#i need to do a fanfic stat

[ilovemesomevincentprice]

Vincent Price and Mark Damon

The Fall of the House of Usher (1960) dir. Roger Corman

[sillybar]

decided to start watching Lioness in an effort to escape my obsession with tragic lesbians only to be forced to obsess about more tragic lesbians but in a new and very specific way

*cries*

[scottstiles]

I LITERALLY JUST SCREAMED WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?!?!?!?!?!?

[sparkles-and-trash]

Just sent in the first BIG draft for the project and with everything going on rn I am just ON EDGE about this idk what to do if this goes really badly 😭😭

[reggie-black-is-my-gender]

It’s has officially been a little over four hours since I’ve been adrift at sea (Ao3 has been down) and I can see land (my sanity) slipping farther and farther away

[elfwreck]

I have a friend who isn't anti-porn but it makes her sad that fanfic has a reputation for being porny and usually not very good. I'm fine with both those things and my views mostly align with that of AO3. I disagree with the idea that porn and badness are treated as equivalent, but for most people that's just how they think. But I was wondering if youve ever written something about this?

There is a lot of smut at AO3.

There is a lot of bad writing at AO3.

There's a lot of badly written smut at AO3.

...None of those are problems except for the people who think there is something wrong with those existing, or that there needs to be some external value that "balances" those that make those acceptable to exist as unwanted side-effects of "the good stuff."

The badly-written smut is also "the good stuff."

It's part of the reason AO3 exists. It's not intended to be an archive for "the high-quality fanfic that could be published if it weren't about characters that someone else wrote first"; it's an archive for "what fanfic writers want to write." That makes the terrible writing and the tacky porn and the badly-written tacky porn part of the reason the archive exists.

Tangent 1 (I'll connect these points later): Theodore Sturgeon said "90% of everything is crud." He was more-or-less referring to the science fiction field in the 50s, but it definitely extended to politics, business, and writing outside of science fiction.

...He was talking about published books in the 50s. Turns out, a lot more than 90% of writing is crud when there aren't any gatekeepers between it and the readers. But also:

Tangent 2, from the book "Art and Fear":

[A] ceramics teacher announced on opening day that he was dividing the class into two groups. All those on the left side of the studio, he said, would be graded solely on the quantity of work they produced, all those on the right solely on its quality. His procedure was simple: on the final day of class he would bring in his bathroom scales and weigh the work of the “quantity” group: fifty pound of pots rated an “A”, forty pounds a “B”, and so on. Those being graded on “quality”, however, needed to produce only one pot — albeit a perfect one — to get an “A”. Well, came grading time and a curious fact emerged: the works of highest quality were all produced by the group being graded for quantity. It seems that while the “quantity” group was busily churning out piles of work – and learning from their mistakes — the “quality” group had sat theorizing about perfection, and in the end had little more to show for their efforts than grandiose theories and a pile of dead clay.

You don't get to "quality writing" without going through a lot of crappy writing.

That doesn't mean the crappy writing is garbage to be thrown out. If you make 50 pots or bowls or vases, and only one of them is The Good One... most of the rest are okay. Maybe not sale-quality good, but your-kitchen-table quality good. Maybe some aren't that good and are kids-toy-in-the-sandbox level good.

Bad writing has a purpose for the writer: they can use it as practice to get better. It has a purpose for the reader: It can serve as inspiration ("I can do better than that") or grammatical instruction ("that...does not work; why doesn't that work?") or just as entertainment ("eh, so it's missing a few commas; I can still understand it").

Smut and porn writing works the same way. It's of some value to the writer, and some to the readers.

It's not of value to everyone. That's what tags and filters are for, and why there's a summary and list of stats (like word counts)--so you can figure out if you're one of the readers for whom this piece of writing is useful or interesting.

But AO3, like any library, is not there to take the top 5% of Excellent Writing and provide it a showcase. It is absolutely for all 50 lbs of pots.

If your friend wants to read the good stuff, there are rec lists and collections to help her find it.

If she already manages that, and is just annoyed at how much of the not-good stuff (however she defines that) exists... she's picked the wrong battle. She's arguing with the ocean that it has too many kinds of fish and some are poisonous a lot of them are ugly.

[autistichalfblood]

🩷🖤Unfathomable🩷🖤

On March 8th 2023 I got a job as a public school English teacher and I couldn't do anything else, I barely even had time to sleep.

On April 29th 2024 I had to quit that job because I was having way too many anxiety and panic attacks and my health (physical and mental) was declining. I am a diagnosed autistic person who just couldn't handle it anymore, I was teaching 16 different classes, working 9 hours every day, the only English Teacher for over 500 students.

I'm now trying to find my balance again, looking for the safety of my special interests, one of them being Wenclair, hence why I'm back writing my fanfic Unfathomable.

I am rereading what I have already written and doing some small updates (mostly sentence structure and stuff like that) and after I finish up with what is already posted, I will go back to writing that!

It might not be updated in consistent, quick manner when I go back at it, because I need to avoid too much pressure and stress but I'm so fond of this pairing, they keep me company when I'm lonely because I have no friends and no one to talk to, and they actually teach me some things and help me understand others.

I would love to ask any tumblr mates, wednesday/wenclair fans or otherwise, to check my fic out and let me know how I can improve my writing (you can comment there on my fic), I honestly think that interacting with other human beings in a classroom is too much for me and writing has always been my love, so I'm gonna follow that path now.

Fanfic: Unfathomable

Pairing: (Wednesday Addams/Enid Sinclair)

TV SHOW: Wednesday (Netflix)

Link: Click here to be transported to AO3.

