#i need to see demolisher get demolished
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transformer fans be like i love my beautiful wife DEMOLISHER .
#& that i DO !!!!!!#when he got stuck in the sand AGAIN and started whining for megatron#i love a pathetic man what can i say#also im obsessed with his platypus tail like hes just so cute to me#i need to see demolisher get demolished#HUH#WHO SAID TH#there needs to be more armada fic HNGHH wake UPPP!!!#poking the 1 million yr old dead fandom with a stick#cmonnnn.. do something...#as i feed u food of a character only me gaf abt LOL#soon.. i will draw hot shot and his fat ass thighs as well#demo's voice made me fall in love with him like being so fr it's so cute and goofy#love the voices in armada theyre so good#excluding the humans but the key to watching armada is skipping the stupid kids bro idgaf#the bullies are funny bcs eddy or edd i cant rmembrr anyway an ed edd n eddy actor plays the smaller one so hes funny#but idc im here for ROBUTTS 🤖#even tho my bbgirl hides his with his weird tail armor plate thing#he looks like grasshopper#hot rod on the other hand uhm sweats#maccadam#tf armada#transformers#demolisher#in japan hes iron hide which honestly i think rlly matches idk theyre both milfs like why not ill tag him ig#ironhide#transformers armada
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Knives is such a hypocrite and a liar and he lies most of all to himself and i hate him but i also love it. Bro's so coked up on copium all the time.
Claims to be doing it all for the sake of Plants, then arguably takes away their agency and freedom way more than humans ever could. Claims to be doing it for his brother and literally ruins his brother's life in every possible turn. Claims humanity never learns from their mistakes and it literally takes dying for him to stop doubling down on his bullshit. the medical abuse done unto tesla horrified him so much and yet he is directly responsible to the same abuse being subjected to countless of children.
Given the chance, I would love to be his sleep paralysis demon. i do not think I could fix him, but I think I can drive him to early retirement from super villainy.
#millions knives#trigun#tristamp#trimax#i hate this man but also i adore him#or at least i adore grinding his psyche between my teeth#guy has so much crunch to him#the worst possible man to me i need to ruin his life#i gotta say that when i first got into trigun the overall tone coming from the fanbase did soften me up to get absolutely demolished by#literally all the fucked up things happening all the time#but i see less ppl horrified about the fucked up things knives does to the sisters he claims to be protecting than i expected??#which idk feels like a waste#also saw someone who said who doesn't like a villain who just wants to protect his sisters and dude if that is what protection looks like#id rather be thrown to the wolves#he is so fascinating to me but also i understand him on a molecular level and thats why i hate him so much but again#crunchy guy#nai saverem#vash's mommy issues have nothing on knives i can prove it ( i cannot but i can infer and i can dream)
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I hope we get a scene of Alicent with Aegon's body. If her son is damned to die, if she is damned to spiral into insanity, if she is to lose her life too the grief, let me see her with his body.
let her hold her baby in her arms one more time. let her wipe the blood that poured from his mouth and nose as he died. let her run her fingers over the viscous burns that adorn his skin. let her fix his hair. let her bathe him with a cloth as she had when he was a babe. let her kiss his cheek, his forehead, his hair, his hands. let her lay her head against him, hugging him like she had failed to do for years.
he was her firstborn and yet, her heart was still beating and his was not, she was not yet cold in her grave, no, no her son was cold, her flesh was warm, too warm. he was her baby, her son, the boy she tried so hard to protect, who had loved even when it hurt, who she had stood in front of a dragon for. she loved him, the very bones of him, and now he was dead.
let her lose her mind right there, in that room, still clinging to her body, one that's too cold, too still, too quiet. let her scream out to the gods, damning them, cursing them for taking her eldest son, amongst everything else in her life.
I want her to drive away anyone who tries to take him from her, forcing the silent sisters or whoever would be left to deal with his body at that point. let her curse and spit and claw at anyone who comes too close.
she would stay there for hours, reflecting on her memories of him. maybe she talks to him or hums a lullaby until she finally loses her battle with what remains of her consciousness and sanity, falling still against the table.
she dreams of Aegon, she dreams of the life she wish she could have provided, the life she had tried so hard to give him. a life where he was safe, a life where she had been a better mother, a life where she didn't need to live in and impose fear up on her children. maybe if she had tried hard enough he would still be alive, she'll think as she floats in the space between consciousness and unconsciousness.
she'll wake in plain chambers she only partly recognizes, she'll learn of her sons lackluster and sparsly accompanied burning, she'll learn her son was gone and she was alone. there won't be much of her left to care. she just continues dreaming, dreaming of her dead children and spiraling to madness until her broken heart finally gives out.
[my previous post inspired this, cause all I can think about now is Alicent mourning her son and its gonna put me in an early grave]
#[I know she isn't with him in the book but shhhhhh enoughs already changed let me be delusional]#I don't want to see this happen. my girl need a goddamn break. but if its gonna happen just demolish my heart in one foul swoop#all or nothing#cause if I watch a slow decent into madness I'm going with her#let her break quick and fast for my sake#I haven't read the book (as i've said a trillion times before. I'll get to it eventually) so take this with a grain of salt#I don't think book alicent didn't love her children#I do think the love she held for them and the love show alicent held for them is very different simply due to circumstance#and I don't think show alicent is lasting very long after Aegon's death#i wouldn't be surprised if she died of a broken heart shortly after him#part of me fucking prays for it cause I don't know if I'll be able to cope with her grieving for 2 years#my heart just can't#and she doesn't deserve it#just let her reunite with her children and be at peace#don't make her suffer#let her say goodbye to her baby. give her closure. let her go#I beg#alicent hightower#pro alicent hightower#aegon ii#aegon ii targaryen#aegon targaryen#pro team green#hotd#house of the dragon#its fine. I'm fine. I totally like my emotions.
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Would Zephyr be proud of that if she was there?
I don't think you said it but it is more implied, but did Zephyr collapse before she could get off the string Tarrow version? Is she truly gone?
HEEHEE >:3ccc
yes! indeed! Zephyr has collapsed before the off-stringing. she's down for like... 20 or 30 years or so before that whole fuckery takes place. BUT
WELL
nothing truly dies, especially when it is an Iterator, ain't that right? and what do we have here? a Mechanic? an Iterator who used to create puppets? an Iterator who used to manufacture parts for over 5000 years that he knows like all recipes by heart now, a medic? well isn't That useful, wonder where all that could find its use
#spot says stuff#rw#oc tag#Zeph aint truly gone after her collapse anywhere! including canon even though in all versions her puppet gets absolutely demolished#she still needs to be ascended by saint in canon n all that which means that the structure/hivemind issssssss................. ₐₗᵢᵥₑ#small letters required cuz that Alive is one very dubious Alive#IDEALLY we will get to see that group clash at some point so ull see ull see her reaction doncha worry#first we gotta get thru EEEEEEverything else though at least a Lil bit dsgkmlkmdslkc#i still need to do a comic for boreas realizing hes an idiot and accept sparrows back#ough my fuckin backlog
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still thinking abt how much i need coraline's pink victorian house...
#uhhhh me#not that i would move out or get a new house anytime soon (insert housing market joke)#but i Am curious how much it would cost to buy an old house get it demolished and get a new custom house built#probably uhhhh honestly 10 million.#how do i even begin to research this. i just want to see how attainable it is lmao#i wouldn't even need a big house. i would be fine with a smaller house.#but even a smaller old house here costs 2 million
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Camelot 2023 Act 1 ramblings about the music and book and also the visuals again because turns out 3,000 words wasn't enough.
I cannot possibly recommend anyone actually read this because it is so absurdly, comically long but I needed to get some feelings out. Also it's in two parts because apparently Tumblr has a maximum character count and I hit it.
Overture
• Firstly, female conductor, we love to see it
• I love overtures and entr'actes and this show's is so good
• Shoutout to the orchestra
• I have never experienced a bad Broadway orchestra but still doesn't mean they do not deserve serious praise
• Does just the instrumental of Camelot make me very emotional and think about fundamental human goodness?
• Yes, this show did its job
• The end of the If Ever I Should Leave You part is just permanantly in my brain as the part during bows where they point to the orchestra
• Whatever the music that plays as everyone starts walking onstage is epic
• The vibe is set and I'm ready
Act 1 Scene 1: A hilltop near the castle at Camelot
• I've said it once and I'll say it one thousand times, I am obsessed with the way they've used the space in this show
• I love that they can walk up the back of the stage, I love that they have the stairs in front, I love that they've got so many exit and entrance points
• Sorry to the actors who probably had to do a lot of running around but it was fun for me
• As much as I like spectacle, I don't inherently prefer it over this kind of more minimalist thing
• But I do feel like they did a good job at conveying scale and drama even though the set is extremely minimal
• "I have the exact same amount of information that you do" just immediately starts the show off on the right foot
• This is a new take and I was here for it instantly
• And such a funny way to deliver a ton of exposition, this will be the first of what will become the prevailing theme of my rambling which is I adore Sorkin's writing beyond measure
• Merlyn's delivery drenched in sarcasm for every line is perfect and we clearly see where Arthur gets it from
• Specifically "do you know what calamity means?"
• But also "things in England are changing too fast"/"words that have never before been spoken"
• Establishing Sagramore in a funny way that becomes so serious by the end
• We jump right into the Sorkin dialouge rhythm and it feels so right
• There's the perfect amount of everyone overlapping each other and finishing the other characters' thoughts
• And also the jaunty music when most of the guards leave, like I don't exactly know why it sounds like that since it doesn't fit but I love it anyway
• I know it's part of at least the movie's score but like to me it's still strange, I've been calling it clown music in my head
• The difficulty finding the king exchange and also the pheasant hunting exchange are so funny and set the tone so well
• Can you see I'm attempting not the write out every line of dialouge?
• But also I love that we get this little build to Arthur to wonder what the hell is going on with this guy
• Because if you're me, you've come into this show with basically the association with JFK and that's it
• So I had no clue and was curious
• The knights have like mostly terrible points but Sagrimore's delivery of "snear all you like but five minutes ago we were at war with that girl's county and tomorrow I'll be swearing an oath to protect her with my life"
• He's not wrong
• The knights are so good, the actors are perfect
• Every bit of casting is inspired and those three are no exception
• "Arthur get the hell out of the tree"
• Again with no context, the tree really got me
• "Hiding, I'm obviously hiding" - I am instantly in, the delivery on this line is so funny
• Okay fine I was in from the way he said hello, also a hilarious delivery
• My roommate brought up immediately how effective it is not to have him do a British accent and how it again just makes Arthur relatable - genius
• Whatever voice he's doing is a perfect choice
• Also young Arthur is so much the right choice it's staggering to me that they ever did it any other way
• They thread the needle so perfectly of Arthur being young but not in a way where he's like an incompetent child
• Which I feel like is actually how some of the other versions with older actors still managed to come off
• But this Arthur is just young and trying
• "My mouth disconnects from my brain"/"I've witnessed that"
• As like a character note, I love that exchange but I also was worried this was gonna be what it usually is, which is a male character who cannot treat a woman like a human person
• But no, Arthur has absolutely no problem with that, his mouth only disconnects from his brain when he's trying to confess feelings and that is 1000% more endearing
• "Years of tutoring in philosophy and law, why didn't you ever teach me about love and marriage?"/"You're not marrying for love and there's nothing about it that can be taught."
• To which my roommate that I dragged to see this twice and who has just been forced to talk about this show with me, maintains that perhaps you could maybe convey that relationships are about communication
• That lesson might've helped just a bit
• "You're not marrying for love" like Merlyn is trying to warn Arthur and he sure did not listen
• "They should be reading" Arthur babe they literally can't, it's the Middle Ages
• Also the establishment of no magic is so deftly handled
• Arthur complaining that people think that dragons are real and you get exactly what this world is
• I love that I Wonder What the King is Doing tonight becomes his noble king music
• Also I just absolutety love any time anything has a recurring musical theme it just lights up some part of my brain every time
• The yelling of "he's scared" and all of the subsequent lyrics in that spot is again hilarious and just very good characterization
• Also the delivery of the slaying a dragon part whatever that singing accent is I love it
• Actually the way he sings all the parts where he's imagining what other people are saying
• The other characters have a lot of songs that are gorgeous and require some incredible vocals and songs with fun lyrics and fun performances but not at lot of them get to infuse this much personality and character into the songs through just the delivery
• Don't know if that's from the original or not but it's one of my favorite characters introductions I've seen in a bit
• From what I've seen this is definitely an escalation of previous versions and I adore it
• He's so annoyed, he hates this shit so much and he's so funny
• I mean also lots of credit to the lyrics because they are obviously very funny
• I love this song a lot
• Arthur's "shhhhit" when he realizes that he's managed to run into his future wife
• The multi-layered complication line, so quintessential Arthur
• The contrast between the gorgeous Julie Andrews channeling singing and Genny's brashness in her movement and dialouge
• Like obviously that's already in the lyrics but the book and direction just stretches it
• Everyone knew Phillipa Soo was going to be perfect and she is
• A lot of my strongest impressions are about Arthur
• Because I had no idea who the actor was and because in the limited amount of adaptations I'm familiar with of this whole story, Arthur is the bad guy or a good but extremely boring guy
• But I knew going in that I was gonna love Guenevere and Phillipa Soo even if I've never seen her on stage before
• So it was unsurprising
• Like my expectations were sky-high and she's so talented in every way and the writing for Genny is so good that she exceeded them anyway
• And she's so damn funny
• Obviously the whole rescued in the wood bit is already just a good joke and I'm honestly impressed with how funny the original songs are
• I am a sucker for the thing in stories where we know what's going to happen because they've been told so many times
• When they have a character say something the audience knows is foreshadowing
• "Cause a little war" is what I'm thinking of in this moment but there are tons and every time it's a hit with me
• The delivery of the clause one bit is perfect and her backing Arthur into falling on the bench and then just turning around and back to angelic singing
• The turnaround from the aggressiveness to the extremely soft and feminine singing is brilliant
• "The more knights slaughter each other, the fewer there are to slaughter the rest of us"
• The exchange about the dowry still being in the carriage
• Their deliveries are so funny
• They immediately bounce off of each other perfectly
• And Genny not even escaping with the dowry she's supposed to be using to buy her freedom, amazing
• "What is power uuuused for? That is a very interesting question."
