#i need therapyyyy

[siren-serotonin]

me last night telling myself i'd go to sleep but i just ended up reading a fluff and angst fanfic about homo skeletons (specifically error/ink) instead

there are several things wrong with me :)

[shamebats]

Me & my load-beating stack of boxes of shit I put away and refuse to acknowledge

[friedapplejuice]

i’m so possessive it’s ridiculous. sometimes it scares me a little. what’s mine is mine and i don’t fucking share. i hate that about myself. i don’t act on it; i’m acutely aware of it and i keep myself in check, but it’s such a strong feeling that it’s hard to beat back.

[fizzsparkpop]

pov you just got caught sneaking into your father’s royal library and he is less than thrilled. you could even say he looks like he’s about to straight up kill you

[nukenai]

Sucks to have to interrupt light teasing about not doing something with "I am dealing with a debilitating medical condition and do not have regular assistance with daily tasks" bc then everyone feels bad and it sucks

[daily-scott-smajor]

top 10 things the mods have said about scott

[widevibratobitch]

ughhhh im like. not even depressed as in im not. actually. sad. im just like. dissociating 24/7 what is going on. 

[endivinity]

my finger is healing slowly, but it is healing. it's got scarring on the sides where the damage was, likely on the tendons there. I still can't straighten it fully, and it still swells over time when I do art. but it's gone on to a silicone splint today! the rigid splint needs to be put on occasionally, and I have to massage it often with this horrid little wire sphincter to try and break up the scar tissue and give me flexibility and proper circulation back. I'm kind of mad that my attempt to fix my sleep disorder and correct my ADHD ended up in this injury that'll likely be permanent like... why did the meds do this. why they bully me. i just wanted to be better :(

i also have to go back to therapyyyy oh boy. turns out when you're unemployed and poorly socialized (autism presenting as social anxiety lol) and settle into minor comforts you start getting real skittish about changing that even though existing in it sucks. I just need to be coaxed out of the hole a little bit

[tripthelightfandomtastic]

It's random, but I always think about how Jake would help you through a panic attack. Or if you're nervous or anxious or something. I need people to be there for me when I'm having an anxiety attack. To hug me and comfort me, and try to distract me. Because being alone during that can be scary. The thought of jake being there for you in a time of need like that. Ugh. He just seems like he would give you the best tight hug. Deep pressure therapyyyy.😫

I think Jake's arms holding me so tightly as your breathing is erratic, and your hands are shaking, unable to keep from crying, would be enough to help bring you some peace. "Hey, hey, it's okay. You're okay. I'm here, baby. It's just you and me right now. You're okay. You're safe." Jake's voice soothes as he holds you tight, his hand running through your hair as he calms you down from your panic attack. "Listen to my heartbeat, remember," He'd remind you as your ear is already tightly pressed to his chest, tears staining his shirt. "Listen to the sound of it beating and breathe in." Jake says as he breathes in deep, you follow his lead and breathe in shakily. "And out." He exhales, and you follow suit, repeating this pattern with him. "There you go, good girl." He praises sweetly. The scent of Jake's cologne and the warmth of his skin manages to bring you down. Your body is so tired that you just want to sit. Jake doesn't let go but instead helps you to the floor as he holds you in his arms, his back resting against the wall as his hand gently rubs small circles on your back. "You're okay, sweet girl. You're okay." Jake kisses the top of your head. "I'm right here."

[lumpiya]

redacted asmr as adventure time quotes !! pt. idk-

—————

angel: so let me get this straight… you’re hitting on me ;)

david: NO.

—————

babe: turns out he’s medically unfit for re-ed. hes got a rare condition called garbage body.

—————

honey: so how long have you had this house?

guy: yes that is true !!! :D

—————

freelancer to kody: hoooo… you’re a sociopath.

—————

gavin: i think acceptance has washed over me…

freelancer: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

—————

lasko: my parents always told me that simple possessions arent the most important things in life.

co worker: word em up !!

lasko: they told me all you really need is a good computer

co worker: amen !!!

—————

lovely: why are you holding your bass up high like that?

vincent: i dont know. i just get better finger action this way?

lovely: but you look like a nerd

—————

ash: thanks for seeing us off guys!

david: yeah of course, its my boat

milo: and we care about him ya dingus!!!

—————

darlin: it means excessive pride of arrogance

lovely: that’s like you darlin !!

