#i need a better tagging system jesus

[verturo]

tierlist. if you care.

[harrylights]

.

[stormz369]

☕💖 Can I Get Your Number? ☕💖 Ch 11

Jason Todd x (f)Chubby!Reader

written with a female reader in mind, first person pov, no use of Y/N, will probably get NSFW later, let me know if there's anything else I should tag this with!

warnings/labels: angst, little to no comfort yet

wc: 2.2k

Chapter Selection

Dick: heeeyyyy Jay?

4:03pm

Dick: … Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay??? Bruce is asking questions about your relationship.

4:45pm

Jason: And I'm ignoring them.

4:56pm

Dick: Well don't! It's important.

4:57pm

Jason: Not possible. It's not his relationship.

5:02pm

Dick: Look, I know you don't like sharing details with us, but Bruce is wondering how serious this is. Like … is she coming to the next Wayne Foundation Gala? Should we expect her at Christmas? Are you gonna tell her about your night job? These are things we kinda need to know

5:10pm

Jason: First of all, I'm not going to the next gala, so why would she? Second, it is way too early in the year to be worrying about Christmas.

5:15pm

Dick: … And the job?

5:25pm

Jason: … When do you tell someone something like that? We've only been together for a few months, but at the same time we've been together for /months/. It simultaneously feels too early and too late…

5:29pm

Dick: Yeah … you're asking the wrong guy, dude. I've only ever dated people “in the business” as it were … Tim might have some insights on that one.

5:31pm

Jason: Yeah, that's not happening.

5:38pm

Dick: Which leads us back to TALK TO BRUCE.

5:40pm

Dick: … DON'T YOU LEAVE ME ON READ YOU LITTLE SHIT!

6:30pm

Bruce: Call me

8:30am

Bruce: Jason, I just have a few questions for you.

9:30am

Bruce: Jason!

10:45am

Jason: Jesus Christ, B! Dick told me about your questions, I don't know what you want me to say! I have no answers for you, ok? This is all new, just let me figure it out!

10:50am

Bruce: As long as you're considering how best to approach the situation. I'm sure you realize you do not want someone else to tell her these things before you have the opportunity to. If you are serious about this relationship, sooner will be better than later.

11:02am

Jason: Believe me, I know. My worst nightmare is her finding out because some asshole tries to kidnap her. I know that us being together puts a target on her back, and if she doesn't know it's there she's at even greater risk. I know all this. It will be handled soon.

11:30am

Bruce: … That sounds pretty final; are you planning on ending things before something goes wrong?

11:41am

Jason: That would be the smart thing. The selfless thing. And I've considered it, I really have. … But I just can't. I don't want to. Can't I have just one good thing? Just this one, and I'll never ask the universe for anything else.

11:50am

Bruce: Jason, of course you can have good things! … But you need to find a way to tell her, before circumstance takes the choice from you.

11:58am

Jason: Working on it

12:04pm

Bruce: Good. We'll see you both at the gala next month then.

12:09pm

Jason: I think the fuck not!

12:10pm

Bruce: It's your turn, you have to come. And if you think that girl doesn't want to be shown off on your arm we'll need to revisit your training, because your observation skills are slipping.

12:15pm

Jason: … This kind of thing is exactly why I didn't want to introduce her to the family.

12:19pm

Bruce: Is it so hard to buy your girl a dress and spin her around the dance floor a few times?

12:30pm

Jason: If any of those socialites flirt with her I won't be held responsible for my actions.

12:33pm

Bruce: You will not threaten, attack, or arrange an attack on anyone at the gala.

12:37pm

Jason: Of course not

12:40pm

Bruce: That includes after they leave, Jason!

12:43pm

Jason: … Damnit.

12:50pm

“Thank god you got the security system in place, huh?” she chuckled a bit mirthlessly as they watched the news. The night before, Jason had installed new security measures around her apartment; better windows with strong locks -and bullet proof glass, but she didn’t know that-, motion detecting cameras on the balcony and front door, and stronger locks on both doors. Perfect timing too, because Bane’s escape from Arkham had just been announced. 

Jason pulled her closer, stroking her back, and kissed her forehead. “Not gonna let anything happen to you baby. You just stay inside for a few days, ok?”

She wrapped her arms around his shoulders; “can’t. Gotta go to work tomorrow…”

“... Please don’t. … Please, I’ll take care of your rent, just don’t go out there until the bats have him back in Arkham.”

She looked up at his face, frowning a bit. “Jay, we can’t let them hold us hostage in our own homes. He could be out for months, it’s happened before. Hell, if he doesn’t do anything immediately and someone else starts making trouble, he could be loose for years before they get around to him. Besides, it’s not like you’re not going to work while he’s out.”

This was it. This was the moment; he was going to tell her. The only reason he was going to work was because his work was putting Bane back in Arkham. Say it. Say it right now. … She needs to know, just say it. This is the moment… Maybe she’ll stay inside if she knows, then she’ll be safe. Say it. …

“... then … let me take you to work? And pick you up at the end of your shift too.”

“... Just for a few days.” She nodded, kissing his cheek.

He sighed, stroking her shoulder, and held her close. … Coward.

A week later they were sitting on the floor in her apartment, legs crossed, knees touching, both wearing short sleeve shirts. Jason's wrists were resting on his knees, so she could see his arms. He refused to look in her eyes; this was too awkward.

The point was to slowly get him acclimated to the idea that she was a safe person to show his scars to. His forearms had some of his less gruesome scars, mostly cuts and a few old burns, and he was already less uncomfortable with her touching him there, so it seemed like the most reasonable place to start. She gently squeezed his hands, looking down at them. Not touching yet, just sitting with the fact that they were there.

“... Can I ask how you got them?”

This was it. This was the moment; he had to tell her now. Tell her. Tell her where they came from. Tell her what you do. Do it. Right now… 

“... Um … well, …”

He was trying to find the right words, how to start this conversation. But all she saw was hesitation. So she squeezed his hands, smiling gently; “it's ok if you're not ready.”

It really wasn't. He knew it wasn't; she deserved the truth, she needed the truth, and she needed it soon. But it felt like too big of a thing to just say all of a sudden, and it was so easy to accept the easy out. He squeezed her hands back, smiling weakly.

“... I love you.” Just give him a little longer, he silently begged the universe; he'd tell her soon, just not today. Give him a little longer.

“I love you too, Jay~” God, how he hoped that would still be true when he finally told her…

“What do you think?” She spun on the pedestal, showing off a green dress. Jason and Steph had taken her to get a gown for the gala; Jason would have been happy for it to be just the two of them, but she insisted she needed a girl's opinion too.

Steph grinned. “I love that silhouette on you. … But the color ….” She waved her hand in a ‘so-so’ motion.

“What's wrong with the color?” She frowned, looking down at herself.

“Nothing, you look beautiful.” Jason smiled softly.

“But it'll look like Christmas!” Steph exclaimed.

She tilted her head, frowning. “Christmas?”

Steph nodded emphatically; “Jason only has one tie for these events, and it's red!”

“Oh! Well then I need a red dress!” She grinned, gathering up the skirt and running for the changing room. “I wish you had the tie with you to compare …”

“I can find a picture!” Steph grinned, going through her Waynebook photos.

Jason blinked a bit, not fully sure what was happening. “... Y- … huh? … you wanna wear red?”

She reemerged, grinning; “Of course; I want everyone in that room to know at a glance that I'm your girl~”  He blushed bright red, letting her take his hand and pull him toward a selection of red dresses. Steph smirked a bit, following along to help find a few dresses that would match his tie nicely. 

She blushed brightly and giggled at the soft groan that emanated from Jason's throat when she came out in a dress with a high slit and off the shoulder sleeves. Steph smirked; “That sounds like a yes to me.”

“Hmm…” She shifted and squirmed a bit in front of the mirror, frowning at her reflection. “I dunno about this one…”

Jason stood behind her, offering her his hands. “Why not? You look incredible…”

She blushed more, taking them. They stood in the mirror, him behind her and to the side a bit, her hands resting in his like he was leading her onto the dance floor. “I dunno, … the slit is really high, and the off the shoulder sleeves sit in a way that draws attention to my arm fat…”

Jason frowned, gently squeezing her hands. “And?”

She chuckled a bit, looking at his face in the mirror. “What do you mean ‘and’?”

“You're gorgeous. If anyone tries to tell you otherwise it's because they're jealous of how effortlessly beautiful you are. You're going to be the most stunning girl at that entire stupid gala. Really, getting to see you outshine all those hoity-toity-stick-up-their-ass bitches is going to make it worth going.” The sincerity on his face almost made her believe it. She giggled, turning toward him. 

“... I haven't danced since P.E. in middle school…”

“We'll practice. Come on, let's practice.” He gently guided her away from the mirror. He guided her hand to his shoulder, then held his hand by her side, hovering a bit. “Can I touch?”

She nodded, grinning, and his hand finally rested against her side, gently guiding her in a simple waltz. Neither of them was particularly graceful, but Jason had the most basic steps memorized from years of being forced to attend Wayne functions. They stared into each other's eyes, mesmerized by the adoration and security they found in each other.

The trance was broken by Stephanie's coos of; “Aww, you two are adorable~”

Jason cleared his throat, smiling softly. “So … this dress?”

She looked in the mirror again, fanning out the skirt a bit. “... You like it that much?” He nodded, unable to tear his eyes off her, and she grinned. “Ok, this one then.”

Steph spent the next hour helping her find shoes that she'd be able to walk and dance in before they were finally able to check out.

That night at her place, Jason offered her a plate and kissed her cheek. She was, inexplicably, excited about the gala, she had fun picking out a dress, and now he was going to butter her up even further with her favorite dinner. She beamed, leaning into the kiss, and blinked in surprise as he sat behind her, gently pulling her to lean against his chest. 

“... Babe?”

He hummed softly. “Yeah?”

“... You're … this is good?”

He nodded, arms wrapped around her waist, and kissed her shoulder. “This is good. Eat up~”

She grinned, trying not to vibrate with excitement, and ate happily. “Mh~ it's perfect~ thank you~”

“Of course~” Everything was falling into place. It had been a perfect day. There was no way she could be angry that he'd kept this from her for so long, right? She'd forgive him. She'd understand, and she'd love him anyway. She would… right?

Although, maybe he shouldn't be sitting so close when he told her. If it scared her, she might think him being behind her was a threat. And with him touching her like this, she was trapped against him. He didn't want her to feel trapped. He needed to find a casual way to let go of her, and get to the other side of the room so she would know she was safe when he told her … but he was so comfortable here … maybe just one more minute like this. 

… Besides, it was better not to ruin her dinner. … Actually, maybe he shouldn't do it today. He didn't want her to associate the meal with this news, after all. Plus, they had the gala coming up, if she was upset she'd feel beholden to him, to go together even if she was upset. He didn't want that. No, maybe he should do it after the gala. 

… Yeah, after the gala…

Next ->

Divider by: @saradika-graphics

Taglist (open):

@jawdropforkpop @krys0210 @snowy-violet @superthoughts @wordsfromshona @mystic60 @iwannabealocalcryptid @morstuavitamea-a @frosty--giants @arisa191 @prized-jules @phoenix666stuff @dinonuggysandhuggus

[sniigura-archive]

running ; leaving ; no one will stay

Adam x Fem! Reader

Summary: The only condolences you have is that Adam is worse than you.

Part 1 ; Part 2 ; Part 3 ; Part 4

CW/TW/Tags: COLLEGE AU!!!, Male masturbation, stalker behaviour, TW Adam, adam is really weird ok, obsessive behaviour, possessive behaviour, slight vvoilence (against adam), toxic and abusive elements , nudes (conseual), tell me if i missed smth!!, obgyn appointment, copper iud, (nothing detailed)

Adam was sure that he hates you.

His teeth bit down on his lip, nearly drawing blood. The picture in his hand crumbled, while the thumb from his other hand massaged his tip. He threw his head back, into his pillow. If he tried hard enough, he could still catch your scent on his pillows.

You have been plaguing his mind since the first fucking semester. It’s pathetic, really. He should get his shit together. How he tried to get you out of his mind, with other girls.

He remembers one who used the same perfume as you, how he pressed her against an alley wall after a concert. Turning her away from him, because she might have smelled like you, but she wasn’t even half as pretty. Another one who looked similar enough, with enough drinks in his system it was easy to imagine. He might have looked into her face while fucking her, but he still commanded her to shut the fuck up. Her voice was grating his ears.

There were many more situations like that, one time he recalled, how he slipped up and called a girl by your name. That shit sure was humiliating, he had to give her a pretty sum to shut her up. He was sure that he didn’t bother to make any of them cum. He wished to overstimulate you back tho.

He squeezed the base of his dick, feeling how harder he got at the thought of you. Adam wasn’t sure what he preferred, having you be in control or him controlling and bending your fuckable body to his will. Both are amazing views, which come with mind blowing pleasure.

Adam groaned while focusing his eye back on the bikini pic in his hand. Fuck. He wouldn’t have to be a common thief, if you posted more on your social media. It wasn’t his first time attempting to follow your account, it’s just the first time you accept his request. He follows already all your friends, he screenshots and screen records whatever he can get his hands on and, oh, how much he wants to beat Judas ass for still having couple pics of you posted.

He’s one pussy whipped fool.

Jesus, he’d much prefer your pussy sucking him in, with that vice fucking grip it got. Adam sped up his hand motions, the fantasy of simply you and your pretty pussy got him close. His cock was leaking pre cum, helping him to smoothly run his fingers over his veins. He needed you, badly.

But someone has been ignoring him for what now? A week? Unanswered messages and calls, straight up not even looking at him when he looks for you on campus. It pisses him off beyond belief. He extra bought you a new phone, and he knows it arrived at your place. Still, you’re walking around phone-less. Stubborn whore. Don’t bitches usually love pink? Ungrateful as fuck. Especially since it’s the newest model out there, way better than whatever piece of shit you got.

Judas gets a scowl, an eye roll when you see him. Him tho? He gets nothing. Not your hate, not your love. Pure horrible indifference. He needs you to look at him, it doesn’t matter why or with what intention. If Adam isn’t the center of your attention he feels like he might actually die.

Adam’s breath hitched at the feeling of his thumb playing with his prince albert piercing, he remembered the feeling of your tongue playing with the piercing. Your teary eyes looking up at him, gagging and choking around him, while he bullied his thick cock further down your throat.

He dragged the nails of his other hand across his thigh, trying to hold out longer. The effect the simple thought of you has on him is downright humiliating. His thoughts started to wander, to the fight you two had. Ugh. He wishes the mere mention of the guy wouldn’t tick him off like that.

Adam thought of a time before you, when he still lived with his father and life was great. When Eve didn’t betray him and he could stick his head in the sand. Before he became aware. Sometimes he considers sleeping with another girl, one of your look alikes, but when he thinks about it he feels sick to his stomach. At least he had his list of porn stars which look familiar enough to you.

Once he learned about Eves cheating, when he tried to forgive and forget, he tried to get revenge. In the end he couldn’t pull through, not even showing up for the date with another girl. Ghosting her completely. He remembers literal bile raising up in his throat, even though Eve hurt him like that, he couldn’t do the same to her.

So now, because of his hardcore monogamy ways, he can’t even sleep with a girl that isn’t you.

His mind wandering back to you caused his dick to twitch involuntarily. Adam bit his lip, focusing his movements towards his tip. He won’t last for much longer.

It never really matters what Adam thinks about, in the end he always ends up thinking about you.

Adam groaned when he felt the known feeling of euphoria wash over him, making sure to cum all over the picture. Covering your picture form made him feel some what better, imagine the real you marked up like that made him sigh. Another thing to put on his mental list of to dos with you.

If you take him back, that is.

He has to get a solid plan done, or else it’s over for him. He’d have to move back in with his mother, to keep his sanity. That would be horrible, having to tell Sera of all people about his heartache. He’d rather fight against Lute blindfolded with his hands tied behind his back than to open up to that tower of a woman.

Adam groaned while looking at his dirty hand. Damn it. He would have rather have his cum inside your pussy, or your mouth or all over your skin. He would have loved to have you beside him. Fucking hell. IF ONLY YOU WOULD ANSWER YOUR FUCKING PHONE.

