#i need like five consecutive vacations

[abitterberryblog]

this is kinda simple because i got burnt out like midway into this drawing but 🙏🙏 here is the queen!! and also bonus old sketches under the cut

lanistia in full color!! ok i swear i'll redraw it in detail when i can...but right now my brain is just fuzzy white noise and occasionally blank buzzing sounds. still, here is my girlie. one of my fav characters fr.

bonus: here are the original sketches i made of her so you can see them in one little post !!

[silentmajesticfox]

Bellyache

Chapter I: coming home

A/N: its been so long since ive wrote something, and in my drunk brain i felt i could start a series. if its ass, please let me know. i will always take the criticism and also- i just needed to push myself and think maybe its worth it., Gojo is always worth it. i hope whoever reads this enjoys, and t6hank you. <3

Y/N was finally back in Tokyo, coming all the way from Europe, as she had went on a vacation in a sense, it was mainly to learn more techniques around the world and to clear her mind, finally doing some things she dreamed of, she never thought this day would come where she would allow herself to be back here. A lot of people were crowded, conversations buzzing, and car horns going off in the sunset as she crossed the street to go to the bar and food place she had liked going with Shoko for years. She was quite nervous to see her best-friend, though they had kept in close contact.

 It has been about a year since Suguru Geto died, and a little less than a year since she saw that white haired, he-who-shall-not-be-named, asshole. It was like loosing a best friend, and a lover all in one consecutive week.. y/n and Satoru had had an on and off relationship for the past 11 years, from puppy love all the way to a more serious relationship at certain points, even marriage and children had been considered. But what honestly made her leave, was there last interaction and most recent break-up..

*flashback, one year ago*

                Satoru and y/n were sitting on the stairs outside of the school, they had been sitting in silence for about ten minutes, staring off into the trees and the sky, and avoiding looking at eachother. She clears her throat, knowing it is out of character for Satoru not to say anything for even five minutes, his whole demeanor had changed and he was deep in thought, she felt like she wasn’t even there.

His blue eyes dart over to her, he didn’t need the six eyes to see she was struggling and having internal conflict with herself. However, with everything that had transpired, he really didn’t care anymore, having lost the only best friend he ever had, it was like a chunk of his life essence was stripped from him all over again. “Hm…?” Was all he could muster up, still staring at her. Y/n kind of looked shocked as her eyes met his beautiful blue ones, she mustered up a fake smile that lightly graced her lips, before pondering what to say to him.

“You know... you can talk to me, right?... I know he was your best friend, but it’s been years, Toru’… He chose that path…” Y/n treated lightly, not even doing small talk and just getting what was in her mind off. He scoffed in response, his white brows crinkling as he shook his head, looking away as he felt anger bottling up and threatening to explode any second. “Stop acting like you know everything, y/n. It doesn’t concern you, especially because you weren’t close to him like I was... So, stop prying and acting like you care, because I know you fucking don’t.” The venomous words leaving his mouth, he knew it wasn’t her fault, but he was just so angry. At Suguru, at himself.

Y/n was taken aback, she stared at him, something about the way she was watching him slowly loose himself all over again would make her tear up on spot. She had to stand her ground at least, knowing how stubborn he could be. “I’m not saying that, Satoru… I’m just saying I don’t want a repeat of what happened years ago.. and that you have me to talk to or vent to, its okay to be upset.. You don’t have to take it out on me-“ With that his eyes roll, pushing up his glasses and almost instantly coming back at her. “Repeat what happened years ago? Like it was a chore for you? Are you serious? Like it was you going through that? How about you just leave me alone, you’re honestly just making it worse and I’m done entertaining this conversation..” His words were dark.

“If that’s how you fucking feel, Gojo. I’m not going to sit here and be a verbal punching bag you you while I’m trying to fucking help-. You know I didn’t mean it like that, so get your head out of your ass.” She spit back, adjusting herself and standing up and crossing her arms, a stern look with watery eyes threatened to spill. Much to his dismay, he kept going, saying the words that would end them forever. “You honestly have ruined my life in every way possible, I wish it was you instead of Suguru that left back then, I wish it was you who I had to kill and not him… So do me a favor and fucking leave for good.” And that was final. Tears started streaming as she reached out to smack him, much to her dismay due to his limitless being active almost 24/7. His ocean orbs stared up at her, almost in shock, as she spoke one last time to him. “Fine, wish you would have told me sooner, so I didn’t waste years on you… Have fun with your dead best friend, Gojo. Never speak to me again.” And with that, her heels turned as she stormed off to her dorm. He sat there in silence, even the birds stopped chirping. He then realized that was the worst decision of his life.

*end flashback*

Y/n opened the door to the bar, and the bell jingled. Her weary eyes searched around, until they finally met Brown ones she was desperately searching for. Excitement and Nervousness spread through her, emitting something like a squeal as she practically ran to her best friend, who was standing up from her seat, before crashing into her and almost making both of them fall. “Y/n calm down… We’re too old for this shit..” Shoko said as y/n hugged her so tight, she could barely choke out those words. After almost a full minute, y/n let go giggling to herself and sitting down. “I really can’t help myself, I mean look at you, you’re hair is so long, Shoko!!” Shoko smiled before flipping her hair, a waiter on his way looking at y/n before greeting her. “Long time so see, Y/n!!! Glad to have you back, do you want the usual for both of you?” He asked and she nodded excitingly. “Can you actually make that a double shot for me?” He nods before walking off and Shoko eying y/n.

“A double? y/n its barely 6?” She judged, before they both started laughing. “Never leave me for that long again or I swear I will kill you myself.” Shoko stated, lighting a cigarette and handing one to y/n and lighting both of theres with her lighter.

[purplesurveys]

1906

Are any of your friendships on a fine line? No, I feel very secure with the circle I have, as much smaller as it's gotten over the years.

If I search your room will I find birth control? No but from my room you will hear my neighbors who for some reason seem to have 10 fucking kids under one roof just screeching all day, which also works as birth control.

Do you expect any of your ex’s to call or text you? Her, setting her pride down to reach out first? Not in this lifetime.

Have you ever witnessed a birth? Nope.

Where’s your favorite place to be when you feel depressed? I like being either in my bed, in my car parked somewhere away, or in a coffee shop.

Are you currently looking forward to tomorrow? Only because it'll still be the weekend then, but we don't necessarily have any plan set for tomorrow.

When was the last time you held someone’s hand? Maybe a few weeks ago when I held Angela's hand.

Have you ever faked sick? Sure but very sparingly. I hate lying, and since I don't file many leaves anyway I usually just use my normal vacation leaves.

Do you wear hoodies to bed? Absolutely never, unless it's Jan/Feb.

Are you currently wearing jeans? No. The weather here is constantly hot and humid so after a day of wearing jeans I usually want them off of me as soon as possible lol.

Do you buy eggnog around the holidays? I've never had eggnog and it's not at all a staple in this part of the world. I personally find it appetizing though and would like to try it at least once.

Have you gone to a coffee shop within the past week? [i.e. Starbucks] Yes, I was just in one a couple of hours ago.

Would you like to be able to read thoughts? It would be terrible if it ran 24/7 lmao, but it would be convenient to have that ability when I need to understand someone better.

Are you often the last one to understand a joke? Hehehe, sometimes yeah...

Your first black eye: Did you give it or get it? What's with black eyes and why is this the second consecutive survey to mention them lol? Anyway, I've never had it and I've never given it.

Do you think baseball is a dying professional sport in America? I don't think so? Isn't the Ohtani guy still huge over there? In any case, at least in the eyes of a foreigner, American sports still scream baseball and American football to me.

Does playing the guitar make a guy more attractive? Not to me.

Have you ever slept in a tent, indoors or out? I've slept in a tent outdoors but it was super tame. It wasn't in the middle of the forest or anything like that, and it was just held in school as an overnight activity lmao.

What does your hair look like at the moment? Acceptable.

Are you mad right now? No, just tired.

Who did you spend your summer with last year? My work.

Did you eat a cookie today? Not today but yesterday.

Have you heard of wreck this journal? Yes. I so wanted one when I was a teenager, but I never got one because I knew I was nowhere near creative enough to make something artsy out of it.

Do you know any one who lives in California? That's like one of the migration hotspot states for Filipinos lmao. I know tons of people who've moved there or who vacation there.

Have you ever been told you were a good writer? Yes.

What do you put on your baked potatoes? Uh, just bacon and cheese. I don't have baked potatoes much.

Have you ever been on a farm? Sure.

Last three texts on your phone are from? All related to work as I don't use text for much else.

What are you listening to? I can hear my fan whirring and birds chirping while taking refuge on my aircon. :)

Are you one to take naps? No. I find sleeping to be a waste of time looooool; my free time is very very precious to me and I want to spend as much of it as possible catching up on the things I like doing the most.

Did you ever have braces? I had them but didn't wear my retainers frequently enough so they got crooked again, so I currently have them again for round two lol.

Have you kissed anyone in the last five days? Nope.

Are you afraid of flying? No. I like being on airplanes. Of course watching videos of plane crashes makes me feel terrible, but I try not to think of the possibility when I do fly.

Do you have freckles? I don't.

Do you have plans for today? Just this and maybe playing my game. I just want to do nothing for as long as I can hahaha.

Would you rather date someone five years older or five years younger than you? Older. I don't know if I can manage a 21 year old...

Why aren’t you texting the last person you kissed? We haven't talked in nearly four hours; we just don't need to anymore.

If you had to live off one type of fruit, which would you pick? Probably avocado.

What were you doing at 7:45AM this morning? Fast asleep.

What was the last thing you drank? Coffee that was way too strong haha. My chest was on overdrive for a while but fortunately it's mellowed down a bit now.

Where did you get the shirt your wearing? Zara.

Do you plan on sleeping in tomorrow? No. 

How often do you drink Monster? I've never had it.

Are you easy to get along with? I try to be, but I understand how I could be difficult to crack at first. I've just learned to be more guarded with my boundaries, that's all.

Are you short? 5'1".

Can you ever get enough of mac ‘n’ cheese? The taste does get tiring eventually, especially if I got a big serving; but it's great while I'm still enjoying it haha.

Are you allergic to nuts or dairy products? Not allergic, but I am lactose intolerant so I always need to get alternatives for my milk.

Do you have trust issues? Yes.

Is there someone you want to let go of? Nobody. I've never had a problem cutting off who needs to be cut off.

Do you think age matters in relationships?  Personally, it does.

Do you have any regrets? Sure.

Has anyone ever called the cops on you? Nope.

How old are you? 26.

Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? Nah.

Do you go to church every Sunday? I do with my family. I don't really have a choice until I'm able to move out. I never pay attention though and just use the hour to daydream.

Can you recall the last time you liked someone? I guess, yeah. It was four years ago since I last had feelings like that.

Do you like your height? It'll be cool to be a little taller, but it's not something I'm actively conscious about.

Is the last person of the opposite sex you texted single? Discounting work texts, the last guy I talked to isn't.

Could you go a week without brushing your teeth? Absolutely not.

What day is it? Saturday.

Are you usually awake at midnight? I am, yeah.

Does it get really cold where you live? Maybe in like January or February, but that's it.

When you get home from school / work do you change into your pjs right away? Not always right away, because sometimes I'm too tired to do anything else. Those times, I'd just change right before I go to bed.

Have you ever been peer pressured to smoke pot? There was never any peer pressure; me trying it once was my own decision.

Have you ever played the game Sims 3? I don't think I have.

What is the temperature currently in the town you live in? 29C.

Do you ever actually drink milk alone? Nope.

If you don’t have one already, would you consider getting an iPhone? Yeah, it's what I've had since high school.

What year were you born in? 1998.

[bizknnect]

5 Essential Tips for Staying Energized at Work

Summer vacation is still in the back of our minds as we head back to work. For most people, getting back into the rhythm of work takes some getting used to. How can I get through the workday without excessive snacking? What is the best thing to drink? How to avoid the lunch slump? Whether you work in an office full-time or work from home (part-time), this article will help you stay energized at work. Here are 5 tips. 

1. Drink Enough

Is your desk full of empty cups and mugs at the end of the day? You're not alone; most office workers drink an average of four cups of coffee a day, and sometimes more. Not to mention the energy drinks that sometimes get pushed back. Caffeine boosts your energy, but it lowers it just as quickly. Additionally, you may experience restlessness, headaches, and palpitations. It's no surprise that water and tea are good for your health. Drinking enough water can help you concentrate and keep your energy levels high.

2. Watch what you eat

Do you regularly eat greasy snacks from the canteen or do you prefer to have long lunches? And you know the infamous after-lunch dip? Probably. A good way to deal with this is to eat several small meals a day. This keeps your digestion busy and doesn't have to do too much at once. Choose healthy snacks and lunches consisting of fruit, yogurt, nuts, and vegetables. Additionally, homemade food is generally better than buying something straight from a vending machine. It can be a pain, but it's worth preparing your meals the night before. Eventually, you will have enough common sense to know what to eat and what not to eat. Having five consecutive birthdays at the office? Then it might make sense to hold back on a few pieces of cake.