---

UPDATE:

Chapters 1 & 2 were already fully checked, edited and updated.

Chapter 3 is OUT NOW!!!!

Stats:

1 kudo away from 2150!

479 hits away from 17,000 (woow!)

20 comments away from 100!

[stars-in-a-jam-jar]

I loved Buddy this episode. Exactly the energy I love to see. He remains Completely Mostly-Deliberately Fanatical, but to the point where even the people who coerced him into joining their new religion are like 'You're!!! Doing it wrong!!!!' And Buddy's just like 'I have faith in Bakarath :)' I love him, I love that for him, I love Buddy Dawn so much, please don't die, Buddy, I just wanna have you floatin' around being a silly little uses-his-high-wis-stat-to-deliberately-fail-all-insight-checks-on-himself guy forever.

I wanna see Buddy at the end of this approach Fig like a little lost puppy asking her about Ankarna, but not in the soft explorative way that Bucky is curious about Kristen's relationship with Cassandra, in a way that's like 'I've been in a right tumble dryer lately and was wondering what exactly The Correct Worldview to attach my entire soul and sense of self to is.'

Want him to be a complete mess most of senior year as he keeps looking for new things to attach himself to. Every few weeks he changes his style to reflect the new thing he's trying on as a replacement for developing an independent sense of self.

Want him to be three quarters of the way through senior year before he even thinks to talk to Jawbone. That or they've been having mandatory councilor sessions all fall, and it's only as the Moonar Yulenear is coming up that Bucky starts Acting Like A Person for little flashes, where his entire attitude and personality is not some ironclad manifestation of what he believes The Correct Person To Be is, and instead he just. Genuinely loudly laughs at a joke that a few months ago he would've simply given a polite sensible chuckle to and said 'Oh, that's a good one'. He lets his face fall into a bored exhaustion in a class and the teacher asks him if something's wrong and he snaps back to, but it still happened. The omnipresent 'Good God Fearing Boy' persona slipped and he was a bored teen for a second. He tries a heavily caffeinated drink in the same way one might try a beer for the first time and suddenly he's being a little silly twirling his staff around and stumbling over his sentences a little more as his brain whirrs.

He cries and he breaks something and there's this icky complicated cocktail of emotions because getting angry is bad and being upset is bad; he was taught that all his life and then it was proven correct when he was resurrected by a false manifestation of a dead goddess worshipped in her true form by the archdevil of rebellion who spent the entire school year playing mindgames with the bard in Buddy's party who were using him.

But Jawbone keeps saying it's important to feel your feelings, which is a very silly thing of Jawbone to keep emphasizing, because Buddy always feels his feelings, it's not like he just unilaterally fends every emotion off as if it'll be his inevitable downfall. There's The Good Feelings and The Bad Feelings, and The Good Feelings come from The Good Things and The Bad Feelings are temptations into evil he must not indulge. He chooses to identify with the Correct Feelings To Be Feeling, obviously. Because you're supposed to do that. And anger and upset are never correct. It was a lesson he had to learn the hard, painful way because he was a stupid, flimsy kid who needed to see the real truth up close and personal. That's why all that stuff happened to him. Why the Rat Griders were so dismissive of him. Why Kristen was trying to build bridges with him.

So why did he just shatter the mug his grandfather gifted him after his baptism when he remembered how Oisin and Ivy seemingly constantly side-eyed him every time he spoke. At least it felt that way. Buddy's very used to constantly feeling observed, he probably just imagined that.

They're not exactly alive to ask anymore.

What do you MEAN my silly post about how I think Buddy's insistence that Bakarath is For Sure The Name You Guys is cute and funny turned into ANOTHER Buddy Dawn fanfic???

[sotwk]

Fanfic writer interview

Thank you @emmanuellececchi for the tag!! 💖 I've been tagged on this game a couple of times in the past, but I never answered them because looking at my Ao3 Stats just made me feel sad.

Stats are a little better now, and I have thicker skin about it, so here we go! :)

How many works do you have on AO3? 23

What's your total AO3 word count? 72,658

Your top 5 stories by kudos/likes:

Taken (Eomer x OC) *most popular by a large margin!

Greenleaf's Day Out (Child Legolas and family)

The Task of Living (Thorin x Reader)

Breathe (Boromir x Reader)

Dandelions (Boromir x Reader)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Umm. I am shamefully REALLY bad at responding to comments. More often than not, I just don't get around to it! I know that's a terrible thing to do as a writer, because commenters deserve so much appreciation! It is definitely one of my resolutions in the coming New Year to improve on this flaw.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending? The Broken Shield - It's a Thorin fic set during the War of the Dwarves and Orcs, and shows the death of both Elvenqueen Maereth and Frerin, brother of Thorin.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending? I like to think most of the fics I write have happy endings, but I've received feedback about Dandelions being particularly "feel good".

Do you write crossovers? Crossovers are not my thing, BUT I did receive a fic request for one from a friend, so I'm going to deliver it just because they asked.

Have you ever received hate on a fic? Never, thankfully. I don't think my reach is wide enough to attract the notice of haters.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Nope, I leave smut to the experts. M-level spice is the most I can manage.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope, and I can't imagine anyone would want to.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? @scyllas-revenge and I sorta accidentally co-wrote a sort-of fic. LOL. Maybe we'll formalize the partnership eventually. @heilith and I have been discussing a (her)Lindir x (my)OC collaboration for ages now, but we're both so busy offline! I would love to co-write fics, but only with friends I'm confident can tolerate my slowness and focus issues.

