#i need to write a fic about this stat

[pa1nrema1ns]

It's giving 'fallen prince who seduces the princess of the opposing kingdom and intends to use her in his plot for revenge but falls in love with her instead.'

[brainrotallthewaydown1312]

I need to talk about this right here for a second.

When I first got into Lockwood and Co, it was cot3 propaganda that convinced me to actually watch it. Specifically, I saw a lot of people talking about the subtext and some people debating if there was some intentional coding. I knew very little about the show except that it was ghost detectives and that there were a lot of people talking about this polyship. And as I watched, I definitely saw it. I quickly got invested with the ship too, but I realized early on that it was not purposeful subtext. It was definitely there if you wanted to read it, but it hadn't been written in on purpose and it wasn't really canon. Which is okay. I don't need all my ships to be canon, and I really enjoy the dynamic the characters all have either way.

But then I got to the last episode. And listen. I'm ace and arospec. I am all for big professions of platonic love and platonic love saving the day. And I'm also all for multiple readings of everything being valid, especially when it comes to the readings of character relationships and dynamics. But the way the whole catacombs sequence plays out first with just Lucy and George and then with Lockwood when he gets there, I legitimately can't understand how to read that besides them being in romantic love.

First you have Lucy's speech. And this one I do like multiple readings for. I get seeing this as relating to romantic shipping, but to me, it feels like someone who is stating their love for someone and that love could be any context. But the way she does it is so important to me. She gets right at what he felt bad about and told him why it was wrong and asserted that he is important to her, and then reinforced it with logical context instead of more emotional details. Because he needs evidence to believe something, and she knows that about him. She knew exactly how to say it to him so he'd hear her.

For me, the next important thing for what I'm talking about is when George runs to her after she passes out from ghost visions. He is still bound, but he gets to her so quickly, and he gets so close to her. He is so desperate for her to be okay. The way he talks to her. The way he huddles into her space like he wants to scoop her up and hold her. How he says “it's me, I'm here” showing that what she had said sunk in because he wouldn't have thought that a comfort before and now he does. How when her eyes pop open, he visibly relaxes for a moment before remembering where they are. The way they huddle together, shielding themselves from the danger. There is something in all of that that just feels like there is something unexplored that they are finding between them. It feels like this is a moment where the stakes shifted from where they had been. Not higher or lower, but different.

This feels reinforced by the conversation they have when Bickerstaff is ghostlocking them. The way they both apologize. How desperately they both mean that apology. How they are accepting their fate, grateful to have their lives tangled together. How they are still so close together. Again, I can still see multiple readings for this bit.

But then Lockwood gets there.

And he saves them. Because of course he does. And he has his dramatic moment because he's Lockwood, and he can't get by without one. And this happens

The way they both run to him as he falls. The way he catches them. How they all slide together perfectly.

The way they crowd into him. The way George is crouched below Lockwood even when he falls. The way Lucy is purposeful but careful with his arm. How she leans into him and her hand on his stomach.

The way Lockwood is so defeated here but still looks at Lucy like she is his hope. How she says “we won't let you” not “I won't let you” or anything else. We won't let you.

The look on George's face. George's ragged breath and the way he is crouched against Lockwood. The way he is staring into Lockwood's soul.

The way Lucy looks at George here. The way she confirms the decision to make this a moment for all of them. The way George's eyes shift, but not away from Lockwood. The way his voice tears from his throat when he says “never.” The way he pushes up into Lockwood, trying to get even closer, even when they were already pressed together. The way Lockwood looks like he is accepting something new in this moment as he understands how much he is cared for by both of them.

I just don't understand how this could be read without the implication of that shift happening. All the other moments of subtext are passable with other reads. But something about this specific moment with the three of them on the ground in the catacombs. I don't know how this could be anything but them being in love and sort of each realizing for themselves the extent of that.

I think what makes it so difficult to wrap my head around other readings for this moment is watching George here. At his desperation and fear and the way he shoves into Lockwood at the end there. Because it's an obvious locklyle moment, but Lucy made the effort to include him. And he was ready to be included. And he was so desperate for them all to make it out so that it wasn't too late for him to realize he was loved too. And that little push really sells it for me.

And I know that it makes sense for the character beat that George is at and as follow up for the scene leading up to it between George and Lucy. But even with that context, it feels like this specific moment only makes sense if there is something non-platonic growing between all of them.