3. Keep moving!

Research shows that office workers don't move around much during work. It is advisable to remain seated, especially in the morning (when everyone is still full of energy). Still, exercising every 30 minutes is good for your digestion and circulation. It is best for our bodies to regularly repeat standing, walking, and sitting. This may seem like a lot of work, but it's easier than you think. For example, you can offer your department drinks from time to time. Don't forget to replenish water regularly. Move the trash can and printer away from your workspace. Plus, you can walk to your colleague's desk for short meetings. This is usually more efficient than sending an email or chatting.

4. Maintain a Quiet Environment

Make sure your office attire is sharp before you go out. However, this is not necessarily the case when it comes to the workplace. From scattered office supplies to a growing collection of empty cups. In fact, the better organized your workplace is, the more productive you will be. Ultimately, there will be less confusion from distracting stimuli. There are many ways to organize your desk. For example, working digitally as much as possible saves on paperwork. Plus, a to-do list is much easier to manage than a bunch of drafts or sticky notes. Remember, this is different for everyone. For example, some people are more creative in chaotic environments. Do you find it difficult to keep your workplace clean? Next, schedule time each week to get everything properly organized.

5. Take frequent breaks

I need to talk to this colleague about a project quickly. I really need to call the customer. lunch? Please do not worry. This is done behind the scenes on your computer because the email needs to be sent as quickly as possible. In a dynamic job with fast-approaching deadlines, it's tempting to keep working in between. But that's mentally exhausting! No matter how organized you are, no one can work efficiently for eight hours straight. Rest gives your brain a healthy reset. Clearing your mind also gives you a new perspective on your work. Grab your jacket or coat and take a walk around your neighbourhood during your lunch break. You can also invite colleagues to join. Are you having a busy day at work? Plan to take frequent breaks.

Source URL:-https://bizaccenknnect.com/blog/5-essential-tips-for-staying-energized-at-work/

[idkwhattitlevsblognamemeans]

May 17th, 2024

I am pissed off that my fyp on tiktok and as well as on instagram a bit is slowly letting eating disorder content in. Or maybe its not outwardly eating disorder content but it trickles in and makes me think and be inspired about disordered eating.

Heres been my past little bit:

Sideplots:

Rhodes Scholarship

Circus School (full time away from the office)

Mo Keps

I've been coming to work (in the office) like baloney? every week and I'm convinced that nobody has noticed but also maybe they have and I am the idiot?

Artem invited me to a cottage with his friends this upcoming weekend. And I don't know how the fuck I should have played that. Whatever I"ve done though has been wrong and incorrect.

I don't like how I feel like I'm an idiot when I'm around him: he makes you think about him because he doesn't think about you at all. He is not emotionally available and look at what happened to Hadrian and look at what happened to me last time *emotional unavailability* was in the chat.

I want to go to circus school and work full time tee hee hee, I need to call the union and figure some stuff out.

If you are having an issue in the workplace and are not sure of how to proceed, please contact our labour relations team at labourrelations@acfo-acaf.com or call ACFO-ACAF’s office toll-free number 1-877-728-0695.

I'm reading the collective agreement for my job rn, here are some highlights:

An employee shall earn vacation leave credits at the following rate for each calendar month during which the employee receives pay for at least seventy-five (75) hours:

75 hours is 2 weeks. meaning I will get credit for june and july however if I didn't split them over months, I might not have

I get 9.375 hours of vacation time a month until my 5th year of service occurs

An employee is entitled to vacation leave with pay to the extent of the employee’s earned credits but an employee who has completed six (6) months of continuous service shall receive an advance of credits equivalent to the anticipated credits for the current vacation year.

Where in any vacation year all of the vacation leave credited to an employee has not been scheduled, the unused portion of the vacation leave up to a maximum of two hundred and sixty-two decimal five (262.5) hours credit shall be carried over into the following vacation year. All vacation leave credits in excess of two hundred and sixty-two decimal five (262.5) hours will be paid at the employee’s hourly rate of pay as calculated from the classification prescribed in the employee’s certificate of appointment of the employee’s substantive position on the last day of the vacation year.

30.09 When a medical certificate is requested by the Employer, the employee will be reimbursed for the cost of the certificate, to a maximum of thirty-five dollars ($35.00), upon provision of acceptable proof, for periods of absence of three (3) consecutive days or less.

36.03 Subject to clause 36.02 and operational requirements, an employee may be granted leave without pay for the care of immediate family in accordance with the following conditions:

an employee shall notify the Employer in writing as far in advance as possible but not less than four (4) weeks in advance of the commencement date of such leave, unless, because of urgent or unforeseeable circumstances, such notice cannot be given;

leave granted under this clause shall be for a minimum period of three (3) weeks;

the total leave granted under this article shall not exceed five (5) years during an employee’s total period of employment in the public service;

leave granted for a period of one (1) year or less shall be scheduled in a manner which ensures continued service delivery.

Article 38: leave without pay for personal needs

38.01 Leave without pay will be granted for personal needs in the following manner:

subject to operational requirements, leave without pay for a period of up to three (3) months will be granted to an employee for personal needs;

subject to operational requirements, leave without pay for more than three (3) months but not exceeding one (1) year will be granted to an employee for personal needs;

an employee is entitled to leave without pay for personal needs twice (2) under each of paragraphs (a) and (b) during the employee’s total period of employment in the public service. Leave can only be granted for a second (2nd) time under each of (a) and (b) of this clause ten (10) years after the first leave was granted. Leave without pay granted under this clause may not be used in combination with maternity or parental leave without the consent of the Employer.

It feels fake that I have a government job with benefits?

I applied for some free training just now,

I just looked in HRMS and I have 24.375 hours of sick leave (3.25 days of work) and 93.75 hours of vacation time (12.5 days). also a 7.5 hours from Wednesday May 8th that I worked. altogether thats

June 14th: work from home, travel to montreal with Gianna,

June 17 - 21 is 5 days (37.5)

June 24 is Jean Baptiste day

June 25 - 28 is 4 days (30 hours)

July 1 is a holiday

July 2 - July 5 - 4 days (30 hours)

all together that 97.5, less the 7.5 hours I already worked, for a total of 90 hours requested off.

Should I ask if I should use sick days?

Also isn't there leave each year that isn't carried over?

ok Matthieu just came to my office and asked if I could do some overtime work this weekend. I asked to be compensated in vacation days (1.5 times the hours) however I am wondering if I should have taken the cash... like $300? 64,221 / 251 (average amount of working days) = $255 a day * 1.5 = $382.5 for a day of overtime.

[frontproofmedia]

Janibek Alimkhanuly vs. Steven Butler Fight Preview

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By Sina Latif

Follow @Frontproofmedia!function(d,s,id){var js,fjs=d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0],p=/^http:/.test(d.location)?'http':'https';if(!d.getElementById(id))(document, 'script', 'twitter-wjs');

Published: May 13, 2023

Janibek Alimkhanuly (13-0, 8 KOs) will defend his WBO middleweight title against Steven Butler (32-3-1, 26 KOs) at the Stockton Arena in Stockton, California, USA on Saturday, 13th May 2023.

This Top Rank promoted show will be aired on ESPN and ESPN+ in the US.

As an amateur, Janibek won Gold at the 2013 World and Asian Championships. In October 2016, he made his professional debut in October 2016 with a first-round TKO against Milton Nunez. In May 2022, Janibek viciously KO’d Danny Dignum with a huge uppercut in the second round to win the WBO interim title. The WBO subsequently ordered Demetrius Andrade, the full WBO champion at the time, to defend against interim titlist Janibek. Andrade vacated his title and moved up to super middleweight, and Janibek was upgraded to official WBO middleweight champion.

In his first title defense and most recent outing, Alimkhanuly defeated Britain’s Denzel Bentley via unanimous decision.

Entering his second consecutive title defense, Janibek has aspirations beyond this fight. Speaking at the final press conference through a translator, Janibek said: “I don’t want to defend my title every time. I want to unify my titles. I think it’s going to be an easy win for me.”

Janibek is a massive favorite entering this fight and is expected to prevail and move on to bigger and better things. With the likes of Gennady Golovkin, Liam Smith, Jaime Munguia, and Felix Cash all ranked in the top five of the WBO’s rankings, if Janibek is unable to secure a desired unification against the likes of WBA champion Erislandy Lara or WBC champ Jermall Charlo, Janibek has options. With Lara defending his title against Danny Garcia and Charlo dealing with personal issues at the moment, Alimkhanuly may have to wait a bit longer to unify titles.

Butler made his professional debut in March 2014, a first-round TKO victory against Jean Francois Plourde. Butler challenged Ryota Murata for the WBA middleweight title in December 2019, losing via 5th-round TKO. Butler is now on a four-fight winning streak, with all four fights in 2022. The NABF middleweight champion’s most recent outing was a unanimous decision victory against Joshua Conley in December 2022.

Butler appears confident he can beat the man perceived by some as the middleweight division’s avoided man.

“To be honest, when the fight was mentioned to me, my first question was “The champion is Janibek? Who is this guy,” Butler said to BoxingScene.com. “Then they explained how Andrade vacated his title, and Janibek upgraded their little belt (the interim WBO middleweight title) for the big one.

“So after that, I became familiar with him before I took the fight. I believe Janibek has a really good style for me.”

Janibek has recently been perceived as the heir to the throne of his fellow Kazakh, Golovkin. When Golovkin vacated his belts, Janibek announced it was now his time to collect all the belts. If Janibek is indeed intending to take over the reins from his great idol, he needs to start dispatching opponents in a more emphatic fashion than he has against the likes of Hassan N’Dam and Bentley and really seek the biggest fights. The historically revered middleweight division appears to be going through a weak era at the moment. If the Kazakh wishes to be a great champion of any substance, this is his opportunity to grab the 160lbs division by the jugular.

For now, Butler is a worthy opponent. He can certainly crack, with the power to cause an upset, albeit with a leaky defense that calls for caution against the hard-hitting champion.

[tahitiwoke]

032.   a quiet hospital room  👀

ACN: THIS IS BREAKING NEWS COMING OUT OF DALLAS, TEXAS WHERE MULTIPLE SOURCES ARE REPORTING THAT THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES HAS BEEN SHOT. WE GO LIVE TO OUR MAN ON THE GROUND, STEVE, WHAT CAN YOU TELL US?

he had been in a meeting. the mounted television on the wall had been running a ticker tape of some twitter stream about a plane crash in the indian ocean; the meeting had been boring, something that really could have been an email, with a congressman who wanted face time with the president and when she couldn't get that, settled for face time with veep and when she couldn't get that? well. here's phil. doing the work of his deputy and -- the tv had caught his attention.

ACN: IT'S CHAOS HERE RIGHT NOW, ELLIOT, THE PRESIDENT WAS ABOUT TO GIVE A SPEECH ON THE NEW GUN CONTROL MEASURES AND A SHOOTER CAME OUT OF NOWHERE. NO INFORMATION HAS BEEN GIVEN AS OF YET, THE SECRET SERVICE ARE UNCLEAR IF IT WAS A SNIPER OR SOMEONE IN THE CROWD.

it takes eleven days for him to make it to dallas. the schedule is incredibly tight; there is so much to do and say about the twenty-fifth, there's a lot that needs to be parsed out, a lot that needs to be changed over. to his credit, carroll march does a stellar job at pretending like he is in any way equipped to be the president of the united states and provides as stable look to the resolute desk; don't get comfortable, motherfucker. the news is in frenzy, trading on the stock exchange is suspended for two days until claire wakes up, and phil doesn't text or call. at least, not claire. he calls chris.

their first conversation is very short and the ones following over the next ten days are shorter; it's updates, work, professional. phil cannot tell if this is something he prefers or not but he'd like to think over the course of the little while they've known one another, they have built some sort of rapport. maybe. or maybe not.

phil pointedly asks how is the president not claire. if he thinks too hard about her in personal terms, he'll go insane, he'll drive to fucking texas if he has to, and he can't afford that sort of weakness. he's got to be the good man in the storm right now and he'd rather get shot in the face than let her down.

so it takes eleven days.

( you ever leave this place? march asks one night. it's the fifth consecutive evening phil has slept on his couch. he showers in the white house locker room; his suit is wrinkled, his shirt is one he borrowed from the back of a door in chris's currently vacated office, too small in the cuffs and the shoulders. go home, pal. sleep in a bed. we'll still be here tomorrow. )

the nurse argues with him for fifteen minutes, threatens him with security after another five when he tells her to just fucking google me! the yelling attracts the attention of the secret service; of meechum, of scott. phil is only a little smug when they let him through. gets less smug when he sees the state of chris. they stand out in the hallway, both unwilling to make the first move inside where they know she's asleep.

