#Share them. Post them. Put kudos on that shit. Comment so the author feels good about writing more. Every time you share those dumbshit
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Thinking once more about the F/F AO3 stats issue. Really struggling with the urge to write "issue" there too, LOL.
I know that call-to-action doesn't always go well, and that I exist as a drop in the bucket compared to millions of Tumblrites & AO3 users. But the curse of seeing yet another post which discusses how horri-bad these stats are, when the differences within the individual fandoms is often so manageable. It drives me insane.
There's a couple versions of these "wow, M/M fics are more popular and that's bad because of X issue" posts that have screenshots of laughable disparities. Stuff like 500 more M/Ms than F/Fs. That is a genuinely amusing number, because with the help from a fraction of the thousands who share any post like that, this very scary gap would cease to exist.
So, anyway. I'm considering some sort of fandom roundup wherein I have folks vote on a fandom with F/F to M/M "disparity" which I will then run a "break the ratio" event on. Encouraging people to write fics until the ratio evens. IDK, is that something that people would be interested in? I could be crazy but this rubber room squeaks and I think the rats are talking about me.
#Textual.#ao3 writer#ao3 stats#Somewhat polarizing opinions in the club. Refer to my previous post about this as needed but myyeeeghhh. It really is nutty.#The number of posts & subsequently people who just point at the ' 'problem' ' with slack jaws. As if nothing can be done.#I literally write F/F all the time. I write fics about ladies getting nasty as well as fics about cryptic lass flirtation. It's fun.#My formative years were spent as a baby dyke. Be serious & take responsibility for your role in fandom. Talk about your favorite F/F fics.#Share them. Post them. Put kudos on that shit. Comment so the author feels good about writing more. Every time you share those dumbshit#posts about stat breakdowns and inter-fandom disparity. You have effectively told an author that their efforts to write a cool F/F fic are#worthless or pointless or meaningless because the raw numbers are immutable. Do you understand that? The actual tangible impact?#' '5092 M/Ms to 3074 F/Fs is bad!!' ' You are literally looking at 3074 fics tagged with F/F. How is that not so cool. Go comment on them???
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Twenty Questions for Fic Writers
Tagged by my one and only Jesus @eusuntgratie
I recently cleared out all the ask/tag games in my drafts because I realized I'd reached the pile-up stage of putting things in there and not doing shit. Thanks to everyone who's tagged me in those the last couple of months and sorry I didn't get to any!
1. How many works do you have on ao3?
148
2. What’s your total ao3 word count?
2,005,606 (crossed the 2 million milestone recently and am still buzzing about it)
3. What fandoms do you write for?
I'm only writing for Jujutsu Kaisen, but I'm posting for Jujutsu Kaisen, Bleach, and MCU.
4. What are your top five fics by kudos?
I was so sure it was going to be all MCU, but nope, it's a mix of MCU and Hannibal. God, that was my first Ao3 fandom, and my Hannibal fics are from 2014. It's surreal people are still reading/enjoying them.
if you're looking for jesus (then get on your knees)—MCU
i'm a ghost, you're an angel (one and the same)—MCU
A darkness seen and shared—Hannibal
Ways and Means—Hannibal
the hand you want to hold is a weapon (and you're nothing but skin)—MCU
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I do! I enjoy the interactions and discussions. Plus, since I'm not a Discord (or group spaces) person, it's how I find fellow fans to chat with, especially during my initial foray into a particular fandom. I do have a huge backlog of some 1.1k comments from 2020 to mid-2021 because I didn't have much time for fandom in that period. I'm chipping away at it slowly, but I'm pretty prompt about replying to everything on my post-2021 fics.
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Hmm, this Hannibal fic, I'd say: Till the bitter end
Let's just say I predicted the series finale in some weird way.
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Most of mine end happily—a few are ambiguous, while others are dark.
8. Do you get hate on fic?
Oh yeah. It's only happened with MCU and Jujutsu Kaisen, and they're mostly cases of overgrown children unhappy that I didn't write the ships or dynamics they want.
9. Do you write smut?
It's my specialty now 😎
10. Do you write crossovers?
Nah. I've done fusion-style AUs, but full-on crossovers aren't something I'd like to write. I'll read them, but I'm picky.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Multiple times (MCU and YoI, iirc), both within Ao3 and offsite.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Multiple times, for multiple fandoms! It's always a delight.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
I did write one(1) fic that way, but it got yeeted into the void when my co-author deleted her entire Ao3 account. I have a copy, I think.
14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?
I'm the kind of person who's most devoted to whatever is eating my brain at the time, so right now, it's Yuuji/Gojou from Jujutsu Kaisen.
15. What’s a wip you want to finish but probably won’t?
My writing superpower is that if I lose interest in a WIP, I also lose all desire to finish it and any guilt about it. And these days, I tend to start a fic and work on just that till it's done. So the answer is—none.
16. What are your writing strengths?
I write some smokin' hot porn, and I'm pretty good at threading character study through it. The porn is the plot, in most cases. I also enjoy doing background worldbuilding that serves to give the narrative a sense of depth despite the focus being on characters and relationships.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Fight scenes, ensemble casts, and sustained plotty plots.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
Ah, I can feel my Hannibal-era Google-translate Lithuanian judging me.
In general, I avoid it, but when I write for anime set in Japan, I tend to work in honorifics. My mother tongue has those too, so I know from experience that there are no English equivalents that capture the same vibe.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Hunter x Hunter, I think. That account no longer exists. On Ao3, it's Hannibal.
20. Favorite fic you’ve written?
I tend to be biased toward my newer works, so this keeps changing. At the moment, it's (let me be clear) every version of the story ends with you being slaughtered (JJK, goyuu).
Tagging (no pressure) 20 people because why the hell not: @possibleplatypus, @actualalligator, @joeys-piano, @cursedvibes, @backwardshirt, @m34gs, @naamah-beherit, @dragongirlg-fics, @crossroadswrite, @spacebuck, @jenroses, @calamitouskings, @knivash, @lo-55, @bookwyrmling, @sorrythatwasamistake, @ddelline, @lilyfarseer, @roughkiss and @deunan306
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what you said about maxiel fanfics with endgame lest4ppen, yes, I agree. someone mentioned this before, but maxiel is slowly dying on ao3 while it seems to be thriving more and more on tumblr.
for me it's 50/50 because I don't mind where I'm reading, but here we have more one-shots and pieces of WIPs (which is good because it means authors don't feel the pressure to turn everything into a 50k story, so they can just post their ideas even if it's incomplete), but I personally LOVE longer stories, so I would love to read more and more about every single one of them.
and personally I just don't like lest4ppen at all. I understand the need to tag maxiel because daniel is the bad guy and the "shitty boyfriend" or whatever, but I just don't like seeing those stories 😬
will always preface asks like this by saying people can like what they like and find joy in whatever, i ain't gunna turn my nose up at anyone or anything, lestappen just doesn't make sense to meeee personally, but honestly whatever butters ur bread!!!
as someone who has dabbled here and there in this writing lark, for me there is a distinct difference in ao3 posting and tumblr posting....ao3 to me is formal, ur presenting something perfect, a fully-fledged story, a beginning a middle and an end (not in all cases but i just mean in general). most stuff i read on ao3 is fully-fledged nuanced ideas that the author has obviously spent hours of time crafting and experimenting with.
tumblr fic is inherently fun and blase and easier to throw out there into the ether and forget about really. tumblr fic doesn't need to follow grammatical rules or structure etc etc....it can just be a fun prompt game response or a quick lil fic that you had fun writing and wanna share with ur people?? both have purposes and both are enjoyable to write imo, just depends on what ur feeling and how much u want to expand on said idea??
when it comes to the maxiel of it all....idk how rude or pointed i can get here without getting into shit....so i'll try and word this gently....you have to keep the eco-system alive....i think comments and kudos are GREAT but honestly, if someone reblogs my fic with a fun few tags, i love that more, because in a selfish way, i might get 1 or 2 more readers from that because its going out to an even wider audience?? but its more than that!! engage with ur writers, message them on here and shout at them about their ideas, send them prompts, recommend their fic to ur friends...but i will stand by i think one of the best things you can do, if they make a fun lil post or graphic for their fic...reblog it...ur not only spreading the maxiel gospel, but ur also supporting that writer?? too many times on here i see people's fic graphics flop yet big blogs are leaving them comments on ao3 and look, EACH TO THEIR OWN and also i can sometimes be a bad reblogger dont get me wrong, but LIKE, there are some wildly talented authors on here who just need to be pushed into the limelight a little bit more??? idk if im wording this correctly, but sometimes there are fics that fall through the cracks because no one engages with them, and if ur an author who has put blood sweat and tears into that fic, ur not exactly going to be motivated to post another maxiel fic if u dont think ur going to get engagement from it (again, fic writing isn't necessarily about engagement or response, but let me tell u when i get a fun little comment or someone messages me about a fic i published, it inspires me to write more????)
maxiel is definitely alive and kicking, i follow some stunningly good maxiel authors, but at the same time, its about pushing forward those smaller writers as well and not thinking ur too cool for them???????????????
and so with that, this flufftober, kinktober, spooktober or whatever tober u are a part of, reblog the fic, talk about the fic and enjoy the fic
#if u can understand what i am trying to say here then well done cause i dont think i even do#mean thats a lie i do know what im trying to say but i know a lot of people would hate me if i said what i actually wanted to say :))#anon#asks
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Ao3 20 Questions
thank you @kagedbird for the tag!! <3<3 i will tag some friends @daedrabait @miraakswhore @somethingscarlet13 @queerbashir if u wanna participate <3
How many works do you currently have on ao3? Currently 25. holy shit, i thought it was more than that lol
What's your total ao3 word count? 98,336. Used to be like 200k before i cleaned out some old works i didn't care for anymore.
What fandoms do you write for? Skyrim and Star Trek TOS & AOS
What are your top five fics by kudos? Sorry Lass, Make Me Feel Mortal, Don't Shut Me Out, Fascinating, and Destroy Rebuild
Do you respond to comments? Sometimes! Honestly it depends on whether or not i'm online and see them. if i don't respond right away it feels rude to respond weeks after the fact, but for repeat commenters or usernames i recognize i try to!
What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Idk i used to like to emotionally beat up Jim a lot, so probably one of the short stories where i explore all his traumas
What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Probably Sorry, Lass. I originally wrote it in 2015 and i'm fairly certain it ends with a mushy marriage scene.
Do you get hate on fics? Surprisingly, no. I think i got a few rude comments back when i first started, but honestly everyone's been too kind to me.
Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Hell yeah brother that's what i do!! I love angsty, emotionally charged smut. my personal favorite to write is angry, hatefuck type of stuff. or when they're using it to avoid talking about feelings.
Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? Not that i've ever posted lmao. I don't usually post non canon compliant fics for whatever fandom i'm working in.
