#i never thought anyone was worse than michael scott but here we go

[thebellekeys]

i'm not even remotely exaggerating when i say that i have never hated any tv or film character in my life more than i absolutely hate, with all my heart, frank gallagher

[onlyhereforangst]

WWR

I’m baaaaack bitches 😘 let’s be honest the last two episodes were shit & you wouldn’t have wanted that wwr anyways. SO let’s get into the ✨angst✨ that was Nick’s episode under the cut…

Oh but before I start, why yes, yes I called this theory too. Me and this writer share a goddamn brain or something because I’ve literally always guessed big plot points of his episodes correctly 😅

Ok Nick’s dad leaving like that, with poor bby Nick all sweet asking if he promises to bring him back his favorite pastry and him hesitating before he’s going to promise- NO. 

*picture Michael Scott gif here*

It’s not faaaaaair, little Nick deserved so much better- so MUCH better. And it’s only going to get worse as the episode goes on, so strap in for the walk down emo lane. 

Quick pit stop for cute banter because duh. Nick giving the real estate agent Ellie’s number cracks me up because bro you want this house with her don’t you 👀 you still keep her business cards on you when you could have just as easily gotten your own (or McGee’s) by this point 👀 you just want to maaaaarry her and move iiiiiiin with her I knooooooow it 👀 Ellie’s reaction the split second we see also has me dying because she’s like ha ha this is funny you had to talk to real estate agent you drew the short straw hey wait what the fu— you did not! Before McGee interrupts any protest she can hurl back Nick’s way and that’s just gold right there. Pure middle school flirting as per usual for them and I love it.

Oooooooh Kasie’s lab scene. The growth in this one. Nick worried his family and by extension him, is going to get implicated for murder (or is guilty) even though it sounds outrageous to him, he’s got PTSD from Mona Lisa (and who wouldn’t tbh). But Ellie immediately, like IMMEDIATELY goes and defends him. Is like uh-uh don’t even GO there, it’s not a possibility its just person of interest I don’t care if it’s literal hair at the scene of a man stabbed brutally seven times, he’s not a murderer. The grooooooowth Ellie, I’m so proud of you 🥺 we went from using that logical head to realizing it’s ok to listen to your heart and wade into situations with empathy (especially for the boy you ~*looOOoOoOve*~) And then Nick talking about his dad being dead and a deadbeat and walking out when he was 5, he looks at Ellie almost the entire time, only barely glancing over at McGee like he needs to have that connection with her, she grounds him when this is suddenly very jarring having a relative by semi-involved in a murder. And Ellie isn’t the slightest bit shocked when Nick dumps this news so clearly she’s heard it and by her look, not only has she heard this, but she does not like the man for what he did to Nick. She looks pissed his father hurt Nick like that because how dare any one hurt her man 😤

And oh here it is, we back on emo lane. Nick recognizing and seeing his dad for the first time in 30 years. It’s gonna hit like a 🎵freeeeeight traaaain🎵 at first he can’t even believe its him, he blinks like a thousand times because *surely* his eyes are deceiving him and then his dad goes and uses his nickname, his nickname people the CRUELTY. YOU DON’T GET TO JUST SHOW UP THIRTY YEARS LATER AND CALL HIM BY HIS CUTE LITTLE NICKNAME YOU GAVE HIM AS A CHILD. YOU DON’T MIGUEL. NOT IN THIS GD HOUSE. Ok and now nick is in pure shock because he just got confirmation that his dad is not only *not* dead, but he’s here in front of him, in DC no less, possibly a murderer no less. AND he’s finding this out by chasing him down *not* by Miguel reaching out to him while in DC. The shock and confusion and hurt my poor baby.

And when that shock wears off and it’s just barely contained rage, my heart 🥺 so of course Ellie goes in there with him and nows she needs to immediately be the support she knows he needs but he won’t admit to needing. Nick tries to deflect with a joke at first but oh honey it’s no use. But quick comedic relief for us on emo lane “sit down, no I don’t like sitting” AHAHAHA like father like son I’m cackling because the look Ellie and nick share and nick’s eyes warn her like don’t you dare fucking say it and she’s like yep yep nope I wasn’t gonna say a damn thing I’ll just look down and try to contain my laughter because now is NOT the time. But see I’m on my couch and I can laugh all I damn well please at this scenario that was gold from the writers thank you. On a more serious level this probably hurt nick even more seeing that he’s even got the smallest something similar to his dad. He’s probably desperate to be the exact opposite, he doesn’t want to even consider being capable of what his father was capable so this - while seemingly insignificant - thing like not wanting to sit in a chair will hit deep for him without him realizing it. If something so trivial is the exact same, wouldn’t something much much heavier like commitment to relationships and family be the exact same? Wouldn’t it?? And good god poor nick for going through that mental anguish, on emo rollercoaster lane. Because it just gets better when Miguel’s excuse for being in DC is “visiting family” like call your BULLSHIT Miguel you certainly ain’t visiting family and Nick now knows oh he lies too, great, another win for the Torres blood, fan-fucking-tastic. 

Quick peek at viewing room and we don’t believe in personal space, Ellie wants to be as close as possible to her hurting bby 🥺

But back to the emo stuff - Miguel just lying off his ass and Nick fed up with his father’s games because it’s truly just twisting that knife in his back that’s been stuck there for 30 years deeper and deeper. AND THEN Miguel has the audacity to yell out for “Nico” like bitch you do NOT get to call him that either. You walked out on him and never came back gtfo. And Ellie is trying so hard to keep it together but man she wants to do one of two things if not both at the same time - wrap Nick up in her arms and shield him from this deadbeat and/or punch this man through the glass to cause just a fraction of the hurt he caused Nick. But instead she just has to keep her cool to be the supportive girlfriend she is and ask nick what he thinks and then. Then. “He’s lying…because his lips are moving”

Well FUCK. Murder me right now. The anguuuuuuuish. Poor five year old Nick in a 35 year old Nick’s body. That little boy who was promised a big hojaldre in the morning from the next town over is right there. Right there to witness the father he thought he had, hasn’t changed. One of the only memories Nick probably has of his father is him leaving. Him lying and leaving. And what does he do when he finally shows up again? 

HE LIES AND LEAVES. HE FUCKING LIES AND LEAVES. (I know I’m getting ahead and technically at this point we don’t know he’ll leave again but whatever sue me because this shit is too much.)

Side note: Ellie talking about a “conflict of interest” that Nick didn’t interrogate his father is laughable considering she should have never interrogated Xavier but ok. 

Ooooo lets see some pissed off Nick. Let it loose baby, you deserve this. And I know I wrote about this in the tags somewhere but can we take a second to appreciate McGee’s growth??? Like bro went from straight up denial to acceptance and giving Ellie the look of “go talk to your boyfriend ok we need to make sure he’s alright and we both know your support is going to go a lot further than my support” and Ellie wordlessly kNOWS EXACTLY WHAT HE’S SAYING. She’s like yeah, of course I’ll go help my man why wouldn’t I. 

I don’t know why but Ellie asking Nick if he’s talked to his “mom and sister” is just so 🥰 I can’t explain this one to you but I love this dialogue ok. Actually I love this whole ensuing conversation. Nick still is bitter (he has every gd right to be), Ellie playing the supportive girlfriend but *tiiiiiniest* bit of devil’s advocate with saying he might be innocent. Once again, so much growth because honestly she knows what it’ll do to Nick if his dad actually *is* a murderer. Like can we for a second imagine if his dad actually was guilty, right? Nick already saw he was like his dad in trivial things like not wanting to sit in chairs. Nick has already had serious, serious doubts to what he’s capable of aka worried he could, if the right buttons were pushed, be a murderer on multiple occasions. Ellie has been there with him for all of that, she knows how low his confidence is when it comes to his perceived “goodness” and she knows just how much it would break him if he learned his direct bloodline IS capable of murder. She knows how he’d spiral if that was true and so she’s gripping to any small possibility his dad is innocent. But nick, oh poor Nick my heart- he’s done. He opens up to Ellie without literally any prodding. He’s baring his long buried soul to her, that troubled, broken childhood that he surely keeps locked away in fear of letting anyone see a weakness. He bares it without question because he feels so safe in her presence he can let her in to see his deepest shame and by extension his deepest worry 🥺🥺🥺 and poor Ellie, she’s a little lost at how to go about helping him because she does have a good relationship with her dad, so yes all she has here for him is saying his father was guilty of a crap dad but it’s because she’s still trying to convince them both he has to be good. He has to be good for Nick’s sake. Buuuuuuut it doesn’t really work does it, because oh shit pissed the fuck off Nick is a site to behold isn’t it 🥵 kicking down doors once again and his smart “still think he’s innocent” oooooooo damn. Ellie’s face says it all- she’s trying so hard to hold out hope for Miguel, so hard. She needs him to be innocent she’s willing to speak it into existence a thousand times but her face is like fuck this is going to kill him and I can’t do a damn thing about it other than just watch. 

More pissed off Nick 🥵 but when you think about it is so so painful, all I can picture is that little 5 year old boy who woke up the next morning waiting, waiting, and waiting. Staring out the window at each car that slows down but ultimately passes. Tugging on his Mami’s shirt asking for the hundredth time when papi is coming back from the bakery with his hojaldre, oblivious to the tears that are slowly sliding down her cheek because she still can’t find the words to tell him what she knows deep down. That little boy who when the sun starts to set the confusion sets in with it. Why hasn’t my papi come back yet? Where is he? He promised. The sadness and sense of rejection that starts to fill his little heart when his mami tucks him and his sister into bed and he asks one final time where papi is and will he say goodnight to them and his Mami has to say she’s not sure when he’s coming home and quietly to the side, “if he’s coming home.” The little boy who weeks later has finally abandoned watching out the window every, single morning. The little boy who had his heart ripped out and thrown to the side of the road when he realized his papi didn’t go to the bakery and instead he was thrown out by his father like a day-old hojaldre. So yeah pissed Nick is fine af but good god the angst underneath is suffocating. Because Nick in this moment doesn’t know the *true* reason Miguel left. He knows what he lived and what he lived is a piece of shit. Nick’s response to “is that what you think of me” is amicable because OOF he could’ve gone the fuck off right there and told him what he really thought of him but he stuck with only a slight dig. TO WHICH MIGUEL. FUCK YOU MIGUEL. IT HASN’T HURT YOU MUCH. FUCK YOU MIGUEL. FUCK YOU. SOUNDS LIKE YOU WERE A SHIT DAD SO YEAH PROBABLY A GOOD THING YOU LEFT. THANK HIM NICK WITH YOUR FISTS BECAUSE HE’S A LITTLE SHIT. FUCK YOU MIGUEL. TOUGHENED HIM UP SO MUCH HE SHUTS EVERYONE OUT. YEAH FUCK YOU. 

And then man here is the point where it all just muddies in Nick’s mind. The poor dude. He knows this line of work, hell he was undercover for almost a decade. He understands how that leaves almost no room for a family. He gets it, so deep deep deep down a tiny part of him realizes why Miguel likely *thought* it was ok to ditch his family. But for thirty years he’s felt abandoned- no reasoning can change that. 

“It’s good to know he was making a nice living while my family was starving” fucking GET HIM NICK. Damn I wish Miguel had been in the room for that. He deserved to hear that one. Ruthless. 

I do not know how I missed this the first time around but holy shit Nick asked to be removed from the case. Nicholas Torres- a man who does not back down. A man who bullied his way into finishing his first ever case with this team that he was arguably way too close to that one too. This is how much pain Miguel brings him. A man who does not quit, not in his vocabulary - was so pissed at getting sent home back when Reeves died, he asks to get sidelined. He actually asks to get sidelined. Holy shit Miguel did a number on Nick and I mean we knew this but 🥺😭😭 poor bby. No wonder you don’t trust yourself in a serious relationship. It’s not the girl you’re worried about it’s you. You don’t think you’re capable of staying, you’re terrified you’ll be just like your dad and leave. once again, you’ve seen the similarities with trivial things and so this just cements your fear of failing at commitment. And this is Nick in just so much pain he asks to step back. oof. I do love Leon stepping into a slight fatherly role for Nick right there though, he shows his support, his pride in Nick and in that moment I think Nick realizes while his father by blood is shit, he’s got several other strong role models in his life that care and that’s why he agrees to work with him. 

Nick’s smarts comment about leaving the note behind 🤣 oh classic Torres move. Also do yourself a favor and pause it on Ellie’s reaction to him. GOLD hahaha she’s like ooo-kay did you really feel the need to say that, let’s not. Honestly I think I’ve given this look to my husband almost daily. They married y’all. 

So married that she overhears Miguel trying to talk to Nick and her hackles raise!!! She’s like hold the fuck up do not traumatize my baby even more, Nick do you need me??? Because I will get you out of this, I will be here for you, I will fight this man, just say the damn word!!!! And Nick ugh, his look. They can communicate with just a simple look, he knows all that she would do for him in that moment and still nods her off, but that tiny bit of gratitude is present. Then we find out that yes Grace is really good at guessing theories “in order to keep his young family safe, it means he has to leave. Of course he can’t *tell* them why he has to leave so that they continue to stay innocent and safe. So he plays it like he’s a deadbeat dude who was “too young” to be a father and is just now realizing it and leaves his wife, little daughter & son behind. Flash forward thirty years and the NCIS case leads them to him. A piece of evidence pops up with his alias, they go knocking down doors to interrogate a potential suspect (Nick’s father) before our lovely CIA agent interfere and claims he’s innocent because he’s a CI…” like DAMN, I’m good. Hahaha any ways the reason I bring this up is because I feel like I predicted/analyzed Nick’s feelings really well back then in this theory and after seeing his expressions, they hold true. Nick is just absolutely warring with himself during this explanation, searching for anything to confirm his dad truly is a deadbeat (and yes he is still absolutely a piece of shit for what he did, but there’s a “good” reason for his leaving and that’s what makes it so- hard.) and as I said when I first broke this down, Nick understands undercover work and his dad (being the POS he is) brings that up to Nick. Like he should “get” it because wouldn’t he do the same thing since he’s in that life? But here’s where (and Nick doesn’t totally realize it yet) Nick and Miguel are different. Because Nick came back, Nick stayed. He stayed y’all and he says it here but he does not realize the implications of his words quite yet. He is NOT the same as Miguel. Yeah he doesn’t like to sit in chairs but he has stayed. He has stayed through some tough shit too but he’s stayed nonetheless. More than Miguel could ever fucking say, that’s for sure. So yes, when Nick has the come to Jesus and realizes that he is not the same as his dad and he can and will stay? Damn I can’t wait for that moment. Also I wanted to slap Miguel when he called Nick “mijo” because BITCH YOU DO NOT GET TO CALL HIM THAT. YOU DO NOT GET TO CALL HIM YOUR SON. NO. “I’m not perfect but I did the best I could” well fuck you too Miguel because look at this broken five year old boy inside a thirty five year old man’s body. Does that look like the product of a “best you could”?? Does he look “ok” to you??? Fuck you. 

But yes here’s my take on where Nick is at: how do you forgive someone you’ve despised for thirty years once you know they “didn’t have a choice” (even though it will always feel like they had a choice or they could’ve explained it to you even if you were only five) and left in reality token you safe and give you a better chance at life? How do you reconcile the real dad and the one you lived with in your head for so long?? How???

And then you’re stuck still reeling from the night before and the bomb that was dropped and the reconciliation you’re attempting to your dad bringing in the ONE THING. The ONE THING he promised to bring home in the morning thirty years prior. How the actual fuck does one come back from that. Can I give another big FUCK YOU to Miguel Torres? Because seriously??? Why do you ever think that’s ok??? Hey I promised my kid I’d bring him hojaldres in the morning for breakfast thirty years ago so may as well make good on that promise right, only thirty years late that’s totally fine right? He won’t tell the difference right?

Fuck you, Miguel. 

And they’re still clearly Nick’s favorite because he’s brought Jimmy to a restaurant specifically for them and that just makes my heart break for the man he had to become without a father. He still held onto that love for them even though they were probably always associated with a horrible, horrible memory of being abandoned 🥺🥺 god damn Nick you’re so broken I’m so sorry. 

Ellie is still as supportive as ever and good god we clearly have lost all pretense of personal space at this point, what is her we don’t know her isn’t this normal for coworkers? But this conversation implies he called her after his talk with his dad and ugh yesssss 😩❤️ I still think he called her immediately after leaving the building, talked the entire car ride home and while getting ready for bed, needing the comfort of her voice on the other end of the line as he worked through his whirlwind of emotions and tried to come down off the cliff he felt himself on. All pretenses of a bad boy with a mysterious flare forever gone, his heart is open for her to see and he doesn’t give two shits about it anymore. But Ellie does a damn good job of girlfriend duties here and not only supports him but also gently prods him to see if he can maybe one day have a relationship with his father. The parallels she brings up makes him think (and also makes him look at her lips twice 👀 he’s just so close to her how could he not I mean right 😅) and I love that she’s still being v supportive but also trying to help him grow. 

And then Ellie giving Nick the option to go with his dad or go to the other location because she’s not going to push anything on him he doesn’t want and then when he chooses the embassy to avoid his dad her reaction had me laughing 🤣 but she respects it. And yet shortly after Miguel tries to team up with Nick and Ellie hears it from the other side of the bullpen, immediately all ears to step in if he wants to avoid him again despite giving him flack for it earlier. Nick can sense her worry and support and this is the moment he takes her advice in just a tiny step and accepts teaming up with his dad. But OMG KILL ME WHEN NICK THINKS HIS DAD IS DEAD BEFORE HE GETS TO TRY AT A RELATIONSHIP AGAIN. HIS WHISPERED “papa’s” I CAAAAAN’T. 

Ugh and then his last conversation with his dad while Ellie is checking on him constantly. It’s just too much, that little boy is back, desperately hoping for his dad to stick around. And Ellie is just so happy she can’t contain it for him and it’s perfect. He walks right to her, her hand on his back because they just need to touch each other after such a heavy couple of days and Nick echoes her advice back at her because he’s showing he listens and he values her insight and I just love it. 

AND THEN MIGUEL HAS COME TO RIP MY HEART OUT BECAUSE HE’S A PIECE OF SHIT REMEMBER. 

My poor bby Nick’s face when he realized his dad LIES AND LEAVES. REMEMBER. HE LIES AND LEAVES. God Wilmer killed it because Nick is literally on the verge of tears and my heart breaks and then yes he goes to Gibbs to see his pseudo-father who he then realizes is more of a father figure than Miguel will ever be and hell that’s okay but STILL. 

I will end this WWR with a I love supportive girlfriend Ellie and another big Fuck You to Miguel Torres.

Goodnight.

[bobbystompy]

My Top 88 Songs Of 2020

Previously: 2019, 2018, 2017, 2016, 2015, 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011

Though we couldn’t get as trim as last year’s 75, still very happy to keep this under 100 for the second year in a row. This was a very difficult year in many ways, but music helped make it more bearable.

As always, criteria and info:

This is a list of what I personally like, not ones I’m saying are the “best” from the year; more subjective than objective

No artist is featured more than once

If it comes down to choosing between two songs, I try to give more weight to a single or featured track

Each song on the list is linked in the title if you wanna check them out for yourself; there is also a Spotify playlist at the bottom that includes the majority of the songs

Usually a pump up video goes here, but 2020 had a different energy, so Michael, take us in.

88) Katy Perry - “Smile”

Even Katy Perry’s good songs are a swirling spiral of maxed out auto-tune. This one is just fine. It’s... fine.

87) All Time Low - “Trouble Is...”

Is All Time Low the Katy Perry of pop punk?

86) Tee Grizzley f/ Payroll Giovanni - “Payroll”

I have never heard of Payroll Giovanni, but I have two questions:

1) Is this his song, and he got Tee to jump on it?

2) Or, did Tee write a song called “Payroll” and think to himself “You know who would be great on this? Payroll Giovanni!”

Favorite stretch:

Listen, we is not the same, you say "door", I say "dough" You say "floor", I say "flow", you say "for sure", I say "fa'sho"

85) Lady Gaga & Ariana Grande - “Rain On Me”

Coming out in 2020 probably hurt this song, because I have no, like, out of the house memories with it. You can only have so much fun with Big Singers Singing over a pulsing beat when it’s coming from the phone in your kitchen as you’re indifferently scrambling eggs.

84) Benjamin Gibbard - “Life In Quarantine”

Now this is a song you can do nothing to; almost feels like it’s reluctant to even exist. It got released in March of 2020, so the outro (“No one is going anywhere soon”) served as a too sad reminder/mantra for what the year was about to be. Second shout out to Gibbard for the many YouTube sets he put together during the early stages of the pandemic (when so many of his peers were trying to figure out the next move).

83) Cardi B f/ Megan Thee Stallion - “WAP”

This felt less like a song and more of a “whoa, did you see the music video?!” and/or a means to relitigate the eternal question “What is the sexual line in music?” And while it was fun to watch people freak the fuck out... the quality itself really needed to be better.

(Note: YouTube video is the edited chorus; explicit version here)

82) McKayla Maroney - “Wake Up Call”

Former Olympic gymnast McKayla Maroney -- of medals and memes fame -- dips her toe into the music waters. It’s inside-the-box modern pop music. One thing that’s hard to escape: it doesn’t really sound like her.

81) Chelsea Cutler - “Sad Tonight”

He vocals really remind me of Alessia Cara.

80) blink-182 - “Quarantine”

Blink doing a Bad Religion impression. Docked a few points for the very weak chorus lyrics (“Quarantine, fuck this disease”). That said, as serious as the song comes off, there are some clever punchlines to be found.

79) Dave Hause & Brian Fallon - “Long Ride Home”

This is kind of a nothing song, but it’s easy listening. Also, if your guitar leads can’t clear the “Could Bobby have written or performed this?” bar, then said leads are probably pretty weak.

