#i never said i couldn't talk in the tags so i will talk
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𝙐𝙣𝙨𝙘𝙧𝙞𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝘾𝙝𝙚𝙢𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙮 | 𝙋.𝙅.
Pairing ⇀ Crush Best Friend! Park Jongseong x (F) Reader
Synopsis ⇀ You’ve always had a crush on Lee Heeseung ever since he gave you a note, also considering the fact he was one of the most popular boys in school. Considering being popular yourself, you just can’t seem to get his attention no matter what you do. So you decide to fake date Jay, Heeseung's best friend, to get Heeseungs attention. Despite thinking that Jay hates you, you go along with the plan, hoping that Heeseung will finally notice you. As the charade progresses, you found out Heeseung is attracted to people who are experienced. However, you’re a virgin. So why not ask Jay to take your virginity? No feelings will be involved, right?
Genre ⇀ Smut, High School au, Angst, Fluff
Warnings ⇀ MINORS DNI!!!, Cursing, Partying, One sided love, Crying, Drinking, Miscommunications, Jealousy, Break ups, Misunderstanding, Lying, Eating out, Breath play, Grinding, Hickeys, Slow sex, Phone sex, Fingering, Jerking off, Dirty talk, Humiliation, Overstimulation (f), Dom! Jay x Sub! Reader, Missionary, No protection (wrap it up), Aftercare, Receiving (m&f), Jealous sex, Making out, Doggy style, Spanking, Hair pulling, Orgasm Control, Rough sex, Name calling (Good girl, Babe, etc.), Choking, Multiple orgasms, Breeding kink, Blowjob, lmk if I missed any!
W.c ⇀ 16.8k
A/n ⇀ I had to rewrite so many of this because I wasn’t satisfied but I finally finished it! I never made a fic that has more than one sex scene so bear with me on that ^^ If you would like to be on the perm tag list, click here! Like, reblog, comment, etc.! Hope you enjoy! Not proofread!
Masterlist here!
The school courtyard was buzzing with energy as students milled about, chatting and laughing. You, being one of the popular students, were used to the attention and the constant buzz around you.
Today, however, felt different. You decided to take a moment for yourself and sat down on one of the benches, enjoying the brief respite from the chaos.
As you were scrolling through your phone, lost in your own world, a shadow fell over you. Looking up, you saw a guy you vaguely recognized from one of your classes. He was holding something in his hand, and he looked a bit teasing.
"Hey," he said, shifting from foot to foot, “This is for you."
You raised an eyebrow, curious, “From who?"
He pointed across the courtyard, and your eyes followed his gesture. There, standing with a group of his friends, was Lee Heeseung, one of the school's star basketball players. He was tall, with an athletic build, and a smile that could light up a room. Your heart skipped a beat as you took in his appearance. He was undeniably attractive.
The guy handed you a small envelope and quickly walked away, leaving you to process what had just happened. You looked down at the envelope, your curiosity piqued. Opening it, you found a simple note inside:
Hey, I noticed you sitting here and thought you might like this.
You glanced back at Heeseung, who was now looking your way. When your eyes met, he gave you a small, confident smile and a nod. You felt your cheeks heat up, and your heart leaped in your chest. You gave him back a shy smile and waved. It wasn't every day that someone like Lee Heeseung noticed you, let alone sent you a note and a candy bar.
For the rest of the day, you couldn't get Heeseung out of your mind. His smile, the way he carried himself, and the fact that he had gone out of his way to send you a note – it all made your heart race. You found yourself looking forward to seeing him again, wondering if there might be more to this unexpected connection.
That happened about a month ago. Now, you’re still here waiting for him to make a move, and yet he hasn’t. You thought he was just a shy guy which was probably why he gave you a note, but you smiled back at him. So wouldn’t that give him a hint?
You were sitting in the library, deeply engrossed in your studies. The upcoming exams were looming over you, and you wanted to make sure you were fully prepared. The library was quiet, with only the soft rustling of pages and the occasional whisper breaking the silence. You were so focused on your work that you didn't notice Kazuha approaching until she was right beside you.
“Hey, are you going to the bonfire this weekend?" Kazuha asked, her eyes sparkling with excitement.
You looked up from your books, a bit surprised by her sudden appearance, “I wish I could, but I can't," You replied, sighing, "I have so much to study for, and I really need to focus."
Kazuha pouted, clearly disappointed, "Come on, you need a break! You've been studying non-stop. Plus, it's going to be so much fun. Everyone's going to be there!"
You hesitated, knowing she was right. You had been pushing yourself hard, and a little break wouldn't hurt. But the thought of falling behind on your studies made you nervous, "I don't know, Kazuha. I really need to do well on these exams."
Kazuha wasn't giving up that easily. She leaned in closer, her eyes pleading, “Please? Just for a few hours? You deserve to have some fun too.”
Seeing your hesitation, Kazuha pressed on, “Come on, it'll be great. You can study all you want after the party. Just think about it – a chance to finally talk to Heeseung!"
You sighed, feeling the weight of your decision, "Alright, fine. I'll go to the bonfire," You said, finally giving in, "But only for a little while."
Kazuha's face lit up with joy, "Yes! You won't regret it, I promise. It's going to be amazing."
As the weekend approached, you found yourself getting more and more excited about the bonfire. You spent extra time picking out an outfit, hoping to make a good impression. When the night of the party finally arrived, you felt a mix of nerves and anticipation.
The bonfire was located at the beach. The ocean flowed softly together as the moon shone over the people. There was loud music playing and it was filled with people dancing and laughing. You scanned the crowd, looking for Heeseung. After a few minutes, you spotted him sitting down at the bonfire, talking to a group of friends.
You jumped when you suddenly felt hands around your arms, “You made it!” Kazuha squealed. You gave her a chimed smile.
“I did.” You replied. She grabbed your arm and took you to the bonfire where Heeseung was sitting and sat you across from him.
“I’ll be right back! Here’s a drink.” She said. She gave you a red cup and walked past people, disappearing into the crowd.
You sipped your drink as you scanned the faces illuminated by the flickering flames. Your eyes landed on Heeseung, who was sitting across from you, engrossed in a conversation with his friends. Despite the noise and the number of people around, he hadn’t seemed to notice you.
You decided to just look for Kazuha. You maneuvered through the crowd, your eyes scanning for Kazuha. The salty breeze carried the scent of the ocean, mingling with the smoky aroma of the bonfire.
As you rounded a corner, your attention momentarily diverted by a burst of laughter, you collided with someone. Your drink splashed out of your cup, drenching the front of a pristine white shirt. You looked up, your heart sinking as you recognized the face glaring down at you. It was Jay, and he did not look pleased.
"Watch where you're going," He snapped, his voice laced with irritation as he wiped at the damp stain spreading across his shirt.
You scoffed, rolling your eyes, "Maybe you should watch where you're standing," You retorted, matching his tone with an edge of your own. It wasn't the first time you'd clashed with Jay, and it seemed like he always had an attitude with you.
Jay's eyes narrowed, his jaw tightening, "Just be more careful next time," He said curtly before turning away, leaving you standing there with a mix of frustration and confusion.
As you walked away, you couldn't help but wonder why Jay always seemed to have it out for you. He was your crush's best friend, after all, and you couldn't understand why he always seemed so annoyed whenever you were around.
The thought lingered in your mind, adding a layer of complexity to the evening's events. The bonfire continued to burn brightly, but your thoughts were clouded with questions about Jay and his inexplicable attitude towards you. And how the hell Heeseung is friends with him.
You finally spotted Kazuha near the edge of the ocean, chatting with a few friends. Relief washed over you as you approached her, still feeling the sting of your encounter with Jay. Kazuha greeted you with a bright smile, but it quickly faded when she saw the look on your face.
"What's wrong?" She asked, concern evident in her voice.
You sighed, glancing around to make sure no one else was listening, "I'm just going to head home, Kazuha. Heeseung isn't paying any attention to me, and I just had a run-in with Jay. It's been a rough night."
Kazuha frowned, shaking her head, "No way, you're not leaving yet. I have an idea." Her eyes lit up with a mischievous glint, and before you could protest, she grabbed your hand and started pulling you back towards the bonfire.
"Kazuha, what are you doing?" You asked, trying to keep up with her determined pace.
"We're going to play Spin the Bottle," She announced loudly as you both reached the group. The chatter around the fire died down as everyone turned to look at her, "Come on, it'll be fun!"
You sighed, knowing there was no arguing with Kazuha when she got an idea in her head. Reluctantly, you sat down in the circle forming around the bonfire. Your eyes scanned the faces around you, and your heart skipped a beat when you saw Jay sitting next to Heeseung. He had thrown a flannel over his stained shirt, but you could still see the remnants of your drink on the fabric.
Jay's gaze met yours for a brief moment, and you quickly looked away, feeling a mix of embarrassment and annoyance. Heeseung, oblivious to the tension, seemed excited about the game, his smile lighting up the night.
As the bottle was placed in the center and the first spin began, you couldn't help but feel a sense of dread and anticipation. As you glanced at Kazuha, her encouraging smile gave you a bit of comfort.
The game of Spin the Bottle was in full swing, and you watched as the bottle spun and landed on different people around the circle. Laughter and cheers filled the air each time someone was chosen, but so far, the bottle hadn't landed on you. You tried to keep your cool, but the anticipation was starting to get to you. Kazuha, sitting beside you, noticed your growing unease and gave you a reassuring smile.
"Don't worry, your turn will come," She whispered.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the bottle slowed and came to a stop, pointing directly at you. Your heart raced as all eyes turned to you. Before you could react, Kazuha stood up and clapped her hands to get everyone's attention.
"Okay, since I started the game, I get to choose who she kisses!" She declared. A chorus of groans and protests erupted from the group.
"That's not fair!" Someone shouted.
"You can't just make up rules!" Another voice chimed in.
Kazuha held up her hands to calm everyone down, "Come on, it's just one time. Let me have this," She pleaded, her eyes sparkling with mischief. Reluctantly, the group quieted down, and Kazuha turned to you with a knowing smile.
"I choose Heeseung," She said triumphantly. Your heart skipped a beat as you looked over at Heeseung. He met your gaze, and you saw a smirk slowly spread across his face. For a moment, you thought he was going to stand up and come over to you, but then he turned his head and looked at Jay.
"Actually, I think Jay should do it," Heeseung said, his voice filled with amusement.
The entire circle fell silent, and you could feel the shock ripple through the group. Kazuha's mouth fell open, and you were just as stunned. Jay, sitting next to Heeseung, looked equally surprised, his eyes wide as he glanced between you and Heeseung.
"Uh, what?" Jay stammered, clearly caught off guard.
Heeseung's smirk grew wider, "You heard me. Go ahead, Jay."
You felt a mix of emotions swirling inside you—confusion, embarrassment, and a strange sense of curiosity. Jay didn’t stand up and it seemed like forever.
Kazuha immediately tried to interject, "No, Heeseung, I really think—"
But before she could finish, Jay stood up abruptly, "I'll do it," He said firmly, cutting her off. The determination in his voice shocked everyone, especially you. Your heart pounded in your chest as Jay walked towards you, each step making you more nervous.
As Jay got closer, you could feel your palms getting sweaty. The room seemed to close in around you, and your mind raced with a thousand thoughts. Just as he was leaning in, his eyes locked onto yours, you felt a surge of panic. You couldn't do this.
Without thinking, you bolted up from your seat and ran from the scene. You heard Kazuha calling your name, but you ignored her, your feet moving faster than ever. You pushed through other group of people and sprinted to your car, fumbling with your keys in your haste. Finally, you unlocked the door, jumped in, and slammed it shut behind you.
Sitting in the driver's seat, you took a deep breath, trying to calm your racing heart. You didn’t know why you felt so nervous to kiss Jay. Maybe it was because of the incident? You weren’t sure as you started your car and drove him.
As you drive home, the city lights blur past your window, casting a warm glow inside your car. The hum of the engine is a comforting background noise, and you find yourself lost in thought about the day's events. The streets are quiet, and you feel a sense of calm as you pull into your driveway.
Once inside, you kick off your shoes and head straight to your room. As you settle down, you notice a missed call from Kazuha. You quickly dial her back, and she picks up almost immediately.
“Hey, are you okay?” Kazuha’s concerned voice comes through the line.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” You reply, though your mind is still racing, “I just didn’t know what to do.”
Kazuha sighs softly, “Jay didn’t seem mad that you left, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
You pause, biting your lip, “Why would Heeseung want Jay to kiss me, though?”
“I don’t know,” Kazuha admits, “Heeseung seemed normal about it, but he left after a while.”
You nod, even though she can’t see you, “Thanks, Kazuha. I’m just going to head to bed now. Talk tomorrow?”
“Of course. Goodnight,” She says.
“Goodnight,” You reply, ending the call. You lie down, thoughts still swirling but feeling a bit more at ease. Tomorrow is a new day. You close your eyes, anticipation and confusion bubbling within you as you drift off to sleep.
The next morning, you wake up with a mix of excitement. After a quick shower, you pick out a cute but comfortable outfit, knowing you'll be out for a while. As you're finishing up, you get a text from Kazuha saying she's on her way to pick you up for a shopping trip.
When Kazuha arrives, you hop into her car, and you both chat about random things on the way to the mall. The mall is bustling with people, and the two of you dive into various stores, trying on clothes and laughing at some of the more outrageous fashion choices.
After a couple of hours, you both decide to take a break and stop at a cozy coffee shop. As you sip on your drink, Kazuha turns to you with a serious look.
“So, are you ever gonna shoot your shot with Heeseung?” She asks, raising an eyebrow.
You sigh, stirring your drink absentmindedly, “I don’t know how to get closer to him.”
Kazuha taps her chin, then suddenly her eyes light up, “I’ve got an idea. Why don’t you fake date someone close to him? That’s like one of the top things people do.”
You blink, processing her suggestion, “Who?”
Kazuha rolls her eyes at your cluelessness, “Jay, duh.”
You choke on your drink in shock, staring at her, “I can’t ask that of Jay after that incident!”
Kazuha just shrugs, “Why not? You talk to Jay the most out of Heeseung’s friends.”
You shake your head, feeling overwhelmed, “Jay hates me.”
Kazuha leans back, a smirk playing on her lips, “He was gonna kiss you either way. Just try.”
You sit there, thinking about it. The idea is crazy, but maybe it’s just crazy enough to work. You glance at Kazuha, who’s watching you expectantly, and nod slowly, “Okay, I’ll try.”
Kazuha grins, and you feel a flutter of anticipation. You weren’t sure if this stupid plan was gonna work, but as Kazuha says, she’s always right.
After spending the day shopping and chatting with Kazuha, you finally head back home, bags in hand and a lot on your mind. Kazuha's words echo in your head: "Just try." You can't help but think about how crazy the idea is, but a part of you is curious about what might happen if you actually went through with it.
As you flop onto your bed, you decide to check your phone. There's a message from Kazuha with a link to Jay's Instagram. Your heart races as you open the app and see his profile. You feel a wave of nervousness wash over you, but you remember Kazuha's encouragement. Taking a deep breath, you decide to go for it. You hit the follow button and then, with trembling fingers, you start typing a message.
l/n.y/n: Jay, are you single?
You type, wincing at how blunt it sounds. But it's too late to back out now. You hit send and toss your phone aside, feeling a mix of dread and anticipation.
A few minutes later, your phone buzzes. You pick it up and see a notification from Instagram. It's a message from Jay. Your heart pounds as you open it, wondering what his response will be.
js_park_: What do you want
You pouted at his bluntness. This was gonna be harder than expected. You decided to just go along and get it over with.
l/n.y/n: I need your help. Like really bad. This may come out weird to you, but I need you to fake date me cause I have a crush on Heeseung and he just doesn’t seem to notice me and since your a good friend of his I was hoping you would go along with it. Once he likes me back you don’t have to talk to me at all or even see my existence! So what do you say?
He read it almost immediately making your heart skip a beat. About a few seconds later he responded back.
js_park_: I’d see you all the time then if you date Heeseung. So no.
You groaned stressed out. He was making this way to hard for you. You knew you couldn’t ask any of his other friends. Jake’s taken, and Sunghoon just straight seems like he doesn’t want no fake dating or a real relationship. You tried to think of another idea. That’s when you suddenly remembered something. You quickly texted back urgently.
l/n.y/n: I’ll get you that guitar you’ve been talking about in class.
js_park_: Cost a lot of money, but if you insist. So when are we starting?
