#i need to think more about details with characters

[fictionalsweethearts]

SUBLIMATE THE PAIN | SEVIKA X READER | ARCANE

Synopsis: Sevika helps you to explore yourself and subside the pain and the shame of self pleasure.

Contains: comfort, soft!sevika, unexperienced!reader, wlw, first sexual experiences, soft talk, masturbation, fingering.

A pretty personal fic, tbh, but Sevika as a character seems to be patient and loving when it comes to sex and I'm here to write about it. Enjoy!

Sevika had promised you patience and comfort, a woman with her vast sexual experience knew the unpleasant and uncomfortable details of love. She knew the burning and the pain, the disgust, the sorrow, the shame and the numbness, and for that reason she had promised to accompany you in the process with as much patience as necessary.

She kissed you again on the neck, a mirror stood before you sitting on the bed, Sevika's vast hand ran over your breasts and her grey eyes looked at you through the reflection, inviting you to stop ignoring the signs of your body. Her breasts brushed your back, her mechanical hand gently parted your legs and revealed the juiciness and softness of your core.

"How do you pretend to touch her without knowing her?" The woman asked. "You ignore many things, babe."

Your cheeks burned with embarrassment since you had your first kiss of the evening, but you promised not to let shyness win you over this time. It was the third night and the third time you tried, the last two having ended with a sudden lock-in in the bathroom or tears of shame and frustration running down your cheeks.

"I can't. I swear I can't." You cried as Sevika kissed your wet cheeks.

"Of course you can, don't be like that with yourself."

You considered that Sevika could be your mentor in this unknown field for you, the guide that would allow you to understand sex as something more than a mere routine or necessary act. "To begin with, doll, we don't intend to have a child with this. Not even if we wanted to. Second, I've seen as many pussies in my life as I've smoked cigarettes and yours is undoubtedly beautiful."

You laughed to hide your shame, but Sevika meant it. She was decades ahead of you in sexual experiences, she knew the female anatomy in depth, taking the time to explore herself first. Sevika knew that no one could teach her how to have an orgasm, and she fondly remembers the first times she tried self pleasure in the silence of her room, picturing that pretty girl at the market who used to sell her peaches at a good price. It was another Zaun, more precarious, less saturated with pornography and violence, and certainly her brain needed little to start imagining. And the softness of the girl's breasts under her blouse, her long neck and olive eyes were more than enough to awaken that visceral desire in her.

She dedicated her first orgasm to that girl and her peach scent. It was in a way tender, but the starting point of an endless journey through the unexplored region of sexuality. She soon discovered that inserting a finger was pleasant, that if she moved it in a certain way, it was even more so. She discovered that her breasts were sensitive if touched properly, that her entire skin was a map of erogenous zones and tickles, that rubbing her pussy against the pillow was delicious, and that after an orgasm she slept better. And soon, as soon as she was over five foot seven and learned to smoke without coughing, Sevika discovered that touching herself tasted better if someone she liked did it for her.

"Slow." Sevika whispered, placing a kiss on your shoulder. "Look at yourself. What do you see?"

"My pussy." You whispered, barely giving your reflection time to look back at you.

"You say it like it's a bad thing."

"It's not bad it's…"

"Strange?"

"I don't usually look at my pussy, Sev." You groaned.

"You should, it's pretty." Sevika laughed, caressing your waist with her metal fingers. "Think of all the men who have been staring at their cocks for as long as they've been conscious of them hanging between their legs, do you think they feel ashamed?"

You hesitated. "No?"

"There are two things a man always believes to be true." Sevika said, her tone lighter. "That they have the fattest cock on the block and that they can duel a bear without weapons, and win."

You laughed, your legs shaking slightly. Sevika smiled back. "If only you had the confidence they have in themselves, doll. It would be all so different."

Your expression sobered, this time giving the gap between your legs a longer look, that much neglected organ that deserved just a little more recognition in your life and in the lives of many other women.

"Look at the labia majora, the shape of it, the length of it…" Sevika whispered. "It frames the labia minora, the ones closest to the entrance."

You'd seen them in some anatomy book at the library, but recognizing them on yourself was quite different.

"I should have shaved more." You groaned in frustration.

Sevika snorted. "Are you saying that because of you or me? Cause lemme tell you, a hairy pussy doesn't grosses me out. On the contrary."

"But it does to me."

"Mine repels you?" Sevika inquired, leaving you speechless for a moment.

"No…" you whispered. "Yours… it's yours."

"I see. Now think the same about yours, sweetie." Sevika said. "Yours is what it is and that's it. Don't you dare apologize for how your body looks. Do I apologize for not having an arm?"

And you fell silent once more. Sevika sighed, kissing your neck. “You get my point.”

Sevika reveled in your body, in your flushed cheeks and focused eyes. She loved seeing you present. “You’re already wet.” She whispered. “But it can get wetter. Take two fingers.”

Sevika brought you index and middle fingers parted to the sides of your entrance, urging you to press. “Massage, slow.” She whispered, showing you the movement.

You obeyed, following the motion timidly at first, until you soon understood the purpose. That movement, however subtle, opened a pent-up dam that began to make you wetter and wetter. You moaned, feeling the urge to touch the rest but Sevika held your wrist. “Start from edges.” She said. “Don’t rush it.”

It was one of your vices, quick, silent masturbation. With your legs closed, a hand on your mouth and your eyes closed tightly, as if you were committing a crime that you wanted to finish soon. They were fleeting moments of pleasure that later turned into disconnection with yourself.

But Sevika knew you deserved better than that.

With your index finger you traced circles on your labia majora, slowly while Sevika whispered in your ear, kissed it and bit your lobe, making you shudder subtly. It was a constant and gentle movement, with no other purpose than to explore yourself.

"Come closer to the center." Sevika whispered. "Apply pressure, rub a little."

Your eyelids fluttered at that tickling between your legs, the sticky and wet murmur of your folds that made Sevika moan softly and her breathing accelerate, her breasts pressing against your back. Your hips moved unconsciously, you looked at your hand through the mirror, delicately between your legs with the elegance of an erotic painting.

"You're so pretty." Sevika gasped. "Look how your cheeks blush."

"Yours too."

Sevika smiled. "It just turns me on like you can't imagine seeing you touching yourself."

Sevika was known to be an avid spectator. More than once she would abstain from participating and sit on the couch in the brothel with a cigarette between her teeth, asking her girl to give her a show. There was something about watching such an intimate ritual that stirred every nerve fiber in her. Watching them unfold before her, rubbing themselves the way they liked, moaning genuinely, shuddering, whimpering and sighing, being able to see how their own hand is able to take them on a roller coaster of sensations. That ritual held a power that Sevika was fascinated to behold, and tonight you were her apprentice and her muse.

Sevika squeezed your breast, playing with your hardened, sensitive nipple. She already wanted to taste them, but she had to be patient. The appetizer was your self-exploration, the dessert was her mouth between your legs.

"You know… when there's too much business to attend to." Sevika said, her grey eyes watching you. "I can't visit the girls, so I lay back on my bed with a cigarette between my lips…" she murmured. "And I squeeze my breasts. Over and over, I touch them… massage them… while thinking of old encounters, of sounds… smells. You know how I love smells."

"All of them." You whimpered.

"Yes… from the armpits to the neck, between a couple of breasts and a wet pussy." Sevika sucked in between her teeth. "All of them."

You remember how Sevika had taken to sniffing you the first time she had you. She inhaled the scent of your neck and the crook of your elbows, behind your knees and your armpits. It was a scent loaded with codes, codes that communicated intentions. The pheromones were the best card to attract the most finicky organ of the human body; the nose.

"Sev." You whimpered. "Can you…?"

"That would be the shortcut, so no. I won't touch you yet."

You groaned, tilting your head back as Sevika placed a kiss on the top of your head. "Patience." Sevika drew your hand to the shy hood at the top of your pussy. "Pamper her, that's what it's for."

You traced circles around it, letting out a gasp. Sevika kept her hand on your wrist, indicating the methodical and steady pace, drawing sweet moans from you. "I'm wet just by looking at you." She whispered.

You bit your lip, the urge to grind harder and harder. An orgasm was building inside you, steady and certain, as Sevika kissed your neck and motioned for you to quicken your pace. "Ah, fuck…"

"Moan better." Sevika said. "You can be as loud as you want here."

You whimpered, your hips seeking more contact as you moved and you rubbed against your hand. Sevika pressed her fingers against you, urging you on. "Keep going… don't rush." ​​

"Ah, Sev."

"You like it? It's better when you don' try to cum in two minutes."

You hurried your hand, but Sevika held you back. This wasn't a race and you were certainly getting ahead of yourself. "Old habits die hard."

Her metal hand held your legs apart, her other hand ascending to your chin to make you look at yourself in the mirror again. “We’ll try again, okay?”

This part was the one you liked the least. It wasn’t just the pain, it was the accumulated frustration from past sessions with no results. Sevika told you it was all in your head, that you were just as deserving of this pleasure as others. But you still felt skeptical.

“Middle finger.” She whispered, bringing it to your entrance. “Just press, darling. Soften your entrance.”

You pressed your lips together, obeying her command even though you preferred to rub. You eased the tip of your finger, gently moving it in circles. “It already burns.” You whined.

“I know. We talked about sublimating pain, remember?” You nodded. “Your body is already relaxed, you’re wet. You need to focus on breathing.”

It seemed that when it came to penetration, your body locked up. It was an overwhelming burn, a wall of fire if you will, closing in around your fingers and keeping you from entering. Sevika had tried this in the past, drawing whimpers from you that would never stop causing her guilt. This time, however, it was about allowing yourself to do it.

"I don't like it, Sev."

"You don't like it because you're predisposed to suffer." she insisted. "I know you can, babygirl."

You looked at Sevika through the mirror, her grey eyes soothing you. "Breathe, deep. One… two…" you inhaled, your hand between your legs, the wall of fire present. "Three. Exhale…"

You dared to venture deeper, your walls coupling to your finger as the burn quickened your breathing. "Shh." Sevika kissed your neck. "Breathe again."

One… two… three…

Exhale.

“Ah…” you moaned, inserting the last bit of your finger and feeling the latent but less painful tension. “Mhm.”

“Good girl, look at yourself.”

You opened your eyes, looking at yourself in the mirror. The palm of your hand rested against your clit, your finger inserted all the way in, like a new but unrejected intrusion. “Sev.”

“I told you you could, you're taking it whole.” Sevika smiled. "Can you move it?"

You barely curled your finger, but you recognized the rugous wall inside you. "Yes…" you moaned.

"Breath for me." continued Sevika, gently taking your wrist as she motioned you to curl your fingers once more. "One... two..."

"Mhm, Sev." you moaned, your eyes closing. "Fuck."

"Does it hurt?"

"The pressure." you managed to explain.

"You're tensing, baby. Relax..." Sevika let out a pant, kissing the side of your neck. "You're doing so good."

You endured and took a deep breath, curling your finger against the inner wall Sevika talked you about. You felt a tickle, barely diminishing due to an increasingly timid pain.

And Sevika seemed pleased. "You did good, baby. Rest."

You pulled your finger back when the pressure forced it, only for Sevika to cup your chin in her fingers and pull you in for a long kiss. "Well done." She said between kisses. "Fuck, you looked so beautiful."

Sevika showered you in kisses, from your mouth to your navel, repeating how proud she was of you. "You've crossed the threshold, gorgeous. You just need to practice."

You smiled, feeling the hint of a happy cry build up in your throat. But Sevika cheered you up with another kiss. "We'll try again tomorrow. Sooner than later I'll have you cumming in my fingers over and over again."

You chuckled, watching Sevika kiss your inner thigh. "It's rude to look at the food without eating it, y'know?" you teased her.

"How rude of me." she purred, her kisses coming closer to your wet and now dilated pussy. "You better moan properly, doll."

"All you want."

[m-neuvillette]

First kiss interrupted - Wind Breaker boys

Togame, Umemiya, Suo, Kiryu x fem reader

Author notes: HAPPY BIRTHDAY UMEMIYA🩵🩵🩵 spoilers for Umemiya’s background in his and don’t worry you and the characters will kiss at the end so you aren’t left hanging!

Togame:

You hear an obnoxiously loud knock at your door and it can only be one person. Your next door neighbor and your childhood friend, Choji. You’re glad that your grandma is always out when he decides to come and “knock” on your door, she would think someone is trying to break in. You laugh at the thought and swing your legs off your bed to go answer the door. You weave through your house and open the door to see Choji raising his hand like he was going to knock again and Togame holding his arm back. “Choji, you seriously need to wait more than 10 seconds. You could have hit her.” Togame says as he releases Choji’s arm.

Choji laughs and turns his whole attention to you, “Well I didn’t so it’s all good! Anyways come hang out with us and Shishitoren! We are hosting a party at Ori and thought you would want to come.” Togame is quick to add in, “Don’t feel like you have to, no pressure.” You look to make eye contact with him and he gives you a little smile. You feel your knees almost give out, his smile is something really rare so your heart races anytime you see it.

You debate on what you want to do. Yes you would get to hang out all night with your crush, but you would have to deal with all of Shishitoren and some of them can be a lot especially at these parties. You haven’t seen Choji and especially Togame since the whole restoration of Shishitoren so you think it’s worth it. You look at Togame and reply, “I’ll go. I haven’t seen you guys in a while and I bet the party will be fun. Come inside and let me change. Oh I also have to leave a note for my grandma, she’s at the senior game night with her friends.”

Choji starts jumping up and down while Togame pushes him inside and shuts the door, “YAY! But seriously it’s sad that your grandma gets out more than you.” Togame smacks the back of his head, “Leave her alone. Not everyone has the energy to run around the city 24/7 like you.”

You are walking to your room but you laugh at their argument and call out to them, “See Togame gets me. Keeping up with you is hard, I don’t know how he does it.” You get in your room and close your door but can still heari Choji and Togame bicker. You want to impress Togame tonight because you think tonight is the night you are actually going to try and confess to him. You look around your closet and decide to pick out a black skirt and white sweater with a little bear drinking boba. You are happy that your grandma dragged out of the house earlier to go grocery shopping because you put on some makeup before the two of you left, so now you don’t have to keep the guys waiting too long. You tie up a pair of converse then spray some perfume on and walk out of your room.

You just see Togame standing in the living room, “Oh no, where is Choji? He didn’t break anything right?”. Togame is quick to face you and quick to turn your bad thought down, “NO! No, he just went to the bathroom.” He looks you up and down and you feel your cheeks start to burn, “You look really pretty.” Togame makes eye contact with you again and gives you another smile. That smile can quite literally kill you but you smile back at him and thank him. He just nods his head and watches the tornado known as Choji come back into the room. You quickly write a note to your grandma saying you are hanging out with Togame and Choji and will be back later tonight. Then the three of you head off.

The entire walk to Ori was you and Togame listening and sometimes adding to Choji’s endless rambling. Choji is really passionate about telling you every detail to the new video game he got that you aren’t paying attention to your surroundings. You hear someone call out “MOVE” but you before you can even try to move you feel someone pull you into him and hold you close. You are facing a firm chest and you can recognize that cologne from anywhere. It’s Togame. You then pick up your head to see the biker blow by the three of you really fast. Choji starts yelling at the guy to bike somewhere else while Togame catches your attention, “You okay?”

You turn back to look and him and nod, “Yeah I am. Thank you Togame, if you didn’t do that I would have been road kill.” Togame’s grip tightens on you and gives you a sharp look, “I would never let that happen to you.” You go to respond but Choji cuts you off saying hurry up. Togame rolls his eyes and lets go off you but still stays super close to you the rest of the walk to Ori.