What's your all-time favorite ship? I enjoy MANY ships across different fandoms, but none really stand out. On a personal level, I really love my Thranduil x Maereth ship. It means so much to me that I will forever be insecure about sharing it with others, for fear of rejection or criticism.

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will? I want to finish ALL my WIPs and I don't think about ditching any of them. Hope springs eternal!

What are your writing strengths? If you ask me? Worldbuilding and integrating my AU into canon. If you ask others? I've been told I can deliver a decent gut-wrenching piece of prose or dialogue here and there.

What are your writing weaknesses? I am the SLOWEST WRITER YOU WILL EVER MEET. Tons of WIPs. Updates on long fics are a miracle. I honestly question whether I'm cut out for multi-chapter fics, but I keep trying anyway.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? I only do it sparingly, usually using short phrases here and there.

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to? I am chomping at the bit to write for ASOIAF/Game of Thrones/House of the Dragon! I have fic requests waiting for HotD; I just need to get my butt moving on them.

What's your favorite fic you've written? I have yet to write a fic that stands out above the others; I love my fics equally for different reasons.

Bonus: Live shots of me trying to write:

Tagging: @hobbitwrangler @from-the-coffee-shop-in-edoras @heilith @lathalea @missiemoosie

@emyn-arnens @celeluwhenfics @dilettantefeminist @cycas @scyllas-revenge

@cuarthol @entishramblings @lucifers-legions @torchwood-99 @softboiledwonderland

....and anyone who wants to share! I'm not sure which of my writer Moots are on Ao3 or just on Tumblr. :)

[em-writes-stuff-sometimes]

My Work on Archive Of Our Own

Please ignore if me gushing about the reception of my fics is irritating. I understand there are some people who genuinely hate when fanfic writers do this, so I'm putting it under the cut so you don't have to see it!

(And fair warning; if this irritates you and you still decide to click 'keep reading' and you then decide that I am obviously up myself so I deserve a hate anon or several, I need to preemptively remind you that I gave you the choice not to engage. You will be blocked and I shall call you a silly little guy if you do this.)

I also would like to make this an invitation to anyone who wants to share their proudest stats, or a nice comment they got, or even just something they are really really happy about in having written their fic. (No need to click read more, just go for it and use this as your excuse to show some pride.) On any platform!

Gonna tag the following: @lya-dustin @ewanmitchellcrumbs @the-common-cowgirl @the-wonderland-madnesss @marthawrites

@vampire-exgirlfriend @exitpursuedbyavulcan @emilykaldwen @ripdragonbeans @aegonx

Feel free to turn this into a pass-on game, if you like! We should celebrate the things that make us happy, too. ❤️

I've not ever really posted about this because, IDK, I worry about being considered a conceited asshole. I figure, though, that this is my blog and my safe space and if I want to celebrate something I'm proud of then I should be able to do so. Nor am I implying that I believe this is any sort of metric of popularity or superiority, OR that I write for the sole purpose of validation through clicks and numbers. I have very little interest in engaging with any of that rhetoric. NO. It's just a convenient bonus, kinda like how I love my job and the fact I get paid is awesome but not my primary reason for doing it.

Okay, I think I've got the disclaimers out the way? (Can never be too sure with fandom.)

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who reads my stuff. Not only on here, but on Archive Of Our Own, which is more or less a place I consider the Ultimate Fanfiction Site (TM). It used to be fanfiction.net for me, but then their ads got annoying and their content ban gross, so AO3 it is! I've read fanfiction on AO3 since I was like 13, and I still find it crazy beyond belief that my work is not only on there, but that it gets any sort of traction at all.

As a little acknowledgement of something I'm proud of, I wanted to document my stats on my big series, terms of endearment, as of June 2024. It is by and large the biggest project I have ever done, and I've poured countless hours of researching, writing and editing into it.

darilaros (princess)

Words: 48,843 Comments: 254 Kudos: 801 Bookmarks: 111 Hits: 21,971

gevivys (beauty)

Words: 52,147  Comments: 578  Kudos: 2,965  Bookmarks: 490  Hits: 106,019

dōnus riñus (sweet girl)

Words: 58,775 Comments: 660 Kudos: 3,414 Bookmarks: 635 Hits: 141,339

ilībītsos (little slut)

Words: 62,725 Comments: 556 Kudos: 1,880 Bookmarks: 289 Hits: 99,939

ñuhus prūmȳs (my heart)

Words: 104,063 Comments: 1,188 Kudos: 2,274 Bookmarks: 368 Hits: 110,356

jorrāeliarzus (beloved) (ongoing)

Words: 38,451 Comments: 234 Kudos: 454 Bookmarks: 86 Hits: 16,208

That makes for a total of 365,004 words; 3,470 comments; 11,788 kudos; 1979 bookmarks; and 495,832 hits. Jesus Christ.

To everyone who kudos'ed, commented, bookmarked, subscribed or even just clicked on the link to the fic, thank you very much. This series has grown and grown, not just in my head but also in audience. It's given me so much encouragement and support in my writing, and a feeling like maybe I am decent at this? I don't know. I used to write when I was a kid, but I stopped during high school. Rediscovering the joy of it hasn't just been rewarding in terms of having fun with it, but also in discovering that there are people who genuinely want to read what I'm putting out. I've spent a lot of my life feeling powerless and silenced, so this really means so much to me.

I am going to keep on writing for as long as I possibly can, because I genuinely haven't found a hobby as long-lived and fulfilling as this.

Thank you. I'm so very lucky. I'm so grateful. I love you all!

