#i need to uphold the community and protect those i care about

[nunyabznsbabes]

Katniss is like Lucy Gray this, Katniss is like Sejanus that, and yes fine that's all good and true and lovely but Katniss Everdeen is also a direct parallel to Coriolanus Snow and people NEED to start talking about this because it's driving me crazy.

Think about it: they both grew up poor and deeply vulnerable, losing parents at a very young age, with a matriarchal adult (Katniss' mother and Coriolanus' Grandma'am) who fails to provide for them emotionally and physically. They intimately understand the threat of starvation, even developing with stunted growth because of it, and their narrations in the books share a fixation on food. Throughout their childhoods, both experienced constant fear and suffered a fundamental lack of control over their circumstances. Because of this, they're inherently suspicious of the people around them. They resent feeling indebted to others, especially those who have saved their lives. They're motivated almost entirely by family and deeply connected to their communities. Both are used and manipulated by the Capitol, both are forced to perform to survive and despise every inch of it, both are thrown into the Arena and made to kill. Both have a self-sacrificial, genuinely sweet sister figure acting as their conscience. Peeta and Lucy Gray - performers and love interests with a fundamental kindness and sense of hope about them - fulfill markedly similar roles in their narrative. Both contribute to the development of the future Hunger Games, Snow throughout tbosas and Katniss towards the end of Mockingjay.

It's easy to ignore these similarities because, as mirrors of each other, they are exact opposites. Katniss is from District 12, viewed and treated as less than human; Snow is the cream of the Capitol crop, given the privilege of a name with social weight, an ancestral home, and the opportunity of the Academy despite having no more money than a miner from 12. Katniss has no agency over her life, and responds by being kind whenever she's able, while Snow justifies horrendous evils in order to continue his quest for complete control. Katniss does everything she can to protect her family; Snow does everything he can to protect his family's image as an extension of his own ego. Katniss loves her District and connects with its inhabitants on a meaningful level, but Snow is indifferent at best to his peers - the apparent "superior people" - and only engages with his community for personal gain. Katniss emerges from the Arena horrified at herself and the system, but Snow takes his trauma and turns it into an excuse to perpetuate the violence with himself at the top. Katniss cares for Prim until her death and then snaps at the loss of her little sister, while Snow survives on Tigris' blood, sweat, and tears and then torments and abandons her, presumably because she calls him out on his insanity. Snow actively adds to and popularizes the Hunger Games because of his vendetta against the Districts following his childhood wartime trauma - Katniss briefly agrees to a new Hunger Games in the pursuit of vengeance, but later stops them from happening by killing Coin and choosing a life of peace and privacy. Snow is obsessed with revenge, but Katniss empathizes with the Capitolites and does what she can to keep them from suffering. He exists in a cruel system and selfishly upholds it; she exists in a cruel system and works to dismantle it for the good of her family and community, at great personal cost. And Peeta and Lucy Gray are incredibly similar, but Katniss and Peeta forge a relationship of genuine love and understanding that shines in comparison to Coriolanus' obsessive projection onto Lucy Gray.

So, yeah, Katniss is Lucy Gray haunting Coriolanus. But I bet you anything that eighty-something year old President Snow looks at her, the girl on fire, bright and young and brilliant, emerging from a childhood of starvation with a relentless hunger for success, a talented and charming performer helping her win the Games, and he sees the ghost of his own past. And that's why he's so afraid of her! Because if he sees himself in her, then he's up against his own cunning, his own talent for manipulation, his own charisma, his own genius. He's up against the version of himself that he once wished to be, with the nightmare army of his childhood at her back and her star-crossed lover at her side, spewing Sejanus' truths in his own voice. This isn't to say that Katniss ever achieved the level of power and agency that Coriolanus did during her time with the rebellion, but it is to say that Snow was taken down by what truly terrified him - his own morality, come to finish the job.

[femmefatalevibe]

25 Life Lessons I've Learned In 25 Years

In honor of turning 25 this month, here are some lessons I wish someone could've baked into my brain by 18. Hope this helps xx

Putting yourself first is not selfish, it is an act of self-care. Actively discounting others is not the same as protecting your peace.

Pay attention to who gossips and keeps to themselves amidst an interpersonal conflict. Insecure people or those in the wrong will speak the loudest and go on the longest in a fight to prove their innocence. Individuals who are self-assured and comfortable with the truth know it's better to communicate their feelings appropriately and then move past it. Confidence is assertive, tactful, and relatively silent.

If you want to know who to believe in an argument, pay attention to how both sides speak about the conflict. The perpetrator will often speak about the individuals' character/morality while the victim will explain their personal experience in the context of the relevant situation.

Display empathy and consideration, but don't live to satisfy others' emotional needs and expectations. Say farewell to anyone who dismisses or guilts you for your own needs, emotions, priorities/life goals & aspirations.

Your needs matter. No one needs to approve or validate your desires. If someone feels they have control over you or tries to persuade you to change your mind to ensure you put their emotions and needs first, cut them out of your life. They do not care about you.

Almost no one deserves insider access into your life and mind. Upholding your right to privacy – especially regarding your finances, dating life, health conditions/concerns, and long-term goals – is the simplest way to protect your peace.

A friend to all is a friend to none. Be wary of those who will not stand up for you behind closed doors. These people do not care about you, they care about what your place in their life does for them and their ego.

Be radically honest and accepting of who you are. Don't apologize for your preferences, aspirations, and values. You deserve to live in a way that makes you happy, not to appease others in hopes of their approval or future favors due to your karmic good deeds.

You deserve happiness, love, and nice things, life experiences, relationships, and opportunities in your life regardless of what others may or may not possess/ be able to experience. Dispel this scarcity mindset ASAP. Jealousy and internalized shame are destructive to your self-esteem and all your relationships.

You are worthy and offer many incredible, unique gifts to the world. Don't allow naysayers, critics, or bullies (of any age) to dim your light or sacrifice pursuing your dreams. Decide you're the leader of your own life. Then act accordingly.

Direct communication is always the way. Remain tactful, but at least when dealing with non-manipulative people, always say what you mean and mean what you say. It will save a lot of trouble and petty disagreements that could've been avoided with clearer communication.

You don't owe anyone an explanation for your feelings, emotions, and actions that don't have a direct, inescapable impact on someone else. "No" is a complete sentence.

Approach conversations as a meeting of the minds. Healthy debate or conflict is about seeking to understand the other person, not prove yourself right. Leaving your ego at the door will allow you to expand your mind and avoid many unnecessary conflicts or arguments.

If it's not a hell yes, it's a no. For a job, date, sex, attendance at a time-sucking social event, family gatherings, an informal meeting not essential for you to keep your job, a wedding, birthday party, holiday invitation, etc. Outside of your contracted hours and time necessary to keep yourself/your home clean & well-maintained, you should spend your time exactly as you please. Doing things you don't want to do will only breed resentment down the line toward yourself and others.

Detangle yourself from any who refuses to self-reflect and take accountability. This person is selfish and will never see you as fully human with emotions, needs, and a complete life/internal world of your own. Cut them out (or at least fully emotionally detach and limit contact with them) immediately.

Speak your truth, but always say a little less than you feel necessary. Overexplaning and oversharing do you no favors. At a minimum, this approach allows you to protect your peace. In the worst circumstances, this tactic can also save you from a lot of trouble in your personal or professional life.

Learn to ask for a little more than you're comfortable with, but do so with grace, tact, and confidence. Whether it's a salary/rate negotiation, flight/hotel/restaurant accommodations, get in the habit of making that slightly higher/up-leveled request like you're expecting a "yes." You can't get something you don't ask for, so speak up and show you know your worth. This habit can bring a lot of great opportunity into your life and builds up your confidence.

Everyone is on their own timeline and path. Don't compare yourself to others' credentials, job titles, relationship status, net worths, or jean sizes. Comparison is truly the thief of joy. Remaining envious of others only takes up the energy that could otherwise be used to elevate or enrich your life.

