#i need a tag for my oc talk about ideas/unnamed ones

[chempack]

still thinking about my pre-war conservationist sole idea. i mean, fallout characters that are interested in preserving pre-war things certainly isn’t new; i can’t remember any canon ones right now but there probably are some, and someone i follow, @/datura-tea, recently made some art conservator ocs. but specifically the idea of a sole survivor, someone from before the war and with personal attachments to the institute, being focused on it is interesting to me. especially when it comes to animals themselves. taking over settlements and trapping animals there, breeding the least outwardly mutated ones together, trying to recreate how nature intended them to be. playing god with irradiated animals while shaun plays god with robotic humans.

[library-ghoulette]

Under the Spell - Chapter 2/?

Pairing: Mary Goore x f!OC

Rating: Mature (mostly for language, SFW, later chapters will be NSFW)

Tags: first person POV, unnamed Sister of Sin OC, he/they Mary Goore, slowburn, banter, jealousy, stressed out overachiever, if I don't admit that I'm attracted to you then it's not really happening

Words: 1704

Summary: Mary Goore is spending the summer at the Abbey to assist with the Ghost Project when one of the Sisters of Sin catches his eye. Can they find love--or even just a place to hook up--under the wrathful gaze of Sister Imperator? (chapter one)

A/N: Sorry not sorry ghesties, but I love a slowburn. And making them fight! It's their foreplay, I promise.

ao3 link

divider by @gothdaddyissues

I spend the next week haunted by Mary Goore. They don’t appear again at the courtyard bench where I take my furtive stress-smoking breaks–not that I hope they will–but that seems like the only place in the Abbey unmarked by their presence.

Everywhere else? They seem to follow like a song I hate but can’t get out of my head. They brush past me in the hall on my way to class. They’re leaving Sister Imperator’s office right when I need to talk to her about something. They even sit on the far end of my pew during mass–which I’m sure they only attend to annoy me–leaning forward across the other worshippers to catch my eye and wave.

They talk too loudly, and they laugh too much, and I have no idea how they’re managing to get any work done for the Ghost Project when they never seem to be in the music room. Why would they do any work, when they could be following me? 

Or when he could be sitting across from me in the dining hall, surrounded by a gaggle of Sisters, all of whom are looking up at him with bright smiles, playing with their hair and giggling at remarks that I’m certain couldn’t have been that fucking funny, touching his arm and–

My roommate nearly shouts my name from across the table, and I snap my attention back to her. 

“I’m sorry, what?”

She sighs. “I was saying, that’s so annoying.”

“What is?” I realize that I’ve lost the thread of our conversation so thoroughly that she could be talking about anything from being put on extra cleaning duty to the cafeteria not having the good french fries today, and I have no idea which. 

She flaps a hand Mary’s direction. I look over just long enough for them to catch my eye and give me a wink before I turn away again. 

“See, that’s what I’m talking about. He acts like he owns the place, and everyone falls all over themselves trying to get his attention.” She adjusts the clip holding back her profusion of dark curls and says something that I don’t quite catch, because there’s another wave of giggles from Mary’s table and I look over to see him stretching his arms over his head, the hem of his shirt rising just enough to reveal a sliver of pale skin right above his studded belt–

“Huh?” I ask, when my roommate reaches out to poke my hand.

“I said, I’m glad you’re not taking part in all that nonsense.”

“Oh. Yeah, I uh… I don’t really see the appeal.”

She gives me a suspicious look, eyes narrowing and lips twisting to the side in an expression that I know too well. “You’ve been so spacey lately.”

“Yeah, I know.” I drop my eyes to my plate, dragging my fork through the remnants of my salad. “I’m just kind of stressed out about my classes and everything.”

“Well, if you want to do some extra studying together, let me know,” she says. “The summer is going to be over before we know it, and if you want Sister Imperator to approve you to take your vows this fall–”

“Yeah, that would probably be good,” I cut her off, before she can fully launch into yet another reminder of why I’m spending my summer studying instead of… whatever it is that fun people do with their summers. “I’m free tomorrow after–oh shit, what time is it?”

She checks her watch. “Uh, 1:30?”

I swear under my breath, a litany of shitshitshit as I gather my things. “I’m half an hour late for my library shift.”

“Go on,” she says, stopping me as I toss my trash onto my tray. “I’ve got this.”

I might feel annoyed with myself for eliciting the look of concerned pity she gives me, if I had the time to spare. As it is, I almost sprint out the door and across the Abbey to the library.

I stash my bag in the librarian’s office with my apologies, shrug on my cardigan to ward off the air-conditioned chill, and collect a cart of books ready to be returned to their shelves.

I love my shifts in the Ministry library, hours when  I can disappear into soothing work, cushioned by the susurrus of research happening all around me, the turning of pages and the tapping keys forming the perfect backdrop for my thoughts. 

I’m looking forward to resuming the comfort of my usual routine, to clearing my mind and maybe passively mulling over Secondo’s notes on my most recent Latin translation. But when I locate the correct range and turn down the aisle, an all-too-familiar disheveled head peeks around the next shelf, stopping me short.

“What are you doing here?” I hiss.

“Research?” Mary offers.

“Nice try, but try again.”

“Okay, fine. I saw you giving me the eye back there in the cafeteria. Thought you might want some company.”

“You followed me?” I can already feel that tell-tale blush that I hate creeping up out of my collar and across the face, the one that makes people confuse pissed off for something else.

Mary grimaces as they approach. “Followed makes it sound creepy.”

“It is”--my words come out louder than I intend, and I catch myself, because they are not going to bait me into making a scene in the middle of the library--”it is creepy. Go away.”

Of course, he doesn’t go away. 

“Are you trying to deny a humble seeker of knowledge the opportunity to improve their mind and grow in their dark faith?” he asks, voice dripping affronted piety as he plucks a book from the shelf at random. 

“Fine,” I sigh. “But be quiet. And don’t bother me.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” They lean against the shelf and flip the book open with an exaggerated motion that makes me cringe for the poor book’s spine. I try to go back to my work, but I can feel their eyes on me, and it can’t be more than a minute before they’re talking again.

“Did you know that weird Cardinal has, like, a whole stash of antique porn hidden in here somewhere?” Mary asks, snaping the book shut, voice getting progressively louder. “I hear it’s the really weird stuff!”

I hear a grumble from one of the nearby study carrels as someone shoots us a glare, and I shush Mary with a light slap on the arm with the book I’m holding.

“Shut up. And go away.” I turn to shelve the book in my hand. “I’m trying to work.”

Mary doesn’t leave, just cocks their head at me mischievously and rubs the spot where I hit them, right over the devil inked into their skin. “Sure, I’ll go away. If you come meet me tonight.”

The retort is poised on the tip of my tongue, but to my surprise, what comes out of my mouth is, “Meet you? Where?”

“The cemetery.”

I shake my head. “No.”

“It’ll be fun.”

“No, Goore.”

“Ugh! So impersonal!” He clasps a hand over his heart, wounded. “Don’t you think we’re on a first-name basis, babe?”

“No. And I’ve told you not to call me that.”

I start to wheel the book cart away, rolling down the aisle to the next range of books I have to shelve, finished with this conversation. But Mary’s hand shoots out, grabbing me gently around my upper arm, their calloused touch setting off sparks inside me, sparks that I refuse to label as anything other than anger.

I’m about to say something scathing, but they lean close, and the openness of their expression stays my tongue.

“I’m sorry,” they say. “I’m an asshole, I know. But seriously. The cemetery, midnight. We’ll have a little picnic, just you and me.” A lopsided grin. “It’ll be nice.”

I bite my lip, considering, looking down at their hand where it still rests on my arm. For whatever reason, I don’t shrug it off. And they don’t take it away.

Here is the part when I say no, I think. But what I say instead is, “Maybe.”

Mary smirks like he knows, just knows, that “maybe” really means “yes,” and it makes me want to take it back now to spite him. But I can see where the conversation goes next if I say no: the way he will relish teasing me for not having the guts while I get increasingly flushed and flustered, looking every bit the good girl being pestered by the bad boy who won’t leave her alone. Worse, looking like the good girl who doesn’t want the bad boy to leave her alone.

They’re leaning in close enough now that I can smell them: clinging smoke, the salty tang of sweat, and something spicy and earthy. There is a small voice inside of me that urges me to lean in closer, to breathe in more of that oddly intoxicating scent. That small voice assures me that if I just tilt my head up ever so slightly and close my eyes, then Mary will meet me halfway. 

Stupid. What would I want that for? He’s distracting, and annoying, and–

“Midnight,” he says again, breaking my train of thought and the inexplicable spell I had fallen under. “Don’t be late.”

I roll my eyes. “Maybe,” I say again.

“I’ll take maybe.” They squeeze my arm gently, briefly, before finally releasing me, having gotten what they wanted from me. 

I should let them go, should be relieved to be left alone, left to get back to the work I’m here to do. But for reasons unknown even to me, I say, “I’ve seen it, by the way.” 

It works: they turn back, intrigued. “Seen what?”

“Cardinal Copia’s porn collection.” Nonchalant, eyes cast down as I rearrange a misfiled book on my cart.

“No shit? Was it weird?”

I shrug, leveling him with a deliberate gaze. “I’ve seen weirder.”

And just for a moment, I’m rewarded with the rarest of occurrences: Mary Goore rendered speechless. 

And then one of those smiles that says I’ve won this round, while promising that there will be another.

“See you tonight, Sister.”

[foreverrandomwritings]

Controversially Young Girlfriend- Part 1

@sylviebell asks: A pride month celebration is such a good idea! I’ve got a headcanon request for you. I’ve seen several things about Rooster and Hangman with a controversially young girlfriend, but what are your thoughts on Phoenix with one?

(For some reason tumblr glitched and posted this yesterday so I deleted it and copied the ask from my google docs)

Pairing: Natasha "Phoenix" Trace x afab! unnamed OC type (CYG short for controversially young girlfriend because I was not typing that a bunch)

Warnings: Age gap and tooth rooting fluff.

Word count: 533

Masterlist M’s PMC Masterlist Series Masterlist

~ I absolutely love this idea.

~I think they'd have met in like sephora or ulta or something.

~Phoenix looked completely lost and this pretty young woman came wandering over to her.

~Asked her if she needed help with anything.

~Phoenix told her what she was having trouble with and the young woman helped her out quickly.

~Before walking away she turned to Phoenix handing over her phone.

~ “I think you're super attractive and would love to see you again sometime.”

~Phoenix was taken aback, she was used to men hitting on her but not women.

~Especially as cute and young as the one standing before her.

~She put her number in her phone and then they parted ways.

~They talked constantly after that.

~Literally talked about everything under the sun.

~When CYG told Phoenix how young she was, Phoenix was a tiny bit hesitant to pursue anything.

~CYG being like 19-21.

~Confided in Rooster who encouraged her to go for it.

~They exchanged snapchats and every time Phoenix would post a picture of her or of her and the guys, the CYG would be sliding up hyping her up.

~ Their first date consisted of coffee and thrift shopping.

~ They had a lot of fun and it was instant chemistry.

~There was barely a day after that they weren't together.

~It was a whirlwind of romance and they moved in together within months.

~CYG was constantly pulling Phoenix into tiktok trends.

~CYG having to explain new slang and trends to Phoenix.

~They got a cat together from a shelter and it is their little baby.

~CYG is a nanny and on her rare days off she goes and has lunch with Phoenix on base.

~One time she sees one of her friends dads there (Admiral Simpson) and it was a little awkward. (Will write this as a little blurb if anyone wants me to.)

~Also a college student majoring in Psychology.

~The family that CYG nannies for loves Phoenix and has approved of her coming over and spending time with CYG and the kids anytime she wants.

~Phoenix is so good with the kids and they love playing with her when she's over.

~CYG integrated into the Squad well.

~Got made fun of by Harvard and Yale for still being in college.

~Hangman was actually the first person she got along with.

~They became super close much to Phoenix's dismay.

~But he had defended their relationship and the fact that CYG was still in college.

~CYG's friends absolutely adore Phoenix and love the two of them together.

~Phoenix always feels out of touch with them though and normally just sits quietly confused.

~They occasionally got mistaken for siblings instead of girlfriends because of the age gap.

~Both of their families had questions and concerns over the relationship.

~Phoenix would occasionally get insecure that CYG wouldn't want to stay with her.

~CYG would reassure her constantly however and would never get upset with her insecurities.

~Would go to pride together and have the time of their lives.

~The first deployment was rough for the both of them. will be posting a oneshot of this soon)

~Overall they are both super head over heels for each other.

A/N: Thank you for this request Sylvia! I am completely fucking obsessed with this idea. No one better be surprised when I make a series around this. I also maybe already have the awkward Beau, CYG, Nat scene written up lol.

Tags(Open): @wkndwlff @eternallyvenus

@sillygooseses (you liked this yesterday when tumblr for some reason glitched out and posted it early)

[astorythatwritesitself]

Re-intro time? Re-intro time

About Me & This Blog:

• Paine. Queer, 30, any pronouns. I follow back from dr-paine; and you'll never guess what my AO3 username is.

• Writing for 20+ years in some capacity

• Genre of choice is Fantasy. (High, low, slice of life or ungodly horror, mixed with sci-fi or the most classic Medieval sword and sorcery bullshit, I just need a touch, even if only implied, of magic.) I don't delve much into NSFW but it may come up; in any case: please only follow if you're 18+, and treat this blog with the mindset of 'creator chose not to use archive warnings'.

• I crave interaction, especially via tag/ask games - seriously. I reblog a lot of them. Do Not Hesitate. (And I always try to send an ask if you reblog any from me!)

• Hobbyist writer - I'm not aiming to be published, but I do want to improve my skills and eventually like... 'win a NaNo' in the sense of writing a complete, longform story one of these days. But also having fun is a priority, and ADHD + work is a cruel mistress, so I'll jump between WIPs on a whim, or just. Drop shit for months on end lol.

Vague List of Active Projects

While I have a ton of ideas, these are the ones that actually have like... any sort of substance to them, whether it's actual words or just a solid outline + desire to work on it. Each will eventually get a dedicated links/resource post, but for now, here's the basics!

Relentless As The Tide

(Mass Effect fics (roughly) following canon events/characters)

Adrian Shepard has been primed for heroism her entire life. Her first chance ended in a tragedy, one neither she nor the Alliance has ever properly owned up to. Saren's betrayal and the beacon's vision offer her the chance to atone for her failure at Akuze, and she'll do everything in her power to do so - even (and especially) if it kills her in the process.

Or so she believes - but uncovering the truth means looking for allies, and the more she gathers, the harder it becomes to believe that her death should - or can - be the end; and that perhaps heroism is just a means of distraction from confronting her own demons.

Unnamed Pokemon Project

(Loose follow through/retelling of Pokemon: Soul Silver)

Giovanni Rossi, former leader of the Viridian City pokemon gym, has confessed to heading the infamous Rocket organization, whose poaching and illegal trade has devestated the Kanto ecosystem for the past twenty years. However, he claims it was all for a good cause - just prior to founding Rocket, Giovanni had been part of a team trying to create artificial pokemon... and their most viable subject escaped. Rocket existed for the sake of tracking down and eventually overpowering this creature, but now... well, he wishes those in the Kanto and Johto regions the best of luck.

Following a break in at the New Bark Town lab, an assistant to Professor Elm - a reclusive young man named Linden - tracks down the suspect, only to find it's none other than Silver Rossi, Giovanni's own son. The boy claims he wants to take down the creature his father helped create and clear his own name from the scandal... and Linden has reasons of his own that make him want to see how things play out, even if it means he must shadow Silver's journey by embarking on one of his own.

Unnamed OC Project

(Original fantasy work)

In a world of faded magic, Elora Ryba cares little for talk of soon-to-come saviors or the sightings of dragons. No, she has other things on her mind - return to the town she was forced to leave over ten years ago, and steal its most precious treasure. And, ideally, marry her, as Elora promised that night she was forced to flee.

Which is why Elora's spent the past month searching for a priest corrupt enough to join a pirate's crew, but not corrupt (or worse, moral) enough to turn her in, and she thinks she's finally found one.

And the big list of fandoms/shit I like!

[a-rogue-god]

4, 8, 10, 37, 41

4. A character you rarely talk about?

Valiel / Nihilus / and Absinthe I guess. I didn't put a whole lot of character building into any 3 of them besides kinda being side characters to more important ocs stories (Val and Absinthe for Michael, Nihilus for Gabriel) and that's on me. Val is a very lovely angel who is a loyal soldier, and one of Michael's closest friends/confidants. Maybe even lover at rare points idk. Nihilus is another priest in Gabriel's world, either one who trained alongside him or Gabriel trained himself? Friend turned someone who's suspicious of Gabriel. Absinthe is a succubus demon who butts heads with Michael frequently. I have a fun little idea of a 3 team save the world type interaction between Absinthe, Michael, and Mariel, where Mariel kinda helps Michael and Absinthe better get along.

8. Do you RP as any of your OCs? If you do, introduce one of your RP OCs here!

I dont sadly. I've tried to make oc rp blogs in the past but I get overwhelmed on trying to make the blog look nice and just being shy overall with them. I would love to rp more in private though so. If you're interested dm me or smth idk

10. Introduce an OC with a complicated design?

I think Augustine's design is the most complicated rn. All the frills and ornate designs gold watchers have... god. And ofc I want Augustine to be more flashy compared to other gold watchers, that's just what Augustine gives. Eventually I want to draw a more full body portrait of Augustine but eehhhhh hard

37. Introduce an OC who is not quite human

Victor :)

Victor's species is a species that evolved aside humanity, sharing humanoid traits but obviously different. They feed off of humans, and while their species is unnamed, Victor will allow you to call them a vampire since that's the closest analog to them that humans have come up with. They are not a vampire. Victor has lived for about 300 years but is not immortal. Their species hails from Siberia so they are white and have point coloration on their extremities. They are also all intersex, each member of the species able to get pregnant or get others pregnant. But it's usually a dominance thing when it comes to breeding where more submissive members of the tribe are the ones to carry young. Their species can vocalize like humans can, and in fact is how they lure human prey to their deaths, mimicking human voices calling for help. Victor was different though and actually learned how to speak and learned about humanity. They still ofc need to eat human prey so they gave themselves a code to only eat shitty people they meet or people they like tell them about. Lol.

41. Has anyone drawn fanart of your OCs? If yes, maybe show a picture or two here (remember sources & permissions!)

aaaa yes yes 🥺

For Michael someone on my tmc blog drew this of him:

It makes me sad bc they submitted it anonymously so I don't know who did it but it's so good.

I also commissioned my partner (not tagging his blog for now bc he's been targeted by a huge harassment campaign) to draw Michael:

For Gabriel there's a couple drawings from when he was an ihnmaims au oc with a couple other ocs from that server / Ted

I dont remember who did these unfortunatelllyy

And ofc my partner has doodled him a couple times:

Thank you so much for askingggg ;;;;;

[blooming-violets]

Peter’s Angel || TASM

Summary: Peter Parker decides one evening that he needs to take his friend’s virginity. 

Warnings: 18+, this is just pure smut, slightly possessive and obsessive peter, biting kink, praise kink, virgin kink 

A/N: tasm!peter with an unnamed woman (though has vague enough descriptions that I consider her an oc), written in 3rd person

18+ Tag List (Reminder! I’m redoing my tag list. Read about it here [x] if you would like be added or re-added):  @ongreenergrasses  @captaindanvxrs @liz-allyn​

“Mmmm…” She moaned as she rolled over on Peter’s bed. Her hair fanned out over her face and she brushed it away. “Did I doze off again?”

She sat up and rubbed the sleep from her eyes with the back of her hand. She pulled herself up and curled her legs under her, gazing at him from across the room with big, glassy eyes.

Her roommates had been fighting a lot. Peter knew sharing a small freshman dorm with two other girls was not her idea of fun. He had offered to let her crash in his room any time she wanted. She was prone to taking naps on his bed in the evenings after her classes. It wasn’t like he didn’t adore the fact that she was sleeping in his bed. He had to resist the urge to curl up next to her and spoon her while she slept. He was lucky that he got, not only, a single dorm but one with a private bathroom attached. It was the kind of college luxury most students could only dream of.

“Sure did. You were snoring and everything.” Peter sat in his wooden desk chair in front of his laptop while he fiddled with touching up some digital pictures. She hadn’t actually been snoring but he liked how embarrassed she got when he said it. 

He was a year above her. They were both a part of the photography club on campus. From the moment he met her, he had been enamored with her. Something about the quiet way she spoke, like she was forever nervous to raise her voice, made her incredibly endearing to him. Everything about her personality was soft and gentle. He wanted to wrap her up in a protective bubble and keep her safe with him forever. 

She had no idea how he felt, of course. It had been a few years since he had even allowed himself to feel this way for someone. He forgot how to woo a girl. So far, he tried sticking to being nothing but a good friend. That was enough to fulfill him for now. At least that’s what he tried to convince himself as she danced through his thoughts every night before bed. He’d desperately try to keep his late night imagination from spiraling into debauchery but sometimes he couldn’t control himself. 

She had told him once that she had never dated anyone before. Her parents had been really strict and kept a close eye on her. They had gone to a party one night. It was her first college party. She insisted he come with her. She was nervous because it was her first time drinking. He vowed to be the sober one to keep a close eye on her. She was getting tipsy and found herself talking to group of her girlfriends. Peter assumed it would be safe for him to sneak off to the bathroom to quickly relieve himself. When he got back she wasn’t with the group anymore. 

He had searched the whole house for her only to find her in one of the bedrooms with an upperclassman. The man had her pressed against the wall and was sticking his tongue down her throat. He was grabbing her breasts through her shirt. She was squirming and Peter couldn’t tell if it was because she was uncomfortable or from pleasure. Either way, he refused to let it go any further. He had practically thrown the guy across the room and pulled her out of there. 

While they sat outside in the backyard, she had teared up. She drunkenly told him she just wanted someone to love her. She confessed she had never had been with anyone before. She just wanted to feel desired. Peter remembered telling her that this was not the way to get that. She’d of regretted it in the morning. She tried to kiss him then but he gently refused. She was too intoxicated. The next day, he didn’t think she even remembered any of it. She never drank again after that. 

It was enough to fuel his secret fantasies though. At night, he liked to imagine her naked and splayed out on his bed. He longed to be the one to take her virginity. He wanted to be the first person to get the privilege to delve deeper into her most private places. He fantasied about the noises she would make as he played with her body. Her usually soft spoken voice unraveling into shrieks of pleasure. He would be the one to show her how good her body could really feel. 

He watched as she stretched her arms above her head and yawned. Her loose shirt pulled up and exposed her midsection. He could see the black elastic of her underwear peeking out over the waist band of her shorts. He licked his suddenly dry lips and forced himself to drag his eyes away from her skin. Peter turned his attention back to the computer as a distraction. God, he was too horny. Even the slightest bit of skin could set him off lately. She had cast her spell over him. Every little movement she made felt like she was purposefully calling out to him like a siren of the sea. Out of the corner of his eyes, he subtly watched as she adjusted her bra. It must have shifted slightly during her nap. He chewed on his top lip while envisioning what it would be like to hold her bare breasts in his hands. He longed to throw her down onto the bed and tear her clothes straight from her body. 

