#i need to catch up on cos

[sevenminiaturemonkeys]

a lil strahdanya drawing i did to test out a new inking brush

[sparring-spirals]

loved exu calamity. so deeply and immensely. REALLY fucking love. cr downfall. as a mirror to it. in so many ways.

i promise i wont make 3 million posts until ive watched it properly in full but. well. for posterity i am posting this incoherent message sent live

calamity where we spend the whole time knowing theyre fighting a doomed battle and so much of calamity came down to what do you do when the world is going to end? what do you do when you cannot stop the end? when there is no way you will survive- what do you do, when you WILL lose? wins that are not complete but feel earned.

vs here when success is guaranteed in a way that is awful and terrifying and is like a natural disaster bearing down. Like the inherent horror of. you will win. you WILL win. your humanity unravelling and falling away. this success is guaranteed. your enemies will fall. everything crumbling before you like the force of nature that you are. you win but. do you. do you. does it mean anything.

[b4kuch1n]

simulated earth (it does not matter)

transcript

[ithemyso]

I love you, POC Sherlock. I love you, POC Watson. I love you especially, POC Mrs. Hudson.

[biillys]

hi au where billy and max are child stars

neil auditioning billy for a (soon-to-be) beloved family sitcom as a baby, very mary-kate and ashley vibes, maybe billy getting the role for being the only baby not to cry during the auditions, and then putting him to work from basically day dot.

his mom doing her best to run interference and make sure he gets treated right, only letting him be on set for a few hours a week and making sure either herself or neil is always with him, but the older he grows and the more screen time he gets, the more the show runners and neil try and weasel their way for more time with him.

him turning five and the show airing it's fourth season, his parents marriage being over. his mom handing neil the divorce papers and walking out, then dipping her hand into his earnings (that neil has tied up in his own name) to try and buy them a future, trying to get full custody.

the divorce being messy and drawn out and public, neil having made her out to be the villain, the fans and magazines tearing her to shreds and writing headlines trying to shame her, saying she's a heartless bitch for trying to end her own child's career just as it's starting to take off.

billy getting caught in the middle, the separation and custody battle drawing out for years, him struggling to handle the fall out of his home life coming apart at the same time as the sitcom he grew up on comes to an end.

his life being a fucking mess by the time he turns eight.

having a little bit of free time then, technically being jobless. starting to explore other hobbies and interests now that he has some time and getting more into music and sports, begging for a guitar and a surfboard for his birthday, asking neil if he can join little league.

neil promising him one better, and instead, getting him auditions for disney, telling him the only thing better than playing the guitar, is playing the guitar for disney.

turning ten and being a series regular on an already airing disney show, but the execs and directors being so impressed by him that there's talks of him getting his own show.

part of him being excited, proud, but a bigger part of him being terrified.

being so scared to tell his mom cos he knows she'll cry. she used to run her fingers through his hair to lull him to sleep, hug him close and whisper about how she never wanted this life for him, how she's so sorry.

it becoming official and him getting his own show on disney.

him getting the news exactly one week after his mom walks out for good, his dad having finally won full custody, no visitation allowed.

him feeling sick to his stomach. he never thought she'd actually leave.

he never even got to tell her his news.

it not taking long for the shine of having his own show to wear off, the few things he was excited about starting to become a hassle.

starting to resent it.

hating it.

hating the lights and the cameras and the scripts and the running lines. the early mornings and the make up and the flights and the night shoots and the interviews and the press. hating the way he's always surrounded by adults, never having had an actual friend his own age in his entire life. that all the other kids he knows are pitted to him like rivals, there being always talk about ratings and viewers and timeslots. him not knowing what a friend without it being tied up in publicity and pr.

hating the fact that he has a sister on the show, but his dad and her mom end up getting close, and suddenly he's getting a step-sister in real life.

hating the way max only has to film for x amount of hours a day because she's a kid, but he has to film for longer, and thats on top of everything else he's gotta do, very miley cyrus sharing her schedule during her hannah montana years vibes.

him becoming a household name in his younger years from the sitcom, but disney cementing his fame, him being known by what feels like the entire world by the time he's in his teens.

growing up and getting into shit, experimenting with drugs and alcohol and sex, trying to find any and every escape he can. him and max always being on the outs in private, but being the picture perfect family in public.

neil being a controlling fucker, a true momager, has kris jenner on speed dial.

rebelling in every way he can, not giving a fuck what stories or pictures of him get leaked anymore, the press and public turning against him as he gets older.

his show ending and him expecting to finally feel free, except just becos the shows over, doesn't mean anything else is. suddenly the pressure starts feeling heavier, everyone asking him what he's got lined up next, if he's gonna straighten himself out, if he's gonna finally take his career seriously.

neil riding him, telling him to forget about whatever he wants to do, and do what he tells him to do instead. him having various commitments and auditions lined up for billy already, and billy being ready to end it all.

emancipating himself at age seventeen, cutting off contact with everyone.

going off the rails and living his worst life. catching the headlines and updates of maxine mayfield: now managed by neil hargrove, and shoving down the urge to call her and tell her to run, knows she won't listen to a thing he says any way. he was nothing but an asshole and a spoilt brat no good fuck up in her eyes anyway, neil making sure they never got close.

