#i need a healer

[thechthonicherbalist]

Season 2 of "Chemotherapy" just dropped

In other news, I forgot what it's called when you did the first set and then take a break so the body can recover and then you do another set and so on, but Vol. 2 of the album just came out. 😂

I sleep for 12-14 hours each day, have fevers and severe flares of chronic pain and fatigue again, pls don't expect me to be functional or remember anything. 🥲

[chibigingi]

Emmrich, every time I take him on a mission:

Me, who will always bring Emmrich everywhere:

During the fight with Ghilan'nain, I used camera mode to locate all of my companions, but when I noticed something heartbreaking, I snapped a few photos.

Some of the team members look stoic.

Some look determined.

Others look angry.

But only one looks terrified.

In fact, after playing around with the camera, I noticed that Emmrich is the only companion who makes faces like this. Davrin and Neve fluctuate between stoic, angry, and determined, Bellara and Lucanis are generally angry or calm, Harding and Taash usually look angry/focused, but Emmrich is the only companion who perpetually looks afraid to die—which is an amazing detail, but also incredibly sad. He constantly calls himself a coward, but I don't think he gives himself enough credit. Despite his overwhelming fear, he still throws himself into every battle and gives it his all.

Moreover, he's the only companion who isn't, in some way, a trained fighter. Harding is a scout who served in the Inquisition, Neve is a hardboiled detective who's always getting into scrapes, Davrin is a Grey Warden, Taash was basically forced to fight the moment they left the crib, Bellara is a Veil Jumper who learned to survive in the wilds, and Lucanis is a god damn assassin. Emmrich is just a professor who's barely left Nevarra.

Poor man is stressed every time we take him outside.

[batcavescolony]

Katniss is such an unreliable narrator. She says "Then something unexpected happens. At least, I don't expect it because I don't think of District 12 as a place that cares about me" girl you deliver strawberries to the Mayor, you hunt and trade for the district, when you fell at Prim being chosen someone caught you, when you went to Prim people parted for you, when you volunteered EVERYONE stopped. Idk how to tell you but I think you're a pillar of the community.

[lightpost]

He abused me, beat he didn't realize he had an angel and I hope and pray only God gives him the beating he truly deserves.

He didn't realize I was there to heal him the whole time he was only breaking me

I hope and pray God gives him the punishment he truly deserves

I hope and pray God is on my side in this abusive situation

I hope and pray he never gets another woman under that roof of his to abuse, beat and kill cause he will kill given the chance

he will snap and break when given the chance. I hope and pray he never gets to know the warmth of a woman again

I hope and pray God ends his heart in the swifted of ways

he's a monster he's ugly he's truly a nightmare

I hope and pray God takes his heart and throws it into hell where he belongs.

[cuppajj]

i had a vision

[clouvu]

Cooking up an older Clervie outfit design so I don't have to keep drawing her looking like her child self but Long

[eggyulksart]

i love star-lord mains they're always nice to me tbh. the fact that i ship these two is a direct result of the few star-lords i see that keep sticking to me (adam main). also i usually play in a stack (who doesn't use star-lord) so these interactions are really refreshing to me ♥

shoutout to that one star-lord who complimented my gotg 3 adam skin (he called adam pretty!!!) and then followed me around the map like a puppy... bless you, you kickstarted all this

[the-cookie-dragons]

I’m very thankful for shadowvanilla 🙏🙏

I have a really bad headache lol and it’s making it hard to sleepppppp BUT GOODNIGHT!!!! ♡(°▽°)/

[moeblob]

So does he, Gallagher.

[14dayswithyou]

Ren's favorite color is dark teal! My brain is so full with brainworms about this game. <3 I hope you have a wonderful day! I know you have answered this question for Violet and Ren already, but I would love to know what the rest of the cast would play (Race, Job) in FFXIV and what they would like to do the most there. 🙏 Thank you so much! <3

@waitlexist asked: Do you have any headcannons for Violet in MMOs? I ADORE MMOs(seriously, she’s a florist and a gamer? I want her so bad), and I’d love to hear a few headcannons about her! Also maybe some about Ren, Angel, and Violet all in a guild together? I like to imagine my Angel is as much of a gamer as me, and I can see Ren acting as an anon guildie to hangout with her. Although I’m not sure if he’d be a rouge-ish type class(or maybe Death Knight’s like in WoW), or a healer to keep Angel alive? I’m leaning toward the former, but I could also see the latter. Thank you, I’m sorry for the text wall KSKSJDJSJSBA ahem. Seriously, thank you for making this game. I dream of the day I can be in a poly relationship with Ren and Violet(v-type, if anyone knows what that means) ok I’ll stop yapping now! Thank you again, lol!

