#i need james in a way that will set women’s rights back by 50 years

[iheartjameshetfield]

god the feminist in me leaving my body the second i open this app

[biderboy]

You Promised || J.P

a/n - i’m in a bad mood so u can be 2 !

-

it’s not that you couldn’t believe it, because you could. you saw it with your own two eyes, you felt it in the way you hands shook and it felt like all the air was sucked from around you.

you thought it would be okay, you thought things would be fine. you should have known better, the universe was never that kind to you.

you wanted to laugh, even if it made you crazy, you felt like you’d seen it coming for months, for years.

you should have know it would happen now, in the midst of a war, on some saturday afternoon where you weren’t even suppose to be.

it always works that way doesn’t it? when the universe gives you james potter, but never really gives him to you.

cruel joke.

it didn’t matter, maybe you were meant to be there. after months of being on a mission tracking a group of death eaters, it’s the first “get together” you could make it to.

in the middle of a war it is kind of hard to see the people you grew up with.

but you made it, beaten and bloody and mentally scared to a degree, with blood on your hands that you couldn’t tell was yours or your enemies.

you made it.

you couldn’t be sure what to expect. you were hoping everyone was still there, that everyone made it. it’d been a good 5 months, and so much could happen.

and so much did apparently happen.

you reckon it could be your fault, not keeping in touch. it’s not like you could, it probably would have gotten you killed, but you still figured maybe it would stop the sinking feeling in your chest now.

as you stood, hands shaking and tears in your eyes, not from happiness, but a mixture of relief and disbelief.

lily evans stood in front of you, a soft smile on her face was a hand rested on her stomach.

and james potter stood next to her, a smile he used to only reserve for you, spread widely on his face, his own arm wrapped around the obviously pregnant women.

oh. okay.

it took the group a total of 50 seconds to realize you were standing there, and sirius was the first to rush up to you, wild grin on his face.

“y/n! you’re back!!!!” and he engulfed you in a hug, you weakly returned, half to be back in familiar, safe arms.

“i’m back.” and yet you couldn’t stop the voice crack, or the tears that still threatened to fall out.

if sirius noticed, he didn’t say anything, but his arms wrapped around you a bit tighter. as if he was holding you together, and at that point, maybe he was.

remus was there next, small smile and warm hands and a soft whisper of “i’m sorry”

as if the werewolf knew, and it wouldn’t be surprising if he did. he’s the only one who knew about you and james in the first place, and you reckon he’s the only one who really knew how these “missions” went down.

peter was there too, wrapping his arms around you and hugging tightly in a way only peter seemed to do, as if he thought he’d lose you within the next minute.

and for a moment things felt okay, things felt normal. you were home, you were alive, you were loved.

until they came along.

“y/n! we’re so glad your safe!” lily smiled, that wonderfully beautiful smile, she was practically glowing and though you were upset, no bone in your body could ever be mad at her.

you smiled, hugging her gently, minding the bump, “thank you lils”

“hey y/n, glad you’re back okay.” and there he was. still bright eyes, still soft smile that radiated all the stars in the universe.

you felt yourself melt, when he looked at you it felt like it was the only thing that mattered.

but it couldn’t matter anymore, not if the ring on lily’s finger was anything to go by.

“so, what did i miss?” you turned around, not bothering to hug the man, fearing you’d break down in more ways then one.

sirius perked up, puppy like, eager to spew everything you missed, and you listened intently, leaning back against remus on the sofa you both sat on.

“and evans and prongs are having a baby !!!”

yeah, that’s what you figured.

but sirius looked so happy, a light in his eyes you hadn’t seen since the news from regulus hit, and lily’s eyes were so warm and they deserved this, if anything else.

and a baby, a baby! that’s great, despite the way your breath caught in your throat, all the memories and kisses and whispers of praise and plans came flooding in. but you were good at acting, been going on for 6 months and counting, it’s hot so hard to lie once more.

“oh my!! that’s so wonderful! i’m so happy for you guys!” and a wide smile that nobody but maybe remus and peter saw through, and they were sold. case closed.

but james held your gaze, pain in his eyes as if he was the one hurting.

no, it wasn’t fair.

you excused yourself, looking for any reason to escape for 2 minutes. not hearing remus follow you out.

“it’s okay to want to punch him.” you heard from behind you, a voice so solid and real that you almost gasped out a cry.

(5 months alone does things that can’t just be undone.)

“i can’t just punch him moony.” you sighed, looking out towards the sunset, picking at the still dry blood on your hands.

you felt a hand on your back, so familiar you leaned into the werewolf and let a single tear fall from your eye.

because you wanted to punch him, you wanted to scream and yell and make him bleed the way you did for months while he was here fucking around with a redhead.

you wanted to make him hurt, you wanted to make his lungs close up and tears strain in his eyes, you wanted him to desperately claw at his throat and arms in hopes the pain would seep through his fingertips.

you wanted him to feel the earth unravel beneath him, to feel time stop ticking and all the color slowly fade from his view.

you wanted him to feel how you felt right now.

“he promised moony, he swore on his heart.” you brokenly whispered,no longer feeling your own heart beat in your chest, you wondered if it was even still there.

“and he broke it.” he whispered back, you could feel the tension in his shoulders and you smiled, remus was mad. remus was angry. remus probably knew from the moment he first saw the two together, he’d probably been waiting to knock james’ teeth in, and you would gladly let him.

no you wouldn’t, a voice whispered, and you wanted to yank your own lungs from your chest.

the voice was right.

because no matter how much pain he could cause, you still loves james potter.

you still thought about how his eyes shone in the moonlight, and how his hands fit almost perfectly in yours. for months you held onto the whispers and traced the same paths his fingertips once did.

and you loved him so much that you didn’t think twice leaving for the mission, to know james would be safe if you did your part, to know james would wait for you, like he promised.

and he always promised.

in 4th year when you had to go back home for summer, he smiled and held your hand, “we’ll be here for you when you get back.”

in 6th year when you were in the hospital wing, being transported to saint mugos, “i’ll do anything you need.”

when you graduated with tears in your eyes and stuttering breaths, “i’ll be right by your side.”

and when you took that mission, behind closed doors, breaths colliding and souls conjoined, he whispered, “ill wait for you.”

that’s the first promise he broke. maybe, maybe he broke more, but you didn’t want to think about it, couldn’t think about it by the voice that interrupted you.

“moony? can i talk to them?” you felt remus shake his head, but you stopped him.

“what do you want james?”

and remus didn’t leave, no he wouldn’t. unlike some people, he never did.

but you insisted, telling him it was fine even if it wasn’t, that it would only take a few minutes, yet it would take years to mend whatever james broke.

“i just wanted to-“

“if you’re here to say sorry save it, it would be a lie.” you cut off, looking back at your hands.

“y/n i just want you to know i’m glad you’re okay.” he whispered, the same way he used to in the room of requirement, or the latte nights in muggle towns, or sneaking into his kitchen at 4 am.

“yeah.”

it didn’t matter anymore, he was with lily, it was fine. meant to be even. the way he looked at her, the way she looked at him. lily deserved this.

you sat in silence for a few minutes, but the tears were back and the wind was cold now. you couldn’t just sit and pretend you knew why he did it, you didn’t know. the way he looked at you before you left was everything you could ever hope for, like he was saying goodbye to his world. and maybe, he was.

“you promised james.” you whispered, dejected in every way, finally meeting his eyes, they were as beautiful as you remembered, but they weren’t yours to love anymore.

“and i broke it.” he looked out to the setting sun, it was gone now, leaving behind a darkness that wouldn’t fade until early morning.

the sun left, and soon, james turned away, and left too.

[mirkwoodshewolf]

The trial begins; Roger Taylor x reader x oc male

*Author’s note*

Well it’s been a LOOOOOONG time since I did a Rock Angel update but I finally got the time to do it and finally finish the DARKEST chapter of the Rock Angel’s life. So everything from here on out will be either PURE FLUFF OR PURE ANGST. Now I did my best to research actual court trial procedures plus using my brief knowledge of the justice system from a couple classes I took back in college but if there’s anything I got wrong and you’re actually studying court system/law enforcement PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLLLEEEEEEAAAAAAASSSSSE LET. ME. KNOW.

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things​

@waddles03​

@psychosupernatural​

@ixchel-9275​

@simonedk​

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels​

@queensdivas​

@queendeakyy​

@geek-and-proud​

@wormzteef​

@queen-paladin​

@starswin​

@isabella-bby​

@5sos-wdw​

@bohemiansweede​

@onebigfangirlworld​

@ssa-sadboi​

@naturalswifty89​

@labessieisallama​

___________________________________________________________

Six months of physical rehab, a year of therapy, and 2 surgeries later, I was finally able to get back to some normalcy.  Of course the nightmares were frequent every night and of course the kids, especially Kelly, suffered a great deal of it as well.

During my rehabilitation in physical therapy, I had done a court case against James Woods for unprofessional hiring and neglect of care for his client’s safety and managed to sue his ass for over $275,000. Not only that but Hollywood Records fired his arse and once his name became public, no record company wanted to do business with him ever again.

But of course the main trail against Steve was still to come. Due to the restrictions of his uncle no longer able to help him out anymore, Steve’s bail money was set for $75,000.  And since no one could afford to bail him out, Steve remained in prison until the trial date set for March 19th.

I was currently sitting on a tire swing in the barn at mom’s and Misha’s place.  Since the news were running my story everywhere, Jack thought it best to keep us and the kids away from the city press so we went to his parent’s farm to hide away from the stress. The sky was cloudy and it was slightly chilly out today but I barely acknowledged it due to my nerves as the trial date was drawing near. I soon felt a jacket come around my shoulders and a soft voice said.

“Reminds me of when you rain out during that rainstorm when Prenter revealed your secret to us.”

“I’d feel a lot better if you didn’t mention that arsehole’s name right now dad.”

“You’re right I’m sorry. But hey be thankful this time you’re in a barn and not out in the pouring rain. After that day you got sick for 4 days.”

“Yeah. And you and Deacy were there to take care of me the entire time. Hell you skipped an entire rehearsal to take care of me.”

“You’re my daughter (n/n). I’ll always be there to take care of you. Even when you don’t want me to.” He said as he leaned up against the tire swing and swayed us from side to side.

Since being released from the hospital, while Deacy went home to tell Ronnie and the rest of the kids I was fine, and Brian had to go back for his solo tour, Roger elected to stay with me and the rest of the family to help take care of us.  

He called Dominque and his side chic of his decision to stay with me till the trail was over and the two women accepted his decision (which was a shocker on Debbie’s part. I knew Dominque understood).

“What’s going on in that head of yours lovey?” he asked me. He stopped the swaying and came in front of me, his hands holding onto the rope.

“I’m terrified dad.” I admitted.  “With the court date—I know I’m going to have to face him and it—fucking terrifies me. You know he’s gonna be looking at me the entire time. But I can’t just abandon the trial, otherwise he’ll walk free with hardly a sentence.” He sighed deeply.

“I know this isn’t easy for you. Hell if it were up to me, I would’ve never allowed it to come this far. I’m your father and I failed to protect you.”

“But you didn’t know dad. In truth it’s really my fault. I should’ve spoken up about this to you and the guys before it escalated it the way it did.”

“Hold it right there. Don’t go blaming yourself now (Y/n). This was in no way your fault.”

“Then it shouldn’t be yours.” He nodded.  “I just……what if I don’t have the strength to stay in the same room as him? Or what if the law gives him a slap on the wrist like they’ve done before?” Roger came around and wrapped an arm around my collar bone, his chin resting on my head as his other hand rubbed my left arm up and down.

“Because unlike before where they couldn’t prove he did those things, the news has proof of his attempted murder of you. Your lawyers have pulled up all the evidence of the additional charges that you and Jack want to charge him with, he can’t win this time. Your prosecutors won’t allow that to happen.”

“I just wish Freddie was here to help me with this.”

“So do I love. So do I. But do you know what he’d tell you right now?” I looked up at him and he looked right at me. “He’d tell you. ‘Buck up darling. You go to that courtroom, look that fucker in the eye. And show him he didn’t win. That he can’t win. For while he may be the Big Bad Wolf, you are the Lioness Queen.’”

Dad hugged me and I placed my hand on his arm that was still wrapped across my collar bone and leaned my head against his chest.

*March 19th, 1994. One hour till court hearing*

Back in New York City; Dad, Jack, and myself had just arrived at the New York airport. Waiting for us was my lawyer Mr. Barnes and the rest of the Prosecuting team.  And of course the media wanted a piece of me before the court hearing.  So Jack and Roger were sandwiching me out of the eyes of the media, while my lawyers were diverting the cameras away from me till we got to the car.

“Mrs. Kline do you have anything to say on behalf of this case!”

“Do you believe Steve Harrison should be given the death penalty?”

“Did you engage any intimate relationships with Mr. Harrison?”

“My client has no comments at this time!” Mr. Barnes stated firmly to the press as Jack quickly guided me inside the car.  Roger came in after him followed by Mr. Barnes and the others.

The driver immediately headed for the courthouse and Mr. Barnes told me.

“Alright so Mrs. Kline. Just to review you are still willingly to make your testimony on the stand, correct?”

“Correct.”

“Now I know you’ve been through a lot and his DA team will try to push your buttons but I must strictly advise you to keep your composure and your temper because if you bat an eye once or raise your voice for any reason, the DA will use that to their advantage.”

“I’ll do my best. Truthfully, I just want this whole mess over with so that I never have to see him again.” Jack took my hand in both of his giving it a comforting squeeze, while dad rubbed my shoulder.

“Understood ma’am.” The rest of the drive was pretty silent until we arrived at the courthouse.

As we entered inside not only were their lawyers, security guards, and various other people there for other trials, the rest of the NYC press was also there.

“THERE SHE IS!!! THE ROCK ANGEL!!!” A female reporter called out.  Once again we were horded by a swarm of cameras and microphones/tape recorders being shoved in our faces.

“My client refuses to speak or make any comments at this time! Now all of you please move back! Can we get security over here!” soon enough police and security made their way through the crowd and tried to back off the vultures.  But New York press people are as tough as they come, when they want something they’ll do anything to get it.

They proved themselves strong and determined to get a word out of me, but I just held my shades over my eyes and kept my head down to avoid any cameras getting a picture of my face.  Finally after what felt like forever, we arrived at the room where my trial was being held.

Already the room was packed with people, the media that was allowed to document this case had their cameras set up and their recorders ready to record what they needed.

My attorneys guided me towards the desk where we would be sitting at while Jack and my dad took their seats in the crowd just two rows behind us.  I sat down inbetween Mr. Barnes and Mr. Wilson, the leading Prosecutor and we all waited for the moment of truth for Steve to arrive.

About 20min. later, the DA team came in and walking in between a very large fat man and a thinner older man with white hair was Steve Harrison. In chains and in that infamous orange jumpsuit.  

When his eyes looked directly at me, I once again saw that empty look in his eyes.  There was just nothing there in those piercing brown eyes of his.  But spreading across his face was a smug grin. It was faint but I could see it clear as day as he kept staring me down.

“Don’t look at him. He’s trying to provoke you.” Mr. Wilson, the Head Prosecutor whispered to me. “Just look at the Judge and block him out.” As the courtroom continued to fill in with people as well as the 12 jurors, I felt my heart beating faster and my palms grew sweater by the second.

“He’s still looking over at me, I can feel it.”

“Again don’t let him get under your skin. I’m told you’re called Mama Lioness for a reason, now let me see that.” Mr. Wilson whispered to me again.  I took a deep breath and recomposed myself. “Atta girl.” He encouraged me.  As 9o’clock struck, the bailiff said.

“All rise for the Honorable Judge Mayweather.” We all stood up and soon coming in was a man around his 50’s, maybe even 60’s, wearing prescription glasses which emphasized his blue eyes.  He was a tall, lean man standing well over 6ft tall.  

“You may now be seated.” He said with a soft but commanding tone as he took his seat at the podium.  We all sat down and he opened the files. “The charges against the defendant Steve Harrison include attempted 1st degree murder, aggravated stalking, and 1st degree kidnapping. How does the defendant plea?”

“Not guilty your honor.” Steve’s obese lawyer proclaimed. Of course he’d plead not guilty.

“Very well. We shall began with the opening statements from each side. Prosecution, you have the floor.”

“Thank you your honor.” Mr. Barnes stated as he stood up. He paced around the front of the courtroom and made his opening statement, “Ladies and gentlemen of the court; Obsession is a dangerous thing. We all feel it. Whether it’s for the next best product, or for someone we want in our lives. And my client has been a victim of one man’s obsession for more than a year and a half. The defendant Steve Harrison not only put her through a living hell but also her entire family. Harassing, assaulting and even kidnapping my client’s eldest child. All for the sake of a delusion he had in his mind. But he had the conscious to know what he was doing was wrong. Mr. Harrison plotted, articulated and chose his methods on how to harm my client and her family and last June he almost achieved his goal when he put those two bullets in her before a live audience.”

“Thank you Mr. Barnes.” Judge Mayweather spoke.  Mr. Barnes came and sat down beside me as the judge continued, “Defense council, you may give your opening statement.” Steve’s lawyer stood up and stood before the court.

“Abuse, fear, and control. My client has dealt with these issues his entire life. His uncle manipulated him into pleasing his every demand for he was the only father-figure he had in his life. My client wanted to do everything to please his uncle’s every demand. But it was not also just his uncle, it was also the so called ‘Rock Angel’ that had seduced him into thinking she actually cared for him.”

Excuse me?! I almost wanted to raise my voice and call Steve’s lawyer out for his accusations but one stern look from Mr. Wilson told me to keep my mouth shut, less I risk making myself look bad before the jury and call this a mistrial.

“Not only that but also the threat’s from the Angel’s husband also caused my client great fear and anxiety. He felt like he needed to defend himself so as we begin this trial I ask you, the jurors to see that it was my client who was forced into committing these acts as a means of protection. Not out of his own desire, but for his own safety. Thank you.” He bowed his head before taking his seat.

“Right then. We shall now begin with the 1st charge of attempted murder. Prosecutor Wilson, do you have your first witness?”

“We do your honor. Prosecution calls Jack Kline to the stand.” Mr. Barnes stated.  Jack stood up from the audience and proceeded towards the stand.  Once he was there, Mr. Wilson held the Holy Bible and held it out to Jack, who then placed his right hand on top of it while raising his left hand in the air.  “Do you solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you God?”

“I do.” Jack replied before taking his seat at the stand. It was then Mr. Barnes came up and proceeded with the direct examination.

“Mr. Kline can you tell us what happened prior to the concert shooting last June?”

“My wife (Y/n) was finishing up the last leg of her tour. On March 4th, 1992 we received a letter from Steve Harrison.”

“And what did the letter say?”

“It said a lot of things. About her about me but what really caught our eyes was he wrote and I quote. ‘I’ve had enough of this bullshit. If I can’t have you, no one can. So you better perform with one eye on the audience and one eye on the shadows. I’m going to kill you, you fucking bitch’.”

“And according to you and your cousin Jensen, who was acting as her head security. He tried to harm her, is that true?” Mr. Barnes asked.

“Yes. At her show in Atlanta he snuck in through the screen room and tried to kidnap her.” Mr. Barnes nodded and said to the jury.

“After his arrest in Atlanta, police reports said they found zip-ties, a bottle of chloroform and a 6in steel blade hunting knife. He was detained for only 8 weeks when his bail was made by an anonymous payer.” He turned back to Jack. “What happened the day of the concert at Madison Square Garden?”

At that point I saw Jack tense up.  He shifted uncomfortably before he said.

“My wife was up on stage performing her favorite Queen song, which she made a cover of per Freddie’s request, and just before she ended the song. Steve, in police uniform, came up behind my wife and shot her in the back. As she lay there on the floor he shot her again in the stomach. Then I—” he trailed off as he glared towards Steve who looked at him blankly.

His eyes were just soulless as they stared up at Jack.  While Jack’s eyes were full of hatred.

“I then watched him take her wedding ring right off her finger before smirking at me. Like he was proud that he took my wife’s life and the symbol of her being my wife, my equal.”

“Thank you, nothing further your honor.” Mr. Barnes walked back to his seat.  Now it was Steve’s lawyer’s time to cross examine my husband’s statement.

“You said that Steve wrote you a letter. Directed to both you and your wife is that correct?”

“Yes. Yes he did.”

“Said some crude stuff about you and your wife, correct?”

“Yes. Called her some stuff I’d really rather not stay and do things that no other man should do to her.”

“Objection!” Mr. Barnes exclaimed.

“Overruled.” Judge Mayweather said.

“Ladies and gentlemen I have here in my hand a copy of the letter written by my client. It is a hefty one I give you that but let me direct your attention to page 3, 4th paragraph. My client has written in detail. ‘On Halloween night of 1992, your husband physically beat me and then with no reason at all, sicked your dogs on me. I had to get 25 stitches on my leg and 30 on my right arm.’ Did you order your dogs to attack my client?”

“Only because he broke into my house after he assaulted me first!”

“Ladies and gentlemen I also have here in my hands the police report of that night. Let the record show that my client in no shape or form, physically break into the Rock Angel’s home . The door was wide open, there were no security cameras. So who’s to say that the dogs didn’t attack my client outside of the house?” I looked to the jury and some of them were actually believing what the Defense was saying. “Now Mr. Kline you do realize that dog attacks are a serious offense. Especially according to California law, right?”

“Objection your honor! Steve Harrison still entered the premise illegally by accounts to his restraining order!” Mr. Wilson stated as he stood up.

“That is true. Defense counselor best you alternate your question on that remark.” Take that you son of a bitch.  Steve’s lawyer turned back to Jack and he said.

“But you still confirm that you allowed your dogs to attack my client?”

“Yes. Because your client was about to attack my 6 year old daughter and 2 year old twin sons.”

“Nothing further your honor.” Steve’s lawyer said.  Jack was then allowed to go back to sit beside Roger.

The court continued on and after briefing for a half hour recess, the trial continued and finally I was allowed to take the stand. I swore under oath and my lawyer questioned me.

“Now Mrs. Kline what can you tell us about Steve Harrison when your first met him? Did you at all have anything to do with hiring him?”

“No. His uncle hired him as a favor for his sister, to ensure that Steve finally got himself a job.” I took a pause there thinking back to the day I first met Steve. “At first he seemed like a nice guy. He seemed to know what he was doing so it wasn’t like he was unqualified. He got me to my appointments on time, kept my schedule in check. And remained professional for the first year and a half of being hired.”

“Now you said he remained professional after a year and a half. Care to elaborate on what changed between you two?”

