#i need her so bad rn actually
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Thank you, Mr Krabs.
#detroit become human#hank anderson#gavin reed#i just needed some hank practice doodles in before i actually tried to draw the thing i want to draw with him#bonus gavin because i can i guess and i felt bad that i left off the stubble in my other art sorry gavin#idk i dont think im strong enough to recover ever since i was telling someone one of hanks lines and her response#was about mr krabs and im like wait a flipping second..... ur right..... i.... oh#cause i havent heard him in so long it registered as familiar but im not used to the cussing and i straight up only ever watch one movie#so i dont think ive seen him in anything#im judging my own film intake rn you dont have to do that its fine i know its a flaw to only watch clue (1985)
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saw a post in the corporate clash tag that caused me to black out and make this
#toontown#corporate clash#ttcc#misty monsoon#rainmaker#misty is not even remotely closed to being a character like vriska but the discourse surrounding her is exactly the same n its crazy#misty is a rly fun character that is done dirty by the uninteresting format of toontasks inherented from toontown online#she has so much potential tbh but we just don't have enough content of her in game to rly matter#as far it is rn she's just a very awkwardly placed plot point cuz you dont rly know how to actually feel about her#barnacle bessie tried to rip her to shreds and its you're almost made to feel bad for misty cuz of it#but like she's still actively involved in a mega corporation trying to take over and pollute bessie's home#how can u blame her for that reaction#basically all im sayin is that misty could be so good but rn she's confined to a singular kinda awkward fight at the end of BB kudos#so maybe in the future she'll be a rly good part of the plotline of clash who knows#idk why i felt the need to rant in the tags sorry my autism
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Bluepoch gave us the gift of barely-subtext tragic sapphic-centric media do NOT throw that away.
Context regarding PJSK and Undertale under cut.
Project Sekai cast is dominated by female characters but mlm is more popular, meanwhile Undertale has canon wlw rep and oh my god they’re at the bottom. I have nothing against these fandoms or media (I’m literally currently/was in them) but yeah. I just HOPE r99 doesn’t end up in a similar state.
#mochagaming#if r99 ever gets even more popular and people somehow manage to out-yaoi the yuri i may actually buy a gun#‘write more yuri then’ I AM <3 AND LETS KEEP WRITING YURI R99 NATION#this is an irrational fear btw#especially since the fandoms i previously in kept fixating on the men in women-centric media#which is not bad#good for them#but its alienating for me LOL#thankfully rn r99 fandom is still diligent woman appreciators so thanks guys#keep it up#I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST MEN OR MLM#I JUST REALLY NEED THAT SAPPHIC SPOTLIGHT#LET THIS DESPERATE LESBIAN DREAM THAT HER FAV GAME STAYS YURIFUL#(because fandom activity genuinely affects the game itself so…)#reverse 1999#I am not trying to discourage any form of fandom content#But if I see someone complain about ‘lack of men’ in this game I… I genuinely dont know??? what to say???#we dont even have enough lesbian rep. it is always cast aside.#it should be prioritized (by bluepoch) i think#like to charge reblog to cast
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Assorted Regretevator doodles! All in one!
#Regretevator#Regretevator fanart#roblox#regretevator infected#regretevator melonie#regretevator bive#im too lazy to tag the homies I didn't do coloured doodles for JHKBGJHFBDGD#I love Melonie I hope nothing bad happens to her :')#AAAAAAAAAAA#I kinda like love my design for Infected rn#its a lot based of time woods design ngl so I'm gonna change some things with mainly the beanie#love drawing the like actual infection on his skin#I need to do a full bit of art for them all#my art#glitzybunny
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#hi im j here 2 talk . saw this cow yday so i drew her and now u get 2 say hi#but omffgg my gd i dont know if any of u relate but i feel like my ability to socialize w others#specifically online and speciifically in interest-circles has gotten so much harder for no reason whatsoever#like im just becoming more self conscious ab how i portray myself and its so weird bc like . LIKEE I DONT KNOW like . ok#people r super njce . always super nice and reach out to me and talk w me or i reach out first and they respond and r soo sweet#and something happens in my brain where like . i feel like im suddenly like . inserting myself where i dont belong (not true) but why am i#the bus driver all of a sudden . in all of these situations . me when i just show up like hey#i think i j feel annoying >__< . and i dont want to bother other people but said people r literally never bothered ykwim like Will Reach Out#and im the one that pulls back but 4 no reason . i cant even think ab why i do that .why am i doing this 🧨#so many ppl i want to genuinely befriend in all of these spaces but im self sabotaging soo frwaking bad#literally rn thinking of some dms i left on read bc i panicked or mutuals ive talked w before who im nervous 2 be familiar w . hrmm#anyways . i kind of wish i had the ability 2 just talk to new people and not actually gaf ab the outcome#HELPP .. early tmblr or wcf or devart where u have thirty million friends 2 now where u r too scared 2 say hi to an almost friend .#me problem though . if not alr clear HEJAHHAAHA i think part of my reluctance also stems from the fact that i know i get this way#and so i dont want 2 rope someone else into that insecurity so i try to keep it at an arms length until i fix it#but i think i also know its a longer & more introspective thing to work on so i do need to just try anyways
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"Jason was the happy robin" this, "jason was the angry robin" that. Let's all be fully honest here Jason was the lonely robin
