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Eps 30-33 Commentary
No meta, just reactions! I have less to say about some eps so I'm combining several episodes worth. To make up for my head-emptiness and lack of meta, I've included more pictures lmao. Spoilers under the cut!
Ep 30:
"You really are pitiful." Li Lun waking up thinking of ZYC's words oooh they did that opening line for Li Lun/ZYC lovers (me)
What a homoerotic way to give the Truth Eye
ZYC and ZYZ having their first drink(s) together here, ZYZ and Li Lun having one last game of chess here. Gay ppl will go “I know a place” and take you to a damp cave and a little stone table in the Wilderness
Oof. The apparent inherence of winning/losing in their activity of choice compared to the drinks that took place here between ZYC and ZYZ. Even with a draw, it’s competitive by nature. If Li Lun knew about the three (very intense, very intimate) toasts that came before in this very spot, I wonder how aggrieved he’d feel.
Ah well there goes the date spot /:
I’m so happy to see LZY (Bai Jiu’s actor) get to fight! His fight scenes in MTJY were awesome and he continues to impress here as well. It’s so fun to watch!
………..to revisit my question from previous commentary about when the grievances against Ying Lei will end, the answer is never ;-;
Damn…For ZYC to promise to spare Li Lun after all that Li Lun has put him through specifically and personally. ZYC really fucking loves ZYZ doesn’t he.
I’m so fucked up over Ying Lei’s last words jesus christ.
ZYC sobbing and feeling the fleeting warmth of the rock Ying Lei was just leaning against…when will the world stop taking away his family members??? His brothers???
That scene of everyone looking at Bai Jiu after Ying Lei dissipates. The fact that he's right there. And it’s like they traded one life for another. The two babies of the group. Goddammit.
Do NOT hit me with Bai Jiu’s actor singing “Broken-Tailed Bird” right now oh my god
So like…regarding ZYZ losing his demonic power, does he still count as the most evil demon of ZYC’s time? Can someone ring Ying Long and ask?
ZYC crybaby oh no I can’t believe he’s crying over ZYZ being so weakened aw I love him
My god, Bai Jiu running after Ying Lei and into ZYC’s arms has to be one of my favorite sequences in the whole show. So so good. So so painful. Between this scene, all the flashbacks, and ZYC’s reaction when he died, I’m at least glad the show is spending so much screen time and significance on Ying Lei’s send-off, even if I’m heartbroken that he’s gone. We couldn’t even have the whole family reunited for one moment.
Also have you ever seen a man so mother?
No but seriously "Cry if you want...[tears] have to do with our hearts" ZYC my healthy masculinity king!!!
This song fucking hurtssssssssss this cheese (it's buttermilk) hurts everything hurts
I’m glad PSJ gets time and space to react. Her lines about being a mortal and not being needed are so good but also ow!!! And oh WX always knows exactly what to say to her 🥹
I love everything ZYC says to Bai Jiu about each family member (like yeahhh WX is unlucky 😭 and yeaahHH PSJ does need support too) but MAN the way he says ZYZ’s name is so fucking good. The fact that it gets so much emotion across without saying a single word further as he gets interrupted. His voice and his expression both collapsing a little in that moment. Efficiency of acting strikes again.
Is it even possible for ZYC to cherish this little family more?
Yo this dramatic ass lighting on ZYZ and ZYC standing in the doorway. Why y’all need so much drama just to talk? Also oughhhh ZYC’s gaze is a mess looking every which way while discussing WX’s poison. He is such a bad liar (but he looks so good doing it). Is that why they gotta talk about this like ten feet apart so ZYZ can’t see him lying? Lmao
Okay also tho if ZYC's coming around looking like this I am not hearing a single thing he's saying:
They flashed back to the previous time ZYC held his hand out but cut away from ZYZ taking it this time. Is it bc the absolutely unfettered tension between them can’t pass censors anymore? Haha god but that shot of ZYC slowly meeting ZYZ’s eyes from ZYZ’s POV whewwww we don’t got the skinship but their gazes are kind of insane??? TJR in blue contacts is too powerful I'm shaking somebody needs to stop him.
Ep 31:
Trying so hard not to be driven a little crazy by the lapses in continuity in this show (‘: It’s just tonal and costuming stuff that are a little difficult for me to ignore, just the fact that it’s kind of apparent which scenes were filmed in what order based on their costume/styling changes + the sets, and how sometimes the tone from the previous events don’t smoothly carry over because of this. But it's momentary, I just gotta. Power through.