“Do you think I can take a shower here before I leave for the night?” She asked, cutting through his spiraling crude thoughts. “The showers in my dorm are so gross. Yesterday when I went to take one, someone had puked all over the drain. It was disgusting. Plus the curtains they have are about an inch too short on either side. It’s like they were designed by a huge pervert.” 

The idea of her naked, wet and soapy, in his shower caused his cock to twitch in his pants. He carefully maneuvered himself to hide his arousal from her. He kept his eyes carefully trained on his screen. Did he think she could take a shower here? Ha. That was only the greatest idea he’d ever heard. 

“Yeah, sure. That’s not a problem.” He tried his best to keep any excitement out of his voice. “Go right ahead.”

“Thanks, Petey. You’re the best!” She hopped off his bed, her shirt clinging around her chest and exposing her stomach for a beautiful moment before she tugged it back into place. She flashed him a charming smile and shut herself in the bathroom. 

If anyone else had dared call him “Petey” he would have launched them out a window. When it was her though, she could get away with calling him anything as long as it came out of those pretty lips of hers. 

The sound of the shower flooded his ears. His heart beat sped up at the thought of her stripping off her clothes mere feet away from him. He tried to close his eyes and take a few deep breaths. This was not how a good friend behaved. He was raised better than this. Apparently no one informed his cock though. It pressed uncomfortably in his pants. He was itching to touch himself. 

She was a girl and girls usually took a long time in the shower. If he was quick enough, he might be able to take care of the pressing problem at hand before she got out. Peter glanced towards the bathroom door and nearly had a heart attack. He had forgot to warn her that door was fidgety. If you didn’t close it in just the right way, it would fall open again. It was usually never an issue because he lived alone. A three inch gap was now beckoning his eyes inside. His siren was calling for him. From his spot on the chair he couldn’t quite see her. But if he leaned back just a little...

The chair almost fell over in his eagerness to catch a glimpse of her. He caught himself on his desk and pulled it back into position. What was he doing? This was so wrong. A sense of shame washed over him. This was not the kind of person he wanted to be. He should be a proper gentlemen and go close the door. He wasn’t going to be driven by his own horniness and greed. He was supposed to be respectful of her privacy. 

And, yet, what she didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her. 

He grabbed a Chemistry book and brought it to his bed. He settled down and pretended to give it a read. From here, he had the perfect vantage spot. He held the book up to his face and peeked out over the top. His eyes hungrily searched through the gap for her. He had never bought a new shower curtain when he moved in. It was just the clear liner to keep the water from spilling out onto the floor. That meant he had a straight view right to her. The universe was aligning. This was their fate. This was supposed to happen. Peter was sure of it.

His heart was pounding out of his chest. His beautiful, wet angel stood before him. Her body was even more perfect than the one in his dreams. She had her back facing the shower stream. Her hair was full of suds from his shampoo as she massaged her scalp. He watched as the bubbles cascaded down her slippery body. Before he knew it, his cock was out of his pants and in his hand. 

Her ass cheeks were plump with cute, little dimples. He envisioned himself grabbing handfuls of the meaty flesh, his fingernails digging into her skin, while he pumped his cock through his fist. She had a slight belly with the cutest bellybutton Peter had ever seen. He wanted to bathe it with his tongue. Her breasts sat high on her chest. From the side view he got, he could see her perfectly taught nipples poking out. Fuck, she looked so inviting. 

He took a shuttered breath and licked his dry lips. The water glistened off her. He watched in a trance as it slid over her silky skin. A water droplet clung from the end of her nipple and dangled in the air before falling. He longed to catch it in his mouth and drink from her body. The steam clung around her like her own personal cloud. She really was an angel. 

His eyes follow the stream of water falling from her face down to her chest and between her breasts. It slid over her soft belly and spilled out to slide into the tight junction between her legs. Her beautiful, virgin pussy. Peter’s stomach flipped with excitement as he imagined pulling her legs apart to get a look at the place no one else had been granted permission to see. 

He could feel his climax growing. It was very apparent to him now that Peter could not just be friends with her. He needed more. She had tried to kiss him that one time. Maybe she wanted this too. He would need to make his move tonight. There was no more waiting. Taking her virginity was no longer a decision Peter could deny. It was purely a need. An unconscious need like food or breathing. He was starving for her. She had no idea what was in store for her when she got out. He would ravish her until she could no longer walk. He would spend all night feasting on her flesh. He would make her his. 

Peter let his hand fall from his throbbing, aching member. He couldn’t waste his load on anything other than her. She would be the one to receive him. He shuddered at the thought of being allowed to fill up her cunt with his seed. His sweet, beautiful, perfect angel dripping with this cum. There was no doubt in his mind that he would have her. Peter Parker was put on this earth for the sole purpose of taking this angel’s virginity. 

The Chemistry book he had planned to use as a cover to steal glimpses of her slipped from his chest and onto the floor. His body couldn’t handle little glimpses. He had needed so much more. The book hit the ground with a heavy thud. The noise caused her to look up.

She made eye contact with him through the crack in the door. Her eyes darted down to his exposed erection laying proudly against his stomach. 

Peter’s eyes widened and he quickly covered himself with his pillow. He jumped up and slammed the door shut. His heart was racing and he squeezed his eyes closed. The sudden humiliation of getting caught pulled him out of whatever obsessive trance he had fallen in to. He was such a creep. What was he doing? He had never been this horny in his life. She was never going to trust him again. 

He took a shaky breath and tried to compose himself. How could he salvage this so he could still get what he wanted? He needed her and only her. No one else was ever allowed to have her. She belonged to Peter. The images of her wet naked body fluttered back into his vision. They pushed out the shame and horror he was feeling for his own perverted thoughts. All he could see was her. A sense of calm settled around him. He stood up straighter. There was no doubt. If she allowed him, he was still going to go through with it. He just had to be smooth about it. He had to be strong. This was no place for shame. 

He knocked on the bathroom door and called out her name, “Hey, we need to talk when you’re done in there.” The head of his stiff prick rubbed against the smooth surface of the door. He couldn’t remember the last time he had ever been this hard. It was all her. His angel. He tried to tuck it back into his pants the best he could while he spoke. “I know what you saw. My robe is on the back of the door. Just put that on and we can talk about this.” 

He purposely didn’t want her to get dressed again. The less clothes she had on, the better. He heard the shower shut off. Her wet feet padded against the tiles. He could hear her grab the robe off the door and a smile crept onto his face. She was probably so nervous she wasn’t thinking very clearly. She had all her clothes in there with her but she listened to him instead. That was a good sign. “I’m gonna move back to the bed. So, you can come out whenever you’re ready.”

Peter sat on the edge of his bed and kept his eyes trained on the door. Butterflies erupted in his stomach the second he saw it creak open. She peeked her head out first then slowly shuffled out into the room. 

The white robe was tied tightly around her wet, glistening skin. Her hair was combed back over her head. The ends made little dripping noises as wet droplets fell from the tips and onto the floor. He could practically feel the heat of embarrassment radiating off her cheeks and she kept her eyes cast to the floor. He could hear her nervous heart beating out of her chest. 

Peter smiled sweetly at her, “Jesus Christ, you’re beautiful.” 

A little smile tugged at the corner of her lips and she looked up to meet his eyes. 

“Stop,” she whispered. 

He shook his head. He’d never stop complimenting her. She was the type of woman who deserved to be worshiped. “I should have told you about the door. I’m sorry. That was really creepy of me. You just looked so...” He swallowed his words. “You’re a vision. A perfect angel. I don’t know what came over me but I couldn’t stop myself when I saw you there. I need to kiss you. Please. I’ve wanted to kiss you for a very long time.” He sounded so desperate but he remembered how badly she said she wanted to feel desired. Well, this was him, shamelessly lusting after her. 

Her bashfulness deepened. He could hear her breath catch in her throat. She wanted to be kissed. He could tell. He wouldn’t dare keep her waiting. 

Peter stood up and moved directly in front of her. His hands reached out to graze over her wrists. His fingers entwined with hers. He pulled her against his body, pressing his hips into her so she could feel how hard she had made him. He leaned down and kissed her forehead. 

“Let me finally show you how good a man can make a woman feel,” he whispered into her skin. 

She shuddered under him. A little whine escaped her lips. Her breathe was already becoming ragged in anticipation. She was acting almost as needy as he was.

“Peter,” her voice was so quiet even he could hardly head it. “I haven’t ever...no one has...” 

She was too embarrassed to tell him she had never had sex before. She must not have remembered their conversation that drunken night but knew what path they were headed down. He smiled down at her and nuzzled his forehead against hers. 

“Shh, it’s alright. If you get uncomfortable or want to stop at any time, you just tell me, okay? My job is to make you feel good. If, at any point, I’m not doing that then you need to let me know.” He rubbed her arms soothingly as he carefully studied her face. 

She slowly nodded. Her eyes were glued to the tent in his pants pushing against her. He watched as she chewed her bottom lip nervously. 

He pressed his fingers under her chin and tilted her head up to him. He lightly kissed her full, pouty lips. She hesitated only a moment before melting into him. 

Peter started slowly, not wanting to startle her or move too fast. This was all for her. He would take his time and savor every moment. He gave her bottom lip a quick peck and then the corners of her full mouth, he moved to her jaw and cheeks. Even the tip of her nose. He could feel her tensing as he traveled around her face. She wasn’t used to this kind of attention. The moment he returned to her luscious lips, she relaxed again. A quiet moan pressed out of his mouth as his tongue pushed its way past her lips. He drew his arms around her waist and pulled her closer. Her hands reached for his hair and tangled his locks in her fingers. The more passionately he kissed her, the more she would tear at his hair. He adored the way it felt. The harder she pulled, the faster the fire grew in his stomach. 

Peter eventually pried his mouth away from hers. She whined in response. He chuckled under his breath as his lips traced up her jaw and found her cute, little ear lobes. He flicked his tongue over it then sucked it into his mouth, giving the lobe a gentle nibble. 

Her jaw fell open in pleasure, “Mmm.” She was practically purring in his arms. He had clearly found one of her erogenous zones. His lips curled into a smile at his find as he bathed her ear with attention. Her wet hair and the smell of his shampoo lingering on her hair filled his nose. The thought of her covered in his own scent was intoxicating like she was marked as his. 

Peter began moving his lips and tongue down her collar bone and into the hollow of her graceful neck. 

“Are you enjoying yourself?” He mumbled into her skin.  

She replied with a far away groan. Her eyes were closed and a soft smile danced on her lips. He took that as a yes. He continued his decent. His tongue trailed down her neck and he slowly pushed the robe off her shoulders, leaving kisses on her newly exposed skin. 

When she felt the robe start to slide off her, she quickly caught it in her hands and held it up. Her eyes shot open. The dazed look on her face was replaced with one of anxiety. 

Peter pulled away at her sudden change in behavior, “Are you okay?” As much as he wanted to attack her body, it wouldn’t be worth it for him unless she was completely enjoying his advances. She needed to be fully on board. They were in this together. 

She shook her head no. Her eyes were big and round. They filled with worry. “What if you don’t like what you see?” 

He had to refrain from laughing. He already knew he liked what he saw. She was built just for him and nobody else. “That’s impossible. You could have full on lizard scales under that robe and I would still adore every inch of them.” 

She gave him a shy, breathy laugh, “Are you sure?”

Peter tried to soothe her nerves, “Did you enjoy me kissing you?” 

She nodded and sighed happily. 

“Good. Then what comes next is only going to be a better version of that.” He gave his lips a quick lick and smiled warmly at her.

He could tell she was thinking it over. No one had ever made her feel as good as Peter had in those sheer few minutes of heaven. She wanted to see what else he could do. He could feel it. Her hand reached out and their fingers brushed together. It was her way of letting him know it was okay to continue. 

“That’s my good girl,” he whispered. He could sense her arousal at his praise. He would lock that information in his the depths of his brain for later. 

Peter placed his hands on her shoulders and slowly pushed the robe off. His eyes hungrily watched at her bare shoulder’s were exposed, then her chest, his heart skipped a beat when her perfect tits capped with her hard nipples were releveled, then her abdomen followed by her soft stomach. Finally her hips and her pussy gave way for his eyes to feast on. The robe puddled to the ground around her legs and settled at her feet. His throat was dry as he stared longingly at the glistening, still wet pubic hair around her mound. He would burry his face in there soon enough. 

Peter reached for her hand, lifting her arm above her head, and gave her a slow twirl so he could take in every inch of her from all angles. 

“See? No lizard scales,” he was able let out a small joke to break the tension. 

Her body relaxed and she giggled. Her cheeks were burning but she seemed okay with his admirations. 

“Don’t let me be the only one naked,” she murmured. Her quiet voice was always so tantalizing. It made him want to lean in closer just to catch every word. This beautiful vixen was so unassuming and floated under everyone’s radar. Yet here she was, standing before him, with nothing pure grace and elegance. He was the luckiest man alive. He would bring her body to the brink of destruction tonight. A world of endless possibilities was laid out before him. Her innocence would play well with the dark, immoral places his mind was dragging him to. 

Peter tossed his shirt off with one fluid motion. His heart fluttered as he watched her eyes widen while she took in the muscles rippling over his chest. She had never seen him with his shirt off. She had yet to figure out his secret identity. His cut and muscular physique was a surprise to her. He hid it well under his clothes. 

His own pompous cockiness flooded his senses. He would show her exactly how strong he was tonight. Peter reached for her waist and pulled her tightly against him. His lips attacked hers as he kissed her deeply. Her supple breasts pressed against his bare chest and his fingers trailed down her spine until they stopped over her perfect, rounded ass cheeks. He gave her plump cheeks a squeeze. He was amazed at how silky and smooth they felt. His hands got to work softly kneading and massaging her ass. Her skin felt flush and warm in his greedy hands. She moaned in pleasure. 

Peter braced his arm under her bottom and hoisted her effortlessly into the air. A gasp fell from her lips and her eyes widened. She probably hadn’t been lifted like this since she was child. She instinctively wrapped her bare legs around his torso. He could feel the heat of her core boring into his skin. Her breasts were perfectly level with his mouth. No time was wasted in devouring her nipples while he carried her to the bed. Her body squirmed above him and he could see her head lull back with a low moan. She was truly a goddess. Did she have any idea how seductive her movements were? 

He threw her backwards onto the bed. The mattress shuddered under her as she fell and the cheap, college bed boards groaned. He’d be lucky if they didn’t completely break the bed in half tonight. She laid there watching him with her lips parted and her chest rising. He made a show of unbuttoning his pants. His cock was begging to be released from the confines of the fabric. He pushed his pants and boxers off, kicking them to side, and stood proudly before her. He let her take a moment to soak it all in. 

Her eyes feasted over his body and down to his bulging member. It was leaning heavily against his leg. Her bottom lip was sucked into her mouth and she couldn’t pull her eyes away. He wondered if this was the first penis she had ever seen in person before. Don’t worry, he thought to himself, she’ll get plenty of time to be introduced to it later. 

Peter climbed on top of her. She parted her legs as if she was ready to take him right then. He couldn’t help but give her a little smile. She was so eager. 

“Not yet,” he cooed. "Don’t be in such a rush. I have lots to do before I get to that.” 

He settled over her and his lips found her breasts again. Her breath caught in her throat and her back arched to push them deeper into his mouth. He softly kissed and licked at the tender, sensitive skin of her tits. Her nipples felt like they were sizzling with pleasure as he nibbled on the firm flesh. He made sure to alternate between the two twins. Each one needed to receive as much enjoyment as the other. 

“Oh, Peter!” She choked out when he used his teeth to lightly bite down against the hard nub. 

He had no idea what sort of kinks she might have. She probably had no idea herself. He’d work through her slowly and carefully to find exactly what she enjoyed. It seemed she responded well with light biting. He wanted to try and push it a little further. His teeth bore down on her nipple and pulled her breast away from her body. 

“Oh!” Her mouth fell open and her eyes widened. Her hips bucked up to grind against him as she let out a low moan. 

He watched her breast rise away from her body before releasing. The flesh jiggled as it settle back into place. He attacked it again. This time using gentle flicks of his tongue to stimulate her and help soothe the soreness forming around her nipple. She was loving it. Her hands entangled around the back of his head and held him tightly to her chest. 

He snaked a hand up her stomach to give love to her other tit while he nursed the one clasped in his mouth. His fingers pinched her nipple between them while he gave light, rapid strokes over the top. 

Her skin tasted like heaven. Just like an angel’s should. 

Her body was writhing under him. Her skin felt like it was burning against his. She was so hot he wouldn’t be surprised to see steam rising off of her. 

Peter stopped working on the breast in his mouth and switched over to the other. While he expertly used his tongue to pleasure her chest, his hand slid down her body, fingertips tracing lightly over her skin. He let his hand softly caress over her stomach, his fingers slowly circling her navel. He made wider and wider circles down the length of her until he he came to the warm, wet juncture between her legs. 

At this point, she was practically vibrating under Peter’s knowing fingers. He seemed to know just where to touch or kiss her. It was like he already knew every inch of her body. She was trusting him more and more with each passing minute. He could tell she wanted desperately to open herself up to him. He urged her legs apart and she obliged. She spread them wider for his hand to easily tuck between her thighs. Her fear was being replaced with lust. Peter only wanted to make her feel good. 

There was no doubt in his mind that her body was made for him. From the way her skin tasted of his soap, to the way her thick ass cheeks filled his hands, to the way she held his head to her ripe tits, down to the way she opened her legs just enough for his hand to be a perfect fit. She was his. He traced her wet slit with his fingertips causing her to tremble. As he slowly started sliding his fingers up and down, coating him in her wetness, he leaned his head back up to kiss her. 

Peter’s finger carefully parted her virgin pussy while his tongue slid past her lips and into her mouth. She was panting harder into him the deeper he sunk his finger. He had never felt anything so tight before. It was like her cunt was trying to squeeze his finger from his hand. He wondered if she had ever even had her own fingers in here. He almost doubted if he’d even be able to get his dick past her walls. He’d have to remember to move very delicately. 

Her body was on fire. She broke the kiss to call out in pleasure which gave Peter time to go back to nursing her tits. 

“Oh god, Pete,” she whimpered while his long, skinny finger probed into her until she had completely swallowed it whole. 

She was so wet he wasn’t worried about it hurting with just one finger. He’d have to work carefully before adding a second though. She would need a lot of warming up if he wanted to properly fuck her. His thumb found her clit and he traced delicate little circles over it. 

“Oh yes, Pete. That feels so good...” She hissed through clenched teeth. Her eyes had closed in bliss. 

A smug smiled pulled at his lips from her words. She was panting and squirming while his finger worked around inside her impossibly tight cunt. He was almost giddy with excitement for when he would finally get to slide his cock into her. Gradually he started to push a second finger in. His eyes stayed on her face to watch how she’d react to more stretching. A quick flash of pain hit her features but he didn’t pull out, only held his fingers steady for a moment. 

“You good?” He asked. 

She took a second but nodded, “Keep going.” 

He returned to massaging her clit with his thumb. He waited until he watched her body relax again before continuing to push in the second finger. Eventually, she had swallowed them both. 

Peter felt a bit of pride on her behalf. She was doing so good. His tight, sexy angel stretching to accommodate him. He felt her body respond the moment he located her G-spot. Her back arched and her breath increased. He kept a steady pace as he slowly pumped his fingers back and forth, curling them upwards to brush over that special spot each time. He wanted her to cum for him. He could tell she was getting closer. 

He wished he had a camera set up so he could keep this moment with him forever. Her first time orgasming from him. If he had his way, there would be many more times, but this time was special. It would be what he would use as late night material for many nights to come. His eyes were plastered to her face. He didn’t want to miss a single moment. 

“Look at me,” he whispered. 

Her eyes fluttered open. They had a bleary, dazed look in them. Pure pleasure filled her face and a dopey smile crossed her lips. Her nipples were rock hard against his chest. She was so close now.

“I’m going to make you feel good, baby.” He smiled down at her. All at once he slid his two fingers slowly against the rough patch of skin buried deep in her pussy while he pressed his thumb to her hard clit.

A quiet yelp burst out of her, she was still trying to keep her voice reserved, and an orgasm thundered through her. Her already tight pussy clenched down on his fingers and he felt warm wetness flow out of her spasming hole. Her legs trembled and her knees rose up while her hand reached over her head to grip onto his headboard. Waves of pleasure continued to flow back and forth like the tide inside of her. Her hips bucked against his hand while she worked to fuck his his fingers deeper into her. He didn’t even have to move, she was doing it all herself now. 

“Oooohh...” she moaned as she slowly came down back to reality. 

He was so pleased with her. She pulled his neck down so his body would be pressed against hers. Her face nuzzled into his cheek. Reluctantly, he pulled his fingers from her clutching hole. She moaned and shuddered when he did then melted into him. 

“Such a good girl,” he mused at her. “My beautiful angel.” He lovingly stroked his hands up and down her smooth arms. 

She shuddered one last time and leaned back into the pillow to gaze up at him. Peter had a twinkle in his eye as he admired her back. Perfection. 

“Thank you,” she whispered. She tugged his back of his head down to her lips and kissed him deeply. The action took Peter by surprise. She was so forceful in the way she pressed him to her face. She had known exactly what she wanted. It made his heart flutter with excitement. She was getting so confident. His special girl. 

She broke the kiss and whispered again, “Thank you.” 

Peter wasn’t sure why she was thanking him but he would give her a million more orgasms if it meant receiving her praise. She now owned his soul. He would do anything to please her. Only she had other ideas. 

A fiery look flamed behind her eyes. Peter’s brow furrowed trying to figure out what she was thinking. He didn’t have to wait long to get the answer. Her hand pressed against his shoulder and she flipped him onto his back, taking his place above him instead. His eyes widened. It was like her orgasm had released a wild animal inside of her. He could only imagine what kind of person she would be with a few months of practice under her belt. Oh, he had so many future plans for her. 

She settled between his legs and gawked down at his cock. He could see her confidence falter a bit at the sight. His hand reached up to brush her wet hair back from her face and he smiled. 

“It’s okay. You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” he murmured. Obviously he would adore her swollen lips wrapped around his member. The thought alone was enough to make his hips tremble but he didn’t want to push her too far. 

She shook her head, her voice back to it’s soft, timid tones, “I want to.”

Tenderly, her hand gripped around the base of his cock. Her eyes peered back at him from behind her lashes and he gave her an encouraging nod. She leaned forward and pressed a quick kiss to the tip of his throbbing head, tasting his salty pre-cum on her lips and tongue. 

It was singlehandedly the hottest and most adorable act he had ever witnessed. She licked her lips in preparation and carefully placed her mouth around the head of his cock. She ran her wet tongue all the way around the tip and sucked it into her mouth.

Peter’s eyes rolled into the back of his head, “Fuck yes.” He was officially in love with her. All it took was a little attention from her mouth for him to fall head over heels. He’d do anything she’d ever ask of him for the rest of time. Anything she wanted was hers. 

She slowly started moving her hand along with her bobbing mouth. She seemed to be able to only able to get the first few inches into her mouth before it bumped against the back of her throat. He could tell she almost gagged a few times when he hit too deep. 