• Genny just immediately knocking Arthur's socks off
• Trying to write out some of the word deliveries he does is so hard but there are a few that absolutely kill me
• They've known each other for five minutes and they're already having a debate
• "I've known kings, I'm daughter of a king so marrying a king doesn't have the same allure for me that it apparently has for you"
• She just speeds through those words at the end and it's great
• "They run to here" is another bit of hilarious delivery but I also love the contrast it sets up between Arthur trying to be kingly in a way that doesn't fit versus later when he does it his own way
• I could listen to them go back and forth saying why for ten minutes
• Genny's incredulousness when he says the weather
• I can't remember but I think she's walking away and then just turns to stare at him in absolute confusion
• Like he's so ridiculous that she can't help but engage
• I did a quick bit of intermission math and we know this takes place seven months before the Lusty Month of May which is obviously happening in May
• So Arthur is literally singing to Genny about how there's no winter until December while at best - assuming the one month later and six months later are rounded up - it is snowing at the absolute beginning of November
• More likely October
• No wonder Genny thinks he's full of shit
• His improv did not pan out
• This is a joke for me, thank you Aaron Sorkin
• Do love that canonically, Arthur is in fact singing the song Camelot - that he just made up in a panic - what a dork
• Genny's little interjections of skepticism are all so funny
• Also just instantly establishing her as someone you love
• She's perfect
• But my favorite is "my escape is time sensitive, do you understand that?"/Arthur still singing/"no he does not"
• These actors are both hilarious, the amount of stuff required of musical theater actors continues to blow my mind
• Like not only to do the whole singing, dancing, and acting thing but then you have to convey it to a whole theater but also not overact to the people up close and be able to do comedy and drama how
• I was in practically the back row up top and not a good view but extremely close (like seeing the actors spit close) on the side for the under 35 tickets and then also in very good seats and the performances by literally everyone never felt too much or not enough
• "Are there any other people in these woods you could recommend?"
• Also this moment which is the cutest thing you've ever heard
• Do I remember exactly what happened? No. But do I know it was adorable? Yes.
• "And we have poets in France"/"Oh yes of course... But do you?"/Genny angrily naming French poets/"Understood" and he's already singing again
• The entire performance of this song and especially getting her to sing along, so charming in the most annoying way
• But also she's sort of into it which is cute
• I do see on YouTube that there was a bit more to this French poets discussion which was probably right to cut but I am delighted to find literally anything new
• Sidebar
• I have been known to have issues with staying present when I watch things and not letting my mind start wandering. And one of the reasons I knew Camelot was good the first time was that I was totally engaged the whole show. But the last time, I did have the one moment where a thought popped into my brain during this song that completely threw me out of it
• And that thought was "this Barbie has taken a carriage ride to hell" after Genny says that line and like why brain?
• (For the record Genny and Arthur are both Barbies. They are everything. Lance is just Ken. Perfecting his body and soul is his beach. He is Kenough. Arthur and Genny have a terrible day every day. Lance only has a terrible day if Arthur and/or Genny look at him.)
• (I believe I have come up with a combination of words that have never been spoken before and perhaps a genuinely new opinion on a thousand year old legend)
• (In a bad way)
• Anyway
• The pure chaotic comedy of the knights finding Arthur and Genny freaking out is not something I can articulate but I adored so much
• Phillipa Soo is stealing the whole show in this one
• Does Genny come out of her hiding spot with her mouth wide open before she gets on the ground or am I misremembering?
• "We call that a sin of omission your majesty"
• With no remose "oh we call it that too"
• "Were you never going to tell me?"/"No I was going to get to it"/"When?"/"After I told you about the weather"
• Not a single bit of remose again
• I don't have anything to say, I just think the exchange is very funny
• I love not making Arthur any kind of royalty, he is truly just some guy
• Like I'm reading The Once and Future King and Arthur's lineage is so weirdly complicated and I just don't care, I like him as some guy
• "He discovered he didn't have his sword because I left it at... a house, that doesn't matter, that's my fault"
• Now that's a line that is funny on time one and fills you with dread afterwards
• The most exasperated "I was just going to borrow it for the day"
• Something about the delivery of "when I opened my eyes the square was filled with people shouting god save the king"
• Like Arthur never actually says out loud that he didn't want to be king but Genny gets it right away
• "I see you now, you're just a boy wearing a crown you never wanted sitting atop a throne two sizes too big"
• Just an absolute cutting response but Arthur doesn't take it that way at all, he's so earnest
• She reads him to filth but it doesn't even rattle him, he just takes it because it's true
• Gorgeous writing in what she says and his response
• "But provenance has put us both here, both of us highness and want it or not we are commanded to wear that crown and to grow into that throne"
• Chills, the delivery is outstanding
• We finally get King Arthur
• And Genny being convinced, all it took was one genuine moment and she's ready to engage
• Then Arthur again just taking so passionately about what he wants Camelot to be
• No wink, no sarcasm, no shame
• This show is unabashedly sincere and optimistic and I love it
• Genny falls in love with Arthur, I fall in love with Arthur, Genny falls in love with Camelot the idea, I fall in love with Camelot the show
• Everyone including the audience and Arthur were already in love with Genny for Phillipa Soo reasons so there's no moment for that one
• I feel like the trope-y thing would be to have Genny be a cynic here but no, she's just as much of an idealist as him
• She put up a little front of cynicism at the beginning but as soon as she gets the option of hope, she's choosing it instantly
• "Or you can stay. And together we may discover if power might be harnessed as a force of good"
• Like he's instantly treating her as a partner in this endeavor
• And I Wonder What the King is Doing Tonight playing under it so beautifully and then the seamless musical transition back to Camelot is so perfect
• I am music stupid so I wish I had something to say about it but your songs have got to be tight to flow that way
• "I don't know if I'm worthy" also just a heartbreaker
• We don't really get to hear anything about Genny's life in France but she's clearly very opinionated and competent and I wonder if besides the whole wanting romance and adventure thing
• She also had an idea of what the life of a queen is like
• After all she's the daughter of one
• And she didn't imagine having this kind of role in actual ruling and doesn't know whether she can live up to this ideal that Arthur has set
• Like maybe she thought the only way she'd get to impact the world was knights killing each other over her or being the cause of a war, at least that's something
• But now she has a chance at more and she's grabbing it
• Genny singing the reprise is so beautiful thematically - it makes me a little teary just watching her instantly be like I see your dream and understand it and I want to be part of it but via some of the best singing maybe ever
• Such an amazing recontextualization from the original
• I've seen little clips of this reprise from 1961 and this one just feels warmer and more meaningful because it's about the ideals and not them confessing love at first sight
• And somehow more romantic
• They're instantly established as a team who share intellectual and philosophical similarities
• To so quickly convey that and make it believable
• It not only cements their relationship but makes them characters you root for
• And then the sounds of people coming in as soon as or maybe even before they get to finish singing together, like it's their world and they're falling for each other but there's no time, they're king and queen now and that will always supercede their relationship
• Also something about the moment when Arthur introduces her to the court just also really gets me
• "She's nice... some of the time"
• It's cute how smitten he is with her, all of her, immediately
• "Something about her makes me want to be a better king" (so Arthur is actually capable of expressing a romantic thought, don't get used it it)/"She's very attractive"/"Oh she is but it's not that"/"Arthur"/"Well it's not just that"
• I love the way they flip the speech Arthur gives Genny from the original about not feeling like a king until now meeting her
• But now that they've actually gotten to know each other a bit and it's after she's agreed to stay it actually makes sense here
• I do also love that even though he can't manage it to Genny's face, he does feel completely comfortable expressing his feelings about her to Merlyn
• The "oh she is" is so cute, he's so excited
• The music under his conversation with Merlyn before he starts just monologuing, very ominous
• I'm obsessed with it
• "We finally have peace" is another line delivery that I just need to sit and think about
• The joy of it, the relief
• Again the idea that Arthur has been a king at war this whole time
• Merlyn mentions, as part of a joke but still, almost as soon as we meet Arthur that he's fought armies
• He's not optimistic about the world because he hasn't seen conflict
• He's more determined because he sees what it does
• Channeling best man in all fiction Waymond Wang this is how I fight energy and that's very my shit
• Very much my shit might be a slight understatement
• It might not be surprising to learn that Arthur is my favorite thing about this show, they revamped this character so well
• So much of my life was spent in the media age of male anti-heroes and I love that we've returned to a point of male heroes
• Arthur idealistically talking about how they can finally start making Camelot for everyone and Merlyn walking off stage while the ensemble sings I think the part from the cut song and I assume some new stuff that's very Medieval church music
• So so good
• "What do I do next?" so eager and then just the emotional drop-off to his scared little boy when it becomes clear what's happening "Merlyn?"
• Stunning performance
• I think Arthur falls to his knees at some point but I'm already doubting
• The "what the hell do I do now?"
• Perfect scene ender
Act 1, Scene 2: The King's study - one month later
• The transition music between scenes is always good
• It's gonna be a struggle not to just quote this whole scene
• "Arthur, please call me Arthur" is so desperate like he has no one now, no actual human connections to him as a person instead of a king now that Merlyn is gone
• And then asking what she was called back home, he wants connection so badly
• And probably he still feels guilty for taking her from her home to be his wife
• "I was a royal princess, I didn't have friends"
• Well there is a reason they're both terrible at relationships
• I also love the way Phillipa Soo says Arthur in such a stilted way at the beginning of this scene and it becoming more natural every time she does it
• Genny telling him he's not attending to his duties with enthusiasm like she is not the least bit afraid to challenge the king a month in
• Love to see it
• Arthur's "I beg your pardon" when she asks about cortesans and the look he gives her
• "My father kept his women, his extra women, in their own wing of the palace. Where are yours? Might they cheer you up?"
• Genny the proactive problem solver
• Also something about the way she says extra women makes me laugh
• "I don't have extra women, I'm a married man. You were at my wedding" perhaps one of my favorite deliveries and lines in the whole show
• Genny's point of view in this scene is very interesting
• Like she does bring up that it's his legal right instead of dropping the whole thing and that's a choice
• Does she think he's lying about not having cortesans and reminding him that she is legally obligated to be cool with it so to be honest?
• Or is she just baffled by Arthur and his choices because this is a normal thing for a king to her?
• Or maybe since she already has feelings, she's trying to balance her own expectations to not get hurt?
• Possibilities
• "I'm aware of my legal right in that regard and I assure you I have no intention - oh my god - no intention of exercising it"
• Specifically the delivery of oh my god but the whole thing, he is so offended
• "And making the world into Camelot, are you abstaining from that too or will men at honor continue to plunder villages and take, rape, and kill whatever they please?"
• Genny
• Genny you are a hero
• She's so smart and fierce and unafraid to stand up to Arthur
• "I didn't make the world"/"You make a part of it"
• Arthur being so defensive and Genny calmly holding her ground
• She's taken to her new role so well
• And then Arthur admitting he doesn't know how to proceed without Merlyn, I love the way he builds trust in her in this scene
• "What would he say?"/"He'd say my god you're the slowest student anyone's ever tried to teach"/"Well I can convincingly say that"/"It's good that you mock me, kings should be mocked from time to time, it brings people pleasure. But for the record it's no fun for the king"
• Genny sounding so pleased with herself, Arthur getting out another sarcastic response
• Also what a lie, it is fun for him
• Mocking each other and public policy are their love languages
• "He once explained why but I got distracted because a white tailed eagle flew right by" with the most excitement and boyishness
• And then starting to go off on a tangent about eagles
• Never change Arthur
• I just think it's sweet the way she redirects him because she's fully committed herself to the idea of Camelot and her role in it
• "Pace freely at your own pace"
• Another brilliant line and delivery
• Channeling some Mary Poppins here
• Genny getting Arthur to think is so good
• "You had to pace and comcentrate to arrive at that?"/"It's hard to imagine why your country was willing to part with you"
• The proposition/resolved structure of this scene is very good
• And also that he starts with this pessimistic tantrum about human nature and Genny guides him back on track
• It's a great relationship moment but it also lets Arthur have some struggle and lets Genny be for Arthur what he was for her in the first scene
• Arthur collapsing on the floor and muttering "extra women" like wow he cannot handle being thought of as not a good person
• "That's it?"/"Wait"/"I wasn't going anywhere"
• Her being on the floor with him, gently pushing him
• He can't even maintain cynicism for more than a few minutes
• Them building the idea of the round table together, this is peak romance
• I can't just quote this scene in its entirety but every moment of it is a delight of them passing ideas back and forth
• "Isn't it also about the law?"/"It is"
• A standout delivery
• I love when they're working out the wordings like they make each other better
• "The law will be the stone upon which this rock - the rock upon - wait the church?"/"Have mercy"/"The law will be the rock upon which this church is built"/"Nothing can be more important"/"Nothing can be as important"
• This is what I love about Sorkin's writing
• The way that he has characters discuss ideas
• Like everything is an exciting discovery
• There's no singing in this scene but it has so much rhythm and is so compelling when in another writer's hands it would be boring and forgettable
• I broke out a chunk but it's so dense there are so many words and I love each one
• Genny counting down to his return, she already knows him so well
• Again I am trying not to type out every line
• I think they both yell for the page but I'm actually not sure, either way they are so excited and yelling something
• The new book has done so much to deepen their relationship, I adore these idealistic little nerds
• Arthur cannot contain himself
• His attempt to cool things down for himself by taking his hands off her face and then "you were very helpful, thank you"
• Smooth
• Convincing
• Definitely professional and platonic
• Truly do not know how Genny does not realize he's in love with her at this point but she sure is not gonna get better at that
• "And I suppose France too"/"I know that hurt"/"A little bit" and then he laughs it's adorable
• They're both so giddy here
• "Arthur I did already know that about you, that you were a decent fellow"/"I'm glad"
• They're in love. They are so in love.
• Arthur has taken on Genny's tone for the word inspiration when he talks to the knights
• "You've invited the French" every time Sagramore says it, it's just as funny
• "We may not be born equal"/"We are not sire" (with so much contempt)/"So our laws will make us equal" (with no room for disagreement)
• The immediate conflict
• And we see Arthur being a king and taking a hard line which we don't get to see much in this show and I love it
• "What about God's laws?"/"Not. Our. Jurisdiction" like are we sure this is not actually from the west wing
• I'm internally cheering when I hear it, I love this line far too much
• It's funny but also authoritative and kingly
• I get that some people do not vibe with Sorkin's style and that's fine but I very much do
• This show is so for me it's kind of incredible it was not made with that purpose
• A Sorkin character who would love Sorkin's work, I just adore it
• And according to the funniest line from any review I read, also has Sorkin's haircut
• That just lives in my brain because it's funnier than any piece of media criticism I will ever hear
• The knights already dissenting is very good but also that they don't fully agree yet with each other
• They build it in immediately and that's such a good choice, it makes every escalation feel totally plausible instead of the knights just easily falling for Mordred's bullshit
• Dinadan quoting Plato's ideas and saying how they're the well-educated people who should be in charge is great
• I love that the knights get to be characters and have thoughts
• Their constant vacillating between loyalty to the king and loyalty to the power structure they benefit from
• One of my favorite running tensions
Act 1, Scene 3: The countryside outside of Camelot - six months later
• The performance of C'est Moi is so funny
• Going 100% immediately
• Jordan Donica was just as perfectly cast as everyone else
• The lyrics are so funny and then he is just so loud
• His little whispered "C'est Moi" after the second verse while posing is so much funnier than it is on the cast recording
• "Had I been made the partner of Eve/we'd be in Eden still" is my favorite lyric
• The scream on clean destroys me
• Lance is always at a 10 and he's so delusional, I'm obsessed with him
• There's so much loud breathing in this performance which I love
• And whirling his sword around the stage
• "Beware enemies of Arthur do you hear me beware, from this moment you answer to me" while Arthur is literally unconscious behind him, this is comedy
• "You raised your sword to me"/"Oh I was saying hello"/"I did not know that"
• Lance is not sorry at all and it's hilarious
• He's just on another planet compared to everyone else and I love it
• Also Arthur so pure, just seeing a random person and trying to say hi
• Like you're the king of the country, you do know many people are not exactly going to be friendly, right?