“It was 2 months after the Freddie Mercury tribute concert, the start of summer 1992. I was recording my last album ‘Fly High Mercury’. I barely slept in a week; Steve was there helping me out. We talked about the album, then it transitioned into family talk. As we were talking he started to get a little too close to me, actually even pining me up against the wall of the studio. Next thing I knew, his lips were on mine. He was kissing me without my consent.”

“And as you claim, everything went downhill from there?”

“Yes. The gifts, the constant phone calls, the harassment in the studio. Going off on delusions telling me things like why did I marry Jack Kline? That our kids should’ve been from his sperm. Telling me how in the music industry singers are always cheating on their spouses and I’m no different. That we could have a separate life together while I continue to rise to the top.”

“Which meant you sleeping with him while he helped make your name bigger?”

“Yes. But I refused. Because I’m not like those women who will sleep around to get what she wants. I’ll get it my way through my resources and strengths.” Mr. Barnes nodded at me with a slight grin at the corner of his face.

“Nothing further your honor.”  Now it was the defense attorney’s turn.

“You’ll get through the music industry through your own resources and your own strengths.” He asked in more of a questioning tone as he came up towards me.

“Along with the support and love of my family.” I added.

“Interesting. Mrs. Kline isn’t it true that you first began your career with the help of Queen’s help?”

“Objection your honor! How is this relevant to this case?” Mr. Wilson proclaimed.

“I’ll be getting to that your honor but Mrs. Kline must answer my question.” The greasy, obese man stated as he leaned closer towards my podium.  I could just smell the disgusting cigar breath off his lips.

“Mrs. Kline, please answer the question.” The judge told me to do.

“They—helped me with my confidence in getting in front of an audience. But at the time I had no idea until hours before the show that’s what they were going to be doing.”

“And then afterwards you continued to use Queen’s resources to help you gain the fame you got in just under a year when most artists especially female singers can hardly get to that degree of fame on their own?”

“Objection your honor! He’s badgering the victim!” Mr. Wilson tried to suade the judge but judge Mayweather overruled it.

“I—we did have the same manager. But how is that different in the case when John Reid was managing both Queen and Elton John over 20 years ago?”

“Mr. Russell, I do hope you’re going somewhere with this because at this point you’re starting to try my patience.”

“Your honor this woman claims to use resources and her own strength, when, in fact, she manipulates men into getting what she wants in life. You said that you hadn’t slept in a week when recording the album? As we all know lack of sleep causes delusions and false memories of events. What if you merely imagined that my client tried to kiss you that night in the studio? And then afterwards had become so paranoid that you antagonized my client to be the villain in this court case!”

“I know what happened as clear as day that night in the studio. And I wasn’t imagining what I saw!” I snapped furiously at him.

“Mrs. Kline control your temper or I will have you placed under contempt of court!” Judge Mayweather warned me.

“Nothing further your honor.” Steve’s lawyer spoke before returning to his chair.  I was then called off back to my chair and I brushed my fingers through my hair anxiously.

“Just breathe. Don’t let the jury think they might’ve seen a false allegation in this case.” Mr. Barnes whispered to me.  I took a few deep breaths before recomposing myself.

Finally it was Steve’s turn to take the stand.

His defense team started off by asking pretty much the same questions Mr. Barnes asked me.  How he got the job, what was it like working for me.  And of course Steve tried to paint himself as the victim and I’ll admit he was a damn good actor.  Some of the jury was actually swayed by his performance.

I was petrified that even here in the Supreme Court of New York, Steve Harrison was gonna walk away with a slap on the wrist like he has been for the past 2 years.

For five days the trail continued on the same way, people taking their turn on the stands, each side providing their evidence to the jury with each charge we were doing against Steve.  

On the 6th day it was time for the final claims as well as closing statements.

“Mrs. Kline, can you describe to us the day when your daughter disappeared from school?” Mr. Barnes asked me.

“Well….” I adjusted the microphone in front of me and said. “I was busy planning my next upcoming tour and Jack had to work overtime at the car dealers. But we had asked my cousin in law Jared go pick her up. The school requires a full on sign-in sheet of additional guardians who are allowed to pick up the students in case the parents can’t pick up their students.”

“And you had Mr. Ackles name to that list correct?”

“Yes. Along with his wife, brother, sister in law and my in-laws as well as the remaining members of Queen.”

“And how did you know that Kelly had been taken my Steve?”

“Jared had called me from the school and told me that Kelly had already been picked up by someone and after an hour and a half, that’s when I got the call from Steve himself. Telling me to meet him at Bull Creek.”

“And did at any time did you give Steve Harrison full permission to pick up your daughter?”

“No. None of my Rock Angel team had authorization to go to Kelly’s school.” He then pulled out a file of Steve’s forged note with my signature on it that gave him clearance to pick Kelly up.

“Now as you can see here, I hold in my hand the actual documented note of Mr. Harrison’s forged letter of Pick-Up for one Kelly Kline. Her school codes states, that if there isn’t any documentation of said people to pick up the child in question, they must provide a note signed by the parent themselves in order to pick up the child.”

“Objection!” Steve’s DA proclaimed.

“Overruled.” Judge Mayweather stated.

“Knowing this; Mr. Harrison printed out the letter of documented proof that he had access to pick up Kelly Kline. He then forged Mrs. Kline’s signature as you’ll see up close here.” On the overhead projector he had both my real signature and Steve’s forged signature with my name on it. “Now as you can see it’s practically identical. But if you look very closely there is a difference.” He then put a magnifying glass up to my last name.  “You’ll notice how she writes the K with a curved slant at the top right line for the K itself. While on Mr. Harrison’s forged signature the corner line is completely straight.”

“Objection your honor! Everyone writes their signatures slightly different every time. This shows no proof that my client forged her signature.” Steve’s DA proclaimed.

“If I may your honor before I was interrupted by my assistant council, I have more proof on why this letter was not signed by my client.”

“Proceed.” The judge granted him.  He then removed the two comparisons and pulled up a paper where I was forced to give my signature ten times.  

“As you can see here this is my client’s handwritten signature. Now look at the K’s.” he pulled the magnifying glass up to the top corner line to show each one had that exact same curve.  “Each one of her top corners has that slight curve to them. Ten. Times my client has written her name. And all ten times each K had that curve on the top corner. Not once does she alternate how she curves it, or accidentally do a straight slant. Each. Top. Corner. Is curved.” The jurors all looked at each other, some of them nodding.  “So it proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that Mr. Harrison forged my client’s signature to gain access to her daughter, kidnapping her in order to gain my client’s attention. Forcing her to a remote area where god knows what he could’ve had in mind. But my client isn’t some damsel in distress.” Mr. Barnes turned to look up at me.

“Mrs. Kline you may return to the Prosecutor’s table.” As I stood up and walked down Judge Mayweather called for closing statements. Steve’s DA came up and the fat man stated.

“We all have our obsessions; we all make mistakes. But my client is not insane. He gave Mrs. Kline everything she ever wanted, he kept things professional and it was all due to the paranoia of a celebrity that my client Steve Harrison was bullied, manipulated and forced to take drastic measures to defend himself from the public eye. He is not the villain in this story, he is a victim. And it is up to you, the jury, on who you wish to believe. The money of a celebrity, or the desperate plea of a victim corrupted by the music industry.”

My eyes narrowed at the obese man but I turned my head away as my Prosecutor Mr. Wilson stood up.  The middle aged African American paced the courtroom as he said.

“Celebrities aren’t just about the money. It’s not as easy as we may think it is to get as big as they are. They go through struggles financially, mentally and sometimes physically. Now my client did have help but she had her fair share of struggles. As a young woman in an all-male industry they wanted to change her image, to make her follow the typical female artist crowd of showing too much skin, exploiting themselves. But the Rock Angel refused to let that be her image. And she kept that image strong, but there’s also another risk of being a woman in the spotlight. She’s more likely to attacks. Not because she asks for it because she doesn’t. Steve Harrison saw (Y/n) Kline not as she was trying to be but who she was. A famous person whom he believed belonged to him. He used his uncle’s position as her manager to get close to her, and meticulously planned to worm his way into her life. But when she refused to accept his dominance, he snapped. He stalked, harassed, kidnapped her daughter, and finally attempted to murder him. All because she said the one thing men don’t like a woman to say. No. No she wasn’t going to fall for him, No she wasn’t going to leave her adoring husband and kids for him, No she wouldn’t be his. And Steve Harrison took offense to that. And if he goes free, then what’s to stop other men like him going free that don’t know what the word ‘no’ means?”

Mr. Wilson came back and sat down beside me.  I placed my hand on top of his and he gave me a soft smirk and nod.

“Alright, jurors the decision is all up to you. We’ll reconvene once the jury has reached their verdict.” Soon the 12 jurors left the courtroom as did the rest of us.

Jack, Roger, myself and my legal team were in the court cafeteria drinking some coffee as we waited for the verdict to come in.  Jack and I sat close to each other while Roger sat across from us.  He was currently reading some magazine meanwhile my stomach was tossing and turning.

“Six days and it all comes down to this. God I feel like I’m gonna throw up.”

“Don’t give up just yet baby. With the forged signature and the note they found at his apartment of his plan to shoot you, there’s no way he’s gonna walk scot-free.” He kissed the corner of my lips as we continued to wait.

20 long minutes later and Mr. Barnes’ cellphone rings. He reached in his coat pocket and picks it up.

“Yes?” he straightens himself up. “Yeah. Uh-huh. Alright we’ll be there Sam.” He snaps at us.  “It’s in.” my heart stops as the three of us look at each other and quickly stand up.

Back at the courtroom, everyone is silent as the jurors come back into the room.  The leading female juror, an Asian woman around her mid-40’s held the paper in her hands and handed it to the bailiff.  He walked over to the judge who signed it before giving it back to him. The bailiff walked back to the Asian woman and Judge Mayweather asked.

“What say you?” I held onto Mr. Barnes’ and Mr. Wilson’s hands as tight as I could, my legs were shaking under the desk as I looked at the jury. She looked down at the paper and read out loud.

“In the matter of Steve Harrison vs. New York. We the jury find on the account of attempted 1st degree murder—guilty.” I let out a choked gasp. “On the count of aggravated stalking, we find the defendant……guilty.” At this point tears were pooling under my lashes. “On the count of kidnapping in the 1st degree. Guilty.”

Thank God! He was guilty on all charges! Some people in the crowd even cheered at Steve’s conviction.  On his end, his face dropped entirely as he lowered his head in shame. His DA’s shook their heads in defeat, his lawyer patted his shoulders and whispered to him.

“Then by the state of New York, I hereby sentence Mr. Harrison to life in prison without the possibility of parole. Court is adjourned.” Judge Mayweather stated before banging his gavel once and left the podium.

I hugged Mr. Wilson and thanked him repeatedly.  He embraced me back and congratulated me.  I then turned to Mr. Barnes and embraced him and he gladly embraced me back.  I turned towards Jack and Rog and they were elated with victory.  I went over to Jack and the first thing we did was kiss.

He picked me up and spun me around, our lips still connected with each other’s as Steve was being taken away.  We separated and I made sure to lock my eyes on him and he turned to look at me.  I narrowed my eyes at him and lifted my chin up high, showing him that I wasn’t weak, that he lost and he’d never hurt or even see me or my family ever again.

Soon he disappeared from the room to be transported to the New York penitentiary for attempted murder, aggravated stalking and kidnapping in the 1st degree.

As we left the courtroom, my lawyer James Barnes said to the media that Steve Harrison had been found guilty.

“Mrs. Kline, anything you’d like to say?” before Mr. Barnes could say anything, I placed my hand on his arm and stood before the cameras.

“What happened to me, happens to everyone around the world. Most of the victims are women and some are men. They feel like they’re alone when this happens to them, but they don’t have to be. So this is my message to those who are victims of stalking, assault, or abuse. You are not alone. There are thousands of others like you out there, but if you don’t speak up, you’ll end up one of the millions of unlucky ones that end up dead. Which is why I’m starting up my own organization. ANGELS AGAINST STALKING. To help victims, like me and you, to get the proper care and help you need to protect yourselves. Even when the law can’t do that.”

I walked down the steps of the courthouse with reporters coming after me with follow up questions about my new organization and more on Steve.

But all I did was get into the car and made a phone call to a special friend.  The phone rang a couple times before he answered.

‘Hello?’

“Miami. I need a favor.”

In the next couple of month thanks to some investors that Miami knew, I had set up ANGELS AGAINST STALKING in 3 locations.  One in West London, one in New York, and the other in Tokyo, Japan.  The media was spreading the news of my organization far and wide and I personally saw to it that the Officers who would work there were not only a part of the city’s police, but took the stalking cases seriously.

They were solemnly swore that if a person calls in regularly for someone stalking or threatening them, they need to take it seriously.  If verbal threats were told or they violated a restraining order, they were to take immediate action and give the victim protection.  

A profiler was also assigned to ensure that no one took advantage of this system so that no money needed to be wasted on a false story and an innocent person didn’t have to suffer.  

People who had been stalked in the past were brought in and coached in how to become therapists because no one but a victim would understand what a true victim is going through.

Soon enough by the start of the summer 1994, ANGELS AGAINST STALKING was up and running and phone calls were coming in and donations from any of my concerts would go to this organization to help keep it running and maybe one day the laws would change against stalking and law enforcement would take it seriously instead of brushing it off or accepting bribes from the assailants family.

If there’s anything that this hellish experience has taught me, it’s that you can’t let your attacker, abuser or stalker show them you have lost the battle.  You need to keep fighting, by any means necessary.  Even if law enforcement can’t protect you, find a way to protect yourself.

Surround yourself with loved ones, take self-defense classes, keep those you love closest to you.  Then when the time comes, document what happens and finally show everyone in law enforcement that you were right.

[ryansaiditposts]

The Lore of Folklore:

The Real Story Behind the Characters of Taylor Swift’s Folklore

 

 

We are all familiar with Taylor Swift’s record breaking, surprise quarantine love child, Folklore. Even more so in the Swiftie fanbase, we are familiar with the proverbial “love triangle” established in “Cardigan”, “August”, and “Betty”. What if I told you that I believe the entire album is centered around just these characters at different stages in life with Taylor’s story woven in? Also, what if I said that Taylor/Rebecca were an allegory? Not to mention the complexity of “Hoax” being a combination of all the characters in one? Of course, you would probably ask me for clarification, and that is the intention of the next few paragraphs. These characters reveal certain patterns of behavior, call and responses, and self-referential phrases that map out a much bigger story to tell. The trio of songs mentioned above were just the starting point.

 

To give you an overview of where we will be going, I want to give you the songs as they relate to each character. These will then be fleshed out to connect them in the way I hear and see Folklore play out. The songs and respective characters are as follows:

 

Betty- Cardigan, Mirrorball, and Exile (featuring James)

James- Betty, This Is Me Trying, and Exile (featuring Betty)

Augustine- August, The 1, and Illicit Affairs

Taylor- Seven, Invisible String, Mad Woman, Epiphany

Taylor/Rebecca- The Last Great American Dynasty, My Tears Ricochet, Peace

All Characters- Hoax

 

The genius of this album is that the struggles and identifiers of these characters can sometimes be interchangeable. That is what creates the magic, so take everything I say with a grain of salt. There is more than one perspective to these stories, but this is all what I heard from Inez.

 

The 1 (Augustine)-

I have been sitting with this song for a while. I began to wonder why, for lyrics that for all intents and purposes were sad, did I not get sad listening to this song. Sure, it’s about loss and what could have been, but it’s mere conjecture. Almost like a love that never really existed outside of the storyteller’s imagination. A film that was never made, if you will. Then it hit me, “you weren’t mine to lose”. Augustine simply imagined what it would have been like if the man she did not end up with could have been the one. Betty and James DID have a relationship and the theme of this “film” is repeated in the stories told throughout this album. She would have not gotten the chance to have the movie kind of romance if he had not chosen to be with her. Rose flowing with his chosen family.

 If one thing had been different, could everything be different today? Had he not already been in love with another woman, could we have been the greatest love story ever told? Something also struck me as odd. She called out him meeting some woman on the internet and taking her home. Knowing he has a tendency to stray, there could be a superficial level of jealousy. Imagining that he’s cheating on Betty, but disappointed that it isn’t with her. Not because she’s necessarily a bad person, but I think that as we will see later on in this breakdown, Augustine struggles with conventional relationship types and ties herself to sinking ships for the tragedy of it all.

 

Cardigan (Betty)-

So, not to rehash lore we are already incredibly familiar with, but this song is clearly Betty knowing that James is going to run back to her after straying the path. Cool, amazing, fierce. However, there is language here that suggests this is not the same instance as him showing up to the party. I believe that James has a very toxic pattern resulting from his wondering eye and Betty just has a bad case of loving him. At least, for a while. Betty likes the fact that she is able to show James who he really is when all is said and done, and being someone who has struggled with confidence, she doesn’t want to let this love go too soon. Even if she should. More on that in a bit.

 

Betty says, “Chase two girls, lose The 1”. We all assumed that she was referring to herself, but knowing that she was almost waiting for his return, it’s very possible that she intended to forgive him even before he asked. She had scars from years of not being enough and she may have even been bullied as indicated by this and him seeing in her what others could not when he was present in the relationship. That feeling of “what if” made sure she would not completely walk away. When you are young they assume you know nothing. Well, knowing something does not mean you know everything and I think she stayed long enough to find that out the hard way. Peter does lose Wendy because he cannot grow up.

 

The Last Great American Dynasty (Taylor/Rebecca)-

 

Taylor owns the previous home of Rebecca Harkness in Rhode Island. This beachside mansion has all the salt air and cliffsides to scream off of that anyone would want. Rebecca has a big reputation as a maneater who just isn’t ladylike and mild mannered enough. Sound familiar? Taylor Swift has been demonized, ridiculed, and made infamous based solely off of complete speculation. Rebecca faced the same fate as a middle-class divorcee who was cast as a gold digger after the Standard Oil estate. Truth is, both of these women were just in search of love that could last. Under circumstances far beyond their control these things ended so loudly that there was no right to privacy while they grieved or attempted to make sense of it all. Worse? They were blamed in a blameless situation.

 

Taylor makes her identity known to mirror Rebecca’s at the end of the story. So, what’s the connection to the album as a whole? Bill grew up in the area that the rest of them would eventually be in later on. Cliffside and salt air, the characters revisit these scenes and similar ones several times throughout the story. They lived at a different time here, years later. In fact, in terms of the house itself, it sat quietly for 50 years until Taylor would acquire it. She then marks her entrance to the rest of these stories as she then will later touch on points of her life leading up to Holiday House.

 

Exile (Betty and James)-

 

Communication is key. However, Betty and James eventually resented the back-and-forth nature of their relationship. He believed that she would always forgive him as she had always set that precedent each time before in their relationship. Although they always knew they walked a very thin line, they always felt like the other person would become better to them if they loved hard enough. Each had their demons, though. Between James cheating nature and drinking problem, he could become withdrawn and combative. Betty loved James so much that she gave him second, third and hundredth chances and even excused his more aggressive behaviors in a Streetcar Named Desire type loyalty. Until the branch broke that they were balancing on.

 

For someone like James, being left as a result of bad behavior can often be skewed as a betrayal in and of itself. Her leaving could have only been a result of her not telling him how to be a better partner. On the flip side, Betty was not clear in her signals of being fed up with his actions, but allowing him back time and again. The blame game ensues and each call out each other’s faults too little, too late. They have, in fact, seen this “film” before. They kept the hope that the cinematic love they were both obsessed with would eventually play out if they wanted it enough, but did not put in the work or self-reflect enough to make it so.

 

My Tears Ricochet (Taylor/Rebecca)-

 

Of course, it’s about a certain sellout record executive of her previous label who did not even have the decency to let her own her masters. I will not be bringing his name into it because he does not deserve to even be thought about. However, I think Taylor does an expert job of exploring the anger stage of grief and death that Rebecca and Bill would have had to face in his untimely death as well. The allegory dips in and out of this song to further establish the mirror effect of these two women and their fears/perception. Taylor calls out her own inability to leave with grace. Rebecca was left to burn at the stake after Bill died with no one to defend her either. While it is not his choice to have died, grieving does bring about emotions of abandonment when still panning out. Much like Taylor felt when the label she trusted acted like they had never met and that she had not given them her all to gift them any kind of notoriety.

 

Gathering stones is beachside activity, but when, so is collecting jewelry. This in a metaphorical sense could allude to also gathering dirt and receipts when it all falls down. This line has quite an impact in the context of a business transaction and the marriage of a rich couple. Toward the end, each woman speaks as though they have gone to the cliffside and screamed into the open air. Rebecca challenges the masses to go for her heart in same way the public felt she had gone for Bill’s, but knows that she would be missed all the same. Each woman is directly calling out their naysayers and bullies telling them they know they’re drunk on pain and negating the good they had done before tragedy. These fake people have both built them up and torn them down in times it benefitted them the most.

 

Mirrorball (Betty)-

 

As I previously mentioned, Betty struggles with self-confidence (relatable content). This song takes a deeper dive into Betty’s desire to be noticed by James in the way she needs him to and to show him that she knows him better than anyone else does. When he does not pay attention, she breaks into a million pieces. Although her friends consistently tell her that the end is imminent, she has committed herself to changing the narrative. She’s walking the tightrope, another call out to the thin line they feel they have always walked in regards to one another.

The insecurity is palpable in the self-deprecating “I’ve never been a natural, all I do is try, try, try”.  Remembering from their teenage years, Augustine, a natural beauty, is able to draw men in with a sense of sensuality and a carefree demeanor. She doesn’t have to get too invested in relationships because she only chooses men that are in high risk, low reward circumstances. On the outside, it seems like she has all the confidence in the world and that is intimidating to someone like Betty who does not exude the same assuredness and has been burned by trusting unnecessarily before. In spite of this, Betty is still a believer in true love even if James has given her no indication there is reason to believe.

 

Seven (Taylor)-

 

Little Tay on her Pennsylvania farm just discovering her own voice and the meaning of friendship. Making her own tales of time gone by and recounting the origin story of a girl who makes “too much” noise any time she wants. Also, quite possibly the REAL queer-canon of the album. Taylor was close to someone who she has not seen for a while, a girl. She remembers the feeling more than anything and a certain protectiveness that she felt for this person who was having to hide in the closet. Labels did not matter and love was love in this scenario. She wants them to know their story and the care she felt for them is not forgotten and still a source of inspiration for her life in present day. Think “hope ur ok” by Olivia Rodrigo.

 

This song explores Taylor’s fierce feminism and activism into adulthood. The unwavering support she gives to the underdogs and why Rebecca’s story resonates with her so much. She was the wild child the world tried to tame with constant expectation. The subject of Seven that she befriended reminded her that there are beautiful things out there and grounded her in a way to keep looking for meaningful connections and to respect the stories of each person she meets to gain perspective.