Become clear on your priorities, and remain diligent with your habits & routines. Set SMART goals. Implement healthy habits and rituals into your daily lifestyle. Be consistent with goal-supporting and wellness rituals (generous sleep schedule, healthful eating habits, daily movement/regular exercise, reading, task time-blocking, cleaning, and life/work admin schedule), so they become second nature. Help yourself by creating these default habits to ensure your brain is wired for success whether you're in an easygoing era or a stressful life season.

Stop seeing other people (especially other women) as your competition in your profession/dating life and within your platonic relationships. Use your immediate criticisms as a tool for self-reflection. Actively deconstruct the patriarchy in every aspect of your life. Other women coworkers, dating prospects, and friends are not your rivals nor individuals who should be evaluated based on their assertiveness, sexual history/appeal, relationship status, or desire to perform traditional maternal/domestic roles.

Understanding how to interact with others in a cordial, tactful manner is significantly more important than having everyone like you. Learn how to positively influence people without seeking approval. What other people think of us is none of our business. All we can do is show up as the best version of ourselves, and remain optimistic about a potential connection.

Acceptance, accountability, and consistent discipline are the holy trinity to creating a sustainable change that you can maintain for the long haul. There's no shame in starting from the bottom, but you need to be honest about where you're at, so you can create a realistic game plan/small behavior-changing habits that stack up over time to help you implement the radical change you're craving.

Let go of any internalized shame. Being the "good girl" does you no favors in life. Set a standard and expectation to be respected, not to be perceived as "innocent" or submissive – this is how you get taken advantage of in professional, platonic, and intimate relationships. Remain ravenous for respect. It's the only way to live life to the fullest.

24. Investing in your appearance is a form of self-respect. Wanting to look & feel your best and present yourself in the best light possible to others is not a superficial pursuit. Remain unwavering about your hygiene/beauty/grooming routines, deliberate styling choices, healthy eating & workout habits, and mindfulness of social graces. You're your #1 publicist, so act like it. Life is all about embracing satisfaction with a sprinkle of reputation management.

25. Be unapologetic about your financial ambitions, priorities, investments, savings goals, etc. Financial freedom IS freedom. The only way to change the system is to break it from the inside out. Leverage is everything. Allocate, and assert your (financial) power wisely.

[blackpilljesus]

I find community discourse incredibly annoying. People are often like "Wheres's the community? We need community! People are so individualistic these days". Individualism gets a lot of criticism but nobody ever questions why this happens. While there are some merits to communities, historically communities have mainly benefitted the priviledged. Most communities evolve into divide-and-rule politics where some are seen as more deserving than others (based on things that cannot be controlled). If you're a marginalised person, more often than not you get bs from communities, not love and protection as advertised.

When you're on the short stick side of the divide-and-rule politics in communities, communities are dangerous for you. It will be seen as acceptable to abuse & put you in horrible conditions simply bc of what you are. Those who abuse tend to be in higher positions in communities so when you call them out people wouldn't care or believe you. You'll be punished when you fight back however. When you're marginalised in a community you receive the worst brunts from people and it's seen as okay to be less deserving of support. You wont be supported in community.

People talk about "safety in numbers" but when the community faces trouble, they will have no problem abandoning or sacrificing the marginalised to save themselves at large. Communities have no problem throwing others away or isolating them once it benefits them. Alot of the time people are used & abused in communities so they're fed up with that, fed up of being treated like second class citizens in communities.

Look at the way communties people reminisce about & yearn for actually turned out. "We had community back in the day" yeah the same ones full of predatory uncles that would abuse women & children and get defended, the same communities full of victim blaming & shaming women + girls for being abused, the same communities where some were implicitly told they were more inferior but if they obeyed those higher up in power they can be forgiven. People talk about a lack of a "third place" bc of the rise of secularism so less are going to places of worship but many people leave those communities (even if their faith is still intact) because of corruption & abuse. The judgements & hypocrisy in these places is a lot (one of the reasons I personally left religion & the community too).

Best believe if you can hold your own down, being in a community is more dangerous than being alone bc like i said when things go south your ass will be on the chopping block first. Hell if people just want to abuse, they'll go for the marginalised first & so much abuse is enabled in communities. They'll ostracise & shun you and the threat of that alone keeps many in line to uphold abusive structures in place in communities.

"But humans are natural social creatures that want to be in groups" is something I hear often & that should make you stop and think of how so many people going against this instinct to survive says a lot about how dangerous alot of communities are. It's our nature to socialise, be in groups yet it's chosen to be independent because of the danger groups actually present when you're not seen as a valued member of them.

At this point people would either say "look inwards" or "find better communities out there" but the problem is that status in communities isnt entirely based on the merit of the way you behave. Finding communities where you're accepted & valued IRL tends to be based on things you cant control. It's not like the internet where you put yourself out there & eventually find your community even if they live all over the world. In reality it's another ballgame, people are more closed off & judgemental if you dont fit certain standards so it's more difficult to find places where you'll fit in. Also, as mentioned the determining factors of the way you'll be treated in communities are based on things you cant control, your characteristics will do more speaking and determination for you. So it's not as easy as just "find a better community". Given the way activism is on the internet, many people forget how conservative & hostile the real world actually is. Things like sexism, colorism, racism, ableism, homophobia, lookism etc; play a big role in most communities irl which is why many people seek alt communities online even though those come with issues of their own but to not stray away from the point this is why many people arent fucking with -irl- community shit anymore.

This discource pisses me off because when you constantly receive crap from communities people blame you for it but when you leave you get badgered for not having or being part of community. Communities benefit the priviledged as they uplift those on top, they get to take more from communities & enrich themselves while those at the bottom get fucked over and it's no wonder so many people get fed up and decide to put things into their own hands than risk being in/trusting communities that wont hesitate to risk or end your life over bs. I know that not all communities out there will be horrible but as mentioned finding communities IRL where you'll be accepted as a marginalised person is difficult. Finding equitable communities where everyone is held accountable for their actions, where people genuienly help each other to get by & survive over divide-and-rule politics is difficult.

People complaining about lack of community but wont address the rampant abuse that happens in them tells me they dont care about community spirit as they claim they just want pools of people to exploit and are disguising it under communal spirit & protection. I dont fw communities & sometimes people will tell me i cant do everything alone, no man is an island -good thing i'm a woman then lol- but fr the people this crap comes from are the type of people that make communities suck & i wouldn't want to be in a community with them anyways bc they're horrible & would just exploit. Individualism is on the rise because so many of us marginalised people who grew up in communities realise we're better off alone & idc what anyone says if they feel they're better off within communitities then bet but a lot of the time others are better off alone. And icl one positive of capitalism is that it gives you a chance to rely on communities less & have a more independent lifestyle. Yes there's still a level of people/community engagement but we're not as tightly bound to a community like a small tribe in a village bc tbh i'd probably be dead by now if i had to live & rely on others that way.

Instead of just criticising individualism & guilt tripping people to join communities, if people actually care do inflection about your "communities". Except this wont happen bc this isnt about community spirit but looking for others to exploit which is why it's being aggresively pushed.

[doggirlbuffysummers]

On Charles Gunn and Community

A large part of why I want to write this meta is that I don’t really see many people talking about Gunn. This is not all my thoughts on Gunn, I am going to write more over time. I have stated before that I personally feel that Gunn is in fact a much more complicated character than many here give him credit for.

I posit that the reason for this lack of credit was a larger trend of people in the fandom accepting the narratives presented by white characters regarding the people of color in the show (this is probably more discussed about at this point regarding Spike and Nikki and Robin Wood). While this essay is not entirely about the racism present in the corpus of Angel the Series, it exists in dialogue with more in depth takes on the racism present in Ats.

Gunn is in many respects unique in the buffyverse. There are no other people of color who achieve the status of main cast member, and certainly not for four consecutive seasons. The lack of discussion regarding him is a huge indignity to his character.

Much more care is taken to fleshing out Gunn in season two than in other seasons. In season two Gunn has a life outside of Angel Investigations. He has roots in the city, a community that he has spent his life dedicated to protecting. In season three, after the events of “That Old Gang of Mine” (3x03), this critical aspect of his character is gone.