Before you even walk into the abandoned theatre you can hear just how loud the party is, it is going to be a long night if that’s how loud it is going to be. Togame is quick to sense your discomfort towards the noise, “Hey, just stay by me alright?” You look to him then nod. He grabs your hand and leads you inside to a quieter part of the theatre. You and Togame stand by a table and catch up. He tells you all about the restoration of Shishitoren and why he cut his hair. Before he gets to the next story you are quick to compliment him, “You look really handsome with short hair.” Togame gives you a blank stare and you start to ramble, “WAIT! I am not saying you looked bad with long hair. You looked handsome with long hair too, I even loved when you would let me play with it. I just feel short hair fits you a lot more.”

Togame lets out a deep laugh on that makes him nearly fold in half, “I knew what you meant, that ramble was cute. But thank you.” You look away and nod. Togame excuses himself really quick to get you two some snacks and drinks. You see Sako a little further away and give him a wave, he returns it and walks over to you. You two chat until Togame comes back, the two guys say hello and Sako goes back to the group he was standing with. Togame brought back some sweet treats and ramune. You two eat and chat more until you hear Choji’s loud voice get even louder if that’s possible.

Togame mumbles a little “Damn it” under his breath. Before you can ask whats wrong Choji’s voice cuts through the crowd again. “HEY EVERYONE! WE FIGURED OUT THE MIC AND SPEAKER SYSTEM. SO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS… KARAOKE TIME!!” You physically shiver at the thought of the guys “singing” super loud into the mic. It is already so loud now and it’s only going to get worse. As if Togame can read your mind he calls your name, “Let’s go outside and take a break okay?” Once you agree, Togame grabs your hand and leads you outside.

“Wanna go on the roof?” You look up there and think about how Togame and Choji always talk about how pretty the view from the roof is but don’t know if you can exactly get up there yourself. You respond, “I would love to, but I don’t think I can climb up there myself. Togame is quick to turn away any doubt, “Don’t worry I’ll help you. I can either lift you up or climb up first and help you up. The choice is yours.”

“How about you go up first? That’ll probably help my nerves.” Togame nods and climbs to the first level, he turns to crouch down and holds a hands out to you. You reach for his hands and he reminds you to hold on tight. He is quick to pull you up but you still need to walk a little bit on the wall to help you get up. Once you are both on the first level he makes sure you are okay before he climbs to the last level. Togame reaches his hands down again, “Really hold on tight to me here and be careful climbing up the wall is more messed up here.”

You take a deep breath and respond with a nervous “okay”. Togame catches your attention again, “I will not drop you. I promise.” He really always knows what to say to help you calm down. You look up and smile, “I never believed you would.” He returns the smile but it is quick to go away because he starts pulling you up. You pay really close attention to the bad spots on the wall and avoid them. Once you’re to the ledge Togame steps back and pulls you into his chest once again.

You two stand like that for a little bit until he lets go and grabs your hand again to lead you to the back where the railings are. Once you see the view you let go of Togame’s hand and run to the railing. The view of the city and the night sky is so pretty. You see people laughing outside the restaurants and the stars gleaming in the dark night sky. It really is the best of two worlds. “Togame this view is absolutely beautiful no wonder why you and Choji talk about it all the time.”

Togame stands next to you and leans his forearms on the railing, “Yeah I love it. I am glad you finally get to see it.” You close your eyes and take a deep breath and taking everything in. You think this is the perfect time to confess since you and him are alone. You open your eyes and look ahead, “Hey, Jo…?”

“Mhm? Something wrong?” You shake your head and close your eyes again, “Not necessarily. I- uh, well there is something I want to tell you.” You take another deep breath and open your eyes once more and turn to look at Togame, he is looking at you with the utmost patience. He is letting you take your time and not rushing you at all. The man is truly an angel. “I am sorry in advance if this ruins everything. I like you Jo. I have for such a long time, really ever since Choji introduced me to you. You make me feel so happy, safe, comfortable, beautiful, and I just have so much fun around you. The times I am with you, I never want them to end because all I want is to be around you.”

Togame stands straighter, “You like me?” He smiles and looks in the distance. He looks back at you, and leans in closer to you. You two are a barely apart, “You like me?” You nod your head in response. Togame leans in a little more until your lips are almost connected, you decide to close the rest of the distance. Your lips are about to touch until you hear a couple pairs of feet jump onto the roof yelling for Togame. Togame stands up but you can still feel his heat radiating off of him. He gives the other men a deadly glare, “What. Do. You. Want.” You watch the men stutter out, “We need your help. Choji started a big brawl because he lost the karaoke battle…”

Togame groans in frustration, “I am going to kill him. Give me a second and I will be down.” The men nod and hop down off the roof. Togame gives you his full attention and you speak first, “Go ahead, go stop the tornado. I’ll just head home.”

Togame’s eye widen, “Hey come on don’t do that, stay here.” You shake your head trying to hold back tears of frustration, “Really it’s okay, so go Togame. He probably already made a big mess.” You back up and go to jump down off the roof leaving Togame stunned, mad, and upset. Once you’re off the roof you are walking fast to get back home. You think about the whole situation again. He didn’t say he liked you back and he was probably just caught up in the moment that’s why he tried to kiss you. You definitely ruined everything.

You hear a pair of heavy footsteps coming up behind you and feel someone grab your wrist. You try to wiggle out of the strangers grasp until you hear your name and “It’s just me.” You turn to see Togame breathing heavily obviously from his run to catch up to you. Between his breathes he says, “We aren’t done talking. I didn’t get to say anything. So here it goes,” he says your name, “You are so captivating. The first time I met you I thought you were the most beautiful woman I have ever saw. I like you so much and have for the longest time. Your presence is so warming, when you smile, laugh, or just do anything my heart races so much. I never want our time to end either, the time I get to spend with you is such a highlight to my days. So please give me a chance, I want to be your boyfriend. I promise I will treat you right.”

You are at a loss for words so you just throw yourself at Togame, you hold him tight and nod your head. Togame is quick to return the embrace and holds you tight against him. After a couple minutes of calming down and holding one another, Togame tilts your chin up, “Can I kiss you now?” You smile and say “Yes.” Togame leans down to connect your lips for a soft kiss. It is short but it gets your whole body warm and fills your stomach with butterflies. You look into Togame’s eyes and tell him, “I have been wanting to do that for a while now Jo.”

Togame gives you a smirk and says, “Not as long as me.”

Umemiya:

You were hanging out with Kotoha in Cafe Pothos baking some sweet treat of Umemiya and the Furin boys for their harvest festival. Umemiya was ecstatically yelling over the phone to you about how well his garden did this year so he had to host a “harvest festival”. He was telling you him and Hiragi were going to grill different kinds of meat and then a couple of people have volunteered to cook the veggies or set up platters. Which all that left was sweet treats. That’s why he reached out to you. A lot of the Furin boys love the sweet treats you make to give to Kotoha to sell at her cafe so he thought you would be perfect.

Umemiya said that you and Kotoha can come to the festival since you two are helping. It makes you excited because Furin get together are always fun and energetic.

You are putting the last batch of cookies in cafe’s oven when you hear the door slam open. You then hear Kotoha groan, “UME WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT SLAMMING THE DOOR OPEN!?”

You turn to see Umemiya giggling, “Oopsies. Well I came to check how you two are doing. I brought extra hands to help carry the treats over.”

“We are almost done Umemiya, the last batch of cookies are in the oven then have to cool. So like 20-30 minutes if you all are willing to wait.” You respond to him. Umemiya nods and waves the other boys in.

Sakura grumbles, “No wait said we would have to wait. This is so much work.” Hiragi comes up behind him and pushes him a bit, “You’re fine. Not like you’re doing anything else.”

The boys sit at the counter and make small talk while Kotoha gives them some coffee. Half way through the conversation the oven goes off so you pull out the cookies and set sheet on the counter. Umemiya calls out your name, “Those smell great!! I can’t wait to eat them.”

You giggle, “Thank you Ume. Ironically they are your favorite, sugar cookies.” Umemiya’s pupils are basically in the shape of hearts. Umemiya tries to reach over and grab a cookie but Hiragi grabs the back of his coat and pulls him back, “You idiot, fucking waiting. There’s plenty you can have at the festival.”

Umemiya pouts and silently agrees. The boys finish their coffee while you pack away the cookies in the last box. Kotoha closes up the shop real quick while you sort out who is going to carry what.

Once the cafe is locked up you all make your way to Furin. Hiragi and Kotoha are picking on Sakura while you are walking a little bit behind him. Umemiya bumps your shoulder with his, “Thank you for doing all this. I took a peak in all the boxes because I couldn’t help myself and saw you obviously put a lot of time into this. It means a lot.”

You smile brightly at him, “No need to thank me! You and Furin do so much for the town so it’s the least I can do. Plus you’re my favorite person to make treats for so I was happy when you asked me.”

“Well your treats are my favorite. I can’t wait till you make a bakery. I am going to go there everyday and make it another hang out spot for the school.”

“Well hopefully I can open a bakery after I graduate.”

Umemiya stops in front of you making you stop too, “I’ll make sure it happens. I’ll help you every step of the way no matter what you happens.”

You stand there shocked but feel fuzzy inside. No one has ever encouraged you this much to follow your dream. It feels so special, he makes you feel so special. He makes it so easy to love him. You realize you were stuck in your head too long and respond, “Thank Ume. That really means the world to me. Once I open my bakery you’ll get a free pastry box.”

“NO! I HAVE TO PAY!! That’s how you stay in business silly, can’t give free stuff out all the time. But I won’t turn down being a taste tester.”

You shake your head, “Fine, fine. You can be my taste tester.” Umemiya brightly smiles and turns to walk again, “Well let’s go get this party started!!!”

After your talk with Umemiya the walk to Furin isn’t too long. Once you get there Hiragi leads everyone to a classroom to put everything for now until everything is fully ready to set up. Once you place everything in the order you want you feel a tap on your shoulder and see Umemiya, “Hey, meet up on the roof in 20 minutes okay? I gotta do some checks of all the classes but I want to talk to.”

You are a little concerned because it’s out of nowhere, he’s okay right? “Are you okay Ume?? Nothings wrong right?”

“Oh no not at all! Everything is all good. Just want to talk to you about something.”

It still makes you a little nervous but it seems nothing is wrong, “Okay! I’ll meet you up there!” He nods and goes to walk out of the room until Hiragi stops him. Hiragi whispers something in his ear and he nods to whatever Hiragi says. Then Hiragi looks at you and smiles. Umemiya walks out and Hiragi follows.

You decide to go talk to Kotoha about it. You find where she is talking to Nirei and Suo. You walk up to the group and grab Kotoha’s arm and tell them, “Sorry boys but I need to borrow her real quick.” You drag her away to empty classroom.

“KOTOHA, UMEMIYA WANTS TO TALK TO ME!!”

“Uhhh okay and???”

“IT’S OUT OF NOWHERE!?! WHAT DO I DO!?! You know I like him, omg what if it’s him saying he knows and he rejects me. I can’t deal with that. Especially not with a crowd on his home turf. I think I’m going to be sick.”

Kotoha smacks her face and drags her hand down it, “You’re an idiot and oblivious. No way that idiot doesn’t like you, he’s basically obsessed with you. Just calm down and talk. Confess if you want.”

“I don’t think I could do that. I would end up making a fool of myself and then he would reject me.”

Kotoha rolls her eyes, “Whatever. I’m leaving.” Then walks out of the room. You stand there baffled she just left, jerk. You look at your phone and see that you should head up to the roof now. You leave the classroom and head up to the roof.

Once you get to the double doors you take a deep breath then open the door and see Umemiya standing in the corner already. He hears you come through the doors and waves you over. You walk over to him and stand in front of him.

You two stand in silence for a bit looking over everything. Then a big gust of wind comes and makes you shiver. Umemiya is quick to take off his coat and offer it to you. You deny the offer because he would get cold without it.

Umemiya sighs and starts talking, “You know the first time I came to Furin, I actually was really young. It was after my parents died and I ran away from the orphanage. I wanted to die so I could be at peace again. But a student from Furin was the one the helped and saved me. I learned a lot that day and it shaped me into the man I am today.”

Umemiya then takes the corners of his coat then wraps it around you and pulls you into him. “I learned you can’t do everything alone. You need people you care about to help you when you need it. No matter what you’re going through those people are always willing to take the time to help you because they care about you. Those relationships are very important to me that’s why I changed Furin so I can make more connections with the people in this town.”

Umemiya leans his forehead against yours, “You are one of those people I treasure. You make my life brighter and happier. You mean everything to me and I like you so much. I want so much with you. I want to have a future with you.” He leans in closer making his intentions clear. He wants to kiss.

Umemiya just told you so much. You can’t believe someone who is so bright was at one point so dark and alone. He really is the most incredible person to grace this earth. But he really does return your feelings!! You then make your intentions clear that you want to kiss him as well.

Before your lips can connect you hear the door to the roof open. You and Umemiya snap your head to the noise to see a mad and bright red Sakura. “HEY WHAT ARE YOU DOING UMEMIYA!?! WASN’T THIS FESTIVAL YOUR IDEA!? WE ALL ARE-“ then Sugishita grabs him back the back of his shirt and throws him down the stairs. After he throws Sakura he walks down the stairs. Hiragi is standing watching the whole thing go down.

Hiragi turns to you two, “Uh sorry. Couldn’t stop him, I was busy grilling. Anyways carry on, but don’t be too long Umemiya. Everyone is waiting for you.” He turns back and shuts the door on his way down.

You and Umemiya turn back to look at each other and burst into laughter. After you two are done laughing, Umemiya wastes no time to connect your lips in a passionate kiss. He pulls you closer with the grip he still has on his coat to deepen the kiss. Before the kiss gets too heavy Umemiya breaks it off.

He smiles down at you, “Sorry I didn’t want to waste any time on doing that. Jeez, that was great. So what do you say about being my girlfriend gorgeous?”

You smile brightly at him, “I would love nothing more to be your girlfriend Hajime.”

“YAYYYYY!!! Time to go have a festival now!! I’m going to show you off all night.” He then leans down and presses a kiss to your forward and leads you back down to where everyone is at.

By the end of the night everyone calls you two the king and queen of Furin.

Suo:

Suo has always been a gentleman. That’s what made you fall for him in the first place, you accidentally rammed right into him on the street with all your groceries. He kindly helped you pick everything up and even helped you carry everything back to your house! That day you exchanged numbers and began talking each day, slowly getting to know each other.

As time went on, and you two talked and hung out more, you began to fall in love with Suo. He eventually introduced you to Sakura and the rest of his friends and you began to hang out with them when you all were out of school. You and Suo still spent plenty of time alone together, which only made you fall for him even more.

One day when you two were walking around town you turned to him and tilted your head. “Hey Suo? What is going to Furin like? Are the other guys there as fun as your other friends?” He turns his head towards you and stops walking to ponder on your questions. He puts his hand on top of your head and laughs softly.

“Well if you really want to know dear, it’s quite fun there I suppose. There’s all sorts of guys there, but none nearly as fun as you are to hang out with.” Your eyes widen before you look away blushing. “Ah I see, that’s very sweet of you to say Suo.” He lightly smirks before grabbing your chin and titling before teasing you. “Oh? What’s this? Are you blushing over a little compliment, how cute.”

You blush even more and lightly hitting his chest. “Suo, stop teasing! You do that way too much, it’s crazy! I’m gonna die from embarrassment one of these days I swear!” He softly chuckles before letting go of your chin and continuing to walk. “Well, let’s continue our walk shall we?” You sigh before shaking your head and running to catch up with him.

As the day stretches on you decide that you are going to confess to Suo, and you are going to do it soon. You can’t wait any longer without telling him how you feel, you don’t care if you get rejected, you just need to get it off your chest. So once you get outside of your house, since Suo always insists on walking you back, you decide to ask him to meet up.

