#i need to make their relationship chart connect on every point

[astrobiscuits]

Chiron persona chart obs

WARNING: BRIEF MENTIONS OF ED, S*ICIDE, S*XUAL AB*SE. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND NOT TO READ THIS POST IF YOU'RE VERY SENSITIVE thank you

Stelliums show us where our main trauma or wound lies:

Stellium in Aries/1st house - body image issues/body dysmorphia, hating ones face and wanting to change it at all cost, being so focused on ones trauma that it results in excessive independence

Stellium in Taurus/2nd house - self worth issues, hating ones voice and/or being made fun of for how ones voice sounds, excessive shopping due to fear of having nothing, having stash of cash hidden everywhere in the house due to being scared of getting robbed

Stellium in Gemini/3rd house - being too scared to speak to others, hating the way you express yourself, being an overachiever at school due to fear of being seen as "stupid", fear of being run over by a bicycle or a car

Stellium in Cancer/4rd house - family problems (divorced parents, one of the parents is out of the picture for whatever reason, family members dealing with addictions, family abuse), issues when it comes to comforting yourself in times of crisis, HEAVY abandonment issues

Stellium in Leo/5th house - had to grow up too fast instead of enjoying childhood, fear of not being "the perfect parent", fear of not making it in the industry (for those pursing creative careers or following their passions), issues regarding getting pregnant and delivering a child, fear of being burned by the sun or by fire

Stellium in Virog/6th house - fear of contacting an incurable disease, issues regarding eating disorders, trauma regarding messy spaces, which results in OCD

Stellium in Libra/7th house - issues caused by getting cheated in a relationship, fear of trusting someone in a one-on-one connection, trauma resulted from business affairs which have gone wrong

Stellium in Scoprio/8th house - fear of death, issues caused by sexual trauma/sexual abuse, grooming, stalking, human trafficking, mysterious disappearances, divorce, taxes, loans

Stellium in Sagittarius/9th house - fear of not being able to experience everything one has always wanted, issues caused by not living to ones full potential, fear of travelling too far away, religious trauma

Stellium in Capricorn/10th house - fear of being forgotten and not standing out, issues regarding not looking & acting in a professional manner when needed, fear of not being promoted in ones career, the trauma is very visible to the public

Stellium in Aquarius/11th house - fear of not fitting in a crowd or a friend group, issues regarding being part of LGBTQ+ or a subculture often dismissed (POC, people with disabilities, orphanage kids, emos), trauma related to the country's government and (possible) implications in war, fear of dying in a natural disaster (earthquake, tsunami, volcano), fear of dying by electrocution or in an airplane crash

Stellium in Pisces/12th house - fear of being admitted to a prison, asylum or nursing home, having frequent thoughts of unaliving onself, fear of drowning, fear of what happens after death, fear of being misunderstood or made fun of for hearing voices and seeing things which aren't real

Moon shows us how we process our trauma and wounds:

Moon in Aries/1st house : screams, throws things around (maybe also breaks a few things), if anyone reminds them of their wounds/traumas, they'd literally break that person's neck; they might recklessly drive, play with fire or drink excessively out of anger

Moon in Taurus/2nd house : resorts to retail therapy, cooks their favourite meals, gets some comfy pillow and blankets and watches their favourite show; they're slow to heal their wounds, but they manage to do so

Moon in Gemini/3rd house : overanalyzes what happened to the point that they've thought of every scenario possible, (if they have more than one wound/trauma) switches between wounds, is usually open about their wounds and traumas with siblings and acquaintances

Moon in Cancer/4th house : cries 24/7, acts distant with people who are not close to them and defensive with those who want to talk about their feelings; they tend to have very, very unhealthy coping mechanisms (aka they resort to self-harm)

Moon in Leo/5th house : transforms their pain & wounds into a form of art - whether it's through dancing, painting, singing, acting, photography, videography; sometimes they might not recognize how much their past affects them, especially around others, they boast about how "it wasn't that bad" even though they're clearly affected by what happened

Moon in Virgo/6th house : focuses on the details, what they could have done better and what they didn't, easily becomes anxious, cleaning the house becomes a form of therapy for them; in case of physical wounds, they document themselves very well (sometimes they are even able to heal themselves, since this Moon sign in Chiron persona chart has a sort of 6th sense about medicinal procedures)

Moon in Libra/7th house : their s/o knows every pain, wound and traumas they've ever experienced, analyzes the past in a logical manner and tries to find a healthy coping mechanism, without hurting anyone else in the process; listens to sad, romantic songs

Moon in Scorpio/8th house : if someone else is guilty for their wounds/traumas, they're going to plot revenge and execute their plan in a discreet manner; often jealous, they might pursue fwb connections to stop thinking about their pain; the ones who manage to deal with their past in a healthy manner become a completely different person in the process

Moon in Sagittarius/9th house : dealing with their wounds/traumas opens a new world for them, they end up adopting a new set of beliefs as a coping mechanism, travelling to another country to get some space from their surroundings helps them heal

Moon in Capricorn/10th house : replays the past over and over again, they numb their emotions, if asked about their wounds/traumas, they answer very stoic; they also tend to be more realistic and don't like to tell themselves lies or hear lies about their trauma

Moon in Aquarius/11th house : resorts to technology to cope with the pain, is usually open about their wounds and traumas with their friends or on social media, but not with family; they might try some unusual coping mechanisms

Moon in Pisces/12th house : they isolate themselves from everyone in order to cope with the pain, meditation and breathing techniques are their to-go methods of calming their anxiety down; if they don't manage to cope in a healthy way, they dissociate and go through a depersonalization process or an addiction takes over them (drinking, smoking, they overuse medication etc.)

Jupiter shows us where we're blessed, but fail to see. The stronger the modality, the more obvious it is to other people.

♃ Jupiter in fixed signs (Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, Aquarius) and/or fixed houses (2nd house, 5th house, 8th house, 11th house) are extremely blessed and everyone is able to notice, but the native.

♃ Jupiter in cardinal signs (Aries, Cancer, Libra, Capricorn) and/or cardinal houses (1st house, 4th house, 7th house, 11th house) are blessed, but only a specific category of people notice it.

♃ Jupiter in mutable signs (Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, Pisces) and/or mutable houses (3rd house, 6th house, 9th house, 12th house) are still blessed, but the effect is hardly noticeable to anyone.

Those with:

Grand Trine/Kite/Yod (Finger of God)

Sun, Jupiter, North Node and ruler of the chart conjuncting MC and/or placed in 10th/11th house (minimum 2 placements)

Stellium in 10th house/11th house

-> have got amazing healing abilites and often end up pursuing careers where they help & heal society (usually as doctors, therapists, spiritual advisors, social workers, advocates who actually make a difference, etc.) They usually become famous for their healing gifts.

Other small considerations:

Ascendant shows us how we are perceived at first glance when we are dealing with pain

IC shows us how we are perceived by our family (or in a safe, secluded place) when we are dealing with pain

DSC shows us how we are perceived by our partner or best friend when we are dealing with pain

MC shows us how we are perceived in public (or in our career) when we are dealing with pain

North Node shows us our salvation (where we need to focus on in order to heal)

���� Sun trine Moon & Sun sextile Moon individuals have an easier time healing their traumas and wounds

🕊 Sun opposite Saturn & Sun square Saturn individuals feel the need to rebel from their father/grandparents, norms that have been imposed on them, old customs & traditions, institutions/government, in order to heal themselves

[wordsinhaled]

Restaurant owner/chef Charles / Food critic Edwin AU!!!

So, I just thought of this AU and I am so jazzed about it that I need to drop this idea somewhere so it can become a 100k fic I can devour in one sitting asdfhfhfhf

In an ideal world I’d want to offer the floor to someone Desi to run with this idea, or to collab with me on it because I want to do Charles' food and culture and relationship with his mum justice. I’ve only been adjacent to the restaurant business (my family ran a small café for a bit and I worked there, and I have a family member who did culinary school, so).

I just know that this idea has Arrived in my brain and I can’t just let it sit in there unattended, asdjfjfjf

I'm tagging @nix-nihili and @queen-of-hobgobblers 'cause I feel like this will be up your street???

Okay - so Charles and his mum own a small Indian restaurant. It’s a family business and his parents ran it together ("together") before. Charles’ father was incredibly controlling about the menu, their community partners and suppliers, as well as pretty much every other aspect of the business (and their lives, behind the scenes). Now Charles’ father is out of the picture—I'm undecided how this happens, but I just think Charles deserves to live an unfettered life without Mr. Rowland hurting him anymore, tbh.

He gets to rediscover the joy of cooking together with his mum, cooking as freely as he wants and not being held back by his dad's expectations, refreshing the restaurant's menu to feature more authentic versions of the dishes, making connections with new suppliers, redoing the accounting to pay everybody a living wage... Just generally, like, revamping the entire restaurant to be a more joyful place to be that celebrates delicious food and companionship as a form of connection and sharing. Edwin is a food critic who goes to the grand reopening of the restaurant. Edwin likes to write about and document food. He enjoys experiencing a restaurant and its food possibly even more than the tasting of it. He presents like the uptight, exacting sort of food critic restaurants are intimidated by, with his many layers and his bow tie and his posture and his perfect hair, his little notebook and his vintage pocket pen. But inside he just wants to be able to feel some sort of a connection: with the chef through the food (What is the dish trying to tell him?); with the other person at the table—if there is another person, which is so rare.

Family mealtimes for Edwin growing up were distant affairs, overly formal and stilted and coded, minefields for being scrutinized and speaking and acting in only the most acceptable ways; not places to be honest or genuine or to let one's guard down. Certainly not occasions to experience genuine enjoyment. He wants to believe that food, which is so vital to life, and the preparing and the sharing of it, can be different. Positive. Joyous.