ACN: PRESS SECRETARY CHRIS BRADY SPOKE TO REPORTERS EARLIER TODAY WEARING THE PRESIDENT'S BLOOD - DOCTORS ARE CURRENTLY OPERATING AND EARLY REPORTS SUGGEST PRESIDENT HALE IS EXPECTED TO MAKE A FULL RECOVERY. FROM ALL OF US AT ACN, MA'AM, GODSPEED.

chris looks worn to the bone. hunched and empty and small when the man has never been small, not for as long as phil has known him; he looked stretched thin. have you slept at all? he asks and chris just shrugs, the answer obvious. have you eaten? another noncommittal movement. i can stay here for a while if you want to go and sort yourself out. you should really get a shower and try to calm down a little. it's advice a million and one people have given him in the past, when emotions are high and every action feels like a reaction to something else, when running on autopilot is starting to falter.

after the longest time, chris does eventually nod and shake phil's hand and isn't there when phil emerges a few hours later.

[mateovac]

howdy y’all, name’s chai, and i’m suupper excited to be here! i’ve brought u my bb, mateo, matty if he likes ur muse enough, and havoc in the ring ( he’s a professional fighter ). under the cut i have some facts and bg on him, as well as some wanted plots. if u wanna plot, pls leave me a like and i’ll come annoy u in ur inbox. love y’all already !!

*  ──  (  emilio sakraya  ,  twenty four  ,  cis male  ,  he/him  )  welcome  to  hilton  hills  ,  mateo “havoc” kovac  !  as  a  well  -  known  UFC fighter  ,  we  can’t  believe  you  traveled  all  the  way  from  rio de janeiro, brazil  in  order  to  spend  a  few  months  here  .  you’ve  made  quite  the  name  for  yourself  in  the  tabloids  as  being  -  nonchalant  and  -  stubborn  ,  but  all  we  have  seen  is  how  +  ambitious  and  +  dependable  you  are  since  you  arrived  a  few  days  ago  .  if  we  were  to  compare  you  to  anything  ,  it  would  be  the crackle of the wood as the flame dies out, the silent buzz in your ears amidst a stadium of deafening cheers, and the sound created by the union of turbulent waves and cliff side stone on a stormy night  .  make  sure  to  unpack  in  time  to  make  it  to  the  bonfire  tonight  !  i  hear  they  are  going  to  play  loyalty by kendrick lamar  just  for  you  !  [  chai  ,  21+  ,  they/them  ,  est  ]

name: mateo kovac nicknames: matt, matty gender: cis man pronouns: he/him age: 24 occupation: UFC fighter height: 185 cm eye color: hazel hair color: dark brown

tidbits

mateo is the second oldest of five siblings ( older sister, two younger brothers, and youngest is a sister as well — his parents really wanted another daughter ).

didn’t start off rich, but they found luck in the restaurant business and now they own at least 10 different restaurants across the country.

grew up in the hilton’s but moved to brazil around 19 to start his training. he’s been back and forth ever since then.

got into fighting pretty much right out of high school and didn’t bother with college. nickname is “havoc” bc his coaches thought it was funny that it was similar to his last name kovac, and bc once he sees an opening, he creates havoc with his swings.

currently in the lightweight division, with 6 fights under his belt, 4 wins and 2 losses, though last three have consecutively been wins.

doesn’t come off as very personable during interviews, and that’s because he’s not. he’s in the UFC for the love of fighting, not for the fame of it.

a cat daddy. has three cats, two rescues and one he took from his friend. it’s not odd for him to be spotted with a stray cat on his heels; he seems to attract them for whatever reason.

personality wise, he can come off as cold and aloof at most times, especially if he doesn’t like you ( he’s not one to hide his dislike ). with his friends, however, he can flip a switch almost completely and become a different person.

not really a party animal. tends to be the old man of the group, going home early and getting in his hours of sleep so he can wake up early and work out in the morning,

an excellent cook. tends to happen when you live alone and you need to shovel in a certain amount of calories. at one point, it becomes tiring eating just plain chicken for protein all the time.

wanted plots

the bad influence. mateo lives a very healthy life-style, due to his job. he has to keep his body in the best shape, so that means barely any drinking, absolutely no drugs, and no late nights out because of his strict schedule. well, he did come back to visit for a little vacation, and this friend did always have a way with their words. he finds himself being dragged out to places he doesn’t ever frequent against his better judgement. 

childhood friend. someone he grew up with and knows him better than he knows himself. someone his siblings consider as another addition to the family.

the ex. also happens to be his first love. their rls lasted a while, with him completely head over heels for her, before he finds out that he’s been cheated on, and he breaks it off with her. however, that never stopped her from calling him on her nights out drinking, and it always ended with him picking her up from the club. it’s been a while, but he can’t seem to shake the hold she has over him, though he knows he won’t ever call her his again.

the love interest. okay so i would kinda love for his love interest to be the best friend of his ex? it would be a slow burn type of situation, with discreet glances and secret touches here and there. there’s this immense tension but they don’t ever cross it ( they will down the line tho hehe ) bc they know that it’s wrong. would be slow burn type shi bc im a slvt for that stuff skdjfnsdf

maybe someone he likes to spar with for fun. he needs his exercise on vacation still.

[yoificfinder]

Hi! I was wondering if you would be able to find some time travel/time loop AUs where Victor and Yuuri (and other members of the YoI cast) are thrown around in time please? Thank you so much!

Hi! These are some time travel fics (mix of both canonverse and AUs) I read and enjoyed:

Previous rec of time travel fics where they meet their other self in the other timeline

a great desire to love by lily_winterwood / @omgkatsudonplease [T, 22K]

For some strange, inexplicable, fantastic reason, Yuuri Katsuki and Viktor Nikiforov are trading places. Kimi no Na wa AU.

All Our Yesterdays by @kitsunebi-uk [E, 102K]

York, England, 2120: Yuuri Katsuki is a dime-a-dozen techie, spending his days doing routine repairs at the university. He hangs out with his friend Phichit, goes for a drink, watches holograms. It’s an existence – but is it a life?

Crowood Castle, Yorkshire, 1392: As the son of a baron, Sir Victor Nikiforov makes judgements where lives hang in the balance. As a knight, he must sometimes end them. It’s what he was born to do – but what of the heavy burden on his soul? Death is all too commonplace, while life and love remain elusive.

When a brilliant scientist goes rogue, journeying to the Middle Ages with the world’s first time machine, Yuuri is stunned to be called on as the last hope of preventing her from changing history. After an abrupt departure, he lands at Crowood Castle disguised as an enemy of the Nikiforovs, Sir Justin le Savage – and will need to act the part if he is to survive. It’s a tall order for someone who can barely tell the back end of a horse from the front. But if Ailis, in her own disguise, discovers who he is, his mission will end in a blaze of laser-gun fire. He must not give his real identity away, even to the beguiling knight he’s falling in love with…

Elevators Out of Order by mtothedestiel [E, 31K] *WIP

A Kate and Leopold AU. In 1876, Victor Nikiforov is a handsome duke with an inventive imagination and a dwindling fortune. The search for a wealthy bride brings him to America, and the capital of progress, New York City. Can an encounter with a mysterious stranger offer Victor a future he never dreamed of?

Meanwhile in 2017, physicist turned paper-pusher Yuuri Katsuki is just trying to get through the day, which is tough enough without surprise phone calls from his roommate announcing he has a 19th-century aristocrat out cold on their sofa.

To top things off, it would seem every elevator in Manhattan is suddenly out of order. What a coincidence.

Here Once and Back Again by Cbear2470 [E, 77K] *WIP *Major Character Death

“What?” was all Yuuri could say as a numbness froze over his body.

Something—something wasn’t right. It was then he realized he couldn’t remember getting to the rink. He couldn’t remember even stepping on the ice to start his program.

He couldn’t remember.

He tried to remember.

*

As Yuuri is skating his free skate, he knows something is off. But, he brushes it aside, too focused on executing the program flawlessly.

It isn't until after it's all over that Yuuri comes to discover that he just skated his gold-medal winning, record-breaking program at the 2014-15 Grand Prix Final in Sochi. The very same final Yuuri had once upon a time placed last in over two years ago.

here's to the glory still to be by @foxfireflamequeen [Not Rated, 12K]

“Hi,” says Viktor, smile bright and camera-ready. His hand, when he extends it, is small and delicate. “I think you know who I am, but we haven’t met.”

His accent is very thick, very Russian in a way Yuri has never heard before. He looks from the offered hand to Viktor’s face, barely an inch higher, and tracks his hair, long and pale and spilling over his shoulders. He can’t be older than, well, Yuri.

“No,” says Yuri. “We haven’t.”

in another dimension series by @alykapediaaa [T, 8K]

Summary of first fic in the series

Entertainment >> Celebrity News

Viktor Nikiforov: Finally Found!

SOMERSET – Russian model Viktor Nikiforov, 27, who has been declared missing last May of this year was finally found earlier today. Nikiforov, known as the face of luxury brand Stammi Vicino, was vacationing at Bath, Somerset after a successful season when he suddenly disappeared, leaving all of his belongings, as well as his poodle, behind. Yakov Feltsman, Nikiforov’s manager, has yet to release a statement. Read More.

Life Unwoven by ayn2390 [M, 23K] *Indefinite Hiatus

Five-Time Consecutive Grand Prix Final Winner Katsuki Yuuri meets Five-Time Consecutive Grand Prix Final Winner Victor Nikiforov.

or,

In which things are tangled, and untangled, and tangled again. And Victor will always be there to save Yuuri.

Maelstrom by @feels-like-fire [E, 44K]

Victor Nikiforov is poised to win gold in his fifth consecutive Grand Prix Final. He has the world at his feet, is unparalleled in the sport--right up until a snowstorm blows into Sochi, and he finds himself repeating the same day over and over and over. He stumbles over Yuuri Katsuki, and everything changes.

(Or, the time loop au. Loosely based on Groundhog Day.)

On My Love by RikoJasmine [T, 73K] *WIP

For the second time, the Sochi Grand Prix Finals arrive, and with it a reborn Yuuri Katsuki. “Viktor,” Yuuri thinks over the pounding of his heart, the crowd going silent as the music begins. “I’ll show the world what you meant to me.”

Yuuri often thinks of his life as Before and After Viktor Nikiforov, the marking point being the day Viktor swept into his life and turned his world upside-down. After many years together, an accident leads to Yuuri suddenly waking up in the Before—back in Detroit, before the GPF, before he ever knew Viktor as anything other than his childhood idol.

As if it had all been just a dream.

paso doble by @cafecliche [G, 4K]

"Long before skating, or even ballet, Yuuri would hear about it at festivals, in the boiling humidity of Hasetsu summers dancing the Bon Odori in the streets. He remembered years where Mari would take him home alone, while their parents comforted lingering, distraught dancers. Sometimes, Mari had explained, they were crying because they’d seen lost loved ones. Some cried because they didn’t see who they’d hoped, but a stranger. And some cried because they hadn’t seen anyone at all.

Because it’s not just the steps. The dancers need, even for a second, to feel the exact same thing."

(Or: days before Hot Springs on Ice, Yuuri receives a visitor from another time.)

The League of the Green Carnation by @abarero [M, 62K]

There was one golden rule to being a Time Scientist: do not bring home anything that was a fixed point in history. This meant most artifacts, extinct animals and the like were permissible. Historical figures? Not so much.

But what about an author? Namely, Yuuri’s favorite author, who was murdered in 1887. Could he be saved?

Well. Yuuri was sure as hell about to find out.

Turn Back the Clock by IronScript [T, 59K] *WIP

When Yuuri and Viktor wake up over thirty years in the past, they don't know what to do. Does the other remember?

Luckily that particular question is quickly answered and they can relax slightly, but what about afterwards? Viktor was brought back to right before his first Olympics, and Yuuri isn’t even old enough to compete in Seniors’!

Then there's the fact that they're still very much in love, but a physical relationship would be illegal (and would gross them both out considering Yuuri's age), and they can't count on anyone to just trust them not to do anything age inappropriate. So maybe being long-distance (with as many in-person meetings as possible) would be better until Yuuri becomes a legal adult physically, never mind his actual age.

But it's hard to behave and act naturally when you're forced to be apart from your husband of twenty years, especially during one of the most stressful parts of anyone's life, so Yuuri and Viktor have to distract themselves somehow, right?

Right.

And if everyone around them ends up completely confused and blindsided at their sudden changes (though admittedly they seem to have changed for the better), then so be it!

