#i never rly had an interest in it before but for some reason my spite against cringe culture makes me wanna do it just cus ppl hate it sm

[psychiatric-warfare]

my partners love to dunk on furries (despite having no actual beef with them) and i am sososo tempted to make a fursona just because then they'll have to live with the fact that they're in a relationship with a furry

[subjecta5newtella]

thoughts on newtmas :) go on :) i’m listening :)

sami rly said ok time for violence. this is going to be so long sorry everyone.

if we’re talking newtmas itself as a ship in itself, outside of any other influence (and specifically in the movie version, which is generally what people are talking about), I think it’s a good ship. I would have to be the most unobservant motherfucker alive to not see what people see in it, and I am not, in fact, the most unobservant motherfucker alive. it’s a good dynamic with good chemistry and realistically I think if I’d started with the movies rather than the books, I would’ve gone all in for it.

however. I personally am incapable about talking about it in isolation.

I realize from that segue it sounds like I’m about to lead into some grand moral point, but mostly I just liked how dramatic it sounded. anyway. I feel like I need to start with a disclaimer that the easiest, simplest part of this is that you tend to get attached to your first ships in a fandom, as well as your initial feelings about the characters. obviously you can change your mind about any of those things, but it does stick with you. if we’re going to be kind and skip my internalized homophobia era (please be kind), I shipped thominho and nalby because that’s what was big at the time. I also just... did not like book thomas very much, so I wasn’t about to ship him with my favorite character.

(complete and utter tangent: it’s interesting to me that people read the books now and overwhelmingly see newtmas. I recognize that every time I start a sentence with “it’s interesting that” it automatically sounds shady, but i genuinely just love Analyzing. anyway some of it’s definitely people seeing the movie first or having fandom content as a first exposure even in passing, all of which are valid ways to engage, but I do kind of find it fascinating when people talk about book!newtmas as some massive presence because then... theoretically we all should’ve seen it pre-movies? the ship existed, usually among people who hardcore multishipped, but it wasn’t anything like it is today. not at all to say that reading it like that is invalid, it’s just interesting to me the way some people talk about that interpretation, rather than the interpretation itself)

anyway. with that all out of the way, i do have some actual issues with newtmas, although it really doesn’t have anything to do with the characters or the ship itself. these are things that surround the ship and affect my feelings about it, meaning that I never bought in despite, like I said, Seeing It. my main issue with it is how much the roles of other characters have been reduced to create the ship in its current form. I’ve talked at far too much length about the way minho was adapted and honestly will probably talk about it more, because that’s the big one to me (that post can be found here, for those who don’t keep up with every rant I’ve ever gone on for some reason). I will not go so far as to say that’s required reading to fully understand this post, but I would recommend it since I don’t want to just repeat myself. so much of newtmas being the major ship feels like it’s predicated on minho not being there and not having anywhere near as strong a relationship with thomas and newt as he did in the books, and that will never sit right with me.

newt’s relationship with alby is his other most significant dynamic outside thomas and minho, and i feel like it might be surprising to hear me say this, but i get why that one was reduced for the movie. there’s only so much time in the film, so you want to focus on the characters who are going to make it past the first one. I do have a problem here, but it has more to do with dashner and with some fandom bullshit. with dashner, i think the crank palace is the worst of it (I could’ve just stopped that sentence at “I think the crank palace is the worst” but whatever). since all my rants lead back to each other, I’ll link the relevant one here, but the general gist is that my biggest problem was that newt does not seem to have any more of a post-swipe past than thomas does despite theoretically having two more years of memories. given that fact, I don’t know about you, but I would kind of expect alby to be more of a presence in his consciousness. that’s true of pretty much any of the original gladers, but newt and alby are clearly very close in the first book, and again, alby saved his fucking life. he’s literally mentioned once. dashner prioritized the newt/thomas dynamic so much that newt seemingly had no meaningful relationships with anyone else. tcp isn’t immune to treating minho badly either; like I said in that post, it sounds like newt read the wikipedia page on minho. is any of this the fault of the ship itself? does this change anything that came before it? no, but the whole thing feels massively disingenuous, and also kind of disrespectful to people who actually, like, gave a shit about the other characters. also, the way he’s retconning makes me real nervous.

the other part, like I mentioned, is the fandom more than any of the actual content. I’m aware that part of this is just a statistics game and also that’s it’s not representative of all newtmas shippers, but most of the alby bashing I’ve seen comes from newtmas people. it’s... baffling to me, honestly. what’s the point in putting down a ship being kept alive by me and like 3 other people? what do you gain by misrepresenting a character to the point of maliciousness when you could easily just not engage with them? again, I know it’s not everyone and it doesn’t have anything to do with the ship, but I’d be lying if I said things like this don’t color my perception. if someone goes out of their way to put down a ship I like, I’m not really gonna want to associate myself with their ship. I’m gonna cling to my own harder out of spite, actually.

also.... okay. so I peaced out to go do other shit between earlyish 2015 and mid 2019. and it was very weird to temporarily leave the fandom while the two main (in my recollection at least, which could be biased by who i was friends with) mlm ships each included one of the explicitly non-white characters, and come back to find it almost entirely dominated by white boy/white boy... like. I don’t wanna make a statement as simple as “the fandom is racist” because a) it’s not my place to say that, b) if we want to go into that, there are other examples of fandom racism where it’s Blatant and there really is no excuse, whereas this is a bit more complicated imo because c) like. that’s the dynamic the movies gave us. the movies focused very heavily on the newt and thomas dynamic, so of course that’s what the fandom is going to focus on. there’s a lot to say there, but that’s a different issue. it does.... still contribute to the bad taste in my mouth, though, and also contributes to me feeling like I need to keep those ships alive. it’s not about who has the Most Progressive Ship, I just feel weird about the particular shift I’ve seen here.

on a note that sounds less like I’m leveling accusations, New Relationships just aren’t my vibe. you look at my ao3 and it’s like. friends of many years to lovers. established relationship. friends to lovers to exes and back again. just from a dynamics perspective, there are other ships that are more interesting for me to explore. there. this is a lighter reason.

idk overall I don’t wanna sound like I’m on some Moral Crusade here, even though i know some of my points made it sound like that. this is really just me putting all of my thoughts that I can currently round up in one place in order to... idk, explain myself? and like it’s stupid that i feel the need to explain myself, but I know it’s weird not to ship it at this point, and I know if I did I would have so much more content to choose from and a much wider audience for my own content. there’s just baggage there thats entirely separate from the ship itself, having seen the shift and knowing what had to change in order to center newtmas. I’m not trying to sound like I’m better than anyone; I just think maybe I have a different perspective on things having been here for long enough to qualify it as a new mental illness, and that’s ultimately why I feel the way I do.

[angeltrapz]

SAW ask time 💚 wld love to hear abt chainshipping + Adam bein autistic— maybe like what Lar notices abt Adam’s stims, things he does for him/ways he helps when Adam needs it. Also for Eric/Adam, maybe any thoughts on Eric finally like.. realizing he’s got a special interest?? ik we’ve talked abt how hard he masks but bein around Adam (n Mallick) helps him relax abt that, so like maybe how does he react + what is th special interest? anything u wanna dish abt!

thank u it’s always SAW ask time in my heart <33

!!! I was just thinkin abt tht!!! our minds 💫

I think th first time he rly sees Adam stimming (i.e. flapping his hands) he’d be like “what’s that?” but not in a rude way - genuinely a tone of “I want 2 know more abt this thing, pls tell me” rather than anything anywhere near condescending/annoyed/mean-spirited like Adam has dealt w fr YEARS at this point. so he’s definitely put on edge a lil bit bc he can’t help it, maybe he starts to like wind down and force himself into quiet hands, but Lawrence is immediately like “no I wasn’t making fun of you!! u don’t have to stop doing it!” which kinda stops Adam short like. what r we doing here. usually when ppl ask me tht they’re also telling me 2 stop. finally Lawrence says “I was just wondering what kind of stim tht was,” like he didn’t almost (accidentally) uproot Adam’s whole shit + is currently Doing So Now by using actual terms tht Adam didn’t know he knew, n so he like takes a moment to absorb tht comment n then he’s like. “oh. it means I’m happy or excited?” and honestly? when Lawrence hears tht? he’s like “oh... so then you’re rly happy? 🥺” n it’s just like. a moment fr both of them lol. (Adam feels Much safer discussing things after tht too, in several ways. it definitely helps w building trust between them!!)

after that though Lawrence definitely takes notice of more things! he’s not afraid 2 ask questions, so tht’s smth tht’s rly good fr them - Lawrence being able to seek information (he also does his own reading + research) to better understand, n not in tht shitty mommy blogger “I know yr in there somewhere” way. he doesn’t want 2 change Adam. he wants a better grasp on wht Adam’s experiences r like so he can help n minimize stress abt certain things. fr Adam tht’s definitely like.. foreign territory, bc as u’ve mentioned b4 + my personal hc as well, his parents didn’t really care 2 get him formally diagnosed + even acted like there was No Way he cld be neurodivergent in any sense, so 2 have some1 who is interested n respectful is So important 2 him. (personal hc time: I hc Adam as both adhd AND autistic like me so there’s tht!!)

so like he takes notice of th way Adam likes 2 roll things btwn his fingers (shirt sleeves, shirt hems, hoodie drawstrings, blankets, soft fabrics he likes the texture of, etc.) n is just like Oh Idea. I like 2 think he gets Adam one of those bead lanyards (like this one, which I also have!) fr him to fidget w n he kind of presents it like “I thought maybe u wld like smth like this?” n honestly he’s a lil nervous abt what Adam is going 2 say. but Adam takes it n holds it fr a minute, rolling th beads n messing w th lanyard itself 2 kind of test it, n he just looks up n smiles n he’s like “I love this. u’ve been paying tht much attention??” n fr Lawrence it’s just like “yes? of course? bc I love u?” like it’s th simplest thing in th world n Adam’s just. Huh. no he does Not tear up, if Lawrence told u tht he’s lying. he’s just Rly not used 2 ppl who want 2 know more without wanting to “get inside his head” or belittle him fr it (ties into my hc tht fr th most part, Adam hasn’t rly had any Good friends...) so it takes a lil getting used to.

another thing!! Lawrence does is ask 2 listen 2 Adam infodump abt his special interests - esp photography!! like they do this thing where if it’s not too late at night by th time Lawrence comes home frm work, Lawrence will take a quick shower n then get into his pajamas n into bed (just fr some quiet quality time b4 they go to bed, bc he still tends 2 come home a bit late), n he’ll have Adam sit next 2 him n he’ll be like “what do u want to tell me?” bc tht’s another thing tht Adam was entirely unused 2 - having ppl who didn’t just tolerate his infodumping, they wanted to hear it. Lawrence might be th first person to not actually give him shit fr it/tell him he’s being annoying/shut him down completely. again, it takes Adam a lil bit to b fully comfortable w it, but once he is he adores having tht time to be excited abt things w another person! who he knows Wants to listen!! (if we’re going th route I personally like 2 think abt sometimes too, where Lawrence is autistic as well, I feel like they infodump back n forth abt photography n medical stuff. do either of them rly know what the other is saying? not rly. are they listening happily bc that’s their partner n it’s smth they’re excited abt? oh absolutely!)

I think Adam has a tendency to eat a lot of th same foods bc they’re safe n he knows he likes them/doesn’t mind their texture (which is a big issue w trying new foods fr him), which is smth tht Lawrence also takes note of and as such, he likes 2 make sure they’re regularly stocked up on at least some of tht stuff. it’s not even smth he tells Adam he’s doing, bc it’s rly tht simple 2 him - Adam likes these things n therefore we shld have them at th house - but fr Adam it’s just One Of Those Things, y’know?? he got so much shit as a kid fr being such a “picky eater” n got shit fr it as a teenager too bc “why don’t u ever try anything new??” was smth his friends/parents Loved 2 say. it’s th fact tht Lawrence rolls w it so easily, doesn’t poke or prod for reasons he eats th way he does, and doesn’t get upset w him fr it/try 2 force him into things he isn’t comfortable w. it means a lot to him, more than he’ll ever have words 2 say (but he does always kiss Lawrence’s cheek when he gets back frm th store n he sees some of his same foods, which is just as good). it’s loving tht he’s autistic because it’s a part of him, a fact, not despite or in spite of. tht’s what’s so nice n kind of healing abt it; feeling safe 2 express yrself as u are w a partner who u know u can trust. who maybe words questions a bit funny sometimes, completely unintentionally, not out of malice (where allistic Lawrence is concerned, anyway). Adam feels Safe, n tht means a lot 2 him.

as fr ways he helps him!! a big thing is tht Lawrence is observant, esp as they spend more n more time together. a lot of th time, even when it’s just th two of them alone, Adam might have trouble maintaining eye contact fr an extended period of time, n Lawrence might not know how much it Actually helps, but he doesn’t mind tht Adam doesn’t always look at his face when they’re talking. it’s smth tht takes a little getting used 2, but he was never shitty about it w Adam. the way he sees it is if it makes Adam more comfortable, why shld he get upset abt it? it’s not like he doesn’t know when Adam’s talking 2 him anyway, or tht he can’t tell if Adam is listening; Lawrence knows both of those things, so Adam not making eye contact isn’t a problem, y’know? it’s okay. n I rly don’t know if Lawrence is fully aware of how much Adam appreciates tht.

another thing is he’s patient + understanding when Adam is nonverbal, whether it be bc he’s having a shutdown/meltdown, sensory overload, or just plain Difficulty w speech. it kinda depends on what I’m writing at th time, but I feel like Adam might have picked up at least a lil bit of sign language here n there; mostly simple phrases tht get th point across. I like 2 think Lawrence learns what they mean so he can take tht stress off of Adam’s shoulders, but most times, Adam is just comfortable sitting in silence w someone he cares abt.

OH brief thing Lawrence is RLY good at helping w pressure stims. he gives amazing bear hugs n I feel like he’d also probably let Adam lay on him if they’re on th couch/in bed. I just Feel It.

-

OHH I think abt Eric finally developing a special interest now tht he feels more comfortable w doing so a lot. honestly I kind of rly like th idea tht his special interest might be info abt rats! it kind of hits him when he catches himself writing down lil facts (tht might not even be related to pet care!) in his notebook so he’ll remember them + always being excited 2 learn more n share what he’s learned. it makes Adam SO happy to see him being comfortable w tht aspect of himself, esp now that he’s safe to explore it w ppl who understand n who won’t discourage him/belittle him for it,, Mallick too of course, but Adam knows how much Eric struggled w tht kind of thing for such a long time so he’s just. Ah. 🥺🥺

like they’ll all b chilling on th couch (Eric, Mallick, n Adam) n Eric will have his head against Adam’s shoulder while his hand is on Mallick’s chest, who has HIS head in Eric’s lap w his legs dangling off th armrest, n he’ll be like “did u know tht when rats r happy, they grind their teeth together? it’s called bruxing n then sometimes their eyes move in their sockets rly fast while they’re doing it. tht’s called boggling.” n Adam will be smiling so wide when he says he didn’t know tht but it’s rly cool!! n then Mallick will start asking questions n he n Adam just listen while Eric infodumps fr probably th very first time since he was very very young, before it was masked out of him by his parents. n he finds tht he Doesn’t feel so bad abt it anymore, not when he’s around ppl who want him to be happy and want to see him be happy - esp ppl who encourage it n let him know it isn’t smth he has to hide/keep locked away. it’s hard 2 b ashamed of himself when Adam n Mallick r looking at him w genuine interest in their eyes n so so much love.

he might still like, slip back into masking behaviour every now n then, bc it’s something he’s still dealing w n learning 2 leave behind, but after he discovers his first special interest it gets a little easier, letting go of that way of life. it was smth he was forced into by adults who didn’t actually want th best for him like they said they did when they put him through “therapy,” but w partners he knows understand n who are even autistic themselves, Eric slowly learns 2 be more comfortable w it. it’s slow, but it’s progress. bit of a learning curve. he’ll get there.

[shibalen]

💥hewwo can I pwease get a romantic male matchup for bnha (darkbox bc I live for angst) (music box) when you have the time uwu

Levi he/him gay entp supposedly (also if it's not too much to ask please no characters under the age of 18 please)

I've been described as having a strong and loud personality, I'm extroverted and outspoken. I'm pretty eccentric too.

I value friendship, kindness and standing up for others.

Goal wise I'm pretty aimless. I dont have any goals, if I die well I guess that's it babey. In the meantime I'm just here to help animals and people who need it.

Positive traits: I always stick up for people in need, I'm good at reading people, I'm good with animals, I love to make people smile and laugh, cheerful, good at talking my way out of bad situations, uhm. Friendly!

Negative traits would be: hot headed, loud, stubborn, arrogant, comes across as intimidating:( good at getting into bad situations, gets into fights very often. Can be spiteful, I've been described as a pyromaniac so theres that. Can be sadistic

What pisses me off: my father. I can and will cause trouble for that man for as long as I live. And people who pick on the weak.

My hobbies and interests areeee: true crime babey! Crying over video games, baking, the occult, taking naps, dream interpretations and tarot readings

Likes: animals, cats specifically, stars, fire, sunsets, supposedly haunted places, storms, being dramatic for the hell of it, tormenting people in a good hearted way

Dislikes: uhhhh hot weather I guess.

Quirks: uh I have 5 cats! Ones my fathers but he never takes care of his cat so i pretty much count him as my own (plus he likes me more than my dad and it pisses my dad off hehe) I have weirdly accurate intuition, it makes reading people easy, knowing what they want to hear and what they dont.

Uhhh dates and relationship wise I'm honestly happy doing whatever my s/o wants to do. All I want is to see their face light up.

My love language is physical touch, I dont like touching people but if it's someone I feel strongly about youd have to pry me away from them.

I once got kicked out of a library for starting a fight in it, trashy I know but I wasnt going to stand there and do nothing while my friends were being bullied and pressured into getting involved with a really dodgy man. I scared the bullies off for good at least B) they never bothered my friend again babey

Oh I'm also known around the area I live in as someone who's good at finding homes of lost pets. Often times I come across a lost animal and befriend it in no time and use my connections to find its family.