Have you ever had a fic stolen? Kinda. a few years ago someone let me know that my work had been reposted to a fic site i don't use and one quick message got them to take it down. Also, i once posted a fic as a one off, forgot that i'd done that, and used the same scene much later in a larger story - and some nice commenter on the original let me know that someone had stolen my idea lmao
Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope, never had anyone request that and don't want to do so incorrectly.
Have you ever cowritten a fic? Kind of? an old friend and i used to write separate chapters of our self insert marvel fics and mush them together into one story lol. never posted it anywhere, it was just shared emails and google docs.
What's your all time favorite ship? God, that's hard. probably McKirk. as i've gotten older and unlearned all the internal shame about self inserts it's gotten easier to do a self insert story instead of an established pair.
What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Every few weeks i pluck away at my regency au Miraak fic. i don't think i'll ever actually finish it because it's just so big in my head it's hard to get on paper, but i hope i do someday.
What are your writing strengths? I'm very comfortable writing sex scenes. I think that often when the author is uncomfortable about writing explicit sex the reader can really feel it in the story and i put in a lot of work to get over those mental hurdles. i've been told i'm good at characterization, which is awesome! i love getting in a character's head!
What are your writing weaknesses? Very often i find myself bogged down with the need to describe every little scene. it's a major reason i haven't posted a longfic in a while - i want to write these big stories but find myself getting lost in the little details. i also have a terrible habit of editing myself while i'm writing, which just gets me stuck in an unproductive loop.
Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Since i'm only fluent in English, this isn't something i am confident in. i've written in a few fictional languages for fics before but would probably reach out or suggest another author if a reader wanted something that heavily involved this.
First fandom you wrote for? Twilight babey!!! self insert oc to smooch Edward Cullen when i was a little middle schooler!!! i didn't know what fanfiction was but i knew i had a big ol crush on him.
Favorite fic you've written? not to be cringe on main, but most of my favorites are things that never got published. they're the little things still hanging out in my google docs that i go back to over and over. i rewrote all of star trek into darkness word for word just to make bones and jim kiss, i made a self insert just to smooch skurge after hyperfixating on thor ragnarok, and the weird time a few months ago where i wrote like 40k words of a cowboy romance. i read them often and wish that i'd written more on many of them but i do not read my published works.
thanks to anyone who read my rambling lmao. love you all sososo much, thank you for reading my silly little stories and caring about them. <3<3<3
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i will be for real with you all. the many variations of the "everyone should be commenting on/reblogging my fanfic!!" mindset (and its children, "and if you're not doing that you're a bad person" + "and i am directly tying that to my motivation to write/my self esteem" + "and if you don't do that you are directly harming my motivation to write/my self esteem") are all bad for you. i've said it before! and i'll say it again! there is nothing wrong with reminding an audience, whether it's in the notes of a fic or in a tumblr post, that authors like comments! calls to action are great! it's the anger that i see when people post about how they get no reblogs. or the passive agressiveness in posts about how people will like but not reblog. or posts straight out saying that likes mean nothing. that's the shit that's not working.
first off: it has to be said. you are not entitled to people's time or effort. it's a harsh fucking truth but it has to be said! you're not entitled to the time it takes someone to read your fic, much less comment on it. you're not entitled to a space on someone's personal blog. human beings are never going to do exactly what you want them to because people just don't fucking do things sometimes. and expecting things from the people that read ur stuff (or see your art!) is only going to create a cycle of frustration in which your expectations are continuously left unmet and unmet and unmet, and if you cling to them, you're going to build up that frustration and anger, and it's not going to go anywhere positive. prommy. it's okay to be frustrated with a lack of attention! but then you have to let that go. and accept that any interaction is because people choose to interact, which is more than they can be expected to do.
which leads me to the "likes are worthless" argument. first off telling people that you don't want their interaction is not going to lead to more interaction. second off what the FUCK are you talking about. i know people get upset when people like but don't reblog because it doesn't further their content's reach, but: what the FUCK are you talking about!!!! likes are an acknowledgement that someone saw what you did and they liked it, enough to let you know. isn't that the goal? with a quick reference to the above paragraph (you are not entitled to time/effort/blog space), we have to talk about the way that people structure their intake of validation. likes are good! reblogs get your stuff out to another person's audience, but that enables more likes! any interaction is interaction. and also:
we cannot be basing everything around validation and interaction from strangers. that is only going to do you harm. as i said, your expectations are realistically most often not going to be met, unless you don't set expectations; if you will only have good feelings about something if people give you a certain amount of likes/kudos/comments, a certain amount of reblogs, you're going to end up with negative feelings, because most times, you're not going to get that. and the same way that you build up anger and frustration, you'll build up anything else you tie to that: sadness, worthlessness, however you feel when you don't get something you want. you can't let that control you. you can't live your life with all of your sources of happiness and self-worth rooted in external factors. those things are great for a boost! but you have to love your creative work for its own sake. you have to enjoy sharing things because you enjoy sharing things. it is genuinely not a healthy mindset to hang so much on other people's actions.
and i get it! believe me! i had one big work a while ago that got a bunch of comments with every update and it was absolutely thrilling and i got hooked on that validation. and then it fucking sucked afterward, cause nothing else i did ever got to that point again. it's brain poison! for real! it's the same shit they put in likes on social media, and i'm sure we've all seen the articles or ted talks or whatnot about the dangers of social media addiction! it's the same thing! and what i had to do to get out of that was find validation elsewhere. start investing myself into my creative processes for the sake of enjoying the creative process. train myself into enjoying every bit of interaction i got, rather than setting a threshold at which i could enjoy it. and it's hard work and i have to do it constantly and it fucking sucks but i am so much happier with my fics because of it. living in that disappointment and anger is awful. i promise it's better to fucking. practice gratitude. i hate that shit but it works sometimes.
and also! it has to be said. as a fic writer + reader: the "likes are worthless, everyone should be reblogging/commenting on fics" posts are fucking annoying. make different posts.
#i'll say it! i would not reblog fanfic because that's not what my fucking blog is for!#and it's my blog. and that's why i get to make that choice.#anyway.#on god y'all those posts are NOT encouraging people to be proactive in commenting and reblogging.#your bitterness is Certainly driving more people away than pulling people in.#and i try SO hard to be sympathetic cause it's not your fault that you're stuck in that! it's not!#but you can't live like that. it's not good for you.#and you're SO annoying because of it. oh my god.#you're not entitled to those comments! you're just not! so you have to restructure your thinking to be happy with your work itself#and then to be EXTRA happy about whatever interaction you might get from it online.#and that's more net happiness in the end anyway. so.#sending love get better please. sick of these fucking posts#fanfic#fanfiction#ao3#ao3fic#ao3 writer#ao3 stuff#archive of our own#fic#fanfics#fanfic writing#fanfiction writer#fanfiction woes#fanfic comments#fanfic community#ao3 community#ao3 comments#fan fiction#^ visibility tags i want people to see this
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🦋🕯️💌 for the emoji ask game!
🦋what are you most insecure about when you post a fic?
Not really insecure about anything these days? I've posted a truly absurd amount of fic and my previous fandoms include Harry Potter (TERF author can go rot) and MCU (... character roundabouts abound and the tonky stans refuse to admit it) so ... fandoms don't scare me much, I'm liberal with the block and delete buttons and I'm pretty confident in my own writing ability and general standing as a fanfic author.
I think the only thing I tend to worry about is my tags? I always either miss something, or tag something in a slightly weird way there's probably something better for. If you ever notice a fic of mine that could do with either tag pruning or an additional tag - please do let me know. I once managed to forget to add Whump to a fics tags and only remembered when a commenter mentioned it, I promise, I will not be mad.
🕯️how do you think engaging with each other through tumblr, twitter, comments, kudos, creates healthy fandom experiences? How do you deal with that if you’re not a social person/experience social anxiety?
See, I am Bad At People. I had very few friends going up and whether or not I have any neurodivergency (unknown, not unlikely, Dad almost definitely is, but I also have trauma from bullying and a shitty ex to complicate matters) I don't always socialise so good. I tend to observe social interactions and write them well, but outside of my close friends I get very antsy about interacting with new people.
This is why, generally, I stay in my own lane on tumblr; I'll post my metas and analysis here or in response to asks and only occasionally add them to other posts - and then posts by either people I know or, for whatever reason, feel comfortable enough to add to. I used to be a lot more fighty but frankly that intersects with my social shit badly and I am trying to keep to things which spark joy, even if people being wrong on the internet regularly makes me want to fight them.
Anyway. Comments are also easy because like - an awful lot of people don't respond to your comments? And it's a massive load off my anxious back to know I can just leave a comment and probably won't get any response. And then, if there is a response, it's often delightful because I wasn't expecting it and it's to a comment I probably put way too much thought into which means there's often something fun to discuss. Likewise - I love when people comment on my work with clearly thought out considerations and I know, from my own experiences, that many don't expect a reply and it'll be a nice surprise for them.
And, like I said - I'm trying to keep to things which spark joy. Spreading that joy in fandom is one such. World sucks enough - lets not add to it.
💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!
So uh.
I reblogged a meta from @exhaustedwerewolf a lil while back and it's because of that meta that Kash is now eating my brain apparently? I have gained a new blorbo. I will be resuming my other WIPs soonish - the intense rush of writing has definitely tapered off some - but uh. Now I have 2(.5) new WIPs, centring on Kash and Zahra.
Oops?
Look I just really like poking at characters and their trauma and Kash and Zahra are both fun and drastically different examples.
Anyway so uh.
From what we hear of Kash's backstory, that boy was raised in a cult? I'm so glad I've listened to the Gangster Capitalism series on Liberty University and read/watched/listened as much as I have to stuff about cults and cult-like entities and abuse within those structures because uh.
Boy has some shit to pick through!
(It's extremely engaging.)
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Hey listen, for whatever it’s worth. I’ve not even started reading your fic yet (planning to) (executive dysfunction has got me in a stranglehold rn), but the *reason* I’m planning to do so is you’re one of the very few people on RWBY tumblr whose analysis of Cinder/Jaune/the story generally rings true to me. I really really admire how plugged in you are to the text and (importantly, this is the specific thing that made me go “I gotta read Skimming Eye”) I feel that way even when my own analytical lens leads me to different conclusions from yours—it’s like. You GET it. You’re down in the bedrock of this story cracking open geodes. I’m sorry you’re feeling badly about the fandom’s general preference for pebbles. I’ve been holding off with the intention of actually, um, reading your fic before saying anything but here we are. I appreciate you and your reading of this story so much. Thank you for sharing.
I'm not really only talking about the fanon here but the commenting culture in general. For years I have put up with people negging my fanfic and I'm really tired of it. I don't want to interact with people who don't like major components of it. I don't find the criticism helpful (I have specific people I refer to for this) and I don't ask for it and I specifically don't request comments anymore so I don't seem ungrateful when they inevitably make me upset. I must've been unclear in the previous posts I made: it's not only the fanon I'm taking umbrage with here, it's the engagement itself.
Likely nothing is going to change, I just don't want anything to do with it right now and I don't want to post anything right now.