 

August (Augustine)-

 

Somewhere on the beaches just outside this small Rhode Island town, Augustine was manifesting a relationship that she knew had a slim to none chance with James. Despite her hopes and efforts, August came and went. James dreamed of Betty with Augustine in his arms, but wanted is cake and to eat it too as a seventeen-year-old boy. The thrill of it all enticed him to give his summer to Augustine instead. Particularly because she was willing to pursue him in the way she did. However, much like the surface level pining found in The 1, she just wished she could write her name on his back in a performative ownership move as if to say finders keepers.

This superficial relationship was hallmarked in sex and lust by being spent tipsy and wrapped and in bedsheets. It wasn’t shameful or tawdry to two kids, but would show it’s truth one single time before becoming a feeling both would continue to chase. The shaky and electrifying experience of sharing firsts and secrets though “Never Have I Ever” and the charged nature of “Are you sure?” feeling like a pact. Until guilt set in for James, there was only excitement and both were forever changed. One by the hope of it all, and the other by the excitement.

 

This Is Me Trying (James)-

 

Years after the first thrill and eventual heartbreak, James has never found direction. He fell behind the classmates that moved on with their lives and ended up here. Still in their same hometown, he is a shell of a man grappling with depression and alcoholism. He’s in Betty’s doorway once again in her front porch light begging for forgiveness. He even matched Betty’s previous speech pattern in “Mirrorball” by saying “I just wanted you to know…” as if to respond to her finally because he sees her after it’s all been said and done. He pulled the rusted, vintage car that once made him so cool off the road to the same cliffside that they once made out in front of. This represents the edge that they all seem to stand at one point or another to contemplate their mistakes. He calls out his own substance abuse and aggression (which we talked about in Exile as well).

 

He wants to continue his same party lifestyle, but feels like an open wound because his bad behavior has finally caught up to him. All he thinks about are his own shortcomings, especially now that he is left alone with them. Betty once again gets compared to a film in a reel on the one screen they have in this small town. Now, only a memory instead of a reality. The defensiveness from being what he perceived as betrayal has subsided and he is left to face the cages he mentally put himself into and the fear that he was not as good of a man as he tried to project to others around him. Betty being the product of his transgressions since she is left broken and resentful toward him now.

 

Illicit Affairs (Augustine)-

 

Augustine finally pulls back the layers on why she continues to try to recapture the feeling that James gave her at a mere sixteen years old. Someone displaying all the confidence in the world may have had less than Betty in actuality. It was all a misconception. Instead, Augustine feels that her looks and sex are what she has to offer and by giving herself away, she hopes to capture lightning in a bottle one of these times. She recreates the same structure of what she had with James only to meet the same disappointment.

 

The beautiful setting of the beach house gives way to the parking lot behind the mall in a way. In some twisted way, James brokenness recognized Augustine’s and she had never been seen in real way before that and then not again after. James thought Betty’s level headedness would fix him and did not want to have to face himself via Augustine since they understood each other in the worst way. Like I said, that first taste left her living for the hope of it all and it was simply a dwindling mercurial high. A drug, though, that could work a hundred times over.

 

Invisible String (Taylor)-

 

Taylor’s stories are often on this album the only ones with direct references to actual places. This one references Centennial Park and Los Angeles. This is the story of Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn (William Bowery to some). This in and of itself is a modern day, currently in the making folktale. The idea of an invisible force bringing the two together to tell a great love story just like Taylor had always imagined. Here she self-references her own part in contributing to the media circus surrounding breakups and dating and owning her growth in those situations.

 

Allowing herself to live in the moment, she talks about the colors and touches of humanity this relationship has brought her. A deeper appreciation of the present and making memories that will one day make beautiful stories to tell for both themselves and for others that once tried to taint her narratives on hearsay. This is her story in her words and an expression of gratitude. Hell was the journey, but it brought her heaven.

 

Mad Woman (Taylor)-

 

This one is about the other one and his soon to be ex-wife. The one the masters were sold to. Shares a name with a two wheeled ankle destroyer and will also not be mentioned by me.  This is a slight reference to her Rebecca allegory in the sense that character assassination played a big part in that story, but not enough to say it’s a direct correlation. Although, it is interesting to note that they are hunting all of the witches even if you aren’t one.

 

Taylor gets raw about the cheating nature of the man in question whether it is in business or in relationships and how he should be called out for it. There’s a hardship in feminism, though. She watches as a woman who knows she is in the wrong defend the thief instead of the robbed. It explores the right to be mad when lied to or stolen from, particularly when you’re willing to go on record with false statements if they serve a certain narrative. Undeniably, this moment will go down in infamy for generations to come. In a word, folklore.

 

Epiphany (Taylor)-

 

Paying homage to her grandfather, Taylor sets a scene as a war rages on. Keeping your helmet to keep your life is a good direct correlation to mask mandates that swept the country as COVID-19 developed. The horrors of watching someone die for things that may have arguably been avoided sets the anguish apart in this song to any other she has done. This is the world in a life and death lens and nothing else. Trying to make sense of what she and the rest of us are seeing when it did not have to be this way.

 

The most hard hitting look at medical staff and the precarious position they stood in for both instances is found in the bridge. They watch to make sure someone is breathing. They stand in the face of danger and are contained to one place while a threat is posed but serve unselfishly and risk falling like the people around them in the hopes of reaching a breaking point or a point of clarity in the chaos. On a metaphorical level, this song establishes a very important piece of perspective for us to hold onto long after this virus is contained lest we forget.

 

Betty (James)-

 

The first injustice and a look into the dramatics of young love. We now at least get to know why James loves Betty so much and humanize him a little more for the things he’s been dealing with internally since a young age. He comes off a lot more charming here even if unsure. Possibly a reason why he leans on liquid courage later on, James is actually a bit shy in group interactions. This also causes him to avoid confrontation if it can be helped or talking about his feelings. He also has a tendency to fear loneliness as a result so he’s easily convinced to go along for the ride even if it isn’t the right decision.

 

However, here, he nervously plans for weeks to gather up the courage to ask for a second chance. From what we can gather, he was likely forgiven in this instance which made him more comfortable than before to do so again and again. The cycle started here with this grand gesture, but post-cheating, the damage was likely already done since he had gotten a taste of the thrill. Betty would serve as a constant, but she would not stand alone.

 

Peace (Taylor/Rebecca)-

 

Taylor knows she will likely always be speculated on, but she loves intensely even if no one else believes. Here, you can see her sympathy and understanding of someone like Rebecca who no one ever even considered that she may actually love her late husband. All she can ever hope for is that the person she dedicates herself to can recognize how invested she really is and can handle the storm that comes with that. She talks with her own pack of friends being wild and rowdy much like Rebecca, but hopes he never sees that as a sign of disrespect. It’s just who she is.

 

Everyone DID think the love was for show, but they knew nothing of what happened behind closed doors. Does a woman pace rocks staring out at the midnight sea who isn’t missing someone? I don’t think so. Painting dreamscapes on the wall referring to the home they share together. The very same place that tied Rebecca and Taylor’s stories together in the first place. I think Taylor learned to embrace the madness before the rest of Rebecca’s story became hers and stopped apologizing for being so loud but remembered to continue to let love in.

 

Hoax (Everyone)-

 

Every time I listen to this song, I hear a different character speaking to me. Then I realized each one was just taking turns. This one is a bit different so I’m going to break it down by character:

 

Betty- He had drawn stars around her scars, but the way he made her feel was just as bad as the pain they caused. She believed him each time he said never again. She let him back in time and again to be hurt in the same way, but nobody else would have done for her if he could just be the things he promised to be. She was bound to him even though he never came through.

 

James- He knows exactly what he’s done and that he cannot fix it now. He knows that she possesses a love for him that will never die, but that is unrealistic after a certain point. He resigns himself to having to miss her forever. The hero has effectively died, so the movie has lost a purpose in plot. He tried, but did not succeed.

 

Augustine- She had a plan for them. No matter the means in which to get it, she wanted him to love her the way he did Betty. She used slight of hand and a little convincing to lead him to her. It left her aching for more when she knew that would never come back. August slipped away and there was no winning. Winter came and the ground was frozen.

 

Rebecca- She stood out there screaming for a reason why she had to be left alone in the life that was supposed to be theirs. I don’t think she ever quite got past that feeling of abandonment and just needed anything to believe in. This beautiful mansion had become a kingdom come undone. Bill’s heart had given out like a broken drum.

 

Taylor- When you sign a record deal at such a young age and a man who has always taken care of you in that time suddenly becomes your biggest enemy, it can certainly feel like a total heartbreak. The hoax was making her believe that even if all was said and done he would at least have her back. He most certainly did not. She screams at the sun (now eclipsed) on the cliffside while he listens to her stolen lullabies. The part of herself that remains in New York being her life’s work.

 

Please let me know if you have anything to add! Any new perspectives I may have missed? I would love to further this conversation and find new ways to explore the Folklorian Wilderness!

 

-Ryan Freeman

[peachybeatles]

ultimate bottom!John master post ;)

Every fic listed is mclennon, includes sexual content and is on ao3. Do feel free to add onto the list if I’ve missed anything! 

Be My Baby - crybabycry

“Tell me, Johnny,” Paul murmured, teasing his almost-auburn hair between his fingers, “were you a good boy today?”

John’s breath quickened, blush spreading as he readjusted himself on Paul’s lap. “No, Paul, I was not a good boy today.”

These Nights - Unchained_Daisychain

Music journalist John Lennon is tasked with writing an article on newfound pop artist Paul McCartney. A night of fame, music, and passion soon surround John before he knows it. By the end of it all, he’s not so sure he can manage to give up this star and these nights.

Father’s Day - ImagineBeatles

John and Paul have a different way of celebrating Father’s day.

Understanding - ImagineBeatles

John wants to know what it’s like to be fucked roughly after he had seen how much Paul had enjoyed it, when he had done it to him. Paul is more than happy to do it.

The First Scene - DemonDean10

John is an omega and has kept this secret from all his friends for years. Until one day while on their first visit to the U.S. he discovers he forgot his heat suppressants. There is an Alpha that could come to his rescue, but what will happen after the two wake up and realize what they've done.

Higher Education - smothermeinrelish

Starting anew in Edinburgh Scotland, John is hired as a conservationist at the University where he will be working along side English Literature Professor Dr. Paul McCartney. John is instantly attracted to his new supervisor and mentor, but the feelings aren't mutual? Are they? Set in modern AU, the teacher/ student relationship could be more than just a temporary fling.

You Teaser, You Pleaser - Unchained_Daisychain

John and Paul finally find time to put their new handcuffs to use.

John shrugged, but the smirk on his lips belied his nonchalance. He glanced at the handcuffs Paul held between their bodies. “Seize the moment, Macca,” he said, low, tracing a single finger along the ridges of one open cuff. “Or any accessible poles throughout the day. They always leave that part out.”

Tease Me - nipsynips

His bandmates had always called him the ‘kinky’ one, but they had always assumed it was him doing the tying and the holding down and the commanding. True enough, that was often the case, especially with birds, but it wasn’t his preference. In fact, contrary to what most people thought, John relished the chance to relinquish control every once in a while.

Patience is a Virtue - Peachy_Beatles

John is trying his best to song write despite his overactive imagination. Luckily, Paul is willing to reward him for his efforts.

Summer Rose - chanderson

John and Paul rekindle their relationship late summer 1980. John's feeling lost, and Paul's missing him in more ways than one.

Cutting Strings - Peachy_Beatles

Early 1969: With John’s increasing emotional unavailability, Paul is left clinging on to whatever he can get from him- no matter how unfulfilling.

I Blame Tumblr - DemonDean10

I would just like to apologize to the world and myself for doing this. Based off this Tumblr post by @johnsdoublechin: @ the ppl who say John isnt a bottom at my last post well I got MY SOURCES. George, Ringo, Paul, Brian, Cynthia, and Yoko have all topped him thanks for listening And so...this was born. Basically John bottoms for everyone. Everyone tops him. I did this instead of my actual fics.

Ten Minutes - ImagineBeatles, ChutJeDors

Paul had thought that his friends only wanted the best for him, with giving him a gift card to a brothel and all. Now, having ended up in a room with a stunningly handsome male whore, he needs to reconsider those ideas about his friends, and his beliefs in life altogether. It’s just for ten minutes, though… Definitely a once in a lifetime thing, and all that. Totally! Right? Right??

What Feels Right/ This Loving Game - ImagineBeatles

Paul and Julia have been going out for a while and now they’ve decided to move in together. What Paul hadn’t expected when he’d agreed was that he’d fall in love with her troublesome teenage son, John

like a river flows, surely to the sea - toppermostofthepoppermost

John is smiling around his cigarette, head thrown back, eyes fixed on the cloudy sky, and it takes Paul all of his poor will to mutter, “You shouldn’t flirt with your teachers, you know?” “In my defense, Mr. McCartney,” John quips, shifting his gaze to Paul, “you make it very hard not to.” Or: Modern-day AU where Paul spends his days teaching everything Shakespeare, getting angry at modern electronic devices, raising a five-year-old girl who's 50% puppy eyes and 50% sassy comebacks and trying not to fall in love with John Lennon, his university student.

The Consequences of Getting What You Want - deux_lunes

Why John Lennon really beat Bob Wooler up at Paul’s birthday party.

Queer - deux_lunes

Paul gives John what he desires

Discipline - deux_lunes

John has been an utter brat and Paul decides that he is in desperate need of discipline.

Skype sex.  - mickeymouse (Sgtmacca0)

day 8. john skypes paul in the middle of the night.

In the Back Seat of My Car - ImagineBeatles

Modern AU. After having met at Stuart's birthday party, John and Paul get down and dirty in the back of John's car.

It won’t be long - orphan_account

After some interesting scents were being left around everywhere the Beatles went, even without any women around, it became obvious that someone in the band is an omega and never told anyone. But no one seems to care, or even notice, but Paul. The only other alpha in the band, with John of course. And he sniffs out (literally and figuratively) who it is alone in the hotel.

James - JP (jpgr1963)

Paul helps John cope with stress while on tour in 1964.

Magical Mystery Tour Love - DemonDean10

Paul gets drunk one night during MMT filming and confesses his love for John. John had been in love for yrs and is elated. but when Paul wakes up he remembers very little of the night before, will he tell John or try to make the relationship work, even with all the moral conflicts it brings up?

Day 30: Who’s Your Daddy, Johnny Boy? - ImagineBeatles

John's been a naughty boy who needs his Daddy to punish him and make him learn his lesson. Or at least, that's what Paul thinks. Not that John isn't more than happy to indulge his lover.

Day 22: Over The Desk - ImagineBeatles

1968. John keeps bothering Paul while he's busy doing management stuff, which is highly irritating for the younger Beatle, especially seeing as John makes it abundantly clear he isn't going to leave until he gets what he came for. In the end, John gets a little more than he bargained for.

Day 18: Lazy Morning Sex - ImagineBeatles

John and Paul spend the morning in bed together.

Day 6: Clothed Getting-Off - ImagineBeatles

John had seen Paul watching him, eyes hot and determined, so he was not at all surprised when he was dragged into an alleyway and pushed up against a brick wall to have his lips positively snogged off.

 I Want You - sockittoem

“In which John gets really horny after doing coke, and needs Paul to fuck it out of him.”

The Night Before - andthemoondogs

[ Anon McLennon prompt: "The Night Before" ] John and Paul have a night of drunken sex, after which, John panics and gives Paul the cold shoulder until Paul finally confronts him about it.

Day 7: Naked/Dressed - ImagineBeatles

1964. On the set of A Hard Day's Night, John and Paul cannot get one particular scene right in which Paul has to drag John away from a couple of girl as they try to find Paul's grandfather on the train, so they sneak off to practise the scene together. Soon, however, the boys have other things on their minds than rehearsing a scene.

Kiss Me - orphan_account

Mimi is gone for a trip, and when John and Paul meet at John's house for practice, things don't go quite as planned.

masturbation. - mickeymouse(Sgt macca0)

day 4. paul masturbates at the thought of john.

bottoms up. - ffomixam

“Can we get some mclennon with a possessive, dominant paul and compliant john? (technically doesn’t have to be smut)”

breathe desperation. - ffomixam

 McLennon smut, something along the lines of a first time, unexpected, adrenaline fueled, thoughtless, desperate handsy-ness and making out backstage after a show with John as the more submissive and needy one?

love me harder. - ffomixam 

Could you write a fic about Paul fucking John in public while in Hamburg, being really rough and dominant and teasing John that someone’s going to hear them and see John taking it up the arse, and John just devolves into a cummy fucked-out mess.

Of Hot Chocolate and Rainy Nights - paulmcfartney

yall already know what's goin on ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I feel like I’m the worst, so I act like im the best - KiwiPillow

John, a young ravishing man, who is absolutely uninterested in anything but himself really, gets pursued by his roommate to try a dating website! What could go wrong? Well, maybe your "match" could turn out to be a bastard stalker mobster boss with a serious daddy kink, who wants to work on your attitude. Shocked and upset. In the mob bosses defence, John is annoying as hell in this.

[talesofstyles]

Masterlist

Alright babies, I’ve decided to put all my writings in one place so it’ll be easier for you to find them. There aren’t a lot yet but you’ve got more things coming your way. Bonne lecture!

* denotes filth

One Shots

Happy Anniversary*

tags: husband!harry, dad!harry, lawyer!harry

In which you celebrate your anniversary in Harry’s office

***

“Don’t chuck me just yet,” he jokes, and you can feel the words said against your lips at the same time as you hear them.

You give him another quick kiss, giggling as you pull away. “Don’t worry,” you shake your head. “Not for another fifty years.”

“Make it seventy, will ya?” A sly smile playing at the corner of his lips.

“Sixty five,” you deadpan. “Give or take.”

He’s chuckling as he lets one of his palms slide up your leg, the other running down your back, stopping just above your arse. His grins widen when he doesn’t feel anything else beside your work dress covering them. “You’re not wearing anything under this?”

“Not a stitch,” you murmur.

***

Good Morning Indeed*

tags: husband!harry, dad!harry

In which Harry and his wife is trying to sneak in a little quickie in the midst of the family’s morning chaos. Followed by 50/50 bread tantrums, wrestling a biscuit-hunting kid who’s set on having Hobnobs for breakfast and two stroppy teething babies. Fun.

***

She grinds her hips. Also another well-rehearsed move that she knows will get me off. But I freeze again, because there’s a second set of footsteps and the sound of a toilet flushing. Oh, and the babies next door are starting to whimper.

Great.

“I’M HUNGRY!” That’s James, darling little cockblocker number four who likes to be fed on time. He’s three.

“WE’LL BE OUT IN A SECOND!” My wife shouts over my shoulder. “Harry for the love of god-”

I pick up the rhythm. Small beads of sweat form on my brow. She grinds her hips again, and I try to focus. “Just like that, fuck, keep doing that.”

“Sshh, keep your voice down.”

“IS THERE ANY BREAD THAT ISN’T 50/50?” That’s Eleanor, child number two. She’s seven, and she’s one of those children who seem to possess a discernible palate that knows when we’ve changed brands of baked beans or attempt to bring sugar-free fruit squash through the doors.

“IT’S THE SAME,” I reply.

“NO, IT’S NOT. DO WE HAVE OTHER FOOD?”

“THERE ARE SHREDDIES.”

“DON’T LIKE ‘EM.”

“PORRIDGE.”

“I’M NOT A BEAR!”

Honestly, seven-year-olds gunning for a fight this early in the morning can go do one.

***

Drs Styles*

tags: husband!harry, dad!harry, doctor!harry

***

“You haven’t called me Styles in years,“ I turn to her with a grin. “Not since medical school.”

I can’t help but flashback to those days when we had matching university hoodies and we’d test each other on the parts of a kidney whilst walking into lectures, sitting next to each other, sharing pens and cans of Lilt.

“Well, I became a Styles too,” she chuckles. “Would’ve been confusing then, wouldn’t it?”

“True,” I laugh under my breath, then I grab her hand and pull it to my mouth so I can kiss her knuckles. “Thank you.”

“What for?”

“For being a Styles.”

“Aw, aren’t we soppy tonight?” She smirks. “Alright, stop the car.”

“What?”

“There,” she points to a dark empty spot and I oblige.

Then, before I can even ask her why, she reaches over and grabs me by the collar. Pulling me close to kiss me. I kiss her back, and I smile when she bites gently on my bottom lip.

“Oi, oi. Something’s got you randy.”

***

Reconcile

tags: husband!harry, dad!harry 

In which nearly divorced Harry is trying to win his wife back. Oh and his bitter nine-year-old daughter.

***

“He makes her happy.”

“I’m her husband,” I can’t help but say bitterly. “I should be the one making her happy.”

“Look, I’m sorry mate,” he offers, I know he’s trying his best to keep his tone neutral. “Maybe you need to get back in the dating game too. It’ll distract you.”

“I don’t want to fucking date anyone else,” I growl.

“I know it’s hard to get back in the saddle,” he adds sympathetically.

“I don’t want to get out of my current saddle,” I grumble. “I want to keep my current saddle with my wife in it.”

Jamie blinks in surprise, hell I’m even surprised at what I’ve just said out loud because I’ve never admitted this since we split. When YN asked me to leave, I assumed right away that my marriage was over. I didn’t want it to, but I thought there was nothing I could do.

But now, seeing her laughing at another man’s joke and his hand holding hers, I just know that I can’t let her go without a fight.

“Have you told her this?” He asks curiously.

I shake my head again. “We haven’t got the chance to have a civil conversation these days.”

“Then I suggest you stop being such a bloody whinge bucket and have a civil conversation with your wife.”

My shoulders immediately sag in defeat. “I know. I need to sit down with her and tell her how I feel.”

“Which is?” He presses.

“That I want her back,” I mutter.

***

Reconcile II*

tags: husband!harry, dad!harry

***

There’s a strange feeling of déjà vu as I take a seat on the steps in front of the cottage.

I’m all packed up and ready to go. My weekender bag is in the boot of my car. Nothing left to do but say goodbye to my wife and kids, but I don’t go straight inside.

Not yet. I need a moment.

These steps witnessed a lot of our marriage even though we’d never stayed here for longer than a couple of weeks at a time. We loved to sit out here in the summer. I remember when I first brought my stuff here shortly after we got married, we sat out here with beers, sleeves rolled up, boxes stacked into Jenga-style columns.

I also remember sitting here last year on Christmas morning. Emma and I were both in our pyjamas and slippers, sipping coffees out of our matching Christmas mugs. We watched the kids ride their new scooters up and down the street. Everything was perfect. I had no idea that my marriage would end in just two months after that.