“Suo? Can we meet up tomorrow? In front of Furin is fine, I just need to tell you something and I think tomorrow is a good day to tell you.” You decided to pick tomorrow because it’ll mark one year since you met Suo and you think that’ll be the perfect time to confess to him. He tilts his head down at you before lightly smirking. “Oh? What could you wish to tell me that must wait until tomorrow? I’m quite impatient you know, I’m not sure if I can wait that long.” He huffs softly before chuckling, “I’m kidding, of course we can meet up, you don’t even have to ask you know that? I would meet up with you every single hour of every single day.”

You give him a deadpan look before giggling. “You’re so weird sometimes you know that Suo? But I’m glad, I never tire of hanging out with you, it really makes me happy.” You smile before striding forward and wrapping your arms around him. “Just wait a little longer okay? Then I’ll tell you all that I have to say, because I won’t chicken out any more, I promise.” His eye widens slightly before he wraps his arms around you. “You can wait as long as you need to tell me whatever it is you need to. I’d wait forever for you, just know that dear.”

You part ways for the night and walk into your house. The next day comes and you are full of jitters, because today is finally the day that you confess to Suo. Hopefully it all goes well and he likes you back, but it’ll be okay if he doesn’t right?

Once you arrive outside of Furin, you see Suo already standing outside looking at his phone. You call out to him and walk up to him. “Good morning Suo! How was your night? Did you sleep well?” He picks his head up and puts his phone away. “Hey there dear, I slept just fine no need to worry.”

He walks up to you and gently wraps his arms around you. “Now, just what did you need to tell me today, hm? Could you possibly be professing your undying love to me?” Your arms freeze and they go to wrap around him because did he seriously just guess that? He’s got to be some sort of mind reader right? “Wow Suo, you should switch professions, because I think you’re a mind reader. Because yeah, I did want to confess to you today, I love you Suo and it’s okay if you don’t feel the same, I totally understand.”

Once again his eye widens at your confession, he didn’t think that he’d be right on the money with that guess of his. “Well then, aren’t we lucky? Because I get the pleasure of you loving me and you get the pleasure of me loving you in return.” He gently kisses the top of your head after he confesses to you as well.

“Suo, you better not be joking with me right now because I’m being serious. I really do love you!” He softly sighs before taking a step back to tilt your chin up and looking you dead in the eyes. “I would never joke about this, I know you know that. I may tease you a lot but never would I joke about something like this. I love you beyond words, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Your eyes widen at his confession and before you know it, he’s leaning in to give you a kiss on the lips. But before his lips ever reach yours, you hear yelling and feet pounding against the ground. And next thing you know Nirei is ramming right into Suo and ruining the moment. “Oh Suo! There you are! I’ve been looking for you all over! There’s a meeting with the grade captains soon so we need to get going now!”

Suo sighs before turning to Nirei and smiling tightly. “You got it Nirei, I’ll be there soon alright? Let me just finish up here first.” Nirei looks around beside seeing you and his jaw drops, “OH NO DID I INTERRUPT?? I’M SO SORRY PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!!!” Your eyes widen and you softly giggle. “No need to get all worked up Nirei, it’s okay.” Suo looks softly at you before hugging you once more and whispering in your ear. “Don’t worry, we’ll finish this later alright. I’ll try not to keep you waiting too long, I know how impatient you are, hehe.”

You give him a deadpan look before hugging him back. “Don’t make me wait too long then lover boy, I’ll be waiting for that kiss alright?” You wave goodbye to the two of them before walking back to your house all giddy because now you and Suo have confessed and you know he’s going to kiss you later.

Once his meeting with the other grade captains is over, he immediately goes to find you. You had texted him that you were sitting on one of the bridges in town overlooking a river and he practically ran there. Once he saw you sitting on the ledge of the bridge he decided that he was gonna sneak up on you to surprise you.

Once he gets behind you he wraps his arms around your waist and softly whispers in your ear. “Well my dear? Shall we continue where we left off?” You about jump out of your skin when you feel arms around you but when you turn and notice that it was just Suo you relaxed immediately. “You really know how to scare someone, you know that right Suo? But anyway let us continue, I’d quite like to see how good of a kisser you are.”

He raises an eyebrow at that and smirks. “Oh? Is that a challenge?” He grabs you by the waist and lifts you off of the ledge and swiftly turns you around. After that he grabs your face with both of this hands and pulls you into a deep and passionate kiss. After a little bit you two separate to catch your breath. “Well how was it dear? Was it to your satisfaction or do we have to do it again?”

Your eyes widen as you blush. “Well that was amazing but I will not turn down doing that again. I would love to kiss you for the rest of my life, Hayato.” He softly smiles as your use of his given name and he hugs you close to his chest. “I will gladly fulfill that wish of yours milady, until the end of time.”

Kiryu:

You had met Kiryu in middle school and became the best of friends. Though right before you two graduated you started to develop feelings for him, you were doing to confess the day of graduation but chickened out when he told you he was going to a different high school.

Though you lived in Makochi and could still see Kiryu when you two weren’t in school, you thought against confessing because he was going to the school for good fighters. You didn’t exactly want to get caught up in any quarrels. But things didn’t really go as planned on your part, because you two ended up hanging out every day after school.

Since he got out of school before you he always walked to your school to pick you up to hang out. Those hang outs were the highlight of your day, but it didn’t help your feelings whatsoever. You thought since you didn’t go to the same school, you two would drift apart. That didn’t exactly happen, and your feelings only ended up growing more.

One day you got out of school early, so you decided to walk over to Furin when Kiryu got out to surprise him. You were waiting outside the gates with your school bag in hand while scrolling on your phone. When you heard people walking out you put your phone in your pocket and waited for Kiryu.

When he walked out with his friend you waved and called out to him. “Hey Kiryu!” He looked in your direction a little surprised, he didn’t expect you to be out of school before him. “Hey there, did you get out early today? You didn’t tell me, how rude.” He lightly joked before patting your head.

“Hehe yeah I did get out early. I wanted to surprise you, wanna go to Café Pothos? I’ve been craving Kotoha’s cooking all day.” He lightly smiled at you and nodded his head, “I’d never turn down going anywhere with you, wanna head out now? Or did you want to drop your stuff off at your house?”

Sakura and the others were standing there baffled because where did this girl come from? And how does Kiryu know her?? Nirei was the first to voice his confusion. “Uhh Kiryu, who is this girl? And how do you know her? Does she live in Makochi? Does she go to school around her? Does she-“ He was abruptly cut off by Suo placing his hand over his mouth. “Sorry about that, but we are curious, who is this mysterious lady? Sakura’s romance radar is going nuts.”

You both look at Sakura before looking at each other giggling. “This is my bestest friend from middle school, she just goes to a different high school that’s why you’ve never seen her before. I always pick her up from school too.” You smile softly at him before kindly telling them your name. After you introduce yourself Kiryu grabs your hand gently and asks if you’re ready to go. “Well we’re gonna leave now, see you guys tomorrow.”

As he gently tugs you along, you turn around slightly and wave to his friends. “Bye you guys! It was nice to meet you!” When you turn around you run a little to catch up with him. “Kiryu, your friends seem so fun! I hope you’re having a good time at Furin, though I do miss going to school with you. It’s not nearly as fun without you.” He turns his head to face you, “Yeah, they are pretty fun, but you are even more fun to hang out with. Let’s get going to the café shall we? You said you’ve been wanting Kotoha’s food all day.”

He gently taps the tip of your nose before turning forward again. You were thankful he turned forward so he wouldn’t see the ever growing blush on your cheeks from his actions.

You two arrived at Kotoha’s place and walked in. Kotoha turned around to see who came in and greeted you two. “Well if it isn’t my favorite love birds! What’ll it be today you two? Same as usual?” You cursed mentally because you just got rid of your blush from before and now your face turns red once again. “Kotoha you know it’s not like that!” Kiryu giggles softly before responding to her. “Yeah we’ll have the usual, thank you Kotoha.”

Your eyes dart to him because he always brushes over when Kotoha calls you two lovebirds, could he feel the same? Or does he just not want to be rude? You two sit down and chat amongst yourselves while you wait for your food. “Hey Kiryu? Do you want to hang out tomorrow? There’s a spot that I’ve been meaning to take you for a while, it’s near my school and it’s super pretty, I think you’ll really like it!”

He tilts his head at you and nods right away. “Sure! Sounds like it’ll be fun and I’ve got no other plans, so let’s do it!” You breath a slight sigh of relief, even though you knew he would agree, you have decided that tomorrow will be the day that you confess to Kiryu and the spot you want to take him to will be a perfect place for it. “Perfect! Do you want to meet up outside here at 10 tomorrow morning?” He thinks about it for a second before responding. “Yeah that’ll work for me, sure you don’t want me to pick you up at your house?”

You gently shake your head, “No, no there’s no need for that! I like the walk here anyway!” He softly laughs and that’s when Kotoha brings your food. “Well here you go you two lovebirds, enjoy!” You both thank her and begin eating your food. When you finish you two walk out of the café, hand in hand yet again. When you are outside of your house you smile softly down at your intertwined hands and lightly squeeze his hand. He looks down at your hands when you do that and looks back up at you.

He lets go of your hand and immediately wraps his arms around you tightly. “I’ll see you tomorrow yeah, my dear?” He whispers the last part so quietly that you barely heard him but you wrap your arms around him before placing your head in the crook of his neck. “Yeah I’ll see you tomorrow, I have something to tell you then too okay?” He gently nods and lets go before waving and walking away.

The next day arrives and you walk over to Café Pothos and wait for Kiryu. When you see him walking towards you, you run up to him and hug him. “Hey Kiryu! Let’s head off shall we?” He wraps his arms around you for a gentle hug before nodding. “Yeah let’s go, I wanna see how pretty this spot is.”

You two walk to the spot, a spot right by the river a little ways off from a bridge near your school. You turn to him and ask him, “Well? How do you like it?” He doesn’t turn to face you but responds, “This is beautiful, definitely somewhere we need to come more often!” He turns to face you before gently taking your hands in his. “Now what did you need to tell me?” Your eyes widen at the fact that he remembered that, but it was now or never.

“Well Kiryu, I have liked you since before we graduated middle school and I just couldn’t wait any longer to tell you, I understand if you don’t reciprocate and that’s okay! We can stay friends or not stay friends, whatever you think is best!” His eyes widen before he pulls you into his chest.

He gently whispers into your ear, “I’m so glad that you said that, I’ve been meaning to confess to you for so long but I’ve always been too nervous. I cannot begin to express my love for you but let me just show you with my actions instead yeah?” He takes a step back and places his hands on your cheeks and brings your face closer to his.

Right before his lips press against yours you hear someone yelling. “KIRYU!! WE FINALLY FOUND YOU, WE HAVE A PATROL NOW COME ON LET’S GO!” Your heads snap in the direction of the yelling and you see Sakura, both of your eyes widen and you both blush furiously. Kiryu huffs loudly before turning around to face his friends. “Yeah, yeah I’m coming stop rushing me will you?! You interrupted quite an important moment you know!”

You giggle softly before grabbing his hand. “It’s okay Kiryu, we can talk more later okay? You should go on that patrol of yours, Furin needs you.” He sighs lightly before nodding his head. “We’ll have that kiss of ours later alright? Look forward to it!” He pats the top of your head before walking off and waving to you. You smile softly before waving back. You stand in place while thinking back on what just happened, because Kiryu really does like you back and he told you to look forward to a kiss later!

You smile to yourself before jumping up and down and walking back home. For now though, you’re just going to have to wait for that first kiss of yours with your new beloved.

Kiryu texts you as soon as he’s done with his patrol to meet up at the same spot you were at earlier. When you finally get there the sun is setting and you see Kiryu. As soon as you see him you start running towards him and as you reach him you jump into his arms. He wraps his arms around your waist to catch you and that’s when he locks your lips together in a soft and warm kiss. He spins you around while kissing you and when he sets you down he separates from your lips to catch his breath.

He sighs happily before tucking your face into his neck. “That was amazing, well worth the wait I suppose. Let’s keep doing this everyday alright? I liked this a lot and want to do this forever.” You smile into his neck and give it a soft kiss. “Yeah I’d like that a lot. That was an amazing first kiss, thank you for that Mitsuki.” His eyes widen before he presses a gentle kiss to the top of your head. “Anytime my dearest, I’ll kiss you forever and ever, no matter where or when.”

[ematini]

So I was thinking about the whole music videos situation in Arcane and guess what, I once again have something to say. No surprises there.

Arcane soundtrack is absolutely amazing, that's true for both seasons, but compared to season 2, season 1 contains significantly fewer montages. In season 2, music isn't just a background for current events. Instead, we get montages, which are basically used as a skip forward button for the show's time skips of unspecified length. A mandatory "Hey, that's what's going on in the world, but we don't have time for that. Now, back to our favorite character!"

Visually, they're gorgeous, but that's not what Arcane was originally praised for. They're more eye-catching music videos than actual storytelling. Good for Riot's promotional material, but when you put them in the middle of an episode? It makes the originally full world of arcane feel like an empty board on which characters play without any real impact on the world around them. Sure, it can be done well, like they did with Firelight's introduction in season 1, but not when it's used to tell very important parts of the story that SHOULD have an impact.

It's abundantly clear in episode 3.

Yep, that infamous part. We montage through Caitlyn using the Grey in Zaun and move past it. That's it. No real influence on the story, characters, or the world.

Imagine if they used the same approach on Jayce and Vi storming the Shimmer factory. If, instead of a mission going wrong, they showed us a montage of them taking over one factory after the other.

I know someone will come screaming "Oh, but they Grey wasn't used on civilians!" Well guess what, Jayce and Vi didn't want to hurt civilians either, that wasn't their intention, just an accident. Are you telling me that during Caitlyn's Strike Team Adventures™, no kid suddenly got in the way? No one was running away in panic and got punched in the face? They were dismantling Shimmer factories too. What happened to all the kids there? None of them panicked at the sight of five fully armed Enforcers?

That is exactly the issue with how they handled that topic and why people are so quick to defend this and Caitlyn's actions and honestly, i get the thought process. It's the writing's fault. Everyone is always screaming about media literacy, show don't tell, you don't have to be shown every single detail, the show shouldn't dwell on it, etc. But the moment they don't literally show us this on screen, people forget about the consequences of the last failed strike attempt at Zaun's criminal underground. They're are quick to say that everything worked out fine, no need to nitpick. But is it nitpicking, if the show made that clear before?

You can't just storm in and take over. Innocent people will get hurt. That's the conclusion Jayce walks away from this. That's the reality of the situation. But it's conveniently forgotten about when the writers don't want to deal with said consequences.