Sorry if this was rly long and thank you for your time!! I hope you have a fantastic day uwu if anything's too difficult to come up with ideas for I'm more than happy for you to change anything to make it easier for you too!

♡︎ matchup for anon

heya! here i am with another late matchup but i hope you still see this. i'm sorry about the delay (╯_╰)

bnha: i match you with . . .

natsuo todoroki !!

• this was one of those "heureka!" moments for me. you both hate your dads and hot weather? it's a match made in heaven! okay jk, these are just nice add-ons.

• what really made me consider Natsuo were your values and personality. kindness and friendships are important to both of you. Natsuo's a medical student so i am convinced helping others is high on his priority list too. he loves your driven and passionate nature because he doesn't go sugarcoating bs either.

• you're definitely the more energetic one while Natsuo only gets hot-headed about the things that are the most important to him. i think it's a good compromise, you can help each other out :)

• he was a little taken aback and cautious of your explosiveness at first but warmed up to it quickly after learning what a kind person you really were. now he thinks your dramatic attitude is funny during your sillier moments ٩(◕‿◕｡)۶

• speaking of, you lads met at an animal shelter. there had been a dog that was astray in the neighbourhood of his home, so Natsuo, being a responsible boyo, took it to the local shelter.

• then there you were, standing by the help desk with five kittens wrapped in your jacket in your arms. apparently someone had been trying to drown them so you'd taken care of the situation accordingly.

• Natsuo understood jumping into a lake to rescue the poor animals because he would have done the same, but you could have had just called the police?? it was extremely ridiculous but admirable at the same time to beat all those guys up.

• your chat turned into a pleasant conversation afterwards as you were waiting for the animals to finish their check-ups. Natsuo was a bit shy but you didn't mind and kept the chat going which he appreciated.

• later he volunteered to help you look for good homes for the animals you'd both found. during this project the two of you got to know each other quite well and ended up hanging out together afterwards!

• and from that point on, everything fell into place naturally. the growing spark between you was undeniable and you both knew it. Natsuo definitely liked you longer, he was just a lil dense about it . . .

• you're nothing short of a hero in his eyes but dear lord he worries for you. when he's attending lectures he sometimes can't help but wonder if you're all right and not getting involved in anything violent.

• attends to your possible injuries while nagging you not to be so quick to start a fight next time. in return, you playfully bully him for being such a mom.

• you join forces with Fuyumi to pick on him about your relationship. even though you're already together, soft Natsuo still blushes when his affection for you is brought up, it's entertaining for both you and Fuyumi.

• idk if you've heard but Natsuo's 181cm tall!! hugging someone has never been easier even if you happen to be taller than him. the only thing is his skin's naturally kind of chilly so he's lowkey worried if you dislike it but you always assure him he's perfect!

• one time he was stressed over exams so you baked him some blueberry muffins. he gave you the biggest hug and kiss because it's exactly all these little things you do that set his heart racing for you ♡︎

• "last night i saw a dream about being a frog and eating giant flies, it was gross."

• "oh, that just means your love life is about to become fun."

• "i'm not sure how those two are related."

• "just trust me. i'm a pro at this."

• he also likes giving you headpats as much as he likes receiving them! his hands are quite big so he often runs his fingers through your hair when you're cuddling or hugging. it's especially relaxing after a long period of studying. also him carring you on his broad back ԅ(￣ε￣ԅ)

• you enjoy the little things in life and complain about your fathers together. you've agreed to wait a while before even mentioning your relationship to them because, honestly, Natsuo doesn't want any more horrible influences in your life.

• you get him sucked into the world of video games. it's always fun to watch him struggle but he never gets salty about losing maybe a lil he adores your smile as you laugh at him for being so bad at them.

• your dates include: helping out at animal shelters and retirement homes, video game and movie nights (especially about true crime), arcades and astronomy tower explorstions. i feel like Natsuo's more into traditional, romantic and chill dates and that's your usual thing. though i see sometimes you going to get coffee and ending up solving a 50-year-old murder case instead (✧ω✧)

❦︎ ink box

— despite Natsuo's best efforts to distance himself from Endeavor, it wasn't quite as easy and everyone was very much aware of the Todoroki family. and now the son of the number 1 hero had a lover.

— it wasn't actually that troublesome at first. some newpaper paparazzi occasionally annoyed you but you didn't care for them. most of the time Natsuo and you had your peace during dates aside from a few casual fans.

— but of course there are all sorts of people out there, some out for revenge, some for money, and being desperate means using even the lowest of methods to get what you want.

— so one time it happened, and it was all that took. several bitter villains thought they'd get their revenge through you, silly as it may sound. they made a big show of kidnapping you and demanding Endeavor to 'make up' for his wrongdoing. but all got resolved thanks to heroes, the only casualty being Natsuo's heart from almost exploding from worry and his deepening hatred for his father.

— later on, it wasn't that Natsuo was worried about you not being able to handle yourself, he feared what might happen if more of powerful villains came after you.

— so, after some debate, you agreed not to meet up for a short while to let the fuse of the incident settle down. it would be safer once the media forgot about it. you still texted and chatter over phone though!

— but then a week turned into two weeks, then into a month. you were wondering what was taking Natsuo to say the coast was clear and did a straight-up inquiry through a video chat.

— you could see he was restless the entire time. he said you should wait longer just to be sure everything was calm before meeting up. you became irritated because he was obviously lying and not being his normal, brutally honest self.

— why was he giving you this crap straight to your face?

— truthfully, Natsuo hadn't been sleeping all right recently. ever since that day he had reoccurring nightmares about something awful happening to you. they were just dreams, he knew. yet considering his ruffled up past and the frequency of those horrible visions, it would have been lie to say he was unaffected.

— paranoia just wouldn't leave him alone, and no matter how much he wanted to hold you in his arms again and hated making up stupid excuses, the voice at the back of his mind whispered this was for the best.

— after a month and a half had passed you've had just about enough, however. whatever reason he was keeping you in the dark for did no longer stop you from crashing into his house and demanding the truth.

— Natsuo knew you and expected this to eventually happen. after you made such a powerful entrance though he also knew there was no getting around it this time. really, it was comforting knowing you cared so deeply.

— he told you exactly what had been happening and you resisted the urge to punch him in the arm for having such a mindset. but the look in his beautiful grey eyes was so heartbreaking you threw yourself to embrace him instead. your touch was everything Natsuo had craved for for all this time.

— you skillfully assured him for the next couple of hours while keeping the talk light-hearted (he had obviously been overthinking way too much already). soon enough the issue was resolved and you had a sleepover right there to make uo for the lost time (Shoto and Fuyumi kept eavesdropping on you because y'all were being way too loud in a cute way).

— "i love you, Natsu, but if you ever keep something like this a secret from me again, i can't guarantee the safety of your arm or your front door."

♫︎ music box

— If I Had An Airplane by SayWeCanFly

— This December by Rick Montgomery

— Round & Laundry from Carole and Tuesday

— Haven't Had Enough by Marianas Trench

— Bowie On The Radio by Ryan McMullan

♡︎ runner up: Dabi / Touya Todoroki

thank you for requesting, hopefully you enjoyed this! i'm really pleased about matching you with Natsuo, it's just so perfect. have a lovely day and remember to take care of yourself ♡︎

[itsybitsyspiderling]

happy ffwf! what’s your favorite scene from the most recent fic you’ve posted? drop it and some promo for your fic below!! -ambivalentmarvel

happy ffwf @ambivalentmarvel !! omg i’m rly glad u asked this question on this day in particular because the last fic i wrote was “an old man and a bird walk into a bar” and it’s just 3k of domestic sambucky banter lol

this scene is long, hence the read more lol but i wanted to include all of it!!

Bucky felt ridiculous. And it didn’t help that Sam had repeatedly told him that he looked ridiculous as well. Cufflinks weren’t Bucky’s style, neither were bowties or large gatherings for that matter. So, when they found themselves in the middle of an extravagant gala in search of some no-name target, formalities were all that mattered. There was no such thing as a comfort zone, although Bucky was dramatically beyond his.

Sam flaunted his formal wear as if he had been born in it. Black tie served him well; meanwhile, Bucky’s neck had been rubbed raw from how often he picked at his collar, and his jacket was a size too small.

“You’re shaking like a damn dog,” Sam stated, handing him a flute of champagne. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Other than the fact that my bladder has been full for four hours,” Bucky began as he peered around the room, “I absolutely hate everything about this. Are you enjoying yourself? Because I’m suffocating. My jacket is too tight.”

Sam smirked and sipped his champagne delicately. He was still running off of the adrenaline from wiping Bucky’s ass at poker, and he thrived off of his partner’s discomfort as well. Champagne had never tasted better than it did at this moment.

“And you, of all people, were the world’s deadliest assassin,” Sam muttered. He kept his guard up in the presence of a hundred socialites and billionaires, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t cut the bullshit on the down-low. “Can’t blend in and look like a rich kid for two seconds—always having to be the center of attention.”

“I would be a lot less uncomfortable if this place had bathrooms,” Bucky said.

Sam huffed. “You even know how to use a zipper?”

“I’m like, seventy years older than you.”

“Well, I’m just sayin’—you couldn’t figure out how a bowtie worked earlier, so it wouldn’t shock me if—”

“Can I interest you men in some shrimp tartlet?” asked a waitress as she sidled up with a warm smile. If he wasn’t so concentrated on his discomfort, Bucky would have turned on the charm for her. At the moment, that was Sam’s area of expertise.

He returned her smile. “Well, don’t mind if I do,” he murmured, winking while he reached for the bite-size appetizer. “What d’ya say, Buck? You want a shrimp tartlet?”

Bucky smiled as well, nodding as he said, “I hate you,” through his teeth. He reached over with his left arm, and a small ripping sound caused him to pull it right back. “Uh—actually, I’m allergic. T-to shellfish. Thanks. Sorry.”

The waitress nodded, smiling again before walking away. Once she was gone and out of earshot, Bucky muttered out a sharp, “shit” as Sam stared at him with raised brows.

“The hell?” Sam said. “Are you having a stroke? What’s up with you?”

Bucky didn’t answer verbally—instead, he turned his body to show Sam the sole reason for his strange reaction. A lovely tear right down the back of his sleeve.

“I told you,” he began, “my jacket is too tight.”

“Would you look at that, Mister Metal Arm—” Sam chuckled. “Better than an ass tear, I’ll tell you that. Like I said, always have to be the center of attention.”

Bucky sighed and faced the room once again. Unfriendly faces were too concentrated on their own uptight, snobby conversations to care about him, yet in his mind, he stuck out like a sore thumb. “I wasn’t given lessons in how to act natural.”

“They didn’t teach you that at HYDRA prep school?”

“I learned more about how to properly set a broken bone than how to blend in,” he told him. “And how come you’re so comfortable with it, huh? I thought you were more of a soldier than a spy.”

“It has nothing to do with my comfort levels, Buck,” Sam said against the lip of his champagne flute. He shrugged. “It’s simple—I’m just better than you. And if you choose to think otherwise, that’s fine. I’m not the one with toothpaste on their lapel.”

“I—what?” Bucky craned his neck back to look at his collar. When he glanced back up, Sam had fallen into a small fit of laughter before hitting Bucky’s arm.

“Made you look,” Sam said. “But seriously. Go pee. You’re making me anxious. And take off that damn jacket.”

Bucky hummed and handed Sam his champagne flute. “No, actually. I think I’ll keep it on to spite you. Don’t drink that.”

“Wouldn’t even dream of touching the same glass as your crusty lips.”

“Keep telling yourself that.”

[butterfly--empress]

Crazy MLB Thoughts...

Or shit I would sort of want to see but after watching Seasons 2 and 3 doubt highly will happen nor do I trust the writers to be substantially confident in making a cohesive story that doesn’t fall at the rails.

The fact that they seem to like making Miraculous Ladybug Episodic when it really should be a Serialize show, tells me all I need to know to NOT but much faith in what they do. 

But I’ve been surprised before but...GREAT DOUBT (I’m trying really hard not to tl:dfr the essay about my...gripes with MLB on a whole because writing that...we’ll be here all day. ALL DAY)

anyways moving on;

1. Adrien and Felix are either step siblings or identical twins and someone lying about who’s the real baby daddy/baby momma and both sisters are in on it. 

2. Both sisters are in on EVERYTHING...and prob share everything and Gabe is none the wiser. Don’t make that face at me fam, Ya’ll come up with very interesting poly ships...DON’T @ ME! XD

Look at their fucking Maiden Name; without some translation; Vanily? If that shit don’t sound too damn close to Villain IDKWTF does! XD

But seriously, the name has various meanings which all boil down to, deceit and moral ambiguity. I don’t put nothing passed nobody.

I seen what the animators were doing; trying to paint Amelie in Black while Emilie is dressed in White. See, that symbolism of trying to make me think Amelie is a bad twin to Emilie’s good twin because of how Gabe sees her. But I like to think the reality is more of the opposite if...IF Emilie’s really a big bad. 

3a. Emilie is more antagonistic than Gabriel but actually loves her son and husband.

3b. Emilie could also just be full calculating evil and all of Adrien’s ‘memories’ of his loving mother could be of his Aunt Amelie instead...

4. The whole ass episode of Felix had me like: I watched one too many damn K-Dramas to know that anytime rich families act like this around each other; it usually involves birth secrets and the fact that someone was getting it on with the ‘wrong’ somebody...or the right somebody. 

Look, all I’m saying is, Gabe is def the father and most likely the father of Felix but Adrien could...maybe...actually...be...Amelie’s kid for some unfounded reason and no one’s saying anything about it. (no way in the 7 HELLS do cousins look identical like that unless the creators just felt spiteful for some reason and rehashed a scraped character design...)

Don’t look at me like that Fam! I cannot be the only one who thought there were a lot of secrets not being shared/said in this episode! If ya’ll can theorized about Sentimonsters, I can theorized about  Agreste/Graham de Vanily family drama. 

5. Audrey and Tomoe might have a bitter rivalry/partnership/something with Emilie and Gabriel. I feel like something happened for Tomoe to be all; ‘I don’t need friends, they’re a disappointment’. 

6. Fam! Ya’ll have got to chill with the ‘Character X is a Sentimonster theories’, come on that’s weak writing fam. FAM we’re better than this!

7. Marinette will finally get to tone down on her crush/obsession for Adrien WITHOUT having to be with *coughusecough* Luka.

8. Adrien as Chat Noir will finally get to tone down on his crush/obsession for Ladybug WITHOUT having to with *coughusecough* Kagami because she vaguely makes him think about Ladybug....Yea I said it. 

I believe Adrien only tries to move on with Kagami because she’s the closest thing that reminds him of his Idealistic view of Ladybug and not really for Kagami herself. which isn’t fair to Kagami...jfc I said I was NOT going to tl:dfr this post....ahh too fucking late now!

Sure, Adrien admires her but I don’t think he really truly likes the girl in that way. Out of Order Episodes or not, that boy can’t go 5 mins without going nuts over his precious M’Lady. XD

9. I just rather there NOT be this extra baggage of a love triangle and I just would like for ONCE to get through a season without feeling 2nd hand embarrassment over the cringy shit Marinette does to get Adrien’s attention.

Before you try to go ham on me LadyNoir/Adrinette/Marichat/Ladrien (GODDAMN THIS FUCKING OTP) shippers hear me out: I am not saying I don’t want the love square..THE ORIGINAL LOVE SQUARE OF really two loves in like/lust/future love unknowingly with each other to end.

I WILL FUCKING GO DOWN TO THE DEPTHS OF HELL FOR THIS SHIP!

But I do want less cringe, there’s so much I can take of Marinette learns not to be petty and seems to grow up a bit for the NEXT damn episode to reset like that shit didn’t happen....boi..i’m about to rant about the writing...

10. EPISODES WILL NOT BE SHOWN OUT OF ORDER!!

11. EPISODES WILL NOT BE SHOWN OUT OF ORDER!!

12. Season 4 will be consistent with it’s plot driven story and continuity...we can only pray.

13. When old Gabby Moth gets redeemed (not if but when...hey i’m trying to be marginally realistic here) the story for it, isn’t weak asf and doesn’t feel forced. Even though its going to feel forced...unless Emilie really does turn out to be that bad bitch and shows she cares more for power over her family and dismisses Gabriel...only for him to wisen up that his wife really isn’t a saint and realize too late that Nathalie was always there for him...FUCK I just made myself sad..I’m sad....

14. Astruc is really being a troll and Chloe actually gets a redemption...maybe too much to ask for?

15. Meanwhile Lila FUCKING Rossi can eat ass I don’t like that hoe. 

16a. Marinette will not try to carry the huge/sudden burden of being the guardian...(yea..THANKS FU FOR THAT BTW...*coughshitguardianmentormotherfuc...coughs*) ah Mari will not try to carry this heavy ass burden on her lonesome and actually lets those she chooses to give Miraculous too, KEEP THEM THIS TIME...ya know..so it’s more convenient for them to help her and Chat Noir when they need assistance.  While she maybe the Guardian, she will allow Chat Noir to share her burden with her. 

16b. Chat Noir will play more of an equal role alongside Ladybug and not be kept in the dark. ISTG RN; if Mari, after telling Fu she doesn’t want to keep anything from the guy that is supposed to be her number 1 partner...in the fucking dark...this whole ass website is going to feel my wrath for days on in. 

no more of this ‘pushing Chat Noir to the sidelines and keeping him in the dark’ more than Hawkmoth trying to use their trust for each other against them, distrust and lies is the fastest way for him or some other big bad to win.

Also I just REALLY want the gang to keep their miraculous. 

17. Probably going to get flack for this but I really want to see Chloe/Luka happen or at least some form of interaction between them. 

I don’t mind the Lukagami Ship but it rly feels like a forced pair the spares to sideline them away from Adrienette and I rly can’t see it. I mean I can but I think Chloe/Luka would make for something more interesting. 

18. Felix NOT becoming a big bad, because wow do we really need ALL of Adrien’s fam being coo-coo for coca puffs?? especially if Emilie is as worse than her husband 

19 the other side characters get to actually develop.

20...Was there something else??? Probably but I’m tired and can’t think outside of really wanting a kind and just Emilie Fucking Agreste and also wanting the Bitch Mother of all mothers from hell Emilie FUCKING Agreste, while also wanting a lil of both.