78) Travis Scott & Kid Cudi - “THE SCOTTS”

Two artists who pair so well together, it’s hard to tell who exudes more influence on the track (eh, that’s not true, it��s Travis Scott, but Kid Cudi is more of a roommate than guest). They want you to be high by the time the instrumental outro hits.

77) The Strokes - “Bad Decisions”

The beginning sound feels somewhat evolved, but by the time Julian Casablancas croons “Making bad decisions”, the song feels like it could be on their debut album “Is This It?”. And it goes in and out like that from there.

76) Thundercat - “Dragonball Durag”

Thundercat is one of those artists I wish I liked more, but when the occasional track does hit, it’s a momentary glimpse into what real fans seem to always see.

75) TI f/ Lil Baby - “Pardon”

Standard fare. Lil Baby’s cameo is very meh.

74) Porches - “Do U Wanna”

For a song that repeatedly asks “Do you want to dance?”, it sure makes you feel like you’re moving in slow motion.

73) NOFX - “Thatcher Fucked The Kids” 

On the best-named album of the year (“West Coast vs. Wessex”), Frank Turner and NOFX cover each other’s material. To start us off, the legends take a song from 12 years ago about British politics from 40 years ago and, well, very easily apply it to right god damn now in America.

72) The Bombpops - “Dearly Departed”

Ahh, my year’s first cancelled concert. The listed names in V1 always make me want to skip this song -- but patience, grasshopper. Chorus is aight.

71) Ratboys - “Alien With A Sleep Mask On”

This band name will never match what the music sounds like.

70) Rolling Blackouts Coastal Fever - “She’s There”

The vocals in this song channel, like, four completely different singers for me, ranging from Bob Dylan to Cloud Nothings.

69) NOBRO - “Don’t Die”

An anthemic chorus meant to be belted in a room with sweaty strangers.

68) Oliver Tree f/ blink-182 - “Let Me Down”

The original solo version of this song is 1:52, and though the blink cameo pushes it over the dreaded two minute mark, it adds enough diversity to justify the choice (keep an eye out for the quick Green Day lyrical nod in the back half).

67) AJJ - “Normalization Blues”

This dropped in January, and if you thought the year was bad then. Punk News:

I'll admit I do want the album to age badly because I really don't want to have to listen to it years later and still say this is the world we're living in.

Said album being titled “Good Luck Everybody” is straight cryptic.

66) Selena Gomez - “Rare”

Very chill for big pop; triplet rhythm singing in the chorus gets me erry time.

65) Kid Cudi & Eminem - “The Adventures Of Moon Man & Slim Shady”

Cudi’s second split collab yields bigger results than his Travis Scott joint (admittedly with a worse beat here). It rarely ever hurts to let Eminem do the heavy lifting.

64) Alkaline Trio - “Smokestack”

A little cheerier than the average Alk3 song, but Dan Andriano seems like he’s been in a great place for a long time now; confident and in control. For me, the whole song builds up to the “You changed my life” chorus.

63) Frank Turner - “Scavenger Type”

Here, Frank takes on the acoustic closer to NOFX’s legendary 1994 album “Punk In Drublic”. Though the energy boost is most noticeable, my favorite part is how you can hear how much Turner loves this song as his melody bursts on the verses.

62) Mike Posner - “Alone In A Mansion”

Mike Posner, an artist I have a very soft spot for, released a storytelling concept album in 2020. From the intro track:

This album was written, recorded, and produced over a period of two weeks in Detroit, Michigan in my parents' basement. It's meant to be listened to all the way through. At least on the first listen. And it's about 36 minutes long. If you can't devote 36 minutes of undivided attention to this album, I again politely ask that you turn it off and return at a later time. I love you and I thank you for taking the time to listen in the first place. Also, it's important to note that the characters and the stories in this album are completely fictional. In addition, anyone struggling with a mental illness - depression, schizophrenia - should not listen to this album. Turn it off.

So those are the stakes. Pulling this song -- the record’s closer -- feels unfair void of context, but them’s the breaks.

61) Nada Surf - “Just Wait”

Heavy hitting chorus without having to be heavy; this could really work in a movie.

60) Matt Pond PA - “Wild Heart”

This having only 805 views on YouTube is criminal.

59) Liquid Death - “Unnecessary And Unimpressive”

Liquid Death -- in this iteration -- is a punk rock supergroup with members of Rise Against, Anti-Flag, The Lawrence Arms, and The Bombpops. If that didn’t interest you enough, all lyrics in the project (which, I believe, is for charity) come from hateful comments or negative reviews. Of the four artists involved, this sounds most like a Bombpops song, with Jen on lead vocals as others chime in.

58) PUP - “Rot”

Off my silver medalist for album name of the year (“This Place Sucks Ass”), PUP doesn’t do anything new here, but it was relieving to see them still going in 2020 when so many others got roadblocked, both physically and creatively.

57) Paul Harrold and the Nuclear Bandits - “Massanutten”

This reminds me of local Chicago artist Al Scorch. So much earnestness in the vocals, but a little more prairie for Harrold compared to speakeasy for Scorch. This would be a good road trip song. And I’m not talking about singalong... more for the stretch where you want to sit in silence and look out at the sun-kissed land blazing by. The song’s greatest victory is getting me to like something that cracks 6:00.

Note to future me: Massanutten is in Virginia (saved you a Google).

56) Kesha f/ Sturgill Simpson, Brian Wilson & Wrabel - “Resentment”

Kesha has been vulnerable in the past but never this stripped down sonically; the chorus would feel right at home on a country radio station. Love a good bridge, too.

55) Megan Thee Stallion f/ Beyoncé - “Savage (Remix)”

An up-and-comer pairing with a legend rarely lets down when both sides are this locked in. Bey wins. Fav line: “If you don't jump to put jeans on, baby, you don't feel my pain”.

She matches flows with Megan but also brings melody. Her blessing takes this song from pretty damn good to undeniably great.

That beat, too.

54) Red City Radio - “Baby Of The Year”

If all you want to do right now is grab a drink in a bar, here is a video built to troll.

(Also: a Liquid Death cameo?!)

53) Nathaniel Rateliff - “And It’s Still Alright”

The last time Mr. Rateliff had our attention, he just wanted a drink. That hit had a chorus with the very-sad-when-removed-from-the-song “If I can't get clean, I'm gonna drink my life away” lyric. Well, our man got sober since. And when the party is over, the introspection comes.

52) Direct Hit! - “HAVE YOU SEEN IT?”

Listening to slowed down Direct Hit! is like watching Usain Bolt lightly jog. It kinda makes sense because the core action is there, but it also feels sort of incorrect.

51) Hayley Williams - “Dead Horse”

Solo Hayley songs have this feel like they could do anything at any time... but then don’t. This one does the same until a very fun chorus breaks it up.

50) Kid Cudi f/ Phoebe Bridgers - “Lovin’ Me”

Probably the most improbable collab on this list (if 2020 hadn’t repeatedly taught us to not be surprised by anything).

49) The Homeless Gospel Choir - “Don’t Compare”

Listening to The Homeless Gospel Choir is kind of like getting a dedicated pep talk from a good friend... while fire rains down from the sky.

48) Carly Rae Jepsen - “Let’s Sort The Whole Thing Out”

Queen vocals with one prince of a tempo; this chorus is Sour Patch Kids riding Twix logs down a soda pop waterfall -- and it’s a b-side.

47) Green Day - “Meet Me On The Roof”

I like this song because it reminds me of summer and because it doesn’t really sound like Green Day (but still totally does).

46) Broadway Calls - “Meet Me On The Moon”

Promise -- swear -- I was gonna compare this Broadway Calls song to Green Day before realizing they both had titles about meeting in an escalated location. That said, I did put them next together on purpose to more coherently make this point.

45) David Rokos - “Building Bridges”

My buddy Dave wrote this song, and I think I’ve asked him three times what “burning sugar” meant (he says it’s a reference to absinthe). This song will make you want to travel to enjoy not only the places but the people around you.

44) Charli XCX - “claws”

Charli XCX keeps it futuristic in a video that could be described as sexy, cheesy, goofy, and playful-yet-serious.

43) Brian Fallon - “Lonely For You Only”

This is too easy and should not work (and maybe doesn’t). But that chorus... that circular phrasing... it still takes me all the way out. But I’m the same cat who proposed while a Gaslight Anthem cover was playing.

42) Waxahatchee - “Fire”

This song could be in a different language and hit just as hard.

41) Harry Styles - “Adore You”

Purifying pop.

40) Local H - “Hold That Thought”

Hardest rock song thus far. Local H was one of the first artists to play “live” once the lockdown hit (on a simultaneous YouTube/Facebook stream), and watching them attack music in their Chicago practice bunker felt a little bit like taking in the end of the world. New songs, old songs, covers -- it didn’t matter; their cool, unmatched apathy fits a pandemic or peacetime.

Ironically, was able to see them live in 2020, as they played a socially distanced, outdoor drive up concert in a minor league baseball parking lot. It wasn’t the same, but it was still something.

39) Crazy & The Brains - “I Don’t Deliver Pizza Anymore”

This song is just cool*. The verses feel tense and crucial, it starts to unspool in the pre-chorus, and the chorus itself feels like a light comedown more than anything else.

(* -  though the lyric video is docked some points for spelling y’all as “ya’ll”)

38) Drake f/ Fivio Foreign & Sosa Geek - “Demons”

Menacing Drizzy can be very fun from time to time. Also more than happy to keep “Toosie Slide” very far away from this list.

37) Hey Dad!!! - “Life’s Alright”

Small band, big song; though summer feels light-years away.

36) insignificant other - “i’m so glad i feel this way about you”

This song lands a big haymaker in the first few seconds, so it was probably a good call to pull back some for the chorus and, eventually, outro.

35) BTS - “Dynamite”

Heard they made the lyrics bad on purpose for their English hit, which makes sense, because they’re bad. That said, if you listen knowing they’re supposed to be bad, it kinda makes them... good? Listen, 771 million views would have me singing nursery rhymes in Pig Latin.

34) DaBaby f/ RODDY RICCH - “ROCKSTAR”

Someone said this could be the song of the summer, but, because there wasn’t really a summer, I feel like I only heard it once all year. Also, are we really pretending Post Malone* didn’t just do a “like a rockstar” song three years ago?

(* - and N.E.R.D. before that and Cypress Hill before that... though N.E.R.D. only waiting a year after Cypress, so maybe DaBaby actually was patient)

33) The Front Bottoms - “the hard way”

Don’t take it easy on the animal / I am the animal

Not quite sure what this line means, but I fixate on the phrasing every single time. This song sounds resigned in a very self-aware way.

32) The 1975 - “If You’re Too Shy (Let Me Know)”

For a band called The 1975, they sure sound like they’re on their ‘80s shit here. Also, a real thing that happened:

Me: Is he coercing her to get naked?! I thought this band was woke.

/scans lyrics

/notices “She said” before the “Maybe I would like you better if you took off your clothes” line

Me: Ahh.

Sax solo, take us out.

31) Charly Bliss & PUP - “It’s Christmas And I Fucking Miss You”

A song that is already a forever staple on all my future Xmas playlists.

30) 2 Chainz f/ Ty Dolla $ign & Lil Duval - “Can’t Go For That”

Shorty said she love me / I said “I love me back”

This is a real genre blur; rap at its core, but also soulful, funky, and very danceable. Damn creative.

29) Billie Eilish - “Therefore I Am”

Billie's 2020 gave a few singles -- but no new album -- and a body shaming scandal where the backlash to the backlash probably caused more headlines than the tweet that started it all. Still, she stays on cruise control above the clouds; can all eyes be on you if they can’t even make you out?

Video for this is fun, too. Not sure if her running amok in an empty mall is more of a COVID necessity or commentary on the dying retail industry. As always with her, fill in your own blanks for now.

28) Future f/ Drake - “Life Is Good”

This was my most listened to rap song in the first half of the year, and bumping again now, almost forgot how good it is. Drake just chasing one-liner Instagram captions in the first half:

- “Haven’t done my taxes, I’m too turnt up”

- “N****s caught me slipping once, OK, so what?”

- “B****, this is fame not clout, I don’t even know what that’s about”

And, of course, “Workin’ on the weekend like usual”. The man could make anything glamorous. Let’s hit that H&R Block, bro!

Future’s back half is a totally different song and feels mostly like noise, but the vibe is cool, so I don’t even totally mean that in a bad way. You can even make out a “Got Promethazine in my blood and Percocet” lyric to mark your Future bingo card and immediately move on.

27) I’m Glad It’s You - “The Silver Cord”

This song feels like cold air blowing on the back of your neck.

(Sidebar: thought this band was called The Silver Cord until literally right now)

26) The Spill Canvas - “Mercy”

A dreamy, distorted, at-home version of whatever you remember The Spill Canvas sounding like. This song is confessional and at peace, with the Grade A self-loathing we’ve come to love from this band.

25) 100 gecs f/ Charli XCX, Rico Nasty & Kero Kero Bonito - “ringtone (remix)”

100 gecs first hit my radar with the explosively obnoxious “money machine”, but that’s a 2019er, so this remix to “ringtone” will have to do. It’s catchy like a younger sibling persistently singing a song you’re sick of hearing*.

(* - /only child trying to work in sibling analogies)

24) iann dior f/ Machine Gun Kelly & Travis Barker - “Sick And Tired”

Iann Dior -- ...yeah -- channels Juice WRLD on the hook, and MGK/Travis Barker buoy a track that, honestly, doesn’t really even need the help.

23) Nick Lutsko - “Unleash Your Spirit”

Lutsko hit my radar on Twitter with some legendary political anthems (word to the RNC and Dan Bongino + his Dashboard Trump parody). “Unleash Your Spirit” is the song I most fear hearing (or even thinking of) within a few minutes of going to bed. Not because it’s Halloween theme is scary -- because it’s that god damn catchy. It permeates your brain. True story: a week ago, I woke up in the middle of the night with “Bobbing for apples with the boys” so ingrained in my head, it felt like someone was standing there yelling it through a megaphone.

22) Dogleg - “Kawasaki Backflip”

Bad 2020 robbed many concerts from us, and not getting to see this band live might take the cake. I end the year liking them but could have been *all in* with the right performance and the right venue. Also, Song Title of the Year until further notice.

21) Eminem f/ Juice WRLD - “Godzilla”

Eminem has all of the words and all of the lyrical dexterity, but sometimes it feels like there isn’t anything to ground him. Enter: one of the best beats he’s ever spit on and a Juice WRLD hook to give it pop angle. But let’s not put Slim in the corner -- when he starts accelerating at the end, it’s is a true “holy fuck” moment. It sounds faster than if you actually fast forwarded.

The video ends with a touching audio message from Juice WRLD.

20) Soccer Mommy - “circle the drain”

This song is so gloriously ‘90s; it leans in and does not care.

19) Sam Russo - “Always Lost”

The first time I met you, we were on the last bus You passed me a bottle, and I knew you were one of us

Took 25 words to hook me; I was txting friends before the first chorus even hit.

18) Sincere Engineer - “Trust Me”

Deanna Belos pushes her vocals in this one. I asked about the performance, and she said it was one of the first ones they recorded in the studio, but when they were done and listening back to everything, she re-did this track because her throat was much more used to what the song required.

“That’s why it sounds like I’m on roids lol,” she added.

17) Jay Electronica f/ JAY-Z - “Flux Capacitor”

Jay Electronica signed to Roc Nation in November of 2010. At of the start of 2020, he had still -- STILL HOW FUCKING STILL -- not released a debut album. When he announced it was finally dropping in February, it was met with skeptic eyes. He’d “announced” before. Shit, he’d even posted track lists of albums that never saw the light of day. He was a tease’s tease. It ended up getting a release date of March 12. As the pandemic got really bad in the March 11 zone, he finally had an actual reason to delay the proceedings (the plan: a studio live stream listening party*).

But no -- this is Jay Electronica. Why wouldn’t he drop as the world was ending? The same reason why his costar wouldn’t not have a watch like a Saudi prince. It had to end for it to happen. I wish I saved the memes, because they were fantastic. All I have is my own Twitter memory to prove it happened:

I love this song entirely: the “get the gat” hook (soooo New Orleans), Hov calling out the NFL/acquaintances clout chasing his potential death/rapping forever bars, Jay Elect’s ham-fisted and awkward ass Farrakhan line. Everything is exactly where it should be.

Final verdict on the full album: I don’t know, a B or B+? It had a lot more Jay-Z than expected (wooo), but -- and I rarely say this -- it could have actually been longer.

16) New Found Glory - “Greatest Of All Time”

NFG with a song referencing the Jordan-Rodman-Pippen Bulls only a few months before “The Last Dance” aired. Dare we call it marketing genius? The punk beat does not care; the punk beat is too busy taking souls.

15) Dave Hause f/ Amythyst Kiah & Kam Franklin - “Your Ghost”

“I can’t breathe”

On the heels of the George Floyd/BLM protests came Dave Hause’s somber attempt to capture the moment, desperation, and hurt. On a podcast, he said he was aware he might not ever lead the movement but still wanted to contribute something in an effort to use his platform as a white artist to change someone, anyone’s mind going forward.

14) Taylor Swift - “this me trying”

The chorus makes me feel like the crowd is parting like the Red Sea on a high school -- shit, no, middle school -- dance floor; smoke machine and all. Your crush is waiting for you on the other side. What are you going to say?

13) Phoebe Bridgers - “Kyoto”

Phoebe is one of the best lyricists out because of her specificity, but even though this song is about her dad, you can really fit it to your own narrative.

12) The Lawrence Arms - “Last, Last Words”

The Lawrence Arms wrote their new record (which singer Chris McCaughan described as “this end of the world outpost”) prior to the pandemic, but once you start to process album themes -- and research its namesake -- you do wonder. All of this, combined with some “Catcher In The Rye” references, and we’ve got ourselves a winning formula.

Dressed to kill for oblivion 

11) New Lenox - “Fairytale Of Gary, Indiana”

Your boy plays drums and is on the cover art for this one. Dave Rokos wrote the tune, which references The Pogues’ “Fairytale of New York”. Good news: no slurs in the Gary version. We’ll have you in and out in 90 seconds. Also: say hello to the recording debut of Alisa Caruso (some backup vox at the end). 

10) Beach Slang - “Tommy In The 80s”

My most played song of 2020, but it really was more of a byproduct of how early in the year the album dropped. I’m still such a sucker for it, though. Other than forced nostalgia, not totally sure what the track is about. Did learn Beach Slang recruited former Replacements bassist Tommy Stinson to play on their LP, which was named -- /deepest of breaths -- “The Deadbeat Bang of Heartbreak City” (so maybe it has something to do with that).

9) Juice WRLD f/ Mashmello - “Come & Go”

The :55 mark. Wait until the :55 mark. When the guitar kicks in and tempo doubles, we have a real “oh, shit!” moment. I knew who Juice was when he passed but only “Liquid Dreams”. His 2020 album (“Legends Never Die”) showed us of what could have been; 55 minutes, loaded with cameos and creativity and experimentation. This song had me in its gravitational pull immediately. By the end of the year, they were using it on sports broadcasts, and it felt like a ubiquitous part of the culture.

One of my favorite days of 2020 was visiting the Juice mural in Chicago with my wife. We went impulsively during the day after someone posted a picture on Twitter.

I snapped one of my own and posted to IG with the Signals Midwest lyric “There is such quiet grace in private moments in public spaces”. The band responded with “RIP JUICE”; the perfect online exchange.

Shortly after, I was out with a different group of friends, and we went back at night. This time, it was protected by a fence you had to squeeze past. When we got through, there were kids in there smoking, taking pictures, just hanging out; empty liquor bottles lined the bottom of the mural. Even though it didn’t take all that long to make it there, it still felt like a journey and total ‘movie moment in real life’; a complete rarity in a year like 2020.

8) Mac Miller - “Good News”

Maybe I’ll lay down for a little...

Sadly continuing the theme of artists gone too soon, we have this reflective Mac Miller single, which feels more like self-eulogy than traditional rap. You feel it the entire time. The song crests with “There’s a whole lot more for me waitin’ on the other side”, and it conveys a readiness for whatever happens next.

7) The Dirty Nil - “Done With Drugs”

I don’t pray to Jesus or even own a suit

We lost the creators of our last two songs to substances, and, if we are to take this song at face value, The Dirty Nil don’t want to go down the same path. Drying out never sounded so cool and defiant... until the IKEA suggestion.

6) The Weeknd - “Blinding Lights”

Uptempo Abel is undefeated. My favorite pop song of 2020 has you feeling like you’re speeding through the empty streets of nighttime Las Vegas in a stolen car; indifferent to your environment, only tuned in to your personal desire.

And, on the lamer side of the spectrum, it spawned a catchy TikTok dance.

5) Spanish Love Songs - “Self-Destruction (As A Sensible Career Choice)”

It won’t be this bleak forever... yeah, right.

SLS has always been over-the-top with their lyrics spotlighting the hopelessness of the human condition -- so it was the *perfect* combo to being locked inside with nothing looking to forward to. Bonus: fun cake video.

Though the song’s core is uncut despair, a random moment I remember from 2020 was my wife telling me “I can hear you smiling as you’re singing” from another room as I belted the despondent chorus.

4) Worst Party Ever - “False Teeth”

This song sounds like The Front Bottoms; insecure yet so full.

3) Run The Jewels - “the ground below”

There were a lot of songs *about* 2020, but I’m not sure any artist soundtracked what being alive now is like more than RTJ. My favorite rap song and rap record of 2020.