Charles gives Edwin a tour of the restaurant when he arrives. Charles is not like a lot of other restaurant owners Edwin has met. He introduces Edwin to his mum and the way he looks at her makes a pang go through Edwin's chest because clearly, they love each other so much, and Edwin may have never had that but just looking at it heals something in him. He's not getting invested, though. (Right?)

Charles' enthusiasm is like, off the charts. He's practically vibrating, to the point where excitement tips over into anxiety, clearly trying to keep it toned down and failing. And Charles is like, "I'm sorry. Just a bit nervous, yeah? I really care about this place. I need it to—I mean. I really want it to do well."

Edwin's heart goes out to him. "Do not worry," he says, softly. "I am not here to hurt you." He doesn't know why he says it but all the tension goes out of Charles, the slightly frantic look goes out of his eyes, and he gives Edwin the brightest smile he thinks he's ever seen. It's a gorgeous smile. Relieved, and carefree, and warm like sunshine.

"D'you want to try some food?" He says it almost conspiratorially, as though this is not Edwin's primary and entire purpose in being here.

Edwin looks around the quiet, empty restaurant. It's cozy and warm with mid-afternoon sunlight streaming in through the windows at the front. Even without any patrons, without the din or bustle of a full dining room, it seems to beckon to foster shared happiness within it. "I was under the impression that I would be partaking of your dinner service this evening," he says delicately, trying to hide that he might actually want nothing better than to never leave here at all, let alone try some food.

"Well, yeah," Charles says, "'course you are. But this is different, innit? Not for the article. Come on, let me cook for you. You look like..." He stops. Perhaps considering if he's about to say too much. His eyes are bright and thoughtful and fixed on Edwin so intently that Edwin doesn't breathe for a moment. "You look like no one's cooked for you in ages." It comes out soft, but firm; as though he knows what he's talking about. Edwin feels like the wind has been knocked out of him.

"No one has ever cooked for me," says Edwin matter-of-factly.

He has no idea what it is about Charles that makes him admit something so honest—although it is not entirely accurate. His family had had a personal chef. Technically speaking, all of Edwin's meals had been cooked for him, until much to his parents' chagrin he went off to a student flat, and culinary school, and began to cook them for himself. But he suspects that no one has ever cooked for him, the way Charles Rowland is offering to now. Properly. Like it means something. Like he is trying to say something through it; unspoken words that Edwin has always wanted to hear.

Let me know you. Let me connect with you. Let me take care of you.

Charles' eyes widen. Clearly, he is trying to process Edwin's bleak admission. "Right," he says, after a beat, as his posture gains something determined; his grin bright and charming. "That settles it, then. I know exactly what I'm going to make you."

And before Edwin can say anything else, he's taking Edwin's hand in his and tugging him towards the kitchen.

[jellynui]

here's my little analysis on vere havinf commitment+attachment issues for the 3 people who asked.. love you guys

um beforehand I want it to be known if I got anything wrong please correct me, and alot of this was from my friend heidienui on tt🤞🤞🤞kinda long

——

Literally his entire character is being so mysterious and lying to the point the entire main cast (except Ais I fear) is annoyed by him and wants nothing to do with him. He makes it clear he wants nothing to do with a relationship—and I'd believe it's partly because he wouldn't want to be chained down in THAT part of his life as well (along with the senobium chaining him)—but I also believe it's because he feels a bit ashamed of it?? Yes, he's strong, but would you honest to god want to try to form a genuine connection when you are treated like a freak and a hunting dog? Even Mhin says how dehumanizing it is. "There are monsters living on every other street, but he's the only one who needs a muzzle before being taken on a walk."

He lies about most, if not anything, and gets mad when asked too many questions (if I'm correct even in his demo end he kills the MC after you ask about the main cast). He deviates the subject through sexual innuendos and jokes, and I'd like to emphasize kuras in particular. I read all his relationship charts, he only seems to be afraid of Kuras (who showed his true form to him). He only deviates the topic in such a way that becomes noticeable with Kuras. Thought that was an interesting detail

Bringing back the idea of a relationship being the only aspect of his life not 'tying him down', I really do think that's why he has commitment issues. He already had the Senobium put him on some magic collar and chain, and he's bound by their will til the day he dies—Why would he want to lock himself down with a single person, too? (+my friend heki even added that he wouldn't want to tie himself down in fears that it'll be come one sided, like his feelings towards the senobium)

Basically in summary he lies abt everything and has difficulty trusting others and gaining an actual, genuine connection with people (he only really does hookups, not real affection),,, umm and he hates commitment because it's the only freedom he truly has left

[kakiastro]

Lunar Return-Your month ahead

Solar return is talked about a lot but did you know that you have a Lunar return too?

What the difference?

Solar- when the Sun orbits back into the sign & date you were born in, Aka, your birthday. Solar returns happen every year. It shows the outlook of your year ahead until your next birthday comes.

Lunar - when the Moon orbits back into the sign you were born in. Instead of a yearly analysis like the solar, this will be a monthly analysis. Every 29ish days, you have a new lunar return chart.

How do I read my lunar return chart?

- The same you would any other chart but you have to read it from a moon point of a view.

-the Moon rules over our private and home life. It rules over our family and other loved ones. It rules over our emotional needs and wants. It’s our most intimate and safe space from the outside world.

*THIS DOES NOT CHANGE YOUR NATAL CHART! Your natal chart will always be the same forever. Return charts are to show the themes of our lives. I just wanted to make that clear.

The breakdown of the chart

For example: Scorpio rising

South/North Nodes- this is important because this shows you what you learned from the previous month and early on in this month (SN) to what you want to learn at the end of this month(NN). SN Taurus 7h /NN Scorpio 1h, this shows the you learned how to connect with people in a surface level and the material side of relationships. Now you you’re learning about how you emotionally connect with others but you’re looking deep within yourself first. “What do I need to feel intimacy on a deeper level”

Ascendant & Chart ruler - overall outlook for the month and what the theme is. Let’s say you have a Scorpio rising with ruler Pluto Capricorn in the 3h for this month. Themes of power, money topics such as loans and debts, sex, intellectual and emotional bonds, research, grandparents/elders, career, siblings, cars related topics, short travel and your local neighborhood will be the main topics

Moon- since this is a Lunar chart, the moon is the first planet after the chart ruler that we should be looking at. The moon sign will always be the same as your natal moon, hence “lunar return” the house the moon falls in is the most important. If you have a Libra moon, it would be in your 12h for this month. So you may feel like going into hermit mode, being more creative, traveling to a foreign unknown land or territory, if you’re interested in spirituality or holistic, traveling to the beach or being near water, going to the hospital, prison visit(hey, you never know)

Sun- this will be the not so private part of our lives out in the open. The Sun is the one that highlights everything in our life. It’s our life force. Let’s say the Sun is in Gemini 8h. This really enhanced the Scorpio energy so reread those themes that I wrote above now add the Gemini energy. This may be the month a lot of secrets or just deeply hidden emotions boil over to the surface. It’s giving death and rebirth season

Mercury-this will show your daily routine(s) throughout the month. It’s your health and possible health concerns, what you’ll be mostly thinking, talking about throughout this month. It also rules over your pets. If Mercury is in Gemini 8h along with the Sun then this could be time you really talk about your fears, worries, trauma, your healing growth journey, money problems or blessings, you may change something drastic about your routine, getting 2 new pets or giving one away, your hands such as breaking a nail or finger, getting new rings .

Venus- this will show you what your relationship(s), finances, your physical home and your personal possessions in it, food habits . Let’s say you have a Venus Virgo 11h. Posting a life update on social media, changing up your diet, you could be more vocal about your struggles or just struggles in general on social media, being of service and helping strangers more this month

Mars- this will show you where you’re putting your most energy in this month. Mars rules over our physical body and what get us up and moving. Mars is in Aries 6h for this month, yore putting a lot of your energy into yourself, your health, your job, your pets,it’s all about healing you this month, keep in mind too mars is also your chart ruler because it also rules Scorpio.

Jupiter- this will show you where you’re doing too much lol jk..sort of😅 this can show you where in will be expanded upon, your faith, what you’ll learn, your ideals, long distance travels, court case(if you have one), your good luck for this month. Jupiter Aries 6h with Mars, remember when I said you’ll be focused on you lol, oh with Jupiter, it’s even more intense and heightened

Saturn-this will show the sucky but rewarding parts of the month. Saturn is always trying to teach us some lessons which is never fun. However, if you applied what you know then this is growth which is the goal right? Saturn in Pisces 5h, getting serious about your creativity projects, expressing yourself in a more fluid but serious. You know you could express more of your subconscious thoughts to others

Uranus-the shocking and I didn’t see that coming moments for the month. Where you will want to progress. Uranus Taurus 7h, you may have a different outlook on relationships, meeting someone unexpectedly, unexpected money or buying something you didn’t think you would where.

Neptune- your subconscious thoughts for the month, only you will see this side of you. Neptune Pisces 5h, diving into unknown territory with dating, your dreams, new locations.

Pluto- transformations that we go through this month. Saturn is the hard but rewarding lessons while Pluto is the lessons that damn near breaks us and put us in a fetal position while crying with a blanket over our head, but he transforms us(up to us if it makes a good or bad one). Our fears and traumas live here so it’s not easy to go through. I don’t need to put an example here since it’s our chart ruler.

If you want to see how this plays out, keep a journal and just document the important parts that resonate with you that month. Then go back and look at your lunar chart and start connecting the dots. I would recommend to look at your lunar chart at the beginning of the month then relook at the end to see the storyline of that month in the chart. I’ll bet you 5$ you’ll be blown away!