• "I honestly thought I was more recognizable to the French"
• "Have you changed your Francs to English shillings?"/"Why?"/"This man's face is on money"
• Arthur subtly trying to tell Lance what's happening but the word subtle is not in Lance's vocabulary
• "I'm underwhelming in person"
• Says the man that keeps making French people instantly fall in love with him in the woods
• "My security detail... right in the nick of time"
• "I beg your majesty to forgive for me for by forgiving me I'll suffer even more"
• Lance is screaming the whole time
• I don't know how he does it
• "But my strength comes from purity of spirit"/"What was that?"/"Purity of spirit, my personal relationship with the almighty, he favors me"/"I'd keep that to yourself"
• I can't write it out but this
• And this is about to have to switch out for the rest of the show so like even more screaming somehow
• He's so funny, it isn't reasonable
• Also love that his language is the least modern of them
• It fits
• Seems like some of his lines come directly from the original book and it works amazingly
• "Be a faultless example to children" is another iconic delivery
• Also Lance asking for a mission, incredible
• He just plays everything so straight and it's perfect
• Like not a single acknowledgement of the ridiculousness of this character
• Arthur will literally get a concussion to avoid a social function, relatable
• "Until you came along and whacked me in my head"/"AND FOR THAT I BEG YOUR HARSHEST PUNISHMENT"/"Nope, nope, we're not going back to that"
• Yes the all caps is necessary, Lance is always speaking in caps, if he lived in a time a cell phones all of his texts would look like that
• And Arthur's tone when he responds
• When Lance starts singing again and then Arthur just says nope so many times
• This is their whole relationship
Act 1, Scene 4: A park near the castle
• This scene is just a magnificent Phillipa Soo showcase that we have been blessed with
• Like she is just so talented and I am blown away
• There's a reason Lusty Month of May is the song they have the most out there
• "The birds and the bees with all of their vast/amorous past/gaze at the human race aghast" is my favorite and she does it so perfectly
• Also the intro music just exactly captures that buzzy spring feeling
• My roommate and I both had the experience where the first time we saw the show, none of the music stuck with us
• And then the second time, all of the sudden it burrows into your brain
• This burrowed first because of course, it's so vibrant and lovely
• The original music is so good and somehow the transition from the more modern dialouge into the songs is seemless
• Genny has two missions: justice for all and bringing sex to England
• Look there's none in her own marriage and she needs an outlet, make those people kiss, it's all you have
• Genny's so fun and adorable in this song and it's perfect and I have no notes
• I'm just gonna go watch the today show performance and bask in it, this is the most classic Broadway musical sequence in the whole thing
• I love the idea that she's inviting all these normal people in and the beginning of the knights absolutely hating it
• "Be right quieter"
• And when they refer to Genny as a guest in the country
• The original is very and everyone loves her and I love that there's this tension where the people with power don't like her but everyone else does
• They say all the quiet parts out loud in this scene
• The show needs the knights so badly to show the discontent growing over time
• But they still respect tradition enough to enforce respect for the queen on Pellinore
• "I've only lived here a short time"/"Oh and you're already the queen, well done"/"I really had nothing to do with it"
• "Full of youth he was but brooding over problems that would confound Solomon. Ever met him your majesty?"/ "Constantly, he's my husband."
• With such affection ahhhh
• "You must be Morgan Le Fay... oh how he'd go on about the loveliness of Morgan Le Fey, her unsurpassing beautiful"
• Genny getting emotionally slapped in the face, it hurts so much
• The first crack in their relationship because they couldn't talk to each other...
• "I'm glad that nice young man found a nice young lady"
• Why does this make me feel things?
• I love the royal music every time
• "As you were everyone, pick grapes, eat flowers, or uh the other way around"
• Arthur and Genny's little catch up about Pelli is very cute, we don't get to see them be cute for a while after this so I just want to appreciate it
• Lance having no social awareness and continuing to make proclamations while Genny could not care less and is actively trying to speak to someone else, brilliant
• Genny and Arthur just waiting for Lance to stop talking after she keeps being interrupted and then Genny rushing out her lunch invitation and Arthur rushing out his response
• Arthur immediately wanting to run ideas by Genny, she is crucial to the development of Camelot and it's very much not a secret
• Arthur's "uh oh" when Lance is doing some casual misogyny
• "That sounded like a friendly exchange of pleasantries"/"It was not"
• No fucks for Genny today
• I wish I could one day know the translation of Genny and Lance's friendly exchange of pleasantries
• "Who would serve as the standard?"/"Oh certainly not me your majesty"/"See no hubris"/"My standards are much too high"/"Dammit Lance"
• "Have you achieved perfection milord?"/"Please say no"/"Of course I haven't your majesty"/"Good"/"Refining the soul is an endless struggle... but physical perfection"/"No"/"Yes"/"Go back to speaking French"
• "And in your quest for spiritual perfection have you considered the value of humility?"/"Ah something we should all consider. In fact let's take two minutes of silence to consider the value of humility."
• The dialouge between the three of them is so funny in this scene
• The ship is sinking and Arthur is just there with a tiny bucket while Lance and Genny keep creating giant new holes
• Genny calling Lance a jackass is both hilarious and also so valid
• "She already has an affectionate nickname for you"
• We have officially reached the beginning of the end, well we had some nice moments
• Like imagine if Pelli didn't start going on about how in love Arthur was with Morgan and then Arthur didn't show up with his new best friend who immediately implied women were too stupid to engage in government
• Genny was having a no fucks day and was probably ready to do a stupid thing and maybe that stupid thing was her husband
• A true tragedy
• "And with humility I"
• Dinadan's line deliveries are so dry and good
• And Genny's laugh
• "And whom will the three of you want to impress?"/"We want to impress the king too."/"Ah yes English men"
• I love the knights, they've all got their own little comedic touches in this song
• Gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss Genny
• Take Me to the Fair is a masterpiece
• I don't know what constitutes a hot take about this show because there are 5 people talking about it
• But my hot take is that as much as Lusty Month of May is a brilliant and amazing song
• This is actually the Phillipa Soo tour de force
• Her fake crying is so good
• There are so many good flourishes in the singing
• Same thing I feel about I Wonder What the King is Doing Tonight, Phillipa Soo is just enhancing every line with her hilarious delivery
• Also this sound
• Sagramore is always operating at 50% more intensity than the rest of the knights and it's perfect
• Him having to be held back by the other two when Genny sings to him
• It's involuntary at this point that I turn my head back at French during this verse
• His very loud delivery of "I swear to you the challenge will be met"
• "Sirrrr Liiiiionel"/"Ma'am"/"Ugh"
• And when she gives his chest a little slap after "and young du Lac"
• Perfect
• And her laugh-cry at the end of Lionel's part
• Their faces when she touches them are also just very confused and funny, she is not good at this
• I love when the knights are singing together, bringing up Lance really has wrapped them around her finger
Act 1, Scene 5: The King's study - the night before the tournament
• "You know that it's your move right?"/"I did not know that. I'll need to alter my strategy now"
• Honestly so relatable I suck at chess, Pelli is the best
• "If we're to care about justice, we need to care even more about injustice"
• Just a good little Sorkin nugget
• Pelli refusing to understand any of Arthur's ideas, excellent
• "Do I understand that you intend to be history's first king to yield power?"/"Oh now you're catching on"
• I do just love Arthur so much
• And the delivery of "she wrote what you just read"
• He's so pleased to inform Lance that Genny's writing treatises about justice
• Pelli's smug little "it's your move" like that's correct, no one is allowed to not respect women in Arthur's study
• "He's had you in checkmate for an hour and a half"
• Arthur's patience is astounding, Lance should be taking notes while he's perfecting his spirit
• "Would you like to play me or do you ever do anything but perfect your soul?"/"No I also perfect my body"
• Again just perfect deliveries and honestly so much respect to the new book for making Lance even more irritating but eventually more human too
• I am not dragging Lance, this is a compliment
• Just the way Jordan Donica plays it completely straight without being able to detect sarcasm is hilarious
• "The arrangement I'm in is called a marriage, having some fun would be called treason. And finally I hate his breathing guts."
• Setting up the consequences we know are coming with a little joke, I like it
• "Well be sure and give us clear skies tomorrow when you're arranging things with god tonight"
• Savage, I don't like most of the original dialouge but we had a winner with this one
• Her delivery just elevates it
• "No one could refuse your wish"
• The gall of Lance to say that like that in front of Arthur like he is shameless
• "Why do you have to bait the man?"/"I dislike him, I thought I was making that clear"
• Genny is so relatable
• Their first fight and Arthur's already insulting the French, I'm not sure why he thought this was going to go well
• Arthur trying to delicately ask Genny to withdraw her permission from Dinadan
• He's trying to have this conversation as her husband and not her king but Genny is not even having it a little
• Genny explaining that she already gave permission for all the knights is so funny
• I know they're basically the original lines but ya know, sometimes Lerner nailed it
• "It will seem to the entire court as if you are rooting for his downfall and championing his defeat."/"The only reason it will seem that way is because I'm rooting for his downfall and championing his defeat."
• "He's going to embarass those three. These are not men who take well to embarrassment."
• Like Arthur already knows exactly who his knights are
• He knows that they don't exactly match up to his ideals
• The delivery on "will you withdraw your permission" is also spot on like Arthur is ready to exit this conversation right now
• Also on "if I do will you forgive me"
• Like he knows that's not happening
• "Not as long as I live, no"
• Perfect riff on the original book's line
• Arthur doing some investigating on Genny hating Lance like he knows before she even does
• Ouch
• And then him starting to get frustrated when she's not answering like babies' first fight is not going well
• "Because he needs to be brought down to earth... literally not metaphorically"
• Like she has yet to be wrong
• "Merlyn never taught me how to handle a woman"/"You didn't read the book?"/"There's a book? No I can see from your face that there's not a book. Though maybe in France they would have published something, no I can still see on your face"
• We love a Genny dripping with sarcasm moment
• And Arthur being an idiot nerd
• He's so so stupid
• Another one of my truly favorite lines and deliveries, he is so excited that he completely forgets he's mad at her for a second and then pouting when he realizes
• "If the king wishes me to withdraw my permission, let him so command... nope, then I will bid you goodnight"
• The aggressiveness on her daring him to command her is so much
• Perfect
• I love her nope, a little power play
• Because she knows he won't and he knows he won't and she's happy to remind him of that they both know that and then leave
• His silence is doing so much work too
• Damn this scene is good
• "And before I go to bed as a gesture to Lancelot and to you, I'll pray it's over quickly"/It will be"
• They're so mad, I love it
• "There should be a book"
• Grumbling sullen Arthur is very funny even if How to Handle a Woman is lowkey the worst song
• And Arthur's worst impulse, which the narrative knows because it plays under him talking about vengeance and what he's entitled to later
• Like they do a good job recontextualizing it but it's still not the best
• Just hearing him sing the word threaten is kind of jarring, I cannot even slightly imagine this Arthur even thinking it once
• In my opinion they should've just cut it, I'd gladly take more Sorkin dialouge instead
• I do appreciate the way they scaled back this music in the rest of the show
• Because it's all over the second act of the movie, Arthur and Genny's theme if you will
• Like even during their last conversation
• Because they're not the love story so their theme isn't really a love song
• But then here, they play it under Arthur's worst impulses at the end of act 1 and banish it which is so smart
Act 1, Scene 6: A grandstand - the next day
• The music coming into this scene and when Arthur and Genny show up, again fantastic
• The outright hostility between the knights and Lance, they turned it so far up in this version
• Pushing him down and shit
• I love Athur and Genny showing up and getting to see them actually be king and queen and have their over-the-top outfits and crowns in this and the last act 1 scene because it's so removed from who they are the rest of time
• Arthur's speech at the beginning trying to glorify them not having the tournament and how great losing is and having to be stopped by Genny
• He's trying so hard and his speech is not good
• The fact that she basically tells him to stop and his response is fine like I think he forgets that he's actually in charge
• I love a sword fight
• The movement, the drama, the loud clanging...
• I am but a humble girl raised on the Pirates of the Carribean movies
• Dinadan being a dick before the fight with "and now for your lesson sir"
• The way Lance knocks the sword out of Dinadan's grip and makes him pick it up before defeating him, such an asshole move
• I truly can't tell if Lance has just such a superiority complex that he doesn't realize what parts of his own behavior are making people dislike him or he's just so stuck in his toxic little mindset that he doesn't care if people hate him for it
• I kind of feel like Lance is so into his specific notions of the world that even he doesn't really know why he acts the way he does
• "Dinadan seemed very inspired by your kerchief, should we continue?"
• "You know he almost had him, right up until the moment he never stood a chance"
• Their fight being played out by proxy while Arthur makes snide comments and they give each other looks is good shit
• Sagramore's scream, he's always going so hard
• The fact that Arthur fighting instead of Lionel is new for this
• Genius
• So good
• The dialouge around it is good too
• The temptation to just transcribe the whole thing is so strong
• Commanding Lance to pick back up his sword like damn
• I love seeing this new side of Arthur
• He can and will fight and he's good at it
• "I know what a damn baguette is"
• His little bit to Lance about it just being about morale is very good
• But also he can see what's going on even if Genny can't so is it?
• The fact that he may well have won the fight if it wasn't for a cool bird, what a man
• Fun fact about me, I didn't even see the bird or realize that's why he got distracted until the last time
• He and Genny are like very much not in a good place this moment but he will let it slide to point out a bird
• Arthur's fall is very good
• Can you tell I think this scene is also very good, I've only written it like twelve times
• The fact that they're letting people fight with swords and there isn't a doctor for 12 miles, amazing planning by everyone
• The bit of everyone thinking Arthur was dead and him sarcastically correcting them is amazing 100% of the time
• "He put life back into him" is just consistently hilarious
• "I'm not wanted here Arthur"
• With the most heartbreaking delivery
• Aw we finally see Lance have some shred of being an actual person
Act 1, Scene 7: The castle terrace - on the evening of the same day
• I Wonder What the King is Doing Tonight intro-ing into this scene
• "Well you got me there" being screamed is perfect
• Pelli sensing that something is bothering Arthur, their relationship is very sweet
• Pelli describing the way Genny and Lance were looking at each other, what a shit stirer
• "It may be the only way to get him to stay"/"Maybe it's best if you let him go"/"Let him go?"/"Maybe it's best"/"Why is that?"/"Well...You said yourself, morale"
• Like she's trying to protect them but she won't say it
• For obvious reasons
• But it's confirming what Arthur already suspects
• And just drawing them further apart
• Another great her silence is doing so much work moment
• The entire telling Lance he's being invested discussion is so intense
• So much anger simmering in Arthur that can't help but come out in the line deliveries in the beginning
• Genny refusing to engage and turning her back to the whole thing
• "I'm sure he'd like to hear it from another child of France"/"This is my country now"
• Oh boy I love this exchange
• Like she's trying, she's trying so hard
• And I don't know what the fuck Arthur is thinking with that one, in what way could she possibly respond that's not going to be bad for him?