Fav Killer Mike line: “Not a holy man, but I'm moral in my perversiveness / So I support the sex workers unionizing their services”

Fav El-P line: “I'll slap a dying child he don't pronounce my name correct”

2) The Menzingers - “America Pt. 2″

The Menzingers unexpectedly released an acoustic, re-done version of 2019′s “America (You’re Freaking Me Out)” single. It dropped on my birthday -- June 5th, 2020 -- as the rage in this country boiled over and protesters took to the streets. Though some of the lyrics remained the same, the new ones were changed with true purpose:

Well George Floyd was murdered by a cop The whole world saw the video and watched Now justice is long overdue Grab your pitchforks, we’re heading to Pennsylvania Avenue

I had nothing left when the first pre-chorus hit: “I hope the Devil and Donald and Mitch McConnell rot in hell for all tomorrows”. Tattoo this on my fucking soul.

All funds from the song were donated to Community Bail Funds (via Act Blue) & Campaign Zero. I purchased the track before hearing a note.

1) Machine Gun Kelly - “My Bloody Valentine”

Going into the year, I couldn’t tell you the difference between Machine Gun Kelly and Mac Miller -- now they’re both fixtures in this Top 10. All I really knew about MGK involved tattoos and a rap battle lost to Eminem (not that anyone ever beats Eminem).

In 2020, he took a punk/emo turn, with the services of GOAT drummer Travis Barker and new squeeze Megan Fox at his side. This song’s lyrics could potentially be cheesy but aren’t -- they all land. From the simulation going bad to not wanting “fake love” to all the damn second guessing and the earnestness that just won’t let you off the mat.

Every piece to the puzzle adds something: the messy hair, the Ken doll build, the forced iconic pink guitar that now feels actually iconic. It was almost like no one had any fun this year so he could have all of it on our behalf. There’s a half second shot of him sticking his tongue our during the pre-chorus, a joy 99.99% of us never got to feel.

The album itself was just as fantastic*; a 2000′s pop punk throwback with a Halsey duet, horrible skits (hi, Pete Davidson FaceTime), OpIvy lyrical nod (complete with a royalty check), a warp speed punk track that doesn’t even crack the minute mark, your token 6/8 ballad, acoustic closer (about his daughter), and some experimentation that leaves the new genre but still stays nearby; shades of Lil Peep, if he had Blink-182 as his backing band. Speaking of, please do not miss Travis’ fill at the 2:30 mark.

(* - named “Tickets To My Downfall”... woof)

MGK could get cancelled tomorrow, but we’ll always have this year in a bottle. The acoustic version of the song (sung in a lower resister), the 10 minute making of video (that I watched, uh, twice)... shit, he even turned it into a medley at the start of 2021.

It might be cliche to say “stay winning”, but when someone stacks this many W’s with no end in sight, what the fuck else do you call it? Real love.

* * *

Thank you so much for reading. Here is the Spotify playlist (includes 87 of the 88 songs).

[the-shadow-of-atlantis]

Costume Party

A/N Whelp My Friend Got Turned Into A Werewolf is giving me writers block so I started watching Teen Wolf and instead it gave me inspiration for this. Enjoy

Tagging: @melyaliz @speedypan @dilpickledd @coffee-randomness @gobydana

A/N Some characters belong to @melyaliz and others belong to @speedypan

"Typical." Aquata grumbled under her breath as she typed on her phone.

She was annoyed but not mad. What was it with teenagers and always jumping to the word love while dating? That was something she never understood, how could someone throw the word love so casually when you've only been together for a couple weeks. Then of course if you don't say it back you're accused of cheating.

"Well Tammy isn't coming." Aquata announced from her little curtain booth where she changed.

"Why what happened?" Her cousin Britney asked somewhere from her right.

"She just broke up with me." Aquata sighed as she adjusted the sea shell bra she was trying to fill into.

"Harsh." Collin responded.

"Yeah well." Aquata mumbled after realizing Collin couldn't see her shrug.

As soon as she opened the curtain to her little booth her twin sister Shaylee was standing there.

"Are you sure you still want to go to the party?" She asked.

"Yeah." Aquata smiled reassuringly. "Besides I already have my costume on." Aquata said as she twirled. "And the set wouldn't be complete without me."

Shaylee smiled and shook her head. "I mean we could probably try squeezing one of the guys into those leggings."

"We don't have time to squeeze anyone into anything we're already running late." Britney said as appeared from her booth.

"You do realize you don't have to show up on time to parties right?" Collin said as he came out dressed in an identical green arrow costume.

"And you do realize the party is movie or tv show themed? Not dress as your favorite hero from third grade." Britney retorted.

"I'm robin hood." Collin said simply.

"Then why don't you wear a robin hood costume?" Britney asked exasperated.

"Because I don't have a robin hood costume I do however have a green arrow costume which is practically the same thing."

"Okay!" Shaylee interjected before Britney could make a counter argument. "What happened to we're running late? Is everyone ready?"

Everyone emerged from their booths in their various costumes. And Shaylee smiled.

"Great." She clapped her hands and the booths disappeared. "Let's get going."

"Why did we let Britney drive?" Aquata asked as she clutched the handle above the door.

"Because she needs to practice." Said Lisa from the passenger seat. As calm as her face looked Aquata still managed to catch the winces she made when Britney would break to hard.

"What I'm wondering is how you guys talked me into wearing this silly mermaid costume." Antoinette grumbled from the back seat.

"Because Lisa's threats scare me more than yours." May said as she checked to make sure her red hair was styled to perfection. "Also I've been wanting to do this costume ever since I found out Aquata was named after one of Ariel's sisters but she never lets me do it on Halloween."

"Because halloween is meant to have real effort put into costumes not slap on some mermaid leggings and seashell bra and call it a day. Also I can't believe it took you this long to realize I'm named after a fictional mermaid." Aquata said annoyed but still she couldn't help but smile at her friend. She was much too sweet and innocent for this world.

"I'm sure you're the only one who puts a lot of thought into her halloween costume." Lisa said.

"Nah, there's more of us we’re just too spread out."

"So why did you go along with May doing this for a party?" Sofie asked, playing with the fin on her legging.

"Because it's just a costume party in the middle of summer not halloween."

“Well I think its cute.” Mandy said, another one who was too sweet for this world.

"Speaking of party we’re here.” Lisa said and everyone let out a sigh of relief and quickly tried to get out of the car.

“That bad?” Red asked, already waiting to help the girls out of the car.

“Somehow I think she's getting worse.” Aquata said as she stepped down from the car.

Surprisingly the party was in full swing when they entered so they scattered off. Colin of course went to do trick shots at the beer pong table with Eric there trying to one up him only for Lisa to curb stomp both of them. Antoinette and Sofie disappeared to go wreak havoc somewhere. Britney stuck with Shaylee who stuck with May and of course Frank trailed them. Red and Mandy were already on the dance floor which left Aquata alone. Perfect, she needed a drink.

Spiked, spiked, spiked, spiked, why was there a random cup of milk on the table? And why was it spiked? Aquata sighed and rolled her eyes about to go into the kitchen and rummage through the fridge itself when someone held a cup in front of her.

“I swear its clean.” The guy said smiling through his fangs.

It took a while to process his outfit. Fangs that looked a little too real. His black hair was spiked out and he had major sideburns but then it seemed like he was wearing fake hair to almost resemble a beard. He seemed to also glue fur all along his arms that were exposed due to the basketball jersey.

“OG Teen Wolf. Interesting choice.” Aquat said nodding approvingly though she could probably have done a better job on the hair.

“Thanks, my friend thought it was stupid.” He said smiling, Aquata noticed he was still holding the drink in his hand and she took it.

She still tapped her finger on the side of the cup quickly to check if it really wasn't spiked before taking a sip. “Well I will say it's pretty funny considering it's a full moon tonight. So bonus points for that. However if your name is Tyler or Scott I might have to deduct points.”

He slightly winced and Aquata had to stifle a laugh. “Oh gods please don't tell me one of those is your name.”

"Well I mean I could also be named Michael."

"Are you?"

"No I'm Tyler." Then he winced. "Tyler Michaels."

Aquata couldn't help but burst into a fit of giggles.

“Well I shouldn’t be one to talk actually. I’m Aquata.” She introduced herself once she managed to calm down she held her hand out for him to take.

“Aquata… why does that sound familiar?” Tyler asked, shaking her hand.

“I’m named after one of Ariel's sisters. Mom didn't want to be too obvious.” Aquata said smiling.

“Well that explains the mermaid costume.” Tyler said, his eyes traveling up and down quickly.

“Maybe I just like how I look in mermaid leggings.” Aquata shrugged, smiling slyly. “Want to dance?”

“So how did you end up at this party?” Tyler asked getting close enough so she could hear him.

“I know Jeremy from an after school program and also from school. You?”

“I quite literally just moved into the neighborhood. I live a few houses down. I just got the invite yesterday. Hence the costume.”

“So you're gonna go to Gotham High, nice. Guess I’ll see you again in a couple months.” Aquata said, smiling up at him, she wasn't used to being the short one.

"What if I wanna see you before then?" He asked.

Aquata raised an eyebrow amused at his comment. She held out her hand and he stared at it confused.

"If you want to see me before then, you're going to need my number."

It was as if he couldn't believe his line worked. Quickly he fumbled in his basket ball shorts and took out his phone and handed it to her. She quickly put her number in his contacts and handed it back.

"See you next time." She said and turned to find where her friends might be.

"I can't believe you've already got a new boyfriend." May squealed when they were in the car.

"He hasn't even asked me on a date yet chill." Aquata said though she smiled as she looked down at her phone.

Saturday, movie, 7?

Well then looks like she stands corrected but she wasn’t going to tell May, at least not yet. As she began to reply she a loud howl pierced at the air and the car slightly swerved.

“What the hell was that?” Britney asked, her hands gripping the wheel.

“Sounded like a wolf.” Lisa said, peering out her window, her eyes scanning their surroundings.

Goose bumps spread across Aquatas arms at Lisa's comment and she couldn’t help but look up at the full moon. She glanced down at her phone and she looked at it suspiciously. Maybe it was the Wayne paranoia setting in but she was starting to wonder if just maybe her new friend might be a werewolf… cool.

[fnaficsfordays]

Though the Sun is Warm...

Chapter 4

Previous chapter, Next chapter

AO3 Link

Word Count: 2640

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His fingers rapped against the door, leaning back on his feet, other hand in his pocket. He could feel the heat of the fading sun against the back of his neck, the sky slowly turning from blue to orange behind him.

“Do you think he’s home?” The timid whisper came from the person besides him, hands clasped together as they looked at the door.

“Hopefully he is.” He ran a hand through his spiky hair. “I don’t see why he wouldn’t be- if his amount of sleep hasn’t changed, I doubt he would be heading out at a time like this.”

Jeremy gave a small nod. “I just hope he doesn’t take the visit the wrong way.”

“He won’t. Michael knows us, and we know him.” Scott stated. “That’s why we’re here.”

“And you took off your mask.”

“That as well.” He felt a slight smile curl up on his lips as he glanced at Jeremy, cheeks growing warm for a second. “I suppose it’s not so bad.”

“You’d heat up out here, anyways.” He giggled, making his heart quicken for a moment. “With the sun blazing overhead, it would be impossible to find it more comfortable with it on.”

“You’re right, you’re right.” Scott chuckled. “I suppose as long as it’s not around strangers, I wouldn’t mind having it off.”

Their small conversation was cut off as the door clicked, his grin fading slightly. A worn face peered out, eyes flickering between them. “Scott? Jeremy?”

“Good to see you, Michael.” He nodded. “We just wanted to come over and chat.”

“Right... now?”

“Unless you mind.” Jeremy gave a small smile. “Just wanted to check up on you, you know? You really don’t look like you’ve gotten much sleep even though it’s the weekend.”

Michael gave a slight chuckle, though Scott could see the dullness in his eyes. “You’re not wrong there... sleep hasn’t gotten anymore peaceful for me for the past month.” He backed away from the door, leaving it wide open. “Although it might just be the summer heat starting up.”

“That’s what I told Scott about his mask!” They followed him in, Jeremy’s eyes still sparkling. “How did you even make it through last year’s summer?”

“Well enough.” He rolled his eyes slightly. “It was just a slight price to pay.”

“Sure it was. If you didn’t have the night shift, you’d be roasting in it.” Michael’s voice echoed through the hallway.

“I would never let it go that far.” He snorted. “I know when enough is enough.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He sat down in a chair, resting his elbow on the counter. “That’s why you’ve always worn it in the past, huh?’

“It was never in the way. I did my job just fine.” Scott pulled out another chair, sitting in it. Jeremy hopped into another seat as well, next to him.

“Gee, wonder why they hired you.” Michael had a smile on, but he could sense the emptiness behind it. After a moment of silence, he gave a small sigh.

“Michael... how are you really doing?” Scott murmured. “A month of restless sleep has clearly taken its toll on you, don’t try denying it.”

His gaze trailed to the ground, smile dropping. “Yeah... yeah, okay, it has. I’ve just been really tired, not... focusing a lot, but... I hope it’ll get better.”

“Are you sure? It’s been over a month... whatever it is, I don’t know if it’s just going to go away.” He glanced at Jeremy for a moment. “Clearly it hasn’t.”

“Yeah.” He twiddled his thumbs together, biting his lip. “And- and you just seem kind of... kind of sad, especially recently, and we’re... we’re just worried for you, Michael.”

Michael sighed, holding a hand to his head. “It’s... complicated.”

“We’ve got plenty of time.”

“This takes more than just time.” He muttered. “I... it’s something, alright, but... I just... don’t want to think about it right now.”

“Please?” Jeremy leaned forward slightly. “If you’ve been keeping it in for a while, it’s probably not helping. We’ll understand, we promise.”

“Really?” It was a doubtful, hollow question.

“We do.” Scott said. “We’ve... we’ve been there for you in the past, and we’re still here now.”

Michael swallowed slightly, eyes flickering between them. “Well... god, where do I start, I just...” He finally looked back up, gaze wavering slightly. “I’ve been thinking a lot. Thinking about... Vincent.”

Scott blinked for a second. They hadn’t said that name for a while- it had generally been a topic that they didn’t touch after his death. But then again... perhaps it wasn’t very surprising that out of them all, it would be Michael. “About... his death?”

“Kind... of.” His eyes dropped again. “It just... started back up about a  few months ago, it’s just... back on my mind.”

“Are you okay?” Jeremy murmured cautiously. “I-I mean, I know it was... really heavy, especially for you...”

“I can’t... really say that I’m okay without it being a lie, no.” He gave an empty chuckle, shaking his head. “But I don’t know if I can go into much detail about it.”

“Why not try?” He urged. “It’s clearly been bothering you for a long while, and... we want to help.”

“But this isn’t... this isn’t something you guys know.” Michael let out a long breath. “I just don’t know how to describe it, without...”

“Michael, please-”

“I...” He swallowed, and Scott could hear the tremor in his words. “I can’t.”

“Michael...” Jeremy slowly reached for his arm, but he jerked it away.

“Don’t- please don’t make me say it.” He said, breathing growing heavier. “It’s- I just can’t... The memories are just going to return, I...”

“It’s okay.” Scott said. “We said we would understand, and we will.”

“It’s not you, it’s...” Michael gulped, turning his gaze away. “I-I’ll be right back.”

He suddenly stood up from the chair, walking away from the kitchen and to another room. Jeremy moved to stand up as well, but Scott put a hand on his arm, shaking his head.

“Not yet.” He murmured. “I think he needs a moment alone.”

“But being alone isn’t making things better for him, it’s just...”

“I know. But pushing too much isn’t going to help. We need to be patient. And whatever it is surrounding Vincent... It clearly means a lot more than we first thought.”

They waited, his anxiety growing as the moments went by. Was it really just Vincent’s death that was causing this? Michael was hiding something, and even if he didn’t want to pry too much... he was worried. Keeping it in was making it worse, but if it was so important that he didn’t want to tell them at all... Scott could only worry as he waited for him to come back.

“Should we check?” Jeremy muttered. “He hasn’t left the room for a while, he might be doing even worse in there.”

“Maybe... maybe we should.” He began to stand up, slowly walking towards the door. He gave a small knock. “Michael?”

No response. He backed away slightly, biting his lip. “Perhaps we should wait a bit longer-”

“Wait, shh. Listen.” Jeremy murmured, eyes growing wider.

Scott stopped talking, getting closer. He could hear something- no, someone inside.

Sobbing. Broken, muffled sobbing.

He didn’t hesitate to put his hand on the doorknob, turning it open before Jeremy could speak. “Michael-?”

Scott cut himself off abruptly as he saw him. Sitting on the floor against the bed, shallow breaths coming between his fingers, tears streaming down his face. A slightly wrinkled piece of paper was loosely held in his other hand, his brown locks of hair messily falling in front of his eyes.

He seemed to notice them, jolting slightly as he scrambled away, mingled fear and grief in his eyes. Scott carefully walked forward, approaching him carefully and calmly.

“Michael, it’s okay. I promise, it’s going to be okay, you’ll be okay.” He forced himself to have an even tone, as neutral and peaceful as he could manage. “It’s going to be fine, I promise-”

“It’s not.” The broken whisper came from him. “It- you don’t understand, I can’t-”

“Please. We’re here for you, I promise.” Scott bent down in front of him. “You’ll get through this, we will understand.”

Michael shook his head back and forth, hands trembling. “I- I can’t- just-”

“Michael, please-”

Suddenly, he shot up, a wild terror in his eyes. He stumbled slightly as he stood, breathing rapidly as he stared at them. “I- I can’t keep on doing this.”

“Michael-”

“You don’t understand.” It was a ragged whisper. “He- I could have saved him, if I knew sooner and if- if it didn’t take so long for me to- for me to feel like this, it took his- his own death for me to realize, but I was too late and- and now-”

“Michael, whatever it was, it’s not your fault.” Scott said, starting to stand back up as well. “It’s going to be okay, I promise, just calm down-”

“It’s not okay, Scott, it’s-” He swallowed, starting to back away. “It doesn’t leave my head, I could have- if I wasn’t so stupid and I- I might have been able to save him- but-”

Michael choked, starting to turn around. “I- I need to go.”

“Wait, Michael-”

“Leave me alone!” The broken sob suddenly burst out, and he shoved him aside, rushing out the doorway. Scott stumbled, nearly falling back down. Jeremy barely caught him, helping lift him back into balance. He stared at the doorway, shock preventing him from straight up running after him.

“Michael!” Jeremy protested anxiously, concern showing in his eyes. “Please just- we want to help!”

No response. A pit of dread formed in his stomach as he moved towards the doorway, sucking in a breath to call out when something crinkled underneath his foot. Briefly deterred, Scott froze, staring down at what he’d trodden over.

A letter, filled to the brim with inked in words. “What’s… this?” He murmured, picking it up.

“What?” Jeremy glanced over at him. “But where’s Mi-”

“He needs a minute to cool off.” He shook his head, still staring at the words. “And… I have a feeling this has more information than he let on.”

“A-Are we going to read it?”

“I am, at least.” But the worries only deepened the further he began to read. Michael… What is this all?

       Dear Michael,        I really don’t know how to start this. If it weren’t for the fact that I don’t know how long I have left, I probably wouldn’t be writing this at all. But if anyone else should know, it’s you. Because as much as this is about me, it’s just as much about you.        I just have to cough it up, huh? There’s really no point in trying to beat around the bush on this. The thing is, I caught feelings. For you. It’s so easy to say at this point, even though I always thought it would be so much harder, but again, there’s no point in trying to hide it now. I fell in love with you.        I know, it sounds impossible. The insane, deranged person that didn’t hesitate at the sight of a corpse, falling in love? Surprised me too when I realized. But, no, it’s real. It’s the realest thing to ever exist while I’m writing this. But I think you can tell this isn’t just some confession. I know you don’t feel the same way, and that’s probably the whole reason you’re finding this. Falling in love with you came at a price.        I found out after visiting the doctor’s office, and as insane as it sounds, I had a disease. Hanahaki Disease. I don’t know how emotional pain can suddenly turn into physical pain, but it was real. There’s apparently been cases of it before, and I was another. It’s caused by one-sided love, and the main symptom is flowers growing in your lungs. It causes a lot of pain in the chest, especially around the lungs and heart, and you constantly cough up the flowers, which is even more painful. Eventually, given enough time, you suffocate and die.        The doctor did tell me that there were two ways out, though. The first option was an expensive surgery to physically remove the flowers and roots from the lungs, completely getting rid of them. The second option was to get you to fall in love with me too, which would make the flowers fade away. But it wasn’t hard to realize that I couldn’t do either. The surgery was apparently really expensive- and the doctor also explained that it would get rid of my feelings towards you too. Maybe the last part sounds like nothing, but I wasn’t so sure. And as for the second option... Well, I think you can tell that it just wouldn’t happen. I’m the last person that you’d ever fall in love with, no matter how understanding and standardless you are.        So, I just went with nothing. It’s not fair, sure doesn’t feel like it. Most of which not to you. Because I do love you. I never felt anything like it before- you probably figured that out, especially after I told you about my so-called childhood. But it almost felt like I was regaining a bit of sanity in these past few months, as painful as it was. And I kind of wish that things ended sooner. Maybe before I completely let my mental state go, maybe before I decided to get involved at all with the pizzeria... The things you only realize when you’re so close to death, you know? But I don’t think I would choose a better fate. Sure, it hurt knowing that you would never return the feelings, but still. I love you enough to be okay with that. I hope that you’ll find something other than the pizzeria, no matter how far away in the future. Because you deserve it. You deserve better.        Love, Vincent.

Scott didn’t notice the silence, the words swimming in his mind. He was barely aware of Jeremy’s own shallow breathing besides him, eyes wide as he glanced over. He didn’t even know how his own face looked, but he knew it was stock-still with shock.

“Oh my god...” He whispered shakily, hand moving to cover his mouth. “He… they… god, Michael, what have you done?”

Jeremy was speechless, only backing away from the paper like it was on fire. Scott could barely do more than set it back down on the bed, trying to slow back down his heart rate.

