literallyyy that had got to be top 10 anime betrayals... like just. the apparent bald-faced lying to the rest of the gang, especially to sento and misora, with that whole convo in ep. 13 between him and sento where the latter was already suspicious of isurugi after his call with nabeshima and he asked about stuff like isurugi's supposed part-time job ("kinda hard to tell which is your main gig"... god if you'd only known just how right you were in that moment sento), and they ended up reminiscing the good old days from when sento was first brought to nascita and how he first transformed into build and became a hero bc isurugi asked him to lend them his strength, and then isurugi said he basically considered them a family now and an eavesdropping misora also smiled at the thought... oof. ouch. and it's even more painful when you consider that isurugi had seemingly been cleared of suspicion already in like ep. 4 or 5 after sento found the panel from pandora's box hidden in the basement wall and interrogated him over it, only for the show to turn around and go "sike! it's actually even worse than you thought!" several episodes later 😭😭 [2/?]

and like. it really worsens so many things in hindsight you know? remember when isurugi claimed he arrived barely in time to save sento from the poison stalk hit him with and to bring him home to nascita at the end of ep. 3 and the beginning of ep. 4... lol. gaslight gatekeep girlboss king who lives for lying straight out his ass. ofc that whole convo between isurugi and banjou where the former tried to get the latter to understand sento's mindset (similar to some of the later convos between misora and banjou) and sento being the way he is bc he was trying to be the kind of person he hoped his past self was, but that he was also carrying a kind of loneliness the rest of them couldn't imagine or something like that (the very same scene i remember you shared screenshots of before)... like wow the reason isurugi himself understood sento's issues so well is bc he's the one who put him in that situation in the first place. then there's stalk suggesting to gentoku after that fight they had in the forest that if he were in gentoku's position, he would use 'someone with no ties to the government' (basically implying sento as build) to retrieve pandora's box the way stalk himself had already been using and stringing along sento. and like basically how well stalk was able to manipulate and predict pretty much every single move on sento and co.'s part ("just according to keikaku" moment) bc he was right there watching them at home all along... godddd. like talk about one hell of a mastermind 😞 (on a less related but funny note: i think it was from an earlier episode but i can never forget that time isurugi told sento "you know i don't eat pasta and i'm too scared to use bidets, right?" bc what even could have been the context for the latter... and was that even a genuine fear of his or was he faking that too all along? 😭) [3/?]

and the way one could see the suspenseful build-up in sento's suspicions of isurugi throughout ep. 13, e.g. bc of how stalk could predict the styles of and find ways to counter all his forms except for the latest one, octopuslight, that he developed without isurugi's knowledge, and then how stalk made his escape without putting up more of a fight; how isurugi was conveniently absent from nascita right after that very fight (basically that meme like "have you ever seen isurugi souichi and blood stalk in the same room? no? exactly"); how isurugi's talk about being a family with sento was already being belied by how he was no longer around to welcome sento home anymore unlike the early days, but misora was the one to greet sento in her dad's stead after having been so worried about him willingly walking into a trap earlier, indicating that she was sento's real family (also: academy award to isurugi for the way he acted all surprised seeing pandora's box in the nascita basement honestly 😭). and just the very fact that the gang suspected for a period of time that katsuragi was stalk, only for the truth of both their identities to be way more gut-wrenching... 😔 however, even amidst the pain of the betrayal, it was definitely one of sento's smartest moves so far to already plan ahead re: the fake bottles to trick stalk (and nanba), so good on sento for getting a genuine w this time that wasn't pre-approved by stalk/isurugi 🙏🏼 (also shoutout to those little flags popping out of the fake bottles with a mischievous-looking chibi sento drawn on them hehe)

and ofc the second confrontation between the two in ep. 14 was very well-done (although when i saw that isurugi was calling sento for the first time after the reveal, i felt very "block his number already dude" hdqkajgfs), like the way isurugi purposely asked to meet with sento in the alley where he'd found him like some kind of taunt and how it was raining just like that first day; sento asking if isurugi had always just been pretending with him, banjou, and misora all along and isurugi responding that not everything was a lie bc they'd actually impressed him sometimes and he'd feel bad for tricking them; sento genuinely getting choked up and angry and telling isurugi to stop joking around... then when both of them threw their umbrellas to the side so they could transform, but it was all out-of-focus, and the sound design in that scene so one could only hear the heavy rain and not the usual jingles made it feel like the truly somber, serious moment it was and how afterwards neither moved for a while, with sento in particular seemingly frozen, hesitant to make the first move in attacking isurugi/stalk... man they got me good there 💔😭 [4/?]