You pumped your fist up in victory. You decided to just start as quick as possible and texted him the details.
l/n.y/n: Tomorrow. Pick me up first thing in the morning and we NEED to show PDA. I don’t like it either but if we need to get Heeseung attention then that’s what we should do. Oh and also, no kissing.
js_park_: Or, we could exchange numbers instead of texting here? It’s weird.
You rolled your eyes.
l/n.y/n: [xxx-xxx-xxxx]. That’s my number.
js_park_: Alright, text you tomorrow.
l/n.y/n: 👍
Seen
You took a deep breath in and out. All you have to do is just show PDA. Nothing too serious. And besides, no kissing will be involved, so you have nothing to worry about. Right?
You wake up to the sound of your phone ringing. Still groggy, you reach over and grab it, expecting to see Kazuha's name on the screen. Instead, you're surprised to see Jay's name flashing. Confused, you answer the call.
"Hello?" you mumble, rubbing your eyes.
"Hey, where do you live?" Jay's voice comes through the speaker, sounding wide awake and slightly amused.
“Jay? What?" you ask, still half-asleep and trying to make sense of the situation, "It's early," You add, glancing at the clock. It's barely past dawn.
"Yeah, I don't know if you knew, but I have morning basketball practice," He replies sarcastically, making you smile despite your confusion.
"Oh, right," You say, suddenly remembering, "Uh, my address is [123 Address Name]."
"Great, I'm on my way," He says before hanging up.
You sit up in bed, trying to shake off the last remnants of sleep. Realizing you don't have much time, you quickly get dressed, throwing on your uniform and running a brush through your hair. Just as you're finishing up, your phone buzzes again.
Jay: I'm here.
You take a deep breath and head outside, finding Jay's car parked in front of your house. You walk over and open the passenger door, sliding in.
"Morning," You say, still a bit dazed but excited.
"Morning," Jay replies with a grin, "Ready to start the day?"
You nod, giving him a tired smile. Jay starts the car, and you both drive towards the school. The early morning streets are quiet, and the sun is just beginning to rise, casting a soft glow over everything. You can't help but feel a little nervous but also excited about this unexpected start to your day.
When you arrive at the school, Jay parks the car, and you both get out. He leads the way to the gym, where you can already hear the faint sounds of basketballs bouncing and sneakers squeaking on the court. As you enter the gym, you see some of Jay's teammates warming up and chatting.
Jay turns to you with a teasing smile, "So, are you gonna give me a hug goodbye?" He asks, clearly enjoying your embarrassment.
You feel your cheeks heat up, but you step forward and give him a quick hug. As you pull away, you hear Jake's voice ring out, "Since when did you guys start dating?"
You glance over and see Jake looking at you both with wide eyes, and Heeseung is there too, watching intently along with the rest of the team. You quickly say goodbye to Jay, avoiding Jake's question.
"Bye, babe," Jay says jokingly, earning a narrow glare from you before you turn to leave.
As you walk away, you hear Jake ask Jay again, "Seriously, dude, what's going on?"
Jay just pats Jake's shoulder with a knowing grin, "Don't worry about it," He says, leaving Jake and the others looking dumbfounded as he jogs over to join the rest of the team for practice.
You walked to the school doors, your heart racing with embarrassment. The plan to make Heeseung notice you has officially begun, and you can't help but feel a sense of anticipation for what will happen next.
Later that day, you finally have a class with Jay. As you both settle into your seats, you decide to fill him in on the rest of your plan.
"So, here's the deal," You begin, pulling out your schedule, "These are my classes, and I need you to walk me to each of them."
Jay groans, leaning back in his chair, "Do I really have to do all of that?"
"Yes," You insist, "I pass by Heeseung a lot between classes, and he'll definitely notice if we're always together."
Jay rolls his eyes but eventually relents, "Whatever," he mutters, clearly not thrilled but willing to go along with it.
As the class begins, you find it hard to focus. Your mind keeps drifting to the plan and how it might play out. Will Heeseung really notice? And if he does, will he care? You glance over at Jay, who seems more interested in doodling in his notebook than paying attention to the lecture.
Despite his nonchalant attitude, you can't help but feel grateful that he's willing to help you out, even if it means going through the motions of fake dating.
The rest of the class passes in a blur as you continue to mull over your thoughts. By the time the bell rings, signaling the end of the period, you've resolved to stick to the plan and see it through. You gather your things and look over at Jay, who gives you a small nod.
"Ready for the next class?" He asks, standing up and slinging his backpack over his shoulder.
"Yeah," You reply, feeling a renewed sense of determination. As you both walk out of the classroom holding hands, you noticed a lot of students whispering and looking at you guys. This was gonna be a lot tougher than you thought.
Jay walks you to your next class, and just as you're about to enter, you spot Heeseung walking past. Your heart leaps when he gives Jay a friendly smile. Then, Heeseung looks at you, and for a moment, everything seems to slow down. He nods, and you manage to return a nervous smile, feeling a mixture of excitement and anxiety.
Jay leaves with a casual wave, but not without giving a knowing smirk. You rolled your eyes and headed into the classroom, still replaying the brief interaction with Heeseung in your mind. You try to focus on your work, but your thoughts keep drifting back to that smile and nod. It feels like a small victory, a sign that your plan might actually be working.
When the bell rings, you gather your things and head to the cafeteria for lunch. You spot Kazuha sitting at your usual table and quickly make your way over to her.
"Hey, Kazuha," You say, sliding into the seat across from her. "You won't believe what just happened."
She looks up from her phone, curiosity piqued, "What happened?"
You recount the events of the morning, from Jay walking you to class to the moment with Heeseung. Kazuha listens intently, her eyes widening in surprise.
"I'm shocked Jay actually followed through," She says, shaking her head in disbelief.
You laugh, “Yeah, well, he's doing it for a guitar. But I'm definitely going to get on his nerves with this."
Kazuha chuckles, "Just make sure you don't drive him too crazy, We still need him for the plan."
You nod, feeling a bit more confident, "Don't worry, I won't. But I have to admit, it's kind of fun seeing him so annoyed."
As you both continue to chat and eat lunch, you feel a sense of anticipation building. The plan is in motion, and with a little luck, Heeseung will notice you more and more. For now, though, you're just glad to have Kazuha by your side, sharing in the excitement and uncertainty of it all.
After school, you meet up with Jay, so he can drive you home. As you settle into the passenger seat, Jay starts talking about a party Jake is hosting that night.
"Hey, there's a party at Jake's tonight. Do you want to come?" Jay asks casually, glancing over at you.
Before you can answer, he adds, "Heeseung is gonna be there."
Your heart skips a beat, and you quickly say, "Yes, I'll come."
Jay nods, a small smile playing on his lips, "Great. I'll pick you up at eight."
He drops you off at your house, and you head inside, already thinking about what to wear. Knowing you take a while to get dressed, you decide to start getting ready right away. As you rummage through your closet, you text Jay to ask if Kazuha can come too. A few minutes later, your phone buzzes with his reply.
Jay: Sure, she can come.
You feel a bit more at ease knowing your friend will be there. You call her up and tell her and she says she’ll be there.
After what feels like an eternity of trying on different outfits and experimenting with your makeup, you finally settle on a look that makes you feel confident. Just as you finish, you hear a car horn outside.
You grab your things and head out to find Jay waiting for you. He looks up as you approach, and you notice a flicker of surprise in his eyes.
"Do I look okay?" You ask, suddenly feeling a bit self-conscious.
Jay gives you a once-over and nods, "You look fine," He says, though there's a hint of something more in his tone.
You smile, feeling a bit reassured, and hop into the car. As Jay drives to the party, you can't help but feel a mix of excitement and nervousness. Tonight could be a turning point in your plan, you could only hope.
You and Jay finally make it to the party, and it's packed with people. The music is loud, and the atmosphere is electric. As you step inside, you see Jake making his way over to you. He dabs up Jay and then turns to you with a big smile.
"Glad you guys made it!" Jake shouts over the music.
You smile back, feeling a bit more relaxed. Jay suggests getting some drinks, and you follow him to the kitchen. As you chat and sip on your drinks, you suddenly spot Kazuha across the room. You wave her over and give her a big hug when she reaches you.
"Where's Heeseung?" Kazuha asks, glancing around.
You shrug, genuinely not knowing. Jay chimes in, "He might be in the living room."
"I'll go see," You say, eager to find him.
You make your way through the crowded house, but there's no sign of Heeseung in the living room. Just as you're about to turn back, you bump into someone. You look up and see Heeseung standing right in front of you.
"Oh, hey," He says, looking a bit surprised, "Where's Jay?"
"He's in the kitchen," You reply quickly. Then, thinking on your feet, you add, "I was just trying to get some fresh air.”
Heeseung nods and says, "Follow me."
Though you're unsure, you decide to follow him. You glance back, knowing Jay and Kazuha are waiting for you, but curiosity gets the better of you. Heeseung leads you through the house, and you can't help but wonder what he wants to talk about.
Heeseung leads you through the house, weaving past groups of people until you reach a quiet balcony. He gestures for you to go out first, and you step into the cool night air. Heeseung follows and sits down on one of the chairs, and you take a seat next to him.
He takes a sip of his drink and then looks at you, "So, what made you wanna date Jay?" He asks, his eyes searching yours.
You feel a pang of nervousness but manage to lie smoothly, "Oh, you know, he was always a handsome guy. And because we had a connection with the class we both chose, and it just felt right."
Heeseung hums thoughtfully and takes another sip of his drink, “Have you and him already had sex?" He asks casually.
You choke on your drink, coughing a bit before managing to say, "No, no, we haven’t."
He chuckles softly, "I knew it."
Confused, you look at him and ask, "Why do you say that?"
Heeseung leans back in his chair, a small smile playing on his lips, “Because," He begins, "I can tell when Jay has sex with someone, he gets more clingy to them if you know what I mean. And to you, he stays quite far, and yet almost close. Unless, you’re a virgin and taking it slow?"
Your heart races as you try to process his words. The plan you and Jay concocted to make Heeseung notice you seems to be unraveling right before your eyes. The night air feels colder, and the anticipation of what Heeseung said hangs heavily between you.
But not only were you thinking that, you were also thinking about Heeseung referring you as a virgin. Which, he is not wrong. You are a virgin, and you aren’t really proud to say that in front of him for some reason. You couldn’t help but question wether Heeseung liked virgins. So, you decided to fuck it and ask.
“Do you like virgins?” You questioned, your voice tinged with curiosity. Heeseung averts his gaze to you. His narrow eyes making you nervous, but he just scoffed.
“They’re alright. I guess it could be exciting in bed, teaching them what to do. But I prefer an experienced person. Because they know what they're doing in bed, and that’s a turn on.” He replied. You felt your mouth parting. Heeseung liked experienced people. And you were nowhere near experienced. You haven’t even had your first kiss.
You slowly nodded your head, “That's interesting.” You muttered and sipped your drink.
Heeseung let out a low chuckle, “So are you a virgin?”
You gulped harshly and stared down. You felt the air getting hotter and that’s when you decided to just lie, “No. I already had sex with someone.”
Heeseung whistled and leaned in closer to you, “L/n Y/n already had sex? Wonder who if it’s not Jay.” He joked. You let out a nervous laugh.
Before you could say something else, the glass door slid open revealing Jay. He catches you and Heeseung on the balcony, his eyes narrowing slightly, "I've been looking for you," He says, his gaze shifting between you and Heeseung, “Am I interrupting something?"
Heeseung smirks at you before standing up, "No, not at all," He replies smoothly, "I'll leave you two alone." With that, he walks back inside, leaving you and Jay alone on the balcony.
You remain quiet, the weight of the conversation with Heeseung still fresh in your mind. Jay looks at you with concern, “Are you okay?" He asks gently.
You force a small smile and nod, "Yeah, I'm just tired. I think I want to go home."
Jay nods understandingly, “Okay, let's go."
You both make your way back through the house, saying goodbye to your friends. You stop by Kazuha and tell her, "I'll text you when I get home."
She nods and waves, "Drive safe!"
As you and Jay get into the car, the silence feels heavy. Jay starts driving, and you suddenly blurt out, "Jay, about Heeseung..."
He glances at you briefly before focusing back on the road, "What about him?"
You hesitate, unsure of how to express the confusion and emotions swirling inside you. The plan to make Heeseung notice you has taken an unexpected turn, and you're not sure if you can ask Jay a personal question. You finally took a deep breath and faced Jay.
“Can you take my virginity?”
Jay slams the brakes, causing the car to jolt to a sudden stop. He stares at you in shock, his eyes wide, “What?" He says loudly, making you flinch.
You take another deep breath and repeat, "Can you take my virginity?”
Jay takes a moment to process your words, then tells you, "Wait a second." He pulls over to the side of the road and turns to face you fully, "What's wrong? What did you and Heeseung talk about?"
You bite your lip and explain everything to him—the plan to make Heeseung notice you, the unexpected feelings that surfaced, and the confusion you're feeling now. Jay just stares at you, taking it all in. He sighs deeply and says, "You should wait for the right person."
You shake your head, feeling a surge of determination, "I want it to be with you, Jay."
Jay thinks for a long minute, his expression serious. Finally, he asks, "Are you sure?"
You nod confidently, "Yes."
"When?" He asks, his voice barely above a whisper.
"Today," You reply firmly, "Come inside my house."
Jay takes a deep breath and starts the car again. The drive to your house is filled with a charged silence, both of you processing the gravity of what was just said.
As you pull into your driveway, you feel a mix of nervousness. Jay parks the car and turns to you, his eyes searching yours for any sign of hesitation. Finding none, you both step out of the car, heading to your door.
Jay follows you inside your house, and you both take off your shoes and jackets, placing them neatly by the door. Jay glances around and asks, "Before we do anything, is your mom home?"
You shake your head, "No, she's on a business trip."
Jay nods, seeming to relax a bit. "Are you thirsty?" You ask, trying to break the tension.
He shakes his head, "No, I'm good."
You lead him up to your room, and he takes a moment to examine it, looking at the posters on the walls and the books on your shelves. You sit on your bed, feeling the weight of the moment.
Jay turns to you and asks, "Have you changed your mind at all?"
You look him straight in the eyes and say firmly, "No."
Jay nods, taking a deep breath. The room is filled with a charged silence, the air thick with anticipation. He moves closer, sitting beside you on the bed, his expression serious and thoughtful.
“You said no kissing, right?” He asks. You slowly nodded your head, but his lips did look kissable right now.
“Then this is gonna be somewhat awkward then.” He admits. You giggle and wrap your arms around his neck.
“J-Just start somewhere, please.” You whisper. Jay cursed and wrapped his hands firmly on your waist. You closed your eyes, waiting for him to do something.
You gasped when you suddenly felt his soft lips on your neck. It started off slow, his lips moving along your neck, giving it pecks here and there. You leaned your head more back to grant him access.
You felt his lips form a grin before he opened his mouth and gave you a gentle bite on your neck, giving it a soft suck. You let out breathy sighs feeling him getting a bit harsher and pushed you back. His lips never leave your neck.
He sucked all around your neck and jaw. You wrapped your legs around his waist and bucked. He let out a growl and pushed your hips back making you whine. He faced you and lowered his eyes to your lips that were parted. God, did he want to make them plump and red.
Instead of doing it, he went to your chest and kissed it. He slowly traced your back before unzipping the back of your dress. You felt nervous and urgent, lifting yourself up a bit to let your dress come off. You took the straps off revealing your bra and underwear.
You shyly bit your finger as Jay stared. You couldn’t help but feel his eyes wandering around your whole body like hands. He suddenly lifted a hand to fondle with your breast making you let out a gasp and eyes closed shut. His other hand rubbing your cloth core.
You moaned and squirmed against his hold, trying to get away, but he held you down.
“Just relax pretty.” He whispered in your ear. You nodded your head although your breathing was saying otherwise. Jay felt your wet pussy clenching around nothing making him chuckle. You really were urgent.
He unclasped your bra revealing your perky breasts. He leaned down and flicked his tongue against one of your breasts causing you to grip his soft jet black hair, “ah- jay!” You cried out.
The flicking soon turned into sucking harshly. You snaked, not knowing what to do yourself. He gave attention to the other one by fondling it.
Your breathing was ragged and breathless. Your eyes were teary, and he didn’t even put his dick in yet. You guessed you now knew what Heeseung meant by experienced people who are better in bed.
Jay lets go of your breast and leans over your cloth pussy. He planted soft kisses and put your legs over his shoulders, pulling you softly against his body. He moved your panties to the side revealing your slick pussy. You tried to close your legs in embarrassment, but he forced them back open.