So that was it. That, all of that… was why.

His gaze slowly dragged upwards from the letter, mouth opening to face Jeremy. But it snapped shut as soon as he did, seeing the lack of his figure from the room. Shoving the letter out of his mind, he darted back out of the bedroom, glancing around. “Jeremy?”

“Scott, he’s gone.”

He stiffened at the unusually stark words. “What-”

“H-He left. I didn’t- I didn’t see him, but he’s just gone.” Jeremy was pointing a shaky finger at the doorway they had first come through. It was wide ajar, the fading dusk light seeping through the opening.

“I- Are you sure?” Scott walked forwards, peering out into the open. “I- He’s- He didn’t even take his car…”

“What now?” He whispered. “If he was headed anywhere, then we-”

“Come on, then.” He slipped the keys out from his pocket, eyes fixing on the car they’d arrived in. “We’d better track him down before night falls.”

“Do you think we can?” Jeremy gulped.

“We have to.” His grip was firm around the wheel as he started up the engine, trying to ignore his pounding heart as he flexed his fingers. We promised.

[dearericbittle]

Sterek masterpost

So, now that I’ve written 30 (!) Sterek fics, I figured it was about time that I made a masterpost of my stories. You can find the full list on my Tumblr as well!

Been here before and it just feels right (strangers tonight) - (T, 3.4k) Summary: Derek Hale was an awkward teenager, but he grew into himself. He grew out of that pulling pigtails phase. Shame that being reunited with his old crush brings it all back. Even worse: Stiles doesn’t even seem to recognize him. Or does he?

Better that I break the window (than miss what I should see) - (M, 9k) Summary: Someone opened Stiles’ window. But he’s all the way on the 7th floor - how the fuck did that happen? Spoiler alert: werewolves are real. And really hot.

Bring on the monsters (bring on the real world) - (E, 11.1k) Summary: He was supposed to be making an impression on Lydia, but instead he’s making fun of a terrible werewolf costume. To be fair, those mutton chops remind him of Michael J. Fox in the worst way, and the guy didn’t appear to be too offended. He was too busy smelling Stiles for some reason. He really shouldn’t have forgotten cologne.

but that’s just a first impression (I could be totally wrong) - (T, 2.9k) Summary: Derek is on a really awful blind date (Laura will pay for this). But the waiter is really cute.

The coolest wolf in the whole wide world - (T, 8.3k) Summary: Stiles is surprisingly good at being a wolf. Like, super good at control, loves the drama of making weird entrances, and determined to try all the things. Because he has to find out what’s different about being a wolf. And Derek is going to be his Yoda, whether he wants to or not. Only Stiles is pretty sure Yoda never smelled this good.

Detective Stiles Stilinski and the Case of Derek Hale’s Mysterious Mate - (T, 5.6k) Summary: Mates are a thing. A werewolf thing. Which is fine and shit, but finding out that Derek fucking Hale has a mate? That gets to him. And seeing as Derek won’t tell him who it is, well… Guess that means this is a job for Detective Stiles Stilinski - if he’s not too distracted by his traditional banter with Derek.

Everything mixed up (and baked in a beautiful pie) - (T, 6/6, 42k) Summary: Stiles’ friends are more of a pain in the ass than usual around the holiday season. Just because he spends all of his time at his bakery, doesn’t mean he’s unhappy. So hiring a fake boyfriend seems like the perfect, simple solution. Instead Stiles stumbles onto a stupid quest to make Derek Hale happy. But surely that will all work out in time.

Fit hot guys have problems too (don’t objectify us with your male and female gaze) - (T, 1.7k) Summary: To Cora, 1:24 AM: im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect?? Derek is tired of being objectified. Enter Stiles Stilinski, hot mess who has an opinion about everything. Derek is surprisingly intrigued.

Gymnophoria - (T, 0.9k) Summary: Stiles is paranoid - he keeps feeling someone’s eyes on him. Surprisingly, no nefarious plans happen.

He got lost in my DMs (wanna be way more than friends) - (T, 2.8k) Summary: Derek is somewhat of an online hero, providing candid pictures of himself to anyone who wants persistent suitors to just go away already. Stiles… is suddenly surrounded by assholes who apparently really want to hear about how great his fake boyfriend is. Part 1 of Slide into those DMs

Heard you were tough (but you don’t look it) - (T, 3.6k) Summary: Derek is a protective Alpha, and whenever he sees a human in danger, he has to step in. Usually people are grateful. This guy? Not so much. 3 times Derek saves that ungrateful magic user’s life, and 3 times the ungrateful asshole saved his in return

Here we are two strangers (with nothing but this little spark) - (T, 6k) Summary: Stiles is only at this masquerade party for revenge. Theo Raeken has taken everything from him, and this is the only way he can get close enough to ruin his fucking life. He gets sidetracked by a mysterious stranger who’s looking for revenge of his own. Maybe they can help each other…

I might never be (your knight in shining armor) - (T, 2.9k) Summary: So, in Stiles’ defence, he didn’t actually know that the woman harassing the dude-sel in distress was an actual witch. Or that the dude in question was an Alpha werewolf who claimed to be able to handle himself. Stiles agrees to disagree on that one.

I take this magnetic force of a man (to be my lover) - (T, 6k) Summary: Derek is pretty happy with the mate he’s somehow chosen, even though Stiles has no idea - and no interest in Derek. But that’s fine. Except Peter just has to open his big mouth, because he clearly wants to ruin Derek’s life. Part 2 of Laura Hale is the best Alpha

I’d be a fearless leader (I’d be an Alpha type) - (T, 7.8k) Summary: Most teenagers would run off if they found a bleeding half-wolf, half-lady with red eyes snarling at them. But Stiles’ fight or flight response has always been a little fucked, and Laura Hale looks like she could use a break. Part 1 of Laura Hale is the best Alpha

I’m gonna light a spark (gonna hold my breath until the morning) - (T, 2.5k) Summary: Derek hates the bus, hates how people use it as an excuse to sit close to him and bat their eyelashes at him. And then this stranger who smells like home just falls asleep on his lap.

Lie under different stars (I’ve not seen you in the flesh for so long) - (T, 3,4k) Summary: In which Laura Hale is a queen of holding on to childhood mementos and seeing things her brother won’t, and Derek Hale rediscovers his love of Mischief.

The man who’s gonna marry you (make you feel alive) - (T, 4.2k) Summary: Only Finstock could marry the wrong people. Only Greenberg could fill out the papers wrong, but Finstock didn’t even check. It was like he wanted Stiles to be married to Derek Hale. And no one would want that, except maybe… Stiles.

No more dark sad lonely (k)nights - (T, 2k) Summary: Derek is an Alpha without an emissary, so his nosy betas made sure he attended the convention. Stiles is clearly in the wrong convention hall, because his Batman cosplay does not appear to be going over well.

Old you in the garbage (new you in display case) - (T, 13.4k) Summary: Stiles is lonely and desperate and suffering from a crush on the grumpiest librarian. So what’s a boy to do but cook up a ridiculous plan to get himself dated and/or finally get laid before the holidays? He just wants his She’s All That moment, okay? He never expected that the plan would actually help him get the guy.

Real life isn’t a movie (life doesn’t make narrative sense) - (M, 11.6k) Summary: Somehow accidentally insulting a hot guy in a coffee shop leads to pretending to be his boyfriend in front of a house full of werewolves. Stiles Stilinski is living his best life and making the most of his Hallmark movie moment.

Shoot your shot when you see em (he’s already in my DMs) - (T, 3.9k) Summary: Derek may or may not be falling in love with one of Laura’s employees, and he’s only ever spoken to him on the phone. Stiles doesn’t even know his name! But apparently, he does know how to slide into his DMs. Part 2 of Slide into those DMs

Some Cupid kills with arrows (some with mistletoe) - (T, 9.5k) Summary: It’s the same thing every time. Derek Hale comes home, the town is in a snit, and Stiles Stilinski polishes his metaphorical armor and gets ready for a battle of wits. Not that he considers Derek’s comments particularly witty. Their friends are just tired of the sexual tension and the rampant egos, and they’re ready to do something about it.

Such great heights (corresponding shapes like puzzle pieces) - (T, 3.3k) Summary: In which everyone in the pack is together and alive, because fuck canon. In which Stiles is surprised that Derek’s super hearing fails him. He just wants to know how tall Derek is, why is that such a big deal?

Teach me how to thrive (i was a loser just like you) - (T, 4.9k) Summary: Scott was cool now - the Squip had made sure of that. Stiles? Not so cool. All he has left are his cryptic conversations with perpetually wasted Derek Hale as he desperately tries to get an evil computer chip from taking over Beacon Hills.

We were young once (innocent and fun once) - (T, 5,3k) Summary: So maybe making Lydia jealous is just an excuse for him to finally talk to Derek Hale - it’s been ten years and clearly that high school crush is not over. There’s just a lot more to Derek than he was expecting.

We’ll put on a show (Scotty has to know) - (T, 7.7k) Summary: Stiles is a stubborn asshole, determined to have fun in Europe even though Scott stays behind in Belgium because of a girl. So asking a stranger to make out with him for the ‘Gram? Totally the best decision he’s ever made, and not just because that’ll totally show Jackson (and Scott!). Shame he won’t see the guy again, though.

What it looks like to forget (it’s easier that way) - (T, 4.9k) Summary: He has no idea who he is, but the stranger with the whiskey eyes is calling him Derek. And the guy has been sitting at his bedside for three days, so he’s got some credit. Especially because the guy smells like he should be his - though that is a supremely weird thought that he probably needs to figure out first.

You want forgiveness (I’ll give that to you) - (T, 2.8k) Summary: Derek is running from the Alpha, suffering from wolfsbane poisoning and he’s clearly losing it. Why else would he be seeing his mother - and everyone else he might as well have killed himself. But Stiles can’t just let him get what he deserves. Stiles never leaves him behind, even when he should.

You’re moving me around you (I said darling hold me) - (T, 14,5k) Summary: Derek is the only beta in a pack of two, blaming himself for the loss of their entire family. When his sister pays someone to get him used to human contact again, Derek preps himself for a couple unwilling handshakes before he kicks the stranger out of his den. Stiles is… not what Derek expected.

[xx-autmnlvr-xx]

In this mountain town chapter 1 (reupload)

I posted this on @willthenewkid but I finally got an idea for the name and aldo-crangle confirmed the name for me :) so I decided to reupload it onto here!

Fandom: South park

Genre: drama/romance

----+----------+---------++--------+-----

Life never had much for me. I had that feeling for 7 years. Why I haven't committed suicide, I really don't know. I would like to think it's a sign that someone cares. That a force in the sky has a plan for me; but I know better. He's there, but he doesn't care. Why would he? With despicable wants and violent tendencies.

Then there's me. I always chase something to forget my past, to forget everything. It works most of the time, but when the high is lost I hurt worse than before. So, I keep searching.

As soon as my back hit the couch cushion I looked at my cell and cursed.

"What's up?" A chick asked, taking a hit on her edible.

"I gotta get going, school begins in 4 hours."

"Dude, I thought you was on summer vaca." A lanky guy asked, wiping his nose and sniffing.

I groaned, closing my baggy and putting it in my pocket.

"It was, it ended yesterday."

Pete took a drag of his cigarette.

"I actually forgot about that. Damn, I guess that means I have to go too."

"When you two coming back?" The woman asked.

"Hell if I know, you gotta go to work tonight anyway so why does it matter?" I scoffed, putting on my jacket.

"FUCK!" She screamed, scampering to her phone.

I took the distraction to slip out of the abandoned house we hung out in. I sighed and cleaned off some of the coke from under my nose and began walking toward my house. As I walked I heard Pete walk out of the building and to his house.

"See you later, conformist." He called, joking.

"Bye, goth." I replied, smiling a little.

I felt myself tense as I approached my house. I didn't want to go inside but I needed to change. I opened the door and closed it softly, turning around to find my father sprawled out on the carpet with containers and papers everywhere. I let out a breath of frustration and went to my room. I picked out some clothes for the day and put them on. A pair of skin-tight grey jeans and a black hoodie. I grabbed the coke baggy that was in my pocket and placed it in my nightstand drawer.

My door opened and my father came in, "H-hey, scamp. Where have you been all night? I w-was worried sick!"

"Why do you care?" I rolled my eyes and zipped up my backpack.

"Because I'm your dad? Why shouldn't I worry when my son doesn't come home?"

I feigned innocence, "oh, I thought you wouldn't notice because you was busy puffing your life away."

I saw him get upset, "don't you talk to your dad like that! You're the child, I'm the adult! You're supposed to show me respect!"

My eye twitched, "why should I respect someone that doesn't respect me?"

"You're just like your mother. Judging me but not judging yourself! Just fly away, your highness!" He yelled.

"Don't you EVER talk about mom like that!" I argued back, putting my backpack on and pushing past him,

"She was a hundred times the person you would ever be!"

"Then why did you kill her?" He snapped. The sentence pinched a nerve in my chest. I ran, making my way down the stairs and out the door. With my back on the door I looked at a blade of grass and fought back tears. I sighed and looked to my left when I heard a door open.

I caught sight of butters leaving his house, I noticed a bruise on his cheek.

"Hey, will! How are you this morning?" He called out, smiling like he always does.

"I'm fine." I answered, waving. Kenny came up to butters and started talking to him. I used the opportunity to start walking to school.

It has been six years since I came to this town. A lot of us are in tenth grade now. Some have been held back because of the horrible teachers. Some have moved away from the toxicity of the town. I don't blame them. I would move away too, if it wasn't for....

"Hey! Wait up!" A voice called out to me, I stopped, feeling myself shiver from his voice. The voice that held so much meaning to me. I took in a breath before turning around.

"Scott, how are you?"

He smiled, coming up to me, "I'm fine! I didn't see you any this summer, where were you?"

"Well I've been working." I said, putting my hands in my pocket, playing with the seams.

"That's weird, I've been to every shop and I haven't seen you."

"It's a night shift." I quickly informed him.

"Oh lucky! I still can't go out at night, because my parents think I'll end up getting mugged."

I smiled softly, "yeah, that can happen. They're just keeping you safe."

He huffed, "but I'm 15, I should be able to go out whenever I want!"

I looked at him and turned around, beginning to walk again, "maybe I'll talk to your parents to let you spend the night and we can sneak out."

"You would? Oh thank you, Will!" He got excited, smiling, following me.

When we got to the school, everyone was crowded around the schools bulletin board.

"What's going on?" Scott asked Nelly.

She was beaming with excitement, "we're going to have a fall dance!!!"

I tilted my head, "but isn't it the first day?"

"Yeah!!! The principal said that the best way for us to stay focused is if we let all our socialization and excitement out on a dance floor!" Bebe said, turning to us.

Scott and I sighed at the sound of a dance. But I know we sighed for different reasons. After the doorway cleared, Scott walked to his locker. I followed him.

He looked at me when he got to his locker, "my locker's 156, which ones yours?"

I looked at the slip of paper, "65"

His smile faded, "what?! We're not next to each other?!" He said, distressed.

"Hold on." I calmly assured, I looked at the locker on the other side of him and saw a guy with red hair open it, I walked around Scott and tapped the guys shoulder.

"Hey, here, take my locker." I commanded, holding my number out.

"Why should I do that?" He asked, looking at me firmly.

I made a step toward him, "it's by the teachers lounge so you can stay safe from the assholes. You can either take my locker or have a trash can be your locker." I stated. He made a noise and took the number, taking his books with him. I threw my bag in my new locker and closed it.

"Dang, Will. You didn't have to be so mean to him." Scott said, staring at me, concerned for the guy.

"Well he shouldn't have asked questions." I shrugged but I felt bad. Not because of the ginger, but because Scott didn't like it.

"So, what are your classes?" I quickly changed the subject.

He looked at his schedule he taped to his door, "geography homeroom, gym, trigonometry, English 10, earth and space, and french. You?"

I looked at my phone and let out a puff of air.

"We only have one class together. English."

"Aw that sucks" he said, sighing.

After we talked some more, the bell rang and a wave of teens ran to their classes.

"Well see you later, Will." Scott said, smiling.

I did finger guns, "see you in English, captain diabetes."

He laughed before walking away. I smiled and breathed deeply. I would never admit out loud that I loved him, but I repeat it in my head a lot. Every fiber of my being wants to be with him, but it's hard when I know he's straight. I sighed and walked to first period.

"Good morning, class. My name is Dave and welcome to algebra 2. I will not accept jokes and tardies. So if you're late you'll be sent to the office and if you try any wisecracks, you'll be removed from my class. Understood?"

None of us answered.

He continued, "now let's go around the room and introduce ourselves."

I groaned at that sentence and put my head on my desk at the back of the room.

"Let's start with you." He said. I heard a kid on my right clear his throat.

"My name is Mark and-" he began talking, I couldn't really hear him though, my mind was on the dance and how I could possibly talk Scott into going with me.

After school I went to the back of the school to have a smoke.

"Hey, will." Pete greeted me, sitting beside Michael.

"Hey, Pete. Guys." I acknowledge, nodding to the others as I reached in my backpack for a cigarette. They greeted me back.

"You seriously still attending class?" Henrietta scoffed, looking at my papers and notebooks that's in my bag.

"Well I want to graduate so I can leave this fucking town. Don't you?" I huffed. I was having trouble finding my lighter.

"You got me there. But I could always get my GED over at one of the big cities." She took a drag from her cigarette.

"Here." Firkle said, throwing me his matches. I thanked him and lit my cigarette, passing him his matches back.

"I'll tell you what, these conformists are plaguing this place more and more." Michael brooded, flicking some ashes.

"It makes me wanna implode into meat chunks." Firkle agreed.

I rolled my eyes. They always got to mention something about conformists, "so, you still wanting to be a coroner, Michael?"

He smiled at the thought, "Yeah. Took an internship over the summer. You still selling yourself?"

I flicked my ashes "I gotta earn money somehow. My father sure isn't gonna feed me."

"How does it feel having sex with strangers?" Henrietta asked, smirking.

I shrugged, "it's fine. Most of them just focus on their own need but they pay me good." They nodded

"Well at least they do that." Pete added.

There was silence for a moment. I praised the silence. The subject wasn't on me anymore. I wouldn't tell them if they were anyone else. That's one thing about the goths, they keep quiet about subjects their friends talk about. I respect that.

Firkle received a text and put out his cigarette.

"I have to go. Ike wants me at the second-hand shop."

"Have fun." Henrietta answered. Firkle stood up and walked off, his chained boots clinking with every step.

"I have to go too. Scott wants to discuss plans for the dance." I said, trying to smoke the last of my cigarette in one puff.

"Who are you going with?" Pete asked.

"Hell of I know." I shrugged.

Walking off I thought about Scott walking in the dance with me. Then I would find the nerve to ask him to dance. He'd be embarrassed and mess with his shirt. We would dance and my eyes would lock with his. I daydreamed about it until I got to his door.

I took a couple breaths and rung the doorbell. Scott answered and smiled.

"Will! Come in, mom made snacks do you want any?"

"No, I'm fine. Thank you, though." I replied, smiling.

We went upstairs to his room and he began showing me outfits.

"I was thinking of wearing my purple button up and black dress pants but I don't have a tie that matches."

"Well do you have to wear a tie?" I asked.

"Well I was thinking that maybe a girl will come up and pull me by the tie and I really would like for that to happen." I felt my body tinge with the word 'girl' and feigned a smile.

"Well then does your dad have a tie that matches?"

"I don't know. I'll check. So you think I should wear this?"

"I think it would look great on you." I nodded.

"So who are you gonna ask?" He said, sitting beside me.

"uuh don't know," I replied quickly, shrugging, "you?"

"I don't know, maybe red but I doubt she'll accept. Then there's Nelly. I have no idea. I guess whoever agrees." He thought, looking at his ceiling. I nodded.

"Hey, want to play video games?" He asked suddenly. I smiled.

"Does a dog shit?" I replied. He laughed and went to his video games. We spent the rest of the day playing super smash Bros.

We was on twelve out of sixteen when we heard a female voice.

"Scott, honey! It's time for dinner!" Mrs. Scott said. He looked at the clock; 6:00

"Oh, I didn't realize it was that late," he looked at me, "sorry, will but mother has a problem with people eating dinner with us since Cartman."

I smiled, "it's okay. You enjoy dinner. See you tomorrow?"

He smiled back, "of course! See you at school."

I stood up and went down the stairs, saying goodbye to his parents and leaving the house. It felt like I was filled with hot sauce, I was shaking with the need to tell Scott how I feel. I did some calming breaths and checked my phone.