—————

vincent: bless this sword fahdur

william: MMMMMMM CHECK PLEASEEEE-

—————

darlin: im tryna get him to bite me later ;)

—————

angel after they caught ants eating their snacks: YA HUNGRY??? ILL EAT YOU. ILL EAT YOUR MOM-

—————

gavin: am i a walking love magnet?

lasko: well you paid the price no doubt. and i wanna have your babies-

—————

sweetheart to the inmates: DO THE SPLITS. NOW DO THE SPLITS YOU MILK LIVER MAGGOT PIEEEEEEE

—————

lovely: you gave me some kind of hostage syndrome !! i. need. THERAPYYYY-

—————

[dwagons]

i need therapyyyy

[desifemininewoman]

ur a Badi behen every Badi behen needs I love youuuuu, your posts are therapyyyy love youuuu tysm🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶

Thankyou <3 that made me so happy bhai. As a badi bhen I felt very validated.

[nerves-nebula]

Oh boy, that last comic really made me sad/pos

As you said, it changes everything and it changes nothing, they'll probably start being paranoid about any interaction Leo and Splinter have going foward

They will look at how happy Leo is to spend time with him and just wonder how he is able to do it, then again that's what grooming does to you. You might hate it, be disgusted by it, be afraid of it and the person but you still spend time with them because you are used to it

Leo has a survivor streak, But it's directed mostly to himself as self-preservation. What would he get from running away? Unlike his brothers he doesn't want to go away from everything he knows and deems "safe" because of how isolated he is from them

He has no friends(Like Raph)or someone who cares for him more than at à very basic level (Like Mikey and Donnie who have eachother and Raph)

He might be their sibling and he cares for them at à minimun because even when he is told how little they should mean to him Splinter also makes them "important enough" that he wants to keep them with him

I guess I just see myself in her but very different because even when I found out what my abuser was doing was wrong I stayed well into adulthood to protect my siblings since my abuser fixation was me(I used to daydream they would one day say I was "too old" but that never happened)

Had to fake I cared and they were very delulu about my feelings and our "relationship" which started when I was a literal toddler, didn't want to endanger my siblings until I got all of us out and they never knew what was going on, I've never told anyone even when the bitch kicked the bucket

And I guess Leo would have been the same? I can't see him opening up because he want to about it, he would rather be in denial than see herself that way

leo WOULD rather be in denial, but unfortunately one of the things his brothers required for them to not abandon him was to work on his emotions. he does talk about it eventually, but not as extensively as some of his brothers. he mostly just acknowledges it and sometimes brings it up if its relevant to current emotions, but most of that trauma is saved for THERAPYYYY BABYYY

GUH I love ur reading of leo here its really fun to see all the stuff you pick up on and how you related to her mindset

ugghghghhh this ask is making me dream about the farm house arc. if i ever get around to it that might be the next Big Comic, or, alternatively, the next Big Fic (after I finish caracal carousel) (which lets be honest at this point its going to take a LOT of time to do)

though I kind of think I need to develop the PLOT/world/background cast more because they would play into how The Boys end up at the farm house. And the turtles fighting Shredder is what makes them work more as a team and get closer as siblings- so i should really get on it with designing shredder and his goals and shit. GUH.

sidenote: I'm sorry you went through that, and I'm glad the BITCH is dead. I know how fucking hard it is to decide between your own safety and your siblings safety and frankly doing what you did sounds hellishly difficult.

[saferplacetohide]

I need Therapyyyy

[spacyacey]

Lays down on the ground. I wish it was August already so I can start therapyyyy. I need a fucking professional to help me dig through this fucked up situation im obsessing over. before my executive dysfunction fails to keep holding me back👍

[passerine-writes]

Silent Sparks - Volt 89

Warnings: More therapyyyy Word count: 2994

Notes: Italics - Tsukare signing Bold italics - Family member/friend signing 'Italics with apostrophes' - Thoughts

Masterlist

Volt 88 | Volt 90

The next day classes dragged on and on, my boyfriend even short circuiting during Uncle Ecto's math class and saying 'start by carrying the yay'. Then before we left for the cafeteria, I saw Aoyama putting cheese into Midoriya's mouth.

I watched closely for a minute to make sure he wouldn't try anything else, but once I saw Iida had it under control, I went to the cafeteria. Denki saved a spot for me beside him, my brother and Kiri sat across from us, Bakugou on the other side of the red head. Sero sat on Denki's other side followed by Mina.

Where's Izuku?