[wehangout]

So, the amazing Calli @callivich came up with this beautiful idea for DVD commentary, fic style, and the amazing questions that go with it. As suggested, I'll be indulging myself while talking about:

Thicker Than Forget. Summary: He blinks at you. “What was your first name?” “Erato.” “Erato,” he repeats. “No need to roll the r.” “Like the muse?” You grin. “Poet, meet muse."

AU. Ian is a poet. Mickey is his recently-corporal muse. They eat an absurd amount of stupidly named ice cream, try to find beauty in things, and fall hopelessly in love.

This was fun! Let me know if you want commentary on any other fics!

Give us some stats - (when you wrote it, word count, how long it took to finish, is it a one-shot/multi-chapter, etc)

So, I wrote this for the Shameless Big Bang in 2021. I couldn’t tell you how long it took me to write (Word is giving me conflicting info), but it was probably my easiest write to date. Word count sits at 30-ish thousand words.

What was the initial inspiration for your story?

It was initially inspired by a novel. I don’t remember which one, but it was either Lament or Ballad by Maggie Stiefvater. The only similarity between that one and mine is that a character falls in love with their muse. The plot itself is very different.

If the story is written from a character’s POV, why did you choose this character?

Mickey. Because it’s almost always Mickey lmao. I did try from Ian’s, but this had to be from the muse’s POV and Mickey had to be the muse.

What was your favourite scene to write?

The smut 👀 if you’ve read it, I hope you understand why lmao

How did you come up with the title?

From the poem, Love is Thicker Than Forget! It fits so well with Ian being a poet and the overall theme of the story.

Are there any little moments or references you hope readers will notice?

I went a little meta on fanfic, fandom, and shipping in this, which was so fun. I think only one person seemed to really notice and mention it, though, haha.

Was there anything you struggled to write? If so, how did you overcome this?

I didn’t struggle to write it, but figuring out how to end it was tough. It took a long time for me to figure that out. When I originally came up with the idea it was for an original story, and did not have a happy ending.

Favourite line in the story?

I’m gonna go with lines, plural, because I have a couple

He kisses you and he kisses you and oh. Oh. This is what they were writing about. All the poets, every word of creativity they took from you … it’s this.

He closes his eyes and continues to sigh sonnets into your skin

Also, the last two lines of dialogue, and, I mean, “Fuck the connection” has to be right up there.

What are you most proud about in the story? (plot, characterisation, dialogue, twist/cliffhanger, etc)

The writing, actually. I’m not a poetic person, none of the poems in the fic are mine, but I’m pretty proud of the poetic nature of the writing.

Are there any ‘behind the scenes’ info you’d like to share - e.g. what’s going on in a characters head in a certain scene or how you came to write a certain line?

So, this is the fic that made me realise I needed to stop taking things so seriously lmao. @captainjowl can attest to the research I tend to do. In this case, every ice cream name was a legit flavour at the time, taken from a Baskin-Robbins website. The mural exists. The flowers and trees in the botanic gardens are flowers and trees found in that exact botanic garden. The hoodie! Taken straight from the Brooklyn Zoo website. The pasta they eat at the North Pond – I used Google Maps to make sure there was an Italian restaurant nearby and looked up ponds in Lincoln Park.

I've since tried to be more chill. Sometimes I fail.

Reading back the story now, is there anything you’d change or add?

I’d make it longer, if possible.

Would you ever write a sequel to this story?

It’s a nice idea, because I’d love to write something pretty again, but I have zero inspiration for it.

Are there any ‘easter eggs’ in your story - e.g. references to other stories you’ve written, a trope you often use etc?

Uh, if you’ve read this and Suncatcher you might notice that I, like Ian and Sandy, have a thing for The Doors.

If you’ve chosen your most popular story, are you surprised by the popularity?

I don’t know if this is my most popular story, but I was definitely surprised by the intensity of the comments I received. It was one time when I knew I’d written something good, but the way it made other people feel definitely took me by surprise.

Anything else you’d like the readers to know about the story?

I love that this was loved. I still go back and read it every now and then and just sigh.

[alleycatchitchat]

Kung Fu Panda 4 Initial Reactions

Just got back from the theater! Here are my thoughts. I'll try to be vague about the plot, but be warned: spoilers below.

---

So I went into the theater with rock-bottom spirits. I had seen the cringeworthy previews, read the disheartening reviews, connected the unsatisfactory dots and concluded that the movie I was about to see would be a nasty dumpster fire of a train wreck. And yet kfp played such a big role in my childhood that I couldn't just stay away. Filled with dread and morbid curiosity, I braced myself for the worst.

And it wasn't that bad.

Don't get me wrong; this movie made some decisions that I HUGELY disagree with. And compared to the other kfp movies, it's undeniably lousy. But it didn't ruin the franchise for me and I actually enjoyed myself in the theater.

Listing off my thoughts in no particular order:

Zhen. She is, to my surprise, a lot less irritating that I expected. The trailers don't do her justice and Awkwafina's voice was a whole lot less jarring than I expected. In terms of actual personality and even backstory, I liked her! However. Let's be honest, her design is shit. She looks like someone's Zootopia self-insert. She feels totally out of place in this movie -- particularly, during the end credits when she's side-by-side with the five (who all have the most beautiful stylized designs). Also, plotwise, WHAT is she doing in this film? Spoiler alert: she becomes the new dragon warrior. Spoiler alert again: yes, this is every bit as random and undeserved as you can imagine.