[meadowfics]

discrimination

kang sae byeok x f!reader

you've accepted your girlfriend from the start, when no one else did

warnings: this fic is simple background on your relationship with sae but it goes into more detail of sae-byeok and her north korean background too since it is important to her character <3.

from the first moment you met sae byeok, you knew she was different.

not in the way everyone else seemed to think, not because she was north korean instead of south

its because of the way she carried herself...like she had already survived a thousand battles before even stepping into the room.

the woman's nonchalant-like personality wasn’t cold, it was heavy.

while others looked at her with wariness, their gazes laced with suspicion or quiet judgment,

you looked at her with nothing but admiration.

being north korean in seoul wasn’t easy. people never said it outright, but you could feel the tension in the air whenever someone realized where she was from.

you remember telling your family about it.

your siblings, if you have any, seemed to be fine with it.

however, your parents seemed to be the weary ones.

they've accepted that sae-byeok is in your life, but you get offended when they tell you to, "stay safe" like sae byeok is a threat to you.

all throughout seoul.. people spoke of defectors like they were untrustworthy.

you hated that.

you hated how people could not see what you saw in sae byeok.

because to you, sae byeok was the bravest person in the world.

she had done the impossible..

sae byeok escaped a regime where leaving meant death, crossed borders with nothing but the sheer will to survive, endured things that would have broken most people, and still, she stood for herself, her brother, and for you later.

she never called herself brave, never let herself take pride in what she had done.

to her, it was simply survival.

to you, it was more than that.

she had fought tooth and nail for her life, for her brother, for a chance at something better.

if that wasn’t bravery, you didn’t know what was.

loving her came easy.

despite the way she was guarded, despite the way she kept her emotions locked away like they were something dangerous, you fell for her. hard.

even though she never said the three words, never openly confessed her love in the way others did, you knew.

sae byeok didn’t love you through words...

she loves you through actions.

she showed her love in the way she always waited for you outside after work, even if it meant standing in the cold, hands shoved in her pockets, rocking on the balls of her feet.

she never asked you to text her when you got home safe, but you always woke up to a simple message:

"home?"

if you forgot to respond, she would show up at your apartment unannounced.

she didn’t say "i love you," but she made sure you ate before you left in the morning, even if that meant pushing the last bite of her food onto your plate.

she didn’t say "i need you," but she always moved a little closer in bed at night, curling into your warmth, fingers absentmindedly tracing circles on your wrist.

she didn’t say "i’m scared," but some nights, when she held onto you just a little tighter, you could feel it in the way her breath stuttered against your skin.

on nights when the world felt unbearable, when money was tight and the weight of everything threatened to crush you both, she would pull you into her arms, pressing a silent kiss to your forehead.

sae byeok had never been one for indulgence. she never bought things for herself, never let herself spend money on things that weren’t necessary.

she had no problem spending on you.

if you mentioned needing a new scarf, she would show up with one the next day, acting like it wasn’t a big deal.

when your shoes were falling apart, she found a way to replace them before you even had a chance to complain.

she never let herself have much, but when it came to you, she gave what little she had without hesitation.

she would never admit it, but she loved taking care of you in the smallest ways.

if she noticed you getting overwhelmed, she would silently take over whatever task was stressing you out.

she rarely let herself be taken care of, but on the rare occasions that she let her guard down, you treasured it.

when her body ached from long shifts, you would pull her onto the couch, forcing her to let you rub the tension from her shoulders.

she would protest at first, grumbling that she didn’t need it, but within minutes, she would melt into your touch, eyes fluttering shut as the weight of the day slowly left her.

when she had nightmares, she never woke you up.

she never wanted to burden you with the things that haunted her.

you always knew.

you felt the way she tensed in her sleep, the way her breath quickened, the way her fingers sometimes clenched into fists.

so, on those nights, you would reach for her, gently running your fingers through her hair, grounding her back to you.

every time, without fail, she would relax, pressing closer to you as if anchoring herself to something safe.

despite everything, despite the hardships, the struggles, the way the world seemed to make things harder for her at every turn, her love never wavered.

it was steady, unshaken, like a constant presence in your life that you could always rely on.

she didn’t need to say it, didn’t need to spell it out in words. because you already knew.

maybe, just maybe, that was what love was supposed to feel like.

not grand declarations, not poetic confessions, but quiet moments of understanding, not the perfect story where both characters have no flaws whatsoever..

no matter how much you both struggled, there was one thing that never struggled...

your love for each other.

masterlist

[fangirl-erdariel]

One thing that sometimes bugs me in the comparisons to Tolkien is that - it's not even like Tolkien's works are entirely devoid of sexual violence?? Like. He doesn't go into graphic detail on it, it's not something Tolkien has in central focus. But it most definitely is there. (And hey, Tolkien also doesn't go into detail on non-sexual violence if he doesn't need to)

More specific examples and rambling on the topic under the cut, bc this got long on what is already a long post

It really doesn't take a particularly attentive reader to figure out Wormtongue's intentions and desires regarding Éowyn, for instance; like yeah he never lays a hand on her as far as we know, but the threat of what could have happened if he'd gotten his way is... pretty obvious

And Silmarillion has its share of male characters desiring women (or the political power of those women's families, depending) and attempting (sometimes succeeding) to force them into marriage. I don't feel like getting involved in the debate of whether Aredhel initially not being "wholly unwilling" to marry Eöl and stay in Nan Elmoth disqualifies her from the list or whether the amount of coercion involved is enough to still make it count.

But Lúthien most definitely is kidnapped against her will, and though she escapes before anything happens, Celegorm's intention explicitly was to marry her whether she wanted or not. Upon seeing Lúthien, Morgoth, the evil dark lord "conceived in his thought an evil lust, and a design more dark than any that had yet come into his heart", and I think we all can figure out what that is (and his lines in the Lay of Leithian, talking of Lúthien as "a pretty toy for idle hour" and speaking about kissing and then bruising and crushing pretty flowers... it's not particularly subtle), even if once again he doesn't get to actually do so.

And there's Maeglin, who desires Idril, and who is promised "the possession of Idril" as reward for betraying the location of the hidden realm of Gondolin, "and indeed desire for Idril -- led Maeglin the easier to his treachery"

And in the children of húrin bit there's Aerin of the folk of Hador whom the invader lord Brodda takes as wife against her will. And then of course there's Míriel of Númenor, whom her cousin Pharazôn forcibly marries in order to seize her throne that is rightfully there

All those are just what I can think of off the top of my head; I'm sure there'd be more examples if I cared to go digging through the material, but I can't be bothered

So, like. Yeah. Sure. Tolkien doesn't really ever use the word "rape" for the things that happen (he seems to mainly use that word in the more archaic meaning of large-scale destruction and/or robbery by violent means, rather than in its modern definition). And in Lúthien and Idril's cases, of course ultimately nothing happens, they escape and all. And as noted, Aredhel's case is more debatable since she wasn't "wholly unwilling". But still.

I'm pretty dang sure that Tolkien understood that a woman being married against her will would be subjected to sexual violence, and is assuming that to be the reader's understanding of the situation when those cases come up. Gríma's, Morgoth's, and Maeglin's intentions towards the women they desire are definitely to be understood as violent and with no care towards what the women in question want (and at least in Morgoth's case, judging by Lay of Leithian, even actively delighting in the idea of doing it by force to an unwilling victim)

And just. I don't know. It kind of bugs me when people act like Tolkien's setting and works are unrealistic because they're devoid of sexual violence? Like. Well first of all, as earlier posters in the thread have pointed out, massive amounts of sexual violence aren't necessarily realistic to begin with. But like also it is a thing that does happen in the setting too... I don't even mean this as a like "oh isn't it so fun doesn't this make the books so much more adult" or anything, and I understand people who enjoy Tolkien's books because it doesn't have like explicit rape scenes the way some other authors do. I just like... the fact that people keep claiming that sexual violence pretty much doesn't even exist in Middle-Earth, when it very much does, it's just kind of left as a threat and an implication or spoken of in very vague terms, is kind of baffling? Honestly it kinda gives the impression that the person saying it either hasn't read Tolkien since they were thirteen or doesn't actually spend the time to understand what the text they're reading means beyond the most obvious surface level. Or they're deliberately saying something that isn't true because it serves some point they want to make

Like, just because something is not shown explicitly in graphic detail with pages upon pages of description, doesn't mean it's not there in the story or the setting at all? You're supposed to pick up on implications and read between the lines and understand those as deliberate choices from the author and a part of the story and setting too?

Someone over on Discord asked, "I'm morbidly curious: How BAD is A Song of Ice and Fire in terms of the authenticity George claims it to be?"

My reply was straightforward:

The long and the short of it is that ASOIAF is basically a vehicle for GRRM to present both his rape fetish and his Hobbesian view on human nature and has less historical accuracy than Frozen or most other Disney movies.

That's actually a good way to think of it, now that I've said it--he's Family Unfriendly, they're Family Friendly, but both have the same relationship with History: just Pure Aesthetic with no consideration for how the worldbuilding would work.

[wriokitty]

#FAILBLOGGER FAVS — NOW CLOSED

As promised, for my silly Valentine’s Day event, we’re going to switch the roles and have our favs be the chronically online failbloggers <3 this is open to all my followers we don’t have to be mutuals for you to take part so everyone come join ;)

disclaimer: pleaseeeeee read this post all the way through before you send an ask pretty pretty pleaseeee

WHAT I NEED:

Send me an ask and tell me a selfship of yours (please just one) and what the dynamic/lore is—just give me a decent amount of relevant info so I know what the ship is like. If you’re only a reader, tell me your favorite fanfic tropes, preferred word count range, and if you like to read sfw, nsfw, dark content, or all of the above. If you’re a writer, please include the previous info regarding the fics you read and write (I know, I know. A lot of typing, but it makes a difference I promise. To Me it does.) Please, and I can’t stress this enough, include whether or not you’re comfy with dark content because that will severely change the direction I take things

WHAT YOU GET (PLEASE PICK ONE ONLY):

OPTION 1 — get a detailed description of how you and your fav become mutuals on tumblr and what they’re like on dash, what sort of asks they’d send you, what vents they’d make, who they’d beef with and block (as in other characters not real ppl btw lol), and what discourse they’d get themselves into

OPTION 2 — get a detailed description of what they’d be like if they wrote fanfiction about you and selfshipped with you. This includes how they might characterize you, if their forte is sfw, nsfw, dark content, etc., if they’re non sharing or sharing, who they’d beef with over you, how many comms they’d get, and plenty more idk I’ll come up with it as I go LOL

SLOTS: CLOSED — 15/15 TAKEN — for now I’m doing 15 but I might reopen for a few more when I’m done!!

FANDOMS: main fandoms include genshin, hsr, love and deepspace, jjk, bnha, and I suppose haikyuu and bllk are okay too

ANYWAYYY this is superrrr silly and unserious but I think it’s fun and would get a few good giggles from everyone so ;) anyway this doubles as sort of a milestone event too bc I’ve yet to do one after a good few milestones so ty everyone for following me and being friends with little old me <3

[mysterialistic]

Review/Ramble on Yingdu and Overall Thoughts

Okay, first of all, I think the fandom needs to chill a bit, especially on Twitter/X, because some people are overdramatizing the criticism from others. Criticizing a piece of media doesn’t mean you hate it, nor does it mean it’s bad—it just means it didn’t fully meet your expectations, and you have a different opinion. It’s as simple as that. Of course, I believe criticism should always come from an objective standpoint, not just for the sake of complaining.

Having said, let’s start rambling!

Yingdu had an amazing start. Those first few minutes, transitioning from the basketball game straight into the scene of Cheng Xiaoshi’s death, were so well done. Overall, the first episode was fantastic—the perfect mix of drama and tension. It answered some of our lingering questions before bringing us back to the Season 1 format, where they tackled individual cases, only for it to all build up to the arc’s main conflict. I won’t go into every single episode since that would make this way too long, but I had to highlight episode 1 because it was my favorite.

There were several aspects of these episodes that I really enjoyed. Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang’s bond was portrayed so well—every little moment between them, every dialogue exchange—it perfectly showed why these two are so willing to risk their lives for each other. I looked forward to seeing their interactions every week, and I was never disappointed.

Xia Fei was also a great addition, and I’m glad they didn’t kill off his character like many people theorized, because he has so much potential. I really enjoyed his complexity—he’s a spy, but he has his own morals and values. He dislikes Liu Xiao, yet he has a close bond with Vein despite his odd personality. He’s clearly intelligent, and I think that will really shine in Season 3. He already seems to suspect something, and I have no doubt he’ll get to the bottom of it. Right now, he’s angry and confused about what happened to Vein, convinced that someone killed him. But how will he react if (or when) he finds out that Vein was the one who initially killed Cheng Xiaoshi—one of his other friends, and probably the only truly innocent one? And don’t even get me started on how he’ll react when he finds out that Lu Guang tried to kill Vein or that Vein is still alive. I’m excited to see where this goes.

That said, I was a little disappointed that we didn’t get to see much of Vein and Liu Xiao. We mostly just saw what we already knew—two shady guys with their own agenda, pretending to be friendly. As an introduction, it was fine, but considering how much attention the promotional material gave them, I really thought we’d see more. Still, I don’t have a huge issue with it since they’ll obviously play a bigger role in Season 3. Liu Xiao, Vein, Li Tianchen, and possibly Xia Fei—a group of unstable individuals as antagonists… well, good luck, Lu Guang!

Now, something that does bother me about Yingdu is the inconsistencies between its plot and what we’ve seen in Seasons 1 and 2. For me, this was the laziest part of the writing, because no, Link Click isn’t flawless. In fact, no piece of media is. But in Link Click’s case, some of the flaws were painfully obvious. With every episode that aired, I kept thinking, “okay, this has to be an alternate timeline”, because so many little details just didn’t fit with the main storyline. The most obvious one is how Cheng Xiaoshi awakened his powers—he did it on his own, yet in Season 1, it was shown that he didn’t know he could do this. That makes absolutely no sense unless he has selective amnesia, which is definitely not the case lol. As for the inconsistencies with his parents, that could at least be explained by the promise he made to his mother to “not get involved any further.” He clearly remembers that promise and is likely just keeping everything he learned a secret.

Speaking of parents… Damn, Cheng Xiaoshi’s parents are awful lmao. I hated how his father acted like he was the victim, justifying his actions with, “yes, I abandoned my child, but now I take care of other children to make up for my mistakes.” That’s just… bad parenting. I actually made a whole analysis about it in another post. And then there’s Cheng Xiaoshi’s mother. The way she dismissed her son’s feelings and abandonment issues with a casual “oh yeah, it was wrong of me not to say goodbye, but who cares? That’s in the past” felt so off. The entire scene with her was weird—the humor felt misplaced. I was expecting something more emotional, more dramatic—anything but this. But based on what I’ve seen, almost no one liked her, so if the creators were hoping we’d find her eccentricity endearing, this introduction definitely wasn’t the best. Since Season 1, we’ve been repeatedly shown how deeply this abandonment affected Cheng Xiaoshi, and this is the reunion we got? It was… underwhelming.

Now, something I really, really loved was how they handled Lu Guang in this arc. From start to finish, it was just so good—his reaction when he first saw Cheng Xiaoshi again, his nightmares and PTSD, the way he carefully planned everything to manipulate events and create change. But my absolute favorite part? How morally gray he is. He planned and actually succeeded in killing Vein, eliminating the threat (though he’s definitely going to freak out when he finds out Vein is still alive). That cold smile? The scene where his hands moved like he was pulling the strings of a puppet? The way he said, “I hope we’ll never see each other again”? PERFECT. I’ve always said I wanted Lu Guang’s motivations and actions to not be entirely good. He comes across as someone selfish, willing to sacrifice others if it means protecting the people he loves—because he has the power and the knowledge to do it, and he wants his happy ending. Such a good character, I swear.

Of course, I wasn’t expecting every single question to be answered in Yingdu—that would be ridiculous lol. But I’m satisfied that the plot is finally moving forward. They gave us a piece of the puzzle—Cheng Xiaoshi’s parents, the origin of his powers, the antagonists’ apparent goal (some sort of notebook?), and hints at what we can expect in Season 3. That said, my biggest fear is that Link Click will lose its essence—the powerful message from Season 1 about how they shouldn’t intervene in the natural flow of time, no matter how painful it is, because the past and future should be left alone. Based on what Lu Guang said about the butterfly effect, we can argue that time itself is like another character—a force that, no matter how much they try to change things, always corrects itself somehow, some way. Honestly, I’m not entirely sure what kind of ending I want for Link Click, but right now, I just hope it makes sense, that it isn’t forced, and that it unfolds naturally.

