#i need to see her going through a process of trying on different versions of kara and karen's costumes before deciding “nope im still butch

[weirdo-from-bonesborough]

skyrocket was so sleek and beautiful but i think she was too put together. like you cannot convince me connie wouldn't leave the house in a crop top, plaid skirt, loose jeans, and purple lipstick and think that's a fit. skyrocket's too clean, like something designed for her rather than something she decided to wear. give my girl some grit!

[crescenthistory]

2K IS SO WELL DESERVED 💓💓

Please could you analyse a relationship (maybe how it starts/people finding out) between barty and potter!reader or black sister!reader 💓

thank you kindly sweetheart<33 i did poly!bartylus x potter!reader here, so i'm choosing the noble house of black scenario here lols. i loved this one so much, especially dynamic 2, so someone feel free to request a full version once i open my regular requests 🙂↕️🙂↕️

✶・•・✦・•・✶・✶・•・✦・•・✶

i will ANALYSE barty crouch jr. with black!sister!reader

carina's 2k celebration

✶・•・✦・•・✶・✶・•・✦・•・✶

cw: reference to walburga and orion's excellent parenting (abuse), fem!reader, sibling troubles, precocious barty

regulus was barty's first best friend and he is fiercely loyal to him, to a fault

however, he is loyal within barty's own moral compass, which, as we know, is a quite unique one

meaning he is "if i see you jumping someone, i'm jumping them with you, no questions asked" loyal and "if you are upset, it is my sworn duty to make you feel different" but he is NOT "your sister is off limits loyal"

which they both find out randomly one day, more or less like this:

"salazar's soggy balls, your sister is proper fit"

"EXCUSE ME?"

queue regulus whacking barty like he's a dog getting reprimanded while barty shrieks and yells some incoherent excuse like "what? she is???"

how it goes from there depends on which dynamic you have with the black brothers

i see two primary ones:

you were either really close with regulus and thus have a more problematic but still close relationship with sirius

OR you really looked up to sirius, which made regulus distance himself for you for periods of time

(the latter one prompts much more angst in the getting together process, naturally – in a good way)

DYNAMIC 1 (regulus centred)

if you and regulus are really close, you would be brought into the slytherin skittles from the get go and thus would have a friends to lovers arc with barty

after regulus whacked barty for drooling over "my baby sister" (you're like. eleven months younger than him.), he keeps an eye on barty

i think barty frankly would not care at all and would continue flirting with you unabashedly

"when have i ever let reg dictate my love/dating/sex life before?"

though he would be saving the more salacious comments for when regulus isn't around

and trust that he would be pursuing spending time with you when regulus isn't around – once he got hung up on you it's almost like a compulsive tic, he just has to be close to you

you would probably be the only one having any moral qualms about it, wondering how regulus would feel and how things might change

as a black sister, you would likely feel like everything good in your life is a hair width's away from falling apart and live in constant fear of that while trying to remain nonchalant

yet barty's pull towards you is far from one-sided – he gives you that calmness in the chaos and chaos in calmness that you craved

only when you nearly have your first kiss in a hallway and you pull away last second talking "what about regulus?" do i think it might register with barty that he could genuinely be upsetting his best friend

prompt the always direct barty more or less marching into his dorm he shares with regulus and evan, declaring: "regulus arcturus black, i love your sister. you have no right giving out blessings, but would you please get behind this, it's upsetting her."

it would be a ROUGH conversation, but regulus knows both of you well enough to know when you're being serious about something

and barty was being deadly serious

after they've talked it through and regulus has said something along the lines of "as long as you promise it's not just a shag, then sure, be my guest. but i want to hear NONE of it", i think he would make a beeline to gryffindor

to find sirius, of course, for once daring seek out his older brother's advice, because it's for their "better third"

"sirius, i need you to calm yourself and not be mad at them because i genuinely need your advice"

it took a LOT of schooling his face for sirius to not rip his eyeballs out at the mention that barty is interested in you, but he kept calm, for regulus

he could tell that he needed it

they talked it all out

it genuinely made regulus feel better and more secure in it, but the second he left the room, sirius turned around crying to james in the exact same way

queue sirius pulling barty aside the next day to borderline threaten him to not mistreat you

and for YOU to then pull SIRIUS aside and have an angsty sibling confrontation of "is it more important to you to go to him first and be all protective, instead of to me and offer any support or congratulations?"

i think regardless of if you have a troubled relationship for a while, he still sees you as his whole world; something to take care of

so he would nod his head, properly reprimanded and give you the first hug you've shared in a while

barty is by FAR sirius' least favourite in-law and barty adoreeeees that fact, loving to rub it in

you'll have to gently be like "babe, please" to have him calm down and not agitate sirius (and by consequence regulsu) too much

it was chaotic but just right

DYNAMIC 2 (sirius centred)

you grew up always looking up to sirius – he's three years older, so the perfect age for you to think everything he does is so cool

you were still relatively young when everything went down with sirius and walburga, so you had a slightly more coloured image and fuzzy memories surrounding the abuse at home

less resentment, more uncertainty towards your parents while still idolising sirius, at least for a while

i think sirius in any dynamic considers his sister his "baby" to some degree, partly because you were the youngest, partly because of his upbringing presenting women as someone to be taken care of – and largely because you let him baby you, unlike regulus

you saw sirius as more of an authority figure than you ever did regulus and he always felt safer than your parents, so when you had nightmares as a child, sirius was the one who could soothe you the best

when you were anxious, he was the one who could talk you out of it, tether you to the earth

sirius saw you as more innocent and less tainted than him, so you could in return make him feel a bit better, a bit more like he had a purpose

i think this dynamic would make regulus very resentful of the both of you

yet another example of him being the second option, of him not measuring up, etc. -> in regards to both you and sirius

in regulus' mind, you were the better younger sibling and sirius was the better older sibling – regulus was alone

so he isolated himself more and more from the both of you as he grew up in a misguided act of self-protection

to the extent that when you started hogwarts, you were never introduced to his friends

i think they asked about you when you finally started hogwarts, but he brushed it aside so assertively that they dropped it

this is in stark contrast to sirius' marauders who happily brought you along more often than not

you were not really a part of their friend group, more so that you became everyone's honorary little sister while you established yourself your own good friends within your house and year

sirius would meet you at every breakfast, even if only to ruffle your hair and kiss your head while you groaned, embarrassing you in front of your friends

you knew of who regulus' friends were and you saw him around often, but it had been made clear to you not to engage

i think it would be the kind of situation where regulus implied you stay away, which hurt you and made you stay away, which in turn hurt him – the cycle goes on

so you never really got to know them beyond their reputations and sirius' complaints about them

until around your fifth year when you would meet barty in some capacity (same class because you were excelling above your year, same secluded area of hogsmeade, etc.)

you hit it off massively, bantering back and forth in a way that makes barty feel both challenged and seen

his interest is piqued

after which is when he makes the comment to regulus about how he finds you "proper fit"

this time, regulus loses his mind over it not because it's his baby sister, but because of his resentment, jealousy and even fear that you would be taking someone else away from him

he would not be making sense to barty, reverting back to his younger and more hurt self before stalking off

if barty, evan or even dorcas tried to bring it up to regulus afterwards, he would just say "let's not talk about her/them" curtly

he only spoke to pandora about it and she kept quiet to the others, respecting his space and boundaries

in this instance, it would be clear to barty that his interest in you was not okay, but it didn't subside

on the contrary, it only continued blazing and he kept meeting you often, mostly by coincidence – but he stayed on purpose

you think nothing much of it before regulus angirly stalks up to you when he sees you chatting in the hallway, roughly grabs your arm to haul you away and whispers something along the lines of "you have sirius. you got sirius, you can't take barty too"

queue massive sibling fight that barty eventually has to get involved in, ignoring the sound of his breaking heart

while you often ignored each other, the tension that arose between you and regulus was now palpable and uncomfortable

you were hurt regulus viewed you the way he did and always competed with you – why did he care so much for sirius' love and not yours?

regulus was hurt because he felt abandoned yet again – both by barty, but also you because he loved you and missed you

having no idea what to do, i think barty would be forced to do the one thing he had sworn to himself, any god he occasionally spoke to and regulus he would never do:

he willingly went to speak with sirius black

"believe me, i don't want to do this any more than you do, but i don't think they can get over this on their own"

i think barty might be able to articulate how regulus feels like the "odd one out" of the siblings and show sirius that regulus' standoffishness is just years of pain schooled away and not him being an aloof bother

which sirius knows but has never been able to work past regardless, not before it was presented to him like this

and while sirius would still be disturbed by it, i think this might be the only way to make him understand that barty loves you – because there was no other word but love for the pull he felt towards you, the emptiness he felt without you

the two of them would plot and scheme to get you and regulus in the same room at the same time, locking all four of you inside

when they begin to try and start a civil conversation, you and regulus are on the offensive and hostile

it is when you burst out something along the lines of "why do you hate me?" that regulus' face falls

"i could never hate you."

it would be an even rougher talk, but you are able to understand each other's pain at last

"i never meant to take him away from you, i never meant to take anything away from you. i just want to be part of your life again."

"it's never felt like i deserve a spot in your life, though. like you want me there."

"regulus there is not a day that i don't wish you were sat beside me."

loooooooong awaited hug

barty and sirius would have stepped back as mediators once the first realisation set in between you, watching while leaning on a desk from afar, feeling oddly united for a moment

at last, regulus would murmur: "do you love him"

you looked at barty for a long time before looking back to regulus with a quivering lip, despite knowing the answer

"only if you'll let me. only if you'll be okay with it."

and though a part of him might still be scared and kicking and screaming, he would use all of his big brother love to pull you close, kiss you on the forehead and whisper repeatedly "it's alright, it's alright. i'm sorry, it's alright."

barty held it together well for regulus' sake, but the second he was left alone with you he swept you up in the closest embrace

"i'm so proud of you"

not only are you the most compelling, bewitching, well, witch he had ever met, but you seemed to be the one person capable of piecing his best friend back together

went through hell to be a match made in heaven

[sweemmy]

Darkness had never been a problem for Vi. She had grown up in it, embraced it as both a refuge and an ally in a world that gave her no quarter. But now, the darkness within her is different. It suffocates, ravenous—a beast that feeds on her deepest thoughts, on her obsession with you.