It would be inaccurate to say that this happens suddenly, but the way it is handled is different in season three. During most of season two, Gunn exists in two worlds, never fully belonging to either. Both the early stages of the Pylea arc and especially “That Old Gang of Mine” throw into sharp focus that the story the writers want to tell with him is that he cannot live in this state of dual existence. “That Old Gang of Mine” depicts the members of Gunn’s old community as violent and unenlightened, with Gunn being pulled in two highly racialized directions: “black” wanton violence, and “white” enlightened application of reason regarding the use of violence. The way the episode portrays people of color is just downright awful, and Ats’s larger portrayal of race actively upholds existing, current stereotypes surrounding people of color.

I would say that Gunn is someone who cares highly about community. Episodes like 1x20 “War Zone,” 2x03 “First Impressions,” and 2x14 “The Thin Dead Line” contrast Gunn heavily with the other three members of AI. Gunn doesn’t fight for some greater ideal like others, but because it helps protect the people around him, as highlighted by @titsgirlbuffy and @punksouthie here:

Gunn’s decisions in “That Old Gang of Mine” are heavily informed by the idea posed by writers that AI and his old community are ideologically opposed. He is forced to choose between the two. The reason he comes to the decision that he does is largely decided by the dynamics at play in the situation. It is only once he is put in a situation where those who he has bonded with are at risk – the showdown in Caritas – that Gunn fully reflects and decides to turn against those in his old community. Gunn recontextualizes the scenario as being about an “out of town” person stirring up trouble within his community only once Angel and Lorne are put at risk. While he says in this gifset that it is about the mission, he does not necessarily argue against demons as an “other” to humans but more argues in defense of Angel *specifically*:

Anne reflecting the existentialist themes of the show back at Gunn in “Never Fade Away” recontextualizes everything. It parallels Doyle’s conversation with Angel in “City of” around the need to not be cut off. In these short two lines of dialogue, so much is said.

This post contains a similar parallel:

In the larger context of the show, we can see that Gunn starts off a paragon of Doyle’s explicitly stated message of what the show is about. He is incredibly entrenched in his local community. He knows the people he interacts with in “First Impressions” and “The Thin Dead Line.” He fights not for an ideal but for others. Over time, as he interacts with AI, he gets increasingly cut off from those that he is helping, moving further and further away from the actual mission of AI.

In his first appearance Gunn recognizes this, actually:

The conversation with Anne is not just about AI having lost its way but also about Gunn losing Everything. The people he has spent years trying to fit in with look at him and see the reason Fred is dead. He has no one and has so thoroughly internalized the values of his white co-workers that when he goes back to help Anne, he is separated from his old community by a vast ideological language barrier.

Brief aside that I might go into in more depth in a later post but I would like you to think about Fred’s death with regard to Gunn’s words here. A missed opportunity with Gunn’s character is exploring how he is impacted by hypervigilance and his tendency for blaming himself for events out of his control:

One interesting direction a rewrite (from a writer’s room with black writers in it) could go is having Gunn become the leader post 2x11 “Redefinition,” leading to closer interaction with the people of LA. AI becomes a much more high-profile member of the community and there is more focus on how Wolfram and Hart enables material harm in high poverty areas. I will talk about this more in the future because I think it is an interesting road to go down.

This post barely scratches the surface of my thoughts on Gunn. I haven’t even explained the take on valuing community fully. I think to fully present my take on that I need to write up at least another full post on it. There is also so much more to write about other things, like more alternate roles Gunn could have filled in AI as I talk about here:

[coochiequeens]

Good news..... doctors can campaign for the discussion of science!

The Royal College of General Practitioners (RCGP) has been forced into an about-turn after cancelling a conference on sex and gender.

LGBTQ+ campaigners approached the college to express their concern that it was allowing the Clinical Advisory Network on Sex and Gender (CAN-SG), a group of psychiatrists and doctors who campaign for science-based dialogue on gender issues, to use its conference space.

The event, titled First Do No Harm, aims to explore “current controversies in the care of children and young people with gender-related distress”.

Aware of a situation’

After being contacted by the campaigners, including the Association of LGBTQ+ Doctors & Dentists and Pride RCGP, the college said last week that it was “aware of a situation regarding an upcoming event”.

The college’s events management team, Searcys, later wrote to CAN-SG to inform it that its event had been cancelled. Searcys proposed two alternative venues but said it wasn’t sure “if any of those two medical institutions would hold similar views to the RCGP as far as your event is concerned”.

Dr Louise Irvine, the co-chairman of CAN-SG, said: “I asked why the event was cancelled and the manager said he did not know. He just said that senior people in RCGP had been discussing it all day and then instructed him to contact me to cancel.

“I found out later that on that Friday, there was a well-orchestrated campaign by activists to send numerous emails to RCGP full of false allegations about our conference.”

Baroness Hayter, a Labour peer, subsequently wrote to the college to warn it that gender-critical beliefs were protected under the Equality Act 2010.

She told The Telegraph: “I’m shocked and disappointed that a medical body – indeed a Royal College – which should promote evidence-based treatment tried to close down debate on an important clinical issue. This is not in patients’ interests. Open, academic discussion is essential if all patients and their carers are to be guaranteed best treatment by their GPs.

“The RCGP needs to explain why it sought to silence certain senior medical practitioners and thus deny their own members the opportunity of hearing current findings on this subject.”

Prof Mike Holmes, the chairman of the trustees for the RCGP, said: “Our initial concern… was that it was being marketed and publicised in a way that could give the impression the college was hosting, sponsoring or supporting the conference and having an active role in the content and programme.”

‘Decided to honour the booking’

The college said that after CAN-GS agreed to remove the college’s name from promotional material, it “decided to honour the booking”.

A spokesman for CAN-SG said: “We are delighted that our conference will go ahead at 30 Euston Square, and we are looking forward to a great event with excellent speakers. All CAN-SG members are clinical professionals who uphold professional standards to provide safe and effective care to all our patients, including our LGBTQ+ patients, to promote long-term well-being.”

A spokesman for the Association of LGBTQ+ Doctors & Dentists said: “The existence and rights of gender-diverse people are not up for debate and the community currently does not feel safe as the result of actions of groups like CAN-SG. This is not about wokery but about decency.”

[wcamino-confessions]

I'm popping in to just give my 2 cents to the whole of lt

As a nearly 7 year old member of WA I'm currently 19 I'm gonna say the lt are people, human people with lives that decided to uphold the community they care about and try to strive for the highest standards they can achieve as a team. HOWEVER, in the last 4 years the very concerning red flag I've seen pop up time and time agajn is the fact members of the lt have been under aged and by that I mean by that is 16-18 years olds having to be the one to eb the community outlash in ufc and other areas the lt have open for communication. I'm sorry but I can not fathom why this is continuing because WA has a history of leaders who were under 18 joining into the lt and yet it feels like it's ignored. 16 to 18 yos do not have the mental capabilities to be responsible for a group of how many people, I'm not saying any current or former members of the lt are stupid they are capable of great things and all have contributed to the community in different ways but where was the standard created that it was okay to put such a insurmountable amount of responsible of teenagers who still are learning the skills to understand their actions in full. If you say " well these younger members are signing up on their own accord" yes yes they are but it is influenced by the fact for the last 4 years the team has had both minors and adults in collaboration of leadership. Where this started is unclear to me but I know as early as 2018 at the earliest there was members 16 or 17 during the time of their leadership.

Where I'm trying to get at here is the fact it's an unhealthy dynamic for both minors and adults and the community as a whole, obviously the minors; it's mind altering to try and be in charge of things like UFC and community feedback. I say its also unfair to a part for the adult lt as most having to insure the safety and well-being of their younger co members while also juggling the bigger things they face from the community. And it's unfair to the community to continue to set the standards of thinking this is an healthy working relationship when it is not. Elders from years ago now will absolutely remember Helpclan and the absolute damage it caused for the members involved in running it and those who turned to them for help. And what was the circumstances of this clan; Adults and Minors being in charge of the well-being of an ever growing community with a wide range of problems and no real rule set in place to protect both parties. This isn't okay, there's a problem here that needs to be addressed as a whole process and review of the state of things. I want to clarify again though, at this point the lt who helped create this normalization of circumstances is no longer in place, it has been years since and with the current lt I want to believe that they can set the right course of responsibility and mutual interest for the community and each other. The lt is a complex working of years of changes and rules and procedures but it can still change, there is no need to continue feeding into what past WA was doing; there needs to be a change somewhere for the well-being of everyone who is on WA and it can happen with the respectful feedback of community members who aren't just screaming lazy or bias, it's so much more then that ofc but by creating open sources of conversations like ufc and other gateways; WA can be a great place for everyone. I avoid saying it can be great again because looking back it is great I won't lie but it was also setting up harmful standards and normalcy to not okay situations that the newer generation of WA members and lt are having to deal with to this day

Stay safe yall, happy holidays and be respectful to each other 💖

.