I’m open for readings!

[janesgms]

Astro notes - 01

✨️ General Edition ✨️

Fire women look like goddesses in red. they're fine as fuck in red hair, red lipstick, red clothes, just red red red red (do it paint your hair red ❤)

Fire placements tend to eat while drinking water, and feel energetically refreshed by the water in general. They literally feel like they're reborn when they get out of the shower lol

If you have moon conjunct south node (or other personal planets maybe) in your venus persona chart, you probably will meet and even marry with a past life lover!

If you have personal planets in aries and sagittarius in water houses, you are as intuitive and spiritual as people with water personal planets, or even more than them

If they also have south node conjuncting personal planets, they will have many insights in past lives in general, they can tell you so many details to you, it's amazing

I love you so much people with personal planets in the 12th house, you are in my heart and you're very special <3

Every gemini needs a sagittarius in their lives and vice-versa, bitch we're soulmates (also every virgo needs a libra and vice-versa)

I've noticed married couples usually have the same moon or moon conjunct venus, or even both! So cute

If you feel emotionally connected to someone and you don't have the same moon sign, check your moon persona chart because you probably have their moon sign in it

Aquarius venus natives love so hard when they truly fall in love, but if this person break their hearts they will never look in their face again

Having the same vertex and north node as someone is a clear fated connection. the vertex feels like you'll always meet no matter what, the nn feels like you'll have the same journey in life. both will always share a deep knowledge with each other

What's up with 12th house synastry and this dreamy deja vu life you feel all the time when you're in love with them? I already understood we're connected universe, you can stop now...

Cancer rising men 👨‍👩‍👦 🤝 💏 women with 4th house placements. (in case you didn't understand, they want to have a family together and have such a nurturing love for each other)

Mars in 1st house in a platonic relationship will make the house person be personally annoyed by everything the mars does but deeply find it funny, and the mars will love to annoy the house (it's giving siblings/cousins vibes)

Actually moon conjunct ascendant in a friendship with two females will make them both see themselves in each other, but this will make them uncomfortable because they both think they're better than the other person. Usually the moon person wants to try a friendship but the ascendant person doesn't give a f or just finds the ascendant person too childish or annoying

If you're deeply and unconscioulsy afraid of water is not because you have 12th house/pisces placements specifically, it could be, but you probably died drowned in one of your lives

Don't think you don't have past lives connections just because isn't a personal planet conjuncting your south node in synastry, it could be any planet or calculation point, pr even asteroids, they're also important

Having moon conjunct placements double whammy in a friendship is an amazing thing to have and this friendship will probably last for a looong time (for ex: person A has moon conjunct person B's mars and person B has moon conjunct person A's jupiter)

Venus conjunct mars in aries in a composite chart is that couple that the chemistry never ends, they will always be on fire, burning for each other 🔥🔥 (specially if they also have earth placements)

If one of the angles conjunct your south node in synastry, it means you both still have business to solve in this lifetime, because it is also aspecting the north node

If someone's juno conjunct your south node in a platonic relationship, this person helped you to find your husband/wife in a past life, or just helped you two to get together

If it's a non platonic relationship, this person could be your husband or wife in a past life

12th house synastry in a non platonic relationship 🤝 both having the same intense dreams with each other at the same time. Also, if you're the planet person, it's easier for you to manifest the house person to dream of you!!

8th and 12th house synastry in a platonic relationship will cause conversations so interesting and spiritual, find a friend with these characteristic if you love these type of conversations

Is not that vedic astrology is more right than the western astrology, I think you just didn't look at the persona charts to get a better insight in your placements, do it sis please

People with a developed taurus mars or other placements have such a healthy relationship with food. If they also have a 6th house stellium they will really care for their body and health in general

If you have leo personal placements, you probably had a bad relationship with your hair when you were little

People with 6th house stellium + sagittarius placements have beautiful skin on their legs and body in general (fairer than in the face 😭) and get compliments a lot but also suffer from skin diseases if bad aspected

Moon conjunct ascendant is a good synastry aspect for non platonic relationships 💕

Look at the venus in your mars persona chart, you probably have a great chemistry with people who have the venus or mars on this sign in their natal! (for ex: person A has aquarius venus in their mars pc and person B is an aquarius venus in natal)

You probably feel weirdly attracted to the ethnicities you've had in your past lives.

North node conjunct descendant (in a platonic relationship): the nn person will help descendant person to get together with their husband in a way depending on the sign. ex: if it's in aquarius, it's through social media and probably a long distance relationship

South node conjunct ascendant: past life connection for sure!!!

That's it for now, have a great day guys! I'm so happy today... I'm sorry if I focused too much on past lives but I learned so much about it and I was really excited to share it here 💖 I'll probably be uptading this post sometimes

[court-jobi]

hi! i love your works so much!!! i was wondering if i could request a hawks x pop princess f! reader?

like he does security for her groups concert and hes like “pffft im number 2 why do i need to be here”. then he watches her during sound check and is like okay i need to know more about her. so while shes getting ready hes just hovering backstage trying to talk to her. after the show she finally gives him her number (def against her companies wishes) and hes like trying to be suave and flirty and shes like “oh my god why is this working”. just a lot of hawks being a lover boy and sending gifts to her company anonymously and cutesy stuff like that lol. they have to keep their relationship a secret bc her company has a very strict no dating unless we agree rule. can be pre or post war hawks btw! you can take this wherever you want with it as well! can be nsfw or not.

im sorry that was so long! i was trying to make sure my thoughts were coherent lol.

Ooooo I love this idea so much, what a lovely dynamic to picture: a fanboy Hawks for a change, perhaps?? ~ this was a fun one to work on! @strwbrrykthv i sure hope this one was worth the wait and that I've done it justice!

You all are seriously the best readers a gal could ask for, and these requests are ✨giving me life✨~ Keep 'em coming!!

Who Has the Mic

Words: 4.3k

Rating: T

Warnings: Pro Hero!Hawks x popstar fem!reader, forbidden romance, flirting, mostly FLUFF, mentions of canon-typical threats, protective instincts, Hawks is a little shitTM, we love him your honor

for my My Hero Academia Masterlist, check it out here!

Read on Ao3

Hawks falls prey to a special thrill out of extending favors to others. 

‘I owe ya one’-- such a simple nicety that in the beginning, he doubts anyone would truly come to collect on it. It makes him sound agreeable, charming, starved for connection even before the height of his inevitable fame. 

Then he rose and rose in the hero rankings, securing himself into the very visible and wildly popular top spot, in terms of viewer popularity. 

It’s now that the redemptions of Hawks’ pro-hero favors have come rolling in… The unexpected keeps him on his toes and entertains him for the most part; and if it’s all for the sake of protecting others, then why not have a little fun with it? 

Once upon an overbearing press conference, back when he was first tiptoeing into the public scene… Hawks begged a makeup artist on staff for a spot to hide out in the green room and sneak a snack or two (or ten). He was granted pity for a teenager expected to take a seat at the table of an albeit boring Commission presentation. Well, it seems that particular makeup-artist rose within the talent realm themselves, and ended up reaching out to “that flyboy kid” back for a surprising accommodation: 

Top tier talent warrants top tier security.

Hawks takes a call at his agency and soon finds himself ushered in for the Tokyo opener of the reigning top-of-the-charts pop star with a voice of gold. The first meeting of old acquaintances led the Pro-Hero to tour the brand new, sky-high facilities, then return for the load-in day of the stage. Again for first dress, and each night of the week-long residency.

He carries his presence on the stealthier side, far above the stage floor in the scaffolding. Up here, lights are rigged with steel supports running every which way, where he executes perfect balance while walking in a straight line atop them. He’s checked -double and triple- that each outlet is free from hazard, each line of multi-ton equipment has been secured and safe, so that even his ‘adventuring’ from up high is not a risk.

He’s happy for the variety of work he faces as a hero- but right now, he’s bored. He shouldn't be feeling so dreadful, especially on the job, but he is. It’s not his style to be so down, after all. But Hawks has checked into every nook and cranny of this place and for the sake of an understandably hypervigilant security team, has an eye for which points of entry and exit could use a bird’s eye view come showtime.

His muscles are used to far more fast-paced antics and time-sensitive chases; not traipsing around like a literal vulture ready to swoop in at any moment. Surely he’s needed elsewhere.

But the threats have been rolling in… as they do for all of these larger-than-life musician types who found their way into the spotlight. They’re at risk of going in blind if they don’t have a good team around them to help them see.

So here he is, playing guardian angel to do his part and make sure all goes smoothly. It's a big operation by his count; there’s sixty members on the tech roster, plus the venue stage manager and their contracted staff, then all performers, and of course the headliner. Now where she is, he’d like to know– for not so selfless reasons.

He’d know her music by heart, given how much of an earworm and personal anthem her songs have become for him. It’s rare that the tables are turned, where Hawks is the fanboy and someone else is the idol. That dream is his dangling carrot for completing this mission successfully: he has the most sought-after bodyguard duty in the nation, and as good as a front row seat to her show.

Yet in a weird sense, Hawks also kinda hopes he never meets her. Doesn’t want to crush that bubble, ruin the allusion of the woman he’s got set as his ringtone.

So, he just runs his headcounts on all bodies supposed to be present at the top-of-show meeting to busy his mind. All is in order. ‘Cues’ are rounding up the pre-show acts, each in plainclothes for this rough stumble-through. Still doesn’t see the little starlet yet, and he gets the residual feeling that this might be typical behavior of ‘the talent’ to show up whenever she damn well pleases. 