Peter strummed his fingers through her hair, “Take your time. There’s no rush, baby. Don’t worry about getting it all in there.” He placed a hand over hers and helped show her how to move it over the base of his cock. “Like this. Then you can just focus on sucking on the head. Use your tongue a lot. You’re doing great.”

In truth, she wasn’t the best at sucking a dick, but he knew she would learn with time. It was hard to complain when her mouth felt so warm and inviting. One day, he’d get her to deep throat the whole thing. For now, he’d be happy just letting her play around with him. It was their first meeting. She had to get used to the way he felt in her hand and mouth. Even if her technique was nearly non-existent, Peter loved the sight of his prick sliding past her lips. As her inexperienced head rocked up and down in his lap, he felt his balls begin to draw up and he knew it wouldn’t be long before he exploded. He was already so tender and ready from his interrupted masturbation session earlier. 

“I’m gonna cum soon,” he prepared her. “Do you-” He had to swallow and close his eyes in an attempt to hold back his body before he could ask her. “Do you want me to cum in your mouth? ‘Cause, if not, you might want to move.”

Her eyes widened a little at his question but she kept her mouth over him. She worked him deeper into her throat. That was all it took for his first shot of hot cum to erupt into her mouth. She jumped at the sensation and started swallowing. She might not of have the best blow job skills but she sure knew how to swallow like a pro. Load after thick load shot into her mouth and with pride she swallowed every last drop. Her eyes were locked to his face, waiting and watching for his approval. 

Peter shuddered in bliss and gazed with half closed lids down at the beautiful, naked angel with the head of his dick still resting between her lips. He loved her. 

She let his softening cock slip from her mouth and wiped the drool from her chin with the back of her hand, “Did I do good?”

She wanted his praise. He wouldn’t ever deny her that. He wanted her to crave his compliments. 

“Best little cock sucker in the world, angel.” He grinned down at her and pulled her back over him. He adored the way her breasts felt pressed against his bare chest. He loved the way he could feel the heat coming from between her legs. 

A huge smile broke out over her face at his admiration of her. Her cheeks burned with pride. She was beautiful. He kissed her mouth and grabbed a handful of her ass cheeks. He was such an ass man. Her legs fell to either side of his hips so his cock nestled under her pussy lips. He was already hard again. One of the many perks of his spider bite was his ability to rejuvenate with ease. She also had that effect on him. 

Peter took his time to simply kiss her while they both relaxed from their orgasms. He wanted to space hers out enough that she didn’t become overstimulated and call it quits too early. He nibbled and sucked on her bottom lip while massaging her ass. Eventually he released her cheeks from his grasp and instead cupped her face in his hands. His brown eyes studied her delicate features with adoration. He tucked her drying hair behind her ears. 

“Beautiful,” he breathed while staring at her. 

He knew the moment he said it, the timid look would appear back on her expression. He wasn’t wrong. 

“Peter?” She whispered. 

“Hmm?” His eyes closed while he grazed his lips over her burning cheeks. 

“I’ve wanted this for a really long time,” she confessed to him. “Since the first day I saw you. I’ve dreamed about this moment.” 

His eyes opened to stare into hers. There was no hint of deceit hiding behind them. She meant every word. He smiled at her. 

“I guess that makes two of us then,” he placed a soft kiss to her lips. 

She deepened it. Her tongue slid past his lips and danced around his. His hands returned to her ass while hers tangled in his hair. The longer she kissed him, the more her hips began to grind against his dick. He helped glide her along the length of him by gripping tightly onto her cheeks and pushing or pulling her. She was already sopping wet down there and she slid over him with ease. She broke their kiss for her back to arch as she pointed her hips down to maximize the amount of stimulation her clit was receiving. A whimper rumbled in the back of her throat. Peter could do nothing but stare up at her in awe. He couldn’t even fully appreciate the feeling of her cunt rubbing against him. He was too worked up at just staring at her face. A virginal seduction goddess was hovering above him. Her eyes were closed, her lips parted, and her head was hanging back while she worked her hips to create her own satisfaction. He wasn’t even helping anymore. She was doing it all on her own. He could only watch while she used him for her pleasure. It was like nothing he had ever seen before. She was completely lost in her own feelings, rubbing her clit faster against his dick. Her hands were braced against his chest. The rolling of her hips sped up. Her panting got heavier. Peter stared in wonderment as her second orgasm of the night hit her. 

Her entire body shook and convulsed over him. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head. Her mouth hung wide open in a silent scream. Her hips gyrating and trembling until she collapsed on top of him. Her whole body crumbled over his chest. He wrapped her up in his strong arms and held her tightly there. His hands stroked over her hair and down the back of her head to soothe her. 

“Wow,” was all he was able to breathe out. 

He heard her laugh quietly and it only made his love for her grow. She kept her head buried in the crook of his neck. She was breathing heavily. 

“You keep that up and you’ll be too tired for me fuck you,” he joked. 

Her head peeked up at him and she kissed under his jaw, “No way. Give me a minute and I’ll be ready. I want this.” 

She truly was his gift sent from the heavens. 

“I haven’t ever felt like this before,” she lamented. “I never even really touched myself. I mean, I definitely I have a little, but not like this. Nothing ever came of it. It’d just make me more frustrated that I couldn’t find a release to all that tension. I thought I was broken. I feel like I’m being woken up to a new revelation.” 

Peter traced the tips of his fingers up and down her spine, “You’re not broken. I don’t think you have any idea how incredibly sexy you are. The way you lose yourself in your orgasm, the way your body moves, it’s something else. If this college thing doesn’t work out for you, you should try porn.” 

Her light laughter filled the room. It was heavenly. 

“I’m serious,” he said. “I’ll film it for you. I’ll be the best director you’ve ever seen.” 

The thought of cameras popped into his head. He wished he could have a picture of her to remember this night by. Something to look back on. He was unsure how revolted by the idea she might be. He was afraid to ruin their perfect mood.

“I’m not sexy,” she whispered.

It was Peter’s turn to laugh now. He carefully rolled her off his chest and onto her back. 

“Wait right there,” he said as he climbed out of the bed. 

He grabbed his polaroid camera out of his closet. He held it up to show her and stepped onto the bed. Peter stood over her and pointed the camera down at her. 

“Just stay still, exactly as you are, and I’ll show you what I see,” he ordered. 

She made no protests to being photographed. The act of the polaroid was probably less of a scary thought. It wasn’t something that could be shared on the internet. It was more intimate which was exactly why Peter loved them. He snapped the pic. The flash went off to illuminate her body lazily draped over his bed sheets. Her arm was resting above her head causing her breasts to be lifted. Her back was slightly arched and twisted so you could get a great glimpse at the roundness of her bottom. Her bedroom eyes were piercing up at the camera. She was posing like a nude model without even releasing it. He grabbed the picture when it emerged from the camera and placed it on his bedside table to develop. If she was willing to let him take photographs of her now, he could only imagine what the future would hold. He predicted the back of his closet door would be covered in her nude photos in no time. 

Peter took advantage of the fact that she was now under him. He could spend all night just staring at her beautiful naked body but he still needed to sneak a taste of her before he claimed her virginity. He trailed wet kisses down her neck only for her to respond with soft moans. If he didn’t eat her out soon, he thought he might die of starvation. He felt her small intake of breath as he reached her perfect breasts. He kissed all around the firm flesh before dragging his tongue across the sensitive nipple. 

“Yes,” she hissed and pushed her chest forward. 

He didn’t stay there for long though. He had other appointments to make. She closed her eyes as he worked her way down her body. Peter slid down the bed until he was practically kneeling on the floor with his upper body draped across the foot of the bed. The college mattress they were given always felt so small compared to his one at home. 

She knew where he was going, knew what he was planning. Her legs fell open for him. For the first time, he got a proper peek at her hidden treasure. He took a beat to simply admire the beauty before him. He longed for his polaroid again but knew that would be taking it one step too far for her. 

While he took in the sights, he was pleased in knowing that she was finally his. This beautiful pussy was going to belong to Peter Parker tonight. He greeted it by sticking out his tongue and licking the length of her slit. Her body jumped at the touch. 

“Peter!” She cried. “Oh...please...” 

With a finger from each hand, Peter opened up the pretty, little flower of her heated pussy. A trickle of her juices trailed out of the tight hole and her hard clit stood out from beneath its hood. She was most certainly still a virgin. He licked his lips, his mouth was watering at the sight. Peter lightly licked the flesh between her swollen lips and gave a small kiss at the entrance to her hole just like she had for him. He felt her hips start to roll against his face, begging for more attention. His tongue slipped inside of her. 

“Yes, Peter,” she panted. 

His eyes flicked up to catch her playing with her breasts. She was pinching her nipples hard between her fingers and tugging her breasts away from her chest. She liked them to be played with more roughly he could tell. He’d keep that in mind for another night. His tongue probed into her as deeply as he could reach. She tasted absolutely divine. The only time he pulled out was to bathe her clit with mouth then he’d dive back in again. Her panting was getting louder and her hips were starting to lift off the mattress as she humped his face. He could tell she was nearing her third orgasm. He debated it he should allow her to ride it out but decided against it. He wanted her needy for him. The hungrier her pussy was, the easier it would be to swallow his cock. 

Regrettably, Peter pulled his head away from her. There would be times in the future when he would spend the entire day doing nothing but eating her out. Today was not that day though. Her slick juices coated his chin and he licked them off of his lips. She wailed in displeasure as he left her cresting on the verge of euphoria. Her hips bucks against the empty air and she pouted down at him.

“No!” She cried at him. “Why did you stop?”

He gave a breathy laugh and climbed up her body, pecking her lips, “Because I think it’s about time I made love to you, don’t you think?” 

She seemed to accept that idea. A tiny smile hinting on her lips. She gave him a little nod and a slow, sweet kiss. He could tell she was starting to get nervous. 

Peter gently pulled away from her and grabbed a condom out of his bedside stand. His eyes caught sight of the now developed polaroid sitting there. He smiled as he picked it up and handed it to her. 

“Look at you,” he mused. “An angel.”

She took the picture in her hand and studied it over. It was a good distraction for her while he placed the condom onto himself. It was one of the rubbers that was already pre-lubed. It was nothing ribbed or special, just a simple, basic condom. He figured that would be easiest for her. 

“Are you sure that’s me?” She asked. 

He plucked the picture from her hands, glancing between the two, and nodding, “Yep. I’d say they’re a perfect match.” He put it back on the bedside table. He looked deep into her eyes and asked seriously, “Do you trust me?”

She nodded silently, her apprehensive eyes searching his. 

“Then I trust you to tell me to stop if it hurts too much. We can go as slow as you need but you have to tell me.” He bent down and pecked her lips. “Now spread your legs for me, baby.” 

She did as she was told, her legs spreading wide to accommodate him between them. She suddenly looked so vulnerable. His confidence flew out the window when he gazed down at her. He wanted nothing more than to protect her. It made him nervous just looking at her. She was too beautiful for him. What was he doing? 

“Peter?” She questioned him when he had hovered there frozen for a beat too long. 

He snapped out of his daze, “I...I want you to say it.” He wanted to hear it from her. He wanted to make sure this was all okay. He was scared he was taking advantage of her.

She brought her lips up to his ear and whispered with hot breath into him, “I want you to fuck me, Peter.”

His confidence came rushing back. This was exactly what he was meant to be doing. She was made for him and he was made for her. He needed to savor this moment. He would be the first person to fuck her. It was all him. 

He positioned the head of his cock at the entrance to her wet cunt. He leaned down to kiss her when he started pushing the tip inside. She cooed at the feeling of him parting her lips. He knew the pleasant feeling wouldn’t last long when he reached her hymen. At least he could rest in knowing that her body was still in heat from the assault of his tongue. If she was ever going to be ready, now was the time. 

“I want you all the way inside me, Pete.” She breathed. “Please. Please. I can’t wait anymore. I need you.” 

He wouldn’t argue with that. Peter kept his slow, diligent penetration. Inch by inch he would burry himself into his beautiful angel. He felt her tensing when he hit a certain point. He stopped to check on her. 

She shook her head, “Keep going. Don’t stop. It hurts more when you stop.” 

He continued even when she let out a loud yelp and hissed under her breath. Her body was tensing and he could tell she was extremely uncomfortable. Peter slipped his hand between their thighs and found her clit. It was a little awkward of a position for him to reach but he did his best to keep a finger flicking over it in an effort to soothe her. His mouth also found her nipple and sucked it against his wet tongue. Anything to try and help bring her more pleasure than pain as he continued to stretch her open. She was just so tight. He had heard the term “like a glove” before but she was tighter than that. Her pussy was like a velvet vice, squeezing him harder than anything ever had before. She seemed to be drawing him deeper into her depths. His whole life had lead up to this exact moment. He was cherishing every second. 

As Peter carefully filled her up, her moans started to switch from unease to pleasure. His added ministrations must be providing some much needed relief for her. She started to raise her hips to meet him more and more. He felt wanted. By the time his balls were resting against her ass cheeks, she gave him a little smile. He waited there. Letting his cock stretch her out and better accommodate him. He released her nipple and turned back to her mouth. 

“Are you okay?” He asked between kisses. 

She nodded, “It wasn’t as bad as I thought.” 

His tongue swirled around hers. She was okay. She wasn’t in pain and she was no long virgin. That belonged to Peter now. He wanted to fuck her. He couldn’t keep waiting inside of her without doing anything. Slowly, he pulled back just a few inches and pushed into her again. She sucked in a sharp breath of air. 

“Oh, yes.” She moaned. “Again.”

Peter began his slow and rhythmic thrusts, gently but deliberately fucking her now. Her breath became rapid and her beautiful tits were moving along with each thrust into her. His cock felt wonderful filling her, stretching her tight walls, and scraping over her sensitive flesh as his dick rubbed against her G-spot with every inch. There was nothing in the world that could possibly feel better than this. They both wanted each other. Needed each other. He was in heaven. 

Her hot cunt was a velvet fist gripping his cock as he drew it in and out of her. He loved the sounds of her deep moans. They were getting less reserved with each passing minute. Every new thrust, Peter would pull out further and push in deeper. Soon he was able to slide through her without any restrictions. He could tell she was falling deeper in love with the act of sex too. Her hips would roll up to meet him. They both fell into a perfect rhythm together. 

“Peter, oh, Peter,” she kept moaning his name with her eyes closed. He could listen to that sound forever. His name never sounded so good. 

Peter increased his tempo, plunging in and out, harder and faster, his own needs taking over. He felt her hands slide up his arms and wrap around his neck, his body pressed flat against hers as he fucked her into the mattress. 

“You feel so good, baby. Such a good girl. My sweet angel. Look at how well your pussy is taking me. It feels so good. So tight,” he grunted out the words, not even fully knowing what he was saying. He just wanted to praise her and remind her how lovely she was. 

He felt like a steam engine, slowly starting then picking up the pace as he plowed along. Her rock hard nipples scraped against his abs. He attacked her neck with wet, heavy kisses to leave little bruises over her perfect skin. 

She couldn’t speak as the erotic sensations coursed through her body. She could only moan. Her voice was getting louder. Surely, everyone on the floor could hear her now but that only made Peter want to fuck her harder. Let everyone know. She was his. He was the reason she was screaming like that. All his. 

The sounds she was making was a good hint that she was about to cum soon. Peter could last a long time if he tried but he wanted to climax along with her. He closed his eyes and focused on the feelings electrifying his body. He could feel it building. He pumped harder. His hips were working over time to drive himself into her as far as he possibly could. 

Her grip around his neck tightened and a loud shriek burst from her throat, “I’m coming! Oooh!” Her pussy clamped down on his cock as she spasmed around him. She continued shrieking as pure bliss washed through her body. Her pussy rippled around him like it was trying to milk the cum right out of him. 

That was all it took. Peter sucked in a breath as he buried himself balls deep into her tight, little cunt and shot his load deep into the end of the condom while she drained him of everything he had. A low growl escaped his throat and he bit down hard on her shoulder to keep from screaming. 

The bite must have unlocked something in her because her dying orgasm suddenly flared back up. She rocked her hips harder against him and thrashed her head back and forth against the pillow. Her entire body trembled underneath him. She was gasping for air. 

Peter finally felt himself relax. He was finding it difficult to hold himself up over her any longer so he rolled off her, flipping her over to spoon naked together in the small bed. His hand found her breasts and he palmed it lazily while he closed his eyes. She was panting heavily, having trouble catching her breath. 

She lay there stunned, unable to move or form words, letting Peter pull her into whatever position he wanted. He buried his face in the back of her neck and breathed her in. At some point he pulled off the condom and tossed it into the trash by his bed. Now his freed cock laid nestled between her ass cheeks while she dozed in and out of sleep. Anytime she’d move, she’d brush against his dick. He was already hard again. She was in a for a treat when she realized just long he could really last. He gently grinded his hips into her while his dick slipped between her cheeks and his hands toyed with her breasts. 

“That was the best moment of my entire life,” he mumbled. 

She responded with nothing but a sleepy, “Mmm.” 

He’d let her rest for a little while longer but he knew the night would be one with no sleep. 

He’d be fucking her again in no time. 

[benevolentbirdgal]

Writeblr Introduction Post: benevolentbirdgal

Shalom y’all! I’ve seen several of these as of late and thought it probably my turn!

Me: You can call me Tzipporah or Birdie. I am a 20-something woman who likes to write stuff. She/her. SFW, but probably would be rated as PG-13. Here there be swearing.

What You’ll Find On My Blog: Writing advice, OC questions (mine and reblogged), prompts (mine and reblogged), my four WIPs, occasionally other people’s WIPs, Jewish stuff, random tumblr stuff. 

My Genres: Humor, Horror, Sci-Fi, YA, short story.

Writeblr Stuff

Asks: Very open! Feel free to ask about writing stuff, my WIPS, writing advice (although I’m no more qualified than the next internet rando), or just to be chatty!

Ask Games: If I reblog or post it, you can ask me for the ask game.

Community: I am not currently in any writeblr groups or group chats or exchanges on Tumblr, but I am open to it!

Contacting Me: Inbox is open!

Fanworks/read-alongs/whatever: I would be/am immensely flattered by anyone wanting to make fanart or do readings of stuff I write. I realize I can’t enforce this, but please tag or link the original work if you want to make something with my stuff.

Tag Games: Open to tag games. No promises I’ll participate in every one I get tagged in, but feel free to tag me.

Tagging: If you want to be tagged for WIP updates, let me know. If you need me to tag for cw/tw stuff, let me know. 

My current (active) WIPS (4):

God of Cheese:

Irreverent story about hubris, found family, bureaucracy, and the love of cheese. 

Set in ancient land with heno-polytheistic pantheon of gods doing their thing. Not based around any particular pantheon past or present.

The big/important gods go to a conference (to meet with gods from other lands) and leave the God of Cheese, Colby, in charge. He's a competent dude, but like a lower-management type, not a "run the land" type. There's all sorts of minor gods and gods-adjacent critters and special humanish types that are suddenly his problem

Shenanigans ensue. 

Most of the gods have names that are dumb puns or jokes in languages I speak.

Some stuff written, still workshopping and worldbuilding. 

Unnamed Jewish YA Vampire Hunter Story/Fantasy:

Hannah (Chava) is 14 and weird things started happening after her bat mitzvah last year. It comes to a head when she learns she’s from a Jewish family of alukah & sheyd (vampire and demon) hunters, although her branch is usually focused on alukot. 

Very much an exploration of Jewish identity in the U.S. in the 2000s/2010s. 

Jewish ideas about folklore, alukot (vampires), sheydim (demons), and the spooky. 

Antisemitism is discussed, portrayed, and processed. 

Several parts written, need to edit and find requisite chutzpah to post. 

Unnamed Sci-Fi dramedy in spaaaaaaaaaaaace:

Kind of episodic. Takes place in the near-ish future, timeline intentionally unclear. Probably a 3 or 4 out of 6 on TV trope’s Sci-Fi Hardness scale.

The Earth empire, which is kind of sort of an extension of the successor to the U.N., has what is basically starfleet managing its extensive holdings around the universe. 

The story centers around three main characters in their 20s navigating employment and space. 

Includes Jewish, queer, and disability representation. Talks about class/regional values conflict through sci-fi lens. 

You can learn more about this one here, here, and here. 

Several parts written, need to edit to post. 

How To Survive Shopping

Ruleshorror stuff I write and post on reddit. I usually repost here as well, but the most complete version lives on my reddit index.

Basically, spooky one-off lists about different kinds of shopping that conceivably take place in the same universe as one another. 

Currently 20-something parts. 

[trashcatsnark]

Questions For An Author

Tagged by the always lovely @shallow-gravy

Tagging: @enchantedbythebidders @tender-wounds @rosyibby

Name: Mariah

Top 5 Fandoms Written: Far Cry 5, Kissed By The Baddest Bidder, Cyberpunk 2077, Boyfriend To Death, uhhhh Mystic Messenger? That feels like a cheat.

Top 5 Fandoms You Want To Write For/More: Mystic Messenger, I really loved that otome, and wrote for it but never finished anyting for some reason. Fallout 4, I fell in love with Danse but struggled to fall in love with the lore (i hate the 50’s aesthetic shit ngl, but thats just me) so nothing ever took off. Supernatural, ironically most popular fic on AO3 is for Supernatural but I never sunk my teeth into writing for it like I thought I would. Boyfriend to Death, I actually have like lots of my one shots and some series ideas for BtD, but never really have found the time or energy to write them. Stardew Valley is a big one too, I adore Shane, but for some reason that fic has yet to catch it’s vibe.

Stories You Wish More People Knew About: Granted, Can You Feel The Sun? My cyberpunk 2077 fic is still very much in it’s infancy, so it’s understandable but I still sometimes am like wahhh i wish it was doing better. But, I know its just a time thing, i mean, it took about a year for This Is Love to do as well as it is rn.

Ship(s) Written The Most: Dahlia x Polyseed, Tsuneko x hinted with all bidders, Aidan x Johnny. Im an oc simp, what do you want from me.

Character(s) Written The Most: Dahlia at this point. As far as canon characters, maybe Pratt since he’s her shit head sidekick.

How Many OCs Do You Have: An amount. Dahlia for FC5, Tsuneko for KBTBB, Aidan or CP2077, Regan for SPN, Scout for FO4, Haejin for Mystic Messenger, Jude for SDV. Unnamed ocs for BtD and Monster Prom. And if you go far enough back i had like a billion shitty ocs for OHSHC, Fruits Basket, Naruto, YYH, One Piece, Digimon, Pokemon, etc etc.

How Many Series Do You Have: Publicly; I have 3. This Is Love (FC5), Black Market Wonderland (KBTBB), and Can You Feel The Sun? (CP2077). Though, unfinished, I did have Blossoming which was gonna be my Mystic Messenger fic and Mad To Live which was gonna be my supernatural fic. And I never named them but I was gonna do one for SDV and FO4, maybe someday, or not at all.

What Do You Do With Fics You’re No Longer Interested In?: I don’t really like to like abandon fics, but like it is a struggle especially when I lose interest in the fandom it’s for. Black Market Wonderland has been on a very long hiatus, but I definitely do wanna come back to it whenever my love for KBTBB is back and Im less frustrated with Voltage as well as some shit that went down in the fandom. I know drama and personal shit shoudn’t impact feelings on a game, but its hard for it not to for me.And what happened in voltage stuff was like, the most personal I’ve ever been involved in stuff so, its hard. But i still love the characters, so hopefully I’ll rekindle that flame. So, i guess I just wait and pray for my energy to return.