#It gets worse the more i think about it aiguaoughhh#they pretty much retconned the people he was close to before the crisis. he only interacts with dick like once or twice#ive never seen him with barbara#he had no team#in terms of school he had rena(?) and then 3 friends that show up in an annual and never again#and obviously with the whole secret identity it hardly can be a close friendship. esp with how little theyre shown#in terms of super friends he had Danny and Kid Devil. which. one is mentioned off hand and theyre never seen together#and the other is from a short story and never brought up again#alfred has his praises sung but we never really see him connect with jay#all he had was BRUCE. and the only way to ever be with bruce is to be robin#is it really any wonder he chased after his mother? is it any wonder who chose to trust someone he hardly knew?#dc liveblog#jason todd#i feel so bad for him all the time for forever#ive just started reading comics after his death but before his resurrection. the hallucination jason era#and its seems to be shaping up to be with him written as the angry robin who never listened#which i Know is because of the writers. but in universe? it just feels like jason wasnt understood or known at all#doylist vs watsonian moment as they say#dc comics#batman comics#and he became a symbol of failure to batman So Quickly. not a memory but a reminder#and every trophy from his time as robin was taken out of the batcave. and every moment as jason was removed from (at least) bruces room#he was on call/on a list as a backup titan if they needed help but he wasnt With them. they teamed up twice#i cant remember if he meant it towards blood specifically or in general rn but he fully admitted to not being good/experienced enough#they didn't really know him and he didn't really know them#wait fuck was rena all pre-crisis. devastating. he stopped going on patrols n being robin for awhile when she was his gf#of course by then he was already A Hero who cant fully ignore how he can help so he eventually was like yeah we should stop a little#obviously there was that catwoman arc going on and i feel writers just liked keeping him away alot. but ough. he was so quick to stop when#there was someone There. and robin didn't have ti feel like all he had#anyway crisis got rid of her im sure. like harvey. when does 'pre and post crisis' actually start bc its not at the crisis its issues after
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do yall see my vision?
#guess who has been reading the jeweler richard LN#im on volume 4 rn#anyway i always thought seigi's crush on tanimoto reminded me of watanuki and his feelings for himawari#i would also put them in the same category of 'hetero-bait' so to speak where they introduce a 'female love interest'#and then later establish her as not a romantic choice for the mc and then they're gay instead#its all subtext in xxxholic but man.......its just text in jeweler richard#also when reading volume 2 of JR i was like 'richard reminds me of someone.........' and then i realized its abeno#abeno haruitsuki is like if richard was in highschool and not the lord of sweets#i actually dont remember if ashiyan is that down bad for abeno but i know abeno is bad for him#hes still got that 'i cant leave you alone' energy especially halfway through when sakae starts showing up#seigi and ashiya have that in common too they both have daddy issues#should i have put that instead?#im too lazy to change it#i really need to reread fukimono i miss them so much#abeshiya is like an old friend to me#jeweler richard#nakata seigi#fukigen na mononokean#ashiya hanae#xxxholic#watanuki kimihiro
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god why am i so fucking stupid. having adhd is truly a curse and i hate bearing it
#not to vent on main but. fml actually!#in my health assessment lab we had this case study assignment to do and i freaking. misunderstood all of it so bad#idk why but for some reason i thought we were supposed to make up a patient ourselves for it#…we were not#no :) we were not :) there’s a freaking. TEMPLATE for the exact patient we were supposed to do it on in the module#that i opened once and then forgot about because adhd just works like that#and now im literally . kmsing because we fucking . we fucking presented these orally in class#and i was only half paying attention bc i was (incorrectly) documenting my (made-up) patient information on the record#and i thought it was weird that like 2 or 3 people seemed to have VERY similar patients but did not question it further#…which is to say. i may be stupid.#and now i feel like dying because im gonna have to email my professor and TELL HER how stupid i am#and hope that she takes enough pity on me and my cursed brain to let me do it over properly#because my lab grade is now barely a 77 and i need a 75 to pass. and our final assessment is tomorrow.#i genuinely cannot live like this anymore im serious#i need a fucking brain transplant#anyway tl;dr guys please pray for me please please please im actually disintegrating rn#to delete later
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"in the original myth medusa was a rape victim!" i'm literally banging my head against the wall
#you know there are ACTUAL rape victims in greek mythology you could be focusing on rn right???#but hey these people think persephone and hades are a romance so i dont think they actually care#“feminist” greek mythology retellings that are actually more misogynistic than the original myths i hate you sm#incase ur wondering i saw a stupid tiktok and all the comments were like “i feel so bad for her she's a such a victim” and just... ugh#tbh i feel like it's pretty weird that u aren't chill with medusa just being a monster but whateverrrr#if u want a sympathetic monster the minotaur is right there#also like... it just doesn't make any sense... if medusa used to be human explain her sisters#if athena was trying to protect her why did she help perseus kill her#this also kinda goes into the whole phenomenon of thinking “men” in historical contexts means men and not humans#like artemis isn't textually a lesbian#(altho i dont actually care if u hc artemis as a lesbian i just think we need to keep historical context in mind when interpreting myth)#greek mythology#medusa#milowing
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mum found out I quit my job and now she's panicking from her hospital bed.