Furious Five: Were not in the movie. First of all, fuck you dreamworks, how dare you withold my children? My darlings? The loves of my life? Their absence is keenly felt and the plot is emptier without them, and I mean that with complete sincerity. I’m also going to point out the obvious; if there has to be a new Dragon Warrior, and I’m not saying that’s a good plot idea, but if there has to be, it should be Tigress. It makes the most sense thematically and the possibilities are just so good – developing her relationship with Po as he provides guidance, facing her feelings of inadequacy, exploring her connections with Shifu and the rest of the five — I could go on and on. The wasted potential is breathtaking. To be honest, it kinda feels like Zhen was written to replace her(using a hug to de-escalate a fight with Po, anyone?). Fanfic writers, I need a rewrite of this movie with Tigress, stat.

TAI LUNG! He was obviously played for nostalgia and there was no concrete point to his lines or presence. He was also written, if you ask me, pretty out of character. I’m still fuming over the fact that they brought him back and we don’t get to see Shifu’s reaction at all. Again, the wasted potential is breathtaking. When compared with Kai and Shen, who have NO speaking lines, it’s obvious that dreamworks just didn’t want to pay for extra actors. I thought that his acceptance of Po as the Dragon Warrior at the end was super cool, but there was NO lead up, NO meaningful character development to make this feel sincere, and again, it would have hit much harder if Tigress or Shifu were also there or if Po was NOT giving up the title. That being said, I never thought he would appear in a movie again, and I’m happy to have any crumbs I can get. They did a bad job, yes, but they BROUGHT HIM BACK. 

Po’s dads! Their side story was goofy and unnecessary but fun, and I enjoyed it. Also maybe it’s just me but the romantic tension between them is AMPED UP – does Li, like, live at the restaurant now? And they spend the movie acting like the most married couple ever. And when Li bursts into the tavern to rescue Mr. Ping, who looks at him with those starstruck eyes – well. I’m just saying. I think there’s something going on there.

I liked the Chameleon! Yeah, her whole gimmick is a little bit ripped off from Kai, but she’s sinister and greedy and badass, so she’s the real deal. I actually thought she was scarier than previous villains – there was less comic relief, maybe? I can only think of one instance where she’s presented in a comedic light, and even then, the tension just picked right up from where it left off. Which is strange, because the rest of the movie is a lot more lighthearted than previous films.

The pacing was weird. Too fast.

Shifu was cute in this movie. More Shifu please!

The reaction to Tai Lung’s return was WEIRD. It’s obvious Dreamworks didn’t want to dedicate time or effort to what was, essentially, a red herring. But. Plot-wise, it’s SO WEIRD that Po would try to face him with no backup. And the fact that we didn’t get to see Shifu’s reaction AT ALL, ugh. Realistically speaking I think Shifu would try to go face Tai Lung, no matter how “inner peace”-y he is now. Like come on, Tai Lung was his son, for crying out loud! 

The goats at the start? Also weird designs. Feel out of place.

Mantis got married! What the heck? (neutral about this, but it was definitely unexpected.)

In general, the plot was weird. It didn’t feel meaningful and it didn’t quite fit in with the rest of the kfp universe. Storytelling decisions were just plain bad. But as a standalone movie, it was not… terrible. Not irredeemable. I think, if Tigress had taken Zhen’s place, this could have actually worked. But she didn’t, and it didn’t.

So I’m going to headcanon it as fake and just stick to loving the first 3 movies. I don’t regret watching it, but there were huge problems that prevented me from enjoying it to its full potential.

[justwinginglife]

Partner In Crime Pt 1

Y'all I'm doing something different today. In mourning of my character.ai chats with Chuuya Nakahara that somehow got erased I am writing a Chuuya Nakahara fanfic because I'm fuckin devastated all my hard work went down the drain.

"He's in a mood again today, hurry it up, the boss wants us at that meeting stat so get him under control and do it now."

You slowly turn your head to look at the Mafia member who just spoke. Your dark red lips spread into an empty smile that pinches at the edge of your cheeks. "I'm sorry, love, did I hear you correctly? Did you just tell me what to do? That can't be right. Because if you knew who I was, surely you wouldn't be talking to me like that."

The smile instantly drops from your face, replaced by a bone-chilling glare that could scare the dead.

He gulps. "R-right. S-sorry ma'am, I just meant that the boss will have all of our heads if Nakahara isn't at that meeting."

You roll your eyes. "Oh he won't have mine, darling. He knows he needs me. So I'll damn well do what I please. Now run along and tell dear Mori that we'll be there when we'll be there." You flick your fingers at him and he scurries away.

You open the door in front of you and your heeled boots click against the marbled ground as you stride into the room. You easily step over broken glass, knocked over furniture, and scattered papers as you near the center of the room. Without looking up, you hold out a bag and open it slightly, the smell wafting in the air.

Chuuya drops from the ceiling in an instant, landing smoothly at your feet. "Is that what I think it is?"

A genuine smile spills across your face this time. "From our favorite bakery." You pull off your black gloves and pop a pastry in your mouth, seductively licking your fingers afterwards. "Still warm." You wink.

He grins widely and snatches the bag from you. "You sly bastard." He shovels the desserts into his mouth and sighs happily.

You watch him, amused. Then you know you have to get to business. "Mori wants to see us, darling."

His grin disappears, replaced by a scowl. "Mori always wants to see us. He knows I hate those damn meetings. They're always so stuffy and all the other execs are dicks."

You start to rub his shoulders, listening as he complains. "I know, I know, baby," you coo, "But it'll just be real quick and then we can have some more pastries afterwards, kay?"

He sighs. "You're one devious woman, you know that?"