You are a glimmer in her shadowed world. At first, you seemed to bring a fragile light to her broken life. But that light didn’t heal her; it didn’t soothe. It was a spark that ignited everything she had left intact within herself. Vi knows this isn’t love in its purest form—love shouldn’t hurt like this. It shouldn’t burn through every fiber of her being. But what else can she call it when her entire existence revolves around you?

Sometimes, when she’s alone, her mind drifts back to the past. She sees herself as the girl she used to be—a girl with hope, with unyielding morals, with a sense of justice that brought meaning to her chaos. Those images feel so distant now, as though they belong to someone else. But they weren’t always this blurred. Vi remembers how she clung to that version of herself, struggling to reconcile her principles with the choices she made for you. Until one day, she stopped trying.

“Look at what I’ve become,” she thinks bitterly, staring at her hands, hardened by fights and scarred by the things she’s done in your name. Her knuckles, always marked, tell stories of the lines she’s crossed, of the faces she’s struck simply for coming too close to you.

The first time she stepped over the line, it was almost accidental—a punch thrown harder than it needed to be, a moment she couldn’t take back. But the effect was instant: a surge of power mixed with a dizzying rush that left her trembling. After that, it became easier, darker. Each decision pulled her further away from the Vi who once vowed to protect Zaun, the Vi who believed in something greater than herself.

But it’s not the actions that haunt her the most. It’s the constant thought, the unrelenting mantra she cannot silence: “I would let the world burn for you.” It plays in her mind like both a prayer and a curse. Because she would. Because she is. Every choice, every sacrifice, every boundary she’s destroyed has been for you, and she knows she’s losing herself in the process.

The darkness isn’t just in her mind—it follows her like a living shadow. The nights are the worst. When silence fills the room, the endless hum of her thoughts becomes unbearable. Every shadow on the wall seems to mock her helplessness, her lack of control. She dreams of a world without you, where she might find freedom again, but those dreams are fleeting and bitter. Because even in her fantasies, your absence feels like an abyss she cannot escape.

She watches you from a distance, trying to understand how someone like you can hold so much power over her. Sometimes, your words confuse her. “You don’t have to do this,” you say, but the smile on your lips betrays the truth. You enjoy being the center of her universe, though you’d never admit it. And Vi, caught in the web of her own obsession, can no longer tell if what she feels for you is love or self-destruction masquerading as something else.

Vi fights it sometimes. In rare moments of clarity, she tries to reason with herself, to remember who she was before you. But even those memories are fading, because everything that came before now feels insignificant. She wonders if her obsession began as love or if it was always this destructive force wearing the mask of something pure. But it doesn’t matter anymore. She doesn’t know how to let you go, how to tear you from her chest without bleeding out completely.

Every time she looks at you, she feels that toxic mix of devotion and despair. You are her salvation and her damnation, the anchor keeping her afloat and the chain dragging her down. And Vi, so proud, so stubborn, doesn’t know how to ask for help, how to admit that she’s losing this battle within herself. That her love for you isn’t saving her—it’s destroying her.

In her mind, the scenes replay: the faces of those who fell beneath her fists, the chances she missed to do what was right, the Vi she might have been if she’d never met you. But those images fade quickly, consumed by the fire burning in her chest. “It doesn’t matter,” she tells herself, “as long as you’re with me.”

When she closes her eyes, she sees it all burning: Zaun, Piltover, the entire world consumed in flames. And at the heart of that inferno, there you are—untouched, existing solely for her. The smell of smoke, the searing heat, the ash choking her lungs… all of it vanishes when her gaze lands on you. She knows there’s no turning back. Her love for you is her undoing, and though it hurts, though it scorches her to the core, she wouldn’t change it.

Sometimes, she imagines a different ending—one where she lets you go, where she finds redemption, where she becomes more than the chaos she’s created for you. But those fantasies are fleeting. Because at the end of the day, the truth is she doesn’t want to let you go. She can’t.

This love has turned her into someone she barely recognizes. But if that’s the price of having you, she will pay it without hesitation.

[aingeal98]

The thing about Cass is that the law holds very little value to her sense of right and wrong compared to Bruce. She's like oh the government thinks this man should die? Let's break into the execution chamber and break him out. Tim wants to call the police? That's stupid when I can just keep fighting bad guys until I get the answers I need. A assassin hesitates before killing a kid? Projection levels firing high today let's break into the CIA baby.

But then you bring up the one area of life where there are no easy feelings, where everything is complicated and it hurts: Her childhood with David Cain. He shot her for fun and she loves him and he loves her and showed her stars and constellations as a kid and he made her kill a man. And no one will understand that for the longest time the only part of her childhood that felt clearly deep bad wrong was the kill. The rest of it was... Not fine but something she misses sometimes. And no one else will ever understand why because it doesn't make sense to anyone except Cass.

So you bring 17/18 y/o Cass a case of child abuse, especially one that's not as clear cut as physically violent parent, where the father is a good man but a criminal by law, and the mother is cold, neglectful and uncaring, and that's the one time where Cass will rely on the law. David Cain is a bad man because he made her kill. He loved her but he was a bad father because he made her a criminal. Cass sees this man who is a thief (neutral to Cass, bad to the law) who loves his daughter, and her projection levels go through the roof. Yes the woman is abusive but Cass hasn't processed her own abuse. David is bad because he's a criminal not because he hurt her. She can't make the decision who the good parent is. She can't even decide how she feels about her own father.

Except it's not true, she does make the decision. On a different day, one where Cass was not reeling from the revelation of David cain being her biological father, she might very well choose not to let the man get arrested, to help him with his daughter. The law is something Cass falls back on only when her sense of purpose is in disarray. Twice we see her falter, when she let's the father get arrested and earlier in another issue when she puts the man back on death row. Both cases she projects hard, on the death row killer and on the daughter of the thief. Both times she ends the story miserable and with a deep sense of wrongness. She followed the law, she followed their version of justice.

And her gut tells her that this is not right. This is not how things should be.

Cass believes in herself. Cass believes in gut instinct for right and wrong.

Cass believes that she is an evil murderer, not someone who can ever fully belong with the actual heroes. There is something rotten inside of her, and when the situation is too similar, when she's reminded that she was raised to be a killer, a weapon who can never truly be good, just desperately trying to prove herself while feeling she never can...

Cass deferres to the law. And she hates every second of it almost as much as she hates herself.

[tallgirl14]

Chilchuck angst

I love this lil middle age man but i aslo live for angst so her are few my ideas because I need tell someone and if you have angst dm me we can talk about it

He carries a wallet size family portrait (when his girls were little) with him when he goes down in a dungeon, and he looks at it when he miss them. ( I feel like photos are probably pretty 💰💰 so they only had few consist wedding photo, baby photo mayjack she's fist born, then one of the whole family ) and this photo is chaotic and It makes him smile.

This is the ONLY photo he has of his entire family and he hasent seen them in few years with his kids grown living there own lives and him and his wife are split this photos all he's got.

How far would this man go for this picture. I can see chilchuck getting badly hurt because he went back to grab it and as Marcille is lecturing him about his reckless action as she's healing him.

Marcille: "What could have been so important that you risk your life over??"

Chilchuck: "my family or what's left of it"

He shows her the photo and marcille feels her heart drop she finally got to learn something about him and its sad ( this miscommunication leads to his group to believe chil family is dead )

Chilchuck taught Mayjack how to pick locks, and in the manga, he says when he dies, if they need someone, she'd be their first choice. SO he obviously took her through dungeon showing her how to navigate because being locksmith in a shop vs. dungeon is night & day different, dungeon being high pace environment.

Could you imagine how traumatizing that would be if saw her dad die in front of her AND NOT KNOW THEY COULD BE REVIVED!! (Seeing anyone die would be scaring) Especially if she felt it was her fault.

At first, Mayjack was curious about going into a dungeon with her dad to see exactly what he does she rember as kid seeing him come home late tired excused but mostly worn down.

Whenever she asked him about his work as a kid he was always vague or if he did talk about it was pg version and normally he was just trying scare us about going into dungeon. BUT one thing he made very clear, he didn't want any of her or her sister near the dungeon, but now that she's an adult, he couldn't stop her.

" I still don't want you near the dungeon, but you are a skilled locksmith, so you would be valued and well paid. IF you're still interested, I'll have you shadow me on my next small job so you can see what it's like."

At first, it was like any job we met with the client went over to the terms dad took payment, and then we headed over to the dungeon. I was awestruck by the new environment, but it quickly became overstimulating it took me a moment to adjust. the first few levels, dad had pointed out things to avoid what were scams & how to detect traps and walked me through a few I felt confident. Most importantly, when talking jobs, always have a skilled healer. Now I realize why as we enter new room dad was working on trap I was observing the room when I noticed treasure chest peaking out corner not knowing it was a mimick.

Chilchuck was Halfway through picking his lock when his dad sense went off. He quickly looked around room and spotted may messing with mimick

Chilchuck: "MAYJACK TIMS! get away from that!!" He starts running towards her

May turned to look at her dad, confused " why I already unlocked it?"

Her body stiffened as she could feel presents inside the chest, but before mimick could attach, chilchuck pushed her out of the way taking damage as it jabbed one of its claws through his neck causing him to bleed everywhere all mayjack could do was watch in horror paralyzed with fear trying process what happened. One of group members took care of mimick while she scrambled to her feet to get to here dad trying to put pressure on his wound tears flooding out

"Nonononno im sorry I'm sorry 🥺 "

As chilchuck lay there dying, he was more concerned with the fact he could comfort his daughter. This wasn't how he wanted to see death for the first time. Afterwards, the healer from their group came over and assured her he was going to be fine as she worked on reviving him.

Chilchuck let out a gasp and cough out some blood that had remained stuck in his throat. He turns to mayjack " that's why I told you to stay near me..." He moves toward her noticing her hands are strained with his blood. " are you hurt?... may? "

She shakes her head, and tears start to fall down her face he pulls her in for a hug. " it's ok, I'm ok ... I'm right here. " she hugs him tight, and they stay in that embrace for a while. When they finally break the hug, chilchuck wipes tears from her face.

" im sorry you saw that... do you want to go home.? "

" but the job?"

Chilchuck shakes his head " don't worry about it I brought someone along for that exact reason"

[semyla]

Training & Culinary Arts

Summary: A new routine has been implemented on your daily basis now, one was training Zoro and Perona to become stronger, but also making healthy meals for them.