and the way sento soon got overwhelmed during the fight and stopped defending himself as he flashed back to all the times he thought isurugi had been helping or looking out for him, and then stalk took advantage of that to beat him up and he then detransformed and fell over 😭 then when sento said "i can't do it... of course i can't do it...! the person who made me who i am... it was you! thanks to you, i was able to keep a hold of my humanity. i believed in you! you saved me! and now... how could i beat you?!" like dude that really is fucked up as hell. bc god did isurugi literally make him as a person, right down to giving him his name - and since 'sento' means 'rabbit tank' like build's base form, it's now recontextualized as isurugi doing the whole 'naming your gun "gun"' thing huh 😭😭😭 but man i'm pretty sure this is one of the first scenes in the show that i genuinely teared up at, bc i could feel how genuine the heartbreak was 💔💔💔 (and ofc credit to the writer, director, actors, etc. for pulling those scenes off so well that even though i already knew they were coming, they still hit me bad watching those episodes the first time 😭) the additional reveal though that isurugi was primarily just trying to get misora to purify more bottles bc she wouldn't have done so otherwise after discovering what faust wanted to do with them (like what she told banjou earlier) and that's why he came up with that elaborate and convoluted scheme that involved sento 'playing' build... can 'fucked up' even begin to describe this shit too? [5/?]

but well said fucked up revelation did lead to sento's very inspirational speech afterwards about how the ideals of justice that he and banjou believed in hadn't been an illusion and so even if isurugi had been manipulating him the entire time, he still needed to protect what was important to him and that's why he had to beat isurugi, so thanks for that ig cobra man? 😭 and ofc there was the unveiling of sento's first major power-up form, rabbittank sparkling, which yes, everyone has had their time affectionately making fun of for basically being pepsiman (though that was definitely on purpose on toei/bandai's part since there was even a joke sorta referencing that in hei gen final that i remember from the first several minutes i've watched of the movie), but in all seriousness, it's cool that it essentially represents sento reclaiming build's power for himself away from stalk's use of it and him 🥹 and hope you'll also enjoy seeing the rest of his (and banjou's and the other riders' too) power-ups, most of them are just as neat and symbolize more significant points in their character development 👀 [6/?]

also dw, the questions you brought up re: the reveals from ep. 15 will be (mostly) explained by the next episode lol. speaking of gentoku, it's kinda funny to see that he and isurugi/stalk are kinda divorced now bc the latter's hooked up (lol) with nanba (old man yaoi... i'm sorry djfkhwcs), but like 1 episode later, they're back to being begrudging allies before isurugi does some shit that pisses off gentoku again lmao. but also agh the stuff with misora and her dad in this episode... like if the sento and isurugi stuff wasn't already a shot to the heart, this one almost shatters the whole thing 😔 the way it started off with misora saying "dad... when he gets back, he's in for a shock" re: the government raiding nascita for the box and then the look of guilt on sento's face, and when she did end up confronting isurugi later on, you could see that even she was suspecting already that he might have been up to something terrible due to his whole disappearing act, but said she was ready to accept the truth of it, and how it appeared like he might actually do as she asked, especially when he did admit he hadn't been honest about the part-time job, but ofc he ended up lying to her again, using the coffee growing thing as a poor excuse :/

then misora acted like she accepted the explanation and she was now all fine and relieved about it, but then it was clear that she continued to sense something was off, even if she couldn't seem to tell exactly what, highlighted by her only starting to cry and falling to her knees as she broke down sobbing after her dad left :( and when she told him, "even though a lot of scary stuff has happened... all i can think of is that time you didn't flinch at all even though you'd just bonked your head on the door, or when you'd tell terrible jokes, or when you'd laugh too loud. the fun stuff is what comes to mind first. that's why i think, no matter what happens now, i will treasure those moments forever. so... thank you." the dramatic fucking irony of it all... a bullet to the head would be less painful at this point build T_T and isurugi didn't even do the bare minimum of like pretending to comfort her by hugging her before he left... give my girl a real hug 2k24!! (or 2k17 might be more appropriate, since that was the year this aired) [7/?]