Though funnily enough, he spots a pretty thing down there sporting some Hawks merch! Always nice to see a supportive fan in the most unlikely places… 

It's a well-fitting quarterzip sporting his red feather blades down each arm, an item he vaguely recognizes from this season’s newest launch. She’s got headphones on and subtly bopping about in her own little world, perhaps running through tonight’s set under her breath, if her self-contained taps of the fingers are an indication of her keeping beat. 

Hawks’ curious attention to that girl on the fringes of the stage is pulled when he hears the strict timbre of the stage director he’d met on day one take center stage.

“Ok, time to rein it in. As we covered in the email from Sec-Eng- which I’m assuming you gen-z’ers have read,” the bossman snarks to the younger members of this crew down below, “we’ve got some additional eyes in the sky pulling security for this leg in the tour. So, I want to give you all a chance to get your excitement out -along with your thanks- to our equally chart-topping hero, Hawks~ who’s… somewhere around here.”

Hoodie girl blanched– as if she’d been told she’d need to share her internet history to her grandmother. Immediately, she tosses off her headset and starts frantically stripping herself of the jacket she wore. While enthusiastic heads all fly around in every direction in search of the hero, Hawks chuckles at the sight of her alone. 

“...//Well, he’s probably checking the perimeters anyway//. How bout we all just send a big thank-you, eh?”

The couple of ‘Hoodie’s fellow dancers were poking fun at her -poor thing still flushed and clammed up- while the group gave a loud, singsongy ‘thank you!!’ up to the stage doors, assuming the Pro-Hero might be busting in, grand entrance fashion on command. The love-laden response from the dancers makes Hawks roll his eyes lightly, but he appreciates their praise all the same.

They giggle about in jazzed excitement with one’s voice carried out squealish and feminine, despite their professional assembly,

“Oh my god, you must be in HEAVEN!! He’s gonna be watching you ALL NIGHT!”

‘Hoodie’ looks downright mortified. The others have seemed to gather around spouting nothing but encouragement to this little fan girl who's doing her best to put on a poker face. Adorable. 

“Now we also need to make some edits before the crew breaks for lunch, everyone, so we are gonna start today with opening of Set 5 instead- hold.. Hold on… WHO HAS THE GOD MIC??”

The mics table scrambles for the one handheld microphone with omniscient audio range to the house. Surely it's the one thing they wouldn't lose and should hand straight to the Stage Manager, right? 

Well, said mic was sitting unattended there on the cart earlier… all for the Winged Hero’s taking when he was making his preliminary sweep earlier. 

From his inner jacket pocket, Hawks catches his lip in his teeth as he remembers where to turn the thing on. Once his throat cleared and the mic blinks red in sync with the soundboard, he amplifies a little trademark bird whistle: for each and every soul in sight to hear. 

The stage erupts in excitement, as planned. ‘Hoodie’ immediately teeters over to one of the props hideaways and stows said jacket away. 

Hawks chuckles with the mic at chest level– only to call her out from his perch,

“Saw that, dear~”

Seems logic caught up with the poor thing, as she -finally- pieced together the true vantage point of her idol’s presence, and looked up. 

Sparing her too much embarrassment, Hawks simply cocked his head on a folded up fist and gave a little wave of some fingers to her. 

Despite her clear shock and surprise, she did smile brilliantly back and gave a little signed ‘thank you for being here’ rather than a scream like all the others.

The stage manager followed her line of sight to where the hero stands in wait, ready to dismount and return his bit of cheekily stolen equipment. Despite some bewildered aggravation to Hawks’ antics, he gestures with the exhaustion of a high school teacher.

“There now, see kids? That's how you protect your voices before a show!! Better than belting your way to the doctor’s office. Our star here sure leads by example now doesn't she–” 

In rare form for the hero, it's Hawks’ turn to be stunned. His fangirl: it’s you.

Everyone else may be calling that first call time your lucky day… but you were intimidated to the point of feeling ill. Thank goodness for your poker face; because locking eyes with Hawks’ stunning crimson canopy and giving you that wink and a grin about sent you into a heart attack. 

You're starstruck. The absolute heartthrob of an idol you revere as your favorite Pro-Hero has been standing over 150 meters above your head, watching for every sign of danger that could threaten you for the last week. 

That near guarantee of safety would trump your fleeting nerves– if you hadn’t given the first impression of a closeted fangirl like you did!!

Nothing short of awe crossed your mind when you so much as think of the hero. A very vocal fan whenever he came up in the news or your social feed amongst your inner circle. Hawks is a household name for you, who you were incredibly fond of… both in how he handled massive crowds or charmed in intimate, one-on-one interviews. 

You know the role; you suck up for cameras, too, as it's all in the optics. But for every PR-guided response you know is crafted by easy-going smiles or a disarming tone, you remember to see past the spectacle of Hawks and look for ‘him’. Remove the wings and hero getup: who is he? Can you spot the tells on camera like your mom can when she watches you? No matter how big of a global phenomenon her baby girl gets, she can still tell when you have a headache while having to give an appearance on a talk show. 

The man you spot on screen has to have a series of faults and slips. Even battle-ready heroes put their shoes on one at a time– just like everyone else. He’s sure to have a favorite lunch spot, a favorite pen to use for autographs, a favorite singer, even… 

Surely not you, but a girl can dream.

There’s a glazed-over glint in Hawks’ eyes when he very subtly checks out when being spoken to which gives you the strong suspicion you two may not be so unalike. And that list of little mannerisms has grown exponentially– with every day that's passed:

Hawks has difficulty staying still, you've learned. He’s also much younger than people assume. Carries a crafty habit of popping up unexpectedly in a way that’s youthful– and borderline cheeky. From atop a stack of amps, to a crowdless green room, to the rigging of lights where you've stunned the crowds for the last four nights, he’s perched out of sight from your thousands of fans. 

Though each little comment thrown here and there in praise has floated down to your ears in sweet jest, things come to a head when the last night of your show arrived: where the crushing realization sought to dampen your mood. 

After tonight, you wouldn’t have your angelic, crimson-winged shadow anymore. 

But Hawks surprises you once again. 

You nearly miss it, too, once your final round of ‘surprise songs’ is revealed and you are snuck down to your assigned hideout to get ready to leave the venue. It’s back in your can-lit dressing room that you’re making double takes down the hall looking for any sign of your security team; especially the one to whom you owe a hefty ‘thank you’ to for all his efforts.

-but as your half-redressed form has donned your beloved Hawks hoodie once more, you’re not so spooked to hear a familiar whistle from behind you this time.

Headphones slung back down around his neck and wings slimmed down to a more presentable manner for tight hallways like these, Hawks slips into your prep space with a speedy uptick of steps. A knowing whisper to ‘shut the door fast so no one notices’ eeks out of him, eliciting a smile from you.

Each one of your suspicions are confirmed with that one comment alone; he knows this game well. Still, playing along with his dance of keep-away from any prying eyes (or cameras) doesn’t mean your heart isn’t  hammering away in your chest at the knowledge of getting your hero all to yourself.

So here, Hawks traipses around your makeshift room with unbidden interest– which, for such a small space, is cute to know how many little details pique his curiosity. Your various outfits still hang all facing the correct way, your personal backpack sits beside it on the end featuring your mess of pins and collected patches from the locations you’ve toured thus far. The run schedule is still taped on the wall, and below it, your laptop has your notation software open and idle onscreen.

“Well, now,” Hawks chimes in with a little crouch over the back of your empty chair, “Surely I’m not looking at our next chart-topping hit in the making, am I?”

“Maybe!” you chuckle, joining his side to quickly save your work before you forget. “It’s getting the lyrics and melody to marry right that’s the hard part. Working out the latter right now, and it’s kinda kicking my butt.”

“But you’re doing it! Look at all this– wait. Is this what you were dancing to earlier?”

Damn his powers of observation. You’d been testing out the rhythm of the hook this week– when you’d been caught under his attention.

“...M-maybe?” you hedge again.

“I knew it-” Hawks beamed, “A stunning starlet and a mastermind. What can’t you do?”

Flattered beyond belief, you answer honestly, 

“Keep myself outta trouble with my managers. Trying to, at least,” you close the laptop to conserve its power, “but between the shows and speaking engagements, it’s left me a bit starved for time to actually make the music.”

“N’why would writing get you in trouble?”

“It takes me away from all the other things I ‘have to do’,” you sigh easily. “They can bring in anyone to make the music and keep pitching songwriting teams to me to take the load off. Just think something’s gotten a little out of balance.”

Without meaning to, you held Hawks’ attention– enough to make him sit back on the armrest of your couch and listen with undivided attention while you explained your creative process more. While most J-Pop performers would be thrilled to have outside writers create the work and easy into a performance schedule with pre-set work to learn, you loved to have a hand in the writing process too. As an art form, it’s personal when you have to perform season after season. 

You’ve chatted quite a bit here and there over these last several days, though not this extensively. He was interested in so much about this whole operation, to the point where you wondered if he’d ever met any of the performers who you knew presented at some of those hero galas he went to. Apparently not, by the way he’d lock onto your every word when you spoke. Either your timekeepers (or his) would inevitably interrupt you, so back to work you two would fly off to.. though you’d seem to circle back to one another and chat about anything and everything if given the chance- little spurts of talk that always left you wanting more.

He’d commiserate with you on that front as well– the balance of stardom and freedom. Bogged down by meetings and public appearances wore on him just as much as you. With every roadblock you described about your recent album development, Hawks nodded along with expected understanding. 

The revolving issue of personal safety might have brought him into your employ, but you know more and more cases like yours filled up his day-to-day life in ways you couldn’t imagine… but he even shed some light on that as well to you. He’d burst the bubble on hero work as an industry through little asides with you offstage: comments he’d likely get reprimanded for if he ever spoke them in a public statement. 