[maraudingforflesh]

SakuAtsu

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29129124/chapters/71509197

again, like this (55,735 words); they hook up for the first time after they’ve both lost at nationals during their last year of high school and then they keep hooking up even when kiyoomi is in college and atsumu is in the pro league

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29004675/chapters/71185563

安心 (Peace of Mind) (84,717 words); this behemoth of a fic is a straight up masterpiece centered on kiyoomi as he grows up and thinks about volleyball and atsumu

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27206239/chapters/66454693

Stick With You (99,365 words); at the start of the pandemic kiyoomi and atsumu end up stuck on an island in the Philippines after the rest of the team manages to

make it home to Japan without them

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29473077/chapters/72398289

ATSU101: how to fall in love with your fake boyfriend (110,679 words); college!au in which atsumu needs a fake date to a party and kiyoomi needs a fake boyfriend to scare off a suitor

https://archiveofourown.org/works/30823448

Uncover (3,928 words); 5 times the team realizes kiyoomi and atsumu are closer than they thought +1 time they get an explanation

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26645923

Through the Years (14,376 words); au where they’re high school sweethearts who broke up before kiyoomi joined the jackals but a team trip and a blizzard might help them reconcile

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28938666

No Hard Feelings (9,313 words); they’re fwb but they’re also much more than that even if feelings are hard and kiyoomi takes a while to figure it out

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29260299/chapters/71852220

but we're not, like, in love (17,303 words); the team makes them share a room since they’re both so keen on random hookups during away games and they start hooking up with each other but they’re not like in love or whatever

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25394974

lay it on me (no, really) (4,261 words); atsumu volunteers to be kiyoomi’s body pillow during away game hotel stays

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27976293/chapters/68521347

as long as you’re drunk (43,739 words); inunaki tells the team about an article he read that says people who sleep together five consecutive times always fall in love and kiyoomi and atsumu figure their current count of 13 times is really only 4 when you eliminate the times they were drunk so as long as one or both of them is drunk they can keep having sex without falling in love

https://archiveofourown.org/works/30624719

When I say I love you, only you know what I mean (20,778 words); they’re best friends and roommates and they’re going through shit in their own ways and atsumu brings kiyoomi on vacation with him

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26250040/chapters/63894739

Dysfunctional (27,175 words); their love story starts in high school, but they need some time to grow up and really be able to make this thing work

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27443362/chapters/67088767

Within Sight, Within Mind (25,954 words); when kiyoomi heads to college and atsumu heads to the pro league they start Skyping to stream volleyball matches together and things progress from there

https://archiveofourown.org/works/30528402

lovin' you is a gift (in and of itself) (17,270 words); kiyoomi showers atsumu with gifts but atsumu doesn’t need to have his love bought

https://archiveofourown.org/works/30654398/chapters/75630854

didnt see this comin (6,072 words); teammates, best friends, and now roommates

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28666158/chapters/70272810

Smoke and Mirrors (48,713 words); a photo of them making out at a charity event goes viral - cue fake dating and complicated feelings

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28675323

habits shaped like you (5,314 words); domestic roommates content is the shit y’all (also I’m a sucker for atsumu being soft)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/31431962/chapters/77739170

The Dos and Don’ts of Loving Sakusa Kiyoomi (15,076 words); the team has a competition to see who can get kiyoomi to smile or laugh the most and atsumu really wants to win

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27843829

two pump chumps (12,646 words); kiyoomi throws their competition for most service aces leading to this very sweet fic that is mostly just porn

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25760554

every action has an equal and opposite reaction (10,485 words); it takes a Calvin Klein ad for kiyoomi to realize he’s in love with atsumu

https://archiveofourown.org/works/30744863

Roll On, Seventh Wheel (8,857 words); atsumu is finally kiyoomi’s best friend but now apparently every member of their team wants to be kiyoomi’s boyfriend

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26703058

Clipped To You (8,174 words); kiyoomi starts wearing hair clips and it’s kind of ruining atsumu’s life

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25675576

I Promise To Show Up (24,169 words); soulmates!au in which kiyoomi can see the red string of fate but he wishes he couldn’t

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29512401

Love Like This (12,433 words); in which kiyoomi is a college student who doesn’t want to go to a party and atsumu is his best friend who’s already gone pro and makes him go to the party

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29607435

laid bare, right there (26,690 words); 5 times they tell each other what to do +1 time they don’t need to - a love story told using alcohol as an extended metaphor

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25637944/chapters/62238292

Some Memories, We May Keep (31,552 words); moments missing from the canon in which they fall in love and atsumu contemplates the value of memories

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26609455

the affective presence of our black and white reruns (19,550 words); atsumu and kiyoomi meet at the youth training camp and atsumu wants him and they keeps meeting and seeing each other and atsumu keeps wanting even when they’re on the same team even when they’re sleeping together

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25748848/chapters/62528731

parallax error: angle of inclination (10,986 words); the story of their relationship from the time kiyoomi joins the black jackals to their first kiss as told by atsumu

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26213260/chapters/63796210

parallax error: line of sight (11,642 words); companion piece for the above fic telling the story from kiyoomi’s pov

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25525333/chapters/61930975

Tale as old as time (14,448 words); taking pictures of somebody just bc you like being around them and watch to capture the moment so you can post it and brag about getting to be part of that is so intimate y’all the onsen trip in this fic took me out

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26529025

golden ties, fluffy pillows and plastic wraps (14,862 words); atsumu convinces kiyoomi to attend a gala dinner with him and even gets him to coordinate their outfits so they match (y’all the other fics in this series are also so good pls read)

https://archiveofourown.org/series/1911892

know you better & related stories (series); they don’t click when kiyoomi first joins the black jackals but they make an effort to get to know each other for the sake of volleyball

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28847175

my first kiss (went a little like this) (6,384 words); atsumu offers to teach kiyoomi how to kiss

https://archiveofourown.org/series/1883938

we call everything on the ice, "love" (series); figure skating!au in which they start as a pair then move to singles skating then fall back together eventually

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23589403

three roses and a smile (19,768 words); academia!au in which kiyoomi is a surgeon and atsumu is a microbiology researcher

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25849213/chapters/62802427

Above Average. (27,498 words); kiyoomi brings atsumu home to meet his family and it doesn’t exactly go well

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28736619

gold rush (18,053 words); atsumu makes it his mission to befriend kiyoomi once he joins the jackals and he’s nothing if not persistent

https://archiveofourown.org/series/1864450

This love isn’t crazy (series); their relationship chronicled by vlogs

https://archiveofourown.org/works/30734699

2AM Solace (8,999 words); running into atsumu in the laundry room in the middle of the night became part of kiyoomi’s routine

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22859008

Notice (7,034 words); atsumu is the third person to find out about his own crush on kiyoomi

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25444576

The Jacket In Your Closet (8,681 words); atsumu gives kiyoomi his jacket when he’s having a panic attack and kiyoomi holds onto it for years

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27190837

Confessions of a V-League Setter (3,309 words); kiyoomi has never been confessed to and atsumu intends to fix that

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27637051

Intertwined (25,886 words) soulmates!au in which you body swap with your soulmate

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27028369/chapters/65984323

Better Together (17,004 words); atsumu proposes with a Twinkie while he’s drunk and kiyoomi still says yes

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27912220

The Love Language of Hair Toner (6,369 words); soulmates!au in which you have a strip of hair the same color as your soulmate’s

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28464351

intervention fer yer weird obsession (5,186 words); atsumu is a little obsessed with kiyoomi’s moles

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24599536/chapters/59422036

Who Could Have Seen This Coming? (16,706 words); kiyoomi invites atsumu over on impulse bc atsumu is having a bad day and it turns out kiyoomi maybe likes him and his company

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28423044/chapters/69648837

confessions (9,587 words); kiyoomi was an atsumu fanboy through high school and university and now that he’s atsumu’s irl boyfriend he can never let atsumu know his secret

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27811675

People Will Say We’re in Love (9,576 words); Twitter thinks they’re together so they try their best to disprove that without much success

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28558275

Notice (5,450 words); atsumu having dyslexia is one of my favorite things and I like this very sweet fic about it

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27074200/chapters/66106201

A Liar’s Truth (49,668 words); kiyoomi is raised to believe that gay people go to hell but atsumu’s thighs might be worth the risk

https://archiveofourown.org/series/1983235

commit to memory (series); domestic fics in which they figure out intimacy with one another

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29350110

On Love and Onigiri (20,595 words); au in which atsumu is an author who really wants to impress book critic kiyoomi

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27757792

i’ll do anything you say (if you say it with your hands) (7,612 words); atsumu draws words and shapes on kiyoomi while they do partner stretches at practice

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27386530

I wish to live in a world (24,835 words); story from komori’s POV centered on how he sees his cousin fall in love and grow up

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29106117

Touch (8,815 words); abo fic in which kiyoomi hates alphas but never really manages to hate atsumu

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28437999

The Self-Inflicted Torment of Loving Miya Atsumu (28,847 words); atsumu keeps flirting with iwaizumi despite oikawa’s return and kiyoomi is suffering (also the first fic in the series is the same story covering the iwaoi perspective and it is also v good and cute)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29869011

liked and subscribed (26,470 words); kiyoomi is a camboy as a side hustle and he starts sexting one of his subscribers

https://archiveofourown.org/works/30228108/chapters/74488023

Stuck in the Sunshine (73,925 words); atsumu is a virgin with a bucket list of firsts and kiyoomi offers to help him check them off

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28620252/chapters/70148025

The Story of Us (98,234 words); after a car accident and a traumatic brain injury kiyoomi is left with amnesia and atsumu is left the only person who still remembers that they were secretly in love with each other

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24419953

liminal spaces (25,969 words); atsumu becomes fixated on his interactions with kiyoomi and has a hard time processing his emotions and

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26996737/chapters/65899813

Accidentally in Lust (40,483 words); atsumu accidentally sends kiyoomi a dick pic and things spiral from there

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29303172

let me be the unspoken letters on your lips (5,975 words); college!au - they’re very open about their relationship and it isn’t their fault if no one believes them - and they were roommates!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29601684

Nails, Hair, Hips, Heels (8,638 words); look they’re both hot and painfully aware of how attractive each other are

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23393830

Brushing my fingers through those silky locks (10,452 words); washing someone’s hair to calm them down from a panic attack is a love language

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27377815/chapters/66904276

today of all days (13,760 words); kiyoomi struggles with mental health and misdiagnoses but he also heals

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25397929

Miscommunicating (4,773 words); they have a fwb deal and atsumu doesn’t realize he’s in love until osamu calls him out for carrying wet wipes

https://archiveofourown.org/series/2049654

Carnaval des Animaux (Carnival of Animals) (series); au in which kiyoomi is an Olympic figure skater

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29935584

two slow dancers (6,250 words); “shut up” “make me” the fic

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24225535

ink blossoms (8,186 words); tattoo artist/florist!au

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29175837

The Devil’s Trill (9,262 words); orchestra!au

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23517244

Orientations in Planetary Orbits (3,813 words); atsumu and kiyoomi accidentally swap sweatshirts after practice and it sends kiyoomi into a bit of a crisis

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29318220

sakusa kiyoomi's boyfriend is who? (8,463 words); apparently kiyoomi has a boyfriend but atsumu doesn’t know that he’s the boyfriend

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28814007/chapters/70667205

Pulling Gravity (30,346 words); their relationship through the years - atsumu has a pull like the sun moving kiyoomi and drawing him into orbit

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29025777

Let The Ground Rumble And Shake (2,411 words); atsumu suffers a head injury during practice

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25694983

four leaf clover (5,973 words); hyper mobility is a curse that kiyoomi has worked to turn into a weapon for volleyball

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28582266/chapters/70049214

Here Is Your Verse (15,556 words); atsumu ends their FWB deal and kiyoomi shouldn’t care but absolutely does

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26044960

halcyon (2,223 words); atsumu isn’t sleeping well but kiyoomi helps with that

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28671468

alliance (3,354 words); their fake relationship is just a mutually-beneficial arrangement until it is definitely more than that

https://archiveofourown.org/works/30406824

WHAT IN CARNATION (10,661 words); atsumu has hanahaki

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28061016

too busy being yours (9,026 words); kiyoomi has hanahaki

https://archiveofourown.org/series/1921516

Terminal Curiosity (series); obviously these are porn and centered on BDSM but damn if they aren’t also character-driven masterpieces

[joi-in-the-tardis]

Thing #1: Yesterday I got a text from my stepbrother (stepmom's son) saying "Mom finally gave me your number after 3 years of pestering..." And then he went on about the Bengals and football.

It's not that I don't like him. And I do consider him one of my brothers, even if we aren't blood related. But, I had asked my stepmom not to give him my number. I remember one such conversation about it (there were a few):

Her: *stepbrother* keeps asking for your phone number. Me: Don't give it to him. Her: He just wants to talk to you. Me: If he calls, I won't answer. Her: Maybe sometimes you will. Me: I won't. I won't answer. I don't answer phone calls.

Firstly, I think this is another example of someone I make an exception for thinking I treat everyone else the same way. This happens a fair bit in my life... Most people don't see me interact with other people so they don't know that they are special to me and I make exceptions for them. I talk to my stepmom on the phone. I answer her calls. However, she's on a list of three people that I talk to on the phone with any kind of regularity (it expands to maybe five for emergencies). Outside those three exceptions, I hate talking on the phone. I've hated it since I was a kid. Chit-chat is not my forte. (As an aside: I remember one year my mom made me call all the kids I was inviting to my birthday party-on a rotary phone no less- and I started every phone conversation with "hello, who is this?" which got her increasingly upset... but I remember being so confused because how was I supposed to address the person on the other end of the phone if I didn't know who they were? She never made me do that again.)