[chaosprince-apollo]

So I finished watching Alchemy of souls and was going through the tags and saw some takes that I personally feel are wrong (and that's okay we all perceive and interpret things differently and the point is to have fun I'm sure some people will very much disagree with what I say)

I saw the idea that Seo Yul only loved the memory/idea of Naksu and not who she is in the show. I don't think that's true, I think he has deeply and unwaveringly loved every version of her, is it necessarily romantic or sexual love? I think that is open to interpretation but I do think he irrevocably loves her and honestly... I think he loves Jang Uk as well I feel more than anything the two of them are his most cherished people and the three of them (in all iterations and all combinations) cause each other a lot of pain... largely due to lack of communication and lack of knowing what the flippity flop is going on sometimes.

Which kind of brings me to another point where someone called Yul (and Master Lee) Moral Absolutionists and look I get it I totally get why and arguably it's true but also like uh... Seo Yul is conflicted on numerous occasions between what he has being taught to be right and just and protecting those he cares about to the point of extreme and frankly suicidal levels of guilt. Yes he thinks he needs to get rid of Naksu and is prepared in the moment to do it based on the events he thinks his choices led to but I also truly believe if they had gone together that day he wouldn't have done it. I think just because he cares about upholding the laws he believes in doesn't mean he doesn't waiver. Someone said Jang Uk would burn the world down for love and Seo Yul would let love burn for the world but I think actually

Jang Uk would burn the world down for love and Seo Yul would absolutely let him and then he'd set himself on fucking fire.

Side note I also think Jang Uk and Naksu/Jin Bu yeon/Cho Yeong love Yul as well for the record in their own ways like they really are so intrinsically connected and interesting. All of them have such well written and multidimensional characters.

[dontmeantobepoliticalbut]

As Gov. Greg Abbott tells state agencies that using diversity, equity and inclusion criteria in the hiring process is “illegal,” lawmakers in the legislature are pushing against the practice in Texas universities. State representative Carl Tepper, R-Lubbock, filed a bill to prohibit higher education institutions from funding or supporting diversity, equity and inclusion offices. HB 1006 also prohibits any efforts to formulate diversity “beyond what is necessary to uphold the equal protection of the laws under the Fourteenth Amendment.” “We call it division, inequity and indoctrination. The DEI office name is a misnomer,” Tepper said. “We feel like it’s purposely being misused, to push a very woke very liberal agenda. You can have any belief you want, you can have any care about race relations or sexual relations or what have you. But we think that on the state dollar, and the state budget, that these universities, these state departments, departments of the state of Texas, should be neutral.”

Tepper’s alma mater Texas Tech University, now in his district, said its Division of Diversity, Equity and Inclusion works “to foster, affirm, celebrate, engage and strengthen inclusive communities.” They provide mentors to first-generation students, cultural centers for minority students and outlets for the campus to engage with the intercultural community.

Tepper said he hopes his bill will get rid of those outlets. He called Texas Tech’s Black Cultural Center “self-segregation.”

“I would do away with that. We have some wonderful facilities for everyone,” he said. “We want our students to learn together and play together, interact together, not as a segregated society. We want to see distinguished Black alumni, the portraits of distinguished Black alumni all over campus, not just in the Black Cultural Center.”

Some attorneys worry the recent restrictions of DEI policies are misguided. Jay Ellwanger, an attorney who specializes in employment and civil rights litigation at Ellwanger Law, said DEI policies are already prohibited from discrimination by federal law and may attract businesses wanting to create a diverse and competitive workforce. “The thing that struck me most in Governor Abbott’s memorandum to the state agencies was that I think he needed to go back to law school,” Ellwanger said. “Because the issues that were raised by this memorandum are impacted by areas of federal law that have been in place for almost 60 years.” The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission recommends DEI initiatives as a best practice.

“EEOC makes it make extremely clear that you can’t have quotas, that you can’t purposely put a minority ahead of a nonminority in a DEI context if they’re not qualified,” Ellwanger said. “All the federal law says is that you can allow for other parts of someone’s makeup to go into that hiring equation, which again, allows for a company or state agency to hire more competitively, to get more viewpoints in the workplace, and just overall become more competitive.”

Rep. Tepper’s concerns are already shifting policy, however. Texas Tech University announced Wednesday they are eliminating DEI criteria. That decision comes after a Wall Street Journal report criticized the weight that some departments give to subjective diversity statements required in candidates’ applications.

[metalheadsforblacklivesmatter]

Republicans trafficking and kidnapping legal asylum seekers to Martha's Vineyard explained.

I haven't made a post about it due to mental health, but since midterms are coming up, I guess I should.

Martha's Vineyard describes itself as a sanctuary city which essentially means they won't deport immigrants that go there.

Texas Governor (R) Abbot and Florida Governor (R) DeSantis was like "These dumb liberals talking about being pro immigration. We're gonna dump a bunch of immigrants on their doorstep and show them for the hypocrites they are!"

So they drove by the border, picked up 50 legal asylum seekers saying, "We're gonna bring you to a great place. They got hosting for you. Jobs. Food. Everything you need for your new life here. Here are some papers that have your new address written on them as well as appointments that you need to make to move forward with your immigration process. Don't lose these papers, if you miss that appointment you'll lose your immigration status."

Except those addresses were fake. That paperwork was forged. The only thing accurate about all of that paperwork was the appointment information that they needed to meet to continue their immigration process, and these meeting locations were all over the US.

And you can guess by the title of this post that these people weren't brought to the places they were told they'd be going to. They were brought to Martha's Vineyard which is a small island off Massachusetts.

Telling someone you'll bring them somewhere then bringing them somewhere else is kidnapping. Doing it to 50 people is trafficking. These two republican governors orchestrated kidnapping and trafficking 50 legal immigrants.

And obviously they didn't tell the people of Martha's Vineyard that they were bringing 50 immigrants out. After all, the goal was to get the people of Martha's Vineyard to say "we don't have the resources to take care of you" and kick them out.

Except the people didn't do that. They came together as a community. They set up makeshift beds in the hall of a church. They pulled AP Spanish kids out of school to help communicate with these immigrants.

And for some reason Republicans are lying and saying Martha's Vineyard kicked them out and didn't give them aid. Remember what I said about these immigrants having appointments for their immigration process? Yeah, some of those were as early as the following Monday. So the people at Martha's Vineyard had to get people the fuck out. Not because they couldn't take care of them, but because these imitations had important appointments that they had to make, and their immigration status was on the line. So not only was this a ploy to make liberals that say they'd take in immigrants look bad, but this was a ploy to get immigrants to lose their immigration status by putting them in an impossible situation with fraudulent paperwork unable to make an appointment that has their immigration on the line.

And I don't think it was done by accident. I think they scheduled these appointments so soon just in case the people of Martha's Vineyard actually did come together and uphold their word to take care of immigrants. They set up a situation where the people of Martha's Vineyard had to send these immigrants back out (to protect their immigration status) so that they could twist it as "see, they're getting rid if them too".

So yeah...

-fae

[dipperdesperado]

Hogwarts Legacy and the Limits of Liberal Allyship

Seeing the conversation around Hogwarts Legacy has confirmed my belief that the bandwidth of conventional American politics is so small, and can't encompass literally any action that challenges the status quo.

For those who don't know, Hogwarts Legacy (HL) is an upcoming AAA Western RPG where you play as a created character in the Harry Potter universe. It's gotten a lot of flak due to its ties to JK Rowling (JKR). She still gets money from anything in the Harry Potter IP due to her contract negotiations. The issue with JKR is that she doesn't believe that trans women are women. Due to this, a lot of folks, especially those in trans communities are asking people not to play the game.

