#i need to stop writing essays in tags

[saltyowlets]

Alt text:

Vivienne is not pro-templar as many would think. She is just using the resources she has in hand in order to work with a system that would rather throw her and the rest of the mages into an inescapable pit. Vivienne's insistence of using the templars is indicative of her awareness of the dangers of magic but she has made it clear that as much as magic serves man, templars serves mages as protectors. She does not trust templars as much as the average mage but knows that there is no easy solution to the weak Veil and the lack of protection the mage rebellion has brought upon other Circle mages. Vivienne does not hate or look down upon other mages as her efforts are clearly to support the mages if she is made Divine. Additionally, her quest was initially supposed to be about collecting phylacteries in order to keep mages safe from templars and mage hunters. She cares about mages enough to chain the templars and if you have a good relationship with her, allow the College to exist.

[shepscapades]

shep. i finished xisuma's s8. i am plagued with so many thoughts /silly

Oh my gognfjgmgimfggfmgnmfdnffgh it’s. It’s so much. I have so much to say and so many thoughts they make me so crazy. They make me so crazy THEY MAKE ME SO CRAZY IS THIS THING ON CAN ANYONE HEAR ME

[presiding]

high chaos/low chaos/join the chaos in my dishonored 2 rewrite

[vanityangel]

"Jacob Fatu is what WWE always wanted Solo Sikoa to be." The same 5 songs. The same 5 songs. Wrestling fans, they play the same 5 fucking songs. Anyway, this is my incredibly long-winded rant about wrestling fans and Solo Sikoa's character.

To me, I think if Solo Sikoa was presented just like Jacob Fatu is now it would make zero fucking sense to his character. Even, or especially, to the parts they haven't really touched on much yet. Jacob is immediately presented to us as cold, emotionless (except like. anger.), a monster incapable of morals. He tears apart whatever stands before him without thought, just destruction in its purest form. As though this is just who he is and how he always has been. Solo wasn't always completely cold and merciless, not in NXT and not when he first joined The Bloodline. He was very closed off, but he was still human. There was still warmth to him. He still gave respect to his peers who he felt earned it, laughed and joked, he made friends or at least allies he was willing to trust enough to team up with. Solo wasn't a lost soul. He slowly became more "emotionless" in time after joining The Bloodline. The more he was left alone around Roman. And big notable moment of shift in his demeanor is when Sami left. Even when Jey at the time HATED Sami and Roman was still demanding him to prove his trust, Solo took to this weird little guy anyway. They became an odd couple pair. If Solo was always presented like Jacob, his progression into becoming so frustrated at Roman that he started to raise his voice and yell at him would have been nothing worth noting. Solo was quiet, Solo was calm. Solo operated like a machine; he took orders with seeming no regard to his own feelings on the matter and thus no expected pushback. Jacob is so like a ticking timebomb with everyone always on edge when he will explode. So chaotic and dangerous that even when he displays undying loyalty people expect him to pushback at any order at any given moment. Unhinged and unable to be leashed. Jacob is reactive. Solo was not. As Roman's enforcer, if Solo ever did seem to have his own opinion on something, he would look thoughtful and considering but kept it to himself. He has started off more vocal in the beginning, carrying into when he joined The Bloodline, but over time he retreated into a shell. He said nothing more than what was needed to be said. Despite being a family outcast Solo was brought to the main roster by the Elders orders, then acknowledged Roman without hesitation. Even when he propped himself as Tribal Chief he stated he would acknowledge Roman as the rightful Chief if he were to take the Ula Fala back, as if Roman had to earn it. Though where Solo's loyalty lies is always unclear, a loyalty no one can return in kind to him, he still seems to have his own idea of being loyal and earned respect. A system he believes. And Solo still has a vulnerability to him, one he even weaponizes. For Jacob's very debut Solo fell to the ground, pleading, eyes wide and doe-like enough to create pause before breaking into a maniacal laughter. Even talking about how the streets hardened him in his early NXT promos he had a vulnerability. A "hurt people hurt people" type who still seemed stung at being left behind and going forward is trying to prove his worth, that he does have value, to the very people who discarded him. He can bring gold to the family, he can keep them at the top no matter the sacrifice. What's best for the family above self. Jacob is unpredictable because no one knows what will set him off. Solo is unpredictable because no one knows which face is sincere. Solo and Jacob are not interchangeable.