“Don’t be shy now. You wanted this, remember?” He teased. You let out a quiet whine. It all went too fast when you suddenly felt a hot wet sensation licking your pussy slow. Your eyes rolled back, feeling Jay's tongue going deep in your pussy and sucking on your bud. Your moans could no longer be held back, letting them out freely for the neighbors to hear.
“J-Jay ah- wait!” You cried out feeling your orgasm coming faster than you anticipated. Jay didn’t stop, feeling your pussy tighten and open and before he knew it too, his tongue was getting covered by your juices. You shook lightly and jerked when he flicked his tongue on your bud teasingly.
He latched his mouth off your pussy and licked his lips while staring at you breathing deeply. Jay loved the view, your hair messy, eyes teary, mouth agape with saliva trailing down, mascara streaks on your cheeks. He wanted to ruin you more.
As he took off his shirt, you noticed his body was pretty toned. You’d have to ask him later if he workout often. He took off his pants with his boxers finally revealing his dick. You gasp at his size. Is that even gonna fit? You gulped nervously.
Jay noticed your face and smiled, “It’s okay, I’ll go slow. For now.” He said. You nodded and slowly put your hand on your pussy, opening your folds to let Jay see your hole.
Jay's eyes widened at your sudden confidence for a second before his eyes turned dark, “Someone getting confident? I should lower that.” He mumbled. Before you could ask what he meant, he leaned over you and positioned his dick at your hole and slowly pushed in.
You felt the air get knocked out your lungs and immediately wrapped your arms around his neck. You squeezed around him tightly making him hiss, “Shit, relax will you?” He complained.
“I-It’s not my fault you suddenly did that!” You snapped, still feeling pain. Slowly, you tried to relax your breathing and soon enough, he was fully in.
You let out a ragged breath feeling him in you. He felt so big and you felt so full. Jay watched your face, making sure he wasn’t hurting you in any way. He knows he’s big.
“M-Move.” You panted. Jay nodded even though you probably didn’t see him and slowly he moved. He kept a slow steady pace, watching your every move and facials. He saw your eyebrows furrow and you lolled your head back.
That’s when Jay started going at a faster pace and soon you both were moaning and panting against each other. Both of your bodies are sweaty and sticking together. The sound of skin slapping, the bed creaking, and your unison moans were heard all over your room.
Jay gripped your waist and lifted his upper body up, leaving you to clench your sheets as he thrusted up into you. You felt your eyes roll back feeling his mushroom tip hit against just the right spots.
Jay groaned, feeling you squeezing around him. He felt his orgasm coming quicker than usual. Probably considering he hasn’t had sex in a while or your pussy just felt too good. He thinks it’s the second one.
You felt your orgasm coming and whimpered, “I-I think I’m c-cumming- hah!” You moaned and shut your eyes. Jay let out a breathy laugh and slowed down his thrusting, going harder and deeper. And that’s when your orgasm came.
You let out a silent moan feeling him still thrusting into you hard. You squirmed harshly and overstimulated before he took out his dick and stroked it on your stomach, his cum spurting out on you.
You both panted at the intense orgasm before Jay got off your bed and went to your bathroom. He came back with a washcloth and slowly cleaned you up. Your breathing calmed feeling him lay beside you and rubbing your back softly.
“I can’t believe we had sex.” You said. Jay snorted and leaned on his hand.
“You’re just now thinking that? I can’t believe you wanted me to be your first.” He admitted. You stared at him before giggling. You both soon started laughing together.
You suddenly felt your eyes get droopy and yawned. Jay noticed and smiled, “You can sleep.”
You pouted, “Are you leaving?”
He shook his head, “I can stay a while longer if you want me too.” You nodded and cuddled against his warm body. He held your waist, seeing your eyes finally closing and hearing soft snores leave your mouth.
He slowly leaned in, but stopped. He has to stick with the plan. He furrowed his eyebrows and slowly got off your bed, putting your blanket over your naked body. He got dressed and gave you one last look before softly shutting your door.
The next morning, you wake up with a start, realizing you're late for school. You quickly grab your phone and call Jay. His groggy voice answers, confirming he also overslept.
"Hey, you awake?" You ask, still feeling the remnants of sleep.
“Yeah, just woke up," Jay replies, his voice thick with sleep. You giggled hearing his tired voice. You heard a slight hum from him.
“We’re late Jay.” You said, not sure if he knows. It takes a few seconds before he finally understand and curses, saying he’ll pick you up soon.
You quickly get dressed in your uniform, noticing a slight soreness from the previous day. You get a text from Jay and you rush outside to find Jay already waiting in his car. You hop in, and he gives you a sympathetic look.
"Rough morning, huh?" He says with a small smile.
"Yeah, you could say that," You reply, buckling your seatbelt.
The drive to school is quick, both of you silently cursing your luck for waking up late. Jay pulls into the school parking lot and parks the car, "I'll see you later," He says, giving you a reassuring nod as you head to your class.
You walk into your classroom, feeling the eyes of your classmates on you. Your teacher looks up from her desk and says, "You're late."
You feel a wave of embarrassment wash over you as you mumble an apology and quickly take your seat. You start to work, trying to focus on the lesson and ignore the feeling of everyone's eyes on you.
Class went by fast as you quickly pack your stuff and heading out the hallway only to bump into someone, “Agh! Sorry! I wasn’t looking-“ Your eyes widened seeing Heeseung.
He gave you a knowing grin, “Someone looks like they didn’t get good sleep last night.”
You blushed and shook your head, “I just stayed up late studying! T-That’s all!” You ranted. Heeseung chuckled and leaned near your space, feeling his hot breath on you.
“It’s okay to be honest. I know what you did.” He said before leaning back, walking past you. You stared into nowhere where he was just at, your eyes wide. Does he really know? Did Jay tell him?
As you looked around you finally caught a glimpse of Jay walking towards you, “Hey, sorry for the wait. Jake was nagging-“
“Did you tell Heeseung what we did?” You ask, feeling nervous. Jay eyebrows furrowed.
“Uh, no? Why?” He replied. You shook your head, ignoring his question. You say never mind as you both head to your next class. You were now hoping Heeseung was just joking.
Class went by smoothly with Jay by your side. Both of you partners for an upcoming project. When it's finally lunch, you meet Kazuha in the cafeteria. She takes one look at you and asks, "Are you okay? You look like you're constipated."
You glare at her, feeling a mix of irritation and embarrassment, “Gee, thanks for the concern," You reply sarcastically. You then let out a sigh, “Don’t freak out, but I had sex with Jay last night.”
Kazuha raises an eyebrow for a few seconds before yelling, “You had sex with who?” She shouts.
It catches you completely off guard. You can't help but let out a yell, drawing the attention of nearby students hearing you guys yell, “Shhh! Be quiet!" You hiss, trying to calm the situation.
"Why?" Kazuha asks, genuinely curious.
You lean in closer and whisper, "It's because of Heeseung."
Kazuha's eyes widen in surprise. "Wait, was it good?" She asks, a smirk forming on her lips.
You nod, a small smile playing on your face, “Yeah, it was really good."
Kazuha chuckles, shaking her head. "As expected of Jay," She says, and you both burst into laughter.
As lunch comes to an end, Kazuha turns to you and asks, "Hey, do you want to hang out at my house after school?"
You smile and nod. "Yeah, that sounds great."
After school, you find Jay near the parking lot and tell him, "Hey, I'm gonna ride with Kazuha today."
Jay nods, looking relieved. "Good, I have basketball practice and didn't want you waiting around for me."
You smile and wave, "Bye, Jay. See you later!"
You head over to Kazuha, who is waiting by her car, "Ready to go?" She asks with a grin.
"Yeah, let's go," You reply, hopping into her car.
As you drive to Kazuha's house, she mentions, "There's gonna be a basketball game soon. Are you gonna go?"
You hesitate for a moment before saying, "Maybe." In truth, you know you're definitely going because Heeseung is playing. But as your mind wanders, you also think about Jay and quickly shake off the thought.
Once you arrive at Kazuha's house, you both decide to make cookies. The kitchen fills with the sweet aroma of baking as you mix ingredients and laugh about the day's events. After the cookies are in the oven, you settle down in the living room to watch some romance movies.
You both get completely absorbed in the films, crying at the sad parts and cheering at the happy endings. The evening flies by in a mix of emotions and laughter.
By the time the cookies are ready, you both enjoy the warm, gooey treats while discussing the characters and plot twists. It's a perfect way to unwind and forget about the day's drama, even if just for a little while.
As you and Kazuha were gossiping, Kazuha asks you a question that catches you off guard, “So, you and Jay huh? You like him?” She asks. You stare at her confused.
“What are you talking about? I don’t like him.” You say, although for some reason you felt your heart race. Kazuha grins and playfully pushes you.
“Then why out of all people would you want him to take your virginity?” She adds. You thought for a moment.
“Because, I don’t know. I just felt comfortable with him.” You admitted. Kazuha stares at you for a moment before nodding.
“You like Heeseung, not Jay.” She said. And for some reason, that statement felt weird to you.
Before you could speak, you suddenly felt your phone vibrate and curiously looked at the caller ID. It was Jay. You answered while laughing at what Kazuha said about his photo you saved of him.
“Hey, what’s up?” You ask while taking a bite out of your cookie.
“I got done with practice. Was just wondering if you need a ride back home.” He admitted. You let out a hum and looked over at Kazuha before answering.
“Yeah that’s fine.” You beamed.
“Alright, send me the address and I’ll be on my way.” He spoke. You said okay and hung up.
Jay arrives at Kazuha's house and you give Kazuha a big hug and say, "Thanks for today, it was so much fun! See you later!"
"Anytime! Bye!" Kazuha waves as you head to Jay's car.
You slide into the passenger seat and start chatting about your day, "Kazuha and I made cookies and watched some romance movies. We cried so much at the endings!"
Jay listens attentively, a small smile playing on his lips. Suddenly, he reaches over and swipes something off your lips with his thumb, “You had a bit of chocolate there," He says, licking his fingers, "Next time, make some for me too."
You blush, feeling your cheeks heat up, “Okay, I will," You mumble, a shy smile forming on your face.
The rest of the ride is filled with comfortable silence, and soon enough, you arrive at your house. You turn to Jay and say, "Thanks for the ride. See you tomorrow!"
“Anytime," Jay replies with a wink, "Goodnight."
You giggled and stepped out of the car, heading inside, your heart fluttering from the unexpected moment. You gripped your shirt. What is wrong with you?
Once you came inside, you decided to take a shower to relax. After finishing your shower, you wrap yourself in a cozy towel and head to your room. Just as you're about to get dressed, your phone rings. It's Jay calling. You quickly answer, "Hey, Jay. What's up?"
"Hey, are you going to the basketball game tomorrow?" He asks, sounding eager.
“Yeah, I am," You reply, smiling to yourself.
"Great! Maybe we can hang out after?" He suggests. You giggle how happy he sounded.
"Sure, sounds fun," You say, feeling a flutter in your stomach at his idea. As the conversation continues, you both start chatting about random things, laughing as he talks about Jake and Sunghoon play fighting at practice.
Suddenly, a memory of what happened in your room with Jay flashes in your mind, and you can't help but blush. Your words start to stumble, and you stutter, "Um, uh, yeah... funny, um..."
Jay's tone shifts to concern, “Hey, what's wrong?"
"N-nothing," You quickly reply, trying to shake off the embarrassment.
There's a brief silence on the other end before Jay says, "Is this about your bedroom?"
His words shock you, how the hell did he know? You then responded a little too fast, "No!"
Jay chuckles softly, "You sure? You sound pretty flustered."
You take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself, "I'm fine, really.”
Silence was left on the other side, you nervously gulped, “Jay?”
No answer. You felt nervousness creep on you. Shit, what if he found it weird that you were thinking dirty? As you were about to say something, Jay cut you to it.
“Do you finger yourself?” He suddenly asked. You felt your breathing stop.
“W-What?” You ask. Jay let out a low breath. You could tell he was holding himself back. You weren’t sure from what though.
“I said, do you finger yourself? When you’re alone at home.” He asks again, but adding on. You felt your cheeks heat up and twirled your hair nervously. You wouldn’t say you do, but you thought of it more than once.
“N-Not really? I-I mean I think about it, but I don’t do it.” You admit. You heard a chuckle in the other line.
“Why not do it now that I’m on call with you?” He suddenly said, you blinked. He wants you to finger yourself, while he’s on call with you?
“How does that work?” You mumbled. Jay hummed and you heard rustling on the other line, as if he was getting comfy.
“Simple. You just finger yourself while I’m on call with you. Either you just do it alone, or I can guide you through while saying stuff to you. I might jerk off though.” He states. You thought for a moment, how is that simple? You’re gonna finger yourself on call with him? And he’s gonna jerk off? It’s already hard enough to talk through calls.
Jay noticed your quietness, “You don’t have too. It was just something to occupy ourselves-“
“Okay. I’ll do it.” You shyly said. Jay made a noise, as if he was surprised you actually said okay before he chuckled.
Jay's voice comes through the phone, "Are you on your bed right now?"
You glance around and realize you're still standing by your dresser, “Uh, no, not yet," You admit, feeling a bit flustered.
"Go to it," He instructs, his voice gentle but firm.
You walk over to your bed and sit down, the soft mattress sinking slightly under your weight, “Okay, I'm on my bed now."
"Good," Jay says, a hint of satisfaction in his tone, "Now, I want you to lie down and relax."
You feel a wave of nervousness wash over you but comply, lying down and staring at the ceiling, "Alright, I'm lying down."
"Perfect," He continues, “Now, I want you to close your eyes and just listen to my voice. Let me do all the talking, okay?"
You nod, even though he can't see you, "Okay," You say softly, feeling a mix of curiosity and anticipation.
“I want you to take deep breaths, remember how I felt against you that night.” He spoke softly. You let out a anxious sigh and remembered that night. How his tongue felt against you. His hands move so smoothly against your skin. His lips were plump and soft when he was kissing and sucking your neck.
Slowly, you lower your hand to your pussy and softly rub your bud. You let out a gasp and let out a quiet moan. You heard a sigh coming from Jay and heard ruffling against the line.
“W-What are you doing?” You breathed out, still rubbing your bud.
“Mind if I jerk off?” He casually said. You bit your lip and nodded before you replied yes. You cursed at yourself for being distracted. You heard the pants of Jays unzip fast and heard a soft hiss.
“What do I do now?” You muttered.
“Now imagine me between your legs, use your fingers and rub your folds. Then add a finger in. You can do that, yeah?” He breathed out. You let out a high moan listening to what he’s saying.
You rubbed your folds at a natural pace, feeling your juices squelching. You're sure Jay can hear because you heard a low groan from him and hearing skin slapping of his balls and his hand.
You imagined him laying on his bed, one phone in his hand while the other is wrapped around his hard dick. His body starts to sweat as his breathing gets uneven.
You shoved a finger in your hole and arched your back, letting out a pained moan. You forgot how tight you were. You slowly relaxed your breathing, remembering Jay’s voice when he told you too. Soon you started feeling pleasure and started fingering faster.
You forgot Jay was on the other line until you heard him letting out moans himself and hearing squelchy noises. You bit your lip and panted feeling an orgasm coming.
“J-Jay, want you in me.” You whispered. You added a second finger and cried out.
“F-Fuck! Yeah, want me in you? Want my dick to ruin your tight pussy?” He snapped. You nodded your head frantically even though he couldn't see you and came right on your fingers. You then heard Jay cursing one last time before hearing him breathe in and out unevenly.
After a few seconds you let out a giggle, "You were really good at this," you murmur, feeling a bit shy.
"Really? It’s my first time having phone sex," Jay replies, his voice filled with warmth and lust. Your eyes widened a little. You were his first phone sex? You felt a bit of pride knowing you were his first before chuckling.
“For some reason that makes me happy to hear.” You admit. You heard Jay chuckling and heard a yawn.
“If you’re tired, go to sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow.” You mumbled. Jay hummed before saying bye and hanging up after you said bye. You laid in bed staring at the ceiling. You can’t believe you had phone sex with him.
The next morning, you were already dressed for school. You twirled a little to make sure you look good. With a small smile, you grab your backpack and head out the door, making your way to Jay's car.
Jay is leaning against his car, waiting for you with a playful grin on his face, "Morning, sleepyhead. How'd you sleep after our little chat last night?" He teases.
You feel your cheeks heat up as you remember the night before, “Shut up, Jay," You mutter, trying to hide your embarrassment.
He just laughs, clearly enjoying your reaction, "Come on, let's get to school."
The drive is filled with light banter, and soon enough, you pull into the school parking lot. As you step out of the car, you suddenly spot Heeseung standing near the entrance, looking around as if he's waiting for someone.