doing his best to go down the music route, feeling physically ill at the thought of acting again, but thinking maybe music could be the answer. he always liked it better. felt more comfortable with a guitar in his hands or a piano under his fingers than cameras and lights in his face.

the music industry being just as harsh and ruthless as the entertainment industry, him not getting taken seriously by anyone he needs to be taken seriously by, everyones expectations of him being so fucking high that he knows he'll never be able to meet them.

deciding he doesn't give a fuck about anything anymore, his life's never been his own to control or have any say over anyway. signing a five year contract with a well-known label, not writing a single song of his own or playing a single instrument aside from when they want him to trot out an acoustic set, and instead singing words richer people than him wrote and performing show after show after show, flying from country to country to country, barely fucking existing. the songs becoming chart toppers, like they were written to be, and selling out stadiums.

hitting rock bottom.

getting a wake up call from max of all people, her ringing to check he's still alive. him pulling the phone away to check this is an actual call and not a hallucination. putting the phone back up to his ear, asking why she's calling.

her saying happy birthday and billy realising he's turning twenty today.

them sitting in silence for a while before max finally cracks.

her telling him his dad's an asshole. billy laughing. no shit.

them hanging up, but max calling again, a month later, then again, a few weeks after that.

billy being hungover as fuck and having no idea what country he's in, but max is in a new movie, out in cinemas now, and it's a serious drama, it's fucking emmy nominated, so he calls the front desk of whatever hotel he's staying at and asks for directions to the closest cinema and before he knows it, he's going incognito, hoodie on, and watching her on the big screen, and she's so much better at acting than he ever was.

neil must be so goddamn pleased with himself.

too bad max sounds completely miserable everytime they talk on the phone.

he calls her instead of her calling him for the first time, opening the conversation with saw your movie, how much fucking overtime did you get for all those night-shoots?

before or after your dad took his cut?

billy laughs. he can't remember the last time he laughed.

ANYWAY. i was listening to robot by miley cyrus on repeat and!!!! child stars au!!!! them both being worked to the bone!!! hating each other becos they barely know each other cos they barely know themselves!!!! getting through their childhoods battered and bruised, billy coming out the other side first, max finally catching up to him a few years later. them both, one by one, cutting their parents out!!!! max taking the big screen by storm when she grows up, neil frothing at the mouth that he can't touch her money when she cuts him out!!!! billy never signing another contract again after his record deal ends, disappearing off the face off the earth!!!! slight the lucky one by tswift vibes!!!! idk!!!!!

[silverbastardgoldenfool]

best New Year's Eve in forever cos my sister and I fucking FINALLY started watching Interview with the Vampire

[bitchy-peachy]

I really wish that antis stopped using real life sa victims in their shit especially since they tell real life sa victims that we deserved our assaults cos we all handle our trauma differently.

[kazoosandfannypacks]

.

[aenslem]

I come from work to sleep and go to work again, and you ask me why I hate everything

[scoots-canoe]

DB ep 122 thoughts/spoilers..

ok i was NOT emotionally prepared for tien to be in such peril....that smile GGHRGH :pain:

and the other thing. i REALLY wish yamcha could have been the one to catch goku after everything???

like...yaji was debating even showing up... we already know hes kinda selfish but ultimately not a bad guy/can help sometimes .. while yamchas BEEN a friend... he could have actually helped and then yaji could have still been the one to take him back to karinto. a win-win

but he just showed up for nothing like.....💀

IM SAYING.. it would not have drastically altered the plot if yamcha and co. stayed in the plane or whatever and managed to spot goku falling then catch him, then they could have touched down and met up with yaji who could take him back to see karin. then everyone could have helped. like come on...

they havent COMPLETELY wrapped up things there but the piccolo daimao arc is effectively over, goku is already being taken to get patched up, tien is hurt but hes well enough to manage on his own. so theres not much yam and co can really do at this point except i guess take tien to get patched up.

but yeah. piccolo finale was EPIC *but* i was kinda disappointed with this one detail lol. also the fact that pic went through the trouble to incapacitate goku by breaking his hand/feet but conveniently leaving one hand intact. like the fact that the outcome of the fight ultimately came down to that felt a little cheap lol. but at least tien is ok 😭 (oh and goku beat pic that too)

ANYWAY PICCOLO JR TIME !! I already knew he would come after since i accidentally spoiled it for myself looking at a DB episode list when i forgot my place one time (😩). Pilaf lookin ass.

That shot of old couple finding him makes me think of (Grandpa) Gohan finding baby Goku in the mountains.

Also also kinda BS that piccolo could create another mazoku after being drained of power and also killed but whatever. i guess pic jr does look kinda small.

[blocky-tides]

does pearl know that joe was the one who overloaded scar's dumpster and sent it overflowing? get this man a dumpster stat.

edit: a few eps later he does get a dumpster

[hayaku14]

OH MY FUCKING GOD ASKDJDJS WORLD STOP I ACTUALLY SCREAMED

[catfishofoldin99colours]

mmmmrrrrggghhhhhhh slow day

[janamensch]

Sight of the Grave (what Shadow sees when she looks at Xiiki)

[vixendoesstuff]

Uh yeah, hi I just got a question for Monkie Kid fans

WHAT THE HELL DID I MISS-

[biillys]

been flicking between house and er and now i want the billy working at a hospital au's please