#i need to smoke

[cozmic333]

dream blunt rotation: the bridge crew of the uss enterprise

[wxvzkk]

i wish people like genuinely told me how they thought of me, and like i know even if they do, i'll still feel like they hate me and secretly hate me. im so scared of me thinking im close with someone but they hate me and talk bad about me to people they're actually close to. like i dont ask people to hang out because i have such a huge fear or being rejected, im so scared of being unwanted but its all i feel 24/7. i feel hated by everyone and when they act certain ways it doesn't do any good to my thoughts. i sit and wait for hours on end for responses and i get none and thats when i feel hated. i distance myself and i accept i am not as important to them as they are to me. i dont think i tell people how important they are to me and i feel like they deserve it but i dont think they care. i want to tell my friends that i care and love them but i'm far too scared of them not caring to read it or finding my messages stupid. i want to send people, that i havent had a true conversation with for months now, how much i care about them but i'm too scared that the reason they dont respond is because i'm annoying. i know i suck at responding and i fear every day that i bring these feelings to others and i try so hard to respond whenever i see the messages but sometimes i forget or i dont see the notification until 2 hours later and im not sure i can even complain when people dont respond because i do the same. i wonder if they think of me like i do them, i wonder if they actually care about me, i wonder if this is all one sided. i wonder if i stopped answering or sending anything if they would ask whats wrong, actually i dont think they would. i dont think my friends care about me, i dont think anyone does actually. ive never felt like someone does and i find that hilarious. i try to show how much i care for others but not one person has ever showed me that same level. i just wish someone did? i wish someone other than my older sister, who is fearing constantly for my safety and whether i snap and end it all, would ask me how i was doing. i think my sister only asks me because of the fact shes so scared of me actually doing it. i wish someone showed they cared but i know they wont and honestly i dont expect them to. i would lie to them anyway, tell them im fine when im not, i only post this all on here because i know they wont react, they wont speak of it, its a hushed post, theyre too scared of bringing it up, or they simply just dont care. and thats okay.

[dyldo1]

It's not enough to smoke, I need to get an alcoholic coma. LOL

[anteroom-of-death]

I fuckin want a cigarette

[wipeawaythosetearsofbloodagain]

I hate nights.. and days

[orioncastorballs]

i haven’t eaten cheese in 6 hours. i need a bj to make up for this. maybe an edible beforehand while i’m at it.

[angelfully]

realizing i’m not gonna be able to uphold my “no buying carts” rule while living in my parents house

[dailygoatse]

[computerpeople]

todays a john ward day

[meaningtotellyou]

okay well i want to go the fuck home lmfao

[o-vishtay]

Crawling to get water

[wxvzkk]

im actually sobbing i love mulan so much like im CRYING WHY IS IT PEAK I FUCKING LOVE IT SO MYCH THE STORY BRO OH MY GOD

[kiwipit]

is this post concert depression or just like. my normal drop off low. I need aftercare for casual friend hangouts. dear god

[biohazzrds]

Looking at your friends parents buy them their cars, or pass down their cars feels….Interesting. Like I’m so happy for them but I feel so bummed out about the fact that I’m sometimes working a whole week on my minimum wage job and stuff like that feels so far away. I’m stuck in this stupid rented room, using like 30% my paycheck on lyft rides to get to work again and then to college. What am I even earning money for atp. Don’t get me wrong I’m very grateful for all the opportunities I’ve had but I’m so so frustrated

[deadbeetleblog]

Me being filled with rage and anger all of the sudden