You exchange a confused glance with Jay, who just shrugs, "What's Heeseung doing here?" You wonder aloud.
Before Jay can respond, Heeseung spots you guys and walks over to you guys, "Hey, I just got here and thought I'd walk to first period with you," He says, looking directly at you.
You feel your heart skip a beat and your face flushes, "O-Okay," You stammer, before Jay has a chance to say anything.
Jay raises an eyebrow but doesn't comment, simply giving you a knowing look. The three of you start walking together, and you can't help but feel a mix of excitement and nervousness.
As you walk, you catch Jay's amused expression out of the corner of your eye, but he remains silent, letting you enjoy the moment with Heeseung. What you don’t know though, is the swirling jealousy he feels too.
The school day flew by in a blur. Classes with Jay were the usual mix of teasing and casual conversation, nothing out of the ordinary. Lunchtime with Kazuha was also routine, filled with chatter about assignments and weekend plans. Before you knew it, the end of the school day approached, and you and Kazuha started getting ready for the basketball game.
As you enter the gym, the familiar sounds of sneakers squeaking on the floor and basketballs bouncing fill the air. You spot Jay practicing with his team, his focus intense. When he notices you, he breaks into a wide smile, and you can't help but smile back.
But then, out of the corner of your eye, you see Heeseung staring at you. His gaze is intense, almost as if he's trying to figure something out. The moment your eyes meet, he quickly looks away, leaving you feeling puzzled and a little flustered.
"Hey, the game's about to start," Kazuha's voice snaps you out of your thoughts. You turn to her, nodding as you push the confusing encounter with Heeseung to the back of your mind. Together, you find your seats and settle in, ready to cheer for the team.
The game was in full swing, and it was hard to tell which team would come out on top. You and Kazuha were on the edge of your seats, cheering enthusiastically along with the other spectators. Every basket, every pass, and every block were followed by shouts and applause from the crowd.
The score was tied, and the tension in the air was palpable. Jay was on the court, focused and determined. Every time he got the ball, the gym filled with excitement. The crowd roared, and you and Kazuha were no exception, shouting his name and clapping vigorously.
Finally, in the last few seconds of the game, Jay received the ball and, with an impressive maneuver, scored the final point. The sound of the whistle marked the end of the game, and the gym erupted in cheers. Your team had won.
You jumped out of your seat along with everyone else, clapping and shouting with joy. Jay, drenched in sweat but with a triumphant smile, looked over to where you were. He raised a finger, signaling number one, and you smiled back at him, feeling incredibly proud.
After the game, the gym began to empty out. Some people left, while others stayed behind to talk to the teammates. You noticed Jake and his girlfriend chatting near the bleachers. As you were watching them, someone suddenly jumped from behind you, making you jump in surprise. You thought it was Jay, but when you turned around, you saw it was Heeseung.
"How did I do?" Heeseung asked with a playful smile.
Out of kindness and sincerely, you responded, "You did amazing." Your heart leaped when he smiled at you, his eyes lighting up with genuine appreciation.
"Jay's in the locker room changing," Heeseung informed you.
“Okay," you replied, feeling a mix of emotions.
Heeseung seemed like he was about to ask you something, but before he could, Jay appeared, interrupting the moment.
“Hey, ready to go?” He asked. Heeseung closed his mouth and offered a grin to Jay. You nodded your head, but also confused about what Heeseung was gonna say.
“What were you gonna say Heeseung?” You said. Heeseung stared at you but then shook his head.
“Nothing. Have fun you two.” He teased before turning away and leaving to his other teammates.
You look over at Jay and shrugged. You both walked out while saying bye to the team. As you guys walked to his car, you couldn’t help but feel happy that they won.
“You guys did amazing! I mean especially with you! You did amazing out there Jay.” You smiled. Jay stared at you for a second before facing you. Your smile faltered a bit. Is he okay? You watched as he slowly started leaning in. You didn’t know what to do, but slowly, you closed your eyes.
And yet, nothing came. You opened your eyes to see that Jay was backed up and just stared at the ground, “I’ll drop you off home.” He spoke before going towards his car. You watched frozen. Were you actually gonna let him kiss you?
The car ride was filled with an awkward silence, both of you thinking about the incident where he almost kissed you. The tension was palpable, and neither of you knew how to break it.
When you finally reached your house, you turned to him and said, "I'll see you tomorrow."
"Yeah," He replied, a hint of uncertainty in his voice.
"Congrats on the win, one more time," You added before getting out of the car.
"Thanks," Jay said, giving you a small smile.
You shut the door behind you and let out a sigh you didn’t know you were holding in. You made your way to your room, your mind racing. As you lay on your bed, you couldn't help but think about your feelings for Jay.
Maybe it was because you guys had spent so much time together recently, or maybe it was sex. Whatever it was, it had you feeling confused and unsure about what to do next. It didn’t matter though. You liked Heeseung and only Heeseung. Jay is just there to help.
It was getting dark when you were woken up by the sound of your phone ringing. Groggily, you reached over and answered it.
"Hello?" You mumbled, still half-asleep.
"Hey, were you sleeping?" Jay's familiar voice came through the line.
"Yeah, I was," You replied, sitting up and rubbing your eyes.
"Well, I was wondering if you wanted to go to a party tonight. Since we won and all," Jay said, sounding a bit excited. "This time, Heeseung is hosting it."
You thought about it for a moment, considering the invitation. The idea of seeing Heeseung again made your heart race a little, but you also felt a bit nervous about the whole thing. After a brief hesitation, you decided to go for it.
"Sure, why not," You said, trying to sound more awake and enthusiastic.
"Okay, I'll pick you up soon," Jay responded, and you could hear the smile in his voice.
You hung up the phone and quickly got out of bed, heading to your closet to find something to wear. As you got dressed, you couldn't help but think about your feelings with everything. Maybe the party won’t hurt.
As you finished getting dressed you got a text from Jay saying he was here. You grabbed your jacket and headed to his car. The drive was filled with chatting about random things.
Once you and Jay arrived at the party, the atmosphere was buzzing with energy. As you walked inside, you saw people dancing to the music. You turned to Jay and asked, "Do you want to dance for fun?"
"Sure," Jay replied with a smile.
Both of you joined the crowd and started moving to the beat of the music. You felt carefree and happy, enjoying the moment with Jay. Jay grabbed your waist and moved with you. You felt your heart beating faster and stared at him before smiling.
After a while, Jay leaned in and said, "I'm going to get some drinks. Do you want anything?"
"Okay, thanks," You responded, and Jay walked away toward the drinks table.
You continued dancing, letting the music take over. Suddenly, you felt someone behind you. Turning around, you saw Heeseung, which made you jump a little.
"You scared me!" You exclaimed, placing a hand on your chest.
"Sorry," Heeseung said with a grin, "Do you want to go somewhere so we can talk?"
You glanced around, looking for Jay, and told Heeseung, "I'm waiting for Jay."
"Oh, you're with Jay? I thought you guys broke up or something cause he’s with another girl," Heeseung said, pointing towards the drinks table.
Your eyebrows furrowed before you look over. There, Jay was standing with a cup in his hand, but another girl was talking to him. She laughed and touched up his arm and he let her. He seemed to be laughing too. For some reason, you felt a pang of hurt in your chest upon hearing that. Still, you nodded and said, "Okay, let's go."
Heeseung led you to a room upstairs. As you walked in, you looked around, examining the space. It was a cozy and well-decorated room.
"This is my room," Heeseung said, watching you, "I never let people in here. You're the first."
You felt surprised and a bit special hearing that, wondering what Heeseung wanted to tell you in private. So, you sat next to him.
You took a deep breath and turned to Heeseung, feeling a mix of curiosity and nervousness. "So, what did you want to talk about?" You asked, trying to keep your voice steady.
Heeseung looked at you intently, his expression serious, "I wanted to ask you something," He began, "Are you and Jay really dating? Because it looks real, but not real enough to me."
You felt your heart race at his question. You were at a loss for words, trying to find a way to cover up the fake dating situation, "Uh, yeah, we are," you stammered, but Heeseung's piercing gaze told you he wasn't convinced.
"I can tell it's fake," He said softly, stepping closer to you. You stare down. You then felt a hand come up to your cheek, "If your relationship is not real, is it okay if I do this?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
Before you could respond, he leaned in and kissed you. You could taste the faint hint of alcohol on his lips, and your mind went blank, not knowing how to react.
Just then, the door swung open, and you saw Jay standing there, his eyes wide with surprise, "Jay, I can explain," You blurted out, panic rising in your chest.
Jay held up a hand, cutting you off, "It's fine," He said, a strange look in his eyes, "You finally got him." With that, he turned and walked away, leaving you and Heeseung alone.
Heeseung looked confused, trying to process what Jay meant. But you couldn't stay any longer. You had to go after Jay, "I need to go," you said to Heeseung, rushing out of the room to find Jay and explain everything.
You rushed out of the room, your heart pounding as you pushed past people at the party. The music and chatter seemed like a distant hum as you focused solely on finding Jay. You finally spotted him near the exit, and you quickened your pace, calling out his name, “Jay, wait!"
He stopped and turned around, his expression unreadable. You caught up to him, breathless, "I didn't know what to do," You said, your voice trembling, “I didn't expect Heeseung to kiss me."
Jay looked at you, his eyes hardening, "Why are you so scared? Our relationship didn't mean anything," He said flatly.
His words stung, and you felt a pang of hurt. "Be honest with me, Jay," You demanded, your voice breaking, “Do you like me?"
There was a heavy silence as he looked at you, his face devoid of emotion. After what felt like an eternity, he finally spoke, "I never did."
You stood there, stunned, as he turned and walked towards his car. You watched him drive away, feeling a lump form in your throat. For some odd reason, you felt tears welling up in your eyes, and you stood there, heartbroken and alone.
You wiped your teary eyes, trying to compose yourself before heading back inside. The party was still in full swing, but everything felt different now. You spotted Heeseung across the room and made your way over to him, your heart heavy with mixed emotions.
Heeseung noticed you immediately, concern etched on his face, "Hey, are you okay?" he asked softly.
You ignored his question, your mind racing, "Heeseung, do you like me?" You asked, your voice barely above a whisper.
Heeseung looked at you, his eyes sincere, "I do," He said, "I really like you. And I want to make it official, if that's okay with you."
A small smile tugged at your lips as you nodded, "Yes, Heeseung. I'd like that."
Heeseung's face lit up with relief and happiness. He pulled you into a warm hug, and before you knew it, his lips were on yours. But as he kissed you, something felt off. The kiss was gentle and sweet, but it didn't stir the emotions you expected. There was a hollowness, a sense that something was missing.
You pulled away slightly, looking into Heeseung's eyes. He smiled at you, completely unaware of the turmoil inside you. You forced a smile back, trying to push away the lingering doubts. For now, you were with Heeseung, and that was what mattered.
The next morning, you woke up to the sound of your phone ringing. Half asleep, you glanced at the screen and, for a moment, thought it was Jay. But when you saw Heeseung's name, you remembered giving him your number the night before.
"Hello," You answered, trying to sound awake.
"Good morning," Heeseung replied cheerfully, "Can I pick you up? I'd like to take you to school."
"Sure," You said, sending him your address. You got out of bed and started getting ready, but something didn't feel right.
As you brushed your hair and picked out your clothes, you couldn't stop thinking about how it would feel if it were Jay calling you. The idea of hearing his voice on the other line filled you with a mix of nostalgia and sadness.
Finally, you were ready and went downstairs to wait for Heeseung. As you waited, you couldn't help but feel that something was missing. The excitement and spark you felt with Jay weren't there. But you tried to push those thoughts aside and focus on the present.
When Heeseung arrived, he greeted you with a big smile and a warm hug. You got into his car, trying to leave your doubts behind and enjoy the moment. But deep down, you couldn't ignore the feeling that something just didn't quite fit.
Heeseung drove you to school, the morning sun casting a warm glow over the streets. As you pulled into the parking lot, you noticed students glancing your way. Whispers and curious looks followed you both as you walked through the halls. It seemed like everyone had heard about you and Jay, and now seeing you with Heeseung was stirring up even more gossip.
You tried to ignore the stares and focused on Heeseung, who was chatting with you about the upcoming day. His presence was comforting, but the curious eyes around you made it hard to relax. As you reached your classroom, Heeseung turned to you with a smile.
"I'll see you later," He said, giving you a quick wave before heading off to his own class.
"Bye," You replied, watching him go. You took a deep breath and stepped into the classroom, trying to shake off the feeling of being watched.
The morning passed by in a blur of classes and assignments. What surprised you is that you didn’t see Jay in your second period. You just assumed he didn’t wanna see you.
When lunchtime finally arrived, you were gathering your things when Heeseung appeared at your classroom door.
“Hey, do you want to eat lunch with me, Jay, Jake, and Sunghoon?" He asked casually.
At the mention of Jay's name, you froze for a moment. Your mind raced, but you forced a smile and nodded, "Sure, that sounds great."
You shoot Kazuha a text before following Heeseung to the cafeteria, your heart pounding a little faster with each step. When you reached the table, you noticed Jay wasn't there. Jake and Sunghoon greeted you both with smiles, but you couldn't help but wonder where Jay was.
"Where's Jay?" Heeseung asked, looking around.
Sunghoon shrugged, "I called him, but he said he didn't want to come to school today."
Heeseung seemed to brush it off, but you couldn't shake the feeling that something was off. As you sat down and joined the conversation, your thoughts kept drifting back to Jay. Why hadn't he come to school? The question lingered in your mind, even as you tried to focus on the friends around you.
After school, you approached Heeseung and told him you were going shopping with Kazuha and that she would give you a ride. Heeseung nodded and smiled at you.
"Okay, I’ll call you later," He said, waving goodbye.
You walked over to Kazuha, who was waiting for you in her car. Seeing you, she frowned with concern.
"Are you okay? You seem a bit down lately, even though you got Heeseung in the end," Kazuha commented as you got into the car.
"Yeah, I'm fine," You replied, trying to sound convincing.
The drive to the mall was quiet, with Kazuha chatting about the latest news while you nodded distractedly. When you arrived, Kazuha followed you as you walked towards a guitar shop.
"What are we doing here?" She asked, visibly confused.
Without responding, you headed straight to the guitar section and picked out an expensive guitar that you knew Jay had always wanted. Kazuha looked at you with wide eyes as you paid for it.
"Why did you buy that?" She asked, still in shock.
"I promised Jay I'd give him the guitar he always wanted," You explained, remembering the promise you had made.
Kazuha nodded slowly, recalling, "You're a good person," She said softly.
But inside, you couldn't help but feel differently. As you both left the store, you felt the guitar in your hands, and a weight in your heart.
For the past few days, you had been spending a lot of time with Heeseung. Everything seemed perfect, but you couldn't help but notice how distant Jay had become.
He barely acknowledged you in class, and it felt like he was avoiding both you and Heeseung. The once warm and friendly interactions had turned cold and distant, leaving you feeling uneasy.
One morning, as you finished your first period, Heeseung approached you with a smile, "Hey, did you know it's Jay's birthday today?" He asked casually.
You nodded, feeling a pang of sadness, "Yeah, I know," You replied.
"Well, he's having a small get-together after school, and he said you should come too," Heeseung continued, watching your reaction.
You were taken aback, "He said that?" You asked, surprised. Given how Jay had been ignoring you lately, you found it hard to believe he would want you at his birthday celebration.
"Yeah, he did. He said it's fine," Heeseung reassured you, sensing your hesitation.
You were still skeptical but decided to trust Heeseung, "Okay, I'll come," You agreed, hoping that maybe this could be a chance to mend things with Jay.
The school day passed slowly, with Jay continuing to ignore you in class. The tension was palpable, and you couldn't shake the feeling that something was off. When the final bell rang, you met up with Heeseung, who seemed excited about the party.
As you and Heeseung drove to Jay's house together, you couldn't help but feel a mix of emotions. There was a part of you that was nervous about seeing Jay, but another part that hoped this could be a turning point. When you arrived, you were greeted by a few of Jay's close friends, but Jay himself was nowhere to be seen.
Heeseung led you inside, and after a few minutes, Jay finally appeared. He looked surprised to see you but didn't say anything. Instead, he just gave you a small nod before turning his attention to Heeseung.
The party went on, but you couldn't shake the feeling of being out of place. Jay's distant behavior was confusing, and you wondered if coming here was a mistake.
However, as the night progressed, you noticed Jay stealing glances at you, almost as if he was trying to figure out what to say.