And… that’s all I have to say for now.

[ngage2003]

I could make a whole post about it but my clonidine is kicking in right now so I am going to just summarize some thoughts real quick.

Alex Kralie is a character that seems, to me, to hold some level of toxic ideals relating to masculinity.

"What the hell are you on about?" Well, he seems to hold (and to have always held) some unhealthy ideas about control and other people, which can be seen pretty much anytime he is on screen.

The first you might think of is how at the start of the series, he was domineering and controlling on set, being easily agitated along with belittling and rude to his cast members. We know these traits have been worsened due to his repeated Operator exposure, but I believe it is implied/shown that he always had these traits, with how he tends to be very particular about details relating to his film and a bit of a needy visionary even when his ideas are extremely unlikely or even close to downright impossible. (I.E. In Entry 54 he talks vaguely about the fact he wanted to make original music for the Marble Hornets trailer despite Tim just having learned the ukulele and Alex seeming pretty blind on playing the piano.)

Now, I do not think Alex Kralie is a bad person, but his intense need for control, to be responsible for everything himself, along with his developed habit of harshly belittling other people that only worsens over the show and his inability to fully trust even his best friend—these are all traits very associated with men who cling to masculine ideals to the point of it being damaging to their health.

I think to some degree Alex always held them, not to the degree we see in the series but he honestly just seems like he has a long history of teasing people a bit too far, being pushy, and being the sort of perfectionist who bites off more then he can chew. It is just due to his torture at the hands of the Operator, his more redeeming parts of himself—his guilt, his connections to other people, his trust—ended up getting peeled away by it, leaving this big raw wound of a person in its wake.

I think this fact is a really important facet of Alex Kralie's character and honestly grounds him in reality and the time period of Marble Hornets, and I think the fact people sometimes brush it under the rug in favor of him just being pure evil from the start is a bit sad and misses some of the most important aspects of Marble Hornet's impeccable writing.

People tend to cite Tim as being the complex one, but really all these characters are and they deserve that recognition, even if it means also recognizing their uglier, human sides.

[clonerightsagenda]

To celebrate space archives getting published I might as well post an abandoned short story from 3 years ago that deals with a lot of the same themes in a more concentrated way. This is my toxic yuri for 2025. Enjoy and see if you can remember the post I made about it back in 2022.

This Story Was Made Possible By Viewers Like You

I never liked confession cams.

You know, someone sits in a soundproof room with just the cameras and talks all teary-eyed about how they’ve struggled, and how they really feel, now that no one can hear. But of course someone can hear. You can. You’re there, in the room with them, a few months in the future and a hundred miles away. It’s all a performance. Everything is.  

I’m not doing that, ok? This is for me.

They came to the house with bags full of clothing and artificial smiles. They came with extra toothbrushes and half-constructed plans. They came with high hopes and already dented dreams.

I came with nothing. I was already there.

It started the same as always. They jumped when I greeted them and then stole glances at each other’s reactions. No one said anything back. I didn’t expect them to. I’d been getting everything ready. Twenty bedrooms, names on the doors. Lights on, temperature tweaked up there, down here, never quite comfortable. I’m very good at that part of my job.

That first arrival scene goes through a lot of editing. Cut out the boring bits, highlight the quirks that make contestants stand out. The details we highlight set the audience’s perception of each player. Create heroes, villains, characters. No one on these shows presents themselves as they really are. You get the construct.

Me? I get a little bit more.

Let’s skip the boring parts. They milled around for a while before finding their rooms. Most unpacked their clothes. One placed a photograph on her dressing table, angling it so it would be in easy view of the camera. A bid for sympathy, I figured, but my opinion wasn’t the one that mattered.

The files would have told me that her name was Gloria Martina Sosa, contestant ID seventeen, age twenty-nine, pronouns she/her. Employed in finance and competing because her mother needed to pay for a medical procedure. The files would tell me that, but I already knew.

This time, there was a container of chocolates on the table when Gloria inched down the hallway to the dining area. She was good at finding her way around the floorplan already, even though it was designed to send them circling in the wrong direction and bumping into each other. I wondered if they noticed.

She approached the chocolates cautiously. She knew it had to be a test. I knew she liked chocolate.

“Can –” She paused before old-fashioned manners asserted themselves. “May I have one?”

“Yes,” I said.

She slid her hand in. Then she hesitated again, fingers still reaching. “Would you like one?”

I checked to see if someone else had entered the room. Nothing on the visuals from any of the dining room cameras. She was the only one there.

She was talking to me.

“No,” I said, after an obvious pause. Then, because of the manners, “No thank you.”

Her fingers curled around a chocolate. “That was stupid of me.”

I didn’t need to answer that, so instead I thought about her motives. I couldn’t show favoritism; she should know that. Did she want to look empathetic for the audience? She wouldn’t win any points cozying up to me.

Maybe she meant it as a genuine kindness. It was early enough that she might not know better.

“Do you ever wish you could eat?” she asked. The chocolate was in her mouth, but her fingers folded and refolded the square of foil.

Why was she still talking to me? I couldn’t tell her it was against the rules – it wasn’t, officially. So I said, “This won’t make good television.”

Her eyes widened. She was thinking of all the time she’d wasted here, the time her competitors might have been using to build alliances or look for clues. She yanked the container of chocolates off the table and ran back toward the hallway. She’d use them as an offering, maybe, or a bargaining chip. She didn’t say thank you, or goodbye.

Why would she? I’m not a player. I’m the host.

#

I know how this sounds, so let me set the record straight. I’m not an artificial intelligence. People love to claim they’ve invented a thinking machine, but when you drill down to the bones of one you’ll always find an algorithm. Sure, this place runs on all sorts of automation, but at the end of the day, you need a human to come up with a wicked twist or make sure the tracking software doesn’t mix up Mateo and Benjamin because there was a mishap in the laundry room and they’re wearing each other’s clothes. AI doesn’t have the flexibility a project like this demands. I don’t think it ever will. Or maybe that’s wishful thinking, since if it happens, I’ll be out of a job. It’s not a great job (I’m making minimum wage here) but I don’t have to pay rent or buy groceries, so the money adds up.

There used to be a whole team – six-hour shifts, front-end and back-end crews – but budget cuts hit everywhere. It gets quiet sometimes, but at least I don’t have to make a big production of hiding when I’m going to the bathroom with a tampon. I do the best I can, drink a lot of coffee, and chalk any delays or mistakes up to a buggy operating system. There are surgeries you can get to keep you sharper – some employers insist on them – but I wouldn’t let anyone stick neurotech in my brain even if I could afford it. Too many horror stories. It’s easy to keep them thinking I’m a machine. I slap a voice filter on, and my disinterest in everyone’s drama means I don’t have to fake sounding inhumanly bored.

But enough about the woman behind the curtain. That’s not what anyone tunes in for.

#

About half the guests roamed the halls after dark the first night, which meant prowlers skulking around corners and smacking into each other. I downed two energy drinks and kept an eye out for the most entertaining close calls so I could cut them together later. On other nights I’d feel safe sneaking some sleep, but the first was always busy.

Gloria stayed in her room. Instead of climbing into bed right away, she knelt and whispered something in Spanish. The translation software would handle that for anyone who wanted to know what she was praying for. I could guess.

When she finished, she looked up. They’re never sure where to focus when they talk to me. I’ve learned to read that lost expression as a sign I’m about to be on call. “If I need something, do I just ask?”

“That’s correct.” When she didn’t say anything else, I continued, “Did you need something?”

“Not right now.” Not from me.

#

The next few weeks passed the usual way. Dean found an immunity stone hidden behind the false back of the pantry. Three different groups swore ill-fated alliances while pretending to be preoccupied with their laundry. The first contestants were voted off, mostly because of dismal challenge performances and in one case because Heather kept stealing other people’s toothpaste. (Luckily for me, I didn’t have to listen to them moping about being eliminated. The losers’ quarters had cameras, of course – everywhere does – but none of those feeds went to my workstation.)

Most of the time the participants treated me as so much background, but there are always exceptions. One afternoon Haruto and Farah were arguing about an inane piece of early twenty-first century pop culture trivia and wanted me to tell them who was right, and Anna was asking about the latest sports scores, and one of the microphones in the dining room wouldn’t connect right even though I’d run troubleshooting, and –

“Is Corey busy?”

I pressed the intercom button for Gloria’s room and said, “One moment, please.” Then I switched channels (click). “The home team won their last game 4 to 1.” Click. “Yes, it was the same actor; they used CGI to make him look younger.” Click. “Sorry for the delay.” I punched in Corey’s ID to pull up the last place the cameras had seen him. “A lot of guests are requesting my services right now.”

I don’t know what did it. Maybe a hint of exasperation crept into my tone, or the keystrokes filtered through the speakers, or a real sentient computer program wouldn’t apologize. Whatever tipped her off, Gloria’s eyebrows pulled down. It wasn’t an expression of surprise as much as it said, ‘I knew it’.  

“You’re not an AI,” she said. “Are you.”

Damn. I could have lied. The producers would’ve wanted me to, but they left me there to play the game however I chose. Besides, I’d already paused too long. A machine wouldn’t have to think about it.

“A lot of the answers are. There’s a library of canned responses for the most predictable questions. I’m here for the more complicated problems.”

“Here?” She spun her eyes around the room like I might pop out of a closet.

“On site. Behind the scenes.”

“But you can see and hear me?” She hunched in on herself. “I don’t like that.”

“You signed up to be on a TV show.”

“That’s different.”

Because I wasn’t an adoring fan. “Did you want an answer to your question?”

“You can see him too?” She was hung up on that considering the position she put herself in. The contracts they signed asked them to give away all sorts of control.

“I can see everyone. I’m not watching all the time, though. That’s part of the automation. I get notified when there’s activity that might be interesting.” I checked the relevant screen, which showed me the feed from camera 251. “He’s brushing his teeth.”

“Is that interesting?”

“Not according to the system.” Showering would be, because the system’s a pervert. So are the folks back home, although the editors make sure to frame things just right so that we can deny we’re showing anything explicit.

She sighed. She kept her head angled toward the floor, like denying the cameras eye contact preserved some sliver of her privacy. “I guess I can’t opt out.”

“Not until you go home. You could try to be less interesting, but it’ll cost you.” That strayed dangerously close to advice. “I’ll delete this conversation, though. Have to preserve my image.”

That got her head to pop up. “You can do that?”

I wiggled my fingers over the keyboard, a pointless gesture since she couldn’t see me. “As long as you’re in this building, I’m basically God.”

“God.” Her lip curled. I’d seen her praying earlier. Maybe my boast sounded like blasphemy. “What’s your name?”

“I can’t tell you. I’ve got rules. Sorry,” I added, repeating that human touch that betrayed me.

“I don’t know why I asked.” She looked away from the camera again. “Don’t watch me sleep.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” She was pretty. But watching a pretty woman over the cameras isn’t automatically creepy. If it is, what does that say about you?

I tried to keep my word. Gloria wanted to believe she still had boundaries, and unlike our loyal viewers, I don’t get my kicks spying on people. Every so often, though, my eyes crept back to her square on my monitor. I knew so much about these people, and she was the only one who knew I existed. That knowledge was like a blinking notification that never went away.

#

I didn’t expect Gloria to talk to me again, and for a few days she didn’t. She sat in silence while I announced the day’s events or when other participants asked me questions, a frown mostly smoothed off her face. I saw it, though. That’s what she was frowning about.

Four days after our conversation, she was tearing her room apart looking for something. It’d been twenty minutes, and she wasn’t going to find it. I was waiting for her to figure that out. She groaned, tilted her head up, and asked, “Do you know where my charger is?”

“Under the sofa in the living room.”

She jumped. “That was fast.”

“Pretty good AI impression, right?” I hadn’t been watching her sleep, but I’d been paying attention. So sue me. If she decided to spill my secret, I’d have to… well, I didn’t know. It had never happened before.

“Is anyone else there right now?”

“Haruto and Farah.” Still arguing, somehow. Getting worked up about each other’s vintage cinema opinions was their version of entertainment.

She sighed and sat on the side of her bed. “I don’t want to get sucked into whether we need any more live action remakes. Can you tell me when they leave?”

“Sure.” Informal. I was slipping.

She drummed her ankles against the floor and then, with a huff, hopped up again and began straightening the mess she made. She wasn’t a woman who liked to be still. I wasn’t surprised when she broke the silence. “Does anyone else know?”

“If they’ve guessed, they haven’t said anything. This isn’t a test, or one of the puzzles you’re supposed to solve. You weren’t supposed to notice.”

She slammed a drawer. “Do you like spying on people?”

“That’s not what I’m doing.” She snorted. “It’s a job. A boring one, most of the time. Alerts tell me when any of you do something relevant, and then I cut the best footage together and send it back to the real editors. I’m not watching you every second. Who would want to?”

That got her to stop folding a shirt and look up at camera 387 so I’d be sure to see the disgusted expression on her face. “The fans?”

Fair point. “I forget about them sometimes.”

“I doubt your bosses would be happy to hear that.” She moved on to stuffing toiletries back into her bag, but her movements were less ferocious. “How did you end up working here?”

“I worked as set crew on a few smaller projects. I didn’t get training for it, but I’m good at picking up just enough to make myself useful.” That’s what kept me around through round after round of layoffs. I learned the bare bones of other people’s jobs, and upper management decided bare bones was enough. That kind of approach doesn’t make friends in the workplace, but neither does getting fired. And hey, it worked out that I’m not a team player. The only one on my team now is me.

“Do you like reality TV?”

“Hell no.” I couldn’t believe anyone would put up with the genre without getting paid for it. “But a job’s a job. Did you always dream about starring in something like this?”

She paused, clutching a bottle of perfume. “Not like this.” She took a bracing whiff – the label said orange vanilla, but smell is one thing I can’t piggyback on. “You’ll delete this?”

The start of our conversation was already flagged. “Speak freely.”

“I liked the romantic ones when I was younger. The fairy tale element; I read a lot of fairy tales growing up. Later I realized how artificial they were, but you keep hoping.” She shook her head. “I can’t believe I told you that.”

Neither could I. Then again, they were encouraged to bare their souls for the cameras. It must be a hard habit to break. “Given the data I’ve collected, I think Anna is your one true love.”

Instead of laughing, she shoved the perfume into her bag. “I’m not here for that.”

“I know.”

She zipped up the bag, stood, and looked right at the camera, hands on hips. It was the closest I’d come to eye contact with someone in months. “How much do you know about me?”

“Mostly what’s in your files.” I reread them after she caught me. I had her entire application packet, every official scrap of information the network collected.

“And I don’t know anything about you.”

“You know I don’t like reality TV.”

“What’s your favorite color?”

She shot the question at me, and I responded reflexively. “Blue. At least it is now. I don’t see the sky much on this job.”

“Blue.” She digested that and looked past the cameras, up to the ceiling and the sky beyond that she’d only see through windows until the game was over. “I miss it too.”

“Now you know one thing about me. Happy?”

“Can I ask more, later?” She sucked her lower lip between her teeth; I think the question surprised her as much as it did me. “I don’t like being watched by a stranger. I can’t stop you watching, but I can stop you from being such a stranger.” A crafty spark entered her eyes. “You are here to answer our questions. That’s what they told us in orientation.”

They did tell them that. “I’ll do what I can,” I said. “But be careful. I don’t want everyone in the house asking me for my biography.”

#

Gloria was the one on camera, but she was the one who forgot herself. She was standing in the kitchen running a plate under the water when she looked toward a camera and asked, “What do you eat?”

“Uh,” said Benjamin, waiting for his turn at the sink. “Are you talking to me?”