(also you can really tell isurugi's in evil mode now huh bc he's totally dropped the porkpie hat, glasses, and apron look which had made him look like a goofy and eccentric but still lovable uncle type of person lmao) though overall idk if i would have actually been able to predict both the blood stalk and katsuragi twists if i had gone into the show blind like you, but since i did watch it with that knowledge already, i was able to spot the hints and moments of foreshadowing and damn some of them were pretty obvious with hindsight (e.g. isurugi being absent from nascita shortly after fights with or scenes showing stalk, the close-up on the coffee beans at the end of ep. 12 after sento's call with nabeshima during which the latter revealed stalk's identity, sento being brought to tears by mrs. katsuragi's omelettes for a seemingly inexplicable reason, sento having the same hairstyle as katsuragi but not satou tarou, the fact that sento was a scientist like katsuragi but showed no inclination whatsoever towards music like satou) (also: ngl that shot in ep. 15 where sento in rabbittank sparkling form jumps up then kicks gentoku into the wall and he lands on the ground and slowly stands up with the fire from the explosion blazing behind him was sick as hell... build can really deliver aesthetically too 🙏🏼) [8/?]

kwjekgafs yeah that pantomiming scene between sento and banjou while misora and sawa were freaking out over the date thing in the background was truly some peak build humor in that a-bit-weird-but-it-works kind of way, and i'm also obsessed with the implications of sento and banjou apparently knowing each other well enough by that point that they could already communicate using their own sign language like that 😭 also the concept of dumbass gym bro banjou who is very amenable to bribes of protein >>> plus that romantic sparkles filter when banjou officially 'asked out' misora and then him having to drag her out bc she became woozy from not being mentally prepared... lol (though that makes me wonder if banjou did actually get his protein (plus banana?) in the end... hopefully sento remembered to do so in between eps. 14 and 15 or something kjfeshcds) [9/?]

also some other standout comedic and/or cute moments to me from this batch of episodes: when they tried to lure sento out of the basement with the smell of his favorite food like a cat and it actually worked; banjou putting 2 fingers to his temple to show how seriously he was mulling things over even though sawa only used 1 in reaction to misora saying it would be weird for katsuragi to be stalk and thus be supposedly the mastermind behind his own 'murder'; sawa reacting in embarrassment and covering her ears when sento said that surely a spy like her would know how to get into nanba's facility despite it supposedly being secure; banjou's delivery guy (i think?) disguise for his and sento's scheme to enter nanba's facility; banjou then getting in sento's way after they simultaneously transformed and were about to run in and sento unceremoniously smacking his head to shove him away; "get a move on already!" "these fingers are thick! it's hard to type!" "use your pinky, man! the pinky!" and the fact that banjou's tip actually worked (but tbh, i did like that moment for showing that while sento is normally the genius and banjou the dumbass, sometimes the latter can just use his common sense for things that the former may overlook or overthink); banjou subsequently trying to break down the door when the code sento typed in didn't work, sento covering banjou's face and saying "stop trying to solve every problem with brute force!", and banjou going "hey, i can't see! i can't see!"; "so you opened the vault just to tell us that?"; the fact that they just apparently covered something as valuable as pandora's box in bubble wrap on their way home from the facility (also sento being all like "i'm like dropping hints that i think owner is blood stalk" "i think owner is blood stalk" during his convo with banjou); and sento, banjou, and misora using the cash register money to buy a fancy dinner for themselves (and you could even see they put u-tan at the table with them lol) and isurugi acting all bewildered and exasperated over it also it was a very brief scene immediately overshadowed by isurugi's theft of the box and the bottles but it was cute seeing misora and banjou asleep, with the latter being partly under the kotatsu and hugging u-tan (i think it's the security stuffed animal for the nascita main trio atp), though that does beg the question as to where sento and isurugi normally sleep too (but also like how was isurugi so careless as to not check that sento was actually asleep that night... i mean i guess that was kinda the point that he underestimated sento after having had him fooled for so long, but. still); the fact that isurugi used a karakusa-pattern (i'm suddenly reminded of the faradays from aa lol) bag to hold the box and the bottles as if practically screaming to the world that he was a thief; "why do i have to run while doing the introduction?!"; the fact that even isurugi got exhausted from running and had to stop and sit on the ground while he and sento talked it out but also the audacity he had to even try asking sento to forget what he did; that "no misoras allowed" sign on the fridge door and an annoyed misora deciding to go to sleep right there and then on the counter (even if the context was decidedly angsty); that whole sequence with sento using poor banjou as a guinea pig for his experiments with the bottles for the power-up item while he hid behind a metal shield the entire time even when shit exploded and sent banjou flying backwards or even electrocuted him; "how do you like my-" "invention? your sixth sense, on the other hand, is faulty!"; and whatever the hell banjou was supposed to be disguised as during the karaoke 'date' with misora