⌞♥⌝ Y'all will need to pay me $14,000 to shut up about FFXIV T_T In this essay, I will—

I like to imagine that Violet plays FFXIV every so often and somehow always has her jobs levelled up to the max. She plays as a Miqo'te who /gposes all the time in Il Mheg, and if she's not doing that, then she's hardcore raiding with some of her online friends.

I've mentioned this before, but Ren would be a Viera and play any support class like Scholar or Sage (because he thinks they look like cunty librarians /silly) — except he'll only heal Angel and refuse to buff/shield anyone else. If others notice this, he'll drop a single healing AoE in the most inconvenient place and leave them to fend for themselves.

[REDACTED] is a max-height Au Ra and claims that he exclusively plays as a Warrior because of the insane self-sustain — but it's actually because he forgets that there are other people in the party aside from Angel and refuses to be healed by anyone other than them. Always likes to Shirk Violet whenever there's a tankbuster <3 It drives her insane <3

My personal headcanon is that Violet was the one who got Jae into FFXIV (because they were classmates back in high school, and they both have a common interest in video games)!! He likes to collect all the minions and mounts, and often pretends to be new to the game to get free gil from veteran players. Jae also started out as a Miqo'te, but used his free fantasia to become a Hrothgar instead since he never seems to come across any.

Moth is an Elezen Dancer one-trick who always gives Angel the Dance Partner buff, no matter what job they're playing. It takes twenty minutes of Ren /playdead-ing in a corner and Violet explaining certain game mechanics for them to reconsider giving the buff to someone else. In turn, Moth always makes it a point to chew out Ren whenever he gives Angel the Kardia buff.

I also think it'd be funny if no one knows that Olivia plays FFXIV from time to time — and if she somehow ends up being the one who brings the gang together via an FC. Maybe someone she had a crush on in the past played the game, and wanting to impress them, she started playing the free trial. Now she's a level 100 Lalafell Pictomancer who always seems to fall for the hot characters AFK-ing in Limsa (a.k.a Violet lmaoooo).

If these guys were all in a Free Company (essentially a guild) together.... Hell on earth lmao T_T

There's always one person who keeps eating the food Moth uses as interior decor and it's tearing them apart. Violet now AFKs inside the FC house to find out who it is.

Olivia keeps inviting random people to the house and leaving them there without any explanation. There are literally four strangers also AFK-ing with Vi in the basement right now... Who are they... Why are they here...

As for Violet herself, she just wants to grow her plants outside in peace, but everyone keeps moving the furniture and blocking her path. Also... Whoever chose the housing exterior needs to have their subscription cancelled (it was Jae).

Ren keeps trying to convince Angel to share a room with him T_T And when he finally gets what he wants, it's at the cost of having Haurchefant's portrait stare down at him whenever he uses /doze next to them on the bed. He'll forever curse Violet for gifting that portrait to Angel.

Jae wants to build an entire submarine underneath the FC house for some reason????? He says it will help them make gil?????? And Violet is so on board???????? She's already a gilionare and a marketboard fiend??????

And if they were to all raid together... Hell everywhere djhsgsj ^^;

Violet got fed up with Ren's constant Shirking, so she picked up Dark Knight and frequently uses Living Dead to scare him.

Ren, in turn, started playing as a Sage and constantly Rescues her off of the map whenever she does this.

Jae likes the Viper job because he can make his glam pirate-themed, but he also enjoys Summoner because it comes with a Carbuncle he can pretend is Maple. Whenever Jae doesn't get healed, he'll summon Bahamut right on top of Ren to annoy him.

Since Moth has been banned from using Dance Partner on Angel, they've switched to Samurai and found that it's way more fun. They also really appreciated all the tips Violet gave them on how to play their job more efficiently.

Olivia gets mad every 5 seconds because nobody aside from Violet stands inside her Starry Muse AoE... and because Ren isn't giving her any attention shgjjsg ^^; She purposefully tries to out-damage Moth in hopes of getting his attention, but it never works.