Coming Soon: The next update I do, that I have planned for next month is chapter 11 for This Is Love.

Line From A WIP: From Can You Feel The Sun? Chapter 2. (accidentally wrote can you feel the love, smashing fic titles together omg) Also, spoilers for Jackie's backstory in Cyberpunk 2077, so skip over if you don't want.

“I meant what I said before, Night City ain’t the kind of place to let you get by without family, but…” He trails off and chews his lip as he considers his next words. Then they seem to die in his throat.

“But…?” She prompts, trying to encourage him to finish his thought. Jackie then grabs a belt from his nightstand table, stretching worn leather over his fingers.

“Do you know what this is?”

It’s clear it has some significant value to him, but she has no way of knowing what, to her it’s just a belt. So, she merely shakes her head no, deciding not to be a smartass and allow him the chance to get the weight off his chest.

“This belt belonged to my dad, if you can call him that, Raul Welles. He, uh, use it to beat on us.. Go to school overed in welts, have to watch like a coward when he’d go after my ma.”

“You weren’t a coward,” V signs and gets up from her chair, sitting next to him, touching his shoulders, “you were a child.”

“Yeah…well, one day I ripped the belt right out of his hand and showed him what it felt like, turns out he couldn’t take his own medicine. Haven’t seen him since, but keep it on hand, just in case.”

V squeezes his shoulder, not sure what to say or do, how to comfort someone after that. The pains of a shitty dad is one she knows all too well, even when her own wasn’t trying to kill her, he was fixated on making her and her sister strong; training them. She knows all too well that you can’t take away the memories or the pain, but she hopes, being here can be enough. That the comfort of touch can act as a temporary salve for the heart, even if it’s all she can offer.

“Look, chica,” he takes a deep breath, “I don’t know your story, when and if you tell it is up to you. But, my point is. You need a family to get along in Night City, but family don’t end or start with blood. My old man will never be family to me. But, I got…people… who don’t share a drop of blood of with me and I’d take a bullet for ‘em”

“I think…I get what you mean, family you choose is what matters most.”

She agrees, but choosing her family is it’s own beast. Letting people in, breaking down walls, finding a family that chooses her as much as she chooses them. It’s all a terrifying prospect, being alone is easier, more convenient, less effort… Though it has a cost too, of course.

“So, make a choice.”

“What?”

“Work with me, V.”

Do You Accept Prompts?: I accept questions and ideas; I’m always open to talking about my oc’s and their bullsit. But as far as prompts go, if I'm in a mood which is rare and don’t really take requests. I just personally have always found that if I accept requests or prompts; writing because a duty/obligation and not a hobby which drains a lot of the fun for me.

How Do You Feel About Kudos?: They’re nice and I really appreciate them. Comments and bookmarks will make me the happiest!~ That being said I’m really bad about doing that myself so I get it.

Do You Read Fic As Well?: Not that much actually, I’m very particular with what I read regularly and even then, maybe once a week I go on a reading binge. I love fanfic, greatly, but I’m someone who’s like I need to write

[onthevirgeofdestruction]

35 Q’s for Fanfic Writers

From this post

I’m having a shitty, rude alter-y, crap night so I’m just going to answer all of these to distract myself and focus and to not bother anybody just making my own post and putting it under the cut btw, notice to anyone not aware: since I’m moving I won’t likely be updating anything until I’m done doing so.

1. From one to five stars, how would you rate your writing?  (No downplaying yourself!) 3/5? Could use more editing and description and can be weirdly paced.

2. Why do you write fanfiction? Because it’s better than focusing on pain 24/7. 

3. What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works? I don’t seem to have a specific narrative voice that people recognize but I’m pretty proud of mostly organic dialogue. 

4. Are there any writers that inspire you? as a rule i never look up to anybody for inspiration but there’s some stuff in my ao3 bookmarks I fawn over.

5. What’s the fic you’re most proud of? Right now, none of them. It changes normally, anyway. If get too proud then I’d get my ass kicked by RSD if someone didn’t like it so it’s safer this way

6. What element of writing do you find comes easily? Dialogue. 

7. What element of writing do you struggle with most? Organic description, poetic language kind of stuff. I can paint a scene but I’m not so great with bring out out a feeling with description alone.

8. Which character(s) do you find easiest to write? Janus and Virgil are probably tied. They both have things I struggle with but I don’t have to go back and do much adjusting of language and tone with them. Though admittedly my Virgil is signifigantly more foul-mouthed than canon and I tend to prefer pre-AA feral asshole Virgil.

9. Which character(s) do you find most difficult to write? Patton. I write him the least, so people can probably tell. I love Patton, I really do, but it’s so hard to keep away from fanon Patton. 

10. What’s your favorite genre to write for? Angst w/ H/C obviously. Or if you’re talking about regular book genres, Fantasy. I fucking love fantasy world building.

11. Who or what do you find yourself writing about most? Trauma. I blame Daeram. As if Ayri isn’t a giant Angst Demon.

12. Tell us about a WIP you’re excited about. Slopes. I’m really into it. I’ve got three one shots running right now. Patrons can read the first part of the unnamed cat remus one, there’s also a coffeeshop au tropey nonsense one like eglantine & lycoris, but Slopes is addiction angst. Mmmmm. Virgil is addicted to coke and alcohol and will listening to his friends even be in time? Who knows, especially not me, but there’s already over 30k. 

13. First fandom you ever wrote for? InuYasha. Or was it Harry Potter? Or shit, The Blue Sword? Fuck, I’ve been writing for a long time, I really have no idea.

14. What’s your favorite fandom to write for? Sanders Sides. The characters are the perfect dynamic for writing since they exist in balance of each other and the popular, easy to project on archetypes featured are incredibly fun to do basically any scenario with.

15. What’s the weirdest fandom you’ve ever written for? Weird storywise? Kingdom Hearts? I can’t even follow the plot anymore. Weird Fandomwise? Sanders Sides. Its simultainiously the fluffiest and angstiest nonsense at the same time.

16. Any guilty pleasure trope(s)? Vampires. Gay ones. Gay Vampires. I also love calm tol and angy smol.

17. A trope you’ll never, ever write for. Any tropes that normalize incredibly toxic behaviour or tropes that are inherantly ableist, but I can’t think of any.

18. Wildest fic you’ve ever written? Incorrigible continues to be complete nonsense.

19. Do you prefer canon-compliant, AUs, or something in-between? AUs. I mean closest I even have is canon-divergence other than a single short.

20. Gen fic or shippy stuff? I like it when there is gay nonsense along with a plot that is treated as more important than the relationship the most. But I like both. There’s more shippy stuff in tss so i read more shipping action by default.

21. Favorite pairing to write for? (platonic or romantic!) Anxceit/Sleepxiety, but in general, give me darksides or give me death/j

22. Do you listen to anything while you write? Almost everything I write has a special playlist I listen to to help me write it, but otherwise I listen to my Nyan playlist, an alter is picking the tunes, or a voidfam playlist. I never have music off. When my internet is down I just listen to the songs I own or Anxiety’s theme on loop.

23. Do you prefer prompts and challenges, or completely independent ideas? I’m fine with all of them. I love working with prompts but I tend to deviate. And I’ve never done a challenge since I can’t do deadlines and bad things happen bingo never sent me a card and I applied three times.

24. One-shots or multi-chaptered works? I am generally multi-chaptered stuff, but I’ve been working on a few one-shots lately that are much longer than most one shots.

25. Have you ever daydreamed about side adventures/spin-offs from your fic? Tell us about them! I was originally thinking of doing some little 13-year-old Dreaming!Roman (y’know, the one with a job) shorts but it turns out I just had an alter of that little bastard and that’s why I inexplicably know more about him then I ever even considered. I still might do them after Dreaming is done. But that’s paced so slowly who knows when that might happen. Otherwise I put stuff in my notes and just do shorts of it if I’m like “oh you know what’s cool???” but since I can’t daydream maybe this question doesn’t apply to me.

26. Is there anything you’ve wanted to write, but you’ve been too scared to try? I want to do more autism stuff, and I’ve had it demanded a few times, but I’m scared of being that explict about it for some reason. Possibly because I might be, possibly because I’m scared of doing it wrong even though I’ve accidentally coded multiple characters autistic. I’m scared of explictly tagging them as such, too. 

27. What’s the nicest comment you’ve ever received? That I can remember off the top of my head? I’m going with one from @a-genz-with-trauma-and-kins. It really helped me out and was just so kind and literally the best christmas gift I got in 2020. 

28. How well do you handle criticism when it comes to your writing? I can handle it alright but Daeram is a little fucking pissbaby about it. Constructive criticism helps people get better, so I appreciate it. I can’t handle critism that is incomplete, though. “i just don’t get it” or “I don’t know I don’t like it” kind of things. If I can’t understand the why to fix it then things get out of control. And then I spiral and RSD for like four days minimum. If it came from an anon or a troll, too, It might not bother me for as long. Things that are just like “this is shit and you should feel bad” just make me laugh. Couldn’t even bother to read it long enough to insult me proper? I don’t care.

29. Have you ever gone outside of your comfort zone for a fic? How did it turn out? I have a few times. Mostly in shorts and prompts, I think. I think they turned out okay. They’re not particularly inspired or anything.

30. Tooth-rotting fluff or merciless angst? Depends on my mood. Am I triggered? give me the fluff. Am I vibin? Angst. 

31. Do you have any OCs? Tell us about them! Fuck, fam, no, I can’t, I have so many. I have multiple original stories and some of them have very large casts and like holy fuck. Or do you mean in Sanders Sides fandom? Um, Morgan and Thorn in PD. The lesbian and her himbo dynamic. I love them. They’re dorks. Morgan is strong person with sharp tongue and soft romantic heart and Thorn is just so kind and so dumb and so exciteable he’s like a puppy. They were just filler characters and I got attached to them. Felton even gets redemption for being an ass later in PD, like oof i never intended to include so much OC content, especially for names I just picked randomly. 

32. Summarize a random fic of yours in 10 words or less. nope I’m doing all of them because these are fun plea for my new self: 2 gay vampires, 4 humans, 1 braincell dreaming while I wake: trauma child needs therapy and so do you break: big oof, oh dragons, oh why, go virgil go rebuild: virgil is so not okay there’s more virgil to deal painful death: gay teens drink themselves into a new religion stargazing: whoops we didn’t realize people actually cared whole castle: everyone will throw down for kid!patton, even you incorrigible: found family with a shot of psychological horror and crack dangerous instincts: wholesome crime syndacite action  slopes: addict gets mugged and thinks that’s just fine with him conflagration: logan avoids everything ever like a champ cat!remus: bored fae shifts gay pining from one person to another  caffeine cyptids: caffinated gay panic goes faster than regular gay panic eglantine & lycoris: more tropes than you can toss a shoe at storytime: overpowered virgil also overreacts literally always

33. Is there anything you wish your audience knew about your writing or writing process? an alter and I write together and I have absolutely no idea what’s going to happen, what I’m writing about, or even what year it is. I often don’t even remember what I wrote. There’s no outline. I have an idea and I pick things at random for it. There’s just notes and an evil gleam in a demon’s eye. The only reason I know more than readers is because I take a long time to edit and some of these stories have fucking alters up in my head who can tell me things. Daeram tells me nothing. The writing demon supposedly has all this knowledge but I have absolutely no clue because he does not talk to me, he just fronts and slams out 9k in a few hours or we cofront to write and I’m like “oh no she didn’t” while typing 

34. Copy and paste an excerpt you’re particularly fond of. i’m fond of the entire painful death series and I tried to find something I really liked without spoilers in stargazing and I couldn’t so here’s a random thing from incorrigble: “So, what do you do with your friends?” Patton continued on with a megawatt smile. “Grand larceny,” Virgil deadpanned and glared at Patton, who was taken aback. Remy and Andy just broke out laughing while Virgil tentatively sipped his still-too-hot-cocoa. 

35. Ramble about any fic-related thing you want!  slopes my dudes slopes i have learned so much about cocaine! like wow! I thought for a minute it was going to end with MCD around 30k but it swtiched from whump to hurt/comfort and I still don’t know if it’s going to be MCD but look at that funky little coke/alcohol addict go, it’s a medical wonder he’s alive! It’s not like there’s what seems to be a little talked about interaction between alcohol and cocaine that causes a toxic chemical to build up in the liver which can result in liver failure and sudden death at basically any moment! Which is part of why it may result in MCD but this time no ghosts! maybe it’ll be h/c with whump elements or maybe it’ll be whump with h/c elements we can’t know for sure

[entity9silvergen]

Oblique- Chapter 3 (Sanders Sides Fanfiction)

Previous Chapter, Full Story

Story Info:

Summary: Unable to experience romantic attraction, Remus feels incomplete. Unable to feel sexual attraction, Roman feels less than. Maybe as the King, they decide, they will feel whole again. Their partners and friends, however, know this isn’t the solution and seek to help them realize there’s nothing broken about them before it’s too late.

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Characters: Logan, Patton, Roman, Virgil, Nate, Remy, Emile, Seth, Toby, Janus, Remus, Unnamed Orange Side, Romulus, Dragon Witch

Relationships: Logan/ Patton, Virgil/ Roman, Janus/ Remus, Remy/ Emile, Toby/ Seth, Nate/ Orange Side

Other Tags: AroWriMo, Aromantic Remus, Asexual Roman, Spider Virgil, Snake Janus, Orange Side, 7th Side, Additional Sides, No OCs, Short Vid Characters

Author’s Note: This chapter takes place directly after chapter 1.

Warnings: Internalized acephobia, internalized arophobia, minor fighting, mentions of sex

======================

King Creativity. The most powerful of all the Sides, an omnipotent force of Thomas’s mind.

Romulus. An old friend to many Sides, someone who vanished long ago.

Two sides of the same coin. 

Virgil knew him as the King. Janus knew him as Romulus. That probably had something to do with the vast difference in their reactions. Virgil hadn’t been around when Romulus was. He’d formed much later but Logan, Patton, Janus, and Remy had told him a bit. Roman and Remus didn’t remember much, Seth had formed right after, and the rest of the Sides hadn’t appeared until the time Virgil had so they soaked up the stories like sponges. 

Logan often spoke of his abilities. He could do so much. He gave Thomas so many ideas and could bend the mindpalace with a mere thought. Patton liked to play with him. As children, they had many adventures together. Remy’s stories were more real. Just little tidbits about his quirks and personality, often teasing and fond. And Janus… He was Janus’s friend. Which must be why Janus looked so shocked right now.

Virgil couldn’t imagine what he must be feeling right now. As much as he and Janus hissed and fought, Virgil felt something akin to friendship for him deep down. He would never wish the sheer pain Janus had on his face onto anyone.

Was he happy to see his friend? Relieved to see him whole once more? Or was he horrified his partner was gone? That Remus had done something so drastic without telling him? Was he afraid of the King’s power? Virgil didn’t know. It was hard to read Janus’s face sometimes. Good feelings, bad feelings, it was all there in a big melting pot. Virgil wanted to slap him. When Virgil looked at the King, all he could see was something that had stolen Roman from him. He couldn’t hope to fathom Janus’s thoughts.

And that made him angry. 

Not at Janus. At Romulus, the King. And maybe Remus. Roman would never want to merge. He’d bet almost anything that Remus made him. He wouldn’t be surprised. Remus was always jealous of Roman’s role in Thomas’s mind. That he was the more dominant side of creativity. The King was powerful. He’d just taken out the Dragon Witch without breaking a sweat, for fuck’s sake. Remus probably wanted that power. Right? Maybe? Possibly? He knew it was cruel and unfair to pin everything on Remus but he couldn’t bear the thought of Roman willingly leaving him right now.

But when the King sauntered over, Virgil couldn’t bring himself to hate him.

The group hadn’t moved. Remy, Logan, and Janus were all standing around him, shocked and emotional at the sight of Romulus, on what had been a battlefield not a minute ago. None of them moved, somewhere between frozen in shock and wanting to run to the man who’d been their friend so long ago. But as the King neared, it became apparent something was wrong.

“Help me,” the King croaked as he stumbled over. Tears ran down his face, leaving clear tracks through the dirt caked on his skin. His steps were uneven as he stumbled and his weapons fell from his hands. He crouched down but he didn’t try to pick them up, instead just letting himself collapse onto his knees. “Help me.”

“What’s wrong with him?” Remy asked, visibly alarmed as the King reached out weakly for them.

“I think- I don’t think they merged properly,” Logan stuttered out. He stared at the grey-clad man with wide eyes before somewhat regaining his composure enough to explain himself properly. “Roman and Remus have always been able to refuse if they wish. They-”

“They have,” Remy interrupted. His sunglasses had somehow returned to his face but it was clear his eyes were fixed on the King behind them. “Not often but they have. A couple times. Here. In the dreamscape. By accident. And on purpose. They haven’t done it in years. But it was always fine. And Romu- The King never looked like this.”

“It feels wrong!” the King screamed into his hands, seeming to forget the other Sides were there. “It feels so wrong. What’s wrong with me?”

“They must not have been in the right state of mind when they fused,” Logan continued hurriedly. “He seems to be in pain. Perhaps Roman and Remus were distressed when they attempted to fuse? And that caused… this.”

“It hurts,” the King moaned. “The reflection’s gone. It’s not art, it’s not bleeding. It’s just empty. It was empty before but now… I thought I’d be whole! But it just feels worse.”

“What’s he talking about?” Virgil asked, sliding a foot back defensively. “He’s not making any sense.”

The other Sides ignored him. Janus got on his knees and took Romulus outstretched hand before glancing back at the others. Worry shined in his yellow eyes. “We have to help him.”

“I don’t think we can-”

Logan was interrupted when the world cracked.

A massive fissure sliced through the terrain, unnatural rays of light flowing out of it. Smaller cracks appeared in the earth around it, these ones filled with unnatural wails and shrieks. Virgil could feel his spiderlegs begin to sprout from his back as his guard went up. Something was coming.

Tentacles shot out of the holes like trees in a forest and unholy creatures began crawling out of the fissures. The cracks and tentacles cut off Virgil’s line of sight and he lost view of the others. Logan and Remy, he knew, were together and he’d bet Janus and Romulus were close to each other. It was just Virgil who was isolated.

Not for long though. Virgil extended his extra climbs, lifting himself to the air, and waded through the forest of writhing tentacles in search of the other Sides. There weren’t any creatures going after him quite yet but he didn’t doubt they would soon.

“Someone get help!” Virgil yelled into the void as he kicked a tentacle that suddenly lunged for him. “Tell them the dreamspace is attacking!”

=================

“Someone get help! Tell them the dreamspace is attacking!”

Janus heard Virgil’s voice but he couldn’t see him. He couldn’t see much of anything. He wasn’t really sure where Romulus was anymore. He’d been right next to him but then the world began shaking and a wave of anguish barreled into him and he was knocked senseless.

Was this what Romulus was feeling? What Roman and Remus were feeling when they tried to merge? What was making the dreamscape so disordered? If so, Janus couldn’t blame them. It was an overwhelming feeling and he was just experiencing it secondhand. If this was what they were feeling, he was surprised the situation wasn’t worse.

The feeling began to fade, just a little bit. Chances were that the King was just moving away from him, not that he was getting his emotions under control. The world around him was still as entropic as before. Maybe even more so. He could hear the roars and bellows of manticore chimeras crawling out of the ground. The tentacles reached for the sky, growing thick and dense like a forest. Carnage had enveloped the dreamspace.

But Janus was a slippery snake and he knew how to avoid this kind of chaos, well experienced too. He weaved between the trunks of the tentacles and avoided the creatures surfacing from the terrain and made a break for the exit.

The exit to the Sides’ rooms and realms wasn’t a true exit. There was no door or portal to step through. Just a vague ring where Sides could sink out, rise up, or appear freely. The area was currently untouched by the King’s creations and Janus wasted no time throwing himself onto it and sinking out.

His momentum made the transportation awkward. He ended up appearing a couple feet off the living room floor at an odd angle and fell onto Patton’s lap, kicking something out of Toby’s hands in the process.

“Shit!”

“My pokemon!” Toby yelped, scrambling to catch his DS before it hit the ground.

“It’s a turn based rpg, you don’t need to- It’s fine if you drop it,” Seth sighed as Janus rolled off Patton and onto the floor. “You okay, man?”

“Everything is great,” Janus responded, feeling the lie slip out. “Roman and Remus totally haven’t merged and the dreamscape is very calm and peaceful right now. I definitely know if Logan, Remy, and Virgil are okay.”

“Oh that’s good,” Patton said pleasantly. Then he seemed to catch up. “Wait…”

“What the fuck?” OJ said, sitting up from where he was lying on the floor a few feet away from Janus. “That’s… What the fuck? Why?”

“I know,” Janus exclaimed. He got to his feet. “Don’t follow me. We should totally let them all die.”

“Oh no,” Patton whimpered as everyone got to their feet and followed Janus as he sprinted back towards Remy’s room. “I hope everyone’s okay.”

“I doubt they are but we should be able to help if we get there fast enough,” Emile assured him. He broke ahead of the group and opened Remy’s door, ushering everyone inside.

Last time, they hadn’t needed to visit Remy’s room to get to the dreamspace but thankfully Emile seemed to know his way around the sassy Side’s room. If the situation was any less dire, Janus would’ve taken the time to soak in the messy array of coffee cups, scarves, and hoodies. Thomas really needed to work on his self-care habits but they could worry about that later. Creativity was the concern right now.

“Walk through here,” Emile instructed, opening Remy’s closet. Janus didn’t hesitate and stepped in, standing back on the teleportation ring in the dreamspace in a heartbeat.

The other Sides seemed a bit put off by the unusual method of transport but quickly forgot about it when they saw the state the dreamspace was in. The forest of tentacles had expanded into something akin to a lush redwood forest, the tendrils stretching like the tails of cats until they licked the clouds, and the gaps in the terrain had only grown wider. And, now the creatures that lurked within were visible. 

Horrendous mash ups of animals were prowling around, some on the ground and some in the air. Their eyes flashed red and green as they yowled. Janus normally didn’t care for the fabrications of dreams but his heart went out for them. Their anguish was reflecting Romulus’s. They had to help him.

“Seth, Patton, don’t find Logan and Remy. Put them in danger. Make sure you stay in harm’s way,” Janus barked, his tongue still doing strange things in his mouth. Was he panicking? Maybe. He couldn’t remember the last time he had this little control over his lies. It was fine though, everyone knew how to decipher his speech when he was like this. “Toby, OJ, Nate, play with the creatures. Let them hurt you. Make them grow. I’m not going to look for Romulus and Emile shouldn’t come with me.”

Everyone seemed to understand his orders except Patton but Seth dragged the fatherly figment after him without resistance. OJ made some snappy remark but Janus was too distracted to hear what it was. Soon, it was only him and Emile.

“Do you know where he could be?” Emile asked, eyeing the horizon warily. The whole dreamscape was disordered. It’s dreamlike, fuzzy quality had somehow grown more intense and faded. Maybe that was what happened during nightmares? Shit, Janus hoped Thomas wasn’t sleeping right now.