and this wasn't exactly meant to be funny but i like that sento explicitly said "from here on... the man i knew as isurugi souichi is dead" bc wow adbks (assigned dead by kiryuu sento); the fact that isurugi doxxed gentoku's identity as the real night rogue to sento and banjou for extra drama even though iirc gentoku didn't even appear in that episode; the ep. 15 recap where banjou asked where they would get money now that isurugi had left nascita and even sento was unable to answer, and then he tried to change the topic but banjou told him not to play dumb; sawa bonking banjou on the head with what looked like a cartoon hammer for being noisy in that secret base they were cooped up in; sento covering the entirety of the lab in equations in trying to finish the sclash driver data and banjou being covered in papers but apparently hating all of the math so much that it made him want to barf; "ain't i great? ain't i awesome? ain't i a genius? yeehee!"; sento and banjou being disguised as a doctor and nurse (?) at the hospital for their attempt to meet with gentoku's dad's guards (banjou's hair here in particular was so... help); that one scene at the hospital as well where sento was in the suit bent over and shaking his ass - when he was trying to retrieve the box i think - that was probably just the suit actor having fun messing around for a bit; gentoku angrily confronting isurugi over him not getting the box back despite their agreement and the latter said there was something really important he'd needed to pick up and then he showed off the coffee beans, and gentoku threw the container away in disgust and isurugi acted all offended + "are you trying to screw me?!" (that sure is. some choice wording, at least translation-wise) "hey, i love this jacket! quit trying to wrinkle it up, please!"; and banjou carrying an unconscious misora piggyback-style after that fight with gentoku 🥺) [10/?]

on a more serious note though, the angsty vibe during misora and banjou's second 'date' was </3, due to banjou already knowing about her dad but being unable to tell her and misora talking about how faust had been making her purify bottles at first but then she was unable to do it after a while due to her horror at learning of faust's true purposes for them, and it was a pretty sobering moment, only to be broken by the return of the 'your fly is open' gag lmao. bit of a whiplash huh and yes banjou in that scene was 🥺❤️ the way he showed up right in time to stop stalk from killing (or at least further hurting) sento, and how he's got sento's back so he readily offers to fight stalk in sento's stead, and the way he says he's now angrier at stalk for lying to sento and misora than for framing him for murder... he really is growing into a better, more selfless person and who is settling more and more into his role as sento's trusted partner augh. and whoa i didn't really think of it that way when i first watched this episode (even though i know i was the one who first brought up the ryusen-narumitsu parallels some time ago) but thank you for opening my eyes to the narumitsu-isms of that scene in particular bc like woof. it does feel similar to phoenix offering to defend edgeworth in court and to go up against mvk on edgeworth's behalf huh (though atp, sento and banjou are more genuine friends already than phoenix and edgeworth were at that point in the series but like. the vibes are still there) [12/?]

and speaking of that! now you're getting to see more and more of the edgeworth-sento comparisons i brought up before huh, plus what i mentioned about sento's identity crisis that could rival edgeworth's (though definitely sento's is a bit more extreme and fantastical in context) 👁️👁️ like in light of the big reveal, one could definitely start drawing parallels between edgeworth & mvk's relationship and sento & isurugi's re: terrible older male mentors who may not have super explicitly acted as fathers but were nonetheless father figures of sorts who took these guys in after the latter experienced a traumatic event, and who greatly molded the guys in their current careers to serve mvk and isurugi's own agendas, but both edgeworth and sento are initially unaware of that and so they just feel grateful to their new father figures until the truth comes out and then they are sent reeling and wondering if anything that they did actually mattered when they were being manipulated for so long and had played right into the older men's hands, and if they could possibly still continue being a prosecutor and a hero of justice, respectively, when those paths had been laid out for them for corrupt purposes 😔 (plus ofc there's mvk and isurugi both already having daughters who'd eventually become younger sister figures to these guys). though tbf to isurugi, he's way better at acting benevolently compared to mvk (which makes sense as the former being a bad guy is meant to be more of a genuine plot twist than the latter, and mvk's whole thing is that even though he's clearly an asshole, as long as phoenix/the player can't actually prove him guilty, he wouldn't be punished for his wrongdoings). also now i'm hoping someone else might be able to see my vision of isurugi as the sexier version of mvk 🙏🏼 djfkwrjsgas