If everybody wants to know how pathetic I am, I go to other fandoms and read the comments sections for nicer fandoms and I think about how nice those people are and how happy they make those fic authors.
I have anonymously posted a fic work in a different fandom of a completely different demographic (non-anime adjacent) and the difference is night and day. I have slightly edited the statistics to anonymise it but these are the stats on a single oneshot for a different rarepair:
By the way, Skimming Eye has about a couple of hundred more kudos than that. So I'm aware it's statistically not a well-liked work lol.
But hopefully this also separately demonstrates I don't care about the status side of it. This anonymous posting is not a particularly inflammatory work, it's just in a different fandom from what I usually post in and I didn't want to open up another account for it.
I could cope if I were not getting comments altogether because there's a world of difference between writing for a rarepair for its own sake and the experience of the RWBY fandom.
I'm not asking for a hugbox I just want people to leave me alone and stop expecting my fanfic to be catering to their fanon and I beg for people to just stop fucking qualifying about how bad x component is. 'Oh most of this is shit but I really liked it!' The only bit I'm going to zero in on is the material substance particularly if it's non-canonical characterisation. Non-canonical characterisation is the most grievous issue one could possibly take with my work. The rest of it is irredeemable if so and honestly effectively makes the work pointless. The only reason to write is canon.
To be entirely honest I'm not sure how you can have an opinion on my fanfic without having read it and even here you say that your analysis departs from my own so how can you possibly know it's any good?
You're not obligated to say anything positive and that's not what I'm angling for, much as I appreciate the spirit of what you've said here.
I just don't want anything to do with the fandom right now and I'll have to figure out how I feel about it all later, if I decide to moderate comments or just turn them off altogether, because it feels like they do more harm than good now. I avoided checking my inbox for six months because of this.
I understand the RWBY fandom is not like other fandoms but where I come from when someone is sharing you their passion for free you treat them kindly. I don't read fanfic with fanon I don't like or pairings I don't like or writing that I fundamentally do not respect. I just move on. I extend courtesy to others I'd hoped would be extended to me.
Nothing will change so there's no point. I just need time away and to reconsider my options. Thanks for what you've said here. I hope you have a nice day. Don't stress about my reading my fic, take your time. You're under no obligation, and frankly you're probably not missing much. (Honestly, I really have no delusions about the quality of my work; that's not the point here).
Thanks again.
This reply is way too long but it's an issue I've been dealing with for a long time and I've just been told I'm ungrateful and should get over it and I really don't know what to do, that and I'm really tired. It's possible I'll be over it in a few days and I'll go back and dirty delete all these posts.
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So i saw on the 2023 in review post that you said a your fics 'flopped', what exactly did you mean by that. I know this can be relative but do you mean not getting comments or kudos or something else? I have kept up with your works and purely from my perspective it seems like you get comments and engagement and that so many others get enjoyment out of them (and say that).
I don't have an ao3 account, but when I heard about how important things like comments were to authors, I made an effort to leave guest comments on fics and authors know if I liked something. I don't quite know if this is enough, but I'm not really sure what else readers can do.
I mean comments. I know some people track hits or hit/kudos ratios or whatever else but i don't give a damn about ratios, it's all in the comments for me. the very point of fandom is to share things you love with likeminded people and get to actually talk about them, imo, so when I try to share a thing I loved and there's barely any response then it defeats the whole purpose to me and I am left starving.
and lol I get engagement? yeah sure some fics do get comments. but I've also posted multiple works (oneshots or chapters to bigger fics) that have gotten absolutely zero comments. none. nada. nothing. not even one. granted, full disclosure, I cried about it on tumblr and a couple of kind souls took pity on me and so not all of them are at zero currently, but the initial silence still hurt. there are fics that have been posted for months (or years) and are still at two comments, maybe three. on average I get three or four comments per fic. so I wouldn't exactly say I get great engagement. i know this is jealousy speaking but watching others get ten times that, easily, and not only on ao3 but also on tumblr… yeah it stings. I put my heart and soul into a fic, am excited to post it, am vibrating with enthusiasm… and then nothing. or a lukewarm response at best.
so idk, if "so many others" get enjoyment out of them, then why don't they tell me? I have gotten multiple messages along the lines of "oh you know i love all your fics!" and… how do i know? you never left a single comment and i'm not psychic! there's no way for me to know it. or people who send me a message saying they read everything i wrote and loved them… but didn't leave a single comment. how much did they actually enjoy the works if they couldn't be bothered to say it on even one damn fic? those messages are lovely, i do appreciate them, and they do make me smile. but at the same time i'd trade them for a single good comment on ao3 in a heartbeat. that's what's easily accessible and what i can go back to when i feel discouraged and unseen.
(also idk if i'm reading wrong between the lines but it feels like you're telling me you're for some reason keeping up with my shit while not actually enjoying it but ohh 'so many others do' at least? apologies if that's just my cranky morning brain misinterpreting things but ouch. that was kind of harsh.)
but it's also not only the amount of comments, it's also the substance. there are some fics that got (gasp!) four whole comments but they're all along the lines of "nice!" or "💖" and as much as those do make me smile when I get them (and I genuinely do appreciate them!) at the same time they are not feedback. they don't give me anything to work with. what did they like? was there something specific? please talk to me about it!
I'd kill to get actual feedback. it's the dream that people would notice the clever reference i made, or the beautiful sentence i wrote, or the way the beginning tied to the end. or tell me about the emotions the fic brought them, or the thoughts, or their favorite part, or idk. it's not like i get gushing messages on tumblr either, unlike some others, talking about a specific fic or whatever.
simply put, it's really fucking lonely, and if I wanna keep posting fics I'd need some kind of a motivating factor to make it worth the effort. for a while I had a friend who gave me plentiful feedback and I lived off of that, and it made it easier to deal with the scarcity of comments, but now that ship has sailed. so the lack of engagement from the rest of the fandom is more acutely felt.
i'm not saying this to guilt trip people or to nag. it's simply stating a fact. if posting fic isn't a positive experience, why should i keep doing it?
#anonymous#ask and i shall answer#not sure what your tone was meant to be tbh#but here we are#and again: short comments are absolutely lovely too!#not dissing them at all!#but at the same time they're not feedback#and my brain needs feedback to make this worth it#so idk
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Hi! Thinking back to your poll on concrit, I want to share my approach. When I am confused by a story, I might say "when X happened, I expected Y only for Z to happen." Or, "I'm not sure why X happened. Maybe A or B?" I never want to say that the writing is wrong, or make judgements about how to improve it. So far, people haven't even interpreted what I'm doing as criticism, even though imo it's the most valuable kind of feedback an author can get!
I'll be honest: I got a little frustrated about the most popular reblog basically saying "sit down internet rando, shut up, and say something nice or nothing at all. No questions, no additional commentary." What they seem to want is just another kudos button that works per-chapter. What they were describing as constructive criticism was full analysis beta reading, which, yes, gives good concrit in a supportive safe space. However, not all concrit is the sort of deep dive into plot, themeing, and characterization that should only be given in a dialog with someone who knows the writer's goals. I've gotten unsolicited public analysis of Hiraeth and that was just awful to experience. We do not suggest plot lines or additional scenes in the comments of a story - especially a completed story as was the case for my Doctor/Donna fic.
However, what you are describing is also constructive criticism. So is "I lost track of who was saying what around X line, was it A saying This Thing and B saying That Thing to C?" So is "I'm a nurse and I think you used the word catheter when you meant canula." I think there should always be an equal amount of attention given to what worked really well when you point out what doesn't, but for more superficial things writers should expect a few comments that aren't just "good job" or a star emoji. We shouldn't be telling our audience that we don't want feedback at all. Some of the best comments I've gotten contained questions about the story that would count as "unwelcome criticism" by the standard of that hard-line post.
Look, I don't want to sound like a crabby old woman griping about this new generation, but you are going to feel slightly inconvenienced or mildly irritated from time to time and that is no great crime against you. Curate your online experience with a sledgehammer to protect yourself from things that would cause you great emotional harm, fuck terfs and all that, but if something is just a mild irritant put the sledgehammer down and shoo it away with appropriate prejudice. So no, sorry if that makes me an asshole, but I think "don't be rude" is the better advice than "only say positive things."
As someone who writes unreliable narrator stories staring sneaky little shits like Loki, Tony Stark, Merlin, and so on I know people are going to speculate a bit in the comments. Heck, ffn calls them 'reviews' so when I post over there people are sometimes going to rate me out of 10 and write up an actual review. I'm going to get questions, and I'm going to give cryptic answer. A lot of time that's fun, but sometimes people get pushy or rude about it and I have to:
Deal with feeling slightly icky.
Ignore the comment or handle it with grace.
What I don't do is reply "no criticism accepted" and go at them like they ripped my baby apart or act like they had no right to irritate me. Take the nurse example. The specific comment I am thinking of came across a bit rude, it was just that I used one word and needed to have used another phrased like they were my elementary school teacher, but it was a 2/10 on the scale of rude things someone has said to me. I replied that sometimes I use the wrong technical word on purpose because the character doesn't know better, and then moved along because they were clearly trying to be helpful and just failed to communicate tone. We're writers, we're good at communicating via text. Not everyone is.
Opt-in is an approach that requires the audience know about it, but it is the right answer. It's people management. Signal to readers you know where you want the story to go, or if you are open to chatting in the comments. Set expectations and people will comment more and give feedback (mostly) on whatever you opted into. Otherwise turn the comments off, if you really just made it for yourself and don't want anyone to talk to you about it and you can't even handle a spelling correction.
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lululawrence's July 2022 Fic List
Previous Fic Lists / Lulu’s List Podcast Masterpost
The podcast episode for July is coming soon.
As always, be sure to show your love and appreciation for all of the hard work our fandom authors have put into their fics with kudos, nice comments, and (when applicable) reblogging their fic posts!