Secondly, I have been witness to and been on the other end of phone conversations with my stepbrother (for example, back when we had house phones and anyone in the house had to answer them with no caller ID). He does this constant stream of muttering. Half of which I can't understand. And it goes on and on and on. It's like being trapped in a social expectation hell. No, I will not answer the phone for that.

I'm sure she just got tired of him asking and finally gave it to him. I'm trying not to be mad at her. But I am irritated because I told her not to. Admittedly, I go out of my way a little to keep the people who contact me through my phone kinda small. I remember just a couple years ago I avoided my phone so much of the time because someone used it to constantly dump her drama on me and that was stressful af.

Thing #2: My supervisor texted me yesterday to say that the store manager is probably going to ask me to work on Thursday. Which, first off, she's the one that mangled our schedule so that I only had 35.5 hours this week. So, I'm not feeling very generous. She made this schedule knowing full well that this weekend is both Valentine's Day weekend and Bengals at the Superbowl. It's not my fault she's an idiot, nor is it my obligation to give up my day off to fix it.

Secondly, I put in to have next weekend off to visit my girlfriend. If I work tomorrow that means I will be working 9 consecutive days leading up to driving 8 hours. Uh, no thank you. I would like to point out that I purposefully chose the weekend after the holiday so as to disrupt the department the least amount.

So, my plan is to tell her no unless she's willing to swap it for Friday or Saturday. I don't think she'll do that, either. Do I need the money? Sure. Would I rather be home? Absolutely.

All last year whenever we had someone on vacation (that's 9 times!) we were told we couldn't work a 6th day to make up for the missing person. Which means I baked twice as much before there was no baker and then had to clean up the mess the day after, each time. And now it's suddenly perfectly fine to have us all work 6 days in one week. No. Nuh-uh.

Everyone else seems to roll with this better than I do. But, if you're constantly an abusive asshole to me (and my co-workers) and then you turn around and want something? I have no desire to deliver.

[cheri-translates]

[CN] Idle Chat with Gavin

🍒 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for a feature which has not been released in English servers! 🍒

The CN server was recently graced with a new feature called 随便聊聊 (“Idle Chat”), where you can select a mood and talk to the love interests about work, life, and studies :>

Idle Chat with: Kiro / Lucien / Shaw / Victor

[ WORK - Topic 1: Overtime ]

1. Mood: Happy

MC: Yay! I don’t have to work overtime today! Want to have a sumptuous meal together?

Gavin: Good timing. I’m off shift today

Gavin: Apart from eating

Gavin: We can find other things to do.

-

2. Mood: Upset

MC: I’m sorry I’m sorry. I might reach an hour late today. I have to work overtime suddenly to handle something...

Gavin: It’s okay

Gavin: I’ll come over to accompany you during that one hour. That way, you won’t be considered late.

-

3. Mood: Angry

MC: I really don’t want to work overtime any longer. I’ve been sleeping right after getting home for so many consecutive days, and have absolutely no personal time...

Gavin: Have you been sleeping well?

Gavin: Once you’re done with this busy period, let’s go for a long vacation together.

-

[ WORK - Topic 2: Income ]

1. Mood: Happy

MC: I had a shock when I checked the accounts. Without realising it, I’ve saved so much money! It shows that persevering in financial management is very useful!

Gavin: I find it very useful too.

Gavin: When I was young, I’d put my future into a savings box

Gavin: Now, I’ll put my future into our hands.

-

2. Mood: Upset

MC: Why is it always so easy to spend money, but so difficult to earn it

Gavin: Mm, I also wonder about this question...

Gavin: Want to do up a plan to save money together?

-

3. Mood: Angry

MC: Barely ten minutes after being happy about payday, several notification messages for arrears arrived! I shouldn’t have purchased so many things last month!

Gavin: This month, I’ll be your shopping supervisor.

Gavin: If there’s anything you want to buy, let me know.

-

[ WORK - Topic 3: Program Progress ]

1. Mood: Happy

MC: Do you still remember the program I talked to you about before? After persistent hard work, we managed to secure a partnership!

Gavin: I remember

Gavin: Back then, you said you wouldn’t give up

Gavin: I’m also very happy to see that you didn’t give up.

-

2. Mood: Upset

MC: There hasn’t been any progress in the recent program... All inspiration has been expended, and our operations have also been exhausted...

Gavin: Want to go for a short trip with me over the weekend?

Gavin: To refresh your inspiration and motivation. 

-

3. Mood: Angry

MC: The data provided by the partner is absurd! If I were to go along with them, nothing would be done! 

Gavin: In that case, give them an absurd proposal

Gavin: They’ll know where they’ve gone wrong.

-

[ WORK - Topic 4: Program Results ]

1. Mood: Happy

MC: This program was successfully approved! I think my incredibly~ superb proposal was one of the contributory factors! We can officially start working on it tomorrow!

Gavin: Will you be busy from tomorrow onwards then?

Gavin: If you need to work overtime during this period

Gavin: Remember to call me.

-

2. Mood: Upset

MC: Is the work produced for the other party really okay... Even if it gets approved, there still seems to be something missing

Gavin: The MC I know is a persistent and confident girl

Gavin: No one can deny your accomplishments.

-

3. Mood: Angry

MC: When will the program finally get approved! There are seventeen versions stuffed in my file!!!

Gavin: A senior from the Task Force once told me a technique to examining clues

Gavin: List down the mistakes made in the previous seventeen versions

Gavin: And you’ll have new inspiration.

💙

[ LIFE - Topic 1: Losing Weight ]

1. Mood: Happy

MC: Did you notice anything different about me today? I’ll give you three seconds to think about it! Forget it, I think you might not have been able to see it...

Gavin: Cough, I could tell. You’ve lost weight.

Gavin: But it wasn’t because of what I saw. I used another method to determine it.

-

2. Mood: Upset

MC: Should I reach a compromise with my weight? I’ve been losing weight then gaining weight - it feels like a waste of time.

Gavin: There’s no need to lose weight

Gavin: No matter what, you’ll always be the best-looking in my eyes

Gavin: ...mm, but exercise is still needed. 

-

3. Mood: Angry

MC: I shouldn’t have gone for the dinner party yesterday! When I weighed myself today, I really became heavier by 1kg!

Gavin: It shows that you’ve gained 1kg of happiness yesterday

Gavin: Let it get absorbed into your body.

-

[ LIFE - Topic 2: Meals ]

1. Mood: Happy

MC: I accidentally bought too much... I don’t think I need so many vegetables since I’m cooking for myself...

Gavin: In that case, could you leave me a share?

Gavin: I’ll pay for the food expenses

Gavin: Mm, and I’ll also be responsible for washing the dishes and being an assistant.

-

2. Mood: Upset

MC: I bought the snack which is especially popular on the internet. But when I ate it, I didn’t think it was great. Has my taste become disconnected with the masses?

Gavin: Taste is something personal

Gavin: Want to head out together today?

Gavin: We’ll find snacks that you and I both find delicious

-

3. Mood: Angry

MC: I made an absolutely perfect bento for lunch at work, but my hand slipped when taking it out of the microwave and it all fell out!

Gavin: Did you scald your hand?

Gavin: Let’s have dinner together.

Gavin: To make up for the regret of not being able to eat your absolutely perfect bento.

-

[ LIFE - Topic 3: Reading ]

1. Mood: Happy

MC: The science fiction book I read today is really interesting! It’s also especially rich in imagination. I think you’ll like the style as well!

Gavin: All right.

Gavin: But I’ve been busy with missions these days, so I might not have time to read

Gavin: I’ve noted down the name of the book. I’ll tell you my thoughts after reading it.

-

2. Mood: Upset

MC: I was looking for spiritual comfort when I came across a book on philosophy. In the end, I think I’ve become even more perplexed by the world... Have you felt this way too?

Gavin: Mm, there are times I’m perplexed by the world too

Gavin: But once I think about you, I’ll feel calmer.

-

3. Mood: Angry

MC: Today, I borrowed a murder mystery novel from the library. Some unreasonable reader wrote the name of the murderer directly on the first page!! 

Gavin: ...

Gavin: That’s really going overboard. 

Gavin: Try treating it as backwards reasoning, and observe the process. 

-

[ LIFE - Topic 4: Games]

1. Mood: Happy

MC: I’ve finally defeated that difficult boss! I was even thinking that if I failed again, I’d refer to the guide. I didn’t expect to beat it!

Gavin: That level is really difficult

Gavin: I only managed to defeat it after reading the guide

Gavin: You’re very strong - a first-rate gamer.

-

2. Mood: Upset

MC: I think I’ve outgrown the age of game addiction. I just feel like leaving once I go online. I can’t find anything interesting...

Gavin: Maybe you just temporarily lack motivation towards this game

Gavin: Want to try a new game?

Gavin: Minor recommended a multi-player game involving solving riddles

Gavin: I think you should like it.

-

3. Mood: Angry

MC: I met a cheater in the game again! People who ruin the experience of the game are so annoying! It makes me feel like giving up on the game...

Gavin: Report him.

Gavin: People who contravene the rules are being played by the game

Gavin: And not playing the game.

💙

[ SCHOOL - Topic 1: Progress ]

1. Mood: Happy

MC: The method you taught me is really effective! Today, I finally overcame the temptation to slack off, and successfully completed my task!

Gavin: There are many methods

Gavin: You don’t necessarily have to use the one I taught you

Gavin: But if you can get used to it, it shows that you have a lot of potential.

-

2. Mood: Upset

MC: I’d rather doodle on paper or stare into space than look at the textbook... I’m a girl who’s tired of studying T-T

Gavin: It’s already late - don’t force yourself to read the textbook

Gavin: The girl who’s tired of studying should become a girl who sleeps early

Gavin: That way, she can become a diligent girl tomorrow.

-

3. Mood: Angry

MC: There are only ten more days till the end of the course, and my learning progress has just begun...

Gavin: There are still ten days

Gavin: Which means there are 240 hours, 14400 minutes

Gavin: If you look at it this way, there’s still time.

-

[ SCHOOL - Topic 2: Homework ]

1. Mood: Happy

MC: The teacher actually complimented me today. Even though all she said was that my work is neat... I’m still very happy!

Gavin: Even back then, your handwriting was always delicate and neat

Gavin: Just like you as a person.

-

2. Mood: Upset

MC: I can’t help but find excuses to slack off whenever I scan through the questions. I just scanned through five minutes worth of video clips...

Gavin: And now you’ve slacked off by sending me 25 words.

Gavin: Be a little more focused.

-

3. Mood: Angry

MC: Even though there isn’t much homework in each course, when you put them together, it’s basically WAY. TOO. MUCH.

Gavin: When I was in school, I also felt that there was a lot of homework

Gavin: So I would prioritise the easier questions first...

Gavin: It isn’t a special method, but you can try it.

-

[ SCHOOL - Topic 3: Pre-exam Revision ]

1. Mood: Happy

MC: Today, I memorised all the examinable points. Tomorrow, I’ll be entering the battlefield. Everything has been prepared - all I’m missing is a little bit of courage from you!

Gavin: All right, give me your hand.

Gavin: I have a lot of courage,

Gavin: And I can give it all to you, the one stepping into the battlefield tomorrow.

-

2. Mood: Upset

MC: Although I’ve looked through all the examinable points, I still feel unsure and uneasy...

Gavin: Don’t be anxious. Since you’re done with revision, rest early

Gavin: Tomorrow, I’ll send you to the examination venue.

-

3. Mood: Angry

MC: It’s too difficult, it’s way too difficult. I really shouldn’t have registered for this class. I still can’t memorise anything when it’s almost the exam...

Gavin: I’ll bring you out for a ride in a while

Gavin: You can share all your grievances and stress with the wind.

-

[ SCHOOL - Topic 4: Post-exam celebration]

1. Mood: Happy

MC: My exam is over! I’ve been freed! And my results were much better than expected!

Gavin: You know your results immediately?

Gavin: Congratulations

Gavin: I’m outside the exam venue. Sparky and I are waiting for you.

-

2. Mood: Upset

MC: A weight has been lifted off my shoulders since the exam is over. Even though I planned so many celebratory activities, I don’t feel like doing them now...

Gavin: If you don’t have any ideas

Gavin: Leave the planning to me.

Gavin: Wait for me at the entrance of the examination venue. I’ll be there soon.

-

3. Mood: Angry

MC: I’m so angry! I shouldn’t have compared answers with other people! I feel unwell after doing that...

Gavin: Did you get many answers wrong?

Gavin: Since the examination is already over

Gavin: You could alleviate your anger and hunger with me.

[canonicallysoulmates]

🎃Halloween themed wincest fic rec🎃

This fic rec is, primarily, Halloween themed but you’ll also find some horror as well as just in general autumn themed fics all to, hopefully, get y’all in the spirit of the spooky season!

There’s all sorts of ratings, some weecest, a non-related Hocus Pocus AU, hopefully you’ll find something to your liking among all of these fics.