“Yes,” Janus answered, looking around for any sign of the King. “I think- Don’t look. There’s Virgil. Down there.”

Emile looked down before realizing it was one of Janus’s twisted sentences. Virgil was using his spiderlegs to climb up one of the tentacles. That one looked dead, dried and unmoving. He was pretty far and pretty high up. Janus didn’t know if their voices could reach him at that altitude. But then Virgil seemed to spot something in the distance and took off, leaping between the tree-like structures.

“Follow him!” Emile exclaimed as he began hurrying after him. Janus could feel his serpentine characteristics grow more prominent as his adrenaline kicked in. Vision sharper and movements more agile, he quickly pulled ahead of the therapist and disappeared deeper into the bizarre jungle.

He only slowed down when Virgil began sliding down one of the tendrils and landed heavily in a clear patch in the frenzy of plants and animals. He froze, not advancing any further, which gave Janus a chance to catch up.

It was a relief not being surrounded by those thick, winding pillars and atrocious creatures but the clearing was unsettling in a different way. Within it stood Romulus. Janus felt a flash of joy upon the sight of him but it was quashed immediately by the dire sense in the air. They were in the eye of the storm and it was clear Romulus was its source. 

The King was sitting. He looked so much like Remus right now. Remus wasn’t good with feelings. He was normally very expressive but not always in a positive way. He always made the most destructive creations to let his feelings out. But when it was bad, he’d just curl up. He didn’t think Janus knew but there were so many times Remus would just sit in the shower or ina closet and cry. It was worrying but Remus always came out feeling better, ready to make a brand new slime pit or cut nipple holes on OJ’s shirts.

Janus could imagine Roman coping similarly but he’d never seen it himself. Roman always had more positive creations but they were more uniform than emotive. The things of stories and fantasy, creative in their own right but not the way Remus was. He’d bury his feelings with stories and wild adventures. Maybe he sat like this too, when he was alone and at his worst.

It’d been a long time since Janus had seen Romulus. They’d still been kids, still playful and innocent. Unseparated by the idea of Light, Dark, and Neutral. They’d been a family. Right now, sitting in the one tranquil spot in the middle of a sea of horror and havoc, Romulus looked like that kid again. And that hurt Janus somewhere deep down.

This was his friend but it also… wasn’t. This was some uneven fusion of Remus and Roman, not a true King Creativity. He was his own man but he’d still taken Roman and Remus and it was painful to be reunited with him knowing the brothers were sacrificed to let it happen.

And it was no solace knowing the King was so distressed. No, that made it worse. If Romulus was acting normal, then at least he knew Remus was doing okay. But with the world falling apart more and more by the second, Janus couldn’t help but be afraid. For Thomas’s safety, for Remus and Roman, for Romulus, for his fellow Sides, everything.

Romulus seemed to notice the newcomers and looked up. He seemed to relax a bit at the sight of them. He was still a mess but he looked a bit more like his old self. God, Janus really wished he had the chance to see his friend in all his former glory. Not this… shell of the man he was meant to be. Janus didn’t want Remus and Roman gone but Romulus deserved peace as well.

“Dee,” Romulus whispered and reached out. Janus went to his side in a heartbeat, despite Virgil’s glares, but stayed silent. He wanted to comfort him but he didn’t trust his mouth right now. His presence seemed to be enough though. Romulus smiled, a look of happiness filling his eyes, but his face was still tight and uncomfortable. “I don’t understand what’s happening to me. This has never happened before.”

“Logan said you fused wrong,” Virgil told him, coming over. He looked uncertain, like he was meeting a stranger. Maybe he was, maybe he wasn’t. Janus didn’t bother dwelling on it.

“I’ve never… that’s never happened before,” Romulus said quietly with a frown. He hiccuped. “Normally… Normally I just feel whole again. My two Sides come together and then I come back. I spend time with Remy and I use my powers then I split again. Which hurts. A lot. But, guys, this hurts even more than splitting. It- It feels like something’s wrong. I just want… I want to separate again. Please, help me.”

Janus had never seen Romulus so… sniveling. He always acted so regal and grand. Strong and confident. Something must really be wrong to make him like this. What had been going through Roman and Remus’s minds when they fused? Janus didn’t even know they could fuse but it sounded like something both of them would hate. What was so bad that they felt like they had to?

“How do you separate normally?” Virgil asked, shifting onto his knees so he was on eye level with the King.

“I don’t know! I think… Normally it wears off?”

“Wears off?”

“I never want to unfuse but I think Roman and Remus do? I split when we all start getting tired. I’ve tried splitting myself but we’ve been apart for so long. I still feel… It feels like I should be together longer but it just feels so bad. I want to unfuse but I can’t.”

Janus glanced at Virgil, sensing that this was more up Virgil’s alley than his. “You know who I am, right? I’m Anxiety. I know how it can feel to be overwhelmed and how hard it is to regain control when I’m like this. But it’s possible. Just breathe with me. Come on, let’s breathe in for four seconds. One… two… three… four… Good, now hold it for eight. One… two…”

Janus coiled up beside Romulus, leaning on him slightly, as he tapped along to Virgil’s counting on the back of Romulus’s hand. The touch could be grounding or overstimulating, Janus didn’t know, but Romulus didn’t protest so he figured it was helping. They ran through the exercise a couple times before Janus could feel some of the distress wash away from Romulus’s body. And soon, he began to split.

======================

Emile was a bit annoyed when Janus abandoned him but he couldn’t hold it against him. He’d be worried if something happened to Remy, though this situation was far more than just the disappearance of a partner. Emile knew he could never really relate to what Janus was feeling at the moment so he wasn’t that mad.

He ended up having to fight off a manticore chimera on his own. Difficult, considering Emile was far from a fighter. Unlike the Dark Sides, he had no unique animal abilities and unlike the Light Sides, he didn’t have the raw power to turn the tides of a battle in his favor. He ended up just running around in circles until his screams attracted another one and the second beast attacked the first. Not the best strategy, Emile knew, but it worked so he couldn’t complain.

He found Janus in a sheltered haven separated from the madness the rest of the dreamspace had fallen into. It was oddly quiet in there, save the low voices of the people within. Janus was there, along with Virgil and a man Emile could only assume to be the King. He’d never met him himself but Remy liked telling stories about him. This man fit his descriptions perfectly.

Well, almost perfectly. He looked kind of crumpled right now. Upset. Lost. Emile’s heart immediately went out for him. He wanted to help, to talk to him and figure out what was wrong so he could make the pain go away. Janus and Virgil seemed to have it handled though. They were guiding him through one of Virgil’s breathing exercises. Virgil and Janus’s extra limbs and scales had receded and the King looked much calmer as well. Already things were looking brighter.

Soon enough, the King had split and Roman and Remus lay in the stained grass.

Roman was coughing. Remus was lying on his back taking deep, heaving breaths. Their grip on the dreamspace slipped and things seemed to calm a bit but they both still looked wild, overwhelmed, and confused. Emile felt like this was a good time to make his presence known.

Both Janus and Virgil spared him a glance when he moved inward but they were focused on comforting their respective partners. Both twins were gasping for air, eyes and noses running. They were holding onto each other, like they weren’t quite ready to be apart yet, but also clung to their partners like lifelines. Neither had noticed Emile yet.

Emile got down as slowly and quietly as he could, coming into the brothers’ line of sight. He offered a weak smile and felt a flash of relief when he saw the recognition in their eyes. He was familiar with fusions, being a fan of Steven Universe and all, but this was real life. Roman and Remus had lost their memories after the first split, he had no reason to think now would be any different.

“Why did you feel like you had to split? Is there something wrong?” Virgil asked as quietly as he could after a few minutes. In his hold, Roman visibly stiffened. Remus looked away, not wanting to answer the question either. “It’s okay if you don’t want to talk right now but…”

“You scared us,” Janus jumped in. Remus wiggled a bit so more of his body was draped over him. “I know you didn’t mean to but I don’t know how we can help you if you don’t talk to us.”

Remus and Roman exchanged a glance. Emile could sense their hesitance. And a number of other emotions. He wasn’t as empathic as Patton but he was still Thomas’s inner therapist and was strongly connected to the mental wellbeing of everyone in the mindscape. He could probably understand what was happening better than anyone.

“You feel inadequate,” Emile spoke up, trying to voice their feelings to the best of his ability. “You felt like something was missing. You thought that feeling would go away if you fused.”

“We thought we’d be whole,” Roman admitted softly, “but we just felt more broken.”

“Logan said something about their feelings affecting the fusion?” Virgil brought up. “Could that be part of it?”

Emile shrugged. “Maybe that was why Romulus was so distressed but it probably didn’t affect the fusion. Roman and Remus are their own fully fledged, complete, rounded Sides now. They’re not meant to do that.”

“If we’re supposed to be complete, then why do we feel so broken?” Remus asked, sounding more hopeless than Emile thought the normally joyous Side was capable of. 

“You’re not broken,” Janus soothed. Remus’s face said he felt otherwise. “Why would you think that? Because of the split? That was so long ago.”

“Because we lack what the other has,” Roman spoke up. He stared at the ground, not wanting to meet anyone’s gaze. “I can- I feel so much love. But Remus doesn’t. Not like me. And he can do… stuff. I can’t. It makes me feel weird. Like it’s wrong.”

“That’s what this is about? Roman, it’s fine if you don’t want to-”

“But I told you, I do want to,” Roman interrupted his boyfriend. “I want to feel… those feelings but I just can’t. And trying makes me feel bad.”

Emile was confused for a moment but Remus was nodding along like he understood. “We feel incomplete. We thought maybe we’d get those feelings if we were one again but we just… didn’t. I don’t understand why. Maybe Logan was right about our feelings affecting the fusion. Maybe we needed to calm down first or something.”

Something clicked in Emile’s mind. “You’re aspec.”

The four Sides titled their heads to look at him. “What?”

Emile smiled. Everything was making sense. “You’re aspec. Aspec, it’s an umbrella term for people on the asexual and aromantic spectrum. You see, there are different kinds of attraction but sometimes people don’t experience one or two or any of them. And that’s okay. It’s natural in humans. It probably has nothing to do with the split. It sounds like Romulus is aroace himself.”

“...What?”

“Say again?”

“Sorry,” Emile said and tried to slow down. “So, you understand attraction, yes? It’s a feeling, a desire. What draws us to others. Sexual attraction is what gives us the desire to perform sexual actions with people and do more physical things with a partner. Romantic attraction is what gives us the desire to pursue a romantic relationship and do things typically associated with the emotional side of a relationship. Most people experience both but some people only experience one or neither. Someone who doesn’t experience sexual attraction is asexual, or ace, and someone who doesn’t experience romantic attraction is aromantic, or aro.

“Asexuality is a spectrum. A lot of different experiences fit into the term and some asexuals still like or want to have sex. The same goes for aromanticism. A lot of aspec people are in queer platonic relationships that aren’t romantic or sexual in nature but aren’t necessarily  not. Those relationships are still equal to romantic or sexual ones. There are many kinds of love but it’s also okay to be loveless. That doesn’t make us any less human- er, doesn’t make us any less of a Side.”

Emile was not expecting Remus to burst out crying when he finished.

He wasn’t sure if he’d ever seen Remus cry. What he’d been doing before was silent, more of a reaction to being overwhelmed than crying. But here he was, sniffling and sobbing his heart out. Janus made a noise of concern but Remus was smiling.

“Thank you,” Remus breathed. Emile had never heard more gratitude in anyone’s voice before. “I felt so wrong for so long. I owned it, obviously, but I still felt so bad all the time. And- and now you’re telling me that it’s okay? That it’s normal not to feel love? I mean, I care about you, Janus, but I don’t think it’s the same way you love me. Is that okay?”

Janus gave him a watery smile and nodded genuinely. “It is, Remus. I’ve told you so many times, you’re more than enough. I’m just happy you can understand that now.”

Roman smiled at his brother, looking happy for him, but there was still something hidden behind his features. ��I don’t… I don’t feel that way. I still feel kind of broken. Are you sure this isn’t from the split?”

Emile nodded. “Like I said, you’re your own Side now. And asexuality and aromanticism occur naturally in humans. There isn’t a reason for it other than that’s just how they are. A lot of people on the asexual and aromantic spectrum still feel broken though. There’s a word they use to describe it. Amatonormativity is the expectation that happiness comes from the pursuit and maintaining a monogamous, heterosexual relationship that is both romantic and sexual in nature. Even if you disagree with it, we still feel that pressure and it can take time to accept who you are.”

“I- thank you, Emile. I’m truly grateful,” Roman said before glancing at Virgil. “I think… I think I need some time to figure this out. For me. It has nothing to do with you though. You know I still love you, right?”

Virgil nodded. “Yeah. I know. And there’s no hurry to figure yourself out, Princey. Remember how long it took us to accept we’re gay? We all did it at our own times. This isn’t any different.”

“We should probably find the others,” Emile said, getting to his feet. Roman and Remus jolted, started. They looked around as if they were seeing their surroundings for the first time. They might as well have, being as disoriented from the split as they were. But the others would be worried and they shouldn’t waste time.

“We did this?” Remus whispered before breaking into a grin and springing up to survey the cove cut out from the forest of tentacles and listen for the howls of manticore chimeras. “Nice!”

“What do we tell the others?” Roman said in a more serious tone, rising to his feet but still leaning heavily on Virgil. 

“Whatever you want,” Emile told him. He glanced between both Remus and Roman. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. Aspecs are as valid as any other member of the lgbt community. You don’t need to come out if you don’t want to or you’re not ready.”

“I want to,” Roman said, “but I’m not ready. Um, Janus, can you come up with some good excuse? That’s at least kind of believable?”

Janus smirked. “What kind of amateur do you take me for? Deceit’s the name and lying’s my game. Those suckers won’t know what hit them.”

Both Remus and Roman laughed, already sounding better. Emile exchanged a glance with Virgil, the other Side looking a lot less worried than he had a few minutes ago. Everything would be okay. Maybe not yet but soon hopefully. Roman and Remus weren’t broken and now they knew that. It may take awhile for them to accept it but until then, they’d have support from whoever they needed it from.

==================

Author’s Note: The portrayal of the aspec experience in this fic is not 100% spot on. There is a wide variety of experiences and very few are like this. If any of this speaks to you, I encourage you to do further research.

[program-800]

Exploring D:BH Fics (Part 9)

D:BH CHARACTER PROMINENCE IN THE ACTUAL GAME VS AO3 FICS

Which characters are relatively more prominent in canon and are they the same ones prominent in the fandom? I tried my hand at answering that question (quantitatively) and the graph above is the result.

I sorted the graph by prominence in fandom (i.e., percent of character tags received). The graph is meant to act as a rough gauge to identify characters that may have gotten (or lost) prominence when moving from canon to fandom material. The specific percentage numbers between the two sources (canon/fandom) are not directly comparable since prominence had to be operationalised differently between the two sources (all details under the cut). x Interactive versions of all graphs presented (so you can see the numbers clearly, etc) available on my Github page (link in description/tumblr heading!).

Usually I split the methods write-up from the results, but this time I’ll keep them together, again, because the process and assumptions made are especially important for this analysis (for starters, how was prominence even operationalised in canon/fandom material?).

Other work: I - II - III - IV - V - VI - VII - VIII

Before I go into the methods, two questions to think about:

1) There are a lot of ways to talk about the prominence of a character - how many times did they appear (and what counts as an appearance; just walking across the street, or actually being the focus of action)? How much screen-time did they get? How many lines did they say? How many times their name appeared or they were referred to? Maybe even how much influence they had over events?

2) If we’ve settled on an answer for (1), how do we compare that between different mediums? D:BH is a game and fics are, well, mainly text.

These were questions I thought a lot about before proceeding. In the end, I settled for rather simplistic operationalisations. For the actual game, I relied on the dialogue transcriptions from the Detroit: Become Text project. For fics, I relied on the character tags provided by the AO3 authors.

1. D:BH ACTUAL GAME DIALOGUE Dataset: Some people have done wonderful work transcribing most of the dialogue in the actual D:BH game (please see Detroit: Become Text on Github!). I worked with all the material they had - 4728 lines of dialogue.

1.1 Preprocessing Everything was in HTML so it was a simple task of writing some code to pull out the character names and counting the number of dialogue lines each individual had. x Assumption 1: Share of dialogue is indicative of character prominence in the game. I decided on this mainly because I was limited by the information I had (D:BT almost fully transcribes dialogue only) and also because D:BH is a very conversation-heavy game. x Assumption 2: Sometimes characters might be interchangeable for certain lines, e.g. Josh or Simon can tell Markus, “Be careful, Markus. Our people need you.” I chose to drop these lines and not assign them to any character’s count since there were only 15 of them in the whole transcription. x Assumption 3: The game has multiple scenarios based on your choices. I chose not to distinguish between them, taking the whole transcription as a long text document. My justification is that if the writers decided a character was important enough to have/be in several variants of the scenario (think Connor’s multiple endings versus, maybe, the android Markus picked up paint from), I should not discount that.

Following this, I selected 40 named characters (i.e., no random policeman/passer-bys) for visualisation and comparison. These 40 characters together had 3745 transcribed lines.

1.2 Results

Note the percentage is calculated from the lines of these 40 characters only (i.e., does not cover dialogue counts of unnamed policemen, unnamed deviants, etc).

Connor, Kara, and Markus take up almost 50% together. I think Markus has slightly less lines than Connor and Kara since it’s possible for North to take his place. Fan favourites like Gavin hold only a tiny sliver of the pie. Note that according to this operationalisation of prominence, RK900 is at 0% (since he doesn’t say anything in-game).

2. CHARACTER TAGS FROM D:BH AO3 FICS Dataset: 13,933 English-language fics scraped from AO3, spanning May 2018 to mid Oct- 2019.

2.1 Preprocessing I collated all the tags that fell under the AO3 character class (61333 tags). I did a fair bit of manual cleaning as usual (for misspellings, different ways to tag a character, etc). x (Long) assumption: Picking out dialogue lines from fic and attributing it correctly to characters is an extremely difficult task (I think I've seen machine learning papers on it). So, I chose to go with tags - I assumed that characters that are important or at the very least more than a one-liner would receive a tag. At the same time, I assumed that characters that are really just one-liner appearances (like “He saw Nines walk across the room.” with zero mention of Nines in the rest of the fic) would not get tagged.

Clearly this is not foolproof since everyone has different ideas of what constitutes a character that should be tagged, but it’s what I worked with (otherwise I would have to read and check every fic). Stuff to note:

1) Ambiguous tags like “everyone” were not assigned to any character. 2) Tags that mentioned multiple characters (e.g “mentioned North and Josh”) or ships were also not assigned to any character. 3) Tags that were in the style of “Connor (mentioned)” were still added to their respective characters. Again, I think most writers have varying ideas of what a “mention” actually means, so I decided to be less stringent and more inclusive here. 4) Tags for ‘Jericho’  and ‘Jericrew’, etc - I added 0.25 to the counts of Markus, North, Simon, and Josh each time such a tag appeared. Whether I did that or not probably wouldn’t have drastically changed the results though, since there were only 87~ Jericho-related character tags.

I picked out the same 40 named characters I looked at from the actual game dialogue. These 40 characters together had received 53274 tags.

2.2 Results

Again, note the percentage is calculated from the total number of times these 40 characters were tagged (e.g., does not include tag counts for OCs - which were tagged quite a bit as well).

We see Connor still holding on to his share and huge jumps from Gavin and RK900. DPD members in general also seem to have slightly bigger slices of the pie in fandom.

3. Ending notes It’s pretty difficult to see some of the information from the two pie charts, so I put the information from both into the bar chart that I introduced this whole post with:

I can’t emphasise enough that the exact percentage numbers between canon/fandom are not directly comparable since prominence had to be operationalised differently. Nonetheless, I think the chart does capture a trend that reflects my reading experience. Now I just need more spare time/need to kidnap some data minions  so I can work on a more rigorous and direct comparison.

[prettyboyspenceee]

The Party

Request: “Can I request a cute prompt of Spencer surprising the reader with a date to a Jack o Lantern festival? Add all the cute fluff you want! :)” - @usagiroze

A/N: Hiya! This will probably be my last request for a while because I’ll be writing and Spencer Reid x OC story! Anyways, this is part 2 of “The Festival” and it’s the reveal.

Description: When the Reader and Spencer have trouble deciding when to tell the team about their relationship, the perfect opportunity arises.

Character Appearances: Spencer Reid, Jennifer “JJ” Jareau, Emily Prentiss, Derek Morgan, Penelope Garcia, Aaron Hotchner (mentioned), David Rossi (mentioned)

Disclaimer: I don’t know why I still write these. I don’t own Criminal Minds! 

(Y/N) - Your Name

(Y/L/N) - Your Last Name

Word Count: 1,005

Posted: October 20th, 2019

---

You sat at your desk and used your pen as a fidget. It was something you did quite often, so the team didn't think much of it. Truthfully, you were agitated. You and Spencer were planning on telling the team soon but you weren't sure how they would react. 

"Hello, my crime-fighting friends," you smiled as Garcia entered the bullpen, "I cordially invite you all to my Halloween party! If you are not in a costume," she said looking at Spencer, "I will NEVER speak to you again." 

You heard Morgan chuckle, "Now you have to dress up, Pretty Boy."

Spencer nodded, "I guess I do."

You laughed as Penelope exited the bullpen looking satisfied. 

Moments later you felt a buzzing in your pocket, it was a text from Spence. 

[Spencer]: Couples Costume?

You grinned at the text, Spencer was never one to be bold, but this idea was perfect. You sent a quick text back. 

[txt]: I like that idea

You quickly finished your report and headed to Garcia's lair. 

"Enter at your own risk, mortal," Garcia yelled.

"It's me, Penny!"

"(Y/N)! Care Bear! What brings you to my lair?" 

"I need costume ideas," you cleared your throat, "specifically, couples costume ideas."

Her eyebrows shot up, "Couples costume! (Y/N)! Since when?"

You smiled, "You'll find out at your party."

"Keeping me in the dark? Vindictive!" She paused and you could see the gears turning in her head, "Bonnie and Clyde. With our line of work, it's almost perfect. You would look hot!" 

You grinned, it was perfect.

---

You quickly ran into JJ's office and shut the door. 

"(Y/N)? What's wrong?" JJ asked. 

"JJ, everything is perfect."

"Perfect? What's perfect?"

"Bonnie and Clyde. Bonnie and Clyde are perfect."

"(Y/N), do I need to order a drug test? What is so perfect about Bonnie and Clyde?" JJ asked, her voice laced with confusion.

"I'm going to talk to Spence about going to Garcia's party as Bonnie and Clyde."

JJ wiggled her eyebrows, "It's about time."

You laughed and quickly grabbed a case file, "Should I grab this file, so I don't seem too suspicious." 

JJ laughed, "That might be a good idea."

---

You and Spencer had just finished some Chinese take-out and you were enjoying a Harry Potter marathon on Spencer's couch. 

"Hey, Spence," you said, nudging your boyfriend's shoulder. 

"Yeah?"

"I have an idea," you said smiling up at him. 

He hummed, "what is this idea?" 