• Arthur leaving them alone like whyyyy
• And then Arthur giving Genny back her bloody kerchief, fuck
• All is very much not forgiven here
• "God dammit Pelli, I wasn't dead"
• Genny making it clear she does not believe Arthur was dead, I appreciate that she's also very clear on the fact that their world is not magical
• I wonder if Lance does think he willed Arthur back to life
• Probably
• "Don't ever say it out loud. Neither of us can ever say it out loud"
• This was another straight up gasping in the theater moment
• The entire conversation between Genny and Lance is so good and tense
• And the delivery on that line just feels like getting punched in the gut
• Phillipa Soo is amazing
• I love that she won't let them say it, that she's fighting it
• And the way she cuts him off, the way she makes him agree to not say it
• This is the intense love she wanted and it doesn't need to be said which is exactly what she needed to feel from Arthur but didn't get
• Also Lance just trying to confess his feelings the first second he can is just such an interesting character choice
• Like the truth is his purity of the soul bluster doesn't hold up to the slightest temptation
• He's ready to betray Arthur the second he leaves the room
• It's all a front
• Not intentionally, like he believes the things he says he believes
• But he can't keep to it
• I think he's so drawn to Arthur because Arthur actually has the qualities he's proclaiming define him
• But I don't even think Lance knows any of this about himself
• At least not until later
• He's just impulsive
• Which is I think what makes him an interesting character to me but also makes his motivations hardest to decipher
• Before I Gaze at You Again is such a stunning song
• And watching Phillipa Soo just emote for the whole time
Act 1, Scene 8: The great hall - on that evening
• All the music that starts this scene is brilliant
• "I'll never disappoint you"/"I know"
• I just...
• Like we the audience know but also the characters sort of all know and they are determined not to let it happen but that only makes it happen anyway
• Ugh those lines are a little nothing but they're everything
• I have the YouTube clips of Richard Burton's version of this and it does just indicate how well they've modernized
• Theater has changed so much so the pacing of 1961 compared to this is kind of fascinating
• This is also actually the writing I think is the best from the original and it is so fascinating to compare the two versions which I'm sure someone has done and I want to read it because there is so much to say
• It's so bold to close act 1 with a speech instead of a song
• I had no context coming in so they had me in the first half, I wasn't sure if this was Arthur's turn into the villain moment
• Once again I'm just like pointing to the whole speech and yelling how good it is
• Whoever decided this belonged on the cast recording is my personal hero
• This is just on my normal spotify playlist and as long as I'm not reading, I will not skip it
• But I love the idea that in the original book Arthur starts out by declaring his love for Genny and Lance and in this version it's like he's actively talking to the audience to defend himself
• To say he's not some stupid optimistic kid, that he sees everything we have
• Comes out swinging
• I can't explain how much "proposition: I am not a befuddled king" shook me, I was ready for shit to go down and I love it as the opener to this
• The pause before "whom they love", the sadness in it
• "And she didn't choose whom she married"
• Like Arthur can never get rid of that guilt
• The push and pull of this entire thing where he will try to make an argument with himself that everything is fine but the bitterness keeps seeping in until there's no rationality left
• Trying not the write out the whole thing but the rhythm of it, the pacing, this performance is spectacular
• The way the audience startles when he starts screaming
• Like he's having his back and forth rational debate with himself and finally we see him lose that control
• And it is the good shit
• I can't explain how much I came in with no context for this show and how much this completely threw me in the best way
• We're finally a glimpse of what's happening inside Arthur's head, to see the way he's been holding so much back from everyone else
• I love that he's still yelling at Merlyn, not exactly sure what I want to read into that, I feel like there are a few lines of thought
• "Am I not entitled to a man's vengence?"
• Perhaps my favorite line in the first half
• Every line is sort of my favorite but I guess let's settle on this one
• Because the original is "I demand a man's vengence"
• And same sentiment but entitled is so much more toxic
• Like the thing about this magic-less universe is that Arthur wasn't destined for some greatness and so he pulled the sword from the stone
• He wasn't owed something, he didn't deserve it, it just happened and he chose to rise to the challenge
• And this is the first moment he's decided he might be entitled to anything
• And then he does a 180 into deserving nothing
• "Proposition: I'm not a man, I'm a king"
• Like wow so much to unpack psychologically there
• I mean he and Lance have very much the same problem of trying to suppress their own humanity but the reasons are so different
• When Arthur switches into his idealistic mode and they start playing I Wonder What the King is Doing Tonight because he's being kingly, literally gets me every time
• The entire thing is so good, I love the second half so much
• "I wasn't trained for this"
• I love the running theme of Merlyn training Arthur in all of these important skills but never teaching him how to handle emotions and relationships and uh maybe he should have
• There were perhaps some limits to Merlyn's wisdom that set Arthur up to fail
• Because he's been king since he was barely out of childhood
• He never got the chance to have normal, equal relationships where he could figure shit out
• So instead he just pushes it all down because he's not wrong in that he doesn't get the luxury of following his emotions
• I love every second of this scene
• I love every line, every delivery, every movement
• Like it is a hard ask to make an actor just walking around the stage monologuing compelling in a musical and this is so so compelling
• Just on the whole of this show, I don't know that I've ever been so blown away by a stage performance as I was watching Andrew Burnap and this scene is just a perfect encapsulation of why
• Whatever he's in next, I will go
• Okay real talk something about this man's face just renders it unrecognizable to my brain so more than likely I'll see something and be like wow that person was amazing, who was that and then it will turn out to be him
• I say specifically because I happened to be watching Under the Banner of Heaven the whole time I've been having a Camelot obsession and how did I find out he was in it? I happened to see his name in the end credits four episodes in...
• But anyway I will at least try to know whatever he's in next so I can go on purpose because this performance is living in my brain and I don't think it's leaving
• I do make fun of previous versions of this show for casting people who are clearly not musical theater actors in this role but actually I do think casting actors who do straight plays does add so much as long as they aren't terrible at singing
• All of which to say again that I do think this was some of the most perfect casting I have ever seen
• Basically the statements you can tell Andrew Burnap is not a musicals person and you can absolutely tell Phillipa Soo and Jordan Donica are absolutely musicals people
• Are both extreme compliments to the people that decided on this casting
#i was going to say time to be unhinged again#but Camelot has had me unhinged for a while#so time for me to somehow be more unhinged#unhinged 2: electric boogaloo#It's so funny because the week after I saw Camelot for the first time I saw something else atrocious with my friend#and as I was walking out of the theater complaining to my friend#I said it was funny how I had like 30 minutes worth of things to say about this show I hated#but nothing to say besides that I loved it about Camelot#well apparently accidentally seeing it three times closing week demolished the floodgates#there may to be some more audio clips added in to truly make this my 'remember what it felt like to see this show'#thing to look back on#I just needed to get the thoughts out my head and put them somewhere#or at least most of them#because I have so many#I think I actually have even more thoughts about the changes but a part of my brain is like well you'll never see the true original#so you can't have a true opinion#Camelot Musical#I don't know if this will end up in the tag#but like there's only five of us there so let's just call it keeping the tag alive#this is just part 2 of my extremely earnest love letter to this version of this show#thank you aaron sorkin#it's like 50% direct quotes and 25% filler words so maybe I can pretend it isn't actually that long#we're choosing to ignore this is only half#This Barbie can't shut up about Camelot
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actually you know what, one more follow up to the recent posts. i hope the googly-eyed stubby squid explodes this round. you can do whatever you want of course i literally can't stop you but i hope it gets vaporized
#GOOGLY-EYED STUBBY SQUID IS. NOT A SPECIES. I FUCKED IT UP#so this ONE SQUID. is SWEEPING.#i had such a hard time finding fun facts about them because everything just went back to THIS ONE SQUID#SCREAMS.#googly eyed stubby squid ONLY got in because i needed to pick one fish from the fish that got 1 nomination#and my bestie picked this guy#and i thought it was fine and it would get demolished fast#no hatred to my bestie for selecting funny squid. however. bro we could've had mariana snailfish#we could've had acorn worms. or the slender sole. or the predatory tunicate.#instead we have one silly lookin squid destroying everything#i refuse to stay silent about this. it wasn't supposed to get this far#and seeing people more passionate about this one single funny squid than my favorite fish has been killing me#deep sea fish tourney
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they should've never made ada a hacker (specifically with her intercepting luis' emails to his college friend & that one scene in damnation where she forces the elevator to svetlana's laboratory to open to help leon & sasha + herself escape the self destruction sequence she intentionally activated) because i've taken it now to mean (i watch way too many computer software review & repair videos) she will be annoying about her preferred linux distributions to anyone who will listen, fellow spies, hackers & whichever partner wakes up to ada typing away on her laptop in their living room looking like she hasn't slept the whole night
#* file // : OOC — ( 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑'𝐒 𝐂𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐀𝐃𝐄 . )#* file // : 004 — ( 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍 . )#i'm very sorry but any technical skill/proficiency with computers instantly makes you a little bit of a nerd#it's law#that's one of her many secretive hidden traits very few will fully realize because she has to keep her mystique & allure at the forefront#it's inciting & disarming because often people's perceptions of attractive women's intellect run opposite to their looks#& while being underestimated is workable it is as equally deadly depending on who sees her as lesser#it is not always empowering to demolish the preconceived notions forced onto you#especially for a woman like her#i've talked before about how useful her hacking ability is in the context of corporate espionage as a way to remove the need for a handler#or paying off others to do the research ada can very well do herself#but it is also a skillset that allows her to get employed under her various personas & aliases as a data analyst or a cybersecurity expert#(with faked credentials hosted on an unsuspecting previous employer's websites for however long her credibility needs to last)#to strike at the core of a corporation's private data#she's very talented#i like to think that during one of these assignments she ran into ethan winters sometime in the late 2000s#& it was just a random coincidence where she thought nothing of him beyond being a fellow systems engineer working in a gray office complex#only for him to become such a central figure in the BSAA's dulvey coverup her eyes perked up reading their internal documentation#thinking it all a little too funny#all this without even mentioning her later relationship with mia that me & les (terrorgone) have plotted out
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Toothless vs spamton
Others are in tags (like with yoshi and Link kwkwd)
1. Yes they have to fight, 2. Tell me who’s fighting who in the tags! (I’ll add the most ridiculous combos in a reblog)
#holy shit this is a tough one#childhood characters: yoshi link (Skyward Sword) and toothless#current one spamton#yoshi gets killed instantly by spamton OR spamton gets turned into an egg by that fucking yoshi#if its neo vs yoshi neo wins#NOW WITH LINK#Link would probably beat his ass with that master sword if its the regular spamton#But probably would help spamton get the neo suit after the 1st fight and then demolish Neo#the phone attack can be easily avoided by link with the master sword (see Demise and Grahim battle)#always the weak parts in tloz games are eyes so get that arrows through those motherfucking glasses#the whip can be used to disarm him like link did with koloktos#i dont think i need to explain more to know link wins#and toothless... well. see the gif ÑSNDÑSLD#TT.text#reblog#character analysis#KINDA
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Emergency: Help save my children's lives
Dear humanity,
I am Habib from Gaza. I am married and have four children: Menna, 12 years old, Adam, 10 years old (suffering from quadriplegia), Maria, 6 years old, and Ezz, one year old. Although they are young, they have survived previous wars, but this current war is the most difficult of all. This is a war of genocide, and the difficulty of the war lies in the inability to meet the needs of my son Adam, who needs special care.
Over the past ten months, we have been caught in the crossfire of the ongoing conflict in Gaza. Our once peaceful home in Khan Yunis has been reduced to rubble, and now we find ourselves displaced in Deir al-Balah, living in squalid conditions in a makeshift tent on the streets. The devastation not only deprived us of our physical shelter, but also destroyed my livelihood - the once thriving business that supported our family's well-being, is now in ruins. The daily struggle for survival is exacerbated by the scarcity of basic necessities such as clean water, adequate sanitation and basic medical supplies
Our home was the place where we found hope and safety, and where we made precious memories. Losing him was like losing years of our lives.
Not only that, they destroyed my source of livelihood, burned it, and demolished it with bulldozers, and today I am without a home and without a job. I was working in a store I owned that met the needs and expenses of my family
Living in tents is miserable. There is a lack of drinking water, hot sun rays, and strange insects that have terrified my children. What hurts me most is my young son Ezz, who I see growing up in an unclean environment and with no healthy food for him. I believe he has not received his right to life.
At this stage, my husband and I decided to go to you and create an account on the Go Fund Me website and ask you to help us in these difficult times until we get out of Gaza, from the land of war to the land of peace. All we need from you is to support us and help us to get out of the war, even if you cannot help. You should spread the word. This campaign is everywhere and among your friends. We thank you for your stance and support for us. Thank you, my friends
The amount that will be collected from this campaign :
We will spend it by paying the amount to coordinate entry through the Rafah land crossing, which connects Gaza to the State of Egypt, since, as I mentioned, they charge an adult $5,000, but depending on the pressures, crises, and waiting, the amount may reach $7,000 per person, and children $2,500 to $4,000.
We will also use it for the rest of the travel and safe transportation expenses to provide for all family members.