YO the Pei siblings sparring was so cool and for what. They should have had WX spectating instead of staring at nothing in the previous scene (-:
Damn how long has it been since they played the fun music. Also feels kind of wrong without Ying Lei though fml
Awwww Qing Geng I missed her she’s so cute!! I wasn't doing ep commentaries during her arc so I gotta make up for it here. Her actress is so talented and adorable, and her costuming in this show is stunning!! Her lashes!! Her colors!!
THE TREE BRANCHES lmfaooo ZYC what happened to being worried for ZYZ’s weak body?? We really haven't had a moment like this in so long though (':
Well I do like the reason why WZY had a fake out death, that’s pretty clever and narratively sound, but also oh god what in the AOT??? The inner cores hidden in the medicine is some odious fucking work dear lord
I also like that the endgame is coming about from what initially seemed like another small-time case. Of course the evil physician's huge scheme at the end weaponizes plague and poison and medicine.
Ayeee fun that they used the teleporter on WZY instead of as a getaway
Lmfao ZYC just standing there taking a huge hit of the poison smoke. Poor baby doesn’t watch movies and doesn’t know smoke from a bad guy always means some kind of poison
Why does poisoned!ZYC have such an incredible smokey-eye siren look I’m shook
After knowing the poison is about indulging in your greatest wishes, the first moment ZYC woke up and approached ZYZ they sure looked like they were about to indulge in something sorry ignore me
The way this is so similar to ZYZ’s imaginings where he and WX always turn around and look at the camera. The show wants censors to believe they’re looking at ZYZ but we've known all along who the third POV is here
Also why aren’t ZYC’s bro and dad in the wish illusion?
Ohh the eerie instrumental rendition of the OST when ZYC draws his sword is too good. And yesss we were so due for some more crazy dream fuckery like is this real? Is this real??
Ep 32:
The team is spread so thin )-: One man (mountain god) down and a whole town to save and an immortal villain to vanquish.
WZY's eagerness in trying to goad ZYC into killing himself while poisoned is so so sinister goddamn. I love how disturbing it is to slowly realize what he wants without any lines at all
ZYZ shielding ZYC from a huge fucking fireball with just his hand is adorable and sad:
I already normally love Li Lun's whole leaf-swirly entrances and exits but you know I cheered when he deus ex machina-ed his way here!!! With that bgm too!!!
Li Lun came back to accept ZYC into their throuple. He's had some time to think and yeah he's decided ZYC's kinda hot and maybe shouldn't die or else ZYZ will be sad.
):
ZYC's soft and anguished, "Qing Geng" when he realizes she gave him her inner core. That's my bleeding heart hero ;-;
Throuple of the fucking yearrrrrr:
Spoiler for ep 33/34 but—watching Bai Jiu watch the three of them and realize he can't do anything to help here... It would have been dangerous for him to stay, but I wonder if things could have ended differently ):
Ep 33:
Oughhhhh Pei Siheng ))): The cruel fucking poetry of PSJ, the most emotionally closed-off character, having her heart, her brother, made into her armor. And then to lose him once more.
ZYC proving time and again that his heart is entirely boundless and he'll shelter anyone from the rain and he just wants everyone to live:
LI LUN/ZYC LOVERS HOW ARE WE FEELIN'?!?
Did not expect MORE ZYC choking now that they're on the same side but yeah Li Lun is not one to let go of a good thing I get it. I'm screaming but I get it. "I'm giving you half my demonic power" yeah right just admit you like doing this dw Li Lun this is a safe space.
Literally what am I watching and also no don't mind me, keep going. Feral over ZYC dropping his hand and letting it happen.
But lmfao the way Li Lun did not need to be doing all that, like he sends his power out to ZYZ without even making physical contact. He could've just grabbed ZYC by the shoulder.
Can't believe I just keep winning:
ZYC didn't even know what Li Lun was doing putting his arms around him and he just let it happen. That's some next level trust.
Ah goodbye Li Lun, presumably another victim of the "(ex-)villains can't have good endings" brand of censorship
Oof I love that the initial horror after the seeming victory is reserved first for the simple fact that ZYC and ZYZ are separated, that ZYC can't go to him the way he was intending to. Even when it's unclear yet that WZY is still alive, just the wrongness of them being divided this way is so poignant. ZYC has such a helpless look about him when he says ZYZ's name.
Goddammit WZY saw Li Lun choke ZYC and got ideas.