also yep, we're getting more misora screentime but at what cost to my girl's mental health 😔 and sawa too, with her now being in on the truth about isurugi even ahead of poor misora and subsequently helping the guys out with getting info on him and the like... man so much has been happening and piling up huh. and ofc, i can only tell you to wait and see re: what's going on with sawa, but i'm 90-99% sure you'll like how things will play out for her for the most part 👍🏼 though tbh, iirc her appearances over the next few episodes in particular are sadly kinda on-again, off-again, but when she *is* given her moments to shine, she does serve well, so thank god for these few but still delicious crumbs i guess 😔 and yeah like i said before, kasumi definitely still pops up here and there even after ep. 11 (haunting the narrative and all), so at least banjou doesn't actually forget her in spite of what she told him in her letter, and as for him being able to avenge her or not, well stay tuned :-) [12/?]

and i hope you watch ep. 16 soon too bc it has one of the defining ryusen moments ever, while ep. 17 has one of my fave sento & misora rabbit sibling moments T_T and the next few episodes definitely have a lot more great (if mostly angsty) ryusen scenes, but then again, that's basically the whole show at this rate so no real surprise there lol also there's actually a funny cm/kr build tumblr post i wanted to share with you, but it makes a reference (vague but still) to the hei gen final movie which you've said you aren't planning to watch for a while yet and so you might not be able to immediately get it - i'll still link the post though just in case, so read at your own risk ig: tumblr . com/kabutoraiger/635644615155924992/i-want-adachi-and-banjou-to-swap-places-for-like-a [13/?]

and you're welcome :-) i hope my explanations didn't end up being confusing though, so if you want anything clarified, don't be afraid to ask me for it 👍🏼 and well you're right to tread cautiously re: the misogyny but also i hope i didn't permanently scare you off trying any other kr though - like i hope didn't make it sound as if most other kr seasons are super misogynistic 😭 it's more that in a franchise like this, where they have yet to even seriously consider making a woman the actual lead (i'll elaborate more on this in a while), it's (sadly) kinda expected that each season would contain some level of misogyny bc *joker voice* we live in a society and all, but usually it's like a regular amount of misogyny, and there are only a few seasons i'm told are actually that terrible towards women

in fact, there's this one particular veteran writer whom kr/toku fans have a love-hate relationship with that i had in mind for this phenomenon - toshiki inoue, bc i've heard he can write some pretty banger concepts and characters and he does have a good grasp of the core appeal of toku after all these decades even with his known idgaf attitude towards properly integrating toy upgrades into his shows' narratives, and many people just can't help but want to tune into the batshit shenanigans he loves writing that who knows if we should truly be impressed or bewildered by or a bit both, and i've also heard even a lot of his female characters tend to be interesting and memorable on their own. but he just apparently gets caught up too often in his misogynistic tendencies to ultimately do said women justice (especially when he involves them in his classic soap operatic love dodecahedrons - like seriously almost every toku show he's been the head writer for has featured one), and to the point that his brand of homoeroticism is infamous for generally being 'so misogynistic it's gay' (and so it makes perfect sense that he was the head writer for the death note anime bc he and the mangaka tsugumi ohba sure do have major similarities on those fronts lmao). so a lot of the 'woman fails to transform bc she's a woman' stuff is apparently from his seasons (like the aforementioned kiva from before, which i meant to say aired in 2008-2009 and not 2007-2008, my bad), but i've heard a few other non-inoue seasons still pull that shit like in drive, so it's still pretty unfortunate overall :/ and ofc there's gaim, the season directly preceding drive, which was written by gen urobuchi, and while i don't remember if it pulls the 'failing to transform' trope for any of its female characters, by many accounts urobuchi's own reputed misogyny definitely still rears its head here so 😩 [14/?]