And now unable to decide WHICH Emilie Fucking Agreste to write about in my two AUs because where at first i wanted sweet innocent Emilie fucking Agreste, now I want cunning, ambitious gets what she wants behind a sweet demeanor, you’ll never see her striking, Emilie Fucking Agreste!

While good!Emilie Agreste would be simple and easy to write for...my mind is going; palace politics is just so much better when everyone is backstabbing everyone! Just like historical dramas! only not everyone dies! XD

[dcmvns]

bill skarsgård. cismale. he/him.  ／  damon stenström just pulled up blasting real life by the weeknd— that song is so them! you know, for a twenty-seven year old ceo, i’ve heard they’re really -narcissistic, but that they make up for it by being so +savvy. if i had to choose three things to describe them, i’d probably say a freshly-engraved solid gold desk plate, gaunt cheekbones and cold eyes, a tailor-fitted name brand suit worn only once. here’s to hoping they don’t cause too much trouble!

hello angels ! it me, lainie, coming @ u with another one of my babies about whomst u can find some backstory below and other such Necessary Info for plotting:

trigger warnings: death, suicide, murder mention, drug use

damon was born a first and only child in stockholm, sweden, to an extremely wealthy family, his father being the ceo of an internationally-successful energy supply company that had been taken over from his father. growing up, damon was always vaguely aware that he was supposed to be next in line when his father retired, but as a kid it never interested him much and not only was it rare to catch him asking his father questions about the business, it was more or less infrequent that they were caught spending time together at all. he was an independent and highly entitled child, soft only for his mother who spoiled him rotten.

he was 12 years old when the company expanded to north america and damon’s father decided to move them to manhattan. it was supposed to be the company’s new headquarters and on top of that, damon’s paternal uncle was already living there. and while his dad and his uncle got along decently well ( as far as anyone was aware, at least ), damon himself did not. it had always been bad blood ( the reason for which being damon’s birthright, though he didn’t figure this out until he was older ), but living in the same city now managed to exacerbate things. that on top of his tendency toward rebellion led to a highly unstable lifestyle. damon’s mother usually defended his adolescent outbursts and ceaselessly stood up for him even when it meant spending absurd amounts of money to cover up embarrassing stories from leaking to the press. damon spent his high school years partying, doing drugs, and finding his way from one bed to the next, and his family paid through the wallet.

suicide tw // it was at 19, however, that things changed. far sooner than he’d expected, his father pulled him aside one day to talk to him about the future of the company and damon’s role in it. distant they’d always been, but his father was adamant his son be the one to take over one day. it wasn’t this rare show of emotion, however, that won damon over–it was the idea of the alternative his father put in his head: namely, his uncle taking the reigns instead. the timing of all this certainly struck damon as odd but he couldn’t figure out why until a week later, when his father was found dead in his bedroom with a bullet in his head.

suicide tw // there was no note, and before damon could blink his uncle had pointed a convincing finger and he was being carted off to a cell on suspicion of murder. the fact that his father had just a week ago gotten him to decide he wanted to take over the family business didn’t look good, but after 72 hours he was released when it was officially ruled a suicide. there was no substantial evidence to make a case, yet that didn’t stop damon’s uncle from making his views on the subject perfectly clear. in spite of that and in spite of the public talk over whether or not he really had killed his father and gotten away with it now as head of the company, damon stepped into his position as ceo just before his 20th birthday.

he knew next to nothing and relied solely on his quick logic and ability to intimidate much older inferiors into taking him seriously to get through the first six months to a year, after which he truly began to settle into his job. behind the scenes he’s still prone to getting up to his rich kid bullshit, but he keeps a relatively squeaky clean image for the public.

he’s 27 now, so he’s been at it about 7 years and has a thoroughly tight grip on the reigns at this point. at least he thinks he does. there’s plenty of dirty dealings that keep the company running which hadn’t been in place when his father was in charge, but he’s successfully kept all of that a secret.

as far as his personality goes, he’s your typical detached, entitled trust fund baby handed the world on a silver platter as well as a job as ceo of a multinational company. he’s got a bit of a god complex but is more than capable of coming off as charming when he needs to be. has a little bit of a swedish accent, particularly when he’s worked up and yelling. uses and abuses his six foot five stature and resting death glare to get what he wants.

still wildly fucked up about his dad, but will not under any circumstances talk about it except to reiterate that he did not, in fact, kill him. is a 10000% mama’s boy but that’s……..not something he shows the public either yeugdhusjs

if he was FORCED to put a label on his sexuality it would be pansexual but he rly hates the idea of putting something like that in a box. he just........sleeps with whoever catches his eye BUT he’s also careful about not letting any of his Escapades become public so he’s also relatively choosy about it unless he’s whacked out of his mind on drugs

i literally edited this and it’s still a rambly mess but i’ll tell u what!!!!!!!! it is what it is and im washing my hands of this come hmu if u wanna plot or like this and i will appear in ur dms at some point !!! also plot ideas below

wanted connections

someone with whom he’s done DIRTY DEALINGS for his company!!!! could be someone else who runs a company or just someone who might have had something he needed (eg connections)

the above but with the added Spice of blackmail

one or two people he’s actually close with!!!! 

a pr relationship / any kind of pr stuff tbh he’s always trying to do things that’ll help his image given how shaky it’s always been bc of the way he started out

an ex or two who definitely ended on bad terms, either him breaking up with them bc he’s him and got bored or they broke up w him bc he’s......him ateyrgjdhsa

endless hookups and one night stands and endless possibilities for angst 

people he’s hardcore led on who probably despise him now

SOMEONE who’s like a little brother/sister to him??? that he’s very protective over and soft for and like....they’re one of the only people who can talk sense into him when he’s being Too Insane

please just all kinds of enemies he’s so Cold it’s so easy to hate him

uhhhHHHHH people who remember the scandal about his dad and think he’s guilty !!!

[shushvera]

*toy story shark vc* howdy howdy howdy ! i would like to make it known i’ve been unabashedly eyeing this since it opened ! anyway ! i’ve lost my ooc intro groove so we gonna move down to my ic intro down below:

oh hi there, welcome to holiday, VERA FLOROS. you’ve been here for TWO MONTHS? awesome! you look just like MARINA DIAMANDIS, it’s crazy. oh, so you’re a 30 year old ‘FORTUNE TELLER’/’MUSICIAN’. and you’re FEMALE and use SHE/HER? okay, just checking! oh, people say you’re INTUITIVE & DILIGENT but DECEITFUL & RASH? well, i’m sure that you can prove yourself here. you’re looking forward to the HALLOWEEN celebration? that’s a good one, you’ll love it. i have to get going now, bye! [fleur, 19, est, she/her]

i would like to start by saying i’ve played vera once (1 time) before and it was,, so much fun,, the dumbest smart person to exist. i’ve tweaked her bg a little (because..... that’s what happens when you read lucille ball’s autobiography that was SUMN.....), but ! who cares !

update: this got rly long so there’s a tl;dr at the bottom if that better floats your boat !

INTRO-WORTHY STATS

aka, stats that aren’t that deep™

FULL NAME: Vera Floros DOB: August 17th, 1989 AGE: thirty FROM: Abergavenny, Wales OCCUPATION: “fortune teller” & a musician who doesn’t understand marketing ORIENTATION: bisexual CLASS: middle class ( that inheritance kicked in ! )

BACKGROUND: 

CHILDHOOD

triggers: parental death, brief mentions of child abuse

alright, vera was born to a very young couple in wales. they’d gotten married fresh out of high school and had a child (her) just two years later. that being said, for about two years after, her mother began distancing herself from the father... not because he was a bad guy, but he moved cities entirely and she was NOT about that.

to be perfectly redundant, for about two years, it was just vera and her mother. 

grandparents weren’t about their daughter being married. at 18. did they help pay rent for a separate living space? until vera’s mom was 21, yes. but was she welcomed in their house? lmao!!!!!

THEN her father blew back into town. they reconnected, they both began working more so that vera’s mother didn’t have to rely on her own (we’ll get to her dad’s parent’s in a second). 

vera, at the Tender Age of Three™ learned that she was a complete Daddy’s Girl™. although she loved her mom for obvious reasons, she connected with her dad on an entirely different level. he was fun! he was playful! he was young, but he was the perfect dad! he even told dad jokes! which she didn’t get until she was five because three year olds usually aren’t that smart! they did little ‘acrobatic’ things! it was cute and fun and good!

but? this is a roleplay character?

our man died from unexpected heart failure. the autopsy showed an abnormality that hadn’t previously been discovered, and we know our man rarely went to the doctor. vera was six at the time.

her mom: married at 18, mother at 20, widow at 26. 

because she and her mom had never developed that Close Bond™, it was difficult for her mother to figure out how to... like... keep her from wandering around... because just telling her not to wasn’t working... so she was like “you know what.... a leash.”

we love ‘puppy’ by george saunders

so whenever her mom was at work and vera wasn’t in school, she was tied to a tree in the backyard.

cruel and unusual punishment!

eventually, her mom kind of just... threw in the towel... she left completely for a change of pace. she said she would be back and that vera would be under the care of her father’s parents in athens until then.

her father’s parents had always been more accepting of the young marriage. they’d been more supportive of them being young parents, in spite of her father having left for a while. they’d definitely been supportive of vera and her mother during that time because they were like “omg mood”

there were a few other kids under their care, all related or not. they did some work for her father’s parents, but nothing very laborious – just sort of... Bonding™ ja feel?

so her mom DID keep her promise and returned three years later when vera was nine. mind you, vera had never held any feelings of resentment towards her mother. when she was six, she... just didn’t get it. at nine, she was old enough to be like “i get u.”

BUT her mother DID get remarried. she didn’t resent her for that, but... she was not fond of the new husband. he wouldn’t accept the ‘dad’ title, was very stern, very serious, made her mom seem like an absolute joy, etc. 

but her mom was in love, so what could she do? and then they had a son together, so what could she do? nothing.

that summer, to learn more Discipline™, vera was sent to live with her step-father’s parents in london. boy howdy, it was nothing like her father’s parents! they had a knack for pointing out flaws, induced actual laborious work, constantly quoted the bible at the worst of times, and thought that a single head nod was the equivalent of “good job!” there were a couple of other kids there too, but yikes.

TEENS ( *hang ten emoji* ) + COLLEGE

triggers: brief domestic abuse implications

early was filled with Drama™ surrounding her step-father’s parents and her step-father himself. the overall consensus was that he was not a dope dude, nor were his parents. vera’s mother filed for divorce and gained sole custody of their son (keeping in mind.... she basically already had sole custody of vera.... considering she was her only legal guardian left lmao)

after the divorce was filed, vera’s mother was like “u kno what. my parents hate me. my first husband is dead. my second husband was a douche. i have no reason to be here anymore.” so they went to the land of golden opportunity

but wound up in america instead

(joke patented by dr. doofenshmirtz)

vera, around sixteen at the time (y’all i’m figuring out ages as i go along bear with me), now attended some strange high-school where they were like “fahrenheit.” 

by the way! it was in holiday! that’s important to note for possible future connections!

it wasn’t an unwelcome change, though. starting over... was nice...

but the problem was that she was like her father in that she always acted before she thought... which made her a very dumb smart person. 

alright get ready for the single idea that drove this entire thing:

she majored in philosophy then was *pikachu shocked face* when she realized there were no jobs out there for philosophy majors.

ADULTHOOD

alright... so what do you do when you have no good opportunities for things in your major?

you would think you would do something like... idk... find a well-paying job that doesn’t require a major?

or maybe a job that just requires experience in ___?

or maybe a job that just requires a bachelor’s degree of any sort?

or maybe a job that doesn’t require a major, but would like a major similar to yours, thus giving you a leg up?

etc.?

lmao no. you go to new orleans and become one of many phony fortune tellers using the one good thing you got from your weird upbringing: easy analysis of body language.

in addition, you try to make something of your life through music, but have no clue what ‘marketing�� is because you really don’t understand social media and probably still have the egg as your twitter profile picture.

what do you mean print is out of style?

what do you mean no one listens to CDs anymore?

what do you mean garageband isn’t acceptable to record on?

that being said, it’s not like... she wasn’t good at it... i mean she was v good at it... but musician is in quotes because she has made NOTHING of her LIFE with it. DOES NOT UNDERSTAND MARKETING.

*sonic kid vc* WHEN WILL YOU LEARN? WHEN WILL YOU LEARN? *end vc*

she got some decent pay from being a ‘fortune teller,’ though. tourists totally flocked and using a fake russian accent helped, as did... just speaking a language they didn’t know while pretending to contact spirits...

at least she’s a good scam artist

can’t market very well, but could probs create the next big ponzi scheme

returned to holiday when she heard news from her brother that her mother had fallen ill.

honestly rest in peace.

is still around because... that’s her home! sentiment! also rip!

also marketing isn’t as hard in holiday so???

also testing fortune telling out in holiday is more interesting so???

DOPE.

PERSONALITY

either really dumb for a smart person or really smart for a dumb person.

still has a childlike trait tbh. i mean when ur growing up just laying beneath child labor laws, ur gonna have to become a kid again eventually.

really bad at technology for reasons unknown to... everyone, but really good at scams.

has not thought before she acted even ONCE.

hasn’t used her degree since she was 22. the closest she’s come is buying some misc. philosophy books and sharing tidbits with strangers. 

“now this is a taoist anthem” - vera @ ‘soak up the sun’ by sheryl crow

so many ragrets.

will find a way to bring up she’s half greek in every conversation. 

“and i’ve had mental illness since i was in middle school. good night.” - that video someone edited of professor tox

im so bad at personality sections but she’s got a fun one y’all one of the few characters i’ve played who’s had a Sad Backstory™ but wound up being a Fun And Comedic Character™

TL;DR

that was my first time ever writing this whole thing out, so it got real long. so we gonna give a tl;dr:

triggers: v brief mentions of parental death, brief mentions of child abuse, v brief implication of domestic abuse

born to a v young couple in wales. dad was like “brb” then he did, indeed, come rb. loved dad. but dad died when she was six lmao get wreckt this is a roleplay character.

mom was like “idk what 2 do” so she took notes from george saunders’s ‘puppy’ and just tied vera to a tree when she was gone adjsflka. went away for a while and vera stayed with her dad’s parent’s in greece. came back three years later and reunitedanditfeelssogood.mp3.

got married tho and vera was like “i don’t like this guy” and mom was like “i’m having his child.” lived with his parents over the next few summers. they almost violate child labor laws. like. just a hair more. hare? became source of any self-hatred lmao get wreckt

vera’s mom and step-dad divorced bc he was horrible and they moved to holiday when she was sixteen. she left for college when she was eighteen. she decided to major in philosophy which was a bad idea and the source of her entire character. 

decided to become a phony fortune teller in new orleans instead of... idk... just getting a job that didn’t require a degree or sumn? pretty successful tho! talked in a fake russian accent around tourists bc? why not? 

also did/does music but has no idea how marketing works. bad at social media. records things on garageband. an overall fool. good but a fool.

back in holiday bc mom died lmao get wreckt we’re an orphan now boizzzz

Sad But Rad™

WANTED CONNECTIONS

it’s 2:38AM as i write this part and i still have to go back and include a stats thing bc i love those then post ic but i’ll update this w/ some when im done i suppose?? but we do love brainstorming in this house!!

like this or hmu if you’d like to plot !

[elviriel]

Thanks for asking, @la-petite-fadette! I made a separate post for this, since it was getting kind of long, hope that’s okay. 

And I was actually thinking of talking about this for Braven week when I saw the “when they became your otp” moment so, the question comes at a perfect time. It convinced me to actually type it out! 

To answer that question adequately- because I'm very wordy and incapable of answering quickly, watch me get off-topic under the cut as I try to walk you through my history of shipping on The 100. This is all a lot of honest rambles about what I shipped and why I stopped. 

Dear followers, if you ship B*llarke, don’t read this. It’s only going to upset you, so stay away :)  Also, Braven shippers, this post talks about B*llarke a lot. and about Raven x W*ck a bit And about internalized bias and things like that. Just so you’re warned :) it does talk about braven though oF COURSE

So how did I get into Ravenbell? To get there, I have to start with B*llarke because.... well, you’ll see. 

The thing is, like many others I think, I shipped B*llarke before even watching the show.

Gifsets of that season 2 hug were everywhere on my dash, and I was like: “oh my this is cute.” then I started watching the show, and while I fell in love with Raven at first sight, B*llarke had that enemies to lovers potential that kept me hooked.

They had fun chemistry in season 1. They started antagonistic then started liking each other more. They were the leads. It made... sense? And I genuinely liked them. So there I was, shipping it happily. Everyone shipped it, so it was on my dash all the time. It fueled my shipping, and I knew it was all leading to The Hug. 

Ravenbell was.... well. not even a thing if you looked at the fandom, judging by the people I was following. It was either Fl*arke or B*llarke. L*nctavia too. 

So Ravenbell flew past me. I enjoyed their interactions- definitely saw the sexual tension.

Hell, I will admit that when they hooked up in season 1, I felt lowkey threatened, as I think many B*llarke shippers did.

My threatening did not, however, transform into me hating Raven because I loved her a lot. She was my absolute favorite. People disliking her because of that thing honestly made me like her more out of spite- not that she needed it. My love for Raven Reyes knows no bounds.

And even then, I think I was kind of hoping something more would come from their hook-up- but I was still in B*llarke land then, so I both wanted it and I didn’t.

That’s the thing about me- honestly, I tend to pick a ship and it’s hard for me to get over it once I ship it. I’m less like this than I used to be, but yeah. I tended to hold on tight to ships

I did think, though, that maybe Ravenbell would go somewhere in season 2, after their late season 1 interactions. It kind of surprised me that it didn’t.  So season 1 happened, and then season 2 rolled around. I loved season 2 in many ways, but Raven’s general storyline in season 2 was very unsatisfying to me. Raven x W*ck was nice, at first. I wanted Raven to have a love interest that wasn't Finn. I enjoyed the banter- but then when it progressed, I found myself grimacing at Wick putting pressure on her. I was like “really man? She just lost the boy she loved forever, her family, can you chill?” I saw everyone being all heart eyes at that ship in the B*llarke tag, and I was wondering if there was something I’d missed. Because I wasn’t really into it.  I did notice, though, at the end of season 2, Bellamy saying “Is that Raven?” like he wanted to cry. It made my heart do a thing. But again, still in B*llarke land. I got a lot of feels at the end of the season. She kissed his cheek. I was crying.  Still firmly into B*llarke at this point. Even if the possibility of Cl*xa then highly interested me. 