I also have some more Violet & Ren FFXIV headcanons here!!

[ladyxgaga]

@ladygaga: It was such an honor to sing @FireAidLA for you during this incredibly challenging time. Thank you for having me, and thank you to everyone who donated. I love you CALIFORNIA, we'll keep moving forward 🙏🖤

[aroacecaduceus]

One wish I have for the Mighty Nein series is that Caduceus does not know how to fight at all.

Like not even a little bit. Like he’s completely useless in a bar fight.

Like, I want him in the fights, don’t get me wrong. I want them to show him cancelling crits somehow, like one of the Mighty Nein is about to be fucking destroyed and vines form around them and yank them back or something. I want them to show him casting holy weapon on Beau’s hands. Maybe he creates some fun shields when things attack.

But most of the time in battle, especially at the beginning, when he’s the new guy, I want him to be the most cringe-fail fighter to ever exist. I want them to get into a fight with pirates and just get knocked unconscious in one punch. I want them to rush out and accidentally steal that boat and realize they left Caduceus behind on the dock bc he didn’t know what was happening.

My man grew up as a healer and a graveyard attendant. If this boy threw a punch he’d break his hand on the other guy’s jaw. But don’t worry because he’d never think to throw a punch anyway.

In the game, he needed to do some fighting sometimes. But in the show, I think he should just hide away for nearly every battle. He should not cause a single drop of blood. Even when he’s angry. He’s the healer. Not because of the god he worships (she’s actually a freak) but because of a personal choice.

The only time he should attack is if they show the scene with sheep Caleb.

[squidolusreads]

[possamble]

Like take for example how she treats healing Laios leg!! We *never* see someone who was healed have lasting symptoms from a heal. It *itches* terribly — Laios looks like he will scratch it raw. The itching implies an incomplete heal — you only itch that bad when something is being regrown or scabbing like when you get tattoos. There’s something that needs to finish healing. This scene always stood out to me— because Falin notices and *heals* it. And that brought up a ton of questions for me (We see her cast magic, was it to soothe the itching? A phantom pain? Why was it itching in the first place? Didn’t Marcille finish the job? Why was he having after effects we never see someone have any before?) and i’m breaking my brain over it because is this an sign of Marcille’s engagement with healing in general? Perfunctory—a means to an end? Morals? I feel like there is something there for us because that scene wasn’t necessary to the plot so why did Ryoko Kui add this interaction? I think how Marcille engages with healing was telling us a lot more than I previously realized because she was in a medical researcher position before coming into the dungeon however when we see how this was practically applied by her was really interesting!! She’s so divorced from feeling empathy for the pain of healing and i think that’s some sort of self-preservation instinct. Idk i just feel like her engagement with healing is so fucking fascinating when juxtaposed with her beliefs on death pls share thots if any

I think what gets hidden in the details about Marcille’s healing is that no, she’s not a talented cleric and healer in the way that Falin is. But Fantasy settings tend to relegate healing towards “holy” and “good” magic that never causes harm—

and Marcille is what you’d get if you put a doctor and a surgeon with a modern, more realistic approach towards medicine in a genre that doesn’t usually allow for that. 

Like, you’ll see surgeons or doctors secretly being incredibly efficient serial killers in TV thrillers everywhere—but a fantasy series with a cleric or healer that’s secretly great at killing is a bit more rare to find(though not nonexistent, admittedly). Healing magic tends to be painted as either a religious discipline that’s not accessible to those who don’t have a tie to a deity or some ineffable force in the universe, or a matter of accessing some natural “life force” that exists in all living beings. 

Dungeon Meshi, of course, loves bending fantasy conventions in the most incredible ways, so that’s not how it works here. The series allows itself to contend with the fact that healing a human body requires extensive and painstakingly detailed knowledge of that body.

The reason that Falin might appear to be a much more talented healer than Marcille is because Kui dresses her up in all the archetypal traits of a Caring Cleric, and that immediately clicks with readers expecting fantasy conventions in ways that Marcille's expertise doesn't.

This isn’t to discredit Falin, obviously. She is a talented healer, as attested to by Marcille herself:

But the interesting thing is that she does it all on instinct, so it’s not an exact knowledge. Furthermore, she uses the gnomish system of healing, which is implied to rely more on the judgment and knowledge of natural spirits (and therefore takes less mana). So it’s not hard to imagine that she would have less exact knowledge of how the human body operates than Marcille does as a medical researcher. 