—————————

Your friends were constantly nagging you about what the fuck happened between you and Adam. You’re surprised they haven’t notice the bruise on your wrist yet, maybe they did and just have the decency not to ask you…….No, they would have put one and one together and would have straight up jumped Adam in some random alley way.

So, like, hurray for concealer and chunky, cheap, bracelets.

Well, at least Adam looks to be miserable. From what you have been told, he’s more pissy than usually during training. He’s constantly venting to Lute, who is always rolling her eyes, sadly your friends can’t quite make out what he’s always complaining about.

To be honest, you’re also miserable. There’s only so much your fingers can reach, and non of it are the places Adam rubs his base against. UGHHH, you can’t get that asshole out of your head. God, who the fuck breaks a phone and punches a hole in your wall??? Your security deposit…………

The phone Adam sent to you was pretty, pretty expensive. Jesus. The note attached to it read “pussy too good not to text her back”. What a charismatic guy! Very much marriage material. Fucker.

Avoiding him was hard too, for a big guy he’s pretty sneaky. You have to be hyper aware of your surroundings. Or, well, you try to be. Big emphasis on try. There’s only so many times you see his car drive past your apartment complex and place of work before you were starting to lose your mind.

Feeling someone tap you on your left shoulder, you quickly turned around only to see no one. Your brows furrowed before you heard a familiar laughter come from your right side. Ah, shit. Men really can’t leave you alone. Maybe your pussy is that good……..

Looking into the warm, brown eyes of your exes made you frown. You need some sort of men repellent.

Judas was 5”11 tall and he tells everyone he’s 6”3, he had brown, bronze skin and shoulder length, wavy, dark hair which he wears in a middle part. He was build rather lean, with some sort of muscle definition. Man, you really have a type. Tall, dark and handsome. No wonder Adam was able to spin your head around like that. It’s either good or bad for you that Adam excepts a certain aesthetic in the band, so Judas had a similar style to Adam.

Fuck, they really conditioned you to like rock guys who are sexy and toxic.

Who is they you might ask? My chemical romance when you were 13, mostly.

“What the hell do you want?” You couldn’t help but hiss at Judas.

Your nerves were fried. You’re done for, if Judas can sneak up on you, so can Adam easily. You should stay at home to recalibrate yourself. But Uni doesn’t wait for anyone, at least your assignments got done during your attempt to get negative energy out of your body.

“Woah! What’s up with you? I come in peace, I prommy! Wanna hear what wild thing just happened to me?” He smiled at you, while he shoved his hands into his pockets.

“Ugh, if you fuck off forever after telling me, I’m all ears.” You massages your temples, while making your way to the bus station to get home.

Judas laughed at you, “You have to image, sweetie, I was at band practice. Right, and fucking Adam is throwing one of his famous temper tantrums. Can you image that he attempted to beat me up?? I swear on it! He accused me of hitting woman? Dude, what the fuck, am I right?…How could he think that? I’m genuinely so fucking lost….” He was scratching his head.

Oh my fucking god.

One thing Adam is talented at sure is jumping to conclusions. Ohhhhhhhh. What the hell. He wanted to beat up Judas??….Well better Judas than you. Man you’re a horrible person. You and Adam it’s a match made in hell. Back to therapy.

Halting suddenly in your steps, you immediately turned around.

You’re all about avoidance. It’s not because you’re not into confrontation, its simply because you lose your shit easily. Embarrassingly easily. And you were going to lose it on Adam, for real now. He’s done for, you were going to murder him. Where the fuck is he?

“Judas, I wish he would have smashed your lying mouth in. Leave me be now.” And with that you left for your pursuit on Adam.

Adam studies Economics and Management, the building is all across campus for that. Ok, think. Judas just came to you, probably directly from band practice. The room for that isn’t far. Time to embarrass yourself and Adam in public by yelling at him till you got ride of the anger cursing through your veins. God you wanted to smash his face in.

With quick and long strides, you made your way towards the practice room. Your angry steps echoed trough the empty hallway, since it’s evening most students are gone by now. The sun started to slowly set. All you wanted for today was to go home, watch porn ( while thinking of Adam) and pass out. But no!!! The universe punishes you. What did you do to deserve someone like Adam. He’s pure temptation. UGHHHHHH………Worst part of it all is, is that you still want Adam.

Reaching the practice room, you heard a guitar riff come from the inside. So Adam should be in there. Besides the guitar, you could hear some voices talking. You couldn’t make out what is being said. It doesn't matter to you anyway.

Throwing the door open, it crashed carelessly into the wall. Adam and Lute both looked rather surprised at your appearance. Adam more than Lute. Before Adam could open his mouth to say something, you decided that Adam shouldn’t speak,

“What the hell is wrong with you, huh!? You tried to beat up Judas? For what?! Some crazy delusions you made up in your twisted fucking mind?!” You couldn’t help but yell out. Your whole body was on fire and you felt your stomach fill with lava.

Still, you felt cold to your soul.

“…That fucking snitch.” Was the only thing Adam muttered, after making eye contact with Lute.

Taking a book from the shelf beside you, you made sure to aim at Adam’s head when you threw it at him. He was barely able to dodge, “You bitch! I think you threw enough fucking things at me, ungrateful cunt!” He quickly put his guitar away, throwing it beside him on the couch.

He stood up now, pointing a finger at you while he glared at you. In your opinion, he has no right to be mad, while you have EVERY right to be mad.

“I think not! Your head needs to be fucking….Adjusted! Ugh! Are you insane?!” Your hands were moving wildly, while you tried to search for words.

“Well, he fucking deserved it didn’t he?” Adam’s voice was sharp, while he took a few steps forward.

“Let me tell you this, Adam, between the two of you assholes, you’re the only one who left bruises one me!” While you spoke, you pushed down your bracelets. Even though it has been a week, it your skin was still tinted in an ugly colour, “Stay out of my life!”

Without bothering to see their reactions, you turned around, leaving the room. Slamming the door shut behind you, for extra dramatic flair.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

So.

That went

Well?

You were going to end it, for real. You’re so done with being alive. Fuck this. You need to quickly get home. Dragging your hands over you face, you took deep breaths while making your way out of the building.

If you weren’t so focused on leaving and calming down, you probably would have heard Adam following you, with his own quick steps. Sadly for you, Adam is fast and silent. A deadly combo.

Before you could properly react, Adam had you trapped in a small broom closet with him. Great.

He was breathing rather heavily, while his hands grasped your shoulders gently. Probably to make sure you wouldn’t run away,

“I gotta give it to you, baby, you really know how to get my attention.” Adam smiled at you, while his hands were rubbing at your shoulder. His hands started to wander, from your shoulder to your waist, briefly brushing over your breasts,

“Let’s make up, sweet thing…I know you want to.” His voice was a purr, right besides your ear. He smelled good. Grasping Adam’s own shoulder into your hands, it really was a shame for him to you don’t easily forgive and forget. Since you aren’t Jesus.

Shoving at Adam, his back and the back of his head hit the wall. Before he could react, you got on your tippy toes, to bit his neck. Hard. While you dug your nails into his arms.

“Fucking hell!” Adam grasped your arms into his hands, forcefully tugging you away from him, “The fuck is wrong with you?!”

“What?! Isn’t that what you wanted, huh? I agreed to sex, not affection.” You grasped Adam by the collar of his shirt, tugging at it with all your might. Showing off more of Adam’s skin, you were ready to bit down again.

Adam shoved you away, before you could bite him again. He held you at an arm length distance, looking into your wild eyes. Adam took a few breaths, trying to calm himself down. His brows were furrowed, while he studied your face intensely.

“..What’s up, baby?” Adam quietly asked you, as if he had fucking amnesia.

You couldn’t even form a proper word, you stuttered around, before you winded yourself out of his grip and turned towards the door. The door opened barley a gap, before Adam’s hand came down, right besides your head and slammed the door shut. Jesus. You flinched so hard, you think you realigned all your chakras in that one move.

When you turned your back towards the door, looking up at Adam with big eyes. He quickly removed his hand from the door, pinching his nose bridge. He carefully put his open hands in-front of his body, before he slowly exhaled his breath through his nose. Nothing makes him more sick than to see you scared.

“Okay, fuck, alright…” Adam slowly got on his knees before you. He looked into your eyes while he lowered himself to the floor.

The moment seemed frozen like that, Adam kneeling down while looking up to you. While your breathing calmed down, you felt the tension leave your body. Slowly but surely. You flexed your dominant hand, while looking at Adam.

Adam carefully moved his one hand, holding it open before your bruised wrist. You swallowed heavily, your fingers twitched, moving it towards Adam’s hand. You flinched away for a moment, before exhaling heavily and putting your hand into his.

Adam felt the stress evaporating from his mind, he can still safe this. He kissed your knuckle, as a gesture of thanks. Gently moving your bracelets to the side, he took a look at the fading bruise. He frowned, while brushing his thumb over it.

“..Does it hurt?”

“Not anymore.”

“Hmm, don’t worry about, baby, we can cover this up with some pretty pearls.”

“Dude, no.” You started to shake your hand out of Adam’s grasp. He didn’t seem to want to let you go.

“Why? You more of a diamond type of girl?” Adam let your hand reluctantly go, his hands went to your thighs.

“No, I’m more of an apologise kind of girl.”

“Ughhhh, I did nothing fucking wrong! You bitches and your fucking apologies…Have you thought about apologising to me, bitch?! Who fucking laughs at someone when they get asked out on a date?! Of course I only end up liking cold hearted whores…” Adam, after his little outburst, catches himself again. He nuzzled his check into your stomach, with his bend back. Alright.

“Well, then at least tell me what freaked you so out? Like, I still don’t know what even happened! Big words from you..” You told him sternly. Adam looked at you like you just shoot him.

“Babyyyyy, let’s just forget this whole thing happened,” Adam started tugging at the waist band of your sweatpants, the smile on his was more of an painful grimace “Let me eat you out till you can’t think anymore. I’m sure I can make you cum at least three times before my jaw locks in…” He was already shoving his face into your crotch. He reminded you of a dog.

Adam nudged his big nose right against your clit, making you moan. Shit. You grasped Adam’s hair and tugged him away from your clothed pussy. He straight up whined at that. Oh my god……He needs to stop being so hot. You’re dying. Where’s the version of you who wanted to pull through on that celibacy promise? You need to channel her.

“Stop that.” You simply hissed at him. You let get off his hair.

“What the fuck do you want from me?! You don’t want me to buy you shit and you don’t wanna fuck! What fucking else can I give you?!” He yelled at you. His fist hammered against the door, you felt the vibrations against your back.

You couldn’t explain why, but your heart tugged for him, “What was on my phone?” You decided on carefully asking him.

“That fucking bitchass Lucifer! As always, out to ruin my fucking life! He already ruined it, thrice! Can you fucking believe that?!! And he’s still slobbering all over my dick and sloppy seconds!”

“………….Lucifer, like, the devil…from the Bible…?” Maybe Adam is more unwell than you thought………..Can you leave safely through the door?

“No!..Fuck, maybe he is….Well, he’s just as fucking horrible as the devil!” That sure was a statement!

“I need you to, like, start from the beginning.” You took his face softly into your hands, brushing his nice cheekbones with your thumbs.

“..My last two girlfriends cheated on me with Lucifer. You probably already know that, from those gossiping bitches you call friends. That fucking cunt also texted you,” He took a shuddering breath, while nuzzling his nose against the palm of your hand, “Worst of fucking all, he used the same exact text I found on Eves phone! Can you fucking believe that?! How can he be so fucking confident that same fucking scheme will work on you too?! UGH……Fucking Judas also gave him your number….”

You nodded your head while he spoke through his monologue. You brushed his hair strands away from his face, he finally made eye contact with you.

“..But I don’t think I ever met him? Why would he text me?.. Is that why you wanted to beat up Judas?….You don’t need to worry, Adam, I already have my hands full with you.” Adam scoffed at your words, but his brows weren’t furrowed anymore and his breathing calmed down.

“I wanted to beat that fucker up for hurting you…Fuck, you’re…You only deserve the best.” Adam pulled out his phone, opening up instagram. You saw him switch from his main account to a burner account, which is real as fuck of him. He showed you an instagram account of a weirdly pale blond twink.

“….Ah. Okay, he was in the store. Hmm, I kicked him out when he flirted with me though. He’s married, isn’t that weird? Yikes.”

“That cunt flirted with you?! Motherfucker…Him and Lilith are in a weird open marriage. I would rather cut my dick off than have my wife fuck another guy, behind my back. Pathetic cuck..” Adam got up from his kneeling position, resting his chin at the top of your head, “How about you tell me how you kicked him out? That would surely put me in a better fucking mood..” Hands wandered across your back, towards your ass and giving it a rough squeeze.

He moved his head, so he could brush his lips against your ear, “Or you could take me up on that offer to eat out your pussy until I get you to squirt all over my face?”

Jesus fucking Christ, he’s giving your pussy butterflies.

“….How the fuck did you even unlock my phone?” You asked with a shaky voice.

“Don’t have your passcode be your birthday, baby. Not my fault you’re so easy to fucking hack.”

Ok. That’s a mistake you won’t make in the future, for sure. How does he even know your birthday?? Even Judas forgot your birthday.

“Alright! Well…No sex!”

Adam looked shocked at your words, “Till when??”

“Till…..You’re forgiven!” You decided on.

Adam straight up pouted at you.

“And you can’t sleep with other girls!” You quickly added in. You hope he dies off blue balls or something.

Adam snorted at your words, “Haven’t been doing that anyways, baby.” He took your face into his hands, “Have you been fucking around behind my back?” He sharply asked you, while looking at your face.

“The only thing fucking me are my fingers.” You decide on telling him.

“God, I wish those were me…” Adam sighed heavily, “…..Am I right to assume that you won’t send me any nudes? Won’t you help a guy out? Please, babe come onnnnnnnn.”

You successfully got out of Adam’s grasp, winding and wiggling your body so he would let his grasp fall from you, “I’m going home.”

“Sexy, you don’t even need to take the pic yourself! We can do it right fucking here, pull up your shirt and show me those perky nipples.” Man, he was very persistent, “Or a panty shot! That’d be hot as hell. Fuck, only the fantasy of you naked got me already all hot n bothered…”

Adam gave your cheek a sloppy kiss, while whining into your ear, “Forgive meeeee, you know no one else can make you cum. Forgive. Now.” He tried to order you.

You simply giggled at his antics, while holding his face in your hands. You gave his cheek a kiss, but Adam was anything but opportunistic, he quickly captured your lips in a hot french kiss. Adam grasped your hips into his hands and rolled his hips into your own. He sucked your tongue into his own mouth.

Yeah, if Adam asked you again to fuck you would say yes immediately.

Adam disconnected your lips, while smirking at you. He grasped your face fully into his big, warm hands and oh so romantically told you, “Baby, if you ever fuck another guy, I will ruin your whole fucking life. I mean that.”

You dumbly nodded at Adam, while looking up at Adam’s burning, golden eyes.

He patted your cheek, “Hmm, good girl. Let’s get going, I will drive you home. Oh, and also, start using that fucking phone I brought you. Stop being so damn stubborn. Let daddy take care of you.” He winked at you after that last sentence.

You just rolled your eyes at him, “Yeah, yeah.”

Adam made a tch sound, but smiled at you. He slung his arm around your shoulders, leading you outside the broom closet, before he got out he adjusted his bulge in his pants. Man, he’s oh so fucking forgiven. You were so weak. Time to become a nun or something.

He wrapped his hands around your waist, dragging you into his side. He kissed the side of your head while he walked you to his car.

Man, how were you going to explain this to your friends?

“By the way, you have to tell Lute that we are good again. She attempted to murder me when she saw that bruise.”

————————

You sat in the waiting room of your OBGYN, nervously fiddling around with your phone. Your period came early, for once, Basically right after you made up with Adam. Probably because it was stressing you out so much. Or something like that, you weren’t really in tune with your body.

So! You weren’t pregnant! Yay! Now, you get the copper IUD inserted. Only so Adam can fuck you raw. Great. Maybe you should have never forgiven him.