Edit: Sorry guys if the first chapter didn’t make any sense I didn’t know how to write it properly, my bad everyone.

Days had passed and after things calmed down, a new routine has now began. Zoro, the swordsman had started training with Mihawk, Mihawk had ask you for help in the process of it.

You would do warm ups and exercise to help him with his body and help him to become even tougher. He had already told you how he train, which you expected no less when he told you he trained like a savage.

Sports became a big thing, playing basketball became a main thing. Baseball was taken out of the list, because Zoro had thrown the ball twice too hard and two fast, one hitting a window and another either to the forest or lake, and finding them had gotten Zoro lost. 

"You are getting a lot more better now" You said bouncing the ball in position as Zoro stood in front of you.

"Really? Thanks, I only learning from the best" Zoro said smirking and carefully analyzing your moves.

The moment you try making a move Zoro makes one too, but a very bad one. He decide that maybe going at full speed and force he had be able to take the ball from you, for doing both of your legs tangled up making you almost fall. Zoro  had panicked and grabbed you.

"Good job Roronoa, you just won a charge, a personal foul charge" Mihawk said as he had sat down watching the whole game, as you hang on to Zoro's hand (He would be lying if he said wasn’t ready to jump in when he saw you). You stood up from his hand.

"Sorry, you okey?" Zoro asked you, letting go.

"Yeah, but remember the rules" You said, and through out the game you won because he would shot the ball at the wrong hoop, Mihawk counted.

You stood aside to see Mihawk and Zoro training, while Perona flew next to you.

"You should be training too" You said turning to her with your arms crossed.

"Me? I don't need training!" Perona responded.

"You only use your devil-fruit, your ghost can't even affect Mihawk, even if he didn't attack you, what if he did? Or someone who had the same ability as him? Your power would be useless" You said.

Perona tries to use her ghost against you as. Petty attempt to prove you wrong, to which it didn't work. The ghost couldn't pass you, it was like a barrier only annoyingly surrounding you, to which you shush away.

"We start training tomorrow morning" You said walking away.

You discovered that Perona likes volleyball and a bit of tennis and cricket, she didn't like exercise a lot, so doing you made her a small routine to follow at least for 2 to 3 days a week max. 

You also had to always make sure to never put Zoro and Perona together playing sports because they either start fighting or do something stupid, either way fighting was always in the middle of it.