But you’d keep his secrets safe. What happens on set stays on set.

So even now, as he’s tucked himself into your dressing room while you puttered around chatting about your true dreams of getting a new concept album wrapped by the end of the year, Hawks tuned in with genuine interest that only made your heart skip a beat for him more.

“I haven’t always gotten the time to work on it lately… though this week, I’ve had a clearer head to be in here rather than under lock and key with a security force breathing down my neck– which is largely thanks to you, Mr. Hawks.”

“Oh please,” Hawks scrunches his nose and teases, “Mr. Hawks is what the lawyers call me. Just Hawks is fine!”

You exhale, squishing back any girlish outburst from your voice at how fussy he looked. 

“All the same, thank you for your help this week,” you pressed, “It’s -uhm- not often I get to meet my favorite Pro Hero on the job…”

A pleased smirk lifts Hawks’ cheeks, though you spot a funny kind of shyness in them when he studies your sleeve rather than look you in the eye-

“Favorite, huh?” Hawks smiles, “ n’here I thought I was the lucky one, sweet’eart-” he taps his headphones for emphasis, “One day I’m listening to you on repeat on my morning commute– and the next, I’m standing two feet from you!”

“--You’re kidding.”

From his pocketed phone, Hawks challenges you with a press and hold on the speakers to boost the volume as high as it could go. Faintly, you caught your own pop vocals from your second ever album casting from Hawks’ headphones. 

You can’t believe your luck– he’s really a fan? Of yours?

The mix of sentimentality and surprise must be palpable on your face as you grasp exactly which song has Hawks spellbound before he cocks his head with a sheepish grin of his own, 

“Believe me now?”

Words fail you, but you shudder out a little giggle that speaks volumes. He tests with a smile,

“Soooo guess you wouldn’t mind if I asked a horribly stereotypical favor and snagged a selfie while I’m here?” 

Eyebrows shot up to the sky as Hawks dangled his phone between you, you immediately pause. No one on your Communications team is still backstage (to your knowledge), but the engrained warning about checking your professional list of partnerships before posting comes to mind… annoying as it is. All you want is a pic with him, too!

“Nothing for socials-” Hawks assures you with a gloved hand, “If your handlers are just as pesky as mine, they’d never let me live it down. Just– something to keep me grounded, on the hard days.”

That reasoning… it almost broke your heart just as quickly as your potential disappointment had been earlier. 

With a knowing smile, you nodded sweetly to Hawks- he’s charming in a whole new light to you.

“Only if you send it to me too, hm? Favor for a favor?”

“ ‘Course!”

Sliding up into his open space, Hawks clearly knows his best side but keeps you right in the center of his shot. That smile he makes… you are going to keep this proud glint in his eye and sight of his hand around you locked into your mind forever– even if he forgets to send it to your insta handle after this. 

It’s too brief of a moment, watching his wing curl around you though the phone’s front-facing camera burgeoning you close, head tilting gently against yours. Keeping a close-lipped smile seared into your mind when you think of him now.

Then in an even more lightning fast moment, while he’s fussing with a weird flip of his bangs, you reach to tap the shutter as you sneak a kiss onto his cheek. 

He’s stunned by the move, but by the even brighter muted smile, you stand by with pride double checking his photo gallery that the shot made it. It surely did. 

“You have a hard job, Hawks; harder and more dangerous than anyone I know,” 

You step away casually.. Though the need for distance is more for your sake than just optics of your forwardness. 

“... Thought you deserved more than one lil selfie. Hope that’s ok?”

“H-okay?” Hawks breathes out, studying his camera roll with reverence, “Better’n ok..”

Outside a muted feedback from the PA system is calling for Exit team to assemble– get staged for your departure from the venue at last.

“That’s me. Better bounce-” Hawks piped up after a small clearing of his throat. You’re nearly too shy to look at him after this-

-but when a kiss greets your hand, lifted imperceptibly fast and squeezed just as fleeting as his words grace your ears- you couldn’t look away if you tried.

“- a pleasure, dear.”

And before you can utter any further word of thanks or manage something other than a shocked smile, Hawks slips out of the room and off to hand the reins back to your team. You can barely hear from the still-live walkie talkies that your security detail is back at their regular stations, and your Pro-Hero is off for his final step of his hired work. Soon he’d be relieved of his station and off to save someone else from an unsavory fate.

He doesn’t forget to send you the photos; and you now have his private insta handle.

The photo where you snuck a peck onto his cheek would be set as your internal screenshot if it weren’t for your niece’s constant borrowing of your phone when she visits you on set… 

But now, you’re back for a month-long stay at the studio– your reward for a successful first half of the Tour.

Encouraged by your protective muse’s spark at the thought of your new music, you decide to take that energy back to Chichibu. Your headphones might as well be glued to your head, with how much you’ve head-dived into your sound mixing apps and sampling library. In fact, it’s that unwavering attention to your music that you nearly miss the most obvious sight walking through the lobby of the unassuming recording studio. Almost.

But how could you really– when the largest floral arrangement you’d ever seen is gracing the reception table? That stunning piece looks like it costs more than the linoleum flooring the desk sits on. 

A few aides have been distracted by the sight, studying the typed message attached and racking their brains for any sign of a calling card. One of your cutting room techs was currently rounding the base of the standing arrangement for some tucked note, which made you giggle how intently she was studying the thing. 

You know the sound booth manager best out of this group of other visiting accompanists,

“Lucky, lucky girl~” she reels you in excitedly, plucking the card from the other’s sights and handing to you directly. “Sorry to say there’s no hint who it’s from… but it’s for you, little bird!”

You hedge at the pet name once again– the nickname stuck unwillingly not only for your melodic talent, but the association with your clear celebrity (heroic) crush. 

However, as you read the note, the immediate assumption that this may have been another gift from a venue host was thrown right out the window…

This was a personal gift:

To keep my genius company while she makes her magic~ No one can give us the stories you can; don’t ever  let them take your voice. It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve heard. Can’t wait to hear the new demo!

“No matter how high or low I am.. a piece of me will be here with you. It’s- where I'd rather be... Till next time…”

“Next time? Wait, who sent these again?!”

“It was just the delivery guy, from that really flouncy place downtown~” the receptionist answers with interest.

“Nooo, I mean on the card! Who signed the card?

“There's nothing– no initials, nothing..” you confirmed, still reeling over the message. But as you trail off over the cascade of tropical flowers, the flecks of red blooms catch your eye and bring you to study harder. 

Then- tucked under some deep green curls- a spot of red hides. A quill amongst the mossy padding of the arrangement- not unlike a surprise found in a nest.

Sifting through under the guise of feeling tender petals, you grasp the soft, downy feather which bears a small post-it flag on the underside with a sequence of numbers on it. 

“Do you have any idea who?”

Balling it carefully in your fist just as quickly, you answer, “Couldn't tell ya. But the pop of red sure is pretty, isn't it?”

In your booth -set up with your sticker-laden laptop and butterflies in your stomach- you hold the sticky note in one hand, pinching the crimson feather precariously in the other. 

Face warmed and unbelieving of your luck, you think on what to send first to your mic-stealer…

To be continued?

[northrnfool]

Here’s my take on Lokius, because I’m seeing a lot of posts with people saying they just see friendship there.

You’re pointing out a key ingredient in a good love story: it is a friendship at it’s core. As my girl Scully once said on The X Files, “Well, it seems to me that the best relationships - the ones that last - are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship. You know, one day you look at the person and you see something more than you did the night before. Like a switch has been flicked somewhere. And the person who was just a friend is... suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with.”

A real love story is about connection, trust, reliability, communication, bringing out the best in the other person. And Loki and Mobius tick every one of those boxes off. Also, the chemistry is off the charts, so that definitely helps.

When I look back on Loki’s history, on his relationships (and he’s probably the only character in Marvel that I’ve cared about through the whole MCU run), he’s never had someone who is capable of keeping a cool head around him, of consistently not falling for his tricks, who’s seen his entire life and has compassion for him, who not only doesn’t see him as a villain but actually sees the best he’s capable of. Who is capable of actually building trust with Loki - TRUST! Loki actually trusting someone and being trustworthy back! Someone who can calm Loki down with a touch (a lot of touching, actually. Wow) and a few words. Who is willing to put his own life on the line because he believes in Loki. To sum up, Mobius is everything that Loki needs in a partner. And Loki, in return, brings the spark, the push to find the truth, the desire to actually live, to Mobius.

Even going back to a comment I made a few days ago: On Our Flag Means Death, Stede asks Mary what it feels like to be in love and she says, “It's just like breathing. He understands my idiosyncrasies. We expose each other to new things, new ideas. And we laugh a lot. We just pass the time so well. I'd call those things love.” I see all of that in their relationship.

So… yeah…. I very much doubt Marvel will make them canon, but I really don’t care. There’s a beautiful love story there, no matter what.