Finally, as the party was winding down, you decided it was time to give Jay his gift. Nervously, you approached him and handed him the case, "Happy birthday, Jay," You said softly.
Jay's eyes widened in surprise as he opened the case and saw the guitar, "You actually got this for me?" He asked, clearly stunned.
You nodded, "Yeah, I did. It's the least I could do after you helped me get Heeseung."
Jay looked at you, his expression softening, "I can't take this," He said, shaking his head.
"Please, take it. You deserve it," You insisted.
Jay finally accepted the guitar, his eyes filled with gratitude, "Thank you," He said sincerely.
You just smiled and went back to Heeseung, feeling a mix of emotions. Soon, the party ended, and as you and Heeseung were leaving, Jay called out, "Take care."
Heeseung gave Jay a hug, and Jay just gave you a smile. You smiled back, but deep down, you missed the warmth of the old Jay, the one who used to be close to you.
"Of course," You replied, trying to sound cheerful, "Happy birthday, Jay."
He gave you a small smile, and for a moment, it felt like things might be okay. But the distance between you was still there, and you couldn't help but think you had caused it in the first place.
The evening sky was painted with hues of orange and pink as Heeseung pulled up in front of your house. The car ride had been filled with comfortable silence, the kind that spoke volumes without needing words. As he turned off the engine, you hesitated for a moment before speaking.
"Do you want to come inside for a bit?" You asked, your voice barely above a whisper.
Heeseung looked at you, a small smile playing on his lips, “Sure, why not?"
You both got out of the car and walked to the front door. Once inside, you offered him a drink, and he accepted. The two of you settled on the couch, drinks in hand, and started talking about everything and nothing. As the conversation flowed, you couldn't help but bring up the question that had been nagging at you for a while.
"Heeseung, can I ask you something?" You began, your eyes searching his.
"Of course," He replied, leaning in slightly, his expression attentive.
“Why did it take you so long to talk to me?" You asked, your voice tinged with curiosity and a hint of sadness.
Heeseung looked taken aback for a moment, “What do you mean?"
"You know, before I started dating Jay," you clarified, “When we played spin the bottle.”
Heeseung shrugged bashfully, “To be honest, I’m not really sure. I was drunk and I was just saying whatever the hell. But I'm glad he didn’t kiss you.”
You giggled until you thought of another one, “It was cute though when you gave me that note."
Heeseung's face went from shy to confused, "What note?"
You got up and went to your room, returning with a small piece of paper, "This one," You said, handing it to him, "You gave it to me a few months ago."
Heeseung unfolded the note and read it, his brow furrowing, "I never gave this to you," He said, looking genuinely puzzled.
You frowned, "But a boy gave it to me and said it was from you."
Heeseung shook his head slowly, "I never wrote this."
A thought suddenly struck you, and you grabbed the note from Heeseung, examining it closely, "Wait a minute," You said, your eyes widening as realization dawned on you, "This looks like Jay's handwriting."
Heeseung's eyes widened in surprise, “Jay? Are you serious?"
You remember how his handwriting was when you guys passed notes back and forth in class out of boredom. You just didn’t look at the note for those past months. Everything suddenly clicked into place.
That boy that had given you the note, he was pointing at Jay, not Heeseung. Your heart raced as you pieced together the puzzle, feeling a mix of confusion and betrayal.
"It wasn't you," You whispered, more to yourself than to Heeseung, "It was Jay."
Heeseung reached out and placed a comforting hand on your shoulder, "I'm sorry you had to go through that misunderstanding," He said softly, "But I'm here now."
You looked up at him, gratitude and warmth filling your chest. But at the same time, you couldn’t stop thinking about Jay, “H-Heeseung thank you, but the only reason why I liked you, was because I thought you gave me this note, and you liked me that long too.”
Heeseung's smile faltered. It was silent for a few seconds before he let out a sigh, “You like Jay, don’t you? All those times spent together really helped you find your one.”
“I guess I didn’t really know at all.” You muttered. Heeseung cupped your face, staring into your eyes. You could tell the sadness in his eyes.
“I don’t blame you for liking Jay, I blame myself for loving you too late.” He sadly smiled. You hugged him tightly, he wrapped his arms around your waist, burying his head in your neck.
As you stood there, the warmth of Heeseung's embrace enveloping you, you felt a mix of emotions swirling inside. Heeseung gently pulled back, looking into your eyes with a serious expression.
"You need to tell Jay," He said softly.
You nodded, understanding the weight of his words. Heeseung gave you one last reassuring smile before turning and walking away. You watched him leave, feeling a sense of finality.
Taking a deep breath, you pulled out your phone and dialed Jay's number. He picked up after a few rings, his voice laced with confusion, "Hey, what's up? Why are you calling?"
"Can you come over?" You asked, your voice trembling slightly.
Jay hesitated, "I don't think I should... because of Heeseung."
"We broke up," You said, your voice steadying. There was a pause on the other end, and then Jay spoke again, his confusion evident, "Wait, what? You broke up?"
"Just come over, please," You urged. You hanged up not wanting to hear him talk.
A few minutes later, there was a knock on your door. You opened it to find Jay standing there, his expression a mix of confusion and concern. Before he could say anything, you closed the distance between you and kissed him. Jay was taken aback but quickly responded, his arms wrapping around you.
When you finally pulled away, you looked up at him and said, "You were the one who gave me the note."
Jay's eyes widened in surprise, "How did you know?"
You chuckled softly, "Because only you would do something cheesy like that."
Jay laughed, the sound warm and genuine. How you missed it. "Guilty as charged."
Before you could say anything else, Jay leaned in and kissed you again, this time with more confidence. The kiss deepened, and soon you found yourselves lost in each other, the world outside forgotten.
The kiss became hot feeling , feeling Jay's tongue hot inside your mouth. You let out tiny moans when he began pushing you on the couch nearby. You wrapped your arms around his neck, trying to make the kiss deeper.
Jay broke the kiss and connected foreheads with you, both of you panting, “Been wanting to do that since we started this deal.” He panted. You smiled and pecked his lips.
“Surprised you didn’t wanna do it before that. But then again, you did hate me.” You teased. Jay scoffed and kissed your lips again.
“I didn’t hate you. Just didn’t wanna get rejected.” He admitted. You furrowed your eyebrows and rubbed his cheek with your hand.
“I’m sorry you felt that way. But you have me now, and I’m all yours.” You whispered.
“All mine.” He replied. He kissed along your jaw and sucked on it. You moaned softly and threw your head back.
He suddenly stopped leaving you confused before he flips you over in your stomach. He lifted your sweater up and off you. You arched your back, your ass hitting his groin. That earned a slap making you whimper. He then slowly slid your shorts off with your underwear.
You felt the cold air hitting your wet pussy and clenched. Jay fingers dipped easily inside you from behind causing you to arch your back while clenching a nearby pillow. His long thick fingers going in and out so smooth because of your dripping pussy.
You tried grinding down on them, but let out a sharp scream feeling your hair being pulled back, “You’re gonna take what I fucking give you.” He rasped out. You tried nodding your head, but couldn’t with the tightness of his grip on your hair.
He went a fast pace, however then went at a slow pace teasingly. You whined wanting him to go faster, “P-Please Jay!” You cried out. Jay didn’t listen to you and took his fingers out. You panted hard wanting to cum and being upset with the loss of contact.
You heard rustling behind you and turned your head back and saw Jay taking off his clothes too. You bit your lip, drooling over his dick. He stroked it slow and steady, “Ready?” He said. You nodded frantically and sticked your ass out more to him.
He gripped your waist and slowly, he entered. You both moaned in unison. He cursed feeling your hot walls engulf him tightly. You gasped for air feeling his dick fill you up.
He didn’t waste anytime and started going at a fast pace. You let out a squeal feeling his balls slapping against your pussy, adding a big amount of pleasure.
“Hah! Slow down J-Jay!” You wailed out. Jay chuckled and wrapped his hand around your neck, pushing your head down against the couch. You felt it hard to breathe, nonetheless it felt so good being manhandled.
“Pussy feels so good. Such a good girl for me~” He breathed out.
“Y-Yes! O-Only for you.” You moaned. Jay hummed, approving. And he’s never gonna let you go again.
You felt your orgasm coming, “G-Gonna cum! cumming, cumming!-“ You felt your jaw go slack feeling your orgasm. Jay didn’t stop. He continued fucking you through your orgasm leaving you shaking.
“You’ll be a good girl and wait? Gonna fucking breed this pussy till it’s full of my cum.” Jay groaned. You look behind you and gave Jay a seductive look.
“Please cum inside me.” You pleaded. That’s all it took before you felt warm cum filling you. Your eyes rolled back before you came again. Jay cursed and took his dick out, surprised you came again.
You panted heavenly and felt Jay wrap his arms around you, “Are you okay?” He asked, kissing the nape of your neck.
You smiled and nodded, “Just fine.” You responded. He chuckled and placed his head on top of yours. You both didn’t say anything else as sleep overtook both of you and soon you both fell asleep in each others warmth.
The next morning, you woke up on the couch, feeling a bit disoriented. As you rubbed your eyes, the memories of last night came flooding back, and a smile crept onto your face. You noticed you were clean and wearing fresh clothes, which made you wonder how that happened. Then, a delicious aroma wafted through the air, drawing you towards the kitchen.
You walked in to find Jay standing by the stove, cooking. He turned and saw you, a warm smile spreading across his face, "Hey, I hope you don't mind that I'm using your kitchen," He said.
"It's fine," You replied, feeling a surge of affection. You walked up to him and wrapped your arms around his waist from behind. Jay chuckled, clearly amused.
"What are you doing?" He asked, his voice light and teasing.
"You're warm," You said simply, resting your head against his back.
Jay laughed softly, "Well, breakfast is almost done."
You just smiled, feeling a sense of contentment wash over you. This was a moment you wanted to hold onto forever.
After finishing the delicious breakfast Jay had prepared, you both cleaned up the kitchen together, sharing light conversation and laughter. Once everything was tidied up, you suggested watching a movie, and Jay agreed with a smile. You both settled on the couch, picking a movie that you both liked.
After the movie, Jay turned to you with a mischievous smile, "I have a surprise for you," He said, his eyes twinkling with excitement.
You tilted your head, feeling a mix of curiosity and confusion, "A surprise? What is it?"
Jay chuckled softly, "You'll see. Just get ready. Wear something comfortable."
You nodded, the anticipation building as you went to your room to change. After a few minutes, you returned, dressed and ready. Jay took your hand and led you to his car. The drive was filled with light chatter and laughter, but Jay kept the destination a secret.
When you finally arrived, Jay parked the car and turned to you with a playful grin, "Okay, now for the fun part," He said, pulling out a blindfold.
You raised an eyebrow, feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness, "A blindfold? Really?"
Jay nodded, his grin widening, "Trust me, it'll be worth it."
You allowed him to tie the blindfold around your eyes, plunging you into darkness. Jay took your hand again, guiding you out of the car. As you walked, you felt the ground change beneath your feet, from pavement to something softer. Sand. You couldn't help but ask, "Where are we?"
Jay only chuckled, continuing to lead you forward. After a few more steps, he stopped, "Okay, you can take off the blindfold now."
You removed the blindfold and gasped. Before you was a beautiful picnic setup on the beach. The very same beach where you had once spilled your drink on Jay, a moment that had been both awkward and endearing. The sight was breathtaking—blankets, cushions, and a spread of delicious-looking food, all laid out under the soft glow of fairy lights.
Tears welled up in your eyes as you took it all in, "Jay, this is... this is beautiful," You said, your voice trembling with emotion.
Jay smiled, his eyes filled with tenderness, “Just like you," He replied softly.
You wiped away a tear, still in awe, "How did you do all this?"
Jay chuckled, looking a bit sheepish, “I had some help. Jake, Sunghoon, and Heeseung pitched in."
You couldn't help but smile, knowing that even Heeseung had helped out. You turned to Jay, feeling a surge of affection, "Thank you," You whispered, leaning in to kiss him.
The kiss was sweet and filled with gratitude. You both settled down on the blankets, enjoying the food and each other's company. The sound of the waves crashing gently against the shore added to the magic of the evening.
As you ate, you couldn't help but steal glances at Jay, feeling incredibly lucky to have him in your life. The surprise, the effort, and the thoughtfulness behind it all made you realize just how much he cared. And in that moment, surrounded by the beauty of the beach and the warmth of Jay's presence, you felt truly happy.
As you guys finished eating and now watching the ocean crashing together with a beautiful sound, you found yourself glancing at Jay more than the scenery. The warmth of his presence and the memory of last night filled your mind.
You couldn't ignore the growing urge to close the distance between you two. Taking a deep breath, you turned towards Jay, who noticed your gaze and looked at you with curiosity.
Without overthinking it, you leaned in and pressed your lips to his. Jay's eyes widened in surprise for a moment, but then he responded, kissing you back gently. Encouraged by his response, you deepened the kiss, pouring all the emotions you had been feeling into it.
Jay's arms wrapped around you, pulling you closer. The kiss grew more passionate, and you found yourself climbing onto his lap, straddling him. You continued kissing him, feeling the intensity of the moment building. Jay's hands roamed your back, holding you tightly as if he never wanted to let go.
You broke the kiss briefly to catch your breath, your foreheads resting against each other. Jay looked into your eyes, his expression a mix of happiness and something deeper. You smiled, and without a word, you leaned in to kiss him again. This time, the kiss was slower, more deliberate, as if you were both savoring every second.
The ocean and seagulls made noise in the background, but neither of you paid attention to it. All that mattered was the lust you felt in that moment, the unspoken feeling that Jay also feels. You continued kissing Jay, feeling a sense of rightness and contentment that you had never felt before.
You then broke the kiss again and suddenly went between his legs. Jay stares confused, but you just smiled innocently and stoked his cloth dick. He groaned and slowly threw his head back. You felt his dick becoming hard fast and played with the strap bands of his sweats.
You pulled them down softly with the help of him by lifting up his lower body. His dick slapped against his lower stomach. You drooled, staring at it and gently took it in your hands. He moaned and bit his lip. You gave it kitten licks before going to the tip, sucking it just a little, but giving it enough for Jay to want more.
You watched his expressions. His brows furrowed, his eyes hazed, hair still messy from last night, his mouth open and wanting to be kissed, his shirt sticking with sweat. You decided to stop the teasing and engulfed his dick fully. Jay let out a loud moan and held your head, trying to steady himself. You sucked it hard and slow making his head feel dizzy.
“Ah- Fuck! Have you done this before?” Jay questioned. If you haven’t, you're pretty good for a beginner. You looked up at him with those pretty eyes almost making him cum right then and there, but he held back. You tried shaking your head with his dick still in your mouth making him sigh feeling you bob against it.
You felt his balls tighten against your hands indicating he was gonna cum. Jay thrust up a few times making you gag before he finally came. Spurts of his cum going down your throat. He panted while still holding your head. You let go of his dick and wiped your mouth, “Did I do good?”
“You did amazing.” He smiled. You giggled and stood up. You watched Jay pull his boxers and sweatpants back up before grabbing your wrist making you lay right on top of him.
The only sound heard was the water splashing and Jay's heartbeat. You closed your eyes hearing it. It sounded so loud, and yet so calm. You couldn’t help but say those three words, “I love you.”
You felt Jay froze as he looked down at you. He then smiled and leaned to kiss you, “I love you too, pretty.” He said. You smiled back.
As you both continued watching the scenery, you felt a surge of happiness fill through your body. You loved Jay, since the moment he agreed to fake date you. You were glad that happened, unless none of this would have happened.
And as you looked at Jay once more, you knew he was the right man for you, and for the rest of your life.
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drag me out: coriolanus snow
Summary: A night out with friends is good for your health but proves to be messier than expected as you find yourself entangled with a private at the bar.
Warnings: SMUT 18+ mdni, unprotected sex (cap before tap y'all), drinking, modern day military (peacekeeper!) coryo, cursing, choking, p in v, public sex, one night stand, oral sex, horny coryo, slight coercion if you squint, modern!au
THIS WORK IS 18+. IF I CANNOT SEE YOUR AGE, DO NOT INTERACT. ALL MINORS OR AGE ANON USERS WILL BE BLOCKED FROM THIS ACCOUNT.
Word Count: 2.3k
A/N: I shit you not I've had this in my drafts since last December and it's been reworked two or three times so thanks for voting and clearing my drafts :)
masterlist
The bar was rowdy when you walked in. The spot (a dingy dive bar called Plutarch's) was frequently haunted by your girl friends after grueling exams, breakups, or a bout of weekend boredom. Your college wasn't far from the local military base and served as the perfect place for finding something to do on a Friday night. This one was no different.