The issue comes in when people are not only going to play the game but are loudly playing it. People revel in the fact that there are those who "are mad" that they're playing a game.

But, it's so much more than that. Just because people have such a strong affinity for Harry Potter, they feel like they can't help but play the game. While I've never really engaged with the IP, from what I do know, that shit did not age well in most regards.

The simple fact is, if someone from a community is like, "hey, can you not do this thing that enables people to harm me and people in my community"? Our answer should be yes. There should be no argument. Why is this an issue?

It's an issue because of the prevailing politics of the day. As I mentioned before, this is American-centric, but neoliberalism is worldwide, baby. It affects all of us.

In the liberal conventional thought around social issues, supporting marginalized movements and ideologies is only acceptable within a certain range of actions and contexts. It all ends up being performative, due to a very shallow, mostly aesthetic analysis.

Like, anything that makes them uncomfortable is too far, and any dissent from the community is asking too much.

While liberals see themselves as being more progressive than conservatives, it seems that the extent of their allyship is the yearly rainbow flag logo shit. Both groups inherently uphold the structures that exist (which cause the need for there to be such strong allyship in the first place.)

To bring it back to HL, if people want to play the game, I don't agree with it but like, I'm not gonna smack you over the head. It just proves the point to a great degree when they feel the need to not only buy it (instead of 🏴‍☠️), but to tell these folks that you're going to. They're upset because people don't seem to care about their issues, especially when a lot of LITERALLY genocidal things are happening to trans folks.

The whole thing just feels very scary. How many times do we have to go through historic moments before people start to see the patterns? I really hope that people start understanding that allies don't mean shit. Folks need accomplices.

If you want to know how to help, find those communities in your locality and get involved. Send them some bands, like the amount that you would've spent on the game if you were to buy it. Show up, in real solidarity. We have to protect each other. This kind of shit does not end well for marginalized people in general (bigotry will always try to envelop more and more people). Stay safe, and stand with your community. Here's a link to learn more.

[mascotvt]

Things I couldn't put on twitter cause it's too long

Rhela is my Warrior of Light, a Keeper of the Moon/Seeker of the Sun hybrid who lost her family, who lost most of her friends when she was young. Yes, yes, I know, cliche tragic backstory. It doesn't matter much, I mean, it does, the backstory is way worse than what I'm writing here. She wasn't trusting of men for a long period of her life, she'd bite and claw anyone who touched her.

Which makes the fact that her best friend right now, is a Seeker male, a pirate and Maelstom officer, something to behold. N'iko Kyndtachsyn is her best friend. He's been with her through thick and thin. Or tried to be. For long stretches of her life, he's been out to sea, but he's always been one to tell stories and she always listened, no matter how crazy they sounded. He's afraid of women, specifically miqo'te women, but she doesn't seem to trigger that fear... If it wasn't for their past lives and how they feel about the opposite gender, they might've gotten together, but that never happened.

Now, Rhela herself, when she's handling the Warrior of Light duties, she's not... The Warrior of Light of legend. No, that's another woman. Rhela is just backup. She doesn't speak. She pulls out a journal, scribbles out words and pictures to communicate with those she's close to. She doesn't show her face, hells, the Warrior of Light doesn't either. But the Warrior of Light doesn't forge the connections that Rhela forms. The Warrior is too focused on combat, too focused on upholding the image, doesn't want to disappoint anyone. So they, despite being more talkative, doesn't try to become friends with any of the scions. They fight, they fight, they fight... and every time, they win. Almost every time.

Rhela watches it all, she fights alongside the Warrior. She forges connections with the Scions via her drawings and writings. She communicates with the twins the most. She tried to train herself before learning from Haurchefant. She doesn't speak a word... Let's her actions and her drawings speak for her. Tell her stories. She holds each Scion, each person she meets out in Eorzea to a high place in her heart. If someone betrays her, she falls apart, she's sensitive and vulnerable. She doesn't know what to do half the time she's fighting but she's here, she's doing what she can, she loves the world and it's people so much. She fights to protect them. She almost breaks down every time someone dies. Carrying bodies from the Waking Sands out to Drybone hurt. She could barely do it.

Those were people she cared about...

When Rava and Rhela made it to Garlemald, Rava took off her mask in Tertium. "This is the face of the Warrior of Light..." She said that... And Rhela learned she shared her face. Rava got punched for that by the garlean she was speaking too. Rhela was the one to tell the Twins to stand down, to not worry... That everything would be fine. She was crying behind her mask. Rava... Was stone cold. Like a Soldier. Like a Gladiator of the Blood Sands.

Rava is the Warrior of Light, Rhela's twin sister, woman raised as a Seeker as she shared those traits. Her father died by her brother's hand but that was not something she knew. Rava left the tribe before that. She wanted to explore the world, become strong. Become SOMETHING more than just a Seeker. So she aspired to higher and higher feats, she took on Primals. When she found her twin at the Waking Sands, she said nothing. She knew who it was and said nothing to Rhela. It was just another day for her. And she felt... Her sister didn't need to know that Rava was her twin. Would have opened them up for more angles of attacks against one another. A vulnerability that is family. Rava didn't want to be close to people, actively pushed them away. They helped her, yes, but she didn't want them being used against her, like they'd be used against Rhela later on.

[energyanon]

*hugs* I'm glad you are sticking around. (Both here and everywhere.) Great to hear you have deep diving into astrology!! It's such a great tool :) What draw you deeper into it?

Me too, that damn brain of mine likes to be a vengeful bitch sometimes but I have given her the happy chemical, so she may rest now.

It’s actually a long story;

TLDR; basically I had a dream that set me off all things spiritual and finding a purpose in life

But the story is; while I was still in the deep deep stages of depression where nothing was worth it and I had 0 connection or belief in the universe, I had a dream. And this dream was that I was 50/60 frolicking about with a bunch of other older women in the country side and we were just a little community. We did all the things we wanted to do, we played, we nurtured the child parts of ourselves, we made dinners for each other. And the thing was there wasn’t a man involved in this, I wasn’t married or anything I was just enjoying sisterhood with a bunch of other women. And it was fucking freeing. Because we were only with each other there was no need to uphold beauty standards or be anything more than what we were or to act in certain ways we just enjoyed life and let the sun age us etc. and I woke up and I was like

Holy fuck. My whole life I’ve been feeling desperately unloved because I had that stupid little voice in my head that told me if I don’t have a relationship then I’m less than. And broken family etc didn’t help that feeling. So I’ve always searched for being “loved” elsewhere and in order to do that I’m a people pleaser and I have to live life in a certain way. But this dream was like.. actually no you don’t.. you can literally just BE there’s actually 0 rules in this world and if you aren’t harming anyone or harming yourself then nothing is that serious.

So then through that came this like.. intense spiritual freedom I guess where nothing was that bad, like all cares about what other people thought aswell just 🤷‍♀️ none of it matters. And I realised that I don’t want a life that needs to be successful what I actually want is simple, it’s just community.

And so I would say it was one hell of a spiritual awakening. And then I was watching a tiktok and it just so happened to be about Ariana grandes new BF and how his something or other is in her 5th house and I was like holy fuck is that how you read astrology, so I started to research it knowing now where to start, and like beyond personal planets and houses are the ASPECTS, and my god do the aspects make all the difference and then how the whole birth chart and those aspects play out with one another and then singleton planets and then asteroids which can show you your greatest trauma and it was all like holy shit tits we’re all connected.

And so that’s how it happened. And now it’s wild j went from 0 faith in the universe all together to seriously feeling like I’ve been placed on such a specific path and I can see how everything up until now has been apart of that path and I’ve always been protected and guided no matter how shit it was at the time

I’m currently desperately trying to find anything I can about Yods and it’s driving me insane I can’t find anything on how to properly read it in relation to all the planets aspecting each other.

anyway if anyone knows anything about Yods let me know cause I have two of those fuckers in my charts and I’m not sure how to read them

[crystal-in-nagasaki]

hello, i'm gay: kyushu pride and existing in japan as a queer person

Hi there. This might be the first time some of you hear this, but I'm a lesbian. I first realized I liked girls in high school, and then realized I didn't like boys in college. It was quite a journey, but I finally feel right. But anyway, since this is a blog about Japan, the reason I'm mentioning my queerness is because I want to share a bit about LGBT culture in Japan from my experience, and maybe a bit about how I navigated dating and met my partner here.