Oh I love the uncertainty of whether the One-Word Spell works on ZYC or not. ZYZ's sudden and intense fear. Also though WZY tries to use ZYC dying as a deterrent for ZYZ blowing up the barrier but he's literally choking the life out of ZYC as we speak
Bai Jiu's completely unrestrained screaming and crying in pain is so brutal to listen to. His scenes go on forever. Also, the choice of having some of his flashbacks be blurred and vague in the background, once again something privately kept for the character
ZYC holding out his hand to ZYZ a third time ;-; The utter relief of being able to reach each other again paralleling that previous horror of separation.
ZYC physically feeling Bai Jiu's death oh god. We do not get a single moment of happiness and victory in this drama everything is bought with pain and returns pain I hate it here.
Also another post-finale thought (spoilers for the end of the drama)—If ZYZ remained in his weakened state, I really am curious if he would have still met the conditions of the prophecy (ZYC being cursed to kill the most evil demon of his time, if the prophecy is indeed conditional like that, of course). If that could have been a technical loophole, did Li Lun giving both of them his power and then ZYC giving ZYZ his as well basically fulfill it again? I mean, logistically speaking, without that extra power, I'm not sure if ZYZ would have been able to trigger the Baize cycle again (or whatever it is he did to save the town). So the show's final tragedy can be traced all the way back to these moments of giving out of love and protection, just as Bai Jiu being in the perfect place for his final sacrifice came about because ZYC, ZYZ, and Li Lun were trying to protect him and get him out of danger. The way love and grief are so helplessly, inevitably intertwined that one begets the other. They were all just trying to save each other.
On that completely painful note, that's 30-33! And it'll be downhill from here for the next one (-:
#fangs of fortune#fangs of fortune spoilers#zhuo yichen#zhao yuanzhou#li lun#episode commentary#meta#i say no meta but i tag meta just in case it's better for organization idk
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FOR WHOM THE BELL TOLLS
Blue Eye Samurai || 1x06 - All Evil Dreams and Angry Words
#i need more ppl to talk about these scenes#forever obsessed with the whole murder mansion sequence i don’t think u guys understand#raised the bar forever#mizu trIPPIN BALLS on the brink of death slaughtering thousands covered in blood trippy aesthetic#THEMATICALLY RELEVANT NEON BLUE#THEMATICALLY RELEVANT FOR WHOM THE BELL TOLLS SOUNTRACL#THEMATICALLY RELEVANT HELL IMAGERY#ohhhggg this was made for mi#blue eye samurai#movies#(the zombie fight is also cool af but it wasn’t very gif friendly lmfao
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One of my favorite parts of phase 2 (and indeed one of the few moments I resonated with IDW Prowl) was when the neutrals were coming back to Cybertron and Prowl said that he refused to let Autobots be pushed aside and overruled after they were the ones who fought for freedom for 4 million years (the exact wording escapes me atm).
And I mean, that resentment still holds true even once the colonists come on bc like. As much as it's true that Cybertron's culture is fucked up, and as funny as it can be to paint Cybertronians as a bunch of weirdos who consider trying to kill someone as a common greeting not important enough to hold a grudge over.... The colonists POV kind of pissed me off a lot of times, as did the narrative tone/implications that Cybertronians are forever warlike and doomed to die by their own hands bc it just strikes me as an extremely judgemental and unsympathetic way to deal with a huge group of people with massive war PTSD and political/social tensions that were rampant even before the war?
Like, imagine living in a society rife with bigotry and discrimination where you get locked into certain occupations and social strata based on how you were born. The political tension is so bad there's a string of assassinations of politicians and leaders. The whole planet erupts into an outright war that leads (even unintentionally) to famine and chemical/biological warfare that destroys your planet. Both sides of the war are so entrenched in their pre-war sides and resentment for each other that this war lasts 4 million years and you don't even have a home planet any more. Then your home planet gets restored and a bunch of sheltered fucks come home and go "ewww why are you so violent?? You're a bunch of freaks just go live in the wilderness so that our home can belong to The Pure People Who Weren't Stupid And Evil Enough To Be Trapped In War" and then a bunch of colonists from places that know nothing about your history go "lol you people are so weird?? 🤣🤣 I don't get why y'all are fighting can't you just like, stop??? Oh okay you people are just fucked up and evil and stupid then" ((their planets are based on colonialism where their Primes wiped out the native populations btw whereas the Autobots and OP in particular fought to save organics. But that never gets brought up as a point in their favor)) as if the damage of a lifetime of war and a society that was broken even before the war can just magically go away now that the war is over.