You'd wanted to blow off steam after a long week. Or maybe it was blowing off steam before a long week. The holidays and "homecoming" seasons were difficult for a myriad of reasons. The topic of grades was a touchy subject with your family although you'd grown stronger as a student in recent years. Your mother, another reason, was the epitome of neurotic during the colder months. Your father always said it was "cabin fever" with a dismissive wave of his hand, never seeming to care enough to cure her. Your friends always rolled their eyes at your hesitance to go back home, but never dared to follow you and find out if you were telling the truth or not.
The group of girls you came with settled at the bar, ordering drinks and scoping out the crowd for something or someone to direct your night. You talked amongst yourselves over the band playing and whispered about the attractive patrons. Suddenly there was a cheer towards the pool tables, causing your eyes to wander to the source. A group of young men entered to join their friends.
"Do you think they're college kids?" One of your friends asked.
"With those builds? No way. Besides, I spot dog tags." Says another, who playfully shoved your shoulder.
You smirked and shook your head, finishing your drink.
"I came here to avoid problems, not get involved with a new one, remember?" You joked, eyes scanning the group of men.
Your group was left to giggle and gossip more and the drinks began to cause a buzz in your head. There was a tall blonde in the group by the pool table who your friend pointed out. His buzz cut made him stand out and you couldn't decide if he was magnetic or if it was the cocktail you'd been nursing. A tattoo peaked out of his shirt sleeve as he crossed his arms, watching his friends, then yours, then you.
You shared a moment of eye contact, his eyes locked in on yours. Your friends started to whisper excitedly, urging you to talk to him.
"No," you shook your head. "he can come over if he wants me."
You turned back to your friends, finished your second drink of the night, and carried on conversation for a few minutes until-
"Excuse me ladies, can I cut in?"
There he was, standing patiently in front of you as your friends quietly left the two of you alone. Up close, he was so much bigger than you anticipated. His shoulders were broad and he towered over you. His smile was polite and practiced, but his eyes seemed calculated, honed in. He was now your problem.
"You scared off my friends," you joked, turning around. "buy me a drink and make it up to me."
He laughed behind you, leaning next to you on the bar.
"What do you like?" His eyes gave you a careful scan as you told him your order.
The two of you laughed awkwardly and waited for your drink.
"Do you come here a lot?" He asked, making you scoff.
"God, do you try that on everyone?"
"Only the pretty girls." He handed you your drink. "Or the ones that might make me look better."
"Funny." You said, feeling a little more buzzed than usual.
"Did it work?"
You shrugged playfully and smiled. Maybe a little, you thought.
"Who are you?"
"Private Coriolanus Snow."
"Flashing your rank? You're on a roll."
He smiled at you in a way that made your stomach churn and look for your friends who are now mingling with his. When you turned back to him, he was resting his back against the bar, big hand cradling a beer. He really was so much bigger close up.
"So," you started, "do you come here a lot?"
This earned a laugh from him. It was a good, hearty laugh. A laugh that sounded like he needed it.
"I practically live here off base. It's my outlet besides working out."
Now it was your turn to laugh.
"Holy shit." You mumbled. "You've got all the lines ready." You let out another giggle and shook your head, looking at him.
"Alright, I'm gonna be honest." Coriolanus lowered his voice and leaned closer to you. "I get real lonely on base. My friends over there-" He nodded in the direction where your friend groups were mixed. "they want me to find someone pretty to..." he cleared his throat. "blow off steam."
You nearly choked on your drink. Coriolanus laughed a little at your reaction and took your drink, placing it next to his beer on the bar.
"Are you propositioning me, Private?" He laughed again and shrugged.
"What if I am?" He looked at you a little more seriously, his voice more firm as you felt yourself blushing from the eye contact.
"I drove my friends, I wasn't even supposed to be drinking." You trailed off and looked back at the group.
"Relax," He spoke softly, touching your arm. "you've already been irresponsible once tonight, what say you to another bad decision?"
You blinked up at him, unsure of what to say as you shifted near your barstool. There were a million thoughts running around your head and as if he could sense it, he gave your forearm a soft squeeze.
"No pressure. I just think you're cute and we could help each other out." He smirked and raised an eyebrow. "We don't even have to go back to base if you don't want prying eyes peeking in the barracks. The alley is usually empty."
"How do you know that?" You cringed slightly, hiding your amusement.
"The less you know, the better."
You found yourself laughing at his quick remark. Frankly, Coriolanus was right. You wanted to remain as clueless as possible. You looked at him again and recalled the whole purpose of your night out in the first place. He was really attractive, you couldn't ignore the way your heart was threatening to grow wings and fly out of your chest, but you were hesitant. What about my friends? You wondered.
"Fine. But," You looked at him. "We keep this a one night thing. I don't want to be a bootycall on base for you."
He shook his head and smiled at the floor.
"Do I come off that desperate?"
"No." You answered a little too quickly. You were very tipsy and he was getting better looking by the minute. His soft smirk drew your eyes to his lips. They were slightly parted as he laughed at your quickness.
Before you processed it, he placed a kiss to your lips and took your hand. You stood and followed him as he snuck you out the back door of the bar. Coriolanus made sure to hide you away in a corner before kissing you again. That time, it was longer, more desperate, and more sloppy. The mixing of drinks on your tongue made you never want to stop kissing him. Your drink and his beer somehow tasted better than you would have thought. He's got you caged against the wall as he worked his lips down your neck, his teeth and tongue nipping and soothing your skin.
"Think you can get on your knees, baby?"
You nodded eagerly as he fumbled with his belt. You dropped to your knees, the concrete scraping you through your jeans as you looked up at him.
"Just need you to get him warmed up." He mumbled, freeing himself from his jeans. A thigh tattoo caught your attention, the combination of letters and numbers were legible for a moment before Coriolanus lifted your chin with his free hand and stroked his cock with the other.
"You're pretty." He observed plainly, his hand pausing to guide your lips to his leaky tip. "Shit-" He groaned as you wrapped your lips around him.
He didn't waste any time, tangling his hand in your hair as he bobbed your head. You gagged slightly, your hands braced on his thighs. You felt your heart skip a beat as the slightest hint of a whine fell past his lips. You hollowed your cheeks and hummed. Coriolanus cursed again, head tipped fully back, before he pulled you off. You opened your mouth to pout, desperate to keep pulling those sounds out of him, but he stopped you.
"Up." He demanded quietly, helping you stand. When you got to your feet he kissed you hard.
"Shit, baby." He breathed a laugh. "I might have to get your number so I can try that mouth again."
Before you can answer, his lips are latched on to yours. His hands hurriedly work at your skirt, flipping it up and sliding your damp panties to the side. When he felt you, he paused to look down and god if you could have frozen time, you would have. His eyes darkened significantly as he brought his fingers to his lips, sucking them clean.
"Mmm." Coriolanus hummed. "You're ready to go."
You nodded, looking down as his hand wrapped around his cock again.
"Please?" You whispered. The desperation in your voice betrayed your cool exterior.
"Good manners, good girl." He smirked, lining himself up. "You gonna take it for me? Hmm?"
His question was more of a taunt as he pressed into you. He lifted your leg as your head lolled back against the brick wall. Your hand clung to his back through his shirt, feeling the muscles rippling beneath your skin. He gave you no time to adjust as he started a quick pace inside you, dragging against all the right places. The stretch of him was just the right amount of sting and sweetness.
You were a little embarrassed at the sounds fleeing your mouth. He let you moan freely for a bet before pausing.
"You have to be a good girl and be quiet for me." He laughed, kissing your neck. "Take it like a quiet girl, baby."
Coriolanus resumed his movements after giving you the order. You tried to stifle the sounds, but his tip was kissing the parts inside of you that made your head spin and your knees weak. The next time you whimpered just a little too loud between labored breaths, he put his large hand over your mouth.
"Shhh, baby. I know." He cooed, pounding into you a little rougher as if to test your quickly dissipating self-control. "You're so perfect for me." He praised. "Hugging my cock so good, baby. So warm."
As Coriolanus rambled against your neck, you felt the knot in your stomach building. You clawed desperately at his shirt and tried to stifle accidental sounds against his shoulder. The scratch of the cold brick against your back seemed like a vague background sensation and you felt yourself drifting further away. The leg you were standing on began to tremble as you whispered desperately “Coryo!” and try to stay up.
“Getting wobbly, pretty?” He looked at you and wrapped his free hand around your throat. He didn’t let up his brutal pace as he shushed you again.
“Feels so good, shit-” Coriolanus groaned loudly. “You’ve never been treated like this before hm?” He kissed you softly, a contrast to his rough movements.
You couldn’t respond. Part of this was due to the intense feeling of him pounding into you like a teenager afraid to get caught, but it was mainly due to your rapidly approaching orgasm. You silky, wet walls gave him a warning squeeze, causing him to falter momentarily.
“You close, pretty?” Coriolanus panted. You nodded.
“Yeah, huh?” He cooed almost condescendingly before lowering his lips to your ear. “I’m gonna fill this perfect cunt up and you’re gonna let me.”
With that, you became consumed with a white hot disorientation. You felt everything and nothing at the same time as you mewled against his shoulder. Coriolanus squeezed your thigh, whimpering as he pressed himself to the deepest part of you, making good on his promise moments before.
You continued holding onto his broad shoulders for support as you caught your breath. Coriolanus dropped your leg and gave you a quick kiss before tucking himself away and zipping his pants.
“Can you walk?” He wondered, biting back a laugh.
“Honestly?” You huffed, smiling. “That’s anyone’s guess.”
He unceremoniously offered you his hand as you finished readjusting yourself.
“Still don’t wanna give me your number?” He joked quietly against your ear.
You laughed as the two of you made your way back to the bar. Your friends and his friends were engaged in a heated game of darts, laughing and drinking together.
“It’s probably best that I don’t.” You replied sarcastically, earning a chuckle from him. As you gripped his bicep for balance, you thanked whatever higher power that he was so much bigger than you.
“Damn.” He cursed, smiling toothily. “Well, if next time you’re here, say in two weeks, and you need a little relief…”
You blushed and looked back to your friends.
“Nice try. One night only, remember?” You smiled back.
But it wasn’t one night only, because after you got all your stumbling friends into your empty dorm room and settled down for the night, you opened up your Tinder only to see his face as the first one upon opening the app. You decided, maybe not in your right mind, that it was fate and swiped right on your new favorite serviceman.
#blyth me#coriolanus snow#coryo snow#modern military!coriolanus#modern military!coryo#coriolanus snow smut#coriolanus snow imagine#coriolanus snow fic#coriolanus snow x reader#coryo snow smut#coryo snow imagine#coryo snow fic#coryo snow x reader#modern military!coriolanus smut#modern military!coriolanus imagine#modern military!coriolanus fic#modern military!coriolanus x reader#modern military!coryo smut#modern military!coryo imagine#modern military!coryo fic#modern military!coryo x reader#tbosas#tbosas smut#tbosas imagine#tbosas fic#imagine#fic#smut
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This is hilarious, because most of the leftists on this site hate me and would be outraged that @takashi0 labelled me one.
But you're the real charmer here. OP took a screen shot of my vent post, probably because I turned reblogs off, but you had to tag me in.
This was a vent post that I made because I was stunned by the audacity of the post I was referencing to imply that white men being hated by the left for their "immutable traits" have some kind of unique experience and other people just don't understand.
And I'm not talking about being hated by society in general I am talking about being hated by the left for immutable traits.
Do any of you have any idea how much the left hates women? I've received fairly graphic hate and suicide baiting from the left. I can't tell you the number of women I've talked to who've gotten that and worse. And all of us are women who have had contact with the left because we share some beliefs and values.
I'm also Jewish. Do you really want to talk about how the left feels about Jews? I'm also a lesbian and I've been made to feel unwelcome as a result so many times. I was hated for being a lesbian in a queer, leftist fandom space. I don't know a day without being hated for immutable traits. So excuse me if I struggle to feel sympathy for a white man complaining about it. That's what I meant by world's smallest violin.
The reason I made my own post to vent my frustration with that specific idea and didn't confront the poster is I do believe there was value in his overall point. I was actually incredibly disappointed to find this part in the post, because I think "people who feel alienated sometimes find community on the right" is a pattern worth talking about and trying to address. But this last week men have just been completely unable to read the room.
Within days of the second election in eight years that showed women just how much our country hates us, men were posting about how we need to reach out to men, to men support or have supported right wing ideas, and be nicer to them or else they'll do worse. I guarantee you there are a lot of women who share this goal and are even willing to help (although it's my belief that it's largely men who need to be doing this work, because the men they're trying to reach don't listen to women and women don't need to put themselves in danger) but we couldn't even have a few days to grieve. Women are expected to be 24/7 empathy machines, even at our lowest point.
And you know what the real kicker is? I never said I hated this man. Nothing in this post suggests I hate men. A woman venting about struggling to feel sympathy for a white man who feels hated for things he can't control is what you consider hateful.
You don't know me, and you have no idea how much time and energy I've spent practicing empathy, engaging with people in good faith even when they expressed views I didn't agree with, trying to inform people I felt were well-intentioned but simply misinformed... and Donald Trump won anyway. So why should I care if complaining about men will supposedly make him win? I've mostly gotten the nihilism out of my system at this point, but come on.
I turned off reblogs on my post for a reason, I would like this to be the last time I address this publicly.
Lefists: "How could we have possibly lost to Trump?!" Leftists, every single waking second since 2015:
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Bad Day (Papa Emeritus IV x Gender-Neutral!Reader)
Requested by @ollies-station !!! <3
Tags: Fluff, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Reader Is Hinted Trans But It's Pretty Vague, Mentions Of Body Dysmorphia/Dysphoria, 2nd Person POV
Copia hovered over you, paints smudged and halfway wiped off. He stopped in the middle of washing his face when he noticed something wasn't right with you. You lay face down in the bed, unmoving, just so done with life.
"Eh... t-tesoro, what's wrong?" Copia asks warily, head tilted like a confused puppy, eyes darting around the room awkwardly. He was never very good at comforting people. But you were the love of his life, how could he not at least try to be of help? He just can't stand to see you like this.
"Everything." You reply hoarsely, muffled by the pillow you were crying into earlier. You were hardly exaggerating, everything seemed to be going wrong and sending you further down a spiral. Not to mention, you've not been very kind to yourself today either. When you first woke up, things immediately felt off. You felt off. Looking into the mirror, you instantly felt dread, like something wasn't quite right with you. Deep rooted insecurities bubbled up to the surface, your body not feeling like your own. You just want the day to be over already, but every passing moment feels like eternity.
"Bad day, huh?" Copia sighs, sitting down on the bed with you, mindful to give you a little bit of space if you needed it. You finally lift your head up, and the sight makes Copias heart ache. Red, puffy face, tear stains down your cheeks, hair tussled and greasy. You hadn't even gotten a chance to shower that morning, notably the first sign today wasn't going to be all that great. You probably looked like a hot mess right now, but to Copia, you were the most beautifully ethereal being he'd ever laid his eyes on, no matter what state you were in.
"Is there anything I can do?" Copia asks concernedly, softly stroking your back with a gloved hand. "Do you want to talk about it? It might make you feel better."
"Maybe... But there's still so much stuff I have to do today-"
"Non importante. Whatever needs to get done today, I will do it for you. You've had enough stress put on you today, now it's time for you to relax. Now, tell your Papa what is wrong, okie dokie?"
You couldn't help yourself, airing out all your grievances to him. You spared no details, every little thing that went wrong and every little worry you had was brought to his attention, and he listened intently to every word. That was the one thing he's always been very good at. Listening. And he was right, it did make you feel a little better, especially with how earnest you could tell he was.
When it was all said and done, he said nothing at first, simply holding you close to his chest, his warmth and sweet smell of cologne quickly lulling you into a sense of security and comfort. You knew you always had a safe space with him.
"Bad days come and go, amore. You must keep in mind that this won't last forever. The good days will come back sooner than you think. And yes, maybe they will fleet sooner than you want them to as well, but the important thing is that they will come again. Look outside, tesoro..." You did as you were told, gazing out the window to see the sun slowly setting over the horizon.
"The day is almost over, you see? And tomorrow is a new day. A better day. Why don't you sit here for a moment and focus on that while I run you a nice relaxing bath, hm? I'll quickly run whatever errands you have left today, and after that I'll order some takeout for the two of us, how's that sound? I'll get you whatever you want."