But anyway. On to season 3.

Season 3 is when I stopped shipping B*llarke.

Mostly because season 3 started, iMO, sucking. I was angry at the Bell storyline. I was angry at how Cl*xa was handled, I was angry at the Lincoln death/Ricky Whittle on set drama... Season 3 nearly got me to quit the show tbh. 

So my B*llarke shipping was sucked into my frustration with the show. And I didn’t like the idea that L*xa was killed off to make way for B*llarke- I now realize that it wasn’t the case, but the way the fandom framed it... It turned me off the show, the ship, all of it. 

I also lost interest in Cl*rke as a character for many reasons that I won’t go into- my season 3 frustrations are never-ending tbh and somehow, when B*llarke reunited at the end of the season, it fell kind of flat to me? I was like: “but wait where’s that romantic chemistry I thought they had” (the answer was it probably wasn’t there in the first place but anyway i’m not here to throw shade)

anyway, my reaction was: “Huh. so I’m over b*llarke.” 

Also, as I got more frustrated with the show in season 3, I started going into “anti tags” and found meta that talked about several aspects (I think some of them were even written by you? I know I’d seen your name in tags before I followed you for Braven joy) such as the show’s racist patterns, etc.- and also, I distinctly remember reading a great piece of meta about how the show rarely lets characters of color interact without a white character present, and that.... got me. I was like: fuck that’s true. 

When I say season 3 sucked though, I want to make it clear that while it did IMO, it only... highlighted some of the problems that were here all along in the show. Honestly I’m really not proud of the way I missed - or ignored- some of the show’s patterns, and they really came to light in season 3. The fact that I missed those aspects is fully on me. A lot of viewers were aware of them before. Just not... me?  Wow am I getting off-topic. The question was about Ravenbell. Okay. Focus, Audrey, focus. 

I wasn’ t even going to watch season 4, at first, but my husband wanted to, so I knew I wouldn't be able to resist. I wasn’t really into the 100 then anymore tbh. 

Before season 4 rolled around though, I visited the Ravenbell tag. The reason is ridiculously personal and has, at its basis, NOTHING to do with Ravenbell themselves. A happy accident, really. 

To be completely honest, I started writing a book (wee!) where two main characters hook up and they look like Ravenbell a lot. Tall curly-haired boy, shorter dark-haired lady, both of them brown-skinned... so I wanted screenshots of them to make my own private edits for myself like the little goblin that I am- and looking for screenshots on google images led me to the Braven tag, and then I.... could not... get out.

Looking at the Ravenbell scenes in gifsets, looking at edits, honestly made me go: “........ huh. HUH. how come I don’t ship this more? They’re my favorite individually and usually, I ship my favorites together. Not always but often How come I broke my own pattern?” 

The question to how come I broke my own pattern probably has an answer that’s both obvious and shameful tbh. The fact that I didn’t ship Raven with Bell even if she was my favorite character, over Cl*rke, says a lot about how much TV structure and internalized shit influence us. I’m a lot more conscious of that than I used to be. I know you’re familiar with candyumbrella’s tobin structure posts- and honestly, misreading B*llarke as Tobin?

That was me. Me 1000000%. I can admit it freely because I’m super over it but that was the case. 

Probably the reasons the meta mentions- even if it wasn’t conscious on my part. I somehow- had this idea in my head that Bell*rke was the ship. That the romantic chemistry was there. That the storyline was going there. That they had the development, the attraction, etc. 

As it turns out.... well. Nope? 

Those Tobin metas also intensified my Braven shipping by 10000% since then but anyway

Really though, the braven tag and its contents - that I kept visiting for non-book-edit purposes- made me start shipping it. A lot. A lot-lot. Mostly because the more I looked at their pretty selves and thought about them, they made... sense?

The fact that I was super over B*llarke freed up the way for me to ship Braven. It sounds silly, really, but that's 1000% what happened. 

Anyway, by the start of season 4, Braven interacted.

I squealed.

I wanted more of them.

I kept visiting the tags. More and more and more. I rewatched some of their scenes and saw things I’d missed. I remembered how really, in season 1, it looked like something more would come from their season 1 scenes- until that was mostly dropped in season 2. And the writing for season 4 was more satisfactory to me, for the most part. There was more Raven. A LOT MORE RAVEN. So between my renewed fondness for the show, my heart exploding with feels over Raven Reyes all the time, my little heart fluttering over Bellamy Blake constantly, I went from “oh that would be rly nice if the show went there again” to “help I ship it so hard I would die for them” and honestly there’s no going back for me now.

I realized that not only was Ravenbell super based in canon, they made sense. They bring out some passion in each other that lacks in their interactions with other characters IMO. And honestly, after all the shit they went through, I want them to be loved and protected and treated well- and if you look at the show’s canon, IMO, that’s with each other. I’m not nearly as skilled with Braven meta as the rest of the fandom is, so I won’t bother explaining why I love them because honestly, the fandom’s said it all. And I can feel it in my chest now- they evoke the kind of love that B*llarke used to evoke for me, only even deeper because (no shade to anyone who likes Cl*rke ) I’ve always loved Raven much, much more than I like Cl*rke, even when the latter was in my top 5 favorite characters. The admiration I have for Raven Reyes knows no bounds, and god, Bellamy Blake, don’t get me started. Loving him has been a ride, because he has been through so much and grown so much and you know that meta, Raven Reyes as the secret hero of his development? I think about that every goddamn day.

And honestly, back in B*llarke days, I was annoyed with some of the fandom’s tendency to... reduce Bell or Raven to Cl*rke. I never liked the trend of making Raven out to be some sort of B*llarke cheerleader- and I think starting in season 2, I was a bit annoyed by the idea that everything Bell did or said was directly related to his love for Cl*rke. Even if I shipped it, that was... irksome, even if it took me a while to realize what bothered me. 

Honestly the cracks in my B*llarke shipping were probably there from the start but anyway. I still shipped for a loooooong time

I spent season 4 waiting for Braven to interact more, getting increasingly annoyed with Cl*rke, thirsting for Braven to interact ALONE- and then completely exploding when he offered to go get her and the hug and the scenes in the finale and gkljflkgjdlkjgdfkgjdflkjkldjflgjfdlgkjfdlkgjfdklgjfdklgjflgjd. Keysmash sums up my feelings efficiently. 

Honestly, I think it’s the Ravenbell tag that made me get into it before season 4 rolled around, and increasingly through the season. The gifsets, the metas, the everything- mostly because the tag helped me realize a lot of things that had happened in the first three seasons and that I’d missed because I was into another ship. Complete and utter tunnel-vision. 

And now, as I await season 5, I visit the tag all the time and read all the meta and look at their pretty faces and think daily about what a fool I was to miss that ship for such a long time. I honestly can’t believe myself  Anyway, if you read all that, thank you? I hoped you enjoyed my ramblings. (Also, this may sound like a silly question, but am I the only one who went from B*llarke to Braven? I feel like I can’t be, but you know, if anyone else ship-jumped, let me know so I can feel less alone and we can cry together about the foolishness of our youth) 

[fromthedeskofelizabeththird]

So this is the Bullshit

I don’t believe in call out posts. I think they’re unnecessary and usually create a tidal wave of drama over a misunderstanding or an issue that might have been resolved with a simple click of ‘unfollow’ or block’.

This is one of those instances where it is necessary. Where the actions of one person are genuinely harmful and quite likely malicious and it’s actually impossible to know the extent of everything they have done.

Before I proceed, I want to make it clear that I do not condone sending this person hateful asks-or, indeed, any- asks about their behaviour. If you wish to unfollow or block them-or not- then that is your business. But I did not make this post to encourage spiteful behaviour.

I want to thank everyone who contributed to this post, whether it was sending me data, good vibes, proofing or just cheering up my cranky butt at varying points between now and April. Without further ado:-

This is a callout post for user Vallanoble, for actions spanning back to February of this year.

Before I start, I need to point out a couple of things, this is a long ass story. It might take at least one session to get through all of the receipts, of which there are many.

Also: tumblr took a shit on the formatting and none of the links work now. Everything is ugly but I have a back up I’ll post when whatever weird glitch this is fixes itself.

SEVERE TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR THIS POST

Secondly, for much of April, before this story crossed over to tumblr, Vallan went by a nickname that was an amalgamation their general location on my statcounter and the fact they had sent weird anons as opposed to their actual name. Now that the story is being publicly connected to a singular individual, I’ve edited out all references to physical locations from my data and switched out the actual place in the document with the word ‘dipshit’. Yes, this took hours. Yes. I had a LOT of help. This is in the interest of protecting user privacy, however and not dishonesty.

First things first, Dipshit anon is an overly passionate Zen fan. They don’t interact much, so tbh I never really noticed them ?? But for sure they were following me around the time of this post 

http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/155205738770/1-am-i-the-only-person-who-feels-like-zen-is

(which seems to be the first they reblogged from me) and I recall they had been for quite some time at the time of this one

http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/156327734615/i-love-how-you-always-take-survivors-opinions-into

which they later alluded to in a post of their own.

It’s important to actually note several things happening at this point:-

Random overly enthusiastic Zen anon exhibit A // http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/156228295970/you-know-theres-something-that-annoys-me-like

Not so rando enthusiastic Zen anon // http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/156308585305/i-have-a-question-how-did-you-interpret-zens-bad

Zen anon the third // http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/156206700610/what-are-your-thoughts-on-the-conflict-between-zen

Zen’s creepy childhood brought up with the beginnings of resentment towards a Jumin post made only shortly before

http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/156210280495/honestly-im-so-glad-youre-talking-about-how

http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/155500851985/what-do-you-think-to-the-thoery-that-jumin-is-a

Tbh I’m a bit annoyed that tumblr removed their historical notes from posts so I can’t actually reference stuff properly >:[, but January was a very busy month in terms of Zen anons (a pretty recent thing, so I don’t think Dipshit had been following me for THAT long??) asking me about stuff while I posted Jumin fics and other Jumin meta, all while Dipshit anon liked the posts all of thirty seconds after I answered them, which basically led me to the conclusion they’d probably been the one asking in the first place.

In January, they talked to me about fanfiction

http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/156305150630/vallanoble-replied-to-your-post-wait-why-dont

This is important. At the very least please take note of the tone

In January, they were also posting this, complaining about Jumin blogs shitting on their favourite character.

https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/156356257463/something-ive-noticed-is-that-almost-all-the

(I took screens in case of deletion)

This post is fine on its own, but crucial context for what came later.

By this point, I had them tagged on Statcounter, though I didn’t know about these posts until February, when this debacle happened

http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/157102446080/i-looked-everywhere-my-desk-my-files-the

Tl;dr, in a conversation about how Jumin fans felt uncomfortable about a particular phone call, an anon came out of the blue to change the thread of conversation to Zen. Why is that familiar?!?

http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/157093746030/just-read-through-all-the-debating-about-jumin-and

http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/157097601850/the-breadcrumbs-call-is-outgoing-not-incoming

http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/157098711835/im-honestly-not-trying-to-be-so-salty-but-im

http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/157097035190/seven-does-make-passing-guilt-trippy-comments-in

http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/157112807900/to-clarify-it-was-annoying-that-the-discussion

Take note of this post and this one

http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/157112807900/to-clarify-it-was-annoying-that-the-discussion

http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/157097417010/i-just-meant-during-the-conversation-about-sevens

Same day, take note of this

https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/157117392193/lj-writes-shippers-my-ship-is-totally-not

(screenshot), 

plus this post from a short while earlier 

https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/155827891443/what-really-irked-me-more-so-than-just-the-fact

(screenshot 1) 

(screenshot 2)

Same behaviours as before. Both resenting discussion of Jumin where relevant and blaming me personally for gross fandom behaviours I was not guilty of. I had statcounter data too (no longer unfortunately, as I have the free version), but anyway, I blocked the user and went on my merry way.

Note:- In case it is not clear, I was able to work out the identity of Dipshit and block them based on their historical activity, previous asks they had passed onto me (which in turn led to their tag on stats), stat counter data at the time of the debacle (data I don’t have anymore, but they remained tagged in April) and a cross reference of posts on their own blog.

Side note:- Here is Dipshit admitting to sending the anons (paragraph 4)

And again, (paragraph 2)

And again (paragraph 2)

And again

A n d   a g a i n

In any case. Check out these posts from March 

http://themystic-messenger.tumblr.com/post/158096675544/vallanoble-replied-to-your-post-me-i-dont

(screenshot)

, [x] 

https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/158933352583/the-amount-of-hate-and-aggression-towards-people

 (screenshot)

https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/158973582463/yall-rant-and-rave-about-how-rika-abused-v-and

 [x]

 (screenshot) 

and this one from April

http://themystic-messenger.tumblr.com/post/159234167469/i-rly-love-all-ur-posts-bc-i-agree-with-your

(screenshot here)

Once again, crucial context for what comes later.

Prior to JuminV week, I received this ask

http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/159180924940/zenxv-and-zenxjumin

This question came off the back of this ask to Jun, which was liked by Dipshit anon.

https://xeraeus.tumblr.com/post/159177453126/what-i-was-asking-a-question

There is currently no evidence to tie the ask itself to Dipshit however, in light of what happened later, I am including that detail nonetheless.

On the first day of JuminV, this was posted

https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/159427686298/sees-zen-x-jumin-content-stop-that

 (screenshot here)

followed succinctly by this ask

http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/159426686395/am-i-the-only-one-annoyed-about-the-popularity-of

I made the connection to Dipshit Anon after replying. Juminzen week, as far as we know, was not in the works until after JuminV week had already started. Therefore, it’s unlikely that first message is connected to it and it was sent for a different reason.

Note:- Here is Dipshit directly admitting to sending the JuminV ask Part one, part two

In any case, since I didn’t want to start ship drama, I dismissed them?? I blocked them by IP around this point.

After I responded two more responses came, citing a disability when reading and claiming to ship JuminV over Juminzen tl;dr because it was not fetishisation. I deleted both of these messages and blocked by ip. I would not have deleted them if I had already made the later connection.

I posted to twitter at this point, joking that it was the first day of JuminV and already I’d blocked the entirety of the University of Dipshit by IP.

I posted again a short while later after checking statcounter and making the connection.

Dipshit anon’s name or URL was not mentioned. The fact that they actually studied at the university was assumed, though not confirmed nor referenced by myself the tweets were later deleted and this is to the best of my recollection

Things went quiet, but then the mod of JuminZen week started liking my tweets about Dipshit anon (which in turn made me suspicious, as we did not know one another and did not talk until May). Strange asks started arriving to other bloggers in regards to JuminZen. My statcounter traffic started to spike with visits from the university of Dipshit.

In this period I made jokes about “Dipshit anon”, based on the fact that I had blocked them by ip more than once and they persisted in viewing my blog, leaving me to redirect their individual ip addresses to rick rolls, crash safari and more. In private I also complained about them, because their actions were making me uncomfortable.

They posted this on the 14th, which later made me suspicious

https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/159572324383/if-someone-makes-a-jumin-x-zen-week-i-will-boycott

(screenshot here)

https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/159700504123/wow-im-feeling-like-shit-i-want-to-die

This is what they posted on the 17th 

(screenshot here)

This is definitely about me, considering everything I’ve covered so far and this paragraph

were the same person who talked about listening to survivors expressing discomfort yet you shut me down just for not liking your fave. even when i phrased things nicely and came just to discuss things you immediately responded aggressively and accused me of trying to start drama. well im sorry that i saw you discussing similar topics and thought i could come and express my feelings to you but obviously you only care about specific instances of homophobia or problematic things that occur in the fandom if they have to do with bashing ur gross fave, jumin the ultimate misogynist han

The thing I didn’t understand was why it was framed as if friends were laughing, but

#dragzenweek

#dragzenweek was established as a joke (and regardless of opinions on the matter, it was not actually tagged with Zen’s name), but Alyx reported receiving genuinely hateful comments from fans of Zen and people who hated Jumin over it. One of them was Dipshit anon, which I pointed out at the time on twitter. Alyx posted a screenshot of a post from their notifs with Dipshit Anon’s URL blanked out and I was able to identify it. I personally feel from the manner the screenshot was edited, it would not be possible to identify the user without prior knowledge. (Please don’t take my word for this, however. Here is a screenshot)

I was in contact with other friends about Dipshit anon’s behaviour and the possibility they were connected to other current dramas (at that point, I was the only person to receive an anon in regards to JuminZen who knew where it came from) both in private and otherwise. I was concerned, but did not want to spread malicious, unwarranted gossip.

It’s important to reiterate that in any given public conversation about Dipshit Anon, they were only ever referenced as such and not as any individual tumblr user. Dipshit-originally- referred to the general location of their Ip and Anon referred to the fact they had sent an anonymous message.

I spoke to Alyx about this at the time expressing concerns that Dipshit anon thought I was perhaps connected, or at the very least somehow involved with dragzen week.

On the 19th/20th April, I made a private document, detailing everything I currently knew, with links, screenshots etc (the first draft of this document). I did not want to keep repeating the story and if I was actually going to suspect this person of behaving badly, I needed proof. This document could not be liked, reblogged etc and and was only circulated privately among friends who had been in conversation about Dipshit thus far. It was a presentation of the facts as I knew them and intended to inform, leaving everyone to come to their own judgement on the matter.

Remember that at this point, beyond sending asks to Alyx and their priors with me, we did not know for sure Dipshit was connected to other dramas and without statcounter data, there was no way to actually prove it.

On the 19th of April, Alyx posted this screenshot to twitter. 

At the time we joked about how this remark was actually unfair of both characters, as while it’s certainly true that Jumin can be quite mean to Zen, Zen is hardly kind to Jumin either. Neither the screenshot nor the subsequent thread were tagged JuminZen or Juzen. You would have had to have gone directly onto Alyx’s page to find it.