[eddycurrents]

For the week of 7 October 2019

Quick Bits:

Batman & The Outsiders #6 concludes “Lesser Gods” from Bryan Hill, Dexter Soy, Veronica Gandini, and Clayton Cowles. We get another “Batman’s doing something naughty” hint as Ishmael and co attempt to turn Cass and Duke to Ra’s al Ghul’s cause. This is less a hard end than a twist to lead into what might be coming next.

| Published by DC Comics

Black Hammer / Justice League: Hammer of Justice #4 gives us an explanation for what the Stranger did to zap the heroes across their respective realities, even as the more hot-headed Justice League members continue to cause problems on DC’s Earth. I’m still loving the eerie darkness that Michael Walsh is bringing to the art. It keeps it more consistent with the feel established by Dean Ormston and Dave Stewart, making it feel more like a Black Hammer story.

| Published by Dark Horse & DC Comics

Blade Runner 2019 #4 concludes the first arc. Michael Green, Mike Johnson, Andres Guinaldo, Marco Lesko, and Jim Campbell have done a great job capturing the overall feel of the Blade Runner franchise and it pays off here with one hell of a harrowing end, with a nice twist for what’s to come.

| Published by Titan

Buffy + Angel: Hellmouth #1 begins the event in earnest, even though you really do need to read the prelude issue of Buffy the Vampire Slayer to get the real first part of this story, from Jordie Bellaire, Jeremy Lambert, Eleonora Carlini, Cris Peter, and Ed Dukeshire. It’s good. As Spike and Dru’s first step in opening the Hellmouth causes havoc through Sunnydale, Buffy and Angel team up to try to stop what’s coming next.

| Published by BOOM! Studios

Catwoman #16 has some truly stunning, beautiful artwork from Joëlle Jones and Laura Allred. It might also have a huge change on Selina’s status. Though, how exactly it fits in with “City of Bane” or anything else is anyone’s guess. Still, very nice artwork.

| Published by DC Comics

Coffin Bound #3 is even darker and more disturbing than what we’ve seen in the first two issues, going deep into some of Izzy and Cassandra’s past, while Cassandra’s sister learns how to be a peeler. Dan Watters, Dani, Brad Simpson, and Aditya Bidikar are doing something very different with this series.

| Published by Image

Collapser #4 feels like both a test and a turning point for Liam, one that almost seems like he failed. Liam’s new manager turns out to be a “Star Person”, and it feels like she’s leading him into temptation, as we seemingly can’t trust what we see. Mikey Way, Shaun Simon, Ilias Kyriazis, Cris Peter, and Simon Bowland are continuing to delivering one of the best, strangest trips out there.

| Published by DC Comics / Young Animal

Contagion #2 keeps this largely street-level, only reaching out to the Avengers as more or less support for the moment, as Iron Fist tries to deal with further eruptions of the contagion. Ed Brisson, Stephen Segovia, Veronica Gandini, and Cory Petit certainly make this feel grim as everything continues to go wrong.

| Published by Marvel

Detective Comics #1013 reveals more of what Mister Freeze has been up to, pushing some rather disturbing experiments as he continues to try to find a cure for his wife. Including a rather troubling cliffhanger that looks like it might upend a lot of what we think we know about Freeze’s situation. Very entertaining story here from Peter J. Tomasi, Doug Mahnke, Keith Champagne, Christian Alamy, David Baron, and Rob Leigh.

| Published by DC Comics

Doctor Doom #1 is an offbeat debut from Christopher Cantwell, Salvador Larroca, Guru e-FX, and Cory Petit. While it shows us some of the day to day runnings Doom does for Latveria, it sets up a mystery as his countries missiles and more launch an attack on a moon project designed to lower greenhouse gas emissions. Nice bits of humour in this one.

| Published by Marvel

Edgar Allan Poe’s Snifter of Terror - Season Two #1 is a welcome return of this series, with a fun lead story playing through many of Poe’s luminary tales in “The Tell-Tale Black Cask of Usher” from Dean Motter, Alex Ogle, and Julie Barclay. Really great seeing new work from Motter. This issue is rounded out by the usual poetry, prose pieces, and the return of Hunt Emerson’s Black Cat.

| Published by Ahoy

Event Leviathan #5 works further at the identity of Leviathan, throwing a few more suspects on the fire, along with the possible death of an important character. Also, you’re probably never going to guess who this issue points at being Leviathan. Gorgeous artwork from Alex Maleev as always.

| Published by DC Comics

The Flash #80 continues to dismantle the new forces and characters built up recently as Zoom and the Black Flash separately try to eliminate the force users. Great art here from Scott Kolins and Luis Guerrero. Kolins is the perfect choice to usher in this next stage in Zolomon’s story.

| Published by DC Comics

Gotham City Monsters #2 is even better than the first issue, working through Melmoth’s resurrection and gathering the team with invested purpose to bring about his end. There’s also added depth in that Melmoth may very well be right about part of his plan, just not necessarily in his execution. It could add some modicum of moral quandary depending on which way this goes. Steve Orlando, Amancay Nahuelpan, Trish Mulvihill, and Tom Napolitano are doing some very nice work here.

| Published by DC Comics

Harley Quinn & Poison Ivy #2 continues the confrontation with Woodrue, building on elements from Justice League Dark, even as something is very, very wrong with Poison Ivy. There’s a more refined, controlled humour here than what we see in the Harley Quinn series itself and it seems to fit the more serious tone of the subject matter. I’m really liking the art from Adriano Melo, Mark Morales, and Hi-Fi.

| Published by DC Comics

Hawkman #17 brings Carter’s battle with the Shadow Thief to a close, but he takes a turn for the worse as the title runs deeper into the “Year of the Villain” event and the fallout from The Batman Who Laugh’s infected. It’s interesting how Robert Venditti, Pat Olliffe, Tom Palmer, Jeremiah Skipper, and Richard Starkings & Comicraft deal with these multiple spinning plates. Especially that very nice cliffhanger.

| Published by DC Comics

Ice Cream Man #15 is one of the stranger issues, which is really saying a bit considering that the series itself is regularly very strange. It’s dark, with a protagonist who seems to be suffering a psychotic break. W. Maxwell Prince, Martín Morazzo, Chris O’Halloran, and Good Old Neon continue to work magic with this horror series.

| Published by Image

Invaders #10 continues “Dead in the Water” from Chip Zdarsky, Carlos Magno, Butch Guice, Alex Guimarães, and Travis Lanham. Some interesting complications here as Roxxon is further added to the mix and Roman starts making more problems for Atlantis. A really nice set up for something new from Steve and Namor too.

| Published by Marvel

Joker/Harley: Criminal Sanity #1, like Harleen #1 before it, surprised me. There’s a current saturation of Joker and Harley Quinn stories at the moment, spurred on by the movies, and it kind of tempers expectations. Thankfully, though, the start to this story from Kami Garcia, Mico Suayan, Mike Mayhew, and Richard Starkings is really rather good. It sets Harley as a criminal profiler, trying to figure out Joker’s murders, really getting inside this new take on her character and developing a more grounded crime thriller. The art from Mico Suayan is gorgeous, presented in greyscale, in contrast to the full-colour, photo reference of Mike Mayhew for flashbacks. I thought it was an interesting choice to present it that way, bucking convention for the flashbacks taking on a faded appearance. It gives the overall story a grittier feel for the present.

| Published by DC Comics - Black Label

Journey to Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker - Allegiance #1 is kind of a slow start to this intermediary step between The Last Jedi and The Rise of Skywalker from Ethan Sacks, Luke Ross, Lee Loughridge, and Clayton Cowles. There’s an interesting bit of showing just how evil the First Order really is, but a lot of what we get here is a regathering of the team. Gorgeous artwork from Ross and Loughridge.

| Published by Marvel

Justice League Odyssey #14 sees Dan Abnett, Chriscross, Cliff Richards, Le Beau Underwood, Danny Miki, Scott Hanna, Rain Beredo, Pete Pantazis, and AndWorld Design keep building this new team to confront Darkseid and his “new gods”. I really quite like the inversion of what we saw at the beginning, as Jessica Cruz is now working with villains attempting to do something heroic. We also get a reveal of Okkult, who is probably who everyone thought he was in the first place.

| Published by DC Comics

Livewire #11 gets at a point that was seemingly dropped in the wake of Harbinger Wars 2 in what the US government and their arms-length black ops group did in the Massacre, of how problematic rounding up and murdering a group of people are via American laws. I love that Vita Ayala, Tana Ford, Kelly Fitzpatrick, and Saida Temofonte pick it up here and incorporate it into another angle for this political warfare.

| Published by Valiant

Loki #4 concludes “The God Who Fell to Earth” and Loki’s conflict with Nightmare in fairly inventive fashion. Daniel Kibblesmith has been delivering some fairly interesting ideas here while planting more seeds for different permutations.

| Published by Marvel

Oliver #4 was well worth the wait. Gary Whitta, Darick Robertson, Diego Rodriguez, and Simon Bowland pack this confrontation full of action, with some absolutely beautiful artwork from Robertson and Rodriguez. Some very harrowing character moments as the story takes its next turn.

| Published by Image

Outer Darkness #11 is insanely good as John Layman, Afu Chan, and Pat Brosseau give us the first part of the two-part “season finale” to the series. The crew take shore leave as Rigg goes about interviewing what we think are replacement crew and a meeting with his superior, and then...well, you’re really going to have to read this issue. Great stuff.

| Published by Image / Skybound

Pretty Deadly: The Rat #2 is magnificent, delving into more of the existing mythology from the previous volumes, while still continuing on the new narrative for this era that started last issue. The repeated incorporation of visual motifs inspired by the film industry is a very nice touch. Kelly Sue DeConnick, Emma Rios, Jordie Bellaire, and Clayton Cowles are giving us a very compelling mystery here.

| Published by Image

Ronin Island #7 pushes the bandits and the Shogun into confrontation and...none of it goes exactly to Kenichi’s plan. Greg Pak, Giannis Milonogiannis, Irma Kniivila, and Simon Bowland continue to unfold this story in interesting ways, while Hana and Kenichi’s childhood lessons come back to both haunt and empower them.

| Published by BOOM! Studios

Shoplifters Will Be Liquidated #1 is an interesting debut from Patrick Kindlon, Stefano Simeone, and Hassan Otsmane-Elhaou. Set within a rather expansive big box store, it presents an extreme look at consumer culture and the lengths that this store’s loss prevention staff goes to in order to get their man. It’s rather cutthroat, literally.

| Published by AfterShock

Sonata #5 unveils a bit more about the planet and the Lumani, revealing an interesting depth to their technology that’s seemingly been abandoned and their method of reproduction. Mixing that in with the action of trying to save members of the two colonizers in conflict keeps the pace moving along. Gorgeous artwork from Brian Haberlin and Geirrod Van Dyke.

| Published by Image / Shadowline

Spawn #301 continues the story and structure of #300, with Todd McFarlane, Greg Capullo, Jason Shawn Alexander, Clayton Crain, Jerome Opeña, Jonathan Glapion, FCO Plascencia, Peter Steigerwald, Matt Hollingsworth, John Rauch, Greg Menzie, Jay Fotos, and Tom Orzechowski breaking it down into numerous chapters, dealing with the various different elements. Some interesting new characters revealed again, even though we only get a bit about them.

| Published by Image

Star Wars: Jedi Fallen Order - Dark Temple #3 reveals a few more secrets in the past, even as the Inquisitor searches for them in the present. Gorgeous artwork from Paolo Villanelli and Arif Prianto. It definitely feels like something weird is going on here.

| Published by Marvel

Star Wars Adventures: Return to Vader’s Castle #2 is another great entry into this series, with a central story illustrated this time by Kelley Jones and Michelle Madsen. It’s a wonderful monster story with one of Tarkin’s experiments, showing us what really makes up a monster.

| Published by IDW

Supergirl #35 sees Marc Andreyko, Eduardo Pansica, Julio Ferreira, FCO Plascencia, and Tom Napolitano juggling about as many plates as they are over in Hawkman. There’s “Year of the Villain” stuff and a rather deep tie-in to Event Leviathan as Leviathan makes a pitch for Kara to join him.

| Published by DC Comics

Superman #16 reunites Jon and Damian one last time before Jon heads off to join the Legion in the future, from Brian Michael Bendis, David Lafuente, Paul Mounts, and Dave Sharpe. It’s a fun, heartfelt send-off with some very funny moments, including a renaming of Leviathan that will hopefully stick.

| Published by DC Comics

These Savage Shores #5 brings an end to one of the most beautifully told stories in comics in the past few years. Ram V, Sumit Kumar, Vittorio Astone, and Aditya Bidikar have done an incredible thing with this story, giving new depth and nuance to tragic romance and the vampire story. This conclusion is heartrending as we see how far Bishan will go for love, in an epic confrontation between vampire and raakshas. Everyone owes it to themselves to read this series. Simply phenomenal.

| Published by Vault

Thumbs #5 is the conclusion to what has been a wonderful series from Sean Lewis and Hayden Sherman. There are some really interesting ideas, subverting the ideologies of both factions, showing realizations that maybe there might just be a better way.

| Published by Image

Triage #2 delves deeper into the three multiversal versions of Evie, contemplating how they came about while trying to figure out a way to stop whoever it is that’s hunting them. There’s some sweet and funny character moments with the main “normal” universe’s Evie and Tab. Phillip Sevy is doing a great job of juggling both the ordinary and extraordinary in this story.

| Published by Dark Horse

Vampirella/Red Sonja #2 is more fun from Jordie Bellaire, Drew Moss, Rebecca Nalty, and Becca Carey. The issues between Vampirella and Sonja become greater, even as they get a spell to understand one another. There’s a really nice mix of humour and action here.

| Published by Dynamite

Web of Black Widow #2 is another great issue. What Jody Houser, Stephen Mooney, Tríona Farrell, and Cory Petit are doing here feels perfect for Black Widow, giving us an action-packed story full of intrigue, even as it keeps us off-balance as to what exactly is going on.

| Published by Marvel

Wonder Twins #8 throws in a prison break and a high school reunion into the reasons why you should be reading this series. Mark Russell, Mike Norton, Cris Peter, and Dave Sharpe deliver another humorous chapter to this series, with some rather interesting heartbreak.

| Published by DC Comics / Wonder Comics

Other Highlights: Absolute Carnage: Miles Morales #3, Age of Conan: Valeria #3, Amazing Spider-Man #31, Animosity #24, Batman Universe #4, The Batman’s Grave #1, Battlepug #2, East of West #43, Future Fight Firsts: White Fox #1, Ghosted in LA #4, GI Joe: A Real American Hero #267, Go Go Power Rangers #24, Gwenpool Strikes Back #3, House of Whispers #14, Immortal Hulk: Director’s Cut #5, Joker: Year of the Villain #1, Jughead: The Hunger vs. Vampironica #5, Magnificent Ms. Marvel #8, Marvel Action: Spider-Man #9, Miles Morales: Spider-Man #11, Oblivion Song #20, Postal: Deliverance #4, Power Rangers: The Psycho Path, Powers of X #6, Reaver #4, Redneck #24, RWBY (print) #1, RWBY (digital) #4, Secrets of Sinister House #1, Star Wars: Target Vader #4, Thought Bubble Anthology 2019, TMNT: Urban Legends #17, Unbeatable Squirrel Girl #49, Unearth #4, Usagi Yojimbo #5, Wonder Woman #80

Recommended Collections: A Walk Through Hell - Volume 2, Baltimore Omnibus - Volume 1, Battlestar Galactica Classic: Counterstrike, Battlestar Galactica: Twilight Command, Black Hammer ‘45 - Volume 1, Blossoms 666, Hack/Slash vs. Chaos, The Silencer - Volume 3: Up in Smoke, War of the Realms: Punisher, Wizard Beach

d. emerson eddy is ready for some shashlik.

[crispsevans]

Films in 2019

It’s been a while again. Maybe I should make this review-thing a monthly thing LOL. My current count is at 33/150 for 2019, 18 out of 33 seen in theatre.

filmpage - filmlist - suggest a film

CAN CONTAIN SPOILERS. ( I review Endgame in this post, there are Endgame spoilers in this so don’t read, if you haven’t seen it yet.)

Hidden Figures (2016)

streamed on Amazon Prime Germany production country: USA OV: english seen version: OV Starring: Taraji B. Henson, Octavia Spencer, Janelle Monáe Director: Theodore Melfi Plot summary: The story of a team of female African-American mathematicians who served a vital role in NASA during the early years of the U.S. space program.

Review: 99ct Prime Deal movie. So glad it was on the list of the deals, because I’ve been dying to see this one ever since it came out. But as always I had no one to watch it with and I waited a little too long.

Finally saw it and what can I say - I loved it very much. What a great and important movie. 

My favourite part is probably where Janelle Monáe’s character fights for her right in court aspiring to be the first african-american woman to attend a white school in order to get higher education to qualify for a better position. LOVED IT. She slayed. Rating: 4/5

The Big Short (2015)

streamed on Amazon Prime Germany production country: USA OV: english seen version: german Starring: Christian Bale, Ryan Gosling, Steve Carell Director: Adam McKay Plot summary: In 2006-7 a group of investors bet against the US mortgage market. In their research they discover how flawed and corrupt the market is.

Review: 99ct Prime Deal movie number 3. I was a huge fan of Vice so I really needed to see this one.

To be honest this one was a bit harder to understand, because you have to have a little knowledge about economics and how they work - esp. on Wall Street. I mean, I took an A-Level class in Social Sciences and Economics so it was okay for me, even though I didn’t fully understand everything, but I just put it into context. They try to explain it in an easy way, but just make sure to pay attention :) 

Shocking reveal of the real estate market and how things went downhill in 2007 causing the global financial crisis that affected my family in a really bad way. 

Though I have to say it didn’t involve me as much as Vice, I felt like it was a little bit like chewing gum in between the scenes. Maybe I had to watch it in theatre to love it as much as I love Vice. Rating: 3,5/5

Spotlight (2015)

streamed on Amazon Prime Germany production country: USA OV: english seen version: german Starring: Mark Ruffalo, Michael Keaton, Rachel McAdams Director: Tom McCarthy Plot summary: The true story of how the Boston Globe uncovered the massive scandal of child molestation and cover-up within the local Catholic Archdiocese, shaking the entire Catholic Church to its core.

Review: 99ct Prime Deal movie number 4. Hands down - THE BEST out of all of them. 

What a movie. Very emotional, very dramatic, very captivating, very important.

I have nothing more to say except for: WATCH IT IF YOU HAVEN’T ALREADY. What a shame that it took me so long to actually see it. Outstanding cast, Mark Ruffalo and Rachel McAdams are killing it! Rating: 5/5

Serenity (2019)

seen in theatre production country: USA  OV: english seen version: german Starring: Matthew McConaughey, Anne Hathaway, Jason Clarke Director: Steven Knight Plot summary: A fishing boat captain (McConaughey) juggles facing his mysterious past and finding himself ensnared in a reality where nothing is what it seems.

Review: #sneakmonday movie. I was hoping they’d sneak it and I was so happy when they did, even though this movie kinda was a let down considering the cast of the movie. 

It was a decent movie with decent acting, liked McConaughey and Clarke in it, Hathaway (even though I love her very much) didn’t deliver her best performance here. 

I liked the plot twist mid-through the movie that made you rethink the entire thing. It was a little too surreal for me though. I’ve seen worse but I’ve also seen a lot better than this. Rating: 2,5/5

Independence Day: Resurgence (2016)

streamed on Netflix Germany production country: USA OV: english seen version: OV Starring: Liam Hemsworth, Jeff Goldblum, Bill Pullman Director: Roland Emmerich Plot summary: Two decades after the first Independence Day invasion, Earth is faced with a new extra-Solar threat. But will mankind's new space defenses be enough?

Review: This never happened to me before. In one of my previous review post I reviewed ‘Independence Day’ and I didn’t like it that much. Now THIS ONE, the sequel, IS SOOOOOOOO MUCH BETTER! I freaking LOVED it. 

I really don’t know if it’s the new CGI (which is obviously 10000 times better than in the 1996 version) or the storyline or whatever it is - it’s way better than the first one. It really caught my attention and I just love Jeff Goldblum - he’s such a class act.  Rating: 4/5

Greta (2019)

seen in theatre  production country: USA / Ireland OV: english seen version: german Starring: Isabelle Huppert, Chloë Grace Moretz, Maika Monroe Director: Neil Jordan Plot summary: A young woman (Moretz) befriends a lonely widow (Huppert) who's harboring a dark and deadly agenda toward her.

Review: #sneakmonday movie. 

Can I just say I really love obsessive lover/stalker movies?! I know I’m weird and it’s nothing you should fancy, but the movies about this topic always get me. They keep me on the edge and sunken in my seat until the movie’s over. 

I was pleasantly surprised by this movie, I thought it was really good most of the time - also something I haven’t seen before. The performances by Huppert and Moretz are really convincing.

It just really lacks in some of the decisions Moretz character makes. Sometimes it drifts off into a B-Lister movie, which this clearly shouldn’t be, but the lines and decisions of the character make it seem like a weird thriller horror thing. No one is really that stupid, but they wrote her character that naive. I didn’t like that.

But all in all it’s a good one, I enjoyed it very much. Rating: 3,5/5

The Collini Case / Der Fall Collini (2019)

seen in theatre production country: Germany OV: german / italian seen version: OV Starring: Elyas M’Barek, Alexandra Maria Lara, Franco Nero Director: Marco Kreuzpaintner Plot summary: A young lawyer (M’Barek) stumbles upon a vast conspiracy while investigating a brutal murder case.

Review: #sneakmonday movie. This is a german movie.

Elyas M’Barek is usually a comedy-actor. A little bit like Jennifer Aniston but as a male and in german. I never saw him as a guy who’d play a serious role. But here we go and I was pleasantly surprised by his performance. Never thought he’d do this good. 

Interesting story, very captivating and not too revealing. It takes quite a while until the movie really lifts off and the storyline begins to paint a picture and you understand what’s going on, but the reveal is very tragic and very emotional. I loved the screenplay and also the cinematography in certain points.

But whoever directed the music in this movie, please reconsider your job. It was a disaster, really. The score itself was good, but the usage was so out of place most of the times, it bothered me SO MUCH. 

German produced movies try to be so much like Hollywood Blockbusters, but they’re not and this is another example for it. But it’s one of the better ones. Rating: 4/5

The Perfect Date (2019)

streamed on Netflix Germany production country: USA OV: english seen version: OV Starring: Noah Centineo, Laura Marano Director: Chris Nelson Plot summary: To save up for college, Brooks Rattigan (Centineo) creates an app where anyone can pay him to play the perfect stand-in boyfriend for any occasion.

Review: I don’t know what I was expecting from a Netflix RomCom, but this kinda let me down yet again (just like ‘Isn’t it romantic?’).