Prowl fucking sucks but he was basically the only person that pointed out the injustice of that.
And then from then on out most of the characters from other colonies like Caminus and wherever else are going "i fucking hate you and your conflicts" w/ people like literal-nobody Slide and various Camiens getting to just sit there lecturing Optimus about how Cybertronians are too violent for their own good and how their conflicts are stupid, with only brief sympathetic moments where the Cybertronians get to be recognized as their own ppl who deserve sympathy before going right back to being lambasted.
Like I literally struggled to enjoy the story at multiple points because there was only so much I could take of the characters I knew and loved being raked over coals constantly while barely getting to defend themselves or be defended by the narrative so like. It was just fucking depressing and a little infuriating to read exRID/OP
#squiggposting#and like dont get me wrong barber wasnt trying to make cybertronians the bad guys or whatever#it's just a problem with his writing where like. he has A Message he wants to send#and so he uses the entire story literally just for The Message even if it involves bullshit plotlines#or familiar characters ppl were reading about for the past decade being shit on by OCs made up to fill a new roster#like barber's writing tends to lean way too much on a sort of lecturing tone#without giving proper care towards including moments where characters get to like. fucking express themselves and share their side#sort of like how barber couldnt be bothered to write pyra magna and optimus actually talking to each other during exrid#and instead during OP ongoing pyra is suddenly screaming about how OP is unteachable#even tho she never even tried to teach him bc she and OP never interacted bc i guess barber couldnt be bothered#he just needed someone to lecture OP so fuck making the story make sense or like letting OP get to say anything in defense#this is the infuriating part of barber's writing bc i think he has incredible IDEAS and was in charge of the lore i was most interested in#but most of the time his execution sucks and he's basically just mid with a few brilliant moments occasionally#or like he has a message about the cycle of violence he wants to convey#but his narrative choices trying to convey that theme made his story come off as super unsympathetic to the ppl who suffered#to the point where barber actively kneecapped some scenes that couldve been super fucking intense and emotional#in favor of the characters lecturing each other or some stupid plot to criticize OP#that time in unicron where windblade screamed about how this is their fault and then arcee replied that her planet is build on coloniation#shouldve happened more often than literally the last series of the ocntinuity. like goddamn stfu about your moral superiority#when your own sins are right fhere lol
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been rewatching a pretty good series
#station eleven#y'know that feeling when your understanding of a piece of art grows and changes with your understanding of yourself and the world. yeag#when youre slow to understand the key themes of this show but then they click the entire work seems to open up to#you and reveals 10000 hidden blades that all stab you at once every second of every scene#the show made me cry about a hundred different things and it was fantastic to analyze but i always felt i was missing something#i got it in the end. i just needed to grow a bit more before i could put words to it#and the show helped#literally miranda manifesting dr eleven as a tool that helps the ppl in the show reconcile with themselves#handshake emoji#station eleven the show as a tool to help me reconcile with myself#god alive this show is good. please someone talk to me about it have a document full of half deranged thematic+symbolic analysis and sobbin
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Please infodump about the JayTimSteph Grotesquerie AU WIP if possible.
OF COURSE i've been thinking about it since i saw the trailer and now it's a little brainworm. (disclaimer i've not watched the first two episodes yet, this is like. solely on the vibes of the trailer. some details might change once i. watch the show depending on if i follow it or just go with the vibes the trailer gave me. which also means there will be no spoilers for the show if you care about that.)
the current idea involves Detective!Tim, Nun!Steph, and Priest!Jason. the vague idea for the plot so far is that a serial killer leaves a *very* artful display of a crime scene inside of the church that Jason and Steph operate out of. Tim is assigned as the leading detective on the case and ends up in a relationship with the both of them as he spirals in madness trying to catch the killer.
for Steph, i want to explore the idea of her father, Cluemaster, being a *very* prolific and artful serial killer who's whole gimmick was sending clues to the police until he was caught when Steph was still a child, and her and her mother were forced to go into witness protection for their own safety, which led her down the path of becoming a nun. it was a defining childhood moment for her to walk in on one of her father's crimes, so when she's the one who finds the crime scene in the church, it *immediately* sends her back to her childhood and she's caught between PTSD-fueled horror and a sick, enticing fascination. she wanted to become a journalist before going into WITSEC but that career was basically all but ruined for her. now she runs the small newspaper for the church and is desperate to write on the first "real" story she's ever had, dragging her into an intense obsession over the crime and trying to prove she can solve it.