[remnantofstars]

I've been reading and watching more British shows/books lately and I think you guys will be noticing this in my writing. Besides the fancy words that are once again back in my vocabulary, there's also more Britishness!! Objectively funny concidering it was supposed to have more Britishness from the start. And well. Tom being Tom.

[rarepairnation]

do you think faramir ever found out about gandalf’s part in denethor’s death. oh yes i do think he had a part in it. i think he knew him too long to not know the effect of what he said. i’m generally very enamored by the concept of the gandalf faramir wizard-pupil relationship being very close so just a blanket disclosure that that is the theory i am operating from but like…no matter how much he cares for and trusts gandalf. it was his father he cried out for at the end. and everyone tries to keep the specifics of what happened in the house of the stewards at the end from him but i mean, he is who he is. if he sits beregond or pippin down and very seriously says to them i will not have you keep secrets from me any longer, even if it is for my own sake. i mean it is over for them. i just think that it would take him a certain amount of time to process through how he feels about all of it at all and eventually he comes down solidly on the side of being absolutely incandescently angry. which is an emotion he has never ever directed towards gandalf and i don't think either of them come out of the confrontation particularly well at all.

i mean its so complicated because faramir cannot tell if what he's feeling is grief at all and in there is also a certain amount of guilt for feeling. relieved? freed? by the absence of that presence at the same time as there is an enormous gaping hole in the middle of his life. a part of his foundation has been torn out and people address him as lord steward and the tower guard salutes him as he goes by and he thinks that isn't me that should never have been me. and i think maybe he thinks i would have traded any amount of scorn for having him back. and when he finds out that gandalf was there, that he stood by and watched - no, he may as well have lit the pyre himself - no, it is neither, but the point is that he did nothing to stop it. he did nothing to stop it and by doing that he has robbed faramir of any choice in reconciling - OR CHOOSING NOT TO - with his father because his father is dead and he will never know how he would have loved him without the war. it IS his father's own fault but he cannot blame him for it. not when he knows precisely how he got there and precisely why he made the choices he did. and of course it is the fault of the war but he cannot shout at the war and the war is gone and over and they have won but faramir is not feeling victorious in the least and gandalf is Right There and he is Someone To Blame.

gandalf does not want to tell him what he said, at the end. but faramir makes him, or perhaps is he so angry that he takes it by force - for a moment he is the very image of his father and his mind is the same keen lance that denethor's had always been - and he should not be able to but perhaps gandalf lets him - if faramir takes it then he does not need to be responsible for needing to tell him. and faramir goes very still and quiet and terribly, terribly coldly he says you should never have taken me from him and gandalf says you do not understand he would have burned you with him and he says maybe you should have let him. and he says i would always have died for him. and he says perhaps it is you that does not understand.

i don't know how much of it he means. i don't know how he reconciles all this with his very real love for gandalf (perhaps easily. after all, he has spent a very long time knowing love as a double-edged blade). i don't know if he ever completely forgives him (it is always a scar, even if he does). but. just thinking about it.

[theokusgallery]

What do you think about middle aged sunflower ????

Okay I'm going to pretend I'm normal and didn't just have a conversation about it yesterday within which I had to restrict myself because of Discord's stupid character limit

Anyway. Gonna talk about fanfics briefly, because fics tend to get more complex with characterization.

A while ago, I got really into Marvel, and for two months I did nearly nothing except read spideypool fanfic all day and night. If you know anything about these two (that isn't from the MCU) (I hate the MCU, I hate it so so much, this is not who Spidey fundamentally is, he is supposed to be a friendly neighborhood loner loser and you Cannot just give him an Iron Man suit and a mentorship with Stark and intergalactic missions at 16 or however old he is in those movies when the essence of the character is that he is an average struggling teenager who just happens to get superpowers and fucks up a lot at the beginning of his journey and mostly works alone and quit the fucking Avengers himself) (wow I started rambling sorry. Ignore that), you'll know that they are both around... 25-30ish, currently. Something like that. The only other fandom that I read as many fanfics of was Ace Attorney, where depending on the timeline, they can be from 23 to like, 35 with a kid. So I'd say me being so invested in a ship with 16 year-olds is... kind of an anomaly.

I don't usually like the coming-of-age, teenage love stuff, and I honestly have never found a single sunflower schoolfic I liked (except Spiral of course but even then they're in college) because all of them tend to... infantilize both Sunny and Basil at great length. And also tear down anything that makes them interesting characters. I think a lot of OMORI artists (that includes writers) are very afraid of doing anything substantial with teenagers, despite, you know, the actual plot of the game, and as a result, a lot of the time most fics where the characters aren't aged up tend to be... incredibly boring. Of course there are some that are good — exceptional even — but in the end all I can think of is the huge gap in... quality? that sounds wrong to say about a creative thing... interesting-ness, let's say (a very personal and subjective concept), when I stopped reading Marvel and went back to OMORI. I stopped reading fanfics altogether because I just couldn't find one I liked as much as the average Marvel fic that I hadn't already read.

Maybe it's a result of the writers themselves being young? I know OMORI's fanbase is generally a lot younger than Marvel's, so that could affect it. I mentioned schoolfics because there's a lot of them and because they were mentioned in my rant yesterday, but it's not really about the fact that they're schoolfics, it's about the fact that more often than not, the setting is the plot, and since it's just your average highschooler writing their favorite blorbos into their own environment and projecting (which is very cool btw, 99% of my own writing is projecting), the plot is... basically nonexistant. It's boring. It's boring and the characterization is usually dull. But even outside of schoolfics, I think I stopped trying to read fics that start with Sunny getting out of the hospital after the True Ending for the same reason : it's often plain and plotless and boring. And, fuck, my favorite books and mangas and such are slice of life, I'm all for mundane plots! But there's a difference between a mundane plot/realism and just no plot at all.

(This is not, like, an attack of OMORI writers who make schoolfics or fics that start with the above mentioned premise, btw, I want to make that very clear. It's very much a personal preference. I think it's boring because all of the fics I read in Marvel had a very unique plot/premise is my point. And also because the characters were a lot more mature and complex. Different strokes for different folks)

I think that's what I'm kind of sad about. OMORI characters tend to be complex and morally grey in their own way, and people tend to forget about that because they're teenagers and obviously no one can do no wrong before the ripe age of 18. Children are all innocent and therefore cannot be more morally complex than cinnamon roll soft boys/girls (looking pointedly at Sunny, Aubrey and Basil. But mostly Basil). Also, I think people tend to straight-up forget that 16 year-olds aren't, like, 10? Of course they're not going to be as mature as grown adults, especially Sunny OMORI, Dissociative Amnesia World Champion, but like... When I was 16 reading OMORI fanfics, half the time I was like "a 16 year-old would not fucking say that". But also generally more mature characters are inevitably more interesting to explore to me because I prefer more mature themes — I'm simply extremely upset at the fact that people don't explore the complexity that's already there when they're 16, including the very mature themes that are already there.

TL;DR: I love middle aged sunflower, I love middle aged ships in general ! In fact, I will tend to prefer sunflower when it's aged up.

(... I probably should've led with that.)

[hannibal-is-my-comfort-show]

Me at a party, trying to think of an icebreaker: So if you had to die, how would you wanna go?

[thawthebeez]

hey guys. tumblr user thawthebeez back at it again with yet another haikyuu essay B) the topic of today is one that i see NOBODY talking about which is crazy because this motif is (in my opinion) one of the main foundations of the kagehina community.

now may someone please explain to me why the HELL nobody ever talks about how whenever Tobio expresses an insecurity of ANY KIND, Hinata is ALWAYS the first one to swoop in and tell him not to worry about it?

yes, we've all established that Hinata Shouyou is the #1 Kageyama Tobio understander. we get that. BUT THIS IS ONE OF THE MAIN DISPLAYS OF THAT AND I'VE SEEN LITERALLY NOBODY SPEAK OF IT EVER.

i'm pretty sure there's an instance of it in season 2 (either that or my brain just made it up) when Tobio is a little worried about his and Hinata's quick attack not really working out but Hinata tells him "nah you'll figure it out eventually" or something along those lines. i'm not going to lose my shit over it because i can't find it but if you know YOU KNOW.

a part that i COULD find from season 2, however, was this:

here we have Tobio explaining how talented of a setter Oikawa is- how he's so much better than him- and it's clear that this is something he's insecure about given his facial expression.

THEN we have Hinata's INSTANT response:

and it blows Tobio away because WHAT

because, to paraphrase a little, Tobio basically just said "yeah oikawa can make any spiker look good no matter what team he's on" to which Hinata replied "yeah but that team wouldn't be Karasuno" which is essentially "Karasuno is strong enough as it is" BUT- if ur crazy- " dw he wouldn't take your spot babe" (<- which probably isn't how it's meant to be interpreted because they just finished talking about The Team That's Stronger As Six thing so like... context clues. it's probably not the insane interpretation).

ANYWAYS boom there it is. Tobio expresses insecurity, Shouyou swoops in and goes "Ermmmm Actuallyyyyy🤓" WHICH IS SO FUCKING ENDEARING ON IT'S OWN BUT THE FACT THAT IT HAPPENS MORE THAN ONCE AND AT SUCH A CRITICAL POINT TOO

the critical point in question being:

(context: Tobio just came back from his training camp in Tokyo and is a little frustrated because he's gotten so used to playing with other prodigies like himself so to go back to talented-but-not-prodigious players is a bit of a switch for him. don't get him wrong tho he loves this team to DEATH it's just a little different that's all. hashtag number one Tobio apologist right here)

SO THERE'S THIS! and it goes without saying that Tobio is DEEPLY insecure about his late middle-school days and being referred to as a king. Tsukishima adds a little salt to the wound and while I didn't take a screenshot of it Tobio makes this look of absolute HORROR after he says what he says

(which, side note, shows a lot of a character development within Tobio. especially since I've been flipping between season 2 and 4 a lot looking for these clips. Tobio didn't even notice when he was acting kingly before but he realizes it INSTANTLY now which is so so so good for him yayyyy character development!)

this also leads fantastically into my next tangent which is

TOBIO FUCKING APOLOGIZES!

now, admittedly this isn't entirely related to my thesis but i absolutely ADORE talking about this scene and i genuinely think it is one of the most prevalent displays of character development within Tobio because i feel like he tends to get overshadowed by all the other characters (especially Hinata, which i'm not upset about in the slightest like it makes perfect sense and if Tobio got all the attention all the time the show would be soooo unbalanced)

but I feel like a lot of people skip over Tobio's overall development over the course of the show. I mean compare s1 Tobio to s4 Tobio THAT IS NOT SAME PERSON ANYMORE. he grows so much over such a short period of time (which is another essay I could write. something along the lines of "Explaining Why Tobio And Shouyou Need To Be On Separate Teams Actually Because Character Development Purposes" because the amount of people i've seen on tiktok complaining about kghn being on separate teams and how they should just be on the same team forever makes my blood boil violently) and it's so refreshing to see Tobio's growth especially as a big Tobio enjoyer.

ANYWAYS back to the main thesis.

So Hinata steps in IMMEDIATELY here. literally cuts Tobio's apology off because HE HAS NOTHING TO APOLOGIZE FOR. he was expressing his thoughts whatever that's fine he could have done it in a nicer way SURE but listen the guy still has a LOOOONNNGGGG way to go but still, nothing to apologize for. it's just growing pains, y'know?

now the quote "What's wrong with him being the King again?" appearing here isn't the first time we're seeing this. Hinata has ALWAYS been confused as to why calling Tobio a "King" is a bad thing. literally from day fucking one Hinata was like "nah dude I think that title is cool" WHICH, AGAIN, TOBIO BEING INSECURE ABOUT SOMETHING AND SHOUYOU REASSURING HIM THAT IT'S TOTALLY CHILL HELLO?????

LITERALLY FROM DAY ONE SHOUYOU HAS BEEN DOING THIS. THAT MAN MAY THINK TOBIO'S AN ASSHOLE SOMETIMES (and he kinda is) BUT NEVER WILL HINATA INHERENTLY HATE A PART OF HIM. and i don't think they realize it here nor do i think the realization comes soon after but at some point there will be the realization that they love each other. every single part. fucking Tobio probably realized it way back in junior high but that's a tangent for another time.

now this line.... this one right here...... oh my god i can be SO NORMAL ABOUT IT.

the main reason why Tobio had this look of HORROR on his face after he yelled at everyone was BECAUSE HE KNEW THE ENDING. he knew that yelling at them would have consequences (if it weren't for Hinata stepping in thank god). HE'S SEEN IT ALL BEFORE. in his final year of junior high he yelled at his teammates to run faster and jump higher and be better AND THEY LEFT HIM!!!

so Tobio yelling like this instantly makes him afraid that he's just ruined the entire balance of the team. he thinks he's going to be left behind again because he yelled and everyone is going to leave him BUT!!!!!

BUT SHOUYOU IMMEDIATELY JUMPS IN AND SAYS "idc what u say honestly if i don't like i'm just not gonna listen" OR, TO TRANSLATE "i'm not going anywhere regardless of what you say"

Tobio's biggest fear is losing this team. I literally do not need to explain why. that man would fucking DIE for this team (if you really need an explanation just to go the end of the Kamomedai match when Tobio admits that he's upset they lost because he wanted to play with that specific team more).

and for Hinata to essentially say "you could literally be as kingly as u want and i simply would not care, pal, i promise you i am NOT going ANYWHERE!!!" which has got to be SO FUCKING RELIEVING FOR TOBIO.

(also something something "nobody was there" / "i'm here" something something "doesn't matter what kind of toss goes up if you send it my way i'm hitting it" something something they're soulmates or whatever they are literally bound together by the universe they were destined to be together and it's a crime that universe kept them apart for so long and now that they're together they will always BE together two peas in a pod literally inseparable they are hot glued and duct taped together.)

and then there's this. i mean at this point you already know what i'm going to say like you get it by now but again IT MUST BE SO RELIEVING TO TOBIO to know that shouyou thinks his biggest insecurity is cool. that shouyou thinks that it's not something to be concerned about. that no matter what, no matter how much a King he is, they're not going anywhere.

SOMETHING SOMETHING "you drew stars around my scars" IF YOU EVEN CARE

and just the fact that it's always ALWAYS shouyou to do this. the fact that there was dead silence before shouyou spoke up. the fact that it's ALWAYS HIM there to understand Tobio (someone who has been misunderstood for as long as he can remember) GOD THEY DRIVE ME INSANE.

anyways thank you for being a witness to this madness👍

[bonestrouslingbones]

now realizing that i haven't seen an edgepuff fic any longer than a oneshot since fucking. 2022. and not even a oneshot since 2023. god.

[crowleys-bentley-and-plants]

Am i gonna use the heisenberg uncertainty principle in my anthropology essay in which i need to refer back to my own discipline which happens to be the exact opposite of quantum physics? You bet i am

[filthyjanuary]

these people are actually on crack cocaine

[ace-with--a-mace]

i hate peer reviews so much

[riddlerosehearts]

made a small personal edit to a piercing mod (changed one pair of earrings into a single earring and then changed the stone color) and... yeah i think i really like this:

gale decides to leave his earring at the foot of mystra's statue after the confrontation at stormshore tabernacle, as a small form of catharsis for himself after having defied his goddess and ex-lover. elenion doesn't press him about it because they know how difficult this all must be for him, and they've got so many other things to worry about anyway. sometime not too long before their wedding date gale tells elenion he wants to get a new earring to represent a new chapter in his life (and also because he keeps trying to stim by dangling his earring and forgetting it's not there anymore) and elenion takes gale to their favorite jewelry shop so he can pick out something nice. gale goes in with nothing specific in mind but an earring resembling a gold sun catches his eye and he chooses it to go with his husband-to-be's favorite pair of silver moon earrings. that's the headcanon i've decided on!

[theinkchild]

alright fine, making a silly post here since im dissapointed in engagment lol.

text ahoy ahead, for those of you who have forgotten what GD rambling looks like, since my blog postings are more and more rare these days...

and no. i refuse to use a readmore. this post should be shortened automatically for those on the dash, mobile, whatever. if not, SCREW it. i only have a few mins. one shot to ramble and i refuse to edit. will just spill my guts. BLEGH.

🔥🔥🔥 final warning long emotional post entry start 🔥🔥🔥

well to start off, yea i've been "on a break" since May. by break, i wanna define it as, changing my routine, doing something good for me that will benefit me, reflecting back on the stuff i did when i wasn't on it.

"a break" doesn't really matter here. i've been disegnaged. it's really hard for me to interact on here when i've treated this place like a grey area. it's the same for many places that don't feel like they're benefitting my growth atm. this place STILL holds alot of meaning to me, for being the 2nd platform i took root in, and started friendships (or also rather continued them) on.

i slowed down once i realized how the familiar craziness sunk too deep with me, and I've regretted some attitudes i've had in the past where i'd scream maniacally at nothing to earn not much back. like, i wasn't really getting it. and at the same time, i refused to do what i should have to make it more possible.

this time really mattered.

the growth i experienced while i was disengaged from here was quite a bit. i feel like i regained a part of me i always had latent, and didn't when i was with the wrong crowd, doing the same meaningless things day in and out.

when i was engaged in conversations that had more meaning, something back to give rather than a shallow laugh, everything started to click.

when i hung out with a different crowd not formed primarily by the friends i made here, i felt like i couldn't break away, but in a sense i saw something that i missed having... i saw the same journey i was taking but from more experienced folks.

when it came to a breaking point recently when someone deeply rooted in that community fell off, i took charge. i wanted to END the torment he casually brought to everyone. i ended up doing just that, and leaving everyone in that community with the best outcome.

NOW, i say this on my silly little blog cuz i doubt anyone in either group is listening. the chances are non zero, but i'm honestly happy if at least one person is listening, even if it's a stranger, or quiet long time fan of mine. i've been so disengaged here that i'm really just writing this for myself, like i always have been.

this place, where i feel like i lost some folks and may have even outright refused to make or advance any friendships just cuz i rejected plain invites to do so.. i could've done anything...

instead, i ended up sticking up for someone who needed it the most. everything just lined up for the both of us. all the STUPID drama from stupid misunderstandings, the grievances, the small issues, that all added up to the moment we had to do the right thing. all because even if the world gave up on us, we somehow didn't give up, even if both of us had to be repeatidly brought back to reality when we almost both ended ours on separate instances.

we helped eachother with the little freedom we had left.

we ENDED something that had to be ended and gave everyone the full happiness they deserved for all those years they didn't have it.

that, as insignificant as it is to literally 99% of the population, and fuck it, who the fuck cares if you were my old friend who hardly cared. idk bro. kindly fuck off if you are. i'm still somehow following you ._.

but, it's very very significant to me and all the friends i still regularly interact with. they mean the world to me, and i'm happy THEY saw me grow.

i will continue. to keep doing what i do best.

and i refuse to die or back down or abandon my blog, despite all the grievances i had in the past with it.

i'm just making a deeper mark on this world the more i prove i exist and continue to be a survivor.

even if my self esteem is bad on some days. even if my will isn't even as strong as a worm left to fry on asphalt.

i refuse to go on quietly.

and i'm stronger now because i refuse to be as bad as the people who treated me far worse. i finally gained some sense and standards.

and if you don't think that's crazy, then idk man enjoy your life. i'm gonna keep continue living mine lol

[zukkaoru]

as much as it emotionally destroyed me, i do have to say those last two pages of bsd 109 are like. the perfect cliffhanger. and i'm kind of super glad bsd releases monthly rather than weekly so it can actually hold the weight it was given