It was okay and kinda cute in some places, but nothing fancy and a lack of entertainment for me. Overall it was okay and it’s a movie to watch before you go to sleep or when you’re sick.  Rating: 3/5

Overdrive (2017)

streamed on Sky Cinema Germany production country: France / Belgium / USA OV: english / french seen version: OV Starring: Scott Eastwood, Freddie Thorp, Ana de Armas Director: Antonio Negret Plot summary: Two car thief brothers (Eastwood, Thorp), who journey to the south of France for new opportunities, wind up in the cross hairs of the local crime boss.

Review: I literally just watched this for Scott Eastwood LOL. It’s such a cringe movie, I just couldn’t. 

I know Scott can do better than this. The character-writing was so damn flat and so was the entire screenplay. I’m not a huge Fast & Furious Fan, maybe this movie is for people who love those movies - at least you get to see some really nice cars. 

But really, this is such a cringe movie. My rating is for Scott (because DAMN) and the beautiful (!!!!!!) landscape cinematography of South France! Rating: 2,5/5

Avengers: Endgame (2019)

seen in theatre (soon thrice) production country: USA OV: english seen version: german (soon OV) Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth, Mark Ruffalo, Scarlett Johansson, Jeremy Renner, Josh Brolin AND SO MANY MORE. Director: Joe and Anthony Russo Plot summary: After the devastating events of Avengers: Infinity War (2018), the universe is in ruins. With the help of remaining allies, the Avengers assemble once more in order to undo Thanos' actions and restore order to the universe.

Review: ... here we go.

I went to see it on the first screening of the day when it came out over here in Germany. I know Europe was blessed with being two days ahead of the US.  I literally cried for 3 hours. The entire 3 hours OKAY. Sitting through the credits because I couldn’t believe what I just saw. 

It took me a few days to completely understand what I had watched.

There are so many things wrong with this movie, but also so many good things about this movie I JUST DON’T KNOW. 

When I went to see it the second time I liked it a LOT better and with every day and every clip I see and listening to the score more and more I grow to love this movie more. 

And against the mainly common opinion in disliking the ending of this movie, I loved it - even though it may makes no sense in a scientific way. Hate me all you want, but you can read HERE why I loved Steve’s ending, Becka wrote a beautiful piece. 

Also Tony Stark. Let’s talk about Tony Stark. What is there left to say though? His actions speak louder than words. He basically did ALL OF IT for PETER FREAKING PARKER. How beautiful. He did it for him, because he missed him, because he couldn’t live with the thought of losing him. And sacrificing himself for Peter, for the rest of the Avengers, for the entire universe, WHAT A MOVE.

Now let’s move on to Natasha Romanoff, because she doesn’t get enough credit. First female Avenger, the glue, heart and soul of the Avengers, the mom that held everything together, that kept the world a safe place after the snap and Thanos being dead in 2023 like. She still cared, she cared about her family (the original 6 more than anyone else really) and she kept looking for Clint (DON’T GET ME STARTED ON CLINTASHA) and.. I just.. and then she sacrificed herself and her life, for her family. FOR THEM. FOR LOVE. FOR CLINT. SO THEY COULD SEE THE SUN AGAIN (to put it in Loki’s words). I JUST.... 

It started with Tony and Nat and it ended with Tony and Nat and I just... I just can’t. Literally I CAN’T. Still not over it.

P.S. America’s ass. Rating: 4/5

Fighting With My Family (2019)

seen in theatre production country: UK / USA OV: english seen version: german Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Florence Pugh, Vince Vaughn Director: Stephen Merchant Plot summary: A former wrestler and his family make a living performing at small venues around the country while his kids dream of joining World Wrestling Entertainment.

Review: #sneakmonday movie. Based on a true story. I had no expectations, really. I gotta say, I’m not into Wrestling AT ALL. And I don’t really want to be. So this was a bummer for me. 

But nonetheless this is a cute family movie. The bond between the siblings and the entire family is really beautiful to see and so is the character development of Paige’s brother Zak. 

Also the interaction with all these kids learning how to wrestle is really just beautiful. Kids from all ages, different backgrounds, different identities, sizes and also a blind kid - they all come together and become friends through Wrestling. That’s really beautiful. 

It’s just not my cup of tea, because of the Wrestling topic. It’s a decent movie though. Rating: 2,5/5

Journal 64 (2019)

seen in theatre production country: Denmark / Germany OV: danish / arabic / spanish / german seen version: german Starring: Nikolaj Lie Kaas, Fares Fares, Johanne Louise Schmidt Director: Christoffer Boe Plot summary: A series of mysterious disappearances in 2006 are eerily connected to the same institution.

Review: #sneakmonday movie. Based on a crime thriller by Jussi Adler-Olson.

Scandinavian films are so good, really. They are SO DAMN GOOD. Especially crime thrillers - they’re just really good at not only writing them as books but also making them into movies and TV shows. I don’t know how they do it. Norwegian/Swedish/Danish crime thrillers are kinda dark most of the times, this one had a nice comedic effect, though, because the main character is a blatantly honest person and drops a lot of bricks, but is still a very charismatic character.

Really liked this one. Very dramatic story, there should be a trigger warning though (tw: rape / tw: abuse / tw: abortion). So keep that in mind, if you decide to watch it.

Rating: 4/5

[allthecoolboysaredead]

Larry Ezekiel Goodman Bio + Tags + Headcanons

Name: Larry Ezekiel Goodman Nicknames: Darkheart, Larebear Age: 21; Can Change Birthday: February 27th Sign: Pisces Gender: Cis Male Pronouns: He/Him Sexuality: Homosexual Homoromantic Polygamous; Nonsexual unless introduced to sex by outside source (then highly sexual) Hair: Naturally Brown, dyes tips blue Eyes: Dodger Blue Skin: Pale White Height: 5′0″ Weight: 110 lbs Faceclaim: Gerhard Freidl Piercings: Horizontal Brow Piercings (Left Side), Angel Bites, Labret, Both Ears Gauged (Size 0g) Tattoos: None Scars: Nothing real noticeable

Alignment: Lawful Good Religion: Raised Roman Catholic, Aetheist Allegiance: South Park Vampire Society, Mike Makowski, Ryan Ellis

Family: Zachary Fetter (Father, Alive, Out Of The Picture); Mariah Goodman (Mother, Alive); Martin “Big M” Goodman (Uncle, Alive); Mary Goodman (Grandmother, Deceased); Ezekiel Goodman (Grandfather, Alive)

Pets: Lestat (White German Shepherd)

Personality: Adaptable, anxious, artistic, attention-seeking, caring, compassionate, compliant, desires an escape of reality, emotionally intelligent, empathetic, extroverted, forgiving, friendly, generous, gentle, gullible, impulsive, intuitive, loyal, overly trusting, passive, patient, protective, prudish, responsible, self deprecating, selfless, sensitive, shy, submissive, sullen, tolerant, worrisome

Likes: Sleeping, music, romance, visual media, swimming, the spiritual side of vampirism, comaraderie, his friends, clamato juice, deviled egg potato salad, sweets, animals, helping others, rainy/snowy weather

Dislikes: Confrontation, cruelty of any kind, thinking too much, being criticized, know-it-alls, being taken advantage of, being left out, touching fish, Swedish meatballs, bitter things, plain water, hot weather

Can Do: Drive, make telephone calls, organize events, drop everything when a friend needs him, offer advice, play instruments (Cello, piano, clarinet, a little bit of violin, kazoo), write fiction

Can’t Do: Actually kill things, relax easily, cook, math, abandon his friends, most magic, handle confrontation, get too warm, resist singing to songs he likes/knows

Mental Health Diagnosis:

PTSD: Larry was treated rather poorly up until he started school, often locked out of his mother’s room at night and left with nobody to help him through things but his uncle. His uncle was and still is a drunk piggybacking off of his mother’s paychecks, and Larry suffered a lot of physical and sexual abuse from him. To this day he dislikes being alone with the man.

Dependant Personality Disorder: Larry will pour himself into other things in order to escape his actual reality. Because of this, he takes on the brunt of handling most Vampire Society affairs, including but not limited to booking events and venues, securing timetables and even setting up the occasional bake sale. The busier he can stay, the happier he is.

Physical Health Diagnosis:

Flat Feet: Larry has to wear special inserts in his shoes because his feet have no arches in them. It occasionally makes running hard.

Fears: Being forgotten, aliens, being eaten alive, earthquakes

Positive Traits: Loyal, trustworthy, tolerant

Negative Traits: Self-deprecating, anxious, worrisome

Quirks: Listens to such a wide variety of music it’s hard to pinpoint his tastes; Likes peanut butter and cheese sandwiches; Has an interest in all occult/supernatural things but vampires are his number 1

Tends To: Busy himself to the point of forgetting himself; Become nonverbal during conflict; Cling to his dog when scared

History: The timing couldn’t have been worse for Larry to have been a shine in his parents’ eyes. Zach Fetter was content to be the guy Mariah Goodman’s parents couldn’t stand, and she was content to know she was breaking rules, until Larry came into the picture. The minute it turned from rebellion into the possibility of a family, all parties tried to run. Mariah, sadly, was a little stuck. She couldn’t get an abortion, and had to temporarily move back in with her parents until Larry was born. He spent the beginning of his life mostly with his grandparents, while his mother got back on her feet with a job.

When he was three, his uncle was released from prison and his mother moved out of her parents’ house to move in with her brother. The initial idea was for him to get a job and help out, but something always got in the way. He spent a lot of time babysitting Larry, who began to behave differently. Quiet, more sullen, he flinched a lot in the presence of his uncle and refused to talk about it. By kindergarten, he was reluctant to do much on his own, and immediately clung to an older kid by the name of Mike Makowski.

They became fast friends, and Larry was ever loyal to any of Mike’s causes, even if he was a year younger than him. When they became the South Park Vampire Society in fourth grade (fifth for Mike), Larry was a dutiful second in command that spent as much time as he could with his friends. They were all a very close-knit group, and even as they grew and everyone else changed, Larry didn’t see a whole lot of it.

He let himself be so enveloped in his work for his friends, in spending time with them and helping them with problems, that he never thought of much else. Most things that regular teenage boys did escaped him, barring his schoolwork, and he was always probably the least sexual of the vampire kids. Not to say that he didn’t like people that way, or that he didn’t have the thoughts on occasion, but he was always so tired when he got home, and it took a lot to get him to open up about things like that.

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Tags List - Personal

Not A Ghost Nor A Demon (Larry) This Is What I Do I Spit On You (Larry’s IC Posts) Stripes Are Always In (Larry’s Closet) A Vampire’s Lair (Larry’s Stuff) I’ve Got A Notion (Larry’s Desires) Fake Fangs And Clamato Juice (Larry’s Aesthetic) The Vampire Lestat (Lestat Tag) Like Fog Lights In The Rain (Larry’s Music) Things Are Different When You’re Dead (Larry Musings) Here It’s December Every Day (Larry Headcanons)

Tags List - With X - Canon

We Are But Shepherding Wolves (Larry And Allison Mertz)

The Different Need Us As Well (Larry And Amanda Harrison)

Please No Grieving (Larry And Annie Barlett)

Blondes Have More Fun (Larry And Bebe Stevens)

I Don’t Know Him (Larry And Billy Harris)

Sister In Darkness (Larry And Bloodrayne)

Where Oh Where Has He Gone? (Larry And Bradley Biggle)

It’s The First Day Of The Rest Of Your Life (Larry And Butters Stotch)

I Don’t Like Dirt (Larry And Christophe “The Mole” DeLorne)

He’s Cool Enough To Hang Out With Us (Larry And Clyde Donovan)

If He Had Wheels He’d Be A Wagon (Larry And Craig Tucker)

Party Till It’s 666 In The Morning (Larry And Damien Thorn)

Nothing Is Ever Perfect (Larry And David Harrison)

He Rode Cthulhu Like A Pony! (Larry And Eric Cartman)

A Sweet Kid (Larry And Filmore Anderson)

Sharp And Scathing With Shipping Included (Larry And Firkle Smith)

The More The Merrier (Larry And Flora)

Brothers In Vampirism (Larry And Gangsta Vamp)

It’s Not Right To Tell Someone They’re Wrong (Larry And Gary Harrison)

What’s Up Drunkie? (Larry And Gregory)

She Wears A Dress Like A Body Bag Every Day (Larry And Heidi Turner)

Fire Bad! (Larry And Henriette Biggle)

Under Our Wings You Could Flourish (Larry And Ike Broflovski)

Don’t Let The Losers Win (Larry And Jennifer Harrison)Could She Be One Of Us? (Larry And Jenny)

Humor Is The Lifeblood Of Society (Larry And Jimmy Valmer)

One Of Us (Larry And Karen McCormick)

Why Does He Hate Us So Much? (Larry And Kenny McCormick)

Help Yourself To Guns And Ammo (Larry And Kevin McCormick)

Millennials Against Canada (Larry And Kyle Broflovski)

Everyone Is Welcome (Larry And Leslie Meyers)

I Believe (Larry And Mark Harrison)

Anywhere But Scottsdale (Larry And Michael)

They Worry You With All The Talk Of How You’re Not Their Kind (Larry And Mike Makowski

A Little Extra Help (Larry And Mimsy)

Always Scheming (Larry And Nathan)

The Sun It Withers In Comparison (Larry And Nichole Daniels)

Ugh You Spit On Me Larry (Larry And Pete)

He’s Not Like The Others (Larry And Quaid)

Leader Of The Pack (Larry And Red Tucker)

We’re Cool Huh? (Larry And Ryan Ellis)

Not Everyone Is On Our Level (Larry And Sally Bands)

You Poor Guy (Larry And Scott Tenorman)

Dogs Are Life (Larry And Stan Marsh)

Fanastic Wounds (Larry And Timmy Burch)

Is He On The List? (Larry And Token Black)

Tally Marks (Larry And Trent Boyett)

Too Young To Drink Caffeine (Larry And Tweek Tweak)

Class President (Larry And Wendy Testaburger)

Tags List - With X - OC

For What It’s Worth (With Hershy) - @brokenxdelinquentsx

It Was An Honest Mistake (With Nikolai Robins) - @sub-nikolai

Tags List - With X - Crossover

Daddy Daddy Get Me Out Of Here I’m Underground (With Jareth)

A Little Crazy Is OK As Long As Nobody Says Any Dirty Words (With Jerome Valeska)

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Verses - In-World

Second Best Friend Ever (Larry’s Elementary Verse)

It didn’t take long for Larry to be swept up in Mike Makowski. Someone that was so confident and cool actually paying him attention was the biggest, nicest thing anyone had ever done for him. He would have followed Mike to the ends of the Earth and back, and usually helped retrieve him from Scottsdale, at least by tattling to his parents.

Growing Into Oneself (Larry’s Middle School Verse)

In middle school, being the vice president and treasurer of the Vampire Society became his life. He would make sure that everyone had their tickets for dances and things, that everyone was going to parties or zoo excursions. Mike’s birthdays became a big-ticket item and he did a lot of work with Mike’s stepdad to get the parties to be just right for his best friend.

Workaholic (Larry’s High School Verse)

In high school, Larry got a job as a clerk at the Photo Dojo. If he wasn’t doing that or school work, he was almost always with his friends doing something. If they weren’t together, he was planning things, or taking dictation from Mike. He spent as little time at home as he could leading up to his 18th birthday, and after it he tried to spend even less time there.

We Are The Fortunate All The Time (Larry’s College Verse)

The second Larry graduated high school, he was already out the door. The soonest he could get to his college life and away from his family, the better. Sure, he missed his friends, but they all talked on group chats and Discord, so things were still close. Living outside of Colorado was odd for him, however, hard to really put into place. Outside of his friend group, which apparently sheltered him a lot, he didn’t know how to function.

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AU Verses

I Can’t Wait To Show You My Love (Larry’s ABO AU)

Born a male Omega, Larry was always looked down upon by his mother, and his uncle saw him as a target. His grandparents took him in when he started to smell too much like his uncle, and have full custody of him. He lives with them in Middle Park, but still goes to school and hangs out with his friends in South Park.

His Only Fault Was His Trust (Demon!Larry AU)

Larry had never been much of a bad person. In fact, his only real flaw was that he trusted others so thoroughly that whatever they said or told him to do made him dangerous. A loyal friend, he became a majordomo to the royal family of hell when he died.

Creatures Of The Deep (Mer!Larry AU)

Larry is a Demasoni Cichlid, one of the least aggressive of his species. He tries to be a kind of vegetarian, but his species cannot survive without meat for long. He eats fish more than anything, though he goes into a frenzy on occasion. When he’s on land, he loses his ability to speak.

Apprenticed (Larry’s Repo! The Genetic Opera AU)

It started off innocently enough; Larry had been hoping to get some good, interesting work for his stories. Vampires were still a hit, even if it was more organ-themed now-a-days. But working as an apprentice to a Graverobber wasn’t always the easier thing to deal with, especially when squeamish.

Warn Your Warmth To Turn Away (Vampire!Larry AU)

It made sense, at some point, for Larry to obsess over vampires to the point of following ‘real’ ones. When he’d left South Park for college, he never once thought he’d find anyone that fit his aesthetic. Here he was, though, in a club called The Den, a bartender that didn’t realize just what he was getting himself into. Three days into his employment, he found out the dirty underbelly of the city operated there, and that most of them were not human. To keep him from running, he was slowly being poisoned, turned into a vampire that could still provide blood to others until the night of his full shift. Which just so happened to be his twenty-second birthday.

I Don’t Want To Be Team Jacob (Werewolf!Larry AU)

Larry had always loved dogs. He had enjoyed seeing wolves in the forest, thinking of them as vampiric familiars. The one time he stepped over his boundaries and pet an unfamiliar dog, though, turned out to be the worst night of his life. Trying to hide his new side from his friends and relatives was proving to be too hard, to boot.

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Shipping

None At This Time

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Open Starters

None At This Time

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Headcanon Posts

* ( positive personality   traits!

Physical Traits Of Your Muse

Detailed Profile Tag

Bold Your Muse’s Aesthetic (Spooky Edition)

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Faceclaim - Gerhard Freidl

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Art By Me

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Pets

Lestat is Larry’s loyal White German Shepherd. The pair are mostly inseparable, and he will take Lestat with him to occasional Vampire Society meetings. Lestat protects Larry from his uncle, who is the only person that Lestat doesn’t like.

[ahouseoflies]

The Best Films of 2017, Part II

Part I can be found here. I should have mentioned the films I haven’t seen, which include BPM; Faces Places; The Square; Coco; Thelma; Last Flag Flying; Roman J. Israel, Esq.; Wonder Wheel; Jane; and I, Daniel Blake. Long-time AHOLs also know that I’m in the fifth year of a self-imposed five-year break from superhero culture, so I haven’t seen Logan or Thor or whatever else. With that: ENDEARING CURIOSITIES WITH BIG FLAWS 87. The Great Wall (Zhang Yimou)-  Zhang Yimou's The Great Wall has a lot in common with Wong Kar-Wai's The Grandmaster. Both are high-concept international co-productions that bear just enough of the filmmaker's signature but feel unfortunately cut to ribbons in the editing room. Computers have made us all a little worse at our jobs, Zhang included, and his spectacle is achieved despite CGI, not because of it. I liked watching a boulder's journey through the stages of being catapulted, even if it eventually landed into a physics-negligent pit of cartoon monsters. By the end, the picture is more bloodless, sexless, and simplistic than a game of toy soldiers, which makes it seem just as child-like. It's a forgettable sort of fun, but it is often fun. 86. The Ghost in the Shell (Rupert Sanders)- A bit more comprehensible than the original but far less beautiful. It's a shame that visions of future exteriors haven't improved or at least changed since Blade Runner. Big advertisements. Got it. (Also, we have telepathic walkie-talkies, but people sleep on the floor?) There are a few good ideas drizzled around. If people can basically toggle back and forth between languages, why not hire a famous actor who doesn't speak English for one of the supporting roles? Speaking of acting though, Johansson is pretty bad in this, hamstrung by the whole playing-a-robot problem. (She looks as good as she ever has though, which is saying something.) She could have taken some notes from Michael Pitt, who brings some edge and skitter to his cybernetic replicant or whatever they call it. 85. Wilson (Craig Johnson)- It hits the notes that a Daniel Clowes property usually does: misanthropy, formlessness, begrudging acceptance at the end. I laughed a few times and appreciated the huge left-turn at the two-thirds mark, but I didn't think it amounted to much. 84. Patti Cake$ (Geremy Jasper)-  Other than the Basterd character, there's nothing really broken about this movie, but I'm selling on anything with double-digit dream sequences. 

83. Colossal (Nacho Vigalondo)- The ending, both the final act and the final note, went a long way to save what was a tedious sit for me. I appreciate the big swings that everyone took with this budget and material--Sudeikis once again gets to show impressive range. But this is an hour of material stretched to an hour and forty-nine minutes. 82. Rough Night (Lucia Aniello)- Hide-the-body movies never work, but what makes this one disappointing is that there's a daring, original corrective somewhere on the margins. You can tell from the comparatively tame bachelor party or the unexpectedly positive threesome that this movie has refreshing ideas, but both the Machine and TV visuals from a TV director shaved the edge down. No one wants to hear such a thing about a sorely-needed female-driven comedy, but Paul W. Downs is the funniest thing in this. 81. Beauty and the Beast (Bill Condon)- Shout-out to the morons protesting this movie's gayness but not realizing that the original was always an allegory for AIDS. These live-action remakes are all around the same quality, but this one feels especially bloated, with really dicey CGI. Things get borderline boring in between the musical numbers, but, man, do those numbers hold up. There's the title track obviously, but songs that would be throwaways in something else--"Gaston," "Be Our Guest," "Something There"--are BANGERZ here. The real IP is the music, and Disney is just going to get each generation's Josh Gad to sing them forever. 80. Darkest Hour (Joe Wright)- This movie reminded me of The Imitation Game in the sense that it's a staid presentation with a solid structure that feels cheap whenever it zooms out beyond its back rooms. The grander version of this, which Joe Wright in some ways already made, is probably just as unsatisfying, but it wouldn't have the pinnacle of goofiness that will hereupon be known as The Underground Scene. I’m a bit bored of this type of film. Darkest Hour might be worth seeing for Oldman's performance, which is a true transformation, absent of any actory vanity but invested with some real myth-making. Churchill gets introduced with just his hat, then lit by just a match, then lit by a shock of sunlight. Oldman is very good in his scenes with Scott Thomas, so it's a shame that her character disappears for a half-hour at a time. The more troubling thing to note is that there are many men in this film who are so English that they can't pronounce their r's. If you catch it eawly, it's a weal distwacting pwoblem. 79. The Fate of the Furious (F. Gary Gray)- Since some of the dumbest stuff is some of the best stuff*, I'm not going to get caught in the web of assessing how much sense The Fate of the Furious makes. But I can say that this entry is the least intentionally funny of the series, and other than "the White girls' soccer team is the Monarchs," it loses some of the class undressing of 6 and 7. From the endless scene-setting to the overstuffed character roster, this is now more of a comic book than a movie, an exercise in being a plot without being a narrative. *- See: the "make it rain" sequence, Statham swinging the baby carrier through a gun battle, Rock redirecting the missile with his bare hands.