SEX 20mg by @jaerie / jaerie (3k, E, Harry/Louis, Sex Pollen, Friends to Lovers, Vegas, dubious consent (because of the Sex Pollen), recreational drug use, all the marathon sex (again because of the Sex Pollen lol), listen this fic is so filthy but once again Jenna came and gave it all the sweet feelings and I just don't know how she does that lol)
Full Moon Dreaming by @jacaranda-bloom / jacaranda_bloom (43k, E, Harry/Louis, Soulmates Abroad fic, Soulmates, Full Moon dreams, Firefighters, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, more like misunderstandings to friends to lovers lol, Kangaroo Island, Photographer Harry, Coastal Conservationist Louis, near death experience, Botanist Liam, Nurse Zayn, this fic is amazing in every single way, it sucks you in from the very beginning and the love Louis and all the boys have for the island is so clear, And the dynamics between all of them and how soulmates work in this world, it is just so incredibly cool and unique, I could rave about it for ages really)
To Be Gathered Round by @londonfoginacup / LadyLondonderry (G, 4k, Liam-centric OT5 Friendship, Larry are together but that's not the point of the fic so I'm calling it a friendship fic, Magic AU, they're all witches and attending a witches boarding school, it is such a lovely fic, all about friendship and belonging, and also there's talk of disabilities and it made me super emosh to read it all, I loved it really, this fic was also read on an episode of the @podfic-pals and it's great!)
leave my life outside (or let me in) by @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed / we_are_the_same (53k, M, Zayn/Liam, Big Bang fic, demon Zayn, demon Louis, demon Harry, human Liam, Halloween party, Hell, Angst with a Happy Ending, But like for real it's all the angst cause it's Mia so really you should expect that by now, Strangers to Lovers, Pining, like alllllll the pining hahaha, listen this fic is incredibly deep in so many ways, it looks incredibly far into morality and what is right and wrong as well as what makes someone good or bad, and it's just so stellar the way it all works together how it does, and the way the characters work through their shit and the side mentions of Nick as well as Harry slowly being brought into it all, it's just so incredible, the world building as well, amazing fic)
Strange Blue Water by @louistomlionson / sitandadmire (2k, M, Harry/Louis, Country Fest fic, Exes to Lovers, basically, it's open ended but I kinda forgot it was because I was able to construct such a full vision of their future together after this it felt like it was written out lol, for real though this fic was incredible, it was somehow hazy and hot and yet so visceral as well, I kinda screamed reading it because I was so taken by it, a short read but absolutely stellar, and soooooo much is packed into the word count it's incredible)
Truly, Madly, Crazy, Deeply by harriet_vane (30k, M, Liam/Louis, Accidental Marriage, Friends to Lovers, Falling in Love, Bed Sharing, Vegas, How funny that I read two fics that took place in Vegas this month, and they were the bookends lolllll, ANYWAY, this fic was the most delightful, watching Liam realize how much he loves Louis and always has was the best experience, It was so soft and natural and cute and fun, and Louis is just so obviously in love with him the entire time, even if he didn't realize it either, and their families' reactions???, and their friends' reactions?? like for real, it's just the most lovely and soft fic, I loved it)
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oi, march reads! I read a lot this month.
Please, don’t forget to leave a comment or kudos for the authors of these fics!
(The texts aren't the summary, just my ramble thoughts.)
Loving Cannibalism by glittering_git/@glittering-git (Mature, 2 works, 952 words) | Post-War, Angst, Established Relationship
Two marvellous and poetic histories about (loving) cannibalism. This is such a dark and heavy theme but the author does a great job writing and makes me enjoy reading them. (And I'm definitely here for more.)
(Please, read the Author's Tags.)
don’t say you love me, that’s extortion by LowerEastSide/@lower-east-side (Explicit, 1k) | Post-War, Angst, Fluff, Established Relationship
It is a domestic and loving and little sad history – about not saying 'I love you' but acting in that way.
The Pink Paradox by vina_writes/@dracothecupcake (Teen and Up, 1k) | Post-War, Humor, Auror Harry, Unspeakable Draco
Harry Potter Is Obsessed With Draco Malfoy TM. And Draco has pink hair. Have a fun time!
Harry's Promise by JosephineStone (Teen and Up, 2k) | Post-War, Angst, Reunion, Established Relationship
This one it's kind of part two of Circumpolar. The history continues the consequences of Draco's change, after the war – left me with a warm heart.
Burnt Casserole by Samunderthelights/@samunderthelights (General Audiences, 2k) | Post-War, Fluff, Established Relationship
Nervous Draco for Meeting Ron and Hermione. Getting back together and meeting your boyfriend's friends (who may hate you) showing them your (not) great cooking abilities.
Magical Homes, and Where to Find Them (in the arms of your lover) by Erebeus/@erebeus-roxy (General Audiences, 2k) | Post-War, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship
Who doesn't want some fluff established relationship sometimes? Harry has a painful case at work and then comes home to a calm and domestic night with his husband.
Together Like This by shealwaysreads/@shealwaysreads (Explicit, 3k) | Post-War, Getting Back Together
Draco Malfoy in the Muggle World TM. I find it so interesting reading stories where Draco denies Harry's love because of the war, and Harry is there to change his mind. Here we have that and it's written the super talented shealwaysreads.
For Old Times' Sake by thestarryknight/@the-starryknight (Teen and Up, 3k) | Post-War, Drugs, Potioneer Draco, Artist Harry
This one gives me such a cosy and domestic vibe. "'It's Complicated' is their relationship status" resume perfect what this fic is. (There're some cool references too, so pay attention.)
Like Gold by The_Sinking_Ship/@the-sinking-ship (Explicit, 4k) | Post-War, PWP
(It's always good to see.) Harry Has a Motorbike Just Like Sirius! Harry rides a motorbike and Draco rides him.
Harry and Draco's Little Talk by Ladderofyears (Teen and Up, 5k) | Post-War, Angst, Established Relationship, mpreg
Who doesn't hear 'I need to talk to you' by someone you like and run with? Harry thinks Draco will break up with him and freak (a little) out but maybe the subject of Draco's conversation is quite the opposite.
Sugar Sweet by The_Sinking_Ship/@the-sinking-ship (Teen and Up, 5k) | Post-War, Humor, Fluff, Auror Harry, Healer Draco
It is a very sweet story with a surprise party for Draco and Harry getting late but not so late.
Show them the night that they dreamed about before by fluxweed/@fluxweeed (Explicit, 6k) | Post-War, PWP, Threesome, Boss/Employee Relationship, Dubious Consent
(Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter/Percy Weasley)
All I have to say is: 😳😯🤫😈🔥🥵🔥🥵😈😏!
This Is How by bixgirl1/@bixgirl1 (Explicit, 6k) | Post-War, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, a/b/o
Omega Draco has an incident in the ministry Alpha Harry is there to help. After they fall in love! (One more reason to read: it's written by bixgirl1!)
It Never Occurred to Me That I Would Fall in Love With a Frenchman by lamerezouille/@elsalapizza (Teen and Up, 6k) | Post-War, Angst, Humor, Established Relationship
OMG, I never read something like this! The plot was so surprising – you will ever think about the Malfoys meeting the Dursleys? BOOM! Here it's a very awkward dinner that looks funny but has some depth stuff going on.
Litany by thistle_verse/@thistle-verse (Mature, 7k) | Post-War, Angst, Pandemic, Isolation, Touch-Starved, Ghost Draco
Ghost's story isn't my cup of tea, but I give this one a chance and don't regret it. The magic world is passing through a pandemic (just like us!), Harry is doing quarantine at home alone until ghost Draco, directly from Azkaban, shows up. Then, we have fluffy and sad conversations between the two and a turn of events in the end. (And lots of lists.)
As the Crow Flies by thestarryknight/@the-starryknight (Mature, 7k) | Post-War, Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Animagus Draco, Werewolf Harry
Draco helps Harry on a full moon night. Domestic vibes with some angst. 10/10!
Circumpolar by LowerEastSide/@lower-east-side (Teen and Up, 8k) | Hogwarts Era, Angst, Sectumsempra Scars
I see an amazing fanart and spend some days obsessed with Draco having worse scars from Sectumsempra. (There's, in this list, another two fanfics with this concept.) In this one, because of the pretty bad scars Draco's plan about the war change – is interesting to imagine how one incident could put another thing in perspective for him. And Draco and Harry have a touching conversation on the Astronomy Tower! (I'm a sucker for long expressive conversations about feelings.)
if somebody’s there, then tell me who. by kryptidfox/@kryptidfoxwrites (Explicit, 11k) | Post-War, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Housemates
Much more like Idiots to Lovers! Draco has a disastrous way to make Harry notice him – bring every man possible to a one-night stand then call their name very loud – until things go wrong when he brings a guy named Harry. I constantly have a good time reading these two making dumb thing in their path to be together.
Commander by Cassiopeias_shadow/@cassiopeiasshadow (Explicit, 14k) | Post-War, Horror, Suspense, Drugs, Animagi, Auror Harry, Light dom/sub
Almost a case fic with dark things in the plot. Draco is addicted to potions and in a pretty bad place when he has a chance to help the auros in a big case. It turns out that Draco got so much involved with the case he needed Harry, to make him put his feet on the ground – the fine line between doing everything to make up for your past or lost yourself doing things for the great good. Featuring: Harry as a snake and parselmouth kink.
(Please, read the Author's tags.)
Fire and Wonder by Lomonaaeren (Mature, 15k) | Post-War, Dark-ish, Veela
Lomonaaeren written dark Harry, I'm here for! After the war, Harry get wing and has some controversial ideas about The Great Good. So, we see him put these ideas into practice with his mate Draco.
Hold what's dear in your hands (and never let go) by Fae_vorite/@faevorite-main-blog, PollyWeasley/@polly-weasley (Explicit, 16k) | Post-War, Arrange Marriage, a/b/o, mpreg
I was always here for some a/b/o and this story is a chef kiss! Harry can't find a partner; So he goes to an upgrade tinder and matches with Draco, then they live happily ever after. Featuring intersex Draco and a lot of sex kinks.
Keep Me Close (I Need Your Faith) by aviforsrose (Explicit, 23k) | Post-War, Angst, Friends with Benefits, Light dom/sub
Idiots in love! The old same GOOD story: I love him but he loves me? Yes, of course! Man, you two have been pinning each other for years now. Let's do some love confessions.
The Critiquer by dysonrules (Explicit, 24k) | Post-War, Humor, Romance, Secret Identity
Drunk Harry doing dumb stuff with Seamus and Dean, take him a very funny drive to Draco's hearty. Draco and his assistant interactions was another very humorous part. Can't forget to congratulate who made all of the edits, principally the text divisors.
The Nobility of Ascent by Lomonaaeren (Explicit, 27k) | Post-War, Angst, Politics
I love reading Lomonaaeren stories with dark-ish Harry. This is another great example of just not the good or evil side. Harry can't Make a Better World because of pureblood politics so he goes to Draco for help.
Can I tell you something? by GallaPlacidia (Not Rated, 33k) | Post-War, Angst, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Sectumsempra Scars, Drugs, Auror Harry, Burlesquedance Draco
What I can say about this one? It's by GallaPlacidia, go read! The story takes place during a few years, after the war, Harry collides in parties with a drugged Draco, things happen – they lived a very real journey of connecting with someone, learning to love and to be loved and understanding the mistakes of the past... 10/10!
Says The Magpie To The Morning (Sorrow, Take Your Own Advice) by Femme/@femmequixotic (Explicit, 33k) | Post-War, Angst, Getting Back Together
Draco Horrible Sad TM after a breakup with Harry. Featuring so much PDA by Pansy/Ron, angst, miscommunication, angst, sharing a house with your ex and angst. If you are up to a sad time before a happy ending this nice story is here.
Eight Days (to Save the World) by gnarf/@gnarf (Mature, 47k) | Post-War, Friend to Lovers, Housemates, Case Fic, Auror Harry, Unspeakable Draco
Shit happens in The Wizard World again so Harry, Draco and company get together to Save The World Again. What will you do if you receive an order not so right by your superior? A very interesting story begins with the ministry's haunted easy target to blame for the new conspiracy. Enjoy too Protective Harry.