“Based on existing data, Benjamin enjoys soy-based products and fresh fruit,” I said in my best automaton voice.

At least she caught on quick. “Thank you,” she said, and went back to rinsing pasta sauce off her dishes.

After she retreated to her room, she said, “I’m guessing I’m not supposed to socialize with you.”

“There aren’t any rules against it,” I said, which wasn’t a no, and then followed it up with, “It’s not the most strategic use of your time,” which wasn’t a yes.

“I need a break from everything out there sometimes. At least I know what you’re lying about.”

Safer not to comment on that one. Besides, she was still going.

“Mateo is always trying to make sure the cameras get his good side; you know he’s here to make a name for himself. And Anna keeps talking about how she wants to buy her own automated mansion, like she can’t imagine going back to having to manually turn on the lights. They’re so trivial. It makes me want to toss them out a window and tell them to come back when they have something serious to compete for.”

I didn’t comment on that either, but I could’ve. The truth was, at least half the participants needed the money for reasons beyond popularity contests or tech upgrades. It didn’t matter. If I told her, she wouldn’t think they deserved it as much as she did. Even without the files, I could have read her life story in her unblemished skin and name brand outfits. She’d never sweated through record-breaking summers because during surge periods companies always cut off the poorest neighborhoods first. She wrinkled her nose at the cricket flour crackers in the pantry like someone who had the luxury to leave food on her plate. She had no idea how many people watched her and wished they could take her place – not for a chance at a cash prize or fifteen minutes of fame, but just to have a safe place to sleep and enough to eat. When people watch shows like this, it’s not about rooting for an individual, not really. It’s about constructing elaborate narratives about themselves. Wanting participants, wanting to be them: there’s not much of a difference in the end. They’re all different flavors of consumption. Some players catch on faster and embrace being the product.

But Gloria was used to being on the other side of the equation. She’d been comfortable her whole life, and this medical bill was the first time she hadn’t had enough to make the world work the way she wanted. So she came running here for a fairy tale ending, because of course she was entitled to that along with everything else.

You’d think people like me who’ve been struggling their whole lives would fight hardest, but people like that? They get vicious.

Instead I said, “So you’re saying it’s nice to talk to me.”

“It’s a change.”

I minimized camera 16’s window where Richard and Destiny are gearing up to either start a fight or swap spit. Hard to tell with those two. “What do you want to talk about?”

“What do you think of us? You watch us all day.”

“Not all day, I told you. Honestly it’s – did you ever work customer service?” Her eyebrows jumped. I could’ve guessed that too. “Well, in that kind of job, you don’t pay much attention to individuals. You’re all one big crowd. Of course, you’re also my only live entertainment. Could you do anything more interesting?”

“Any suggestions?”

“Steal Corey’s watch.”  

She laughed. Corey told everyone who would listen how expensive his custom-made timepiece was. His audience hung on to every word, although they were mostly hanging on to his cheekbones. “That won’t get me any votes.”

“I’d vote for you.”

“You mean you’re not charmed by him?”

“Not my type.”

“Not mine either.”

I know, I thought, but I didn’t say it. She didn’t like to be reminded.

#

Gloria didn’t steal Corey’s watch. The next time he made a production of giving someone the time she looked right at the nearest camera, and I almost choked on my protein bar laughing.

After she left that conversation, she slipped into her room and leaned against the door. “You always delete the video when I’m talking to you, right?”

“It wouldn’t do me any good to send it on.”

Her shoulders loosened. It was surprising, and a little gratifying, that my presence now made her relax. “In the real world, you’re pressured to be doing something useful with every second of your life. In here, every second you’re performing for the cameras. It’s nice to be able to stop.”

I covered a yawn with one hand and reached for my coffee. “At least you get regular rest periods. I can’t give you details, but some people were keeping me up last night.”

She frowned. “Would you rather I let you go?”

The frown was also gratifying. “No, there’s enough I need to monitor right now anyway. Just keep your activities within regular business hours. That’ll make you a model participant in my book.”

“I’ll try.” She settled onto her bed and stretched her arms over her head, bending back the wrists. Then she asked, abruptly, “Do you have a favorite guest?”

“I’m not supposed to pick favorites. I won’t name names, but my least favorite is someone who starts whistling when they’re trying to concentrate. I always get the tune stuck in my head.”

“I’d hate that too.” She dropped her arms down and rested her hands in her lap. “It doesn’t seem fair. You get to see all of us, and I don’t get to see you.”

“It’s for the best that you can’t.” I shifted in my chair where I was sitting cross-legged in sweatpants I’d been wearing for three days straight. “I don’t have to be presentable to anyone back here. My hair’s a mess.”

She shrugged. “It would be nice to see any new face. Can you tell me what you look like?”

“Better not.” There weren’t any rules against that either – no one would’ve thought we needed them. But I wasn’t there to be looked at. “Just… imagine me. Whatever you’d like.”

She thought for a moment and then said, “You look nice.”

“Thank you.”

#

For the next month, I watched from my hundreds of cameras and listened through my hundreds of microphones. I scoured test banks for trivia questions and rearranged the responsive floor plan to build obstacle courses. I beamed everything back to our viewers, and the network compiled data to send back. Their demands were predictable. So-and-so is popular; be sure to get close-ups. Contestants X and Y don’t get along. Trap them in a room together with a malfunctioning door. Sometimes the instructions were specific, but often they just told me what the audience wanted. By now, I knew how to get it.

While I did that, I watched Gloria. She was average, as these things go. She lasted longer than half the participants in a challenge where I cranked the temperature lower and lower. Then she flopped when asked to identify the fake headline in a social media feed. She nodded to cameras with a half-smile, and although she could be doing it for the viewers, I couldn’t help but wonder if she was doing it for me.

She stayed kinder than I expected, even as everyone dropped the niceties and the game turned into a bloodbath of votes and eliminations. I’m not usually wrong reading people. I have so much to go on.

She kept talking to me late at night. Participants are promised some privacy in their bunks. (If they read their contracts line by line they know better. Viewers get very interested whenever a player invites someone else in. That was happening in two locations, so it was easy to cover up my own indiscretions.)

“Do you know what’s happening back home?

“Only what the network sends me.” I didn’t miss it. Participants signed up for fame or money, but escape would work as well. At least locked in this house, the problems weren’t real. You knew the challenges were fake, and everyone went to bed with a full stomach at the end of the day. It’s not a bad gig, really.

“I don’t know how my mother’s doing.” She was staring at the ceiling instead of making virtual eye contact with me. “Sometimes I’m afraid I won’t get back in time. It feels like it’s been longer than a few weeks.”

She didn’t seem to be waiting for a response. They were encouraged to think out loud for the cameras.

#

Nine weeks into this round of the game, she was in trouble. We didn’t talk about it. I was supposed to be her refuge from all that. Ridiculous, if you think about it, but we all have our illusions. She didn’t have access to viewer opinion polls or other players’ confessions, but I could tell from the way she held herself that she knew. If she didn’t win this week’s challenge, she was gone.

That shouldn’t have bothered me. I don’t pick favorites. Players come and go and nothing changes. Except…

I used to talk to my coworkers’ empty chairs to hear my own voice. I erased crosswords and started them again. The job without Gloria would be… boring. I didn’t want to look across all my monitors and not see her there.

I’ve never related to the viewers who root for their favorite contestant. This was different. They’re behind a screen watching the edited version of a woman from miles away, a woman who doesn’t even know they exist. I knew her. She knew me.

She didn’t ask for my help. I’d like to imagine she respected my integrity or didn’t want to risk my job, but I saw the way she threw herself into trying to shore up shaky alliances, too little too late. She’d rather rely on herself. I might be the all-seeing eye and the voice in her ear when she went to sleep, but when it comes to playing the game, no one pays attention to the help.

My inbox dinged. The network was responding to my latest batch of video. I skimmed through it: suggestions for contrived scenarios to start people fighting, instructions to let the showers break down, standard stuff. Then, at the end: We need new topics for this week’s trivia challenge. Any ideas?

The challenges got repetitive after a while. Production was always looking for suggestions. I opened a reply, started typing, and then paused.

I could help. No one would know. Gloria would be here, with me, for another week.

It wouldn’t be my first case of workplace dishonesty. I’d fibbed on timesheets and extended my breaks like everyone has. I’d kept my mouth shut and let coworkers take the fall for my mistakes. This was interference with the outcome of the show, though. I could get fired.

Who was going to catch me? Me?

I typed, What about fairy tales?

#

Gloria was exultant. She won the trivia challenge, securing her place for the week and spurring a nasty double cross in an alliance that had been planning on forcing her out. She paced back and forth in her room, rehashing her triumph. I responded with customer service hmms. It didn’t occur to her that I might be behind the convenient choice of topics. Which was fine. If she realized, she might let it slip, or expect more favors, and I’d risked enough already. It was fine that I was everywhere controlling everything and she still acted like she had no idea. People like her are the same everywhere. They assume the world runs itself.

“If I win next week’s challenge and Richard and Destiny stay on bad terms, I have a chance,” she said. “I could win.”

I didn’t say much in response. Maybe she thought I was being careful not to spill any show secrets, or maybe to her I was just another audience member witnessing her triumph. I’d had so much time to watch and still had trouble reading her.

I’m not omniscient, is the point. I never had the power to read her mind or control her or even save her in the end. I was only ever buying time.

I’d built a habit of letting emails pile up and answering them when I felt like it, but now I never closed my inbox. I took my phone with me on bathroom breaks or rare trips outside. Of course, if the network found out what I’d done, they might not bother with professional communication. They might send a crew in with no notice to throw me out on my ass.

That dampened my enthusiasm as Gloria dreamed of making the final three. Household malfunctions rose. I got jumpy. Anna asked me a question, and I froze, because for a moment I thought I’d been caught. A spam email snuck through my filter, and I spilled my energy drink all over the keyboard when I heard the notification. I wanted to scream through the intercoms, Don’t you know what I can do? What I’ve already done? You don’t even know that I’m here.

Instead I turned the heat up two degrees and reassured Anna that she’d buttoned up her dress correctly.  

#

In the end, I didn’t get caught. The shutdown order came for different reasons. Mateo, a fan favorite, had settled into a committed relationship. The move wasn’t popular with viewers. They liked him as a heartbreaker with someone else in his bunk every night. I don’t get the appeal, but ratings are ratings.

End the game, wipe their memories, and start over, the message said, with a list of new parameters to try. Just like the last four times I got this email. Neurotech sure has expanded the boundaries of reality programming.

Like I said, I’ve got horror stories.

I flicked through the changes. The bulk were new living arrangements and challenges tailored to different participants’ skills. The true appeal was more pathos for viewers to sigh over, as former lovers betrayed each other and friends met again as strangers. They eat it up so much I wonder if the game will ever end.

Maybe I should be happy about that. It’s job security.

I could see Gloria out of camera 43. She was selecting a meal packet and humming to herself. I wanted to warn her, to say that every time before this she’d become someone shut off or brittle or cruel, and that I liked her better this way. I wanted to tell her it’d been thirteen months since she saw her mother, not two. I wanted to ask if she had any idea. But I signed a contract too.

Instead I waited until after lights out and said, “Let me show you something.”

Gloria trusted me enough by now that she waited until I’d directed her to a blank stretch of wall to ask, “Why did you bring me here?”

“If you compare the interior to the outside of the house, this can’t be an exterior wall. There’s too much space. You didn’t notice?”

“I didn’t.”

She did in three of the other versions. Gloria had rarely been a model participant. She’d explored more, discovered more, when she wasn’t talking to me. “When people do, I tell them it’s not part of the game. It’s where we keep some of the machinery used to run the facilities.”

“What’s really on the other side?”

“Me.”

She started at that, looking from the camera to the wall and back again, like she assumed I lived in the fiber optics. “You’re there?”

“In my own set of apartments. It’s roomy now that I’m the only one. There’s a side door, so I even get a little sun sometimes. There’s a lot of machinery back here with me, though. We try not to lie when we can tell part of the truth. Makes it easier to keep track of everything.”

She reached out and presses her hand to the chipped paint of the wall. “You were always right here.”

“Hang on, I’m at a different terminal.” I hopped out of my chair and squeezed myself between my desk and the one that used to belong to Paulo before the last round of cutbacks. “Now I’m right there.” I was simplifying things, of course. There was at least a foot of wires and paneling between us, but it was still the closest we’d ever been. I reached out to press my hand to the wall and imagined the touch of another human’s skin against my own.

This was my last chance to tell the truth. I could reveal everything, lead her to the emergency exit only I knew about, and invite her to run away with me to… what? We were both there because we needed something, and the world won’t give you anything for free. In this house, blasphemy or not, I was basically God. I could steer her away from danger. I could construct a narrative. Outside, I couldn’t create a happy ending for either of us.

From what I knew of Gloria Martina Sosa, the many possible Gloria Martina Sosas who had walked under this roof, she would hate me for keeping this from her.

It was a good thing she didn’t know me at all.

“Why did you decide to tell me now?” she asked.

There were a lot of things I could have said. Because this version of you dies tomorrow. Because there are bigger rules I won’t break, and I want to believe I’m a person who would break some of them, for you. Because I’m saying goodbye, and you don’t even know it.

“Because we’re getting close to the end now,” I said. “You’ll be too busy soon to think about me.”

“It’s hard to not think about you when you’re watching all the time. Especially now that I know exactly where you are.” She ran her fingers across the paint before pulling away. “Maybe when this is over I’ll be able to see you face to face.”

I couldn’t hesitate. If I hesitated, she might guess something is wrong, and my entire job relied on returning polished answers with mechanical precision. “That would be nice.” I was using my work voice, all business. “You should get back to bed before anyone wonders why you’re up.”

She smiled – at the wall rather than the camera. She might have been looking toward me, but that means she didn’t meet my eyes. “Are you worried about my beauty sleep?”

“Rest is important,” I said. “I’m not supposed to have favorites, but I’m rooting for you.”

Thanks to my instructions, she made it back without running into anyone, turning corners and ducking into rooms without a word of protest. Once I delivered her to her room, she dimmed the lights and slipped into bed to while away the last few hours this version of her would ever see.

I watched her fall asleep, and I didn’t say a word.

Maybe next time.

#

They were called in for a medical check-up the next morning. “Is this a challenge?” Gloria asked while getting dressed.

“No,” I said. “It’s perfectly normal.” The producers would be pleased. I’d never sounded less human.

#

Teardown procedure between rounds was always the same. I filled out the standard paperwork and finished packaging the last days of footage to be shipped back to the editors. My email inbox could be thinned out. I’d gotten practiced, and none of the tasks took long. Then it was just me, the empty house, and Gloria’s ghost roaming the silent halls.

If you look at it right, I’m doing her a favor. Outside the house, the monsters are so much worse than me. People want to be you, or have you, and they’ll eat you alive. People who grew up like me would understand. They might even ask me to do the same for them.

I don’t know why I’m bothering to justify myself. My job is to watch and record, not to editorialize. There’s no reason for me to sit down in front of the camera and say, My name is Cal, and there’s nothing I could have done. But I guess I’ve caught the narrative bug after watching everyone else spin out their stories, because here I am making my recording. Wishing there was someone on the other side of the screen to turn me into someone new.

I have no illusions that I would be an audience favorite. That’s never been my role.

An email with the finalized set-up for round six arrived in my inbox, and I scanned it so I’d be prepared. There will be no chocolates next time. Every round, the producers try something different. But I will say hello, and maybe this time she will say it back.

#

They come to the house with bags full of clothing and artificial smiles. They come with extra toothbrushes and half-constructed plans. They come with high hopes and already dented dreams.

I come with nothing. I was already here.

[steamberrystudio]

02/02/2025

Hallo everyone!  Tumblr devlog time!