"And... And can we maybe watch something after? And cuddle?" You sniffle. A comfort show would be great right now. He smiles. "Of course! Anything for my baby." He presses a chaste kiss to your forehead, pulling away to get up and do the tasks he promised. You quickly grab the lapels of his jacket, keeping him from leaving you so soon.
"Copia... You know you don't have to do this, right? I'll be fine, really." You murmur, self conscious and worried that you're asking too much of this sweet, perfect man you've somehow managed to claim as yours. He chuckled.
"I know, amore; I want to. I want to make you happy, I want to make things easier for you. Because I love you. Because you deserve that. Capisci?" He says, a gentle firmness in his soft-spoken voice. Hesitantly, you nod. Still, you don't let go of his jacket just yet.
"Could you stay with me for just a little while longer?" You ask, hopeful and bleary eyed. He grins.
"As long as you need, tesoro."
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#the band ghost#ghost bc#ghost band#ghost band fanfic#papa emertius#papa emeritus iv#papa emeritus iv x reader#papa copia#cardinal copia x reader#cardinal copia#copia emeritus#copia#frater imperator#frater imperator x reader#hurt/comfort#nameless ghouls#ghost band fandom#fluff fic
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Unexpected Harmony
It was a chilly autumn evening, and Y/N was sitting on a bench at the edge of a quiet park, sipping on a hot chocolate. She wrapped her scarf a little tighter around her neck as she scrolled through her phone, lost in her thoughts. Suddenly, she felt a light tap on her shoulder. Startled, she looked up to see none other than Matt Sturniolo standing there with his usual grin and a hot coffee in hand.
"Hey, Y/N," Matt said, his voice warm and easygoing. "Mind if I join you?"
She felt her cheeks flush, but managed a nod, trying to play it cool. They’d met at a friend’s party a few weeks ago, and since then, Matt had a habit of showing up in the most unexpected places – though she didn’t mind one bit.
"Fancy meeting you here," she teased, scooting over to make room for him on the bench.
Matt shrugged and gave her that playful smirk of his. "What can I say? Maybe I just have good timing."
They sat in comfortable silence for a few moments, the crisp autumn air surrounding them. As they sipped their drinks, Matt glanced at her with a thoughtful expression. "So, Y/N, what’s the plan for the night? Or were you just planning on people-watching alone?"
Y/N laughed. "Yeah, people-watching was the plan. But since you’re here… maybe we can come up with something a bit more exciting."
Matt’s eyes lit up. "Now you’re talking! Let’s go do something completely random. How do you feel about crashing a karaoke bar?"
Y/N’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, but Matt was already on his feet, offering her his hand. "Come on, I know a place nearby," he said, grinning like he’d been waiting for this moment.
They walked to the karaoke bar, laughing and making jokes the entire way. When they got there, it was exactly what Y/N imagined – colorful lights, loud music, and people who seemed to take karaoke way too seriously.
After a few songs from other brave singers, Matt grabbed her hand and led her to the stage. "Ready for our duet?" he asked, a mischievous glint in his eye.
Y/N couldn't help but laugh. "I’m not sure if they’re ready for us, but let’s do it."
They sang, danced, and completely stole the show with a wildly out-of-tune performance, but neither of them cared. By the end of the night, they were breathless, laughing, and feeling like they’d known each other for ages.
As they walked out into the cool night, Matt looked over at her with a soft smile. "Tonight was perfect. We should do it again sometime."
Y/N smiled back, knowing she’d never forget this night. "Anytime, Matt."
And as they walked off together, she had a feeling this was just the start of something unforgettable.
Tags: @madifilipowiczslvt @sophand4n4 @daysonend @phone4pills @sweetreliever
#sturniolo triplets#christopher sturniolo#matt sturniolo#chris sturniolo#mattsfavseason🍂🍁☕️🧸#sturniolo fandom#sturniolo triplets oneshot#chris sturniolo imagine#chris x reader#christopher owen sturniolo#aalimux💓#aalixsturns✨️
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I love yapping about Alpha and Pebble being a little bit toxic for fun but I created a relationship analysis on accident while yelling at a friend about them (said friend has no fucking clue who I was talking about) so anyway, have 500 words of me rambling about Alpha and Pebble and why they are the way that they are:
edit: tagging @wrathofrats because they are like one of the biggest reasons I went down this rabbit hole
Alpha looks down on most of his packmates but not out of malice. He has a certain natural authority, being one of the oldest ghouls still topside. His mind works on the concept of strength and dominance. He’s not entirely just mean to his packmates, he simply sees his natural authority as something that elevates him. Again there is no bad intention whatsoever, he loves his pack more than anything. That arguably makes his “superiority” even more prominent. He has to watch out for them. When he was summoned the ghouls were treated like shit. Much like back in the pits, they had to fight for their right to exist everyday. Proving their value to the clergy over and over again because if they weren’t useful, what was stopping them from sending them back? Alpha loved Secondo but subconsciously never forgave him for letting his pack be ripped to shreds over and over again. Logically he knew Secondo tried, it cost him not only his status as papa but eventually his life.
Maybe knowing all that explains Alpha and Pebbles relationship.
When Pebble was summoned he looked haggard and frail, not unlike any previously summoned ghouls but something was different. Alpha didn’t quite understand why but he felt the natural impulse to take a stand between the vulnerable earth ghoul and the members of the ministry present. He wouldn’t let them get close, he couldn’t let them hurt him. Eventually Omega managed to take Pebble to the infirmary. Still, Alpha wouldn’t leave his side, growling at siblings and only letting Omega get close enough to provide the needed care.
Pebble was recovering quickly but he stayed rather small. Earth wasn’t around anymore to assess his magical capabilities and the infirmary was too far from any form of nature for Pebble to make it known. So to Alpha that meant he needed to teach the ghoul how to stand his ground against the clergy. If he couldn't defend himself with his fists or his element he should at least have his words. After a few weeks of Alpha essentially bullying the poor ghoul, he started to shoot back. He unknowingly created a monster, as Omega liked to say.
That's how their complicated relationship started. Alpha giving him shit to try and help him survive in the long run but Pebble not really needing that because, as it turns out Pebble was strong and confident in his magic, quickly proving to be one of the strongest earth ghouls the abbey had ever seen.
Long after the last ghoul was banished, Alpha still had a hard time letting go of his past compulsions. It got easier over time. Seeing the pack he loved so much develop without the fear and apprehension he had grown used to. Despite everything, his tough-love-act almost turned into a coping mechanism. A pattern he’d fall back into every now and then. The only ghouls who’d put up with him then were Omega, who would just talk him out of it with his therapy bullshit, and Pebble. Pebble, who knows how to handle it, who knows that Alpha loved him not despite but because of the way he’d act and Pebble who understood.
#i dont even know what this is#character analysis with some angst and relationship sprinkled into it or something#they mean so much to me like y'all dont understand#this is way too long idk if anyone is interested enough to read all this lmaooo#also maybe one day the brain will allow me to write more angst around ghouls being banished cause lord do i have evil thoughts#:3#the band ghost#ghost bc#ghost#ghost band#ghoul thoughts#alpha ghoul#pebble ghoul#omega ghoul#shitghosting#nameless ghoul#idrk what else to tag here
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Hey if you could can you write for the Ancients comforting a fellow ancient reader who got kidnapped by their beast and chat with them? (I don't know how else to work this I'm not good at explaining things)
Plot suggestion: basically it's kind of just the scene from Sam Remy Spider-Man from Peter Parker getting kidnap to Green Goblin giving them a proposition then flying away saying "THINK ABOUT IT "HERO"" but with some alterations
Here's the scene that I'm talking about
https://youtu.be/sAfxBXAQCZM?si=LfuEqW_z1cqA9uqp
Brother, I had to go watch that scene- I will gladly do it. Side note, most likely going with the light of patience Y/N cookie because that's currently the only Y/N ancient cookie I've created.
Comfort after the chaos
After a long lasting series of VERY unfortunate events, you were back in your kingdom and exhausted. You just endured what seemed to be a forever lasting trip to and from Beast-Yeast and you had a lot on your mind. Especially after your encounter with the beasts. You have no idea how, but you had to travel there 5 times. And in all those five times you found yourself held captive. You were doing this to help your fellow ancients, NOT BE KIDNAPPED 5 TIMES IN THE TIME SPAN OF FIVE WEEKS!
Speaking of the ancients, they were all worried about you. You didn't have a previous holder of the light of patience, so there was no particular beast who was after your soul jam. But that was more of a reason to help your companions in defeating their beasts. However, you seemed to be targeted more than your allies, and no matter how hard you tried you found yourself in the same situation. In the clutches of the beasts.
The Beasts didn't harm you physically, but the mental trauma was far from ceasing anytime soon. Everything each of them said correlated to the conclusion that you'd be better off joining them and giving in to the corruption. Because there's nothing more the people love more than to watch a hero fall. In the end they'd all grow to be bitter to you, grow to hate you despite how much you've done for them. They'd hurt you and part of you knew it was true. "So why not hurt them fiirst?" That was always the question. All those interactions ended with them leaving you to think about it and you had never quite recovered from the experience
Your discomfort and unease did not go unnoticed by the other ancients, oh not at all. Every time you returned from beast yeast you seemed more shaken up and all of them felt guilty for having you tag along only to return traumatized. With this in mind, they all tried to comfort you as best they could. Though you never actually told them what had happened during your time being a hostage, they were determined to soothe any discomfort.
"Do not allow Shadow Milk cookies words to get to you, Y/N cookie. Anything from that Beast can not be trusted." Pure Vanilla cookie stated as he pulled a placed a tea cup on the table in front of you. He walks behind you and pulls a blanket over your shoulders as a means to make you feel at ease. And it's working. "I promise you that he will never be given the chance to disturb you so much. I will always be here to stir you in the right direction if he ever tries to get in your head again"
"I apologize once again that you had to be dragged through that issue, Y/N cookie." Dark Cacao said, he had grown a bit soft after he saw how being kidnapped had effected you. Despite you reassuring him that it wasn't his fault, he couldn't just leave it be. Though he wasn't exactly... best with comfort, you could see he was trying. Caramel Arrow Cookie and Crunchy Chip cookie were doing more of the direct comforting for him, CA occasionally hugging you and making sure you were ok whilst CC had his cream wolves huddle around you to comfort you. Both methods worked quite well. They did this because Dark Cacao himself genuinely wasn't sure of how the best way to console you would be after encountering Mystic Flour cookie. But you did appreciate the effort.
"Go on Y/N cookie! I insist. Anything you want shall be yours" Golden Cheese said. She had a plan, and that plan was to spoil you filthy! Anything you had taken an interest in was immediately yours. And even if you didn't want anything she'd still buy you things she knew you liked or gave you comfort. She would take you on flights around the kingdom too. She had also grown a habit of hugging you and wrapping her wings around you as though to protect you. And she was protecting you. Protecting you from Burning Spice cookie, as she should've done when you were still in Beast-Yeast. She's got you, and she ain't letting NOBODY try taking you away from her. They'd have to catch these hands first! And that gave you a sense of security
"How are you feeling, Y/N cookie? You doing better?" Hollyberry cookie asked as she prepared another cup of juice. You were both outside and she had been more of an energetic comforter than the previous three. A bit of fresh air and exercise should be a good distraction from whatever the heck Eternal Sugar cookie had said to you. She had also gotten you a lot of juice. Like- A LOT. You weren't sure if she was trying to get you drunk or something but fortunately none of them seemed to have alcohol. At least not the ones she had given you. She was also quite insistent on a bit more training so you could better prevent such situations, which was something you expected more from Dark Cacao but for some reason it didn't happen. Regardless, she's wants you to be protected, even if it's not by her.
"Please don't stray too far away, Y/N cookie. I still have yet to fully adjust to the forest myself." White Lily cookie requested as you both took a stroll under the night sky. She had been a lot more cautious with you after having lost you to Silent Salt cookie. She tried everything that usually made her feel better with you. Taking you to flower gardens, having a cup of tea whilst reading a good book, cuddles, any and everything. She also had the faeries take care of your needs when she couldn't be near, which they did gladly since they were aware of your contribution to their queens victory. White Lily will make sure you are as comfortable as possible and having her around is comforting in itself.
#crk x reader#crk#beast cookies#beast#cookie run#cr kingdom#cookie run kingdom x reader#crk ancients#white lily cookie#hollyberry cookie#golden cheese cookie#dark cacao cookie#pure vanilla cookie
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After Cyn's done tryna kill him, she'll eventually relent and they can get to work... whatever that is. I didn't do the outfit any justice, but the second i saw the Cowboy!Curt mega @ricky-mortis made i was literally like, "yes, that is IT."
This is, in my heart, a cannon fit for this au
#And if you disagree... well i cant hear you#K but i really am bad at clothes lol! and this weird pose kinda threw me off pretty hard so i will also blame that...#but i will do better next time#I am again letting people know his horse is 100% named after Cynthia because of the occasional attempts on his life 👍#I think i'll dub this a Try hard Doodle because thats what it is actually#and now for me talking way to much in that tags because i'm a terror:#I was going to pair this with another drawing that actually features curtwen btw#but my wrist said “No”#so maybe tomorrow?#(also... i have never actually drawn a person ON a horse before so this was really weird to do#this was actually a full body image... and then i halved it but then i couldn't do his foot? so i halved it again!)#Saf#spies are forever#cowboys are forever#<- WOULD watch the shit outta that [laughing at the idea of all the songs made really really country]#Cowboys your spies#Also some fun but also pretty dumb Au stuff: my vers of this au has always taken place in the wildwest in my head#so around 1865 to 1895#Art#and finally... OTL when the horse is better then the human#is the fact i drew animals for a majority of my life really obvious yet
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something really gets to me about eiffel and hera talking to themselves while addressing each other - in am i alone now? and the watchtower in particular. i can't say this to you, but you're still the person i want to tell it to. i know there's no way you can hear me, but if you can...
eiffel talks to himself a lot, and he is very used to being alone with no one paying much attention to the things he says, so i'm not sure he ever realized exactly how much until he was on the hephaestus. in the early days of the mission, i imagine hera responded to a lot of eiffel's asides and sort of embarrassed them both. and then that sort of... shifted. their relationship shifted, they got comfortable being around each other, and eiffel's conversations with himself started including hera, too. i like the idea of that as an establishing moment: that, at some point, there was a first time eiffel said something in an empty room, and hera was so used to him talking to himself that she didn't realize it was meant for her, and he asked her, "hera? are you there?"
i imagine hera still talked to eiffel, too, when they all thought he was dead. with each day increasingly longer and more difficult, that she would vent her frustrations to the empty comms room the same way he would've encouraged her to when he was there. she can't talk to anyone the way she can talk to him, and they just... keep talking to each other, even when they can't. they are so much a part of each other, the voice of encouragement and comfort in each other's heads. for so long, all they can really do for each other is talk, and they maintain that connection even in absence. they ask each other "are you there?" like reaching for each other's hands in the dark.
#wolf 359#w359#doug eiffel#hera wolf 359#eiffera#was talking about the middle part of this with beth hephaestuscrew earlier and she got the gears in my head turning#this kind of feels like multiple posts mashed together but i just. mm.#the importance of communication in all wolf 359 relationships but especially between eiffel and hera because it's so much of what#tethers hera to everyone and everything else. that even if she's annoyed sometimes by eiffel asking if she's there. it's also#a comfort in a way that he wants that affirmation. he's reaching out to her in the best way he knows how. and she does it too#i said some version of the last line of this in the tags of another post once but i think about it. i think about it.#there's something about how. hm.#eiffel drives conversations in the show. he's the communications officer. he gets people talking#and hera is the type of person who. goes quiet more often who shuts down and internalizes#that she's as much defined by the things she doesn't say.#and then. that some part of their relationship then ends up defined by things that couldn't be said#'hera i ---' but also that she calls him doug when she's 'talking' to him#but never directly never actually to him#i know not everyone will agree with me on this but i sincerely do think eiffel/hera is a canon romance it's just. an incomplete one#and something about that compels me very much.
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I always think about how in multiple episodes it's basically canon that Blanche is bi but considers dating women to be more hassle (which is a whole rabbit hole to go down - does she struggle with societal homophobia when she's with women? Has she only been with fellow high maintenance femmes when shes really after a Dorothy type? Has she internalized the idea that her attraction to women isn't 'real'? Her reaction to Clayton adds to these questions). Not to mention how this goes together with her relationships with the girls; making to kiss Rose that one time (and Rose multiple times seeming very aware of Blanche's proclivities), begging Dorothy for 'relief' and being convinced she's attracted to women too.