[Adam Godfree]: what r u doing bae 2:14 PM

[Reader]: About to get my cervix pierced. 2:20 PM

[Adam Godfree]: by some guy who isn’t me??? 2:20 PM

[Adam Godfree]: who do u fck when i’m not there to stuff that greedy pussy 2:21 PM

[Reader]: Copper IUD lol 2:21 PM

[Adam Godfree]: oh 2:21 PM

[Adam Godfree]: right 2:21

[Adam Godfree]: well at least tell me the doc is a woman 2:21 PM

You sighed heavily while rubbing at your forehead.

[Reader]: Gtg. Kind of scared. Let’s hope I won’t pass out. 2:22 PM

Right on time you got called in. Thank fuck. You didn’t bother looking at Adam’s response.

The appointment passed by you, like you were in the passenger seat of your own body. Your doctor inserted the horrible thing and at first you thought it’s like a period cramp. But then it fucking hit you. You were done for. This was the first time you ever actually passed out.

At least everyone was nice about it, you lied in an extra room on the floor, with your legs up in a chair. After another wave of a cramp passed you, you were a goner again. Nurses and doctor assistants kept going in and out, checking in on you. You kept your eyes closed, while focusing on your breathing, you heard someone else enter the room. Nothing new.

“Sooo, are you the boyfriend?” A female voice asked into the room. You heart two distinctive foot steps.

“Yeah, I’m the boyfriend.” Oh my god, that was Adam’s voice.

“Aww! That’s so cute. You’re suchhh a good guy!” Adam’s answer was a simple grumble.

Keep calm. Be cool. You kept your breathing even, while simply having your eyes closed.

You heard and felt Adam crouch besides you, together with the assistant. Letting your eyes flutter open, you made eye contact with Adam and the assistant. She had a coke can in her hand.

“Hi there! I got you this, to get your circulation going again. You’re doing much better than me when I got mine inserted, I was passed out for 30 minutes straight! Anyways, I gotta go again. Hope you recover quickly.” With that she went away as fast as she arrived.

You held the can in your hand while laying down, “Help me up?” You eyed Adam.

Adam grasped a hand below your back and held your other hand, while helping you up. He’s so sexily strong. While sitting like a wet rag on the floor, you let Adam open the can and then sipped at it.

Adam brushed your hair away from your face and watched you, “Baby, you really know how to scare a guy. Really that bad, huh?”

“…Image if someone shoved something up your urethra.”

“Fuck, babe, you don’t know how happy I am that birth control is a woman’s job.” Yeah, yeah.

You let your head hit his shoulder, letting it rest there. He carefully petted your hair, while kissing your forehead. His hand slipped from your back towards your ass, “..So, when does it start working?”

You reached out to pinch Adam’s cheek, “I am on my period. I just got something pierced through my cervix. The more you annoy me the less I want to fuck you.”

Adam nuzzled his nose against the top of your head, “…You know what helps against cramps? Orgasms. Trust me, baby, I can make all that pain disappear.” Sleazy guy.

You swatted him on his chest, “Leave me be.” You were going to turn away from him, but another wave of nauseous and vertigo hit you.

Adam quickly caught you and pulled you into his lap.

“Alright, lovely, I got you.”

“…Why did you come?”

Adam looked at you like you were stupid, “You said you were scared? Why wouldn’t I fucking come?”

You simply shrugged. Adam pressed you more against him. You smelled good, you always did. Adam wishes he could keep you like this, forever. Where it’s safe. Where he can watch over you.

The doctor walked in, smiling at you.

“Are you feeling better? When you feel ready, I would like to do an ultrasound. To confirm the place meant of the IUD.” She told you, in that customer service voice you know from yourself.

You nodded at her and got up, with Adam at your side. Following her, you told Adam to wait outside. Which he seemed unhappy with, but whatever.

Quick in and out. Removing the gel from your stomach, you made your way out. Adam was waiting with your bag in his hand by the door.

“Ready to leave?”

“Uhh, in a bit. Sorry, I have to make an check up appointment. Will be quick!” You walked towards the reception.

Chatting with the woman at the desk, you made another appointment.

“Oh, could you guys send me an invoice, like usually?” You asked her, while your fingers thrummed against the wood.

“No need, mam, your boyfriend already paid for today.” Ah. Of course he would.

Thanking her and wishing her a good day, you walked back to Adam.

“I’m ready now. Sorry.”

“ ‘S okay, baby, I like watching you.” Adam intervened your fingers and walked you to his car.

In the car, Adam glanced at you, “..When did you wake up, anyway?”

Here it was, the perfect opportunity to talk about relationship. Now was the time to talk. To establish everything.

“ ..When you two were already crouching down besides me.”You decided on telling him. Fuck. What are scared off?

Adam nodded his head at you, while driving you to his apartment.

He parked you on the couch and told you to watch whatever the hell you want, he’s going to take a quick shower. Apparently he came to get you right after the gym.

Laying on the couch with mind numbing shows running in the background, you heard a phone vibrate. That wasn’t yours. Looking around, you saw Adam’s phone lay on the couch table infront of the sofa. Well, if Adam can’t respect your privacy……But are you as bad as Adam?

Yeah, you’re even worse than Adam.

Taking his phone into your hands, making sure you remembered the exact way the phone laid there, you swiped to unlock his phone. Shit, his passcode is one of those pattern drawing things. Ugh. Okay. You held his phone against the light, so you could see the pattern on his phone screen.

Of fucking course it’s an A. Why did you even have to think about it?

Okay, you are in. What now?

Opening his messenger App, you were surprised to see that you and Lute were at the top of his chats. That’s nice. When you scrolled down to see contact names like “Amelia. BJ 2/10” “Olivia. Ok tits.” “Alice. Lesbian” made you want to jump off a building. At least your contact name was simply your name?? Jesus.

Making sure that Adam was still showering, you decided on opening his gallery. Whatever possessed you really wanted to hurt your feelings, apparently. Man.

Well, his gallery seemed normal? Hm. Scrolling through his folders, you saw one that catches your eye. The title was a simple heart emoji. Opening it, because you hate yourself, you came to face the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. She had deep, dark, brown skin, with coily black hair put into nice box braids. She was short, and her body reminded you of that of Venus of Willendorf, with wide hips, big breasts and an ample stomach. You really should know the comparison was accurate, since she was completely naked.

(How will you ever compare?)

The stretch marks complimented her beautifully. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. You shoulder really learn how to mind your own business. It was full of nudes of her, obviously taken by her and she seemed completely enthusiastic. Scrolling a bit further, you saw a video. Making sure the phone volume is silent, you opened.

You were going to be sick, actually. You aren’t stupid, you knew that it would be a sex tape of Adam and his ex Eve. Adam and Eve. That’s cute. You hoped it would be pure filth.

Of course it had to be the most romantic sex video in the whole universe.

Alright! Let’s ignore the fact that you were slightly turned on and more on that your heart was broke. From an guy who’s not even your boyfriend.

Making sure the gallery app is closed, and whatever was open before you got your hands on the phone was open, you laid it back down from where you grabbed it. Exact same placement. Deep breaths. Why would you even look, are you stupid?!

Laying fully back down, you took deep breaths, while rubbing at your forehead. During your silent breakdown, Adam finished his shower and got dressed. Seeing you like that on the couch, he was kind of confused.

“Everything good?” He leaned down to get a better look at you.

“… ‘M getting a migraine.” You decided on telling him. Not a lie and not the truth This should pass without alerting Adam.

Adam clicked his tongue and sat down at couch, and tugged you into his lap. He massaged your forehead, temple and scalp gently.

“You’re doing so well, sweet thing. Get some rest.”

Even though he’s horrible, Adam is still warm, big and soft. He makes you feel safe, which is why you started to nod off.

Adam laid carefully down on the couch, and you stirred slightly awake. He quickly moved to calm you down again, to get you back to sleep, which succeeded.

He loved nothing more than to have you with him. Shit, he had you. Basically. At this point Adam considered you to be his.

It had to be worth it, after all, that he sabotaged your relationship with Judas.

[amaranthineghost]

ahh!! i think i speak on behalf of a lot of people when i say i need a part two, because that was so amazing and so beautifully written 🫶🏻🫶🏻

| I CAN'T NOT HAVE YOU, I'LL TRAVEL THE SOLAR SYSTEM TO MEND OUR STARS ( lando norris. ) |

ꕥ pairings: lando x reader

ꕥ parts: 1

ꕥ tagging: @gulphulp

ꕥ summary: they hadn't seen each other in months after their breakup, which left them in more misery than they thought. because now they'll do anything to make it work.

ꕥ authors note: I've been planning this in my head while writing the first part to this and i really like how this came out! going to work on christmas imagines and also finish up a request that I've been meaning to write!

ꕥ warnings: smut (at the end if you don't want to read that part), heavy angst (wanted to break some hearts), mentions of alcohol abuse and heavy drinking, mentions of eating struggles. not proofread the end.

IT'D BEEN MONTHS. months since he last abandoned her in their old apartment. since he drove off in his mclaren, punched the rearview mirror because he couldn't take it. to this day, he regretted it with every fiber of his being. he tried to convince himself for days on end, it was for the better. but was it really?

he was struggling. he couldn't sleep properly, staring at the dark ceiling, feeling beside him in the bed for another warm body, breaking his heart more every time he reminded himself that she wasn't here. it was cold.

it was cold despite the blistering summer heat of monaco, windows open to let in the heat. max swore at him every time because despite being rich, he was letting out cool air. but lando couldn't stand the cold. without her, his heart was frigid.

it worsened as the months grew colder and races passed him by. he was peforming fine, for now, but he'd reach his limit soon enough.

he hated when the air got bitterly frozen because this year, he wouldn't have her. he wouldn't have the heat that radiated off her to keep him warm.

he'd waste himself away with alcohol to forget the memory of leaving her. it turned his stomach in knots everytime to think of her watching him leave because they didn't know what to do to fix them. he wish he knew, he should've.

more often than not, he'd spent his nights on bathroom floors of the club, puking his guts out into the toilet, or sitting on the kitchen floor belonging his temporary roommate, max fewtrell. he sat against the tiled floor and wooden cabinets with a half-emptied bottle in his hands, tears on his face.

he'd sit there for hours, wasting away with every sip burning at his throat. he hated alcohol, but it was the only way to cope because he didn't want to remember any moment without her.

when he was nearly passed out on the floor, max would drag him up by his arms, forcing more than a few glasses of water down his throat. he'd grown familiar with his friend's new sulking.

max threw him on the guest room bed he didn't bother to make because he was miserable. he made it everyone's problem then. he'd leave his passed out friend a concoction of medicines to help with the hangover, he'd gotten used to this routine for the past couple of months.

when lando would stumble his way down the stairs, hands wrapped in his curls with a splitting pain through his head and a grimace on his face, all max would comment is "well, aren't you a pitiful sod."

lando rolled his eyes, groaning at the pain as he did so, sitting on a chair at the table across from his best friend, cringing at the resemblance of dinners with his girl—who wasn't even his anymore.

"jesus, mate, maybe you do need an intervention." he'd push his bowl of oatmeal towards lando, watching the expression on his face closely.

"I'm fine."

"clearly not," max scoffed, "mate, it's great havin' you here, but y'need to sober up."

"I will."

"you've said that last month, and the month before that, and the month before that." he shook his head, "I don't even get why you guys broke up."

lando groaned, rubbing his fingertips to his temple and chugging the water before he spoke, "it wasn't working out, 'ts for the best."

"for the best? are you kidding me?" he scoffed his friend's words, he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

to max, breaking up was for the worst. he could tell lando was in misery, and he'd guess she was the same, maybe worse. maybe he didn't know much, but he knew enough to know that they were meant for each other.

"I'm not kidding," he muttered, pushing the oatmeal around the bowl, his spoon clinking against the sides, "besides, we tried to fix it, 'n it didn't work."

he paused, "fix it 'ow?"

lando rolled his eyes, feeling the consequences of his actions through his head, mumbling under his breath, "we went out to eat."

"you're jokin' me?" he leaned forward, a look of disbelief and disappointment on his face, "you went out to eat? how's that goin' to solve anything?"

lando shrugged again, refusing to look max in the eye as he pushed the mush around in his bowl, picking out the bits of fruit throughout.

"you're a real geezer, y'know that?" he sighed deeply, leaning back into the stool as he sat looking at his idiotic friend, "it was a perfectly salvageable relationship, mate, and you just threw it away." he shook his head, his arms crossed against his chest as he leaned his head on one hand.

"you gonn' call me a muppet next?" he aggressively bit into the small strawberry.

"might as well because you're acting like one. now why did you break up with her?"

"she broke up with me." he quietly corrected him, though it didn't seem to shed light on the fact that they didn't try as much as they thought they did.

"then fight for your relationship!" max exclaimed, throwing his hands up in response, "did you ever talk about what was wrong?"

"we didn' have time to," lando admitted, "and we didn't know what to do." he pushed aside the bowl, having barely touched the food residing in it. it's gone cold now, just like him.

"make the time!" he suggested, jabbing his finger into the counter to make a point, "when was the last time you were alone together?"

"when we had dinner together."

max groaned, shoving his face into his hands, rubbing his closed eyes on his palms. lando was starting to give him a headache, "when was the last time you were alone together, no people, no cameras, no fans, just you and her doing something?"

"i 'ont know."

"jesus, man." his voice muffled into his skin as his face remained in his palms because of the idiocracy of his friend.

"well, what do you suggest i do then, max?" lando's tone got seemingly more aggressive and annoyed, the volume of his voice raising slightly.

"actually spend time with her! take her on holiday!" he suggested, matching energies.

"mate, I can't just ask her after months of not speakin'," lando's stool pushed against the floor as he stood up, he was agrivated. he harshly grabbed the bowl with the cold food and shoved it in the sink.

max turned in his seat, "right, so just give up and go back to drinkin' then?"

lando ignored the comment, it infuriated him because max was right. if he didn't find the solution to his problem, he probably would go back to getting blackout drunk. all in hopes that'd help forget his misery

he leaned against the sink with his arms, his head hung between his inner biceps with his eyes closed, taking deep breaths before asking, "how should I ask her then?"

"you truly are a muppet."

"christ, just help m'out here!" lando pleaded because he couldn't take it anymore. he'd been losing himself to however many bottles of alcohol that'd stacked in the bin and the amount of over-the-counter drugs he'd force down his burned throat. all to forget what seemed like an impossible fix, but all he needed was another person. just because they didn't know what to do doesn't mean others wouldn't.

and of course max would help. he just had to give lando a hard time for screwing up so badly because he would've never expected him to show up at his front door midday, stumbling drunk and muttering slurred phrases about her.

his first thought when he saw his disoriented friend was to wonder if something had happened, the obvious answer being, obviously. because lando barely drank. max knew how much he couldn't stand the taste and chasing burn so it wasn't often you'd catch him drunk, much less to this extent.

he knew it had to involve his girlfriend by the here-and-there words he could decipher from the rest, but he couldn't expect to get the full story from the utter nonsense his friend spewed.

it wasn't till morning max discovered the extent of lando's stupidity.

" 'ts your relationship," max sighed, "and you realize she might not be so accepting to see you."

it hurt to think about. he didn't know what was worse, for her to be in such misery like himself or for her to not want him back. his stomach tied itself in knots to even think about, but he was the one who left her in the first place.

"yeah, I know."

he was lost without her. everything seemed so meaningless without her by his side, though she hadn't been for months, even when they were together. but the idea of her presence somewhere in his vicinity was all he needed.

she was like a drug he tried so hard to quit because it seemed to be getting him no where. but he was addicted. all he thought about when he wasn't drunk was her. every single dollar wasted on booze was drank to forget her. the lack of her in his life.

so when he showed up at her doorstep, it was more than just a shock. she'd opened the door, the last thing she expected was to see him, standing with an expression that seemingly matched hers. the smell of booze wafting from his clothes and the bittersweet smell of his cologne she had long forgotten about. smelling it again brought back everything she tried to learn to forget about him.

she wanted to be mad, to push and kick him away, but she'd been waiting for months for him to reappear into her life. for him to come back to her, the anticipation built in her body every time the door bell echoed off the walls, or knocks that pounded against the door.

but instead she slammed the door almost immediately, and he didn't blame her. how could he when he'd been the one to leave. because on the other side of that door, her heart was pounding.

she'd been wanting to see him for so long, so badly wanted him back in her life, but what if they made the same mistakes? she couldn't take losing him a second time because she'd already lost most of herself when he drove away the first time.

because she'd watched her future slip through her fingertips and there wasn't anything she knew that would make her catch it.

she knew she was to blame for breaking them up. it was for the best, she told her guilty conscience, but it didn't change the heart-wrenching want to have him back.

she'd spent months in the cocoon she made of their cold bed, ultimately settling on his side to feel closer to him. but what was the point? he hadn't slept in that bed in months, the sheets that reeked of him faded, and even more so when he left her, for at the time she thought, forever.