*As a note to those not in the community: the label "queer" used to be a bigoted slur against LGBT people, but now is used by LGBT as an umbrella term, because the acronym LGBTQIA+ is getting long and saying queer to refer to all of it is just easier. So when I refer to myself and others as "queer," I just mean I'm a member of the LGBT community, and there's no negative connotation attached.

Although Japan is a first-world country with many of the same conveniences of modern life as the US, their culture surrounding LGBT issues is lacking to say the least. LGBT people in Japan definitely exist and have carved out their own spaces in Japan's larger cities, but gay men and lesbians do not have the federal legal right to marry, and there are not many protections in place for LGBT people to have medical care and be safe from discrimination in the workplace, housing, etc. Because of the lack of severe religious affiliation like in the US and other countries, average Japanese people overall aren't hostile to LGBT people, but just don't really acknowledge them or know what to do with them.

As a collectivist society, Japanese people are expected to "fit in," meaning queer people often stay closeted and don't come out to people outside their inner social circles, or sometimes even at all. And with traditional family structures still at the forefront of Japanese society, many people are often pressured by their family to be in a heterosexual marriage and have children. The laws and society uphold a heterosexual lifestyle, so it's difficult for queer people to live an open and happy life.

I only went on one date with a Japanese woman during my time in Japan, whom I met on a Japanese lesbian dating app. Japanese people on any dating apps, not just LGBT ones, are generally more private and won't post pictures of their face, so you often need to meet them in person to really get to know them. I think Japanese LGBT people are open to dating foreigners, but the language and culture barrier can get in the way, so I didn't have a lot of luck meeting many Japanese women.

The one woman I went on a date with had studied abroad and had very good English, so I think that's why we made it to a first date. We only had one date, which was pleasant, but I don't think we had much in common. I was also surprised when the conversation on our date turned to politics, and my date told me that she wasn't interested in politics or voting at all. Many young people in the US are politically active, especially those in minority groups like LGBT people, so I was surprised that she was apathetic to politics in a country where she was denied certain basic rights based on her identity. But politics in Japan are even more of a rigged nepotistic mess than the US, so I guess many young Japanese people don't feel confident in their ability to effect any kind of meaningful change on legislation.

I also learned from my date that she wasn't out to her family yet, and her family was pressuring her to find a husband and start a family. Since Japan is still pretty traditional as far as nuclear family values, I really felt for her and the struggle she must have been dealing with to be with someone she loves but also live up to her family's traditional expectations. We never met again after this date, but sometimes I still wonder about her and whether she's been able to live a happy and open life.

Well, that was a little sad, so let's change gears and talk about Pride. The biggest Pride event of the year in Japan is Tokyo Pride, which usually happens in April. I've never attended Tokyo Pride, but I've attended Fukuoka Pride for the past two years, and it was really fun. As far as I can tell, Fukuoka Pride is definitely the largest and most publicized, if not the only, LGBT event in all of Kyushu. Many people come from not only all over Kyushu, but from all over Japan to attend.

The first year I attended Pride (2022), I went with a group of other foreigners. We visited a small lesbian bar the night before and found it packed with many LGBT women, non-binary people, and transgender men. Another interesting thing I learned about Japanese LGBT culture is that many lesbian spaces also include trans men. I think the idea is to create a space for AFAB (assigned female at birth) people who are attracted to each other, which is common. I do wonder if it creates a problem in which cis lesbians may consider trans men to just be butch women instead of real men, but since I don't have much experience in these spaces, I don't want to spread around uninformed opinions. It seems like transgender women are also allowed into lesbian spaces, but sometimes only if they "pass," which can also potentially be problematic. My partner, who is transgender, was denied from joining a lesbian event because she was told she didn't pass well enough. Of course, this kind of discrimination within the LGBT community exists in the US too and is not particular to just Japan.

Anyway, I got to meet various people at the lesbian bar that night, including one that lived in Tokyo and offered to show me around Tokyo's gay district, Shinjuku Ni-Chome next time I was in town. Just recently, I was finally able to get to Tokyo and take her up on her offer, which I'll share about later in this post.

We also celebrated Pride weekend by visiting Anmitsu-hime, the city's famous drag show. Many drag shows in the US that I've been to are in bars or restaurants, but this drag show is solely a production on a stage in front of a seated audience. The performers wear elaborate costumes which they change throughout the show. They perform comedy skits as well as lip-sync, and they sometimes actually sing too. Before the show starts, they do a bit of crowd work asking where people are from and about their jobs, hobbies, etc. and at some point in the show, they pull an audience member on stage to be a part of a comedy skit. It's incredibly funny, well-designed, and entertaining. They change their shows several times throughout the year, so you can keep going back for new skits and musical performances. I highly recommend it to any Fukuoka travelers!

Pride itself was much the same both of the years I went. There were various stalls set up in a large park. Some stalls had information like healthcare clinics and LGBT resources. Other stalls were general LGBT corporate pandering where big companies show their support and give out free pens and flags with their logos on them. And there were also stalls selling merchandise, like pride-themed goods, accessories, and sex toys.

At my second year of Pride, they also had many stalls from international LGBT organizations like Taiwan and Thailand. Thailand's stand had several Thai transgender women, called "ladyboys" by LGBT Thai people, who came to share Thai LGBT culture. Thailand is one of the more progressive LGBT countries in Asia, so it was nice to see, and the Thai women were really beautiful.

They also had a stage where performances were held throughout the day and emceed by local drag queens. They invited many LGBT music artists to perform, as well as dance groups, drag queens, choirs, and even a cheerleading group. Not all of the performers were part of the LGBT community, but performed songs about LGBT stories and themes of acceptance, which I think was important for allies attending the event to see. Since the event was also free and held in a public park, I think it's possible many random people got curious and wandered in, and hopefully became a little more aware of and empathetic to LGBT people.

Some other features of Pride included a board with letters from various local and international government offices and embassies pledging their dedication to uplifting and protecting LGBT people, which meant a lot to see. People could then write sticky notes and stick them on the letters saying thank you or giving comments to their representatives.

Another feature was a large message board that people could sign with their thoughts about anything related to being or supporting LGBT people. Many people shared stories, expressed gratitude, or gave words of support. My first year I wrote that I was thankful for my friends' and family's support, and the second year when I came with my partner, I wrote that I was happy I could proudly hold my girlfriend's hand in public. My girlfriend wrote that she's happy to finally live as her authentic self and she's grateful to find someone that loves her for who she is <3

At work, I have tried for the last three years to increase LGBT visibility by including Pride sections on the English board in my junior high school every June for Pride month. The first year I displayed a map which showed which countries had legalized gay marriage (and that Japan was not one of them.) I also showed them that there is an openly gay congressperson in the Japanese National Diet. The next year I tried to break down some LGBT identities to students and encouraged them to not make assumptions about people being straight. I also recommended one of my favorite manga, Shimanami Tasogare, which explores LGBT issues in a sympathetic and easy to understand way.

Finally, this year I put up a very brief section about LGBT history, stating that many ancient cultures were accepting of same sex relationships and had gender identities outside of the binary. I also decided to come out to them publicly, which I hadn't really done before. I was really scared to put this up on the board, but I'm really proud of myself for doing it, and hope I can set an example for my closeted students to be brave.

I want so badly to be a good example for my students. If they don't know any LGBT people in real life, I want to be that person for them, and also be visible for any closeted students to know that they're not alone. But it's very scary to open yourself up to others' scrutiny. I wasn't out to anyone at any of my schools before this year. I decided this year to make it my goal to come out to my students before I leave, if not for me then for them. Only in the last month or two, I've started telling my junior high school students that I have a girlfriend. I'm trying to be brave and give them the exposure that they need to see people different (or alike) to them, which I needed as a kid too.