"We should go to Garcia's party as Bonnie and Clyde."

"Bonnie and Clyde?" Spencer let out a laugh, "that's a bit ironic, don't you think?" 

You shrugged, "Maybe, but Garcia said I would look hot."

He raised his eyebrows, "I might want to see that." 

You smirked, "You will."

---

Penelope was excited, the entire team, excluding you and Spencer, were at her house. JJ, Will and the boys were the Flintstones, Derek and Savannah were Danny and Sandy from Grease, and Emily was Catwoman. 

Hotch and Rossi were with their families but Penelope didn't mind. Penelope was excited to see your costume with your unnamed partner. She wondered why Spencer was late because he was never late... to anything.

---

You had styled your hair the best you could to mimic Bonnie's. JJ had given you an old pencil skirt of hers but you had altered it to fit your frame. You looked at your reflection one last time in the mirror and you smiled, you really did look hot. The shirt you were wearing combined with the skirt and your thigh holster made you feel confident and sexy. 

"Woah," you heard Spencer say. 

You quickly turned around and looked Spencer up and down, his pinstripe suit made you want to jump him right then and there, "Woah yourself," you said with a smirk. 

Spencer checked his watch, "We should get going."

You nodded but you began wringing your hands, "Hey," you felt a hand on your shoulder, "we don't have to do this if you don't want to. We can always do it another day." 

You turned to Spencer, "No, I'm fine! Just a little nervous."

"(Y/N), you heard JJ, the team will be fine."

You took a deep breath, "Alright, let's go."

---

Penelope heard a knock at her door, "Finally! Reid is here."

JJ smirked, "Yup! Finally."

Emily sauntered over to JJ, "Do you know something we don't?" 

"You'll find out soon enough, Em." 

---

As Garcia opened the door she let out a gasp, "No way!" 

"Baby Girl? Are you oka-" Morgan's voice died in his throat. 

"Guys? What's going on?" Emily appeared at the door. 

As you and Spencer walked through the door everyone was in shock. You two were Bonnie and Clyde. 

"Little Mama and Pretty Boy? What the hell?" Derek exclaimed. 

JJ stifled a laugh, "JJ! You knew?" Emily yelled.

"Yeah, me and the boys found out about two weeks ago.  We caught them at the Jack O Lantern festival."

Penelope pulled you and Spencer into a tight hug, "I am still angry at you both for not telling us, but, I can't be too mad. I can't wait for my new god babies." 

"Let them breathe, Baby Girl," Derek said with a laugh. 

"Sorry we're a little late, we got held up."

Emily and Derek chuckled, "We can see that."

You and Spencer looked at them in confusion, "(Y/N), you have a little something on your neck," Emily confirmed.

"Spence! I told you not to leave a mark!" 

"I'm sorry!" He said sheepishly. 

"I don't blame him, Little Mama. If Savannah was dressed like that," he quickly glanced at his girlfriend who was playing with Henry, "we wouldn't have made it out of the house."

You blushed, "We almost didn't," you heard Spencer mumble. 

Emily raised her eyebrows and laughed as you gave Spencer a playful slap on the arm. 

The team burst into a fit of laughter as Spencer sent you a smirk. You rolled your eyes, you were never going to hear the end of this. 

---

tags: @reid-187

[allisondraste]

5 Questions

I was tagged by @tortuosity-writes.  Thank you!  I’m going to answer about my current WIP, Temperance , which is my primary writing focus at this point!

1.) What was the idea that started the story?

It all started with an angst prompt of “Going somewhere?” which I filled and which involved me throwing a wrench into the relationship between Alistair and my Warden OC, Lucia.  To summarize, Luce goes to Amaranthine without Alistair and he assumes the worst.  Once I did that terrible thing, I immediately had to write a fix-it fic in which I put them back together (It’s here, although its no longer completely accurate).  Now, as part of this fix-it fic, I created a Cousland OC with the express purpose of being another wrench in Alistair and Lucia’s relationship.  I did not even bother to come up with a unique name for her, as I expected to use her once and toss her to the side after a squished my OTP back together angstily.  Unfortunately, the unforseeable happened.  Elissa, or “Liss” as I had begun to call her endearingly, developed this charming little personality, and quickly became a favorite character of mine.  She was equal parts kind, funny, and strong, and I just knew that I could not end her story with her being tossed to the side.  She deserved better!  

Prior to writing the story, I had just begun another playthrough of Dragon Age Awakening, and I developed an obsession with mild interest in Nathaniel, and so he ended up becoming Lucia’s main companion in her quest to Denerim to repair her relationship with Alistair.  I originally intended, right until the middle of the story for him and Anora to have A Thing.  However, as the story was drawing to a close, and as I became to Liss, it hit me.  A Nate/Cousland pairing would be really fun and solve my problem.  Not only would it let me do something with my new OC, but it also gave me a reason to explore Nathaniel’s character further, and to write a story that allowed me to explore themes I love like coming of age, resilience, and intimacy that defies any typical sense of the word.   Thus the fic was born. 

2.) Did you make an outline? Did you stick to it?

Back in March of 2019, I sat down for three hours and mapped out the fic.  I knew that I needed some semblance of structure because my one previous attempt at a long fic failed miserably due to my lack of plan and direction.  Also because I intended to jump back and forth between the past and the present, with certain key moments mirroring one another.  I knew that it would take some forethought to make that work.  I started out with 25 chapters to complete the story, and estimeated a wordcount of about 72K.  While I stuck to the original pattern, I realized that there was so much more of the story (particularly the past) that I wanted to tell, and so I ended up adding chapters.  My chapters also grew in length. So now I have 41 chapters plus an epilogue planned, and I just finished up Chapter 30. 

3.) What’s the favorite part of your story?

It’s really hard to say what is my favorite part of the story since it is in progress, but I do know that there are certain types of scenes that I have enjoyed writing the most.  I’ve really loved delving into platonic relationships, especially the relationship between Nathaniel and Fergus, which is something that just organically developed as I was writing.  I loved delving into family dynamics and the different relationships that these characters had with one another.  

Outside of that, proably my favorite part(s) so far have been when Liss and Nate first met, Nate’s last summer in Highever, the reunion, and the most recent chapter that I based off of Nate’s entry in World of Thedas Vol. 2.  It’s all been fun, but those were the funnest! ;D

4.) Who is your favorite character and why?

I have several favorite characters, some of them expected (Nathaniel and Liss, of course), but others that surprised me that I enjoyed writing them so much.  Fergus Cousland is one character that I have written that I just absolutely adore.  He often acts as the voice of the writer (as well as the reader from time to time), and so he gets to say the things we all want to scream at the main actors in the story. Another character that I’ve developed such a fondness for, even in his incredibly small role, Benedict “Ben” Kenric, one of Bram Kenric’s “unnamed” siblings that I gave a name and a personality, and who is just an absolute puppy dog of a human.  He’s a fellow squire of Nate’s in Starkhaven and a really close, loyal friend. A real Ride or Die kind of person. 

5.) Did anything happen that surprised you as you were writing?

Loads!  I think some of the more surprising “huh, Allison.  Didn’t expect that one,” things include: retconning Thomas Howe’s death, a thing that wasn’t a thing with Sebastian Vael, and the fact that I absolutely LOVE writing Rendon Howe (even as much as I want to kick him in the stomach every time he shows up in a chapter).   One surprise that is not related to the actual writing of the story itself has been the immense outpouring of encouragement and support that I’ve gotten since I started writing.  I’ve been very fortunate, and it’s made the journey so much fun!

I’ll tag @ravenqueen89, @chaotic-good-hawke, @darlingrutherford @bitchesofostwick , @laurelsofhighever , and anyone else who sees this and would like a reason to talk about their projects, both complete and WIPs. (No obligations of course!!)

[toads-treasures]

OC Companion Meme

I was tagged by the fantastic @metalforhands​!! Thank you so much for the tag and I’m so sorry it took me so long to get to it!! This was harder than I expected lol. So guess who had to come up with a very elaborate AU because I am just that Extra?

Whoever wants to do this have a whack at it and tag me!!! It was actually super fun to think about! I don’t know how well I did with the companion perk but, uh, lol I tried. Let me remind you guys, I’ve only played Fallout 4 once and for like 20 minutes. I might have gotten a lot of stuff wrong here but it was fun, okay?

Nora Lee

Where you find her:

To have Nora as a companion you must first complete the Quest: Strictly Business which will be triggered after you talk to her for the first time. She can be found at Bunker Hill, standing next to a small caravan and arguing with a named Gunner, Carson Thorne. The Sole Survivor can overhear the last bit of dialogue from Thorne.

Thorne: “You gotta understand sweetheart, the ‘Wealth is more dangerous than you’d think. It’s just good business.”

Nora:“Take your business and shove it up your ass Thorne, I don’t need you and your overpriced ego telling me how to run my family’s operations. Now get the hell out of here.”

Thorne: “Your funeral, sweetheart.”

Thorne will walk past the sole survivor and Sole can then pass an easy charisma check and ask Nora what the conversation was about. She’ll tell the sole survivor that Carson Thorne has been trying to get her to hire the gunners as protection for her caravan ever since she and her party (herself, and two unnamed merchants) arrived in the Commonwealth two months ago, attempting to gather more books for her mother’s library as well as expand the trade of her grandfather’s tobacco trade into Commonwealth. 

Her caravan had been doing well except for these last few weeks they’ve been attacked by the same raider gang every time they attempt to leave Bunker Hill. She’s convinced that the raiders have been hired by Thorne in order to force Nora’s hand and hire the gunners.

The sole survivor can then offer to help Nora or pass a difficult charisma check and convince Nora to hire them in order to deal with Thorne. (The Sole Survivor can pass further speech checks to get the initial price of 150 up to 200 caps)

The sole survivor can then find Thorne and either A) convince/threaten him to leave Nora and her caravan alone or B) kill him. With either of this options the sole survivor will go back to Nora and explain what happened. She’ll be grudgingly impressed either way (more so Sole has successfully convinced him to leave her alone without killing him) and tell the Sole Survivor, “But there's still the raider gang to deal with. How good of a shot are you?”

The sole survivor and Nora eliminate the raider gang together, leaving her caravan behind and going out to find the raiders themselves.  Sole can either dismiss her or ask if she’d like to go with them. She’ll respond:“After what you did with Thorne? I’d follow you anywhere, [flustered] I mean...uh, yes, why not?”

After that she is no longer available as a merchant to the player, but her caravan will continue her trade routes and will sell to the Sole Survivor at a discount.

WEAPONS OF CHOICE: Standard 9 mm pistol, sighted hunting rifle, and a unique knife that looks like this: It’s a bookbinding knife.

Nora always has unburned books in her inventory and in one of her affinity talks mentions that her mother taught her how to restore old books and gave her the knife.

Idle Dialogue:

“You’d be surprised at one of they key ingredients for a good book binding glue. It comes from Deathclaws. So, of course, I don’t get it very often.”

“Biggest bummer of the apocalypse is no one has time to just kick back and read now.”

(If raining) “No no no! The spines still haven’t set in my last copy of Dickens!”

At Boston Public Library: “(Softly) Can you imagine what this place must have been like back then? It must have been, oh...sorry…”

At College Square: “Oh what I wouldn’t give to have seen this place in its hay day. More intellectual and less….feral.”

[humming, whistling or singing to player’s radio]

“I’m guessing librarians back in the day didn’t have to carry around so much firepower, huh?”

I THINK WE SHOULD TRAVEL TOGETHER:

“You do seem to cover a lot of ground, I wouldn’t mind tagging along.”

“Okay, but no complaining if I search for more inventory along the way, alright?”

Romanced- “Of course, love. Lead the way.”

Use Melee:

“If this dulls my knife you’re finding me a new one. And they’re not easy to track down.”

“Ugh, if you’re certain.”

“Down and dirty, huh?”

“Why are you like this?”

Use range:

“That’s more like it.”

“Trust me, they’ll never see it coming.”

“Much more my speed if I’m honest.”

Open Inventory:

“Don’t touch my Vonnegut, it’s mint condition. Or as close as I can get it anyway.”

“What’s mine is yours I suppose.”

“If you wanna carry some of these, be my guest, my back is killing me.”

If over encumbered:

“And I thought I was a pack rat.”

“I keep telling you we should get a brahmin.”

“Even I can tell that’s too much,”

Romanced- “Darling I’d hate to have to leave you behind because you’re too slow, (laughs) I’m just teasing, let me take some of that, won’t you?”

Stay Close:

(If low affinity) “I’m not much of a cuddler so don’t get any ideas.”

“Don’t get familiar. This knife is small but it’s sharper than you’d think.”

(Mid to high affinity) “If you like.”

“I’ve got your back, not to worry.”

Keep Your Distance:

“Thank God, you’re not exactly fresh as a daisy you know.”

“I do distance a little better if I’m honest.”

“I’ve still got your back, love,”

STEALTH:

“I can be quiet, it’s you I’m worried about. You’re carrying about thirteen desk fans.”

“I was raised by a librarian, remember? Quiet is my specialty.”

BE PASSIVE:

“What’s that old adage? Speak softly, and carry a big stick? Sounds inappropriate.”

“No need to ruffle any unnecessary feathers.”

“I’ve always preferred the diplomatic approach.”

BE AGGRESSIVE:

“Surely there’s a better way to go about this.”

“I won’t go in guns blazing unless you have a very good reason for it.”

“I hope you know what you’re getting us into.”

USE STIMPACK

“(Sighs) God, I hate needles,”

“Thanks love, I really appreciate it.”

“(Hissing) That stings, doesn’t it?”

WAIT HERE

“Sure, I’ve got plenty of work to keep me busy.”

“Here out in the middle of nowhere? You’re sure?”

“If you take too long don’t be surprised if I’m not exactly where you left me.”

FOLLOW ME:

“Aw, things were just getting exciting! One more chapter? (Sigh) fine, I’m coming.”

“Right then, off we go.”

“Finally, what took you so long?”

DISMISSED:

“You’re sure? Alright then, watch yourself out there.”

“Try not to get up to too much mischief without me.”

Romanced: “If you’re sure...be careful, love. Please.”

Sent home to base:

“Alright, I can go drop off what we’ve gathered so far and start cataloging! That’s always my favorite part.”

“Keep your eye out for any books, please.”

Enemies (long range):

“(Sigh) we never get very far, do we?”

“Alright, if you must. Their funeral, right?”

“Aw shit! Did you see that too?”

CLOSE RANGE

“Dammit! They snuck up on us!”

“This isn’t how I wanted my afternoon to go, you know,”

“You’d think we would have been able to smell this lot coming.”

LIKES:

Intelligent and sarcastic Soles. Hacking terminals. Picking up comic books and magazines. Haggling for better prices with merchants. Reuniting Billy with his family, agreeing to be the general of the Minutemen, supporting Piper and the press.

Dislikes: Chem usage, stealing, low intelligence answers, making fun of Sheffield, selling Billy. You know, basic bad stuff.

Romanceable?

Yes

Romance lines

“You know, I’ve read a lot of love stories, but this, this is something else.”

“You know I think my Grandad would have actually approved of you, (laughs) trust me that’s the highest compliment I could ever give you.”

“What do you need, love?”

“Anything troubling you, darling?”

“Okay okay that’s enough of that mushy stuff.”

Lover’s embrace lines:

“(Yawning) is it really morning already?”

“You know, I used to hate mornings, but waking up to you has significantly improved my opinion of them,”

“Morning, love,”

Companion Perk:

Comprehensive Study-Books and magazines stat bost has permanently increased by 30%

Personal Quest pt. 1- Strictly Business

pt. 2-Before her highest affinity she’ll admit her dream to build a library like her mother’s. She’ll show you the plans she and her grandfather drew up back in the Capital Wasteland and you can build Nora’s Library at any settlement. After Sole does that Nora becomes romancable.

There you have it! The Nora Lee, the Commonwealth’s first traveling librarian!

[bobasheebaby]

WIP’s

I was tagged by @itsstillnotwhatyouthink and she seriously does not understand the Pandora’s box she just opened!

Rules: Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Send me an ask with the title that most intrigues you and I’ll post a little snipped of it or tell you something about it!

Choices

Crimson Rain

Veiled Memories- chapter 8, it’s mostly chunks atm all Liza and Bastien right now but Liam is coming and after what he found out in Bed of Lies he is PISSED!

Chapter 9, not much yet, just dealing with some aftermath of chapter 8

Bitter Mistakes this might end up in chapter 9 or become chapter 10 or go in some other chapter, who knows but my muse was inspired so I wrote it, this section is more or less finished.

The Rise Chapter one- roughly half finished just the Endless Summer gang atm, I need screenshots of chapter 13 of book 2 with romancing Sean to finish their portion. I have to figure out what book to pull in next. This is still in the planning stages.

Falling For You Christmas 1/3 down? I’m seriously bad.

The Short Stick Bastien x Olivia my unfinished Kinky Card future glimpse of Baslivia from Falling For You.

Here Tonight chapter 4 of Made For You, I have started this four times and deleted it all.

True Colors chapter 2 of Reclaiming Destiny AND Something More tiny bit done, supposed to have the conversation between Liam and Bastien and so much more and I’m so blocked. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Reclaiming Destiny Christmas about half finished I’m so bad.

Chapter 7 of Starting Over, Together I have the beginning that is it. Supposed to be a Bailey and Drake chapter since I feel bad for the Bailey and Liam chapter, atm it’s Liam. God my muse.

Maneater

Bad Press Addi x Justin, yup Addi is going there with Justin but remember there is no assassins in this AU so he’s just the press secretary and gonna fall under her spell.

Homewrecker Addi x Landon, Landon is as much to blame as Addison is any cheating going on here.

Wild Card Addi x ??? The last installment of Maneater, have the beginning and end, just need the middle.

Whiskey’s Best Friend Addi x Drake, she’s gonna use whiskey and Tariq in her room to break Drake. Dear lord I’m sorry.

Under the Stars Addi x Maxwell, not started will happen on the rooftop at the UN dinner.

Following Her Heart

Fluffy horse ride, I keep scrapping everything, I had a good train of thought and my child kept breaking it. Basically I want Percy to bring Beauty (what I named Marabella’s Dream) to Winchester to surprise Athena.

Second Day in Rome, pretty self explanatory still figuring this out.

Unnamed, shortly before the wedding

Chance Meets Cleo, what happens when Chance meets Athena’s Christmas Cleo the baby Savannah.

Side by Side chapter 1, I need to finish it, this chapter will change Liam’s reaction to the pictures.

Can’t Take My Eyes Off of You Lennox x Rashad three days before All We’d Ever Need in Law of Love

Kiara x Landon, supposed to be a drunken ONS at the wedding reception.

One Night of Fun Chris x MC x Zig, just a threesome.

What a Way to Say it’s Over part three, Matt and Lilith finally talk, not much done yet.

Story of a Duke

Juvenile Mischief, Alex and Percy getting into trouble at boarding school.

Alex x Percy my muse is toying with OC x OC slash.

And I have a request for Percy x Bastien

Liam x MC x Drake- request I keep starting and deleting everything I just am not happy with anything.

Draxwell, they need to come back yet I keep deleting everything I write.

Double Teamed is supposed to be Damien x MC x Drake I haven’t even really started it. Have a Dramien that’s supposed to be before this too.

Becoming More Drake x Liam in the beginning after It Started With a Kiss. Part of In Their Hearts

Supernatural

Saviors chapter 2, John and Liz are both dealing with their attraction in this Supernatural AU.

Turnabout is FairPlay John and Reader, John isn’t too happy about You’ve Been a Bad Boy.

Watching You John x Reader x Dean I had an idea it fizzled I may change the name and use a spn kink bingo prompt.

And I have so many prompts (some from Halloween 🤦🏻‍♀️ and requests of crack pairs and ideas and yikes!) I searched all my documents and still feel like I’m missing something! 🙈

Tagging: @ladywinchester1967 @time-travel-bouqet @leelee10898 @zaffrenotes @stopforamoment @darley1101 @blackcatkita @blackcoffee85 @missjenniferb @julesthequirky @dean-winchesters-bacon @walkerismychoice @boneandfur

[angelanimedesaray]

Animal Instincts (Part 2 of The Investment)

AN:  yeeeaaahhhh this became a series.  Not a super big ambitious one like Through The Looking Glass, but...there’s a few parts.  Not sure if I can call it a mini-series, so right now I’ll just say series.  Also this is officially a nitty-gritty series compared to some of my other stuff/ideas.  I just feel like Vampire stuff should be like that, Y’know???  Also, yes, I’m a monster, believe me, I know, I was thinking that as I wrote some of these scenes...

AN On Character:  Before ANYONE can call me out for this...if Levi seems too emotional...In my little Vampire Lore World, emotions are AMPLIFIED for Vampires.  Happiness becomes joy, sadness becomes despair, (emotional) pain becomes agony, grief becomes devastation, etc etc.

Characters:  Vampire!Levi, Reader, Hange, Erwin (Mentioned), many unnamed background OCs

Pairing:  Still not sure if I can be labeling this Levi x Reader, esssspecially for this chapter...

Warnings:  Language, Biting, Blood, Violence, Threats of Violence, Gore, Non-Consensual Blood Drinking, Heavy Angst, Bad Bad BAD Decisions.  *Spoilery Tag* here comes some serious ‘Hurt Them to Protect Them’ Logic

Word Count:  11037

<---Previous Part    Next Part--->

*Levi’s POV*

“You’re having far too much fun poking at me, Four-Eyes.”

“You can’t complain, Levi--you consented!”

“I made the mistake of assuming you’d have some form of restraint considering the situation.”

“Oh, come on, Levi, don’t be like that--don’t you find all this exciting?”

“No.”

“Just think of all we’re learning, though!  Isn’t it fun?”

“None of this is my idea of fun.”

“That’s just because you’re too busy sulking to appreciate how fascinating this all is.”

“Tch.”

Levi sat next to Hange’s desk in her cluttered office, idly wiping a stray strand of blood from the fresh cut on his arm as she swiftly moved to study her new blood samples under the microscope.  The curtains were drawn in consideration for Levi, the light in the room provided by the kerosene lamp on her desk.  It was the morning after Levi had fed, and Hange was wanting to see if she could see any differences in his blood after his hunger had been satisfied.  Ever since seeing how his blood had been able to bring Y/N back from the brink of death, Hange had been...rather obsessed.  It was impressive how she managed to juggle her excited prodding of Eren as well as her smaller-scale experiments on Levi behind closed doors, though Levi was starting to wonder if she was even sleeping between it all.

“It’s amazing, but so unfair!  We know your blood is different, that it has these extraordinary properties, and yet, comparing it with some of my own, there’s no visible difference I can see, even after you’ve fed--it appears to be the same as the sample of normal blood!” Hange said, her voice dipping in frustrated disappointment before swinging back upwards in excitement over and over again as she spoke.

Levi wiped the small smear of blood on his fingers away with his handkerchief and started to roll his sleeve back down.  “Nothing about you is normal, Hange,” he deadpanned.  “Eight seconds.”

“Oh?” Hange asked, perking up from the microscope to glance at where the minor injury had been, not a trace of blood left behind and smooth skin where the cut had been disappearing under his white sleeve.  “That’s faster than last time by...five, six seconds?  Does this mean that you heal faster the better fed you are?” Hange mused.