A picture of my children's life before the war
A video of my children's lives living the war
May God reward you with all the best and may God bless you
Best wishes with sincere gratitude,
Habib's family
My Instagram account link
My account vetted by:
@dlxxv-vetted-donations
(vetted)
@gazavetters , my number verified on the list is ( #187 )
#free gaza#free palestine#gaza#gaza strip#gofundme#palestine#palestinian genocide#people helping people#please donate#ask#send help#signal boost#boosting#save palestine#i stand with palestine#gazaunderattack#gaza genocide#donations#donate if you can#thanks anon!#support
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they are ignoring my big beautiful pathetic himbo wife and his cute little platypus tail that he has for some tank part reason im too dumb to understand why
#how can u laugh 😿 this is not a JOKE 😾⁉️⁉️⁉️#love the way starscream was smiling and entertained by demo's people pleasing and having to make himself frown#so he can make demo even more exasperated by his apathy#'it's funny when he nags cyclonus but he can stfu around me pls '#part of what makes armada starscream so cool is demo taking a lot of the more pathetic sides of his ppl pleasing#starscream's ppl pleasing is more for competitive career (power) reasons and fear#demo's tries to be but also he just wants megatron to like him and be nice to him pls :(#whereas megs actually likes starscream and wants him to succeed one day just not today lol#and starscream is like no wtf ure weird i just want ur position . gtfo#it's like the one worker the manager wants to make a new manager one day but the worker hates it there & just does whats needed then leaves#& trains new ppl by being like 'yea so the fuckass manager likes it like this so if u see him then do that shit but heres how i do it lol'#new ppl being mini cons who hes like that cool younger adult to wholl send ppl home instantly if theyre sick & is chilled but professional#meanwhile demo is the suck up tryhard who just needs to put the fries in the bag bro#he wants to be manager so bad but hes also annoying and dumb and megs just wants him to leave his office so he can pretend 2 work#cyclonus is the broke guy who just goofs off bcs if he gets fired then he gets fired but they havent yet bcs theyre understaffed#n he knows it too. he sleeps on the job if it slows down for 1 second. but hes an adrenalin junkie who can get distracted#demo wants meg to want his effin cookje so freaking bad... i love pathetic men#sideways secretly has 3 jobs total & 2 of them are at their competitors' who pay better so he dgaf abt this one#he never picks up shifts and doesnt care abt working less hours. hes hust here for the drama tbh#he clocks in wondering if demo will ever get that megadck hes been bitching abt#he clocks out a disappointed fujoshi#it's ok bcs karen hot rod who works at their competitors comes storming in with his kids & needs rizzed up#by either starscream or sideways bcs they fucked up his kids' orders on purpose after hr gave them a spiel abt their long list of allergies#demolisher#starscream#cyclonus#transformers#maccadam#tf armada#sideways
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girlfriend just left for the winter [long distance] so we sketch emotional support wyoming miku
#i saw one other#and didnt see someone I would run into at a grocery store#i needed a bitch I could see at the fuel pump demolishing a bag of bbq chips#she puts corn in her mashed potatoes and gets up early to shoo deer outta the yard that won't stop eating her trees
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after lots of reflection with my time off, i decided im not going to have a schedule when i post anymore. having a schedule makes this account feel more like a job rather than a hobby i enjoy. instead of posting every other day, im going to post whenever i want, that might be once a week, that might be every day of the week—
—i love posting on here, but i need to challenge my ocd before i start resenting what i do, therefore the schedule is demolished!! im sorry if this isn’t news u want to hear, but before u comment or send anything in my inbox remember i am a person just like you, i have needs and responsibilities too!! i want this to be a fun and safe space for me and that cant continue if i keep treating this like a job
ANYWHOOO!! im still in need of a break from my little situation, so ill be back after halloween ^.^ i love and cherish all of you so much for the endless support u continue to give me, ill keep putting out banger smaus and fics for u guys as thanks <3
(thank you sm for all the comments and messages/dms i’ve been getting on my hiatus, u have no idea how good it feels to see all that support MUAH MUAH MUAH)
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coming home
synopsis : you sleep over at katsuki’s place after a night out with your friends. it’s more convenient that way.
an. wrote something rq after seeing the epilogue chapter and pheeewieeeee,,my boyfriend..sigh my boyfriend oh my boyfriend ouggh
cw. nothin really, just a lil casual domesticity w katsu :3, katsuki is fine ASL, reader n katsuki shower together so nakedness they nakey, lmk if there's anything else !!
you’ve noticed katsuki looks very good when he’s the designated driver.
he looks so natural behind the wheel, arms slightly flexed and gripping the steering wheel. his face serene but slightly tensed in concentration, occasionally scoffing to himself whenever someone in front of him drives too slow or cuts him off.
the lamp posts outside reflect nicely on his jaw, his nose and sharp eyes. his whole face really, you can’t stop sneaking glances at him.
he takes the opportunity to place his hand on your thigh once you get to a stop light, giving it a light squeeze. it feels heavy, relaxed, like your thigh just conveniently happens to be there for him to use as an armrest.
another squeeze and katsuki speaks, eyes never leaving the road, the stop light shines the same color as them.
“what’re ya peekin’ at me for, huh ?”
you’ve clearly not been sneaky enough, but you hum anyway. “whaddya mean ?” you ask innocently, your boyfriend scoffs.
a pinch to your thigh and he laughs when you whine. “know you’re not dumb, so quiet actin’ like you are. you got somethin’ on your mind, say it.”
you pout at him, he catches it when he glances at you briefly and smirks, katsuki pats your thigh.
“i was jus’ lookin at you, you look nice.”
he hums at that, smirk growing wider, he nods lightly “nice, huh ?”
“mhm,” you nod “really nice..” you clarify, making a point to look him up and down. he snorts, but his grip on your thigh does a bad job at making him look unbothered.
“know you’re obsessed with me, but you could at least try to act like you’re not.” he teases, hands going back to the steering wheel when the lights on his face shine green. the slight furrow in his brows immediately returns when the car in front of him doesn’t immediately pick up the pace. his fingers drum against the wheel impatiently.
“you got somewhere you need to be or something ?” you giggle.
“yeah, home. in bed.” he quips, always as easily irritable when he was sleepy and not to mention just a bit tipsy. kaminari had managed to get him to drink a little bit more than he usually would but the electric blond got too drunk to notice you’re boyfriend babysitting his drink the entire night. he always insisted on being the driver when it came to his precious baby.
you know he’s never liked to drink much, but you also think katsuki doesn’t so as to not demolish his so called 'reputation'. you and a handful of friends know how needy and emotional he gets when he gets drunk. he acts like everyone is after him when he’s reminded of the fact.
when things had started to die down and everyone slowly but surely started heading home, katsuki leant in near you to ask if you were ready to head out. he was the one that insisted on picking you up from your place since you were on the way to the restaurant, it was more convenient that way he'd said.
but suddenly, he’d suggested you just sleep over at his house for the night. his was closer if he took a shortcut, and it was already getting late. besides, you had left plenty of your stuff at his house. it was just “less of a pain” that way, he’d claimed, and you agreed.
katsuki places his arms behinds your chair to carefully back up into a parking spot. a lucky find, since it was so late at night. but that was hardly something you could focus on when he leant in so close, jaw tight in concentration. he smells just a bit like alcohol mixed with his usual scent.
you’d been together for years now, and yet this still makes your heart hammer, you’d blame it on the slight buzz of alcohol in your system if it wasn’t for the fact that this has always been how you’d reacted before—from the day he’d gotten his license and took you for a test drive to show off.
as the car slows to stop and the engine dies down with a low growl, katsuki turns on the lights and sighs, plopping down onto his seat with a groan, you have to laugh at how he acts like he’d just driven through a desert. he runs a hand through his hair and you notice katsuki looks extremely good when he’s the designated driver.
conveniently, you still have some sleepwear laying around at his house, neatly folded would be a better way to say it, katsuki was always a clean freak, not that it mattered much though since you knew you could just grab one of his shirts and call it a day and he wouldn’t mind at all. you think it shouldn't feel so natural to fish out a pair of your clothes from the drawer, like you'd been living here your entire life.
conveniently, katsuki has a spare toothbrush. he denies that he’d gotten it for you and tries to convince you that his specific toothbrush was sold in a pack of two and he was planning on keeping it for himself.
right, of course.
katsuki’s apartment has always had a cozy feel to you. probably because it was his and not just any old apartment. he just had this warmth to him that made it a home, one you could see yourself sharing with him. it’d be simple, natural. like breathing just to be with him.
you don’t particularly enjoy smelling like alcohol and outside, so you’re happy to sneak off to get to the bathroom first while your boyfriend gets himself a glass of water. until he catches you, of course. he almost chokes with how fast he zooms towards you, quickly wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.
“the fuck you think yer doin’ ?”
“katsuki, m’stinky and gross.”
“m’not gonna let you hog the bathroom in my house, get your own.” he stalks closer to you. he’s grown a lot since high school—in height, muscle, confidence and the list could go on, you stand your ground.
“you’re the one who brought me here, mister.” you shove an accusatory finger into his firm chest. he doesn’t budge, but he scowls down at your finger like you’d shot him and digs his finger into your side before you can stop him. you’re ready to cuss him out and fight if you have to, but to your surprise he sighs. looking off to the side.
“fine, we’ll just both go then.” he huffs, ears slightly tinted pink in the light of his living room.
oh.
“w—oh.” you breathe, immediately his eyes zip to you. his eyebrows furrow harder and his lip pulls up to hide the embarrassment growing on his face. “what ? s’that a problem or something ?”
“no, no !” you try to tone down the surprise in your voice, leaning against the wall to try and act casual. “i mean, no it’s not but—like, are you sure ?” and you feel like you’re sixteen again asking him if it was okay to kiss him.
“it’s more convenient that way. uses up less hot water so, it works out for me.”
“ah, right. bills.” you try to jest, managing to only huff awkwardly. your eyes flit to him and the floor and he scoffs after a minute. slowly, gently, he grabs your wrist. slowly, gently going towards your hand and intertwining his fingers with yours.
“stop being dumb and weird.” he scolds, before pulling you inside the bathroom with him.
you realise, really realise, with your back against his chest, how warm your boyfriend is.
he's always run hot and it came in especially handy during the harsher winter months. but now it's not cold, it can't possibly be when it feels like he's damn near running a fever behind you.
hot water be damned, he'd be able to heat up an ice cold bath all by himself you think. perhaps he'd always been this scorching, but it's the extra proximity that's making you realise it.
despite scolding you earlier for making it weird, katsuki is incredibly stiff. he'd been stiff when he swiftly turned around the moment he decide the water was an alright temperature, mumbling something about telling him when you got in. he'd kept his eyes aimed diligently at the ceiling of his bathroom and almost slipped when he tried to reach for the corner of his bathtub. you tried to spare him the embarrassment of giggling at his mumbled, butt naked cursing.
he'd scooched in behind you and it took him about a minute to let himself relax enough to let your skin touch. despite it being more convenient for him like he'd claimed, his hands stayed glued to the edge of the bathtub. the grip he has seems a little much, you can see his knuckles almost turning white, but his arms strain and bulge that way and you won't say that's not nice to look at.
you decide to make the move. you sigh, feigning relaxation despite your heart pounding, only intensifying when katsuki holds his breath for a second behind you. you make yourself more comfortable, leaning against him more and woah, he's scalding. you almost want to pull back, but you feel yourself leaning a bit further as you realise he's moved back too. his back now touching the edge of the tub. he hisses when the undoubtebly cold edge hits his skin.
slowly, slowly, the grip on the tub relaxes, and he lets himself dip around. fingertips slowly floating around in the water until they came to run up your arms. your shoulders, and he sighs then, really sighs like he's comfortable. and then all is good in the world again.
he's somewhat used to it now, and it's normal, almost second nature how he leans his head forward to land in the crook of your shoulder. he nuzzles into it more when you lean to the side to give him more space. he shoves his head in deeper, nudging his head to yours harder because he knows the tips of his hair tickle. and of course, ever the nuiscance, does it again and again until it has you giggling softly in the quiet of his bathroom.
and you think you could honestly get used to it.
"'ve been thinkin'.." you hear him mumble against your skin. you let out a hum when he doesn't continue. "'bout what ?" you ask sleepily.
"..bout you moving in, with me." he pauses, you pause. and it's quiet. again.
"o-oh yeah ? where did that come from ?" you try to keep your voice as steady as possible. your heart races and you feel it so hard you think it ripples in the water. you feel katsuki lift his head up lightly in confusion, but his eyes still won't move towards you.
"ya had something else planned 'r somethin' ?"
"no, no ! i'd wanna, i'm super down !" you're a bit louder than you mean to be, voice a bit breathier and higher in pitch and it echoes against the walls of the bathroom. katsuki's fingers twitch where they rest on the edge of the bathtub again and he sighs.
"i just didn't expect you to um-pop the question.." you trail off, you immediately mentally smack yourself for the wordage you used, because now you can't stop thinking about marrying him. you wished you could sink further into the water but now you're a little too aware of the hot skin pressed behind you.
katsuki doesn't look at you, he leans back until he's staring at the ceiling. you can tell he's trying to make himself more comfortable with the way he stiffens in an effort not to move like he usually would when he'd pretend to be unbothered. it tells you that maybe, just maybe, he was thinking about the same thing as you.
he sighs, and he finally looks at you then. voice poised and calm, but his eyebrows furrow and there's a slight pink on his cheeks.
"just..more convenient that way. you're already here all the time anyway." his rough voice cracks just slightly, the hints of doubt peeking through him. after letting out a breath you didn't know you were holding, you hum again.
"y-yeah--yeah.." you manage. katsuki clicks his tongue behind you.
"look, if you don't wanna-" your boyfriend gulps back his next words when you lean back against him once more. stiffening, before finally calming down again.
"i do, i wanna move in with you. truly." you lean your head back enough to comfortably look at him so he can see how serious you are. it seems to stun him a bit, eyes widened. his lips tremble like he wants to speak but can't. and since he can't, he composes himself (tries to at least) and nods, mostly to himself rather than you.
"good..good.." he mutters. you nod as well, turning back and closing your eyes to try and calm your beating heart, to fully relax.
"mhm, good."
and it's quiet again. only the sound of soft breaths and beating hearts remain. you can almost feel his heartbeat pressed against your back.
"how long have you been thinking about it--me moving in and all ?"
he hums from behind you, now that he's calmed down, his shoulders relax and he gets just a bit bolder, rubbing a thumb against the skin of your upper arm.
"does it matter ?"
"yes."
he grumbles, obviously embarrassed. " a while." is what he settles with "figured it was about time."
about time, huh ? you nod, the room overtaken by silence yet again. a comfortable, warm one you could get used to.
"'sides, i know how much you miss me when you leave."
you scoff, rolling your eyes. he's ruined the moment like his big mouth usually does.
"oh please, you're the one that keeps calling me back the moment i do leave." you shoot back, it's katsuki's turn to scoff now.
" yeah, sure. just admit you're obsessed with me, babe." he sasses.
"oh, babe you forgot your sweater at my place so come back and get it. what? no, i can't bring it back you forgot it so you come get iiit !" you put on a nasally deep voice, waving your arms around in the water dramatically.
"s-shut up, moron !" katsuki stutters, his abrupt movements of disbelief causing the water to ripple and spill over from the tub. "i don't sound like that--"
"oh babe, now that you're here i actually just remembered you forgot to gimme my 5th goodbye kiss on the way out--"
"yn.." he warns lowly.
oh yn, if i could, i'd spent my entire life makin' out with you cus i wuv you sooo much, bleh bleh muah muah-- !" your crude little kissy noises are interrupted by your boyfriend furiously flicking water into your face. you squeal loudly, shrieking trying to block the jet stream with your arms. you laugh loudly as he continues attacking you from all sides and you're sure by now half of the water he's used was most definitely on the floor, but you really couldn't care less.
and frankly, you could get used to this.
taglist.
@napbatata @andysdrafts @queenpiranhadon @jastoo46 @cecelia77
@katszumi @m-inluv @monchurie @the-hangry-otter @starlostlaiba
@moonshuul @erenstitanweave @katsus-mistress @dondeh-zedonutqueen @liluvtojineteyam
@aspiringwriter1111 @sugurusmoon @redvelvetstan1
@niktwazny303 @nemisimp @kit-katsukii @alphasage @milktea-academia
#m lil rusty yall sorries :>#proofread but there are most def still mistakes if i know myself so will fix later lol !#bakugou katsuki x reader#katsuki bakugou x reader#bakugo fluff#bakugou imagine#bakugou x reader#katsuki x reader#katsuki bakugo x reader#cash cant hold back when katsuki is involved#yall i tried but hes TEW FUCKIN FINE.#bakugou katsuki#katsuki fluff#bakugo katsuki x reader#katsuki x y/n#katsuki x you#katsuki bakugo x female reader#katsuki bakugo x you#katsuki bakugo x y/n#bakugo x you#katsuki bakugou x female reader#bakugo x y/n#bakugo x female reader#katsuki bakugou x you#bakugou x fem!reader#bakugou x you#bakugou x y/n
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YAKUZA!TOJI X MILF!READER —aka toji on some joe goldberg bullshit
🎞️ 𝐒𝟏 𝐄𝟐:
⟢ rating: mdni 18+ stalking, yuji is yakuza!sukuna x reader child, toji is still delulu af, size-kink, milf kink, breeding kink, voyeurism, dilf!toji, dissociative sexual fantasies, sukuna is an asshole, masturbation, killing fantasies, obsessive tendencies, heavy manipulation, brooding, yandere fluff, cute kid megumi.