Turning Leaves by Kbrick (Explicit, 112k) | Post-War, Angst, Fluff, Time Travel, Auror Harry, Unspeakable Draco
Draco Tries to Concert His Friendship With Harry by Time Travel. This gives me The Cursed Child vibe but so much better, Draco goes to several scenarios trying to change one important moment in the past to make Harry like-like now. A great story who think about what will happen if Draco acts differently in the Hogwarts years.
Cannot Save You Now by tigrelilje (Mature, 132k) | Hogwart Era, Angst, Horror, Dark, Vampire Harry
Harry dies and comes back (as a vampire) for revenge! If you want to see Harry hating almost everybody this fanfic this here. Featuring: Slytherin Harry.
#desencanterec#drarry fic rec#drarry#drarry fanfic#if there's a mistake or some link is broken please let me know#hpdm
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comments are love, not currency
When I talk about commenting on fics, how important it is, how we should comment on every fic, every chapter we read, some people disagree with it.
They say:
“I leave comments only if it’s a great work”
“I don’t leave comments if it wasn’t a life-changing fic”
“I’m allowed to critic it if it’s not good enough”
It’s not their fault, not entirely. Such sentiments come from casual readers, people who aren’t active creators, and who aren't deep in fandom, and who don't understand how fandom works.
When it comes to fanfics, these guys have a flawed understanding of how fandom works, how to keep it alive and flourishing.
I talk about fanfics because for written texts it'd much harder to monetize and promote your works, but it goes to all the other forms of fandom creativity.
The basic misunderstanding comes from how casual readers treat fandom creations.
Broke: Fanfiction as a commercial product.
Well, they treat fics, like yet another Netflix movie or Amazon book. They treat fics like something that for created to gain money. They treat fics like something they paid for.
you feel entitled to get the best quality
When I buy something it's the right state, but it's not applicable to fics. We write to them not to satisfy you, an imaginary customer.
you believe that your tastes CAN and SHOULD form a market
Again, your taste matters for Netflix or Disney, because you are their customer. With fandom, you eat what you get, commission artists, or create content yourself.
when you rate a work positively feel like you’ve done more than enough.
Imagine you finished reading a book, will you go to GoodReads, or to the author’s website and rate it? More often than not, the answer is no, especially when you enjoyed it. When we positively rate a product, we do a favor for the owner, we give more than needed, we help them and promote them.
THAT’S NOT TRUE FOR FICS.
Your critic save others from bad content
You watched a bad movie, and now you want to help your fellow humans and warn them.
You critic because you entitled to do so
It’s true when you bough a product. It’s not the case for fandoms
You critic because you don’t need to think about the feelings of the creator
We know perfectly well, that majority of professional writers, artists, directors won’t read your comments. They simply don’t have time for that. When you leave a bad comment, you leave it, as I said, for other customers. In fandom, the author will read it, and you will hurt them and discourage them.
Woke: Fanfiction as a community party
You may wonder, if fics aren’t a product, so what they are? The best analogy is a community party: a lot of people gather together to socialize, discuss their interests, share their creations. Imagine, fics as tasting a free cookie at a gathering.
You tasted a cookie. It was fine, but it wasn’t great. How do you act?
You smile and politely say thank you. You acknowledge, that someone put time and effort into preparing it, and you understand that everything can’t be a perfect fit for your taste.
You tried something great, huh?
Tell the creator about it. That what you would normally do in the offline world.
Even if you don’t like it, at all, you act politely
If you tasted a blunt cake or a tough cookie you won’t attack your neighbor, right? If you do that it would destroy a whole party. It would discourage everyone else and upset people.
You don’t like it? Just close a tab.
Yes, if someone has done something malicious, or dangerous, yes, you should notify others.
Someone brought a shit cake, and act like it’s chocolate. Yes, tell them and others that it’s not right. Still, be polite.
But if someone properly marked a shit cake as a cake with shit, and you still ate it, it’s your problem.
Leaving kudos is a bare minimum
So kudos in this example are a bare minimum — it’s like semi-politely smile after tasting a dish and walking away.
If you just leave kudos, I’d assume that you didn’t like it at all.
That doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t smile aka leave Kudo. it means you should also SAY thank you. And yes, you should do it even if it wasn’t the best fic ever, but it was rather good, and you somewhat liked it.
If they were great, say so. Express your gratitude. That’s the easiest way to encourage people to do more.
Imagine a community party where a small number of people bring free desserts, and everyone else just silently goes from one stall to another. That wouldn’t work. Such a community would slowly die. It can’t function only on the enthusiasm of the creators. It can’t function only if you support “great” works. It can’t function if you don’t show your love for older fic, for novice creators, for non-perfect content.
TL;DR: Do as much as you can. Leave kudos, leave comments, encourage authors and artists, create rec lists, make appreciation post.
If you won’t do it, it will be no party for anyone.
#ao3#fanfiction#fandom#comments#fanfic writing#fanfic meme#kudos#archive of our own#pro shipping#pro ao3#comment culture#comment#fanfic written problem#fic#ao3 writer#fandom meta#fanfic meta#my rant
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r + e fic rec
a collection of 40+ completed reddie fics i’ve read on ao3 and loved; ranging from soft to cute to funny to ridiculous to angsty. you may have read some of this, you may not have, but these are all worth your time. if you read any of these and enjoy them then remember to leave a kudos and a comment for the author to let them know that you liked it!
✨ - Fav 😎 - fun/funny 💕 - Soft 💜 - cute (cute cute!) 🌹 - emotional / atmospheric ⚠️ - angsty ⚔️ - nsfw
💕 up off the floor - kaspbrak_kid
“In a world where we can kill a fucking clown from space, Eddie Kaspbrak doesn’t get to die from a stab wound."
15.3k words. 6 chapters.
Note - the Most soft. tender. taking care of each other and getting together. this author also has a wip that’s a lot more sad but with as much Yearning as this one so i’d recommend you check their stuff out.
💕 And All The Time He’s Mumbling - monarchyofroses
“It suits you.” Richie frowned. “Huh?” “Being in love,” Ben clarified. “It suits you.” Richie smiled, then, so hard that it made Ben wonder how his face had not splitted in two. “I’m in fucking limerence, man.”
2.7k words. 1 chapter
Note - ben and richie have a Conversation about the loves of their lives basically. Truly Soft.
💕 What He’s Mumbling? - monarchyofroses
"But. But that's what you do for..." "...A friend," Maggie finished for him, or well, not exactly for him, considering he was about to come out. Richie to God, if you exist and this is your revenge for my atheism, it's not funny. Also, you suck.
3.5k words. 1 chapter.
Note - coming out! i love the toziers. part 2 of the same series the previous fic is from.
💕 💜 No Mistakes - usnavi
When Richie Tozier tells Eddie Kaspbrak he loves him, they're watching Jurassic Park and Eddie's wearing his clothes like it's all meant to be this way.
1.4k words. 1 chapter.
✨ 💜 Richie Tozier: Come Out and Play - piginawig
Richie Tozier: Come Out & Play, a new Netflix special! Comedian Richie Tozier is back after a very public mental breakdown. And he's ready to (over)share.
5.7k words. 1 chapter.
Note - My personal favorite version of this trope.
😎 Richie Tozier, an Apple Music Listener - plinys
Apple Music ✓ @AppleMusic Thanks for the support @trashmouth! We love to see loyal #AppleMusic fans! Apple Music ✓ @AppleMusic Also, in unrelated news, the #AppleMusic recommended song of the day is “thank u, next” by Ariana Grande.
1.2k words. 1 chapter.
Note - Post Chapter 2. I’m a sucker for fics involving social media. Also, this is funny and lighthearted and i love it.
😎 Retweet. - plinys
richie tozier ✓ @trashmouth what did i miss lol
3k words. 1 chapter.
Note - Post Chapter 2.
😎 💜 ⚔️ Let’s Hear It For The Boy - sloppybitch
Eddie’s just trying to see if he’s not alone when he downloads Grindr on his phone. It’s by pure, terrifying coincidence that one of the first messages he receives on there is from none other than Richie freaking Tozier. Long story short: trashmouth;) (11:03PM): oh me, oh my. fancy seeing u here Eddie (11:33PM): holy FUCKING SHIT.
9.8k words. 1 chapter.
Note - Part 1 of an ongoing series.
😎 💜 ⚔️ Let’s Give The Boy a Hand - sloppybitch
After finding each other on Grindr and sharing a couple of saucy texts and a phone call that would make a nun faint, Richie and Eddie find each other in the clubhouse, and they... talk. Sure, they talk. Let’s call it talking. Beverly, meanwhile, discovers that none of the Losers have ever gotten drunk, and what’s being a teenager without breaking a few drinking laws? Ben has a free house, and Eddie has never been more afraid of a game of Truth or Dare in his entire fucking life.
24k words. 1 chapter.
Note - Part 2 of the series the previous fic is part of.
✨ 💜 Five Times The Losers Gave Richie Permission - toomuchrootbeer
The Losers keep trying to tell Richie something, but he's never been great at taking a hint.
10.7k words. 1 chapter.
Note - anything that has all of the losers really present in their fics is the loml. some mentions of period typical racism and homophobia but no slurs, mainly mentioned for context of the time.
✨ 💜 Husband and Husband - thatsuperawkwardgirl
Richie gets the idea at the end of kindergarten, when the teacher has everyone do projects on their families. The class talks about how some families have moms and dads who are married, and some don’t. Richie being…well, Richie, he goes straight home and asks his parents why they got married if they didn’t have to. Richie learns about marriage and love, and comes up with an excellent plan.
7.8k words. 1 chapter.
Note - the sweetest, most adorable fic ever. couldn’t stop smiling. Part 1 of an ongoing series.
💜 A Good Husband - thatsuperawkwardgirl
Eddie sits in a chair in front of the principal’s desk, bouncing his leg anxiously--a habit he picked up from Richie, that annoying little twerp. Mrs. Smith is calling his mother for the third time in the last hour, and Eddie knows she won’t be picking up; Wednesday mornings are when she runs her errands and doesn’t return until late afternoon. This is the perfect time to get suspended, Eddie really has to pat himself on the back for that one. Eddie gets in trouble at school for fighting, and Maggie Tozier comes to pick him up.
2.5k words. 1 chapter.
Note - Part 2 of Married Life, the same series the previous fic is a part of. Truly so ridiculously cute it makes me want to scream.
😎 💜 light as a feather (got you and i together) - anniebibananie
RICHIE: why the fuck does eddie look so cute today RICHIE: his sweater sleeves keep falling down over his palms, like how could I see that and not think “I know exactly how to keep those sleeves up, just hold my hand” BEN: richie this is so sweet! BEN: but I feel like you didn’t mean to send this to me? RICHIE: This message will self-destruct in five seconds. [or Richie accidentally texts Ben about his feelings for Eddie and everyone gets involved]
1.6k words. 1 chapter.