Summary Bullets:

The last time I posted an update here was to talk about the Episode 2 public release. And now I am moving on to Episode 3. Let's jump in.

I have worked on some new sprites,

Received some new BGs

Worked on new outfits and variations

Staged sprite positions, entrances, and exits

Coded in the eye colour changes

Written up the recap for Episode 2

Coding the SFX and music cues

Started on Wil's expressions

Made some decisions about the next episode (more below)

Art:

I have been working on some new sprites as there are a couple of new characters that pop up in the next episode.

I've also been working on new sprite variations and outfits for some of the characters (including Wil)

There are a lot of new things that will be showing up in Chapter 5 because the crew goes to a new location which requires a whole new set of backgrounds.

Some of these are game-ready, others have to be cropped, prepped, and/or have variations made, however.

Writing

I haven't worked on any bonus content or anything but I did write up the recap info for Episode 2.

Recap stuff can be weirdly time consuming. I want it to be detailed enough it is informative for people but not a massive summary that takes forever to write up.

But other than that I haven't really done any writing...

Other Stuff:

I have been doing a lot of mostly small coding things - coding in the eye colour changes (which I always do before working on expressions) or adding in transitions for the menus, adding in music and SFX and stuff like that.

Before I get into the heavy coding things like the flowcharts or the expressions, there are all sorts of fiddly things that are nice to get out of the way first.

Then more fiddly things after the heavy things are done...

But for now I've been getting some of the smaller things out of the way so I can tick them off the to-do list.

I have started coding Wil's expressions but haven't gotten too far into that just yet.

I have decided that Episode 3 is going to *just* include chapter 5 instead of including 5 and 6.

I've gone back and forth since the beginning on whether I wanted episodes to include one or two chapters. 

I really like being able to do massive updates with 70-90k words because it gives players a lot of content to go through but in all honesty there are some drawbacks to doing it that way. I don't want to get into all those ins and outs but the point is that I finally decided I need to try doing a single chapter release and see if it works better for me, for all of you, and for the project.

Chapter 5 is still really big. On its own, it's over 60,000 words of content so it's not like it's a teensy li'l thing. It's still got some heft.

But yeah, that's my current stance on episode 3 and afterwards we'll see if I'm content to stick to single chapter updates released at a slightly faster pace. And if it helps my sanity.

Upcoming Weeks:

Mostly focused on sprite expressions and getting some of the BG assets ready for the game I think. 

Expressions, next to the CGs and flowcharts are basically the biggest chunk of STUFF to do so I want to get that out of the way early and then focus on other things before I tackle some of the other big development things.

That's all for now. See ya in a few weeks.

[seasonal-writes]

Hey there! So, it’s been a while. I have done a lot of thinking, some writing, some attempts—but I have come to the conclusion that I do not think I will be writing out the continuation and end of When Fate Finds Golden Rings. It took me a while to get to this point, and I'm so sorry to anyone who was hoping or expecting me to eventually come back to posting it on ao3. You know, you just.. don’t write on a fic for over a year-ish and surprise! Maybe you really lost the energy and passion for this piece after all. Which is okay. 

BUT. Instead,

Welcome to: Ro gives away the plans for the ending, rambles about that process, and gives other weird notes about their first big boy AU. Because I saw a post about bullet point-ing fic and realized I am, in fact, allowed to do that. 

Strap in because this is going to be a Big Post. Sorry in advance. And if it wasn't very obvious, um. Spoilers for When Fate Finds Golden Rings below the cut. <3

It’ll probably be starting at chapter 14. 

So, I want to disclose, before we begin: the ending is not totally up to my current standards as a writer. And this isn’t going to be me bashing my own creative process or my burnout or anything like that. I just feel like noting that… had I thought about the ending in more detail instead of flying by the seat of my pants, I think that it would be more put-together and interesting. I think that applies to the entire story, honestly. So. Yeah. If the ending falls a little flat, that is why. I was too busy daydreaming over my epilogue—which I will be talking about as well!! It's honestly my favorite aspect that came from continually thinking about the fic rather than writing it. LMAO.

Interestingly enough, I originally wrote that there were going to be at most like, 7-8 chapters left. realistically, that would probably not have happened. Considering this outline was in SHAMBLES, I can safely say it would’ve been a whirlwind last few chapters. sincerely, future Ro after writing out the mess you’re about to see.

The place where Joel, Lizzie, and Etho live was going to be the place where the ending took place. All the chapters in this “arc” as I'd call them—even though that’s not really what they are—were going to be here and were originally intended to be a deeper dive into Tango’s background. Since the first half of the story is really steeped in Jimmy’s world, it had only felt right to give Tango his own section and exposition as a character.

This was going to become the part of the story where it’s like, Jimmy and tango are in a more stable place for a moment so it gives them more time to reflect. It also would’ve given them time to be away from each other, which I thought was important for two guys who had been subjected to good ol’ forced proximity and were finally given little outs to be apart; i.e. Etho taking tango away for a day, Jimmy spending time with Lizzie and/or Joel. That was a chapter idea I had: both basically kinda being like: yeah! no! I can be alone. I don't miss him at all. not even a little. it feels weird without him here though, right- and just dealing with that. Plus the fear of getting caught, the fear of the OTHER one getting caught and not knowing. yeah. <3

Something I had planned on happening between Tango and Jimmy was that Jimmy was basically going to very much avoid his own feelings all around. He’s so attached to this guy, very much falling for him, and convinced that he is in the way despite it all. He’s kinda… under the impression that maybe he’s in the wrong for not wanting to stay, because OBVIOUSLY Jimmy knows better than to stay in one place like this after the whole journey thus far, when Tango seems so happy. So Jimmy, flawed as this idea is, just assumes Tango will be better off if he stays close to his home and Jimmy doesn’t want to make Tango feel like he has to keep running. The best way i can describe this is like

Jimmy: Man. Tango seems really happy here. I don't think he needs me. I bet he wants to stay. No, I'm not gonna ask him, that’s crazy. What I WILL do, however, is leave without telling him. 

and then he did. :) 

That was basically going to lead into a chapter where Jimmy is ~kidnapped~ on his way out of town by ANOTHER set of characters I was excited about: the mercenaries, Ren, Martyn, and BigB! Golden Rings!Ren is fun to me because he keeps the Red King aesthetic. For some context of why they exist: the three stooges mercenaries heard through the grapevine that if the two princes were captured and returned alive, there would be a big reward. I never actually decided if they’d been tracking Jimmy and Tango for a while, or if it was a coincidence that the reward went out and they happened to stumble into town. but all that matters is that Ren ‘n Gang are in fact successful, and smuggle Jimmy off to a camp somewhere along the road headed back to the palace with full intentions of bringing him home, with or without tango. 

behind the scenes, tango is actively losing his mind. so, fun fact here: I never actually…wrote down how this next bit happens. please forgive me i haven’t touched this outline in like a year and a lot has happened since then- but OoOoh wow! Tango manages to find him!! at the camp!! at night. please note here that golden rings!tango has reflective animal eyes. like cats at night when light shines on them? that’s tango. 

I had this whole scene planned where I would riff off the Tango Rage and make him go nuts on these guys. The funny thing is that Tango can’t really fight, but I think he would do an effective job on scaring the shit out of them and chasing them out of camp. Like, spooky story level shit—crackling twigs, snapping branches, etc.. At the end, Tango manages to untie Jimmy and they make a quick getaway back to town. 

When I tell you this was gonna be one exciting chapter after exciting chapter, I mean it. The next big part, dear rancher enjoyers, was going to be the confession scene. 

Basically, imagine. Tango and Jimmy are walking home. tango is really quiet, won’t look at jimmy except to make sure he’s still right there. There is a storm brewing in the sky, and they’re trying to get back as soon as possible. but suddenly, tango freezes in place. Jimmy gets a few feet ahead, but stops and turns when he notices tango isn’t in pace with him. tango looks hurt. more hurt than jimmy’s ever seen him. which makes Jimmy feel awful. and it’s like:

T: If you wanted to leave, you should have told me.  J: …Tango. T: If you wanted to leave, you should have come and told me. We are friends— a team, you've said it yourself. I would’ve been ready to go.  J: I wasn’t…I was hoping you wouldn’t follow me.  T: Why wouldn’t I follow you? J: I just thought it’d be easier on both of us if I left you to your devices here. I’m sorry.  T: You’re sorry? You think that’s gonna just- just make this better for me? After you just up and left me there, worried that you’d been taken back to your family? T: And- And you almost were, too! You were this close, Jimmy! If you were that scared of staying then- J: You know, there was nothing forcing you to come get me, I could’ve just gone and you could’ve stayed and lived the life you wanted back in the palace! I thought that was the plan! Freedom for both of us! T: ….You really just don’t get it, huh? Are you that dense? J: What? What don’t I understand? T: I am in love with you, you idiot! J: …You.. you what? [dialogue taken from the scene i started writing but never finished<3]

And then more things happen and then they KISSSSSSSS !!! 

Realistically, I want to note that the transition between here and the ending was very finicky and not written down. so, instead, i will be giving you a general run down of what the ending was supposed to be. 

With tango and jimmy now having confessed and acting upon those feelings, they think they’re safe for the moment. However, soon after, etho finds them and basically alerts them of an uptick of Nether Guard, having heard that the mercenaries reported their sighting and now, rather rapidly because ~portal transport~, the kings were sending search parties out once more. etho suggests they get out of the city, and the two agree, prepping quickly to leave what became a very good few allies and safe place for the roads once more. 

The day they are supposed to flee, the overworld’s royal party arrives; Grian heading the way, seeming to be the one sent to find his little brother. 

This part got really fuzzy for me because I don't think I ever actually plotted out the transitionary period between "you two need to run" and "we're running, it's bad."

What I do know, though, is that the final scene would’ve been a confrontation with Grian, who attempts to convince them to come home. but when Jimmy explains, begs his brother to try and understand (i also think he uses his secret relationship with Scar as a bit of an example. leverage, even); Grian eventually wishes his brother goodbye, and turns a blind eye to let them run. 

Epilogue: Tango and Jimmy, fittingly, escape to the countryside. When they eventually outrun search parties and the call for their return dies down, they settle on a tiny cottage out on a tiny farm with wishes to expand it and make it their own. Jimmy tends to the animals. Occasionally, he sends a letter under a false name, and he gets one in response; a brother, far away, still keeping him in on happenings in the kingdom and in his life. Tango dives into his redstone, creating and building and making things he never would’ve had much time to while being a king. He thinks of a guard, long left behind, and wonders if he thinks of him too. 

The two never marry, as marriage doesn’t leave a very sweet taste in their mouths—but they do make vows, whispered promises to stay together forever. A prophecy haunts them; but they were never really the type to obey any plan laid out for them, anyway. 

Some years later, a quiet life has been established—but one day, someone arrives. Tango has gone out to gather supplies, so when there’s a knock, Jimmy answers the door. 

Before him, there is a tall figure with a familiar set of eyes. Impulse, knight and ex-personal guard of the Nether Court, stands before him. When Tango returns to find him, a beautiful reunion is had; one with tears and relief and all the love in the world so present in one moment. 

GUESS WHAT !!! TANGO/JIMMY/IMPULSE CANON IN GOLDEN RINGS EPILOGUE!! IMPULSE COMES BACK TO HIS BOY AFTER ESSENTIALLY GIVING UP HIS GUARD POSITION BECAUSE IT’S NOT THE SAME!! THEY CAN BE SO SILLY TOGETHER NOW!! AAAAAAAAA I’VE BEEN WAITING TO SHARE THIS GOD-

please god someone ask me about this dynamic i’m not okay

And, yeah! That was kind of it for the story. As I said, it falls flat to an extent. It’s not the ending that I would give it today. I still wanted to share it, even if it wasn’t the best or most detailed. I love this story, I love this universe and its characters and all the work I did on it. I still want to think about it, talk about it, etc. I’m not letting it go completely, just.. the fic won’t be finished. I am of the firm belief that I could’ve done a lot of things differently, that the story could be even better if I rewrote it entirely. But that’s not a project for right now. :) Because holy shit this fic is at 65k and that would be… hoooo.. a lot of work. Just like picking it back up and finishing it would also be quite a bit of work. It’s hard—I’ve had people tell me just to do it, just to finish the damn thing for the sake of finishing it and not quitting. So, this is my version of that, even if it isn’t the same. I don’t feel like I’m quitting, I'm only a little sad about how it's ending for now, but it feels right. I’m just like 99% sure I won’t enjoy writing the rest out. And, like I said at the start, that’s okay. Passion and motivation changes. People grow.

Anyway, that’s all! Thanks for listening to my silly little ramble about this AU that is old but still lovely. If you guys have questions or wanna chat about the AU at all, my ask box is always open even if I am terrible at answering them. If I find anything else or think up anything, maybe I’ll post about it! But, for now, I hope you all enjoyed my sillies. I love everyone who set foot in this space and read what is still my most favorite fanfiction I've ever written. :)

[syluslnd]

Big fan here!! I'd love to read where MC is secretly writing a fic about Sylus. she accidentally left her screen open when she stepped out for a moment just to come back filled with horror seeing Sylus reading the screen. He proceeds to ask if the story was about him despite the male character being unnamed. He teases her about certain scenarios she was imagining.

Happy writing and cant wait ^^

ʚɞ⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺ ʚɞ

You walked back into the room, carrying a cup of tea, only to freeze in the doorway.

Sylus was sitting at your desk, his intense crimson eyes scanning the screen of your laptop. His posture was relaxed but there was an undeniable air of authority and curiosity in the way he held himself.

Your heart skipped a beat as your gaze flickered to the open document on the screen.

Your fanfic.

The one you’d been writing about him.

You hadn’t saved it properly and now it was sitting there in all its unpolished glory, an embarrassing reminder of the fantasies and scenarios you’d been daydreaming about and now, sylus—was reading it.

Oh no.

You tried to compose yourself but the horror in your eyes was probably impossible to hide. Sylus smirked, sensing your presence before even hearing you approach. Without looking away from the screen, he teased “Interesting read, sweetie.”

Your heart raced as you quickly walked over, trying to act casual, though your cheeks were already burning. “w-what are you doing?”

Sylus finally looked up, his eyes gleaming with a teasing light and you saw that smirk spread across his lips, dangerously amused.

“I didn’t realize you had such… vivid imagination” he purred, leaning back in the chair and crossing his arms. “I would have never guessed you fantasized about me like this.”

Your eyes widened. You couldn’t look at him. You couldn’t even respond. The words you’d written about him, for him were too intimate. Too personal.

You cursed yourself.

“Don’t look so embarrassed sweetheart “ Sylus continued, his voice smooth and taunting. “I know exactly what you’re thinking. You didn’t even have to mention my name for me to know the story was about me. The details give it away, darling.”

Your gaze snapped up to meet his and he was still smirking, clearly enjoying the fact that he had caught you in this vulnerable moment.

You took a step toward him, feeling the heat of embarrassment creep up your neck. “I didn’t—”

He stood up slowly, his eyes never leaving yours, and the intensity of his gaze made your breath catch in your throat. “You didn’t think I’d notice? No, darling” he said, stepping closer, his presence overwhelming. “Its almost like you wanted me to read this and now, I think we need to have a little chat about the fantasies you’ve written about me.”

You took a small step back, your pulse pounding. “What—what do you mean?”

Sylus didn’t answer at first. He just closed the distance between you and you could feel the heat radiating off his body, the control he exuded in every step. You were completely aware of how much power he had in that moment.

“Let me remind you what you’ve written” he started, his voice low and steady, dripping with dominance. “Pinned down. Helpless. Trapped by my Evol, unable to move. Teased, edged with until you can’t even speak… sounds pretty familiar, doesn’t it?”