This coincides with the following twitter based traffic to my tumblr page.

Worth noting is that Alyx’s twitter is listed on their tumblr page, where they also received hateful messages about the week on the 20th of April,

 which once again coincides with twitter based traffic from Dipshit Anon. 

Considering Dipshit Anon complained on the 17th about me and my friends and then Alyx received a complaint about their hateful friends, I do not think it’s too much of a stretch to suggest a connection.

Also around the same point, off the back of sentiments from other people that someone was trying to perhaps stir bad feeling betweeen Juminzen and JuminV shippers, I commented that I knew of two potential problems in this regard, one of which was Dipshit anon who I knew for certain had sent me an ask that would have caused drama. I mentioned victim complex, by the way, as a comparison to the Juzen shippers sending asks badgering artists. I was rather suspicious that no matter how shady their behaviour, ultimately Dipshit anon would convince themselves they were doing the right thing and anyone who told them otherwise was being a bully or a homophobe, having seen such behaviour before- both from them and other fandom dramas.

Also worth noting is that my tweet was on my own personal twitter page, which is not listed anywhere and was written J*zen. It was not retweeted and no one commented on it. It would have been impossible to find without either going directly onto my page or searching Dipshit Anon.

Around the 20th, Vess confirms traffic from Dipshit anon coming through from Val’s blog. Vess continues to receive traffic from them over the next few days. This comes after a tweet expressing the belief that Dipshit anon is, in fact, more than one person. In response, I note that the messages I received (of which there were three) came from Dipshit anon, which I know for certain. I do not confirm or deny anyone else’s, however.

That same day, Gillian also questions if Dipshit Anon is making the rounds. However, I personally do not comment on that thread.

On the 21st of April, Dipshit anon posted hate directly to the Jumin Han tag because “they wanted Jumin stans to see it”

https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/159807410203/i-just-wanted-to-let-you-know-that-im-in-the-same

Screenshot is here

Note:- this gained a negative reaction on twitter as it broke established etiquette.

They later received an anon asking to stop sending messages.

https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/159834049063/look-im-not-here-to-convince-you-that-jumin-has

Screenshot is here

Note: I don’t know who sent this message. Up until this point, I had complained about them for stalking my blog, sending an ask that would have created a shit ton of drama and expressed my own concerns that they might have been doing the same to other people. None of us had mentioned sending asks about Jumin outside of that one post on the 19th, which related to askZen. This was not officially connected to Dipshit Anon at the time.

They later express righteous anger at the idea of “popular” Jumin and V stans blaming them for drama

https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/159834850458/apparently-someone-is-going-around-sending-angry

Screenshot is here

Note:- a quick search made it quite apparent that no ‘popular’ Jumin or V stans had referenced this blogger recently. However, this post comes shortly after dipshit anon was referenced as victim complex 101 on twitter (as dipshit anon). The connection was not made until later.

Dipshit anon claims to have been harassed, without mentioning names. 

https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/159836552898/leave-me-alone-i-honestly-dont-know-what-the

Could be true, considering the Jumin post, though is not tied to that and no asks are published. Feels victimized for content they post on their own blog. Also claims not to have sent anons and only have lurked in the Zen tag, which is, frankly, untrue.

Note the phrasing:  honestly how narcissistic do u have to be to think that one person who you had a disagreement with once is going around over 2 months later harassing every person who like jumin??? like???  <- this is about me

Link to Post - https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/159836552898/leave-me-alone-i-honestly-dont-know-what-the

Screenshot

Note:- This message also comes off the back of me saying on twitter (not 100% seriously)  that I’m almost tempted to do a call out. Also note that this mostly came from the fact that they accused us of stalking and bullying on tumblr based on out of context comments from twitter.

Dipshit anon claims that people are spreading misinformation. 

https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/159838725443/honestly-i-dont-like-people-who-blame-things-on

At this point the only information being passed around is a private document containing links to legit sources that cannot be reblogged to avoid this exact thing. References being mocked, which … this blogger has not been referenced on tumblr. Has only been mocked for their efforts as Dipshit anon. Based on things they have actually done.

Screenshot is here

Dipshit anon refuses to give receipts on behaviour and references not wanting to start drama even though they spoke about boycotting an event only recently and tagged their hate that same day.

https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/159839414888/im-reading-ur-posts-abt-these-blogs-accusing-u-of

Screenshot is here

Dipshit anon tells another person that they have only made posts on their own blog irt Jumin, which is not true. They also say that their behaviour comes as a result of wanting their experiences as an abuse survivor to be considered. (Deleted! Screenshot available) Remember, they are not the only survivor here and they know this enough to try and use it in a vaguepost

http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/156210280495/honestly-im-so-glad-youre-talking-about-how

https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/159700504123/wow-im-feeling-like-shit-i-want-to-die

Screenshot is here

this private post was only referenced on twitter. In replies to conversations, not all of which mentioned Dipshit anon. Usernames were not mentioned. It was not posted on tumblr. Enough said. It was at this point that everyone started to suspect they were actually watching people’s twitters.

https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/159839641293/whos-saying-its-you-whos-sending-the

Screenshot here

Demands information from the people supposedly sending them hate Deleted, I took a Screenshot

Posts this by way of a receipt (does not link actual users) Deleted, but I took a Screenshot

Note: You cannot just stumble across tweets !!! Also, the topic of conversation WAS Jumin. Dipshit got defensive after I refused to change the topic.

I would also speculate that this ask Alyx received on the 21st came from Dipshit anon, given these factors:

The timeline -  having asked Alyx and knowing that ask arrived somewhere between 5am and 3pm cst on the 21st of April, which places it on the busiest period of Dipshit anon’s posts that day. Between the Jumin hate and many other of their corresponding posts

the knowledge that Dipshit anon was watching our twitters

the data that proves they were watching both Vess’ blog and mine for certain

They arrived at Vess’ blog via referral from Val’s. With this in mind and the facts above, it’s not unlikely that during this period they actually lurked everyone’s blogs.

This ask arrived during a very difficult climate when Dipshit felt particularly angry and in their own words, was stressed and emotional.

Not only that, but they themselves were on the receipt of criticism for posting hate in tags on the 21st.

I did a search of their blog for mentions of Yoosung and Unknown and they have explicitly stated a dislike for the Yooran ship  (screenshot)

https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/159453918143/mysticmessengerspambot-gah-im-tired-of

This is speculation, but considering the evidence, I believe it is fair.

On the 22nd April, Dipshit Anon sends a message to Alyx (part2)(part 3)

They send a message to Serena shortly afterwards

Here is how the conversation goes:

S:  “I’m a bit confused about what it is you want me to tell you, honestly. I never thought that we were engaged in drama nor were we fighting, considering I’ve never spoken to you before.”

DA:  “No, I didn’t think so either. But apparently you and some others had a post listing things I’ve done and I was really confused?? There was accusations of me sending people who liked Jumin mean asks which I didn’t do? I just wanted to clear everything up and figure out where that was coming from.”

S:  “I don’t recall anyone saying that people were sending Jumin fans mean asks. Can you be more specific?”

DA: “Um, wasn’t that the entire point of what was going on though? There were tweets saying that I was sending harassment to people who like Jumin?Someone sent me a message telling me to stop sending asks to people who like Jumin which I didn’t do? And it seemed like it was from one of you guys. I could be wrong, though.”

S:  “Well, I didn’t send that message, and to my knowledge none of my friends have sent you anything.”

DA: “That was the bulk of my frustration. I saw some tweets assuming that I was sending anon asks to random people about Jumin which I didn’t do, and I was overwhelmed and upset at being told I was doing something that I didn’t.”

DA:  “Okay. Then what was all the hype about saying that I was harassing Jumin fans? And that there was a private post that apparently had a bunch of evidence that I did a bunch of things? I honestly was super confused on what everyone thought I did and that’s why I was upset.”

S: “Do you want to link me to a specific tweet claiming that you’re harassing Jumin fans, because I still do not recall anyone saying that.”

S:  Honestly, it’s really not my responsibility to entertain you, but I’m a bit tired of this and I have exams to study for so I’m going to anyway. First of all, my friends and I aren’t a hive mind. I don’t know what it is they’re saying about you at all times, and just because they say something it doesn’t mean that I personally agree with it.

Second of all, I was referencing this ask that you sent to Louise when I referred to sending asks trying to start shit:http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/159426686395/ … I’m not interested in debating whether or not that was actually your intention; it doesn’t really matter to me because that’s the effect it would’ve had when it landed in Louise’s inbox had she chosen to reply to you seriously. And I know that you were the one who sent that ask, because of this post that you made subsequently, so don’t bother:https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/159700504123/wow-im-feeling-like-shit-i-want-to-die … For some reason, you chose to pretend that her response was some sort of personal vendetta against you for disliking Jumin, even though her response has nothing to do with Jumin’s character at all and simply stated that she doesn’t want to partake in an argument that’ll cause friction with JuminZen fans. And then you did a whole lot of misconstruing by saying that she’s belittling you for your justified anger or not taking your experience as a survivor seriously, which is a very serious and untrue accusation to be making of a person who is also a survivor. Hence, my annoyance with you.

Thirdly, I posted my incredulity at the fact we’re the same age, because of your assertion that adults in the fandom are bullying you despite being an adult yourself, and despite the fact you aren’t being bullied. Getting blocked isn’t being bullied, it’s being ignored by someone who has no requirement to engage with you anyway. Fourth, it annoys me that you said you haven’t sent any asks about Jumin since months ago, when you just sent that JuminZen ask like two weeks ago, because that’s lying. This entire time you’ve remained anonymous in our discussions. We’ve literally been calling you “Dipshit anon”, and your url hasn’t been publicly revealed anywhere. None of this information is available to anyone except in our group of friends, since the post containing these and other links is private, and we’ve only been sending it through private messages to people we are friends with. The fact you decided to listen in on a conversation about things you really did and claim that having that conversation is bullying is your problem, not ours. Have a good night.

Screenshot of Dipshit Anon loading my blog one hour before I am referenced in this conversation

Before Dipshit Anon’s response, I learn that Vergil received a strange JuminZen ask and receive clarification that, while he did receive traffic from Dipshit (the location), the one in his askbox was Italian. Around this point we discuss potentially eliminating Dipshit from this particular inquiry, but also to keep an eye on them in case of future problems. I too received traffic from Italy recently.

Dipshit begins deleting posts off their blog around this point. (The final two on the list)

Vess confirms traffic from Dipshit anon

Dipshit Anon’s response 1,

  2

, 3

, 4

, 5

, 6

, 7

, 8

, 9

, 10

, 11

, 12

, 13

, 14

, 15

, 16

Some notes:-

In regards to point 8, this person is blocked from my blog for reasons I have already explored and it is manipulative, to say the least, to complain about my reaction to them when they had no business being in my inbox in the first place.

The phrasing of point 8 actually is very manipulative in general “oh well, she doesn’t care”. My emotional labor is not for their profit, nor consumption.

Speaking of manipulative, consider the point about age. Dipshit anon repeatedly refers to themselves as a child when they are nineteen, repeatedly complains about adult bloggers and grownups being condescending and in points 8 and 9 complains about an inherently present power dynamic that I should be aware of when speaking to younger bloggers, all while sending asks on anon. I cannot feasibly guess the age of anonymous asks.

I don’t actually remember saying anything about Zen and Seven fans on my twitter or tumblr. I also cannot find anything on my twitter about this. So. Um. Receipt?  

I believe that point 11 is true to an extent. I believe they probably found DragZen on the 17th and, from there, found Alyx’s tumblr. I also believe that from there they found Alyx’s twitter, which would give us something of a timeline so far. It certainly brings us to their angry post on the 17th, in any case.

It’s true that I identified them as Dipshit anon, but only after concluding that their URL was blanked out satisfactorily and only because Dipshit anon was the name I had been using from the beginning to identify the person that sent me a questionable ask and continue to load my blog afterwards.

The next part in 15 is just. Where do I begin? Even Dipshit is not sure whose anons I identified as theirs. As a matter of fact, I only identified Alyx’s. When Vess got statcounter, we compared data in the interest of accuracy (as I later did with Vergil), but none of this happened on my public twitter.

When Dipshit refers to Gillian receiving asks, I believe they are talking about this, which I did not confirm

Point 15/16 makes me really uncomfortable, for reasons I will come to at the end.

Here is them viewing my blog around about this time

S:  Okay, re: everything else now.

1. All right, if you didn’t consider that ask as being about Jumin then I’m fine with setting aside the idea that you lied about it. It was personally frustrating to me because I really don’t care what asks you sent about Jumin months ago, I was annoyed by the response to Louise’s way of handling the JuminZen asks from a couple of weeks ago. It’s pretty clear by now that you probably didn’t even have that JuminZen ask in mind the entire time all of this was happening, but that’s what I was thinking of in terms of everything else I posted. I have my thoughts on how the situation could’ve been handled differently by both you and me, but at this point I don’t think it matters anymore and in the interest of resolving things let’s call it a misunderstanding and move on. I already said I don’t really want to debate whether or not that ask would actually have started drama so I’m not going to.

2. I wasn’t aware of the timing of your post was after the DragZenWeek incident and not after the ask you sent Louise, but upon re-reading it makes a lot more sense in that context and I’m sorry for making assumptions. To ease your worries, Louise wasn’t stalking your blog. She has an app called StatCounter that allows her to see where people are accessing her blog from—that’s how she put together who it was that had sent her other messages prior to the JuminZen ask, and that’s how she was able to block your IP address. By the way, she also knows you’ve been bypassing her IP block to visit her blog these last few days.

I can understand why you were stressed, honestly. I disagree with the way you do a lot of things, but I’ll readily admit that I personally made a lot of assumptions that I didn’t have a real basis for making, and I’m sorry. I stand by my statement that no one claimed you were going around and harassing Jumin fans with asks, though.

To explain my own point of view, most of what was annoying *me* was that you were conflating responses to you with disliking you for liking Jumin. I can’t speak for anyone else, obviously, but I personally could not care less if you hate Jumin. Speaking for myself here, I’ve said multiple times that although Jumin is my favourite character, I’m completely sympathetic with the reasons people would have for hating him, and I’ve also said that I would never engage in a debate over him with someone who says Jumin reminds them of past abuse because that isn’t my place to speak. Most if not all of my friends have said the same or similar, and honestly, I don’t want friends that don’t have that attitude and when I dislike someone I make it pretty damn easy to tell. But you were accusing Louise of that, which I think is especially insensitive because Louise is also a survivor, and now you’re saying that you meant for all of that to apply to Alyx too—not that you need to know this, but Alyx heavily criticizes Jumin’s route for the exact reasons that you probably would. Again, it’s a very serious thing to accuse people of being abuse apologists, especially when you don’t know the situation.

I can’t speak for anyone else, but I’m sincerely sorry that you were hurt by my words yesterday, especially because some of the claims I was making were unfounded. Gossip is something I generally try to avoid, and I think this entire situation was a good reminder as to why I do that. I still don’t think this falls under the definition of bullying, but I do empathize with your perspective and I’m sorry for my involvement.

I’ll go back and delete any posts about this that were made by me. Here are my recommendations for you:

1. I don’t know if you have the extension XKit, but it allows you to blacklist certain words so that posts containing them don’t show up when you’re browsing tumblr, and it allows you to block posts that you dislike/don’t want to see. It’s a good tool to help you stay safe while navigating the site, and I think you should probably put Jumin’s name into it since you’ve mentioned that you find him severely upsetting.

2. Use the “anti” tags when you want to discuss character hate/critique, or don’t tag at all. It’s totally within your rights to critique a character, and using the anti tag means that anyone who chooses to interact with your post is consenting to do so knowing what they’ll be getting into. When you tag a post, you’re basically giving people permission to engage if they want to, so if you want to have a critical discussion about a character with like-minded people or people who disagree but are interested in having a discussion, that’s your way to do it. If you only want to discuss with like-minded individuals, you can throw on an “#I’m not interested in debating this” tag so people who disagree know to stay away. There’s a reason none of the DragZenWeek posts were tagged with Zen’s name and this is that reason.

3. This goes for both of us, but if you’re seeing something happening out of context, don’t assume that you know what the context is. You didn’t know what it was I was talking about when I discussed asks you sent, I didn’t know what you were talking about when you made that post (and I also assumed it was you sending the other asks, double bad on me). I don’t think I’ve anything more to say on this subject. If you do, feel free. Thank you for taking the time to contact me in spite of your social anxiety—I understand that that was hard to do and I appreciate it.

Dipshit Anon:

Thank you for your reply. I appreciate you clearing things up. I usually tag my posts with anti-Jumin, but at that time I was still emotional and defensive about things I previously mentioned, so I thought that tagging it would send a one time message to people that like Jumin to not harass survivors that feel uncomfortable with him about it. That’s all I wanted. It was a bad move on my part and I’ve gone and fixed it and I’m sorry.

I forgot to clarify these things - I didn’t think Alyx was being insensitive towards me being an abuse survivor - I made an error when constructing that sentence and it made it seem like I was including them in that statement. I just was upset because I was under the impression that they thought I was pathetic and attention seeking for my deleted post on DragZenWeek.

I can’t remember what exactly happened that made me say that thing about Louise being insensitive to abuse survivors and not liking me because I didn’t like Jumin, but that wasn’t about the JuminZen ask I sent or the previous one for February. It was something to do with her statement about me being attention seeking and seeing some responses to other people’s asks who criticized Jumin or something. I honestly can’t remember, and looking back at the post I don’t know why I said that, and I’m sorry.

I feel like a lot of this was due to misunderstandings by me and a little on the others sides and I reacted defensively and angrily to situations when I didn’t know the entire story. That just led to more statements and miscommunication on both sides and it spiraled out of control. Nevertheless, I apologize wholeheartedly and I appreciate you giving me a polite and courteous reply. I’ve been dealing with some tough stuff in real life for the past few months, including a traumatic brain injury, that’s clouded my judgement and made me more volatile and sensitive to criticism or what I misunderstand as negativity directed at me. I know that doesn’t excuse anything, but I just wanted to clarify that I’m not usually like this, and I usually keep to myself. I’m digressing, but I sincerely do apologize. I appreciate your clarification and will definitely do the the things you recommended. If you could, it would be very much appreciated if you could pass along my apology sentiments to everyone else that was involved. You don’t have to, and I’m not expecting them to forgive or unblock me or anything, I just want them to know that I am sorry and I’m usually a reasonable and nice person when not under extenuating circumstances.