for Jason, i want to deal with his history as Bruce. the current idea is that Bruce is Tim's police chief who adopted Jason and Dick from a young-ish age and raised them to be detectives, taking them to crime scenes as teenagers and teaching them the ins and outs of how criminals think. it leads to Dick becoming a detective, but when taking them to crime scenes led to Jason being kidnapped and brutally tortured by "Jack Napier", almost dying. Dick kills Napier to save Jason and it fractures their little family so badly that Dick switches departments to another city and Jason runs away at 17, eventually happening upon joining the clergy. he's the new, young priest in the church who's known for being very pretty but very emotionally distant even if he's nice enough. and he's *pissed* that Bruce is in his church investigating a murder and that no matter where Jason goes, he can't seem to get away from the horrors.
and for Tim, he's the young new detective in his department who is *entirely* unaware that he's been taken under Bruce's wing bc Bruce is treating him as a surrogate replacement for Dick and Jason. haven't fully decided his backstory yet, but it'll likely be similar to canon with losing his mother and father. i kind of want him to be lost and lacking a sense of direction. very gifted in noticing patterns and detective work, but it's clear he doesn't *really* want this job. and when he's assigned as the lead on a case that feels *way* too big for his experience bc Bruce is showing clear favoritism, he's forced to go to Steph for help, which leads to Jason ending up wrapped up with them too.
despite how heavy the plot *sounds*, i honestly want this fic to be like. 40% porn. like the show i want to explore a lot of fucked up sexual interests in Jason who's punishing himself for it, Steph being too interested in things for her own good and desperate for a taste of what "real life" feels like, and Tim just being incredibly repressed. like i want the line between horror and erotic to feel like a jumprope. lots of fucked up sex balanced with like. them actually trying to catch the killer. and then of course the emotional aspect of how Jason's baggage with Bruce works into all of it. also want Tim to have a mild hero worship for "the great Detective Dick Grayson" while being clueless that he's Bruce's son and Jason's brother. i sort of want it to be Steph-centric, but still have POVs from Tim and Jason just to round out their emotional arcs. i haven't fully decided everyone else who'll be in the fic but i know i want Cass to be a fellow nun and friend of Steph's, Babs to also work at the church, Helena to be Tim's favorite coworker, and possibly for Damian to be around somehow. those roles will probably get more fleshed out when i. watch the damn show tho.
anyway TLDR: religious imagery, body horror, kinky sex, and a mystery that might break everyone psychologically once they get to the bottom of it. i have some very specific scenes and dialogue planned out. probably cannibalism as a metaphor for love thrown in there too. idk i just want these three to be as fucked up as possible and unhinged about each other but fighting their repressed side with their unhinged feral side. and since it doesn't exist by god I'll create it.
#necrotic answerings#necrotic works in progress#jaytimsteph grotesquerie au#<- temp tag until this fic gets a real name#jaytimsteph#when i shared this idea with my partner they were like. this should just be an original book#and yeah they're right but given it's derrivative of a show i don't think it *can* be. ergo. fanfic.#and i'm *already* writing one fucked up romance book with serial killers and a nun okay i've hit my quota.#but tysm for asking about this anon i was so excited to talk about it.#also! one scene idea i have in my head involves the three of them getting attacked#and jason killing the attacker with tim's firearm. which tim basically snatches from him and takes the blame for the kill#and even tho he's in the clear legally bruce sitll forces him to do a psyche eval that he hates.#and meanwhile jason asks tim to “punish him” not bc he killed the guy but bc he *enjoyed* it.#very fun scene for like. the descent into madness of the three of them getting more and more unhinged trying to solve this case.#like how far are they willing to go type shit#also i have a *lot* of sex scenes planned.#don't ask me who the killer is i haven't decided yet#i'm leaning on it being someone connected to tim tho#just to flesh out his backstory more. so we'll see#anyway i'mso happy to ramble about this fic idea to anyone who wants to ask more about it bc it'll help me develop it more#i've got the basics down but i'm an outline girlie at heart so i need evertrhing planned out for it to work yk.#this is my petition to make more ppl care about jaytimsteph. they're so cool i swear.