And like I said, I know that cot3 is not canon. And that it wasn't being written for in either the show or the books. And I'm okay with that. But I have no idea how to categorize this scene in my head knowing that, because I am incapable of seeing this scene any other way.

[seaslimes]

Thinking once more about the F/F AO3 stats issue. Really struggling with the urge to write "issue" there too, LOL.

I know that call-to-action doesn't always go well, and that I exist as a drop in the bucket compared to millions of Tumblrites & AO3 users. But the curse of seeing yet another post which discusses how horri-bad these stats are, when the differences within the individual fandoms is often so manageable. It drives me insane.

There's a couple versions of these "wow, M/M fics are more popular and that's bad because of X issue" posts that have screenshots of laughable disparities. Stuff like 500 more M/Ms than F/Fs. That is a genuinely amusing number, because with the help from a fraction of the thousands who share any post like that, this very scary gap would cease to exist.

So, anyway. I'm considering some sort of fandom roundup wherein I have folks vote on a fandom with F/F to M/M "disparity" which I will then run a "break the ratio" event on. Encouraging people to write fics until the ratio evens. IDK, is that something that people would be interested in? I could be crazy but this rubber room squeaks and I think the rats are talking about me.

[ageless-aislynn]

For 10 years, my fic with by far the most hits on AO3 was "Five Times Oliver Held Felicity (And The One Time She Held Him)."

And I'm proud of it, don't get me wrong. I think it actually contains some of my better writing. 🤷‍♀️ But it ended up being a one-off sort of thing: I thought I'd write more Olicity or Arrow in general and then just... didn't.

However, it was so far ahead of all of my other fics in hits, I figured nothing would ever challenge it for the top spot. I hadn't checked my stats in quite a while and so I was surprised to discover that the "Five Times" Olicity fic was now in second place.

I've written 114 fics in the Flash fandom and none of them have remained in my top 5, that was another surprise! But 3 of my 11 Halo fics now are: "15 Minutes," (John/female reader) "Side Effects" (John/Cortana, John/Kai, very NSFW) and "Recreation" (Kai/male reader, same world as "15 Minutes").

Now, why is any of that important? It's for the sheer fact that I don't write sci-fi military fiction well AT ALL. My interest has always been in the more domestic and romantic themes, for lack of a better thing to call it. "You write the moments between the adventures" was what somebody told me about my Doctor Who fics ("Balancing Act," which is third place on that list, is a multi-chaptered Ten/Donna NSFW romantic fix-it fic where every chapter clearly takes place after some sort of new adventure that I don't show you but instead reference 😉). I agree with that assessment, that IS basically what I write.

A little while ago, I read somebody criticizing a particular type of Halo fanfiction. They didn't name mine by name but basically said it wasn't written "properly" like it's "supposed" to be and was everything that's "wrong" with uninformed people writing things they shouldn't be.

Here's the kicker: I think they're wrong. If they would've pointed at somebody else's fic and said that same thing, I would've wanted to jump in and tell them to get over themselves. People are allowed to enjoy whatever they want to enjoy! If somebody wrote a story that's "wrong" in your opinion, then all you have to do is scroll on by.

Heck, if somebody wants to write about Master Chief riding into battle on a T-rex while waving a glowing, magic sword given to him personally by Gandalf the Grey... Well, dang it, I'd read it, lol! Yeah, that wouldn't take place in canon but what is fanfic even for if not to allow all sorts of exploration? What if Halo had dinosaurs and magic swords? What if Chief and Silver Team or Blue Team or a brand new team of OC Spartans desperately needed to go buy new curtains for their apartments after they'd hung out for a while at the most happening coffee shop on Reach where Thel 'Vadam was the barista who made amazing specialty drinks while also heading up the local garage band?

(Yeah, I made that manip for something else but might as well get more use out of it, right? 😂)

Anyway, you get my drift. If one of my fellow Halo writers would've gotten criticism like that, I would've challenged it. But it was too close to my own work and instead, I absorbed it. I feel like I shouldn't be writing for Halo, I'm too wrong, I'm too off. I mean, no wonder I'm struggling to finish my WIPs, right? That's the first thing that pops to mind when I try to write anything: Yeah, but you're doing this all wrong. You should be ashamed of what you're writing. You're insulting the real fans of Halo by trivializing the characters like this. You're disrespecting actual military people living today by getting too much of this wrong.