Next let's change gears and talk about Tokyo's gay district, Shinjuku Ni-chome. Finally after living in Japan for over two years, I was able to visit in March of this year. I met up with the friend I had met at the lesbian bar in Fukuoka, whose name is Lenna. She was raised partially in Japan and partially in Australia, so she can speak English and Japanese fluently. She has a Japanese partner that she's been with for many years, and they have a dog together in Tokyo.

Lenna showed me around the district and brought me to a couple of bars to chat with some queer people living in Tokyo. Before heading to Ni-Chome, we went to an American-themed cafe in Jiyugaoka owned by a queer woman. The food was delicious and the owner was so sweet. I ordered an "LGBT," a BLT with guacamole, but told her to hold the G, both because I don't like men and because I get sick when I eat avocados, hahaha. So basically it was just a normal BLT with a funny gay implication. But anyway, it was so nice to be in a familiar environment with people like me, eating delicious American food.

Next we finally headed to Shinjuku Ni-chome. The first thing I noticed about Ni-chome that surprised and delighted me was just how open everything was. In Fukuoka and even Sasebo, LGBT bars are not openly advertised, and you have to do some digging or know the right people to be able to find them. But in Ni-chome, there were signs with rainbows and buff half-naked men on them, queer people in makeup and extravagant outfits in the street, couples holding hands, signs for HIV testing, adult sex and video stores, and even a big rainbow torii gate outside one bar. It was quite a shock to see a place like that in Japan, and it made me really happy and hopeful for the future of Japan's LGBT community.

Lenna told me that Ni-chome has 200-300 bars, most of them just very small rooms that consist of only bar seating. She took me to two bars, both of which were fairly small. The first one was a Mexican themed bar, which served authentic Mexican food as well as Mexican beer, tequila, and cocktails. We chatted with some of the workers there. Two of the bartenders were lesbians. The older of the two was the partner of the owner of the bar, who usually makes the food. Being in a space where so many queer women could openly talk about their partners together made my heart all warm and mushy.

Next we went to the bar next door, which was considered a bar for transgender women, and my partner joined us. There is still a fuzzy line in the Japanese LGBT community between men who wear drag and transgender women, so it was unclear whether the bartenders were women or just gay men in drag. But they were very warm and kind, and they were happy to take my partner under their wing and answer her questions about transgender issues and presenting as a woman in Japan. There was also a transgender woman sitting at the bar with us, and it was nice to have that visibility and know that these people exist in Japan and have a space to feel happy and comfortable.

Anyway, lastly, let's talk a little about my beautiful partner, Frankie. We first met online and found that we had mutual friends in Kyushu in 2023. We even realized that we crossed paths at Pride in 2022 several times without actually meeting each other. We talked online for a bit and then met as friends for the first time last summer.

After our first meeting, we realized our feelings for each other and had several dates before becoming an official couple.

Frankie lives in Kumamoto, which is pretty far away from me, but we still see each other almost every weekend. We both drive about an hour to our respective ferry ports and one of us rides the ferry over and drives back home with the other. As you can imagine, it's time consuming and expensive, but we're just happy to see each other. This month we celebrated 9 months together, and we are making plans to live together in the US when we return later this year. She's so kind, smart, loving, beautiful, and talented, and I'm so grateful to have her in my life.

Well, this post was veryyyyyyyy long, but it's something I've been wanting to discuss for a while on my blog, and I wanted to cover as much about the LGBT experience here as I could. Being part of the LGBT community, the issue of LGBT life in Japan is very important to me, and there is still a long way to go before my LGBT students can live openly and freely. Although I'm leaving Japan soon, I hope I can become a role model for my students while I'm still here, one that stands proudly and declares that I am allowed to love and be loved in the way I deserve.

Thanks for reading <3

[thatonebirdwrites]

Crosspost about Collective Grief and Action

I think of the mass death we are seeing. I think of the collective grief, and how grief is love made manifest. I think of how some of us are trapped in various stages of grief, paralyzed with pain and grief and fear, where they are unable to move forward, because how can we? I think of hope and how hard it can be to choose hope in this dark time.

From Covid, the lower estimates put the dead at 25 million globally, but other studies that examine deaths often omitted from official counts for bogus reasons, puts that dead much, much higher. At 75 million.

Then there's the 65 to 105 million disabled by LongCovid, many with little to no resources, who - like myself - often fall through the cracks in the broken care systems.

Then there's the billions who have died due to the growing planetary crisis due to corporations and political actors refusal to give up oil so humanity and the diversity of life can have a chance at surviving.

Then there's the genocides happening as fascist governments turn on citizens and neighboring countries and the as-yet-unrecognized-by-Western-powers-states.

How do we grieve all this?

Some fall into denialism, where they refuse to acknowledge the deaths. Where they try to live in this alternate reality where they no longer have to face the reality.

And yet, what does that denialism do?

It only upholds the mass death. It falls into the culture of death, allowing the horrors to continue.

Denying reality cannot stop the mass death and disablement.

Only accepting that this is our reality, acknowledging the massive collective grief that saturates us, and stepping up and saying:

"Our collective grief is real and valid. Our pain is real and valid. We are facing multiple planetary and communities crises, but I choose hope. I choose to act. I choose to build up my community, to engage in safety measures to save more lives, to fight to dismantle this culture of death, and to speak the truth no matter what."

Because, even in this culture of death, our power is not gone. Capitalist colonialist cishet white supremacy may shove down our throats that we are useless, that we are only cogs in its machine, that we have no power.

And yet, that is false.

We do have power. We see this power in the unions that fought for better pay, benefits, and community needs.

We see this in the disasters that hit our communities, when we band together and help our neighbors, where we help each other rebuild our homes.

We see this every time we wear an N95 Mask or better to protect each other. Where we fight for masks in healthcare to lower the incident rate of hospital-induced diseases. Where we fight to normalize pandemic mitigations to better prepare our present and future.

We see this every time a mutual aid initiative starts up and continues forward, where food and money and clean water is shared among one another. Where we care for our community members, where we do our best to reach out to those who are isolated and often left behind, and where we make sure no one is left behind.

Humans have a great capacity for love and kindness. We are a social species and cannot survive for long in extreme isolation.

We have great power together. When we collectively gather and fight for our right to exist and have a future and a habitable planet? That power within each of us is woven into a mighty whole that has the potential to tear down the culture of death, and in its place rebuild it as a culture of life, of hope, of justice, of equity and harmony.

This is what we must remember.

We must allow ourselves to grieve all the mass death and losses we have endured, but we must not get trapped there. We must act upon that grief.

Because what is grief if not love realized?

To honor the memories of all our dead, we must act. We must act together as a collective whole.

[finspirationfun]

25 Life Rules

In honor of turning 25 this month, here are some lessons I wish someone could've baked into my brain by 18.

Putting yourself first is not selfish, it is an act of self-care. Actively discounting others is not the same as protecting your peace.

Pay attention to who gossips and keeps to themselves amidst an interpersonal conflict. Insecure people or those in the wrong will speak the loudest and go on the longest in a fight to prove their innocence. Individuals who are self-assured and comfortable with the truth know it's better to communicate their feelings appropriately and then move past it. Confidence is assertive, tactful, and relatively silent.

If you want to know who to believe in an argument, pay attention to how both sides speak about the conflict. The perpetrator will often speak about the individuals' character/morality while the victim will explain their personal experience in the context of the relevant situation.

Display empathy and consideration, but don't live to satisfy others' emotional needs and expectations. Say farewell to anyone who dismisses or guilts you for your own needs, emotions, priorities/life goals & aspirations.

Your needs matter. No one needs to approve or validate your desires. If someone feels they have control over you or tries to persuade you to change your mind to ensure you put their emotions and needs first, cut them out of your life. They do not care about you.

Almost no one deserves insider access into your life and mind. Upholding your right to privacy – especially regarding your finances, dating life, health conditions/concerns, and long-term goals – is the simplest way to protect your peace.

A friend to all is a friend to none. Be wary of those who will not stand up for you behind closed doors. These people do not care about you, they care about what your place in their life does for them and their ego.