Maybe trying to do a You and Mihawk team up vs Zoro and Perona was a bad idea, and changing it to Mihawk and Perona vs You and Zoro was a better idea, nonetheless the fighting still happen regardless what team they were.

~~~

Just as much as training became a big thing so did eating. Again food was a thing you needed to make sure was enough, but also enough for you to bake things outside of your daily basis and snacks too.

Long time ago you learn how to make this protein powder, as you grew up to were able to create a different versions of it and mastering on the making of a protein shake. You would give one of these to Mihawk once in a while, but now that the new guest.

You took Zoro to the kitchen, showing the powder and how you turned to protein shake.

"You know eating well would help you just as much as training" You said putting the shake in front of him.

He looked at it and questioning it.

"Don't look at it like that, try it" You said, and Zoro took a sip, immediately liking it.

"This is actually good, how do you make it?" Zoro asked.

"Are you interested of having more? I make this for me and my lover.." You stop talking because Zoro looked at you weird.

"Don't start. Anyway, I can teach you how to make the powder and turn it into a protein, this can help you to maintain a healthy body, I can even teach you how to do different flavors" You said, at first annoyed, but letting it slide as you talk to him.

"Amazing" Zoro kept drinking it.

"I think I had like to try more of this often, you got the receptive?" Zoro asked.

"Of course, you think you had be able to do it?" You asked, very skeptical.

"No, my crew has a cook" Zoro said, relieving you knowing now that he would

"Your crew? You never talk about them much other than your captain" You pointed out, remembering a few times he had talked about him and how Mihawk had suspicious he put his pride aside for his captain.

"You know mentioning my captain he would love drinking this too. The cook and I.. don't get along, but I doubt he will refuse to make it, especially if I get Luffy to try it" Zoro said, you listened.

"I'm glad, I hope they like it as much as you do, i thought it would be very sweet for you. You have almost the same taste as Mihawk, not too sweet" You pointed out.

"No, it's the perfect like this" He reassure you.

Perona enters the kitchen, your judgment looking for a snack to eat.

"Just in time. Perona I made you something for you" You said, putting the protein shake in front of her.

"Huh? What is this?" She flew over to look at it, her drink was pink very different from the one Zoro was drinking.

"Try it, it's strawberry flavor" You said. Perona looked at Zoro seeing how he was enjoying his.

Perona tries it, and her expression show how much she liked it. Later on she had a bagel you made, also protein based.

"Love, I made you something" You said coming in to the living room where Mihawk had a book that you had brought him form your trip.

"I saw the other two with the protein shakes you made, they seem to like it" Mihawh said.

"They did, I made your favorite too, would you like a bagel too? I made sure it doesn't jelly on it" you asked him, putting the shake in front of him.

"Not now, i'm not hungry" Mihawk said looking at it, you nodded and kissed his cheek leaving the room to give him some space alone to read his book.

[wasyago]

unsure if you’ve been asked this before but what is your character designing process?

i have already answered in this post (you can go read it if you want), though it's more jrwi based, so i feel like i can answer again! i doubt I'll end up saying something new but hwhatever who cares dhhdhd

obviously this isn't math, so there's no specific scheme i follow every time, and each design is different and it all varies heavily.

in general, when i start working on a design i already have *some* sort of idea in mind. normally not for the entirety of it, but some bits and pieces here and there that help me characterize the design in my head! i try to get those on the canvas first. they're like key points, and i most likely wont change them.

(and if i don't have an idea, i don't start drawing. and instead scroll through my gallery or pinterest in search of inspiration)

let's take my Gem's recent design as an example! i knew i wanted her to be a squirrel, and i already had squirrel scar and cub designs to base it off. so the key points were big pointy ears, curvy tail, claws. i also knew i wanted her clothing to look regal and floral, and reflect her main base. this is an idea that i haven't fully visualized, but i kept it in mind and knew in which direction i had to move.

after that comes the point where i start making stuff up 👍👍 i enjoy thinking my designs through and making them make sense in my head and be practical. so the process consists of me asking myself questions and then answering them in a design. with occasional "oh wouldn't that be cool" thrown into it.

continuing with gem. she needed to have her clothes be suited for a tail, so her underskirt splits in three parts to make it easier. i still wanted the design to be recognizable as gem and have it resemble her skin; so i kept the white sleeves, the green skirt, the corset. i wanted to make her and scar's designs match, so i changed the corset to green with this long piece of cloth but decided to change the patterns on it. because the brown from the corset was gone, i removed it from her shoes as well and made them black instead, so brown wasn't part of the color pallett anymore. i will introduce pink into the design later, so getting rid of one of the colors wasn't that big of a deal. plus, brown makes her look more down to earth, whereas i want her to look elegant and rich, so its a win/win. i wanted to keep her antlers, but obviously she's not a deer anymore, so i turned them into a crown and made it black to match the shoes. etc etc. i can ramble for three more hours about this hdgshsh.

well, that's how the well thought designs work.

sometimes it's just "im gonna draw all the things i think are fun and cute until i can't think of any" and there's no rhyme or reason to it. that's why things like "doc as a unicorn", one-off series designs, random concepts, aus exist!

sometimes its a "i have no idea what to do with it, so im gonna merge all the layers together and just keep fiddling with it until i figure it out", and that's exactly what happens. if i feel stuck with a design, merging it together and working with both line and color helps a ton, because it helps me to see the design as a whole and i dont have to divide my process and think of which parts im gonna do in color and which in line! recent example is hypno's design. here it is when i didn't know how to make it interesting and the final version:

(funnily enough i still like the first concept, the fact that all the clothes is the same color is quite tasty. but i know that if i needed to draw this design in the future, i would struggle with keeping the clothing layers separated and shading and all that stuff.)

visually i don't think there's much difference between how i design things (?), but the process varies and in my head they're all on like, different tiers.

hopefully this was somewhat helpful! if not it at least let me ramble about my design process which is great hdhsjsh

[leonawriter]

I have another (bigger) post in the works, but the concept and argument of "Would things have gone better if Angela had been allowed to be kind to the Sephirah?" keeps sticking in my head, because I have my own arguments against it based on the setting and the concept of the Seed of Light Scenario.

(Post has spoilers for the end LobCorp/LoR.)

Thing is, going through Angela's memories in LoR makes what she went through seem unreasonable. Which I think it's supposed to, since you're seeing things from her biased perspective. It's also fair to show her perspective; she's the main character of her game, and as she herself points out, she's the only one who didn't get her own catharsis and conclusion from Lobotomy Corporation (an argument can also be made for Ayin himself not having a perfect conclusion, but that's for another time, and other people have talked on it).

The problem with Angela being able to simply be kind the way she wanted to at the start lies purely and solely in the very nature of the Seed of Light, and also in the tagline of the Corporation/game itself:

Face the Fear, Build the Future.

In order for each of the Sephirah to "Face their Fear," each one has to break the veneer of their shell, have their meltdown, and air their ugliest thoughts.

In other words.... the selves that they have as Sephirah - Gabriel vs. Yesod, Daniel vs. Chesed, for example - are masks for their insecurities and traumas. "In the past, [x trait] caused me to fail, therefore I will have nothing to do with that trait and be better that way."

In that sense, Angela encouraging them to be the best that they can be as Sephirah is encouraging them to remain happily in their own masks, not requiring them to take said masks off, and in theory things could remain the way they are like that in perpetuity (ironically, much like Hokma wanted in his meltdown).

Sure, they'd get what they want... but would they be getting what they need?

Answer says No, Not Really. With a loud buzzer. And flashing lights.

Because what was that tagline again?

Face the Fear, Build the Future.

In order to face the fear, you have to accept that it exists in the first place. The first step to solving your problems is to recognise them.

You have to, quite literally, face your fears. The Sephirah had to each face the fact that they were running away from their problems.

Only by remembering who they were (in the correct way) and allowing them to process the grief, despair, rage, and turmoil of their past selves could they hope to accept that fully, and to build themselves into better versions of who they are, starting from that moment on.

It's pretty much a certainty that Ayin, who studied the brain, who almost certainly knew a lot about psychology, and who would have listened to the specialities of the others, would have had all of this in mind while writing the Script.

So like... yeah. Yeah, it IS cruel to Angela. Unconscionably cruel!

Personally I abide by this being part of the reason (much like how he couldn't face the others while they were dying) why he could never look at Angela the way she wanted him to; much like with them, he could see the suffering she was going [to] go through, and couldn't face her.

All of which is the reason why Library of Ruina was necessary for her own character development. She is justifiably upset over never having been given the same catharsis in Lobotomy Corporation - but with how much anger she has at Ayin, would she have accepted him trying to help her? No matter how different she could tell that he had become? I highly doubt it.

I think that it's only because she herself had, by the end, gone through an arc similar to Ayin's, where she (knowingly or not) follows the footsteps of both of her "parents" that she's able to hear Ayin saying "I'm sorry, and good job" at all. She's reached a point where she's able to see more of who Carmen truly is (a bad influence) and who Ayin was outside of some of her own biases (even if she hasn't forgiven him).

[succulentsiren]

Hey, I love your page.❤️Can you tell me the ways I can be seen as more sexy and mature. Like as a woman not a girl.

A woman is considered the mature version of the feminine. She has her priorities in order, she knows that people should earn her trust and love instead of giving it away freely, she doesn't crave love or validation and she won't settle for mediocrity, she is patient, self-sufficient and confident in her skin. She doesn't have time to waste and spends her time wisely. She is seductive and temptuous.

A girl is the innocent version of the feminine. She is looking for protection, care, love, fairytales, she can trust others too easily and is often times unsure of what she wants (due to inexperience) and she may have problems being solely responsible and self-sufficient. She is still finding her place in the world and how she blends in. She hasn't quite had enough experience to understand what she wants, likes or dislikes. A girl is more open to fresh experiences because she has the time and energy for it. She isn't too concerned with responsibilities but she focuses more on having an enjoyable experience. She doesn't think about the long term, just the moment. She is cute and excitable.

You can never get rid of the Girl within you, and you shouldn't try to but it is important to learn to become a Woman as it is the process of maturity. We have both Woman and Girl within us & neither is good or bad — we just have to learn which one to bring out during certain situations. [Some good examples of women that balance their Girl & Womanly qualities are Marilyn Monroe & Tracee Ellis Ross].

How to be seen as more sexy and mature. Like as a woman not a girl.

I. Become comfortable in your skin. Develop confidence and total self belief to reverse timidity and shame. It literally comes through experience. Not just affirmations and visualization. Learn to show up in the world unapologetically.

II. Understand the power and value in your voice. Use your words and communicate clearly. Using your voice is how you will be taken seriously. Don't allow people to talk to you any kind of way or treat you like less than you deserve. Voice what you like and dislike and dismiss anyone who dares cross you.

IlI. Don't wait around for people to do things for you. Show your capabilities by taking care of yourself and holding your own. Know how to properly take care of yourself physically, financially, emotionally and mentally. Create priorities, boundaries and standards with others. Take control over your life and where you want it to be headed, instead of allowing others to direct it for you. Make decisions that benefit your present and future self. Plan ahead and be responsible now. Think about your actions and the long term consequences. Have goals for yourself and stay disciplined.

IV. Know when you need to be playful and when you need to be serious. To appear mire mature wear makeup, mature clothing and nice hairstyles. Don't engage in childish behaviors like gossip, bantering or irresponsibility. Fix your posture, project your voice and stand on your standards. KNOW who you are and what you require in yourself and in those around you.

V. Embrace your sexuality. Don't force it because people can tell and will be repelled by you. You don't have to be overtly sexual or aggressive to have sex appeal or be attractive. Sade Adu is known to be a classy sex symbol. Let your sexuality flow naturally.