And so seeing those stats at AO3 really meant something to me. I know I don't write authentic action-orientated sci-fi military fiction. I know that. But I love the characters and I love seeing them in situations they wouldn't be in in canon and I can't even tell you why. But people have been reading my fics? At least, I hope the hits aren't coming from people passing the links around with a big ol' ZOMG, please don't ever write Halo like THIS IDIOT, okay??? attached to them. 🤞😣🤞😉

This sounds pretty silly seeing it written down like this. I know, it's like, Get over yourself, Ais, not everything is about you! But I've been really struggling to get to the root of my writer's block so I could figure out what's keeping me from finishing my WIPs. And seeing those stats tonight and realizing how many more times my Halo fics seem to have been read over my other fandoms...?

Well, that might only mean that Halo is just the more popular fandom right now and it's nothing more than that. But it's nice to think that, even though there are people out there who think somebody unqualified like me shouldn't be posting their ridiculous little stories, maybe there are other people who've enjoyed them, even as unauthentic as they are?

I dunno. Food for thought.

I'm hoping this will inspire me to at least finish up the next chapter for "15 Minutes." 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Thanks for reading. *hugs* to you if you've ever or are currently struggling with anything like this. Tell your stories, they're worth it. I believe in you. 🤗🤗🤗

I just need to try harder to believe in myself, hm? 🤔

PS - I've gotten SO MANY wonderful comments on my Halo fics, so why is it that the hate that might not even have been meant for me is so much louder in my head and crowds the nice comments out? I hate that, I truly do. 😖

[hermitw]

Complaint that the best thing I've ever written might be this fic where Sukuna's milk-dripping tiddies save us from the shibuya incident

[chronurgy]

so I was halfway through writing a post about how after realizing that the dark urge was in a relationship with gale, gortash would lose his shit because gale is so obviously a huge nerd and gortash would be like oh my bane is that what they're into??? Am I like that??? What did they see in me?? But the longer I thought about it. Uh. Two men, both obsessed with power, both would-be gods? Yeah maybe they're more similar than I thought. Methinks durgie boy has a type. And wouldn't that be a disquieting thought for everyone involved

[quilleth]

Help I haven't even made significant progress in the game and I'm already thinking of silly little fanfics to write!

If I had a nickel for every time bioware made a sad man with big brown eyes who also happened to be possessed that dragged me into writing, I'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot, and I can't even say it's odd that it's happened twice now because that is, apparently, my Type

[wizardnuke]

friend/classmate is checking up on my progress with an assignmence i haven't started yet (in my defense it's a literature assignment we discussed In Depth i just have to put the words on paper. anyway.) while im 1/3rd thru writing a tag essay on caleb. please hold bestie im doing something important. category five caleb event

[silverantagain]

I'm soooo normal (I've been stuck daydreaming about The Robot for the past few hours. I WANNA DRAW AND WRITE PLEASE GET HIM O U T OF MY HEAD)

[hoejosatoru]

Oh I want him bad I fear

[lollybliz]

I have ideas.

I have a peanut gallery of friends that get excited.

I have at least a couple spoons, sometimes.

I keep having to actively choose not to think about my wips not work on my wips not even look at my wips because I'll want to work on them and I have too much work and homework and my exam is coming up and I'm aaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I want to write :'(

[sabraeal]

💝what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

💥find your least kudos'd fic - say something wonderful about it.

💝what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

If You Dare! My hakizana fics are not usually SUPER popular, but they tend to garner at least a little interest, but that one didn't even get a blip 🤣Too bad, that one was going to get smutty in the next chapter or two. ONE DAY.

💥find your least kudos'd fic - say something wonderful about it.

That would be To My Esteemed Enemy with three whole kudos, which is both surprising and not, because it's a fic with a pairing that is more popular than my main ship in that fandom, but it 1) doesn't have any ship content in it yet, 2) is using canon characterization of Kazama, which displeases the people who want him to be a sexy villain and also the people who want him to be a uwu good boy trying his best. It's easy to say something nice about this, because I spent HOURS poring over Hakuouki lore to get this into shape and was SO PLEASED with the results. It just needs a few more chapters to really find an audience, I think, but I don't have the time right now to put my effort into it.

[enderwoah]

readers will never know how many thousands of words have been deleted due to me forgetting about the ao3 draft deadline

this has probably already been done before but i was thinking about it earlier and got curious

[seaslimes]

Every time I see those posts about the AO3 F/F to M/M ratios, all I can think is:

Okay, excellent point. But what if you just wrote it?