Thank you again and I wish you the best.

Also - clarification about why I didn’t have Jumin’s name blacklisted - I’m on mobile Tumblr a lot, because it’s just easier for me to use because of a lot of convoluted reasons related to my learning disabilities and mental illnesses. But I do have them blacklisted on my computer, and when I’m on mobile if I see a particularly terrible hate post about Zen or a post that is praising Jumin but uses examples of Zen and why he comes up short in comparison, I’ll block that person. I usually don’t really care and avoid that stuff, but I have encountered several blogs in particular (none of which belong to you or any of your friends) that express extreme animosity towards people who say Jumin makes them uncomfortable or reminds them of past abuse. That’s kind of where that ask response was coming from. I just wanted people not to bug others who don’t like him. But it was done in the wrong way and I’m sorry. Also, I was only checking Louise’s blog because I was paranoid that she was going to post things about me and I wouldn’t be able to see them. I’m not going to do that anymore and I’m sorry.

And those blogs I mentioned that attack abuse survivors make numerous posts saying stuff like “if you say jumin made you uncomfortable I don’t like you” or “people who are triggered by jumin are the worst” and etc. Again, it wasn’t you or any of your friends, but some of those people who do that were really insensitive. I’m sorry for tagging the post though and getting y'all dragged into it.

Notes:-

There is a difference between EXPLAINING your actions where relevant and EXCUSING them. And excusing them is very much what’s happening here, given this phrasing:  I’m usually a reasonable and nice person when not under extenuating circumstances.

Disability or stress or emotion is not an extenuating circumstance for accusations of abuse apologism and stalking, nor is it an extenuating circumstance for repeatedly insisting on engaging in conversation with someone who has blocked you. It’s not an extenuating circumstance for flat out lying in some cases and manipulating the facts in others. It’s not an extenuating circumstance for listening on a conversation you aren’t included in and choosing to accuse the people having the conversation of bullying instead of asking for context.

Secondly, Dipshit’s comment here:  I forgot to clarify these things - I didn’t think Alyx was being insensitive towards me being an abuse survivor - I made an error when constructing that sentence and it made it seem like I was including them in that statement. I just was upset because I was under the impression that they thought I was pathetic and attention seeking for my deleted post on DragZenWeek.

Given the timeline we have so far, their post on the 17th, Alyx’s asks around that period and the traffic on my blog, I think it’s more accurate to suggest that they WERE including them and are backtracking.

Also in regards to this:  I can’t remember what exactly happened that made me say that thing about Louise being insensitive to abuse survivors and not liking me because I didn’t like Jumin, but that wasn’t about the JuminZen ask I sent or the previous one for February. It was something to do with her statement about me being attention seeking and seeing some responses to other people’s asks who criticized Jumin or something. I honestly can’t remember, and looking back at the post I don’t know why I said that, and I’m sorry.

Once again, given our timeline, the fact that if I called them attention seeking at all it wasn’t until after the 19th in replies to other people and Alyx and I chatted about Jumin on twitter on the 19th, I feel it’s fair to conclude that this could be a legitimate memory blank, but it’s more likely to be backtracking.

It’s also very clearly backtracking irt:  but that wasn’t about the JuminZen ask I sent or the previous one for February, when both are explicitly referenced in the post itself.

I usually don’t really care and avoid that stuff, but I have encountered several blogs in particular (none of which belong to you or any of your friends) that express extreme animosity towards people who say Jumin makes them uncomfortable or reminds them of past abuse.

This is the second (?) time they’ve angrily drawn other people into a conversation about unrelated topics and they have made posts about boycotting events, they tagged their hate only recently etc. I think it is fair to conclude from all evidence so far that they do care and they don’t avoid that stuff.

I’m on mobile Tumblr a lot, because it’s just easier for me to use because of a lot of convoluted reasons related to my learning disabilities and mental illnesses

I went back to count and Dipshit anon mentions their illnesses, injuries and more on seven separate occasions and always in the context of gaining pity, thereby shifting the power dynamics of the conversation.

Dipshit Anon remains blocked as of April 2017

As of 22nd of April 2017, they continue to load pages of my blog, despite their own statement that they would not:

Also, I was only checking Louise’s blog because I was paranoid that she was going to post things about me and I wouldn’t be able to see them. I’m not going to do that anymore and I’m sorry.

Also worth noting is that this traffic came through a t.co reference, which is the shortened url format from twitter.

In response to this, I made my tweets private again and removed the link to my blog from my twitter bio.

As of May 8th 2017,  they continue to load pages of my blog.

I believe this occurred because of a reblog of this post.

http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/160437244740/your-recent-reblog-made-me-realise-how-mistreated

As of the 10th of May, I receive traffic on a singular VxMC-centric fic from Dipshit (the location). This traffic recurs over several days right up until the 14th.

I do not usually receive traffic from Dipshit the location with this amount of frequency. I also knew that Dipshit the person had been browsing my blog. This put them on my radar.

On May 15th 2017, I learned of this ask on Void’s blog 

http://vo-dcc.tumblr.com/post/160686201606/i-saw-you-were-one-of-the-artists-for-the-zen

(screenshot).

At the time, I had my suspicions that Dipshit might be involved and a brief check on their posts that day reveals that Dipshit did intend to submit to the fanzine.

 (Link)

https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/160685696123/zen-fanzine-project

At approximately 9am that morning, I receive traffic from them on statcounter.

The interesting thing about this is that at first I was not entirely sure why this traffic happened. I do not reference anything about this incident on my blog until approximately midday, when I reblog Void’s answer to a second ask. 

http://vo-dcc.tumblr.com/post/160688531186/the-creator-of-the-zen-fanzine-did-clarify-that

(Screenshot) (Here is the time stamp of when I actually reblogged it)

From 8.30am onwards, Void and I were talking privately about the situation, at which point (a little before this conversation) 

Void referenced typing out a long post, which likely became the one they later posted. (Having chatted to Void, they later confirmed that it was in fact, already posted by the time of that screen.) This creates something of a potential timeline of Dipshit seeing the post shortly after it was posted and following through to my blog shortly afterwards. (Note: I believe I was not the only one to receive this treatment, but I’ll get to that later)

In any case. I asked Void to check if they were blocked by Dipshit and it later transpired that they were. 

I encouraged Void to get Statcounter, we compared notes and here is a full compilation of all traffic 

  from  

Dipshit received within the first day of installation. (Pls note that the date is different because of time zones. I live in Britain and for me these times are in the evening of the 15th. US people would be even further back in the day)

Here is a screen of Dipshit later admitting to sending both asks covered so far to Void

Note that I said I was not the only person whose blog potentially received attention from Dipshit as a result of Void’s posts. I believe that Dipshit actually went through the blogs of several people who either commented or expressed support for Void over the course of those few hours spanning from when they first received an ask to the 9am response.

This would not only fall in line with current evidence at hand, but also their actions in April.

Exhibit a

, exhibit b

, and exhibit c

(link)

https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/160688548033/lmao-i-just-found-out-that-this-gross-person-who

 (I’m coming back to this one later)

Also take note of this reblog by user setthestarsxonfire.

https://setthestarsxnfire.tumblr.com/post/160686536882/i-saw-you-were-one-of-the-artists-for-the-zen

 (Screenshot)

They made a post a short time afterwards, further going into their feelings on the matter

 (link)

https://setthestarsxnfire.tumblr.com/post/160687270552/please-guys-dont-go-hating-on-another-person

Afterwards, they received three asks (ask a,

  ask b

and c

) (link to a,

https://setthestarsxnfire.tumblr.com/post/160689487552/juzen-is-an-abusive-ship-its-unhealthy-and

  link to b

https://setthestarsxnfire.tumblr.com/post/160690376012/oh-my-gooooodddd-did-you-just-say-that-zen-needs

, link to c

https://setthestarsxnfire.tumblr.com/post/160691061357/i-only-replied-to-part-of-your-response-because)

When reviewing statcounter data, it’s clear that Dipshit reviews the #notes of posts and flits from one blog to another.

While this was happening, I was in conversation with user mariamagica, having seen them comment on Void’s post that they knew who was sending the anons. Considering that this was the same person who had liked my tweet about Dipshit Anon way back in April, I was curious to know what they knew and if we had any shared experiences.

It transpired that Dipshit was so well known to them and had caused them so much bother that they were able to reference them by name within a matter of seconds. They sent me this screenshot sent to the askbox of the Juminzen week blog.

Mariamagica had them blocked, but I encouraged them to get statcounter and here is their Dipshit traffic from the 15th.

A short time after this, Vess and Jun confirm that Dipshit followed them that same day.

Dipshit continues to lurk my blog.

Having gone over the events of the day, I made a post at 18:46 my time. This is a soft warning and a pre-emptive call out. Up until this point I had not said anything about Dipshit anon publicly on my tumblr, but I was running increasingly low on patience. I blocked them in February and kept the details to myself at the time, but they continued. In April, we resolved it peacefully but they continued. At this point they were on strike three.

In my post, I listed three examples of asks from Dipshit. 

http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/160701054230/attn-mysme-fandom

These were all examples I could confidently attribute to Dipshit and as it gained so many reblogs, I gained 

  a

    lot of traffic  

  from Dipshit 

in that period.

This traffic extends to my personal blog

I received an ask 

http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/160703102265/hi-im-not-looking-to-start-drama-and-am-here-on

(screenshot, including timestamp of receipt)

-Dipshit on my blog in that exact same time frame? Check

-Not my ask but trying to pull the high ground with me about it anyway? Check

-“Please consider the abuse victims!!1″ To a survivor? Check.

-Sending a really questionable anon in general? Check.

After my response saying that if I received any more messages I would reply with their URL, Serena got a message from Dipshit, complaining that I should apologise to their friend 

for blaming them for things Dipshit had done.

This earns the biggest of sighs and rolliest of eyes from me and there are hundreds of things I could say about it, such as the sheer unlikeliness of a random mysme blogger I have never heard of before (and incidentally never blocked) showing up to send me an ask with the precise same objections as Dipshit while Dipshit is on my blog, all while having no involvement with what Dipshit is doing. Even Dipshit acknowledged they were friends and went so far as to link their Zen centric blog.

They later post the following screens to their blog, which confirm that they sent these 

asks to Stars and encouraged another person to send more: 1

,2

,3

,4

Also. This is what a receipt for blocking looks like.

However, if a chat is what’s going these days, here’s a chat

between the mods of JuminZen week 

discussing whether or not to block 

Dipshit, drafting a response and discovering they were already blocked, 

as forwarded to me by mariamagica <3

I’m especially interested by the use of the word “demonise”. Demonise only makes sense in terms of me addressing Dipshit and publishing their URL, neither of which have anything to do with their friend…who up until that message was anonymous in this conversation.

User setthestarxonfire also receives two

https://setthestarsxnfire.tumblr.com/post/160705202992/hi-there-i-just-wanted-to-check-aside-from-any

https://setthestarsxnfire.tumblr.com/post/160706326042/thanks-for-your-kind-response-and-for-being-so

asks about this in much the same vein with identical phrasing. (screenshot one) (screenshot two)

You may recall I referenced user capitolscum. That is the personal of mmscum, who I was also in touch with at this time. Through the reblogs of my Attn:-Mysme fandom post, I became aware that they too had received strange anons.

As it happened, Scum had received three anonymous asks. One

, Two

and Three

(Links: One, Two and Three)

https://mmscum.tumblr.com/post/160542799049/you-should-read-jealous-wolf-by

https://mmscum.tumblr.com/post/160544142294/i-meant-what-isnt-his-its-a-little-odd-to-say

https://mmscum.tumblr.com/post/160556930029/anonhave-you-read-either-of-those-fics-if-you

This prompted the following essay:- 1,

2,

3,

4,

5,

6,

7,

8,

9,

10,

11,

12

Which corresponded with this review on AO3 (Please zoom)

This coincides with this ask 

and this response from Scum (part one and two)

It also prompted this chat (part one)(part two)

I’m including this chat for the sole reason that this is how Dipshit described it post call out

It’s unclear what exact fic Dipshit is referring to, though Scum believes the comment they’re referring to is this one, on a fic exploring Zen’s recovery as a survivor of a traumatic incident prior to the first chapter.

There’s also this post 

https://mmscum.tumblr.com/post/160144676634/i-love-my-followers-but-this-is-the-first-time

addressing negativity in fandom (screenshot here),

 to which Dipshit anon responded twice (one, two) 

(links)

http://mmscum.tumblr.com/tagged/vallanoble

I’m including this for the sheer ridiculousness of the fact that it happened two weeks ago and shows them discouraging their own behaviour.

Scum, post callout, received this review on the same fic

Considering both the linguistical patterns and the complaints both matched Dipshit, we did a bit of investigating and if this is a coincidence it’s a very unfortunate one.  

And now we arrive at the 16th of May.

Void gets notifications from Dipshit

and their reaction 

speaks for itself.

Remember this?

Void is 17. Younger than Dipshit and a minor.

I have 

multiple visits 

from 

Dipshit that day (Is it worth me even saying it at this point? Whatever)

Here is Mariamagica’s traffic for that day (All of the ones from the university are Dipshit)

17th of May, today!

Dipshit 

is active 

on my blog and Void’s 

(The one blacked out the most.)

Scum passes on their statcounter data to me and Dipshit is not only a visitor 

but recently went through the notes of this post

http://mmscum.tumblr.com/post/160736788924/mmscum-mmscum-i-love-my-followers-but-this-is

which somewhat ironically was partially inspired by their actions.

Considering this fact and the fact that they visit my blog in the wake of this reblog

http://fromthedeskofelizabeththird.tumblr.com/post/160765050395/fandom-commandments

(statcounter)

their subsequent blog post becomes slightly more interesting.

(Screenshot one)

 (Screenshot two)

 (link to post)

https://vallanoble.tumblr.com/post/160777864913/if-your-let-people-ship-what-they-want-uwu

It’s past midnight now and I’m about to go to bed. I have only one thing to say on this matter, however.

The adage that the internet is not your safe space is not a suggestion that it should not be safe. It means that the internet is not the safe place of any individual person. It belongs to all of us and there is going to be opinions, ships, characters etc you do not like personally. But it is NO ONE’s job to keep you safe but your own. It’s nobody else’s responsibility to write characters as you see them. It’s no one else’s job to keep the content you don’t like off your radar or create the content that you do. There’s no justification for treating real people badly over fictional things.

A few other notes post call out:-

Dipshit remains blocked. Here is a screenshot of a message they sent to me the day after I posted the call out (part one)

(part two)

from a new blog designed to collect receipts (this is not hyperbole: screen shot one

and two

). This blog has since been deleted.  

I am not a shipper of Juzen and so bad behaviour within the community is not something I would know of immediately or in much depth, however:

Dipshit considers an anti Juzen week to educate the homophobic women who ship it.

This is an interesting one, as it coincides with the appearance of the blog juzenisgross, which specifically posted excerpts from Why does he do that (a book about abusive relationships and domestic violence) in the juzen tags on the first day of juzen week.

This is a loose thread on its own. However. This is the time stamp of the first post on the blog.

This is Dipshit on my blog.

Once again, possibly coincidence, but incredibly unfortunate if so.

Here is Dipshit continuing to send lengthy messages to content creators 1,

2,

3,

4,

5,

6,

7 

along with her refusal to blacklist tags

[vividlyvic]

thoughts on abby lee miller going to jail and dance moms reaction

abby got a real lenient time sentence. she really won't be forgotten and probably be making news for something. she'll also come out real skinny. if anything, this is the long awaited break she needed to possibly reflect on some of her choices which led to harming others emotionally. still, we cannot forget that karma is a real thing. abby indeed got her dose of it for her erratic behavior. the mothers rejoicing are about to get their dose of karma as well. those mothers willingly stayed on a show KNOWING abby's behavior was outrageous. they were stuck in a lengthy contract, however, not until season 2. they could've left after season 1, and mind you, these ladies had been with abby nearly a decade prior. kelly GREW UP under abby and even had her own dance studio competing against hers, yet found herself at the ALDC over and over again. christie and abby has said that she was on her way out prior to the show due to abby's treatment, but used her daughter's bond with the girls as a reason to stay. melissa willingly and undoubtedly stayed and benefitted greatly because of it. holly is probably the only one who didn't know what she got herself into, because she was working. still, she remained on the show and consistently tried to impose her will on abby but never gave her credit for when she was trying to include nia. the other moms watched the show, was on her competition show, LOVED her, but will go ahead and throw her under the bus. they were well aware of what abby was going through but would do season after season bitching about things they KNEW abby didn't have her focus on. She's said so many times before, she was done with you once you're a teen, so why the constant back and forth? all of these moms are being the terrible examples for their kids that abby always pointed out. they don't rise above. they're petty, bitter, and spiteful. now i might revel in justice being served to a murderer or rapist, but never simply bc i despised the person. my hate does not bring more love or show others to love who you hate. i think minister dawn is very hypocritical considering her title. she probably used God to justify it too. if you really think about it, these moms are upset because of their daughters confidence being tarnished when they are the ones who allowed it. they are upset bc abby never gave them their way when you rly wouldnt have a say at any other dance studio or even a hollywood job for that matter. they knew what they were getting themselves into. projection is real. they all dump their problems on abby--especially kira, holly, christie and kelly--when their daughters are MILLIONAIRES because of her. they can think it was their daughters who made the show all they want, but the only one making a name for themselves OUTSIDE of Lifetime and social media, is maddie (who owes abby the most respect, so i really want to know what went down between the zieglers and abby). the moms let fame get to them and became entitled af. they leave and turn their backs on her and accuse her of using them when they were using her all the while. they wanted to quit but have the focus still be on them. they didnt have the balls to quit the show and not return. even christie rid on the shows last wave. it's bc of abby she could even return. if the drama wasn't apparent between the two it wouldnt happen. all in all if the moms don't care that's fine. but to post your party bc of it makes them just as disgusting. those moms have ALL said disgusting things towards abby and about her but we don't get to hear it. they get to save face and use abby as the scapegoat. if only they realized their daughters fame is on the downfall during this jail sentence. none are interesting enough to keep an eye on without the show. not even maddie. brynn, ashley, the minis, sarah, etc. know the true meaning of getting to know someone beyond the monster they present. i commend them. shit even cathy was an adult about the situation. i don't think people grasp what jail is truly like.