And that in and of itself raises questions: In a world where magic can immediately re-attach a limb, why would medical research be necessary? But Dungeon Meshi makes it clear that healing magic isn’t perfect, nor “holy” magic—it’s simply magic, like any other, carefully tailored to operate within the confines of what a human body needs in order to keep living. It’s not able to cure everything, and it especially seems to have gaps in terms of being able to treat illnesses that aren’t immediately solvable injuries.

And that all ties into Marcille's attitude towards it: It's a scientific and magical discipline like any other that requires careful study. There's nothing inherently good or bad about it—it was made by people, for people, and what matters is how you use it.

So, Marcille was at the academy, studying the ways that illness happens in a body, and carefully writing new magic to counteract or at least mitigate it.

(How I interpreted this was that she was likely part of research teams dealing with complicated things like autoimmune diseases, cancer, and other things where the body isn’t technically injured by a foreign element, but erroneously harming itself due to internal reasons.)

For me, this kind of explains her approach to pain in healing:

Honestly, what this immediately reminded me of was that a friend of mine had to have surgery on their throat when they were younger, and part of the procedure was waking them up without anaesthesia right after the surgery to make sure that they could still feel everything. They told me it was the worst pain they’d ever felt in their entire life—but from a medical perspective, it was necessary to make sure that none of the critical nerves in the neck had been affected. 

Sometimes in medicine, pain is necessary because it’s not some uncomplicated and bad thing—it’s a response of your nervous system, and sometimes the only indicator that your body is still working the way it should. And I think this is the mindset that Marcille has, which is why she seems so blase about it—she doesn’t think that she’s actually hurting people, it’s just a necessary part of the healing process. 

And in some ways, she just sees it as a realistic downside of the fact that you have to recover quickly in dungeon situations:

Normal recovery would take months. Healing magic shortens that to a few seconds. The pain is a result/tradeoff of forcing something that would naturally take a long time into such a short timespan. This all makes sense and is Right and Correct and Normal in Marcille's mind. It's not that she lacks empathy and doesn't care enough about not harming her patients: she doesn't think that it's "harm" at all.

Not a shred of guilt in that face before causing extreme pain. Contrast this to her constant fussing over Izutsumi on the smallest things—it's hard to believe she wouldn't even be a little apologetic if she actually believed this would be hurtful in a way that matters.

I think this is overall, less indicative of any lack of empathy so much as her incredibly stubborn and sometimes ridiculous way of compartmentalizing things to her own internal rules. I’d even argue that this mindset is preferable in surface situations, where people have the luxury of time. Dungeon healing hurts because it has to be fast and instantaneous—but if you're just treating a broken bone that can be put in a cast with slower healing magic to help, wouldn't you prefer that over an instant heal with the chance to cause brain damage, no matter how minuscule the chance is? Shouldn’t your long-term health matter more than short-term recovery and some pain?

To touch on Laios’s leg injury—we actually do see this kind of reaction to healing magic later on in the manga. When Marcille is teaching Laios how to heal, she ends up bowling him over because her cut gets super itchy:

but then she reacts positively and tells him that it's supposed to happen, before trusting him enough to try it on Senshi.

So while yes, it was an “incomplete” heal, I don’t think it was particularly telling about her approach to healing. And honestly, judging by the fact that it only distracted him when he was relaxed enough to be cleaning his armour before bed, it looks like she connected all the major muscles and nerves enough not to cause pain or risk re-injury by moving, but just left superficial stuff for Laios’s body to naturally heal. 

Her mindset makes sense in context: She also had to heal Chilchuck and Senshi, while conserving enough energy to immediately start digging for Falin’s body and potentially do a very taxing resurrection spell as soon as possible. 

After that, Falin healed the rest of Laios’s leg injury in a situation where it wasn’t needed, but there were no other high stakes to discourage it. Also, she can’t bear to see others in pain. ambrosiagourmet already did an incredible analysis of how this empathy doesn't really signify perfect altruism so much as Falin's deep discomfort with having to witness pain, so I won't go into that too much—but the important part is, Falin isn't inherently a more caring healer than Marcille. They are both making decisions for the patient based on their own approaches to healing—it's just that Falin's approach is preferable for dungeoneering overall.