Like. Yeah, man, I'm sure it's discouraging to see raw numbers talking about how your ship doesn't get the rep it needs. But when you get down to numbers... sometimes the difference within fandoms is less than 500 more M/M works than F/F works. That's actionable. You can fill that gap with a fraction of the people liking / reblogging posts about F/F erasure.

Sometimes the gap is bigger. It's like, 1000 more works are tagged M/M. 2000, or more. Yeah, that's a big gap, but you could make it one less. If every person liking or reblogging a post about the disparity of ship fics on AO3, that number would shrink drastically, or outright disappear.

IDK. I write F/F. I write M/M too, as well as M/F. But I write F/F, and when I see that sorta post. It doesn't feel like a call to action. It feels like somehow, in some way, I'm not doing enough when I post up fanfiction for free about stuff I like.

It makes me feel like I should stop sharing my F/F work, that it doesn't matter, that people don't recognize the effort or love or time that goes into it. Even beyond that, I feel discouraged about the work I have put out, because thousands of words written all about an F/F pairing are only seen in that raw stat format.

"There's X M/M fics and Y F/F fics." Yes, I know, and that has to suck. But look at how many people wrote F/F fics! Have you commented on each of those F/F fics? Have you given kudos? Did you feel inspired to write or draw because of those F/F fics? That's what fandom is for. That's why we create. If that's not inspiring you to "close the gap" on those stats, I don't know what to say.

[somethingblu3]

I have no idea how I correlated your essay to fifty shades of grey ngl - 💞

i mean it was about Killing Eve so your not totally wrong.

[kiwiorcore]

tomii hi!! hope you're good and i just wanted to know what you thought about the whole hamilton to ferrari thing? i still don't know much about f1 but even i felt like this was really important 😭 and i love reading anything you say too lol so it's better from you than anyone else 🫶🏽🫶🏽 also unrelated but please talk about tennant's macbeth i'll send another ask if i have to, i'm so curious!! love you and i hope you're doing well!!

hii! sorry for the late response

honestly i don’t think the reality of lewis moving to ferrari has well and truly set in. it’s just a bit confusing for me why he’s doing it cause merc doesn’t stink that badly and ferrari isn’t that good either. i don’t have anything insightful to say it’s just kinda like ‘wait is this seriously happening?’

spoilers for david tennant’s macbeth under the cut i guess??? can you really spoil macbeth?

so my drama teacher chose this production for out live performance review and oh my god was it good. like where do i even start

the staging was so good i loved it so much. i liked the like glass enclosure they had behind the stage. it was such an interesting staging decision. the lighting as well was sooo good. it’s such a joy to analyse. the live music they had added so much to the production it would have not been the same without it

someday i wish to be like max webster because only he could’ve come up with the idea to use binaural sound for the whole production. the witches at the beginning??? i jumped i loved them so much

david tennant was so good for the role of macbeth. he’s got a very insane look about him and he plays macbeth really well

on the topic of macbeth, cush jumbo played lady macbeth so well. i loved lady macbeth in this actually. everything about her made her feel like and outsider from her northern accent when the others had scottish accents and the fact she was the only one wearing white. just ugh i love it

malcolm and macduff had bigger roles in this production than others. i wish ross did as well because i love moyo akande but oh well. the time she was on she was really good she’s literally my idol

the actors playing malcolm and macduff must have had bills due during the scene ross comes and tells macduff his wife and kids are dead because that was the make gut wrenching thing i’ve ever watched. noof ousellam (macduff) portrayed macduff’s emotions so well and ros watt (malcolm) really convincingly made himself seem as if he was on the brink of tears

speaking of ros watt, omg ros watt. i loved everything about him. his physicality during the 2nd prophecy, his pleading with macduff, god everything was perfect. ros watt was perfect to play malcolm especially considering he’s smaller than the rest of the cast. just delicious. he’s got those big sad eyes that i love

noof ousellam as well. big massive sad eyes like that’s baby girl (he’s over six feet tall). when he was all up in malcolm’s face shouting, dear god i loved it. my little pea brain starting whirring. something about their height difference does it for me.

this is getting long so let me finish quickly. lady macduff, her screams were fucking bone chilling. the porter was so funny. his actor does really well in comedies. banquo was so fit omg. the child actor they had playing like all the children (and he died so many times poor kid) was surprisingly good as well

i desperately want to write about this version of macbeth/the cast (the guy playing donalbain has a podcast called putting it together and his interviews with the other cast members are really good) but i fear no one actually gives a shit