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It’s been said before and the fact that I’m an Izzy simp aside like having a character who survives the most certain death shit ever (shooting himself in the head at point blank) and literally being nicknamed by another character “indestructible” and then become a symbol of protection for a whole group of people die from a fucking bullet to the side that was established in universe to have no vital organs in order to “atone for his sins” or however you wanna spin it and have him say he wants to go after (see point one) literally trying to kill himself in the show that is literally about growth and betterment of the self in a cruel world that wants you dead and where the main (and mostly queer) characters survive the most batshit insane injuries is like COSMICALLY stupid writing like I don’t even understand how you get there and the fact that it’s supposed to be a kind/ happy/meaningful ending is beyond me
#and Izzy’s whole speech to Ricky before that could be interpreted as what like#being about even if you kill and try to eradicate queer people we’ll always be here#and then have RICKY deal the killing blow ????#wahhhh it’s symbolic#ok it would’ve been more symbolic to have the fucking queer character live like idc you’re all stupid god bless#ofmd critical#tbd#maybe#oh and then I mean not even talking about how it’s supposedly all good#because the main gays who had borderline no redeeming qualities this season had their picket fence ending#literally what’s the point of having Ed come back from the dead#so he can learn that death is not the answer and that there’s love and betterment for him#and have that whole scene with Jim and Archie where they refuse to kill one another because there’s more to life than the cards#they’ve been dealt and they can be the difference#JUST TO HAVE THAT ENDING#my god I just#sorry if you guys are sick of me ranting about ofmd like 5 months after the shit show supreme#but these are like all thoughts that I’ve just had in my head for months but tried to forget#and now they’re just spilling out like idc anymore#ppl have made so many good posts that all say what I think but ig I still need to rant myself jvhsjnv#how long can your neck be for it to allow you to bury your head so deep in the sand#where you truly believe this is good writing idk#side note but gifs of cats randomly blowing up are my favourites#‘Izzy bettered himself before dying so it’s aaaallll good’ hits you hits you#stupid ass shit argument but also that was across maybe a week and dude was piss drunk dissociative half the time
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kagiura akira is SO asexual coded i'm losing my mind
#i've been reading kagihira since i got caught up to sasamiya#and i'm on this chapter where kagi and his friend talk about his idea of romance#and the boy is so confused about everything i related to him so much#like.. having a crush when ur acespec is CONFUSING ASF#bc you cant really grasp the concept of attraction so everytime u talk about ur crush ppl think it must be just platonic love not romantic#and their reaction confuses u even more because you know u feel something but if it’s not the usual crush feeling then what the fuck is it?#i dont know if i'm reading too much into that one scene but GOD IT JUST MAKES SO MUCH SENSE#please i'm begging yall please let him be asexual#also there was a panel where he remembers a past relationship with a girl#and it implies that she broke up w him because she thought their relationship wasnt romantic enough and was more like being just classmates#DO YOU GUYS SEE THE POTENTIAL I'M SEEING#let kagiura akira be asexual. please. i need it for my soul#hirano to kagiura#hirano and kagiura#kagiura akira#hirano taiga#sasaki to miyano#sasamiya#kagihira#hirakagi#asexual#asexuality#headcanons
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look at my leftist bro we're never making it out of the capitalist mode of production
#they thought they ate so much with this#arcaning#arcane spoilers#im gonna just gonna choose to believe they're doing this purely about fiction#and that the word commune is refering to the cult#and is meant to be interpreted totally separate from the waving flags and the uprising and the zaun revolution#and was not meant to refer to commune as in horizontal society in the context of a revolution#because yeah. socialists' dream of a communist utopia has caused wars before#but saying all humanity does evil out of good is reaching#choosing to interpret they meant purely their fictional characters who are driven by love always bc they need to be made sympathetic#and not real people#becauseeeeeee i can't deal with the idea that a revolution would bring about too much destruction so doing it is not worth it#GIRL THAT'S THE SOCIAL PEACE TALKING !!!!#seeing the ammount of scenes in s1 where vi told jayce and the rest of the counselours that they were always at every moment#killing ppl from the undercity even if they didn't see it#to mean that the arcane team has a more mature perspective than our drive for revolution will make us kill people and that's why it fails#again and again#because humans' passion makes us kill each other 😓 sad face#anyways im bringing way too many politics into this#the arcane team probably doesnt even intend to comment on this#usually the writers of very politizied dystopias dont even get that theyre doing social commentary