"love, please," he pleaded against the door, his forehead against the cold metal, "I screwed up, but please, let me fix this, us."

she hesitated. she knew she was the type to let people who hurt her back into her life so easily, as if nothing happened, but she was the one who forced him out. she knew that.

so when the door creaked open, he pushed himself away from the door as fast as lightning. her doe eyes peaking around, staring at his chest before they found their way to his face. he'd changed. he looked tired, unkept. she'd be lying if she said she looked the same as she did months ago because she honestly looked worse than him.

because being apart brought out their worst qualities in themselves that they'd helped the other through, but it resurfaced.

when he'd gotten a good look at her, he realized she definitely wasn't the same girl she was months ago. he'd notice the dark circles under her eyes, half-lidded and puffy, begging for sleep. the oversized hoodie he left her, though surprisingly clean, was well-worn by her. through the baggy cloth, he could tell her physique was slimmer, he felt nauseous.

she couldn't stand the silence between them even when they lived the last months of their relationship filled with it. they were both hurting and they both knew it, but they'd assume the other would be the one to patch it up. that's where they messed up, they seem to do it a lot.

"so why now are you here?" she'd cut through the silence with a butter knife, sawing back and forth as she stumbled where she stood. she struggled to keep her balance, lack of energy will do that to you.

"I realized how much of an idiot I was," he stepped closer, bringing his hand to hers, pressing her fingers between his. he trailed the pads of his fingertips down her hand and to her wrist. he'd latch on, caressing the soft skin, he'd remember the feeling.

"but I was the one who broke you with you."

he didn't mean it like that, to insinuate that she was the idiot for breaking them up because in no way did he blame her. he put the blame all on him for not fighting for them.

" 'nd I was the one who left."

she stared up at him, her big eyes doing things to him, he shouldn't feel it in a moment like this, but he did. he just wanted her back, to feel her lips on his, her smooth skin under his soft but callused hands.

her lips parted when she'd realize the feeling of warmth against her face, his hand running along her jaw to her chin. though she was already looking up at him, he pushed her head up further, but so softly.

his voice was raspy and deep, pleading, "please, darlin'." she couldn't say no even if the voice inside her head and the feeling in her heart told her to.

"just don't leave again."

he could never, not after the misery he'd been through without her, blackout nights to forget everything that had led up to their break up. he couldn't imagine the anguish he put her through.

and at those words, he couldn't hold back anymore, his lips colliding with hers so desperately, like he needed her to survive. he kind of did. he tasted faintly of alcohol and fruit, she tasted like mint. her lips moved softly against his passionate kiss because he was acting like she was his oxygen, his water, his everything because she was.

his hand tangled in her hair, the sounds of their breaths between their lips, the heavy heat that surrounded the air as they separated.

"let's go somewhere," he'd suggest, his chest rising and falling more noticeably now.

her lips became a swollen pink as she looked up at him, dazed as her eyes flickered between his green eyes, "where?"

he shook his head, smiling. god, she missed that smile. he spoke so softly now, "anywhere, you pick. it'll jus' be us."

money didn't matter to him. if she wanted to travel to the moon and back, he'd make it happen because he wanted to make things right. he wanted to show her he was all in now because he would never take another step out ever again.

so they'd travel across the world. he'd rent out hotels, restaurants, amusement parks, anything she'd want. like max said, he wanted this between the two of them. no cameras, no fans, no public. just them enjoying their time together and alone at the most beautiful places she could think of.

she'd end up on an island with him, the only other people being the employees of the resorts he'd rent out. he did everything with her.

they went on yachts around the crystal waters and coral reefs surrounding the beaches that they'd later lay and tan on. they'd talk as they bathed in the sunlight. snorkeling while holding hands and pointing out various species that inhabited the waters.

candle-lit dinners sitting across from each other, though their hands never left each other. they'd been offered fancy wines, lando ultimately opting out. she understood. they tried the exotic foods and other virgin drinks the resort had to offer.

they had long runs along the beach, heavy makeout sessions on stranded towels where they couldn't take their hands off the other, deciding to take the trip back to their hut over the waters.

when they'd make it back, he wasted no time because he missed her, the feeling of her around him, the taste of her.

as soon as the hut door slammed shut, his veined hand would be pressured on her neck, pushing at the skin under his fingertips to pull her into his lips. he was desperate, she knew that.

his lips were harshly against hers, she could feel the vibrations of his groans against her flesh, feeling his working hands across her chest, having left her neck temporarily to undo her tied bikini top. it was discarded onto the wooden floors with no further regard. they'd separate, foreheads pushed together and their noses clashing as their breaths mixed in the middle.

his head dipped below her jaw, biting at the skin of her neck. whimpers left her lips and she felt his smirk on her skin while she grasped at his curls. he slowly pushed their bodies towards the open laid bed behind her, her calf's meeting the mattress. he tugged at the elastic of her beach shorts, though deciding to take his time, which made it all the more agonizing for her, she needed him.

his lips trailed her body, leaving trails of his saliva and marks where he nipped at her skin, from her neck down to her chest. he groped her tits, earning a low groan from her as his tongue swirled her areola. she tugged his hair, his curls between each of her fingers as she bit back the sounds that forced through her throat. he was starved of her, which only turned her on more. she felt the heat between her thighs.

he'd kneel on his knees in front of her as he'd continue to leave a string of dark hickeys down her skin as he'd continue to her stomach, and just above her panty line, pulling the elastic of her shorts down. she'd almost just rip them off because she couldn't take how slow he'd move compared to when they first ended up in this situation.

his finger wrapped around the band, slowly pulling the material over the curves of her body, but he'd left her panties, which infuriated her. he did it all while looking straight up into her eyes, the glint in his eyes filled of lust and mischief. he'd lift her leg with his hand wrapped around the back of her knee, helping her kick off the clothing.

he'd kiss the skin just above the side of her knee, his lips glued to her skin as they traveled higher up her thighs, as well as his hands, sliding under the side of her panties. his nose brushed against the cloth of her cunt, ghostly stimulating her clit. it provoked a reaction out of her as she whined, and he'd continue to kiss along the line of her undergarment.

he may have started off desperate, but now he was taking his sweet time to take care of her. she wanted to badly for him to just hurry it along, wanting to feel him, but he'd rather enjoy the moment he had with her, like it was his last.

he pushed aside the cloth barrier, licking his lips as he eyed the wet patch caused by him, his warm breath panned across her cunt and she pleaded, "lan, please." god, he loved to hear her beg, it was music to his ears, but her moans were a symphony.

his two fingers slowly parted her folds, feeling her pulse under him as she moaned against the contact, he 'tsk'd at her reaction, "so wet for me, darling." his voice was raspy, deep and she cursed under her breath as she watched him lick her off his fingers.

the taste of her brought him back, he'd savor it because he hadn't before, not when he didn't realize it could've been the last. she was sweet, her skin smelling of vanilla as his nose brushed against her.

he'd had enough teasing for now, and gently he'd pull down her panties. she'd be fully exposed, but he was still dressed, his clothes feeling tighter around his body, specifically his swim shorts.

he didn't care. he'd thrown one of her legs over his shoulder as he flattened his tongue across her, feeling the tremble in her standing leg. he'd bury his lips in her cunt, vigorously tasting her like he hadnt eaten in weeks. his tongue lapped at her heat and she let out strings of curses interrupted by moans as she'd tug him closer to her by his hair.

vibrations of his groans stimulated her clit as he softly nipped at the sensitive flesh. he'd lapped at her cunt for not long before it became overwhelming, her moans growing high and squeaked as her legs nearly buckled.

he kept going, looking up at her with massively dilated eyes, half-lidded and seductive. her jaw went slack as she stared into his eyes, she felt the crescendo of her high and she'd nearly scream out his name as she came on his tongue. he'd lick up any remaining juice of hers.

his tongue left one long trail over her cunt, pressuring on her sensitive before pulling away, a trail of saliva connecting to his mouth and her slick glistened on his lips and chins. she panted heavily, he watched the rise and fall of her chest, felt the shaking of her knees as they nearly gave out under her.

he'd smile up at her, his goofy grin greeted her after her hazed high calmed. she'd roll her eyes at his light-heartedness after she'd just came on his tongue.

but it was moments like those that'd bring back the spark of youth and naivety to their relationship. because it was what they'd needed all along. all they needed was each other.

[blessedarethebinarybreakers]

Not sure if this is the right place to ask this but I gotta start somewhere. I've been learning a lot about indigenous history and activism as I work on deconstruction, and a sentiment I come across a lot is bitterness towards Christianity. I cannot emphasize enough how much I fully understand. The rough bit is that sometimes when I read their work, I get the implication that there's nothing worth saving in the Church/Christianity- that to hold on to it is to hold on to all the colonialism and white supremacy and yuck.

As a disabled trans Christian, I get that, but it still hurts. I love God and am a Christian despite everything. I want to be an ally to indigenous people, but I want to follow God this way too. I know those aren't mutually exclusive, but it feels that way sometimes. Do you have any insight for me to find peace in this regard?

Thank you.

Hey there, thanks for the question, sorry for the delay!

This is something I've also wrestled with — a question I ask myself over and over, and probably always will. I cannot offer you peace, because as Jeremiah 6:14 says, "There is no peace!" — not while our faith continues to be wielded as a weapon against so many peoples. What I can offer you are some of the thoughts that have allowed me to continue to be Christian with hope that this faith can be better than what it's long been misused for, and the resolve to do my part to make it so.

First, that Christianity isn't unique in being co-opted by colonialist powers.

Any belief system can be twisted for violence, and many have been. If Christianity didn't exist, white supremacy still would — colonialist powers would have found a different belief system to twist into justifying their evils.

That absolutely does not absolve us from reckoning with the evils that have been done in Christianity's name! This isn't about shutting down critiques of Christianity with "uh well it could have been any religion" — as things played out, Christianity is the religion responsible for so much harm, and we need to acknowledge that and listen to groups who tell us how we can make some form of reparations.

But for me at least, there is some comfort in understanding that Christianity isn't, like, inherently evil or something. Recognizing that it isn't unique even in its flaws helps me look at the problem with clearer eyes, rather than wallowing in guilt and shame, if that makes sense.

Next, that there are Indigenous Christians, and Black Christians, and other Christians of color — that oppressed peoples have found things worth cultivating within Christianity! If they can find something worthwhile in this faith, it would be arrogance for me to deny it.

For instance, even when white slaveholders edited Bibles to remove too much discussion of liberation, even when white preachers emphasized verses about slaves being obedient to their masters, many enslaved people recognized how Christian faith actually affirms their equality and the holiness of their desire for liberation.

Black Theologian Howard Thurman opens his 1949 book Jesus and the Disinherited with a question asked to him by a Hindu man who knew the harms white Christianity had done to both their peoples: “How can you, a black man, be Christian?” The long and short of Thurman’s answer is that, in spite of the pain and exploitation too often inflicted by Christians in positions of power, the oppressed have always been able to see past that misuse of the Christian message to the true message lived out by Jesus Christ: a message of liberation for all.

For more thoughts on why and how to keep being Christian in spite, in spite, in spite...I invite you to look through my #why we stay tag.

___

How I wish that Christianity had never gotten tangled up in Empire! but it did, and it still is, and because for good or ill I cannot help that my spirit is stubbornly drawn towards the Triune understanding of the Divine, the best I can do is to use my privilege and what small influence I have within Christian institutions to move us towards decolonization. What some of that's looked like on the level of my personal beliefs:

I am firmly against any form of proselytizing. I don't support evangelism financially, I speak out against it, I don't platform it. (If someone wants to hear about my faith, they'll come to me — I don't run after them. And if someone does want to have that conversation, I aim to make it a dialogue, where we are learning from each other.)

I continuously work to recognize and uproot Christian supremacy within myself — the beliefs I didn't even realize where there until I started digging. That has included challenging any inkling within myself that Christianity is the "best" or "most right" religion. (One book that's helped a lot with that is Holy Envy by Barbara Brown Taylor.)

I seek wisdom from and relationship with Christians of color. Their insights are vital to our faith, and I try to use what small influence I have to uplift them.

On that last note, here are some resources I recommend as you continue to explore these questions:

This First Nations Version of the Christian Bible is gorgeously written, and a great way to explore scripture through a Native lens.

Native by Kaitlin B. Curtice is a lovely poetic memoir that explores how one person has sought to hold both her Christian faith and Potawatomi identity within herself. (She also has a new book out that I haven't read yet but really want to!)

God is Red: A Native View of Religion by Vine Deloria Jr.

Rescuing the Gospel from the Cowboys by Richard Twiss

I haven't read any of these 4 books but they look good too

This video with advice to non-Indigenous Christians

If anyone has any resources to add, please do!

[strawberrykidneystone]

Shepard-Vakarian Love Nest

garrus vakarian x fem shepard

summary: garrus installs a security system while shepard redecorates

a/n: finished me3 and immediately replayed the whole thing again with slightly different choices,,, i'm obsessed and I need to cope with the heartache of leaving garrus behind to save the universe xoxo space jesus </3

tags: fluff to cope with the ending of me3, flirting, established relationship, shepard instead of y/n, colonist background shepardf if you squint

ao3 version

"garrus this feels a little... overkill."

"that's the point shepard, to overkill anyone who tries to break in."

shepard rolled her eyes playfully and looked around the apartment with her arms crossed. there were sensors on every window and door in the sizable apartment. she managed to talk him down from installing explosives inside, convincing him that it would be way too much paperwork and too much of a risk if she accidentally set them off herself. however, she had to give her boyfriend credit where credit was due, it did make her feel safer. especially since he installed thicker bullet-proof window panes and rolling steel covers for emergencies.

while he was working on making shepard's home safer, she was busy with making andserson's former apartment into her own. she wanted to make it less of a bachelor pad and more of a proper place where she and garrus could hang their hats at the end of the day.

while it was originally supposed to be a getaway just for her, it was too quiet for her taste, and more often than not she has the current and former crew of the normandy over whenever she could.

but for now, it was just the two of them.

she was comparing the current wood of the kitchen cabinets to a new red sample that she picked up. it felt a little silly to be concerned about the colors of the apartment while there were reapers destroying planets, but everyone needed a break now and then. this might be the last shore leave she would ever have. it was somewhat morbid to think about, the last time she had shore leave it was forced on her after she defended elysium despite all odds.

while she was lost in thought, garrus snuck up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder, "hmm i like the red, but a darker burgundy would look better."

shepard hummed and leaned her cheek against his, "i think that would look nice, you have quite the eye vakarian."

"i'm aware. you know i have great taste. especially in partners," he purred into her ear and nipped softly at her neck.

shepard chuckled and turned around in his arms, lacing her hands behind his neck, "that i'll have to agree with you on." she slowly unlaced her fingers and ran her hands down the front of his chest armor, looking up into his gorgeous cobalt eyes, "so, did you find the best vantage point to shoot intruders from?"

garrus chuckled and scratched the back of his neck, suddenly looking very sheepish. if turians could blush, he would be bright red. "there are quite a few adequate spots, however, i'll wait until you're done fully redecorating to make the spots permanent."

"'ppreciate that honey," she smiled and stood on her tip toes, pressing a chaste kiss on his cheek plate.

shepard walked over to her personal computer and ordered the new redwood for the kitchen, along with new paint for the walls. all the white walls were so boring, customizing this place as her own home gave her hope, something that she could look forward to coming back to. having someone with her to share it with made it all the better, giving her hope for the future and something to look forward to once this was all over.

even if he does insist that they need the latest security systems that he personally has to inspect and install, not trusting anyone else to do it right.

of course, she also wanted garrus to add in his own decorations; pictures of his homeworld and family, traditional turian art pieces, etc. shepard was even planning to convert one of the empty bedrooms into a painting studio for him.

maybe one day they would fill it with human-turian babies, or a bunch of krogan, depending one how things went.

a/n: pls let me know if i made any grammatical or spelling mistakes <333

[bonesandpoemsandflowers]

tagged by @bluehairandproverbs!