⟢ episode run time: 𝟖.𝟕𝐤 ⟢ episode list: m.list ⟢ subscriber access: please comment on m.list to be tagged, rather than individual episodes as its easier for me to track. ⟢ director's note: e2 is here!! sorry for the initial issues! i hope you guys enjoy as we go deeper into toji's delulu, it's so much fun writing from his perspective. i feel like with each epi he only gets worse, hfsvsdjkfhvbsdj. he's still daddy tho.
The sky has since fallen completely dark, but the city lights of Tokyo still twinkle brightly in the distance, drowning out any stars. The light pollution still appears beautiful though, as a comforting beacon of civilization in the surrounding darkness.
The atmosphere, which had previously been so violently vibrant, has now quieted to a muted calm as the world slows down, whipping cool night air around Toji’s tense frame on his balcony.
However, it does fuck all to soothe the seared edges of his temper.
Nor does the serene scene do anything to calm the heated exchange still taking place inside your condo.
Your domestic dispute with Sukuna fiercely rages on.
Toji savors the last few puffs of his cigarette before discarding it and quickly lighting another. Chain smoking is his last salvation, lest the persistent urge to protect you completely overtakes him and causes him to act rashly.
The current state of the organization had suspicions at an all-time high. Toji couldn’t afford that considering who he was dealing with and what all could come in between the two of you should he err from the plan.
Closing his eyes, Toji manages to regain control by doing the one thing that never failed to pacify him—thinking of you, of course.
Both the sweet poison and the bitter antidote to Toji, you do nothing but constantly plague his psyche.
But perhaps it’s that he knows you need him as much as he realizes he needs you.
Over the course of time he had watched you, it didn’t take long for Toji to conclude that you only chose to remain with Sukuna for the security he provided. Preservation and the obligations of motherhood were the only logical motivations you could have.
It was glaringly apparent that Sukuna didn’t love you.
Even a blind man could see the truth of it.
Sukuna only visited you on rare occasions, when yakuza business took him beyond the central city limits, as Toji’s own surveillance and connections had revealed.
And whenever he did show up, it usually led to arguments between the two of you. If you had indeed loved Sukuna at one point you weren’t foolish enough to hold onto any of those illusions now.
Moreover, the subject of illusions—Toji had been privy to having many fantasies of you.
Weathering away at the stone around his heart he strived his whole life to build—only to then rebuild once again after his late wife—addictingly sweet visions of you so swiftly demolish the walls he set in place.
Toji allowed himself many hopeful images of what life could be like with you.
A life of ease.
That said, it would never be too easy.
Toji is still a yakuza himself and he knew the organization would never let him walk away entirely.
Nevertheless, his role was somewhat unique—an executive assassin was almost unheard of. Toji took on as many kills as he did as a way to numb and distract himself, not because it was required of him or he couldn’t pass it off to another. And ever since he’d laid eyes on you he had no desire to busy himself with anything other than you.
Toji takes pleasure in knowing he wouldn’t ever have to be away from you for long too.
As it happens, he already owns a spacious five-bedroom home just outside Tokyo in Chiba—the previous home he had hoped to share with his late wife. Toji had planned to surprise her with it once she left the hospital.
Yet instead of leaving the hospital with Megumi’s mother by his side, Toji had walked out alone. Numbed to the world, his hand had gripped the sleek black urn that had mockingly held her remains—along with his shattered hopes.
And as a result, no one had even crossed the threshold since the purchase was made.
But that would change though now that there would be the four of you to breathe life into the home.
Who else could give you that kind of life but Toji?
Certainly not Sukuna.
Toji would give you everything if you let him—but you weren’t an easy conquest, something he learned quickly as you prove it to him time and time again.
⟡
Toji recalls your second encounter with a sharpened clarity. It had taken him only two weeks to meticulously study your habits. The encounter had been carefully orchestrated, but despite his planning, the day hadn’t quite unfolded as Toji anticipated to say the least.
Parked down on the block of your typical walking path, Toji sat in his blacked-out Mercedes, keeping an eye on his rear-view mirror monitoring your approach. The mirror also showed Megumi, who was peacefully dozing in the backseat.
Heh, yeah he’d made damn sure to have the kid with him back then too.
Hardly older than 18 months and already a lady-killer, Megumi never failed to melt the heart of any woman who laid eyes upon his abundant chubby-cheeked cuteness.
Not like Toji had ever really needed to expend the effort before now. He knew just a mere look from him could get panties leaking, but you’d be harder to conquer than that.
Toji would enjoy taking his time, which if he thought about previously he would have deemed odd—he’d never been one to hold himself back or take his time with a woman.
Not anymore.
Not since her at least.
But the agony that had accompanied thoughts of his late wife had dulled considerably since he’d first started observing you.
A bonus of that being it no longer hurts as much to see Megumi—not when he would picture you rocking him in your arms.
Toji had even gone so far as to believe that she would have approved, that she would have liked you. He imagined she would have gladly chosen you to take care of both Megumi and him if she’d known you.
A familiar form appears in the rear-view mirror and Toji knows it’s game time.
Here you were, a reward for his diligence in tracking your habits, right on schedule.
Your features sparkled in the summer sun as you pushed Yuji along in his stroller, humming a tune while the child giggled along clapping.
The kid’s bubbly deposition had to come from you, Toji decided—surely none of it could have come from, nor been influenced by, Sukuna.
Toji wondered if you could even make a somber child like Megumi smile.
Biding in-wait until you passed, Toji snatched up Megumi and kept far enough distance so as to not alarm you of his presence.
His original plan had been to exit the car as you passed by and walk into the store together. But that all changed when Toji got the first glimpse of what you were wearing.
Toji would avoid being noticed by you, but your attire made it near impossible for him not to notice you.
The dress you wore was barely made modest enough to wear in public by the cardigan you draped over it. A less curvaceous woman could have likely pulled it off without turning a head.
However on your body, the way the thin loose fabric hung off your shape as it clung onto the moist areas of perspiration like a second skin—was fucking obscene.
Especially as despite your continued efforts, the crack of your ass kept gobbling up your sundress no matter how many times you subtly tried to yank it free.
Toji bet your ass could swallow his cock up just as well.
Damn.
Toji wished the walkup to the store was longer.
He’d never been one for prayer, but he would have started if whatever God deemed it fit right at that very moment to send an unanticipated gust of wind.
Your lack of panty line had his mind racing as to whether you wore a thong or were just slutty enough to be outside bare-assed in a short sundress mid-afternoon.
The green of your sundress matched his eyes too and Toji took it as another sign from the universe, he was on the right path by pursuing you like this.
You were doing this intentionally just to tease him, weren't you?
Hoping he’d see you like this and to tempt him into taking a peek, right?
Entering the grocery store, Megumi seated in-cart, Toji continued tailing you as you shopped.
True to the homemaker he previously confirmed you to be, you picked up mostly fresh produce, prime cuts of meat from the butcher, and some pantry baking items.
You were capable of more than just the frozen dinners he’d be more accustomed to if not for his Nanny’s cooking. She was a decent enough cook too—but she wasn’t you.
Nothing she cooked smelled a fraction as good as the mostly foreign, but appetizing, smells that wafted from under your door to fill the hall with warm spices.
The food you would make him, once Toji gets you settled in your new home, would definitely be much better.
You were truly perfect, well nearly so.
After tailing you down a few aisles, Toji suspects the one minor flaw you may have is you appeared to be the absentminded type.
How else could you be disregarding his overbearing presence as he continuously had put himself in your line of vision? Restlessness overtook Toji as he waited for you to look up and catch his eye, giving him a casual opening.
You had been too consumed with your phone to notice his attempts— which if he would guess, wouldn’t be successful anytime soon.
Grumbling, Toji had to take matters into his own hands if he wanted to shop with you at all.
Easy enough too, you were already so carelessly distracted.
Momentarily taking his eyes off you, Toji calculated how long it would take you to reach the end of the aisle. So as you moved from one aisle to the next, he casually nudged his cart into your path, creating a T-bone collision that made it look like you were at fault for leaving the aisle.
The bang was jolting enough to finally draw your attention.
“OH MY GOD! I WASN’T WATCHING WHERE I WAS GOING! I’M SO SORRY– I-I …Fushiguro?!”
Heh, took ya long enough to notice.
“Well, hey doll. Long time no see, ma.”
A flagrant lie.
Toji had seen you nearly everyday—you just hadn’t seen him.
He could tell you were flustered and embarrassed as multiple heads in the store had turned towards the two of you from the rattling collision.
You couldn’t apologize enough to Toji who was on cloud nine from your attention focused on him.
And as Toji had predicted, your attention was soon stolen by the black spikey haired baby boy seated in his cart.
“Oh wow Fushiguro!!—”
“—Toji, ma.”
A smirk bloomed across his features as you rolled your eyes at him, continuing your affections towards Megumi.
“—I remember you said you had a son but I didn’t know you had a little mini-me, he’s so adorable!”
Toji didn’t fail to notice the double—no triple, take you had given between himself and Megumi.
He also couldn't help but see how your big ass tiddies looked—like they wanted to bounce right outta that sundress and into his mouth—as you bent down to get a closer look at Megumi.
No bra too?
Oh, you’d surely be the death of him.
But Toji's cock wasn’t the only part of him swelling, his heart rate sped like crazy just from watching you fuss over Megumi so apologetically—much like a loving mom soothing her own child at the sight of him sniffling back tears.
For a moment, Yuji’s giggling drew Toji’s attention as the boisterous kid seemed to think it was some sort of ride. Needing no comfort at all, Yuji merrily squealed with laughter at the impact, continuing to stuff rice puff snacks into his little face.
The distraction kept Toji from warning you not to pick up Megumi and before he Toji knew what was happening— you scooped Megumi up. Settling Megumi into your arms, Toji noted you cradled him with the same joy radiating from you as you did Yuji—and much to Toji’s shock—Megumi let you.
It went without saying that Megumi wasn't the friendliest kid.
Toji suspected he had inherited that from him, along with his trademark scowl. The little terror was known to pitch a screaming fit if someone other than Toji or his nanny picked him up.
However, in your hold, Megumi appeared calm—angel-like even—as far as Toji was concerned.
More curious than upset, Megumi's tears dried at the corners of his eyes as he reached out to gently bop your nose with his tiny fist.
“Aye! Manners, kiddo.”
Toji chides Megumi, but inside he is amazed by the interaction.
Returning the gesture, you softly boop Megumi's nose with the pad of your finger, causing him to grab it in defiance, as you offered him softly whispered apologies for upsetting him.
This served to confirm in Toji’s mind the place you belonged in his life.
He couldn’t be wrong about you.
You were perfect.
Everything was aligning better than he could have hoped for.
“No harm done ma, Megumi can take a lick. Just like his daddy.”
You shook your head at Toji and gently rubbed soothing circles on Megumi’s back, cooing at him.
“Oh? So you’re growing up strong like your daddy, huh, Megumi?”
Megumi tilted his head slightly, his thumb resting gently in his mouth.
“Just don’t fool yourself into thinking you’re smooth like he does.”
You shot Toji a teasing smirk, immediately resulting in a half chub pressed against his suit pants.
Now you were… teasing him?
Oh, you had no fucking idea just how smooth Toji could be when he wanted. And Toji planned to put 3 more kids inside of you soon too, just as smoothly.
Those facts withstanding, Toji could tell his son hadn’t quite made up his mind about you yet. Megumi just blinked at you, but the fact that he wasn't screaming his head off was good enough for Toji.
“Don’t let the blank stare fool you, ma, he likes you. Trust, ya would know if he didn’t. Just takes him a while to warm up to most folks.”
You gave Toji another playful smile.
“Hmm, and wonder who he got that from?”
Primal urges surged in his veins as Toji wanted nothing more than to grab you in his arms at that moment, although Toji settled for countering with a smirk of his own.
“We’re not that bad ma—once you get to know us.”
Toji flashed a toothy grin at you, amused by the upward pull at the corners of your lips as you tried and failed, not to be entertained by him.
You gently set Megumi back down in the cart, smoothing down his onesie and safely buckling him in before turning back to Toji.
“I’m sure Megumi is a perfectly sweet kid, who just needs to come into his own a bit.”
“Eh? And whadda ‘bout me, mamas?”
“The jury is still out on you—Fushiguro.”
“—Toji,” he corrected once again—and again you responded by rolling your pretty eyes under those long thick lashes of yours.
Oh, Toji had just the thing for that ass since you liked to roll your eyes back that much.
Toji imagined how deeply they’d be lodged into your head once he stuffed you full of his fat cock—all in one go—effectively pushing your guts up into your chest.
Yeah, he had it bad for you—real bad.
Unable to stop the many intrusive sexual thoughts that would spring in his mind just from being close enough to smell the scent of your sweet vanilla and jasmine perfume.
Yet Toji couldn’t let the chance pass to press his limits with you.
“So—How about ya give me y’er number so we can set up a playdate, eh? Since ya think Megumi’s such a sweet kid and all, mamas.”
Caught off guard, you looked away from Toji in contemplation, chewing on your lip.
“Hm... I-I don't think that’s such a good idea, Fushiguro.”
You shift your stance a bit, taking on a defensive posture.
Tch, fuck. You’d be harder to crack than Toji originally thought.
Plus you seemed to still have some loyalty to Sukuna, even if you held no love for him.
But that was all fine, Toji calculates—a good thing even.
That just meant you would be all the more loyal to him once he did have you.
Thinking on his feet, Toji subtly switches tactics, playing dumb as he lifts a brow.
“Toji, doll, but ya know what I do for work. Think I gots time to be babysitting brats? What, s’not a good idea for the nanny to bring Gumi by?”
“Oh! Of course the nanny! Yeah that’s fine, erm, that's… sorry. I thought—”
“—thought, what mamas? You tryna get a playdate with me too? ”
Toji couldn’t hold back his laughter as your eyes widened in shock.
Embarrassment washed over you like a tsunami, intensified by Toji's teasing. You hid half your face with one hand while the other gripped the grocery cart handle so tightly that Toji half-expected it to snap off.
“Kiddin’ ma—lighten up a ‘lil eh? Ya left y’erself wide open for that one, doll.”
Sighing in defeat, you finally conceded to his charms, exchanging numbers with him solely so his nanny could coordinate the playdates.
“I see you think you got jokes, Fushiguro.”
Toji relished the win as your smile returned.
“Ya know I do—and it's Toji, mama.”
With that shift, Toji was pleased to see you gradually lower your guard around him, the ice between you started to melt. You continued your shopping together, Toji casually picking up a few items, occasionally seeking your advice on what to feed Megumi.
Truth be told, he had no idea. The nanny always handled all the shopping.
Subtly taking the lead in the conversation, Toji casually provoked you into revealing more about yourself. Details he couldn’t piece together—like where you grew up, what your life was like before Japan and what brought you here—all which he cataloged meticulously in his mind.