Note - could not stop smiling the whole way through.
✨💜 the years go by like days - georgiestauffenberg
It’s Eddie he wants to get a hold of, though, and he does, tucking him under his arm, and ruffling his hair, making him laugh. He’s startled when Eddie looks at him with such happy, shining eyes. And, for a split-second, he’s tempted to kiss him right then, right there in front of everyone. He wants to. Badly. He doesn’t. He leans in, instead, and he smacks a loud, wet kiss to Eddie’s cheek, punctuating it with a “mwah!” He does it again and again. “I’m so proud of my little Eds Spagheds!” “Get off me!” Eddie says, laughing and shoving him away, swatting at his hands. AU. in the 27 years in-between, Richie and Eddie forget a lot, but they don't forget each other.
121.9k words. 4 chapters.
Note - make sure you have the time before starting this because i couldn’t stop once i started. god. really good.
💕 come on, come on - Chokingonholywater
“Yo, Eddie, play some music, will ya?” When Richie asks Eddie to put on some music in the car that day after school, Eddie doesn't think anything of it. It's a familiar request; he knows the passcode to Richie's phone, knows where Spotify is, knows what Richie likes to listen to while he drives. But what Eddie doesn't know is why, exactly, there's suddenly a playlist his name on it - literally.
8.6k words. 1 chapter.
Note - They’re in Love. and they have a playlist to prove it.
💕 sleepover - sleqnir
“You jealous?” Richie tilts his head. “Jennifer is kinda hot.” He’s referring to Ben’s girlfriend. Eddie’s face falls. “Oh. Um… no. I��m happy for him. I just…” “Want it too?” Richie’s jaw clenches. His chest aches in a way all too familiar. “A girlfriend? For yourself?” Eddie’s looking at him nervously. “I want… a relationship. I guess.” Richie looks back up at the ceiling, giving another millionth sigh. “Yeah, well… don’t sweat it so much. You’re not the only one.”“You want a girlfriend?” “I want a... relationship.” He mimics Eddie’s words.
2.5k words. 1 chapter.
🌹 ⚔️ the anatomy of a joke - crescenteluce
He trails off and Bev raises an eyebrow. ‘So, you being in bed together fits in there how exactly?’ ‘No, Jesus, Bev.’ Eddie says and Richie, horrifyingly, feels his cheeks heat under Bev’s suspicious look. Something needs to be done, so he plucks Eddie’s phone from his hands. ‘I am appalled by your implications, Beverly.’ He says sternly, trying to ignore the blood still not quite done rushing to his face. ‘I would have you know that I’d never defile Eddie like that, the poor man’s 40 year old and still a virgin and if I’d have the honor of-’ He’s cut off by Eddie trying to wrestle the phone away from him as Bev cackles delightedly.
11.7k words. 1 chapter.
💜 say what you mean (out loud) - Redburn
Richie can’t help it when something heavy refuses to leave his stomach, something relentless and daunting. He looks at Eddie and can’t help but want, can’t help but need, watching this boy watch the stars and thinking he would be happy to spend the rest of his life just like this, right here standing next to him. Or, Richie realizes he likes Eddie and promptly goes through the five stages of grief.
7.4k words. 1 chapter.
Note - Good ol’ fluff with slight internalized homophobia and a whole lot of yearning.
💜 across the gap - sondersoflight
“You fucking stupid asshole,” Eddie says but he is smiling when he leans forward, grabbing Richie by the lapels of the ridiculous bright yellow shirt with dancing avocados he is wearing. “I’m the fucking love of your life.”
6.4k words. 1 chapter.
💕 💜 Five Times Richie Kisses Eddie and One Time He Doesn’t Have To - multifandomtakeover
Eddie Kaspbrak is a little inexperienced in the kissing department and Richie Tozier is more than willing to help him out.
5.7k words. 1 chapter.
✨ 🌹 💕 ⚠️ No Saints, No Sinners, No Devil As Well - saooharine
Andy Muschietti looked at Eddie Kaspbrak so now I feel obligated to repair the damage and make it gayer.
Following Richie from the sewer showdown and to the hospital with Eddie and the Losers Club by his side.
6.2k words. 1 chapter.
⚔️ In This Cold Heart - pineapplecrushface
The future Richie sees while he's caught in the deadlights gives him a chance to save Eddie. In the year afterward, they both try to follow Stan's advice.
16.9k words. 1 chapter.
💕 💜 ⚠️ 🌹 Wouldn’t it be nice? - podcastalien
Richie wonders what exactly is supposed to be so great about being a kid as he tries to carve initials into the kissing bridge.
2.5k words. 1 chapter.
⚔️ Men of Fall - kaboomslang
Do you remember? He watches his own hand slide closer along the armrest. Do memories transfer by touch, in this fucked up magic town? Remember, Richie, please, and tell me I wasn’t imagining things.
7k words. 1 chapter.
💜 Any Man’s Game - tossertozier
It's two months before graduation, and Richie and Eddie can turn virtually anything into a competition. Even kissing.
10.5k words. 3 chapters.
💜 ⚠️ ⚔️ This safe place - tinyarmedtrex
Eddie asks Richie to pretend to be his boyfriend at his family reunion. What’s the worst that can happen?
31k words. 14 chapters.
⚠️ ⚔️ Stay for the Storm - inoubliable
Richie and Eddie had become friends almost on sight. Since they met, most of Eddie's time in Los Angeles has involved Richie in some way. It's a little different, now that they're both famous. It's a little different, now that they're sleeping together. Well, to be fair, they've been sleeping together for a long time, but. No one knows, not even their friends. Eddie has been very careful about that. It's just not the sort of publicity he needs. So when Beverly calls him that sunny Thursday morning, the last thing he expects her to say is, "You're fucking Richie?"
20.8k words. 1 chapter.
💜 and this is who we are - sunsetozier
He realizes, suddenly, that being in a position like this meant nothing to him two weeks ago. At the time, it was completely normal, holding no real meaning other than comfort and tradition – after all, him and Eddie have been disgustingly cuddly with one another since they were kids, even though they’d usually bicker while holding each other close, much to the annoyance (and entertainment) of their friends. Now, however, Richie can feel his heart skip a beat in his chest, an undeniable thundering that echoes loudly in his ears. He can picture his younger self, as much of an oblivious idiot as he may have been, soaking in the warmth and the affection of Eddie’s touch when they hugged, shoved, or even just nudged one another. It’s funny, really, how much changes once you’re aware of how you feel. [In which Eddie and Beverly lie to their friends for five years before finally coming out, much to the surprise of one supposedly straight Richie Tozier.]
40.7k words. 8 chapters.
💜 hawaii hottie - sunsetozier
Letting his eyes flutter shut in order to avoid everyone’s gazes, Richie meekly explains, “I got another letter from Eds, okay? And I know he’s on vacation, doing all these cool things, and I know Hawaii is, like, super sunny and everything, but- guys. Guys.” He stops, unable to force out the words he wants to. From somewhere off to his left, he hears Bill say, “Spit it out, man. What’s the big deal?”“ There was a polaroid in this letter,” Richie tells them. He would be embarrassed, but by this point they all know how smitten he is, so there’s no reason to be bashful as he practically whines out, “And he’s getting hotter.” [In which Eddie goes on vacation and Richie can't deal with it.]
4.6k words. 1 chapter.
💜 He Came In Through the Window - mischiefmanager
"It’s finally happened. I cannot fit through this goddamn window. I’m out of ideas." or Eddie enlists the help of two other Losers to help fix his bedroom window, and finally spills the beans about what's going on between him and Richie.
11.3k words. 1 chapter
💜 Home - mischiefmanager
“Tooooozier-Kaspbrak residence,” Richie says cheerfully, holding the phone up to his ear. “May I ask who—oh hello, Mrs. K! How the fuck are you?” Richie and Eddie living together in LA, being in love and dealing with Mrs. K long-distance.
6.9k words. 1 chapter.
✨ ⚠️ hit me baby one more time - theappleppielifestyle
Richie reaches up a shaking hand and puts it on Eddie’s stomach. “Uhhh,” Eddie says. “Is this a bit? Is this a really inopportune bit? ‘Cause I don’t know if you’ve noticed, Richie, but this is kind of an important moment-” “What the fuck,” Richie says, not for the first or last time, and lurches forwards to hug him. (Or, Richie gets stuck in a time loop.)
11.1k words. 1 chapter.
💕 are we living for the feeling? - michelllejones
“You’re such an idiot,” Eddie tells Richie with a frown. He snorts at that. “Says you. Your knees are all bloody. You fall off your bike or something?” He asks, and for a split second Eddie thinks he can hear genuine concern in his voice. He’s probably just imagining it, though, since Richie’s only ever concerned about two things: his dick, and the size of it.“ So what if I did?” Eddie bites back, feeling almost defensive. Richie should be the last person teasing him about falling off of a bike. Especially since Eddie watched him trip over his own foot less than a week ago! or, Eddie takes a tumble and goes to Richie for help.
4.5k words. 1 chapter.
💕 what would they say? - michelllejones
And despite telling Eddie he would, he doesn’t go home—at least not at first. He isn't sure what wills him to do it, but his bike takes him in the other direction, past the Barrens and to the street, right to the Kissing Bridge in all its vandalized glory. Slurs and poorly carved hearts and names he doesn’t recognize stare back at him as he digs into his jeans and pulls out his dad’s old pocketknife.
4.1k words. 1 chapter.
💕 back in the summer - michelllejones
“What?” Eddie snaps, feels immediately defensive. “Why are you looking at me like that? Do I have something on my face?” Self consciously, he buries his nose into his comic book. Glares at Richie over the brim, frown tugging at the corners of his mouth. He waits for Richie to take the bait, provide some half clever quip that will catapult them into some sort of argument, as is customary. But the taunt never comes. Instead, he reaches forward—with a look in his eyes that if Eddie didn’t know any better would let himself think is almost fond—takes a curl in between gentle fingers and says, “your hair’s longer,” in a tone so tender it is almost unrecognizable.
1.6k words. 1 chapter.
💕 ⚠️ savage - inoubliable
Eddie Kaspbrak is twelve years old. He's kissed for the first time. And then kissed again. -- "You're bisexual." Eddie has never said the word out loud before, and it feels a little taboo, but it also feels like a weight off his chest. "You like boys and girls. It isn't weird, and it isn't gross, and you aren't selfish because of it. You aren't dirty or disgusting. You're Richie Tozier, and you're my best friend. I'm Eddie Kaspbrak, and I'm an idiot. I get it."
3.7k words. 1 chapter
💕 💜 Morphine - inoubliable
Eddie Kaspbrak is fourteen years old. He's a lot more honest with himself when he's drugged. -- They all crowd around Eddie's bed, their faces shimmering a little. Eddie has to squint to make out their features, and he laughs once he does. They all look so worried. Eddie feels great. "Oh my God," Stan says, at the same time that Richie says, "He's high."