Rules: answer + tag 9 people you want to get to know better and/or catch up with

favorite color: red

last song: La Mano - Ghetto Kids

currently reading: mad ADHD so I read several books at once but one per category

fiction: Never Whistle at Night: An Indigenous Dark Fiction Anthology, 2023

non-fiction: Crows: Encounters with the Wise Guys of the Avian World, 2015, Candace Savage. not as good imo as Gifts of the Crow, but still a good time. I'm steadily working through all crow commercial nonfiction as part of our ongoing love affair with the babies. really i need to buy a supersoaker to discourage the hawks that are currently spooking the babies. by "spooking" I mean "trying to eat them." I have taken sides in this war. the gods play favorites and so do i.

technically this counts as work probably (writing or occult related): Fate, Fortune, and Mysticism in the Peruvian Amazon: The Septrionic Order and the Naipes Cards, 2011, Marlene Dobkin de Rios, Ph.D. I bought this for the included instructions on reading with la baraja española, but the author is just using the old French cartomancy rules attributed to Mlle Lenormand. But anyway, it's also a fascinating ethnographic peak into a neglected area and a neglected people, and I love that the author runs statistical analysis on the card system itself as well as her predictions. A lot of this will be familiar to anyone who's read cards for money, but it's awesome having math to back up how people misremember shit in your favor. ("You remember when you predicted xyz?" I did not predict xyz. "Yes you did! [client then repeats a completely unrelated thing you said about something else] See! That's what that means!" oh okay. thanks. sure. same time next week?) What is the Septrionic Order? idk I'm not at that part of the book yet.

currently watching: The Decameron

currently craving: those 90% dark chocolate squares that are delicious and I ate two a day for for like ten years straight but it turns out they're full of lead and cadmium

coffee or tea: coffee

tagging: jesus fucking christ NINE? i don't know nine people one of you tagged me in a nice one of these a while back and I meant to do it but I put it in my drafts and it is LOST FOREVER and I don't remember which one of you it was but please know I think of you fondly in the abstract and will think of you fondly specifically if you identity yourself.

otherwise, the usual suspects: @muffinbitch and @nanavn. plus @oldladynerd

@hueylewisandtheblues

@dixiedeadshake

@old-testament-bitch

@consideramove

@atomic0range

and you know, whoever. I'm trying to be more social on here. I don't remember anyone's name. I can spell maybe two of your handles off the top of my head and that's IT. I've known @nanavn for YEARS AND YEARS and it took me like five tries or rearranging the letters n and v and a before I got it.

[08melancholie]

Honeysuckle and Whiskey. — Micah Bell/OC

CHAPTER 3 — MR. VAN DER LINDE.

words: 2,960 | AO3 LINK — MASTERLIST

(Chapter 1 "Colter and Gang Rivalry." or Masterlist for tags and summary.)

warnings: torture by burning (theres a cw before the scene)

She was at the camp for three days now; injured, hungry, dehydrated and exhausted. Every night, Melody just watched the stars or the dancing fire at their campfire, unable to calm herself for any shuteye. On the second day, when everyone fell asleep, she let herself quietly sob away some of the worry and fear bottled up inside her, making sure nobody saw or heard it. She wanted to look unbothered and unamused by their intimidation, and she tried very hard to get that.

"It'll get infected, Dutch..." Arthur's voice quietly snapped her out of her thought, and Melody quietly listened in. "You'll have a better chance of her talkin' if she's alive." He adds. "Let me do it if you ain't wanna."

Dutch quietly whispered to him before Arthur walked out and approached, kneeling before the woman. "Lift your leg on my thigh." He commanded, and Melody winced as she moved it up to his thigh, still wary and reluctant about doing any of it; why should she trust them? He took some alcohol and a rag out of his satchel, applying it before slowly tapping around her wound. Melody definitely tried looking unphased, but quiet winces and gasps escaped her lips. He noticed this, starting to work more gently at that. "Relax."

Melody's hands gripped the grass underneath as he gently peeled her bloody jeans off of her wound and up to her knee, to get a better look at it. "Dutch is.." He started, but quickly stopped himself and just continued cleaning up Melody's leg in silence. At the sound of his name, Dutch walked out and leaned on his tent wall with his usual preferred breakfast; a cigar. Bastard.

Finally, the burning stopped as she got used to the feeling, and Dutch watched the rest of the process. Arthur put the rag away soon, wrapping gauze around the wound tightly. Melody let her chest quickly rise and fall as the process was over, before calming it. He leaned around and looked at her bloody wrists. "Jesus.." Arthur got up and walked to the back of the tree, pouring droplets of alcohol over Melody's cuts-a little hidden by the rope—as she winced and cursed under her breath. He got up after trying his best to patch up her wrists while still bound.

"It's your choice, y'know." He turned around as he was walking away, talking to Melody one last time. "How this ends for you, I mean." He nodded at her silence with a sigh, ready to walk off with a 'I tried' expression at Dutch.

"Mm.." Melody hummed reluctantly, getting his attention before opening her mouth. "Thank you.. Arthur." She said almost silently, looking him in the eyes as he turned back around. "You're welcome, sweetheart." He quietly replied and dipped his hat at Melody, walking off and passing by Dutch with a smug grin. Dutch scoffed and turned his gaze back to Melody, glaring harshly as he smoked his cigar.

Another night approached, and the members drank and sang at the fire again, these late-night parties extremely popular now. Melody kept wondering why Dutch wasn't with his gang when they met up like this; he was a strange man, one she couldn't read despite how much she'd known of him from Colm. He just sat in his tent with a light on as his members had fun. Well; fun might even be an understatement for these people, seeing what they do when a little liquor gets into their system.

As it reached around midnight, maybe 1 AM, everyone scattered to their tents. Dutch's light usually goes out by this time—when everyone leaves and it gets quiet in camp—but it stayed on as his silhouette slowly paced around the tent, with what seemed to be a book. An outlaw that busies himself in books instead of sleeping; quite interesting.

It was another one-of-those nights where Melody felt she needed a quiet sob to stay strong throughout the day, but didn't want to risk it with Dutch's light still on, and with him still awake. Her chest quickly rose and dropped, and she could barely hold back breaking out in a quiet sob. She exhaled sharply as she quietly let a few tears roll down. His pacing slows until he's walking, soon after closing the book and putting it away. Melody watches through blurry eyes, somewhat interested.

He walked to the entrance of his tent, and she brushed her face on her shoulders quickly, drying it. He walked out quietly, and his gaze immediately flicked to the woman as she forced her eyes up to the sky. Melody could see him turn his whole body to face her, watching once more. Creep.

Suddenly, he started approaching and Melody felt her chest nervously rise. He stepped into view until his dark figure covered the stars above. "You're blocking my view." She muttered, almost immediately mentally cursing at herself after. Being cocky when he can simply put a bullet between her eyes, a very idiotic tactic, but she let it slip—she's only human.

"Hmm.." He just hummed, watching down at me. "So, the first words you've spoken to me since you entered my camp are complaints, you've really got some nerve, girl." He scolds, a hint of amusement in his voice.

She exhaled sharply, almost like a sigh. "I.. apologise," She muttered even quieter. "But, I can't help wondering why you've not killed me, Mr. Van der Linde." She questions him quickly—surprised by her own formality and sudden urge to talk. Might be the desperation to get out of these bounds quicker, the little hope she had of it actually happening.

He watched her whole frame pressed against the tree, visibly taken aback by how talkative she was being as well. "You're information, girl. And until you talk," He kneels down before her, face inching closer in an intimidating manner—an attempted one, at best. "we'll keep you tied to this tree, starving." He leaned a hand over her head and onto the tree. The fierce look in his eyes which reflected the surroundings was almost hypnotising, and Melody felt just mildly frightened by it.

"And.. what information do you seek, even?" She asked, looking him in the eyes intently.

He hums in amusement. "You'll see, when you comply. I trust it isn't soon; all that will leave those O'Driscoll lips of yours now will be lies." He suddenly gets up, hand leaving the tree and walking off to his tent quietly. And well, she's unable to answer his claim—because she was going to try and lie her way out of here.

It leaves her in anticipation; his words last night did a number on her, like he'd expected them to, unable to sleep again as she watched the night sky turn bright, the morning rising before her. Is she ready to truly rat out her gang to him, a man they and she hold so much pure hatred for? To be fair, they betrayed her first. It's like.. payback? Everything feels weird; being here, tied up and forced to rat out what was partially her only family since she was young.

She watches as a few members get up out of their tents, pouring mugs of coffee. Melody's throat dries up even more than it already has in the past few days, knowing they left her without anything to drink, torturing her by having her watch them with warm, blissful cups in their hands at the unlit campfire.

She could barely handle the sounds her stomach would make whenever someone started eating, either. It was killing her from the inside out. Every time she glanced at Dutch while he was in her point of view, the previous night repeated in her mind like a broken record. She'll just have to endure this until—hopefully—Colm comes to get her. Surely, it'll be soon.

Melody leans her head on the tree behind herself in exhaustion. How much longer? She doesn't even trust they'll let her go after squeezing all the needed information out of her.

She slowly closes her eyes and opens them, as they've started burning from no sleep and the afternoon sun picking at them. Almost every camp member has lost interest—the small exceptions being Dutch and Arthur, both with very different motives. And, as if right on cue, Dutch walks out with that damn cigar, looking. She almost acts on the urge to cockily greet him with a nod as if they were friends, but chose to keep her head for now.

"She's been holding out pretty good, Dutch.." The faint voice of Arthur can be heard, followed by Dutch's low chuckle. He whispers something back, and Arthur nods before leaving Melody's view. "She'll talk soon enough, won't she?" He calls out to her, seemingly amused by this little situation of Melody's.

She glares at him through half-lidded eyes. Soon, another man she doesn't recognize walks by, whistling like at a dog towards Melody which infuriates her to her core. "Too bad you's an O'Driscoll girl, you's a real keeper, eh Dutch?" He cackles, and Dutch quietly nods as the man leaves. She almost lets her eyes roll into the back of her head in annoyance, but her chest does start rising and falling a bit quicker in anger. She knew they were all dogs, anyway.

"Little Sean anger you?" He starts walking up to Melody, who keeps her lips sealed; not in the mood after that. He notices her quietness, looking down at the woman as she's waist level to him from the floor. Those fierce brown eyes keep looking into her own ones, she's carelessly returning the glare in an almost challenging way. That is, until he lands a good, strong kick right to her injured leg, and she can't stop a yelp escaping her lips, the hit he lands on her stinging and pulsing, lasting an excruciatingly long time for her. Melody was sure her exclaim of pain could be heard all around camp.

"That'll happen every time you try to ignore me, smartass. Except next time," He leans down until his face is inches away, noses barely not touching. "it'll be a kick in your ribs, and I'll make sure to break every single one, O'Driscoll scum.." He almost growls in a way, flicking his used cigar while standing up and still looking down at her. She lets a little tear slip from the excruciating pain when he turns with a proud, low hum. Bastard. She can't be too mad, as it was her own fault for acting like this, but still.

Another two days pass after that incident where he ignores Melody, along with everyone except for occasional glances from Arthur. They're neutral; he's not mad, not upset, not happy. Just.. neutral. Which Melody'll take as a good thing. Hopefully.

During those two days, her routine continued; she watched people during the day, and the stars at night. Her luck seems to have not run out just yet, as the situation slowly got more bearable when she stopped feeling hunger after a few days passed. Her body would respond to the smell of the fresh stew as it passed by when someone got themselves a portion, but she didn't feel mentally hungry anymore—which was nice.

It seems as though Dutch missed her silence after being parted with her for two days, because he continued his routine of watching Melody as he smoked his cigars. She just stared back with a monotone expression, seemingly unphased by his sudden, lessened attention to her. Though, his expression was just as neutral. He just stood there, body turned to her, smoking.

She soon lost interest, looking away before he addressed her directly. "No, no. Look at me, girl." Melody cocked her head back at him and away from the campfire conversation which interested her a whole lot more. "How obedient, good..." She definitely saw the little amused smirk he threw her, the asshole. "Good to know you can listen." The bastard loved the control. Anyone could see so.

And so, she watched until he finished his cigar, expecting something out of him since he wanted her attention on him so badly, but no. He finished the cigar, threw it away and walked into his tent. And Melody didn't understand at all why. He was such a strange man.

She was surprising herself with her own endurance; it's now been a full two weeks. Her only help was a quick late night drink of water from the lady on her first day every now and then, whose name she learned is Mary-Beth. She always thanked her lowly, almost wishing she could show Dutch he's the only person Melody has no interest interacting with.

"How is she not dyin' of dehydration?" She heard low whispers to her left, people at the campfire. Instantly, her eyes shot to poor Mary-Beth; who looked so guilty. She nodded slightly to her reassuringly, and Mary-Beth managed a faint smile back. She was a nice girl, Melody was sure of that.

"You tryna' make friends with 'em? They all want to see you decay on this tree, miss." Arthur's voice approached from her right, some sarcasm embedded into his chosen tone. He was smoking a cigarette quietly and probably noticed Melody interacting with someone across the camp. She shrugged at him with no response at first—still very untrustworthy of everyone—until she saw Dutch watching, and got too cocky for her own good.

"I guess so." She beckoned him to lean closer so that she could whisper something to him. "That Mary-Beth y'all got is a real nice girl, protect her." He nodded in agreement to her words, taking a drag of the cigarette nestled between his fingers. Melody threw occasional glances at Dutch; a vein formed on his forehead in anger. He was obviously mad Melody could talk freely to Arthur, but never to him. It amused her more than it should have. Stupid, cocky girl.

"So you can talk, eh?" Arthur chuckled, noticing her gaze turn from him to the space behind him. He turned—finding a very pissed Dutch observing them—and immediately connected the dots. "You still haven't talked to him? Oh you're playin' with fire here. Your funeral." He chuckles before walking away to the campfire, leaving Melody with a Dutch whose gaze burns right through her form.

She could see how much he wanted to walk over and beat her senseless. It wasn't hard to catch. Hell, she'd even say she can see the same look in his eyes as Colm's before he'd land a hit on her. She just watched him with no expression again, waiting for something from him. The back-and-forth wasn't a good idea, for her.

CW: Torture methods. (Burning)

Luckily, he didn't react and left it alone as night approached. Melody did what she usually does, watching the sky or anything that'll keep her sane while tied to this damn tree.

"So you'll talk to Arthur," he walks out of his tent with another cigar. Where is his infinite stash, Melody oh-so-wonders. "but won't give me even an ounce of your attention, you brat?" His voice is stern and gravelly, he has a lantern in his other hand as he smokes until he's reached the woman, one knee falling to the ground with himself. "I'll make you talk. I'll break you one day." Melody just watched, albeit a bit surprised.

And so, she stays as silent as ever. "Someone's gonna have to teach you manners, girl." He takes another long drag before unbuttoning the first two buttons of Melody's shirt, and exposing her neck on her right side. She felt her breathing stop in an instant. "Are you gonna talk? Or are you gonna make me go to lengths I rather wouldn't?" He asked, but Melody stayed quiet—stupidly enough. "Fine."

She'd never smelled the disgusting, foul smell of burning flesh before. It smelled like rotten meat, is how she'd describe it if Melody was asked. As soon as that cigar made contact with the sensitive skin on her neck, Melody turned her head and cried out into her shoulder, biting the shirt and skin there to stay quiet. "No. Look at me." He grabbed her chin roughly, cigarette still pressed into her neck as she sobbed from the pain, tears falling into his hand while he listened to her cries and yelps, voice getting breathy and uneven as she squirmed.