VI. Don't give your trust too easily. Outside of your home, the world is a different place. People will lie, take advantage of you if they can and run all over you. You must have boundaries and not allow people to take advantage. Often times Girls see the light sides of everyone, but a Woman sees both the dark and light in people.

VII. Experience more. Learn about the things you're afraid of, go new places and research new things. Never stop growing and improving upon yourself.

[divineerdrick]

Homestuck Beyond Canon Upd8 for September 29, 2024

This is honestly a great time for an upd8.

I'm not doing so hot right now. Both my migraines and my fatigue have decided to start kicking my ass even harder. And I'm a little frustrated with that, since I've been trying to participate in the Path of Exile Runic Strife Gauntlet. But that's going to be hard if my body is going to be fighting me. I'm not making very good time as is, and I can't afford to lose a character due to lack of focus.

At times like this, Homestuck is often a comfortable blanket I'll wrap myself in. This comic has gotten me through hard times in the past, especially with amazing wealth of talent and compassion that's in the community. Even now, with probably a pretty hard chapter coming, I'm very much looking forward to it. I'm hoping we can get some more catharsis for Vriska's arc, and maybe finally give her another much needed breakthrough.

Here we are. Finally behind the 8 ball.

Hah! Also, apparently this is just "Later" so we don't have a definitive time frame. At least that probably means another year hasn't gone by.

That . . . that is a much more upbeat Serket than I was expecting. Hopefully she's not playing strong after her encounter with Scratch. She really does need to take some time to process that and move past it.

Nice boss pick there, in more ways than one.

Okay good! Looks like she did take some time reflect and recover. I'm hoping she actually spent some time addressing things though. Would have been nice to see some of that, but Homestuck has a habit of leaving some things to the imagination.

Looks like some opening up might have happened there. That's good! That means progress has definitely taken place!

Fefeta! Chewing everyone's ear off as usual! It's actually a cute contrast to Davepeta going on one of their usual tangents.

Vriska's never been shy about getting in on the RP action. Much less menacing than a Mindfang RP, but also still very much Vriska.

Hah! Vriska's trying to wrap her head around the sprite shenanigans.

Fefeta! No!!!

Nope. Not gonna explain anything.

No glomping without consent!

Consent and glomp achieved!

Looks like they're literally calling them hells. Also awesome art.

I'm still going with (Vriska), but that leaves the opportunity for Terezi to show up too, just as Aradia showed up with Tavros.

Kinda reminds me of the faint image of the stage at the center of the black hole.

Hey! I got one!

Wow! Really pushing the age difference here. This Vriska is still 6 after all.

It's one thing to apologize. But this is still a valid Vriska. Can you accept her.

And apparently she can't do it.

Wow! She really just peace'd the fuck out!

And that's it for the chapter. Vriska has hit another wall. Despite the fact she knows she should, she can't accept the part of her she views as having given up - as choosing happiness over the mission. She's probably telling herself that this version of her left everyone behind when they still needed her, and she can't accept that. But the simple fact is that version of her is still a valid her. It's still a path she took. We don't see any other versions of Vriska in the bubbles, because but for one well placed punch this was Vriska's fate. Sally "thewertsearch" just got to Vriska's death in her liveblog. Scratch makes it clear that Vriska always chose to fix the coin, always chose to go fight jack, and Terezi always stabs her in the back because she knows what the consequences will be. It's a constant across all timelines. And that Vriska always fights to stay relevant until everyone but Meenah leaves her. And then she chooses happiness instead.

And apparently, Vriska just can't deal with that.

[sixthwater]

Hello! Have you been feeling a bit lost recently? Especially with all of the eclipses that we've been experiencing? Well, here is some short advice from your spirit guides and angels to help get things sorted out.

Left → Right / Pile 1 → Pile 4)

Decks Used: The Psychic Oracle, Fairies Oracle Deck, Elle Qui Oracle, Woodland Wardens Oracle, Sacred Creators Oracle, Sea Melodies, Language of Flowers, Wild Unknown Animal Spirits,

Disclaimer | Pinned | Tip Jar | Paid Readings

Pile One

I began your reading and my back started killing me; make sure you’re doing proper stretches or you’re not pushing yourself too hard to wear yourself out.

There is a sense of holding your tongue or keeping yourself trapped in the closet. I just got an image of The Little Mermaid when she signed away her voice but it’s not the Disney version it’s the legitimate fairy tale, it’s also more of a choice? It’s difficult to describe; it’s not that you prefer to be uncomfortable and to hide under a mask blah blah blah, but there’s experience of pain and loss so you don’t want to do it again. Maybe you haven’t expressed certain emotions or identities, but you overheard them being looked down upon or it was made fun of, so instead you locked these emotions up and threw away the key (ex; someone laughing at you having feelings for them when brought up as a joke or someone disrespecting a sexual orientation/identity, etc). Your pile is the very first, in all of my history of reading, where I want to be completely silent and only listen to certain frequencies as well.

The advice: You need to listen to yourself and the world (in a way). You already have the answers to your questions/concerns inside of you, but you do need some help finding them obviously. You’re looking for external answers, but it’s only causing more confusion because...well everyone sees the world differently. So when you try to put yourself in those shoes, it causes more scratches on the Vinyl record that is your life, you know? It’s funny to say this but they’re kind of asking you to pull back and not move on so fast from what’s going on because you haven’t really sat with your feelings and gone through the process. What’s been upsetting you and why did it bother you. Why did you react that way. Well how did you get to Point E from Point B? Take a time out and sort these things out when you can because it’ll get you some clarity. There’s also a piece here about communicating and becoming vulnerable. It’s not exactly the same, but I need to figure myself out sometimes with talking and I end up stumbling upon revelations through discussions. You might need to have a low energy discussion with someone you feel comfortable with you so can get to these answers. You don’t need to immediately express or explain these things, but it will help you out. Some of you might need to re-route yourselves because you are lost and you took the wrong exit; it’s fine, that’s life and it’ll happen constantly. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about, if you weren’t here to make mistakes then what are you even here for. Confide in other people, ask for help, get some guidance. You can rely on those around you, not everyone will want to hurt you. I keep being nudged to an issue with identity and — for some it’s just figuring out who you are but there’s pain so if it is what i mentioned earlier, only you know yourself. People can help, but do not let them police who you are and decide what’s ‘correct’ and what’s not. The main message overall is that there is a need for you to be vulnerable with people — or at least someone. There is either embarrassment or pride here holding you back and it’s smothering emotions that end up causing inner turmoil. I would say this points to seeking out a therapist but there are no swords here, so I believe this could just point to finding people to confide in or making peace with the softer aspects of yourself that you might find shameful.

With ‘Chance’ and ‘Dive’, I believe it’s just pointing more towards diving deeper into unknown territory which would be emotions you haven’t explored yet. ‘You cant live your life dealing with surface level things’ is the phrase I’m getting.

Pile Two

Pretty simple so this might be short. The energy check is a bit out of reach despite how simple it seems. I think the first two songs might sum it up a lot better than I can. I don’t believe it deals directly with love, but the idea remains.

I think the advice here is to not teeter too much to one side. You’re not lacking in passion, but you might pull back too much if something fails. There’s a slim piece about being a bit scattered in where you want to go, but we’ll touch on that later. For now, it’s being enveloped by how alive you feel when you’re going after your dreams. How happy it makes you and the rush you get. I keep being drawn back to Passion Ignited as well as Aylis because they’re similar; a glowing ‘orb’ that’s placed over the chest somewhat. Ah that reminds me of The Greatest Showman. Just it’s song ‘Come Alive’, I think that fits this pile quite well. You just have to be comfortable diving into your passion and not be embarrassed, and even when making mistakes, to laugh it off and keep chasing after it. It doesn’t even have to be a dream — people call nearly everything cringe these days. Are we not supposed to have hobbies? Enjoy your hobbies, that’s the point of living. What does it matter. Express yourself and be a bit goofy, you’re a bit tense and scared of messing up right now, but it’s okay. Now before I mentioned being scattered — there’s a small message of getting a clear view of what you want in your life. Do you want to be an influencer or do you just want a good work-life balance. Or a remote job. It’s the general idea that you have which might not really be what you want at the end of the day, and they’re just asking you to clarify, because you can make certain things come true if that’s what you want. However, with just as many ‘let loose’ cards you have, they’re balanced with some grounded cards here. Also, if you haven’t reached your goal yet, don’t give up. We never reach our goal with just one attempt or in just one chapter. You will get there.

Tiger Lily...maybe my job example was on point? If you’re thinking of jumping into something headfirst with no back-up, really think about it. Make sure you have savings, you have a safety-net, you have all your bases covered, etc. There are plenty of people who can afford to take a risky route of income because other people are covering bills with an insane paycheck, or they’ve had years to build up a base. Be patient, and work dutifully to get to that place. It’s difficult, but with these really precious spread I believe that you will have much to offer people if you take your time. This doesn’t mean give up, it just means be smart and take your time.

Associated Songs: Passion – Utada Hikaru, All My Heart – Sleeping with Sirens, Tonight – Kesha

Pile Three

This is gorgeous. The energy while pulling cards was light and goofy and I’m understanding why now. The meaning of these cards would usually give off a blue/purple aura, since there are a lot of messages alluding to soul searching, but I believe this is more...personable? How do I explain this.

Usually when you think of soul searching, you think of The Hermit. Someone who pulls back from socializing and focuses on themselves. However with this combination, it feels more like really thinking about- I’m sorry the strongest smell just popped through my vents and it smells like Cinnamon. It is not my favorite but it reminds me of gatherings late at night, anyway — It feels like thinking about the people around you and how they reflect you and what you want in your life. You figure yourself out and what you want out of life by interacting with others. It’s not that you need others to do this, but they shine a light on certain aspects of yourself or they bring you to do activities that you wouldn’t have done on your own, thus making you have these realizations. So the advice itself is saying that you should sit on these moments and really let them seep in. They’re not necessarily telling you to isolate and do some introspective thinking, but when you have these moments, don’t push them aside to keep up with others. You have a knack for knowing yourself inside and out, and what’s best for you. I know that seems pretty normal, but it’s not necessarily common. Knowing who or what you want VS what you don’t is a good gift and you should be utilizing it right now. I keep hearing ‘don’t be satisfied’. Keep looking for things that really make you happy. It’s not in a greedy sense, but don’t think ‘well that’ll do’, go seek out experiences or hobbies that make you feel whole! I don’t deal with chakras, but all this green is hard to ignore considering it stands for the Heart and I’ve felt happy and calm the entire reading. There’s not much advice here because you might already have the answer inside of you but more like recommendations; such as going for walks, or having calm hangouts with friends or family. I think you’re already doing what’s being said here, but do your best to keep a balance of focusing on those revelations of what’s best for you and healthy doses of engagement with those around you. I don’t have to pull extra cards either, you seem to be doing quite fine honestly

(There are no songs here, a lot of light-hearted songs. Some goofy mixes. Good Time by Carly Rae Jepsen & Owl City as well as chill songs that don’t really have messages in them)

Pile Four

Confidence. That sums up your whole reading. Well that and some change. Right now it doesn’t necessarily feel like doubt or naysayers, but you don’t really have people to boost you up. Or you need to feel extremely safe/supported in order to really go after something — which feels more physical than spiritual. So it could be a change in majors, career, personal expression, hell maybe just changing direction with your life in terms of dropping out or not using your degree in pursuit of something else entirely. The flowers in the Deceit card resemble horns right now and it’s like opinions or external thoughts regarding the situation that can make you overthink your next steps or how you feel about the topic in general. Gosh I’m forgetting the term but in a way, they could end up being right in a sense that they affect your natural ability and make you way too anxious to perform naturally, thus making you fail. So it’s the ‘well I’m going to fail so I’m not even going to do my very best’ so when you fail you think it was destined to happen.