Your stomach dropped as he came closer, each word from his lips like a sensation moving through you. The way he said it was mockingly soft, as though he was enjoying the power he had over you at this very moment.

You tried to hold your ground but you couldn’t help the way your heart raced. His presence was suffocating, and there was nowhere to run. You were entirely at his mercy.

“You know, darling” Sylus continued, stepping closer still until he was right in front of you, his voice low and silky, “It’s interesting to think that you’ve imagined me using my Evol to pin you down like that. To tease you. To make you beg for more.”

His hand reached up, his fingers lightly brushing your cheek. The light touch sent a shiver through your body, and you could feel the heat in your face intensifying.

“Did you think I wouldn’t notice?” he asked again, his voice an almost dangerous whisper now. “Did you think I wouldn’t realize just how much you enjoy the idea of being controlled by me?”

Your breath caught in your throat as Sylus stepped even closer, leaning down slightly, his lips brushing just above your ear. “You wrote about me using my Evol, darling. You wrote about how I’d fuck you until you couldn’t even think straight,until you were nothing but my human toilet,well I’m not just going to stand here and talk about it.”

Your body froze, realizing what was about to happen.

With a soft click of his tongue, Sylus snapped his fingers and just like that, his Evol was in control your body shifted to the bed all four of your limbs spread across the bed frames ,your body was locked in place unable to move as if his very presence had anchored you to the floor.

“You wanted this, didn’t you?” His voice was playful, but there was something darker lurking beneath the surface. “You wrote all of this. Now, I think it’s time you experienced it for yourself.”

You couldn’t move, couldn’t speak and every part of you screamed at the sheer dominance in the air. Sylus wasn’t just reading your fanfic anymore he was turning it into reality.

and you have no choice but to take it.

“You think you can just write about it and escape the consequences?” Sylus chuckled darkly, as his Evol continued to keep you in place. “I do enjoy a good story but now it’s my turn to write the next chapter.”

Your eyes widened but Sylus only smirked, knowing exactly how to push your limits. “Let’s see how well you handle it.”

and just like that, you realized you were now his story to control.

[halowishes]

january favs!

(first recs of the year!!!!)

ships: sakuatsu (if unspecified) ft. an oikage fic

six steps to a smile

e. 18.6k. 5+1 canon compliant.

5+1 of kiyoomi’s adorable pout leading to relationship milestones. i (unfortunately) can’t remember the last time i read a fic without even a little bit of angst. i feel like i never see friends to lovers skts! i do love tension but my heart swells at moments like “i’ll give you anything you want and you don’t even have to ask”. the sweetest boys ever.

the sakusa kiyoomi drunkness scale

m. 4.3k. canon established relationship.

atsumu meets six-drink kiyoomi. chaos ensues. such a lighthearted and short read about their relationship. i loved the little details of the characters and just how well they know each other. they’re so in love and it makes me sick (i treasure these guys).

shootin’ stars & satellites

e. 20.1k. third years skts.

itachiyama and inarizaki have a volleyball camp before their graduation!! this fic was a religious experience. i can’t describe how it made me feel. hilarious, beautifully written, sexy, gentle, and oh so tender. i honestly LOVE everything about this fic. expect this on my end of the year favs.

hold on, who’s got a boyfriend now? (yea right)

t. 9.3k. haikyu hospital.

resident cardiologist atsumu has a boyfriend! the rest of the hospital tries to find out who it is by creating a betting pool!!! this was extremely silly and light. i LIVE for gossip and i imagine hospital gossip is like the michelin star of work gossip. so (if i was there) you bet your ass i’d be betting!

daybreak

t. 8.1k. mid skip.

after a break up, kiyoomi decides to hike up mount fuji with surprise guest miya atsumu! i admire the idea of the u19 camp having a group chat and reunions together :’). also kiyoomi’s family running a tea business… it is so perfect for the rich kid hc. such a sweet and refreshing fic with some introspection!!

bane of my existence, object of my desires

e. 6.6k. regency era au.

messy skts who just can’t live without each other… you know i had to have it. in true skts fashion, this story was dramatic and chaotic and horny. but i mainly read this bc i loooove bridgerton so imagining them in their fancy suits and mansions scratched an itch in my brain.

high tides and sleepless nights

e. 71.8k. msby 4 go to the beach!

atsumu teaches kiyoomi how to swim so he can enjoy the beach <3 as someone who can’t swim, i find this plot so romantic. im gagged it took kiyoomi that long to realize the feelings between them were Real. but that just meant the ANGST was divine. (along with the characterization, dialogue, and happy ending). summer skts for the win!

go slowly with me

g. 5.6k. canon compliant slice of life.

ah yes, the joys and horrors of sharing your music taste with others. when the jackals bring a speaker to their post-practice cool downs, atsumu decided to curate an effortless playlist. along the way he learns kiyoomi listens to abba and that he wants to spend the rest of his life with him. tooth rotting fluff. dancing in the kitchen. they are domestic.

this is how you lose the time war

m. 15k. end of the world/ sci-fi au.

when kiyoomi wakes up on the last day before time loops itself, he somehow makes his way to his ex lover’s doorstep. god. i’m not ready to really think this one over (i lowkey read it in a haze), but it’s a wonder. this skts dynamic was intense, grand, and overpowering. snuzz is truly a wizard with her words.

such a constellation was he to me

e. 11.8k. canon universe.

two words: kiyoomi tattoos. two more words: body worship. truly, what more do you need? i love reading body worship because it just reminds me how special sex can be. it’s vulnerable and open and appreciating and so human. it’s nice to read a fic that highlights that. the tattoos & lore were just a bonus :P

ishigaki island, 2025 — oikage

e. 22.4k. forced proximity exes to lovers.

iwaizumi & ushijima wedding = oikage best men. only problem is they haven’t spoken in years since they broke up. and now they’re 4th wheeling on an island getaway with their best friends. i really loved this oikawa and characterizations, some classic tropes, and (more) sun!!!

[channiesunshinx]

𝑀𝓊𝓈𝑒

Day 1 of Jeongin's birthday week fanfics

Pairing: Jeongin x F!reader Genre: Slice of life, fluff, slow burn, romance, Idol!jeongin x Artist!reader, Idol x fan Warning: Romanticization of online relationships, potential power imbalance

One quiet evening, Y/N sat at her desk, putting the finishing touches on a commission. The soft glow of her desk lamp lit up the room, casting shadows over her scattered pencils and sketchbooks. As she leaned back to admire her work, her phone buzzed with a notification.

She glanced at the screen, her curiosity piqued when she noticed the message was from an unknown number. Hesitating for only a moment, she opened it.

Hi, I heard you take personalized requests?

The message was simple, but something about it made her sit up straighter.

Yes, I'm currently open for requests, she replied, her fingers lingering on the keyboard.

The response came quickly.

Is it possible for you to design a piece for this character?

Attached was a picture of FoxI.Ny, a fan-created character with a playful, almost enchanting aura. Y/N's lips curved into a smile as she studied the details. Something about the mischievous glint in the character's eyes sparked her creativity.

Sure! I can do that! Any specific requests for the design?

Not really. I trust your creativity.

Her heart gave a tiny flutter at the words. Trust wasn't something people offered so freely, especially in her line of work.

Alright! I’ll let you know when it's finished.

Excited, Y/N wasted no time, her pencil flying across the page. She imagined FoxI.Ny with a vibrant personality, a spark of mischief in its eyes, and a fluffy tail that seemed to curl with playful defiance. As she worked, she couldn’t help but wonder about the person behind the request. Were they a fellow fan? Someone who loved art as much as she did?

Hours later, she finally leaned back with a satisfied sigh. The sketch was perfect—full of life, personality, and charm. She snapped a quick photo and sent it to her mysterious client.

The sketch is complete! Let me know what you think.

The response came almost immediately.

Wow. This is incredible. You’re really talented. Thank you so much!

Y/N felt her cheeks warm at the compliment, a sense of pride bubbling up.

I'm glad you like it! Do let me know if there’s anything you’d like me to change.

No need—it's perfect.

The simple reply made her heart skip a beat. They exchanged a few more messages, chatting about the sketch and FoxI.Ny. Y/N found herself smiling at her phone more than she cared to admit, warmth spreading through her chest with every reply.

A few weeks later, Y/N stood in line at a Stray Kids fan meeting, her heart pounding in nervous anticipation. The room buzzed with energy as fans excitedly chatted about meeting their idols. In her bag was a collection of her best artwork, carefully chosen as gifts for the group. Among them was the FoxI.Ny sketch—a piece she'd decided to gift Jeongin.

When it was finally her turn, Y/N's heart felt like it might burst. She approached Jeongin, the youngest member of the group, her palms slightly sweaty as she reached into her bag. He greeted her with a shy but warm smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

“This is for you,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper as she handed him the drawing.

Jeongin's eyes widened as he took the sketch, his expression shifting from surprise to awe. “You made this?” he asked, his voice soft, almost reverent.

“Yes,” Y/N replied, her cheeks flushing under his gaze.

He studied the drawing for a long moment before looking up, his eyes meeting hers with a spark of recognition that made her breath hitch. “Thank you. It's… perfect.”

Something about the way he said it, the way he looked at her, felt different—almost as if he knew something she didn't. Y/N couldn't dwell on it, though, as the line of fans behind her nudged her to keep moving.

That evening, as Y/N curled up in bed, her phone buzzed with a notification. Her heart skipped when she saw it was from the same unknown number.

I saw you today.

Her fingers trembled as she typed back.

At the fan meeting? Were you there?

Yes. And I know who you are now.

A chill ran through her as she stared at the message.

What do you mean?

This time, the reply took longer. When it finally arrived, it made her breath catch.

It's me, Jeongin. I'm the one who asked for the FoxI.Ny sketch.

Y/N's hands shook as she read and reread the message. Was this a joke? But no—the way he'd reacted to the sketch at the fan meeting, the spark of recognition in his eyes… it all made sense now.

Jeongin… as in Stray Kids' Jeongin?

Yes. I really loved the sketch, by the way. You’re incredibly talented.

She stared at her screen, her mind racing. The Jeongin, her idol and the person she'd admired from afar, had been the one messaging her all this time?

I don't know what to say.

She typed, her thoughts a whirlwind.

You don't have to say anything. I just wanted you to know. And… I'd like to keep talking to you, if that's okay.

Her heart melted at the sincerity of his words.

Of course.

Their conversations became a constant in Y/N's life. Despite his fame, Jeongin was kind, thoughtful, and surprisingly down-to-earth. He asked her about her art, her favorite songs, and her daily activities. Y/N found herself opening up to him in ways she hadn't with anyone before.

One evening, after a long chat about their childhoods, Jeongin sent a message that made her pulse quicken.

Would you like to meet in person? Just the two of us?

Y/N stared at the screen, her heart racing. Was this really happening?

I'd love to, she replied, her cheeks flushing with a mix of excitement and nervousness.

When they met, it was at a quiet café far from the prying eyes of fans and cameras. Jeongin greeted her with the same shy smile she'd seen at the fan meeting, but this time, it felt more personal. They sat across from each other, the hum of the café fading into the background as they talked and laughed, their connection growing with every passing moment.

As the evening wore on, Jeongin leaned forward slightly, his gaze soft and unwavering.

“I never thought a simple sketch could lead to this,” he said, his voice low and warm. “But I'm so glad it did.”

Y/N's heart swelled, her cheeks burning under his gaze. “Me too,” she whispered, her lips curving into a smile.

When they finally said goodbye that night, Y/N couldn't shake the feeling that something extraordinary had begun—a connection that felt as natural as breathing, as inevitable as the turning of the stars.

And as she walked home, her heart light and full, Y/N realized that her sketch of FoxI.Ny had been the start of a story she never could have imagined—one that felt like it was only just beginning.

Taglist: @mihoonz, @toasty0703, @lplondynnwoo, @loxgirl2004

[sapphoscreature]

'The blade cuts both ways'

I interpret Caitlyn’s entire fight with Ambessa as both her atoning for her mistakes and taking on a punishment for them (something discussed in a great tiktok I linked here), but I really like this element at the end.

Ambessa uses Caitlyn’s own blade to carry out the symbolic blow to her eye.

Ambessa, the enemy who Caitlyn was ‘sidled up’ with as she lost sight of what was important in her need for revenge. The enemy who is much stronger physically than Caitlyn, who manipulated both sides of the conflict for her own ends.

Caitlyn cannot hold her off. And Ambessa, the character embodying Caitlyn’s reckoning with her poor choices, enacts the symbolic punishment. Caitlyn lost sight of what was important, and now an eye must be taken as both atonement and punishment (I think there’s a lot you could further interpret about it not being Caitlyn’s dominant shooting eye, i.e. the one which embodies precision and clear vision, and how this reflects her grappling with herself in act 2 until she does finally betray Ambessa).

There’s so much more I want to say about this entire fight which I might put in a separate post, but I think it’s a neat detail that this is Caitlyn’s own weapon doing the cutting. The weapon she had already used to get a hit on Ambessa, slicing her thigh, but which is used against her in the end, as her own grief and anger was (also fun to parallel with the fact that she was supposed to be executed by her beloved weapon- the rifle).

Caitlyn may have got a hit on Ambessa, but she hurt herself by working with her in the first place and now is hurt physically in this moment of reckoning- the blade cuts both ways.

But, as a final note, it’s important to also consider that Caitlyn also uses this moment as part of her atonement. She is able to outwit Ambessa, and her sacrifice allows her and Mel to finally take Ambessa down as she cuts the runes from Ambessa’s arm (pulling the dagger out of her own side to do so!!).

[chicago-geniza]

Putting a pin in this post to write the meta later about what I find interesting re: Daniel's racism on the show because I read it as a more nuanced intersection of casting choices and subtle scriptwriting where Daniel's dialogue is not often subtle (he's the blunt instrument of the Dubai trio). That is to say I don't think he's only there as the rude entitled white guy foil (although he is rude and entitled and racist).

In the books, Daniel Molloy is sandy-haired and violet-eyed; as I've said elsewhere, a magical girl, the fanfic Alexandria's Genesis trope. The show casts an Armenian man as Old Daniel and a Jewish man as Young Daniel; there is a somewhat ambivalent, historically contingent, and complicated relationship to whiteness here, one that Louis would be aware of, and one that the show leaves ambiguous in-text. But I think the casting does some "hermeneutic" work.

Louis is explicitly racialized from book to show, Armand is explicitly racialized from book to show--Daniel is still white, but they absolutely made a deliberate decision writing the role for Bogosian. The in-your-face confrontation, the bluster, the biting sarcasm--it's an "ethnic white" character-actor Type that goes against the grain of Anne Rice's pale blond violet-eyed boy.

When I have slept more I will come back and write about: The comments he makes to Armand-as-Rashid, Armand-as-himself, and Real Rashid. For now making note to self about: Asr namozi. "What is that, Kazakh? Somewhere in the Crimea?" He hears two words of Uzbek and knows enough to guess Kazakh, a related Central Asian Turkic language, and not only that, he knows that (Crimean) Tatar is another closely related Turkic language. His comments about Islam are also weirdly sectarianly specific. He'll take broad pot shots in front of others (Real Rashid, Louis, Dr. Bhansali), like the Shah Rukh Khan remark (which Armand smirks at; after the identity reveal), but when he's needling, especially needling Armand in private, it's not the oblivious racism of "the white audience stand-in" or whatever, it's something different. I need to rewatch and think about it more, but the casting choice + how he tries to get a rise out of Armand (and Rashid) about ethnicity/language/religion are doing something more...hm, detailed? Particular? re: race (& racism) than I've necessarily seen discussed