He soon took it away and she coughed up more sobs, gagging from the smell alone. She couldn't even look at him, that was until Melody heard him relighting the cigar, when her gaze flicked to him. "Do we have to try again, girl?" He looked down at Melody. She coughed up one last sob before rubbing her dampened eyes and cheeks on her shoulder, looking up at him with even more foolish determination. It's like she had a death wish, seriously. "Oh, you poor stubborn thing. It won't work on me." He kneels, grabbing her face roughly again as he lowers the cigar just millimetres away from the skin on her neck, this time closer to the collarbone. But she continues watching him, eyes watering ever so slightly as it nears her bare flesh again. The heat of the fire so close to her skin can be felt instantly, and she sucks in a breath to brace herself. But, as it nears, he just stands and backs up as he throws the cigar to the ground, stomping it out. With that, he walks away, leaving Melody a crying mess for the rest of the night, sobbing or gagging from the smell.

Kudos on AO3 very appreciated!! You may have noticed that Micah hasn't yet been mentioned, but I promise he'll be here in a chapter or so!

[gaysindistress]

When Night Comes - Nine

Summary: Who would win in a staring contest? New York’s resident mob boss and master of the side eye Bucky Barnes or the daycare teacher who really wants to go home and smoke?

pairing: Mob!Bucky Barnes x reader

warnings: mob!Bucky, cursing, major character death (but I think some of you have been waiting for this), weapons, blood, 

word count: 2.7k

eight | masterlist

Tag list: @vickie5446 @cakesandtom  @buckybarnessimpp @hidden-treasures21​ @unaxv​ @mal-adaptive-dreams @elizacusi-blog​ @vonalyn @thebuckybarnesvault

disclaimer: credits to original creator/poster of image/gif. found on Google/Pinterest

Jessica had sent Sunny a rather vague text stating that she would be over and they needed to talk. Calling her and blowing up her phone with texts did nothing to ease the anxiety in Sunny considering that Jessica never responded. It had been weeks of constant anxiety and worry no thanks to Bucky appearing in her life and finding out that Alix is in New York. Everything that she had worked for was about to come crashing down around her and at this point, she’s not even sure she’d survive it this time. New York was the only place she would think of that would be far enough away and big enough for Alix to not be able to find her, aside from moving abroad. But with what little money she had, Sunny had no way of getting any fake documents and there was no way she would risk Alix tracking her if she used her real ones. 

So here she is in New York after five years of hiding, awaiting the return of her devilish ex with no way out and no reassurance that she would make it to the other side of this. The appearance of Bucky and Yelena did little to ease her wrecked nervous system. Sure they may be able to protect her for a little from Alix but Sunny was bed hopping at this point; jumping from a Lycan bed to a Strigoi bed. On the bright side, it seemed like whatever business the Strigoi were involved in, it was either less illegal than Alix’s or they hid it better. So far she had heard of any police raids or anything that would suggest that Bucky and his people were being looked at by the police. Either way, monsters are still monsters, meaning that associating with any of them meant bad news for humans. 

In her usual fashion, Jessica walks right into Sunny’s apartment and loudly announces that she’s arrived and needs coffee. From her bedroom, Sunny all but rolls out of bed and barely greets her friend in the kitchen who is making herself right at home with the coffee pot. 

“Your text made it sound like you needed to talk to me about something serious.”

Jessica throws her a smile over her shoulder and continues with the task at hand, “I mean it’s not that serious but I like to be mysterious. Keeps you on your toes.”

“No it’s just fucking rude.”

“Rude to you but fun for me.”

Sunny rolls her eyes and plops down on the couch, wrapping herself in the blanket from the night before. The kiss and the hurt in Yelena’s eyes flash before her and she throws it, earning a look from jessica. She grabs another one and stares blankly at the offending piece of fabric on the floor. Jessica drops a cup on the coffee table for Sunny and sits in the same spot Bucky sat the night before. 

“Are you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” “M fine,” Sunny mumbles, still fixated on the blanket, “What did you want to talk to me about?”

“Wow just diving right in, okay,” Jessica says, placing her cup next to Sunny’s untouched one, “I don’t really know how to say this.”

Sunny rips her eyes away to narrow her eyes at Jessica, “Just say it.”

The other woman starts fiddling with her nails, pulling the top of her finger from the acrylic as she searches for the right words. 

“Jesus just come out with it.”

“Sunny this isn’t something I can just come out and say.” “Yes it is.” “No you don’t understand,” Jessica looks at her dead on and lets her eyes flash gold as a light start. Sunny takes in a sharp breath and tosses the blanket as she scrambles to get off of the couch. Anger, hurt, embarrassment, and betrayal race through her as she processes what she just witnessed. 

“I’m not going to hurt you, I promise. I’m still your best friend, nothing has changed that,” Jessica states in a calm voice, staying seated so as to not spook her, “Please come sit down.”

“You are not my best friend. You’re a fucking Lycan and you never told me,” Sunny breaths angrily, “Get. The. Fuck. Out.”

“Y/N sit down. Now.”

Sunny goes completely still, her body refusing to move while her brain screams at her to run or at the very least, don’t stand still. 

“I don’t have a lot of time and there’s a lot we need to talk about.”

“Then talk and start with how you know my name.”

Jessica clenches her jaw but answers anyways, “We knew each other in Fresno.”

“No we didn’t.”

“Yes we did, I just had blonde hair and everyone called me Amy,” she argues, grabbing her phone to show her a picture of them together with Alix in the middle. “I swear to god Jessica, Amy or whatever the fuck your name is, if you don’t get out right now, I will call the police.”

“They can’t do anything.”

Sunny starts to back up slowly however Jessica snorts at her poor attempt at running away. 

“Alix is my pack leader and she sent me to keep tabs on you but I’m here to warn you. She’s planning on wiping out the entire New York Strigoi leadership and taking you back. You need to leave right now before she can get any closer.”

“Does she know where I am?” “She’s always known. She just likes to play with her food beforehand. ”

“So you’re telling me that she’s known where I’ve been this entire time,” Sunny drags a hand down her face at the realization that her safety has been fake this whole time and she’s never actually been free.

“Where do you expect me to go? It’s not like I can hop on my private jet and leave.”

Jessica shrugs, “I can’t help you with that. If I know where you might be at, Alix will be able to use that. I suggest that you find some place that she would never think of.”

“That’s really helpful, thank you for your wonderful advice,” Sunny scoffs while she fully backs into the kitchen. Her knives are within reach but they’re useless against a Lycan’s strength. Still she snatches one and holds it between her and Jessica. 

“Put that down and go pack. Alix has a tracker on my phone so she’ll know that I was here and will hunt me down first.”

“As if I believe you.”

Jessica’s phone rings as if on cue and she answers it, putting on a fake smile and voice when she greets Alix on the other line. 

“Hey girly what’s up?”

“Nope just hanging with my bestie.”

“She’s good.”

“No problem. I’ll be home in an hour. See ya then,” she hangs up and makes eye contact with Sunny, “Alix is on her way here. You need to get out of here like right now.”

Sunny turns and sprints to her room, slamming the door behind her and locking it with shaky hands. Like it did nights before, her chest starts to grow tighter as her breathing becomes shallower. Her hands shake as she tries to pull her thoughts together but to no avail. Without a second thought, she starts to throw random clothes into a backpack. Anything that she sees, she grabs and quickly pulls on a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt. She hears Jessica moving around in the front room as she slips her shoes on. A knock at her front door scares her and she drops her phone on the ground, shattering the screen as it hits the wood. 

The sound of boots dropping down has her whipping her head towards her window to see Bucky crawling into her room. He holds a finger to his lip as Yelena and Steve climb in behind him. They all have guns drawn and held out in front of them. Bucky waves a hand for her to come closer but she stays put. 

“Come here,” he whispers as Yelena and Steve flank either side of her bedroom door, whispering amongst themselves. 

“Don’t look back and keep your head down,” he whispers when he approaches her, his hand gently grabbing her by her bicep, “Stay next to me and duck when I tell you, do you understand?”

“What the fuck is going on?” Sunny whispers back, trying to rip her arm away from him but his grip tightens. 

“I’ll tell you later but we need to go now.”

“No.”

“No? Let me walk you through a hypothetical. Can I walk you through a hypothetical?”

“Stop arguing like an old married couple and go,” Steve hisses at them. Bucky grumbles something under his breath and pulls her towards the window while she weakly struggles against his grip. Alix’s voice booms through the small apartment, rattling the walls in Sunny’s mind. 

“I know you’re here, Y/N, and I know you have those fucking blood suckers with you.”

“Come on draga,” he says while pushing her out of the window with a hand on her head to help her duck and other with the gun pointed behind them. There’s more pounding on the door while Steve and Yelena back up to cover them better as they slip out of the window and down the fire escape. 

Bucky takes her backpack from her and goes down before her as Sunny climbs after him. The fear of Alix is worse than blindly following Bucky. 

The door splinters as Alix breaks it down and Steve warns her to stay put before he empties his clip into her. She laughs maniacally and questions if he would really shoot his kid’s daycare teacher just to get to her. Without being able to see what’s going on, Sunny can only assume that she’s holding Jessica in front of her as a shield. She tries to stop and climb back up but Yelena and Bucky both push her to keep going down. Neither allows her to get very far as Steve tries to negotiate with the madwoman of a Lycan. 

“She’s going to kill Jess,”  she hisses at Yelena. 

“And Jess was helping her get you and kill us so keep moving,” Bucky pipes up from behind her. 

“Jess is still my friend, you dick.”

“No she’s not,” he says lowly, his voice dropping an octave. 

She turns her attention to Yelena, “You’re friends with her.”

“I wouldn’t call us that…”

Her sentence is cut off by the sound of shots firing and a heavy thud. Alix’s angry growl rips through the air around them and Steve shouts down to them to get a fucking move on it. More shots ring out that are followed by more pissed off shouts from Alix. Sunny isn’t able to comprehend what the thud is because Bucky wraps his arm around her waist and tugs her off the ladder. He doesn’t let her go as he helps Yelena and Steve down, his arm still wrapped tightly around her waist. 

The four of them take off towards the street and they clamor into Bucky’s mercedes. Sunny is shoved into the backseat and she makes eye contact with a bloody Alix as she drops to the ground. Not a thing has changed about the Lycan in the five years that it’s been since they last saw each other. She’s even still wearing her signature black and white braids albeit some are stained red from what she assumes is Jessica’s blood. She clasps a hand over her mouth as the dry tears burn her eyes. Alix gives her a deadly smirk as they speed away from the curb as if to say ‘this isn’t over’.

Yelena grabs her free hand and tries to coax her to look at her, “Hey look at me.”

Sunny drops her head into her hands after she pulls her hand back and silent sobs take over her. Bucky looks over his shoulder at Yelena and then to Sunny. Yelena and him share a concerned look as Steve nervously checks the mirrors, praying that Alix isn’t following them. 

“I don’t think anywhere in the city is going to be safe, Buck,” he tells their boss. 

Bucky lets out a deep sigh, “I don’t think this country is going to be safe.”

“Bucharest?”

Bucky nods in agreement, “I’ll call Peggy and let her know. Yelena get the plane ready.”

“You’re not taking me out of the country,” Sunny says, struggling to keep a stable voice. 

“Do you want to be safe?” Bucky remarks. 

“You’re not taking me out of the country,” she repeats. 

Bucky repeats his own question but when he doesn’t get an answer back, he nods to Steve that they will be going to Romania regardless of what Sunny says. 

The car fills with a thick tension as Sunny zones out on the passing landscape outside of the window. Within a matter of minutes, everything came crashing down around her and her only chance at survival might be her end after all. 

Alix smirks as she makes eye contact with Y/N through the car window. When the car speeds away, she turns and climbs back up the ladder, wincing at the pain blooming in her shoulder. Pushing through, she barely pulls herself into the landing in front of Y/N’s window and takes a shaky breath. The blood loss is starting to blur her vision but she has shit to do. Blood smears on the window seal where she grips it for stability and she drops into the apartment. Sirens blare in the distance as the cops that neighbors called race towards her. 

Jessica gasps for air as the blood pools around her. She tries to reach for Alix, asking for help but she kicks the hand aside and steps over her body. She half turns to her and spits on her like she’s the biggest disgrace to ever grace this planet. Continuing her slow walk, she shuts the bedroom door and leaves Jessica just as she said she would if she betrayed her.

Alix grabs a towel and wraps it around the wound in her shoulder and gingerly pulls a sweatshirt she found in the living room on. The smell tells her that it’s Y/N’s and the familiarity of it calms her nerves but they begin to unravel again as she remembers that she chose the Strigoi over her. For the sake of time, she doesn’t take it off and leaves the apartment, pulling the hood up so no one can get a decent look at her face. Thankfully no one has really come out to see what happened and she’s able to slip out without being noticed or questioned. 

A small black car is waiting for her when she exits the building and she quickly climbs in. Juliette goes to question her about the smell of blood however she can sense the rage just beneath the surface of Alix’s skin. She keeps her mouth shut and her question to herself as she hides them in the flow of traffic. Alix drops her head back and lets her eyes shut as she tries to slow her breathing and hopefully slow the rush of blood coming from her shoulder. 

“Jessica is dead,” is the first thing that she says. 

Juliette hums along with the sound of her blinker. 

“They took Y/N but I don’t know where they’re going. Has that Strigoi bitch said anything?”

“Uh,” Juliette pauses as she glances at the car’s screen, “She said they’re going to Romania but that’s all she knows.”

“Fuck,” she hisses and grips her shoulder hard, “Figure out how to get us there and tell her to not let Y/N out of her sight.”

[mermaidgirl30]

Wip Wednesday!

I did not see anyone post one today, so I will start one. I want to know what everyone is working on! I’ve been switching between a few different WIPs this week, but here are a couple I’ve been working on today.

“I don’t know, Jenna. I don’t really…”

“You don’t really what? Date? Well, you should! Come on, do it for Jonas,” she begs, puppy eyes simmering through his skull.

“Jonas ain’t the one houndin’ me about this, you are. You beg your boyfriend this much for things? Jesus Christ,” he mutters while he pinches the bridge of his nose again.

“Well, sometimes,” she giggles, “but this is about you!”

“Jenna, I’ve got a business to run. I’ve got payin’ customers waitin’ for me to call them back. I can’t jus’ take one of your friends out on a dive for free jus’ ‘cause you want me to,” he hisses.

“I promise you I’m not asking for no reason. This would mean the absolute world to her. And hello, she’s single and hot, and you need to get laid! You’re rotting away on that boat, Miller. Pretty soon you’re gonna shrivel up and…”

“Jenna,” he warns with the tick of his jaw.

“Joel Miller, please! Come onnnn, just take her out once. Promise it’ll be worth your while. Please, please, pleaseeeeee,” she whines.

“Alright, alright!” He holds a hand out to stop her from running her mouth anymore and sighs, carding his fingers through his slicked back tousled curls as another groan escapes him. “This Sunday. Have her here at my boat by 9:00 in the morning, no later than that.”

“Yes! Thank you, Joel! You’re the best!” She throws her arms around his neck and gives him a big squeeze until he pushes her off annoyed, readjusting his button-up Hawaiian shirt by the red collar.

“She doesn’t even know you’re tryin’ to set her up, does she?” he huffs.

“Nope!” she giggles.

“Goddamn it, Jenna,” he groans. “You owe me big time.” He points an accusing finger at her, and she just gives him a big toothy grin in return.

“Yeah, yeah. Just wait till you meet her. I won’t owe you a damn thing after that!”

“I’m not fuckin’ playin’ around, little girl. Tell me where my daughter is or so help me.” He clenches his jaw, a repressed growl held in the back of his throat.

“Little girl, huh? You think a twenty-three year old is a little girl?” You scoff, pursing your lips, annoyed.

“Shut up, will ya? Christ. Jus’ tell me where the fuck my daughter is,” he growls, pinning his broad chest against yours.

You smirk his way, challenging him with an ounce of liquid courage in your system. “Make me.”

He digs into the sides of your hips with his thick fingers, making you gasp at the nervous butterflies that flit through your stomach. He gnashes his teeth together, dark eyes blowing wide as he ghosts dangerously close to your lips. “Better be careful there, sweetheart. You’re walkin’ on mighty thin ice,” he warns with the flash of black eyes.

No pressure tags and anyone else who wants to 🥰 @alltheirdamn @mountainsandmayhem @yxtkiwiyxt @magpiepills @sawymredfox @burntheedges @morallyinept @joelsgreys @milla-frenchy @604to647 @aurorawritestoescape @joelmillerisapunk

[practically-an-x-man]

Pit of Vipers (Nikoletta x Abner)

Summary: While in Belle Reve, Nikoletta realizes that a fight broke out the night before - and Abner didn't even try to fight back

Tags: pre-relationship, angst, violence, depictions of injuries, brief references to suicide

Word Count: 3.1k

____

“Adrian.”