Be radically honest and accepting of who you are. Don't apologize for your preferences, aspirations, and values. You deserve to live in a way that makes you happy, not to appease others in hopes of their approval or future favors due to your karmic good deeds.

You deserve happiness, love, and nice things, life experiences, relationships, and opportunities in your life regardless of what others may or may not possess/ be able to experience. Dispel this scarcity mindset ASAP. Jealousy and internalized shame are destructive to your self-esteem and all your relationships.

You are worthy and offer many incredible, unique gifts to the world. Don't allow naysayers, critics, or bullies (of any age) to dim your light or sacrifice pursuing your dreams. Decide you're the leader of your own life. Then act accordingly.

Direct communication is always the way. Remain tactful, but at least when dealing with non-manipulative people, always say what you mean and mean what you say. It will save a lot of trouble and petty disagreements that could've been avoided with clearer communication.

You don't owe anyone an explanation for your feelings, emotions, and actions that don't have a direct, inescapable impact on someone else. "No" is a complete sentence.

Approach conversations as a meeting of the minds. Healthy debate or conflict is about seeking to understand the other person, not prove yourself right. Leaving your ego at the door will allow you to expand your mind and avoid many unnecessary conflicts or arguments.

If it's not a hell yes, it's a no. For a job, date, sex, attendance at a time-sucking social event, family gatherings, an informal meeting not essential for you to keep your job, a wedding, birthday party, holiday invitation, etc. Outside of your contracted hours and time necessary to keep yourself/your home clean & well-maintained, you should spend your time exactly as you please. Doing things you don't want to do will only breed resentment down the line toward yourself and others.

Detangle yourself from any who refuses to self-reflect and take accountability. This person is selfish and will never see you as fully human with emotions, needs, and a complete life/internal world of your own. Cut them out (or at least fully emotionally detach and limit contact with them) immediately.

Speak your truth, but always say a little less than you feel necessary. Overexplaning and oversharing do you no favors. At a minimum, this approach allows you to protect your peace. In the worst circumstances, this tactic can also save you from a lot of trouble in your personal or professional life.

Learn to ask for a little more than you're comfortable with, but do so with grace, tact, and confidence. Whether it's a salary/rate negotiation, flight/hotel/restaurant accommodations, get in the habit of making that slightly higher/up-leveled request like you're expecting a "yes." You can't get something you don't ask for, so speak up and show you know your worth. This habit can bring a lot of great opportunity into your life and builds up your confidence.

Everyone is on their own timeline and path. Don't compare yourself to others' credentials, job titles, relationship status, net worths, or jean sizes. Comparison is truly the thief of joy. Remaining envious of others only takes up the energy that could otherwise be used to elevate or enrich your life.

Become clear on your priorities, and remain diligent with your habits & routines. Set SMART goals. Implement healthy habits and rituals into your daily lifestyle. Be consistent with goal-supporting and wellness rituals (generous sleep schedule, healthful eating habits, daily movement/regular exercise, reading, task time-blocking, cleaning, and life/work admin schedule), so they become second nature. Help yourself by creating these default habits to ensure your brain is wired for success whether you're in an easygoing era or a stressful life season.

Stop seeing other people (especially other women) as your competition in your profession/dating life and within your platonic relationships. Use your immediate criticisms as a tool for self-reflection. Actively deconstruct the patriarchy in every aspect of your life. Other women coworkers, dating prospects, and friends are not your rivals nor individuals who should be evaluated based on their assertiveness, sexual history/appeal, relationship status, or desire to perform traditional maternal/domestic roles.

Understanding how to interact with others in a cordial, tactful manner is significantly more important than having everyone like you. Learn how to positively influence people without seeking approval. What other people think of us is none of our business. All we can do is show up as the best version of ourselves, and remain optimistic about a potential connection.

Acceptance, accountability, and consistent discipline are the holy trinity to creating a sustainable change that you can maintain for the long haul. There's no shame in starting from the bottom, but you need to be honest about where you're at, so you can create a realistic game plan/small behavior-changing habits that stack up over time to help you implement the radical change you're craving.

Let go of any internalized shame. Being the "good girl" does you no favors in life. Set a standard and expectation to be respected, not to be perceived as "innocent" or submissive – this is how you get taken advantage of in professional, platonic, and intimate relationships. Remain ravenous for respect. It's the only way to live life to the fullest.

24. Investing in your appearance is a form of self-respect. Wanting to look & feel your best and present yourself in the best light possible to others is not a superficial pursuit. Remain unwavering about your hygiene/beauty/grooming routines, deliberate styling choices, healthy eating & workout habits, and mindfulness of social graces. You're your #1 publicist, so act like it. Life is all about embracing satisfaction with a sprinkle of reputation management.

25. Be unapologetic about your financial ambitions, priorities, investments, savings goals, etc. Financial freedom IS freedom. The only way to change the system is to break it from the inside out. Leverage is everything. Allocate, and assert your (financial) power wisely.

[justinforprez]

sorry idk how to say this but literal nationalism and fascism as a part of the ideology of a "centre" party makes them ultra-right, no matter if the rest of their policies are centrist. this is similar to how the nazis took ideas from both capitalism and communism, and held themselves as enemies of both, but their fascism and nationalism still cemented them in the ultra-right, as their core is still based in the upholding of social hierarchy, which is the core of the left-right axis.

So if your core value is science based worker-oriented communism and environmentalism but you want to genocide jews then it would be okay? I mean they are the 1% after all

Fascism and nationalism and populism are the same thing.

Protecting the interests of your own country is good when ideologies you like do it but when an ideology that you don’t like tries to protect their economy and culture it’s evil.

All countries have a duty to their people and NO ONE ELSE. So jot that down

Different parties are good. Even if you disagree.

One belief doesn’t alway make someone evil. Nor does calling someone a fascist make them evil. It is our actions that have weight not the verbal damnations you proclaim at them.

Please for the love of whatever you believe in THINK for yourself

There is no right or left. Those are oversimplifications

Saying that you don’t want immigrants doesn’t mean that you would skin jews alive and burn them.

I don’t want those GOD DAMN SPIC MEXICANS in america because they are being underpaid and treated like slaves. Its just a legal way for companies to exploit cheap labor. I would much rather we resolved our social issues and figured out why we aren’t breeding and why we are so fucking lazy (car and oil companies) instead of relying on 3rd world labor.

I don’t want us to trade with those SQUINTY EYES CHINKS because I do not approve of 3rd world slave labor. I want us to all be paid well enough that we can afford locally made goods and not junk made by slaves.

My personal politics are that of mutualism (an anarcho socialism/syndicalism that is all about workers right to own the company they work at)

I do not wish those people any ill will. Naughty no-no words do not invalidate the argument and they do not change my beliefs that we should protect our workers FIRST and by doing so we can force those other countries to do the same. They can’t justify slave labor making iPhones if they aren’t making us cheap iPhones. They don;t need suicide nets for non-existent hell factories.

We should erect trade barriers not based on tariffs but based on workers rights, pay, and safety. Oh your minimum wage is half of ours? 10%. Oh your cheap steel mills have 3 deaths a day? +20% tax. Workers don’t have the right to unionize in your country? Plus another 30% tax

This levels the playing field in a meaningful way

Sorry you can’t come here to work. We have citizens that can do the work. But they demand too much pay! Good. Pay them.

I am sorry that capitalism and greed have warped your mind to the point where you despise the lower class and honest working folk but I care for them deeply.

In the same way that it is okay for non-dangerous cultures to exist its also okay for worker cultures to exist. I want to protect my local blue-collar culture which is very different from how it was on the other side of the country.

There is. Nothing wrong with mexican worker culture but I just want ours to be protected. Its different and helped build a great nation. Perhaps we should investigate the merits of our mexican brethen such as the siesta (taking a god damn break when its fucking hot as hell) but our work culture in the past allowed for a single working man to buy a home and raise a family. Obviously suburban sprawl is destroying our wealth and culture so we need to go back to when trams were the norm with mixed use zoning.

Our culture was never perfect but by taking parts of it that are good and getting rid of the bad (mostly racist) parts we can forge a functional society that cares for each other

TL;DR Xi Jiping won’t fuck you bro