“Harry?”

I look over my shoulder and I urge her to sit beside me. She comes over and does just that. There is silence. We don’t say a word to each other. A quiet hum of traffic in the distance, puffs of breath cloud the air making me think we should both be wearing coats. Christmas is nearly here again. My heart aches at the thought of this being our first Christmas since everything fell apart.

“I’m sorry,” she says softly.

“I should be the one apologising, Em.”

“I know you wanted to work things out,” I hear the sadness in her voice. “I really loved you, you know that, right?”

“I do,” I nod. “Our marriage, all those years… it wasn’t all bad, though, right?”

“Of course,” she quickly replies. “We had our moments. We have Minnie and George.”

We pause, letting that sink in. In all this mess, those two were and remain everything, some symbol of our marriage not being a complete disaster.

“There were also times when you were a good husband,” she adds.

“Why do I feel like you’re going to pat me on the head?”

Emma laughs under her breath.

“Your new bloke seemed a nice sort,” I tell her, because it’s true. I may hate the guy with a burning passion, but that’s only because he’s dating my wife.

“He is.”

“That got legs?” I ask her.

“Possibly.”

“I want you to be happy, Ems,” I tell her. “With or without me.”

“Harry…”

“But I also want you to know that I’ll be waiting for you. No rush, no timeline. I’ll wait for as long as it takes. Because for me, it’s either you or no one else.”

***

Stitches and Pucks*

tags: hockey!harry, boyfriend!harry

In which LA King’s best player (on and off the ice) has had enough scoring puck bunnies and is now whipped by the new team doctor. 

***

“Let me drive you home,” I quickly say before she gets the chance to order a ride. Not sure why I did that because I certainly have never offered women a ride home without the promise of getting in their knickers, and I can assure you that I won’t be getting anywhere near hers tonight, but maybe I just don’t want this night to end yet.

We’ve been glued at the hip from the moment I bought her first drink, and three hours purely just talking with the same woman? That’s a record in my book. While I’m not ashamed to admit that I also like looking at her, honestly, to me that’s just an added bonus. I think it’s safe to say that I have never met anyone like her before. Granted, with most women usually there wasn’t much talking, but from what I learnt in just the span of three hours is that this doctor of mine is a hell of a lot of fun.

I swear she’s just a pure fucking joy to be around. Conversation with her is like a never-ending merry-go-round and she makes me laugh a lot. She’s bright and witty and she’s one of those people that knows no strangers. She can easily talk about anything from politics to sports even to crude jokes, and add on to that, she’s just so kind and inclusive that several times tonight I actually had to drag her away to one of the back tables so we could have a proper chat without the crowd around us.

“You don’t have to,” she gives me a hesitantly sweet smile.

“But I want to,” I gallantly insist as I turn and offer my arm to her. “Come on, I just want to make sure you get home safe.”

“Well, alright then,” she smirks, her hand easily slides into the crook of my elbow. “I could save a few bucks.”

I roll my eyes and tease her, “didn’t take you to be such a skinflint.”

“Hey!” She playfully slaps my arm with her other hand as she laughs and I’m glad I amuse her.

No, seriously... I like her laugh.

There’s no doubt that she wants me, just as there’s no doubt that I totally want her. We’ve got this really heavy flirting going on all night, and plenty of innuendo, but I won’t be surprised nor disappointed if she doesn’t invite me inside when we get to her home and nothing happens tonight.

We’ll get there, I’m sure.

Until then, I’m completely fine drinking beer, being her personal chauffeur, and getting to know her a little better.

***

Quid Pro Quo

tags: lawyer!harry, enemies to lovers

In which you can’t stand your colleague.

***

“I tell you what, this is ironclad,” you let out a heavy sigh as you throw the document on the coffee table in defeat. “Houdini wouldn’t even get out of this contract.”

“We need to adjourn,” Harry suggests, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. “Regroup tomorrow to get to the bottom of this with clear heads. I’ve got a trial at half nine but I’ll be done by noon.”

“I can’t rest before we figure this out,” you state stubbornly, pausing for a second to let out a yawn. “But you go home. I’ll let you know if I’ve got something.”

“No,” Harry shakes his head. “You have to rest. If you were to come up with something you would’ve by now.”

You feel a stab of indignation. “Are you saying that I’m not capable of getting to the bottom of this myself?”

***

The Law of Attraction*

tags: lawyer!harry

Sort of continuation of Quid Pro Quo. In which YN is using Harry to get over her ex, and well... he’s not complaining because she’s a damn good lay.

***

“Cat got your tongue?” He asks and she turns to look at him. He gives her a tiny smirk before his eyes get back on the road, but he reaches his hand out to her bare knee to give her a squeeze. “Still haven’t answered me, doll.”

“Sorry- what did you ask?”

“Why did you want me to go with you?” He asks again. “He wants to merge, right? That’s totally your thing. You don’t need me.”

“You helped me with his crisis a few months ago,” she reminds him. “Just thought we could do his business together again. He’ll be happy he’s getting two partners, the firm will be happy because they can charge double. It’s a win-win, really.”

“Bollocks that,” Harry laughs. “Worst bullshit I’ve ever heard.”

“That’s all, honest,” she feigns innocence.

“Honey, I didn’t go through law school for nothing, did I?” He replies without moving his head, keeping his eyes on the road. “You’re using me as a human condom, aren’t you?”

“What the hell does that even mean?” She drops her jaw in shock at the fact that he calls her out on the carpet just like that.

“You’re afraid you’ll catch feelings again if you’re left alone with him, so you bring me as a shield. Am I right?” He asks her with an accusatory eyebrow raise. “You know what, no need to answer that. Of course I’m right.”

“I told you, he’s just a client now,” she insists, trying to ignore her heart pounding in her chest as Harry’s hand inches its way up her thigh. It’s incredibly arousing, but she also finds it a little disturbing since they’re having a conversation about a man she’s head over heels for. She almost want him to stop but fuck if she’s going to ask him.

“Look, I don’t know exactly what’s going on here,” he says, and it’s really hard for her to concentrate on what he’s saying since he’s squeezing her thigh. His fingers pressing deep into her muscles and she can only wish they’re a few inches higher. “But if in any way you want to get him back, just say the word and I’ll back away, yeah?”

***

Did I Break It?*

tags: husband!harry, dad!harry

In which you and Harry share a glass of wine in the kitchen and enjoy scraps of leftovers from the kids while trying to figure out Year 3 maths homework. Followed by a giggly, quite realistic smut because some nights aren’t just meant to be, are they?

***

“Here, check your boy’s homework then,” you can’t help but grin as you slide his maths book across the counter.

“Easy peasy lemon squeezy,” he mutters jokingly as he catches the book, and his eyes widen as he looks at the questions. “Whoa, equivalent fractions. Year 3 kids do that now? What ‘appened to number lines?”

You let out a hearty laugh. “I know right?! I’m pretty sure I did this in Year 5.”

“Okay, we’ve got this,” he rolls up his sleeves, making you laugh even harder, before tucking a pencil behind one of his ears. “Six over twelve is blank over ninety six. Fuck, what’s ninety six divided by twelve?”

“Now’s the time to use yer brain innit, big head?” You tease him this time.

“Oi!” He complains, trying to sound annoyed but the smile plastered across his face is hard to miss. “Be nice t’me.”

***

In Sickness And In Health*

tags: husband!harry, dad!harry

After the birth of the twins, Harry and YN’s marriage suffers.

***

Sometimes, when the frustration takes over, Harry can’t help but wonder if he could just confront her. ‘What do you want, really? Do you want to get a divorce? Just say it.’ Because he’s tired of feeling helpless. He’s tired of feeling like he may have a little hope one second yet having it crushed the next. But when he sees her, he doesn’t have the heart to.

She’s YN, his wife. He loves her and he can’t lose her.

***

Mess Is Mine

tags: dad!harry

A three-part story about a single dad Harry and single mum YN.

***

“Well, she’s named after me mum so she’s definitely her favourite grandchild so far,” Harry grins. “She’s basically Anya’s second parent, my mum.”

“Oh, I thought her mother is Russian!” YN exclaims. “I love her name.”

Harry’s grin widens as he shakes his head. “Thank you. No, my mum’s name is Anne and I want to name my daughter after her, but having two Anne(s) would be confusing. So I opted for another version of Anne.”

“That’s a really gorgeous name. Your mum must be very happy,” YN says as she tucks her hands inside her pockets because it’s getting a bit chilly.

“Definitely made her my mum’s favourite grandchild for sure. Well, she’s currently her only grandchild so that may change sometime soon,” Harry says proudly, grinning even wider. “I’m gonna be an uncle in a few weeks.”

***

Mess Is Mine II

tags: dad!harry

***

His eyes widen in surprise when YN giggles. “Thought you’d never ask.”

“What?!” He looks at her, surprised. “So you knew? All this time?”

YN is clearly having fun with this. “Knew what?” She asks nonchalantly.

“You’re gonna make me say it, aren’t ya?” He says, his eyes twinkle in delight. “That I fancy ya?”

YN giggles again, folding her arms. “Well, you weren’t being very subtle but you weren’t straightforward either.”

“Tha’ a yes, then?” Harry grins, taking another slug of his wine.

YN smiles back at him. “That’s a hell yes.”

***

Mess Is Mine III*

tags: dad!harry, boyfriend!harry, husband!harry

***

YN is still in her bathrobe when he steps into the bedroom, smiling through the mirror at his reflection from the door. Her hair is done and she’s just putting the last bit of some make-up before she slips into her outfit for the night. Her black lace jumpsuit is ready on the bed, waiting for her.

Harry is still standing by the door, staring at her intensely. He folds his arms across his chest, not a word comes out of his mouth.

“You gonna stand there and gawk at me all night or are you coming in and help me get into my outfit?” YN smirks at him through the mirror.

***

On S’envoie en L’air?*

tags: husband!harry, dad!harry

In which a little mid-day quickie and cockwarming on the balcony are involved during their family holiday to Côte d’Azur. Plus Harry teaching his little boy to swim.

***

“On s’envoie en l’air?” Harry whispered, still standing between your legs as you sat on the edge of the tall bed. You let out a little chuckle. “Wha’?”

“Nothing. S’just your three year old speaks better French than you,” you teased him and he tickled your sides, earning a burst of giggles from you. “It’s true! I swear you only know three sentences; going to the cinema with your family and friends, how to make a coffee this delicious and sh-”

“Shall we ‘ave a shag?” He cut you off, finishing your sentence. A boyish grin plastered across his face as he continued. “Think we shall, hmm?”

***

Half A Heart 

tags: dad!harry, husband!harry

In which Harry’s new album is stressing him out and he lashes out at the kids and his wife.

***

Both you and Harry were stubborn and it seemed that your three years old got that gene. She sighed heavily and tugged on the hem of Harry’s shirt to get his attention. “But, dad-”

She stopped mid-sentence because Harry startled her. He huffed loudly in annoyance and turned to her. His face was stern and it might be the first time in her three years of life that the little girl was scared of her daddy. “Eleanor, what did I say?!” Harry questioned her, not even bothering to use a term of endearment which was strange for him.

***

Half A Heart II

tags: dad!harry, husband!harry

In which Harry tries to make amends with his wife and kids.

***

“Love, don’t say that.” He begged you to stop. He couldn’t hear more of that coming from you.

“No, don’t love me and I will say whatever the fuck I want to say.” It’s rare for you to curse so when you do, he knows that you’re really upset.

“You know it isn’t true.” He spoke lowly. “I didn’t mean anything I said.”

You seethed. “No, I don’t know. I hope it isn’t but I can’t shake the thought that it might be true. The way you said it, it was just very conv-”

Harry cut you off. “It isn’t true. Please don’t let that idea get into your head. I was a complete twat, I didn’t even know what I said. M’sorry.”

***

A Bit Of Singin’

tags: dad!harry

In which Harry’s little girl being extra clingy before her daddy’s show and ends up running to the stage.

***

Suddenly you wanted to sneeze so you let go of Charlotte’s hand to cover your mouth and nose. And what a big mistake that was. Charlotte immediately ran to the stage. You and George tried to catch her but that kid was fast. One of the crews who was standing near the stage managed to catch her but she screamed from the top of her lungs, “NOOO! I WANT TO GO TO M’DADDY!”

The song just ended so the arena was silence for a second, only Charlotte’s screaming was audible. Harry turned to look at her, shaking his head as he laughed. “Alright, alright, c’mere.”

The crew let go of her and she ran up to him immediately. Harry knelt down and opened his arms, pulling his baby girl into his chest before standing up and went back to the middle of the stage. “Y’just can’t wait can yeh?”

***

The Kitchen’s Closed

tags: dad!harry, husband!harry

A little Father’s Day special in which YN gives Harry a vasectomy appointment for his Father’s Day present.

***

“Do we really have to go?” Harry paced around your bedroom anxiously as he waited for you to get ready. The babysitters—yes you always hire two at the same—would arrive soon.

“Yes we do,” you tried to stifle your snigger. “It’s a really simple surgery, Harry, won’t take longer than 20 minutes.”

“Think m’balls know what’s going on and have gone into hiding,” Harry mumbled nervously. “They seem to have retracted into my body.”

“Your balls are fine, H. I’m sure they’re still there,” you snorted in laughter, shaking your head.

***

Baby Steps

tags: dad!harry, husband!harry

Harry and YN takes baby lad to the park to teach him to walk.

***

“Jeez, you’re such a mum.” He teased.

You rolled your eyes. “Well yeah you knocked me up.”

“Aye, that I did.” He cackled.

After you fed baby lad his snacks, Harry taught him to walk by holding his hands above his head, letting your baby set the pace and direction. The sight in front of you was really heartwarming.

“Where’s mummy? Should we walk to mummy?” He looked down to your baby and your baby flashed a grin, making the two bottom teeth and the newly popped two upper teeth that were responsible for your lack of sleep two weeks prior fully visible.

***

Mates*

tags: bestfriend!harry

Can Harry help his best friend to forget her ex?

***

“Morning mate,” greeted the man before he took a sip of his coffee.

Harry mumbled in response before it was cut with a yawn. “Mor- whoa,” he raised his palm to make a stop sign, and continued after he finished yawning. “You don’t live here.”

“Uh,” awkward silence filled the kitchen. “I don’t.”

“What are you doing here?” He knew it was a stupid question, but that somehow didn’t stop him from asking.

“Er, uh,” the guy looked down at his mug for a second before he answered. “Visiting.”

“Visiting what? My roommate’s uterus?”

Blurbs (or concepts or drabbles... you name it)

Instagram Prompts

Text From Last Night

[letterboxd]

Touching the Void.

Searching for cinema that soothes? Ella Kemp suggests it could be as simple as looking for a film poster with a white background.

How many weeks has it been? When did any of us last go blindly into a cinema and take a chance on something new? Film-watching in the time of Covid-19 has changed. The immediate and never-ending news of the world is frightening. Is it still, and more than ever, okay for me to sink into movies to alleviate my mood, just for a bit? How is that even possible when the world has come to a standstill?

We are forced to adapt, and it has taken some time for my attention span and emotional capacity to adjust. But I think I might have found a solution, and I have the meticulous list-makers of Letterboxd to thank. It was Izzy’s list of comfort movies that first lit the fuse. Specifically, the second, third and fourth row; films including Billy Elliot, Clueless, School of Rock.

Fifteen stark posters, speaking one truth: We are vulnerable and nervous. What we need is a film poster with a white background to assure us the movie exists entirely to serve and soothe us.

Part of Izzy’s ‘comfort movies’ list.

List-making on Letterboxd has never been more prolific. Pandemic movies, overdue filmography catch-ups, comfort movies galore. Everyone categorizes and logs their watches differently, but Izzy’s pattern speaks to me with an epiphanic answer. I’ve always admired successful color-coding, but now I see its crucial function.

As I scroll for distraction, for something guaranteed to be good (because I cannot and will not be subject to any uncertainty I can avoid), I see the rainbow. The pale blues of Studio Ghibli, Wong Kar-wai’s passionate reds, the pastels of Netflix Original breezy romances. Like some kind of cinematic ikebana, countless Letterboxd members have mastered the art of arranging film posters. There are standouts: the staggering oeuvre that is Gordon’s chromatic roundup of favorite posters; the comprehensive color-graded history of women directors via their best posters, courtesy of Vanessa; and the penchant for beige in the year 2015, as spotted by Letterboxd co-founder Matthew Buchanan.

A selection of Gordon’s favorite movie posters.

But when I see these 300 examples, color-coded by typography and accents by Sera Ash, I recognize that white movie posters are the ones most likely, in this very strange time, to take care of me. I see it in three distinct filmmaking periods: Disney animations from the 1940s and 50s, the video marketing for cult comedies of the 1980s and 90s, and the alternative marketing materials of my favorite films of the 2010s. Each poster is straightforward and inoffensive. It captures the story, but never dares to impress or intimidate beyond basic description.

A 1975 re-release poster for ‘Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs’ (1937).

In 1937, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs announced the birth of Walt Disney’s feature-length empire. While its original theatrical poster is also mostly white, it is represented on Letterboxd by a 1975 re-release poster depicting a peek through the keyhole: a curved triangle framing Snow White, the dwarves, and the two sides of the jealous queen, against a vivid green forest. In the bottom corner, a castle. To the left, the title—her name in red cursive, theirs in black. These simple images come together to present an elementary summary of the ingredients within. The white frame showcases the seminal animation craft without suggesting the viewer diverts their eye anywhere else.

This technique was common across other animated titles, collected in lists like dantebk’s Disney animated classics. Pinocchio toys with the hyperreal relationships between characters alive and wooden, human and animal—but does so on a plain canvas, so that the magic remains within reach. Dumbo, Bambi, Cinderella, Peter Pan—each follows suit. Whether with the mustard yellow of a circus tent, the faint sketches of grass tufts, the gold dust of an enchanted fairy godmother or the ink blue of a midnight starry sky, these colors (indicative of each defining scene-setter or mood-maker) only pepper a blank background, and so make their significance ever greater with the most sporadic touches.

A selection from dantebk’s list of Disney animated classics.

Live-action knockouts from these decades—films like The Shop Around The Corner and The Red Shoes—embrace painted recreations of their protagonists (Margaret Sullivan and James Stewart as festive lovers in the former, Moira Shearer as a tortured ballerina in the latter) and use the color red as a signifier of romance, against a plain white page, to set the mood. Slashes and splashes of red have been used to create a vibe in genre cinema for many decades—a trend deftly chronicled in this list by Rocks.

As far as we know, the underpinnings of digital photography began in the 1950s, and the first published color digital photograph dates back to 1972, when Michael Francis Tompsett shot a photo of his wife Margaret for the cover of Electronics magazine. Consumers got their hands on the gear in the late 1990s, but movie studios really started to make the most of sharp digital photography and stark white backgrounds for their striking posters from the late 1980s onwards. Because, never mind the multiplex, the video store is where you wanted your comfort fare to stand out in the 1980s and 90s.

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986) and Say Anything… (1989) form a handsome, trend-setting 1980s pair. While the theatrical poster for Cameron Crowe’s Say Anything… deigned to include John Cusack’s co-star, Ione Skye, by the time of the film’s video release, the focus is clearly on pre-High Fidelity Cusack, as proud underachiever Lloyd Dobler, smouldering lopsidedly under the weight of a boombox. It’s the singular image of the film to this day.

Meanwhile, Matthew Broderick as Ferris-slacking-Bueller is making the most of his title activity, arms behind his head, a proud smirk on his face. Nothing else matters except that these charismatic young stars are stepping up to leading-man status. The white background accentuates the star power of these new boys in town, embracing the limelight in one fell swoop.

Star power is everything: beautiful people doing simple things against empty backdrops, because what could be more important than the regularity of symmetrical bone structure, of familiar charm? The trend boomed in the 1990s and 2000s, in films widely embraced by casual moviegoers. The sort who list “watching Netflix” as a Sunday activity on dating profiles and use the Christmas holidays to rewatch comedies they have memorized over dozens of half-attentive viewings (absolutely zero judgement here!).

The vast majority of these films have white posters. Who is your soothing cup of charm: Tom Hanks on a bench, nothing more nothing less, from 1994’s Forrest Gump? Or Heath Ledger, effortlessly cool, leaning on the brown corduroy armchair Julia Stiles sits in for the 10 Things I Hate About You poster from 1999? (The 90s harnessed the increased appeal of having two lookers just sitting and posing against a plain background, as demonstrated in this chilling list by Ashley.)

Ashley’s list of couples posing in front of a white background.

Will Ferrell had been earning his stripes as an actor for years, but he changed the movie comedy game as Buddy the Elf in 2003. There’s plenty of visual humour in Elf, but Ferrell’s coat-stand posture bedecked in festive green velvet and those tights is… enough. A white background lets the ridicule slide, just.

How many Disney series really deserve a whole movie—and one that stands the test of time? Lizzie McGuire, resting on her tiptoes with a swinging suitcase in hand, sells The Lizzie McGuire Movie like no idyllic views of Rome ever could. It’s reaching out to an audience loyal to the character, one who will follow her to the ends of the Earth, or at least to another continent. Hilary Duff could be doing almost anything on this poster and it would achieve the same effect—so long as the white background remains plain enough to keep eagle-eyed fans on the main event at all times.

It’s surprising that the star-making system only let Meryl Streep appear in a tiny box, one of four character tiles, on the poster for The Devil Wears Prada in 2006. But the design here taps into 1940s animated sensibilities, giving prominence to a devilish red Macguffin larger than the humans. It still achieves the same function—a glossy, glamorous design with the accessible sell of a quotable, star-fuelled comedy.

Red may be the color of romance and the devil; it’s also the color of comedy. Exhibit A: the 2007 gross-out comedy Superbad, whose star power—marking the emergence of Jonah Hill and Michael Cera—is used to an opposite and impressive effect on its poster. The awkwardness of these teen boys—lanky, unkempt, insecure—is what cinches the comedy. The simplicity of the poster design, with their uncomfortable posture against, well, nothing at all, further anchors their incapability of facing the world in any confident way, shape or form.

There are countless more examples, like Marley & Me, Bridesmaids, 27 Dresses (notice how the red type is replaced by pink when the film’s plot veers toward the altar). But to understand the curious and timeless appeal of the white movie poster, what happened to it in the 2010s cements its adaptable strength.

As the art of graphic design has continued to bloom, the aesthetic argument for the colorless color-block movie poster has shifted to embrace a film’s context. Consider Danny Boyle’s Steve Jobs, the enjoyable 2015 drama that provided Michael Fassbender one of the most under-celebrated roles of his career, playing the late Apple co-founder. The poster turns the canvas into a blank screen: the title is typed, the text insertion point poised, waiting for the next key press. As Jobs, Fassbender occupies the bottom right corner, in profile, thinking.