He got trapped talking to Aoyama. He should be here soon if you want to sit with everyone else.

I'd rather sit with you today. Bro talk later?

Bro talk later.

Bakugou watched annoyed, glaring as he aggressively ate his food. Most of the table talked comfortably, bouncing words back and forth, but I couldn't keep up. Everything felt muddled. Denki slowly moved his hand into my thigh, his palm resting up and allowed me to fidget with his fingers.

I glanced at Kirishima and saw him blushing wildly and stammering on and off for the right words. Sero was concealing one of his smirks and Mina looked proud of herself.

Poor Kiri. He got set up.

I leaned around my boyfriend and flicked Hanta, giving him a pointed look. He gave me a guilty smile in turn, knowing he had been caught. My brother threw a grain of rice from his lunch at me.

What's going on?

I can't say anything, I promised I'd keep my mouth shut. I'm sorry.

He rolled his eyes but accepted the answer, knowing how much I took privacy seriously.

"Everything okay?" Denki mumbled into my ear and I nodded, scooching a little closer to him.

"Yeah, might have to go code yellow on one of our friends." I said jokingly, loud enough for Sero to hear and make him pale.

"Oh gods." He laughed out, oblivious to what all had happened.

"You two." I said in the commons at almost midnight, pointing at Mina and Sero. The group of us hanging out since none of us could seem to get some sleep.

"Who? Us?" Mina asked.

"Whatever for?" Sero said with just as much sarcasm, a hand splayed on his chest.

"Upstairs. Now." Sero rubbed his elbows nervously and took the walk of shame up to his room, Mina following behind him while I was in the back. They awkwardly sat down on the bed and stared at the ground. "Why would you two put him in that situation?" I asked.

"Look, it's not as bad as you thoug-"

"Cállate." I said firmly, watching Sero's eyes widen. "I will go full hispanic mother on you right now, he was extremely uncomfortable back there." I said defensively.

"Okay, so, Ei told us that he was confused about his feelings between Bakubabes and Toshibabes, so we figured a nudge in the right direction would help." Mina explained, going on for another fifteen minutes to explain her elaborate plan that she thought of.

"I'm not even going to ask what you just called my brother. The point is, is that Kirishima was so clearly uncomfortable back there. This is something he needs to figure out on his own, I understand where you both were coming from, and I know you both wanted to help, but when it's something like that you need to talk to him first." I explained.

"But we did the same thing with you and Kami." Mina pouted.

"That was different. I already knew what my feelings towards Denks was. You knew my feelings towards him. Everyone basically knew except him somehow. Kirishima is still trying to figure out his feelings and I know you like to get involved with people's love lives. I understand that, but you also need to know when to step back, or at least keep me in the loop so I can help you take a step back." I told her. She slowly nodded.

"I'm sorry." She said softly.

"You need to apologize to Kirishima. And you." Hanta looked at me with wide eyes and sat completely still. "Why?"

"Mina talked me into it." He said solemnly. "She just wanted to help Kiri, so I agreed and asked Shinsou to sit with us at lunch when we saw Midoriya wasn't there yet."

"And you both are very well aware that my brother likes Izuku." I said firmly, stating the clear as day fact. "You also know that my brother and I are both fairly antisocial. We have our comfort people. Yes, all of you have become my comfort people in one sense or another, but for Toshi, outside of family, his main comfort person is Izuku. And I would be willing to bet that he's going to ask me if you guys were messing with him at lunch."

"I'm sorry for not thinking things through." Hanta said softly. "And I'll make sure to apologize to Kirishima."

"Thank you. Now who the hell is blowing up my phone after midnight?" I sighed, taking my phone out of my pocket, fully prepared to see a multitude of texts from my family, or Kiri and Denki texting in the group chat to figure out if this was a true code yellow or if I was bluffing earlier. Instead, I saw multiple messages from Izuku.

From Rayquaza: 911

From Rayquaza: Emergency

From Rayquaza: I'm freaking out and I need you to come to my dorm

From Rayquaza: I texted Hitoshi too

From Rayquaza: I feel like I'm going crazy

"Can one of you tell Denki I'll meet him in his room in a little while? I have to go to Izuku's room." I told them before ducking out of the room. My brother was about to step into the elevator until he saw me running towards him. "Do you know what happened?"

"No, I was hoping you would." He said, the both of us impatiently waiting for the elevator to hit floor two. We rushed to his room and let ourselves in to find him anxiously pacing with his hands in his hair.