As always please head all warnings and tags as some of these fics do contain graphic and heavy topics. 

Happy reading, and Happy Halloween my fellow wincest shippers! 🎃

🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃

Halloween 

Eight-Legged Freaks. by anniespinkhouse

Sam/Dean (Wincest) Outsider POV. Takes place early in season 8 but no particular spoilers except for Sam’s hair. Biddy owns a candy store. She also talks to spiders. When FBI agents Sam Smith and Dean Jones investigate a possible haunting, on Halloween evening, the consequence of Dean eating too much candy is disturbing. It’s a race against time for Sam to find a way to return Dean to normal.

The Rocky Horror Sam Show by RockSaltandCherryPie *

Sam goes to a Halloween party and dresses up like Frank N. Furter but ends up looking more like a girl than anything else.

the one that lives behind his heart by Addie_D_123 *

Dean is the spark, Sam is the fire.

The Witch's Dance by brimstonegold and virtualpersonal *

It's either coincidence, or irony, but Sam and Dean find themselves hunting for a witch at The Witch's Dance, a party being given at the local haunted mansion on Halloween. What they find is not the kind of dance they expected.

hell is empty; all the little brothers are here by bellaaanovak

Dean just wants to make the rundown house they’re squatting in look cool for Halloween, but Sam isn’t so excited about strangers in corny costumes knocking on the door for candy. Not when there’s a gang of ghouls wreaking havoc in the neighborhood, anyways.

Greaspaint and Fairy Dust by Syls Darkplace (sylsdarkplace)

It’s Halloween. Sam’s least favorite holiday, and what should be the investigation of a simple salt and burn goes awry when Dean gets caught with his hand in the candy cauldron.

Here is where you’ll stay by belyste

Sam, Dean, and haunted hayride. Halloween!fic. 

A Winchester Halloween by ello_kitty *

 A short story about how the brothers spend the holiday.

Triple XY Or The Hunter, His Bitch And Their Offspring by mpregloveranon

This is the answer to this Halloween!Prompt over at the spnkink_meme. Without reveal to much already I’ll just keep the summary really short. After being cursed Sam is knocked up by his brother. On Halloween he is heavily pregnant with triplets and completely miserable. Dean feels sorry for his baby brother, especially because he pissed the witch off who cursed Sam, and takes good care of him.   Throw in raging hormones, some schmoop, some angst and cute little kids and you’ll get the idea what this fic is about. ;)

Scary Monsters (and Super Creeps) by Ignited *

It’s Halloween, and the locals aren’t clued in to the fact that those things going bump in the night are much more than fabric and latex. Sam and Dean learn this fact the hard way as the clock winds down and a town’s about to be overrun by monsters.

The Witches of Salem by Revenant 

There's a legend in Salem, of three sisters accused and hung for the crime of witchcraft, but not before they had killed several of the local children and placed another under a terrible curse. It is said that on Hallowe'en night, when the moon is full, the witches will rise again when a virgin lights the Black Flame Candle.

A little over three hundred years later, Sam Winchester is passing through town trying out his newly awarded independence on what he suspects will be a simple salt-and-burn; why can’t things ever go like he plans?

Why not stay and be caught? by deirdre_c *

Sam wishes to go to The Palace.

Pretty Princess by orphan_account *

Sam is excited to go to a Halloween Party… And then his first heat hits.

Take a Good Look by BewareTheIdes15 *

Sam, Dean, and a haunted house with a mirror maze - sounds like pwp to me!

Kids These Days by Magz (sparklepocalypse) *

Halloween parties are never simple when there are Winchesters involved.

Thy Back to the Forest (and Thy Front to Us) by PetraPan *

For the last three years in Stillwater, Oklahoma, children have disappeared—always five young girls, always on consecutive days, and always during the week of Halloween. By the day the Winchester's pull into town, Sam is enrolled for school, he’s stuck once more on research duty, and Dean already has a date. Sam juggles his new schoolwork, the case, and the ever-growing bitterness at the desire he feels for Dean as best as he can, but at some point he can no longer manage all three. With their father constantly absent and a nasty time constraint, Sam and Dean struggle to figure out who—or what—is taking young girls, just as they struggle to find the balance between brothers and something more.

Sugar Sweet by fallingintodivinity

“What’s all this stuff?” Sam asks warily. He gingerly picks up a bottle of red fluid and squints at it.

“Fake blood!” Dean says cheerfully. “It’s cherry-flavored,” he adds helpfully.

“But why,” Sam says, bewildered.

“Dunno,” Dean says. “It was on sale. Tastes pretty good, actually. Here, lemme show you.”

Halloween by EasyTiga *

Sam and Dean go to a Halloween party for a case and at least one of them can't keep their mind on the mission because of the outfit choice.

Hush Little Baby by hellhoundsprey *

Together with his friends, Sam visits a haunted house. It's Halloween. (Sam is 16, Dean is 20.)

Halloween and High Schoolers by onesillygoose *

I'm realizing how bad my summaries are. Anyway... Sam gets invited to a Halloween party. Dean tags along. Things never go as they should for the Winchesters.

Pumpkin Patch by KissingWinchesters

It's Halloween and Dean decides to steal a giant pumpkin.

VII - One candy left by KissingWinchesters

There’s a piece of melting, sticky caramel pressed into the centre of Sam’s back.

Candy, Pumpkin Spice, And Orgasms by KissingWinchesters

Dean takes Sam to a quaint town on Halloween. Their relationship develops.

He Never Saw the Look by orphan_account

Sam's got a secret. He's in love with his big brother. Little does he know, Dean shares the same dirty little secret.

Pretty Little Thing by Miss_Lv *

Teenager Dean goes to a Halloween party for some fun, he spots a pretty little thing and chases her all evening, flirting, and eventually cornering her. Once his got his hands on her though he realizes she is actually a he, but he's fine with that. Sam snuck out after Dean just because he could, he picked a costume he knew Dean would never recognize him in. After spending the evening being chased by his brother Sam ends up in a semi public place with Dean all over him. Sam's stupid crush on his own brother is not helping matters either.

this way comes by estrella30 *

Written for spn_halloween based on prompt #127: Sam goes to a Halloween party his first year at Stanford and gets dragged off by a guy in a mask who makes out with him. He discovers it's Dean, and the making-out continues with a vengeance.

🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃

Horror

Diamond Dogs by kassidy *

Prompt: Supernatural, Sam/Dean, werewolfism - one turns and takes the other down (interpret as you will) for dark_fest LJ comm

A Silent, Creeping Killer by lily rose (annabeth) *

Not long after Dean picks Sam up from Stanford, Sam and Dean go undercover as an engaged couple to investigate the murder of a lesbian hockey player in small-town Connecticut. Along the way, they meet dedicated lovers, frightening ghosts, and the possibility that their ruse might be becoming all too real. How will they handle their changing feelings for each other? Who will protect the lovers and tenants of the Windsor boarding house? And what does all this have to do with the play 'Arsenic and Old Lace'?

darling by allwellandgood 

Dean is dead. Sam has a theory that nothing will ever hurt again.

I Wonder as I Wander by dollylux

Bobby sends Sam and Dean to investigate a strange town.

Let Me Take You Far Away by orphan_account *

Season 10. It's exactly what they need. A vacation. That's how Dean can make everything else go away. Cas was right. That's all they need. A nice, little vacation.

🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃

Fall/Autumn themed

Death of the Petals by doctor__idiot

Dean has always thought that fall held some sort of magic.

Where You Are [Is Where I Belong] by non_tiembo_mala

Sam is stuck in class on a beautiful fall day. His mind wanders and it always ends up on Dean.

Hazy Hunter's Moon by GhostlyVoid *

Sam saves a hunter who got attacked by a werewolf, knowing exactly what trouble he's inviting into his home. The hunter, Dean, is predictably less than thrilled owing his life to a witch.

Delicious Autumn by sammichgirl

Dean just wants to give Sam a great day full of some favorite things.

Autumn Leaves by dragonspell *

In the weak light of early morning, the autumn leaves are starting to paint the woods in reds and golds and a burning orange. On some level or another, Dean knows that it’s beautiful; he does. He's just got to find Sam first.

[drippity]

I work in the morning the day after tomorrow (I mean really tomorrow since it's already 5 am) & I'm struggling so hard right now and I can't sleep I'm just stuck in my brain and scared and stressed and upset and I just can't wait for my vacation. I desperately need time to think and destress. I went to California with friends recently and I can't think of 12+ consecutive hours that I've been happy like that in ??? months? years? probably years. why do I have intense burnout from working five 6-7 hour days a week lol

[stevenuniversallyreviews]

Episode 138: Kevin Party

“Did you guys break up? Can seven-year-olds even do that?”

Remember Doug Out?

The 125th episode of Steven Universe is a small but very fun story about Steven Universe and Connie Maheswaran, two best friends who work as a team to solve a mystery. Steven is already a teenager, and if Connie isn’t thirteen yet she’s awful close (she’s twelve and three quarters on Steven’s midsummer birthday, and school has been in session since Mindful Education), but this feels like a pair of children on an adventure. They’re chaperoned by Connie’s dad, they wear silly disguises and use sillier aliases, and they outright say that their goal is to “ruin some teen’s night.”

Doug Out ends in a cliffhanger, which leads directly to Steven’s abduction, which leads directly to Steven’s journey to and escape from Homeworld, which leads directly to the Breakup Arc, which ends here. That’s fourteen consecutive episodes telling one long story, which happens to be the same number of episodes between Catch and Release kicks off Peridot’s conversion and Hit the Diamond ends our barn adventure. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Act II and Act III of Steven Universe have similar sweeping midpoint storylines: both see a radical change occur, and while our middle act’s is more obvious (two new Gems join our crew and Steven saves the dang planet), Act III has the more important development for Steven himself. Because at the beginning of its sweep, Steven and Connie are kids, and at the end, they’re teenagers.

Granted, I see anyone under the age of 25 as a “kid,” but Kevin Party is a distinctly adolescent episode. The Breakup Arc as a whole covers new ground that a typical kid’s show wouldn’t, and even the one episode without much angst for Steven is about a bunch of teens starting a band. But it’s a whole new step to set an episode at a high school party, complete with drinking (age-appropriate drinks, I’m sure) and no adult supervision. 

After five episodes watching Steven either stressing about Connie or working his way through his guilt, it’s wonderful and devastating that when we finally see her again, she's having a blast. Her new look is one thing, but her effortless mingling with strangers is my favorite thing about Kevin Party. This isn’t a new aspect of her personality. She’s probably been like this for a while. But it’s the first time we’re seeing it, because it’s the first time Steven is seeing it.

In Bubble Buddies, Connie started out so shy that she feared dying without making a single friend, while Steven was so gregarious that he couldn’t help befriending everyone he met. Now he’s the awkward one, reduced to asking the likes of Kevin for advice, and she’s bloomed out of that social anxiety. And it’s not just a matter of her friendship with Steven changing her, even though that’s a major inciting incident: after he helps her come out of her shell, she’s able to practice interacting with peers on a regular basis in a scenario that’s way more helpful in understanding normal human interactions than anything in Steven’s life, because Connie goes to school.

There’s an unstated and uncomfortable truth that Connie needs Steven to have access to his magical world, creating an uneven power dynamic that’s easy to ignore because it fits into the general role of how a main character and side character work on a show like this. But Kevin Party‘s biggest reveal is that just because she needs him if she wants to have cosmic adventures, she doesn’t need him to have a fulfilling life, and she doesn’t need his friendship to be happy.

Thank. Goodness.

Codependency isn’t something to aspire to, and while Steven isn’t intentionally possessive of Connie (yet), their fight boils down to him treating her like a sidekick, someone who gets to do magic stuff with him under his terms. We don’t get to see what she was up to during the Breakup Arc, but I’m so glad her laughter here isn’t performative. She has enough self-worth to not define herself by the boy she likes or the adventures they share, and even if she’s upset that they’re in a fight, we know from our first look at her that she’d be okay if they never ended up reconciling. And that makes her choice to reconcile so much stronger than just shoving them back together because they’ve been apart long enough and the status quo demands it. She doesn’t need Steven in her life, but she wants him in her life, and that’s the difference between an episode about Connie remaining a sidekick in Steven’s mind and an episode about Connie establishing herself as an equal.

Steven and Connie’s affection has always bounced between platonic and romantic, and I love that even now we keep it ambiguous. Steven wears the shirt Connie got him in Steven’s Birthday, which is a gesture of friendship but occurs in an episode that dances around their mutual crush (complete with actual dancing). The moment of seeing each other again is shot like running into an ex, with time slowing down to let the absolute horror set in as the rest of the party fades, but Steven still refers to her only as his best friend. Kevin makes some of the subtext text through his confusion over the status of their relationship, but even if they’re teens now, these two are still young enough that don’t know how to express their deeper feelings.