#even tho ive been unemployed since August she thinks i just quit. i think of i tell her its been a while and ive been#looking after her basically as soon as i quit she'll maybe calm down#i only ended up telling her because my money is running dry because i spent it all looking after her and checking up on her#when i wasnt supposed to. and she needs to know that im running out of money 😭#but now i feel like the situation is worse. she keeps telling me to call my old job and ask them to take me back#but id rather find another job than go back there it got so bad i genuinely thought I'd die at that place#im not built for customer service + its not worth travelling 4 hrs a day for minimum wage#shes worried about my bills but ive actually been able to pay my bills since i quit 😭 because i saved#so much money up. when i was working i could've save because i had to spend half of it on transport costs and i could barely pay my bills#my mum thinks suffering is important like its supposed to happen so im not surprised she thinks this but now i feel like#i cant even see her because she'll spend the entire visit telling me to go back to my old job#even tho i told her I've been looking for work (which i have). i was when i was still working and i still am now. im just not having the#best luck rn
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need to start ocposting. Ooohhh u wanna know about blorbos from my mind palace soo bad
#i need to yap ab the syzygy (game im making) chars so bad guys theyre so important to mee😞#my beloved weird chronically online gaggle of teenagers:) Theyre freaks and i want only the best for them#im working on their designs rn...mwahahhah... well i have their designs i mean like their outfits. im not a fashion savvy guy so im-#struggling picking what to make em wear yk.. andalso theyre not all super developed (im tryna flesh out 2 of then specifically rn) so.#but. i want to. show them off. My children that i forged feom my brain like im riordanverse athena<2#once i finish their designs ill start posting ab them bcI LOVE THEM SM ok. im 3/5 way done for the main character protags#(i still havent designed the main villain but. we dont need to talk abojt her 😛.)#cam.txt#Sometimes u must be a freak about your own creations godbless. actually u must Always do this. my final message#btw i have a pinterest board of them all w sections for each character and their dynamics etc... Smiles widely. at u.
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hey cuties in my phone. i just want you to know i love you very much and life is so fucking hard but so worth living and if it’s dark for you rn just know i am rooting for you and i hope things get easier <3.
#i just want u to know that if u think no one cares i do!!!!!#on a little break but I’ll be back to it soon just need to process everything#tw death#also warning for mention of suic*de if you continue in these tags i just need to vent#i love u all dw im ok<3#it never gets easier when someone i know my age passes away. Especially when they take their life.#i grew up in a bad area a lot of us had bad lives and I’ve lost ppl before. but this one hurts a lot. so much actually.#we were both in the psych ward together as teens and exchanged facebooks to stay friends. she understood me on a level very few ever could#she had a tattoo inspired by a memory of us. we shared something I’ve never found with anyone else. and now she is gone.#i always hoped life would get easier for her. why doesn’t it get easier for such good people? questions my brain can’t comprehend#i hope she’s found the peace she was so cruelly denied here :/#I think i have cried until there are no more tears in my body rn#ramblings
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It's oc posting time
Rue has vivid revenge fantasies. Extremely violent ones about the many ways they'd kill Nox if they ever got their paws on him. Crushing his exoskeleton under their bare paws, tearing him apart limb for limb, ripping his guts out and eating his heart while he's still alive- you name it, they've probably thought about it
These thoughts *terrify* her. It proves what Nox has always told her right, that she is a hopeless, violent, uncontrollable *monster*. That the reason she became a beast in the first place is because she is truly evil at heart, just like him
(In actuality, it's just a symptom of their PTSD, but going to therapy and actually unpacking all of that isn't an option to them. They'd rather die than actually talk abt their struggles)
So the thoughts fester in her mind for years. She thinks about it daily. It becomes like an obsession. An impulse. A need. And she begins to think that the only way to free herself from that torment is to do it. To kill him. Even if it proves Nox right
Even if it proves *her* right
So they hunt him down, trying to kill him every time they encounter each other. And every time, Nox gets away, and he taunts them. And the thoughts, the want, the *hunger* for vengeance grows stronger
The cycle continues. The thoughts never cease. She never finds peace
