#i need a hug.

[trashshouldnt]

my friend just basically said if I was endogenic they'd kick me out of their friend server. I'm mixed origin I'm pretty sure fuck my baka life.

[beantomii]

looking at literally every single picture of hobie brown i have to stop myself from exploding

[vivvy-of-the-lake]

I'm gonna go on a dumb rant but this means a lot to me because it just hurts so much thinking about it. I feel stupid and silly and immature getting this worked up over it but also entirely justified and valid in my feelings and I need help (more under the readmore)

so I've been reading the manga for Bocchi the Rock after having finished the anime (no spoilers in this rant, don't worry) and even before having started reading it, I had come across all the major 'gay Bocchi' meme panels and i was definitely keeping an eye out for them as i was reading

(also i was reading it at https://bocchitherockmanga.com/ which for reasons i will get into I do NOT recommend AT ALL. all the issues i'm about to talk about aren't there in the mangadex version)

i've gotten through most of the series with no issues whatsoever, until I got to chapter 58. These latest chapters were being scanned by someone new to scanlations as a whole, and in particular bocchi stuff (I won't name names because that's not what this post is about, you can find who to blame just by reading it yourself from anywhere that isn't mangadex)

I was very keenly on the look-out for this panel, because for very obvious reasons it's become a very popular bocchi meme:

...but reading the version i was reading, not only were there very blatant grammar and spelling issues, but when i finally got to the panel-

what the fuck. what the fuck is this bullshit

"I've it's been popular nowadays..." doesn't make any fucking sense and had i not read the other version first i might not have understood what it was trying to say, and all of the text is so horrendously scaled and placed so awfully

but the real issue is in that "fine print":

"I already know the scope of the test, and it seems I'm going to be that one big-breasted popular girl on the exam!"

what.

the.

fuck.

this makes ZERO FUCKING SENSE given the actual illustration, i know bocchi has big boobs in the manga but WHO'S THAT GIRL WITH THE BIG BOOBS, HUH??? WHAT'S HER SIGNIFICANCE???

it doesn't take an expert to realise that what bocchi's saying here doesn't even make any sense if she's not even the one with big boobs in her fantasy of what will happen if she repeats a year

now i always lean on the side of never attributing to malice what can be attributed to stupidity, and i was ready to just assume this was a piss-poor translation

but i found the scanlator making a post on the MangaDex forums about the situation, and in it they said this (reminder that the panel in question comes from chapter 58):

so it was intentional. it was a person actually trying to censor the original intent of the author because they didn't like that there was gay representation.

...

i'm done. i'm so fucking done with this.

"i have given up on the lame goal of censoring bocchi the rock" yeah that's a little too late pal. the damage this guy has done is still apparent because in almost all of the places online, including the TOP RESULT for searching "bocchi the rock manga", they still use this guy's awful, rushed, and - let's be honest - homophobic scans instead of the new ones that are actually good.

oh and of course only one guy in the thread actually calls out OP for censoring it in the first place, and then another guy backs up OP and that's the end of that.

these things are small, but it feels like being queer is just kinda not possible nowadays. everyone tries to take it away from us and it's inescapable, even in the places we go to in order to get away from all the bullshit and awful stuff happening in the real world.

stuff like this seems minor but it sends a very real message to queer fans of stuff like this:

we can't have anything.

[fapper]

Just finished my 2 hour long interview um

[sae-mian]

having a bad time, doodled a minasha (--_--)

[httpshujii]

I feel so...

Like..

Ok.

Yk that feeling where your heart just hurts so bad from someone's else's words or actions?

Yeah that.

I feel that.

[starboy14176]

.

[nhzmlplths]

all I know about my future is that I need L to be my girlfriend when I turn 16, that's it. I could end up in flipping Antarctica and I'd be cool with it.

[charonte-simi]

my supervisor randomly decided to criticize my work saying that if I don't show improvement in the next 4 weeks I could be demoted or terminated despite me being under the assumption that I've been working perfectly well, and without him even hinting at me having any poor performance issues. We meet every fucking Tuesday to discuss my work, but he apparently didn't think it pertinent to maybe mention these concerns then??? Instead he decides to just fucking drop it on me out of nowhere??

Thanks for the fucking anxiety attack Noah..

[hinamie]

I'm always pushing you away from me / but you come back with gravity / and when I call, you come home

[wispscribbles]

I love your ghost design. I wanna squeeze him :⁠^⁠)

If no hug then why hug-shaped???

[rottttenlasagna]

mama's boy

[ghosted-jazz]

I am not immune to this car salesman fairy and his traumaised iPad kid

[w-intent]

[veryblushyswitch]

Dipper & Pacifica hugging is so precious to me ✨

[massiveladycat]

leo shouldve learned how to cope with his trauma and his need for validation instead of rick slapping a girlfriend on him and calling it a day. in this essay i will-