This starkness makes sense: what’s next, Steve? It offers a rare example of a poster from the past decade that fully leans into the monochrome aesthetic entirely on purpose—to serve the restrained and unequivocal need for white. (And it’s interesting to compare with the marketing narrative for an earlier film about another tech leader: observe how Jesse Eisenberg’s Mark Zuckerberg eyeballs us from The Social Network’s dark-mode poster.)

Comfort movies don’t own the white poster, of course. Jordan Peele’s Get Out toys, both in its marketing and its delivery, with the binaries of black and white. It’s deployed on-screen with sophisticated horror, and this extends to its two most graphic poster variants.

While one poster sees Daniel Kaluuya’s character, Chris, sat on a chair split vertically between black and white, the all-white poster allows only a center-frame letterbox to reveal Chris’s enormous eyes, accompanied by an all-caps type treatment. The vast expanse of white only makes the image more menacing, framing the claustrophobia so effectively. The landscape crop is a device that defines stern dramas as much as arthouse comedies, as documented by Haji Abdul Karim in their expansive list.

Haji Abdul Karim’s list of white-with-landscape-image posters.

But back in the ‘comfort’ realm, we’re seeing more and more that the marketing wants to have it both ways—the negative with the positive; the art house audience and the multiplex crowd. As genres blend, demographics collapse and audiences become more fluid, a film’s advertising needs to speak more languages.

Two ultra-comfort films from last year demonstrate this idea well. The poster for Judy sees a backlit Renée Zellweger finding her light, receiving her applause. Black is the key color, right down to the classic little black dress; the eye is drawn to the title, spelled out in red sequins. It’s showbiz, it’s drama. Though the film itself fudges a few of the more uncomfortable facts of the star’s story, it’s still honest about her addictions.

In the white-background version, which was more widely distributed, Zellweger, in a floral dress, turns away from the light. The name still sparkles, but in softened gold. There’s no less glamor, the stakes in the film are just as high, but she’s perhaps more accessible like this. The focus, as it was in the 90s, 80s, 40s, returns to the main event.

Greta Gerwig’s Little Women, too, played with dark and light. The indie queen released her previous film, Lady Bird, via design-conscious distributor A24, and Gerwig’s singular aesthetics promised that her Little Women remake would be worlds away from all the others. But when the first images for the film were released, the marketing campaign was questioned by die-hard Gerwig fans.

Both of the group posters are curiously stripped back, freezing Louisa May Alcott’s beloved March sisters in a moment. In the darker image, they gaze out a window, secure in their festive domestic bubble, but set on what’s beyond. There’s more to life, and the film, than this room. It feels more lush, painterly, certainly more dramatic.

Whereas the white poster, at first, seemed like a mistake. It took one of the first images teased from the film and just... dropped it onto a poster. The March sisters look as if solidified by clay, entirely undynamic and at odds with the fluidity and warm soul Gerwig had made herself known for in her filmmaking.

And yet, nothing matters more than these characters. Beth, Jo, Meg and Amy are holding each other, happy, each in their own favourite color, and there is nothing more to fight over. The white-poster alternative lets the 2010s viewer stay attached to the most important part of the film.

The lessons here? A white poster is a vital sign that you’re safe here. You’ve made the correct choice. Attention spans are dwindling, options are expanding, focus is difficult. The promise of a white frame tells me what matters, what is good, where I should place my time and my value. For now.

[renee-writer]

Hitman Chapter 14 Church, Jamie, and Ghost

A/N This will be the last chapter until 2020 as @ladymeraud is on holiday. Also TW contains a graphic description of a child's death.

After breakfast and a few minutes playing with wee Jamie, he gathers his laptop and heads to see Father Bane at church. He needs to show the good father his side business, all he had done. He most find a type of absolution, to change, to find Jamie and lose ghost, he must. For himself, for Claire, and for his family. Wee Jamie carries his name. He must see it is a good one.

He arrives and before they start their therapy session, Father Bane leads mass. His homily is on forgiveness. He keeps his eyes mainly on Jamie as the early morning mass draws a sparse crowd. Jamie doesn’t take communion knowing he was no where near ready but the service, his first in many years, steadied him some.

They sit down after mass with tea. ‘’So Jamie, show me your work.’’ Jamie opens his laptop, booting up his dark web page for the first time in a month. He shows the good father all. From his first kill of a man convicted of rape of a child, inexplicably free on bail while awaiting sentencing. Right up to the Randall’s.

‘’You were the one who killed the famous human trafficker in America?’’ Father Bane confirms while crossing himself. He hadn’t stopped doing that since Jamie started talking.

‘’Aye I did,’’ there is no pride in his voice but no shame either. ‘’Most of the money made from that job, including what I received from pawning the gun, went to the Southern Poverty Law Center.’’ It is one of the hundred jobs he had done in the last five years. All men, except Mrs. Randall. All evil in their own way.

‘’You give a portion of your earnings to charity?’’ It is a glimmer of hope for his healing and Father Bane clings to it.

‘’Aye. I dinna need the money. Most goes to charity or the victims. I only keep what is needed to do the job, to pay for the website, travel expenses. I can’t always carry my own gun or other tools so they sometimes have to be purchased on site. Easy enough in the States, hardest in Japan but I've a man there.’’ No emotions. Just the facts. Like he is reading out of a encyclopedia. Father Bane can see the change in Jamie, as Ghost enters the office. The personality that allows Jamie to do what he had been doing.

‘’Jamie, who are you right now?’’ Jamie meets his eyes, his eyes darkened to a deep indigo. Ghost was fully in the room.

‘’Father, I am not sure. My work with the website had to be free of emotion. Robotic almost. Those people were evil. Taken them out was a service to humanity. Child molesters, human traffickers, men who hurt women and children. No one was stopping them.’’ His hands fist and his breathing changes as his eyes darkened farther. The little baby he had baptized, the lad who served as an alter boy, was gone

.

‘’So you felt called to?’’ he gently asks.

‘’Aye, that is my job. To take them out. I am selective. I get emails from men asking me to take out their wives. I dinna do that.’’

‘’Except for Mrs. Randall?’’

‘’Aye, but she was funneling drug money through charities set up to help children. Denying them food, clothing, toys. Nae, she had to go.’’

‘’Also just maybe because she was associated with Claire. Would you hurt her?’’ he asks meeting his eyes straight on.

Jamie's eyes changed from the dark troubled water of the loach’s in winter to the soft blue of a spring sky. A tear ran down his eye. ‘’Nae I would never harm her.’’

‘’What do you think will happen when you tell her what really happened to her husband and his family?’’

‘’I dinna ken, I hope and pray she will forgive me.’’

‘’Jamie, you told me about this woman, Sandy, who is trying to hurt Claire. How are you handling that?’’

‘’I wish to handle it the right way, through the barrister. To see it taken care of it without hurting Claire.’’ Ghost answers. The thought of harm coming to Claire brought him back out.

Father Bane saw and understood the changes. He had experienced them himself. ‘’James, talk to me about the war. Tell me what happened to make you keep Ghost.’’

He tells him all about the war and the death of Saleem that had changed him forever.

‘’He was firing at my men. It was my job and responsibility to stop him. There was no time to mask my gun or the shot. He must have saw the glint off my gun. I didn’t see the child until his father lifted him up in front of him. You canna call back a bullet. Oh I've tried in ever nightmare since. I watched it enter the lads heart 50 f'ing caliber. Christ, it destroyed the lad. Killed his bloody father too. Not that that was much consolation. I can still see the shocked look on his face. Still hear the mourning wails of his mam.’’ He is freely crying after he is done. Father Bane takes his hands and lets him. The tears are good, healing.

By the end of two hours, Jamie is tired, hollowed out. Father Bane knows it is enough for today.

‘’Jamie, I would like to see you again in two days. We have a lot of work to do.’’ He prays with him, hugs him, and sends him back to his family to rest.

He calls Claire, getting her voice mail as she is at work. He tells her he loves and misses her before joining his wee nephew for a nap. It is going to be a long two months.

[roman-catholic-mass-readings]

24th October >> Mass Readings (Except USA)     Saturday, Twenty Ninth Week in Ordinary Time 

    or 

Saint Antony Mary Claret, Bishop 

    or 

Saturday memorial of the Blessed Virgin Mary.

Saturday, Twenty Ninth Week in Ordinary Time

  (Liturgical Colour: Green)

       First Reading

Ephesians 4:7-16

By grace, we shall not be children any longer

Each one of us has been given his own share of grace, given as Christ allotted it. It was said that he would:

When he ascended to the height, he captured prisoners,

he gave gifts to men.

When it says, ‘he ascended’, what can it mean if not that he descended right down to the lower regions of the earth? The one who rose higher than all the heavens to fill all things is none other than the one who descended. And to some, his gift was that they should be apostles; to some, prophets; to some, evangelists; to some, pastors and teachers; so that the saints together make a unity in the work of service, building up the body of Christ. In this way we are all to come to unity in our faith and in our knowledge of the Son of God, until we become the perfect Man, fully mature with the fullness of Christ himself.

Then we shall not be children any longer, or tossed one way and another and carried along by every wind of doctrine, at the mercy of all the tricks men play and their cleverness in practising deceit. If we live by the truth and in love, we shall grow in all ways into Christ, who is the head by whom the whole body is fitted and joined together, every joint adding its own strength, for each separate part to work according to its function. So the body grows until it has built itself up, in love.

The Word of the Lord

R/ Thanks be to God.

    Responsorial Psalm

Psalm 121(122):1-5

 R/ I rejoiced when I heard them say: ‘Let us go to God’s house.’

I rejoiced when I heard them say:

 ‘Let us go to God’s house.’

And now our feet are standing

 within your gates, O Jerusalem.

R/ I rejoiced when I heard them say: ‘Let us go to God’s house.’

Jerusalem is built as a city

 strongly compact.

It is there that the tribes go up,

 the tribes of the Lord.

R/ I rejoiced when I heard them say: ‘Let us go to God’s house.’

For Israel’s law it is,

 there to praise the Lord’s name.

There were set the thrones of judgement

 of the house of David.

R/ I rejoiced when I heard them say: ‘Let us go to God’s house.’

    Gospel Acclamation

Psalm 144:13

Alleluia, alleluia!

The Lord is faithful in all his words

and loving in all his deeds.

Alleluia!

  Or:

Ezekiel 33:11

Alleluia, alleluia!

I take pleasure, not in the death of a wicked man,

says the Lord,

but in the turning back of a wicked man

who changes his ways to win life.

Alleluia!

    Gospel

Luke 13:1-9

'Leave the fig tree one more year'

Some people arrived and told Jesus about the Galileans whose blood Pilate had mingled with that of their sacrifices. At this he said to them, ‘Do you suppose these Galileans who suffered like that were greater sinners than any other Galileans? They were not, I tell you. No; but unless you repent you will all perish as they did. Or those eighteen on whom the tower at Siloam fell and killed them? Do you suppose that they were more guilty than all the other people living in Jerusalem? They were not, I tell you. No; but unless you repent you will all perish as they did.’

He told this parable: ‘A man had a fig tree planted in his vineyard, and he came looking for fruit on it but found none. He said to the man who looked after the vineyard, “Look here, for three years now I have been coming to look for fruit on this fig tree and finding none. Cut it down: why should it be taking up the ground?” “Sir,” the man replied “leave it one more year and give me time to dig round it and manure it: it may bear fruit next year; if not, then you can cut it down.”’

The Gospel of the Lord

R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.

—————————

     Saint Antony Mary Claret, Bishop 

  (Liturgical Colour: White)

     (Readings for the memorial)

(There is a choice today between the readings for the ferial day (Saturday) and those for the memorial. The ferial readings are recommended unless pastoral reasons suggest otherwise)

    First Reading

Isaiah 52:7-10

Rejoice, for the Lord is consoling his people

How beautiful on the mountains,

are the feet of one who brings good news,

who heralds peace, brings happiness,

proclaims salvation,

and tells Zion,

‘Your God is king!’

Listen! Your watchmen raise their voices,

they shout for joy together,

for they see the Lord face to face,

as he returns to Zion.

Break into shouts of joy together,

you ruins of Jerusalem;

for the Lord is consoling his people,

redeeming Jerusalem.

The Lord bares his holy arm

in the sight of all the nations,

and all the ends of the earth shall see

the salvation of our God.

The Word of the Lord

R/ Thanks be to God.

   Responsorial Psalm

Psalm 95(96):1-3,7-8,10

 R/ Proclaim the wonders of the Lord among all the peoples.

O sing a new song to the Lord,

 sing to the Lord all the earth.

 O sing to the Lord, bless his name.

R/ Proclaim the wonders of the Lord among all the peoples.

Proclaim his help day by day,

 tell among the nations his glory

 and his wonders among all the peoples.

R/ Proclaim the wonders of the Lord among all the peoples.

Give the Lord, you families of peoples,

 give the Lord glory and power;

 give the Lord the glory of his name.

R/ Proclaim the wonders of the Lord among all the peoples.

Proclaim to the nations: ‘God is king.’

 The world he made firm in its place;

 he will judge the peoples in fairness.

R/ Proclaim the wonders of the Lord among all the peoples.

    Gospel Acclamation

Mark 1:17

Alleluia, alleluia!

Follow me, says the Lord,

and I will make you into fishers of men.

Alleluia!

    Gospel

Mark 1:14-20

I will make you into fishers of men

After John had been arrested, Jesus went into Galilee. There he proclaimed the Good News from God. ‘The time has come’ he said ‘and the kingdom of God is close at hand. Repent, and believe the Good News.’

As he was walking along by the Sea of Galilee he saw Simon and his brother Andrew casting a net in the lake – for they were fishermen. And Jesus said to them, ‘Follow me and I will make you into fishers of men.’ And at once they left their nets and followed him.

Going on a little further, he saw James son of Zebedee and his brother John; they too were in their boat, mending their nets. He called them at once and, leaving their father Zebedee in the boat with the men he employed, they went after him.

The Gospel of the Lord

R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.

————————

       Saturday memorial of the Blessed Virgin Mary 

  (Liturgical Colour: White)

     (Readings for the memorial)

(There is a choice today between the readings for the ferial day (Saturday) and those for the memorial. The ferial readings are recommended unless pastoral reasons suggest otherwise)

       First Reading

Genesis 3:9-15,20

The mother of all those who live

After Adam had eaten of the tree the Lord God called to him. ‘Where are you?’ he asked. ‘I heard the sound of you in the garden;’ he replied ‘I was afraid because I was naked, so I hid.’ ‘Who told you that you were naked?’ he asked ‘Have you been eating of the tree I forbade you to eat?’ The man replied, ‘It was the woman you put with me; she gave me the fruit, and I ate it.’ Then the Lord God asked the woman, ‘What is this you have done?’ The woman replied, ‘The serpent tempted me and I ate.’

Then the Lord God said to the serpent, ‘Because you have done this,

‘Be accursed beyond all cattle,

all wild beasts.

You shall crawl on your belly and eat dust

every day of your life.

I will make you enemies of each other:

you and the woman,

your offspring and her offspring.

It will crush your head

and you will strike its heel.’

The man named his wife ‘Eve’ because she was the mother of all those who live.

The Word of the Lord

R/ Thanks be to God.

      Responsorial Psalm

1 Samuel 2:1,4-8

 R/ My heart exults in the Lord my Saviour.

My heart exults in the Lord.

 I find my strength in my God;

my mouth laughs at my enemies

 as I rejoice in your saving help.

R/ My heart exults in the Lord my Saviour.

The bows of the mighty are broken,

 but the weak are clothed with strength.

Those with plenty must labour for bread,

 but the hungry need work no more.

The childless wife has children now

 but the fruitful wife bears no more.

R/ My heart exults in the Lord my Saviour.

It is the Lord who gives life and death,

 he brings men to the grave and back;

it is the Lord who gives poverty and riches.

 He brings men low and raises them on high.

R/ My heart exults in the Lord my Saviour.

He lifts up the lowly from the dust,

 from the dungheap he raises the poor

to set him in the company of princes

 to give him a glorious throne.

For the pillars of the earth are the Lord’s,

 on them he has set the world.

R/ My heart exults in the Lord my Saviour.

    Gospel Acclamation

cf. Luke 1:28

Alleluia, alleluia!

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee!

Blessed art thou among women.

Alleluia!

  Or:

cf. Luke 1:45

Alleluia, alleluia!

Blessed is the Virgin Mary, who believed

that the promise made her by the Lord would be fulfilled.

Alleluia!

  Or:

cf. Luke 2:19

Alleluia, alleluia!

Blessed is the Virgin Mary,

who treasured the word of God

and pondered it in her heart.

Alleluia!

  Or:

Luke 11:28

Alleluia, alleluia!

Happy are those 

who hear the word of God

and keep it.

Alleluia!

  Or:

Alleluia, alleluia!

Blessed are you, holy Virgin Mary,

and most worthy of all praise,

for the sun of justice, Christ our God,

was born of you.

Alleluia!

  Or:

Alleluia, alleluia!

Happy is the Virgin Mary,

who, without dying,

won the palm of martyrdom

beneath the cross of the Lord.

Alleluia!

       Gospel

Matthew 12:46-50

My mother and my brothers are anyone who does the will of my Father in heaven

Jesus was speaking to the crowds when his mother and his brothers appeared; they were standing outside and were anxious to have a word with him. But to the man who told him this Jesus replied, ‘Who is my mother? Who are my brothers?’ And stretching out his hand towards his disciples he said, ‘Here are my mother and my brothers. Anyone who does the will of my Father in heaven, he is my brother and sister and mother.’

The Gospel of the Lord

R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.

[tcm]

Tall, Dark, Handsome...and Very Talented By Theresa Brown

The very first time I saw an Oscar telecast was in 1964. I remember, because I watched Sidney Poitier accept his Academy Award for Best Performance by an Actor for LILIES OF THE FIELD (‘63). Here is his win. Our family saw that movie when it came out and that was the first time I saw Poitier. Oh, I’m pretty sure I saw his movies on that 15-inch black-and-white tv set my sister and I shared. But to actually go to the movie theater and see him up there on the silver screen was quite a different thing indeed. He was tall, dark and handsome. He was articulate, moved gracefully. Did I mention handsome? He was the whole enchilada...a dreamboat. What thoughts for a 12-year-old.

How can I explain to you what it was like to be a little kid seeing someone who looks like you...up there...bigger than life...in Hollywood no less! A MOVIE STAR!! It was amazing to see a Black man / Caribbean / Person of Color having adventures; hell, having a bonafide STORY to tell and not just carry trays, be a porter or not know which end was up to use a telephone. Do you have to be Black / African-American / Caribbean / a Person of Color (take your pick) to appreciate Sidney Poitier? Naaaaah. You just have to like movies...and the tall, dashing guy who played the hero.

For this 21-film salute to actor Sidney Poitier, TCM has pretty much covered the depth and breadth of his career. Of the films they’re airing this September, I’ve seen five of them in the theatre at the time of their original release. (I’m that old!) I have distinct movie-going memories of LILIES OF THE FIELD, TO SIR, WITH LOVE (’67)—which always made me feel it was giving Sidney a taste of the medicine he dished out in BLACKBOARD JUNGLE (‘55)— GUESS WHO’S COMING TO DINNER (’67) —Tracy’s and Hepburn’s swan song as a screen team—and A WARM DECEMBER (’73). Oooh, how I wish TCM had included in their schedule two other films I saw as a kid: FOR LOVE OF IVY (’68) and one of my favorite Westerns, DUEL AT DIABLO (’66) – also seen when it was released. When I saw this movie back then, I had never even seen or heard of a Black cowboy (sorry Bill Picket). As I watched DUEL AT DIABLO, I incredulously proclaimed, “how could he even BE a cowboy?” I’ve since learned that lesson! This Western had intersecting stories that weaved its way to a good ol’ fashioned battle between ‘cowboys and Indians.’ The fifth movie I saw in theatres, and one that I heartily recommend, is THE LONG SHIPS (’64).

Poitier (Aly Mansuh): “We sail tomorrow and may Allah send us a fair wind and a calm sea.” 

Richard Widmark (Rolfe): “And may Thor do the same, my lord.”

This movie would make a fun evening for a big audience. It’s action and adventure all the way. THE LONG SHIPS revolves around Vikings and Moors working together to find “The Mother of All Voices” – a great large bell made of pure gold. Is it real, is it a tale told by a cunning schemer? They’re about to find out. These two cultures clash but they need each other for the common good: TREASURE! Richard Widmark and Poitier made a total of three movies together; the others being the searing racial drama NO WAY OUT (’50) and the Naval tale THE BEDFORD INCIDENT (’65). That film sort of puts me to mind of Denzel Washington’s and Gene Hackman’s submarine drama CRIMSON TIDE (’95).

In THE LONG SHIPS the sea-faring Vikings go toe-to-toe with the masters of the Desert. Widmark is engaging as the glib liar who weaves tales out of whole cloth and gets his men into scrapes his boasting can’t get them out of. Don’t be thrown by Poitier’s Elvis pompadour; he is the stoic and regal ruler of a Moorish kingdom and the King and master of all he surveys. He can command–as he does–any soldier to die and it’s considered an honor. < Gulp!! > The Mare of Steel has to be seen to be believed. That’s embedded in my memory. Poitier’s the villain this time and I’ll bet he relished it. He’s played a lot of noble heroic characters up until then. It must’ve been fun to cut loose. Seeing the movie now at my life-experienced 12-plus-plus-plus years, he might not seem as villainous as he did when I was a kid, nor the Moors that bad.

Widmark and Poitier were friends and enjoyed joining up again, shooting in an exotic location, playing dress up and having beautiful women around. If you want to get slightly into the racial subtext, it’s interesting to see how each man acts around the other’s woman. Widmark (as prisoner of the Moors) has a lot more leeway to seductively come on to the dark-haired beauty of the Moorish Queen played by Rosanna Schiaffino, than Poitier’s King has with the comely young blonde played by Beba Loncar. Poitier is so hungry for the riches of the bell, he even ignores his own wife’s advances. How’s that for avoiding America’s sticky racial peccadilloes.

If you like action, adventure, tenuous explosive partnerships, a stirring musical score by Dusan Radic that Steiner and Korngold would be proud of and which still gives me goosebumps...you can’t go wrong with THE LONG SHIPS. It’s the one to DVR or catch on Watch TCM.