She appeared out of the shadows and slid onto the bench beside him, and Adrian just about jumped out of his skin. 

“Jesus Christ- don’t do that!” he blurted, glaring at her from behind his glasses, “Do you know how close I get to punching you in the face when you do that? It’s a reflex.”

“But you never have.” Nikoletta pointed out, giving him a slanted grin.

“Yeah, ‘cause I stop myself every time. Those aren’t exactly the knuckle tattoos I’d want,” Adrian said, wringing his hands together as he imagined it. Nikoletta scoffed. He talked a lot of big game, she thought, but she’d only ever seen him fight when it was premeditated. He didn’t strike a single blow without considering it first. It was part of why she chose him as a confidant. He wasn’t reckless like the others were. 

“So… what sends you popping up over my shoulder like my sleep paralysis demon this time?” he asked, seemingly recovered from his bout of shock, and shot her a broad grin. Someone else probably would have found it charming. Nikoletta just pressed her lips together. 

“Someone’s missing.” she said, dark eyes scanning the cafeteria around her, “One of the newbies.”

“Hm. Yeah. The skinny one, right? With the-” Adrian guessed, gesturing vaguely at his own neck, “The one who always looks like he’s sad he can’t hang himself from the bars of his cell like the guy in Goonies?”

“He doesn’t-” Nikoletta started, but cut herself off with a huff, “The guy from Goonies didn't actually hang himself. But… right. Him.”

“Oh, yeah, he’s in medical,” Adrian pressed on, his voice just as light and conversational as it had been in the moments before, “Couple’a guys jumped him late last night. Didn’t see who, but they got some good hits in before the guards got there. Looked pretty bad.”

“Bastards.” Nikoletta growled, “They know the rules. He wasn’t marked.”

“Maybe they thought nobody would care.” he guessed, casually picking through his French fries without a care in the world. Sometimes he scared her. “I mean, the guy doesn’t even talk, why’s he even worth protecting?”

“It’s not about being worth protecting,” she said, “Why do you pay your insurance premium if you never get sick?”

“Ah, I never had insurance. Even the cheap ones denied me. I get in too many fights.”

“But you know how insurance works, don’t you?”

“Sort of.” Adrian said with a one-sided shrug. Nikoletta rolled her eyes. 

“Good enough.” she decided, “What I’m saying is… whether he’s ‘worth it’ or not, everyone gets my protection, whether they need it or not, unless they decide to stir up trouble. And he hasn’t stirred up any trouble. They shouldn’t have gone after him.”

This was far from the first time something like this had happened. Even with her system in place, there was no way to control every stroke of violence in Belle Reve. People got… pent-up after a while. Marking the unruly prisoners kept things peaceful in more ways than one - removing some violence from the pool entirely, and giving the others a chance to release their frustrations - but it wasn’t a perfect solution. She doubted there was any perfect solution to be found. 

And it was always the quiet ones who seemed to slip through the cracks.

“I need to find out who did this,” Nikoletta said, standing up from her seat in one decisive motion. Adrian twisted around to look at her, giving her a strange look.

“Y’know, if it were up to me, I’d just mark him now. Just to get it over with. His blood’s already in the water. I’d be willing to bet someone’s gonna rip him apart eventually. Might be better just to let it happen, save yourself a bigger fight. I mean… you’ve seen him, Nikki, the guy’s a walking target.”

This was the side of him that Nikoletta had to keep on a very short leash. Underneath his lighthearted and even charming exterior was the same thirst for violence as anyone else in Belle Reve, and she knew that. And as much as she liked having Adrian as her right hand man, she had to be careful about that ruthless streak of his. She had the sense that if it was a matter of his safety, even his escape from Belle Reve, he’d would break anybody’s neck without hesitation. Even hers. He was only loyal to her because she set her terms clearly and followed them.

In a way, that was more comforting. Loyalty based on emotion always felt… shaky. At least here, she didn't have to worry about some social faux pas meaning the difference between ally or enemy. She didn't need an emotional bond with Adrian. Really, she wasn't sure he formed emotional bonds with anyone. But as long as she kept her rules transparent, consistent, she could trust that he had her back.

Even when his ruthless side showed its face.

“No.” she replied with a shake of her head, “He hasn't done anything to deserve being marked.”

“C’mon, Nikki. I know you like him, but-”

“It’s not a matter of liking him. It's a matter of principle.” she huffed, “If I mark him without warning, people are going to start to wonder if they’re next. That’s just the fast track to me losing what little control I’ve managed to scrape together in here- and if I go down, you’re coming with me. And it’s a Band-Aid over a bullet wound. The ones who attacked him are just going to find another target if he’s gone. It doesn’t solve anything.”

She took a step back, comforted by the brush of shadows against her skin. There she paused, just for a moment, and met Adrian’s eyes. 

“And I don’t like him. He’s just another prisoner.”

“I dunno, you didn’t get this mad about the last guy who got beat up.”

“You were the last guy who got beat up.”

“That’s what I’m saying!”

Nikoletta rolled her eyes and fell into the shadows. 

She reemerged from a pool of darkness in the corner of the medbay, suddenly enough that a nurse in the hall flinched at the sight of her. Most of the staff had grown used to Nikoletta’s habit of slipping between rooms, but that didn’t make it any less startling to see her suddenly appear in a once-empty room like some kind of apparition.

It didn’t take long for her to find Abner. He was in the bay closest to the wall, far away from anyone or anything else. Ever since he’d arrived, she’d gotten the sense that the staff was a little afraid of him. She didn’t understand it - aside from the power dampener, he was about the most unassuming guy she could have imagined in a place like this. She doubted he even tried to shoo away the rats that sometimes scurried through the halls.

But the staff were afraid of her too. She didn’t usually give it a lot of stock. 

Abner’s eyes were closed, but the faintly pained expression on his face told her he wasn’t asleep. She didn’t blame him. Half his face was swollen in a brutal black eye, and the rest of his skin was equally littered with bruises and dried blood. Nikoletta wondered, briefly, if he’d even fought back. From the nature of the wounds, harsh and dark and from every direction, she guessed that he hadn’t. The power dampener had been removed from his neck, showcasing a dark band of bruising around his throat - like he’d been shoved to the ground and landed hard on the dampener. Nikoletta couldn’t help but wince at the sight. Some of the bruises were almost dark enough to look like her shadows, save for the faintest purple-red tint.

“Who attacked you?”

She must have been moving more quietly than she realized. Abner’s eyes snapped open with a sharp gasp, and he jolted upwards in the bed. A faint light glowed from somewhere near his wrists, but he tamped it down with a grimace just a moment later.

“Nikoletta?”

“Who else?” she replied, planting her hands on her hips and frowning again at the bruises painting his skin. She waved a hand vaguely in his direction, every movement sharp. “Who did this? Who attacked you?”

He opened his mouth to respond, then frowned and shut it again. He shook his head. 

“You won’t tell me.” Nikoletta guessed, clenching her jaw in anger, “Goddammit, Abner, I’m trying to help you! I’m trying to make sure this doesn’t happen again!”

“It won’t fix anything.”

“This isn’t like grade school bullies,” she insisted, “If you tell me who did it, the problem will go away. Permanently. I need to know who did this.”

“So you can kill them?”

“I haven’t killed anyone.” Nikoletta snapped. The words came out too harsh, and she wanted to wince. Abner flinched, but there was something deeper in his eyes. He raised his eyebrows. Nikoletta resisted the urge to scoff. “Listen. All I do is mark the ones who have it coming to them. I don’t sponsor any violence of my own, I just… rescind my protection. Anyone who’s marked has to fend for themself. That’s how it works.”

“But they all die anyway, don’t they?” he asked. His voice had gone soft. It sent a maelstrom of emotion through Nikoletta’s chest. She wanted to be angry - with him for poking holes in all the rules that should have kept him safe, and with his attackers for sparking all this to begin with - but strangely couldn’t find the emotion within herself. Abner’s eyes were tired and sad, the effect only magnified by the fact that one was nearly swollen shut. 

“Yes.” Nikoletta finally hissed, “They die. That’s the nature of Belle Reve. If I didn’t have my system in place, they’d have killed you too.”

“Maybe that’s not so bad…”

If it were up to me, I’d just mark him now. Just to get it over with. 

Nikoletta grimaced as the words echoed in her mind. Adrian wanted her to mark him. Whoever had attacked Abner wanted her to mark him. Hell- it seemed like Abner himself wanted her to mark him, just to rip the Band-Aid off. 

For the slimmest moment, she was tempted. 

But only for that one moment. 

“Stop that. You’re in pain. Death won’t bring you the relief you want.” Nikoletta muttered, “Trust me, I’ve been there myself. The only way to make things better is to fix them yourself. Now tell me who attacked you.” 

“STAR Labs?” he asked instead, apparently ignoring her demands, “Is that what brought you there? Is that why you… you hurt like that?”

“Of course it was fucking STAR Labs.” she said, reaching for the sleeve of her jumpsuit and tugging it up to expose the silvery track marks at her elbows, “You think I had these before STAR Labs? You think I was in prison before STAR Labs? You think I had to cover every fucking inch of my skin before STAR Labs?”

“Why are you angry?”

“Why aren’t you?” she fired back, “Look at yourself. Look at the bruises. It’s going to happen again if you don’t tell me who gave them to you.”

Abner was quiet for a long time. He stared down at his hands with a distant look in his eyes. Nikoletta shifted on her feet. It shouldn’t have been this difficult of a decision to make. It was a choice between safety or pain, and he didn’t have to do anything but give her a name. There wouldn’t even be any guilt in it, she thought. They’d struck the first blow. The Queen of Belle Reve had very particular rules, and those rules had been broken. It was all fair play.

Finally he looked up and met her eyes. Nikoletta lifted her eyebrows, awaiting his response. 

“Will you do me a favor?”

“Hm?” 

“Will you get me a glass of water? Please?” Abner asked, his voice falling back to that near-whisper of his, “The nurses don’t like coming over here. Not when I don’t have the…”

He trailed off but gestured vaguely at his neck. Nikoletta nodded. She still wasn’t sure what power it was that had the nurses so afraid of him - something to do with that odd light when she startled him, she was sure - but it must have been something big. Most things that came from STAR Labs were. 

Nikoletta took a step back and melted into the shadows. She was back a moment later, a half-filled plastic cup clutched in one gloved hand. She held it out, and Abner took the cup with a faint but grateful smile. He sat up and took a sip, grimacing like every motion hurt. Looking at him, she believed it. She hoped the nurses had at least given him some sort of painkiller before they vanished.

“I don’t like killing people.” Abner mumbled after a few long moments of silence. His fingers worried at the edges of the cup. He refused to meet her eyes.

“So you’d rather let yourself get beat to shit like this than tell me who did it? None of the blood is on your hands here, Abner. They attacked someone under my protection, so they deserve to have their own protections stripped away. It’s all just turnabout. Fairness. Really… if you tell me now, they’ll probably be gone before you get out of that bed. Why the fuck are you protecting them?”

“Because it’s still…”

Abner trailed off, shaking his head with a low sigh. 

“I’m sorry, Nik. I can’t.”

Nikoletta scoffed and took a step back from him. She couldn’t believe this - beaten so badly he’d landed in the medbay, covered in blood and bruises, so severe they’d even removed his power dampener, and he still refused to give her a name. Did he really have so much guilt for something he hadn’t even done? How had he managed to take down STAR Labs, with a hyperactive conscience like that?

The sadness in Abner’s eyes only deepened as Nikoletta took another step back. It was hard to look at. She sighed. 

“Do you need anything else? Before I go?”

“Um… no. I don’t think so.” he said, “But if you… if you wanted to come back sometime? Just to talk for a while? This place, it reminds me of the lab. It’s hard to be here.”

She could understand that. Normally she avoided the medbay like the plague for that same reason. She didn’t like her cell much either, but this was… worse. Nikoletta pursed her lips but gave him a singular nod.

“I’ll be back in a few hours. Try to think of some things you want to talk about before I get back.”

She took a final step back, returning to the familiar not-quite-comfort of her shadows, and had already begin to slip into that other realm when she heard Abner’s soft voice one more time. 

“Nikoletta. Thank you.”

She was back in the cafeteria before she could even think to respond, but the words rattled around in her mind much longer than they should have. That whole interaction had been… odd. He was an odd man. In a lot of ways. She didn’t quite mind it, but it was certainly different from the interactions she was used to. 

“Any luck?” Adrian’s voice, deceptively chipper, pulled her from her thoughts. Nikoletta shot him a lukewarm look, irritation bubbling just underneath the surface. 

“No. He won’t give them up. For whatever God-forsaken reason.” she said, shaking her head, “Lands himself in a hospital bed but won’t even tell me who put him there.”

“I’m telling you, Nik, you could save yourself a lot of trouble if you just-”

“I’m not marking him. Especially not now. That sets a precedent I don’t want to set.”

“Suit yourself.” he muttered, though he clearly didn’t agree with her decision in the slightest. After a moment he shrugged, tossing it aside like water off a duck’s back. He waved a hand towards the opposite side of the cafeteria. “Well, in that case… I’ve been doing a little recon-”

“I’m assuming that means you walked straight up to their table and dared them to give you the gossip?”

“It was recon. I was very subtle.” Adrian repeated with a huff, “And it sounds like one of the guys that jumped him was that calendar guy, with all the tattoos? Heard one of the cameras got footage of it, just a couple frames. Y’know, it’s probably not a great idea to attack a guy in the middle of the night if you’re one of the four prisoners in here who can be recognized from the back si-”

“Thanks.” she said, cutting him off before he could get into one of his diatribes, “I’ll take care of it.”

____

“Julian.” 

This time, she meant to be startling. The tattooed criminal sat bolt upright in his cot, frantically scanning the shadows for where her voice had come from. Nikoletta took a step forward, allowing herself to be lit by the dull yellow bulbs that shone in from the hallway. The sight of her didn’t ease the fear on his face. 

“I heard you broke my rules.” Nikoletta continued, drawing each word out, “You attacked a prisoner who wasn’t marked. You know what the punishment for that is.”

All lingering dredges of sleep had vanished from his posture, and he looked at her with wary eyes. His fingers were curled tightly into his bedsheet, as if he were debating trying to smother her with it. Surely he had to know he was outmatched here. Surely he had to know that was why she confronted him in the dead of night, blanketed on all sides by her shadows.

“So what? Not like I did anything big, just knocked him around a little. Fuckin’ creep deserved it, too.” he replied, the words so loud and barbed that she could hear cots creaking in the neighboring cells. Tension drew into Nikoletta’s posture, both from the words and the growing audience to them. She took a step closer, aiming to administer her punishment swiftly and potently. With a mark, and with all the gossip that had been swirling over the ordeal, he’d be gone by breakfast. 

But they all die anyway, don’t they?

I don’t like killing people.

Nikoletta froze on the spot, jaw clenched so tightly it hurt. It was a matter of principle. Julian broke her rules, she administered punishment, it resolved the conflict that landed Abner in the medical wing and secured Nikoletta’s reputation as a strict but objective ruler. Half a second’s action to repair a host of issues. All it took was one little death. 

But she found herself stepping back. Confusion crested across Julian’s face, in equal share with the same sharp wariness. 

“No more second chances.” Nikoletta warned, darkness dripping off every word, “Do better. This will be the only mercy you’ll get from me.”

And with that, she vanished into the dark.

[hiraeth-witch-11]

Bond to Happen Part 4

Part 4: A Girl's Night Out

Warnings: some discussion of violence, very light suggestive material, alcohol

Word Count: 1600ish

(I know it's a bit short, but a certain key character will make their first appearance so hopefully it's worth it)

“Matt pulls dumb shit all the time, but ‘testing’ you to see how far you’d go was not fucking okay,” Karen says angrily.

“It could’ve been worse,” you shrug.

“How could it have been worse, hun?” She shouts incredulously.

“He could’ve lured me into a trap and left me to deal with it myself, he could’ve straight out attacked me, outed me to a bounty hunter, drugged me, let me get shot or stabbed-”

“Jesus, that’s where your mind goes?” She looks shocked and you nod.