as for those that do feature well-written (or at least better than expected/usual) female characters, iirc seasons like kuuga, ooo, and fourze are still worth checking out, with kuuga in particular being considered one of, if not the peak of writing kr women in the heisei era (with some thinking that part of it is bc only the protagonist himself ever gets to be a rider, so the rest of the male and female characters who are all non-riders can be more equally balanced in their writing), which is probably an aspect of what gave it the reputation of being a classic toku masterpiece, but also sad in a way since kuuga was the very first heisei show, meaning none of the succeeding 19 shows were able to surpass its female characters' writing and well. disappointing but also not surprising 😔 in the reiwa era, so far there has definitely been more effort put into making women at least tertiary riders, but again, it doesn't automatically equate to great writing, as i've heard people complain about yua from zero-one's wasted potential (though i think part of it stems from the reduced number of episodes and other covid restrictions the last third of the show faced since it aired in 2019-2020, and thus her storyline got reduced) and people had mixed feelings on how neon from geats' arc was wrapped up. sakura from revice is probably the luckiest of them in some ways, and an aspect of that is definitely that she is the first major female character to have substantial heated drama with another woman, but her arc still suffers a bit because revice as a whole is apparently not very well-written, so sadly we still don't have a superb variety of choices here... [15/?]

and on that note, i recently learned that revice's head writer hanta kinoshita had actually actively pushed to create kr's first ever female protagonist for the show, but toei almost immediately shot him down (part of their reasoning was that they didn't want to rock the boat too much with their audiences given that japan was still slowly 'recovering' from the pandemic at the time in 2021, but still. eh), and that info definitely recontextualizes why sakura was written like that, like to the point that some did feel she was a far more compelling character than the protagonist and her older brother ikki. even if revice overall may not have been fantastic or something, i still have to give some credit to kinoshita for even trying in the first place and for exerting way more effort with his women than like 90% of kr's other writers to date you know? and oh for sure i understand that you want to reserve the movies for after finishing your main series viewing, so go ahead :-) and hope you'll continue to enjoy the twists and developments! build certainly is one wild (if still generally coherent at least) ride, i can say for sure 😳 and that's also understandable, i myself plan on watching the cm anime at some point (but only probably after all the episodes are out and not while it's still airing), and may you have fun watching it too 👍🏼 [16/?]

aw it's always neat to see the media creators we like have their own interests and hobbies which they feel comfortable enough sharing with the rest of us, especially if it's something we like already or something we're about to get hooked by, and ig the cm mangaka is no exception to that :-) and well since you're past ep. 15 already, you'll definitely be meeting the parasocial guy soon, so good luck lol. and i didn't know that she generally kept up with the cm j-drama's actors' filmographies (bc i thought that maybe her watching build was the exception due to it being a popular toku show, like i'm definitely not as familiar with her as you are) but it's cool that she's generally known for being enthusiastically supportive :') actually, i kinda slowed down in my viewing pace again since i sent you my last batch of messages, partly due to family matters, so i'm unfortunately still stuck in the early episode 40's and can't fully judge yet if i agree with the assessment that the plot kinda stumbled here 😔 but one of the latest episodes i watched did have a scene that's now in my top 5 ryusen moments and it's just. gah. shogo muto what do you want from me 😭 also this character development i'm seeing for [redacted] is 🥺... they've truly come so far 🥲 and we're definitely delving more into sento's past now, and i think i like most of how it's been handled so far, so 👍🏼 [17/?]

but yeah it's unfortunate re: what happened, and given the circumstances, the fact that the show still generally stuck the landing is commendable, but regardless. that won't stop one from imagining alternate realities where the staff had been able to actually execute the storylines they'd planned, and how much of the show's flaws would have been genuinely improved by that you know? and that reminds me, since you got to that point already, i'm just gonna reveal that one of the actors who got sick and wasn't able to return to the show was mrs. katsuragi's, so yeah we're sadly not getting a more in-depth exploration of her relationship with her son(s) after eps. 7-8 😔 rest assured that they don't kill her off in-universe though and they still do mention her at times, and while i don't think she was ever really planned to have a major role in the story, it's highly likely that muto did at least want her to meet with sento again, even if just once, so that's kinda bittersweet in hindsight. oh well, what's done's done, but yeah and since i'm still not yet done with the show, i'll just say i'm planning to finally finish hei gen final and then watch be the one in between eps. 45 and 46 since that's when the latter is supposed to take place anyway, and then i'll only watch the stageplay and hei gen forever after the finale. and i wasn't really interested in them before, but it looks like i'll probably be watching most if not all of the webseries and other specials at some point too bc i discovered that a lot of the stuff i saw in gifsets and videos in build's tumblr tags are from those, and in general there's extra content of characters like misora even if it's not really plot-relevant and are sometimes of questionable quality (especially the adult-oriented specials which i've heard can get pretty brutal for seemingly no reason other than the staff having the freedom to put those more 'mature' scenes in 😬) so yeah, i'll take whatever i can get [18/?]