Doctor, teacher, juvenile delinquent, dock worker, wayward son, Moor, cowboy, detective and more, it’s great to have Sidney Poitier as TCM’s Star of the Month. In all his incarnations there was a code of honor at his core. Before him was actor James Edwards and before that, the great Juano Hernandez. They didn’t quite capture the audience or studio backing in a big leading man way. Sidney Poitier came at just the right time. I think America was finally ready.

[jamesginortonblog]

No one could accuse James Norton of allowing himself to be typecast. The 34-year-old has played a vicar-turned-sleuth in Grantchester, a violent rapist in Happy Valley, and the aristocratic hero of War & Peace. He’s also number three in the betting to be the new James Bond. And he’s just about to add to his library of opposites with two new roles: the staid tutor John Brooke, who marries Emma Watson’s Meg March, in the star-studded new film adaptation of Little Women; and the flamboyant real-life figure at the centre of the Profumo scandal – Stephen Ward – in BBC One’s The Trial of Christine Keeler.

“Ward was 100 per cent the fall guy,” says Norton, sporting a dark-blue crushed velvet jacket and settling in on a chaise longue in an upmarket London hotel. The actor looks every bit as debonair as you’d expect for a man playing the high-society osteopath with connections that ran from Soho to the aristocracy. “The government needed to clear their own name by tarnishing someone else’s.”

It was Ward who introduced the 46-year-old Secretary of State for War John Profumo (Ben Miles) to 19-year-old model and showgirl Christine Keeler (Sophie Cookson) at a party at Lord Astor’s country house estate of Cliveden in 1961. It led to an affair that exposed Profumo as a security threat – thanks to Keeler’s simultaneous relationship with a Russian naval attaché.

Keeler and her friend Mandy Rice-Davies (Ellie Bamber) often stayed at Ward’s London mews flat, and the 50-year-old former public schoolboy would later be prosecuted for living off immoral earnings in a dubious case of establishment revenge. The two had contributed small amounts to household expenses. Ward committed suicide after the judge’s summing up amounted to a direction to the jury to find him guilty.

Amanda Coe’s stylish, evocative drama establishes Keeler and Rice-Davies as sexually liberated young women for their time. Does Norton think they were victims? “Ward definitely used certain relationships he had with young, beautiful women to ingratiate himself with the wealthy elite,” he says. “He also groomed them to a point… but it’s too simplistic to say he was a man who groomed young women. His relationship with these young girls was often a very positive one, he would enable them, take them out of poverty.” Keeler was from a disadvantaged background and fitted the mould of the “alley cats” Ward liked to befriend. Norton gives a terrific performance as the sleazy Pygmalion.

“I really warmed to him… you fall in love with these characters, and Stephen Ward was way ahead of his time, so brave in how he lived his life and expressed himself, his sexual tastes, his flirting with cross-dressing, in a world that was still incredibly repressed.

“And the final reckoning was that Stephen Ward had somehow corrupted these Tory ministers and it was all his fault, which is absurd.”

I wonder if Norton, the son of a retired college lecturer and a mother who taught medical ethics, is as dazzled by the truly posh as Ward was.

“Wealth or class are not things that I’m particularly dazzled by,” he says. “I am by talent.” He cites Little Women director Greta Gerwig and her partner Noah Baumbach, who made Netflix’s Marriage Story, as an example.

Norton himself is part of a powerhouse acting couple, with British star Imogen Poots, whom he became close to when they starred together in a play in 2017. They seem very happy. “It’s good,” he says, but adds, “my personal life is very normal, I have a house in Peckham, my [parents] live in Yorkshire. There's very little glamour and scandal.”

There was a little bit of the latter when his previous girlfriend, actress Jessie Buckley, said their break-up had been “acrimonious”, but Norton is far too canny to add fuel to that particular fire.

Similarly, he won’t comment on the rumours linking him to James Bond, insisting they are “based on nothing”. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have strong opinions on the series in general.

“We all know that with James Bond, large parts of it, and all the versions of it in the past, are now antiquated and it needs to be updated,” he says. “And I think that Barbara Broccoli and the producers are very aware of that. Bringing in people like Phoebe Waller-Bridge can only help.”

Might the spy be a little too one-dimensional for someone who has taken on so many interesting parts? Daniel Craig, who is stepping aside after the latest film No Time To Die comes out in April, has often seemed unhappy with the role.

“If I was to take on a franchise,” Norton says, “I would always want to complement it with something completely different.”

He has just taken on a big HBO sci-fi series, The Nevers, he says, and is in negotiations with the BBC about doing a second series of McMafia. We chat about the fact that the first series attracted a measure of criticism, including some for his own performance as Alex Godman, the scion of a Russian mafia family drawn reluctantly into the underworld. “There was an article about the three wooden faces of James Norton,” he says with a laugh.

How did he take it?

“It’s a rite of passage that you have [bad reviews],” he replies. “Ultimately, it’s an art form which is deeply subjective and you’re never going to please everyone.” The character was intended to be “inscrutable and calcified”, he adds. Nevertheless, he admits he might play it slightly differently second time around.

“Yeah, possibly,” he says. “But, then again, you don’t want to pander to the people who didn’t like it. There's so much content out there that people who don't like it can go and find something else.”

One of the factors that Norton and director James Watkins agreed upon when sketching out Godman’s background was his public school education. Norton is a public school boy too; a former pupil of Ampleforth, the leading Catholic boarding school which was found to have covered up the sexual abuse of scores of children in a devastating report in 2018.

Norton never saw any wrongdoing during his time there, but does admit to being “quite badly bullied” and credits one of the monks - a Father Peter - with helping him get through it. “I was able to go and just talk to him and he basically became my therapist,” says Norton. “I just sort of sobbed my eyes out.”

Has it left a mark? “It probably has a bit,” he says. “It’s not defined me, but it has informed who I am. I’m hyper aware if someone is being in any way ostracised on a film set, for example.”

On Little Women, he found himself on set with some of the industry’s biggest names, including Saoirse Ronan, Timothée Chalamet, Meryl Streep and Laura Dern. The film’s a deliriously romantic and sentimental take on the novel’s sibling rivalries, but it takes its duty to Louisa May Alcott’s study of the economic subjection of women seriously. “It's important for us to go back to those punctuation marks in the struggle towards equality and recognise how far we've come, but also how we're not quite there yet,” Norton says.

He and Watson were given the task of writing their own marriage vows for the film, which he says he laboured over but arrived with them unfinished to discover that Watson had already written hers and they were beautiful. He was just young enough to read the early Harry Potter books, he notes, but has only seen a couple of the films – “Don’t tell Emma.”

He plays Chalamet’s tutor – did he fancy the 23-year-old as everyone else seems to right now? He smiles. “He’s a beguiling and bizarre, unique force of nature,” he says. Norton had been wondering about wearing a suit to today’s photoshoot, but is glad he didn’t as he’s just bumped into the younger man in a Gorillaz tee-shirt and sunglasses. “Whenever he’s around, I feel about 10 years older than I am.”

Among all its bold women, I wonder if his own character – John Brooke – is just a teeny bit dull. He laughs. “He’s a little quieter than some of the other characters, but that allowed me to just witness all these great women actors. It was incredible.”

There’s certainly nothing dull or quiet about the character he plays in the film Mr Jones, which is released in February. It’s the surprisingly little-known story of Gareth Jones, the journalist who uncovered the Holodomor – the man-made famine genocide inflicted by the Soviet Union upon Ukraine in 1932-33, which is estimated to have killed up to 7.5 million people. “He blew the whistle on the Soviet Union,” says Norton. “He was the first person to go [to Ukraine], and come back and tell the world.”

In the West, the economic crash of 1929 had led to the Great Depression. “Everyone was looking at the Soviet experiment thinking, ‘Oh, it's working’,” Norton says. “They were getting into bed with Stalin and trade deals were being made. And no one was calling them out. Until this one serious, bespectacled, earnest Welsh journalist got on a train and risked his life to blow the whistle.”

I wonder if those types of films can command a big enough audience to keep getting made? He accepts that independent cinema is in a period of shrinkage, but says, “while the audience for this type of film might not be as big as a Marvel movie, we have to protect those stories because film isn't just about escapism. It's also about education.”

[1-800-hellraiser]

Born This Way (Jane the Killer x Female! Lesbian!Reader)

Pages: 5.1 

Words: 1,793

Genre: I have no Idea tbh/kinda fluffy?

Associated song: Born this way - Lady Gaga

!Tw! Swearing and alcohol

(P.s Happy Pride! :))

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

"No matter gay, straight, or bi, lesbian, transgendered life. I'm on the right track baby, I was born to survive."

    You stand nervously at Jane's door, trying to work up the nerve to knock. 'Why is this so fucking difficult for me?' You ask yourself, you don't really know. You want to ask Jane to go to a pride parade with you and Clockwork that's somewhat close to the mansion. But, you can't bring yourself to ask her. You don't want to be a pussy and ask someone else to ask her for you, that's middle school level pussy-ness. You are not going to stoop down to that level. Ever.

   Taking a deep breath, you knock on Jane's door. You immediately regret it as you hear a muffled 'I'll be there in a second' through her door. You are tempted to sprint back to your room. Before you could, Jane's door opens. Your breath hitches in your throat. "Oh hey Y/n." "H-hey Jane." You manage out, Jane looks at you funny. "Are you okay Y/n?" Hearing that, you finally come to your senses. 

   "Oh yeah, I'm fine. I just zoned out a bit. But, I came to ask you if you wanted to maybe go to a pride parade with me and Clockwork?" You squeak out, Jane's eyes widen a bit. "I would love that, Y/n. When are we going?" Jane asks, gently rubbing her left hand over her right. "Tomorrow at noon, its going to be on walnut  street. We're gonna walk." You explain, a hint of relief in your tone.

   "Ok, great!" Jane says, putting her hands together. You smile and nod. "I'm gonna go tell Clockwork that you're coming, I'll see you tomorrow." You say, giving Jane a gentle wave, she waves back and goes back into her  room. You silently celebrate in front of her closed door. Then, you happily walk to Clockwork's room.

    After navigating through a few hallways, you find a door with 'Clockwork' messily etched into the wood. You knock on Clockworks door excitedly, rocking back and forth on your heels. After a few seconds, a disheveled looking Clockwork emerges from her room. "What do you want." She slurs, your face explodes into a giant grin. "She said yes!" You say, bouncing on your feet. Clockwork smiles and wipes some drool off of her chin. 

   "That's great, now leave me alone, I'm trying to sleep." Clockwork insists, closing her door on you. That didn't phase you though, since she's just like that. You go back to your room to find something to do. You arrive back at your room and decide to pick out some clothes for pride tomorrow.

   You decide to take the lesbian flag you have hanging above your bed with you. You search through your wardrobe and find a sleeveless flannel with the lesbian flag colors. You take that and find a pair of black jean shorts. You grab those and look for a pair of socks. You find knee high rainbow socks with white hearts you got last year from Spencer's. You also have some bracelets that are the lesbian flag colors. You set your outfit on top of your dresser and look around for something to do. 

   You glance at the clock on your wall. It reads 10:37 (22:37) pm. You decide to shower and hit the hay. You grab your pjs and walk to the bathroom. You grab some towels from the cabnet next to the sink. You place your pjs on the edge of the sink and strip off your old clothes. You toss your old clothes to the side, and turn on the shower. You step in and let the warm water cascade over you. 

   Stepping out of the shower, you wrap at towel around your figure. After you dry off, you brush through your h/c mess of hair. After that, you brush your teeth and pick up your clothes and put them in with the rest of your dirty clothes. You finally flop onto your bed and slowly slip out of consciousness.

   Tomorrow arrives with a bang, literally. Clockwork got back at you for waking her up by sneaking into your room with a gun and firing it in your room. Thankfully, nothing was damaged. "YOU MOTHERFUCKER." You screech falling off your bed. Clockwork is doubled over crying. "You ass!" You yell, Clockwork only laughs harder.

   You sigh loudly, "I'll deal with you later, I need to shower." You sigh and close the door on the dying Clockwork. You collect your pride apparel and trudge into the bathroom. You peel off your pjs and toss them aside. You test the water before getting in the shower. The water is perfect, so you step in. 

   Stepping out of your nice morning shower, you feel refreshed. You dry yourself off, brush your hair and teeth, then get dressed. You also used body paint and painted the lesbian flag on the bottom of your right eye and the top of your left eye. You look at yourself in the mirror. You smile, you look cute today, you hope Jane thinks the same.

   You blush and shake your head, ridding that thought from your mind. You walk out of the bathroom with your pjs, butting them back to wear tonight. You put in your shoes and gather your things. You leave your room and notice that Clockwork left. You shrug and walk down to the living room. Clockwork is decked out in pride gear, but Jane isn't so much. She does, however, have a medium sized lesbian flag laying on her lap and lesbian flags painted on the cheeks of her mask. 

    "Wow Y/n, you look cute." Jane muses, resting her face in her hand, being careful of her makeup. "O-oh, thanks, Jane." You respond, gliding your fingertips over your flushed cheek. "Well, we better get going, I want to get there early before it get's to rowdy," Jane states. You nod, some pride serve alcohol for the adults, some don't serve alcohol. The pride closest to you, does. You follow Jane and Clockwork out the door and make your way through the forest.

   You finally make it to pride. There are quite a few people there already. About, 50-100 people, with more probably on their way. There are many flags, of course. There are the most common ones, like the gay, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, transgender, nonbinary, genderqueer, LGBTQ+ ally, and many more flags. But there are also some that are less common, such as intersex, omnisexual, aromantic, asexual, polysexual, and even lithromantic flags. 

   You're so happy to see so many people that are accepting of themselves and others. You feel this fuzziness inside you, and it's not just the beer. You feel at home, safe. You look around at the people, and vendors. The vendors are selling food and apparel for people that want to buy it. There are also a few drag queens and kings walking around, taking pictures with people. There is also music, the song playing right now is 'Born This Way' by Lady Gaga. 

   "Holy shit, is that Trixie Mattel?!" You hear Clockwork shout over the music. You turn and sure enough, it is the infamous Trixie Mattel. "It sure is." You add, Clockwork grabs your and Jane's wrists and proceeds to drag you to ho meet her. You giggle, for as long as you known Clockwork, you've known about her love for the queen. Clockwork watches Trixie's videos religiously. 

   Once you reach the queen, Clockworks freezes. You never seen her do this before, at all. Jane taps Trixie on the shoulder. "Excuse me, Ms. Mattel?" Trixie turns around and smiles at Jane. "Oh honey, no need to be so formal! Please, call me Trixie." The queen declares, Jame nods. "Okay, Trixie, my friend Natalie here wanted to get a picture with you, she's a huge fan." Jane explains, nudging Clockwork closer to Trixie. 

   Clockwork snaps out of her broken-ness and grins ear to ear. She pats around her pockets for her phone, a look of panic sets onto her facial features as she realizes she left her phone at home. You hand her your phone, "I'll send you the picture when we go back home," You affirm. Clockwork smiles and hugs you tightly, "Oh my god thank you Y/n, you're the best!" "You're welcome." You say, patting her back. 

   Clockwork goes up to Trixie, Trixie wraps her harm around Clockwork and Clockwork wraps her arm around Trixie's waist. Clockwork snaps the picture, says a quick 'thank you' and scuffles away. After she walks away, she bounces on her heels, gushing about how nice Trixie is and how cool she is. You giggle at Clockwork fangirling over her favorite queen. 

   You, Jane and Clockwork had fun at pride. You won a dance competition between you and a random person who bet on you losing. You gained twenty dollars from that experience. Jane got hit on by a lot of women and used you as an excuse to get away from it all, while Clockwork made out with a total of twelve single people. Eight female and four male. You bought some more pride apparel at some of the vendors and some fucking amazing food. Clockwork also got drunk and threw up in a trashcan, that's when you and Jane decided to call it a day.

   You and Jane haul a drunken Clockwork up to her room. "Nooooo, I wanna go *hic* backkkkk." She pleads, Jane shakes her head. "Clockwork, you're very drunk, we can't go back, besides, it was getting dark anyways." You try to explain, but it didn't work. You open Clockwork's bedroom door and lay her on her bed. You set her phone in her hand and walk out of the room with Jane. 

   "I had a lot of fun today with you, Jane." You inform, rubbing the back of your neck. "I did too, we should do that again sometime." You nod and look down. "Y/n, look at me, I think you have something on your face." You look up at Jane and she leans forward and plants a sweet peck on your lips. "Goodnight Y/n, see you tomorrow," She says. Jane turns and calmly walks away from you. You brush your fingertips over your lips and break out into a goofy grin.

[newagesispage]

                                                                            JUNE    2020

PAGE RIB

FX and Ryan Murphy will bring us season 10 of American Horror Story next year. The cast includes Mac Culkin, Kathy Bates, Sarah Paulson, Evan peters, Billie Lourd, Lily Rabe and Finn Wittrock. There will also be a spinoff called, wait for it, American Horror Stories. Woo Hoo!!

*****

Reno 911 is back

*****

I happen to have a clementine in my butt. –Jimmy Kimmel

*****

NASA got their dragon launch. It is unfortunate that they had to compete with the current cycle.

*****

Sam Springsteen (son of Patti and Bruce) has been sworn in as a Jersey City firefighter.

*****

Ryan Murphy’s Hollywood is great. I don’t know how to feel about the fast and the loose and the nice made up endings like Once upon a time in Hollywood.  Will this be a trend??** Another great one on Netflix is, Have a good trip.

*****

Are there biopics in the works for Michael and Janet Jackson, Whitney Houston, the Bee Gees and Bowie?? That is the word.

*****

Days alert: Look for Lani to become pregnant. Eli and Justin are both thinking marriage. Claire is back which will bring Shawn and Belle back. Gabi may be kidnapped. Word is that July will have a wedding every week that will lead to a funeral.  Allie Horton is all grown up and heading back with a secret. Will she be like Mom, Sami?? Brady thinks that ruining Titan will get back at Victor. Sonny and Will may get a chance at another child. Eve may be back later in the summer. And, C’mon Xander, do something wonderful to get your woman back. Lucas may be on the way back and Orpheus is leaving. ** Judi Evans (Adrienne) had a serious horseback riding accident on May 16. She had broken ribs, a collapsed lung and 2 chipped vertebrae. The good news was in the hospital they discovered a blood clot so the whole thing saved her life.

*****

Morton Buildings is being sued by 2 women for harassment and discrimination. One incident claims an employee said, “God created women by lining up all the men and castrating the stupid ones.” Another lawsuit was filed in 2009.**Thanks for the tip, Di.

*****

If you expect elementary school children to endure the trauma of active shooter drills for your freedoms, you can wear a mask to Costco. –Sara Elizabeth Dill

*****

House republicans have sued Pelosi to block proxy voting.

*****

Seth Rogan, Steve Carell and Ben Schwartz are donating funds to bailout Minneapolis protestors after the death of George Floyd.** The country has been turned upside down as another cop kills another black man. No need to rehash, we have all seen it. I wonder if those four horrible cops are proud of what they have done to their city. Could we finally have a tipping point in this time when racism is spotlighted with our racist President? After many incidents in just the past couple of weeks and everyone on edge with coronavirus, it has boiled over. Scary Clown threatens to start shooting as Minneapolis burns down. Burn down a police station, get a cop arrested (finally)? Seems worth it to me. The way the killer looked into the camera as if he was just so proud is gonna stick with us as it should.  ** A CNN crew were arrested live on the air but released later after Jeff Zucker spoke to Gov. Walz.**  Liberate Minnesota was the Trump tweet, well, they are working on it.** I am hearing people saying in all sincerity lately that it is time for the humans to go, we are ruining each other and the planet.

*****

If you have not seen the Killer Mike speech from Atlanta, you need to check it out.** Netflix, Hulu and Paramount are taking a stand and showing support for the Black lives matter movement.

*****

John Cusack put out video of police coming at him with batons and pepper sprayed him as he protested in Chicago. More than 1000 were arrested and it continues.** In Flint, Sheriff Chris Swanson and other police put down helmets and joined the protestors. Police in Schenectady took a knee and joined the march. The behavior is spreading and look what a difference it makes, could they be starting to get it?

*****

Never thought I’d say this but in light of everything that is happening, the DNC made a big mistake in not backing Berne Sanders. –Pete Buttigieg ** Ok, first, of course he is right but you helped set this all in motion. It is a bit late for that …or is it? Biden is not the OFFICIAL nom, the deal is not done yet. Will Bernie jump back in the race?? Perhaps we will soon see BERNE FOR PRESIDENT again.

*****

American carnage was a self -fulfilling prophecy, alas. –Susan Glasser

*****

Scary Clown 45 has designated Antifa a terrorist organization. ** There is no legal authority for designating a domestic group, any such designation would raise significant concerns. –ACLU

*****

In any season, police violence is an injustice, but its harm is elevated amidst the remarkable stress people are facing amidst covid-19. Even now, there is evidence of excessive police initiated force and unwarranted shootings of civilians, some of which have been fatal. –American Medical Association.

*****

Washington Week had a great discussion about how all the ills in US history have played out in 2020. Impeachment, pandemic, depression and civil unrest are all here at once.

*****

Word is that Trevor Noah has been proven much more popular than the other late night hosts since they have been at home.

*****

I predict the picture of the upside down flag with the backdrop of the burning liquor store will be the lasting image of the Trump Presidency.

*****

This is the Presidency George Wallace never had. –Max Boot

*****

Spanish flu, Polio, Aids, Covid-19: Why don’t people get any smarter? The masses (and sometimes those in charge) can get it wrong over and over again. From Dr.? Phil and Dr Oz and their cavalier attitude toward death to Rosie wanting her son to take a leave of absence from the grocery store, we just do not learn. Even before that, I can’t forget the woman who wanted to change her vote after she found out Buttigieg was married to a man. Is she even a dem? Do your research people! Respect others, people!! Have compassion, stop being so selfish and use your brains!!** Puerto Rico was a pre curser to the pandemic response.

*****

Amy Cooper Chris Cooper? WTF? Another liberal who is not really liberal.

*****

Crime in general is down and police shootings are up. And yes, now the opportunists are out of control and anger is boiling over but protests against police brutality causing police brutality is WRONG!

*****

Check out the book, What makes a marriage last, from Marlo Thomas and Phil Donahue.

*****

Ben Taub, Barry Blitt and Colson Whitehead have won the Pulitzer Prize.

*****

Word is that Nick Cage will play Joe Exotic of Tiger King fame. Of course he will.

*****

I refuse to wear a mask because God did not have us born with one.- Nino Vitali** How many people have you heard say, “The President isn’t wearing a mask, so I don’t have to.”

*****

It looks like Apple will partner with Paramount for Scorsese’s adaptation of Killers of the Flower Moon.