"Hey, what happened?" I asked him softly as I turned on his All Might lamp.

I think Aoyama was on my balcony. I don't know. What if I imagined it? If it was him I don't want him listening in.

"Okay, let's go to my room. Yeah?" He nodded and followed us over one door to help ease his racing mind. "Okay, walk us through it, what happened?"

"I've been having a hard time sleeping and I heard something on my balcony. I could hear footsteps so I pretended to be sleeping just in case. A- And I opened my eyes just a little bit to look in my mirror so I could see who it was and I saw Aoyama on my balcony just staring at me. I waited for him to leave before texting you and he left a message on my balcony in cheese. It said 'I know' but I don't know what that could even be about and what if I just imagined it? What if it didn't really happen?" He rushed out and I was relieved that I turned on my light so I could read his lips.

"Breathe. If you say you saw him then we believe you." Hitoshi said slowly, trying to help ground him a little more.

"Izuku?" His head shot towards me and the panic in his eyes made my chest contract. "When was the last time you properly slept?"

"I don't know. Not since the raid." I nodded and kept my demeanor soft so he would feel more relaxed.

"Okay. Look, I believe you. Hitoshi believes you. We don't think you were imagining anything. I want you to sleep in Hitoshi's room tonight, so you're less freaked out and you get a little more sleep. I promise it'll help. It will clear your head a bit for when you think about it in the morning and run through what happened ten more times. Okay?" I asked softly.

"Okay. Yeah, yeah that makes sense. I'm not crazy."

"You're not crazy. You've always been extremely observant and tactical, it wasn't a dream, it wasn't imagined. If you say it happened, then it happened." He nodded along to my words, and I watched the weight slowly come off of his shoulders.

"It happened. I'm not crazy. He is. He was on my balcony and left a message in cheese." He mumbled, starting to relax a bit.

"It happened." Hitoshi echoed to him. "Let's go to my room." He followed with softly.

The two slowly walked out and I got changed into something that wasn't starting to mess with my sensory issues. A pair of basketball shorts and no shirt. I texted my boyfriend and waited patiently for him to respond before heading to his room. As soon as he saw me, he pulled me into a hug and not so subtly checked me out.

"Everything okay with Midoriya?" He asked, making sure he was in my line of sight.

"Yeah, he's sleeping in Hitoshi's room tonight." I told him, resting my head on his shoulder a little. One of his hands came up and combed through my hair, making my entire body relax almost immediately. He slowly guided me over to his bed and we sat down, my head laying on his shoulder still.

"Do you wanna put anything on to watch?" He asked, grabbing my attention before talking.

"Sure. Anything in particular you wanna watch?" He thought about it for a moment, but half shrugged. I slowly lifted my head and watched as he grabbed his laptop, pulling up a streaming service and let me get comfortable with him.

I laid down next to him and curled into his side a bit, trying my hardest to fight any walls my brain had reinforced in the last week. He scrolled through the different movies until we both agreed on one and he immediately clicked the subtitles button.

"Can you see?" He asked and I nodded a little. "Hey, you okay?" He asked and I nodded again. He paused the movie and looked at me. "What's going on babe?"

"It's nothing, just dumb stuff." I mumbled, not daring to look him in the eye.

"Even if you think it's dumb, I wanna hear about it." He told me earnestly. I slowly started drawing shapes on his stomach, hoping to distract my racing heart for a minute.

"Just in a depressive episode." I mumbled, not used to talking about my emotions with him.

"I had a feeling, I just didn't want to say anything and put you on the spot after everything that happened with the raid." He told gently, his eyes trailing to my hand that was still tracing shapes on his abdomen, growing visibly confused when I stopped.

"Recovery Girl also said that the raid was a major setback for me." I managed to get out and he let me take my time. "Uh, th-this is how I used to act when I was a kid."

"What do you mean?" I chewed on my bottom lip nervously, kicking myself mentally for opening my mouth.

"My Pops told you how when I was a kid, I was really quiet and stuff." He moved his hand towards mine gingerly, playing with my fingertips. "I was always scared of using my quirk cause I was told it hurt people, so I avoided talking." I explained, looking at the wall as I spoke. I looked back up at him hesitantly, not knowing how he might react.

"You're scared you're going to hurt me?" I slowly nodded against his chest. "Ryo, you won't hurt me. Especially not on purpose."

"But I already did. And I hurt Izuku. I don't want to hurt you again." I said, practically pleading with him.