78. Nobody Speak: Trials of the Free Press (Brian Knappenberger)- The first hour, centering on the Hulk Hogan/Gawker case, is compulsively watchable, even if it doesn't shed much extra light for anyone who followed it when it happened. Terry Bollea explaining that his penis is shorter than ten inches while Hulk Hogan's, the character's, is not: That's what I signed up for. When that case veers into the bizarrely vengeful, pretty much when Peter Thiel comes in, Nobody Speak becomes something else. The final third pits the sensitive, diligent bullpen of the Las Vegas Review-Journal against billionaire liver spot Sheldon Adelson, who bought their paper to suppress it. Then, of course, the doc expands to Donald Trump's vilification of the free press. If that sounds like a straight line, it doesn't come off that way in the film. The Hogan/Gawker stuff, which takes up the majority of the running time, feels unresolved after all the tangents. 77. The Reagan Show (Sierra Pettengill, Pacho Velez)- I'm cringing for the next five years, in which I'll have to judge a movie's success based on how subtly it invokes its mandatory Donald Trump comparisons and allegories. They're coming. In general, it's kind of sad to see how much more literate people were even thirty years ago, even as they populated a medium we all agreed was low culture. This documentary feels sharp at first, understanding something essential about the way Reagan owned his own persona. With the American Right treating him like some patron saint, it's also helpful to remember how much pushback he got at the end of his second term, for something that would be, like, the fiftieth most controversial thing Donald Trump would have done already. (See?) When the doc gets to its own fascination with Reagan's Star Wars program, however, it basically loses its thesis. As lean as it is, it still sort of stumbles to the finish line. 76. Beatriz at Dinner (Miguel Arteta)- I appreciated this portrayal of a culture clash way more than I liked it. For a while the characters are highly specific. (The delivery of "It's 6:13, Kathy" made me laugh out loud.) Then the plot turns into "Oh, so we're talking about Trump's America, right?" (See?) Here's a critique that's catty every time: This film has great ideas about class and race if you've never thought about class and race before. 75. I, Tonya (Craig Gillespie)- Oscar is calling...for the fat dude playing Shawn Eckhardt and no one else. If Allison Janney wins for doing the thing she always does over Laurie Metcalf's fully realized human, then it's a huge mistake. Successful in some of its comedic goals, especially in its depiction of northwestern goons, the shame of the working class, and period detail. (I laughed out loud when I saw the Girbaud tag on Gilooly's jeans.) Unsuccessful in most of its other goals--if I'm even reading the film correctly in my assumption of those goals. The most obvious one is the slippery nature of the truth, and that idea is handled clumsily. Gillespie goes to great GoodFellas-aping lengths to grapple with perception--having characters break the fourth wall even though there are already voiceovers and to-camera interviews. That talking to the camera comes up a few times in the disturbing scenes of domestic violence, which do humanize the characters because the other elements of the film can't, but they distract the viewer with their blitheness. The most puzzling angle of the film is the Hard Copy reporter, played by Bobby Cannavale in yet another example of his agent not knowing how famous he is. It's a missed opportunity in a movie full of them. 74. It (Andy Muschietti)- I don't get why people went nuts for this. The ensemble avails itself pretty well, despite all the sitcom-y dialogue. (Dialogue that, based on the Stephen King that I've read, is probably faithful to the book.) Some of the visuals nail the distinction between surreal and unreal--my favorite is the children's TV show that sporadically drifts into the murderous. But the movie just kind of hangs there, all the way to its interminable ending, satisfied with its own literal presentation of events that seem to be metaphorical. As I understand, It--however It manifests itself--represents the death of childhood and the emergence of an adult banality of evil. But the movie engages with that level as little as possible, and maybe that's why people are going nuts for it. This is a scary movie if you're a child, and most of the moviegoing public seem to be children. 73. Before I Fall (Ry Russo-Young)- I mostly watched this because I think Zoey Deutch is a Movie Star, and if I'm going to be there for her Speed, I have to be there for her Love Potion No. 9's as well. I appreciated Before I Fall's brevity, but the premise offers a lot more fun than the film is willing to have. In the end the balance was off: It had to be either more moralistically PG-13 or go way darker. For example, just like in Groundhog Day, the character realizes that she'll live out the same day no matter what she does, and it triggers a nihilistic phase. But rather than going on a shooting spree or stealing stuff from a mall, she just, like, wears a sexier dress and talks back to her parents. Good swing, kids, but I'm waiting for the crazier version.

72. War Machine (David Michod)- There are some standout moments in War Machine, many of which are thanks to its impressive cast, but I don't think the film is cohesive enough for me to recommend. I know what Michod is against--counter-insurgency, military hubris--but it's harder to figure out what he's arguing for beyond some sort of level of transparency. The war sequence near the end feels at odds with the tone of everything else, even though it benefits from the Nick Cave and Warren Ellis score. In a similarly frustrated vein, I feel as if I know exactly who Glen McMahon is, and the script's greatest strength is how sharply it draws him, but Pitt's studied performance adds distance to it. It's as if all of the film's comedic nature is supposed to come from how people revolve around his straight man, and that expectation is too much to put on his shoulders. There's more than a little Bud Turgidson in the voice Pitt affects, but the difference is that, as mean as this sounds, I always believed George C. Scott when he played a smart person. 71. The Trip to Spain (Michael Winterbottom)- Diminishing returns. 70. Downsizing (Alexander Payne)- There's a meta-effect to the structure of Downsizing. Its characters decide to shrink themselves, finding unpredictable challenges in the process, and the film similarly gets more problematic as it focuses further into each of its four legs. The first part, the outside world, is when the film is at its most cutting and well-observed. It still lays its points on thickly--dude at the bar asking if downsized people should be able to vote, for example--but the questions are worth asking. The second part, Leisureland, the bourgeois subdivision lil' Damon lives in, is more satirical and less satisfying. (I do love that downsizing ends up being such a gauche pursuit though. Payne has always had his finger on the pulse of people with poor taste.) The third part, which takes place in the downsizing slums, is a sharp, unfunny left turn that discards characters but at least develops the protagonist further. And then the wheels come off in Norway. At least we got to hear Udo Kier say, "I do love my boat." 69. Okja (Bong Joon-Ho)- Since Okja is such a unique movie, I feel as if people will overpraise it as a way to brand themselves: Its poster is probably going to be in a lot of dorm rooms. But there's a lot that you have to look past in order to recommend it. In general, I find that Bong's English language work has a bizarre mixture of muddled themes being presented in direct ways. There is some sweetness here--most of it due to the amazingly detailed rendering of the pig--but too much of the comedy doesn't work, and the ending feels a bit easy. I liked most of the stuff with the Animal Liberation Front, and I kind of wish they had been the focal point of the movie. Can I say, as my main takeaway, that I'm worried about Jakey G? He is so big here, so out-of-tune with the rest of the film, that I blame Bong for not reining him in. At the same time, I keep making excuses for Gyllenhaal, claiming that his parts are under-written, but at a certain point, you have to point the finger at him if there's such a pattern of bad performances emerging. I didn't see Everest, but this is his fourth brick in a row. Help us, Dan Gilroy. You're our only hope. 68. The Killing of a Sacred Deer (Yorgos Lanthimos)- An interesting swing that ends up missing for me. Excepting The Lobster, Lanthimos's works seem obsessed with family dynamics, and he plays some interesting games with this family's perversions. Farrell's character's story about his father dovetails with his somnophilia, which seems to inspire the way his daughter offers herself to her object of affection. From Anna's medical past to Steven's alcoholism, these characters seem to have full lives that have been in motion long before the events of the story. But I kind of suspect I'm worshiping at the altar of auteurism, and I wouldn't have half the respect or patience I do for this film had I not known who made it. The dialogue and performances are purposefully flat and stilted, thus creating an off, eerie quality before we know why we should be unnerved. But what if the performances are just, you know, bad? The film also creates a premise that concludes in an inevitably unsatisfying way. I don't know what I would have done instead, but I'm not a genius filmmaker who gets the benefit of the doubt.

[adambarnardphotos]

The Undertaker and The Undeniable Truth

The crowd booed loudly as The Undertaker walked down the entrance ramp of the Spectrum in Philadelphia in 1992. Led in the ring by the equally pale and slightly more unnerving Paul Bearer, Undertaker set his sights for the ring, ominously sizing up his opponent. I felt the warmth of the stadium dissipate, giving way to a cold that ran up my spine, or so I had thought I’d felt. I sat with my eyes wide open under the bent brim of my Seattle Mariners hat, mesmerized by this gigantic and, apparently undead, man walk slowly and methodically towards the ring. I had no idea what “kayfabe” meant as a squirmy seven year old. I just knew this thing was the scariest thing I’d ever seen, and that my attention was completely focused on him. I was so entranced in his entrance, I couldn’t hear the roar of the crowd as his opponent, Jake “the Snake” Roberts, entered the ring to begin their match. I was captivated by the energy, the pageantry, the excitement of a WWE (then WWF) live event, and The Undertaker captured all of that by himself.

That day at the Spectrum was a wonderful touchstone in a lifelong fanaticism with professional wrestling. My brothers and I spent hours acting out all of our favorite promos from the Ultimate Warrior, belting out the theme songs of our favorite Superstars, and became deeply distressed at any sign of Hulk Hogan losing the upper hand. Saturday mornings were sacred, the squared circle our church, and the Superstars our Biblical figures, with their storylines as hallowed as the stories of Moses and Abraham. I can’t think of my childhood without the thought of the WWE in my mind. My brothers and I agonized over which Superstar would win the Royal Rumble and who, if anyone, would beat the Undertaker at Wrestlemania. WWE had grown with us, with Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage giving way to Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels, then giving way to The Rock and Stone Cold Steve Austin. Each year that passed brought a new storyline to become deeply involved with, new drama to be captivated by, a new Wrestlemania to desperately wait for.

We couldn’t have known as children the impact The Undertaker would have on professional wrestling and a generation of children, including the wide eyed, brown haired little boy in the nosebleed section of the Spectrum that day in 1992. His storied career has spanned more than three decades, the majority of that time as “The Deadman”. We watched him slay giants, be buried alive, become one of the darkest villains in the history of sports entertainment, transform into the American Bad Ass, and then take his rightful throne as the real “Mr. Wrestlemania” (sorry, Shawn Michaels, but you know it’s true). Last night, after his loss to Roman Reigns at Wrestlemania 33, the Deadman placed the pieces that made him iconic in the middle of the ring and symbolically brought an end to his historic career.

Life is funny sometimes. Some days bring reminders of good moments in your life. A cigarette smell brings you right back to the afternoon you spent swimming in your Uncle Lon’s swimming pool, while he enjoyed his Marlboro Lights and black coffee on the covered porch of his Levittown home. A crack of a baseball bat connecting with a 98 mile an hour pitch sends you to the hazy summer afternoon spent in the blue seats of Veterans Stadium with your brothers, dad, and favorite perpetual teenager, Uncle Rick. Waves crashing against the sandy beach transports you to the summer of your first vacation crush when you went to Cape May Courthouse with your mom and brothers, and the impending heartbreak that comes with saying goodbye when the trip is over. While her name has been eternally lost in translation between your short and long term memories, you can see her brown hair blowing in the wind as you threw sea shells into the ocean with her, and you can hear her laugh at the terrible joke you told her seconds before she kissed you. Wonderful, amazing moments that push the course of your life in new, exciting directions, and these life receipts, whether tangible or connected to senses, connect you directly to your past.

Other days are reminders of mortality and the unstoppable aging process that precedes our inevitable fate. Those reminders perpetually yield an absolute sadness, a melancholy that lingers over my daily routine like an obnoxious itch on your leg after a mosquito bite. It’s like a bitter aftertaste from a terrible drink your brother swore was delicious, and you knew better than to trust him on his decision making, but you drank it anyway, and no amount of water will dilute its foul remnants. No one and no actual thing prepares you for each loss you experience in life, nor do they buffer you from the successive losses of your childhood that accompany each passing year. There’s no guide to prepare for the first major loss in your life, as Uncle Lon slips away from cancer. The life lessons and tough skin Uncle Lon’s passing brought most certainly did not prepare you for the loss of Uncle Rick, also from cancer. Although you were older when Uncle Rick got sick, and you “convinced” yourself you could handle it because you knew it was coming, that the inevitability of his passing was sealed in his book of life, you’d literally give anything to sit and enjoy a Burger King cheeseburger and talk Phillies with him for another five minutes. You lose close friends by way of accident, and each loss never gets easier, as if I’m expecting the sudden, unexpected, and emotionally devastating passing of Scott Palek to somehow cushion me from the air constricting, guttural reaction I experience when learning Jeremy Fischer passed. Forty pounds and twice a day anxiety medicine told me that I wasn’t cushioned at all. They all become immediate reminders that the only constant in life is death, and, to quote John Mayer, “we’re never going to stop this train.”

Wrestlemania 33 brought one more reminder of this nonstop train. I remember speaking to my wife a few days before Wrestlemania 33, and saying, “I can’t believe Taker’s wrestling again. I don’t know how much more his body can take. He’s getting older, he’s probably past time to hang it up.” I said these things, not at all expecting him to do just that. I had the same thoughts about Goldberg, Sting, and other titans of professional wrestling coming back for one more round. Like Goldberg and Sting, The Undertaker owes us no more than he’s already given us. He’s entertained me, my brothers, and legions of fans across decades, putting his body and safety on the line in death defying, jaw dropping, heart pounding fashions, each and every time. I, like so many others, plead for more entertainment, more excitement, more action, but in reality, we’re pleading for a return to times long past. We project these fleeting wishes onto The Undertaker, a man who represents the last tangible piece of those times. The Undertaker hasn’t transitioned into that next plane of existence, like Robin Williams, The Ultimate Warrior, Chris Farley, Ryan Dunn, and countless other people, places, and things that no longer exist but in memory. The idea of him, however, his aura, and what he represents, now joins that plane in my mind. The Undertaker was the last tangible piece of my childhood that existed. I could watch his matches and remember that day vividly in the Spectrum, and become lost again as a child, discussing with my brothers whether or not was really dead and what was really in that urn. As I turn the calendar of another year of life, I find myself a year older, and another year as a father. I’ve shifted the life roles from child to father, and my father has become the wise grandfather, imparting wisdom and guidance on days where I can’t imagine my children acting any worse, and him gently reminding me that days like today don’t come back, and the better way to view life was to just breath and enjoy the ride. I snap back into the moment, looking towards two sets of little eyes above chocolate covered faces, and then repeating the Aladdin song to hear the sweet singing voice of my oldest serenade me one more time.

The seven year old boy is crying quietly, arms draped on the railing of the Spectrum, pulling his bent brimmed Seattle Mariners hat over his face to hide the tears, as another one of his heroes, and another, perhaps final, piece of his childhood makes the inevitable transition from present to past, short term to long term memory, taking its place with Uncle Lon, Uncle Rick, lost loves at the beach, and infinite life receipts, to peek out from time to time to remind us of who we are, the roads we’ve traveled, and where we’re headed next.

But I’m sitting here, typing through tears, saying “…maybe one more match for us? Please?”

Thank you for everything, Mark Calaway. You have made my life better and enjoyable in measurable ways I’m not sure I could accurately describe, and I thank you for every single moment of joy, excitement, and entertainment you’ve provided me.

[renaroo]

Wednesday Roundup

It’s that time of the week again, where I fill everyone’s dash with an unnecessary amount of comic love. Or nitpickiness. Depends on the week. And this week we have a lot of variation in genre and publisher! I mean, more than usual, which is saying something if you follow my bizarre and varied tastes ; ) 

In any case, let’s get right into the comics and see how they stand this week!

Image’s Lazarus (2013- ), DC’s Titans (2016- ) Annual, IDW’s Transformers: Lost Light (2016- ), IDW’s Transformers: Till All Are One (2016- )

Image’s Lazarus (2013- ) #26 Greg Rucka, Michael Lark, Arcas

I have been following Lazarus for years now, literally since I heard Rucka promote it on 3 Chicks Review Comics, and I feel like, in a lot of ways, a lot of the feelings, emotions, and just tragedy that has been building up in all that time really comes to a head with this issue. 

Lazarus, more than anything, reads to me as the struggle of autonomy in a world and, especially, in a position where that seems to manufacture everything about you. Forever seeks autonomy from her world, Johanna risks everything to help while seeking it for herself, Eight’s autonomy is being unknowingly stripped from her, and the world of Lazarus continues to show a grim reality where all freedom and personhood is owned and divided between a few international corporate powers -- by a few families that are the 0.000001% and own nearly all of the wealth of the world but still fight amongst themselves for more of it.

Obviously reading this comic four years ago at its start is strikingly different than reading it now, three years into the present where things have... unfortunately struck much different cords. 

This is a dystopia that focuses on the right things, does the right things with its world and its characters. It’s a world that impresses the importance of autonomy for its characters and the face of complete domination from outside forces. And even with its darkness, with its depressing end, there’s a certain catharsis I got this week by realizing this purpose for myself.

DC’s Titans (2016- ) Annual #1 Dan Abnett, Minkyu Jung, Adriano Lucas

There’s a certain love of continuity porn and character drama that is a weakness for long term comic fans in a way that I don’t think that fans of other media really understand as well. Because on its own, you shouldn’t derive absolute goodness on a story based on its references and continuity use, yet I am so weak when it’s utilized in a way to enhance stories. 

Titans for better or worse always seems to deliver for me in that continuity and character relationship way that makes up for nearly any other leaps of logic one could hold against it. I mean, the main villain of this annual is The Key -- a character so obscure I’m pretty sure his fandom consists of ONLY me and that’s mostly because he was a way for young me to draw more comparisons between Connor Hawke’s Green Arrow and Cassandra Cain’s Batgirl. That kind of obscurity. 

This comic delivers on that, but I’d argue that if that was all it was doing, it’d probably be nitpicked by me more -- I mean look at how I rip Detective Comics a new one every two weeks -- and there’s just so much love in this comic and Dan Abnett REALLY adores the original Titans to a point that it’s obvious this is a love letter to the fans of not just this team, but of these characters and their histories. Their legacies -- as was plainly spelled out in this annual.

I loved this, and especially Minkyu Jung’s art on the issue. But I’d be remiss if I didn’t point out that I’m annoyed that we’r once again at the “what are Donna’s origins” point with her character and that Wonder Woman was written just... so weirdly this whole issue. Man it’s amazing how people can just not get Wondy.

Regardless, it was a really fun issue and I’m curious to see where we go from here.

IDW’s Transformers: Lost Light (2016- ) #4 James Roberts, Jack Lawrence, Joana Lafuente

Our gay robots in space soap opera returns in full form with more feelings than you can shake a holographically project tread at. This issue is full of queer romance, robots, blowing things up, and a sense of humor and fridge horror that can only be expected of fans of JRo’s take on the Transformers franchise at this point. 

For instance, I never thought in my life I’d eagerly express to friends that “we have a robot Deadpool” or that Megatron smiling for a single panel would make my heart actually break.

The mystery continues and I’m really interested in seeing what the overall effect of this parallel world will be. After all, they have basically found “Cyberutopia” in a literal dystopia of the home they knew. And Rodimus has literally dove headfirst, recklessly into near certain calamity to spare Ratchet and his team a few moments. Something that doesn’t seem to be ending well for anyone.

I also need to take time to say that. I’m in an awkward, strange place in my personal life. A moment that’s hard to really explain unless you are intimately familiar with me outside of my online presence and... Anode’s story is striking a much needed, though very much hurtful cord with me at the moment and I really, really wish to thank the creative team for her addition to the cast. It hurts but it’s something I really need to see played out in a fictional universe full of gay robots. 

IDW’s Transformers: Till All Are One (2016- ) #8 Mairghread Scott, Sara Pitre-Durocher, Joanna Lafuente

If the goal of Gay Robots Inc. was to rip my heart out a million times today then they succeeded. PHENOMENALLY succeeded. Because ow. 

We’re finally at the end of this expansing storyline of the Titans and I was really worried that its conclusion was going to be questionable due to the fact that it was basically ending a crossover event that itself ended months ago for the other books involved, and that it was dealing with all the complicated issues that built us up to this point in various other books. 

But, my god, they really delivered on this story emotionally, and it was all so well done. The art was beautiful, the characters great -- even the few glimpses of Starscream -- and the hopelessness and desperation we got from Chromia throughout has just solidified for me that she is one of my favorite Transformers period. I adore her,a nd the pain she faces when Windblade’s apparent sacrifice is discovered is just amazing and powerful.

This was a great ending to the arc and I’m highly anticipating the fallout to be handled just as well!