You smirk at him. "Isn't that one of my better traits?" You say slyly.

He rolls his eyes and pulls you closer to him, wrapping an arm around your waist. "You know I can't resist you- let's just get this damn meeting over with so I can have my girl and my pastries to myself."

You saunter down the hallway, Chuuya draped around you, and you finally reach the conference room. You fling the doors open and say "Sorry we're late, dears!" As if you just hit bad traffic on the way to a family reunion. Some executives look up at you, some don't- they're used to you making an entrance, and a late one with Chuuya in tow at that. Some other high ranking members of the Mafia are in attendance as well and when they see Chuuya clinging to you like you're his oxygen, they smirk and chuckle to each other.

Chuuya glares at everyone in the room, regardless of if they're looking at him or not. You pull away from his embrace, grabbing his hand to rub soothing circles onto it, then giving it a good squeeze before letting go.

"Darling, I see Koyo, I'm going to go say hi real quick okay?"

He tenses up, not wanting to let you go but then he scowls and says, "Yeah okay fine, do what you want." He slumps into a nearby chair, already waiting for you to return.

You approach Koyo at the end of the room.

"Better late than never, dear." She throws her arms out to give you a hug.

You greet her warmly. "Ah, you know me, always fashionably late." You wink. "Besides, Mori's not even here yet, all is well."

"I see you got the man-child to grace us with his grumpy presence. What would we do without you to soothe his temper?" She teases.

You roll your eyes. "He'd probably flatten you all in a matter of seconds."

She scoffs, offended at that. She glares at him from across the room and he must feel her watching him because he turns to face the two of you, his cold eyes fixed on her just as intensely. Then she smiles a poisonous smile and calls to him mockingly, "Oh Chuuya darling! How does it feel to be without your owner? Are you just wagging your tail over there waiting for her to come back to you?"

He stands up suddenly, eyes burning and fists clenched.

Oh now she's done it.

"Koyo, dearest," You say in a stern voice, "I think you'd better watch your mouth, love, or I'll have to rethink this relationship of ours."

She scoffs for a moment and then holds up her hands in surrender. "Go to him then." She waves you away.

You roll your eyes and walk back down the length of the room to where Chuuya is standing. He's breathing heavy and his eyes are still trained on her, glaring daggers through her skull. You sigh and grab one of his arms, holding it with one hand, and rubbing up and down with the other. He's still tense but he's stopped looking at her now, his gaze turning towards you as it slowly softens.

"I hate that damn woman." He scowls.

"I know, I know, baby." You coo again as you continue to trace the length of his arm. He starts to relax against you but he quickly clenches up again as members of the Mafia start to nudge each other, laughing and pointing while they watch you try and pacify him. Your usually calm demeanor is starting to slip away as you begin to feel quite irked by everyone in the room undoing all the hard work it takes for you to soothe Chuuya.

"Let's just finish this meeting and then we can get out of here, okay baby?" You whisper in his ear, and the feeling of your breath against his skin draws his focus back to you. He nods once.

You both take a seat at the conference table and as if on cue, Mori walks in and starts to commence the meeting. You listen intently, but you can feel Chuuya's leg bouncing up and down, occasionally knocking against your knee. You reach a hand under the table and rest it on his knee, rubbing in slow circular motions. The bouncing slowly recedes and he places a hand over yours, giving it a squeeze. He doesn't let go of your hand the entire meeting.

Then Mori starts to conclude his business and Chuuya finally starts to relax, letting go of his tight hold on you. The executives start to get up but then you stand and clear your throat, causing Chuuya to freeze as you draw the attention of everyone in the room.

"Thanks for the lovely chat Mori, I'm sure we'll all do our best to do our part for the Port Mafia. Now before everyone goes, if I could please have your attention." You say sweetly, though your intentions are nothing but sweet.

Mori smirks and leans back in his chair, but he's intrigued so he nods at you to continue.

You get on top of the conference table, and slam a foot down loudly, your heel clanging hard against the solid surface, ensuring no one is looking away from you now. "I'm so glad I have all of your attention, I really really don't want you to miss this," You purr.

Then you clench your fists and everyone around you but Mori and Chuuya start to choke. Mori raises an eyebrow in amusement but he doesn't react much besides that. Chuuya however is shocked, his eyes widening at the sight. He has no idea what you're up to.

"I'm sure you all remember what my gift is right? I was thinking you might have forgotten because otherwise you wouldn't dare to gossip so freely in front of me. Need I remind you all that Chuuya and I are the strongest executives in this room? I'm sure Chuuya could've gotten the message across much quicker than I could with his powers, but you know me, I like a good, slow, torturous death. Anyway," You say, releasing your hold on their lungs, allowing them all to breathe again, "I was just hoping that in the future we could all play nice with one another and you could all stop giving my dear Chuuya such a hard time, yeah? Great. Good chat, can't wait to see you all at the next meeting if you're still alive by then." You wink and hop down from the table.

Then you turn towards Mori and hand him a stack of cash. Now it's his turn to be surprised. "And what's this for?" He asks.

"For the damage to your window, of course." You say matter-of-factly.

He tilts his head to the side, peering at the window behind you that appears to be in one piece. "What damage to my window?"

You stride over to it and kick it hard, shattering the glass. "This damage. Chuuya, baby, catch me will you?" You lean back and let gravity take hold of you, dropping out of the window and plummeting through the air.

He smirks and then flies after you.

The wind rustles your hair as you freefall down the length of the building and you laugh, spreading your arms as though you're flying. Then you feel strong arms wrapping around you and your fall slows.