[felinehypocritical]

what abt like... a rly fluffy sickfic with richie and bill, like richie gets a cold and bill has to take care of him and deal with him sneezing and coughing but still trying to do the Voices even tho his voice is wrecked and making them 10x worse (im a sucker for rly heavy fluff I apologize)

ask and ye shall receive, anon.

Bill pushed the door open hesitantly, padding into the Tozier household with a quiet unknown to the family living in it. He heard Maggie Tozier, from the kitchen, yelling at the television in a manner that he found vaguely frightening.

“Finish him! Finish the son of a- oh, hello, William!” Maggie looked up from the television she was watching, her stylish hair and apron-dress completely offsetting her boorish nature. “Are you here to see Richie?”

“Yuh-yes, Mrs. Tuh-T-Tozier.” Bill looked up with a disarming smile, catching the mother off guard. She’d never seen a thirteen year old boy with even half as much charisma as her son, and this boy surely beat Richard out by a mile. “He d-d-didn’t come to schoo-ool today. I-is he oh-okay?”

The woman looked on in the concern of one who has to listen to a stutterer– it was such a shame, she thought, that such a bright and handsome young boy such as Bill to be cursed with such a thing. He wouldn’t ever get his ideas out with that mouth. “Yes, dear. But I’m afraid he’s-”

Bill was already bounding up the stairs, and he didn’t hear the rest of that sentence. He pushed to door open hurriedly to his friend’s room, dashing in and looking around.

“Ruh-Richie?” He called hesitantly, before his short friend made himself known.

“I’m right here, dingus!” Richie said in a scratchy, very not Richie voice. Bill swung his head around and quickly saw Richie, narrowing his eyes. Richie looked very pallid– well, more pallid than usual- and his black hair popped against his sickly skin. ‘Because that’s what he is,’ Bill realized quickly. ‘The dumbass got sick.’ He smirked.”What, Bill, you wanna take a picture?”

Bill shook his head, only sitting on the side of his bed and looking at Richie with a cocktail of pity and exasperation. “Richie, y-you wet,” he teased. “Wh-who got you sick?”

Richie coughed loudly, a crackling, wet sound that made Bill cringe, and tried out his Toodles the Butler Voice. “Well, just a little old chap down the way, wasn’t it? Or maybe a hun, mmyes? Per’aps it was you, my good man. By God, it WAS you! Someone arrest this man! I say! He’s gotten me, a man of ‘igh esteem, dreadfully, ‘orribly si-” he was cut off by another round of coughs, and Bill drew him into his chest. Richie immediately nestled closer upon contact, burrowing until he was practically flat against his friend. Bill grimaced at the tought of getting Richie-sick on his new shirt, and pounded on Richie’s back.  “It was that bitch Taylor Sullivan,” he admitted. “I was playing ball with him and he dared me to eat the rest of his popsicle, so I did, but I guess he had the flu, because now I’ve, y’know, got it.”

Bill snorted, getting up and looking with a critical eye at Richie. His short, thin body was covered in a Muppets t-shirt that was much too big– so big, in fact, that he’d keep it well into adulthood and it would still hang on him. But especially now, with the hem reaching his scabbed knees, he looked immeasurably small. He was also wearing a pair of gym shorts, but they were only visible when he writhed and squirmed under the pressure of his coughing fits. And yet, in spite of the phlegm and sickness and sneezing, Richie’s lively curly black hair still fanned out in a halo behind his head and his smile was still wide and bright. Bill thought in that moment, in a gross, Richie way, that he looked lovely, laid out on his wrinkled covers with his tousled hair and pink cheeks. The illusion was broken when he opened his mouth.

“Bill,” he said, drawing it out in a grainy, shrill noise. “I want soup.”

“So g-get some sou-oup,” Bill said, amiably enough.

Richie pouted and shook his head. “No, no– soup from YOU.”

“I’m n-nuh-not fetching you suh-soup, Rich.”

He fell back on his bed, gagging and pretending to choke dramatically. “Yes you will! You because I’m dying! Do you want me to die? Don’t you LOVE me?”

Bill shook his head. “Sometimes I’m not so sure…”

Except he was. He loved Richie with all his heart and soul, just as he loved the Losers, but… Different. The way he knew Ben loved Beverly, but less… Mushy. He was thirteen, after all, and mushy things such as romance didn’t exactly cross his mind, especially when in the question of his best GUY friend. Bu he couldn’t deny how he felt. And, after all, he always reasoned. If no one knows, does it really matter? No. And certainly, nobody knew.

Richie sat up. “Oh, you love me, you tricksy Billy goat, you.”

“S-stop calling me Buh-b-buh-hilly goat.”

“Stop being so stubborn and get me some soup.”

They stared a eachother for a moment, Bill’s face set and irritated, Richie’s smug and defiant, before Richie sighed dramatically. “FINE, I guess. Your loss, I would have let you feed me.”

“Oh, b-boy,” Bill replied. “I shuh-sure am mih-hissing out.”

“Indeed you are, mushmouth…” Richie looked Bill up and down, seemingly with approval, before continuing: “come up here and cuddle me.”

Bill jumped back. “N-no way! Y-you’re sick!”

“That, true, that’s true.” Richie pretended to be in deep contemplation, touching his hands to his nose before pointing them at Bill. “So… get up here, or…?”

Bill sighed, knowing there was only one way to stop him from whining more.

He climbed up to Richie, flipping him over, before sliding in behind him and wrapping an arm around his waist. He threaded the other hand through Richie’s hair, smiling slightly at the interested sound he made before starting to brush it out. The snarls caught between his fingers, but Richie didn’t seem to mind. Bill felt happy, content, carefree… Until Richie started to cough. He began to convulse, as usually happens with strong coughs, and his whole body moved Bill’s as well. He arched his back away from Bill in an attempt to get free, and Bill thumped on his back until he stopped.

“B-Buh-Better?” Bill asked, looking concernedly at Richie. Was he okay? What was wrong with this kid?

Richie coughed one last time, before looking at Bill seductively from beneath his eyelids and tried out a sultry, Jessica Rabbit like voice that just sounded like RIchie talking through a mouthful of gravel and syrup. “Now that you’re here, sweets.”

Bill pushed him off, laughing slightly and turning the other way. Richie quickly flopped over, hugging the taller boy tight and making Bill grin wider at the feeling of Richie’s arms and legs snake around him and hold tight. Richie might be an idiot… but he was a sick idiot.

Bill’s sick idiot.

[yarrowleef-babbles]

anyway I'm at the end of my impulsive grishaverse binge. The King of Scars duology was fun to read and I enjoyed it.. It was also dumb as hell. But honestly I am here for a good time not a...idk, sensible time. Look I’ve been reading almost nothing but warrior cats for over a decade, clearly my standards are low and I can handle a lot of nonsense and still enjoy the ride

 (but rly I still don’t know why the Darkling returning is a thing at all. He’s just a less intimidating shadow of his former self. He went out in a blaze of glory and however he goes out the second time is going to be underwhelming in comparison. I literally KEPT FORGETTING HE WAS AROUND during Rule of Wolves until his POV chapters came up because everything else felt like a more pressing threat, meanwhile he was just. There. Dicking around. I forgot. the *DARKLING* was around. That’s almost impressive. He just came across as so pathetic compared to the constantly looming threatening force he used to be. There were so many enemies and problems to face with the Fjerdans and everything else, why even add him? I feel like I would have rather the main problem just being fixing the mess he left behind, and have Nikolai figure out some other way to solve the fold and his demon problem, considering Lantsov kings being dumb is part of what enabled the Darkling for so long to begin with. He could fix the remaining scars of their biggest mistake before retiring the Lantsov line. Idk, that would require a rewrite since apparently whatever is happening with the Darkling is going to motivate the next plot, but all that junk about the magic tree just felt. Tacked on rather then woven in? if that makes sense? considering how often I kept forgetting about him I feel like it would have been better to just....Let Nikolai have the focus in fixing this issue, no Darkling meddling needed. Darkling stays dead while we struggle with the ghosts and damage he left behind, and he left A LOT behind, he doesn’t need to literally be here as well. I Do NOT want him to get any sort of redemption arc. he Does Not Need One. Can’t we just let him go I’ve had enough of this dude) 

Next point, I am surprisingly fine with Queen Zoya, I think the duology did a good job setting both of them up for this when I look back on it, although it did catch me by surprise at first. Her turning into a LITERAL DRAGON???

lissen, I Do Not understand the fantasy rules of this world at all sometimes, sometimes it feels like crazy things Just Happen when plot needs it, and its felt that way ever since Shadow and Bone (like last book with the Saint Sand Castle. JESUS CHRIST what was ANY OF THAT I feel like I got transported into a different series I kept putting down the book to whisper-yell ‘what the fuck is happening right now’ to myself, I STILL do not really understand how those people were alive, how their magic worked, or where they were, their explanation didn’t make sense)

 but look. Look, sometimes I also Do Not Care, dragon Zoya was SICK AS HELL. You can be as dumb as you want if you’re also sick and hell while doing it, thems the rules!!!

Neutral on the Nikolai/Zoya relationship. It’s fine, w/e. That’s my stance on most MC romances so shrug.

ANYWAY if I’m honest with myself the Crows are my main true emotional investment in this universe so everything else that happens with other characters is kind of a “yeah ok I guess this is happening now, whatever” one way or another. But my crows. I adore their banter. I loved their appearance, even if it was mostly unnecessary fanservice. I miss them all so much.

I have no interest in investing myself in book fandom culture (it seems like its just...not my scene) I’m vaguely aware that Hanne and Nina’s relationship is controversial. (i’m vaguely aware a lot about this duology is controversial but I don’t know everyone elses reasons as to why, though I have some guesses). And Listen, I can totally 100% sympathize if you are someone who was at all emotionally invested in the helnik ship, even though its been over a year in book time, from the reader perspective Matthias like, just died. And to have Nina immediately thrust into a new meet-cute so quickly while she’s literally standing over his fresh grave?? Yeah I get why that might sting a bit. 

I, however, am not rly a helnik stan, in fact the handling of Matthias and Nina’s relationship was by far my LEAST favorite part of the SoC duology, an awkward frustrating stain on books I otherwise adored so much. Their relationship started off making me wildly uncomfortable (I have a lot of complicated and frustrated feelings about Matthias in general, I think i’ll probably end up making an overly long post complaining about him later on) and though it got a bit better in Crooked Kingdom, it still only reached “I guess I will tolerate this” levels, and then he died before i could finish reconciling with it so. I'm just left frustrated by the whole thing.

For me, her relationship with Hanne felt way more natural and less uncomfortable, yes even if its less ~dramatic~ then almost dying together in the arctic.. (I always felt like she and Matthias were attracted to each other in SPITE of who they are rather then BECAUSE of who they are you know? i just don't love that as a basis for a relationship It’s...ugh look again Matthias is a whole can of worms for me, I can’t get into it right now. It just doesn’t do it for me. I never understood Nina’s attraction to Matthias, so being better then that is a low bar for me. ) I’m not head-over heels with Nina/Hanne or anything, but I like it just fine and I think Hanne is a neat character.

I didn’t think Nina could carry a storyline on her own, but I was surprisingly often more invested in her then Zoya and Nikolai? I was only neutral to her in six of crows, I liked her, but less then the others....... mainly again because she was So Wrapped Up In Matthias Whomst I Do Not Exactly Love that it was hard to appreciate her on her own. I’m glad I got the chance to focus on her and grow to like her as an individual. 

 Maybe her crow status gives her my bias, or honestly maybe I just like high risk spy stuff that felt like it had more immediate danger and stakes every moment to her rather then the more big-but-impersonal concern for a whole country and the exhausting political complications of ruling Ravka, which is what Zoya and Nikolai were often grappling with. I still liked that storyline, but my personal preference is with Nina’s type of stakes (thats probably just another reason why I liked the SoC duology most in the grishaverse)

Which aaaaaaaaaaah, leads me to what is for ME causing the most emotionally charged Issues with the end of this book!!!! It’s probably not the biggest issue objectively, but I am not feeling objective right now, I am feeling emotional! While I think the Darkling returning is dumb, I have less emotional investment in him and the characters surrounding him so that, even though I dont exactly like it, I don’t really mind that much what happens to him, I’m willing to follow the story down whatever nonsensical rabbit hole it wants to go

but WOW I am I NOT a fan of Nina suddenly being the queen of fjerda??????HUGELY MASSIVLEY NOT A FAN OF THAT MY DUDES.  And not just beause it came out of left field (which is most certainly did).

i mean people more articulate then me have already probably talked about why this is a miserable future for her, so. that bites.

idk, no end to this post, just lots of words

[celestialallstars]

Episode #16: “Well, this is the end folks.” - Stephen

I WANT TO QUIT

I AM GOING TO QUIT

MICHAEL DESERVED BETTER HE WAS MY FUCKING F2 AND BEST FRIEND IN THIS GAME AND IM SO FUCKINF MAD I LOVE HIM WITH MY WHOLE HEART HE DESERVES WAY BETTER THAN THIS FUCK THIS CASST SO MUCH I CANT STOP FUCKING CRYING

#FuckChris

FUCK THIS CAST FUCK THIS CAST FUCK THIS CAST FUCK THIS CAST FUCK THIS CAST FUCK THIS CAST FUCK THIS CAST FUCK THIS CAST FUCK THIS CAST FUCK THIS CAST FUCK THIS CAST FUCK THIS CAST

EITHER IM QUITTING OR IM WINNING OUT OF SPITE WATCH THIS SPACE

Feel like pure shit just want Michael back

Bryce messaging me like “hey bowling ball” SHUT UR FUCKING FACE BRYCE DO NOT START TRYING TO TALK TO ME RN I AM MAD AT YOU

I MADE FINAL FIVE AND I HAVE AN IDOL I LEARNED MY MISTAKES IM MAKING FINAL FOUR I BEAT MY PLACEMENT WOOO I makin sure history dont be repeating doe

Alrighty, I am hoping that one of Chloe or Zach leaves this round. I dont know how the idol is going to go but I think Chloe's the safest bet for us as I still feel Zach could have it. Still, I can't risk a Loris situation so I would prefer it if Stephen won immunity. I do feel bad for him and I just hope he still trusts me even if I lost a little last night. Right now I think if Crystal Clear is the F4 then it could do a lot of good if anyone but Bryce wins it but I hope Stephen is wanting to go to the end still now

So, THAT happened. Chris lied and sided with Bryce and Zach instead of splitting like we planned! Greeaaaaaat.

He says it happened shortly before tribal, but when he told me his reason, he said it was because of Michael attempting to make an F3 deal, which is something that happened the day before.

I did have an interesting chat with Zach where he said me and him are essentially seen as Chris and Bryce's +1's and our chances of winning sitting next to them might be pretty low based on that perception. Obviously I want Bryce out before Chris, but I need to start realistically thinking of cutting Chris at some point. He did go behind my back here and staying blindly loyal despite that just seems foolish. He said he'd use the idol on me this round which is great and all, but if Bryce wins immunity... well... what are my options? Honestly the best case scenario is me or Chris winning immunity just so we can be sure about playing the idol on the one who loses and voting Bryce out.

I hope that bad scenario doesn't have to play out, but let's just say at this point I think Zach and Chloe are my best possible F3. Which is interesting considering I just tried to get Zach out!

It does kinda suck to hear Michael say what he said. I get he was upset but like I dunno. It didnt help but at the same time I don't feel too bad knowing that he made an f3 without me in it. My hope was that it makes the others think more on NOT bringing me to the end so I want to use it to my advantage as much as I can to still win it all if its possible

This vote has been so messy it's ridiculous. I know Chris has the idol and is likely playing it on himself, so I'm trying to get Zach and Chloe to throw their vote on him so me and Chris can decide who goes. I was considering actually voting him out for a bit but I don't think that's feasible without their being an imminent reason for him to use the idol on someone else.

So I told Chloe and Zach the plan, and I told Bryce the plan was Chloe and used idol-fear as my fake reason. Hopefully it's a strong enough justification for him to buy it and just vote for her, but he's immune so he personally has nothing to fear tonight. It's been a hard day and I hope everything pans out as I expect and I'm not on the bad end of all the plans LOL.

im in f4 wooh but no chance at winning i think im gonna be blindsided by zach tonight so thats fun if chris goes im legit over but idk how to fix that i ened to make sure chris votes stephen with me but idt he will

________________________________________________________________

Chloe: How does michael leaving impact the game?

Michael leaving the game probably means it’s a bit more open for people to make moves and shake things up even more which is TERRIFYING. In my eyes Michael had a lot of control over people that was going unnoticed.

go to an optometrist queen

im trying to do stuff but who knows oh well LOL SDGMLKDSGKDSGKDMSKGDSK i want chris out but he probs has idol all i know is unless theres an idol nullifier i be makin f4 tho

________________________________________________________________

Chloe is voted out 2-2-1. She becomes the eighth member of our jury.

Watch Chloe’s exit interview take place below:

________________________________________________________________

Welp! I've survived probably my closest call all game. I wish I could make it to the end while being targeted a bit less but I can settle for this. Anyway, selecting Chloe to be my target ended up being the correct decision, since she was the only person other than me who could be targeted. I'm so close to the end again, and the people still in don't see me as much of a winner threat. I hope they're wrong sksksksksksks

I think winning this immunity challenge and being the reason Bryce goes home could boost my odds quite a bit, but I need to be ready for the possibility of not winning the immunity challenge as well. Still, I have F2 deals with Chris and Zach, so that's another reason to avoid wanting to choose between them here. No reason to make anyone madder than they need to be.