My pick of the week never seems to be easy, but I definitely have to give it this week to Lazarus. This series has come out very slowly over the past three years and continues to prove quality over quantity. It’s probably Rucka’s most passionate project and it shows, especially in an issue as impactful as today that really brings the entire nature and message of the comic full circle. 

[wheredidhiseyebrowsgo]

Yaaaaay you're back!! Missed you! Could you please updated the stiles kicked out of the pack tag or just general badass-ery for stiles. (Sterek please!). Thank you, hope you had a good hoilday break!! :)

Here you go. An update on Stiles Kicked Out of the Pack and here’s our BAMF!Stiles tag which is pretty regularly updated. (Since it’s an update not all of them are Sterek but 99% are~) - Anastasia

Big Bad World by PrincessaBitchessa

(1/? I 610 I Not Rated I No Pairing)

The fic where the Sheriff is a bad parent, everyone sucks ass, and Stiles is broken.

King's Ballad by Bloody_Princess

(1/? I 717 I Explicit I Nogitsune/Stiles I MCD)

Everything is one and the same.

Everything is neither love nor hate.

Everything is Chaos.

Stiles couldn't escape the consequences of being possessed losing not only the trust of his friends and family but the very threads of his sanity. Struggling to survive in Echo House he starts to unravel not only why the Nogitsune chose him instead of Allison and Scott but also who his truly is and the sins that his soul has committed.

Stiles' Angels by CurlyLahey

(2/? I 1,563 I Mature I Sterek)

Four glowing blue eyes and one pair of ominous red ones have plagued his dreams for months on end. Five faces ingrained into his mind. Five faces of five complete strangers, he's never met them but they're there right when he closes his eyes.

Their names are Michael, Lucifer, Raphael, Gabriel and Nyla. They have large, obsidian wings that fan out across their backs. In his dreams, they're ethereal, they radiate power, wisdom and beauty.

One day, they weren't just a dream anymore.

OR...

The one where Stiles gets kicked out of the pack and then realises that Archangels, the object of his dreams, the most powerful beings in all of creation are just like a bunch of kids. They need hugs, they need guidance and love and they need someone to show them the world in a way that billions of years of life experience could never teach.

His name is Stiles Stilinski and Michael, Lucifer, Raphael, Gabriel and Nyla are his angels.

Could It Be Worse? by BeautifulSilence21

(4/20 I 2,552 I Not Rated I Sterek)

Stiles Stilinski is ignored by his pack, deemed as an innocent little human, a liability. Alone, Stiles has noone, or so he thought. What is it with the new woman Stiles hangs out with? And why does Stiles keeps calling her Theia when she clearly stated her name was Ann? Why does she give such a powerful vibe? And the werewolves, why do they feel so submissive when she is around?

Fallen Heroes by captivated

(2/? I 2,579 I General I Sterek I MCD)

Stiles time travels unexpectedly to the Medieval Times, at least a thousand years before he was born. He ends up in Camelot — also known as Albion — and starts to fall in with the crowd. He starts to lose his memories of his family and former friends in Beacon Hills, believing that he himself was all alone in Camelot.

Years and years of being involved with Arthur Pendragon and Merlin, he becomes the Protector of Camelot (honored by King Arthur) and serves as one of the Knights proudly until the battle with Morgana that resulted in losing, Sir Gwaine and Arthur Pendragon in the process.

Shortly after, Stiles is killed and he's sent back to the modern times. The only thing is... he has no memory of living in Beacon Hills or any of his friends. The Pack seems to keep it that way until the fallen heroes of Camelot and the once and future king are resurrected again when Albion is in need once again.

As the fallen heroes reunite, a powerful force will wake up and soon destroy everything in his path to get rid of the heroes of destiny.

wake by sinequanon

(1/1 I 2,856 I Teen I Sterek)

Stiles returns home after completing his magical studies to find that he is slowly being replaced in the pack, and decides that he's not going to stay where he isn't wanted.

Then, the world ends.

Pack Your Bags, You're Coming Home With Me by CaptEdKenway

(1/1 I 3,433 I Mature I Sterek)

Derek looked at him, his heart breaking for the boy. He stood tall, his wolf pacing with the need to protect and comfort. He strode up to him just as Stiles moved forward, towards Derek. Derek enveloped him in a hug while Stiles gripped his shirt tightly, holding on for dear life. Derek cupped the back of Stiles’ head and rocked him, trying to communicate everything he needed to say in that hug. He could hear Stiles mumbling into his neck that he ‘couldn’t do it’, and that was when he noticed the nine millimeter Glock laying on the table.

Somewhere in the Forest, This Dark Heart Beats by IMANTSINMYEYESJOHNSON

(1/? I 5,665 I Explicit I Sterek)

Stiles has a lot of problems, but who can blame him? He's witnessed a lot. In retrospect, he's surprised he hasn't gone completely insane. Or maybe he has? Who knows anymore.He just knows that with the pack having excluded him, there's only so much he can take. Another demonic possession is no exception.

"So you don't have a pack? You don’t have anyone?" Derek's jaw flexes as he shakes his head. "Neither do I."

Way Down We Go by Formaldehyde_Eyes

(3/? I 12,450 I Explicit)

"“Stiles, they need – I need your help, please,” the Sheriff pleaded. When his son didn’t say anything he continued. “It���s Derek. He’s gone.”

Rolling his eyes, Stiles sassed, “Yeah, he does that sometimes.”

“No. Stiles, he was out helping me look for the children who’ve disappeared and now we can’t find him. It’s been four days and we haven’t found anything. The pack says you can help find him, with some sparks or something.”

Stiles couldn’t help but snort at that, even with the dread sinking into his bones. “My spark,” he corrected quietly, knowing that's all they ever wanted him for."

As Stiles reluctantly helps the pack that pushed him away, dark monsters and surprising truths find their way to the surface.

Legion by CurlyLahey

(14/? I 20,450 I Mature I Stiles/OC)

When Stiles is pushed out of the pack he's miserable, angry, hurt, confused and upset. They couldn't even look him in the eye when they did it. They didn't even care that he was falling apart right in front of them. When Stiles begins to feel like he really is useless; he meets Cataleya Mikaelson.

Cataleya and her siblings are The Originals, the first vampires ever created. Cataleya lives in Beacon Hills and she meets Stiles one night and just thought he was too pale for her to drink from. The two form an unlikely bond and it becomes a friendship filled to the brim with sarcasm, supernatural and wit. The Mikaelson siblings show Stiles how much he's worth and actually treat him as an equal.

The McCall pack wants Stiles back but they came to that conclusion just a tad too late. The Mikaelsons aren't letting Stiles go so easily and Stiles isn't sure he wants to.

Tales of Sparks and Lightning by graveltotempo

(3/? I 37,205 I Teen I Sterek)

Life had not been very kind to Stiles Stilinski.He lost his mother at an early age, and watched many of his friends die while he was still in high school. He had looked at death in the eye more than once in that year alone.He had thought about dying. More than once. He had always expected to die mauled by a supernatural creature that wasn't supposed to exist, or piss off the wrong werewolf, or try Derek one too many times: all of his deaths included a ferocious battle for survival.But this? This wasn’t him being incredibly stupid. He had lived in Beacon Hills dodging supernatural mauling and killer trees just to die in a stupid airplane crash.After all that had happened, he was going to die by human hands.

Let me run away by Littleredridinghunter

(1/1 I 45,339 I Not Rated I Sterek)

Stiles overhears the pack talking about kicking him out. He leaves town and stumbles onto a television set and his whole life changes abruptly. Monsters hide around every corner and not just the supernatural kind.

It's all part of the master plan by Littleredridinghunter

(1/1 I 57,188 I Not Rated I Sterek)

When Gerard kidnaps Stiles at the lacrosse game, nobody knows he was taken, nodoby knows how bad it was. Stiles swears Erica and Boyd to secrecy.

When the pack finally find out about it they do everything they can to help him heal and protect him from future threats.

Too bad that they don't manage to do that.

[theliterateape]

Finding What Really Matters When It All Shifts for the Worse

By Don Hall

The Vegas mid-day sky is strangely dark and slightly orange. The sun, ordinarily a blazing hot laser that has this amazing hostility in the desert, is muted. I can stare right at it and see it’s perfect circle. It is the stuff of a Ridley Scott dystopia.

At this moment, my mind goes to the end of the world place. I know the haze comes from California currently on fire in so many places that the smoke has drifted as far as Kansas but is still thick here. It smells like a Webber charcoal grill just before the steaks go on. I wonder if the clothes I’m wearing are my apocalyptic outfit, the costume of my End of Days character. I’m not sure if the shoes will hold up to Cormac’s Road but the jeans have some staying power, I think. The vest, at least, will look cool as the planet descends into galactic irrelevance.

If this is it, that minute when it all goes to shit, did I remember to tell my mom I love her? Was my last kiss on my wife’s lips worthy of being our, you know, last kiss? Will I remember, months from now as I scavenge cold canned food out of abandoned grocery stores to survive, the feast of a club sandwich, fries, and a Dr. Pepper as bounty?

Did I write about things and ideas worth reading and soon, long after the digital footprint is erased by the absence of electricity, will anyone remember them?

I grew up reading about the demise of civilization. King’s The Stand was among my favorite books. Movies about the nuclear holocaust destined to come, pandemics devastating humanity, zombies hoarding through empty cities. The inhumanity of humans balanced with the kindness of survivors. Hard choices following devastating loss.

Yeah. I think what makes my specific brand of optimism potent is the always present knowledge of impermanence. Mortality is never far from my thoughts although it is not the fear of death or pain that permeates the brainstew. It’s the billions of distractions spent eating up the life being lived just before the end that fascinate and horrify me.

This too shall pass is both a salve for those in troubled times and a warning for those whose heads are stuck so far up their cakeholes that they miss the importance of significant but easily discarded life.

I’d like to believe that if we all were a bit more in tune with the fact that the party eventually ends we might be the slightest bit more grateful for that last Solo cup of beer and that final bite of cheese. We’ll feel pretty fucking stupid taking for granted a hug when there is suddenly no one left to embrace.

I stare at the sun for that beat and the moment passes. I head back into the casino for more of the bizarre, the mundane, and the simple weird day-to-day of managing the swing shift in a casino at the end of the world. Boulevard of Broken Dreams, my ass. The fractured lives of gamblers on the ass end of broke-dick is more like it.

On a corner slot machine sits Ted. That isn’t his name as far as I know but Random Addict Homeless White Guy Mumbling to Himself is too burdensome for an essay so Ted will do. Ted has been here before. Ted could be thirty-five years old or somewhere north of sixty. Who knows? The desert sun has a way of fossilizing age.

My general manager has tossed him from the place for refusing to wear a mask. I physically threw him out in the parking lot when he decided he was going to get a free drink and scream his ass off in order to get it. When I tried to get him out the door, he started screaming “Don’t you put your hands on me!” My response was “Or what?” His reaction was to try to break the glass on one of the exit doors. I grabbed him by the back of the shirt and shoved him onto the pavement.

As the Nice Manager or the Manager of Multiple Chances I figure as long as he’s not bothering people or acting up, he’s fine to play his found two dollars for a beer and a chance to get out of the heat. He has a tall boy beer in his pocket. “Yo. Don’t open that beer on the casino floor or I’ll have to chuck it in the can.” He nods in a frenetic way and continues to slowly push the penny bet button.

I remind him to wear the fucking mask (really a red bandana but who quibbles in a pandemic?) and he haphazardly pulls it up. I register a sour smell from him. A combination of weeks of sweat dried, booze, and something else unpleasant.

A few minutes later, he’s up at the cage trying to cash in cash vouchers for $0.03 and $0.11 that he has found in machines abandoned by players who couldn’t be bothered with the small change after losing. This practice, known as ticket surfing is forbidden so it’s time for Ted to head out for the day.

He takes the news better this time as me booting him from the property is now semi-routine. He points to the machine he was playing. “Someone left those cigarettes. Are those yours?” he asks.

“Not mine. I smoke but not cigarettes. No one seems to want them so if you do, they’re yours.”

“You don’t want them?”

“Nah. Menthol. You couldn’t pay me to smoke menthol.”

“I can have them?”

“Yup.” I hand him what looks like three-quarters of a pack of Newports.

Another moment. A microcosm expanded.

The look on his face—surprise, gratitude, sadness, desperation—freezes time.

How did Ted go from being an eight-year-old boy just like I once was and end up, in this moment, here? What was his journey in this descent?

The feeling in my core isn’t pity or empathy. It isn’t some virtuous need to demonstrate kindness or a need to save him. It’s almost a clinical interest in his story. A desire to understand his path and how it diverged from my own. Looking at a disaster and wondering how I avoided the same. Genes? Upbringing? Dumb luck?

At once I am struck by the things I fail to appreciate in my life. In the midst of the frustration with so much of society, with the struggles with the needs and complaints of so many, I recognize the absolute necessity in reflection. Staring for a moment in the mirror, not at myself in the narcissism of the social media age, but at the people and things around me that keep me from walking those footsteps of the apocalypse, from dancing the sad death spiral Ted seems to be on.

This too shall pass.

A Las Vegas friend with ties to Chicago made an odd comment recently. He was commenting on his enjoyment of Johnny Depp films and said “I’m truly fascinated by the work of those who have been cancelled. Depp, you...”

Wait. I was cancelled?

I suppose, in some ways, I was. My frame is that Chicago was as done with me as I was Chicago but no one can present themselves from within their own lens. Everyone sees everyone else the way they choose to and if some see my trajectory in that way, I suppose it doesn’t change things for me.

It’s that lens thing that gets to the point, right? The world is as you choose to see it. Not so much as a frame for truth (because that whole “I’m living my truth” is some ego-driven prattle) but as a guide for how one behaves. 

There are always going to be people who will take advantage you. Always. You can choose to then see everyone as a potential grifter or choose to avoid assigning guilt before specificity. The choice will determine how you approach every relationship you enter into. It will dictate how you treat strangers. It will stipulate the terms of your own social contract.

We are living out big history right now. The events we are enduring are going to be taught in history classes for hundreds of years. For those folks living in 2120, the COVID pandemic of 2020, the reign of Donald Trump, the results of decades of climate change, will all be chapters in the book.

In Brian DePalma’s Vietnam film Casualties of War there is a moment that sticks in my mind. This is certainly a paraphrase so don’t get your little girl panties up in a wad about accuracy but at one point a character looks at Michael J. Fox and states that nothing matters in the conflict. That with the horrors surrounding them, no one is looking at the brutal behavior of single individuals so who cares.

Fox’s character’s response is simply that maybe, when no one is looking, when the world is on fire, maybe it is even more vital to do the right thing. When everyone is angry and misunderstanding everyone else, when war envelopes us all, maybe that is the exact time to be kinder and less angry.

This too shall pass and we will still be here. The world feels like it’s ending a lot more than it did when I was reading The Stand and listening obsessively to Maynard Ferguson. Perhaps the immediacy of knowing at every second what everyone is doing and feeling has something to do with that. I don’t know.

I suspect that the world will never end, at least not in the way our active dreaming envisions it. The world, whether it includes us or not, will continue to turn. Each day will follow the next. Maybe it takes the form of a Mad Max world or a dystopia where Kevin Costner is the postman hero. I can almost guarantee that the momentary vitriol and infighting over identity, over politics, over whether to wear a mask or how we fund college will not be on the radar.

At this particular end of the world it’s that kiss and on my wife’s lips, that FaceTime call to Mom, that fucking dry-ass club sandwich that matter. It’s the fact that I had the privilege to take a hot shower, that I’m remarkably COVID-free, and I own more than one pair of shoes (despite wearing the less durable pair today) that count.

We have bigger fish to fry and even those, too, will pass.

When it comes, at least I’ll be wearing this cool ass vest.

[phillipcole]

Post-AGT Appearance 1061: Scott Shannon in the Morning February 5

My efforts on behalf of the Libertarian Party would have prompted about 2 million Democrats to leave the party since 2016, but many would return to vote in the primaries this year, so I’ll assume the Iowa caucus vote would be about the same as it is.  Nothing would change the technical difficulties that leave the count unfinished this morning.  Shannon would not call me on Tuesday.  That would be good news because I’d be hung over from Chris Janson’s concoction.  I’d be fully sober today though, preparing to leave home for a flight to Portland, Oregon to start a 2-week tour of the northwest.  We would talk early in his last hour of the show.

Shannon: Welcome back to Scott Shannon in the Morning.  Joining us on the phone right now is Phil Cole, entertainer, actor, comedian, and-on this show, political commentator.  Welcome Phil, how are you?

PBC: Doing well, thank you. 

Shannon: And where are you?

PBC: Home, Garden Grove, California, soon to catch a plain to the northwest.

Shannon: Now before we address the Iowa caucus, you’ve been very busy.  Your film-Attack of the flying Oysters, was a hit.

PBC: 111 million.

Shannon: Any Oscar nominations?

PBC: No!  They told me no one had enough lines for best actor and actress, and no one could win supporting actor because we didn’t support each other really.

Shannon: Just the oysters ha ha.

PBC: Yeah.

Shannon: And your songs are tearing up the charts.

PBC: I’ve never seen so many charts.  Do you play any on your station?

Shannon: No.  We do oldies here and these are all original tunes.

PBC: In 20 years boy!

Shannon: Well, I have your email from the other day about the Iowa caucus.

PBC: Did you open the envelope from last week?

Shannon: I’m opening it now.

PBC: I get more asterisks if you look at both of them.

Shannon: Not to mention we still have only partial results.

PBC: Even better for me.

Shannon: So I’ll start at the bottom.  Our Mayor Bloomberg you picked for last with 0 votes.

PBC: And how did he do?

Shannon: He’s 11th with 6 votes, behind Uncommitted and Others.

PBC: We can’t count Others.  Also that’s in the total human voters total.  There’s another list for the state representatives and I think that still has a 4-way tie for last.

Shannon: Oh yes!  Bloomberg, Deval Patrick, Tulsi Gabbard and Michael Bennet are all tied for last.  And you picked Patrick one percent, None of the Above for 2%, then Bennet at 3% and Gabbards at 4%.

PBC: I needed whole numbers for the ranking, but I had a feeling they might all be listed at 0 or less than 2.  So None of the above is the one I got wrong.

Shannon: Yes, uncommitted is in eighth place and you picked it for, I guess, tenth now with Delaney out of the race, 11 candidates.  What happens to those 3 delegates now?

PBC: They pick anyone they want. 

Shannon: Good for them.  Moving on to the candidates with actual votes on both lists we have   billionaire Tom Steyer in seventh place.  You had him in sixth place with 6%, then Andrew Yang, New York billionaire in fifth place with 7%.  Yang is ahead of Steyer.  He’s ahead on both lists, but in the human head count he’s ahead of Uncommitted, Steyer behind Uncommitted.  On the delegate vote total. Yang has 16, Steyer 5 and uncommitted 3.  They’re all around 1% or less.  So you didn’t do too badly on the bottom.

PBC: Yes, and because I had to use whole numbers I had fewer percentage votes for the top 5.

Shannon: Well, John Delaney, who you originally picked for 5% of the vote, just below the 2 billionaires, dropped out last Friday, and you made a big change in the people just above.  You had Amy Klobuchar at 8%, just ahead of Steyer and Yang.  Then you jumper her ahead of Elizabeth Warren to 12%.

PBC: And what does she have?

Shannon: She’s in fifth place with 12%.

PBC: So I had her rank right last week and her percentage right after the adjustment.

Shannon: Asterisks king!  Next we have Joe Biden, a surprising fourth place in the results announced so far.  You picked him in second place on both lists.

PBC: With what percentage?

Shannon: You had him second with 16% on the first list, then bumped him up to 18%.  

PBC: And what does he have?

Shannon: 15.4% on the delegate list.

PBC: Which you might round up to 16 to make my first prediction of percentage right even though the placement was different.

Shannon: so you’re calling that a right prediction too!

PBC: Why not!  I think a lot of people had him first.

Shannon: They did indeed.  Why do you think he’s struggling?

PBC: Who wants a 78-year-old man when you can have a 79-year-old man?

Shannon: Good point.  Next is Elizabeth Warren.  She’s third with  18% of the votes and 20% of the delegates, or is it 18% of the delegates and 20% of the votes?  Either way, you’re wrong!

PBC: Can’t claim anything about that.

Shannon: You moved her from 4th to 5th with 10%, 12% originally.

PBC: If I didn’t have to go 1 2 3 4 5 6 with the bottom people she would have had a few more, but I think this might be wishful thinking.  Is she happy with third place?

Shannon: I’m not sure.

PBC: I don’t dare look.

Shannon: Ha ha I forgot to mention, your associate Phillip is back in the hospital, right?

PBC:  Coma again.

Shannon: I thought he was comfortable with the administration now.

PBC: I don’t think anyone’s too comfortable with this administration, but he was prepared to survive the term until you know who joined the defense team.

Shannon: The vote on the impeachment is today, any prediction?

PBC: Not enough to convict.

Shannon: Moving on, we have a problem at the top of the list.  Buttigieg has the most delegates and Bernie Sanders has the most total votes.

PBC: Worse than the Electoral College, isn’t it.

Shannon: You had Buttigieg in third place, way down at 13%, but you picked Sanders first with 26% which is exactly where he stands at the moment.

PBC: Right, so I’m claiming the bottom 4 humans, Klobuchar, Biden by percentage and Sanders.  That’s 7 of 12.  I’ve got Yang and Steyer reversed, one off, Warren one off on the original list and Buttigieg one off on the human vote list, so I was within one position with everyone except None of the above.

Shannon: That’s pretty good.  Do you have any predictions for New Hampshire?

PBC: I’ll send you a letter.

Shannon: Thanks so much, good luck on tour.

PBC: Thank you.

Shannon: Stay with us for the music of your life.