Toji wanted to ask how a smart girl planning to be a doctor with a full-ride exchange program scholarship to Tokyo University got knocked up by a dumb fuckhead like Ryomen Sukuna—but the very last thing he wanted you to think about when you were with him was Sukuna.
However, each piece of information he learned of you convinced him more of how much he wanted you—
“Oh yeah, Fushiguro! Despite what you said, I actually managed to make a friend!”
–all to himself.
Tch, a fuckin’ friend?
Toji’s demeanor darkened, but you didn’t notice—too busy humming to yourself while checking apples for bruises in the produce section.
Not like this information came as a particular surprise to him, Toji's eyes narrowed as he could guess exactly who it was right away.
Toji had seen the tall raven-haired woman whose afternoon jogs in the park so-conveniently aligned with your walks with Yuji. You both would exchange pleasantries as she admired your son, and you her commitment to fitness, that you would say you never seemed to have the time for these days.
Yet your interactions from what he had seen never ventured much beyond that.
Although Toji would normally oblige you a few friends, having a friend here would complicate his plans.
The women of The Nursery up until now had done such a good job in isolating you all on their own without him having to lift a finger. Toji was relying on their catty caste system to ultimately drive you into his arms, as the only person you could rely on.
Toji couldn’t have one of them ruin that.
He needed to know more about this ‘friend’ of yours.
How well have you gotten to know each other?
And in what ways?
The fact that this development happened right under his watchful eye, without him knowing the depth of it, had Toji cross to say the least.
Thankfully, your isolation had you starved for an attentive ear, so you were eager to spill your guts about your new friend to him.
And as the good future husband he’d be to you, Toji was sure to listen now as he would in the future—or at least appear like he was most of the time.
“She’s new like me! Well, not new I suppose, but back for a stay here with her fiancé until things calm down due to all the commotion happening overseas now.”
So that woman did intend to leave.
Good.
The sooner the better so Toji’s own hand wouldn’t have to be forced and your little ‘friend’ could be spared.
Toji couldn’t have anything or anyone coming in between the two of you—no matter the consequences from who they were.
“She doesn’t have any kids so I’ve been giving her tips and sharing how I dealt with Yuji this past year. She always seems to be busy though, so we haven’t really had the chance to really do anything—but she calls me often.”
Toji’s teeth clenched.
They dared to make phone contact even?
And bad girl—you’d been so eager to give this stranger, who had no respect for boundaries, your number but you hesitated with him?
What did Toji need to do to show you he was the only one with your best interests in mind?
Toji was the only one you should have confided in and the only one you should trust.
“Heh, well isn’t that nice, ma.”
Toji would have to figure out how to deal with the problem of your new friend at a later time. He didn’t want to spend the fleeting moments he had remaining with you brooding, as it was sure to soon show on his face and sour the mood.
Pivoting the subject back to just the two of you, Toji inquired about the baked goods he’s still owed. He could tell you’d forgotten already, but he wasn’t going to pass up the opportunity he had to taste your cooking.
It would keep him sated long enough until he could actually taste you.
“Ya know, I usually don’t like sweets though.”
Toji told you when you asked his favorite dessert and you were genuinely determined you could bake him something he’d like.
“Hmm, you know I can make a mean fudge brownie! I make them with semi-sweet chocolate too. Plus, since I moved here I also cut some sugar and added matcha to the recipe, so they wouldn’t be too sweet. they are so gooey they melt in your mouth.”
“Heh, yeah—I bet you would too, ma.”
This time, you didn’t suppress your amused cackle as you shook your head and pushed your cart forward, still overall ignoring his persistent flirtations even if you were growing more comfortable with them.
Toji sensed the playful personality you’d kept tightly wrapped under all those layers from being with Sukuna, whose cruel sense of humor would only serve to crush yours.
Toji couldn’t wait to be the one to fully draw it back out of you.
“Ugh—boy, you play too much, Fushiguro!”
Toji chuckled, pushing his cart along after yours—he could tell your cheeks were still burning though.
“—Toji, ma.”
When you both finally reached the register, Toji checked out first, slyly sliding his card to cover your groceries as well.
You were completely unaware though, having left your cart with him in line while you rushed Yuji to the bathroom.
Yuji, being the growing boy that he was, had devoured his rice snacks too quickly and promptly spat them up all over himself.
Feeling smug in his chivalry, Toji anticipated seeing an even sweeter smile when you returned to find your groceries already paid for.
Yet, he’d seemingly made another miscalculation with you.
As when you returned to see your groceries bagged and paid for, you kept Yuji in your arms as you placed your bags of groceries in the stroller itself, storming out without a word leaving behind a dumbfounded Toji.
Toji was more than puzzled as you seemed furious at the fact Toji had done what he deemed to be ‘a-nice-thing-any-woman- would-want’.
The fuck happend?!
Shifting Megumi and own bag in his arms, Toji swiftly pursued you.
“Oy, mamas!”
You ignored him but Toji wouldn’t give up on you easily, or at all truthfully.
You didn’t realize that yet but Toji figured you must have gathered he was bullheaded enough to keep following you until you acknowledged him once you abruptly stopped and whipped around to face him.
“What, no ‘thank you’ f’er me, ma?”
Toji watched your nostrils flare as you angrily snapped at him.
“Thank you?!”
God, you were beautiful—even pissed off.
Toji knows he should be more focused on what you were saying in the moment, as you heatedly gave him a piece of your mind. However, Toji zoned out momentarily, unable to quiet his internal thoughts that screamed to him how pretty you were with your brow furrowed and cheeks puffed in indignation.
“... and furthermore you think you can just buy me, is that it?! That just because I have to rely on Sukuna and accept living in a building full of side hoes to give Yuji a comfortable life that I’ll just giggle and go along with anything like the rest of those bitches?!”
Shit.
You were actually pissed.
Ah fuck.
Toji had greatly underestimated your self-worth. Once again, you proved him wrong—and once more, that pleased him. It further highlighted how you were in fact a pearl among The Nursery pigs.
“Uh, Fuck mamas, er–I-I…no–”
Yet you proved to be such a wildcard that you had Toji of all people stuttering as he scrambled to find the right words to appease you.
“—then what?! Say something!”
Toji had to think fast.
He could see how it looked bad now, but in a rare form from his usual nature, Toji’s intentions had been honest. Toji just really wanted to show you he had the means and could take care of you—not to buy you.
Nonetheless, Toji really only had himself to blame as he’s sure you’ve heard of his far less than pious reputation.
Ostracized or not, the bougie women of The Nursery were terrible gossips and he was sure you’d overheard plenty less than savory information about him.
Of course, with all things considered, you’d assume the worst of him.
But Toji had never even bothered to learn any of those bitches names, much less buy them anything—they would give him gifts.
In this situation though, to quell your anger and regain your favor, Toji devised a quick lie, hoping it would smooth things over.
“Tch,” he began, scratching the back of his head and awkwardly looking away from you.
He had to be sure to sell it.
“No, it’s just ah, the guy—er, the teller. He assumed we were together.”
Toji shifted his stance, readjusting a drowsy Megumi in his arms.
“So, you told him we were…?”
You raised a brow, huffing but you didn’t seem as angry as before. Toji saw your eyes soften a bit, distracted by a cute lil yawn from Megumi who sleepily burrowed his face deeper into his shoulder.
Good kid, lookin out for y’er old man, aye Gumi?
Seeing how Megumi was disarming you, Toji knew this was his chance at redemption. Like a gentle giant, Toji’s large hand dwarfed his son’s small head with affection pats—an action he had picked up from observing you.
“Not exactly—but I supposed it looked that way, ma. What with the kids n’ya leaving all y’er shit with me n’all. Easier to just pay then explain.”
Toji continued before you could say anything, seeing as you didn’t look quite convinced.
“Trust me, from all of what you told me today, I know ya can take care of y’erself mamas… even if you are with that asshole.”
You regarded Toji with a scrutinizing gaze for all of a minute, yet that minute felt like hours to him.
He couldn’t remember feeling this uneasy ever—and being in the Yakuza put him in several situations in the past he thought he wouldn’t make it out of.
“Fine,” you resigned with a sigh, “It’s whatever then.”
Seeing that you had set aside the words you originally intended to scold him with, Toji felt that this was the best possible outcome he could have hoped for.
Well shit, bullet dodged.
“Uh yeah, well…I’ll see you around then Fushiguro—”
Toji couldn’t just let you leave like this, on uneasy terms with your frustration still evident.
“—Wait ma!”
And even more so as Toji stopped you once again.
“Look…I ain’t too big to admit I fucked up, mamas. Let me make it up to ya, yeah? Give ya a ride back so ya don’t hafta walk back in this heat?”
Toji knew you wanted to reject his offer out of pride, but he was serious now—there was no fuckin’ way he was gonna let you walk back.
Your load of groceries was way more than your usual trips, and on top of carrying Yuji, a sizable boy for his age, your purse and pushing the stroller would turn a 15 minute walk into a 25 minute one easily.
The scorching summer sun perched high at its peak at this time of day and the thick, near suffocating, humidity could easily turn to heat exhaustion—especially for a young toddler.
He knew you knew that too.
You’d have to accept, per Toji’s calculations.
And you did.
“Okay, why not...”
Yet the reluctance was clear in your voice.
The ride back began uneventfully, yet the calm atmosphere inside the car was tinged with awkwardness.
Megumi was snoozing in his car seat, while Yuji sat on your lap in the passenger seat.
Despite the lingering tension, Toji could see the relief on your face. The transition from the sweltering heat to the cool comfort of his air-conditioned Mercedes had clearly brought you much-needed respite.
The domesticality of it all was something Toji didn’t realize he would miss as much as he did, and it pissed him off that it was something Sukuna of all people had and took for granted.
However, when Toji glanced over at you, he tightened his grip on the wheel with both hands.
Your actions were purely innocent as you entertained Yuji, bouncing him on your knees. However, the movement caused your sundress to lift and bunch damn near to your hips.
Toji swore he could feel the steering wheel crack under his grip as he fought the urge to slide a hand onto your thigh, or at minimum over his soon-to-be-bricked-up cock.
Fuck. Get it together.
But there was nothing Toji could have done to stop his dissociative daydreams, which had grown increasingly vivid since laying eyes on you, from consuming him.
The sleek hardness of the leather steering wheel morphed to be malleable like the inner flesh of your thighs. Toji gripped the wheel tighter, which only made the visualization of how soft your skin would be in contrast to the texture of his calloused hand more apparent. The same hand which would so graciously sink into the warm plush of your skin with reassuring squeezes.
Finally, Toji would also get his answer as to whether or not you had been wearing panties. Toji’s wandering hand would only need to travel up the tiniest bit higher to press his knuckles right against your core.
And when it came down to it, whether you had them on or not mattered little to Toji—regardless of the result, he still intended to bully his thick middle knuckle directly into your clit.
Toji would take satisfaction in keeping his main attention on the road as he engaged you in casual conversation—all the while drawing slow absentminded circles around your bud. He would only pause if he felt the lil’ thing swell up enough—to the point where the soft clicking sounds from your slick could be heard if there wasn’t music playing.
He’d edge you with subtle, yet incessant, pleasure all the way home. Seeing just how much of his teasing your messy cunt could handle.
Toji's mind was stuck so badly in-between your thighs that he’d actually been caught off guard when you finally broke the silence, eagerly asking about his playlist as “How Do U Want It” pumped through the car speakers.
And that's how Toji managed to worm his way back into your good graces.
You seemed genuinely surprised to discover he was also a fan of ’90s hip-hop when he told you he was.
Of course, being a fan of ’90s hip-hop wasn’t a lie—but he had heard this particular song playing from your apartment before, so he made sure to add it to a playlist for whenever he’d be able to get you into his car.
Much to Toji’s enjoyment, before long you were laughing again as he attempted—very, very poorly—to rap along to some of the lyrics in English.
Pleased to have won you back over, Toji purposely missed at least two turns just to keep you in his car a bit longer.
If the day had ended there, he would have considered it a win.
But, of course, with his luck, things would prove to be anything but victorious.
Naturally, once you both returned, Toji carried your bags upstairs. However, that didn’t stop him from playfully teasing you.
Toji joked that—‘Miss Independent didn’t want him paying for her groceries, but she sure as hell didn’t mind him carrying them’—and was rewarded again with the soft snorts of your laughter.
It’s not like you didn’t have your hands full though, cradling both Megumi and Yuji, who were now fast asleep—one on each of your shoulders.
It was…cute.
Fuck, when even was the last time Toji even thought something was cute?
You were cute though, especially with the kids.
That he didn’t mind admitting.
Toji regretted that he didn't snap a picture of the moment. He knew it would likely be over soon.
Heh, maybe it didn’t have to be though.
With both boys asleep in your arms, Toji considered the likelihood of coaxing you to invite him in. You’d surely need help carrying both Yuji and your bags inside—but he didn’t want to push his luck, especially after he had already majorly fucked things up with you once today.
Although, Toji realized you wouldn’t need any convincing when you looked at him with a kind smile that reached all the way into your bright eyes. That was all the encouragement he needed to step across the threshold, technically uninvited, as he held the door open for you.
Toji would have entered too, had the energy not immediately shifted.
“—and just what the fuck is this?”
Motherfucker.
Down the hallway, Sukuna had since stepped out of the elevator with his right hand, Uraume, close behind. Sukuna appeared already agitated, barking rushed orders over the phone.
But Sukuna abruptly ended the call the moment he saw Toji about to enter the condo with you. And as if he owned the entire building himself, Sukuna exuded obnoxious dominance in every stride as he approached.
Toji may have outranked him but Sukuna rivaled Toji in both size and presence, sauntering over to loom behind you with an unmistakable air of possessiveness.
Tch, Sukuna shouldn’t even be here.
Toji had miscalculated—a rare miscalculation, but a big one nonetheless—what he gets, he supposed, for trusting a less than meticulous intel source.
According to his, now incorrect intel, Sukuna was supposed to be in Shinjuku at headquarters. The fact that he was here, interfering with his time he had so meticulously planned with you, infuriated Toji.
Shit—he hadn’t wanted Sukuna to see you two together just yet.
Despite Toji being unable to hide his disdain, he offered a respectful nod to Sukuna, as was customary between fellow upper-ranked yakuza.
Sukuna returned the gesture in-kind, along with a smug grin that had plastered itself across his face.
Tension saturated the air and Toji noticed that your once-gentle smiles had faded, replaced by wary glances exchanged between him and Sukuna.
Toji’s hand causally brushed yours as you carefully handed Megumi back to him before you faced Sukuna.
He noticed you running the spot on your hand where your skin had touched.
Did you also feel the electricity between the two of you burn your skin?
Toji had.
“If I knew you were coming, you could have picked me up from the store, Ryo! Then I wouldn’t have had to be a bother to Fushiguro...”
You could never be a bother to Toji.
Looking you over, Toji scrutinized your every movement. He knew you were merely trying to shift focus and keep the peace—but to do it for him?
After everything today, and how he unintentionally put his foot in his mouth with his actions?
Were—were you falling for him, already?