I guess a lot is riding on the last comp and I enjoy it because it does show how it isn't clear cut as far as what will happen next.

ok so results in 2.5 hours and i know im not winning its so sad but its just sth that i have to face. i tried my hardest at endurance but fell alseep. before and after.. i have no brain. counting? literally my least fave thing on orgs the actual anxiety it gives me is unreal. winterbells???? anyways. the puzzle prob the only thign i can do alright at and i just know zach beat me at it too. and like just like my og season i feel like if i dont win i go home.at least there i dont think maynor would have voted me but here i dont have a maynor and i will get 3-1'd even tho i dont think its the right move like ugh this is so sad i rly just wanted to show i deserved my win and my spot on all stars and i cant even win final immunity its so embarrassing why do i even play orgs this will be my last mark my WORDS going out on one of my fave orgs ever will be cute anyway yay wooh haha im so random...

________________________________________________________________

im so sad like im depressed this sucks im gonna get 3-1'd for WHAT why wont zach take me what could i have done differently except be better at immunity like ive had no agency since f9 rhys blindside and its like that has been annoying but it was always with the end goal being yes i may not have gotten to play how i wanted to but at least ill make ftc how cute. but  i dont even get to do that and its like ppl just say i was a shield well i have feelings and i dont like being used as a shield why am i so melodramatic its literally an online game but im just tired of being used and thrown away and so what if ive listened to liability 10 times since i woke up this morning that has nothing to do with me feeling like im a toy that ppl grow bored of.

Its been one heck of a rollercoaster but I have a little faith for this last tribal.  I was sad to have lost the final challenge but I feel it can perhaps help my overall game if Im able to make it to the final three. With that in mind, its time to enact my final plan. While I have openly acknowledged Bryce's threat level to people I sorta was in need of certain things falling into place- Zach winning was the first part even if it would have been nice for Stephen/myself. Now is the part I pretty much spell it out for him that taking Bryce not only equals less jury votes but also could take votes that Zach would have since Bryce is viewed as the stronger of the duo. I basically have to make Zach be fully on board to get out his biggest threat to winning.

________________________________________________________________

As for Bryce, it was nice to play with him but I do hope he is serious about voting Stephen because it then guarantees that not only am I safe but that I can get him out. Alas Justice4Mitch has never died but if I can pull it off after basically convincing Bryce I was not against him while also just painting Zach as a necessary meat shield then I have a chance! I dunno how it would go down with the jury but thats moot until I see "18th person voted out and the final member of the jury...@Bryce"

So I made a bit of a mistake last night. Zach won immunity and I assumed it was pretty clear Bryce was gonna go 3-1 no strings attached, and I told him my reasons for voting him. Bryce isn't giving up though. He came up with a plan with Chris to get Zach to put his vote on Chris, and then the 2 of them vote me out. It's not the craziest idea I've ever heard which is why I think I made a mistake telling Bryce the truth.

Knowing this, I went to Zach and told him everything about this plan. Hopefully it makes Zach too gun-shy to consider voting for Chris and, since I don't think he wants me out that only leaves Bryce as an option. I wish I was immune and had nothing to worry about but here we are! If Bryce can dig himself out of this he'll have a really good shot to win though. And Chris/Zach have to be aware of that.

im livid im depressed and my hair is such a mess.

this is likely my penultimate confessional [that is lengthy] so here we go.

i won immunity. im so happy. I MADE FINAL TRIBAL!! even if i lose, i still made it here, in an allstar season - which is just phenomenal. top 3 out of 21... WOO! and i beat my placement and improved my game (in my subjective opinion) and so i feel like i got what i wanted out of this game. i didn't even need the immunity tbh but.. it's just a relief to have it because it secures my game and allows me a bit more control than the average person at F4.

when it comes to the vote, i think the frontrunners are chris + bryce. i think neither are a cut-and-dry win, but i think they are the two people that the jury is currently praising to a degree. it's also known that those two are on the chopping block for this round, and i believe i'm in a swing vote position (stephen/chris voting bryce, bryce voting chris - i can tie it or send bryce home).

this is where it becomes tricky. i love all these people, especially bryce. he's my best friend and we've been through this game hand in hand. i would love to see him win, and i would prefer him as a victor over stephen/chris (no offence to them, just as personal taste obviously). but, i think he's an obstacle for me come FTC. the jury has perceived me to be his goat (or just a follower of his), and while that's not true (both bryce and i have played briefly separate games and have taken some control at varying points), perception matters a lot. like, it's not reality - but it is critical to who wins this game. so i think i need to do my utmost best to reverse that perception.

my main strategy throughout merge (and i mentioned this in early confessionals) was to highlight bryce as a bigger threat [giving him another challenge win, hyping him up to people, etc.] so that in our inevitably perceived duo, he would be the bigger fish to fry. while at times this failed (ie f8 when I was the target of the split vote), i fixed it by ensuring jared's elimination because he was the person keeping bryce alive and that was awareness!! woo!! but overall, with the whole "shield strategy", it becomes redundant imo if you take that shield to FTC. bryce, as someone who's been consistently targeted (him and i both tbh), if he gets to the end, that becomes so impressive. even if he hasn't made many moves or whatever, it's that underdog-like story that likely ensures him the gold in my eyes. i would love to see him win!! he's the best candidate (on a personal level) to be sandra diaz-twine (though he's being so fat to me right now, as i am to him though). but i feel like my prominent strategy only ever comes into fruition if i eliminate him, and that's where i'm leaning (and he knows that).

while chris could win (or even stephen, i won't exclude him), it's all a risk. if they do, then good game!! but i think ive played to a great standard and have proven myself, and i've shown divergence from bryce and others and while some moves failed, i attempted to be flexible and that in and of itself speaks a lot! woo!! this is a deserving final four imo (higher than average for most final ours). this allstar season has been hectic, every vote being so diverse, so regardless of the final outcome, it's an achievement that us four made it here.

i could be majorly misinterpreting this game as a whole, but who cares. chris and stephen are both great speakers, so it'll be a tossup in that regard, but i just have to do what's best. maybe i vote out chris though. i'm torn, and it's not because of what anyone has said, it's just an internalized conflict that's like... do i vote out my best friend but i think it's smarter or do i vote out another threat and just hope the jury can recognize that i had a stronger game than perceived.

i think i know the answer though. and i hope that when he (BRYCE LKSDGLKSD i love him im on call with him ill link a pic below) goes to jury he can be my cheerleader... bc i lav him. if not i understand. but I HOPE he doesn't hate me remotely seriously because i value our friendship immensely... but i didn't come here to play for second. will i get second (or third)? sure. it's possible. but at least i didn't *play* for it, if that makes sense.

link to bryce on cam suffocating himself with a pillow in response to me potentially voting him out: https://imgur.com/BgFRtsK

that's all. MAYBE I DONT WRITE ANOTHER CONFESSIONAL THIS IS TOO STRESSFUL AND LONG AND MY FINGERS ARE CRAMPING. but that's it. love yawls. mwah.

IM SO DEPRESSED IM GETTING 3-1 HOW DO I HAVE SUCH BAD SOCIAL GAME WHY AM I THE WORST PERSON TO EVER PLAY THE GAME WHATS THE POINT OF PLAY 77 DAYS IF I CANT BE A TWO TIME WINNER I RUIN MY SLEEP SCHEDULE I PUSH THROUGH MY EPISODES OF SADNESS TO TRY TO WIN AND ITS ALL FOR NOTHING BC IM AN UNLIKABLE AND NO ONE WANTS TO SIT NEXT TO ME IN THE END LIKE THATS SO CRAZY ITS INSANE I JUST WANT SOMEONE TO LIKE ME https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/613389489154293780/634539770583973888/unknown.png

________________________________________________________________

i thought most betrayed was jared to me but turns out its zach to me

________________________________________________________________

Bryce is voted out 3-1. He becomes the ninth and final member of our jury.

Watch Bryce’s exit interview take place below:

________________________________________________________________

Ahhh I cant believe I made it to FTC. Its pretty surreal to have actually made it after everything's that happened! I am so nervous about FTC because I know a lot of people may not be thrilled to see me and I have to do a lot lf convincing...but this is where I have to try to give everything my all and hope it will work out!

Well, this is the end folks.

My final confessional of All-Stars. Will it be my final Celestial confessional? Who knows. All I know at this point is that my speech is ready and I'm speculating as to what questions I will be asked and what my answers will be. Finally being at the end of an ORG is so surreal but winning this thing after all the nonsense would be so sweet.

Making it to the end with Chris is great too, even if I kinda wish he was just on the jury supporting me. This is our second time playing an ORG together but the first time we played we both went pre-merge, so this really is a big deal for us.

I'm proud of the game I've played though, and I want to make sure that comes across tonight. Even if I ultimately end up losing I won't let myself be called a goat or "just playing for FTC". I came here to win from the very beginning and by the end of the night everyone is going to know that.

I am so nervous for this FTC that I don't think I'll do that good, BUT I'm gonna put on my acting abilities and pretend I am confident and own everything I can! It's do or die and I'm not ready to be six feet under yet!

________________________________________________________________

So I'm very happy with myself when its all said and done! This was such a journey for me in that whether I win or lose I feel satisfied with myself because I had highs and lows and learned things- wishing my fellow finalists the best of luck and huge thank you to the hosts for allowing this to even exist here :)

________________________________________________________________

Zach wins in an 8-1-0 vote!

[survivormuxloe]

Episode #12: “if they were smart, they would take me out tonight.” - David

Man, things are not looking good at all for me and my alliance, LOL, sweet lord. Jones was blindsided at tribal, and now if I don't win out these immunity challenges, I'm definitely gonna go home.

Winning 2 in a row is a feat in itself, now I'm going for 3. With a time of 7:58, I feel pretty good about it. The key is to not get ahead of yourself and take your time. People go too damn fast in these endurance challenges and manage to mess up, I'm hoping that's the case again this time, LOL.

so...! POST TRIBAL JONES WENT HOME 4-3-1 HALLELUYAH LOLLL LIKE THE GODFATHER IS GONE!!! rhys legit gave me tobi and ryan a fucking heart attack bc if he selfed it would have been 3-3-1-1 and ryan was gonna use his idol on tobi.. i have to laugh lol but ya like uhm.

its rly weird to be in this position. where i feel insanely comfortable. i’m the only person left with 0 votes to my name, me and tobi are the only people to vote 100% in majority throughout this game. :))

and it’s even better bc.. tobi and ryan both think i’m their #1’s. and i can act the fool bc i’m the ONLY canute left vs 3 mercia 2.0 and 3 sweyn 2.0 hehe...

its super weird i dont usually have good positioning but i feel as if the only way i’ll ever leave is an idol play which i think me and ryan have the only ones :)

I BEAT THE CURSE OF EIGHT. But Jones got voted out. So it’s a win/lose situation. She was determined on helping me get past eighth and it’s upsetting. But I gotta keep moving forward and do my best. Block Party was very tedious and I don’t know what’s considered a “good score” for this challenge but I completed it in 7 minutes which I think is pretty good.

so im just gunna be a psychic and hope this comes into fruitation or whatever the word is...

OK SO THIS VOTE GET OUT DAVID.. easy 4-3 lol

next vote.. bait tobi mo and ahrre into voting ryan, tell ryan to idol, we pref get ahrre out if possible..

then i PREF WIN F5 IMMUNITY AND BAIT all of them into votign tobi and i idol tobi... but if i dont win immunity im gunna prob use it on myself and be a selfish cunt lol

Just kidding it took me 11 minutes I don’t think I’m winning this

So last tribal was interesting. In theory my plan didnt change anything, however it couldve stopped a tie vote. Jones was close to Ahrre and Mo (maybe David?!). So she couldve easily chose to vote Ryan and sway them on board. My plan stopped this happening as she had no idea they were voting for Tobi.

Now I feel like I am still in a power position. I am inbetween Tobi, Ryan, Scott and Mo, Ahrre and David. I have to assess my options. I did lie to Mo, and Ahrre. So they may want to make a move against me. Where as Tobi, Scott and Ryan are the more safe trio but also more dangerous in that I wouldnt be able to beat one of them in the end.

Someone has idols too. So ANYTHING could happen. I need them to get burnt out soon. I CANT have a possibility of 4 IDOLS at final 5. Dani, Felix and Jones were all blindsided, so there may be a chance some idols laid there. However the merge one is likely still here. It was gone before jones left, and might be gone still. Meaning the idol is with someone else or wasnt re hidden.

My main goal in this round is to keep votes off me, get an idol possibly used and stay low. I didnt make a massivly obvious move, so my visiablity may still be low. I dont need a huge threat level, it makes getting to the end 100x harder.

Tobi snapped in immunity and tg he did bc David is finally vulnerable again <3 honestly it should be an easy vote considering ik our 4 wants David out bc he's so strong, and I doubt anyone else has an idol since me and Scott have 2.... so wigggg smooth sailing? i ain't gonna settle into comfortability tho bc that's never good

Ok so now I need to think about my end game. The only two people I’m not comfortable sitting next to FTC are Ryan and David. Ryan has been swerving eliminations and has gotten rid of several big threats. David is a comp beast and is also responsible for some big moves. So now you might be thinking, Mo? What’re you going to do? Lemme tell ya Barb. So my plan AT the moment. Is 7. David 6. Ahrre or Rhys 5. Ahrre or Rhys 4. Ryan And then final three will be Scott, Tobi and myself.

Winning immunity at this stage feels sooooooo damn good like especially for this round, this is the first time david has been open on the table after his immunity... and i feel like this is the round where advantages from the other side will be played and im glad im not vulnerable to whatever shit they throw at us... so like from a gameplay standpoint, me and scott have one of the best games currently (i think) with scott edging me slightly since he hasnt got any votes yet, but we're working together really well and like i feel like i can talk game to him really well... so the plan is that we take out david this round, we round up mo (idk about ahrre) for next vote and blindside ryan, and then from there we take out ahrre, and then me and him are in f4 with two goats. He wants to go to f3 with me while taking one goat (or so he says he does) but im gonna start making moves on scott at f4, if i can take out scott at f4 that leaves me a huge opening to take the game all the way till the end... but maybe i'm thinking too far ahead

Lowkey tho like... I kinda want ahrre out over david at this point... i feel like ahrre has built some sort of barrier in our relationship for no reason. like i've shown huuuge interest in working with him in the past, but he's just gone against me and even voted me last tribal in SPITE of me??? like??? everything he's done has landed him in the minority LMFAOOOOOOO LIKE get your head out of your ass and realize that i actually want to work with you!!! and like to get ryan out at f6 we're gonna need numbers and im not sure how comfortable i am with depending on mo to flip with us, the problem with telling ahrre is that hes soooo unpredictable like, he might just go and tell ryan everything me and scott are doing and then bam there goes everything... i understand wanting david out now since he's an immunity threat but thinking about all  the blindsides I need to pull off like... I wanna keep david but I don't have numbers to keep him so I'll just have to bite the bullet on this one

So!! i lost challenge. again. lol xd

missus david and his ragtag bunch of misfits who dk how to Not piss everyone off are now deciding to vote me after unsuccessfully voting everyone else. (: BC THATS GUNNA WORK OUT FOR THEM.

like bitch.. work w/ the majority. they arent even TRYING. its lowkey kinda sad but its their own faults they put themselves in this position...

the tea is even tho i have my idol im only playing it @ f6/f5 OR if david idols. like. tobi/ryan def wont vote me and rhys will just follow ryan i think NNNN

wisj me luck x

Fuck. I have a really tough decision to make. I’d like to say I’m the swing vote but I don’t actually know 100%. I can choose to vote with David, Rhys and Ahrre or Ryan, Scott and Tobi. My main concern with this vote as a whole is jury management because I don’t want someone to leave unhappy with me but that’s really tough to do. I said previously my two concerns are David and Ryan when it comes to who I don’t wanna be sitting next to at FTC. A final four with David is scary because he’s a comp beast. A final four with Ryan is scary because he is super close with Scott and Tobi. This is a headache.

Well so last vote was funky dunky. So rhys sticked with the majority because he considered Jones to be a bigger threat than Tobi due to her connections.... Then the vote comes around and literally everyone lied to Jones about the vote LMAO.

So me mo and david followed thru with the tobi vote but it was to no avail, mainly because rhys not only flipped but he let him know I was gunning for him. Meanwhile the rest convicted Jones to vote me, probably by telling her some lie about how I was after her. While they all voted for her.

So there goes Jones and my no votes streak with her RIP. So after all of that I decided it was time for me to try and win imunity and while I was close Tobi just edged me the fecker.

So now we have an immune tobi and depend on rhys to flip for real this time. I hope he realizes that if he doesn't then everything is fucked but now it doesn't even depend on him. Since it's between Ryan and Scott and it's f7 the chances of an idol being played are high.

David is worried it might be him they're going after but idk anything could happen.

hmm so I've been busy today and haven't been talking with everyone. but i believe the tiffany alliance is still on the same page of voting David. i heard from Scott that the other 3 are voting him and they think Rhys is voting with them so that's interesting. i'm defintiely feeling safe, and i feel like Scott isn't going anywhere either so yayy final 6 here we go. I also talked with Scott about taking out Tobi sometime before final 3 because he's definitely a big jury threat, and he can definitely win immunities so if we get a chance to take him out we might hop on that. A final 3 of me/Scott/Rhys sounds pretty ideal and i think me or Scott would take home the win whew

david got another thing coming if he thinks he can idol me out... thats tea lol :)

So I lost the challenge yesterday...and yet I'm hearing that I'm not getting any votes tonight o.O which I don't believe for one second, cuz if they were smart, they would take me out tonight.

As I'm hearing...me, Mo, Ahrre and Rhys are gonna be voting for Scott, and Ryan, Scott and Tobi are voting Ahrre...because they think that I have the idol, LMFAOOO. WHICH IS TOO FUNNY OMG. I WISH I HAD THAT FUCKING IDOL, LOL.

Okay, so one side thinks Scott is going, One side thinks David is going. Meanwhile im in the middle lieing to half the tribe trying to stop an idol getting played to save my closest ally. Yeet.

Ok so according to rhys they're gonna be voting me since they're worried about david having an idol. But maybe that's just rhys playing the long con. Either way there's a sizeable chance I could be going home this week but hey third time's the charm amarite maybe this blindside will work once in for fucking all. Anyhow let's see how this thing goes.

David is voted out 4-3.

[fisokoso-blog]

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