(At least, she *thinks* she will never find peace, but she does. Eventually. After Nox dies from his own hubris lol)
#ramblings#oc posting#rue the wolfdog#nox the spider#lmk if this needs any tags for anything. jic#also um spoilers for the story i'll probably never write ig. nox dies eventually lol#fucker gets squashed like a bug <3#he basically doomed himself tho. rue doesn't get to kill him#it makes them feel a lot better actually#like they didn't HAVE to kill. like they can just forget about his pathetic ass and simply LIVE#this isn't to say revenge is bad always. her anger was very much justified#but it was also tearing her apart. it was bad FOR HER. in the end what she needed the most was to be able to move on#and nox fucking himself over and dying is the perfect opportunity to just let go. to not dirty her paws with him any further#she doesn't have to concern herself with him because he was dead the moment he chose the path of world destruction#there's also the fact that they have support from specter and phantom as well as sonic and tails#so they didn't have to face this alone anymore#i hope my thoughts are cohesive enough lol i'm very tired rn
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IM STILL THINKING ABOUT THE KITTEN
#im trying to work on ppu so much rn but literally EVERY TIME I TRY TO DO SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE#MY BRAIN IS LIKE#DUDE YOU WANT THAT CAT SO BAD#AND THN I START CRYING JSDFJSDF#text post#I DONT NEED 4 CATS. BUT I WANT 4 CATS. DO YOU UNDERSTANd?#technically one of the cats in my house isn't mine. she is my brothers but he cant have cats where he lives so i care for her#BUT SHES NOT VERY FOND OF ME#is it so bad that i want a cat that will actually cuddle me!!!#inky is not a lap cat. he is just a 'pet me now and then' cat#and dash is very selective about when its cuddle time#and when he DOES cuddle it's for a very short period of time#I JUST WANT A LITTLE BABY THAT WNATS TO CUDDLE ME OKAYY????#SHE WAS SOOOOOOOOOO CUDDLYYY
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wnna suck off my big sister sooooooo bad its a problem. i need to put her girlcock in my mouth and i need her pushing my head into her bush so its all i smell hhhhnngh .... need her to use her little sisters mouth for pleasure and cum down my throat and make fun of me for swallowing my sister's load 💔
#i need her so bad rn its actually a problem.#little sister with insatiable lust x big sister who cant tell her no ❤️
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omw to play emotional support for my mom disguised as ✨fun family bonding time✨ for the rest of the week <3333 there's something so deeply wrong with me uwu teehee
#and i still havent texted my friend back even tho she texted me a week ago and i told her ill text her back this week when i have the time#and i DO have the time. im just fucked in the head and the prospect of having a conversation with another person where i again#have to pretend im not at the very brink of a serious mental and emotional breakdown. is making me lose my fucking mind#ik she's having a bad time rn and she needs the reassurance and jesus fucking christ i tried i had two long conversations with her#that were allllll about her. only her. not a single word about me. that's fine. this is what people need in such moments right#to just get patted on the head and hugged and told their suffering is real and what happened to them is unfair and just made to feel#that for a moment they're the centre of attention and it is all about them. this is normal. this is why therapy exists.#so i try to give this to her but it is fucking draining. and i NEVER get the same treatment back. like she caught me crying at uni last week#and like yes she'll say some nice things but she'll always find a way to turn the conversation back on the topic of ✨her✨#like we started talking about my therapy and i finally got to actually say a word or two about what im dealing with. but then she goes#'yeah im just trying to figure out what's wrong with me when i listen to you haha like i could never cut myself cause it looks ugly.#ofc it doesnt look ugly on you haha but i could never lol'#like thanks haha good to know ill just shut up then and steer the conversation back onto you why dont i. i mean its not like#i spent over an hour a few days back sitting with you and listening to your talk about your childhood and validating you and not saying#a word a single fucking word about myself even tho i was also going through it myself but who cares right. and now im the bad guy again#because im not texting back.#i feel like im finally fucking snapping cause at this point im properly fucking angry. IM having a bad time too. IM going through it too.#I have bad coping skills and had a fucked up childhood and traumas in my life TOO and im allowed to just not be able to handle it#i really wanna break something lol maybe therapy's working after all lmao#oh also this is why i dont eat breakfast. i do it once and then feel guilty and suicidal lol normal behaviour#pojebie mnie zaraz przysięgam na boga mam dość kurwa BASTA
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