"You really are some woman." He chuckles, pulling you closer to him and kissing your forehead.

"You looked like you wanted out of there fast, and the window seemed like the fastest option." You shrug.

He laughs again, shaking his head. "Damn you're crazy, you know that?"

You poke his nose. "But it's kinda hot don't you think?"

He smirks.

Before you have time to continue with your flirting, your cell phone beeps. You pull it out and read the message. Then you groan.

"I guess if you want something done right you have to do it yourself. Be a dear and drop me off at the harbor will you, love?"

Part two to come!

[duolcier]

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ RULES ݁𝜗𝜚. ݁₊

✧ i strictly only write black!fem!reader. as a black woman, i feel as though there isn't enough representation for us in the fanfic community as a whole and it's genuinely frustrating to me. so don't ever request me to write for anything other than black!fem!reader. there's so much out there that caters to you, but unfortunately this blog doesn't (i'm talking to you, white women!!! love y'all down, though).

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✧ this is a dark blog. my content is nsfw and i do write for eyebrow raising tropes (including, but not limited to, stepcest, revenge porn, dubcon), so consider this a fair warning. speaking of, i do include warnings at the beginning of a post, so you'll never be caught off guard. like i stated before, i'm not responsible for your media consumption. read with caution.

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˖⋆࿐໋ etcetera: me voicing my unsolicited opinions, pics, edits, thoughts, things like that

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DAMN THIS HO GOT A MOUTH ON HER!!! i know stfu

[bleachbleachbleach]

[Bleach 072]

This scene is important to me for the express reason that Hitsugaya was apparently the one to tell Jidanbou about these rules. Because they are friends! We know this not from any in-story interactions but from one line in Hitsugaya's Souls profile:

[Souls 133]

I'll be honest with you, I've never actually read Souls and have never thought about where it ties to canon temporally, but the answer to that is apparently sometime before Hitsugaya confronts Ichimaru.

This amuses me because at this point we know all of five things about this guy, and one of the five is that he's friends with Jidanbou. We don't even know the name of his Zanpakutou (that's the "?" in his stats profile box), but we know he's FRIENDS WITH JIDANBOU.

I don't have the English version of this page, apologies, but basically it's just like, Hitsugaya is a shinigami who comes from Rukongai, he's the youngest Captain in history, and he's currently investigating the Rukia business and trying to bring Ichimaru's shit to light. By the way, he's friends with Jidanbou and taught him the "Rules of the City." (Then the bottom sidebar is about how Hitsugaya treats Hinamori like blood, and wants to protect her.)

Which honestly makes this Jidanbou connection even funnier because Hinamori, the reason Hitsugaya is even in this story and the only reason we know this much about him (through Hinamori's Academy flashback), gets a neat sidebar, but the line about Jidanbou is just thrown in at the end of the main narrative like, beeeeee-tee-dubs!!

I've always wanted to write fanfic about this, but I haven't yet come up with a premise that was actually interesting to me. I assume they get paired up in this way for the size kink, though internal to the narrative that only gets us so far. After that it's like, okay, they're both associated with West Rukongai, so there's that. They're probably both socially ostracized: According to himself, people in Junrinan find Hitsugaya off-putting because of his white hair and his, well, off-putting demeanor; people probably make fun of Jidanbou because he's enormous and speaks with a lisp (though this doesn't carry into the Viz)/doesn't come across as normatively cognitively developed. But I'm kinda like, okay, sure, whatever. The most interesting part about that for me is still that Hitsugaya has a casual friend at all, because what few relationships we do see are extremely not casual. But also BTW Jidanbou!

I still think my favorite version of this relationship is the one where, while Hinamori's been off at school, Hitsugaya casually mentions to her that he's friends with Jidanbou the Gate Guardian, with absolutely zero explanation, as a child might about a brand new ride-or-die friend, as though this were completely normal and natural for him, and that's all that's ever said about it. Hitsugaya is definitely someone who has a mental white paper for anything he's ever done, which is why I find the contrast/discrepancy so appealing.

If my life depended on writing Hitsugaya Jidanbou friendship, though, I'd probably start with the City Rules. Because:

Jidanbou has been guarding this gate for 300 years. We don't know how long Hitsugaya has been living in Junrinan, but we do know he would not have had first-hand experience with any City Rules more than ~35 years ago. Not that you need to go to the city to know the rules, but I think canon Hitsugaya establishes pretty well that he doesn't talk about things he's not interested in or things that he doesn't have personal verified knowledge of. So for the first 265 years, no one bothered telling Jidanbou very much about this place he was guarding (not even his brother). He's a utility, and one that lives outside the gates (FUGAIKUUUU)--also one that's not perceived as smart enough for that information to be meaningful. But that whole vibe is not really Hitsugaya's style, because he loves an infodump--but also because he has a bone to pick with the notion of instrumentality.

If we're making a point of saying that Hitsugaya taught Jidanbou the "Rules of the City" (in quotation marks), we're introducing an interlocutor's specific POV. I'm not saying Hitsugaya's just making shit up for the hell of it, but how important these rules are, why these would be the top 3, what their original contexts were vs. being pulled out like this, and what's a literal municipal code vs. a social more vs. just something Hitsugaya has personal commentary about, are up in the air. What I'm saying is, I feel like these have "a gigai is for eating beans" energy.

At minimum, I enjoy this because this is all information that is completely incidental not only to the main storyline but ALSO to the Detective Hitsugaya B-side. But I love that Bleach is consistently so, so interesting about all these characters and their POVs and the rules that do or don't exist in the world, particularly at these early junctures, where most of what we've heard about Soul Society is from Rukia, and a lot of it we've already seen contradicted; and we'll continue to as the arc unfolds. Who even NEEDS Kyouka Suigetsu??