so yeah in light of that, i still can't give you my actual thoughts on the ending, but i am certainly very excited to get to it bc i just know it will emotionally wreck me in the best way based on everything i've heard 😁 and like i've said before, good luck and have fun with the rest of the series! ❤️ and well if you ever decide to actually go through with your ideas for build fanart, i just know you'd be able to cook up some crazy good ones, so looking forward to those in that case 🙏🏼 and ofc feel free to doodle to your heart's content with whatever references you might like to use - though you don't have to share those on here if you want, especially if you'd prefer to post the full/finished drawings later on instead 👍🏼 and hope you did have a great 24th birthday then with your loved ones, and til next time! 😊🎉 [19/19]

hello again, just some more updates from kr anon: i have the viewing pace of a turtle, so i only just finished watching be the one after finishing ep. 45 of the main show (i know i previously said i was planning to finish hei gen final before getting to be the one, but i was too impatient to see the ryusen agenda in the latter so i decided to skip the former for now and just go back to it once i complete the entire show, along with watching the stageplay, hei gen forever, etc.) 😅 but boy did the movie deliver on that agenda (as well as showing how much sento loves his friends and family in general and his continued dedication to heroism against all odds 🥹), and obviously i shouldn't spoil anything but let me just mention that there's a rain scene set to a music box rendition of the show's theme song and it's just... extremely tender and romantic 🥺 like wow muto and kazuya kamihoriuchi (the director) probably ascended to another plane of reality while making this movie man 😭 and the plot may not necessarily be the most solid bc they were probably trying to make sure it wouldn't tie back too much to the main story, but the emotional core is there and that's what really matters <3 (and there was also plenty of gorgeous cinematography/visuals and cool fight scenes, etc., plus an obligatory teaser cameo for the protagonist of the next season zi-o) [1/4]

as for eps. 40-45 and my own thoughts on how they handled the arc there - now i can say that i do agree with those other fans about it feeling weaker compared to a lot of the previous arcs, and there were some moments that came off as pretty sloppily written to me and which even frustrated me ngl. however i still didn't hate it as a whole, and whatever annoyances i felt were not enough to be a dealbreaker for me to stop watching - i just think there were aspects which could have been better handled. and don't let that discourage you either, because there *were* still a lot of stuff from these episodes that i did like/love, especially the found family/friendship + ryusen moments and the goofy scenes involving a certain character and their quirks (and it was technically in an earlier episode that it debuted, but i also liked seeing what i consider sento/build's best and most visually pleasing power-up form in action in this batch of episodes), and ofc you might enjoy it more than i did due to differing perspectives and all, like maybe there were even more positive elements i ended up overlooking that you'll appreciate it did leave me wondering though if some arcs in the show's last third got shuffled around, and just how much did certain parts of the story truly get reworked to accommodate those sick actors' absence, among other possible production issues and factors like the toy upgrade schedule, bc although i do think muto generally did his best to smooth over things to continue making the narrative feel as cohesive as possible, i could still sense some of the gaps so hmm... but again, don't feel too discouraged, as you can pass your own judgment once you get to this part, so don't take me as the end-all, be-all critic of everything in this series 👍🏼 [2/4]

anyway some (non-spoilery ofc, or spoilers only up to the parts i know you've seen) build tumblr posts i think you'd like (sorry most of these are from the same user, but well they're really good and funny): tumblr . com/gojurt/697131236415684608 & tumblr . com/gojurt/706925590203301888/was-reminded-of-the-ryusen-blingee-i-didnt-post & tumblr . com/gojurt/696688485489360896/kamen-rider-build-impression-sento-banjo-we-need & tumblr . com/pleuvoire/654578565791285248 plus some ryusen fanart: tumblr . com/marialagidyne/701322016120242176/drawn-05092022-i-also-had-to-draw-this-out-before & tumblr . com/shadents/165364572298/cant-get-over-each-time-ryuuga-shrieked-because + this post featuring some promotional images for the show: tumblr . com/t-u-i-t-c/727115932819980288/tokuvn-kamen-rider-build-character-book-no0 + some cute bonus merch: tumblr . com/r4bbitdragon/694409740645777408/anyways-for-builds-5th-anni-behold-these-kicks and there's another ryusen fmv i discovered, though it's best watched once you're done with the show + be the one since it contains spoilers for those: tumblr . com/shirleyjakcson/654666138019594240/i-dont-know-about-this-power-of-science-stuff-you [3/4]