Sadie Killer gets our guard down just long enough that Kevin Party’s new surge of drama hits like a truck: this is the original show’s most direct predecessor to the tone of Steven Universe Future’s latter half, where the anguish of watching Steven flounder in his relationship with Connie comes to a head. He makes the same mistake here that he’ll make in Together Forever: he’s so desperate for advice that he doesn’t question its source. Which is doubly frustrating because Greg Universe, who has told several stories on-screen about navigating a new relationship, is just a phone call away! I’m not saying I wish Steven actually called him, because all teens make mistakes and there’s any number of reasons he wouldn’t want to ask his dad in the moment, but it speaks to Steven’s inability to think straight when it comes to Connie.

In his final appearance, Kevin shows the closest thing he’s got to depth by helping Steven the only way he knows how. And unlike Beach City Drift, where he makes up a tragic backstory just to be a troll, it’s clear that the mysterious Sabine did a number on Delmarva’s biggest jerk. But I’ve got no patience for the notion that this episode is anything near redemptive for a guy whose idea of being helpful involves emotionally manipulating a vulnerable fourteen-year-old boy into emotionally manipulating a vulnerable thirteen-year-old girl.

Here more than ever, Kevin contrasts Steven’s self-destructive selflessness by being a black hole of self-importance. He only cares about Steven inasmuch as Steven can help him be more popular, not even bothering to ask for his name until it serves his needs. He’s so oblivious to his surroundings that he confuses Lion for a dog (saying that he’s allergic to dogs is a somewhat funny joke, but talking up Connie’s new life by saying she has a dog now is hilarious), and goes out of his way to antagonize his guests. To Steven, other people exist to be helped, which has noble roots but is catastrophic for his self-image. To Kevin, other people exist to admire Kevin.

“Psychopath” is a strong word, and I don’t wanna exaggerate Kevin’s villainy because that takes away from what makes him so insidious: unlike the Final Boss feel of the Diamonds, there’s an abundance of regular people who do the same awful stuff that Kevin does, and acting like he’s some extreme case detracts from the mundanity of everyday evils. Moreover, I remain unqualified to be an armchair psychologist, and the Hare Psychopathy Checklist has plenty of valid criticism, so take any diagnosis using it (or really any psych profile that involves a checklist you can do from home) with a grain of salt. But with all that said, I’ll just leave a link to it right here and let y’all do what you will with it.

The Big Talk gets five and a half episodes of buildup, and it doesn’t disappoint. It’s so perfect that Connie’s reaction to negging is to do what she always does when she sees someone behaving badly: she gets mad and calls it out. Steven’s typical approach to unkind behavior is to double down on his friendliness, but Connie will always put her foot down and demand kindness, whether you’re her best friend or a galactic tyrant. New hair aside, Connie isn’t the one that changes over the course of the Breakup Arc: it begins with her making it clear that she’s hurt while Steven ignores her, and it ends with her making it clear that she’s hurt while Steven listens.

I love that Connie requires no prompting to explain why she didn’t text Steven back, because Full Disclosure shows that she understands how much it hurts to try and connect with a friend who won’t respond. I love that she did go back to talk with him in person while he was on vacation (meaning all of this could’ve been worked through way sooner) because adolescence is suffering and we needed one last little twist of the knife in this arc. And I love that Steven is wise enough to just admit what he did instead of try and defend himself, because their whole fight hinged on his refusal to acknowledge the gravity of his actions, both to Connie and to himself. He doesn’t say the word “sorry” until the very end of his admission, because he means it and wants to provide context for the apology rather than just say “I’m sorry” a bunch.

And it’s so perfect that they don’t end up forming Stevonnie during their reconciliation, and not just because that would’ve given Kevin a win. They make up, but it still takes time to let the lingering pain go away, and it makes Stevonnie’s reappearance in our next episode way more meaningful. After one last display of their fundamental contrast—Steven expresses sympathy for Kevin’s situation with Sabine, while Connie shrugs it off because having a backstory doesn’t mean it’s okay to be a toxic douche—they leave the world of teen parties behind, at least for now. They’ll go back to more adventures right away, traveling to space in Lars of the Stars and Jungle Moon, but they’ll never truly be the same.

Thank goodness.

I’ve never been to this…how do you say…school?

I love that Stevonnie’s disdain for Kevin is here for us even when Stevonnie doesn’t show up in the episode.

We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

It’s not just the catharsis factor that gets this in my Top 25. Kevin Party is incredible at capturing the dread I associate with this type of teen party as someone who often felt like Steven as a kid (three traits that don’t work well with teen parties, even if like me you were a fairly social teenager: clinical depression, teetotalism due to the double whammy of that depression and family history of addiction, and having a bad ear that makes it impossible to hear people talk when the music gets loud enough). Beyond the personal connection, we also get one last look at the show’s greatest villain, and an episode that respects Connie so much more than a normal cartoon would. This is how you end an arc, folks.

Top Twenty-Five

Steven and the Stevens

Hit the Diamond

Mirror Gem

Lion 3: Straight to Video

Alone Together

Last One Out of Beach City

The Return

Jailbreak

The Answer

Mindful Education

Sworn to the Sword

Rose’s Scabbard

Earthlings

Mr. Greg

Coach Steven

Giant Woman

Beach City Drift

Winter Forecast

Bismuth

Back to the Kindergarten

Steven’s Dream

Kevin Party

When It Rains

The Good Lars

Lars’s Head

Love ‘em

Laser Light Cannon

Bubble Buddies

Tiger Millionaire

Lion 2: The Movie

Rose’s Room

An Indirect Kiss

Ocean Gem

Space Race

Garnet’s Universe

Warp Tour

The Test

Future Vision

On the Run

Maximum Capacity

Marble Madness

Political Power

Full Disclosure

Joy Ride

Keeping It Together

We Need to Talk

Chille Tid

Cry for Help

Keystone Motel

Catch and Release

Back to the Barn

Steven’s Birthday

It Could’ve Been Great

Message Received

Log Date 7 15 2

Same Old World

The New Lars

Monster Reunion

Alone at Sea

Crack the Whip

Beta

Back to the Moon

Kindergarten Kid

Buddy’s Book

Gem Harvest

Three Gems and a Baby

That Will Be All

The New Crystal Gems

Storm in the Room

Room for Ruby

Lion 4: Alternate Ending

Doug Out

Are You My Dad?

I Am My Mom

Stuck Together

The Trial

Off Colors

Gemcation

Raising the Barn

Sadie Killer

Like ‘em

Gem Glow

Frybo

Arcade Mania

So Many Birthdays

Lars and the Cool Kids

Onion Trade

Steven the Sword Fighter

Beach Party

Monster Buddies

Keep Beach City Weird

Watermelon Steven

The Message

Open Book

Story for Steven

Shirt Club

Love Letters

Reformed

Rising Tides, Crashing Tides

Onion Friend

Historical Friction

Friend Ship

Nightmare Hospital

Too Far

Barn Mates

Steven Floats

Drop Beat Dad

Too Short to Ride

Restaurant Wars

Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service

Greg the Babysitter

Gem Hunt

Steven vs. Amethyst

Bubbled

Adventures in Light Distortion

Gem Heist

The Zoo

Rocknaldo

Dewey Wins

Enh

Cheeseburger Backpack

Together Breakfast

Cat Fingers

Serious Steven

Steven’s Lion

Joking Victim

Secret Team

Say Uncle

Super Watermelon Island

Gem Drill

Know Your Fusion

Future Boy Zoltron

Tiger Philanthropist

No Thanks!

     6. Horror Club      5. Fusion Cuisine      4. House Guest      3. Onion Gang      2. Sadie’s Song      1. Island Adventure

[jaehyun-eclipsed]

Before I Met You | Twenty

Next Update: ~December 29, 2020

Pairing: NCT (Jaehyun, Lucas, Mark, Jaemin, Johnny) X Reader/OC

Genre: Romance, Angst, Coming of Age

Summary: Four. There were four people before I fell in love with you… Here are their stories.

Author’s Note: Hello! Sorry I’m a few days late -- was doing some finishing touches. Also, instead of having a regular update schedule, I think I’ll be sticking with letting you know when you can expect the next update!

Before I Met You Masterlist

Prev | Next

“Where are you going?” Jia asks as soon as she sees me putting on my boots.

I glance up at her as I zip up my right boot. “Grocery store.”

“Oh… by yourself?”

I’m not sure why Jia suddenly decided to ask today who I’m going to the grocery store with. Perhaps because I went last Saturday morning, never go in consecutive weeks, and certainly never go at two o’clock in the afternoon. Or she senses that I’m sneaking around her and avoiding questions like I was with Jaemin.

“No, Johnny asked me to go with him.”

“Johnny?!” she exclaims. “Why does Johnny want to go to the grocery store with you?! He seems to want to hang out with you a lot, huh?”

“I don’t know. I mean, we just played card games and talked yesterday.”

Jia’s eyes widen. “What if he likes you?!”

I shrug.

That is a good question though. What if he does like me? Then what am I supposed to do? I would go out with him, but—

“Doesn’t he have a girlfriend?” she asks. “I saw a girl here like a month ago with him. I didn’t recognize her.”

“I don’t know. He’s never mentioned any—

Shit. No. That’s what Jaemin did. Please do not let this be a repeat of Jaemin. I don’t have time for that kind of shit again.

Jia quirks her eyebrow, wondering why I suddenly stopped midsentence. “Any… what? What are you thinking?”

“Uh, he’s never mentioned anything about it. Have you ever seen her around here after that?”

“No, I don’t think so…”

I press my lips together. “Maybe they broke up.”

“What if he does like you?!” she asks excitedly. “Would you go out with him?” I blink a few times and shrug. “I guess so.”

“So you’re from Medford? That’s cool. My family drove through there once on our way to Portland. It’s nice.”

“Yeah, I like it there. You grew up in San Jose, right?”

Johnny and I walk up the hill towards a local grocery store a few blocks north from where we live. My face feels cold from the end of fall chill, but I feel strangely happy. I’m sure it has something to do with the fact that I sort of have a crush on Johnny because I think he’s cute and we’re hanging out.

I’ve been asking him questions. Trying to figure out what he’s like. Trying to figure out whether he has a girlfriend... I know I could just be direct about it and ask, but it seems kind of random to suddenly say, “So, do you have a girlfriend?” when I barely know him.

We obviously know that we can’t just default to, “Oh, if he has a girlfriend, he wouldn’t be trying to hit on someone else” and immediately assume he has morals because apparently that’s not always true.

But aside from that issue, Johnny is nice and in the “getting to know you” stage, he’s decently interesting.

“Yeah. My parents and my sister moved to California a few months after I was born. So I lived with my grandparents in Korea until my parents came back to pick me up after settling down to bring me here,” he says.  

“Do you speak Korean?”

“Yeah, but it’s not very good. I can get around though.”

“I’ve been trying to learn Korean,” I say. “I can read the alphabet and say a few phrases!”

“Oh really? I could help you out sometime.”

Johnny is a year younger than me and he has a sister that’s a year older than me that goes to school in San Francisco. His dad is often traveling for work, so Johnny doesn’t see him as often when he goes home to visit his mom every few weeks. Since she’s home by herself often, she spends a lot of her time volunteering at her church, though sometimes she’ll buy a plane ticket and meet Johnny’s dad wherever he traveled for work.

It seems… lonely.

We arrive at the grocery store and I follow him around, watching him pick out his groceries and making casual small talk about our classes, our interests, and what food to buy.

I can’t help but feel flirtatious. And that’s a weird feeling to me because I never feel flirtatious. Friendly and shy, sure. But flirtatious has only ever really occurred once and I’ll never forget that feeling. I clearly like Johnny, but I’m not trying to give it away. But he asked me to go grocery shopping so that has to count for something.

“Do you want some tea?” Johnny asks, pointing to a colorful display of canned teas.

I blink several times. “Uh, sure? I can Venmo you.”

“Nah, don’t worry about it,” he says. “Which one do you want?”

I spot my favorite flavor near the top and without saying a word, walk over to the display and get on my tippy toes in an attempt to reach the peach tea. My fingers are just a few inches shy of reaching it. Johnny chuckles and I keep my back to him to hide my frown. He walks up behind me and easily reaches over my hand to grab the can and place it in his cart.

“You could’ve just told me which one you wanted. That’s the benefit of being short with tall friends,” he teases.

“Hey! I’m not short!”

“You’re shorter than me.”

“Everyone is shorter than you!” I retort.

He chuckles again. “Yeah, that’s true. Is there anything you need? I’m done.”

I shake my head and turn to head towards the checkout line. An Oreo display case catches my eye and my expression morphs into one of disgust.

“Cherry cola Oreos?” I say in disbelief. “That sounds gross.”

“Hey, they’re probably good,” he responds, pulling out his phone.

I shrug. “I guess they had to pass the taste test before production.”

He doesn’t respond, engrossed in whatever is on his phone. My curiosity gets to the best of me and I begin peering over. He’s looking at an ad for Muji and in the top left corner are the Facebook chat bubbles. Mine is the only one on the screen and he doesn’t appear to have any other notifications. I don’t know what this would tell me. I figure if he had a girlfriend, she would message him while he was on his excursion. Actually, wouldn’t he ask her to accompany him? Unless…?