“It’s one theory,” Levi murmured, thinking back to when he’d given Y/N his blood.  He had just, just fed off of her, yet the wound on his wrist then had taken a minute or more to heal up.  Maybe there was some kind of focus or willpower involved, too.  Right now, he didn’t need or want the wound to linger, and it didn’t, while then he’d need and wanted it to.

Just another theory to add to Hange’s growing pile.

Hange turned her attention back to the microscope, trying--most likely in vain--to see some kind of difference in his blood in case her first observation was wrong.  “Speaking of feeding…”

“No, Hange,” Levi said in a quick, hard tone before she could continue her leading statement.

“Levi-iii, why not?” she whined.  His irritation flared--how many times did he have to tell her no?

“I don’t have control when the hunger takes over like that--it’d be too dangerous.  There’s no telling what could happen, and I can’t guarantee your safety.”

“It can’t be any different from poking at titans, which, need I remind you, I did with non-intelligent titans before we started the experiments with Eren.”

“This is different,” Levi said coldly.  “Besides.  It’s not something you want to see.  Not really.”

“Except I do.”

Levi didn’t even bother to answer her this time.  He’d already told her no, and since no one knew the Underground as well as him and he now had his inhuman speed, it wasn’t like she could follow him down into the Underground to try and spy on him.  He had the final say, and he’d already said no.

Hange grumbled nonsense at his silence, Levi’s sensitive hearing not even able to pick up two words that could be strung together.  “You’ve been more...short tempered, recently.”

“I wonder why.”

Hange ignored his sarcastic jab and kept talking.

“With all your senses and abilities being amplified, do you think its possible your personality has been, too?  Your emotions?” Hange asked, growing curiosity in her voice as the theory formed.

Levi actually paused to consider it.  He was annoyed easier recently.  Sometimes he found it hard to get a grip on himself with emotions that went to extremes far faster than normal, or he clamped down so harshly on an impulse or emotion that he didn’t feel anything.  He constantly felt like he was trying to do a balancing act blindfolded between the two extremes, trying to get back to his normal.  Even he was aware that he wasn’t himself recently--besides the obvious.  Though he’d written it off as just dealing with everything that had happened.  What if this was going to be his normal if he couldn’t find that balance?

“I’m going to take your thoughtful silence as a yes,” Hange said, already reaching over to scribble down notes.  “I feel sorry for the cadets.”

Levi scowled.  What, did she think he had no self-control?  He wasn’t taking all this craziness out on anyone, and he wasn’t about to start now.

“Don’t you have to go poke at Eren instead of me this morning?” he asked, giving Hange a steady look.

“Yes, but when I’m done, I’ll try to snag you for a few more tests I want to try today.”

“Wonderful…” Levi grumbled, already getting to his feet.

“Before you leave, just a few more questions!”

Levi paused, eyebrows raised, waiting for her to speak only a step away from the door.

“How’s the filtering with your hearing coming?  Have you tried anything to help with the overpowering smells?  Is the sunlight still bothering you the same way?  What about those urges when you’re around people?”

Levi turned and leaned his back against the door, expanding his explanation for Hange’s sake so she could take her notes.  “Sunlight’s still irritating.  Tolerable, but in short bursts, not long periods.  The best I can do for scent is to not breathe through my nose when something’s too strong.  I’m getting better at focusing on specific sounds to block out the excess, but if there’s something sudden or sharp it all floods in again.”  Levi paused, hesitating to go into details about his bloodlust issues.  But Hange and Erwin needed to know what his limits were if they were going to keep others safe from him.  They needed to be aware what made him more likely to bite someone.  He’d already had a few close calls, and they all knew it.  “It’s still...hard, when someone’s bleeding near me, even if I’ve fed recently.  But being well fed--blood or regular food--helps...but only so much.  When I’m around people, if I can block out their pulse by focusing on something else--even if its just different breaths or a person’s voice--I’ll be just fine.  If I don’t, or I get...distracted by the sound of someone’s pulse, that desire returns.”

“Do you think it’s getting easier with time?” Hange asked, her voice soft in consideration with the subject Levi was far more sensitive about.

“No.  Not yet, anyway.”

“Do you think you need to eat more?”

Levi shook his head.  “No.  There’s a difference between the desire and the hunger.  And usually I take the first chance I have to slip away when I feel that shift.”

“I’ll see if I can come up with some ideas on what might help.  There’s still plenty we don’t know, so maybe we just need to spend a bit more time exploring.”

“Another time,” Levi said flatly, straightening up and turning to leave.  He paused with his hand hovering over the doorknob, the sound of a new heartbeat from just on the other side of the door and a familiar scent wafting towards him causing him to stiffen before he turned to face Hange with a hiss.  “Did you know she was coming?”

While Erwin had agreed to Levi’s request that Y/N be kept away from Levi as much as possible, Hange had openly disagreed with Levi’s tactic and had even tried to talk him out of it once.  It was already hard enough to dodge Y/N daily while the persistent woman kept trying to corner him to make him talk to her.  If Hange had started actively taking Y/N’s side and trying to get the two to bump into one another, staying away from her was going to become nearly impossible.

Hange held up her hands defensively.  “I’m innocent this time, Levi, I swear.”

He didn’t believe her.

Levi’s teeth ground together as he backed away from the door, a knock sounding a few seconds later.  Levi jerked his head towards the door to tell Hange to open it herself, his body taunt as he waited for the brief window he would have.  Hange sighed dramatically to show her displeasure at the events around her, as always, but Levi simply ignored it, eyes still on the door.

As soon as the door had opened wide enough for Levi to slip through, he bolted, using his new speed to pass by Y/N with little more than a soft gust of air, maybe the briefest glimpse of Levi inside Hange’s office that would have been brief enough to pass off as a hopeful illusion.  He didn’t stop until he reached an empty hall far enough away he couldn’t hear her heartbeat anymore.  Once there, he leaned against the wall for a brief moment, eyes closed as he pushed any rising thoughts about her as far down as he could and reoriented himself.

He straightened just in time for another scout to round the corner, subconsciously putting on the façade of favoring his left leg as he continued down the hall.  They didn’t have an excuse for why an injury that was supposed to sideline him for months would abruptly be so completely healed, so he had to keep moving around like he was out of commission even though he was even stronger physically than he’d been before.  Plus, it gave Hange plenty of time to poke and prod while Levi was still only doing the non-physical half of his duties.

...or plenty of time to try and orchestrate forcing Levi into a situation where he had to talk to Y/N.  He’d have to be on guard against Hange’s sneakier methods the more desperate she became to make it happen.

*Reader’s POV*

If anyone could rival you in stubbornness, it was Levi.  Once that man settled on something, really put his mind to it and committed, nothing was going to change it except some kind of earth-shaking event.  This particular quality of his was becoming more and more apparent with every passing day the Captain went so far out of his way to avoid you.

It had already been blatantly obvious the kind of lengths he was willing to go to try and push you out of his life entirely when, during your recovery, he didn’t even sleep in his office while you were recovering.  He’d retreated to another side of the castle entirely, and stubbornly stayed there until his door was fixed and lockable again, and you had recovered and been moved back to where you usually slept.  Now, you were lucky to catch glimpses of him from a distance.  He started supervising training at different times--specifically ones where you were busy elsewhere--and was in and out of the mess hall for his food either long before you arrived or too quickly to give you a chance to corner him, not that the mess hall was the place to be having the kind of conversation the two of you needed.  If you tried to find him in his office, he never answered--somehow he always seemed to know that it was you on the other side of the door, even if someone else did the knocking and talking for you.  Once, when you had decided to just walk in, you’d even heard the lock click as your hand touched the doorknob.  That one had hurt.

Still, you understood what he was doing.  From the moment you’d woken up and had that brief exchange with him, Levi’s intentions had been obvious.  Afraid that you would get hurt, Levi was trying to put as much distance between the two of you so nothing similar could happen again.

Had you been hurt?  Yes.  Had he almost killed you?  Definitely.  Had you been afraid?  Hell yes, even if your surprisingly level-headed approach to the situation had suggested differently.  But after waking up bed-ridden with a decently lengthy recovery period ahead of you, you’d had plenty of time to really think about what happened and what you understood of it.  Almost being killed by someone wasn’t an easy thing to overcome.  When you’d first woken up, you’d admittedly still been in a sort of shock about what had happened, the events hadn’t really sunk in yet.  But your recovery had given you the time you needed to struggle, shake, cry a little, and work through it all.

What Levi had done, while terrifying and deadly for you, had been unintentional, and fueled by a hunger he wasn’t used to, a hunger that had probably been amplified by his near-death state and that much harder for him to control.  He’d lost all sense of himself, you’d seen it in his eyes the brief moment before he’d bitten into your neck.  You couldn’t imagine what he’d felt when he did come back to himself.  Hange had said that he’d been desperate, that she’d never seen him the way he was while trying to save your life.  And now, seeing the lengths he was going to in order to protect you from himself, seeing how afraid he was that he was going to hurt you again...how could you not be willing to forgive him?

If you could just catch him and get the stubborn, stoic man to talk to you already.

You couldn’t let the conversation be postponed any longer.  This was something the two of you needed to talk about, so you could fully forgive him, maybe he could start to forgive himself, and both of you could move forward.  It would also be helpful for Levi to get assistance with whatever this was he was going through, but right now you were focused on the basics.

And because you still couldn’t catch Levi, even with a heads up from Hange allowing you to briefly glimpse him in the woman’s office, you were pushed to the drastic and admittedly stupid actions.

You had to catch him when he went to the Underground to feed.

Knowing what was happening to him, it wasn’t hard to piece together how he’d been feeding recently when no cases of dead bodies drained of blood popped up within the walls on the surface or among the Scouts.  You also knew he wasn’t feeding on any willing participants yet--he was afraid of losing control, and with the three people who were aware of his situation being people he didn’t want to accidentally kill, he wouldn’t be drinking from anyone in the Scouts.  Where would he go if he was looking for people who would disappear without causing ripples if he lost control?  The Underground, as depressing as the truth of it was.

Except he had started to catch attention.  Not directly, obviously, but rumors were starting to bubble, rumors about a shadowy figure that snatched the filth of the Underground into the darkness and left mangled bloodless corpses behind as the only evidence it had ever been there.  Only a couple bodies had been found, but if Levi had to feed as frequently as his nightly excursions suggested, there were more.

You’d been keeping an eye out for him nightly, trying to figure out his feeding pattern since you’d been driven to this point, which was how you knew.  It was how you were able to figure out the rough window of when he’d need to feed again, how you were able to catch sight of him slipping out of Headquarters when everyone should have been asleep, and how you knew where you needed to go in order to follow him into the depths of the Underground.

Though you weren’t entirely sure if it could necessarily be called following.  With his speed, Levi was impossible to keep in sight.  You knew which entrance to the Underground he used, and you could rationalize that he would be looking for unsavory elements in the back alleys of the Underground, but that was all you had to go off of.  You’d have to hope that you could find Levi down there, in a place he knew far better than you, in the short span of time it took him to find someone, feed, and then return to headquarters.  If you missed him completely, you’d be stuck wandering the Underground until morning or later, considering there wouldn’t be any sun to tell you morning had broke.

But this was the only option you had left.  It wasn’t your best idea, and you found yourself jumping at shadows as you plunged deeper and deeper below ground, but you had to try.

He wasn’t going to do it, so you had to try.

You had to resist the urge to cover your nose with your hand in a feeble attempt to block out the smell as you started weaving your way through the dark streets of the Underground.  You couldn’t imagine how Levi tolerated it even if he had lived down here once, considering his enhanced senses.

Feeling eyes on you, you shook off the idle thoughts, reminding yourself this was the worst place inside the walls to be alone, even with military training, and you clearly stood out down here.  You couldn’t afford to get lost in thoughts right now, especially since you knew Levi was prowling through these dark streets somewhere looking for someone to feed on.

Even though you hadn’t thought it could, the further into the winding, dark back streets, the worse the conditions were.  Abandoned houses rotted away, and the occasional body was shoved aside off the main path so people could keep walking.  Occasionally something would move in the dark, and you could see dim eyes watching you from huddled masses curled up next to walls or trash heaps for some form of shelter.  You did your best not to disturb them, stepping carefully and trying to keep pity from rising into your expression.  You were here for one person right now, and you were on a time limit.  There wasn’t time to spend feeling bad for locals you couldn’t help.

It was while you were stepping around one of these locals that you hadn’t seen curled up at the corner because they’d been so indistinguishable from the trash pile they’d been sleeping in that you momentarily lost sense of your larger surroundings a moment too long.  Taking care to step around the corner and not on the person you’d almost tripped over, you initially missed the sight of a group of five men that had almost reached the neck of the alley you were stepping into.  Registering movement in your peripherals, your head snapped up to take in the sight of the small group of large men, body tensing at the light you saw spark in their eyes when you saw each other.

Your first thought was not to go down that alley, then it was to not turn your back on them.  It was a T intersection, though.  You couldn’t turn around because there was too much ground to cover still, and you didn’t really want to make some kind of awkward shimmy down the alley in the same direction they seemed to be heading.

You didn’t get much time to think about it.  They were too close for comfort, so you turned and continued down the alley, your steps faster, body tensed and limbs ready to spring into action at a moment’s notice.  You could feel them behind you, heard the whistles and jeers about a pretty little surfacer wandering into the slums.

This wasn’t going to end well.  Especially if you took a wrong turn into a dead end like you were in some kind of cliché horror story.

You turned your head just enough to get a look at them, noting with unease that the fifth seemed to have broken away from the group.  No doubt to try and cut you off--you weren’t stupid, and you were in the Scouts, of course you’d be able to figure out that much.

Best not to keep going in a straight line down the alley, then.  Maybe, if you were lucky, you could lose them in the winding back alleys.  They might have the home field advantage, but at least you wouldn’t make it easy for them if they did manage to corner you between the five of them.

The next time you saw a narrow alley on your right, you took a sudden, sharp turn, breaking into a run as soon as you were out of the immediate sight of the group.  You heard them holler behind you just past the halfway point in the alley, the four also breaking into a run a few seconds before you made another right turn, a left, straight, another left, a right…

Maybe you should try to double back and get back to the surface.  You’d stumbled into trouble, you were going to have to spend time shaking them, most likely Levi would have fed and would be leaving by the time you managed to go back to searching for him again.  It was best to cut your losses and head back above ground, try to corner him again another time, another way.  This hadn’t been a smart idea from the beginning, but now it was much, much worse.

You could hear that group still pursuing you, more spread out now as they used their numbers to their advantage, just as you’d expected them to.  And it seemed they’d sent the fastest ahead to try and cut you off, because as you turned the corner for another right turn, you could see one of them pop out of an alley a few ahead of you, already heading for you as you bolted into another side alley.

They were getting too close for comfort.  And this one was staying on your ass like an abnormal in an open field.

Halfway down an annoyingly long and slightly wider alley, that one man still on your tail, a second appeared at the other end of the alley.  He grinned when he saw you running straight for him, ripping one of the boards off the window of the abandoned house in the alley and holding it like a club.

You didn’t slow down, already taking in his form, mind going through the many disarming motions you’d been taught, some by Levi himself after you’d shown some promise in training.  The smile diminished when you didn’t falter, but the second man stood his ground, waiting for you to get within reach.

You were waiting for the same moment.

As he pulled back to swing, you shifted to the side, grabbing at his arm with a pull, a twist upwards, a knee into his gut before you came down on his leg, shoving him aside with your upper body to send him staggering into the wall with a pained cry.  His board clattered to the ground as the one who had been right behind you suddenly tackled you to the ground, your knees coming up to your chest in the fall so you could push him up and over your head once your back hit the stone.  You all got back to your feet at roughly the same time, the two now between you and the mouth of the alley, and you knew there had to be about three somewhere behind you, so you needed to go forward, through these two assholes.

You put your hands up and fell into an at-the-ready stance.

Back to training, then.

You could practically feel Levi’s eyes on you on the training field, one of the only recruits who didn’t say a word of complaint about being taught to handle armed opponents even past basic training, when the Scouts were supposed to be fighting Titans, not humans.  You took it seriously, actually put in the effort, actively listened to instructions and critiques, and didn’t utter a word of complaint.

Why the hell would you complain about being taught to protect yourself?

Now it seemed it was a good thing that had been the attitude you’d approached those lessons with, because you were going to need them.

One of them threw themselves at you with a shout and you side-stepped, pushing him past you with the help of his own momentum so you could focus on the guy who was trying to bring a fist down on your head, you leaned back just out of its path, stepped forward with your left, and brought your own fist in for a quick overhand punch with your right that connected with the man’s jaw.  The first came in from behind you again, an arm slipping around your neck--you’d thought you had another few seconds before you’d have to face him again, hoping he’d fallen on his face.  You leaned forward as much as you could and dropping one shoulder, sending the slim runner over your shoulder with his momentum to grab you from behind, stepping back and to the side with your other foot as he tumbled over you.  Your arms came back up just in time to block another punch from the other guy with your arm, your other hand flashing out to nail him in the nose with enough force to hear a satisfying crack before you jumped back.

Another ripping sound similar to when the bigger guy of the two you were facing had ripped off a board came from the end of the alley you had entered behind you, and you turned long enough to see a third guy pulling off a smaller board with a little more effort.

Three on one in a back alley, now.  You needed to get out of here, fast, before the rest could catch up.

Not wanting someone behind you again, you shifted, standing at the ready with your back to the wall between the two on the one end and the one on the other, coiled and ready to see who would come at you first.  The one with the board charged you, prompting you to turn enough to face him, eyeing the board that was held high and swinging towards you as he came within range.

You caught the board, cutting your thumb open on a jagged edge in the process but keeping your grip firm as the force caused your arms to fold against your chest.  With the man now within range, you pulled back just enough to give yourself enough room to kick him in the stomach, giving a push against the board at the same time to make sure he was send backwards.  Knowing the other two would be trying to grab you from behind, you turned swiftly, bending your arm and swinging around sharply with your elbow connecting with whichever one had reached you first.  You didn’t get the chance to see who it was before a shot suddenly rang out, shocking you enough you hesitated and were grabbed by the arm by the larger of your original two opponents.

Looking towards the other side of the alley you could see the other two members of the group had caught up, with one handing the still-smoking one shot pistol to the other, who was also giving him a second you were sure was already loaded and ready.  It was probably safe to assume the one who had fired a shot into the air was the leader, and he was now approaching slowly, the other man hanging back to reload the little pistol.

What the hell kind of a job and black market deal did these guys have to pull off to get their hands on two pistols?

You tried to twist out of the hold on your arm, but even in the dark of the alley you could see the glint of the loaded pistol well enough to tell you it was leveled directly at your head, making you still.  Another one of your original three attackers grabbed your other arm, the large man kicking the back of your leg to force you into a kneeling position.

“You’re quite the scrapper, aren’t you?  Almost more trouble than you’re worth,” the leader mused, coming to stand directly in front of you.  You tensed, pulling against the firm hands that held your arms and shoulders to force you into your kneeling position.  As you struggled, the leader brought the barrel of the gun to hover directly and unmistakably in front of your face, causing you to still again.  “I don’t like wasting bullets, so if you don’t want to die messy, I suggest you stay still in case I decide to just shoot you.”

“Boss, the whole point of chasing her down was to have a little fun with her!” the one who’d managed to stay on your ass during the chase complained.  He sounded winded.

“At first, but after seeing all that?  She might be able to overpower us if we keep her alive.  You want to risk her breaking free long enough to kill you, idiot?”  When no one made another complaint, the leader pressed the barrel of the gun against your forehead.  “Such a waste, too.  Sorry, Swee--”

Hands wrapped around the leader’s throat and one of his shoulders, so suddenly you weren’t sure you’d really seen it.  However, the fact that he was suddenly yanked into the shadows without a warning let you know you had seen them.  There was a visceral snapping sound a split second after the man had been grabbed, and before anyone could react, he was spat back out of the shadows as swiftly as they’d claimed him, thrown to the ground within sight of everyone, his neck snapped and body crumpled like a fallen handkerchief.

A feral snarl sounded from the darkness, and chaos erupted all around you.

*Levi’s POV*

Levi’s fingers threaded through the hair of tonight’s prey in a relentless grip, pressing their head down and into the ground while his other hand pulled their shoulder aside, leaving their neck stretched and exposed for him to sink his teeth into with little resistance.  They had stopped struggling long ago, the kicks and futile punches and pushed now absent, the trembling beneath him slowing to a complete stop.  He was able to drink deeply and undisturbed, hidden in the dark shadows of a dead end alley, the only sounds the occasional soft hum of pleasure and the sound of his teeth sinking deeper into flesh as he drank.  He focused on the sounds to drown out the rest of the Underworld, the pulse he'd originally listened to long gone.

He was starting to consciously enjoy it when he fed...and even picking the scum of the Underground to prey on, he wasn't sure how he felt about that.

A loud sharp, familiar sound broke through Levi's filter, causing him to jerk back, head looking up towards the ceiling and tilted in the direction he'd heard the gunshot.  A rush of sounds and smells suddenly rushed towards him again now that he'd been abruptly jostled out of his feed, overwhelming him while he wiped some of the blood from his face and tried to sort through the sensory mess once more and find the source of a gunshot, head pounding.  The only people who were going to have guns down here were military and a lucky criminal who'd scored rather big--not ODM gear big, but still.

As he was trying to filter out the sound, the faintest whiff of a strong, familiar scent reached him.  After being bathed in it the night he'd transformed, he would never mistake that scent for anything else.  Y/N's blood.  And it had to have been spilled if he was able to smell her through the stench of the Underground.

What the hell was she doing down here?

Focusing on that scent and trying to hear what was near her at the same time, Levi slowly rose to his feet, eyes closed as he focused.  He could smell gunpowder in the air as well, could hear a concentration of heartbeats, most pounding from exertion, but one that possessed the familiar scent pounding faster from exertion and fear.  Then came the distant voices.

"...don’t want to die messy, I suggest you stay still in case I decide to just shoot you."

Dammit.

Levi was moving before he could finish putting together what was happening, focused on closing the distance between where he'd been and where Y/N was in danger before another gunshot could be fired.  The man who’d fired the shot was still talking with someone, making it easier for Levi to narrow down where they were.  He stayed in the shadows even with his speed, making sure that he kept the element of surprise so that he could be sure to kill whoever had the gun first, before they had the chance to shoot again.

He could smell her blood, too.  Did that mean she’d already been shot?  How bad was her wound?  If he got too close, could he resist?

He’d worry about that when he got there.

As soon as the scene of five men gathered around Y/N came into view, with one of them pressing the barrel of a pistol against her forehead, Levi’s blood boiled into a blind rage.  The shadows around him blurred as he rushed forward, grabbing the man with the gun and pulling him into the shadows.  He noticed there was a second man reloading the pistol that must have made the first shot, so he made his kill quick, snapping the man’s neck and pushing the body away without a second thought.  The other armed man wildly swung around with the gun when he saw the dead body, a snarl ripping past Levi’s lips as he barreled into the armed man, sending him flying and colliding with the wall of once of the buildings he heard bones snapping as he was sent through the wall.  Instincts taking over, including his newly acquired, monstrous ones, Levi went after one of the two men restraining Y/N next, moving too fast for the group of five to have even hope to react in defense.