2k words. 1 chapter.
💕 We Were Here - inoubliable
Eddie Kaspbrak is fifteen years old. It's the first time he kisses Richie Tozier. -- Eddie has a couple of options, here. He can pretend he didn't just realize what Richie has been trying to tell him the whole time. He can pretend like Richie is just being a jerk when he flirts and teases and taunts. He can pretend like they're just friends, and then they can stay just friends, and nothing will change. Or he can kiss Richie. He kisses Richie.
2.3k words. 1 chapter.
💕 ⚔️ The Ever After - websters_lieb
Eddie lives, and life goes on. Or The story of how Richie and Eddie sort out their shit and realize that they've been in love the whole damn time while they work towards their happily ever afters.
20.8k words. 5 chapters.
⚠️ In the Glow of the Vending Machine - sentimentalscribe
“I can’t believe that I’m going to live an eternity in hellfire over a hypochondriac who would probably make sweet love to his inhaler given the chance.” Alternatively: Beverly Knows way before these chucklefucks do. Alternatively: It's the '80s in a small town and having a panicked confession to your best friend is not nearly as fun as it sounds.
3.5k words. 1 chapter.
💜 😎 eddie gets grindr - BookRockShooter
I shouldn’t be doing this, Eddie thinks as he opens his phone. Is this technically illegal? he thinks as he clicks the app store icon. Well, it’s definitely fucking wrong either way, he thinks as he types grindr into the search bar. - Eddie downloads grindr and rediscovers an old friend - and crush - on it.
2.1k words. 1 chapter.
⚠️ confessions in the dark - BookRockShooter
Richie nods to himself. “Okay. Talk. I can do that. Hey, you know a trope in movies I always hated? When, like, the main character’s love interest is fatally wounded and dy–” He trails off, staring at Eddie with a haunted look in his eyes. “Well. You know. And, uh, the main character chooses that exact moment to confess their undying love? Like, shit, they’ve always got the worst timing.” He laughs, short and shaky, and Eddie thinks, Oh my god. “So, what, they wait until the last moment to say something? Isn’t that fucked up? Because, now, they’ll never have time to… to be happy together.” His eyes are shiny and, suddenly, all Eddie wants to do is wipe away his tears. Wants to help him feel better, because Richie Tozier doesn’t deserve to be in so much pain, not on Eddie’s behalf. “Richie,” Eddie murmurs, and he hates himself for what he’s about to say. “Richie, I… I love you.” - *fix it fic for chapter 2 bc fuck canon reddie is real*
2.2k words. 1 chapter.
💜 😎 head lights pointed at the dawn - starkmccall
"You do realise this means people around the world are gonna hear about how much I love your dick, right?" Richie says, tucked behind Eddie in bed late one night.
He can almost see Eddie squint at him. "That's not actually a part of the show, is it?"
Post-Chapter Two. Eddie lives. Richie goes back to comedy.
3.2k words. 1 chapter.
#reddie#eddie kaspbrak#richie tozier#it#it chapter 2#it chapter 1#fic rec#reddie fic#my fic rec#i ramble#nhrfgsk i spent So long on this pls enjoy#im posting this as soon as i finish it#i can reblog it at a reasonable time later
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Hi, I'm a fellow writer in the fandom and I admire your work. I wanted to ask, as a popular writer, do you get fixated sometimes on the number of kudos/comments/hits etc that your new work gets, and does this impact your motivation/inspiration? I think comparison is the thief of joy, and I really want to get over this feeling when I post my own work, so was wondering if even popular and regular writers such as yourself feel like this to, and if , what's your secret? Thanks!
Hi! 1) You are so sweet, ahh, and 2) YES, I DO. Gosh, yes, I absolutely do get insecure about those kinds of things, and I think that anyone who says they don't ever feel that way is either lying (to themselves, possibly) or maybe just pure magic, like some cross between a writer and a unicorn.
I love ao3 and I love all of its metrics and I love numbers and statistics, but there’s definitely that shadow side where having all of that easily available makes it deceptively easy to compare your own work to other people’s. I do it all the time! It honestly makes it a little hard for me at times to read h50 fic and fully enjoy it, because I keep... looking at it and wondering how my own stacks up against it, unwillingly. That's not a relaxing experience, and sometimes not even a very fun one. (Another part of it is that I just write SO MUCH for h50 and there is SO MUCH I still want to write, and I don’t want to risk reading something that’s very close to an idea I had and then never being quite sure if what I write after that was influenced by the other person’s work or if it’s really still my idea, because I have this (pretty irrational) fear of accidentally stealing someone else’s work even though one of the really great things about fandom is that it’s a very collaborative process as a whole and being inspired by other people’s stuff is usually totally okay, buuuut that’s a different rambly story.)
And I definitely do also get... some cringey feelings, hardcore, around fics I posted that don't do very well numbers-wise. Sometimes it's expected - fic that doesn't follow traditional formats or doesn't feature Steve/Danny, for example, is always something where I KNOW it won't get as much attention because I know how fandom works and that lessens the sting because it doesn't HAVE to hold up to those other fics that perform way better, because I already know it's not really comparable. The truth is, of course, that most fic is not really comparable to other fic, but it’s easy to fall into that trap anyway. If I post something that seems like my average kind of work and it gets less kudos or comments than usual, I do start to doubt the fic and second-guess myself - is something about this weird? Is it too [insert quality x]? Is it bad? Did I unknowingly do something terrible and people are now avoiding me? The answer to all of those is probably no, and going through it a bunch of times has definitely helped, because what usually happens is that I end up somewhat avoiding the fic in question because it makes me a little ashamed and awkward to think about it (a relative failure! oh no! I'm human!) and then, eventually, I return and reread the fic. By that point I have enough distance from it in time that I can look at it a lot more objectively, and it's way easier to see what works and what does not than when I posted it and I had just read it a dozen times in twenty-four hours and the words were burned into my brain. And upon that reread, inevitably, I realize that, holy shit, it was NOT AS BAD as I had made it out to be in my mind! It’s actually kind of fun! Imagine the ego boost of realizing your most cringy recent work is actually pretty okay, haha, and it's silly, but it's a revelation every time. The quality of a fic is not dictated by how many people read it or comment on it or like it, and intellectually I absolutely know that, but it’s hard to remember when it’s about yourself and you’re still in that emotionally vulnerable place of having just shared your work with the world and it feels like the world is not as into it as you thought (or hoped) it’d be. It’s honestly very, very reassuring to have those experiences to fall back on, but sadly the only way I know to get there is to just tough it out and feel super awkward for a while.
When I’m writing, on the other hand, I usually don’t really think about what other people might think of it. I have the advantage that (pretty much) all of my work consists of fairly short stand alone stories, which means I don’t have to struggle with keeping my motivation up for a second chapter of something but I get to start fresh every time, and that’s nice, because I can just lose myself in the joy of throwing words around and making characters do things that make me giggle. That’s not to say I never think of the outside world while writing - I realized, pretty recently, that I occasionally end up constructing paragraphs or pieces of dialogue a certain way mostly so it will make for a good excerpt to put in the eventual fic description, which might give me a sense of accomplishment because it’s nice when things work out and look good, but in all fairness it’s probably far more motivated by attempts to package the finished work attractively so other people will want to click on it than by anything else. I don’t know if that’s a bad thing. I don’t think so - I don’t feel like it lessens my work and it doesn’t interrupt my enjoyment of it in the moment, which are the key elements for me - but other people might disagree.
But the heart of thing is, just, there are SO MANY factors that influence a fic’s numbers, and not all of them are visible (I’d argue most of them aren’t, in fact), and it always helps me to keep that in mind. It puts things in perspective somewhat and softens the harshness of a black and white kudo count judgment. Numbers can depend on when you post a fic (what day of the week, time of the year, time relative to big fandom moments, whether you’re in the middle of a global pandemic or not), how you pick your title, what you put in the description, how you use the tags, what genres or tropes are popular in your specific fandom, the genre of your fic in general (pwp as a rule tends to get lots of hits and few kudos or comments, for example, making it totally unfair to compare it to G-reated fluff fic with super different ratios), how much you’ve posted before (because if someone likes one of your works, they’re often likely to check if you have more in the same fandom), how many fics other people post around the same time (because yours might be gone from the first page of most recently updated works in a fandom or ship tag very quickly if others push it out), how big your fandom is(!!!) (over two thirds of my works on ao3 are for h50, but h50 only makes it into the top 10 of my most kudo’d works by the skin of its teeth) and definitely also what your fandom’s culture is like (compared to a lot of other fandoms, h50 fans are a-ma-zing when it comes to leaving comments, my gosh, and as a writer I adore all of you), how old your ao3 account is (the longer you’ve been around, the more likely a higher number of people is subscribed to you as an author or has read your previous work or has encountered your name, etc), how long your fic is (under a thousand words in my experience generally does less well than 1-5k, but longer fics might end up with lots of chapters which switches things up because people come back to it when there’s an update, and even if a long work is all in one chapter it will probably stand out for the wordcount and might attract attention that way, etc), whether or not your fic is part of a series (in my experience it will probably get more hits because it’s a chain of fics that leads you to the next one, but the kudos might not go up at the same rate because people might forget a kudo or reread previous works when a new one is added), whether you make a habit of commenting on other people’s fic (I’ve had comments saying MY comment on their work led them to my fic!), if you have social media like Tumblr or Twitter where you can promote your work (it’s advertising, basically), and any of a bunch of random little other factors. Sometimes, I see a sudden little cluster of kudos on an old fic in the daily ao3 kudos email, and I assume someone somewhere maybe recced that fic, but it usually remains a total mystery who or where or even if it happened at all and wasn’t just a weird coincidence to begin with. Sometimes the thing a fic’s popularity depends on is really just whether it clicks with people at that point in time, whatever that means, which is an even more impossible thing to grasp or predict than anything else.
Or you can look at things from a totally different angle and not try to make yourself care less about numbers, but just accept that you do because you’re human and we all crave validation, and instead try to roll with that. A brain hack: when I do start getting down about numbers, it also helps me to focus on one work and just... try to visualise what those kudo (or hit or bookmark or comment) counts mean, if you were to translate them to the real world. While it can be super helpful to remember that there’s a LOT going on that you can’t see and that’s virtually impossible to really explain, it’s also nice to somewhat do the opposite and try to make things as concrete as possible instead. I like measuring in school classes (~25-30 heads, I’d say) and “my fic only has fifty kudos but this other person’s has ten times as many” could easily make anyone sad and demotivated, but “my fic has fifty kudos and that’s TWO WHOLE CLASSROOMS packed full of people that all read my work and liked it so much they wanted to give me a little thumbs up for it” is actually pretty cool and encouraging, I think. Or you could measure in sports teams (I don’t know sports, but soccer has 11 players on the field per team, so as soon as your fic has 33 kudos that’s three teams which means you’ve got yourself a little beginning league! how exciting!) or in DnD campaigns (variable of course, but most of mine have had around four players plus a DM, so if you have twenty kudos? that’s FOUR WHOLE DnD campaigns that enjoyed reading your fic, and it’s fully up to you how many half-orcs that includes). You could apply this method using literally any other measurement that works for you, too. If you have a hard time painting a mental image of numbers, you could even open up a Paint doc or get a piece of paper and start counting out little dots or copy-pasted images of a person, or get a big bag of physically present M&Ms and count them out, or take a good look at your dog and then go around the neighborhood and collect forty-nine more dogs and pile them all into your home and be slightly frightened by the utter delighted fluffy chaos that ensues in your living room. That’s how many people liked your fic! That’s a heck of a lot of wagging tails! Who knew a kudo could bark this loudly!