Your guides and angels are asking you to just take a chance and trust in the adventure. You have to move with confidence, you can’t be sheepish with this. You could be new to this change, so obviously mistakes will happen, but you can’t go into this with a pessimistic attitude. I’m seriously not getting any negative energy around you so don’t worry about that. If the world around you is dull, explore different avenues that give you joy. I’m always going to say to never just leap into the unknown without any thought, but you seem extremely hesitant and it’s holding you back from a new chapter and great experiences that are meant for you. This could be in the shape of a new job or merely just new friends who could help you gain more confidence within yourself. Again though, this pile seems more material based than the others, so I’m thinking it’s related to money matters or at the most, possibly moving but that’s a stretch. There’s a small piece of being scared to take up new opportunities because you’re not well versed in them but, you won’t know everything in the world? The only way to gain experience is to test it out. If it’s for you, then you’ll know once you try it, right?

Haha the Bear! Yeah, this is an uncomfortable time for you, but it’s urging you to sort of learn how to walk, and embrace the natural calmness yet underlying formidable strength of this animal. I’m thinking of when someone was arguing that the bear was one of the scariest predators in the world, but this card also stands for inner strength and you literally have Strength here so, you just have to be comfortable entering this new stage of life (transitions, which there are too many examples for me to list here). Don’t be hard on yourself, everyone has been in your place before.

(Not many songs, just Bends by Carly Rae Jepsen stood out)

[flightfoot]

Marinette Completed Angst Fic Reclist

I know some people really like this genre, so I figured I'd make a list for it! These will obviously all be completed, and none of them will be bashing fics, and PLEASE don't rec any fics on this post that are bashing fics, I don't want to see them.

Some of these will have my own commentary about the fic attached to it, for if I've put them on a previous reclist where I had that commentary written out. But a lot of the older fics won't.

For a fic to count for this, the angst Marinette goes through can't just be her being upset about what someone else is going through, though the angst of the fic doesn't only need to be hers, so long as she has her own angst which is a decently prominent part of the fic.

---

one does not love breathing by @wackus-bonkus-maximus

All of Paris watched as Hawkmoth murdered Chat Noir, taking the Black Cat Miraculous for himself. Ladybug swears revenge, but her enemy—and every miraculous in his possession—disappear without a trace.

Six years later, a new team of villains launches an attack for the last remaining Miraculous: Volpina, armed with new powers; Queen Bee, with questionable loyalty; Argos, the new holder of the Peacock Miraculous; and Cat Walker, who Ladybug hates the most.

Takes place after S4 - Strike Back.

This is a simply phenomenal fic. You get to explore a lot of different perspectives, like Felix, Kagami, Marinette, and Adrien’s, just to name a few, and see their different thought processes and plans and priorities, and how it can cause their plans to collide with each other, even when they all ultimately are aiming for a good outcome for everyone. The characters are pretty complex and can mess up at times, even when they’re doing things (or not doing things, looking at you Luka) with the best of intentions. It was a joy to read and a real nail-biter the whole time, I actually wrote a fic for it halfway through just to resolve some of the tension for myself, One Does Not Love Shadows.

It also features the version of Luka I’ve connected best with to date, as he feels like Luka, but also is a lot more fleshed out, and can make some major errors while simply trying to avoid missteps. It’s helped me get a better handle on a character who I’ve generally had a lot of problems with really understanding.

It is an M-rated fic, though I think Wackus is being overly cautious on that front. There’s no sexual content and I wouldn’t put the violence or gore above a T-rating, so I wouldn’t let the rating scare you off.

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you don’t even know me at all (but I was made for loving you) by @ladyofthenoodle

They didn’t remember each other. The hospital told them there’d been an accident—brain damage—but Alya had told them the truth, later. Who’d they’d been to each other. What they’d given up, and why. But even with their memories of each other gone, Adrien and Marinette are still inextricably tied together—by law, by their social circles, and by their hearts. And in the apartment they share, there’s only one bed.

Yep, it’s the “there was only one bed” trope XD! I especially love how it was used here, how Adrien and Marinette are strangers now but they had a whole life together, and they pine for each other even without remembering, and how Marinette just can’t believe how in love with her Adrien is even though he doesn’t remember her. I loved the emotional turmoil the two of them went through together in the fic, and the resolution, it’s great!

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fine line by @bbutterflies

“Catwalker?” Loveybug asks. “Hmm?” “Do you remember… what happened before us?” “What do you mean?” “Before we were heroes. Was there someone else?” Catwalker goes quiet for a moment. “I don’t know,” he finally says.

This is a surprisingly angsty take on the Loveybug AU. Here, since the Loveybug and Cat Walker transformations are so unnatural, they’re having negative side effects on Marinette and Adrien, causing them to be constantly exhausted and even to get amnesia the longer they continue using them.

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do you think I have forgotten about you? by @roseinaugust

Based on the song ‘About You’ by The 1975. Memory Loss. Told in alternating time lines, one leading up to and one dealing with the aftermath of Marinette relinquishing the Miracle Box and the guardianship. Marinette struggles with her life after losing her memory, though there is a persistent voice that calls to her that always seems just out of reach in her memory.

Beautiful memory loss fic here, with seeing Ladybug’s and Chat Noir’s relationship before she gave up the Miracle box, juxtaposed with the present day, when Adrien is only a stranger to her. I could really feel how Marinette was struggling with navigating these new circumstances, with her friends seeming to expect her to remember, to be who she was to them, to Adrien especially, before, and her just… not knowing whether she can do that. It’s got a happy ending though, for those who are concerned about that.

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Our Tales Are Endless (That’s Why I Tell Them) by @joonapeach

Marinette lives a simple life - one surrounded by pretty dresses, fresh macaroons, and the calming view of Paris. It’s a life she thinks she has always fit in. And yet sometimes, when a certain boy comes by her shop with a flower and a new adventurous story, she can’t help but wonder if there’s something else she’s missing.

This was a truly gorgeous story. It’s the classic “Marinette gives up the Miracle Box and loses her memories” storyline, exploring her life two years later. Even though she’s had time to heal and recover, she still feels like she’s missing something, something big. At least Adrien’s stopping by regularly to tell her stories about Ladybug and Chat Noir, even if she doesn’t understand why they resonate with her so well.

---

I (Wish I) Knew You by @buggachat

University has been hard on Marinette. Making new friends and maintaining her grades is a lot easier said than done when she has to disappear at odd times to fight akumas. She's struggling, and with Alya away with family and Adrien painfully out of reach, she's never felt lonelier.

If only she could talk to someone who really understood her struggles... but it's not like Chat Noir would know anything about loneliness. Right?

Nice aged-up Ladynoir fic here! Marinette’s struggling with losing friends and lovers because of her flakiness due to her superhero activities, until at last she breaks down. Thankfully, Chat Noir’s there at least - and it soon turns out he’s got problems of his own that he’s been hiding.

There’s some fluff and angst, it’s mostly just the two of them navigating life, dealing with their feelings and talking things out.

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If I Let Myself Love You by @uptoolateart

It’s hard to be a normal girl with a normal life when your mother has terminal cancer. And when fashion model Adrien Agreste moves back to Paris and wants to be Marinette’s friend – or maybe even more – her life is turned upside down again.

How can she risk opening her heart to love when her whole world is falling apart? Especially when Adrien is hiding a dark secret of his own….

- COMPLETE FIC – updates on Sundays

*** No kwamis AU - 100% Adrinette. About half of it is fluffy and half heavy. Please read tags for trigger warnings. ***

This fic can be rough, definitely pay attention to the tags. There’s no villains in this story, it mostly centers around themes of dealing with illness - both being sick and having a loved one who’s terminally ill - and death, grieving someone who’s lost, and how difficult that can be. It can get pretty gut-wrenching at times, especially as you slowly discover more layers of what’s really going on, what both Adrien and Marinette are hiding, both from others and from themselves in order to help cope with their circumstances. But they still move forwards together, regardless.

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Between the Heavens and the Embers by @readersmoon

Everyone in Paris remembers the fateful night of January 16, when the city was attacked by the most powerful and destructive akuma ever created. The assault, which lasted for hours, resulted in the death of 439 people.

Marinette Dupain-Cheng was among the casualties.

Years later, Adrien hasn't been able to move on, haunted by the memories of her broken body. So, when the opportunity to leave Paris for a while presents itself, he doesn't hesitate. But this trip might end up giving him more than he ever dreamt of.

This is a fantastic fic, though a serious and a dark one - make sure to mind the tags, and it’s M-rated for a reason. Vee - or rather, Marinette - is going through a horror story here. Imagine finding out that your life is a lie, that everyone you thought you could trust was manipulating you, that you were just being continually gaslit for years. 

As for Adrien, Alya, and Nino... well, none of them took Marinette’s “death” all that well, especially Adrien. Finding out that she’s been alive all this time, in these horrible circumstances, and they had no clue... it’s hard on them as well.

I love how this fic goes into how much trauma everyone has even after the immediate danger’s dealt with, you don’t just walk off this kind of experience, especially with how many years this lasted.

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in case you don’t know me tomorrow by @thelibraryloser:

“We live in a crazy world where pieces of our lives can be erased like they never even happened. I just wanted to memorize this moment so… so I could keep it, if that makes sense.”

Adrien’s heart gave a little flutter. She wanted to keep this moment, meeting him. She wanted to keep… him.

“I understand exactly what you mean.“

In a world that has created a way to selectively delete memories, no moment is truly safe. So how do you hold on to something when the memory of it is gone? And how do you keep fighting for someone when you’re the only one who remembers?

This is a SEVERELY underrated fic. It’s got some shades of “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” in the world, though the plot is very different - the memory erasure ain’t willing. 

Basically, the first few chapters are establishing Adrien’s and Marinette’s romance, and then the rest of the fic is dealing with Gabriel being an absolute DICK and using any means at his disposal to break them apart. It’s fantastic and I highly recommend reading it!

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hella enchanted by @xiueryn:

Years ago, Marinette’s father died and she was left with her awful stepmother. With magic forcing her to obey every command, she lived as a servant and gave up hope. When a man appears, searching for the very fairy that blessed her, Marinette decides to give life one more try. AU.

(a different ella enchanted au.)

Even though it’s a one-shot this one is pretty long, clocking in at over 30k words. Absolutely worth a shot, though. The first third is basically Marinette dealing with being pushed around because of her “blessing”, and the other two-thirds is just some adorable fluff of her and Adrien touring the country together. 

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Echoes of You by kittinoir

In the day time, she's Marinette - a normal girl, with a normal life. A normal girl, with a normal life. A normal girl, with... Not Season 4 Compliant; please, no spoilers

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balancing act by fictionalinfinity

“Besides, being Ladybug always came first. It came before school, friends, and sometimes even family. Now it had to come before her health. Marinette had a duty to Paris. She wouldn’t let them down.” Or, being both Ladybug and the Guardian starts to take its toll on Marinette. - the epilepsy au literally no one asked for

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Some Days by @merrygreenie

Some days are worse, and others are a little better, little by little and day by day. Marinette Dupain-Chen is learning how to live her new normal after living in confinement and being tortured by Hawkmoth. She is thankful to have her friends and family to support her. And a very special Chat who loves her very much. *This story contains scenes of violence and torture this is a whump fic*

This fic has some great angst, but be warned, it's not kidding about the violence and torture. Honestly, it should probably be rated M instead of Teen, given that while the fic mostly takes place after Marinette escapes and while she's recovering, we do get a detailed flashback to her torture.

[sidsinning]

Nobody:

My brain at 3 am:

Alucard's relationships with Seras and Integra in both animated versions of the series tells you a lot about his character and the differences between each version of him.

When you really think about it, Alucard in Hellsing (2001) actually gave Seras a clear choice by telling her what he would do to kill the evil vampire and his offer, waiting for her answer before going through with the gunshot. Throughout the whole fight Seras was firmly within the grasp of the evil vampire so there was little for Alucard to do to save her besides this offer based off the limits to his powers he had in this version of the series. It was most likely a rare sense of compassion that drove Alucard to give this small human a chance to live and be guided by his presence. This is shown throughout the show as he maturely and calmly walks her through the process and looks over her choices on her journey. He silently watches over the choices she makes by drinking blood or not, rejecting his blood, and lets her freely discover/adapt to her new life.

Ultimate however paints a different picture. The Alucard we know in Ultimate is much more selfish, emotionally immature, and heavily basks in his bloodlust and insanity, even moreso than Alucard 2001. Seras was out of the grasp of the evil vampire when Alucard appeared as a distraction in this scene. If he was really concerned with saving her he would have immediately dispatched the evil vampire and let her go on her way. I deduce he already planned, at least subconciously, to have Seras make the impossible choice to die or become a vampire like him. He saw how Seras fought back when faced with the evil vampire's threats to assault and enslave her and decided then she was worthy of being a proper vampire by his side. Like he says, it was a contemplative moment of whimsy and slight compassion, but moreso that selfish side of Ultimate Alucard coming through in wanting a companion of sorts after years of solitude.

This is why unlike 2001, he is a lot more frustrated and exasperated with her choice to not drink blood or free herself of his power over her. He wanted to have someone equal by his side, an equal ally to walk the night with, but ended up with a pseudo daughter-student-servant of sorts who was strangely HAPPY remaining by his side under him. He's frustrated but also fascinated at her stubbornly trying to cling to her humanity despite having the means to become all powerful like him. Unlike 2001, he slowly, gradually becomes the parental support Seras really needed instead of the master to slave relationship they have on paper. He is eventually willing to teach her on her terms while nudging her not to just be powerful for his own desire, but to step up to what she is now that she's no longer human. It is the best path he sees for her growth as a person.

It's why he gives her that endearing head pat after she wipes out the army invading the manor. Despite still not drinking his blood, he sees her at her full potential and contentment with her place under him and is happy for her, fully seeing her as her own person with her own goals in life that differ from his own. Not drinking human blood legitimately hurt her which was unacceptable and unsustainable, while not drinking his blood in particular was ok in the end, something he comes to terms with, because being connected to him is what she wants.

His relationship with Integra in 2001 is very strictly master to servant with Alucard holding a deep sense of undying loyalty and respect for the mostly stoic and pragmatic Integra. Rarely will Integra show affection to Alucard on a human level, at least obviously. She is more cold and decisive, telling Alucard he doesn't make decisions after Alucard tells her he wants Seras to be transferred into their organization. Despite this, Alucard is still devoted and caring towards her, telling Seras how strong Integra is for potentially sacrificing her life to not become a vampire. The bond they have is still powerful and deep, as her meeting with Alucard largely remained the same in both versions. She went from a brave but not completely fearless little girl with the guts to declare herself his master after witnessing his massacre of her uncle's guards, to the fearless and capable leader he now serves happily.

In Ultimate however, their relationship is much warmer as it shows her accommodating him with luxuries like a private jet and his own hotel room, smirking and bantering with him back and forth, and not shutting him down when concerning Seras, instead asking him about his choice. She is much more curious to understand him despite still seeing him as her servant and weapon to her organization. This warmth and compassion is also extended to Seras who she offers her own blood to. Alucard is also completely devoted and loyal to Integra, but the professional line between them is a bit more blurred. He holds a strange desire to see Integra bask in the same bloodlust he feels, to lose herself to the insanity of battle and bloodshed- having the AUDACITY to tell her he got aroused by her orders, then asking her, his master, whether or not she got turned on by his actions at her command. It shows a deeper desire for her that is not clearly defined as romantic, but definitely charged in a way 2001 was not. This Alucard's insanity and lust for battle consumes him much more than 2001 Alucard. He is always trigger happy to the point of making it everyone else's problem. It's his emotional immaturity coming through because- who the fuck asks something like that to anybody??? 2001 Alucard strictly respects Integra on an intellectual level while Ultimate Alucard,,,holds something that goes deeper into his carnal desires. Selfish little asshole that throws a tantrum when his battles don't end the way he likes, accidentally taking out his emotions on his surrogate daughter, feeling regret and remorse 2001 Alucard has not because of his patience and emotional maturity in regards to those important to him.

By the end of Ultimate, Alucard the selfish, emotionally immature, crazy man child that he is, displays his firm possessiveness over both Seras and Integra to Walter to taunt, belittle, and degrade him for the hell of it. To feel petty superiority.

-then I wake up and think about all of this all over again 🥴🥴🥴

[feyspeaker]

Hi! I made an account just so I could follow your work. Your art is brilliant and honestly and inspiration to where I want to be. I’m an older artist who has all the anxiety when it comes to improving my process. I’m trying to get into digital portraits and I have so many ideas in my head, but it’s frustrating because I’m not where I want to be to make this happen. What are some tricks that help you/software do you use? Of course, you don’t have to share anything that makes you uncomfortable. I currently have procreate and an iPad, but I feel a little lost. Wondering if I need a different writing tablet and photoshop. Not sure. I just eventually want to find that 3D, but also artistic look you are able to achieve.

hey there! thank you so much!!

ultimately, I will sound like a broken record but I always recommend you sign up for local figure drawing or painting classes. have people pose for you at home and sketch with charcoal and paper. go to the zoo and sit down in front on an exhibit for an hour and try to draw the animals in front of you as fast as you can and fill a couple of pages, move on to a new exhibit and do it again!

nothing is more powerful of a tool to learn than whatever writing utensil you have in your purse and the back of a napkin when you see something you'd like to capture. I've spent quite frankly my entire rememberable life doing this. I used to spend every single day in middle school/high school/my brief failed stint in community college with a pack of cheap sharpies and a beat up binder full of old worksheets and homework to draw on the backs of.

drawing/painting from life will teach you better than anything.

I use a very outdated version of Photoshop, and only got a "nice" tablet in the past 7 months.

Also, a huge tip to you and anyone else reading this: do NOT get too focused on a "style" that you want. Obsessing over that just ruined me for years and years. I wanted so, so, so badly to be the next Matsuri Hino when I was a kid. I copied her work religiously and it NEVER looked right. Frustrated me to no end. And you know why my stuff never looked like hers? Because I'm not her! You can't force your art to come out any way that isn't natural, and the sooner you can accept the art your hand wants to create, the happier you'll be and the easier art will get for you.

The past couple of years before I started diving into this more realism based work, I was just shoving myself through trying to make what art I envied of others. Very stylized/textured watercolor comic book style stuff. And I just was NOT getting any better at it. I have always been more inclined toward realism work, but I've hated it and yearned for stylized work. Yoshitaka Amano? God, I just drooled over that artstyle and beat myself up for never being able to capture it in studies or otherwise.

I finally essentially restructured my entire career around making the art that makes me happy instead of what I "wanted" it to look like. I was extremely depressed, my life was falling apart, and I still needed to make art to survive but I couldn't "art" if I was depressed and hated doing it, so I just had to step back and stop worrying so much about what I thought I wanted to make, and started making what felt most natural.

there's no easy way, and art can be a soul destroying path at times, truly. your software and hardware should come very last place compared to practicing from life (it doesn't matter if you want to paint cartoony stuff of realistic stuff, always start from life). naturally you will find what makes your heart sing the most.

I get a lot of messages from people telling me similar stuff "oh your art is EXACTLY what I want to do!" but I promise you that kind of thought process is chasing a dragon that is likely to harm or drag your creative process down. art style is such a deeply personal thing, so of COURSE it's important to find inspiration, but the second looking at someone else's artwork stops inspiring you and starts frustrating you, put it away.

There are some artists who I love, that I do not check up on often because their artwork ignites, like, serious bitter jealousy in me. It's the truth. I get so mad at myself for not being more like them, and it's such a poison. I think more artists should be transparent about this feeling because I KNOW the art community has a lot of jealousy and ugliness in it.

A fact of being an artist is that you will never be completely happy with a piece you make. You are always going to see the flaws, and that doesn't change whether you'd been drawing for 2 months or 20 years. Occasionally, you will get one piece that you are like "how did I make that???" and then get frustrated that you can't recreate it lol! It's a tough beast.

It's just really important to step back and work on yourself and where you are at, because at the end of the day, the way your soul wants to express artwork might be WILDLY different from what your brain wants, and it can be really detrimental to let those two go to war.

I hope this helps. I'm very passionate about this, and when I started out I ALWAYS ignored the artists who gave the same exact tips as above. I thought they were so annoying and unhelpful, but now I /get it/.

[enby-dragoon]

Rating the IBO Gundams by how much I personally want to fuck them

Hello, I've been writing Gundam fanfiction recently and that has gotten me intensely horny. This was the result.

The following is mostly just my opinion, formed by a combination of aesthetics and role in the series.

Unless they're very different I'll be looking at only the final version of each Gundam.

1: ASW-G-08 Gundam Barbatos Lupus Rex

We're starting off strong with this one. Lupus Rex is very butch. She'd wrestle me to the ground and I'd thank her, and if I wrote down what I want her to do with that tail and those claws, I'd have to set this post to mature.

Conlusion: Very fuckable in a way that would hurt me, but sometimes you just want to be hurt you know?

2: ASW-G-11 Gundam Gusion Rebake Full City

Gusion is the kind of guy who outwardly seems extremely tough and masculine, until you talk to him and realize he has a pet goldfish and does model building as a hobby.

Unfortunately he's also a bit shy, so we'd never actually get together, neither of us would be able to work up the courage to ask.

Conclusion: Very fuckable if one of us got drunk or something. Bonus points for probably being the healthiest relationship of the bunch.

3: ASW-G-64 Gundam Flauros (Ryusei-Go)

Flauros knows exactly who he is and wants to be, and he's not afraid to be open about it.

Of all the Post-Disaster Gundams, Flauros is the only one capable of transforming and I, uh, may or may not have a clip of that saved for... Research purposes.

Also those big cannons, which in his transformed state become electromagnetic railguns!

Conclusion: Probably the sexiest one of the lineup here, if not the sexiest. I want him to fire those cannons if you get what I mean.

4: ASW-G-01 Gundam Bael

The first of these not from Tekkadan, and fittingly the first one ever built too.

This picture doesn't really do him justice, he looks much better in motion, especially those wings.

Bael is interesting, because on his own he's plenty fuckable (if a bit dedicated to duty), his problems are mostly the kinds of people that surround him.

He's definitely old money, but he genuinely works hard and got his position through merit rather than nepotism.

his friends, however, are normal rich people, and thus the worst.

Conclusion: A one night stand would work, but anything more would see his friends try and get rid of me for his reputation.

5: ASW-G-29 Gundam Astaroth Origin

Astaroth is a military veteran, which is a bit of a turn off, and his colour scheme is also too samey, he really should have added some other colours than red and grey.

Conclusion: Not my type.

6: ASW-G-32 Gundam Asmoday

Now here's a much better colour scheme, the lime green adds some much needed oomph to what would normally be a pretty drab look.

Unlike Astaroth Origin, Asmoday gives the impression of a resistance fighter, he doesn't want to fight, but he will do it for a cause he believes in, and won't slaughter children in the process.

Conclusion: Unfuckable only because we'd get too distracted discussing political theory.

7: ASW-G-35 Gundam Marchosias

Marchosias is badassery incarnate. She has a sword that can turn into a mace, and then has four extra swords on top of that.