“People do terrible things to my kind, I don’t blame him for being curious,” you say honestly. You were surprised it hadn’t happened sooner.

“Matt shouldn’t have done that, babe,” Karen says softly. “You deserve better, you should expect better, especially from your friends.”

You tilt your head at her in thought. You hadn’t expected her to be this upset for you, when you told her. 

Deciding to change the subject, you say, “Well, now that you’re all caught up on the Matt and Frank drama, can we leave?”

“Yeah, as soon as you get ready,” she nods.

“I am ready,” you insist, looking down at your clothes.

“You wear jeans and a t-shirt when you go out?” Karen asks in disbelief. “How do clubs even let you in?”

“I’m almost always wearing the ‘don’t look too close’ spell. They don’t notice what I’m wearing,” you say defensively.

“Sweetie, I love you, but we are dressing up before I take you out,” she insists, turning to her own closet. 

You groan. “You aren’t taking me out, you’re tagging along because of the new Buddy System rule. I don’t need to look good or even be visible, to feed, Kare.”

“But if you look ‘good’ and let people see you and focus on you, won’t that increase your energy intake?”

“Screw you for being so smart, Karebear. Where did you even learn about that?” She was right. If people focused on you, their energy would push towards you and make this shit version of feeding more efficient. You just hated dealing with the attention by yourself, sometimes people didn’t take no for an answer and you’d learned that the hard way.

“I’ve been studying soul and body energy theory,” she shrugs as she continues to dig through her closet.

“Really? Why?” You ask incredulously.

“For you, silly,” she tosses the words over her shoulder.

You swallow a knot of emotion trying to make its way up your throat. Karen had looked into something complex and confusing, put in effort without you asking, and used it to try to help you instead of using it against you.

“Here, this should work. We aren’t exactly the same size, but this is adjustable so it should balance out.” She hands you a red wrap dress. It’s a little bright for your skin tone and conservative for a club with a skirt that almost brushes your knees, a high back, and long sleeves. But that was intentional, you wanted to avoid any accidental skin contact in such a crowded place.

You shuffle to the bathroom to try on the dress. Kare was right, it didn’t fit you the same way it did her, but you were surprised that you actually felt pretty wearing it. As conservative as it was everywhere else, the neckline made up for it, plunging a couple inches below your breasts. You step out of the bathroom to a very excited Karen.

“You look hot, babe! I don’t think I’ve ever actually seen you in a real dress. I’m so proud of you for branching out!” She claps.

“I wear skirts and some dresses,” you grumble, ducking your head to hide your blush.

“Yeah, yeah, but those are your casual comfy clothes. They don’t count. Seriously, where have you been hiding those,” she asks teasingly, glancing at the cleavage fully on display.

You blush fully now. “They’re gonna fall out the second I move, Kare.”

“That’s what double sided tape is for, babes. Trust me, I’ve got experience with this dress.”

You let her apply the tape to the dress and your skin. She’s careful to minimize contact, knowing that you are anxious and sensitive right now.

“It’s a good thing your boots match, we’ll have to go shopping before next time. Our shoe sizes are too different for you to wear my shoes.” She looks a little disappointed at that fact.

“I think your shoes would actually kill me if I wore them,” you laugh, looking at the tall heels lining her closet.

“Hah, you’re tougher than that,” she snorts.

You’re happy with your boots, though. They were black and sturdy, with a small chunky heel and laces you’d woven protective charms into. Over your skin toned tights, they were comfortable. You carefully did a little make up, mostly a dark shade of lipstick and mascara, before tucking yourself into the cab next to Karen. The ride to the club was too short as you grounded yourself for the evening. 

“I’m here, sweetie. If you need anything or you want to go at any point, say the word and we’ll go back to my place and do some self care with wine and those cookies Mrs. Brown brought yesterday,” she says soothingly, reaching slowly and with purpose towards your hand. You nod and she gently squeezes your hand reassuringly.

“I can do this,” you say, just as much to yourself as to Karen. “It’s okay to be seen, I’m safe.” You carefully relax your hold on your magic, letting it spread like mist and settle as it pleases, your walls are down and the energy of others hits you like a wave of dry summer heat. Intense, a little suffocating, but you’ll adjust. Taking one more deep breath, you removed the spell that kept eyes from focusing on you. “Let’s get a drink,” you say clearly.

“I’m proud of you, babe,” she whispers into your ear. You give a little smile and order something sweet and fruity, light on alcohol to keep your mind clear. You already felt invigorated, like a cup of coffee beginning to hit your bloodstream. More awake, more focused.

After a few minutes of chatting over the music and nursing your drinks, you toss your’s back and suggest with a toothy grin,”Let’s go dance.”

******

Across the room, your magic was taking note of something you would not be consciously aware of until several months later.

Billy Russo didn’t frequent these places as often as he used to. They were loud and crowded and although he maintained a youthful appearance, he was getting too old to enjoy this sort of thing as frequently. But tonight, he was glad that he decided to go out. Across the room, at the bar was a woman who’s energy was magnetic with a soft glow to it. 

She wasn’t necessarily his usual type, not that he would restrict himself to just one type of woman, or person in general. Even so, there was something about her. Maybe it was the way she grinned at her friend. Maybe it was the scuffed black boots laced with multicolored beads and charms, out of place among the stilettos and pumps of those around her. Maybe it was the way her eyes flickered blue or her hair that moved as if she had her own personal breeze around her. Maybe it was the way the sea of people dancing parted for her as she dragged her friend into the mix. Maybe it was all of those things and the fact that he could smell her and only her. Lavender. Something earthy, like the beginning of a desert rain storm. And the sweetness of her drink on her breath. All of those things, wrapped in a tight red dress that had now disappeared into the crowd.

Billy didn’t know what the woman was, but she wasn’t human, that was certain. He sipped his drink and closed his eyes for a moment, focusing on the energies of the people around him. Billy was surprised to find the gentle fog of blue magic wrapping around him as if it was trying to draw out his own, something he kept under a tight control. The only energy others would see was what he carefully crafted for them. The soft blue energy seemed to be testing the boundaries of his own, brushing up against him in search of the real thing. Choosing to ignore it was the wise decision. Pulling away would only suggest he had something to hide, a fact he’d learned years ago. So he let the curious energy drift around him before it settled comfortably in a loose circle around his spot on the semi-circular booth. 

*******

Unaware of your magic’s bold and autonomous behavior, you dance with Karen. Sometimes goofily, other times practically grinding on each other as you feed off the room. You feel different, safe in a way you didn’t usually when feeding. You attribute it to Karen’s presence and thank her for accompanying you as you collapse on her couch when the night is over.

“I’m glad we did that, I’m exhausted, but it was super fun. It’s been a while since i had a proper girls’ night,” Karen agrees, flopping down next to you as she kicks her heels off. “How do you feel?”

“Better, like I had a cup of coffee and took a nap. I don’t feel as exposed right now.”

She hums in acknowledgement. “Good, we’ll do this again before the end of the month.”

“Sounds good,” you say, not bothering to argue that you usually wait longer in between outings. It was nice to have people who cared about you.

******

Billy Russo had watched as you left the club, making a careful mental note of your appearance, scent, and the feel of your power. Instinct told him that you might be something special. Something he should find and hold onto. Hopefully something he could use to deal with Rawlins.

Series List

[doberbutts]

Someone left this tag on my post and-

Not to be annoyingly Mennonite or anything but that's literally how Christians were told to be BY JESUS HIMSELF and it's one of the major problems I had with the Christian church when I was religious was that everybody fucking ignored it. Imagine worshipping a dude that said "be nice to others, no seriously I mean it, yes even that person you don't like or understand, hating people is like killing them in your heart which is exactly the same as committing the actual sin of murder so instead be kind and love everyone" and then doing... exactly what mainstream Christians do. Clown shit. No wonder I walked away in disgust.

Doing your best to show kindness and compassion to those around you, especially those in need, is one of the only teachings of the Christian church that I thought they got right. Same most Christians forgot that lesson despite it being repeated over and over again across the first four books of their chunk of the Bible 🤡

Anyway I'm not religious anymore and I snarled inwardly to be compared to the church because 🔪🔪🔪 Christianity 🔪🔪🔪 but ain't it a damn shame that someone who grew up in a school system that wanted me to be a priest and left due to the vile behavior he saw in the religion somehow shows better behavior than those who say they still follow and worship the man himself.

[anarcho-puppy]

hiya! welcome to my blog! i mostly just rb or post for myself soooo... don't expect much in terms of consistency lol.

my pronouns are he/him/his, xe/xem/xers, or it/it's; if you misgender me on purpose, you will be blocked >:P

alive but gay

i rb a lost of fandom stuff (basically just whatever media i'm currently hyperfixating on), but these are my favourite media:

DC (mostly batfam)

BBC Sherlock

Hannibal

ATLA (also kinda TLOK, but not as much)

Good Omens

OFMD

Marvel (debatable, not the new stuff, mostly just AOS)

Sense8

WWDITS

Jesus Christ Superstar (shut up, i’m a theatre kid)

The Last Days of Judas Iscariot (in relation to JCS)

The Dragon Prince

Amulet (i’m allowed to be a kid, okay)

Bluey (…very much allowed to be a kid)

HTTYD

ninjago

probs more, i just have a shit memory lmao

pls pls talk to me about my interests! send me asks!

just spent two hours organizing my blog so that i can actually find stuff... so here's a guide:

#puppy barks = og text posts, rants, etc. (basically just everything other than rbs, except threads i’ve added to and wanted to save)

#anarcho puppy (duh) = anarchist and an-com shit

#geo nerd puppy = history-related stuff (one of my SPINs)

#pub trans puppy = public transit-related stuff (another SPIN)

#puppy puppy = feral (sometimes) dog boy me

#poet puppy = started out as poetry but now it’s basically just me writing things

#arty puppy = my art and art rbs

#disabled puppy = disability stuff

#neurodivergent puppy = autism/ADHD shit

#nom nom puppy = baking/cooking/food stuff

#conlang puppy = conlang shit

#little puppy = agere/little me stuff

#faggot shit = uhm uhhhhh… yeah…

#mutual aid/gofundme = self explanatory (please donate or reblog!)

#my polls = polls (obviously /s)

#me = pics of me

#ask = my asks

#hehe = ...yeah i'm not doing so hot (memory loss, trauma, etc.)

#dc = self explanatory (#B, #NW, #RH, #RR, #R, #O, #steph, #cass, #duke, #alfred, #clark, #kon, #jon, #talia, #bernard)

#hozier = my MAN

#atla = avatar the last airbender (and spin-offs)

#sherlock = self explanatory

#tdp = the dragon prince

#hannibal = self explanatory

#go = good omens

#ninjago = self explanatory

#sense8 = self explanatory

#assortment of religious hyperfixations = jesus christ superstar, the last days of judas iscariot, etc.

#i’m gonna be a lawyer bitch = my latest hyperfixation; law, specifically landlord and tenant rights and responsibilities (an actually practical hyperfixation?? crazy… /s)

#covid safety = self explanatory and also really important

#L = iykyk

shut up, i know that there’s a shit tons of tags but it’s not for you; i don’t expect y’all to need a tagging system bc you’re probably not doing a deep dive on my blog, but i need to be able to find things, hence the excessive tagging system :)

DNI LIST:

zionist

racist

sexist

homophobic

transphobic

antisemetic

islamophobic

pedophile/"MAP"

self-described liberal

anti-communist

biden supporter

radqueers

transids/whatever the fuck you’re calling yourselves

etc.

yes, i know that dni lists won’t stop dirty, disgusting people from interacting, but it makes me feel better when i set clear boundaries.

and remember kids, i block LIBERALLY >:P

[modern-inheritance]

WIP Game Response

Buckle up buttercups!

@demiaseranmage tagged me in the game below, and I didn't want to clutter up the thread it was in so I've plopped it all here. And when I said it's gonna be messy, I just meant there would be a lot. It's actually really a good thing for me to scroll through everything and see what's been left on the backburner! So thank you for the tag!

Rules: Make a new post with the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! Then tag as many people as you have WIPS.

Here we go. In NO particular order, but grouped by the variety of docs I contain them all in…

Shorts 2:

Denial (requires a better title but I enjoy thinking about Egypt when I tinker with it)

“We’re finding workarounds, focusing on healing things to the state they are now rather than a full renewal. That’s not caused problems yet, but it’s…trial and error.” “Oh?” “...He thought he killed me the first try. Both of us had a bit of a breakdown.”

Short Shorts:

Again! (a frequently revisited concept that has never born actual full stories or shorts)

Voluntary Recall

Vanir

Nerves (kinda abandoned ages ago)

Standalones/Standalone documents w/ a single concept:

AXF First True (the spicy!) DONE!

Wardbreakers

Invaders Story Bits (the animatic which had to be abandoned due to file loss!)

EXA Attempts (continuously revisited as the fancy strikes)

For a Future Story

Debrief

Escape pt 2

MIC Gil'ead Bits (frequently revisited, where I keep all the actual Gil'ead stuff and concepts rather than the flashbacks and Recall episodes)

Short (this is just a random collection of bits and pieces of the time directly before Arya leaves, drawing in Brom, Oromis and Glaedr and later Rhunön to the family drama)

The Meadow (I’m not sure I like the direction this was going now that I’ve looked at Arya and Fäolin’s relationship again, but it’s a concept I will revisit I’m sure)

Fireside (holy shit I forgot about this one it’s just bits and pieces of dialogue from what I wanted to do for the MIC version of the fireside chat Eragon and Arya have in Brisingr surrounding Fäolin, her experiences in Gilead, etc. and I’mma have to look at this again later.)

Things not yet in a document:

Arya vs Unkie KiKi

The origin of Arya’s stomach scar, and the potential issues it brings up with a LOT of things but I need to do more biology and healing research

The joke of how Arya got her eyebrow scar, because hell if I know where she got it, and she ain’t tellin’ ME either!

Glenwing’s encounter with the Forsworn trained group that left him his facial scars

Eragon’s first facial scar and him wanting to keep it

Haircuts. Soooo many haircuts. 

What happened in Thornwell/Brom’s rages

So. Many. Magic system. Concepts!

The Wolfcats/Squaddies and the adventures Arya has learning to adapt like the humans do

Arya, Squaddies and The Tank

Sabotage Runs/No Man's Land Hauntings

A subset of dwarf music that is musically similar to our Bluegrass but with a bit more rough Appalachian style (thinking ‘Devil Wears a Suit and Tie by Colter Wall) and the pop of a lil bit of rough swing (‘Old man of the mountain’ by Big Bad Voodoo Daddy) and instead of being called ‘Bluegrass’ it’s a genre called ‘Slate.’ Because blue slate, bluegrass, slate is commonplace in some metamorphosed areas in the mountains…. Look I have a geology degree, I need to use it for bad jokes sometimes, and I’d love to see if this wild mix of styles would fit together musically one day.

So many interactions between Arya + Fírnen and Murtagh + Thorn. 

JEsus chrIST, Arya’s buried self hatred and guilt issues, especially surrounding Selena’s boys and their dragons

Brom’s own feelings of guilt around Arya’s imprisonment despite both of them knowing full well that he couldn’t have done anything but put himself, Eragon adn Saphira in danger if the ‘rescue’ went any other way.

‘Suffering’ from EPIC the Musical being inspiration for Arya having an induced and influenced hallucination by Durza ending with a similar vein of ‘[Arya] Fine, but only if you answer a question or two/ [Durza!Glen-Fäolin mix]: of course!/  [Arya, with a bared tooth smile] What’s my name?’

THERE ARE SO MANY MORE I PROBABLY CAN’T EVEN REMEMBER I HAD

There is so, so much of MIC that is never shown to y’all because it is never developed past the concept or in-the-brain stage, or it just falls apart, or I hit a wall, or the mojo disappears and i’ve lost the spark for that idea and can’t bring myself to just word vomit it out into the blog because I had/have a decent story set up and waiting. 

I don’t really have anyone to tag really. Not right now, but I’m definitely saving this for a new thread one day to ask all my friendly chatty people. Y’all can ask me about these, literally ANY of them. Because if you don’t there’s a fair chance they won’t ever be completed lmao.