Disclaimer: maybe keep the dog thing as your very last resort, because your neighbors might not be super into their pet getting dognapped for the purpose of visualizing fanfiction stats. The point is really just to remember that there’s an actual person behind every kudo you get, no matter what the cumulative number is, and even if you have seven or five or three kudos, that’s seven or five or three very real people that hit that button. That’s pretty damn awesome. Also keep in mind how you feel if you read a fic, and take some time to realize that every single person that left you a kudo went through that same process of spending time reading words (the words you wrote!) and experiencing that story and THAT’S why they left that kudo. It’s a real person’s real investment.
This ended up very long and rambly, so tl;dr: You are in no way alone in feeling that way, it's okay and normal and so very very human to feel like that, but you still shouldn't let it get you down, because numbers fake being meaningful very well but are deep down just little squiggles on your screen and they’re more scared of you than you are of them, while at the same time there are real individuals that enjoy your work even if you usually never see them. Your fic is worth posting. That’s the one factor in all of this that’s a constant, not a variable.
(And as a very important sidenote, just be kind to yourself, always. Does it truly stress you out? Are you feeling really bad about it today? Does it make your anxiety spike? Then give yourself room to take a little step back and allow yourself some time away from it. Go watch something you enjoy, or read something nice, or do something else that makes you feel good. Fic is something that should add to your life, not subtract from it. You don’t owe anyone anything, not even yourself in this context, and I used to push myself occasionally to get something finished TODAY, and eventually I started realizing, well, why? Why not instead of reading it over again just get some sleep or watch an episode of something I want to watch, especially if I literally just finished the fic and I feel a little unsure about it and it might actually be beneficial to me and my own feelings about it if I just give it a day or even a week and let it rest and then look at it again and THEN post it, if I want to, whether that’s with some changes beforehand or not? Who set me that deadline that’s apparently looming over me? I did, and it’s fake, and it’s there for absolutely no good reason. Breathe. Put yourself first. Be really really really selfish about your own fic writing experience, even, because it’s supposed to be something you enjoy (that’s what a hobby is!), and the rest is secondary.)
#anon#ask#writing#ao3#it's very odd to get called a popular writer by the way oh my gosh#nice!!! so very nice!!! thank you!!! but also difficult to reconcile with my own internal image of myself#all the more evidence that brains lie to us all the time#*
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Hi folks!
So you know how I have written fics that I have locked on ao3? Yeah, those got reposted without my permission. To be clear, they didn't even ask my permission and get denied. They never asked. And they didn't just repost my fic - they reposted literally an entire fandom worth of fics. To a public google drive. Deleted fics and locked fics along with all the rest. Fics which are freely available to all on ao3 for the low, low price of 1 hit and maybe a kudos and the option of a comment if you are an extra generous reader.
Now, thanks to all the fabulous authors rightfully calling out this TOTAL BULLSHIT ARCHIVE OF THEFT, it has seemingly been taken down. The defense of the creators of this bs archive was that they didn't think it through. But they also said it took them weeks and they wanted people to send them love for it. So. You know. Sure. I too tend to put weeks of effort into something and ask for appreciation without stopping to think about if the people whose work I'm stealing might not appreciate it. No wait... I don't fucking do that.
Fic is a gift. And some people have to go and fucking ruin it. And you know what? Those people are assholes! They are. They're also entitled! And they make people want to stop sharing their fic for free to the public because of fear that this exact shit is going to happen. And I get to be pissed as fuck about this! And that's okay! I am not required to be FUCKING NICE about people stealing the shit I poured hours of work into and already make available FOR FREE.
Now, is it okay to save your fav fics on your harddrive for yourself? Yeah, sure. Would I prefer you reread it so that the hit count goes up by one and I get a nice fuzzy feeling from knowing people still go back to my fics months or years later? Yeah. But it's also okay to keep a folder for yourself. I get it. But can you go post it elsewhere on the internet? Nope. Ao3 literally exists because of legal concerns in fandom and is very clear that authors maintain their own copyright and I have not (and never will) give my permission to post it places where I do not have control of it. Don't like it? I literally don't care. It's just how it is. You get what I give you and not one bit more. If you don't want to read something you aren't entitled to control, I really hope you enjoy writing and reading your own work cause that's the only fucking work you are entitled to control.
This has eaten up a whole day of my life in fucking anger. And I'm sure it is eating up the time and brainspace of the thousand other authors who had their fics stolen. Particuarly those who have been vocal about this since the moment it happened. And it's fucked up. And defending it is fucked up. And telling people they seem too upset about it is also fucked up. And everyone invovled in that shit can fuck off. Seriously. If you think I shouldn't have the right to decide if my work gets posted elsewhere, leave. Stop reading my fic. And everyone else's. We'll be better off without your unappreciative entitlement.
I'm prooooobably going to let this die now as long as that fucking "archive" seems to stay dead too. But don't let me being willing to let it die be seen as me not being pissed as all fuck. I am. And I probably will be for a long time. This fucking sucks. I just want my brainspace not to continue to be taken up my entitled jackasses.
If you want something good to come out od this, go donate to ao3 if you can afford it and leave an comment on a fav fic of yours if you can't.
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We need to talk about “Please continue this fic” comments
First of all, I want to say thank you to everyone who has read my fics, commented, recced, and left kudos. You are all amazing and I am so very grateful.
BUT, we really need to talk about this habit of constantly asking for more content. I mean comments like “you must continue this!” or “you have to write what happens next!” or “how can you stop there?!”
I’m well aware that these comments are often meant as compliments, but, to many writers — me included — they’re not. No matter how well-meaning, they don’t read the same to us writers as they do to the one commenting. While this person is trying to show their excitement, it often come across as greedy, selfish, and insulting to us writers.
For me, this has gotten much worse in the past couple of months. I have been bombarded by comments like these on fics marked as finished (so no, they’re not even WIPs I’m in the process of posting) and even some creative ones saying they almost wished I hadn’t posted at all if I wasn’t going to finish it the way they wanted me to. I’m not referring to a specific person or a particular fandom — it’s everywhere, unfortunately, from many different commenters — and this post is just me trying to sort through my thoughts on the matter.
Here’s what I have to say:
1. It’s not a compliment I will repeat this as many times as I have to. It’s NOT a compliment. Only about 5% of the comments I’ve gotten with this kind of content has managed to pull off making it an actual compliment and that was only because it was a small part of a longer, more in-depth comment. A lot of people would never put that much effort into it, however.
2. I don’t owe my readers anything I write for fun, because I like it. I post my works because I want to share them with you all in hope that someone will enjoy them. I could just as easily not post what I write since posting has become so anxiety-inducing that I dread reading comments. About a third of them are demands I “finish” stories already marked as complete because, apparently, my ending wasn’t good enough. But, despite this, fact remains that I do this for me and I don’t have to cater to anyone else.
3. The comments have the opposite effect When each new fic I post is met with demands to write more, the only thing that will happen is that I will feel less eager to write and post. If I’m constantly being asked for more, even when I have nothing left to give, eventually, the mere thought of writing will start giving me panic attacks. I feel wrung out, not appreciated, and feeling pride in finishing a project is difficult when my readers keep telling me they don’t think I’m finished. In short, the last thing I feel like doing when I get these comments is to write more.
4. The comments are an insult to my writing If I have marked the fic as complete, it’s because I deem it finished. I don’t have anything to add and someone demanding more isn’t likely to change that. When I write, I do so with the plot and pacing in mind and my endings are never impulse decisions. Trust me when I say that the story is finished — drawing it out for the sake of length won’t make anyone happy.
5. I feel taken for granted When a comment says “I need more!” and nothing else, I have no idea what the reader actually thinks of my writing, just that they want more. And that is, despite what some might think, not a compliment. It makes it seem like anything will do, that what I have already given was barely worthy of note and already forgotten, and that I exist only to meet their next fix. It’s like I’m trying to fill a void and it doesn’t matter what I toss in there, as long as it’s something. That’s not very encouraging or motivating.
6. The comments are disrespectful and selfish Even when I politely ask people not to demand more (because of the aforementioned anxiety) far too many ignore me and do so anyway. Despite explaning in my author’s comments that, yes, this story could be expanded but I can’t because of my mental health, I still get comments telling me I should. Because their enjoyment is apparently more important than my mental health? The lack of respect for me and my well-being is baffling and I feel like these people don’t really understand that there’s a person behind all these words and she’s fucking tired of getting panic attacks about this. Panic attacks THEY can prevent.
7. I value my mental health more than popularity/people’s opinion Writers are often told to be grateful for whatever amount of attention they can get, be it comments, kudos, or views. Therefore, we shouldn’t complain about getting the wrong kind of comments unless we want to lose readers. Fuck that, I say — not at the expense of my well-being. I have too much integrity to give a shit about what everyone thinks of me. Because, as stated above, I don’t owe my readers anything in terms of producing content. Naturally, that means they don’t owe me anything in terms of comments, views, or kudos, either, and that’s fine. What they DO owe me, however — what we owe each other — is to be kind and polite with each other, unless there’s a really good reason not to be. Telling me to ignore my panic attacks so that they get more to read is not one of those times.
8. Take responsibility and be a decent human being, please Again, I want to repeat that I know that these comments are intended as compliments. I know some of you have written them without knowing it can hurt authors and I’m not trying to scare you off from commenting. Just know that your words have an impact — probably more so than you know — and think twice before doing it again. The fandom community is a wonderful place and it’s up to us to make it as safe and friendly as possible for content creators and consumers alike. Do your part and I’ll do mine.
Finally, to conclude this very long and ranty post in a properly dramatic fashion:
I am officially on a hiatus from posting.
The only exceptions will be the two Trading Losers fics I still have to finish. Everything else will wait until I feel I can post without risking more panic attacks and anxiety. This is not to punish my readers — you are wonderfully supportive and I love you all — but because I need a break. Writing feels like a chore right now and that’s not how it’s supposed to be. I need some time on my own to figure this out, before the pressure kills my creativity entirely. I’ll still be available online and all that, I just won’t post any fics.
Thank you for all the lovely support. You’re all amazing <3
- Amethystina
#Amethystina Writes#Or not#as it were#This has been brewing for months#And now I'm just tired#I have far too many WIPs#I don't have time to write on fics that are finished#Please stop asking for more
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