#i need out i need out i need out
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Would like to no longer work not in a “lazy and wanting handouts” way but in a “most companies would chew me up and spit me out if it benefitted them and I don’t think I can live with that for another 40+ years” way.
#that’s right fuckers I am once again complaining about my job !!!!!!#I���ve applied for 10 jobs in the last 6 months and gotten an interview at exactly zero of them#so I’m stuck at my entry level job that does not pay me enough to most out of my parents house#where the vibes are rancid and I’m overworked and there’s no upward mobility and I’m going to kms !!!!!!!!#i need out I need out I need out
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ahaha . more of family's getting increasingly bad health complications likely from just living in this fucking house. Haha. Gets Scared
#🐠.txt#vent#i need out i need out i need out#i hate that i can't seem to get anywhere with my donation posts#begging on the internet does fucking nothing for me but i have nowhere else to go#i have no friends irl nor any friends online who live close enough to crash by or something#even then thats a temporary solution#i hate how cruel this country is#i hate how cruel this whole fucking planet is#i can't have anything#and my familys ''planning'' goes nowhere every time#and they usually just brush it off for another year or two#until something happens Again. and Again#currently half the planning is just buying more shit to ''make the current house better'' and complicate getting out even more#as if we're not living in a rotting biohazard#and im not allowed to make a gofundme or anything for whatever reason . they dont trust me with it but won't do it themselves#i hate it here!!!!!!!!!!!! i Really do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i wish i could just move with a friend or partner but thats even more money#and i think id be insufferable to live with tbh#but thats genuinely the only solution i can think of anymore. im never gonna afford my own rent or food from th commissions i rarely recieve#i literally can't get a job#i can barely stand longer than a few minutes#i dont even have middle school education much less anything further than that#i feel like im just doomed to sit here til i die
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I've been seeing a lot of knight posts recently. pretty great
#i really do agree we need a kneeling knight emoji i'd use the FUCK out of that#can i tag this 'chivalry' or perhaps 'arthuriana'#shann talks shit#chivalry#arthuriana#maybe even#paladin#edit: thanks to the people reblogging this i now know of knightposting#knightposting#second edit: listen I didn’t hv an oc in mind when I compiled this but I just remembered that I do hv a knight oc#morghen coded#compilation post
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it’s cheaper to buy vegetables here
#robot alchemic drive#I CANT FIND THE OG POST FOR THE LIFE OF ME it’s like it got vaporized out of existence ???#and i needed this on my blog again. i just needed it#my posts
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Something something, living rent free in my mind and such, anyway I love them.
#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool#wade wilson#wolverine#logan howlett#poolverine#deadclaws#mcu#gosh I really need to find a good style to draw them#I drew wolverine's face FOUR times cuz I hated the way it looked hhhh#this movie took Hugh Jackman out of one of the boxes in my head and put him in a spinning wheel right in the middle of my brain#my art
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I’m just so fucking pissed off man if they can surgically airstrike international volunteer food workers three consecutive times to ensure their operation is wiped out completely what the fuck is left for anyone to say
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my dead goth son and his friendly neighborhood personified concept of insanity
#really happy with how michael turned out :] i might stick to this design#rapunzel ah glowy hair <3#i do need to workshop gerry though orz#have been working on this during breaks from my other projects and god it took way too long to finish#fun fact the final file for this is over 2gb 👍 forgot i was recording the timelapse#i could post it if anyone would be interested#the magnus archives#tma#michael distortion#michael shelley#tma michael#tma distortion#gerard keay#gerry keay#tma gerry#gerrymichael#doorkeay#technically? i’m not one to draw ship art usually but this one’s close enough i think#tma fanart#fanart#my art#digital art#illustration#magpod
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also worth noting that "abusive" doesn't actually mean "irredeemable" either.
there's a lot of people that have done things in the past that were bad, because they weren't taught any better, or they were in an overall toxic situation where EVERYONE was shitty (like a cult), or they were just at an especially low point and hurt others for it.
you don't have to forgive them. you don't have to ever speak to them again. you can be angry with them until you die if you want.
but society cannot function if we don't allow them to move on. to change their behavior and fuck off somewhere else and build meaningful relationships without bothering you again. we need a path for people to change, or nothing ever will.