I want to find out what else those arms can do, if you catch my drift.

She has also completely disappeared, and the cops are after her.

Conclusion: We'd fuck, and then I'd wake up to an empty bed with a note apologizing for having to leave early.

8: ASW-G-56 Gundam Gremory

Gremory is, so obsessed with being cool and edgy that it's like he never grew up past 14.

His claws look nice, but it's not enough for him to stand out, his gimmick is wearing a hood for stars sake!

Conclusion: Unfuckable

9: ASW-G-XX Gundam Vidar

Vidar is what Gremory wants to be. he's cool, he's mysterious, he's got swords in his feet, and he actually has a good colour scheme.

He's pretty obsessed though and not exactly mentally stable.

Conclusion: while a relationship is off the table, a night of rough sex is not.

10: ASW-G-66 Gundam Kimaris Vidar

And breaking into the double digits is... Vidar again.

Kimaris Vidar has all the same problems that Vidar does, and none of the good parts.

he looks like a prototype that was smashed together over the weekend.

Conclusion: No

11: ASW-G-71 Gundam Dantalion

Dantalion is... Interesting. She looks a bit plain on her own, unfinished almost.

You'd think her armor fixes that, but it makes it seem like she's compensating for something, it doesn't fit her at all, like she's trying hide away who she is beneath it all.

Conclusion: That girl needs help, and I don't think I could give it to her.

12: ASW-G-11 Gundam Gusion

This is Gusion before he pulled his life together. He's hanging with a bad crowd, takes credit from others work, and is one step away from being a nazi.

He's an incel, essentially.

Conclusion: No woman wants to be in a two mile radius of him, me included.

13: ASW-G-04 Gundam Gamigin

He has a fucking revolver-hammer-glaive and a minigun.

This guy would smash down the door of a nazi and threaten to beat him to death.

Unfortuneately, he's also an enforcer for a very rich family.

Conclusion: I could fix him.

14: ASW-G-16 Gundam Zepar

He pretends to be a knight, fighting for justice and all that, but secretly is just the worst.

Also, he's definitely a crypto bro. Instant turn off.

Conclusion: I'll send you an NFT of my fucking dick, bitch.

15: ASW-G-48 Gundam Haagenti

This girl is ready to fight, and she doesn't have to stop being feminine to do that.

She would, however, definitely be a terf and call me a slur.

Conclusion: I don't have a degradation kink.

16: ASW-G-54 Gundam Murmur

In an alternate universe where I was a rich cis woman, we'd have an affair while our husbands were away which would scandalize the business world.

Hower, I am a disabled trans woman.

Conclusion: She's more likely to call the cops on me than go down on me.

17: ASW-G-61 Gundam Zagan

Zagan works out a lot, and brags a bunch about being a professional athlete.

However, he is actually a loser who is ontologically incapable of winning.

Conclusion: Normally not into such muscular men, but I'd make an exception if he dropped the bragging.

And that's all the IBO Gundams I could find ranked by how fuckable they are.

If you disagree with this list remember: My opinions are objective fact and anyone who disagrees with me is wrong.

[writing-whump]

Don't forget to breathe

The end of vacation and other things. Very angsty talk between Seline and Isaiah.

"Alright, Sel, I know my awesome broad shoulder is very fun to lean on, but get off."

Seline grumbled at Dylan, closing her eyes even harder. "Don't be meannnnn..."

"This is me being the nicest I can," Dylan assured her, twitching under her head. "You are heavy. Please, get off."

Seline rolled her eyes and complied, rolling off Dylan who was playing Playstation on the tv in his and Rip's apartment in Bulgaria. And her head sank right back onto the couch.

Dylan jumped right up as if it had really only been her weight keeping him down the past hour and started to dramatically rampage through his cupboard for clothes. The Slovak playlist he put on during the game still played in the backround.

Dylan finally selected a shirt and shorts, styling his hair in the mirror. "You sure you are not coming? It's the last day. Plus we got exciting guests and all. Goodbye wolf party!"

Seline scoffed at the way his ironic tone morphed into genuine enthusiasm at the end. "Wolf party? No, thanks."

Dylan gave her meaningful looks, probably wanting to lock the place up and go—they were meeting with Rip after the training right at the beach at sunset, when the people were leaving, so they could do some running together.

When Seline refused to move, her brother shrugged and left the key with her inside the door as he left. Whistling as he went, just like their dad. It made a corner of her lips lift up.

The holiday month turned out to be incredibly difficult. Seline had not realized how much until Shawn and Lilian really drove it home for her.

She loved this place. She loved the sea and the magic and the beaches and the concerns of what cool restaurant where they going to eat next or what book she should try out.

So why was being here with her pack, her best friends, her boyfriend so freaking exhausting?

The constant consideration she had to put into her hair, her outfit, the swimsuits. The way she would watch out for Isaiah and his healing process showing up, only to find him being with Matthew rather than with her, when he felt off or tired. Or the way Isaiah wouldn't spar with Hector or the way everyone talked about Rip, but nobody talked with Rip for some reason.

This was all...normal, in a sense. She was used to it from home. But it didn't register until she met Shawn. Or rather, until she met the version of Isaiah around Shawn.

He was a completely different person. He got teased and teased back. He smiled like a little kid. Shawn managed to pull him into silly quests and contests that she would think Isaiah too serious and mature to engage in.

She could see the way Isaiah relaxed around him. This wasn't just trust, this wasn't the forced performative whatever he had with her. He allowed himself to be silly. Was it all Shawn's personality? Did Isaiah simply do his personality mirroring thing, fitting in with how Shawn was?

Seline couldn't really fault Shawn either. She didn't entirely trust him, he was powerful and knowledgable, but he was just so easygoing. Casual. Natural. She didn't feel the need to perform in front of him like in front of Isaiah. And her boyfriend seemed to share the sentiment.

Or maybe it was Lilian's fault. Lilian, Levi's child. The legendary Executioner's youngest daughter. The talented young witch, the whole city, was apparently fighting for like a prize that would determine their standing and power.

Lilian, who waltzed right into her room, gave her a scornful one-over and decided Seline wasn't worthy of Isaiah's position.

And Seline didn't even know why. Because of Isaiah's shadow? Because of his Executioner position, he was in such a denial about? Because of what she was missing in the traditional witch education? What was it?

Lilian and Shawn were like from a different world. Rip sometimes also had those surprised glances, like he wasn't sure if her and Matt weren't joking about something, but those two were the real deal. This was the world of wolves, hierarchy and pack dynamics. Stuff that she and Dylan had no ideas about, that Matt got kicked out from.

All the things that Isaiah could patronizingly forgive them for not knowing. Wasn't it weird they were the people he surrounded himself with? Exactly her, Matt and Dylan? And now Rip, who didn't really have anywhere to go?

Things have become a lot clearer in the past few days since their visit. They were not more difficult, just more obvious why they were difficult.

No, she wasn't going to the goodbye party on the beach.

...

She waited on the balcony of her room. Matthew went with Dylan and Rip to watch the Deadpool 3 opening dance that Dylan had been practicing and the rest of the pairs went to their own places.

It couldn't have been better if she planned it.

Isaiah came into the dim room, squinting at her. "Why are the lights out? You okay?"

Seline threw her leg over the other, leaning back in the chair.

"Why didn't you want to come? I texted you."

Her phone was on the table in front of her. Yes, it vibrated a couple of times. Isaiah texted her, like a good boyfriend should. Being concerned. Being interested. She shook her head in disgust. "I'm tired."

"Too many people, huh? You needed the time for yourself, I get it," Isaiah added softly, joining her on the balcony to brace against the railing.

She hesitated. "No. I'm tired of this, Isaiah."

"Of what?"

"I'm so tired of being the one with the least points."

The sentence hung between them stiffly.

Isaiah turned around, hands still on the railing to keep up, frowning at her. "If you mean the stuff Lilian told you, it's no matter-"

"No. Yes. It's many things." She lifted her eyes at him. "Who exactly is Shawn to you? How can he just come over and be this friendly and close, when we have never heard about him before?"

Isaiah looked a bit uncomfortable, but the stoic mask was slipping into place. He already took her as the adversary in the conversation. "He is abroad a lot. There wasn't much to tell."

"I thought wolves didn't touch each other outside the pack. That they were sensitive about people they trusted."

"Yes-"

"Which means you are not strangers. You even seem to be particularly close." Closer than with me. But that was it, wasn't it? They were supposed to be close, cause they were dating. He should be holding her hand and she should be hearing about his problems first. He should care for her when she was sad and she should be there for him, when he was sick.

They were playing their roles so well.

Isaiah chuckled, but there was something choked up about it. "Don't tell me you are jealous of Shawn?"

Oh, I'm jealous of everyone. I'm jealous of every time you lean on Matt instead of me. I'm jealous you train with Rip. I'm jealous you are so concerned with Hector. I'm jealous you can melt up like that around Shawn. I'm jealous you and Lilian can talk about stuff I have no idea about. I can't join the conversation.

The whole summer, it felt like she was constantly waiting. Waiting for him to look at her, to make time for her. To be judged worthy of his attention, pretty enough to be his girlfriend, capable enough to be his witch, representative enough around his brothers.

It was so so tiring.

"I don't understand what's wrong," Isaiah said after another pause. But he didn't meet her eyes.

"Rationally? Logically? Nothing. We are the perfect match. We have enough similar interests, we find each other intellectually stimulating. You needed a witch and I needed a wolf. We respect and admire each other for our academic achievements and interests. It's so sensible."

"So what? We can only love each other if it's illogical? Aren't those good things?"

"They are. Except I don't feel anything. I'm just exhausted." She rubbed her face with her hands. "Why are we doing this again?"

Isaiah winced in alarm. "Sel. I don't- I don't understand what you mean. If this is about the point thing, I wanted to talk to you about it. I don't see the point-"

She burst into a laugh despite herself. The point of points?

"The points help me keep track, Isaiah. They help me analyze the situation." Seline threw her hair back from her face, catching his eyes glittering in the moonlight. "You want to know what I found out? You surround yourself with people with minimal points compared to yourself."

Isaiah stared at her wordlessly, mouth open.

"You feel like you got too much power. That it's underserved, all this natural strength and all that exclusive training and the pain that made it possible. You feel unworthy of the position of Executioner, maybe even look down on it to feel morally above it. At the same time, that power over others that you so gracefully deny is the main source of your sense of worth."

She smiled at him regretfully. "You feel defective. To make up for it, you need to feel superior to everyone around you."

Isaiah still stared at her. She had never seen such an empty expression on his face.

"To Matt with his control. To me, because I'm an outsider to the shadow wolves world. With Dylan, the same applies. With Rip, it's back to control again." She leaned back and wrapped her hands around her chest to hide how much they were shaking. Her insides were brewing with unease too outside of her control. "I realized when I watched you talk with Shawn and Lilian. An entirely different world out there we have no idea about. And you are one of it's most powerful players. So why exactly are you here with us, pretending it doesn't matter?"

Isaiah gripped the railing harder, the muscles rippling under the pale skin on his hands.

"At the same time, you aren't relaxing. You are tense. You always have to be the leader, the expert. I don't think I have ever seen you...with your guard down like that until now. Just having fun. Not teaching or leading or making yourself into an example of control. Not the way you are with Shawn... Because he is an equal to you."

The way we are not. That I'm not.

"In the end maybe the fault lies with me. We are too similar." She got up from the chair to lean against the railing with her legs. Overlooking the sea, while Isaiah faced the other direction.

"I too, need to feel superior around my friends. At the same time, I cherish having found an equal in-the-brain sort of sense. I enjoy your thoughts very much. But I'm tired of being one of those you keep around to feel better about yourself." She blinked back the tears in her eyes. "Call me too arrogant, but I can't take feeling like trash around you."

They were trapped. They were trapped in this performative dance of care and emotion, which might as well have been rationalization, convenience, and admiration. Maybe he respected her in that thinking sense as well, but she was so underneath him in the shadow expertise, the pack relationships, heck, even the understanding of what an Executioner actually was.

Am I talking too long again? Does my hair look alright in this wind? Why don't you look at me so I know I didn't style it in vain?

It probably wasn't Isaiah's fault she could hear her mother talking in such moments. They want pretty and attractive. You have to show them. They care through their eyes. It's only going to be worse from now on, you will get worse and they will have marriages and kids. You wasted your most beautiful years already.

Seline squeezed her eyes. She was so tired of hearing this every time she was around him. She was just so tired.

When she turned to leave, he didn't call after her.

He didn't stop her at all.