Pulling the large man into the shadows and away from Y/N, effectively breaking his grip on her, Levi sank his teeth into the man’s neck, blood flowing free and unrestrained as he tore into the man’s throat with the intent to kill.  He was able to drink quite a bit in the process, only because he didn’t let go until the man’s pulse started to stutter beneath his lips and he was sure the blood loss alone would kill him.

Looking at the two remaining, Y/N had taken the chance with their stunned state and the fact she only had one person holding onto her now to attack the other man restraining her.  She didn’t look hurt in the slightest as she pulled her restrainer towards her and kneed him in the gut, but he could still smell the blood she’d spilled at some point.

At the moment, however, his attention was drawn to the second still standing man who was now trying to attack Y/N from behind while she was busy with her restrainer.  Levi rushed the second man as well, not bothering to hide in the shadows now as he ripped into the slender man’s throat just as he’d done to Y/N’s other restrainer, waiting until the pulse stuttered and the blood loss turned fatal before he dropped the body to the ground and turned to face the last man.

Y/N had knocked him to the ground by now, the man staring in horror at Levi.  He must have been quite the sight.  When he’d fed before this mess, he’d only had blood on his face, neck, and around his collar, since he was gradually improving with how messy he was when he fed.  Now, however, after ripping out two throats, the blood stained his front as well.  His eyes glowed a vivid crimson and pierced through the dark of the alley, fangs flashing as he licked away a thicker trail of blood while he approached the last man.  Levi grabbed the man by the front of his shirt, picking him up with ease and pinning him against the wall.

“Demon--” the man hardly managed to squeak out.  Something in Levi burned at the accusation, his grip on the man’s shirt tightening.

No witnesses, no loose ends.  Unless he wanted his situation public legend or knowledge, depending on how much people were willing to believe.

Without a word, Levi sank his teeth into the man’s throat, covering the man’s mouth with his hand to muffle the screams even though they didn’t last long.  As he drank and the pulse below his lips eventually slowed to a stop, Levi listened and thought about what he would do next.

The only other sounds in the alley came from behind him, from Y/N.  She hadn’t moved, was hardly breathing, her heartbeat wild from adrenaline and a sense of fear, and it only seemed to be beating faster as she watched him drain the life from her last attacker.

What the hell had possessed her to make her think that following Levi into the Underground when he came here to feed was a good idea?  The Underground was already dangerous, especially at night, especially with something like him lurking in the darkness looking for a meal.  Her foolhardy determination to blow past his insistence they not be anywhere near one another was going to get her killed--it nearly had.

Levi felt his blood chill, even if he was still drinking in fresh warm blood.  What would happen next?  How many more reckless ideas would she get, how much farther was she going to push?  Was she really willing to push her luck until she died while he was trying to keep her safe from him?  What did he have to do to make her back off, for her to realize how serious this was, that she couldn’t be anywhere near him, that she couldn’t follow after him like this?  Did he have to scare her off?  At this rate, it was the only thing he could think of that might actually work.  But how far was he willing to go to scare her enough to protect her?  At the moment, she already had some fear lingering in her.  If he didn’t wait too long, he could work with it; there might be a chance that he wouldn’t have to do too much if she was already afraid.  He just had to scare her a little one time to make her leave him alone.

He was a little dizzy at the moment, feeling almost drunk on the sheer volume of blood he’d just consumed in such a short span of time.  He could muscle through it, though.  Ride the high just long enough to do what he had to.

Steeling his resolve, Levi released the now limp body in his arms, rushing Y/N and pinning her against the wall with a hand around her throat.  His fangs were bared, eyes still glowing crimson, fresh blood still smeared across his face and front as he snarled.  His thumb was placed strategically on her pulse point, able to feel as her heartbeat doubled its speed.  He was trying to subtly watch her reaction to know when he’d done enough, his thumb tracing lightly along the vein on her neck, but not biting yet.  She was tense, holding her breath, heartbeat racing wildly, and yet...after the first few seconds…

She let out a slow, shaking breath, her heartbeat starting to gradually and slightly calm down.

“You’re just trying to scare me.  It’s not going to work, Levi.”

He didn’t answer.  Instead, he let his fingers tilt her neck to the side, well aware that he was pushing his limits, playing a dangerous game in his attempt to convince her that if she didn’t stay away from him, he’d kill her.  His lips brushed against her neck, his fangs feeling like they were aching in desperation to sink into her neck.  He could remember what she tasted like--he hadn’t had anything better, since.  Only the scum of the Underground that left a chemically, filthy aftertaste in his mouth.  But her…

He struggled against those thoughts, willing himself not to give into them.  He didn’t want to bite her, not really.  He just wanted to scare her.

They were both perfectly still, neither of them even breathing loudly or heavily, just tense, each waiting for the other to make a move.  What was she thinking?  Was she trying to call his bluff?  Did she believe he wouldn’t bite her?  Was she thinking of last time she’d bet on his restraint, how it had been thrown back in her face when he almost killed her?  Was she trying to figure out how far he’d go to make her stay away?  Was she trying to decide if he would really bite her again to make her run?

He was wondering the same thing.  He’d pretty much sworn that he wouldn’t bite her again for any reason, and yet, he found himself in a position where a warning bite seemed like an option, just enough to make her realize he was serious, just enough to scare her off...but he didn’t trust his control once he started drinking from her.  Especially now, smelling the heady aroma of her blood again, so much better than what he’d been feeding on down here in the Underground for a while now.  But did the risk really outweigh the possible result?  He had just drained four fairly big men of their blood, maybe he’d had enough it wouldn’t be too hard to stop...maybe.  Did he really want to take that risk, to hurt her once again even if it was only a little, for the chance he might finally make her run away from him instead of towards him, so she’d be safe?

He waited a moment too long.  Without warning, Y/N suddenly pushed him back, and Levi gave easily against the action, backing away a few steps and looking away.  He had hardly put any of his strength into the motion, only meaning to scare, not harm her, wanting her to be able to push him away and bolt when he finally scared her enough to make her run.  Clearly, she’d seen right through his actions and to his true intention.

His fangs retracted, the crimson in his eyes fading to a simple red glint, and he was suddenly quite conscious of the fact that he was covered in blood.  Knowing it wouldn’t do him much good but wanting to make the attempt anyway, he tried wiping some of the blood from his face, refusing to look at Y/N as he did so.

He could run, but it wouldn’t do him any good.  This talk was apparently inevitable, even if he deemed it inconsequential, pointless.  She wasn’t going to change his mind.  He’d already decided to cut her out--it was better for both of them if he did, rather than drag her down any further into this...mess.

“If you’re thinking of making a run for it, don’t,” she warned, as if she could read him as easily as a book.  The fact he chose to look down the dark alley instead of at her probably gave the idle thought he’d had away.

“Why the hell are you down here?” he growled instead of addressing her accusation.

“It’s your fault I am!  How else was I supposed to try and catch you to talk with you running from me like a kid instead of a grown ass man--”

“I’m not running from you, I told you to stay away from me from the start.  You’re the one who apparently didn’t get the message,” Levi returned in a low tone.

“Oh, I heard you, I just chose to ignore it because you’re being--”

“If you end that sentence with what I think you’re about to--”

“What?  What are you going to do, Levi?  Just because you don’t like hearing what I have to say, because you know its true?”

Anger was bubbling up inside him with rapidly multiplying strength.  He was trying to push it down, to clamp down on it for both their sakes, but it was a struggle he was losing the longer this argument went on.  He could tell she was frustrated even though he still hadn’t looked at her, that she was hurt, that it was bubbling up as well and that was why she was so aggressive at the moment, but he didn’t care.  Every word she threw at him, no matter how cutting, only stoked that anger right now.

“--damn it, Levi, look at me, will you?”

She flinched back from the anger in his eyes when he finally met her gaze, the red glint in his eyes growing stronger.  He took the chance to throw in a few sharp words of his own.

“You’re the one acting worse than a child.  At least a child’s ignorant when they stick their hand in the fire.  You’re the dumbass that tries to jump feet first to see if its hot no matter how many times you’ve been burned before.  A fucking incompetant idiot with a death wish is what you are!”

He’d never called her incompetant or incapable in any way before.  Before all this happened, she hadn’t been, he hadn’t been worried about her being able to handle herself, hadn’t thought that it would be a stupid decision or a hasty, rash action that got her killed.  Now, he was afraid her pigheadedness was going to lead to her getting killed because of him, directly or, after tonight, indirectly.

That was the other emotion swirling inside him under all the anger.  Fear.

She stuck out her chin in defiance, though he saw a flash of pain in her eyes at his words that were spoken with a harsh tone that let her know it wasn’t just his gruff exterior talking.  “Trying to shove me out isn’t going to work when I know that’s what you’re doing, Levi.”

“That’s what I’m talking about!” Levi snapped.  “What part of ‘stay away from me or you’ll get hurt again’ did you not understand?  What about me almost killing you the other night didn’t get through your head and trigger some common sense?  How could you not understand the words I will kill you?  I don’t want you anywhere near me, Y/N--”

“I already have been hurt, Levi!  I’m already a part of this, and I want to help, what part of that don’t you understand?”

“The part where you suddenly became so intent to fucking die!” he snarled.

Even more infuriatingly, she ignored that exclamation and tried to switch to her version of cold facts.  “You’re still not in control,” she said flatly, and Levi turned his back on her, already starting to walk away.  She simply followed, still talking.  “You’re not!  You’re coming down here and ripping people to shreds, past recognition.  You still don’t know how to control your bloodlust when you feed!  What happens when someone gets wounded on an expedition and they’re bleeding all over the place in front of you?  What happens if for some reason you lose control and you bite the wrong person?  What are you going to do, Levi?  Can you say that you’re going to stop, really?  With the bodies you’ve been leaving that’s already getting you a shadowy reputation below and above ground?  No!”

“None of this has anything to do with you.  It’s not about you, its not effecting you, its not your problem, Y/N.  You’re just desperately trying to insert yourself to feel important,” he spat out.  He didn’t believe the last part, but he just wanted her to go away, to leave him alone like he’d asked.  His hands were clenched into fists to hide the tremble, teeth clenched--

“I’m trying to help you because I want to.  Its not that hard to understand, Levi.  You need help, like it or not.  You can’t keep attracting attention by feeding like this.  You need to find someone who’s willing so you don’t have to keep feeding like this and to help you learn control, and you already know I--”

He blocked her out after that.  Stopping in the middle of his angry prowl through the dark alleys, body rigid, hands flexing in and out of fists.  His mind called back the intoxicating nature of her blood, how easy it had been to lose himself, the blood all over himself and the bed and drained from her body, how close she came to dying before a wild guess and a futile prayer managed to be just enough to bring her back from the brink.  She wanted that to happen again?  To offer her blood just for him to lose himself and drain her dry?  He couldn’t remember how she’d struggled or plead with him because it was a euphoric haze in his mind, but he’d felt his prey down here struggle for their lives, heard them plead before he cut off or muffled their cries.  His stomach lurched, threatening to send him forwards as his mind fabricated the vivid image of Y/N struggling in his grasp and gasping for him to stop as he drained her dry, too far gone to even flinch in reaction to her dying moments.  He wouldn’t let it happen.  He wouldn’t.  He refused, and no matter what he had to do, he wasn’t going to let it become reality, he wasn’t going to set up her pointless death by giving in.  He had to make her run from him now and never look back, had to make her see that he could and would hurt her--kill her--if she kept going down this path.  Now.  While he was still so gorged on blood he could stop himself out of raw satisfaction with all he’d drank.

“You’re so desperate for me to feed off of you again,” he said in a steady tone, interrupting whatever she’d been saying after he’d blocked her out.  “Fine.”

Once more, Levi pinned her against the wall.  Except this time he wasn’t gentle about it, and this time his grip didn’t give her even a hair’s breath of space to move.  His hand was firmly on her throat and angling her head upwards, the crimson in his eyes blazing once again with enough infuriated intensity he could see the glint of their glow reflected in her wide eyes.

“Let me remind you what you’re in for.”

Before he could second guess, before doubts could encroach, before he even had the chance to weigh the consequences, Levi bit down on her collar.  Hard.  She cried out in pain, the sound cut off when he squeezed her throat just enough to make her quiet.  The blood didn’t come nearly as easily as it would have if he’d bitten her neck, but that was part of the reason he’d bitten here instead.  Still, even after drinking from four people minutes ago, her blood tasted divine compared to the blood he’d been drinking in the Underground, the euphoria from last time starting to return.

Without the need for blood, Levi’s struggle to ignore the euphoria was a little easier, and no matter how much it hurt, Levi focused on every other part of Y/N to try and stave off the haze long enough.

She was trying to push him off--not that it was doing anything to stop him.  He could feel her pulse rapidly picking up pace, his grip almost bruising and keeping her firmly pinned against the wall.  She kept telling him to stop, to get off, called his name.  He heard every word.  It cut like shards of glass burrowing into his heart and lungs, blood still flowing past his lips with his teeth sinking relentlessly into her flesh.  He didn’t stop.

The commands turned to pleas.  The shoves turned to blows that wouldn’t even bruise him.  He kept her pinned against the wall, eyes burning but closed, teeth embedded in her collar, his grip tight both to hold her in place but also because of the coiling tension inside him listening to her plead with him to let her go.  He still didn’t stop.

Then he tasted it.  Felt it in her pulse and her posture, in the hot tears that fell on his face and neck.  Heard it in her voice.  True fear.  Normally, in a twisted way, it made blood taste better, somehow richer.  Now, it was almost acidic, leaving a nasty aftertaste as Levi finally, instantly let her go.  The abrupt motion made her crumple to the ground with a sob…

But by the time she’d have enough cognitive thought to look up, he would already be gone.  As soon as he let her go he walked away.  He didn’t have a destination in mind, didn’t pick a direction to head to eventually get back to the surface.  He simply walked, wiping the blood from his face again with trembling hands, eyes unseeing the paths he followed even if he was subconsciously using his other senses to guide him away from anyone who was still out in the streets this late at night.  It was like he was in a daze, walking without thinking, without seeing, without any sense of direction.  The longer he didn’t think, the better, because if he started thinking again, if he thought about it, if he thought, if he…

Where was he even going?  Where was he now?  He was alone, at least...completely.

His body shuddered, as if in anticipation as the daze started to pass, some part of him getting him to whisper a soft ‘shit’ before the thoughts started to rush towards him.  He tried to stave them off a few moments longer.

I had to do it.

I had to.

I had to, for her sake.

For her sake, I...

He kept trying to repeat the thought enough to convince himself.  His hand reached out to steady himself against the nearest wall.  His shaking hands clenched into fists.

I had to do it, I had to, I had to.

His face was wet.  Not just with blood--he could see pinkish drops of hot tears escape from the tip of his nose and the edge of his jaw and chin.  His teeth ground painfully together, jaw feeling like it would snap from the pressure as he leaned against the wall his fist had been pressed against, feeling his shoulder start to slowly slide downwards in halting bursts.

I...I had...

It felt like someone had gutted him.  Now, as he started to come out of his haze, he felt hollow, as if an amature had gutted him with a dull blade and simply took everything.  Everything except a suddenly overwhelming self-hatred that pierced and burned through him from the inside out, causing short gasps to burst past his lips despite the instinctual effort to keep it all in.

I made the wrong choice.

I made the wrong choice.

He shouldn’t have done it, but he did.  He’d really sunk this low, and he hated himself all the more because of it.  He should never have let himself make that choice.  He knew it was wrong, that was why it had gutted him even as he’d done it, he knew, but he did it anyway.

Why?  Why?

Am I really that desperate?

If I’m really this desperate, was she really wr--

No.

No...no, he’d made his choice.  It was done, it was over.  He’d knowingly hurt her to make her afraid of him, to make her leave, and she wasn’t ever going to look at him the same way again.  Just like he’d wanted so desperately to do in the moment.

The damage was done.

He had to accept it.

He had to live with it now, no matter how much it hurt him.

He’d done it to himself.

He’d done it to them.

And he couldn’t take it back.

It was far too late for that.

*Reader’s POV*

Nights had become a ritual of terror for you.

Every night, without fail, this very thing happened.

The lights were out, like they were supposed to be, so there wasn’t a fire, so occupants could sleep, because it was night.  Yet you stood frozen in place in the dark, the heat of the lamp dissipating the longer you stood frozen in place, staring into the darkness around you.  It was your room, but it felt like something sinister was watching you in the shadows.  And as soon as that thought crossed your mind, they were there.  Vivid and crimson, glowing from the shadows, freezing you in place as the demonic eyes pierced fear straight to your core.  Your chest tightened, breaths coming in shallow, painful bursts as your gaze locked with them.

You knew, logically, they weren’t there, but that didn’t change the fact that you saw them, didn’t change the sweat that dampened your skin, the chill that wouldn’t leave you, the struggle to breath, the inability to move, the unbridled fear they caused.

Lighting lamps to try and cast out the darkness for a little while was the obvious first choice, but it only made things worse.  They couldn’t light every corner, the dim light making the shadows longer and the darkness more prominent where the light couldn’t reach it.  Every time you let one of those shadowy corners slip into your peripherals it looked like there was someone right behind you, looming to attack.  And the lamps couldn’t stay on all night.

The only thing left was to blow out the lights so a fire couldn’t start, hiding under the covers like some frightened child before the fear could paralyze you.  The blanket was pulled over your head, your trembling yet rigidly tense body curled into a fetal position with your eyes squeezed shut.  Your mind relentlessly conjured up the image of fangs flashing towards you, those red eyes burning as they grew closer and closer to where you were huddled helplessly under a sheet in complete darkness.

But opening your eyes was worse.  Opening your eyes you’d have to face the darkness, and your mind whispered that once you opened them, your nightmares would be real, that you’d see the dark figure with the red eyes and the bloody fangs right in front of you, and as soon as you saw them, they’d attack.  With your eyes closed you could feel them there, but they still hadn’t touched you.  If you opened your eyes, it was over.  You couldn’t stand staring at the open dark of your room, without knowing what was hiding within.

And this wasn’t just your nightly ritual.  Even in the day you saw the eyes in your peripherals, in the shadowy places, glimpsed in passing and making you jump at shadows.

And if you did manage to fall asleep at night...the nightmares came.  Nightmares where you could feel it all again, could see just those damn crimson eyes, could feel the teeth sinking repeatedly into your flesh until you woke with strangled screams and muffled sobs, futility struggling to recover some sense of composure.

What made it worse was you didn’t have the comfort of being told it was just a dream, just your mind playing tricks on you, that none of it was real.

Your nightmares had already been real once.  Who was to say they wouldn’t become real again?

*Levi’s POV*

Headquarters was perfectly quiet.  The only sound was the occasional snore, soft, steady heartbeats, and breathing of most people in the building fast asleep.  The sounds he made in the kitchen as he went about making a cup of tea seemed loud in comparison, even if he knew for a fact that he was the only one who could hear them.

His insomnia had been relentless for days now, only able to catch snippets of uneasy rest in bursts that didn’t even amount to an hour on their own.  It was why he was down here now, water starting to bubble in a kettle, the mixture for a chamomile tea at the ready.  If he didn’t find a way to sleep, soon, he’d have to ask Hange to help him--he was that desperate for a solution.

Not that she would want to help him.

Hange opened and shut the door with a resounding slam that made cadets in the hall freeze as she stormed into Levi’s office, glasses propped atop her head to clearly display the unbridled anger in her eyes.  ”What the hell did you do?”

He knew why he couldn’t sleep, but he didn’t know what else to do.

“I treated the bite, Levi.  I know what happened.”

Once he heard the water bubbling in the kettle, Levi went about slowly pouring the water into his cup, eyes unfocused as his thoughts came back to plague him in the silence of the kitchen.

”She followed me into the Underground, Hange.  I just gave her a scare so she would finally stay away like I told her to.”

“Oh, you did more than that.”

“...What are you talking about?”

“Shit,” he cursed, yanking his hand back as he spilled some of the hot water onto his hand, setting the kettle down a little too roughly, trying to clean up the mess and ignore the burning in his hand.

“Have you seen Y/N lately?”

“No, and I don’t expect to, if she finally listened.”

“Keep up that attitude, Levi, and I’ll skewer you; I know you’ll heal.  You went too far, Levi.”

He’d been picking up the too-full tea cup, and as Hange’s words from the memory pierced him far deeper with his recently acquired knowledge, his grip tightened, and the cup shattered under his hand.  Flesh burning from the hot tea, herbs smearing against the now fresh wounds in his hands, crimson blending into the only temporarily yellowish orange liquid as the blood spilled down his hands, and bits of the cup stuck in his hand, while the rest lay shattered on the floor.

”She forgave you for the first one, and for good reason.  But this?”

--Late at night, just beyond the stone of the wall, behind two simple wooden doors, Levi could hear the only other occupant in the castle that was awake right now.  Her heartbeat was erratic with unbridled terror and emotional pain.  It had been her strangled scream that only Levi could hear that had pierced the quiet of Headquarters, the scream now reduced to muffled, body wracking sobs into a pillow or a blanket.--

Levi kneeled down in front of his mess, still-injured hands reaching out to try to pick up the shattered cup, to gather up the broken pieces, to clean up his mess.  He kept cutting his hands again, though.  He didn’t know how, he knew how to be careful, knew how to be gentle so he didn’t cut himself, didn’t break anything further.  But right now, he kept drawing more blood, kept inflicting fresh wounds on his hands and watching the small ones heal almost too fast to even notice they were there while the garish pieces sticking out of his hand and openly bleeding still showed, glaring at him in the dim lighting.

”Erwin’s already mentioned he might have to dismiss her as unfit for duty.  We both know she didn’t have anything else besides the Scouts before, and now...”

The damn cup was broken.  He didn’t even know why he was trying to recover each little piece, like he was actually going to try and reassemble it, like he could somehow fix it.  The cup was broken and he couldn’t fix it.

It’s broken, and he can’t fix it.

Broken, and he can’t fix it.

Broken, and can’t fix it.

Broken…

Broken...

”Levi, stop, please!”

--He was alone in the hall.  His lips were parted, but no sound came out, eyes half lidded, but glinting bright and wet in the moonlight with unrestrained pain, head leaning back against the stone with his chin tilted upwards towards the sky.  The sobs continued through the stone behind him, and he let out a slow, shaking breath before he slowly pushed away from the wall--

“Fuck!” Levi suddenly shouted, hand slamming against the mess in front of him, hand slicing open even further as more shards of the cup found its way into his hand or shattered even further from the force of the blow.  Blood dripped steadily onto his mess, painting everything that same, garish color, staining everything he touched.

He grabbed at the wrist of his injured hand, only then realizing his hands had been shaking the entire time.

”Levi, please!”

--he ducked his head low and tried not to hear the sobs that were already resounding mercilessly in his head, blending into the darkness with ease while his hand trailed absently along the stone as he walked away.

Next Part--->

Levi Tags:  @humanitys-hottestsoldier @clary-quinn @sunny-flo

Investment Series Tags:  @regalillegal​ @cecldcecld​

Vampire Levi Tags:  @mysteriousmagicx @thesilencebeforeastorm​ @super-peace-fangirl​ @psychiccvampire