[stitching-in-time]

Voyager rewatch s2 ep25: Resolutions

Holy crap, I didn't remember that this one was so early on in the show! I thought it must have been somewhere in the middle, with at least a few previous shippy episodes to kind of set it up, but no! We just get dropped into a domestic AU slow burn one-sided pining Janeway/Chakotay fanfic episode right out of nowhere! Alrighty then!

The opening scene of Janeway and Chakotay emerging from stasis pods on a lushly vegetated planet was certainly attention grabbing, and the premise of them having contracted a virus that forces them to stay on a planet which renders them immune to the disease progression, together, until they find a cure, which could take forever, is just... genius level shippy romance plotting. Slow clap for Jeri Taylor, she needs an AO3 account, stat.

So anyway, Voyager leaves Janeway and Chakotay on the planet with a ton of equipment and a little Starfleet prefab house, and she sets to work collecting data to try to learn more about the disease and find a cure. Meanwhile, Chakotay is just like 'guess this is our life now! right on!' and sets to work building furniture to make their little house cute. (To this day, I remember the first time I watched this with my mom as a kid, and I still remember her saying, 'yikes, she better watch out if he starts building a cradle!' and it still makes me laugh, because it's so true lol.) There's a lot of lingering glances from Chakotay toward Janeway, and I have to say, I don't usually notice the orchestral scores of Star Trek episodes, because they're usually pretty dull and soulless, but this one was notably lush and romantic during the planet scenes. Apparently, the composer ships Janeway and Chakotay too.

Janeway, meanwhile, doesn't even notice Chakotay pining away, since she's too busy with her scientific research, and being unbearably cute and enthusiastic about it. She sparkles like a diamond when she gets excited about science, and I can't blame Chakotay for being in love with her for a second, because dude, same!! It's so lovely to see her out of the context of having to present a captainly face to the Voyager crew at all times- she's charming and funny and very human here, in a way we usually only get to see smaller glimpses of on the ship- no wonder Chakotay is going out of his mind pining for her! Of course, it leads up to a very non-regulation shoulder rub (ooh la la!) that even Janeway can't rationalize as platonic, and they have The Talk, wherein Chakotay confesses that he's in love her. I gotta say, for coming out of literally nowhere, Kate Mulgrew and Robert Beltran sell the fuck out of this script, and make it totally believable. Especially in the confession scene- they're both crying, and I'm watching like, fuck you, how dare you break my heart like this?? This romance didn't even exist an episode ago, and now I'm invested?? In one episode!! Give these people Emmys, what the fuck?!

But of course, this being Star Trek, a love confession is usually just there to make us feel angst, because they are far too professional to ever act on it- which of course, they don't here. Starfleet captains aren't supposed to date their crew (even though they totally do- guess it's like the Prime Directive that way- just ignore it if inconvenient!) and most of them are too workaholic to devote time to romance anyway. We don't get any further dialog after the confession and the tearful hand hold. The next time we see them, they're back to the status quo of friendly banter. Janeway, who still hasn't let go of Mark, doesn't return Chakotay's feelings at this point, at least not romantically, though she obviously loves him as a friend. She's still invested in getting back to Voyager, though after the storm breaks most of her science equipment, she starts to resign herself to staying, and it's implied that things might have a chance to develop between the two of them eventually- until Voyager contacts them.

Because meanwhile, back on the ship, the whole crew is distraught at the loss of their mom Captain and Harry Kim pretty much leads a muntiny to get his mom Captain back. Even Tuvok can't argue with an entire crew of dorks simping for their beloved senpai, so he agrees to go get an antidote from the Vidians. The Doctor's Vidian girlfriend Denara Pel helps them out when the Vidians attack them, and Janeway and Chakotay are given the medicine, and rescued from the planet. (I really hope they beamed all their equipment up after them, because that was a lot of Starfleet swag they can't just replace at the next Starbase! Don't just leave it there for the monkey, you idiots!!)

Janeway and Chakotay return to Voyager, the crew are overjoyed to have their mom and dad back, and we know that Janeway and Chakotay, who don't make eye contact during the entire final scene on the bridge, will never acknowledge anything that was said on that planet, ever again. But the subtextual pining will be there for like, ever now. And many, many shippy things will ensue in future episodes, which will feel even more bananas now that I remember that they all take place after he literally tells her he's in love with her! I truly, honestly feel so unbelieveably sorry for diehard Janeway/Chakotay shippers, they really set out to murder them with this, didn't they? I'm neither especially for or against them as a ship, personally- it just sort of exists as a thing that makes me feel a little bit crazy because of how far they took it without ever directly addressing it again. I mean, it's not the first time Trek has done this to us, but it's always so frustrating when they make it a thing, only to never resolve it. If you start a story arc, resolve it one way or another, conclusively, cowards! Being in love with someone you live and work with is not a thing you can just sweep under the rug, especially when the object of desire knows about it! But it's Star Trek, so yeah, they will actually just make us suffer. They've done it before, they'll probably do it again. (Unless Prodigy actually gives us something more substantial than Voyager itself did, which tbh, considering how stellar the writing has been so far, it might actually do! Save us, Prodigy, save us! You're our only hope!)

Tl;dr: An insanely shippy story that literally made Janeway/Chakotay a thing in one damn episode, it actually works really well unto itself, despite the years of torment it will wreak on the fandom. Iconic tbh.