[lakesbian]

i like the early worm arcs so much because it's so interesting to see what the undersider group dynamics are like before they entirely reorganize around taylor. and by interesting i mean they make me explode and die (positive).

i think what it boils down to is that the undersiders sans taylor aren't really friends, but they are each others sole replacements for every single support system and human connection they're missing, and that's actually Significantly More Intense. they do all vary in why they're on the team (that is, in why they all have nowhere else they can go), which, alongside their general personalities, impacts the precise mechanisms of how they relate to each other. undersider relationship charts are very complicated diagrams.

brian is on the team because he needs the money to keep his sister from being entirely fucked over by the system (i.e. jailed or kept with abusive parents or in shitty foster care), and i'm sure there's an extent to which it makes his situation as a 17yo with terrible parents far more livable as well. it was pointed out on here earlier this month or the last that we don't really know anything about what his civilian identity is like--we see him interacting with taylor out of mask, but we don't know if he has, like...friends? or family he keeps in contact with outside aisha? or if he does anything with his free time other than trying to prove himself to be a capable guardian for aisha or improve his odds as grue?

and i think the reason we don't have answers to these questions are that brian (civilian) is a mask, too. grue isn't the side identity to an otherwise rich and detailed life--the brian we see speaking to the foster worker in the apartment is playing a barren role. he is 17 and concerned about getting new placemats for his apartment and sorting out school districts for the child he wants to adopt. that's not his normal, unfiltered self, that's a role he's completely stepped into because he'll see himself as a failure on multiple levels if he doesn't fill it. there's no way he has casual friendships or anything along those lines as civilian brian, because civilian brian is plastic. civilian brian can't be a real person, because people have broad ranges of emotions and experiences, and civilian brian is just supposed to be the platonic ideal of a stalwart and responsible family man. there's a reason why the foster worker observes that his apartment is devoid of personality. civilian brian laborn's life is a motherfucking ikea stock home.

i think the most genuine brian ever gets is when he's in the liminal space of the loft--not brian (goodboy civilian mode), but not grue, either. it's only when he's removed from both the obligations of the act he has to play as a civilian & the violent professionalism he takes up as grue that he's able to be a Kind Of Normal Boy. it's where he actually has work-friends to banter with, it's where he plays video games, it's where he gets to go on his dorky rants about martial arts. aisha & the other pressing concerns of everyday life aren't there, so he doesn't have to be Responsible about them--but he's technically still at work, which he attends for the purpose of helping aisha, so he can escape from beating on himself over letting his roles drop. he still intermittently engages in the Brian Behavior of being a little control freak, but also, he playfights with alec :)

which is an extremely compelling dynamic to me...he's not even particularly Close with any of the undersiders, but he's known them for like a year and a half, and they're a space where he can be far more genuinely relaxed than he can anywhere else. which is what makes it so incredibly sad to witness when aisha joins the team & now brian's entire life is about trying to fill that ideal of masculinity he's cramming himself into under the misguided hope that it will protect/care for her. he's breaking under the stress of trying to be a good leader, and he can't admit that the stress of the role is entirely self-imposed. he can't set it down because he won't let himself set it down. it leads him to become condescending and unkind to alec--someone he used to play video games and playfight and banter with--in the same way he is to aisha :( brian laborn my sad boy in torture chamber of his own making. i will write about lisa alec and rachel's situations in other posts to keep this one from being too long

[babyspacekwid]

Some of my Astro placements and how they manifest

Chiron 4th house:

This placement talks of a wound surrounding the family and home, and well, I would often search for a home because no where to me felt like home. I still feel misunderstood and out of place, BUT, I have made deep and valuable connections that have helped guide me and make me feel the love I should have had. Not to say this placement is completely hopless, it’s beautiful and it’s real and it’s tough, but you come out stronger. I use to hate that fucking perspective too. Like okay??? Who gaf if I come out stronger I’m fucking suffering, like why didn’t I get the parents everyone else has? Why’d I have to walk on eggshells? I felt like my anger and sadness was invalidated because I didn’t feel strong. I felt worthless and disorganized. I was a mess and I still am. Idk if that’s ever gonna change tbh, but despite all, it’s true. You DO come out stronger. In every aspect I have. Home is your people it was never a place, home is your mother cradling you for the first time in a while, it’s your friends taking care of you when you’re sobbing. Home is your dad realizing his mistakes and apologizing. Home is a feeling, it’s refreshing and comforting. Home was never suppose to be stressful, or feel like a war zone. To whoever has this same placement I feel you and I love you.

Mars in Aquarius in the 5th house

I do things unconventionally and I only realize this when I’m with other ppl. It can be as simple as the way I eat my burger, to my taste in music. Which is everything. I like literally everything. I don’t care the genre. If it’s good and catchy I love it. I did a lot of different hobbies as a kid too? Like taekwondo, dance, soccer, painting, singing, writing. But I never stayed long in any of those hobbies. Loved anime which ik everyone likes these days but where I live and during my childhood it was still a bit taboo or considered weird to watch. I was the kid that got along with everyone at school too. I didn’t see the point in highschool having a social hierarchy of popularity. It’s fucking stupid. I remember this one kid in my class who everyone thought was weird, which from their perspective I understand because he liked to talk about taboo topics that everyone thought was outrageous, but I was enjoying conversing with him because his perspectives were fresh and built my own views and opinions. I also have a 5th house stellium and I just fucking hate anything that isn’t fun like. I can’t do the 9-5 I have to enjoy my life like this society was not meant for the way my brain works istg.

Lilith 8th house

Constant comments were made about my body when I was young. From good to bad to what the actual fuck are you saying to a 12 year old. No cause it still happens and I’ve learnt to deal with it, but it has greatly affected how I view myself, my sexuality, and my comfortability with it.

Sun and moon in Gemini

I got the worst of both worlds wtf is this?! Considering my chart is 60% air signs you’d think I’d be use to it but I’m notttttt. I try to stray away from the stereotypical “Geminis intellectualize their emotions” but it’s true we do, but I think it’s cause feeling our emotions are overwhelming. Geminis ARE emotional. There’s just so much going on that my brain decides “I need a solution to this now cause feeling is pain” also hate that I’m not consistent. Consistency is my worst enemy, it doesn’t agree with me and my behaviours and we have an ongoing tense relationship, so I don’t finish anything. Not the books I wanna write or the paintings I wanna finish. Working on it tho 😭

Jupiter in Leo in the 11th house

I know so many people, and the friends I’ve made feel like my soul family. We’re siblings at this point. (Also rlly love the spotlight. What can I say I’m an attention whore)

[ashwhowrites]

FD part 4

I am very sorry for how long this took to come out. I hope you guys love it and was worth the wait. As always, I love to see your reactions so feel free to tell me what you thought!

Eddie called and called. Leaving voicemail after voicemail. He was panicking, and he had no idea what to do. He knew that if this moment ever came, he'd be screwed. And here he was.

It didn't take long for the media to find out, and Eddie felt it was leaked. And he knew by who.

They were on the cover of every magazine

"Biggest couple in the world called it quits! But why?"

The fanbase was split, some on her side and trashing Eddie's name. Some on his side believed she was the issue, and that's why she was never public about her relationships. Eddie wanted to come clean right away, but Zack refused to let him.

He said letting the fans try to figure it out would bring more attention to them. But Eddie didn't want anyone turning on her, but Zack believed it would impact Eddie's fame. And Zack only cared about Eddie's career.

~~~

He hated that he had no way to get in touch with her. He wanted to apologize over and over. He wanted to find any type of way to fix the mess he got himself into.

Just as Zack hoped, Eddie's name was in every magazine. A week has passed and no one has even seen Y/N. Paparazzi outside her house, just waiting for the second she walks out to capture how she looks in the breakup stage. But she hasn't made a sound. She hasn't been active on social media, everything on her end was silent.

Two weeks and the media was craving her side of things. Her fans begged that she says something about what happened. Her management team wanted her to speak of what happened, clear her name, and end Eddie's career.

She didn't want to end his career. But she was an artist, and artists show their pain through their work. So, she released a song.

She wrote every emotion she felt, sang with all the betrayal on her mind, and sent the record out to the world. She felt happy with the way the song turned out. She didn't care if people liked it or not. She didn't care if Eddie heard it and was upset. She wanted to take back all the power she lost.

He wanted her because of her famous daddy, she took the title and made it her own.

It didn't take long for "famous daddy" to reach the top of the charts and for everyone to talk about it. The media loved the drama. Articles were written about what each lyric meant and the exact way it related to Eddie.

~~~

Zack was on cloud nine, the exact reaction from her that he was hoping for.

Eddie on the other hand was suffering. He hated how different everything was. The song they made together was so in love and happy. All of that disappeared in her new song, and it made his gut turn.

"Perfect! The pop star has released a break-up single, definitely leading to a breakup album. All the songs will be related back to you. That keeps everyone searching your name and keeps everyone connecting things back to you. You know what we have to do now, right?" Zack asked

"Apologize publicly and leave her alone?" Eddie questioned, but he knew that wouldn't be the answer. It would be the right answer, not the one Zack was looking for though.

"No! This is the perfect time to get you in the booth. Writing the break up from your point of you. She called you out, she embarrassed you, and truthfully, outshined you pretty damn well. She has the power to make the media believe what she wants, we need to reverse that."

"That doesn't make any sense! Reverse what? She sang about the truth. She talked about falling in love and having it all be a plan. She talked about being used for her daddy's name. Everything she said was real, you expect me to make it seem like she's lying?" Eddie couldn't stand this man. But he easily found out the truth about what being famous was all about doing anything to get your name ahead.

"Stop with that nonsense. She's a fucking girl singing about how her boyfriend broke her heart! She's releasing the same shit everyone else is. You are the man, you come out and sing about your side, and everyone always believes the man. You write about how she's lying, she's throwing your name in the dirt so she can come out on top. Every boy who has ever been wronged by a girl will love the song. They'll relate to you. It's you versus her, and you are going to win."

"So she can hate me? So all her hard work is easily thrown to the side all because a man said she was making shit up? Do you not hear how fucking ridiculous that sounds? She has had this career for years, she worked hard to keep her reputation real and that's exactly why she hid away from relationships. You want to take that all away from her?"