(In Marcille's defense, it seems that dungeons are an incredibly specific environment that falls way outside the realm of what's actually taught to mages in most schools. Being a combat-oriented mage actually seems pretty frowned upon.)

So, in a lot of ways, Marcille is both realistic about dungeon healing (mana conservation by not doing full heals when not necessary, thinking about pain as the condensation of the time it would have taken to naturally heal, etc.) and very unrealistic about it. What she doesn’t realize is that the pain matters: In a dungeon, people have to be up and ready to continue right away, over and over. If it hurts every time, that makes them very averse to being healed, stressed out about getting injured, and affects their performance as dungeoneers.

All that to say… I personally believe that Marcille is very passionate about healing people. Not healing magic necessarily, but medicine as a whole. It’s not just a means to an end—it’s her main area of study only second to her research into ancient magic. And sure, she might have gotten into it because of her fear of death—but what I think people don’t give enough credit to is that her motivations changed from when she was a child. 

You see it here, when she’s laying her dream outright to the Winged Lion: 

She might be kinda racist herself, hypocritical, and short-sighted (mostly out of ignorance, I’d argue), but at heart, she hates that people hurt each other. She hates that long-lived races look down on everyone else just because of lifespan. She has—arguably very correctly—identified the disparity in lifespans as one of the main causes of interracial strife, and she wants to get rid of it so that everyone can fully understand and relate to each other as equals. 

And in some ways, it’s not even that insane of a dream. 

Knowing that people used to live as long as she’ll have to, and something changed in the eons since, is it really that weird for her to want to change it back somehow? 

But all that aside—the most important part of this to me is that… originally, she wasn’t actually that hung up on completely equalizing lifespans. She got into medicine because she wanted to, at the very least, close the gap as much as she could in her very long life. 

She was realistic about it at first. She thought that, by studying ancient magic’s ability to pull from the infinite, she could harness that infinite energy in tandem with medical knowledge to give more life to the short-lived races. 

But as she says it herself, it changed when she realized that she doesn’t have time to gradually unravel it on her own. 

So, yes. She got desperate. She got crazy. In light of all she did as dungeon lord, it’s easy to assume that she never cared much about healing as a profession, and is just a self-obsessed little girl caged by her trauma and trying to change the entire world to make sure she doesn’t have to be hurt. 

And… she is all that. She's my blorbo supreme but I'll be the first to insist that she is very much a complete hot mess. But my point is that these were very extreme circumstances, and Ryoko Kui has given us all the understated evidence we need to know that she’s actually a very passionate doctor otherwise. This is the girl who freaks out if she’s not useful to other people and not allowed to help:

Did actually get excited about making safe dungeons for helpful purposes beyond just learning more about ancient magic to fulfill her dream: 

And in tandem with her own personal trauma—not in opposition to it or to obscure it—cared about making life more peaceful and equal for everyone in the world. Not to mention, she had to have done some insane work to be acknowledged as the most talented researcher at the academy and be allowed onto teams that were researching new healing magics.

TL:DR, I think she has a lot of empathy for people and passion for helping them, it’s just expressed in a way you wouldn’t expect in a fantasy because Ryoko Kui doesn’t fuck around with her storytelling and genre subversion. She might not be a good archetypal healer, but she's an extremely knowledgeable doctor with a point-blank and intense attitude towards healing and medical treatment (see: her strictness about physical touch when teaching Laios about healing).

For me, all evidence points towards her going back to what she was doing before the story on top of her duties as Court Mage, kind of becoming a sort of Surgeon General for Melini as the head of health and safety for the country and whatnot. 

PS. I will admit that there's explicit evidence she's not good at healing here:

But this was also like... chapter 3. Written years ago. I personally feel that everything Kui has said about Marcille's background since is enough evidence that it was just a one-off joke before she had an airtight idea about who Marcille was and would be, but I'll concede that it's mostly conjecture.

But again, as I said, I believe that while she might not be the best at the heal spell that's used in Dungeons, she's passionate about being a medical researcher and the field of medicine as a whole.

[teyrnacousland]

Just a compilation of times Illario worries about and cares for Lucanis in The Wigmaker Job ♡

[uldahstreetrat]

just remembered a convo I had with a couple friends some weeks back so, for my FFXIV folks: