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corishadowfang · 6 months ago

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How do you generally plan out your fics? Because Fallen Stars seems to incredibly well planned I want to attempt to write something that is just as intricate 😂

Ooooh, man, I'm not sure how good my planning actually is (I say, staring at my many, many outline documents), but I'll explain things as well as I can? And hopefully at least some of it'll be useful.

(General writing advice disclaimer: What works for me might not work for everyone, so take everything with a grain of salt, and feel free to toss out anything that you don't like, haha.)

I...think I'll break this down into stages, maybe? Just to hopefully keep things more organized. (And also throw this under a cut, since I have a feeling this'll get long...)

Pre-Planning

So, uh...everything is very freeform to start off with, haha. The earliest stages are less, "What would make a good story?" and more, "What's fun about this concept?" So there's not a lot of structure to this part! I might write pages and pages of worldbuilding; I might just tinker around with a punch of different scenarios in my head; I might write snippets of concepts that I think would be fun--whatever! I tend to do this for a couple of reasons:

There are a lot of times where I get struck with an idea when I'm already working on a big project, so like...I don't really have a lot of time to actually plan out a story right at that moment, haha. So it goes on the backburner to marinate for a little while!

It kind of lets me figure out if this is something I'd actually like to write, or just something I'd like to play around with in my head.

Even with fanfic (which is generally a low-stress hobby), I can still sometimes...kind of get into "perfectionist" mode. Just messing around with things, focusing purely on what I find fun without worrying about whether it works narratively, with no expectation that I have to write the story, kind of gives me the freedom to figure out what I actually like about the idea and really hone into that. It helps fuel excitement for the project if I do decide to write it, and can give me a lot of cool ideas that I might not have given myself the freedom to think of otherwise!

Planning

So there's...no real timeline for anything, aha. Usually at some point, something will click over, and I'll go, "Yeah, okay, I do really, really want to write this story." At which point, I start taking some of the random ideas I have and trying to get them a bit more organized. This usually ends up being broken down into three broad categories.

The Characters

This is probably the biggest thing in regards to actually developing the story. Before writing, I generally like to have at least some basics down:

What is the character like at the beginning of the story, and why?

What sorts of things have caused them the most problems, and what would it take for them to resolve those problems?

What is the end goal for them in the story? (Do they get better? Worse? Learn how to live with the hand they've been dealt?)

What sorts of things would need to happen to get them to that point?

The main character(s)' arcs generally affect the direction the story goes in--essentially, I'll tailor events around what would help to push them toward their arc's end (ideally, with some interesting emotional conflicts for them to grapple with)--so I want to at least have a pretty solid idea of the main characters' overall arcs before I begin writing.

Uh, I guess just for an example, here's some of my early notes on Skuld and Brain for Fallen Stars:

Skuld: She’s still…she’s still reeling a little. She hasn’t stopped to examine what the end meant for her, but she’s grieving the loss of her home, of people close to her, and she’s…in a lot of ways, Scala feels alien. She wants to stay here, but she doesn’t, because it’s not home. She’s also…just very tired of being in a position of authority that she doesn’t feel prepared for. She was put into the position of Union Leader, and with her friends, she managed that fine, but now she…well, she’s tired. She wants to be a kid again. She wants someone else to worry about the world, and she’s angry over the fact that her childhood was basically stolen from her and that she’s been put into this position she didn’t want. She’s angry because a part of her feels like if she hadn’t been put in charge, maybe she would’ve been able to make the most of her time with her friends. (She also has very complicated feelings about Scala in general. She wants to stay, but she also wants to leave. It’s hard. Mostly what she wants is just to run away for a while and not have to deal with any of this. She’s tired.) Brain: The boy basically repressed all of his feelings about the end, but they’re all coming back baby. As usual, he threw himself into his work—and now he’s throwing himself into this, too, working himself to the bone because the sooner he can find the others, the sooner he can stop grieving them. (He’s totally fine! No trauma at all, definitely.) That said, he’s also tired. He feels extra responsible for the end of the world because he had the Book of Prophecies; he’s trying not to think about it, but it’s the reason he won’t ask for Master’s Defender again. He thinks he doesn’t deserve it. He has complicated feelings about Scala, too, but tries to hide them a lot. He also…he’s not quite as set on the ability to change fate anymore. After his failure, he doesn’t really feel like it’s possible, so mostly he just wants to leave and spend time with his friends; worry about the things he can control. (Skuld and him fight over it later, I think; probably after they find the Book of Prophecies and learn about Darkness.)

The World

I...quite often go overboard with worldbuilding, haha. It's a lot of fun! That said, a lot of worldbuilding ends up popping up organically during writing, too.

Before I start, though, I at least like to know the basics. I find it helps to like...sit down and go, "Okay, what sorts of things might trip me up when writing if I don't know them?" If all else fails, I'll usually take the time to sit down and think about:

Basic culture and how the society functions. What sorts of things are important to this society? What sorts of myths do they tell? How do they interact with other societies? Do they have trade? What's their governing system like? Things like that.

What sort of history does the world have? This can be very basic, but a couple of small notes can still help inform what it's like.

If there's magic--how does it function? Are there any consequences or limitations? What lets people use it?

If there are important non-human characters or creatures: how do they work? What's their basic biology like? How do they intersect with society?

For Fallen Stars, I ended up:

Determining some very basic stuff about how Scala functioned--essentially, stuff like, "They have a lot of trade," and, "they're run by a council," and, "because of the Keyblade wielder thing, they have a lot of stories focused around light/darkness."

Creating a very basic breakdown of the council--who was one it and what the individual roles did.

Getting a basic idea of what Ephemer's family's role in the society was (both previously, and in the current day).

Building up some ideas about legends--specifically, ones about the Union Leaders, and how Scalans would think about them in the modern day.

The Plot

The plot is...probably the least fleshed-out of the three, aha--for me, at least. That's because, no matter how much planning I do, the story almost always goes off the rails eventually. (Sometimes as soon as the first chapter, depending on what the characters do...)

That said, I do like to at least make sure I know two or three key things about it. Generally, these are either a) a major plot twist, or b) a major event. I generally call these "pillar points"; essentially, these will be spaced out across the story, and are the things that I'm working toward. Unlike a lot of the finer details of the story, these remain relatively stable; they're what help me stay on track, even if how we get there ends up changing.

Fallen Stars ended up having three pillar points:

Brain exploring the abandoned town and finding out about Darkness.

The whole crew going to confront Darkness, with Darkness appearing fully for the first time.

The end of chapter 39 all the way through the end of chapter 41. (Which...I can't explain exactly what some of those points are yet because of spoilers, aha.)

The pillar points are the main things, but I will sometimes do a brief outline or summary of the story--just with the knowledge that the details may change later.

Writing

And...after that, I'll usually start writing! That said, I still, like...adjust things as I work, haha. A big thing I'll do while writing is to like...think about the specific purpose of each chapter? Like, what sorts of character and plot points do I want to hit to move things along, etc. Sometimes I'll build out a general outline of chapters between the beginning and the first pillar point, then between one pillar point and another, etc. These are all really flexible, haha, but they can at least help get me thinking about what needs to happen.

And, uh...I think that covers the basics? (Don't look at the size of this post, it's fine--) Hopefully that's at least somewhat helpful--even if it's just to kickstart ideas for your writing process, haha! Good luck, and I hope you have fun with your story!

#writing tips #fallen stars #thanks for the ask!!#uh. sorry this is so long aha

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horsegirlwarcrimes · 8 months ago

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bury's tips to ACTUALLY combat writer's block

a lot of the time when you hear writers talk about writers block and what you can do to fight it, the advice that you hear is 'just write'

i took this to be true for a long time, and it's not the worst advice or whatever. at the end of the day anything you want to get done w writing does need to be solved by simply writing. but it took me until i was writing much more regularly to realize that actually thats nonsense

there are totally things you can do to help w writers block! ive been experiencing a bout of it recently, so i thought id share some tips partially to help out those who might read this, and partially to help myself out of that same slump

FEEDING THE MACHINE. in my experience, a lot of the time writers block is less of a blockage getting in the way of a flow of creativity and more like a machine running out of fuel. thoughts, ideas, and emotions CAN come from nowhere, but... usually they are coming from somewhere! i get my worst writers block when i am bored, under-stimulated, or stuck in my real life. try getting out into the world and doing something you don't usually do. this can be wild and exciting, or small and plain. take a different route home than usual, go for a drive somewhere cool, take yourself to a garden, bookstore, museum. if you're stuck at home try a new hobby; draw a weird picture, bake something, bird watch. this is really my top advice for myself at least, and something i have to remind myself when im despairing my own worth and dedication as a writer. you cant pour from an empty cup! you cant make something out of nothing! theres no point scraping yourself dry without trying to fill yourself back up.

FEEDING THE MACHINE... DIFFERENTLY. same principal applies here, but with what stories you are consuming. what actually got me to start writing and posting fic regularly was starting work in publishing that meant i was reading 1-2 books/manuscripts every day. they were often outside my usual reading genres, and sometimes i genuinely hated them... but they were food for the machine. the brain doesn't care if you like books about cows, the brain cares about variety and expanding its horizons. read something new and interesting! try a classic. try getting into queer classics you've never heard of if you're tired of old white men. read a murder mystery or a biography of a cool person or the history of the romance novel or frued's melancholia. try that new fantasy novel youve heard good things about. even if you only end up reading three chapters, thats still something new youre giving your brain. documentaries are also great for this if you're not feeling a new book; sit back and learn something.

CLEAN UP YOUR ENCLOSURE. humans feel yucky when we're in a yucky environment. cleaning is often exhausting and annoying and it sucks, but so is sitting in an environment that makes you feel bad. try clearing off your desk or table. set something nice you like nearby! choose a sunny spot to work in.

TALK YOUR IDEAS OUT. i really struggle with this one, because i dont like bothering people and im really embarrassed about my ideas, especially in the planning stage. it can really help though! try talking to yourself in the shower like you're being interviewed about your work. try going on some chat site, find a stranger to talk to, and infodump until they leave (or stay and you've made a new friend!). ask around for someone who wants to chat ideas; you can share yours, they can share theirs. if you have a loved one who would listen, ask if they would sit down for 45 minutes and let you talk.

LIMIT DISTRACTIONS. this one also sucks but yknow. turn on forest: stay focused. close discord. ask your dog politely to stop barking. get off tumblr and stop writing advice posts about writers block. turn on some ambient music and rain noises or chappell roan's red wine supernova on loop.

may add to this later as i think of others, but the point here is that writer's block isn't laziness and, even if you do in the end just need to write, there are ways to uplift yourself and make doing so more pleasant. these also dont fully apply to what i think the actual cause is of what we often call 'writer's block,' which is just exhaustion and lack of free time; i wouldn't consider that in itself writer's block. these tips are more for when you have that time, or you're making it, but you just cant seem to make it happen.

#“but bury these also sound like tips to combat depression!”#yes.#guy who is currently job hunting and has no money to go do things o(╥﹏╥)o #must remind myself its normal to struggle for inspiration when every day is just. wake up. worry about finding job. try to find job.#clean something. go on tumblr. go on discord. read some fanfic. sleep #no that sucks the brain needs flowers and fun and sunshine to thrive #buryspeaks.mp3 #a lot in this case #writing advice #writers block #writing #fic writing #fandom #fic writers

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butterysalt · 2 years ago

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🌿✨🎀🎀 (that's right TWO compliments, and here's one from me too bc you deserve them all: i love the way your fics feel like they take place in a universe full of life and detail even around the main characters or events. even the shorter ones still feel like you have a detailed picture of who the characters are and what parts of them you want to portray or focus on, and it makes reading that much smoother and more immersive!)

OH MY GODDDD BEANIE YOU'RE THE SWEETEST. Genuinely teared up over here... I get so happy whenever I get any kind of message notif but AGH??? SO DETAILED? CRYING.

(Fic writer asks here!)

🌿how does creating make you feel?

Ahhh this is a big question! I like creating! But it can certainly be daunting sometimes... I think it's because I mostly do art. I find myself enjoying it less these days since I'm usually drawing for others in return for money. I keep taking commissions because I need money but it does take the joy out of creating sometimes. But whenever I do get to sit down and draw something I really enjoy, it's cathartic. It reminds me of why I still draw - it's that amazing gift I have to be able to make anything I want with my hands. And it fuels me with passion! I get really excited to see what else I can make! I have my ruts here and there but ultimately, I see creativity as a beautiful outlet and I'm really grateful for it. This all applies to writing too, of course!

✨What's a fic you've posted you wish you could breathe life into again and have people talking about it? (or simply a fic you wish got more credit)

ueihfjidsjgdsi I'm tempted to list one of my wips BECAUSE I DO NOT POST ENOUGH HELP DSDSFIJGD

If I had to pick, probably my John Watson x Reader Soulmate AU fic "A Silent Fate"! I thought it was a flop so I never had the motivation to finish it, but it's still one of my favorite ideas.

It uses the soulmate AU where everyone has the first words their soulmate says to them written on their arm. The twist is that the reader is mute! John Watson goes about his life, assuming that he simply doesn't have a soulmate - that theory further hardened after meeting Sherlock Holmes, a man who breaks all conventionality and rejects conformity. Then one day, the reader and John cross paths and the reader has to get creative with how they "talk" with John.

I really really love this idea because I'm all about "thinking outside of the box" and challenging myself with something uncommon. I don't think I see many mute!reader fics let alone mixed with the soulmate au so I wanted to give it a shot! I have the whole story drafted out... it's just unfortunate because I haven't felt the same way about the BBC Sherlock characters in a while ahaha

🎀🎀give yourself a compliment about your own writing

GAAHHH TWO!!! hmmm hmmmh mmm

✦ I like that my fics are long! It's something I get self-conscious of sometimes but I think it really shows how passionate I am about a fic when I can't stop writing. Because I really love adding all those little details and getting into the worldbuilding - it's my favorite part (the setup)!! I love the feeling of reading a good story that feels like it comes to life around me with characters who feel like real people. That's what I hope to achieve in my writing

✦ Another thing I like about my writing is ummm umumummum I like the way I write dialogue! Coming back to "making characters feel like real people", I LOVE writing extremely awkward pauses and fumbles in written dialogue (Explains why I love writing Reigen so much). Adding those "Um... erm... well-" and "AhaHAH-" just adds flavor and I'm way too obsessed with it

THANK YOU FOR THE ASKS AHHHH THIS WAS SO FUN!! ILYSM BEANIE 💗💗💗

#SOBBBIIINGNNNGN #I LOVED THIS SM #you're the sweetest ever....#seriously just made my night #buttery answers #writer asks #bittybeanie

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kaitsawamura · 4 years ago

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would you like to stay forever?

SUMMARY⎮ Sparring with Pro Hero Kirishima Eijiro in his private gym at his home doesn't seem like a bad idea if you don't count the fact that you really, really like him.

STATS⎮ minors do not interact, 18+ ⎮ Rating: M (for mature) ⎮ WC: 5525 ⎮ Pairing: Pro Hero Kirishima Eijiro x Fem!Reader ⎮ Tags: Aged Up Character(s), Friends to Lovers, Sparring, Smut, Fluff, Age/Experience Gap (if you really squint) ⎮ AO3

NOTES⎮ Thanks to @spacelabrathor for listening to me scream about this and to @some-kindofgnome for fueling my Kiri fever dreams. Yes, that title is based on a Mulan quote. This whole fic was based on THIS POST and Kirishima seemed like the perfect character for this pwp. Hope y'all enjoy! (Also please for the love of God, click on the banner to see in HD if you’re on mobile, it looks so much better lol)

It was Saturday and even though you’re on your way to becoming a Pro Hero, you can think of several things you’d rather be doing with your one day off than going to Kirishima Eijiro’s house to spar. But here you are pulling into his driveway, going over combat moves in your head as if your life depended on it. They weren’t really serving their purpose which was to distract yourself. Kiri had offered up his personal gym, encouraged you to stop by with one hand in his pocket and the other rubbing the back of his neck as if he was nervous.

A couple of his friends had already taken him up on the offer. You were the only one he’d offered who hadn’t come over yet. He had texted you a couple of weeks later saying he was starting to take it personally… and then immediately texted with a laughing emoji just to clarify he was only giving you a hard time. It brings a smile to your face now as you remember it. Yesterday he had also clarified it would just be the two of you if you were self-conscious sparring in front of other people. You’d have the whole place to yourselves. Like that should mean something. Which it did. It does , you realize with butterflies growing in your stomach. Kiri doesn’t need to know that though.

The two of you had been toeing around something since you had been hired at Fatgum’s Agency a year ago. Neither of you had made a move. Kirishima, the Red Riot, was a big Pro Hero and while you took pride in your quirk, it didn’t hold a coin to some of the others you’d come in contact with. It had surprised you when Toyomitsu had brought you on. But he had mumbled something about “liking your spunk” and that he thought a teleportation quirk would be a useful one to add to his agency. The first day you had shown up, Kiri had immediately caught your eye. Not for the obvious reasons. Obvious reasons being the fact that he was climbing the Pro Hero charts or the fact that he had a dynamically interesting quirk or that at twenty-five he was already built like a brickhouse.

Those were all valid reasons, yes, but what had pulled you in was his smile and his genuine interest in you outside of your quirk. But he was just like that you had quickly discovered. He knew everyone’s coffee order and what they liked for lunch. He knew when to push and when to back off. He knew when to talk and when to listen , knew when he still had a lesson to learn. The kids flocked to him. Even now you’re still entirely convinced that’s actually his quirk, getting people to like him. It’s not a difficult thing to do though.

Your brain stutters back to the present when a text notification pings from your cell phone as you sit in Kiri’s driveway, picking at non-existent lint on your gym shorts. The cute ones you’re still convincing yourself were your only clean pair and that’s the only reason you wore them.

KIRI : i saw u pull up, u gonna come in or what 😂

Had he been waiting for you to get there? You tapped out a quick response, one that hid the little flip in your stomach at the thought: creeper, you were watching for me lmao

Response bubbles immediately flash on your phone screen but you’re angling out of your car and shutting the door before he can reply.

Somehow, this house fits Kiri perfectly. It isn’t big. You had seen pictures of other top-ranking Pros’ houses. Enji Todoroki’s house, for example, was fucking ridiculous. But even without a massive floor plan, Kiri’s house is nicer than any you’d been in for some time. Clean, straight lines and lots of windows. In fact, you can see straight through the floor-to-ceiling windows out to his backyard when you reach the front door. Is that a pool ? Kiri had tons of fun showing pictures at the agency; it was a well-deserved investment for his already multiple years of service as a Pro. The pictures hadn’t done the place justice though.

Kiri comes to the door, throwing it wide open with a huge grin that shows off his sharp teeth. You ignore the way your mouth goes dry as he drags you in, babbling on like an excited little kid at you actually coming.

“I really thought you were gonna back out! I mean, that would have been fine, of course. I just can’t see the point of having the whole place to myself all the time.” He’s irresistibly cute, walking around showing you the living room and the kitchen and pointing out to the backyard where, yes, there is indeed a pool. “You can come over any time and use that too if you want!” You thank him, warmth pooling in your stomach at how incredibly nice he is.

“Uh, we should probably get in the gym. I have… stuff to do later,” you finish lamely. You don’t have anything to do later but very quickly you’re realizing how far out of your depth you are here. The familiar beginnings of the head over heels fall is washing over you in steady waves. But you’re coworkers and the thought of coming to work every day and having to see his adorable face and not doing anything about it is almost making you nauseous.

“Oh, yeah, it’s just down the hallway,” he rumbles, leading the way and you follow trying and failing miserably to calm the nerves flashing through your veins. You’re here alone with Kiri , the man you’ve been crushing on since you’d started working with him a year ago. And now your stupid brain isn’t just thinking about what it would feel like to run your tongue along his teeth or how his hands would feel between your legs. No, your stupid brain is thinking about what Kiri looks like when he first opens his eyes in the morning.

Your one-track mind is not getting any help, especially when Kiri walks through the doorway of the gym addition and immediately proceeds to pull his shirt up and over his shoulders and tosses it to the side. Shit. His back muscles ripple with the movement and when he turns to face you, it’s heart-wrenchingly obvious that he has no idea the effect he’s having on you. He has to know . Doesn’t he? From your end, it seems wildly obvious that someone as good-looking as him should know .

You glance around, eternally grateful for the fact that the gym is also attractive. Floor to ceiling windows span two of the walls here as well and there’s a large set of French doors leading out to the yard. You find yourself actually in awe when you get a better look at the landscaping. It’s so green . There’s a small patch of lawn but the rest is just artfully arranged native flora and fauna. Violets, tulips. Huge hosta plants. And cherry trees heavy with their signature sakura blossoms.

“Kiri, it’s beautiful!” He comes to stand beside you, looking out the French doors as well.

“You like it? I guess it is pretty nice, huh?” You glance up at him, your chest expanding on a lurch looking at his smile. You’d never noticed before but he has a light dusting of freckles across his nose.

“Yeah, really nice.” You look out again, letting the silence grow until it feels like the most comfortable thing in the world. After what seems like an eternity Kiri clears his throat, rocking back on the balls of his feet. “What are you thinking for today?” The question leaves your lips and you’re immediately regretting it; your stomach flips again when Kiri looks at you like you’re prey.

“Close combat, hand-to-hand combat. You did mention a while ago you wanted to strengthen that, right?” You throw your head back, rolling your eyes, and groan. The two of you make your way to the center of the mat.

“Yeah, I mean, I’d be scared to take me on too,” Kiri says, large hands on even larger hips. He isn’t as tall as some of the other heroes at six foot three inches but he’s wide , thick. You know for a fact you couldn’t wrap your arms around his waist and have your hands meet. He’s wearing the biggest shit-eating grin you’ve ever seen. The sharpened points of his canines are out and on prominent display. Famous last words you think as a snarl erupts on your face.

“I’m not scared , Kiri. I just don’t want to wear you out . You’re a Pro Hero. You’re on the job a lot more than I am. Plus, you’re getting kind of old. Is that a little gray I see coming in?” Kiri bares his teeth even more but it’s not lost on you that he quickly reaches up to rake his fingers through his hair. There isn’t any gray, obviously , but the thought has Red Riot distracted. Distracted enough that when you plant your feet and your fist connects with his face, your knuckles hit skin and not the reinforced rock of his quirk.

“ Shit.” Kiri takes a step back, reaching up to cradle his jaw. His tongue swipes out to lick at the blood on his bottom lip. His vermillion eyes find yours and if you didn’t work with him on a regular basis, you would have felt fear at this moment. You know he wouldn’t hurt you but even now, a thrill races through your veins like electricity. He looks as if he’s going to devour you. You take your own step back, readying your quirk, reaching out to it as your fists hold their position in front of your body. A dark chuckle spills from his chest as Kiri calls on his own quirk.

Now it was your turn to be distracted; you had always been fascinated by Kiri’s quirk, the way his body looked when it hardened up. The ripples of muscle still visible under the toughened skin. The divots and ridges and how they mapped their way across his shoulders and chest and abdomen. You knew how it felt to the touch in fake combat. The Fatgum heroes all took pride in maintaining a healthy routine; sparring was a common workout that was previously done at a local public gym. You wonder absently what it would feel like to touch him slow and at the moment. When you could give extra attention with extra time.

Kiri closes the space between the two of you at the moment your mind strays and you barely are able to teleport out of the way to avoid him crashing into you. You try to take a swipe at him as you materialize from in front of him to behind but this time he’s ready for you and he’s using his quirk. Instead of moving out of the way, he plants his feet and allows your punch to hit. Pain radiates up through your fingers and wrist. It always irritated you that you had to prepare yourself to strike Kiri when he was using his quirk. Otherwise, you’d be in for a whole lot of hurt every time you landed a punch.

Teleportation is a pretty handy quirk. It gives you a pretty good advantage the more you work on your close combat skills. The trick with Kiri was to keep going at him until he ran out of energy. You hadn’t gotten to that point yet; your quirk had its limits as well. You were only two years out of UA, Kiri was out by seven. His strength was already fairly unmatched; sparring with him was always good practice. You relish the thought of the day you can win a sparring session without tapping out. It surges through you like pure energy.

You teleport to stand in front of him again, shifting your weight into your hips and up through your right hook. This time your fist connects with Kiri’s side and he lets out a small grunt. Your fingers don’t hurt so bad this time and by the time Kiri is retaliating, you jump back a few feet. He hmms, a sound that reverberates from his chest.

“That’s all well and good but how do you expect to do anything if you jump that far away?” He lunges forward at a running start, leaping at the last second, sending his gloved fist into your stomach. You were fast, but still not always fast enough. You double over, the air rushing from your lungs and your pre-workout protein smoothie threatening to exit back the way it went in. Sweat is already beading on your brow and sliding under your tank top. You take a few breaths through your nose when an idea pops into your head; you stay bent over. “Hey, I didn’t hit you that hard. You good?”

Kiri comes to stand in front of you, leaving him vulnerable. He can’t see your smirk until it’s too late. You wail on him, using some of the basic combos he’s taught you before today. Satisfaction rolls through you when he actually takes a step back. But then he puts his arms up in front of him, clenching his abdomen and bending inward to protect his core. He drops just a fraction and before you realize what’s happening, he’s swiping his leg out to push through yours. You watch in slow motion as you see his laughing face then the ceiling of the gym as you flip and land on your back.

If you thought you were out of breath before… “Fuuu-.” It’s a wheeze that feels like it’s ripping your chest open. You’re seeing stars. Kiri stands over you, hands on his hips again. You stare at his face; the hero has his hair pulled back into a bun. You snort, rolling your eyes. Why does he still look so fucking good? The sweat has caused some of the pieces falling out of his hair tie to curl. His hair has curl to it? You’ve never noticed before, considering he always gels it into spikes. You like the curl. “Are you--are you gonna help me up, or what?” It was still painful to talk.

Kiri tilts his head to the side, just slightly, and crosses his arms. “I’m thinking not. Last time I let down my guard you got those good combos in.” You stare in stunned silence, sitting up so you’re supported by your elbows. Kiri shifts slightly and if you didn’t know better, you’d say he’s backing up to… get a better view.

“Is that any way to treat your student, Red Riot?” You know you get under his skin when he clicks his tongue against his teeth and holds out a hand with a begrudging eye roll. He pulls you up with ease, quickly enough that you almost lose your balance, swaying into his space. You look up, eyes moving back and forth between his.

He draws in a breath and drags his bottom lip between his teeth. “First of all,” he says as he places his hands on your upper arms, “I’m not your teacher. I’m not that much older than you. Secondly,” he mutters as he tucks a stray lock of hair behind your ear, “our relationship isn’t that formal is it?” He’s so fucking close. This is getting dangerous. Dangerous because Kiri is within kissing distance. Dangerous because this gentle side of him is making you lose more breath than falling on your ass. Dangerous because the thought of Kiri taking you on the floor right now is almost too much to bear.

So you fall back on what you’re here to do. Fight. You flash him a wicked smile before rallying your quirk and teleporting a few feet away. His hand is still raised in mid-air and when his head whips to look in your direction, his crimson eyes are narrowed and his nostrils are flared. He laughs and rolls his neck, dancing on his toes.

“Okay. I see. I’m not gonna go easy on you, you know?” You snort and put your fists up in front of you again.

“As if you were going easy on me before, Kiri. Bring it on.” He smiles, the sharp points of his teeth enough to make your thoughts swerve again before you bring them under control. “Bring it on,” you whisper more to yourself as you brace for the fight.

Two hours later, you feel the strain in your muscles. Your quirk is running low on reserves and you know you won’t be able to use it much more. Kiri looks like he hasn’t wasted a breath but you can see he’s getting tired in the way his feet don’t move as sharply. And if the length of time he’s using his quirk is any indication to his state of mind, you know the two of you will be calling it a day soon. But you’re also both stubborn. And you’re dying to get one more good move in on him.

The cockiness the two of you had at the beginning of the sparring session hasn’t gone away but has burned hot into determination. No more smiles, only clear-headed concentration. The two of you are an arm's length from each other, throwing various punches and switching quickly between using your quirks and not. You’re breathing hard, sweat gathering at your brow as you throw another right hook that Kiri easily blocks.

“Get out of your head. You can be too predictable sometimes.” He doesn’t mean for it to come across as rude but the words strike a match to a guttering fire. You bare your own teeth at Kiri even though they aren’t sharp and probably don’t look nearly as threatening but it helps you feel powerful nonetheless. You drop without a second thought, lowering to your palms and sweeping your leg out in front of you in a wide arc. A grin spreads across your face when your calf meets Kiri’s ankle. He’s too physically dense for this move to work if he had seen it coming. But he doesn’t. And his solid 220 pounds of muscle falls hard.

You allow yourself the satisfaction of the moment for only a split second; Kiri’s recovery time is much shorter than yours so it isn’t long before he’s scrambling forward. He goes straight for your wrists to subdue you but with a smirk, you realize in his haste he’s put himself in the perfect position for you to possibly gain the upper hand. You scoot up away from him just enough to drag his arm forward and swing your legs around his neck. Then you elevate your hips and lock your core.

It’s over from there as you squeeze with every last ounce of strength left in your body. It doesn’t take long for him to tap out. You release as soon as you feel his loose hand tap your arm; he collapses over you and you’re too tired to move away or push him off. Now his breathing is rough and you feel a surge of pride. You reach up and place your hand on his head where his bun has come undone; he’s so heavy but it doesn’t feel bad. In fact, the feel of Kirishima resting his head and upper chest on your stomach is feeling nothing short of good . He’s still between your legs and suddenly the air is crackling with a new kind of energy when you gently comb your fingers through his hair.

He rises up, his hands on either side of you. His hips rest between your legs; the mingled heat radiating from both of you is almost more than you can take but there is no way you’re going to move anywhere. He leans forward, so close you can see the flecks of burnt orange in his eyes. If you moved forward just a little, you could close that space between you. He leans down more, his mouth right next to the shell of your ear.

“Maybe not always predictable. You did good today. Probably some of the best fighting I’ve seen from you so far. Keep it up.” He grunts, a shift of his hips allowing the curve of his cock to brush against your clothed sex through his gym shorts. He stiffens in what you think might be embarrassment. “Shit, sorry, let me just, uh--” The stuttering mess he becomes right before your eyes makes something lurch in your chest; you reach for his face without thinking.

“Kiri,” you whisper, rolling your own hips against his. His cheeks are burning a shade of red almost as vibrant as his hair. You bring up your other hand, holding his face between them and bringing him down to settle over you once more. Your lips meet his; he seems to war with himself for just a moment. A suspended second in time. But then he gives in, slipping his tongue against yours in a delicious sliding vision of what’s coming.

He reaches between you to slip his hand under your tank top; his hand is big and nearly encompasses your side. But it’s warm and gentle. Gentle. Who would have guessed that Red Riot could be so fucking gentle? But he is and when his hand moves lower to slide below the hem of your shorts, you give yourself to him with no reservations. His middle finger passes through the mess of your sex; a hissed breath rattles through his chest as your back arches on a ragged groan.

“ Shit. You’re so wet .” He slides his finger back and forth, gathering your slick on the thick digit. He takes his hand away and you mewl. “Can I?” He asks breathlessly as he hooks his hands on the hem of your shorts. You nod, eyes half-lidded. He pulls them down along with your underwear and the way he looks at you, at what’s between your legs, you don’t even have the wherewithal to feel self-conscious. Adoration. It’s the only word you can think of and it makes you wonder if you’d made a mistake waiting so long.

He’s on his knees when he takes your legs and drapes them on either side of his hips; this time he doesn’t hesitate in slipping his finger into your cunt. You nearly see stars just from that and if one finger is any indication, you’re in for it. Slowly, he adds another, his hand pumping into you in a steady rhythm. You’re grabbing for the ground, grabbing for him as a strangled noise pushes from your throat. He reaches out with his other hand to splay it across your sternum and it’s the only thing anchoring you as he adds the third finger before scooting down to put his mouth on your clit.

“ Kiri,” you keen, shoving your hips into his touch, frantically scrabbling for his wrist that’s on your chest just to have something to hold on to. He’s done this before, he’s had to. He’s too good. Too fucking good. Already there’s coiling in your gut as incomprehensible words tumble from your mouth. “Shit. Shit. Kiri I’m--I’m gonna--” He rumbles approvingly against your clit; the vibrations send you closer and closer to the edge and when it crests, your back arches near pain as you cry out, your voice echoing in the gym. It’s deep, roaring through all of your limbs but Kiri keeps going, fingers still pumping, tongue still swirling around your sensitive nub.

Another orgasm breaks over you sharp and quick and the overstimulation has your legs quaking as your arousal gushes over Kiri’s hand and tongue. But then he’s moving again, and you’re blearily aware that he’s shoving his own shorts and boxers past his hips to free his cock. You stare as it bounces back to sit near the planes of his stomach; it’s already leaking steadily with precum. Kiri looks back at you and when your eyes meet, you dart your tongue out between your lips to wet them. Another time, maybe.

Kiri leans forward to lift you up and the closer you get you can barely see any red in his eyes; his pupils are blown, his nostrils flared as he lifts you like you weigh nothing . He could snap you like a twig. But he won’t. You know without a doubt this is the safest you’ve ever felt, even as he lowers you slowly over his cock and it does feel like you’re being split .

“ Fuuuck…” You wrap your legs around him, your mouth dropped open, your hands gripping his shoulders. You try not to dig your nails in but it’s almost impossible with how you’re being filled. You knew Kiri was big but this was almost too much. His forehead drops to yours as he pants. But he’s not moving, won’t move until you tell him to. It makes your heart ache and your cunt floods, drunk on the affection thrumming through your veins. You roll your hips experimentally and the friction is bliss. “Oh fuck, ohfuck.” You move again, pushing yourself up and back down, listening to the hitch in his breathing. “ Kiri, please, ” you whisper. Those words… they’re enough.

Kirishima grips you by the hips, his fingers splayed and digging into the flesh; it’ll leave bruises and the knowledge cracks through you like electricity. Let him leave marks. Let him leave them everywhere. He’s moving you up and down his cock, grunting, mumbling. “Tell me, Kiri, tell me.” His eyes meet yours again and his own mouth drops open.

“Fuck, you’re so good. S’ tight. Jesus, I-- ” Kiri moves his hands from your hips to support you as he lays you down on the floor of the gym. The idea should be questionable but it’s not, it’s fucking not and you can’t concentrate on any other thoughts when Kiri grabs your wrists and pins them gently above your head with one hand while the other comes back to your hip. He thrusts into you at a brutal pace but… it feels like home and you think in that moment as your cunt begins to seize around his cock that you would give up forever to continue touching him.

“Yes, Kiri, yes. Right there, right--shit yesyes yes. ” He pistons up, the veins of his cock rubbing just right and when he releases the grip on your hands, they’re moving to wrap around him on instinct. He’s planting kisses along your jaw, mouthing up to your lips and back down to graze his teeth over your pulse point. “Do it, fuckin’ do it, let them know ‘m yours, ” you slur and when he bites down you crash over the edge on a groan that’s really more of a scream. Everything goes black but you're cradling him to you as his movements become more erratic. The snapping of his hips is getting sloppier by the second and a steady growl punches from his lungs with each breath. “Cum, Kirishima, cum inside me.”

He’s never heard those words before and it lights a fire in his veins. His head is buzzing and then he can’t hear anything as his cock releases and he’s spurting searing hot ropes of cum into your cunt. He goes until you’ve milked every last drop from him and he’d be lying if he said his world didn't suddenly feel whole. Finally, his body settles and his chest drops to yours. Everything slowly bleeds back into focus and somehow, everything seems more colorful than it did moments before. You’re still clinging to him.

“Kiri. Kiri, babe, I can’t breathe,” you say and he slowly rises, taking in your blissed-out expression. Your eyes can barely stay open, your cheeks are flushed. He backs up to see his handiwork on display, hyper-focused on the trail of the mingling cum dripping from the mess of your sex. But you’re smiling. Lazy and tired, completely at ease. “Wanna take a shower?” When you nod he doesn’t hesitate in standing to kick his underwear and shorts the rest of the way off his legs and then he’s grabbing you, scooping you into his arms and against his chest. He pads out of the gym and across the hall to his bathroom where he deposits you on your feet, only after he’s sure you can stand and only long enough to turn the shower head-on.

He puts his hand under the water, waiting for it to get warm. Steam billows from behind the glass door when he’s turning back to you to remove your tank top and your sports bra. Thank god you chose the front-closure one today; you didn’t think either one of you wanted to struggle to get one up over your head right now. When your breasts spill out of the high-impact fabric, you notice with tender amusement that his cock is half-hard again. His eyes go dark again and he leans in for a kiss. But it's slow and sweet.

"You're so fuckin' beautiful," he whispers. He ignores his arousal, ushering you into the stream of water. Your care is the only thing that matters to him right now. The heat slides across your body, and when Kirishima steps up behind you and begins soaping up your shoulders, it feels like heaven .

You take turns washing each other until you’re both blissed out in a different kind of way and the only thing either one of you can think about is sleep. But the afterglow is fading and doubt is creeping in. When you step out of the water, you stand awkwardly as Kiri hands you a towel. “You okay?” He’s actually concerned and you can’t put your finger on why you’re so fucking grateful for it.

“Yea, just tired. I should, uh, probably get going.” Kiri freezes and you think you’ve said something wrong, already crossed a line. Your brain is like a broken record as the stomach-curdling image of having to see him at the agency flashes across your eyes in vivid detail. But then he’s stepping into your space and pulling you in for a hug. A hug.

“Don’t go,” he whispers into the crown of your head and it has you smiling like an idiot against his chest. His skin smells clean and warm with a hint of spice. You bury your face further in as you nod against him. Then he’s leading you to his room, to the king-sized bed. He peels back the comforter and the white sheets and pulls you in beside him. Your back is against him and he hooks his foot around your ankles, bringing you even closer.

He doesn’t say anything more, just lets out a huge sigh as he wraps his arm around you. The last thing you notice before your eyes flutter shut is how your heartbeats are thumping at the same steady rhythm.

Late afternoon sunlight slants in Kirishima’s bedroom window, creating interesting patterns across his blanket. It’s pushed towards the end of the bed, your legs intertwined and tangled in the sheets. He’s still dozing, his breathing not quite that of someone sleeping but not of a person fully awake. You reach out to cup his cheek, stroke above his eyebrows, caress his lips with your thumb. A contented sigh leaves his chest as he grabs your hand and kisses your wrist. His eyes are open now and he watches you. You smile at him, snuggling closer, not wanting the moment to end.

“Hey,” he says quietly, suddenly serious. “I just want you to know, I don’t do this all the time. I mean, I’ve been with other people before but I don’t… I don’t really hook up .” Things start clicking into place as you realize what he’s trying to get across. He just fucked you stupid in his personal gym and somehow he looks bashful. And because you love it, you’re not going to help him along. You just watch, biting your lip to keep from giggling. “I just. I guess what I’m trying to say is I like you. I’ve liked you for a long time. And normally I would have wined and dined you first but... Well. Here we are. Would you like to stay for dinner?”

That’s the last straw; your laughter comes bubbling out of you and Kiri is leaning back to look at you with a quizzical expression on his face. “Is something funny?” That just makes you laugh a little harder but the confused look he’s wearing has you leaning in to press your lips against his.

“I’ve liked you from the first day I met you, Kiri. I’ll one-up your offer and tell you that I might like to stay forever.” A grin rips across his face and your heart blooms with warmth and affection. The world seems full of possibilities but none of them matter except for the possibility laying right in front of you.

#kirishima x reader #kirishima eijiro x reader #kirishima eijirou x reader #kirishima eijiro #kirishima eijirou #pro hero kirishima #red riot #kirishima smut #bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #kaitsuki writes #oh my god i had such brain block #writing this one #because i get too in my head writing smut #BUT i hope everyone still enjoys #we stan kiri in this house

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ijwrff · 3 years ago

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If you are taking requests, May I have a Yandere Anti fic? Maybe one where the reader is hella shy and a big history nerd(like myself 👉👈)and they like rocks,sticks,and are basically Goblin brained? Thank you 👉👈

I can’t remember if this was before or after I opened requests so I wrote it anyways XD hope you enjoy!

You were anxious. You always got anxious meeting new people, but you knew you had to meet him. Anti. He was the last septic you had to meet. You’ve even met Angus at this point.

You’d been friends with Jackie first, after he helped you when someone tried to steal your wallet. He saved you, and you were grateful for him. Since then, you’ve met the rest of his family. All but Anti.

He was rarely home, always busy doing something. The others have warned you he can be...difficult to get along with. Which only served to make you more anxious about your meeting.

Jackie pulled you out of your thoughts, “It’ll be okay! He’s a softie at heart.” He knew of your anxiety meeting new people, and gradually introduced you to the members of his family. You were anxious to meet all of them, but they all responded well and eased your anxieties. All of them you’ve met have been kind and understanding.

“He’s an asshole, don’t lie. Lying will only make them more anxious.” Marvin pitched in, and successfully made your anxiety worse.

“Um...I don’t know if I can do this…” You didn’t want to skip out on meeting Anti, but the septics weren’t helping.

Jackie put his hand on your shoulder, “It’ll be fine! If he’s mean to you I'll speak up. You don’t have to meet him alone, we’re here for you!” He was ready for you to meet his last brother, even if he could be mean at times. Jackie truly believed he was a good person, but he would admit he could be cruel at times. If he was mean to his friend...he wouldn’t remain quiet.

Jackie, Marvin, JJ and Robbie were there with you. Angus was away on his latest adventure, and Schneep was working. Chase was out with his kids, or he’d be there with you too.

JJ seemed almost as anxious as you...apparently they’ve had a lot of fights in the past. He confided in you about them, and it fueled your anxiety. If Anti could get into bad fights with his own family...what if he had fights with you?

Before you could leave the front door opened...and there he stood. Adorned with ripped black jeans and a solid black shirt. His green hair flowed, and you couldn’t help but think...he’s gorgeous.

You decided to speak first, “did you know turkeys were revered as gods by the mayan people?” Shit...you got nervous and gave a fun history fact instead of introducing yourself again. “Um...sorry. I really like history. I’m y/n.” You held out your hand to shake his, but he didn’t move.

Awkwardly you pulled your hand back, but he reached out and grabbed it at the last minute. “Anti.”

“Welcome back!” Jackie pulled him into a hug, and it looked like Anti wanted to be anywhere else in the world.

“Oh! I got you a gift!” You reached into your pocket and pulled out a shimmering green rock. It was how you showed your love, giving your friends rocks that remind you of them. You thought it would be a good gift to give to Anti.

He reached out and took the rock. “Thanks.” He kept his responses short and sweet, and the others looked surprised that he even said thank you. Apparently he wasn’t one to do such.

“I’m going to my room, don’t bother me.” Without another word, Anti left to go to his room.

“Well…” Jackie started once Anti was gone, “that could have been a lot worse.”

“Told you he was an ass.” Marvin got up from his chair and walked away.

“Do you...think he doesn’t like me?” You voiced your worries and Jackie instantly reassured you.

“He doesn’t like a lot of people, he just needs to get to know you more!” He gave you a smile then went to the kitchen to make lunch for you all.

JJ smiled at you before walking to his own room, leaving you with Robbie.

“He...not good about feelings.” You smiled at Robbie, pulling him into a hug.

“Thanks Robbie.” You knew he was just trying to comfort you. You pulled away from the hug and followed him to the tv so you could play videogames together.

That was a couple weeks ago. And since then, you’ve given Anti sticks, rocks, and shiny things. It was how you expressed your feelings. And for some reason...Anti hasn’t left again. It seems like whenever you were at the septics house, he was there too.

You found yourself visiting more often than usual, enjoying the time you got to spend with Anti. Today was different though...he seemed more...on edge.

“Anti...is something wrong? You seem distant…” You had grown more comfortable with him since visiting more, and you wouldn’t lie...you were developing a crush on the septic.

“No. Drop it.” That made you even more concerned.

“Are you sure…? I’m here for you if you want to talk about it.” You just wanted him to know you were someone safe to confide in.

He grunted and grabbed your arm, pulling you towards his room.

“Anti...why are we going to your room?” Maybe he wanted to be out of the open to open up. He didn’t confide in his brothers much from what you could see...maybe he didn’t want to talk about it when they could walk in at any moment.

He opened the door and pulled you inside. It was the first time seeing his room. It reflected him a lot, many dark colors. But what surprised you was all of the items you’ve given him out on display. You honestly didn’t think he’d keep them. But apparently he valued the gifts, enough to display them on his desk.

“You...stop caring about me. It’s dangerous for you.” He wouldn’t deter you that easily.

“I can’t. And even if it’s dangerous...i’d like to stay friends.” Even if you secretly wanted more.

“What if I don’t want to be friends?” The words broke your heart, and he saw the pain on your face, instantly continuing, “I want to be more. But I’ll hurt you. I know I will.”

“I can handle it. I can make my own decisions.” You looked up at him, determined.

“Tch...you’re not very good at making decisions then.” He had yet to let go of your arm, and you thought he might just enjoy the contact.

You reached over and held his hand, “What if I choose you?”

He grunted, and pulled you over to the bed, laying you down and hovering over you. “You shouldn’t. You have no idea what you’re getting into.”

“Then tell me...what makes you so dangerous?”

He didn’t respond, and leaned down, lips connecting with your neck. It made you gasp, and a blush crawled onto your face.

“Anti…” he growled at the word.

“Don’t say my name like that…I can’t be held responsible for the consequences.” He bit your neck gently, and you almost laughed at how gentle he was being.

“You have to tell me what makes you so dangerous.”

“If you were mine...you’d be mine and only mine. I wouldn’t let anyone else look at you. I’d mark you so everyone knows you’re mine.” He bit harder, before sucking on the skin gently, effectively giving you a hickey.

“What if I want to be yours anyways?” You felt bold for just a moment, and the words came out before you could stop them.

Anti growled once again and leaned back, taking a good look at your red face before leaning back down and pulling you into a kiss.

It was passionate, and more gentle than you thought possible. You kissed back with the intent of showing your feelings through it. Still...it made your face red. You were kissing your crush, of course you’d be red in the face.

“I want you...but if we do this...you can’t be with anyone else. You have to be mine. I don’t even want my brothers around you. I want you to be mine.”

“Then do it...make me yours.” You leaned up and pulled him into another kiss, this one rougher than before.

You would be his...forever. He would never let you go. He meant every word. You would be his and only his.

#antisepticeye x reader #yandere anti x reader #yandere antisepticeye x reader #x reader

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illneverrecover · 3 years ago

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💌: end of 2021 fic review

A bit late, but better than never! I was tagged by two lovelies @kithtaehyung and @lavienjin. Thank you for thinking of me!

5 works you’re most proud of

SO, fun fact - I only posted 4 things in 2021 TT___TT. I think this goes to show just how crazy of a year it was for me, haha. But since there’s only 4 I’ll write about each of them.

1. Trust My Love - Jinyoung x reader - this was actually for a secret admirer project I took on in the beginning of 2021 for @ksmutclub. It was very outside my comfort zone, since it was the first time I’d written for Jinyoung (or anyone in GOT7, for that matter). I’m proud of myself for doing something outside my usual range, and I had a lot of fun getting to know the person I was writing for and including specific life details about them into the fic. 2. Forever Young pt 1 - ot7 x reader; side ksj x reader - another project fic! I was having a hard time feeling motivated but knew that the crushing sense of letting someone down would push me to write and publish. This is my first ot7 attempt and also something outside of the regular for me. Making something more action focused was a lot of fun, but it was hard as hell. 3. Forever Young pt 2 - ot7 x reader; side ksj x reader - making this into a series became necessary because my ideas proved to be too much. Basically, I can never shut up, lmao. Setting up for a series was very daunting to me, as I feel there can be more pressure when people are expecting chapters on a consistent basis. I’m still proud that I pushed through that and released two chapters in 2021. 4. The Interview - jhs x reader - this almost feels like cheating to include, because it’s just a very short drabble. But I’m proud of myself nonetheless. This was a challenge for me because as I said before, I never shut up. Drabbles end up being several thousand words long typically (please see: the attempted drabble game I did in 2019 that was basically all oneshots, lmao) so I really wanted to keep myself within the parameters of 500 words or less. It’s harder than it looks to provide enough context that shorter stories have impact, so I was glad to practice it here (and also i would do literally anything for @xjoonchildx and that’s the that on that.)

4 current WIPs you’re excited to release

1. The Last Time (angst, smut) jhs x reader - this is likely the next thing I’ll release, as it’s already almost complete! Inspired by rude looks Hoseok pulls in the Butter MV, spurned on by the release of Red (Taylors version), and fueled by @xjoonchildx and @jimins-ass-eater’s tears. Just some good ol’ fashion smangst. 2. A currently unnamed Taekook threesome that I will be working on with the insanely talented and lovely @madseok. 3. Idk if I’m allowed to mention the project this is for yet because we haven’t announced, but I have another upcoming Tae fic (currently unnamed) that I’ve plotted for and am really excited to share!! 4. A Chanyeol/Changkyun college AU solely written to hurt @taetaesbaebaepsae’s feelings.

3 biggest improvements

This is hard!! I feel like I have so much I need to improve, and I didn’t write as much as I would have liked in 2021. So it’s a bit hard to track things like this.

• One thing is during the writing process itself - I’ve been working on not editing as I write. This is REALLY, REALLY hard for me. I tend to overthink and get stuck in parts and before would just give up if it kept happening. Now, I try to just write - write without stopping to edit, change, think about the right word, whatever. Just. Write. If I get to a part where I feel stuck, I write myself a note to come back and keep going. It’s really helped me get things finished, and I’ve found that my first drafts aren’t as terrible as I think they are while working on them. • Just writing more in general! I’ve found the first thing that happens when I get overly stressed is any creativity goes out the window. When I’m feeling the real world too hard, I get disconnected from my creative side and have no desire to write. I’ve found that things like sprints, workshopping, or even just talking things out with friends can help me feel more motivated, and I was able to write more towards the later half of 2021. • One thing that I don’t know if I’ve improved upon (mostly because I am always hoping to improve upon it) is showing rather than telling. I like being descriptive but sometimes that can be overkill. The fact that I’m an overthinker in general certainly doesn’t help, haha. So it’s a balance that I’d like to find more as my writing continues.

2 resolutions

• Write more! Write more and more often. Writing makes me happy and is a great outlet for me to express myself. I deserve to practice some self care by doing things simply because I enjoy them. As a bit of a part two to this point, I’d like to write more non-BTS centered fics as well. • Comparison is the thief of joy, and I am guilty of it. There is no such thing as perfection, and I’d like to embrace and trust in my writing a bit more instead of always striving for it.

1 favourite line

I’m assuming this should be from something we’ve written in 2021, so I picked something from one of the four posted pieces.

“ There was so much - a whole life, all in a breath, in a single bite - but there was one thing that showed up repeatedly, constantly, making Seokjin’s undead heart race and threaten to burst within his chest. A woman, achingly beautiful, her smile contagious but not in the way that causes monstrosities like him - but in that peaceful way that feels like coming home.” - Forever Young pt 1

Tagging: I think every single one of my writing moots was tagged in this already lol so I won’t bother, but if you haven’t been tagged and would like to do this - use me as your excuse (and tag me so I can read it!)

#this was a bit hard but i had fun doing it!#thank you for the tag bb!#2021 fic review #hopefully 2022 will have more this time lolol #my writing #tag games #jackie.tagged

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writing-in-april · 4 years ago

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Postmarked In The Past

Spencer Reid x Female Single Mom Reader

Summary: After sixteen years of no contact Reader reconnects with Spencer because she has to reveal the secret she’s been keeping since she stopped sending letters to him.

A/N: Hey heyyy! This is my sixteenth fic (it’s actually was totally unintentional to choose the 16th for this fic even though the daughter is 16 in this fic lol 😂) for my 30 fics in 30 days for April!! This one is based off of this request and is part of my unlinked Spencer Reid & Letters series! Thanks for all the love and support lately- I was going to put out my plan for my 1500 follower celebration yesterday or today but if you saw my post I’ve been struggling so it’ll probably come on the 19th or the 20th. Submit an ask here- I love hearing from everyone 🥰Thanks for reading and hope y’all enjoy 🥰

Warnings: Reader keeps a huge secret she definitely shouldn’t have, Reader is a single mother-the daughter doesn’t have a specified name but she is specified to be 16, Reader is very defensive when her daughter finds the letters, mentions of a one night stand

Main Masterlist Word Count: 2.5k

Spencer had been a bright spot in my life, one that had been snuffed out all because of me. When I had found myself pregnant with his child, after I had visited him once, I bolted. For a long time I justified my actions, saying to myself that it was better that Spencer was unburdened while his career was just starting out. But, deep down I knew how wonderful Spencer would have been as a father, how he would have moved heaven and earth to make everything work. And, that guilt haunted me.

The memories I had of him were so far in between, every moment with him had been so fleeting at the end. I struggled to sometimes even remember how he looked as it had been sixteen years since I last laid eyes on him.

I had to strain my memory to remember the way his gelled hair curled around his ears and how sometimes I saw him let the curls free only around me. His eyes had been brown, I could remember that. But, pinpointing what shade they were when they glinted in the light or were drenched in the shadows was lost to me. I knew he had been tall and lanky, his hands reflecting that with how spindly they were. To remember how those fingers had felt on my skin, or how his lips had marked me, or how he would gently stroke my hair was too difficult. Whether it was because I couldn’t remember or that I didn’t want to, it was just too hard for me to want to try to strain my memory anymore.

The labor had been the most difficult thing I had gone through, no one had been there to hold my hand. And, I didn’t really want anybody else except Spencer holding it. I had gritted my teeth and accepted it, pushing through the physical and emotional pain, especially since the pain of losing Spencer had been entirely because of me. I had been given a beautiful baby daughter that day and it was then that I started to force myself to forget Spencer, she looked too much like him to be able to bear.

The only things that remained in my life that involved him were the letters I sent to him in the last year of our relationship while we were long distance and my daughter. The letters were able to be shoved in a box at the bottom of a closet, but my daughter confronted me with my actions everyday by existing. I loved my daughter very much, I just tried to avoid the topic of her father by concocting a lie and making myself forget all of Spencer’s features so I wouldn’t see them as much in her. My nightmare would be the two things converging to confront me with my guilt, I don’t think I could handle that.

—-

At the kitchen table I saw my daughter, holding a letter. Her holding a letter wasn’t at its core a bad thing of course, but I could tell by the slight yellowing of the paper that it was getting old. Immediately panic spread through me; there were no other old letters she’d be looking at besides mine, the ones I sent to Spencer.

“Those are private.” I snapped defensively, definitely too hostile to be reasonable. It was obvious by my tone of voice that I was hiding something.

“Private?!” She yelled, giving away that she had already read at least a few of them. I clenched my eyes shut to prepare for her question, “Are these from my father?! Who you said was a one night stand?!” I vividly remember explaining the lie I had concocted for her, her being confused why I would only be with her father once. It was a hard subject to dance around, a difficult lie for me and her to swallow. But, the alternative was too painful for me to be honest with her, or honest with Spencer. And, I knew it made me selfish, at the time it had been so Spencer wouldn’t stop his blossoming career. With time I realized that I really had done it because I had been scared. The guilt had started to sting worse when I realized that.

I had been caught, there was no weaseling out of this. I hanged my head in defeat, finally admitting to the large lie I had even roped the rest of my family in, “Yes.”

If she had been a dragon she’d be breathing fire on me while she spoke, “And why would you keep this from me! Did he do something bad or something?! Is that why you didn’t tell me?!”

“No-I-“ I stammered a few times until I found the words, “I- I did it because I didn’t want to hold him back… We were so young, and I knew he’d quit his new job across the country to come back to me.” Keeping the details still vague was my only armor right now. I kept to myself how those letters were the way we communicated for months when he started in the academy. We were only able to meet up once a month, and one month I unexpectedly fell pregnant. I never sent another letter or came to visit him again once I found out.

She clenched her jaw at me, looking back down at the scores of letters that we had written, and I had hidden. Her next question now made me clench my jaw, “C-can I see him? Or call him? Or send him a letter?” If you don’t know how to contact him anymore I’m sure we can-“

I was nervous as to where this was going. There was no way I could contact Spencer again after all these years, the guilt already ate at me everyday. Seeing and remembering his face would only make it worse. Fear was fueling me and I cut her off because of it, “No- I- I don’t think it’s a good idea...I just need more time- until I’m ready.” I started to shrink away from her, my authority slipping through my fingers as I became more and more vulnerable.

“You’ve waited sixteen years, you’ll never be ready.” The spite in her voice was stinging, she wasn’t completely wrong in her statement.. And when I didn’t answer she then stormed away, slamming the door to her room.

——

Our relationship in the few weeks following was strained at best, estranged at worse. She barely spoke to me since then, the biggest conversation we had was about what was for dinner- and that had been about two sentences long.

I was slowly coming around to the idea of perhaps finding a way for her and Spencer to reconnect. The guilt that I had been so afraid of becoming worse if I confronted it head on, only grew worse by avoiding it. I was actually going to talk to her after I got home from work, until I realized what she did.

She left her own letter on the table titled Dear Mom, detailing where she was going without giving any specifics. There was one part that gave her reasoning for writing her plan down, she didn’t want me to have a heart attack even if she was mad at me. Plus there were a few sentences about how she had used her own money that she had been saving up, which was supposed to be for college only serving to make you even more frustrated. At the bottom she wrote- I’m going to find my Dad, please don’t follow me or call the police.

I scoffed to myself, wondering if she expected her warning to not to follow her to be followed. Of course I was going to follow her, there was no way I was going to just let her go off on her own like that.

It wouldn’t be too hard to find her. Spencer may have changed apartments since then, but one quick google search of news articles he was mentioned in showed me that he still worked at the BAU in Quantico. It was probably a safe bet that my daughter did the same thing and was planning on visiting him at his office.

The plane ride there had been tumultuous, not in the sense that there was any chaotic occurrence or severe turbulence on the plan, more like in my mind. My hands shook, my foot tapped, and my mind raced while I took the long flight from Las Vegas all the way to Quantico. My mind went round in circles whether or not I viewed Spencer meeting my daughter- our daughter as a good thing. It was difficult to accept that even though they’d both most likely be mad at me, they deserved to meet. Especially since I knew how good of a father Spencer could potentially be. Once I had landed I didn’t stop, getting a cab straight from the airport to where the BAU offices were located.

The building looked daunting in front of me. It wasn’t a skyscraper by any means, but the task that I was here to do was so big it felt like one as I stared at it while trying to work up the courage to go in. The guilt however, was too hard to ignore.

My mind was on autopilot as I told the secretary at one of the front desks. It was too stressful to focus on worrying, so exhausted from the emotional roller coaster I was riding. An agent had assured me that she was safe which made some of the stress melt from my shoulders luckily.

“Here she is.” The agent gestured to the office, empty of any other person except my daughter. I felt even more relieved now that I saw her with my own eyes.

When I entered she waited a second before speaking timidly with disappointment, “He’s not here, he's on a case.” Her demeanor had deflated almost immediately as she saw me escorted up.

“Who told you that?” My arms crossed around my chest, nervous and furious all at once. I didn’t need to tell my daughter how in trouble she was, by the pout on her face she knew she’d be getting grounded for a long time even if I did let her talk to him.

“This nice lady named Garcia, she works with him. But, she did tell me I had to wait for you until she called him” For the first time since I had read her letter to me I cracked a smile. When we had still been communicating, Spencer often wrote and spoke about his teammates. Besides a fleeting photo of the team shown to me by him while I had been over here visiting, all my perceptions of the team and how they might look were all based on my imagination.

Despite that, when a vibrantly dressed woman clicked her heels into the room, I knew it was her. Spencer had perfectly described her, shining bright compared to the dull colors of the bureau’s office.

“So your Spencer’s baby mama.” Yep, she was definitely as blunt and beautiful as Spencer had described. I blanched at her comment, though I didn’t deny it, which was all she needed to know to confirm.

“Can you give me his number?” I skittered past the question, not wanting to confirm it out loud.

She beamed brightly at me, already starting to punch in the numbers with the phone on the desk in front of me. “You can call him now if you want on this phone, they just stopped working for the day.”

When she handed me the phone, it had already started ringing. I couldn’t help but panic, almost refusing the phone until my daughter nudged me forward to grab it. My finger trembled severely as I wrapped my hands around the phone, but I still managed to hold on to bring it up to my ear just as someone picked up the phone.

“Hello?” It was him, he sounded so similar to the boy you knew, that boy was a man now. He sounded more haggard compared to sixteen years ago; I wondered what all had happened since then.

“Hey- Spencer it’s me.” By the hitch in his voice that came through the speaker, he knew who it was.

At first I heard nothing from him, only some rustled feedback in the speaker. My shoulders were practically at my ears now afraid he might hang up. He did eventually stumble out a greeting, “H-hi? Why are you calling me after all these years- aaand on a phone at my work?”

“I’ve got to be honest with you,” I cryptically answered with an evident shake in my voice. I was biting my nails now, not caring if I chipped the polish on them. My daughter grabbed my hand to comfort me even though she was probably still furious at me which helped coax out my next statement, “cause I haven’t told you why I stopped talking to you…” I breathed in deeply once before I finally admitted the secret I had held for so many years, “Spencer, you have a daughter, she just turned sixteen.”

Dead silence was all I got, that was until I heard a choked out sob from him, “Why?”

He didn’t need to elaborate any further, it was quite clear what he was asking. Again another meek shaky reply came from me, “There were a lot of reasons- the main one was I didn’t want to hold you back.”

My daughter was now crying as was I, I hadn’t given her my reasoning until now. Maybe one day I’d give Spencer all the reasons why I had hidden it from him for so many years even though it was painful. I had held a lot of guilt about not ever contacting him again or even sending another letter. Spencer deserved to know everything, especially about his daughter who was the spitting image of him in almost every way.

“Can I talk to her?” I agreed, which seemed to surprise my daughter. I think she thought I’d be furious enough with her to not let her speak to him. She would still be getting many privileges taken away from her, just not this one as it was my fault she never knew her father in the first place. My fingers shook even more as I moved to click the speaker button so he could hear her speak.

“Hi- dad.” They spoke for a while, while I took the back seat, barely interjecting. They both deserved every ounce of father and daughter time that I had deprived them from throughout the years. My chest did feel lighter now that I had told him, now that my daughter was getting the chance to know him. Hearing them laugh and giggle with each other almost immediately only cemented how much she was her father’s daughter.

When the phone was handed back to me, after seemingly hours of talking (Garcia had even popped in a few times to get me more coffee) Spencer asked,“Can you stay in Quantico till I get back?”

I smiled, happy that I’d finally be able to see and remember his face again after all this time, “We’ll be here waiting, it’s time you meet your daughter in person.”

Ask Me Anything

—

Tag lists (fill out this form to join): If your url has a strike through it means tumblr won’t let me tag you- check in your settings if you allow yourself to be searchable

All works: @shotarosleftpinky @oreogutz @90spumkin @kyra-morningstar @s1utformgg @boxofsparklingmuses @multixfandomwriter @takeyourleap-of-faith

All MGG characters: @muffin-cup @willowrose99 @princesssmooshie @peterpanouat @anaagraceeberr @ashcakes1918 @reid-me-a-story @cosmic-psychickitty

Spencer Reid/CM: @calm-and-doctor @destiny-tsukino @safertokiss @slutforthegubes @onlyhereforthefanfics @jareauswifey @princesssmooshie @peterpanouat

Letters Series: (Group of Unlinked fluff fics about Spencer and letters): @whoreforthebau @sierraraeck @90spumkin

#spencer reid #spencer reid angst #spencer reid x reader #matthew gray gubler x reader #matthew gray gubler #matthew gray gubler fluff #mgg #mgg x reader #criminal minds #criminal minds x reader #30 fics in 30 days

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thegirlwhobrokeintothetardis · 4 years ago

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Tricked Into It (Greg Gerwitz x Reader)

Word Count: 1,957

Pairing: Greg Gerwitz aka Mouse x Reader

Summary: Ever since your last breakup with someone who cheated and abused the love you had for them, you have been wary of dating. And it doesn’t help when your friend Kim Burgess won’t stop pestering you about some cute techie guy at the 21st District.

Warnings: talk of bad relationship (cheating, emotional abuse, PTSD from the relationship), descriptions of what might be an anxiety attack (I described feeling anxious but it ended up bordering on what could have almost been an attack.)

A/N: So I am working on a Kelly Severide Imagine, but I’m a but stuck on it so I came up with the idea that I take the last imagine I wrote, the other Mouse Imagine and make it into a little series of one shots, mainly cause I wanted to explore the relationship of Mouse and this librarian!reader. So this is a sort of prequel to the first Mouse imagine, how they first met which is talked about in the other imagine.

HERE is the first Librarian!Reader fic if you want to check it out!!

If you want to be added to my tags, just ASK!!

“Kim, I swear to god!”

You slammed your book shut with a snap and looked up at the Chicago police officer, aka Kim Burgess aka your best friend, in front of you. She looked almost as annoyed as you felt, rolling her eyes and sitting down on your couch across you in your reading chair. Kim had come over after her shift at the 21st District ended, and only after a couple of minutes of peace, Kim started up on her latest crusade; your love life.

“Y/N...”

“No! I get that you care, believe me, but I don’t need you trying to set me up with someone.” You said with a heavy sigh.

Kim scooted closer to you and leaned forward, trying to catch your eye which was avoiding hers, “Hey,” She paused and waited for you to look her in the eye, “I just want you to be happy. And I think this guy is a good match for you. Much better than -”

“Don’t say their name.”

“...Fine. But Mouse is so your type!”

You were about to start arguing again when her words actually registered into your head, “His name is Mouse? There is no way that this cop’s name is Mouse.”

“Okay one, he isn’t a cop. He is a tech expert that works with Intelligence, a civilian hired by the unit and the department. And two, Mouse is just what everyone calls him, its a nickname from when he was younger.” Kim explained.

“Tech guy?”

“Yeah, crazy smart when it comes to hacking and stuff like that. He got the job after hacking into Voight’s cell phone in like a couple of seconds. And he was in the Rangers with Jay, plus he is pretty funny and cute.”

You looked away from Kim as you thought it through. Clearly Kim was just looking out for you, but there was no way this guy, this super-smart-tech-genius-ex-ranger, could ever be interested in someone like you. You were just a simple librarian at Chicago Public Library, living alone aside from your cat companion, Geraldine. You hadn’t done anything extraordinary with your life, and as your thought process started to spiral in an anxious tizzy, you started to shake your head.

“No, no I can’t see this guy. He wouldn’t want to get stuck with some boring librarian.” You said, your body shrinking in on itself as your self confidence crumbled. All the comments your ex significant other made to you while you were still dating came popping up into your mind one after the other after the other. Comments on your weight, your looks, how you were boring and that was why they stepped out and cheated on you any chance they could. Tears were misting in your eyes and you tried blinking them away, not wanting to cry in front of Kim.

“Y/N-”

“I mean it Kim. Drop it.”

Kim looked you over and saw how you had retreated into yourself, clearly looking uncomfortable with the topic. That’s when she sighed and nodded, forcing a small smile on her face, “Okay.”

---

A week has passed since the confrontation with Kim about that techie guy, and you were slowly trying to purge the whole instance from your head and get back to your quiet life. Every once in a while, the conversation would slide to the forefront of your mind, along with your anxiety-fueled spiral about your ex, and you would try and shake away the ordeal. It had made you feel small and disgusting thinking about your ex and how your self worth was diminished because of them, and you never wanted to go back to that place again. Even if that meant never being in another relationship again.

On Friday, you had gotten a text from Kim around midday about having a girl’s night and heading out to have a drink at Molly’s, this pub which had become pretty popular with the cops of the Intelligence Unit. You had been once before, and one of the owners, Gabbie Dawson, was really nice to you when Kim introduced her. So you agreed, excited to go out and hang out with Kim.

Once you got out of work around 6, you got back to your small one bedroom apartment and fed Geraldine before retreating to your room to figure out what to wear. You settled on a pair of slender black pants and a long sleeved dark green blouse matched with a pair of green heels. Once you showered, dried and got your hair the exact way you like it, added a little makeup and got dressed, it was time to head out and meet Kim at Molly’s. You drove to the neighborhood where the pub was, some cars already lining the streets letting you know that Molly’s would probably be busy.

You parked, and hurried to get inside, pulling your winter coat around you a litter tighter as a gust of wind tried to chill you to the bone. The November night air was lung chilling and while you weren’t dressed like those young twenty-somethings with short dresses and no coats, you still did not want to waste another second with the wind chill. Once you got in, you saw that your assumption about the pub being busy was right, many people scattered around the bar, others in groups were seated or standing next to tables against the other wall. You looked around, trying to catch Kim’s face in the crowd but having trouble with how crowded. You pealed off your coat and made your way to the bar where you saw an older man behind the counter, cleaning off a glass.

“Excuse me?” You said, slipping into the space in front of the bar, and accidentally grazing your arm against the guy sitting down to your right, “Oh sorry.” You said quickly to the guy, not really looking in his direction so you didn’t notice when he started staring at you in awe.

“What can I get ya?” The older man said as he put the glass down and gave you his full attention.

“I know this is probably a long shot, but my friend comes to this bar a lot and I was just wondering if you’ve seen her tonight? Kim Burgess?”

“Ah! I know Burgess. From the 21st District?”

“Yeah! Yes, that’s her.”

The man smiled before turning around and grabbing something from behind the bar and then turned back to you, “I haven’t seen her, but she called about 5 minutes ago saying that her friend would be stopping by tonight. She also said to get her a vodka cranberry on her and to give her this.”

He handed you a napkin and then turned away, most likely to get your drink ready. You looked down at the napkin with a rough note written on it, reading out loud the note, “Hey, something came up super last minute, have a drink on me and enjoy the night. Sorry, --Kim.”

“Sorry about that, kid.” The man said as he returned with your drink, giving you a warm smile that also had a hint of pity in it.

“No problem. It’s not your fault.”

With one more smile he headed towards the other end of the bar, leaving you with your drink. You let out a sigh and brought the drink to your lips, trying to figure out what you were going to do next when a voice from next to you started speaking.

“You’re friends with Burgess?”

Looking over, it was the guy you had apologized to earlier. Now that you weren’t in a rush to find Kim, you got a good look at him. He had brown hair, you could almost consider it floppy-like if it didn’t also have a clean-cut feel to it. The man’s eyes were bright blue, and they looked at you with a mix of intrigue and surprise. He was wearing a blue button-up which matched his eyes, the first few buttons undone.

“Yeah, do you know her?” You asked. He nodded and looked down to his beer bottle, his fingers anxiously playing with the paper label.

“I-I work with her at the district.” He explained. “Are you one of her flight attendant friends?”

“No, god no. I’m a librarian at the Chicago Public Library.”

“Oh, that’s cool.”

“You don’t have to lie. I know it’s boring..”

“No! I genuinely think it’s cool. I-I mean I’m not a huge book guy myself but-but I did read a lot of Shakespeare in school and that was really cool, especially the-the one about the guy who dressed as a woman to hide from a mob or something and everyone thought he was a witch?” The guy rambled, his face flushing as he tried to save himself. You smirked at the clumsiness of his words and took a drink of your cocktail.

“The Merry Wives of Windsor?” You offered, and the guy snapped at the name.

“Yeah, yeah. The whole play now that I think about it went over my head at 16. But I was too interested in the Blackhawks and code. Like-Like the game that happened the other night, I was invested until that left winger from the Rangers totally checked Hartman and they put-”

“Hartman in the penalty box! Yes!! With only 3 minutes left on the clock and the take out the best right winger on the ice.” You jumped in, a smile growing on your face as the topic of hockey came up. “If he was still playing the Blackhawks would have got at least 2 more points and would have won instead of losing to the worst team in the league.”

The guy sputtered his drink and starts laughing, and immediately think its cause you had embarrassed yourself and he was laughing at you, not what you said. That was until he smiled at you and nodded his head.

“I couldn’t have said it better myself.”

You felt a small fluttering in you chest when he smiled, something about him not making you nervous or anxious which was a change. With a smile on your own face, you put your hand out to him, “I’m Y/N by the way. Y/N L/N.”

“Greg Gerwitz.” Greg took your hand and shook it, lingering for a couple extra seconds before pulling away. “Or you can call me Mouse.”

You froze as he said that, your eyes widening in shock. He seemed to see your reaction and frowned, “Or not?”

“No, sorry.” You said quickly, trying to recover. “It-Its just that Burgess has been trying to set me up with you for the last few weeks.”

“Wait...oh! You’re that librarian! Burgess has been telling me about you too.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, says how you are the best person ever and that I would like you the minute we met.” He chuckled. Greg smirked and turned more towards you, “And she wasn’t wrong.”

You flushed, feeling the heat of your blush against your cheeks as his smirk widened. It was quiet between the two of you as the pub continued with it’s noise like it wasn’t watching the start of something amazing. Greg then spoke up, getting your attention again, “Hey, I know this might seem fast but I really like talking to you.”

“I really like talking to you too.”

“Really?” He asked, his face getting red again as his smirk melted away into a nervous smile, “Well, what would you say about a date? Maybe the Blackhawks game tomorrow?”

It took quicker than you thought, but all your anxiety from the week before seemed like a long lost bad dream and you just wanted to spend some time with Greg Gerwitz.

“I would love to.”

ONE CHICAGO TAGS: @carnationworld

NORMAL TAGS: @l4life @ithoughtiwasflying

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entamewitchlulu · 2 years ago

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hi there, coming from ao3 (user featheryDragons if I ever end up commenting - I'd leave this all as a comment but this is about your works as a whole) - I recently got back into yugioh after a long absence from it (not because I disliked it or anything I just easily get obsessed with new fandoms out of the blue and put old ones on the backburner until I stumble ass backwards into an old one again. like in the case of yugioh), specifically gx but to a much greater extent arc v, and as part of my search for Content I've been reading a lot of the 'classics' which includes slowly binging through your arc v (and gx) works! Which leads me to here and what I wanted to say, which is that I'm really enjoying your stuff - I love the way characters are written, how they interact, the fun worldbuilding (in the case of AUs), the prose in general, everything about them (sidenote: thanks for having stuff where Zarc isn't a complete jackass lmao). honestly, it's just a big comfort to read through your stuff, because I was really into arc v and the fandom when it was still airing (and I was in high school, christ), so it's a little saddening bc I remember when the fandom was a lot more active (though I'm still thankful that even if there's less clicks, there's still content being made on tumblr and ao3. and twitter far as I can tell, though I don't go there), but going through your works is a huge comfort by letting me revisit the characters and world of arc v, and in the case of some of the fics, a bit nostalgic in a way since I'm rereading the stuff I read from another era of my life.

lmao this got a lot more rambly than I thought it would, sorry for the giant paragraph. I guess what I'm saying is - thank you for all of your yugioh writing! Regardless of whether you've stopped writing (for yugioh or in general), or if you're just taking a break, or if you're still writing (which in that case godspeed but remember to take a break!), I wanted you to know that your works did and currently are getting me through some lonely times and have made me really happy! I'm currently working through some of the shorter works, and I really look forward to rereading some stuff and starting on fics I never read (the hippodrum and dispersion fics come to mind - how did I never see those?), and if you don't mind comments on years old fic, I guess you can expect to see some comments? (assuming another fandom doesn't completely take control of my brain in the intervening time. sonic and pokemon unfortunately released new games) thanks again, and I hope 2023 goes well for you!

oh geez, this was an extremely lovely surprise to find in my inbox ;w; i'm so glad you've been enjoying my backlog, and welcome back to the yugioh corner! (i get ya on the fandom switching haha, i have been there myself lol) (and holy sheez....has it been that long since arc v aired?? that hurts lol)

I'm so happy to hear that my works can still give you some of that arc v dosage; i feel the same about how the fandom has definitely quieted down over the years, but we're still here puttering away - and at least it's not so loud on the ppl complaining front now, haha.

i know it's been like...oh my god has it been so long since i've updated anything?? T-T but i'm definitely not abandoning anything! I want to finish all the stuff I have up right now, and I have plenty of other ideas and things, I've just needed I guess a much longer break than I thought. getting messages like this really does help refill that motivation fuel gauge though, so thank you so much for taking the time to share!

I definitely never mind comments on fic no matter how old it is; i truly hope ao3 lasts a while and that the things i write can help make ppl happy for a long time to come and it's always gonna make my day to see a comment. thank you so much again for sending such a sweet message and i really hope you have an absolutely excellent 2023 too! <333

#submission #happy tag

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spencers-dria · 4 years ago

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Feels Like The First Time Part 2 of 2

Spencer x fem reader

18+ ONLY Smut, Fluff, and a little humor

Content/Trigger Warnings: teasing, oral both receiving, penetrative sex w/o condom, creampie

This was for a fic swap hosted by @imagining-in-the-margins written for my dear friend @andiebeaword ! Here is the smut you’ve been waiting for, go forth and be horny.

It’s been two whole weeks since Spencer ran out of my apartment, no explanation. I was worried I had made him uncomfortable, pushed him too far. I had started to see him in a new light and just wanted to test out if he might feel the same. A back scratch turned sensual massage had seemed a good idea at the time. He even seemed to enjoy it, right until he jumped up and ran out. I had even heard him let out a small moan, causing the damp spot in my panties to soak through more.

Just as I was about to call him and apologize, I received a message explaining that he had been away on a case and was looking forward to coming over again this weekend, as usual. I let out a sigh of relief. I would test out the waters, and if he didn’t seem upset or nervous, I would proceed with my plan to bring him out of his shell. I hope to nudge him towards making some kind of move, anything. I have to know where he stands.

When Friday night arrives, Spencer knocks at my door, on time as usual. He enters, hands full of burgers, fries, and shakes.

“How about we watch a movie tonight instead?” I ask as we sort through who gets which food.

“Sure” he flashes me a warm smile, as he takes his food into the living room.

He doesn’t seem nervous. There’s no signs of discomfort. Maybe he was okay with what happened last time. Maybe we could take it further? I move forward with my plan, knowing I will stand down at any signs of discomfort. I never want to push him into anything he doesn’t want.

“I’m gonna get comfortable first, okay?” I say as I set my food down on the coffee table.

Spencer nods, looking up at me as he downs his fries and shake. I can’t help but giggle at the sight.

So freaking adorable I think to myself.

After slipping off my bra, I quickly change into one of my largest pajama t shirts, hanging so low that it would easily cover any pair of shorts. However, I take my shorts off, opting for a silky pair of soft green panties, with edges of lace. I look myself over in the mirror once more, satisfied with my end result.

I put on my most innocent look as I strut my way back into the living room. Spencer has finished his food, leaving him to sip on the remains of his shake. I take in a breath and with all the confidence I can muster, I set myself down right in his lap. I feel his body stiffen as he decides what his next move will be. I sink my body back towards him, relaxing as I pretend to focus on the movie instead. After a minute, I feel his hands settle on my hips. I also can’t help but take notice of the ever growing bulge that has made itself at home against my thigh.

He likes this. He definitely likes this. If he was uncomfortable he may not have had the guts to say so, but there would have been stuttering, fidgeting, anything but this. I decide to make things a little more interesting as I lean forward to stretch my arms out during a yawn, making sure to wiggle my hips in the process.

Just as I suspected, I hear a small whimper leave his lips. Once I settle back into his torso, I slide my hand down to cover his, still at home on my hips. My thumb begins to rub small circles on the back of his hand, desperate for any kind of movement and intimate touch. It’s only a moment before I feel his hands move down to my thighs before he slowly drags his fingers back up towards my hips. His breath hitches in his throat as his fingers discover the delicate silk and lace instead of a pair of shorts.

I decide to swivel myself in his lap, daring to meet his hungry gaze. I take a moment to study his features, brushing my fingers through his curls, trailing along his jawline, and finally brushing my thumb over his plump bottom lip. Much to my surprise, he opens his mouth, looking up at me with a look I instantly recognize, submission. I give into his silent request, laying my thumb over his tongue before his lips wrap around it. He closes his eyes and sucks hungrily.

I can’t help but coo at him “mmm so needy for me aren’t you baby boy?”

Just as I expect, his eyes shoot open, pupils blown with lust at the new nickname as he moans around my finger. I feel Spencer’s hips jolt up involuntarily, giving me some much appreciated friction. I remove my thumb from his mouth, causing him to whine at the loss. I take hold of his chin, pulling up until he’s looking directly in my eyes.

“I have to ask you, Spencer, is this what you want? Are you okay with us having sex?”

“Yes!” He blurts out, shrinking back from embarrassment at his own enthusiasm, following it with a small whisper “Please.”

“Okay. You can change your mind at any time. You have to tell me if you don’t like something or want to stop anything. You can also ask for things okay? Just promise to keep communicating with me.”

“I promise.”

I go back to running my fingers through his curls, Spencer immediately leaning into the contact.

“You told me awhile back you were still a virgin. Is that still true?”

His eyes fall to his lap, and I see all excitement and confidence fade away as he nods in response.

I lean in to kiss his forehead before settling mine against it, raising my eyes to meet his once more.

“Listen to me, Spence. I don’t care about that one bit. I just wanted to know how to proceed, okay? I actually like the idea of teaching you a few things, if you’ll let me. I think we could have a lot of fun.”

The sparkle is back in his eyes as he gives me a shy smile. “I’m ready”.

“Okay so we’re gonna use the color system since it’s easy to remember. Green means keep going. Yellow means stop what we are doing and try something else. Red means we stop completely, okay?”

“Red. Yellow. Green. Got it.”

I lean back to properly look at him once more, savoring every moment, the feeling of the air between us as anticipation builds. Before I have a chance to lean back in, Spencer wraps my face in his hands, pulling me into a passion-fueled kiss. I decide to let him lead this part, hoping his confidence will build before we enter new territory. It isn’t long before his tongue is slipping into each kiss, inviting mine to join in. As tensions rise, the kisses grow more eager until we are grinding against one another moans escaping both our lips.

He grabs at the hem of my shirt before timidly asking for permission. I smile and nod, lifting my hands as he pulls it over my head. He’s surprised to find me lacking yet another clothing item as he takes in the sight of my bare breasts, only inches from his face.

“Do you want to touch them?”

He nods with excitement, looking up at me with puppy dog eyes. How could I possibly do anything but give into his every desire?

“Go ahead” I say, smiling down at him. It’s like watching a child open their presents on Christmas. It is all so new to him, and he doesn't even try to hide his excitement. His hands move from my hips to slide up my back until they’re resting behind my shoulders. He gently pulls me forward as he leans in to nibble, suck, and kiss every inch of skin he can get his mouth on. It doesn’t take long before he takes my nipple into his mouth, sucking passionately at the sensitive skin as he uses his hand to knead the skin on my other breast. He looks up at me with need as he moans around my breast, tongue flicking back and forth.

I let my head fall back as I moan through the pleasure. Something about Spencer, his innocence, his neediness, is making every touch shoot straight through me like a bolt of lighting, sparks electrifying each and every nerve. Once I feel his teeth bite down, I can’t help but hiss from the pain and pleasure as my fingers find a grip in his hair.

“Fuck baby” I barely find the breath to say.

A smug grin tugs at the corners of his mouth as I push him back into the couch.

I lean in to whisper into his ear “my turn”, sending a shiver through his body.

I’m biting and sucking on his neck in the places I know will drive him wild. It’s moments before I have his shirt off, dragging my nails down his chest to mark him as my own. It’s important to me that Spencer feels he has some control over his first experience, so I take a moment to look deep in his eyes before asking, “what would you like to try first?”

“Can you um- well do you think I could get-you know?”

His eyes dart nervously between my eyes and his lap as he tries his best to ask for what he wants.

“Are you asking me to give you a blowjob baby?”

Spencer gives a quick nod, his curls falling in his face.

“How about I start and if you’re a real good boy and do what I say, I’ll let you fuck my face? How does that sound?”

All I can hear is a series of moans and what sounds like the word “amazing” mixed in with a few curses.

I grab his hand, leading him to the bedroom as he follows along, willingly and wide-eyed. I waste no time sinking to my knees as I undo his belt and pants, never once breaking eye contact. The need in his eyes, the desperation to feel my mouth on him, he couldn’t hide it if he wanted to.

I’m on my knees in seconds and the first thing to draw my eyes away from his is inches away from my face. I start by pressing a few gentle kisses to the top before letting my spit dribble down the sides and spreading it with a few strokes of my hand. One lick from base to tip with my eyes locked back in on his and he’s already quivering at the knees.

Spencer savors the first few minutes as I do all the work, moving my tongue and lips in new and interesting ways just to keep him on his toes. I finally pull his hands up and into my hair, giving him a look to signal I am handing him the reigns. He starts off gentle, slow. How very Spencer of him. I make sure to give him a show, moaning to show him just how much I am enjoying the feeling of him thrusting his hips into my face. My moans eventually emboldened him to pick up his pace as he begins to hit the back of my throat. Tears are streaming down my cheeks but the look in my eyes screams fuck me harder.

Suddenly my skin grows cold as Spencer pulls away, and I miss the feeling of having him touch me in any way. My first concern is Spencer as I quickly stand to check on him.

“What’s wrong Spence? Are you okay? You need to stop or take a break?”

He shakes his floppy curls, giggling a bit through a smile he can’t hide. He reaches over to hold my hands in his before gaining the confidence to look my in the eyes while asking his question.

“That’s not where I want to finish. Plus, all the literature leads me to believe we need to help you cum, first.” The light blush dusting his cheeks deepens at his admission. I almost moan out loud simply from hearing those words from his mouth. Just when I think I can’t get any more turned on, he continues.

“Can I- I mean is it alright if I try to- it’s just I’ve never-“

My eyes follow his line of sight, all the way down to the hem of my panties. I can’t help but blush knowing I’m not only Spencer’s first time, but he also wants to take things on to his own hands and pleasure me as well. Whoever gets to sleep with him from now on will be one lucky woman.

“Only if you really want to. Tonight is all about you okay, anything you want or don’t want, it’s your call.”

“Oh! Well I really want to- with you, I mean! Unless of course you’re uncomfortable in which case-“

I sweetly cut him off from digging himself into a deeper hole of anxiety with a gentle finger over his mouth. My lips brush against his ear as I whisper, “Spencer, there is nothing I want more than to have those plump lips of yours between my legs.”

The whimper he lets out really seals the deal. I am dripping and ready to go. Shimmying my way back on to the bed, I spread my legs, beckoning him closer with a single finger. Spencer swallows the lump in his throat before approaching, but once he gets a good look, he’s practically salivating. He takes his time on each leg, treating every inch of skin as though it deserves to be cherished. I close my eyes in order to take in every feeling, every kiss of his lips, every swipe of his tongue, every nibble of his teeth.

Once his arms wrap around my thighs, I feel his hot breath on my core, dripping more for him than I ever thought possible. He goes in with sweet, gentle licks, taking his time and savoring every moment. His eyes lock in on mine and I feel my pleasure increase ten fold. When he pulls away, I worry once again we have gone too far for his comfort. But his next words truly melted my heart.

“Am I uh- am I doing- okay?” He panted through heavy breaths.

“You’re doing so good for me sweet boy. It feels incredible! If you want to try something different you can try sucking on my clit, or fingering me while you keep going with your mouth.”

Spencer’s eyes light up with excitement. He’s so eager to learn. I can certainly get used to that. It’s seconds before I can tell he’s following my instructions perfectly.

“Mmhhhm just like that baby. And if you curl your fingers up just like- oh fuck! You listen so well. You’re gonna make me come so fast.”

My back arches as my impending orgasm barrels towards me. Anything I say at this point is broken up by pants and moans and the occasional expletive. I lock eyes with Spencer once more, and I can tell he’s a man on a mission. The moans leaving him are even filthier than my own. He’s enjoying himself so much, and he wants me to know it. That is the last thought to cross my mind before I feel myself pushed off the edge. Due to Spencer’s persistence to keep going, my orgasm is dragged out for much longer than usual, waves of pleasure hitting me over and over again as I tug on his beautiful curls.

Once he’s finished his work, he crawls up the bed to lay next to me, looking over as though I am his favorite person in the world. At least I know he’s my favorite, and that will never change.

We take a moment to revel in the bliss, before I remember he hasn’t even cum yet. I roll over to look him in the eyes as I trail my fingers up and down his chest.

“Do you want to keep going or do you want to stop? It’s completely up to you.”

“Can we keep going?” He asks with a look of pure innocence on his face.

“Of course, baby,” I whisper, running my fingers through his hair and nibbling at his neck. “You can have me any way you want me.”

Spencer’s eyes grow big with excitement, and I can see the wheels turning in his head as he decides which way he wants to ravish me in most.

“Can you get on y-your hands and knees for me, p-p-please?”

Shooting him a devilish grin, I slowly push myself up into position, making sure to wriggle my hips in his face. His hands rub up my arms, fingers trailing down my back, and I can only imagine the way he is probably drooling as he takes in the view that’s so new to him. Finally his fingers sink into my hips as he lines himself up with my entrance.

“Are you sure it’s ok?”

I glance back over my shoulder to give him a reassuring smile.

“Yes Spencer, I promise.”

“Wait! Are you still on that um- do you still have that IUD?”

“Mmhm. I’m okay just like this if you are.”

He’s tentative at first, whining and groaning every time he moves deeper into me.

“Y/N, you feel so g-good!”

After we both adjust to the feeling, he finds himself craving more, burying himself deeper and faster. The slapping of wet skin mingled with our moans is music to my ears. He surprises me by wrapping his fingers through my hair, giving a sharp tug, and I can’t even help the filthy moan that escapes me.

“Spence yes, fuck me harder! You’re doing so, so good for me!”

I feel the soft skin of his chest against my back, his hot breath on my neck, as he moves to be even closer to me, buried in me. I revel in the way he paws at my breasts and kisses my neck with such desperation, desperate to feel every inch of me, desperate for his release, desperate to cause mine.

Spencer says it so quietly I almost miss it.

“You’re so perfect.”

He’s got one last surprise in store for me as his fingers trail down to the one place that will send me toppling over the edge.

“Fuck Spence! Fuck fuck fuck-“

“Come for me Y/N,” Is the last thing I hear, whispered in my ear with such surprising confidence that my knees give out as my body trembles, his hands holding my hips tight against him. His name is the only word I can bring myself to say, over and over- and over.

I feel him pull out before he softly asks me to lay on my back. I’m confused, until I glance up to see the way he’s looking down at me so lovingly as he puts himself back where he belongs, inside of me. He begins again with more confidence than the first time, but he’s less hurried, less animalistic. I feel only love coming from him, whether it’s from the slow but steady thrust of his hips, the way he’s looking into my eyes, or the deep passionate kisses that just keep coming.

“So beautiful.” Spencer says it as though it’s fact, looking at me like I’m the only person he ever wants to be with.

I close my eyes to revel in the amazing feeling of our bodies intertwined. I know he’s close as high-pitched whines begin to leave his lips once more. I have to give him props- he’s lasted longer than I expected. Deciding to give him the same courtesy of helping him along, I bring my fingers up into his hair, pulling him down for one last kiss before I speak up.

“Spence, fuck- Be a good boy and come inside me!”

That’s all it takes. He’s holding himself against my hips, buried deep inside me, filling me up in the best possible way. It’s never felt quite like this before. It’s enough to bring me right along with him. I’m in a daze over the way it feels pulsating around him. Next thing I know, we’re sharing needy, sweet, wet kisses between desperate attempts to catch our breath.

Once I’ve gone to the bathroom and helped him clean up, we are able to take in the weight of what we have just done, knowing our relationship will never be the same. I find myself suddenly shy outside of the situation that gave me so much bravery. I’m worried that the new discovery of what we could be together will be the first and the last.

“So, how was your first time? Was it worth it?”

A small giggle leaves his lips before he leans in, gracing my cheeks with the touch of his hands to pull me in for a completely overwhelming kiss.

“Even more perfect than I could have hoped for. And Y/N, I think every time with you will feel like the first time.”

Tag list: @cielo1984

#spencer reid x fem!reader #dr spencer reid #criminal minds #first time #feels like the first time #Spencer #spencer x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid

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eurydicees · 3 years ago

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theatre club au time!!! i’m back with the romeo and juliet edition of “eurydicees just write the fucking fic instead of daydreaming about it”

theatre club au hcs are also here: part one and part two!!

disclaimer: there was absolutely no editing nor proofreading here, i’m watching romeo + juliet and haven’t read the real script in years, and i really don’t know what i’m talking about

so. for the fall show, one year, they decide to do romeo and juliet, because obviously, you know?

renge directs, kyoya is her stage manager

hikaru is romeo, haruhi is juliet; tamaki is mercutio, kaoru is benvolio; idk about the rest of the cast, let’s pretend they don’t matter for the sake of this list (filing the rest of the cast list under: problems for when i actually write this stupid fic)

honey is on lighting, mori is on set and stage combat, mei is on props and costumes, kasanoda is on sound

so in the ouran theatre club, there’s not really a big rivalry between techies and actors because there’s only a few of them, so they all switch between roles so often (ex. kaoru is 50% actor and 50% costumes; tamaki is 50% actor, 50% director)

HOWEVER. then, right before the fall production of r&j, hikaru says some dumbass comment about actors having more work to do than techies, and being more important, etc. etc. some bullshit like that

and this causes a HUGE rift in between the techies and the actors for this show specifically— they’re all mad at each other bc of this comment; kaoru is pissed at his brother, kyoya thinks that tamaki endorsed said comment, hikaru isn’t sure why he said it in the first place, haruhi thinks this is all ridiculous but kaoru is being an asshole about it and so they’re mad at him; etc. etc.

so this show is uh. not coming together very well, because no half wants to work with the other half, and none of them are talking to each other

then. THEN. THEN. THEN.

tamaki and kyoya fall in love.

they start a secret affair together, telling no one, because they know that everyone in the club is mad at everyone else, and saying that they’re dating is just gonna add fuel to the fire, especially bc it’s an actor/sm relationship, which is a bit weird (it’s high school, though, so whatever. once this all blows over, they’ll be a #powercouple)

things come to a head during one rehearsal, where they’re doing mercutio’s death scene

so tamaki is acting. he’s going all out. like. he’s giving this speech as if it’s the last performance he’ll ever give. it’s brilliant. beautiful. stan.

and when he’s done, mei makes some comment about it “needing lights to make it look any good,” as if he can’t make it good on his own, and tamaki is so hurt by this. like. so hurt.

renge calls for the end of rehearsal, bc hikaru is abt to like. go to war in defense of tamaki’s acting, and kaoru is just mad at hikaru, so he’s also ready to argue (bc they’re at a good enough place in their relationship to do that!!!)

kyoya, in an attempt to cheer him up, brings tamaki out for dinner, but they have to be discreet, so they go to some commoner place. this is where all the pining Hits. then they finally, finally, actually start dating.

as we go through the rehearsal and production meeting process, the scenes that they rehearse are interspersed with fluffy scenes of tamakyo falling in love, idk how all that would get worked in right, but it would make it in there because fuck it, yk?

the rivalry was kind of simmering for a while, but then they doing their stop and go rehearsal, which is always an rip, but here it’s the first time in a hot sec that the entire production team and the actors are in the same room

the actors keep goofing off and moving around, so honey can’t get things quite where he needs them; the actors are talking loudly, so kasanoda is fucked (but too shy to say something abt it, until mori tells honey, who tells renge, who stands up for them all)

and a (verbal) fight breaks out— kyoya, the eversuffering sm is losing his mind over here.

he is done with this shit

so he calls hold, and renge gives a speech about cooperation, and then everyone kind of shuts down. no on is having fun with being in theatre anymore. kasanoda is two insults away from quitting. mei is two broken seams away from physically fighting someone.

things are not going well

after rehearsal, tamaki and kyoya have their standing secret date night at some commoner’s place, idk where yet, we’ll figure that out when this actually gets written as a fic, and then. that’s when they get caught.

it’s renge who finds them— and she’s angry. she goes on this whole rant about professionalism. the stage manager cannot be dating an actor. it’s a conflict of interest. it’s unprofessional. it’s scandalous. she will not have it in her theatre.

then tamaki points out. that she is here on a date with haruhi.

fuckin’ hypocrite.

the four of them have a cute double date bc fuck it. i make the rules now. and they realize that this is bullshit and they’re never going to pull together a show if they keep on arguing like this

but they don’t really know how to fix it????

it eventually kind resolves itself when renge, who cannot keep a secret for the life of her, accidentally reveals that she and haruhi are dating— they’re in the dressing room, and renge just kisses them, not realizing that kaoru and mei are arguing over kaoru’s costume in there

everyone is very upset for a moment, until they crack because kaoru and mei are both kinda hopeless romantics, and a star-crossed love is exactly what they needed to make the show come together

meanwhile, tamaki and hikaru are practicing mercutio’s queen mab monologue (for the #drama of the moment), and kyoya is taking notes or w/e, and when they pause, hikaru asks abt tamaki’s inspiration for his acting and what feelings he’s drawing on

and tamaki is just like *looks at kyoya* “i have my own love”

i’m gonna be honest i super worked myself into a hole here and i have absolutely no idea how to end this

unlike shakespeare, i cannot kill off all the characters in order to have a resolution to my work

taking suggestions for an ending i guess. anything would be better than whatever this mess is rn

#theatre club au #ohshc #ouran high school host club #tamakyo #harurenge #god this is a mess #the ending is so cheesy and i hate it #but i suffered through these thoughts so you fuckers have to suffer through reading them

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pretchatta · 3 years ago

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prompt: holiday

dave said it's my turn to write a moons of rion fic

rating: teen; kanan jarrus/hera syndulla; 2.4k words

---

The Outer Rim planet of Rion was a tropical paradise. Beaches, bars and breathtaking views covered its surface, and the sight of the planet in the forward viewport made Kanan sigh with longing. So close, and yet so far.

It felt like he and Hera had been working non-stop for the past year. Between keeping the Ghost in fuel, the galley stocked, and working other (less well-paid, but Hera would argue more important) jobs, Kanan would like nothing more than to spend a few hours relaxing somewhere – anywhere – with Hera. They were something now; more than simply captain and crew, but exactly what that was Kanan hadn’t had time to find out.

He wouldn’t any time soon, either. This mission wasn’t even taking them to Rion itself, but to one of its moons. A quick pickup and then they’d fly straight back to Lothal to deliver it, get paid, and then move onto the next job.

Kanan sighed. “Remind me what the cargo is for this one?”

“I don’t know,” Hera replied absently as she steered the Ghost in an orbital path around Rion. Their destination appeared from behind the planet, the oceanic moon a deep blue colour dotted with small green-and-white islands. Just beyond it, its populated twin was also visible. “Vizago paid extra for discretion, but he didn’t offer me the dangerous goods fee, so I assume it’s at least safe.”

Kanan grimaced. “We’re relying on the integrity of a smuggler. I feel so reassured.”

“We need the credits, love. We’ve barely got enough fuel to make this delivery.” Hera gave the fuel gauge a worried look as the Ghost entered the moon’s atmosphere and they began their descent. Below them, taking up most of one of the smaller islands, Kanan could see a landing platform growing larger.

Hera touched the Ghost down with barely a bump. Had Kanan not realised months ago that his days of drifting were behind him, he knew he would find it very difficult to return to his old lifestyle. There were several comforts that came from crewing on the Ghost, the smooth landings being just one.

“Alright, let’s load up and get going.” Hera hit the ramp controls and led the way out of the cockpit.

Spaceport was a generous term for what greeted them outside. The battered landing platform was barely large enough for two ships, even though it took up most of the solid ground on the island, and the only permanent structure was a dilapidated single-storey hut. It looked like it was cobbled together from scrap, with the exception of the shiny solar panels stretched over the roof and the comm dish mounted haphazardly on one wall.

There were no windows, but the front door stuttered open as Kanan and Hera emerged from the Ghost. An ancient-looking prototype droid emerged, hobbling out towards them with slow, fitful steps.

“Welcome to landing site R-M2-S04,” it called out to them. Its mechanical voice was decidedly tinny. “I am C0-R4, the overseer droid for this location. Thank you for leaving your transponder on. Your ship has been identified as the Ghost.”

Droid-supervised transactions weren’t uncommon in their line of work. The handoffs were usually in remote locations like this one, and it was much cheaper to leave a droid to wait around than an organic being.

“We’re here to pick up Vizago’s shipment,” Hera told the droid.

“That is correct.” C0-R4 gave a jerky nod. “Your cargo will arrive in two days.”

“What?” Hera exclaimed. “Two days! We were told to come today, and that this job was time-critical!”

“Cikatro Vizago apologises for the unavoidable delay, but he understands that you have a fast ship.”

Hera glared at the droid, though Kanan knew her ire was in fact directed at their unreliable employer. “And what exactly are we supposed to do for the next two days?”

“I am not programmed for leisure itinerary planning,” it replied in its monotone. “I will be in low power mode until the shipment arrives. Good day.”

With that, the protocol droid turned and hobbled back into its hut. Hera stared after it in disbelief. Kanan, meanwhile, felt hope blooming in his chest.

“I know you’d rather get on with the job,” he said slowly, trying to keep his voice neutral, “but given our fuel situation, it looks like we’re staying in this system for the next two days. And since Rion’s right there…”

She turned to him with one eyebrow raised. His face must have shown more than he realised, because her eyes softened with sympathy.

“Kanan, I’d love to spend a few days on Rion with you, but we don’t have enough fuel to get there,” she said apologetically. “We barely have enough to take off and make it back to Lothal.”

Kanan was not deterred. “Okay, what about the Phantom? It has a separate fuel tank – we could take it to one of the resorts, stay for a few days and be back in time for the pickup.”

Hera shook her head. “I should probably siphon the Phantom’s fuel into the Ghost. We’re going to need it if we want the extra speed to make Vizago’s deadline.”

Kanan sighed. The captain's decision was final. “Fine. I guess we’re sitting here for two days eating stale rations. Hopefully the Ghost’s water purifier can handle the seawater.”

“Wait, rations? Don’t we have enough food?”

“We might have a couple dehydrated meal packs, but I was going to stock up when we got back to Lothal.”

Hera frowned. “I guess this is going to be a long two days.”

“It doesn’t have to be…” Kanan’s mind was racing as a new idea formed in his head. “Could you leave just enough fuel in the Phantom to make one trip to the other moon? It’s populated, and it’ll take less fuel to take off from because of the lower gravity. And right now it’s closer than Rion itself. I still have a few credits – not enough for fuel, but we could pick up some supplies, and then spend the next two days just relaxing here. It’s not exactly a luxury resort getaway, but it’s better than nothing.”

Hera looked unconvinced. “I don’t know…”

“Come on, Hera, we’ll still be able to make the delivery,” he pleaded. “And this way we can enjoy a few days of downtime! We’ve got nothing else to do, and it’s not like we’re going to get any trouble from the Empire out here.”

He could see her resolve wavering, and then–

“Okay, fine.”

Kanan resisted the urge to punch the air as she turned to walk back up the Ghost’s ramp.

“Chopper,” she called up to the cockpit, “work out the best course to the other moon, and be nice to the navicomputer this time! Then I want you to initiate a fuel transfer from the Phantom to the Ghost. Leave enough to make the trip to the other moon, Kanan and I will be going on a supply run when we get back.”

The old astromech blatted a question back at her from somewhere above them. Hera looked back at Kanan.

“We’re going for a walk,” she replied. “You’d hate it, you’d just get sand in your joints.”

Chopper made a rude noise, which Hera ignored.

“A romantic stroll along the beach, huh?” Kanan said, putting an arm around her waist.

“If we’re doing this, I should at least try to relax, and it seems like a good start.” Her arms snaked over his shoulders and around his neck, allowing him to pull her closer. Their noses brushed, lips an inch apart, but Kanan turned his head at the last moment to kiss her cheek instead.

“In that case…” he murmured against her earcone, and then dropped to his knees in front of her and gently lifted one of her knees. Hera complied, allowing him to raise her foot and slip her boot off it.

“You’re overdressed,” he continued. “Unlike Chopper, we can enjoy the feeling of sand between our toes.”

He finished removing her other boot, and looked up to see her smiling fondly down at him. He quickly shed his own boots, leaving both pairs just inside the cargo hold, and as an afterthought added his gloves. Hera did the same, allowing Kanan to take her bare hand and lead them back outside.

The beach was only a few steps away, and they strolled leisurely over the sun-warmed sand towards the brilliant blue water. Above, the odd fluffy white cloud floated in the teal-blue sky as the late afternoon sun shone down on the island. A faint breeze blew in from the sea, cooling the air and bringing with it the smell of salt.

Kanan ran his thumb over the back of Hera’s hand as a sense of calmness washed through him. Hera was right; the walk was a great idea. The sand was soft under his feet and with every step he could feel his body relaxing.

They stopped at the water’s edge, letting the waves lap at their toes. The water wasn’t exactly warm, but neither was it cold. They stood there for a few moments in comfortable silence, enjoying the tranquility.

Hera bumped her shoulder against Kanan’s. “Thank you,” she said. “I don’t think I would have let myself have a break if I’d been on my own, but… I needed this.”

He raised his eyebrows in mock astonishment. “Are you saying what I think you're saying?”

She rolled her eyes at him. “You were right, dear.”

He smirked, and then leaned down to kiss her. She rose onto her toes to meet him. As with every time their lips met, Kanan felt a jolt of electricity through his stomach; he didn’t think he’d ever get used to kissing Hera Syndulla.

They resumed their walk, following the coastline. Doing a full circuit of the island wouldn’t take long. As far as Kanan could tell, there was no wildlife on this moon, but the lapping of the waves and the slide of their feet over the sand made for a perfect soundtrack.

“So, do you have anything in particular you want to pick up on this supply run?” Hera asked him.

“I thought we could get some fancy caf,” he replied, “y’know, since we're on holiday. And then something simple to eat that we could have on the beach.”

“That sounds good to me.”

He turned to give her a look. “We may be on a budget, but I like to eat out.”

She only managed to keep a straight face for a few seconds before laughing.

They were distracted from further conversation by a wide rock formation on the far side of the landing platform. Several meters tall at its highest point, it looked like it was made up of numerous pillars of dark stone, jutting upwards out of the ground and ending in flat, irregular shapes. The lower ones around the edge held small pools of water from the last high tide, but they were taller towards the middle and beyond a certain point the tops were smooth and dry. The beach continued around the edge, the sand stretching between the rocks and the sea, but the Ghost and the overseer droid’s hut were hidden from view.

They approached the rocks with interest. Kanan was only half-aware of Hera’s hand slipping out of his as he went to examine one of the rockpools and so didn't notice the mischievous look that had come over her face. By the time he realised she was no longer beside him, she had already removed the outer layer of her flight suit and folded neatly atop one of the dry pillars. He could only watch, wide-eyed and slack-jawed, as she quickly and methodically worked on the rest of her clothing.

Hera carefully added her cap and goggles to the pile she had formed and then looked up at him. His heart beat faster at the sight of so much bare green skin. With a coy smile, she held his gaze as she slipped her underwear off and let it join the rest of her clothes.

“Fancy a swim?”

She didn’t wait for an answer; Kanan wasn’t sure he was capable of giving one. She turned and ran over the beach, lekku streaming behind her, splashing into the water until it was up to her neck.

She turned back to him and yelled “Well? Are you coming?”

It was enough to jolt him out of his shock. He’d left his armour behind today, so his shirt came off easily. The rest of his clothes followed in a somewhat messier pile than Hera’s, but creases weren’t on the forefront of his mind at that moment.

Kanan took off at a sprint towards the sea. When he was about halfway to the water he leapt, giving himself an extra push that made it higher and further than a leap any ordinary human should have been able to make. Tucking his knees into his chest in mid-air, he hit the surface with a splash, sending a wall of water over Hera. The cool water enveloped his body with swirls of white and blue. He kicked at the sandy sea bed to surface next to Hera, who was sputtering in protest.

Kanan wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close.

“You did invite me in,” he reminded her. His sodden hair was slicked back against his head and water dripped from the end of his nose. Further droplets ran over Hera's bare head and down her lekku, adding to the patterns already there.

“I didn’t ask for a tsu–”

He cut off her complaints with a wet kiss. She relaxed in his arms a second later, though he knew he had’t gotten away with it; she’d be planning her payback for later. He smiled against her lips and felt her mouth curve upwards in response. It really had been too long since they’d been able to just let go like this, to enjoy their time together and not have any pressing worries or responsibilities.

The kiss deepened, and Hera’s legs wound around his waist. Whoever's idea this had been, he thought to himself, it was definitely a good one.

#kanan jarrus #hera syndulla #holiday #swoonjune2021 #moons of rion #star wars rebels #sw rebels #kanan x hera #star wars: rebels #pretchwritta #swoon june #fic #swfic #kanera

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thran-duils · 3 years ago

Text

From All Sides (P.6)

Title: From All Sides (Part Six) Summary: Fem!Reader x Dark!Pirate Tony. Tony is obsessed with a certain barmaid at port and showers her with gifts to try to bring her to his bed. She is resistant to his advances, her eyes elsewhere, specifically on her coworker, the cook. Although, that love is unrequited and always will be. The reader is forced into close quarters with Tony unexpectedly and sailing the sea, she slowly bends to his will. And he plans to give her all the affection he can to make sure she stays. Words: 2,280 Warnings (for the whole fic): Eventual smut, violence, angst, possessive behavior

Part Five || Part Seven || Masterpost (mobile) || Fanfic masterpost

“Where the hell is she?” Tony practically shouted.

They had made rounds around the inside of the cavern for the last fifteen minutes, looking in game rooms and cabins where she might be. Tony had ignored everything Steve was saying up until that point, on a rampage to find her. Much to Steve’s annoyance because he had an idea where she might be and even more so, annoying that Tony himself had left Y/N on the beach and was now mad she had wandered off. He had just wanted to drink and sit on the ship.

Grasping the opportunity of Tony standing still, Steve stepped into his sights.

“I’m sure she’s fine. Vanko said a dark-haired ‘boy’. It was probably Peter!” Steve blurted.

“Peter?” Tony demanded.

Steve saw the jealousy already swimming and he said, “Yeah. Who else would come swooping in to rescue her to make sure that no one took advantage of her? He knows she’s with you and he doesn’t want to piss his captain off. He did it for you! She’s probably with him!”

“Where’s his cabin?” Tony said.

<><><>

Peter walked with you down the sandy path. “And he just… left you down here? By yourself?” You nodded and Peter frowned.

“You don’t judge me?” you asked. He shook his head and a sad smile reached you. “I know many are not followers of religion here – myself included – but it seems the mere idea of… being with a woman would cause scorn. Casting me out.”

You had already spilled everything to Tony and telling someone else you felt close to felt now like nothing. You had held it inside for so long. And for how Tony reacted, you thought yourself perhaps wicked for how you had acted and you wanted to be clean with everyone. Peter was reacting far differently than Tony though. And that was not entirely shocking; Peter was not pining after you. He was objective.

Peter shrugged and said, “It does not bother me in the slightest. Eloise was nice.”

Nice. As if that was the only thing that mattered. Nothing else. It was so simple when he put it like that.

“Yes… she was.”

“Is,” Peter corrected, giving you a bump with his shoulder for reassurance.

“Right. Is.”

Peter asked, “Do you really want to go back to our home port? To see if she is still there? I mean… you said yourself that you did not think she would ever return the feelings. So… do you think it would be worth it? To go back to settle for that?”

You sighed heavily. You could read the undertone of his words. You had someone here that actually returned your feelings.

But then he cut you off at the knees of that thought about Tony.

“I mean, going back to port makes sense if you are looking to find Adam.”

Turning your head towards him, you met his gaze. And you could see he could see the remorse in your eyes.

His shoulders slumped and he asked, “Did you… were you never considering him?”

Reluctantly, you admitted, some tears coming, “I didn’t know how to let him down easily. He was so kind. I would feel guilty doing it, but I still felt guilty not doing it.”

“May I have your problem some day of having multiple people after me,” Peter said. Your face fell and he quickly said, “I did not mean for that to come off as crass. I can see it was hard. I was… just trying to make light. It was not the time. Sorry.”

The two of you walked in silence for a while. The waves lapped at the shore, coming close to your own feet. The sand was wet, and it felt good beneath your bare feet, your shoes held in your hand. The moonlight was reflecting off the sea, lighting the beach. You could stay here… truly. Just build a house up further in the rocks and always have the sea to look out at.

Peter was still quiet, waiting for you to initiate again. You cleared your throat.

“No. I know. I had multiple people. Some dropped off after a month or so, but they kept coming. Tony was constant. And… I knew. I knew this whole time if it was anyone, it was going to be Tony. And I don’t mean that in a last resort kind of way. It’s just the one that made the most sense. But like I told you, I’m afraid of being left behind.”

“Maybe he would not leave you behind? He’s already brought you on the ship.”

“Out of necessity. I’m sure that will change. And then I’ll just be left to wait for him.” You scoffed, suddenly angry again about your exchange with him earlier. “And he was so indignant that I loved anyone but him.”

“He’s a jealous man,” Peter commented.

“He is!” you agreed. “He cannot stand it knowing someone else was in my sights! Even Adam! He cornered him you know? I know he was threatening him. I didn’t heart it but I could see it in their body language. I was a prize for him, and he was making sure no one else would win me but him.” You inhaled deeply before admitting. “But what he said was true. I kept him dangling. Because I could not face the fact that Eloise and I were not to be. And I may have fueled his jealous behavior by continuing to flirt and giving him the hope he needed to be persistent.”

Peter looped arms with you and leaned in. “If he really likes you, he’ll get over it.”

You snorted, holding him tighter. “Tony? Get over a slight? I will live to see the day. He could not even handle it when men merely flirted with me at the tavern when he was at port and witnessed it.” You exhaled deeply and said, “I shouldn’t have told him about Eloise. I was pretty far deep in a bottle and thought maybe it would be okay, but I should have known then he would be envious. Even more so now that we have laid together.”

You suddenly blanched, realizing what you had divulged and shot Peter an embarrassed look.

Peter recovered quickly and ran a hand through his hair. “Are you happy though?”

“Mostly.”

“’Mostly’?”

“Yes. He will take care of me, is far too handsome for his own good, and he is kind enough to me. And is not… unskilled in the bedroom.” Peter’s lip upticked at the corner and you elbowed him with the arm looped, causing him to grunt before the two of you laughed. “I just wish he had not gotten so angry with me for telling him my feelings. He is possessive. And his anger is so easily lit. A very short fuse.”

Peter shrugged as if it was simple. “Then let’s just stay out. You and me. We have this whole ocean. And we can go lay on the grass up there when we are done and watch the stars.”

“That sounds romantic.”

“Trust me, Y/N. I’m not after you. Not to insult but I have my eyes set on the sea.”

You rolled your eyes, “Sounds like someone else I know.”

“And there had been a girl at port.”

That piqued your interest. “Who?”

“Mary Jane.”

“The florist?” He nodded and you smiled, grasping his hand. “You two would make a fine match.”

“If we ever go back to port, she’ll be the first one I will look for.”

“Why not request to go back? We both have someone to look for?”

Peter shook his head. “No… I think I was driven from port with events beyond my control. Right now, I need to follow the tide.” You frowned and he shrugged. “If we are meant to be, we will find each other again.”

“I wish I was so easily able to go with the flow as you,” you told him.

Peter snorted now. He pushed you towards the waterline, your feet dipping into the wave that lapped at the sore. “Come on now! Have some fun! You deserve it!”

“We’re both drunk.”

“That’ll make it this much more fun! Come on. Tony was an asshole to you, and you need to blow off some steam!”

He was right.

You dropped your shoes onto the sand, further up away from where the waves would touch them, and he followed your lead. Bending over one foot at a time, Peter pulled his shoes off and tossed them. You tore your gown off, leaving you in your shift. Your gown fluttered to the ground closer but far enough away to ensure it would not be swept away.

The water was up at your waist before Peter swooped at you and drug you under with him. Your scream was lost as you closed your mouth at the last second to make sure you did not swallow any salt water. The water was reprieve, a cold bath.

<><><>

“Well, there she is,” Sam commented, stopping on the grassy path outside the cavern. They had been hiking up it to check around the island.

He pointed down the cliffs and found Y/N only yards away from where her and Tony had been down on the beach. And there was a dark-haired boy with her. Peter, it looked like. And they were swimming together.

Tony rolled his eyes to high heaven before turning around and making to go back down.

“We need that boy. The food has been so much better with him the last couple weeks,” Steve hissed at Bucky and Sam. “Please don’t let him do anything rash. He’s still beyond drunk! Be on my side!”

Without waiting for them to answer, he turned and followed Tony quickly.

<><><>

Storming up to the edge of the waves, Tony shouted, “Y/N!”

She had just surfaced and had not heard him. He bellowed her name again over the waves and she turned her head towards him.

Her expression darkened as she recognized him, brushing her hair away from her forehead, and she shouted back, “What the hell do you want, Tony?”

Tony bristled at her attitude.

“Get out of the damn water!” he demanded, coming into the waves. “Come to my cabin!”

“No!” she snapped, still holding onto Peter’s arms. Peter was looking at Tony uncomfortably, nervous. “You’ve made your feelings clear! I’m just a whore, remember! I should sleep in any bed!”

Tony started coming through the waves, his legs dragging in the current until he was almost knee deep, stopping again. “I will not have you sleeping anywhere but my cabin! Get. Over. Here. Now!” She huffed disobediently, and he shouted, “Before I lose my fucking temper!”

His shout seemed to get through to her.

She shot Peter a look before pulling away from him. He followed her still all the same and Tony fought the monster clawing away inside his chest. As soon as she was within arm’s reach, he yanked her to him and she stumbled in the water.

“If anything makes you look like a whore, it’s being in your underdress with a man under the moonlight! And not to mention, kissing another merely an hour before!” She opened her mouth to argue and he spat, “Save it!”

He demanded you pick up your dress and shoes. You angrily followed his directions, and he took a tight hold of your wrist again, yanking you close once more. Over your shoulder, he told the men he had brought with him, “We’re going to my cabin. I’ll see you tomorrow. Thank you for your assistance. Please, grab one a bottle from the bar and put it on my tab.” They seemed to perk up that. His eyes fell on Peter and he sneered, “Get yourself dressed, boy. You’re going to be needed for breakfast sooner rather than later.”

With that, he pulled you behind him up the path towards the cavern again. But he was not taking you towards the cabins, he was taking you towards his ship. He was silent, ignoring your questioning. As soon as you were into his quarters again though, he propelled you in front of him, letting go. You stumbled, trying to catch your balance as he turned away and closed the door behind him. You threw your dress and shoes on the ground, pissed off.

He was on you in a second, a finger held up in warning. “I’ve had quite enough of your games, Y/N! I have been patient! I have given you choice and time and—FUCK! All the time in the world! You’re here with me now and that’s how it is going to stay! No more pussyfooting around!”

“I’m not pussyfooting—”

“This is where you stay,” Tony interrupted roughly, his finger pointed downwards at the hardwood of the cabin, his gaze burning into you. “You do not step foot off the ship but also, this room is where you stay!”

“I’m not a pet you can keep caged up!” you protested.

He closed the space quickly, fire burning in his eyes. “Watch me!” Tony snarled, towering over you.

You cowered back slightly, and he noticed. He was firm when he told you, “It’s just me. From now on. That’s all you get. If you really truly have feelings for me, this is your time to prove it. Stay in here! Like I just told you!” He leaned in to hiss, “Don’t test me, love! I’m done playing nice!”

He turned around furiously and strode out of his quarters, slamming the door behind him, and you jumped at the sound.

~~~

Marvel tags: @coconutqueen21 @undecidedsworld @holl2712 @agustdowney @biiskuitx @buttercupfangirl

#tony stark x reader #dark tony stark #dark!tony stark #dark marvel #my shit

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sisterspooky1013 · 4 years ago

Text

Perfect Opposites

Rating: General Audiences

Words: 1843

Find it on AO3

Tagging: @today-in-fic

It’s jealousy that fuels all the gossip, and the unkind comments. Jealousy from the men because she’ll never so much as give them a passing glance, and jealousy from the women because they feel inferior in her presence. Because thanks to her, Fox Mulder is no longer a prize to be won by new recruits. Gone are the betting pools about which young, sexy new agent would successfully take him to bed (the tall brunette always had the most bets), and numerous are the men who boasted to their buddies that they would be the one to get her number, to take her out, to fuck her, with nothing to show for it. She didn’t even bother to reject them, just ignored their attempts at small talk and walked away with a tight lipped smile, leaving their egos bruised and “ice queen” on their lips. They called him Spooky because as whacky as his ideas were, he could still charm their girlfriend into a weekend fling with minimal effort and they knew it. They were all jealous, from the seasoned senior agents to the ones fresh from Quantico. Every last one.

I’ve always taken a special interest in them, Agent Mulder and Agent Scully, given my history. I noticed Agent Mulder and Agent Fowley too, before, but I knew it wasn’t anything special. I didn’t see myself in them the way I do when I watch him with Scully. I picked up on the difference right away; how he looked at her, and touched her casually. I saw something familiar in his gaze, the sadness and the longing. She seemed oblivious to it for the first few years, always so painfully poised and professional, but eventually she caught on. While everyone else called her “ice queen” behind her back, I saw how she leaned into him when he whispered in her ear, and the quirk of a smile that played at the corners of her lips. That same sadness and longing in her eyes when she looked at him, stealing glances while he was focused on AD Skinner at the front of the room. Sometimes they’d touch the other’s knee under the table and exchange a knowing look. I can’t see through tables, but if you know what you’re looking for, you’ll find it. And I knew she wasn’t cold and without feelings. She just didn’t allow very many people in, but she allowed him in.

When Agent Fowley came back, I immediately thought of Agent Scully and how she might be feeling. She’d probably be threatened, and jealous, though she really didn’t need to be. Agent Mulder never once looked at Agent Fowley the way he looks at her, even when they were in a relationship. Even when they lived together. I guess Agent Scully doesn’t know what I know, because I saw how upset she was by Agent Fowley’s presence. The set of her jaw, the way she crossed her legs and leaned away from Agent Mulder, putting distance between them both physically and emotionally. She was protecting herself, or trying to. It’s been painful for me to watch, though I know I’m biased in wanting them to be together. I’ve told myself over and over not to get involved, that she probably doesn’t even know I exist, much less will she listen to what I have to say. She’s a private person, she would never talk to me about something she likely hasn’t even admitted to herself. My resolve crumbled, though, the day I saw her crying in her car in the parking garage.

I can’t know for sure that’s why she was crying, I will admit as much. But because I’ve been there and walked that path, and because I’ve been watching them for so long, I feel so strongly that she was crying over him. Over her, Agent Fowley, stealing Agent Mulder away. She doesn’t need to worry, but she does, and it just hurt my heart to see it. I told myself that if I ever happened to be alone with her, I would say something. I can’t recall ever having been alone with her before, so if it happened by chance, it would be a sign.

Imagine my surprise when I was washing my hands in the bathroom and she came out of the only other occupied stall, eyes puffy and the final sniffs of a covert crying session still crinkling her nose. It was only she and I in the bathroom. It was the sign I was looking for.

I said “hello” and she looked at me startled, like she hadn’t even realized I was there. That happens a lot lately, I’ve noticed. While I was once the young hot thing at the bureau, my late 50’s haven’t been especially kind. You become invisible, as an aging woman. Someday she might know what that’s like too.

“Hi” she responded, curtly, but not without some warmth. She wasn’t rude, but she also wasn’t looking to chat.

“Agent Scully, I realize you probably don’t know me from a hole in the wall, but-“

“-Agent Hansen, right?” She forced a smile. I didn’t do a very good job hiding my surprise that she knew my name. I nodded, and barreled on before I lost my nerve. She’s even more beautiful up close than she is across a conference room table.

“Right, Agent Hansen. Um, I don’t mean to be nosy, and I’m not asking you to share any personal information or anything, but I wanted to tell you…”

She was watching me suspiciously by way of the mirror while she washed her hands. Just get it out, damnit.

“…I just wanted to tell you that you don’t need to worry about Agent Fowley.”

She straightened up and turned to face me while she dried. If I thought she looked suspicious before, I didn’t know how many flavors of suspicion she possessed.

“How do you mean?” She asked me, and I knew she was curious even more than she was uncomfortable.

“I mean, you don’t need to worry about her and Agent Mulder. He’s not in love with her.”

She balked.

“What? Why would you say that to me? Agent Mulder is my partner. Nothing more.”

Sensing that she was about to bolt, I went for it.

“Agent Scully, just hear me out, okay? You don’t have to say anything, but please listen. I was like you once. I’ve been with the bureau a long time, and when I was in my late 20’s I was assigned a partner who was nothing like me at all. He was tidy and methodical and I have more of a ‘bull in china shop’ approach to life. But we became very close, and after several years we became…involved. He was the love of my life, and when I see you and Agent Mulder together, the way he looks at you, it reminds me of the way Harry used to look at me. I was here when Agent Mulder and Agent Fowley were together, as partners and as lovers, and I can tell you that he NEVER looked at her the way he looks at you. I know that she’s intimidating and it’s got you all out of sorts, I can see that, and I just wanted to tell you that you don’t need to worry.”

Her expression was rapt but also quite emotionless.

“You can see what? What makes you think I…that Agent Fowley bothers me?”

I shook my head and waved my arms to indicate that she didn’t need to worry about THAT either.

“No no, it’s not obvious, Agent Scully. I know you work very hard to hide it. I only notice because, well this sounds creepy I’m sure, but I’ve always taken an interest in you, because you remind me of myself. It’s only because I’ve observed you so much with Agent Mulder that I can see how much she bothers you.”

She let out a breath of relief, then looked around the bathroom, as though it had just occurred to her to make sure no one else was in there.

“So, you and your partner, you got together?” She didn’t look at my face when she asked. She was embarrassed to even be curious.

“Yes, we did, about 8 years after we were assigned to work together.”

“And, um, what happened? At work?” Curiosity got the better of her after all.

“We were split up, and he was reassigned to VCU. I’ve been here in the bullpen ever since. We got married, had two beautiful daughters.” Because I know her expressions so well, I caught the almost-smile that she quickly suppressed.

“Is he still in VCU?” The wrinkle in her eyebrows told me she was trying to figure out who he was. All the guys down there these days are pretty young.

“He passed away a couple years ago, from a heart attack. But he worked up until the day he died.”

Her hand reflexively went to the cross at her neck, her mouth falling open in an “I’m so sorry” look that I’ve become very familiar with since Harry died. I kept talking to save her from offering condolences.

“It’s sad, yes, but we had 20 wonderful years together. Harry said we were ‘perfect opposites’ and that we each made half of a whole person. So you can see, then, why I can see my own story in you and Agent Mulder. Maybe you’re not ready, yet, to take that next step, and that’s okay. It took us 8 years. But I see how much you’re bothered by Agent Fowley and I just promised myself that if I ever had a chance, I’d tell you that you don’t need to worry. Agent Mulder is in love with you.”

She looked at me then, shocked, like I’d said something unspeakable. She opened her mouth to protest, but then closed it, looked at the floor and said “thank you” so quietly I almost didn’t hear her.

I left then, pretty sure I had done all I could. I told AD Skinner I wasn’t feeling well and took the rest of the day off, and stopped by the coffee shop around the corner to get two drips; one black and one with cream and sugar. After that I drove out to the little cemetery to visit Harry, and tell him what I did. As always, I poured his black coffee into the ground for him, and sipped mine while I updated him on our favorite star-crossed agents, the other set of ‘perfect opposites.’ I wish that he had lived to see the day they finally get their heads out of their asses, but if they’re anything like us, they’ll need plenty of time to accept the obvious. And if they’re anything like us, once they finally come to their senses, they’ll wish desperately that they hadn’t wasted one minute on this Earth not loving each other, because forever is never as long as you think it will be.

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