"Eddie, I am your manager, I don't give a shit about her. I'm hired to make you a star. I got you the contract with her dad, which he can't get out of no matter how much he hates you, I got you at the top, I got your name known. Your constant arguing about everything is really pissing me off. Write the fucking song, record it, and we will release it."

Eddie watched as Zack slammed the door behind him.

He stared at the notebook in front of him. Countless songs were written about her, but none that villainized her. If Eddie ever got the chance to make it up to her, and he wrote the song, it would take any progress he made.

It was his career or hers.

~~~

Y/N knew with the release of a new song would cause even more drama. But she was tired of being played and being hurt. The release of the song was the first thing that made her smile in days. She felt a sense of comfort when people shared her song and their story. For once, she wasn't alone.

Her management dealt with endless calls, begging for interviews. At first, she wanted to say no, not bother to give him any more publicity.

But if he could use her for her name, why can't she suck his name out for her own benefit?

She had a performance set for tomorrow and an interview following. As she sat in her make-up chair, she hated how sad she felt. Almost like preparing to actually sing the song live, reminds her Eddie did truly break her heart. It wasn't a song she made of random characters, it was her and her pain.

"Y/N? Ready?" Her dad came in, a sad smile on his face. She knew he felt bad for her and he hated that he was stuck in a contract with the boy who broke his daughter's heart.

"Yeah," she breathed, standing up as she checked herself in the mirror. Eddie wanted to use her? Fine, she's going to ruin his career.

~~~

"EDDIE! COME HERE!" Zack screamed, turning the volume up on the TV as Y/N began to sing. Eddie felt like his heart froze on the spot. There she was, looking beautiful as ever. Makeup done to perfection and her hair framed her face nicely. Her face looked soft and angelic. Nothing like the bitterness in her tone as she sang with anger and betrayal.

Eddie felt his stomach drop at the guitar she was strumming. The same guitar they wrote their song together on. The guitar used to have pictures of him in the neck, but now broken hearts filled the empty space.

"Been fantasizing and crying, been romanticizing

About all these boys who ain't never gon' like me

I don't know why I thought it would be different this time

Thought you'd be the one, but you're one of those guys

Can only blame myself, I made it up in my mind"

Eddie hated the sad look in her eyes. Hated that she blamed herself for simply liking a boy. Blaming herself for falling for his lies and tricks.

"See! You did Eddie boy! Here she is singing live, broadcast all over the world, singing that she thought you were different. Maybe we'll put you in acting next." Zack snickered. Eddie hated the way Zack had zero empathy for anyone. Y/N never let the fame get to her, she was real and always felt everything she had with every emotion.

"I guess devourin' all the power is all you've ever known

You're sittin' on an empty throne

Do you get off from holdin' me from my potential?

Are you scared that I might bruise your ego?"

This is the first time Eddie allowed himself to listen to the whole song. He was a coward, and he was scared to face her. He was scared of what she felt and how much she hated him.

He wished he could explain that everything he felt with her was real and that he wished he never made the deal with the devil next to him. He didn't want to be alone, and he hated knowing he was at the top from stomping on her. She was suffering at the bottom while he basked in the glory.

"Thinking of good lyrics?" Zack asked, watching as Eddie stared intensely at the screen.

"Yeah. I got the perfect song in mind." Eddie said with a smirk

After her performance, she moved on to the interview. Eddie was curious as to what would be asked and how she would answer.

The interview started relaxed, the interviewer was polite and asked about Y/N's career and upcoming work. Then moved on to the reason for the song.

"Is it true that you and Eddie broke up because he was using you for fame? The fans believe your song paints that picture. Any thoughts on that?"

"Well, I think the title speaks for itself. But yes, we broke up because he was in it for the name. If honesty means telling you the truth, I mean." She laughed at the end, and Eddie felt his cheeks heat up with embarrassment. The world knew he was a shallow asshole, but he deserved it.

"Were you ever worried about that? Or had suspicions?"

Eddie wanted to shrink in his spot, remembering how desperate he was to lie to her and have her believe him. How he made her sound crazy for thinking he was out for blood.

"Yes, in the very beginning. I am suspicious of everyone and funny enough, he was the one that made me realize that. When we met he said he had no idea who I was, so I believed him. He didn't look at me like he knew who I was, almost like he was trying to see in me, see the color of my soul. So I thought he was different, he gave me a million reasons to believe it. All his reasons were lies."

But they weren't, and Eddie wished he could get her to believe that. But he lost his place to make her believe his words. There was no trust between them anymore and he was to blame for all of that.

~~~

Eddie focused on writing the perfect song, something that would grab everyone's attention and make her curious enough to listen to it. It was the only way he would get her to talk to him.

Eddie recorded the song and sent it out before Zack could stop him. Eddie wanted to write his side, and his side meant admitting his guilt and regret.

The media jumped on immediately, dissecting his lyrics and quoting them on social media. He smiled at some of the reactions, people still hate him but he was happy he got some respect back from her fans.

" HE ADMITTED HE WAS IN LOVE! @Y/Nmusic!!!!"

"HE QUOTED HER. HE WATCHED THE INTERVIEW"

"Why do I forgive white men so easily? This song has me hoping they make up"

The buzz would catch her attention, he knew it would.

~~~

"Find it hard to say I'm sorry

But I'll make it up to you somehow

I guess we lost our focus

And it's killing me that we could go to war like this

But I'm standing here with you just tryna be honest

If honesty means telling you the truth

Well I'm still in love with you"

Y/N hated that she listened to the song. She hated that her eyes stung hearing him say he was in love with her. She wasn't sure if it was another lie to make sure he looked good or not.

Her fans were quoting his song with their comments. Her feed was covered in him and his stupid voice. She felt bitter that everyone was quick to forget all the pain he caused. She needed to remind herself too.

"will you tell me anything I wanna hear to control how you're perceived?"

She hit the post with a small smile. Fans already blowing up her post and putting his name in the comments. He was quick to dm her and she felt scared to open it. She blocked his number so she could avoid his words, knowing she was too weak to stay away.

"Nothing makes up for what I did. I will do anything I can to show you that I want you over any career. I'm sorry and my feelings for you are real. I am in love with you, I was since the start and there were so many times I wanted to tell you the truth and save you from the pain I knew that would come. I've been selfish. It's time I show you that I want you for you."

She felt herself typing before she could stop herself. "Want me? You say that as your manager writes you a big check. A career that would be nothing without me."

"How can I prove this to you? I will leave the label altogether if it proves that I want you way more."

Y/N stared at the message, leaving his text on seen as she shut off her phone. She didn't know what to think. Did she love him? Would his leaving prove anything to her? Could she even believe that he would do it?

Her head snapped up at the sound of her tv-

"Eddie Munson has dropped his management team and label with a tweet:

"I'm picking the girl. Fuck my management and the label"

Tags!

@lolz-0110 @gaysludge @hmcmlfcyy @omgvirtualcupcakecollection-blog @bibieddiesgf @holyheadharpies99 @bakugouswh0r3 @cloudroomblog @emma77645

@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @slightlyvicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @tlclick73 @hargrovesswifee @cityofidek @manyfandomsfanvergent @silky-luxe @lokiofasgard616 @loving-and-dreaming @eddiemunsonsbitch69 @thegemaqua @ashlynnkennedy @strangerthingsstories5255 @harringt8ns @pleasinghellfire @whoscamila @stusdollface93

[akria23]

Sharing my Investigation charts before Ep6 comes out. (Images best seen on desktop rather than mobile)

The first page is relationship lines & the mystery arc notes for the each group. The rest are my suspect theories.

These charts will likely drastically change as we go along.

NUTH: Is the obvious choice because he's the character the writers are pointing all the obvious clues and behavioral tendencies at. It makes it feel too easy. Granted - I know it feels too early to reveal the killer (if there is one) at this point but it’s not unheard of for a writer to reveal the killer early if there’s another aspect they want the audience to focus on (the kdrama Beyond Evil is a great example of this). He could be a lower level lackey (secondary) in the killing or he could actually be an all out red herring.

PROM: I look at Prom through 2 separate theories - the one where he’s on a revenge arc & this one where he’s the killer. The thing about Prom is he’s incredibly sus, there’s so much mystery around him, he’s so measured in how he speaks, what he holds back & he always feels like he’s in the know ahead of Nont.

Even if he’s not the killer it feels like he’s hiding something of great importance or has his own motives going on. The way he interacts with Nont comes off as if he knew about him before he revealed himself. Let’s take the wine for example - when he offers Nont wine in the room he says it’s cause he thought he’d changed enough for wine…but he also offered Nont wine the very first night they got together at Playboyy - and this was intention cause he himself was drinking brown liquor but gave Nont wine rather than beer (which is what Nant) likes. - he’s NEVER offered Nont beer. So it wasn’t due to a shift after Nont started acting differently than Nant around him. He inserted himself into the investigation and then started to lead the investigation from behind by pointing Nont in the direction he thinks he should go.

Where I lose confidence in this theory is in the motive. I doubt he would’ve killed Nant in a possessive rage the way Nuth might have - he’s too calculated & represses his emotions. Even with that bout of jealousy with Nont he didn’t push the issue, instead he revamped excused affection instead. Prom seems to be the type that finds a way to do what he wants no matter what others may have wanted. There’s a possible drug connection- through sell rather than through use. Again there’s the intones of the invisible force, the behind the scenes mover and I could very well see that being Prom. It seems like a lot of guys in Playboyys are on drugs but would Prom really need to push drugs if he’s the Host of the club? His need for it is what I question right now rather than his ability to push it.

There’s always a question for every answer and maybe that’s why I have two separate theories about Prom & don’t feel fully comfortable yet saying which I think is more correct.