*****

Oh my: Scary Clown is having a twitter feud with twitter!  He has to, of course, lash out and now signs an executive order targeting social media. He is going on about section 230 which gives immunity to social media companies against being sued over content.  It could curb liability protection. Experts say it will only encourage lawsuits because he does not want to be edited.

*****

If Native American tribes were counted as states, the five most infected states in the US would all be native tribes. –Nicholas Kristof

*****

Did ya see that Jeff Epstein doc from James Patterson. It is lays blame in all directions. Why does it seem like all these old guys on there with all that money have such yellow teeth?

*****

Lindsey Graham is urging Federal judges in their mid to late 60’s to step down so they can fill the spots with republicans.

*****

Richard McGuire tried to live at Disney World in a zoological park that was closed down.

*****

Caterpillar, Levi, Black and Decker and others have cut jobs but gave millions to shareholders.

*****

Axl Rose and Steve Mnuchin had a twitter feud.

*****

China announced plans to introduce a National Security law in Hong Kong. The law enables mainland Chinese National security agencies to operate in the city for the first time. Using a rarely used constitutional method, they bypassed Hong Kong legislature. Since the former British colony became a semi-autonomous region of China more than 20 years ago, they have manages its own affairs. The law will affect media, education, politics and international business. Many acts will now be criminalized. Hong Kong is party to international treaties guaranteeing civil liberties that China is not. The U.S. is urging Bejing to reconsider. Pro- democracy demonstrators in Hong Kong were tear gassed as they yelled, “Liberate Hong Kong, revolution of our times.”

*****

The Michael Flynn charges were dropped.

*****

Holyoke soldier’s home in Massachusetts lost 70 souls to Coronavirus. AP photographer David Goldman got a projector and cast big pictures the vets onto the homes of loved ones. Each one had a story including one vet who was sent to Nuremberg to guard Nazis. He claimed to have filled Hermann Goring’s glass with toilet water.

*****

The swimming Dinosaur, Spinosaurus has been getting a lot of attention.  The Sahara desert which was once massive rivers kept the first intact aquatic dinosaur.  With a snout, teeth and jaw like a croc, it is so far the only known kind of dinosaur that lived in the water.  The 50 foot long bizarre fin-like tail is like a giant paddle.  Paleontologists encourage others to have a look at other fossils to see if there are more.

*****

Octavia Spencer is said to have been telling everyone she is a year younger than she is. She is turning 50.

*****

The $69 million ventilator scam. Really? The White House heard from a guy who told them he could supply the product so the WH told NY to order them and stood behind the guy but it was a scam. Scary Clown sure loves his shady people, intentional or not.** A Florida woman, Rebecca Jones claims that she was asked to fudge the numbers to make reopening look better. ** Georgia moved their dates around on a graph to make their cases seem flattened. ** For 17 months, Florida investigated voter fraud for Trump and Gov. Scott. They found NOTHING!!

*****

Amazon stock price is up 25% yet they have become notorious for the terrible way they treat their workers. Bezos is set to become a trillionaire.

*****

We have to remember that order comes from chaos. True enhancements can come from large scale crisis. What will we learn from this one? This is a warning!!** Universal health care? No more buffets? ** Prices will probably go up everywhere what with the closings and all the extra cleaning. I hope this means that hotel bedspreads will be cleaned after every stay.  It looks like there may be no cocktails or food on planes.

*****

Take a virtual tour of the statue of liberty. All the fun without all the swaying.

*****

Local PBS stations are making it easier to learn. Students will be able to put on a channel for lessons that does not need cable or internet. Woo Hoo!!

*****

Insiders say that Trump threatened to sue his campaign manager because he did not agree with his assessment and the poll numbers in a 2 day rant.** Just one more example of Scary Clown double talk. Then: Less testing, less positives. Now: So much testing is a badge of honor.**Doctors without Borders are now here, not the third world countries that they usually help, it is US.

*****

Haven’t we had enough of powerful men being accused? A female Dem candidate would have been nice and Bernie did not seem to have any baggage that way either.

*****

Will the Senate see fit to ok some more stimulus $? 4 trillion to prop up Wall Street seems per the usual. Enough for them, let’s take care of those small businesses and those really in need.

*****

Thao and the get down stay down is one of the best in this internet entertainment era.

*****

Check out Stars in the House with Tony Shalhoub and others.

*****

The Detectorists on Acorn TV is a great little show!!

*****

Happy Day! There is a new season of At Home with Amy Sedaris!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*****

It looks like Pier 1 will permanently close as well as JC Penney, J Crew, Sears and Neiman Marcus.

*****

Check out the wonderful, This is about Humanity!!

*****

Have U seen the trailer for The King of Staten Island?? OMG Pete Davidson, Steve Buschemi and Marisa Tomei , just to name a few!! I can’t fucking wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*****

Bill Maher looked really high on his 5-22-20 show. This working from home makes him much more mellow!!

*****

3 Russian doctors treating coronavirus have fallen out of windows in about a weeks time.** Russia boasts that it has more ventilators per capita than the U.S. After they made fun of us, on May 22, the first shipment of U.S. ventilators headed to Russia. They are a gift from Trump and the U.S. taxpayers. –Julia Davis

*****

State Department Inspector General Steve Linick is out.  Was he investigating Pompeo?  Trump never knows anything about any of it. Why are all the protectors of the rule of law thrown out?  ** Was Pompeo throwing lavish foreign policy dinners with Reba, Dale Jr. and the owners of that horrid chicken sandwich place? ** The clean water rule has been suspended which cuts protections for most of the country’s wetlands.

*****

The market facilitation program has been helping small farmers over the last few years in a $28 billion bailout. Trump’s sanctions brought this on and the corona virus has made it worse.  Mostly the money has helped bankers and bigger farms. Much like the stimulus $ that was earmarked for small business, there are loopholes that screw up the ‘rules.’ The cap is not being followed like they may say because the $ is going to “investors” in the farm and often not the actual farmer who works on a smaller scale. A small farm run by family members may not get the bailout. It seems to be more important to get a good lawyer who can manipulate the paperwork.  Sad that taxpayer $ is used this way.

*****

Just in time, the Space Force flag and plans for the super duper missile have been unveiled. WTF??

*****

Paula Poundstone is a woman I knew I liked. She was recently talking about not liking couches. I thought I was the only one, People are always telling me how much they love their couches and I don’t get it.

*****

Jeff Gibbs and Michael Moore are upset after Youtube pulled their doc, Planet of the Humans. After 8.3 million views, there was a copyright claim by Toby Smith of about 4 seconds of footage.  Now , this is not the first time that Moore has had problems with content in one of his movies.  Many have claimed there is a lot of fiction in this latest venture. I think I would just remove the possible copyright infringement and move on. It can now be seen on Vimeo.

A Florida law that restricts felon voting is found unconstitutional by a federal judge.** The RNC filed a lawsuit against California to stop mailing ballots to registered voters.

*****

R.I.P. Little Richard, Roy Horn, Jerry Stiller, Sam Lloyd, Ann Sullivan, Mike Cogswell, Michael Keenan, Shirley Knight, Irrfan Khan, Hana Kimura, Forrest Compton, Jimmy Cobb, George Floyd, Ken Osmomd, all the corona victims, Lynn Shelton, Richard Herd, Larry Kramer, Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, Anthony James, Fred Willard and Carolyn Busch.

[themaskedwriter]

Three Jerks

Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary – After the Battle of New York, you decide to get away from the city for a vacation in the Caribbean. But one week away from the hustle and bustle of the Big Apple quickly turns into a few years as you find you enjoy the simplicity of island life. As it turns out, you’re not the only native New Yorker who finds solace on the white sandy beaches of Jamaica.

Warnings – Angst, Fluff, Sexy Times, Cursing, and Drinking

Word Count – 5K

Notes: This is a Canon Divergent fic based on Anthony Mackie’s response to a question at the ACE Comic Con in Seattle. If you’d like to watch the video, the entire panel discussion with Mackie, Sebastian, and Tom Holland is on YouTube. Fast forward to 1:03:50.

Clues: 

1. This author prefers writing angst more than anything.

2. This author is notorious for her cruel cliffhangers.

3. This author loves adding a good plot twist.

YN had noticed the three new additions to the lonely stretch of beach she’d called home for God only knew how many years. When she’d gotten off the clunky little prop plane at Sangster International Airport, she’d told the taxi driver to take her to the nearest beach bar. A half a mile later, he’d pulled up to the Dead End and she’d known right then that she was exactly where she’d needed to be.

The Battle of New York had completely demolished the office building she’d worked in since she’d graduated from college, and her tiny apartment hadn’t faired much better. With only the clothes on her back and a fairly decent savings account, she’d booked the first flight out of New York to Jamaica.

She’d only intended to stay for a week, but once she’d learned that the owner of the Dead End was ready to retire, she’d drained her savings account and bought the tiny beach bar. What had started out as a whim had quickly turned into the best decision of her life. Island life was nothing like New York and she actually enjoyed waking up each morning and going to work, which wasn’t something she could have ever said about her job in the city.

The locals had taken their time warming up to her, but once they realized that she was there to stay—and that she had no intentions of turning the dive bar into some hipster joint—they had welcomed her with open arms. Her clientele included a few regulars that lived on the island full time, as well as tourists—like she’d been that first week—who were looking for the first bar they could find once they landed on the island.

There was a hotel right next door, so most people ended up getting a room and wasting their entire vacation sitting on one of her barstools and spending all of their money. YN didn’t mind, though. Middle class working men and women tipped better than the snooty rich folks down the beach at the Sandals resort. A few of them came ‘slumming’ every so often, and they always annoyed the shit out of her and her regulars.

She’d pegged the three new guys as entitled rich men on a business retreat at first, but after a few days—and some sizable tips—she’d had to rethink her initial assessment of them. They were a peculiar group of men, and something about them struck her as odd from the very first time they’d parked their cute little tushes on her barstools. Within the first few minutes she’d realized that they were all former military. It wasn’t so much the way they looked—every one of them had full beards and their hair definitely wasn’t 'high and tight’ like she’d seen in the movies. The way they moved, and the way they spoke gave away their military training, but she hadn’t said a word to them about it. They seemed like they wanted to get away from their former lives, and as someone who’d done the same, she couldn’t hold it against them.

The three of them—Thomas, James, and Grant—weren’t a group of guys you would’ve expected to be joined at the hip like they were. Thomas was a true extrovert, and was always quick with a smile and a flirty comment. James was sullen and taciturn, but YN figured it had something to do with the fact that he only had one arm. Grant, on the other hand, was a dream come true. As with all groups of men, one stood out as the leader, and in this particular group, it was definitely Grant. Tall and muscular with a mop of dark blond hair that was a few shades lighter than the beard he sported, he was an imposing man that was obviously used to giving orders. Thomas and James always seemed to defer to him when it came to making decisions, so YN assumed he must have been their commanding officer while they’d served together.

The three of them had set up shop a little ways down the shore. Their establishment, Three Jerks, was unlike anything she’d ever seen on the island.  They’d bought a few jet skis and rented them out by the half hour, but they’d also purchased a dilapidated food truck and sold jerk chicken, red beans, and rice while the tourists waited for the jet skis to come back in.

As much as she hated to admit it, it was a great idea. She’d been as skeptical as the rest of the locals, but curiosity had gotten the better of her—not to mention the smell of jerk chicken wafting down on the breeze—and she’d ventured over to give their culinary skills a taste. She hadn’t been disappointed. Whoever had taught Thomas to make jerk chicken had known what they were doing. Within a week, Thomas had been forced to leave the jet ski rentals to James and Grant so he could focus on the food truck.

The three of them came by her bar most evenings, and she truly enjoyed their company, but there was a part of her that wanted to spend some one on one time with Grant. Listening in on James and Thomas’ constantly bickering like an old married couple was entertaining, but she felt a pull toward Grant that she hadn’t felt since she’d moved to the island. There had been a few flings with vacationing tourists, but that had mostly been due to the need to scratch an itch.

With Grant, it was different. He had these old, soulful eyes that spoke volumes about his mysterious history. He may have put on a carefree attitude for everyone else, but YN had learned over the years to see beneath the surface of a carefully constructed façade.

For some reason she got the impression that Grant wasn’t like most of the men that had come across her path in the past few years. There was something almost old-fashioned about the way he spoke to not only her, but everyone he conversed with. His politeness wasn’t something put on for the sake of his business—it seemed to be as genuine as the heart-stopping smile he gave her every time he sat perched on a barstool before her.

“The usual, please,” Grant told YN as he slid onto his favorite stool.

YN didn’t even need to turn around to know who’d dropped by. “What about you boys—the usual as well?”

“They’re not here,” Grant said, causing YN to turn around in surprise.

She poured three fingers of whisky into a glass and placed it neatly on a paper napkin embossed with the name of the bar. “And how exactly did you manage to get away from those two?”

“Thomas met a dame.”

YN smiled at his use of the antiquated term. It was little things like that that had her wondering where in the world he’d come from.

“And James?”

Grant laughed as he took a swig of his whisky. “The dame had a friend who took a liking to James. Thomas paid him a hundred bucks to double with him so he could get lucky.”

Shaking her head, she began to laugh. “Oh, to be a fly on that wall.”

“I know, right?”

Another customer flagged her down, so she left Grant alone with his drink. She knew this was probably her only opportunity to get him alone, so if she was going to make a move, it had to be tonight. It was the off season, so the bar wasn’t busy—it would just be a matter of getting the few customers that remained to go home so she could close up shop and try to get lucky herself.

Fate seemed to be on her side as one by one, her regulars called it an early night and left her alone with Grant. She’d been scared that he would leave before she got her chance, but he’d seemed content to drink his whisky and watch the sun set over the horizon.

“I think I’m going to close up early tonight,” she told him as she wiped the bar down with a damp rag.

“Oh,” he said, surprised at her announcement. “I can go, if you want.”

“Actually,” she began as butterflies began fluttering in her stomach. “I was hoping you’d join me for a drink…somewhere a little more private.”

She watched the confusion on his face turn to understanding and she held her breath as she waited to see what he would say. A part of her feared that she’d just ruined one of the only friendships she’d made on the island, but another part knew that she’d never forgive herself for not at least trying.

He tore his gaze away from hers and stared at the empty glass before him. He’d known how she felt about him for a while now, but he’d never acted on it. It wasn’t as if he were free to pursue a relationship, but then again, his duties and obligations had kept him from having a life for the better part of a century. Maybe it was time to be a little bit selfish.

“I’d like that,” he finally said, chancing a glance to see how she’d take his answer. He saw the relief wash across her face as a huge smile lit up her eyes in a way he’d never seen before.

“Okay, just give me a few minutes to close up shop.”

“I’ll help,” he offered as he began to help her secure the bar for the night.

The pretense of the drink was forgotten the moment they crossed the threshold of her tiny bungalow beside the bar. Before she’d known what was happening, she was pressed up against the back of the door as Grant’s lips began to softly caress hers. His hands weren’t as gentle as his mouth as he slid them beneath the hem of her shirt. The contrast between his rough hands and tender kisses had her mind reeling.

“Tell me to stop,” he whispered as his mouth left hers to explore the exposed flesh above the collar of her t-shirt.

“Don’t you dare,” she warned as she hooked one of her legs around his waist to draw him closer to her.

Regaining some of her senses, she finally let herself indulge in the one fantasy she’d had since she’d first laid eyes on him—burying her hands in his hair. The thick strands were just as soft as they appeared and as she ran her fingers over his scalp, she could feel the moan rise up in his chest before she heard it.

She’d expected him to be rough with her, and although she wouldn’t have complained in the least, he’d turned out to be a slow and patient lover. It was almost as though he was worshiping her body with his hands and lips. She lost count of how many times he sent her careening over the edge before he finally joined her.

Lying spent in his arms, she wondered if this would only be a one time thing, or if they’d finally crossed the line between friends and lovers for good. If this turned out to be the only opportunity she’d get to be loved by him, she’d be sorely disappointed. He’d completely ruined her for any other man, and she knew she’d never be able to go back to the cheap one-night stands she’d thought she’d enjoyed with the tourists.

Forcing her mind to leave her worries for tomorrow, she willed herself to relax and enjoy the afterglow of the most amazing sex she’d ever had. As she felt her minds softening toward sleep, his fingers began to lightly trail over her skin.

“Do you want me to leave?” he asked softly, not sure if she’d already fallen asleep or not.

His question had her senses reawakening as she lifted her head to meet his gaze. “I’d really like it if you stayed.”

She knew she was putting herself out there even more than she already had, but she was desperate to keep him for as long as he was willing to stay.

He leaned over and gently kissed her. “I’d like that, too.” He paused for a moment. “I should probably grab a shower, though. Care to join me?”

The prospect of shower sex had her wide awake in an instant. Sliding out of the bed, she grabbed his hand and led him toward the bathroom. As she turned on the water, she saw his eyes begin to darken with desire and she realized she was going to be in for a long night.

___________________

“That’s him,” Peter whispered to Ned as they hid behind a tuft of grass on the beach a few yards from the bar.

“Are you sure, Peter?” Ned asked as he squinted his eyes. “That doesn’t look like Captain America at all.”

Peter rolled his eyes and let out a huff. “He’s undercover—of course he doesn’t look like himself. It’s just like Falcon and the Winter Soldier—they’re trying to blend in so no one knows who they are.”

“I don’t know,” Ned said, still not convinced. “Why would Captain America be renting jet skis with the Falcon and the Winter Soldier in Jamaica? That doesn’t seem like something superheroes do.”

Peter was starting to get frustrated. “Mr. Stark told me he’d gotten really good intel that these three were down here.” He turned to his friends and began to plead. “C'mon, man. This is the first real mission Mr. Stark has given me since we went to Germany. I can’t screw this up—not like the ferry.”

Ned nodded and pulled out his phone. Zooming in as much as he could, he snapped a picture of the long-haired, bearded guy Peter was convinced was Captain America. “I guess this guy could be Cap.”

“Send me that picture,” Peter said as he pulled out his phone. “I need to text this to Mr. Stark.”

“So, if he’s Captain America, then that means your mom is on a date with the Falcon,” Ned surmised with a nod. “Way to go, Aunt May.”

Peter slapped his friend. “Ew, gross, man. That’s my aunt you’re talking about.”

“What about her friend, Debbie?” Ned asked as his eyes grew large. “She’s going to hook up with the Winter Soldier.”

“No one is hooking up,” Peter said with a huff. “May isn’t like that.” He paused for a moment. “Debbie? Yeah, probably, but not May.”

“Ooh,” Ned said as he began to chuckle. “It looks like Cap is getting lucky tonight, too.”

“What?”

Ned pointed to where the man and the bartender were closing up and heading toward a small bungalow beside the bar.

Peter looked back down at his phone. “Do you think Mr. Stark needs to know about that?”

Ned shrugged. “I don’t know? Is it important who he’s banging?”

“What if she’s a Russian spy?” Peter asked as his mind started reeling with possibilities.

“Good point,” Ned agreed. “Better let him know just in case.”

Peter’s lips formed a thin line as he nodded in agreement. Typing out a quick update, he hit send and motioned for Ned to follow him back down the beach to the Sandals resort where Mr. Stark had booked their “vacation.”

___________________

The next few days were like a dream for YN. Not only had Grant stayed the entire night, but he’d spent the next few nights at her place as well. Thomas and James had brought their new lady friends to the bar, and she’d immediately hit it off with the native New Yorkers. It had been nice to find out what was going on back home, and to hear that the city was finally starting to recover from the infamous battle that had torn it to shreds. YN had thought it was odd that the three men seemed uncomfortable talking about the Battle of New York, but she brushed it off and continued chatting with the ladies.

Thomas’ friend, May, had brought her nephew and his friend along with her, but the two boys opted to stay at the beach while the adults enjoyed drinks at the bar. YN had offered them sodas or virgin mixed drinks, but they seemed content to hang out by themselves.

James had given Grant a knowing look the first time he’d reached out to graze his fingers over her knuckles. YN wasn’t sure what to make of it, but she hoped that both James and Thomas approved of her new relationship with their friend. She didn’t want it to change the dynamic between the four of them, although, as long as they were distracted with their new lady friends, it didn’t seem to matter what Grant did with his spare time.

“Who’s that down there with Peter and Ned?” Debbie asked as she gestured toward the beach with her daiquiri.

May shielded her eyes against the setting sun as she squinted toward the beach. “It looks like Tony Stark.”

YN had been asking Grant a question, so she saw the minute his demeanor morphed from fun and lighthearted to lethal. The instant change in him—as well as Thomas and James—had her taking a step back.

Grant turned toward his friends. “Go. Now.”

Thomas shook his head as James stood up from his stool and let out a resigned sigh. “Not without you.”

All three of the ladies were confused at the sudden turn of events, but it was May that finally spoke first. “He’s not that bad, honestly. A little pompous and full of himself, maybe.”

“Rogers,” Tony called out as he stepped under the awning of the bar and removed his sunglasses.

When Grant turned around to face him, YN felt as though the ground beneath her was crumbling. She’d known that the three men had been hiding from something, but now she was slowly coming to realize that she had no idea who she’d been sharing her bed with the past few nights.

“Tony,” Grant said warily as he moved to stand in front of Thomas and James. “You should have called first.”

Tony took an outdated flip phone from his pocket and turned it over in his hands. “I would’ve, but I didn’t think this thing got good reception this far south.” Turning serious, he gave Grant a hard look. “What are you doing down here, Steve?”

It was as though someone had poured ice water down her back. Steve Rogers? The Steve Rogers? She turned to stare at Grant, but she had a hard time resigning the bearded man she’d come to love with America’s favorite son. It all made sense, though—the chivalry, the odd references, even the antiquated language he was so fond of using. She’d been sleeping with Captain America.

“We’re not doing anything wrong, Tony,” Thomas said as he stepped forward to stand beside Steve.

YN’s attention was now on the other two men she’d come to think of as friends.  Thomas and James obviously weren’t their names, but she honestly had no idea who they were. Since she’d come to the island, she’d tried to stay away from the goings-on in the world.

“I know,” Tony said, holding up his hands to show he meant no harm. “The kid’s been filling me in on your little enterprise.” He looked over toward the jet skis and food truck down the beach. “Gotta say, I love the name.”

“What do you want, Stark?” James asked as he gave Tony a hardened look.

Tony gave James a wink. “I’m not here for you, stubby.”

“Wait just one damn minute,” May said as she finally realized what was going on. Turning on Tony, she stalked over to him and began poking him in the chest with her finger. “Did you send Peter down here to spy on fugitives for you? What in the hell were you thinking?”