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Me trying my best to be normal at work (I'm insane)
#jane journals#🍞 my bread and butter 🍞#self insert talk#YANNO IM NOT EVEN GONNA BE COY#WHATS THE USE. YEAH ITS BEEN ONE DAY AND I NEED HIM BAD#im talking to my friend about him and goddddd ive never felt the need to make a grown man whimper like this 😩😩#idk my partner is being more open about kinks on their blog and i trust ppl following me to be cool if i am too!!#or at least more open about sexuality CAUSE MY FUCKING GOD#OK YOU KNOW THAT SCENE FROM WOLF OF WALL STREET#I NEED THAT TO BE US *NOW*#I NEED TO DRAW IT *YESTERDAY*#IM FUCKING BARKING AND TEARING UP THE DRYWALL
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okay i give up i cant write this pjo fic percy loves sally too much
#which is good! love that he loves his mom i think that’s so realistic#maybe i just need to do a re-read but i dont ever remember him being angry/bitter about it which. i do not understand#like i don’t need to understand it i just need to be able to write it but like. okay.#in those situations there is a lot of manipulation involved from the mothers side esp when the men are introduced to the kids young#so that part was easy like gabe prob smacked percy and sally was like im sorry hon next time just try to be more careful ok#but i have no idea how this didn’t lead into him resenting sally as he got older#esp since i don’t think he knew gabe was hitting her too so it’s not like he was putting up w gabe to physically protect his mom#which would be another issue in itself bc he’s literally 12#anyway this is all being said to reiterate that i still do have so many sally jackson thoughts even though this fic crashed and burned#shoutout to sally jackson your efforts as an accomplice to your child’s abuse will forever be tossed around in my mind#also while i’m here talking about her i need to talk about that scene in the pjo show where she told him off#so many ppl were tryna “um actually 🥸☝️” the entire thing by saying book sally would do the same cos she’s fiery in canon#which is so true sally did stand up to gabe#and i have no doubt she would have told him off in the book to#o#but i also have no doubt that she would have gotten the shit beat out of her for it later#it’s a double edged sword people who get abused aren’t 100 percent meek or 100 percent strong willed all the time#its an ugly little mix of everything and depending on the day some of the traits present more strongly than the others#ok i’m done in a fr way now
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almost done with revisiting supernova... just gotta get my hold on the audiobook back
#and then im gonna start over AGAIN#but THIS TIME i'll be taking ALL THE NOTES#mostly scenes i liked and want to revisit probably for fanart purposes#and keeping an eye out for key scenes that i can revisit later so i can keep my characterization on point for some characters#mainly [everyone that isn't maggie]#KJLDJKLFSD#ok fr mainly adrian and max#and the anarchists#maybe team sketch?#kinda that order of importance#i've refreshed on max's characterization and I still feel like im missing something abt him in my hcs of trinket duo#i worry im babying him or taking away parts of him#making him more shy than he actually is#thats why im vry much hoping to see more ppl talk about their hcs and interpretations of other characters like meeee#i need to find ppl obsessed with the others like i am with maggie#and we need to lock ourselfs in a dungeon until we concoct the perfect hcs everever#renegades trilogy#renegades fandom#renegades marissa meyer#archenemies marissa meyer#supernova marissa meyer#marissa meyer
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coming up with a plot for cast away his wrath might actually kill me because like. what do you MEAN i cant just write episodes like its a tv show and have the scenes i want. sick and fucking twisted
#n.txt#i dont wanna come up with a plot and conflict i want the BEACH episode NOW#i wanna write the scene where odysseus realizes hes taking telemachus on a playdate with ACHILLES THE OLYMPIC GOLD MEDALIST and his son#who spend the entire 2 hours talking about minecraft while their dads awkwardly avoid each other#theres no beef yet its more just awkward bc odysseus is a linecook#maybe i just need to list what everyones doing actually#achilles doesnt pay attention to ppl if theyre not hot or interesting enough bc hes stupid
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you ever hangout with someone and their company is actually much worse than being alone?