"Onryo." He mumbled and I curled into him a little more.

"I know. I'm sorry. I'm really trying to get past this mental block. I promise." His face softened and he placed a kiss on top of my head.

"I know you are. You don't need to apologize for struggling." I let my body relax a bit and sink into his side fully, I placed a chaste kiss to his abdomen instead of reaching up.

A few times through out the movie I let my eyes fall shut, but after a few minutes my body always jolted back awake until I gave up on sleep. I sat up a little more and gave him a kiss on the cheek, his sleep filled eyes looking at me confused.

"Can you stay?" He asked in what I could only imagine being a groggy voice.

"I'll stay. Do you wanna get comfy?" I asked him and he nodded. After a moment, he had his face buried in my stomach and his legs tangled with mine. His right hand came up and he sleepily starting tracing some of my scars and for once, I didn't let myself be scared about what he thought.

What's this one from?

He showed me what he typed on his phone before pointing to the thick on on my side just beneath my ribs.

"Those ones are from the Nomu in Hosu." I told him softly. He tapped another one and I looked at it. "That one I think was from one of my foster homes." He tapped a third one and as soon as I saw it I started laughing a little. "That one actually has a bit of a story. I tried to jump off a swing." I could almost feel the confused expression on his face. "I was about nine or ten and living with my Dad's. Toshi and I were at the play ground and I got really high on the swings, so I jumped off without thinking cause it was fun. I landed a little funny and rolled my ankle. Unbeknownst to us, one of the stakes in the wall of the platform was sticking up and pointed and I rolled right into it. My Pops was freaking out, Toshi looked like he saw a ghost and it resulted in a day trip to the hospital." He softly laughed, his eyes finally starting to flutter shut all the way. "Good night, baby." I whispered, moving my hand up to play with his hair. Eventually my phone buzzed quite some time later, and my guess was correct that it was Hitoshi texting me.

From Espeon: Bro talk?

To Espeon: Bro talk, what's going on?

From Espeon: What was that about in lunch? Were our friends messing with me or am I just not getting their humor.

To Espeon: No they weren't messing with you, it's something I can't get into because I promised I wouldn't and it's not my place to anyways, but I promise they weren't messing with you

From Espeon: You're sure?

To Espeon: I'm sure

To Espeon: What else is going on?

From Espeon: My depressions been getting worse again.

To Espeon: When did it start getting worse?

From Espeon: Technically a month ago, but more recently in the past few days and I don't think stressing about my birth family is helping. I've been thinking about talking to Dad and Pops about trying antidepressants.

To Espeon: Why didn't you say anything sooner?

From Espeon: I guess part of it is the same reason you don't say anything. Worrying about putting more on their plate. But the other part is it's not a constant. I can handle a depressive episode that lasts a week. So I just tried to ignore it and carry on with life because it's nothing new. But then it started getting worse and I'm at the point where I know I need more help and if I ignore it anymore then it'll only get worse.

To Espeon: If you think medication will help regulate it, then I say go for it. Dad and Pops are going to ask a million questions though, so just be prepared for that, and you know I'm always here if you need someone

From Espeon: You're with Kaminari a lot of the time now.

To Espeon: Shinsou Hitoshi

From Espeon: Oh shit.

To Espeon: I don't give a singular fuck. I don't care who I am with in the moment, whether it be Denki, Dad, our friends, Nedzu, whoever. If you text me saying you need me, I'm coming to wherever the fuck you are to help you. Yknow why? Because you're my brother. You're my family. I'm always gonna have your back. And if our friends or my boyfriend gets bent out of shape because I'm there for my brother, then that's a separate issue and conversation I get to have with that person.

From Espeon: Thanks man.

To Espeon: Now who the fuck do I have to beat up that made you think I wouldn't be there for you because I have a boyfriend?

From Espeon: My overthinking brain.

To Espeon: I will curb stomp that small portion of your brain so that doesn't happen anymore

From Espeon: I think that would kill me.

To Espeon: Never mind then. Antidepressants it is.

From Espeon: Is there anything I should expect with antidepressants?

To Espeon: Be prepared for one or two of them not to work and for your body to slowly build a tolerance to them once you find the one that does work

From Espeon: That sounds somewhat manageable.

To Espeon: For the most part it is, but you have to be completely honest during your med checks and you have to let someone know immediately if you're getting any bad side effects.

From Espeon: Fuck.