also i know you're probably more into the cm anime atm, so no pressure re: continuing your build watch or replying to me rn if you're not yet in the mood - just hope you're loving the anime so far <3 like i said before, i'll probably watch the anime too but only after all the episodes have aired bc i don't have the patience for weekly watching rn so yeah 😔 anyway, by the time i share my next updates, hopefully i'll have actually been done with the whole show and the main extra material and thus i'll be able to do a fuller review (non-spoilery as well ofc in case you're still not done) of build for you, so i'm looking forward to that :-) [4/4]

kr anon i return!!!! a super super late happy holidays and happy new year to u too, i hope ur jan has been going well (unlike mine, i fell sick earlier 😭) and that uve been enjoying the show if uve continued watching those last few eps and the extra content 👀

yeag the cm anime brainrot got to me as expected (it is. So good already ougghh) so i didnt end up watching as many eps of build but i did manage to catch up to ep20 (forgor to take screenshots this time orz) and girl What the Fuck are these Plot Twists its like being slapped across the face every ep whay. is going on .??????? theres a whole another amnesiac kamen rider (which makes me wonder if the 3rd section of the country also has one of their own) AND theres even more bottles AND banjou + sento both got extremely concerning upgrades AND utsumi is alive AND misora has healing??????????????

speaking of the new guy i see what you meant about the parasociality now tho so far im. honestly kinda finding it funny like imagine signing up to fight these other ppl but ur fav idol is on their side so u let them go like kjkjgdf??? but his deal is intriguing so far w him having memory loss too and the other guys basically being one bad punch away from dying too.......... (also idk why but his actors face looks familiar to me tho i dont rlly rember seeing him in any show before........i dont wanna look up anything rn so guess ill find out later jgjfd)

but god. the fambly moments theyre tearing me apart like the sento-misora-banjou cycle of doing all they can for each others sake im Sick? Im Sick????? sento and misora being called each others only family IM SICK???????? banjou wanting to stop the war for sentos sake I AM SO SICK??????????????? what was up with that gay ass ryusen flashback montage at the end of ep20 what do they want from me . why show me that before making them fight AGAIN like i am So worried abt the next ep u dont even know 😭 also def seeing what u mean abt the sento and edgeworth parallels now good LORD the identity crisis is real out here.?? like going from being an amnesiac -> potential murderer -> guy who made the manmade horrors can he catch a break holy shit

also obligatory sawa mention bc i am so obsessed w her shes So cool . literally carrying the team tbh like where would they be without her and her car !!!! rlly excited to see where things are gonna go w her from here on too aaaahhh

seeing ur comments abt the eps from 40 onwards carefully........ honestly im kind of used to medias w suddenly declining quality nearing the end by now so if u hadnt explained what happened w the crew and stuff i still honestly wouldnt have been super surprised but given the circumstances it sounds like they handled the whole thing a lot better than just doing the bare minimum to get the show over and done with (which is the brand of endings ive seen too much of) but yea im still looking forward to getting to those last few eps! still a while for me to go tho i gotta survive the whiplash of these current eps rn 😔

and dw im not put off from trying any of the other kr shows or anything afjdhsjfdhf tbf the misogyny in the writing sounds veeery typical so again nothing im not already used to seeing unfortunately,, just sucks that in such a long running franchise theres still so much pushback from studio higher ups against having women in the lead or getting them properly written but alas . we rlly do live in a society...... maybe in the next kr show after the one thats airing rn (<-has no idea what the one airing rn even is)

anyway!!! if uve finished the show by now then lmk what u thought im super curious abt ur opinion akfjkdjf i am trusting whatever u say u are my senpai in the realm of kr....... i will try to speed up my watching too tho uhhhh tsukutabe s2 is also starting now so ummmmmm . the combo of that and cm might be holding me back for a while im sory-

#also omg ty for the links to the posts ive been way too scared to wade into the tags on here i am trying so hard to stay spoiler free #the shitposts esp helpfkjdkf they have no business being this funny? 😭 and the fanarts too im crying?? they are getting my rbs of honor #the spoilery links have been saved for later......ryusen fmvs i will watch u soon i prommy #my answer

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