The slightly strained smile on your face still looked sweet enough, and Toji might have mistaken it for genuine—if not for the real warmth you’d shown him just moments before Sukuna’s arrival.
You really had saved your smiles just for him, isn’t that right mama?
Toji’s heart beats wildly at the thought, however his good temperaments were greatly diminished as he noted how the light in your eyes dimmed.
Seeing you shrink yourself to answer to Sukuna, no matter how insignificant—pissed him off.
Well, at least thanks to him, you wouldn’t have to suffer Sukuna much longer.
As Toji had expected, Sukuna didn’t try to suppress his asshole-like nature, even towards you. Your attempted olive branch had been rebuffed by the heavy hand on your shoulder. It was evident Sukuna was unconcerned with your excuses as he focused solely on Toji.
“Ah Fushiguro, I see you’ve met my son and his mother.”
Even though Sukuna had failed to give you a title, the intent behind his words and demeanor was unmistakable:
Sukuna owned you.
So that's how it is, eh?
Toji couldn’t say he was surprised.
Although his possessive nature wasn't driven by affection for you, Sukuna simply never liked to share his toys.
Sukuna must have thought you were just another plaything for Toji, well aware of what Toji got up to typically at The Nursery,
Eh, and were you any other woman, Sukuna would have been right.
But you were never toy to Toji, he wanted much more than just to fuck you, even before he realized it himself.
Toji would be lying if he said that he wasn’t looking forward to that too though.
“Heh, we’ve already had our introductions before, isn’t that right…?”
Toji was pleased by the flushed, wide-eyed expression on your face when he dared to address you by your first name—just as he was pleased that Sukuna’s smirk faltered into a scowl at Toji’s bold familiarity with you.
Toji mainly did it to piss Sukuna off. However seeing you flustered, knowing he could have an effect on you even in front of Sukuna, had been a much sweeter treat.
“Oh? Then she must know not to pay heed to old roosters who are now forced to spend more time in the hen house than running the farm these days. Although, a rooster who cannot crow effectively is of little use anywhere else, I suppose.”
Toji’s expression held firm onto the casual smugness he wore, but inside he was boiling.
Toji knew exactly what Sukuna was referring to.
Since his late wife passed, Toji had been only sent for specialized jobs that required his immense powerhouse abilities. Although he could easily air out a room of 20 men, Toji was considered to be more of a loose cannon than ever before.
Simply not caring—Toji took his anger out on more than just his targeted kills with no second thoughts given to the collateral damage of the environment he was in nor the civilian casualties around. Thus Toji made the damage control messier and harder on the organization in cases where more precision was needed.
Some would have called that a liability and had him dealt with, yet the bigger liability still would be trying to ‘deal with’ Toji in the first place.
Many had tried over the years for one reason or another—and it had been a guaranteed death sentence every time too.
Regardless, Toji had remained dog loyal to the organization though, with little care for power or status, even though it came to him anyway.
As long as he was paid, Toji had been content—and in turn, so had the organization.
This resulted in Toji mostly being able to do as he pleased, even when he went a little rogue at times.
“Rooster, eh—”
Toji knew Sukuna’s condescending smug attitude stemmed from the special privileges he’d been given to sit in on the executive meetings to solve the current unrest of having to do with whatever old fuck of an executive had gotten himself offed.
Regardless, it could still be seen as a loss of status not being in those meetings.
More importantly—Toji’s rogue behaviors could easily be manipulated into a target on his back should Sukuna assert he’d been a part of the internal treason.
Toji knew he had to tread cautiously with Sukuna, but Toji still did not feel threatened in the least.
“—I’d like to think of myself here as more of a fox though, it suits me better don’t ya think?”
Toji’s gaze had briefly met your own, and you quickly turned away, his grin growing even wider.
But then again, if Sukuna wanted to think Toji was down and out—Toji would let him.
It would work to Toji’s advantage in the long run with securing you as his anyway.
Toji wasn’t worried as he had nothing to do with that old geezer getting wacked and he was glad they’d left him out of it.
Besides, Sukuna being brought into the inner circle could have just as easily been a way to keep a closer watch on him. After all, Sukuna wasn’t an executive—and while Toji was, his role was to eliminate threats, not uncover them. It made more sense for Toji to stay away than for Sukuna to be involved at all.
All which was a net win for Toji, as he found himself with more opportunities to spend time with you, while the organization conveniently kept Sukuna occupied.
With a swift, smooth motion, Toji bent down to retrieve the stray apple that had rolled from your grocery bag. He polished it against his suit jacket before handing it back to you with a sly smile.
“Ya know, I am just next door lil’ hen. This ol’fox is still capable of being a good neighbor. I’ll always have plenty of sugar for you too, should you ever find yourself in need…”
Toji turns to Sukuna.
“...Especially since Sukuna has his hands full on the upper levels of the farm these days, eh? S’a wonder at all how ya manage to visit the hens on this floor too.”
Toji watched with amusement as your eyes widened at the blatant innuendos given right in front of Sukuna, who merely was left growling as his cell audibly and persistently vibrated.
Sukuna deemed the call more important than the coded banter with Toji, as he all but dragged you and Yuji into the condo—leaving the groceries for Uraume to bring in.
Although he had won the battle of the day, Toji regretted his actions later that evening when he inevitably lost the war.
Sukuna made sure to let it be known Toji lost too, as Sukuna had fucked you against the adjoining wall of the master bedroom so hard the entire wall shook.
Your pained yet pleasure-filled moans seeped through the thick insulation of the walls.
Using you like you were just one of his toys, Sukuna was quite literally pounding the point home that you belonged to him with every forceful quake.
Point taken, but what angered Toji more was Sukuna was being too rough with you.
Toji could have sworn he heard you plead for Sukuna to slow down and the irony of his concern was not lost on Toji.
Toji was never known for being a particularly gentle lover himself, but your body had been through enough—you’re a mother now.
You deserved better than the careless treatment of some cheap plastic fuck doll.
Nevertheless, despite the roughness, it was clear from the diluted moans through the insulation—you had liked it.
Sukuna was still making you cum.
And oh god, did Toji ever want to prove to your precious pussy that his thick inches would fuck her even harder if that’s what she asked of him.
Toji had to repress a frustrated groan when he realized he was painfully hard.
Your damped cries had Toji palming himself for relief before he even knew what he was doing.
Yet for all the perverse arousal he felt, Toji did feel some semblance of guilt.
His taunting of Sukuna ensured that this punishment was a lesson for the both of you.
But—Fuck.
Toji couldn’t deny his sadistic side.
He was a killer after all.
Even the distressed tremor of your euphoric moans sounded absolutely heavenly to him, and it wasn’t long before Toji fumbled with his own belt to drag out his heavily leaking cock.
Thick humid breaths left Toji as he hissed from having thumbed off the viscous pre-gathering on his redden tip.
Toji slowly spread it down his pulsing length, shuddering.
His frustrations at not being the one touching you—not being the one making you shiver and moan, are only rivaled by his frustration of this being the first time he’s had any real fire in his loins since he’s met you.
The fierce desire to cum was overtaking his more rational brain or self-control as he’d hadn’t been this hard in weeks, even when he’d rub one out from watching old security footage of you.
Wanting any semblance of contact, Toji placed his free hand on the wall—on the exact spot he imagined Sukuna had your cheek pressed against.
With closed eyes, Toji pictured himself cupping your face, thumb smoothing away any stray hairs or tears while he is the one thrusting into you, filling you.
His large hand encompassed his length while he thrusted into his rough palm, faster now that the speed of the thumping had increased—signaling Sukuna was close to finishing you.
Swallowing a frustrated roar, your muted cries for Sukuna through the wall brought Toji out of his fantasies and back to the harsh reality that Sukuna was the one balls deep in your tight milf pussy—while he was only in his own hand.
Nevertheless, Toji was determined to cum and even more so, determined to soon be the one making you scream in pleasure.
If you were this loud now—you’d be much louder on his cock.
Toji leaned in even closer, resting his head on his forearm against the wall, the wall that still shuddered with the force of Sukuna ruthlessly rearranging your guts.
Forcing himself to dissociate once more, so he could finish—Toji squeezed his eyes shut tightly as he bit his lip to the point of drawing blood. In the daydream, in Toji’s mind, it wasn’t the coarse skin of his palm that stroked his cock but the silky, wet heat of your cozy lil’ cunt.
Toji convinced himself that the sloshing noises that rang throughout his bedroom were from him stretching your pussy to his shape as his fat tip slammed against your cervix— and not from the embarrassing amount of pearlescent fluid spilling over his hand.
He hadn’t even cum yet—a testament to how backed up he truly was.
Toji should have been ashamed at the way his girth had pulsed in his palm, but he was so close, and so determined to finish with you, there was no room for ego.
Picking up speed to nearly the point of chafing, Toji jerked his cock feverishly. Toji came when he heard the loudest moan yet vibrate through the wall, and the banging had ceased with a final jarring shake.
Rolling back his eyes, Toji released his load all over the wall of his master bedroom, finally sated. Toji had allowed himself to release a strangled groan of relief, once he believed you both were no longer near the wall.
Panting and half-delirious with euphoric release, Toji’s eyes followed the trail of his thick cum splatter slowly trickling down the wall as his once engorged cock deflated in his hand.
With a curled lip and narrowed-in eyes, the white fluid turns red in his mind’s eye.
A dark chuckle escaped his lips and Toji fantasized what it would be like to put a slug right between Sukuna’s eyes. Toji’s large load pooled onto the floor in a similar fashion to how Sukuna’s brains would leak, spilling out as it also formed a similarly morbid pool of fluids.
Yet even despite his more ruthless inclinations, upon inhaling a deep breath, Toji felt an unfamiliar zen wash over him.
Killing was just business to Toji, and he couldn’t recall the last time the thought of offing someone had brought him this much pleasure or any semblance of peace.
Yet the fact revealed itself to him then, in that moment—the truth that he’d kill everyone in this goddamn organization for you if that's what it took.
Toji knew Sukuna wasn’t one of those cowardly fucks who would just roll over while someone moved in on his woman either, so Toji would likely be forced to kill him should Sukuna ever find out his true plans for you.
Toji sighs reluctantly—it was just a mere fantasy.
Not that he gave two fucks what would happen to Sukuna, but killing him would only fan the flames and might even cause an all-out internal war within the organization.
A war that as the top assassin, he’d be expected to quell with force—for god knows how long.
Ultimately, that would mean a loss for Toji too.
The more involved with the organization he was, the less time he’d get with you.
Brute force was never the ideal way to deal with someone like Sukuna, and it would be better for everyone if you seemingly left him of your own accord.
But what other choice did he have?
He’d do what it took to get you at the end of the day.
And while these complications may have deterred a younger Toji, you, as well as the challenge itself, breathed new life into his aging bones.
That life extended into all areas of his current one. Even the usually reserved Megumi had become less quiet and more responsive to Toji with his changed demeanor and increased presence around The Nursery.
You didn’t even know how much you were fixing his life even if you were only on the outskirts of it now.
You had made him better—so in turn, he would give you better.
Toji had no real interests, hobbies, nor friends.
Your moving-in had been the most exciting thing that had happened to him since she had been alive and Toji had lived the last year of his life on autopilot—but no more.
Now that he had something, well, someone that made him feel energized once again.
⟡
The familiar trill of a cell phone—one of the many burners he used for his yakuza dealings—pulls Toji out of his thoughts once again.
His lip curls in annoyance at the person on the line.
This is why Toji likes working alone.
Others were not only liabilities, but they were rarely ever self-sufficient.
Always wanting to ‘check-in’ and ‘confirm the plan’, rather than just taking the damn action themselves like they were supposed to.
But alas, the task of getting rid of Sukuna was something Toji knew he couldn’t do alone, he needed the intel source, even if they were unreliable at best.
Toji answers the call, but keeps it brief with his clipped replies.
By the time it ended, he was already scoffing, indifferent to the voice still speaking on the other end as he cut the call short and hung up as soon as he got the info he needed.
Shoving the phone into his back pocket, Toji sparks another cigarette.
His 'partner' had so kindly reminded him of the loose ends he still needed to tie up.
But that could wait.
For now, Toji remained where he was, stationed on his balcony—ready to stay out here all night for the small chance you may need him.
©𝐛𝐥𝐤𝐤𝐢𝐳𝐳𝐚𝐭 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒. 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐨𝐫 𝐠𝐟𝐱, 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞.
⟢ end credits: please comment, like and reblog and lmk what you think! I'd really appreciate the feedback as this fic has been my baby working on it.
i will likely end up completing another work while i work on episode 3 as my adhd ass usually needs to break it up in order not to get writers block and unlike e2 i had only done the outline so far, so if i post something else in the meantime just know i'm still working on episode 3!
#✎ᝰ𝓀𝒾𝓏𝓏𝒶𝓉¢σσкѕ#✎ᝰ𝓀𝒾𝓏𝓏𝒶𝓉¢σσкє∂тнαт#toji fushiguro#toji smut#toji fushiguro smut#sukuna x reader#sukuna smut#jjk x reader#toji x reader#toji x you#toji x y/n#sukuna ryomen smut#jjk sukuna#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujustsu kaisen x reader#jjk x you#jjk smut#jjk fic#jjk toji#ryomen sukuna smut#jujutsu kaisen fanfiction#toji fushiguro x y/n#toji fushiguro x you#jjk x black reader#toji fushiguro x reader#toji fushiguro x black reader#toji x black reader#toji x fem reader#sukuna x you#sukuna x black!reader
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This is how my family has come to live a life resembling hell in the displacement camps. They live a life filled with misery and suffering after the war destroyed their simple home, which was filled with beautiful memories. Yes, now they live in a tent that you can barely see as a small enclosed spot, a torn life that bears nothing of its name, with continuous sorrow and pain hitting them constantly. The pieces of fabric surrounding the tent speak to narrate a new chapter from a book titled "Tragedy in the Land of Pain and Sorrows..."
Just by looking into my mother's eyes, you can see that all the world's calamities have been placed upon her head. It's as if life's circumstances conspired against my family to take away my father, the beacon of strength and support for them, and cruelly snatched my brother's daughter and my sister's daughter for no reason. Despite all that, these circumstances did not stop there and showed no mercy to what remained of my family but went on to demolish their home, which used to bring us together and held our simple memories.
Until they became homeless in the displacement camps that offer no mercy and do not provide the basic necessities of life, lacking in privacy, their world turned black when they found themselves displaced from their homes, sometimes wrapping themselves in hardship and at other times sipping on misery. They endure the harshness of life, living under the sun's heat, with nothing to protect them but a pile of junk. This has become their daily routine: waking up in the morning to stand in water lines to get the bare minimum of water, then striving to find a morsel of food until night falls, which was supposed to be a time of rest, but it seems life has written suffering upon them. As soon as they close their eyes, they wish they could keep one eye open, fearing the treachery of rodents that might attack them... This is part of the suffering my family endures in the displacement camps under oppressive conditions and an unparalleled tragic situation.
I, Mahmoud Saleh, appeal to you to look upon my torn and displaced family with mercy and grant them the opportunity to continue their lives in peace. I stand now before these compassionate hearts, full of hope to help what remains of my family and provide a better living condition for them, so they can enjoy safety and peace.
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