“Hey,” I greet, placing a glass of water and a plate of sliced fruit on the table. “How’s the studying going?”

Jaehyun lets out a heavy sigh. “It’s all right. A lot of terms to remember. Strategic risk, credit risk, call-options, price insurance… hard to keep them straight sometimes.”

“Do you have any flash cards? I can help test you if you want.”

He shakes his head. “That’s okay. Maybe a little later. I’m doing some practice questions now.” He looks at the plate, grabs an apple slice, and takes a bite. “Thanks.”

“You’ve taken and passed a couple exams already. I know you’ll do great on this one,” I say, taking a seat in the chair across from him.  

“Yeah, but I had to take one of those exams multiple times.”

“So? You still passed. That’s all that matters. And now you’re on your way to becoming a certified financial planner! You’re doing great!”

Jaehyun smiles a bit. “I’d really like to pass this one the first time…”

“I’m sure with all the studying you’re doing, you’ll be fine. You still have a few weeks to get it down.”

“Yeah, but I have to work too…”

I chuckle lightly. “I don’t know how you do it. But you amaze me every day. Work, study, and pass these exams.”

“Honestly, I don’t really know either.” Jaehyun leans back in his chair and crosses his arms. “We should take a vacation after this.”  

I clap my hands together. “Let’s go somewhere warm after I finish finals! Last vacation during law school because next semester it’s finals and then the bar exam.” I press my lips together and frown. “Tests. Always another test!”

“Are you coming in here to study?”

“Hm? Oh, I need to make a call to Siwon first. Why? Do you need something?”

Jaehyun smiles and shakes his head. “No.”

“Oh, okay,” I say as I get up from my seat. “Then I’ll—

“I just like it when you’re with me.”

I started spending more time downstairs with Chaeyoung and Shotaro. We’d sit in a comfortable silence to study and then chat over dinner. Occasionally Johnny would come down to join us. Though recently, he had been cooped up in his room trying to finish the last CS projects of the semester with Hendery. So we didn’t see each other as much, but he did message me frequently to see how I was doing and ate dinner downstairs with the rest of us.

Within a matter of weeks, classes ended and dead week was upon us. Now it was a week of intense cramming and poor diet followed by finals and then a few weeks to relax before doing it all over again. It’s like a hamster wheel… constantly running, only to find out you receive a piece of paper for your endeavors.

After finishing lunch in the dining room, I pack up my laptop and notebooks to set out for a psych review session and a few hours of library study for genetics. Johnny walks in and sits down at the neighboring table, thoughtfully watching me as I place my belongings into my bag.

“Where you going?” he finally asks.

“I have a review session for my psych class at two and then I’m going to study in the library until five or so.”

“Oh, where is it?

“In the life sciences building.”

“Oh.” He shifts around in his chair a bit and begins biting the inside of his lip. “Are you staying in the life science building after that?”

“Yeah, that’s the library I like.”

“Oh, okay. Maybe I should check it out.”

“It’s nice. It’s smaller and they usually have space.”

I glance at him, expecting him to ask to join me in the library, but when he doesn’t, I mentally shrug and throw my backpack over my shoulder.

“See you later,” I say, heading towards the door.

“Bye.”

At the review session, I scan the room and sit down next to an old dorm floormate. She doesn’t notice when I sit down, furiously texting someone with a furrowed brow.

“Ugh!” she groans.

“Everything okay?” I ask out of obligation.

“My boyfriend is being stupid.” She puts her phone back in her pocket. “I kinda think he’s cheating on me.”  

I bite my lip and nod in acknowledgement. “Boys suck.”

“Tell me about it.”

I pull out my own phone to avoid any further divulgence and see a message notification.

Johnny: you said youre gonna study at the library after your review session right?

Heh. It sounds like someone’s too afraid to ask in person.

Me: Yeah

J: when does it end? can I join you? I wanna go study at the library but I don’t wanna get lost lol

My forehead creases in confusion upon reading Johnny’s reasoning. Get lost? How would you get lost?

Me: It’s over at 3 and yeah

Me: Just meet me in front of the library at 3

I’m holding back a smile. I wanted to go to the library with Johnny, but I also didn’t want to be the one to ask. To some extent, this was a test for him. To test his attraction? I like being chased just as much as the next person and if the opportunity presents itself to spend time with Johnny, then all the better.

J: ok! See u then! 

An hour later, I exit the lecture hall and start walking to the other side of the building towards the library. Johnny’s tall figure is leaning against the railing in front of the entrance. He’s wearing a gray baseball cap and holding a textbook against his left thigh while using his other hand to scroll through something on his phone. I walk up to him and looks up from his phone.

“Hey!” he greets. “How was the review session?”

I shrug. “It was all right.” I gesture my head towards the library. “Ready to go in?”

He nods and I start walking into the library with him following slightly behind.

“Whoa,” he whispers, lightly grabbing onto the dangling strap of my backpack. “I’d definitely get lost in here. Make sure I don’t get lost.”

I turn my head slightly to look at him over my shoulder. Gawking at him, he smiles widely back at me. I blink at him a few times and turn back around, continuing on towards the tables in the back and pretending like I’m not leading a child with one of those backpack leashes.

Okay… maybe he’s just really, really weird.

God, this looks so stupid.

I stop in front of an empty table with two high chairs. Johnny lets go of the strap when he sees me move to take off my backpack and then follows suit. I place my belongings on the table and immediately immerse myself in reviewing for my genetics exam. I occasionally take glances over at Johnny who is diligently reading the textbook he was holding and taking notes. Normally, I’d pay a little more attention, but that’s not really my priority right now. However, I won’t deny that there’s this annoying voice in my head that’s asking, “What in the world is Johnny doing? He must like you, right? But what if he has a girlfriend that you don’t know about? Those pictures of him with that girl are still on his Instagram page, but some people leave all of those photos up even after they break up. I don’t have a gauge on what he’s like and whether he’d do that.”

Later that evening, while trying to finish a bioethics paper in bed, I receive a message from Johnny.

J: what are you doing?

Me: I’m trying to write this damn paper and it’s pissing me off

J: you want some cookies?

J: maybe it’ll help you write your paper

Me: Mm okay. I’ll be downstairs in a few

“Are you going downstairs?” Jia asks as I begin shuffling around and grabbing my backpack and a small blanket.

“Yeah.”

“Did you go to the library with Johnny earlier?”

I freeze in place and slowly turn around. How did she know about that?

“I saw you guys walking back together when I was coming back from my review session,” she continues, answering my question without her knowledge. 

“Oh, yeah. He asked to meet me there.”

“Oooh!” She cracks into a wide, shit-eating grin. “He likes you! Are you meeting him downstairs too?!”

“Yeah, he said he had cookies. I want some.”

“Oh my gosh… do you like him?!”

I feel the heat rise up into my cheeks. “I mean, I think he’s cute and he’s fun to hang around with, but I don’t think I like him like that.”

“Oh yeah… if he has a girlfriend, you probably shouldn’t.” She ponders for a few seconds and her eyes shoot open. “Do you think his girlfriend knows he’s hanging out with you?!”

I mentally scoff. If Johnny is actually interested in me like that, I bet he’s conveniently left it out of any conversations with his girlfriend that he’s hanging around another girl and grabbing onto her backpack strap so that he doesn’t get “lost” in the library.

“My guess is probably not.”

I quickly leave and consider the conversation I had had with my dad earlier. I called to tell him about Johnny asking to meet at the library, grabbing onto my backpack, his various offers of cookies and what not. Basically, dad thinks that Johnny probably likes me. His opinion on the girlfriend thing? He’s not sure since we don’t know whether or not Johnny actually has one. It’s strange that she showed up once and then never again and that he’s never mentioned her. This is starting to sound eerily familiar. It’s a problem for later. I need to focus on finals for now.

There is one thing that I hadn’t realized until now though.

Jaemin hasn’t come to mind as frequently.

Perhaps I was finally getting over him.

“What’s the paper for?” Johnny asks as I set my things down at the table on his left.

“It’s for some bioethics class. I’m doing research on pesticides and lymphoma. Not exactly a happy topic.”

He pushes the cookies over to me, gesturing with his left hand for me to take some. My brow raises in curiosity when a piece of jewelry on his wrist catches my eye. It’s a thin, black band with a circular charm hanging off it. It looks like there’s something engraved on it, but I can’t tell because the backside is facing up.

“What’s the bracelet for?”

“Hm?” Johnny raises his left arm and runs his hand through his hair. “Which one?”

I raise my brow at him. “The only black one around your wrist…”

“Oh.” He lowers his hand and looks at his wrist. “Um, it’s a bracelet from my girlfriend.”

I deadpan for a few seconds before quickly remarking, “Oh. Nice!” and following with forced smile.

I turn back to my laptop, trying to pretend to read through my essay. Though, if my facial expression clearly conveys annoyance, I wouldn’t be surprised.

See! This is exactly what I meant about not being able to assume anyone has morals. Interested in Johnny, Y/N? Not anymore. Never mind.

Oh well. It’s not like I got that far with this anyway.

There’s a quick motion coming from my right and suddenly the room becomes dimmer as a baseball cap is placed on my head. I slowly turn to look at Johnny, still slightly miffed at the revelation from seconds earlier. He smiles warmly at me.

“Do you want to go to the library tomorrow?” he asks.

“Why did you do that?” I ask without answering his question.

“What?” He shrugs. “So do you want to go? We should wake up really early in the morning to go so that we can get a head start on studying!”

I nod my head. “Okay.”

What are you doing? There should be some blaring siren going off in your head, but there isn’t. Oh, that’s right. It’s because you’re still attracted to him.

I grab the hat on my head and place it back on his.

“You don’t like it?”

“It’s too big for me.”

“It’s a thinking cap. It’ll help you with your essay.”

“If only it were that easy.”

Johnny chuckles and then opens Facebook on his laptop. He has two messages: one from Hendery and another from someone with the nickname “Boo boo.” It’s times like these where I’m glad I have good control over my facial expressions and can easily type out an essay while reading over someone’s shoulder.

Boo boo’s profile picture is clearly of a girl and when Johnny opens her chat box, I see that boo boo sent a bunch of heart stickers. He follows by responding with a few hearts and a “hiii boo boo!! i love youuuuuu soooo much!!!” It goes back and forth like that a few more times.

I have to try not to gag. Is this what people are like with their boyfriends and girlfriends? Am I going to be like that? Oh gross.

Maybe I just don’t understand what love is. Who am I to question their love? However, if Johnny is “soooo in looooove” with his girlfriend, why is he acting like this with me?

If this is a repeat of Jaemin, I’m walking right into a trap. 

The rest of dead week played out the same way. Wake up in the morning, go to the library with Johnny, watch Johnny send “I looovvee youuu” messages to boo boo, study in the evening with Johnny, grab a study snack with Johnny, spend time with Chaeyoung and Hendery while with Johnny.

My whole study life started revolving around Johnny. And really, it was simply having someone to spend time with. Johnny and I could sit in a comfortable silence and study for our own classes, occasionally taking breaks to eat or show each other videos. It was a good arrangement and I liked my new friend.

But the sad truth was, I liked my new friend a little too much and I had a feeling that nothing good was going to come of it.

Johnny had a girlfriend and he knew that I knew he had a girlfriend. I’ve never been interested in home wrecking and I certainly wasn’t saying anything or doing anything other than spending time with him, to indicate that I had a crush on him. But here we are a year later with the same problem: is it morally wrong for me to be spending time with this guy when I have a crush on him while fairly certain that his behavior was indicative that he liked me? Isn’t he technically emotionally cheating on his girlfriend?

I think the way I tried to justify this was by telling myself that I wasn’t the one initiating the hang outs or study sessions. Johnny would ask and I had the option of agreeing or declining. And sincerely, since I was just trying to study, I didn’t see anything wrong with it.

On the last day of finals, I joined Johnny, Chaeyoung, Jia, Shotaro, Hendery, Sungchan, and a few others in the dining room, celebrating over a box of donuts and cups of hot chocolate. We were exchanging social media accounts to keep up with each other over the break.

“Hey,” Johnny greets as he grabs the empty seat next to me. “Are you going home tomorrow?”

I shake my head. “No, the day after.”

“Do you wanna grab lunch together tomorrow? Hendery is leaving and I’m also not leaving until Sunday.”

“Oh, sure! That would be fun!”

“Cool!”

He throws his baseball cap on top of my head and suddenly the room is quiet. I can tell that everyone is looking at me. I keep my gaze down on the table and take a few seconds to respond with a laugh.

“I don’t want your hat!” I exclaim playfully, pulling it off and trying to put it back on him.

He lightly shoves my arm away. “It looks better on you.”

I ignore him and put the hat down on the table and move to grab another donut from the box, silently praying everyone will stop watching and pretend like nothing happened.

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