#like re: the last post#npd SHOULDNT mean 'youre an abusive person'#but also people who have abused people in the past can still become better people in the present#you know?#and as i metioned vaguely in that post. the way we currently treat people with NPD probably CAUSES THEM to lash out at and abuse others#if u abuse someone they lash back out at you and suddenly theres fun mutual abuse happening#so they need a way out of that cycle
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today in church one of the priests referred to trans people as "those who are growing into the gender they were called to be" and i'm kind of enjoying the idea of like....divinely ordained top surgery
#if god thinks i should get top surgery he needs to venmo me $9000 usd#there was someone in the gay social hour who said she had gotten kicked out of multiple catholic churches (for being trans)#and her therapist recommended this church specifically....#going into affirming churches still makes me a little emotional if i am being fully honest. if you have an affirming religious space#i hope you can hold onto that shit with your life#anyway. charming way to think about it i like it more than the bread and wine one personally#me#edit: to clarify this was at an episcopalian church
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wanted to get this idea out of my head before i move on to other things aye🤙
#mouthwashing#fanart#mouthwashing game#anya mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#daisuke mouthwashing#swansea mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#this was supposed to be a quick thing#it got a bit out of hand :“)#i desperately need to do some colour studies bc good lord i struggled here
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(✿◕‿◕) die (ꈍ ꒳ ꈍ✿)
#MY GIRLLLLLLLL <333333 you're doing amazing sweetie kill them all you deserve to#anyway. coping mechanism. the problems in my life i could solve if society just let me have a death note#this show really is an exercise in patience and suffering i get SO squicked out#by how much the horrible characters and situations mirror the insanity of what's happening in real life#also the revelation that some of the actors are Exactly as shitty as their characters are is. ugh.#but every time i'm like okay i can't take it i need to stop to protect my headspace#i think of kimiko and am like.... no... i need to see my gir....#hope karen gets jucy roles in other shows too PLEASE#the boys#kimiko miyashiro#karen fukuhara#theboysedit#tvedit
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couldnt draw my thang for mid-autumn so treated myself to a calne redesign instead
#calne ca#hatsune miku#VOCALOID#cw: body horror#<- And I Fucking Mean That We Are Not Fucking Around Today#well we are. as in I drew this as a fuckaround treat for myself#but the body horror tag is the most warranted its ever been on this blog#ask to tag#I am as ever on my journey to make calne ca Worse. her OG version is too cool. even the crab ver is too cool#I need her to be worse to look at. I am also getting myself into to mood to test my hand at boarding a pmv for my friend's cover#I think my thought for this was ''I should try and give her a more insectoid bodyplan''#which in this mostly means gently three-part body and six limbs (my favourite amount of limbs to draw rn)#actually almost gave her eight but didnt like how that silhouette came out so I mermaided her uh. abdomen I guess#though maybe next time I do this I should push that idea more. the head and torso are still very distinct for one unified part#I feel like one of my old attempts was onto something with like. a more horizontal body plan... well! live and learn etc#happy late mid autumn I guess. I should play with touys about it... I miss model kits. mayhaps...
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Oh Dipper, you would LOVE Chappell Roan
#doctorsiren#gravity falls#dipper pines#mabel pines#chappell roan#pink pony club#gravity falls fanart#digital art#my art#procreate#I was hit with this vision this morning#I NEED JASON TO DO A COVER 😭 PLEASE OUGH IT FEELS LIKE SUCH A SONG THAT DIPPER WOULD SING#same with Hot To Go#no way dipper’s hitting those high notes in Good Luck. Babe properly LMAOO#I had to scribble this up to get it out of my brain bc now I need to go line my illustration homework oops
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post-graduation trip airport looks
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#itafushikugi#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jujutsu kaisen fanart#these took ages but fr once i am choosing to forgive myself given th fact tht i was coming out of A State when i drew them#im normal now dw drawing the first years wearing merch of my comfort content fixed me#when in doubt play dress up. life hack#i am holding fast 2 my hc tht megumi is a fiend @ indie platformers and is a household name on the celeste speedrun leaderboards#argue with a wall this is my jujutsu kaisen#megumi designated Drink Runner also#alr in line at a cafe texts their gc 'what do you guys want' n gets mad @ nobara fr making him go to a Second shop 2 get her bubble tea#anyway theres not much 2 say abt these just bc i needed sth Light n Easy 2 get me out of my head#no lore to fashion pieces which is both a blessing and a curse but it Is what i needed#nobara serving looks fr a flight i love u so much. it's probably 8 in the morning n she is in a fully coordinated fit#its so criminal tht we don't have more alt hairstyle official art fr her???? iirc it's Just the lost in paradise mv with her in buns no????#robbed. i am fixing it immediately.#wonder where the 3 of them wld go on a trip
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gossip
twitter | ig | inprnt | patreon | store
#oldie from patreon#drew the girls a year ago in a blank void#didnt know what to do w it until i pulled it out of the vault a few days ago#some things need to marinate for a long time i guess
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ppl dont talk about the fact that even Daisuke's characterization is affected by Jimmy's unreliable perspective. He refers to Daisuke as a spoiled rich kid who has his mommy and daddy behind him, that he's impressionable and stupid, and i do see people kinda characterizing him like that
like he has these rich parents who will dote on him and give him everything, that he's an airhead who isn't good at anything...
yet in curly's perspective we see that he's good at board games, he's trying his best, he's trying to listen to swansea and learn from him. He did get the internship from his parents but not because he wanted to, but because his parents thought he wasn't going anywhere in life, that he needed to be doing something. Daisuke is silly and a positive person but that's just for show, we see in the scene where Jimmy finds him lying on the floor drunk on mouthwash, that Daisuke isn't doing well, he's scared and feels sad about his parents. He makes jokes to cope with the horrible tension on the ship.
people characterize him as a stupid little kid too much for my liking, that's how Jimmy sees him. As a spoiled brat who came on the ship just to be an inconvenience. Even Swansea didn't see him like that, sure he complained about him but in Daisuke's final moments we see Swansea's true colors and how much he actually cares for him. He's an adult, who's putting on this happy go-lucky persona because he truly wants to succeed in life, and he's doing the internship for his mom and dad even though he doesn't want to. So he makes friends, he tries his best, he wants to be on the good side of everyone on the ship.
Jimmy just saw him as an easy target, someone too trusting and easily manipulated. A stupid kid he can use to get what he wants. He even plays with Daisuke's feelings of needing validation from Swansea, someone he looks up to. He tells Daisuke that by going in the vent, he'd make Swansea proud.
Daisuke isn't someone who has it easy or someone who's a stupid airhead. Jimmy just saw kindness and positivity as weakness.
#sorry if this doesn't make any sense...i just needed to get my thoughts abt daisuke out of my head#fuck you jimmy#mouthwashing#mouth washing#wrong organ#daisuke#daisuke mouthwashing#mouthwashing daisuke#jimmy mouthwashing#swansea mouthwashing#swansea#riv rambling
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