“May, May, no,” Peter said frantically as he rushed past Tony to grab his aunt’s arm. “It’s okay, really. Cap wouldn’t hurt me—he wouldn’t hurt anyone.” He looked up at Steve. “Right?”

Steve had been confused for a moment, but once he heard Peter’s voice, he realized who he was. “You’re the spider-kid from Queens. The one from Germany?”

May’s eyes grew large and she was about to tear into someone, but who would’ve gotten the tongue-lashing was left up in the air as Tony quickly interceded. “Happy. Take the kid and his family back to the resort. I’ll be along shortly.”

YN stood slack-jawed as a burly man in a suit began ushering a cussing May, a dumbstruck Debbie, a stuttering Peter, and his starry-eyed friend toward the road where a sleek black car sat idling at the curb. So much was happening so quickly, she was having a hard time keeping track of it all.

Once it was just the men, Tony turned to Steve with a pleading look in his eye. “Something big is coming. I don’t know what, but it’s bad. We need all hands on deck.” He paused and gave Steve a hopeful look. “Whaddya say? Want to get the band back together?”

Steve let out a sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers. “What about Ross?”

“I’ll take care of Ross,” Tony assured him.

“What about me?” James asked.

Tony let out a huff. “I still hate you, Barnes. But Rogers won’t come back with out you two numbnuts, so that doesn’t leave me much choice.”

“You goin’ to send me back to the Raft?” Thomas asked as he crossed his arms over his chest and glared at Tony.

“No one’s going to the Raft,” Tony assured them. “I told you I’d deal with Ross, and I will. Rhodey will keep him occupied while we deal with this threat. After that, we’ll have some leverage to get your names cleared with the UN.”

Steve turned to look at Thomas and his gaze landed on YN. With a heavy heart, he realized that in a matter of minutes, he’d completely lost her trust. The look she was giving him was a mix of hurt and anger and he couldn’t very well blame her.

With a sigh, he looked away and focused on his friends. “Whaddya say, guys? It’s your call.”

“I say we stay,” James began, but before Thomas or Steve could reply, he held up a hand. “But I know your dumbass. You’ll never sleep knowing the world is in danger and you didn’t go help.”

Thomas shook his head. “I hate to admit it, but I agree with Buck.”

Steve shook his head. “You two go get what we’ll need while I talk to Tony.”

Thomas and James nodded and turned to go. They both stopped and gave YN a sorrowful look. Muttering apologies, they shuffled off toward the apartment they shared over the rental shop.

“Can I get a drink?” Tony asked YN once the other two were gone.

“Make that two?” Steve asked with a grimace.

YN didn’t say anything as she turned to pour the drinks. He hadn’t specified, but she assumed Tony Stark was a whisky man, so that’s what she gave him. Feeling as though she’d be intruding, she started to walk toward the other end of the bar, but Steve stopped her.

“YN,” he said softly as he reached out to touch her arm. “Please let me explain.”

Tony narrowed his eyes as he took in the scene. Pointing back and forth between the two, he slowly began to nod as if he’d just figured it out. “Something’s going on here, isn’t it?” He focused his attention on her. “YN, right? I’m taking it you didn’t know?”

She looked to Steve to see if he’d answer, but when he simply hung his head and took a sip of his whisky, she turned back to Tony. “I knew he had a past—we all do—but I didn’t know he was Steve Rogers. He told me his name was Grant.”

“It is,” Steve said looking up at her with pleading eyes. “It’s my middle name.”

She shrugged. “So, it was a half-lie, but still a lie.” She shook her head as all the anger she’d been feeling over the past few minutes finally came to a head. “Was it all a lie? Did I ever mean anything to you?”

Tony started to make a snarky remark, but Steve held out a hand to stop him. “Not now, Tony.” Looking back at YN, his shoulders slumped. “It wasn’t a lie—I swear. I never meant to get involved, but…”

“I made the first move,” she finished for him as she shook her head. “You tried to warn me, but I didn’t listen. I guess it’s my own fault.” She grabbed a rag and started toward the other end of the bar. “Don’t worry about saying goodbye—you’ve got more important things to do.”

This time Steve let her go.

“Damn, Rogers,” Tony said with a low whistle. “You sure know how to pick 'em.”

“Shut up, Tony,” Steve said as he downed the rest of his drink.

Tony laid a hand on Steve’s shoulder. “Look, take it from someone who’s been there—go fix things with the lady before you go. If you don’t, it’ll just weigh on your mind and I need you on your game for this one, buddy.”

Tony pulled out his wallet and left a crisp hundred dollar bill on the bar before patting Steve on the back and heading toward the car that had just pulled back up to the curb. Steve let out a deep breath and thought about Tony’s advice. Maybe he was right. Leaving things like this would be something he’d regret for a long time to come.

He walked around the bar and came up behind YN. Reaching out, he laid a hand on her arm. “YN.”

She turned to look at him, and he could see the redness in her eyes where she was trying not to cry. He hated that he’d hurt her. He should have told her the truth that first night, but would it have made this any easier?

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you the truth,” he said as he reached to cup her face. “I was an idiot not to trust you.”

“Would you have ever told me?” she asked as she stared into his eyes looking for answers she wasn’t sure she wanted to know.

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I want to say yes because you mean a lot to me.”

“I mean a lot to you?” she asked with a huff of indignation as she pulled away from him.

Knowing he was going to have to lay it all on the line, he ran a hand down his face and resigned himself to the inevitable. This wasn’t how he’d thought this conversation would go, but she deserved the truth—the whole truth.

“I love you, YN.”

Her back was to him, but his whispered words were just loud enough to have her stopping in her tracks. “Don’t lie to me. Not again.”

He walked over to her and turned her around to face him. “Look at me. I wouldn’t lie about that. I love you, and I’m pretty sure you love me, too.”

She tilted her head back and closed her eyes. “So what if I do? That doesn’t change the fact that you’re leaving.”

“Maybe not,” he said. “But it gives me a reason to come back.”

She opened her eyes and found him looking at her with hope-filled eyes. She’d fallen in love with those eyes, and she’d never thought she’d see the day where those feelings would be returned—but here they were.

“You can’t promise that.”

“I can promise to do my best,” he said as he pulled her into his embrace. “Knowing that you’ll be here waiting for me will give me that much more reason to win this fight.”

“I came here to get away from superheroes and their fights,” she said with a laugh as she lay her head on his shoulder. “It’s just my luck that I’d go and fall in love with one.”

Steve’s heart swelled at her admission. “Yeah, life’s funny like that.”

She looked up and met his eye. “You’ll be careful?”

“I can’t let down my best girl, now can I?”

She framed his face with her hands as they met one another halfway. The kiss was full of sadness and regret, but she’d take what she could get at that point.

“I’ve gotta go,” he said as he pulled away.

“Until we meet again.”

He gave her a sad smile. “Until we meet again.”

___________________

YN thought about Steve’s promise to come back to her as she watched one of her regulars turn to dust before her eyes. She had no idea what was happening, but she knew it wasn’t good. Whatever battle he’d been fighting must not have gone well. Her breath caught in her throat as she saw her hand start to dematerialize in front of her. It seemed as though she wouldn’t be keeping her promise to be there waiting for him after all. As she began to fade away, she closed her eyes and whispered, “I love you, Steve.”

[panelshowsource]

a note about women’s month 💘

thank you to everyone who voted in the fave female panelists poll this year! last year was a blast and this year was even better! we’ve seen more woman on tv this year — and some improved, though grossly insufficient, diversity within that — and i love celebrating that with you everyday!

last year, i wrote this:

the lack of diversity in british comedy is an alarming issue that has only recently become headline news. statistics presented by this study, based on 50 years of panel shows and over 4,700 individual episodes, are beyond disappointing for women (here is an easy-to-read graph by series & by year); similar disappointment stems from the lineups at popular comedy festivals, like edinburgh. in 2014, the head of tv at the bbc promised to end all-male comedy shows, a “step in the right direction” that hasn’t been without fear of tokenism, fair criticism as well as some naysayers. women, people of colour, lgbt peoples, those differently-abled and those all of the above and in between are just as funny as cis-identifying white men and deserve a place on our screens. watch their standup, buy their books, stream their videos, listen to their podcasts, comment on and like their content, follow their social media. this support can directly help women become more visible in british comedy.

in the last year, have you been actively conscious of supporting women in comedy? i’d like to take a moment to talk about some ways you can do that :)

➡ from feminist discourse to tales of humans & their dogs to ghost stories, these women are providing some of the most touching, stimulating, and funny reading coming out of comedy:

How to be Champion: My Autobiography by Sarah Millican

Animal: The Autobiography of a Female Body by Sara Pascoe

The Guilty Feminist: From our noble goals to our worst hypocrisies by Deborah Frances-White

The Actual One: How I Tried, and Failed, to Avoid Adulthood Forever by Isy Suttie

Cheer Up Love: Adventures in Depression with the Crab of Hate by Susan Calman

The More You Ignore Me by Jo Brand

Can't Stand Up for Sitting Down: A Memoir by Jo Brand

Look Back in Hunger: The Autobiography by Jo Brand

Born Lippy: How to Do Female by Jo Brand

Is It Just Me? by Miranda Hart

Peggy & Me by Miranda Hart

Nina Is Not OK by Shappi Khorsandi

A Beginner's Guide to Acting English: A Memoir by Shappi Khorsandi

Spectacles: A Memoir by Sue Perkins

East of Croydon: Blunderings through India and South East Asia by Sue Perkins

Once More, with Feeling: How We Tried to Make the Greatest Porn Film Ever by Victoria Coren Mitchell and Charlie Skelton

For Richer, For Poorer: A Love Affair with Poker by Victoria Coren Mitchell

Dead Funny: Horror Stories by Comedians featuring Sara Pascoe, Katy Brand, and Danielle Ward

...and that’s just to name a handful! my fingers would need a 5 min power nap if i tried typing out all of susie dent’s books 💪

➡ this is a list of a lot relevant active podcasts coming out of britain right now (though it is missing, most notably, off menu). for example, if you liked alice levine on taskmaster, why not listen to her podcast? or watch/listen her on rhlstp? this is such a fun way to get more deeply involved in the comedy of some of your favourite ladies! might i recommend isy suttie’s the things we do for love, anneka harry’s brown bread, or box set go! with nicola stephenson (the newest ep features rebecca front!)? most of these are free, or they can be found/requested at /r/notapanelshow p.s. suzi ruffell, rosie jones, tiff stevenson and more are scheduled to appear on rhlstp this season 😍

➡ here is a list of some radio programmes currently on the air. while it does look stacked with men (because it is), women do feature on so many of these series and absolutely smash it! did you know sandi toksvig hosted the news quiz for almost ten years, and its regular panelists include susan calman, rebecca front, zoe lyons, and more? or that victoria coren mitchell has hosted heresy since 2006 (because there’s nothing she can’t do)? or that sarah millican, jo brand, and sally phillips have each hosted series of the museum of curiosity? these are all on the masterpost! 👏 p.s. you can always search for and/or request more radio shows at /r/panelshow or, if they’re not panel radio shows, /r/notapanelshow :)

➡ social 👏 media 👏 determines 👏 relevancy 👏 do i agree with this system? no. is this the system entertainers are currently slaves to? yes. do you follow your favourite women on twitter, instagram, youtube, etc? one click. one like. one retweet. one reblog. here is a list of some of the comedians i follow on twitter to get you started — all of your faves are on there! when you like something they are on, tweet about it! tag them, the network, the channel, use the hashtags, post pictures! tell channels like dave or people like richard osman who your faves are, who deserves more exposure, who you want to see in the future! we’re already obsessing over how much we like these ladies anyways, so why not make that obsession even more visibile?

➡ we have a really sweet, modest community here of at least 10,000 people. this is not something i’ve ever talked about because i don’t want what i’m going to say to be misconstrued as begging for notes — that is not my concern. but you may have heard people on this site talk about something called the like/reblog ratio. a lot of creators are concerned that, apart from tumblr’s ever-evolving ludicrous algorithms murdering their visibility, people are so obsessed with their blog aesthetics that they’re not actually reblogging everything they like. here’s a couple of my gifset details, one from a nicher post and one from a more popular post:

while i appreciate any notes, numbers likes these aren’t always encouraging. i’m not here to tell you how to enjoy your spare time and interests, or to criticise people who enjoy aesthetic. i just want to point out that if you want someone to be successful, you play a direct part in promoting them and spreading their art. as the years pass, this becomes more and more true. i know how much you all love these ladies — i get messages about them every single day — but it’s a simple fact that a gifset of james acaster or noel fielding or richard ayoade or david mitchell is going to get more notes than a post about any of the women who placed in the top 5 of this poll. i am not bringing this up to this make anyone feel guilty about what they enjoy; i only hope my mentioning this encourages you to be conscientious when participating on social media, especially when your interest lies in the products of a grossly unjust industry that is taking a lot fucking time to get itself on the right track. more followers on a comedian’s twitter = more work for that comedian, because that’s simply the direction the film & tv industry is going. if your follow yields that much power, why not use it for good?

please support women. if you buy one of their books, please message me and tell me which one! if you think one of them is shining on a radio programme and we’re sleeping on her, please let me know (timestamps appreciated!)! if one starts a gofundme or patreon to start a podcast or a tour, please donate 50p and then send me the link! there is always more we can be doing and we are always underestimating what even smallest amount of support means for their bigger picture. i don’t have all the answers, but i love the feeling i get when i believe society is evolving in the right direction. rose matafeo won the edinburgh comedy award in 2018, and sarah keyworth and kiri pritchard-mclean took the top awards at the 2019 chortle awards. women are here to stay and they’re fucking killing it. because duh ❣️

if you took the time to read this, i appreciate you x

[hu-meow]

Gentleman Jack 1x03

Alright so I had meant to get back to this sooner, but things happen and were we are. I also realize there are a few others that have done similar to this, and they have amazing and far more intellectual and elegant and analytical words for this type of thing. Mine is far more, uh, "I like this because of blah blah blah." Anyway...

1) Fresh from the Lake District, our Ann(e)s find themselves in some lovely conversation only to be interrupted by some Rawson relations. Ann would much rather in with Anne, alone, and it is very clear when she answers Mrs Rawson. "Oh, Miss Lister, you're here. We can leave..." Ann "Oh, if you'd like" HA. Bye bitch, don't let the door hit you on the way out. But alas, they stay. And then Anne flirts, in front of her mother and Ann with Miss Rawson. Ann does this little eyebrow raise, almost like she's thinking over what Anne says, so cute. And originally I was burnt to hell about there being no show of the Lake District trip, but after reading the companion book, Anne didn't go/meet up with Ann there, so I guess that makes sense. But still. Seeing Ann light up would have been very swoon worthy.

2) I keep forgetting to mention how much I love the intro. I never skip it, even after watching it as many times as I have. The only other opening I never skipped was GoT. So. Good job on that one, music/sound team.

3) I don't know French, but Elizabeth Cordingley's complete butcher of it still cracks me up. Any French speakers reading this? Does she even make sense? Is she understandable at all?

4) This little sneaky walk to the "shed" is cute. Obviously Anne has planned it, but Ann is oblivious. And Ann talking about the Ainsworth's. It's like she's hoping Anne will approve of putting them off. At first, we just assume it's because Ann just wants to travel with Anne. But of course, later we realize (at least how I took it) that Ann would rather Mr. Asshole not be anywhere near her. Man, the way the writing sets up everything is just too perfect. Anyway...Ann's (Sophie's) delighted face when she sees the chaumiere! So adorkable. How can you not fall in love with her? Anne totally is, that's for sure lol We get our first two lip licks here (07:12 and 07:54) with Ann being nervous but trying not to be. Suppose it's more anticipation. But she was ready for that damn kiss. She even leaned in, but of course, Anne knows how to draw out that moment, and it makes it even more satisfying. And then the little tongue thing after from Ann. (9:34) It just slays me.

5) A quick "thank you James" and then an up against the door kiss. HNNG. And "...stay all night." GURL. Talk about the Thirst. Went from first kiss to that in .002 seconds. LOVE. IT. It even throws Anne off. And she plans her conquests out. But you can tell Ann was moving FAR quicker than she'd anticipated. It's like Anne didn't even have to try. lol She has to court so hard with these other women, and then here goes little Miss Ann Walker, all but throwing herself at Anne LOL def wife material.

(this is really long, so I’m drop this here)

6) I love spaztastic Marian. I think I love it most because her character was so different in GoT. Much more like Anne's. And here she's so NOT that lol. Emma plays the part so well. Everyone does. God I love this show. The spat at the table was great, with Marian being Marian and Anne trying not to smile through it all. Such perfect sibling dynamic.

7) Captain Lister about to spill the tea and Anne walks in and is like "we don't fight" LOL then continues to lay the verbal smack down to Jeramiah, like "did I fucking stutter with my price?" Anne def has the biggest balls of them all.

8) "Will you tell Calligula" LMAO just great little line. And random, but why doesn't Marian sport the weird little curls at her ears like everyone else does? I think she had them like, once, in ep 1? and that's been it. Just curious about that.

9) Ann asks Anne a few times "are you all right" and of course, Anne's answer to everyone else is always "I'm always all right." but I'm almost certain, Anne always answers Ann with some type of explanation. (there is the 'nothing' before Ann goes to Scotland, but more of that when we get to that episode, and she does still answer. MY HEART). But from what I can remember, Anne doesn't front with Ann that she's "all right". She gives her something, she's open. She's still trying to be strong, but she allows that softness too. Which brings me to probably one of my most favorite kisses of theirs. Its just so slow, and tender, and it's almost a side kiss, and just idk. It's very beautiful. ALSO I noticed this time, that after the kiss, both of their hands are on the back of the chair, and their fingers/pinkies are touching (29:50) It's brief and you almost miss it, but damn. I need that giffed. gif'd? gif'ed? as a gif. It's just too precious. They cant kiss more because of where they are and Anne is about to leave, but their hands are hidden and they just need that little bit more of contact and its just HNNG.

10) I love Aunt Anne. She's just a treasure and she love Anne so much and wants her to truly be happy. And I totally want to start saying "off you pop" LOL

11) Okay, so even though the Ann(e)s have done a LOT together, it just feels like this dinner is their official first date. They both dress up, it's dinner, Ann is nervous again and she's rambling and it's so adorkable and Anne thinks so too and just smiles as she waits for Ann to get to her point. Then there's still some nervousness with after dinner tea, and Anne is like, well, first date done, time for the big one with a reassuring leg squeeze...and Ann gets to the very idea of it being a marriage on her own! Cue floored Anne once again. I swear every time Ann surprises Anne, she falls more in love with her little Miss Walker. Ann is doing the lip lick think (38:59) and omg the way she says, and especially her face for, "give birth" is just as great as the first time. That should be a gif too LOL

12) Fucking John Booth going to the wrong damn house! Come on dude, are you even paying attention to what/were your mistress goes?? Facepalm for days. I think that actually happened though, if I'm not mistaken (it's been a minute since I read the companion book, and I read it at like 3am, and slept since...but if not, whatevs.)

13) OMG the full blown make out! Complete with some grubbling!! I find it interesting though, that Ann has Anne stop, as it becomes "too much" yet she had been asking her to stay all night. I wonder if this is a nod to how indecisive Ann was, or if she just didn't quite understand how overly emotional the physical stuff would make her. Either way, we end up with FIVE (5) nervous lip licks here, folks. It was a hard scene to not blink through, and lots of 10 sec rewinds to catch it all (42:13, 42:37, 42:44, 42:46, and a half one but I count it anyway at 43:00. I think I got those times correct, anyway. Just watch the whole scene, really.) And then we end it was Anne's 4th wall break and Ann asking what she's looking at LOL I know there's talk about wanting Ann to have some 4th wall breaks in season 2, and as much as I would love that as well, it's sorta almost a joke that everyone has it BUT Ann. So, even if she doesn't in s2, I won't be horribly disappointed, especially if Anne does it again and Ann asks again LOL

14) There were other things I had notes on, but I'm skipping because this is longer than the first two, and I hadn't planned that. Ah well...Back to the Ann(e)s....LOL of all the places, why is Ann on the floor? I mean, safety? Protection? Because shes just too fucking precious? I'd assume yes. But Anne is so confused and ready to fuck someone up and then once Ann tells her, the look on Anne's face as she goes from worry to relief is just amazing. Suranne, you fucking goddess. And then all the comfort Anne gives Ann as the poor girl just cries and doesn't think she's good enough. And again, I think this is a bit because of Mr. Fucktard, pressing and getting what he wants no matter what, where as Anne stepped back and made Ann comfortable. I swear Ann doesn't know what it's like to be put first, that her concerns are heard and understood and valued. Everyone just pushes their opinion or wants on her, and she's just had to go with it over th years. She just doesn't even know how to react to Anne and her attentiveness. It's so refreshing for Ann, even if she doesn't fully understand it. And also, because Ann was a wreck, three more lip licks, shit four! (50:59, 51:14, 51:20, 51:44)

15) Fucking Mrs SneakAss Priestly. She can't just leave well enough alone. So bored she's gotta fuck with Ann's happiness. We're having some hella good grubbling, the first fucking "I love you" and this old biddy has to ruin the parade. Anne was hella quick to jump up though. Almost like she's done that before (even though, she totally hasn't, amiright LOL) Ann(e)s just standing there after Mrs P leaves, and omg lol Anne has this "well fuck, how do we turn this around" look, like her brain is really whirling and hoping Ann doesn't freak out, mean while Ann just loses her shit and busts out laughing. So great that happened for real, too. Ann Walker, you are fantastic. "do you want to go upstairs?" because, hello, someone has blue balls at this point. But it's so cute once they get up to Ann's room and the scene nearly ends with her lip lick (58:23). But those stares, like yeah, we're totally in this together now....

AH OKAY. FucKIng LONG. I'm sorry! I even cut some things, so if you made this far, thank you! This was a really good episode, really kicks off their momentum and is sorta the calm before the storm. Oh, I also started to take note of the dresses Ann wears, cuz I swear she only wears like five. so far I have: That Blue Dress, the pink/purple plaid (first kiss), the pink with the sheer puff sleeves (that's what she's wearing in my fave kiss), the pink with some design (flowers?) for the "date", and a pink/purple color she's wearing at the end. So, that is five, and I'll have to see what else she wears, if any (yes shes wearing something else in Scotland, and no, night clothes don't exactly count. though her with her side braid and yellow corset and bloomers is my fave in the whole series...more of that later.)

Counts:

*Anne 4th wall breaks (ep): 3

**Total: 11

*Ann's lip licks (ep): 13!

**Total: 19

(there was a lot this ep, so I'm not going to list them here. And there was a fair amount of lip presses, which are def honourable mentions and worth watching...)