#she came over and we watched hasee toh phasee together okay#bc she said she hadn't seen it and i was like huh wtf!!!!!#terrible idea she doesn't deserve to see that movie it was so perfect she didn't ruin it exactly bc it's my fav#movie ever and she's not important enough to change that#but god it was annoying having her next to me i wanted her to go away and watch it on my own😭😭#she kept looking at her phone on super important scenes and she kept saying arey she should find out about them where is the spice#and i kept saying this isn't about spice it's sweet heartwarming story about love and doomed relationships and father daugter rships#but she didn't appreciate it#i need to watch the movie again on my own to cleanse myself from the negativity ew#and she said i had so much fun let's do this again help😭😭 meko nahi karna never again#time to subtly start ignoring her so she gets the message and leave me alone#i already got the ick from her when she acted that way over parents but i was like ivy no ppl aren't perfect give her a second chance you#friends you're really lonely your internet friends are great but they can't sit next to you and talk to you#but i was wrong being lonely is better she's just so. wrong😭#i kept thinking she's literally worse than everyone in my life i would have had more fun watching it with my MOM😭#and my sis loves this movie and my bestie loves this movie and my cousin sis also loves this movie#UGH
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pien
#stardust speaking !#anytime i open the comic one folder i see akiras flinching back into reality when mitile calls for figaro and feel everything at once#im normal now#CANNOT WAITTTT TO SEE IT ANIMATED mayhaps animating pt1 is excellent after all#i forgot who does the anime but please add a scene early on where akira cries PLEEEAAASEEEEEEEEEE#ALL ALONE IN A NEW WORLD WHERE UR ONLY COMFORT IS A BOOK WRITTEN BY THE DUDE WHO PREVIOUSLY WAS IN UR POSITION AND HAPPENED TO KNOW JP#AS WELL#(long talk about akira & slowly not clinging to the sages book as they grow closer to the ppl around them = more comfortable)#i should put that kyukyukyurarin here cuz. that one comment about akira arriving alone and leaving alone i dont think i can do it scoobs#i wasnt supposed to talk about this at all. uhhhh q is back on salute emoji. which means i must write more. my beloved drafts im runinng#ALSO im gonna make sure to im ppl the stuff. i missed being annoying.#anyhow my opens r always open. my meme tag is there. gbf stream soon and then proseka YAHOO#which means i need to hurry up with pt2 grrrrrrr theres pt2 specific things i Rly wanna write/address#and i KNOWWWWWW ill want to talk about 4th anni for a billion yrs#i miss the 4th anni ost...........#(spends more time thinking abuot mhyk lov n deepspace au)#GOODNIGHT#actualy the fact akira goes from 'i wanna talk to arthur in case he knows a way for me to go home' to 'i dont want to leave until ive#accomplsihed things here' (and in general the tanabata events of akira hesitating to wish to go home partly cuz wishing for that when#everyone worked so hard to hold a party......is a bit.....and partly cuz they. kinda. do not. want to leave alrdy#gah...
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honestly…my shtola npc ship opinion is if i was gonna ship her with anyone…nidhana is right there…
#someone who like can meet her on the level she’s at…you know#those aether sharing scenes were weak to me but just bc i expected more from the way ppl talked about it#i support you zeroshtola’s im just not one of you#i do not speak of the goth lion tho aghddjksv#i need a text post tag
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not a sad ‘woe is me’ post so don’t send me weird messages but: the thing abt cycling through every ED possible and being bulimic for like 10 yrs & making yourself vomit up to 10x times per day on ur worst days is that your teeth and gums will eventually give out on you (bc it doesn’t make a difference if you’ve been good & it doesn’t matter how well you’ve taken care of your teeth for the last x years) and u will be 30 years old crying to your very sweet and kind dentist when she tells you about the 1 million things that are wrong with ur teeth
#anyway i feel strongly compelled to quit my job and dedicate my entire life to speaking out abt eating disorders#& doing research & writing & advocating for people who are suffering#women who are suffering#i think this is honestly my life’s calling!!!! i just don’t know where to start#you know movies glamorize having anorexia & it’s always like: she is the most beautiful girl in the world…but so sad…she doesn’t eat :(#i need to make movies that have scenes like that one chapter of i’m glad my mom died:#where jennette has been throwing up like 15 times a day and her tooth falls out#and she’s literally just like: yeah i’ll deal with that later#& instead of writing about a beautiful skinny white girl who is upset about eating carrots at inpatient#i would just force people to read/watch the things in this thread:#https://www.reddit.com/r/EDAnonymous/s/H1C3JZyvFK#because that’s the reality#the one comment in that thread ‘i ate something poisonous because i hoped it would make me puke’#like yeah same. LOL. & i always thought i was the only one so fucked in the head#anyway society is very cruel to women and i need to do something about it. genuinely whereeee do i even begin#i guess i have been writing a lot abt my personal experience and all the disgusting things ppl like to avoid talking abt#and how my mother made me this way etc#i could def make a memoir out of it. maybe i’ll do that.#i would love to have more options than just. trauma porn.#ah anyway maybe i’ll open a nonprofit. IDK. i just need to make a lot of noise somehow
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