NOBODY: There is obviously a possibly that there is no killer, that Nant wasn’t killed by another. There’s the possibility of suicide - Nant had been under a lot of extreme pressure and lack a good support system. Mental disorder (split personality) - this one is rather popular but I have trouble wrapping my brain around the photo of the twins cause it would mean dying his hair, taking a photo and then photoshopping two pics together…just feels like there’d have to be some level consciousness for that. Or Nant could b hiding out, on the run, from a debtor - considering he was supposedly on drugs and had a previous issue (with Soong) it’s possible.

PORSCHE: This is probably my loosest theory built mostly from the bias I have against Porsche. I don’t know what is but I don’t trust him, I don’t like him. But all his violent and brattiness could boil down to an inferiority complex rather than murder and I know that but he still makes the cut cause everything about him rubs me wrong and I wouldn’t mind him be the bad guy (def if it’s in the stead of Prom 😭)

[k-rising]

Sunghoon's birth chart analysis

DISCLAIMER: This is just a part of the analysis of the idol's natal chart, which wants to show a deeper perspective on the idols life. This analysis is carried out thanks to the data that appears on the birth chart. The point of this post is to entertain. [This idol hasn’t confirmed his birth time, so I used the standard 12pm time to calculate his natal chart].

sun & mercury = ♐︎ / moon = ♒︎ / venus & mars = ♏︎

sunghoon has both his sun and mercury in sagittarius, which makes him a very optimistic and funny person. he loves learning new things and having new experiences. also, his philosophical side might come to light from time to time when you less expect it. he's quite spontaneous and likes living in the moment.

he's a rather shy person that once he gets comfortable with people he opens up slowly. having his moon in aquarius makes him an observant, idealistic and smart person. however, he should be careful not hurting other people's feelings, cause sometimes his sense of humor can get him into trouble. sunghoon is unpredictable and prefers being alone rather than spending time with other people. this placement also makes him very stubborn and egotistic. sunghoon is very independent and doesn't need to be accepted by others to feel good about himself.

it's hard for sunghoon to express his emotions openly and he may also experience a clash between his feelings and what he wants in a romantic relationship with his moon square venus and mars.

he can also experience a lot of deceptions with his moon conjunct neptune, mars square neptune and venus square neptune. I think that sunghoon tends to put some people on a pedestal and expects certain things to happen with them… but when things doesn't go the way he wants it he gets sad.

regarding his scorpio venus, this makes him a very passionate and loyal person with the people he really cares about. this also applies to his hobbies and everything that he's passionate about. sunghoon likes getting to the heart of things and doesn't give up easily. this man in loyal once he opens his heart and can become quite possessive and jealous with his partners; he just likes being in control. sunghoon wants to know every little detail about other people, but doesn't want to reveal much about himself. this man seeks for a mature and long-lasting relationship where both parties can also have some time on their own. he wants to be in a relationship where he can be able to grow along with his lover.

sunghoon also has his mars in the sign of scorpio, which makes him a strong willed person, like I said earlier. he doesn't get easily angry, but when he does he can be very scary... he also has a hard time forgiving once he feels betrayed. for him, it's key to have an emotional connection with his crush to be able to get intimate with them.

‧͙⁺˚･༓☾　𝑇ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑘 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑠𝑜 𝑚𝑢𝑐ℎ 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔! 　☽༓･˚⁺‧͙

[botanicalsword]

Mars-Venus Aspect • Synastry

It is the observation based on my experiences - If you have different opinions, please share them with me. I would love to hear them. ♡

❥❥❥❥

Fire / Fire ✧ Sunkissed with light and love, by the golden rays radiating above.

Water / Water ❦ It sunk beneath the waves, though the burning passion never fades.

Earth / Earth ✧ Its fiery beauty emerges from the golden sand, transpires in the hue of gold and feisty red

Air / Air ❦ Bathe in warm and sweet grace, soul lifted in a higher place

❥❥❥❥

Photo credit : @le.sinex

Venus is drawn to Mars' confident and dynamic nature, finding their energy and drive appealing. They maintain a harmonious balance between their masculine and feminine energies.

Venus possesses a deep understanding of Mars' wants and needs, often prioritizing their partner's desires over their own.

Despite being ethereal and beautiful, Venus is willing to compromise and put their own needs aside for the sake of their relationship.

Water Venus tend to drop subtle hints, allowing Mars to take the lead in the relationship.

Although there is physical attraction between them, Venus values their friendship with Mars above all else.

Venus patiently waits for Mars to share their stories and experiences, relishing every detail.

Mars can be possessive at times but never to the point of being overly controlling.

Venus is especially attracted to Mars' enthusiastic and energetic approach, which creates excitement and adds to the romance.

Mars picks up on Venus' subtle hints and patiently waits for the right moment to act on them.

Their relationship inspires them to grow and evolve together, fostering a healthy and positive energy between them.

This makes for lots of fun and great romance.

•┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈•

Houses show areas of life impacted and aspects describe the effect and compatibility.

To determine if the connection will work, consider the full chart.

Masterlist @botanicalsword

[tower-girl-anon]

Hi. What are your favorite placements in a composite chart? Thank you.

Hello!! Apologies for the delay, hope you are having a good week! Here are some of my favorite aspects in composite:

Aspects to the Moon, especially the Moon-Mercury link, the Moon-Venus link and the Moon-Jupiter In general, having good aspects with the composite Moon will be beneficial to increase the affection, love, and emotional support of the couple. The first link mentioned could bring a telephatic connection, or a relationship that can oppenly talk about their feelings, while the second link bring a nurturing connection filled with love, and the third one a passionate one. The fourth one brings optimism, playfulness, cheerfulness, and a sincere need to make each other happy.

2. Aspects to Mercury (any aspect).

Aspects with Mercury in the composite could potentially increase the duration of the relationship. Why? Because communication is our basic tool to conect with people and see how compatible we are on a mental level along with seeing if both would have the compromise to talk to each other of their needs and interests.

Now, for me, the energy of Moon and Mercury are one of the most crucial points in a composite to see a potential relationship unfold for the long term. In relation to the rest of the planets and signs, I don't have a favorite since those energies will have a different impact on every person. For example, one of the best aspects to have in composite, according to many sources, is a Sun and Venus aspect (especially conjunction, trine, and sextile) because it grants a natural and genuine affection and love. Since I love to read astrological testimonies, I've found that some people with this aspect never felt something significant as many blogs say, so it's up to, not only the aspects and placements of the composite, but also how it touches each others natal charts to see how the relationship affects each other individually.

Having said that, I will add some things that I like to see in a composite chart:

The aspects and placement of asteroid Alma This asteroid could indicate what type of past life or past lives you had with your person. What you went through in the past. If it touches the personal planets of the chart, Vertex, the Axis, South Node, or North Node, it could indicate that you had an important or significant past life with that person.

The aspects and placement of asteroid Amor/Agapenor/Valentine These asteroids, if it makes aspects to personal planet, could increase the chances of developing love and affection towards each other. We must still consider how the primal planets affect each other, but these asteroids could increase the chances of love.

[northopalshore]

Hello, hope you feel ok now (just read about ur caution back then).

I'm show you that composite chart cuz I want to ask about the unique shape that it made, Will it give other perspective rather the aspects and overlay read?

Please note I'm not worth for your reading, so no need to do that cuz I just want to ask someone who more understand about it. I'm sorry cuz maybe if it disturb you for your schedule posts (please, no need to answer it if you to busy). Thank you 😉

Ps: that's not my chart so I'm not really known their real dynamic relation but it's really interesting how the on/off situation happen.

Hello! You don't have to be so humble lmao I never meant it like that.

Aspect patterns are quite interesting to look at, because in a way, it sort of gives you an idea of what the individuals are like in the relationship but not really as much as other aspects. It can also tells you more details about certain aspects. My favourite to see is the grand trine. A perfect, symmetrical triangle with a planet occupying every 4 planets in the same element.

For example: You have Chiron in the 1st house of Sagittarius (fire) which normally means that you'll struggle with body image, but if it forms say a grand trine (blue lines usually) to Venus in the 5th or Jupiter in the 9th it's likely that you'll receive a lot of support form those areas to lessen the burden you feel in regards to your appearance i.e have a more positive, and understanding mindset to overcome it. You are also more resilient.

Grand trine

In this chart however, I'll just point out the obvious one to explain.

What a grand cross looks like: it's not in this chart though.

There's a double opposition but it doesn't form a grand cross which usually makes the planets/houses they're in rather tensed or uneasy (because they're originally oppositions with squares added). Depending on the planets involved it can cause significant issues and hard lessons within the relationship.

In this case the cross (crossing oppositions) involves hard aspects between Saturn-Mars & Neptune-moon, but soft aspects between Saturn-Neptune & Mars-Moon. There could be a lot of clash between expectation and reality when it comes to this relationship. Perhaps both dreamt of it lasting in the long run but because of their own personal goals, feelings and general incompatibility it's just not looking too good. They'll find themselves getting frustrated over the smallest things when they're together. Intense connection that works in their head, but not realistically. Not to say they're hopeless however.

The spike

It's formed by two planets being sextile to one another, with a third planet being exactly 150° to the other two points, or quincunx.

Can be a pretty good thing to see although it depends on the chart. It can show you where the relationship can manifest itself or its potential,or where it can be difficult to manoeuvre but not as commonly observed, at least to me. Also referred to as yod. Look at the planets involved and where it's pointing especially if there is a cluster of planets in one house/sign.

Also, that 8th house stellium (a.ka cluster) is also probably a huge part of that on again off again cycle as it's the cause of that karmic pull. You hate them, but you want them, they love each other but they want the other out of their life lmao. Both likely have some sort of karmic debt to repay together.

Hope this helps!