Yes, anon! It’s really interesting to delve into Blanche’s psyche about all this stuff!
I started writing down my thoughts and ended up with a long ramble -- allow me to place it all under a cut, so I don't clog up anyone's dash, haha.
Personally, I think she has some strong mental blocks when it comes to her sexuality because of the way she was brought up. I mean, she grew up in Atlanta approx in the 1930s/1940s — I’m sure I don’t have to detail the kind of casual bigotry she must have seen around her during her formative years! Just look at the story she recounts in S1E13 A Little Romance:
“Now, you have to understand that in those days in the South a lot of things were still taboo. Certain people were not to mix. So Benjamin and I had to meet in secret. Oh, we knew if any of the bigots in town found out about us, there’d be a terrible scandal.”
And all of this because Benjamin was a yankee… can you imagine what ‘the bigots in town’ thought about homosexuality? Yeah, I’m pretty sure Blanche learned to suppress that part of herself very early on. We know she turns to denial when she’s faced with uncomfortable truths and emotions she can’t deal with, so I think she likely just refuses to acknowledge that part of herself most of the time, and it only comes out (pun intended!) when she’s not paying much attention to things, or when there’s something more important going on. See the two examples you point out: when she tries to kiss Rose she’s concerned with not being kissed at midnight, and when she propositions Dorothy she’s, well… she’s desperate to get some, if we can be frank.
When she’s in a more rational state, her reactions tend to be more measured… but not by much. She does advise Rose not to date women (S3E10 The Audit):
“Oh, no, honey, don’t do that! No job is worth having to date women!”
But she’s also really flattered at receiving lots and lots of phone calls from women, after her appearance as a ‘lesbian’ on TV (S7E15 Goodbye, Mr Gordon):
“By the way, Dorothy, if I were a lesbian, I sure would be a popular one. Look at this, 20 calls.”
And of course we can’t forget her reaction to finding out that Jean has a crush on Rose in S2E5 Isn’t It Romantic?:
“Jean has the hots for Rose? I don’t believe it, I do not believe it! […] To think Jean would prefer Rose over me? That’s ridiculous! […] Now you tell me the truth: if you had to pick between Rose and me, who would you pick? Who?”
All of these are (likely) intended to be jokes about her vanity and her libertine nature (in the same way as Rose’s observations are), but considering a lot of the writers of this show were queer themselves, it wouldn’t seem strange to me if they were intentionally peppered in to suggest that Blanche might be a bisexual in denial. It certainly fits her character!
I haven’t spoken about her reaction to Clayton’s coming out yet, but that’s immensely interesting too, of course. I think Blanche has the same attitude towards homosexuality that I see in a lot of (mostly older) people in my Country nowadays: it’s fine as a general concept, but when it comes to her family (or, God forbid, herself) then the problems come out. See for example what she says about Jean:
“Well, I’ll never understand what Jean doesn’t see in the opposite sex, but if that makes her happy, that’s fine by me!”
Which isn’t a homophobic attitude at all! If anything, if you take her upbringing into account, it’s pretty accepting. But then, when Clayton comes out to her (S4E9 Scared Straight) and tells her he wants to get married (S6E14 Sister Of The Bride), this is what she says:
“Oh, Clayton, please be serious. You're just saying that so I won't set you up with any more women. […] Well, then you're saying it 'cause you're trying to get back at me for something. Clay, I know you too well for this. After all, I know it can't be true. You're my brother. […] Clayton Hollingsworth. You look me in the face and tell me you really are… what you just said you are.”
“I'm having a little trouble putting this all together. Clayton, I just feel like I don't know you anymore.”
“[…] Dorothy, that's different. We're talking about going out in public. Oh, what are people gonna say?”
“Will you tell me why you want to put yourself and Doug through this? You know how people can be.”
“Oh, look, I can accept the fact that he's gay, but why does he have to slip a ring on this guy's finger so the whole world will know?”
Quite the difference from her attitude towards Jean, wouldn’t you say? I think there’s three elements at play here.
1) When Clayton comes out to Blanche, she feels disoriented because this is life-changing information Clayton has never shared with her before. While her reaction as a whole isn’t ideal, personally I think it’s understandable. Clayton is her baby brother; she’s known him as straight all his life, he’s been married to a woman for years before his divorce, and she recounts an episode from their adolescence when he was on a date with a woman and very clearly implicated having a physical encounter with her. He's done everything in his power to pass as straight until this point in time -- I don't find it strange that Blanche would be shocked at his coming out, especially given her upbringing (and the fact that this is set in the 80s! We can't expect modern sensibilities from the characters!). Once again, her reaction isn't the best (she can't even bring herself to say the word 'gay' at first...), but the shock per se isn't that surprising, imho.
2) Blanche is scared because of societal implications above all. She doesn't necessarily see being queer as something wrong, but she's been taught it's not socially acceptable and acts accordingly. Notice how she's worried about what people are going to say, and she struggles to accept that Clayton wants the whole world to know about his relationship with Doug.
Societal expectations in general are a big theme for Blanche's character, and often drive her development; another big example of this is her attitude towards Rebecca's decision to get artificially inseminated, but it's a bit of a baseline issue for her, I feel. She has this whole thing about her beauty and her (supposed) youth and her attractiveness that has some inherent elements, but it's mostly an issue of how other people perceive her, I think, and her response to her brother's coming out is easy to relate to this theme. I mean, she even says it to Rose in S7E15:
"Well, I don't mind being labeled a lesbian, honey, but since I'm not, you just ruined my social life."
So yeah. I think it's safe to say her main concern is societal disapproval of queerness: she wants to be accepted and celebrated by the people around her, and she thinks that being openly queer will destroy her place in her social circle (and she's worried about the same happening to Clayton too, of course).
3) This is sort of related to point 2, but it felt distinct enough to treat it separately. I think she might have reacted so badly to Clayton's coming out (and especially to his showing up with a partner) because he's open about his sexuality, and she's not ready to face what that means for her. My lovely mutual @\hecatesbroom recently published her latest amazing work the odd one(s) out, on the relationship between Dorothy and her brother Phil and how Phil's open queerness might have impacted Dorothy; I think a similar situation might have occurred between Blanche and Clayton after his coming out.
Blanche has a sort of advantage on Dorothy because of her bisexuality, in the sense that she has 'passing privilege' (I really dislike this concept, but allow me to use it to make a point): it's painfully clear that she loved her late husband with all her heart, and she's obviously attracted to men as well, so she can pretend not to like women without too much of a hassle (whereas, if you believe Dorothy to be a repressed lesbian, her situation is much more complicated).
The issue with this is that this 'advantage' is a double-edged sword: she might have the comfort of being socially acceptable, but she's had to suffocate a big part of herself to obtain that comfort. And so, what happens when Clayton -- her baby brother Clayton, the one who's always been just like her, who's grown up with her same environment and influences -- begins openly living as a gay man? I'm sure the situation must have had a strong impact on her, even if just on a subconscious level; I've always found it curious that she seems to have a harder time accepting Clayton in S6E14 than she does in S4E9 (she even calls his sexuality a phase), and while a part of it may be attributed to the higher social exposure Clayton's commitment to Doug brings, I think this may be a result of her inner conflict, provoked by watching her brother live openly while she's been suppressing a part of herself all her life.
Here I'm assuming she's never acted upon her attraction to women before, but there's some space to believe she has done so and has decided it's too much of a hassle, as you say -- likely because she'd for sure do it in secret, given her fear of societal condemnation. If she has been with women before, and decided to give up on it, I still think she'd be greatly impacted by Clayton's coming out: it means her baby brother is a) braver than she is, and b) going to openly face (and likely suffer because of) the same social issues she's run away from. In this lens, I find it interesting that she cautions him about how people can be, almost as if they've both experienced it.
Whew. Wow, this was a lot more than I'd originally meant to write, haha! Seems you sparked a big train of thought, anon! I think all of the Girls (with the possible exception of Sophia) are really fascinating to analyze with a queer lens, and Blanche is always interesting to me, of course. As a final note, I'd like to point out that she does come around to Clayton's sexuality and his relationship, in the end: as often happens, she just needs the Girls' help to put things back in perspective, understand she's hurting someone she loves, and correct her actions. I'd like to think living with the Girls might lead to her becoming more accepting of herself, too.
#this was so much fun!! you helped me pass the time on about two and a half hours of train rides anon :)#this is... Long lmao. but are we surprised? i always end up talking at length#and this subject is Very interesting to me for obvious reasons so...#there's a lot more that could be said i think. all her homoerotic moments with the girls?#dancing with rose? playing pretend with dorothy?#and all the times sophia jokes about them? 'you couldn't stay in the closet for one more day'?#all fascinating stuff no matter how you look at it#i really think her homophobia stems from societal expectations honestly. she *never* expresses the opinion that being gay is wrong per se#she doesn't think it's unnatural or against god or anything like that. the worst thing she says is that 'phase' comment imho#she thinks it's *socially unacceptable*. which is a whole different thing#and considering blanche's whole thing with being accepted by society i feel like a queer in denial storyline really fits her character#like. think of even just this:#blanche devereaux. known for being libertine and unashamed of her sexuality (to the point of being labelled 'a slut').#often described as 'selfish' and 'self-centered'. focused on satisfying her desires and wishes at all times#this woman? having to deny a part of said desires for her entire life? the contrast is DELICIOUS to me#this big fear of societal disapproval was the angle i went with for my blanche/rose fic! it was set at the end of s2#so this was really all i could explore. but it would have been fun to throw clayton into the mix#i really think seeing him be so open about himself had a profound effect on her#oh look at me rambling in the tags too haha. excellent observations anon! thank you for sending this ask!#if you have any more thoughts i'd love to read them!!#oh and also -- when does blanche say she thinks dorothy's attracted to women?#i don't remember it and i'm *very* curious about it#the golden girls#blanche devereaux#golden wives#ask
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breakups are so fucking weird. three years and just like that it's gone. huh
#helix.txt#gross i ended up spilling my guts in tags. look at them fucking writhing on the floor all bloody#dont rb please#vent#to quote fall out boy i knew it was over i just didn't know the date#yeah that's it. fall out boy can fix this.#i will feel better if i go listen to bang the doldrums#and infinity on high in general#and folie a deux. folie a fucking deux how i love that album#my chem will make me better. gerard way save me#god what a weird feeling. you used to know me better than any other person but then you moved hundreds of miles away and it worked#for a while. then two years later you said it wasnt working and that this was best for both of us. guess i never got the memo for that one#hope we treat other people better because i wasn't as kind as i should have been towards the end and you were never as thoughtful or con-#-siderate as i needed towards the end. we grew apart because you're bad at keeping contact over messaging#and in some ways the cracks in the foundation that grew from that were my fault too i guess. our conversations always felt one sided#maybe i was smothering you#you could never seem to keep more than a passing recollection of the things i liked or even pay much attention to them#but i wasn't great about that either#we just became different people. you weren't what i wanted or needed and you couldn't do long distance. whatever#i know it was the right thing i just wish it hadn't made me feel so damn awful#will we still talk after this? who knows. we didn't end on bad terms but things are definitely weird#and considering your track record with people you can only talk to online i'm not optimistic#you tried to break things off initially by saying you'd said you would improve in the past with nothing to show for it#something i didn't disagree with but i said it didn't bother me much. and it didn't#but it's complicated now. i did deserve better. but you made it clear i'm not getting it from you#you weren't as present or thoughtful as i needed#i wasn't there in person the way you needed and certainly not as considerate as i should have been. and for that second part i'm truly sorr#anyways. sorry. i'd been thinking about it for a long time anyway. i didn't want to admit it because i didn't like to think#about what it might bring. maybe i should have been braver#right. that's enough
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this may have been obvious but I just realized beej probably sniffs Barbara and Adam's hair because he couldn't for years while they were alive
#way#day#beetlejuice#beetlejuice musical#woobification tag#either he always wanted to and finally did it OR he never realized they'd HAVE smells and when he noticed he couldn't help it#either way it's a neat detail to me because it's like. he's known them for years (they haven't) and it's the first time he's -#close to them with ALL five senses#maybe that is also why he is so touchy touchy with them also#he said it himself in fright if their lives he cannot interact with the world of the living whatsoever#so not only he couldn't smell the maits or talk to them or touch them... well yeah all if that. maybe he had forgotten the other senses#or maybe he missed them and wondered. for years wondered. what's it like to touch them?#and so he goes straight to kissing them and sitting on them 😭🥹🤧 because man. listen it's been rough#im sad that he wasn't frightened in the 22 one i saw but :(( also aaaaa i dont. like the make up sorry sorry#also he said instead of but thats ok i forgive him he can do no wrong i love him hes correct#talking about TWBDT pt2#headcanon#though it's pretty much canon anyway
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out of concern for not wanting to doxx us both, i won't say who specifically, but i just found out a big youtuber like. lives by me now, and shops at the same grocery store as me.
small world
#coworker's daughter works at the store and met them#said they were really nice!#but it was so funny bc my coworker was telling me about it and said their name and a synonym for their username bc he couldn't remember#and i was like#waIT? [NAME]???#small world#i dont watch a lot of their stuff i mostly know them from when they collab with other youtubers i like#but that's neat!#i dont know their face only their voice#and even if i did i would never bug someone at the grocery store#coworker's daughter happened to be his cashier lol#talking tag
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#tag talk#plot twist. I've learned how to admit I've made mistakes and he still loves me and everything is fine#even though I'm an absolute idiot sometimes I've grown to at least be able to admit it and be honest about being dumb#because this is the first time I've cut someone out and felt like it was a mistake and not a good choice#so I said so and was like “hey remember when I said my brain couldn't be trusted? yeah I was right”#at least I was up front months ago about being crazy girlfriend material. helps when I need to walk back dumb shit I say and do#having to come to grips with the fact that I'm sometimes an idiot is pretty rough though#I have a fortune cookie fortune saved in my wallet that says “it was when you learned to make mistakes that you knew you were onto somethin#and yeah. learning to accept that I fuck up sometimes is really important for me.#anyway I don't care if we never have good sex ever. I want someone who loves me and cares about me and who I love in return.#he sent me a dumb Instagram reel and it gave me the biggest smile. yeah we back Bois
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that awkward moment when ur watching a breakfast vlog you made last year only to see your late grandpa in the video
#if i didn't have a breakdown over (what i think is) separation anxiety last sunday i woulda cried now#real talk#rest in peace grandpa#i'll miss your sweetened crispy butter pandesal 😔#merry christmas too#ok actual minor vent in tags a little bit#one day while eating brunch with some of my parents friends whom i've never met before#my dad mentioned my grandpa's death#he said it was hard on my mom because he died days before her birthday#she had to celebrate her first birthday without him#she now had to celebrate christmas without him#but she's managing#meanwhile i overheard it and couldn't help but start to cry a little so i went to the bathroom#and then i stayed there for a bit to let the tears fall#after that i went out as if nothing happened#:(#vent#tw vent#oops i rambled in tags again
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What the ever-loving fuck am I ever saying to anyone?
Because whatever the hell it is, I sure as shit don't mean it.
#here we are with vinny's feelings vaguely disguising my own#several sucky things have happened in succession that've made me feel AWFUL and it's all cause I'm.. bad. at talking#I got blocked and did not understand what had happened til after I spent an hour meticulously apologizing then couldn't send it#I!!!! feel terrible!!!!!! I'd conducted myself SO POORLY this person thought I'd just go complain about them and forget it???#like no damn sorry I feel horrendous about this and probably will forever. I'm extremely sorry and I couldn't even tell you#I literally could not think about anything else for days.#I deleted our chat since I didn't want to obsess over every word I had ever said to them like I knew I would#cause there isn't really any recourse here that doesn't hurt them. I just hurt them and they'll never know how immensely sorry I am#I just. couldn't get over how they thought I never cared. that's been said to me in so many ways over the years and FUCK it hurts#I think it stung especially hard bc something similar but much more hurtful happened years ago#I dunno. then a couple other more mild instances of me being foolish occurred. it's been making me want to implode#how can I continue to do such awful things and not even realize what I've said before it's way too late#sigh sorry I did not want to go on like this it's going to stick with me for a while and probably not feel better for a long time if at all#guh. I looked at this sketch on the phone and you cannot see anything if you're on a low brightness as I am all the time. gotta fix that#also realized in the caption 'ever' is in there like 3 times and idk if that repetition sucks or kinda has a rhythm#how should I know! as we just established I am the WORST with words!#I FORGOT ALL MY TAGS#do I even want em here after this novel of wough#idk maybe when/if I come back to this n make it presentable it'll get proper tags
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